#like who asked. but whatever
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thinking about That Time a guest read all 10 published chapters and 30k words of my toxic yuri fic only to leave a four page literal 1700 word comment about how unhealthy and toxic it was AND THEN proceeded to write their own revenge fantasy fanfiction in my comments in bullet points like brother their hater game was INSANE
#speaking of i should update that godforsaken fic its been literal years#liveblogging.pdf#i remember i called my bff and we laughed about it for an hour#the only part that annoyed me was they called my otp that wasn't even the main focus of the story ableist slurs#like who asked. but whatever#anyway i wasnt as much of an idgafer as i am now back then so i actually started feeling guilty about the toxicity. a little#but instead of fixing it with healthy conversations or whatever i did the logical thing and made it more toxic from the other side#so they're both even and terrible people <3#im actually glad that happened cause they're so much more toxic and fucked up now really pushed me to my limits
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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Little Stan getting manipulated by Bill has excellent angst potential but consider.
Stanley just, keeps tricking Bill. Because Bill would definitely massively underestimate Stanley and how far he’ll go to protect Ford (like in the actual show). We also know Stanley has the street smarts between the twins and could absolutely tell Bill is full of it.
And because Bill would absolutely loose his mind if he kept getting foiled by a snot nosed eight year old that isn’t even supposed to be here
I like to think that he doesn’t even try that hard he just does not even care about bill
#I saw someone saying that ford calls bill this master manipulator that uses mind tricks to get his way#but ford is just socially inept and desperate for validation from his muse that he just#falls for it insanely easily#ford and fidds being all like “BEWARE BILL - HE’LL TRY TRICK YOU!! HE’S DANGEROUS!!”#and little Stan is confused like “you mean that guy who tried to convince me to sell you out for like knowledge or whatever?”#remember - Stan is literally the one who tells dipper how to defeat Bill in their first fight with him#he’s also the one to finally beat him at the end#and the only one NOT to make a deal with Bill#I reckon even as a kid he wouldn’t give his brother up for anything.#my art#ask#twins in time au#stan pines#stanley pines#bill cipher
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a glass sun 1/2
#my art#my stuff#this is really fucking long so im gonna have to break it up into multiple reblogs#(howling) WAUGHHHHHHH#i love aishang by xiaoshiguniang#i love to implicate my alma mater in my art about being gay in the shittiest most conservative corner of singaporean society#by some terrible trick of fate i ended up in the conservative chinese christian cishet circuit from primary school to end of hs#obviously i am not most of these things but there i was. Depressed#and there i was after that at Liberal Arts College. the 4 years i spent there were a clusterfuck#but like a good and outrageous and lively clusterfuck#and i graduated in may this year and when i came back it was for the first time in 10 months. it was like. what da hell#like i love being here in specific ways but there is also the pain of being seen as something you're not constantly#can i blame them? i ask myself this every day. for most of my ex classmates and relatives i Am the only not cis person they know#idk my lottery number was bad this corner of society really is that bad#and so its like. idk dawg anyway i aint offering solutions but u get it like it fucks with your head to be misgendered either which way 24/#but to leave them behind would be to leave the only people who knew me for the first 19 years behind. and thats a lot of my life#i am 23!!!!!! ough#anyway. whatever. if u liked it i have a ko-fi#reblogos appreciated
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you ask yuuta if he wants a bite of your food and when he says yes you offer your plate to him, but he’s just sat there looking at you with his dumb big bambi boy eyes and his mouth slightly open and he will not look away or blink or close his mouth until you lift your fork to his lips to feed him and then he grins like shit’s sweet and hums about how good the food is like nothing happened like he’s not ridiculously attractive. gonna chew on steel
#he consistently does shit like this is like he's not stupidly attractive and its because he does not know. he does not know that he's hot#the yuuta/yuuji divide is that they’re both bad asl and neither know it but yuuji is Not innocent and yuuta is just naive [at first]#which is me saying yuuji is kind but yuuta is just Nice once again#insane i need to bash his head against a table. and kiss him i guess whatever#also who expects to be fed when you offer them food: toge but he KNOWS he's being annoying and whines if u dont feed him#gojo/yuuji/choso are the opposite#gojo asks if u want some of his food and then won't let u have any unless u let him feed it to you. nd if u want to avoid a scene u have to#he just babies people :((///// he does this to everyone . will cry#yuuji also does it reflexively like hes like 'oh! this is good you should try it!' and before u can even agree he's got his spoon#in your mouth and smiling like 😇 its good right!🥰......angel boy#choso...do i need to say it isn't there canonical evidence for this#oh also u offer food to toji and he just kinda tilts his head like oh what ur not gonna feed me? like no. stinky. feed YOURSELF!#yuuta okkotsu.................... when i get my hands on this boy....#💌
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Fig and the Cig Figs!!!
#junior year so far is such a delight#did you give another character you like curly hair out of nowhere you ask#and to that I say good question I *flees*#dimension 20#figeroth faeth#the bad kids#fantasy high#fantasy high: junior year#she’s blowing a kiss to ayda in the crowd who is whatever her equivalent of Beet red with arousal is#watching her silently and blankly thinking heinously dirty thoughts#*#fhjy#fh#fig faeth#my art
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Tiny skk adventures!
not like they're also cranky and tired and touch-starved
#tiny skk adventures#''why is chuuya at the ada'' you're asking too many questions. why is any of this happening.#this skk flavour (like most i offer) comes with a free choice of romantic platonic something in-between or whatever else you may want#but here the longing is mandatory#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanart#bsd dazai#bsd dazai osamu#bsd chuuya#bsd nakahara chuuya#skk#soukoku#and friends#nawy's comics#AH DANG I FORGOT TO WRITE#dedicated to remi who's enabling me and bombarding me with ideas for the tinies
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Couldn’t stop thinking about Dust being able to pass as Classic. So I had an idea where Dust replaces Classic in a timeline and steals(?) his partner.
He gets conflicted when he starts actually caring about you… But denial is an easy road to take when there’s seemingly no consequences to your actions.
The reveal i guess. Most normal reaction to learning your partners been replaced for god knows how long and you have no clue where he is.
Now that I think about it I might’ve gotten some inspiration from that one chapter of IJAG by @htsan (iykyk) only a lil bit tho
(Full rambling of the idea + extra sketch cuz i liked the expression) ↓↓
I originally wanted y/n to notice the differences instantly but i think it would be angstier if they didn’t and only noticed like months later >:3
#hoodies are hard#i need to practice more#hrmmm#also i guess the new sona is staying#lol#theres much more to this but basically dust gets attached#he was not prepared to get attached (dumbass lmao)#you may ask ‘oh he can just kill them why does he look so scared?’#hes scared of losing them#hes selfish#theres so much angst potential here hehehoo#the idea of sans just being trapped in a basement unable to teleport out for whatever reason… help him…#dust trying to get information out of him about y/n while taunting him about how easy he is to replace#but theres also a funny side to it cuz like. ‘hey whats your favorite movie again?’ ‘Very funny sans#You know what my favorite movie is…’#Dust who has no fucking clue: ‘ehehe yeah i know im just joking’ *hes actually freaking out a bit on the inside*#sans#dust sans#my beloved#my beloathed#sans x self insert#sans x reader#sans x you#undertale au#fic idea#prolly a oneshot#leafs art#replaced au
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we as a collective do Not talk about this line delivery nearly enough and for good fucking reason, i'll kill bradley james for this one line alone. he's just a little boy :'((
#sami rambles#like. he's still the same little kid who didn't really know what it was to be looked after/cared for/doted on#at the heart of him he's still just that lonely young boy who always had to earn people's attention#or just take whatever he got for the simple fact of being the king's son :/#even after so long he's still not used to merlin's love. and now. now he can't see what he's ever done to deserve it#seeing everything all at once and he just. he needs answers before he goes.#he's just a little boy asking 'why' to prolong his bedtime a few moments more#oh fuck. just caused irreparable damage to myself with that last one ahaha#merlin#bbc merlin#arthur pendragon#merthur#bradley james
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“Thank you for asking what nobody else did.
What not even I considered.”
Drawn with my non-dominant hand.
#fucking gave up on the last frame but whatever#uh#dear the person I am addressing#you know who you are#love you platonically#but I’m not good at accepting your kindness or putting my thankfulness into words#so here we are!!#also sorry your hot pink#you seem like you like pink#and again thanks#for asking me if I’m okay#I hadn’t given myself time to ask that question#I appreciate you#okay soppy time over fuck you man#onto the other tags#disability month#happy disability pride month#disability pride month#disabilties#fibromyalgia#AMPS#ganglion cyst#tendonitis#damn I collect illnesses like trading cards#vent comic#but like in a positive way#art#digital art#comic#rubes art
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when merlin asks arthur for things, the king is usually inclined to give him what he wants but it is not always guaranteed such as when his emotions cloud his judgement. but merlin’s surefire way of getting arthur to give in? he steps into his space, lays a gentle hand on his arm, and says “arthur, please” and he folds like a house of cards.
#arthur is so used to people keeping their distance and referring to his with his titles and honorifics and whatnot#so when merlin treats him like a normal person and touches him gently and speaks his name?#hes so overwhelmed by the intimacy and warmth that he agrees to whatever merlin is saying/asking#even the knights who are a close band of brothers still use titles and honorifics#rarely if ever do they just use his name#so his brain melts when merlin does#especially all soft like that#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#it takes merlin a long time to figure this lil trick out bc hes not one for pleading or begging#so the situation was dire when he first did this#and arthur gave in without a second thought so merlin filed it away#over a long period of time he tested it out and found that no matter what he was asking arthur would give it to him if he did this#fanfiction#fanfic#fic ideas#prompts
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Karkat needs to looksmaxx
id write something funny here but i am physically incapable of being insincere about karkat vantas
#ask#anon#homestuck#karkat vantas#gif#2023#vioart#the implications of this ask im crylaughing#lets just say that whatever he currently looks like.. its definitely working for him#the amt of ppl who would agree to a relationship w/ karkat#proves that whatever form his face is in‚ it is (somehow) miraculously easy to forgive <'3
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Horrible thing to say but I think there's a real chance Jiang Yanli was both of her parents' least favorite child and knew it and just kinda. Had to go on with her life knowing that.
#mdzs#jiang yanli#yunmeng siblings#madam yu's favorite kid is jc. she doesn't. um. SHOW it in a very affirming way but he's clearly the one she's emotionally most invested in#jfm's favorite kid is wwx. is he even one of his kids? doesn't matter. he's the favorite#(madam yu does NOT see wwx as her child so he doesn't factor into the calculation for her.)#i think jfm's neglect of jc is talked about. mostly because the both jc and wwx are clearly aware of it and so it's mentioned in novel#but um... DO we see either of yanli's parents give much a shit about her? ever?#jfm doesn't even ask if she WANTS her engagement dissolved before doing so#also the reason stated by other characters for jfm not liking jc is that he's madam yu's child. you know who is ALSO madam yu's child?#i think jfm may find jc.. harder to get along with. but i also think whatever discomfort from his marriage he projects onto his kids#it also extends to yanli. it's just that he's not constantly REMINDED of yanli like he is jc#(because madam yu keeps yelling about it)#and so he just... doesn't think about her much at all#madam yu meanwhile treats yanli with this air of disappointment. she seems to resent that she's 'weak' and gentle and quiet#and that she cares so little about status so as to treat wwx like her little brother#i think yanli is just fundamenally so clearly... not the child either of her parents wanted. and it shows.#i'm slightly peeved fandom doesn't talk about this as much as they talk about the effects the jiang parents had on the two boys.#but to be fair to fandom the book doesn't either#which is probaly just danmei-typical misogyny. but to give a slightly more watsonian reason#i think the yunmeng bros are genuinely unaware of this. yanli is PERFECT how could her parents not love her?#(of course they notice something like zixuan's initial dislike of her but that's blatant.)#(vs the attitude of the jiang parents towards their daughter which seems to be mostly... disinterest and disappointment)
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there’s a lot of infuriating transmisogyny but for my money i think some of the most annoying microaggressions are over casual entitlement to our bodies and assumptions we’re fine with touch. i still remember getting ready to go to an event and snapping at a transmasc acquaintance once in college for greeting me by getting their fingers in my hair, messing it up trying to “fix the way i parted it”and they proceeded to mumble out an apology before moping behind me and the rest of our friends for the whole walk there to cry about being told it’s not cool to touch borderline strangers out of the blue without asking even when she’s a tranny
#same guy who waited til their girlfriend walked away to ask the 17 yo trans girl if other trans ppl can /really/ be chasers#and if it’s like problematic or whatever for them to define their aesthetic as ‘man in a dress’#in front of all the other tmes. ahaha#sasha speaks
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this gifset was brought to you just because i wanted to gif the second one.
#khaotung thanawat#first kanaphan#firstkhao#firstkhaotung#gmmtv actors#thai actor#gmmtv boys#bibi gifs#gmmtv actor#thai bl actors#thai actors#in the context of the second one fourth asks neo what he likes#and neo answers 'i like mint'#as in his girlfriend mint who's also in the episode#and fk just look at each other like oh dude this again#but it felt disingenuous to make a gifset so sweet for neomint when my focus wasn't on them#but also you can see how much first just follows whatever khaotung says with this ep tbh#he would look at khaotung with such a face like bitch that ain't it but sure i'll go with you
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JJK OLYMPICS OHHH YOURE A GENIUS
head spinning w sooooooo many athlete aus rn…..
satoru honestly isn’t half as cocky as the media makes him out to be but he could be because you bring up world champion men’s freestyle swim times and it’s his name on the scoreboard ten times before someone else shows up. he’s faster than himself by fifteen seconds all around, he’s earned a bit of cockiness. mentioned in the last post that whenever he’s at a competition and he finishes a race, he looks at the camera and signs a little infinity sign and then blows a kiss to you. some bitter old coach always calls him out on it, and gets him fined for unsportsmanlike conduct, and he’s happy to pay the fees if it means getting a message home to you, but eventually you two come up with a new code; and at his next race, he places gold, turns to the camera, crosses his middle finger over his pointer finger and smiles. when he’s in his post-race interview, he makes sure to explain that he does it for you with the widest smile on his face.
megumi nepotism baby but not in the same sport. toji was a multi gold medalist back in his heyday for shooting, so it’s not really a surprise to anybody that megumi has scary good aim, but he takes to archery instead of shooting. actually the idea of megumi being an emo little kid and throwing rocks at a tree when his dad pissed him off his hilarious, and even funnier is toji watching him, slightly amused and a little scared because megumi is maybe six and hitting the exact same spot every single time. he grows to be very blase about it—it’s more of a release/hobby for him that he happens to be really good at, and well, now good enough to earn a few olympic medals. megumi is not a fan of having his dad ruffle his hair on international television after he’s won, but he supposes it can’t be helped.
i don’t know where to put yuuta…. tennis…. tempting….. him in his little white shorts…. little grunts after he serves…. cries….. a complete 180 in his personality when he’s playing vs doing anything else. so charming and sweet and kinda shy when he’s being interviewed, and the second he steps on the court his eyes are so cold it’s scary…. need him… extremely nerdy about his rackets, and shoes, and clothes, and rambles to you about aerodynamics and posture and torque whenever you ask him to teach you, and you always have to shutup him up with a kiss and remind him that yeah you sort of want to learn to play tennis for him, but mostly you came bc he looks hot doing it. once he got asked in an interview if he ever thinks about you while he’s playing and his response was very concise, “no, never. it would be a big distraction,” and did not realize the implications of his heavily televised words.
also…. not to make this post 40% yuuta but we could pull from canon a bit and make his sport fencing. he doesn’t excel because he’s the strongest, it’s because he’s learned to treat the sword as an extension of himself and a good strategist… also because i like the image of him pulling the helmet/mask off and shaking his hair out………..
don’t even know where to put yuuji…. volleyball? basketball? track and field??? the irony of him easily being the most athletic but canonically does not want to play sports 😭 but i can see him playing a sport because someone scouts him and it turns out to be a way to make steady money to support himself and his grandpa :( by the time he’s qualified and made it to the olympics, wasuke is doing much better (thanks to yuuji having landed some preemptive sponsorships and being able to afford better medical care), but not so well enough that he can travel across the world to watch yuuji play. wasuke tells you that you should travel and be with yuuji, but yuuji is so touched by the idea that you would stay with his grandpa and be by his side when he’s away :(( he wins gold, of course, and he doesn’t even wait until the closing ceremony—which, he’d mentioned in all of his interviews, so nobody can be too upset. he’s on record saying, “i’m excited to play, but i’m even happier to be going home. my girlfriend and my grandpa are watching me and i miss them!” several times— he’s on the first flight home with flowers, and tears in his eyes. puts his gold medal on his grandpa’s neck as a thank you, and spends probably thirty minutes straight hugging you and kissing you and honestly don’t put it past him to propose now that he’s got nike ambassador money
nanami started judo as a way to relieve the stress of his overbearing job, and someone at the gym/training center notices he seems to be a natural despite being a beginner. he starts to draw a crowd, which annoys him at first because the point of judo was discipline and release from having to deal with too many people at his office job, but nanami supposes he can’t be too mad when you introduce yourself as a talent scout and offer him professional training. there’s irony in him accepting your offer, because it was definitely not based in professionalism at all… quitting his job as a salaryman to become a professional athlete in his mid-twenties was not on his bingo chart, but if it means he will have met you, then so be it. you’re with him all the way, through his training, competitions, world championships, qualifiers, all the way until he’s on the podium. you’re the first to congratulate him, but he interjects by telling you he’s quitting. you ask him why—he just won at the olympics for crying out loud, but nanami just shakes his head, puts down his flowers and his medal so his hands are free to hold your face and tell you, “it would be unethical to kiss my manager, so i am quitting.” (later, when everything is said and done, and you two are cuddling, you mention to him that he could just hire a new manager, and not quit his new career, to which he blushes because yeah… that’s probably more rational, but rational was not in his train of thought at the time)
#anonymous#nanami kento.......................................... god#also yuuji :((((( just a kid who wanted to do something nice for his grandpa I will CRY#immediate proposal when he gets home to you who does he think he is? yuuta?#speaking of yuuta he's like the best player his age and he's always asked to attend events or parties or whatever#and he's always like ah no thank you I am going home to my girlfriend#every fucking interview it's like yeah I love tennis but I love my girlfriend more for supporting and encouraging me#my girlfriend my girlfriend my girlfriend#one day he actually seems Excited to be doing his press conference and a journalist picks up on it to which yuuta happily raises his hand#and lets everyone know that he's now engaged. and very very grateful for his wife#he does the same shit a few years later like randomly during a press conference he's like#'I am kinda nervous. my baby didn't sleep well last night so I was up with him pretty late' and everyone's like BABY?#and yuutas like yeah! he's almost 14 months now do u wanna see him!#let me stop bringing kids into this bc w/ satoru and kento I could go on for hours....#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo x reader#gojo smut#yuuta x reader#yuuji x reader#megumi x reader#nanami kento x reader#once u asked megumi what he thinks about when he's practicing and he's so deadpan as he reloads and arrow#and right before he lets it go he's like 'ur ex boyfriend' and then hits the target dead in the center LMFAO#olympics au
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