#like whattt whattttt

[jinkiesmariz]

Nobody talks about how crazy @jurygarroth s art is like jaw dropping ly pretty bEAUTIFULLL such a consistent quality and ouuuuuhgghhjjed I can’t put it into words anytime I see any bits of his work i like Fall to my knees and curl into a prayer because what the hell!!! What the hell!!! Lucy is such a nice guy too like sorry to get sappy on main but he’s so cool and silly and funny and just a pleasure to be around AND this motherfuvker has the prettiest art known to man and some of the neatest MCD headcanons Ive Seen??? Idm im just like on the floor because what the hell hes so cool we should hunt him for sport….

[arsene-fixates]

Seeker, thank you. I am quite aware that you’ve done no task at all, I am simply… thanking you, for another reason entirely. Forgive me if I am too straightforward with my words, but I have found a home in you. It is not easy to admit this, with my… history, but it is true. I have thought so for a long while now. There is a certain warmth that fills me whenever my hand meets yours, a fondness in my eyes that I have only recently caught myself doing whenever they look into yours. These feelings are all unfamiliar and puzzling, to have someone care about me in a way I thought nobody ever would… I am thankful for that. For your kindness, your understanding, your willingness to listen to me, whether it be about puzzles or the legends that find its way into our conversations. I enjoy listening to you, too. Take care of yourself always, Seeker. I will remember to do so myself too.

I AM SO UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH YOU.

fluster me!

[cuddl3s4shur1]

Trauma, I have a new reason on basically don't fw males unless there my brothers father and best friend

So this guy asked what he would do right? So I'm like a drinking charge

Tell me why he says rape, with a MINOR I'm scared

Please I need a girl friend I can't deal with this men anymore

[quartztwst]

You said something a few days ago I got inspired and made this

A coloured sketch of mizi Quartz

I didn’t like how the others turned out so here’s chibis

OH MY GOD?????? OH MY GOD??????????????? OH MY GOODDDDDDJDUISHFAGDBFVL SZDVZXV. R RW. DGDSWTG DOSDOGHOUDRGROUHGORESHGHUOROHUGUIEYTW7YT49HTRGKJFDVKJNF WYWYASH389457439750287 IOSUFJSH WGAGTTW HATTAY WHATTT WHHATATTATAHW ATAHGH

WHAHEFAOIJRAGKLJLKFG WHATTEHFGREN UHRHGOERGHEROGHIOREGOIH WHHATATATTT WHATTTTT OH MY GOODDDD HWTAT IIIII IIIII OHHHHH WHWTTATT WHATTT WHATTT HWAAATTTTT

THEY’RE ALL SO CUTE WHATT WHATATWYWHWHATTWHIW HEJHRHGGROHAAGRHAHHAOHU98439Y57845Y734Y567R. AALIEENEN SYTAGEGEGE??? ALIENNS STAGGGEGEEE???? WHHAYYA WHWOAOOAOAA WYHHESUIRFWUIH WHHAAAHHHHHHHH AGAGGGGHAHAH HAHAAA A AAAAAAAAA A A A A A A S. A. DHSKJHFDAJHFI REHUFE FOEWHSYT UR AMAIZING??? THEY;RENSP CUTE?? AA ASLGA HWOW DID YOU EVENXCOME UP WITH THIS BUT IM NOT MAD WHAHHRFIUHEAHUGH

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

hiiii!!! fuchsia, hot pink, rose and blossom for the pink ask game :]]] <33

hiiiii :333 loveee lvoe love pink teehee

fuchsia - describe your personality in three words: ooohhh shitttt errr. i would sayyyy. passionate bc i am like. when i like smth i am NEVER normal abt it i get very very very just in love with the things i do. errrr. idrk actually Huh tryna think of anything abt me and my mind just like resorts 2 teacher reports id get at like 8 bein like Shes a very bright and ambitious young girl who excels at learning or whatever the fuck. but im not that. i ammmm. number 1 passionate. number twooooo. fuckkkk idk. fuckinnnn silly. and number threeeeeeee issssss errr. Scared. all the time. yeppp.

hot pink— what’s your favorite relationship trope?: ok gooddd an easier one. i loveee it when there r two equally fucked up people who have gone through so much shit and create a comedy duo out of it and they also are in gay love as well. yeaaa. thats the shit. OR ALTERNATIVELY when theres one guy whos like. whattttt person B? hahha ive never even heaarrddddd of them whaaaatttttt i dont like them i dont know what ur talking about i dont secretly think of them all the time whattt theee fuckk. and then another guy whos like yeah id fuck person A. anyways i gotta go like. idk pick up my dog from the vet or like. kill a lizard monster. or smth. thats the shit.

rose—do you believe in soulmates? why or why not?: welllll vaguely i guess ? like i dont believe there was some sort of fate that led me to meet any of the people i met, just pure chance and proximity n shit. but like there r definitely people that fit together PERFECTLY. but then even then its like. i dont believe in soulmates in a sense of Oh i was always looking for you we are perfect together and will never say goodbye. but more in a way of. We are the world to each other and even though it is clear this will come crashing to an end the time we have together will be fucking awesome. like. yeah.

blossom—would you get a tattoo? if so, what would it be of?: OH MY GOD yes yes yes i would 100% and it would be a little kitty cat and id get a little kitty cat on my arm or smth and itd be a kitty cat and itd be adorable and a kitty cat. and maybe some others but mainly a Kitty Cat. i fucking LOVE cats so much ohhhh myyy godddd. yea.

[mayanell-wav]

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::

months ago i scheduled this single re-release for the start of Leo szn… tryna hack some confidence in there… Ha! The day came and i was feeling so......nonverbal.....

anyways If uvealready listened or shared with folks from when I released it last spring truly truly thank you. I’m…really shy about putting stuff out there!!! & trying to get over the crippling and psychotic emotions that come with being 👁️ perceived ——

{{ speaking of WHICH, sending a special s/o, ily, & good DAY to my fellow ♌️🌘 leo moon babies this szn & retrogrades 🫀🫂,, because… ifyk? Yfk 😭}} july/august 2023 have not been a joke in the slightest

~~~

below::: here is a a longer shit-post that nbdyyy asked for on my feelings when paying!!! to distribute a piece of my actual life blood (this song) to vampiric entities!!! for the sake of ‘’’’exposure’’’ (???)

... ????

the tldr; is fuck these fucking busted raggedy raggedy ugly ass raggedy ass streaming sites their execs can literally all choke

——————

aforementioned - ((longershit-postthatnbdyyy asked for)) ::

a few months ago I set up this single to distribute to streaming sites 072223 and whoops that shit really came around the corner QUICK

Kind of on principle (as well as because I am generally floundering) I do not work to push or ‘promote’ my music because, actually, whattt the fuck… wtfff is all that about !

I hate how social media sites r enabling consumptive media habits, i fkn hate streamers and their pestilent business practices, I hate these busted ass relics of an industrialized music scene and what it takes to get music out there. u want it to reach the people who could benefit emotionally, spiritually, artistically, from whatever shit u went through, u made this music to help ur self or because it was fun and truly believe in the connective and healing power of sound wavs, communion, sharing, listening

But these…. These fucking MIDDLe men ? These shrimp dick fucking middle men?

Whattttt is that all aboutttttttt

It’s gross and busted that artists have to pay to distribute their music with chump change in return, lining the pockets of weirdo record and tech companies

I really would rather give these silly little audio files away for free so that’s exactly what im gonna do

Anything I put out that is available on streamers is gonna be available free to listen to on soundcloud or free to download on non-expiring we transfer links bc literally EWWWW at these Fucking Middle Men!!!! Choke!!

Am also reflecting on like, what the fucking purpose of these streaming sites should be. Considering the ecological costs of that whole set up, nothing should live there permanently, we should not be listening to music online with such reckless abandon. The sites are helpful for research, and accessing a wide array of new and broad material in an accessible format. But for active / repeat listening? Truly truly what the fuck.

Still thinking what more conscious interaction with streaming distribution could look like. Considering rotating what projects or songs are actually accessible at any given time. Considering going on a real campaign to get folks to commit to scamming them through only utilizing family plans. Thinking about un-saving // off-loading the data I have stored on there so they can’t keep doing research on my habits. Thinking about coordinating boycotts from these subscriptions and going full slut *nd*rgrnd m*rk*t for analog/private server art & ed- media

It’s hard to think through and especially so on an individual level. The Music industry has been dying and honestly it probably needs/deserves to die. We need our art back, and the spiritual value of creating our own worlds, the local economic value of making emotions and rooms and communities and worlds move, through and onward from the exploitative industrialization of our practices.

My understanding of the whole entertainment industrial complex is that it rests on the back of exploited black women/gnc folks. Constantly thinking about the lives of popular singers in the south, essentially held captive and milked on tour circuits. It’s hard to ignore when looking at the way this shit is now set up, dependent on the exploitation of artists.

Musicians hawking their wares in hopes of clout and deals and the opportunity for more shows and more fans, and it makes me wonder what the point is, what the music is lulling us towards in and under these conditions

Its late and im overthinking again

and often eye wonder if we’ll ever be able to parce out the subtle differences between performance and performativity

[darthe1-12]

WHATTT I LOVE THIS

Crowley be like: WHATTTTT

"🤨"

[readlikereblogrepeat]

I’m going insane??? This convo I had with a coworker just now is making my brain scratch its way up the walls???

“You should get married soon and have a baby”

what

“You should have babies soon”

whattt

“You don’t want to know why”

pretty sure i do??

“you go past a public school of like 600 and they’re all indian kids”

what

“you know Indians are the biggest population in the world right? So white people are becoming a minority”

whattttt

“You’re doing great work here but I would be even prouder of you if you settled down with someone great for you— don’t settle for someone who treats you wrong and won’t help with the kids— but I would be soooo happy if you got married. I cross my fingers everyday that this will happen for you”

???????????

this shit is funny and weird and offensive maybe but mostly funny and upside down???

[ellitea]

dream AND ranboo talking abt face revealing. i am spontaneously combusting

[just-some-random-blogger]

The grand ballroom was alive with the shimmering glow of chandeliers, an ethereal scene that provided a backdrop for the most prestigious awards ceremony of the year.

you didnt have to go that hard from the getgo HAHAHAHAHA <3 LOVEEEEEEE

Pedro's fingers tapped rhythmically against his thigh as he waited for the inevitable moment.

real what a pedro thing

And then, there you were - radiant as ever in a gown that shimmered like stardust, hair cascading down your back. A small part of him felt relieved that you didn’t appear with your new rumoured beau, but had taken your brother as your plus one instead. 

AwwwWWWWWW SAUCYYYYY 🤪😩 RUMORED BEAUUUUU

Your eyes met briefly, a connection that carried years of memories and emotions, before you turned away, gaze drifting toward the stage.

Pedro's heart raced, and he fumbled with his cufflinks, trying to mask his turmoil with a composed facade.

:asfhahsfASLASHFHAS OH HE NERVOUS NERVOUS UGH WAIT IM SO READY TO SEE WHERE THIS IS GOIN WHERE YOU GOING FAM UGHHHHHHHH HEYYYY DADDDY HOW ARE YOU

“How is it we’re talking about the fucking weather when I know what you look like at 2am when you’re too anxious to sleep?” Pedro thought to himself silently. 

broooooOOOO HE JUST WHATTTTT

"You look absolutely stunning tonight," Pedro ventured instead, his voice carrying a note of wistfulness.

YOOOOO WHATTTTTTTTTTTT NAURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

A soft smile tugged at the corner of your lips. "Thank you. You look handsome as always. And God I can’t believe I forgot to say this already but congrats on everything. You’ve been in some amazing stuff lately.” 

WAIT WHY AM I TWIRLING MY HAIR KINDA MMM ITS STARTING TO HURT HEY UH WHAT?

He chuckled softly, his gaze fixed intently on you. "Thank you. So have you,” he replied but he was finding it hard to produce words in his mouth when all he kept thinking about was that you had been keeping up with his projects and had seen his shows. He wondered if you liked them. He wondered if you were proud of him. 

MMMMMM FUCK. WOW. MMM FUCK. THAT SO QUALITY ANGST i wanna break downs the exact one i like but its ALL so good shit fuck

Pedro's name was called, and he graciously accepted the award, his gaze briefly locking with yours as he did.

NOOOO HE DID NOTTTT ✋✋✋💀💀💀 BESTIE WHO'S GONNA TELL HIMMMMM YOOOOO WHATTTTTTTT

MAN DOES NOT KNOW HOW TWITTER WORKSSS THEY WILL FEAST ON THESE CRUMBS FOREEEEVVVVVEEERRR FOR LIFERSSS FUCKKKKKK MEEEE WHATTT

But he knows he shouldn’t, so he turns to his sister instead before making his way on the stage

im so proud of you for not doing that. you really rubbed your 2 brain cells together. ALSO?????? ARE THEY JUST LIKE SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHHERRRR???? FOR WHAT???????????????????? 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 THATS SO SUS SHIT RIGHT THERE SUSSSS also if not imagine pedro SPRINTINGG 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️💨💨💨 for a hug ✋✋✋✋✋✋ ARE YOU NOT EMBARRAZZZEDDDD??????

"Can I be honest? This.. sucks. I don’t know how to make small talk with you anymore.” 

oooh oOOOH thats got a little kick to it

Pedro nodded, a shared understanding passing between the both of you. "I know. I don’t either.” 

ig they are just sitting next to each other

Yet, an unexpected thought bubbled to the surface of his mind: "I get to see her. At least once a year, I get to see her."

[...] Pedro felt a genuine admiration for you—a reminder of how far you both had come and how he’d never stop rooting for you.

awwwwww

[...] it was a canvas upon which your shared journey would continue to unfold, inspiring him to strive for greatness and to keep crossing paths with the woman who had once captured his heart. He would settle for watching your life through pictures and screens if it meant he could have this moment with you - once a year.

my love this was a true treat. you have such a way with words. like i love the way you describe things <3 and i know this is supposed to be angsty but 💕💕💕💕 its very lovely for me <3 <3 yeah it kinda hurts but like theyre both lovely and i wish them both the best in live i love them 10/10

Just Once a Year / Pedro Pascal x Reader

The grand ballroom was alive with the shimmering glow of chandeliers, an ethereal scene that provided a backdrop for the most prestigious awards ceremony of the year. This was the first time Pedro was being nominated and he was nominated for not 1, not 2, but 3 awards. As a first timer, he has broken records for this achievement - and yet what should be a night pure of celebration and joy for him is tinged with sorrow. 

He found himself seated in a sea of Hollywood's elite, his heart a complex interplay of anticipation and trepidation. The vacant chair beside him was a stark reminder of the impending arrival of his ex-girlfriend.

Pedro's fingers tapped rhythmically against his thigh as he waited for the inevitable moment. He stole glances at the entrance, his chest tightening with each passing second. And then, there you were - radiant as ever in a gown that shimmered like stardust, hair cascading down your back. A small part of him felt relieved that you didn’t appear with your new rumoured beau, but had taken your brother as your plus one instead. 

Your eyes met briefly, a connection that carried years of memories and emotions, before you turned away, gaze drifting toward the stage. Pedro's heart raced, and he fumbled with his cufflinks, trying to mask his turmoil with a composed facade.

"Hey Pedro," your voice, warm but cautious, pulled him from his thoughts. "It's been a while."

Pedro's lips curved into a polite smile, one that concealed the storm of emotions raging within him. "Yeah, quite a while."

As the awards ceremony unfolded, a symphony of applause and cheers filled the air, a stark contrast to the uneasy silence that hung between Pedro and you. You exchanged pleasantries about the weather, your recent projects, and the industry's ever-shifting landscape, all while the ghosts of your shared past danced beneath your words. 

“How is it we’re talking about the fucking weather when I know what you look like at 2am when you’re too anxious to sleep?” Pedro thought to himself silently. 

"You look absolutely stunning tonight," Pedro ventured instead, his voice carrying a note of wistfulness.

A soft smile tugged at the corner of your lips. "Thank you. You look handsome as always. And God I can’t believe I forgot to say this already but congrats on everything. You’ve been in some amazing stuff lately.” 

He chuckled softly, his gaze fixed intently on you. "Thank you. So have you,” he replied but he was finding it hard to produce words in his mouth when all he kept thinking about was that you had been keeping up with his projects and had seen his shows. He wondered if you liked them. He wondered if you were proud of him. 

The nominees for each category were announced, and the room brimmed with palpable tension. Pedro's name was called, and he graciously accepted the award, his gaze briefly locking with yours as he did. The applause that followed felt distant, as though they were enveloped in a world of their own making. He didn’t know if it was appropriate to hug you before he went to get his award, although he dreamt of this moment his whole life. For you to be the first one he embraced when he finally made a name for himself - it’s all he’s ever wanted. But he knows he shouldn’t, so he turns to his sister instead before making his way on the stage. 

When he returns you give him a polite congratulations and the show goes on. In a momentary lull between awards, you turned to Pedro, a soft sigh escaping you. "Can I be honest? This.. sucks. I don’t know how to make small talk with you anymore.” 

Pedro nodded, a shared understanding passing between the both of you. "I know. I don’t either.” 

As the ceremony neared its conclusion, Pedro found himself stealing glances at you. There was something different about you—an air of newfound confidence, a sense of independence that he hadn't seen before. Pride mingled with a touch of melancholy as he realized that both of you had evolved since your tumultuous breakup.

Just before the event drew to a close, you leaned closer to Pedro, your voice a soft whisper in the cacophony of the room. "Congratulations on your award, Pedro. You truly deserve it. More than anyone else in this room."

"Thank you," he replied, his voice holding a tenderness that belied the complexity of the situation.

As you stood to leave, you turned to him, your eyes holding a mosaic of emotions and words left unsaid. "Take care, Pedro."

"You too, sweetheart," he responded, his voice a gentle murmur.

Walking away from each other felt like a symphony of unfinished sentences and unspoken feelings. Pedro couldn't help but feel a pang of nostalgia, of the love you once shared and the heartache that followed. Yet, an unexpected thought bubbled to the surface of his mind: "I get to see her. At least once a year, I get to see her." It was a sentiment that resonated deeply within him, a small solace that fueled his determination to excel in his craft, to secure nominations, and to continue crossing paths with you in these fleeting moments. You were a brilliant actress and he had no doubt you’d continue climbing your way to the top. He wanted to be there when you did. Even if he didn’t get to be by your side when you did, he’d settle for being in the same room.

As he exited the grand ballroom, Pedro cast a final glance back at you, who stood amidst a constellation of fellow actors and industry luminaries. A surge of pride swelled within him as he watched you shine, your accomplishments standing as a testament to your talent and resilience. In that moment, despite the awkwardness and pain that had punctuated your encounter, Pedro felt a genuine admiration for you—a reminder of how far you both had come and how he’d never stop rooting for you.

He walked away with a heart brimming with emotions, knowing that the annual awards ceremony had become more than just a gathering of stars for him—it was a canvas upon which your shared journey would continue to unfold, inspiring him to strive for greatness and to keep crossing paths with the woman who had once captured his heart. He would settle for watching your life through pictures and screens if it meant he could have this moment with you - once a year.

-

Dedicated to my babycakes: @just-some-random-blogger who co-erced me into writing <3

[tomdiddlyumptious]

YES MA’AM- REQUESTS ARENT OPEN AT THE MOMENT I HAVE SOME TO FINISH AND ILL OPEN THEM BACK UP!

Summary: he makes it up 🥸

Warnings: soft smut? Language, acting drunk to leave, a jealous Tom holland, NOT PROOF READ

A/n: SORRY THIS TOOK ME SOOO LONG, I WAS LIKE MENTALLY PANICING AND WASNT IN THE RIGHT HEAD SPACE

T.H| Oop-

“I mean am I sleeping over though? Because I didn’t get these chocolate cakes for no reason, zendaya” you eye your phone. “Yes we will have a marathon of Harry Potter” you let out a little ‘yes’ “stop cheering y/n, and Toms gonna be there” “as in...” “yes. Tom holland, impossible tom holland” “REEEEE” you and zendaya have been best friends for what felt like foreverrr, like dramatically long, you played as one of her love interests.

But you’ve had a crush on Tom holland for longer, you had him on your wall, just kidding. But everyone in your family, mostly your mom said “oh you like snow flakes?” “Interracialllllll” “alright give me my privileged babies soon” “damn I kinda took you for the Asian type” “yeah I thought you liked BTS” “UK accents is hella annoyin, find someone else” “would you stop hoggin the TV? I’m tryna watch American Top Model!” “Nah let’s watch basesketball-“ anyways, ya you have annoying, irritating family, oh well.

“You think he likes dark skinned type?” “He likes girls with aggressive tans I know that much” “that isn’t helpful” “hey I’m just being honest” she shrugged looking at you through the phone as she picked up her makeup brush. “So what are gonna do for your birthday?” “I-uhhhh probably clubbing?” “As in golf?” “No, party y/n” she glared at you as you chuckled.

“Please ask hunter when we are getting married” “y/n, I know you have an insane crush on her to but it’s just never gonna happen, she’s mine” you stuck out your tongue at her as she did the same chanting “she’s mine, she’s mine” “whatever I need to get ready” “bye papas” “bye mamas” you hung up, instantly going to your closet and pulling out the dresses you have, only to put them back and grab a two piece, it’s neon yellow, the pants are high waisted, no belt, the top stopping right below your boob, the straps at the end of your collar bone.

For accessories you put on some black dangle earrings and a black purse, a gold but matching watch, but you put on sandals, no high heels because the pants were covering your feet anyways, for your hair you put on your wet and wavy lace front, you added lip gloss to your lips, and they look like glass, in a good way of course, the fox eyeliner with thick parted eyelashes and a neon eyeshadow with it. You brushed your eyebrows up and boom your done.

You stepped back and went to your full body mirror, checking your butt and your boobs, smiling at yourself “you look fine” you sigh, grabbing your bag, phone, and keys.

You phone rung and you answered. “Yes z?” “Are you picking me up?” “Yeah sure babe, I’ll be there soon” “alright bye” she hung up. Luckily for you, you just got your 1966 mustang, vibrant white baby, everyone would wanna touch your car, you named him KAI, stands for kiss ass ight. The License plate saying “white ssn”. (I’m sorry but I really like these old kinds of cars, I fucking had to) you hoped in your car and drove to dayas home, you picked her and her brother up, just listening to old 2000’s and 1900s songs, either rapping or singing your asses off.

You guys were there pretty early but of course you were, it’s her birthday, she didn’t want to dance yet because of her makeup and you felt the same, leaving her brother smacking his lips and eyes glued to his phone.

Now everyone was starting to come, hunter, Jacob, alexia, Barbie, everyone, and most importantly, Thomas Stanley holland. No cap you bout dead as fuck, did I mention you run on Red Bull’s? Just kidding. You remained calm, hugging hunter and talking to her. “Hey” zendaya said, grabbing your hand and pulling you up, pulling you to Tom. “Hi Thomas, this is y/n” “the one and only?” He laughed, making you both giggle. “Yeah” she nodded, Tom got up, opening his arms and she pinched you, silently telling you to hug him. And you did, taking a breath you smelled him, he smelled really good, sexy and musky, like something you’d want to smell all day.

“You smell nice” Tom whispered. “Yeah you too” you smiled, pulling back from his hands as he nodded at you and sat back down, you looked and zendaya as she silently cheered, you walked back over to hunter and ordered something to drink. “So you and Tom?” She asked, you only rolled your eyes. “You know I’ve had a crush on him for years now but I don’t think I’ll be making any progress” you thanked the person as they handed you the cheerily temple. “Whattt? This is your chance to get drunk and confess your feelings, like wake up in the morning with him” you smacked your lips at her “girl I don’t know, and I wouldn’t want him to forget what happend” you shrugged. She put her hand on your shoulder making you look at her “take a shot, before zendaya pressures the fuck out of you both” she warns, making you sigh and throw yourself back in the seat.

“I know and that’s the problem, I don’t think-“ “you’ve had a crush in him for years y/n, you can make this a reality, you don’t have to dream anymore” zendaya whispered in your ear “I told you” hunter smiled. “Fuck stop smiling at me like that, you’re gonna make me fall in love all over again” you said making them both laugh. “Okay Cupid what’s your plan?” “Don’t worry bout it alright girl?” “Alright”

“Harrison fuck off it’ll happen when it happens” “well it seems like she’s bored, I’ll go entertain her” “don’t you fuckin dare haz, I’ll beat the shit out of you” instead of haz getting up Harry did, he walked over to you and sat down next to you, the lights and music booming as he took out his camera. “Hey” he smiled at you. “Hi, I’m-“ “y/n, yeah I know, I’m Toms brother, Harry” he held out his hand and you took it. “I thought you looked really beautiful- I was just wondering if you wanted to take a few pictures?” “Oh I’m not the picture type” “pleaseee?” He beggged, you giggled and nodded. “Alright” he took a few pictures of you as Tom stared at you.

“He’s tottaly gonna get instead of you” Harrison whispered in his ear, making Thomas slap his arm “shut up div, I’m just gonna wait here and I’ll see what happens” he told haz his game plan, no progress. Zendaya walked over “I know you like y/n, please hit on her, you both would look so good together, you’d bring me smoll Bebes-“ “Jesus zendaya we get it” Tom rolls his eyes as haz lets out distant chuckles.

“This is so awkward, he doesn’t like me and-“ you sighed. “Oh my god, you never give up so easily y/n, what’s wrong you’ve liked him since preteens” hunter asked in all seriousness. “Are you talking about Tom?” Harry asks, both of you looking at him and letting out a way to fast “no” leaving Harry in giggles. “Well I wish I could help you but I don’t know anything” he shrugs, you soon see Tom make his way over to you, standing infront of you. He clears his throat to say something big but only lets out an-

“Hey” you wave back at him, hunter silently cringing, feeling the tension able to cut it with a butter knife. “Your so fücked” Harry laughed, Tom glaring at him but smiling back at you. “Uhm, how’s your day?” “To be honest I’m having a bit of anxiety right know” you both laughed “me too, yeah” he nods his head. “Look you don’t have to really speak to me if you don’t want to” you laughed “I think we both know-“ “zendaya” you both said. Hunter looked at Harry, panicking for you as you remained calm. “Okay- yeah- thanks” he smiled, as you returned, he walked off.

“You fucked up” “well what was I supposed to do Harry? Suck his dick?-“ “it would’ve made some progress” “shut up hunter” “I feel awkward for you” “second hand emarrassment hunter” “well you knew what I meant Harry so we are all good” you looked at them both “I’m fucked” they just both agree with you. “I think I’m gonna go” “then I’m coming!” Hunter said. “How are you gonna leave zendaya?” You only picked up his beer can, winking at him and hunter ‘helped’ you out.

“Woah woah woah where are you two going?” Zendaya asked, the shit in her hand as she looked confused. “She’s drunk” “whattttt no I’m nottt” zendaya looked at you as your eyes were barely opened, taking your finger and pushing it against hunters lips dramatically. “Let me tell yaa E sevret” you whispered at zendaya, you came close to her ear, “I’m so naw dunk” “you drunk, get out of here, Tom will give me a ride” zendaya waved you both off, Harry soon running up “let me get your number at least, yeah?” “Sureeeee” you wink at him, he hands you a pen and you write your number, a nice happy face next to it.

“Let’s get you home, nice show you out on” you took your time, trying to look drunk as possible. “My whole life is madness! I can’t- he doesn’t like me I promise you” you say, pulling out of the parking lot, hunter right next to you. “He does, let’s bet on it” “how much?” “200” “shake on it?” She handed you her hand and you shook it. “SOMETIMES YOU LAUGH SOMETIMES YOU CRY I GUESS YOU KNOW NOWWW, I TOOK THE HALF AND SHE TOOK THE WHOLE THING SLOW DOWNN” you both sung together “BABY” you both both failed the note, laughing together as you rode both of you home.

“She left” zendaya shruged, “what why?” “Shes black out drunk” Tom put his eyebrows together, he was litterally with you like a couple minutes ago, sober as hell. “Yeah... alright” he nodded, Harry took out his phone and sent you a simple hey, which you returned under a minute later.

Everyone had a lot of fun, you and hunter ordering some random stuff off of Amazon and making the cake that you would both send to zendaya the next day, on the other side everyone danced and drank, they were sober enough to go eat at least. “Who are you texting?” Tom asked Harry. “Y/n, she’s showing me the things that she’s ordering or something like that, I wonder why she’s a Harry Potter addict” toms jaw slightly clenched, “can I see?” He asked, Harry looked at him, forgetting that you’re supposed to be ‘drunk’ “Nah mate, she’s drunk texting me though” “bulshit, give me the phone” Harry sighed as he gave tom the phone, scrolling through the text messages the messages were alive, not dead at all, no lols, laughing emojis, more ‘lmao’ ‘AKDIHDIHFRJRFN-‘ ‘I- what? Okay-�� he couldn’t help but be jealous, he handed Harry back the phone.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, looking at Tom confused. “You know I like her” “it didn’t seem like it back there” Harry smirked. “Do you like her?” Tom asked, Harry only shook his head “all for you, just making conversation and trying to pull her closer” “whattt Harry got the digits and you didn’t?” Haz whispered, “fuck off”

“But this is like, really ugly” “that’s why it’s called an ugly Christmas sweater, y/n” you layer on her arm, looking at Kohl’s, “green for sure, red is just plain” “how about we get like onzies of animals or the incredibles” hunter looked at you “perfect, yeah” you nod ferociously.

You checked your phone and saw some messages, from you dad and you mom but also Harry, you were quick to answer them all, and as the night got old you had finished the cake.

“I don’t know mate do some research on her, watch her interviews” haz suggests as they were all home, Tom mentally panicking because Harry’s eyes was glued to his phone, he whipped out his computer and searched your name, ‘Y/N has a CRUSH on who?’ He bit his lip and clicked it

“Sooo, we know your the romantic type- so who were you in love with?” The interviewer said, you smiled and shook your head. “I’ve always had a crush on Evan peters, algee smith from let it shine, Keith powers, and of course Tom holland, I don’t know but just in all his movies he was the cutest thing” you giggled, putting a leg over the other. “That’s a lot of people” “hey, I only crush on one now, and yes it’s Tom holland” the girl raised her eyebrows at the camera “you make sure you hit her up” “please do” you wink at the camera, “now, you feel sexy most when?” “Probably when I take a shower and put on my silk robe” you shrugged.

“Silk? Sexy” Tom smiled to himself, imagining you in it, maybe a towel over your freshly washed hair, lingerie under, maybe a mustard yellow to match your skin, his eyes widened in shock as he felt uncomfterble in his pants, he looked down at his pants “fuck, not now!”

“Are you really crying?” Hunter asked. “No I’m having an emotional roller coaster” “so your feeling different emotions, your so bipolar” hunter laughs, “your not helping you know” she only shrugged at you, then the door was knocked on “I’ll go get it” “alright” you acted sleep, thinking that it was probably zendaya and... you were right. “Hey is she sleep?” She asked, hugging hunter. “yeah, but come in- she’s on the couch” hunter smiled, hearing zendayas foot steps and she giggled “she’s sober by now” she bent down, wiggling your ear and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Hiiiii” she waved at you, you only waved back, then she laid down next to you, her glasses on and in her sweatpants and a black t-shirt. “So you and Tom didn’t work huh?” She whispered and you only shook your head no, a tear fell down your cheek as she coed at you, wiping it away. “He’s stupid, he will come around one day yeah?” You nodded at her, “did you make the cake?” She asked and you nodded again. “Let me show you, come here” hunter said, she looked at you, you looked pretty lifeless at the moment honestly. Hunter and zendaya left and you checked your phone.

Ding

Your eyebrows furrowed at the anonymous message. You opened it and it said-

Hey it’s Tom, I was wondering if you’d like to get lunch yeah?

You texted him back-

As In... Tom holland orrrr...

Tom smiled at his phone

Yes y/n, Tom holland here, take it while you can

Cocky asshat

He laughed at your reply sending winking emojis,

Yeah lunch, I’ll see what I can do

Cya love

Bye luv

As time passed Tom looked at your work, your charity events, your women’s rights, your debates, your everything. He grew more interest then he already did, already wishing to work with you. “Hamburgers? What if she’s vegan, fuck” he only searched up what food you like, “burrito truck?” He could tell you weren’t like the other people with loaded of money, you were more of the cheap rich, not a bad thing but a very good one. “Sparkling water? That doesn’t really go with burritos, she doesn’t like cheese by it’s self or where you can taste it over anything, she sticks to the basics, god I need a pen and paper for this” “I got it, lover boy” Harry says, throwing it at him.

“Hey your the one who’s trying to take her away from me” “no that’s not true, I was trying to help you actually, her favorite color is (y/f/c) she likes nature or a big view of the city, beach sometimes, she actually wants a beach house” he shrugged, Tom smiled and thanked him, writing some things down

-nature, somewhere green for lunch

-quiet too, somewhere not to public

-sparkling water for sure, no burritos though

“Shit I don’t know, chicken or something!” Tom struggled.

-fruits, nuts, macoroons, nuts, wine

He smiled at the ugly written bullet points, “aha” he then took his phone, biting his lips as he tried to find the perfect place.

“He asked me to lunch last night” you smiled, hunter and zendaya looked at each other, mouths agape as they laughed. “Really? Oh my god y/n can I be the god mom?” “Oh I’ll be the god dad all the way!” Hunter added as you laughed and shook your head, you’ve been on a Harry Potter marathon all night, now your on a Star Wars one, so many tears fell of your face, you cried for draco, zendaya cried for George and Fred, hunter cheered on voldermort, which almost got her kicked out, how petty.

“What if it’s only lunch?” You asked, looking at hunter and zendaya. “I mean, yeah it is only lunch” hunter shrugged making zendaya slap her arm. “No it isn’t, you are probably gonna get laid and he’s gonna confess his love to youuu, then you both naked and kissing” “ew don’t make me imagine that” hunter shuddered, sticking out her tongue. “Welp we are staying here when you leave” “how do you know I won’t be back?” “Because I know things”

Tom spent his day visiting places, until he found the perfect one, green and the ocean? Best thing ever. It was pretty too, no plastic, no damage to the ground, the ocean is to be heard, perfect for you and Tom. He texted you to get ready, it was about 6, he bought everything he needed for it, put the ice cream in the cooler with ice in it.

“Alright, this one” hunter held up a dress, a small slit but it was a sweater dress, like for the fall or winter, it’s white with brown buttons that go down to the end of your stomach, the dress stops in the middle of your thighs. “Then wear some comfterble shoes please, we don’t want you to run your toes” zendaya said, pulling out some neon yellow huaraches. “That doesn’t match” hunter said, zendaya put the shoes back and pulled out some dark dark black ones.

You got dressed, comfterble for sure, zendaya flat ironed your hair while hunter did your makeup, “alright” zendaya and hunter admired their art, high giving each other before turning you to the mirror, “don’t worry it’s sweat resistant” hunter said, zendaya laughed as you rolled your eyes shaking your head. Then of course their was a knock on your door. “I’ll get it” zendaya said, you went to your room and grabbed your phone, noticing you have no pockets you held it. “Keep your hands off of my girlfriend, have fun though!” Zendaya said, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you came out and seen everyone smiling at you

“What happened?” You asked as everyone shook their head. “Nothing!” Hunter said smiling at you, Tom came up and gave you flowers, not roses but daises “you look lovely” he says, giving you a hug, chest to chest, pelvis to pelvis, not in a Percy way of course, just a very friendly and close hug. “Can you put these in a vase for me?” You say, handing the flowers to hunter as she only smiled and made her way to the kitchen. “Have fun, once again, we want her back by 10” “that’s only 4 hours zendaya” “we’ll make your way over there, it’s starting to become late” “alright mother, we’re out” you sarcastically say, leaving Tom laughing as he takes your hand and pulls you to his-

“El Camino!?” You said, practicly smiling a a child when they get ice cream. “Yep, I know how much you like old cars so why not get you one right?” He squeezed your hand. “Oh I could so kiss you right now!” “I wanna save it for later, let’s go” he smiled at you, he pulled you to your seat and opened the door for you, you sat down and he closed it, running to his side and getting in. “Your pretty fast” “shut up” he laughed and started the car, Kendrick Lamar playing in the background as you both rode in the city.

It was silent but comfterble, you slipped your phone in the cup holder, played footsie with yourself, and almost shook when he placed his hand on your thigh, you looked at him and he smiled at you “warm” he only said, paying attention to the road, rocking his hand back and forth.

“I love this, you gave me all the things I love tonight” you smiled. “You now at the birthday party I didn’t show that I liked you” he commented, laying in his stomach ontop of the very large blanket as you sat with your legs closed. “Yeah I don’t think you like me... I know if it’s weird and-“ “what no I like you! I do! I’m just stupid, like zendaya would say, so” you both giggled as he sat up and grabbed a grape vine, it has grapes on it by the way. “Lay down” he smiled, and you followed, laying down. “I’ve seen all the work you’ve done” he smiled, the radio in the band Toto playing, Africa currently playing. He leaned down the grape and feed it to you and you chuckled. “I really like how dedicated you are, how hard working you are, how nice you are, everything about you is beautiful” he complemented, the moon popping out for the ocean, the sounds of water slapping the rocks calming the both of you.

“Well thank you” you say, done with the grapes he fed you, he fed you some more. “I bought ice cream” “what kind?” “Uhmmmm, not vanilla, cookies and cream!” “Doesn’t that have vanilla in it?” You looked at him, he shrugged and put the grapes down and took the ice cream out of the freezer “I didn’t know you were such a 80s fan, what would you bring back?” He asked you. “Probably all the color, the music, I love mullets and shags I just love it all, how everything was in fashion, freedom and dumb teenagers and yelling old people, ya know?” “So your a very detailed person?” “Yeah, I don’t pay attention to the big picture that much if I’m being honest” ‘it never rains in Southern California, by tony’ playing, now the moon full on display, he grabbed two spoons and handed it to you, you both grabbed a scoop. “Let’s try something”

“Like what?” “Cross my arm with yours yeah?” You wrapped your arm around his, your spoon facing you “and 3” he said, taking the ice cream in his mouth as you followed, giggling “I like the flavor” you covered your mouth. “See! I knew what I was talking about, and doing!” He cheered, you both laid side by side and looked at the view, still eating the ice cream of course, until he put his lips on yours. “I really like you y/n, I hope-“ you put your lips on his, holding onto his cheek you smiled into it, he made his hand go down to hold onto your waist, the moon shining on both of you, he flipped both of you over so he was on top, you let out a quiet moan as he kissed your neck and slipped up you dress, taking off your panties, you trailed your hands down to the hem of his shirt and pulled it up, rubbing over his torso, moaning as he found your sweet spot, kissing it and sucking harsh circles on your neck, he sat up and helped you take of his shirt, unbuckling his pants and taking off the belt to where ever.

He unbuttoned your dress, taking out your breasts and sucking on one of them, you whimpered as he twisted the other, your hands making it to his hair and tugging a bit making him hum in satisfaction. He switched nipples and looked up at you, you head was thrown back, breathing heavy and he opened your legs, you bucked your hips up allowed him to pull your dress up and over your head, he ditched his pants, well not really, there still around his ankles and both of your shoes are off, how? I don’t know. He came up and you leaned on your arm while the other was on his cheek, your lips hovering his, he muttered a ‘ready’ you nodded and he bottomed out in you, both moaning at the sensation, he kissed you and rocked his hips, you moaned as his hands found your waist, holding onto his bicep for support. Soft moans shared “y/n, fuck your so tight” he whispered in your neck and you whimpered, clawing his arm as he went harder, still slow though,

“Tommy, I’m gonna-“ you swallowed, bucking your hips up and arching your back, he rubbed your hips and held on tighter to them. He groaned and started going fast, high pitched moans leaving your lips as he stopped going hard, “cum for me” he let one hip go and rubbed your pearl slowly. “God- mm” you bit your lip trapping the moans, your head tilting back as he used it to suck more hickies on you, claiming you as you just took it all in, your head slowly starting coming up, leaving cries as your arm circled his around his arm, your back arching more, connecting chests as you said his name like a prayer while you came “fuck fuck fuck” he moaned, so close, your walls to warm to leave. “You on the pill?” He choked out. You repeated ‘mhm’ and just like that he came inside you, your name left his mouth as he rode out both of your highs, breathing heavy as a new song played ‘ask of you’ by Raphael, you both chuckled as he pressed his forehead on yours.

“Would you be my-“ “I think you know the answer Thomas, this is my 12 dream right here” you giggled. He pulled out and rolled over next to you, taking his arm and wrapping it around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest “your moans are adorable, we have to have sex more often” you only laughed at him, coming up to kiss his neck on his sweet spot, his jawline under his ear, sucking hickies on his neck as he looked at the water that the moon is glistening on. You both cleaned up with his baby wipes and covered yourselves with the extra blanket he had, he poured you both a glass on wine too, just taking each other in and the perfect view.

On the other side zendaya and hunter were high giving each other, FaceTiming Harry and saying “we got em!” He smiled and cheered, lifting his beer with Harrison and taking a sip. They set it all up, how? Who knows.

[marvel-to-infinity]

Starwars: Rise Of The Skywalker Thoughts

Contains Spoilers, Duh.

Okay, so like, I’m a major fan of every single movie in this franchise. So like, I was super excited. I went into this with basiclly no spoilers, and I didn’t know what to expect. So I was so happy that I got to see it.

Alright, so imma say this now, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo has been my favorite character, since I was like 10 okay, like I had this boi as my lock screen for a good two years, and I have a place mat of him in my house, like I was in love with this charecter (still am) since I was a fetus starwars fan.

I have also been shipping Reylo since I discovered the wonderful world of starwars tumblr. So I went into this movie, not thinking my ship was going to happen, WELP. IT HAPPENED, and let me tell you, I HAVE NEVER SMILED TO BIG AT A MOIVE. And then... HE DIED?!?!? LIKE I WENT FROM SMILING THINKING THEY WHERE ABOUT TO HAVE SOME ADORABLE KIDS TOGETHER TO SOBBING OVER MY FICTONAL HUSBAND. LIKE WHATTTTT? I GOT MY SHIP FOR A GOOD .5 SECONDS, AND THEN IT JUST SUNK. LIKE THE JOY ON HIS FACE AFTER THEY KISS WAS SO ADORABLE, AND THEN WE REALIZE HE NEVER GETS TO DO IT AGAIN. LIKE WHATTT.😭😭😭😭😭😭 so to say, I’m still expresso deresspo after that.

Okay now into the rest of the movie. I loved that they basiclly had all the nostiolga come back, it was so cool seeing all the characters come back for one final time, including the ewoks and the porgs. I’m so glad that Finn and Poe had a bigger part in this movie as well, while they did have supporting character parts in the last two movies, I just felt like they where showcased more in this movie. I also loved that they added in more new charecters to deepen the plot even more, and I think that was very creative on there part.

OKAY. THIS GOT ME SALTY. WHOS IDEA WAS IT, TO BRING PALPETINE BACK? LIKE WHOOOO? I WAS IN THE THEATRE LIKE “aw sh*t it’s this dudeee again”

But he did add to the plot, so it’s okay. I guess.

Overall this is one of my favorite Star Wars movies. And one I will cry at everytime. But I really liked it, and I would totally watch it again!

Now I’m going to go read some reylo headcannons cause my heart hurts.

[deathbycaptainswan]

See i was excited but now i see people saying emma is missing and im like whattt wait no whattttt i didnt ask for thiss what is going on....im panicking

[fanficparker]

So let me start by saying that I don't have even the tiniest knowledge about the GOT universe but I know for a fact that @lost-aesthetic-of-past aka Anya the greatest wizard is blessed with the magical arts to bless my soul and rip my heart with these 4.9k words (holy shit!) so lmao lemme just dive into this—

(Also this is dedicated to me...? Me? Me? I--- feel grateful for being found deserving of this very honour, your majesty, the most powerful sorcerer of our kingdom. 🙇)

Okay first of all the writing style. Damn, I was hooked right from the first line. The way you described the surroundings, and the people from Harrison's point of you. I am so freaking mesmerized!!!

The language! I really again don't know anything about GOT but this just soothes me so much... Like the simplicity of contemporary but the elegance of archaic. As if I am not actually reading it but the words are been whispered into my ears. *shivers*

OMG, she's been chosen for his brother & they are secret lovers & for some reason, my heart is jumping from worry. *biting nails nervously*

Also, why isn't he responding to her question?? 🥺🥺🥺 When will they stop meeting in public? The way he dodges the question, genuinely made me so sad 😥😫

Also, the recurring theme of the witch & all the unknown, half-knowledge associated with her & the trouble she caused to the Osterfield family is making me so so curious... Aaajjsshhh... Also, that if he's an Osterfield too then... The second prince that was saved?? But then what brother? Which brother? Another family took him?? OMG so many questions!!!

OMG the way he's grazing his fingers over her skin 😳😳 so delicately but so flavorful & heated.

He kisses you once, twice, and then thrice, softly, before tracing his way your throat. “Your neck, is the most graceful neck I’ve seen. I just want to spend my days kissing them and making sure that the whole world knows you’re mine.” / “Stop it!” You giggle at the way his hair tickles your chin when he leans down to kiss your neck. but that laughter soon becomes a gasp when he flips you on your back and hovers over you. DUDEEEE OMG THE PERFECT MIX OF FLUFFY & SMUTTY IMAGERY... I JUST I AM SO SO 🥺🥺🥺 🔥🔥🔥

And he remembered you, pleading with his father to let him stay. You cried and begged, promising that you’ll be forever loyal to Darrion, and never even set your eyes on him. But the old Lord had turned his face in disgust. You had pleaded with Darrion too, but he left you. Harrison was escorted out of the castle on that very day with the threat that if he ever returned, he will be put to death. OMGGGGG FUCKKKK I HAD NO IDEA... THIS IS SO SERIOUS ... I JUST... OMG PLZ DON'T HURT ME & MY BABIES 🥺🥺🥺🥺

“She waits for you,” Rog says quietly, “she is still here waiting for you! Almost went mad and killed the guards when your mother tried to take her to the Barrowlands.” He walked inside his house and picked up the keys to the gate. Coming back he hands Harrison the keys, “She waits for you!” WHOOO?? THE WITCHHHH???

As he entered the tower and started going up the stairs, he could hear a lilting voice travelling in the air. It was you! Oh god whattt??? Is she the witchhh bcoz then omggg but I am not sure tho but great they met again but again Is she the witch???

WAIT WHATTTTT????

THAT'S IT??? IT ENDED???? WHERE IS THE TEXT SAYING 'TO BE CONTINUED' BCOZ HOW CAN YOU JUST LEAVE IT THERE??????????? HOW CAN YOUUUU???? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

This is not it Anya. I want more. I was enjoying it so much & then it was over???? When is the sequel? Plz say that there is one!!!!

But plz plz don't feel forced. I will totally support you if you chose not to give it one. But this one was so so so goood!!!!

Exiled Hearts

Harrison Osterfield x reader (GOT!au) | Word count: 4.9K | Warning: Implied smut.

A/N: Firstly, the whole work is dedicated to Riya AKA @fanficparker​ . Girl you are one of the best person in this entire world and I have no idea how to explain how much your words encourage me to keep on writing. I have spoken to you about this au, but at that point I had no idea if I’ll be able to do it. But throughout this entire piece I kept remembering all the encouraging words you have said to me, and the end result is this monster fic. I hope you like it, it’s something new I’m trying and I don’t know how much I’ve succeeded in imbibing that sense of longing and yearning for past I’ve felt whenever I’ve indulged in this world myself.

P.s: Some names and places are taken from the book such as Essos, Volantis, Vale, Valeria and free cities and I claim no rights for them. They are only used here to provide context and proper description. If you find any other names here from the original book, then the credits to them goes to the original author of GOT.

Check out me Masterlist!

»»————-　✼　————-««

The sea town hadn’t changed at all.

As the ship anchors near the port and the usual hubbub of porters and beggars and tradesmen and passengers take over the ship, Harrison collects his only pack of clothes and slips out of his small cabin. The journey was not something he enjoyed, but it was something he had to endure.

He had to.

“Is there a place I can get a horse around here?” he asks the captain, handing him a leather pouch full of 15 dragons.

“A horse, eh?” the captain puffs on his long thin pipe and eyes Harrison up and down, “where you headed boy?”

He took a deep breath before answering the question, “Where I’m headed is my own business, all I need is a horse.”

The old captain grunted, or maybe laughed. Either ways he made a weird sound before pointing towards a vague direction on the east side of the dock, “you’ll find Malver’s stable that way. The price is bloody high, but his horses are better than the rest in this shitty port town.”

Keep reading

[speakinginstupidity]

I just found out john krasinski and Emily blunt are married with children and I don't think my life will ever be the same

[thekbv]

Tales from the frontline.. A week in an ED doc’s life in a time of Corona.

Covid 19. A respiratory virus that has ravaged nursing homes, communities, and cruise ships. As if being trapped on a giant tin spewing gallons of human waste into the ocean wasn’t horrific enough... 

Today, I would like to share what work has been like for me this week. 

It’s a little chaotic out there, isn’t it? Let’s be honest- no one knows what they’re doing. There’s still a lot to be learned about this new virus. It’s scary, I acknowledge that. But hey, lets all just be rational for a second and put on our thinking caps.  I feel like even our hospital administration has been illogical in way we are dealing with Covid19. We did not prepare adequately.  It didn’t happen overnight, we had time to prepare and yet we are left confused and without resources. We had a chance to come out ahead, and instead, we’re already chasing a moving target. 

We don’t have enough tests for Covid or other respiratory virus. We could have prepared for this and ensured that we had the proper equipment to test patients. As a result, we have to limit who we test. The recommendations for testing changes very day, hour, minute leaving providers  without any guidelines.  In my 6 day stretch alone, I’ve had at least 4 changes in guidelines about testing. The test was originally send to CDC, taking about 3 weeks to come back to us rendering it essentially useless. We now have testing that takes 2-3 days, better but not quite there. 

OH and the spacesuit. Coronaviruses (this is a family of viruses that cause respiratory symptoms- Covid 19 belongs to one of many coronaviruses)  usually have droplet precautions (face masks, eye shields, and gloves) but given this outbreak, they want us to be extra careful- meaning we don and doff the full protective gear. Anytime a patient comes in with a fever and respiratory symptoms, I have to put on a gown, two pairs of gloves, and a helmet/ mask situation with a circulating fan. Do you know how many people have fevers and coughs? I had a patient from a nursing home last night with a fever of 103.0F. He was in his 70s and hard of hearing. The conversation went like this..

Me: “HOW ARE YOU FEELING RIGHT NOW?”

Patient: “ WHATTT I CAN’T HEARRR YOUU”

Me: “HOW ARE YOU FEELING?!!!”

Patient:  “Ohhh I feel fine thank you”

Me: “WHATTTTT?”

He was super sweet and very confused about the whole situation. He kept telling me he felt fine and wanted to go home (don’t we all buddy). But it just makes it so much harder for us to accurately determine what is going on. A hospitalist told me , that we had admitted someone with a fever to rule out coronavirus, and neglected to do a through history and physical exam because of the suits, masks, and hoopla. The patient ended up having appendicitis. UPDATE: they changed the recommendations once again, and we have successfully gotten rid of space suits! 

Racism. OHH how mass hysteria can bring out the ignorance in people. “I was on a flight back from Mexico, and there were a lot of Asians on it”. “I work at Baskin Robins and there’s a lot of Orientals that come by”. “My food delivery person was Chinese and now I have a cough”. Cue in eye roll and audible sigh. 

I may have already communicated my dismay about this whole situation. Maybe it’s just my total lack of self preservation. But here’s my two cents.. There has been more deaths from influenza in America alone than coronavirus globally. I think mortality rates from coronavirus may appear higher because we are only testing people who are super sick right now. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be concerned but I think we should look at this like a bad flu. Good hand hygiene and common sense will go a long way.  Even if you have coronavirus, chances are you will survive.  People who are dying are usually older and have pre existing illnesses. The silver lining- It does not appear to infect children as much or they do not develop a severe illness with coronavirus. ALSO- less greenhouse gases from less traveling!