#like what were they feeding you 500 years ago my guy
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jazzies-stuff · 15 days ago
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Ramshackle dorm line-up!
Had to get these down after seeing so many other people's super cool designs, I love everyone hopping on the halloween gang bandwagon!!!
+ some small interactions
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++ height check!
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Ok but some sources say Skully is around 195 cm or 6'6 ft tall, so in reality, it's somewhat like this:
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Which is just ridiculous, actually.
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Jake would also be a great fit for the prompt I just sent you, I copy-pasted the prompt from my notes app prompts list and forgot to change the name.
part of my 500 follower celebration!!!
Never Letting Go
pairing: Jake Seresin x fem!reader
warnings: smut, MINORS DNI, 18+, angst, fluff, p in v sex, penetration sex, mentions of money, cowgirl/missionary, jake being in LOVE, me knowing nothing about the military
wc: 1.7k
a/n: ok i had so much fun writing this one so i hope you guys like it!!
prompt: you break up with Jake to try and make sure he doesn’t turn down the dagger squad’s permanent stationing in order to stay with you, and Jake is not having any of that and fucks you so well he shows you just how much he loves you and isn’t letting you go?
absolutely DO NOT steal my work and post it on other platforms. DO NOT feed my work to AI fuck that
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You and Jake have been together for almost 2 years. You met in your hometown of Dallas, Texas; you worked in an office in Dallas’s CBD and Jake was stationed just outside of Dallas.
The two of you had run into each other at the grocery store, Jake was fairly new to the area, having grown up in Austin, and he looked a little lost, so feeling pity on him, you decided to help him out. After the long - but not grueling - shopping trip, Jake offered to take you out and of course you accepted.
Ever since then you’ve been attached at the hip. Until now.
Only months ago, Jake was called back to Top Gun for a dangerous, top secret mission. And since his team’s performance during the mission was so high, the squad was offered a permanent spot as a special operations team at Top Gun Academy.
When he told you the news you couldn’t help but be ecstatic for him because you know he’s worked so incredibly hard for this.
You dwelled on the pros and cons of moving to California when you realized that you were only holding Jake back, there was no way that he would go without you but you couldn’t just pick up your entire life and move out to San Diego. I mean you have a job and a life here! Not to mention how expensive Cali is! You just didn’t want him to stay because of you.
There was no way in Hell that you would get between him and his job, so you made the toughest decision, probably of your entire life. You have to break up with him.
You made sure everything was ready by the time he got back to your shared apartment. Dinner was made, the space was cleaned, the table was set, and your head was a mess.
He greeted you with the most loving smile as he walked in the door, which only made a pit form in your stomach. How are you supposed to end things with the person you love most in the world?
Halfway through dinner you decided to start, “Jake, about your job,”
“Yeah, isn’t it amazing, baby?”
“It is so amazing and I am so happy for you because you deserve this more than anyone,” you trailed off and he picked up on your tone.
“But you don’t think I should take the offer?”
“No! No, that’s not it. I think you should take the offer. But I also think we should break up,” you whispered the last part into an almost silent room.
Jake dropped his fork immediately and froze, “Excuse me?”
“I think we should break up. I’m holding you back Jake, I don’t want to get in between you and what you love most,”
“Baby, you are what I love most,”
“Jake, please just listen. I love you so much and you know I only want the absolute best for you. And I think this is the best option for you, for us.”
Jake stood abruptly and paced around the small living room. He didn’t say a word.
“Please say something,” you stood closely behind him.
“We’re not breaking up,”
“You have to take this job, it’s everything you’ve been working up to and I am not going to be the one to hold you back and—“ he cut you off sharply with a kiss and mumbled into your mouth.
“I would never leave you,” he nipped at your jawline and the higher parts of your neck.
This could not be happening right now. This was not how this night was supposed to go, but you couldn’t stop a slight moan escaping from your lips. If you were going to leave him, you felt like you deserved one more time with him.
You pushed him away to hold his face. You looked into his eyes, then found his lips, and kissed them roughly, “Please Jake, I need you, one last time,”
That’s all he needed to hear and he had you in his arms, carrying you to your shared bedroom. He tossed you on the bed, practically ripping his shirt off, he hovered above you, taking your shirt and bra off next.
He sucked on your chest, leaving love bites on the very top of your breasts. “I’m going to fuck you stupid until you get this idea of you holding me back out of your head.”
He moved down to your shorts, pulling them off as quickly as possible, taking your underwear with them.
He kissed the insides of your thighs, making his was up to your core.
He removed his mouth and let two of his fingers press inside of you. He kissed up your stomach as he pumped his fingers deep inside of you and relished in the way you were almost incoherently moaning.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he held down your hips as he began to lightly suck on your clit. You couldn’t help but let out a pornographic moan.
You didn’t mean to feel the need to release so quickly but you couldn’t help it. You wanted every part of him and you didn’t want to leave him.
He quickened his pace causing you to scream out with pleasure. He pulled his fingers from you and sucked your juices off his hand.
He unbuckled his belt and yanked down his pants, pulling out his hard length. He teased your entrance with his cock, slapping the surface lightly. You were almost a whimpering mess underneath him.
He finally pushed into, both of you letting out a long noise of satisfaction. Jake murmured curses of pleasure under his breath and his thrusted into you.
He had you on your back, your legs on either side of him. He pulled your legs to wrap around his waist and thrusted into you harder.
Jake was now leaning completely over you, his hand on either sides of your breasts, him kissing down your neck, and his stupidly hot dog tags dangling over you as you practically screamed out for him.
He pulled back from your neck and started kissing down your chest again, loving the way your boobs moved as he fucked you into the mattress.
Your nails dig into his back as he starts thrusting at a faster pace.
“Fuck, baby, you’re so good for me,” God he may as well just get you pregnant at this point.
You started to feel a build in your stomach, again. You could tell he was close too because his thrusts started to falter.
He began to pull out to cum, when you tugged him closer to you, keeping him inside. He looked at you with a hunger as you both reached your climax, crying out profanities.
He hung his head low until flipping you over until you were sitting on top of him. He pushed himself up the bed, propping himself up, you still on top.
Holding down your hips, a firm grip on them, you began to bounce up and down on his cock. He finally speaks for the first time, rebounding from the babbling mess you had made of him earlier.
“Baby, I’m not leaving you here,”
You wrapped you arms around his neck for a steadier ride. “Jake-“
“I don’t care, I will turn it down,”
“Absolutely not,” you began to bob faster as you got more flustered, “I want you to go, Jake,”
“I want you to go with me, I thought that was a given,”
“But my job, we can’t afford for only one of us to work,”
He moved his hands up and down your torso, grabbing and squeezing at your tits.
“Yes we can, I have a trust fund, I’ll make sure you never work another day in you entire life. I’ll make you my wife so you can live on base. Or we don’t have to live on base, I’ll buy us a mansion and whatever you want in it.”
There was nothing hotter than seeing the man you love offer to take care of you for the rest of your lives. You want to be with him so bad.
You want every part of him. His highs, his lows, his good days, his awful days, you want it all and everything in between.
Hearing him coax you down from the ledge only made you want him more. Pushing you over the edge of another orgasm. He took you lips with his as you finished for the third time, him for the second.
You pulled away off of him and curled up by his side, resting your head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around your body and kissed your forehead gently, “I promise I’ll take care of you, baby. Don’t worry about any of this,”
“I want to go with you, Jake, if you’ll have me,”
“I want you more than anything on this entire planet, and don’t you doubt it for a second that I would never leave you,”
You pressed a chaste kiss to his jawline, whispering close to him, “I love you, Jake.”
He looked down at you with gentlest expression you’ve ever seen and kissed you again, “I love you and I’m never letting you go.”
It was time to start a new chapter with the love of your life, (and Jake was right, he did fuck you stupid until you dropped the idea of you burdening him and holding him back).
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shadowqueenjude · 1 year ago
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The Bastard of Doranelle: Lorcan's origin story @alice-bad-thoughts @yoddhasblog you two got me thinking so ofc i started writing shit lol. ima write more tmrw but this is the first part.
Over 500 years ago There was an infant dropped on the streets. Unfortunately, it was far from an unusual circumstance. Whores often gave birth to children they could not afford to have removed and did not want. Babies were abandoned in this area all the time, so often that people had started calling the place the Baby Tomb. The babies dropped there typically suffered one of three fates: either they died of starvation within a day or two, they were taken and eaten by desperately starving Fae, or a rare third option: they were picked up by somebody to take care of. A girl was watching the Baby Tomb as a young woman in a shawl deposited an infant at the Baby Tomb. A human: those were rare here in Doranelle, and often considered lower-class. It would make sense if she was a whore. It didn’t make the girl any less angry. That was a helpless infant. How could these people just leave them to die? Maria clenched her hands into fists. Her story was a little bit different. She’d had loving parents until last year when they’d both been executed for treason. They had worked for the Queen of the Fae and had apparently turned their back on her. So, the bitch had had them put down and all of their wealth stripped. That had left Maria an orphan just past her 14th birthday. Gone was the lavish lifestyle she had been gifted by her wealthy family. Gone were the parents who had showered her with love and affection. Most people expected that given her privileged birth, Maria would wither on the streets. But those people who believed that failed to consider several important factors: 1. Maria’s noble birth meant that she had strong Fae lineage built for surviving tough conditions.
2. Maria had played rough with males long before she had been forced onto the streets.
3. Her family had kept a small amount of money safe from the queen of the Fae’s clutches. Which meant that her parents had anticipated something like this happening. It wasn’t enough to buy a house or anything, but it would keep her alive for a few years before she figured out how to get a job while avoiding the tag of the “daughter of the traitor.” As soon as the woman left, Maria approached the infant. She looked around to see if anyone was watching her before she scooped the baby up into her arms and peered at his face. The baby was very skinny; most likely he was born prematurely, and the mother was probably not very healthy either. But his night-black eyes were bright and he already had a dusting of dark hair on his head. After a brief visit to the Black Market to acquire baby food, Maria carried the baby over to her little den, where she knew her friends would be waiting for her. As close to friends as you could get when you were all fighting for your survival, anyway. Symphony rolled her eyes as Maria approached. “What a surprise. Maria has picked up another stray.”
“Lay off her, Symph,” Neeraj said. Maria had a surge of gratefulness for Neeraj’s interference. Symphony was an acquired taste, very prickly and irritating at times, and she and Maria often clashed. Maria knew Symphony found Maria’s soft heart insufferable, and Maria felt the same about Symphony’s cold heart. “Really, you’re defending her, Neeraj? Remember that wild dog Maria tried to feed? And now she’s brought home an infant? How long will we survive, do you reckon? A few days?” “I’m not asking you to do shit, Phony,” Maria snapped, her nickname for her whenever Maria thought she was being rude. “I’ll take care of him myself.” “And waste our resources-“ “I’ll remind you, Phony, that most of it is either my inheritance money or money I earned through hard work-” “You mean stealing?” Symphony sneered. Maria ignored her, going on, “So you should be grateful I’m helping you guys out. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to bed.” She saluted Symphony and Neeraj, walking past Vlain and Petro’s sleeping bodies as she passed.  She found her blanket and nestled into it, peering at the child again. She lifted the baby bottle she had gotten along with the food and placed it in the cherub’s mouth. Within a couple of minutes, the baby had consumed the entire bottle of food. Stunned, Maria placed the empty baby bottle on her other side, fully prepared to fall asleep. The baby reached forward with a tiny hand and grabbed one of her fingers. Maria gently tried to slide away, but found that the child had an almighty grip. Laughing, Maria pried the fingers off, staring at the child. “You’re a little fierce one, aren’t you? I think I’ll name you Lorcan,” Maria cooed at the infant. She could’ve sworn the little face smiled at her words. “You’re going to be like the little brother I never had, once you’re a little older. I always wanted siblings, you know,” Maria said. She was fully aware that she probably looked crazy talking to a baby, but she didn’t care. “We’re going to be the best sibling duo ever. You can even take my last name. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? The troublemakers, Maria and Lorcan Salvaterre.”
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tomorrowusa · 2 years ago
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Joe Biden's State of the Union Address was more effective than what most people were expecting.
Veteran journalist Jeff Greenfield in the linked article above had a reaction similar to that of other pundits.
Here’s an opening line I did not expect to write an hour or so ago: President Joe Biden gave a pretty good State of the Union address — indeed, one of the better ones I’ve heard.
What made it work was not just that Biden was in a buoyant spirit, with an energy that’s often lacking, but that it was a clearly political speech with a clear political goal: to define Biden as the guy who is on your side, going after the big boys who were flourishing at your expense.
While he didn't say so in so many words, Biden indicated that the era of Reagan-Thatcher unregulated global capitalism is over.
“��Buy American’ has been the law of the land since 1933,” Biden said. “But for too long, past administrations, Democrat and Republican, have fought to get around it. Not anymore. … On my watch, American roads, bridges and American highways will be made with American products.”
Mention of 1933, the first year of FDR's New Deal, was no accident. Biden is clearly aiming at an update of the Roosevelt-Truman Keynesian form of regulated capitalism whose abandonment in the 1980s led to soaring economic inequality and the departure of tens of millions of manufacturing jobs to other countries.
“I’m a capitalist. But pay your fair share. I think a lot of you at home agree. … Look, the idea that in 2020, 55 of the largest companies in America, the Fortune 500, made $40 billion in profits and paid zero in federal taxes? Zero? Folks, that’s simply not fair.”
Reagan era "trickle down" doesn't work because the mega corporations and filthy rich refuse to trickle. Greed only feeds upon itself.
When and if he kicks off his reelection campaign — and tonight’s speech made the “when” way more likely than the “if” — expect to hear a lot more like this from Biden from now until November 2024.
I still think the conventional wisdom is right — that these moments rarely if ever affect the political terrain. But the president and his team deserve some credit for trying to speak more plainly and clearly to the country.
While Biden may not be our most eloquent politician, he certainly didn't sound mealy-mouthed on Tuesday.
Republicans were not expecting such a forceful performance. The only intelligible comment Trump was able to make about Biden's SOTU speech is that he used the word "folks" too much in it.
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Watch "Mass Effect 3- Javik the Prothean 50'000 Years Ago." on YouTube
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So before I believe I went to California first and then came back home and then went to Michigan to go meet bo Miguel Lindstrom
And then I've met those 50,000 future trippers just like matrix how that white guy was sitting with the black guy and then multiple versions and they all spoke together and became this symbiotic robot that functions as a single unit
When I went to Michigan I was talking to Watson and getting gathering information around that region I came back about 3 weeks and I was back at my aunt's house and I got kicked out and I have to move out never since then I was moving room to room to room getting f****** using my dad's retirement funds of $500 and then having that as a rent and they was feeding me food with the food stamps cuz I didn't even get food stamps on the
You guys can be all mad at me and your glorious f****** life of imperium but I'm the one who's been suffering 8 years crossing over different timelines traveling using other bodies avatars and other spiritual bodies suiting up for every f****** war that possible even before you were even existent and or not okay
So I have every f****** right to be this f****** upset if you're in my situation all of you guys would do the same thing and still be f****** doing exactly what I am doing you don't see me going after f****** people killing them and on the f****** spot do you I can easily do that if you want me to you want God's hands to be f****** bloody you let me know okay
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val-made-a-mistake · 4 years ago
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YALL
so in honour of me hitting 500 followers, i decided to throw the smut portion of partition around in google translate a couple of times to see if it got something funny. to say i’m crying with laughter is an understatement.
@tkachuk-dubois @prestigious-tea @chiefdirector @cable-kenobi @multiyfandomgirl40 @shrekboobies @fandom-princess-forevermore @ladyveraweasley — this isn’t a fic but it’s still zemo related so i tagged you guys! i’m still having a lot of trouble tagging certain usernames though
//////
You recorded the last Po Zemo front seat belt featuring a violent and kiss, a kiss on the splattered coat of the flag wearing lipstick on you and what you forget how to kiss. Read my lips it moves, in such a disgusting way, while you still can't think of anything ... thats all to say, this way.
A study responded, curling into a jacket is closer to removing it, and it pushed you into the leather seats.
Why don't you ask a whimper, like a flamed mouth spalatinorum belt as a single-leg broken seat, to be sharp, the other authorities.
"Quiet," he ordered, though it was only whispering and muddy to bring him to order enough tremors until your spine, so you obeyed.
You can also bite too hard for you with tears, already completely under the basin to keep your cover, pull off the train, I lay down naked, brushing the side of her clitoris, and the drawers myself lazy. Of course I remember the G-spot, because the part that people like to enjoy playing puppets has not changed at all.
Helmut sighed quietly and looked.
"What's so funny?"
And he got wet
And they fought again, is the heat, lest it spread to the cheeks, but it lost.
"Arise," your secrecy to throw a split finger, and thank God, for I have heard my voice.
Holy shit, that silver tongue man and somehow forgot how to use it. Capri, this does the coat, and his only desire is to get you to him and beg him, as is the norm, but there is nothing to something else, which I began to describe now to be able to know when he started to circle her clit and slips his gloomy fingers into the easily recognizable two. During those precious minutes, eating when you were completely lost at the time of your palm, and I remembered that you took the skirt of her low, and if you had her face completely covered, and it would be very good for her.
However, when you are ahead, hold your thigh strong and feed as if you are hungry and it will help you calculate it.
At the first meeting you should definitely go blast, and the cover, Zemo again with the completely useless fur coating her mouth, he got up, and killed her.
Because I long to see you too, which could be simple and Abraham has turned the seat of the.
I looked out the window, but now from the heart.
"How long until we get there?" There were many.
Zemo looked at the surface of many things and I noticed how hard his hand was to his belt.
Not having trouble, he wanted to do enough. Your legs tremble, if you no longer wiggle him or shake him on the couch, his grandfather's exact look, but they flew, unzipping his belt, then ...
For some reason your head is not awake. It makes no sense whatsoever, one of your mighty men would not be drunk with the foot opening of the place, but not to him, not stealing to look. Is he or she not employed, but ...
He will grab your beard's fingers leprosy to break out the light, and the light of your face will make you Zemo do him a good deed.
"Return to me," he said in a softer tone, more than a few hours ago. Did we want the company in front of you both with a great divide. Although I have never become a youth prison, tortured, no plan and you know when to push it out of the spirit. He nodded agreement. sore throat.
When you felt something long and hard door, and have been bitten again -
Every last piece of the puzzle fell into place, and you have to work in years.
And your mother of the time of the spirit and Helmut apply it to the other.
That was over a small space for you to hold out for a bit more, however it seemed to hurt as he hit her, the deepest impression on him, even if it was the pleasure and not the pain that disappeared with the waves . cut them. when it starts for you.
You heard about the tone and speech of his apartment.
Lamb
You gathered your strength to stand still swimming in the sea, and breathe suddenly, but round the walls and lean down by the friction with the After School before the creature more than ever, so that the driver of your health improves faster, crushing. he, and if they do not, he would sigh.
Zemo's breath "Oh Gott" held back, and like a blast an orgasm followed.
It was inconsistent - you'll want to carry everything I've lost to you so much that I didn't hear or understand, even if they were so close to heaven, it's very important that you haven't done so yet, they all complained to me and beg for cheaper.
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war--lords · 4 years ago
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sorry i’ve been gone for so long i have a full-time job and other hobbies that i am deeply obsessed with... here have some fluff
Female pronouns for Reader
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Fact one: In the past three days, Nobunaga can’t find you in the places you frequent around the castle, and at the end of the day, finds the tenshu empty. By dusk you are usually in his room, but these nights he finds you coming back after him. “Oh, just taking care of some stuff,” you would say.
Fact two: He misses you.
Perhaps it isn’t in his character to admit that so openly to you, what with his moniker being the “Devil King” and all, but he knows you know better—honesty has always been a key in your relationship, and it was the fact that he knew you were from 500 years in the future that drew him closer to you. Yes, he’ll tell you he misses you, but not before dealing out the proper punishment for failing to pay attention to him.
(Maybe he’s not being entirely honest after all, because he calls it punishment even when the both of you enjoy it. And as much as you’d squirm and reprimand him for teasing you so...)
Enough, he chides himself mentally. The lack of quality time with you has driven his mind to rely on fantasy, but that needs to change today. Today, he declares independence from the stack of paperwork on his desk and dedicates his working hours to looking for you—within the castle grounds or in town, if he must. He can already hear Hideyoshi scolding him at the back of his mind and scoffs.
As if that could stop him.
Nobunaga’s first stop is the hall where the seamstresses usually work.
“She left but moments ago, my lord,” says one of the elderly, working to get her thread in the eye of the needle. “To the kitchen, said she needed help to procure some food items.” 
“Speaking of, she did the same yesterday. And the day before, if I remember correctly,” another seamstress chimes in. “And it’s around this time too.”
“I wonder if she’s also helping out there. Our lady has always been so eager to assist!”
Thanking the ladies for the information, Nobunaga exits the hall to make his way to the kitchen, leaving the staff giggling and cooing at how sweet the two of them are together.
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At an hour so close to lunch, the castle kitchen is teeming with life. Nobunaga’s face is hit with the aromatic smells of various dishes—it seems they’re about to be served mushroom and meat stew, a season-appropriate dish—as well as smoke and the sounds of commanding voices and hurried footsteps carrying the orders out. A cooking battlefield.
Blue enters his peripheral and he turns to look at a corner. Masamune is taste-testing something out of an iron pot simmering atop a fire, offering some of his comments to the chef standing next to him before sprinkling in some other ingredients into the pot.
“Lord Nobunaga,” Masamune says, grinning at the Oda patriarch’s approach. The chef standing next to him looks surprised at the very least, echoing the greeting with a deep bow. Masamune swiftly swipes a sample of the brewing broth of a wooden spoon and offers it to him with a “careful, it’s hot”. 
Nobunaga holds the spoon in his hand and sips, nodding his approval. “I was told I could find ___________ here.”
“The lass? Right, she was here.”
Nobunaga clicks his tongue at the use of past tense.
“Was she helping out with lunch preparations?”
Masamune shakes his head, adding what seems to be a pinch more salt into the pot. “Asked for some leftovers, actually—last night’s steamed fish. Put it in a neat little box and was gone as quickly as she arrived.”
“She asked for her food to be packed, as well.” The chef next to Masamune supplies.
Was she going somewhere? Nobunaga muses, deep in thought. His lover might be perplexing, but sharp as he is, he has some sort of clue as to what is happening. 
“I see. Did anyone see which way she was heading?”
Another young man chopping up some scallions in his work station put his knife down and pointed to the right of the kitchen entrance. “To the garden thereabouts, perhaps, my lord,” he answers, before he dutifully goes back to his job. 
“Thank you. In that case I shall have my food to go as well.”
“Right away, my lord!”
Masamune chuckles. “Didn’t know you guys like playing cat and mouse.”
Something clicks in Nobunaga’s mind. That had to be it.
“Yes, well, I didn’t know either,” comes his offhanded response, the beginnings of a smile on his lips. 
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When he finally finds you, you are sitting under a maple tree in the freshly trimmed garden, the red of autumn forming a beautiful canopy above you. He sees a lacquered lunchbox in your hand, and in front of you, just at arm’s length, is another box...
...being devoured wholeheartedly by three kittens of varying coats.
“There you are,” he says as he approaches. You look startled for a split second, perhaps associating the gardens with a place that nobody ever frequents, before the expression melts into the very smile he’s smitten with.
“Nobunaga!” You look pleased with a tinge of confusion. “How rare of you to dine outside.”
“I’ve been looking all over for you,” he confesses as he sits down next to you, not minding the grass on his kimono and haori, “and upon finding out that you’ve decided to eat out, I decided to join you.”
“I’m sorry, did you come look for me in the kitchen?”
“And the seamstresses’ hall before that.”
You look extremely apologetic he almost feels bad. He leans forward. You get the message and peck him on the lips. 
“Sorry.”
“One more, and then you’re forgiven.”
“Mm, okay,” you murmur, smiling into the kiss, your lunchbox forgotten despite holding it in your hands. This one lasts longer, what with your lover’s hand at the back of your head, ordering you to stay, and when he swipes his tongue on your bottom lip you feel the beginnings of a moan bubbling at the top of your throat—oh, you’re in public—
He’s the first to pull away, a devious smirk on his face. “Your food will grow cold.”
Pouting, you begrudgingly start eating again.
“So this is where you’ve been the past few days?” He asks, unraveling the cloth that wraps his food container while staring at three fuzzy rumps an arm’s length away. The kittens, all of which are variants of white, orange, and black, look ravenous, not even caring that another person has entered the vicinity. He spots the remnants of steamed fish in the box.
“Yes,” you answer, all smiles as you look at the kittens, and then once more that expression morphs into a realization that you’ve been spending less time with him, which perfectly explains him seeking you out. “Oh, Nobu, I didn’t mean to.”
He begins eating his meal. “You could have told me.”
“Well, yes, but I felt like that would’ve finalized my attachment to them,” you say, finishing your meal (you started earlier, after all). “I’ve been watching them and waiting for their mother to perhaps come back, but it’s been three days...”
One of the kittens, the one with orange and black on the tips of its ears, comes hobbling at you with little legs, meowing in thanks. Your smile turns to a chuckle when it climbs into your lap, insistently pawing and leaning its head into your palm when you reach to pet it.
He watches as you pet it gently, the kitten seemingly wanting more scratches and strokes each time that you have to concede. A wry smile takes over his face as he continues with his meal. “Perhaps its mother left them here knowing they will be well cared for.”
You blink in surprise. “Nobunaga, are you saying we can—”
“No.”
“Why?” you whine.
“I’m smart enough not to invite any competition for your attention within my quarters.”
Understanding dawns upon you and you find your arms around his shoulders, kissing his neck repeatedly so as to not disturb his meal. The poor man... getting jealous over some kittens because you’ve been looking after them for the last few days. When you’ve administered the last kiss on his throat, hoping to appease him, you look up to see his eyes boring into yours, a planning smile on his face. You catch on, and smile back, hoping to look at least half as alluring as he.
“I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
“Good,” he replies curtly. “When that happens... I’ll make sure it’ll be impossible for you to think about anything else.”
The incessant meowing, cute as they are, dissolves the sexual tension between the two of you, as another kitten makes its way bravely on top of Nobunaga’s calf, its beady eyes making it look like it’s pleading. Good sir? Have you come to feed us, too?
You see a softness in Nobunaga’s eyes that indicates he’s finally understood what you felt. The man uses his chopsticks to fish out a piece of meat and hovers it right in front of the kitten’s face, allowing the tiny feline to snatch it out of the utensil’s grasp and straight into its mouth.
“The staff will be informed of these little ones and help take care of them,” he declares, “of course you are free to do so as well.” Just don’t neglect me again, you can hear that last unspoken bit through the way he gazes at you. You smile at him gratefully and sigh, feeling like the luckiest person in the world. When else do you get to see Nobunaga acting all soft and playing with kittens?
Leaning forward again, you kiss him on the cheek.
“Thank you.”
He brushes your lip with his thumb and you suppress a shiver down your spine—now is hardly the time to think of that. You lean your head on his shoulder.
“Shall we name them?”
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(Haguro flies in the scene five minutes later, scaring the kittens initially, but it’s clear that much like his owner, he’s just jealous and wants some pets.)
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witchyintention · 4 years ago
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Deities: What Are They, How to Work With Them & How to Find Them.
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As a beginner witch deities are exciting and most want to jump into it right away. As someone who works with 7 let me tell you it is draining. Most people will simply tell you a big fat NO! At the mention of deities and not really tell you why it's a no for beginners. For one it takes a lot out of you. For two deities are a big step in your practice and you must work on the fundamentals before you even think of working with them. If you don't work on your grounding, shadow work, mediation and basic knowledge of witchcraft things can spiral out of control. This can get very dangerous very quickly. Deities are gods (or simply higher beings. I refer them to gods often so just keep this as a note) after all and someone weak trying to handle something powerful is disastrous. 
Think of tv, video games or movies. When someone who doesn't know what they are doing trying to summon something they have no business summoning it turns into a horror shit show. 
This is kinda how you should think of deities. However you are more than capable of worshipping them just like any other religion. Pray and leave offerings. You can even ask for guidance from them and that's perfectly fine. But do reframe from actually using them in your spell work.
Let me tell you about the difference. I have yet to go into spell work but you always cast a circle. So working with would be talking with a guide during any point of a spell. Your circle is a sacred space that's intended for your energy. By inventing other beings into the circle you are allowing them access to your energies.
When seeking help you pray and ask for a sign. Remember to keep this way from any sort of spellwork, you do not want just anyone to have access to your energies. 
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Any time that you invite them into your circle, they are able to use your energy and feed off it. Now inviting them can be as simple as saying their name. From that point you are working with them. Because once they can work with your energy they can effect your spellwork. If it's an entity, that can then cause potential harm. By allowing them in your circle you're opening up the chance of that happening. Spells could go wrong or you could end up in the hospital. There are many stories of novice witches opening their circle to these entities because they don't know any better. Many ended up in the hospital and even dead.
I have said witchcraft, as fun and exciting as it is, can be very dangerous. I do not tell you the things I do to scare you but to educate you. You need to know exactly what you're going into. And that is the purpose of this series.
Though I have been saying deities this also includes spirit guides such as the Fae, Angels Ancestors and everything in between. When you do get to this point in your practice you can in fact have a mix of all of them. I primarily work with the greek pantheon however I have called upon others to aid me in the message they were trying to give. For example I do not work with Apollo however a friend of mine had been seeing signs of him along with the name being whispered in the back of their mind. 
(I'll take any chance to include anime. 😅)
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This friend came to me to see if it was realy Apollo or something else that was pretending to be the god. This also frequently happens with beginner witches. They are more prone to believing something that isn't a god when told it is. This friend knew that and consulted me about it. As a result I found out it was Apollo and had him aid me in the message he wished to tell this friend through tarot. 
This was an example of me working with a god who I do not usually work with. However it is very much okay and actually encouraged to do some reading into Spirit  guides such as deities, Angel's and so on. Read about their lore and things associated with them. This will help you later or even now if you have been seeing signs from them. 
However if you anything like me you'll fall far down the rabbit hole of deities. I have been studying on greek and roman mythology since the 4th or 5th grade. Later when I moved halfway through 5th grade I was thrown into a group where we would choose a topic and do research on it. The theme we chose was greek mythology. The god I chose was Hades. I had always felt Hades had a bad reputation. With that I had this crazy goal to try and explain to everyone in my class he wasn't a bad guy. That he was just a guy who loves his wife and dog. 
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Here I am nearly ten years later working with him. Did it take me a while? Yes. Will it take you this long? Maybe not. For me most of the years I have spent being a witch was studying rather than actual spellwork. You learn by doing, sure but when you already know the knowledge, putting it into action is much easier. Not to mention not all of us could do actually spell work due to this and that. Whatever reason you might be in the broom closet for.
Now once you have done your research keep an eye out for potential signs. It's best to look into all the gods. I had a witch who had thought she was dealing with Hades when it actually turned out to be Anubis. They both similar for what they rule over so getting them confused as a beginner is understandable. Especially when you only do research on one type of lore like greek. It's best to explore all the lore of all the different types. You have Egyptian, Greek/Roman, Norse, Celtic, Japanese, Angels, Fae and so many more. Do you have to read up about all of them? No but you probably should.
But let's be real here. Not everyone is going to. So pick maybe five that stand out to you then most and go fall down the rabbit hole of spirit guides. Also do keep in mind that if you see signs of one they could simply have a message for you rather than being a potential deity to work with. Like I had explained earlier with Apollo. He had a message for my friend and it was nothing more than that. Spirit guides of any sort can come and go as they please. Some might only come because you need them then in that moment.
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What I have noticed is most don't have more than three spirit guides. I'm sure there are many who have more but from what I have seen in finding them for people they have had three or less. I find the hardest ones to figure who exactly they are, there the ancestors. I've had a few witches ask me to help find their guides and it was an ancestor who dated back 500 years ago. At that point I have absolutely no idea how to tell you exactly who this person was. Especially since not everyone in the world was written in a history book for doing something worthy of being written in books.
Also not many can actually trace their family tree that far back anyways. I sure as hell can't. 
Now you're probably asking when is the right time to actually start working with them? Well it differs from person to person. You can ask a more established witch like myself. Other times you just know. But I wouldn't trust that "I just know feeling" until you have strong intuition skills. I have many of my Protégés and regulars asking if they are ready all the time. How do I know? Easy divination. I have a strong bond with my deities so they always tell me the truth even when it might hurt me. Sometimes I have to tell them that when I notice a hesitation in their answering.
And truthful you will know when you know. Meeting mine just happened out of the blue. I was doing tarot readings during a live broadcast when I was suddenly hit with fatigue. I had the sudden urge to ask my pendulum if my spirit guides were present. I had a hunch of who they might have been and went through the list. If they said yes I then gave a true or false question about said deities lore. Let me tell you meeting all seven of them was exhausting. That night I did 8 readings with 8 different gods. One wasn't even my spirit guide or Patron God. Zeus just felt like hanging out.
And though I say you will just know when the time is right many will still just take that leap even when they are not ready. When it comes to deities you need to be cautious and actually ready for it. Don't just jump in because it sounds fun and you want them now. If you are uncertain about things in regards to them simply ask for help. I have built a community for exactly that.
Everyone needs help from time to time, even me. Do not be scared to ask for help because it's better you ask then things going wrong. I am always open for you to ask questions about the craft. I am always willing to help. If I do not know the answer I will however find it for you and the information will be trustworthy unlike the internet most of the time.
Witchcraft is exciting. I know. Yes it's a lot of fun. But please, you know yourself better than you think. Do your shadow work, meditate, learn your history and if you need help seek it out. 
That's all I have for today so until next time stay witchy! Blessed Be.
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✩ Don't Steal Other Peoples Work ✩
Written:
June 28, 2020
By:
Reine Alicis
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tabloidtoc · 3 years ago
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National Enquirer, May 10
You can buy a brand new copy of this issue without the mailing label for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks
Cover: Prince Charles orders Prince Harry to divorce Meghan Markle
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Page 2: In a sniveling fit of pique, scorned Alex Rodriguez has trashed former fiancee Jennifer Lopez as a dud in the sack and A-Rod is moaning J. Lo drove him to chase excitement elsewhere because she couldn't keep up with his sex demands and Alex is defending his piggish behavior by saying Jennifer pushed him into it and their spark died long ago, and they were barely intimate for the best part of a year before calling it quits -- Jennifer would pack on the PDA for the cameras, but the moment they were in private she pushed Alex away and even made him sleep in a separate bedroom and he says it was like dating an ice queen and pities the next guy she ropes in -- Jennifer thought she and Alex had a pretty good connection during their happier times, even though she'd likely admit things really petered out toward the end when the lack of trust set in so it will sting her that he's trashing her skills in the bedroom
Page 4: Robert De Niro is getting pummeled by estranged wife Grace Hightower's free-spending ways and his bitter spouse is intent on taking the aging legend for every penny as their nasty divorce drags on -- Robert's lawyers argued in court that greedy Grace's extravagant lifestyle has forced him to take every job he can snag, causing the 77-year-old to toil 12-hour days, six days a week and what's more, Robert's Nobu restaurant business has hit hard times and his tax bills to Uncle Sam are piling up but he is reportedly worth a whopping $500 million, and Grace's lawyers have countered he's pleading poverty but regularly charters a helicopter to Sunday brunch, a charge denied by his lawyer and her attorneys also claimed Robert frequently flies to Florida on a private plane and spends millions and millions on himself -- meanwhile, Robert's relationship with 66-year-old Grace has taken such a nosedive, she's spending frivolously just to punish him and she's walked into a shop a spent $80,000 in 15 minutes and she will go on vacations to the Bahamas, stop at the duty-free store and pay four times the price of what things usually cost and she has more wigs than Imelda Marcos had shoes -- Robert met Grace in 1987 when she was working as a waitress in London, and they married a decade later but they split in 1999 then reconciled and renewed their vows in 2004 before finally calling it quits in 2018 -- De Niro has forked over as much as $375,000 a month to his spouse since their split and the financially squeezed star may resort to doing product endorsements just to pay the bills -- under the terms of the couple's prenuptial agreement, once Grace and Robert are finally divorced, she's allowed a $6 million home, $500,000 cash and $1 million in annual alimony, but her lawyers have argued she should be entitled to half his fortune
* Nearly two years after Hayden Panettiere accused ex-boyfriend Brian Hickerson of brutally attacking her, the bully was sentenced to serve time in Los Angeles after he pleaded no contest to two felony counts of injuring a spouse or girlfriend, and the remaining charges of battery, assault with a deadly weapon and dissuading a witness were dismissed and he was hit with 45 days behind bars and four years' probation but he'll get credit for 12 days served -- he's done his own damage and will pay a permanent price for it -- meanwhile, Hayden is now in a great place in her life
Page 5: Danny Masterson has dragged Leah Remini into his rape case, claiming her docuseries Scientology and Its Aftermath influenced his alleged victims to file police reports against him -- former Scientologist Leah offered the women inducements and benefits to report Masterson to cops, his lawyer Tom Mesereau told a L.A. criminal court -- Danny, a 45-year-old Scientologist and That '70s Show alum, has pleaded not guilty to charges he raped three women in separate incidents between 2001 and 2003 -- Mesereau also called an LAPD detective who worked a second job as security for Leah a double agent and questioned how a 2000 police report made by one alleged victim went missing, but Deputy District Attorney Reinhold Mueller dismissed Mesereau's double agent claims as hyperbole and said the defense got a copy of the missing report and Mesereau's request to push back Masterson's preliminary hearing, a Scientology delay tactic, was also rejected
Page 6: Kelly Osbourne's shocking relapse after nearly four years of sobriety occurred amid intense family drama for the former reality show clan -- Kelly's mom Sharon Osbourne's exit from The Talk amid racism claims by co-hosts and dad Ozzy Osbourne's struggles with crippling Parkinson's disease and excruciating nerve damage frazzled her and she confessed she relapsed and she's not proud of it, but she's back on track and she's truly learned that it is just one day at a time -- her parents' problems weighed heavily on 36-year-old Kelly, who first struggled with substance abuse in her teens, and there's no doubt her mother's scandalous exit from The Talk played a big role as Kelly was crushed over the beating Sharon took in the press and retired rocker Ozzy's relentless suffering also pains Kelly and throw in brother Jack Osbourne's progressive MS and she's dealing with a lot
Page 7: Distressed Dolly Parton is ready to stage an all-star country intervention for her party-hearty goddaughter Miley Cyrus after recent photos of the troubled wild child swilling booze triggered alarm bells for Miley's family members and inner circle, including Dolly who has acted as a mentor to Miley and Dolly has always fussed over Miley like a mother hen and she's worried Miley is going to throw away her career and her life -- 75-year-old Dolly is so concerned about 28-year-old Miley that she's talked about reaching out to other country icons to arrange a meeting with the former Disney child star and help her consider her options and Dolly wants to enlist women she knows Miley truly admires, like Reba McEntire and Loretta Lynn, and organize a sit-down and Dolly knows if Miley hears from legends who achieved so much in the music industry, she's likely to understand any mistakes she makes now can affect her life forever -- every time Dolly thinks Miley's got her demons beat, she hears of another slip-up, so she feels like it's time to take action and Miley's parents Billy Ray Cyrus and Tish Cyrus, who are good pals of Dolly, are thankful for Dolly's concern because Billy Ray and Tish have tried talking to Miley, but she tunes her parents out and they agree their daughter is more likely to respond to Dolly and her legendary friends
* Angelina Jolie blamed her ugly divorce with Brad Pitt for dashing her dreams to direct movies -- she and Brad split in 2016 and the two have been locked in a mudslinging legal slugfest ever since -- Angie says she love directing, but she had a change in her family situation that's not made it possible for her to direct for a few years and Angie, who last directed 2017's First They Killed My Father, said she needed to just do shorter jobs and be home more, so she kind of went back to doing a few acting jobs
Page 8: Shamed sleaze Matt Lauer has been snubbed by his old Hamptons crowd, and it's got the scandal-scarred scumbag down in the dumps and the super-rich who live and socialize in the fashionable high-society playground won't forget how Lauer was axed from his longtime Today gig over bombshell allegations of sexual misconduct and Matt's done everything he can to regain his place in the community, from hanging out in the village to splashing money around and tipping too well and he's convinced he can make a comeback, but snooty residents turn their noses up and it must be difficult for him because it's tough for anyone who wants to get in with this crowd but for Matt it's become almost impossible -- with scandal raging, Lauer's marriage to Annette Roque collapsed and they divorced in 2019 after a two-year separation and they share three children, daughter Romy, 17, and sons Jack, 19, and Thijs, 14, and Lauer has denied any wrongdoing and insisted his reputation was wrongly smeared in a media feeding frenzy intent on destroying him -- after his divorce, Matt hooked up with public relations guru Shamin Abas and the two have reportedly been pals for years and were first linked when Matt took her to his New Zealand home in December 2019 and Matt's friends are saying he's talking about a big Hamptons wedding when he and Shamin make things official, but it would be a failure if no one attends but Shamin has a lot of connections, so maybe that will help in time -- Matt's obviously an embarrassment in the area and he's not getting much joy at the swanky country clubs he likes to frequent either and it's clear to see that doors from many A-listers, like Martha Stewart, Gwyneth Paltrow and Scarlett Johansson, who have had ample time to put out the welcome mat and Matt won't be getting invites to their homes anytime soon
Page 9: Kourtney Kardashian is packing on the PDA with new boyfriend Travis Barker and insiders said her desperate bid to compete with her sisters has gone way over the top and ever since Kourtney and Travis first went public, the oldest Kardashian sibling has made it a point to post the couple's passionate romps in racy pics and videos on social media and people in her circle feel it's beneath her to advertise her personal moments like this and even her family thinks it's unflattering, but she's getting a kick out of showing off her wild side and Kourtney has been desperate to raise her profile to keep up with internet-savvy sisters Kim Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian, who promote themselves by posting incessantly and Kourtney was always more low-key, but now she thinks she needs to be outrageous to keep up but her friends and family say it's not who she is, and she should put a lid on the steam
Page 10: Hot Shots -- Alison Brie helped tend to newly planted trees in Malibu, Chris Rock tuned out the world with a set of headphones while walking in Miami, Dylan McDermott plays a bad guy on Law & Order: Organized Crime, Dancing with the Stars pro Sasha Farber buzzed around L.A. on an electric bike, Margot Robbie skating in Malibu
Page 11: Paula Abdul is filling in for Luke Bryan on American Idol, but she's gone crazy with fillers and Botox to the point where she can barely move her face -- 58-year-old Paula, one of the show's original three judges who left before the ninth season, jumped at the chance after Luke tested positive for COVID-19, but when she showed up for work, she was far from the familiar face everyone was expecting and she must have given her co-hosts quite a fright because her face is blown up like a balloon and her forehead has no lines and her eyes have no crinkling at the corners that you would normally expect on someone who's pushing 60 and people are saying she never did know when to quit and this time she's really gone overboard and it was a shame, since it's no secret she'd love to make a comeback on the show and she's still in fantastic shape, but it's kind of sad to see her fall victim to these Hollywood trends as she's a lovely lady and should leave well enough alone -- her heart-shaped face may predispose her to a slower aging process than longer facial shapes
* Jessica Simpson has plumped up her kisser, but one expert thinks her new inflated piehole would look better on a fish because she's gone overboard with filler in her lips and the end result is an unnatural and very unattractive look because the M-shape of the middle upper lip is distorted, creating a fishy appearance she surely wasn't going for
Page 12: Straight Shuter gossip column -- James Bond will be gunning for Top Gun: Maverick on movie screens in November, and Tom Cruise isn't happy -- moving the Top Gun sequel from July to November has left Tom shaken and stirred and no one is more competitive than Tom and going up against the new 007 film starring Daniel Craig has put the fear of God into him because Tom likes to win and coming in second is not an option so get ready for an all-out box office war between Tom and James Bond and this is going to get ugly
* Just out-of-the-closet Colton Underwood has been invited back to his old stomping grounds on The Bachelor but he won't be the new Gay Bachelor, but there's been talk about him returning to help contestants through the process -- he'll literally play the gay best friend who helps the straight contestants find love
* Bridgerton stud Rege-Jean Page won't be back for season 2, but crossing the show's powerful producer Shonda Rhimes was not smart because Shonda is not used to being told no, especially by an actor no one had heard of before she cast him -- Rege-Jean was naive about the business of Hollywood, but he's learning fast but saying no to Shonda is a move he's now thinking twice about
* Irina Shayk had her hands full during a photo shoot in NYC (picture)
Page 13: Racy reality series The Bachelorette has so disgusted some American viewers, they've flooded the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) with complaints and calls to yank the sexy show from TV -- according to documents, a season 16 dodgeball game that turned into a stripping competition among Clare Crawley's suitors in 2020 especially fueled viewers' rage, even though the aired footage was blacked out to protect the men's privates but the game was not over until one team was fully naked
* Matchmaker Olivia Newton-John is itching to play Cupid for longtime pal John Travolta as her Grease co-star approaches the one-year anniversary of the death of his beloved wife Kelly Preston and Oliva would like nothing more than to bring some joy and happiness back into John's life and she has lots of beautiful, fun-filled lady friends from the U.S. and Australia she could set John up with but he may not be ready for a new romance, and John himself has admitted mourning is individual and experiencing your own journey is what can lead to healing and John still hasn't gotten over Kelly's death yet and it feels like yesterday to him
Page 15: Tiger Woods' former mistress Jamie Jungers is dishing about her doomed 18-month affair with the then-married golf great and the fallout that triggered her harrowing spiral into drug addiction in a juicy new tell-all -- Jamie, 38, said she met the skirt-chasing links legend, now recovering from a shattered right leg after a February car crash, during her stint as a party host in Sin City and she claimed they kicked off a fling behind the back of his wife Elin Nordegren and Tiger would often fly his new squeeze to his L.A. home for their secret trysts and Jamie said she even once signed for a package at the newlyweds' pad that turned out to be wedding photos of Tiger and his bride, who divorced the sex addict in 2010 -- but it was not too hard for Jamie to convince herself the couple's marriage was on the skids because Elin spent so much time in her native Sweden and Jamie confessed she loved Tiger in a way but knew they'd never have a real relationship -- things came to a screeching halt when the tightwad millionaire refused to help her find new digs and Jamie kept her lips zipped about the hush-hush affair for three years, but she claimed her ensuing media appearances, in which she was dubbed Mistress No. 4, left her feeling humiliated, triggering a $500 a day pill habit that led to her getting hooked on heroin and meth and homeless Jamie endured failed stints in rehab, went through detox while behind bars and hit rock bottom before getting clean in 2018 and now sober, she said of her former flame she's not in love with him anymore
Page 16: Picky parents Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Baldwin have found one thing that's even tougher than raising six kids: finding the right nanny -- Alec and Hilaria have high expectations for prospective carers and exacting demands when it comes to their duties and Hilaria is so involved with the kids, so she's especially vigilant and has the final say when it comes to hiring and firing though Alec definitely has his checklist on what makes a good nanny and try as they might, they realize they can't do everything themselves and need help, lots of it, but it's been a logistical nightmare getting a team of nannies organized as Alec and Hilaria are tough on them and firm and long hours and multitasking are a must and of course they must be quick on their toes and know what to do with a cranky set of children without losing their cool and a good disposition, a clean and tidy appearance and the ability to step in last minute when needed are all prerequisites to be a Baldwin nanny -- Hilaria and Alec feel guilty about using more help than they initially thought they'd need and typically have at least two nannies on duty and they're doing their best to keep their home from becoming a nuthouse and stay sane and even when Hilaria and Alec are both home at the same time, they still need help changing diapers and doing endless loads of laundry, preparing meals and snacks and assisting homeschooling for the older ones and making sure they all get plenty of exercise and playtime -- it's been a challenge and they won't settle for anything but the most skilled nannies, and their friends can see the efforts are paying off
Page 17: Britney Spears has taken to social media to insist she's OK, but there are increasing concerns over the singer's state of mind -- Britney, 39, has shared bizarre Instagram posts showing her maniacally dancing and also bellyached that she's trying to learn how to use technology in this technology-driven generation, but to be totally honest she can't stand it -- the wacky videos followed the documentary Framing Britney Spears, which cast an unflattering spotlight on her troubled history amid her fight to have her conservator dad Jamie Spears removed from overseeing her personal and financial affairs and Britney, who has not had control over her own cash or major life decisions since her notorious 2008 breakdown, said the documentary's portrayal embarrassed her and brought her to tears and she cried for two weeks -- still, Britney reassured fans she's totally fine and she's extremely happy, she has a beautiful home, beautiful children, referring to her sons Sean, 15, and Jayden, 14, and although Britney, who's been coupled up with 27-year-old personal trainer Sam Asghari since 2016, insisted she's enjoying herself, she was caught on camera in Malibu appearing out of sorts and she looked a total mess and she looked like she hadn't brushed her hair in days and the truth is she's wracked with anxiety and she doesn't trust anyone in her orbit except her boyfriend
Page 18: American Life -- Like many dads, J.B. Handley couldn't understand his teenage son, but in this case, 18-year-old Jamison Handley is autistic and has not spoken a word since he was born -- using a breakthrough strategy called Spelling to Communicate (STC), J.B. discovered his son was hyper-intelligent and now Jamison is graduating from high school and will go to college to study neuroscience in 2022
Page 19: Newly single Kanye West is in the market for someone to cuddle with now that Kim Kardashian is out of the picture and the National Enquirer has decided to help him in his quest: Amanda Gorman, Bjork, Quay Dash, Marina Abramovic, Maria Cristerna
* While Kanye West is looking for a new lady to be his creative muse, his estranged wife Kim Kardashian sees the dating pool as the source of her next career move -- Kim has not been romantically linked to anyone since she filed for divorce in February and she's not dating anyone because, if she were, it would be a career move and Kim can't date quietly; she doesn't even understand what that would be like
Page 22: Katie Holmes and her boytoy beau Emilio Vitolo Jr. haven't been photographed together in more than a month, leaving people to wonder if the once snap-happy couple's romance is cooling off -- after being constantly caught on camera packing on the PDAs, the coosome twosome's vanishing act has sources suspecting work stress is taking a toll -- they're still together but things aren't anything like they were, and Katie seems pretty down and Emilio has been working long hours at his dad's restaurant, which was hit hard during the pandemic and that's meant less time for him and Katie to hang out and their romance may have gone from full boil to simmer
* Hollywood Hookups -- Danica Patrick and Carter Comstock dating, Zac Efron and Vanessa Valladares split, Madison LeCroy is dating a mystery man
Page 23: Lizzo stripped nude on social media for an unedited selfie to promote body positivity in all its glory and the 32-year-old defied the haters by bravely going makeup-free and wearing only her birthday suit -- she said she's letting it all hang out to encourage girls struggling with their self-image and self-confidence to embrace their natural beauty
* Bethenny Frankel plans to spend a whopping $10 million on her upcoming wedding -- she is set to wed Paul Bernon after she was spotted flashing a ginormous sparkler reportedly worth over $400,000 and movie producer Paul, 43, has given Bethenny, 50, carte blanche to spend whatever she wants so she's thinking 50,000 roses, champagne, gilt-edged glasses, a garden setting with fountains, dancers and a choir and Bethenny wants it to be perfect and she expects the best of everything
* Julianna Margulies has admitted things were hot on the set of ER, and it was because she and co-star George Clooney had a crush on each other and the chemistry on the beloved TV series between Julianna, now 54, and George, 60, was organic, she gushed in her upcoming memoir -- she also said when you create an environment that people feel safe in, then you do your best work and George taught her that and she felt so safe with him
Page 25: Troubled Tori Spelling is convinced having a sixth baby is the only way to bring her rocky 15-year marriage to Dean McDermott back from the brink -- Tori, 47, and Dean, 54, have been living separate lives for months and she has frequently been seen in public without her wedding ring and lately they've been more like brother and sister than husband and wife, but Tori is under the impression that another baby will give them a fresh start -- Dean has tried to repair their romance by taking on more dad duties and he even pushed for a recent family getaway to Palm Springs, where Tori socked her husband with the ultimatum to give her another baby or hit the highway and it's true they got along a lot happier when she was pregnant, but a lot of people think she's being delusional since they still have a lot of issues to work through and having another kid isn't going to be a magic fix and in fact, it may even add to their problems
Page 26: Cover Story -- Prince Harry's desperate bid to make peace with his estranged royal family exploded spectacularly when his father Prince Charles gave him an ultimatum to divorce Meghan Markle or you're out forever -- the secret showdown came after the funeral for his grandfather Prince Philip that forced family members to reunite for the first time following a year of bitterness and shocking allegations and any hope Harry had of mending fences and being welcomed back went out the window when he broke Queen Elizabeth's heart by snubbing her 95th birthday right after the funeral because he flew back to California the day before her birthday and it was the last straw for Charles, who was furious and he was stunned his son couldn't wait just 24 hours more to show respect for his grandmother and felt compelled to rush back to his pregnant wife Meghan and it would have meant so much for Her Majesty, who was still mourning her husband and needs all the comfort she can get but instead Harry headed back to his ritzy $14 mansion and Hollywood lifestyle, callously leaving his grieving grandmother on what should have been her big day -- the word is Meghan ordered him back as he'd been gone 10 days, their longest separation since they wed, and she didn't want his family playing mind tricks on him, trying to convince him he should return to the U.K. -- Charles confronted his younger son about snubbing Her Majesty during a phone call from his country getaway in Wales, where Charles was grieving his father Prince Philip and considering the future of the monarchy and Charles didn't mince words and he called Harry selfish and blamed Meghan for ripping the family apart and he bluntly admitted he and other royals, including the queen herself, were deeply disappointed and very angry by what the couple said in an explosive tell-all TV special and he couldn't believe Harry would agree to such a devastating interview without pressure from his publicity-obsessed wife or her advisors and Charles told Harry he was ashamed of him for turning his back on his family and breaking his grandmother's heart and Charles said he didn't believe Harry's marriage can survive long-term and suggested that Meghan was so ambitious, she'd dump Harry when something, or someone, better came along then he shockingly told his son he would only be welcomed back if he divorced that American actress and Charles insisted divorce was the only way to save the royal family and Harry himself -- Harry faced a great deal of frostiness from other members of the family after he arrived for Philip's funeral: Princess Anne, Prince Edward, his wife Sophie and other relatives didn't even look at Harry, they are so angry with him and Meghan, and Prince William and his wife Duchess Kate tried to put on a united front, speaking to Harry as they walked away from the service, but it was all for show as the queen had ordered a truce in the feud to avoid another public scandal, but family feelings are running very deep against Harry and Meghan for quitting royal duties and trashing the royals in their interview and the truth is if Harry doesn't divorce Meghan, this rift will never be mended
Page 36: Ellen DeGeneres confessed she'd swilled three cannabis-laced drinks and popped two snooze-inducing pills before driving wife Portia de Rossi to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy -- during an interview with Jimmy Kimmel, Ellen said she'd downed a commercial beverage containing the weed compounds THC and CBD and admitted she didn't feel anything and then she drank three, and she also took two melatonin sleep pills and she's lying in bed and realizes Portia is not in bed -- after finding Portia on all fours and in pain, Ellen claimed her adrenaline kicked in and she rushed Portia to the hospital
Page 38: Gwyneth Paltrow knows at least one person who is not a fan of her catalog of sex toys: her mom Blythe Danner -- while Gwynnie loves to bang the drum for frisky female fun by hawking vibrators, whips, handcuffs, genital-themed jewelry and even a candle called This Smells Like My Orgasm, her 78-year-old mother is always shocked by her raunchy online inventory and is very proper, but Gwyneth said even proper ladies have sexuality too -- although her mom is not lining up to purchase the BDSM starter kit or the $15,000 gold-plated dildo, Gwyneth remains committed to tackling taboos related to female pleasure, saying she thinks that our sexuality is such an important part of who we are and one of the things they really believe in at Goop is eliminating shame from these topics
* The Entourage crew might get back together, with Charlie Sheen joining the gang -- the creator of the bro show and 2015 spinoff movie said he may bring the boys back with his buddy Charlie in the reboot and Doug Elin says whether he would ever be in Entourage as Charlie Sheen or whether he would create a character for him, he would be all for it -- Charlie hasn't been seen on the big screen since a 2018 guest spot on Saturday Night Live
Page 42: Red Carpet -- Sofia Vergara
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shut-up-merlin · 4 years ago
Note
Hi i saw the prompt list and they are cool and i had a request feel free to deny them darling can you do 39 and 47 for drarry and if it's possible it will be harry who says this sentences to draco thanks sweetheart you can just ignore it❤
So... This got out of hand. I meant to go for a 500 word drabble, since I’d never actually written anything for Drarry before. 
Then somehow I ended up with this 2k chapter, research about the UK juvenile delinquency system and me memorising the map of the London Zoo... Oh and I may have possibly written an outline for three or four more chapters... No joke. I’m not sure if I’ll ever end up finishing it, but I do like how this turned out! Stay tuned ;) 
If anyone else feels like sending me a prompt, the list is here. 
Prompts:
You are safe now. I am here.
At least let me clean it.
.
“Really Potter, staring at the penguins again?”
Harry rolled his eyes. Of course he’d been caught staring at the little dweebs again. And of course it had been the Malfoy prat  who’d found him. 
Harry had interned at the London Zoo ever since he was old enough to apply for a summer job. He adored spending his time around the animals, adored seeing how they all had their unique personalities and little quirks. He’d spent summer after summer cleaning out cages and feeding all sorts of wondrous creatures. Harry volunteered to take up extra shifts whenever he could and would often spend his time around the animals’ enclosures long after he’d been done for the day.
Animals, Harry found, were easier to be around than people. Much, much easier. As if to prove a point, one of the most difficult specimens to have in his vicinity, had just shown up. Harry sighed and turned around.  
“Anything you need, Draco?”
“That’s Malfoy to you, Potter.”
“Sure, Draco, whatever you say,” Harry retorted, trying not to show his amusement at the blond’s scowl.  “You done for the day then, yeah? Need me to sign your papers?”
“Yup. Only twenty more days to go. I’ll be done with this shit.”
“Trust me, I’ve been counting the days, same as you, mate.”
“Not your mate, Potter.”
Harry couldn’t agree more. He didn’t respond and just walked off towards the administration tower. Whether the blonde followed him or not really was none of his concern. Harry badged into the admin tower so he could fill out Draco’s forms.  
COMMUNITY PUNISHMENT AND REHABILITATION, the document read.  
Harry signed his name next to today’s date and checked the necessary boxes. He hesitated when he had to rate Malfoy’s dedication. His hand hovered over the box labelled “adequate” for a moment, but then he ticked “outstanding” instead. Even though the boy was an utter twat, Harry didn’t really feel like putting him in a bad spot. Unlike other kids who had been ordered to perform their community services here by the juvenile court, Draco actually did his job while he was here. He didn’t slack off and was kind to the animals.  
Harry remembered when another boy had been executing a community sentence, a few years prior. They had found out he’d been twisting the warthogs’ tails. They’d kicked him out immediately, but to this day poor Mathilda still didn’t trust anyone who entered her enclosure. Harry wondered what happened to the guy. Nothing good, he hoped.  
“What’s got you frowning, Potter?”
Harry hadn’t realised he was. “Oh, nothing. All done. Here.” He handed Draco a piece of paper to prove he had actually been there today. Draco took it and quickly put it away, before heading towards the door. He turned around to look over his shoulder, his hand already on the door knob.  
“You’ve never asked why I’m here. Everyone else has. Why?”
“It really isn’t any of my business, is it?”  
“Yeah. No. I guess not.”  
If Harry didn’t know any better, he would have sworn the corners of the blond’s lips turned up a little before he left.  
Harry had wondered what had brought Draco here. He didn’t seem like he was looking for trouble. Didn’t make you check if your wallet was still in your pocket whenever he passed you in a corridor either. If Harry didn’t know better, he’d have thought the other boy had walked into the staff room by accident after getting lost during a school trip, really. Sure, he hadn’t actually said anything nice to Harry or any of their co-workers since getting here, but he had been polite to the visitors, which was more than most comm kids, as the staff referred to them.  
Harry glossed over tomorrow’s schedule before gathering his things. Oh, sweet. They’d put him in the Northern part of the zoo in the morning. That meant he’d be on duty when it was time to feed the lions. Harry checked the others’ schedules. Looks like they’d paired him up with two interns. Neville and... Draco. Great.  
Normally they only paired the interns up with regular staff members, but Harry had been here for so long that most of the regulars asked him what to do anyways. Harry loved how much faith the Zoo’s director had showed him over the past couple of years. Minerva never really showed anyone much warmth, but Harry knew she appreciated his work. Just this once, however, he wished she didn’t trust him to do a good job, because it meant he’d have to spend a day listening to the blond prat’s insults. Just great.  
The next morning, Harry’s suspicions were confirmed before he’d even entered the changing rooms. He Malfoy’s sneers from down the corridor. Judging by the stuttering response he got, Harry assumed they had been directed at Neville.  
Harry quite liked Neville. The boy was a bit younger than he was, and it was his first ever summer job. He wasn’t very good at it, though, but Harry blamed it on a streak of bad luck that somehow followed the kid around. Whenever he was hauling around bags of animal feed, one was bound to tear or he’d trip over his feet. A few days ago, when the kid went out for hay for the zebra’s once, a giant spider had climbed out, causing him to drop the bale, leaving straws everywhere.
 It was almost endearing, really, if it hadn’t been for the fact that Neville was a total clutz, so whenever he tried to tidy up the mess he’d unknowingly created, he usually ended up making a bigger one that required Harry or whoever was on duty to help him fix it. Whenever he got nervous, Neville’s clumsiness seemed to amplify. A day with Neville and Draco, Harry thought to himself, would definitely prove interesting to say the least.  
“... managed to teach you how to dress yourself, for crying out loud,” Harry heard when he entered the room, to find Neville attempting to do up the buttons of his overalls. His hands were trembling so severely, he couldn’t quite manage. 
“Good, you’re ready, Draco. We need someone to go fetch the meat from the kitchens. I’ve been told it’s done,” Harry said, in an attempt to get Draco out of here so Neville could calm down a little, at least.  
Draco eyed Harry up and down and left with a knowing smirk on his face. “Whatever you say, Potter. I’ll leave you and your boyfriend to it.”  
Harry rolled his eyes at the pathetic insult and turned towards Neville as soon as Draco had left the room. “Don’t mind him. He’s a twat.”
“Oh, yeah I know. It’s just that he... I don’t really...”
“Whatever he said, don’t pay it any mind. He gets off on tormenting people.”
“I didn’t mean anything by it either,” Neville mumbled.
“What’s that?”
“I... I just asked if he needed some ice or something to put on his bruise. It looked like it hurt.”
Harry shot him a questioning look.
“On his side. He looked like... like he’d gotten beaten up or something.”
They didn’t say much after that. Neville calmed down enough to get dressed and by the time they got outside, Draco had returned with a wheelbarrow full of meat for the big cats. He did seem to favour his left side, Harry noticed.  
Without asking the blonde’s permission, Harry took the wheelbarrow from him. They took the staff’s passageways and followed the arrows that read “Land of the Lions”. None of them said a word. Neville fumbled with the sleeves of his overall on the way there.  
Neville didn’t trip on the way to the enclosure. He didn’t push over any garbage bins, didn’t lose a shoe or walk straight into a bush instead of taking a turn. Harry should have known, honestly. He should have known that just meant Neville’s bad luck was saving itself for something big later on.  
And it did.  
Harry, Draco and Neville stood on the platform overlooking the Land of the Lions, where they fed the lions their breakfast. Harry did, rather. The others weren’t allowed this close to the platform’s edge.
Harry was about halfway through the wheelbarrow’s contents when he noticed one of the hams Draco had brought was still wrapped in plastic. “Neville, hand me a pair of scissors, will you,” Harry mumbled under his breath, so the spectators couldn’t hear.  
Harry shouldn’t have asked him.  
In hindsight, Harry probably should have asked Draco. Or he should have gotten up and grabbed the scissors himself. Or he should have just tossed the ham in, plastic and all. 
But that’s not what happened.  
Harry had asked Neville to hand them to him. And Neville did, only to trip over his feet on his way back. He tumbled over, his limbs going in every direction... until his leg hit Draco in the back of his knee. The boy lost his balance.
And fell. 
Harry didn’t realise the scream he heard was his own, when he saw Draco fly over the edge of the platform. The loud crash was followed by the screams of the spectators.  
“Draco, the ladder!” Harry shouted, already dashing towards it himself.  
He leaned over the edge only to find Draco was having trouble hoisting himself up. His left side had been hurt, Harry remembered, when he saw how the boy tried to pull himself up on the ladder using only his right arm. He had a gash in his forehead, Harry noticed. Blood was running over his cheek onto his overalls.  
The lions had been startled by their unexpected visitor, but Harry could tell by the way the lionesses started to circle around to where Draco was, that it wouldn’t take long before they’d get over the surprise.  
“Fuck it. I’m an idiot,” Harry muttered to himself, when he swung his leg over the edge and started to climb down the ladder.  
“Neville, call Dean. Now!” Harry shouted. “Tell him to open the sleeping den and keep his hand on the button so he can close it when we get in.”
Neville looked baffled.  
“NOW!” Harry shouted. He didn’t look back to see if Neville did as he told. There really wasn’t any time.  
Harry hurried down the ladder, straight into the enclosure. His heart pounded between his ears. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.  
When he reached the bottom, he saw Draco was even paler than usual, his grey eyes filled with panic. They didn’t have time for this. “Draco, listen to me. You need to calm down. You’re safe now,” Harry said. “I’m here. But we can’t stay here for much longer. When I tell you to run, you run! Got that?”
Harry assumed the whimper that escaped Draco’s throat meant yes. He grabbed the other boy’s hand and tried to look through the bushes, tried to figure out where the pride’s alpha, Neytiri was. When he saw her, Harry shouted at the top of his lungs, grabbed the nearest rock he could find and threw it at Neytiri as hard as he could. “Run!” he yelled and he dragged Draco behind him. He ran towards where he knew the entrance of the sleeping dens was, praying Neville had reached Adam. Praying that they’d get there before... It was open!  
“Faster!”  
Harry heard a snarl behind him. Neytiri must have gotten over her surprise. Shit.  
Shit!  
They were almost at the den. So close.  
He heard the thuds of lioness’ paws on the ground behind them. Closer. She was closer.  
When they made it to the den, so did Neytiri. Harry pulled on Draco’s arm and dove into it, right as the barrier started to close again. They both crashed into the wall in the back of the den.  
Neytiri snarled and clawed at the barrier.  
Harry manhandled Draco towards the small door in the back of the alcove and almost lost it when he saw it swing open.  
“Neville, thank god,” Harry breathed. “Help me get him to first aid.”
“...’m fine, Potter,” the blonde mumbled.  
“You’re not. You nosedived into a pride of lions, you idiot.”
“...No doctors.”
“Whatever.”
“Harry, please.” Draco squeezed Harry’s hand. Harry hadn’t realised he’d still been holding it. He looked down into the pleading grey eyes and hesitated.
“You’re bleeding, you hurt your head. At least... at least let me clean it?”
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courtof-storms · 4 years ago
Text
The Tavern, part 2
Previously: 1
------ ------
By the time Cagliostro and Ral arrived at the table everyone in the tavern was watching them. Some watched in confusion, others in rage, with only a few watching just wanting to learn something. Alexandrea sat at the table, their expression all kinds of pissed, in contrast to Ral who despite his best efforts to hide how he felt, was scared as he sat down with Alexandrea. Cagliostro was more unnerved than anything as she approached and sat with them both, carrying a tray of three glasses full of water as she set one down in front of everyone before herself.
“Ok, you said you’d tell me your guys’ deal when we got here. We’re here, now spill.” Cagliostro said, her voice firm as she took a seat at the table. Ral folded his scarf up and put it in his pocket before taking a sip of the water Cagliostro brought as Alexandrea more or less ignored the drink as they were still angry.
“Well I am Ral and they are called Alexandrea of the Court of Storms.” Ral informed, gesturing to Alexandrea as he spoke. Everyone present in the tavern regardless of how they felt before was as quiet as the dead when they heard mention of the Court of Storms. One patron raised his hand to ask a question but it was pulled down by someone else.
“Aren’t you her brother, shouldn’t you both be of the Court of Storms?” Cagliostro asked, noticing Alexandrea’s silence but not pressing them on it. Ral sighed.
“I am not their brother in that aspect. I am their brother because we are both Risen, and both were brought back by the Demoness.” He stated. The air of the tavern turned tense as he spoke of the Demoness, causing some of the patrons to get up and leave out of fear of the same Demoness Ral spoke of. Even among the trio Alexandrea got really uncomfortable with the mention of her as they brought their legs up close to their chest and held them tight.
“Oh...the one who-”
“Can we stop talking about her?” Alexandrea asked, interrupting Cagliostro’s question. The tiefling woman looked to Ral who gave her a solemn nod as he had another drink of water.
“Ok...how about this, you said she doesn’t have her memories, what do you mean by that?” Cagliostro asked, gently reaching over and placing a hand on Alexandrea’s shoulder, letting them know that they were safe.
“Well, depending on how you rise, it’s possible you either remember everything from before you died, or have no memory of what happened before death.” Ral said, finishing off his water before getting up with his now empty glass and Alexandrea’s still full water and bringing them to the bar.
“Do you have any coffee and maybe some juice?” He asked Sly.
“Uh...yeah I do, give me like five minutes to brew it and I’ll bring it to you.” He replied, taking the glasses and putting them down behind the bar before starting to brew the coffee. Ral smiled and went back to the table.
“As it happens I kept my memories from before but that came with me being no more than a crazed beast. Alexandrea kept their sanity after rising but lost their memories." Ral told Cagliostro with Alexandrea nodding as he spoke.
"Interesting. Is it ok if I ask what you did before dying Ral?" Cagliostro asked, taking out a notebook and pen to take notes.
"I was a battlemage, taken from my parents at birth and raised by head guard of the nobles to be a soldier." He said, lightly scratching his palms as he spoke. Cagliostro sat and took notes as Sly brought coffee and juice to the table.
“Thank you.” Ral told him with a small smile before reaching into one of his pockets and bringing out a small phial of blood, stirring it into his coffee and having some. Alexandrea’s eyes lit up when they saw the juice and instantly reached for it, drinking half before putting it back down on the table with a giant smile on their face.
“May I ask what that substance you put in your coffee was?” Cagliostro asked.
“It was blood, it uh, it’s what we live on.” Ral told her.
“Oh, does Alexandrea…?”
“I do but I don’t like drinking it as much as Ral says I have to. Why should I when meat is much more tasty? Speaking of.” Alexandrea told the tiefling before getting up and walking over to the bar.
“Can I get a plate of meat as big as you’ll give me?” They asked Sly, their eyes barely above the bar counter when they were on the tips of their toes.
“Sure, uh, how do you like it?”
“Just barely cooked.” They said, Sly nodded as Alexandrea walked back to the table.
“So...you both drink blood. Where do you get it from?” Cagliostro asked.
“Before I got my sanity back I drank it from the living. I uh, I hunted people in the night, trailing them back to their homes and feeding off their families so as not to leave anyone around to speak of it…” Ral replied, feeling more and more uncomfortable as he spoke about how he was when he first rose and wishing he could just block it out.
Once he finished talking the entire tavern looked at him in fear with a few leaving, the one who tripped Ral being one of them. Sly dropped a knife as he listened to Ral speak and Cagliostro looked stunned, her quill had stopped moving and her expression was of pure shock.
“Uh...what do you do now to get blood?” Cagliostro asked, not exactly wanting to know the answer.
“I found an apothecary who understood my hunger and he collects blood from his healthy patients and sells it to me.” He took another sip of his coffee and saw that Cagliostro’s expression had gotten even more worried along with the shock she already felt. “He doesn’t kill his patients if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Cagliostro let out a sigh of relief as Sly came back to the table, carrying a large plate of meat and setting it down in front of Alexandrea. Their eyes practically sparkled at the sight of the food.
“Thank you!” They exclaimed, wanting to dig into their food at that second but Ral had placed a hand on their shoulder and stopped them. They pouted a bit but took his lead and didn’t eat the food right away.
“That’s good at least. Uh, Alexandrea, are you good enough to answer a few questions?” Cagliostro asked them.
“I think so.” They replied.
“Where did you get your armor from? That symbol it has on it is from...well centuries ago.”
“I rose wearing it and a cloak that had my name on it.” They informed. Cagliostro reeled back a little at that response.
“You rose with it? That’s...no that means you’re from the second Empiric War…” Cagliostro sputtered, looking through her notebook to try and find something that could explain how that was possible. Sly came back to the table and gently laid a hand on Cagliostro’s shoulder.
“You’re a bit freaked out right now, I don’t blame you but I know how you get. Why don’t you make those sweetcakes your mother showed you...I know it helps you calm down little girl.” He told her in a calm and reassuring voice. The tiefling woman nodded, putting their notebook and quill down on the table as she got up and made her way to the kitchen, still a bit on edge. Sly took her seat at the table and took a deep breath.
“Was it something I said?” Alexandrea asked, their voice filled with worry for their new friend. Sly shook his head.
“No, she’s just confused and unable to figure out how it’s possible you rose from the grave after 500 years and looking not like a ghoul.” He said.
“That is something I asked the apothecary.” Ral spoke up, holding his coffee mug in his hands and letting it warm them.
“What did he say, miss?” Sly asked Ral. It was now Ral’s turn to recoil a bit but...that shouldn’t bother him, at least he thinks so.
“Uh…”
“Ral is my brother, not my sister.”  Alexandrea said plainly with an expression that said Sly shouldn’t make that mistake unless he wants to pay a very painful price. Somehow Alexandrea’s words calmed Ral...but he shouldn’t have felt that he was uncomfortable being referred to as a woman, at least he thought so.
“He said it most likely has to do with the Demoness. Current line of reason is she fed on us and that helped to preserve our bodies for an abnormally long time.” Ral replied, taking a long drink of his coffee. Sly nodded in response.
“Do you have an idea as to why it took you so long to come back?”
“The plane of death is a maze of pain and torturous traps...one which I wish I could forget.” Ral said as a shiver ran down his spine. Sly raised a hand to try and ask a follow up to that but thought against it as he saw Ral’s expression drop. Sly turned his attention to Alexandrea who was eyeing their plate of meat with a ravenous gaze.
“Alright, Alexandrea, I have something I’d like to show you. I think it has something to do with your past, is it ok to show you?” Sly asked Alexandrea. They nodded in response.
Sly got up and walked to a bookcase in the opposite corner of the table they were at and came back after a few seconds with a medium sized chest in hand. He set it on the table before sitting again.
Alexandrea looked at Sly with an expression asking him if they could open it, he nodded in response. They reached out and picked up the chest, noticing it had the same symbol on top that is on their breastplate as they opened it up, revealing a portrait of a squad of soldiers who stood in front of a foreboding fortress. They looked it over, noticing all of the squad had the same symbol Alexandrea wore and they noticed the plants that bordered the five warriors. It was lucious and a vibrant green and blue with ivy on each side that held black roses in full bloom, and lillies that were a deep purple looking a lot like the flowers that bloomed before the peaches did in the main city. Alongside the roses were some ashes that seemed to be falling from the sky and some blue apples on the ground. A few crows were in the sky and flying in front of the moon in the sky which caused them some confusion. They thought the trees were sacred and you weren’t supposed to cut them down, at least that’s what Ren and Kellin told them.
They shrugged their confusion off as they focused on the fortress. It had an odd look to it, much different from the normal buildings that are prominent in the realm. The fortress looked to have a gate at the main entrance that was connected by large chains at the top of the gate and one more thing that stood out to them was it looked like it was made of a dark blue, almost purple stone. Another thing that made it stand out was the windows it had were covered by a black wood that had dark green accents.
After taking in everything but the people in the picture they shifted their focus to them and they didn’t study most of the people in the picture save for one on the far left. It was a tiefling with sharp and twisting horns coming from their forehead with long purple hair tied in a braid that fell over their right shoulder. The tiefling also had piercing green eyes and they had a slightly cocky smirk with their left arm wrapped around the black handle of a scythe with a black and red blade. Alexandrea looked a bit closer before the realization of what they were looking at dawned on her, they were looking at themself from before. Sly and Ral watched them, waiting for their reaction before saying anything.
“Who are these people?” They asked in a small voice, hardly more than a whisper as they put the picture on the table and looked around in the chest, finding little more than a diary, another cloak like the one they had from before their fight with Elise, and a dagger. The dagger had a curved sheath and a straight dark blue handle with a black hand guard separating the blade and the handle. The blade was silver with serrated edges on the cut side and polished to a mirror shine even to this day.
“They are one of the squads that helped take that elven fortress. It was a battle that took five days and gave the rebels a leg up before the final battle. My grandmother was the leader of that particular squad in the center.” Sly informed, pointing at the woman in the center.
“Who’s that?” Alexandrea asked, pointing at the tiefling on the far left.
“If you were a normal patron I’d say it’s most likely your grandmother but since you rose with that armor on...I’d hazard a guess that it’s you.” Sly said, scratching the back of his neck.
Alexandrea was confused at what he said for a few seconds before their eyes widened in surprise and they freaked out, getting up from the table and looking around for something, anything reflective and big. They rushed to the door and saw a shield that was good enough, grabbing it and bringing it back to the table before picking up that picture again and holding it up to the shield next to their face. The more they looked at what the shield was showing them the more distressed they got. Sly and Ral picked up on Alexandrea’s reaction and while Sly was confused, Ral was worried about his sibling. He got up and made his way to their side, gently placing a hand on their shoulder and looking down on them with concern plastered all over his face.
“You ok?” Ral asked. Alexandrea looked up to him, their face a mix of confusion, worry, and sadness.
“Th-that’s not me...it can’t be.” They said, their voice smaller than a whisper as their eyes slowly started to water.
“What’s not you?” Asked Cagliostro as she set the treats down on the table and made her way to Alexandrea’s side. Once she saw the picture they were clutching she understood.
“How is it not you?” Ral asked, confused.
“I’m...I’m not a woman.” They said as they did their best to swallow their feelings but failed miserably. Cagliostro and Sly were confused at that reply and both of them cocked their heads to the side.
“You are though, your body is quite maidenly even under your armor.” Cagliostro said, wanting to say something else but stopping herself. That remark was what broke Alexandrea as they finally started crying. Tears flowed down their face like a rainstorm and their wails were like those of someone who just lost someone.
Cagliostro instantly realized just how much they messed up and looked worried about what all they could do to calm Alexandrea down. She looked to Ral and he just gave her a look of understanding as he got a chair from nearby and sat next to Alexandrea, looking at what he saw in the shield and noticing just how he looked.
The bandages that held his chest up were used to help make a torch and his chest was much more pronounced than he preferred. His brown hair was cut short and still looked just as messy as it did when he woke up and his purple eyes showed his worry. He shook his head and took off his scarf to actually get a look at his face. He saw his cheekbones were really pronounced and jawline made his face look more round and friendly. Was the Demoness right, was he really just a maiden imitating a man? He shook his head again and put his scarf back over his face, he’d deal with those thoughts some other time.
Cagliostro knelt down next to Alexandrea and comforted them as best she could. She ran her hand up and down their back and hummed a small lullaby she remembered from her childhood, resting her head on their arm as she did so. Ral slowly got up and gently took the shield from Alexandrea and put it back next to the door.
“Where did you get that picture?” Ral asked Sly, his voice cold and eyes narrow.
“I got it from my grandmother, she lead the squad the lady was on.” He replied.
“That’s a load of naga shit.”
“What was that?!”
“I said it was naga shit. The rebels didn’t have the kind of alchemy to make something like that. That was something hoarded by one of the noble families, so I’ll ask you again. Where. Did. You. Get. That. Picture?” Ral spat at Sly, slowly making his way towards the man, summoning some blood from the phials on his waist and forming it into a dagger before holding it up to Sly’s throat. Sly held his hands up in self defense and was nervous, his eyes wide in fear as he started sweating and breathing shallow.
“I-I got it from…” Sly started, wanting to double down on what he said before feeling the dagger lightly cut his throat with Ral meeting his gaze, almost tempting Sly to continue lying to him.
“Ok fine, it wasn’t from my grandmother! She isn’t even in that picture!” Sly shouted, finally telling the truth. Ral was satisfied with the truth and removed the dagger from his throat. Sly started breathing heavily and put a hand to his throat, feeling a bit of blood from where he was cut. Cagliostro stopped humming and looked over at Sly, still gently rubbing Alexandrea’s back as they stopped crying and sat trembling.
“What are you talking about? You told me all my life that was your grandmother?” She asked.
“”I’d like to know what you have to say, so talk before I remove your tongue.” Ral said, his voice was more level and calm now than ever today. Sly looked to his daughter, then to Ral and sighed.
“It came from my aunt. She was in charge of that noble family you were talking about…”
“Why don’t you tell us the name of that family?” Ral said, his expression cold.
“DelTacia…” Sly said quietly. Ral took a step closer to Sly.
“What was that? I didn’t quite hear what you said.”
“It’s DelTacia!” Sly yelled. Cagliostro was stunned at the knowledge as Ral smirked a bit under his scarf.
“What? You’re a noble?” Cagliostro asked.
“Not anymore, his mother was kicked from the family.” Ral informed. Sly was now pissed and made his way to the elf.
“How do you know about all of this, you elven imperialist whore?” He spat at Ral who quickly made his way to Sly and grabbed him by the throat, picking him up off the floor.
“You call me that again and I will rip your throat out here and now, you got that?” He said with the same calmness one would have while reading a good book.
“As far as how I know that, I was raised to be a battlemage for that family of scribes. I know your mother was disowned for siding with the imperialists while the rest of the family sympathized and assisted the rebels.” Ral informed before dropping Sly, letting the man crumble to the ground and coughed for a minute to try and catch his breath. Cagliostro was stunned at that, giving Sly a look that asked if what Ral said was true. Sly gave her a look that confirmed what Ral said was true. Her heart and expression sank as she got up and went behind the bar counter to get a basket and brought it to the table.
“Wait, little girl…” Sly started. Cagliostro ignored him as she went upstairs. Ral went next to his sibling and gently rubbed their shoulder. Alexandrea looked up at Ral and rubbed their eyes.
“You ok?” Ral asked them, they nodded and wiped their eyes as they looked around for Cagliostro, slowly starting to get nervous as they couldn’t find her.
A couple minutes after she left, Cagliostro came back down the stairs with a bag packed to bursting slung over her shoulder and started putting some of the food that was still on the table and putting it into the basket she had already put there.
“Little girl, what are you-”
“Stop talking Sly, you lied to me about my grandmother, about who my mother is, even about my magic. If you want me to start listening to you ever again then you have to stop lying as easily as you breathe.” Cagliostro cut him off as she finished packing up the food and made her way to the door. Alexandrea and Ral got up and followed her to the door, with the three of them leaving once they were together as Sly watched them, dejected and with tears slowly forming in his eyes.
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rpmemesbyarat · 4 years ago
Conversation
RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 5 "Pumpkin Patch" (Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)
The theme was "Let Them Eat Cake," so my dad bought me this foreclosed McMansion down the street, and, like, 500 of my closest friends came dressed in 18th century attire, and, oh, the pool was filled with this, like, caviar slurry. And then at midnight, we just burnt the house down. When the firefighters came, they were actually strippers, and they put out the fire with champagne.
So walk me through this, honey.
Well, as you can see, every pumpkin in the patch is artisanal.
Then we move past the ice sculptures of demonic peeing cherubs, and yes, they will all be peeing vodka and Red Bull.
I'm sorry. Corn maze?
It's just that doing an exact replica maze from The Shining would have taken us way over budget on man power alone.
I told you money was no object.
Well, apparently, one of them died or something.
Do you have any idea what's at stake here?
Okay, well, it's not my fault that some guy died in the '70s.
I am tired of your sad-sack, I'm-a-total-downer-all-the-time schtick.
I'm over it!
Oh, my God, why are you so depressed?
Why do I have to be the homely one?
Just a second, nutbag.
God, do I have to spell it out for you?
You're a weird, psycho lunatic who's gonna end up in an asylum somewhere, staring at a wall, trying to nurse a watering can.
That's it! I can't take this anymore!
That is such a Mary Todd Lincoln thing to say.
You scream "I'm done with you" kind of a lot, and yet you're still standing here.
I think you know you have a good thing going.
You get to bask in my starlight as I do all the work and you get to grumble behind my back about how disrespected you are.
There's the door.
There's the door, bitch!
You did not deserve to be spoken to like that. Ever.
That is bollocks!
Clearly this fake kidnapping is a play to get the sympathy vote. So Gone Girl.
This is the biggest candle night of the year!
I hate you right now!
Halloween is the greatest night of the year. Greatest night. Because on this night, even kind of shy, kind of homely girls dress up like total sluts. I mean, every costume is just a slutty version of something. Slutty teacher, slutty nurse, slutty nun. I saw a girl last year dressed as slutty al-Qaeda!
See, Halloween it's a night for dudes with killer bods to walk around with our shirts off. And it's totally appropriate, as long as we call ourselves gladiators, Chippendales.
I have no idea how you got into this college.
Look, we'll just hang out and play charades!
This cannot be happening!
Hey, what about Black Hairy Tongue Disease? I mean, does nobody here care about Black Hairy Tongue?
What about my pumpkin patch?
I blame you for this.
[NAME], nice boobs.
Join me in saying you are not afraid!
Just baking some cookies for the neighborhood trick-or-treaters.
Uh, they're toenail cookies.
Pink fur coats worn in all weather, my idea. Flapper dresses made out of feathers, also my idea. Oversized sunglasses worn everywhere, my idea, my idea, my idea!
So why are you baking toenail cookies and giving them to children?
Okay, whose side are you on?
I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I'm what you call
a "switch-hitter."
Wait, are you bisexual? Because that's what "switch-hitter" means.
Do you mean "double agent"?
What are you writing?
Do you know how big Halloween is in the candle community?
Is this an ant farm?
There's a mom ant, Deborah, who mostly just lies around and she has about 100 husband ants, who come around and give it to her good, which she really enjoys. And then there's about a million sterile daughter ants who feed her and are her slaves. So, an ideal family.
She'd win. And then I'd beg to be her second-in-command, while quietly pull the strings behind the scenes like Dick Cheney.
This plan involves a lot of circuitous logic.
Oh, my God! Those are, like, $100 each!
They're the highest quality candles that can be purchased retail.
What a brilliant and revolutionary idea.
Are you cheating?
This is a clear violation of the honor code.
You must be new here.
Who are you calling?
I'm gonna get you fired.
At least you wore something nice today.
Remember to smile for your mug shot.
I'm burping uncontrollably like Robert Durst.
They'll know I'm guilty!
I'm next in line and in charge here.
You can sum up my viewpoint on this with one word; indifference.
We are her only hope.
Sometimes, in order for a person to achieve their full potential, they have to do things on their own.
I am in charge here!
I love that you're a man.
This is the most sensual song ever written.
We need to do this right now!
I just saw her boobs.
Oh, a salad date is, it's like, it's more casual than dinner, but more formal than coffee.
Whose pants are these?
You know, you're a human being with feelings and needs, right?
Enough about me and my confusion and sad dead feeling inside.
It just really hurt my feelings.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure my so-called friends are the ones that turned me in so I'm just feeling, like, super alone right now.
Man, I am your biggest Instagram fan!
I just think you are a style genius.
I will never be able to repay you for the kindness you've shown me in here.
Besties for life, I say.
Your bail's been posted.
I knew you'd bail me out.
Can I just say what a relief it is to be able to share it with somebody and not feel judged?
You know, I mean, all my girlfriends are like, "That's immoral." "You should be ashamed of yourself!"
Ashamed? What the hell you got to be ashamed for?
You should be proud.
I could've lost my job.
I mean, it lasted, like, 45 seconds, and the whole time, it just felt like I was getting stabbed in the abdomen.
I tied him up and I kept my uniform on and proceeded
to read him his rights. My favorite being "You got the right to remain sexy."
Give me some!
You know he's sexy!
That was one of the best nights of my life.
Well, I've already contacted the police department, despite the fact that a person can't be considered "missing" until at least 72 hours has passed.
That's morbid.
I've already hired an investigator.
What, are you two a couple now?
What the hell are you doing?
You sold me down the river, bitch.
Wait, Gary Coleman's parents stole his kidneys?
I would never say that, because I'm pretty sure that never even happened.
Why does ratting me out sound like exactly something you would do?
You know, I've never thought of myself as a killer, but I am seriously considering ramming this pick into the back of your eye socket.
Maybe you'll get your head sawed off.
You have cameras in my room?
I have eyes everywhere, bitch.
The name of my future perfume is Revenge.
How is that something you just happen to know?
That is stupidest thing I've ever heard.
What's the password?
I just can't eat any more of these.
This ain't The Marriage Ref! This ain't Judge Joe Brown! We ain't on the Maury Show! We ain't standin' in line trying to get tickets to Dr. Phil! I am not Steve Harvey, people, and this ain't the Family Feud!
I'm tryin' to catch a killer.
Help me get the spy gear in the car!
How can you promise?
We're in a maze, you don't know where you're going!
I always knew it would come to this.
Why are we doing this right now?
I forgot the flashlights!
What am I supposed to do with this?
This is so creepy.
It smell like booty in here.
I'm getting a nervous feeling in my stomach.
I might start farting. If I cut some, you promise not to tell anyone?
Oh, my boob!
Stay where you are! I'll come and get you!
Ooh, this is nice.
It's really beautiful.
It looks like you just crossed some stuff out and wrote that in in marker.
Okay, can we talk about that for a second? Because it just happened a few hours ago, and I'm still really traumatized.
I need some cheering up right now.
Excuse me, darling, I'm exhausted.
Wait, we need to hear what happened to you.
Just wondering where you find a house with a pit. The market for them would be pretty limited.
Did you escape, or did you kill him?
I've always had a thing for bad boys.
That got way out of hand.
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norgestan · 3 years ago
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Hi! You haven’t posted much recently, but I loved reading your thoughts about eskam so much, so I decided to ask you: What were the last pieces of media like shows, movies or books that you enjoyed?
first of all: nonnie!!!!! you're a sweetie <3 i do randomly come up with new things to talk about eskam every now and then, and i still plan on doing the reviews for all other remake seasons. i am supposed to have more time from now on so let's see how that goes!
second of all, i don't really... watch media per se. like, i usually enjoy very mind-numbing, easy to swallow stuff like the marvel movies and stuff like that. my thing is more like, irl content. yes i've gone down the streamer rabbit hole. yes it is a disease.
but here are two pieces of media i've enjoyed lately!
3%
this one is a brazilian show in netflix that i randomly discovered while looking for shows to watch, many moons ago. the general premise of it is that everyone is born in the continent - a city drowned in poverty and violence, and once you turn 21, you have the chance to go through the process: a series of tests that dictates if you're part of the 3% who will move to the offshore. the offshore is in contrast an island where life is idyllic and simple, and concentrates both most resources of the country as well as the people deemed "worthy" of such lifestyle.
in general, the show provides a good social critique and what it means to be "deserving" of a quality life, but imo the strong suit of everything lies in its characters. i am honestly shocked by the amount of great characters mixed in there, especially women! for such a big cast of actors, they all have their own fleshed-out personalities, motivations and moments of growth. the large quantity of women in the cast also means that they are so different between them, and the writers are not even a little bit afraid of making them flawed and get them to fail. it's such a refreshing thing to see in an era of fake, profitable "female empowerment" in media. just as eskam, the show is four seasons long and exactly what it needs to be: i really liked how they carried the main cast and most of the side characters, and it gives them a really satisfying resolution as well. likewise, it does feel like it prioritizes characters over plot - which means plot is a bit wonky at times (esp during season 3) but that's how i prefer it and i really respect that the writers took that decision. when i finished it, i felt like it gave them all a fair ending and i've never felt the need for more content or even something different. i really recommend it if you're looking for good character writing.
undertale
(megalovania plays at 500% speed) yes, undertale. yes, fellow tumblr guy sans the skeleton. okay, now that we've gotten over that... god, i really appreciate what toby fox did with this game. while its fandom thrives nowadays for the mere concept of an underground and these characters existing, the og material is genuinely great and holds up still. undertale is meant to be a lighthearted game but it still tells a very nuanced story about grief, guilt and hope. not only that but it drags the played into this and kinda makes it a dilemma for them as well!
however, while i think the fourth wall breaking aspect of it is really neat and refreshing, the story is definitely the strong suit for me. the main 3 ladies of the game are also really unique and interesting characters: both toriel and alphys are flawed characters that have carried bad decisions on their backs for years and have been slowly losing hope for the future of their people, that go through arcs that i found surprisingly relatable. and undyne... well, undyne doesn't go through that much growth per se, but i find that her character is a really unique take on the strong female character archetype and i can see how depressingly boring she could've been in the wrong hands: in the game she is not only a very layered and entertaining character, but she's also the emotional core in multiple moments. i guess, what i'm trying to say is that, for a game that tells the story of a family of monsters who are also royals and have been banished and forced to live in the undergrounds, this story is surprisingly layered, mature and grounded. i also really respect that the game doesn't spoon feed you information or throws in a weird twist just to throw you off: there is a twist in this game, but i think it's carefully foreshadowed and it makes sense and adds greatly to the story. it definitely treats its audience with respect! to this day i still discover and realize more things about the characters and i love how thought-provoking it is. not to mention, it is a really fun game on its own and the music fucking slaps. give it a go if you haven't already!
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Live 2020 debate commentary from a salty, disabled, and VERY pissed gen Z
 Yall he just said he’s immune
My dad just left the room
Bitch are u saying Johnson and Johnson is going to make the vaccine?
sir that’s the diaper company…..smh
Biden just said its going to be a dark winter
#winter is coming
“virus.....that came from china” -trump 2020
“were learning to live with it”-trump 2020
apparently “Biden lives in his basement”-your president 2020
totally accurate.....obviously
ohhhh biden just said were learning to die with it
trump interrupted biden
Mam I thought you said you were muting them?
biden laugh count at 3
he all about the once percent till its the dead ones
trump interrupting at 3...nvm its now 4
this debate is making my dog sad
interrupting now at 5 for trump
trump saying his young sons illness just “went away”
bitch he’s may age and no it did not just “go away”
he was in quarantine for two weeks
apparently nyc is a ghost town 
its not a ghost town trump I live right next to it
loudest neighbors ever
trump don’t call him Anthony
his name is DOCTOR Fauci
treat him with the respect he deserves
Biden looks so sad
nvm he legit looks like the joker right now
HALFWAY MARKKK
why is this at 9?
sir its a school night
I need time to scroll through my feed for hours before collapsing
Biden don’t use the word sovereignty
trump doesn't know what it means
thats discrimination against trumps
ohhh hes attacking hunter (biden) again
so he has a wee drug problem?
at this point everyone got one!
your the one making lewd comments about your infant daughter on national tv
(look it up he talks about his 6 month old daughters legs but and breasts)
get him big b!!
h876689908776- my dog 2020
he wants to express his disappointment
the light boxs is stealing his mother attention
ohh hes being rude to the moderator again
u a strong independent Indian woman get him girll!
mute his mike
prty plz
I am dissapionted in you
he’s saying he’s not allowed to release his taxs
(that is a proven lie)
“i was put through a phony witch hunt”- you'll never guess 2020
hes going after his BROTHER now
how is this allowed?
who decided trumps strategy would be to accuse his opponent of his own crimes?
look at the insults guys its a crystal ball
stay ahead of the scandal's
WILL YOU LEAVE HIS SON ALONE PLEASE
THESE ARE HIS CHILDREN LEAVE THEM ALONE
“i was a business man doing business”-trump 2020
no sir you were another rich white guy taking advantage of tax brakes and cheap foreign labor in asia
#american jobs as long as i don’t have to pay minimum wage
#you know like a DECENT FUCKING PERSON
Trump interrupted again
I lost count a while ago
Biden is staring into my soul
oh Biden just played the middle class childhood card
I haven't heard a single mute so far?
trump just said his bromance with kim jung un saved america from nuclear war
dont through my boy Obama under the bus
and another interruption
my big bro just screamed “MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON”
honestly same
10 more min guys
hang in there
OHHH trump just got MUTEDDDDDD
Biden is now on legitimate policy 
ahhh hes proud of his plan
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annd trump just interrupted
trump just kissed up to the moderator
trump just said biden’s more liberal than bernie
ohhh
biden just said trump dosent know who hes running against
hes like “this is joe biden”
like I know bro but slick burn anyway
ohhh they muted trump again!!!!
perfect opportunity to mute missed
trump just blamed healthcare issues on nancy peloski
biden says the the republicans wont pass it
(btw hes actualy right)
2 mins left
and trump is speaking through it
1 min left
omg what a waste of air
I really want him to test his “immunity”
preferably during a harsh winter
ITS TEN GUYSSS
there running over
they still haven't covered immigration
shit
I have just learned there is 30 min left
I think I would rather kill myself than watch the rest of this
I’m seriously have a sensory overload right now
I’m doing this for u
“children are brought here by coyotes”-presedentail cown 2020
what a wack ass sentence
hes like ohIi haven't been putting kids in cages
and then just went but I didn't build them they were built in 2014
(contradiction much)
“who built the cages”
“who built the cages”
“who built the cages”
yes it was Obama but guess what
THEY WERNT BUILT FOR KIDS
there ment to house animals, evidence, and adult prisoners in emergency situations
THEY WERNT MENT FOR 3 YEAR OLDS
Biden was just like “well no actually kids come with PARENTS”
(kids hardly ever come over with out parents)
and then he was like and also WHO LOST TRACK OF OVER 1,000 PARENTS
(thats 500+ new orphans at the least)
hes saying only the illegal immigrants with the lowest IQs come back after being deported
we said the same thing in december about you but ya’know
my mum was like “anyone eating chocolate” and I was like “im snaking on this ignorance” and she was like “dont do that you'll get indigestion”
“no one has done more for the black community then Donald trump except for maybe Abraham Lincoln”
oh yeah Biden just brought up how trump publicly campaigned for the execution of the central park 5
WHO WERE CHILDREN
AND OH YEAH THEY WERE COMPLETELY INNOCENT
trump just yelled at Biden, got muted, and just yelled louder
trump just said he cant see the audience but hes the least racist person in the room
“Abraham lincoln here is one of the most racist presidents in american history”- biden 2020
biden just went “oh god”
he just said that he used to not support the blm movement because they chanted rude things about police officers
I would like to reiterate that “pigs in a blanket” has never been chanted in a protest or been a prominent statement in the blm movement nor “fry em like bacon” so what trump is saying is factually incorrect
unless hes on some sort of far right conservative twitter feed were he came across a video of some drunk white college kids chanting it 
but you know what ever fits you narrative
plus I would be pretty pissed if I kept getting shot at for no reason so....
Biden making more logical decisions
trump was like why have you never done all this stuff when you were vice president
“we had a republican congress” -biden 2020
we have the cleanest air
we have the cleanest crystal clear water
sir, i know you've been to mexico
don’t lie
the waters gorges down there
and not owned by your smug ass
trump just called china filthy
so you know....
*whispers* racism
ok 5 min left
for real this time
trump just went “aoc plus 3: and then hes like she knows nothing about the climate
ummm.... you dont even believe in climate change
bidens like “are....is...is is”
good for you
correcting your grammar
trump just said “the wind kills all the birds” out of the godamn blue
(he means wind mills and its untrue)
“Whats the next question baba”
“the final question is leadership which he doesnt have”- baba 2020
I feel bad for anybody watching this on the toilet
bidens starring into your soul
he knows what your doing
there officially overtime
its 10 33
they haven't even done the last section yet
btw ITS A SCHOOL NIGHT
why do they host these so late
I should be pretending to be asleep right now
this is generational discrimination
plus trumps supporters are so old there asleep by now
ohhhh its over
1036 final time
okay so thoughts....I generally dont like the party system i think its ridiculous the system was not designed for it, and its now more about loyalty then the actual candidates. I also am really hesitant to put another strait white male in the oval office, especially one thats from “the lucky few” I.E. the smallest voting generation in the country and also the one that already holds the most positions. That being said, at this point its really anyone but trump and I think bidens got the experience to turn things around. 
I AM IN SCHOOL I CANNOT VOTE. I am relying on all my older friends, followers, neighbors, and community members. To make an educated decision that wont further degrade the once hopeful future my generation awaits. Please if you can vote VOTE the kids are relying on you!
P.S. sorry i wasn't able to edit this earlier i struggle alot with spelling and didnt have the time to edit this because I HAD TO GO TO BED AND THEN GO TO SCHOOL. Why am I more politically active then people twice my age you might ask? Well, thats because adults are lazy and need to get of their gd asses and VOTE. So kids dont have to do the legwork for them. 
I have said my peace now, have a wonderful day!
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letterboxd · 4 years ago
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How I Letterboxd #7: Cinemonster.
Hooptober’s head honcho opens up to Jack Moulton about his love for Texas-born horror director Tobe Hooper, the joys of running Letterboxd’s most beloved Hallowe’en community challenge, and the “terrifying, magical” experience of seeing Frankenstein at the age of four.
“You can’t spell October without Tobe.” —Cinemonster
Cinemonster, known to his family and friends as David Hood, is a restaurateur in Pittsburgh by day, and the head honcho of Hooptober by night. Now in its seventh year, the horror film challenge sees participants set their own 31-day viewing agenda of 31 films, curated according to a list of criteria set by its creator.
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‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ (1974), directed by Tobe Hooper.
With over 5,000 films logged on Letterboxd and a growing collection of posters, DVDs, Blu-rays, laser discs and film memorabilia, Cinemonster is a literal monster of cinema. He has created more than 500 lists, including a ton of year, director, actor, actress, franchise and memoriam lists.
What brought you to Letterboxd? I found Letterboxd while I was doing a Google search for a horror film that I had forgotten the name of. I ran into a list that Hollie Horror had made and wound up starting a profile and it went from there. That would have been a little over seven years ago.
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How freakin’ cool is last year’s Hallowe’en Easter egg with the dripping blood from our logo? [Pro members get this added to their pages by mentioning #horror in their bio.] I’m a fan.
Unfortunately I haven’t heard of a single one of your four profile favorites! What’s urging you to highlight these films? They are just lesser-seen and have something good or great about them. Eyeball is a great little underseen Umberto Lenzi film. Death Machines is an awkward, weird and wonderful film with kung fu and blood. Massacre at Central High is one of my favorite films and sadly lacking a disc release of any kind—anyone who has seen Heathers will recognize a couple of things if they watch it. Rituals is a criminally underseen stalked in the woods film from the ’70s.
In this this list description, you explain how the original Frankenstein (1931) hooked you into horror at four years old. Can you describe what you most remember about that life-changing experience? It was both magical and terrifying. The space, the creature, the little girl. I had trouble sleeping for weeks afterwards. No matter where I am in the world, if there is a screening of Frank, I’ll go. I watched most of the major universals by the time I was six or seven. I saw Alien and Jaws 2 with my folks and those stuck with me. Cable and a local UHF station showing Hammer films on Saturdays are what really allowed me to get sucked in.
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‘Frankenstein’ (1931), directed by James Whale.
The horror films of 1980 and 1981 were the most impactful and are the ones that mean the most to me to this day; Fade to Black, Night School, Motel Hell, The Fog, Alligator, Altered States, Terror Train, Death Ship, Scanners, An American Werewolf in London, The Howling, The Funhouse, Dead & Buried, Hell Night, Wolfen, Ghost Story, The Pit and Evilspeak. I saw all of them five to ten-plus times on cable as a kid. They’re still all high on my list. I am glad that Fade to Black is on Shudder. People need to watch it. More relevant now than then.
What exactly provoked you to start Hooptober seven years ago? I moved into an old spooky house and had a backlog of Blu-rays to watch and the 4K of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre was about to come out. I’d done some interactive stuff on Letterboxd previously and had a decent amount of people involved. I was also at a point in my life where 31 films in 31 days is tough, as it is for a lot of us now. So I thought ‘Why don’t I do something that starts a little early, clears some of my list out, and has some parameters that don’t feel like I am handing out an assignment?’ I grew up in Texas, Tobe [Hooper] is close to my heart, and with all the Hooper I owned and the 4K coming out, I decided to christen it with his name. You can’t spell October without Tobe.
What’s the most members that have participated in a Hooptober? The number of people who participated was a little more than I expected, but that wasn’t what I was surprised by. I never thought of it as a recurring event until I started to hear from people the following summer about ‘the next one’. I just kinda chuckled after about a dozen people had asked and I said out loud to no one, “I guess I’m doing another one of these”. We are well over 700 this year, and still climbing.
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‘Fade to Black’ (1980), directed by Vernon Zimmerman.
Where do you get the ideas for the rules for films to consider watching? At this point, I look back at past years so that I don’t repeat myself. I look to the current year for inspiration. Is there a film from a sub-genre that was prominent? Was it a strong year for output from women, Mexico, Asia, Black filmmakers, something cultural, and so on? I may focus on effects creators, an actor or writer on a whim. I try to keep an eye out for blind spots I haven’t covered. Shudder, archive.org, the big streamers are all resources. Sadly, rarefilmm no longer exists.
In last year’s interview with Merry-Go-Round magazine, you mentioned plans to turn Hooptober into a film festival. How’s that going? In a post-pandemic world, how can we keep independent niche film festivals thriving? The world has not been agreeable, obviously. I’m not even sure how viable something like that will be next year. I’ve been taking a look at streaming options. Post-pandemic will require more creativity and outside-the-box thinking, and will probably continue to feed some drive-ins. Been a while since more than a handful of people wanted to put money into a drive-in, which is nice to see.
I’m going to do a tweet along to The Witch Who Came From the Sea in October, and I’ll give you an exclusive here: The George Romero Foundation and I are doing online Horror Trivia on October 11. I had been doing it live with them here in Pittsburgh until the pandemic.
Based on this year’s rules and conditions, if there was one essential you-can’t-miss film you could force all your participants to add to their challenge, which film would it be? Demons, Eve’s Bayou or The Witch Who Came From the Sea.
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‘The Witch Who Came from the Sea’ (1976), directed by Matt Cimber.
What have been your own greatest film discoveries through your Hooptober adventures? A Tale of Two Sisters, I Drink Your Blood, Blood Diner, and though it is a bit of a cheat to list this one, The Amusement Park. It’s cheating because it didn’t exist as something that I or anyone else could have watched, prior to when I saw it.
Do you have any acclaimed horror movies still lingering in your list of shame? Eyes Without a Face, Upgrade, Cure and Scream 4.
Have you ever completed one of your own Hooptober challenges yet? Errrrrrrrrr, one. I’m on track this year.
What about the participants over the years—any Letterboxd friends you’ve made who would you like to give a shout-out to? Aaron, Sarah Jane and Chris Duck are people that I talk to outside of Letterboxd. There have been a few others over the years. Slappy McGee has helped me with Hooptober the last two years. They are great. Javo and David Lawrence are pretty great, too.
Before Hooptober, many of your lists invited discussion with your followers. In what ways is Letterboxd the ideal forum to foster a community of film fans? Fans exercise their fandom in so many ways. The platform is so flexible that it allows you to utilize it in a small and personal way, in a promotional way, or to dive into the community pool and see who’s out there that shares something with you or can show you something. The more people that we are exposed to and listen to, we are all the better for.
Which of your review—from any genre—are you proudest of? The Invisible Man or The Hustler, probably. I have a capsule of Hud that I like.
So, you’re the horror guy. Nobody is denying that. You are Cinemonster, after all. But when I look at your top movies list and see that Singin’ in the Rain is your all-time number one, I’ll need you to explain yourself. I go back and forth between that and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. They are 1A and 1B in some order. Singin’ in the Rain is a perfect film and the studio system at its best. I will ignore your implied insult. ;)
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‘Fear of a Black Hat’ (1993), directed by Rusty Cundieff.
It’s true, even a horror aficionado needs some levity in their life. What other comedies pick you up from a dark place? Fear of a Black Hat always does the trick. Same with The Awful Truth, Murder by Death, Hollywood Shuffle, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Blazing Saddles, Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Black Dynamite.
Who has been keeping you company during this tough year? I have watched thirteen Spike Lee films so far this year. I’ve taken a break the last few months, but I’ll probably knock out five or six more. With the exception of 25th Hour, everything is a revisit. It’s been a joy to go back through everything. Crooklyn is much stronger than I remembered, and Bamboozled just gets better and more impactful as time passes. I have loved Spike since the day I saw School Daze. His films have always connected with things that are important to me and to those that have been around me. Lee is still grossly under-appreciated as a narrative film director and a documentarian.
We’re bowing down to your epic Blu-ray and DVD collection. Which ones are your most prized possessions? Make us jealous. I have an Anchor Bay DVD of Dawn of the Dead signed by the cast and George A. Romero, a steelbook of Battle Royale, the first Slumber Party Massacre set before they had to reprint the box, the original Star Wars trilogy on Blu. I’m sure there are things I’m not thinking of. I have a lot of out-of-print and laser-only stuff. I’ll never get rid of my Holy Grail, Ghostbusters and Akira Criterion laser discs.
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A selection of Cinemonster’s signed memorabilia.
I have a copy of Painting with Light signed by John Alton, John Waters and Steven Soderbergh I’ll send you a picture of. I used to collect movie posters, and I have the original Revenge of the Jedi one-sheet and the Drew Struzan Squirm poster. I do love those.
From your top directors list, let’s put one horror director on a pedestal. Who does the genre better than anyone else and why? George. They’re always topical, intelligent, thoughtful, personal and sometimes prescient. At their best they hold up both a mirror and a crystal ball. He was writing found-footage scripts in the early 70s, for god’s sake. Tobe is grossly under-appreciated. James Whale and Mario Bava could scare you in so many ways.
So, thinking beyond Ari Aster, Robert Eggers and Jordan Peele, which up-and-coming horror directors are you most excited about? Issa López, Gigi Saúl Guerrero, Benson and Moorhead, Shinichiro Ueda, Na Hong-jin, Julia Ducournau, Nia DaCosta, Jeremy Gardner and Leigh Whannell.
The 2010s were a great decade for horror. We have more money on-screen, moving away from the low-budget films of the 2000s. Which favorite horror film of the last decade inspired you the most? Get Out. What Jordan did for generations to come is unmatched in this century.
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Chucky from ‘Child’s Play’ (1988).
Which probably-too-long horror franchise gets too much flak and is top-to-bottom a great time? Child’s Play. Chucky has always been treated generally as second tier. [That franchise] has tried a lot of interesting and out-there things during its lifespan that had no business working, but did.
I know it’s been a slow year but you haven’t logged many 2020 movies yet! Which is your most anticipated horror movie of 2020 or 2021? Peninsula, for sure; I love Train to Busan. Then Candyman, The Dark and the Wicked, Grizzly II: Revenge, Bad Hair, #Alive, After Midnight, The Platform, Bulbbul, Underwater, Shirley and Swallow.
Interview by Jack Moulton. Follow Jack on Letterboxd.
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krreader · 6 years ago
Text
BTS scenario → you meeting ghost!bts in a haunted house.
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pairing: ghost!bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: non idol!au ; supernatural!au ; language ; mentions of masturbation ; mentions of sex genre: fluff ; crack ; hints of angst ; hints of smut 
a/n: I really really hope this is what you had in mind and that you like it love ♥
ask box | masterlists | faq | twitter | ko-fi | follower celebration | REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.
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kim seokjin
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“Haunted house,” you murmured to yourself in annoyance as you put down your sleeping bag in this dirty, old room, “I hate them for making me do this.”
“It's not that dirty, I just cleaned!” Jin said, his hands on his waist as if he was outraged by that statement.
“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” you immediately jumped to the side, so scared that you actually slipped and fell to the floor, staring at the guy who hadn't been here a moment ago. You would have noticed someone like him standing in your room, “Who the fuck are you?!”
“I'm the ghost that lives here, obviously. You can call me Jin. Or worldwide handsome. I'd like to think I'm still incredibly good looking, even after death,” he smirked.
For a second you just stared at him, then you furrowed your eyebrows and then you finally got up, crossing your arms over your chest, “Okay, which one of those fuckers set you up to this? Was it Tae? Emily? Or maybe Mark?”
“Are those your friends? I tried to say hi to them too, but one of them fell unconscious, the other one ran away and the third peed in his pants.”
Everything inside your body screamed to run too, but what came out of your mouth instead was: “Who peed himself? It was Mark, wasn't it?”
Jin grinned happily, “Do you want to see for yourself?”
Again, the intelligent option was to run, not to follow the ghost downstairs, but oh well.. that's what you did. You followed him.
And after that day, he followed you everywhere you went, because you actually ended up befriending him.
min yoongi
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“Who even still does these things? It's so stupid,” you mumbled, continuing to undress yourself until you were standing in front of the mirror only in your underwear.
“You'd be surprised how many people come here, but you're by far the hottest.”
You smirked, not looking up as you replied: “I told you not to spy on me, didn't..-” but when you looked at the person in your bedroom and it turned out to be not your friend, but someone you had never seen before, you let out a scream and pressed a shirt against your breasts.
“Ah come on.. you're blocking the view!”
“Who the fuck are you, creep?! Get out of here, or my friends will kill you!”
“I'm already dead, sweetheart,” Yoongi shrugged and continued munching on popcorn. Only that the popcorn seemed to fall right through him.
“Wh..- What?”
“It's a haunted house, idiot. It's haunted for a reason.”
“It's a rumor! These things are never true, there aren't any ghosts and especially not ones that look like you!”
“Look like.. me?” Yoongi wiggled his eyebrows, getting up and floating towards you, something that made you stumble back until you hit the wall behind you, “Elaborate.”
“This isn't real.. this isn't real.. this isn't..-” but when something cold suddenly touched your arm, you screamed again and ran downstairs.
This was very real.
And Yoongi would enjoy this weekend having you around.
jung hoseok
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“I'm a ghost!” Hoseok said with excitement as you looked at him with narrowed eyes.
“Uh-huh. And I'm a vampire.”
“Really?” his eyes widened, “Do you guys actually drink blood or is that just another stereotype? Because see, we don't really look like the ghosts in the movies either.”
“Yeah.. you.. look very real. You know, with your gorgeous nose, your beautiful lips, your amazing body..-”
“Stop it!” he scolded, “Ghosts and humans can't have sex, but if you keep this up I'll get a boner and the last time I got one it took me forty hours to get rid of it.”
“Seriously?!” you wanted to approach him and your hands seemed to try to touch his body just because curiosity got the best of you. And even if he couldn't really feel it, he could feel the warmth. And warmth was.. deadly when it came down to not getting boners. And that said something, because he was already dead.
And so in the end, it wasn't like he anticipated, you didn't run away from him, but he ran away from you.
And that had never happened before in his past 400 years.
kim namjoon
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Namjoon didn't want to scare you. He wanted to have you here for as long as possible. So what he did instead was write messages in the dust, just small messages that made you think it was your friends that left them.
“You're beautiful,” you read out loud, chuckling a little, “Creepy as fuck, but also very sweet, whoever is writing them.”
He continued doing so for the entire weekend. It was only by the end that you realized something was off and that this wasn't your friends, because none of them were as nice as this person..
And maybe because of the approach that he took, you weren't scared when you asked him: “I know you're a ghost or.. something like it. And I assume there's a reason you've been hiding from me but.. I'd really like to meet you.”
There was a moment of silence, your heart beating so fast in your chest that you were afraid it would jump out.
And when you turned around, there he was.
He didn't look scary at all, instead, he looked ethereal. Like a god..
“I'm.. Namjoon.”
“An angel?”
“A ghost,” he chuckled, “But thanks for that compliment, I appreciate it.”
At first you had hated coming here, but after this encounter, you found yourself doing so whenever you could and Namjoon was really grateful for it.
park jimin
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You had been drinking way too much tonight, nothing really mattered, not even what stood in front of you.
“I used to hold my liquor quite well when I was still alive and let me tell you, you're horrible at it.”
“Are you.. shading me?”
“I might be,” Jimin shrugged and joined you in the kitchen, pointing at the half empty bottle of alcohol, “I'd love to drink it myself but it wouldn't do much if I tried, so.. have another drink on me?”
You were so wasted that you didn't even really question half of the things he did. You didn't realize that he just flew through the kitchen counter, you didn't realize that he didn't look alive and you didn't realize what he had just told you.
Instead you downed the next shot glass and grinned triumphantly at him.
“This one was for you!”
Jimin started laughing, “You're the most fun person I ever encountered in the last 500 years. Let's be friends!”
“Sure, buddy. Friends.”
And that's how your friendship with Jimin the ghost had started. Because you were so fucking drunk that you couldn't even tell that he had been a ghost and afterwards it wasn't scary anymore.
kim taehyung
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“Wait, wait, wait, reverse,” you said, shaking your head, “You've been haunting this house only for a year? But they said it's been haunted for over 200?”
“Oh yeah, that was the guy before me. I died a year ago not far from here, so they figured they'd give him a break and put me here.”
“They?”
“The people in charge,” Taehyung shrugged, “I never see them, they just kind of guide us to where we need to go and then lock us in here.”
“That’s.. horrible!” you furrowed your eyebrows, “That's so unfair! You shouldn't be stuck in here, you should be free!”
“That's very sweet of you, but..-”
However, you were already coming up with a plan, “No, absolutely not. I will not accept that life after death is about entertaining teenagers with hormone problems.”
“And what do you want to do about it?”
“I probably can't bring you back to life, but maybe we can figure out how to get you into a peaceful afterlife.. if we work together. You, on the death side, me on the living one.”
“Like a.. team,” he beamed.
“Exactly! We're a team!”
jeon jeongguk
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Your friends had wanted this trip to this haunted house, had set everything up to watch a horror movie in it and now they had all fallen asleep and the only one who was watching it was you, the one who didn’t even want to come here in the first place.
You kept munching on your popcorn, your eyes so focused on the screen that you didn't notice someone pop up next to you.
“Can I have some?” a voice asked. You didn't properly listen, didn't realize the voice didn't belong to any of your friends, just held out the bowl, “Actually.. can you feed me? I'm having trouble with my hands.”
“Why? Jerking off too..- holy fuck!” you didn't scream, but your eyes did widen as you stared at the boy next to you that clearly was a ghost.
You've been watching horror movies for the past three hours, you could tell.
“I can't even do that anymore,” Jeongguk sighed, “The last time I had an orgasm was right before I died..”
“Did you.. die because of sex?” you furrowed your eyebrows.
“No, but that would've been a lot more fun,” the guy chuckled, “You're not afraid of me though.. how come?”
“I don't know,” you said honestly, still staring at him, “You don't seem like a scary ghost. Or one that wants to hurt me. Fuck, you asked me to feed you popcorn. How bad can you be?”
Jeongguk smiled from ear to ear, “You're really cool.”
“Thanks.. I think,” this was so weird, but also.. kind of awesome.
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