#like what is the chance right
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literally the funniest shit you can do everytime something hurts is search google. like i know i shouldn't. but- but, yeah i'll do it. i'm too impatient and curious.
also me 5 min later freaking out because apparently i'm dying.
on the other note, two of those diseases that my sympthoms match, that are not lethal, just uncomfortable can actually trouble chemists more often.
another way this degree is gonna end me, apparently.
#no but seriously why is it sooo weird#like my ribs and strenum hurts#why?#idk#i've never experienced anything like that#maybe i will remember to call doctor tommorow morning#because it's annoying as hell#it's not worse when i breathe or move it just... is#i literally cannot have a week when everything is peaceful#because i either sleep in some weird position and feel it for week or i catch a cold AGAIN 'cause my sinuses are fucked#OR a goddamned flake of crystalized amine flies right into my eye 15 minutes before i was supposed to go home#AND I'M WEARING GLASSES#like what is the chance right
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My Great Grandma who loved her babies very much
Reference that I used for the face!
#I was scrolling through pinterest and saw this woman and I was like: She looks EXACTLY like how I imagine Stan and Ford's mother to look#my art#gravity falls#mabel pines#dipper pines#ig??#caryn romanoff pines#caryn pines#mabel voice: she must have been one hell of a mother to have had to deal with Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford when they were kids!#DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW SHE MIGHT HAVE DIED THINKING STANFORD AND STANLEY NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO RECONCILE#DO U EVER THINK ABOUT HOW SHE MUST HAVE BEEN PLAGUED WITH REGRETS AND WHAT-IFS OVER STAN BEING KICKED OUT- WISHING SHE COULD HAVE DONE MORE#DOES THE THOUGHT THAT STANFORD MIGHT HAVE NEVER GOTTEN THE CHANCE TO VISIT HER AT HER DEATHBED OR HER FUNERAL SINCE HE WAS STUCK ELSEWHERE??#EVER HAUNT YOU AT NIGHT???#DOES IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT SHE MIGHT HAVE KNOWN ALL ALONG ABOUT STANLEY- SINCE SHE'S THEIR MOTHER AND âWHAT KIND OF MOTHER CAN'T#RECOGNISE HER OWN CHILDREN APARTâ#THEY MEET AT STAN'S FUNERAL LIKE: âSTANLEY I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED- NOR WHY THAT CASKET AT THE FRONT IS EMPTY RIGHT NOW AND WHY WE'RE#CURRENTLY ATTENDING YOUR FUNERAL- OR WHY YOU'RE EVEN DRESSED UP AS FORD RIGHT NOW.â#âI DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON STANLEY- BUT I DO KNOW THAT ONE OF MY SONS DIDN'T DIE IN A DITCH SOMWHERE IN THE FLAMING WRECK OF A CAR CRASH-#AND THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME.â#SHE GOT THAT MOTHER'S INSTINCT#stan twins parents
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the lovers, reversed
(aka I'm still freaking out about Jou)
#art#ride kamens#i am about to go off on wild speculation so excuse me in advance#I HAVEN'T PLAYED THE EVENT YET so this could all be just absolutely nothing but i gotta get it out#(still debating if i wanna save the event for after i finish part 2 or not...)#this is my last chance to throw wacky theories out there okay#i've just. been thinking a lot about the riders the characters are based on and how they relate to their different classes#like the choices seemed SO random when they were first revealed but they do mostly make sense when you think about it#to the point where i actually do feel like i should've been able to call ooo for ambition. damnit.#however i did always feel like jou was a bit of an outlier and now i'm wondering if that's gonna be like...a thing#idk man just the fact that he's gonna have a special double card and bond henshin with taiten is nuts to me#especially since we're clearly on the verge of SOMETHING happening with soun and uryuu#what does it mean. WHAT DOES IT MEAN#what does this mean for the future of tower emblem#and it hasn't escaped me that there is no class associated with evolution (YET)#and thinking about who jou is based on i'm just like#(waves hands) YOU KNOW?!#(plus i'm still like WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR RUI AND HAYATE but that's a separate thing)#i'm gonna try and take my time and not rush through part 2 but i also am SO impatient#i gotta knooooow#given the way my predictions tend to go though i'm either 100% accidentally right about the dumbest thing#or jou is fine but leon fucking dies or something and i'm gonna throw my phone into a lake#HAVE FUN GUYS I GUESS
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RIP Will Campos the only person who was murdered this episode.
#I fucking loved this episode but also FUCK- OH UH DON'T READ MY TAGS IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED YET CAUSE UH SPOILERS LOL#dndads#dungeons and daddies#the peachyville horror#dndads spoilers#dndads s3 ep 5#tony collette#ebenezer white#[breathes]#TONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK#choosing to believe there's a chance they save him#I REALLY hope they save him#please these tags were gonna be me rambling about how I'm so ready for him to accidentally become an actual spy#and how Ebenezer is just one more person I need him to have homoerotic tension with#BUT NOW WHAT#Anyways poor Will but also not poor Will cause it was REALLY funny how much everyone was screwing with him this episode zkbfeskgzl#stupidly it was the moth bit that got me the most and particularly Matt describing its journey lmao#Somehow- like I knew the Trudy stuff was gonna be dark but somehow it was even darker than I imagined like fuuuuuck#Also sounds like the people who theorized there'd been an og human Trudy were *probably* right?#Heh. But was it a normal death or was she *murdered* dun dun dun#*Very* excited for Kelsey's boxing match#Francis UH OH GOD??#the two scoops line was perfect though#what else what else... No I'm just caught on that ending now god DAMN it I don't care if they pull some cheap shit to save him#oh actually I know exactly what I want out of this but I'll make a separate post about that one sec lol#undescribed
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âtrans men donât have any real safety concerns to worry aboutâ i canât wear a mask when i go into public bathrooms even though iâm higher risk and bathrooms are some of the easiest places to get sick because i donât reliably pass when my facial hair is covered and i canât risk not passing when i use the menâs room, but i also canât just use the womenâs room for safety anymore because i donât reliably pass as either binary gender anymore. so my only options are to risk getting sick, take my chances with the consequences of not passing, or just never use the bathroom in public (which has its own health risks).
and today, it almost didnât even matter that i was putting myself in danger to ensure that i passed because, thanks to a faulty lock and a man who didnât think to knock, i came very close to having my half-naked body exposed to a bathroom full of cis men. if i hadnât been holding my coat on my lap because there was nowhere in the stall to put it, every single guy waiting in the (very crowded) bathroom wouldâve seen that i didnât have a dick. how well do you think that wouldâve gone for me? my moneyâs on Not Well At All.
#it took me a solid hour to stop shaking after#like yeah maybe the guy who opened the door wouldâve have done anything but what about all the other guys?#i feel like the chances that None of those guys wouldâve had a problem with trans people is pretty low#iâm so fucking lucky it didnât happen but even coming that close was Terrifying#starting to use the menâs room consistently isâŠa time#but when i do it right i get less weird looks than in the womenâs room so itâs not like thereâs a better option#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia#trans men#transmascs
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Shen Yuan's life would have actually been far more difficult if he was the only transmigrator. Instead of airplane, he would have been dealing with an active and malicious spy who would not have hesitated to take advantage of him and his situation.
Either he believes the entire amnesia story or picks up that SY is an imposter. Maybe even both. He believes the amnesia first but then realizes something more is going on when he tries to take advantage of the so-called "amnesia."
Whatever the case, Shen Yuan's life would have gone from easy mode to medium or even outright hard.
#idea dump#ramblings of a sleep deprived girl#mxtx svsss#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shang qinghua#original shang qinghua#People seem to forget that he was a very competent and effective spy#he would have sabotaged SY every chance he got because OG SQH would have seen him as a weakness to exploit#The sect tactician with amnesia? prime time to take them out at their most vulnerable#A peak lord has dramatically changed into a completely different person but no one really seems to care enough to investigate further?#political crisis and damaged reputations when exposed at the right time#he also would have noticed how SY treats LBH and wonder what was so special about him#you can't tell me he wouldn't try to manipulate and take advantage of a LBH fresh out of the abyss#the more I think about it the more I realize how terrifying OG SQH could have been#nothing is more terrifying than a villain with a brain#SY would have been cooked facing off against a competent spy like OG SQH#system or no system
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Well someone has to give it its driver updates, Gabriel
#driver design and development ft. gabriel#why do i keep making gabriel look like a tech nerd?#idk don't ask me#but come on they're robots they don't need just blood right???#ramble time#i don't know what i am doing about that rendering and that's all i'm gonna say about this topic#i don't really play ultrakill anymore#apex + d2 take most of my playing time i simply don't play any other games#their idea list was never empty tho#i like their contrast i guess#they can have a lot of argument#that tends to make coming up dialogues easy#yeah#i don't know why i ramble this much#maybe just because i don't really have the chance per se#but i really seldom do ultrakill stuff now#ultrakill followers best time to unfollow starts now#ultrakill#ultrakill v1#ultrakill gabriel#my art
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axolotl
#covers my face. this is dumb theyre dumb idk what was going thru my mind making this.h#i like this brush tho i think ill keep using it#i had this thought awhile ago that axolotls kind of remind me of macs ears. and i had a nice thought that if wukong ever saw one#he'd say the same thing. and thats why im sitting here with my head in my hands#macaque doesnt know if hes embarassed amused or straight up smitten. its all 3#i have such a hard time drawing necks and shoulders.. mac is supposed to kind of hunch up his shoulders#the way some ppl do when they bow their neck down kind oflike. defensive-tucking in position when theyre making themselves small#i cant really get it to look right so it kinda looks like his head is sunken too close to his shoulders. so i guess ill keep practising#maybe if i brought his head closer to the collarbone it will look better. but i struggle with foreshortening so theres a chance itll#just look like his neck starts at the collar. ughhh#god have mercy if i ever draw hugs. i hate positioning the shoulder i hate hate hate it. 10 dead 17 injured#i have new design note ideas for em but ill post another time#myart#doodles#lego monkie kid#lmk#monkie kid#shadowpeach#lmk sun wukong#lmk swk#lmk macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk liu er mihou
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I'm trying to crack the code at the bottom but I can't get away from Ford and Bill being bitter exes XD "Leaving you on read" Bitch I know what you are
#gravity falls#billford#i cannot with the âbill if you're SOMEHOW reading thisâ like the chances of that are so small what are you doing fordsy#the fact that he actually thought of bill and made sure to leave him a message telling him to choke on glass JUST IN CASE is amazing#i'm so happy billford is finally getting the respect and recognition it deserves after all these years they're so fucking funny#also that code is definitely decodable right cuz i'm struggling for no reason with that one in particular
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have been in a qijiu/qiyuan mood lately, and i was thinking about an au where shen yuan, upon transmigrating, actually loses his memories. he wakes up and has no idea who he is, where he is, who the man at his bedside is. not a clue. the only thing he has is his muscle memory, his sharp recognition senses (he's experiencing a lot of déjà -vu), and blurry fractions of memories that he can't quite make out.
thing is, the memories of both shen yuan and shen jiu aren't actually gone, they start to intermingle, to mix up, a little sister in princess pajamas beside an older brother wearing dirty rags, a bright screen that displays mountain peaks and glittering caves. he's kind and generous the way someone who has never had to worry about food or money is, but he gets vicious and defensive when someone gets too close. sometimes he says cruel things and doesn't even understand why himself.
neither identity fits anymore, both names right and wrong at the same time. it's just... shen qingqiu.
and while everyone else might adjust to this just fine, yue qingyuan does not. because that is shen jiu, but it isn't, but it has to be, but not always. he gets flashes of his childhood friend when shen qingqiu gets viciously defensive over nothing, when he scowls and scoffs and rolls his eyes when he thinks people can't see, but then he smiles, and laughs, and tilts his head in a way that is completely foreign. he likes beasts. shen jiu never liked beasts. but he loves tanghulu, like shen jiu. sweet sugary things. the first time xiao jiu cuddles up into his hug, he cries.
the way he sometimes clings to yue qingyuan when he has a bad day can't be him, but then he says "qi-ge" exactly like shen jiu would and damn near snarls at anyone who gets too close, and he's aggressively possessive the way he was when they were kids. but then he pulls away and apologizes, like shen jiu would never do.
and he never demands anything, scrubbed clean from roughness and filth and selfish want, will act perfect and smiling and pleasant, never burdensome. like he's completely forgotten where he came from, what he was. like the pampered nobleman's son who could afford to be kind. the only time his old self comes fully back up is when he feels threatened or scared or angry, like a trauma response that kicks in to protect himself. and then yue qingyuan starts to wonder if maybe it is. maybe the shen jiu he knows was only ever fear and self-preservation, and the one he is now is a shen jiu without the chains and shackles and scars.
yue qingyuan doesn't know if he's happy for him, if it's for better or for worse. he does know that he feels protective and responsible for this new version xiao jiu has become.
meanwhile shen qingqiu, even when he regains enough of his memories to realize he was once a different person, doesn't know who he is anymore. both, maybe. or neither. he feels bad for taking away yue qingyuan's friend, but in his heart he can't help but think qi-ge is his brother, and no one else's. when he manages the peak he feels like he's taking credit for another's accomplishments, but he remembers suffering for it, he remembers what it took to get there.
#more guilt for everyone!#yue qingyuan being so touch starved and desperate that he takes advantage the first chance he has#by cooking and making tea and holding his xiao jiu#shen jiu calls him qi-ge and he KNOWS what that means#but he can't bring himself to say anything when shen jiu is seeking comfort in him#he wants to be shen jiu's place of home and comfort so painfully desperately badly that hell take anything and not let go#and shen qingqiu struggles with the intense need to be close to yue qingyuan. to be held and comforted#because he feels so terribly lonely and rejected and abandoned#even when he knows that part of him has no right to feel that way because it has nothing to do with him#anyway i was in the mood for pain#hope you like it#svsss#scum villain#qijiu#qiyuan#shen jiu#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#yue qingyuan#amnesia au
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True love is possible only in the next world. For new people. It it too late for us.
(Redraw for @pakhnokh's DTIYS post!)
#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangij#Finally I can redraw a pahknokh piece with *permission* B*)#I was so excited to see you (pakhnohk) do a dtiys! It's such a fun skill building activity & I really hope to see more people bring it back#The composition and melancholic feeling of the original piece is so lovely! Thank's for setting this up!#Lighting is still kind of my enemy. In the way that getting curb stomped is my enemy. I had fun trying to figure it out though but...#I have a long way to go and that's okay!#Sadly I feel like I overworked this and made the colours a mess B*( That's *Also* Okay - I learned something from it.#The Robert Kurvitz quote is one that I feel *really* fits the heartache of the yiling laozu and hanguang-jun era.#As painful as it is...No...I don't think there was ever a chance they could have had a true romance in wwx's first life#It was always going to be a tragedy.#Sometimes the right person comes at the wrong time. And when you realize what they really mean to you it is the wrong time once again#They get to try again though! They get to be happy B'*)
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i just think more ya and genre fiction in general should have the balls of mr stroud's bartimaeus trilogy. wrap up your series not just with your young mc dead as a doornail but he's also: unforgiven for his crimes as an agent of empire; his death saves lives but does not itself end any oppressive systems (spirit summoning OR the terrestrial british empire); and frankly there's very little indication that either of those systems will get any better post-canon whatsoever! the british proletariat has thrown off their chains, but it's not looking likely that they'll do the same for the colonies! kitty may try to proselytize about human-spirit relations, but she's one woman against the world! i just don't think her chances are great! nathaniel's death saved a lot of people who will never thank him for it and exactly two people who would (edit: BUT CAN'T! BECAUSE HE'S DEAD!). it improves nothing about the world, just gives it the slim chance, in other hands, of some unlikely day getting a smidgen better. his morals are so totally absent by mid-book 3 that the major emotional revelation he comes to, building up across three books, the climax of his personal arc, is "oh fuck other people are also people too." he was fully unaware of that one prior. great fucking series. cry every time
#series about how you will do unto others what has been done unto you your entire life without question#all of your actions and your every conception of the world will be constrained by the harms you have suffered#unless you get just so lucky. like just so astronomically lucky. and happen to meet the right couple of people the right couple of times#and realize there is literally any other option in life besides perpetuating hurt#99% chance that won't happen tho. good luck!#try to make it out alive!#bartimaeus
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a glimpse of what their early dynamic looks like
#i'm posting these in this blog first because i think its very silly#i could talk about them if you want me to#*ignores if you want to hear me or not and simply starts talking*#I think at some point during development i stopped thinking about them as 'mrs. afton and mr. afton'#it's funny knowing they were never supposed to meet at all#Ballora belongs to sister location. which takes place some time around 1983 or 1985 (Behind The Codes has its own canon timeline)#Fazbear's Fright happens in 2023. which is 30-40 years apart#but then we have Ultimate Custom Night. Everyone is trapped together in the same location seemingly with no chances of escaping.#if you think about it. they're just a part of this huge scrupulous plan#no one is predestined to anything. it's certainly not different for Springtrap and Ballora.#they are just... there. like everyone else#they are all linked in some way. all the clues tie back to the Missing Children Incident.#but... you're probably right. maybe there's more to it#maybe there is A Link rather than a link. you know what I mean?#Episode 3 will explore this and much more#for now. have these two idiots trying to figure out how to get out of trouble#behind the codes#fnaf#fnaf behind the codes#five nights at freddy's#ballora#springtrap#fnaf btc#my art#starbstalks
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It's looking like there's a growing divide between Campaign watchers and Tlovm watchers in terms of like. We're here for the characters. 12-episode seasons aren't. They can't be. I'm already making peace with everything we'll lose in the Mighty Nein show, and I know I will enjoy it for what it is but I also know that almost nothing that made the story so special will translate to the screen, because turning it into a show automatically means (in this day and age) that plot must be the number one priority. They've already come out and told us it's going to be different, the characters we know and love but new stories.
Because that's how this has to work. And I feel bad for campaign one lovers, because while it is certainly the easier of the two to translate to a big, overarching story, even though it's a more "traditional" high fantasy story with easier archetypal characters, the archetypes and the plot aren't what cemented most people's love for the campaign. So much of the love for critical role is stored in the interpersonal dynamics and the payoff that comes from hundreds of hours of tiny interactions that one day become cornerstones of development and even affect or dictate the plot.
There's no room for that. There's no room for Bard's Lament in a story that cannot afford to remove and replace a main character. A lot of tlovm is for people who have been here for all of campaign one. Most of it, however, isn't. It's for a new crowd. While CR may have creative control, you can bet your ass that there were months and years devoted to figuring out how to map a character-focused love of the show into a plot that hits the right beats to be viable in the show market.
And it worked. Tlovm has consistently high viewing numbers, and its popularity has brought and will continue to bring new people into the universe who have never interacted with CR previously. That's not a bad thing - imagine finishing your favorite show and discovering it has another FIVE HUNDRED HOURS of the equivalent of behind the scenes content. That's incredible for these newcomers. But man, it is in many ways a loss for us.
#Tlovm spoilers#In some ways it's like looking into a dark mirror#And this is again with a story that's relatively easy to plot with clear arcs and themes#The mighty Nein was a sandbox that was entirely character driven in terms of where they went and what they did#It has a few loose arcs but even the fact that molly died so early#The fact that he haunts the remainder of the show#That's going to be lost. Its impact on Yasha and on beau who spends the rest of the campaign looking for a chance to do what he did#The fact that his death tied narratively into Caleb getting the spell for their hut - their home - and nearly crying#Knowing he had a way to keep them safe after they lost one#None of that is plottable#I'm losing my thread of thought and I have to work but. I don't even know if sad is the right word#Because CR has gotten so far. So much further than anything of its kind.#There is much joy here and I will adore seeing the Nein#But it's okay to acknowledge that capitalism strips away the ability to focus on the heart of critical role#And that's why the live play media is so special#That's literally what makes it special and what makes the story so impactful#Critical role
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Tigerstar takes in the RiverClan Rejects (again)
! click the gif for quality that doesnât suck
#THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME . THIS IS THE THIRD TIME HES TAKEN IN EXILED RIVERCLAN CATS#why does this keep happening#I had this idea in my head ever since the blurb for ivypoolâs heart deopped I just havenât had the chance to do it til now#anyway . I think Duskfur would be guilty abt everything that has happened#she let frostpaw be exiled + invalidated her trauma omly to be like haha you were right granddaughter#not to mention both her kids just going evil??#so I added some grandmother guilt <3#and some frostpaw and Nightheart being friends because I will remeber them forever#once again gif quality seeks to kill me⊠looks terrible no matter what on iPad but ok when clicked on phone. Hope itâs alright#ivypoolâs heart spoilers#ivypoolâs heart#a starless clan spoilers#a starless clan#asc spoilers#warriors#warrior cats#cw blood#Duskfur#tigerheartstar#Tigerstar 2#Tigerheart#animation#Mothwing#icewing#frostpaw#Nightheart#sunbeam#illustration#meme#comic
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kacchan really is so funny for being like BUT WHAT ABOUT BAKUDEKU CANON when he finds out izuku is quirkless
#bakudeku#bkdk#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#mha leaks#he really is like WHAT ABOUT US#WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING WE BEEN THROUGH#izuku is such a Gabriella too he DO be running away from his feelings every chance he gets#what about US IZUKU WHAT ABOUT OUR MARRIAGE#WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS MANGA IF WE ARENT MARRIED#and Izuku is like oh no my baby is on too many painkillers hahaha heâs not proposing to me right now thatâs silly#if he was proposing that would mean he loved me and I canât accept that reality Iâm too much of a burden#I canât think of myself long enough to realize I am valued#two months ago Izuku was like :) Iâm so blessed kacchan talks to me almost normally#how is he supposed to process he was just proposed to by that same boy#like heâs also just gone through almost losing him heâs probably like Iâm lucky heâs alive and breathing near me#and kacchanâs like I LOVE YOU I WANT YOU FOREVER#Izuku is overwhelmed ok give him some slack
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