#like what is going on. maybe i truly fucked up but also i just feel like summer is just not… good for me

[alsofoundinpeas]

Two Sides of the Same Coin

Summary: Y/N is an international pop star, adored by millions—and maybe a little too adored. When a deranged stalker, obsessed with her every move, begins killing those close to her, the BAU steps in. Derek and Spencer are assigned as her bodyguards, tasked with keeping her safe until the stalker is caught. Trapped inside her house, none of them are happy about the arrangement, but tensions rise as they struggle with cabin fever—and a growing attraction they can't ignore.

CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+!! MDNI!! This fic is intended for adult audiences. Reader is kind of a cunt but only because she's extremely upset/disturbed by the situation. Mentions of stalking/violence related to the case (not excessive or graphic I promise!!). Oral (both m and f receiving), fingering (f!receiving), overstimulation (f!receiving), crying during sex (f only and it isn't from pain I swear), spit-roasting, protected PinV sex, spanking, mix of praise and degradation. Mean Dom!Derek x Bratty Sub!Reader x Soft Dom!Spencer.

Pairing: Derek Morgan x fem!reader/afab!reader x Spencer Reid

A/N: Basically think the Lila situation but on steroids LMFAO I really enjoyed having you guys vote for the fic and I may do it again soon :') I'll admit, I really enjoyed writing this and stepping out of my comfort zone a bit! I truly hope you guys enjoy this and if you do, please like, reblog, and consider following! <3 Thank you and I love you all!! :)

"You’re fucking joking."

The room was heavy with tension, everyone at the table shifting uneasily as Y/N’s words hung in the air. The meeting had only been underway for 45 minutes, most of which consisted of questions directed at her, trying to gather any information that might lead the BAU to her stalker. When it became clear that she had no idea of anyone who would want to leak her private information, the next bombshell dropped: she'd be stuck at home until they caught the person responsible.

Y/N’s manager, Anna, shoots Hotch a wary look as he clears his throat, his stern gaze never leaving Y/N. "At this moment, it’s a serious safety risk for you to leave your house—not just for you, but for anyone seen with you in public. As a result, SSA Derek Morgan and SSA Spencer Reid will be assigned to stay with you for your protection, and they’ll handle any errands you need until we can apprehend your stalker," he explains once more.

Y/N scoffed, her gaze briefly shifting to Anna before locking back on Hotch. "Really? So... not only am I being stalked by some fucking maniac because someone sold my information to the press, but now I’m trapped at home with two strangers? Two men I just met—what, thirty minutes ago?"

Derek and Spencer both sat up straighter, their expressions hardening as their lips pressed into thin lines. Neither of them was thrilled about the plan. They both insisted to Hotch that their skills would be better used helping the team, not playing babysitter for someone who clearly resented the arrangement. Hotch protested that they could still help from her house while also ensuring her safety, effectively shutting down any further arguments.

"We know this isn’t what you want, hun, but it’s either this or more innocent people—maybe even you—get killed," Anna urged, her hand resting gently on Y/N’s shoulder, offering what little comfort she could.

As much as she hated to admit it, Y/N knew Anna and Hotch were right. But that didn't mean she had to like it. The idea of her stalker thinking they had any control over her—believing she’d cower to some deranged loser who killed innocent people—sickened her.

"We’ll do everything in our power to track down whoever’s behind this," Hotch promised, his voice firm. "Once they’re caught, you’ll be able to go back to your normal life."

"Yeah, because everything’s going to feel normal after being stalked by a murderer," Y/N muttered, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She sighed, her gaze flicking around the table before landing back on him. "Fine. Whatever. Thank you. Anna can show them to the guest rooms. Are we done here?"

The meeting concluded once the rules for her quarantine were set and the safety of her family and friends had been addressed. She was to remain in the house at all times, contact with anyone would be made through a burner phone to prevent her stalker from intercepting any personal devices (which Garcia was already examining for any clues about the leak), and her loved ones would be under close surveillance by the local PD, who had already been notified of the situation.

Once Y/N had stomped up the stairs, Anna took the time to show Morgan and Reid around.

Y/N's house, for a pop star, was surprisingly modest. She didn’t have a sprawling mansion or an army of staff catering to her every whim—just a personal chef (whom she paid very well) and a groundskeeper to handle the lawn care. Anna explained that, even though Y/N was one of the biggest names in pop music, she was incredibly grounded and more down-to-earth than anyone she’d worked with, not to mention fiercely independent.

"No offense, but I’m not exactly picking up on this ‘down-to-earth’ vibe you’re talking about,” Morgan grumbled as Anna trailed behind him and Spencer toward their SUV.

Anna chuckled, nodding as she watched the men grab their bags. “Like I said, that girl is as independent as they come. She’s just frustrated because this situation strips her of that independence and probably makes her feel helpless—which isn’t something she’s used to,” Anna said quietly. “Give it time. I’m sure she’ll ease up on you.”

The next few days quickly showed that Anna couldn’t have been more wrong.

Rather than easing up on the pair, Y/N had begun acting as though they didn’t exist. The only time she left her room was to collect whatever meal Vinny, her chef—an affable older gentleman—prepared for everyone, and to chat with him briefly while he cleaned up before heading out for the night. When she did speak to either of them, it was curt, often laced with sarcasm, and was usually a request to leave the house, which was always met with a hard no.

A week passed with no progress on the case and only a handful of awkward interactions. Spencer knocked on her door several times, offering dinner or a chance to play board games with him and Derek, but each time she turned him down. Morgan stopped pushing as hard to get her to talk. He kept telling Spencer that if she wanted to throw a fit over them risking their lives to keep her safe, so be it.

As the second week dragged on with no significant progress on the case, tension started to build among everyone. Y/N’s remarks had escalated from sharp, sarcastic comments to full-blown arguments—mostly with Derek. She no longer confined herself to her room; instead, she began strutting around the house in the most revealing outfits she could find, knowing full well they flustered Spencer.

With Vinny handling the grocery shopping and Y/N’s house fully stocked with everything they could need, there was no real reason for Reid or Morgan to leave for the so-called errands Hotch had mentioned to get a break from her. Spencer had read and re-read every book he brought with him, unwilling to touch the ones Y/N had. Derek spent most of his time in the home gym or on the phone with Garcia and other team members, eager to contribute from afar.

As for Y/N… well, she was beyond tired of being cooped up in her room all day and decided it was time to take matters into her own hands.

The door creaked softly as Y/N peeked her head into the dark hallway, wincing at the sound before freezing. She held her breath, straining to hear any sign of movement in the house. It was late—just after 11:00 p.m.—and she silently hoped both agents were asleep.

After hearing nothing, she carefully tiptoed down the stairs and into the living room. Just as she was slipping her shoes on by the back door, the light suddenly flickered on, startling her so much she almost lost her balance. Spinning around, she found Spencer standing there in his pajamas, watching her with a wary expression, his face showing signs of exhaustion.

"What exactly are you doing?"

Y/N pressed her lips together, exhaling sharply through her nose as she shifted on her heels. “I… um, I was just going to run to the store. I’m out of—” She faltered, scrambling for a convincing excuse. “—shampoo! Yeah… and I didn’t think it was worth waking either of you up to grab it for me.”

Reid sighed, shaking his head. "Y/N, you know you're not supposed to leave the house, no matter what. Are you really willing to risk your life over a bottle of shampoo?"

"I wouldn’t be risking my life!" Y/N snapped, throwing her hands up in frustration as she stepped away from the door. "It would take thirty minutes tops."

Derek, already awake, had overheard the quiet argument from his room. Curious, he got up and headed down the hall toward the kitchen, pausing to listen. Spencer muttered something else, but it was too soft for him to catch.

Y/N rolled her eyes, releasing an exaggerated sigh before fixing Spencer with a glare that had him swallowing hard. She stepped forward, her chest brushing against his as she tilted her head up. "I’ve been in the public eye since I was seventeen, Doctor. I think I can handle a trip to the store on my own. I’ll even wear a disguise. I just want out of this fucking house," she hissed.

“I get it, Y/N. I really do. But there’s a psychotic stalker targeting anyone who even looks your way right now. We can’t take that risk.” Spencer’s voice was gentle, but his stance was unyielding. Despite how… intimidating she could be, he wasn’t afraid of her.

Morgan rounded the corner, an eyebrow raised as he took in the scene—Y/N and Reid practically nose to nose. He’d caught what she said from the kitchen and decided it was time to step in. “Y/N,” he barked, crossing his arms and leaning against the back of the couch. “Quit giving the kid a hard time. The answer’s no. Not happening, princess. Deal with it.”

Y/N tilted her head, her glare still fixed on Spencer. “And what exactly are you going to do about it? Punish me?” Her voice dropped low, dripping with mockery as she finally turned her attention to Derek, a daring glint in her eyes.

Derek’s eyebrows lifted, a humorless chuckle escaping him that sent a shiver down her spine. He pushed off the couch and closed the distance in two long strides. His hand shot out, grabbing her wrist and yanking her away from Spencer, his voice dropping into a low growl in her ear.

"Maybe I should. Maybe we both should."

Heat surged to Y/N’s cheeks as she glanced up at him, still pressed against his chest after stumbling into him. She swallowed hard, caught off-guard by the dangerous glint in his eyes. Neither of them looked away, both stubbornly refusing to back down.

“What?” Spencer sputtered, his voice laced with incredulity as he finally broke their heated stares. His eyes flicked between them, wide with shock. “Absolutely not! That’s beyond unprofessional—and completely inappropriate!”

"And at what point during this entire babysitting gig has she been professional or appropriate?" Morgan challenged, releasing his grip on Y/N's wrist to throw his hands up in exasperation.

Reid hesitated, opening his mouth to respond, but the words failed him.

"Exactly," Derek said triumphantly. "She’s been a complicated, hard-headed smartass from the second we stepped through that door—" He gestured toward the door with a pointed jab of his thumb. "—and she’s the one who asked for it. I say we give her exactly what she wants."

Spencer gnawed at his lower lip, his expression torn as he grappled with not only the moral implications of what was being offered but also the idea of his best friend and colleague seeing his dick. He shuddered at the thought, then turned his gaze to Y/N, who stood frozen, her expression one of shock—as though she hadn’t considered this could actually happen. "Is that… is that really something you want us to do?"

He couldn’t believe he was actually entertaining the idea. But Morgan wasn’t wrong… she’d been a pain in the ass the entire week they’d been stuck with her. And, despite the attitude, she was undeniably one of the most attractive women he’d ever laid eyes on. Besides, fucking one of the world's most famous pop stars certainly wasn't the worst thing that could happen to him while on a case.

Y/N glanced between the two of them, her gaze flickering before she nodded slowly. "Uh… yeah. It is," she admitted, her voice quiet and subdued—completely at odds with the mouthy, brazen woman she’d been all week.

She couldn’t deny that both of them were devastatingly attractive, and maybe if the circumstances were different then she would have enjoyed their company. It was the fact that they were so good at their jobs that agitated her, successfully keeping her trapped in her own house. As much as she loathed being stuck indoors, she had to give credit where it was due—they were doing everything they could to keep her safe and make her lockdown more bearable. Maybe she had been a bit too hard on them…

"Then go up to your room and wait for us on your bed," Derek ordered lowly. "Naked," he added.

The second she was out of sight, Spencer turned to Morgan, eyes wide with disbelief, and followed him into the kitchen. "Are we really going through with this?" he whispered, pacing back and forth as Morgan sifted through his wallet.

A shameless smile graced his face as he pulled out two condoms, tossing one toward Reid before shrugging. "I am. If you're uncomfortable, you don’t have to do anything. Seriously, kid. No pressure," Derek murmured, his tone reassuring as he noticed the hint of insecurity in Spencer’s expression.

Spencer flinched as the item flew toward him, stumbling back slightly before he crouched to grab the foil packet from the ground, shaking his head.

"It’s not that I don’t want to! I just—Hotch would kill us if he found out, and—"

"Then he won't find out. Simple."

Derek’s voice was calm, the complete opposite of Spencer’s nervous energy. He started toward the stairs, glancing over his shoulder at Reid with a smirk. "You coming, or what?"

Spencer breathed in deeply, releasing the tension with a sigh before nodding and trailing behind him toward Y/N's room.

Spencer wasn't a complete stranger to sex, having had a few short-term relationships that had always fizzled out due to the erratic nature of his schedule. But he didn't have nearly the experience Morgan had. He'd also never had a threesome, something he knew for a fact Morgan had participated in more than once thanks to his ability to overshare and desire to make Reid as flustered as he possibly could.

Derek stopped outside Y/N’s door and turned to Spencer. "Hey," he said softly, drawing the younger man’s attention. "Quit overanalyzing. I can practically see the wheels turning. Just follow my lead, okay? I know you’re a quick learner."

Spencer huffed out a small laugh. "I’ll do my best," he murmured, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to loosen the tension in his muscles.

Morgan clapped a hand on his back reassuringly, grinning. "If it helps, I promise my focus won't be on your dick if that's what you're worried about."

Reid shoved him with an annoyed groan, rolling his eyes as Derek stifled his lighter. Once he composed himself, he opened the door, leading the way into Y/N's dimly lit room. The sight before them had Morgan stopping dead in his tracks, causing Spencer to stumble into his back with a quiet grunt.

There before them, splayed in the middle of her bed, was Y/N. She'd listened to Morgan's instructions, having stripped completely bare. Her fingers traced leisurely up and down the inside of her thigh, and there was a coy smirk on her face as she glanced up at them.

"Finally," she sighed, sitting up as they began to strip out of their clothes. "And here I was thinking I was about to have to take care of myself."

Derek arched a brow, tossing his shirt to the floor. Spencer followed suit, lifting his hoodie over his head and letting it fall to the ground. Y/N watched eagerly as more and more of their skin was revealed, deepening the aching need throbbing between her legs.

"You sure you wanna keep running that mouth of yours?" Morgan chuckled, reaching down to shove his sweats down. The sight sent a thrill through her body as she let her gaze wander down his torso, landing on his hardening cock. Her breath hitched as he wrapped a hand around it, stroking himself once before stepping forward.

Spencer froze as he watched Derek round the bed, tossing his condom onto her nightstand before kneeling on it behind Y/N. His fingers lingered on the waistband of his plaid pajama pants, his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn't help but stare as she shifted up onto her hands and knees, wiggling her ass enticingly in Morgan's direction as she kept her heated gaze locked on him.

"I'm sure—"

Her words were cut off by a yelp, her body jolting forward as a sharp smack sounded through the room. Reid's eyes widened, his cock twitching in his pants reminding him that he was supposed to be taking them off. He quickly sprung back into action, hurriedly stepping out of them.

"Since you're so sure..." Derek mocked her. "Then he'll just have to fill that pretty mouth up until you can use it to be nice."

He motioned for Spencer to move in front of her before pushing the back of her head down, leaving her propped on her elbows with her ass in the air and her head near the edge of the mattress. His hands rubbed up and down her sides, massaging gently as he settled behind her. "If you need us to stop, you just tell us, princess. Got it?"

"Got it," Y/N whimpered softly before another sharp smack landed on her ass. She cried out, savoring the slight stinging left behind from the motion.

Spencer's hand landed on her shoulder, stroking gently before guiding her chin up, waiting for her to lift back up onto her arms. His thumb traced her lower lip almost reverently before he stooped down to meld his mouth to hers in a hungry kiss. The moan that rumbled in her throat only spurred him on, and his tongue prodded at the seam of her lips briefly before he broke the kiss, straightening his back.

"Come on then, sweetheart," Spencer murmured breathlessly, reaching down to grab himself before tapping the flushed head of his cock against her bottom lip. "You heard him."

Y/N's tongue poked out to circle the tip before she moved forward, wrapping her lips around him. A groan slipped from his mouth as she worked her way down his length, adjusting herself to the feel of him in her mouth. She was honestly surprised when she got her first look at both of them—they were big.

Morgan waited until she found a steady rhythm to let his fingers drift down to her pussy, swiftly thrusting two inside of her. Her surprised cry was muffled by her mouthful, and he smirked, cocking his head as he began a brutal pace. "Huh? What was that?" He taunted, palming her ass cheek. "Couldn't hear you over all that gagging you're doing."

Spencer brought a hand up to cup her face as Y/N continued sucking, stroking his thumb along the indention his cock was causing against her cheek. The whine she let out around him was pitiful, but fuck did it feel good. He fought the urge to thrust forward into the warmth of her mouth, letting her keep a pace she was comfortable with.

"It better have been an apology," Derek continued, curling his fingers to stroke the rough patch of nerves inside of her that had her shoving her hips back into his touch. "You certainly owe us one. Doesn't she, Reid?"

Spencer chuckled breathlessly, nodding in agreement. He rested his free hand on the back of her head, keeping the pressure light enough to where he wasn't pushing down but enough for her to register the feeling. "She definitely does," he murmured.

“Then it's settled," Morgan hummed, pulling his fingers out of her dripping core. "Say you’re sorry to us, princess,” he demanded, landing a harsh slap to her ass.

Y/N let out a muffled cry around Spencer’s cock, gagging slightly as the movement pushed her forward. Spencer gently tugged her off of him, groaning at the line of spit drawing a bridge between his flushed head and her swollen lips. He looked down at her expectantly, stroking her cheek as he waited patiently.

“I-I’m sorry!” Y/N sobbed, looking up at Spencer with watery eyes.

If he didn’t know any better, he’d say she almost looked sweet with her flushed cheeks and pouty lips. But he did know better, and he knew that her being such a brat was exactly what landed her here.

“You behave and I promise I’ll take care of you, sweetheart,” Reid murmured, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head before guiding her mouth back onto his cock.

Morgan chuckled darkly from behind her, massaging the tender skin for a moment before reeling back and landing another sharp hit to the same spot. Y/N's noise was stifled by the thick cock currently stuffed down her throat, effectively gagging her in the most erotic way. He repeated the motion, his eyes locked on the way her ass rippled underneath his palm.

"You better be thankful he's here, pretty girl. If it were up to me, you wouldn't be cumming at all tonight because of how you've acted."

That prompted a low whine from the back of her throat, causing Spencer's hips to jerk forward and a whimper to slip from his lips as the vibrations caused pleasure to sear through his veins. Taking it as encouragement, Y/N continued bobbing her head along his length, fighting against her gag reflex each time she took him deep into her throat. It was needy and messy, the sight of her spit dripping down her chin and her smudged mascara enough to make Spencer throw his head back and squeeze his eyes shut so he didn't cum down her throat.

While Y/N was distracted, Derek had reached for the condom he'd set down on her nightstand and slid it on. He shifted behind her to line himself up at her entrance, running the head of his cock up and down her slit before pushing forward.

She instantly keened at the sensation of him filling her up, her mouth hanging open and letting Spencer's length slip out as her eyes squeezed shut.

"Shh, that's it," Reid cooed, stroking her cheek gently with one hand while fisting himself with the other, pumping himself slowly. "You're doing such a good job, sweetheart. God, you're so beautiful."

"Fuck—" Y/N cried out, her body rocking from the brutal pace Derek set.

“I didn’t tell you to stop, princess,” Morgan grunted between thrusts, reaching up to shove her head back down on Spencer’s cock. "And you better not fucking cum."

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she began to bob her head once more, her moans muffled and blended with theirs. She could feel her arousal dripping down her thighs, a physical reminder of how turned on she was from letting the two agents sent to protect her use her, her pussy clenching around him at the thought. The pleasure coursing through her was overwhelming as Derek began to stroke her clit in time with his thrusts, taunting her even further with the orgasm she couldn't have yet.

It didn't take long for Morgan's hips to stutter, ramming into her for a few more thrusts before he emptied everything he had into the condom with a shout. Y/N's body trembled with exertion as she fought her climax with every ounce of willpower she had, wanting to prove to both of them that she could be good. Reid wasn't far behind him, shooting ropes of warm liquid down her throat as he groaned her name over and over, his hips bucking into her mouth sloppily. Morgan rode out his high with a few more weak thrusts before slipping out of her, landing one final slap to her ass with a tired grin.

"I think she's learned her lesson from me," Derek chuckled, gathering his clothes and slipping them back on. "Have at her, kid."

Y/N let Spencer's softening cock slip free from her lips, her chest heaving and face flushed as she fought to catch her breath. The sound of the door closing prompted her to look up at him, her eyes blurred from tears. Spencer smiled softly, moving to hover above her on the bed.

"You did—" Reid kissed her lips tenderly. "So, so good, sweetheart," he murmured as his lips trailed down to her breasts, a soft gasp falling from her lips as his tongue swirled around one of her taut nipples before sucking it into his mouth. "And now—" His words were muffled around her skin. "I'm going to make you cum—" He pulled away, blowing softly on the pert bud before switching to the other. "Over and over and over."

Y/N arched into his touch, tangling his fingers into his hair as his lips moved down her body. "Please," she whimpered, spreading her shaky legs to make room for him.

Spencer took mercy on her, latching his mouth onto her clit and suckling gently before lapping up her essence in slow, hard strokes. A guttural groan fell from her lips as he began to devour her, his own needy moans against her skin pushing her that much closer to her already devastatingly close orgasm. Her hips began to rock against his face as her grip on his hair tightened, incomprehensible babbles of his name leaving her over and over as the pleasure in her stomach coiled tightly.

All it took was the feeling of his tongue prodding against her entrance for her climax to seize her. Wrecked cries filled the room as she thrashed beneath him, her head falling back against her pillows as he continued working her through it.

True to his word, Spencer made her cum another two times after that before finally relenting, pressing a sticky kiss to her forehead before trotting off down the stairs to grab her a water bottle.

When he returned to her room, he gently coaxed her into sitting up and drinking, rambling softly about the importance of hydration after intense physical activity. Too drained to say much, she offered a weak smile and murmured a quiet thank you before handing the bottle back. She then curled up against her pillows, surrendering to the exhaustion pulling at her—but not without asking him to stay.

The next morning, when Morgan and Reid got the call that the stalker had been arrested, they exchanged a small, knowing grin before heading off to share the good news with Y/N. And when she slipped her number into their pockets with a casual "hit me up if you're ever in town" while hugging them goodbye… well, Hotch didn’t need to know about that, either.

Continued A/N's: This took a bit longer to post than I originally planned because I kept coming back to add more whoops I'm so sorry for the delay!! But I hope you guys enjoy it and of course please feel free to let me know what you think! :) <3

REMINDER: I do not give permission for my work to be re-uploaded to any other platforms (c.ai, Tiktok, ao3, etc.) under any circumstances. If you'd like to translate my work, then please just ask me before doing so. I know it sounds whiny, but I (as well as many other fanfic writers) spend so much time on these and it's genuinely not okay to take credit for work that isn't yours. It's insulting and completely unnecessary. If I do see my work uploaded anywhere without explicit permission, I WILL say something.

[haveihitanerve]

BUS! I know I came back to land for a reason…

Also- for-word: um. Be prepared? Its not innocent. At all. Not about a bus. Um. yeah. Don't watch around people. Yeah. thats all the advice i can offer. Now go off into the world Penelope Jemima B. D. And show the world who you are 😭

(the amount of distress i had while watching this is insane) anyway:

Idk what AJ and Tom were saying at the very beginning but cuteness 

“You're gonna fucking love it.” Tom is an iconic king but also AJ and Sam laughing at his dumb little jokey intro will always be the cutest thing to me

“Hopefully in that order…” yes please lol

“BUS!” AJ really enjoyed that- gorgeous cackle, 10/10. Sam doesn't know what to do with that and Tom has just reverted to repeating it bc… wow

“First murder.” “last murder” goodness gracious what lmaooo

Toms little pat on AJ’s back as they started the scene 😭

AJ awkwardly scooting away as Sam comes closer but also moving closer because he needs to at all times be touching them 😭

“You don't see young people reading anymore.” Ok idk if its intentional or not but every time we get a scene like this in any way sam always starts insulting young people for being on their “tablets and iphones” and etc etc, and i don't know if its an actual grievance that he has at this point lmao(even tho we as fans connect to them thru this but wtv lol) or if hes mocking old people for their grievances and either one works for me really lol i just wanna knowww

Sam: Good book? AJ: *every book ever created ever in the history of ever leaves his mind* yeah yeah, uh u-yeah uh its the-the the- the sexbook. Yeah thats such a good book AJ, i agree

“Quite a coincidence.” AJ: *blinks, not sure what to do with that information just casually dropped with nothing else* wha-what Sam: *smirks* Tom: *offstage* :D 

Sam: I wrote the sexbook Tom: *oh did you??* *legs crossed, hand over mouth, classic tom pose that slays every. single. time.*

“Arthur big dick” Tom shaking with silent laughter, AJ almost caving with a laugh, Sam laughing as he says it. Idk shared laughter means a lot to me

“Name five of them.” No thats foul- because AJ couldn't even think of one and now you’re making him come up with fivvveee titles sam??? Thats loowwww XD

“Big Dick 1, 2, 3 ,4 and 5.” The groan of the crowd lmaooo- they really wanted to hear AJ come up with creative titles lol

Tom’s disappointed nose pinch in the corner XD

“Im just gonna fangirl here real quick-” yes AJ! Yes! Finally we are represented!!

Sam: You're a girl? *slowly removes his hand from Aj’s shoulders* AJ: *did not think that far ahead, nor that it’d be commented on* ye-yes? Sam: ah.*contemplates* this is much creepier than I thought it was LMAOOOOO (Toms little grin shaky laugh in the corner 🫠)

“I just feel like your writing- it just really gets to the heart of- of the sexual experience.” truly, inspirational work Sam

“Didn't like it.” Silence as AJ just stares at him. :| yes. Do continue. 👀

Tom and AJ’s laugh as Sam just doesn't answer XD

“He-hello?” AJ sounded genuinely concerned for Sam lol

“Where did you go?” “the sea.” regrets it before the words are even out- XD

The way they both broke, shook for a few seconds, and then straightened in sync is insane

Its like a fricking switch was flipped holy shit- laughing- then suddenly sitting upright and focused again lol wow

Toms little giggling in the corner omfg-

“Are you getting off? Whe-where are you getting off?” He heard the joke and immediately corrected lmaooo

“Well, turn to page seven!” “Ahhh!” “Ahhh!!” the whole finger pointing and like “hahahaha i knew you'd say it you shit” is amazing and i adore it

“How old are you?” Has to clarify for the scene, i appreciate it sam lol

“32. How-how-” “okay.” “okay.” yeah maybe its better not to clarify sam’s age- seeing as hes been at sea for 60 years yet was clearly an adult when he wrote the book and- lets not get into it

“Im actually getting off at the next stop-” “mhumhmh” AJ and Tom’s little smiles at his dumbass joke ahhhh i love

Also- side note- his book gets off already at page seven??? Thats pretty early right? Or am i tweaking? Actually its a book about sex called Sexbook so nevermind, ignore me

“Im actually a writer myself.” “oh really? What have you written?” “big vagina 1, 2, 3.” Sam completely folds at that, and Tom’s little smile as AJ smirks, proud of himself ahhh such dorks :) 

“But i haven't- *breaks* i haven't released any yet because *voice shakes with laughter* im too afraid. *sam casually dying in the background trying not to laugh* Im too afraid of showing my work *breaks again* cause i will be judged.” The hand to the heart is truly my favorite thing XD

“Jemima.” Sam: *shit what was my name again* AJ: Arthur B. D. Sam: *thats right thank you* Arthur B. D. WOW!!! AJ remembered a name!!! Brilliant. 

Brilliant stagecraft of leaving the bus AJ, adore

Tom gets to be in a scene now! Yay!

“Boys…” Sam thought he could sit down and relax- nope! AJ is trying, but, yep he has to stand again too lol

Tom unbuttoning his shirt just to reveal a shirt underneath is a power move holy shit-

“As the united kingdom communist part we just cant take that.” Tom squints at him: mmmhmmm. *shakes head because he does not like that* Sam: *does it back equally as passive aggressive* mmmmmhhhmmm

“Us fine upstanding, british *lacking a very substantial british accent* communists that we are.” 

I see Tom is trying to revive Xavier???? Or smth…

“Oh what did you just stutter to me?” His strut-

AJ’s tongue in cheek smile as he approaches-

That chin tilt???????? Oh ma my my-

“How did you get my name so wrong?” ahh how quickly the mighty fall😔

“Magnus o. Puss.” AJ’s almost break at the name lmaooo

“Cause i have a full magnus full of o puss.” Sam’s breaking of character so completely that he just covers his face in shame lmaooo XD

“You just wiped your nose.” “Sorry.” “you're wearing a jumper.” wow tom- just insult everything about him i guess XD AJ: 😔sorry…

Aj trying to escape the scene. Tom: don't just sit down and cry! No mercy…XD

“Flatmate.” “oh!” AJ’s relief lmaooo

Tom: I’m the other flatmate. :/ keep trying buddy, one day you'll join the scene again lmaooo

“Get on the couch.” “how was your day?” “how was your day?” “how was your daaaay?” the way theyre actually sitting really close together with Tom almost leaning against Sam’s shoulder 🫠

“You know, my writing,” “We’re big fans.” Tom casually interrupts to clarify and support- and like- i know its for the scene and they’re building a really quick relationship- but AJ actually is a writer/director and they do actually watch his stuff-😭- anyway-

Sam and Tom’s continuous looks at each other “Oooooooh!”

“Its from your time.” THERE WE GO!!! SOME OLD JOKES!!!! “Oh yeah, just us two 65 year old women with our 32 year old flatmate!” lmaoooo they're all women and not one of them originally meant to be XD

“Well we were five.” “At first it didn't do much for us.” I would hope not Tom, but thanks for clarifying…

“As we matured-” “as we matured-” “Like our bible-” “like our bible-” im loving this casual repetition they have going on, wonderful

“It was spiritual but also exciting.” “like cocaine.” “like cocaine.” Sam would know… and still with the repetitions XD

“That would be convenient to the plot.” I love how Sam feels the need to say this aloud and not just subtly hint at it- because knowing the two idiots he’s on stage with- sorry, chaos demons- they would totally let him try to build it up like that, and then never actually get the plot going in that direction lmaooo

“Oh my gosh.” Sam and Tom both cracking at his gasp- now drum roll, will Aj stick to the plot or is he throwing in a curveball???

“Is it convenient to the plot?” Tom looks like he doesn't want it to be- just to annoy Sam lmaooo

“And i looked out the window temporarily-” *almost breaks* Aj- i love you, but there are more casual ways to let this further the plot, you know that right XD

“Well this sounds perfectly plausible.” After he and Tom just destroyed any way it could be plausible

“You've cracked my code did you?” we get a snippet of Aj’s delightful laughter, beautiful

“Pass the torch up. There you go.” AJ: *finger point of “clever”* lol

“You cant go off again back to sea.” “..okay.” AJ’s break at the easy agreement lol-

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW i did not expect a cute hug scene!!!!!! Yay!!!! 🫠💗

Ok- i will be honest- i really though Aj was going in for a kiss at first- and i kind of believe Sam thought so too with the whole “i always wanted a daughter” to solidify its purely sweet and not romantic just in case aj gets any more ideas lol

Sam’s “oh!” and hunch drop into Big Dick because he thought he was Tom’s assistant??? And not big dick, but here he is again lmaooo

Tom’s little vibrating act made AJ fold and i think its wonderful XD

Tom climbing on a chair because he needs to be taller ofc, classic

“You could look, im not wearing underwear.” Sam, not only looking, but doing the appreciate, yeah head nod is crazy

“Im everything you fear.” AJ interrupting his build up to monologue to snort is priceless

“You were just a lowly intern-” Hang on a fucking minute sam- Tom is how old???? That was 60 years ago- i don't care how young and lowly he was- he was at least a teenager which makes him a seventy something yead old man- y'know what its better not to ask

“Even you couldn't… open it.” Tom freezing in place in an effort not to laugh, Sam’s head hanging in disappointment, and AJ just having the time of his life 

THEM GENUINELY JUST LETTING/MAKING AJ WRITE THE ENDING OF HIS SEX BOOK ON STAGE IS THE BEST AND CRAZIEST THING EVER WHAAAAAAAT

Tom’s little head drop forward like “what are you saying aj? Oh you're doing this? Okaaay…” 

“Penelope.” sam. Sam. sammy. Samuel. Its Jemima. 

“Im trapped in a vagina.” Tom, AJ, and Sam all cracking at the perfectly set up joke, classic

“How is he doing this?” Sam not helping at all and making AJ come up with it XD

“He says it just- hes a ghost.” AJ has given up lmaooo

“Astral penetration.” AJ BREAKING FULLY, FOLD ON STAGE, MID STAGE!!!!

“Magnum o, full stop, puss.” Sam checking his watch to see how much he has to speed this up lmaoooo

“Hell die inside of that vagina.” *both break* XD

“Im in my office on another floor…” Tom really wanted to be in the scene and they keep forcing him out XD

“Hes astral penetrated me-” Sam fully folds on stage too- he knew, he just knew AJ would make it weird- specifically made it so that they were established as daughter-dad relationship- and yet AJ still found a way LMAOOOO

“Don't make me call security.” “Call security! I don't care!” “Security.��� “JA. I am secure.” Tom baby im just not sure thats what he meant XD

“Im just going to put this out there: we have several copies.” lmaooo Aj come on!

“But then your friend would die inside wouldn't he?” AJ: *HAHAH FUCK YOU!!!* “ahh fuck.” Sam is impressed lol

WHERE DID HE GET THE SWORD?????

[drenched exit] sam: awww come on! *disappointed as though he didn't help set it up*

[door closes with a moist SMACK] Tom: *smiles because hes proud of himself*

“You've been meditating inside a big member!” why do they keep making it worse better

[juicy splash] Sam: *makes sound of disgust and disappointment*

“Its perfectly natural!” You tell ‘em king!

Physic powers?????

“You-you've pinned it to the wall.” … aj… theres no emoji or anything to convey my expression rn, but i assume its the same as yours so… yeah…

“You must challenge him.” AJ: *breaks fully because he did not expect sam to just appear behind him while hes being tortured?? by a man rubbing his own nipples*

“Feel the tension!” i feel the tension alright😭

Aj having to laugh mid battle (real) because  w h a ha t???

What is going on😭😭😭

OH MY GOD WHAT???? SAM ESCAPED THE VAGINA????

pleasedontkisspleasedontkisspleasedontkisspleasedontkisspleasekisspleasekiss

“That vagina was so acidic.” Sam please don't say things like that while you're dying in AJ’s arms- XD

“Im so happy i met you on the bus that day.” You mean literally that morning?? Or did i miss a time jump?

“The big vagina 4. *moans*” Death. 

aj helping tom up from the floor😭🫠

AND, SCENE!!! wow. That was… wow. Ok. Um. So. If you couldn't tell, i got very distressed towards the end. Like very. It was very good though, kinda what i expected. I’m sad Luke isn't there but glad he wasn't because it would have been so much worse 😭 but uh. Yeah. that was fun! So… hope you enjoyed???

@snek-of-eden you were so right, the chaos is unmatched and wow. Thank you!!

@dawn-speckled

[undomesticated-animal]

Honestly, body euphoria has done WONDERS for my ability to keep a physical self care routine, and I keep thinking back to Young Domi being so fucking OVERWHELMED by the thought of having to haul myself through the daily gauntlet of mirrors, lights, smells, self-shaming, and dysphoria inducing body modifictions made in a desperate bid to feel worthy of my skin. The idea that this could ever be anything but NEUTRAL AT BEST was laughable to me, so much so that I didn't even realize how terrified I felt by the possibility it could be real.

I can't go back and tell Past Domi all the things I understand now that I know would have mattered so much, but I can say them on the internet and maybe someone gets to learn them faster than I did.

Body euphoria isn't just for trans and intersex folks. And I mean this more than just "oh cis people should get gender ephoria too" (it's true!) because I also mean that the idea that body euphoria/dysphoria is neatly segmented up into little slices of life with no crossover is unrealistic and painful for everyone. Thinking that I was only allowed to care about my euphoria around gender actually made it REALLY hard to recognize I was having DYSphoria around my gender at all. After all, I avoided thinking about that in exactly the same ways I avoided thinking about the dysphoria around other aspects of my embodiment! I must just be bad at body positivity, "it's always easier to do for others than for myself 🤗 teehee" was a go to blow off for me when people asked me to confront how visibly uncomfortable I was in my body.

Because the thing is, it ISN'T easier to do for others than yourself. It really isn't. The part that's easier is avoiding the shame we feel about it. But once we confront the shame, loving your body is the easiest thing in the world. <- this is gonna be where Past Domi went "oh fuck this noise" and bounced but HEAR ME OUT

A body you cannot live with is a body you cannot care for, and a body you can't care for is a body you will almost always struggle to live with. This feedback loop is the CORNERSTONE of body dysphoria for a lot of people. It's a chicken and egg situation where it's nearly always going to be impossible to know what came first, but once either is present, the other will kick into gear to really hunker down in your psyche.

The feedback loop works the other direction too though. This is why people tell you to find the little things that make a tiny difference. They are (usually) not telling you that it'll be enough on its own, but every one of those you find uncovers new ones, and little by little you start feeling up to bigger pieces of self care because you've recovered enough to start putting int the front-loaded work for the worthwhile outcome

When that upwards feedback loop clicks? It's night and day. Like I genuinely don't know how to describe what it's like to just sort of.....wake up different. But it happens all the time, and it KEEPS happening. And you start to realize you're not "waking up different" you're just....getting to know yourself without feeling so uncomfortable with what you're learning that you shy away from yourself

I dunno man, I don't have a point here, but I've been processing old grief lately and the grief of how long I spent viciously hating myself and truly believing that's what neutrality feels like.....Little-Domi deserved better, and so do yall

[anomaliex]

Bad Kids (partially shameless projection) queer identity headcanons be upon ye

Notable that I think culturally literally anything that is not human has different ideas of gender than us. Some are very close to the point it hardly matters in a discussion like this (like elves and dwarves. It's mostly the same but I do think most elves are what humans consider to be feminine because they have a different idea of masculinity ((grace)). Or like, most dwarves seem masculine to humans for the simple reason that they all tend to have beards. Stuff like that.), but the further away you get from being hey pretty close to what a human is (like orcs or goblins) the further you stray from human understanding of how things work.

What if being intersex is way more common in a race of people, the concept of gender immediately becomes either way looser and less important or important with completely different values. Also I work under the assumption that whatever counts as "humanoids" (which is a very human-centric term but I like to think that's just because our POV is from a language that is inherently human) is a mammal and will generally have two sexes. But like, there's organisms with more or less than that, and in a fantasy world there's absolutely societies of intelligent species with similar characteristics. Imagine a weird hand wave, not relevant to this specific discussion as the bad kids are all human-shaped but it's something I find interesting. What would gender be like in that society if they had it at all? Living somewhere where that concept isn't really a thing (or at least not a thing in the way we understand it to be) sounds kinda awesome.

That said. Solace is a society mostly shaped by human standards and everyone who lives there somewhat conforms to them; and anyone who grows up there is probably socialised accordingly. Also Gorgug is adopted and doesn't seem all that connected to his roots and Riz is a third gen immigrant who doesn't get to see his extended family all that much. What I'm saying is everything I just said hardly matters in the context of the Bad Kids. Yeah. I just wanted to say it. I'm. I'm autistic. Thanks for reading my word vomit you're a real one for sticking through this far here's what I actually wanted to say.

Kristen. Obviously a lesbian. she/her and calls herself a woman but ultimately doesn't really. Care that much? About gender? And would not mind being referred to with masculine terms, it's more a matter of being afab so that's what she's going with.

Adaine I think has experimented with she/they pronouns. Often times she feels like her perception of life goes far beyond whatever societal constructs influence the present and she does not feel particularly attached to the idea of womanhood. I think she's aro spec but probably allosexual? Develops interest in all that a bit later than her friends and even then it's not. The same. She thinks guys are attractive, maybe girls sometimes, but doesn't actually feel inclined to do anything about that? Isn't looking to get into relationships or anything but yeah.

Riz is aroace because yeah. Personally I think oriented aroace because Baron being masc-ish does mean something to me, so he doesn't necessarily say it / find it relevant for other people to know but Riz personally IDs as gay + aroace. He does think some guys are attractive he's just sex repulsed lmao. I think he's the flavour of aroace where he'd happily engage in deep emotional bonds he just really doesn't understand what the fuck romantic feelings are supposed to be and how it'd be different than just loving his best friend(s) truly so much and is discomforted by the societal expectations and restrictions around the concept of "dating". ALSO about gender he's a he and its whatever. Does not care. Gender apathetic in the way Kristen is.

Gorgug isn't particularly attached to any labels, I think. He just likes who he likes, which is several people sometimes because he's also polyam. I think his lax view of his own inherent queerness has a lot to do with how open (and also inherently queer) his parents are. He just never really thought about it. Hit puberty and started thinking guys are hot and went okay this is not in any way special I'm way more worried about my favourite emo band breaking up rn. The only reason he ever came out to his friends was because he asked them for advice on how to bring up that he's polyam with Zelda (who I think was super cool with that and honestly from what we know that might be culturally normal to her), he does not consider it to be particularly noteworthy. Gorgug is similarly not particularly concerned about gender. I think he goes by any pronouns but also doesn't bring that up unless someone asks because he truly does not care or think it's a big deal.

Fabian's entire general person-ness feels queer to me idk. Bisexual and polyamorous. Probably aro-spec but he needs more time to figure that one out. Exclusively finds himself interested in women who are taller than him, this has nothing to do with being queer I just wanted to note that. He's the only one of the Bad Kids where I want to confidently say yeah this is a he/him man and he feels both comfortable in and connected to his masculinity. He ventures into gender nonconformity (starts with painting his nails, then make up, maybe a skirt when he's chilling at mordred manor) more and more as he gets older and more comfortable, I think, but that kind of only reaffirms to him that he's a man and loves being a man? Idk lol. Also for the record this is nonconformity in the context of Solace. For (high-)elven standards he's not like hypermasc dude bro but he's a pretty "manly" guy. Fallinel is like twink nation idk what to tell you. Now whether he's cis or not is a different question, while I personally think he is I do make a little mental cheer every time someone makes him trans.

Fig. They/she/it. She struggles with the disconnect she feels between her and the girl she thought she was a lot and it sucks, but eventually it does lead them to reexamine how they see themself and their identity and stuff. I think she eventually comes to the conclusion that yeah she has some attachment to femininity but ultimately exists in a space beyond the binary. Which is cool. Idk what label Fig would use, if any at all, but maybe something loose like genderqueer.

I know it's very commonly accepted that she's bisexual but like. Honestly. I think that was comphet. I think Fig is a lesbian who had some of the most horrendous comphet imaginable. None of their interest in those (concerningly) older men was genuine and it was all pretending to be someone else to get something and she isn't even sure why she wants that something that she can't quite place. And even though it longs so badly for the validation and confirmation that it's fitting into whatever role it is Fig is trying to emulate, she doesn't ever actually dare to get "serious". That's not actually what she wants. Uncomfortable and deeply concerning desperation for sexuality from a teenage girl who probably isn't a girl and certainly isn't actually interested in any of the men she's pursuing, and is so scared of just having to exist as herself deep down is such a real experience and if d20 wasn't a comedy show this could be the most visceral arc.

[littlemissshifter]

ummm idk how to explain this without sounding like a total debbie downer but the rise of fascism in the world really makes me doubt shifting for some reason like. why am i even here in such a shit fuck ass reality. does that make sense 😭 like maybe it’s just the fact that these situations make me feel out of control and hopeless like wdym there’s shit like human trafficking and nazis and genocide what the fuck.

idk what to do anymore and it scares me. it feels like my affirming isn’t enough and shifting is fake or something and i’m just dissociating from reality or something to cope with events happening in my country. 😵‍💫

hi! This is really important to talk about and thank you for bringing it up.

A lot of people can feel hopeless and lost with what's going around the world as a whole. We need to realise that these things exist and they exist in every reality. Not particularly the topics mentioned above, but the good and the bad. If even one or the other did not exist, there is negative in too much positive (eg being self sacrificial in the name of being kind) and positive in too much negative (people realising things need to change and stepping up to be the change they want in society).

I'm not saying these things should exist no matter what. I'm saying is that the good and the bad will exist anyways. Because the universe is all about balance and one without the other is non-existent.

You cannot change the ways of the world. But, you can change the ways of your world. Your reality.

Even if we all exist on this earth right now, we live in different realities. You're not only existing in this reality but in many others. The thing is you're only aware of existing in this reality. You can change that anytime. It is common to worry about the world, of how things are and what you want to do to stop it. You can do that as it is also the part of your reality. The world you look at is your reality. Now, you did not create 'this' whole reality. It existed before you were aware of it. Collective human consciousness created it.

You were 'born' or exist in this reality because you were shaped by it's beliefs. You played a part in it too. You were unaware then.

But, now you're aware. You can choose anything and decide it in your world. It will become true as reality is you. The only way to help the world as a collective is to help ourselves rise and become more. Become what we are truly as humans which is more than any physical event that has happened or is or will be happening in the 3D. This does not mean to stop helping people. But we need to help ourselves too by rising above the conditioning of the 'matrix' and knowing what we're capable of.

Again I'll say, let whoever runs the world run it, you just have to run yours.

[stinkybrowndogs]

gsps really are the most Dog of all dog breeds

I’m honestly surprised there are not more shorthairs on dogblr. What’s the hold up people. They are basically just a Malinois minus the teeth and brains and there are like 50 of those bopping around on this site! That and gsps are truly a dime a dozen. I could go on Craigslist right now and find a few byb litters. (I won’t. But I could.)

In all seriousness I think it has to do with the fact that the people who enjoy them unfortunately tend to lean conservative 😓 especially once you get into the hunting community. Being obviously gay or trans in hunting spaces is not super comfortable or safe feeling and I can only imagine being non-white in these spaces as well. That and the popular training methods used for gun dogs are… interesting. To say the least.

Some snippets of the books I was given when I was trying to get into hunting :

That isn’t to say that these are completely void of any useful information, there are lot of simple training steps that make perfect sense for the task the dogs are doing. But I think you have to take some of this with a grain of salt; when I was trying to get into hunting I found that I was able to achieve the same results with less adverse methods, plus my mentor was much more versed in modern dog training and conditioning. Brandy’s training is more of a blend of the two- the most adverse tools we used was a woah- harness (phased out pretty quickly) and an e-collar for long distance recall (again, there is a bit of a trade off of comfort for safety- the dogs job in the field necessitates being off leash and pushing out far ahead of the handler, and they can quickly get out of sight or earshot. Having a Vibrate-based recall cue simply makes sense. This should be paired with a gps collar just in case… I was told many a horror story of dogs falling into mine shafts and only being found because of the gps Tag).

Force fetching was never on the table. I saw one handler with a rubber bumper covered in toothpicks so his dog would not bite down too hard on it… never had to do that either. I’ve never had to strap an e-collar to my dogs belly. I don’t have to force my dog into a down to teach her. I don’t step on her toes (on purpose).

Her WOAH command maybe took longer than I would have liked, but it’s solid with lots of practice. Her recall is great and regularly practiced, and I don’t need an e-collar to reinforce it. She has a wonderful natural fetch, though we never formalized it. She’s beautiful when she’s on point, and it’s amazing to just see her do exactly what she was meant to do with little input from me. Truly no greater feeling than watching her cross back and forth across a field in front of me and freeze into a perfect point. It’s like she wants to chase the bird/rabbit/whatever SO BAD she’s shaking but her genetics won’t let her.

If I had the money to get back into hunting and falconry I would do it in a heartbeat. It’s a hobby that’s been sidelined since losing my job for obvious reasons, and it’s the first thing I want to pick up when I have a more stable income. If and when that will happen, I am unsure

What the fuck were we talking about. Oh yeah.

Dogs of all time for sure. But very much a dog that is good at the one thing they are good at, and if you DON’T do that thing, they can be…. A bit much. Being so environmentally focused can be difficult for people I think. It’s just not what many people are looking for (even though they give world class cuddles). That and the energy level; I don’t think it’s too bad, especially now that they are older (we go out for runs like 2-3 times a week) but also I simply would not leave the house if there were no consequences, so having a creature that will dismantle my furniture if I do not go get some vitamin D is a great motivator. The dichotomy of being a Velcro dog and being nearly oblivious to their handler when they are off leash is interesting, and probably why you don’t really see them in many sporting dog circles, or working outside of hunting. You gotta cement that recall before you let them off leash, ESPECIALLY being able to recall off of wildlife, and you gotta work really hard to reinforce handler engagement. I joke that Brandy is an idiot, but everything she needs to be able to do seems to be hardwired into her, and the things I had to teach her (recall, leave it, drop it, WOAH ect) she picked up quickly and hardly ever has issues with. (Dont talk to me about loose leash walking though)

Regardless, I love their personalities, their niche behaviors, their energy level, their ability to be the goofiest silliest idiots, their soft soft floppy ears, I love how they talk back to me when I talk to them, I love their big booming barks and club feet. I love that we are ultimately exploring the world together, and the joy we share when running through the woods or on the beach. I love watching them leap into the river with reckless abandon. And then at the end of the day, all they want to do is get under the covers with me and fall asleep. They are perfect monsters and I can’t see myself without them.

[erumai-maadu]

okay i’m finally getting around to your incredible reblog sorry it took so long LOL. I wanna respond to this in a full reblog too since you brought up a lot of incredible points!! I honestly agree with literally everything you’ve said here!

I think your analysis of Tenten’s abilities vs Ajisai’s is spot-on. We never quite see anyone seal stuff the way Tenten does, and even Sasuke’s weapon sealing seems closer to Ajisai’s method than Tenten’s. Tenten can seal truly HUGE objects, like just massive amounts of stuff with almost no limit.

Her ocean scroll did have only the water in it, because we see her full open it and there’s nothing else inside, but also like. an ocean’s worth of water?? of course there’s nothing else in it. Anyway I think the volume of stuff the cards can seal is much lower than a scroll.

Tenten does seem to pre-write all of her seals, which I really do like because it’s almost like how spellcasters in D&D operate, having a certain number of prepared spells before an encounter and having to swap them out as they see fit. It’s a fun strategizing aspect of them that I’d love to see Tenten do as well.

I almost wonder if Tenten (when she learns more advanced seals) likes to do recon and draw up the seals she thinks she’ll need before the battle. I’m going into semantics and the crunchy stuff here thinking of this like a D&D encounter lol, but I think it’s cool. For my own fic purposes, having her be able to seal like Minato does, on the go, is something I’d like her to eventually learn, but as a genin, what she can do with seals is still plenty impressive.

And about Tenten having a fragile ego, also absolutely on the dot. I think that’s her major flaw tbh. Her envy of others + her very fragile ego is a bit of a recipe for disaster when she encounters any enemy that is either 1) stronger than her, or 2) a bit of a wisecracker who makes fun of her during a fight. Temari was both and we see how that ended, we see it somewhat during the Kisame fight in shippuden too.

We also see this come out when anyone else makes fun of her. It’s fine when she does it to people, and she does it a lot, but when other people do it to her she gets upset almost instantly. She’s also quick to assume that people are better than her, but then gets irritated or sad about it, which is kinda funny bc girl…. you’ve seen her fight for all of 5 seconds come on now…..

Tenten is a more “traditional” ninja in a series about wizards who like to call themselves ninja even though they couldn’t be sneaky if their lives depended on it. She gets caught in the Star Guard Arc because who the fuck is going to believe that an upside-down bucket with a peephole in it is NOT someone badly disguised? but to your point, yes she does follow the basics of a ninja better than her peers.

And I think also, her peers and her teachers and the people we focus on are Not Normal for the typical Konoha shinobi. That would be more like the other tokubetsu jounin we see like Ibiki, Anko, Genma, Izumo and Kotetsu etc. who all seem to sneak around and follow the Shinobi Code and fight with weapons augmented by the occasional ninja wizard spell. and when you look at that, Tenten comes much more up to par with them, the normal and typical Konoha shinobi. In Shippuden with her Six Paths Tools and her ability to seal wholeass boats, she maybe even beats them out in terms of power.

So yeah, tokubetsu jounin Tenten whose speciality is sealing? makes a whole lot of sense. the rest of the k12 are the face of Konoha that everyone sees. The powerful and crazy shinobi that everyone looks out for, and Tenten is one of those other shinobi who are a knife in the dark. The ones who take advantage of the distraction of someone blasting a mountain to bits to stab the enemies in the back with a million knives.

But to her, who is peers with so many of the mountain-blasting variety of shinobi, of course she feels inadequate compared to them. I think it would do Tenten a world of good to hang out with the tokujo squad. Genma is Gai’s old teammate anyway, and it would help her self-esteem a lot, I think. To know that others are the outliers and not her.

On a related note, I’m so excited to talk about the Infinite Tsukyomi Dream in the next post, it’s such a cool insight into how Tenten’s ego betrays her at critical times and what her deepest desires are. They do a lot of interesting animation with her eyes in that arc and I’ll break it down more there but the bottom line with that arc is that Tenten, much like Naruto, just wants to be acknowledged by people. And even if she knows it’s a fake world, she just kind of lets herself get swept into it because she finally gets everything she wants, at the cost of what she believes in.

part 2 to this post of analyzing everything we see of Tenten from the show and data books to help me get a consistent character for her!

this one is gonna go over moments from all the post-series filler arcs she’s in from naruto original, or her genin years. this will also include the three genin-era fillers from Shippuden that she's in, up to the second chunin exams arc. These are all anime-only fillers, so these can be as canon or non-canon as you’d like them to be. We get quite a few moments where Tenten feels OOC to me (because yknow. filler), and I’ll point these out.

Some of these episodes aren't particularly important for Tenten's character, but I'll go through them anyway bc all that she ever gets is crumbs anyway. If you ever wanna do a Tenten rewatch of the show, these are some good filler arcs to watch.

I’ll be going in chronological order of the show’s (terrible and unclear) timeline. Unless specified to be from shippuden, the episode numbers I’m referencing are from the original series.

Jounin Leader! (Shippuden 360)

This is one episode of a long set of flashback episodes to Kakashi’s past, so this is more focused on him angsting than on Team Gai, but we get a few moments here. This one is about Kakashi and Gai’s time as a jounin sensei, and gives us more insight into Team Gai's first year as genin.

We get to see Team Gai’s “bell test” which is them just fighting Gai and showing him their determination. We get a few moments of Tenten using pure taijutsu, which is cool!

This isn’t about Tenten but I have to say it anyway. Gai is such a good sensei.

Just one scene earlier, we watch Kakashi brutally beat up three 12 year olds, and then we see Gai with his kids and he barely even touches them during their fight. He’s pretty much entirely on the defense, just redirecting blows and making space for himself. His most injurious attack is a kick that creates enough wind to blow them back several feet.

He really just wears them down and pushes them to their limit stamina-wise to see if they continue to fight. And they do! And he’s so excited by it!! it’s so cute, I love Gai so fucking much.

They take a little break after they all pass, and end up talking about Kakashi, who failed his team back to the Academy. It’s Tenten who brings this up, going “Good thing we didn’t get that other sensei that everyone talks about.” and looks around like she’s about to share some shady gossip. I love her sm, little busybody. She’s the one that tells her teammates all the tea in that scene, and they’re just sitting there like omg whattttttt :0

I think this dynamic absolutely continues on forever, with Tenten keeping her boys up to date on all the gossip and goings-on throughout the years.

Then we skip forward a bit to the chunin exams for that year, where Gai asks his team if they want to participate. Lee says no, because he believes he isn’t ready. Gai asks Neji, who also says no, and Tenten. She says that they’ll all train hard, and then take the exams again next year, together.

Their bond is so cute to me, and Gai clearly agrees because this drives him to youthful tears and he’s seen bragging to Asuma and Kurenai that he’s so lucky to have students like them.

Anyway, clearly some development happened with their bond during their first year as genin, and now Tenten doesn’t want to leave either of them behind or take the exam without them. She’s grown to care for them a lot in that first year. Neither want to leave Lee behind, even if Neji won’t admit it, and I love that sm. Team Gai forever 😭😭😭

The Neji Chronicles (Shippuden 192)

I already went over most of the Tenten moments in this episode in my last post, but a few more small details.

When Neji mentions that "perhaps I've made too many blind assumptions about the way things are", Tenten looks more relieved than surprised by this. It feels like something her, Lee, and Gai have been telling Neji for a while. I think Naruto was the push Neji needed to actually listen to/internalize everything that his teammates have already been saying to him.

Tenten actually looks annoyed to have Kiba along, probably because he was talking shit about Neji literally five seconds earlier and she yelled at him for that, but she accepts it because she knows they need the numbers.

She tells Neji to go ahead without her, and gives him a little wink, which is important to me bc Tenten is so cute! I love her sm

This episode also ends with the iconic ending 15 of Team Gai sparring with Naruto.

Deploy! Team Tenten! (Shippuden 184)

This episode takes place after the Konoha Crush arc. Tenten, Neji, and Naruto are sent out on a mission to get ninja tool supplies for the village from a research laboratory. This also my all-time favorite episode of Naruto.

Gai picks Tenten to lead the mission, and she's immediately surprised. Gai admits that he would usually pick Neji, but she's better suited for it on this mission.

We get a lot of Naruto and Tenten being cute asf in this episode, I love their sibling-like bond so much. She makes fun of him like I do with my brother, saying that he's lame, and when he tries to say maybe Neji should lead the team instead they start fighting.

Neji tells them to lay it off because it's just a D-rank mission, and then once she says let's get going Naruto's immediately back on board. Peak siblings.

I headcanon that Tenten and Naruto knew each other from the orphanage, and that's why they act this close with each other.

Through this whole episode, Tenten is more excited about new ninja tools than the actual mission, which is why I think her interest in weapons has been there for much longer than Shippuden 237 implies. She can immediately tell that all of the inventions he shows them are kind of useless, which isn't hard but again, shows that she knows weaponry very well.

She's also rather... I wouldn’t say rude, but not particularly well-mannered wth Io. At least in the english dub, she speaks fairly casually, and ends up yelling at him quite a lot. This goes with the first headcanon from this post from @tentenismybitch that Tenten isn't quite as well-mannered as Lee or Neji because nobody ever taught her that at the Konoha orphanage. It's not quite as bad as Naruto, but it's actually pretty close to that level of informality so. I'm sure she picked some stuff up from Gai during her first year as genin and that's why she's a little bit better than Naruto, but still a bit abrasive and not perfectly well-mannered.

She explains Team Gai's usual formation to Naruto, which is Neji, Lee, and Gai doing close combat with Tenten backing them up from a distance. This makes good use of Tenten's pinpoint aim, and to me, also shows that she has very good eyesight, like 20/10 vision (I'm a glasses wearer this is stuff I think abt sometimes LOL). She expresses a desire to fight on the front lines herself instead of always being backup.

Tenten can tell that Io and his apprentice have a passion for invention, which I think she also recognizes so well because she feels the same.

When they go through the trap that Io's set up, Tenten hands it off to Neji first, and he fails, and only then she says she's got it and gets through easily. This is really just supposed to show that even Neji can't do it but she can. I interpret this as a moment of Tenten's insecurity, reflexively leaving it to Neji because she underestimates herself ever since her fight with Temari.

She instantly recognizes the quality of the tools Io kept hidden, again showing how much of an expert she is with weapons. She also admits that getting through that trap was easy for her.

She relegates herself to support when the rogue ninja attack. When Neji gets knocked back, she quickly covers him by throwing some Fuma shuriken to put them on the defense and giving Neji some time to get up and recover. A good insight into Team Gai's usual formation and battle strategy.

Tenten figures out how to use Jidanda very quickly, and even Io comments on how well she uses it even though she's only seen it for maybe 30 seconds before starting to use it. He lets her take all the other tools she wants, and she seems a little disappointed, but takes Neji and Naruto's compliments.

Ah, My Hero Lady Tsunade! (Shippuden 237)

This episode is a full recap of Tenten’s genin years all the way up to Lee's surgery, so in a chronological sense it can fit anywhere before the second chunin exams arc. I’m just putting it here with the other shippuden genin era episodes.

This episode is pretty much entirely focused on Tenten and her self-worth, and while I talked about it a lot in the previous post, there’s a few more details I wanna go into.

In the opening scene, Tenten is shown on a playground listening to other girls talk but she doesn't really join in on the conversation. Interesting to me, since she grows up to be someone very personable and friendly, even with people she doesn't know well, so why is she different in this scene? We also don't see her with any sort of parental figure, implying that she likely doesn't have one.

So we move on from early childhood to her first year as a genin, and Tenten is shown to be the least physically strong of her teammates, lagging behind and struggling with most of the exercises they do. I will actually accept this because her main skill is accuracy and precision, not doing 1,000 pushups or running 500 laps. Every time they're doing the pushups or pull ups or whatever she's lagging behind after they get to like 1,100 so honestly she's not even doing bad at all.

When Gai tells her that Tsunade inherited the talents of the first Hokage, Tenten immediately asks him "are you saying talent is more important than determination?" This seems to be a real sore point for her throughout the episode, as she brings it up again and again. Again, she puts herself in with Lee in terms of talent, implying that she doesn't have any.

Clearly she underestimates herself, because even when she was trying to learn medical ninjutsu, she makes it up to the lecture of high-level medical ninjutsu, implying that she did make it past the lower levels! She fails to do the Mystical Palm Technique, but even Tsunade herself says it's hard to master in a different episode with Sakura. Tenten just doesn't have the fine-tuned level of chakra control to do higher levels.

I do disregard this sometimes, outright saying that she can't do any kind of medical ninjutsu because it really sets her apart from every other girl in the series and feels more right for her.

Tenten learns she's good at the summoning technique when Gai has her try to summon a weapon from a scroll to test if she's suited for summoning an animal. This inspires Tenten later after she fails to be like Tsunade to pursue becoming a weapons' specialist. Again, I tend to disregard this because I prefer the idea of her having always had an interest in weaponry, for various reasons.

Either way, Lee's determination to get stronger at what he's good at, taijutsu, inspires her to start working on seals and weapon summoning. She makes her own summoning scrolls, and clearly learns it all from books, which is really cool!

Given that she's described as a research enthusiast, this fits really well. She probably spends a lot of time at the library, and does a lot of her learning on her own by trial and error.

Again, because Gai doesn't have expertise in this, I think he sees her interest and gets her higher-level books from the library, talks to people for her, and helps her in any way he can since he can't directly train her on this.

Lee calling what she can do amazing, and calling her a ninja tool specialist makes her so happy, it's really cute how much she relies on him and how much it means to her that he admires her.

After his injury, when Tsunade tells him to give up on being a ninja, you can see Tenten's admiration for her kind of go down, which I think is fair. The image of Tsunade she made up for herself is very different than the reality, and when that illusion is shattered, Tsunade isn’t really much of an idol to her anymore.

She stands on the same roof that they first met on with Gai and Neji and starts crying, saying "so it means determination means nothing. so if you don't have talent, then..." and Gai stops her, tells her to trust Lee's resolve, and her own. Gai clearly recognizes that when Tenten talks about Lee, she's talking about herself as well, and that she clearly doesn't believe in her own strength. He does everything he can to uplift her.

"Trust Lee's resolve, and your own. It got you this far, and it will take you even further." This means so much to Tenten, and it makes her start to cry.

We flash back to the present, where Lee is stuck underwater, and Tenten jumps in to save him, saying "you never give up Lee, that's why I promised myself that I would never lose you, and I was able to give it my all too!"

Tenten and Lee's bond means SO MUCH to me. The two non-geniuses of Team Gai, they clearly rely on one another so much, and take inspiration from one another to push themselves further. Tenten equates herself with Lee a lot, especially in terms of how much they have to work to keep up with Neji, and I think it's really important how deep her and Lee's bond is as a result.

The Third Super Beast (Episode 195 - 196)

This arc is cool! It focuses on Lee and Gai's bond, as Gai takes on a new student who knows taijiutsu a little too well for a rookie genin. I think (??) this arc takes place before the other fillers, simply because Lee seems to still be fresh post-surgery, still not quite able to be on active duty and not able to train fully, so i'm putting this arc here in the timeline.

Naruto gets out of a medical exam (iconic Tsunade line of "you're not sick, just stupid"), and Tenten is waiting outside with Neji. She asks how it went, and he tells her he's all good, to which Neji responds snippily and walks off.

Naruto asks her what's wrong, and Tenten just rolls her eyes and tells him Neji's just "in one of his moods". She sounds annoyed herself, and I'm 100% sure Neji was being bitchy to her too. She isn't afraid to call him out for being moody, but she does give him a bit of leeway in not saying it to his face.

Given that Tenten is observant and good with people, I think during their first year as genin, she recognizes that Neji’s whole thing with fate and all comes from something deeper. Maybe not immediately clocking it as trauma, but at least understanding that there is a serious reason why he’s being Like That, so she’s a bit more lenient with him when he’s in a MoodTM or talking down on people.

She doesn’t let him walk all over her—she’s got more self respect than that—but she is a bit more forgiving than most. And this doesn’t go unnoticed by Neji. We see him being far kinder to her than anyone else, and letting her in on things he doesn’t normally share, and I think this is where it comes from.

All this to say: this is another of those moments. Neji is in a mood, and Tenten lets it go because she understands there’s something else going on there.

They bring in Lee for his exam, and he comes out looking sad because Tsunade told him to chill out on the training or else he risks permanently injuring himself. Tenten and Naruto see him looking all sad, and Naruto fully misunderstands Tenten saying that his diagnosis must have been very grim to mean he's going to die soon. In his defense, Tenten also doesn't correct him on this. I think it's because she thinks it'll be funny. Very sibling-coded.

Naruto and Tenten run to the training hall where Gai has introduced his temporary new student Yagura to Lee and is about to make them spar. They spar, and Yagura is as good as Lee is, and nearly breaks his ankle with a move that ends the spar.

Naruto asks Lee why he's trying to train, and "didn't the hospital say your condition was grim, very grim?" and when he looks to Tenten to verify this, she goes "well, they didn't exactly say that..." LMFAOOO what a little shit.

Then they all go to ichiraku with Neji to fill him in on the gossip, with Lee outside listening to them, and they all start talking him up, saying that they owe him a lot and that he's amazing, which is so stinkin' cute. They love him so much. Neji even admits that hard work and perseverance can mean more than natural talent.

Tenten does concede that if he pushes too hard, he might risk permanent injury and that would be impossible to recover from, and Naruto immediately yells at her for being negative all the time and calls her "the voice of doom" which made me laugh for no good reason.

But we can tell that Tenten generally seems to be a bit... I hesitate to say pessimistic outright, but she's very realistic and down-to-earth. She's not a constant damper on the mood, but she does cut in and remind us that yes, Lee's situation is pretty precarious because his injuries are severe, his surgery was life-threatening, and that's something to keep in mind.

It seems like a perfect in-between to Neji and Lee, where Neji is a major pessimist, and Tenten is optimistic enough to balance that out, but also real enough to balance out Lee's wild dreaming and overboard optimism. She warms Neji up and cools Lee down to bring them to equilibrium.

Tenten says she has a lot to thank Lee for, and the thing she immediately think about is... Gai trying to give them all those green training suits. She really respects Gai but she definitely still thinks he's lame, especially when she's a genin, and thanks Lee for taking the brunt of his attention and enthusiasm so her and Neji don't have to also become Green Beasts.

Yagura goes on a mission with Gai after shit-talking Lee, but he turns out to be an imposter so Tsunade has to get a team to go after him and Gai, and everyone please look at Tenten's ninja registration photo. She's so cute I love her so much. What a diva

After this we see Tenten fighting alongside Naruto, Neji, and Lee to save Gai.

As soon as Neji tells them that the enemies have Gai trapped in a structure infused with their chakra, Tenten is quick to start attacking the jutsu users, which seems to actually stop them from attacking Gai within the structure.

Neji also tells them the training dummies they're using to attack are controlled by seals on the back of their heads, and removing them will disable them. Tenten fires out kunai with perfect accuracy and just shreds a ton of the seal papers on the dummies, disabling many of them in a single attack. And then goes "Man, that was too easy!" Cocky ass mf, I love herrrrrrr.

Given that this is so soon after her fight with Temari, she's probably working slowly to regain her confidence, so it's nice to see her feeling good about herself!

We spend the rest of this episode with Lee and Gai and focus on their bond. Naruto even comments on how Gai and Lee have a really good bond, and that he wishes he had something like that with his teacher too. It's a super cute arc, and I really like it.

Curry Of Life Arc (Episode 152 - 157)

This arc is my favorite of the post-series fillers.

Gai gets deeply upset that his students have to go with Naruto on the mission and begs Tsunade to let them go alone, which I think is so funny. this is the iconic "why can't it just be my students who are beloved by all the world" line.

After Naruto embarrasses all of them and Neji pisses Tsunade off, Tenten leaves her office after telling Tsunade "Sorry about them! They have no manners, ahah", which is funny coming from her, given her behavior for the rest of this episode.

Tenten disses Gai, and Lee gets mad that Tenten thinks Gai's information might be wrong, and I just paused here and thought this screenshot was funny.

Tenten says that Raiga burying people alive is the worst thing she's ever heard, which fits with my headcanon that she's a little claustrophobic. It's not debilitating, but she gets a little uncomfortable in tight spaces and has trouble staying in them for extended periods.

Through this whole mission, and honestly a lot of the filler arc missions, Tenten follows Neji's orders in a way Lee and Naruto don't. Like him, she's a little more calculating and takes her decisions based on logic more than her morality, like a shinobi is supposed to. She’s always the one to get Lee and Naruto to try and see Neji’s viewpoint when they question his decisions, explaining the logic to them.

She's also the first one to notice that Neji is on edge when he spots Raiga for the first time, and immediately asks him what's wrong.

After Raiga is killed, they leave Ranmaru tied up in a cabin and go back to the town. When they get ambushed by the rest of his gang, Tenten gives them this look as they're about to fight, which I think is so cool.

She seems to like a challenging battle where she can really test her skills, and she's the first of the group to attack once they go on the offensive, clearly excited to fight.

Once they come back for Ranmaru, he tells them he has no reason to be alive, and Tenten immediately starts shitting on him. She says that everyone ought to be able to live on their own, at least the basics, and that she can't stand weak, indecisive people. Even as he tells everyone his tragic backstory, Tenten is the only one who reacts with barely any sympathy.

I like to think this mentality comes from her being an orphan. She's had to do these things on her own since forever, and she doesn't like people like Ranmaru or Haku who rely entirely on another person as their reason to live. She hasn't really had anyone to rely on like that until Team Gai, so to her, being able to live on your own without needing anyone is a basic skill.

Her disliking weak and indecisive people also explains why her self esteem is so low after losing to Temari. She felt so weak and useless in that fight, and she hates herself for it.

When they're back at the Curry Of Life shop, Neji sends Tenten back by herself to check on Karashi and Ranmaru. When Karashi comes back and tells Neji that Tenten slipped and fell off the cliff, Neji is the only one that knows immediately that it's a lie. He trusts her skills, and knows damn well that Tenten isn't clumsy like that, no matter what anyone says.

There's an awesome fight scene between Tenten and Raiga, where she very nearly overwhelms him, quickly binding him with her chained sickle and flinging a scroll's worth of weapons at him with one hand. She fights very smart, switching to a wooden staff after getting struck by lightning through her chains, and also noting she still can't hold her staff up too high because of the storm.

She flings dirt into Raiga's eyes, and even manages to disarm him of one of his swords by catching it with her staff and throwing it away, all in one movement. She gets knocked out after getting her staff broken and blasted with lightning, but overall, she handles herself with great skill in this fight.

Tenten is also weirdly uninjured for having been struck by lightning thrice during this fight, which fits with my headcanons of her having lightning-natured chakra.

Once she wakes up again, Tenten grabs Ranmaru, who passed out after bringing back Raiga, and brings him to a safe place. She takes care of Ranmaru and tries to nurse him to health. When Ranmaru says that he'd rather die, Tenten tells him that she won't let him get off that easily, and that he has to live and take responsibility for all the people he killed.

She's not completely lacking of sympathy for him though, because when Ranmaru starts coughing and looking worse for wear, Tenten stops yelling at him, and wraps him in a blanket to head to the Curry Of Life Shop, and takes him there through the rain. Even in the shop, she expresses her determination to save Ranmaru, and sits there taking care of him while Grandma makes the curry of life.

She coerces him to eat by saying that if he feels nothing after seeing Karashi and Grandma work so hard to make him the curry, then he's a "horrible human being" LOLL. She really does not like this kid. But it's her expressing all of these things to him that finally gets him to eat, and know what it is to feel alive. Even though she yelled at him more than anything else, it's her strong morals and worldviews that move him.

Just like we saw in the Forest Of Death, Tenten's medical care when it comes to Lee seems to be "shake him really hard and yell at him until he wakes up".

Her medical care for Naruto is to put a plateful of curry in his mouth, force him to chew it, and call him an idiot for passing out. And then she calls him a dumbass when he says he thought she fell down a cliff.

And then with Neji, she gets annoyed and tells him to get up and get going, feeds him like four spoons of spicy curry, and kills him immediately. I love her so much.

She really has great bedside manner LOL. Another reason why I think people see her as unfit for medical ninjutsu + more proof for those headcanons on her being a little bit rude because of her upbringing.

This arc is really fun overall and I think it's a good rewatch for some cool Tenten scenes.

Academy Student Leading Mission (Episode 158)

Tenten is in this one (1) frame of this episode, but it’s important to me because look at her using the Dynamic Entry!!!! We don’t get a lot of Tenten Taijutsu moments and this is one, so I just needed everyone to see her using her dad's sensei's move.

The Appearance of Strange Visitors (Episode 161)

This episode is really funny actually, and it features Tenten, Sakura, and Tsunade being absolute little shits, which is always a treat. This is just a very brief Tenten moment. Two people come into the village disguised and Lee and Gai, but nobody is fooled... except for Naruto.

So to drive them away, Tsunade, Tenten, and Sakura assign them missions to get them to go away. Tenten is the first one to take a crack at them, and we see her coming out of an apartment building to talk to them. She's also wearing her green outfit instead of her usual pink one!

Character-wise this episode isn't anything to write home about, but it's confirming that this green outfit is her "casual" clothes, while the pink is her ninja clothes, and that might be her apartment??

In the shot of her apartment from Shippuden 237 (and later in the RTN filler), we don't see any relatives, and she seems to be by herself in the apartment, much like Naruto. I think this is evidence for her being an orphan, living by herself after making genin.

This also raises the possibility that she met Naruto and/or Lee there when she was young.

Cursed Warrior Extermination Arc (Episode 162 - 167)

This arc feels like it should not be this long for some reason, there's just always some dumb bullshit going on. Either way there's not any noteworthy moments here, there’s just one thing I want to mention.

This arc features Neji, Tenten, and Naruto out on a mission to the Land Of Birds to stop The Cursed Warrior, who’s been haunting the land. After encountering the Warrior once and fighting it, they regroup and discuss who could be dressing up as it, and decide to come meet Lord Sagi, the feudal lord of the land to see if he knows anything and will tell them.

Tenten sees him and immediately calls him "a cutie" and "totally her type" so... her type is quiet and refined pretty boys?

Real quick, Tenten's type being "cool people" also speaks to how she wants to be perceived as well. Her embarrassment toward Lee and Gai's antics, her general refusal to participate in them unless one of them forces her to, it all shows that she really wants people to see her as cool and competent. This is also shown with the people that she admires or finds cute. Sasuke, Kakashi, and Sagi here, who is shown to be somewhat similar to Sasuke in personality and motivations, all have a similar disposition.

Tenten doesn't try to emulate the cold personality type they have, she still acts like her usual personable and open self. She just wants to be perceived the way she and others see them. People look up to and admire Sasuke and Kakashi and Tsunade, and that's what Tenten wants too. To be admired and respected. She wants to be "cool".

In the end, the feudal lord turns out to be Sagi's sister pretending to be him, so actually a woman, and Tenten doesn't take back the fact that she called Sagi cute soooo... personally for me? Bi Tenten confirmed. thank u naruto filler.

Star Guard Arc (Episode 178 - 183)

I won't lie, this arc is barely interesting the first time you're watching it, and any rewatch gets super boring quick. They sing this one song so many times and for like 2 mins at a time too. I skipped so much of this on 2x because it's so slow, and with very minor Tenten moments.

Anyway so it's Team Gai + Naruto going to the Hidden Star Village because they called for help from the Leaf Village and Tsunade sends them out. They meet a boy called Sumaru who wants to be the village's Hoshikage and make their village great again or smth idk and they're supposed to be guarding a star that some mysterious ninja keeps trying to steal.

There’s not a lot of big Tenten character moments here, this arc really just has her on screen and doing stuff so it’s here.

Lee and Tenten get assigned by Neji to keep an eye on the village leader's men, and it's Tenten who keeps Lee from confronting them directly, as Lee feels there's no honor it in. Tenten has to keep yelling at him to just be quiet and follow along, and Lee is reluctant to do it but listens to her anyway, which is also a testament to their bond and his trust in her, if Lee is willing to put aside his principles if Tenten really insists that this is what they have to do for the mission.

Tenten also just seems to be very good at convincing Lee to go along with her ideas in general.

We have a really silly scene of Tenten and Lee literally just hiding under a barrel with a peephole as a disguise, and Lee questions if this is really the way of the ninja.

There’s not really many big Tenten character moments here that I could gather.

Konoha Plans Recapture Arc (Episode 197 - 201)

I really love this arc! It's a fun one all around and it's one of the few where we get to see all of the k11 working together. It keeps the tension up all throughout, and has a good mystery element to it.

We don't see Tenten until midway through the episode, when Shikmaru is ordered to form a group to find the stolen blueprints. Team Gai + Hinata all go to each of the construction sites to check if the spy Genno had left any traps there, but find nothing. They reconvene in a dango shop and Tenten quickly notices that the only places Genno went to are restaurants around town.

Team Gai + Shino and Kiba then get assigned to go check the site of Genno's "death", and Tenten notices and points out that some trees are burned on both sides, which isn't normal unless the explosions came from multiple places, not one like originally suspected.

She analyzes the positions of the burns on the trees and determines that a ring of bombs on the outer trees was set off first, and then the one in the center, and that if he'd timed the explosions right, he could have made it seem like one blast.

When they find the escape tunnel Genno used after the explosion, Tenten also recognizes that the construction of the tunnel allows for it to collapse on itself.

Clearly she has a knowledge of traps and other such things, and is crafty. The vibes are giving engineer tbh. I really like this detail! I think from what we've been shown of Tenten as this smart and observant character that likes weapons and tinkering, traps and escape tunnels seem right up her alley. When Team Gai sets up camp she's probably the one putting up traps and stuff around the perimeter.

This also plays into her strategic mindset, and I think in any kind of ambush missions she gets, she does the same, setting up traps and escape routes. She's exacting and detailed in her work, and likely self-learned all of this from books or other sources, since Gai's expertise is not in this.

When they find the first paper bomb, Tenten is the one to disarm it, once again showing her expertise in not just weapons, but also paper bombs and the like.

This is also the arc that we see Tenten using this sick fucking bow. It has a scope on it and can shoot 4 arrows. I feel like it's kind of hard to reload?? but I'm sure there's some cool ninja way they do it so.

Menma Memory Arc (Episode 213 - 215)

Tenten doesn't appear until the second episode of this arc, where her and Neji are assigned on a mission with Naruto to take this guy Menma to the Land of Rice Paddies to help him regain his memories.

There's not too much notable here, since this arc focuses more on Naruto and Menma than Neji and Tenten, but there's a few things.

Tenten's observant nature is really put on display in these two episodes, as a lot of the time, she's the first one to point out surrounding details to the others. At one point, when the enemy is in a tree observing them with a spyglass in a tree, Tenten notices the glare of the sun off the glass and warns everyone that the enemy is there. To me, this also supports my idea that Tenten has really good eyesight.

This episode, like many, also shows Tenten having to physically get Naruto to be quiet. She does this with Lee as well. I think it's kind of funny that it's always her having to quiet down the two impulsive and loudmouthed ones, and she always does a pretty good job at it, appealing to their sense and somehow managing to talk them down.

This once again shows that not only is Tenten physically strong enough to restrain Lee and Naruto physically, but also shows her people skills and how well she can convince the two of them to chill out.

Suna Support Mission (Episode 216 - 220)

Tenten only gets one scene in this last arc of the original series, and it's in the very last episode, complaining that she was literally the only member of the Konoha 11 to not go on the mission.

I adore this scene too because we get to see Tenten sparring with Lee using pure taijutsu! And she wins! Another instance of her using the Dynamic entry!

Chunin Exams 2: Electric Boogaloo (Shippuden 396 - 413)

This arc is some of the best Team Gai content we get from this show, since it focuses on on them primarily for a lot of it. I'm not going to summarize every single thing that happens but I'll go over the major Tenten character moments.

During the written exam, Sakura mentions this test would be with Naruto here because he'd just score a 0. Tenten says things would be easier for their team if Lee were as dumb as that. So Lee is not completely stupid, as we well know, and Tenten knows that well.

Lee tells them they should try to arrive first, and Tenten tells him there's no advantage to that. Tenten tends to be laid back, so unlike Lee, she doesn't like exerting more effort than she has to, as we see during some training flashbacks later in the arc. She doesn't want to do anything that won't directly benefit her, and she's... a bit lazy LOL.

Still, they end up going at full speed anyway, which is absolutely because Lee and Neji are both competitive little shits and made Tenten go along with them at top speed. I bet she spent the whole trip complaining.

Lee says that they've never been to the Sand Village before, so I think they actually haven't taken any missions there as genin. This actually is accurate because in the Gaara rescue arc, they also don't go to the Sand, they head for the Waterfall Village in between. Neji says he went there once on an errand for the Hyuuga.

During the dinner scene, Tenten makes fun of Kiba when he calls the shinobi from the Sand "mean-looking", telling him that he's also pretty mean-looking. I think it's cute that she teases all of the other konoha 11 like this, especially Naruto and Kiba.

When one of Shira's teammates mentions a cactus, Tenten also realizes that it was the cactus flowers that caused the genjutsu they were put under. I have a headcanon that Tenten studies genjutsu, or at least has a passing interest in it and that's also why she gets stuck in the Road To Ninja world instead of the full genjutsu during the war. I'll elaborate on this when we get to that arc.

Tenten pulls out this giant ladder from a scroll to get her team out of the sand waterfall pit. We're shown at various points that Tenten is a bit of a hoarder. She has everything in her scrolls, from cooking items to tents to giant metal shelters. Any item that's vaguely useful to her, she'll just toss into a scroll. But she clearly has some kind of organizational system because she knows exactly which scroll and which seal every item is in. Likely, she organizes everything by scroll—so a weapons’ scroll, a food scroll, a camp setup scroll, and so on.

During Lee and Shira's battle, Neji is seen explaining all of the intricacies of their taijiutsu to Tenten. We also see in a flashback that he does this for Tenten all throughout their training, whenever Lee and Gai are sparring or when Gai is explaining a technique to Lee. It’s very cute that he does this, keeping Tenten up to speed with the rest of them. This is also an indication that while Tenten is still fairly knowledgable in taijutsu (since she knows enough to ask Neji follow-up questions), it's not her main focus and is more like something she relies on in a pinch.

After this we spend two episodes with Team 8 before going back to Team Gai and their encounter with Ajisai. Tenten pulls out dinner from a scroll, which like I mentioned before, she's a hoarder and a packer. What's interesting to me is that she has food stroed in there, which means you can store food in storage scrolls. I wonder how good it stays in there. If an item needs to be refrigerated, would that change the seal? Much to consider.

Tenten gets irritated at Lee calling her convenient, because she feels that it makes her seem like a tool that's convenient for her team, rather than him saying her technique is convenient.

She storms off, and during her training flashback, we see her and Gai training with nunchucks. I absolutely think Gai was the one that taught her nunchucks, since it was one of the few weapons that he has a lot of expertise with, so he helped her out there. It made him very happy to be able to teach her something new rather than having to just give her resources and letting her figure it out.

Gai calls her convenient in the flashback and she has the same reaction, telling him not to talk to her as if she's some kind of tool. To his credit, he really didn't mean it that way, but it still irritates her. This is another sore point for her, clearly. It directly goes against her want to be seen as cool and admired, since it makes her seem like just a utility, a bag to pull out whatever they need in the moment, and she wants to be admired for her skills, not dismissed as a convenient thing to have around.

There's a funny moment after Tenten's flashback when Lee calls to her and tells her dinner is ready. She asks if the okunomiyaki turned out okay, and Lee looks nervous and says "I have my doubts about them..." which made me laugh.

When they start to fight Ajisai and her team, Tenten immediately picks Ajisai as her opponent after seeing she uses the same jutsu as her. She clearly still has a competitive spirit, even if it's not as strong as Lee or Gai's.

There's a flashback to her training with Gai, and Tenten doesn't seem to progress very far in the span of two years, especially compared to Neji and Lee.

Even after two years, she says she still struggles with chakra control and that her chakra level isn't very high. Plus she seems to not know that she has skill with the Summoning Technique, which is directly contradicted by Shippuden 237 where she's introduced to it in her early genin days and told directly by Gai that she has the skill for it.

I find this inaccurate and reject it.

Tenten is shown to be a quick learner, an enthusiast for research, and deeply upset over her loss to Temari. There's no way she hasn't spent nearly every day in the past two years honing her skills in more complex fuinjutsu, weapons, and other space-time ninjutsu in an effort to beat Temari, and also prove to herself that she isn't weak.

And about her chakra level not being high enough for summoning an ocean, I think Tenten has much larger chakra reserves than average. That's why her chakra control isn't very good (like naruto) and she can use the Treasured Tools. So it doesn't make sense to me that her chakra level is too low for what she does in the show or that she has to work to increase it.

I think her training with Gai is more about chakra control than about increasing her chakra. She hones her control so she can do more complex seals and can control how much water or fire she releases from her scrolls. To this end, Gai has Neji help her, since he has good chakra control. I think Gai also makes Tenten train with Sakura, though Tenten is slightly reluctant at first, and that’s how they grow to be eventual friends.

I think her aptitude for summoning implies that she could also summon animals if she could get along with one long enough to sign a contract. Personally, I think she should get bears.

The flashback ends with Tenten falling off of a cliff that her and Gai were climbing as training, and then she wakes up in the tunnel. We actually never see what happens after she falls which is really weird.

While Tenten walks with Ajisai, she finds her unresponsive to her small talk and giving her attitude, and points it out directly to her. She doesn't take attitude from Ajisai but is still kind, and doesn't raise her voice or start arguing for the sake of it. She very calmly lays out a logical counterpoint, still sounding pretty friendly, and still jokes around with Ajisai when she's done.

I feel like this is also a fairly good insight into how she used to deal with Neji before the chunin exams.

Once again showcasing her observant nature and situational awareness, she hears the ants coming well before Ajisai does. Tenten also gets grossed out by the dead ant, which is fairly consistent with the rest of the show. Tenten is shown getting uncomfortable when she sees bugs or just anything traditionally "icky". Not human blood and guts tho. She's funny for that.

She also asks Ajisai for advice with the summoning jutsu, which I still reject that she needs to, and gets disappointed when she doesn't have any. She sighs and says "I guess it's just sheer talent," looking visibly upset. Even after two years, this insecurity hasn't fully gone away.

Tenten is also visibly insecure when Ajisai starts sealing the rocks into her papers, and when Ajisai asks her to help, Tenten says she can't, because... she doesn't have the chakra for it, I think?? That or she's not confident enough in herself to be able to do it. But then one flashback later she summons an ocean??? How does this work oh my god.

Anyway, we get a flashback to Team Gai at a restaurant when he asked his students if they want to participate in the second chunin exams. Neji and Lee say a very confident yes, and Tenten goes along with them but looks upset. Gai asks if something is wrong, and Tenten asks if she's gotten stronger since the last exams. Gai says she should have, and Tenten says that it seems like she has nothing to show for it. Neji and Lee immediately turn to look at her and both seem shocked at this.

I actually really like this moment because in accordance with my headcanons from earlier, Tenten has very much improved in the past two years, but due to her insecurities, and specifically her insecurities surrounding the chunin exams, she doesn’t see it.

Lee and Neji are shocked because they can’t believe that Tenten thinks she hasn’t improved over the past two years. And they know best, because they’re the ones who have been training and going on missions with her. This is cute to me, a “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you” moment.

I headcanon that whenever Tenten has these moments of insecurity after the first chunin exams, Lee and Neji both encourage her in their own ways and help bring up her confidence.

Gai tells her that “hard work and determination will never betray you” which really seems to be Team Gai’s second motto, right after “stronger than we were yesterday”.

When they're waiting out the sandstorm in Tenten's little shelter, Tenten looks a bit uncomfortable the whole time, again supporting my headcanon that she's a little bit claustrophobic.

Once the jinchuriki are attacked, the focus goes to Neji and his strategic knowledge to show why he gets double promoted to jounin.

At Neji’s request, Tenten pulls a scroll out of what looks like either a waist holster inside her shirt, or her bra since she reaches into her shirt to grab it, and gives Neji a chakra blade, which he uses to cut into Fu's cocoon.

The chunin exams end after the third round is canceled, and everyone in the k11 gets promoted to chunin, with Neji getting a double promotion to jounin. Lee thanks his teammates, and Tenten says "Our three man squad is forever, right?" and SP clearly hates me specifically because they zoom in on Neji and have him say "yes I certainly hope so" and that's just plain rude when we all know he died literally one arc ago in shippuden.

Now one thing I want to mention here that always stood out to me about Tenten. We never get any backstory for her the way we do with any other character. The most we get of her childhood is a single scene of her declaring when she's young that she wants to be like Tsunade. Almost every other character shares pieces of their backstory with others. Not Tenten though.

I think this shows Tenten to be a very private person. Neji's told her everything about his clan and she talks about his backstory at times, or talks about Lee's, but neither of them ever mention hers. She doesn't talk to others about her past or her motivations. She keeps her goals and hopes to herself. I don't think she's cold about it, but she probably redirects conversations about herself when they come up.

I think eventually, she begins to share stuff with her teammates, but at first, I think she keeps quiet about her backstory, no matter how mundane or interesting it could be in comparison.

Anyway, this wraps up Tenten's genin years! Next we move on to her chunin years in Shippuden!

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[iangallagherisadeadman]

post-s11 Tami definitely gets tired of Lip and leaves him.

yes, I do like them as a couple, I think it is an interesting dynamic and that Tami is good for him honestly, even though they lived completely different lives and crash so many times because of it throughout the last seasons.

fact is Lip won't ever change and will keep making the same kind of mistakes and she will get fed up with it eventually. they'll go different ways, maybe keep a somewhat friendly relationship, and she will get a new partner and Lip will have a Sean kind of relationship with Fred: that kid is the most important thing in his whole life and he's constantly hunted by the fear of drinking again and hurting Fred.

[magiclwritings]

The explosion on the other end as he pressed the phone to his ear was anticipated. As was the rambling and scolding and basic grabling of whatever words he was saying. It most certainly had to do with Quintus and how he wasn't at the house like he should have been. What Cesare hadnt' anticipated was how close he'd just come to kissing the man that had just disappeared into the car. And yet he wasn't upset that they hadn't. The thrill from it alone was worth the regret of not feeling it in that moment but he also didn't hate that it didn't happen. Mostly because he wasn't sure what was going on with Quintus. Or, what had gone on with him. He has to stay. In that moment Cesare made up his mind and he was going to do his very best to convince him to stay. He had to know how strong that spark was on the other side of that almost kiss.

"He's fine, Max." Cesare said plainly, finally having let him talk himself into circles. "I know you haven't seen ..." He sighed, kicking the asphalt beneath his shoes in frustration. "Well I just thought since we did, ... No!" He squinted, looking towards the car and only realizing then that Quintus did in fact have his glasses on his face. "Look." Cesare said kind of loudly, enough to make a few people close by look over at him. He smiled and walked quickly towards the car then, the magic of that almost fading with each step. "We are on our way back. He is fine." He smiled a bit angrily as he gripped the handle. "Well maybe you could have told me he was coming home. You're not the only one that missed ... " He was cut off and he'd realized he'd crossed a line a sentence too late.

Cesare sat in the driver's seat and pulled on his seat belt. He'd caught a glimpse of Quintus in his seat, glasses on his face and he had to admit he absolutely looked much better than him. "We're leaving the store now. I will have him back at the house and you can talk to him then. You're not his keeper, Max. Don't start pulling that shit." To which there was an immediate apology and a few more words later the phone call was disconnected and the keys found their way into the ignition, propelling the car to life once more.

"I'm damn glad we didn't get him anything." He told Quintus, looking over at him and he winked. It never felt good to fight with his best friend. In fact, he couldn't truly remember the last time they had but he'd be damned if Max was going to get the ass because Quin was back. They could all be cool and things might go back to normal. He hoped with a fierceness anyway.

Traffic was near nonexistent on the way back making for quick get away. Cesare looked at the dashboard clock and sighed. They had less than an hour and Max would be home to join them. Cesare shifted the gear down and then into park as they came gliding into the driveway with ease. He'd been stealing glances at Quintus the whole way home, more than enamored with their little run in in the parking lot. And the fact that he was wearing something of Cesare's couldn't be overlooked either. Granted they were merely sunglasses, he looked so damn good in them. Calm the fuck down.

"Want me to cook something up for you?" He asked plainly, sliding out of his own seat and quickly around the back of the car to retrieve their bounty in plastic bags. Cesare leaned in, grabbing a bag that had slid all the way forward. As he did so he felt Quintus get out of the car and he'd swore he muttered something to him. Cesare rolled his eyes and slid backwards, gathering the last of the bags into both hands as the younger man came back in to his view.

"Just because you were gone all that time doesn't mean I still won't kick your ass for talking under your breath at me." He teased, huffing out as he balanced and lifted one arm to slam the trunk down. "Now, go get the door for me, please." He batted his lashes at him and came round, heading for the door.

Quintus waved him off. “Please, we just spent hundreds of dollars on junk food. They’ll want us back.” He was nearly covered in bags, the cart overfilling with his body and their purchase. “And if they do, I’ll just throw my last name out.” He wouldn’t. Quintus never liked to use his name to get things he wanted, but it was always sitting in the back of his head that he could if he needed to. If it suited him. “Plus, you know they’ll be talking all day about us. We gave them entertainment to get through the rest of their shifts.” 

He handed off bags to Cesare from inside the cart until nothing was left in it but him. Cesare pushed him towards the corral. Then Quin was reaching out, snatching the tossed keys out of midair, looking down at him with slight disbelief. A place you missed. How could he when the only place he missed was being at Cesare’s side, and he was already there again? 

Strong hands pulled him from the cart, but Quin’s pants snagged on the cart's edge, sending him falling forward. He anticipated the inevitable fall, but his braced hands connected with a body instead when he reached out to, expecting to hit the ground. Quin barreled into Cesare’s chest. He would have ricochetted off of his body had the man not been holding him steady. A soft ummph escaped past his lips, and Quin looked up, inches away from Cesare’s face. “Thanks,” He said breathlessly, eyes darting from Cesare’s eyes to his mouth, then back up to his eyes. It was a moment that felt like forever, standing there in Cesare’s arms. He still hadn’t let go of Quin yet. Quin didn’t want him to. He let out a shaky breath, pushing up on his tiptoes. 

A ringing broke the moment. Quin leaned back on his heels and reached behind Cesare, tugging his cell phone out of his back pocket. He wasn’t surprised to see Max’s name on the screen or the stupid, goofy picture of the two of them as his contact photo. Quin turned the phone screen towards Cesare before looking at the screen again and declining his brother’s call. “Guess we’ll have to raincheck,” He said, leaning forward again to tuck Cesare’s cell phone back in his pocket. Quintus tossed the keys up for Cesare to catch and walked towards the passenger door. He pushed Cesare’s sunglasses down on his face and got back into the car when Cesare’s phone started ringing again.

[cerealbishh]

"Henry cares for Faran. The Liars normally have to be the ones caring for others. It just makes me melt!" - Zaria on Twitter about Henry(x)

[none-tadashi-left-hiro]

I still don’t know what my exact take on angels egg is yet but I think I like it so far mainly because of the comfort of some dude off the shits exploring the concept of hoping and waiting for something in a way that isn’t just rewarded exactly how the character wants but yet it is rewarded nonetheless like it’s not just nihilism trying to be avant garde once again it’s just like actually this is the real perhaps tragic beauty of hope and how our relationship to truth works and whatever the fuck. Or however you need to interpret it have a nice day

[sabrirene]

i fear the 'surely someone's gonna save me' in sunshine baby has an incredible chokehold on me

[acaciapines]

on today's episode of 'acaica's background thoughts for the dess raises kris au': okay but lets be serious do dess and chara actually stay together in the end--

[itsalwaysdark]

bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏

[moe-broey]

I CANNOT BE DOING THIS. THIS IS NOT WHAT I INTENDED TO DO. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA