#like we thought last time was crazy?
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Does anyone else feel like violated that Max knows about Lestappen?😭 Like he obviously knew about it in the bromance fandom context bc it’s everywhere and other drivers have used the combined names as labels for their friendship, but specifically in this context of “is lestappen real” implies the romantic use as it’s something that we wouldn’t know about or would be hidden. Does he know about the romantic ship? And if so, how much💀 Like is he aware of how much we don’t just ship them as bros but instead like, mashing face?😭 I thought I could safely outlandishly fangirl on platforms like these, far away from Max or Charles, but now I feel like I have the great eye of Max Verstappen watching over. We are not safe anymore😂 I’ve been a fan fiction enjoyer for many years and a Formula 1 fan for even longer but I was only recently introduced to the world of shipping f1 drivers and f1 rpf, esp Lestappen, a few months ago, and feel like I have been immediately exposed😭
#lestappen#what is going on guys#Im kind of scared for Las Vegas#like we thought last time was crazy?#They’re going to do something actually insane just to f with everybody#Max’s diabolical giggle told me everything
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I feel like it's kind of a mark of how soulmates hosie are that Josie's arc feels incomplete and like it has a gaping hole in it because they didn't let her and Hope finish up whatever the hell they had going on there
#Like her arc was just simply incomplete#And not only is it incomplete because Hope is missing from it#But it also somehow-#-ironically-#-literally ended while she was ditching her now ex gf to get on a bus to go help hope#holding the talisman#the last shot of josie we get is her holding the talisman#her write off was almost a love letter to hope even as the ship was being destroyed?#that's crazy#like it's just ironic that her arc failed and was missing this huge piece and then the last scene is confusing and misleading#and we THOUGHT it was going to be about hosie#I remember being so negative the whole run time of the show and the moment I finally thought hosie would happen was when I saw her holding#the talisman and going to find Hope#And then I close the episode and the article drops that Kaylee is gone forever#you guys don't even know#the confusion the sadness the heartbreak#they genuinely convinced me that hosie was happening in that LAST SECOND josie was clutching the talisman#on a bus to go help hope#and then I find out after the episode that she's going to...??? SOMEWHERE???#like it's not even made clear and makes no sense#and then it's like being shot because hosie is dead#and josie's arc was a mess#just insane times#dec 16th was insane#hosie#josie saltzman#texts#tvdu#anti tvdu#anti legacies
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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OH MY GOD A YEAR AGO TODAY .
#thats literally insane what do you mean that crazy day was last year. oh boy ok hastily thought up recap thought time#what that day included:#stupidly going out into july in los angeles heat that morning in jeans and a long sleeve black shirt#in that state of extreme sweatiness: meeting john l of tmbg fame. who id be seeing in concert that exact night#an insane story i have told before but nonetheless incredibly bonkers#later that day when i went out again i (also stupidly) wore sandals that cut up the back of my heels#i toughed it out later and put socks on and the russell brand of cdg high tops on and danced at the concert anyway#wore a full gold glitter suit. was still worried about being unnoticeable#i was too scareddddddd to talk to christi who i saw hanging around before the show which i regret#the best part of the concert and that trip to california was seeing it with my best friend who i finally met in person for that trip#he was dressed as ron and i of course was russ in the glitter suit. my hair did not turn out as magically russ as desired#what else. i was too ough before the concert to eat my combination lunch dinner of panda express something#but i did get overpriced fancy crackers and rosé at the hbowl which was my sparks dinner#ok now let me get to the show itself. i did a review the night of but lets see if there are any details i forgot that i can remember now#like right at the beginning of so may we start there was the audible sound of a glass breaking so awesome. someone was ready to get down#russell getting choked up talking abt their mom taking them to the hollywood bowl as kids i haven't stopped crying#oh yeah all the stupid people in the pool circle (front seats) who didn't care about seeing sparks. youre all going to hell#especially the people that left before the show ended#russell achieved some maximum awooga levels but i may have been picking up on those especially because of the rosé#russell saying to the audience in between singing all that how beautiful it looked with everyone turning the light on their phones#another thing i havent stopped crying over#also got a fun bootleg shirt specific to that show when walking back to the hotel. thank you slightly sketchy guy#that whole night and everything was bonkers insane and wonderful can i Please relive it now. please#like literally this time last year adjusting for time zone i was uhhhhh. probably injuring myself in those stupid sandals#and id do it again! well maybe not but id relive that day again#ok anyway. one year huh
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for months i genuinely wholeheartedly could not tell the 911 guys apart and this is so important for me to stress bc throughout my life i have prided myself on being able to tell twins apart really easily and liking being that person to connect faces to other things ive watched or honestly just seen in passing like i could track down a random commercial actress and shit and i mean i suppose part of that is not knowing their characters and they just twin all the time but i apologize still im aware that mans last name is diaz and now i feel like im sitting here laid up @ all the tumblr lesbians like haha damn so thats buck x eddie? that said idk if im like happy i know any of this.
#but it’s chill it feels like a good part of the tumblr ecosystem most of the time i’m like just there enough to be like yuppp i know that#guy. sometimes u talk abt them and im like i just don’t know if its that crazy. then u say some other stuff and i’m like ok that is lowkey#crazy but still i think even if i ever watched it. which i dont rlly plan on. but if it happened i think id have to move in silence#oh god a skunk went off right outside my window man 🙄😒😒😒😒😒😔 anywayzuh i don’t think i need to contribute to any of these conversations but#god knows i love to jump on anything to give my thoughts. so. we shallnt#abby talks#and well u know i’m sorry i think u have to know i’m on a fragile branch (my way of saying thin ice obnoxiously)#when it comes to any of these shows. let alone these circumstances. like u have to know i’m looking any going hmm… is this really just some#guy tho. bc like many such cases. it feels good to know it’s a lot of dykes but like when is the last time everyone flocked to a character#as such. i’m blanking. it certainly can’t be unprecendented.#what are u SAYING bro 🤣😎‼️😭#ok woah this is so terrible im hungry i dont want to go downstairs and make food come back up and have to go down and brush my teeth again#but i don’t think i have anything up hereeee… and either way it smells of a skunk fucking everywhereeee. i say from the place ive been#sitting the past 15 minutes. in my bed <3#i feel like i’m confessing my sins#but what i was getting at is there’s certainly something there. compels me#who said that president snow or smth
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wait hang on
HANG ON
DO YOU SEE MY VISION
#professor inkling#count bleck#TELL ME YOU SEE IT. IM NOT CRAZY#*writes yet another octonauts crossover au-*#OK BUT LISTEN HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT#H E A R ME O U T#in case you're wondering if it's just the monocles NO IT RUNS DEEPER THAN THAT I PROMISE#1. both have been around a long time and founded some sort of group to further their goals (octonauts & team bleck)#2. fancy clothes (yeah inkling's in just a bowtie but remember he's straight up an octopus) that stand out among their peers#3. speaking of that last point: unusual anatomy (one does NOT look a fish and the other is a head torso and floating hands. nothin else)#4. i kinda don't wanna have to pull the mafia au card on this one but if I WAS then: tragic backstories and tragic motives#though then again do we REALLY know anything about inkling- like do we R E A L L Y?? his backstory could be tragic they just aint tellin..#5. avid book readers (bleck let a book tell him how his life was supposed to go this man is clinically into books)#6. defense mechanism that involves darkness (octopus ink & a bLaCk HOLE-)#7. if you see either of them walking it Don't Look Right#8. this is more of an implied thing for them but: knows a LOT about the people they gathered for their causes#9. both from children's media that gets DARK sometimes without warning#10. sometimes they say things and the people around them are just ''what''#11. love interests (ones outright saying it and the other is again just implied but STILL ITS ANOTHER POINT SOOO)#12. ok fine. yes it was the monocles at first but then i thought about it MORE so HA#feel free to add on if i missed something
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need to be exploding something but i Can't for some reason. just Can Not. my ability to do is just. Nay
#just me hi#GOUHHH#okay so I can't go back to bed rn cuz I was So tired earlier I went to bed at 7#Bad move !! But I also didn't have anything to do so kind of the only one lmao#So I slept for 4 hours and here I am now. At 2 am. Vibing [<- this is untrue]#I have Energy that I Need to dedicate to SOMETHING but I can't figure out what so I'm just vibrating really aggressively and pacing kfvshf#I could funkin writeeeee but I don't know what and i don't think I'll be able to focus so lmaoo 💥#// 💥🎶NONSTOP AUTOMATIC LIVIN IN DELUSION🎶💥#anywho loll--#//i could draw but that's Slow and Caramalizing work. Like when I want to evenly toast my thoughts you know what I'm saying kfshf#Or when I'm just trying to be Thourough. Or just rotating shiz so fast I gotta slow down lol#And then if I draw what should it be? The things in my brain ??? God forbid#What I'm just sposed to pick between the 3+ projects I have blasting at full volume in my head rn ?? That's crazy talk man#//mnm i want. a Snack#Snack tiymeeee#If only we had those kfshvfh#Ik where to get marshmallows (thought they could hide them from me. Impossible) but that's not a good choice for the hour or the craving lo#//what's the point !!! What's the pooooint !!! 🎶#i love you music hfvsh#/speaking of i took my mp3 player w/ me to skate w/ and played oldies and you know that was pretty good man I gotta do that again#Meant to do it last time but I didn't charge her :( and I don't want to stress her battery by killing her so </3#//oh also we went to the movies today !! Part of the reason I'm tired lmao#I always forget to bring smth to plug my ears (it's so funkin loudddd man oTL) but you know what I Didn't forget? Mp3 player w/ the noise#Canceling earbuds. Which worked insanely well I had Zero discomfort :D#Usually the theater experience starts to suck hard at abt the 2/3rds point cuz everything gets loud ;w;#but i forgot abt the sound thing w/ my buds in so :D yay yippee !!#We watched gladiator 2 :) watched the first one the night before so full context let's go 💥#It was good! I think anyway! I'm not sure i was completely clocked in kfshfh#//ooou I'm running out of tag space..#I'll say ciao right here loll :> toodles !!
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talking to new people again is making me realize that (this is gonna sound dramatic) i haven't lived in five years but what i have done is watch a lot of movies and read a bunch of books and believe it or not that actually makes me an interesting conversationalist in some ways (?)
#and like i say: brf slt#they don't know i'm crazy and as long as you're normal about it having seen a lot of movies just makes you come off as someone who's like#interested in culture i guess. which i am. but it's fun#and the books thing too and also knowing a lot about sociology#i have things to say jokes to make so in two months they haven't even realized i haven't lived a life yet🙏#i didn't even do it on purpose the way it happened is in 2019 i was very depressed suicidal etc then i got better but i was focused on#like...idk. basically getting used to being okay with being alive again? then it was 2020 and we didn't have classes in person full time#until september 2021. that's how it was for university students here. i did hang out with people but no one i LOVED or actually became#close with and it's true that i could have tried harder but i didn't because guys i love being by myself😭😭😭#then three years went by and now we're here. it's fine it's just that i don't have a lot of anecdotes that aren't old because LITERALLY#nothing has happened to me. nothing#that's not true i did talk about something semi-recent to my bff on friday it was about my 'friends' who hated on everyone the same way i#did when i was literally 12 and about how anxiety inducing it was because after a while i was like is this how they talk about me when i'm#not around🤨 i actually talked about that then. january or february 2023#this has been in my drafts for a week and i talked about the post i talk about in that last tag last week when i talked about my mutual who#blocked me that's the post she replied to to give me advice😔#also it's funny i said they don't know i'm crazy and a guy asked me what my favorite tv shows were and i don't know why i actually gave him#my full list like it's funny because like i said they think i like like good movies and good television and interesting books and stuff#and i know the shows i told him made him reassess that (which is fine but it's just funny) and also i told him i'm watching gilmore girls#for the 18th time and he was like you're joking i was like hm...and then he was like no you're being serious because it's way too#precise...and THAT i could have not told him. i was like whyyy did i tell him that...but it's fine#HE HADN'T EVEN HEARD OF SUCCESSION? 34-year-olds...#i mentioned the sopranos a couple weeks ago and my future bff was like what is that and i was like ? then i asked two more people and they#didn't know the show either so i was like i'll ask him (34-year-old) i know he'll know the sopranos and he was like OBVIOUSLY i know#the sopranos it's supposed to be one of the best shows of all time and later i asked if he had seen succession and he'd never even heard of#it? crazy. i mean if it had been anyone else i wouldn't have thought it was crazy but i expected HIM to know succession
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bad when i am so well known for sharing opinions in a class that when no one was sharing any thoughts when my professor was trying to ask questions she was like michelle what do u think 😭 like i can tell she was like i am sure she has smth locked and loaded i did not in fact have any thoughts at that particular moment but i threw smth together my mind. but point being perhaps i have shared too much…..
#michelle speaks#normally she just calls on ppl bc they don’t participate i know she wasn’t doing that w me bc i talked like 4 times last class#and i usually raise my hand at least once a class bc i have a thought on smth at least#so i am like 99% sure she just did that bc she figured i would have smth to say 😭😭😭#which like fair enough i normally do have opinions on everything all the time. but it was like 10am i need until 10:30am at LEAST unless we#r getting into a topic i am VERY opinionated on. then i will force myself awake……#i really went insane last class lol. my friend was like u basically taught the class at the end of that one 😭#bc i am the ONLY!!!! one willing to idk present a different opinion. crazy i know.
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i genuinely have not stopped thinking about the very real dream i had last night lol
#it felt SO real and it’s really wigging me out#so my ex was mh childhood bestfriend and we grew up together and were high school sweethearts blah blah blah#haven’t seen or spoken to each other in almost 7 years#he ended up getting married and they had a baby last year#so in my dream I ran into him at the airport and he had his daughter but his daughter was 4 years old in the dream#and he introduced me to her/her to me and we ended up hanging out as we waited for our flights#and it was just sooooooo#I don’t even know what the right word to use here is that doesn’t make me sound crazy lol#it felt like we had been friends all this time hahahahah anyway#but it just felt so comforting and like home ????? idk if that makes sense but obviously we knew each other so well back then#and I feel a lil emosh about it all bc I haven’t thought about him in YEARS and like he’s married and I would never go there#but now I feel like I have this huge gaping hole in my chest where I kiss the intimacy of someone knowing me and loving me so well????? LOL#and like I’m not looking for a relationship but I’m not opposed to it at all either so maybe I need to just start taking my love#life a little more seriously yk???#anyway#I’m having a crisis but it’s FINE I’ll live
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ughhh. ive got to get a girlfriend so i stop thinking about guys its so so bad
#one guy specifically 🤔 whats his fucking problem i hope he dies i hope his girlfriend leaves and gets a better boyfriend so i can settle#sorry insane thought ummm#would he treat me better or is that exactly what the last two girls he was with thought#I LITERALLYYY HAVENT HAD A CRUSH ON HIM SINCE WE WERE 12 IDK WHATS GOING ON#‘’i can fix him’’ girl hes got a construction crew working full time#okay but liiiike. okay. i literally know him better than anyone else its intuitive. UGH i could do it i could seriously do it i swear#sorry for being crazy ummm were probably going to hang out this week and i hope to god he isnt weird again#sighhhh. i truly think he might treat me better though! were each others oldest friends so its like. idk#whyyyy am i considering this i should know better but idk! truly do not know where im going with this#kill this guy for me chat
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going back to clean up and revise old original story things from years ago is, aside from being very satisfying sometimes, also quite funny because of the great amount of things you forget over the years:
omg i completely forgot this character was supposed to be a raging capitalist. actually let's keep that for the update it'll make things even funnier
GIRL THE PLOT HOLE. ITS KINDA SUBTLE BUT ITS STILL A PLOT HOLE HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE IT. someone didn't do enough research clearly.
WHY did i make a vsynth your voice claim. we can't do that anymore because now i only ever associate that voice w/ the vsynth character and its gonna fuck me up. HATSUNE MIKU???
brother eughhh that color combination...
😔 wow you were really going through it back then girlie. noticing a common theme here
man your design/concept is cool as hell but we did nothing with you... we gotta either fix that or we're sending you to the chopping block to be recycled and/or appreciated by someone else sorry mate (alternatively: get sent to the purgatory folder by my sentimental ass [not to be confused with purgatory the actual story location])
YOU'RE A SOUNDCLOUD RAPPER?????
let's get you a happy ending man :( i think you deserve it. sorry my preteen self didnt see the vision but now i sure do
respectfully why tf did i name you that. cmon we can do better than that. PLUS we can attach better meaning to the name this time
... i know what you are. babygirl we can fit so many fucking references in here like YES WE GET IT YOU LIKE [MEDIA] and it adds to the funny/tragedy sometimes but. nerd (/aff).
now that we're here in the Future having experienced certain things... yeah that was eerily accurate. man 😔 but hey now with firsthand experience we can write it EVEN BETTER/ANGSTIER NOW
i'm so sorry we killed you off for no reason. now we gotta kill you FOR a reason and it's gotta be a better one. yeah sorry you don't get to live we need someone to haunt the narrative we're understaffed
what's up w/ all this royalty-free music
"i'll remember this later" no you won't 😭 wtf are you referring to girl. WHY DID YOU NOT SAVE BETTER COPIES OF THESE NOTES GIRL 😭😭😭 WHAT ARE YOU REFERENCING HERE I'M MISSING FOOTNOTES WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. WHAT WAS THIS THIS LINK IS DEAD BESTIE.
the great vanishing of 2033. i completely forgot i made this a thing, it was basically an event where in the year 2033 all of humanity just randomly vanished from earth. yes literally just that, it was never explained what caused it or where they all went or anything it just happened. it was a good segway into other things but... holy fuck girl
#oc liveblogging#i'm supposed to be working rn but GRAHHHH NOBODY FUCKING ANSWERS MY WORK MESSAGES IM GHSNDNNNNN#when im not working i need to be studying. but ughh fuck i got oc sickness in the brain im thinking sm abt my made up little people#to stay sane. i wanna DRAWWW i wanna DO THINGSSS BUT I DONT HAVE TIME. BUT I ALSO CANT LOCK IN BC IM THINKING TOO MUCH AUGH#also just quick note the great vanishing of 2033 was something i came up with in 2023 i believe.#HOW CAN I REMEMBER SOME OF THE OTHER SHIT I CAME UP W/ 7-8 YEARS AGO BUT NOT SOMETHING FROM LAST YEAR? BRUH?#apparently younger me was really good at fridge horror unintentionally. man. a lot of this is really horrifying when u really think abt it#some of it over the top edgy yeah BUT we can make it better now. and scarier in a sense of not just gratuitous gore/violence#but like lets get. idk. psychological horror? emotional. lets get fucking MELANCHOLY up in this bitch. BITTERSWEET BABYYYY#ughghshgkg ik nobody rly cares abt this but i post for me so idc. read my crazy unhinged ramblings user.#RELEASE MEEEE the thoughts. ouhgshhhnskjd. explodes and dies
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i did something incredible today. i was terse with my flakey cousin over the phone before fully understanding why i was angry with her. i acted on it BEFORE completely processing it. and i withheld information to put her at a disadvantage and benefit myself! i am so proud of myself, this never happens.
#she gave away all her scuppernongs to someone she barely likes then wanted 40% of mine that she wasn't even involved in picking#and showed up last minute so i gave her two quarts#then today i lied and said i had already processed them all into juice for jelly because i thought we were going there today. which i did#but i'm pretty sure the whole time this whole week she's known she was never going back#so she thought i would go do one last pick for the both of us on a day when i was already exhausted and then it'd be over#let me do her dirty work as a favour 'to me'#>:^) that's what she thought#because i am guileless patient sharing and kind#but i am also capable of withholding the truth for my own gain >:^))))#so now i've given away 2 quarts to her and probably 2qts to my grandmother#and now i can put up 5qts of juice for jelly#mwa ha mwaha mwahaha ha ha hahaahaaaa#she's also wanting more persimmons from me but in all honesty. grandma gave her a gallon of the ones from asia. & mine aren't shelf stable.#if she really wants some then she'll have to do the legwork to get them. i'm not making a home delivery#i don't know where she gets off thinking i'm gonna give her a sizeable portion of everything when i can't rely on her for anything#because it is crazy now that i think about it.#i'm doing all these favours for her and she's driving me crazy + doing me no favours + probably gonna let me down on my bday#AND I'M PISSED. :D i am correctly identifying and acting on this emotion of being PISSED OFF. :DDD so happy#adam yaps
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Enjoying my job immensely! I work at the joanns fabric near me, which turns out to be part of a main packaging/shipping hub, and it's huge!!!! I've been ringing up art supplies and cutting fabric all in the past few weeks!!!! It's really helping me be in a creative mood like all the time. I made an art account (nothing posted) and I think the hardest part for me is just "starting" again and I get wrapped up in making the first post "special" in some way when it shouldn't have to be. Sorry for taking so long to figure things out and for shutting ppl out, I'm changing for the better, and I'm making an effort to communicate more, I promise!
#also im re-obsessed with trolls again AAAAAA that new movie was crazy and ive watched it like 20 times this year i cant get enough!!!#bingewatching the cartoon series w my sister and the vibes are LITERALLY all hail king ju/lien -esque its great!!!#/// also on a serious note i had an important discussion with my therapist last week and i promised her and myself#that i would genuinely stop putting everything off#a couple yrs ago when the (uknowwho) stuff was going on i srsly thought about deactivating and starting new and not telling anyone and im#glad i didnt do it. and i still feel shitty that i thought about doing that. im glad i kept following ppl that i care about even if#we dont talk anymore🫂🫂🫂#im getting help and im getting better!!#talkshow
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🎤 🎤 🎤
a song that i associate with my muse meme!
AHH, hey, ramone!! thank you for sending in this prompt :D since you sent in three of the mic's, i shall now be treating you to three songs that make me think of blamore when i hear them / that i associate with it. an explanation of why i chose them will be in the tags <3
hozier - who we are.
youtube
icehouse - crazy.
youtube
depeche mode - personal jesus.
youtube
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#asks - answered.#ooc post.#okay but ESPECIALLY heavy on the last one because it literally all about the idea of someone that people can turn to in hard times-#like a god or a prophet who will listen to your plights and help you + who you should believe in. and i say this because one major theme-#to blamore's character is the concept of being a false prophet and someone who essentially unfortunately takes advantage of people's-#longing for things to get better in gotham. bc i feel like a lot of people there have either been failed by the system by other's or-#possibly both and this is so that blamore can get people to voluntarily want to consume the 'seeds' it distributes in order to uhh...#well purge gotham of its undesirables basically as terrible as that sounds. but yeah that depeche mode song? it's such a good one for-#him and definitely has helped me before to write things related to him since blamore does sometimes believe in its own hubris.#but as for the second one by icehouse that one i associate with it because although it doesn't exactly consider itself to fully identify-#with the label of being a 'man' i feel as if blamore will still talk about itself that way sometimes. its relationship with its gender-#is honestly a little bit complicated NGL because him using it/its pronouns as well is something blamore adopted recently even-#though he'd always sort of felt like disconnected and/or like it didn't really align with how he saw himself completely. BUT yeahhh#i honestly could start a whole discussion about that but i shall do that another time perhaps ahah. anyhow though besides that-#elephant in the room ever since it has transformed into this half-human half-plant monster being... although it does love any partners-#it has very much (trust me) i feel like it does wonder why they chose to be with him more often than he'd like to admit.#so that's where the whole 'crazy' part comes in and as for the hozier song that song is about how you kind of have to carve through-#this 'darkness' to rediscover ourselves and who we want to be as a result of going through a rough time or just something tough in-#general and that is SO freaking fitting in my opinion for blamore because it definitely had to completely reframe the way it thought-#about itself when it transformed. and he also had to figure out what he believed in / what his values were now which can be suchhh-#a messy process TBH but this isn't the first time that blamore's had to rediscover itself as life is honestly kind of this ongoing-#process of losing yourself and trying to find yourself again you know? but yeah. i hope you enjoyed my explanation here tehe <3#and also that you enjoy the tunes!!
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