#like we really made an entire movie out of hearsay

[thebisexual-disaster]

Ok um...why is the greatest mafia movie of all time goncharov trending?

[msvorderofoperations]

More dream journaling

I was living with my family again, but we were in the midst of packing everything to move. We were moving because the home we currently were in was haunted...I think. Details were vague at this point, and there were definitely other factors in play. Once everything was packed away, we were deciding what to do to kill some time because the move was happening the next day. The idea of seeing a movie is floated, and we happen to be right next to a theatre.

We go to see a movie (I think it was TMNT: Mutant Mayhem, of all things) and as we're filing into the theatre, I see a content creator whose work I used to follow (The Spoony One, if you're familiar). And it also just so happens that a group meetup for the Rooster Teeth community is happening at the same time. After the movie is over, I get recognized by someone who is documenting the whole event. They then pivot the narrative to talk about my contributions to the community, which were not numerous but were very significant. I had fundamentally changed the meta of several of the games that the community played and/or created. I created a style of sign off in a community content driven show that a lot of people ended up using. I made a bunch of animations using assets provided by Rooster Teeth and other members of their forums that a lot of people found inspirational. It is worth noting at this point that none of the things I was being cited as influencing actually exist, but it carried a very powerful feeling of being real.

And after all of this deeply moving and happy reminiscing, I then run into a former friend that I cut off some years ago. He has changed very much as a person, but along the lines of why I had to distance myself from him. He is deeply bitter about the fact that I stopped being in touch with him, and has made hating me a big part of his identity and he has a whole group of people with him dedicated to the same. He doesn't even ask why I stopped hanging out with him, but just assumes that everything was done out of malice. But as he does in real life, everything he says and does is passive. Snide remarks and heckling are all he can muster.

Not wanting to put an end to the "this is your life" style presentation the Rooster Teeth documentarion has put together, it continues despite my former friends interruptions. It then moves to the times long before I joined the RT forums, where I had done things like enter robot fighting tournaments, been tech support for a lot of people, and built my own computers and laptops, all while being in elementary school. It even goes into how I railed against and maliciously complied with disciplinary efforts made by the schools I was in at the time that were downright dystopian. All of these things were done with style and panache that I absolutely did not have as an early child, much less as an adult in real life. As none of the people who will read this will know, I did not do any of the things being showcased in this dream, apart from cutting off my friend. I don't doubt there are a few people who miss my presence on the Rooster Teeth site, but I was first and foremost a lurker, and only posted very occasionally. And it was never anything as ornate and involved as the things being remembered here. All the same, I was deeply awash in nostalgia for the early internet, and this is something that has happened a couple of times in my recent dreams.

Once the whole remembrance had wrapped, I was asked to join in on the rest of the day's events. As I did, slipping back into old behaviours felt as natural as breathing and as comfortable as a pair of perfectly sized gloves. The entire time I felt so at home and complete that I began to wonder why I had ever left. In reality, I stopped being part of the community because the staff (in ways I was never able to confirm or really even investigate beyond hearsay and second-hand accounts) had mistreated a number of my friends. I will not go into details as I don't actually know for certain that these things happened, and this was many years ago at this point.

All while this is happening, my former friend is standing at the sidelines and endlessly shittalking. At this point I take him aside and go over why I stopped being around him (he was entirely passive about everything in his life and would never take any actions to improve or change his situation and I couldn't be around someone like that even in my 20s), and why I think he needs to move on from me to start growing as a person. He finally relents and leaves to do some reevaluation of his life.

The idea that having this single conversation and fully changing someone's life is egotistical to the point of narcissism, but I won't deny that the idea of getting closure on this whole thing felt very satisfying. And around this time, I woke up.

[365days365movies]

Historical July IV: Pompeii (2014) - Part I

...Really? This guy made a historical epic?

The Mortal Kombat director? The Monster Hunter director? The director of the first six Resident Evil films? Yeah, THOSE. The director of Death Race 2000? He made a history movie? And it was about one of the greatest natural disasters ever recorded? Oh boy, I cannot WAIT to see how this goes. OK, so what exactly is the big deal about Pompeii. To understand that...take a jump to the left.

There’s a reason that so many of these films are centered around the Roman Empire; it was kind of a big fuckin’ deal. And by the time we get to 79 AD...a lot of shit had happened. Jesus Christ was executed around 30 or 33 AD, and his new followers, called Christians, were not exactly permitted in Rome. A dude named Paul the Apostle goes on missionary journeys to spread Christianity. Even writes a few chapters in a book about the guy, which he adds onto the Jewish scripture as a sort of New Testament. Not that any of that’s gonna go anywhere, but good on him for the initiative.

On the throne, Tiberius has died, only to be replaced by his nephew, Caligula. And Caligula...was kind of a lot.

It’s not entirely known how many of the stories about him are true, but some of them are...controversially sexual. Dude was said to be a sexual sadist who through lavish expositions of debauchery, and some sources list him as being insane. But again, some of that is hearsay. We do know that he improved Roman infrastructure, and that he increased the power of the emperor for succeeding generations. And possibly quite harshly. In any case, in 41 AD, a few senators got pissed off enough by him, and pulled a Cassius/Brutus/Gretchen Weiner and assassinated the SHIT out of him.

Meanwhile, surprise! Things aren’t going great for the Jews. Yeah, history has NOT been kind to them, and around 41 AD, the new emperor of Rome, Claudius, decides to give them the boot and expels them from Rome...for the third time. Yeah, like I said, not a good history for them. To be fair, some of this is hearsay, but there’s no real reason to doubt its veracity. As they were forced out, Claudius focused his interests on Britain, and began to conquer the territories of the Celts. He dies in 54 BC, and is succeeded by...

Oh, shit. This is Nero, the last of the first line of Roman emperors, and one of the worst that they’d ever seen. On the bright side, dude was huge into the cultural life of the Empire, as well as diplomacy and trade. He was an actor, a poet, and a charioteer. On the downside...dude was an absolute asshole. Allegedly. Yeah, it’s hearsay time again. He was insanely popular with Rome’s public, but so many historians list him as an awful tyrant. The most well-known of these tyrannical acts involved the Christians, who were building in size as a group in Rome. Which was, unsurprisingly, not liked by the Senate.

In Brittania, Nero’s armies led a successful conquest of the territory, resulting in the death of the Celt Queen Boudicca in 61. And that is...another story for another day. A good one, though. But all of that took a side to one of the biggest tragedies Rome had ever seen: the Great Fire of 64 AD. It raged for nine days, and destroyed 2/3 of Rome. Which is...a lot. Nero allegedly blamed the Christians, but conspiracies mounted that he had ordered the fire to make room for construction of a palatial complex. But that is, well...hearsay. That hearsay began persecutions of the Christians in Rome, leading to that whole “feed them to the lions” thing, eventually. Meanwhile, in a small colony in Campania, near to the city of Naples..

A massive earthquake hits in 62 AD, destroying much of a tourist town called Pompeii. Nothing else bad will happen to them. They’re rebuilding while Rome is doing the same, and Nero even visits the city in 64 AD, as well as performs in their famous theatre. See, Pompeii was basically a cultural town, and their theater and amphitheater were famous. They would rebuild pretty steadily over the next decade or so, with what funding they could get from Rome or the private sector.

In 68, Nero commits suicide (sort of) after being condemned by the Senate (who hated him, of course) as a public enemy. So ends the first Dynasty. So, uh...who’s the new emperor? Since there’s no declared heir, it’s time to figure out who’s gonna rule. And since it’s Rome...WAR TIIIIIIIIIIME!

Yup. The Year of the Four Emperors kicks off in 68 AD. First, Galba takes over, and fucks over EVERYBODY, including the military and the elite unit, the Praetorian Guard. Said guard kills the shit out of him. The same day, Otho is declared emperor, and he’s gonna be...oh, wait, I’ve received word that the legions in Germania support Vitellus as Emperor, and they’re a fucking really good army! Surely word of this will not aaaaaaand Otho has committed suicide, GREAT. 

Looks like Vitellus is emperor! Parades! Banquets! Expensive food that immediately creates debt! Looks like we need money, so let’s make people call Vitellus the rightful heir to their goods and fortune, and then KILL THE SHIT OUT OF ‘EM! That’s not gonna bite us squarely in the rotund ass at all! At least we have the entire army on our side, right? What? Fuckin’ Vespasian commands the African and Judean legions, and they’re declaring him emperor? And they’re marching on Vitellus right now, as he’s desperately trying to bribe his way out of this? Well, maybe it’ll aaaaaaand dead. With that, the year is over, and Vespasian is now Emperor of Rome for the next 10 years. God.

So, Vespasian is now the Emperor, and the next few years aren’t abysmal for Rome. They expand in Britain, he reforms the financial system, and he builds the Colosseum. Dude brings Rome back to stability, beginning the Flavian Dynasty, then dies in 79 AD. His son, Titus Vespasianus, ascends in 79 AD. Dude was a legendary general, crushing the first major Jewish rebellion in 69 (geez, guys, sorry history’s been absolute garbage to you), and then taking and destroying Jerusalem. He completed the Colosseum as well, as would be known as a good ruler in the end. But rulers are only judged by their response to adversity. And adversity...thy name is Vesuvius.

August 25, 75 AD. After bubbling and brewing for a long time, the volcano known as Mount Vesuvius blows its top, and molten rock and ash explode from that top violently. We’re talking a force 100,000 times more powerful than fucking Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Yeah. Holy fucking shit. The eruption was large enough to cover miles of land in pyroclastic flows, flash burning and killing every living thing in its path. These flows buried the settlement of Pompeii. And. Herculaneum. And Oplontis. Oh, and Stabiae. YEAH. FOUR FUCKING TOWNS.

Did you know that shit, because I DIDN’T. The reason we know Pompeii so well is because it was actually most fully recovered. So was Herculaneum, but Herculaneum was much smaller, and didn’t have the whole body imprint thing attached to it. But it’s still a worthy site that deserves to be talked about more. Will this movie do so?

Of course it won’t. Come on.

I want to talk about Pompeii and Vesuvius...but later, LATER! Let’s get into this literal garbage fire of a film, shall we? Can’t wait to see what film mountebank Paul W.S. Anderson has done with this epic historical event. Whoof. If you want to learn more about the day itself, watch @wearewatcher​ Puppet History’s account of it. More entertaining than I am, I guarantee it.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

Interestingly, we start with the words of Pliny the Younger, who wrote a famous account of the events of the fateful day. I’ll mention him and his famous uncle more next time, I think. They are, and I quote:

We had scarcely sat down to rest when darkness fell, not the dark of a moonless or cloudy night, but as if the lamp had been put out in a clsoed room. You could hear the shrieks of women, the wailing of infants, and the shouting of men; some were calling their parents, others their children or their wives, trying to recognize them by their voices. People bewailed their own fate or that of their relatives, and there were some who prayed for death in their terror of dying. Many besought the aid of the gods, but still more imagined there were no gods left, and that the universe was plunged into eternal darkness for evermore.

Um...wow. Damn. Holy shit, that’s fucking terrifying. I mean, I already knew this, but retyping it now...FUCK. And also, the movie misquotes this. Technically, it’s a different translation and some paraphrasing, but it’s not the exact quote. But OK, the movie opens with that butchered quote over the famous petrified bodies of Pompeii. And I’ll hand it to them, it’s pretty impressive looking.

And then, we cut to Brttania in 62 AD. Huh. OK? Far as I know, the battle pictured of the northern Celtic horsemen never actually happened, but it’s not outside the realm of possibility. After all, famous Celt queen Boudicca had just died the year before, attempting to fight against the Roman Empire. So, yeah, this isn’t crazy. The Celts are slain by Romans, led by the general Quintus Attius Corvus (Keifer Sutherland), and their bodies are piled up, while others are...hung from a tree, which doesn’t seem like a Roman thing to do. I guess it’s technically gibbetting, but I thought the Celts did that to the Romans, not the other way around!

But OK, let’s not split hairs. I’ll be here all day if I do. A child escapes from the massacre, and flees into the woods. His mother was killed in front of him by Corvus, and his father was ne of the guys in the tree. Eventually, he’s caught by slave traders, and...Conan the Barbarian, is that you?

Yeah, this is just the story of Conan the Barbarian! What’re you gonna do, strap him to a wheel for seventeen years?

So, 17 years pass...and we cut to Londinium. In a gladiator pit with terrible lighting, we meet a manager of gladiators, Graecus (Joe Pingue), who’s being all Roman and shit. You know, being fat, eating grapes, so on and so forth. He’s all annoyed at being brought out here in the poorly lit rain to watch a gladiator fight, especially because the gladiators kinda suck. And that’s when...the Celt comes in.

Oh my God, I already hate this fucking movie. It’s just so...stereotypically late-2000s. It’s like Paul W.S. Anderson went to Frank Miller, whom I picture as living in that fetish house from 300, and said to him, “Teach me your unsubtly homoerotic ways!” And then Frank Miller talked about women and Muslim people in a misogynistic and racist way for, like, three hours, until eventually just lending Anderson a copy of 300. 

Anyway, yeah, this is Milo (Kit Harrington), AKA the Celt. He’s just the best gladiator that ever gladiated, and they decide to take him out of there to see how well he does in more professional circles. He’s put on a procession to Pompeii, and meets a woman in-they’re gonna fuck.

Look...they’re gonna be the main couple of the film. Duh. FUCKING DUH. THIS IS JUST PEARL HARBOR IN ANCIENT ROME. Anyway, this Inevitable Love Interest is Cassia (Emily Browning), attended to by her assistant, Ariadne (Jessica Lucas). Their horse was injured on the way to Pompeii, but Milo offers to help it. And he does so by...breaking the horse’s neck.

And I get it, he’s putting it out of its mercy, that’s entirely fine in this circumstance, but...he breaks it as easily as I blow my fucking nose! Like...like picking up a child’s napkin from a fucking table at a birthday party, IT WOULD NOT BE THAT FUCKING EASY! So...yeah, that’s incredibly stupid, and the tone is set for this movie. And of course, Cassia comes away from it like, “Ooh, that silent horse-killing gladiator slave man is, like SUPER-FUCKING-HOT, amirite?” God, this is gonna piss me off.

Cassia, it turns out, is from Pompeii, and her father Severus (Jared Harris) is the city governor, while her mother, Aurelia (Carrie-Anne Moss)...has the worst British accent I’ve ever heard, holy SHIT, Carrie-Anne. I liked you in The Matrix, and I fucking LOVED you in the first season of Jessica Jones, but GODDAMN are you absolutely terrible in this movie so far. But yeah, Cassia’s the rich girl who’s life is perfect and has horses and yaaaaaaaay

Meanwhile, Milo’s dealing with administrative issues, as his fellow gladiators start a fight in the cafeteria. This catches the interest of fellow gladiator Atticus (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), the black best friend of the movie, probably. Which is also very Gladiator, now that I think about it. Have I mentioned that I fucking really hate this movie so far?

Anyway, one of Cassia’s servants (who is black, because this movie is very awkward in a lot of ways) takes out her horse for a run that night, only for him to die by upcoming plot device. The next morning, Milo meets Atticus, says that he’ll have to kill him one day, gets saved from death by one of the assholes from the cafeteria, then says that he won’t kill Atticus, and I hate this movie.

Meanwhile, Corvus arrives in town, BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DOES, and I now have to wonder...was Pompeii anywhere near this major of a town to warrant this much fucking attention? Well, after looking into it...I mean, kinda. Naples isn’t too far away, so I feel like that would’ve gotten more attention. But anyway, Corvus is invited into the home of Severus to discuss their grand plans for Pompeii, whatever those’ll be.

Cassia’s not extraordinarily happy about that, because she dislikes the corrupt new emperor, Titus Vespasian, who...who is one of the most generous and greatest emperors that Rome ever had...period. I...but...we...WHY? WHY ARE WE PAINTING THIS GUY AS AN ASSHOLE, THEN? Just to paint Cassia as a morally-perfect being whom all the edge Celtic gladiators can fall in love with I FUCKING HATETHISSTUPIDSHIT

...OK, maybe I’m overexaggerating here. Fresh eyes, fresh mind, let’s get back into it. After Cassia’s horse returns without his keeper, we switch back to the prison, where said edgy Celt is being all edgy about the whole gladiator thing again. Meanwhile, Atticus is the wide-eyed optimist, believing that he will be freed once he defeats Milo and wins the day. Also, he has a really bad-looking scar. Like, picture a scar with stitches. The most stereotypical scar you’ve ever seen. Yeah. That’s on Atticus’ cheek.

The gladiators are marched into the palace, because this film doesn’t really understand the difference between normal gladiators and normal slaves in terms of treatment. But it’s there that he sees one of the guys present at the destruction of his village, because of course he does. We also learn that the gladiators are treated not only as slaves, but as prostitutes...which DID NOT fucking happen. There is NO PROOF that this happened, and I feel like that would be a risk that managers wouldn’t want to take for various reasons.

Cassia might be wishing that was the case, though, because she catches Milo’s eye at the party. But she’s soon led away to be introduced to Corvus, who she already apparently...oh, goddamnit. It’s also this story? Corvus is gonna wanna fuck her, huh? I just...this movie is a living, breathing stereotype of a film.

But just then, Cassia’s horse starts freaking out SO FUCKING HARD that she excuses herself from Corvus’ advances. And yeah, he does wanna marry her, and has wanted to since she met him in Rome and said no. Anyway, she gets the best horse killer she knows, Milo, and has him tame her horse’s wild nature. And despite having no proof that this’ll work (or that he won’t kill this horse just like the other one, which would be hilarious), it does indeed work.

Cassia goes in, and they share their mutual hatred of Rome together. They also get on the horse together, and burst out of the stable to ride off into the sunset. I...just...this would not only have SO MANY TERRIBLE RAMIFICATIONS, but would also be insanely unlikely due to class structure at the time. This is just...so dumb.

OK, so let’s fast-forward this bullshit, huh? They get caught, Cassia asks Corvus to spare his life, and he agrees to do so if she agrees to fuuuuuuuuck’im, and she does. Corvus makes sure he’s whipped, and then arranges it so that Milo fights first the next day, and ideally dies first. Back in her quarters, Cassia pines for Milo, and back in his quarters, Milo gets wine dumped on his back to heal his terrible looking whip-wounds. 

And as Milo and Atticus share their hatred for the Romans, the earth shakes beneath their feet, which Atticus states is a sign from the gods. And given what’s about to happen...yeah, could be. The next day, the quakes continue as the arrangements are make for Milo to die, hopefully.

God. I need a break. 

Imma rewatch that Puppet History video really quick. See you in Part II, I guess.

[captnjacksparrow]

Okay so I know you hate the last, but could you please give us a review? I was like why is Hinata knitting a scarf on a fucking mission? Like??? Is that all she can do, make tea and knit fucking scarfs? Oh and steal Sasuke's chakra colour, his facial features, and chakra compatibility with Naruto? Oh and have no personality?

Or the genjutsu thing, or the clone jutsu, which don't make any sense? Or the dumb fucking storyline? Or Naruto's character assassination?

Like are you telling me that Naruto here, who is inept enough to mistake romantic love for his love for ramen, should he be making marriage plans with anyone when he is hardly more than a child himself?

And that thing where he says he couldn't write anyone's name???? Really Naruto, you couldn't think of anyone??? What even is this plot??

Like who the fuck thought this is a good story? This shit is what we get after Shippuden??? How much was Kishi involved? I don't think he gave it more than a passing glance. Or he would have caught the obvious glaring mistakes.

I am still mad at that film, and will be mad at it forever. They butchered my boy. 😭 Oh and there's hardly any Sasuke in it, because if they had shown Sasuke, Naruto would have left Hinata's side in a heartbeat. Also, Sasuke's design����.

Sorry, rant over. Now, you go. :)

Sorry to throw a bucket of cold water to your ask, Anon!!!

I have never watched that movie!!!! Nor do I have any intention to. One of my friend went under the pain of watching it and she almost got pissed off for many days after watching it. I just know the story from hearsay and it was definitely vomit inducing.

Because just like you said, they made Naruto into an Asshole which he never was.

He made mini- shadow clones at the age of 6.... And I was like, "What the fuck?".... He was not even capable of making a perfect clone until age 12, let alone Kage Bunshins...

A Jinchuriki cannot be put under Genjutsu and yet he was put under one and was guilt tripped into falling in love with the first 30 mins of the movie.

Just hearing this two scenes which completely contradicts the Canon material shows how shitty the movie is...

As far as I know he wasn't involved in the The Last movie much. Not as much as he did for the Road to the Ninja movie (RTN) . For RTN, he exclusively drew Menma and a one shot manga of 32 pages.

This is what Kishimoto says about the Last movie.

“でも別に二人の恋愛話に僕はあまり思い入れがなくて（笑）、その話を描くつもりはなかったんです。” - Kishimoto

“But I didn’t really have any devotion about the love story of the two-Naruto and Hinata (laughs)-. I didn’t plan to write this story.” - Kishimoto

Also:

“So the idea of a [NH] love story wasn’t my idea at the start, however Pierrot staff suggested the movie to revolve around it (hence the final product being the way it is).” - Kishimoto

[[I took this out from another post]]

The only movie Kishimoto was completely involved by taking over writing the entire screenplay and considers the "Pinnacle of my Career" is Boruto - The Naruto movie.

That's why that movie was good and consistent without any OOC.

And Hence I cannot write a review for the Last movie. Sorry, Anon.

[grandinventor]

At the risk of sounding like a Jindosh apologist here (I am.) I will preface that Jindosh is a bad guy, he has either killed people personally or got them killed for experiment purposes by his Clockworks and has dissected the dead so he is not good, he is a villain, I acknowledge that.

Now with that out of the way I wanna criticize the narrative surrounding him and his mansion and how it sometimes falls flat on it’s face trying to demonize them thanks to a lot of points my friend @divaythfyr​ brought up. I’ll put all of that below the cut:

Yesterday I was told this line and I won’t lie it is...bad. Line in question: 

Billie: "His home is supposed to be full of marvels. Locals go in as a test of courage, or because they're desperate for a meal. Kids, even. People say you can hear them at night, pounding on the windows, calling for help."

But because I couldn’t live with the idea that he kills children you know the simplest villain demonization tactic in writing history (kick the puppy, kick the child whatever) and I think it’s pretty cheap to try and make him worse than Sokolov, I talked to the Jindosh apologist committee and thot about it so I’ll go over this line by line. 

1. "His home is supposed to be full of marvels.“ - Okay but isn’t his home also supposed to be scary? Isn’t the whole “Why would anyone build a scary mansion like this?” line from Emily/Corvo as they enter supposed to tell us that this is a scary place? Which is funny because in reality the mansion itself isn’t scary at all, in fact it’s extremely logical in the way it unfolds and exposes the rooms. It’s perfectly functional and as someone with a major in architecture, I can say it’s the best designed house in terms of organization in the game. There is no way to die in the mansion unless the Clockwork Soldiers and the guards get you - which goes for literally any important/rich person’s house? You walk in someone’s house uninvited and their guards get you. You can die if you get behind the walls but it’s extremely difficult to do so especially in the places where you can get squished. The house itself is completely harmless. So the whole idea from Jindosh’s end that it’s a maze is stupid on it’s own too, the house is perfectly logical and Stilton’s manor is an actual maze because I got lost 10 times in there. 

2. “Locals go in as a test of courage, or because they're desperate for a meal.“ - okay first part is correct people go in his house to either steal, test their skills or kill him. He says as much himself. He says fabled thieves and assassins died there. Again probably from his guards and Clockworks since you can’t die from the house in any rational way. And then he dragged them half dead or dead in his lab to dissect them. He has a fascination with watching people die because he is like evil and a villain like that. Which brings me to the next point which is:

There are only two ways to get in his mansion without powers. There is the bridge below which is broken and the railway which is guarded and has a Wall of Light on the other end. So how will anyone that is not prepared with a grappling hook or some kind of way to close this gap gonna get in? How is your random average person gonna go in? And most importantly why? Do people just walk in aristocrat’s houses and expect not to get out in a body bag or? 

Besides he has a) a lot of free food and drinks in the lobby which is his threshold as to how far you are allowed to go so if someone wanted food they can just walk in and take it and leave (after you know, scaling a mountain for whatever reason because there aren’t easier houses to steal from) and b) he has an audiograph, because I am sure he assumes people can’t read, which tells you “Do not enter or you will die and I will dissect your remains and this is a promise.” Like why add a warning if you wanna lure people in? Unless those people think they can outsmart him so they come with intent and not just because they need food/shelter. Also he has food right next to that audio. 

3. “Kids, even.“ - okay this one, the scary line. I won’t lie this made me uncomfortable. So like if we assume that normal people can enter by normal means (which in point 2 is clear they can’t unless further elaborated by the game on How? and Why?), a child going in as a dare and dying is possible. Billie after this line goes on to say that she saw a child dare his brother to touch the wall of light which vaporized the child, so the implication is possible. It’s possible a child went in his mansion as a dare and bad things unfolded. It’s also equally possible that it didn’t. We know of adult men dying because we see the bodies. For this one is just a rumor. You can take it either way depending on how you feel about Jindosh. It’s very unlikely a child would get this far though, unless this was some kind of Disney movie. Also Jindosh wouldn’t personally have a reason to kill a child you know, like I know it’s the easiest “this villain is super evil!!!!” writing tactic, but he had a pretty shitty childhood, he felt hated by his mother and probably wasn’t treated so nicely by his (bastard) brother. He likes to exercise his lack of control during his younger years by having control over other people through his house and toying with them. He is very childish in a sense too (with his toy house and toy soldiers), and because of all of this I truly don’t think he would kill a child. He wants a real challenge and to test out his machines and his house against the best and smartest Karnaca can offer, not children. Though my opinion here can be highly biased. 

Also many children can casually pull 6ft tall levers I’m sure--

4.  “People say you can hear them at night, pounding on the windows, calling for help." - we know people have died in the mansion and they have been crying for release, as he says so himself. But again the above points kind of challenge as to who these people that died inside were. However because you know I’ve been playing with his mansion for four years cause I am a dumb hoe, I can say that there are very little windows. In fact the majority of windows that aren’t blocked off by the cliff or the mechanisms are around his laboratory.

 Now yes people could go there and bang on them sure. But they literally...face the lab and chances are no one is gonna hear you bang on that side. The other windows not facing the lab are in the foyer where...you are allowed to be and nothing is gonna happen to you. 

And the windows that actually face a side where let’s say someone could hear if someone was banging are the windows on the front of the house. Only the thing is, there are no windows on the front of the house except in the foyer. 

Here are the buildings from across his mansion which I guess can maybe hear if someone was banging on the windows. But again no windows on the front of the house. 

The fake windows is where the mechanism for the ceiling over the gallery in the upper hall is. The one that kinda extends and unfolds from there. So isn’t entirely possible that the banging and screaming or whatever people heard is just...the mechanisms of his house? The scary evil child killing house? Which is actually moving and making a lot of noise at all times?

So in conclusion? Yes, Jindosh is bad, he has no regard to human life, he divides society as innocent bystanders and criminals. He does dream of an army of Clockwork Soldiers to eradicate all crime. Be, he isn’t a senseless killer, it’s his neutrality and fascination with death as well as his black and white thinking that makes him dangerous. He doesn’t see people as human. In the majority of cases we know of (except one for some reason? That cursed baker who got his brain fried why did you have to do that Jindosh!?) he experiments on people who he deems criminals without sympathy. Also in situations where he thinks it’s justified - breaking in to steal from him or hurt him, the Blade Verbena, prisoners that can actually provide a learning experience for his Clockworks and Sokolov. He doesn’t go kidnapping people off the streets to experiment on them. 

And despite his evilness being completely logical, the whole game tries to paint his mansion as this big puzzle and trap when in reality it’s...really just a house. The level design is beautiful and amazing but I think it doesn’t really carry the point as strongly simply because it’s not any more dangerous than any other mission and it’s just more fun when it comes to gameplay. The design is great but it never gave me the feeling of it being a horror house. So I think that demonizing Jindosh through hearsay instead of through his actual mission is a bit of a weird choice. A lot of things don’t reflect how evil he is, but not in the good way of “The Grand Inventor doesn’t seem evil but he is.” and instead you get it hammered how evil he is from the start without actually ever experiencing a climax of his evilness you wouldn’t expect. It’s not that every story should have a twist, but usually when you say someone is evil, you either make them good at the end or even more evil. Jindosh never has that climax, he is the same start to finish and that is... mildly annoying and slightly threatening. Like his level is pretty but not scary and they keep trying to convince you it’s scary which makes it weird which I guess is because if you listen to a lot of his unused lines and old concept art, he was supposed to be this stereotypical mad scientist but in the end they changed his visual design and lines so much he comes off as lukewarm. I understand what they tried to do with Jindosh but I feel like they failed to do it and had to rely on everyone saying he is super irredeemably evil to justify lobotomizing him.

Anyway this post is too long, sorry if the read more doesn’t go through somewhere and please feel free to counter my points I am open to different and non biased views (or even information I might not know because I haven’t read the books or found everything). 

[nonasuch]

how I would fix star wars

inevitably, I have been thinking about How I Would Fix Star Wars, and make the parts of TRoS that displeased me into a more coherent story. 

unfortunately, to do so will require the use of a time machine and veto power over the Lucasfilm Story Group. but IF I had those things here is what I would do:

I actually would not make a lot of changes to TFA. The main ones would be:

toning down Starkiller a bit as a threat, to a one-shot-per-planet deal but with a faster recharge time

slightly more stormtrooper stuff -- establish what Finn’s leaving behind and give Phasma a little depth. 

if possible, put some kind of distinguishing visual marker on the trooper who marked Finn’s helmet.

a small background detail that isn't important yet: after the village massacre at the beginning, show stormtroopers collecting the bodies, trooper and villager alike. if possible, do this after every scene with a significant body count, throughout all three movies.

either give the knights of ren some actual stuff to do or cut them out entirely

show kyle chafing at snoke’s leash, maybe demanding to know more about some of snoke’s various Secret Projects, and being dismissed

give rey a little time to settle in with the Resistance before leaving to find Luke. we don't have to show it much, just make it clear that she’s making a home there and has bonded strongly with Leia

clean up some weird pacing and make the travel times/distances between planets more consistent

honestly other than that I wouldn't change much. I genuinely like TFA a lot and its strength is in how well it establishes the new characters.

for TLJ, some bigger changes but the bones of it I'd leave alone:

make it more clear why the tracking through hyperspace is a big deal and make the solution less of a fetch quest

I really like parts of the Canto Bight plot but I would probably swap it out for something with more stormtroopers in it -- let Finn interact with other troopers and remind us that there are individuals under those helmets

(a recurring joke: Finn can always tell troopers apart when they’re in uniform, and Rose can never figure out how. he thinks it’s because he was a trooper, but no, it's because he’s Force sensitive)

maybe get close to convincing some of them to desert, but either they fail last-minute or the deserters get caught and killed

Finn and Rose escape by the skin of their teeth thanks to a trooper who helps them, letting them know that even if they aren't brave enough to leave, there are plenty of troopers who aren't all-in with the First Order

again, after any major fight show the body cleanup. troopers carrying and stacking the dead in neat rows. start hinting that there is something more ominous here than fanatical tidiness

the Snoke stuff -- make it more obvious that Snoke is orchestrating stuff other than just running the First Order. maybe have Hux ask about the cargo ships they're sending to the Unknown Regions, and get shot down

make part of Kyle’s refusal to leave w Rey due to his burning need to Know All The Secrets, and conviction that as Supreme Leader he could really clean up the joint

once Snoke is dead, show Kyle getting access to his secret files/vaults; do NOT show what he finds there

I'd also want to clean up some wonky pacing and timeline/travel distance stuff, probably, but again I really like most of the movie so it’s nothing major

also keep Phasma around for the next movie! what the fuck, she rules, why would you not

okay so that brings us to TRoS, which… would need a pretty major overhaul. 

First of all, we are working under the assumption that I have a time machine, so I made Carrie Fisher go to the cardiologist on the reg starting on day 1 of TFA rehearsals, and she’s fine and able to play the part as she was meant to.

with that in place, here’s how I would restructure:

we keep the Hammer Horror opening scene, but tweak the Emperor’s reveal. he’s much more corpse-y, without the tech umbilical keeping him alive -- a wraith animated by Dark power. 

lots of grandiose claims about his unstoppable army and his impending dominion over the galaxy, ultimate triumph over the Light, etc

don't show the armada yet -- just kyle’s reaction, which is genuine fear.

news of the Emperor’s return isn't a broadcast, but a whisper. a transmission from a terrified First Order cargo pilot, who’s learned the truth about his one-way trip to the Unknown Regions. passed through the lower ranks by rumor and hearsay. eventually leaked to the Resistance by an unknown First Order source

I like the idea from the beginning of the movie, that Rey’s trying to speak to dead Jedi through the Force. but it’s not working, and she shares her frustration with Leia

make it clear that she and Leia have a deep, strong bond.

give Rey a Jedi artifact to hunt for. maybe there’s a place or a thing that she thinks will let her commune with fallen Jedi, and that’s what they go looking for.

that lets us keep some of the fetch quest, but the First Order’s not as actively on their tail. 

they keep crossing paths anyway, and every time there are troopers doing something worse. maybe at one point they see troopers refuse to massacre civilians, and being killed themselves instead.

also they take Rose with them, because this movie needs more Rose

still have those post-battle scenes of body cleanup. now the cleanup crews are being killed once they’re done

this could be a good use for the Knights of Ren, actually. whatever is happening, they're part of it

Leia is more active throughout: she's on the move, recruiting allies for the Resistance, trying to figure out what's happening in the Unknown Regions

she has an actual scene with Lando, and he goes to Rey on her orders

tweak Poe’s backstory with Zorii. he worked with her while undercover for the Resistance, and left them in the lurch when the General needed him back. 

he’d have recruited her, if there had been time, but now he's glad he didn't: most everyone Poe recruited to the Resistance died at Crait.

when Rey crosses paths with Kyle, he’s obviously rattled. he Knows Something that he won't or can't tell her and he's even more fatalistic than usual.

lean harder on the unease/whispers of dissent in the First Order as they're told to do more and more awful things. maybe a scene where someone -- not Hux -- disagrees openly, and Kyle says something that implies that he's getting orders from someone above his head.

this gives Hux a chance to snark at Kyle -- isn't he supposed to be the Supreme Leader, now? who's telling him what to do?

off Kyle’s reaction -- someone is telling him what to do, and he's terrified of them in a way he never was of Snoke.

(keep Hux-as-informant, that was done perfectly)

Rey’s artifact hunt still takes her to the Death Star wreckage, off rumors that Palpatine hoarded Jedi artifacts. 

we meet Janna &co. Finn is so relieved and happy to meet other troopers who survived defecting. Janna tells him that there used to be more, that it used to be easier to get out, but more and more troopers have been killed in the attempt, without escaping.

by now it’s clear: there is Something Wrong With The First Order, beyond the obvious.

Rey fights Kyle in the Death Star ruins. Kyle tells her the Emperor wants to turn her to the Dark Side, that he can’t be refused or stopped, that even death won’t let her escape from him.

the fight plays out similarly, but Leia’s distraction doesn't kill her. 

after Rey heals him, Kyle faces his fear and talks to Leia via Force bond. He tells her what the Emperor is planning, and it’s Ben Solo who leaves the ruins.

he can give Leia files or some other concrete proof via the same trick he uses with Rey in the movie, because that’s honestly very cool and it was used really well, so we’re keeping that

when Rey talks to Luke on Ach-To, he tells her that Palpatine used the Empire to sow chaos and fear, because that made the Dark Side stronger and gave him more power to tap into.

Luke says: “I think he would have been happy to burn the whole galaxy down, as long as he could rule over the ashes.”

Rey realizes she can’t hide from the Emperor, and knows he’ll never turn her to the Dark. she goes after him.

Leia sends the Resistance to back Rey up and sets out to rally the galaxy with Lando and Chewie

finally, it’s confrontation time! Rey faces Zombie Palpatine, and he reveals his plan in all its glory:

he’s built an army of the dead. ghost ships, crewed by all those bodies we've been watching the First Order collect for three movies.

some of them we recognize, if we’re paying attention: the trooper who marked Finn’s helmet, Lor San Tekka, Hux. there are long-dead clone troopers, little more than skeletons in filthy white armor. half-functional Separatist droids. Resistance fighters and First Order officers killed on Crait. countless civilians. 

they’re all dead, all animated by Palaptine’s Dark Side powers, fueled by the strife and chaos he continues to sow throughout the galaxy

he doesn’t want to blow up any more planets. he wants to kill the shit out of absolutely everyone: the end of all life, and all Light. everyone in the galaxy a soldier in his undead army

he wants Rey to strike him down and become the new Sith Empress, ruling over an empire of ashes.

but we are discarding the granddaughter shit, because frankly it is not necessary and makes no sense. 

he can just be like ‘ah yes, a feral desert child, powerful in the Force, with no inconvenient ties to hold her back. I've had good luck with those, mostly.’

now, a brief side trip: what is the First Order doing, in the midst of all this?

well, the rank and file are actually not super down with the ‘join the glorious army of the dead’ plan. half of them are in open revolt; some try to run, some seize control of their ships and decide to fight for the living

Phasma leads Team Living. yeah, I kept her for a reason! Gwendoline Christie is great at this!

Ben shows up as before, fights the Knights, does the cool lightsaber trick with Rey. he fights with Leia’s saber.

when Palpatine drains their life force to restore himself, though, something happens differently:

it’s actually Leia’s life force. she gives up her life for her son and for the daughter of her heart, willingly and gladly, knowing she has rallied the galaxy to their aid. she tells them, before she goes, that help is on the way

the giant fleet that arrives to fight Palpatine has First Order ships in it. finally, everyone is on the same side. Palpatine has been playing both sides against each other since Episode 1, but it won't work anymore, now that they know what he wants. the long con is over. they're united against him.

Rey beats Palpatine the same way, Ben revives her the same way, but Leia’s sacrifice means he has enough juice left to survive it. 

idk about the kiss; I am Reylo-agnostic

but he’s going to try to shepherd the First Order into something that builds and protects, instead of destroying. 

people like Janna and Finn, who got out, and Rose, who lived under their heel, will show him how.

Finn is Force sensitive, and so are some of the other former troopers. 

some of them want to become Jedi

Finn wants to follow Leia’s path: do the training so he understands how to use the Force, but he's not meant to be a Jedi. he's going to be a leader -- not a general, hopefully, but a leader for peacetime.

so like. they won! hooray.

Rey takes the name Skywalker, still. Ben is fine with this: he’s a Solo-Organa. 

there can be a touching Force ghost reconciliation, or not, whatever

so. that is how to fix star wars. you’re welcome. if anyone out there has a time machine and an in with Lucasfilm, hit me up I guess?

[fizzingwizard]

I was curious if rewatching Kizuna after not having seen it since it released in late February would change my opinion of it any. It has a little bit. Not a lot, but a little. Spoiler warning!

To recap, I didn’t hate it or anything, it just didn’t amaze me. As far as grown up nostalgia movies based off anime go, it’s pretty solid, I think.

I felt that I enjoyed it more this time around, and I think there are a couple reasons why: first, I’m having a good day, whereas when I saw it in the theater I was in the worst mood ever. :P So there’s that factor that’s totally unrelated to anyone to but me.

Second, we’re now so distant from both Tri and Kizuna that I’m not so inclined to compare them. They really shouldn’t be compared anyway for billions of reasons, but before Kizuna came out it was a natural thing to be doing. There was lots of weird hearsay about Kizuna on the net before the release too, like that a long time Digimon producer had walked on the project etc...

(I guess if you waited till the DVD release/overseas release, it hasn’t been out that long for you... but for those of us who saw it last spring, we’ve got some distance now xP)

So here's how I feel about it now:

I still just don’t enjoy the whole “you grow up and lose your endless potential so your partner disappears” thing. And it’s not even like it doesn’t make sense. In the Adventure universe, what’s always been clear is that wishes, strong belief, passion, are the energy that fuels creation. It was a fun kid’s concept that has grown a lot and reaches I suppose its inevitable grown up meaning in Kizuna. If your view of the future narrows and becomes something like “I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing as an adult,” it’s easy to see how that would result in a decrease of that energy. And it CAN be renewed. They explain the entire movie in that one blurb at the very beginning (which I actually missed the first time since I got to the theater late) that talks about how change is inevitable and there’s always a new adventure.

It’s a fleshed out idea. Much more well-rounded than those old fanfics that treated Digimon like parental replacements and their disappearance in adulthood was synonymous with growth. I always hated that idea because, like, I get that some fans only really like the kids, but I always loved the Digimon. I think probably the majority of us do? And reducing them like that... it just takes away the fun and the emotional impact of the story. I hate to be hit over the head with metaphor, especially when the metaphor is grossly obvious.

But because of that idea that was so popular while I was growing up, I can’t help but clench my teeth through Kizuna’s interpretation of it, even though it’s so much better developed. Kizuna’s concept makes sense and doesn’t diminish the Digimon partners, not really... but I just don’t want it. The underlying theme that it’s up to the Chosen to continue to choose to be Chosen, in their own way, and continue to try to unlock their unending potential as adults, and then presumably they’ll be reunited with their partners... like it’s good, really, I should like it. I just never wanted it and still don’t.

The way the movie focuses so heavily on Taichi and Yamato bothers me less than it did on first viewing. It helps that I like those two characters a lot. I will always wish we got more of everyone, of course. I’m glad Koushirou was still indispensable. Takeru and Hikari got to be really cool in the opening scene. Seeing Angemon and Angewomon fight together rocked. Sora’s abscene was tough, but makes sense with the theme of the movie and her chosen role. All the characters still seemed like themselves. I’m always going to want more, but I’m grateful for that.

Also on initial viewing, I was underwhelmed by the 02 kids’ role, but now I think they got a pretty good slice of the pie, all things considered. Especially Daisuke and Miyako, who were awesome. I’m still whatever about Ken’s part though and wish they’d picked ANY OTHER HAIRSTYLE.

The pace of the movie is really good. It doesn’t feel rushed or jerky the way parts of Tri did. The first 30-45 min I really do think are stellar - it’s starting with the reveal that Menoa is the bad guy (big surprise, not) that I start to be less interested. It leads to the big battle scene, which is elevated by the emotional and mental trauma that powers Menoa and even powers the Chosen Children she abducts. I definitely would not have preferred a standard Big Bad with no relatable motivations. But I still don’t like Menoa, as a person or a villain. I kind of wonder if Menoa is the result of plans for Himekawa in Tri that never made it...

There’s that bit where the other Chosen are brainwashed, and yet not, because it’s their own wish for things to not have to change that powers them... I get it, I do, but I still wish there were less brainwashing. Menoa really had to reach to pull out that wish so that it was at the forefront of their hearts to the point that they’d attack Taichi and Yamato. So it wasn’t really their decision, unless it’s a sin simply to have conflicting desires. I’m not saying I would have preferred Hikari, for example, to have said completely by her own will “I’m with Menoa and I’m going to attack my brother!” because that would be dumb. Rather, I just find the whole child abduction to Neverland concept boring. The long and short of it I guess is I didn’t enjoy the battle scene that much. Regardless of the story around it, it’s still just an anime battle that ends with yet another new evolution.

We could totally have had interesting stuff for the other characters to do if there weren’t such a requirement that there be a big long battle. Some battle? sure. It’s Digimon. But does it have to be that long? Really? Kizuna’s not being shown to eight year olds during Saturday morning cartoons. It was adult fans in the theater after work. For a story that’s all about unlimited potential, I wonder did Kizuna itself really reach the unlimited potential for Digimon stories? lol.

So those are things I just can’t get around. However, at least we got an enjoyable movie out of it.

I still vastly prefer Tri. Kizuna has better animation, steadier pacing, and a more tied up storyline. But to me, Tri is better partly because of the amount of time it had (six movies to one), the huge risks it took, the great character moments everyone got, and the nontraditional plot. Of course, as I said at the start, it really doesn’t make sense to compare Tri and Kizuna for the simple reason that Tri is a series and Kizuna is a movie. That’s not to say a movie can’t kick a series out of the water - it absolutely can, quality over quantity folks - but in this case I’d argue the amount of time makes a difference. Digimon is a show about 8 individual kids who were all nearly equal in terms of how much they mattered in 99 Adventure. That’s why the extreme focus on Taichi and Yamato in the reboot and in Kizuna bugs me. Tri had time to take on all eight and we still complained that we didn’t also get the four from 02. Kizuna has all 12 of the kids in the main cast for just 90 minutes total, that’s it. For fans whose priorities, like mine, are face time with the characters, getting to know them again, see how they change, and enjoy a mix of the familiar and the different, I just don’t think Kizuna can fulfill all that.

Pretty much, if we had Kizuna without Tri, I’d probably hate it for that reason. But because we got Tri before Kizuna, I feel free to enjoy Kizuna for what it is. Which is overall pretty good if just not my personal desire.

lol how come I just can’t write anything short. xP All that being said, there were tons of things in Kizuna that I loved, the art, the snapshots of the adult relationships between characters, esp Taichi/Yamato, Taichi/Koushirou, Takeru/Hikari. And more than anything, the relationships between children and Digimon. Also loved cool spy Yamato of course. And the whistle. I said all this back in Feb so I’m gonna end now but I did just want to sum up my thoughts after they changed a bit.

[inexchangeforyoursoul]

Hello, hello, here’s my piece for the Halloween minibang organized in courtesy of the Chicken Tendies and Bacon Bits DabiHawks server~ and have the link to a more sensible reading experience (as t gets rid of formatting, too, and I’m lazy to put it all back in, at least for now): ao3

I was paired up with pineapple hair boy (dunno his url still rip) and our promt was haunted maze! \o/ I kinda included the other two we were gunning for, devil deal and ghost stories, so... multitasking, yo. Also put in my suggested fog, because as time passed, I realized how good it was even though I just put something into the box lmao

I’ll link pineapple’s accompanying piece as soon as they’re done with it, right here, in this line!! AND HERE IT IS!!!  👀

(Some of you may note... that I was supposed to be the artist. Well, it’s a long story, and likely on me tbh; I spent p much the entire week working on my piece, but I also started writing this one, and suggested doubling down on content, but unfortunately timetables are evil, and pineapple got mobbed enough as to likely run out of time if he also wanted to finish writing, so, um... yeah. This is not to say that we won’t do our original project, though, so stay tuned for the bonus round, hopefully soon! \[T]/)

(... also, I may or may not be considering to make this a full story, so there’s that)

Keigo trips for what feels like the millionth time on this way through the undergrowth- by day, the manor labyrinth is fairly easy to navigate, the kids frequenting it has kept it threadable. Nobody has legitimately tended to it for years, though. Or rather a decade, actually, it’s been a while he was here. Honestly, who cares, because--- oh, for fuck’s sake, more rose or blackberry or whatever vines to untangle his legs from. Great. Just… great.

He squints at his watch; still on time. Catching his breath after getting free surprisingly fast this time around, he takes a look at his surroundings. Not that he sees much, bear you. It’s near midnight and pitch dark. To top it off, the thick-ass fog often present, source: right damn here, has also crept into town. In fact, this is the worst it has gotten this year yet. There’s also barely anything he can hear from the dying-off autumn festival two streets and half an estate over.

It’s only him, his phone's flashlight, and the camera around his neck that also keeps getting caught in shit. That, and his own breathing that's getting his lungs numb from all the cool, wet air they are being exposed to.

Fooling around for so long has made him feel… antsy. Just a bit. The fact that his goal, that is to say the family crypt of the moneybags who used to live here is so close doesn’t help, either.

The entire plot is the stuff of local legends. The mansion is-was infamous for its… flammability, so to speak. Every few years, at least one room got totalled. Some believed that the last master had been a pyromaniac, up till the umpteenth house fire snuffed his line, and himself at the age of 60-something, out for good. But old folk said that the building had been ablaze just as frequently before his time- and truth to be told, there had been two more fires ever since, although those could have been the aforementioned kids or the occasional squatter. Two fires in about ten years is pretty normal in an abandoned place like this.

A few of those old people said the mansion had been built on hallowed grounds in their parents’ time, and the fires were punishment for disturbing the church ruins and the dead it used to house. Even fewer said the church must have been built on the very gates of hell and the ruins had kept the flames at bay.

And old geezer Giran in particular said that you could see the devil himself on the night when spirits roam free, around where the isolated belfry’s foundation stands still with walls crumbling- the place around which the crypts were erected on top of upturned graves. To be frank, the dude himself looked as if he escaped from hell, so what better myths to bust as an aspiring photographer? And even if the devil won't drag his ass outside, this will still make one hella Halloween photoshoot. He has loads of candles and some lampions in a backpack to get the mood right as well.

If anything remotely threatening pops up, though, like a mean stray dog… or a horde of drunk homeless, he's so ready to run for the hills, you have no idea.

He’s pricking his ears good as he closes in on the center of the once-upon large cemetery. One has to acknowledge the effort those rich bastards put into this dumb maze layout just to hide their own dead. It’s as if they feared a zombie apocalypse and concluded that they wouldn’t be able to get out if the hedges grow in a pattern, like, seriously. Then again, if the ‘horde of drunk homeless’ situation comes true, it will feel and work just the same, so who’s he to judge.

The scenery, too, is something to behold still. The entire area is surprisingly… not very foggy. One can see just as far as there is anything relevant to see, nothing more, nothing less. The waning moon even came out to play for a bit, shedding some decent light on his surroundings.

What catches his attention is not the excellent lighting to make photos, though, but rather someone sitting on the ruins of the old belfry, right under where the plump planet is working her magic.

He checks the display of his watch again- two past midnight. He’s late. Well, bummer… maybe next time.

That… guy, though? He doesn't look like any devil he knows of, but rather a human figure. One he also doesn't know of, actually. Which is remotely more interesting than Satan himself, because… that’s a goth silhouette if he’s ever seen one, and he’s seen all in town. All three of them.

They are a chill bunch, so he figures he might as well go up to this one. May be an acquaintance of Tokoyami and company’s who was also told about this spooky deal.

"Hey. Have you seen the midnight devil, or did he not get the memo this year?" He lifts a hand over his eyes to let him have a clearer look.

Just the way the other looks over to him, even while slouching quite a bit, is in a manner that’s nothing bar… uh… majestic, should be the word? Sublime? Yeah. That's peak cinematography. He’s… a bit at a loss of words here, because? People have waxed lyrical about the positively blessed relationship between him and sunlight, but this guy?? Has legitimately the most beautiful pair of eyes ever, period???

Before he could get too entranced by the sight of the sky blue pins of the overshadowed figure sitting between a moonlit sky and milky deep sea of mist, he notices that said eyes skim over him. Slowly, creeping down, and then up. Um…

Did… did he just check him out?

A hardly concealed grin can be heard out of his voice as he speaks up. “Hey there, angel."

… that's a yes.

This… coming from someone with eyes and a voice like… that, is actually… hm.

Like, look… he’s been looking forward college to maybe…  find someone he genuinely clicks with. But he has been through this immediate infatuation thing a hundred times already… and knows from experience that falling for mere potential is a grave mistake. What even are the chances that he’ll be the one? Put the aesthetic boner away and think rationally, Keigo. You don’t even know his name.

However, if, and IF he plays his cards well and this is not a total asshole… he could get both a photoshoot and a phone number out of this endeavor, which sounds like an excellent deal.

“Straight to the point, eh?” he acknowledges with a grin that's almost genuine. “Witching hour stuff aside, I don’t think I’ve seen you around…? A friend of Tokoyami’s?”

The other hops off the wall as he’s talking, stirring up some fog. Keigo could swear to hear absolutely nothing upon him hitting the ground. Must be the grass, but still, confirmed for cat. Not having to deal with the moon’s flare, he can now also tell that he’s about as old as expected.

The young man pauses to think for just a second before walking up to him. Nonchalance and weariness mingle in his steps.

“No, but I think I do know who you’re talking about. The kid with the raven.”

“Oh? Yeah, that’s him. Just visiting, then?” So he’s somewhat familiar with the area. Huh… how in hell did he never notice someone so obvious? Maybe he should come out here more often.

Also, is it just him, or did it get really cold all of a sudden?

“Him and his friends spend a lot of time here, I know enough. And yeah, something like that.”

As he stops in front of Keigo, an odd sensation trickles down his spinal cord, raising every hair on his nape. He’s had this once or twice when watching a legitimately good horror movie or catching a glimpse of an especially beautiful scene, or at least something very similar. It’s just the cold and being out in the middle of nowhere with a handsome stranger this time (which is kind of a combination of both), but still.

… this is not the time to be thinking ‘but what if he’s a serial killer and you are stuck out here with him alone’, brain. Thanks.

“Family business, gotcha.”

He’s onto something, because a certainly troubled look flashes over the hot--- the goth’s face as he reaches up to his own nape to rub away at it. “... yeah. That.”

The train of thought is seemingly swept out of the way after short consideration and his attention returns to Keigo. His neutral staring face is actually a little unnerving, no lie. “What about you, coming out here? Didn't quite catch what you first said.” He eyes him in a way similar to when he was sitting up on the wall, as if measuring him up.

“Oh, I wanted to take some photos,” Keigo starts, lifting the camera and the first candle he can grab from the bag, swinging it playfully around a few times with a smile to mask the nerve building up inside. “I figured it would be a nice opportunity even if the hearsay tale of the ~devil~ coming out at midnight was total humbug. This place is very atmospheric.”

What he says rouses a chuckle from the other. “Oh, so I wasn't imagining things. Been a while since I last heard that one.”

For someone deadpan he really has a cute smile. We are on a schedule here, but please never stop?

Keigo presses the tip of the candle into his cheek in contemplation, trying to steer his thoughts back on topic. “You mean, that local legend thing? I heard about it fairly recently… from the most suspect old dude." He rolls back and forth on his heels, watching out for reactions; "Giran, if the name is telling. But asking other old folks made them ring a bell, too, so I guess I was just ignorant.”

The other raises an eyebrow in amusement as the fading smile pulls into a smirk. "Maybe you are, a little bit."

Oh, come on. "Nobody is born cool, wise, or a folklore expert, okay…?" He pouts.

"I could already tell you were born without a trace of those things, alright."

"..."

He just said that. Looking him dead in the eyes.

Wow.

Dude's lucky his smile is cute, because that was so uncalled for and he's way too proud of himself. Sheesh. Anyway…

"Said the one who wouldn’t know manners if they hit him in the face…” He sighs. "Before we go down the name calling path, though… I’m Keigo." This was getting a little awkward without throwing it in, although he doubts the cocky asshole deserves it.

“Touya. My pleasure.”

Keigo hums as he moves to rummage through his stuff for the lighter he definitely threw in the bag before setting off. That’s not a very common name, but… “I think I’ve heard of you before…? Beats me where, though.” He’s pretty sure the conversation happened years ago by the crypt here, though.

Everything he says seems to amuse the other to no end. “It’s probably for the best. You seem like the type to run for the hills.”

Keigo gives him the side eye; being right aside, the hell is that supposed to mean…? And he’s so smug about it, too. About everything, really.

And no, it really wasn’t a line even remotely connected to serial killers, shut up, brain.

“Cryptic, are we?” he sighs, lighting the candle with a flickering click at last. The gentle flame sheds some dim, fog-broken light onto Touya’s face, and Keigo hates himself for being charmed by what he sees once more. That pale skin looks too perfect to be true… should feel like silk under one’s touch. If he ever gets a proper close-up look, he swears he’ll get a heart attack.

Touya blinks once, resetting his expression to nearly a default. “It's the two of us in a haunted, abandoned graveyard, inside a fog ridden maze, on the night after the 31st of October. You are basically begging to wind up dead. Coming off as cryptic and creepy as possible right now is elementary, angel.”

He… he legitimately can’t argue with that. The guy's almost as good at this as the bird kid is. “... touché.”

Stunned for words, he places his candle where planned instead. It's so stupid, but makes… so much sense. Is this why they all are like… that?

As he moves on like that without a word, Touya seems to get weirded out himself. "... You okay there?"

"I just had… an epiphany." He says, putting the first lampion with pinpoint precision. This guy just accidentally revealed some kind of arcane goth knowledge too advanced for him to begin to understand and doesn't even know it.

Touya heaves a deep sigh. "... you obviously got the wrong one out of that, but congratulations nonetheless."

“Maybe? I have not the foggiest what you were trying to imply.” He’s not that thick, but the dude’s being ~cryptic~ or whatever, and he’s not in the mood to write an essay on what edgy goths mean by what they say.

“Ah… figure that's why it's so clear out here this year… all the mist from the glade must have relocated to your head.” concluding that, Touya’s eyebrows pull closer upon seeing whatever else the blonde pulls out from his backpack while shooting a glare in his direction. “… what are those for?”

Keigo considers not answering at all, but decides against it. Being the bigger person by default is such a chore sometimes, but… “There’s some decent moonlight to work with, but these umbrellas help me get the little extra I need right where I want it. See?” With that, he turns the flashlight on and blinds the other with the sudden brightness.

“Ow, seriously?! I haven’t seen daylight in decades, turn that shit off…!”

… but, he can multitask and still be an asshole while answering the question. And laugh at the reaction, then laugh some more the decades comment as the other rubs his eyes, because he positively has the looks of a display-tanned indoor hermit. A hermit who is having a bad time.

“Wanna help, or would you rather brood somewhere the umbrellas won’t be able to reach you?”

A mechanical click can be heard in the distance; now that there’s no music playing in the streets, the bad (and always slightly ahead of time) clocktower bell can be heard signalling quarter past midnight. This seems to catch Touya’s attention and remind him of something as he stares into a nondescript spot for a while. At the very least, Keigo is certain he’s not thinking about the question that slipped out and which he will regret- if he says no, it’s gonna be the disappointment… if yes, then it’s because of all the things that will definitely go wrong.

“... well, it’s not as if I had no time to kill,” comes the apathetic answer a few seconds later, although the wrinkling eyebrows are telling of his misgivings regarding the idea.

“...”

Now, hold on… hold on, he may have an even worse idea that he’s definitely going to regret…

Keigo taps his pointing fingers against the camera anxiously. “Actually… say, what would it take for youuu… to be my model tonight?” He takes out his best puppy eyes as he looks over to him with the tiniest smile, blinking slowly.

It’s as if Touya had another light induced migraine immediately. He looks almost disgusted, which… is hilarious. “For that I'll take both your life savings and your soul.”

Keigo stifles both a giggle and a sigh at that, resulting in somewhat of a snort. He must be put off by those umbrellas quite a bit. "Really…? If that’s all, fine by me."

The answer brings back Touya to a much more reserved, if not vaguely sceptical stance. “You… sure are ready to jump the gun for that, huh.”

"Well I, too, am asking a bit much of you out of nowhere, aren’t I?” He asks, shrugging. “I figured it was worth asking, at the very least… you fit the mood a little too perfectly, one doesn’t get an opportunity like this every day. If all it takes is my birdie bank, that’s fine by me. … We can also talk about the soul part later if you want to.” It takes him every ounce of self restraint not to throw in a wink at the end.

“...” Touya stares in contemplation before taking a deep sigh and scratching his head. "Fine. I guess it’s going to be much less bothersome than posing for hours to have a portrait painted."

Keigo’s ears perk up at that. Like, a lot. "Y---you… there's a portrait?!"

Whaaa?!? A professional-ass painting, of him?? And, even more importantly, where?!?

"... I know what you're thinking of, and no, I have not the slightest idea. Who knows, maybe it even burned along with---" he cuts himself off right there. For the first time that night, he seems upset, or rather angry; whichever it may be is the strongest emotion the blonde has seen him display in these past minutes, affecting even him quite a bit. His hairs stand alert once more--- but the sentiment goes as it came, along with Touya’s stifled ire.

"... never mind. Let’s just… get on with this."

"..." He figures that being nosy would be straight-down rude, having just met and already asking for quite a bit… so he lets it slide as if nothing happened.

Keigo turns around to the lampion that he placed before the convo started.

Huh… that’s weird.

He doesn’t remember lighting it.

Overall, Touya seems to pay quite a bit of attention to what he's doing, visibly taking mental notes of the processes he goes through. First, it's a little embarrassing to be watched so closely, but eventually Keigo gets used to it and just does his thing. He soon finds himself in the zone, in fact. Hell knows how much time goes by as he keeps clicking away, barely even instructing, but rather just basking in whatever the other does, giving the okay to everything. He’s not even bothered by the bone cutting cold that’s now heightened by a breeze, because Touya seems to be a natural, and by god, does his presence do things to him. He’s had phases of architecture, mixed media with cutouts and shadow play, birds, and abandoned places, but this… this must be what finding a muse feels like.

When he's looking for the misplaced lighter for the hundredth time again, it's already shoved into his face.

"You should just keep this in your pocket, angel."

"Ah, thanks." He takes it, then turns to Touya sheepishly while pulling his jacket tighter as the light wind blows especially cold air down his collar. "I've been… stupidly quiet for a while. It must be really awkward, uh… am I really not bothering you?"

"It's fine. I like having the company."

Maybe his voice is softer than before… or maybe he’s just imagining things.

“I, uh--- same.” Keigo feels blood creeping to his face, so he quickly moves on; “I have enough of these candles left for like about one more location. Any ideas?”

It takes Touya only a second of consideration before he nods towards the belfry ruins.

He flashes a smile; “Gotcha.”

In barely 10 more minutes, Keigo is speeding through the hundreds (whoops?) of photos he’s taken, walking circles around the ruin. His breath hitches over the one where Touya looked directly into the camera right by the wall. He’s gonna frameit and putitonhiswardrobedoor andmmmakeit his ppphone wallpaper---

He can hear a chuckle behind him, and remembers that whoopsie daisy, he’s not alone. “You're pleased as punch over a few pictures… It’s adorable.”

Keigo gets red to the eartips this time around, realizing that he’s got that goofy-ass smile Rumi keeps teasing him for. Unfortunately for him, once it gets pointed out… it always sticks. “I’tsjustthat---…!! I… didn’t think I’d get such nice photos at all? Moody scenery is nice and easier to sell, but I prefer lived-in spaces and models, anything that feels alive. Especially when they’re so pret...ty. Patient.”

Someone kill him.

“...”

The thin eyebrows twitch the smallest amount and for a torturous, silent pause Keigo wishes for some kind of deity to strike him down and grant a merciful, immediate death.

“I suppose I’ve had a few years to put some patience practice under the belt.”

He fights the urge to run away crying. There’s no way anybody exists who wouldn’t see right through that… at least he gets to see that cute smile once more.

He forces one on, too. “... I can tell.”

The wind starts picking up, distracting the other. Touya takes a look up to the moon, which has made quite some progress on its route since they’ve been there. Then there’s three clicks echoing through the night, signalling that it’s nearing 1 a.m. “Well… you were babbling about showing me, too, so you better hurry. I don’t have much time left.”

Keigo snaps out of the shameful frustration only to be legitimately ashamed. “Oh… sorry, I… hadn’t even considered that you had other business tonight.” Shit. He just assumed he had all night, but Touya was just humoring him until he had other business.

The other shakes his head. “It’s no issue, just get your fidgety ass over here already.”

As he makes his way over to him, Keigo feels something grab onto his leg and the familiar itch of thorns scratching up skin through his jeans.

Fucking vines again.

He should have expected this, shouldn't he. As he stumbles forward, he sighs in immediate acceptance.

He would have never expected being caught, though.

Nor Touya’s hands being as cold as a frozen piece of meat that can be felt even through his jumper and jacket. His touch sends shivers down his spine, freezing him in surprise first; if the strap didn’t get caught around his arm, the camera would hit the ground as his hand loses its hold on it.

What he’s definitely not ready for, however, is the arctic chill radiating from every inch of Touya’s, the same icy presence that he’s been feeling ever since… since he got close.

The thing that makes him break into cold sweat and brings even the blood in his veins to a halt, however, is the pair of forget-me-nots staring into his soul from mere inches.

Those beautiful, blue eyes, that… that are glassy and clouded and definitely not… human.

His lips part, but the scream dies off in his throat.

The realization flashing in his eyes draws a lenient, gentle smile onto the pale face. “You’re slow, angel.”

Keigo's paralyzed in what he can only guess is sheer terror, his body's last resort in hopes that the threat will just leave if it's not interesting enough to investigate. His mind, however, is racing and panicked as his inevitable end leans in for the kill.

Fuck.

Fuck, he's… dead.

He's dead, he's dead, he's dead---

He’s dead.

At least, that’s what he remembers thinking before passing the fuck out… not knowing who exactly he was referring to anymore. Because he feels positively not alive when waking up on the belfry’s cold ground, on the patch of concrete that lay behind where the catafalque used to be, surrounded by what remained of the candles and lampions he had brought along, and some of the flowers that people decorate graves with.

The spot where everyone suspected a former hidden path… or another grave.

He turns around, because now he remembers where he last saw the name Touya- it’s barely legible, but there it is, crudely chiselled into the stone right above the grey ground.

At first he supposes that the cold, empty feeling that seeps through his entire being must be the nasty cold and pneumonia he gets after the deed. As the days go by, however… the shivers and cold sensation persist and his dreams are plagued by endless mazes, fires, and haunting, blue eyes all the time.

His second guess for the cause of it is lingering fear: on the camera, he finds creepy photos of himself lying in the grave once he gets better. When going through them all, he considers to delete the ones he took of the other or use them for digging, (there’s no fucking way he actually hung out with a ghost, is there?) but… they all pop up as vaguely distorted landscapes, with light spots where a pair of eyes may or may not be.

Having stared blankly for like an hour at the one he really liked back then, he throws the camera into the corner of his armchair and doesn’t touch it for weeks.

This carries on through winter, in spring, and he's convinced of how badly he fucked up when even in the suffocating summer heat he feels the veil of an icy embrace.

Once leaves start catching rust again, the chill makes his bones ache, much like they did after the encounter. And it only gets stronger by the day. He hasn't shown the pictures, developed or otherwise, to anyone. Somewhere down the line he figured… that he should just give him the photos and trade them back for his soul, because hell if that dementor did not help himself to it right along with the kiss he definitely got but doesn’t remember. Trauma alone cannot possibly cause this.

It's midnight again. This time, he's already there, waiting for the toll of the distant church bell they had fixed and reset sometime in spring. The autumn fog is as thick as ever.

His grip tightens on the envelope; deals like this are notoriously hard to break or undo. Hell, the guy agreed to have the photos taken, creating a nice little loophole. Whether he printed them, deleted them all or whatever might be a moot point.

… no. No, he can't start thinking about this right now, if he comes he'll get this thing annulled, get his damn soul back---

As the last gong dies off in the night, a pair of lean arms slink around his aching chest and pull him against a body so cold it's scalding his skin.

"Hello again, angel," greets the voice, sounding a hundred times sweeter than he remembers.

…

Or maybe… he'll just let him keep it forever.

[zombizombi]

burned out like the prom

( teacher AU masterpost can be found here! )

The theme for Prom that year, as decided by the senior class, was “fairytale magic.” Jack received instructions from Alice -- bring a date if he liked, but don’t dance; don’t take selfies; don’t overdress… he couldn’t remember the rest of them, but almost everything was something he wouldn’t have done, anyway. He didn’t even use the social media.

Jack put on a black suit and tie, combed his hair. His things were plain, really, but that was fine. Right? After standing back from the mirror, he frowned. Maybe a blue tie? He had a light blue one that he liked fairly well.

Before leaving his place, Jack tucked a few aspirin into his jacket pocket, just in case. He had a feeling there would be very loud music and more than one mishap, because high school was high school, small town or no. Bittle had suggested they just meet at the school, but that sort of defeated the point of going together, so Jack had offered to pick him up. It saved gasoline, anyway, if nothing else.

Knocking on Bittle’s door, Jack shifted his weight from one foot to the other. On the way over he realized that he’d never really been to a high school dance. All he had to go on were movies about American high schools and hearsay. Were those real? What was he getting himself into? It was -- the door opened and Jack waved. “Hi,” he said.

Bittle smiled, more hesitant than usual. His light grey suit fit him perfectly enough that it had to be tailored, and the green tie around his neck was a real bowtie, not the clip-on kind. “Mr. Zimmermann,” he said.

“I like your suit,” Jack offered. Was he supposed to stay on the doorstep?

“Thank you,” said Bittle. He paused. “Ah -- come in, please. I’ll be ready in just a moment, I was just findin’ my shoes.”

Jack stepped inside. “I’ve never been to a prom before,” he said, as Bittle shut the door.

“No?” Bittle smoothed a hand over his blond hair. “Don’t they have dances in Canada?”

Explaining the fact that he’d been busy playing junior hockey seemed like it would take too muc time. Jack shrugged.

“Well, it’s nothin’ too crazy,” Bittle said. “Or, at least, mine wasn’t.” He went down the hallway.

“Alice made it sound pretty wild,” said Jack.

“Well….” Bittle returned with a pair of brown shoes in hand, shrugged. “Somebody’ll probably be caught drinking or screwing around under the bleachers, I caught two of my boys last year.” Sitting down, he pulled them on over floral socks.

Jack blinked. “That’s just kid stuff.” Normal. Right? He was definitely doing worse than drinking under some bleachers at sixteen.

“I know,” Bittle said. Glancing up at Jack, he smiled again. “You’ll see.” He stood. “All right! All ready to go! Are you?”

“Well, I don’t know, now,” Jack said.

“Don’t worry, I always bring some Tylenol.” Bittle laughed. “For the headache that is chaperoning teenagers!”

“I put aspirin in my pocket,” Jack admitted, and Bittle laughed again, shoulders relaxing a little.

They climbed into Jack’s truck, Bittle walking to the passenger’s side and pulling the door open before Jack could get to it. He snapped his seatbelt into the buckle as Jack climbed in. “Ready for this all American experience?”

Jack laughed. “If not, it’s too late. Right?”

Bittle smiled.

The drive to the school felt a bit… tense. Bittle rattled off information about almost every house they passed, letting Jack know who lived where and who made the best potato salad. It would have been hard to get a word in edgewise if Jack had wanted to. They walked in to the dance together, but only just -- Alice accosted Bittle immediately, claiming to need help ensuring that part of the decorations stayed in place.

Bittle’s departure left Jack to take in the cafeteria’s transformation. The students responsible for the prom decorations had clearly worked hard. There was a photo station, naturally, and everything was sort of… glittery. Balloons covered the ceiling, and the stage had been transformed into some kind of castle. Jack tried to stay near Bittle as students began to arrive, but it seemed impossible -- he kept wandering off, saying hi to someone or other, and the music was so loud and the room was dark. Jack kept losing track of Bittle entirely, and he never managed to find him without company, which --

Maybe Jack misinterpreted the situation. It was a small town, after all, and he didn’t know Bittle that well, but he knew he’d grown up in that environment. And given Bittle’s current behavior, it was very unlikely that he had any interest in Jack beyond professional friendship. He was cheerful, of course. Smiling, like always. But he wasn’t the same as he usually was, warm and friendly. He certainly wasn’t making any effort to stay close to Jack, and there was an edge to his smile when Jack came near.

Standing near the refreshments table, Jack frowned. Perhaps he’d assumed -- well. He’d definitely assumed, based on Bittle’s manner, that he wasn’t straight. Thinking about it, Jack sighed. His college friends would be ashamed. Just because a guy liked baking and was a bit more feminine than some other men Jack knew didn’t mean he was gay. After all, Jack was gay, and he wasn’t anything like that. Maybe Bittle was only being friendly. Sociable. Maybe Jack had made Bittle uncomfortable, but he was too nice to say anything?

Oh, Jack hoped not.

He liked Bittle. Liked him a lot, actually, more than he’d liked anyone in a long time. It was easy to spend time with him, and he always made Jack laugh. At the very least, Jack wanted to be able to see him more, even if Bittle wasn’t interested in him in that way. He probably owed Bittle an apology. He should really -- take the hint find something to do with himself that didn’t involve Bittle at all. After drinking half of a regrettably sweet and opaque cup of punch, Jack cleared his throat and went to find Alice so that she might give him a distracting task.

The dance lasted hours. Jack didn’t even manage to catch anything untoward happening -- he ended up monitoring a hallway, taking his aspirin halfway through the night, and avoiding the rest of the horrid punch. It was, if he was honest, an extremely disappointing night. The combination of heat, second-hand embarrassment, and Pitbull at something like 95 decibels was a bit much to bear. It was hard to follow what students were doing, and with the school empty otherwise, it was easy for them to slip off. Judging by conversations he overheard, it sounded like most of the students’ planned debauchery would be taking place outside of the dance, anyway. He should’ve just stayed home and re-watched Band of Brothers, gone for a late-night run, and turned in early. It was a relief when last of the students began to leave.

Jack took the broom Alice offered him, swept up glitter and trash without much comment. Bittle had to be doing the same somewhere, he supposed. They’d arrived together, though, which meant they’d leave together. Right?

He was right, it turned out. Bittle was waiting by Jack’s truck when Jack walked out, having looked for him unsuccessfully everywhere else. He’d honestly sort of assumed that Bittle had gotten a ride home with someone else.

“Hi,” Bittle said, when Jack stopped short, staring at him. He wasn’t a tall guy, but he looked so small, standing there.

“Hi,” said Jack. “I, uh. I thought you’d maybe already gotten a ride home.”

It was dark, a little hard to tell if Bittle was blushing or not. He looked down at his shoes, ran a hand over his hair again. “Oh. No! I, well.” He smoothed his hands down the front of his jacket. “We came together, so I just thought -- if you’d rather I did, I can --”

“I don’t mind driving you home,” Jack said, reaching around Bittle and pulling the passenger’s side door open.

Bittle glanced into the truck and then back at Jack’s face. “Thank you,” he said, voice softer.

“Sure.” Jack shut Bittle’s door, walked around to climb in and start the engine.

They rode to Bittle’s house in silence. It was weird, sitting in silence with Coach Eric Bittle. Jack didn’t think he’d spent much time in his presence that wasn’t full of warm chatter. It felt odd, and Jack needed to figure out how to fix it, how to be better. When he parked in front of Bittle’s little house, Jack took a deep breath.

“Well,” said Bittle. “Thanks so much for takin’ me, it was real nice of you. Hope it was as American as you’d hoped for!” He turned away, hand going for the door handle.

“Bittle, I’m sorry,” Jack said, as Bittle opened the door. “If I made you uncomfortable tonight. Or any other time.” He tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “Thanks for explaining the dance to me.”

Pausing, Bittle looked back at Jack. After a long moment, he pulled the truck door shut again. “Jack, can I ask you somethin’?”

Jack frowned. “Sure.”

“Was this -- this wasn’t, um.” Bittle shifted in the seat. “You didn’t mean for -- that is, this wasn’t supposed to be a... date. Was it?”

Moment of truth. If Jack said no, he’d never really figure out what had happened. And if he said yes, he’d be outing himself to a faculty member, potentially ruining what was supposed to be his fresh new start. He hadn’t planned on saying anything, but something in Bittle’s eyes, in how carefully he was holding himself in the passenger’s seat of Jack’s truck made his chest hurt, and -- “I thought it was,” he admitted.

Bittle let out a soft little sigh, like he’d been holding his breath waiting for Jack to answer.

Jack opened his mouth to say something else, explain that he knew he’d gotten it wrong and apologize again, but then Bittle leaned in, pressing their mouths together. It was a soft kiss, hesitant and light, and Bittle almost pulled back before Jack slid a hand around the back of his neck, urging him closer. Slim fingers curled around Jack’s tie, yanked him forward, and Jack braced himself with one hand on the passenger’s seat as Bittle nipped at his lower lip.

Fuck, he’d never been so happy to be wrong in his life.

[hisgirlwonder]

House of Wolves - Part One

Length: 4.6k words Warning: N/A Synopsis: You’ve been offered an apprenticeship at Kineros Robotics and you couldn’t say no; you’ve been dreaming about working in the field for as long as you can remember. Will it be everything you’ve been building up in your mind, or will it all come crashing down around you? Notes: Set somewhat in AHS? Y/N is, as you will read, nineteen and took time off after finishing school before searching for a job. She’s found her dream job but it isn’t without risk. Also, I decided to make Y/N’s character a virgin but we will delve into that more in another part. This is an idea that came to me at work and it was the easiest almost 5k I’ve pumped out before. I think this might be my longest fic? The boss/employee thing is a definite kink and somewhat based off a real-life crush I had on a manager years ago at my first job. I’m also taking inspiration in this little series (I guess it is?) from a few movies I’ve seen.

It had been nearly 3 months. Something like close to ninety days, roughly 2,160 hours, around 129,600 minutes (okay, give or take a few hundred) since you found out you got in. Six weeks went by after the submission of your video and letter as to why you should be picked and you had basically given up hope that the spot would be yours... until that day, 3 months ago, when you received an e-mail telling you that you’d been chosen and you almost fainted.

“Honey, you need to get up. You don’t want to be late for your first day.”

A voice rouses from your sleep, causing you to groan and rub at your tired eyes. Your vocal cords aren’t quite awake yet leaving you with a husky tone as you ask, “What time is it?”

Every bone in your body wants to stay under the covers for another five minutes. Your mother stresses that five minutes was actually half an hour ago when she first tried to get you out of bed and that you didn’t want to be rushing at the last minute.

You roll over to check the clock on your nightstand and luckily you still had a couple of hours before it was time to leave for work. This meant you didn’t have to worry yourself into a state. Today was the day you start your apprenticeship at Kineros Robotics; only the most prestigious robotics company in your city – you’d been waiting for this all summer; every morning since receiving the offer you would pinch yourself to make sure this wasn’t just a dream and it was actually happening.

Your mother has parked herself on the edge of the bed, looking at you with doting eyes and more excitement in one finger than you have in your entire body. It wasn’t surprising at all because you were her only child. I guess in ways she lived through your success.

She asks what you want for breakfast and you tell her you’re so nervous that you probably can’t even stomach a glass of juice. She somehow doesn’t believe you, cheekily adding, “I’m sure this is a problem that blueberry pancakes could solve,” pushing her weight up off of the bed and walks over to pop a kiss on your forehead.

“Yeah, okay, you got me. I’ll get ready and then be down.”

*

It feels like holes were being burned into you as stares hit when you come into to the kitchen. Your mother is admiring the beautiful creation she had made all those years ago and is hit with pangs of nostalgia. Time was ticking by much too fast for her liking – one minute she was taking you home from the hospital, the next you were crawling around on the floor in a diaper and sooner than she’d care to admit you were starting high school, buying your first car, and now, your first day at your first job.

She exclaims, “Look at you! You look all grown up. Look at these curls!”

The newfound responsibility you’d acquired and what you were dressed in did make you feel like you were 29, not 19 when you looked in the mirror. You were aiming for “not a nun but not quite a slut” as your best friend would word it; a white blouse paired with a cardigan, your favourite black skirt, and heels which used to terrify your mother - she didn’t want you falling over and injuring yourself; you assured her each time you wore them, both with word and by action, that you could, in fact, walk in these shoes and that if you were going to injure yourself you didn’t need shoes to do it.

That woman liked to encroach on your space, both physically and mentally. She called it motherly love but you sometimes felt like it was more like motherly suffocation. Being an only child was hard because you were subject to all of her worries as well as her happiness. Brushing her away, you remind her, “Mom, mom, stop. It’s not like you haven’t seen me like this before.”

She stands in front of you, a few inches taller, hands reaching for your collar to straighten it with tears forming in her eyes. “Yeah, Y/N, but this is a milestone. It’s your first real job out of high school. My baby is no longer a baby.”

You sit down at the table and your eyes hit the plate before you, confessing that it all looked pretty delicious. Aside from being a parent, she was the queen of pancakes and nobody could change your mind. The sweet scent flooded your nostrils and your stomach instantly started to scream out to be fed. You started to cut up your food and piling it onto your fork, ready to take a mouthful.

“It’s an apprenticeship, not a job.”

Your mother settles on a chair across the table from you, pulling it in while she responds, “Sweetie, that’s just another name for a job. You’re being paid and gaining hands-on experience, that’s what counts. Do you know much about your boss?”

You swallow the mouthful you’ve been chewing on and affirm what you’d been told, “Only hearsay. That he’s young, powerful, and wealthy.”

Your mother wasn’t the type to beat around the bush. She warns, “Yes, well, if he’s nice to look at don’t let his pretty face fool you.”

She’s concerned and unbeknown to you she had every right to be. You always tried to see the good in people but your mother had what they call a mother’s intuition and she knew there was something lurking beneath the surface.

Mildly offended and also slightly worried at the subtle accusation, you hit her back and remind her that you were more than just a nineteen-year-old girl who would get heart-eyes over every boy. You’d been dreaming about a career in mechatronics since you’d started high school and no boy, no man, no human was going to take the opportunity away from you.

“Mom! Of course not. You know how badly I’ve longed for a shot at this ever since I realised what I wanted to do.”

Underneath it all, you know she cares and that she’s projecting her own insecurities onto you. She didn’t get to live out her dreams and you were hit with some guilt because you were the reason behind why – this left you with even more of a need to make her proud.

The warmth of her hand hits your skin as she reaches out and caresses the back of yours, trying to apologise, “I know, I’m sorry. I just worry. I should know you’re smart enough to learn from my mistakes. Boys can be so tempting. I remember when I met your father and-“

You cut her off and snap at the overused line she was going to spin. You tried to take a deep breath, remembering that her mistake wasn’t you; it was the fact that she hadn’t planned things out more carefully. “Yes, and the two of you worked out so well, didn’t you?”

That man, if he could be called one, made you sick for the hurt he inflicted on your family. From as early as you can remember he made trouble for you and your mother before running away with a woman he barely knew. He was barely a man – what man leaves his young child and wife for a floozy he met god knows where?

Your sight flicks to the watch on your wrist and you’re hit with a gut punch – the “wonderful” conversation with your mother took longer than you wanted it to, leaving you barely any time left to fight the traffic before you’d really be late. “Oh, shit, I have to go!”

You pick up your keys off the kitchen table and kiss your mother’s forehead before rushing out the door.

Breathlessly, you mutter to yourself, “Crap, crap, crap. Traffic better be kind to me.”

-

Traffic was certainly not kind. You arrived at Kineros Robotics ten minutes after you were due to start and you were already dreading it because being late was not in your nature. You rush in the front door and arrive at the reception desk, ringing the bell. A woman with fiery red hair dressed in a beautiful purple outfit comes to see to you. She shoots you a forced smile, closer to grimacing, “You must be Miss L/N. My name is Wilhelmina Venable.”

“Yes ma’am,” You tell her, attempting to catch your breath. You stick out a hand for her to shake but she doesn’t reciprocate your actions - taking one look and she’s obviously coloured unimpressed; it wasn’t obvious if it was because you were late or because she didn’t like the look of you.

All you get is an order to follow her. She leads you a couple of doors down past the reception area and informs you, “Mr Langdon doesn’t appreciate tardiness. I’m aware you called in which is appreciated but don’t make it a habit.”

“I’m sorry Wilhemina-” you already had an apology ready that you’d drafted in your head while stuck in the traffic. She doesn’t want to hear and lifts her hand up, signalling for you to stop.

With her sharp tongue, she corrects your lack of better judgement, “It’s Miss Venable to you.”

“Oh, yes, I’m sorry, Miss Venable. I promise I won’t do it again. Traffic was a nightmare.”

The room you arrive at looks very different from the rest of the building. Kineros Robotics looked mostly sterile but from what you could see through the glass, this room was cosy. “We’re here.”

She hits you with a sinister smile; as if she was aware of something you weren’t, and pulled open the door. “You should go in first.”

So you do, gingerly stepping into the office with Venable a few steps behind, and the two of you wait for his attention. He stops typing, only to tell Venable to leave - his words were short, cold and imagined they would have tasted unsavoury rolling off the tongue.

He didn’t bother to look at her when he spoke but with you, it was different. He looks at you, flashing a heartfelt smile, and holds an arm out to point at the chair the other side of his desk. “You must be Y/N, please do sit.”

You weren’t ever really one to disobey rules and so you immediately sit down without hesitation, resting your forearms on your thighs and your fingers intertwined each other; fidgeting almost. “Yes, Sir. I’m her. Thank you for offering me a place. I never thought I’d end up being able to fulfil a dream of mine.”

Michael stands up and moves around to perch himself on the edge of his desk, filling the space between you and the office furniture. “Your application was excellent. You have quite the brain. One which I would like to study. We definitely need someone like you here.”

You felt the heat rise in your body, flushing your cheeks and turning them rosy red. You were flattered, to say the least. Not a lot of people complimented you on your smarts, if at all. “Thank you, sir.”

“Tell me what this means to you. A lot of people would love to be in your position, are you willing to do anything for me and this company?”

“Oh, of course, I will. It means everything, sir. Like I said in my application creating this sort of thing, with my own two hands and brain, will be such a rewarding experience.” You gesture with your hands, trying to validate the importance and truth of what you were saying.

“Very good. Now, since this is an internship it means you will be doing a wide variety of tasks, a lot of them will be under me. You may have to work late, start early, do things out of the general scope of Robotics and more along the lines of helping me, helping this business. Is this acceptable?”

You nod your head in compliance; you already fell a pull to help him however you could. Your E/C eyes locked on him as he moves back to where he was, behind his laptop. “Excellent. I’d love to stay and chat but I have a meeting soon. Let me get Wilhemina to come and collect and you. She probably has a few things you can help her with.”

He calls Venable on his phone and asks for her to collect you. His tone of voice is so different; with you he is pleasant and with Venable he is blunt. His ring-adorned fingers catch your eye as he hangs up the call – you’d never seen anyone with such regal jewellery before, certainly nobody your own age. Michael didn’t appear to be more than ten years older than you. The rumours about his wealth must be truth. But how?

“It’s been a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to working with you.”

Every compliment he has given you is swirling around in between your ears, causing you to feel slightly light-headed. You rise up from your seat and just about knock over the chair before catching it, preventing it from falling, “You too, and again, thank you.”

A smug look appears on Michael’s face, almost like he knew you were going to be fun, “Do be careful. We don’t want our future number one employee to hurt themselves now, do we?”

Venable clears her throat to make her presence known; you weren’t sure how long she’d been standing behind you but when you turned around to see her she was staring Michael down. She cocks her head in the direction of the exit and rushes you along.

The two of you walk travel to the front desk, chatting as you walk.

“I see you’ve met Michael”

“His name’s Michael?”

Venable scoffs, “Yeah but he prefers people to call him Langdon. If you’re one of the chosen ones you can call him Michael but honestly I don’t think any of us here are allowed to call him that.”

Arriving at the front desk, you see box upon box of what appears to be folders. It looks as if Venable had been inputting something into the computer. Your inquisitive mind knows you should be quiet but you can’t help it. Reaching for a folder sitting on the desk close to you, you pick it up and ask, “What’s all this?”

She snatches the folder from your hands and puts it out of your reach, “I have to input this data into the system. Housekeeping and all of that.”

You offer your help; saying she must have better things to do. She finds it amusing and you aren’t quite sure why. Those eyes of hers roll and she sarcastically remarks, “Yeah, like licking Michael’s shoes clean.”

“Really?”

“Don’t be so stupid. Do you even know how to use the software?”

It was at that moment you had to look away from her; part of you wanted to laugh and part of you wanted to cry. You felt so bad for her because she was so bitter; if you cut her open she probably bled black.

You swallow the need to be right, letting it sink to the pit of your stomach and dissolving in the bile before answering her with a simple “I sure do.”

“Huh, fancy that. You’re making yourself useful which is always needed at this company,” she points over to another room which you presume is a laboratory, “There are a few people in there who are anything but. Just input the data as it’s read on the documents, and then save when you’re done.”

She gestures in the other direction, where you see a door, “If you go through that, it leads into another hallway. There are signs to tell you where to go but you’ll find a café down there. Just go and eat whenever you want. You’ll need to break when you can… Michael can be rather demanding.”

“Good or bad?”

“You’ll see.”

*

“So how are we going? Settling in okay?” A familiar voice sounds from behind you. It’s Michael and his hand on your chair. You think it’s best not to get distracted by his presence and attempt at continuing your work. It was difficult. The cologne he’s wearing is to die for and lures your attention away from the screen.

Michaels head dips down to be level with yours and asks, “What are you doing, anyway?”

Biting back the feelings he brought upon you, eyes on the screen, you explain, “Wil- Miss Venable needed this entered into the system.”

He turns his head a fraction and so do you. “You can call her whatever you like,” he continues by lowly commenting in your ear, “technically you are higher than her since you’re my assistant as well as the office intern. I need you to stop working so hard on your first day and come with me, Y/N. Let's go get a coffee.”

“Okay, sir.”

You leave the computer as is, unsure of the password to unlock it, and Venable is nowhere to be seen to ask for assistance.

*

Michael is standing beside the coffee machine, his fingers hitting random buttons, “You know, I can feel your nerves from here, Y/N. I guess it’s a good thing I’m not giving you any caffeine.”

“Well, sir, uh, this is my first job and I didn’t want to mess up.”

He pulls his cup away from the machine, stirring as he walks over to the table where you are sitting and plants himself next to you. You watch as the cup rests against his plump bottom lip, wondering what it would be like to kiss him, and then you watch as he swallows a mouthful of the hot liquid, focusing on his adam’s apple quiver; you can feel yourself growing flustered at the sight of him.

He rests the cup down on the table, that mouth of his transforming into a smirk mostly because he knows you’re watching him, “You know, you don’t have to call me sir. That’s usually reserved for naughty children and I don’t suppose you’re one of those.”

Oh, but I could be…

He continues, “I feel like we should be on a first name basis. Call me Michael.”

If you’re one of the chosen ones you can call him Michael…

“Also, I think you’re doing a fairly good job so far. I don’t have to worry about you, do I?” There goes the smirk again. Then another drink of his beverage. You began salivating at the thought of how wet his mouth would be. About those long fingers wrapped around the mug. About his hands doing things.

Those blue eyes catch you staring at his hands and you quickly look down at your own, with twiddling fingers. “N-no si- Michael, you don’t.” He grazes his teeth unconsciously over the same bottom lip you were eyeing up all the while aware of the effect he has on you from both you stumbling on your words and the body language you’re giving off.

“Michael, I don’t mean to pry and forgive me if I am out of line, but are you and Venable okay with each other? I haven’t met someone who holds so much aggression like she does. Is it because of me?”

He clicks his tongue before beginning to rattle off an answer he had prepared in advance for such a question, “Venable is a special sort.” He gulps down the last of his coffee and places the empty cup down. “I mean, one could assume she’s threatened by a prettier, younger, individual such as yourself but it’s not that. She’s jealous of me because she wanted to be the VIP of this company and then I offered Jeff and Mutt a price they couldn’t refuse and started calling the shots.”

“Oh.” You were relieved albeit a little concerned.

It was Michael’s turn to ask questions, “Why do I get the feeling you’re a girl who is smarter than she lets on? Let’s go to my office. We can discuss things further there.”

-

You didn’t notice earlier how nice his office is; none of this a surprise – any normal person wouldn’t be able to concentrate with his presence nearby, but you? You were the human embodiment of a kitten when you were nervous crossed with a deer in headlights.

After you’re done taking in the décor of his office, you sit down on the chair from earlier, Michael closes the blinds so others cannot see through the giant glass door; it was unlike anything you’d seen – both a wall and a door joined together. He travels over to his chair and uses a finger to invite you in, saying, “Come here, YN. Let me show you something.”

Your hop off and traipse around to his side, peering down at the screen. “I suppose since you’re my Right Hand now I’ll let you in on a secret. This is what we’re planning for the future. We want to open up another Kineros Robotics and let’s just say if I have my way Little Miss Venable will be out of our hair.”

This was all so much for your first day. You couldn’t imagine what you’d be feeling like the end of the week. Next, he was going to tell you he was going to take over the world, which you weirdly weren’t phased by the thought of.

“So, you’re going to fire her?”

A small chuckle erupts from Michael’s lungs, “God no. I’m sick of her attitude but she does keep things in line for the most part. She’ll be sent to work in our new building. Who knows, maybe one day you could end up in her role. Granted, of course, you would be more than just the front desk bitch. I only put her there because she was like a dog with a bone from the moment I met her regarding her authority over this place. She hates that I’ve overtaken her and it’s hilarious. She’ll never quit - nobody else would put up with her and that smarmy attitude.”

You smile, “Seems like it’s all working out for you then.”

His mouth drops and his sadness is apparent from the heavy sigh he expels. “It is, but it does get lonely.”

“What? No Mrs Langdon?”

“I’m afraid not. I’ve never really found anyone with the je ne sais quoi that I’m looking for”

You were surprised and tried to reassure him, “I’m sure you’ll find them one day, Michael.”

His eyes dart to your mouth before scrolling up your eyes. You knew he was hiding something but you weren’t sure what it was. You didn’t dare pry any further – the two of you hadn’t even known each other for a day, despite how comfortable it felt.

“Maybe one day. I guess I should let you get finish whatever you’ve been roped into. You don’t have long until she’ll be forced to release you from her vice-like grip.”

You nod and walk out the door, heading back to where you were. As you get closer, you hear Venable screech and swear.

“Miss Venable, are you okay?”

“Am I okay? Why did you leave the computer unlocked?”

“I didn’t have the password to get in.”

She jumps down your throat like you assume she’s been longing to do since you got here, “You don’t think you could have just found me? Anyone could have accessed what was on here, you do realise that, don’t you?”

Michael rushes out of his office, coming to your rescue, “What seems to be the problem ladies?”

She points at you like a dagger and rats you out, “She left the computer unlocked, Langdon. With everything out in the open for anybody to access.”

He shoots you an apologetic look, “Y/N, excuse us. Wilhemina come into my office. Now.”

Both of them disappear behind the door. Voices start speaking - muffled but you can still make out what is being said.

“What do you think this is Michael? A game?”

“I don’t know what you’re on about.”

“You and that little girl out there. You know what I’m talking about. Why else would you not tell her off for doing something you drilled into me?”

Michael refuses to give her more of his energy than he needs to, simply telling her there was a time and a place. Venable didn’t like this. Not one bit. She starts to lay into him, words overflowing with discontent, “Bullshit, Michael. I’ve seen the way you look at Miss Virgin Pure since the moment she stepped foot in this building earlier today. She’s daisy fresh and innocently came to you for a job but you can’t help yourself. Your eyes are practically defiling her right in front of me. Are you willing to do anything for me? You make me sick.”

He spits back at Venable, putting her in her place, “Firstly, did I give you the right to call me that? No, and secondly, what makes you think I’m going to treat that girl like I would treat you?”

“Because it’s human decency?”

Venable didn’t quite get what Michael was hinting at; thinking he meant like a regular employer but he meant, subtly, that he found her unattractive. “Why don’t you go look into a mirror and ask yourself the same thing, Wilhemina?”

She stayed quiet because in the present moment when she’d been knocked off her own pedestal, she knew Michael was right.

You’d soon come to learn that she wasn’t always a redhead and that the burnt orange hair colour was a symbol which she wore like a badge of honour – she picked it to symbolise her red-hot temper and her willingness to burn anyone who got in her way. There was only one person who could beat her at her own game and it was Michael. You couldn’t blame her for the fact he destroyed her defences; in time he’d destroy yours as well.

He taunts her, “Cat got your tongue, hmm? Go back and do your job like I pay you to. Bring Y/N here, I need to speak with her again.”

She walks out of his office, with a face almost like thunder, refusing to look you in the eye.

“Michael wants to see you again.”

*

“Sorry to call you away from what you were doing, or not doing, but I’ve decided to limit the amount of time you spend with Venable. I don’t think she needs to be involved in our arrangement.”

“Our arrangement?”

“Thi- Your internship, Miss L/N. There are many things I’d like to teach you.”

Unable to look at you, he had to stop and clear his throat mid-sentence to hide the fact he was becoming somewhat unhinged. Venable wasn’t wrong in the accusations she shot at him. Something about you dissolved away the hard exterior Michael had built up. Was he thinking about you the way you were thinking about him?

You snap back to reality, trying to stop your mind from wandering in a place it shouldn’t. “Oh, yes, of course. I’d love to learn everything.”

After experiencing deflation from the earlier conversation and at Venable’s meltdown, his face again lights up from your eagerness. He was more than flattered you wanted to learn from him and trusted him to be your teacher. He’s back to his old self, teasing you, “You’re free to go for today but I better see you here on time tomorrow, Y/N.”

“Yes si- Michael, I wouldn’t miss it.”

Little do either of you know, you’ve begun playing a dangerous game.

Taglist: @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @sensitivethot @sammythankyou @sevenwondr @langdonsdemon @itsaliceinthegalaxy

[im-driving-myself-crazy]

the covid birthday drama

so heres the tea

on new years eve i hung out with morgan and aliena. we ate at a nice restaurant, stopped at a boba shop, and went to morgans house to watch encanto

this entire time, aliena had a cough. she said that she was pretty sure it wasnt covid bc of other symptoms

i had a good time with them. i enjoyed the food and the movie and the company. we did the countdown and popped some bubbly wine

the next day i get a message from aliena

"hey, turns out my cough was from me being covid positive so I wanted to let you know😭"

it sucks, but i get it. i stay quarantined the next few days and avoid people and places

div asked me if i wanted to hang out on the 8th. i told him that id love to but that i may have had a covid exposure and that id take an at-home test and get back to him with the results. it wasnt my business to talk about aliena's health like that, so i stayed vague on the 4th, i ask mom if i can take the test we have at home, and she says that i can in a bit as it takes a few days for covid to appear in your system on the 6th, i tell div that ill take the test that night on the 7th, i ask mom where the covid test is. she says that its hard to buy covid tests anymore and that im fine and that i dont need to take it.

im not happy and this puts a wrench in my plans bc i dont want to get div sick. so, because i do feel fine and because div has the right to make his own health decisions, i give him all the details.

"Mom won't let me take the Covid test we have in the house and she says I'm fine. so idk 🤷 if u want to trust that or play it safe."

then, because he needs to know the date and length of my exposure, i text him

"Aliena said she was covid positive after New Years, so that was the exposure I was talking about. I won't be offended if you'd rather play it safe"

i felt bad telling him, as its not my news to share, but i felt like knowing the full circumstances was something that he deserved. he said that i was fine, and that he'd see me tomorrow.

on the 8th, he picked me up in his mustang and drove me to his apartment, telling me we have a reservation at a nice restaurant in an hour. when we open the door, two voices scare me from the dark. Ania and Christina (and Morgan, who had temporarily ducked into the next room) had been waiting for me. div had kindly thrown me a surprise party.

after a bit, lauren showed up and div picked up Phat Eatery and we all made the trip over to Lauren's apartment. they had gotten me cake, christina had gotten me a preset, and ania baked cookies (she said she originally baked a cake but it turned out poorly so she made cookies instead and picked up a (really nice) cake on the way)

we ate and sat on the couches, and that's when they told me the tea. aliena was supposed to be at my surprise party that day, but div had no idea she had tested covid positive. he messaged her and asked her when she got tested, and she said that she had been tested on the 29th of December!! That means she knew that she had covid BEFORE we hung out. BEFORE we were at Morgan's house for HOURS where none of her family is vaccinated and he dad is immunocompromised. she knew when she visited the restaurant and the boba shop with all of those people. she knew when we removed our masks to hang out. she had a cough and she just let her germs get everywhere

and its one (still bad) thing to go to the store and infect people you dont know, but ME??? you care so little about MY health that you cough all over me??? you care so little about your friends that you get all of THEM sick???

i wasnt in the planning group message, so this is all hearsay: after i told div about aliena, he messaged her in the group they had for the party. he said that he had found out that she had covid and (apparently very nicely) uninvited her. in response she disagreed and then left the group. she posted on a 'private' insta account (that lauren and ania both follow) and apparently vague-posted things about how awful her friend was being, and that it wasn't fair that she's being punished for something she had no control over, and that it wasnt anybody elses business if she had covid or not (which i agree with, until you go to hang out with people, then it is 100% their business to make that decision). of course ania and lauren told div what she had been saying

div's message is how ania found out. ania's sister, aga, just had a baby on new years eve. aga is staying with her parents and ania, so ania is helping to take care of the baby and can't risk an exposure. thats why ania didnt hang out with us on new years eve. not only was aliena willing to infect ania by hanging out with her at my party, that very morning she was planning on going into anias house. where she could infect the baby (not to mention anias elderly parents). directly. her selfishness could have easily killed a baby. i am so glad i decided to tell div. i cant imagine how awful i would have felt if she had been here. how ania would have had to stop interacting with her niece.

we talked for a bit about other instances of her being selfish and how a lot of what we attribute to her being socially unaware can instead be attributed to her being selfish. i think we're going to pull back on inviting aliena to things, at least for a bit.

~~~~~~

additional thoughts:

i was so happy to see ania, i really thought i wouldnt be able to see her over break and i was so sad.

morgan also had no idea that aliena knew on the 29th

christina got me a succulent and named it egg

i love my friends

final thought is that, as i didnt actually see div and aliena's DMs, that she might have said that the 29th is when she got tested (and got her results on the 1st), which could have been misconstrued to her knowing on the 29th. either way, everything after the 1st is unacceptable

1/20/2022     10:47pm

[bitchinparty]

Panel Voting is open!

Since we only got 7 more panel submissions than there are slots for panels, we decided not to do two rounds of voting as planned. Instead, voting will be open from now until February 18th. The voting form contains all the panels and descriptions along with mod names--please let me know ASAP if I missed any of the co-mod arrangements flying around! Voting closes at 11:59pm on Sunday, February 18th. VOTE HERE! (Voting instructions are in the form. You must be registered for the con for your vote to count. Side effects may include increased heart rate, shortness of breath, uncontrollable gigglefits, and inability to can. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.) Panel Descriptions SINGLE FANDOM Women of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (mod: Minim Calibre) Natasha Romanoff, Peggy & Sharon Carter, Jessica Jones, Shuri, Gamora, Valkyrie, Maria Hill, and many, many more! Let's talk about the wonderful women of the MCU and why we love them. Avengers Reassemble (mods: Lucifuge5, mizface) MCU's been kicking it for 10 years and counting. Where is it going and where would we want it to go next? Captain America: The Star Spangled Man With a Plan* (*for certain values of plan) (mods: Minim Calibre, Gwyneth) From a kid from Brooklyn to a bearded outlaw, come talk about Captain America and Cap fandom as it stands on the eve of Infinity War. Pacific Rim: Uprising - Next Gen Heroes Yay? (mod: Raine Wynd) Pacific Rim Uprising gave us another apocalypse and a set of new heroes to like. Let's talk - and maybe discuss where Raleigh and Herc were doing while this was going on. :-) The Real Bad Place Is The Friends We Made All Along (mods: SDWolfpup, Brynn, Minim Calibre) The Good Place started with a straight-forward premise and became one of the most complicated, delightful, and philosophy-loving shows on TV. Let's talk about why we love it (so many reasons!), how it manages to keep turning its own premise with such skill, and what we hope for next season. The State of Bandom: 2018 (mods: aethel, Lucifuge5) Bandom in 2018 is a different beast from Bandom in 2007. We'll chat about how the fandom has changed (and how it hasn't) and what the musicians are up to now. Come reminisce about your time in Bandom! A short time ago, in a fandom not so far away... (mods: bessyboo, exmanhater) Let’s talk STAR WARS! Originals, Prequels, Sequels, Rogue One, Clone Wars, Rebels, EU—which parts are you really feeling, and why? Which parts that you’re not already into should you check out? What did you think of The Last Jedi? Everything from the galaxy far, far away is on the table! Miss Fisher's Intersectional Feminism (mod: krytella) The adaptation of MFMM from books to the screen aged Phryne up into a rare portrayal of a glamorous heroine over 40 surrounded by a broad range of supporting female characters. The show tackles social issues around gender and class and occasionally attempts to grapple with racism and Australia’s colonial history. What do we love about it, what do we wince at about it, what do we wish we had fanworks about for it? Visit Themyscira (mods: cyborganize, metatxt) Share your Wonder Woman story, whether you're a movie lover, a Lynda Carter devotée, or a long-suffering comics fan. A conversation about the conversation about Wonder Woman: why we feel how we feel about her, what she represents, how she has been represented. Explore Diana's origin in the early 1940s (see: Professor Marston and the Wonder Women) and her fictional origin in the Amazon culture of Paradise Island / Themyscira, and why the character and her worlds are still relevant. Will involve the F word – feminism! (And the other F word – femslash!) META AND MULTIFANDOM Sometimes we pay for it (mod: rivers_bend) come talk about queer romance novels, fannish tropes in pro fiction, and finding the perfect book for you. It's the End of the World As We Know It, And I Feel Fannish (mods: SDWolfpup, cyborganize) Post-apocalypse shows & fic are plentiful, and have plenty of fans, even though they're (usually!) very dark. What draws us to these worlds? What are your favorite post-apocalyptic media and why? What do we learn about ourselves from watching others struggle with the destruction of everything they knew? Where Do We Go From Here? (mods: Minim_Calibre, cyborganize) As the Internet changes and sites rise and fall, how do we stay connected as a community? Can we? Explore the state of fandom in 2018 and how has it changed since the first Bitchin' Party ten years ago! Fandoms That Won't Die (mods: aethel, Lucifuge5) Come talk about the fandoms you love that surprised you with their longevity! Why do some fandoms last and others don't? Fannish Osmosis Fic Exchange (mod: Scribe) Write a stranger the fic of their dreams...for a canon you only know about via hearsay! Other types of fanworks welcome, as long as they can be completed in about fifteen minutes; reading/sharing with the room is encouraged for maximum hilarity, but not mandatory. You Like My Thing Wrong (mod: bessyboo) You know that moment when you’re really into a popular thing, but you hate the popular pairing, or character, or fanon characterization? Or maybe you’ve been into something for a million years and suddenly everyone else is on board too, but everything they’re saying and creating is just…WRONG? Friends, let us get together and discuss strategies for taking a breath, chilling out, and avoiding feeling like horrible fandom hipsters or Bitter Old Fandom Queens when other people just Like Our Thing Wrong. Cest is Best (mods: bessyboo, metatxt) Incest and step/pseudocest have seen a rise in popularity recently in the mainstream, from Game of Throne to Billy & Billie to The Flash, but they've been popular in fandom for over a decade. What's the continued appeal of incest in fandom? And why do you think it's starting to hit more mainstream popularity now? Do you have limits on what you will or won't read--and has that changed? Are you here for the sitcom fluff, the dirtybadwrong angst, or something in between? Let's talk about fandom's fondness for keepin' it in the family! Feelings Are The Worst (mod: jedusaur) Emotions run high when you care a whole lot, and fandom is all about caring a whole lot. Let's talk about different types and contexts of fannish feelings, what sparks and alters our fannish interests, how and why conflicts arise in fandom, what feelings even are (your mod will make a sincere effort not to derail the conversation too far into the intricacies of the ventromedial prefrontal cortex), and what situations lead to fandom obsession, frustration, gradual indifference, and loving everyone in this whole damn bar. Alphas, Omegas, Doms, & Subs: Alternate Gender System Tropes (mods: krytella, keerawa) Why do A/B/O, BDSM AU, and other AUs that play with alternate gender designation have such strong appeal? Do they provide a safer space to eroticize gendered oppression, create a dystopian critique of gendered oppression, or both at once? Are slash gender system AUs an expression of internalized misogyny or badly written female characters or something else entirely? Do slash and femslash uses if this trope serve to straighten the queer relationships they depict? How about alpha/alpha and omega/omega stories, or D/s AUs centering switches? Wait, we only have 50 minutes? Documenting Fandom (mod: aethel) Fans have been writing down the history of fandom since fandom began. Let's discuss the various ways and reasons that fans document fandom! And also Fanlore. Speed Dating Small Fandoms (mods: metatxt, cyborganize) A semi-structured con-game where we share and explore why we love the small fandoms we love. By generating a creative categorization structure, together we will match-make fans with new small fandoms relevant to their interests. Our goal is for everyone to leave with a new fandom to date and a new fan joining one of their small fandom faves. TECH AND WORKSHOP A Song and a Dream: Now What? (mods: SDWolfpup, scribe) You've got the perfect song for your fandom - what's next? How do you get source? What do you do with mkv files? Square pixels? Frame rates?! To outline or not to outline? Do I really need a clip database? Let's talk about it all! Break on Through: Getting Beyond the Block (mods: Minim Calibre, thewightknight) Come share tips and tricks for defeating a creative block. Why We Write: Fandom Needs You! (mod: keerawa) This panel is aimed at aspiring writers, experienced writers dipping their toes into fanfiction, fanfic writers who've been going through a dry patch, or anyone looking to get the creative juices flowing. Topics will vary based on the participants, but might include how to start, where to find cheerleaders and betas, where to post, how to get over that hump and throw ourselves into writing something we and other fans will love. I'm sure the FBI has a file on me: research and fandom (mod: Minim Calibre) Ever find yourself needing to know the marriage requirements in places you'll never live? In-depth information on weaponry? Best ways to hide a body? And, of course, sex tips you may or may not ever need. Come share your tales of research gone wild and/or pick up research tips and tricks from your fellow fans. Oral Not!Fic (mod: bessyboo) In this workshop, we’ll define what oral not!fic is, talk a little about how to create it, and then finish up by creating an oral not!fic before the panel is over! Cosplay 101 (mod: bessyboo) Have you ever wanted to get into cosplay, but weren’t sure how or where to start? This panel is for you! We’ll discuss strategies for choosing/designing a character & outfit, and putting together a costume (for both DIY & “I am 0% crafty” options!) Makeup Fandom 101 (mods: bessyboo, visionshadows) Do you not wear makeup because you find it intimidating, but would like to start? Are you a total makeup pro who loves to talk brands and share your knowledge? Maybe you're somewhere in between, but want to know how that person on tumblr achieved that super sweet eye look or particular nail art you loved. This panel is for all of you, as well as anyone else who wants to come talk everything from skin care to shadow to nail polish. (There may be a makeup swap at the end of the panel!)

[binsofchaos]

Ursula Le Guin

One rule of the game, in most times and places, is that it’s the young who are beautiful. The beauty ideal is always a youthful one. This is partly simple realism. The young are beautiful. The whole lot of ’em. The older I get, the more clearly I see that and enjoy it.

[…]

And yet I look at men and women my age and older, and their scalps and knuckles and spots and bulges, though various and interesting, don’t affect what I think of them. Some of these people I consider to be very beautiful, and others I don’t. For old people, beauty doesn’t come free with the hormones, the way it does for the young. It has to do with bones. It has to do with who the person is. More and more clearly it has to do with what shines through those gnarly faces and bodies.

[…]

I know what worries me most when I look in the mirror and see the old woman with no waist. It’s not that I’ve lost my beauty — I never had enough to carry on about. It’s that that woman doesn’t look like me. She isn’t who I thought I was.

[…]

We’re like dogs, maybe: we don’t really know where we begin and end. In space, yes; but in time, no.

[…]

A child’s body is very easy to live in. An adult body isn’t. The change is hard. And it’s such a tremendous change that it’s no wonder a lot of adolescents don’t know who they are. They look in the mirror — that is me? Who’s me?

And then it happens again, when you’re sixty or seventy.

Who I am is certainly part of how I look and vice versa. I want to know where I begin and end, what size I am, and what suits me… I am not “in” this body, I am this body. Waist or no waist.

[…]

But all the same, there’s something about me that doesn’t change, hasn’t changed, through all the remarkable, exciting, alarming, and disappointing transformations my body has gone through. There is a person there who isn’t only what she looks like, and to find her and know her I have to look through, look in, look deep. Not only in space, but in time.

[…]

There’s the ideal beauty of youth and health, which never really changes, and is always true. There’s the ideal beauty of movie stars and advertising models, the beauty-game ideal, which changes its rules all the time and from place to place, and is never entirely true. And there’s an ideal beauty that is harder to define or understand, because it occurs not just in the body but where the body and the spirit meet and define each other.

[…]

My mother died at eighty-three, of cancer, in pain, her spleen enlarged so that her body was misshapen. Is that the person I see when I think of her? Sometimes. I wish it were not. It is a true image, yet it blurs, it clouds, a truer image. It is one memory among fifty years of memories of my mother. It is the last in time. Beneath it, behind it is a deeper, complex, ever-changing image, made from imagination, hearsay, photographs, memories. I see a little red-haired child in the mountains of Colorado, a sad-faced, delicate college girl, a kind, smiling young mother, a brilliantly intellectual woman, a peerless flirt, a serious artist, a splendid cook—I see her rocking, weeding, writing, laughing — I see the turquoise bracelets on her delicate, freckled arm — I see, for a moment, all that at once, I glimpse what no mirror can reflect, the spirit flashing out across the years, beautiful.

That must be what the great artists see and paint. That must be why the tired, aged faces in Rembrandt’s portraits give us such delight: they show us beauty not skin-deep but life-deep.

[nonononononyesyesyesyes-blog]

i watched a movie today at the cinema lol...just because i wanted to eat popcorn...and i realise ppl really only go to the cinema for 2 reasons...1 to date or 2 as hang out activity with friends but i think mostly still number 1 to date....and i of course fall in the non-existent category which is just to have an excuse to eat popcorn....watched king arthur simply because the name and poster look like it can be a blockbuster...but the thing was i actually googled it at the counter before buying the tix....funny how my internet was workign so fast suddenly and all the searches showed it was a flopped basically the reviews were bad...and yet a min looking at it i went straight to buy it....tryna to convince myself it cant be that bad right....well it was horrible not to mentioned they made us watched ads for fucking 20mins!!! yea definitely dont rmb when was the last time i went to a cinema got tortured like this....and the movie thought it was gonna at least be exciting but damn its farrrrrr from it....but at least therere a few funny lines here and there....but then the visual effects were good like realluy good but the storyline mygadddd!

i went at first to submit the resignation letter and thought i could get my cheque today but nope....they said friday so yea wtf....and angie realised i didnt write the date of the letter...and so guess what yea i printed it and nope i aint gonna put the date....just to screw them up if theres anything wrong with it...gonna ask someone to bring the cheque to me outside and i will pass the letter and just leave like that!! and ive started writing bout the article i wanna share on wob...but now im gonna focus on just 2 angle 1st mostly on how the company hire and exploit staffs as probationer and keeping us as probationers without valid reasons and depriving us of the commissions we worked for and never gave us a official written assessment report....im not sure if companies actually do that but logically speaking shouldnt that be only fair for us???? because what if after month and months later new invalid hearsay surface about our work performance??? from the way i see it this is so fucking wrong....i rmb even when working at toywatch they hired as part timer knowing id stay only for 3 months but i did less than that yet i got SOOO much of commission well good thing they were a hit back then. and now i wonder why sunni being their best sales person would just leave the company and shes close with tahnee prolly she knew the company was having some troubles who knows....and i wonder what if someone gets bully at workplace how can they do with it??? because company always backup their own staffs....like shirley she said just because she always argue with angie ok i understand shes a senior admin staff but still makes no sense one is in sales another in admin you cant just simply deny ppl liek that!!!! and i think the lesson here can also be working in a small company may not be good....too much political can get into the way and they can easily gang up and not go through things with the right protocol...im sooooo tired with this but i gotta hold up till i get my cheque and share the story no way i can just let it go so easily what if other ppl face the same problem again because theres no fucking maximum probation length i still cant fucking believe this!!! 

i feel so sick just thinking bout this entire thing....good news is i called mr anwar today told him i no longer working there...and told him next time i could help him with things like how i helped him...and he said i can call him when im around bukit bintang and we can discuss...sooo now im like hmmm when should i actually go and see him??? if i do it this week surely liek damn pushy maybe next week because im afraid if i drag it long we might forget bout it...haizzzz my head cannot think properly....and im not done with the site!! 

last night i got a message from her on fb so she unblock me lol...and said she blocked me cause im bitter after she gave me some advice...but seriously im just toooo tired to even tryna explain myself...because shes obviously kinda wrong about me....i do hear ppl out if theyre undertsanding and have the willignness to hear ppl out first...like shahbell and angie i know theyre....but omg i cant believe shes the type who makes assumptions out of ppl....she doesnt even know someone well enough to say all that....i mean i know i stalked her and all that and it gave her a very bad impression of who i am...but still haizzzzz seriously next time shalinn youre required to think fasterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrr

[redantsunderneath]

Does anybody remember the Twin Peaks Holiday Special

I wanted to know if anyone remembers the Twin Peaks Holiday Special with the little man from another place, because it was common knowledge on the newsgroup and boards in the early 90s, but no one seems to recall it when I mention it now.  I had a VHS dupe of this show, with a badly printed jacket, that I had obtained at DragonCon 93' or so (I met Al Simmons, the real life namesake of Spawn and Jim Lee if that helps).  While I was cleaning house, I had accidentally given it with the rest of my VHS tapes to a courier named Roland who worked for us (who was later fired for popping positive for THC and I didn't know his last name, so I couldn't get it back). It was so bad so I wasn't really upset.  I just finished talking to my friend Gaines who I watched this with a bunch of times to just laugh and drink beer, so he managed to corroborate my memories and remind me of some other stuff.  Note that all of this is just his and my memory and may be off, and the stuff about the actors and background info is pure hearsay from whatever groups and boards I was on in that era.  Here is what I remember, if you guys can fill in the details or correct inaccuracies that would be fantastic.

ABC decided to exercise a clause in the Twin Peaks contract calling for their ability to produce up to 3 Twin Peaks related specials.  In the rush of awards show wins and high profile media exposure, they decided to greenlight a Holiday Special in hopes that they could capitalize on the buzz and the small town spirit of the show to maybe wind up with a perennial favorite.  It was to be shot on hiatus, but Lynch and Frost were not interested in working on it.  The execs focused on getting a cast to lure another writer and director associated with the show.

The cast were mostly uninterested in the blind pitch, except for Kimmie Robertson, who thought it would be fun as long as she could “do hair” and Joshua Harris who had just been cast to play Nicky Needleman in the next season and happened to be around when they were looking.  They felt they needed a bigger name to anchor the project and were surprised that Kyle MacLachlan said yes as long as he had final creative approval and a guarantee that the show would air.  MacLachlan had a well known issue with excessive use of human pineal gland extract around this time and the executives simply thought he needed the money (the fad for “organic” drugs was in full swing and HPGE was the priciest drug on the market at that time – Kyle was said to have an 80 donor equivalents per week habit, the highest ever recorded).

They were able to get one of the incoming writing staff (not sure which one) to agree to write it but it was apparently a “Stan Lee” job where the instruction to the story editor (a pre TNG Ronald Moore) was “that dwarf guy goes home for some reason.”  Moore, fresh off of a committed method writing exercise of 6 months living full emersion as a Klingon, decided on a “Pon Farr” scenario of the Little Man returning to his home planet to mate.  Gains remembers that Alan Smithee, who IMDB tells me has had quite a career, was named as director and they were ready to go.  

MacLachlan got heavily involved in the writing.  He and Lara Flynn Boyle had been living in a small shanty in the Salton Sea, and communications with them had become erratic.  Kyle said he had a “vision” as to how this might change the world, and fought Moore the entire time.  When the executives saw some of the pages and, realizing they could not cancel, gave the minimal budget contractually allowed and planned to bury the project.  Instead of at Christmas, it aired at 3 AM, Tuesday October 16th, 1991 with no promotion under a title that did not contain Twin Peaks (I thought it was something like “Trial of Bark,” but Gains swears it was “Our Emancipation.”).  No one saw this thing, but somehow I had that tape in all its cable acess-level production glory.

The story was basically a Christmas Carol.  There are no opening credits and the special starts with LMAP in the red room, when a large head (poorly superimposed with a blurring effect, weird computer imposed black hole for a mouth) tells him he must come back to “the planet Garmanbozia” (Lynch hated everything about this special and disavows it except for this name which he liked and kept for the movie) for the Tantaculus festival (MacLachlan’s suggestion, named after the “world system” he and Boyle were devising in the California desert) in order to mate.  The little man with resignation walks into the mouth and emerges in his house.  This is the only special effects and the only appearance of any of the normal settings of the actual show (all the summoned guests simply “walk on” from the side).  

There are birds on the soundtrack constantly and no music outside of musical numbers.  The house is like a modern Flintstones house (fake chrome everywhere, rust colored Formica table [no idea if this was an idea germ too], but uneven plaster painted ochre.  He sees his wife Brigite (Priscilla Barnes, who acts in a 3 foot cutout in the stage, and just disappears when she is not in a scene – you never see her leave or come back).  She is excited to mate, but he is clearly not and she disappears in a huff.  He says hi to his kids (Bob and Mike, no relation – played by sock puppets worked by a guy dressed in black), who are arguing over what seems to be a beef jerky.  He talks away from them about how he loves them but he doesn’t know if he can handle more.  Behind him appears an unnamed thin giant (Meadowlark Lemon in a part presumably written for Carel Struycken) who says he will show him the value of “whoople” with “three gifts” as the show cuts to commercial.  

The giant proceeds to bring in the three cameos, the first two of which have musical numbers.  Lucy comes in and gives LMAP a makeover and reminds him several times that he is “still sexy” before breaking into that Sinead O’Conner song (Emperor’s New Clothes, I think).  Locked camera shot, but the Lucy awkward dance stuff is fun. Commercial then Little Nicky comes in to remind him that his kids are still lovable and always a gift (more on this scene later) and he and the giant break into a Bossa nova-esque version of Blues from a Gun (the music is very dated and kind of inappropriate).  

Finally, for the last act, Dale shows up.  Most of his lines are gibberish (a lot about division and multiplication and, Zeno’s paradox perseverating), but he eventually gives LMAP a crushed velvet painting of a naked Log Lady (log held strategically).  The little man becomes alert and approaches the painting, rubbing its surface and making a yelping noise.  His wife appears and calls to him “Alf, come to me."  He walks backwards to the rear of the house.  The kids ask Coop if he wants some coffee and, in the one really interesting moment in the whole thing, Dale says “no thank you, if he makes coffee like he dances I’m likely to wind up with a mouth full of grounds.”  Strange sounds emanate from the back of the house (the only good foley work) and we end on a freeze frame of Coop giving a thumbs up and really fast credits.

My main, seared-in memories are the song numbers, the bad blocking and lack of positional continuity (Barnes’ hole), and a few specific oddities.  In the Nicky scene, Bob and Mike (who are always doing something competitive in the background) are bouncing a beach ball back and forth, playing the “don’t let it hit the ground” game (where someone tosses the ball so that other people will try to keep it in play by gently tapping it up – this is before I knew what meta was).   Now remember, it is one guy in a black mask obviously playing with himself but you can see the ceiling fan.  There is a tension that the ball is going to hit the fan, but it never does and they don’t do anything with this.  Meadowlark is wearing a Star Trek-ish uniform that is made out of potholder material. MacLachlan speaks with an intensity like he needs to convince the audience that without math the world will cease to exist, or something.  Lucy’s pre-Elaine funky dance is neat.

It is important to note that, in lieu of backward talking/shooting the scenes, everyone just inflects each syllable up with a tight jaw (they start to forget to do this pretty quickly except Barnes who is if anything a committed actress).  There's no way this thing is canon in any way - Lynch doesn't even answer questions about it (he responds with non-denial stuff like "I don't think Id've done that" and "sounds made up"), and it is really bad. It is tonally nothing like the show and any mythology SHOULDN'T COUNT! It is a fiasco. I can't find references Googling, but I think there has been a lot of self editing Wiki pages and legal action trying to scrub this thing from existence.

Any information, corrections, or links to where I could get this would be appreciated.

[norton-addiction]

About the play “Bug”, review of the Russian spectator

Original language of the text is Russian. Translation to English made by fan community “Norton-addiction”.

In this article you can read about the play “Bug” starring James Norton which took place in a tiny event hall Found111. 

James Norton and Kate Fleetwood, Bug performance

London, April 22, evening

Complete lack of sense of direction and total absence of the Internet (sure, addiction to it becomes critical) made me exit on Charing Cross station of any reason. The theater (pretty tiny studio) was located on Charing Cross street, abut the street is extremely expanded. When I realized how short time I had and how long would be my way no matter how – on foot or by the underground – I caught a cab, again. And I was in time (in 20 minutes before start) even though I hardly raced past an unnoticeable door at full steam.

I've never been in such a little theater in London. First, you should do a long climb upstairs to a theater bar. When you finally say to yourself “huh, now I can lead forward to the main hall” (there was an encouraging poster on the wall, something like “Nearly here!” on it) but you find out that you should walk up another couple of stairwells. And only after all of that stairs you get into the “Hall”. In quotes because it is a itty-bitty room with a low ceiling and tightly set mismatching chairs and benches round about the “platform”. It's very suitable for fans but not for those who want to get a perfect vision of a performance, so you'd better take your place as far as possible from the platform.

However suddenly I found myself too close to the platform. I stumbled into the bar and ordered a glass of wine at once, then found a place for myself near the broken grand piano and put a rose on it (yes, as you could remember, I wandered around the town with the rose all the time). The whole picture could be seen in a rather off-hand way but I didn't care a curse and set down to get dry. Faster than a flash in the pan a huge crowd of Norton's fans got into and made a thick checkout line in the enter of the hall. Those fans were pleasant but unshakeable english lineups always scare me: it is a perfect monumental formation which leaves no chance to anybody to bore way through the crowd.

For some unfathomable reason I found myself in the hall on the second row - smack up against the bedside table with plates and dishes, bottles and radio on it. This extemporary bar and space near it as it turned out was recruited into the performance. So I, with my rose, felt out of place there. Someone from the crowd catched sight of the rose even joked on me during the intermission: “Oh, lady did fundamental preparation!” I must have dumped Norton with NOT presenting him the rose. Sorry, James, the rose left for Moscow with me, after travel to Stratford and back. And no, I did not wait for James, who, by hearsay, simply hanging around the bar. Sorry, no photos of the prince's autograph there.

The performance

Do you know the feeling when you need some time to grow into the book, movie or show, but it seems a little bit strange and tough in the beginning? This little hall intensified such emotions in me. I even needed to make an effort to overcome the conventionality and get lost in the story. It gets on you nerves when actors over and over again runs up to your bedside table (every item in the 5 cm distance is automatically included in my private space) and then they do something with it. It would be a different matter when it was women (Kate Fleetwood was awesome!) but when beautiful, bare-chested James Norton runs up again and again too close to you... God bless me I'm not a real fan of him))

It is a very strong play established under all principles of good thriller with creepy, growing in pressure suspense and increasing degree of absurd which seems in common with McDonagh's plays (or maybe even Shakespeare's). In the tensest moments comic relief happens to be, and spectators nervously giggle and can't stand laughing in contradiction to puzzleheaded mess in front of them. And could it be that all good plays (plots, books, pictures and movies, and whatever) should have such a mad combination of humor and horror, as... as it appears in the real life?

Similar to McDonagh, it's difficult to review this performance without spoilers. In fact, even trying to translate ambiguous title will be a spoiler (so, our local content “Glitches” fits more or less). So if you haven't read the play or watched the American movie (pretty trashy, IMHO) yet, please, read the following text at your own risk.

With all James Norton's strong points and the key-role of his character, there is a woman in the center of the story. It's great because of the deep dipping into atmosphere of contemplation of the vulnerable paranoiac mind. All this vulnerability due to the desperate lust for love, and it makes all things more dreadful.

Entirely young woman, with marks of the stormy past and everydayness on her face, lives on borrowed time in abandoned motel. The bed, the “bar” (that same old bedside table closer to me), the kitchen, the radio and strategic reserves of all-type relaxants – that's all she needs. In the parlance of medicine, the girl is in state of chronic depression, but, of course, she doesn't know about it. She has unlucky marriage with domestic violence and lost son in her past, and now and there she has only a bottle, a cigarette, a bong, a line of cocaine, a single randy female friend, loneliness and fear.

All the facts which I've shoot out in the previous sentences, brings to the audience slowly and ropy like sticky flypaper. The ceiling will be all covered with such papers in the end of the narration. And for now... now the phone is ringing. Nobody answers on the other end of the line whatever and no matter how frightened Agnes shout into the phone handset. She thoughts she talks with her ex-husband. Speaking of, we won't know who was calling all that times.

And here, in all that very... unfortunately, common little world, Peter (Norton) appears. He is absurdly nice, prudish duffer. Many funny situations based on his clumsiness. He is literally disarmingly plainspoken guy: it's hard to resist such words as “I like you” told in the face (and lately “I could make love with you” - oh, who can resist it). So Agnes can not. And there they already crawls together on the flour in search for the invisible bugs (the first alarm signal was when “the bug” turned out to be a broken fire-safe). So there the mysterious stranger modestly stays overnight on the flour, which causes wave of adoration in the audience. And then, in the morning, he disappears. Instead of Peter Agnes meets her husband Jerry in the bathroom. The dreadful plot starts to spin around in thick and fast tempo.

Jerry. It was a hilariously funny scene of his second entrance which ends pretty scary as every scene in the play.

Peter lures Agnes into the mounting paranoia which begins from very innocent and funny searching for invisible bugs (“bug” as in the main title) in the bed after sex-scene, and then materializes into complete terrifying conspiracy theory in the end. The point is that by this time all that schizoid but consistent delirium is said by Agnes not Peter. Spiritual affinity and human warmth with at least someone near her are more important then real world for Agnes (“I'd better talk to you about bugs than stay silence alone by myself”).

It's painful to watch towards the end of the performance (and that's the difference between this play and McDonagh's ones) because the consistent delirium takes place in full of your view. It is unavoidable and unstoppable like a upcoming trucker. There is nothing left to help characters. McDonagh always leaves some penetrative tiny flash of hope, humanistic points in his works always sounds in high tone upon the most frightening low pitch. On the contrary, Tracy Letts drops to an all-time low of loathsome naturalism. Every more or less empathic person literally wants to close his eyes when after several attempts Peter in highly authentic manner takes out a tooth with pliers by himself (cause the capsule with bugs is hidden in it).

Norton in the dressing room. There are more and more "bites" of non-existing bugs toward the end until the whole body comes to an open wound.

One more difference from McDonagh's – Tracy hasn't such virtuosity ability to write when important sense appears ABOVE text absurd. He makes a request on global topics: Peter is not only unblest paranoid, he is a veteran of Gulf War. Reasonably it should add more tragic in the story, should make watchers thought over (and in one moment you are really think: “For God's sake, maybe he is right with all of his microscopes and rage assurance what he sees things that other people can't”. But Tracy fails in clearing this height as distinct from McDonagh and his The Pillowman and Hangmen.

Speaking through thoughts face to face – that's not how good text works (“There was a time when people though the safety exists, but not now. Today nobody can feel safe”).

Nevertheless the actors were brilliant and took everything they could from the play. They perfectly hold out a hysterical rising pitch with the help of great light and sound work. And once again... God damn, why have I set on the second row! I could see Norton's play only when he was in the other side of the platform; just he appeared near the bedside table, there was only his... waist in my eyesight))) Or I was in need to crane my neck but in this case it looked like I was starring at him face to face, and that was... spooky.

The murder happens in all-сovered in foil paper room. The expected end takes place – main heroes suicide with “I love you” phrase on their lips. But there is no catharsis, only relief that you can finally run out from this self-absorbed world of despair, loneliness and – bugs.

 * * *

... And the more beautiful contrast was on the curtain call when stage staff put bathrobes on half-naked and wet head-to-toe Kate and James, and they “came” on bend (they didn't went away in fact). I swear I've never seen such look of pleasure on the actor's face during the bend, never! Norton truly beaming, he squinted, and even my cheeks tired from toothy smile. It seems if he had a tail that tail would fawn upon in the fullness of his happiness. Kate was smiling too, but it was a sheepish smile, while James... oh, he has such a great charisma I know what his fans feels like!

 This photo provides guidance on what they look like during curtain calls.

And one for the road: lunch break on the roof of Found111 — so cute))

For finding photos thanks goes to blog: norton-addiction.tumblr.com

The End.

Original text in Russian: http://www.dtbooks.net/2016/04/shakespearlives_28.html