#like we like a lot of the same bands but for wildly different reasons

[extraordinaryhistories]

#21 - 'Woman at the Well' (non-album track, 2000)

Beware, traveller: here we enter the most uncharted territories of Sufjan’s catalogue. All sorts of terror in these parts. But all sorts of beauty, too.

Sufjan Stevens’ output, when fully collated, is just staggering. To think that he by all accounts leaves the overwhelming majority of his songs unreleased. By my count, he has upwards of 300 released tracks across all sorts of albums, collaborations, soundtracks and modern classical cycles. He is so prolific that you can stratify his output into multiple, accessibility-based tiers:

Tier One: the heavyweight albums. Illinois, Carrie and Lowell, Age of Adz and Javelin, plus ‘Mystery of Love’ and ‘Visions of Gideon’.

Tier Two: the other mainline albums ­– Michigan, Seven Swans, The Ascension and A Beginner’s Mind, plus All Delighted People.

Tier Three: the most obscure full-length albums and collaborations. A Sun Came, Planetarium, the Sisyphus project, Aporia, Convocations and similar material.

Tier Four: where we start to get deep under the surface. His Christmas material goes here, as do projects like The Decalogue, Reflections and The BQE. Some of his one-off track collaborations, like Moses Sumney’s ‘Make Out in My Car’, are here too. Things that you can probably find on streaming, but that only the most dedicated of fans would care about.

Tier Five: the bottom of the trench. These are songs that many of those most dedicated fans will have never heard unless they are in way too deep. Piecemeal inclusions on no-name compilations, surprise Tumblr releases of demos made twenty years prior, one-off live songs like ‘Wild Horses’. The Wild West of Sufjanilia, where oddities abound.

There are few artists for which anybody could say this: Tier Five contains some of Sufjan’s absolute finest material. Without a shadow of a doubt.

This is especially the case in the very early days. I get the impression that we have only seen a miniscule fraction of the music that Sufjan wrote from the mid 1990s up through Michigan – this was a feverishly experimental period for him, catalogued in all its scattershot glory on A Sun Came but extending its reach far beyond that album. It seems that Sufjan made enough connections and was subject to enough blog-centred hype around the turn of the millennium to get featured on a swathe of multi-artist compilations, as well as other obscure releases. These are remarkably hard to track down these days, but enough internet scouring will lead you to an underbelly of Sufjan’s catalogue that most people don’t even know exists. Thus we get a series of isolated songs, many of which are barely above demo quality, scattered across CDs and mp3s and placed next to artists who have never been heard from since.

B-sides and non-album tracks of artists quite often have that status for a reason. Most artists have the same recording method: enter the studio, build up a series of tracks from loose ideas, select the cream of the crop for the album release, and discard of the chaff. Some of that chaff will be saved for bonus tracks, b-sides to physical releases, or ‘outtakes’ on deluxe editions released decades from now – filler that will appeal to big fans and few others. There is a very strong correlation between distance from the main release and a lack of quality, is my point here. This is the case for the majority of acts. There is a reason that most people don’t consider there to be many exquisite Beatles outtakes, for instance – likewise for Pink Floyd, or The Smiths, or the bulk of other classic bands.

For Sufjan, however, the recording method has always been different. Sufjan is fiercely varied and fiercely focused at the same time – his albums differ wildly in style, but each individual project coalesces around a very particular sound. And because he so insistently curates his albums, nothing on them feels out of place stylistically.

As with other artists, there are a lot of Sufjan songs that don’t make the big leagues. What makes them different is this: their exclusion would have been based less on quality and more on style. Sufjan was just relentless around the period following A Sun Came, and it shows – for every one song that found its way onto a compilation or Tumblr drop, we must imagine ten that didn’t, forever confined to a dusty four-track in a closet or a file on some buried hard drive. He eventually settled on the creative direction of Enjoy Your Rabbit, but this did not stop him writing a plethora of folk, rock and electronic music around this time too, and these songs show the rapidly maturing songwriting of a genius in the making. There are some truly astonishing songs in this creative nether region – they are not quite as mature as the ones that would be found on Michigan, but they are approaching that point with an unstoppable inertia.

And so we go to ‘Woman at the Well’, an unassuming classic of early Sufjan and a song in which we can see clear progression from the A Sun Came days. The steps forward in sophistication are palpable here – ‘Woman at the Well’ is many things that A Sun Came’s songs are not. It is well-recorded, for starters; we are not yet at the hi-fi perfection of Illinois, but there is none of that cassette-derived background noise that dominates the softer songs on Sufjan’s debut. The acoustic guitar sparkles, the drums (lightly) punch, the vocals feel immediate and alive, and all of it comes together to make a song of relieving clarity, like stepping out of a log cabin and getting a breath of the mountain air.

The whole song feels that way, in fact. This one is easy, expansive, effortless, three terms that do not apply to much of A Sun Came. We can put this partially at the feet of the arrangement, which strikes a comfortable balance between layered and intimate: guitars and banjo are supplemented by a cosy array of instruments, among them glockenspiel, organ, drums and recorder, all Sufjan staples that hadn’t been applied with this sort of subtlety up to this point. This is a strum-heavy singer-songwriter tune at its heart; a maturing Sufjan understands this, and uses the additional instruments not to overwhelm the song but to make it richer. Compare with a song like ‘Wordsworth’s Ridge’, where the various elements seem to fight for attention in the arrangement. ‘Woman at the Well’ has a similar palette, but the individual instruments mesh together in service of the chord progression – many components, one machine. How refreshing.

‘Woman at the Well’ bucks trends in nearly every sense but lyrically. This is still an early Sufjan song, and its lyrics are very typical of early Sufjan in that they are unambiguously Christian in sentiment. The song provides a poetic account of an event that transpires in John, in which Jesus encounters and converses with a Samaritan woman. Samaritans and Jews, per tradition, met each other with hostility; the power of the story lies in how Jesus offers redemption to a woman that many other Jews would spurn (a common theme in the Gospels, with echoes in other anecdotes and parables.)

Many great artists, especially during the Italian Renaissance, took artistic inspiration from the story of the Samaritan woman. Sufjan does so too in ‘Woman at the Well’, but in a typically wry manner. Sufjan seems fascinated particularly with the image given in John 4 of Jesus as a giver of living water:

‘those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty. The water that I will give will become in them a spring of water gushing up to eternal life’ (John 4:14).

Thus the lines in the second verse about how ‘she supposes he is wet / She was a fountain then’, the message being that Jesus’ eternal capacity for salvation and grace invigorates all those who love him. He is a fountain, so she is a fountain, and she overflows now with goodness. It feels as if this continues the shift in Sufjan’s religious songwriting that we first see in ‘Joy! Joy! Joy!’, and in a lot of the other flotsam recorded between A Sun Came and Michigan. Very early songs like ‘We Are What You Say’ features God as a terror, in the wrathful, apocalyptic Old Testament sense. Here we see a more inviting New Testament sense of God that focuses on love and salvation, just as Jesus preached. There is a hint of Yahweh in the chorus (‘In fire, in fire, down to the last liar’, a very Revelations image), but ‘Woman at the Well’ is otherwise a song of Jesus through and through.

A song of Jesus in a quirky way, though. Sufjan can’t help himself. The Samaritan woman is described in this song not as a fountain but as a ‘fountain pen’ for the majority of its sections. What significance? Little, or everything, depending on your point of view. This is likely just a piece of free-associative wordplay that has the additional effect of making the song’s rhymes less laboured, but I could imagine how Sufjan might enjoy the connotations of ‘fountain pen’. Fountain pens are sophisticated devices; they are refined vehicles of creation out of which culture pours. The quality of Jesus as a refiner of the soul is central to Christian dogma (albeit expressed differently), and may be central to this song too. We have all heard the ‘is this Sufjan song Christian or gay?’ joke in the past (the answer is always both), but for pre-Michigan lyrics, we can just as easily ask ‘is this line complex or just there because it rhymes nice?’

A piece on ‘Woman at the Well’ wouldn’t be complete without at least mentioning the melody. It’s a beautiful one, and it’s notable insofar as it feels like the Sufjan we know and love, down to its smallest rhythms and intervals. Even the best stuff on A Sun Came, like ‘Happy Birthday’, feels a bit like the Sufjan Stevens of an uncanny valley that lies somewhere between Illinois and Either/Or. Not so here. The contour of the main ‘she was a fountain pen’ motif is absolutely classic Sufjan, the ‘pen’ (the 2nd of the scale) lending it a perfect wistfulness that suggests the relative minor. There is still a loose adherence to pentatonic major here, but like so many of the best Sufjan songs, the melodic quality of ‘Woman at the Well’ is that sort of forward-looking happiness mixed with occasional glances over one’s shoulder at the life you’ll never return to. That right there is precisely the reason I started a project like this. Nobody else is capable of such balance. Nobody.

And it’s the reason why we dredge through this early, dusty stuff at all. For many artists it would not be worth it. But for Sufjan, all the same magic and majesty that you’ll find in his mainline releases can be found (on occasion) here. Sometimes it might even be exactly the same magic. Listen to the section of ‘Woman at the Well’ that immediately follows the first chorus (starting with ‘he has her hand...’). If the melody there sounds familiar, that’s because it is. A few years later, Sufjan would repurpose that melody for one of his first true masterpieces, a song about new VCRs and long car trips and taking one last glimpse at your mother knowing that next time you see her she might be an entirely different person. Here it is, the best melody in all of ‘Romulus’, just sitting there on a no-name compilation throwaway that nobody with a safe grip on their mental health has ever heard, years before Michigan was even dreamt of.

That, to a Sufjan tragic like me, is really fucking cool.

[vechter]

like a legitimate ask because I'm tasteless when it comes to media, why do you think so many fans read comics and then come away with the wrong impressions/understandings of the character?

hi anon

this is actually really interesting to consider because i don't think there's one overarching reason.

the thing with comics is we have decades and decades worth of content so even the canonical depictions of characters vary so much because no two writers approach a character in the same way, not to mention editorial complexities. like, take dick grayson for example. the way he's written by dixon is very different from the way he's written by, say, tomasi or morrison. and that can be confusing because if even the actual writers aren't always in agreement or sync over their portrayals, it's a hard ask to expect readers to do so.

at the same time, a lot of modern comic writing has been a victim of fan service. it's possible that when writers saw how much readers enjoyed moments of genuine connection between two characters, they overcompensated and made that an overarching theme and recurring thing. maybe they didn't account for the fact that the reason such moments (like the bats working together in batman: murderer/fugitive) were so special wasn't necessarily because of how rare they were, but because those moments felt authentic to the characters and their personal motivations. like, ofc they would band together to help bruce out even if he is so insistent on pushing them away! the rarity of such events definitely added to the appeal but it was very much not the only reason that it resonated so deeply with readers.

this is not to say that you cannot ascertain what exactly drives a character forward and their motivations, despite contradicting evidence. like, when you consider something like nightwing '96 annual 2, i think pretty much most, if not all, batman&co comic readers knew it was a wildly out of character thing and disregarded it completely from canon. so, there is a line, even if it is slightly nebulous.

and i think often, some fans are not able to engage with some media in a nuanced and critical way. some people want their character to have done no wrong, have no flaws or moments dictated by those flaws; they want everybody else to be subservient to what their understanding of said character is. a bit like tunnel vision. there's also, often a degree of projection on to the characters- i don't think anyone is immune to that- but it is possible to take a step back and examine whether it's your personal desires pushing a character forth or your lens of a character's innermost motivations driving them.

plus, dc keeps retconning and rebooting things lmao. characters often come back from the dead, origin stories are re-purposed, fattened and served- it often feels like there are no real stakes in the comic world.

idk this is becoming very rambly, but i do think it is possible to understand the core driving forces of a character even if there is a variety of source material. but at the same time, no character is just that or just one thing- there should be room to add and subtract (thinking about angry!robin portrayals here). it's just a little bit of hard work and for a lot of people, reading comics is a form of escapism or something of a light hobby, so i can understand and excuse that not everybody will always want to do it.

[goshdangronpa]

Sayaka Maizono!!

Hi, anon! I'm so glad someone asked about her, she's always fun to think about. A character you can really play around with in different contexts and interpretations. It's weird that I haven't written a story about her yet.

Sexuality Headcanon: Sayaka is straight-up gay. I saw that one bit from Danganronpa S, they're no way she could like Makoto as more than a friend!

Gender Headcanon: Cis, but the type who's actually thought a lot about gender rather than passively assuming that vagina = girl. I believe she'd support a transfem idol ... so long as she remains the Ultimate.

A ship I have with said character: I recently wrote about a couple of reasons why I find ikuzono so appealing! It can be a real mutually healing relationship, with two people who've hurt and been hurt finding solace and sympathy and redemption in each other. It can also be a relationship where they bury bodies together. I've also read a truly great (and tragically incomplete) series that anyone who likes Sayaka, Mukuro, and good writing in general should check out: Sing Me a Song of Despair!

A BROTP I have with said character: Sayaka's goal is to be an inspiration for girls and women. All girls and women. As a transfem Chihiro supporter, I quite enjoy the idea of this embodiment of femininity helping Chihiro reconcile some of her gender hang-ups. Women with strength don't have to be ripped like Sakura, athletic like Aoi, or scary like Genocide Jack. They can be beautiful, sweet, girly, confident, and determined like Sayaka. I think her support would really shake Chihiro's worldview ... though Sayaka might still agree with her that it's a dog-eat-dog world out there.

A NOTP I have with said character: Sayaka is virtually the only female Danganronpa student I wouldn't ship with Ibuki, mostly because I'm really committed to a rather detailed sayabuki arc that ends in turmoil. Two teen girls hit the big time at the same time, and their managers get the bright idea of pairing their acts in a summer package tour. As they travel across the country and work hard to one-up each other's performances, they show each other the weirder sides of themselves that the public doesn't get to see. They bond over a mutual passion for music ... and, one night, discover a mutual passion for girls. It doesn't take long for them to start exploring their sexuality together, snatching kisses and cuddles in the rare moments when they can evade their bandmates and entourages. Ibuki lets herself fall wildly in love ... but Sayaka's keenly aware that the tour will end. One night, after sneaking onto the roof of a supermarket after hours to have a truly private moment and watch the stars, Sayaka asks, "You know this won't last ... right?" She lays it out: idols aren't allowed to date anybody, much less someone of the same sex, and she won't compromise her career or her dream over a little summer affair. Ibuki’s devastated. It proves to be the last push she needs to drop her own pretenses and be her true, freaky self, ultimately splitting the band and creating the rock iconoclast we know and love. Sayaka would still think about her sometimes, even listen to her new singles when few former fans would, wonder if that girl was right that prioritizing her career over her relationships may bring success but not fulfillment ... She doesn't regret anything.

A random headcanon: Sayaka didn't accept the invitation to Hope's Peak immediately because she feared it would eat up precious time in a career that's already expected to end in her late 20s at most. She eventually accepted for precisely that reason: that Ultimate status will open doors long after the industry stops seeing her as youthful enough to sing on stage.

General Opinion over said character: I'm of two minds, and both are extremely positive. 1) How can anyone possibly dismiss Sayaka as a loathesome snake when the entire goddamn point of that first murder trial is that the killing game, one of the most stressful and extreme situations a human being and especially a literal kid could ever face, could compel even an otherwise kind person to commit murder? You don't have to like her for her attempt at murdering Leon and framing Makoto, but if you don't buy that Sayaka was ever a nice person, I reckon you've missed the point of Danganronpa. 2) Sayaka has a devious and coldly pragmatic side ... and that's fun. I like the idea that she's generally kind and sweet, but a bit of a sneaky bitch when she really wants something or really doesn't care for someone. In a non-despair AU, this would be ripe for drama and especially comedy! Let her be little a snake, as a treat🐍

[thelampisaflashlight]

The Hotel Saturn Pt 1: Welcome

[Welcome to The Hotel Saturn, make yourself comfortable, you might just want to stay forever. Selen just wanted a break from the road.] Below the cut.

Taking in the sights and sounds, and, indeed, smells, of The Hotel Saturn, Selen cannot help but think coming here was a mistake.

The place looks like it hasn't been updated since the 1960's, vintage stains included, and reeks of old, wet tobacco and some kind of generic Lysol-like cleaner.

"Not too late to say fuck it and sleep in the van..." she mumbles under her breath, cringing slightly as the aggressively turquoise -Maybe teal? Cheryl is the one who can tell the difference, it's all just green or blue to her.- crunches under her boots.

Disgusted, Selen glances around the room, looking for her bandmates, but, much to her disappointment, all of them have abandoned waiting in line to be seen at the front desk -and her- in favor of milling about the lobby.

Cheryl, carrying around her fluffy, pink half jacket in her arms, heart-shaped sunglasses perched on the top of her head, is admiring some of the art hanging on the walls, which Selen has to admit is rather lovely... if not a bit macabre.

Aaron, holding half the band's bags and looking quite calm about it, is stood near the front door, looking outside at the virtually empty parking lot, eyes fixed on... something. It's hard to tell from a distance what he's looking, if he's looking at anything at all.

Clair, sat on a strangely patterned couch -Selen thinks it's called... paisley?- is scrolling through his phone, looking tense, and beside him, no doubt the reason for his unease, is Lukas.

Lukas...

Yeah, Selen would rather not look at him right now, or ever quite frankly, so whatever he's doing, she doesn't give a damn, but given Clair's expression, he's probably talking his ear off about something.

Honestly, she isn't even sure why Lukas is here.

This trip was just supposed to be the four of them, and then...

"He's my sister's fiancé's younger brother, they pretty much bullied me into letting him come." Clair had explained, annoyed, but giving a shrug, "He's studying audio engineering or something, I dunno."

"Do we really want some rando with us in the van for the next, like, month?" Cheryl had questioned, "I dunno about you boys, but I'm not exactly comfortable with that. Like, what's he even going to do?"

"He's not a complete stranger, Cherie, he's my future brother-in-law's brother, and, besides, he already knows Selen." Clair pointed out, gesturing towards her, "They went to the same college, they even had classes together, isn't that right?"

"I-"

Selen shakes her head, bringing herself back to the present, curling her hands into tiny fists in her pockets, the bite of her nails into her palm keeping her grounded.

It's no use in reflecting on that conversation or dwelling on the past in general, but...

She looks over at Lukas again.

His attention is still directed towards Clair, who just seems to be nodding along to whatever Lukas is saying, his gaze remaining glued to his phone.

Returning to watching the line, Selen can now see a man in a burgundy track suit with prominent dark circles under his eyes discussing something rather quickly with the person working the front desk, gesturing back and forth between himself and the group of people clustered around him.

Beside the man stands another, much taller, beefier looking man who seems to be explaining things as the shorter gesticulates wildly.

Before too long, the front desk worker grabs a series of keys off of a rack hanging behind them and drops them onto the counter, turning away from both of them to type something into their computer, ignoring the boisterous man and his... bodyguard?

Selen gives the crowd time to disperse slightly before approaching the desk, finding that the counter itself comes up to her chest.

It had seemed so much shorter with the two men standing in front of it...

Her head barely pokes over the back of the computer monitor, and Selen finds she has to stand on her toes to be seen, almost startling the front desk worker out of their seat.

"Sorry." she apologizes quickly, a bit red in the face from embarrassment, "Um..."

The worker sighs and places a hand on their chest.

"It's fine." they say, sounding tired.

Selen tries not to take it personally, especially seeing what they've just had to deal with.

"Welcome to the Hotel Saturn, how may I be of service this afternoon?" they ask, rolling back slightly in their chair to get a better angle on Selen.

"Ah, yes, um... My friends and I would like to..." she briefly struggles to find the word she wants to use, "...rent a couple rooms if at all possible?"

"How many rooms will be needed?" the worker asks.

"There's five of us so... three would be ideal."

"And how long will you be staying with us?"

Selen thinks for a moment.

They have to head to their next show the day after tomorrow, but she's not quite sure how... how this is supposed to work in all honesty.

Do you rent the room for the morning and evening separately?

Would it count as two days and two nights?

"Um..." Selen counts on her fingers, "Well... we, we would like to stay tonight, tomorrow, and the morning of the day after so... um..."

The worker smiles, trying to appear reassuring, but in the back of Selen's mind it only shows her that she's royally flubbing this interaction.

"We can arrange that, yes." they say, checking their computer again, frowning, "Ah... Unfortunately it seems we only have one room currently available, but it does have two double beds and a sofa, would that work?"

"Well..." Selen considers the sleeping arrangements for a moment, so long as Aaron and Clair share one bed, and her and Cheryl get the other, Lukas can sleep on the couch so... "That sounds fine."

"Alright then, I just need you to fill out some paperwork-"

"I am NOT sleeping on the couch." Lukas whines almost immediately upon hearing Selen's proposed set-up, "I already had to sleep sitting up in the passenger seat of the van, I deserve to sleep in a real bed!"

"We've all been sleeping in the van." Cheryl points out, rolling her eyes.

"Guys, I'll sleep on the couch, Lukas can share with Aaron." Clair says, taking the room key from Selen.

"I don't want to share a bed with a guy either." Lukas huffs, then smirks, looking at Selen and Cheryl, "Maybe one of you lovely la-"

"Clair, tell your stupid ass soon to be bitch-in-law that if he even thinks about crawling into my bed at night, I'm going to neuter him on the spot." Cheryl threatens.

"Can we not fight about this in the middle of a hallwa-" Clair starts, but gets cut off by Aaron slipping the key out of his hand and handing it back to Selen, who stares up at him in confusion.

"Cheryl and Selen should get their own bed, Clair and Lukas, you two can either man up and share the other one or one of you can sleep on the couch." he says, sounding rather bored by their antics, "I'm going to sleep outside in the van, keep an eye on our equipment. I know we're out in the middle of nowhere, but that's even more reason to be cautious."

"Aaron, you really don't have to sleep in the van, man, I could..." Clair trails off, then smiles suddenly, "Thanks, man."

"No problem." Aaron waves him off dismissively, then crouches down slightly to whisper in Selen's ear, "...There's enough room in the back if you decide to say fuck it and sleep in the van, too."

Selen shivers.

"D-Don't stay up too late." she stammers.

"No worries, girlie, I won't." he hums, standing back up straight, rolling his shoulders, "Right, you guys get settled, I'm gonna see what this place has to offer in terms of recreation, seeing as we're going to be here for a little while, might as well make use of that time wisely..."

.

.

.

"This room smells funky." Aeon hums nervously, looking down at the tacky yellow carpeting, "Like the cigarettes Swiss smokes..."

"So weed?" Dew snorts, going through his duffle bag, "Yeah, yeah, that and, mn..."

Dew sniffs.

"Dryer lint."

"That has a smell??" Aeon chirps, going over to the window to look outside, "They have a tennis court and... oh, a pool house! We could go swimming!"

"It's probably not super well maintained, and I don't think we'll have much time to play around..." Dew points out, "This is work, even if it feels like a vacation."

"Oh..." Aeon frowns, "R-Remind me what we're supposed to... supposed to do again?"

Dew takes a pouch out of his bag and tosses it to Aeon, who scrambles to catch it.

"You, my young friend, are going to go take pictures of the hotel, and be casual about it so staff doesn't get suspicious and think we're casing the joint...." the older ghoul pulls out a notebook, a roll of tape, and a pen from his bag and throws them onto Aeon's bed, "Take notes, write down anything suspicious you see, tape the pictures into the notebook-"

"Couldn't we just use a digital camera or, like, our phones for this...?" Aeon questions, examining the polaroid camera in his hands, "Why are we going... retro?"

"Physical evidence is more reliable than digital when it comes to capturing these fuckers." Dew says, "Besides, fits the aesthetic."

Aeon fiddles with the camera, holding it up facing Dew, "Cheese?"

Dew smirks, wincing slightly as the flash goes off.

Zzzt...

Fwip.

Aeon waits for the photo to develop, eyes going wide when he looks at it, "Dew, there's-!"

"A weird aura around me, right?" He says, motioning outward, "The camera has a mild enchantment on it, so the lens can 'see' what we can't see with the naked eye... only flaw is that it still needs regular film, so don't just point and shoot at anything."

"What should I take photos of?" Aeon asks, flipping the camera around to take a picture of himself, curious about what his aura looks like.

Zzzt...

Fwip.

"Try to get wide shots of the rooms you pass through, hallways, both ends, and any mirrors that are facing each other, or a doorway."

"Why?"

"Mirrors can act as portals for spirits and other entities to pass through." Dew explains, "Even you could probably do it with some practice, but you'd have to ask Aether about how to do it since it's a quintessence thing."

"Oh." Aeon looks at his photo, "...Is this normal?"

"Show me."

Aeon hands the picture over to Dew, who purses his lips.

"I'm afraid there's something awful in this photo."

"Oh no!" Aeon squirms, "What is it??"

"A dorky little kit."

"Hey!"

After receiving further instructions from Dew, Aeon sets off to explore the hotel. Despite his teasing, the older fire ghoul really is a good teacher and a surprisingly caring mentor in general, even if he could come off a bit snarky at times.

"You have big shoes to fill." He'd told him backstage before his first show, hands firmly on Aeon's shoulders, "Aeth is a fan favorite and you're coming out in the wake of his retirement, so the crowd is going to be rough. It's always hard, but when you're the new guy... it's worse. Don't let the crowd win, give it your all and make the stage your bitch!"

It was Dew's confidence in him early on that let him feel a little less awkward in general.

He's kind of like an older brother in a way, which is why it doesn't feel like too much of a stretch to pretend like he is for the sake of their mission.

"As far as the staff is concerned, we're having a family reunion." Papa had explained as they arrived at the hotel, having all arrived in groups of two to four, spaced out over the course of several hours to make it seem more legitimate that they were all coming from different places instead of coming directly from the abbey together.

"Our goal is to document any and all supernatural happenings at the hotel and, with any luck, find and eliminate the cause should anything... demonic... be lurking within these walls."

"Aren't we demonic things lurking within these walls then?" Aurora had asked, sparing Aeon the embarrassment of asking himself, "Like... aren't we for demons?"

"This is different." Aether chimed in, standing beside Papa, "The entities we are hunting were summoned through unsanctioned rituals and blood pacts, and mean to do harm to the living, ourselves included, as well as bring harm to whatever spirits might be trapped here on the surface."

"More often than not, these creatures seek to create disorder and chaos, but they do not do it to further the dark lord's ideals or to bring forth Hell on Earth, they do so for selfish means and to grow in power in hopes of overtaking the throne."

"...And we have to do this... why?" Aeon had finally asked, looking at the gathered ghouls nervously, "Like, why us specifically?"

"Ghouls are more durable than humans." Aether answered plainly, "If we sent the siblings to deal with possible infestations, the mortality rate would skyrocket, and, crucially, most humans cannot see the things we can. The only exception being psychics or seers, or those granted 'sight' by incantations or prayer."

"I don't know if I'm qualified for this..." Aeon mumbles, back in the present, the camera hanging around his neck bouncing slightly against his chest as he makes his way downstairs and into the lobby again.

He'd taken a picture of the space from above, but something in the corner caught his eye even before the photo fully developed.

Two women, one very tall and dressed in an outfit that Aeon can only describe as "Barbie-esque" -very pink would be another way to put it, but the first thought he had upon seeing it was "Ah, like Barbie."- with a short, brown buzzcut, and another, far shorter one, dressed almost entirely in black, save for the purple sunglasses she's wearing and the bright white boots on her feet, stand admiring a series of framed pictures on the wall.

At first, he hadn't noticed anything off about the pair, but something about the shorter of the two, the thin bubble around her in the polaroid...

Aeon finds himself heading down the staircase before his mind can really process if it's a good idea to approach the two or not.

"This one, the smaller piece here, is a replica of Femmes au jardin, Women in the garden, by Claude Monet, with some creative liberties taken..." the taller says, "And- Oh, hello."

Aeon stumbles over his feet, catching himself on the back of the ornate chair in front of him, "H-Hello, um, I couldn't help but overhear... uh... I..."

"Are you interested in the paintings here, too?" she asks, saving him from his own tongue, "They're impressive, no?"

Aeon nods.

"I... I wasn't sure, or rather, how... how can you tell they're not original works?" he asks, trying to make conversation.

"For some of them it's obvious, you wouldn't find, say this one here." She extends a finger towards a framed painting beside the one they're currently viewing, "This is a carefully painted copy of the Spanish painter Francisco Goya's painting known as, El Perro, The Dog. It's one of fourteen paintings known as The Black Paintings that Goya painted directly onto the walls of his home., hence why this is obviously a replica."

Aeon takes in the image, it seems rather simple, and yet...

"The dog seems so sad..."

"People have debated over the meaning, it really depends on how you view the dog's role in the piece, though none of them are particularly happy... I was just saying it seemed an odd choice for the lobby of a hotel, but I guess it's a matter of taste." she shrugs, then turns to him with a smile, "Almost forgot to introduce myself, Cheryl."

She offers him her hand.

"A-Aeon." he says, shaking her hand, "And your friend?"

The smaller woman hasn't said a thing or acknowledged him since he approached them initially, seemingly lost in the artwork before her.

"Ah, this is Selen, she's acting like she's interested, but she actually finds this sort of talk very boring, don't you?" Cheryl teases, pinching the other's cheek.

"I-I don't... I just don't understand all of the fancy words you wind up using!" Selen pouts, her speech a bit slurred by Cheryl's grip on her face, "...But I do know what I like, and I can't say I enjoy these... hoity-toity pieces, they're too fancy or have weirdly grim meanings..."

Cheryl sighs, letting go of her friend's face, then glances down at the camera around Aeon's neck.

"A bit of a shutterbug?" she asks, and Aeon startles a bit.

"Oh, um, not really, my... my brother handed me this and told me to take pictures of the hotel." he says, holding up the camera, then whispers, "...I think that may have just been an excuse to get me to leave him alone now that I think about it."

Cheryl laughs.

"So, family trip?"

He nods.

"I saw him come in with that big group earlier." Selen says, side-eyeing him.

"A-Ah, yeah, that's my family haha... The Saturn was where my grandparents met, so it's, I guess our Pa-" Aeon coughs, "Our dad wanted to come here since Gramps passed recently."

"Aw..." Cheryl pats his shoulder.

"And you? What brought you here?"

Selen turns and points at a lanky man in a polo shirt with the collar flipped up.

"That douchey looking guy over there."

"Selen, be nice..."

Aeon bites his tongue.

He... the guy does look kind of... kind of...

"A-Ah."

"Ignore Selen." Cheryl says, giving Selen a look before the shorter shrugs and walks off to look at a different painting over on the opposite wall, "We're on a road trip, kind of. We're checking out hotels in on the way to some venues, see which ones are the best bang for our buck, ya know? But so far we've just wound up sleeping in the car."

"Venues... Oh, um, are you seeing a band perform?" he asks, tilting his head curiously.

Cheryl shrugs, "Mn, kind of."

Kind of.

Huh.

"T-That's neat, um, so I..." Aeon taps his fingers on the camera anxiously, "Uhh..."

"Aeon!"

Oh thank fuck.

Swiss bounces over to his side and swings an arm around his shoulders.

"Pops wants us to meet up at the tennis court in an hour, get a photo for Grandma." he says, giving him a squeeze before letting him go, "So get a move on, yeah, kid?"

Aeon flushes.

"Y-Yeah, sure."

Swiss ruffles his hair and heads off, saying something about going to find Rain.

"Is that the brother you mentioned?" Cheryl asks, lowering her sunglasses to peek over at Swiss' retreating figure.

"H-He's one of my brothers, but not the one who gave me the camera." Aeon says, "I... I should get a move on, haha..."

"You do that. It was nice meeting you, Aeon, hopefully we get a chance to talk again before the end of our stays here, and if we do..." Cheryl says, then, eyeing Swiss once more before he full disappears around the corner, "Bring your brother."

Aeon can't leave quick enough.

.

.

.

"That guy was weird." Selen whispers, hanging off of Cheryl's arm nervously, "Did you see his camera? What if he was taking pictures of us before he came down the stairs?"

"I mean it's possible, but he seems like he's on the level. Some people are just awkward like that..." Cheryl says, "Even you have trouble striking up conversations with strangers unless the other person initiates it first."

"Mn, but..."

Cheryl pokes Selen in the forehead with one of her long, pink acrylic fingernails.

"Ow! Cheryl..."

"You have to admit he was kind of cute though." Cheryl hums, "And his brother-"

Selen furrows her brow and frowns.

"He was not..."

"Not your type?"

"It's..." she shakes her head, "He's not cute at all."

"What?? He's adorable."

"Nope."

"Not even a little?"

Selen pouts.

"Haahh... I still have no idea what your type is, your bestie should know these things, you know! I mean, you know MY type!" Cheryl cries.

"Because your 'type' changes depending on who's ass you saw most recently-"

Cheryl gasps in mock surprise.

"That's so-" she pauses to watch a passing staff member walk by, "-true, but don't read me like that in public, Muffins, or everyone will know. Still... if you told me what you like, I could set you up with someone~?"

"I'm not interested in dating." Selen adjusts her sleeves.

"Doesn't have to be anything long term, if you're just looking to get laid-"

"Cheryl!" Selen flusters, "You can't just say that so casually!"

"What? People hook up all the time and it doesn't have to mean anything." Cheryl says, reaching into her pocket for her phone, "I bet if I checked one of the dating apps I have on here right now, this place would be absolutely full of people looking to bang-"

"Don't..." Selen groans, burying her face in her hands.

"Oh, wow, even the tips of your ears are red." Cheryl coos, "You're so shy about this stuff, but didn't Aaron invite you back to the van later tonight?"

"Cheryl..."

"Oh don't be so coy, I saw what you put in your bag before we left the apartment, and I'm fine with whatever you two have going on so long as it doesn't impact the band or our friendship, yeah?"

Cheryl holds out her pinkie, "Promise me it won't?"

Selen blows a stray hair out of her face and links her finger with Cheryl's.

"So is he going to carry you back to the room after he blows your back out or should I not expect to see you until breakfast-"

"Ch-...I wonder if they have pancakes..."

"Noted."

[daughter-of-melpomene]

𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗦𝗢 𝗣𝗟𝗢𝗧 𝗕𝗨𝗡𝗡𝗜𝗘𝗦

Now, because I’ve kept forgetting to make this post after I posted about by Narnia babies (and because I said I was going to make it yesterday in order to piss off our new little basically-anon friend and I am nothing if not committed to spiting assholes), I present to you all my three new Ted Lasso OCs who will be joining my boy Will Welton! Unlike Will, these three lovelies are part of an entirely different fic (if I ever actually write it, that is), and this is the first time I’ve had more than one OC in the same story, so I’m really excited to share them with you guys!! Their official intro posts might not be up for a little bit, but feel free to ask me questions about them!!

MELLY LOVELACE:

— Sam ship.

— The name on her birth certificate is Amelia Euphemia, but no one but her mother is allowed to call her that and anyone else will get a good sock in the teeth if they try it.

— Member of a girl group called Electra Hearts, along with her roommates and besties Ji and Day (the other OC babies). They’re a group that sings covers, usually taking gigs at dingy pubs and clubs when they can get them, and taking a bunch of little part-time jobs to cover the rest of their bills.

— Childhood friends and sweethearts with Jamie, but he dumped her once he started getting big as a football player (mainly because his father got in his head about Melly “distracting” him from making it big, but she doesn’t know that until way later). She never quite got over being dumped like that, because she really loved him, and she’s certainly pretty angry at even the thought of Jamie for a while.

— The girls all move to Richmond when Ji gets a job as the team’s new official photographer, and as such Melly is forced to see Jamie again after years of refusing to watch or interact with the sport of football at all. Over time, as all three girls start to become fixtures at Richmond and close with the team, she and Jamie do start to become friends again, but they’re definitely a lot more snappy and bickering with each other than they ever were before (and Melly becomes wildly overprotective for a little bit when she realizes Ji and Jamie are interested in each other).

— Have you guys ever seen that one quote that’s like “before I am a woman I am a menace to society”? That’s basically Melly in a nutshell.

— She’s feral. She advocates violence as a first response. She carries a pocket knife with her at all times. She once ate an entire banana peal on a dare (from Jamie, of course). She’s a complete bisexual mess and I love her.

— She and Sam are also super incredibly cute together! They’re very black cat x golden retriever and the entire team ships them (including Ted and Beard, of course, because we all know they are the captains of any and all relevant ships going on in the club).

JIANG “JI” LIN:

— Jamie ship.

— The bestest little non-binary sweetheart.

— Member of Electra Hearts along with Melly and Day, but mostly takes photography jobs outside of band gigs rather than waitressing or barmaid jobs like their friends.

— During her revamp of the club after taking over from Rupert, Rebecca sees Ji’s photography site and notices how all their reviews praise their work but acknowledge that they’re very nervous around new people. She hires them as the new official club photographer as another part of her plan to take down Richmond, figuring that putting such a nervous person around a bunch of rowdy athletes will either negatively affect their work or cause them to quit and create a story about how Richmond drove away a talented photographer.

— However, she fails to realize that Ji is a lot braver when their friends are around and once they get to know people, and by the time Rebecca’s scheme starts to fall apart they’re a genuine member of the Richmond family and a sibling/child figure to everyone in the club. (Including Rebecca herself, once she apologizes for hiring Ji for selfish reasons and is forgiven and they actually start getting to know each other.)

— Ji is an absolute sweetheart once they’re comfortable around people, always willing to listen and try to help when someone is struggling and fiercely loyal to the people they care about. Melly and Day like to teasingly call them “sunshine,” and some of the Richmond players refer to them as Ted’s mini-me (said with love, of course).

— They fully expect to hate Jamie as much as Melly seems to when they first start working with Richmond, and they definitely don’t exactly like him at first, but they also see pretty quickly how much hurt and insecurity he’s actually hiding behind his cocky demeanor, and they make it clear that he’s free to talk to them at any point if he needs to, which turns out to be just what he needs, and the more time they spend together the more they seem to fall for each other.

— Ji feels terrible about it at first, having feelings for their friend’s ex, but after Melly goes through a brief overprotective freaking out phase upon realizing that they like each other, she doesn’t hesitate to give them both her blessing, and they actually become a very cute couple!

— Ji might be a sweetheart, but they also don’t put up with Jamie’s shit and encourage him to become a better person, and in that sense they’re really perfect for each other.

DAISY “DAY” HARVINGTON:

— Poly Roy and Keeley ship.

— Third and oldest member of Electra Hearts, but she’s not that much older than Melly and Ji (they all met at uni when Day was in her third year and the other two were freshmen).

— Generally the one in charge of booking gigs for the group, and the informal “leader” of the trio.

— Not exactly the most responsible of them, though; she’s had a lot of issues in her life and had various shitty boyfriends and girlfriends, so she kind of struggles to trust anyone who isn’t Ji or Melly. (She’s not exactly rude or standoffish, but she generally tries to avoid talking about herself or being alone with anyone who isn’t her friends.)

— She actually does form a bond pretty quickly with Keeley, though, mainly because Keeley thinks she’s very cute and interesting and refuses to let Day keep her at a distance.

— Takes a job as a bartender at May’s pub when Electra Hearts moves to Richmond, and May basically adopts her as a daughter since she doesn’t have a good relationship with her biological family.

— At first she and Roy are sort of just like two black cats chilling together, spending most of their time just sitting in silence doing separate things and counting that as hanging out, but when he starts dating Keeley and Day spends more time as him as a result they actually get close.

— And at some point Day realizes she has feelings for both of them, which terrifies her and makes her withdraw from everyone a little, but eventually Melly and Ji scheme to get her to talk to Roy and Keeley and she learns that they both have feelings for her too.

— They still don’t get together immediately after that, partially due to Day’s relationship trauma and partially because none of them have ever been in a poly relationship before and they’ll need to learn to navigate that dynamic, but once they do they are all a completely adorable throuple that everyone ships! (Other than some nosy sports journalists - NOT TRENT - who Roy has to punch for insulting his girlfriends.)

— Also obviously Roy and Keeley don’t break up in this story, and they and Day live happily ever after! (Literally everyone does in my story, of course, but them especially.)

Alright, that’s it for info about these beauties for now!! Again, it might take me a while to make some official intro posts for them, but if anyone has any questions feel free to send them in!!

(Tagging @auxiliarydetective because she is also a fan of Will, @themaybewoman because they’ve interacted with Will content before so maybe they might like these babes, @purpleyearning because they did ask a looooonnnnggg time ago for me to tag them if I ever made a poly Roy and Keeley OC, and @eddiemunscns because she did say she’d be down to talk Ted Lasso OCs!! <3)

[therecordconnection]

Ranting and Raving: "Come Dancing" by The Kinks

When looking at the British Invasion of the sixties, there is something known today as “The Big Four.” That group refers to the four bands that led the musical invasion on American shores: The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who, and finally, The Kinks. The Kinks were entered into that club way later than the other three. It took more time for people to realize that the band were of the same caliber and helped pave the way for a lot of music we hold dear today just the same as the others.

But the Kinks ended up having a wildly different career trajectory than those other three. Mostly because they were banned from playing in America from 1965-1969. 

The exact reasons for why tend to boil down to this: When attempting to tour America in 1965, there was tension between primary songwriter/guitarist/vocalist Ray Davies and his brother, guitarist Dave Davies (who also had beef with at-the-time drummer Mick Avory, sometimes losing it and fist-fighting him on stage), they all had beef with their tour promoter, Betty Kaye, who was unable to pay them in cash (which was the agreement that was made and unable to be fulfilled due to poor ticket sales at the beginning of the tour) and when that happened, the band was pissed and decided to retaliate against her. This in turn led her to filing a formal complaint with the American Federation of Musicians (basically the organization who has the power to withhold work permits for overseas musicians in the event that, you know, they piss you off and are difficult to deal with). That complaint held weight and the band were, well, banned from playing in the states. By the time the ban was lifted in ‘69, the British Invasion was over and done with and the tastes had changed.

In a way, I think this actually ended up being a blessing in disguise for them. The other three bands they’re grouped with all ended up getting Americanized in some way due to spending extended time here and trying to appeal to us. By contrast, The Kinks were stranded and remained aggressively British, so they stayed weird and their music remains all the more fascinating to Americans because it wasn’t made with any of our sensibilities in mind. The only times the band snuck over here and scored a Top 40 hit twice during the seventies. “Lola” was the big one in 1970 (peaked at #9 on Billboard) and “Rock and Roll Fantasy” was the other one in 1978 (peaked at #30). So as far as America is concerned, the seventies weren’t the best decade for the band in terms of chart success. They would go mostly ignored.

The Beatles, The Stones, and The Who all had a great time here in the seventies... but the eighties belonged to the Kinks, who had a way more fun time during that decade than any of them. By the start of the eighties, the Beatles had been broken up for a decade (one of them would be dead by the end of 1980, one of them sits out most of the first half of the decade, one of them doesn’t know what the hell they’re doing, and one of them is Ringo) the Stones were about to go on autopilot and enter suck for a decade, and the Who were quickly suffering burn out. On the other hand, The Kinks had been enjoying critical and commercial success and enjoyed experimenting with the new wave and punk sound that had been sprouting up in Britain. It certainly helped that a lot of new wave and punk bands loved them and were covering their songs. Listening to albums like 1981’s Give the People What They Want and 1983’s State of Confusion are good examples of Ray Davies’ versatility and adaptability as a songwriter. He just seemed to understand the changing times better than the rest of the old British Invasion bands. I mean, bloody hell, you don’t call an album Give the People What They Want unless you’re damn sure you know what they want. The Kinks have five songs that have been Top 10 hits on Billboard: “You Really Got Me” (#7 in 1964) “All Day and All of the Night” (also #7 in ‘64), “Tired of Waiting For You” (#6 in 1965), “Lola,” and finally, their last and quite possibly the best song Ray Davies wrote in his long career, “Come Dancing” (#6), released in April 1983 (for America, Britain had it in October ‘82) and our subject today.

“Come Dancing” is one of those hits that defies most explanations. By all accounts, Americans at the time should’ve wanted nothing to do with it and it never should’ve been a hit here. By the time the song hit its peak in July 1983, It didn’t fit in with anything else that was on the Top 10. That is, unless there’s a part of your brain that thinks the Kinks can share a playlist with the likes of The Police, Irene Cara’s “Flashdance... What a Feeling” (from, you guessed it, the movie Flashdance), Michael Jackson, Culture Club, and Kajagoogoo, which sounds like a name I made up, but I swear to god I didn’t. Adding to the anomaly is how Ray Davies didn’t write this with an American audience in mind at all. For starters, he makes no attempt to hide his accent (although Ray is so aggressively British you’d have to be the most daft and schtewpit wanker alive not to notice). Other giveaways are how the song talks about dance halls (which is primarily a British concept. He also uses the French word “Palais” to mean “dance hall,” which only further alienates us Yankees) and the song borrows its title from a popular British dancing show, Come Dancing (it’s mostly known today through its revival, Strictly Come Dancing).

“Come Dancing” is mainly concerned with two topics: 1) It’s a song examining the changing times and memorializing the past. The dance hall of Ray’s childhood is long gone and has been replaced with several different things ever since. 2) It’s a story song about his older sister, Rene. More on her later. 

If this song became a hit for any reason, it’s because Ray Davies’ ear for melody never failed him. That main melody that plays through the song is ridiculously infectious. It does what every great song wants to do: sneak into your brain and have you hum it for a long time after it’s over. Musically, it’s delightfully strange. The chorus has that British Invasion sixties sound that taps into boomer nostalgia (which would quickly wrap the eighties into a vice grip tighter than a rattlesnake) but it never fully consumes the song. The main melody has that sixties sound when played on a guitar, but it’s almost drowned out by the odd choice in keyboard sound, which sounds like something you’d hear on a calliope or a boardwalk in the summer. While being odd, it’s an immediately recognizable sound that works really well. It’s very easy to start dancing to it and, more importantly, it’s such a great melody that it never gets obnoxious or annoying to hear. 

The most interesting thing about it is that it’s a melody that feels like it’s fighting to find a spot in a specific time period. Dave Davies’ guitar makes it sound sixties, the keyboard turns it distinctly into 1983, and then it travels back to the big band era of the forties and fifties when horns play it at the end of the song. It’s a melody that’s clearly nostalgic for something, but it and its creator never find exactly what it’s nostalgic for. There’s an argument to be made that the entire song is nostalgic for everything and that’s why there’s no specific choice. In that sense, the song perfectly captures that feeling of experiencing changing times. What you knew is gone forever and you’re having to come to terms with the new. The overall production, the keyboard doing the main melody, that new wave sound and Dave’s heavy guitar riffs during the halfway point of the song, and the chorus are all firmly in the new. The keyboard during the verses, the acoustic, folksy guitar heard throughout the song, and the big band horns at the end are all the faded voices of the old trying to be new again. Ray Davies is very well aware of time and the way time changes things as major themes within this song. Those themes show up as early as the first lines of the song, when he lays out the history of the local palais in just four lines:

They put a parking lot on a piece of land  Where the supermarket used to stand Before that they put up a bowling alley On the site that used to be the local palais

Local palais -> bowling alley -> supermarket -> parking lot. Anybody who has lived in a small town for decades or has lived long enough to see major changes to places can rattle off history like that to you. Even if you haven’t, sometimes you can just walk into a store and you can faintly see the remnants of what used to be there, possibly something to the tune of, “This coffee shop used to be a Pizza Hut.” Ray Davies establishes that theme from a distance immediately so that he can zoom in just as fast and begin to tackle the song’s real reason for being: a story song about his older sister, Rene.

Ray Davies has six sisters, all of them older than him, but it’s Rene who hit the jackpot and got this song written about her. The backstory of “Come Dancing” is this: Ray wrote the song in honor of his sister’s love of dancing and to honor her passing away from a heart attack on the night of Ray’s thirteenth birthday while out dancing at the local palais. She was also the sister that bought Ray’s first guitar for him (you can see the kid in the music video air strumming a tennis racket, which I’ve always assumed was a nod to Ray being given a guitar). In a 2014 radio interview with NPR, Davies recounted the stories that inspired the song:

...she was told she had severe heart problems, but she loved to dance. And the doctors told her, she walked down the road, she would probably have a heart attack. So she bought me this not-very-expensive Spanish guitar and gave it to me on my birthday. And she - we played a few songs. She played a song on the piano. And I tried to play with her. And she said she was going out now. And I would watch my sister go out.  It was a sunny afternoon. And she walked down the road, and my mother stood at the gate. And that was it. And the next morning, we got a call from the police. She'd been - she had died dancing at the ballroom in London in the arms of a stranger. And they came to break the news to my parents. So it was - the birthday was forgotten, but that's irrelevant.

From the last line of the first verse to the end of the song, it becomes a beautiful eulogy about the loss of Ray’s sister and the dance hall that held her happiest memories. The story that Ray tells in that NPR interview is found all throughout the song’s lyrics. Ray mostly focuses on the boyfriends and dates that his sister would go on and even how Ray could see her coming and going (“Out of my window, I could see them in the moonlight / Two silhouettes saying goodnight by the garden gate”). Ray paints a fun, upbeat, and bouncy picture of his sister as your typical fun-loving girl who loves to dance and would make her dates work for (limited) satisfaction.

Another Saturday, another date She would be ready but she'd always make them wait In the hallway, in anticipation He didn't know the night would end up in frustration He'd end up blowing all his wages for the week All for a cuddle and a peck on the cheek

The lyrics stay just as light and peppy as the song they’re attached to. Despite the fact that Ray is writing this song about a woman who passed away twenty-five years before this song existed, the only sadness to be found is the death of the palais (The day they knocked down the palais / Part of my childhood died, just died). 

The final verse of the song is the most important part. We’ve established that in real life, the person this song is written about passed away twenty-five years prior. In the song, she isn’t. Ray Davies utilizes the power that comes with being a songwriter and fully rewrites her ending. This part is real: “Now I'm grown up and playing in a band / And there's a car park where the palais used to stand.” These lines aren’t:

My sister's married and she lives on an estate Her daughters go out, now it's her turn to wait She knows they get away with things she never could But if I asked her, I wonder if she would

With this final verse, “Come Dancing” becomes a song that resurrects the past and gives it new life. “Come Dancing” isn’t just a nostalgia song, it’s a resurrection song. A nostalgia song usually is too preoccupied with the yearning for days gone by, the dread that comes with knowing that the old days are gone forever and you wish like hell that they were back. “Come Dancing” isn’t that. The final refrain of the chorus has Ray singing, “Come dancing / Just like the palais on a Saturday.” The key words are “just like.” Ray knows that he can’t literally bring the palais back (or his sister, for that matter), but as a songwriter, he can resurrect the feelings and the memories of the palais on a Saturday. He can resurrect the feelings and the memories of his sister and how she would go dancing. 

It’s a beautiful and loving tribute to someone dearly departed. If you believe in any variation of the phrase, “The dead are never truly gone so long as the memories remain,” then this song does what a lot of songs do when they make us think of the people closest to us: it resurrects their memory and helps us remember them and how we carry them with us. 

It’s the most unexpected hit they could’ve had during the second half of their career and it remains one of their sweetest and most lovable songs. It represents the romanticism, the cleverness, and the theatricality that made the Kinks such a wonderful band and so distinct from their peers.

“Come Dancing” is the best possible tribute. It brought Ray’s sister and the old local palais back to life every time he and the Kinks played it. They come back to life every time you play it on something. If you have someone special to you who loved this song to death, they come back too whenever you play it. Hell, when Ray Davies eventually leaves this Earth, this song will also bring him back to life every time someone plays it.

Time moves, whether we want it to or not. But if we’re lucky, we’re able to capture a few magic moments and make them immortal. Nothing is ever fully dead so long as there’s someone there to fill it with love and resurrect it.

So, why not come dancing?

It's only natural.

[mercurygray]

A while ago you posted ideas you had for OCs for MOTA - what happens if we write similar OCs by accident like I had some same ideas before you posted and now it looks like I'm just copying and I'm basically thinking we are all gonna be having this problem here on out with OCs sounding very similar

Kind Anonymous Friend, this is a great question.

This is one of many reasons I don't usually talk about my characters before they're people. But I'm fairly confident that the list of ideas I shared is really pretty low level and won't lead to copying.

Sure, I could get sore if someone else writes an ATA pilot, but I don't own the whole idea of that job, and I know there are going to be some OCs with the same jobs. This is a pattern that already exists in the Band of Brothers fandom, where nearly every single OFC is a female paratrooper or a nurse. And that's okay! Those are jobs that make sense for the context they exist in. I investigated this more in 2020 and you can see my results here.

We know that there are going to be a lot of OCs with particular jobs because we've already seen those roles in the show - there are women waiting at home, women in the Land Army, the Clubmobile Service, the WACs. We also know that there are adjacent services we could handwave about if we wanted to - the Medical Air Evac nurses, Women's Air Service Pilots, Air Transport Auxiliary pilots, Women's Auxiliary Air Force officers. The Army Air Force received 40% of of the women who enlisted in the WAC, and they did pretty much every ground crew job imaginable: "weather observers and forecasters, cryptographers, radio operators and repairmen, sheet metal workers, parachute riggers, link trainer instructors, bombsight maintenance specialists, aerial photograph analysts, and control tower operators." (There's a prompt list if I ever saw one.)

At a certain point, we also know that we're going to start seeing the same names, because the most common women's names for 1920 don't change. Both @shoshiwrites and I both happen to be writing women named Frankie, for example, but they're wildly different people. (The fact that Buck Cleven keeps referring to Marge is making my head spin - but Marge Cleven is not Marj Gordon.)

And that's the thing I want everyone to take away here - it only starts to look like copying if the entire concept and backstory and character quirks are the same. When two of us both start writing devil-may-care British blonds with a penchant for John Egan, then we'll have a problem. Or maybe we won't! Ultimately, it is the quality of your writing and your character development that will make what you do stand out.

All the same, it is a good idea to make friends with your fandom neighbors. Being aware of what other people are working on - and reaching out to assure them you're not copying - can go a long way.

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Henry V (1989 film version with Kenneth Branagh): Reactions, Part II

let us continue!

once again, we love us some OLDE MAPS!!!

“plsssss i don’t want my boyfriend to be executeeeeeeed :(“

this guy is taking no shit

tfw your former buddy is about to get executed right in front of you

“how could you let this happen to me??? :(“

“…did i fucking tell you to go rob a CHURCH???”

✨uncomfortable foreshadowing in the flashback✨

honestly, getting hanged for robbing a church is…not out of character for him!

well at least you want them all to treat the villages and villagers fairly but uh…didn’t you literally just talk about sticking babies on pikes a few scenes ago?

in keeping with the tennis stuff: the ball is now in france’s court

well, he’s nothing if not a good catholic boy i guess

chorus is just like “well! that happened!”

stop comparing horses and armor and go to SLEEP y’all have a BATTLE tomorrow

or don’t. knock yourselves out i guess.

once again: royals and nobles have nothing better to do than wander around in disguise! always a treat in media

calling your countryfolk “your bosom” i guess

kissing one’s dirty shoe? okay good for you i guess

yeah y’all shouldn’t be talking so loudly right before the battle you never know who’d be listening

the elizabethan version of “if all your friends jumped off a bridge would you do the same?”

and he likes speaking about himself in the third person

ooh damn this guy’s got a good point (that the king might have some reckoning to do if this war is not just)

no, what he’s saying is that what if they shouldn’t have died in the first place. keep up, henry

OHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT HE JUST CHALLENGED THE KING TO A DUEL

(he doesn’t know he’s the king but STILL! DRAMA!!!!!)

he’s considering…

“okay but surely i’m not responsible for EVERYTHING in my people’s lives??? right??? RIGHT???”

and the question surely on both of our minds: but where is the line, especially in this case???

ooooooooooooooooof.

okay but this brings up a good question: so if his dad murdered the guy before him, it may not be right to punish the son for the sins of the father but uh. is his claim to the ENGLISH throne even legit, let alone the FRENCH throne??? has he legitimized it through his penitence and devotion (in more than one sense)??? much to think about!

BATTLE DAY IS HERE!!!

whack whackity whack whack

FIVE TO ONE?!?!?! oh lord help you all

oh hey here’s the other thing i know: the st. crispin’s day speech!

come on y’all KNOW it’s iconic

“we few, we happy few, we band of brothers…”

i mean come on. it’s just so uplifting and strong and has GREAT vibes.

“dude. we do not need to have this discussion AGAIN.”

can’t help but respect henry right now even if you don’t like him!

here we go…

dude how did you just show up in the middle of the battlefield lmao

“ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck that is a lot of people coming at us at once ohhhhhhhh boy”

also i love how they’re just cutting to all these WILDLY different reactions on all these english leaders’ faces lol

HERE WE GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh yeah i do remember learning about this. how the longbows were taking ALL the french out and how it was an example of important military tech development during this time or something like that

gotta respect a leader who fights alongside his soldiers

this is gory and graphic as FUCK omg

can’t even tell half these english dudes apart but oof that HURTS (are these people even english???)

sucks to be y’all

oh hey again baby christian bale!!!

WHERE IS THE HIGH PITCHED SCREAMING COMING FROM

oh my god. oh my god. THE FRENCH WENT AFTER THE FUCKING KIDS????????????????

i’m gonna need a sec. hold on. gonna need a sec.

he gets it!!!

oh BUDDY 😭

“I WAS NOT ANGRY SINCE I CAME TO FRANCE, UNTIL THIS INSTANT!!!” MOOD. FUCKING MOOD.

this, imo, is an appropriate reaction

reasonable request though

i mean with all the carnage everywhere it’s entirely understandable to not know what the FUCK is going on

well at least the english won i guess

but, and i could be wrong here, weren’t they retreating anyway? so either way technically they lost the war. this just means their army didn’t get hacked to bits or something i guess. idk. could be wrong.

oh buddy…

did you not look at your map before you came here. it would’ve told you this place was called agincourt

okay but why is this so adorable

MISTRESS QUICKLY DIED????????? nooooooooooooooo rip to the “reverenza” queen

the only french guy in here: wait TEN THOUSAND french people died??????? like, ONE SIXTH of the entire army???? 😳

ONLY TWENTY NINE (29)????????????

(i mean, presumably the boys are not being counted, and goodness knows how many of them, but maybe they are???)

his line reading is just *chef’s kiss*

HENRY IS CARRYING THE BOY STOOOOOOOOOOOP DO YOU WANT TO MAKE ME CRY AGAIN

also this is really beautiful music

like. there’s so much to unpack here. and it’s a beautiful moment, and some GREAT camera work. 10/10 the movie could end right here but apparently there’s another 20 minutes

annnnnnnnnnnnnnd i’m crying again

oof.

so it looks like war devastated our buddy henry, so maybe let’s go for peace instead?

flashback time!

what have we all lost?

also unrelated but what happened to the guy who challenged henry to a duel? i hope he’s having a good day

ah yes, making a woman your demand. *sigh* yeah i know this is how politics and arranged marriages work, and she seems to not hate him, but still.

okay but: gorgeous

this is awkwaaaaaaaaaard

“i already tried to be the enemy and that didn’t work so i guess…france’s friend???”

he’s trying!!! and it’s honestly kinda cute

and it seems like he’s giving her a choice, so good on that

annnnnnnnnnnnnd there it is!

ah, peace.

annnnnnnnd bringing the frame back

henry may have been brilliant, but…history has a way of complicating things.

anyway this was AWESOME, 10/10 definitely recommend

[sunnybugz]

papyrus, orchid, cactus, and daffodil for the ask game :)

papyrus : if you put your on repeat playlist on shuffle, what's the first song that comes up? what do you like about it/associate with it?

touch tank by quinnie !! it makes me think about my ex oops 😭 i used to listen to it and fantasize about us living together in a cute apartment and being in love 🙃 (almost two months post breakup and our 5 year anniversary would've been two weeks from now so im yearning srry) . i do still like the song bc it's horny bubbly yearning music which is my whole personality

orchid : what's a song you consider to be perfect?

ok this is so hard bc i LOVE music but here's a few :

red side of the moon - trixie mattel

good luck, babe! - chappell roan (BEEN ON LOOP SINCE IT CAME OUT)

broom people - the mountain goats

intersection - slaughter, beach dog

sober to death - car seat headrest

a pearl - mitski

townie - mitski

bridge over troubled water - simon and garfunkel

landslide - fleetwood mac (i want my first dance at my wedding to be to this song 💗)

riches and wonders - the mountain goats

cactus : something you're currently learning about ?

ok most of the stuff im learning is school stuff which is just theories of media whoops . learned a lot of music lately though !! i just finished my honour band program which was so fun and i learned so much about playing my instrument (trumpet) and a bunch of new music that actually challenged me

daffodil : do you have siblings ? in what ways are you similar or different to them ?

i have lots of siblings !! 4 or 5 (complicated question, you'll see why)

d (technically oldest sister) : ok so she's Very Dead like . died 20+ years before i was born but the only reason im including her is we look the EXACT SAME . which is weird bc i look exactly like my mom and we don't have the same mom ? but yeah

p (oldest sister who i count, 31) : we are scary similar 😭 once again we look the same (i look like my mom, she looks like her mom, our dad has a type) . we're both very positive people who love to look on the bright side, we're both very interested in activism, both extroverts, and we're both very resilient :'-) most of our differences are generational-- she's 31 and im 19. but she's also more forgiving than me oops i think i hold grudges a lot more which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

r (older sister, 28) : we are not very similar at all-- i don't get along w her very well bc of this and because we weren't raised together. however we both have very strong senses of justice and work at nonprofits !

r (older brother , 23) : we aren't very similar either-- he's rlly introverted and focused on his interests which differ wildly from mine (comics and dnd mainly). but we're both very friendly + very focused on our individual interests even if they're super different (aka the Autism ...)

d (younger brother , 16) : we are so different but also the Same Fucking Guy . my fav family member he is literally the fucking realest . idek how to explain our similarities he's just the only sibling im close in age with (2.5 years) and we Get Each Other . differences wise he's an athlete (star wrestler + football player) whereas i quit sports 5 years ago, he plays video games and i don't, and he gets pissed off way easier but yk . 16 year old boy 😭 we also look SUPER similar especially when we were younger, except he has brown eyes and mine are green (and his eyebrows are 1000× better than mine NATURALLY)

[chorusfm]

Applied Communications – “Oxytocin Drunk” (Song Premiere)

Today I’m excited to share with everyone the latest single from Applied Communications called “Oxytocin Drunk.” Applied Communications is the music alias of Max Wood, and he channels his love for slick production and powerful songwriting in a crowd-pleasing package. When speaking on the new single, Max shared that “Oxytocin Drunk” is “the first song I finished when I decided to make music again. It’s about the joy of being disappointed; realizing that means that you are capable of caring really deeply about the people, ideas, and experiences in your life. I tried to keep it relatively straightforward and poppy, though the yowling off-key chorus vocals and abrupt shifts will probably lose some folks.” If you’re enjoying the new single, please consider pre-ordering his upcoming EP here. I was also able to catch up with Max for a brief interview below. Applied Communications · Oxytocin Drunk Can you tell us more about the meaning behind this single? This will sound super emo, but it’s mainly about being nostalgic for the bad parts of youth: the broken hearts, unrelenting acne, existential dread, fear of being left out and left behind, etc. – all these things that matter because you care about yourself, your friends, and your future. I think it’s common to want to protect yourself from pain and awkwardness as you age, but I think there’s also a lot of joy you can unlock in making yourself vulnerable to it. Your new EP Applied Communications Has A Midlife Crisis drops later this month, what can we expect from the new project and is there anything you’d like to share ahead of the release? It’s five off-kilter pop songs featuring lots of casio, drum machines, and random electronic elements. My voice is a little hard for some people to tolerate and there are discordant melodies and key changes that probably straddle the line between “cool and experimental” and “wtf is this” – but I’m pretty proud of it. This is your first new full release since the early 2000s. How has your return to music been and do you find it to be different than when you were releasing stuff years ago? My experience has been great! I’ve been really lucky to find support from a bunch of young folks who carry the same kind of anxious angsty dread that motivated my music twenty years ago. Music writ large is so wildly different, though. I feel like there used to be a pretty low hard cap on how many bands or artists had any sort of relevance. This is an obvious point, but you had to actually manufacture CDs (then get them distributed and sold in stores). Then to be discovered by listeners, you had to somehow get coverage in a magazine and/or airplay on a college radio station. As a result, just spitballing, I’d guess that there were maybe 10,000 bands with a meaningful number of listeners at any point in time. But according to ChartMetric, even the one millionth most popular band in the world right now has something like a thousand active monthly listeners on Spotify. That’s so bananas! It’s amazing to me that the barriers to entry have become so small. And as a result, any random person can connect with art that speaks directly to them in a way that was basically inconceivable the last time I was really active. At the same time, it obviously remains pretty much impossible to make a reasonable living off of music – even if you’re one of the bands that would’ve had moderate success in the 90s. I’d guess that there are way more bands making some small amount of money (e.g., like $5 a month or something), but fewer bands making anything close to a living wage. One more thing: it’s truly wild that I can see, basically in real time, how many people are listening to my music. There was zero visibility into any of that the last time I did this. Just so wild! --- Please consider becoming a member so we can keep bringing you stories like this one. ◎ https://chorus.fm/features/applied-communications-oxytocin-drunk-song-premiere/

[madi2112]

A drive along memory lane.

Burn the Jutebox

"I have to get up early for work"

"I didn't bring a change of clothes"

"There's a good chance it will rain"

All of these (plus a few more) are the reasons I was using to convince myself NOT go to the Osceola County Faire this evening.

I went anyways.

I'm glad I did.

Burn the Jutebox is a group of extremely talented youngsters (I can say that because I'm closer my 100th birthday then my 1st) I follow on social media. They are a great cover band and play songs from the 70's all the way up to modern music.

Now, I've seen hundreds of new bands go by on posts while scrolling through social media and I follow none of them. But this group was different.

They have a great respect for classic rock n roll by playing songs recorded decades before they were even born. They also have the skills to do many different genres very well.

But the reason I really took noticed was the energy.

Looks to me like they really enjoy the music they play and have a real genuine passion for it.

Personally, I love a good rhythm section and this one was a good one.

The young lady holding down the bottom end played a really good bass guitar and had a great honest blend of engery and musicianship. I love to see women who rock!

Which in turn reminded me so much of someone else who felt like that about music at their age. ME.

I know I don't mention it often on here, but I had many years where I followed my love for music through being a drummer/songwriter in various bands.

First in my late teens and twenties. Playing lots of shows but never finding the right combination of people.

As that search continued I ran into real life. I got married, had to get steady day job, kept fighting with my gender disphoria and the dream of being a working musician faded.

I revived it in my late thirties after connecting with an old friend who turned out to be a great songwriting partner.

We wrote some awesome songs and played regularly live, but focused to much on orginal music. This made it hard to connect with audiences (and get steady gigs) and mixing in covers would have been wise.

Of course, hindsight is always 20/20.

We did write some really good songs (I think) with my songwriting partner doing the guitars and vocals, while I wrote the lyrics, co-wrote and arranged the songs.

Yes, recordings and pictures from this time frame do exsist. But I hesitate to share them. The recordings are dated (done on 4 track cassette tapes. Long before digital technology) and the pictures are of me pre-transition (so I hate looking at them). Ask me nice and I might share.

But the struggles were bad and I hung it up again until my fifties when things finally clicked into place for a while.

I was in a working cover band that had an agent, played lots of shows and actually made money! TRIAX played all over the mountain west in bars, clubs, weddings, fairs, and lots of corporate events.

It was a glorious time. At least musicly.

Until things fell apart. Again.

Hearing Burn the Jutebox play many of the same songs I once did really sent me down memory lane with a stop at nostalgia place.

Maybe, someday, I can play a few live shows again.

But that seems wildly far-fetched, highly improbable and darn near impossible.

Still, when I was watching BTJ play "Saturday Nights Alright", "Sex is on Fire", "Take on Me" and a kick butt version of "The Immigrant Song" I couldn't help but wonder....What if?

~Madison

[novarex]

I really do enjoy fully voiced protagonists, but there is certainly a time and place (and practical reason) for the silent protagonist.

Dragon Age Origins and Baldur's Gate 3 both have silent protagonists, and they also offer the most diversity for players regarding not only WHAT they are, but WHO they are as a person with some agency.

This is my 2 cents.

In Dragon Age Origins, we are presented with many highly diverse backgrounds and character origins. Human, Elf, Dwarf - Dalish, City Elf, Elf Mage, Human Noble, Human Mage, Dwarf, Dwarven Noble. All of these backgrounds have highly fleshed out origin stories that all differ dramatically. No two backgrounds are alike, and they have big impacts on the game. On top of that, we have the ability to really choose who the player choses to be and how they interact with and interpret the world around them. You can play DAO 10 times and be a totally different HOF each time. Recording audio for every single choice the HOF could have made was just wildly impractical for any game at that time. I also think that one of the big draws to that game was that it offered the wide range of choice that it did. No others games at the time (that I can remember)

In Dragon Age 2, we are Hawk. Hawk is HAWK. Sure you can be kind of nice hawk, can't-take-anything-seriously hawk, or dickhead hawk. But really, at the end of the day, you are a single, prewritten character with a fleshed out personality and a destiny to fulfil. Hawk is, in many ways, just like Shepard from Mass Effect. I LOVE Hawk (DA2 is my favorite story) and her merry band of screwed up assholes. I love the voice of Hawk. But Hawk is an appropriate character to have a voice, because there are only so many options you can choose and therefore only so many voice lines to record. Same with Commander Shepard. For both of these characters, we have far less choice and therefore there are a reasonable amount of voiced lines to record. Did I mention how much I love purple Hawk? I love Hawk.

In Dragon Age 3, it felt like they were trying to split the difference between DAO and DA2. We got SOME choice back in WHAT we are (elf, human, dwarf, qunari) but since the character was voiced, we had a lot less choice in WHO we were. The Inquisitor, to me, was the most boring and flat of the three protagonists we had so far. While I was able to deeply and personally connect with my HoF (and Hawk because purple Hawk says the exact same shit that I would say - it's an ENTP thing), I really had a hard time connecting emotionally with the Inquisitor in the same way. She was just a bit bland for me personally. Although I really did enjoy the shit out of the game, the Inquisitor ultimately was a Mary Sue. I suspect if they had gone with the silent protagonist and given us more choice, I would not have felt that way. Commander Shepard managed to avoid the Mary Sue trap, but I think that is because they had the same protagonist across all games and the writing was vastly superior to DAI.

Now, Baldur's Gate 3 is an absolute JOYYYYYYYY to play because you can REALLY be whoever you want to be. The level of choice and agency blows DAO out of the water. Sure it was made like a decade and a half later and technology had changed a lot, but the level of choice it gives us is still an insane cut above. It was already a MONUMENTAL undertaking to make a game with this much choice. Everything from the writing, to the voice acting.... just every single thing. If we were to add in a voiced protagonist, oh boy, the game would take like 3 more years to make OR they would cut down on WHO you are allowed to be, limiting so much of the choice we love.

Personally, I would love to have more silent protagonists. If V in Cyberpunk were a silent protagonist and we were given more choice, I would have liked the game a lot more. I liked it, but I didn't LOVE it.

I don't know what they are doing with Dragon Age Dreadwolf, but I hope they don't split the difference like they did in DAI. Give us a silent protagonist with choice, or give us a well written out Hawk/Shepard.

Anyway, End Rant.

CONFESSION:

While I really am enjoying BG3, I am  befuddled by the mostly silent protagonist. It sort of diminishes my immersion when  my  protagonist will speak in party banter but never in any cutscenes.  I know a lot of people like the silent protagonist but I prefer it when my protagonists show some actual depth and emotion.  So I'm sorry if this offends but I hope BioWare never regresses back to a silent protagonist. 

[bisexualmormon]

04

I know this sounds dumb but I really hate the number four. I don’t like writing it, I don’t like looking at it, just not a fan of the number.

It’s been a bad week for me. Depression has been hitting really hard, and with me working long hours and not getting home until midnight, sometimes it takes a toll. Sometimes when I am at work and we can put on our own music (because the same generic coffeehouse radio day in and day out can grate on your nerves), I will put on a mix. Some of my coworkers call it musical whiplash. It goes wildly from different genre, especially when on shuffle. I put the Reading Rainbow theme on there as a joke to see if anyone noticed, and they did. It’s quite the hit. But something about 90′s club songs really helps. Really gets you grooving. But that doesn’t stop the intrusive thoughts at night. The ones telling you you aren’t good enough, that you aren’t good at your job, that you can’t do anything right. It’s hard fighting off invisible, non tangible threats. You grow up doing self defense classes (because I am a woman) and you know how best to save yourself from those that would do you harm. Physical harm.

No one really teaches you how to fight the emotional threats. 

Spiritual ones yes, that’s what the scriptures are for. That’s what prayers and conversations with god are for. But the emotional days when you are crying in your car on the drive home, the nights where you are unable to sleep in your own bed, where you can’t even take enjoyment from the things you love, that’s what they don’t teach you in school. Sometimes the shopping trips to target are good therapy the ones where you come home with two bags and $100 lighter in your pocket. But it only puts a small band aid on the problem. 

I was at work yesterday when my friend looked over to me and asked ‘are you ok?’. I really didn’t think that this simple question was going to break me like it did. I started breaking down and I happened to blame it on a patient that we lost and everyone understood. Everyone was ok with it. What I couldn’t tell them is that I am sad, that I’m hurting, that I have been hurting myself a lot lately. The pain reminds me that I’m alive, that it feels good to feel something that isn’t just constant sadness and anxiety. I lay in bed and night and I can feel my heart wanting to pound out of my chest and dance across the floor and go live a better life with someone else. But today I found comfort in such a small thing that the tears I am crying right now are not ones of sadness, but of relief. 

I have talked about this before but I have a terrible relationship with my father. Haven’t talked to him in over a year, I don’t keep contact with him and it’s for the best for both of us (yeah, it sucks but that’s another topic for another day). I do have a step-dad who I am close with. I joke with my mom that I might be his child because we both have an intense obsession with true crime. We swap new shows with one another all the time. We talk about cases constantly. We both followed the Lori Vallow case together really closely (didn’t help that he had a friend in the investigation who couldn’t tell us ANYTHING and we were just dying). He treats my mother so well, and he is a wonderful man. My sister and I were watching a show today and while it was sad and we were both crying, it was for two different reasons. She cried because of the show. 

I was crying because I was admitting to my mother over texts that I was breaking apart and self-harming. 

Hard to tell your mom these things when she made my body. Took her nine months and way too long to get me out and this is how I respect her? By causing cuts and welts across my body? Yeah, I was an absolute wreck (but so was my sister because Bill and Frank IYKYK). I asked if my step-dad could give me a father’s blessing. She said that he would love to but he was feeling sick and not awake so we could go see his parents instead. My step-dad has a step-dad who is a great guy, and very in tune with the spirit. I put on my clothes and went out to drive to my mom’s so she could drive me to the in-laws because we both knew I was going to be crying my eyes out after and driving was not in the cards for me with it being dark and me being a big fat baby. We lied and said it was the stress of my job that was killing me and I just needed a blessing to get through some rough times. 

Father’s blessings have been something I grew up with. My dad would give us one before the first day of school, he did it once before my brother had surgery, and I remember one time when I think my mom was really sick we gathered as a family. It’s always been a staple of my life and I just wanted that comfort. But obviously without a father or a male in the house that holds the priesthood, I’m SOL. Back when I was living in Utah I had my visiting teachers come and give me several blessings when I was at my lowest. I remember just not feeling the same way I did as a kid when I got my blessings, I didn’t have that rush, that feeling of the spirit. I don’t know if it was me or something else. I don’t think it was the brothers’ fault. They were great. They were there for me at times I was trying to end it all. But I didn’t feel that warmth that I wanted to have so badly. 

But when my pa blessed me today, there was this rush that came over me, and when I thought I was going to be crying my eyes out, because I am an emotional baby, I didn’t. It was this peace I have not felt in so long and all that sadness was tucked away for a moment. Pa reminded me that I am loved by so many people, and that everything is going to be ok. Just because I am feeling down right now doesn’t mean it’s going to stay. It’s ok to feel bad, doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way. My mom recorded it for me, and so now I have this little treasure that I can have, my first father’s blessing (well step-step-grandfather’s blessing) that I have had in ten, fifteen years, and a comfort that is helping to fight back those annoying thoughts that refuse to stop.

It’s late, I got to get to bed. My kitten refuses to leave my hands alone and needs me to pet him. He keeps my hands occupied in bed when I am feeling those little urges to cause some pain. He’s a cute little turd. Even if he refuses to eat his own food and goes after everyone else’s food in the house.

Love you guys.

A.G.

[ricketybonez]

something abt my mom trying to keep me on the phone a few minutes longer by asking me about what music ive been listening to lately even tho i will see her tomorrow night makes me very ✨💖💜💞✨

[milkybonya]

Make or Break

order 010 for @mechurihanbin: large banana milk tea with pudding for Jihoon

Warnings: Jihoon being a pain in the butt at times and watch out for a cliché scene! also some explicit language

Summary: in this highschool!enemies to lovers!au, Jihoon, the leader of a rival high school band to yours, annoys you, the leader of another band, to no end. but somehow the two of you end up being forced to combine forces as one band and... things go from there :]

Word count: 3k+

[a/n]: so i think @dobidreamz is the genius of enemies to lovers! with her Hyunsuk piece, and after also reading her Jihoon piece,,, well thats kind of where i got inspiration for this from so ALEX ILY and i hope this is good even tho it may not make sense and might feel rushed because i really didnt want to make this too long T.T i'm sorry

"Stand-by. We're on stand-by."

You fumble with the guitar in your hands and look down at your converse sneakers, making sure they're laced up properly. When you notice one of them is undone, you lean down to tie it up but stop when you notice a boy kneeled down, tying the laces for you himself.

His guitar hangs on his back, and his fluffy caramel hair is neatly styled around his head. When he looks up though, you have to fight back the urge to spit on him.

"[y/n], fancy seeing you here! You're going up next, right? Can't go up there with untied laces," he says, standing up while smirking.

"I'll see you around then?" he waves at you as he walks off and you let out the breath you were holding.

"This bi-" you start, but your bandmate, Junghwan cuts you off.

"We need to go now! They've called our name!"

"[y/n]'s laces, though," Haruto, another bandmate of yours, mumbles while pointing down.

Yes, of course. Jihoon did not tie your laces for you, but instead untied the laces of your other shoe instead. So now, you're royally fucked.

"There's no time!" Yedam says, pushing all of you forwards onto the stage.

Performing with untied laces... well, there's a first time for everything?

After quickly finding your positions before the curtains are drawn, you are visibly a lot more reserved at first, strumming the strings of your guitar while standing in one place even though you'd usually be running around. Your bandmates glance at you, worried about why you're acting differently from the way you usually present yourself on stage, but you try to ignore them, focusing on your vocals and guitar-playing... until you see Jihoon's face in the crowd.

He's so far away in the back, but you can see him somehow, poking his tongue out the side of his mouth while smirking at you. Seeing him provokes you in some strange way to take off, bouncing around the stage to Yedam on your right who also plays guitar. He feeds into your energy, nodding his head along with you as you both play into each other's sounds.

Your portion of the performance ends just like that, with you wildly running across the stage in your untied laces... and it becomes a big hit! If winning first place in the high school band contest you performed for isn't enough, when you go to school the next day, you notice everyone's shoes are untied. Everyone is whispering amongst themselves while glancing cautiously at you, and you don't think to connect the dots. Maybe everyone just forgot to tie their laces today?

"[y/n], you've got some explaining to do," Jihoon, says, walking up to your seat in class. Unfortunately, he's in the same class as you.

"Hm?" you ask, looking up at the boy.

He points down to your shoes.

"I'm the reason you performed so well on stage with your laces like that the other day, and now you're taking the credit for making untied laces become trendy?" he explains.

"When did I ever do that?" you ask.

"[y/n]! You rocked the stage with your laces untied yesterday but have them tied today? What's going on?" Hyunsuk, your classmate and Jihoon's bandmate asks you.

Although you and Jihoon aren't on good terms, you're still friendly with some of his bandmates. It's just Jihoon that is the problem.

"Ah... it was an acci-" you start, but Jihoon's callused hand, most likely like that from playing the guitar so much, covers your mouth.

"They just wanted to switch things up today!" Jihoon says, laughing awkwardly.

You bite his hand, earning you a yelp from the boy, who removes his hand and winces.

"What are you saying?" you whisper to Jihoon.

He bends down and leans forward to whisper into your ear.

"I'll give you a free pass to continue acting like you started this trend even though it was me," Jihoon whispers, "but in return, you have to do something for me."

You sigh.

"Jihoon, I really don't care about this stupid trend!"

Jihoon pressed a finger against your lips, sending shivers down your spine with his touch.

"Maybe you don't, but I think your bandmates do," he says, nodding in the direction behind you.

You turn around and find Haruto, Yedam and Junghwan, your bandmates, all showcasing their shoes with untied laces to one another while talking excitedly.

"What if this trend makes us popular?" Junghwan asks, excitedly.

"We could even name our band 'untied'!" Yedam suggests, earning murmurs of approval from Haruto and Junghwan.

You sigh for a second time. Noticing how happy your bandmates seem, you reconsider Jihoon's offer.

"I'll go tell everyone I'm the one who untied your laces if you don't comply," Jihoon starts, crossing his arms.

"Okay, okay! What do you want from me?"

"You'll find out later," Jihoon says, returning to his seat.

You ball your hand up into a fist and lightly smack your desk. This damned boy always gets on your nerves... why can't he just tell you now?!

After a long and dreary lesson, your teacher calls you and Jihoon into his office. Despite being confused, you obviously follow him along with Jihoon to his office. Jihoon, who avoids eye contact with you and walks with his hands thrown in his pockets, ignores a pack of girls who squeal as he walks past, only saying hi to a couple of his friends before the two of you reach the teacher's office.

"So, [y/n] and Jihoon. I know the two of you aren't exactly on the best of terms-"

You and Jihoon shoot glares at each other upon hearing that statement.

"-But I was hoping you would be able to do something for me. I know both of your bands are widely known around the city and country for being the best high school band, but there's a new competitor: blind daisy. They're rising stars and will be competing at the national high school band competition - the competition that really counts."

"So what should we do?" Jihoon asks.

"Well... while I admit that both of your bands are truly incredible, and congratulations again on the win yesterday, [y/n], I think that the two of you would be stronger together."

Firstly thanking your teacher for congratulating you, you glance at Jihoon after hearing the second part of your teacher's statement.

"Huh?"

"I'm thinking... for this competition, the two bands could unite as one," your teacher explains.

You scoff, glaring at Jihoon.

"I'm sorry sir, but I can't work with this guy!"

"Jihoon has already agreed to it, but wanted me to bring you both here to talk it over together today."

You whip your head around to face Jihoon, who has his lips pressed together.

"This is the thing I told you about, [y/n], the thing that you would find out about later," he says.

You squeeze your eyes shut, feeling dizzy.

"This?! Jihoon, you-"

"If [y/n] doesn't want to, then you don't have to proceed with this," the teacher says.

"No, [y/n] wants to. Right, [y/n]?" Jihoon asks you.

"Yes," you say while gritting your teeth.

With that, you've signed yourself up for a huge project that involves you closely working with Jihoon for a whole month. It can't be that bad, right?

-

"No, no no, [y/n]! I want you to play it more passionately," Jihoon complains, picking up his own guitar to demonstrate.

You sigh, staring up at the ceiling and ignoring Jihoon's demonstration completely.

"I know! I am playing passionately. Our ideas of passion are just different," you explain.

"Well the two of you have to agree on something," Yoshi, one of Jihoon's bandmates points out.

"I just don't know if it would work best to all do everything in the same way or just do everything in our own styles..." you say with a sigh.

"Well, we have to have some common points," Hyunsuk explains.

"Yeah, like when you and your band play, [y/n], you seem to share a vibe. Each time you walk up to Yedam and Haruto on stage, you even head bang in the same way," Jaehyuk, Jihoon's other bandmate explains.

"But those things just come naturally!" you say.

"I think it's because we spend so much time together that we just click so well," Haruto explains, and everyone agrees.

"So [y/n] and I just need to hang out more?" Jihoon asks, smirking slightly.

"Not just you and [y/n]! But all of us, together," Hyunsuk says.

"Sounds like you want some alone time with our lead guitarist, huh?" Yedam asks Jihoon, nudging him.

Jihoon scoffs, "I want nothing to do with this person."

But he can't hide the fact that his cheeks have turned slightly red.

Yedam whispers something to Haruto.

"I bet $10 they'll be dating by the time this competition is over."

Haruto shakes his head, no.

"I bet $10 that will never, ever happen," he says.

"Well all 8 of us can't just hang out together, that would be too difficult... I say we split into pairs!" Junghwan suggests.

After using that practice day to coordinate pair hangout sessions for the next day, you find yourself standing at the doorstep of Jihoon's house. Taking a deep breath, you knock and wait for him to open the door. When he does, his hair is messy and ruffled, his face is puffy with sleep and he's still in his pjs.

"[y/n]? What are you doing here so early?!"

"It's 3pm, Jihoon. You didn't answer my calls and texts so I thought you died or something."

"Oh... it's 3pm? But I just woke up," he mumbles to himself, checking the time on his phone.

"Can I come in?" you blurt out, smacking yourself internally for asking him that.

"Sure," Jihoon says, opening the door more widely so you can step in.

He asks you to wait in the living room while he changes and gets washed up, and you look around, finding some baby photos of him. It's weird seeing him look so cute after knowing him as such a rude person.

As you carefully pick up a frame in your hands to take a closer look, Jihoon enters the room and speaks up, frightening you and almost making you drop the frame.

"Was I a cute kid?" he asks, smiling as he dries his face with a towel.

You notice how his smile hasn't changed one bit, and it makes your heart skip a beat for a second. This kid really hasn't grown... was he mean as a baby too?

"No," you respond, putting the frame back with care.

Jihoon scoffs at you, throwing the towel he was holding onto his shoulders.

"Well... what should we do today?" you ask the boy, who collapses onto the couch at your side.

"Hmmm... do you wanna share some of our favourite songs?" he asks, already starting to scroll through his phone despite you not having agreed to anything yet.

"Sure," you say, also scrolling through your phone.

Jihoon shares a couple of the songs in his playlist first, and to your surprise, those were also the ones you wanted to share. When you tell him this, he blabbers some nonsense about how the two of you are a match made in heaven. When he winks, you lightly punch his shoulder.

"You're lucky I didn't hit you harder," you say, glaring at him.

"I can't believe you're being so rude to me when I literally am the host of this house?"

"Shut up," you say.

"Give me your phone, I wanna see the rest of your phone," he says, reaching forward to take it from your hands.

"No!" you yelp, moving it behind you and away from you.

Jihoon still leans forwards and as you lean back, you end up falling onto the armrest behind you, Jihoon hovering only inches above you. You can hear his soft breaths and stare at the mole under his eye, wanting to poke it to see if its real cause for some reason, it's making your enemy look kind of cute right now...

"Give me your phone," Jihoon says, taking it right out of your hand and sitting up as if nothing happened.

Is your heart the only one that's racing?

"[y/n], what's this?! Did you really make your face the cover for your spotify playlist?!" Jihoon asks, laughing as he shows you a playlist your bandmates made for you, using a candid photo of you laughing and pointing at something behind the camera as the cover photo.

"Stop! I told you not to look," you say, snatching the phone back.

"You looked cute there, though," Jihoon mumbles, leaning back on the couch.

"What did you say?" you ask the boy, who pats your head as a distraction.

"I just said that it's pretty egotistical of you to use your own face as a cover photo.

"My friends made me that playlist!" you explain.

"Okay, sure," Jihoon says, rolling his eyes but laughing at you nonetheless.

-

The two of you spend the rest of your day bonding over your shared music tastes and watching performances of your favourite artists, also making some time to go on a walk so Jihoon can show you the ducks that he says he likes to come and feed when he feels stressed out.

"Isn't it bad to feed the ducks?" you ask him as he squats down by the water with some bread in his hands.

He shrugs.

"They're hungry... so I should feed them, no?"

You shake your head at his logic and look ahead at the setting sun. This moment feels so weird... to be here with a boy you've hated for years now. It feels like you're on a date or something, watching Jihoon feed the ducks in his mismatched shoes and oversized sweater.

Back at his house, Jihoon decides that the two of you should waste no time in writing a song for your group.

"Let's get started on it while we can," he says, pulling out a paper and a pencil.

"Are you sure? Are we ready?"

"There's no better time than this," Jihoon says.

-

"So! Did everyone have a fun day together yesterday?" Hyunsuk asks as everyone is gathered together again in the school's music practice room.

There are some groans and quiet cheers that make Hyunsuk chuckle. You and Jihoon simply glance at one another slightly shyly.

"Hey, hey, hey! What was that look you and [y/n] just shared?" Hyunsuk teases Jihoon.

"It was a glare of hatred," Jihoon says, but while smiling.

You can't help but notice how good he looks leaning back while wearing a green jacket overtop a black t-shirt... what has gotten into you these days!!

"Anyway, let's practice!" Jaehyuk suggests.

Everyone stands up to reach for their instrument, getting organized.

"I have some good news," Jihoon says, making everyone look at him.

"[y/n] and I managed to write a song!"

"Wait, really? Without getting into a fight?" Junghwan asks.

Both of you nod, and everyone's jaws drop slightly.

"Well, let's hear it!" Yedam says.

When the two of you perform the song together, of course there's bass, drums and synth lacking, since it's just the two of you on guitar, but the song sounds so good still. It even looks good as your bandmates fail to take their eyes off you both for even a second. You even make eye contact with Jihoon at some point during the song as you sing, and Jihoon smiles, nodding along as you seem to sing to him.

"What was that eye contact?!" Haruto points out after your quick performance ends.

Both of you shrug before helping the rest of your bandmates learn the song. Things move forward from there as your now joint band works hard each evening after school and for the whole day on weekends to learn the song and learn how to properly perform it.

By the time the day of the competition is tomorrow, you're feeling severely stressed out, so you call Jihoon, whom you've somehow grown to hate a little less. There's some sort of strange tension between the two of you where Jihoon still gets on your nerves on purpose but seems to be teasing you rather than straight up shooting you down... or maybe he's always just been teasing you but you've taken it the wrong way?

Either way, Jihoon picks up the phone at 2am with a raspy voice.

"Hello?"

"Jihoon, I'm sorry, were you sleeping?"

"[y/n]? No, no, I was awake," he says, clearing his throat.

You smile at his attempt to lie for your sake.

"Ah, well... I'm feeling really stressed for tomorrow. I'm genuinely not sure I can do it... what if I mess things up? What if I forget the lyrics?"

"You won't mess things up because there's eight of us so no matter what happens, we can play it off as part of the performance. Even if you trip over and fall, we can make that part of the performance. We've already talked this over... and if you forget the lyrics, just make things up and have fun!"

You lose Jihoon's words within the first few as your thoughts begin to swirl around your head and you grow more worried.

"But what if..."

Jihoon sighs.

"You didn't hear a word I said, did you?"

You hum, still out of it.

"Just wait, I'll be there soon," Jihoon says before hanging up.

Confused, you decide to just try to sleep, even though that doesn't work. After a few moments, you feel your phone buzzing in your hand. When you check it, you notice a text from Jihoon asking you to open your door.

Surprised to see him at your doorstep, you let the boy in because he looks like a mess, wearing different pairs of shoes on each foot just like that day you went to feed the ducks with him, his hair is a mess and the buttons on his pyjamas are done up wrong.

Quietly, the two of you make it up to your room, where Jihoon sits cross-legged next to you on your bed.

"Do you want to practice?" he whispers.

"Here?" you ask.

He nods, beginning to quietly hum the instrumental and urging for you to sing. You press your lips together but still sing quietly when it's your time to do so. Despite being incredibly stressed and your mind being full of thoughts, you manage to deliver every line correctly without faltering, earning you a soft round of applause from Jihoon by the time you're done.

"See! You did great," he says.

"I'd never expect you of all people to compliment me," you say, trying to hold back your smile but still smiling at him.

"And why's that?"

"Because we hate each other," you say, seemingly pointing out the obvious.

"I've never hated you, you know. This has all been you," Jihoon says, leaving you speechless.

"W-what?"

"I never hated you."

"Jihoon... then why have you tormented me for so long?"

The boy laughs quietly, looking down at your hands.

"I can't believe you still don't know," he mutters, finally looking up.

"[y/n]... I usually play around with and tease the people I like. Just ask any of my bandmates!"

"W-what does that mean?" you ask.

He rolls his eyes before speaking again.

"Gosh, [y/n]. I like you! I've liked you this whole time."

"W-....what?" you ask.

"Yeah, there, I said it. Don't worry about... responding to that now, though. We have all the time in the world. Now, I'd better get going cause you need to sleep," Jihoon says, quickly getting up to leave.

To his surprise, he feels you tugging on the sleeve of his shirt as his back is turned towards you. He turns around, then, being met with your pleading eyes.

"Wait! Don't leave... just... stay and keep me company," you beg.

He gives you a confused look, but nonetheless ends up beside you in your bed a few moments later, gently massaging your scalp to help you fall asleep while your back is pressed against his chest.

"God, [y/n]... I can't believe I'm... laying next to you right now," Jihoon mumbles into your hair.

You simply groan in response and he laughs, burying his face into your back for a second before pulling away, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

"Is it okay if I just... hug you for a second?" Jihoon asks, quietly, his arm already hovering over you.

It's not like Jihoon to be so cautious, so you're worried he can hear how fast your heart is racing and feel just how nervous you are.

"It's okay," you croak out, squeezing your eyes tightly shut when you feel Jihoon pressing himself even closer against your back and wrapping an arm around you. Butterflies stir within you and you hold your breath, not used to feeling this way, especially around Jihoon.

-

At the competition, watching blind daisy's rehearsal does make you slightly more nervous, but after also rehearsing in front of them and seeing their reactions, you all feel a lot more confident. The little time before your performance is filled with all of you hyping each other back up, warming up your vocals and making sure all of your instruments are tuned and ready to be used.

blind daisy performs while you're backstage, so you can only hear their performance, not being able to see it.

"Well, they sound terrible," Jaehyuk says, and Yedam shakes his head.

"Let's not insult them! They actually sound really good..." Yedam says.

Throughout all of the chaos, Jihoon is constantly by your side, secretly slipping his hand into yours from time to time and rubbing circles over your hand with his thumb. It soothes and comforts you, and you're surprised to see just how well he knows all the things that calm you down.

When it's finally time to go on stage, the ten of you cheer loudly before walking on and giving it all that you've got. You're surprised at the chemistry on stage between you and Jihoon and think back to that first practice day when you bickered over something as simple as how to play the guitar.

It makes you smile as you look at Jihoon while singing, who is caught off-guard and grins widely back before going back to the state he was in: focused and wildly strumming the guitar with bent knees and his tongue slightly poking out the side of his mouth.

The two of you seem to be in your own worlds while performing, yet those worlds collide from time to time and create a masterpiece so beautiful that it earns you first place!

You still congratulate blind daisy, who tells you that they learned a lot from your performance and that you did well.

Your teacher, who was watching in the audience, tells you all how proud he is of you, but in that moment, the only thing on your mind is Jihoon as he has grabbed your hand again again and it's driving you insane, the way he's able to listen to your teacher so clearly and respond back while holding your hand like that. You, on the other hand, are having a whole crisis, your heart stammering in your chest and your whole being feeling as though you're stopped in time.

After the excitement dies down, you pull Jihoon aside to talk to him privately in... a closet, that being the only private area backstage.

"What are you doing?!" Jihoon asks, laughing as you drag him in there and close the door behind you.

Without any hesitation, you hold his face with both hands and press a rough kiss to his lips. You can feel him relaxing into the kiss and immediately responding, but you pull away just as he goes to wrap his arms around you.

"You...are so rude! Holding my hand everywhere like that and acting like nothing is happening."

Jihoon laughs.

"So that's what this is about? Listen-"

"No, you listen! I won't be disrespected like this. So from now on we're dating and you have permission to hold my hand but only if you don't hide it and don't continue on with your life as if everything is normal," you rant, panting afterwards.

Jihoon's open mouth lets out a laugh.

"Gosh, you're so cute," he says, poking your cheek.

"Here, then, I'm going to hold your hand," he says, not placing your hand in his pocket this time, but to your horror, opening the closet door and walking out there with your hand held tightly in his for all of your bandmates to see.

"Wha-" Haruto exclaims.

Yedam cheers.

"Gimme my $10, boiiiiiiii!" he yells to Haruto, who sighs.

"Woah, oh my God, what is going on here?" Hyunsuk gasps.

"See, I'm holding your hand and am acknowledging it," Jihoon tells you with a smirk.

"I'm actually... going to..." you growl.

"Going to do what, babe? There's nothing you can do to me now; we're lovers."

[morrisseyhaterr]

i'll put a readmore too cuz i also wrote a lot

thank you SO much for your long answer, again! and YESS love for "paint a vulgar picture"! love songs that touch on many topics at the same time, and on this one the vocals are hauntingly beautiful too! i think it's sad that many songs on strangeways here we come, and singles that aren't on hatful of hollow or the a-side of louder than bombs are often overlooked. as for oscillate wildly, i wish there were lyrics for it too, because i rarely can get myself to listen to music without singing - i wish i could, honestly, cause there are surely some masterpieces i'm missing out on haha.

i also LOVE stretch out and wait, but hopeful is maybe not the first emotion i'd associate with the song, haha! as for unhappy birthday, i'm not the track's biggest fan, but i can see why you like it :)

i think i might like london for the same reason you dislike it, because it's very different from most of their discography - for me, it's a very successful experiment. it's definitely punk-influenced, i haven't found a lot of ressources about the song's history online, but if you asked me to guess who got the idea to write a song like this first, i would say it probably was johnny (the reason why i think that is because he always wanted to push the band in a more experimental direction, as well as go on to create some similiar songs during his solo career and release a cover of "i fought the law" too). i think it would have been interesting to see some similiar tracks from them, but i also think they shouldn't have departed from their signature sound or anything

i also get weekly-or daily smiths song obsessions sometimes, and rubber ring is a great one!! the line "don't forget the songs which made you cry, and the songs that saved your life" particularly speaks to me tbh :)

as for the ask game, DEFINITELY go for it if you want to! some ideas for asks (except fave song, album etc) would maybe be most unpopular opinion, fave solo project, fave line. one's favourite smiths line can really say a lot about them as a person, though it's hard to pick (i know i'd be asking a lot of people this one). no pressure to use these, though (or make one in general)!

@morrisseyhaterr making a new post bc that ask is very long and i'm not sure how to put us under a readmore lol

Nowhere Fast is such a good pick!!! It's a very very good demonstration of "fun but still depressing" smiths music lol, and I 100% get what you mean by it giving you energy!! Also I think "I think about life & I think about death and neither one particularly appeals to me" is the superior version of "I'm not happy & I'm not sad" lolll.

Last Night I Dreamt... makes my top 5 on most days, I've said this before but it's so so so so unfair that some twenty-year-old just went "oh im sad" when he was sitting on a bus and wrote like the most fucking beautiful hauntingly sad chord progression to ever exist in the history of music? and yeah i've heard a lot of people complain about the lack of a radio edit to cut the beginning and i disagree so much with them - this song is an EXPERIENCE and that includes the heavy opener, without it the rest would not hit as hard for sure

I'm...not actually a huge fan of London sorry! (lol watch me get obsessed with it a week later) Wonderful Woman is lovely though, but I do think it's instrumentally stronger than it is melodically (sometimes i wish morrissey would have left this one alone and written lyrics to oscillate wildly) In terms of tracks i'm crazy about that I think are under-appreciated, I'd say probably stretch out and wait (it makes me so relaxed and hopeful), paint a vulgar picture (this one is absolutely devastating to me, probs could write a whole other paragraph about it lol), maybe unhappy birthday to an extent too (the voice crack at "from the one you left behind" makes me fucking cry)

and How Soon is Now!! not basic at all, classics are popular bc they're GOOD, and this one is LEGENDARY. it definitely captures the youthful anger and bitterness so well, and sonically achieved something really unique!!

oh also my weekly obsession this week is rubber ring. idk i think it fucking rules