#like today we had a very important health inspection

[allthebestcowgirls]

something so delicious and rewarding about making him laugh really hard. like thank you now let's make out

[dzpenumbra]

11/22/22

Big wrench in the works today. It turns out that driving your car once every 2 months for like a year... or 3... is not good for it. After all the shit to get to this point, my car did not pass inspection. And the bill will be very pricey. And the parts will take time to be delivered and installed.

I lucked out that they had one rental car. I have it in my driveway now. I'm going to have to go to the new place tomorrow for the move-in appointment, it's going to be a big day. I'm really hoping I can get good sleep, I have not been sleeping well at all the past few days and I've been nodding off the past few hours just trying to stay awake long enough to get my cat her night time meds.

I'm realizing that moving is going to be a much more complicated process than I was really processing. Mostly because of the cat medication thing. I managed to reassure my mom that she was capable of giving my cat the medication, and had her come over and do a test run just to reassure both of us. It's an ointment in the ear, it's actually really easy, Max really doesn't mind that much. It took a bit of a fight to get there, she kept trying to pressure hiring movers on me... but I just... I just really don't like the idea. I've talked about it on here before. Once we got over that hurdle and boundaries were clearly explained, things started to level out. She came over to dry-run the meds, saw it was pretty simple and checked out my new arsenal of polished stones and handmade beads. She was genuinely impressed, it was a good feeling.

But this set in another complication. Though she made herself available to help, after a week of silence recovering from major fights, now... she is going to be out of town for the holidays. At least, that's the plan. So... she won't be able to cover me for the cat meds. So I get to drive up tomorrow, move some stuff in... probably musical instruments I don't use, I don't really know what else, maybe just etc art supplies and shit. Whatever I can throw in my car quickly in the AM because there aint no way I'm packing my car right now. Probably not much. Then I'm coming back home... then I'm chilling here for another 2 days... Then I get to try to start moving again.

I'm going to have to check with my old landlords to make sure me staying extra time is going to be okay. Taking that week for mental health and recovering from fights and packing and all that was vital but completely fucked my timeframe. I was supposed to start moving in on the 15th. It's very hard to not be upset about that. The "could have been's". (Thank you for that one, Flex)

So... since I'm running on fumes... I'm trying to just not stress and just take my time. I don't think I have as many possessions as I fear I do. My mom offered to help me drive stuff up and even help move some stuff if there is an elevator. I'm not going to get into how confusing it is when she goes back and forth, but... yeah. The more important offer was some (at least temporary) storage space in her basement, so if there's anything I don't want to be wasteful and throw out... I can at very least just get it out of this place and decide what to do with it later. That option is awesome.

So a big new weight dropped, and another lifted. I'm just taking it one step at a time and seeing where things go. I did check out this portal thing that they have for the building, and they have like... profiles you can fill out for your apartment... like a social media profile or some shit? So I browsed out of curiosity and yes, the people who live there actually look like civilized human beings and not demonic hell-beasts who want to steal my shit and eat my cat, so that's pretty reassuring!

My anxiety has been at an all-time high lately, like... lifetime all-time high... in that it's hard to discern between anxious threats and real threats. They both exist, but the likelihood of both seem equal. Like... the likelihood of me accidentally hitting a curb because I don't know how the new rental car drives, and the likelihood of me having some kinda of Final Destination car accident feel like... on even standing, equal likelihood. And that's just flat-out wrong. So I guess that's just a survival-mode thing, so if you're going through that too, just like... be nice to yourself, try to gather a bit more information, try to get perspective from someone you trust not to judge you, and try to recalibrate a bit. That's what I'm trying, it's not easy work but it does pay off.

And my nighttime safe place routine thing is going pretty damn well. Falling asleep is still pretty easy. It's just the super vivid dreams that are fucking with me. Screw it, I've got some time, I'll share today's dilemma.

The end of my second dream last night was me in a workshop of some kind with Devin Townsend. A mentor figure. We were working at stations next to each other, no clue on what, and I was praising him for a really interesting box set concept piece he came up with. He reciprocated by getting to know me a bit. He said I struck him as the "athletic type", which... kinda took me aback. I started to tell him, "no, not really, I mean I just started skating again, and I barefoot hike a lot, like... a lot. But athletics are definitely not my thing." And I started to tell him I was a creative, an artist... Big pressure because, you know, he might have some work for an artist...

And it just pulled me out of sleep. Big adrenaline surge. I started doing diaphragmatic breathing - I legit seriously recommend this to anyone that gets physical symptoms from anxiety or panic attacks, it really helps calm down physical panic responses and quickly too. I was totally fine in like less than a minute, but my sleep-deprived ass was like... explaining to the ceiling what I do. And I really identified that this is a really big point of social anxiety for me. I would have so much more peace in my social interactions if I just had one fucking title and that's all I did. Me name Bob, me plumber. Done. GG. Simple. But nooooooo...

"Well, I am a multimedia artist, I specialize in pencil, colored pencil and ink, but I'm not limited to traditional mediums. I do music and poetry as well, in fact some would consider those my primary mediums. I have a degree in... Acrylic Painting, for some goddamn reason. I am a former tattooist... kinda... And despite all the above, I am currently working on wood-carving, stone-carving and jewelry making with locally sourced materials." Literally every time I try to nutshell this for people, their brains start melting out of their ears by the second sentence. So I started nutshelling it to condense it, but I always end up leaving stuff out. So now... when I meet new people... the first question I get is: "What's your name?" (sometimes I don't even get that, sometimes it's "How long have you lived in the area?") Which really doesn't have a simple answer when you currently go by 4 different names, and no one says any of them out loud to you. Then the second question, like clockwork, is: "What do you do?"

My remedy for this from now on. I'm going to do what my tattoo teacher taught me, with a twist. She said "get a tattoo of your own design in a visible location." So I inked my own wrist. It was the hardest tattoo I have ever done. But instead of doing that, for this... if someone asks what I do... I'm just going to point to my jewelry, or my custom clothing. And just add in the addition: "I do a lot of other shit, too."

Hopefully that will let me sleep at night!

[ukrfeminism]

Over the past five years the team of Donna Ockenden, the chairwoman of the independent review of maternity services at Shrewsbury and Telford Hospital NHS Trust (SaTH), has spoken to hundreds of families who had their lives destroyed by poor maternity care. Her 250-page report details how a toxic culture was allowed to persist for decades, leading to tragedy after tragedy. Here are the key findings:

Deaths of 201 babies avoidable The inquiry identified 1,592 clinical incidents of poor care relating to 1,486 families. With better care, 201 baby deaths could have been avoided. This includes 131 stillbirths and 70 deaths of newborn babies. Nine mothers died needlessly during childbirth. The review focused on the period from 2000 to 2019, but also found cases dating back to 1973 and Ockenden said staff had also raised concerns about poor care “in recent weeks”.

Vital data kept on Post-it notes For decades the trust wrongly insisted its maternity unit was good and safe. Families had complaint letters dismissed, only for external investigations to identify failings — often many years later. Women were left with “terror, guilt, suspicion and feelings of trust cover-up” after the trust said they had experienced good quality care. Maternity staff were “frightened” of speaking up and told by managers not to participate in Ockenden’s inquiry. One member of staff said: “There were people who tried to make changes, we tried to escalate our concerns and be heard, but every process we used was set up not to acknowledge our voices or the problems we were highlighting. We were ignored.”

Speaking today, the health secretary, Sajid Javid, said there were “basic oversights at every level of patient care” and highlighted “one case where important clinical information was kept on Post-it notes, which were then swept into the bin by cleaners with tragic consequences for a newborn baby and her family”.

Bullying left employees in tears Ockenden said a toxic culture of “undermining and bullying” left staff struggling to finish shifts and crying secretly at work. Two thirds of staff said they had witnessed or experienced bullying. The report identified an “us and them” divide between doctors and midwives. Some spoke of a “clique” on the labour ward of “dominating and intimidating voices” who “will make your life hell”. The wards were chronically understaffed and there was insufficient training for midwives.

Mothers blamed for failures Women were “frequently” blamed for their own deaths and those of their babies. A husband who lost his wife in 2011 recalled being told it was “difficult for the midwives to listen to baby’s heartbeat due to [the mother’s] size”. In 2002 when a mother died after a high-risk pregnancy, the trust said the woman “was aware of the potential effect [getting pregnant] could have on her future”. In 2013, they suggested the heart rate of a baby who died was not monitored because the young mother “liked to be left to sleep”. In another case, the trust said a mother was “responsible . . . because she clearly did not complain very much”. In 2011, a woman was accused of “being lazy in labour”. The report found widespread “unkind words, swearing, sarcasm and bullying towards women”.

Stillbirths not investigated The trust repeatedly failed to investigate serious incidents and deaths. Between 2011 and 2019, four in ten stillbirths and neonatal deaths were not investigated. On top of these failures, Ockenden said “external scrutiny of the trust clearly failed”. The report pointed the finger at “eight external bodies who inspected, visited, assessed or checked upon the trust” but failed to improve care. This included the Care Quality Commission, the national NHS regulator, which in 2015 rated maternity services at SaTH as “good”. Ockenden said: “Without investigation we cannot understand what may have gone wrong and we cannot learn.”

Families were brushed aside Families spent two decades being “brushed aside, ignored and not listened to”. They were forced to investigate their own children’s deaths and “chase for the results of their own investigations”. When one mother died in 2002, her partner phoned the doctor seeking answers. The doctor told him that “if you keep digging into this you’ll just find things you don’t want to find”, before putting the phone down. The scandal came to light only because of the tireless campaigning of bereaved families, notably the parents of Kate Stanton Davies and Pippa Griffiths.

Obsession with natural birth The trust prided itself on having a low caesarean section rate, which was consistently 8 to 12 per cent below the national average. Ockenden said the determination to avoid C-sections “resulted in many babies dying during birth or shortly after their birth”. Women whose babies were in breech position (feet first) were encouraged to have a vaginal birth despite the high risks involved. One staff member told the inquiry “they were always trying . . . for a normal birth all the time”. Too many women were inappropriately given oxytocin, a drug which induces contractions to facilitate a vaginal birth.

Newborns suffered fractured skulls The report said that “in a surprising large proportion of cases . . . common obstetric conditions were not recognised or managed”, including pre-eclampsia and heavy bleeding after birth. The trust repeatedly failed to adequately monitor babies’ heart rates, leading to avoidable deaths. Excessive force and forceps were used to deliver infants, leaving some babies with fractured skulls, brain injuries and life-long disabilities. Mothers suffered horrendous birth injuries and were left with permanent physical damage.

[biaswreckingfics]

To Be Replaced: Part 2

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 3.4k

Previous Chapter

For the next few days, every time you see Baekhyun, his face is buried in his phone. He spent the majority of his free time working on his line, setting up meetings with investors, and doing everything he could to make sure his and Maya’s designs were perfect. You were proud of him but also worried about his health. His lack of sleep and self-care concerned you, so you were relieved when you finally got him to agree to having a relaxing day together.

You thought the two of you would spend the day being lazy around the house, binge some shows, and either cook or order takeout. You figured it would be a good way for the two of you to relax together... Of course, you didn’t expect Baekhyun to completely ignore his phone during the day either. He had calls and emails to answer, and you expected that… What you didn’t expect was for him to have his face buried in his phone the entire day.

Finally, you sigh and pause the show he had wanted to watch and ask who he’s texting. You give him a little bit to respond, and when he doesn’t, you turn your body towards him and watch him type away on his phone. You ask a second time, and it’s like he doesn’t even hear you. You weren’t even sure he knew you were in the same room as him at this point.

You turn your head and glance around the room, trying to decide if it was worth it to keep asking or if you should just let it go. Debating, you knew it would bug you for days if you let him get away with ignoring you during the time you were supposed to be spending together, so you know you have to say something.

You turn back to him and poke his cheek, finally getting his attention. “I’ve been talking to you… Who are you texting so furiously?”

“Oh, it’s Maya. There was a problem with one of our fabrics, but she figured it out.”

Ah… That would make sense why he was so invested in his phone. Letting it go, you let him finish what he needs to do and go inspect the food you had in the kitchen. You didn’t really want to cook, and it looks like you didn’t have enough ingredients to make something delicious anyways, so you leave the kitchen and head back to the living room.

“Hey, do you want to get takeout instead? We don’t really have anything to eat.”

Baekhyun pauses mid text and looks over at you with a slightly guilty look on his face. “Didn’t I tell you Maya and I were going to go get dinner?”

You blink a few times, almost sure you were in a sudden state of shock. “No?”

He hums in thought for a moment. “I swore I did… Well, I want to thank her for fixing the fabric mix-up.”

“Wait a minute… You made the plans today? Even though we already had plans together?” you feel annoyance quickly filling you at the thought of him ending your day together halfway through it. Also, he couldn’t remember if he told you something that he literally just decided to do not even five minutes ago?

“I figured you’d be okay with it… We can have dinner tomorrow.” Baekhyun says as he shrugs like it’s not a big deal.

You try not to let it show, but you are hurt by his actions and the lack of care towards your plans… However, you knew this was important to him, so you would let it go, just like everything else.

“…Oh…okay.”

He walks up to you with a smile and gives you a quick peck on the lips. “I’m gonna go get ready for dinner. You should order yourself some food, though. It’s not good to skip meals.”

You silently watch as he walks toward your bedroom with a noticeable spring in his step. Suddenly, you didn’t feel hungry at all, but you pick up your phone and text Sehun to come over for dinner, anyway. Baekhyun was right. You shouldn’t skip meals.

You hang out on the couch and listen to Baekhyun hum as he gets ready. You try to ignore the hurt you were feeling about the sudden change in plans and how happy he seemed at the thought of getting dinner with Maya. Whether to celebrate a fabric mishap or not.

After what feels like forever, you hear the sound of your apartment door opening, and you glance up to see Sehun entering with bags of food. You quickly jump up to help him carry everything, completely used to him walking into your apartment unannounced.

“Thanks for coming over…” you say as you set the bags on your kitchen counter.

“Yeah, it’s no…”

When Sehun trails off, you look up at your friend’s face and see him staring over your shoulder in confusion before he glances back down at you with a questioning gaze. You turn to look at what had caught his attention and see Baekhyun grabbing his keys and wallet from the table before looking around the room to see if he had everything.

It wasn’t his actions that Sehun thought were weird. It was his appearance. Baekhyun was… decked out to put it slightly. He had on an all-black suit with matching dress shoes, and his hair was tousled artfully like you’ve seen on him a million times… He looked like he was going to an award show, not a dinner with a… business partner? …Now, you understood why it had taken him so long to get ready.

“Did you have a schedule today?” Sehun asks in a weird tone.

Baekhyun pauses his actions, finally taking in the fact that Sehun was here and the two of you were standing there watching him.

“No. I just have some business for Prive to attend to.” Baekhyun decides he has everything he needs before coming over to you and giving you a quick kiss on the cheek. “I don’t know when I’ll be home, so don’t stay up and wait for me.”

With those words, Baekhyun quickly takes off towards the front door and leaves without so much as a goodbye to the two of you. You look over at Sehun to see him glancing around the apartment in confusion.

“Am I in the twilight zone? Why does it look like he’s going to MAMA, and what does he mean don’t stay up late? It’s 6 pm. How much work does he have to do?”

You turn away from the apartment door and lean your elbows on the counter with a sigh. “He’s going to dinner with Maya. She apparently fixed a mistake with fabric… I don’t really know to be honest…”

“Okay… but why is he dressed up like that, and why are they going to dinner over fabric? Also, how long does dinner take?”

You take in Sehun’s questioning state. You were curious about all those things too, very curious in fact, but why was Sehun so worked up about it?

“What’s wrong with you?”

Sehun looks at you in surprise. “You’re not curious about all of that?”

“Well, yeah, I am… but you seem even more worried about it than I do.”

Sehun sighs and turns to begin unpacking the food he brought over. “I just… They kept pulling this shit on tour too. Always going to dinner, always staying out late, and working on Prive. You would think this was a project they were launching from the ground, but it’s not. Baekhyun already has all these connections, so why does it seem like they are doing so much?”

You chew on your lower lip as you take in Sehun’s words. Hearing how much time Baekhyun and Maya spent together and knowing Sehun sees it enough to pay attention to it was bothering you, but you didn’t want it to. You didn’t want to question Baekhyun because he had never ever given you a reason to doubt him before. However, you didn’t see the need to go to dinner over something small like fabric being fixed, and you certainly didn’t see why he had to dress so nicely for it.

“They’ve been texting each other constantly… and today, the two of us were supposed to spend time together, but he… Well, you know…” you trail off and indicate everything that just happened with a wave of your arm.

Sehun hums in thought while he searches your face. A moment later, he shakes his head. “She’s harmless. Ignore me. I’m just making something out of nothing. I’ve only ever heard them talk about designs and other fashion crap, so don’t worry about them.” He holds a food container up in front of your face to distract you. “Here, I got your favorite noodles.”

You grab the container from Sehun, but your mind is still with Baekhyun and Maya. You hadn’t realized how much the two communicated, and it surprised you it was enough that Sehun took notice of it. That Sehun was questioning it…

Over the next week, your communication with Baekhyun drops to nearly zero. Usually, when Baekhyun was at work, he was constantly texting you every chance he could, but now it was just short one-word answers he would reply with. When he’s at home, it’s no different. He spends most of his time coming up with designs or being busy on the phone with Maya.

You try not to let it bother you and to be the supportive girlfriend he deserves, but you can’t help it. It definitely bothers you. You couldn’t even remember the last time you and Baekhyun had a conversation that wasn’t interrupted by or about Maya. Not only that, but you were worried about him. It was like he was being consumed by this new line.

You glance towards the second bedroom that Baekhyun had dubbed his office and come up with an idea, or a reattempt at an old idea. Getting up from the couch you were currently sitting on, you make a beeline for Baekhyun’s office and feel grateful that he left the door wide open.

You peek into the room and find the man in question with his head down on his desk. You knew he wasn’t sleeping from the way he was sighing to himself, so you tiptoe until your behind his chair and slowly let your hands fall onto his back. He jumps at the sudden contact but relaxes once he figures out it’s you.

You slowly rub his back until he sits up, and you begin to work on his shoulders. His head falls forward as you give him a much-needed massage.

“Babe… I think it’s time you take a break… You seem exhausted.”

“I’ll do whatever you want as long as you don’t stop what you’re doing.” He mumbles in a daze.

You knead a little harder as you already plot a way for this to be an advantage to you. “Anything I want, huh?”

He lets out a soft laugh once he hears your tone. “Whatever you desire, love.”

“So many things come to mind when you say that… but I already know what I want.”

“What’s that?” he asks lightly. From the sound of his voice, you can tell he’s almost zoned out from the conversation.

“Take the night off from work, and let’s have a little date night at home…”

You feel him tense up, and you know he wants to protest, so you stop him before he can. “Please, Baek… You’ve been working nonstop since you came home from tour. You’ve barely even had time to rest… One night. That’s all I’m asking.”

He sighs before nodding. “You’re right. I need a break…”

He straightens up and turns his chair around to face you. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he rests his chin on your stomach to look up at you. “Plus, I’ve missed you…”

You run a hand softly down the side of his face with a smile. “I’ve missed you too…”

You get Baekhyun to follow you to the kitchen, and the two of you search for a good meal to make. Once you’re both satisfied with what you find, you begin prepping the meal and get ready to cook.

At least, that’s how it started out. In the middle of chopping up some vegetables, you glance over at Baekhyun and see him smiling at his phone. You ignore it the first time, even the third time, but once you notice Baekhyun has completely stopped helping you make dinner and is instead smiling at his phone, your heart drops.

You were sure it wasn’t work because you’ve never seen him smile at his phone for work. You didn’t think it was the EXO group chat or his friends because he never would stay glued to his phone when the two of you were together for them. Which could only mean one thing… He was talking to Maya.

Baekhyun suddenly lets out a loud laugh, startling you and making you knock some carrots to the ground. You sigh and bend down to pick them up, trying to decide if you even want to try to keep his attention right now.

“What’s so funny?”

He looks over at you in confusion before he remembers where he is.

“Maya sent me a pubg meme.” He tells you before waving his hand. “You wouldn’t get it, or else I’d show it to you.”

Feeling your shoulders drop, you bite your lips at his words. Baekhyun loved showing you stupid memes, especially about what he was interested in… Apparently, now he has someone else to share them with?

“I thought you and Maya only talked about fashion stuff?”

He shakes his head and looks back down at his phone. “We talk about everything. We actually have a lot in common. She’s a really cool girl.”

You ignore the twinge his words cause in your heart, but before you can say anything, his next words have you completely shutting down.

“She’s happy you’re making me take a break, and she thinks your little date night idea is cute.”

Your little date night idea… You mentally scoff. Why did the words sound so condescending all of a sudden?

“Right… Do you think you could actually help me with that little date night idea?”

Your eyes fall to the meat he has yet to season, and his own follow your stare. He jumps once he realizes he hasn’t done a single thing to help you and gives you a sheepish smile before muttering a small apology.

The next half an hour is filled with Baekhyun joking with you, filling you in on his past week, and overall, remembering you were still in the room with him. (Yes, you were being bitter.) He did his best to ignore his phone through cooking and even through dinner, but his eyes slid to it every time there was a ding… and there were a lot of dings.

Once it’s time to settle down and watch a movie, you choose a movie that you and Baekhyun had both been wanting to watch and settle down on the couch next to him. You lay your head against his shoulder and begin watching the movie, but it doesn’t take long for you to feel slight movement beneath your head.

You look over at Baekhyun’s other side and see him responding to a text from Maya. You mentally sigh and sit up, putting your focus back on the movie in front of you. Though, now your attention is derailed because you keep seeing Baekhyun texting from the corner of your eye.

“Wow. That was crazy.” You suddenly say, pretending you’re talking about something that happened in the movie. When he doesn’t even hear you, you try again. “I can’t believe the sister did that.”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah.” He mumbles in agreement, even though what you’re saying has no relevance to the movie whatsoever.

Hurt and disbelief flow through you once you realize Maya has somehow come in between your date night again. That Baekhyun couldn’t even give you a couple of hours of his attention…

“Baek…” you wait until he acknowledges you. “Are you even gonna watch this movie?”

He looks up at you and blinks before looking at the tv. “Oh, I already watched this.”

You open and close your mouth a few times in a complete loss of words. What did he mean he already watched this? When? …Why? The two of you talked about watching it together when it came out…

“You’ve already seen it?”

“Mhmm. Maya and I needed a break the other day, and we both wanted to see it, so we watched it… but you can keep watching it. I don’t mind.”

You bite the inside of your cheek and try to keep the anger you feel in check. All you can do is laugh in disbelief and frustration. Of course. Of course, he watched it with her.

After the anger comes the sadness and hurt. The two of you were supposed to watch it together. He wasn’t supposed to go and watch it with someone else… It felt like Baekhyun was totally disregarding your feelings. Not just about the movie, but about everything at this point.

You sit in silence for another ten minutes before you get up. Your interest in the movie or watching Baekhyun continue to text Maya was long gone. You walk away from the couch without a single word to Baekhyun, and if you were honest, you don’t even think he noticed.

You trek into your shared bedroom and immediately start getting yourself ready for bed. You didn’t care how early it was or that you didn’t say anything to Baekhyun. You were just completely done with the day and wanted nothing more than to crawl under your covers and hibernate, so that’s exactly what you do.

You lay there and try to slip into a different reality, but your mind can’t escape from Baekhyun or Maya. It was like you wanted to torture yourself and replay every word and moment over and over again. This goes on for 20 minutes, and the only reason you can escape the continuous hell is because you hear the doorknob to the bedroom door turn.

You hold your breath and open your eyes to see Baekhyun slowly opening the bedroom door. He creeps in, taking in your covered form with a frown.

“Why did you leave?”

“I’m just tired, that’s all.”

He studies your face for a moment before crawling into bed with you. A part of you wants to turn away as a small form of punishment, but the other part of you just wanted attention from your boyfriend.

He wraps his arm around your back and drags your body toward him without any help from you. He pulls you close until your face is buried in his chest, and he brings his chin down on top of your head. You feel him adjust to kiss the top of your head before settling back down again.

“I’m sorry… I should’ve waited to watch the movie with you.”

You sigh. “Baekhyun, it’s not just about the movie… I’ve hardly seen or spoken to you in a week, and your face is always buried in your phone… That’s not okay…”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He immediately says while squeezing you tight. “I should’ve given you more attention, especially tonight when you tried so hard to give me a relaxing day… Do you forgive me?”

You ignore him because you aren’t entirely sure if you’re ready to forgive him yet, but Baekhyun knew how to always get his way. He nuzzles into your neck, and you feel his lips brush against your skin.

“Do you forgive me?”

“Okay, I’ll forgive you…” you quickly relent before he goes for a ticklish area, though the words seem meaningless at the moment.

You feel him smirk against your skin before he suggestively says, “Good… because you can have all of my attention right now if you want…”

“Baek…” you whine, definitely not wanting to give in with how he’s been acting lately.

He pushes you onto your back and crawls on top of you, pushing his legs in between yours. “Let me make it up to you, baby…”

Tagging: @gyukult @marovekian1 @making-me-blush @softforqiankun​ @sebootyforlife​ @nothingbutadeadesceane​ @cardtak​ @brie02​ @jungkooksworld18​ @insta1010​ @suhappysuho​ @purple-bell​ @sorrowinblood​ @softysuho​

[welshponies]

Breeding is fun, until it isn’t

A blog post today! It’s been a while, isn’t it? I haven’t been very active recently besides reblogging here and there. Even my influential sires series has been neglected. 

The reason for that is well, it’s breeding season! My favourite season of the year, perhaps. 

Breeding season in The Netherlands is hectic. There are stallion inspections, stallion shows, mare inspections, foal inspections, and of course, foaling and inseminations. Every week there is some kind of event that has an impact on the breeding season of that year. 

The system of approval in Europe is a good invention if you ask me. It becomes a vicious cycle of sorts; with an approved stud your foal gets (better) papers, papers have meaning in turn. With papers having more meaning, people find them more important and it becomes less marketable to sell a horse without papers, in return making it less attractive for people to breed without papers and therefore studs contributing to ‘backyard breeding’ less desirable. In the end, far less horses are kept as studs without needing to be so: if your stallion isn’t good enough to be approved, the majority of people just geld them for ease of keeping. 

There are some downsides, of course. I don’t always fully agree with the reasons why a stud doesn’t get approved. If you look at the KFPS for example, their gene pool is limited and they often are quite picky over things such as small white markings. Those stallions often do also get gelded, which limits the genetic diversity possibly even more. 

So why are papered horses so important? It simply makes it easier to track the history of your horse. Backyard breeding still exists here, you can never really eliminate it. However, the amount of poorly bred horses without any medical background is really a lot less. Of most horses, their background is known and recorded, family lines are thoroughly picked through and it’s easier to match your mare to a fitting stud if this much information is available on both your mare and the stallion you want to use. 

To use an example in KWPN breeding: certain lines are known to pass on difficult personalities, such as Jazz, Gribaldi and more. You are aware of this when you have a mare out of these lines and the choice is up to you if you want to put another sensitive line on her or if you want to breed a more easy-going foal by matching her to a line that is known to pass on a good, workable character.

But besides character, I would say the main upside is simply just medical. Papers with a pedigree doesn’t necessarily make a horse better or worth more, but what it does do is give you a complete rundown of their medical history. If you notice a lot of horses having soundness issues from a certain line, it’s safe to say that this line is passing something on you want to stay clear from. In Friesians, this is perhaps the MOST important aspect of breeding. Given all the genetical issues they already struggle with, you want to be sure you’re trying your damnest to breed a healthy foal.

Our mare, as an example, has eczema. We manage to breed healthy foals out of her — DNA tests confirmed and everything — simply because my family only matches her with sire lines that show no sign of health issues frequently passed on. She is DNA tested and so is the sire we used.

But sadly though, this doesn’t always guarantee success. Like I said, breeding is fun until it isn’t. Our mare gave birth to a beautiful young colt a few weeks ago, perfect as he looked. An improvement on his full sister in personality, long legs and a strong body. It’s ecstatic.

However, that didn’t last very long. After not being able to poop at all, he was rushed to the nearest clinic. They were supposed to flush him and we’d have him back. That would unfortunately never happen. Despite being about a week past her due date, our sweet mare had given birth to an incomplete foal; his bowels found no connection to his anus, and therefore it would’ve been impossible for him to live. They did what was best for the colt and euthanised him that same day.

Now, we have a beautiful, lively Dutch Warmblood filly as an orphan by her side. She accepted her immediately. The orphan unfortunately lost her mother quickly after birth. In some ways, it feels like it was meant to be. She is black, just like our Friesian, with long legs and a sweet character. It’s still bittersweet, though, as at the end of the day she won’t stay with us. I’m not going to watch a sister of Syb grow up; I’m not going to be able to train her in the future. And ultimately, our Uk knew she lost a baby. He was euthanised by her side and she stood by him calmly until they removed him and introduced Pup. At the end of all this, we’ll have empty hands and a mare with one less baby.

It would’ve been so perfect. A full, healthy sibling to Syb. But it wasn’t supposed to be. And that’s where breeding can be tragically sad.

[bffhreprise]

Best Friend For Hire Reprise, Entry 381

 “Not tired are you?” questioned Ariadne, who had been testing my abilities and helping me understand how to use them for hours.  There were differences between how to accomplish tasks, since Ariadne’s magic needed control of her emotions just as much as clear mental pictures, but her explanations really did help.

 “P-Processing.” I told her, wondering if she actually thought I ever grew tired.  I felt she should know better, considering she knew what I am.  At the moment, I was still revising her first lesson, current lesson, and all of the ones in-between as well as considering some other possibilities for my magic.  I was thankful to know that my weird ability to see other places wasn’t monstrous, since Ariadne could do it too, just not as well.  Part of my mind was still coming to terms with the idea that I had been subconsciously using magic my entire life.  Thankfully, Ariadne didn’t think I had inadvertently hurt anyone.

 “No, Dani, I don’t think you should make requests of Raine quite yet.  Let her keep practicing.” stated James in reply to something Dani had asked in her native tongue.  The musical language of her people was still beyond me without lessons, but a few words seemed to make sense to me.

 “But Daddy!  This would be practice!” she insisted in English.

 James switched to Dani’s native tongue, and Dani’s smile turned impish, a sure sign she had been caught being mischievous again.

 Alma took a few steps over to hug Dani from behind before saying, “Dani, behave.  Birthday girls get to make the requests here.”

 “I… d-don’t mind.” I told them, moving back and forth between where they were talking and where Ariadne was, not wanting Ariadne to think I was ignoring her.  I was aware of the vampire brothers watching me, probably unaccustomed to seeing someone in two different places, but playing with Papak had shown me that they were practically frozen in place compared with me, just like everyone else.

 Meanwhile, Ariadne was telling me about tricks she had discovered over the years to quickly diagnose health problems in different types of creatures.  I doubted some of the tricks would work quite as well for me, not having a couple thousand years of experience in recognizing different types of cellular damage, but she seemed confident that I’d get the hang of it.

 James was staring at Dani, whose smile only grew.

 “A playmate for Alberich!” she suggested, finally letting us know what she wanted.

 Alma sighed before saying, “She probably shouldn’t attempt life yet.”

 “Is that really possible?” questioned Maple.

 “Of course, though creating life takes far more energy than you’d probably expect.” replied Ariadne, having finally reached them.  “I certainly can’t recommend doing it until Raine is very confident in her abilities.  Getting something slightly off is very easy and potentially lethal for the new creature.”

 “What about creating an enhancement suit for Pufflewink?” suggested James, obviously thinking that Pufflewink could keep up that way.

 For several seconds, I considered different modifications to the suits, considering how cute they could look.  While considering cuteness, I also considered whether or not Pufflewink would feel comfortable.  Like all kitties, Pufflewink liked warmth, and the suits were designed to ensure a certain level of warmth.  Everyone else had adapted to the feel fairly quickly, so I imagined Pufflewink might as well.  After letting myself enjoy numerous scenarios of my kitty playing around in her new suit, I double-checked a rather important part of this idea, asking “I c-can?”

 James nodded, saying, “As long as Jarod doesn’t mind.”

 “That’s an awesome idea, man-slave!” insisted Emma, grinning broadly.

 “I’ll admit that I’m intrigued to see what spells go into these things.” commented Vito eagerly.

 “Suit design is a trade secret, so no giving it away to anyone.” stated Jarod loudly to be heard over everyone.  “Mila, would you mind adjusting the design for felines?”

 “Already optimizing the fiber configuration.” she replied, sounding amused.  “Master, mind if we borrow your office briefly?”

 “Feel free.  Raine, I think she wants you upstairs.” encouraged James, smiling as well.

 I nodded to him, and then went into the office.  Quest gladly accepted!  At the speed of Mila, the entire room transformed into screens for me to inspect with additional screens forming up from the tiny ball things that came out of the floor.  Everything from molecular composition of the substances involved to the details on how James’ spells interacted with the physical form were on display.

 Downstairs, James was commenting to Jarod “I hope you know that she’ll never forget the designs.”

 Jarod grinned broadly.  “And I hope you realize that I have many, many plans that could use her aid.”  He was doing his villain act again.  On one hand, he really was good at looking like an evil mastermind.  On the other hand, he was a good person and wouldn’t actually attempt anything evil.

 In the free time I had between taking in the different screens, I considered if I was really capable of meeting Jarod’s expectations.  Yes, I was learning to use my magic, but I didn’t have anywhere near Ariadne’s level of mastery.  Sure, the best way to get there was practicing, but what if I oopsed again?  Energy research could be dangerous.  Would I be able to contain things?  Maybe Jarod wanted safer experiments first…  He’d listen if I told him I wasn’t ready for anything dangerous, right?  More scenarios erupted in my mind, but I didn’t have faith in them.  Jarod was very nice, but he could also be a little… obsessive.

 “If she comes back with a finished suit, I’ll be most disappointed.” stated Vito with a frown.

 “No need to be disappointed.  I’ll gladly show you the spell.” James told him.  “I just ask that you don’t utilize it for your kind yet.”  When Vito nodded his agreement, James created his spell.

 For once, I really studied what went into the spell, committing the entire arrangement of energy to memory.  Though I didn’t have confidence in duplicating such effects with my own magic yet, I could arrange residual energy, just like the others.  Mila was already showing me modifications to the spell on some of the screens, having shown me a 3D model of it already.

 Emma sighed and said, “You guys really know how to bring down a party.”

 “We’re partying?” questioned Noelle, seeming to have forgotten the conical hat on her head.  She was so adorable, and I wondered what she was showing the others.  Sadly, her magic couldn’t affect me through my own magic, so I couldn’t see.

 “Yes.  Today’s Raine’s birthday.” replied Dejon with a patient smile.  He had been working with her lately.

 I mentally danced through the room I had already prepared for them as a couple, in hopes of them dating.  He liked her, paying far more attention to her than he had paid attention to anyone else, and she certainly seemed interested whenever she looked at him.  I put the new memory of them together in goofy party hats up on a shelf, admiring it.

 Noelle’s eyes brightened, happy as ever.  “I should tell her Happy Birthday!”

 I mentally thanked her again, adding another tally in my mind’s personal room for her under the times she wished me a happy birthday today as I continued studying and connecting all of the pieces Mila was feeding me.

 “She’s off making something for her cat at the moment.” explained Dejon.

 “She has a cat!?  I love cats!” she exclaimed excitedly.

 There was a whole section of Noelle’s private room in my mind dedicated to her playing with Pufflewink.  The adorableness delighted me.

 “Me too!” exclaimed Kayla, lifting up Alberich, who had been leaning against Alma’s leg for the past minute.

 Alberich was a very proud, very small lion, but he didn’t swipe at Kayla this time.  Through our chats, I had learned that Alma spoiled him far too much when he was young, which was probably why he could be a bit snooty.  Luckily, even Alberich found Noelle cute, affected by her magic just like most everyone else—poor James didn’t know what he was missing.  When Noelle pet him, I could imagine how easily Alberich recognized her delight.

 Not long after Noelle and Kayla started playing with Alberich, Mila informed everyone that I would be indisposed for several more minutes—she could only show me things so fast.  I would also need some time to practice before I would be satisfied.  Everyone but me went to the ballroom to dance instead of gaming for once.  There were more cat-themed party decorations in there, and I was determined to join them soon.

 After I finished the material that Mila had for me, I started asking her questions and was surprised to find she liked my ideas for a few modifications in the suit.  She had originally assumed that I would simply remove the suit whenever Pufflewink wanted to go potty, but agreed with me when I pointed out that my little kitty would probably get disoriented by the sudden loss of enhancements more than our friends did.  With a bit of work, we came up with some alterations that should work, and Mila found some additional cleaning spells she felt would be better suited for cats.  Four-hundred-and-seventy-two variations later, Mila and I were satisfied that we had a suit Pufflewink would like, so I fetched her and created the suit around her.

 The difference was notable as soon as I saw my little kitty move.  She was confused, but I talked to her and warned her she’d need to be a little more careful.  Mila insisted the difference in strength and speed was considerable, so I took her word for it.  Satisfied that Pufflewink was happy, I took her down to join the others, dancing along with her in my arms.

 Mila felt the need to stick a spotlight on me the moment I arrived, but I didn’t mind.  James and Alma came over to examine the suit.

 “Were you successful?” he asked.

 “M-Maybe.” I replied, not as confident as Mila.

 He grinned as he said, “We should test it later before Alberich and Pufflewink play too much together.”

 I nodded in agreement.  Pufflewink would need more time to adjust to her new abilities.  “I-I should… visit… with… Ariadne.” I told him after considering a number of scenarios where Ariadne examined my kitty to make sure the enhancement suit was agreeing with her.

 When James and Alma moved to hug me, I was surprised, but I only considered dodging for a very brief moment.  I did like hugs, and neither of them would accidentally squeeze Pufflewink too hard.

 “I hope you’re having a wonderful birthday, Raine.” stated James as he hugged me.

 I nodded and smiled at my friends, telling them “B-Best ever.”

 “No.” stated James, making me consider what was wrong.  He then clarified “We plan to make each one better.”

 I probably stared at him too long when he said that and nearly let myself cry.  James was such a kind, wonderful person, and I would be grateful to him forever.  I was certain he underestimated how much he had done for me—modest as he was—but giving me a home where I am accepted, despite what I am, was already the best present I could receive in a lifetime.

[ibijau]

Jin Rusong Lives pt 13 / On AO3

Nie Huaisang investigates

“What do you mean he was taken?” Nie Huaisang snarled, tightening his grip on his disciple’s collar.

“I don't know, I was just on duty at the gate!" the man said. "They arrived and said to warn you right away while they get checked by Nie Zhilan, I don’t know what happened! They just told me he’s gone, and Jin Yixin too.”

Nie Huaisang pushed the man out of the way and ran toward the infirmary. He thought he heard Lan Xichen call his name, but ignored it, filled with terror over Jin Rusong’s fate.

He should never have allowed the child to leave the Unclean Realm, not even under surveillance, not even to a place so close. Jin Guangyao had left too many enemies behind them, and most of those didn’t have Nie Huaisang’s fondness for his son. Why should they? Jin Guangyao had ordered entire sects killed, people had lost sons, daughters, grandchildren, it was only natural they'd want the same to happen to their enemy's child. Nie Huaisang was the last person with a right to blame others for their dreams of revenge, and yet in this case, he could not allow it. 

Jin Rusong was family, just as surely as his brother, or his sect, or even Lan Xichen. They were all his and he would set the world on fire if anything happened to that child.

On the way to the infirmary, Nie Huaisang spotted Nie Funyu on the training ground. His first disciple looked surprised at first, then concerned when Nie Huaisang barked that lessons for the day were cancelled. He was a smart man though, and when his sect leader ordered that the distress signal Wen Ning had left them be used immediately, Nie Funyu asked no question and ran to obey.

There were four men in the infirmary when Nie Huaisang got there, as well as Nie Zhilan who had a severe look on her face. The first thing that came to Nie Huaisang’s mind when he saw those men was that they were not, and by far, the strongest cultivators to be found in the Unclean Realm. They were good, friendly people, and as large as most Nie disciples were, but their skill was nothing spectacular. Of course, it was Nie Huaisang’s own fault if Jin Yixin hadn’t picked anyone more capable to come with her and her student. If he hadn’t been so distracted, he’d have told her exactly who to take with her instead of leaving that to her own judgement. How could she have known who to trust, when she'd mixed so little with others?

Out of those four men, Qian Zhixian was the one in best shape, though he still had a number of bruises, and appeared to have trouble with one elbow. The others were more seriously injured, with one at least having a bleeding gash on his forehead, and another whose leg might have been broken. Qian Zhixian gave an awkward, one handed bow to his sect leader, and dared not meet Nie Huaisang’s eyes.

“Zongzhu, we have failed you.”

“You have. What happened?”

All four men winced at his tone, but Qian Zhixian started explaining. Everything had gone well at first, they’d reached that little field without trouble, and Jin Yixin had started her lesson. At one point, she had asked the four Nie disciples to walk a little further away, so she could explain certain things that pertained to the Jin sect’s particular way of cultivating. They’d done so without question, respecting the need for secrecy in these things, and had spread out in the field so they could continue keeping an eye on every direction.

As far as they could tell, all four of them had been attacked at the same time, though they were not quite sure who, or what, had attacked them, their opponents shrouded in dark mist to hide their identity. The fight had been too hard for them, and they all went down with shameful speed, losing consciousness for a while. Qian Zhixian had been the first to wake up again, since he hadn’t been hit quite as hard, and he’d quickly woken up his companions as well.

“We’d have sent a signal,” Qian Zhixian said when Nie Huaisang’s glare intensified, “but whoever ambushed us took them from us. So we came back as fast as we could, and gave the alert.”

“What about Jin Yixin? Where was she while you were fighting?”

“We don’t know. Since she was gone too, we think maybe she tried to protect the little boy, and whoever took him had to take her too.”

“Hm. When Nie Zhilan is done healing you, report to Nie Funyu for punishment,” Nie Huaisang ordered. “I will not be disappointed again. Did you look around at all for any clues before returning here?”

“We thought it was more important to give the alarm, zongzhu.”

Nie Huaisang cursed. If he’d been there, he would have sent one man to raise the alarm, and asked the others to search their surroundings, in case whoever took Jin Rusong had left some traces of their identity. Not that he thought those four were the sort who would have noticed anything. Good, kind men, but hardly sharp. If he’d been there, if he hadn’t stupidly trusted others…

“I’ll deal with you four later,” Nie Huaisang decided. “If you remember anything of importance, send someone to warn me. I’m going to inspect that field myself.”

Without another look at his disciples, he stormed out of the infirmary.

That was why he’d worked alone all these years. There were good people in his sect, loyal and strong and most of them kind, but they just weren’t cut out for the sort of world that Jin Guangyao had created, the world they were still dealing with. Everyone around him was just too honest, and stupidly assumed that others were as well. Honesty was all nice and well, but Nie Huaisang couldn’t count on people who didn’t even think to…

“Huaisang!” Lan Xichen called, running up to him just as he was about to reach the main gate. He was breathless and pale, as if the news had undone what several weeks of rest had restored of his health.

“He’s disappeared,” Nie Huaisang coldly said when Lan Xichen had reached him. “Jin Yixin too. I’m going to see if I find any clues.”

Lan Xichen startled, but nodded.

“I’m coming too.”

“In your state?” Nie Huaisang sneered. “What good will you be? It’s my fault if this happened, I’ll deal with it. Go rest, I can do this on my own.”

Lan Xichen grew paler yet, but when Nie Huaisang tried to move, Lan Xichen caught him by the wrist with surprising strength for a man looking so exhausted.

“I’m coming too. If you’re responsible, then so am I. If you’re going to look for him, so am I.”

“That’s not…”

“Don’t push me away again,” Lan Xichen pleaded, tightening his grip. “You don’t have to do it alone this time.”

Years of habit screamed in Nie Huaisang’s mind, telling him not to rely on others, not to get anyone involved in his business, least of all Lan Xichen whose honesty and determination to do things properly could only lead to disaster.

But Lan Xichen was right there, just as worried about what had happened to Jin Rusong, eager to help get their little boy back. And he was theirs now, at least for the time being. Their child, in danger.

Of course Nie Huaisang couldn’t do that alone.

“Then let’s go,” Nie Huaisang said, freeing his wrist so he could hold Lan Xichen’s hand and give him support as they left the Unclean Realm. 

-

Just as Nie Huaisang remembered, the field mentioned by Jin Yixin was quite close to the Unclean Realm, and visible from its walls. The attack might have been noticed if patrols had been more frequent, which told him he’d need to do something about that.

In Nie Mingjue’s days, the walls would have been guarded constantly, in all directions. In Nie Mingjue’s days, something like this could never have happened. 

“There are signs of struggle here,” Wen Ning noted quietly. “Not very strong ones, but it's there anyway, look..”

He had joined them as they were walking toward the field, explaining that he’d sent Lan Sizhui to warn Jin Rulan there was a problem as soon as they’d seen the signal. Hopefully, both boys would be there by morning.

It would not be pleasant to explain to Jin Rulan what had happened, nor what Nie Huaisang was starting to suspect about the situation. But he wouldn't throw accusations until he was sure of himself. The last thing they needed after such a mess was a diplomatic incident.

“There are only those weak signs,” Nie Huaisang remarked, coming closer to Wen Ning to look again. “Jin Rusong, no doubt. Whatever happened, he did not wish to go. But as for Jin Yixin…”

There was no sign of serious fighting in the spot where Jin Yixin and Jin Rusong would have stood when the attack occurred. Aside from the grass being slightly flattened in two places, leaving indents too small to have come from anyone but Jin Rusong, nothing was amiss. Odd, when she'd more than proven she was a very strong fighter.

“They might have knocked her unconscious right away,” Lan Xichen suggested, sitting on a rock, the walk to the field having been a little too much for him.

Nie Huaisang threw him a look. Lan Xichen grimaced, and shook his head.

“I also find it unlikely,” he admitted. “Unless they neutralised her in such a manner that she couldn't fight them off at all, and yet didn't fall either… But if she wasn't attacked, then it means she allowed all this to happen, and either ran away on her own or left with the kidnappers. Why would she do that? Didn’t you say that Jin Rulan vouched for her?”

“People’s trust can be misplaced,” Nie Huaisang retorted bitterly. “And I didn’t get to know her well enough to make an opinion regarding her personality. She made no effort to mix with us, and I was too preoccupied by other matters to go against her wishes. I should have seen something was strange! I should have guessed, there must have been signs…”

With some effort, Lan Xichen rose from his improvised seat and went to join the other two.

“I shouldn’t have let them come here today,” Nie Huaisang said while Lan Xichen took his hand. “I should have been more careful. To make a mistake like that…”

“It’s probably not that bad,” Wen Ning said. “They could have killed him, but they just kidnapped him. Whoever took him might just want to use him as a bargaining chip against you or Jin Rulan.”

“That’s not as reassuring as you think,” Nie Huaisang snapped.

“It should be. A hostage can be freed, a corpse can’t be saved,” Wen Ning pointed out. Then, remembering his own situation, he sheepishly added: “Not usually, anyway.”

Nie Huaisang felt Lan Xichen shiver, while he thought he might faint, clutching too hard at each other's hand, both thinking of the last time Jin Rusong had gone missing. 

It had only been a very short while back then, and he'd been in Jinlin Tai with his family, all of his father's sect, as well as some prestigious guests. Nie Huaisang remembered that nobody had been particularly worried when they realised they hadn't seen the little boy in a while and started looking for him. He couldn't have gone very far, they'd all thought, and with so many people present, he'd be spotted soon. 

They'd been right. They'd found his body very quickly, and very near. Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen had been close by when Qin Su had screamed, and they'd seen that little boy they loved so much, lifeless on the floor of a small room near the hall where they'd been having a banquet. 

They'd all been drinking and laughing, while he died alone. 

Nie Huaisang could not go through that again. It would kill him if it happened again, and under his watch this time. 

"It's getting dark, you two won't be able to do much," Wen Ning remarked. "Go back inside, get some rest. I'll continue looking around in case they left some traces while escaping." 

It was the sensible thing to do, but Nie Huaisang had half a mind to keep looking as well. It just didn't feel right to merely go sleep, not when poor Jin Rusong was among strangers and likely terrified. 

If he had been alone, Nie Huaisang would have continued looking too. But Lan Xichen was there as well, shaken by the shock of that incident, still not fully recovered from his too harsh seclusion. If Nie Huaisang did not care about himself, he worried about Lan Xichen's well-being, and he knew the other man would refuse to return to the Unclean Realm alone. 

That either of them could sleep seemed unlikely, but if they managed to rest they would be of more use, should morning bring any news. 

-

After threats from Nie Zhilan, Lan Xichen reluctantly took some medicine to help him catch some sleep. Nie Zhilan was furious at him for exerting himself beyond what she'd allowed, and equally angry at Nie Huaisang for not preventing it. As Lan Xichen drifted to sleep, in Nie Huaisang’s bed rather than his own so he could be reached quicker if something happened, Nie Zhilan threatened to force feed her sect leader that same medicine as punishment, only dropping the matter when he made it clear he was in no mood for a playful argument. Nie Huaisang even managed to obtain a different medicine to wake Lan Xichen up, in case the first one had not naturally worn off by the time Jin Rulan and Lan Sizhui arrived. 

In the end, it was not necessary. Shortly after Lan Xichen woke up on his own, the two young men were directed to Nie Huaisang's private quarters. 

"You were supposed to look after him!" Jin Rulan exploded as he rushed inside the room. "And now your disciples tell me Rusong's been kidnapped?" 

Coming in after him, Lan Sizhui looked calmer, but equally unhappy. He frowned at the sight of Lan Xichen still laying in Nie Huaisang’s bed, and that hint of judgment, combined with the exhaustion of a sleepless night, and the guilt of failure, got the better of Nie Huaisang. 

"I was supposed to look after him, and Jin zongzhu was supposed to send a trustworthy teacher!" he snapped. "Every sign indicates that Jin Yixin helped his kidnappers, and is probably hiding with them right now." 

"She'd never do that!" Jin Rusong retorted. "Jin Yixin is a well respected elder! Uncle Jiang and me checked her background carefully before selecting her! She's always dedicated herself to teaching, never meddled with politics if she could avoid it. And she had a very good relationship with Qin Su, so she wouldn't hurt her son."

"You'd be surprised what people would do to their friends." 

"They weren't just friends! Jin Yixin and Qin Su are cousins, so she's family, she could never hurt Rusong." 

"I think Jin Guangyao proved well enough that family… wait, cousins ?"

Arms crossed on his chest, Jin Rulan nodded firmly while Nie Huaisang stared, too tired to make sense of that new revelation.

"Something close to that anyway,” Jin Rulan explain. “I think she might actually be Qin Cangye's cousin? But they're related anyway. I'd forgotten about it when we thought of asking her, but she told us she'd be happy to help her family, so obviously she can't have…" 

"Jin Rulan, you're an idiot," Nie Huaisang cut him. "And I'm an imbecile. Qin Cangye! Of course!" 

Lan Xichen slowly sat up on the bed, still groggy from the medicine he’d taken but looking agitated by the news.

"Did anyone warn him about Rusong?" he slurred. 

"I didn't think it concerned him," Jin Rulan said. "Rusong isn't his real grandson, is he? Uncle Jiang agreed, too." 

"You were raised in Lanling, so I'll excuse you for being stupid about family," Nie Huaisang said, starting to pace the room. "But your uncle should have known better, and me as well. Qin Cangye is a proud man, and he’s refused to believe what was revealed about his wife. Of course he’d do something if he learned Rusong is alive!”

Nie Huaisang stopped his pacing, and cursed. That was another reason he’d worked alone all these years. He was too sentimental. Having people he loved close-by made him distracted and stupid. If Jin Rusong hadn’t been living with him, Nie Huaisang would have been less emotional in the instance of a disappearance, and might have guessed right away that the Qin sect could be involved. If Lan Xichen hadn’t been there, he wouldn’t have been so careless. Emotions made him weaker, and impulsive to the point of stupidity.

“Qin Cangye is an honest man,” Lan Xichen softly pointed out. “He rarely visited Jinlin Tai because he had a dislike of Jin Guangyao, but I think he was very fond of his grandson. If he has Rusong, at least we know he’s safe.”

“Qin Cangye is a decent enough man, but we can’t be sure he’s the one who orchestrated this,” Nie Huaisang retorted. “His sons might be less than enthusiastic at the news that Jin Rusong is alive. They'd have preferred to see him dead rather than have a living proof of their mother's shame. And if his grandfather insists on treating him as family, then he’ll get a share of inheritance someday. After such a miracle, he might even get preferential treatment over Qin Cangye’s other grandchildren, just because he had the good luck to survive. The Qin sect can be just as cut-throat as Lanling Jin when there’s money involved.”

“I’m right here!” Jin Ling complained.

Nie Huaisang turned to glare at him.

“You are, and I’m furious at you! You should have told me Jin Yixin was related to the Qin!”

“I didn’t think it mattered.”

“You didn’t think at all!” Nie Huaisang exploded. “You didn’t think when you decided to heal Jin Rusong and revive him! You didn’t think when you let him wake up among strangers, without a single familiar face to comfort him! You didn’t think when you sent him here, and you certainly didn’t think when you trusted that woman! And now Rusong could be in danger, he could come to great harm, he could die again, and I… I can’t… If I have to bury him again…”

A loud sob wracked through his body, leaving him breathless. He could still see Jin Rusong, lifeless and forced to die alone, still see his tomb so small and plain for having died too young. He’d burned incense for that child, and paper toys as well so he wouldn't get bored in the afterlife. He’d pitied Jin Guangyao when he’d thought it impossible to ever do that again, before hating him with renewed passion when he’d thought the man had killed his son. He’d missed Jin Rusong, and if he had to start missing him again…

Nie Huaisang hadn’t even realised that he’d fallen to his knees, not until Lan Xichen came to sit next to him and pulled him in his arms, holding him too tight.

“Nothing will happen to him this time,” Lan Xichen said while Nie Huaisang sobbed against his shoulder. “We’re going to make sure he’s safe, all of us. Do you hear me?” 

Nie Huaisang managed to nod, his tears already calming thanks to Lan Xichen’s soothing presence.

“You and Jin zongzhu are going to Laoling,” Lan Xichen continued. “If I were better, I’d go too, but there’s too much risk that I’ll be unwell and create more problems. So I’ll stay here, and help Nie Funyu if some news reach us, or if Wen Qiongling finds something.”

He paused, and looked at the two young men standing near them.

“Sizhui, how tired are you?”

“I can fly with them to Laoling, zongzhu,” Lan Sizhui immediately replied.

“And if I ask you to go to Yunmeng?” Lan Xichen asked. “I understand that Jiang Wanyin considers himself involved in the wellbeing of Jin Rusong, so he should be told what has happened. If nothing else, his reputation might scare the kidnappers into returning him to us. Everyone knows it is unwise to cross Sandu Shengshou, and he's sure to make a racket once he's aware of this.”

Lan Sizhui sighed at that request, clearly tired by his overnight trip to Lanling, but still nodded and bowed to his sect leader. Calming down at last, Nie Huaisang felt some pity for the young man, and some amount of doubt as well.

"I can send one of my disciples," he offered. “I'm sure I can find a fast flyer.”

"Is there anyone you trust enough for such a mission?" Lan Xichen countered. "Aside from Nie Funyu, who will need to hold the fort while you're gone?" 

"No, I suppose not." 

"I trust Lan Sizhui, and Jiang zongzhu knows him and will listen to him. Can that be enough for you?" 

It wasn't, not quite. Lan Xichen's trust had been misplaced before. But that Lan Sizhui boy was also dear to Lan Wangji, who wouldn't have wasted his affection on someone who wasn't righteous. 

Besides, Nie Huaisang didn't think that Jiang Cheng could be all that helpful, so ultimately it didn't really matter. 

"Fine, send him to Yunmeng," Nie Huaisang agreed, feeling guilty that he wasn't more trusting. But if Lan Xichen noticed his lack of enthusiasm, he said nothing, apparently satisfied that Nie Huaisang would allow this at all. 

With this course of action decided, things moved fast. Nie Funyu was informed of everything, while a light collation was served to everyone. As soon as they were done eating, Jin Rulan and Nie Huaisang left together in direction of Laoling, only taking a pair of Nie disciples with them in case it came to a fight. 

It felt like a longer flight than it was. Nobody would speak, Jin Rulan because he was tired, Nie Huaisang because even something this simple required great focus on his part. 

For once, his low cultivation was on his side. If he'd been able to fly his sabre more easily, Nie Huaisang's thoughts would have drifted to dark memories and pointless worries. Even like that, unwanted images of Jin Rusong's corpse, of the child alone and terrified, still plagued him and threatened to break his concentration more than once. 

When at last they approached the home of Laoling Qin, Nie Huaisang suggested that they try to fly over the sect's dwellings to see if they spotted anything unusual. It was a breach of decorum to spy that way, but Nie Huaisang had learned to be polite only when it suited him, and Jin Rulan was easily convinced. In spite of the errors the young man had made in this whole affair, Nie Huaisang found himself thinking that he liked Jin Rulan, if only because they both loved Jin Rusong. 

When they flew over Laoling Qin, Nie Huaisang did not expect to see much. It would have been foolish to kidnap Jin Rusong and let him wander around for all to see. If it had been him doing this, he'd have taken the little boy somewhere secluded, at least for a few days. If it had been him... And yet when Jin Rulan cried out and pointed down at a tiny shape far below them, Nie Huaisang nearly fainted when he too noticed a small dark green shape among all those wearing Qin colours. 

Without thinking, Nie Huaisang angled his sabre down, descending toward the inner courtyard of that house at greater speed than was wise for such a weak flyer. He only barely managed to avoid crashing and stumbled off his sabre without grace, while Jin Rulan landed just behind him with far more control. 

Around them, a number of Qin disciples, after recovering from the surprise of that intrusion, drew their swords, ready for a fight. Nie Huaisang paid them no mind, all his attention on three figures ahead of him. One was a man well into his seventies, though excellent cultivation made him look barely any older than Nie Huaisang, who looked more annoyed than surprised or angry at this invasion. Next to Qin Cangye stood Jin Yixin, who had changed out of the Jin robes she'd worn during her stay in the Unclean Realm, now favouring Qin colours. And half hidden behind her legs was Jin Rusong, an expression of terror on his face. 

Seeing the little boy so scared, Nie Huaisang acted without thinking. He took one step toward the child, determined to scoop him up in his arms and take him home. But seeing him approach, Jin Rusong clung harder to Jin Yixin's legs, and screamed. 

“Don’t!” Jin Rusong cried out. “I don’t want to see you! You’re bad, uncle Nie! You’re bad and you killed mommy and daddy!”

[20moonchild21]

Gif by @btsbee

ꨄ∙๛Small Hands

Pairing: Min Yoongi x girlfriend!reader

Warning: mild swearing, too much fluff

Words: 1200+

☕︎ 𝓕𝓸𝓻 𝓓𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓪, because you have the cutest hands. I hope you like it ☕︎

@nuttykittypainter

ッ

๛ 匕нє σиє ωнєяє ѕнє нαѕ тιиу нαи∂ѕ ∙ꨄ

♕

"Uuuuuurrggggg!" Yoongi looked up from the book he was currently reading.

You were sitting at the table next to the sofa on which he was sitting, trying.....yeah, what were you even doing? When you came in, you held a towel, your nail polish box and some cotton pads in your arms, so he thought that you would make your nails. Instead, he heard you cursing ever few minutes.

At first, Yoongi ignored it. Sometimes it's fun to watch you struggling with something. Not because he was a bad boyfriend, but because you looked so cute with that pouted lips, narrowed eyes and yes, even that tiny curses that left you mouth sounded cute to him.

"UUUUURRRGGG!" He saw your face getting more and more frustrated, before you threw a cotton pad on the table. "I give it up! They will always look ugly!"

Carefully, he placed his book on the small table beside the sofa and stood up. As he reached the table, you were already crossing your arms over your chest and not looking up at him. Something you always do when you didn't want to admit that you suck at something. But he love it.

"What is it, nae sarang (my love)?" He asked as he sat down on the chair opposite of you. "Did you try to start a cursing contest, or what?"

He tried to joke, but when your eyes turned at him he stopped his giggling. Your eyes didn't look angry, but watery and your under lip began to tremble slightly.

"I am trying to do my fuc –" You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, before you started talking again. This time a little bit calmer. "I am trying to do my funking nails, but every time it looks ugly because my damn finger are so damn short, and it looks like I painted some damn sticks, because they are so short and crooked. And then I don't like it, because the polish is all over my finger, and I try it again but it just looks always the same."

As you spoke, your moved your hands wildly through the air, and Yoongi saw all the used cotton pads over the table.

When he looked at you again, he just couldn't hold back his smile. Once again, you had crossed your arm over your chest and looked at him frustrated.

"Do you think that is funny?" You asked a little bit confused.

"Actually...." He chuckled and reached over the table to grab you arm. He pulled it over the table and placed it carefully on the towel. "...Yes, I think it is very funny."

"What are you doing, Yongs?" You asked confused as he put the small bottle of blue nail polish next to your hand, but he never answered.

He just took your hand in his right hand and lifted it from the towel, and then he did something you would have never expected him to do.

He place a sweet kiss at the top of your hand, before he placed several smaller kisses further down until he reached your pinkie. Then he stopped and lifted the small lid of the nail polish.

"I love your tiny hands." He said and began to carefully put the polish onto you pinkie nail. "Because they look so damn cute when they cling to that mug I gave you. You always need two hands to hold it, but fuck...I love it, because you look so damn cute like that."

He finished the first finger and put the small brush back into the small bottle. Then he carefully pulled your hand up again and placed a sweet kiss to your ring finger.

"I love your tiny hands – " he stopped for a short moment to bring the blue painted brush to your nail again. "Because they look even tinier when you hold my hand. I love to hold your tiny, warm hands in mine, because that reminds me every time that I am the one that protects you from this big, bad world."

You both chuckled as he said this. Of couse he didn't think of you as weak or unable to protect yourself. But he also knew how much you loved that he was so much taller and stronger than you, because it made you feel safe in his arms.

"I love your tiny hands – " He kissed your middle finger, before he began to paint it's nail. " Because you always need both hands to cup may face when you pull me down to kiss you."

By now, your have long forgotten that damn nails. Yoongi was always the one that calmed you down when you are stressed. He was always the one that made you feel so loved when you feel insecure about your body, and you were so grateful to have this man at your side.

"I love your tiny hands –" He placed a kiss at your index finger. "Because you are the only person I know that actually manages to reach all the way down the Pringles can, and it amazes me every time."

Once again, the both of you broke out into small laughers. But even the small words made your heart flutter.

He took your thumb and placed a long kiss onto it, before he once again placed the small brush against it.

"Annnnd I love these tiny hands, because it is always super funny when you have absolute no chance to win thumb wrestling matches. I don't even have to do something, because your thumb is naturally under mine." He joked.

When he finished your left hand, you looked amazed at the result. Nothing of the polish was smeared about or around your nails and fingers. There were no leaks or uneven places.

"How do you learn this?" You asked your boyfriend as you inspected your nails closer, just to see that the nail polish is placed on them correctly.

Of course, you knew that he wouldn't answer such questions. Just as he didn't answer your questions after he braided your hairs, a while ago.

"A gentleman never tells." He smirked at you and reached for your right hand.

He repeated the whole procedure. He would kiss your finger, and place the polish on it while he told you why he loved your hands.

After about 10 minutes, he reached you last finger. Once again, he kissed it and placed the brush on the nail.

"An lastly, I love these tiny hands because they make anything, and with anything I mean anything, – " he looked deep into your eyes, before he cocked his eyebrows up two times.

" – look big."

Your knew exactly what he meant, and even though the two of you were together for several years it made you blush heavily.

"You are unbelievable, Yongs." You said as you shake your head slightly. "Just when the moment was romantic, you have to bring a dirty joke. If it had at least been your joke, but no, you stole it from The Big Bang Theory."

By now, the two of you were laughing hard.

"But seriously." You said and inspected your nails closely. "Thank you, Yoongi. My nails look better than anytime they have before."

When the polish was dry, you walked around the table and sat down on his lap with both leg dangling on either side of his body. Your hands came up to cup his jaw.

"Thank you for making me feel loved." You whisper as you leaned your forehead against his. "Saranghae (I love you), Min Yoongi. So damn much."

He leaned in and whispered a 'saranghae' back, before his lips met yours.

——————————////——————————

Hi,

So, this was my first imagine. I had so much fun writing this.

Aaaannnd today is Christmas Eve.

So I have a message for you:

Please remember, that in this world there are so much more important things than money and power. Be grateful for your family, your health and that you can live in peace, because there are people in this world who don't have this.

We all are only human. We make mistakes, we  sometimes make wrong decisions and we all have to learn to forgive and show some respect to each other.

I hope you all have a great time, even under this circumstances.

⎈happy⎈ho⎈day

Mꨄ

[rpmemes-galore]

a few people wanted to know the story, so enjoy.  fair warning, its a long, rough read, with a buncha triggers possible throughout.   but hey, hey, enjoy, i guess?  will probs end up deleting this later today and gonna work on memes.  hope y’all are doing okay, take care. 

My relationship with my older brother has always been really... rocky. Without going into too much potentially triggering detail, he hurt me a lot when I was younger, so there's a lot of fear surrounding him. Saying that now as the reason for why I could never stand up to him for this.

A few years ago, my family decided that someone should move into our late grandparents home to look after the place, and I immediately volunteered. I loved that home, that farm. There were a ton of good memories there, and I was so excited when my family agreed. But, then my health took a downward turn and it was decided I couldn't live alone due to safety reasons. Enter, my older brother. He was in his late twenties at the time, and parents wanted him to finally move out, so they said he was going to come live with me there to keep an eye on me in case something happened. I wasn't happy about it, but he was the only one who could, and the only way I'd get to live at my late grandparent's place, so I agreed to it.

Right from the start, things were not great. He didn't help unbox anything except for his own belongings... No kitchen stuff, no bathroom stuff, just his clothes and computer. As it was just me doing it, and with my fragile health at the time, it was taking me a long while to get it all done. And that's when my aunt thought it was a great idea to start doing weekly visits, i.e. inspections of the place. She got pissed when she saw things still boxed up after a week of being there, but told me she was willing to look past it if it got put away soon.

I busted my butt getting everything put away, then. But I was contending with other issues at that point. He'd started messing up the house. I would wake up to find garbage and crumbs across the kitchen counters and table, dirty dishes dropped wherever he was closest to, and his dirty laundry dropped on the living room floor. His room started getting bad, as well. From about a month of being there, it started to stink. I went in a few times and there would be dishes with rotting food on his dresser. The floor was covered in a layer of food wrappers and other garbage. Dirty laundry was thrown everywhere. His game discs, which we'll come back to later, would be laying unprotected on the floor.

It just got worse from there. At the start, he'd tidy up a little bit after himself. If I asked politely enough, he'd throw garbage away or bring his dishes out of the room... only if I asked him. Three months in. That changed. He started getting snippy at me, slamming and locking his door if I asked him to do anything around the house. His messes were getting worse, and it was just me trying to play catch-up everyday. It got to the point my morning routine was wake up, head out to the kitchen while picking up any dirty laundry / garbage on the way, gather up dirty dishes from around the room and put them on the counter to wash, wash a few of them just to get a headstart, wipe crumbs off all counters and table, wash the rest of the dishes (I still don't understand how he could use so many in a single night), sweep floors if the crumb situation was bad enough. All this before I'd allow myself to have anything to eat or drink, due to sheer panic of my aunt stopping by unannounced again and seeing the place in this state.

My brother was working a very part time job at the time and, as soon as he left for his shift, I would pounce on his room. I'd haul out armfuls (plural) of dirty dishes which I'd then hurry to wash, I'd carry out at least one full, heavy duty garbage bag of trash. I would try to make his bed after brushing off the crumbs. All this in the few hours I had before he'd get back home. And he would always get incredibly pissed at me for it, which I understand. I know it was an invasion of privacy and, if not for the aunt, I wouldn't have done it... But the state of his room was going to get us both evicted, so I felt justified doing it.

It went on this way for a year and half. During that time, he made me bring his game discs in to get them fixed, had me pay for them, and never paid me back. I wound up in the emergency room on three separate occasions, all due to working myself to the point of over-exhaustion and aggravating already pre-existing health problems. Once, when I was away for a few days, he'd turned my room into a storage room. Ie, he threw all his laundry and belongings on my bedroom floor because he didn't want to deal with them. I wound up having to sort through it and pick it all up. He moved the landline phone into his room, essentially cutting off my contact to the outside world behind a locked door as my cellphone barely had any service there. He took food money from me, against my will, to buy his own... Would eat part of it and let the rest rot in the fridge until I cleaned it out. (important note, I have a lot of dietary restrictions. So it's not like I could just snack on it or share it with him. I just had to deal with him basically stealing my food money, then wasting it on food I couldn't even eat.) He would lock himself in his room anytime the aunt came by, making me have to face her wrath on my own, because I had no lock on my door, and I wasn't allowed to put one on. He would barge into my room uninvited, but get pissed if I went into his. He would expect me to play video games with him and throw a fit if I said no, even after I explained that I had too much cleaning to do and, if he really wanted me to play with him, he would have to lend a hand so it would be done quicker and I might have energy to play. He never did. He wouldn't empty out our cat's wet food and would just let it go moldy if I wasn't there for a few days... and would 'forget' to refill her water.

The only jobs he was expected to do around the house were emptying the cat litter for our one cat and vacuuming, both things I physically couldn't do because of severe asthma. And once a week, he was supposed to bring laundry over to our parents place to wash, as we didn't have a washer or dryer. I remember him vacuuming once the whole time we were there. He rarely emptied the cat litter, which meant I would wind up having to do it once in a while and just suffer through a serious asthma attack afterwards. He also rarely brought the laundry over. I wasn't able to drive, so I would wind up having to ask my mom to bring it over with her when she visited. Three jobs. He hardly ever did any of them, but still expected the house to be clean when our aunt stopped by and would be upset if it wasn't. He just didn't want to have a hand in getting it that way.

On the subject of other family, I tried reaching out. My parents would visit on occasion. They both knew how bad it got, they'd seen it at the worst. I'd even called my mom in a full crying panic more than once, when the aunt called in the morning to say she she'd be there in an hour... And the house wasn't clean. Mom had to come over and help me speed clean it, with me working through a full-blown panic attack, scared I wouldn't have it "clean enough" by the time the aunt got there. Mom is also the one who drove me into the ER. She knew how bad it was, but he was her golden child. The "can do no wrong" child, and I was always the problem. She would tell me I was making it out worse than it was, that it wasn't that bad, that it wasn't his fault he was messy, that I should just deal with it and clean up after him. Dad would at least seem sorry for me. He'd tell me he wished my brother would clean up after himself, but that there was nothing he could do. Aunt just didn't want to hear my excuses. She would yell at me for the state of the place, after I'd worked myself half to death cleaning already. She blamed me for it, threatened to kick us out over every tiny thing wrong. Made passive aggressive comments. Took pictures and said she would show them to the rest of our relatives so they'd know how we were destroying the house, ect.

A year and a half of this. I lost a dangerous amount of weight. I hardly slept, hardly ate, anxiety spiked so badly I was having panic attacks at least once a week, especially toward the weekend when I knew the aunt was coming. All of my days were devoted to cleaning up after him. I dropped hobbies just to wash dishes or pick up his garbage. I even pulled an all-nighter just trying to make the house look presentable... After I'd been in the hospital and spent a few days at my parents place recuperating, so you can imagine the state of the house.

Toward the year and a half mark, I met my now husband. When we decided he should come spend the weekend, I was both happy and terrified. I worked myself to the point of passing out to make the place look decent. I asked my brother to help, told him we would be having company, and was met with a slamming door in my face while he went back to his video games. Now husband came up, we had a great time and chose to make it a weekly thing.

It was about a month into that when I went away for the weekend with my then bf. At this point, he kind of knew how bad it could get and just wanted to get me out of there for a few days. He'd even given my brother a piece of his mind for not emptying the cat litter and making me do it, because of my asthma. So brother hated him. Told me to break up with bf for being "rude" to him. Even called my mom to complain about it and it I got chewed out by my mom for "letting" my bf at the time talk to my brother that way. I was beyond sick of brothers bullcrap. I was exhausted. Had been in the ER just recently because of him, again, and needed to get away. Bf took me up to a cabin and we spent the weekend there, had an amazing time. And brought me home. From the second I stepped back into the farmhouse, I wanted to cry. It was an absolute disaster, like the brother had gone out of his way to destroy the place. So much garbage, laundry, dishes, ect. I said goodbye to the bf, who was horrified and reluctant to leave... And I started trying to make a dent in the horror show that was the house. It didn't take long for me to breakdown. When I called the bf that night to make sure he'd gotten home safe, I told him how bad it was. And he invited me to move in with him. I jumped at that chance for more reasons than one.

Brother took immediate issue with this. He threw a fit when I told him. Straight up told me I was being selfish, that I didn't appreciate all he did for me, that how dare I leave, how could I DARE to move in with someone who talked to him that way!! I just packed up a few of my things and went with the bf. Just like that. I was out.

It was three months before I went back to grab a few more of my things. In that time, brother had gotten an eviction notice from our aunt and was having to move back in with the parents. And I don't blame her one bit. Let me paint a picture for you of what I saw when I walked in the house: he'd run out of room for garbage on the counter and table, it was stacked too high, so.. he'd opened the oven, pulled the racks out and was piling garbage up on them, instead. Guess what the only place that didn't have garbage was... The pristine garbage can. The living room floor was covered in his dirty laundry. He had run out of clean dishes and resorted to using Tupperware lids as plates, with the dirty dishes covering the entire counter by the sink or stacked in his room. Speaking of, I caught a glance inside his room. The smell was worst in there. I could tell there was food in there from the time I left... Didn't try to take a step inside, obviously, not that there was a place to step. Keep in mind, this is AFTER the aunt had visited and demanded he cleaned up. She'd seen it this way, blew her top, and he still didn't give a crap. I, on the other hand, panicked. Call it ingrained at this point, but I started frantically cleaning. It was only my bf who stopped me. Had to actually grab my hands and hug me to get me to stop, with me hyperventilating and close to a panic attack. We got my things and got the hell out of there. But not before I noticed my brother seemed upset that I hadn't cleaned up while I was there.

Brother's living back with our parents and has trashed his room there. He's still pissy at me for calling him out on the way he treated me, and thinks I'm still required to be nice to him because mom says I should... and that he did absolutely nothing wrong with the way he behaved. He's also still holding a grudge against my hubby for him having the utter gall to tell him to be an adult and clean up after himself. Mom still denies it was bad (even though she's dealing with it now) or that I have anything residual from that time, despite the fact I told her that I get panicky and shaky when the place I'm living, now, gets even slightly untidy.

For me, I'm happier than I've ever been. I'm essentially no contact with my brother and limited contact with my mom. Just got married. Living with someone who loves me and actually helps with housework, even without being asked! Still dealing with the trauma of living in a place that felt THAT stressful and unsafe, but working on it. Not holding out much hope of brother realizing how entitled he was / is, but eh. He's not worth the time thinking about him.

[akarinittalovers]

•Nanaba Part I: Confessions

It was quite a boring day in the Survey Corps, there is nothing to do. No, saying that there is nothing to do is not correct, there are still many tasks to finish especially this early in the day. This was just all you do after being promoted as a squad commander. There was just a lot and a lot of paperwork especially in between expeditions like right now.

You let out a sigh as you finish another stack of paper for today. But still, your work here is far from over. You peek at other stacks of paper on your desk waiting to be done. You will be here for a while.

You place your head on the desk taking a short break. Honestly, you wanted to cry and just run away from all this, you would prefer to fight a titan than doing this. Suddenly you straighten up your back and slap both of your cheeks.

'No, we are fighting Titan so that we could live peacefully like this.' you thought to yourself.

With Your spirit renewed and you prepare to fulfill your duty to completion. But as you grabbed on the next paper to fill there are knocking on the door of your office. You are honestly a little pissed off by it but then again it might be something important or at least something that elevated your boredom and hopefully not an additional task.

You calmed and tidy yourself up before permitting whoever was outside of the door by saying "please come in."

After you say that the handle on the door moved downward and it's slowly open revealing a figure of the person who knocked. A short hair blonde woman, not very tall and she has a somewhat petite body.

"Excuse me." That person said before entering and closing the door behind her back.

You silently thank the heavens. The person who just enters your office is someone you actually want to see.

"Oh, Turn out its Nanaba." You said

"Is it a bad time, sir?."

You shook your head gently before the answer her. "Not really, I just finished part of my work though I still got some left."

"I see, hope I am not bothering you too much, sir." She said as she walks towards your desk. You are almost mesmerized by how gracefully she walked - Well, we are being honest here she just walked like a normal person but for you, she was as graceful as a butterfly. -

"Not at all, I'm glad you can come here, and could you stop calling me sir, please. Call me by my name."

"Eh?... Why not it sounds nice on you." She said as she moved aside your stack of paper and then she sits on your desk. "You deserve it, after all, Squad leader." She said teasingly.

You sighed tiredly as she let out a small laugh.

"I think you're the one who deserves to be promoted. Your skills are far better than mine after all." You said to her.

"Well, that is true. I am skilled and talented moreover I am cooler than you." She said in a teasing manner. But then her tone changes into something more serious. "Still, I think you will be a better leader than me. You are smart, courageous, and reliable. You've saved my life many times before, thank you for that." Nanaba said to you with a sweet and gentle smile.

As both of your eyes meet each other gaze your heart skipped a beat and you couldn't help but get flustered to her. It seems that Nanaba also experienced the same thing as you are since you could see a blush forming on her cheeks. To everyone surprised she was the first to avert her gaze.

That doesn't mean that your situation was any better though. Your heartbeat is very chaotic and it perfectly reflects your emotions right now. You cough at your fist as a way to calming yourself down.

"Well, we are comrades after all, and besides you also save mine countless, times before," you said. "Then tell me why are you came here?."

"Why?... No reason I just wanted to see you that all. You have been working all day and don't even come out of this room at all."

"All day?." You asked her.

"Yeah, it's already 8 pm. You haven't come out all day."

"What!? 8 pm?." You shouted at her. You then practically jump out of your work chair and run towards the window and open its thicks blind. The scenery you see outside of your window is shocking. Beautiful sunlight that illuminates the world is long gone and the recruit who is training in the field is nowhere to be seen. "Just how long have I been working here anyway?."

Seeing your shocked face Nanaba let out a laughed.

"Poor thing too focused on doing the task to forget the time. You shouldn't do that you know. Please take care of your health." She said while gently bonked your head. "Just take a rest, I'll make you some tea."

"Yeah, you are right thank you."

You return to your seat and resting your back on it. Your eyes followed Nanaba, seeing her made a hot tea for you. Just by seeing her like this was honestly enough to restore your energy.

Not long after that, she finished

making you tea and gave it to you.

"Here it is." She gave the teacup to you.

"Thanks." You take a teacup from her hand.

You relaxed your whole body as you began to take a sip from the teacup. The fragrant taste of the expensive tea began to fill your mouth. It was quite expensive tea that only rich merchants could buy. You only got your hand on this because you got a particularly generous discount and you got some money saved. Honestly, You rather saved this tea for special occasions but again since Nanaba was the one who made the tea its should be count as a special occasion right?.

You close your eyes trying to savor as much tea flavor as possible. Your mouth then let out an "Ahhh," as the tea wash down your throat filling it with a warm delight. Still, despite you being drowned out by pleasure, you couldn't help but notice a pair of eyes surveying your every movement.

You decide to see what's up with that and you saw it. Nanaba sitting at your desk, one of her hands holding her head in her hand. Her face is filled with a gentle yet beaming smile and Her gaze is fixated on you.

"Wha-." Before you could finish your word Nanaba hands already reached both sides of your cheeks, holding them quite tightly.

"You know, I lied to you," Nanaba said.

You who were still left speechless by her previous action started to wonder what does she meant by 'lied to you'. Just as your mind wonders about what going on, Nanaba pulls your face closer to her and places her lips into yours.

At that moment your wondering mind went blank and your body froze unable to move. All of your brainpower to focus on the tender feeling of her lips on yours. The sweet and gentle sensation flooded your senses.

The kiss lasted for a few seconds that felt like an eternity. Though you would love it to last forever there are important that needed to be addressed first.

After Nanaba pulled away from your face and get her hands off your face, you placed your hands on her shoulders. The expression on your face was hideous, it was a combination of scared, disbelief, and panic. But as hideous as it was your expression right now perfectly mirrors your heart.

"Wh- Wh- What are you doing Nanaba?."

"I got tired," Nanaba said.

"Tired?." You tilt your head slightly in confusion.

"Well, the thing is I knew that you had a crush on me, and I also kind of liked you. So I decided to if you confessed to me I would accept it. But I am stupid thinking that way. We are members of the survey corps we don't know when we are gonna die. I couldn't just sit around waiting for you to come to me."

Nanaba breaks eye contact with you. You could notice a blush start to forming on her cheeks. The usual confident Nanaba now is nowhere to be seen and what replaces her was the vulnerable Nanaba. Honestly, you feel honored to have her showing that side of herself to you.

After taking a few deep breaths she looks you deep in your eyes, her face filled with conviction that she gonna do it right here, right now but still, it was quite evident that holding back her blush a lot.

"So that why I am betting everything on this," she said. while she was not screaming her tone was definitely louder than she usually was.  "I will live for you so please live on for me. I love you Y/N."

After hearing that you pulled Nanaba closer to you into a tight embrace. In response to your hug, Nanaba also wrapped her hand around your body and rested her head on your shoulder. Surprisingly but expectedly your shoulder where she places her head feels damp. She just let out all of the feelings to you and knowing her personality it was possibly her first time doing it, so it makes sense if she was overwhelmed by it.

"As expected your body is warm." She whispered to you. You also could feel her hands move around your back and petting your head.

"How did you know that I like you?." You asked her.

"I don't know, I lied. I just hope that you do like me. I- I am sorry if I am assuming your feelings, I am okay if- if you don't like me back but just don't hate me." She began to hold you even more tightly while holding back her tear.

You went and gently stroke her short blonde hair as a way to comfort her. "I never gonna hate you Nanaba. You were right I have had a crush on you ever since the first time we meet I want nothing more but to spend the rest of my life with you, to protect you. That is why I am joining the Survey Corps in the first place to be with you."

"So that why you join the Survey Corps, it is because of me." Nanaba looks you in the eyes once more. "Y/N, You dummy I don't need your protection." She bonked your head again "Well since you joined the Survey Corps because of me it's become my responsibility to protect you. Nanaba said teasingly and with a big smile.

"I look forward to being protected by you, Nanaba. I knew you are strong but still, I want to protect you as well."

"Let's promise we look for each other back. Like I said we live for each other." She said smiling.

"That a promise."

Both of you giggle at each other and then that giggle grew into a laugh but not long after that both of you went silent with eyes inspecting each other bodies. She is just perfect in your eyes from her short blonde hair, her majestic blue eyes, and her whole body and You are also as equally perfect in her eyes.

Both of your heads get closer once more. Nanaba could smell the sweet fragrant of the tea you had been drinking as she feels your breath and you also sense a fruity sense from her as her shadow began to cover your eyes. A what felt like an eternity later both of your mouths finally meet again as you went on a passionate kiss with your lover.

Your knees got weaker as you experience something that you always dream of but never actually believe you could do it. You hold on to her for balance while keeping both of your eyes closed so you could focus on one thing, your mouth.

Both of you pulled away from each other faces but both of your arms still squeezing one another bodies tightly. Both of you giggle at each other as your forehead touch against her's. The warm feeling of her breath and her very existence there bring you a sense of euphoria.

"Your mouth still has a sweet tea taste on it," Nanaba said as she released her hold over you and turn away walking towards the exit.

Feeling quite disappointed and confused you grabbed her hand holding her in place before asking. "Nanaba where are you going?."

She then turns her head towards you and answered. "Well, I would love to stay and spend a night here but we can't do it right now."

"Why is that." You asked her.

"Take a guess."

You do as she said and after a short deliberation later you came to a conclusion. Knowing her you are about 90% sure you came to the right conclusion.

"You came here to inform me that Erwin has summoned me to join the meeting at his office along with every high-ranking officer of the Survey Corps but instead of doing that you got carried away teasing me and somehow ended up confessing your love to me. Is that correct, Nanaba-san?." You said with a tired expression on your face.

"Oh wow, your guess is spot on. That amazing Y/N, I always knew you are smart but damn."

You let go of Nanaba hand and walked to your desk and fondle around the papers on it scanning it before choosing to be placed on the paper folder that you'll bring to Erwin.

"Guessing you was easy enough. Well, you go there first, I'll meet you there. I need to prepare the paperwork for the meeting first."

"I see, then see you there."

Nanaba waves her hand at you first before she began to walk away towards the door of your office. She then opens the door and steps outside of it but before she closed the door, she called out your name.

"Y/N..." You look at her. Her head peeks inside a half-closed door to your office, her hand is still on the handle. "I'll look forward to our next hand-to-hand combat training session." She said before closing the door with a wink.

Also available on Wattpad

[besanii]

Wait wait wait have I miss something!??! LXC has an empress already? And a heir on its way!?!? Wuuut? I love this au so much and your writing brigs so many emotions. It’s beautiful

Shattered Mirrors 52

[follows on from #24]

In his youth, Wei Wuxian had explored almost every nook and cranny of the Imperial Palace at Caiyi City—most of the time with permission, sometimes without—but he had never set foot in the inner court. The only men allowed in the inner court were the Emperor, the eunuchs and young princes not yet of age for their own residences outside the palace. Everyone else had to be granted permission, or be summoned by a member of the inner court, before they could enter. Even Lan Wangji, who had come of age not long before they met, was no exception. And with the previous Empress’s early passing and previous Emperor’s ill-health, the inner court had been all but empty for many years.

It’s strange now, sitting in the parlour of the Palace of Eternal Youth opposite the woman who now bears the title of Empress of Gusu Lan, being served tea and exchanging pleasantries like any other consort of an Imperial Family member.

“Huanghou-niangniang shows me great favour by summoning me here today,” he says politely. “I apologise for not being better prepared for this visit, but please accept this gift as a small token of our first meeting.”

He passes the box to the maid who brings it over to the Empress for inspection. Inside, there are two wooden figurines side-by-side, a tiger and a horse, intricately detailed down to the eyes on the tiger and the mane of the horse. He had spent days labouring over each one, carving them by hand from the finest sandalwood, painting on the details with bright colours he knows are attractive to children.

“This is a most thoughtful gift, Wei-gongzi,” the Empress tells him, admiring the figures by turn. Wei Wuxian inclines his head. “Are they toys for the princes?”

“Niangniang is too kind,” he says. “The workmanship is crude, but I thought the princes would enjoy playing with them.”

“Did you carve this yourself?” she asks, surprised. “This is very fine work indeed. I am impressed. Thank you very much.”

“Please, Niangniang, no thanks is necessary,” he demurs. “I only apologise I did not prepare a finer gift.”

The look she gives him is level and direct.

“The thought behind the gift is what is most important,” she says. Then the corners of her mouth pull into a smile. “And the princes are still young. They will appreciate your gift more than any expensive trinkets or rare plant or herb.”

She takes a sip of her tea and winks at him over the rim of the cup and he finds himself smiling back. He has never met the Empress even though she had already been Crown Princess before the war, but he knows her name is Nie Qiongyue, the younger cousin of Nie Mingjue from Qinghe, Gusu’s closest ally and Lan Xichen’s sworn brother-in-arms. When the time had come to choose a consort for Lan Xichen, she had been the first choice out of all the prospective matches from neighbouring kingdoms and within the Gusu nobility as well. Lan Wangji had always spoken highly of her, and Wei Wuxian is beginning to see why.

“May I speak frankly with you, Wei-gongzi?” she asks, setting aside her teacup.

“Of course, Niangniang,” he replies immediately, the very picture of attentiveness. “I am always happy to listen.”

She dismisses the servants with a wave of her hand and they retreat outside in silence, leaving them sitting alone in the parlour. He is not sure whether this is entirely appropriate—he is not yet a member of the Imperial family, and being a man, his presence within the inner court is already a point of contention. If Lan Qiren or any of the more conservative courtiers hear of this, there would undoubtedly be an uproar in court later in the day. But the Empress does not seem too bothered by the lack of decorum as her face settles into a more serious expression.

“I understand Wei-gongzi is acquainted with my cousin,” she begins, each word weighed carefully before she speaks. At his questioning frown, she elaborates: “Nie Huaisang. I understand that you were acquainted in your youth.”

He nods. “Yes, Niangniang, but we have no been in contact in recent years.”

“Is that so?” She sighs, idly arranging the hem of her robes where they fall in her lap. “My sources have indicated otherwise.”

“Niangniang…” He keeps his expression neutral. “I’m afraid I do not know what you mean.”

“I did not take you for a liar,” she says, voice sharp. He bows his head and says nothing. “I know you have your eyes inside the palace, Wei-tangzhu.”

He freezes. She drums her fingers on the table beside her teacup and fixes him with a level stare. He keeps his eyes trained on the floor, his mouth shut, his head bowed, even as his heart beats rapidly, painfully in his chest.

“You have hidden your identity well, it took me a while to work out who you were,” she continues, her mouth set in a firm line. “But Qinghe has our own eyes, our own ways of finding information when we need it.”

He clears his throat.

“And what will Huanghou-niangniang do with this information?” he asks as calmly as he can manage. “Will you tell Huangshang? Wangye?”

There is a long pause during which she reaches for her teacup again and takes a leisurely sip. The clink of the fine ceramic is deafeningly loud in the silence of the room when she sets it back down on the table again.

“I have not told anyone, and I do not plan to either,” she says finally. “We all have our reasons, our duties—things we must do, roles we must play, especially during the war. I do not begrudge you that. All I want to know is this: are you friend or foe?”

“Does Niangniang refer to Gusu or Qinghe?” he quips, raising his head to meet her eyes. She raises an eyebrow.

“Both,” she responds. “But also to Huangshang, and Wangye, personally. Can you be trusted, Wei Wuxian?”

He slips off the seat and sinks to the floor, his fingers clasped before him as he performs a low, formal bow.

“Huanghou-niangniang may rest assured that I have no intention of harming Gusu, Qinghe, Huangshang or Wangye,” he says. “I have relinquished my position long ago. Now, I am a simply an ordinary man with no influence or power.”

She snorts inelegantly, and picks up her tea again.

“You are anything but ordinary, Wei-gongzi,” she tells him, waving her free hand for him to rise again. “And I will hold you to your word.”

He smiles and picks up his own teacup.

“Huanghou-niangniang is wise,” he murmurs.

--

Notes:

Huanghou-niangniang (皇后娘娘) - her Majesty the Empress

Niangniang (娘娘) - my lady (used only for Imperial concubines or consorts)

LXC’s Empress is introduced! Her name is Nie Qiongyue (聂琼玥) and she’s NMJ’s younger cousin (older than NHS). She and NHS are both talented spymasters and part of the reason she married into Gusu was to support LXC as Crown Prince. Also because otherwise the other candidate was a woman from Lanling Jin and they never have good intentions. And also because she thought he was pretty and smart, but much too sweet for his own good, and wanted to make sure he had someone to support and protect him.

Master Post and ko-fi link on my sidebar!

[tiramisiyu]

【未定事件簿】Tears of Themis: Main Story 6-16 Translation

Translation Masterlist | Video

Chapter 6 – Tiger’s Accomplice Ghost (Parts 1, 2): 6-1 / 6-3 / 6-5 / 6-7 / 6-9 / 6-11 / 6-13 / 6-15 ♦️ ♦️  6-16 / 6-18 / 6-20 / 6-22 / 6-24 / 6-26 / 6-27 / 6-28 / 6-29

--

NXX Base

On Wednesday morning, Lu Jinghe pushed open the main door to the base’s meeting room.

Lu Jinghe: Hah, I haven’t seen wrong, right? You’re surprisingly here, Mo Yi.

Lu Jinghe lifted his hand and looked at his watch, his meaning self-evident.

Mo Yi: If I said that I have not slept all night, would you also run outside to see where the sun has risen from?

Lu Jinghe: That wouldn’t be necessary. No matter how the sun rises and sets, it all won’t affect me.

Xia Yan: Sure enough, the transmission of data on this wristband has problems.

As if he hadn’t heard Lu Jinghe’s and Mo Yi’s dialogue, only after Xia Yan had finished with the work in his hands did he greet Lu Jinghe.

Xia Yan: You came pretty early.

Xia Yan: Why are you dressed so formally? NXX doesn’t have formalwear work requirements, right.

Lu Jinghe: I’m about to go hold a board meeting at the company – just taking the time to come to the base first to check some materials.

Mo Yi: There are results on the wristband inspection?

Xia Yan: Mhmm. Based on the hardware, the wristband we got from Wang Han doesn’t have any differences from typical health wristbands.

Xia Yan: But looking at the direction of data transmission, it doesn’t only collect in the Heirson examination centre’s cloud health system.

Xia Yan: I’m still tracking the exact recipient address, and I’ve already set up a program to crack it.

Xia Yan: Although it’s hard to estimate how much more time needs to be spent for now.

Xia Yan: If the data flows outside of borders, the time spent on inspection will increase by several times.

Mo Yi: I’ve already done comparative screening through the night on the examination centre’s examination report you gave me yesterday.

Last night, Xia Yan cracked the Heirson examination centre’s encrypted database, getting an examination report that had been partially specifically encrypted.

Mo Yi: From just the chemical experiment indicators, I can preliminarily estimate that the portion of participants with abnormal mental states is very high.

Mo Yi: But there is a very large discrepancy with the severity of their symptoms and their exact illness.

Mo Yi: I did a simple comparison to the cases of abnormal mental states already listed in “X-Note” and was able to find some coinciding people.

Lu Jinghe: So for the next step, you intend to directly contact the people in the cases and investigate their relationship to Heirson?

Mo Yi: That’s right. If we consider Mu Ziyou as a single piece of evidence, we might be able to find more illness cases.

Xia Yan: Lu Jinghe, you… ss…

Xia Yan stood up from in front of the computer, and was about to walk towards Lu Jinghe when he suddenly clutched at his left waist and sucked in a breath.

Lu Jinghe: What happened to you?

Mo Yi: …

Xia Yan: I’m fine, I’m fine. I pulled a muscle from suddenly standing after sitting for a long time.

As he spoke, Xia Yan took out a subdivided medicine container, held up a cup, and ate two pills.

Mo Yi: I saw you eating this medicine last night. What does it treat?

Xia Yan: Medicine? Oh, you’re talking about this?

Xia Yan waved the medicine container.

Xia Yan: This isn’t medicine to treat illnesses. It’s used to wake me up – a Ministry of Security secret formula.

Xia Yan: Agents are also normal people; we’ll also get tired if we haven’t slept all night.

Mo Yi: …

Lu Jinghe: Could you give me two pills? I slept late yesterday, and if I fall asleep at the board meeting later, I’m afraid I’ll get on the news again.

Xia Yan: I can let you eat some, but I can’t let you take the medicine away.

Xia Yan: Who knows if you’ll take it to Pax Pharmaceuticals to analyze the formula and mass produce it? Then I’ll have leaked its secrets.

Lu Jinghe: Aiya, you saw through me. Then I won’t randomly eat those medicines.

Lu Jinghe’s words were said meaningfully, and he also specifically shot a glance at Xia Yan’s medicine container at the end.

Xia Yan: How about you talk about the investigation progress on your side of things.

Lu Jinghe: With Heirson manufacturing illegal medications, Qin Shan wouldn’t be the only person in the know in the entire company.

Lu Jinghe: The backbones of the company, his aides, would probably know.

Lu Jinghe: It’s very hard for Qin Shan to regain consciousness now. I plan to start by checking on the people around him.

Lu Jinghe: And I also have an initial direction regarding exactly how Qin Shan was “poisoned”.

Lu Jinghe took out his phone and displayed a news article on its screen.

Mo Yi: The incident of Heirson staff members jumping from a building?

Lu Jinghe: Correct. A few years ago, news on Heirson factory staff committing suicide due to unbearable work pressure were revealed, one after another, online.

Lu Jinghe: But it seems like it was all heavy thunder with little rainfall. After the news passed its peak, no one ever mentioned it again.

Lu Jinghe: Zuo Ran’s been tracking the Xu Ping case this whole time. Xu Ping was also a Heirson staff member, and he also committed suicide.

Lu Jinghe: Then could there also be something strange about Heirson’s suicide cases from before?

Lu Jinghe: I came to the base because I wanted to check if I could find a list of names on related staff members.

Xia Yan: Speaking of which, we don’t know how the investigation on Zuo Ran’s side is going.

Just as the sound of Xia Yan’s voice fell, the three people took their phones with unplanned, identical timing and opened the chat screen…

--

City Police Station

Today morning, I came with Zuo Ran to the city police station. Yan Wei was still dealing with official business, so he had us wait a bit for him in the office.

MC: I looked through the briefing that Leader Yan sent on my way here.

MC: Xunye’s boss, Zhang Zhian, collaborated with others to rob armored vehicles in non-local areas 15 years ago.

MC: It was also 15 years ago that he fled to Stellis City. After that, the name “Zhang Zhian” disappeared, and it was replaced with “Qing Zhian”.

MC: The person who created a fake identity was called Gu Wei.

Zuo Ran: This Gu Wei is the deceased husband of Chen Hanzhang, and the founder of Wiley Financial.

MC: Deceased husband?

I had never paid attention to Chen Hanzhang’s marriage status, so it was somewhat surprising when being brought up now. I was just about to ask Zuo Ran when my phone suddenly vibrated several times in succession.

MC: What’s the matter…

I turned on my phone and took a look – Xia Yan, Mo Yi, and Lu Jinghe had sent messages to me individually.

Zuo Ran: What is it, have you encountered an issue?

MC: No, it’s just that the three of them all sent messages, asking me how the investigation process was going.

Zuo Ran: …

MC: Weird, they could’ve just directly asked in the group chat, so why’d they send messages individually.

I held up my phone and directly responded to the three of them in the NXX group chat.

--

[MC]: Morning everyone.

[Xia Yan]: Morning, have you eaten breakfast?

[Mo Yi]: Good morning. Are you already working?

[Lu Jinghe]: Morning, jiejie, where are you right now?

>I ate breakfast >I’m already working >I’m at the police station

[MC]: Of course I’ve eaten breakfast – Lawyer Zuo specially made it for me.

[Xia Yan]: So it looks like you ate breakfast on the way? That’s not too good.

[Mo Yi]: Mhmm, I agree about that.

[Lu Jinghe]: If you said earlier that you would be eating on the way, I could’ve had the chef at my place make some and sent it over to you.

[Zuo Ran]: The next time you want to know about the investigation progress, then directly ask in the group chat, so communication will be more efficient.

 >I ate breakfast >I’m already working >I’m at the police station

[MC]: Mhmm! I’ve already started work. Lawyer Zuo and I came to meet an important witness.

[Mo Yi]: Witness? Looks like Xu Ping’s package isn’t that easy to get.

[Xia Yan]: Do side issues keep coming up?

[Lu Jinghe]: Can you confirm that package is in Xu Ping’s hands? Don’t get deceived.

[Zuo Ran]: The next time you want to know about the investigation progress, then directly ask in the group chat, so communication will be more efficient.

  >I ate breakfast >I’m already working >I’m at the police station

[MC]: I’m with Lawyer Zuo at the city station – there’s an important witness we need to meet.

[Lu Jinghe]: Going to the police station this early? You’re working way too hard.

[Xia Yan]: Is your work schedule really reasonable? You got back that late yesterday, and you’re running around so early today.

[Mo Yi]: If you stayed at the base to organize data, you might have been able to relax more.

[Zuo Ran]: The next time you want to know about the investigation progress, then directly ask in the group chat, so communication will be more efficient.

>Case progress

[MC]: Since you were all asking about the case progress, I’ll just tell you all together rather than responding to you all one by one.

[MC]: Xu Ping’s package really is with that person called Zhao Fei, but he refuses to directly give it to us.

[MC]: We’re investigating a case related to illegal drugs. After we figure it out, we should be able to get the package.

[Zuo Ran]: There is an account record of Heirson raw materials in the package – it’s very important evidence.

>Ask about everyone’s progress

[MC]: Has everyone’s investigations been smooth?

[Xia Yan]: Of course it’s been smooth. I’ll tell you about the battle results after you return!

[Mo Yi]: It has been very productive, but the upcoming investigation will require your assistance.

[Lu Jinghe]: I’ve noticed something new. I’ll update you on the info after you’re done working.

>Leader Yan has come >NXX is lacking in manpower

[MC]: Ah, Leader Yan is here, let’s chat later.

[MC]: Lawyer Zuo and I will head off first to meet the witness.

[Mo Yi]: I hope it goes smoothly.

[Xia Yan]: You absolutely must not work too hard – pay attention to your health.

[Lu Jinghe]: Jiejie, remember to give me a call if you need me to help anywhere.

[Zuo Ran]: We’ll head off first. Leave a message if you all have something to say.

 >Leader Yan has come >NXX is lacking in manpower

[MC]: Everyone’s work is quite saturated. I seriously think we need new people.

[Mo Yi]: It’s not just anyone who has the qualifications to join NXX. I’d rather we lack than have shoddy options.

[Xia Yan]: I think it’s fine. We can absolutely deal with the work amount we have now.

[Lu Jinghe]: As long as we schedule it reasonably, the people we have now is sufficient. Jiejie, don’t worry.

[Zuo Ran]: Leader Yan is here, so we’re going to go meet the witness. Leave a message if you all have something to say.

--

MC: Morning, Leader Yan.

Yan Wei: You two have arrived – you’ve worked hard.

Yan Wei, who had arrived at the office, had an expression full of weariness – he’d probably been dealing with cases the whole night at the police station without resting.

Zuo Ran: You just finished a surprise interrogation?

Yan Wei: We’d finished interrogating the person a long while ago, but while suspects can sleep, the police cannot.

Yan Wei: Time’s tight. I’ll tell you both about Qing Zhian’s situation first.

Yan Wei: Beyond our expectations, he was cooperative. Too bad that he doesn’t know much – he’s likely just a peripheral person in Chen Hanzhang’s gang.

Yan Wei: Plus… Zuo Ran, have you heard of the “Tiger’s Accomplice Ghost”?

[oliviaischillin1204]

A Ticklish Competition- A Fic By @Ticklish-Sides

[note: another excellent excellent fic from @ticklish-sides, with a couple minor additions from myself lmao. please read this y’all, i almost died as it was being written]

With the Prince of the Imagination and the Side who controlled the Flight and Fight reflexes, things were bound to get heated about who was the stronger Side. And that meant several, several different contests about strength. Which Logan and Patton were always the judges for. They had sat through so many different sit-up contests, push up contests, track and field contests, and hundreds of others. None of which Virgil or Roman ended up winning because they were too stubborn to ever give up before both dropping like stones. And Patton and Logan were officially done with it. So they decided to suggest a little contest of their own.

Virgil eyed the bar attached to the ceiling of the den with an arched eyebrow. “You guys seriously did this? I thought you hated our contests.”

Logan nodded from where he was sitting on the couch with Patton. “That’s correct, we do. However, seeing as you are both extremely stubborn and we can’t see either of you stopping these contests anytime soon -”

“Contests where you’re pushing yourself way too far!”

Logan nodded, pointing at Patton approvingly. “Yes, also that. So, instead of watching you two put your health at risk, this is the final contest that we’ll allow. Do chin-ups until someone can’t do them anymore. Whoever wins this contest, wins forever. Understand?”

Roman and Virgil glanced at each other with narrowed eyes. Finally, Virgil nodded. “Fine. Not that I’ll need any more contests. Because I’m going to win.”

“Please,” Roman scoffed confidently, walking over to one of the bars with a smirk and pulling him up, Virgil hurriedly going to the other one. “You’ll be out by the time I’m on my tenth chin up. I’d wish you luck, but it’d be cruel to give you false hope.”

As the two of them bickered back and forth, Logan and Patton exchanged knowing smirks. Logan moved a hand behind his back, Patton fingering something in his pockets. “Now, on my mark,” Patton said in a sweet tone, voice bordering on a coo, “do your first chin up. Ready? Start!”

Logan and Patton watched as Roman and Virgil started their chin up, silent for the first few minutes, just watching. Logan then slowly pulled out a Doctor’s stethoscope and pulled it around his neck and Patton moved his hands out of his pockets, little monster claws attached to his fingers. “Oh, I just forgot to mention what happens to he who wins and he who loses,” Logan said in his well-practiced Doctor tone that had the two Sides competing freezing in the middle of their chin-ups and looking over at Logan, eyes widening in horror when they saw the stethoscope. “Whoever loses, is given to Patton to be his Gigglebug for the day. And whoever wins, is given the honour of testing out the many, many experimental treatments that I need testing. Now,” Logan leaned back against the couch with a smirk, “please, continue.”

Virgil stared at Logan with wide, excited eyes, a wobbly smile tugging at his lips. “A-are you serious? Like, seriously?”

Patton winked at him, wiggling his fingers at Roman and Virgil and grinning when Roman squeaked and pulled himself up against the bar as if to protect his armpits. “That’s right, Virgey Bear. So, unless you want me playing with your cute little tummy, I suggest you keep on doing your little chin-ups.”

There was a pause as Roman and Virgil met each other’s eyes, both of them wearing an expression that was a mix of excitement, anticipation, and stubbornness. Neither of them wanted to give up and lose the right to the very important bragging rights. So, with Virgil letting out a shaky breath and Roman closing his eyes, they started back up with their chin-ups. But there was a difference this time. Patton and Logan didn’t stay quiet.

“You know, one of the treatments that I’ve prepared would be perfect for you, Virgil,” Logan hummed, fingering his stethoscope. “I’d like to test which is better for enhancing ticklishness. Lotion or oil. What do you think Virgil? I think that it’s oil, personally, but I’d love to hear your take on it.”

His take on it was one thing that Virgil could give. He couldn’t even open his mouth, cheeks flushed pink and his lips stretching out into a small grin. He shook his head as he shakily pulled himself up to the bar. He was twitching a little as his Lee mood increased and he imagined just how thorough Logan would be with testing out his treatment.

Roman glanced over at Virgil with a smirk. He was doing a bit better than Virgil, his quickly rising Lee mood and his drive to win and hold this over Virgil’s head forever battling against each other. “Looks like Patton’s gonna have a new Gigglebug soon,” he cooed at Virgil, enjoying how that pink blush darkened. “I hope you’ve brushed up on your nursery rhymes. I hope that Patton makes you sing ‘My Little Piggy’ over and over and-”

“Now, now, Roman,” Patton tsked, waving a clawed finger at him and shaking his head. “Don’t you tease Virgil now, not when he’s trying so hard. You better focus on doing chin-ups and not on Virgil,” he smirked a little, “otherwise you’ll be the one singing the songs. And I got the perfect song for you. How about I sing you a verse now?”

“No,” Roman and Virgil both cried in unison, Roman’s cheeks starting to match Virgil.

Logan arched an eyebrow. “How rude. Patton offered to sing you a verse of a lovely song and you both shut him down, and quite rudely too.” He crossed his legs and turned to face Patton. “Patton, I would love to hear you sing your song.”

Patton clapped his hands, beaming at Logan happily. “Aww, thank you, Lolo.” He faced Roman and Virgil, Virgil paralyzed at the top of the bar and Roman’s arms trembling as he tried to pull himself up. “Round and round the garden, goes the teddy bear,” Patton sang sweetly, wiggling his clawed fingers and grinning when a giggle escape Roman. “One step, two steps, tickle you under there!” He suddenly lunged a little, Virgil shrieking and nearly losing his grip on the bar. “Oh, Virgil’s shaking, Virgil’s shaking!”

“I’m not,” Virgil laughed, forcing himself down. His knees and arms were trembling hard but he pulled himself back up, his lips pulling down into a stubborn pout. He wasn’t going to lose, not to Roman. “I’m nohohot!”

Logan tapped Patton’s arm, leaning in and stage whispering, “I think he’s lying, Patton. Terribly rude for a Gigglebug, isn’t it”

Patton nodded solemnly. “Oh yes,” he stage whispered back. “Don’t worry. If he drops, I’ll teach him some manners.”

Virgil squealed, paralyzed and just hanging from the bar. He didn’t think he could handle this teasing for too much longer. Luckily, the two Lers decided that Roman was costing through this challenge just a bit too easily.

“You know, Roman,” Logan hummed, lowering his glasses and looking at Roman over them, “if you win, I’d be very interested in inspecting your muscle groups to determine how strong you really are. An in-depth abdominal examination would do the job, I believe.” He smirked as Roman’s chin-ups, which had been mostly steady up until now, started to get shaky. “Oh? Are you getting shaky, Roman? Don’t give up now. You wouldn’t want to lose the honour of testing out my treatments, would you?”

Roman rested his face against the bar, giggles slipping out of him excitedly. Unfortunately, Patton wasn’t about to let Logan get in all the teases.

“Oh, Roro, it’s okay if you lose. Honestly, I’d encourage it,” Patton chirped, drumming the claws on his fingers together excitedly. “Romie, I’ve got some special little brushes that would love to tickle-tickle your underarms! Won’t you please drop for me, kiddo?” He perked up as Virgil started to shakily rise with the attention not on him. “Oh, looks like Virgil is still trying to win! Awww, I have an idea! Why don’t the two of you drop at the same time, that way I’ll get two Gigglebugs!

Logan tsked, shaking his head. "Now, now, Patton, don’t be greedy. I’d like to have a patient today to test my treatments out on.” He glanced over at the competitors with a smirk. “Perhaps if you’re going to be greedy, so shall I. If they both managed to stay in for this competition for the next five minutes, I get both of them as patients. Does that sound fair to you?”

“Oh, I suppose,” Patton sighed with a pout. “Can I be your Nurse if you win though?”

“Oh, of course, Patton,” Logan said with a gentle smile, ignoring Roman squealing and Virgil barely hanging onto the bar. “As long as I’m able to join you if you win.”

Patton perked up and nodded, clapping his hands. “Doesn’t this sound fun, Roro, VeeVee? Whatever happens, you’ll both end up tickled pink! You’re going to so much fun whether you win, lose or tie!”

Roman’s face was bright red from his giggles, arms shaking hard. He didn’t think he could hang on much longer and, from the looks of it, neither could Virgil. The Anxious Side was paralyzed, hanging straight down and giggling furiously. They needed to do something drastic. “Choose,” he squeaked out, trying to adjust his grip. “V-Virgil, just chohose which one. Gigglebug or patient?”

Patton and Logan both leaned forward with interest, eyes trained on Virgil. “That’s right, Virgil,” Logan hummed with a sharp smile. “Just choose, Virgil. Would you rather spend the day with me or Patton? I’d suggest choosing quickly, however. Spend too much time thinking, and both you and Roman both will be mine and Nurse Patton’s patient.”

And right as Logan said the word patient, Virgil’s grip on the bar gave out and he collapsed to the ground, just a second before Roman. The two Lees gasped for breath as they laughed, clutching at each other’s arms. Virgil had his face pressed into Roman’s shoulder to hide his wide, wobbly grin and Roman was holding Virgil close with his face buried in Virgil’s hair.

“Gohood job, Virgil,” Roman giggled, rubbing at his cheeks like he could scrub the bright pink blush right off them. “Yohou did really good.”

Virgil nodded against Roman’s shoulder, staying silently but patting Roman’s arm supportively.

“Awww, so sweet! You boys both did great!”

Roman and Virgil looked up to see Logan and Patton standing over them, Logan with a sharp grin and Patton with a teasy, innocent smile. “And, Roman, you won! You know what that means” Patton cheered.

“He sure does,” Logan hummed, holding out his hand expectantly. When Roman hesitantly took it, he yelped when Logan pulled him up smoothly and right in front of him with a smirk. “Is the patient ready for his treatment?”

Roman burst into giggles, nodding happily as Logan led him away, shaking with anticipation.

Virgil looked up at Patton who winked down at him, scooping him up in a bridal style hold. “Looks like I got a cute little Gigglebug all to myself today! What'cha say, VeeVee? You ready to get going?” He laughed when Virgil buried his face into his shoulder. “Awww, someone’s shy today! Don’t worry, Gigglebug, we’ll have loads of fun today!”

And Patton was right. Because Roman might’ve won the competition, but everyone was a winner here today.

[voltage-vixen]

The Great Pumpkin Surprise

Fandom: Kissed by the Baddest Bidder Pairing:  Eisuke x MC (Female)  Notes: This fic was written for the server gift exchange in the Kings of Paradise discord, and my recipient was @eikouxd. I really hope you like this!

The gentle breeze was chilly on the crisp fall afternoon, and there was a bright mixture of orangish-red leaves that painted the ground. Decorative ghosts hung from the stripped trees in preparation for Halloween since the spooky holiday was nearly upon them. Today, MC had convinced her family to travel outside the bounds of the city to visit a farm known for their festive autumn attractions. Eito was quick to agree, and her husband Eisuke voiced how amusing this trip would probably be for him if he did accompany them. 

A few hours later they were deep into one of the rural suburbs, with a smirking Eisuke and a giddy MC bearing witness of a rare moment where Eito was racing around the farm and acting like a child his age would be expected to act. MC typically would fret over Eito being in such a rush to grow up, but today watching him radiate in childlike innocence while he lit up at the sights warmed her heart. It wasn’t often the three of them were able to escape from their daily routine given the demands of Eisuke’s work schedule, and these occasions were something she treasured when they presented themselves. Well, the three of them and…..

“Eito, come take a look at this gourd!” Ota cried out, holding up the large disfigured fruit for the boy to see. “Doesn’t it remind you of Baba’s face?”“Ota!” 

Baba pouted, feigning annoyance by dramatically crossing his arms over the front of his chest. “How cruel of you! I hardly look a day over twenty! I’m sure everyone here would feel inclined to agree.” Glancing around, the thief’s gaze locked onto Soryu’s, who also happened to be standing nearby. “Sor, don’t you think I have an eternally youthful looking face?”

The mobster rolled his eyes and uttered a loud sigh for once again being dragged into the childish antics of the group. “I don’t know anything about that stuff. Stop trying to get me involved in your shenanigans.”

“You’re pretty uptight for a criminal, aren’t you now?” Mamoru muttered under his breath. Lighting his cigarette, he surveyed the food and beverage stalls up by the entrance. “Do they sell booze at this joint? I need something to help me get through this day that I was coerced into spending with you lot.”

“Ugh, must you really insist on smoking that here?” Shuichi scolded, massaging his temples at the headache he felt oncoming. Seeing Luke nearby, he barked at the spaced-out doctor next to him. “Luke, you’re a medical professional. Inform him at once how neglectful of his health he’s being by smoking those like a chimney.”

“Oh, how I do despise the colder weather,” Luke groaned, ignoring the nagging ambassador. “I can’t even sneak a peek at Sexybones’s exquisite collar bones when she’s wearing this many layers of clothing.”

“Don’t be weird, Luke,” Hikaru murmured, shaking his head over the doctor’s odd obsession. Wanting to ease some of the innocent tension among the bidders, Hikaru decided it would be best to change the subject. “Hey, I promised Maddy I would bring him back some souvenirs. Why don’t we all pick out some together as a group? I bet Maddy would really appreciate that.”

“Good idea, Hikaru!” Baba cheered, immediately beginning to assist Hikaru in ushering the grumbling guys over to the souvenir shop. “Hurry up, everyone! Time’s a wasting!”

Yup, you guessed it! Somewhere along the way, what was intended to be a family trip, somehow escalated into the Ichinomiya family + the auction managers = chaotic group outing.

 Despite the crashers, Eito who had been wandering through the patch in search for the perfect pumpkin, spun around and burst into laughter at the familiar sight of the men he considered uncles causing the same old commotion he had grown to associate them with.

“Remind me why they are here again?” Eisuke scowled, though there was a softness in his face that didn’t align with the harshness of his words while he watched the group disappear into the front of the stop.

“Because they’re our friends,” MC giggled, while she rested her head onto his arm. “Besides, look how much fun Eito is having! Isn’t that what matters the most?” 

Eisuke leaned over to plant a soft kiss on the top of her head, and tenderly stroked her cheek. “That face you’re making now isn’t the worst,” the CEO teasingly mocked. “I suppose a trip like this isn’t half-bad if it means I get to see more of that ridiculous grin you’re wearing.”

“I can’t help the fact that spending time with you two reminds me of how blessed I am,” MC sighed, nuzzling her head against his shoulder. “These moments are precious. They’re the ones I’ll forever cherish from now until the end of my time.”

Eisuke’s heart skipped a beat at the adorableness of MC’s confession, and a rare shade of crimson faintly painted his cheeks. His past self would never have been able to envision that someone like him would ever be fortunate enough to be experiencing his very own version of family bliss. Yet here he stood today as a husband and a father. He used to believe success was measured by one’s professional accomplishments. While the value of business metrics was still one of importance, Eisuke now also factored in the prosperity and good fortune he was privileged to be immersed in from MC and Eito.

“Always honest to a fault,” Eisuke retorted, trusting MC failed to notice his blush. “That’s a quality that deserves a reward, and I don’t intend on making you wait for reimbursement any longer. Come here, baby.” 

Reaching around behind MC, Eisuke placed his hand on her back. Pulling her into his embrace, MC’s body stiffened in a bashfulness from how intimately they were standing in public. The familiar masculine scent of his cologne radiated from his body as her husband wiggled MC even more snugly against him. Eisuke’s hot breath tickled the front of her neck, and his expression softened as he cupped her chin, and MC’s nerves instantly melted away. She wanted to kiss him, and she wanted to kiss him now. Rising on her tip toes, MC inched closer, drawing herself to the part of Eisuke’s lips until-

“Mom, take a look at what I found!” Eito boasted, interrupting his parents by suddenly making his way over. “I found you the perfect pumpkin!”Eito was grinning from ear to ear, his cheeks puffed out in pride as he held up a large, bright orange pumpkin. 

Stepping away from Eisuke, MC crouched down and extended her arms to greet Eito.“Eito, what a wonderful find,” MC cheered, genuinely impressed by the amount of though Eito was putting into ensuring he found her such an impeccable pumpkin.

“If that’s what you consider a superb pumpkin, then you have very juvenile taste,” Eisuke jabbed, miffed that his MC’s attention was taken from him. “Don’t ever present your mother with less than she deserves.”

“Eisuke….,” MC began to interject, but was left unheard since Eisuke was already headed towards the fields. 

“Don’t make excuses for him,” Eisuke replied. “Come on, Eito. Allow me to remind you of what constitutes as an Ichnomiya standard.”

“I don’t need you to tell me anything!” Eito argued. Despite his protests, Eito set aside his pride and chased after his father. 

MC watched from a distance as the two thoroughly inspected the rows of pumpkins. She was able to gather they were quarreling back and forth based on Eito’s everchanging facial expressions, but she was also able to observe the look of admiration Eito often held for Eisuke. Eito was intently hanging onto every word Eisuke spoke, and even divulged his appreciation by offering the billionaire a small nod in approval when they reached an agreement on the ideal pumpkin. Eisuke signaled for one of the workers to come assist, and Eito held the pumpkin proudly to his chest.  

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few weeks had passed since that fun day at the pumpkin patch. MC was about to leave their home and meet Eisuke in the lobby of the Tres Spades, when she caught a glimpse at the picture frame of the three of them on the coffee table. Her lips curled in a smile as she recollected that fond memory. Sparing one final peek at the happy photo, she eagerly stepped into the elevator.  

After riding down into the lobby, the doors to the elevator sprung open and MC gasped in awe at the marvelous scene decorating the entrance into the hotel. She could hardly believe that the entire face of the lobby was covered in pumpkins. Each was turned into a different type of jack-o-lantern; carved with intricate details, and brightly illuminating from the inside. The normal atmosphere was vastly transformed into a not-so-spooky Halloween theme.

 “Mom, you’re finally here!” Eito shouted as he ran across the room to greet her.

 “Conduct yourself more appropriately,” Eisuke scolded, frowning when Eito ignored him and continued to race towards his mother and tightly hug her.

“We had the farm deliver all of these pumpkins, and then dad and I asked Uncle Ota to design them since we thought it would make you happy! Did it work? Are you happy?” the little boy asked, his eyes widened in an impatient anticipation as he awaited his mom’s response.

“Of course, I’m happy! You two did an amazing job working together,” MC acknowledged in pride, also addressing Eisuke who had just finished walking over to join her and Eito. “What did I ever do to deserve to be spoiled like this by my two favorite men in the entire world?”

MC wrapped Eito up into a hug and reached out to grasp onto Eisuke’s hand. Knowing that Eisuke and Eito worked through their differences to come together as father and son and plan such an elaborate surprise for her was truly better than any physical gift they could present her with. 

“I love you, guys,” MC whispered, blinking back the tears of joy threatening to spill in elate of her excitement.

“Love you too, mom,” Eito murmured, blushing shyly at the direct confession.

Pressing a kiss on Eito’s forehead, MC captured Eisuke’s gaze with her own. Her eyes flashed in adoration when Eisuke lightly gave her hand a squeeze, and shared the sentimental smile he retained only for her.

I love you too, baby. I love you too.    

[noona-clock]

The Bartender

Genre: Bartender!AU

Pairing: Jinhwan x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 | Words: 2,202

A soft smirk tugged at your lips as you looked at your schedule for the day.

Being a health inspector for the city was very rarely boring; most places you visited, you could safely say you never really knew what was going to happen as you did your walk-through.

But when you saw Jay’s on your schedule, you knew exactly what to expect.

The bar had been open for about two years now, but every time you visited, the owner openly and ruthlessly flirted with you. Even though you’d told him -- Jinhwan, his name was -- it was incredibly unprofessional and certainly wouldn’t help raise the bar’s health score, he still did it.

...That may have been because you’d never been able to tell him he was being incredibly unprofessional with a totally straight face.

Because, man, was he cute.

In the past, you’d tended to go more for the brawny, chiseled guys. Jinhwan... was not that, but there was just something about him that intrigued you. His face was beautiful, yes, but... it felt like something more than just his looks.

Maybe his flirtatious comments were just working and that’s what intrigued you.

Either way, you were scheduled to inspect Jay’s later this afternoon, so you would get another chance to figure out just what it was about the owner that kept you from transferring the bar off of your rotation.

Of course, that didn’t stop you from thinking about it in the hours leading up to it.

You were very professional during your other inspections, of course. It’s not like your head was too filled with cute bar owners to prevent you from doing your job properly. Absolutely not!

But in-between visits, in the car, while you waited... you wondered what Jinhwan would say to you today.

Not that there was anything he could say to break your professional resolve, though. Definitely not.

But still. You were curious. Like, on a scientific kind of level. It would be interesting to see what else he could think of since, by now, he’d basically complimented everything about you he could see. 

It’s not like you were looking forward to it or anything.

No.

Of course, not.

...Anyway.

You shook your head slightly to rid yourself of all these wonderings as you pulled up to the one and only Jay’s. A slight rain had began during your drive, so you grabbed your clipboard and hurried to get out before any sort of deluge could catch you.

Since it was a bar and it was not even three in the afternoon, the place wasn’t open when you arrived at the front door.

But Jinhwan knew you were coming, so he’d left the door unlocked for you -- as he always did. Many restaurants and bars weren’t so gracious. I mean, you were just doing your job! You were trying to make sure their establishments were safe for citizens! It’s not like you were there to try and close them down -- not at all. 

Oh, well. The health of the general public was more important to you than having people like you, and that was that.

“Ah, one of my two favorite times of the year,” you heard a familiar -- and sultry but also sweet -- voice call out. “Health inspection time.”

A soft, amused smile tugged at your lips as you hugged your clipboard to your chest and headed over toward the main bar area where Jinhwan was currently wiping down glasses.

“Oh?” you replied in lieu of a greeting, keeping your voice as solid and professional as possible. “What’s your other favorite time of the year?”

“The other health inspection,” he answered with a very (attractive) smirk on his lips.

...You should have known. You came by once every six months, and Jinhwan was definitely the type of flirter to make it seem like you were truly all he cared about. Whenever you were in his bar, he only focused on you.

Did it sometimes interfere with your inspection? Yes.

But did it bother you? ...No.

“Of course,” you murmured with a small shake of your head. And then you let out a deep sigh and lifted your eyebrows at him. “All right, let’s get this over with.”

Jinhwan clutched at his heart as he set the glass down on the bar, his brow furrowing. “Ouch,” he hissed. “Get this over with? I just told you this is my favorite time of the year, and it’s something you just want to get over? That hurts, Y/N. It really hurts.”

“This is just my job,” you reminded him with a chuckle.

As you began to make your way back into the kitchen, Jinhwan pushed himself away from the bar and followed you. “You say that, but I know you enjoy coming here,” he said. “If you didn’t, you would’ve asked another inspector to take over. And don’t say I’m wrong, because I’m not.”

You shot him a glance over your shoulder before shouldering the kitchen door open, reaching into your bag with your free hand to retrieve your pen. “I do enjoy my job, yes.”

“I can tell,” Jinhwan replied. “But you can’t say that you don’t enjoy coming to my bar more than other places.”

“Did you take care of that latch on the freezer?” you asked, shifting your gaze down to your checklist.

“Of course. You know I’d do anything for you.”

“Except let me do my job in peace.”

“But if I didn’t come with you, how would I answer questions like ‘did you take care of that latch on the freezer?’ And how would you answer questions like ‘can I take you out tomorrow night?’”

“I am not answering that,” you snorted.

“Because you’d say ‘yes,’ and that’s unprofessional,” Jinhwan rejoined hastily. And then he tilted his head and shot you a self-confident half-grin. “I know you, Y/N.”

“Then you also know that flirting with me is not going to --”

“Raise my health score. Yes, I am well aware, but you know that’s not why I do it.”

“Uh huh, sure,” you murmured with disbelief before opening the pantry. You came by every six months to inspect the bar because it was your job, and he tried to butter you up and flatter you because the bar was his job. You weren’t stupid! (Plus, as we’ve established, he intrigued you -- you certainly didn’t mind that he wanted to do his job in the best way he found possible.)

“I’m serious!” he cried as you checked off that all dry and canned goods were stored properly.

“Oh, really?” you smirked. “Then why?”

You almost immediately regretted asking him that because it was entirely unprofessional, and you weren’t even sure you wanted to know the answer.

“Because I like you,” Jinhwan replied in a tone which made it sound like his answer was utterly and completely obvious.

And why hadn’t it been obvious to you? It should have been since his actions and words toward you hadn’t affected his score -- ever -- and yet he continued to flirt with you.

The guy ran a pretty successful bar; he was smart. You had to give him credit for that. It’s not like he would think you would ever actually change your mind and slip a few extra points onto his score or pretend like you hadn’t seen something just because he constantly flattered you and asked you out on dates.

So... yeah. Of course, it should have been obvious.

He flirted with you because he liked you.

“You -- you hardly know me,” you pointed out with a breathless, awkward chuckle.

Jinhwan let out a chuckle of his own as he continued to follow you around the kitchen, though this one wasn’t awkward or breathless as yours had just been. His chuckle was one of gentle amusement at your expense. “Does a person really need to know another person to be interested? You’ve never seen someone and wanted to ask them out on a date even though you don’t know their favorite color?”

...Unfortunately, he had a point.

But you really didn’t want to have this conversation while you were trying to make sure his garbage disposal methods were up to standard.

So, instead, you asked, “How often do you take the trash out?”

“Never,” Jinhwan replied immediately.

Your stricken gaze shot up to meet his. “Never?!”

“I have the Busboy do it.”

You couldn’t help but let out a soft sigh of relief, and you shook your head a little at him. “How often does the Busboy take out the trash?”

“At least twice during operating hours.”

You scribbled it down on your checklist as you held back a smirk.

“See? I have a sense of humor,” Jinhwan pointed out in a smug tone. “If you like guys with a sense of humor, you should definitely go out with me.”

You simply made your way back out to the bar area to finish up here before moving on to the dining area and bathrooms.

Jinhwan followed you around and, as expected, he continued to flirt with you. He looked over your shoulder at your checklist, he complimented your outfit, and he asked you out no less than three times.

“Okay, you won’t verbally say ‘yes’ because it’s unprofessional or whatever,” he said just after you handed him the sheet with his new health score (a 100, by the way). “So, just wink at me or something. If you want to go out with me, reply with a wink.”

You raised your eyebrows at him and turned on your heel toward the door.

Jinhwan scrambled to follow you, quickly setting his report card down on the bar. “At least -- okay, at least come to the bar when you’re not working!” he suggested. His tone was just a little bit desperate, but... it was still kind of cute.

“Nice job, as usual,” you replied. “See you in six months.”

“Not if you come to the bar!”

You plastered an angelic smile on your lips and glanced over your shoulder as you reached the front door. “Have a great day, Mr. Kim.”

“We open at 5!” he called out as you headed toward your car in the parking lot. “Close at 2! In the morning! You got all night!”

You waved at him before opening your driver’s-side door and getting in your car, all the while trying not to grin with amusement. He just really wasn’t going to give up, was he? And if you’d explicitly told him ‘No,’ that wouldn’t be okay.

...But you hadn’t ever told him ‘No.’ You had never told him you weren’t interested. And you still couldn’t quite figure out why.

Ah, well. You would try again in six months. (Which is probably the exact same thing Jinhwan was thinking.)

“Hey, what’s up?” you asked as you answered the phone. If your Caller ID was correct, one of your good friends from university was contacting you on this warm Friday evening.

“I’m feeling nostalgic and bored and I want to go out,” Emma replied. “Please come out with me. My treat.”

You looked down at your fuzzy blanket-clad lap (because, even though it was now summer, you still liked to be cozy so you kept your fan on high at all times), and while you should have been very reluctant to leave the comfort of your own home at 7 PM on a Friday... it had been a while since you’d seen Emma. The two of you had been roommates for two years back in the day, but ever since you’d both graduated and started your professional careers, neither of you had the time to meet up regularly.

“Yeah, sure,” you answered with a small grin. “But you don’t have to treat me.”

“Yes!” Emma squealed. “Where do you want to go? Where should we go?”

You opened your mouth to request that she choose somewhere... but then an idea popped into your head.

It was probably a crazy idea. Probably a bad idea.

You were going to pitch it, anyway.

“Actually, I think I know a place,” you said as you slowly nodded your head.

“Ooh, where?”

“It’s --” You had to take a breath before you said it which only proved that it was a bad idea. “It’s called Jay’s. I’ve done all their health inspections, so it’s a grade-a place -- literally.”

“Sounds good to me!” Emma chirped. “I’ll pick you up in about half an hour?”

A tiny grin pulled at the corner of your lips, and you said, “Sure. See you then.”

As soon as you hung up, you regretted it. You regretted saying you would go out with her. You regretted suggesting going to Jay’s. You regretted agreeing to her picking you up in half an hour.

You knew you should pick up your phone and call her back to tell her you couldn’t go, after all. Or, at the very least, you should go to a different bar.

...But you didn’t.

You simply threw your blanket off your lap and headed toward your closet to get changed.

Because tonight you were going to Jay’s.

Part 2

[howtowhumpyourhiccup]

Winter Whumperland Day 10: Ruin

Summary: Written for Winter Whumperland Day 10. Set in a Modern AU, follows up on Day 9 'Planned'. Darkness was all Hiccup knew during those first three months. Darkness and daily defeat. Ruin was his way back into the light.

Warning: Rape/non-con

Rating: Mature

Characters: Hiccup, Viggo

Pairing: Vigcup, past-Hiccstrid

Words: 4 356

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Prompt: “Poisoned”, “Food deprivation”

Whumpee: Hiccup

Author’s Notes: After posting Day 'Planned', I decided to hold off on posting Days 10 and 11 until I finished Day 12, which still had such a long way to go. It still does, but I have since split Day 12 into two parts and part 1 is finished. So it felt right to post Day 10.

I think that this thing is the darkest fic I've written to date, the final chapter in Hiccup's story left unexplored. There is still plenty left, but those won't be from his perspective. ;D

Constructive criticism is appreciated.

Enjoy!

Ao3

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"Are we not as lively today as we usually are, Hiccup?" One afternoon in late August, this is the question Viggo asks. His gaze is indifferent, if slightly pleased, as it lingers on the young man sitting opposite to him at a table.

Hiccup looks a little lost as he sits there with him, a barely played chessboard between the two. He's hunched, appearing small, and tired. He's lost weight, but he's not as thin as he was a week ago, when he first left the downstairs area of the Grimborn home, the basement.

When a question is asked of him, he looks back at Viggo and realizes it's been a few minutes since he's made his move on the board. And yet, the older man isn't wondering why Hiccup is taking so long, knowing well enough what the cause for his downtrodden mood is.

He's feeling a little down, a little fatigued. It's not too crazy after what he's been through, after what he's survived and gotten out of. if anything, Viggo is pleased to see him this way. He's never liked Hiccup's 'loudness' from before, though others would argue that Hiccup isn't loud at all. Not in the way Viggo thinks.

"Um, I'm sorry, I'm..." Hiccup apologizes, but he's unsure what he wants to say. He hasn't just been spacing out during their game, he's been doing so throughout the day and during previous days, too.

Does it have something to do with the things done to him? He's certainly still recovering from it and not just mentally, his body is trying to catch up, too. Though his ribs and knee have healed and Viggo is putting enough food in him, he's still worryingly thing and that doesn't help his mental health. It all contributes to the tiredness that he feels.

"It's okay, my Dear, I know that you're having a hard time." Viggo understands, but he's only pretending to be nice, pretending to be concerned.

Hiccup looks down at himself, picking at the loose skin on his fingers. He's hurting, he feels like crying, he feels such shame and he can't see a single part of himself without remembering.

Without a doubt, Viggo can see the emotion growing in his eyes, can see a non-physical weight physically weighing him down. His response to that? Taking his glass of wine to sip from it. In his eyes, this is progress.

But as painful as those venomous memories are, they make Hiccup think of an important question.

"Can I- can I ask you a question?" Hiccup asks cautiously. There is something he needs to know, though he is afraid of the answer. He is very afraid.

"Make your move first, Hiccup, I don't appreciate to be kept waiting. After that, you can ask." Viggo responds, gesturing to the board, and so Hiccup turns his attention quietly back down to their game.

It's only because of Viggo that he knows how to play chess. He might've been a little curious at some point, he knows Fishlegs certainly has been, but it wasn't until Viggo came into his life that he learned how to play.

Maybe he could be good with a little bit more practice, Viggo is quite an experienced players, but his fatigue doesn't allow him to think of any good moves. When Hiccup makes his next one, it's the first one he can find. It might not be the best move, but he's not in the right mindset to even try to go for a win either. He's afraid of what'll happen if he does win.

Besides, he doesn't have the energy for it, he just wants to ask his question and have his answer.

Viggo hum disapprovingly and Hiccup holds his breath for one tense moment.

"Go on, ask your question." But fair is fair, so Viggo awaits his question.

"Do I... Um.. Do I have to ever, you know?" Hiccup can feel his heartbeat growing louder, can feel it pounding against his sternum. He acts subdued, but on the inside, he's full of turmoil and fright.

"Do I ever have to go back? Down-downstairs?" But Viggo is a patient man when Hiccup doesn't make him angry and he manages to ask. Hiccup fears the answer he may receive.

Viggo crosses his arms and hums as if in thought. It is nothing but an act as he already has his answer. He likes to keep Hiccup on his toes, likes to make him worry and stress. It's good, it's how Hiccup knows to behave.

"Well, no, not as long as you're a good boy. I won't have a reason to send you back if you listen and are good, do I?" That answer is barely comforting and Viggo's almost endearing smile doesn't help.

So long as Hiccup doesn't step out of line, he has nothing to worry about. So long as he listens, is a good boy, does everything that's asked and expected of him, he'll be okay. But then, what exactly is 'stepping out of line' to Viggo? Is it when he falls back into his old behavior? When he tries to escape? Or is it something as small as speaking out of turn?

Hiccup could ask, but maybe asking is considered stepping out of line and he doesn't want to risk that.

Thinking back to that place hurts so much and it makes him sick to his stomach. It's awful, so very awful. And the only reason he's sitting in the dining room with the afternoon sunlight filtering in through the window now is because he's given in to him.

He hopes he never has to go through something like that ever again.

"Oh my Dear," Viggo offers a hand and his support as he notices the tears growing in Hiccup's eyes. "My wonderful Dear."

He knows that he's hurting, that was the entire point of keeping Hiccup down there for the first three months of his time here. How can Viggo trust him to be a good boy upstairs if he hasn't learned to obey first? And learning to obey always hurts, learning to be his perfect partner hurts. His tears are a sign that it's working. This is a good thing!

Hesitantly, Hiccup accepts it and places his hand in Viggo's, the man squeezing his in return. Unless it's erotic in nature, Hiccup doesn't get affectionate gestures like this, so it's nice to just have his hand held for once.

Viggo's hand is warm, too. As much as he fears and hates the man, it's just nice to be held.

He knows Astrid liked to walk hand in hand with him, knows his friends liked hugs, he misses those simple things.

Hiccup's lower lip trembles, a lump in his throat, and the tears are impossible to hold back. The affection and thinking of his friends and girlfriends don't help. A thumb rubs the back of his hand comfortingly.

"It'll be okay, Hiccup. Just be a good boy and you don't have to go back. All you need to do is to remember that and listen." Viggo tells him, as if that is a reassuring thing to hear.

As long as he listens, he doesn't have to fear the basement. As long as he's a good boy, he doesn't have to worry.

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Ryker running Hiccup over with his car injured him gravely, but broken ribs, a dislocated knee, and a hurt hip only kept Hiccup from fighting back for so much. If Viggo has ever hoped that they would, he was wrong.

Once Hiccup got his bearings, once he comprehended the position that he's in, he has only one goal in mind and that is to escape.

The cuffs that were there when he first woke up were only used to keep him from flying into a panic and injuring himself further. The near panic attack Hiccup had was already enough to endanger him.

The next time and the next and every time he wakes up afterward, they aren't there. If he were healthy, maybe they would be used to tie him down, but he isn't and Viggo must believe his ribs enough to hold him down.

He was wrong, of course.

Hiccup is free to leave the bed. And though he can't breathe properly without the painkillers provided by his abductors, Hiccup has enough experience walking around with his bad leg that the dislocation of a joint meant little to him. He can jump and land wrong and it will pop out, this is nothing new to him.

So carefully and slowly, making use of the hours he's alone, he inspects every nook and cranny of the room they keep him in. When Viggo is at work, Ryker doesn't care enough to visit, so that leaves him with plenty of opportunities to explore.

The bathroom, while objectively nice, only has the bare essentials. A toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, body wash, a hairbrush, that sort of thing. None of them are the brands he uses, rather they are the ones his abductor personally prefers.

In his little living space, there is only the bed and that's that. The mattress is decent, the frame sturdy, and the covers and pillowcase soft. Though an asshole, Viggo has a standard he does not lower unless it comes to his murder cabin, which Hiccup won't know about for months.

Besides the bed, there is no nightstand, no shelves, and nothing to entertain him with. Either Viggo hasn't thought of it, didn't care, or purposely didn't want Hiccup to keep himself busy.

There is only the chessboard, the one thing he would sometimes bring down to the basement with him. It takes only a week for Hiccup to hate it with a passion.

But though they don't keep him confined to the bed, his injuries do keep him from doing much to escape. Exploring is one thing, but attempting to fashion some sort of weapon or lockpick or something to undo the hinges of the door is beyond him. What little he already does leaves him breathless.

Besides, it is in his best interest to reserve his strength.

Because when the hours pass and Viggo eventually comes home, he needs it.

In the beginning, they started out as touches. Hiccup could tell that this was purely because of his injuries. If he could breathe right, if his hip and knee could be used at all, his first days in the basement would've already been the closest thing to hell he's known in his short life thus far.

They were small things. Viggo would help him sit up, would give him his painkillers, seemingly normal stuff, but the hand would linger. It would be on his upper arm, his back, his side, eventually on his thigh. And even there, there's a journey closer and closer to his center.

They are discomforting and Hiccup moves out of his reach every time, letting out a discomforting chuckle each time. He just doesn't know how to deal with such intrusive attention.

And then, one day, Viggo dares a kiss and Hiccup punches him for it. His lips aren't wanted on his and Hiccup makes sure he felt it.

He has only been kissed without his consent once before and that was by Dagur. He'd been in complete shock back then, utterly frozen and defenseless. He'd promised himself since that kiss that he would never let anyone kiss him like that again. But Viggo has and so Hiccup acts accordingly.

But then he regrets it shortly afterward, of course. The sudden upwelling of violence makes his wounded ribs scream. He holds it, collapsing to his knees while Viggo stands over him and holds his lower jaw, flexing it angrily.

"I suppose it was foolish of me to think you wouldn't fight back, though you've certainly surprised me with the violence you appear to be capable of." There is venom in his tone and eyes, his anger barely restrained. His pride has been hurt.

Hiccup groaning and struggling to draw in any oxygen on the floor does nothing to him.

"But don't worry, it's been duly noted and will be dealt with appropriately." With those final words, Viggo takes his leave. Turning and walking away, locking the door behind him as he goes.

But as time passes, there is no retaliation, no punishment. Though Viggo has been angered, there seems to be no reaction of any kind. Hiccup thinks it strange, but he's never been kidnapped by an obsessed man before.

Dagur certainly tried once with his convincing a 15-year-old boy to run away with him, but he's nothing like Viggo. So Hiccup still doesn't know what to expect. If he had, that meant he would've seen the red flags, and that meant he might not even be in this situation.

And then, Hiccup is plunged straight into hell.

Because the next day, his breakfast is brought, as per usual. Though always cautious, Hiccup takes it and eats it because he wants to heal, wants to regain his strength, and that's when the trouble begins. He doesn't know what could've been used, but that innocent bowl of plain cereal was poisoned.

He remembers Viggo bringing it to him personally, his fond smile turning into a malicious smirk when Hiccup reaches the end of his meal. He takes the bowl back and then leaves, wishing him a "pleasant time" in the basement.

And now here he is, clutched to the toilet like his life depends on it.

Ever tried vomiting with two broken ribs? This is Hiccup's first time and he can attest to how excruciating it is.

Every lurch isn't just accompanied with the usual burning throat and foul taste, but also with the agony of his injured side forcible contracting together to get the contents of his stomach out of him.

His stomach, plagued by horrible cramps, wants to be relieved and at the same time, his lungs would love some air. They battle to have their needs met and that just makes the entire experience about a hundred times worse than it already is. A hundred times more traumatizing, too.

Sitting on his bad knee and hip helps little. With the urge to throw up, there is the urge to do anything but kneel in front of the toilet on the hard, tiled floor. About every part of this is pure, unadulterated torture.

To make things even worse, there is the constant fear of a broken rib moving and collapsing his lung. Ryker certainly wouldn't care enough to take him to a hospital in time and Viggo might rather want to clean his hands free of him than risk being caught as a kidnapper. They wouldn't come to his aid, they will let him suffocate to death instead.

Every time the urge to retch comes, he tries to suppress it. For the sake of his ribs, to have control over his own body again, sobbing, coughing his airways free. Every time he tries, it gets so much worse, but that makes him want to try harder, and so the cycle continues.

Time passes, the cycle is endless, the pain is torment and all Hiccup can do is beg.

"Please, don't make me throw up any more." He whimpers, everything hurting, throat burning, voice hoarse.

All day this cycle goes on and on. Every half an hour the urge strikes, until it continues long after there is nothing left in his system to give up, until all he does is dry heave in desperation, until the wee hours of the night.

Sweating, trembling, beyond exhausted,  and grossly sobbing and hiccuping, Hiccup still clutches to the toilet bowl hours after his tainted breakfast.

He wants it to end, he wants to sleep, but his stomach is still upset and he doesn't want to leave the safety of the bathroom.

It's been at least an hour since the last time he threw up and that means he's carefully allowing himself to hope that this is it, that this is the end of his suffering for the day. If he could, he would fall asleep right here on the cold floor.

His right side is on fire and his abdominal muscles are sore after the workout they've gotten. He can barely swallow, throated burned from all the stomach acids.

Conveniently, after not showing his face the entire day, Viggo decides now is the time to make his entrance. Hiccup could've used a little support during the day instead of being forced to go through those long hours of torture completely alone. He has pleaded for his mom and dad at some point.

Watching him shiver with a look of sadistic satisfaction, their gazes meeting, Viggo can see the pain and the tiredness in them. Hiccup's arm is on the seat, his head resting on the limb while he sits there limply.

"Learned your lesson?" Viggo asks with an air of arrogance to him. It's as if he expects him to fall to his feet and beg for forgiveness right then and there.

"Water? Please?" He asks softly, tone barely above a whisper.

"Hm-hm, have you learned your lesson?" Viggo repeats. If Hiccup wants to have that glass of water, he needs to earn it first.

"Please, Viggo. Please," Viggo, believing this to be an admittance of defeat, takes his suit jacket to lay over Hiccup's shoulder, he must be cold after all of that.

"Let us get you washed up and hydrated." He tells him, playing nice now that Hiccup's down and beaten. The dirty towel, used to wipe his mouth during the day, can be taken care of later.

But what Viggo doesn't realize is that Hiccup isn't a fast learner when it comes to things like this.

He doesn't throw up again, but it takes him a week to get better, which is nearly a week of lying in bed and recovering from whatever's been fed to him. Just sleeping and drinking and eating the few light meals his stomach can handle at that time.

But once he's there, when Viggo deems him healthy enough to try and force his tongue down his throat again, Hiccup still doesn't stand for it and shows his dismay by fighting back in any way he can.

So he's sick for a second week after his disobedience. Once he's recovered from that, a third week follows. Viggo quickly realizes he has to switch to a new tactic.

Because eventually those injuries heal and that means he can be a little meaner to Hiccup.

There is something Viggo wants from him and he's adamant about getting it.

Besides, with those ribs better now all that food, when not poisoned, is only good for one thing and that is all that extra energy that Viggo deems unessential.

So he cuts Hiccup off. When Hiccup rejects Viggo's hugely inappropriate advances once again, he's denied food for the rest of the day. The first time, he only misses dinner, so that means he's quite hungry by the time breakfast arrives.

But Hiccup automatically denies that meal, too, having learned from the three times he's been made terribly ill through poisoned food to be wary of breakfast.

Lunch comes and Hiccup accepts that meal, but it comes at the price of more of the older man's forceful affection, which he'd strongly rejected once again. At dinner he stays away, breakfast Hiccup misses on purpose, lunch is spoiled by Viggo trying to kiss him and pin him to the bed. It becomes a cycle, with lunch becoming the sole source of his food.

The three weeks of illness has severely weakened him, but by the day he grows even weaker, only given enough to not get him in trouble. That makes it so much harder for him to fight back and Viggo doesn't care if he loses a couple of pounds in the process. And with no injuries getting in the way, Viggo can afford to be a little rough.

If anything, it's fun to see how long Hiccup can keep this up. Everybody has a breaking point and his doesn't seem so easily reached.

"No, please, don't! Stop! Viggo, you're such a piece of shit, stop!" He would shout, he would push, he would kick, but his attempts weaken as his body does.

So naturally, the night comes when Hiccup can no longer fight back and he's run out of energy to do much of anything. By the time he's just shy of being nothing by skin and bones, he's tried everything he can think of to keep Viggo from stealing from him. The younger Grimborn even sports a deeply blue bitemark at some point, to which Ryker's only amused response is; "So he's kinky."

But while his attempts work to deter him for another night, it's not enough in the long run and the lack of strength has put a full stop to his escape plan, too.

Reserves empty, all out of tricks, too run-down to even sass, black and bruised all over, Hiccup eventually can't stop Viggo from taking what he's been after since the first day they met.

He forced himself onto him, raped him, and it's a first time he could've done without.

"Now was that really so hard?" Viggo asks him afterward in a mocking tone as he dresses, leaving Hiccup to curl up and hug himself. There is no comfort afterward and it's on purpose. Viggo doesn't even stay, making Hiccup wallow in the shame all alone.

That night he cries for his parents, pleading with them to come get him. He hasn't cried for them since a dragon attacked him and he had to be flown to the nearest hospital. But being pinned down and raped will certainly do the trick.

During his stay, Hiccup will have a hard time admitting it even to himself that it happened. The mere thought, while the memories are always there, is always cut short.

The next morning is his first breakfast in much too long and Hiccup cannot reject it, despite his fear. It's like a reward for losing.

No matter how awful accepting it makes him feel, he can't refuse. Viggo sits down on the bed next to him as he eats, much too close, his hand on his thigh, and it makes Hiccup sicker to his stomach than being poisoned made him feel. But he couldn't reject the food, couldn't ask Viggo to leave, because his body despairs for that food.

And then afterward, there is a new cycle, a new game. It's one of choice, if you will. Either Hiccup gives in or he starves. Wanting to live and make it out above else, he chooses the former.

That is how his three months in the darkness of the basement went.

In a way, anything after that is child's play compared to what he suffered downstairs. Perhaps, the time spend in the Grimborn home afterward, is time he spends gathering up the pieces of his shattered spirit to put back together again one by one until the holiday trip that leads to his freedom.

It's a shoddy job in the end, but he survives.

Viggo comes to get him on the anniversary of the third month of his abduction with more presentable clothes for him to wear. Something other than the hoodie, shirt, and jeans he'd been taken in, which were dirty and smelly by now.

There's a broken and dull look to Hiccup when Viggo tells him to wash up and dress in them. He quite likes the sight of it. He's fond, even.

The clothes don't fit, appearing to be too large on him. But is that really surprising when the sizes are based on a time before all that weight loss?

When dressed, Hiccup stands before Viggo, staring down at the first decent clothes he's had in much too long, the first clean clothes. They're not his, they're not even the kind of clothes he would wear during formal events. They're so ill-fitting they look almost ridiculous on him, too. That is, he would look ridiculous if the sight of him didn't spark the more natural reaction of; "Oh my God, get this man a doctor."

Viggo is fruitlessly straightening out his clothes that don't fit, but he doesn't seem to mind. Once they're about as neat as he can get them, he cups a hollowed-out cheek and brings Hiccup's face up to have their eyes meet. The entire time, Hiccup has his gaze downcast.

"I want you to know how proud I am of you, my Dear. You've learned your place." Viggo tells him, staring into eyes that are rather empty with a satisfied glint in his own.

When he draws his hand back, Hiccup's gaze is soon downcast again.

Stepping away from him, Viggo motions towards the door, the same one that's been locked for three full months, even whenever Grimborn was down here.

"This is a special day." Hiccup is told.

"You've earned this." He's told.

And now, Viggo wants him to take the stairs up.

The door is opened to him and Hiccup lifts his eyes up. He can see the stairs, can see more of it as it opens wider. There is the soft throbbing of longing in his heart, of excitement.

Is this really it? Is he finally going up there and leaving the basement?

The stairs revealed, Viggo puts a hand on his lower back to gently push him towards it. The steps are wooden, they're filthy, but they're the best stairs he's ever seen.

But even better is that the door on the other side at the top isn't just unlocked, it's open and Hiccup can see light coming in. Natural light! His eyes aren't used to that much anymore and it is blinding, but he refuses to look away and squints.

But it's open, he really is leaving.

The tears he wants to cry then are of joy. There's a spark inside of him that Viggo will come to regret.

He's survived and, in the end, he fights back.

He's not broken.