#like to think he does dumb things but is smart when it counts
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screams-in-writing · 2 months ago
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Suit coat and starsss
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A snippet below; I couldn’t help myself.
“Are you certain this outfit is truly necessary?” Mr. Puzzles asked. “Isn’t my usual attire fine for this ‘party’?”
“What do you mean? The get together is less than an hour!” You wondered, turning to face the man. “Does the clothing not fit or…or…” You trailed off into silence, question left unfinished, when you caught sight of the clothing in question. Your gaze focused, raking up and down, then more slowly. The white pants were a stark contrast to what Puzzles normally wore. It wasn’t lost on you that his hat, on on each boot (oh dear help they were knee highs) and one on the inside of the tail coat that showed when the man turned.
“It is too much, isn’t it?” Mr. Puzzles fidgeted with his bow tie, then brushed down his shorter warm grey-golden vest with gold buttons that paired with the hidden dress shirt and tailcoat. Upon no answer, he self-consciously adjusted the way the tail coat fit over his shoulders. Then, Puzzles’ hand went up to the top hat he’d either put over (or in place of) his usual bowler hat, as his metal antenna stuck through it. “Or is it this? It put the outfit together, but I feel like it is perhaps much too formal for this party, or ‘get together’, as you put it-”
“It’s perfect.” You managed to breathe out.
“Hm?” Mr. Puzzles caught on quickly; he placed a splayed hand to his chest beneath the bow tie as a sly grin appeared on his screen. His voice dropped lower, even if it was just to utter an ‘oh?’ of pure satisfaction. “My, my.” Mr. Puzzles added, as he sauntered over closer and leaned in close to roll a purr into his voice alongside your head. “Such flattery will get you everywhere, my dear.” A quieter whisper, a hint of static as Puzzles’ expression changed out of your view. “You look quite stunning yourself, I must say. What a pair we’ll make today!”
You needed a hole to open up beneath your feet right now.
Mr. Puzzles moved the side of his metal head to gently press to the side of yours.
Oh no.
He was going to be more insufferable and attention seeking tonight after that compliment.
“Why so worried?” Mr. Puzzles practically oozed confidence as he slipped an arm around yours to hook elbows as he slyly added. “Hearing you say such compliments…I do so enjoy receding them from you. But in the meantime, shall we go enjoy that party?”
“Yeah, let’s go.” You needed to get the upper hand again before Puzzles began trying to recite poetry at the get together for you in front of everyone in a showy way than when he was more genuine when it was just the two of you. Turning again, and patting his left arm around your right, you both urge Mr. Puzzles to lean down while you rose up on your toes to plant a kiss to the lower side of his metal head. A slight static crackle could be heard so near to his screen. A glance to the side allowed you a glimpse of what you thought were heart eyes and a heartbeat monitor flash across his face.
Mr. Puzzles faced coward for a moment before he craned his head down to press the lower half of his screen to your forehead. He let it linger there a moment, before Puzzles made a a dramatic kissing sound, and straightened. He looked inordinately pleased with himself as he observed your flushed face.
The joke was on him, however, as Mr. Puzzles’ face held a blush as his digital eyes focused on yours.
A beat of silence.
“You know, my dear, we could always skip the party.”
“If we don’t show up for at least a little while, Smg4 will think you kidnapped me again.”
“Rude! I only did that because Smg3’s bombs were about to go off right next to you!”
“And I appreciate the save, as disorienting as it was.”
“Hey, what’s going on here?” Mario made a sudden appearance. There was a great big smile partially hidden beneath that bushy mustache, the italian plumber’s smile spreading all the way to his eyes and crinkling the skin at the edges. “Mario’s thinking that he’s a interrupting something?”
It was funny to see how irate Mr. Puzzles became in Mario’s presence as Puzzles used his free arm to gather you to him. It was as if he thought the shorter man was going to whisk you away.
“Es-em-gee-four said you brought something for the party?” Mario prompted out of the blue.
“The scrupt!” Funny, how quickly Mr. Puzzles went full-on dramatic drama queen as he gasped loudly. “What a disaster!” Puzzles inhaled shortly as he let go of you entirely to place his hands to either side of his metal head. “I’ll be right back!” The man promptly retreated into his mind, leaving his metal head behind.
“The script is already with Smg4, isn’t it?” You snickered, addressing Mario, who was eying Puzzles head as of considering turning it on to some channel to watch. But when you spoke to him, blue eyes and the not-so-hidden smile spoke of mischief.
“Might have left that part out.” Mario admitted, before his smile softened and he teased you. “TV man really likes-a you, doesn’t he?” Then, before you can answer, he added. “You like him too.” A pause, then Mario gestured over to where Luigi and a few others were chatting as they walked along the path toward the showgrounds. “Want to see the castle decorations while TV Man runs around frantically-a looking for you?”
That you wanted to see.
You really shouldn’t, but who could resist spending time with Mario? The man was hilarious and so far was surprisingly aware of the fact that you couldn’t get up to anything too crazy in this world.
But for now?
You couldn’t help but snicker as you followed after Mario while he hummed a familiar tune; the two of you raced past Luigi and Saiko, looking like a pair misbehaving kids while taking a shortcut to the showgrounds.
Mr. Puzzles made a reappearance not too long after, static buzzing out of his speakers as he harrumphed over what happened and the fall that damned plumber had luring you off to do who knew what stupid shenanigans.
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possiblyreallyme · 1 month ago
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Kinktober day 24: jewelry/wealth kink with Sabo
warning: theft, mentions of toys, body worship, mentions of choking, p in v.
Kinktober Masterlist:
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Beautiful jewels get shoved into the pockets of his coat, golden trinkets and necklaces hide in his sleeves, and he simply gives a mock look of concern when the nobles around him start frantically searching for their missing diamond cufflets and earrings before he sneaks out of the ballroom he and Koala had infiltrated.
Of course, they're not for him. No, he's already planning on how he'll surprise you with the riches he's stolen this time, giggling childishly when he pictures how you'd react, all the while bashing a guard's face against the wall like it was nothing. It's like he can't help himself when something shiny sparkles in the corner of his eyes. That'll look so good on her, he always thinks.
"My love," He's purring like always, pink lips curled at the edges into a leer that makes pirates shiver, but he has only the best intentions as he bows and presses kisses to your, sadly, baren knuckles. You couldn't be surprised, and though the obvious weight in his shirt pocket does catch your eye, you already know what he's planning.
"I have something for you." He's done this a million times before, and the space in your closet specifically for his many finds and treasures is proof.
Gloved fingers clasp the many little hooks of the necklaces together around the back of your neck, sliding the rings onto your fingers with a smug smile as if he's just proposed, pressing kisses to your wrists before helping to cover them with bracelets. Eventually, he's even got you on a nice leather seat, pressing his lips to the top of your foot as he wraps your ankles in more gold and silver and jewels then you could count.
He's an utter showoff, and though his arrogance greatly annoys his peers, he just can't find it in himself to stop. He's the second in command of the Revolutionary Army— why not flaunt his skills a bit by swiping anything your eyes dart to when out in public?
"I told you-" He moans as he drills his cock into you again, hips meeting yours as he grinds his pelvis into the beautiful silver and onyx belly-chain he stole from the duke's daughter on his last mission, one that so perfectly stretched across your stomach and stayed tied around your waist with its webs made of pearl and aquamarine. "-It looks so damn good on you."
He lives for the way your moans and whines harmonize with the jingle of all the jewelry, biting his tongue in an effort to hold back his own noises— the last thing he wanted was to drown out the siren-like calls you let out.
His eyes zeroed in on the golden pieces around your nipples, reaching a hand up to pinch at the sensitive flesh and make you writhe, his own lashes fluttering in sync with yours as his eyes roll back in his head.
"Ughhhhh- wish you could see how perfect you look, boutta cum so hard," He's practically babbling at this point, blond locks stuck to his cheeks with sweat. Cock pulsing each time his blunt, red tip pressed to your cervix.
The beauty that he saw in you was something a poet would die to write about, how Sabo could never call your face and your body anything but ethereal, no matter if it was decorated with pretty jewels or completely baren. Though the treasures accentuating your skin and shining in the light did itch his brain in a way that made him feel more like a dumb virgin, aching for release than he did a painfully smart revolutionary.
"Wanna- wanna fuck you with a diamond up your pretty ass. Wanna choke you with gold." Why he wanted to see you bathed in wealth and cum was something he didn't quite understand, but it didn't worry him enough to try and find out.
"You want that? Wanna suck on a ruby while I fuck your hot little cunt, sweet girl?" He panted out, hips stuttering at the thought. He always felt proud of how you tightened up when he spoke like that, and his cock continued to swell as he held back the release that had been building up since he bottomed out half an hour ago.
He didn't think twice about what he told you, saying anything and everything that came to his mind no matter how dirty or odd it sounded. He couldn't even think when he was so overwhelmed with the sight of you all wrapped up in shimmering trinkets, when his nose almost burned from the sweet smell of your cunt and the arousal your sex splatted against his, when his ears were ringing from the pleasure but he could hear your moans and the squelching of your pussy so perfectly— not to mention how good it felt when you got so tight.
"Please, wrap your hands around my cock while you're wearing those gold rings I got you, please?"
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fetusgooseandjuice · 2 months ago
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Perfect
Pairing(s): Knight!Natasha Romanoff x Princess!Reader
Summary: Natasha becomes insecure about her place in your life.
Word Count: 2.9k
Warnings: Tony Stark being a jerk
Authors Note: This is another mini-oneshot to my fic “Soulmates”. I’d recommend reading that one before this for context to be able to grasp the storyline! Also I have deleted this post and reposted it so many times because it wasn't showing up in the tag at first lol
Mini-oneshots: Forever | Promise
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(Takes place before Natasha proposes in Forever)
“Great work today everyone, but stay behind just for a moment as we should have a guest arriving any minute now.” commander Fury said.
Natasha wiped her forehead with a towel before taking another big gulp of water. Her and the rest of the knights had just finished their weekly training session, and were now cleaning up to return home.
“If it’s another one of his war buddies coming to help tell all of their ‘stories in battle’ again, I’m slipping out the back gate.” Clint muttered.
The redhead rolled her eyes and chuckled, “You act as if you actually have somewhere else to be that’s not here.”
A playful scoff left the man, “I’ll have you know that I have a date later, and I’d prefer not to smell like dirt and sweat when I see her.”
Clint Barton was the first friend Natasha made when she began training to become a knight years ago. He specialized in archery, and would often help teach the trainees the ways of the bow and arrow.
He met Natasha after the arrow she’d shot nearly took the man’s head off— hence why her area of specialty was always hand-to-hand combat.
That was the first and last time he chose to stand off to the side whenever she held the weapon. From then on, he made a point to always stand behind her instead.
“Oh, so Laura finally agreed to go out with you?”
He shrugged with a smug smirk, “She was bound to say yes eventually,”
“May I have your attention everyone!” commander Fury’s booming voice sounded, interrupting their conversation.
Beside him now stood a familiar face.
“This is Lord Tony Stark,” he began, “He has been so kind to take the time to design us some new armor and weapons, so make sure to pick yours up from the armory at some point and thank Lord Stark on your way out. You’re all dismissed.”
At that, everyone moved to finish packing up and begin heading out.
Natasha was acquainted with the noble. His name had sometimes come up during your rants about the meetings you’d attended that day. Needless to say he was a genius, but at times could be a little self-absorbed and insensitive.
“As smart as that man is he sure can say some really dumb stuff.” Natasha remembered you saying.
She quickly grabbed her bag and made her way toward the exit of the training grounds, leaving Clint having to jog to catch up with her.
“So now you seem to have somewhere to be too,” he teased.
The redhead didn’t have the chance to make another playful remark as a smile overtook her features that’d be difficult for anyone to miss.
“Y/n is coming home from her trip to the neighboring kingdom tonight, and I want to do something nice for her.”
Clint raised his eyebrows, “Does this ‘something nice’ have anything to do with that ring in your bag?”
She’s had the ring for almost a month now. Yelena and her mother helped to pick it out, but she was still thinking about how and when to pop the question.
“Not yet,” Natasha said, “I haven’t spoken to the King and Queen about it, and I want it to be perfect when I ask her so I still have planning to do.”
The archer scrunched his nose in a faux look of disgust, “God, when did you become such a romantic? What are they feeding you over there in that castle?”
Natasha rolled her eyes, “You’ll understand if things work out between you and Laura.”
As they approached the exit gate, the face of Lord Stark became clearer. He was exchanging a few words with each knight as they left, some deciding to shake the nobles hand as well.
When it was their turn, Clint gave a firm nod of his head and held out a hand for Lord Stark to shake.
“I wouldn’t suppose some new bows and arrows were included in this upgrade as well?”
Lord Stark raised his eyebrows, “Wouldn’t be much of a weapon upgrade if I left those out now would it?“
As Clint thanked him, Starks eyes now focused on Natasha when she stepped up, giving him a small smile of gratitude.
“Thank you for helping us out. It is much appreciated.” she said.
“Of course,” he gave a nod of his head. Just as the pair of knights went to leave he spoke up again, “Romanoff, right? The one with the Princess?”
Natasha turned back to him with a look of confusion etched on her face at the reason for his question.
“That would be me,” the redhead answered. “May I ask why?”
“No reason. Just surprised you two are still together is all.”
“Excuse me?”
Lord Stark laughed lightly, “Oh don’t get me wrong it is adorable. You know, the whole childhood sweetheart thing.”
“So what seems to be the problem?” a displeased frown settled upon the knights eyebrows.
“I’m only shocked she isn’t bored of you yet with how long you’ve been together.” he chuckled, “I mean she is the Princess. Plenty of people have their eyes on her, and who’s to say she hasn’t been looking at them too?”
“What’s it to you?” Natasha snapped, “What is the point you’re trying to make here?”
She didn’t even know why she still standing there listening to him, much less engaging in the frustrating conversation.
“Relax, I was only joking. No need to get so defensive.” the noble chuckled.
“Well then I guess I failed to understand what was funny about anything you said,” Natasha said as she readjusted the bag on her shoulder, “Have a good rest of your day, Lord Stark.”
With that, the redhead brushed past the man and stormed out of the courtyard.
She didn’t know how she managed to stay talking to him for that long, but she knew if she stuck around any longer things probably wouldn’t have ended the best way for either of them.
The archer was quick to catch up to his best friend, a look of concern now sat on his face.
“Are you alright, Nat?” he asked, “The nerve of that man is insane.”
Natasha nodded, “I’ll be fine, I just needed to walk away.”
“You know nothing he said is true, right?” Clint assured, “Y/n loves you and everyone can see that. They’re blind if they don’t.”
“I know,” she said, “I just want to get back and clean up before she gets home. You should probably do the same.”
As hesitant as he was to leave his friend alone, she was right. “Okay, but I’ll see you tomorrow alright?”
Natasha agreed and said her goodbyes to the man before they went their separate ways.
When you arrived home in the evening, the knight had asked the cooks to prepare your favorite to eat. She’d gathered both of your families in the dining room to share the meal, knowing how much you enjoyed family dinners after being away.
Everything appeared to be just as you had left it. Your mother and Melina were busy with their normal chatter; your father and Alexei chiming in as well. Natasha and Yelena were engaging in their everyday sibling banter.
But despite that Natasha didn’t seem like herself.
You couldn’t exactly pinpoint what was wrong, but it was clear that something was up based on the way she’d occasionally zone out. You’d have to call her name multiple times to gain her attention again.
Even then, she was tense and had a distant look in her eyes. As if she was afraid to look at you for too long.
“Is everything okay, Nat?” you’d asked her several times throughout the night.
Each time she flashed you her usual charming smile that always made you melt, and responded with an “Of course I am, princess. Why wouldn’t I be?”
You weren’t totally convinced.
The suspicions you had were confirmed as everyone was finishing up the last of their dinner and began cleaning up. The redhead had excused herself from the table, but never returned.
About a half hour had passed when worry had finally got the best of you, and you decided to search for your girlfriend. You first looked in the places she frequented most in the castle, but every room you searched you came out empty handed.
With one last place in mind, you made your way through the halls and out the front doors of the castle.
~ ~ ~
Natasha nocked the arrow onto the string and drew it back just as Clint showed her many times before, her eyes locked in on the target set up across the training grounds.
She took a deep breath in, releasing it completely before letting the string go. The arrow slid off her fingertips as it shot through the air and past the target, missing it completely.
The knight huffed and let her arms drop down to her sides as she stared at the still untouched bullseye despite her having shot four others before that.
“I think you’re supposed to be aiming for the target, you do know that right?”
Natasha turned to see you making your way over to her. She laughed and set the bow down as she sat on the grass. You joined her, deciding that this was more important than your mother lecturing you over the dress that would inevitably become dirty.
“I guess today is just not my day,” she shrugged.
“Anything you want to talk about?” you wondered, giving her the floor to speak freely, “You weren’t exactly acting like yourself at dinner.”
Natasha should’ve known she wouldn’t be able to hide this from you. You knew her like the back of your hand, and vice versa. Nothing ever got past the other.
“I just missed you is all,” she answered, giving you a small smile for extra reassurance.
Once again, you weren’t fooled.
“I missed you too, Nat. But that doesn’t explain it since I’m home now.” you said.
The redhead went silent, chirping from the crickets hiding out in the trees filling the air instead. She had no grounds to deny your words because she knew you’d see right through her.
“So what’s actually going on? Did something happen while I was gone?”
Natasha shook her head, “It’s nothing, really. I don’t want you to worry.”
“Well it’s a little too late for that,” you lightly chuckled, “And it’s clearly something if it’s bothering you this much. Was it something I did?”
“No!” she quickly assured, “God no, you haven’t done anything wrong.”
“So then talk to me, my love. Please,” you pleaded and reached to take her hand, your thumb stroking over the back of her palm.
The knight sighed and forced herself to look straight ahead. The gentleness in your eyes made her want to tell you everything.
Every thought she’s ever had, every secret she’s ever kept, every feeling she’s ever felt. That’s just the effect you had on her.
You made everything okay.
The worries and stresses plaguing her mind just seemed to dissipate little by little until they were gone whenever she was with you.
And as much as Natasha fell in love with you because of that, she was now questioning if she even deserved to have you look at her the way you were.
“Do you ever think about what it would be like if you’d chosen someone else to be with?”
Your eyes slightly widened as your mouth opened just to shut again multiple times in disbelief.
“What?”
Out of all the things you could’ve predicted her to say, that was not one of them.
“You’ve never been with anyone before me. We became exclusive as teenagers, and you just stuck with me.” Natasha explained, and you nodded to confirm what she said was true.
“Do you not ever wonder what it’d feel like to be with someone else?”
“Nat, where is this coming from?” you asked, “Have you been thinking about that for a while, or did someone say something?”
The redhead finally looked at you, sadness evident in her gaze, “Lord Stark stopped by during training.” she said, and you had a good idea of where this was going now.
“He made us some new equipment and when I went to talk to him, he said he was surprised you were still with me. That he was shocked you hadn’t gotten bored yet.”
You had first hand experience working with the noble during council meetings for the kingdom and his ideas were beneficial, but he was also notorious for his filterless mouth.
A sigh left your lips and you squeezed her hand, “Nat, I don’t think Lord Stark has ever kept a woman around for more than a few weeks, so he’s probably familiar with people getting tired of him.” you chuckled.
Natasha cracked a smile, but it was short lived.
“You don’t think he has a point, though?”
“No, I do not.” you said. You wish you could slap Lord Stark for making her feel like this. “I’ve never wanted anyone else because I found everything I need in you.”
The redhead looked down at your connected hands, fighting the urge to fidget with your finger she hoped to soon have decorated with the ring in the bag lying next to her. She opted to interlace your fingers instead.
“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to settle for me just because I’m your first relationship.”
“Oh, Nat. Come here,” you tugged on her hand and guided the knight to lay on her side, her head resting safely in your lap. “You don’t understand how perfect you are.”
Your fingers began to run through her messily braided her, brushing back the loose strands from in front of her face. Natasha immediately relaxed under your touch.
“Perfect might be a bit of a stretch,” she murmured.
“I don’t think it is,” you disagreed, “You look out for your parents, and Yelena, and the people you love. Even people you don’t know because you’re so selfless.”
Now that you’ve started, you could probably go on for hours about all the reasons you chose Natasha Romanoff over anybody else. You probably would because it’s clear she needs to hear them in this moment.
“And you’re just as sweet with me. The way you take care of me. The way you always know what I need before I even know myself. It’s like you have a sixth sense,” you giggled and you felt the redhead chuckle against you too.
“Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve you because to me you’re just so perfect in every way imaginable.”
That was when Natasha decided to maneuver onto her back instead, now staring straight up at you.
“There you are,” you grinned softly down at her.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
Your head tilted as your fingers continued to card through her red strands, “For what?”
“I don’t know why I was acting like that. I was being ridiculous.”
“Nat, you were not being ridiculous. You were feeling vulnerable and that’s okay. You don’t have to act like you’re fine when you’re not around me.”
“I know,” Natasha said and took your freehand to bring it up so she could press a kiss to the back of it. “I know, princess. I love you so much,”
You smiled softly at her and leaned down enough to connect your lips. It was slow and gentle, you just wanted her to know you were here and not going anywhere.
When you pulled back you didn’t go very far, your face still hovering centimeters above hers, “Hey,” you mumbled.
She opened her eyes at that to meet your gaze.
“It’s you, and it’ll only ever be you. Okay?”
Natasha softly smiled against yours lips and nodded, “Okay,”
You gave her one last peck before urging her to sit up when you began standing, “Alright, now show me how it’s really done.”
The knight stood up as well and watched you pick up her bow along with another arrow from the bag. She rose an eyebrow and crossed her arms as she looked at you amusingly.
“What are you doing?” Natasha chuckled.
You pushed the weapon into her hands before backing away, “I want to watch you practice,” you answered simply.
Natasha shook her head, “As much as I love it when you watch, I think you’d just be disappointed.”
“Come on, just try one more time, please?”
Of course, the redhead struggled to say no to your face. Natasha sighed and turned towards the target once again, correcting her stance like she’d done earlier and nocked the arrow.
Drawing back the string, she precisely aimed the arrow and exhaled a deep breath before letting go. The knight expected it to miss by a long shot like they had earlier, but was proven wrong when it landed dead center in the bullseye.
You had an innocent smile on your face when Natasha turned to look back at you, like you had known she’d hit the bullseye when you first forced the bow into her hands.
“What was that about today not being your day?” you wondered.
God, you really did make everything okay.
Natasha broke into a big grin and motioned you towards her, “Come here,” she said.
Your head tilted slightly at her request, but still made your way over to her, “What?”
She just chuckled. “I want to show you how to shoot a bow,”
The redhead was now realizing that she’d probably be needing that ring much sooner than she originally thought.
~ end ~
Authors Note PT 2: I don’t know if I like this one but here it is! Also I finally decided to give the commander a name and add in Clint bc you can’t have a Natasha series without her best friend ofc
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camilledlc · 2 months ago
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I think Wade Wilson is way more intelligent than people give him credit for. Or, another character essay no one asked for :
This will be based both on comics and movies. Also, spoilers for Deadpool and Wolverine.
I think it's often said that Wade doesn't know how to read situations, as he often acts inappropriately during them. He doesn't seem to sense the mood of the person he's talking to, angering them more often than not, and he doesn't really care about watching his mouth around children, etc. There are tons of examples of Wade being 'stupid', and 'immature', blah blah blah. But I don't think that's quite true.
Wade has also numerous moments where he perfectly reads a situation. He is extremely aware of how others may perceive his scars, he figured Negasonic Teenage Warhead pretty easily during the first movie (when talking about sarcastic comments or whatever, if I remember correctly). He knows how people act and think, and he definitely knows how to assess a situation. When he got Johnny Storm killed, he knew what he was doing. He was into a dangerous situations, just having been kidnapped and he couldn't fight, not even knowing how strong and what powers Cassandra Nova had. But by turning her against Johnny, not only was he able to assess her, but also prove that he wasn't here to cause her trouble. It was a cruel and ruthless action, but it was smart nonetheless.
Besides, people often forgets very important facts about his skills. Wade is an extremely good fighter, and that's partially due to the fact that he's a master at almost every martial arts. He knows a bunch of them, and he is capable of practicing them with impeccable form. He's also a master at espionage, infiltrations, cover missions, etc. He knows how to handle a lot of different weapons, and he is canonically one of the best fighters in the entire Marvel Universe. All of those skills require a certain level of intelligence. Fighting demands to remember the different styles and techniques, as well as enough practice to switch between them easily. Espionage, infiltration, and cover missions demand someone who is capable of discretion and and ability to judge a situation, notice details that no one else would and invent on the spot creative ways to do things. All in all, he has to be extremely smart to be able to do all of that. That's also without counting the fact that he knows how to speak fluently five different languages.
With all of these proofs, it's impossible to say that Wade is dumb. But why does he acts like it?
There is no official answer as to why Wade is this way. The most you can get is that he is extremely mentally unstable. This is the result of both a bad childhood and very traumatizing experiences as a superhero. It is said he was already mentally unstable during his childhood, so I'm inclined to believe that it also has something to do with his brain in general.
What I personally believe is that Wade is someone who gets bored extremely easily. He has ADHD (not really official in the movies, but canon in the comics), and he always seems to jump from one topic to the other. His mind is often considered a mess, and he himself sometimes has trouble keeping up with it. I think that someone like him has to be stimulated at all times, because boredom is definitely the worst thing that could happen to him. Even in the last movie, he seemed to hate his job because of how boring it was, not hesitating to go back into action and becoming more and more himself again as he just do exciting things. He has always been like this, even before he got his regenerating factor. When he did his job, he wasn't always careful and often loud-mouthed. It didn't interest him to just kill people, he wanted a fight. He wanted a back and forth, a sort of game. He needs to feel in danger, needs the thrill of it.
But then he gets his mutation. Suddenly, he can't die, he can't be seriously hurt, nothing has any real consequences. And so the games became boring. What is the point of putting himself in dangerous situations if he's never really in danger? How boring it is to do a job where you're perfectly safe? The only kind of thrill he can find anymore is by having the back and forth verbally. That's when it has consequences, and people actually able to surprise him, to beat him even. Attacking by talking his is one way to not feel bored. He surprises, he shocks, he annoys, but it's always different. Even during the last movie, when he was with Logan, he clearly said they didn't need to fight, yet he couldn't stop edging him verbally, always finding ways to push his buttons.
Wade is a very bored person, with a great understanding of where the limits are. And because he's so good at finding the limits, he's even better at crossing them willingly, sometimes at the expanse of the people he loves, because he can't be bored.
(I also like the interpretation of him just needing to be at the centre of attention, but I think it's a bit more classical and has already been done and re-done. So, this one is a bit trickier and way funnier for me.)
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explicit-tae · 1 month ago
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Ungodly Hour (Jimin)
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I think you deserve a treat.” @seokjinkismet @bloodline1632 @babycandy111 @investedreader
Word Count: 7.081
Warning: dirty talk, sexting, cursing, jimin being in denial, hatefucking, slight enemies to friends to lovers??, kissing, semi-public sex, masturbation (f), oral sex, finger sucking, unprotected sex, voyeurism/exhibitionism, face-slapping,
Kinktober Masterlist
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“So,” Jungkook begins, lightly tapping his foot against the floor. “you pay for Onlyfans...”
“Shut,” Jimin’s teeth grits. “the fuck up.”
Jungkook roars with laughter, his head pushed back to let it out. Like clockwork, Taehyung begins to laugh which causes Hoseok, too, as well. 
Jimin’s ears are red, just as his neck, with embarrassment. 
This wasn’t the norm - he wasn’t the butt of jokes. Jungkook was and always has been. He doesn’t know how to handle the embarrassment. He does understand that he hates you with every fiber of his being.
Maybe hate was a strong word. Jimin didn’t hate you - you were, however, a rival of his. 
You and your constant smart remarks underneath his tweets. 
You always go against him in debates while in classes with such a condescending tone that has his hands clenching.
The way you post suggestive pictures on your twitter pages that doesn’t show everything, but just enough to have his mind wandering for more.
The way you tempt him with the link to your Onlyfans pinned on your profile that even he - someone who loathes you - has to check and see just how much of a mess you were. 
The way that you weren’t a mess in the slightest and all of the free pictures you show only forces him to subscribe to you to see more; not because he thought you were attractive - just because he was a naturally nosy individual.
“I hate her.” Jimin says what he’s thinking aloud. “Because of that bitch, now I’m Jungkook.”
“A simp?” Taehyung questions with a raise of his eyebrow. 
“You’re going to start barking next?” ask Hoseok.
“Okay,” Jungkook raises his hands in confusion. “why are we reverting the bullying back to me?”
Jimin rolls his eyes. “I’m doing no such thing.” he hisses. “Okay, fine. I may have subscribed. I was bored.”
Hoseok snorts.
“So bored that you became her top earner in the last few months?” Jungkook was having entirely too much fun with this. Finally, he wouldn’t be the one laughed at. Sure, Jimin and you weren’t dating and probably never would - but no longer was he the only “simp” in the friend group.
“She’s lying!” Jimin scoffs - even if you weren’t. There were certain videos that in order to be unlocked, he had to pay for them. And how could he not when you made them entirely too enticing for him, showing only a few seconds of clips that would draw him in. 
“The screenshots she posted aren’t lies.” Jungkook purses his lips to hide the smirk.
Jimin is silent for a moment, his hands tapping rhythmically onto his thigh. He snatches his phone from the side of the couch to see if what Jungkook was saying is true - and low and behold it was.
“That fucking bitch.” Jimin swallows, not believing that his life was going downhill. Everyone would see him as some sort of simp freak like Jungkook, but worse! 
“I think you’ve met your match, hyung.” Jungkook roars with laughter again. 
“Why did you provoke her if she had all this dirt on you?” Hoseok shakes his head. 
“I didn’t think she’d know it was me!” Jimin throws his phone to the side. “Shouldn’t things like that be confidential?!”
Maybe it was dumb - he had signed up with his actual account. However, he figured that you wouldn’t be able to see that. That only meant you could see everything he sent you - the gifts from your wishlist were probably the worse ones. 
Jimin was feeling sick.
“It was confidential. Until you provoked her.” 
Jimin licks his lips and rolls his eyes. 
“You know this is normal, right? I mean…” Hoseok shrugs his shoulders. “You’re attracted-”
Jimin scoffs loudly. “As if.”
“Jimin,” Taehyung shakes his head. “We’ve seen how much you spent on her. Literally.” he begins to chuckle. “And that’s okay.”
“Yeah, it is!” Jungkook nods his head encouragingly. 
Jimin swallows. No, it wasn’t okay. If Jungkook was agreeing with him about something then that only meant that he was slowly becoming like the younger boy. Soon it’ll be Jimin obsessing over what you’re doing, and how much he wants to see you and-
Jimin gags. 
Honestly fuck you and everything you stand for. 
And even if that’s what Jimin stood by, even now as he lays in his bed staring up at the ceiling. His mind wanders to you, as disgusted as he was at the fact. 
Jimin snatches his phone from his nightstand and he’s determined. 
Fuck you for embarrassing him, truly. He was going to unsubscribe from you and then you wouldn’t have anything. It serves you right for attempting to humble him.
Jimin opens his phone with every attempt to unsubscribe from your Onlyfans and save him the embarrassment until a message pops onto his phone from a number he doesn’t recognize.
Curiosity gets the best of him and Jimin clicks the message. His eyes widen and it doesn’t take long for him to feel the erection through his pajama pants. 
It was you. How you got his number, he’s unsure. Yet, you seem to have gotten closer to Jungkook’s girlfriend - someone else who irks his soul - and just maybe you’ve gotten it from her. 
You had sent him a picture.
Of course, it wasn’t just any picture. It couldn’t be just any picture that would allow his cock to grow hard in seconds and his palms to grow sweaty. 
It was a picture of you in the very same lingerie you had in your wishlist - the very same one he bought for you. 
By now, Jimin knows your body. He’s become more than acquainted with the shape of your hips along with the plumpness of your breast; even the softness of your smooth skin. It’s pathetic, truly, and he’s grown ashamed of himself.
It’s a lilac color that he knew would look amazing against your skin - and it does. It’s a lacy fabric so he could just see how erect your nipples were and how it clung to the shape of your body. 
Jimin is unaware how long he’s staring at the picture until you send him another message.
‘I think you deserve a treat.’
Jimin swallows thickly, finding that his throat is dry and he is in serious need of some water. He coats his lips with his tongue, his eyes trained onto the picture, contemplating if he should respond to you or not.
You were the reason for every irritation currently in his life - exposing him as some sort of horny loser that dotted on your every command. As if he was a sort of dog that humps your leg needily!
But…this picture.
Jimin would be lying if he said the picture of you didn’t cause his already sweaty palm to grip his cock entirely through his pajama pants, mind racing if he should allow you to consume him once more. He was on a mission to humble you the best way he knew how - by unsubscribing. But here you were, as if knowing his plans, sending him pictures that would surely cause him to become distracted.
Jimin is startled when his phone begins to sound loudly, your number on his caller id, as if taunting him even further. Jimin doesn’t answer it instantly, not wanting you to know just how stuck on his phone you had him.
“What do you want?”
Jimin can hear his heart pounding in his chest as he awaits your response. He attempts to sound annoyed with you and he ponders if you know that it’s all an act.
“Jimin…”
Jimin feels the hair on his arms stiffen and rise, as if a cold breeze just runs through his body entirely. The way you say his name, so sickly sweet and yet, a hint of something sinister underneath.
“Are you upset with me, Jimin?”
Jimin swallows, his hand squeezing his phone tighter in his hand. You rarely say his name to begin with so to hear it come directly from your sweet lips causes something to go through him. Maybe it’s because Jimin knows just how sweet your voice is - how lust-filled the moans you release through them. 
But, Jimin understands that you cannot know just how much he is affected by you. He won’t allow you to have the upper hand. You won the battle, sure, by embarrassing him. However, the war was his to accomplish.
“I am.” Jimin grunts. “You’re a bitch.”
Jimin hears you laugh behind the phone and his heart jolts in excitement.
“We both knew that.” you say coolly. “Isn’t that what excites you?”
Jimin scoffs. 
“Don’t act all high and mighty, Jimin.” you respond. “You watch me fuck myself faithfully. That has to excite you somehow.”
Jimin’s eyes widen a bit, mentally cursing himself for allowing you to gain the upper hand. 
“Not anymore.”
“Ah, so you’re that upset, huh?” 
You don’t seem bothered by Jimin stating that he’s going to unsubscribe to your godforsaken onlyfans and inside, he’s seething.
“So upset that you vowed to stop jerking off to me?”
Jimin scoffs. The nerve of you!
“You’re going to lie and say I didn’t give you the best nut of your life behind a screen?” you begin to laugh, a melodic tune that infuriates him to no end. “You’re embarrassed to know that Jungkook isn’t the only one simping.”
“Like I’d ever truly simp for you!” Jimin snaps, nearly barking right into the phone. “A whore like you should be thankful that I would even give you my money. I saw you as nothing but a charity case.”
You’re silent on the other end, eerily so. Jimin takes a few moments to collect himself, contemplating that maybe his ego got the best of him for a moment. He licks his lips, his mind pondering if he should…apologize. He wants to gag.
“You must live alone with all that hollering you’re doing over the phone.”
Your tone is as nonchalant as ever and deep down, Jimin is glad that he hadn’t taken it too far to truly upset you.
“And here I was calling you to make sure I didn’t bruise your ego too much.” you tsk. “Looks like I did.”
You begin to giggle again. Your attitude strikes a nerve through him that only you ever hit. The flashbacks running through his mind of all the times you and he went at it - debates, during class presentations, under tweets and even now. You got off on irritating him just the same as he got off from you.
“I wanted to make it up to you.”
Jimin furrows a brow at that statement. 
“Make it up to me how? Beg me not to unsubscribe?”
Jimin hears you snicker from behind the phone. “No. You can unsubscribe right now.” you say, yet again with little care that it strikes yet another nerve through him. “But, we both know if you wanted to, you would have already.”
Jimin hates how right you are. He doesn’t want to stop the endless amount of pictures and videos you share, especially the exclusive ones that have to be bought. Money isn’t an issue for Jimin and he found that he’s spent an insane amount on you already - no wonder you’re such a bitch. How could you take him seriously if he wasn’t even taking himself seriously now.
Jimin groans.
“How are you planning on making it up to me?” Jimin questions. “Publicly apologizing to me and admitting you’re inferior to me-”
“By allowing you to fuck me raw.” you interrupt him entirely, causing Jimin to choke on his own speech. Once more, the phone tightens in his grasp and his breathing hitches. “Of course, you’ll need to share your STD results and I’ll share mine-”
“What the fuck are you getting at?” Jimin hisses, his heart pounding. Surely you were attempting to embarrass him by seeing how fast he’d react to your insane comments.
“Are you saying you don’t want to fuck me?” you hum. “After all the times you’ve watched my videos? Sent me gifts? Or was I just a charity case?”
Jimin takes a deep breath. Okay, sure. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that - but he was upset at the moment. He has never met anyone where he felt as though he’s met his match. Him, Park Jimin, felt like you, Y/L Y/N, matched his energy so perfectly that he doesn’t know how to handle it.
“You don’t have to do this because you feel like you have to.” Jimin murmurs, unclenching his phone slightly. It’s an act of kindness he’s supposed he can spare towards you. 
“I know.”
For a moment, the both of you are silent. He waits in anticipation for you to speak further.
“I’ll text you my results and you do the same.”
Jimin feels it once more, the jump in his stomach. He never truly thought either of you would get to this point, nor does he understand how it even got here. 
“You actually want to do this?”
“It was bound to happen.”
Jimin knits his brows at that. Was it?
Once Jimin joined your onlyfans and witnesses just how, dare he say, enticing you were, he was ashamed to say that he was captivated.
Possibly that was why he had to antagonize you during classes; an act you returned without an issue.
One too many times did Jimin and you go at it during classes, far too enthralled in debating one another, did his mind wander to something darker. Bending you over and forcing you to shut up like he wanted you to was one way.
Taking a deep breath, Jimin licks his lips. “Just for one night…” you begin, a tone that catches Jimin’s ear, causing it to twitch. “...I’ll do as you say.”
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“What makes someone worthy of leading?” 
Class is nearly over, yet Jimin and you never halted your debate. Overtime, it became practical that even the professor enjoyed listening in on. 
“The true question is, why would someone want to lead anything?” you ask with a tilt of your head. You wore a skirt today, Jimin notes, and your legs are smooth and shiny beneath the classroom's bright lights. “I believe it is because they’re narcissistic.”
“Narcissistic?” Jimin scoffs with a roll of his eyes. He catches the way you begin to coat your lips with a shimmery gloss.
“Yes, Jimin. Is that a big word for you?” you blink his way.
 A few snicker sounds throughout the class and Jimin could only give you a short grin. Later, he was going to have you shut the fuck up like he truly wanted you to.
“Money. Power. Respect.” you hold up your fingers as you list off your point. “It all leads down to greed and narcissism.”
“So…regular humans?” Jimin furrows a brow. “Please name me someone that doesn’t require anything you listed off.”
You lean back against your chair, arms crossed.
The past week, Jimin and you continued to talk over the phone. It wasn’t always sexual, and oftentimes it would be about school. The time clock was ticking down to the time you and him would be together - the weekend was what he suggested. Still, the show must go on; even if you were determined to fuck his brains out.
“Beyond popular belief, Jimin,” you begin, your eyes shining with mischief. You know what saying his name does to him and there was nothing a little teasing would harm. “there’s people out there that aren’t fueled by greed.”
“Maybe so.” Jimin shrugs. “Still, whoever the hell those people are possibly think they’re the best, right? They believe they’re the best type of people to do the job? Is that not narcissistic?”
“Those people could want it more than others do.” you respond with a shrug.
An alarm sounds - placed by the professor that indicates when classes are over.
Taehyung watches from his seat as Jimin and you continue to stare at one another, hard gazes that are full of lust that he wants to scoff. He believes that the both of you need to fuck it out - immediately. 
You gather your things, being the first to take your eyes away.
Jimin watches the way your hips sways as you saunter away, your legs appearing longer than usual. Taehyung notices the dark look in his eyes - more than lust, yet not pure hatred.
“You, my good sir,” Taehyung slams a hand on his friend's shoulder. “want to fuck her so bad.” he says with a loud cackle. “The sexual tension is high as hell. You got the rest of us horny and-”
“Shut the fuck up, please.” Jimin snaps, shrugging off Taehyung’s hand. Usually he wasn’t this snappy with him of all people and truly, Taehyung doesn’t take it to offense. “I hate her.”
“Sure.” Taehyung smirks, his eyes following Jimin’s gaze right in time for you to turn your head to look their way; directly at Jimin. “I’m positive she hates you, too.”
“Fucking bitch.” Jimin murmurs, gathering his own belongings. He continues to murmur beneath his breath, storming out of the classroom and going the opposite way of Taehyung. 
Jimin’s eyes catch you almost instantly in the sea of scattering students. Once more, almost as if you can sense his hard eyes on you, you turn your head to look at him. You flash him a low smirk that only begins to irritate him more.
You enjoyed irking him, Jimin’s sure. You don’t stop walking, turning down hallways that no one but Jimin steps into until you step into a classroom, closing the door right behind you.
You’re seated on a desk when Jimin slams the door open, uncaring that it slams against the wall. 
You snicker. “Jimin.” you say, tilting your head. “You following me?”
Jimin steps inside, shoulders relaxing a bit. You scan his appearance for the first time. Simpler than he usually wears, only dark jeans with rips at the knees with a similar dark shirt. It resembles the way Jungkook would usually wear, you note.
“You’re a bitch.”
You aren’t taken aback by Jimin’s words. It causes you to laugh, highly amused by his statement. 
“I know. That’s what you like about me, huh?” you bat your eyelashes as Jimin proceeds to close the door behind him.  “You look so tense, Jimin, what’s-”
“You love embarrassing me.” Jimin interrupts, taking a long stride towards you. “It must make your pussy wet when you talk shit to me.”
You remain silent, yet your smile never falters.
“You told me, Y/N, that for one night,” Jimin is in front of you, your legs lightly swinging. “you were going to shut the fuck up.”
“For one night, I’ll do as you say.” you repeat your words from a few days prior. Your hand reaches out to touch Jimin’s chest. It’s broad, only slightly surprising you. “Is what I said.”
“And yet, you haven’t done anything.”
“You haven’t told me to do anything.” your responses come immediately after he speaks, just as quick witted as he is. 
“Hm.” Jimin glances around the classroom. It doesn’t look like any professor inhabits this room. The lights are flickering slightly and the surrounding tables have slight dust on them. “Pick your poison.”
You lick your lips. Your hand remains on his chest, this time clenching onto his shirt.
“You’re the one that’s supposed to be in charge.” you murmur. “I’ll do whatever you say.”
Jimin blinks towards you. You’re serious, he notes. 
“I need to know what not to do.” Your hand unclenches his shirt to slightly trail down his chest towards his abs.
“I’ll let you know when we get there, yeah?” you say, eyes remaining on him almost innocently. If only he didn’t know just how lack of innocence you truly contained. 
Jimin hums, tilting his head a bit.
It would be a lie to say Park Jimin wasn’t attractive - which is why you never did. However, you weren’t going to be a part of the women who adored him. He already had a large ego and enough sass.
Possibly this was one of the reasons why you decided to go against him in anything he did.
“Kiss me.”
Jimin’s lips are plump - you always thought so. Though now, you would have never thought he would demand you to do so. Kissing felt slightly more intimate than just a casual hookup, but you didn’t mind.
You scoot yourself closer to the edge of the desk towards Jimin, lifting your head a bit. Your trailing hand is quick to grasp the back of Jimin’s neck and force him down towards your waiting lips.
Dare Jimin says the kiss causes a spark, shooting electricity through his veins that causes him to groan against your lips. He deepens the kiss, your sweet lips coating his own with the shimmery gloss, but he doesn’t mind in the slightest.
You break the kiss to sink your teeth on Jimin’s bottom lip playfully. “You get a pass to do whatever you want to me and all you want to do is kiss?” you tease.
“I like you better when you’re quiet.” Jimin pecks your lips again. “But a bitch like you never knows when to shut up.” And yes, it was what Jimin liked about you.
“Degradation kink. Noted.” you nod your head, earning a soft chuckle from Jimin, a break of character. “I’ll be your bitch for tonight. Then…” it was your turn to press a kiss against his lips. “...it’ll be my turn.”
Jimin feels an excited jump in his stomach.
“My bitch?”Jimin isn’t sure why he likes the sound of that. Maybe because now he could do what he always wanted to you and you’d do as he said; finally. You wouldn’t go against him like you did during classes or embarrass him in front of others.
“Touch yourself.”
You’re taken aback by Jimin’s request. He proceeds to take a few steps back, sitting against a table with crossed arms.
“Get naked and touch yourself. Like you do on your onlyfans.”
Your body engulfs in warmth. You were by no means embarrassed by the fact that you had an onlyfans; most people who knew you knew that you did. If they were bothered by it, you didn’t care. 
Yet, it was different recording yourself in the comfort of your own home and uploading it. You never really know how many people are watching you as you didn’t want to think about the amount of eyes; yet even now as Jimin was only one person, it’s a request you weren’t familiar with.
“Don’t act shy now, Y/N.” Jimin’s plump lips form into a smirk. He notices the look upon your face, shocked and confused. “I watched you fuck yourself all the time.”
It’s just the two of you here. There was no hiding - initially, Jimin thought him being subscribed to you would be confidential. Now realizing that it’s not, he finds it…hot. In a way.
You swallow the lump in your throat, biting back a snarky remark. 
You were his bitch tonight, you tell yourself. It’s all a game that you initiated, you can’t back down now.
You lift your shirt over your head, Jimin’s dark eyes watching the way you discard it. Your breasts are guarded by the lacy, white bra you wore.
Next was your skirt. You drop yourself from the desk to remove the jean skirt from your frame, revealing the matching lacy panties. Jimin begins to think you planned this further ahead than he thought.
You kick off your shoes, furrowing a brow at Jimin.
“Touch yourself.” Jimin repeats, a jolt in his own pants at the half-naked sight of you. His mouth salivates at witnessing your body - that he’s seen thousands of times before behind his screen - right in front of him. “The old fashion way. You don’t have any of your toys, baby.”
The pet-name was new. You were only ever used to the insults he hurled at you (that you gladly returned) yet it would be false if you said you didn’t enjoy it.
“Can you help me?” you ask Jimin, batting your eyelashes. You just couldn’t help yourself in returning his playful manner. “Take off my bra…?”
“Come.”
Your skin is soft, Jimin thinks. His hand ghosts behind your back, longing to touch you just as much as you want him to. His fingers unclasp your bra prior to him trailing up your spine to your shoulders. He lightly pushes away the straps from them so you can allow it to fall to the ground. 
“Thank you.” you murmur, your fingers digging into your panties as slowly, you begin to remove them, bending right in front of him as you do so.
Jimin swallows, his eyes fixed on you. His palms long to touch every inch of your body, but he remains stoic, understanding what you’re doing. It kills you to be the submissive one now, as you are a headstrong person.
“You’re very beautiful, Y/N.”
Jimin notices you stiffen again, the same shyness overwhelming you once more.
“Why are you continuing to act shy?” Jimin finally touches you, his hand reaches out to place itself onto your waist. “It’s just me.” he says, as if this is something you two did all the time. As if you and he hadn’t gone at each other's head since the beginning of the semester, seemingly hating one another.
You feel Jimin’s hand begin to lightly drag itself up your body. 
“Is this not what you want?”
“I do.” you respond instantly, the familiar heat rushing throughout your body by how quick you answered.
“Then do as I say. You said so yourself, right? Tonight you’ll be my bitch.” Jimin chuckles lightly, because that only meant next time he would be in your position. “And I want to watch you touch yourself, okay?”
You bite the inside of your lips as Jimin’s right hand ghosts past your breast. Slowly, you turn around to face him.
“Okay.” you nod your head. It’s funny to think that Jimin is coaching you in a way. You, the same girl who does this behind a screen every other day.  
You had to remind yourself just who the hell you were - Y/N. You never allowed Jimin to get to you before, why start now?
You seat yourself atop of the desk once more, fully naked like Jimin intended and your legs part slightly. 
Jimin licks his lips. Having seen your pussy many times you’d think it wouldn’t cause him to react this way; mouth salivating and cock throbbing in his pants. Atlas, he was just a man, after all.
You were about to place your hand right onto your clit when Jimin stopped you.
“You don’t have any toys with you.” Jimin reminds you. “You sure you’re wet enough?”
You were, Jimin thinks, truly wet enough. He can see you from here, yet he has to revel in this moment that you weren’t going to fight him.
Jimin begins to step forward, your eyes watching him closely.
“Give me your hand.” Jimin murmurs, his voice suddenly deeper - the deepest you’ve ever heard. 
You swallow, eyes slightly widening at the sound (and how it causes a tingle in your core). You do as you say, lifting your hand that Jimin takes. He places three fingers into his mouth, your index, middle and ring, and fully coats them with his tongue.
You haven’t had anyone do this before and you’re left shocked - and more than a little aroused. He takes them from his mouth and furrows a brow at you.
“Begin.” Jimin says, and nothing more. 
Nor does the man step away from you. Jimin is just as close, now fully intended on watching you from where he stands.
Jimin was getting off on this. The slight nervousness in your body language, the bewildered look on your face and the warmth of your embarrassed skin; it’s a sight he never gets to see while bickering with you in classes. It’s a vulnerable sight, indeed, one he wishes he can see more often.
Licking your lips, you nod your head softly. Your eyes remain on his, reaching between your legs to do exactly what he told you to. You’re already wet thanks to Jimin, a thought you never would have assumed to be possible.  
Your wet fingers twirl onto the sensitive clit, a soft moan passing your lips. Slightly, your back arches and draws you closer to Jimin, who still doesn’t step away as his eyes watch you. 
You’re unable to hold Jimin’s intense gaze any longer and your eyes begin to flutter close. 
Your free hand reaches upwards to grip your breast, hardened nipple brushed against your soft palm.
Jimin itches to touch you - feel your skin against the palm of his own hands. His mouth salivates hungrily to taste your skin; suckle onto your breast that bounces teasingly as you touch yourself. He wants to dive right between your legs and ravish on your pussy until you’re cumming against his tongue.
Jimin groans at the disgusting thoughts of you. It’s evident that the sexual desire was there before; for quite too long for his liking. Him watching your damn near daily didn’t help, either.
“Feels good?” Jimin murmurs, the same damn deep tone in his voice that arouses you further. “Speak when I’m talking to you.”
“Yes!” you whimper out, nodding your head rapidly. “Feels…so good.”
“You speak dirtier than that, baby.” Jimin chuckles, shaking his head. Without warning - his body speaks before his mind can - Jimin grasps your jaw, forcing you to look at him. “Talk to me like you do during your videos.”
You were a whore when you were in the comfort of your room. You spoke to your “viewers” as if you were right there with them, giving them what they wanted. A dirty whore who was willing and waiting; all a fantasy of course. A fantasy that sells.
“I wish it was your fingers touching me.”
Jimin grunts, his fingers tightening around your jaw. Your eyes are as cloudy as his now. 
“I think about you touching me…all the time…” you disclosed with struggle as Jimin makes no attempt to let you go. “Especially when we’re in class.”
Jimin quirks a brow.  “Yeah?” he responds smugly. 
“Y-Yeah…” your fingers go lower towards your clenching hole. “I-I think about you bending me over all the time. Right in front of everyone.”
Jimin is first to look away from you, cursing to himself at how slutty you were. He couldn’t allow you to take control of the situation, but damn was it hard. He wouldn’t consider himself a dominant person at all times. He had no problem with being teased - but that wasn’t what had to be done now.
“I think about you fucking me stupid.” you continue, your fingertips inching closer to your hole. “Fucking me until i’m begging you to stop. To take it easy on me.”
Fuck - Fuck - Fuck.
Jimin’s cock throbs.
“But I know you won’t…you never do.” you whimper, your fingers plunging inside of your wet entrance. “And deep down, we both know I don’t want you to. I’ll continue to be a little bitch to you because I know you’ll just fuck me into submission.”
Jimin releases your jaw only to slap you.
You’re caught off guard, sure, but you enjoyed the slap far too much.
“That’s why you fight me so much?” Jimin hisses. “A bitch like you can never just admit she wants to be fucked head-on?”
You lick your lips, remaining silent. You plunge your fingers deeper inside of you greedily, free hand now tugging on your hardened nipple.
“I should open the door and have everyone hear just how good I fuck you, huh?” Jimin growls, again slapping his hand against your face just to keep it there. The stinging feels good - especially at a time like this.
You whimper once more, nodding your head at the insane statement.
Jimin chuckles. “So fucked out that you’ll agree to anything.”
Jimin leans down to you to connect his lips, forcing your mouth open with his tongue. Kissing you isn’t something he’d ever thought he’d enjoy doing - he hated you. But, this was hot. You were hot and now more than anything, Jimin wanted every inch of you that you were willing to give.
“You can fuck me right now.” you say, breathing hitched when he releases your mouth. “And I’ll be submissive. I’ll let you do whatever you want.”
Your fingers weren’t enough. No, you needed Jimin’s cock in you. You needed to be fucked by him to release all the tension you and he held for years.
“You can cum wherever you want.” you whisper, breath tickling his skin. “On my ass…breast…face…” your teeth clamp down on Jimin’s bottom lip. “...or inside me.”
Jimin shakes his head. You were a deadly person.
“Feel it…” you insist. “...I’m wet just for you. 
“You fucking bitch.” Jimin curses, his hands reaching down to do just that. You’re so wet that he has no choice but to hate you further - how could he not want to shove his tongue in your core? How is he expected to not fuck you in the room?
“...So wet now. You want my cock this bad?”
Jimin’s fingers twirls on your clit, the warm skin gushing juices onto him. 
“You know I do.” you whine. You were genuinely begging now; this wasn’t an act anymore. “I thought you said you were going to make me your bitch tonight?”
“We have all night.” Jimin responds boldly, leaning away a bit to look at you.You were intended to come to his place - this was a silent invitation that you still could.
“Then fuck me now.” you say, head falling back a bit when Jimin’s fingers twirl onto your sensitive clit. “...f-fuck…then…you can fuck me again all night. Until you’re done with m…m-me.”
Jimin growls once more, swallowing thickly. This was too tempting. The chance to fuck you into submission the entire night is tempting - take years of anger he had with you out on one night sounded amazing.
“You bitch.” Jimin hisses, forcing his hands from your clit to tug at his jeans. He pulls them down, his bulge pulsing to be touched. “I’ll cum all over your skin tonight, huh? Show you just how much of a fucking whore you are for me.”
Licking your lips, you eye the bulge as he kicks his jeans lower around his knees. His dirty words are highly intoxicating and you find yourself wanting to be submissive for the man; just for one night, of course.
“I’ll cum inside you now,” Jimin groans, fingers digging into the bang of his boxers to push it down and allowing his cock to spring out. “and you’ll walk around with my cum in you all the way until tonight.”
You had to be at work later, you think, but right now it felt tempting. The way the mind works while under such desire and temptation is truly amazing.
“Okay.” you nod your head, pussy clenching around absolutely nothing and wishing it was Jimin’s cock.
Jimin’s cock was truly pretty, the tip flushed pink and angrily oozing pre-cum. You hate how it captivates you instantly, veins pulsing and it twitching for attention. 
Fuck you hated him even more now and the feeling was mutual.
Jimin grasps the length of his cock and inches closer to you, slapping the tip against your clit. You yelp when he begins to softly stroke it between your folds.
“I hate you.” Jimin groans, clouded eyes focusing on how well your pussy is coating the tip. “You have such a pretty pussy…fuck I hate you.” he groans with a shake of his head. It’s even prettier in person
You want to respond with the same statement. It wasn’t fair that Jimin’s cock was so pretty along with an attractive face, but you don’t have time to speak as he’s entering you.
Jimin groans, closing his eyes for a moment. So wet and tights; walls so warm wrapping around him greatly. He hated you with every fiber in him. A bitch like you shouldn’t have a pussy like this.
Your nails dig into his dark shirt, forcing him closer  - cock deepening inside of you. Your thighs quiver, mouth agape as you release a sharp moan from it. “...f-fuck…” you stutter.
Jimin connects your lips to his, releasing his cock just to plunge it right back inside of you. His left wraps itself around your waist while his right hand forces your thighs apart to keep you in place.
Jimin quickened his pace, tip scraping against your walls greedily, and you allowed it. He disconnects your lips to let out a hushed moan, forehead pressed against your own. He wants to be quiet, sure, but that meant he couldn’t fuck you the way he needed to and that wasn’t an option now.
“Shit…” Jimin grunts, nails digging into your thighs. “...fuck you feel so good. You’re such a bitch, Y/N, you don’t deserve to have a pussy this good.”
“Fuck you.” you hiss, clenching around his cock as he pounds it inside of you. It causes Jimin to gasp. You wrap both of your arms around his neck.
Jimin does, thrusts increasing as if to punish you. He lifts his head from touching your forehead to look right at your fucked out expression.
“Milking my cock like a whore. If this is what you wanted the entire time that’s all you had to say” Jimin grumbles, the room erupting in wet skin slapping against one another. He sure hopes no one comes down this hallway.
“You been wanting to fuck me, too.” you retort, head falling back to moan. He fucks you so deeply that your clit rubs against his pelvis each time - and each time did you whimper a little louder. “You’re the one fucking me like you love me.”
Jimin groans, now wrapping his right hand around your waist to keep you still as he continues to pound inside of you.
“I hate you.” Jimin spits, venom laced in his voice.
“I hate you, too.” you repeat, still pulling him closer while you continue to milk his cock. “I still want your cum in me.”
From the outside looking in - if people didn’t know you and Jimin were sworn enemies since the beginning of the school year - it did appear as if he felt some sort of compassion towards you. The way he refuses to let you go as he pounds inside of you, the way your arms wrap firmly around his neck. The little pecks of kisses here and there where you two would groan into one another’s mouth. The short breathy questions of “do you like it, baby?” Jimin would ask and the little, “yes, so much” you would respond with.
It truly didn’t appear like two enemies who hated the other’s soul would fuck so passionately. Yet, this sexual tension was years in the making. Jimin wouldn’t admit that he found you attractive prior to him subscribing to you just like you wouldn’t either.
“Play with yourself while I fuck you.” says Jimin, lips against yours. “Cum all over my cock like I know you’ve been desperate to do.”
“You never get tired of watching me play with myself.” you joke, but you didn’t protest the matter. You unhook your arms from Jimin’s neck and he allowed you to lay back a bit so you could. 
“Isn’t that what I pay you monthly for?” Jimin retorts smugly, his eyes watching as you place your fingers back onto your already sensitive clit. “Those gifts you get aren’t cheap.”
You know, you think. The lingerie set is the finest quality you’ve ever received - you wouldn’t tell him that, however.
“I know…” you sigh out, fingers twirling rapidly onto your clit. “Thank you.”
Knitting his brows, Jimin scoffs. That’s the first time he’s heard you thank him. 
Jimin decides to ignore you instead of telling you that he had more lingerie sets he thought would look nice on you. Then he’d sound like Jungkook - and he wasn’t a simp like him.
Your pussy was taking him far too well, Jimin grunts. There’s milky cream gushing onto his cock as he watches you, thrust turning sloppy. Your pussy clenches and unclenches around him while your thighs shake to be shut - something he wasn’t going to allow.
You’re cumming hard, your fluttering shut as your fingers lazily rub along onto your clit for added overstimulation. Your voice is a mere hushed whisper of “oh my god’s” and “fuck’s” that has Jimin going over the edge of how fucking whorish you look and sound; and the fact that it was him having you like this.
“Gonna cum in you…” Jimin groans, squeezing his eyes shut as he coats your womb entirely with his cum.
Your back hits the cold desk, chest heaving. Your body is entirely warm and the cool surface does nothing to lower your body temperature. You can feel the warm substance of his cum inside of you and you swallow.
Jimin’s head falls back as he attempts to catch his breath. He releases himself from you, assuring that you didn’t fall off the desk when he takes a step back
The high dies down and the two of you are quiet for the most part. Jimin pulls his pants back up and glances your way. 
“Are you okay?” Jimin brings himself to say, slightly through gritted teeth. You haven’t moved from the desk yet.
“Yes.” you respond meekly. 
Jimin scoffs. He picks up your discarded clothes from the ground and places them beside you. Jimin gives you a quick glance. “There’s…this cafe.” he grits once more, as if it was hurting him to speak with you. “That we can go to.”
“Good pussy got you asking me out on a date?” you ask, a teasing tone in your voice that has you giggling after you speak. You lift yourself into a seated position to look at the man.
“Fuck you.” Jimin hisses, a tint to his cheeks. “Good dick had you sprawled out on the desk.” he retorts. “It’s not a date, either.”
“Good, because,” you smile. “I hate you.”
“I hate you, too.” Jimin shrugs, a twitch upward of his own lips.
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Kinktober Masterlist | Ungodly Hour Masterlist
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astroboots · 1 year ago
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Every You Every Me | Issue #7
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COLLABORATED WITH @thirstworldproblemss
Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x female reader
Summary: You finally get some answers out of Miguel about who you are to him.
Word count: 5,700 words.
Series Masterlist | Spiderverse Masterlist | Astroboot’s Masterlist | thirstworldproblemss' Masterlist
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"So let's take it from the top," you tell him, as you sit down and put down the Trenta-sized caramel flavored hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and chocolate syrup in front of the man named Miguel O'Hara.
The two of you are sitting across from each other at a small booth at the nearest Starbucks you were able to find, seeing as you're homeless now, and there's nowhere else you could think of to go.
He's dressed in a large fitted hoodie that drapes down to his thighs. Where he's managed to find something that is oversized in length on him, you don't know because he's not exactly short.
"I'm from a dimension known as Earth-928," Miguel says.
Before he can continue, you raise one hand, and you can see his right eyebrow twitch unhappily at the interruption. 
"Yes?"
"Just to clarify, so we don't have another ‘coffee cake’ misunderstanding. When you say Earth-928, do you mean a different version of the Earth we’re on now? Or is this a habitable planet in another galaxy that happens to be partially named Earth?"
"It's a parallel universe characterized by distinct physical parameters and initial conditions, accounting for the diverse manifestations of our observable universe. So still Earth," he says, sweeping his gaze across the café, nose wrinkling the way one does when there's something off-putting in their vicinity. "Just a little bit less primitive."
Of course he would say that, wouldn't be able to resist the jab would he.
You peer up at him across the table. He is very technical and thorough with his explanations. But as grateful as you are for him finally being willing to answer your questions, you hadn't expected those answers to be quite so information dense. You need to pick your questions more carefully or you are going to have to go down the street to buy yourself a notebook in order to keep up.
"How did you end up on this Earth?" you ask.
"Where I'm from, I'm a scientist, a researcher. One of the things I studied was the theory of physical cosmology and the existence of the multiverse. My work was concentrated on the theoretical ability to navigate between distinct universes within a hypothetical multiverse–”
Ah shit, you should've been more narrow in your question. Should have asked him to simplify it a bit more for you. Because now you're sitting here blinking up at him, pretending you understand half of what he's saying. 
It makes sense that he’s STEM. He speaks like the type. Smart as hell with none of the social skills to gauge whether the other person is following the conversation. 
Listening to him reminds you of that time in college, when you'd walked into the wrong lecture hall, wound up in advanced chemistry instead of your math class, felt too awkward to leave and just sat there drawing doodles with an attentive expression until the class was over. 
And he’s still at it, “– employing advanced mechanisms that manipulate or transcend conventional spacetime frameworks, enabling exploration–"
"Okay, wait, hold on a sec," you interrupt, once it becomes obvious he’s not going to stop any time soon on his own. "Can you... simplify, please?"
He stops mid-sentence, taking a deep breath as he looks up at the ceiling and considers your request, with a serious expression as if he's thinking really hard on it. "I’m a scientist. I study the multiverse. I built a parallel universe traversal device, it allows me to visit different dimensions." Your brain feels insulted that it clearly took more mental effort for him to dumb it down for you than to just give the supergenius version.
“So… a machine that allows you to jump between alternative universes?” 
“Yes.” 
There’s a pause between you as you run through the questions in your mental list you want to tick off now that he’s turned cooperative and talkative. But with everything that’s happened in the last handful of hours, a lot of the questions you previously had seemed outdated. The one question, the most important one, you’ve wanted to ask from the start though remains. 
"Who am I to you?"
Miguel takes the large sized drink in his even larger hands and somehow this big paper cup still manages to look tiny in his grip. "You and I were... involved," he says.
You frown. ‘Involved’ is such a vague term. It belongs in the trash with other useless terms to describe relationships: “situationship”, “complicated”, you hate them all. 
"So I was your girlfriend?"
"Yeah, something like that," he concede, fidgeting with the thin gold chain looped around his neck, his eyes not quite meeting yours, like he's embarrassed to use the term.
‘Something like that,’ you chew on his answer unhappily, sympathizing with your other dimensional self and how the other you seemed to have snagged a commitment phobe. 
Other-you, who isn’t here in this dimension with Miguel. You wonder why that is. 
"What happened to me?" you ask.
His eyes are glued to the table,  not looking up at you as he answers you in a voice so quiet you can barely hear it. "She died."
"Oh."
The revelation shouldn’t take you by surprise. 
Every time Miguel’s brought up your other self, it’s been tinted with earth-shattering sadness. It's not hard to put one and one together and come to the conclusion that whatever happened to you in this other dimension didn't end happily.
Still it's an odd feeling to know that out there, somewhere, a version of you has died. A version of you that was clearly very important to the man in front of you.
"I'm sorry," you tell him.
It feels silly to say. It's bizarre to give your condolences over your own parallel death, but Miguel looks so heartbroken. He’s slumped in his seat, large shoulders rounded until his frame looks so much smaller than you're used to, and you don't know what else to do.
"So what is happening to me now," you start, not sure how to word what the phenomena that you're going through is, "these continuous near-death experiences, is that how she died?"
"Yeah."
"And do you know why that... kept happening to her? Why is it happening to me?"
"I don't, and I don't know how to stop it. Believe me I tried."
He cradles the paper cup in his hands, the grip a little bit tighter now until he's creasing the paper and the caramel liquid oozes and leaks from the top.
"What I do know is that the universe isn’t going to stop trying to kill you, no matter what you do. And with every near death incident you manage to survive, these incidents will escalate in nature, until..." he stops, eyes flickering away from the cup to meet yours, but it's like he loses courage and doesn't want to say the last part.
"Until, what?" you prompt.
"Until your dimension collapses."
The blood freezes in your veins. "Wait, collapses!? What do you mean?"
"I can't guarantee it will happen again. But that's what happened last time. When the other you kept cheating death, the universe eventually started to collapse in on itself."
You slump back in your chair, trying to process what you've just been told. What does that mean? That even if you managed to defy all odds to survive, doing so would doom the rest of this universe as you know it?
"When will that happen?" you ask, and you're surprised you manage to get the words out because there is a hard lump in your throat that makes it hurt to even swallow.
"Judging from the trajectory and escalation of events, you have about three months give or take."
The two of you sit in heavy silence, for the moment you're not sure what else to ask him. Because it feels like you are trapped in a building looking for an exit sign, but all that’s tacked onto the brick wall is your death certificate, waiting to be signed and formalized.
There’s no way out. Nowhere to go.
"Give me your hand," he says, breaking the silence. 
You give it to him without hesitation, watching, puzzled, as he takes off his watch and secures it around your wrists.
"Why are you giving me your watch?"
"It's not a watch," he says, then he presses something on the face of it, and an image of a young woman flickers into existence in the space above your wrist, vaguely see-through. A hologram!
"This is Lyla," he introduces.
Wait, wait? Lyla? As in your mom Lyla? You watch the tiny woman floating above your wrist. Short bob-cut, and flashy heart-shaped sunglasses, with a twinkle in her eye. 
The hologram looks nothing like your mom. You part your mouth, about to ask about the name but you're interrupted by the energetic buzz of a female voice greeting you.
"Boss-girl! Long time no see. Want me to catch you up on the latest multiversal gossip? I compiled an edit of highlights set to Despacito."
"Lyla," Miguel warns, tersely. "Not now."
"Ruuuuude! You're the one who woke me up you know."
"Lyla, go back to sleep."
The female avatar grumbles, but then her image flickers away and the watch turns back into, as far as you can tell, just an ordinary watch.
"Why did you name the watch Lyla?"
"It's not a– " He cuts himself off, sighing with exasperation. "Lyla is an advanced A.I. she's going to be with you at all times. She's an added layer of security, built to protect you."
He didn't answer your question. Completely sidestepped it as if the two of you are having two different conversations.
Built to protect you, he'd said. Does that mean he still intends to do that?
"So you're not going to leave?" you ask him.
He leans back in his seat, eyes drifting towards the table. "No."
You look up at him, stumped. Not sure you're understanding what he's saying. Because not even a few hours ago, when the two of you were in your apartment, this man was adamant there was nothing to be done to save you. That he was going to leave and you were never going to see him again.
Right now though, his actions seem to be contradictory to that. You can't make heads or tails of him. Hot and cold doesn’t even begin to cover it. 
"Why not?" you ask, "I mean, not that I’m not grateful, but you seemed pretty set on the whole ‘I can’t save you’ thing. What changed your mind?"
“You did.” His eyes narrow as he looks down at you, crossing his arms ever his chest, "You told me you wanted to live. Have you changed your mind already?"
“Wha– NO! I just want to know why you changed yours.”
“I–” He hesitates, another wave of sadness passing over his face. “I’m a superhero. I save people… or try to. It’s what I do. I’m not gonna just leave you to die after you tell me you want to live.”
It’s a good answer, even if you don’t buy that it’s the whole truth. 
You look down at your wrist, and the shiny chrome of the not-watch he's just gifted you winks back up at you. "Do you think I have a chance of surviving all this?"
"It's pretty hopeless," he says, and there’s no break in his expression as he continues. "Your chances of making it out alive are pretty much mathematically impossible."
It's odd though. Even though he's outlining the futility of your situation, basically telling you to raise the white flag and surrender, there's something contradictory in the tone of his voice. 
"What do you want to do?" he asks you.
It’s a challenge, you realize. An encouragement. He has faith in you. It's all of these things rolled into one. As if he's telling you to prove the universe wrong.
"I want to live," you answer. "If the universe collapses in three months, then please stay with me. Give me time to solve this and find a way to stay alive."
His mouth curls into a hint of a smile. The very first you've seen from him since you've met. It's bright and boyish, erasing the harsh lines of his stern expression until it gives way for something much softer underneath that makes your heart leap in your chest with triumph.
You grin, a strange elation of happiness buzzing in you as you stretch out your hand to him, in an invitation for a handshake to seal the deal.
"Deal?"
Miguel leans over the table, clasping your hand in his much larger one as he squeezes it back gently.
"Deal." That small smile from before is still there. "So what's next?" he asks.
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The thing you never realized, being an ordinary person bereft of super genes or other superhuman powers is just how convenient commuting can be if you have them. 
No longer do you have to brave the Lynchian nightmare that is the NYC subway system. Half-naked manic street preachers giving sermons as you’re held hostage, with nowhere else to go in the carriage. Being chased down by a drunk trumpeting Mariachi band. Instead, all you need to do to get from point A to point B (A: being the Chrysler building and B: the building formerly known as your home) is to hold on tight to Miguel as he swings you both above the city gridlock.
You imagine that this is what paragliding must feel like, except it's so much better because here you don't have to do the safety training beforehand or pay $3,000 for the privilege.
The city skyline is a dark evening blue, dotted with the sparkling lights of office buildings, cab roof lights and street lamps, as the wind ruffles through the fabric of your clothes.
It's such a different sight when you're flying above instead of walking on the streets below, that you don't even clock that you're in your neighborhood, until you see a building with a collapsed wall that's been blocked off, looking like a crash site. Only then do you realize... you're home.
Miguel carefully sets you down on your feet on a small patch of concrete that is clear of the rubble and destruction.
"Why did you want to come back here again?" he asks. 
It’s a good question. Now that you're here, standing in the middle of charred debris and cracked bricks, you're not sure either. You had some vague plans of seeing what you could salvage, hoping for some clothes, maybe your electric toothbrush, or really just any of your stuff. Something that’s yours, no matter how small, to hold on to after the events of today have ripped away life as you know it.
But there’s nothing left. The furniture, all your books and knick knacks, and even your dirty laundry piles have been demolished. Your home as you know it is gone. There's only piles and piles of rubble and traces of white fire extinguisher foam on the ground. The fire has been out for hours, but the pungent smell of smoke and sulfur still pervades the air. 
"You okay?" Miguel asks.
He's still standing at the outer edges of the apartment, close to where your window would have been if a helicopter hadn't crashed through it.
"Yeah... I guess the silver lining is that I didn't have anything expensive. Though it'd been nice if I could've saved my mom's Le Creuset set or at least the nanny-cam so I could return it and get a refund," you joke glibly. 
You nudge aside some concrete rubble with the cap of your shoes. There's nothing under there, no treasured memorabilia that's still miraculously intact. Just more burnt concrete and rubble.
"Why did you have a nanny cam?"
You turn around at his question, to see him hovering close to you, one eyebrow raised with an unhappy set to his jaw. 
From the displeased expression on his face, he's probably misunderstanding something here. Probably thinks you're operating a very unlucrative Onlyfans business, when what you've really been doing is spy on him and his nightly visits. You don't know which is worse to confess to, so you don't confess to anything.
"No reason," you say, ignoring the way his already raised eyebrow twitches with irritation at your lack of an answer.
"Come on, let's go," he says, and he waves towards you in a come hither motion like he's commanding a dog.
"Go?" you ask him. "It's past midnight. My place, as you can see, is wrecked. Go where exactly?"
Miguel shoots you a strange look. "A hotel," he says, like it's the most obvious thing, and– okay, he's not completely wrong in that assumption.
Problem is, you didn't have time to pick up your wallet or phone before your impromptu interdimensional visit. They’ve been incinerated along with all the rest of your worldly possessions, which means you don't have any way to pay for a hotel.
Plus Manhattan hotel prices average $400 a night. Even if you still had access to your debit cards, your budget’s pretty tight right now after all the capital you invested in your unhinged quest to trap the superhero before you. 
"In the city? I don't have that kind of money and it will take months for any insurance payouts to come in."
You should know. As an insurance claims adjuster, you know you’ll be lucky if your claim is processed before the end of the year. And, ugh, just the thought of the paperwork you’ll have to fill out is enough to give you an anxiety migraine.
"I’ll cover the room," Miguel says casually before holding out a hand to you, "Come on, let’s go."
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When Miguel said he’d cover it, you expected a reasonably-priced room at one of the Days Inn across the river or the like. Hopefully a place with no rats or bed bugs, and maybe clean bedding over a somewhat comfortable mattress for you to pass out on if you were lucky.
You didn't expect this.
Standing in front of the Midtown Four Seasons, you find yourself on sleek marble so polished you can see your own reflection. You haven't even stepped a foot inside yet and there are two old fashioned doormen, wearing immaculately fitted suits, with an even more impressive posture opening the majestic double-set doors for you as you approach.
It's swanky as hell, and you can’t help gawking like a tourist, eyes glued to the decadent carved ceilings that must be at least 30 feet tall, soaring above you. Honey-colored limestone that looks like it’s been looted from Ancient Rome.
You feel more than a little bit out of place. This is way outside of your budget. You could probably work your job for a lifetime, and not have enough disposable income to stay the night at a place like this.
"Uhm, Miguel... this place is way too–" you start, turning towards him.
But as you were busy lamenting the state of the housing market, he's already walked away from you (for such a bulky guy, he moves swiftly and silently) and as you whip your head around to find him, he's already standing in front of the receptionist.
Damned antelope legged man, would it kill him to wait up for you once in a while? You run up after him and have to tip-toe in order to see over his shoulder because the giant mammoth is blocking the check-in counter.
And wow, even the receptionist here is of a different caliber than the ones you'd find at Holiday Inn. A fashionable bob-cut with razor sharp edges, looking like a model cut out from a Vogue cover.
"Do you have a reservation, Sir?"
You half-expect him to say no, and that the two of you would have to tuck your tail between your legs and walk out of here to the backdrop of a sad trombone playing.
To your astonishment he says your name. The receptionist tip-taps away at her keyboard and then she nods and smiles gracefully at you both. 
"Yes of course. After reviewing your reservation details, I am pleased to inform you that all necessary arrangements have already been made, including advance payment and verification of your identification. Your room is ready for you, we trust you will enjoy your stay."
She flashes you a pearly white smile so shiny it's almost blinding and hands you a hotel key card. 
When you turn around, to your confusion Miguel is no longer next to you. How does he keep disappearing like this? 
"Cielito," Miguel’s voice calls. The nickname doesn’t register at first. It doesn't even occur to you that he’s referring to you, until he barks it out a second time. 
Your head darts up to see him standing by the elevator, tapping his feet impatiently as he waits for you to make it over to him.
"How did you do that?" you whisper loudly to him as you step into the elevator. "Where did you get my ID? How did you make a reservation? How did you--"
He takes your hand, mid-sentence, turning your wrist upwards and taps the watch.
"The computer systems in this universe are child's play for Lyla to manipulate. Reservations, money, ID, she can take care of all of that easily," he explains.
"She can do that?" you ask, and Miguel merely nods at you as the elevator closes behind the two of you.
You tip your head down to inspect your gifted watch. In awe of this technical marvel that would make Siri look like it’s from the stone-ages. You wonder if she can boost your credit scores. She could probably hack any wi-fi password so you'd never have to worry about data throttling again. She could get you table reservations for Libertine! The possibilities are endless!
You turn to Miguel. "Can Lyla get me Beyoncé tickets?" you ask. 
He just shakes his head at you with what almost qualifies as an amused smile.
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The room upstairs is massive. 
It’s easily three times the size of your little studio apartment, and the ceilings are twice as tall, with a hanging glass chandelier that’s sparkling bright enough to blind you. It looks like one of those places featured in Architectural Digest. 
Everything is in an art deco style, with expensive looking furniture and even more expensive art hanging on the one spare wall that isn’t covered in floor to ceiling windows. There are large shelves and a sleek looking kitchen, complete with an opulent looking velvet lounge chair of emerald green that looks like something a Roman emperor would be fed grapes on. 
In this colossal space of a room, there is only one bed. One colossal, plush-mattress-topped, goose down duvet and probably 1,000,000,000 thread count sheet covered bed.
You tense up, not sure what the arrangements Miguel had in mind. Did he want the two of you to sleep in the same bed?
Miguel did pay for the room, so you’re not going to start voicing objections. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time in the short time span that you two have known each other to do that. This bed is also a lot wider than your tiny double bed, so it wouldn’t be the cramped disaster it was last night. You’d just have to make sure to use the bathroom before bed this time so he doesn’t jab your full bladder in the morning again. 
Without saying anything, Miguel strides across the length of the room with impatient and determined steps. His hand reaches for the balcony doors and slides them open. 
"Wait wait, where are you going?" you ask him as you run up to the middle of the room. 
“I’m sleeping outside,” he says over his shoulder, and your mind boggles with that. 
“Why? Isn’t it better for you to stay here?”
"This is the 62nd floor. That’s about as safe as you’re going to get. I’ll keep a lookout to make sure no more helicopters come crashing in.” 
You’re not sure if he means the last part as a joke or not, but as you watch his broad back retreating as he walks away from you, a sickening sort of the deja vu twists through your chest. 
I can’t save you, he’d said back in your apartment, Nothing can. 
The feeling clawing at your chest feels alarmingly like panic. It screams that he’s leaving you. That he’s never coming back. That you’ll never see him again. 
You’re being irrational, and you know it. You remind yourself that he wouldn’t have done this much for you only to bail in the middle of the night, but that doesn’t stop the fear that’s festering, sharp and urgent, under your skin, or the way your heart races, your whole body flashing hot and cold at the same time. 
You want him to stay. 
“Miguel,” you call out, and he immediately stops and turns to look back at you, one eyebrow raised in a skeptical question. 
Please stay. 
You open your mouth, but the words won’t come out. You can’t ask this man—this big, sarcastic, rude hulk of a man—to have a sleepover with you because you’re scared to be alone in the dark. He would laugh you out of the hotel room.
“Uhm… thank you,” you say instead, but it’s no less sincere, “For everything.”
His eyes soften, the sharp narrowness of them easing up. “It’s fine,” he mumbles, and despite the cold chill of the evening, you think you can see a faint flush blooming in his cheeks, before he quickly ducks his face from you. “I’ll be right outside if something happens.” 
He turns back around and walks out, closing the patio doors with a gentle click behind him, leaving you by yourself. 
It’s quiet. 
You survey the empty room you’re in. Without Miguel’s large frame taking up space, it seems even bigger than it did before. 
It’s a beautiful room. Something that you’re pretty sure you’ve seen in a movie set. You don’t know why you’re not as excited as you were before. This is you living your Pretty Woman moment. You should be filling up the big jacuzzi tub you saw with bubbles. Heck, maybe ask Lyla to order you a bottle of champagne from room service. 
Instead, your eyes linger on the glass patio doors leading to the balcony terrace. You walk over to the bed, perching yourself down on the edge of the mattress, then flop down. 
Might as well try to sleep, you think to yourself as you climb under the covers and switch off the light. The best thing you can do right now is catch yourself some rest so you’ll be alert while trying to figure out your next steps tomorrow.
3 months… That’s what Miguel told you.
That’s all the time you have left. 
That means you don’t have time to waste, but you also have no idea where to start. The local library doesn’t exactly carry any resources on how to stop the universe from trying to kill you. 
The Universe. 
An infinite cosmos, grander than any human being can possibly comprehend. This vast space containing all the galaxies with its billions of stars and planets, where an individual being does not even register as a speck, and it wants you dead. How can you possibly fight against those odds? 
You lie wide-eyed and awake staring into the dark of the room, and the feeling of dread gnaws into you. 
You don’t want to be alone right now. Turning in the bed, your eyes find their way back to the blank slate of the pitched night outside the balcony doors. 
You really wished he had stayed with you. 
Sitting upright in the bed, you consider your options. You can lie back down. Suffer insomnia and the existential horror of knowing the universe is trying to murder you. Or you can man up, swallow down whatever tiny morsel of your pride you have left and ask Miguel to come back inside and stay with you. 
Flinging the duvet from your body, you get up to walk over to the balcony. You hesitate for a moment before tapping the window pane the way you might knock on a door, giving a polite head's up before you slide the balcony patio open. But when you poke your head out, turning your head left and right, Miguel's nowhere to be found. 
Okay, that’s weird. He said he’d be right outside if you needed him. You walk up to the ledge of the balcony terrace, leaning over the rail and peer down to see him dangling upside down, from the ledge of your balcony. The sight nearly makes you scream. 
"Miguel!” 
At you calling his name, he pulls himself up, one clawed hand gripping at the concrete wall as he climbs his way up and over to you. He makes it look easy, as if gravity does not exist for him, and it’s only a moment until he’s perched on the ledge of the balcony, facing you. 
“What’s wrong?” he demands, eyes concerned, and you’re suddenly aware of how very close he is. His face mere inches from yours, your noses nearly touching.
“What’s wrong? You’re hanging upside down from the 62nd floor! What are you, a bat?!"
“Why did you come out here?” he clarifies, and his words give you pause. You try to gather your thoughts after the bizarre sight you just walked into and remember what you came out here for. 
He’s still looking at you with his full and intense concentration that makes your skin prickle with warmth.
God, it’s embarrassing to ask. You feel like you’re five years old, asking your parents to turn the nightlight on, even though you know you’re a big girl now and aren’t supposed to be afraid of monsters hiding under your bed any more. 
You look down on your hands, where you’re wringing them together, then back up at him, and make yourself spit it out, "Could you… maybe… stay with me tonight?" 
His eyes widen at your question, but he doesn’t actually answer you and gives you no physical indication one way or the other. 
"I feel safer when you're with me,” you admit. 
“I am with you out here,” he counters, because of course he can’t make this easy for you.  
“I can’t see you out here.”
The line of his shoulder eases, and he ducks his head down with a resigned sigh. "Fine. Get back inside, Cielito. You're going to catch a cold like this."
You shuffle back inside to your bed, watching out of the corner of your eye as  he follows you inside and settles himself on the lounge sofa. He’s so tall that his feet are sticking out over the armrests, like a long-legged stork. 
Hiding a smile, you climb back into bed, wrapping the bedding all around yourself.
“Good night,” you call out, and he makes a grumpy noise of acknowledgment. 
Your head drops back onto the soft pillow, and you close your eyes, ready to sleep. It’s such a nice bed. The sheets are cool and soft against your skin and smell of fresh eucalyptus. The mattress is the most comfortable you ever remember resting on, firm but somehow soft at the same time. You feel like you’re sleeping on a cloud. 
Moments go by, and you revel in the sumptuous bed, waiting for the best sleep of your life to claim you. 
Except it doesn’t. 
Somehow… you still can’t fall asleep. Is it… too soft maybe? You turn in the bed, twisting your torso to get into a position you can comfortably sink into, but something doesn’t feel right. There’s no lumpiness like at home, but that should be a good thing. 
Except… despite the decadent softness of the bed. Despite the fact that the sheets probably have a thread count with more zeros than your checking and savings accounts combined. Despite all of the luxury that surrounds you, you still find yourself tossing and turning and wide fucking awake.
The bed is too big. You don’t know what to do with all this space. Your body is not accustomed to this sort of decadence. What if you suffocate sinking into this soft fluffy pillow in your sleep? What if you toss and turn until you fall off this massive bed and break your neck? Maybe that’s how out of all of the universe’s attempts to kill you, you end up dying? 
Fuck! 
You can’t sleep. 
You turn to your side and stare into the velvet lounge chaise on the opposite side of your room, where Miguel is. 
Quietly, you pad up to his still form until you’re standing in front of him and hunch over, trying to decide how rude it would be to wake him up again when there's nothing he can do about your stupid insomnia anyway.
In the dim light, you spot something glinting at you. Looking closer, you notice that the thin chain looped around his neck has escaped his shirt to pool on the fabric of the sofa cushion under him. You gently drag the loose end of the necklace toward you, and find a smooth golden band threaded onto it.
Picking it up cautiously, you flip it in your hand and find that there's something engraved on the inside.  It's hard to see in the darkness, but when you lean closer and squint your eyes, you can just make out what it says.
'MO'—undeniably the initials of one Miguel O'Hara.
Twisting the ring slightly, you find a tiny plus sign followed by your own initials, and your heart drops into the pit of your stomach.
Oh.
The memory of sitting across Miguel at Starbucks returns to you, when you had asked him who you were to him. You think of the avoidant gaze and how he couldn't look you in the eye.
‘Something like that,’ huh?
Guess the other you wasn't just his girlfriend after all, you think, chest drawn so tight it’s painful.
Holding the wedding band in the palm of your hand, you slide down to sit down on the floor with your back pressed against the chaise lounge.
Your heart aches for the man in front of you and everything he's lost.  You really, really hope you're not going to end up as just another regret on his list.
~ Next Issue
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Dedication & Credits: As always to my best friend @thirstworldproblemss I am half asleep and running on fumes. I'm wording things poorly but I just want you to know that I am very happy I have you. Thank you for being my friend and for the time we get to spend together. I have the most fun when I'm with you.
Also to @guruan who is my muse, my source of inspiration. This chapter is dedicated to her because have you seen this beautiful piece of artwork she did for EYEM?!
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hotheadedhero · 5 months ago
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i am absolutely in love with your writing style and i see requests are open hehehehe
perhaps a rise!donnie with a gn reader that is “high intelligence low wisdom”? like, theyre smart and all and can understand a lot of his work, but they next moment they do something absolutely idiotic?
anyway thanks for considering <3
AN: If I've got the right idea then oh, ohoho, I think I can do this. Kinda describes me as a person 😅 And thank you!! I'm glad you enjoy the spoils of my crazy brain <3
A Dichotomy in Donnie's Dearest
Donatello x Reader
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Donatello has a field day with you. Finding another entity as smart as him is unfounded but you're an enigma altogether. You're not necessarily the next Einstein, but your ability to fathom even half of the stuff that comes out of his mouth is impressive. Some nights, you'll both have conversations about biomechanics, nuclear chemistry, or anything that weasels its way into the mix. It isn't uncommon for you two to stay up until the break of dawn when you get caught up in such exchanges. In fact, your propensity for science drew him towards you in the first place. You make quite a pair, like how a covalent bond is a formation of electrons shared between two atoms.
Although, he supposes that if that is the attractive force in this analogy, your disposition for thick-witted conduct is the repulsive force. The difference between your divine intellect and your misshapen ability to function in society is an astounding, if not worrying prospect. It's as though you completely forgot yourself and he can only speculate how.
Initially, he chalked it up to a faulty memory: forgetting to switch the socket on when you plug your laptop in, not realising your phone is in your hand whilst it's 'lost', completely losing your train of thought mid-conversation. Standard, everyday predicaments that aren't unfounded amongst the greater world.
That assumption was quickly abandoned when he took closer note of some things that come out of your mouth - certain "theories" of yours that he hopes are funny thoughts and nothing more.
"Do you reckon tissues get their name from the fact that when we sneeze, we say, a-tissue?" you ask him.
You can't be serious, surely. Perhaps it was merely a bad attempt at a pun. If so, he'll have to limit your spending time with his oh-so-dear brother, Leonardo. It's bad enough having one person galivanting around thinking they're funny, let alone two.
He can't even begin to form a base for what you've just asked him, and instead replies so, "Life is too short for me to answer such questions."
It doesn't end there. He wishes he could say it does but it doesn't.
"I just figured out why a peanut is called a peanut!" The unparalleled excitement in your voice is enough to shock him out of his mortal body but the content source of your jovial commotion is mind-boggling and not in a good way. When he does nothing other than stare, you continue, "They're like peas in a pod but the nut version!"
"A dazzling deduction, my love," he remarks tiredly, wondering how you're the same person he discusses string theory with. "The limits of your knowledge truly know no bounds."
He's just glad Aristotle isn't around to see this side of humanity. It isn't limited to what you say, either. Worst of all, it's the things you do. Such as, when you try to eat something despite the fact it's just come out of the oven. Bonus 'dumb-dumb' points if you try to take food out of the oven without gloves. To put it simply, he doesn't trust you in the kitchen - a caution further validated when you rubbed your eyes after cutting jalapeno peppers once. You have been effectively banned.
He's lost count of how many times you've elbowed your own hip whilst rolling over in bed, or the many instances you've attempted to pull a push door and vice versa. That isn't even taking into account the countless times you have visited the lair without waterproof clothing, despite how long you've been coming down. Let's just say that the already long list is seemingly never-ending.
His frequent sighs of annoyance never offend you. If anything, it makes you laugh that much more when he appears physically pained by your antics. It's as though you enjoy his suffering. From your perspective, there's no harm in the odd hiccup here and there. You're merely enjoying life for what it is and know when to have a giggle at yourself.
Donnie believes himself to be a prodigy and he is! He can solve most if not all conundrums thrust his way but you - you - are the one he can't figure out. Yet, no matter how many times you engage in these idiotic behaviours, he still loves you. Besides, thinking any less of you would be a stupefying case of hypocrisy if he weren't to acknowledge his own blunders. Granted, his mistakes are often in the name of science but you are truly a match made in imbecilically astute Elysium.
AN: Btw, the things about the tissues, peanuts, and elbowing hips? Real stuff from me. Idk how I function
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imtryingbuck · 1 year ago
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No Better Than My Husband
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~ gif not mine credit goes to owner ~
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader
Summary: Readers husband is having affairs, so reader does the same
Word count: 1,513
Warnings: Angst and Fluff, swearing? Cheating, Sharon being a bitch. Terrible writing as always.
Masterlist
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Y/n’s husband really thought he was being smart about his indiscretions, not that his affairs shocked her, but he truly believed she was some dumb naive housewife due to believing this, he started getting sloppy. At first it pained knowing her husband was entertaining another woman whilst she was at home alone, being nothing but faithful and devoted to him. When his first mistress found out that she wasn’t the only side piece he had she had messaged Y/n all the pictures, videos and messages between the pair, it was meant to hurt her but she already knew her husband was seeing other women behind her back.
The thought had crossed her mind at first to confront him but she knew better, she knew no matter how many tears she showed him he wasn’t going to change. She watched her mum do the exact same thing with Y/n’s dad, he promised her he’d stop and it wasn’t until his untimely death that she had found out that not only was he still seeing the other woman but was engaged to her and the cherry on top was that he had borne a 8 year old son.
So no she wasn’t going to confront him, leaving him to truly believe that his beautiful naive wife didn’t know that when he said he was having a business meeting it was actually him fucking another woman.
However what he didn’t know was that whilst he was having these “business meetings” she was in the arms of another man.
The first time she slept with Bucky she ran to the bathroom to puke up, she felt disgusted, she felt like she was the worst of the worst. The second time she slept with Bucky the guilt was still there but not as strong as before. Now after every time of meeting up with him she didn’t care, she loved the attention he showered her with but most of all she craved just being touched and not necessarily in a sexual manner.
Bucky thought she was truly the most beautiful woman to ever exist, he found out she was married after he gained the confidence to talk to her. The shock and anger he felt was showed on his face when she spoke about her husband’s affairs. Trying to get his head around the idea of how man could have someone like Y/n as a wife just to cheat on her truly baffled him.
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Now Bucky lays there trying to catch his breath after spending nearly two hours of happily pleasuring over and over again the goddess that he has the upmost respect for. He knew he was in deep with her, he knew that it wasn’t just sex for him and he hoped that it was the same for her.
Keeping a soft gaze at her ever so slightly trembling form he broke the silence “So I was thinking, don’t give me that look missy, I was thinking about introducing you to my friends? They’ve heard everything about you and they want to meet you but only if your comfortable with that”
“I don’t know Buck, you told me they know I’m married and they probably think the worst of me”
“No baby they don’t, I told them about him and how he’s cheating on you none of them judge you for doing the same”
Shakily sighing “okay but only if your really sure about this”
“Never been more sure beautiful”
They share a kiss which quickly grew more intense. Bucky was more than happy to continue showing her affection and love.
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The day had arrived to meet her lovers friends and to say she was nervous was an understatement the thought of them judging her scared her, she knew she wasn’t a bad person she did anything for anyone. Never in a million years did she think that the man who took a vow to love and be faithful to her would break said vow, but here she was five years into marriage her husband betraying her with four women - that she knows of - she was tired of being mocked and treated like a fool so she decided to return the favour. However now she was in too deep, she had fallen in love with Bucky. So she truly hoped his friends didn’t judge her too much.
Bucky had agreed to meet her outside the cafe that was close by the tower, they shared a kiss and made their way to where his friends were. The whole time Bucky was reassuring Y/n that it was going to be okay.
Standing in front of the Avengers was intimidating but when they greeted her happily the nerves that was settled throughout her body melted away. Conversations flowed effortlessly laughs were shared, that was until Sharon spoke up from where she was sat. “So Y/n Bucky says you’re married? At first I was shocked that he could sleep with a married woman but now meeting you I understand”
Y/n felt uncomfortable under Sharons intense gaze, she definitely didn’t like her tone. After shifting to try and get comfortable she finally found her voice “My husband has been cheating on me for a long time, I never intended to do the same but I met Bucky one night and one thing led to another and well now I’m here” ending her sentence with a shy chuckle. Bucky took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles in a comforting gesture.
“Don’t you feel slightly ashamed of yourself? Because you should”
Not knowing how to reply she just looked down at her clasped hands, of course she felt ashamed of herself, of course she hates herself for being no better than her husband. It was one moment of weakness that if she had to do it all over again, she would. She would do it all over again without a second thought and that, that is what she hated about herself.
The room had fallen into an uncomfortable silence, everyone was pretty annoyed with Sharon for spoiling such a happy time. The looks that were shot at Sharon made Y/n feel like she had done something wrong. She never wanted to cause any problems with the group of friends. A few beats passed when Y/n glanced at her watch then bent down to get her bag and coat that was at her feet, her movements caused Bucky to jump up. “You don’t have to go” 
“I do, I need to get home” turning to the group “it was an absolute pleasure meeting you all, thank you for a great time, bye” Not listening to the protest coming from Bucky and his friends, she walked out the room to the elevators. Bucky had ran inside just before the doors had closed.
“Baby ignore Sharon, she’s just being rude for no reason. I’m sorry” 
“It’s fine Buck. Honestly. I need to let you know now that I’ve finally filed for divorce. I’ve already packed my stuff and moved into an apartment. He’s on a “Business” trip ah. I really feel hard for you Buck, I’m sorry” The shiny doors came open and she all but ran out before Bucky could reply.
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Four months had pasted since Y/ns confession in the confined space of the elevator, four months without speak or seeing the super soldier. The messages and phone calls that came from Bucky and her now ex-husband had gone off none stop. The messages from her ex started off with him apologising and begging her to come back, he’ll change. Which turned to him taunting her, blaming her for his actions. When it came to their divorce to be finalised he had showed up with mistress number 4 hanging off his arm, he thought this move would hurt her but all it did was make the judge give her way more money than she originally asked for.
Bucky’s messages consisted of apologies too, along with pleading her to meet him. But was also filled with him telling her he loved her.
One Sunday the rain was pouring down heavily in the late afternoon when a knock on the door startled Y/n, trying to calm her racing heart she made her way to the sound. Opening her door her heart stopped.
“W-what are you doing here Buck? How did you find me?”
“Nat”
“Okay? Still didn’t answer the first question”
Instead of answering her Bucky walked straight up to her, touching her face with freezing and delicate hands he searched her eyes for any reason to pull away. Finding none he moved closer and closer till his cold plumb lips touched hers. Kissing one another always took their breaths away, no matter how many times they’ve done it. Reluctantly pulling away he rested his forehead on hers and smiled.
“Be mine and I’ll be yours” Bucky’s heart was hammering rather hard inside of his chest awaiting her response, and instead of verbally responding she pulled him into the apartment letting him kick the door behind them.
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~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~
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aychama · 18 days ago
Note
L: I told you to leave me alone
R: I know Sir, but I'm your advisor and I (unfortunately) have to supervise you too.
Raymond sighed as he read the papers in his hands while following Leshy.
L: Do you think I need your supervision? I was doing just fine before you arrived. I'll continue to do so. Leave
R: I can't. We still need to go over a lot of things, we're far behind schedule to discuss real matters which is urgent, I need you to sign the agreement of imported goods from Anchor Deep and the people in the neglected villages are revo-
L: Fine! How many!?
R: Pardon?
L: How many papers, Raymond?
Leshy turned to him with a momentarily anger. To him, Raymond was simply, yapping.
R: Uh, about... 1, 2, 3...
He began counting, sounds of the paper coming to Leshy's ear.
R: 86 papers, sir.
L: Well good luck to you with that. Just copy my signature.
R: Wait, me? Sir I can't just decide on the matters of the whole kingdom!
L: Aren't you my "advisor"? That's your thing, to decide.
R: Yes, I give advice! I don't rule over a kingdom!
L: Too bad so damn sad, I don't feel like listening you talk about dumb problems I won't be paying attention to anyway.
Leshy chuckled a bit and walked towards his work room. Raymond followed right behind, a bit panicked by the king's nonchalant decision. Leshy closed the door behind him, Raymond nearly making it inside.
R: You can't just ignore it! I promise it won't take long... Don't you care about your people? They are suffering! They are doing their best but barely surviving with what you let them have! Not only that, you've added taxes when I was gone!
L: My people are doing fine. You're worrying too much for something so lame, Ray. If I'm really that shitty of a king, go on. Fill my "so important" papers. And I thought you were smart enough to think that.
Raymond rubbed his temples after setting the papers aside. He took a deep breath. Leshy just sat one of the comfortable chairs and leaned back.
R: (God, I prefer hell over trying to convince this man child to do anything) It won't be long before everything breaks down to chaos if you continue to neglect your duties, sir.
L: ...
R: Maybe the other crowns were right about you after all...
Leshy immediately got up and turned towards Raymond.
L: What did those old bastards say about me?
R: Just the usual sir.
He smiled. Good thing Leshy was, well, blind.
R: That you were too young and naive to understand how a kingdom works. The red crown even said he was surprised that you haven't got hunted by your people.
L: That... Grim faced cat! You know what!? I rule my kingdom just fine! I'm the best king out there! They wish they were me! I can rule their kingdoms along with mine if I wanted!
R: Yes sir. You could...
L: Read me the damn papers Raymond! I'm gonna finish these papers faster than any of those living corpses!
R: (Works every time)
___________________________
It was night time when they were able to finish all those papers. Raymond had lit a candle long time ago to read better and Leshy seemed to listen.
R: This is the last paper... It's, it's over
L: Finally, for fuck's sake...
The worm yawned and leaned back. Raymond put the papers in order and set aside, before leaning back like his King.
R: Sir your profanity.
L: Ray I'm too tired to care.
R: You're right... I should be too tired to ask.
L: What's the time?
R: The moon is up by a hand. It's too late.
L: You don't say.
The advisor yawned and drank a glass of water. The King on the other hand rubbed where his eyes should be. It was rare but, sometimes, his eyes would bleed again, his wounds so easy to tear open. The cat panicked at the sight, immediately his tiredness vanishing by worry that overtook.
R: You're bleeding!
L: Don't-
Leshy hissed at him when Raymond tried to touch his face so he backed away. Raymond looked at the blood with sadness for his King.
R: Does it... Does it still hurt? Does it hurt bad?
He asked with a shakey voice as he reached for Leshy's face again. Surprisingly, the short tempered king didn't pull back the second time. He leaned to the touch, to the feeling. Raymond's palm got bloodied as he wiped it.
L:Not anymore. Not like the way it used to...
R: It's good... I think. Is it just pitch black..?
L: People assume so. But no. My vision is my thoughts. I can see just, not in the way you'd expect
R: How so? How can you just- See?
The King chuckled at the advisor's weirded out question.
L: I already know what something looks like. I know colors, I know shapes, I know sounds, the materials, the feelings. And, if you know it like I do, it feels like your whole imagination is your sight.
R: That's... Not as bad as I thought
L: You think about going blind?
R: No, heh, of course not... I think about, how hard it must be for you.
L: You think about me? Now that just makes me shy~
R: My King-
Raymond gave a tired and short giggle as he blushed. Even though he hated his job, he didn't hate the worm necessarily.
L: What? Can I not be curious about why you think about me Ray?
R: With all due respect, that's not the point, sir. I work for you, it's natural that I worry for the one I'm working so close with.
L: And somehow I'm someone you must worry for? The levels you bring me down to.
R: You make it sound like everything is just fine! Is there really nothing bad about being blind?
L: There are bad sides of it of course
R: Like what?
Leshy smiled, putting his hands on top of Raymond's.
L: Knowing I'll never actually see you
AU8WUW8UQOAPAAJUDJDAAAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HELLO???? THIS IS SO GOOD?!?!?!?!?! How dare you send me this awsome gift as an anon 😭😭😭 Thank you so much omg I didnt think such a simple drawing would inspire someone to write something like this!
THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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joehawke · 1 year ago
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idk why this just popped into my head, but thinking about Steve who’s actually insanely smart, he always got straight A’s in school and the whole “dumb jock” was just a stereotype that Steve got stuck under and just never tried to prove wrong. Who cared whether or not he was actually smart? So he just played along. (Besides, it was an in to flirt with the girls; to pretend like he didn’t know what he was doing.) His parents had him tutored since he was old enough to count on his fingers, and sure it was exhausting, but it was something he was good at. Math, reading, science, it all came easy to him. He liked being able to impress the people around him. When he got involved with the upside down, the one thing that didn’t crumble around him was his studies. He was determined to make his parents proud. When it was time to send out all his college applications, his parents hadn’t returned home in months and by the time he heard back from the schools the upside down was worse than it’s ever been and it just wasn’t a concern anymore. So Steve stuffed the enveloped futures away. He had completely forgot about them. Until now.
It’s been a month since Hawkins cracked open. Max and Eddie both have been discharged from the hospital, on strict rehabilitation protocols. Because Wayne still had to work despite the government hush money, Steve decided it was best for Eddie to stay with him. Besides, the house is quiet and lonely, why not put it to good use? Steve had been downstairs frying eggs on a pan when Eddie came bounding around the corner clutching a stack of opened envelopes. He looked confused.
“What’s wrong Eds? What are those?” Steve asked, and when Eddie started rifling through the envelopes Steve caught the slightest sight of his school symbols. His heart dropped. “Eddie it’s not -“
“Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Columbia -“ Eddie starts naming off as he rifles through each envelope.
“Eddie.”
“You got into them all Steve. There’s like 10 different top notch schools here that you got into. Why has no one heard about this? And why are they stuffed in a drawer?”
“Because I’m not going” Steve says simply, like it was the easiest decision to make.
“What? What the fuck do you mean you’re not going?” Eddie asks appalled. And Steve gets why, he does, but he’s also determined to stand his ground.
“Why does it matter? I’m not going” Steve pouts, crossing his arms.
“Stevie. Did your parents pay for you to get in or something? Did they use the Harrington name you hate so much? There’s gotta be a reason you won’t go besides just being a stubborn asshole” and Steve gets why he‘a asking, and he’s never been hurt by it, but part of Steve flinches at the fact that Eddie couldn’t believe that Steve got in on his own account.
“No. It doesn’t matter, can we just drop it?”
“No. No we can’t. Do you know how badly I would KILL to get into any school, let alone an IVY. This is incredible Steve.” Eddie states, padding closer into the kitchen and Steve has to hold back a laugh at his rabbit slippers.
“I can’t go” Steve says quietly, turning away from Eddie and back to the stove where the eggs are starting to burn.
“Why though? Can you tell me that much?” Eddie asks, matching Steve’s soft tone.
“Because I have to be here. I have to be here incase Vecna isn’t really gone. Incase the kids need me. Incase Robin needs me. I can’t just leave…” Steve says, turning back towards Eddie to look at him before turning back towards the burnt eggs.
“Stevie. They’ll be fine. When are you gonna put yourself first sweetheart? I need a valid reason why you’re staying and I’ll drop it, because these aren’t -“
“Because you’re here!” Steve yells, turning back towards Eddie. Steve watches as Eddie’s lips part ever so slightly as his breath hitches before he continues. “When I got accepted into those schools the people who I did that for weren’t here anymore and fucking Henry Creel apparently was more prominent than ever, and the kids needed someone to take a hit and someone to protect them and Robin was here and she was the first person to care about me and what would that say about me if I left? And eventually those stupid schools were the furthest thing from my mind and then I thought about maybe going, maybe getting away from this hell… you came along and I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave you Eddie. With the regards of sounding cheesy, you carved a spot into my heart along side those bat bites and how was I supposed to just let you go after that?” Steve’s out of breath, and tears are starting to gather at his waterline, but he doesn’t care because Eddie is looking at him like he hung the sun and the moon and the stars and he remembers why he stays. And when Eddie’s lips collide with his own, he thinks he found home.
“We’re not done talking about this” Eddie says, and Steve chuckles as Eddie dives back in.
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krispycreamcake · 3 months ago
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The Sakamakis perfect match in: Game night
From author: This is a new series I'll be doing where I pair up the Sakamakis with their perfect partner for specific scenarios, so if you have any asks, feel free to send!
Shu Sakamaki
🎻- Frankly, Shu is a lazy man child whose only purpose on earth is to drive you up a wall
🎻- He needs someone competent that can carry your team for the BOTH of you because God knows he won't
🎻- Shu finds that getting a reaction out of you far more interesting than the game itself
🎻- So let's say you're playing Uno, he has five +4 cards up his ass and he's only willing to spend them on either you or Reiji
🎻- The truth is, when you're good at everything, no challenge is ever truly a challenge and that makes life soooo boring especially if you're immortal
🎻- Anyways, Shu would be best matched with someone that would try their best at any given game, especially if they're competitive
🎻- He also needs someone that's a major crash out and tweaks tf out when he ruins the game for them
Reiji Sakamaki
☕️- Reiji definitely needs a team player
☕️- He needs someone strategic and communicative so they can conspire together on ways to win
☕️- Here's a hint, he's open to blatant cheating if you do it in such a way that it doesn't technically count, except it so does
☕️- For example, you're all playing Monopoly. You offer to buy Ayato's property in exchange for yours except you KNOW that it's in between both of Reiji's properties, and the chances of him landing are extremely high and you and Reiji are in kahoots together so you both split the profits
☕️- See that's not technically cheating, that's playing smart
☕️- Reiji's best match would be someone who's competitive but also cunning. Ooh and never let him feel like you're the one in charge, he'll go crazy
Ayato Sakamaki
🏀- Well uh
🏀- He would want someone as arrogant and competitive as him, but is that what he needs? Absolutely not
🏀- Ayato needs someone level headed that can help balance out their team dynamic in order to win
🏀- He needs someone that'll see the flaws in his mistakes and take accountability for HIM because I have no idea if you could even convince him he even made a mistake in the first place
🏀- In short, Ayato needs someone to save that burning ship he's on
🏀- You need to be in control without specifically admitting you're in control, you need to be sneaky about it and make it seem like HE'S the one who came up with those ideas
🏀- The best example I can think of is when you're playing pictionary, you whisper something REALLY close to what the actual thing is and have him come up with the answer himself
Laito Sakamaki
🃏- Laito's best match would be someone who's a bit laid back and playful
🃏- While we all know Laito's extremely smart and can read people well, we need someone to bring out that side of him rather than takeover and never have him put his skills to use
🃏- He needs someone that'll force him to take the lead otherwise everything would just be a big joke to him and unless it's a game he likes, he genuinely does not care
🃏- You need to kind of be a Shu in this case
🃏- What I mean by this is, you need to tease him a bit, make him feel just the inciest bit insecure about his game skills. Tease him, make jabs at him, play mindlessly into the opponent's hands
🃏- Hmm this example would best describe what I mean. Imagine you're playing a game of Ludo and you roll a six and instead of moving your piece out of the way before it gets "eaten", you choose the option to unlock another of your pieces to the game. He goes nuts after your like 3rd time of this and subtly starts giving advice despite cussing you out in his mind
Kanato Sakamaki
🧸- Someone patient for sure but also extremely determined
🧸- You need to essentially gentle parent him to the finish line
🧸- Don't get mad at him when he makes a dumb move but let him scold you because you did
🧸- Kanato would work well with someone that's headstrong and has a clear view of victory. He needs someone he can trash talk the other players to, regardless if they're his brothers or not
🧸- Aside from him being batshit insane, he'd be a fun person to play with. He's smart and calculated in the emotional aspect of the game and he can read his players really well
🧸- He knowsss how to get under their skin and might even have a freak out if someone calls him out. Of course none of it is real, but what the others said DID hurt his feelings (just maybe not to that extent truthfully)
🧸- Kanato would work well with someone willing to put up with his antics, someone who's patient and well versed in the game they're playing
🧸- The only example for this scenario I can think of is imagine you guys are playing checkers or chess and Kanato stands behind you while outwardly critiquing your opponent's every flaw and making disappointed noises and distracting them purposely
Subaru Sakamaki
🥀- Similar to Kanato, he needs someone patient
🥀- Obviously his anger will be an issue, but you also need to be smart to be able to point out the flaws in his moves and communicate to him ways to win
🥀- See Subaru would pair great with someone that can tell him what to do clearly and precisely
🥀- You need to be the brains to his brawns, you need to think and act quickly
🥀- You also need to shit talk his brothers with him
🥀- Maybe they made a stupid move, why not try lightening the mood with some loud whispering about them
🥀- Subaru would act like he doesn't like the idea of game night, but by the time he has the dice in his hand, he's folded. And because of this, he needs someone that can have fun with him
🥀- He needs someone playful but yet a person that can lock in at any given moment
🥀- Even if you guys don't win, he'll make a comment on how fun it was in the end
🥀- Example wise, I can honestly only think of you guys playing Snakes and Ladders and you shake the desk while the dice rolls to give someone the exact number they need to get eaten by a snake and he's just in the background backing you up and vouching for you that you didn't do it, meanwhile he's trying so hard not to laugh his ass off
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venusbby · 2 years ago
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i just feel like being itoshi rin's bestfriend is a whole new experience.
there is something about being rin's closest person that brings you a feeling of warmth and pride altogether. knowing each other for years, you were aware that the mighty itoshi rin was selective when it came to people he wanted to spend time with. sure, he had many friends, he was a professional player after all- but even he can't help but admit that nobody could compare with you.
maybe it's because to him, you aren't really a friend at all.
you're much more.
and he definitely does not want to admit that. so he does not.
you, on the other hand, have a hard time trying to figure it all out. one part of you thought in a more simple way.
he's just closer with me because we've known each other for so long, that's all it is.
and then there's the other part of you that is greedy and aching and yearning to get some sort of sign that he's interested.
you're not expecting much. this is itoshi rin we're talking about. he just doesn't do any of that stuff. it's crazy that you're even thinking about the topic of dating when all these years you haven't heard a single word from him about having a simple crush on someone. but again, this is itoshi rin. he doesn't say the things he doesn't want to say. he doesn't show the feelings that he doesn't want to show.
you scolded yourself every year for not getting over your little crush on your bestfriend. unfortunately for you, it went on increasing until your heart was overflowing with care and adoration for a guy who seemed absolutely clueless about romance and the wildly trending best friends to lovers trope in almost every recent book or movie.
in your case, the best friends to lovers trope feels a little less sad because rin never really showed any interest in other people.
oh, little did you know. but you're still glad that the person writing your story didn't pour the cup full of jealousy into your life.
it's almost comical how stupid the both of you are.
a hopeless romantic and her hopelessly unaware bestfriend.
the stupidity goes for a few more months. sneaky glances, touches that feel like a spark, those short words of affection that rin manages when you're at the lowest and oh, the birthday.
the stupidity finally stops at rin's birthday.
ten minutes left to 12 AM. you were trying to drive as slowly and as patiently as you could to rin's apartment. arriving early would just ruin the surprise. you needed to get out of the car when there were just 8 minutes left, so that by the time you reached the high floor of the apartment complex it would leave you with 5 minutes to prepare yourself and the box of cake in your sweaty hands, waiting outside his door. then you would enter when there's just a minute left.
only rin deserved this type of difficult and serious planning.
you felt the pride for being able to think so much and felt extremely smart for calculating this plan accurately. however, the feelings were quick to drain out and be replaced by nervousness.
he wouldn't be mad, no. you just didn't want to make him feel awkward.
rin never really made a big deal about his birthdays. that never stopped him from letting his teammates and friends from blue lock enjoy the day, though. every year, he booked some place they could spend time, eat, drink, party, whatever. he didn't care much, just watched bachira and isagi wreck havoc. as long as he had you sitting next to him, laughing at his friends' antics, he was okay. he also liked seeing you happy. his chest bloomed with some unfamiliar feeling every time you said that you were happy because he was happy.
one minute left.
you quietly entered with the spare key rin had given you.
for emergencies.
somehow birthdays counted, right?
the lights were off, and you felt a little dumb. it would be really embarrassing if rin wasn't even home. maybe even more embarrassing if rin didn't expect you to come at all and told you to go back home or something.
from the living room, you could still see rays of faint warm light making its way into the hallways, escaping through the doorway of his bedroom. judging by the low sound effects, you guessed he was watching another movie or tv show.
one thing your dumbass forgot to plan. how the heck were you supposed to call him into the living room without scaring him?
fuck it, you thought.
"rin, im home, come out here please." you tried, trying your best to sound as less alerting as you could, hoping you didn't scare the guy. from the way the sound of the movie quickly stopped after your voice, you grimaced.
quick, heavy footsteps followed as itoshi rin entered his living room. his expression was a mix between a scowl and a frown- a face only he could make. you paused before you could even try to explain.
paired with the handsome, annoyed face was the absence of a shirt.
what were you going to say again?
well, it didn't matter. rin spoke before you could even adjust to the unfamiiar view.
"what the fuck."
"uh, look-" you managed.
"no, what the actual fuck."
you pursed your lips in an attempt to put your mind to work, to come up with something- anything. those teal eyes felt vibrant even in the darkness of the living room with just more of the golden light from his room passing through- because of the bedroom door now being opened all the way. you shifted from one foot to another. he continued to stare, his eyes slowly travelling down to the cake you were holding.
"happy birthday."
itoshi rin, your bestfriend, exhaled.
two strides and he was standing right in front of you, expression unreadable, and maybe you were hallucinating, because in the slight darkness you thought you saw him smile.
"y/n, you're insane." he breathed out, running a hand through his dark, disheveled hair. rin's face felt a little warm when he realized how he looked in this situation. this is by far the most out of pocket thing you've done, in his opinion.
for you though, this reaction was somewhat better than what you'd expected. you bit your lip to hold back a smile and set the box down on the neatly kept coffee table next to you. "i might be."
it was already three minutes past twelve. but you didn't care anymore.
while you carefully removed the cake out and placed it on the table, rin turned the lights on, still not recovered from your sudden appearance.
"shit," you realized when the brightness of the light hit your eyesight, "i forgot the fucking candles in the car. sorry."
now as unbelievable as it sounds, it was rin's turn to hold back a smile as he muttered quietly, "stupid."
it was even harder to focus on the cake without candles in front of you, when itoshi rin was sitting next to you on the couch, shirtless.
silence filled the room, and none of you made a move.
why would you do anything anyway? wasn't it rin's job to cut the cake?
apparently, you seemed more interesting than the cake, because rin was staring at you instead. you stuttered underneath his gaze. "what, you want me to sing the song for you?"
he huffed, attempting to fix his hair so he could stop thinking about your sleepy eyes. god damn it. he didn't know how to deal with this, with the erratic beating of his heart.
"thanks. for this."
itoshi rin was malfunctioning. and you were the cause for that.
to that, you managed a genuine smile. it was nice to hear.
"it's nothing. i did it because i care." you said quietly, fiddling with your fingers, eyes focused on the cake. you don't think you can handle looking at him. it might tempt you to pour out all your feelings. you could save them for another day, just not his birthday.
the mess of your hair kept together by a hairband, your heavy eyelids and the nervous fumbling of your fingers, rin knew you meant more. you wouldn't do so much for him despite being so tired if you just cared. there was only one option he had, to show you how thankful he was.
you're out of your short anxious trance when his bare, strong arms slowly but confidently pulled you into him.
the shock doesn't last for long and you find yourself melting in his embrace, face resting against his shoulder as your arms made their way to his back, to hold him tighter.
the cake must be satisfied with this outcome as well because it doesn't complain as you both stay in the same position for quite a few minutes.
rin felt your breath against his collarbone and sighed.
"stay the night. i can tell you're tired."
you don't deny it, but still whisper, "let's eat the cake first."
he finally let out a soft chuckle, feeling relieved that you couldn't see him as he mumbled something along the lines of "that's why i love you."
wait.
did he say love?
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dr-spencer-reids-queen · 3 months ago
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Seeds of Fate
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~1.6k
Warnings: fluff
Summary: You and your group of friends enjoy the carnival before it shuts down for the rest of the year. Spencer and his friends decide to pass the time and enjoy some of the rides as a way to unwind from their stressful jobs. You and Spencer don’t always see eye to eye but maybe this is a chance for you two to grow closer… much closer.
Square Filled: carnival au (2022) for @spencerreidbingo
Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3
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The carnival is only in town for another two days so the park is packed with people trying to get in their fun before the carnival moves on to the next town in the next state. You’ve been planning to go since you love amusement parks but never had any time to go. The girls from your gym class had planned on going the last weekend it’s open and invited you.
The girls are giggling when they enter the carnival after getting tickets. You’ve been giggling like schoolgirls ever since you arrived and it’s a bit annoying now. They’re the type the girls that love drama and you don’t need that right now.
“What are you two giggling about?”
“Have you heard from Spencer?”
You want to roll your eyes. Of course, they’d be gossiping about you and Spencer Reid. Ever since you told them about the man who works three floors above you, that’s all they can talk about. Spencer is a good guy but you think he’s arrogant. He’s a know-it-all and always tries to prove he’s the smartest guy in the room. It’s infuriating, and it doesn’t help that he’s gorgeous. He knows he gets on your nerves and comes down to your floor as often as he can just so he can rub it in your face how great he is.
“What about him?” you sigh.
“Don’t play dumb, Y/N. We all know he’s so into you.”
“What?” You look at them like they have three heads. “No, he doesn’t. He’s annoying and he pisses me off.”
“Have you ever thought he only does that because then your attention is on him? You don’t see him visiting anyone else but you on that floor.”
“How do you know? You don’t even work there.”
“Penelope tells me,” your friend grins.
Penelope went to your gym class once and bonded with one of your friends. You didn’t know that she kept in touch with her.
“Whatever. There’s nothing between us. I don’t think I could handle him telling me how great he is every two seconds.”
Despite your objections, they all giggle knowing you’re into him as much as he is into you. They think the reason he gets on your nerves so much is because you hate how attracted you are to him. Yes, you’re attracted to smart guys but Spencer takes it to a whole new level. You try to be the smart one but Spencer always has something to say, always trying to disprove your theories, and often tells you that if his team had just listened to him, things might have been different.
The first thing your friend stops at is one of the food stands. They hadn’t eaten all day and it’s not a good idea to ride on an empty stomach. You won’t get a meal but something to snack on so that you don’t feel queasy on rides. You’re in line when you hear hollers come from the right of you. The entire BAU team besides Hotch and Rossi are there laughing at something Derek said. Spencer runs his hand through his hair and shakes his head which makes his hair look fluffier than normal.
You have to admit, he does look incredible. They’re all dressed in normal clothing which is such a stark contrast to the professional clothing they wear on the daily. Spencer is dressed in black jeans, black and white Converse, a dark purple button-up, a black jacket, and a bright purple scarf wrapped twice around his neck. It’s a bit chilly but you know once the sun goes down, it’ll be very cold. That’s why you decided to wear one of your thicker jackets.
Maybe it won’t be so bad to date Spencer. No! Do not let what’s between your legs decide if you should date him! You bet he’d know how to pleasure a woman the right way. He thinks he’s so smart…
“Y/N?” You look at Amber and notice her smirk. “It’s your turn to order unless you’d like to continue to stare at Spencer.”
“Shut up,” you mumble.
“Go talk to him.”
“No. Leave me alone.”
Her laughter haunts you even after you walk away with food in hand. After having a snack, you and your friends head out to the most thrilling of rides. Most of them you go on but there are a few that you refuse to go on. Ones like the Drop Tower and most notably, the Zipper. There is no way you’re ever getting in that death trap especially when it doesn’t have any straps to hold you in place. You have to go in pairs to be safe and there are seven in your friend group. You’re more than happy to sit this one out.
As you’re waiting, you smile when you hear your friends scream in delight from being tossed around like ragdolls.
“I’m surprised to see you here.” You look to the right and see Spencer approaching. “I thought you didn’t like rides like these.”
He remembered? You only mentioned it once while passing by him.
“I like thrill rides just not this one. My friends are on there. I’m surprised you’re here. Isn’t this place too childish for someone like you?”
“Someone like me? Care to elaborate on that?”
“You know, a smarty-pants? A know-it-all? I figure you like to live it up in libraries.”
“I do have fun browsing the historical section.” You scoff and shake your head but you have a smile on your face. “I’m not all stiff and proper as you might think. I do like to go out and have fun.”
“What? You? Have fun? Do you even know what the word means?”
“Although its etymology is uncertain, it has been speculated that it may be derived from Middle English fonne meaning ‘fool’ and fonnen meaning ‘the one fooling the other’. Evidence shows that fun first appeared in English in the late 1600s. Fun was a French invention, along with lace and jousting; before the Norman Conquest in the 11th century, fun was unknown in the British Isles. Chaucer was the first to notably dabble in fun. While many English writers of the 14th century turned to high-flying concepts like religion, mythology, and romance—Latin concepts that had made their way to England in the saddlebags of the Norman French—Chaucer turned instead to a truly Anglo-French combination of fun and fart jokes.”
Spencer does a double take when he sees the look on your face, and a slight blush creeps up his neck.
“I mean, yeah, I do.” He clears his throat and looks at the Zipper. “So, you hate this ride?”
“Yeah.” You can’t help but smile at his rambling. He might be a pain in the ass but it’s cute to watch him ramble about things. “I don’t like being jerked around for fun.”
“If you go on with me, I’ll protect you.”
“My hero,” you say sarcastically.
The ride ends and lets your friends off who are laughing from the sensation.
“Look! It’s Spencer!” Amber grins and looks between you two. “What are you doing over here? Where are your friends?”
“They ditched me. I turn my back for one second and they disappear. I’m sure I’ll hear from them after they get tired of riding rides and want something to eat.”
“Why don’t you hang with us in the meantime? Y/N will need some company when we go on the Drop Tower next.”
“Sure, if she’ll have me,” he says and looks at you.
“Don’t be silly. Of course, she will.”
Yes, Spencer had some fun facts about the Drop Tower that you didn't mind hearing. His friends came and tried to get him but he wanted to stay with you for a little while longer and would meet up with them later. The next ride you’re going on is one you all love, the Ferris Wheel. Your friends pile into the first car, and Amber stops to talk to the attendant letting people on. She whispers something to him and points to you and Spencer before smirking. You’re about to get on when he puts his arm up to stop you.
“I’m sorry, this one is full. You’ll have to take the next one.”
“This one isn’t full. There are at least four more seats available.”
“You heard the man. You and Spencer can catch the next one,” Amber smirks.
You glare at her just as the doors close. I’m gonna kill her. The ride moves along to the next empty one, stopping right before you and Spencer. You two climb on and the attendant stops the next couple of people from going on. That little Minx. The ride begins its ascend to the top slowly, stopping to let passengers on and off. 
You’re not sure what to say to Spencer so you don’t say anything. Spencer looks out the window and seems fixated on a single spot as if he’s staring at something. You lean closer to the edge and see what he’s seeing. There is an older couple maybe in their seventies standing off to the side with a single Cotton Candy treat for both of them to share. The man rips a piece off and feeds his wife who takes it with a smile on her face.
“Look, that’ll be us in sixty years,” you joke with Spencer.
“I don’t mind taking care of you for the rest of my life if it means I get to be with you.”
You look at Spencer and realize just how close you two are. If you were to slide two inches to the right, you’d be right in his lap. He glances down at your lips before crashing his mouth to yours. Spencer needed to take the leap before he talked himself out of kissing you. You’re glad he did because kissing him feels like you’re on Cloud 9. The Ferris Wheel stops at the very top, allowing you to overlook the entire park.
However, you’re not doing much looking.
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st4rb3rries · 1 year ago
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the main 4 meeting you for the first time
pairings; stan, kyle, kenny, cartman x fem!reader (all aged up 17-18)
summary; reactions and meeting you
warnings; cussing and suggestive language
a/n; hopefully you guys understand the kyle and stan one😭
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how kyle and stan met you:
you met them senior year. they saw your fine ass in class and were like "gawd dayum 😍😍🔥❤️" NAH JK kyle and stan secretly talked shit about you because you were the smartest in class. (they haven't even talked to you once) it was mostly kyle because he was jealous of your academic intelligence.
kyle: "who does she think she is acting like a goody two shoes and she shouldn't even be talking with that big ass forehead her calculations aren't even correct dude i'm totally way smarter than y/n🙄"
stan: "ong bruh like her forehead is bigger than my relationship with my dad😭 and no one can outsmart my super best friend dude🤨"
y/n: ....
like y'all sit close by each other in class and they still have the audacity to talk shit😭. they weren't even slick either you could clearly hear them but they thought you couldn't.
but one day things changed. they were struggling in algebra so you decided to help them. out of the kindness of your heart? no. the teacher told you to help them. this was the moment that would change everything.
y/n: "hi do you need some help it looks like you guys are struggling"
kyle: "no were fine we don't need your help"
stan: "yeah dude you can go away, kyle is way smarter than you we don't need you"
kyle: "yeah that's right i'm smarter than you punk so you can go away now🤓"
y/n: "ok kyle why did you pick 'd' instead of 'c' for number 1🥱"
kyle: "WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS D HOW COU-"
stan: "DUDE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE US FAIL"
y/n: "ah look at that so you need my help after all"
stan and kyle: "smart ass"
y/n: "what was that hm?"
kyle: "smart class"
stan: "y-yeah we have a smart class😇"
y/n: "i know you guys talk shit about me don't think your so slick"
stan and kyle: 😮😮
they stopped talking bad about you. since you found out you started "helping" them more and they both started getting to know you better. even though they still had their attitude. and with all that helping there formed a friendship<3.
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how cartman and kenny met you:
you also met them senior year. you however only met them because you decided to ditch class and do your business under the bleachers. both of them have seen you in class and they know your smart. they just didn't really care about you though.
*you walk over to the bleachers*
cartman: "oh shit teachers, RUN KENNY'
y/n: "im not a teacher wtf😭 "
they got scared there for a minute. but they weren't anymore until they recognized your annoying voice. cartman and kenny also thought you would never ditch class because your so smart🤨. (they were generally surprised)
cartman: "sorry there's no nerdy bitches allowed😘"
kenny: "you can be my nerdy bitch😏"
y/n: "and that's why your moms should've swallowed both of you when she had the chance."
cartman: 😮
kenny: "HAHAHAH" *bros tryna get into them baggy jeans💀*
cartman: "what the hell are you even doing here"
y/n: "no what are you doing here🤨"
cartman: "ditching class duh you dumb slut🙄"
y/n: "ok tubby well i need both of you to leave"
kenny: "why🥹"
y/n: "don't worry about it"
kenny: "YES MA'AM😍"
unfortunately they stayed because they're nosy as hell. anyways after they both saw you make money by doing peoples homework. they had mad respect for you. cartman was even a bit jealous that you came up with so much money. kenny on the other hand was wondering if you provide other types of services🤔.
cartman: " here y/n take this why don't we talk for a bit"
y/n: "are these crushed up smarties🤨"
kenny: "ya you can smoke em' or snort em' "
y/n: "y'all can't afford the real stuff💀?"
cartman: "so about your services, i'd like to be your manager i can make you stronger and smarter"
y/n: "do you have a gpa of 4.0"
kenny: "does 2.8 count"
cartman: "kenny stfu im tryna make us some money here"
cartman: "anyways so-"
after talking with them you agreed. but little did know that agreement was gonna be a long one. both of them truly admired your hard work and at some point it wasn't about the money. they really just liked hanging out with you😭.
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beanghostprincess · 1 year ago
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i would care if you talked about luffy's issues please talk please tell me all your takes, genuinely (< anon who enjoys your takes)
I am so thankful you asked me this because Luffy is genuinely one of my favorite characters of all time, especially when it comes to shonen protagonists. I'm always saying I don't like shonens (says the one that watches a lot of shonens) but that's mainly because the main characters never feel... Well-written enough for me to like them. But, well, One Piece is different. With all characters, really. It's one of the first shonens I watch that I genuinely love and enjoy because of the characters (shout out to Mob Psycho 100 being one of my favorite animes of all time too because of that same reason).
Luffy is a very complex character and I think that's why he gets mischaracterized most of the time when it comes to the fandom. Some people make him too dumb. Others make him too childish. Others make him way darker and more depressed than he truly is. And I'd say that's weird, having in mind how much the show talks about Luffy and is focused on Luffy's POV, but I kind of understand because people aren't used to characters that are both optimistic and realistic at the same time. Most of the time people consider an optimistic character to be completely idealistic (a good example here is Uta. She is idealistic because she's been sheltered for so long and thinks something as complex as the corruption in the world can be solved with a few songs and love) and refuse to acknowledge the fact that somebody with hopes and dreams can also understand (first-hand, even) the suffering within the world. People like extremes. They like to make both Law and Zoro extremely edgy. They like to babify Sanji and Koby. They forget about Nami's character depth to make her only "the mean lesbian" of the group (that term makes me so fucking furious you don't even know). Etc. Etc. Etc. The thing is: Luffy has layers. His personality varies. He's optimistic. He's realistic. He's stupid. He's emotionally intelligent. He's impulsive. He cares about the safety of the people around him. He's careless. He feels guilt. He's confident. He's so damn insecure. He's playful. He's the most serious character too. Etc. Etc. Etc.
What I want to say with all of this is that Luffy, despite being always perceived as this childish, dumb, and careless character within the fandom, has so much depth and trauma he deals with every fucking day. I once saw somebody saying Luffy is "not smart enough to understand the feeling of sadness" and I started laughing because what the fuck does that even mean. And... Is that person watching the same thing as me? Because the guy has suffered the injustice of the world so many times and so many losses that I can't even count them.
Basically: People portray Luffy as if he hadn't gone through any type of trauma when OP has shown countless times that he has been through a lot. A fucking lot. Perhaps it's the fact that he's the one hiding it all the time in the show, always replacing sadness with the need to be stronger so he doesn't feel like that ever again (aka protecting everyone so he doesn't lose anybody again. And not even in a selfish way to not be alone, although we could say that he does feel like that to some extent. But because his loved ones do not deserve to disappear or die in those ways and he feels guilty whenever it happens because every time, he says it's because he wasn't strong enough to protect them) and that's why most people don't realize how much pain he has gone through. But that's not a very valid argument because we have a lot of arcs that prove it otherwise (Sabaody, Marineford, Film Red, Wano...). So, yeah, I guess people just don't know how to read.
Starting through chronological order, I want to talk about his abandonment issues and savior complex that always seem to go hand in hand.
Luffy doesn't like to be alone. He's a very empathetic and extroverted person. He doesn't like to be bored, always loving the company of somebody else. But, sadly, he has always been kind of alone? People come and go for him all the time, and you can't tell me that doesn't affect him psychologically. He's 7 when he meets Uta and Shanks and the kid has never been more excited! That's when his dream of being a pirate begins and it's the first time he has a friend. A real friend, not just random animals he manages to find or older people that sometimes take care of him. Luffy gets bored easily, so of course, Shanks and Uta, being something new, make his life brighter. With dreams and new experiences and hope for a newer, better life outside his village. And then Uta and Shanks have to go, of course, and he stays all alone again. From what we've seen, the only thing Luffy did when they weren't around was just... Waiting for them to come back to him. That's it. Luffy's joy basically comes from being with people, and especially when he's fixated on somebody in particular, he doesn't let them go. Then they come back... But Uta is not with them anymore. That's Luffy's first heartbreak, in my opinion. It's when he decides that he has to be stronger. He loved Uta so damn much. She meant the world to him. And suddenly she isn't there, giving him no time to say goodbye, and... He only has Shanks. But Shanks refuses to tell him the truth about what happened with her. So here you go! It's the first time Luffy loses somebody this dear to him and the first time Shanks betrays him enough for him to get angry at his hero. He ends up accepting it, of course, but not because he has moved on, but because both Uta and Shanks told him to be stronger. More mature. And he forces himself to grow up faster because he wants something. He wants to know where his friend is, and if Shanks refuses to tell him because he's just a kid, then he'll just have to grow up and become stronger. To become a pirate and to keep the promise he made with Uta. The movies aren't canon so I just keep thinking about Luffy wondering where Uta is, and it breaks my heart every time.
Then Ace and Sabo appear in his life and... They are literally everything to him. I like Garp. He did what he could do. Kind of. But he leaves Luffy on his own with Ace under the care of some bandits (Dadan we love you, queen). So he can't really blame Luffy for the way he turned out to be, honestly. The thing is: Ace and Sabo are, again, something new to Luffy. They are not just friends. They are his brothers, now. We don't talk enough about Luffy's maturity and respect for other people's dreams even when he's just a kid. Luffy literally was kidnapped and beaten up and he didn't dare to say a word about Ace and Sabo's treasure because he respected their dream. He's loyal and understands other people's feelings and hopes perfectly. His empathy and emotional intelligence are just perfect. Then, well, you all know the story, but these two become the most important thing in Luffy's life, not only because they are his brothers, but because they are the representation of their dreams and future. And then it crashes into a million fucking pieces because of Celestial Dragons and classism and rich people quite literally saying "We are burning down the poor because they don't deserve to live! Woohoo!". And it's Luffy's first time realizing that the world is unfair and fucked up and that there are people that believe to be superior to others, a thing that Luffy fights against all the time.
So, Luffy learns that the world is extremely fucked up at a very young age. He has first-hand contact with the abuse rich people inflict on others, in every way. He suffers from the torture that is fighting for your life in the world of pirating and thieves when he's not even a pirate yet. He's just a kid. What the fuck. And then he loses Sabo. His older brother literally is killed by a celestial dragon and he can't do anything about it. He can only cry, of course, he's just a kid. What is he going to do? So he decides to become stronger. Because he feels weak in the hands of what is the injustice of the world. He feels trapped by that injustice, in my opinion, and wanting to be stronger is just the path to freedom. Because freedom means being able to save the people he cares about.
And here's the thing: Luffy's need to become stronger always comes from the guilt he feels after losing somebody, blaming himself even though he literally could have done nothing at the time to save Uta or Sabo. He has a severe savior complex, not to feel better about himself (although you could say that it would certainly fix his fear of being weak) but to not lose anybody else. For some reason he always feels responsible for the faith of the people he loves, he's constantly putting others first and sacrificing himself and then feeling guilty and weak when he can't save them when it wasn't even in his hands to save them in the first place.
Kid Luffy goes through a ton of stuff in his early years and the fear of being alone... Of losing somebody he cares about... It haunts him. He sees Shanks and piracy as the meaning of freedom and strength. It's just that simple for him: If he becomes a pirate, he'll be strong. If he's strong, he'll be free. If he's free, he'll never lose anybody again.
And yet, even if he's confident he'll manage to do this... He's still a kid. He's still a little brother. Ace's little brother. He depends on Ace, too, because that's the one person he has left. Ace promises him he won't die because he's just as confident, and says this as if Luffy was stupid for thinking something could happen to him. Not to get too into Ace's character right now, but the fact that he's constantly wondering if he should be alive to then realize Luffy needs him to stay alive... Is so damn beautiful.
And then he literally dies in front of Luffy. Protecting Luffy. And Oh, boy if that doesn't kill him... But that comes after Sabaody! After losing literally all of his crew! God, stop hurting this guy already for fuck's sake-
Long story short, Luffy manages to get a family. Not a crew. A family. He's not alone anymore, and he proves constantly that he won't let any of them go or die on him the way it happened with Uta and Sabo.
Water 7 is... Rough for Luffy, to say the least. Because it's the first time he sees everything he has built crumbling down. Robin is taken by the Marines. Usopp wants to leave the crew because he doesn't feel like he fits in, even though Luffy knows he is perfect for the family (Usopp just can't believe him because, you know, insecurities suck). And he has to learn how to be a captain. A true captain. He has to make the harsh decision of fighting his best friend and letting him go (his worst fucking fear) at the age of 17 because he's the captain. He has to be mature. And strong. And he definitely doesn't feel like those now. Not when Robin is also on her way to be executed.
Usopp is leaving. Robin might die. And it's just like Uta and Sabo all over again.
So, basically, Luffy grows up too fast. He grows up too fast, with the fear of abandonment and being weak, and the weight of being the captain of a whole crew resting on his shoulders. Besides, he fights against the world government for Robin because he refuses to let her die thinking she doesn't deserve/want to live, and it reminds me a lot of Ace's story. Ace doesn't think he deserves to live but then stays because he realizes that Luffy loves him and needs him. Robin, thanks to Luffy, realizes that she wants to live and that she has a new family to fight for.
Nobody dies and Usopp comes back this time, so everything ends up turning out fine after all! Yay!
Then Sabaody happens and I swear my guy can't have a fucking break.
Who has suffered more, Jesus Christ or Monkey D. Luffy from Sabaody to Marineford? I think we already know the answer.
He loses all of his crew. All at once. His worst fucking fear. They vanish right in front of his eyes and he can't do anything. He feels weak. He's shattered. Completely broken. But he's optimistic, still, because he believes in his crew and he knows they'll find a way to be together again! They've ben through a lot together, and they can find each other in a few days in Sabaody again. It's fine. But he has to delay it, of course, because his other biggest fucking fear is happening right now: Ace might die. His older brother might die.
So if you mix the trauma that caused him to have abandonment issues and a savior complex with the fact that Ace is the only sibling he has left and he is completely alone because his crew isn't by his side anymore... You get the most heartbreaking arc of the show! Awesome.
He does everything he can to save Ace. Ace complains about it, begging him to stay away from danger. And he refuses because he's his brother. He has to fight for him. And he does. And Ace dies anyway. Ace dies protecting him, too, and the hope that was left within him dies completely at that moment. Everything is shattered. His whole world is crumbling down. And I think that Luffy dies too at that moment.
For Luffy, losing Ace is not like losing a limb. Losing Ace is losing his everything. Ace meant the world to him. He was the representation of their dreams and hopes and past and future. He was the only person who knew Sabo like the back of his hand, too. And now Luffy is the only one carrying their souls. All alone.
That's probably Luffy's rock bottom. He doesn't think he deserves to be a pirate (or alive, either, but I don't want to get too deep into his suicidal thoughts I definitely think are a real thing because then this becomes too dark. But yeah. I think he does think about that too). He doesn't think he's strong enough. And he's completely broken.
There's this line from Fleabag that I absolutely adore: "I don't know what to do with it." / "With what?" / "With all the love I have for her. I don't know where to put it now."
Because Ace is gone. He's completely gone. And all the love Luffy has for him turns into grief and he doesn't know what to do anymore if Ace's soul isn't in the world to look after him. He doesn't know what to do if all the love and feelings he has for his brother go to waste. And it's his fault. Because he wasn't strong enough to protect him. Because he wasn't able to protect himself, Ace having to sacrifice himself for him. (And we know he feels guilty about this because he tells Sabo the second they meet again. He apologizes for not protecting Ace. He feels guilty about what happened still. And Sabo is just glad Luffy is okay because he knows his brothers too well to know already what happened).
Then our beloved Jinbe comes along (I love you. Please adopt me) and, following that quote of Fleabag: "I'll take it. No, I'm serious. It sounds lovely. I'll have it. You have to give it to me." / "Okay." / "It's got to go somewhere."
Jinbe reminds Luffy that he still has his crew. That he still has people who need him alive. People that love him and care for him. That he can't be weak if he has helped so many people already. That they're willing to take both the love and pain Ace makes him feel. And it's such a great character development for Luffy... It makes me go insane. He remembers his crew one by one and realizes that he's not alone anymore. That he has to be stronger for them and for Ace. And for Uta. And Sabo. Jinbe is there with him when the others couldn't, and it has nothing to do with Luffy's issues but I just want to mention how much I love Jinbe for this.
But he still feels the need to be stronger and the fear of losing his crew and the people he loves still haunts him. He tells the straw hats to meet after 2 years (that's a long fucking time. Like. Longer than the time they've spent together. Imagine the loyalty, damn). And it's... It's so beautifully written. The 3D2Y scene is one of my favorites because it shows the loyalty and love they have for each other, and how Luffy is willing to become stronger for the people he loves and the ones he has lost along the way. I literally have the tattoo. I am obsessed with the whole concept.
As I said, Luffy's abandonment issues and the fact that he wants to become stronger to never lose anybody again (Savior complex much?) still remain even after his character development. Because that's not something you get rid of. That's just how he is. And I think that, as long as he is with the straw hats, it won't be a problem.
Also I wanted to mention his reunion with Sabo! The guilt he feels for losing Ace? The way he clings onto his older brother as if they were going to take Sabo away from him? They're extremely codependent and I am here for it, honestly. Sabo would die for Luffy and Luffy would kill him if he did that. Also, I don't know where the fuck Sabo is now because I'm only watching Wano but I swear to God if something happens to him I will murder somebody with my bare hands. :)
Oh! And then it comes my favorite arc of all the show: Whole Cake Island (to the surprise of literally no one!). Luffy, in the beginning, is extremely optimistic when it comes to rescuing Sanji. He's simple like that. "If he doesn't want to get married, we rescue him. If he wants to get married, he just brings his wife with us!". And if Sanji didn't want to come back to them (truly not wanting to) he would accept it. But Sanji wants to. Luffy knows Sanji wants to go back to the Sunny with them. He knows Sanji isn't being true to himself. And God, he's desperate. Because Sanji is stubborn and his self-sacrificing and deprecating thoughts are even stronger than Luffy's, and he won't give up until Luffy lets him go. But Luffy doesn't want to fight him, he just wants his cook back. Because he knows that, no matter how much harm he does to him, Sanji is only doing it to himself (one of my favorite quotes from OP). So, Luffy goes again through the desperation of not losing a crewmate, but losing one of his wings. Without Sanji, Luffy can't become the king of the pirates. He's willing to die from starvation for him. Are you- Are you all aware that he almost fucking dies from starvation? I don't think we talk about that enough because what the actual fuck. There's this thing they tell Luffy (I don't remember exactly when or the exact phrasing) about him wanting Sanji back out of selfishness and not because of Sanji's well-being and... I partially agree? Don't get me wrong, Luffy does everything here for Sanji because he knows Sanji is suffering and lying to himself. But Luffy is selfish, too. Luffy doesn't want Sanji to go away because he loves him. That's his cook. He doesn't want to lose anybody else, even less knowing that they're going to be unhappy. That's kind of for me the confirmation of Luffy's abandonment issues. Like- He does everything for his crew, of course, but he's so scared of losing them. Then Sanji comes back to them, of course, and they have their own Pride and Prejudice moment. Not even Jane Austen can write shit like this.
I kind of want to talk about Wano but I haven't finished it yet (I'm like, on episode 1056) but I would like to mention how beautiful it is for Luffy to carry Ace's soul and promises like that. And also the responsibility he carries during the whole arc to save Wano? That's so- It's so fucked up. He's such a good leader and captain and everything I said in this post and all the things he does in Wano show that he will become the king of the pirates. I love him so damn much. I can't even write it down properly.
Anyway, summarizing everything: Luffy has a lot of abandonment issues and a savior complex that becomes unhealthy to the point of sacrificing himself and always carrying the burdens of everyone else. Because he fears he might lose his loved ones if he isn't strong enough. So. You know. It would be great if people stopped saying he's just childish and fun and that he doesn't have any character depth because he's probably the most complex shonen protagonist I've ever seen! He has suffered so damn much it hurts! Live Laugh Love Luffy! <3
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eggroll-sama · 2 years ago
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Record of Ragnarok: Ideal s/o Headcanons
Female!reader
Warning: suggestive, mention of sex
Poseidon
Poseidon will want someone that will aesthetically compliment his looks and reputation. In other words, he’d like someone that is beautiful, but not as beautiful as him. Specifically, he doesn’t really have a preference. You just need to have nice teeth, kept hair, glowing and unblemished skin, a symmetrical face, and on and on and on. Just don’t be more beautiful than him, thank you.
Personality wise, he’d like someone that is feminine, intelligent and regal.
You can be dominant and arrogant with others, just don’t be when you’re with him. It’ll tarnish his reputation as a strong and fearsome god. Also if you are a virgin he would like that. It would boost his ego to know he has the privilege to be the only one to be with you.
He wants you to be intelligent and to be well versed in history, mathematics, language, and the sciences. He’s more traditional and emphasizes more importance on book smarts than street smarts. Also, if you’re really good at debating and holding your own in an argument, he’d find it very attractive. For example, if during a godly meeting you were to stand your own on a stance against another god, he’d be so smug and in love with you. He wouldn’t show it on his face, but once you get back to the castle he would pin you against the wall and make out with you, growling under his breathe about how it was your fault for making him this way.
Not Ideal: dumb, domineering, scheming :)
More characters under the cut!
Thor
Loki sometimes badgers him about his ideal s/o. He wouldn’t answer him -much to his cousin's chagrin- but in his mind his love would have long dark hair and a nice smile.
Personality wise, he’d like someone that is strong. In any type of sense. He would prefer a more physically strong lover, but it is not a requirement. He emphasizes the most on a strong mentality. He believes no matter how muscular or large you are, without a strong soul you are weak. He understands the hardships of being the lover of a god; they’d have to have the mental strength to overcome difficulties of being in that position.
Also, he’d prefer if you are extroverted. He struggles with talking or giving an opinion, so someone that can enhance communication will be great. Of course he’s a really observant god, but observing can take him only so far; a person that is willing to talk to him about everyday things or their problems will make him happy (though he doesn’t show it).
Not Ideal: secretive, complainer, weak-minded
Loki
I know he’s literally a shapeshifting god and he transformed into some pretty ugly things in the past, but he still has preferences in terms of looks. If you like piercings and tattoos he’d be very interested in you since he has several of his own. He also finds the grunge/goth look attractive. He loves beauty marks on his partner. But he’d hide that and tease you about them like a jerk. Also, the guy is a sucker for chubby cheeks. He’d be touching them every chance he gets. You feel like a stress ball sometimes.
He wants a partner in crime to pull pranks with and on. Someone that is creative, funny, and a tease. His family is literally full of straight faces; he wants someone that will laugh with him and talk with him about nonsensical ideas. A naturally curious person that will indulge in various ideas and hypotheticals will be perfect for him.
There needs to be something about you that is interesting. It could be intelligence, physical/mental strength, your way of thinking, how you dress, etc. Something that sets you apart from other people. If you are just a normal, everyday individual, he probably won’t give you a second glance. And no, being like the “quirky” girls on TikTok does not count.
Not Ideal: too quiet, serious, bland
Lu Bu
He’s drinking with his soldiers and they ask him in a drunk haze what his “ideal lover” would be. Lu Bu is honest and tells them he’s not interested in commiting to a relationship. He’s not going to date someone when he has the goal of being the strongest. He has one night stands to vent his frustrations and quench his boredom, but that’s the limit. He also deems it very unlikely for him to find love in this time period. Not that he really cares about those sort of things. Doesn’t really believe in true love either.
But low and behold, Lu Bu’s trustworthy strategist, Chen Gong, has spent many a night thinking about this very same topic. He’s deduced from observing his general’s personality and every day interactions that Lu Bu would be best compatible with a strong-minded, caring woman. He needs someone that can rile him up in all sorts of ways. Somehow, a woman that can make a smart remark every once in a while would be a nice change. Someone that has the courage to talk to him. His general hasn’t met a woman who sticks around after seeing his ferocity on the battlefield.
Chen Gong believes they have to be caring. Lu Bu is surrounded by bloodshed and war everyday. He feels that what his general needs the most in a partner is someone that is supportive and will let Lu Bu be vulnerable. Someone that will let Lu Bu relax after a long fought battle. Someone that will treat him like a human than worship or envy his strength.
(Chen Gong doesn’t know this, but Lu Bu finds it attractive when women eat a lot)
Not ideal (according to Chen Gong): cowardly, weak-minded, apathetic
Adam
He doesn’t care about looks. He’s the father of humanity, he loves every single type of person: tall or short, hairy or thin hair, big boobs no boobs, etc.
Ideally, Adam wants someone who has a motherly aura and has a kind and selfless heart. Someone who’s gentle and has a nurturing heart. Someone who shows gratitude and appreciation for what they are given.
Although he’s strong, he wants to be with a person that he can trust and rely on. Someone he can be vulnerable with. It will take time for him to warm up to you. He’d have to be sure that you are a good person and will confess to you once he’s gotten to know you for a long time.
Adam also likes to tease and play around sometimes behind closed doors, so he’d like it if you aren’t the most easily-offended person. He’d feel awful if he’s just lightly teasing you and you make a big deal out of it and ignore him.
Not ideal: self-centered, overreactor, untrustworthy
Sasaki
Like Lubu he strives for strength, but is more open to the idea of a relationship. When he was still alive, he’d daydream about having a lover beside him. They’d have the prettiest smile, and skin as smooth as the softened glass shards by the ocean shores. Somebody who’d accompany him on his journey, perhaps. Someone who possessed a voice of wisdom because he knows he isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.
Although he’d occasionally feel lonely camping alone in the forest, it really wasn’t on his to-do list to find a lover. He felt that the perfect person is the one who will see him for who he is and love him for it no matter what.
They need to be independent. Somebody that wouldn’t mind a long distance relationship. His travels might take 1-2 months, or maybe 6 months. He would occasionally show up at your house unannounced with a gift from his travels. If you try convince him to stay, he’d feel really guilty and might break up with you because you deserve somebody that doesn’t stress you out. But if you’re up for it, he wouldn’t mind taking you with him!
Not ideal: dependent, stability > taking risks
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