#rederiss

[kidspawn]

Thoughts on Zutara?

Ah. Zutara.

I have to be honest, I need to tread on careful ground here because the last time I spoke on Katara shipping wars I got, essentially, drawn and quartered on live TV. In fact, I think the person who went after me wanted to send me into the 50th Quarter Quell Hunger Games to watch me die slowly, brutally, and in 4k.

Yeah, so I ship Zutara! I actually quite enjoy it thematically, and I can't put my finger on what draws me to it. In terms of just... chemistry onscreen - there's a genuine draw those two characters have to each other, and much like every other ship in the fandom it has an appeal to me when written well.

What made you ship it?

I think there was a buildup to it I always found very appealing? I can't think of a major "clicking" moment, because I made a very notable effort to stay out of ATLA ship wars so I just never engaged in Zutara content? Then, once again, 2020 I rewatched it and I went... "Oh. I get it now." And I think the biggest moment for me is in "The Southern Raiders." I find them most interesting when they bring good things out in each other - Zuko, for instance, really recognizing what Katara needed in that moment and how to give that to her, was what really sold it to me? I'm not too into the "oh my god he's like with the fire nation and she's water tribe oooooooooooh" but I do enjoy it for when they make an effort to connect due to their similar past experiences with the Fire Nation. I think, at its base, I really enjoy it from a thematic and a technical standpoint - it's a well-contructed and logical ship, and I think from a storytelling perspective its the most interesting and fitting for the story's themes.

(Also the Netflix adaptation marketing and the actors have fantastic chemistry.)

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I mean, I am confident enough to admit it's got an edge to it I adore in the early seasons? I love ships with nuance and intrigue, and I'll be the first to admit that scenes like the necklace scene in book one is... wow. Yeah. I didn't even know drawings could have that much chemistry. What the hell. It's interesting to me. I like that it works alongside Zuko's conflict to become good? Like, a majority of the Book Two ending angst involved him rejecting the lifeline Katara was giving him, creating a sense of betrayal and hurt.

AND THEN the journey to healing that is so beautifully crafted, oh my god. Much like I enjoy Sokka not really handling Zuko with kiddie gloves and joking around with him, I love Katara calling him out and countering him every step of the way. I find it fascinating, because Katara is so fiercely loyal and devoted to the people she loves of course it'd take a lot to heal that hurt. So, Zuko really had to do something valuable and noteworthy to regain her trust - and that arc is literal perfection, in my opinion. When she hugs him at the end of "The Southern Raiders" I genuinely get chills. They manage to go from "I hate you you are everything I have been told to hate and/or fear and you are the representation of all my past traumas" to standing side by side in a fight against the person who has the deepest hurt aimed at Zuko? Like, they work alongside one another to heal and fight their deepest childhood hurts? Like...? Damn?

(I am also perfectly content with them remaining platonic, and I see a lot of value in their platonic relationship. Because that's usually where the appeal of Avatar lies to me - in the found family dynamic. But I enjoy this ship for its narrative relevance.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I enjoy it more in-universe than I do outside. Because thematically its beautifully written. I don't dabble much in alternate universe writing, but the canon development is the most appealing aspect of it for me. God I cannot stress how, from a storytelling perspective, it is fundamentally gorgeous. The dynamics of it are built from the original cartoon's story beats, and I just think it adds that extra oomph. That KAPOW. That WHAM.

send me a ship

[rederiss]

Now I’m in YOUR ask box to tell u that I think Jeremy Knox would love lorde. Especially melodrama , but all her albums really

Crazy how you mentioned Melodrama when Green Light and Liability is in my Jeremy Knox playlist. Speaking of Green Light, that song is in New Girl where two characters get together, and the WAY they get together is exactly how I want Jeremy and Jean to get together. (Iykyk, if you don’t know, then go watch it and you’ll see what I mean).

Listening to the whole album and it really shows the different parts of Jeremy pretty well imo. So, like fuck yes? Bet you weren’t expecting a yap session, but you’re getting one.

Green Light: This is a song about the desire to move on after a painful breakup, which instantly makes me think of Leo and how Jeremy keeps going back to him. The chorus itself is very much reflective of this. “Cause honey, I’ll come get my things, but I can’t let go/I’m waiting for it, that green light, I want it/Oh, I wish I could get my things and just let go/I’m waiting for it that green light, I want it”

Sober: Uh. (Coughs) This should be the song that plays during the orgy. I said it. Okay, seriously, this song is so sensual that I really think could apply for any of his hookups. “King and Queen of the weekend/Aint a pill that could touch our rush/When you dream with a fever/Bet you wish you could touch our rush” Then later with the outro “Midnight, we’re fadin’/Til daylight, we’re jaded/We know that it’s over/In the morning, you’ll be dancing with us” Crazy Crazy if this song was during that scene

Homemade Dynamite: This would be the song I’d suggest for Jeremy’s hookups. Also very sensual and kinda hot, if I do say so. This song goes very well with the whole “I’ve picked up more people at bars by having a lighter handy” line. Low-key the same exact vibes going on between those two songs.

SIDE NOTE: These three songs are insane together, and I am sure Lorde did that on purpose. Even putting Green Light in the mix really really shows a progression of Jeremy. Then you go to the next song, which… haha yeah..

Liability: The reason why I put this song on his playlist is because of how his family and his hookups make him feel. “They say, “You’re a little much for me/You’re a liability/You’re a little much for me”/ So they pull back, make other plans/ I understand, I’m a liability/ Get you wild, make you leave/I’m a little much for… everyone” Then the bridge immediately after the chorus “The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy/Til all of the tricks don’t work anymore/and they are bored of me” The chorus and the bridge just reflects what people are doing to Jeremy

Sober II: Dare I say, the aftermath when Jeremy finds out about Noah. While the first Sober feels like a high, this one feels like the come down of that. (Okay, so I listened to Sober first, then immediately went back to this song… Both songs fit pretty well with most likely the worst night Jeremy had in his life) Specifically, what gets me is the refrain in this song that feels so antagonistic to me “We told you this was melodrama/You wanted something that we offer” Over and over which can. Reflect the aftermath and him realizing what he just done.

Liability (Reprise): Was going to skip over this one, but god.. I fear this is Jeremy’s response to the original Liability.

Perfect Places: Dare I say, this gotta be a Jeremy Anthem (I got too many of those, but this is Lorde’s version) reminds me of his coping mechanism or his need to escape from his reality. “Every night, I love and die/Feel the party to my bones/Watch the wasters blow the speakers/Spill my guts breath the outdoor light/Its just another graceless night/I hate the headlines and the weather” While this song can apply to Jeremy’s old ways, I also think it applies to his current ways. The song as a whole is about escaping, which is what he does every time he has sex.

Unmentioned songs: The Louvre, Supercut, and Writer in the Dark. Still trying to make out these songs. I have thoughts what they could be in relation to Jeremy. They aren’t as glaringly obvious as the rest of the album. Supercut, I have the most thoughts on which could reflect his ideal relationship based on other relationships.

Obsessed with this album and you are correct, this is VERY Jeremy.

[jeanmoreau29-3]

Oh no I will forget a bunch of people

Repost or ill steal all of your eggs. I know how much you spent 😋

@zombiecowboy65 @dengansey @wherethemothsgrow @rederiss @300foxholecourtt @avalonjoan

 A friend threatened me to repost so I will!

Basically, there r tons of fake asses on tumblr who just want comments and followers, so someone started this to see who's actually a good friend. Everyone I tag better repost (and tag other people and preferably threaten them in a creative way as well) bc I'm high on caffeine and newfound lesbianism and will resort to violence.

@ey-theys-was-coronas

@fangirlhehe

I would tag more people but they're the only ones I've really interacted with-

[kidspawn]

You know what I find cute?

Blue and Gansey lowkey wear crazy clothes. Like you’re telling me Gansey willingly wore a salmon colored shirt and thought it looked good? My boy. At least Blue’s is cute, Gansey just has rich boy fashion blindness.

the thing is Blue wears the clothes and she makes them and they look good and they're quirky and weird in a stylish and fun way and Gansey's is because he genuinely thinks its cool and the boy wears boat shoes. Also, what fucking complexion does Gansey have that he can pull off salmon???? I'd put money on that colour washing him out. He doesn't even know his colour palette, that's the real crime here.

Blue, my love, probably knows her colours. Gansey wears orange and thinks his skin will retain any colour or vibrancy.

[kidspawn]

Hey so uh… I think Gansey needs a hug.

as long as it's not a kiss. I think the manuscript for The Raven King was titled "Gansey Needs A Hug" actually. Don't try and find a source, there is none I just know it's right. It's a hard knock life.

[jordiipordii]

THANK YOU! I just saw this! ✨

favorite color: turquoise 🩵

last song: pretty little poison by warren zeiders

currently reading: (rereading) fairytale by stephen king

currently watching: the last of us season 2

currently craving: singapore noodles

tea or coffee: neither, gimme lemonade

no pressure tags: @anxiouslyandmessily , @centaur-dreaming , @rederiss , @wherethemothsgrow

get to know your moots tag game!

✶ answer the questions, then tag six people

Thanks for the tag @kiraandhervibes

Favourite colour: blue and purple

Last song: the challenge from EPIC

Currently reading: I just started Silverborn

Currently watching: rewatching Series of Unfortunate Events

Currently craving: nothing in particular rn, but I’m always craving iced tea

Tea or coffee: tea!

Npt: @somanyquestions-featuringanxiety @shelbeforgotten @sparkleylittlepoo @stars-and-leather @ravensncrowsx @permetutotheworld + anyone else who wants to

[kidspawn]

I think I might have to bully Gansey for now on because WTF DO YOU MEAN HE KNEW THE WHOLE TIME???

Screw it. Gansey, count your days.

same energy, actually

[kidspawn]

I fear a Gansey crash out is coming..

and the fun part is that if (when) said crash out comes you know it'll be SOMETHING that's like seventeen years of someone bottling their screams of terror and frustration in a glass jar then dropping it on the floor to shatter everywhere and release all their anguish

[jeanmoreau29-3]

Eeee tysm for the tag<3

No pressure tags: @star-bursterr @zombiecowboy65 @riseriseleo @dengansey @loonytoonlou @rederiss

taking the cat picrew tag from @squintclover because I wanna play!!!

np tagging: @lynxindisguise, @faggylittleleatherboy, @kaleidoscopexsighs, @polaroidcats, @lifeisabitch-butimcute, @chericheribaby, @emlovessid, @fruityindividual and anyone else who wants to be a feline!!

[kidspawn]

Speaking on this prematurely.

Saw people talking about Declan and how they don’t like him until it gets to a certain point. Honestly, I am one who takes characters with a grain of salt, especially those i don’t often see. Declan is one of those characters I have thought about time to time, mostly because the more I learn about the Lynch’s the more I learn about Declan. Basically, I pity Declan Lynch.

It is said on paper that he is not the parents favorite, despite being the oldest son and being the enforcer of the will. Niall talks about Ronan’s birth as if it was everything to him, so that’s gotta mess with his head a little and make him resent Ronan, right? Then Matthew is Aurora’s favorite, and I know Declan still adored her, but at the end of the day, he isn’t a favorite. His father died, Aurora went to sleep. Suddenly, Declan is the enforcer of the will and the “man of the not so much of a house.” He has a younger brother who is highly defiant and does not listen to him. He has another younger brother who technically isn’t his brother. (I can go on analyzing why he decided not to tell Ronan until many years later about that one).

Declan is viewed as a jerk, and it makes sense why he is. I am sure he will do some not so great actions, but I do want to learn more about the lynch brothers. This is me saying that I’m not quick to judge Declan right now because he’s not seen often, and when he is seen, it’s through the unreliability and biases of Gansey, Adam, and Ronan… and we alll know those three boys are incredibly unreliable.

I knew I could trust you to have a nuanced Declan take. Oh my god. I am not shy about how much I love Declan - he's such an interesting character for me. Obviously, I say the Dreamer Trilogy really hones in on Declan's role in the family, and the interpersonal dynamics, and that's why I always stress that its crucial reading for understanding the Lynch family. (And Adam too, in my opinion) But the base series does plenty to imply Declan is not just this horrid asshole with a stick up his butt and a vendetta against Ronan's joy. He cares, he loves his family, he is in a situation no child should be faced with.

And The Dream Thieves solidified this for me, because the family dynamics really paint Declan out to be the family "unfavourite." And the more you learn about Declan, the more interesting he becomes. I think, besides the prologue (where Niall dismisses Declan blatantly and it's treated as normal), the scene between Declan and the Grey Man was the first where I went "oh, huh there's something up here." Because Declan, beaten and bloody and having just had his and his brother's lives threatened, immediately reaches out and calls Matthew. Calls Ronan. And there's more to the scene meant to establish that the biggest priority for Declan is his brothers. He keeps glancing at Matthew's bed throughout the scene, is obviously more thrown by his brother's being threatened, and the only time we see him legitimately distressed is when his brothers are in danger.

Another point I really need to make is how young Declan is book one? He's eighteen/nineteen book one, I believe. And he's essentially thrust into a caretaking role, navigating the underbelly of Niall's legacy and becomes enforcer of the will. He doesn't get a parent, and I don't think he's felt like he had one for quite some time. (Without spoiling TDT) The parentification of Declan Lynch, anyone? I have sympathy for Ronan and Matthew, but they both have someone who takes care of them. Literally and figuratively, they still have some semblance of a father/familial figure protecting them. And while they are absolutely grieving, and Ronan especially is having such a true-to-form response to loss, Declan is kind of... well, his grief is not discussed as often because it's not his perspective. Ronan and Gansey and Adam and Blue don't know what's in his head.

Which brings me to unreliable narrators. Because Ronan, obviously, won't have much good to say. Gansey is on Ronan's side, in Ronan's corner. Obviously he won't have much good to say. He's only heard Ronan's side of the story. His perspective is skewed to dislike or distrust Declan. A lot of what we hear about Declan is from Ronan or Gansey, who both actively have reasons to hold a grudge against Declan. (And Adam who wants to [redacted] i swear to god that boy needs to calm down) Your point on unreliable narrators is so intriguing, and its why the Declan/Grey Man parallels are so important because they provide so much nuance to Declan as a character. It's the closest we get to a neutral outside perspective of Declan as a character. Declan and Henry-

Anyway, this is as spoiler free as I can get. I am so so so excited for you to read the dreamer trilogy. I am not biased towards either series, but if I was it'd be TDT, because that book series does something to me.

ahhhhHHHH I can always trust you to have a good take on characters and their dynamics. Your brain is so lovely, please know. The yelp I yupt when I saw this.

[kidspawn]

So uh that Haikyuu art you reblogged… genuinely thought that was Kandriel art and now I’m realizing the parallels of these two fandoms and my mind is so blown that I might just have to rewatch Haikyuu.

Ok, I genuinely think Nora Sakavic is a Haikyuu, or at LEAST a sports anime fan. I could go into how paralleled the stories are: young redhead (ish?) joins scrappy, underdog team. Is short. (Has less bearing in AFTG, but the amount of short jokes is very in line with the Haikyuu! fandom mannerisms I've studied.) Absolutely devoted to the sport, to a point of obsession. It brings him a sense of purpose in an otherwise difficult point of of his life. He plays on a team of eccentric personalities, all with their conflicting needs and intricate backstories. INCLUDING the tall, dark-haired genius of the sport, who is so single-minded to the sport that he can come across as rude or harsh or just a full on asshole (he's just autistic), but the two have a long-standing history. The dark-haired prodigy pushes the protagonist to be better, while learning to build a sense of community and family alongside his rambunctious family. They both carry a tension with another, more severe, more prolific team. Dark past with another character on a rival team, and the game serves as a moment of validation and triumph for the previous traumas of dark-haired prodigy. Need I keep going? I could.

Anyway, from what I understand the first draft of AFTG was written in 1998, and as such she couldn't have based it off of Haikyuu! in any way, shape, or form. However I do think it's got a hefty dose of sports anime fanatic to it, the likes of Haikyuu or Kuroko no Basket or Blue Lock. Whether intentional or not, AFTG does read like a Haikyuu! mafia AU fanfiction written in 2020 during month three of the pandemic. Slow burn, high stakes, dead dove do not eat.

[kidspawn]

This is just to piggy back what you were saying about “depending on where you start the story” because I do heavily agree with you.

Because we started from the beginning, it seems to us that Gansey is the main one strong holding everything. He’s the one taking all of them to caves and through the forest to find Glendower. So people like Maura or Blue or even his friends will say that he is the leader of the group. There is truth behind that, but when you enter a new character, that perspective shifts.

Mr. Gray is a great example of this. He enters into the narrative in book two, but does not truly see the dynamics of the group until book three, which is where Adam has the most control over his abilities, he’s the one calling the shots, and he’s the one who blackmails people. He makes plans while Gansey is becoming split off. He begins to focus more on Blue, and Blue becomes more focused on trying to find her mother.

Someone else said that Mr. Gray sees himself in Adam, which would also contribute to how he views the group dynamic.

Adam and Gansey are becoming more like equals in my mind where they both are actively produce plans, and I would say Adam is definitely the most strategic of the two, despite him having unhinged thoughts like… idk killing an orphan girl then realizing that its wrong to do that and deciding to take her to cabeswter. (Adam, I love you babes… but wtf?)

And depending on how you look at it, Blue may actually have the most influence out of the group (including Noah… and btw I do know what happens to him. Im ignoring it lmao). The reason why I say that is because all of the boys flock to her, even Adam who is a little pissy with her where I am at. So, it can look like she’s the main in the group.

In reality, this just means the group doesn’t have a “main.” They are their individual fluid units that shift when they need to. There is not one person who hangs back, which is the point of multiple narrations in this series so far.

The most fascinating aspect of TRC from a structural standpoint is how the story is poised in a way that allows any of the gangsey to be the main character. (With the exception of Ronan, though I think you could argue Ronan is more important but I can't recall if you've gotten there yet...?) Like, Glendower really is the friends we make along the way? It's such a well-built ensemble, because I don't think people are used to an ensemble dividing the focus so evenly.

Compare, and this is not me taking shots by any means, TRC to other ensemble works. This may seem a bizarre comparison but like... Voltron is one that springs to mind. It's an ensemble cast, but there's blatant narrative weight in several of the characters which makes the overall ensemble feel unbalanced. You can see which stories had more care and heart put behind them, which is why you have some phenomenal character development and some genuinely weak and, frankly, offensive character dismissal. I won't make you sit through my VLD spiel, but the comparison I make here is that there was an intent to make the ensemble balanced, but there were blatant favourites. The Raven Cycle, while some of the characters are maybe the author darling, is very adept at balancing their arcs in a way where each character has a full breadth of personality and nuances.

And it's in the way each of the books focuses so specifically on building each of the character's individual powers (TRB-Adam, TDT-Ronan, BLLB-Blue, TRK-Gansey) and their individual arcs. Each of these books really grants the agency to one character in particular and it means, if you center your discussion on that book and character, you really could make a case that one character is shifting the narrative. But you'd have to ignore the influence of the others. I do not think you could remove a character and the story would work, and that is very rare for an ensemble.

And the Grey Man, seeing bits of himself in Adam, would focus the story on Adam. Much like Blue or the women at Fox Way would focus the story on Gansey. Because it's common for a reader to focus on a different part of the story and latch onto it due to their personal bias. I relate to Adam, so I tend to view a lot of his actions as dominant in the narrative. Gansey is the focus for the women of Fox Way because this is their introduction to the group, and his "prophecy" is one of the first things they learn about him. Blue is the focal point of the story, of the boy's powers, and she holds narrative weight for this reason. I think Blue has the most claim to the "main main character" title, but even that doesn't work. As a character, she's an amplifier. (I could also go on about how her being there to uplift the other characters is commentary on female protagonists and I think Blue being a girl is opportunity for a critical read on how women in YA are handled ahem but that's for another day) The other characters would not become themselves without Blue. And, Gansey wouldn't be here without Noah. Adam would not be here without Gansey. Ronan would not be here without Gansey. Blue would not be here without Adam. Henry would not be here without Gansey. Ronan and Adam would not come into themselves without one another. Blue and Gansey would not reach character growth without one another. Blue would not have tapped into her potential without Noah. I could go on and on and on. I could even make a case for Henry wielding the narrative. BUT I'LL WAIT.

My point is, the biggest appeal of the character work in The Raven Cycle is not only how well-balanced the ensemble is, its masterfully shifted in its character perspectives and each character contributes to the other's main arc. This story would not have happened and would not have worked if this group of people had not met at this specific point in time and in this specific order.

[kidspawn]

Oikawa is such a compelling character to watch

Oikawa Tooru has such a precious place in my heart. There is so much complexity to even his most simple of actions, and there's so much to discern from the clues we're given. His relationship with volleyball, with success, with Kageyama, all all all of the elements that craft his motivations and his character and his career. He is so in love with volleyball, with the sport, with being the very best. And his relationship with Kageyama is such a complex piece of that puzzle. I could go on. I will. (I NEVER get to talk about Haikyuu characters. Seriously, give me any character I'm ready with an essay.) (I cannot WAIT until you meet Akaashi and Bokuto omg)

Oikawa is a character i think works as a foil for so many individuals, like. Kageyama, Hinata, Suga, Ushiwaka. The writing is so clever because it allows for so many applications. He is positioned as the ultimate foil, and many mistake that for the ultimate antagonist? (Though he does serve an antagonistic role! I will say!) And this is so fun because I'd argue Oikawa is one of the most polarizing characters in the show - which stands out because Haikyuu!! notoriously has a universally likable cast!

So, Oikawa can be summed up in his two quotes: "Talent is something you make bloom, instinct is something you polish." And it brings forward this concept of, skill versus talent. And while Kageyama is certainly talented AND skilled (he works his ass off), Oikawa is really poised as someone who took what should've been insignificant talent and polished it into fine tuned skill. And so he's a force on the court as a product of his own blood, sweat, and tears. His skill is wholeheartedly a product of his passion and drive. And it makes him hold a grudge against those he sees as naturally talented. Because if someone like Kageyama works as hard as him, there's nothing he feels he can do. (Hinata is actually very similar to Oikawa in this regard, and why their friendship is so significant imo.)

(So the whole Kageyama conflict (when you get there, lmk) is honestly way blown out of proportion imo. I'll elaborate when you get that far. I do think Oikawa being painted as a villain on the level of Sukuna is fucking hilarious though. Light Yagami? Nah this gay ass high school volleyball player is who you watch out for)

Also, "if you're going to hit it, hit it until it breaks" speaks to Oikawa'a drive. He doesn't stop, he doesn't leave any room to bend. He will snap and crack and push the limits. He's unyielding and forceful and he pushes himself UNTIL HE BREAKS. It's implied he's been injured because of how hard he works (not his knee, I believe it was actually his ankle! but as a player who injured my knee beyond repair it hit a special spot in my heart tbh) I think fandom can dramatize Oikawa's self destructive tendencies, as fandoms do, but its important to note this is rooted in onscreen evidence! And its a drive borne of passion for a sport he finds joy in. And any further Oikawa analysis requires you finishing the anime so I won't start now. But Oikawa, to me, is the definition of the long haul. The long term plan. He made the decision to bide his time, and it lent itself to his success. He didn't rely solely on talent, he focused on skill and THAT is what carries him to the finish line.

Also, he's kind of an asshole. And just a goofy little guy. With insane aura, as the kids say. I remember watching Haikyuu with my former friend, and she had said, essentially, that she hated Oikawa and didn't understand why he was in my top five characters. Now, we were high off our asses when this happened, but god i remember he came on screen during season two for like... five seconds, and we both just... stilled. stared. went dead fucking silent. His gravitational pull is insane. God, Oikawa is a force of nature of his own creation and I find that endlessly fascinating.

(an image that haunted me for so damn long. if im engaging in haikyuu fandom again im using gifs. obviously. haikyuu editors are unparalleled. backbone of the community.)

[kidspawn]

Hello hi! Kinda love Daichi. He’s such a great character. Hinata is a cutie patootie. Sugawara :) :) he’s just a guy. 15 episodes in rivht now and honestly I forgot majority of what happens. The rivalries are great though especially with the mutual respect that’s happening with Nekomora.

I got nothing really more interesting to say, just that I forgot how good this anime is

SO OKAY. FUN FACT. (God the Haikyuu brainrot is setting in I can feel it.) Please stick with me this is so funny to me. My ex friend and I met through anime, Jujutsu Kaisen specifically, and then we both just stumbled upon watching Blue Lock at the same time and we kept texting. And I offhandedly mentioned, "Oh yeah Blue Lock is good but it's not Haikyuu." They insisted nothing would be as good as Blue Lock. I convinced them to watch the first few episodes, just to take a shot. I gave them my whole pitch, emphasized how it's such a feel good anime and prominent example of genuinely healthy boyhood and adolescence. How it's got shockingly nuanced and three dimensional characters (none of the "antagonists" are villains, as much as Oikawa wins the villain polls. they all have sympathetic qualities.) I went on. And on. And on. When I'm done, they say:

"Oh. I'll check it out. I heard people died in this show."

I'm confused. Baffled. Horrified. Who dies in Haikyuu!!??? What the fuck? I scrounge my mind, my soul. What does this mean.

Then it clicks.

Fucking Deadchi.

The Haikyuu meme of this fucking panel.

It broke containment.

How did my chronically offline new friend learn about Deadchi? This was a meme I heard about in middle school in the recesses of the Haikyuu tag. It's haunted me to this very day.

Anyway, the point I'm making is I think about Deadchi every fucking day. Don't worry, he isn't actually dead. I don't think this counts as a spoiler. The only death that occurs is the death of Daichi's will to live as he attempts to wrangle this herd of rabid hamsters with enough energy to power Microsoft headquarters. The point is, if Daichi did die at least he could fucking rest. I love him.

FURTHERMORE

I love Sugawara. My beloved. When you get far enough allow me to preach the way the Sugawara/Kageyama/Oikawa situation is handled. Suga is such a perfect blend of loving and chaotic, balances this emotional maturity and self awareness alongside a mischievous disposition. He's soooo trggtrh Suga's definitely a top five character for me. Behind the others only because he's objectively a side character, but once again the delight of Haikyuu is how well-rounded the side characters are.

(oooooo nekomanekomanekoma-)

Anyway, so as to avoid bogging you down with any further Haikyuu ramblings, please know I'm ecstatic you're revisiting the Haikyuu magic. These may be the most characters of all all time. I cannot think of a single character I don't adore here.

[kidspawn]

Back again because I’m crashing the fuck out. I went THREE BOOKS. THreE BOOKS thinking he didn’t know what it meant when he heard his voice on the recording. THREE! Then i find out that he knew! THAT HE KNEW THE WHOLE TIME.

Genuinely can’t even read the next chapter because I’m so angry at this guy. DICK GANSEY THE THIRD! Count your days…

OH YOU'RE IN THE HOME STRETCH NOW

BECAUSE, GANSEY BOY, WE'VE BUILT TRUST??? COMRADERIE??? YOU SPEND THREE BOOKS IN THIS BOY'S HEAD AND THIS IS THE THANKS YOU GET?? Most valid crashout ever. I love this book.

[kidspawn]

Hi it seems i am in your asks once more but I do have a legit question: You mentioned parts of your personality are taken from the characters in TRC, but who would you say you relate to the most? Why? If you can’t choose or have more than one, then why each of them?

Ooh wow this is a really interesting question wowowow. Yeah, I mean, I think that's a common sentiment among fans of the series I've noticed, because the characters are so multifaceted and feel so human. And so it's definitely easy to latch onto the characters and project parts of your personality onto them (as with more fictional characters, but TRC characters are sooooorhjerjejej) and discover a lot about yourself through your exploration of these characters. I think, especially over the last year, I really latched onto them to help me make sense of the place I'm in in life? I tried to keep this more character-analytical with a personal flair and got carried away, so please forgive the word count.

I take bits from each of the characters, of course. Blue, with her independence and her desire for freedoms and her confidence in identity as it grapples with how valuable she is to others. Gansey, with his boundless anxieties and his propensity to needing to behave more grown up and his "unerring weapons of destruction" in the form of words. (There is something to say about how I resonate with Gansey when it comes to presenting different sides of yourself to your friends and not having anyone to be yourself with.) Noah, who I have such a soft spot for because I know how it feels to feel like you are less than you used to be, and to fear being forgotten and ignored.

However, to segue, I had someone recently say: "I don't know, but there's something very pynch about you." Well, whatever the fuck that means. Did not clarify if that was a compliment, and the person it came from could have MEANT IT EITHER WAY. Anyway:

Adam motherfucking Parrish. I don't think I'm subtle about my fondness for Adam. My connection to this character really boils down to more extrinsic parts of my life (my relationship with college, school, work, my intricate and endless parental issues, the constant survival mode draining you) and how I process my place in the world. Which, and pardon me if I vent a bit here, but the idea of being lonesome is one I've felt for quite a substantial part of my life. And I don't resent it, nor do I see it as a bad thing. I am very good at being alone, being singular, and while that does make me feel lonely sometimes, it also means I'm very established in myself and my company and being my own person. Another thing I resonate with deeply in Adam. I see a lot of discussion over how Adam is "too stubborn" or just needs to "accept some help already" and I can't help but feel that comes from people who don't understand that some people have been raised to believe everything in life is transactional. Or, more so, that accepting help and charity from others often leads to them holding something over you. Or it gives them leverage on you. Or, really, they own a part of your success and comfort. There's a part of Adam that values his autonomy, how he has worked for what he's got, and I know how important that feeling is. To be honest, every personal issue I've ever had, I've always had the comfort of knowing I worked for what I have, where I am, and everything I ever will have. I am also very aware this is not the best mindset, to buckle down and refuse help from anyone, but that's also a product of not ever being proven wrong that people want to lord something over you when anything in your relationship goes wrong. I could go on and on about how Adam's relationship with his parents and his autonomy are always deeply personal to me. I guess I feel a sense of alienation and loneliness and being utterly unworthy or even capable of love on the level other people are, and that's a very early-Adam sentiment that hit close to home. Also, the theme of his not becoming his parents haunts me on a near daily basis and his arc in The Dream Thieves is sjbejjdjsjdwjje. As a side note, I also find the way he thinks and processes information and the people around synchronous with my thought processes. I'm largely analytical and methodical.

I'll also say, from a pure storytelling standpoint, Adam's journey in The Dreamer Trilogy (spoiler free as well as I can manage) demolished me because that's almost exactly what I've been coping with the last year or so. "I made a plan. I had a way out. I got it. This is not what I want. I am unhappy and don't know who I am and keep making parts of myself up to try and find it." There's a reason TDT is so valuable to me. I resonate with Adam's personal journey and his approach to his self identity, I'm just REALLY funny about it, because that's how I cope.

Speaking of being funny about it, it took me years to admit how much I related to Ronan. I know I just went off about Adam, but I've gotten the Adam comparisons a lot. It just makes sense to point out. Ronan, however, really drives home a very raw and emotional aspect to me, and it was one I didn't recognize until like... well like until I got hit with a particularly brutal depressive episode and spiraled to rock bottom. I realized a few months ago, in an incredibly dark place I don't take pride in dwelling in, that I was deeply unhappy with where I was in life. I remember just laying in my bed and staring at the ceiling and wondering what the point of anything was. I felt very empty, and gaping, and full of desire for something and I had no clue what it was. I would just tie this up neatly and say that I was Ronan's age while reading The Raven Cycle, and Ronan's age reading The Dreamer Trilogy and his mental health was almost beat for beat my own internal monologue and that was a very uncomfortable place for me to be, frankly. Ronan's mental health journey is so beautiful and intricate and complex and RAW. Like, wholeheartedly one of the best depictions of early adult malaise.

Anyway, let me direct your attention to this quote that has been a pervasive mantra in my life since I was blessed enough to read it: "calm down, Ronan, stop being needy, Ronan, get yourself together, Ronan, you're always the car crash, Ronan". Changed lives, actually. My life. Because what THE FUCK was that. I think there's an emotional intensity to Ronan I deeply feel in myself, and a tendency to feel everything at such an all-consuming level it bleeds onto others and it feels like too much. That idea of being needy, being out of control, of breaking everything, of existing and loving and causing grievance by being that way. And you cant change it, you can't do much to alter it, all you can do is find people who understand it and appreciate it. It's a very othering feeling, for lack of more sufficient terminology.

And I think this translates to how Ronan loves. And let me say, while I have the floor, seeing people APPRECIATE how Ronan is with people he cares about has been incredibly healing. I acknowledge that my approach to friendship (and relationships but I wont focus on that too long) which is with a single minded focus and relative intensity, is not the kind of friendship people enjoy (i was very kindly reminded of this not too long ago) nor do they want to be around it. Because Ronan throws himself into his friendships and his loves and his passions, and when he actually cares it is with such an intensity I remember reading it and just going "oh ok this isn't weird this is normal" because... I don't know. There's something very disorienting about viewing friendship (and i keep a very small but very close circle) and relationships as something worth protecting and preserving and not having that met in equal measure. It's such a beautiful trait of Ronan's and in a very roundabout way reading how he loves, is rewarded for how much he loves, and continues to love in such an earnest and shameless way is very healing for me. I've said time and time again that my favourite thing about Ronan is how he loves. I think it's easy to assume Ronan is all "pshaw, fuck everything" but at his core he is a kid who feels a lot and has been punished by the world for how and who he loves, and has been through tremendous loss and grief. Also, maybe the possessiveness upon which he approaches his circle rings a little true who knows. (I may or may not have been given the designated dog motifs and guess what I don't care i think it's funny). This is all too say, I've definitely had more therapy than Ronan does and I think I'm a lot healthier with my expression here than Ronan but uhhh yeah.

Side note that while my relationship with religion is not in any way the same as Ronan's, I do navigate a comfort and solice in my dalliance with catholicism. Here's another Ronan quote that hit close to home omg:

"Ronan gave in to the brief privilege of hating himself, as he always did in church. There was something satisfying about acknowledging this hatred, something relieving about this little present he allowed himself each Sunday."

Idk idk I don't view religion as a reason to hate myself but I definitely see it as an outlet. It's a complex little thing that brings me comfort. Idk i love Ronan's relationship with religion.

Anyway, I digress on the Ronan love. I think on artificial and intricate levels I resonate with Ronan and that has been a journey of self acceptance and acknowledging parts of myself I deeply dislike or carry shame towards. Or whatever. That could mean nothing. I also think driving someone's car is a very intimate act though that's very series-compliant and less a Ronan thing. Also miscellaneous habits and beliefs of his that upon my reread made me swear out loud because fuck writing "Ronan Lynch" on my list of characters who define me WASNT PART OF MY 2025 PLAN.

Anyway, to veer hard left to Henry fucking Cheng. This will be brief because I was never involved in the mafia. (As far as I know?) Nor was I ever held for ransom. No, but I heavily relate to Henry's brand of yearning for understanding, companionship, and the ability to express oneself in a sincere way. Henry Cheng I fucking love you. I cannot verbally express how much his "overfull on secrets and underfull on friends" sentence warped me. I will write him into everything I can because he deserves genuine friendship.

Alright alright alright this was a whole more than I intended. I wish I could apologize but I won't because it gave me the opportunity to ramble about Ronan, who metaphorically came up behind me and beat me over the head with his themes of growing up and grappling with your identity. Most character of all time. Also I got to talk about Henry a bit. And Adam, who I love. Which should've been the first sign I was Ronan aligned.

ANYWAY YOU SHOULD DO THIS EXACT THING BECAUSE I YEARN TO KNOW. Actually, if you read this (anyone I mean it) please drop an essay on the characters you relate to and why. OK, bye.