#like they spent their whole
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incredubious · 5 months ago
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MODERN AU ACESAN !!!! first impressions with a guy who barely passes the No Shoes No Shirt No Service rule
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rapidhighway · 10 days ago
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the thing that caused me so much grief last night but now i feel better about it fdnghgdfggd
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ditzybat · 5 months ago
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tim drake is the type of guy to drop random lore then walk away.
tim: ugh i hate baseball, it’s like, when you have to play it in order to save a whole planet once, every game after seem boring
dick: that’s not…
tim: only downside to that was how we almost totaled barts brand new spaceship
dick: what spaceship??
tim: oh, hi mom
shiva: hello timothy, how are you? still keeping up with your training i take it?
bruce: mother? she’s not your —
shiva: let’s spar then timothy, let’s leave it strictly non lasting injuries, i don’t rather feel like dying by your hand again today
tim: of course!! ^-^
bruce: again?
tim: man i forgot to take my meds again
duke: your meds for what?
tim: i have no spleen, so i have to take probiotics, it really is manageable but i dont know where those pills went
duke: i’m almost scared to ask, tim, how did you lose your spleen?
tim: weird spider dude, it was a whole thing
tim: you talk a lot of shit for someone who got replaced as heir to your immortal grandfathers empire by me
damian: you what!?
tim: i regularly beat his ass at online chess every week too, and i don’t think you’ve seen him since he stole your corpse
tim: here
jason: what’s this?
tim: a box of all the photos i took when i obsessively stalked you for your entire tenure as robin
jason: thanks?
tim: you’re welcome, bye!
jason: … creepy ass kid…
steph: so how did you to get together?
bernard: well —
tim: i saved him from a getting cut open by chaos monster cult members
bernard: yep, i was rescued from being a vessel for a greek god, and we just really clicked afterwards
steph: well, it’s better than the brick
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bloodsbane · 1 month ago
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silly guys
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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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mintbees · 7 months ago
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One thing that keeps confusing me is that they claim ghost files costs several hundreds of thousands of dollars per season. I’ve tried to wrap my head around this ever since the announcement because flying a crew of 6 or so people out for two days and renting out the location COULD NOT be costing that much unless they’re either lying or blowing money on first class flights and expensive food/accommodations and even THEN do I not see them breaking 100k on a single episode. Dear lord hire an accountant I’m half convinced someone’s laundering money
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iielenia · 6 months ago
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kuroo redraw bc i can't get him outta my head
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linkeduniverse · 1 year ago
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July art
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starlitmeadows · 5 months ago
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family sketches
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hinamie · 2 months ago
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the sirens are turning red
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theminecraftbee · 7 months ago
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IN CELEBRATION OF XISUMA IN MCC: one of my favorite xisuma clips of all time. "i made bedwars :(". important additional knowledge: they then proceeded to suck ass so badly. and this is also after they had already sucked so badly,
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bunnieswithknives · 23 days ago
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Thanks.
Prev
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sbeana · 2 years ago
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the pool scene
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pasharuu · 1 year ago
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both of us already know who it is
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fish stealing incident
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applestruda · 1 year ago
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Summer, Spring, Autumn, and Winter
(Aka hermit ladys as mucha's four seasons for week 3 of the design challenge)
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ruporas · 1 year ago
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the blank ticket in your hand is just waiting to be filled in.
happy birthday vash! (ID in alt text)
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