#like they deserve to get good money for all that they do because they make GREAT content for us

[anna-pineappel]

This has been sitting in my Tumblr Drafts for a while, and I'm finally putting my thoughts in on this. Fair warning: this is going to be a long rant of a post, sorry not sorry!

I will NEVER write fanfic for financial gain! Obviously, with fanfiction, I don't own the characters/setting/Source Material, so it would not be wise to put my work behind a paywall. I do have some OC writing content, I was getting back into it earlier this year, then Peace in the Moonlight's prequel, Terror in the Shadows entered the chat and I am now high off of my Crackship StettiHo 😅 ANYWAYS... even if I ever got to the point where I wanted to 'Publish' my OC writing, I would do so on AO3/Tumblr/Google Drive PDF... where no money would be exchanged. I've been told I have potential to write professionally, and while it is very validating and flattering, it is not something I'm interested in, for a number of reasons:

Anytime I decide to make money off a creative endeavor, I almost immediately lose interest in that endeavor. I love writing fanfiction and posting it up on AO3, absolutely. HOWEVER, the moment I write for money and then feel Obligated to do so, I will never write again. This is just how I am.

With money on the table, I feel pressure to perform to standards set out by the person paying me. I will set impossibly high standards for myself and feel like it isn't good enough.

Or I'll feel like I can't write the story I want to, since someone else is dictating the content (i.e. they want a certain pairing, certain characters to be featured). I also feel safe pushing my own comfort levels within my writing when I'm writing for free. (I have learned wayyyyy to much about BDSM practices, the Gestapo/SS... it's a wild ride, okay??)

Life is expensive as is/capitalism/monetizing everything = blegh! I want people to be able to access my writing without having to pay for it. I write because I enjoy it, and it's a piece of my soul I'm baring to the world. You shouldn't have to pay for that!

If you feel compelled to donate money to me/you feel l deserve to be compensated for my writing (or any other writer), may I suggest donating to AO3 instead? It's sites like that that allow me and other writers to share writing in the first place and they are completely run by volunteers! Also, my favourite currency is in the form of kudos and comments... THAT'S ALL I NEED!!!!

Even if you ever did pay me for my writing, somehow, I would just turn around and throw the money at AO3.

Oh and if you're a writer who thinks they deserve to be compensated for writing/have exclusive fics under a paywall/what have you... SO MUCH OF LIFE IS ALREADY MONETIZED... WE DON'T NEED FANFIC WRITING TO BE ONE OF THOSE THINGS!!!!

The rest of the thread is here.

tl;dr: Don’t monetize AO3, kids.  You won’t like what happens next.

[doeidawn]

18+ MDNI

something something john price getting talked into coming to some fancy party held by some big name contractors and PMCs. he'd literally rather be dead than stand any longer in a suit and force himself to make eye contact with people who cared more about paying for warfare than the cost of lives.

cut to him spotting you somewhere across the way, dressed up nice and tensing your shoulder with every tight-lipped smile that he recognizes oh so well as a forced attempt at politeness. he doesn't recognize you, but you sure know his face well; the infamous john price, known for doing the dirty work no one else will touch.

quickly you find out you were both victim to laswell's "connections are good, try to mingle" speech. and after two glasses of champagne more expensive than your rent and debating which contractor had the biggest price on their head, he's walking you out to your car in a feigned attempt at propriety. it was as good an excuse as any to get out of the stuffy room. but, more importantly to him it seemed, it was an excuse to keep talking to you.

and something something he nearly pops your arm out of socket dragging you into the backseat of the car. hugging you against his chest, heavy hands on your hips while he grinds against you. he's hot and sweaty and too damn impatient. pawing at your clothing, greedy to feel every part of you he can manage. helping you hold steady while you sink onto his thick and eager cock.

he's fucking up into you before you're ready to take it because he just can't stop himself. all frustration and pent-up energy, desperate to feel some control again, his fingers dig into the fat of your hips while he bullies his cock deeper and deeper. the car's rocking with each thrust but neither of you care. it's so hot and the air is thick and heavy and you're both sweating but it feels so damn good that neither of you want to stop.

when he's finally done—having spilt such a pent-up and thick load inside you that you can already feel it starting to trickle out of you—he's promising to be a bit more romantic next time, take it slower and work you up with his mouth like you really deserve. consider it a thanks for letting him blow off some steam. maybe he even gives you some money for the mess and hassle, suggesting it go towards investment for tinted windows.

[gothamite-rambler]

"Not those photos!"

Context: Bruce Wayne and Barbara Gordon were busy discussing Barbara's pay raise in Bruce's kitchen. Why? Because Babs has earned and deserves more money!

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the room, mingling with the faint scent of pastries from the bakery down the street. Barbara rested her arms on the kitchen table her expression a mix of frustration and determination as she detailed her why after working for the man for decades she needed more money. She did work a job outside of hero work, but dang a girl needs extra disposable income.

Bruce, pouring himself a cup, listened thoughtfully, occasionally nodding in acknowledgment but aware that this conversation was more about establishing boundaries than just salary figures. In the back of his mind, he couldn't help but admire her resilience, knowing that her contributions were invaluable—yet the negotiation price was a bit steep even for him.

Barbara (determined): I'm telling you, I should be making 80k annually for all the work I do—both as Oracle and your second assistant. Dick should not be making more than me!

Bruce (reasoning): He's my son. I pay all my kids well—even Damian. But not Tim.

Barbara (raising an eyebrow, smirking): Of course you’ll help the men over—

Bruce (shutting that down): Don't do that. I pay Cass the same amount as Jason.

Barbara (incredulous): Since when?!

Bruce (nonchalantly): Last year. She earned it. Babs, while I agree you deserve a pay raise, twenty thousand a month is pushing it. What would you even need that much money for?

Barbara (enthusiastically): Fun stuff! I like to live. I mean, obviously, I’m a smart woman; not all of it will be wasted every month. But sometimes, I pass by a store and see those new heels. Dang it, wheelchair-bound or not, my feet need to be wearing cute pinchy shoes! What does Dick need ten thousand for?

Bruce (rolling his eyes): Apparently, he uses it to 'keep the lights' on at the tower, treat his friends to dinner, pay for dance classes, sonic and spongebob merch... I hate those shows so much and… trips with Kori that I don’t like to think about.

Barbara (raising her voice to get her point across): Mostly frivolous garbage. Why can't I get frivolous garbage spending money?! Women want stupid things too!

Barbara pounded her fist on the table for emphasis, while Bruce sighed and closed his eyes, clearly exhausted.

Bruce (pausing, thinking): Okay, fair enough I will agree that people like to buy dumb stuff, but I... give me a second to think of a reason. It slipped my mind for a second.

Barbara (sly smile): All right, if you don’t consider paying me ten thousand a month—this way, me and your son get the same amount— I will upload the photos of you from the Christmas photoshoot in '97.

Bruce's eyes widened, his usual stoic expression changing to one of rising panic.

Bruce (panic-stricken): Don't do that! I won’t be able to live it down.

Barbara crossed her arms with a defiant smile.

Barbara (clapping for emphasis at the start of talking): Either ten thousand, or all of Gotham will have another reason to send you dirty, thirst tweets and messages.

Bruce (desperate): You wouldn’t? There’s no way you still have those photos.

Barbara (playfully): I have them saved in a custom folder for blackmail in situations like this. It would be such a shame if Gotham citizens saw you posing like you did. Tick tock, detective.

Bruce sighed, defeated, covering his blushing face. After a moment of silent reflection, he meekly spoke.

Bruce (reluctantly): Ten thousand it is. I’ll get the paperwork ready tomorrow.

Barbara (satisfied): Glad we came to an agreement.

Bruce (sighing): Yeah, whatever. Are we done?

Barbara (nods): Mm-hm.

Bruce (playfully): Good, and don’t talk like Jason!

Barbara (mocking tone): It's a catchy phrase, Master Detective.

Bruce groaned, but after a moment, a small smile formed on his lips, appreciating the friendship he still shared with Barbara.

Bruce (genuinely): I do have to admit, I've always admired your intellect. It's close to mine—almost.

Barbara (rolling past him in her wheelchair): Just without the intense trauma. Mine is regular trauma.

Bruce (defensively): Hey, it builds character.

Barbara (light-hearted): Whatever you have to say to give yourself reassurance, buddy.

[annakaspring]

Officially the longest rant I've ever posted

Snater mauraders fans literally being the most shallow people on earth.

I will see them saying Snape deserved to be targeted and bullied. And the reason is always the same.

"he was creepy" how was he creepy? "He was obsessed with Lily and possessive of her."

oh, you mean like how James threatened to physically assault Lily if she didn't go on a date with him while simultaneously bullying her friend? While Severus did as Lily asked and left her alone when she said their friendship was over.

"He was racist." No, comparing the word mudblood a fictional slur to a real life racial slur is so ignorant, problematic and also completely disregards that there could be actual racism in the Harry Potter universe. And Snape is not a pureblood in fact he is way more muggle born than half blood as he grew up in a muggle neighborhood, wearing muggle clothes. Is what Snape called Lily right? No. could she have still been hurt? Yes. But I see the same people who bash Snape, Stan Malfoy who is canonically a pureblood who hates muggle-borns. Like be so for fucking for real rn.

"He was a nazi" Again, comparing a fictional "cult" to real life devastating history is ignorant and frankly ridiculous. But let's just humor that idea for a moment. Then why do I see maurader fans idolizing characters like Barry Crouch Jr? Or Regulus Black? Who not only joined the death eaters just like Severus did but were privileged purebloods who unlike Severus had money, a proper home, family. And in Barty Jr's case he is literally canonically evil.

"He was a bully." So was James, so was Sirius.And both James and Sirius are canonically described as being obviously well loved and privileged while Snape "so obviously lacked" that. Severus had reasons to be cold, stand offish and rude. had a terrible home life, neglectful if not straight up abusive parents, a single friend, depressed and was poor. What was James's excuse?

And I will see ppl who loooove Draco Malfoy yet despise Snape. Draco Malfoy, who is repeatedly voiced his pureblood prejudice so much as saying he wished death upon Hermione Granger simply for her blood status, was a HUGE bully, surely bigger than Snape ever was if he did ever bully (he didn't). Severus Snape used a slur once, once when he was a child while he was being SA'd and regretted it so much he never used the word again. While Draco literally never even apologized for his fanatical white supremacist behavior. "Well he didn't want to kill Dumbledore" I'm sorry but being too cowardly to kill someone does not equal being a good person.

"Oh well they changed, they grew up and became better." Did they? Where's the proof? Where's the evidence? I never saw Sirius own up to his actions. Remus still excused his friends bullying. "Well actually Draco actually liked Hermione the whole time. And that's why he was so mean to her" So? If anything that makes even worse. If a guy wished me dead, was openly vile to I wouldn’t suddenly be okay with it because he was actually attracted to me the whole time.

So what arguments do the Snaters have left?

Nothing, absolutely zero justification other than shallow, half baked reasons.

Severus Snape commits the most unforgivable sin. Being poor, morally grey AND ugly.

Because being poor can be forgiven as long as you're hot i.e Remus Lupin. But forbid they actually show signs of their class. Being malnourished, having hand me clothes, not being able to have proper hygiene. These are all things that actually happen to severely lower class individuals. Being a pureblood snob can be forgiven as long as you're hot. Being actually evil with zero justification is forgiven as long as you're hot.

People will twist and headcanon characters we get two pages of information on into fully fleshed out people with intricate backstories and believable justification for all their evil behavior.

Meanwhile bashing Snape who is one the most complex, dark, interesting character in the series. All because Snape is "ugly".

Because god forbid a character does not fit their rigid beauty standards and is actually complex and human.

And we're not gonna get into how literally not once was Snape ever explicitly described as ugly or how Draco Malfoy in the books described as having a pointed, rat like face.

And just to clarity I'm not trying yuck anybody's yum. Love the characters you love, stan evil ones, ship all the characters you want. I do! I ship character who make absolutely no sense in canon. create intricate stories for background characters all you want That's what fandom is all about. But don't act you have an actual reason for hating Snape while simultaneously stanning Voldemort and Barty Crouch Jr.

Be straightforward and say you don't like him because he does not fit your rigid cookie cutter beauty standards and you have no compassion.

Cheers,

[dntclosemt]

Recent Chapter 459 analysis (kinda)

Okay excuse me if im wrong but—in the recent chapter aren’t HT and MGS engaged???

I read a few short analysis about them on here and they had me thinking for a while trying to connect some dots to something.

So I’m not sure how much time has passed since the engagement. Like it could be spring or maybe summer.

Now im wondering why hasn’t HT let Mo move in with him? Since he’s clearly well off, has a successful business, lots of money, etc etc. and he can easily get both of them a penthouses or somewhere nice to live together.

—And out of all things he could’ve got him; he got him a bed. I’m not saying that’s not a good thing (because Mo deserves it) but like, personally if I was rich and saw my fiancé living in a small garage that’s not really in the best conditions i would do my best to get him out of there at least.

So to be honest if Mo were that kinda person to be a little pissed at that I definitely don’t blame him. But it does make me wonder…

Now my main guesses are—

1. MGS and HT must’ve had the “come live with me” conversation already and maybe Mo isn’t ready yet or maybe he wants to earn or work for a nicer place to live. Due to him being so stubborn about taking things that are given to him. (One example is when Jian Yi tried to give him that whole bag of money and Mo turned it down.)

2. We don’t really know HT’s living situation in the future chapters so I can’t necessarily say that “oh he has a place to live why can’t he let mo stay with him.” But i doubt he’s sleeping in his car or something like that. So my guess on that would be maybe he’s staying at a hotel until he gets a place for him and Momo (?)

So for my comfort I’m gonna assume He Tian is currently staying at a hotel, maybe waiting for the right time to get him and Mo a nice place to stay. So for the time being he gets him a bigger and comfier bed because he’s either spoiling Mo or he’s either planning to stay with him.

————————

It’s been a few minutes so now that I put some thought to it I am predicting that he is gonna stay with him, because like I said; it’s not mentioned or shown what HT’s living status is at the moment. So by telling Mo he’s gonna be staying with him he gets him a bigger bed and says “Now we can roll around on it.”

What do you guys think? 🤔🙏🏼

(I could be wrong about all of this don’t come for me😭)

[sanguineterrain]

Hi Sanne! Could I please request a Wally x reader where she’s super clumsy and kinda shy so when he flirts with her she gets all flustered and clumsy and Wally thinks it’s the cutest thing in the world? Thank you!

got this request AGES ago and forgot to post. hope you like! I don't know much about wally's personality admittedly except for the few comics I've read with him 🫣

gn!reader. wally makes your body and mouth clumsy. kissing and confessions. drinking.

****

"So what exactly is this again?" Roy asks, peering at his glass.

"It's a mocktail," you say.

"No, I get that, but why is it blue? And sparkly."

"It's supposed to be the ocean," Dick says. "Duh."

"Oh, sure. As usual, I'm the idiot. Never had the creative mind to find worlds in drinks. 'S like I'm drinking a snow globe."

"I can get you something else," you say, laughing.

"No, I like the snowglobe." Roy curls his hands around the glass protectively. "My snowglobe."

The team's decided to try their hand at a trivia night at a local bar. It's gone better than you expected, with only one near-blowup and no glasses thrown. All in all, a good night.

"I would like another daiquiri, please," Donna says, holding up her glass. "These are delicious. What flavor did you say this one was?"

"Passion fruit."

She nods. "Indeed. I'm passionate about this fruit."

"Don't get my team too hungover," Dick says, eyes shining and cheeks pink from two drinks.

"I'll do my best," you say.

If only Wally were here, you don't say. He'd be a big help in getting everyone back to the Tower. You have no idea how you're going to manage the Wonder Twins and Garth wobbling all over the sidewalk. Roy, though perfectly sober, will provide zero help, too busy giggling at Dick's lack of motor skills.

You take Donna's glass because she deserves another passion fruit daiquiri if she wants it, darn it. You order that and another two baskets of fries. Dick's got the tab. Everyone's taking advantage.

"Need a hand?"

You turn with the fries cradled in one arm and the daiquiri in your other hand. You don't anticipate Wally to be standing as close as he is.

The baskets go flying.

"Whoa!" he says, darting out to catch the food. He does so perfectly, of course.

"Oh!" Your face goes hot as Wally grins at you.

"Careful," he says. "All those heroes and not a single one came to help you carry the food? They should be ashamed of themselves."

"They're, um, having a good time. It's okay, really." Did you manifest him being here? "I was just thinking about you."

Wally's grin widens. "Oh, yeah? Anything in particular?"

Now, why did you say that? Your tongue just gets so clumsy around him.

"I was—I mean, it wasn't—I was thinking about how helpful it would be if you were here. I was hoping you'd come."

"Well, hope no more! You've got an official superhero on your side."

Wally wriggles the glass out of your hand and gestures for you to go ahead. Now you're carrying nothing. You go, knowing that protesting does no good with Wally.

"Seems like wherever you go, Wally isn't far behind," Roy says, waggling his eyebrows. "You two psychically linked or something?"

Dick and Donna exchange smiles. You look at Wally, mildly mortified by the teasing.

"We're soulmates, actually," Wally says, and that makes your whole body hot. "Wouldn't expect you to understand, Arrow Boy."

"Dude, I'm hurt." Roy clutches his chest. "I thought we were soulmates."

"You wish. Where's Garth?"

"Bathroom," Dick says.

Donna makes grabby hands for the drink. She takes a long sip and gives you a thumbs up. You return it.

"We should play pool!" Dick says.

"No way, you cheat," Roy says.

"I do not! Donna, do I cheat?"

"Physically, Dick doesn't cheat, but he has a long history of psychologically manipulating opponents," Donna says.

Roy snaps his fingers. "Bingo."

"I don't cheat, I'm just that good." Dick smirks. "Anyway, I'm tipsy, so my aim will be off."

Roy rolls his eyes. "Yeah, right. No bets. I can't afford to lose anymore money to you."

"Fine. You two joining us?" Dick asks, looking at you and Wally.

"I don't know how to play pool," you say, a little embarrassed. Working on a team of superheroes, the least you could do is know how to play pool. Pool is obviously a cool people game. Batman probably taught Dick pool when he was, like, eight.

"That's fine, we can teach ya," Roy says.

"No, we suck at teaching," Dick says. "Remember, Roy? Remember how we suck at teaching people? Wally's way better at teaching."

Roy glances at Dick, then at Wally. He nods slowly. "Ah... yeah. Our, uh, shortcomings as teachers—yeah, we suck. Wally, you're up!"

Wally squints at them. "What're you talking about? You guys are better at pool than me."

"Not true! You can calculate physics in your head and shit. Go on. Shoo, fly," Roy says, waving him away.

Wally looks at you, questioning. You shrug, trying to play off how nervous you are at the prospect of being alone with him.

You follow him to one of the pool tables. He takes down a cue stick and gives it to you.

"You really don't have to teach me," you say, suddenly self-conscious. "It's not a big deal."

"I don't mind," he says, smiling. "Plus, what if you're a pool prodigy and we never find out because I never taught you and unlocked your ability? Tragic."

You laugh. He beams. You back up against the table and the wooden edge hits your back. You wince.

"You okay?" he asks, inspecting you.

"Fine." You sigh. "Okay, I'm ready to unlock my special abilities."

"Right on. So you're gonna hold the cue like this."

He puts it in your hands and adjusts your grip.

"Okay, and you're gonna stand like—uh, is it cool if I touch you?"

"Uh-huh," you say, hoping your voice isn't high and breathy.

Wally gently bends you forward and moves your hips so your legs are planted. He's behind you, mouth near your ear.

"Alright," he says, and your whole body goes aflame. He's so close. "So pull back..."

You pull back the cue and promptly elbow Wally in the stomach. He grunts and you drop the stick, mortified.

"Oh my God," you say, spinning around. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. God—"

You dart away, the humiliation too overwhelming. You're making a beeline for the bathroom when Wally appears in front of you. Damn superspeed.

"Hey, hey," he says, hands on your shoulders. "I'm okay. Seriously, don't even worry about it!"

"No." You shake your head. "I give up. I'm too uncoordinated for this stuff. There's a reason I'm not out on the field."

"Aw, c'mon, none of that," Wally says, rubbing your arms. "You're a valued member of the team even if you don't go onto the field. What you do is important. You're like our Oracle."

"I've been tripping over my own feet all night," you say, looking down.

No guesses as to why you've been so clumsy. Starts with a W, ends with a Y.

"Well, I'll always be there to catch you," Wally says warmly. "I have great reflexes. It's kinda my thing."

You busy yourself with picking at a loose thread on your shirt, so Wally won't see your response to that.

"I'm still sorry for elbowing you." You cover your face at the memory. "Ugh."

He laughs. "Nah, it's okay, honestly. I'm a tough guy. Put on my own suit and everything."

And now, your mind is inundated with images of Wally in his suit.

He carefully tugs your hands from your face, gaze soft. You're caught off-guard as Wally rubs your knuckles with his thumbs.

"Listen, I..." He glances around as if searching for words. You've never seen Wally at a loss for words. He's usually talking too fast for anyone to keep up. "I don't know if maybe I'm misreading this. I don't think I am. But if I am, feel free to elbow me again."

Your eyes widen. "I would never—"

And quick as anything, Wally leans in and pecks your lips. It's warm, like a shock of electricity. You barely have time to process it.

"Oh," is all you can say.

Wally smiles nervously. "Is that a good oh or a 'I'd like to punch you in the face' oh?"

"I like you," you blurt.

He relaxes into a grin. "Know what? I kind of suspected. Especially after those idiots practically forced us into playing pool. I'm dumb but I'm not that dumb."

"You're not dumb, Wally."

"When it comes to this stuff, I really am. But I'm happy you like me because I really like you. Like, a lot."

"Yeah? Elbows and all?"

Wally laughs, draws you in again for a kiss. "You can elbow me any time, babe."

[frogeyedape]

I am so unbelievably pissed off. FUCK HOAs

Oh, my trash/recycling bin can't be visible except on pickup day? Ok whatever fine I hate you but I can deal with this

Weekly inspections?????? FU FU FU FU FU

SECOND NOTICE ALSO WE'RE CHARGING YOU MONEY TO SEND YOU CERTIFIED MAIL OF THIS TOTALLY LEGIT TOTALLY SECOND NOTICE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY A VIOLATION cue me: checks notes. Hmm. My recycling bin was. on the curb. on recycling pickup day. You know. The day it has to be out. The day it is motherfucking ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING OUT AND VISIBLE.

so. 1) not a violation

I have sent them the trash AND recycling pickup schedules, which are DIFFERENT, btw

I have disputed the fact of the violation

I have disputed the linking of this "violation" to a previous violation MONTHS AGO--their "first notice" in this case was a "Courtesy Notice" LITERALLY 5 MONTHS AGO and they've done so many inspections since then and my bin CLEARLY WASN'T OUT IN THOSE INTERVENING MONTHS so WTMFH

So I am posting like a crazy person here instead of sending the absolutely deranged email I almost sent (I did send a slightly less deranged version with the disputes, and requesting a hearing)

OMG. It has been. Less than one hour since I learned this fun fun news. My bin was out YESTERDAY, y'all. YESTERDAY. I am going to blow a gasket

[chheese-mmmhh]

am i hoping for bad things to happen to watcher? no!!! absolutely not!!! i really hope they continue to do great and pull in more people HOWEVER do i foresee bad things happening? yeah for sure…like just on a business level this was a horrible move and i have such mixed emotions because i WANT good things for them but that just…won’t happen

[angeltism]

"spar.kle is fictional who cares" I have seen people praising her for her racist anti-romani comments what the fuck kind of world do you live in

[araraito]

I don't know how to not give up nowadays

[im2tired4usernames]

My parents should be fuckin ashamed

[pa-pa-plasma]

I feel like too many people don't understand that a bad person having normal human traits does not suddenly make them a good person

[drysauce]

fuck this shit i'm NOT working this summer

[our-inspire-verse]

"I am such a bad partner im evil im horrible"

No no bad for your mental health! Try i feel statements

"ok. Okok. I FEEL like fucking laying down in the road. I FEEL like im constantly about to lose everything i work hard to build and it's going to end up killing me. And i FEEL as if i don't deserve solace or peace or to heal and improve"

Wait-

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for sabotaging my boyfriend's hookup with his girlfriend by filling his sex playlist with DJ Crazytimes

I (28NB, they/he) have known my boyfriend (call him C, 29M, he/him) for some 15ish years now. As long as I've known him, he has been on and off again with his girlfriend (call him T, 29NB, he/him). Respectfully, and with love, C and T are two of the worst and most annoying people I know. I want to marry them both specifically so that I can study them under a microscope like a parasitic virus.

Technically they're monogamous, but they're both hooking up with other people (myself included), usually the same people, because they have the same taste in lovers (bad). I have suggested that they give actual polyamory a try, and they reject the idea wholeheartedly. I think they get off on their dynamic, and far be it from me to try more than the bare minimum to dissuade them from it.

A couple months back, they got into a fight and broke up (again) because T (who was unemployed at the time) stole $50 from C (who works at GameStop) so that he could pay for a tank of gas (using C's car) to go hook up with another guy a couple states over. C was not upset that T was hooking up with another guy (because he was Also hooking up with that guy and knew he would not have a leg to stand on), but because of the stolen money + car.

C and I currently live together, because you can't afford an apartment on a GameStop salary, and also, like I said, he's my boyfriend. I'm making carnitas tacos next Friday, and T is coming over, because despite everything, he has nothing else to do on a Friday night. I know that C and T are going to get into a huge fight, and I know that it's probably either going to end with them getting back together out of spite or with someone's vehicle getting keyed--I'm betting on both.

Here's where I think I might be the asshole. I would really like to get inbetween them. Not in a "I don't want you to date each other" kind of way, but in a "holy shit you are both so insufferable i would like to get in on that" kind of way. I currently have my thing with C, and I've hooked up with T once in the past, but I would really like to make it official with him as well.

My plan is as follows: C and T are going to be in the same space again next Friday. They're going to fight, then hook up, then get back together again. C is one of those cybersexual "i built my own computer and run it on Linux" people, which is to say, he thinks tiktok and youtube are evil, and he he thinks spotify premium is supporting megacorporations. So, his sex playlist for T (we do not have our own sex playlist) is just an actual folder of mp3 files.

While C is at work, I'm going to log into his computer and change several of those mp3 files to DJ Crazytimes' Planet of the Bass, which I play often, and he is frequently annoyed by. My hope is that he'll realize it was me, he'll come and yell at me for ruining their hookup, T will take my side to piss him off, and the tension will get to the point where they let me join their hookup, and I can ask to date both of them after that.

To be clear, I recognize that I'm also Incredibly Toxic for enabling and encouraging this behavior. That said, I feel like I'm justified in this scenario considering C and T are both Also toxic, and furthermore, it is a known fact that I'm dating C right now, so for them to hook up, C would technically be cheating on me. I asked C's sister (a childhood friend of mine) for her take on whether it would be funny or just annoying, and she just told me that we all deserve each other, so I think I should be good. Am I being uniquely shitty here?

What are these acronyms?