#sadly meta is a little too smart for that i fear

[greasydumbfuck]

metafrank but like the bits that make it obvious they are like really terrible together

[hintofelation99]

The Justice League Hangs out with Duke

Bruce: Duke, it's time we had the talk.

Duke: Uh... nope. No thank you. I'm not getting the sex talk from Batman.

Bruce: What? No! The Robin talk.

Duke: But, I'm- I'm the Signal now? Isn't it a bit late for a Robin talk?

Bruce: Son, it's never too late, not for this.

Duke: Um. Ok.

Bruce: When Dick, Jason, and Tim first started as Robins they created a tradition. A tradition that continued with Stephanie, Damian, and now you.

Duke: And that tradition is?

Bruce: Taking down the Justice League. By being annoying and slightly terrifying.

Duke: OHHHHHH. Is that why no one from the Justice League talks to me?

Bruce: Yes, yes it is. But don't worry. I made an arrangement that will allow you time alone with league members to continue the tradition. You have a week to prepare.

——————

Duke: Cass, what do I do?

Cass raises an eyebrow at Duke.

Duke: For the Robin tradition thing. I have to take down the entire Justice League in a night using creative, outlandish, and original methods. But it's already been done by Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, and Steph. So what do I do? How can I be better than all of them.

Cass smirks: Take them down too.

Duke looking at Cass like she's crazy: What?

Cass: Take. Them. Down.

Duke: Holy shit, you are terrifying.

Cass just smiles and leaves.

-> One Week Later <-

Wonder Woman, Superman, Flash, Aquaman, Green Lantern, Black Canary, Martian Manhunter, Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, and Steph gather in the Watchtower.

Duke: Hey guys, Batman just wanted to go through some training exercises with everyone. He'll be a little late. Harley and Ivy escaped Arkham and are trying to grow penis shaped shrubs in all the public parks. But, don't worry he asked me to go ahead and start with out him.

Green Lantern: Why are you leading this meeting?

Duke: Batman is running late and he wants me to practice leading meetings.

Green Lantern, glaring suspiciously at Duke: Are you about to do that stupid Robin tradition where you torture all of us?

Duke: What Robin tradition? Also, I'm not even a Robin? I'm the Signal.

Green Lantern continues to glare at him.

Superman: Calm down Green Lantern, the Robins never do this in front of each other.

Every League member seems to relax at this.

Duke acting confused: Uhhh, yeah. Ok, we have a few housekeeping things to do according to the list Batman left. So, I'll have everyone pair up for sparring while I handle these individually.

------

Everyone is in the training room working out or sparring. Duke approaches Tim.

Duke: Hey Tim, Bruce wanted you to look in to that Bludhaven case. Is that ok with you?

Tim: Yeah, why wouldn't it be?

Duke: Oh, I just thought it might be difficult considering what Dick did.

Tim: ...What did he do?

Duke: Wait, you haven't noticed? Oh no, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything.

Tim: Duke. Tell me what he did.

Duke: Well, Jason said that he replaced all your coffee with decaf.

Tim: THAT BASTARD. No wonder I've been feeling so tired! I'm going to kill him!

Duke: Wait, just stop! I heard that he hid all of it in Green Lantern's room.

Tim: Wait, why there?

Duke: Something about you being afraid of him.

Tim: WHAT?! I'm not afraid of the Green Nightlight! I'm gonna find that coffee then make Dick pay.

Duke: Oh, well cool, good luck!

------

Green Lantern: Um, what are you doing in my room?

Tim: Where is it?

Green Lantern: Where's what?

Tim: You know what I want. Give up now or face the consequences.

Green Lantern: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Tim: Fine. Consequences.

------

Steph, sparring with Duke: So, what's it like being the first meta bat?

Duke: Not too bad, but I could do with out the whole 'predict the future' thing.

Steph, laughing: What? You can not see the future.

Duke: I bet you $50 I can

Steph: Your on.

Duke, makes everything around him light up and uses a weird voice: In the next thirty minutes Green Lantern will flee the Watchtower in fear. Soon after Dick will be attacked by Tim.

Steph, snorts in obvious disbelief.

Steph: That was so fake-

Green Lantern runs out of the tower looking terrified.

Steph: No way.

Tim tackles Dick and they start fighting like three year old's on the floor.

Steph, handing Duke $50: Holy shit Magic Man.

Duke makes things light up and does the voice again: Oh my god.

Steph, looking excited: What?!

Duke: The- the sushi. The sushi you brought today, it's made from-

Duke pretends to choke back a sob.

Duke: It's made from the fish who was the maid of honor at Aquaman's wedding.

Steph: HOLY SHIT.

------

Steph and Aquaman sit beside each other for lunch, she pulls out her sushi and looks at Aquaman sadly.

Steph: I am so, so sorry for your loss. But just know that her sacrifice is not in vain.

Aquaman, looks confused for a second then sees the sushi: NOPE. Not this again! I'm leaving.

Steph: Wait! I'm sorry!

Aquaman leaves as Steph tries to chase him down.

------

Jason is laughing and filming as Dick and Tim fight.

Duke, whistles: Man, imagine if that video went on YouTube.

Jason, looking confused: What?

Duke: I'm just saying if the video of Red Robin and Nightwing fighting like kids ever got on YouTube, it'd go viral. Oh and they would be so pissed!

Jason, laughs: Too bad B would kill me if I uploaded this.

Duke: Yeah, I guess so. And you can't upload it here because then Superman would get in trouble.

Jason: Why would the boy scout get in trouble?

Duke: Cause he always uses his YouTube account on the Justice League computer. So it'd look like he uploaded it and B would find out that Superman watches cat videos while he's on monitor duty.

Jason, smirking: Huh, so you're saying if I upload this on the League computer I'd piss off Bruce, Tim, and Dick and get Supes in trouble?

Duke, acting innocent: Huh, I guess so.

-> A Few Minutes Later <-

A call from Bruce comes up on the main computer.

Superman: Hey Batman, what can I do for you?

Bruce: You, Red Hood, cave now.

Jason: What? Why me?

Bruce: Because I saw that little home video you uploaded of your brothers.

Jason: What, that wasn't me!

Bruce: I could hear you laughing while you filmed.

Jason: Dammit.

Jason and Clark leave for the cave pouting like kids.

------

Duke: Hey, Black Canary?

Black Canary: Yes Duke?

Duke: I'm sorry to do this on such short notice, but I'm very worried about Dick and Tim.

Black Canary: Why?

Duke: Well, Tim keeps claiming that Dick is out to get him. Something about Dick messing with his coffee? And Dick feels like he's just being attacked for no reason and is worried about Tim's health. Is there anyway you could intervene?

Black Canary, looking sighing and looking exhausted: Usually I have three days of preparation before dealing with bats.

Duke: I know it's just-

Duke gestures to Tim and Dick rolling on the floor fighting.

Duke: They really need help.

Black Canary: Alright, I'll see what I can do.

Black Canary attempts to intervene only to get pulled into the fight. Now the three of them are tangled in a huge, confusing fight, that's filled with yelling and hair pulling.

------

Duke: Damian! Quick!

Damian: What is it Thomas.

Duke: I think somethings wrong with Dick and Tim and maybe even Black Canary. They're all fighting and won't stop! Can you help me contain them so that we can figure out what's going on?

Damian: Fine. I shall help.

Duke: Ok, just try to herd them into this containment cell.

Damian joins the fight managing to get everyone, including himself, into the containment cell. As Damian is trying to leave Duke closes the cell. Damian angrily yells and bangs on the sound proof walls.

Duke: What? Sorry, can't hear you! My hand slipped!

------

Wonder Woman: Very well done Signal.

Duke, acting innocent: Hm?

Wonder Woman: You tricked Red Robin into scaring Green Lantern away, then into fighting Nightwing. Once that fight broke out you tricked Red Hood into uploading a video to the internet using the Superman's credentials. By uploading that video he caused both himself and Superman to face Batman's wrath. You also used the fight to trick Stephanie into annoying Aquaman to the point of leaving. Then you involved Black Canary in the fight, which was her downfall. And, as a final touch, you managed to get Robin into the fight and trapped all in a containment cell. You successfully eliminated 9 foes with one trick.

Duke: You mean 11.

Wonder Woman: What?

Duke: 11. You see, I didn't trick Red Robin, I tricked Nightwing. I had a week to prepare. In that week I convinced Dick that Tim needed to cut back on the caffeine and that Dick should help by switching all of Tim's coffee with decaf. I also convinced him to hide that coffee in the watchtower, in Green Lantern's room. So that was all true.

Wonder Woman: But, that still does not make 11?

Duke: It does. Because This morning I moved the coffee. I replaced the Flashes decaf with Tim's ultra caffeinated coffee. You see Tim has it specially manufactured to increase the caffeine levels. And, while Flash doesn't usually drink his coffee in the morning, he's always running late and forgets, he does drink coffee during training breaks. Which is now. So in about five minutes we will have an incredibly caffeinated speedster in the Watchtower. And since you're the only one around right now with a chance of catching him, that's your problem.

Right as Duke finishes Flash runs by, majorly hyped up on caffeine.

Duke: Checkmate.

------

Martian Manhunter: It appears that I am the last remaining League member.

Duke: Yeah, I don't really understand this tradition but apparently every Robin ends it by picking a favorite league member.

Martian Manhunter: Out of all the League members, why have you chosen me?

Duke: Your smart and have a lot of cool powers. Also, I dunno, I hear you sometimes feel like an outsider with the league. Cause, the whole martian thing. And I know it's not the same but, sometimes I feel like an outsider with the bats, being the only meta and all.

Martian Manhunter: You have chosen me so that we may bond over our lack of connections?

Duke: Uhhhh, yeah?

Martian Manhunter: Hm. Very well, I assume that this is your “Robin Weakness”. Apparently every Robin has one.

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[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis New Year’s Special: Roy Batty

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

There are villains, and there are anti-villains, villains who do evil but who evoke sympathy because while their actions are heinous, their motivations are sympathetic and understandable. And there are few villains in all of cinema and even fewer anti-villains who evoke quite as much sympathy as Roy Batty.

Roy Batty is a Replicant, designed for combat and made to basically be a slave as all Replicants are. And despite all this, Batty merely wants to be free and live his life, and in fact prolong his life as he does not have a lot of time left – Replicants like him only get a few years at most. And so he murders and tortures his way through people who might have the answers he seeks, and yet, despite all this Roy Batty never once stops being sympathetic, he never stops being someone the audience can somewhat empathize with. We condemn his actions, sure, but he always remains a tragic figure.

Despite being ostensibly the villain of the film, Batty manages to have a defined arc that gets just as much attention as Deckard, fully fleshing him out and making him something of a villain protagonist from a certain point of view. In fact, Batty is not just a great villain and a great protagonist – he’s probably one of the greatest characters in all of cinema.

Actor: Phillip K. Dick, author of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, the book Blade Runner is based on, is quoted as saying Rutger Hauer was "the perfect Batty — cold, Aryan, flawless." Batty was designed to be the perfect being, a flawless specimen of man, strong, smart, and driven, and if any man in the 80s exemplified that, it was Hauer. In a career of great performances, this was Hauer’s finest, and most of that comes from him inspiring so much of what we love about eh character, doing little things that wre thrown in because he felt it made Batty more interesting. Of course, the most important thing Hauer did was change Batty’s scripted dying words into something far more poignant and beautiful, but we’ll get to that shortly. If it isn’t clear, this is an absolutely perfect performance.

Motivation/Goals: Batty has a simple goal, but a goal that drives him to desperation: he wants to live. And he wants to live because he can’t bear all of his memories being forgotten, washed away by time and forgotten. He wants to be remembered if nothing else, but he goes to murderous lengths to achieve his goal… though frankly it’s seriously hard not to sympathize with him considering that he’s an escaped slave desperate to leave some mark on the world and live free going up against a cop who is legally allowed to hunt him down and terminate him. I suppose it is part of the point that we should sympathize with him; he’s more human than human, after all.

Personality: It’s actually interesting to note that Batty is well-read, intelligent, charming, and philosophical… which is the opposite of our tough, gritty noir detective protagonist Deckard. Much has been made of Harrison Ford’s, let’s say, “understated” performance in Blade Runner, but frankly I find it to be a deliberate choice to contrast against Batty: we have a machine that is all too human going up against a human who is bland and robotic. It ties in very well thematically with the film.

Final Fate: After spending the climax beating up Deckard and basically going bonkers after the deaths of his lover and friends, Batty regains his composure, saves Deckard’s life, and, well...

Best Scene: ...he dies. But not before he laments on how all the amazing experiences he has had in his short, tragic existence will die with him and end up forgotten. This is one of the most beautiful soliloquies ever put to film, and while I’m not the biggest fan of the film as a whole, I am an enormous fan of Batty and this scene in particular. I tear up every single time I watch this; Hauer’s performance here is so powerful.

Best Quote: As if it could be anything else aside from the “Tears in the Rain” soliloquy: ���I've...seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those... moments... will be lost in time, like tears... in... rain. Time... to die...” This quote becomes all the more tragic and poignant as Hauer passed away in 2019, a few months before the month his character died in the 2019 this movie envisioned. It’s a sad, eerie coincidence that only serves to empower these lines even more.

Final Thoughts & Score: Roy Batty is one of the most beautiful and poignant characters in all of cinema. Everything about him is just so appealing on a character level, and it amazes me because he’s really the only part of the movie I love. The rest of it has just never vibed with me even a little bit – but Roy Batty? His struggles are always relatable.

While obviously it’s not likely you’ll know what it’s like to be a slave, it’s pretty common to have that sort of existential dread that Batty has. I know I’ve always feared dying alone and unremembered, all of what I am being forgotten as I fade away. Maybe that’s why Batty resonated with me more than the rest of the film and certainly more than Deckard: you can give me all the gritty cyberpunk noir with Harrison Ford you’d like, but it won’t mean anything if you’re giving me a deeply existential and philosophical cyborg superman desperate to either extend his life which is rapidly burning out or at least somehow preserve his memory so that his existence is not utterly forgotten (this last bit actually makes his casting as the replacement for Master Xehanort all the better; The Nobodies had similar themes, what with their Proof of Existence graveyard and desire to have their hearts returned).

Adding into what makes him so engaging to me is the religious symbolism, something I’m a sucker for. Batty ends up as a strange and complex fusion of both Lucifer and Jesus, descending from the sky to free his people in spite of the wishes of his god-like father. He does resemble many stereotypical depictions of Lucifer, as well. But then we get to the more Jesus-y bits, such as his affinity for doves and the fact he dies with nails through his palms and a dove in his hands. He’s such an interesting Messianic archetype.

Batty is clearly a 10/10. That 10 is pretty much solely for the soliloquy too; if only I had more of an excuse to give him an 11, but sadly Batty hasn’t had the massive impact on popular culture that he deserves, which is a shame. Batty is still a perfect villain regardless, and a perfect character to boot, no bones about it. In the end, while he never succeeded to extend his life, he did end up getting what he wanted on a meta level: Roy Batty, to all who have seen the film, is eternally remembered. His memories are not lost to time like tears in the rain; those memories live on in us. If Batty were real, I hope he would be satisfied that his short life was not in vain. 

I think it says a lot that he doesn’t appear in Blade Runner 2049, and yet... as the film ends and K lies dying, Vangelis’ “Tears in the Rain” plays over him, drawing a direct connection between the dignified, tragic end of Roy Batty and the heroic sacrifice K made to save Deckard and ensure he could finally meet his daughter. Roy doesn’t need to appear at all; just invoking him in spirit is enough to make a scene all the more beautiful and poignant. If that is not the sign of a great character, I’m not exactly sure what is.

[cienie-isengardu]

A bit about Hufflepuff and Slytherin Houses

There are two important to me writing competitions I wish to take part (one related to star wars, the other, more serious, for a fairy tale for children) - the time is running away and of course my mind is the treacherous bastard that comes up with plenty of ideas for new metas and urging me to finish the already half-written ones. So, instead of doing what I should, I’m in the middle of hunting down and gathering crucial information for my (hopefully soon) upcoming analysis of Salazar Slytherin and Pure-blood Ideology and I’m so, so amused by the House Welcome Messages wrote once for (old?) Pottermore because it seriously makes me even more liking Slytherin and Hufflepuff for A) loyalty to house mates & taking care for each other and B) the shared dislike (critique) for Revenclaw.

Hufflepuff:

[...] So, as you can see, we’ve produced more than our fair share of powerful, brilliant and daring witches and wizards, but, just because we don’t shout about it, we don’t get the credit we deserve. Ravenclaws, in particular, assume that any outstanding achiever must have come from their house. I got into big trouble during my third year for duelling a Ravenclaw prefect who insisted that Bridget Wenlock had come from his house, not mine. I should have got a week of detentions, but Professor Sprout let me off with a warning and a box of coconut ice.

Hufflepuffs are trustworthy and loyal. We don’t shoot our mouths off, but cross us at your peril; like our emblem, the badger, we will protect ourselves, our friends and our families against all-comers. Nobody intimidates us.

Slytherin:

But we’re not bad people. We’re like our emblem, the snake: sleek, powerful, and frequently misunderstood.

For instance, we Slytherins look after our own – which is more than you can say for Ravenclaw. Apart from being the biggest bunch of swots you ever met, Ravenclaws are famous for clambering over each other to get good marks, whereas we Slytherins are brothers. The corridors of Hogwarts can throw up surprises for the unwary, and you’ll be glad you’ve got the Serpents on your side as you move around the school. As far as we’re concerned, once you’ve become a snake, you’re one of ours – one of the elite.

Because you know what Salazar Slytherin looked for in his chosen students? The seeds of greatness. You’ve been chosen by this house because you’ve got the potential to be great, in the true sense of the word. All right, you might see a couple of people hanging around the common room whom you might not think are destined for anything special. Well, keep that to yourself. If the Sorting Hat put them in here, there’s something great about them, and don’t you forget it.

Big part why I’m from start so keen to those two Houses is because both value loyalty, what was mentioned by Sorting Hat in the first song (”You might belong in Hufflepuff, Where they are just and loyal” & “Or perhaps in Slytherin You'll make your real friends”). Okay, fine, most likely they see loyalty / friendship in different ways, but let me tell you something about the House Welcome Messages: Slytherin and Hufflepuff know how to take care of  themselves and in critical moment they will not back down. Gryffindor (the lion) and Ravenclaw (the eagle) have connection to “noble animals”, with majestic & powerful symbolic behind them, while snake is seen as evilness / sin (especially in Christian beliefs) while most people have little idea what badger is and both animals (Houses) are looked down on and oh boy, people couldn’t be even more wrong.

Slytherins are seen as dangerous ones and they for sure use other people’s fear to keep themselves save and in control of situation but if you were sorted to their House, then you are one of them, you are part of brotherhood*. Snakes are different from each other, some may look like they aren’t worth to be there. But if Sorting Hat put them here then who you are to judge that? Slytherins play to win and they love winning but loyalty to their House is no less important.

Hufflepuffs are very loyal too. The Hufflepuff’s prefect who told the story of his duel with Ravenclaw fought “in defense of honor” of famous Bridget Wenlock - and he fought with a boy at least two years older (and a prefect, which means the boy was considered a good (skilled?) student) and did not back down a bit. Hufflepuffs may be look down on, but they are ready to fight at any moment, if they, their families or friends are in danger... or in this case, just “insulted”.

The more I think about Slytherin and Hufflepuff, the more similarities I could find. But I want talk about one similarity especially:

Both Houses have bad reputation albeit from different reason. Slytherins due to dark magic, ambitions (who seems be a trait quite often attributed to villains in general), cleverness and ruthlessness while Hufflepuffs for accepting all students. Which is why many people see this great House as a place for losers, who were rejected by more strictly (demanding) recruitment of Gryffindor (bravery and nobility), Ravenclaw (intelligence and creativity) or Slytherin (ambition and smartness). You get sorted into Slytherin? You must be evil or at least morally shady. You get sorted into Hufflepuff? Only losers, people without character go there. And some kids think it’s better to leave Hogwarts than being sorted to Slytherin or Hufflepuff... what a great reputation!

Well, and maybe this is also reason why I’m so keen to Hufflepuff and Slytherin. They are Hogwarts’ underdogs, the “worst sort” of students even if we know it’s not true. All Houses have their share of great sorcerers and dark wizards and witches but the original** Harry Potter series is, in my opinion, very biased towards every House that is not the precious, noble Gryffindor. And since I tend to stick to the “lesser”, the looked down on,  so yeah, Slytherin and Hufflepuff are the Houses I find the most intriguing.

In some matters those Houses are extremaly different but at the same time their traits speaks a lot to me. I really dislike Gryffindors and the whole bullshit about their bravery or noble nature. Hermione was pretty ruthless and ambitious and I don’t think she cared for people (the way Hufflepuff would care) and kinda her noble cause was more important than someone’s well being? Harry get himself (and others) in so many problems due to his impulsiveness and not thinking about the consequences and I really hate Marauders and the shit they did and never were held accountable. While the Ravenclaws who are so inteligent and creative and oh boy, so knowledgeable seems to me like those who are the most likely to bully their own house mates - I mean, did Draco bully his own House mates the same Luna was picked up by hers for being “weird”? Okay, I know there is limited knowledge about other Houses but somehow down the road of series I really have my doubts about Gryffindor and Ravenclaw and it irks me how magic people look down on Hufflepuff for being nice and calm and Slytherin for their ambitious nature.

* Sadly, since the whole series is from Harry’s POV we didn’t see much of internal house interaction in Slytherin and Draco was set as his school rival from the start, so Harry’s POV was pretty much biased. Not to mention what kind of brat Draco was as kid. Then again, in Prince’s Tale we could see Lucius welcoming very friendly young Severus after he was sorted into Slytherin. We known Severus was half-blood wizard with surname from Muggle-born father, and Lucius most likely could deduce the boy is not Pure-blood himself. Severus never was described as boy (and later, a man) with good look or good social skills that could catch Lucius’ attention, right? And here there he was:

And Severus Snape moved off to the other side of the Hall, away from Lily, to where the Slytherins were cheering him, to where Lucius Malfoy, a prefect badge gleaming upon his chest, patted Snape on the back as he sat down beside him. . . . [DH]

** Fantastic Beasts is changing that, I think, with Newt being Hufflepluff and Leta Lestrange, a bullied yet brave Slytherin girl.

[singledarkshade]

Settling In

Part Six – Worst Fear 1 Rip let out a scream filled with horror dropping to his knees. Joe yelled out his name before letting off a shot at the meta-human standing over the former time traveller. Dodging the bullets Joe fired the man ran leaving Rip hunched sobbing on the ground.

Joe ran and caught Rip’s shoulder to check on him worried when Rip pulled away, staggering away into the path of a truck.

“Rip!!”

Relief filled him when Wally suddenly appeared at his side holding Rip who dropped again, despair covering his face while his eyes were glazed and dead.

Joe’s phone rang suddenly, “Yeah?”

“Detective West,” Gideon’s voice came, “Please get Captain Hunter to Star Labs immediately.”

“Okay,” Joe replied, still unnerved that a computer had the ability to do this, “Wally, take him to Star Labs. Tell Caitlin to call me if she needs anything.”

Wally nodded and disappeared with Rip. Joe sighed, they had very little idea what this meta-human was doing to people but from their experience so far, it wasn’t good.

  “Dr Snow,” Gideon stated when Wally deposited Rip on the bed, “Connect Captain Hunter to the medical monitor. I shall be able to help. Do not sedate him.”

Caitlin grimaced while Rip struggled blindly trying to get away, “Wally, I need help to hold him down.”

The youngest West threw himself onto Rip pushing him back onto the bed. Despite how slim the man was, Rip was quite strong as well as highly trained so it took all of Wally’s strength to hold him down.

Caitlin finally managed to connect Rip to the monitor sighing in relief when he stopped struggling and slipped into unconsciousness. Caitlin was surprised when Gideon suddenly took over the system.

“Gideon?” she called, “What are you doing?”

“I apologise I will be unable to answer any queries for several hours,” Gideon stated, “The automated protections have been engaged,” she came back on before Caitlin could blink, “Please ensure that someone collects Master Hunter from school.”

Frowning Caitlin began her checks wondering what Gideon was doing but knowing she had to treat her patient first and foremost.

“Caitlin?” Cisco ran in just as she was finishing her preliminary tests, “How is he?”

She shook her head, “The same neurotransmitters are building in his brain except...”

“Except?” Cisco asked frowning.

“It’s a much slower build than any of the other victims,” Caitlin explained.

Cisco frowned confused, “Is it because of Rip’s ‘unique physiology’?”

She frowned at him, “I think it’s due to Gideon.”

“Gideon?”

“The moment I connected him to the monitor he was unconscious,” Caitlin explained, “She’s also not answering and told me the automated systems are on.”

Cisco grimaced in thought, “Joe called. He and Barry are going over the last crime-scene but there’s still nothing to tell us who this guy is. I’m hoping that there were cameras nearby this time so we can finally use the facial-recognition.”

“While that is working you should pick Jonas up from school,” Caitlin told him.

Cisco grimaced, “What about Clarissa?”

“She’s in Coast City visiting her friend,” Caitlin reminded him.

“Lisa?”

“Still can’t drive with her arm,” Caitlin replied before listing, “Wally is helping Barry and Joe. Iris is working,” she frowned at him, “If Rip is ill then he’s going to be scared. You’re the closest of us all to Jonas.”

Cisco sighed sadly, “What do I tell him?”

Caitlin turned to the man on the bed and sighed, “That his daddy isn’t feeling well and is sleeping just now until he’s better.”

                                  *********************************************

  Jonas grinned when he saw Cisco standing waiting for him before the fact Rip wasn’t there hit the boy and he stalled.

“Hey, little dude,” Cisco smiled at him, “How was school?”

Jonas stepped towards him slowly, “Where’s Daddy?”

“Your dad isn’t feeling too well just now,” Cisco crouched down to look him in the eye, “Caitlin is looking after him so I came instead.”

Jonas frowned a little, “Daddy’s not well?”

“He’s going to be fine,” Cisco assured him, hoping he wasn’t lying to the boy, “I thought we could go pick up Lisa then go get pizza for dinner. What do you say?”

“Pizza?”

Cisco nodded.

“Daddy doesn’t let me have pizza during the week,” Jonas reminded him.

Laughing Cisco caught the boy in a quick hug, “But I can’t cook.”

Jonas let out a giggle taking Cisco’s hand, “Okay.”

  Lisa gave Jonas a big smile when she climbed into the car beside Cisco. Caitlin had called to let her know what was happening, so she was prepared to be as cheerful for the boy as she could be. They chatted about movies through the drive to the pizza place keeping the boy’s mind off the fact his father wasn’t there.

Cisco had deliberately chosen a place to eat that had a section for Jonas to play in. They ordered their meal then allowed the boy to go and play giving them some time to talk.

“What did Caitlin say?” Cisco asked the moment he was sure Jonas wasn’t able to overhear.

Lisa sighed, “Rip is still unconscious and there is still no information on who did this to him.”

“I should be there helping,” Cisco grimaced before spotting Jonas watching him and giving him a cheery wave.

“You’re taking care of his son,” Lisa said taking drink of her soda, “Rip values Jonas above everything even his own health.”

Cisco nodded, “How much longer are you staying with them?”

“Caitlin told me the cast will be able to come off in two weeks,” Lisa shrugged, “I don’t want to stick around much longer than that.”

Cisco stared at her for a minute, “So then you disappear again and we’ll see you when you’re in trouble again?”

Annoyance covered Lisa’s face, “You think I...” she trailed off glaring at him, “Of course, you still see me as ‘Captain Cold’s evil sister’.”

“Lisa, every time you show up my friends end up in danger,” he told her harshly, “Rip feels guilty about your brother so he’s letting you stay with him while you’re hurt but don’t think  the rest of us have forgotten.”

She stared at him looking as though she’d been slapped but before she could say anything Jonas arrived back at the table.

“What’s wrong?” Lisa forced a smile on her face.

Jonas climbed up beside her, “I don’t want to play just now.”

“That’s okay,” Cisco told him, “You can sit with us.”

                                  *********************************************

  Caitlin looked up from her readings when Lisa, Cisco and Jonas arrived at the lab. Rip was still unconscious and Gideon still offline but the good thing was that the build up of deadly chemicals in his brain wasn’t happening at the same rate as it had in the other victims.

“Jonas, why don’t we go and draw for a while,” Lisa said, giving Cisco a dark look before she drew the boy to his playroom.

Caitlin turned to her friend silently asking what was happening and only receiving a grimace in return.

“How’s Rip?”

She sighed, “The same. I thought Jonas would want to see him.”

“I told him Rip was sleeping just now,” Cisco explained, “And apparently his mom always said he wasn’t supposed to wake his dad if he needed to sleep.”

Caitlin nodded, “That’s a blessing.”

“What about Joe and Barry?” Cisco asked, “Have they found anything?”

They headed into the main lab so Caitlin could show him what they had so far.

  Jonas was sitting reading his book in the corner of his playroom while Lisa watched over him. She was getting antsy wanting to know what was happening and needing to know how Rip was. Despite their first meeting she truly liked the man. He had been more than kind to her even welcoming her into his home and for the first time in her life she saw what life was like with a loving father.

“Lisa,” Caitlin’s soft voice made her look up and she slipped out the door to join the other woman.

“How is he?”

“Still unconscious,” Caitlin reported, “Thankfully the chemicals are at lower levels than we would expect considering what happened with the other victims. Barry and Joe are working on who this meta-human is.”

Lisa grimaced before she glanced in to where the little boy sat, “It’s getting late. He needs to go to bed.”

Caitlin sighed, “I think we should keep him here. Just in case. I thought I would talk to him about what’s happening.”

Lisa nodded, “Can I see Rip?”

“Of course,” Caitlin replied giving her a slight smile. Her attitude towards Lisa had softened a great deal recently, mostly due to seeing her interact with Jonas.

Leaving Caitlin to talk with the little boy, Lisa walked through the corridors quietly. Reaching the room where Rip was laying unconscious on the bed she found a seat and stared at him. Slowly she reached out and took his hand.

“Don’t you dare leave us,” she told him, “I’ve already lost one big brother, I can’t lose another.”

“Hey,” Cisco’s voice made her jump slightly. Still angry she didn’t look at him surprised when he rested his hand on her shoulder, “Are you okay?”

“I’m going to college,” she revealed, “So I can finish High School. I’m going to study to work with kids who come from families like mine, so they don’t end up like me. Rip helped me.”

Cisco stared at her stunned, “Why not tell me?”

“Because you’re so smart I just...” trailing off she was surprised when his arms wrapped around her.

Cisco whispered in her ear, “I’m really proud of you and I know your brother would be too.”

  Caitlin smiled comfortingly when Jonas looked up at her. Taking a seat at his side Caitlin wrapped her arm around him.

“Is Daddy okay?” the little boy whispered fearfully.

Caitlin took a soft breath, “Your daddy is quite sick at the moment. It means that he’s sleeping and he might have to sleep until I find a way to help him get better.”

Jonas nodded his eyes wide.

“Do you have any questions?” Caitlin asked him.

“Is Daddy going to go away like Mummy?” Jonas whispered tearfully.

Caitlin wrapped her arms around him, “I am doing everything to make sure he gets better. I know it’s scary, Jonas but you have to brave. Okay?”

He nodded against her neck.

Caitlin stroked his hair, “Do you want to see your dad before you go to bed?”

“Can I?” Jonas asked hopefully.

She nodded, “Just for a few minutes, sweetie then it’s time for you to go to bed. Cisco is going to be with you until you go to sleep.”

Cisco looked up when the door opened and Caitlin walked in with Jonas. The little boy was clinging to her hand as they stepped inside.

“Hey,” Cisco smiled at him catching Jonas he lifted him so he was on the bed beside Rip.

Jonas lay against Rip hugging him tightly for several minutes before Cisco moved him again, lifting the boy into his arms, “Come on, little dude. Let’s get you ready for bed and we’ll read some stories. Okay?”

Caitlin gave him a soft nod as Cisco carried Jonas out of the room, followed closely by Lisa leaving her alone again.

“You come back,” Caitlin told her patient, “For that little boy. I know you don’t want to leave him so fight, Rip. Fight for him.”

                                  *********************************************

  The smell of coffee made Caitlin’s nose twitch and she blearily opened her eyes finding Barry standing there.

“I love you,” she said.

Barry grimaced, “I’d say I love you too except I know you were talking to the coffee.”

Caitlin smiled at him taking a long drink.

“How is he?” Barry asked moving over to the patient on the bed.

Caitlin stretched before joining him, “The levels are rising but much slower than the others. All it means is he will die in a week rather than a day if I can’t find a way to reverse the build up.”

Barry wrapped his arm around her shoulders, “You’ll find it, Caitlin. I know you will.”

Taking another long drink of her coffee she rubbed her face trying to wake up a little more.

“What about Jonas?” Barry asked.

Caitlin smiled, “He stayed here.”

She motioned him to follow her to the small room they’d made up for the little boy to sleep in, pressing a finger to her lips she stepped back to let Barry look in. He choked back a laugh seeing Jonas on the bed with Cisco on one side of the boy and Lisa on the other under a blanket, all three fast asleep.

Pulling out his phone Barry quickly took a picture before they left the room.

  “We got him,” Joe announced stepping into the lab several hours later.

Caitlin sighed in relief when he handed her a vial of blood and a flashdrive, “Hopefully this will give me something.”

Joe looked at her concerned, “Have you slept?”

“I had a few hours,” she shrugged, “I’ll sleep when he’s awake.”

Resting his hand on her shoulder Joe squeezed it comfortingly, “What about Jonas?”

“Cisco took him to school,” Caitlin told him, “He spoke with the Principal so she knew Rip was sick in case Jonas was upset during the day.”

Joe nodded, “There is one more thing you need to know. We found out what the meta-human was doing to his victims.”

“Which was?” Caitlin asked worriedly.

He grimaced, “Showing them the thing they fear the most.”

Caitlin turned to where he patient lay and winced, “Oh no. I hope that’s not what he’s been seeing all this time.”

Taking a breath she headed to work while Joe moved to Rip and rested a hand on his shoulder.

“Hang on,” Joe told him, “Caitlin will fix this.”

[talking-head-productions]

Post Perspective: The Flash Season 4 Finale

WARNING: SPOILERS!

Sometimes, not often enough, I review things on YouTube under this title (Post Perspective). But those videos take a stupidly long time to write notes for, record, and edit. So I’mma do this instead.

The Flash has been decently good for its entire run. I can’t say I’ve ever been super blown away by The Flash, unlike Legends of Tomorrow (Army of Thawnes, Beebo vs Mallus, and more). But of the finales, I think this might be my favorite.

The Flash has tended to have a bit of a problem where it’s penultimate episodes are not surpassed by the finale. In season 1, Flash Arrow and Firestorm all took on Thawne in episode 22. In Episode 23, they... have conversations with Thawne. There’s also a bit of time travel and a wormhole at the end, but much of that episode was about making the audience cry over Barry’s mom. 6.5/10 

In Season 2 episode 22, they fight Zoom’s army, Black Siren, and Zoom himself. Wally learns about Barry, and then Zoom murdered Henry! Episode 23 comes around... and they have a race in a giant loop-de-loop. The ending with Flashpoint had me excited for season 3, and Zoom becoming Black Flash was cool, but the episode was otherwise a huge “meh”. Especially since we’d just had an episode about Barry letting go of his trauma but now he decides, “screw it, I’m gonna save my mom”. 6/10, tops.

Season 3 was better. Episode 22 was awesome with Past!Snart, King Shark, and Team Flash’s apparent failure at the end. However, episode 23 was also awesome, with the reveal of H.R.’s sacrifice, then Black Flash’s appearance, then the incredible 3 vs 1 speedster battle, and finally the take-down of Savitar. All amazing. The very end is what brought it down, since there was no way they’d let Wally stay as Central City’s main speedster for... any length of time. So their try for an emotional “and now I mus go” scene with Barry fell flat. 7/10.

This season... I think breaks the curse by having episode 23 be a bit better than episode 22. The Flashtime use and Caitlyn’s new backstory kept me interested, and that hallway scene was fantastic beyond measure, but overall the episode felt like filler. The finale didn’t even acknowledge it in their recap. The finale itself, however...

Let’s start with the bad.

There were a few moments that took be out of my immersion- mostly having to do with Ralph, and how his powers were utilized/visualized. I love Ralph as a character, he’s fun and I really hope he sticks around. But his stretchy-ness just did not suit the seriousness of this episode. When he and Bary combo’ed it up, the sight of Ralph’s girly-scream-making face just made me laugh when I should’ve been cheering. The same with him turning into a cape during their escape, and his voice coming out of DeVoe’s mouth once Ralph took back control. Changing those moments would’ve helped out a lot. The first and thrid example I’m not sure how, but that escape would’ve been 10 times better if Ralph had stretched his legs to run alongside Barry like Plastic Man in the comics and cartoons (I know, I know, he’s Elongated Man, but come on).

The other thing that upset we was... they just killed DeVoe. Erasing his consciousness is the same thing as killing him. Barry had been telling Ralph all season that heroes don’t kill. And what’s his solution in the finale? “Ralph, overwrite DeVoe’s mind like some kind of virus. Just erase him.” No hesitation, no real discussion, no one really protests. It’s not OOC, but it does feel like a sudden switch that could’ve easily been avoided. Just have it be that someone else suggested it first, Barry protests, but then Marlize throws support behind it by saying that DeVoe, the man she married and loved, is dead already. All that’s left is a monster that deserves to be erased. Then have Ralph complete his character arc by being all, “I can do this, Rookie, I can be the hero!” And Barry accepts it then. Boom, perfect.

Okay, enough bad. Time for the awesome.

First, that opening with Captain Singh. So cool, purple sky and we get to see the perspective the average person has on these world-ending events. Very nice. (Question, did everyone with pacemakers die because of Kilg%re’s powers?)

After that, the iconic image of Barry in the Thinking Cap, I love it. I love Cecile’s temporary powers being used in such a smart way. I love how quickly the episode gets into the action.

That scene with Cisco and Harry had me legit tearing up, which is a big deal because usually only Steven Universe can get me to do that. Tom is such a great actor.

Ralph’s re-appearance had me fist-pumping pretty hard, just because we got to see him at least one more time. I was hoping the other metas would come back, too, but sadly no.

That bait and switch with Good!DeVoe was well done. I was expecting them to actually follow it through, especially after last season’s attempt to reform Savitar, but they totally subverted me. Well done.

I cannot express my sheer joy at seeing the Matrix Revolutions style fight between the DeVoe avatars and our heroes. apart from things mentioned above, those scenes were simply spectacular.

I also really like what was happening in the real world, seeing the growing desperation and their fear of when, not if, DeVoe would find them. (why were Barry and Ralph so sweaty and oiled inside his mind?)

And when DeVoe did find them, seeing papa bear Joe almost shoot the bastard was great. Seeing the bastard toss Joe aside and almost murder Cecile while she’s about to give birth was... just plain horrifying. But in the best way.

That moment where Barry stood up with lightning in his eyes felt very triumphant, if a bit off. Usually at that moment he would charge into battle and kick major ass, but there was no ass to be kicked.

There’s a bit of a lull after that, in which DeVoe becomes basically an AI for a few minutes. I’m hoping one of 2 things will come of that in later seasons: one, DeVoe uploaded a copy of himself to the internet before gloating to Team Flash, much like what Ultron did in his movie; or two, Marlize ripped out the hard drive and kept it, with plans to use DeVoe’s intelligence to further her goals in the future. If she did, she will likely lose control of him. Either way, DeVoe could then become a recurring villain, one with significantly less of a threat level.

That satellite scene has some BS going on with how all the debris comes down in a small area, causes very little destruction, and kills no one that we can see. Not at all accurate. Also, why didn’t Cisco just breach the whole satellite to someplace lest populated? Say, the vampire dimension? Good riddance to that place. Sigh. They never make proper use of Vibe’s powers.

But that supersonic punch scene was like two scoops of cookie dough flavor in a waffle cone with chocolate chips and syrup on top. Mmmh. Go Nora!

Speaking of, that ending party was fun before she arrived, but once she did things got... Bitchin’? (Troll-lol-lol-lol-lol...)

So excited for next season, expect a post on that at some point, too.

TL;DR: Flash season 4 finale was amazing because of DeVoe, Raplh, Matrix fights, Falcone Punches, and Nora. There were a few problems, but it was overall the best Flash finale yet. 8.7/10!

[theharellan]

☄ ♞ ღ

☄ your favourite da:i codex entry

boyyyy da:i has the best codex entries in the series hands down, which is saying a lot b/c the lore for dragon age has always been fun to read. i loved all the entries in trespasser, given how many of my headcanons they confirmed

i’m going to go with one that, while i had these thoughts pre-trespasser, informed my opinions of solas and what he considers worth remembering based upon what elvhenan thought was worth putting in a library. among other things about solas:

The pages of this book—memory?—describe a pair playing, colliding in the air, bodies formed for kissing, stroking lines of heat as molten as the sun. The dance is fluid, roiling, never ending, lovers tangled in a laughing knot that rolls on for years, a promise never to be parted, whatever ages come.

An annoyed thought intrudes, from one who marked this memory after it was recorded:

“By the gods, find a private chamber!”

this codex is kind of simple, but also very informative? for one, these two are kissing for years, which when you think about solas in a relationship post-veil kinda makes me sad when i think about how much he would’ve loved to have this life for himself and ian if he hadn’t fucked up a whole bunch. it’s a simple thing that was lost when the veil was created, and time flowed and a linear pace.

also i’ve talked before about how when solas loves history, he isn’t just talking about big battles or moments that change history, which as someone who has studied history: that is what most white cis dude historians are into. i had to watch for two semesters senior year as this one dude struggled to find something original to talk about for his senior thesis for general patton when it’d have been easier to find something if he focused on something else in ww2. solas’s tendency to focus upon memories of ppl who aren’t remembered is just another reason i take issue wen anti-solas ppl try to characterise him as MRA-ish, but that’s a story for another meta.

what i was going with here is this: elvhenan thought this memory worth preserving, it’s still there even after some intern had to categorise it and write a finding aid and all that fun stuff. reading this and other memories from the vir dirthara, it’s honestly no wonder solas delights in memories of spirits of love playing matchmaker or baking.

♞ your favourite da:i mount

i already answered my fave, which is the tiddles majoris war nug, but i’m also very fond of the wild hart. it’s what merrill rides in my inquisitor pt. it’s bright purple and she loves it very much.

ღ your favourite da:i banter

me: don’t do a solas banterme @ me: don’t tell me what to do

Solas: How do you feel, Iron Bull? Do you need a distraction to focus your mind?

Iron Bull: Well, this area’s low on dancing girls, sadly.

Solas: King’s pawn to E4.

Iron Bull: You’re shitting me. We don’t even have a board!

Solas: Too complicated for a savage Tal-Vashoth?

Iron Bull: (Grumbles.) Smug little asshole. Pawn to E5.

Solas: Pawn to F4. King’s Gambit.

Iron Bull: Accepted. Pawn takes pawn. Give me a bit to get the pieces set in my head. Then we’ll see what you’ve got.

i love this whole set of banter b/c of how much it shows you about both bull and solas. solas using underhanded schemes, sacrificing his queen, distracting with a pawn, while the bishop wins the game. bull moves more as a unit, it’s the sort of fight i can only imagine both have fought before, strategies that have won them battles.

but i also love this banter b/c it shows how even if solas gets very angry at bull when arguing with him about the qun (probably the angriest he gets in banter– and i think this is b/c he knows how smart bull is and how close he is to breaking out of the toxic things the qun has taught him) he still has a pretty close friendship with him. other banter he answers questions for bull that he doesn’t when blackwall answers. also since ori discussed how solas helps cole calm down before a panic attack sets in, i’m going to discuss how solas was trying to help bull here.

he knows one of bull’s fears is the savagery of the tal-vashoth, and by playing mind chess with him he’s letting bull prove to himself that his mind is as sharp as ever. i just rly love bull and solas a lot, they’re both very smart people, and i think ppl don’t give their friendship in tal-vashoth bull pts enough credit.

[theonerypoet]

What the Future Told Me

My spin on the meeting between Barry and the mystery girl who we’ve already declared as Dawn Allen. Please, let me know what you think! I am just getting into fanfic so go easy! Thanks for reading : )

Deep breathes, Barry.

In. Out.

In. Out.

He coached himself with his eyes closed, willing his heart to keep time with the slow breaths he inhaled through his nose and out his mouth. Barry’s hand trembled slightly as he fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, and he honestly couldn’t tell if it was excitement or nerves. If he was nervous, he couldn’t figure out for the life of him why. He had been dreaming of this day since he was 11 years old. Still, the thought of Iris getting ready just down the hallway caused the butterflies to attack his stomach as mingling thoughts and emotions rushed through him.

Love. Adoration. Anxiety. Fear. Excitement. More Anxiety.

Cisco had blocked every attempt he and Iris made to sneak a kiss before she put on her dress. He went on and on about how he didn’t want them “ruining the enchantment” and “his patience being greatly rewarded.” Barry had finally relented, but he knew nothing could prepare him for the sight of Iris walking down the aisle, as she had so many times in his dreams. Each time, more thrilling than the last.

Only this time, he was getting the real thing. All over again, the thought would send his heart back into his throat while he practically vibrating with warmth and disbelief.

He just wanted to see her.

He knew the moment he laid his eyes on her, the anxiety in his gut would melt away, and he wouldn’t care about irrational, invading thoughts or that he was about to wax poetry to the love of his life in the form of overly sappy vows in front of close friends and family. He would focus only on her, and she would make it go away. She always did.

But for right now, he’d just have to deal with the twists in his gut, while the chatter around the room drove him insane along with the slow tick of time.

“Dude, you okay? You’re spacing over here.” Cisco clapped a hand on his shoulder snapping Barry from whatever realm he had been transported to.

“Yeah, I’m good, Cisco.” Barry cleared his throat, wiping his sweaty palms on his pant legs.

Cisco quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Actually, I think I might need a minute?” He sighed, letting his body drop into the chair behind him. Cisco saw that he was a bit beside himself and opted a smart remark for being a supportive best man. He smiled and called, “Alright, everyone out! The groom needs some time alone to throw up!” Making Joe’s concerned eyes snap to him. Barry shot Cisco a dirty look while he escorted the men out of the room, leaving him and Joe alone.

“Son?” Joe quirked an eyebrow and immediately Barry stood to reassure him.

“Joe, I really am fine. It’s just-”

“A lot to process, I understand.” Joe finished, nodding. “I’ll leave you to it.” He enveloped him in his signature hug. “If you need me, I’m in the open area. I’ll send someone in with some water.” Barry smiled gratefully and Joe turned and left the room.

Barry was a solitary thinker, always using alone time to sort through intense thoughts and feelings. Iris called it brooding. He had gotten so he didn’t mind her presence beside him during his introspection. Most times she was able to pull him from inside himself. She would look up at him with those devastatingly beautiful eyes and make funny faces until she got him to smile. It was just to let him know she was there, that it didn’t always have to be hard. It was times like those when he felt extremely lucky to finally have her in that way. She made everything worth it, and he was going make the most of his time with her every day of their forever.

He basked in the quiet, letting it soothe him the best it could and thought of her, wondering if she was as anxious to see him as he was her. A smile played on his lips knowing she was more than likely about to shoot to the moon with excitement. She was fearless. It’s why he always looked to her, even when they were kids. Yes, he had grown more confident in the last four years as The Flash, but from time to time he still felt his past-self peeking from behind the new red exterior more often than he’d like to admit. Niggling fear still swirled inside him, and he began to wonder if it was stemming from something deeper. Before he could continue the thought, a rapid knock on the door interrupted him.

He opened the door to reveal a small, young woman around Iris’ height staring at him with wide hazel eyes. Most of her brownish curly hair was pinned on top of her head, and she donned the same black and white outfit as the rest of the caterers. Only Barry had been introduced to the team of caterers beforehand. He didn’t recognize this girl. Barry decided not to think much of it, and chalked it up to her slipping past him without noticing. However, he did notice her death grip on the cart beside her. She still didn’t say anything, just stared at him like a deer caught in headlights emotions he couldn’t quite decipher reflecting in her lightly colored eyes. Did she know him?

Barry absentmindedly looked down and checked himself self-consciously. Deciding there was nothing wrong with him, he gently prodded, “Do you have something for me?” peering at the cart of beverages behind her.

“Oh! Y-yes, Mr. Allen?” She blinked, snapping out of it walking into the room as he moved aside to let her enter.

“You know, if you grip that any harder you’ll break it off with your super-strength.” He joked attempting to break the ice, picking up she was nervous. Maybe this was her first job.

She made a face, smiling a little. “So what’ll it be?” she chirped. “We have regular and sparkling water, soft drinks, or are we needing something a little stronger?” she eyed him intently, a hint of humor in her eyes.

“Sadly, it wouldn’t do me any good.” he caught himself, “Being drunk at my wedding, of course.” He rushed out, making her eyes light up with humor. He didn’t know why he was self-conscious about the first half of his statement. It could’ve meant anything.

“So, you mean you’re not some kind of meta-human whose metabolism won’t allow him to be affected by alcohol?” she joked.

Barry froze and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

“I was only kidding!” she giggled nervously, afraid she may have given something away. “What are the odds of that right?” She groaned internally. Why would she even say that?

“Yeah, what are the odds?” Barry chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Water is fine.”

She poured water in a glass and handed it to him.

“Why are you in here alone, anyway?” She asked watching him take small sips. “I thought people liked to be surrounded by family and friends before their wedding.” Her voice was very soft. He could tell she was genuinely curious.

“Not if you’re a nervous wreck like me.”

She smiled looking down. She was a nervous wreck like him, she thought back to her kindergarten Christmas program when she had her very first speaking part. The first time she became the self-proclaimed “scaredy-cat”. It was only two lines, but every second that ticked closer to her time to go on, the more she felt like was being eaten alive by her own fear. She cried and hugged her daddy’s leg begging him not to make her do it. He could have caved, lord knows she’d made him do it before, but he insisted she be his brave little girl. Her being the daddy’s girl she was, she wanted to make him proud. Her twin brother prided himself in being the more outgoing one. He got it from their mom.

“Why would you be nervous? I mean, you’re marrying one of the best women in the world…” Barry quirked an eyebrow and her eyes widened for a millisecond, “I…assume?” she supplied.

She was definitely making this weird. It was just harder than she thought it would be to pretend she didn’t know him, like she wasn’t dying to see his face. She didn’t think this through clearly, and if he found out who she was the consequences could be monumental on an existential level.

“You don’t even know us,” Barry said but the sparkle in his eye told the girl what she already knew. “We could’ve just met last month and be making the biggest mistake of our lives.”

“I don’t know… It’s just the lightness of everyone I’ve come across today. If you’re making a mistake, not one person here thinks so.” Her eyes sparkled with something he could’ve sworn was pure admiration. “I feel like I’m about to witness something really special.”

The girl gave him the most brilliant smile, and it could’ve been her youthful innocence, or that the way her smile reached her eyes reminded him of something so heartwarmingly familiar that his chest tightened with something he couldn’t really place. Still, he ignored it. It must’ve been the nerves manipulating his emotions.

“So, do you cater weddings just to talk the groom of the ledge?”

“No, you were a special case.”

“Really? On what grounds?”

“On the grounds of you looking as if you were going to faint when you opened the door.” She sat down. “By the way, you still haven’t told me why you’re nervous.”

Barry shook his head, sticking his hand in his pockets. He didn’t want to believe that he was about to spill his guts to a girl he just met who looked at least 8 years his junior, but something in her kind eyes begged him to trust her. And somehow, even after the swirling thoughts of past betrayal and his circle being infiltrated so that he could be manipulated, he did.

Cautiously.

“Don’t get me wrong, I am so thrilled.” He sighed, sitting next to her. “But I guess I’m a little afraid too.”

She nodded for him to continue.

“In my line of…work,” He began, choosing his words carefully. “I have experienced a lot of scary, life-changing things. With these things, came a lot of mistakes that I am still paying for at the expense of myself and my family.” Once he started, it was hard to stop the spilling of words from his mouth. “I have known Iris for over 15 years, and not once has she wavered as this unmovable source of strength and security in my life, even if she was angry at me.” He chuckled, thinking of a confrontational Iris showing up in Star Labs demanding answers about his alter ego. But once she stepped into the new world he was building, she never left. She made it clear she didn’t want to.

That was what worried him.

They had faced so many obstacles that threatened to rip holes in the fabric of everything they had woven together, and each time, it ended with him being ripped away from her. Yes, they’d come out stronger, but for how much longer? And when would be the final time she kissed him goodbye for him to never return? The 2024 newspaper article flashed in his mind as a reminder of what they still had to face.

“I just want to be there for her like she has for me, always. I don’t know if that’s guaranteed.”

“Have you talked to her about this?”

“Briefly,” He shook his head, and laughed. “She still hasn’t shown me anything other than her eagerness to be my wife.”

“Then, what’s the problem? You said it yourself that she’s always been there, so what? A wedding drives up the stakes?”

“Marriage is supposed to be a source of happiness for us both.” Barry sighed, “It’s just more to dangle in front of us to be snatched away.”

“You think too much.” She commented.

“Yeah,” he sighed glumly. If he had a dollar for every time someone told him this, he’d have enough money to buy another planet to whisk Iris away to. “It’s been known to get me in trouble.”

“You’re not really having second thoughts are you?” The girl looked at him so absolutely heartbroken it was almost comical. She must be the romantic type like him.

“No, of course not,” He scoffed.

Not marrying Iris? He was positive there wasn’t an Earth where he would give up the chance.

“I just have times when I wish things could be different than they are.” He shrugged, but it was tearing him up inside to think about the possibility of leaving Iris hurt and alone again because of the life they led. Especially now that they were getting married. But also, leaving behind the life that had become such a big part of them didn’t feel that good, either. The Flash was literally etched into his DNA now. He had the altered body chemistry to prove it.

“I bet she doesn’t.” She said. “You’re not giving her enough credit.”

“Excuse me?”

“If your lives are as…heavy as you imply, she’s probably thought about this a zillion times, and is still choosing you. Some people were just meant to lead extraordinary lives. No one said it was always fair or easy for everyone involved, but somehow the people you love makes it worth it.”

“You seem to know a lot about this,” Barry looked at her warily. “How?”

The young woman looked at him, as if she were struggling with her words. She finally began speaking again, her voice quiet and hesitant.

“When I was five, my father disappeared. I didn’t know much about his work; I only knew that it was dangerous and he saved lives. He’s my hero.” She was looking at him again with those shining, doe eyes. “My mother had to take on two rambunctious children, along with the weight of my father’s responsibilities after he was gone.”

She remembered the pitiful looks people gave them probably thinking her father had skipped out on them. Her mother handled it with so much grace, but we could see through the cracks. She was falling apart. She was embarrassed to show it, but she was tearing up at the thought of her mother crying into her hair when she thought she and her brother were asleep. She was too young to understand then, but she did now.

“I’m really sorry about that.” He did know a thing or two about loss, it must’ve been hard for her.

“Don’t be,” She held Barry’s eyes so intensely she might as well have been speaking to him. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Barry dropped his gaze to his hands.

“Your parents must really love each other, then?”

She nodded.

“Even before they said ‘I do’, they’d been through hell and back together. She’d suffered through losing him again and again with no reason to believe he would come back to her. To this day, she can still look me in my eyes and tell me it was the most exhilarating feeling to walk down the aisle to my father know she was finally securing her future as his wife.” She swallowed hard, trying to blink away the tears.

“Did he ever come back?”

The girl hung her head, closing her eyes against the onslaught of sadness. Barry had his answer and he knew how she felt. He missed his father more than anything. He raised his hand and hesitantly placed it on her back feeling the need to console her.

“How is she able to keep her faith in him? After all this time?” Barry asked, doubtful. If anything happened to him, his wish would be for Iris to move on.

“She said that she would never give up on ‘the impossible.’”

Her words struck Barry deep in his core, making him stand abruptly. His mind was transported to the endless conversations he’d had with Iris and Joe rooted in “the impossible.” It was only a phrase, but it followed him even through the tragedies he’d suffered as a child. It was a phrase that had become so interwoven into their vocabulary, into his life, that he had long ago internalized that it was a marker for the hero he had become. There was no way her word choice could be a coincidence. Only someone who knew him would use it in the context she just did. Someone very close.

She knew it was irrational and she didn’t intend to blow her cover, but the opportunity presented itself so perfectly. She realized this could be how she saved him. She knew he was a smart man. He could make sense of the things she’d littered before him and he could do something about it. Something they didn’t try before. Anything. Sitting here talking with him for the past 15 minutes filled her with a desperation for the man that had unwillingly been snatched away from her before they were ready. She wasn’t sorry. Not yet, at least. There was no way of knowing if it was enough yet, but there were two outcomes. She could’ve just screwed time or she could’ve saved her father from whatever oblivion he had been flung to for 15 years and counting. She hoped it was the latter. She’d just have to keep a close eye on the situation.

Please figure it out.

He stood there staring blankly across the room no doubt trying to piece together her connection to him. She smiled at him once more, wistful and sad getting another good look at him. She would hug him if she could.

Her time here up.

For now, anyway.

“Who are-” Before Barry could finish, the girl leapt for the door, telltale lightning trailing behind her.

What the hell?

He was aware she could be working for someone, but she didn’t seem as if she wanted to harm him. He had been fooled before though. Clicking the pieces of the puzzle together made it even more difficult for him to process let alone accept. His mind was still struggling to pursue the train of thought, but the possibility presented itself. Was she related to him?

What if she was their daughter?

He immediately felt silly for thinking it given the little evidence, but he had learned to accept that in his realm nothing was off limits. The everlasting impossible always found new ways to turn his life upside down. It would also explain her acting as if she were in on jokes he never told and the unusual enchantment of his relationship with Iris.

She smiled just like her.

Barry’s eyes widened in disbelief at the turn of events. He had fully intended to chase after her, but his mind was still playing catch-up with his body. While he was in his stupor, she had gotten a head-start. She was probably long gone, but he still needed answers. Right when he made the decision to take off after her, Joe and Cisco were running to the door.

“Barry? What the hell is going on?” Joe demanded, just as confused as he was. “We thought that was you!”

“I- Joe, I have no idea!” His brain was still spamming him with overwhelming thoughts of what had just occurred. He couldn’t explain it if he tried.

“You have no idea who it could’ve been?”

“This is going to sound insane, but my daughter? I think-” He stuttered.

“Cool!” Cisco breathed, “All the fun stuff happens to you!”

“Excuse me?” Joe blinked rapidly, rubbing at his forehead. “How do you know?”

“It doesn’t matter. I have to go after her!”

“Barry, wait!” Joe caught his attention by wrapping a strong hand around his shoulder, “Did she seem dangerous?”

“No, but she-”

“Was she in any danger?”

“I don’t think so, but-”

“Then it can wait.” Joe said, pointedly.

Barry opened his mouth to protest, but Joe intervened.

“Son,” he leveled with him. “Right this very moment, you have a fiancée who is beside herself with excitement because she’s marrying the man of her dreams in,” he peeks at his watch, “Ten minutes. We both know we have to take these moments as they come. There’ll just be something else tomorrow.”

“You’ve seen her?” Barry smiled, already a little calmed at the mention of Iris. “She really looks excited?”

“Over the moon.” Joe leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, “And beautiful.”

A smile bloomed across Barry’s face as he was once again encased in thoughts of Iris.

“Joe’s right, man.” Cisco said. “If whoever this girl is turns out to be a possible threat, she’ll be back.”

“Alright,” Joe smiled. “It’s time for you to take your places.”

Barry nodded. They were both right. He and Iris deserved this day. They weren’t separated from each other for six months for him to come back and skip out on his wedding to rush off after the unknown again. He had meant what he said about wanting to make the most of his time with her. Barry willed himself to push the girl’s troubling story to the back of his mind. Whether it was referring to them or not, he could use it as inspiration. He would accept that he couldn’t make the bad things in their life go away, but if everything crumbled to dust around him, he wanted her untouched. Deep down he knew it wasn’t entirely possible because she was a part of him, but he decided he was going to spend the rest of his life trying.

It was time for him to marry his girl.

You can also read here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/13194177

And here: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12778870/1/  

[therewas-a-girl]

Hey i love the insight you give to Oliver and im not so lucky to be an analytical (😬😊) and was wondering what does Oliver trusting himself have to do with him not telling Felicity? And what does Felicity mean when she says she understands now because of Billy? Those scenes have me very confused.

okay, anon here i am, finally. im so sorry for the  late reply, but i’ve had a couple of bad days preceded by some worse weeks T_T, and i’m in the middle of exams * T_T harder* , so free time is essentially not here for me.

BUT i’m on my break now - 

SO!

first of all, thank you! i find it  a little bit surprising tbh, cause i never saw myself as very analytical - i just sort of obsess over details and some things seem to make sense only to me?  or i just don’t know how to express them clearly enough. but im going to try my best, i promise. but don’t take me at my word, cause honestly, even as i write this, im still trying to understand this myself, so i’ll just… take with with a grain of salt

im going to take up the easy one first: felicity. mostly because, where felicity’s ‘i understand now because of Billy’, of all things, is concerned, my reaction is basically this :

im just not here for it, and i dont care to bullshit my way into circular meta/rationalization over it, because the subtext of it as an idea alienates and, frankly, enrages me.

Oliver… 

So, the first thing i thought when i heard Oliver say, ‘i dont trust myself’ is the fact that, this whole conviction he has right now (that he enjoyed killing, and that everything that is and went wrong in his life, stems form this truth he hid from himself)is based on his supposed clarity about himself and his nature that he gained when he was holed up and tortured by Adrian for 7 days. Aka, not to be trusted.

my messy reasoning goes kind of like this: 

in the flashbacks, we saw Felicity tell him that she still felt like he didn’t trust her, or anyone.  That she didn’t understand why, and ‘maybe you don’t understand why either’. Leaving us with the hint  that, until he does, and deals with it, he will keep making the same choices. 

Oliver did not contradict her - which makes me think he, in part, agreed with her. 

(the writers use characters for this kind of ‘truth exposition’ thing, so i’m guessing they wanted to tell is that yes, Oliver does think this, and doesn’t understand this about himself*) 

so he has this insecurity, this… missing understanding about himself. A secret, so to speak. A truth about himself that he is so afraid of, that he has buried it so deep inside that is not even buried; It’s suppressed at this point. Which is why he didn’t understand himself. 

Adrian kidnaps him. 

Now, i thought it important to remember that he is the villain. (and here is where the text and my interpretation of it mix a little) Adrian is super smart and intuitive about people, and also - important! - a lawyer. He knows how to ask questions, how to lead people on. All the while Oliver was there, Adrian was in his suit, walking back and forth like in front of  a jury, totally calm, asking one leading question after another; plus a lovely side dish of torture, because why not trigger all the lovely trauma. 

And he got what he wanted. He got Oliver to tell him exactly what he wanted to hear!

Basically Adrian made Oliver look at his deepest fear, and admit it as truth. (and it’s not that i think the whole ‘i liked it’ about killing is a lie. but i think its more complicated than ‘you’re a dangerous crazy person who enjoys killing. who knows what you might do’) . A truth that Oliver has, apparently, always known on a subconscious level. Something he has  never faced but always feared. 

(which is, ironically, what makes it so easy to believe. It’s always a lot easier to believe the bad things about ourselves - but even more so when you take into account how self-deprecating Oliver is. hello depression how are you?)

This truth he admitted has been behind his every hesitation, his every insecurity. The fear that goes kind of like this: ‘You are a bad person because you did horrible things, monstrous things, and it’s not that you’re not sorry. You  liked it’.  

To someone like Oliver, whose sense of morality, right and wrong, is mostly internal, personal, (but also informed by conventional understanding of good and evil ) and who relies on ideals, motivations, reasons, to help him navigate his daily life, this is basically shattering the ground he walks on.

Oliver has always seemed to me like he needed to believe that his actions were right. Extreme, but justifiable, doing the right thing. (i remember his whole speech in s1 when he made an offer to John about joining him. about how the rich people of Starling were stepping on the city’s throat and not caring who they hurt and if nobody was going to stop them, then ‘its going to be me’. it was to fulfill a promise, a duty - something he sometimes even seemed to resent. but to do that, he had to believe he was doing the right thing, though in flawed ways) 

…that he didn’t even think were that flawed since, in season 1, he was having some SERIOUS adjustments issues when it came to adapting to civilian life. Every time he went out there, he was ‘kill or be killed’ mentality of a war-zone, which had been his reality for 5 years. Took some time to shake that off and even be able to see that he didn’t have to kill to survive. (and holy shit am i digressing)

Now, it seems to me that Oliver took this admission when he was in that cell, and did not stop to examine the ‘why-s’ and ‘how-s’, or even doubt the conclusion Adrian led him to, based on who was ‘holding his hand’ trying to get him there. Because Oliver says it himself - ‘Adrian did not make me a killer’. He frees this truth from circumstance completely. (either the circumstances of his admission, or even, before that, his behavior/violence) 

I don’t even think circumstances matter to him; they’d probably sound like justifications and he’d feel even worse for trying to justify himself, when he thinks so lowly of himself. 

Obviously Felicity puts it in far better context than he is capable - or rather, willing -  to do, reminding him, in 5.20, of things that he maybe knows to be true, but that he thinks have no bearing on his actions, or his judgement of himself. (’Five years in hell did that. Five years dealing with this city’s worst criminals did that’). She immediately gives him context, that Oliver probably feels either guilty for considering, or like it has no bearing, because he still chose murder, and who does that? Bad people who are not to be trusted. The kind of people he used to kill, in fact. (a belief reinforced by the accidental murder of Billy Malone, actually, while we’re at it. Like, in Oliver’s head it probably sounds like this: ‘if you weren’t so fucking monstrous and a murderer, Malone would still be alive’.)

The crux of the question seems to be the clash (a push and pull) between the love and compassion he is capable of, all the good parts of him, moral parts (and judgments); and the violence he knows he is capable of. (and righteousness, the satisfaction he felt while enacting that violence.**). 

He probably thinks that this ‘truth’ Adrian ‘showed’ him/led him to, is something he’s “known” all along, but just been too much of a coward to admit to himself. 

Like, suddenly that ‘unknown reason why he doesn't trust anyone’ has a logic, and a clear definition. He was afraid to face it, but now he does, and it makes perfect sense! He is the problem! He doesn’t trust himself because – the goodness (to simplify it) inside him, the part of him that feels guilt now, never let him get close to people he loved, even though he wanted to, even though he needed them. It always made him hesitate, because essentially, he was protecting everyone around him, instinctively, from what he knows to be violent and dark inside him. 

He also lied to himself and others he got involved with (John and Felicity, for starters)  about why he was doing what he was doing. That he is no better than the people he used to murder, and he even got his best friends involved 

and he forgets that his ability to feel all this guilt over this kind of thought is, essentially, what makes him so different, and sets him apart from this person he is so afraid he is. 

EDIT: i almost forgot that you asked me about how this relates to Oliver not telling Felicity about William - and I’m guessing, it’s not specifically about William. That omission was generalized as a lack of trust, and this ^^ whole thing, seems to be aimed to explain why. I think Oliver thought she would for sure explode in his hands, a conviction fueled by Barry’s ‘you broke up’ idea. And that he thought she would for sure leave him, not love him enough to forgive him? Not love him enough, essentially, because why would she? 

The feeling of being a failure for missing out on his son’s life (were it anyone else, i wouldn’t say he takes this blame too on his shoulders, because its so clearly Moira’s and Samantha’s doing for keeping him away, but this is Oliver! Of course he would) probably added to the guilt and the certainty that he wasn’t good enough for her to hang around. 

A self fulfilling prophecy, in truth, and a also a deep misunderstanding of Felicity’s character. More than the lie/omission, i find this, the reason behind it, to be Oliver’s real mistake. 

A mistake of course that is, sadly, in character, because Oliver has historically had trouble believing that the people he loves actually love him back. Which leads us back to ‘why would they’, and the reason why he thinks that, which is basically that he thinks he’s a shit person not worthy of anyone’s love. Not always, but most of the time.

It’s such a BRILLIANT manipulation really, because on someone who is like Adrian, this kind of lie wouldn't work! (Adrian killed his wife. In cold blood. he has exactly zero problems being the way he is.) 

It takes someone like Oliver for this  to work. Someone who is essentially ALL HEART. Who is kind and good and who, on a deep human level, abhors the violence that was done to him and that he has done to others, despite knowing that ‘it is a violent world and - as the world has taught him - it only responds to violence.’ It takes someone moral enough that, even while enacting murder, even while feeling that killing evil men was good, would still know it is wrong. And hate himself for it. For being capable of it, for looking at the world in the  face and thinking it is necessary. 

You can be led to think something is necessary, and still hate it. I think Oliver is an idealist, so it fits that he would hate having to lower himself to the level of nastiness the world around him responds to. (it’s so good for him that he is a mayor, actually. he can affect change, without employing ‘talents’ that came to him though pain and loss and tragedy. skills - violence - that he probably hate using by now, at this point in his journey) 

I really hope I’m making at least some kind of sense. Im sure this is like, only a portion of what is really going on with Oliver; or an angle into it? idk… 

Personally, when I imagine Oliver’s mind, I usually think of him floating on the surface of a really deep lake. And this lake is his personality/psyche, the exploration of which has been affected by his history. Said history has been such that he has explored corners of this lake that to most people, remain obscure all their lives. This is not a good or bad thing. it chance. Some people are pushed to the extremes and learn new things about themselves. Some never have to. Oliver was pushed, and he knows the depths of this lake, the hidden caves, the scary wildlife in the dark. It’s not like he went to those depths because he wanted to - but that doesn’t matter. What he saw there, he cannot unsee, unlearn***. 

Now he is on the surface again - but he knows the geography of himself. Most people whose feet dont touch the soil think the depth goes a couple of feet more. Oliver knows it doesn’t. And he knows that, if necessary, he could go to those depths again, if he has to. 

I mean, people rarely know what they’re capable of in extreme situations. Most people think choices made in these kinds of cases reveal you. And Oliver thinks those choices revealed a killer. And despite how balmy the surface waters are, he knows that down there it’s ugly so, he puts up these limits. You get to swim up to here where its safe, but not further out. Even if you want to. Felicity totally wanted to know all about him, but Oliver thought, wow no. Down there its ugly and gross and if she sees that, she will not just leave. She will also hate me. And to Oliver, being someone who feeds so much on the opinions of the people he loves - that  is basically his worst nightmare. I swear some of his most radical actions have been because he was so resistant to someone he cares about thinking badly of him. 

Anyways, this got ridiculously long. 

* the next time anyone tells me Arrow is good representation for someone with PTSD and mental illness, I’m gonna fucking FIGHT that person, because this is prime example of these asshole writers mystifying this illness. Why, you might ask. Because Oliver’s trust issues can directly and unequivocally be traced to his trauma. Its not that hard. it is not a mystery and treating it as such, and making everyone around him ignorant of this simple fact, demonizes (so to speak) his condition, instead of ‘representing’ it in any positive way. 

At this point Oliver’s isolation is beyond logic - or suspense of logic. As of right now there are two soldiers, two geniuses and a cop on his team! it makes them all into either idiots, or nasty, cause they have either trained to expect this (Dinah, as a cop, i imagine knows what PTSD is) or been through it (John, Rene) or are fucking geniuses who can fucking google (Felicity, Curtis). By now even nonexistent baby Sara would be able to understand the reasons behind Oliver’s patterns of behavior. It is not rocket science AND EVEN IF IT WAS - FUCKING GENIUSES IN THE HOUSE???!!!

I’m just so tired of Oliver’s trauma and violent re-traumatization being used (exploited) and some ‘so hard to understand’ baffling plot point, instead of being dealt with.

** I dont think Oliver ever stopped to consider that his life during those five years was hell, and that that means a lot of things. It means that it was out of control for a long time. that he was prey for a long time. and that it is absolutely normal to feel a sort of satisfaction when you are not the prey anymore. and that its normal to feel good when you ‘replace evil with death’ like he did in season 1. and that plenty of veterans would be able to tell him that soldiers hate war and t lohe ve war too, and that this is what happens when you live in this… almost liminal violent reality for so long. we are human and we adapt to whatever we have to, to survive. 

***I actually think this is what’s happening with Felicity too, only instead of a lake, with Felicity I imagine a road. Like those that stretch through the desert. She only sees this one road and she is so sure that she has to walk it, because it feels righteous to her. Necessary. 

Oliver and John though, they know where that road leads. They know that the choices she will make along the  way that will feel necessary - that they may even BE necessary - but she may eventually regret making them. Because this extreme, ruthless clarity she’s living, and which they have lived, pushes away all reasons why some things are wrong, but those reasons, John and Oliver know, eventually (if you’re lucky) will come back. And the  choices made during that time might give Felicity insight into things she is capable of that she is probably going to hate. And hate herself for making them. 

And they’re just trying to warn her that this road she is walking on is literally the middle of nowhere. That there are no stop signs to tell her when she’s gone too far and that she will know only when she is too deep in it, and she will hate herself for it, just like they hate themselves for some of the things they  have done, that they wish they  never had to do. 

I’m going with this interpretation, instead of the weirdly sexist-vibe of ‘you’re too pure to be fucking human’ angle.