#like there is pity there and it's an ok basis but it's very. we are six sweeps old

[weather-cluddy]

Man, today's question really reminded of how little interest Shidou seems to have in Amane as a person. He says he's frustrated that he doesn't have the time to "do something" about her, but even when she approached him, he didn't even try to reason with her or comfort her.

She tries to warn him that he's committing an unforgivable sin that will damn everybody, he's just like "Now, what could you be talking abooout? Anyways, just stop worrying about it and help me, okay?". And when she insists, his reply is "Ok, wow, you're so spoiled. Your parents must've been real soft on you until now, but that's not gonna fly with me, alright? I'm a responsible adult, I'm going to ignore you no matter how much of a brat you are"

He just dismissed Amane's very obvious mental breakdown as a mere temper tantrum, presuming that Amane doesn't truly care about anything she's espousing and that she's just trying to test boundaries. May I also point out how Shidou makes zero mention of Amane in his voice drama, either as a threat or as somebody who, like Fuuta and Mahiru, is in a precarious mental state?

And that casts a really different light on what "having the other adults deal with Amane" is supposed to mean. Is it really about making her more able to cope with the situation? Or just getting her out of the way? If it's about helping her, why does it matter so much that the adults do it?

Say, Muu and Haruka are in the best physical and mental shape out of everybody, and they have plenty of free time. Since Haruka says they're "sticking close" to Shidou, why doesn't he take a moment to suggest they should try to spend a little time with her, make her feel a bit better? Even if they can't convince her to change her mind, it'd at least useful to know in more detail what she's planning, right? After all, Shidou is willing to put his utmost ideal (dying to atone for his sins) on hold for the sake of the injured prisoners. Surely he must be very concerned about anything that could threaten their care, right?

Even if you take is as meaning "Well, the adults have the duty to care for the younger ones, so everyone under eighteen is exempt for responsibility", it's kind of really weird to put all the responsibility on three people having their own mental and physical breakdowns (Mahiru, Mikoto and Fuuta), one guy who said re:Amane that "we can't worry about that now" and "We'll just wait until the situation changes" last time Shidou spoke to him, and who's carrying the weight of being the only line of defense against Kotoko (Kazui) and one woman who's already taking mental care of Mahiru and also doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with anyone else (Yuno). Does a few years of age really give you that much more capability, such that it outweighs everything else going on?

So the fact that Shidou takes the trouble of specifying that an adult ought to help Amane really sounds like he's, at best, blinded by ideology. Only adults can help Amane because only adults are capable of taking meaningful action on anything, and only they have real ideological commitments that can beat a child's silly whims. At worst, Shidou is annoyed that Amane is threatening his worldview of "adults act, children obey", so he wants somebody to step in and bring her back into line. Of course, that person has to be an adult if they're to truly reinforce his perspective instead of opening a different kind of hole into it.

And this is hardly the first time he dismisses a child's thoughts on the basis of their age. In Molech, when Es tells him to treat them with respect as the warden, Shidou's answer is essentially "But we DO have a big age difference, so everything else is irrelevant. Let me pat your head to show how much I pity you, total stranger who's already annoyed at me for being condescending". At this point, either Shidou is being deliberately obnoxious or he's so thoroughly drunk his own kool-aid that it doesn't even register on the shallowest level when a kid tells him not to do something. Kids just go agoo-goo until they hit eighteen, yeah? No need to listen to their babbling.

And it's not just Shidou treating Es as both warden and child, he doesn't seem to have any respect for their ability to form their own opinion as a warden either. He literally goes "Hey, why go through the trouble of actually looking at evidence? Just take me at my word, way easier and faster". Even though by this point it's also obvious how much pride Es takes on being the guard and carrying out Milgram's mission, and that they don't necessarily trust Shidou. Again, either mockery or a frightful failure of basic pattern-recognition when the pattern doesn't match what Shidou expects from a child.

And to tie this back to Shidou's "my heart goes out to you" comment, sure, he's so concerned about any mental toll being the warden might take on Es… But he's still insisting on being murdered by them. Why? Surely Shidou of all people would know that murder can be hard on the killer. And if he wanted to die so badly, surely he can wait until Milgram is over and kill himself then, right? No need to make it Es' responsibility.

One of his last lines in the VD is "I feel sorry that you had to be given this role. And, I truly apologise for being so insistent about sentencing me to death as well… But, you’re perfect. You’ll give me the ending I’m most suited for." So apparently the thing is that being murdered by a child, specifically, would be very satisfying to Shidou, and Es' pain is secondary to that.

Kinda undermines all that talk about how tragic the situation is, doesn't it? In one of the app conversations, we see him being overwhelmed by sadness while grading Amane's homework, and he says "If everything about MILGRAM is true… why did a child like you have to become a murderer? Just imagining what sort of circumstances must have led to that, it makes me so sad…". But apparently his sadness isn't so strong that it'll stop him from setting up that sort of circumstances.

The only way this makes sense to me if it's he's subsumed Es' choices into his own so utterly that he can't imagine anybody, not even Es, could possibly hold them responsible if they did kill Shidou. It was simply suicide with Es acting as a tool for it, no more guilty than a bullet. I'm sure you can see how utterly dismissive this is of Es' autonomy.

TL;DR: I'm sure Shidou loves the idea of children, but so far he's been severely lacking in empathy for actual children when they deviate from his concept of how they ought to be or when their wellbeing comes in conflict with his ideals.

[verfound]

"For all the times I still wanted to punch Adrien in the face, it's still better than S4/5 at least? 😂"

What did he do in the movie?

It's honestly more of the same, so truthfully speaking I don't know why I was surprised.

(Spoilers for the Miraculous Movie below the cut.)

When he first meets Ladybug, it's immediately nothing but flirting and going off about how she's his "sidekick". I can't entirely blame him for that, because there's a scene with Plagg later on where it seems like that's the rhetoric Plagg's feeding him, so ok? Not entirely his fault.

He's still running hard with the pity parties and the "no one has it as bad as me woe woe what to do?" thing. I will never be able to hear Careless Whisper again without laughing my ass off. So. Thanks for that, Zag. 😂

And in the movie's defense, they do try to show more interactions between Adrien and Marinette. There's double dates (or at least hangouts) with Nino and Alya. Marinette and Adrien are actually shown talking about his mother on a bench/spending time together alone. She's still awkward around him, but she can at least hold a conversation? So there's interaction. There's a BASIS for Adrien feasibly liking Marinette AND Ladybug (though, to be perfectly clear, he is still very much 100% "Ladybug or nothing" - and don't even get me started on his "The girl behind the mask saved my heart" bullshit). I still don't think Adrien would be a good long-term boyfriend/spouse material, but as a first boyfriend at 13-15? I could see it.

But then you get the Confession and Final Battle, and the little bit of "ok maybe I can see it" was lost again. Chat sets up this big elaborate "I like you" scene, and Ladybug flatout tells him in the song "I like you, I could like you, but I love someone else" - and whoops, there's Adrichat again. He immediately starts with the "BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?!" shit, handling the rejection with all the grace of a bowlegged bullfrog. And maybe I could forgive him for that - he's just been rejected, he's allowed to be hurt - if it wasn't so painfully On Brand for Chat and I didn't have five seasons of baggage making me dislike this guy?

Cut to the next day (or whenever), when Marinette asks Adrien to the school dance. And Adrien just...rejects her. Because "he's in love with someone else". And sure, that's fair, she did the same thing, but he does this in the middle of the hall at school? And maybe that's on Marinette for asking in such a public place, but it immediately sets it up for everyone in the hall to be snickering/mocking this already crazy insecure girl (let's not even touch the vaguely suicidal themes they gave her that I'm praying are just poor translation choices) - and of fucking course Chloé is right there to pounce. I honestly don't know who I was more frustrated with in this scene - Marinette, Adrien, or the writers - because it just smacks of more "Let's beat Marinette into the ground, shall we?" (See: lying facedown in a rainy New York street chasing after Sunshine's limo.)

So Hawkmoth, meanwhile, has decided that "If I can't bring Emilie back, I will join her!" and akumatizes himself? Because that's a great idea? And kicks off Apocalypse Now. Paris is burning, magical bombs going off all over, Hakwmoth on the Rampage. Ladybug runs into the fight and is getting her ass handed to her. She needs Chat. She's calling Chat. Where the fuck is Chat, you ask?

Lying on his fucking bed whimpering while he listens to Careless Whisper and Paris burns right outside his bedroom windows.

I wish I was lying. This is your hero. This is the guy the show is painting as Absolute Perfection, Sunshine of My Soul.

I should note that a device the movie worked in is that the Miraculous will glow/pulse? I'm still unsure if it's just when an akuma's on the loose or if it's a sign that their partner is calling them on the comms, but either way Adrien could see from his glowing ring that he needed to get his ass up and go fight. But his feelings were hurt, and holding a pity party was more important than saving the city.

So after Plagg forces him to get his ass up and do his job, he swings in to save Ladybug from Imminent Smooshing, and immediately starts a snit. "Oh, your boyfriend too busy to lend a hand?" (I'm not even paraphrasing. That's the actual line.) And, once again showing he really can't learn and ignoring everything they've set up for the "we're stronger together/we're partners" thing, Chat tells her "I've got this - stand down" and barrels ahead to fight Hawkmoth himself.

Now, up until this point, I'd like to note that we have seen NOTHING of their powers. There have been no Cataclysms, no Lucky Charm, no Miracle Cure. They've used the yoyo and staff, but it looks like the extent of their powers is enhanced abilities and weapons? While Chat's fighting, he DOES power up a Cataclysm. It's unclear if he knew about this power/used it beforehand or if this was the first time he was using it.

Regardless, he swings, misses, and accidentally Cataclysms the Eiffel - which is immediately destroyed.

And that's kind of where I just lost it with Chat? I was screaming at Min while I watched this, and she reminded me we don't know about the Miracle Cure yet. So Movie!Chat is doing all of this without the reassurance/confidence that Ladybug can Fix It. At least in the show he's seen her powers and knows it will be all right? It's no less reckless, but he knows it'll be all right in the end. He has no reassurances here.

What's even worse, when it's all said and done and Ladybug DOES cast the Miracle Cure? We're clearly shown this is the first time she is using this power. So she didn't even know she could fix it in the moment. So Chat's here, letting the city burn, destroying national monuments, and it's all cool. No plan - just nine lives, night vision, and more puns than you can swing a stick at. Cool. Cool cool cool. 🙃

It's just...Adrien. He's perfectly on brand - I should not have been surprised. All of this shit he did in the movie he's done before in the show. (See: all his fans clutching their pearls and going "My boi would NEVER!", and now their fucking boi fucking did twice. In two separate canons. I'm sure if I read any of the comics/novelizations he'd do it there, too.)

I cheered when the Eiffel debris knocked him out in the Seine. LB should have let the lava get him. 🙄

Basically, I'm not entirely mad I watched the movie. It had some great moments. Guardian School Dropout Fu screeching in Marinette's face the first time they meet how "EVERYONE WILL DIE" was excellent. Hawkmoth in a top hat? Loved it. Hawkmoth's villain song was hilarious - I want to know if Juleka knows about the Mountain of Skulls and regularly petitions Kitty Section to rehearse there (and please let's discuss the Supervillain Prison already waiting in the catacombs?). Luka being RIGHT THERE - Juleka telling him all about the girl that blew up the chem lab the first day of school, be still his Boat Kid heart. I'm sure I still enjoyed it more than S4-5.

But no, it did not sway me to the Sunshine side. 0/10 would not recommend this kid again.

[serenhob]

(To preface I am physically disabled, being tested for autism and have several autistic friends who share their thoughts with me and I have been thinking about this for a weird amount of time so...enjoy I guess)

So abelism, while a lot of people may brush it off as something that doesn't really affect people or doesn't even exist at all it is a form of bigotry that has thrived since the dawn of humanity and continues to do so. It is also the most casual form of bigotry so much so that is literally ingrained in our soicety, covering a broad range of things such as language and architecture. It has even been the basis for racist and queerphobic redirect, not just itself.

To start, what is abelism? It contains a multitude of different things but is, to put it simply that idea that disabled people are lesser and in some cases even inhuman, this is not just seen in direct hatred and prejudice but can also be very covert by way of pity and infantilisation.

Most bigotry is structured like this wherein the hated group is looked down upon and not worthy of respect, for example racism, in it's many forms over the centuries, has always relied on the idea that white people are 'superior'. You can see this presented in many ways but I think one of the simplest was the changed perception of Neanderthals after it was discovered the percentage of Neanderthal dna in white people was significantly higher than in other ethnic groups, they went from incredibly stupid to surprisingly smart just to further push this narrative. Like racism and queerphobia, abelism has had a long history but I'm gonna touch on a few things that I find particularly egregious.

Language:

One of the surprising things you find when researching the English language (and I'm sure many others but I am sadly only fluent in one :()is the amount of insults that come from actual terms for disabled people (and women's anatomy which is weird). For example the word 'lame' now refers to something boring but it used to refer to someone who is unable to walk properly or without pain, using this definition it would apply to me but has come to be an insult. Intellectual disabilities are most under fire from this divergence from medical term to insult, both stupid and idiot used to refer to someone with an Intellectual disability but now are words a lot of people use in everyday speech.

The most recognisable word from this transition is the R-Slur as it, like idiot, used to also be a medical term but the way people were using it literally made medical professionals have to change the name. It really shows you how abelist the wolrd is to consider people were saying this with enough malice I literally can't use it in this post. Again, it was once a medical term and is now a slur. The discourse surrounding the word is so disturbing to me, I saw a man once saying its just a jokey thing to say to your mates but obviously you wouldn't call an actually disabled person that. Using it on non-disabled people doesn't make it OK, you're still using the term in a degrading way and furthering stigma around disabled people. It is worrying to see people going down a similair path in the increase of using Autistic in an insulting way, earlier this year people were saying 'acoustic' aswell to get around it (similair in the way people would use words similair to the r-slur and spelling out slurs (especially homophobic ones)in sentences by capitalising the first letters) and its really horrible imaging psychologists have to change the DSM because of something like that.

The way we also genrally refer to being disabled as the worst thing in the world and the amount of pity that goes along with that. Like I saw a video earlier wherein this woman was trying to spread positivity but the way she went about it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth, she was essentially saying that your insecurities mean you are blessed with the ability to have them, which is a nice sentiment but she used examples like be glad that you are insecure about your eye bags because that means you are blessed with the ability to see them. And be grateful for being insecure about your ankles (or smth I didn't really understand this bit) because it means you can walk. It feel very weird in the sense it reminds me of that one Laika studio movie where the moral is that sight is the basis of humanity. You tried but in a very 'poor sad disabled people, be glad you you them' way. To be clear I'm not annoyed with this woman specifically just pointing out how casual this seemed to be, not intended to be harmful but an ingrained sort of view that many seem to have. Disability isn't a good thing nor a bad thing, it is neutral like most things in life. And I for one would always prefer to be more positive about the thing that will effect me for the rest of my life.

Hereditism:

Hereditism is a theory put foward by scientists in about the 1800s that suggested that people biologically inherit traits from their family members. It has existed in part for years before (which is why we have hereditary monarchies, the suggestion that royal blood is needed to rule) but was only really given a name and dedication in the 1800s. It's fundamental principle is nature over nurture and thus bad people are born bad as a result of their parents. You can see how this would be much loved by bigots and especially racists. One of the biggest reasons that old white men put foward to say why black people were 'lesser' is that they were all intellectually disabled (lovely dose of abelism there) and their lives were worth less as a result because they would have no meaningful attribution to soicety except through labour (just to make clear these are beliefs other people held not me, racism is wack and so disturbing). And what was the integral tool in proving this, hereditism of course, if people inherit things from their parents that must mean that every single black person was the exact same (Idk how they could stand eachother, like imagine being that stupid). Hereditism was also used to argue why disabled people shouldn't be able to have children and be sterilised. Hereditism is the basis of eugenics (the theory that the human race can be breed to be perfect by murdering or sterilising the undesirables then inbreeding everyone else) which we all know Hitler famously used in his attempted genocide of the Jewish people, anyone queer, non-white people and of course those with disabilities.

Aspergers:

I find it grim to go over Hitlers entire thing surrounding disabled people so I'm going to focus on a small but disgusting part of it instead of the whole. Aspergers syndrome became a part of the DSM (diagnostic and statistic manual of mental health disorders) in 1994 and it remained a part of it until 2013 when people were revamping a plethora of neurological conditions that seemed to fall under the term Autism (or Austim spectrum disorder) and discovered the history behind the name. 'Aspergers' used to refer to a type of autism that was lesser support needs however, it was named for Hans Asperger who was a Nazi psychologist who was in charge of deciding which autistic children were to be euthanized. The ones he deemed suitable to live were genrally lacking in social skills but had a talent that made them 'worthy to be a productive member of soicety'. The children with higher support needs and had things like mutism were euthanized and thus the DSM deemed the name unsuitable as nobody wants to immortalise the name of a child murderer.

Autism speaks:

Autism speaks is a charity devoted to helping parents of autistic children and autistic children, though it focuses more on the former than latter. There a lot of problems with it which I will go down in a list.

1.Infantilisation of autism:

They are devoted to autistic children, autistic adults have no place with them, maybe due to the fact they can complain about how their image is used. It also adds to the stigma around autistic adults as people forget they exist. Getting support as an adult is also hindered as it may be unavailable or make work places hostile should they request them.

2. The focus on parents of autistic children:

They often pay more attention for how hard it is to function as a parent rather than the child's needs and help they do offer often just teaches masking rather than helpful behaviours/coping mechanisms.

3. The fact they didn't find taking a cure out of their mission statement until 2016, 11 years into the charity:

This seems as good a place as any to talk about 'the mystical cure'. For most people disability is incurable (myself included), and focus on trying to do this rather than helpful coping mechanisms and support is not good. It's neglectful and not helpful, i know it might seem optimistic but it's better to meet someone where they are at than ignoring them completely to focus entirely on something they may never get to.

4. I am autism:

Autism speaks frames autism as an infectious, deadly and terminal disease in an ad they broadcasted on live television in 2009. The full thing is on YouTube but here is a section of the transcript

{I am autism. I’m visible in your children, but if I can help it, I am invisible to you until it’s too late. I know where you live. And guess what? I live there too. I speak your language fluently. And with every voice I take away, I acquire yet another language. I work very quickly. I work faster than pediatric aids, cancer, and diabetes combined And if you’re happily married, I will make sure that your marriage fails. Your money will fall into my hands, and I will bankrupt you for my own self-gain. I don’t sleep, so I make sure you don’t either. I will make it virtually impossible for your family to easily attend a temple, birthday party, or public park without a struggle, without embarrassment, without pain. You have no cure for me. Your scientists don’t have the resources, and I relish their desperation. Your neighbors are happier to pretend that I don’t exist—of course, until it’s their child. I am autism. I have no interest in right or wrong. I derive great pleasure out of your loneliness. I will fight to take away your hope. I will plot to rob you of your children and your dreams. I will make sure that every day you wake up you will cry, wondering who will take care of my child after I die? And the truth is, I am still winning, and you are scared. And you should be. I am autism. You ignored me. That was a mistake.}

I don't think I have to explain why this is bad.

5. The documentary they did about autistic parents venting about their children: I am concerned with a particular section in which this woman calmly talks about the fact that everyday when she goes to drop her kids off at school she wants to drive them off a cliff to kill herself and her autistic daughter (who is in the room) and the only thing stopping her is that her other daughter is 'normal'. And they aired this on TV. The woman clearly needs some sort of help and maybe her children taken away from her because that is not normal or ok. This isn't even touching on behavioural therapy that still occurs in which therapists try to train autistic children to not stim in order to make them more palatable to genral soicety. A lot of abelism is presented this way, people trying to force disabled people to make their disability their own problem to not 'burden' anyone else with it. That us simply asking for accommodation is selfish. Which leads to the next one:

Architecture:

I hear all the time that the world 'isn't built for disabled people' but that is simply because soicety doesn't want it to be. We are improving, with tactile pavements and ramps and blue badges but it still isn't good enough. No old buildings older that 2010 are required to have disabled access meaning that a lot of disabled people are missing out on museums and other historical sights. It impacts people's lives terribly as if you can't access a building it means your job and education is limited. There are a lot of very old collages and universities where I live and there are some I cannot attend simply due to the fact nobody bothered to install a lift. Even in my old school there were classes were I would have to be alone in a room because there wasn't a lift in the building despite there being like 50 sets of stairs.

I believe this is all due to ignorance and refusal to spend money on disabled people. We make up around 16% of the global population, that is about 1 in 6 people. Yet the issue is ignored. There is more attention and accommodation afforded to billionares (who may I remind you make up less than 1% of the population so something isn't adding up). Infantilisation: Is to treat someone who is not a child, like one. It is done to disabled people very regularly. It's very creepy, I can't lie, my teachers used to do it and it just really disturbed me how they would literally use a different tone of voice in addition to acting like I was incompetent. It is not normally done out of malice but for some reason people don't know how to act around disabled people (I'm not gonna smack you with my cane or fall on the floor if you treat me like a person, just be normal), so they resort to assuming that we can't do anything. Or assuming our interests, dumbing down conversation, just genrally acting like disabled people are lesser. So, just remember, disabled people are people so treat them accordingly. To close off I'm just going to talk about abelism used in other forms of bigotry. I already talked about racism but again it was thought that black people all have intellectual disabilities which lessend their worth in the eyes of white able bodied people. Queer peoples identifies are often put down to mental illness (especially trans people) which makes people see it as something to be 'fixed' or 'corrected' which leads to conversion therapy similair to what I said with autism.

On a similair note neurodivergent people's queer identities are also seen as less valid simply because they are neurodivergent. Stigma around both is used in fear mongering for homophobes a lot. Autism and queer identity overlap a lot, as researchers believe that autistic people genrally care less about societal norms. Another strange thing some think about disabled people is that we are all completely aroace to use the idea that people who don't experience sexual or romantic love are inhuman to push that we are inhuman. This is untrue but also disabled people, like everyone else, can have a broad range of sexualities and gender identities (I'm ace but I'm also homoromantic (I am in love with Chappell Roan) whereas my friend is a lesbian and my other friend is straight (both these friends are autistic I'm not just adding this info randomly))

I just yapped a lot. Anyway thankyou for coming to my tedtalk

Also this is not touching on a lot of other severely messed up things because I am not educated enough on them and I don't want to spread misinformation <3

[professorchaos]

LOSING IT /pos over kenny as a hope player considering hope is faith, authenticity, and sexuality & that in canon they were the product of a cult ritual. also savior status? considering it thoroughly

however maid, mage, or page of rage butters are masterworks ideawise. placing her is hard but she's almost definitely hope-rage dichotomy bound imo.

i cannot for the life of me place stan but I could see a doom player there. non sequitur but that boy is ripe to become tma desolation entity. knight of void meshes well with some fanon interp. heart could also be a good one? identity? puzzle of a man. wish m&t would put more effort into characterization but "sp is not for us" is unforch a given

kyle is a mage or heir of blood.

wendy actually gives me mind vibes ie choices and their outcomes, justice, pragmatism. lawyerly demeanor. but im no expert. i feel like shed be more of an active class

space bebe (the thought of her being vital to the game .)

whenever this line of thought stresses me out i think about kernelsprites. so much satisfying material there

thank you so so much for sending me this ask i have been thinking about it and thinking about it. i NEED to know your thoughts on kernelsprites bc they have me stumped!!! (that is, for a troll au at least... obviously for the kids as, well, kids, that's a whole other matter... oh my god. the funny little games to be played in that space lol) kyle as heir of blood is fun i feel like he would not enjoy that title especially prior to understanding and growing into it (well, duh - blood players). mage however feels even more fitting for him. he's so stressed out so often (for good reason) n i feel like that particular combination of class and aspect would definitely be in line with that stressed-out world-weary personality of his. honestly yeah i could see wendy as mind! and DEFINITELY bebe as space... or maybe life? at least fanon interpretations of her remind me of fanon interpretations of feferi (who incidentally is one of my ultimate fav hs characters so i feel instantly warmed to bebe in this au at the potential comparison). she also def has some of kanaya's fussiness and etc so space really does feel fitting. ehh... there's so much room for characterisation with the girls that it's kind of hard to pinpoint what they "would" be so maybe it's more fun to focus on what they "could" be. in which case, i kinda feel like bebe as a rogue of space could give her some interesting characterisation + struggles. HOWEVER i am biased towards rogues because nepeta and roxy are kinda my hashtag AHEM! furever girls so i kinda love the idea of ANY of the girls as rogues (bebe... heidi... nichole mostly) i saw someone place eric as heart and i'm curious about the idea but i really need to think on it more. he's even more of a puzzle than stan! (who, if you couldn't tell, is definitely the main 5 member i think the least about... sorry, stan). kenny and butters as hope & rage is so fun esp if they LARP as foils which they obv do. augshhsushghisjhjsk

[vithyahairandmakeup]

MOTHERHOOD

For years I have been receiving the question “when will you have a baby?”

When I first received it over a decade ago, I cried myself to sleep. Today, I just answer back with sarcasm.

I have a scarred Uterus, also known as Asherman’s syndrome, over a horrific incident that happened to me in my late teens. I was told then that I would struggle to conceive, but due to my trauma I never looked into it and kept thinking I had time.

On my third date with my ex-husband, he told me he didn’t want children. He gave me a few days to think about it, but I didn’t need to think, I thought it was a great escape. Usually everyone blames the woman for not bearing children, but in this case I didn’t have to explain to him that I couldn’t conceive anyway. I said yes, we got married, and divorced four months later. Not because of this, but good thing it didn’t work out anyway.

I got married again three years later, and in the first ever conversation with my husband I told him if he would be ok with no biological children, as I couldn’t conceive. He fully accepted it and it was much easier for me starting a marriage where I felt accepted and understood.

My husband understood, and to this day my Mother-in-law never pressured me either, but my own mother asks me and demands that I give her grandchildren, when she knows that 5 different doctors from different parts of the world told me that I couldn’t conceive due to my scarred uterus.

I argue with my mother over this on a weekly basis. It is exhausting and upsetting, but I refuse to let it ruin my mood or allow it to get to me.

What is a scarred uterus? Or Asherman’s syndrome? What does it mean?

When a woman becomes pregnant, the embryo implants in the endometrium (uterus wall). The damaged endometrium can obliterate the normal cavity and interfere with conception. There is an increased risk of miscarriage or complications later in the pregnancy. In my case, I have not been able to conceive at all. My embryo doesn’t even get to attach itself onto the endometrium.

Yes, the uterus can be fixed with surgery. Or I could resort to surrogacy (someone else carrying our biological child), or even adopt, if having children was that important to me, but I have learned to live with it and accepted my body a very long time ago, and I simply refuse to put my body or my mind through more trauma.

This blog is by no means to have you feel sorry for me, or pity me. I also don’t want to start getting messages about other treatments or options of getting pregnant.

This blog is for all the women out there who cannot conceive like me, and the women who can conceive but choose not to have children. I absolutely understand both and respect and stand with both.

Why is it that being a mother should define us as women?

I respect and admire alot of my friends who are mothers and do a fantastic job at raising them. Some are housewives and some have a full blown career, and they are both happy and content and deserve a trophy for multi-tasking.

I also respect the women who choose not to have children and focus on their career or travelling or whatever it is that makes them happy and content. They also deserve a trophy, simply because they have to deal with society and our community discrediting them as women for not having children.

Then there are mothers who don’t particularly take good care of their children, who were maybe pressured into having children or are struggling to cope with motherhood. There are so many women in different situations.

As a woman ourselves, why do we judge another woman? Why do we ask them the sensitive question? Why do we pressure them? I deal with it on a daily basis. I personally deal with it pretty well now, but imagine the women who cannot deal with these type of questions? I know of a woman who died by suicide during lockdown because she couldn’t bear the thought of not having kids, as she tried for over a decade. It broke my heart when I heard the news. More so for her husband who adored his wife and was totally accepting of not having children.

We never know what another woman is going through. And asking her the questions “Do you have children?”, “Why don’t you have children yet?” can potentially trigger them and push them over the egde. That question is not out of concern but curiosity, and it’s none of our business what a woman or a couple decide to do.

So let’s make a conscious decision to be more thoughtful, mindful, respectful, and understanding when we meet another woman face-to-face or virtually, and treat them the way we want to be treated.

Sending you all love ❤️

[bobbimorses]

hi! i had a question about something and was wondering if you could help out. i've read a lot of fics where clint is extremely resistant to accepting medical care when he is injured, stubbornly refusing to go to the hospital or medical wing or whatever. is there any sort of canonical basis for this in the comics? thank you!! (and no pressure, and no worries if you don't have time/interest to answer!)

ok wow your timing is impeccable bc i was involving this in a thing after the previous fic ask!

in the comics, i would say it's situational on the injury and period of time (it'll make sense when i get to these examples)

in avengers #231, clint breaks his leg in battle, and is shown next issue to not exactly be compliant with medical treatment, including a dislike for anesthetic

(a sentiment echoed in the iron age #1, which takes place shortly after)

in this instance, clint’s denial about the extent of his injury, or what he doesn’t like about being declared medically unwell, is the fact that he’ll lose his spot on the team, which is like his whole deal:

he also doesn’t like being “mother-hen’d,” and at this time is in his jerk stage, so that, combined with getting kicked off the team, makes him lash out in said jerk-mode:

so it could be said he can be very crabby when visibly injured

in hawkeye v1 #4, clint doesn’t want bobbi to know he’s just gone deaf bc he “couldn’t stomach pity,” and she basically has to chase him down to admit it and probably is the one to drag him to a doctor

in the west coast avengers’ lost in time arc, there’s a whole new dynamic to clint’s treatment of his injuries; clint’s now a team leader and wants to keep up morale, and prevent the team from stopping frequently so they can get forward in time (into the past) as quickly as possible (don’t ask). so that’s a whole “take a hit for the team, don’t wanna slow them down” thing.

wonder man blows up a bunch of guns in front of clint, burning him. of course, his primary concern with an injury as always is “i can still use bow???”:

(from west coast avengers #19. tigra....why.)

but he keeps transparency with his team and doesn’t deny that he’s injured (even admitting he has a fever), or that he needs a doctor, and doesn’t refuse stopping for one; he just kinda tries to...push it aside a bit until he can’t any longer.

(shortly after this, he dies, is revived by khonshu, and invents moon knight’s weapons so. all in a day’s work)

in avengers spotlight #22, he goes to a marriage counselor with bobbi, and the office is then ambushed by some mercenaries. clint ends up getting chased and battling a whole multitude of mercenaries. 3 issues later, he ends up injured in the sewers, and it turns out the doctor was in on the whole thing:

so in avengers spotlight #27, after he’s apparently been showing symptoms of illness for a while, he refuses to undergo tests bc of his newfound distrust:

and now his denial of sickness also has a new element of “we have bigger fish to fry”

(turns out he had a bladder infection). also right as he was leaving this doctor, a supervillain blew up the sidewalk underneath him, so clint really had a terrible streak with going to doctors here

in widowmaker #4, he gets smacked at the back of the head hard enough to draw blood, but refuses to get looked at, which we can again assume is part of his dislike of being fussed over

which culminates in hawkeye: blindspot, where he’s been ignoring symptoms while avengering that turn out to be him going blind.

after being told this by tony, steve, and dr. blake, he still continues to run around doing business even though he’s not been cleared for duty and they want him to stay at avengers tower. so obvs his response is to beat up cap when he tries to ground him for his wellbeing (yes they look like clones):

we’ve got twofold reasons here: he initially ignored the symptoms bc his whole schtick is impeccable aim reliant on eyesight. then, he refused to be cooped up under medical supervision bc he was more determined to see-through the investigation of his (evil) mentor’s death

anyways, now that we’ve gone through these, i wouldn’t say clint has a hatred of doctors or denial of obvious injuries or anything, and he’s gone to the hospital on multiple occasions. in fact, avengers: no road home #8 stipulates that he’s apparently done so a lot, which, ow:

but would i say he’s more comfortable healing up with the avengers instead of a hospital like in fics? well, i guess possibly? the thing is, the avengers didn’t consistently use an infirmary for the longest time. so for decades of issues, people were just going to the hospital for anything that needed more attention than setting a limb etc. (ok a baby was delivered once but we don’t talk about that). but in avengers v3, wanda is healing clint with new healing magic she learned after he’s beaten grievously by the wrecking crew, so i’d say that would both be more convenient and preferred by him...if she didn’t end up killing him a few issues later bc i don’t recall any ally avengers using “healing magic” on him again.

so i think my answer to every aspect of your question is, essentially, “idk it depends” but also “yes.” on one hand, he doesn’t like to face when his status as an ace archer or avenger is threatened. on the other, he does get injuries treated to prevent as much, but sometimes it’s only after it becomes way too apparent. or sometimes he just wants to push through to get the job done. and he doesn’t like feeling helpless or pitied. so, you’ve got your base elements, but it’s not like a phobia of hospitals or anything (except for that stretch with all the doctors blowing him up and trying to cut off his limbs for a bounty. that was fair)

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝓐𝓾𝓻𝓸𝓻𝓪 𝓐𝓼𝔂𝓵𝓾𝓶: 𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙, 𝚢𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛, 𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖, 𝚜𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚜, 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎, 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚍𝚎𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚜. 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙹𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚈𝚞𝚗𝚑𝚘 × 𝙿𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 (𝙵𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎)

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 𝟹𝙺

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝, 𝚂𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏, 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙰𝚄

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I breathed out an airy and desolate sigh through my nose, obviously I unconsciously did it a little too loud as the raven haired male sitting across from me looked down at the floor.

"It was all my fault.....wasn't it?"

I looked up, the glasses sitting on my nose bridge tilting slightly that I had to push them back up so I could study his features, or should I say, his expressions. His eyelids never blinked once, his eyes were trained on the pattern of the carpet underneath him, but I knew his mind was elsewhere. I looked with pity at the bandages wrapped around his wrists, some of the edges stained with fresh blood. I gulped slightly, my stomach threatening to spill out my meager lunch of an apple and avocado toast slice from earlier. I could handle hearing patients tell and retell me about how they stabbed their parents to death, cut off their significant other's genitals because they were unloyal to them, even tackled a deranged lunatic that once tried to...... seduce me to put mildly.......

But to this day, I can't help but get dizzy when I treat or deal with patients who are self harming victims, because yes, they are victims. Victims of their own self loathing, guilt, and depressive state that isn't their fault. It just pains me so much to see them resort to such drastic measures...

But I'm also not stupid and know some, if not most only do it for attention or to manipulate others, and Yunho is a case not far from it. Which is why I was the one sent to deal with him. All the other psychologists would have fallen for his sad puppy eyes, good looks, well built physique and would have released him too early into the world. Not that he's dangerous and a threat to society, but he's not emotionally nor mentally stable to go deal with daily life yet. And I'm not a softie by any means even if I'm patient and meek doctor when necessary. But I'm objective and I seek deeper into the true person hiding behind the front they put in front of me.

"Do you believe it was your fault Yunho?" Usually one would get scolded for answering a question with a question, but I prefer this method in order to get my patients to reason and draw out their own conclusions......

And makes them pour out their true answers.

I watch Yunho ponder for a moment.

"It has to be- otherwise she wouldn't have...wouldn't have-"

He bites back a choked sob, teeth tightening and gritting against themselves as he fails to contain his tears. His hands cover his face as he begins to cry uncontrollably, desperate and heartwrenching wails resonating throughout the 4 walls keeping us company. Reaching for the purple plaid box on the coffee table between us, I take out a few tissues and stand up from my seat. Lightly tapping on his shoulder, I whisper a 'here' to him. He thanks me, but since he's crying too hard no sound comes out his throat. For the next few minutes, he's blowing out his runny nose, all red just like his eyes from crying too hard. He's sniffling while trying to control his previous hyperventilating session. I want to hug him or at least give him a pat in the back. But I can't, I can only sit back and try to imagine the agony he's probably going through, try to put myself in his shoes as I dive deep into the event that got him here in the first place:

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Coming back from a trip to the store, Yunho momentarily looks around confused when he heard his baby daughter crying. Quickly putting the bags on the kitchen counter, he makes his way over to the nursery that adjoined the main bedroom. Calling out for his wife, he receives no response as he walks down the hallway. He calls once more for her but stops midway as he opens the slightly ajar door. His heart stops beating and his veins run cold as he stares into the lifeless body of his beloved wife hanging in the room, feeling as if the oxygen is being ripped out from his lungs, suffocating slowly.

As if sensing his agitation, his daughter's cries from the other room grow louder, so much that they raise concern from their next door neighbor, a kind and sweet old lady who more than once has offered her help in watching over the child or help them out in any way she could. Typing in the passcode, she makes it there just in time to stop the tall male from inflicting more harm upon himself as he holds onto his wife's body in agony. Having been left with no choice, she immediately calls for an ambulance, who arrive there shortly and take him to a nearby hospital.

He was monitored 24/7 as he had a history of attempted suicide before. The nurses and doctors didn't want another episode to happen again, not wanting to leave a barely 1 year old fatherless as well as motherless. As an investigation went, police found a journal hidden deep between the mattresses on the bed. When they poured over the first pages, they knew there was much more to the story than just a doting husband who couldn't live without his wife, hence why he was relocated to the infamous asylum......

And a specialized woman was tasked to not only unmask the truth, but hopefully help a poor broken mind be put back together again.

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Hence why I'm here now, the folder I had read over and over again still on my lap. It honestly amazed me that I'd actually get to work on a case like this, and of course I took up the challenge of digging into a mind like Yunho's, not just to help him, but to leave a precedent for any other situations like this that came after.

"A precedent?" I remember the officer asking me.

"Yes. You'd be surprised just how common these types of toxic relationships there are in an everyday basis yet no one ever looks deeper because they're too focused treating a depressed person who's trying to kill themselves and don't focus on what they really are...."

Shutting the folder, I tucked it under my arm before turning on my heel.

"A manipulative individual who'll do anything to keep someone tied to them forever."

That's how I viewed Yunho, it's how I should be viewing him. At least until I could hopefully get him to change.

"How's......is my daughter ok?"

I let out a soft hum and nod as I scribbled something down on the notepad.

"She's fine. We're having someone take care of her in the meantime, don't worry."

Yunho let out a sigh of relief, fingers fidgeting against his thighs as he mustered up the courage to say something.

"Could I.....could I please see her?"

From the sad look in my eyes he could already tell the answer was negative.

"I'm sorry Yunho....I'm afraid until we see some improvement, we can't allow you to be reunited with her just yet."

I tried to keep my voice steady as I said that, bracing myself to possibly see him breakdown once more. He had already lost his wife and now learning that his only child was forced away from him could possibly send him spiraling down into another episode.

But Yunho instead took a deep breath and seemed calm.

"I understand.....it's ok..." I knew he was saying those last two words more to himself than to me.

Lifting his face up, he suddenly shocked me by looking so bright and rather happy.

"So I guess it's best if we begin right?"

Even to this day, I don't know whether I should have been delighted to have such a compliant patient.....

Or terrified.

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"Tell me Yunho, what was your first reaction when you saw your wife?"

A subtle hint of a smile curled at the corners of his lips.

"I thought she was the kindest and most caring person in the world, very pretty too. She just walked in and the room instantly lit up."

He was reminiscing about those times, I could tell. That fond look on his face was unmistakable.

"Do you believe you fell in love at first sight with her?"

His smile suddenly dissipated, eyebrows scrunching together as if recollecting memories from so long ago.

"I think.......I felt attracted to her.....but.....I don't think it was love?"

I could tell he felt conflicted with himself, but that's exactly what I wanted. I want him to question every feeling and sensation he felt at the moment so he could decide for himself if it was real or just a mere illusion he held. If he starts to second guess or question what he felt then he'd start reasoning and come to the conclusion that what he felt was wrong and mistaken. He'd see that his actions weren't justified.

"So when do you truly believe you fell in love with her?"

I stopped writing on my notepad and watched him close his eyes as he tried to pinpoint the exact time he felt whatever he thought was love.

"One night....one of our friends was feeling down in spirits. I witnessed how caring she was towards them...kindly reassuring them that they were loved, that they mattered. I vividly remember her kind eyes and loving smile as she comforted them. Then it hit me that she was that kind of person. Selfless, caring, doting, would sacrifice anything for her friends and family...... it was hard for anyone not to fall in love with her."

He turned his hand over, studying the wedding ring that he still wore to this day, the engravings of their initials being his prime interest.

"And at that moment I knew I had to have her. I couldn't let anyone else have her. I wanted her.... that love, compassion, empathy..her confidence and strong nature, I wanted-"

He stopped mid sentence and his eyes wizened in horror as he came to the realization I had foreseen long ago. He looked up at me, meeting my unwavering eyes that held no emotion at that moment.

"She had all the qualities I had always lacked in."

I took my glasses off and nodded.

"And I unconsciously wanted them for myself.... but the only way I could have them was...through her?" He seemed sickened with himself.

"Not exactly Yunho. You could have learnt to love yourself and raise your self esteem." I quickly scribbled my observation down.

"But I didn't. Instead I caged her up and slowly tore her down."

I couldn't help but let out an involuntary smile as he drew out that conclusion.

"Glad to know you've accepted that fact, even if it took several months for you to understand."

Shutting the notepad, I lifted myself up from my chair, straightening my blouse. Yunho followed suit.

"Is our session over?" He was always so polite, always escorting me out and holding the door open for me, which other doctors would have adamantly refused, too scared to come close to their patients. But not me. I let them have certain liberties at times.

"Not yet Yunho. As you've made remarkable progress, I got permission for you to see someone."

He was momentarily confused for a split second. Poor thing probably thought it was one of the nurses coming in to give him some new medication to take, which he hated with a passion. Stepping outside for a brief moment, I happily took the young baby in my arms, the little girl already used to seeing me as I always went to go see her after being with Yunho for a few hours. When I came back inside he had his back turned to me, once again staring off into nowhere. The light gurgled babbles the baby emitted caught his attention immediately. He whipped his head around so fast I thought he'd break his neck for a second. He teared up as the child began squealing in excitement as she recognized her father right away.

"Oh my-" He choked up with tears that he couldn't finish his sentence.

I calmly walked over to him, lightly bouncing the baby in my arms. Yunho hesitantly reached his hands out.

"Can I..?" He had such a hopeful glint in his eyes.

I didn't answer, I merely held his daughter out to him. As soon as she felt his embrace, she latched onto him as if he was one of the teddy bears she often slept with. Perhaps he was one.

No....he is one.

In my time of spending time with Yunho, I've come to strongly believe he is a sweet and tender individual. And judging by the way the little girl feels safe in his arms, I do believe he is capable of being truly loved.....

If he learns how to properly love not just someone else, but himself too.

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Stepping out of my car, I quickly grab the small pink bag on the passenger seat before locking it. Treading through the small patch of green grass, I ring the doorbell and wait for one of the occupants to open up for me. No surprise, I'm greeted by the same raven haired male I met nearly 3 years ago. He looks delighted to see me.

"Y/N. Hi!"

I wave at him, a small but genuine smile on my features.

"Hi Yunho. Did I come at a bad time?" I notice the apron covered in flour and leftover egg on it.

"Oh no not at all. Please come in."

Moving aside to let me pass, my nose catches the scent of baked goods filling the air. I can distinctly recognize the hints of lavender and french vanilla, an odd but surprisingly tasty combination. I spot out of the corner of my eye a little head peeking out from the kitchen, curious to know who had come to pay them a visit. Letting out a squeal, she quickly ran over to attach herself on my leg.

"Y/N!"

I chuckled and lightly run my fingers through her hair which was longer than the last time I saw it.

"Hi Jina, I see you've been baking something." We both chuckle as I scraped off some cake batter that had gotten on the tip of her button nose.

"Me and dad are making cupcakes for my friend's birthday party tomorrow." She explained.

"Wow that's a really nice gesture. I bet they'll turn out delicious."

Remembering that I was short on time and that I had one last task to carry out, I pull out the bag I had hidden behind my back and hand it to her.

"It's for you."

Her eyes began to sparkle so much they could rival all the stars in the galaxy. After thanking me like 20 thousand times, she plopped her tiny body on the couch to tear into the contents inside it. I shake my head before taking out a small paper from inside my trench coat.

"And this is for you."

Taking the slip from my fingers, Yunho opens it up and scans what it says. He seems confused for a moment, not fully understanding what it means. He looks to me once more, probably for the last time, asking for an explanation.

"It's your official release from the institution. No more drop in visits, no more eyes on you 24/7, and soon you won't have to continue with the prescribed medication, although when that happens they will send someone once in a while to check up and make sure you're ok without them."

Yunho nods but it is a rather sad and pained nod.

"So this means you won't be seeing us any longer?"

I inhale deeply and nod.

"This was a temporary thing until you got better Yunho. After all....I was only the doctor assigned to you."

It hurt me to say that as much as it probably hurt him, as much as it'd hurt Jina to know I wouldn't be coming back anymore.

"Can't we at least be friends?"

I hated seeing those puppy eyes of him practically beg me, signature trait he passed on to his daughter.

"That would be completely unprofessional of my part Yunho. I deeply cherish and treasure all the time we spent together and I'm beyond happy and satisfied that you've come so far since the start of our journey..."

I sighed deeply.

"But every journey has an end." He finished my sentence.

Extending his hand out to me, I took it and gave it a firm shake.

"I'm really going to miss you." He admitted.

"Me too. Me too."

Going over to the momentarily forgotten 4 year old, she let out an 'oof' when she suddenly found herself cooped up in my embrace.

"Take care of yourself and of your dad ok?"

I kissed the top of her head, her grinning face not registering that this might be the last time she ever saw me. Yunho walked me out the door and even escorted me all the way to my car. Always the gentleman, he held the door open for me. Before I could even get one foot inside, I felt a large hand grip my wrist. Turning to him, I was flustered when he suddenly pulled me close to him.

"Please don't leave. I need you....I..."

He looked conflicted with himself as he tried to finish his words. Taking a deep breath, he confessed:

"I love you."

My heart sank. He said the 3 words I hoped he'd never direct at me. Mainly because I was scared as he was. Don't get me wrong, Yunho is a wonderful man, and he truly deserves to be loved....

But am I certain that he has finally learned to love? Or is it because he feels he needs me?........

Only one way to find out.

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[deonideatta]

OK I've gotten through the 7 stages of grief, here are my arguments for and against Han Seo and his 'betrayal'

I do think it’s possible that Han Seo just decided to betray Vincenzo, though i don’t like the thought and I hope this isn’t the case. The greatest evidence for it is the way he acts. The way he reacted to Vincenzo pulling the gun on him did not seem faked, nor did his reaction to Mr Han’s smug announcement that he had found a way to off Vincenzo. It is worth noting that we do see what appears to be a moment of hesitation on his part before he enthusiastically praises Mr. Han for covering all their bases. For the last part of the episode all of Han Seo’s behaviour says that he’s betrayed Vincenzo for real (right down to him not telling Jipuragi squad about Mr Han’s promotion), but that doesn’t really mean anything if you argue that it’s all part of a wider plan, and that he’s just acting. So besides just taking his actions at face value, there’s also the point that there is no point to it being a plot? Like what do Vincenzo and Han Seo stand to gain from staging a betrayal and having Vincenzo get shot in front of Interpol?? What would the benefit of that be? (Edit: OK so someone told me that it might be to delay interpol deporting vincenzo so that they could work on clearing his name, and that gives a lot of support to the theory of it being a plot) Please enlighten me if I'm missing something here because it seems to me that the only entity that benefits from everything is Babel, as now their biggest pain in the neck is gone. This gives Han Seo every reason to actually betray Vincenzo, especially since it was in a setting where he felt backed up (Interpol waiting in the wings). He’s managed to take back the chairman position, oust his brother, and his right hand man (Mr. Han) is the chief prosecutor. Technically he doesn’t need Vincenzo to ensure his safety anymore, nor does he really have to keep helping him by leaking info, since it’d be fighting against his own company now. Plus Vincenzo already seems to have a plan in place, which he entrusted to Cha Young earlier in the episode. Not to mention Vincenzo getting shot, and how genuinely shocked he seemed. So perhaps Han Seo really will just be another example of how greed corrupts the best of intentions, a second Prosecutor Jung. Unless all of it is a ploy on Han Seo's part?

Which it might well be bc nothing is ever as it seems with this drama, so here are some points on why Han Seo’s betrayal might not be as simple as that.

Firstly we've seen so much character development for Han Seo, and it seemed like at some point the drama really began to try to endear him to us. He's clumsy, he's not very bright, he's funny, he's the underdog, we pity him and want him to succeed. We see him join up with Jipuragi squad, we see his quest to be liked and to come out of the shadow of his brother and his abuse. He’s flawed, but we grow attached to him, and we like him. Of course, you can argue that all this is to make the betrayal hurt even more later on. But just like the NIS director's buildup as a trustworthy character from the beginning was a good basis for assuming he wasn't on the wrong side, this could be the case for Han Seo too (though whether or not his character was ever built up as trustworthy is debatable). Prosecutor Jung’s betrayal already showed us that we can’t trust anyone, so why give us that again using Han Seo?

Secondly, that first hockey scene and how much Han Seo has come to idolize Vincenzo. We see how happy he is in the scene where they play hockey together, and how lighthearted their chatting is. We even get Is This Love played during the scene (lol). Han Seo is playful around Vincenzo in a way he can’t really be with anyone else, and from what we’ve seen, he really values that. I mean, look at the way he skated around like a gleeful child after Vincenzo left, and the way he called out grazie after him. As well as their interactions in the previous episodes, like when 80s Han Seo appears to brag about how he risked his own safety to save Geumga Plaza. Before the last 15 minutes of this episode Han Seo is a huge Vincenzo fanboy, and you can argue that he wouldn’t suddenly do a 180 like that. There’s also the fact that Vincenzo said he would kill Han Seo only if he betrayed him. The fact that that was the only condition he gave makes it even more significant if Han Seo has actually betrayed him. It having been said that that was the one thing he shouldn’t do, why would he go ahead and do just that? I mean, you could argue that Vincenzo mentioning betrayal was foreshadowing, both for Han Seo’s actual betrayal and thus his eventual death, but we’re trying to look on the bright side here lol Edit: ok so my memory is actually garbage and he never said that, disregard that bit lol

There’s also little things like the clip that shows Han Seo calling Vincenzo from a car wearing different clothes (why would they have a whole wardrobe change and shot of him in the car for a 3 second shot of him basically just saying “we need to talk” when they could have just had him call from the ice? so there is most likely a longer scene in the car), the fact that Vincenzo showed up with a gun (maybe it was just bc they were suspicious about the fact that Han Seo didn’t report on Mr Han’s promotion), or the fact that the movement Vincenzo made with the gun before he got shot was kinda odd. And perhaps most notably, Han Seo wondering who out of Vincenzo and Han Seok would come out on top in the end.

But truly, I dont know what to think. I definitely think we’re not getting the full story, but i’m not sure if that story is going to be good on Han Seo’s part. I really want to believe that it’s somehow all a ploy, but to me everything seems to be saying that it’s a real betrayal. Of course, no one can ever accurately predict things in this drama, and this seems like a cheap ending for a character that was sold to the audience so much, so I'd love to be wrong!! If anyone has any insights in either direction, please share!!!!

[post-modern-prometheus]

random (and sometimes outlandish) st4 theories that have minimal basis for anything but i just wanna put them out there just in case i'm right so i can say i called it:

*keep in mind not all these are connected lol

-nancy and victor kreel are like clarice sterling and hannibal lector: he respects her and she has a begrudging admiration for him

-oh but also victor kreel kills karen and ted because of nancy (in the epilogue)

-the mind flayer forces will to come out to mike because it remembers how he feels about him

-dustin is the most upset about lucas ditching the party to go be a jock, and it's surprising and jarring when dustin starts yelling at him. the fight ends up getting physical (dustin starts it)

-steve spends the entire season trying to set up robin with a girl, only for robin to take pity on the sweet himbo and tell him that not only does the girl have a crush on him but robin herself is also dating el's kind-of-sister now

-max, lucas, mike, and dustin go to your stereotypical high school party and everyone but max gets drunk (she won't because of neil and billy) (mike is a lightweight)

^lucas' teammates try to pull him away from his friends which pisses off dustin

-mike is in the woods with chrissy for some reason when the demogorgon kills her. he's seen fleeing the scene with blood all over his hellfire club t-shirt. this is why he runs away to the byers'

-el's powers aren't working because they are- only they're fighting off the mind flayer trying to possess her

^she uses her powers to stop one of her friends from being killed, which allows to mind flayer to possess her

-connecting the mike is a suspect for murder and el is possessed ones, mike (and will) get arrested and questioned by the police. possessed el comes after them in a very terminator-esque scene, massacring everyone at the precinct

-i've said this before, but el has a carrie moment: one of her bullies pushes her just a bit too far and el's powers unleash, killing the bully

-will, mike, and el get so many ferris bueller references

-the party (at least the members still in hawkins) sleep over at steve's apartment all the time

-joyce doesn't actually end up going to russia (ok i'm pretty sure there are set pics that rule this one out But i need to get it off my chest). she's talking to owens about it- but then jonathan comes to her and tells her that will and el are missing and she deems her children more important than the possibility that hopper could be alive

^joyce and jonathan team up this season (yeah ok argyle's here but bear with me). we address the pressure she has put on him to step into the patriarchal role of the family and how it's negatively effected him

-max isn't sad that billy died, per-say, she just feels guilty that she's relieved that he's out of her life. add that to everything she's going through with neil...

^this guilt leads her to sacrifice herself to save someone else's life

-another on max is that she makes lucas mad enough to dump her, and this time for a mature reason

-el and mike have some et and elliot connection/sickness

-after meeting kali and watching her try to train el and help her get her powers back, mike knows that pain is what fuels el and her powers. he thinks that's how he can get through to her while she's possessed, so he sets himself up to be alone with her- and for her to kill him.

^it's important to me that dustin is the one who realizes mike's plan

^alsooo mike's plan doesn't work because just as she's about to kill him, someone comes through the gate she's about to open: hopper. the love she feels for hopper is what overpowers the mind flayer.

-the hellfire club is actually a cult who is using dustin and mike to get more information about the upside down. eddie witnessed something happen and now the cult worships the mind flayer. it's made up of kids and adults.

^max's guidance counselor is a member of the hellfire club, who is also trying to get information out of her and turn her against her friends/isolate her. (maybe they gets max to betray the party, which is why lucas is mad at her.) (or we get a 'i never said anything about a graveyard professor' moment, where the guidance counselor knows something they shouldn't and max realizes.)

-el gets separated from mike and will (either because of possession or lab) and we get outsiders ponyboy and johnny vibes.

-time works differently in the upside down.

-keep the previous bullet in mind when i say that the russians send hopper and a few other prisoners and guards through the upside down to test if it's safe to send troops through for a red-dawn-type invasion

^the end credit scene is of the troops being sent through (and the cold open of season 5 is the mind flayer possessing the entire army)

these are just the ones off the top of my head bc i've been sitting on them for awhile

[curious-menace]

Can you do headcanons of any Riddler getting cared for and gentle kisses from reader after getting beat up? He needs some loves.

SO I MAY HAVE SUGGESTED THAT MY ULTIMATE FANTASY IS TO GIVE RIDDLER A HUG WITH BACKRUBS AS HE TELLS ME ABOUT HIS DAY AND I STAND BY THAT WHOLE-HEARTEDLY .

i freaking love this stuff so im going to do all of them mwahahah

post asswoop riddlers getting loves

Arkham riddler

He’s VERY quiet, which knowing him and his inability to stop talking, is  bad news.

I paint arkham riddler as a cry baby and i stand by that. this is the hill i will die on. He’ll have dragged his sorry ass into your apartment or house , dripping blood on your floors but he wont bother calling for you. he’ll just sit at the table with his head in his hands having a lil pity party until you find him.

when you do finally get home, he’ll be looking like a kicked puppy. he’s gotten stuck in his own head, mentally beating himself up even more. he got a fright when you came in because he was so caught up he didn't even hear you at the door.

He’s literally sits there like a child with his arms up for you to come scoop him up. he’s not even sure why his first thought after getting beat up was to come here, he’s probably lead the cops here or something and that was so stupid and- you should probably give him a lil soft smooch on the head to stop him before he goes into a spiral.

he needs more emotional and mental care than physical. Talk to him while you're patching him up. any topic, it doesn't matter just keep him focused on your voice and not the one in his head calling him dumb.

he wont admit he wants to be held and coddled after something like this. get your softest blankie and 2 mugs of coco with marshmallows and just ramble at him. tell him about your day or ask him to explain something boring and complicated so he’s focusing on that rather than how upset he is. let him sit on your lap or between your legs on the sofa and watch how its made or mythbusters or something until he falls asleep. he should be ok again in the morning, he doesnt stay down for long. 

Blacklight Riddler

He’s used to getting his ass kicked, either by batman, the other rogues or once he’s a PI, by unhappy clients and the people he put away. He might be tiny but he’s pretty tough. 

even if he’s really hurting, his probably trying to crack jokes and tell blood and bruise related riddles. He doesn't like to see you worry so even if he’s in a lot of pain or a bit upset about things, he’s trying to make you smile.

he likes kisses on his bruises. even if he just banged his hand on the table he’ll come to you because he wants you to kiss it better. 

He’s a decent fighter, unlike a lot of riddlers who couldnt fight their way out of a paper bag. He can throw punches but he lacks in defence and with his bad knee, dodging can be a little hard. even if he wins the fight he’s still likely to need you to patch him up.

He likes kids plasters. like hello kitty and spongebob. no im not joking, he ALWAYS wanted them when he was little and his parents always said no. now he’s an adult he’s going to use them whenever he damn well pleases.

 if it was a particularly bad one, he’ll be ok in the moment even if he has to go to hospital. But he’s going to drop the facade at some point and let you see how upset he is. winding up in hospital after being beat was a common occurrence in childhood. even after doing it time and time again as an adult it doesn't make it any easier on him. he’ll want to stay in your bed, be close to you for few days until either he starts to heal or something snaps him out of his funk.

BTAS Riddler

he really prefers other people to do the fighting for him. well physically anyway. he can handle his own arguments...most of the time. He’s going to need you to nurse a bruised ego more than anything. he probably got dunked on my batman or crane and now he’s huffing.

i don't know if this counts as care and kisses but he clearly needs you around to keep his sorry ass alive. he hurt his side in a fight once and said he wasn't hurt. believable... until he started to act a little confused, a little dizzy. needless to say it worried you enough to take him to emergency care. 

He was obviously in agony by now but he was still fighting with you the entire drive there, insulting you and insisting he was fine. its a good job you took him when he did, turns out he’d ruptured his spleen and would probably be dead if you weren’t around to act like his common sense.

he still hasnt apologised for that. or any of the other times you insisted on medical care to stop him from pushing up daisies. he just pretends like you know he’s grateful so he doenst have to admit he’s bullheaded, stubborn and worst of all, wrong. 

if he has been seriously hurt, he acts more indignant about it than anything. he wants to be waited on and pampered while resting in bed. he can be a genuine pain to deal with, talking about how lucky you are to see him in such a vulnerable state and how you should be grateful he’s letting you do this for him.

He doesn't want to admit how much he actually needs you. his goons wont put up with him when he’s like this and he’s freaking paying them to do it. you do it for free and no matter how annoying he is you havent left him yet. he doesn't tell you but youve noticed he starts getting you more gifts about a week after he’s recovered. like its taken him a day or two to work out he should probably thank you for all you do.

Original Riddler

this riddler is just weird. like he gets a freaking hang nail and he pretends like he’s dying. but he could nearly lose a limb and he’ll say “tis but a scratch” and still try to hobble about like nothing is wrong.

actually he’s more like olaf “oh look i've been impaled.”. he probably tries to laugh off life threatening injuries like its nothing, taking maybe 3 steps before he collapses on his face in a blood puddle and lets out a tiny “help”

good luck moving his tall lanky ass around. better get a gurney and maybe those vets at the zoo who deal with giraffes. seriously if you want to take care of him you are going to need help or some sort of action plan and a go bag because with his limp butt this will not be easy.

he’s kinda like BTAS riddler in that he needs you to tell him the injury is serious. hes not dumb he just has a high pain threshold and genuinely doesn't realise that injuries are as bad as they are. 

he can be a bit of a baby while being patched up. he doesn't like a lot of blood or gore, it makes him feel a little sicky. better give him your phone to play with like a kid at the doctors or put the tv on for him to watch while you bandage  him. word of warning, he will pass out or throw up if you try to give him stitches.

i think you should focus your love and attention on him AFTER medical care. just focus on the job, be silent and as fast as possible to get it over with quickly. you should probably bring him something sweet too. no not just you, although you are sweet for looking after him. give him something sugary because he’s going to be light headed after seeing any blood. maybe you could give him a lolly for being a good patient. 

Telltale riddler

this riddler is essentially a metahuman. he can REALLY take a beating and bounce back fairly quickly. just look how many times batman punched him in the face and it barely stunned him! he doesnt usually need patched up after a fight. maybe just a lil smooch and some hugs

he did really need your help after the whole pact thing. having his friends abandon him hurt like hell, more than any physical injury ever could.

after that, he clings to you. almost obsessively so; we know he’s got some serious mental illnesses but he usually has the worst of it under control, even without meds. now? it seems like he’s experiencing ptsd and is afraid to go anywhere without you, like you might up and disappear if you arent in his line of sight at all times.

i think this riddler might need the most intense care from you. hugs and gentle reassurance wont be enough. you’re going to be responsible for taking him to therapy, keeping him taking his meds and grounding him to reality. this is the kind of responsibility you took on when you got involved with him but i doubt you realised how hard it would be. i cant promise it will all be worth it but i can promise he wont ever forget your kindness.

the kind of care he needs after such a hard knocking down is just stability. im not one for romance or any mushy gushy stuff but please just pour your love into the cracks in this poor mans soul.

its hard going, but he has his moments. his gallows sense of humor is still there and hey, after him being in and out and gone for so long, it might be nice to have him around more.  

Zero year riddler

INSUFFERABLE LITTLE SHIT THIS ONE. he could LITERALLY be bleeding out in your arms and he’d STILL be backseat driving on your medical skills. the temptation to just leave him there to bleed is INCREDIBLE.

he’ll drop the act eventually. he’ll ask and maybe even beg for your help. man has  no shame and all the self preservation instincts of a lemming. dont get me wrong, he can be a total coward some times, only looking out for himself . but when he’s actually hurt ? not a fuckin clue. does this head wound need an ice pack or heat pack? is this spurring blood wound worthy of medical care? no idea. he was a very sheltered child who never got so much as a bruise so he has no idea what to do when he’s hurt.

he gets the everloving shit kicked out of him on a clockwork basis. like you could hear knocking on your door at 3 am and already be at the table with a first aid kit like oh its tuesday riddler must have broken his nose.

he takes entirely too much joy in making you patch him up. youre starting to wonder if he’s doing it on purpose just to see you in your little apron and latex gloves . he’s getting off on this and you know it but god help you, you just  cant resist his dumb face asking for your help and would you also wear this pink nurses outfit while youre at it?

one time he lost a LOT of blood. he would be fine but he was pretty damn loopy from lightheadedness. while you were trying to get him into bed to rest he started flirting with you. can you believe the audacity? he’s lost 3 pints of blood and he’s still more focus on his libido? 

he’s actually going to be both humble and grateful for your help when he finally comes round. dont get me wrong, he’s still a bit of a prick but at least he says thank you for saving him before he demands you kiss all his booboos and ouchies. 

nonnie i am having a stroke. i was trying SO hard to just pick one but i COULDNT because i am WEAK for hurt and comfort.

theres a reason i have a tag that literally says “i have naughty hands and no self control”

someone needs to stage an intervention

got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜

[write-orflight]

Like Real People Do Chapter 7

*Gif not mine*

Masterlist

Rating: M

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: Kinda NSFW not smut tho

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

A.N: Kinda short chapter but we only have 2 Chapters and an Epilogue left. Thanks for reading. Message to be on taglist, much love Cia

Chapter 7: I will not ask you where you came from, I will not ask you, neither should you 

“You’ve gotta hold it like a pencil.” You laugh, trying to explain chopsticks to Spencer as you sit at your kitchen table eating the Thai food you mentioned beforehand. Spencer just seemed to grip the chopstick tighter, you laugh.“Spencer, you write all the time. Is that how you hold a pencil? Here.” You say, placing your hand over his, maneuvering his hand to hold the chopsticks properly. He looks up at you and smiles before leaning in to kiss you again. You don’t think you could ever grow tired of that. “What was that for?”

“Nothing.” He shrugs. “It’s just nice to kiss you whenever I think about it now.” You watch him struggle again before taking pity on him and handing him a fork. He looks at you with gratitude. 

“When?” You ask. “Did you think about it,  I mean.”

He blows a breath, thinking. “Every time? Or the first time?” 

Knowing Spencer probably could name every single time he’s thought about kissing you, you laugh. “Let’s start with the first time.” 

“The first case we worked together. The bus driver.” He says. “You looked so excited when you figured it out, you were practically flailing your arms. I wanted to kiss you so bad, but of course I had just met you days prior, so it wouldn’t have been appropriate.” He laughs. “What about you?”

“The first time I wanted to kiss you?” You ask, he nods. “Probably the Milwaukee case last winter. When you talked down that gunman with no weapon, no vest. I also wanted to punch the lights out of you.” You both laugh. “But you really had me worried and guess when I saw you were safe it was all I could think about doing.” 

“Why didn’t you?” 

“Well, why didn’t you?” You shoot back. 

“I told you, I didn’t know you then.” 

“Well, I also didn’t know you well back then.” You sigh. “Plus, I always thought you were extremely out of my league, you still are.” 

Spencer snorts, you slap his arm. “I’m being serious, you were extremely smart and attractive and I’m not so I never thought anything would come of this.” You shrug. Spencer grips your hand tightly. 

“Hey, look at me.” He says, you meet his eyes and you’re suddenly hit with a look that could only be described as complete admiration. “You are the single most beautiful, talented and intelligent girl I know. If anyone’s out of anyone’s league, it’s the other way around, trust me.” 

You hum, thinking. “Yea, I don’t think so.” 

“I’ll have to prove it to you then.” He says, smiling, looking at you like you personally put every star in the sky.   

“I’ll hold you to that.” 

---------------------------------------------------------------

Spencer spends everyday for the next 4 months proving you wrong. 

Your second “official” date was at the planetarium after you told Spencer offhandedly one day that you didn’t know much about stars other than your astrological sign. He then surprises you early one Saturday morning rushing you to get dressed so you don’t have to deal with the crowds. You end up in an empty theater as he whispers his own facts to you about the constellations completely ignoring the tour guide. 

He takes you on several dates like that. To museums, art galleries, the two of you even watch that 5 hour movie he loves so much though you end up falling asleep hour 2, you couldn’t help it. 

You decide to keep it secret from the team for the first couple of months, just to see it was something you both still wanted. Since the two of you spent so much time together before you were dating, it was like nothing’s changed. Garcia still ends up finding out around month three, during your monthly Doctor Who rewatches. You had sent Spencer to the kitchen to get a bottle of wine when he calls out to you. 

“Babe, where’s your corkscrew?” 

Without thinking, you automatically answer back “In the drawer below the coffee maker.” You go to start the next episode when you look up to see Garcia staring at you like you grew a second skull. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask, genuinely confused. 

“Babe???” She says, incredulously. Spencer is out of the kitchen, watching the two of you in the doorway. “Babe?!?” She asked again, Spencer realized his mistake, looking at you awkwardly, a clear I fucked up, you have to fix it face. You sigh, putting your forehead in your hand. Despite him technically being a genius, you were dating an idiot. 

“Garcia—“ you start.  

“How long?” She says, stumbling slightly. 

“How long what?” You ask, hoping playing dumb will get you out of it. It doesn’t as she just levels you with a stern look. Or as stern as Penelope Garcia can get. “3  months.” You sigh. 

“3 Months?!” Suddenly Garcia is pulling you into a hug, waving her arm frantically behind your back for Spencer to join you, which of course he does. “Oh my sweet sweet summer children, Why didn’t you tell me?!”She pulls from you, hitting you both in the arm instantly. 

You rub your arm. “We just wanted to keep it under wraps for a while, to see if it was something we both wanted.” 

“And is it?” She asks. 

You look at Spencer only to see him looking directly back into your eyes, smiling. “Yea it is.” You say. “Garcia, I know you don’t like keeping secrets but can you not tell anyone. We wanted to wait to tell everyone.” 

Garcia blows a breath. “For you, my dove, I will try. Now I was promised wine and Doctor Who and I still haven't gotten either.” 

With that you fill her glass and the three of you spend the night watching Doctor Who and eating pizza. At some point of the night, Spencer’s arm ends up around you. You scout closer to him so you can lay your head on his chest. Suddenly, you see a camera flash. 

“Garcia!” You yell. 

“Relax, I won’t show anyone. This’ll be for me, you guys are just so cute!”   

You roll your eyes, laying back on Spencer. You can’t help but smile at the feel of his light chuckle. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Sex doesn’t come up despite your best wishes. You can tell Spencer’s holding back, trying to respect you and you appreciated that, you really do. 

But God, you want him. 

There’s been times where you think you’re going to get there. Like last month, he had come over to watch a movie which ended up just being an excuse to just make out. You didn’t think you could ever get tired of kissing Spencer. Most of the time, his kisses were sweet, filled with admiration. But sometimes they were heated with passion and want behind them. You liked both, loved both even, but if you had to pick a favorite it’d be the lather. You’ve never felt as desired as you do when you’re with Spencer. 

His tongue swiped along your bottom lip, you opened your mouth giving him permission. You’re rewarded with a small moan as he tries to move as close to you as your small couch will allow. You’re suddenly hit with a bright idea and push him back so you could crawl on top of him, straddling his waist. You pull back slightly to look at him, making sure this was ok. He looks at you shocked for a moment, you guys have never done anything this far. That shock breaks though the second you lean back into him, his hands going instantly to your waist. You move in closer, running your hands through his hair as his tongue rejoins your mouth. You moan, tugging slightly at the roots earning you a groan, his hands sliding under your shirt gripping your waist tighter. As lean forward to kiss along his jaw you can’t help but become hyper aware of a certain predicament he was having. Deciding to test the waters, you start grinding your hips on him slightly. 

“Fuck.” he moans quietly, his grip on your bare waist suddenly becoming tighter. Spencer hardly ever cursed, not even when he was mad. Very much unlike you who cursed like a sailor at any minor inconvenience. So hearing the expletive, especially in a situation like this, was enough to turn you into a faucet. The two of you went on like this a bit, your hands on his jaw, not even being shy about your grinding now. You needed him to know just how bad you wanted this, how bad you wanted him. Eventually, his hands slide out your shirt settling on your lower waist to stop you. You pull back to look at him confused. 

“We’ve got to stop.” He says, sitting you up a little bit so you weren’t completely seated completely on top of him. 

“Why?” You all but whine. You didn’t mean to sound like a child but you were genuinely curious. He chuckles lightly at you before kissing your cheek and moving you so you were seated next to him, still cuddled under his arm. His attention turned fully back towards the movie, neither of you had been paying attention to prior. 

------------------------------------------------

And if working with him was hard before, it’s proven itself to be unbearable these past months. Now that you knew what it was like to be with Spencer, thoughts about it seemed to cloud your brain on a daily basis. And it seemed like he was mocking you with it lately. With the rolled up sleeves of his button up and the skinny ties it seemed like he was intentionally trying to break you. 

Right now, you were in a small town off the coast of Oregan, listening to Reid explain the geographical profile he’d come up with for the Unsub. You try to listen, you really do but your focus keeps going to his forearms and hands. You knew you like his hands before but now that you knew what they felt like it was hard to focus on anything else. That combined with the rapid words coming out of his mouth and the hair he’d recently been growing out (something you didn’t know you were into but could definitely now confirm you were) were sending you spiraling. 

“Y/N.” You suddenly heard Hotch call. You looked around to see everyone looking at you, expecting an answer to a question you did not hear. 

You clear your throat awkwardly. “What was your question again?” 

“I asked why you think the Unsub is a flight risk.” JJ says. “Are you ok? You seem off.” 

Everyone’s eyes is on you again, this time Spencer included. He’s narrowing his eyes at you now. You can tell he’s reading you like a book, trying to hide the smirk on his face. He knows. You think to yourself. 

“I’m fine.” You clear your throat. “Based one the geographical profile, I think the Unsub is from this town and is very familiar with the water. Possibly from a fishing family, which is why I think he has a boat and will try to make a run for it tonight. Especially since the news announced we’re here.” You point out. “I actually don’t believe we have much time.” 

“Alright, Reid, Prentiss and Rossi check his house. Y/L/N, Morgan and I will head down to the Marina. Dismissed.” 

You go to grab everything you need before leaving (vest, gun, etc.) when Spencer approaches you. 

“And you thought I wouldn’t be able to focus on work when we got together?” He says, smirking. 

“Shut up.” You mumble. Before you can turn away from him, he grabs your wrist pulling you into a tight, passionate kiss. 

“Please be careful.” He says looking into your eye. 

“I always am, Spen.” You smile. 

-------------------------------------------------------

You, Hotch and Morgan Are silent driving to the Marina but that wasn’t unusual that was how it usually is with you three, especially with stakes like this. Hotch assigns the both of you quadrants to search and you split apart. You’re walking your quadrant when you hear a snapping sound. You turn and see the unsub untying a boat. 

“FBI! Don’t move.” You scream after him. He sees you turns to his boat that’s started to drift further and further away in the high tide before he starts booking it down the dock. You run after to him. 

“Unsub is on the southeastern dock! Requesting Backup.” You scream in your radio before focusing your full attention on running full speed after the man you’d been searching for for days. He’s looking behind himself every so often to see you gaining on him but you’re still not fast enough to get him before you jumps off the end of the dock, swimming fast towards his boat. 

“Shit!” You yell. You hear hotch and Morgan’s steps running behind you before you make the split decision. 

You throw off your vest, radio and gun on the dock next to you before careening off the dock into the icy cold oregonian waters.          

Taglist: @haylaansmi​     @yoruebeautiful​ @kianagilder-blog​ @l0ve-0f-my-life​ @bihoeofmanyfandoms @dreamer7black​ @baby-banana​ @drreidshands​ @blameitonthenight21​ @slyskyeey​ @liaabsurd​ @di-essere-amato​ @oliviamaerose​ @nightlygiggless​

[frillshark-fr]

How do you get people to always buy your dragons? Genuine question

i was gonna say something like “haha i have no fucking clue” but that would be a lie i think about this a lot actually so i might have some insights i’ve been breeding dragons as my primary activity on FR since i started playing FR (in 2014...) and people have only started actually buying dragons from me consistently like, 5-6 months ago, despite 2-3 attempts at running a genuine hatchery onsite that always died due to lack of interest & not really being worth the effort. 

so ive thought a lot about what the hell is happening now and why my dragons are suddenly consistently selling and I think ive come down to these being the main points of advice i can give: 1. make friends! be friendly! don’t be weird! be a cool and fun person to interact with! 2. post consistently. post your dragons consistently. post about other stuff consistently. just be an active member of the community 3. POST YOUR SHIT IN THE “#FLIGHT RISING” TAG. THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY TRUELY HELPFUL THING I SAY IN THIS POST 4. make pairs that are sexy as hell and be openly proud of them. make dragons and pairs that you like, not what you think will necessarily sell. people can tell when you like stuff and being genuinely passionate about something, whatever the fuck it is, will get other people passionate as well longer versions/explanations under the cut because man this got a mile long. i wasn’t kidding when i said i think about this a lot and i am so sorry if you wanted something concise and useful

1. to be a little glib. i am mutuals/friends with more clout in the FR community than I do kjdshfdsfdhjhkfdf shoutout to everyone who draws their dragons really good on a regular basis because i am riding on your coattails to sell my dragons. i love you this was never my intent, obviously! DO NOT BEFRIEND PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU WILL GET STUFF FROM THEM IT’S JUST A REALLY BAD THING TO DO TO PEOPLE!!! i wouldn’t be friends w/ people if i didn’t genuinely like and get along with them! no amount of pixel cash is worth putting up with people you dont like or abusing people you admire!  but i’d also somehow feel wrong to just... neglect mentioning this factor. idk it’s probably a self-esteem thing sjdkgfhdsf i just Don’t feel like my #success has been totally out of my own effort because its not like im #hustling or whatever i just posted dragons and stuff happened

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2. being consistent! just. posting consistently! posting Every Hatchling I Have and Talking About Them On Tumblr!  Once I had a couple nests just sell super fast likely due to aforementioned clout, i was emboldened to just post more of my nests more often and I swear this has more effect than anything else. i just needed the self-esteem boost to Start Doing That posting consistently makes ppl follow u for ur content which gets even more people to look at your dragons which gets more people to buy your dragons.

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2a. Also just post a lot in general, even if you aren’t necessarily posting about your dragons for sale. it definitely helps! just be friendly and active and people will come

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3. post your shit in the tag. not in “#dragon-sales” or “#fr-dragon-sales” or anything weird like that because I don’t know if anyone actually looks at those, but people definitely browse “#flight rising”. no matter how many followers you have, more people will see your content if you post it in #flight rising than if you just chuck it into the void. 

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3a. however! do not put links into the post if you want it to actually show up in the tag. tumblr is cool in that it doesn’t actually matter that much when you post something, the same way it really matters on twitter bc twitter has algorithms that decide for you what it thinks you want to be seeing whereas tumblr just shows you everything in chronological order. if you post something into the tag at 1am... it will still be there at 2pm when people log on and start scrolling.

the only thing tumblr seems to consistently hide from a tag (and possibly a dashboard, but idk) are posts with links in them, as a half-assed attempt to limit spam. instead of linking to your sales tab/to the dragons directly in the post, reblog it with the links instead. to reduce latency between a post going up and the links being available, i type out the links in the initial post, cut them, post the thing into the tag, then very quickly reblog, paste the links, and post the reblog jdhfsdf. i don’t know if that benefits anything really? but it can sometimes take me a while to type links, so if i posted, pressed reblog, typed up all the links, then posted, it’d be like ~15 minutes where someone may see the post, think “oh i would like to buy those dragons”, then can’t find the link, think “oh well, i will just find it later”, scroll on, and just... completely forget about it. so uh. go quick?

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3b. the armchair sociologist in me also thinks self-reblogging has the added benefit of like... you know how people are more likely to tip a barista when a dollar is already in the tip jar? or how people are more likely to take one of those little tabs on a flyer if one of them is already missing? i think that works with notes, too. i don’t know why i think that or why it happens i just swear once a post gets 1 note, suddenly it gets Even More Notes, and if it doesn’t get any notes for a while it will sit at 0 notes until the end of time. so giving yourself 1 obligatory note makes people more likely to interact. i think

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4. all of these are hard to quantify but this one is especially so: have cool and unique dragons. make your pairs sexy as hell. don’t put all your eggs (hah) into the one basket of selling dragons that are technically “popular”. we have all seen triple white/triple obsidian/triple orca/triple any other popular colors and cherub/pere/stained or wasp/bee/glim pthahlos or whatever. they’re pretty! we get it! but everyone has had one and everyone has had those pairs and market for dragons like that can be super oversaturated. try to break free from that and sell dragons that people can only get from you. I can’t tell you what to do though bc that rly depends on you. make pairs that you find exciting or interesting and people will feel that. i have a very specific theme and aesthetic that i don’t feel like is especially common on FR and i am genuinely very enthusiastic about it. marine shit is my Thing:tm: both on and off FR and dragons are one of my many ways of expressing that   if you have a Thing:tm:, either some fr-centric aesthetic (like being super into plague or earth or light or something) or something more general (such as any of the -punks or -cores)... just fuckin roll with it honestly. if you’re goth? make got h dragons. like scene stuff that looks straight out of a middle school in 2010? rock that hot-topic lair. outdoorsey type? make dragons that look like you’d meet them on a hike in the woods. it really works with anything!  people can tell when you really love something and i know that seeing someone really love something, even if it’s not necessarily MY thing, makes me really excited too!! 

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4a. never show fear. people can smell fear. never be like “well this one isn’t that good” because suddenly now you’ve planted the idea that it’s ugly in other people’s heads when they may have really liked it had you not accidentally suggested to them that it’s an ugly dragon. people are EXTREMELY suggestible to even VERY minor cues so be always a little bit bolder than you think you should be you’d be surprised at how many times ive been like “eh, this one’s kind of a dud, i’ll probably have to exalt this one when the auction expires” and then that hatchling is the first to sell. never ever ever ever decide what other people like for them. always act like your dragons are the hottest shit in all the land and Believe It. this is what people mean when they say “fake it till you make it”

- 4b. also, idk if it’s true of everyone but it’s really off-putting to see someone having serious pity-parties for themselves, on sales posts or otherwise. ive had bad experiences with people who are uncomfortably quick to self-depreciate (because they were using their genuine self-hatred to manipulate me or my friends), so i might be a little more trigger-happy about avoiding this behavior than others, but don’t weaponize your sadness to guilt people into doing what you want. it’s really not cool.

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okay i think that’s my entire manifesto on how i do dragon selling. anon i am so sorry im sure you were expecting like “believe in yourself :)” and here i am dissecting dragon selling like it’s a frog in a science class

edit: AFTER ALL THAT I STILL THOUGHT OF ONE MORE THING. It’s not really a Point, just a Reminder:

i don’t post about all the times i have to exalt dragons that don’t sell. you are seeing me being very selective about what i post. you dont sit and stare at my lair or click through offspring lists or check old sales posts. there are a lot of times where someone just doesn’t sell. even now when i’m selling stuff pretty consistently i will still sometimes have dragons that don’t sell for seemingly no reason. even dragons I think are sure to sell will sometimes just... not. and that’s ok! you gotta just be.. ok with that. it’s par for the course. i typically list dragons for 7 days on the AH, give them a couple more days after their auction expires (partially because i forget, partially to give them a grace period for people to pm/ask me about them), and then exalt them after that point. w/ some dragons that i don’t think got a fair shake for one reason or another (such as the sales post not showing up in the tag or something) i do a little clearance (like the halloween dragons i recently posted) but for the most part if they don’t sell, i just exalt them. 90% of the time i don’t even bother to level them up i just press the exalt button and call it a day. it’s fine

[infinite-xerath]

Runeterra Retcons 6: Shyvana

I’ll be honest: before doing the research to write this script, even I had no idea how complicated the history of Shyvana’s character was. Counting her current lore state, Shyvana has had no less than five different bios over the course of her existence, putting her in the same league as Warwick in terms of retcons. While I personally think that her current lore state is relatively fine as-is, there are definitely some aspects of her story that could use a little polishing up.

As always, though, we need to first take a look at Shyvana’s history in League and see what the core of her character concept is. With that established, we can try and build a more solid foundation for Runeterra’s resident half-dragon. So, without further ado, let’s see how she was originally envisioned in her very first bio.

Alright, so, Shyvana is a straight up human-dragon hybrid, conceived through… Well, the traditional means. I do think it’s interesting to note that this is actually the first mention of Celestial Dragons we get in the lore. Apparently, the concept for Aurelion Sol goes back all the way to the early days, though I doubt Celestial Dragons were anything like what we know them as today. Hard to say, given that this was the only mention of that entire subspecies in the old lore.

But, enough beating around the bush. As a whole, I think this bio is fine, all things considered. It leaves a lot of unanswered questions, sure, but it’s a decent basis to build her character off of. Most importantly, this bio establishes Shyvana’s connection to Jarvan IV: something that has remained consistent through every iteration of her character. While Warwick’s ties to Soraka were constantly fluctuating and eventually severed in his recent bio, Shyvana’s relationship to the Demacian prince is something all her future incarnations would carry over. Speaking of, let’s check out her second bio and see how her first retcon was handled.

So, Shyvana’s no longer Celestial in nature, which is probably for the best given that her element was always aligned more with fire than space. What’s more, it’s now established that half-dragons like her are hated by both humans and dragon-kind. Also, apparently most, if not all dragons can shape-shift now. Frankly, there are still a few mysteries left by this bio, such as who killed Shyvana’s father and what even happened to her mother. Still, it’s not awful, though Riot apparently decided that they wanted to give her a more active role rather than just being saved by Prince Jarvan. Thus, do we receive her third bio.

Alright, so once again, no real mention of Shyvana’s mother, and her father’s identity is still kinda vague. By this point, another recurring theme of Shyvana’s story should be evident: tragedy. Riot seems quite insistent on giving her the whole dead parent trope for her backstory, yet that’s never REALLY brought up in her character besides a single voice line: “By the blood of my father, I will end them!” Once again, we know nothing beyond the fact that her father was a dragon and her mother was inhuman. It might also be worth noting that no mention of shape-shifting is present in this version of the story, so… Take that how you will.

Still, I like this story because it helps to better establish a bond between Shyvana and J4, having them fight together to bring down a mutual enemy. This, in turn, turns the initial concept of Jarvan merely saving her out of pity to a relationship born of mutual respect. This was Shyvana’s backstory when I started playing League, and so this is the version of the character that I grew most familiar with. Still, Riot would retcon her again after the 2015 reboot, leaving us with her fourth bio. Buckle in folks, because this one is the longest by a landslide and there’s a LOT to go over here.

Phew! OK, that was a LOT to take in. Frankly, you could make an entire analysis about this version of the lore alone, but let’s just go over some of the major talking points, shall we? For the first time, Shyvana is no longer the offspring of a human and a dragon, but rather the result of a human using magic on a dragon egg. The reason for this direction is most likely because dragons in Runeterra can no longer shapeshift, so they needed to find a new way to justify her existence.

Once again, we touch upon the Vastaya Problem, where we have an entire race of half-human creatures that Shyvana could have easily been slotted into. Would the existence of dragon vastaya really be that much of a stretch, Riot? Well, I already harped on about that quite a bit with Warwick, so let’s just move on, shall we?

The fourth version of Shyvana’s bio is the first time in which her mother actually takes a prominent role: that of an antagonist. Yvva is actually pretty compelling as a villain, antagonizing Shyvana all her life while her father tries to protect her. The one major issue I have with this is that, if Shyvana’s dad knew about Demacia and that its petricite could conceal his daughter, why did he not think to bring Shyvana there sooner? I suppose he needed to train her to control her power first, but could the petricite not have also helped with that? Oh well. That’s a bit of a nitpick in the grand scheme of things, I admit.

The other major change here is that now the dynamic between Jarvan and Shyvana has been changed once again. Now, SHE is the one saving HIM, a complete reverse of the original story. While I don’t exactly have a problem with this, I do think Jarvan agreeing to help her fight Yvva comes off as a bit abrupt, and the Demacian soldiers seemed a bit too ready to accept her into their home. I mean, yes, she saved their prince, but fear of magic is rooted DEEP into their society. This is the same nation that would rather let entire fields succumb to disease and rot than rely on mages to sustain the crops.

While there are some other small issues I could nitpick about, I honestly think that the way they handle Jarvan and Shyvana’s team-up is the biggest by far. For a little context: Jarvan’s whole backstory is one of repentance. He gets cocky and tries to retake some land from the control of Noxus without the sanction of the king, and his recklessness and inexperience wind up getting his men killed and himself gravely injured. This is what leads to him being found and saved by Shyvana.

Though Shyvana’s bio would be rewritten one more time, the way in which she and Jarvan meet and team up to take on Yvva remains more-or-less the same. Frankly, I’m not a big fan of this. I like the idea in concept, but the fact is that Yvva isn’t really Jarvan’s antagonist. She is a threat to Demacia and Jarvan does redeem himself by helping to bring her down at Wrenwall, but it feels more like he’s just jumping in to help Shyvana deal with HER problem out of gratitude.

That being said, this is an analysis about SHYVANA’S character, so let’s take a look at her fifth and final bio to determine her current lore state, shall we?

Alright, so I’ll be honest: I think this might be the worst version of her story so-far. To begin with, it’s not even really clear WHY Shyvana is the way she is. At least the previous version of the lore made it clear that a human mage tampering with the egg is the reason why Shyvana became a half-dragon, but in this story, the baby mutates just because of his proximity? Even then, that may not even be the cause. “Whether it was the act of removing it from the nest, or the last moon of autumn giving way to winter, something had changed.” So, yeah, it’s even really clear what caused Shyvana to take on human qualities.

Also, can we just acknowledge another bizarre line from this bio? “From an early age, she was able to shift her form into something monstrous, akin to the half-dragons of ancient myth.” So, hold on, there have been half-dragons before Shyvana? This is something that’s occurred in the past? Can we get some elaboration on this? No? We’re just going to ignore that. Alright then. Moving on.

This version of the bio tries to reintroduce the tragedy of Shyvana losing her father, but it’s honestly handled a lot less gracefully here, in my opinion. He’s just a random human mage that decided to raise her out of pity, and his death is kind of pathetic, honestly. In the previous lore, Shyvana’s dragon father gave his life defending her, whereas this nameless mage is just killed unceremoniously in Yvva’s rampage. Even his burial feels rushed and anticlimactic.

As for Jarvan’s introduction this time, well… My prior thoughts still stand. Shyvana’s lore has always been connected to his, but I truly believe their relationship was handled best in the third version of the lore, where they had a mutual enemy to bring down. Hell, he doesn’t really even do much in the showdown against Yvva other than have his soldiers fire arrows. It all feels like a hyper-condensed version of Shyvana’s fourth bio, which is understandable given how long it was, but a story like this kind of needs to be properly fleshed out if we’re meant to actually CARE about the individual story beats.

 So, with all that said and established, let’s get into the meat of this one, shall we? Without further ado, I present to you all: my reinterpretation of Shyvana’s backstory. Please, enjoy.

Among the many breeds of dragon that inhabit Runeterra, few command as much fear and respect as the rare elemental drakes. Though they command the primal magics of the world itself, elemental drakes are be reclusive creatures, typically lashing out only when their territory is disturbed. For this reason, the lands near Nockmirch remained untouched by mortal settlements for centuries, as all knew the name of the beast who ruled them: Yvva, the fire drake.

For years, Yvva inspired tales of terror and reverence alike, feasting on travelers and traders who dared to intrude upon her lands. Even her mate, Urgrin, feared Yvva’s power and fiery temper. Unbeknownst to Yvva, Urgrin was no ordinary dragon: in truth, he was a member of an ancient vastayan tribe with the power to take on draconic form. As his kind dwindled in number, what few of Urgrin’s people remained scattered to the winds, with Urgrin himself maintaining his draconic form constantly in the hopes of finding a strong partner.

At first, Urgrin believed himself fortunate to partner with an elemental drake, but as their clutch of eggs began to hatch, he felt himself growing increasingly worried. Only one of these younglings bore Yvva’s primal fire, meaning that the rest would likely be discarded or eaten. When the final egg hatched, Urgrin was shocked to find not a dragon youngling, but a girl with purple skin and horns. He’d not thought it possible, but this child was vastayan just as he was, and her birth would expose Urgrin’s secret to Yvva.

Fearing for both his life and girl’s, Urgrin fled the under the cover of night. Resuming his vastayan form for the first time in decades, Urgrin took shelter in the northern mountains, hoping that the cold of the Freljord would deter Yvva’s pursuit. There, he raised his daughter in secret, naming her Shyvana out of his lingering respect for her mother.

For a time, Shyvana and Urgrin lived in relative solitude. Urgrin taught Shyvana all about her vastayan heritage, but as she grew, it became apparent that Shyvana had inherited something from her mother as well: the primal elemental magic of a fire drake. Urgrin spent years teaching Shyvana how to harness her rage, hoping to keep his daughter from succumbing to the same fiery temperament as her mother. Though this training seemed effective at first, Shyvana’s power only grew with time. This power, in-turn, became a beacon, luring Yvva to the far north in pursuit of her stolen child and traitorous mate.

One day, as Shyvana was returning from a hunt, she was shocked to find her house ablaze. Two great dragons clashed in the skies above, one of whom she instantly recognized as her father. Shyvana tried to join the fight, only for Yvva to turn her wrath on the half-blood child. Urgrin shielded Shyvana from his mother’s fury, astonishing even Yvva with his strength. Even so, Urgrin was clearly losing the fight, and so he bid Shyvana to flee south to a land called Demacia, where petricite walls could dampen her magic and shield her from Yvva’s wrath. Begrudgingly, Shyvana did as told, trekking through the mountains as her father gave his life on her behalf.

After a long, hard trek, Shyvana finally reached the land her father spoke of: Demacia, a kingdom made of petricite. She quickly found herself an outcast, forced to hide from the magic-fearing humans that lived inside petricite walls. And yet, just as her father said, those same walls served to dim her power and hide Shyvana from her mother’s fury. Even still, Yvva would not relent so easily.

For years, Yvva scorched Demacian settlements near the border in search of her daughter, forcing the Shyvana to remain constantly on the move. Hunted by her mother and persecuted by the people around her, Shyvana found herself utterly alone in the world. Finally, after years of dogged pursuit, Shyvana had had enough. Embracing her inner fire, Shyvana took flight on blazing wings and ascended the mountains near Nockmirch, where she found Yvva waiting for her.

The two drakes clashed for hours, primal flame against primal flame. Their battle charred the nearby plains and melted stone, yet for all her ferocity, Shyvana was ultimately no match for her mother’s fury. Yvva sent her daughter plummeting into a nearby river, content to leave her half-breed daughter to drown. As Yvva fled, however, Shyvana dragged herself out of the water, reverting back to her humanoid form as she gasped for breath. Battered and beaten, Shyvana wandered blindly for days, knowing full-well that her mother would likely come for her again soon.

Eventually, Shyvana encountered a young man in charred armor at the base of the Argent Mountains, who himself looked to be barely clinging to life. She learned that this man, too, had sought to challenge Yvva and lost. His soldiers had sacrificed themselves on his behalf, leaving the young man stranded and alone. Sensing an unusual kinship with this stranger, Shyvana offered to bring him to the nearest Demacian settlement, and to her surprise, the stranger agreed. Even after revealing herself to be Yvva’s daughter, the stranger bore her no hostility.

The people of Cloudfield were not so inviting. At first, many were terrified of Shyvana, and yet their fear turned to elation when they realized who her companion was. This man, she learned, was none-other than the prince of Demacia himself: Jarvan IV. Seeking to end Yvva’s reign of terror on his kingdom’s borders, the prince had set out with a handful of elite soldiers, only to return to home in shame and defeat. For coming to his aid, the people of Cloudfield begrudgingly allowed Shyvana to remain amongst them to heal her wounds while the prince .

Though grateful for their hospitality, Shyvana knew her presence would only draw Yvva to her sooner or later. As she made to depart, Shyvana was approached by Jarvan once again, this time with a proposition: alone, they had failed to defeat the fire drake, but together they may stand a chance.

Jarvan and Shyvana traveled to the fortress of Wrenwall, where they began to develop a plan. Jarvan would organize his troops and set traps in place for Yvva, while Shyvana flew ahead to garner her mother’s attention. Though reluctant to place her faith in these mere humans, Shyvana understood that this would be her final chance to avenge her father. Sure enough, when Shyvana neared Nockmirch once more, Yvva’s furious cry shook the heavens themselves as she began her pursuit.

Once again, the fire drakes clashed, but this time Shyvana wasn’t planning to defeat her mother with raw force. Instead, she led Yvva closer and closer to the fortress of Wrenwall, where Jarvan and his soldiers were waiting. Believing her daughter’s retreat an act of cowardice, Yvva was taken totally off-guard by the volley of petricite bolts launched from the fortress’s ballista. As the bolts tore into her scales, Yvva felt her power weakening, and Shyvana was quick to capitalize on this. Once again, their battle was intense, yet Shyvana now had the upperhand as Jarvan himself led a new battalion into the fray.

Even weakened, Yvva fought hard until her last breath. She tore at her daughter’s scales and devoured Demacian soldiers, yet in the end, the fire drake was outnumbered and outmatched. Shyvana sank her teeth into her mother’s neck while Jarvan plunged a spear deep into her forehead. In that moment, the flames of Yvva finally flickered out, and the soldiers of Wrenwall cheered in triumph.

In the aftermath of the battle, Jarvan approached Shyvana once again, this time with another proposition: in exchange for her loyalty, he would offer her a place among Demacia’s elite. Awed and humbled by the prince’s might and valor, Shyvana knelt and swore her loyalty on the spot. Though many still harbor doubts about the half-dragon, she serves her prince with undying devotion and respect. Shyvana’s fire burns for Demacia and Demacia alone, and those who threaten her new home are to learn that even a half-dragon’s fury is not to be trifled with.

Alright, so, the biggest and most notable change from the get-go: I made Shyvana vastayan rather than human. I understand that this might seem a bit controversial to some, but it doesn’t really contradict or change anything. Shyvana is simply called the half-dragon; there’s never any mention of what her other half actually is.

Ideally, I would have liked to keep her half-human as well, but since Riot clearly wants to remove the concept of dragon-human intercourse to produce an offspring naturally, the only option that remains is the contrived method of “it happens because a human was near the egg.” Like, that’s the same sort of logic as Rengar becoming anthropomorphic because he was raised by a human hunter as a cub. It’s just silly, if we’re being honest, and the human “father” in Shyvana’s last two bios has been such a non-entity that they don’t really even bother to give him a name.

So yes, I’m making Shyana half-vastayan, not unlike Sett in a way. Again, I get why some might take issue with this, but I feel like that’s a much easier and simpler route to go with. Of course, the other big change would mean rewriting a bit of Jarvan’s story as well, though that’s kind of inevitable; the two are so closely intwined that changing one story kind of has to impact the other.

Now, I don’t think J4’s current bio is bad enough to warrant a full rewrite, but as I stated before: I think his story would work a lot better if he also had a personal reason to fight Yvva in the first place. I think that having him lose soldiers to her rather than some random Noxians fits more thematically and gives him more reason to team up with Shyvana. I also wanted to give him a bigger role to play in bring Yvva down, to further emphasize that she’s an opponent Jarvan and Shyvana could only defeat by working together.

Overall, Shyvana’s current lore state isn’t the worst I’ve seen, but it could definitely do with some improvements. I hope you all enjoyed my take on her character, as this was possibly the lengthiest retcon to write. As always, though, feel free to share your thoughts down below, and I’ll see you all next time!

[mental-mona]

How The Mentally Ill Can Improve Their Relationships

I've done some posts in the past on how people should treat the mentally ill. Now I'd like to look at the other side of the equation: ways for us mentally ill folks to optimize our interactions with others so that we get the support we need without frustrating everyone around us. Before you start yelling at me that it's not our job to worry about how our mental illnesses make our friends feel, let me make it clear that while in theory I agree with you on that, in reality the rest of the world is going to get annoyed with us very quickly if we just kind of throw ourselves out there with no thought to how our behavior is affecting our loved ones. Agreed, when people react to us in super annoying ways or decide that they're "sick of our drama" and cut us off, their meanness is not our fault. However, these are some things we can do to improve the connection from our end, and maybe even prevent some of the irritating behavior.

Tell your loved ones what you need from them as best you can. Your friends may not have any experience with mental illness and therefore have no clue what you need at any given time; they need to be able to take their cues from you. Before you call/message your loved ones, stop and think about what responses you're looking for in each conversation, then express what it is you need. You're much more likely to get the support you want if you can tell them at the start of a conversation that, for example, you just need to vent, or that you need reassurance, or that you need their help with a chore.

Tell your loved ones if something they're saying/doing is hurtful. As I said, people are clueless, and sometimes the most well-meaning ones can say and do the stupidest things. Since your loved ones are not mind readers, if something they're doing is annoying you, politely call them on it and if possible suggest a better way to treat you. As with any conflict, use "I statements" and try to be nice about it to the extent that you can without toning down your message. If someone just won't stop, perhaps they're not someone you want in your life right now.

Warn your loved ones if today's mood requires extra understanding. It's hard for people to deal with weird behaviors and displays of emotion if they're blindsided by them. If something about your mood requires extra consideration, e.g. you're manic and might burst into giggle fits or say wildly inappropriate things, or you're super anxious about seeing your folks and just the word "mother" will make you burst into tears, warn your loved ones about that at the beginning of your conversations. That way there's less potential for them to step on emotional landmines or be completely thrown off by your disconcerting behavior.

Back off if a loved one can't help you at a given moment. Sometimes people are busy when you call, or are shouldering their own huge life burdens and won't be able to carry any more weight for a while. Don't take it personally; they'd be there for you if they could, but now (and possibly the foreseeable future) is not a good time. Don't give them the Eeyore "Oh, I guess you're busy/have bigger problems than me, that's ok I'll just go sit in my puddle of self-pity" guilt trip, don't insist on talking anyway, just wish them well and try again another time.

Don't get clingy. No one person should have to bear the burden of all your sorrows on top of their own. Have multiple confidantes, and regularly switch up who gets the job of being your rock for that week/day/hour. If your coping mechanism involves talking to a ton of friends on a regular basis, each friend should get the daily digest, not 3 calls a day of little tidbits. In fact, unless you're trying to set up plans to see each other that day, you should probably leave it after 2 attempts at calling if you only get voicemail. If you prefer instant messaging, as I said above, respect your loved ones' time and don't go nuts if they don't answer you immediately or have to leave or whatever, don't try to talk to them every spare moment, and don't make a habit of kvetching at them the second they come online. Roughly the same goes for texting.

Don't turn your loved ones into surrogate therapists. Loved ones are there to be generally emotionally and sometimes physically supportive, but it's not their job to help you process every thought and emotion or get to the root of deep-seated problems. Questions like, "I think that my craving for approval is at the heart of most of my issues. Does this make sense to you?," are topics that are far more suited to discussions with your therapist than discussions with your friends. Basically, the issue is this: Your therapist is trained to advise and/or guide you in a direction that will eventually lead to you resolving your issues. Your loved ones are not so trained, and may give you bad advice or quite simply be clueless as to how to respond.

TL;DR - Tell your loved ones how best to deal with you that day, and accept that any one person's ability to help you is limited. Maybe it requires a bit more mindfulness than you're used to, but it's not impossible, and unless your loved ones are complete jerks or already burned out, these things make a difference. Give them a shot.

[yurawiththegoodhair]

A Kiss Where It Doesn’t Hurt

Another day, another kiss! Thank you all so much for the response yesterday!  My goal is to write one a day, so I’ll be covered with some form of content for the next 48 days xD If you prefer to read on AO3 or ff.net, it’s posted there too! A note: none of these will be edited or beta’ed, I literally wrote this on my notes app while working a wedding last night. Story below the cut! 

“You should’ve listened to me,” she chided, running a cotton swab from her first aid kit over just one of the numerous cuts and bruises on his legs.

He winced at the sting, and she bit back a smile. Half-demon or not, he wasn’t immune to the biting pain of antiseptic on wounds.

“How the fuck was I supposed to know that thing was so unstable?” he groused at his wife. 

“I’m not so sure it was ‘that thing’s’ fault,” she said, reaching back for more hydrogen peroxide. “And considering you insisted that we wait until the baby was asleep before you tried to ride the bike, you know, when it’s DARK outside, I’m not sure exactly what you expected.”

“She doesn’t need to see me making a fool of myself!”

“She’s a year old, Inuyasha!”

“Seeing your old man make an ass of himself can leave a lasting impression!”

Kagome rolled her eyes and sat back. “Oh, yes, letting your child see that you’re part human would be such a travesty.” 

“Glad you see it my way. And I can see just fine in the dark, thank you very much.”

“Clearly,” she drawled sarcastically, removing another piece of gravel from his shin.

So much about him had changed from the angry teenager she’d met nearly a decade before, but his moods were definitely not something that had. Thankfully, she was experienced in them now, and with experience came knowledge, and knowledge led to the ability to soothe. 

“Maybe next time we can have you try when it’s daylight out, yeah?” she tried to pacify, but he just crossed his arms and let out a huff of air, so she went back to her work. “I think it’s very cute you want to learn, so you can show her one day.”

He growled at her use of that word, though it had no real bite to it. Cute. He told her on at least a weekly basis he was nothing of the sort. 

“I still can’t believe you never learned how to ride a bike as a kid,” she said, while opening a bandage.

“Well, Sesshomaru wasn’t exactly the nurturing type,” he offered nonchalantly.

“Still isn’t,” she added with a shake of her head.

She was about to stick the bandaid to his skin, when he started fussing again. 

“Hey, stop that,” he said, batting her hands away. “Only thing actually wounded is my ego. These’ll be gone in an hour.”

A wily smile lit her face. “That’s too bad. I was going to kiss all your hurt better.”

His eyes grew large before an obviously fake pout marred his handsome features. “In that case, I hurt everywhere.”

“Mmm, is that so?” she asked, slinking up his body until their foreheads touched and she could feel his breath on her face. “What about places that don’t hurt that I could kiss instead, so I don’t accidentally injure you further?”

Inuyasha shrugged and held her gaze. “I can think of a couple of places.”

“Would this be one of them?” she breathed, before brushing her lips teasingly over his own, enjoying the tiny whimper he let out at the contact.

“It’s not the main one, but that’ll work, too.”

“You really are an ass,” she replied, and the grin he gave her made her heart skip a beat.

“But you love me anyway,” he said smugly.

“That’s debatable,” she said with an unladylike snort. 

He had the grace to look mildly offended before she giggled at him and eagerly closed the space between their lips.

She couldn’t help but melt against him while he worked her mouth, placing both hands on either side of her face to bring her as close as he could. He was such a rough man, all hard edges and scowls, but when he kissed her like this, he was so soft, it made her knees weak. And when she felt him give a gentle pull to her bottom lip, a move he knew would guarantee him entrance, she was lost.

He’d just delved into her lips, when reality came crashing in with a sad and pitiful whine of ‘papa’ coming through the baby monitor next to them.

Kagome paused, instinctually turning her head towards the sound, but Inuyasha pulled her attention back with a kiss to the corner of her mouth. 

“Ignore it, she’ll go back to sleep,” he urged, just before an even more insistent cry of his name came from their daughter. One that could be heard without the monitor. 

His ears flattened against his head. “Guess that’s my cue,” he sighed, still not moving away from his wife.

“She probably knows about the bike. Wants to make sure you’re ok,” she joked, and was rewarded with a playful shove.

“Fuck off,” he laughed, as he reluctantly extracted himself from her hold, and moved down the hallway.

“Hey,” she called after him, and he stopped just outside the nursery door. “Let’s try it again tomorrow ok?”

She was rewarded with a half smile and a nod before he disappeared into their daughter’s room.

[mageglory]

And here we go with the last two episodes of

Dragon Age Redemption (Of a Plot).

My baby Josmael finally gets to flip off Tallis -I don't hate Tallis, but this movie has her at her worst attitude- and Cairn and gets a reaver friend. We start with episode 5. Are you ready? Let's go.

-The episode starts with our protagonists fighting in the inn, where we left them and oh Maker did I said how I love the guy with the hammer? Not only he has a gigantic rubber hammer, he's also bald, grinning and with a dark beard. He's the perfect evil enchnman clichè and I want 20 of them thank you very much. He even says "GRAAAWL!" before starting the fight. I love you, random evil hammer guy.

-The fights goes more or less the same, the only thing I'm gonna change is that the innkeeper does not randomly knocks out Josmael because I find not very realistic that a civilian would throw herself in a fight. She still gets angry at the gang for fucking up the inn and takes their money, but she spends the fight hiding to safety behind the table and immediately after the fight and them buying informations from the innkeeper. If we have to add something, I would not mind Josmael or someone else asking what Nyree did, so we can throw some informations about Reaver abitilities to the viewer instead of just assuming I know.

-Ok it's a specific DA movie, so if you are watching you probably know about reavers and lore already, but a good rule of storytelling is to never assume the player/viewer already knows, and I study games.

-Anyway the gang is now in the dark (it was daylight in the previous scene why is now dark? what did they waste time on?? That's a mystery between them and the script) or still daylight if we want to be more realistic. They are talking about how those guys were waiting for them and how did Sarebaas knew they were gonna enter that inn, since Sarebaas is obviously behind this?

-Tallis is like "Josmael told us about the shortcut I don't trust him" and knocks him against the stone. But since we are less than 20 minutes from the end, Josmael is tired of being harrassed by his "allies" and having to take it for the sake of the mission so he hits Tallis with a mind blast and tells her to get her hands off him. Cairn takes out his sword, but he feels cold against his neck and realizes Nyree is keeping her weapon on him, estabilishing sides officially.

-Josmael explains how he followed the instructions on a message for the person he loved, NOT to betray them and Craig snaps towards him yelling "deceitful little apostate!" but is once again stopped by Nyree who growls at him "Don't Try It, Anakin torturer!" since it's a stalemate, Craig does his "I know nothing good could come of you" but Josmael is defiant, not scared (well ok maybe he is scared too but he's not gonna take this from Meredith little boy). At the "You're tainted!" Josmael snaps that the dalish have heard the stories about the Knight Commander of Kirkwall and if he's tainted at the eyes of someone who was hurting elders in chains then he's proud. Cairn tries to surpass Nyree to kill him and is knocked down instead.

-Nyree does her reveal, telling that the boy is right and even if he wasn't Cairn is way worse than a lie out of love, for he caused Sarebaas escape by trying to kill him. Tallis interrogates Cairn about it and Cairn admits how he tried to kill the mage but was overpowered. (Nice to see Templars are usless as always).

-Blablabla Sarebaas killed Cairn family after his village near Kirkwall took pity of him? Ehh no. We are not doing Sten 2.0 on the simple basis that Sten had a (wrong but still logical) motivation.

-Instead when asked "why" Cairn will tell that his family did took pity on Sarebaas but he did not trusted him. Then one night he entered the barn where Sarebaas was being let sleep (since the family did not had enough room for him) and caught him doing bloodmagic and summoning demons. Cairn, as a Templar who was visiting his family, realized the qunari wasn't "simple" a qunari, but a mage and a maleficar and when he tried to arrest him as is his duty Sarebaas killed his family trying to escape.

-Some of you could say "but this still makes Sarebaas the cartoon villain evil mage?" and I say, in Mickey Mouse voice, "This is a plot point that will serve us later". For now, like the Hinterlands, bear with me. (Yes I know my jokes are great).

-Anyway in the fight and after seeing his little sister die in his arms, Cairn was stopped from killing Sarebaas by the Chantry (specifing they stopped him only because they wanted to "experiment" on him not because murdering mages is wrong), tried to kill him later and messed up.

-Instead of framing Josmael and making Cairn looks #angsthero we have Josmael in the right and Cairn in a "yeah he caused this and I dont like him but I can understand the trauma" (for now) situation.

-Then Nyree realizes Josmael legged out to reach Sundermount alone and Tallis says some curse in qunlat instead of "Andraste's Ass" because if she can curse in qunlat during Mark of the Assassin she can do it now too.

-We start with episode 6, the last episode, with Josmael getting close to the altar (thankfully my Hawke never looted the elven graves lmao. The last thing this boy needs is an horde of angry ravenants).

-Behind him Nyree shows up and says she prefers to help him than help Tallis and Cairn. Josmael points out he has no money and Nyree answers something along the lines of "I already have the money kid. But you know we mercenaries, we have no honor and it's better than a fake one".

-Tallis and Cairn reach them and Cairn wants to fight but Tallis intervenes doing her "we all want to defeat Sarebaas let's keep working more or less together and we can solve this later" so each party goes hiding behind some rocks, waiting for the enemy.

-While Tallis and Cairn talk (with NO romantic music thank you very much) Cairn admits Meredith didn't allowed the mission and says that he thinks he will not be able to go back. "The Knight-Commander is not the kind of woman who forgives lack of control"

-They are very pompous about it but it's made clear to the viewer that one side wants to murder a mage and the other wants to enslave him. Since we think Cairn wants revenge for his family and we have previously seen Sarebaas look of horror towards his collar, we are like "well I hope the bastard Templar kills Sarebaas seems the more justified of the two options and probably Sarebaas would rather die than return to the Qun"

-They still try to recruit each other, but there is no kiss or romance, only two zealots trying to recruit the other in their creed.

-We entirely skip that scene with Nyree and Josmael. You know the one. ENTIRELY I SAID.

-They instead talk about how Nyree has seen Templars harrass mages in Nevarra when they could and throw dirty look at Mortalitasi and Josmael thanks her for siding with him in the past.

-Sarebaas and the bad guys arrive with Fina (Josmael beloved in case I didn't specified already) and a battle plan is made, with the four protagonists reunited on the same rock.

-I take a moment to appreciate how Sarebaas long nails are pained black and way better than Voldemort dirty ones. Remember kids, being an evil mage hell bent on conquering the land with a demon army is no reason to look dirty.

-Sarebaas start the ritual and when Josmael tries to put Fina to safety she tells Sarebaas the enemy is here. Josmael is shocked but then he realizes that Fina is controlled by blood magic. Because that makes at least more sense than "being kidnapped by the villain of the story makes me feel special I so love being a sacrifice"

-I clap at Sarebaas calling the dead to him because necromancy is always cool, even on low budget.

-Fina still gets Stabbed because Sarebaas magic pushed Josmael against her while he was struggling to take the knife away from her without hurting her and the blood activates the ritual. Instead of being immediately defeated, Sarebaas and Josmael are locked into a magic duel until the mask doesn't power up Sarebaas, then Josmael is throwed away.

-As in canon, Sarebaas magically blocks Cairn and thanks him and Cairn yells at him he's a monster but Sarebaas reveals the truth. He never did bloodmagic to kill Cairn family. Cairn killed his family.

-The true story is that yes Sarebaas, being Sarebaas/a mage was using his powers in the barn, but he was doing enthropic magic. Cairn, already blinded by hate and rage because of the difficulties with th Qun in Kirkwall and his own racism (fueled by Petrice, altought she's not directly mentioned because he couldn't know this, but we know), assumed entropy was blood magic without taking a second to check/ask and tried to kill Sarebaas.

-In the fight, the family and others ran in to see what was going on, Cairn tried to kill Sarebaas and instead stabbed his sister who was trying to stop it and a flying spell set the barn on fire. After being arrested and taken to Kirkwall, Sarebaas -enslaved by the Qun all his life and now an attempt to a new life destroyed by racism- decided that it's better to be feared than a weapon in other people hands and so when Cairn tried to kill him again, making him escape, Sarebaas seized the occasion to chase the mask and exact revenge on everyone.

-Still a villain, but a villain caused by Cairn himself and by the Qun treatment of people. It's a very "Luke I'm your father" "That's not true! That's impossible!" moment, except Luke is the bad guy who caused everything and Vader is still the bad guy but he's spilling the beans.

-So Sarebaas thanks Cairn for "showing him the truth of the world" and the fight goes on.

-Josmael asks Tallis to pass him a knife and cuts himself on the hand, using blood magic to stop the bloodmagic. While the rest of the group keeps Sarebaas busy, Josmael calls the blood out of the mask. No blood, no mask power, no mask power, no ritual. The Fade rift that was forming closes. Cairn gets ellectrocuted by magic but Tallis manages to put the qun control collar on Sarebaas, making him powerless.

-Cairn dies *world smallest violin plays* and when Tallis asks why he didn't tried to live his life Sarebaas tells her "You heard me talking to your Templar. I try and failed. Then I had the means to do harm... So I took them." and his "Qunari made me this way" bit, making the audience realize that while this doesn't justify Sarebaas actions, Thedas denied his attempts to be something that wasn't a weapon at every turn.

-Since there is no romance nobody particularly cares for Cairn, so Tallis is still intentioned to bring Sarebass back in chains.

-Sarebaas and Tallis are stopped by Josmael, who tells him he can't forgive him, but he knows part of his struggles, since the same people who denied a new life to him are the people who try to kidnap dalish kids with magic.

-Josmael looks at Sarebaas who nods and two spells make two things happen: his collar is broken and the second spell turns him into ice, breaking him in pieces and killing him. Sarebaas dies, but he dies free.

-Instead of having Josmael randomly hug Tallis in the end after she stabbed him, stole from his clan and treathened him, she argues with Josmael because she wanted to bring the prisoner to the Qun, but then she realizes that she is alone against two and angrily leaves.

-But first, Nyree throws the money of her payment (who were the clan stolen money) to Josmael, then takes Tallis money for herself.

-Nyree tells Josmael he is a great First and will one day be a great Keeper too and Josmael gives her an elven token of friendship so that other clans she could meet will recognize her as a friend of the People. He tells her it's not guaranteed that all clans will accept her, but still.

-They bury Fina together.

-Camera shows the sunset on Soundermount.

-The End.

Also yes, it is possible to interact with Josmael the First in Dragon Age 2 at the Sabrae camp in my mind. Because Merrill needs her people tp support her.