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tauforged · 11 months ago

Note

do you have any tips for someone who wants to get into warframe for the first time?

- don’t start with the duviri/drifter quest when given the option. it’s cool, don’t get me wrong, but it will be very confusing and you won’t revisit any of the stuff that’s touched upon until way way later in the game. start off in the origin system, the story progresses a lot more naturally from that start point. i don’t really know why they made this an option.

- you dont HAVE to buy platinum. they start you off with like 50 i think? it’s not necessary for anything aside from buying additional warframe/weapon slots. everything else is cosmetic or optional. you can get mroe plat later on by trading with other players (if you do want to buy plat for cosmetics or whatever, i recommend waiting until you get a discount as your daily login bonus. iirc they range from 25, 50, or 75% off. they’re pretty much entirely random though so don’t feel obligated to use one if you do get it and don’t need plat at the moment so it goes to waste. you’ll get another)

- even if you decide you don’t like a weapon you end up crafting, you’ll be better off if you level it up to the maximum rank (30) before selling it rather than trashing it outright, that way you won’t have to go back and get it again later on in the game in order to complete it. the more stuff you level in full, the faster you progress through mastery ranks, and some stuff is mastery rank locked so you’re gonna wanna pay attention to your progress.

- you’re gonna wanna join a clan as soon as possible. you can find some via the recruiting channel, or probably by asking around on social media, idk. i started my own (not recommended unless you’ve got a group of friends you can rally or feel like recruiting to fill out your ranks in order to actually get stuff done) so i don’t really know what the clan recruiting scene looks like. having access to a clan dojo makes life a lot easier (and can make finding people to play with less of a hassle too)

- the story itself doesn’t really pick up steam until you start the ‘natah’ quest. in between the start and there, you’ll mostly be doing a lot of running around trying to familiarize yourself with the setting and playing catch-up. don’t worry too much about all the stuff they throw at you all at once. almost all the quests are replayable through your codex if you ever want to refresh your memory, and for those that aren’t, the wiki is… usually a pretty decent source as far as summaries go. i’d take it with a grain of salt though.

- this one especially tripped my sister up so i’m gonna touch on it: you’re going to be required to do the ‘heart of deimos’ quest in order to progress past mars on the star chart. IMHO, this quest REALLY should not be mandatory so early on in the game — you aren’t going to be able to make heads or tails of anything anyone is telling you. don’t be afraid to breeze thru it w/o paying much attention and circle back around later in the game, preferably sometime after you finish the war within or at LEAST the second dream. i genuinely don’t know why they’re throwing baby tenno to the wolves on this one. just know it’ll all make sense later i prommy

- don’t worry too much about the open world areas like the orb vallis, the plains of eidolon, or the cambion drift at first. they’re very cool (and you’ll be introduced to them via their respective quests) but they can be overwhelming to new players and the difficulty spike might be frustrating, especially before you’ve unlocked a majority of the tools available to you.

- this game has been ongoing for over ten years at this point - there’s a LOT going on. take your time progressing at a comfortable pace. don’t be afraid to ask around for help if you’re stuck on something or getting frustrated trying to farm a specific part or material.

- if people try to talk down on you for being a lower mastery rank or w/e they’re literally just being an asshole. MR isn’t indicative of skill so much as it is a representation of how much gear you’ve leveled, which is basically just an indicator of how much time you’ve spent playing - a chimp smacking a keyboard can feasibly hit legendary after enough attempts. you’re fine. hell, i’ve been here since 2013 and i’m only MR 19 LMAO

- the ‘meta’ for this game is wildly subjective due to the vast customizability of builds. take everyone’s opinions with several grains of salt and don’t be afraid to experiment on your own to see what works for you

- dont read general chat. it’s not worth it. nobody in there is as funny as they think they are

- the most important part of being a tenno is having fun and being yourself :)

#i have a headache sorry if i missed anything LOL

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theunaestheticstudyblr · 3 years ago

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UNIVERSITY WITH MENTAL ILLNESS

Mental health and illness is already hard enough, but adding school pressure on top is hard. High school was easier for me since there is a lot more structure and a lot less choice, which is why I'm targeting this towards college and university students.

Firstly is attending class. Getting to class is a major hurdle, especially with a commute like me (1 hour+) broke people problems lmao. Driving that long to go to a class just to drive back home is already exhausting and unpleasant, especially knowing professors will post slides or something after class anyways. But you have to drag yourself there. One thing I do to help is dress up. I'll do my makeup and put on nicer clothes. Why does this work for me? I hate wasting stuff, especially money and to me, putting on makeup is spending money essentially (same logic as using rare items in a video game idk). I can't just sit around the house and waste the money I just put on my face so I gotta go to class. Small things like this to trick your brain works so well. Before this, there was a restaurant I absolutely loved next to campus so if I went to every class for two weeks I would reward myself by going there. Another thing that helps is making plans with people ahead of time. They'll hold you accountable on days that you can't.

Take rest days. Schedule one whole day a week where you don't do school or go to work. It's a day completely off for anything. I use this day to do chores in the morning and then just lay around and do absolutely nothing all afternoon and night. This helps recharge and reduce stimulation and socialization. It gives your brain that little rest it cries for every day. I used to panic so much about this one day because I could be working and making money or studying or doing anything to be productive until I had a week where I couldn't do anything because I broke down completely, mentally and physically. Now I see it as a preservation day. I use this day to recover from everything.

Make your notes pretty. I hate going back and looking at my messy class notes. Everything is scattered and messy and I get frustrated. What I do instead is make a virtual, concise copy that is pretty to me. I'll add little sketches, color, pictures, etc. This helps draw my attention and allows me to study while doing it! Making the second copy forces you to go through the material after a class is over and review the material to decide what is truly important and then organize it all and then rewrite it all. This has been a huge help.

Use class breaks to snack or grab coffee. One thing I have found in many people with high anxiety is that food and drinks really help calm you down. I've found some research suggesting it's because food is a signal that things are safe and therefore makes you more relaxed, though I don't know much about anthropology and psychology fields. I find this really helps to calm me down after I had a very stressful test so that I can be more present for the next class. Gum helps a lot on high anxiety/panic days as well.

Download the notes or slides, especially if posted ahead of time. This way you have access even if you don't have wifi. You can even pull them up in lectures so you don't have to focus on the board the whole time. For my people with autism, this has helped me so much. There are times where you can't focus on the professor and the slides and the sounds and writing, so doing this cuts out having to watch the teacher and the board. Bonus points if you can record during lecture as well so you can revisit parts that you zoned out in or couldn't focus on.

Keep a journal or diary and list your activities, food, weather, etc in it as well as your mood. This can help you find correlations to hack shit. My favorite way of doing this is through the Daylio app (I wrote a post about it here). Like I notice that days when it's rainy, I study and read more and days where I walk more and eat breakfast, I focus better and am happier overall. This information helps so much. If I know it's going to rain tomorrow, I won't try to force myself to study a bunch today and instead save that energy for later. Instead, I'll take care of myself and go for a walk or something. Knowing how you work and why really makes a HUGE difference.

This might just be my autism brain, but finding cool things related to the topic at hand has helped me keep interest in at least a little of the subject, helping me study more. Like I don't like chimaeras (a fish group) BUT for some reason I love fish teeth and these fishes have a very unique tooth set. This at least let's me know something instead of just ignoring and forgetting everything. 20% is better than nothing.

Find a reason to study what you do, even if it's just that you need this class to graduate. Just taking classes for no reason seems like something neurotypical people are able to do. I can't do it. I need a reason and if I can't find one, I just give up. I used to always say it was useless and pointless and didn't understand why it was required. But I realized the reason to take it is because I want a piece of paper that says I traded lots of money and sanity for it. And that reason has to be good enough.

Make study games. Games are more fun than lifeless paper. Matching games, crosswords, coloring pages, whatever you like!

Feel free to add your tips to this post as well!! I always have room for improvement and experimentation, especially for really hard days. I still find myself skipping even online classes some days. No one had all the answers or has everything figured out. This is just an incomplete list of things that have helped me out a bit and made college life a bit easier.

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negasonicimagines · 3 years ago

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Tell Me I'm Not Funny

Request: darkandmysteriousbutheartofgold!ellie and wholesomeanddoesn'tunderstandwhyelliedoesn'tlikeher!reader where they're both part of the friend group but ellie just thinks reader is straight and messing with her pls

Notes: I don’t usually write MCU!Peter, so if he comes up in any future fics (like as the reader’s stepdad 👀 I’ve loved spideypool longer than I’ve loved Negasonic) you can safely assume it’s Andrew Garfield. But, for this time, this is MCU!Peter. Everyone in the friend group is 18-20, just to be clear.

This really isn't my best work, but it's a fun little slice of life piece. A lot of my ideas are pretty cinematic, I can picture them in my head but sometimes those pictures don't really translate into words. I may revisit this one day.

Warnings: D-slur (reclaimed by Ellie in one line), allusions to prior assault (an unwanted kiss that could've been more had another character not stepped in), and that's about it. Oh, and a little swearing, but this is an imagine for a character from Deadpool. If you can't handle swearing, you're on the wrong blog.

Synopsis: You’re into Ellie, but she’s with your good friend Peter. She treats you like you don’t even exist, and in the few instances she does acknowledge you, it’s usually just to make some sarcastic remark. You’re head-over-heels, though, and decide to deal with your unrequited love by writing her a song she’ll never hear.

“Fuck, that movie was terrible,” Michelle groans. “I’m just glad it was a matinee show and we didn’t have to pay as much to see it.”

“The special effects were good, but can’t Disney just leave stuff alone?” Peter agrees.

“Next thing you know they’ll be making a live action Toy Story, as if the original wasn’t traumatizing enough. I don’t want to imagine Watermelon as a sentient being. She’s seen some shit,” you snicker.

“Who’s Watermelon?” Ellie asks with a dark chuckle, and you clam up. How had you forgotten she was here?

“Oh, uh, nobody.”

“Don’t tell me you still sleep with a stuffed animal,” she snarks. “You really do need to grow up.”

“Don’t be mean, Ellie,” Peter protests.

“Watermelon is cute, everybody likes cute things!” Yukio adds.

“I think a live-action Toy Story could be cool,” Ned says. “It’d look really good if they did stop-motion animation.”

“Oh, you’re right!” you chirp. “It’d be quite the undertaking, but it would look badass.”

“I think you’re using that term a little loosely,” Ellie grumbles, and you have to stop yourself from frowning, instead you laugh it off. Why does she always pick on you? Sure, she’s got a witty remark for everybody, but she’s way harder on you. It hurts, she really is so gorgeous and funny and mysterious and everything you want in a woman, but she acts like she can’t stand you.

Ellie and Peter head off together, Peter still hasn’t gotten around to getting his license and Ellie seems happy to give him a ride. You really don’t stand a chance.

You and the others pile up in MJ’s SUV for some late-night band practice.

“I don’t know if I can do it,” you admit to Yukio in the furthest row back.

“You can,” she insists. “You’re a way better singer than Lola, anyways.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to give her the wrong impression, I-”

“For the millionth time, Y/N, you didn’t. If she hadn’t left the band, we would’ve kicked her out. Not just for cheating on me, but for hurting you.”

“I guess,” you sigh. “Why can’t you sing instead?”

“Because I’m flat.”

“Yukio, breast size doesn’t have anything to do with singing ability, you’ve just gotta practice,” you joke.

“Shut up!” she giggles, punching you in the arm. “Plus, when you sing, the songs are being sung as they were written. We’re getting the real feelings.”

“Speaking of… I have something new I’m thinking about sharing tonight. Do you mind if I text you the demo?”

“Ooh, a first look! Hell yes!”

You text her the audio file and she puts in a wireless earbud, nodding along. Her smile gets wider and wider as she listens, and when she’s done, her assessment shocks you.

“Oh my gosh. You’re into Ellie.”

“What?!” you squeak. “No way!”

“You are! But, uh-”

“Don’t even say it. I know I don’t have a chance in hell. She only tolerates me for the sake of you and Peter.” Despite the gloominess of your tone, Yukio gets a mischievous glint in her eye, it confuses you. But, that’s just Yukio. Her thoughts are all over the place; she and Ellie balance each other out that way. They dated a couple of years ago, but it didn’t work out. They decided they were better off as friends.

“Screw that other song, we’re using this as the lead single. Everybody’s gonna love it, do you have the sheet music?”

“Yeah, uh, it’s in my bag.”

“Awesome.” Yukio’s grinning like she’s won something. Is the song that good? “We’ll have to practice this one a lot, we definitely need to have it ready by the concert this Friday.”

Right. Liz’s 19th birthday party. Apparently Peter had convinced her to let the band play, it’d be cheaper than hiring a more established artist.

“Our first paying gig? I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you remind her. She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“We’re mostly gonna be playing covers of Liz’s favorite songs, and she only has so many. We’ve gotta beef up the setlist with originals, and this is perfect! Has that pop-y fun vibe, it’ll fit right in.”

“Yeah, but if it’s that obvious how I feel about her after one listen-”

“Only because I already had a hunch after Daft Pretty Boys,” Yukio clarifies cheerily, and you sigh.

“Fair enough.”

The gang makes it to Michelle’s house, travelling down to the side door and going into the basement from there. MJ’s parents have encouraged her creativity from day one, and were ecstatic when the band was formed. You speculate that they’re mostly happy that she’s made friends. Writing and photography can be lonely hobbies.

“Y/N has something new for us!” Yukio chirps.

“That fast?” Ned’s surprised as you hand him the sheet music. He skims it. “Holy shit, this is a wicked solo! Thanks, Y/N!”

“Well, I’m hoping highlighting everybody else’s talent will disguise my lack thereof,” you chuckle.

“Don’t be stupid, we’ve all heard you sing backup,” MJ says. “You’re Ryan Ross, she’s Brendon Urie. I’m just glad we booted her out before she decided she was gonna be the only pangolin in The Pangolins.”

Everyone laughs at that.

“Let’s try it,” Michelle continues, and everybody agrees. After a sound check and a few runs of the song, it’s still clumsy, especially on your part. You’re not really used to playing and singing at the same time, outside of backup vocals, which require far less focus.

“I suck,” you mumble, but it happens to be into the microphone.

“You don’t!” Ned insists.

“With that attitude, we’re not going anywhere,” Yukio says. You hate it when she gets to the tough love stage of her support. You wish she’d stay in the shallow reassurances stage, it’s easier to brush off. “You wouldn’t be the lead singer if we all thought you sucked. We would’ve just put an ad in the paper. You’re awesome, get over it!”

You sigh.

“Fine. Thank you.”

“Say it,” she insists.

“I’m awesome,” you huff, it’s hard not to smile when Yukio tries to look serious.

“Damn straight,” Yukio says. “Or, I guess not, considering that was about Ellie.”

“Yukio!” you squeal.

“That’s about Ellie?!” Ned exclaims.

“Obviously,” MJ scoffs, fiddling with her tuners.

“Is it that obvious?!” You can’t help but feel embarrassed. Ellie probably knows exactly how you feel, maybe that’s why she dislikes you so much. Her boyfriend’s stupid friend has a crush.

“Wait, but at the beginning…” Ned trails off, before laughing. “Oh my gosh, I get it.”

“Get what? Oh… Y/N, have I ever told you how much I love you?” MJ asks.

“I- I love you, too?” You’re puzzled by their words, but you’ve got enough on your plate.

“Let’s go ahead and practice some of Liz’s favorites while we’re here,” Yukio suggests. “It’s a pretty big set list.”

You practice until dinner, getting a pizza and deciding to make a night of it since it was a little late for Michelle to be dropping you all off at your assorted residences.

You all sleep on a pallet in the basement, and despite your worries, you manage to get some rest.

Over the next few days, The Pangolins practice at every free moment, until it’s finally time for the party.

“So, just pictures of everything?” Oh, shit. She’s not supposed to be here. How are you supposed to sing that song with her here?

“Yeah! I know with how many people are coming, I’m probably not going to get as much time as I want with everyone, so pictures will be a good way to remember the night.”

“Why not just invite less people?” Ellie wonders.

“I want all my friends to be here,” Liz explains. “How’s the sound check going, Y/N?”

“It’s going great,” you say into the microphone, demonstrating the quality and volume with a smile. “Thanks for letting us play here tonight.”

“Well, Peter said you guys are great. Are you really gonna debut your best song so far tonight?”

“Oh, um,” you stutter, stepping away from the microphone. “Maybe not.”

“What? Oh, come on, please, it’ll make the night even more special! You’re playing covers of all my old favorites, sing me my new favorite!” Liz presses, but she’s not being demanding or bratty, she seems genuinely excited.

“If the birthday girl says so, who am I to say no?” you concede. Hopefully Ellie will be too distracted taking pictures. “You have way too much faith in me.”

“If you don’t quit with the self-deprecation, I’m gonna duct tape your mouth shut,” MJ interjects.

“But, Daddy, how will I say my safe word?” you tease, giggling at your own joke with the rest of the group. Yukio’s laugh seems the loudest. Ellie glares.

“We should practice a song!” Ned suggests.

“Ooh, a private show!” Liz seems excited.

“Any requests?” you ask her. Ellie’s resting scowl intensifies. If she’s more pissed off the more you open your mouth, you’re not sure how she’s gonna survive a night of you singing without going nuclear.

“Oh, oh, Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne, please?”

“You’ve got it,” you agree.

The song goes smoothly.

“What happened to the old singer?” Ellie asks, clearly unimpressed.

“You didn’t tell her?” you ask Yukio, grateful for the excuse to turn away from the sharp-tongued girl you adore.

“Didn’t want her to get the wrong impression,” Yukio explains. “She already makes enough rude comments towards you.” Yukio leans over her drum kit to give Ellie a pointed look.

“Oh, wait, shit, I didn’t mean it like that. You, uh, sound good, Y/N.”

You can’t help but whip your head back to look at her with a flabbergasted expression.

“What?! It’s true,” Ellie defends herself.

“Uh, yeah, but you just said something nice. About me. Liz, do you mind checking her for a fever?”

Liz obliges for the sake of going along with the joke before quickly withdrawing her hand.

“Jeez! I know you were kidding, but she’s burning up,” Liz declares.

“My internal temperature is higher due to my mutation,” Ellie quickly explains, looking a bit bashful. “Besides, I say nice shit about Y/N all the time.”

“No, you don’t,” the whole band says in unison, including you.

“Well, clearly I shouldn’t if everyone’s gonna make a big fucking deal about it,” she retorts, rolling her eyes. “I’m gonna go get some pictures of the decorations before there’s a bunch of fucking people here to block them.”

She stomps off in her heavy boots, and The Pangolins get back to work, putting on the final touches and making sure all the blocking looks right.

Soon enough, guests start flooding in, and Liz zips around to greet them, eventually meeting up with Peter and keeping him with her. He and Liz eventually pull Ellie away from her picture-taking, confident she’s done enough and needs to just relax and enjoy the party.

So much for distracting herself with work, she thinks.

They sit on the couch and eat, the dining room was monopolized by The Pangolins due to its elevation and space.

Ellie’s mesmerized by the way your fingers move until she hears Peter talking to Liz. They really are a cute couple.

“You really do need to hang out with us. Yukio told me Y/N thinks Ellie and I are a thing,” he says.

“Gross, you’re like my annoying little brother,” Ellie remarks.

“And you’re like my bitchy older sister,” Peter retorts with a shit-eating grin.

“Both of you, quiet! They’re about to play the new song. You’re in for a real treat, Ellie.”

“What does it have to do with me?”

Liz gives Peter a confused and slightly irritated look.

“I haven’t said anything to her, I didn’t know how,” Peter squeaks, blushing a little at the look in his girlfriend’s eyes.

“Explain, quickly,” Ellie demands.

But, then you start to sing again.

“Y/N-” Peter starts.

“Shut up.”

“But you asked-”

“I said, shut up,” Ellie insists.

“You know me as your boyfriend's goofy friend. I seem to have this effect on women, and your friends aren't as goofy as I am. I try my best to keep you entertained, always laughing at the jokes you are saying. I nod my head when you make a point, oh oh…

“Kiss me, kiss me with your eyes closed! Whisper that your heart shows all I want is you, yeah, you… Hold me, hold me I'm your bunny! Tell me I'm not funny, tell me I’m legit! ‘Cause I feel weak, in your hands and your feet… A precious end, I’ll never feel your touch…”

Ellie continues to listen to the song, all expression drained from her face. All the yearning in the words and your voice, all you want is…

Ellie looks at Peter, who’s looking at her with a triumphant smile.

“I told you.”

Ellie feels like she’s about to faint. She notices you’re talking to Liz— when did she leave? —your hand over your mic. Despite the knowledge that Liz is taken, Ellie gets jealous. You look so happy to be talking to Liz, to just about any girl you talk to.

She wishes you’d smile at her that way.

You nod at whatever Liz said, and the band starts packing away their instruments. Liz sets up her phone on some Bluetooth speakers, and songs that sounded so much better when you were singing them start to play.

No! Ellie internally protests. Sing for me again, please, sing that stupid song about how you think I don’t like you.

Yukio’s dragging you somewhere. Gosh, Ellie wishes it was her holding your hand.

Suddenly, though, you and Yukio are approaching her. She knows what she has to do.

“So, what’d you think of our- Eek! Finally!”

Ellie parts from the kiss to tell her to fuck off and not ruin the moment before kissing you again.

“Holy fucking shit,” you breathe. “Uh, I thought you were-“

“Dating Peter?! Seriously?! Do I need to write ‘dyke’ on my fucking forehead? I practically already have with the way I dress and act and-”

“I, uh, I try not to make assumptions,” you mumble, fingers touching your lips.

“I’m, uh, sorry for not asking.”

“No, it’s- It was good. I’ve wanted you to do that for a while. It’s just that that was the first time somebody’s kissed me, since, uh…” Your eyes dart to Yukio, who’s ruffling Ned’s hair and laughing.

“Yukio?!” Orange flickers in Ellie’s eyes for a moment, but she keeps it under control.

“No, no, of course not, uh… The old singer, Lola. She and Yukio were dating, but apparently I was the one she really had her sights on, and… She was entitled. Thought that because she wanted me, I must want her. That wasn’t really the case, I was already pining over you. Didn’t stop her from forcing a few kisses on me and trying to go further. If Yukio hadn't shown up early with cupcakes, I don’t know what would’ve happened.”

“I am such an asshole,” Ellie says softly. “Can I kiss you again? The right way.”

“I’d say what you did before was pretty right, but sure,” you consent.

Her kiss before had been rough, needy, and impatient. Just the way you like it. This, though, this is gentle, soft, and exploratory. You tangle your hands in her hair and kiss her harder. She moans into the kiss before pulling away, bewildered.

“That was…” Ellie trails off, trying to find a positive adjective that won’t sound to frilly or lovesick.

“A mistake, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, fuck, no. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” she corrects you. “Just- Didn’t really know how. Even when you were kinda flirting with me at first, I just thought you were messing with me, so I- I am so stupid.”

“So am I,” you scoff. “I thought you were dating Peter.”

“I was spending a lot of time with him, but… I was just using him as an excuse to avoid you so I wouldn’t embarrass myself anymore. And I was asking him for advice. I figured if he could land somebody as far out of his league as Liz, maybe I stood the slightest bit of a chance with you. But I kept fucking it up. I’d just get so nervous, all of my compliments would turn into insults, all of my teasing turned into straight-up cruelty. I don’t know how you actually like me.”

“I’m a little bit of a masochist, I’ll admit,” you tell her. “I’m really glad you don’t hate me.”

“I’m really glad you don’t hate me,” Ellie replies, but she can’t help but think that what she‘s really saying is ‘I love you, too.’

She takes your hand, and you two rejoin your friends, swept up in a group hug. They wanted this to happen almost as much as you two did.

#negasonic teenage warhead #ellie phimister #x-men #negasonic teenage warhead imagine #ellie phimister imagine #x-men imagine #negasonic teenage warhead x reader #ellie phimister x reader #x-men x reader #wlw x reader #sapphic x reader #wlw imagine #sapphic imagine #lesbian x reader #lesbian imagine #songfic

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bearpillowmonster · 2 years ago

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13 Sentinels Review

I saw this when it was revealed for Switch and thought it looked cool but I wasn't sure what it was, it looked like a Visual Novel that you could move around in which I'm all about. It's got rave reviews and has been out on PlayStation for quite some time now so why not?

The actual combat is kind of basic, it's kind of just commands but it doesn't really matter where you are on the map, there are no "turns" per say but there are cooldown periods and expense (not MP but it works the same way) so there are breaks in between your attacks which is understandable, you'd be op otherwise.

You can also long range attack with your guns. Different characters have different attacks, you don't choose your party at first though. The prologue is split into seven parts and once you finish it, it opens up way more than I expected. You get to choose party members and how you want to go about playing, do you want more mech sections? Do you want more character sections? You take on whatever amount you want at any given time from any character. You want to upgrade those abilities and or unlock more for any given character? A demo really wouldn't do this game justice because of that.

It makes sense that there are more than 13 numbers but there are only 13 sentinels (ones that failed) but it just gets confusing who is what number (it does shows you every time they talk on this Codec comm type thing) but I guess it's not important, just overwhelming.

I heard the story described as all sorts of things mashed into one but it works and really that's the best way I can describe it. I went into this pretty much blind but I can tell you that it has to do with mechs, aliens, and time travelling, so the characters all have something to offer as a protagonist and make references to stuff like War of the Worlds and Men in Black and the fact that some of it takes place in '84-'85 could reflect a number of things. You see everything more or less revolves around these characters, the story, the gameplay and the style is displayed in 2D (except for mech secs) with a painted flair to them that makes the lighting look really pleasing.

There are multiple routes but it sort of makes itself into the game because you play different characters' stories in different scenarios so you really just fulfill all those and it gets you to the final ending. It's weird though because you don't have a specific order so you go from character to character to progress which I can't help but feel that I'm making the wrong decision sometimes. I ended up just trying to keep them all around the same percentage. You might be asking yourself "Then why can't you just do it one character at a time and then move onto the other characters?"

It does however lock some "remembrance" (which are the walking story sections) until after you beat certain missions so I'm wondering what the threshold was for how you figured out about specific events (because sometimes different characters will cover multiple sides to the same event). It just all gets very confusing so I might've preferred if it forced you to play a specific character order and then only choose routes. But I guess at least it doesn't require you to play it in different orders EVERY time; Every story is the same story, no matter what you've done thus far, routes are contained within each character so another doesn't have an impact on that.

On top of that, like the mech secs and story, there's a third option, "Analytics", when I say this game is packed, it's packed. So, the analytics provide a database of everything you've done thus far, you want to revisit cutscenes? Read summaries on the characters? It's pretty much all there but you also get newfound context along with it. When you go back to play a section, it doesn't seem like backtracking because everything you've done carries over, like keywords, which I'll get to in a moment, but once you complete a chapter, you don't even have the option to do that route again, so you don't have to worry about making a mistake and just getting the same cutscene. Instead, all the previously viewed cutscenes are in those "Analytics". There's even a chart that guides you to what you haven't gotten. So, for as complicated as it seems, it's pretty user-friendly.

Who is my favorite though? Well I started finding reasons to like all of them and felt very similar things with them. For instance, a character that I didn't think I'd like ended up being really good and a character that I thought would be my favorite, didn't. So, it does a pretty decent job with its characters but some routes still seemed a bit more interesting than others. I also took notes when I was first playing it to try and follow along so I included the nicknames I gave them.

CHARACTERS:

Fuyusaka-Flower hair. I like her but I'm conflicted. She probably netted me the most damage in mech secs but her gameplay in her story secs bother me because she's the one where you do the same task over and over again to get "a keyword" which is used to unlock the next route but it just seems like jumping through hoops, like it'll ask you "Do you want Hot Dogs or Nikuman?" (meat filled buns) but it's just a stupid cover to get that keyword and sometimes you find yourself doing it over and over again.

Kurabe-Main. I don't really have much to say about him, not because he's a bad character but because I feel like he's the "middle" character, a standard, plain, run of the mill main character.

Kisaragi-Cassandra Lee Morris. She looks unlikeable, but she's actually a really decent character and friend. She's also probably the funniest, but normally with her is Miwako, who is kind of annoying.

Amiguchi-Talks to the TV. I like his bad boy style because in a way it says a lot about what he's into. He's like Kurabe but cooler.

Natsuno-ET. I found her storyline to be a bit cliche but I found her impact on other characters to be enjoyable. She also has probably one of the most memorable moments of the whole game for me.

Miura-Old, has a sister, dude with the hat/Hemborgerlar. Is his name just a play on Kentaro Miura? The creator of Berserk?

Sekigahara-Doesn't remember squat. He's kind of rounded out because he seems to be one of the ones that always has a hand in the pot.

Yakushiji-Marinette. I think I like her character but not so much her story, I'm just not one for typical cat stories. I wish they would've focused on her and Juro's past a little more so that both her goal and the ending would be more rewarding but I still like her a lot.

Ogata-Shield hero. He's kind of just roped into this, showing the variety with these characters. He has a similar formula to Fuyusaka but I liked his a lot more, it had a stronger story and he was aware of what he was doing, there was a reason for why it was the way it was and it wasn't annoying to figure out.

Gouto- Boss. So little is known about him until the end, he actually has a prologue mission and then you need to get everybody to 80% in order to get any more. Once you do, he's kind of how you imagined, just a know it all.

Shinonome- Bandaid. I'm a fan of the "I don't care if I have no clue what's going on, nobody knows what they're talking about." type thing that she has going on.

Hijiyama-Long hair/old style/obsessed with sandwiches. He just can't win and is part of what makes his character so funny. I think they really drove on the friendship factor with both him and Kisaragi (not together) so they both seem very fleshed out.

Takamiya- Black skirt chick. I like the idea that she's just trying to make sense of it all, going around and interrogating people and she also has a thing with Amiguchi…well kind of, there's a lot of things you could argue in terms of shipping (until the end). In fact, her route was the first I finished.

How will you know if you'll like this? If you're tolerant to complicated anime storylines and time travel then I think you'll like it.

It's interactive, there are some moments where I was shocked like standing in front of the tv makes this guy say "I can't see!" or picking up a can of cat food and putting it too far makes him say "Did you have to put it so far?" And yes, the cat talks.

I will say this though, if it was just the mech sections, it would get annoying. If it was just the Walk through sections, it'd be kind of bare so doing one after the other is pleasant but towards the end it kind of requires you to do one at a time in order to unlock the next stage which makes it seem like it runs a little too long. Because of all these factors, it was a pretty stellar product towards the beginning but eventually middled itself out for me so I'm going to give it a 7/10 or a 3/5. I spent about 27 hours on it so there's an avg runtime.

I wouldn't call it overrated because I don't hear much about it but whenever I do, I hear the moon about it and it's just "good".

#13 sentinels #game #review #3/5 #aegis rim #13 sentinels: aegis rim

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naralanis · 3 years ago

Note

My first pen was a Pilot Metro Retro. And was promptly broke by an E-2 I let borrow it to sign paperwork (i kept the cap so he would have to give it back, but alas). And then a couple years later I jumped to a TWSBI Vac700 Iris. Anyway, i have a few different pens, but I havent found even a basic instruction on how to tune tines or maintain them besides washing them out with distilled water. And suggestions?

Hi there! Sorry about your Metro, and hope you're happy with the TWSBI! I once let someone borrow my Décimo and they... mangled it. Heartbreaking! I was eventually able to fix it, but it took some doing, and it was also a last ditch effort -- I was already fully prepared to dish out the money for a brand new nib unit, so I figured there was no harm in trying.

I'll get to the easy stuff first: if your fountain pen is writing OK, it doesn't really require more maintenance than a good flush every now and then. You don't even have to use distilled water (unless the water in your area is like, exceedingly mineral-heavy) -- plain tap water and regular dish soap will do just fine.

As for nib tuning/readjustments, they are not part of a pen's general maintenance. Readjustments are done if there's a problem with how your pen is writing, and personally I view nib tuning as something done to improve the experience to the user -- mostly to smooth a scratchy nib.

Here's the short answer as to why info on making these adjustments is a little less widespread (though still relatively easy to find):

1) While often simple, these alterations can be a bit fiddly, and it's very easy to irreparably damage your pen.

2) These alterations, but especially tuning/otherwise modifying your nib/feed, will almost certainly automatically void your pen's warranty.

Keep that in mind if you decide to undertake any tuning -- it is always at your own (and your pen's) risk.

That's the short of it! For the (much, much) longer version, as always, see below the cut!

sorry this one took so long, I got really, really into it and it is stupidly long adalskjadhls

So, first things first. Your pen writes completely fine, you wash it every now and then or whenever you're changing inks, and have an overall pleasurable experience writing with it.

Congrats! Nothing else needs to be done. Enjoy your pen.

Now, let's say your pen isn't writing completely fine. Maybe it's skipping, maybe it feels scratchy, maybe it's laying down too much ink or not enough.

Before you go straight to tuning your nib, the first thing you do is: you clean it.

"But Nara, I already cleaned it." Clean it again. You'd be amazed how often a more thorough flush fixes simple flow problems -- do it with dish soap if you used only water the second time.

The next step? Try a different ink, if you have some. Then, try some different paper. It's good to have a paper/ink combo that you're familiar with to use as a standard. I like to use a Rhodia No. 19 Dot Pad and Waterman Serenity Blue to test all of my pens -- nearly every pen I buy writes an 'inauguration' page with that exact combination.

If your pen is a cartridge/converter, always make sure the cartridge or converter is the right fit and that it's seated properly. It should fit securely without a ton of pressure -- if you can basically bop it off without trying, it's probably the wrong fit. If the converter provided to you by the retailer doesn't fit, contact them -- maybe you got a defective pen.

Alright, so you've done all of the above, but your pen is still writing funky or not at all. Now it's time to take a closer look at the nib.

Enjoy this expertly made reference image I made on my phone before I realized I could just link you to a better one.

Before you start researching how to tune/grind your nib, let's check the nib and feed alignment -- the feed is what allows the ink to travel from reservoir to paper, and if cleaning your pen hasn't solved the problem, there's a good chance it is probably not seated correctly.

Here's what you should check for:

1) Make sure your feed is flush to the underside of your nib

If there's a major gap between the underside of your nib and the top of the feed (where the ink channel is), the ink simply can't get to where it needs to be (i.e. the tip of the nib). I

If there is a major gap, you can check if your nib and feed are seated correctly in the nib section. This depends a little bit on the pen and the model, but most of the time, you can try grasping nib and feed together and gently pushing down. Remember to never grab your nib by the shoulders/tines, as that will most likely ruin it.

2) Make sure your feed is properly centered with the nib.

This is easier to check if your pen has a breather hole, which most of them do. Basically, check to see if the ink channel at the top of your feed (you can see it through the breather hole) lines up with the ink slit. Here's a good example:

And here are... not so good ones. Coincidentally, both on Conklin pens.

This is usually a simple fit -- sometimes you can gently wriggle it back in place. Other times, you need to remove the nib and feed from the collar (basically the plastic thing that holds the nib unit together) or they are friction fit to the section altogether (like in the Lamy AL-Star). Do a bit of research on your pen model before you try disassembling it.

Feed is centered? All good to go? OK, now we move on to checking the metalworks, so to speak. I recommend using a magnifying glass or loupe for this part. Here's the one I use.

4) Check your tines for a) factory oopsies and b) misalignment.

Here's an example of tines that were just... cut very wrong (sorry for poo-poo pic quality, but you should be able to see the tine on the right just... ain't right)

In the case above, contact your retailer. I noticed this one before even inking my pen, but they should cover a replacement regardless.

DISCLAIMER: all adjustments from here on out may void your pen's warranty.

(maybe not a simple realignment, but don't risk it, or ask your retailer before you try anything).

Here's an example of slightly misaligned tines (ON THE SAME PEN AFTER EXCHANGE BTW).

I stupidly didn't get pictures of my Décimo or the Duragraph above looking straight at nib pointing up -- you could actually see one of the tines sloping slightly downward. That causes unbearable (to me) scratchiness and can tear off paper fibers. No fun.

There are better examples from JetPens' Fountain Pen Troubleshooting Guide (which you should absolutely check out!)

You can fix misaligned tines yourself. It requires patience, a little pressure, and a lot of finesse not to overdo it. You can manually bend the tines back into place, but before you try it yourself, I recommend going to YouTube to see how other pen people do it. My method is similar to this one, but there are several others. You can use your fingernail to push it down, just be very careful with how much force you use.

The one method I personally don't recommend is, ironically, the one JetPens recommend on their guide. It might work just fine, but I just think it is way too easy to overdo it and get splayed tines or create a major gap between nib and feed.

OK, seems like the tines on your pen are fine? Time to...

5) Check the distance between your tines.

Your tines should, ideally, be juuust a hair apart-- only enough for the ink and capillary action do their thing. They shouldn't be touching, since that would hinder ink flow, but there should not be a gulf of distance between them either. Let's revisit another Conklin

Yay. Fun.

This is also fairly simple to fix, but again: you have to be delicate about it. I manually manipulate my tines into position and kind of go by feel by now, always testing and checking with my loupe. Here's how PenBoyRoy does it:

youtube

Again, there are many different methods, and you will often hear different things from different pen people. It's down to preference and what works for you!

OK, now we've gone through an odyssey of troubleshooting (I AM SO SORRY), let's talk about nib tuning.

Yet another disclaimer: doing anything I describe below will 100% void your pen's warranty.

Tuning your nib isn't necessarily fixing it. It certainly can, if you've done pretty much all of the above and everything looks fine but the pen isn't writing the way you want it to. I use it to smooth down pens that are technically writing OK, but the experience of writing with them isn't entirely pleasant for me.

Essentially, you're using a rougher surface to basically... 'sand down' your nib. There's a wide variety of techniques (from using a rough paper bag all the way to actual fine-grit sanding blocks), but the most important detail you need to remember is you're removing tipping material (however little).

While tuning your nibs isn't necessarily hard, it's very, very easy to overdo it, and that will cause pretty much irreparable damage. If tuning nibs is something you're interested in, practice on inexpensive pens first -- I practiced on ye olde Pilot Varsity.

The Varsity is great to practice tuning because 1) it's super cheap, so even if you fuck it up completely, it's not the end of the world. 2) It has a medium tip.

The bigger the tip = the more tipping material = more room for error.

I mainly use two things to tune my pens: micromesh and mylar paper, which are both super fine abrasives. Goulet (and other pen retailers) sell entire nib-tuning kits with everything you might need to get started, but here's my own (plus a few extras that may look scary, but trust me, you don't need all of this):

In my pen kit above, you can see my newer sheets of micromesh and mylar and the scribbles I use to tune my nibs. I hold the pen the way I normally would when writing with it, and scribble over the abrasive, but I don't do it randomly. Figure 8s are usually the go-to for simple tuning; you can also go a particular direction if you know exactly which area of your nib needs to be smoothed.

Again, even micromesh and mylar paper (particularly the latter) are incredibly fine abrasives, it is still very easy to overdo it. I have fucked up nibs before, mostly on my practice pens, but also on a not-super-cheap pen, and I had to buy a whole new nib unit.

So, like I said, possible? Very! Simple? Sure! Finicky? Hell yeah.

Side note: tuning a nib is mostly just making it write more smoothly. If you'd like to change the shape of the tipping material entirely (and thus create line variation), that is totally something that can be done!

It is called nib grinding, and it is better left to the professionals, but it is super cool!

pOK, I didn't quite mean to go into a full nib troubleshooting post, but I should have known my brain could not be stopped. Hopefully, this (extremely) long-winded, tangent-riddled descent into the rabbit hole was at least a little bit useful!

Thanks for dropping by!

#soulofkeys #ask naralanis and maybe she will deign to respond #fountain pen #pen asks #nara rambles #and holy shit how she rambles #I AM SORRY I COULD NOT HELP MYSELF #anyway #have fun I guess?#also #please do more research than reading what 1 (one) hyperfixated idiot put together on a Tumblr post #I avidly encourage it #pen talk

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fandom-pardes · 4 years ago

Text

According to halacha, which actions are Azula liable for?

Reposted from my Tumblr.

One of my favorite ways to study Jewish texts is to take a fictional character or situation and examine it through the lens of Jewish text and tradition.

I’ve done this before with ABC’s Once Upon A Time. Now I’m going to take up this exercise again with Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Before I begin, a few things to keep in mind.

I’m not a Talmud scholar.

There is no definitive Jewish Opinion™ about any issue pertaining to halacha. Unanimous opinions on halacha are so rare that when we find one, we assume something went wrong in the process..

Azula is a morally polarizing character in AtLA fandom. Regardless of who you ask, you’re bound to get some strong opinions about exactly what she’s done, the extent to which she’s responsible for it, and what this says about her morality or lack thereof. I’m not going to rehash those arguments. I think I’ve made it clear that I care less about whether people approve of her behavior than I do about how their statements about her reinforce harmful messages about women, people of color, LGBT people and mentally ill people.

Nevertheless, she’s incredibly interesting, and studying Jewish text is fun, so here we are.

Why examine Azula’s actions through the lens of halacha?

Halacha gets a lot of flack because it comes off as excessively legalistic. But, in my opinion, that’s based on a misunderstanding of what halacha is. Usually translated as “Jewish law,” the word halacha actually comes from the root word that means “to go/walk.”

Halacha is not a collection of rules for the sake of having rules. It’s meant to take us somewhere. You can write a library of books about exactly what that is and what it means. But for the sake of simplicity, halacha is how we show that we recognize the holiness of everything in creation. So we aim to do right by one another, by the land we live in and by the creatures we share this world with.

Before we can launch into examining the halachic ramifications of the things Azula does, we need to establish some boundaries.

Only the show counts. It’s the common frame of reference universally accepted by the vast majority of fandom. Fandom’s stances on the comics, novelizations and other tie-in materials are too variable to base an analysis on.

Word of God is immaterial. While some would use the phrase Death of the Author, Jewish tradition has a more entertaining take on it. In the Talmud, there’s a dispute between Rabbi Eliezer and some of his peers. In that story, Rabbi Eliezer says that if he’s right, this or that miraculous thing would happen, and those miraculous things do happen. But the other rabbis still reject it because we don’t determine halacha by miraculous signs. Eventually, God parts the heavens and says, “Rabbi Eliezer is right.” But another rabbi responds, “The Torah is not in heaven,” meaning that the Torah was meant for human beings on earth to interpret for themselves. And God’s response? To smile and say, “My children have defeated Me.”

Now, let’s begin.

Is Azula bound by halacha?

She’s not Jewish, so no. However, all human beings are bound by the Noahide laws. For the sake of argument, let’s say that the Noahide covenant applies to all humans on all worlds. According to the Talmud (Sanhedrin 56a.24):

Since the halakhot of the descendants of Noah have been mentioned, a full discussion of the Noahide mitzvot is presented. The Sages taught in a baraita: The descendants of Noah, i.e., all of humanity, were commanded to observe seven mitzvot: The mitzva of establishing courts of judgment; and the prohibition against blessing, i.e., cursing, the name of God; and the prohibition of idol worship; and the prohibition against forbidden sexual relations; and the prohibition of bloodshed; and the prohibition of robbery; and the prohibition against eating a limb from a living animal.

What is Azula’s legal status?

In any case, we know the rules, and now we have to decide whether Azula broke them or not, right?

Not so fast.

First, we have to determine if Azula is of the appropriate legal status to be held accountable for upholding the Noahide laws. In other words: when she committed certain acts, was Azula an adult capable of making rational decisions?

Clear your mind of the idea that being an adult is the same as being a grownup. Instead, think of it as a term that defines when people can make legally binding decisions.

As far as I can tell, the Talmud doesn’t say when a gentile becomes an adult. However, we can use halacha as a guide.

Now for a warning.

If frank talk about the physical development of adolescents makes you uncomfortable, you might want to skip this next part. There’s nothing graphic or titillating about what I’m going to discuss, but if breasts and pubic hair squick you out, skip this part until I say it’s safe in bold like this.

According to halacha, a girl reaches adulthood when she’s twelve years and one day old and has two pubic hairs. Yeah, you read that right. Twelve and two pubes are the requirement. Before this point, nothing she does is legally binding, even if she’s really smart and claims to be fully aware of what she’s doing. After this point, her actions are legally binding, even if she says she had no idea what she was doing.

On the show, we see Azula in a range of ages. In “Zuko Alone,” we see her at roughly eight years old. In “The Storm,” she’s about eleven. In all the other episodes she’s in, she’s fourteen. So, from a legal standpoint, flashback!Azula is too young for her actions to be legally binding. At that point in time, the responsibility would fall to her parents.

Um, I’m not willing to speculate about the genitals of an underage cartoon character, so for the sake of argument, I’m assuming that 14-year-old Azula meets the two pubes requirement. Thus, 14-year-old Azula is responsible for her actions.

If you skipped that last part, it’s safe to continue now.

OK, we’ve established that flashback!Azula is too young for her actions to be legally binding, but in the main story, Azula is legally an adult and responsible for her actions.

We good? Alright.

Which Noahide laws does Azula actually break?

This is both easier and harder than it seems.

The laws about idol worship, cursing God, and forbidden sexual acts don’t apply to her because neither religion nor sex are portrayed as such on the show. Also, the law about establishing courts of justice is a communal obligation, not one that falls on a single individual, so that’s another one we don’t have to concern ourselves with.

That leaves the prohibitions against bloodshed, robbery and eating a limb cut from a living animal.

First up: bloodshed.

The connotation of the prohibition against bloodshed is not for general acts of violence, but actual murder.

Here’s where I think I’m going to throw a lot of people for a loop. Azula doesn’t kill anyone on the show. She tries. She comes close. She wouldn’t lose sleep over it if she did. But nobody’s dead because of her. She doesn’t even take lives as collateral damage.

One could argue that zapping Aang with lightning counts as killing, but when the Sages talk about death and dying, I assume they mean the kind where the dead stay dead, not people who are revived by magic spirit water. Furthermore, if someone’s about to kill you (and I think entering the Avatar State qualifies here), you are halachically obligated to save your own life, even if it means killing that person.

Second: robbery.

We’ll come back to that.

Third: eating a limb from a living animal.

This prohibition is often expanded to incorporate all forms of animal cruelty.

The show does portray animal cruelty. We see a prime example with the circus in “Appa’s Lost Days.”

But what about Azula? We don’t see her interact with many animals on the show, but there are two notable examples: Appa the sky bison in “Appa’s Lost Days” and Bosco the bear in “The Crossroads of Destiny.”

How does her behavior measure up? Despite her earlier behavior of terrorizing turtleducks, Azula does not harm either Appa or Bosco.

On the show, Mai and Ty Lee are seen spending time with Bosco in the throne room while the Earth King is imprisoned. So, at the very least, they treat the bear well.

So, Azula is not liable for animal cruelty.

*hands Azula her Not As Big A Jerk As She Could Have Been award*

Now, let’s revisit that prohibition against robbery.

Given the prescribed punishment (decapitation), the connotation seems to be taking the rightful property of another through violent means. That being said, the prohibition against robbery is often extended to include all sorts of theft.

This one might have some legs. On the show, does Azula take the rightful property of another, and does she use violent means to do so?

Absolutely.

A major example is stealing the clothes of the Kyoshi Warriors after defeating them in combat.

But!

The show takes place during a time of war, and the Kyoshi Warriors, as allies of the Avatar, are enemies of the Fire Nation. So does beating them up and taking their uniforms fall under the prohibition against robbery, or are the Kyoshi Warrior uniforms considered the spoils of war and thus free for the taking?

Halachically speaking, it might actually be the latter. When fighting the Kyoshi Warriors, Azula acts as a military commander during a time of war and achieves a decisive victory against an elite combat unit. Thus, she is entitled to take their stuff.

So, back to the original question: which actions does Azula commit during the show that she’s halachically liable for?

The answer, shockingly, may be: none.

On the show, we’re encouraged to think of Azula as a Very Bad Girl who does Very Bad Things. She’s calculating, ruthless and deceptive. She’s also full of herself. She’s not someone who inspires warm, fuzzy feelings in most people. But when you put her actions under the microscope, she exercises remarkable restraint compared to what she’s capable of.

Don’t worry. No one’s going to nominate her for a Nobel Peace Prize just yet. This is Azula we’re talking about. She’s not acting out of an overwhelming love for humanity. But it is interesting that despite her threats to kill, maim and destroy, she doesn’t participate in wanton destruction or wasteful loss of life.

#azula #atla meta #jewish meta

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brawltogethernow · 4 years ago

Note

So on the whole, how useful would you say Death Note is for teaching someone how to write a convoluted plot between enemy chessmasters that's at least... 50% watertight?

General disclaimer that I haven’t touched the source material directly in many years, and all my dn posts are me feeling my feelings. But yeah, I can shake my 8-ball about this.

There are two components to dn’s approach to “a convoluted plot between enemy chessmasters”, and they’re only roughly stapled together. There’s the rivalry/characterization part, which is both compelling and silly, and is mostly about aesthetic. That never really concludes in a satisfying way. It’s not TRYING to, because the characters are pretty much there to hold up the thought experiment premise, which demands a lot of grit and unpoetic death and not solid foundations of character/relationship work. Like there’s stuff there but you’re really deep-mining for it and doing a lot of the work yourself, and that’s by design. All of the character arcs, which are pretty thin on the ground, trend in a negative/dismantling direction (because it’s a tragedy), and few of the relationships play out all the potential they have (because it’s not a tragedy about relationships).

The character aspect of the chessmaster stuff is heavily reliant on the conceit that once people are smart enough they will start reaching the same conclusions in the same way. Like there’s a single most ideal train of thought for every situation that even people who should have very different thought processes will reach with the assistance of enough little gray cells. This isn’t uncommon in smartboi stories, but dn went absolutely ham on it, if you want to make a study of that trope.

The biggest takeaway there is probably noting how the creative team seems to have been unaware that a lot of their audience was actually buying into that between the lead and their rival as a “meant to be enemies” kind of thing and didn’t realize that faction would be less interested once it became obvious that no, all geniuses in this world are taking turns using one brain. I’ll freely admit I deliberately misread this element to maximize my own investment.

Then there are the tricks and puzzles. The odd logical hole is inevitable, but overall they’re solid. They’re also just procedural plots delivered in a less formulaic story than that usually makes one think of. There’s nothing distinguishing them from the weekly puzzle of a House episode or a Detective Conan arc except for raw creativity and panache. There is rarely any characterization going on whatsoever. The twists require players, but you never get the sense that only whoever is being pulled to act could fill their part. They’re always stand-ins for perfectly generic individuals, putting their distinctive quirks and intense personal philosophies aside. This is that idea that there’s one way of thinking that everyone is accessing at staggered intelligence levels in play again. People are simplified until they can be pieces in contraptions no more complex than Light’s exploding desk drawer trap.

This is why the trick plots of dn don’t get pored over a lot by fans. They’re looped too loosely to the rest of the story to have an emotional impact that will make them memorable long-term. They’re deceptively simple, too. Kind of the opposite of a story twist that makes you rethink everything that came before it in a new light. You can’t dismantle dn and reassemble it like pentominoes very easily. A lot of it is grand set pieces, and if you tease out any of the puzzle plots they sort of lose structural integrity and flake away. This is why most canon divergence fic for dn is “diverging” by asking the question “what if Light were less of a shit”.

Ultimately, Death Note only gives the impression of being a complex engine made of moving parts. Its strong suit is its showmanship. It’s very good at carrying you along from twist to twist in a state of mild beffudlement that doesn’t quite escalate to belligerent and securing that “Oh wow! That was clever!” reaction. The mastermind-offs of are deceptively static, pretty much coming down to one party either failing or succeeding to thwart a plot laid out by another in advance without a lot of combating each others’ machinations in real time. Once resolved, twists vanish from the consciousness like disappearing gold. There’s no fiber to them, just flash.

This isn’t critique! Most elements of this story do what they’re deployed to do. (If the tricks needed workshopping, people would analyze them more, ironically.)

I’m myself shit at (de)constructing brain tingler twists and can’t really identify if dn’s are useful for instruction purposes. Not for people who don’t already have a natural talent for them, I guess! It might be interesting to identify why they’re not immediately identifiable as bloodless trick plots, except I suspect it might just be that the rest of dn is so insane and dissimilar from stories that usually contain those? Like I already compared it to two Holmes descendants, and it definitely has BBC Sherlock “let the asshole speak, genii are a protected species” vibes, and the criminal protagonist facing off with a detective premise is Arsene Lupin-y, yet I still feel weird identifying Death Note itself as in this broader genre because *gestures to all of it*.

It’s the least formula-reliant example of the breed I can think of right now, which is neat. (Annnnd also definitely feeds in to people being dissatisfied with it because they miscalled what it was trying to be. Dn is just generally pretty unique, and I imagine the team was making up a lot of its playbook from scratch as it went along, which leaves the audience in kind making up the experience of consuming it.)

All of the above is incidentally why dn is infamous for being very compelling in the moment but then having people revisit thinking about it and decide the he-knows-that-I-know-that-he-knows conceit is actually ridiculous and needs to be taken with a grain of salt.

So uh. This all SOUNDS like bad form, but that’s arguably me being a basic bitch who “likes when plot and character and aesthetic inform each other”, and that’s just fundamentally not what Death Note is. Also it’s kind of a lofty starting goal and writing is hard. Like! This approach worked! We are discussing a very successful property with many fans. (And a weirdly finite cultural impact for its popularity but this isn’t necessarily why.) I guess this is an acceptable playbook, and the takeaway is that you CAN successfully Frankenstein together different unconnected storytelling methods, and it will look dazzling and impressive and barely leave any of your readership feeling confused and hollow inside and likely to return and make fun of themselves for accidentally liking your work wrong.

Oh, also, dn as do’s and don’t’s of building a mastermind character. Do give headlining characters eye-catching, memetic traits. Don’t fail to trace those traits down so they actually represent something at your character’s core because you crossed over the line from “spinning characters out as foils and parallels who compare and contrast to each other in interesting ways” into “all of your smart characters are basically the same challenge-seeking misanthrope stamped with different surface features” -- except WHO ELSE IS GOING TO HAVE THAT PROBLEM? THAT’S NOT NORMAL.

So yeah you COULD study Death Note, or you could binge some crime dramas and then some X-Men issues that have battles in the center of the mind over the same weekend and get basically the same net effect.

#death note #mirrorfalls #asks answered

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thelastyetfabolousmidwestmadman · 3 years ago

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That One Fanfic Idea I Had That Was Too Fucked Up For Me

So picture this.

Your watching Highschool DXD with your mother. It’s weird I know but my mom has done much more disgusting stuff so it seems rather normal in comparison...

No? You Don’t want to picture it?

Kay, now stop picturing it, cause you’re either squicked out or have issues so imagine just watching alone, with a friend, or if good fortune strikes you the best girlfriend/Boyfriend ever.

But lets talk about YOU.

You are a lonely depressed coed, who straight out of high school suffered one of the most painful experiences of your life. The one you love the most just broke up with you for reasons you don’t understand or can comprehend at the time.

For brevity’s sake I won’t tell the cause of what happened between me and my ex. I think some things should remain private and everyday I’m regretful for how I acted and wish that things could have gone differently. That is the past now and it should only be revisited to show how much you changed for the better.

You present yourself a mask of happiness when in reality you are in so much pain you are genuinely considering suicide but in a attempt to keep your mind off the pain, you listen to music that you never liked before because what you loved reminds you of them, and most importantly you watch shows that you previously had no interest in due to a desperate attempt to feel something, anything.

Its been nearly four years since that happened and some things are better but the scars still bleed deeply in the sides of my cerebrum. Today while I still have many issues and I wont pretend to have them together, but with the passing of time wounds become less salted and eventually will heal. Parts of myself I lost I’ve regained and that has made me proud but in other ways my trauma made myself break in two more then shatter. I may never be the same again but that doesn’t mean I could be something new or better.

Some of you might me wondering, “Why Madman, why are you talking about this now.” Well if there is one positive thing I can say about what happened is that it made ma a better writer. I now take my time, and don’t stress out about due dates. Since I experience one of the worst experiences of my life, I could greater write and understand the pain, sadness, and fears the characters I adapted experienced. I guess talent increases through suffering and struggle. I guess the best I can say was before I wrote like a child who hears a song and only focuses on the feelings in their simplistic form while now the adult who has life experience and sense the greater meaning.

But even now I still have so much to learn, and improve from! Sometimes I look at both my ongoing and old work with a equal measure of fondness and disappointment knowing what I know now. Even after the tragedy, I wrote in stasis for a while and works like Goodbye Innocence could have started less like a soup opera and be better for it. But suddenly I had a ephinany. I couldn’t allow myself to keep my writing at this level with the lackadaisical attitude I had before. I had to try harder! And that meant updating less and taking my time to get back in touch in why I loved writing so.

Then it hit me. The childish magic and wonder I got from writing hasn’t left me at all, even at my lowest most pathetic moments. There are people better then me and instead of repeatedly getting down on myself, I accepted my limitations and regained my enthusiasm that I thought lost.

But briefly over a period of twenty months my mind sorta went to a dark, bitter place and I sorta gave in into nihilism and despair. I kept thinking about Deconstructionism in general and what it could be applied. As you could guess, my mind landed on one show in particular.

So I kept stretching out my mind, in a rather feverish pace, thinking about how could I turn Highschool DXD dark? I mean the show is literally nothing but fanservice and tame ultraviolence how can anyone possibly make that edgy? Even without Funimation’s help the show is so ludicrous how could anyone take a dark fic seriously?

Well... Unfortunately for my sins, I came up with one.

I thought about Issei when I got to the Diadora Asteroth part. I thought about how hypocritical he could be at times considering how he tried to influence Gasper into stopping time in order to fondle unknowing women, which is pretty much beyond comedic anime perversion and more Diadora levels of sexual predation.

Granted, I’ve long since learned that if you spend all the time thinking about the unfortunate implications of jokes, plotlines, and character arcs, particularly in politically astute context like myself, you’re quickly drive yourself crazy and be unable to enjoy any work of fiction ever. There are some that are admittedly more egregious than others but author’s intent, values dissonance/resonance, and alternative implications are important to examine as well. Life is too short to turn into a zealot and their are other social-economic problems that require requisitely radical solutions like Medicare For All, Reparations, BDS, etc that are more important to focus on then minor shit like this but anyway why the fuck am I rambling, you didn’t read this far to hear me pontificate on politics, back to the point.

TRIGGER WARNING from this point onwards

So the idea goes like this. The girls of Rias’s harem fall in love with Issei just like in canon. But what if said love is only due to Ddraig’s influence? What it Issei now had a excuse and means to justify his perversions and channel them into outright sexual and emotional abuse?

Yeah I don’t particularly feel like going further into what I entailed other than saying that it got really graphic and disturbing. So why you may ask, why would someone who was infamous for his rape fics be unable to write this of all things?

I couldn’t stomach it.

The amount of talent required at the time was beyond me and I think it’s beyond me even now but lets pause for a second and really think about this. This is something that I have no experience but sadly too many people do. IF I got even the most single fact wrong, I simply wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.

Even worse, the part that I would be at most knowledgeable about, the emotional aspect of abuse, would bring up memories that I would rather not think about.

You don’t like fics like this out of passion or joy, you write them out of sheer artistic conveyance to a particular issue. You write them cause you are in pain. You write them to punish yourself. You write them to reveal a dark part of yourself you suppress with thousands of years of civilization and morality. It would be an all around miserable experience for everything.

And why would I do that to myself and others? That is not the sign of a healthy mindset and it is counterproductive to the reason I write dark fics in general.

So I am happy to toss this idea in the bin. I can’t stop anyone from doing this idea, all power to you, but I don’t want to read it. Perhaps my curiosity would get to the better of me.

Either way, I say goodbye to this fic, and hopefully this painful period of my life.

Peace.

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nikibogwater · 4 years ago

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Bogwater’s Guide to Writing Platonic Relationships

Have a seat, dears, pour yourself a mug of cocoa, and let’s talk about writing for a bit. Specifically, writing emotionally intense, compelling relationships that are completely devoid of any romantic tension.

“Niki, those don’t exist! The only relationships that are truly intense and compelling are the romantic ones! Everybody knows that!”

*gently bonks you on the head with my magic scepter* NO. This is a common misconception that is perpetuated by media and especially fandom culture. And it stems from this bizarre idea that emotional intimacy must always equate with romantic intimacy. I have no idea where this idea got its start, but if you ask literally anybody who has experienced real, genuine friendship in their life, they will tell you it’s absolute nonsense. Just because you’re not doing the kissy-kiss with someone, that doesn’t mean you’re not emotionally intimate with them.

“But I don’t want any emotional intimacy without the kissy-kiss! It’s boring!”

Yeah, so, there’s a reason platonic relationships in modern media often feel less interesting than romantic ones, and it’s precisely because of what I said above. Media producers and many fic authors are skittish about showing platonic love with the same level of depth and emotional intensity as romantic, so it often ends up being somewhat watered down and simplified, to the point that it becomes a less interesting relationship. The only thing this does is perpetuate the idea that any and all emotional intimacy immediately implies romantic attraction (it does not) while also devaluing the very real importance of genuine friendship/familial bonds.

“Okay, but what if I just like romance better?”

That’s your personal preference, and that’s okay! Everybody has their favorite genres and tropes that resonate with them more than others. My personal favorite is Family, Found or otherwise (with a healthy dose of Hurt/Comfort on the side), but I can totally understand if romance speaks to you more. HOWEVER. This does not excuse writers and other content producers from low-key asserting that romantic relationships are objectively “better” than platonic ones. Hard fact of life: Nobody needs to experience romance, and even those who do experience it do so in different ways. But everybody does need to have emotional connections with other people through the bonds of friendship and family. Believe it or not, romantic love is not a universal experience. Platonic though? Everybody knows that one, and everybody needs it to be happy. To devalue it as a whole is to impose a toxic mindset that forces people to experience relationships in a very narrow and restrictive way.

Okay--*steps off my soap box and kicks it to the side*--now that we’ve established that friendship is important and should be given the same value that society gives to romance, let’s talk about a few ways to write intense and compelling platonic relationships!

Emotional Intimacy:

I’ve talked about this a lot already, but just in case some of you are confused, emotional intimacy is just when two people have a very deep familiarity and understanding of each other. They understand how the other’s mind works, and feel comfortable opening up to each other about their own stuff. Obviously, this is very important for any relationship, platonic or romantic, but writers will often limit such familiarity between characters to the romantic relationships. The first step to writing an interesting friendship is to not do that. Show that your platonic soulmates understand each other and are vulnerable with each other. Here are some easy ways to do that:

Character A knows all of Character B’s personal preferences--likes and dislikes, including small things like food, flowers, music, etc.

A can finish B’s sentences for them.

A is willing to talk about their feelings when B asks if they’re okay.

A and B trust each other and know the other always has their back

A and B will occasionally reference events in their shared history and even have inside jokes

A will seek B out for comfort when they are upset.

A and B almost never miscommunicate--they know what the other means when they say something, and will immediately notice if the other is acting strange.

A and B can communicate with each other silently, via subtle looks, eye movements, or gestures.

Selflessness:

To quote a grossly over-marketed Disney franchise, “Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours.” This is the simplest and also most accurate definition of love I’ve come across, and it is universal to all kinds of relationships. So in order to make your platonic relationship compelling, you need to show that the characters are willing to make sacrifices for each other--even big ones. Make sure this is a mutual exchange between both characters, because otherwise you risk making the relationship look a bit toxic. Here are a few of my favorite examples of selflessness between friends/family:

Character A willingly puts themselves in harm’s way in order to protect Character B.

A is always ready to drop what they’re doing and come to B’s assistance.

A and B regularly do small favors for each other without being asked.

A is always mindful of B’s needs and makes sure they’re taken care of.

A and B always do their best not to hurt each other, either physically or emotionally.

A is openly very worried whenever B is in danger and stops at nothing to help them.

Affection:

This is the part where most writers balk when writing platonic relationships. “They can’t touch each other!!! That’s sexy and weird!!!” No, it’s not. This idea that any and all signs of affection are exclusive to romantic relationships is toxic, and we need to wipe it from existence. Obviously there are different levels of physical intimacy, and some absolutely are exclusive to romantic relationships. Here’s a list of No-Gos if you want to keep a relationship completely platonic:

Kissing on the lips/mouth/neck.

Gazing deeply and silently into each other’s eyes for long periods of time for no other reason than to simply Gaze.

Doing the Do or otherwise touching each other in an explicitly sexual way (I feel like this one should be pretty obvious. Also wth guys, that stuff is grooooosssssssss 🤢)

Honestly those are the only ones that I can think of that are always exclusively romantic. Everything else requires pre-established context in order to be taken as such. So here’s a list of affectionate gestures that are totally safe for established platonic relationships!

Little forehead/cheek kisses.

Hugs--yes, even prolonged ones. Sometimes friends/family just want to hold each other for a while, and not in a sexy way.

Holding hands.

Leaning on each other.

Playing with each other’s hair or gently petting it in order to offer comfort.

Sleeping next to each other when circumstances require it (and neither of them makes any fuss over it)

Saying “I love you.” STOP MAKING THIS AN EXCLUSIVELY ROMANTIC THING, PLEASE, FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THAT IS PURE IN THIS WORLD!

Touching foreheads (my personal favorite of the lot!)

Maintaining prolonged eye-contact during moments of sincerity and communication, especially if Character A is trying to tell B something important.

Sweet little smiles, or other such soft looks of fondness

And many other gestures that I don’t have time to go over in this list.

Tip the First: When writing platonic affection, be sure to bear in mind your characters’ personalities and physical differences. For example, if Character A is significantly bigger and heavier than Character B, they probably wouldn’t be tackle-hugging B, because that would risk seriously injuring B. Different personalities also have different levels of comfort when it comes to physical affection. If you’re writing fanfic, it helps to revisit the source material and observe how the two characters interact with each other. And remember: just because two characters aren’t physically affectionate with each other, it does NOT mean they don’t have a deep and meaningful friendship. Also bear in mind that many people have different dynamics with different friends simply due to the way their personalities fit together. Not all of my friendships look the same, and it’s not because of insincerity on my part--I just have different interactions with different people.

Tip the Second: If you want the gestures of affection to really pack a punch, use them sparingly. Save your long, warm embraces for when the two characters finally reunite after a long separation. Have Character A take B’s hand only when they can sense that B is frightened and in need of reassurance. A “First Platonic Hug” scene can be just as sweet and feelsy as a “First Kiss” scene if you do it right! Also, don’t be afraid to talk at length about how a gesture of affection makes a character feel. Describe the warm fuzzies that bubble up in their chest when their friend/family member gives them a hug, wax poetic about how grateful they are to have said friend/family member in their life. Taking time to explore and dwell on a certain feeling should never be strictly reserved for the ones associated with romance.

And when in doubt:

Observe the professionals. Here are some fantastic platonic relationships from various pieces of media that I take tons of inspiration from:

Frodo and Sam from Lord of the Rings (especially in the books)

Jim and Toby from Dreamworks’ Tales of Arcadia series

Din and Cara from Star Wars: The Mandalorian

Lilo and Nani from Disney’s Lilo and Stitch

So in conclusion:

Listen, I get it. Romance is exciting and cute and sexy and very important in its own right, and society likes to beat us over the head with it these days. But I cannot impress on you enough just how vital platonic relationships are to living a good and fulfilling life. I am who I am today because of the family and friends who have helped me grow. Please don’t disregard it, whether in your writing or in your own life. Cherish friendship. Acknowledge the depth of your platonic feelings for someone. And writers, please don’t be afraid to express those feelings in your work. If we let friendship and family die, I can assure you, any potential for healthy romantic relationships will quickly follow suit.

#niki rambles #writing #fanfiction #long post

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cofferi · 3 years ago

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Just some FFXIV thoughts....

To start, here's some boring info about me: I used to play Maple Story, Flyff, and Ragnarok Online, as well as a myriad of other obscure mmos and private servers back in the 2000s. Point is none of these were considered hardcore in the slightest.

So, starting ffxiv after so long kind of hit me like a train. I get to level 15 where I must queue up for my first low level dungeon Sastasha in order to move forward with the story. I don't have friends so I will be grouped up with 3 random strangers. The expected wait time to get in is like 7 mins. I wait about 5 mins and then withdraw from queue.

I have to do stuff with others??? Ummmmmmmmm. I honestly wandered around the map for like half an hour just questioning myself and if I should keep going.

Tank? Healer? DPS?

Coming from games of long ago where you just kinda wanted to have a healer on your team but you had no real obligation to, ffxiv actually recognizes the job roles and specifically requires a party of 1 tank, 1 healer, and 2 dps. You cannot deviate from this! (Well, you can but that's not typical, and later dungeons expand the number of players in a party but the general idea of requiring at least one of each role is still the same). It's interesting to me how this structure has become so sacred. Dungeons cannot be completed without you doing your specific job. It's to promote efficiency and comfort so everyone generally knows what to do as well as what others will do right off the bat.

Visibility AKA "Why are people looking at me"

Oh no. So, if everyone has a job to do that means there is the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known. If you don't do your job, your party members WILL notice lol! And it will be obvious because there will be just 4 of you in the party. It's not hard to see what 3 others are doing. Further, if you're tank/healer, you will be the only one of your job role in your party. If you don’t follow your role, no one else can cover for you. You are very visible. And that's very anxiety-inducing!! You don't want to let the party down. Here are some notable job anxiety narratives:

- Tankxiety. You have to essentially lead your party through a scary maze-like dungeon. Nobody will move unless the tank moves first because the tank needs to be the one to take initial damage and get enemy aggro. You are therefore kind of expected to know your way around and where to go. This is less about competency, though, and more about confidence in yourself. If you get lost, no one tangibly loses anything. You just find the way eventually. Playing tank forces you to learn maps and enemy patterns. As someone who would rather fade away into the background, this scared the shit out of me.

- Healing responsibility. If someone/everyone dies, it's your fault. It's common to feel like this even if your party consists of 3 dumbasses who can't play and kill themselves on purpose. You feel responsibility because the whole point of you is to take care of everyone. That's the reality, and that's a lot of pressure. Playing healer forces you to have 0.1 reaction time, learn enemy patterns, and know how to prioritize who gets to live and who stays dead. People’s lives are on the line. When I was a child, I told my parents straight up I could never be a doctor.

- No real dps bad narratives though except to git gud. You're not as visible at being bad dps unless you literally stand there doing nothing. You can be head empty no thoughts about most maps and enemies as long as you react normally enough.

This game sounds very unforgiving and mean

To combat this anxiety hurdle, there is a huge focus on guiding and taking care of new people who don't know much. You have a literal sprout icon next to your name until you catch up to the latest expansion. So, like 1000+ game hours?? You are overtly "new" for a very long time.

Because the game is so heavily story-driven and requires a new 4-person dungeon run literally every step of the way, these dungeon queues need to have a steady stream of players ready to run them at all times. Otherwise, it would be actually impossible for newbies to get through the story. Not everyone has friends to make a pre-party with, ok cool guy. Majority of dungeon crawling is done with random parties.

So, you get rewards out the ass for running "duty finder" daily which puts you in a random unlocked dungeon with an automatically-generated party of random people. It is the #1 best way to get exp and level up. You are essentially rewarded for helping out new people to do their required dungeons. You can give advice during the run, tell them how best to go about things, give tips on their job, etc.

I find this so smart as a game philosophy in order to get people to constantly play/revisit all content while also being friendly to new people. New people are the lifeblood of a game. You literally cannot just play in a bubble with only top tier savage raider people and shield yourself from new people or incompetency. Not that I'm calling only new people incompetent.

Competency AKA "What am I doing and why am I bad”

The side effect of running these dungeons randomized is that you will often be dropped into one that you completely forgot about. The average person cannot memorize every single one and everything that happens in it. The game came out in 2010 so there is 10+ years of content.

If this game teaches you anything it's that You Will Fuck Up and it will be a lot and until the end of time. You are honestly forced to come face to face with your own incompetency nearly every time you log on lol. In a sense, you try to put on your best performance every time you enter a 20 min dungeon instance and just hope you don't cause a party meltdown.

It won't matter how many times you practice your rotation or how many times you run through the same dungeon over and over. You will inevitably forget something, you will misclick, you will get tunnel vision and forget to move from an aoe and get slammed in the face and die.

But it's fine. I see people dying to dumb shit all the time. It's fine because you get up and try again. Dungeons are not so difficult that you can't get through it on a second try, usually. There are no consequences to dying or performing sub-optimally except your own personal shame, time, and sadness. In fact, there's an exhilaration you get when things get particularly hairy but everyone pulls through by the skin of their teeth and manages to make it out alive.

CONCLUSION: You are important and contribute to the fight in your own way.

Only once you get over the Mortifying Ordeal can you then achieve the Rewards of Being Loved. There is something so satisfying about each successful dungeon run and knowing it is the result of each party member's cumulative contribution. When a role is missing or dies, there is a noticeable difference. (Even dps. Sometimes fights are ones of attrition and will take 5-10x longer without dps).

So, yes, you are extremely visible to other random strangers who may judge you. But that also means that when you do a good job, your good job is visible. 80% of my dungeon runs end in the party thanking each other. The pressure the game puts on you to do your best but not to stress too hard about it is just enough, in my opinion.

You are encouraged to get over yourself, your ego, your own anxiety.

Personally, it is a point of pride for myself if I am able to hit all my buttons right when I'm supposed to. I want to be good for myself and for my random party members who I will ride or die for after just 20 mins. The game wants you to do your best, to be social and communicate when things go awry, and also to be humble in the face of weird shit happening -- all at the right levels. And then you are treated to the coolest damn visuals and game mechanics I've ever experienced!

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letterboxd · 4 years ago

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How I Letterboxd #10: Chad Hartigan.

Filmmaker Chad Hartigan talks to Jack Moulton about his prescient new sci-fi romance, Little Fish, why radio silence is worse than a bad review, and his secret system of Letterboxd lists.

Chad Hartigan has won prizes at the Sundance Film Festival and the Film Independent Spirit Awards for his acclaimed films This is Martin Donner and Morris From America. He’s also been a Letterboxd member since way back, joining what he proclaims as “my favorite website” in 2013. Hartigan has always been an obsessive logger: he has transcribed all of his viewing data since 1998 and continues to work on filling in the gaps in his downtime.

Like many ardent Letterboxd members, Hartigan is a diligent list-maker, keeping tabs on his best first viewings of each year and assembling an all-time top 1,000 films over the summer (with an accompanying 26-minute supercut). Perhaps unusually for a member of the film industry on Letterboxd, he’s unafraid to hold back his opinions and regularly voices his critiques on even the most acclaimed films.

Hartigan’s newest film, Little Fish, is a sci-fi love story starring Olivia Cooke (Sound of Metal) and Jack O’Connell (Unbroken). Written by Mattson Tomlin, it’s set during an imagined pandemic—shot long before our own actual pandemic—wherein a disease causes people to lose their memories. It was set to premiere at the 2020 Tribeca Film Festival, and then postponed due to Covid-19. It’s now out in limited theaters and on demand, and we were delighted with the excuse to put Hartigan in the How I Letterboxd spotlight.

Olivia Cooke as Emma and Jack O’Connell as Jude in ‘Little Fish’.

You made a pandemic movie before the pandemic. How do you feel about accidentally hitting that unfortunate zeitgeist and now consequently being asked questions like this one? Yeah, strange. The questions are fine. If it wasn’t this one, it would be another that you would have to answer over and over again. One of the things that drew me to the project was that it felt like a fantasy that wasn’t necessarily rooted in reality in a way that my other [films] were. I liked that it’s old-fashioned in its attempts to purely take you somewhere and wasn’t intended to hold up a mirror to our times—but then in the end that’s exactly what it’s doing. I’m curious myself, and I’m checking Letterboxd to see the reactions from people because I really couldn’t guess what it would have been like [now].

Are there any prescient details you’re proud of getting right? I’m so grateful and happy that Jack [O’Connell] is wearing his mask correctly. That’s the number one thing that I’m glad we got right. I think it was very smart of Mattson to focus the movie on [the relationship] rather than the details of this global pandemic. I feel the reason it’s not in bad taste is because it dealt with those things as a backdrop and instead focused on people just trying to remember what’s important and clinging onto those that they love.

Onto our own favorite memory aid, Letterboxd. How did you discover us and how did you manage without us? I’ve been on since 2013, so I’m probably one of the earliest people to jump on it. I love the interface and the diary, just aesthetically it was really fun. I’ve been keeping track of what I see with analog [methods] for as long as I can remember. I have diaries and planners so I logged all that old information. If I was running for president, my platform would be that everybody is required to use Letterboxd comprehensively, because I just love to know what everybody is watching all the time.

Do you talk about Letterboxd in the real world with the other filmmaking people? Yes, and I’m often trying to convince them to join. Other filmmakers are more concerned about having their opinions on peers be public knowledge than I am, I guess. I’ve made four films now and each one’s been bigger and more widely seen than the last. The very first one was a total no-budget affair that couldn’t get into any festivals and I was very excited when I finally got it into the Hamptons Film Festival. It was about half-full and one or two people came up to me afterwards and said they liked it. This was pre-Twitter so I spent the whole next day Googling to see if anybody had written anything. I was so curious to see what people thought and there was nothing—not a review, not a blog—just total emptiness.

When the next film got into Sundance, there were people tweeting their reactions and actual reviews and I read everything. People were asking if the bad reviews hurt me. Absolutely not—nothing can be worse than the radio silence of nobody caring about the first film. The fact that people care enough to sit and write about this movie—good or bad—is a win, and I’ve carried that onward. I like to see what people think, it can be helpful in how you view the film as a success or failure. You learn and move on.

Jack O’Connell at least remembers how to wear a mask in ‘Little Fish’.

Some filmmakers have told us they’re kinder to films after making their own, but you’re not shy at all about being critical. How did making your own films change your perspective as a critic? I don’t consider myself a critic so that’s why I’d be less concerned with someone reading what I thought. Why should they put any stock into what I think? If they get hung up on it then that’s their own stuff because I’m not a critic. Like everyone else on Letterboxd, I just love watching movies. Obviously I can appreciate and understand some of the technical aspects maybe moreso than people who don’t make films, but at the end of the day, rarely that’s the thing that makes you love a movie or not. There’s a great bit in Francis Ford Coppola’s commentary track for Finian’s Rainbow where Fred Astaire’s doing a dance number and [Coppola admits] he totally messed it up because Astaire’s feet aren’t fully in frame. He’s very honest about his mistakes because it’s one of his earliest movies. Then he goes on to say that he thinks there’s the same number of mistakes in Finian’s Rainbow as there are in The Godfather, it’s just that he made mistakes on the things that don’t matter for The Godfather. No film is perfect, but if it can latch onto this one magical aspect that connects you to it, that’s what makes you love it or not.

You had a project where you chart the best films made by directors at certain ages as you reached that age. Tell us more about it. That was a great project. I got the idea when I was 26. This was back when I had a Netflix DVD subscription and it was just hard for me to randomly choose DVDs to throw in the queue. I needed a system. I decided to watch movies from directors when they were my age and see if there’s some common denominator, something I can learn. At that point, there weren’t many, there were films like Boogie Nights and Fassbinder films. Not many people had made stuff when they were 26 or 27, so it was very feasible. Every year there were more movies and more directors to add to the list and it became time-consuming. I did it all the way up until I was 34 and the reason I stopped was because I had a son and there was no way I could continue this level of viewing output.

My favorite part of your account is the fact that you log every viewing of your own films. You know for a fact that you’ve watched Morris From America 26 times and Little Fish fifteen times. Why do you log them? What counts as a viewing? I’ve clearly watched those movies many more times in little chunks but I’ll only log it if we’re sitting down and watching it from beginning to end. I have a ticket to see Little Fish in the drive-in on Saturday, so it’s going to be logged again. Why do I do it? Like I said, I wish everyone was required to use Letterboxd comprehensively. That’s what it’s there for for me, an accurate log of what I watch. This is psychotic behavior but I’m tempted to have a Letterboxd account for my son. I’ll do his views for him once he starts watching movies until he’s old enough to take over. It’ll just be, like, Frozen a thousand times but he’s not old enough to watch anything yet, so we’ll see.

Have you discovered any films thanks to Letterboxd discourse that influenced your approach to filmmaking? For sure, I can’t maybe say specifically, but once I dropped the directors my own age system I didn’t replace it with nothing. I’m a Virgo and I have a little bit of OCD, so I have to have some system. I’ve replaced it with a new complicated system where I pull from different lists and that’s now my main source of how I choose a movie to watch. I have like ten or twelve different lists, each about a thousand movies with a lot of overlap. One of them is my own list of every movie I’ve seen in a theater and I’ll go and look through that and if it’s something I want to revisit. Recently I rewatched Twister, which I hadn’t seen in a long time and is an old favorite from when I was in high school.

I have a bunch of private lists I cycle through; every movie nominated for a Spirit Award, every movie that’s won an Oscar, every movie that’s played in competition at Cannes, the top 1,000 films at the box office. There’s another great website that I use as a biblical resource which is They Shoot Pictures, Don’t They? and their lists of acclaimed films for all-time and the 21st century. I hit those up often. Something that I watched purely because of the very high Letterboxd rating and really loved is Funeral Parade of Roses. I try to see as many movies as I can that have a 4.0 rating or higher.

You respect the Letterboxd consensus. I do, but I don’t always agree with it.

‘Little Fish’ director Chad Hartigan.

Which is your most underrated or overlooked movie according to Letterboxd? I can say I was the very first person to log a movie called Witness in the City, which is an Italian noir movie I watched when I was doing my ‘directors my own age’ series. Literally nobody had logged it, so my review was like “whoa, I can’t believe I’m the first person to log this!”. It was very exciting for me because it’s great, but I’m the OG logger of that movie.

From your list of every film you’ve seen in a theater since you were twelve, which was your most memorable experience? The cheap answer is that it’s hard to top my own movies. The Sundance premiere of Morris From America at the Eccles Theater is maybe the best, but if I’m disqualifying my own films, seeing Scream 3 in a very packed theater in Virginia Beach was really fun, really rowdy. There was a trailer for a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie and I remember the climax was Van Damme going “you lied to me!!!” and everyone laughed. Someone did a George Costanza move later during Scream 3 and yelled out “you lied to me!!!” and everybody laughed again—so that’s a high. That’s the thing I miss the most about movie theaters, and the worry I have if theaters go away, is that so much of how we feel about a movie can be tied to the experience; who we saw it with, what we did before or after, what the crowd was like, or if anything strange happened. There are a lot of movies I have strong memories and affection for because of the experience of seeing them and I probably wouldn’t feel the same way about if I just watched it at home on my laptop.

I typically like to cap interviews off with what filmmakers thought was the best film of the past year, but we have your data to hand. For you, it’s Garrett Bradley’s documentary Time. Can you talk a bit about what makes the film stand out for you? One thing I learned about myself from the pandemic is that the motivation and desire to see new things is very closely tied to the theater-going experience for me. Once that was taken away and you could watch a new movie at home, it joins the pile of all the other movies. The fact that it’s new doesn’t really do anything for me. Why would I press play on Da 5 Bloods when I still haven’t seen Malcolm X? I gotta see Malcolm X! There wasn’t an urgency, so I saw far fewer films than in an ordinary year. But Time I found incredibly moving and important. Similar to what I liked about the Little Fish script, it’s so hyper-focused on one relationship and within that one story it has so much to say about larger issues and the world at large. It was an emotional and rich viewing experience.

‘Little Fish’ is on demand and playing in select theaters now. Images courtesy of IFC Films.

#little fish #chad hartigan #life in film #film director #letterboxd #how i letterboxd #letterboxd member #letterboxd tips #olivia cook #jack o'connell #romance #romantic film #sci fi romance #pandemic movie #covid movie

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dangerouscommiesubversive · 4 years ago

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E with Kaito, Zack and Peco? If you’re alright with that

E is for equal and I am more than all right with that, this is a good ship.

Being slightly in love with Kumon Kaito isn’t an entrance requirement for Team Baron as much as it’s an inevitability, as much standard-issue as their red-and-black jackets and gray waistcoats. Some of it’s probably purely physical--he’s handsome enough, he’s got poise and grace, there’s a sort of giddy rush that comes with the matter-of-fact movement of his hands on your arm or leg as he corrects a move or gets you back on time. But just as much of it is the sense of certainty, the clear knowledge that he knows what’s going on even if you don’t. It’s intoxicating.

He knows it happens, too, knows that everyone on the team is nursing at least half a crush. Peko’s actually gotten the impression that he’d rather they didn’t. He’s not exactly someone who welcomes affection. He barely even likes most of them.

Except Zack. He definitely likes Zack. Well, everyone likes Zack. That’s not even a team thing, that’s just a general fact of life, if you’ve met Zack there’s at least a seventy-five percent chance that you like Zack. Still, sometimes when Kaito’s talking to Zack he almost smiles, which is a big deal.

So.

Kaito likes Zack, in his particular impenetrable Kaito way which could be friendly and could be something more. Zack has a very natural and obvious crush on Kaito.

And Peko, proud owner of both the best slingshot aim and the worst luck in Zawame, is desperately in love with both of them, and has been considering eating his nicest hat for several days now in the hopes of making it stop.

At least he can talk to Zack, who nearly chokes on his smoothie when Peko says, as innocently as possible, “So what were you and Kaito talking about the other day? You were busy for a while.”

Zack coughs, swallows the rest of his mouthful of banana-and-mango smoothie, and says, “Oh, you know. Team stuff.”

At first Zack kind of hated Kaito. Who did he think he was, barging in and taking over Azami’s team like he had any right to it? Zack had briefly considered leaving for another team, but then again, that would have meant leaving Peko behind, and that was entirely unacceptable. So he’d stayed. And by the time he’d realized that he was having feelings about Peko that Azami would probably kill him for, he’d come around on Kaito, too.

Or, more accurately, he’d fallen slightly in love with Kaito, because Kaito just has that effect on people. Which seems to be more of an irritation to him than anything; it’s not as if he likes most people.

Except Peko. He definitely likes Peko. Granted, you’d be an idiot to not like Peko, everyone does. Peko is inherently likeable. He’s cheerful and good-natured. Zack’s considered petitioning the city to make it illegal for him to wear hats that make his hair flop in his eyes.

What had he been thinking about?

Right. Kaito, inasmuch as he has friendly feelings towards anyone, likes Peko. Peko has a radiantly obvious crush on Kaito, slightly more so than most of the other members of Team Baron.

Zack is left trying to figure out when the hell he fell in love with the two most wildly different people he interacts with on a daily basis and how he can make it stop. Having a crush on Peko is bad enough when he has dinner with the guy and his sister every couple of weeks and thus has to weather Azami’s knowing looks; being simultaneously continuously distracted by the set of his team leader’s mouth is just. Obnoxious.

And then, of course, everything gets very confusing, so when Peko asks him a perfectly reasonable question he nearly chokes on his smoothie in an effort to stop himself from saying, Well, Kaito and I were talking out some new choreography and then I think he nearly kissed me. "Oh, you know," he manages after a moment. "Team stuff. New moves, new music."

Peko nods enthusiastically. Why does he have to be so cute? "That's pretty exciting! I mean, not that I don't like our current choreography, but it'd be good to change things up a little, right? To keep people's interest?"

"Yeah, definitely, I--" --can't stop thinking about Kaito except when I'm thinking about you. "I think it's going to be good. Here, I’ve got samples of some of the potential new music on my phone.”

Kaito doesn't like people. They are, for the most part, useless, obnoxious, and weak. Zack, however, is neither weak, nor useless, and his obnoxiousness is variable and mainly connected to how good he looks on any particular day.

Peko's weakness is arguable, but he's...

Kaito doesn't generally like to think of anything or anyone as "cute," and is trying not to make a habit of it.

In any case, Zack and Peko are transparently interested in each other, and perhaps if they start dating then Peko will be on time to practice more often. Kaito has decided that he's not going to examine the odd feeling he gets when he thinks of them together. He's certainly not going to let himself have any more lapses in self-control like the other day's. He's sure that Zack would have allowed the kiss, but he's not interested in being simply tolerated.

Peko is most likely better for Zack, anyway, and Zack is definitely better for Peko. Thus, Kaito resolves firmly not to pursue his own absurd infatuations any further.

After barely two days, though, he finds his resolve being thoroughly tested when Zack manages to corner him after practice and open the conversation with, "Hey, look, Kaito, about the other day."

Kaito looks up at him, quietly resentful of the fact that looking up is even necessary, and says, "Were you interested in revisiting the new musical choices?"

Zack's eyes narrow. "You know that's not what I'm talking about."

"I don't see any need to discuss the other aspects of our conversation."

“Not even the--look, you know.” Zack gestures incoherently, looking frustrated and slightly embarrassed. A momentary glance around to make sure that none of the other members of the team are lurking nearby before, “Did you actually want to kiss me or am I imagining things?”

Kaito glares at him. “Whether or not I did is immaterial, you’re interested in Peko.”

A suspended pause. “I’m--I mean, I am, yeah, but he’s got the worst crush on you, so it’s not like that’d go anywhere. Besides, his sister would kill me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Zack, Azami thinks you’re--repeat that first part.”

“...did you not notice that Peko’s got it bad for you?”

“For how long, exactly?”

At which point, of course, Peko rounds the corner already saying, “Hey, we were looking for you guys, did you want to go to Drup--” and stops dead when they turn simultaneously to stare at him, and Kaito briefly considers leaving dance completely and going into something which causes less emotional turmoil. Politics, perhaps.

Peko is blushing. Zack is also blushing. Kaito feels somewhat warm, which means he’s likely blushing himself, which is not to be borne, so he cuts directly to the point. “Peko, I need you to settle a question.”

A slow nod. “O...k?”

“Zack is under the impression that you’re...interested in me.”

Peko jumps. His hat nearly falls off. “I mean. Uh. Yeah. But you’re sort of obviously into Zack, and he’s definitely into you, sorry, Zack, apparently we’re just talking about this now? So it’s not like I was going to bring it up or anything.”

“I had gotten the distinct idea that you and Zack were--I’m sorry, Zack is what?”

Zack stares fixedly into space for a long moment, long enough that Peko begins to look visibly worried and Kaito allows himself the beginnings of concern. When he finally speaks, it’s very quietly. “So if I’ve got this straight, I’ve been twisting myself in knots for a while now because I was interested in both of you and thought you were more into each other, and you’ve both been doing the same thing.”

Kaito scowls. “That seems to be the case, yes. I don’t believe I signed up to be the protagonist in some sort of romance comic.”

“Oh, no, if this was a romance comic one of you probably would have slapped the wall already.” Both Kaito and Zack turn to look at Peko, who grins awkwardly and scratches the back of his head. “I’m just saying. All I know is it wouldn’t be me, it’s always the tall guy and I’m kind of the opposite of that.” He adjusts his hat, avoiding both of their gazes. “So did you want to come to Drupers?”

Intensely irritated in a way that he can’t quite pinpoint, and which is only made more confusing by the overlaid sense of relief, Kaito says, “Yes,” and grabs Zack’s hand, ignoring the startled noise the gesture produces. He grabs Peko’s hand as well in passing, and Peko lets out a squawk that’s offensively charming and stumbles along after him. “I’m going to get the largest parfait Bandou will make me, and we’re going to discuss this later.”

Peko has to quicken his pace to keep up with Kaito’s quick steps, while Zack shortens his stride a bit in order to stay with them and says, “And you’re not concerned about people staring at us walking down the street holding hands like this?”

“They can stare if they want to.” Kaito is feeling distractingly pleased, and it’s taking more effort than he cares to consider to keep a smile off his face. “It’s not any of their business.”

#kumon kaito #gaim zack #gaim peko #fanfiction #anonamouse

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emberbent · 4 years ago

Text

QUESTIONS FOR YOUR OCs

[Originally posted by @cassandrapentayaaaaas, whose name apparently is also Elle, ayyyy. I’ll be filling this out for my Fire Avatar OC Shinza, and maybe also for some other characters later.]

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Previous to her airbending training, Shinza would have had a hard time being still and doing nothing for longer than a few minutes. Not out of a need to burn off energy, but out of a fear of being alone with her thoughts for too long. Now, she can meditate and be still for over an hour, or much longer if she takes short breaks. She sat for eleven hours for her tattoo, which was the longest she’s gone doing nothing.

How easy is it for your character to laugh?

She doesn’t appear to be easily amused - she’s more of a smirker than a laugher if she finds something funny. Unless she’s among people who are close to her, or she’s drinking pear sake.

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

Shinza’s one of the lucky ones who falls asleep as soon as she climbs into bed. She doesn’t have to do anything special to fall asleep.

How easy is it to earn their trust?

Hard to say. Maybe moderate? She doesn’t like to reveal much about herself unless she really trusts someone not to abuse that information, which isn’t all that often. She’s self-reliant enough that she doesn’t need others to help her most of the time, which can be seen as untrusting. But really, all it takes is showing compassion and self-awareness to get her to let her guard down.

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Fairly easy, since her default mode is not overly trusting.

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

She's always had trouble determining which rules are or should be flexible vs enforced. Now that she’s in a position where she’s more or less exempt from following rules as necessary to keep balance, she’s realizing it’s even more complex than she ever thought. She contemplates often whether she has a duty not to follow the rules she holds others to, or to lead by example and hold herself to those same standards.

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

The smell of petrichor mingling with the oily smog of Republic City brings her back to when she was small, and she would walk with her mother, a doctor, every day to the clinic. Her mother would hold her hand, and they’d traverse in silence, except to point out the stray capuchin cats sheltering under the Satos on the street, or Shinza would ask for a treat from the bakery.

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

Twirling, dancing, spinning around, singing. It wasn’t that her parents discouraged her from these normal activities, but she often didn’t have the presence of mind to refrain in the wrong situations.

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

Not often; usually to emphasize her point. She distinctly remembers being nine years old and watching someone walk into traffic. A bystander earthbent them out of the way just before a Sato could run them over. She said her first curse word aloud as she rode in a cab with her father. He wasn’t mad.

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

She never got into habitual lying. Too much to remember, too much guilt.

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

Lucky for her, she has thousands of past Avatars to talk to.

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

She has long arms - this isn’t normally an issue.

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

Black and shades of red; absolutely.

What animal do they fear most?

Shinza’s not afraid of any animals in a phobia sense, but she does think canyon crawlers are fairly ugly, and she’d hate to meet one.

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

She thinks before she speaks, but she doesn’t rehearse what she wants to say before the conversation happens. She speaks deliberately and rarely says something she doesn’t mean.

What makes their stomach turn?

The normal stuff - gore and viscera, bad smells, being anxious or nervous.

Are they easily embarrassed?

Very much so, although she tries not to let it show.

What embarrasses them?

The biggest thing is having her flaws or screw-ups used as an example to a group. She also suffers pretty bad secondhand embarrassment watching others do embarrassing things.

What is their favorite number?

She doesn’t have one.

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

She’d explain familial love as distinctly separate from platonic or romantic love in that for her, it comes from a place of duty as well as physical proximity and similarity. Her personality closely matches both of her parents’, so they naturally got along well most of the time, which made them feel close, which she might define as familial love.

She feels there’s very little difference between platonic and romantic love, and that one can easily morph into the other and back. These are based on things outside of physical proximity or biology, like shared interests, a common goal, and sexual attraction. Sometimes it’s as simple as, “I don’t know. I just love them.”

Why do they get up in the morning?

Duty. Responsibility. The sunlight coming in through her window has woken her and she can’t go back to sleep.

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

It manifests as deep sadness and a feeling that there’s a flaw she should fix in herself that will make the situation better. Then it festers into shame for having those emotions or caring at all, and she becomes aloof.

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

She might pine for whatever this other fortunate person has that she doesn’t for a second, but then she shrugs it off.

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

She’s happy to talk about sex in an academic sense with acquaintances, but she’s only comfortable discussing her own experiences with her best friend Nero. Even then, she squirms a little.

What are their thoughts on marriage?

She likes the idea of loving someone so much that you’d enter a legally binding, life-long contract with them, and she certainly sees the financial and social advantages. As to whether she wants to get married herself, she’d be perfectly fine either way.

What is their preferred mode of transportation?

Xia, her dragon companion. Especially now that she’s not afraid of heights or the open air anymore. Plus, they just get each other - no words needed. They had a strong bond from the beginning, but ever since Xia saved Shinza’s ass in Gaoling, Shinza feels closer to her than ever.

What causes them to feel dread?

Knowing that the world is watching every move she makes, and that everything she does (or doesn’t do) will go down in history. Knowing that if she can’t protect herself, she could be the last Avatar.

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

Definitely not. Being lied to is something she has a hard time forgiving, and she’d much rather deal with the ripples of an unpleasant truth than feeling she can’t trust the person keeping the truth from her, and finding out anyway.

Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

No, but Shinza holds herself to impossibly high standards.

Who do they most regret meeting?

Yanyu, the ex-Dai Li agent who her parents hired to block her bending and repress her memories when she was little. Shinza thought Yanyu wanted to meet with her in Gaoling to apologize for her role in letting the world go for so long without its Avatar, but it turned out to be a trap; Yanyu attempted to subdue her and turn her over to The Organization.

Who are they the most glad to have met?

Amrit. She came to him on the Island of the Sun Warriors thinking she was a nonbender, that she couldn’t possibly be the Avatar, and he helped her through that confusion. He unblocked her chi and helped her flame. Maybe he was a little too hard on her during training, but he taught her the value of working til you puke. He’s always had her back, even from the first day.

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

No. Shinza rarely leads conversations.

Could they be considered lazy?

Not by any stretch. She’s deliberate, diligent, and hard set on doing things right and thoroughly.

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

Very, which is detrimental to her role as the Avatar. She doesn’t know yet that she will live with the burden of guilt for her decisions and actions her whole life, or how to be okay with that.

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

She’s a supporter and an attentive listener. She does her best to follow up with questions or mention small details later. Unless it’s something like a friend being excited about getting back together with her toxic ex - then she’d be clear about where she stands on the matter.

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

She’s never sought out romance, but she has experienced and enjoyed it. Romantic love isn’t something she requires to feel happy or validated.

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

She doesn’t have a system - she just remembers things like patterns, numbers, and names. It’s a gift that, oddly enough, she was bullied for in school. Sometimes she forgets that others don’t have such an incredible memory and gets frustrated with them, but she’s working on it.

What memory do they revisit the most often?

Leaving Nero alone at the bar, mouth agape, as two Fire Nation officials all but dragged her out the door with them. She never got to explain to Nero what happened after she figured it all out, and she hasn’t seen her since that day almost two years ago. The guilt eats at her.

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

Fairly difficult. She can’t ignore her own flaws, so she’s unable to extend that to others. She’s working on it though, and she’s got Amrit to practice on. No shade tho.

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

Extremely. She was an only child, so her parents were hawks circling her, watching her every move. They didn’t pick on her on purpose, but it was pretty clear to Shinza that they were disappointed she didn’t go to medical school or join the military. On top of that, she grew up believing she was a nonbender, which culminated in a general, oppressive feeling that she was deeply flawed.

How do they feel about children?

She was an only child and didn’t grow up around her extended family, so she doesn’t have a lot of experience being around kids. Before, she could think of worse things than raising a child of her own. But now, she can’t fathom trying to balance her duties while raising a child.

How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

The shame of leaving the physical and spirit worlds out of balance and being remembered as an ineffective Avatar is unfathomable to her. She’d say she wants it more than anything.

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

She’d say she’s sexual, sometimes, and leave it at that.

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?

In every OC, I think there’s at least a little bit of their creator; I didn’t intend for Shinza to end up so similar to myself, but she is. And as I develop my own sense of self, I see that reflected in Shinza when I write her, and that’s pretty exciting.

B) What inspired you to create them?

I’d been wanting to write an Avatar OC story for a long time, and nothing felt right or fun or exciting until I considered using Shinza, a character I’d had stewing in my head for a while. Once I pictured her in the Avatar world, things started falling into place pretty quickly.

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

Absolutely. I planned the story from start to finish so I knew where I was headed, but along the way, Emberbent!Shinza started to take shape in unexpected ways and deviate from the original plan. As her personality in this story evolves, I have to figure out her reactions to things, and the ripples from those reactions, from a new perspective. I don’t have a clear view of her transformation arc, because it’s happening in real time along with mine. The (already flimsy) ending I’d intended has been blown to smithereens, and I have no idea how it’ll go - I’m essentially 50% pantsing at this point - but I feel less frustrated knowing I have more room to see what happens.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

She’s had a number of different physical appearances. At one point, she was a monk child in a DND campaign I played in. In the preliminary planning stages of Emberbent, she looked like Nero, her best friend, and was an Earth Avatar.

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

I like to think we’d get along, but we’d both have to be okay with natural silence. Neither of us are inclined to lead conversations.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

All of the above. Pride because of how hard she’s worked to get where she is; excitement because of all the horrific and wonderful things she’ll go through to turn her into who she’ll ultimately become; and frustrated because she feels flat to me, so I’m assuming she feels flat to others too.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

She can’t see past her own nose yet in terms of her role. It will take some time for her to realize she has to relinquish all of her own desires and happiness to her duty as the Avatar. For now, she’s stuck in selfish-mode, doing her best to help those close to her while trying to maintain her grip on her old ego.

H) What trait do you admire most?

While she’s still working on seeing things from a broad perspective, she has an innate ability to deeply understand people, their feelings, and the situations they find themselves in. She’ll drop everything in order to help.

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

Yeah. I’m not into crossover fics... yet.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

Mmm, I don’t know about manipulating canon, but I definitely extended it and filled in some parts as needed. Since she’s not the Avatar that came directly after Korra, I had to create the character that came between them. And since Shinza’s timeline is well after Korra’s, I had to envision what Republic City and the world would look like 70 years or so in the future.

Edit: Actually, just kidding. I forgot I totally manipulated canon when I figured out a way for Shinza to reconnect with the Avatars before Aang.

#atla #avatar the last airbender #lok #avatar legend of korra #avatar fic #avatar oc #emberbent

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morfinwen · 4 years ago

Note

For the Excessively Detailed Headcanon ask: 4 for Angela, 5 for Christopher, 12 for Reagan, 39 for Neal, 43 for Lanzo, 7 for Ash, 46 for Connie, 35 for Aidan, 20 for Q, 22 for Nate, 19 for Amanda, 23 for Niner, 42 for Elise, 11 for Julie, 26 for Jerome, 24 for Kayla, 18 for Hannah, 17 for Knife, 32 for Elarin, 31 for Meaghan, 38 for Leah, 48 for Avery, 1 for Ian, 8 for Lauren, 15 for Kira, 37 for Darcy, and 16 for Susanna.

Almost forgot the read more!

1. What does Ian’s bedroom look like?

Contained chaos. Poorly contained chaos.

He’s got a bed, a desk, a dresser, and an end table. The desk is the tidiest: the papers on it are stacked haphazardly, there might be a pen or pencil or two lying on it but most are in the drawer, and if something that doesn’t belong gets set on it there’s at least a chance it’ll get moved by the end of the week.

The dresser is mostly for stacking stuff on top of, and storing clothes he no longer wears but hasn’t gotten rid of yet. There’s usually a jacket or a shirt or some more awkward piece of clothing hanging off one of the knobs.

The bedside table has his phone, its charger, and a variety of junk -- mail he brought to the bedroom to read, a comb he forgot to take back to the bathroom, a half-full (or half-empty) glass of water, a pair of socks he picked up to wear then forgot about, a single slipper set there while he was looking for its mate, etc.

There's sheets on his bed, plus a blanket if it's been cold lately, but if the corners of the fitted sheet are all pulled over the mattress, then it is tidier than usual. Whatever he’s wearing for night clothes at the moment, if he’s even bothering, will be anywhere from near the pillows (he has two very flat pillows that are usually in pillowcases) to hanging off the foot. The sheets, it’s worth noting, often have cartoon characters on them.

The floor is hidden under a layer of clothes, towels, shoes, blankets, boxes, sheets, books, etc. About the only things you won't find on the floor are plates or food-related items, anything that will attract bugs, as well as loose papers since those pose a falling hazard (everything else just makes him stumble).

4. What would Angela do if she needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

If there’s something near to hand that doesn’t require the kitchen, she’d have that, but most likely she’d wait until it was available. She doesn’t particularly like or dislike cooking, but she does not like fast food, and she’s patient.

5. Christopher’s cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

There are places he cares about cleanliness, and there are places he does not.

Most of his living quarters, particularly the kitchen, are spotless. Dishes get washed and the table and counters wiped down immediately after eating. Clothes get folded or hung as soon as they’re dry, and dirty ones go straight in the hamper. Making the bed happens almost as soon as he gets out of it.

Christopher’s work areas, on the other hand, are disaster zones. Anything that might provide some inspiration, or is part of that thing from two months ago he’s still working on, or was used for that other thing two years ago he wants to revisit, ends up on a desk or a table or lying on the floor somewhere, and isn’t getting put away until he’s done with it. No one is permitted to touch anything -- he knows exactly where everything is (which is true, and he can prove it too), and it’s all part of his own particular organizational system (which is … less true; there’s some organizing going on, but it’s less of a system and more of a feeling), so leave it where it is.

His personal hygiene is hit-or-miss. Brushing teeth, usually a hit; showering, often a miss, unless he’s performing soon.

7. Ash’s favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

It isn’t necessary to schedule every hour of your day, but even after a few years of regular contact with Lanzo, Ash still does not have what Lanzo considers a proper appreciation for the value of lazing around.

That said, for years Ash has found it difficult to ignore the allure of a summer afternoon nap; particularly when it’s raining outside, he’s just had a mug of relaxing lavender tea, there’s a soft blanket and the entire couch is free to stretch out on … zzzz.

8. Lauren’s favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

If she’s had a really rough week, the first chance she gets, she’s having a hot bath, followed by a bowl of cinnamon ice cream while watching either a screwball comedy or a tragic romance, whichever she feels like.

Lauren’s got a fair amount of good old-fashioned Catholic guilt, but it’s heavily concentrated in certain areas and almost never touches other things. Some things she’s overindulged in and never felt guilty about, other relatively harmless things have kept her awake at night for hours. The above scenario usually doesn’t make her feel bad.

11. Julie’s intellectual pursuits

Julie is -- well, was, post-Allwinter -- attending college, for what would probably end up being a degree in History, but she likes reading about all kinds of different things. Mostly psychology and philosophy, but also about other cultures, geography, and nature, specifically trees and plants. She’s one of those jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none types, only more with knowledge than skills.

12. Reagan’s favorite book genre

Science-fiction or fantasy. A slight preference for the former, as she’s found it easier to find sci-fi graphic novels.

With her dyslexia, Reagan doesn’t read much, so anything that is easily read, and more importantly easily visualized, is her favorite, regardless of genre.

15. Kira’s biggest and smallest short term goals

Biggest: Survive high school. In the third-largest city in the country. Where she knows no one. No problem! (said with major sarcasm)

Smallest: Find a way to remember her locker combination so she doesn’t need to carry around a scrap of paper with it written on it.

16. Susanna’s biggest and smallest long term goals

Smallest: Learn to do a handspring.

Biggest: Get elected president of the United States.

17. Knife’s preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

Customizable!

From a young age, Knife’s mostly gotten plain t-shirts and jean jackets that she could decorate herself, with fabric markers or felt patches or (for a very brief period in middle school) bedazzle. It was one of the few things she could keep doing after the accident, which changed it from just a hobby to a representation of her independence and self-image, and therefore practically sacred. Not that everything she wears is customized, just most of it. She’s also familiar with sewing basics, not enough to make her own clothes from scratch, but she can modify them.

As far as “rituals”, it is important to her to display something she’s decorated or modified the first time she wears it. She’s not looking for praise or even acceptance really, just acknowledgement.

18. Hannah’s favorite beverage

Chocolate milk. She also drinks a lot of Sunny D.

19. What does Amanda think about before falling asleep at night?

Ideas for new articles. Sometimes ones she could reasonably write for work, others are something she might want to work on independently in the future, and still others are too niche or weird for publishing anywhere but are just fun to think about.

20. Q’s childhood illness? Any interesting stories behind them?

When Q was very little, he was more prone to catching any bugs that were getting passed around him. As he’s gotten older, that’s become less of a problem, but he’s got a 50/50 chance of getting the flu in a given year.

Once he was old enough to go to boarding school, and therefore came under the jurisdiction of his aunt and uncle, if he so much as sneezed or coughed suspiciously, that was grounds for him taking the day off school and spending it in his room instead, with a steady supply of fluids and soups, regular check-ups by staff, and a nurse if his temperature climbed a degree too high.

On the one hand, it was great to get out of school, and probably prevented him from getting sicker in at least a few cases, as he didn’t get exposed to more germs while his immune system was already busy. On the other, it didn’t take him too many years to realize this was his aunt and uncle’s way of protecting an asset rather than any kind of familial concern for his health, which kind of ruined it as relaxation.

Honestly, the worst thing about it (from Q’s perspective) is how very Rich Kid™ that was, and how much of an effect it had on him. The first few times he got sick as an adult on his own in LA were not pretty.

22. Nate, given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

Doodles or little comics, poking fun at people who annoy or aggravate him but he isn't willing or able to confront.

23. How organized is Niner? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in her everyday life?

From a certain perspective, Niner is very organized: she organizes everything into two categories, stuff she cares about and stuff she doesn’t. She keeps the two things very separate in her day-to-day life. Stuff she doesn’t care about gets ignored, left alone, or explicitly dismissed, while the stuff she cares about gets her full attention -- at least for a little while.

24. Is there one subject of study that Kayla excels at? Or does she even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

Kayla values intellectual pursuits, but they’re not of particular interest to her, generally speaking. She’s mostly interested in keeping the house clean, helping Hannah grow up healthy and happy, and just figuring out all the various aspects of being alive.

26. Does Jerome have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t work out?

Pre-Allwinter, Jerome’s future plans mostly had to do with Hannah’s future (health, college, career, etc.) and eventually retirement. He and Kayla hoped to adopt at some point, since she couldn’t have kids herself, but at the time it wasn’t something they were directing energy toward. None of those plans were hard-and-fast, so they didn’t really require contingency plans.

Now, he has even fewer plans, as just figuring out how things work in the Allwinter and adjusting to it is a full-time occupation. He has an excellent support network now, so even if he does make plans that don’t work out, he’s pretty sure he’s in a good place.

31. Meaghan’s most prized possession

Her lightsaber. Not just because of its usefulness, but because how much it represents everything that’s happened since her exile and return to the Order. It’s different from her first one, in its materials, construction, and design, and shows how much she’s changed and grown.

Also, it’s a fricking lightsaber. Not even Meaghan is immune to the awesomeness that is a fricking lightsaber.

32. Elarin’s thoughts on material possessions in general

Unlike Meaghan, Elarin followed the Jedi regulations on owning possessions because she had to, and because she didn’t have many opportunities to violate it, not because she believed in it. She hasn’t acquired many things herself, but while she understands the dangers of greed and the potential to get buried by one’s things, she thinks getting hung up on how many possessions someone has is missing the forest for the trees, or whatever the Star Wars equivalent idiom is.

35. What activities does Aidan enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

Meticulous fan wikis that document how many times a character shows up, or how many times a character in a 1,000-issue manga eats this particular flavor of ramen, or document every slang term used in a sci-fi series. It’s fascinating to read or think about documenting, but really Mac, don’t you have anything better to do with your time?

37. Is Darcy more analytical or more emotional in his decision-making?

He is much more analytical than emotional. Not quite as analytical or as immune to emotion as he thinks, but still very analytical.

38. Would Leah consider herself a Type A or Type B personality?

Still Type B, though that defined her better pre-War.

39. What recharges Neal when he’s feeling drained?

Anything that can either be done alone, or in a group setting where talking isn’t expected, but keeps him occupied enough that his thoughts don’t overwhelm him. For Neal, painting, playing the drums or guitar, surfing, or sculpting fit that bill. The last two more than the former.

42. Elise’s hobbies

Tennis is the main one. She and an old friend from high school get together every so often for a game, and she’s taught Julie to play. She also jogs on occasion.

Elise isn’t as in to knitting or crocheting as other people she knows, but it’s something to do with her hands when she’s watching something: usually baseball, as she is a loyal New York Yankees fan.

If she has a few hours of downtime, she’s a fan of old-school Mario games and in particular speedrunning, without using glitches or cheats. She’s got a very respectable time.

43. How far did Lanzo get in formal education? What are his views on formal education vs self-education?

A brief Google search tells me little about education for medieval German nobility, but for Lanzo i imagine it involved a Latin grammar school (probably through a local church) and university. He was not a particularly diligent student at the time, and if there was some way for him to stay at home with a tutor instead, he would have taken it.

Formal education has its merits, but Lanzo is absolutely in favor of delaying college or skipping it entirely if you like. He's supportive of the idea of self-education, but from his perspective, how your life turns out is at least as dependent on luck as anything deliberate. He does recommend learning rudimentary finance stuff and something that will reliably give you work, however (if you can’t marry someone loaded).

46. Does Connie express his thoughts through words or deeds?

It takes him time to express anything, as he wants to think it through from beginning to end before he’s comfortable sharing them, but words, mostly. Not that he’s unwilling to follow through with actions.

48. How does Avery express love?

In love language terms, Gift Giving and Acts of Service (in game mechanics terms, giving gifts and helping out with personal side missions). For those she really cares about, she’ll make the effort to spend time with them even when they’re not doing anything interesting, but she’s a busy, active woman who gets distracted easily, so that’s less common.

Thanks for asking!

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