#like the kind were youre finally able to express yourself without feeling weird about it

[saphy-kat98]

So I went a little crazy. But guys, my motivation to draw has never been stronger.

[guiltyasdave]

come morning light

chapter 2 • series masterlist

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: An injured Joel and Ellie stumble into your home in the middle of the night. Against your better judgement, you decide to help them.

word count: ~2.5k

tags/warnings: post outbreak, slow burn, found family, age gap (sorry not sorry), able-bodied reader, angst, reader has a sad sad backstory and ptsd, hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual smut, vague description of an injury

a/n: i'm finally finished with chapter 2, and once again nervous af about it haha. there's not terribly much happening in this one, but i promise we'll get there, it just needs the buildup :)

thank you @catchallfangirl for beta reading <3

follow @guiltyasdavenotifs for fic updates and find my full masterlist here :)

dividers as always by the lovely @saradika-graphics 🤍

You don’t feel like you’ve slept at all, but after hours of tossing and turning in the darkness of your bedroom, you think it’s probably time to get up. 

You’re halfway convinced that last night’s events were a product of your imagination, that your mind has felt so lonely that it conjured up the whole scenario. But when you step out of your bedroom and find the door of your parents’ bedroom only halfway closed, the way you have never left it before saying good night to Ellie earlier, you have to come to terms with the fact that this might actually be your reality. 

Ellie seems to be sound asleep, a lump under the covers, softly breathing, but when you head to the living area and switch on one of the smaller lamps, you’re met with the piercing glare of Joel. He’s still lying on the couch, much like you left him, still pale, still dark shadows under his eyes, but he’s much more awake now, his gaze following your every move. 

“Hey,” you say softly, sinking down on the same armchair that you sat in when you watched him last night while Ellie took a shower. You suppress a shudder at the way he regards you, his eyes flicking up and down your body, taking in your size, you presume, searching for weapons. Your gun is tucked into the waistband at the back of your pants, which you’re sure he’s already aware of. You don’t like the way he makes you feel, like somehow you’re intruding on him. You should have the upper hand, this is your home and he’s injured, you helped him for crying out loud, and here you are, nervously watching his every move. You did the right thing. It’s gonna be fine. 

“Where’s Ellie?” he asks, ignoring your greeting, his voice gruff. 

“Sleeping,” you reply, nodding your head to the bedroom door. “She’s okay, I promise.” 

Some of the tension seems to release from his body and he slumps back down a little, but the distrust in his expression when he looks at you doesn’t waver. Then again, you’re probably not much different. 

“Look,” you sigh, “I’m not playing some kind of game here. You came into my house, I saw that you needed help, so I helped.” You try to infuse your voice with as much confidence as you can. “Don’t make me regret that, okay?” 

He shrugs, a noncommittal grunt the only verbal answer. It could potentially be interpreted as a thanks, you guess. In a less tense situation, you’d probably grow annoyed by now. Shrugging yourself, you get to your feet and head to the kitchen. Anything to escape the way he’s watching your every movement.

“Hey, do you want coffee?” You don’t really want to offer him any, but you’d feel weird drinking it yourself without asking. 

He pipes up at the question, head turning in your direction, his face the most open that you’ve seen it yet. “You have coffee?” 

“Yeah.” That’s why I’m fucking asking. 

“I– yes.” A breath, a second of him not meeting your eyes. “Thanks.” 

You smile, small, fleetingly, busying yourself with the ground beans and the boiling water, reveling in the smell that slowly spreads throughout the room. It reminds you of happier times, when the world was still normal. 

He has pushed himself into a sitting position, breathing heavily, when you walk over to hand him the steaming cup, still careful to keep your distance. 

After you sit back down, the both of you stay silent for a few minutes. You enjoy the bitter taste on your tongue, the way you slowly feel your energy rising. 

“Does it hurt much?” you ask eventually, gesturing towards his stomach. 

Another grunt, the hint of a head shake. 

“So it does.” He opens his mouth, the protest most likely already on his tongue, and you raise an eyebrow. “I have painkillers, are you sure that you–”

“No.” It comes fast, his voice raised, no room for arguments.

You instinctively flinch back at the unexpected louder sound, the cup shaking in your grip. You set it down on the table in front of you. Have your hands free, just in case.

There’s a hint of regret in his eyes, his free hand slightly raised, palm open. He’s trying to calm you down, you realize. 

“Okay,” you breathe, working hard to keep your voice steady, “no painkillers, got it.” 

“Sorry,” he mutters, his face half hidden, words almost lost behind the cup. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” 

“It’s alright,” you tell him as much as yourself. 

You’ve gotten jumpy, not used to loud sounds anymore, raised voices, not used to humans in general, you suppose. You hadn’t fully realized it until now, until there’s other humans around you again.

“Thank you,” he continues unexpectedly, “not just for the coffee, but– you know.” He’s struggling, the words not coming easily, but you think that he’s being earnest. “Patching me up.”

“Of course.” You nod hastily, your heart still beating a little too fast. 

Another moment passes in silence, both of you slowly sipping the coffee. He’s looking around, taking in his surroundings, eyes lingering on the closed wooden doors and the stairs leading up. You try not to get nervous about it. It’s normal that he would want to know more about where he is, after all. 

“This is the basement, right? Is it safe?” 

“Yeah,” you breathe. “No way to get in from outside.” As long as you stay inside, you’re safe.

He hums, appreciatively, you think.

“How long have you been living here?” 

“Always. It’s my parents’ house. I mean–” you laugh, but it comes out hollow, “we lived upstairs, obviously. But my dad was… kinda crazy. Or– not that crazy, I guess, all things considered.” Your lips curl into a wry smile. 

Your mind flashes back to long lectures about survival techniques, learning how to shoot, your father going on and on about first aid, hunting, all the things that you couldn’t have cared less about as a teenage girl, but were ingrained in your brain nonetheless. You’re grateful, now, but it’s laced with guilt about how often you snapped at your father, how often you told him he was paranoid, seeing dangers that weren’t there, that he was wasting your time. You couldn’t have known, the rational part of you argues. But you can never take it back now, the guilt whispers. 

When you look up, Joel’s eyes are on you, eyebrows raised in question. You shake your head, trying to clear it. Stay in the present.

“Sorry, what did you–?” 

Worry is painting his expression. “Are you okay?” 

Don’t show weakness. “Yeah, of course. Just spaced out for a second.” 

You force a smile onto your face and stand up rather abruptly, gathering both cups and putting them into the sink. Joel hasn’t moved, but you feel his eyes on you as you move. 

“Do you, um, do you want to shower, maybe? Or just wash up, I don’t know, how–” You gesture towards the dried bloodstain on his flannel, forcefully keeping your tone light. “I have clean clothes, too, if you want.” 

A shiver runs through you at the thought of going through your dad’s things, of someone else wearing them. He doesn’t need them anymore. He’s not coming back. 

You know that you’ve gone silent for too long again even before you see Joel’s expression. He doesn’t ask this time, but there’s something in his eyes that you can’t place, something that almost looks like understanding. 

“Yeah, I guess cleaning up a bit would be nice. I– thank you. Again” 

His voice is gruff and he avoids your eyes. You think that he doesn’t like it, having to thank you. Owing you. 

Giving him a nod, you head to the bedroom, hoping not to disturb Ellie, but she’s awake already, her eyes glinting in the light that’s falling into the dark room from the living area. You clench your jaw, heading for one of the drawers, trying hard not to think about what you’re doing. It’s not like he ever wore this stuff, it was just sitting down here. It’s fine, you’re fine. 

“Don’t worry, it’s not about you,” Ellie says quietly from beside you, breaking through your racing thoughts. 

You turn towards her, confusion on your face. “What is?”

“Joel,” she shrugs, still keeping her voice low. “He’s like that with everyone. He’s a bit of an asshole, really.” She sounds fond, saying it, like it’s an endearing character trait. 

A surprised laugh escapes you. “I– okay, thanks, I guess.” 

She waves it away, swinging her feet out of the bed. “No, thank you for not murdering me in my sleep.” 

“Yeah, likewise.” You shake your head, still laughing to yourself. It’s so easy to like the girl, to feel like you already know her. 

You hand Joel a pile of clothes, purposefully avoiding to look at them too closely, explain where the towels are and he grumbles his approval before the bathroom door closes behind him. 

You release a breath and close your eyes for a second. You are undeniably warming up to Ellie, finding it almost impossible not to, but her companion is a different story. 

“Hey, do you drink coffee?” you ask in the direction of the bedroom. 

“Ew, no!” comes her reply as she steps out of the door, collecting the wild mess of hair on the top of her head and securing it in a ponytail.

Her offense at the mere suggestion makes you chuckle under your breath as you busy yourself with preparing breakfast in the form of porridge instead. She’s leaning against the doorframe, watching you, her eyes wide as she takes in the cupboards full of supplies. 

You’re glad that you don’t need anything from the storeroom, keeping that door in the corner firmly closed. You want to trust her, want to trust them, but a feeling of unease still lingers at the thought of letting them know just how much you have.

Instead, you voice another question, a thought that fills you with unease as well. 

“Hey,” you begin, keeping your eyes trained on the stove, “I’m sorry, but you and Joel, there– there isn’t anything weird going on, is there?” 

“Like what?” She sounds slightly defensive, but when you steal a glance at her, she’s eyeing you with curiosity. 

“I don’t know, like…” You shrug, stirring the mixture of water and oats, “you want to be here, he’s not forcing you to come with him or anything, right?” 

“No, don’t worry about that,” comes her reply, almost amused. It was a bit of a stupid question, when you think about it, considering how worried she was about him last night, how protective. 

“Okay,” you smile at her. You’re curious nonetheless, how they ended up together and where they’re headed, but it’s probably not really your place to ask. 

You divide the porridge into three bowls and hand her one, while you carry yours and one for Joel back to the living area and set them down on the wooden table. 

Ellie starts shoveling the food down immediately and you’re left wondering once more what happened to them and when they last ate something. 

“So…” Ellie begins, her mouth still half full, “you’re just down here with all this food? Because your dad stored it here, before… things went to shit?” 

You can’t blame her for her curiosity, you’re aware that you’ve probably found yourself in a better living situation than most people. Your thoughts go to the storeroom again, basically stuffed with enough supplies to last you multiple lifetimes, especially now that it’s just… No.

You hum in affirmation, not trusting your voice and you’re thankful that she’s too distracted by her breakfast to notice anything weird about your reaction. 

“So you don’t go out hunting or anything?” comes her next question. You freeze. 

You did go hunting, back when you cared about variance in the meals you prepared, about using fresh ingredients when you could. Until there was no need for that any more. 

You realize that Ellie is saying your name, not for the first time, judging from the look on her face. 

“Sorry,” you mumble, your hands tightening around the bowl. “No, I- I don’t go hunting.”

If she finds the situation weird, she shrugs it off impressively fast. 

She nods to herself, eating quietly for a minute, before she speaks up again. “So what do you… do? Down here all day?” 

“Uh…” What is it that you do all day? Time has been blurring together, days without anything happening repeating on a constant loop. You realize that you don’t remember, can’t talk of any activities that are part of your day. How long has it been like this?

You’re relieved from having to answer by Joel emerging from the bathroom, his face pale and his breaths going heavy. He has put on the sweatpants you gave him, but his torso is bare, the skin around the injury still an angry red. 

He sinks back down into the cushions with a heavy sigh and you quickly get to work, cleaning the wound once more and giving him more antibiotics before you redo the bandages and hope for the best. Your hands don’t shake as badly as they did last night. 

Ellie gets him some water and pushes his bowl of porridge into his hands, urging him to eat, before she turns to you. She’s trying to be strong, to hide her worry, but the pleading look in her eyes when she asks you if he’s gonna be okay tells a different story. 

“Of course,” you say, giving her what you hope to be a reassuring smile. 

Joel does look better after he’s eaten something, but his eyelids are drooping and after a few more minutes, his eyes close and his breath evens out. You do the dishes and check the cameras, calming down a bit more when you’re sure that everything seems to be quiet upstairs. 

When you return to the living area, Ellie is rummaging through her pack, muttering to herself, until she pulls a book out of, proudly turning the cover for you to read it. No pun intended - Volume Too.

She starts reading them to you while you settle back down with a second cup of coffee and you share her laughs, enjoying the way it makes her look lighter, allows her to be a kid who can laugh at stupid jokes. You ignore the sting it causes in your chest because you once knew someone who would have loved this book just as much as Ellie does.

thank you for reading 🤍 if you liked this, please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or sending an ask, it truly makes my day every single time!

[sawyerslvt]

Bubba's First Time (Leatherface- TCM)

Summary: You get kidnapped by Johnny Slaughter at a bar and he brings you home to kill you. Leatherface ends up protecting you. To express your gratitude, you let him use you for his pleasure.  Word Count: 4,105 Warnings: MDNI, coercion, rough sex, smut

You’re screaming, flailing your arms around and fighting for your life as you get pulled inside the house. It was the dead of night and your kidnapper drove a long way to get here. You know your screams get lost in the darkness of the night, with not a soul nearby to hear your pleading cries. 

“I found me a real pretty one huh, old man?”. The man is speaking to an older man. “Quit your playing round’ boy! Get it over with, supper's ready”. The old man doesn't seem amused and you're yanked away towards a staircase leading to a basement. Before the man forces you down the steps, your eyes get drawn to a room. It had a dining table in the middle, food already placed and ready on the table. In one of the chairs sat a large man. He wore a strange looking mask, both elbows on the edge of the table with cutlery in each hand, ready to dig into his meal. You manage to make eye contact with him, knowing there is not much he could do for you. For all you knew, he could be a fate worse than what you were about to face in this basement. 

You look at him with your tearfilled, makeup smeared and terrified face.  With the short seconds you got to share with the beast, you noticed a strange look on his face. His face looked softened, his muscles relaxed and his eyes looked intrigued by your desperate state. He tilts his head and you can't help but feed yourself delusions, was it pity… or sympathy? 

The man tugs at you and you lose sight of the beast, hidden behind the walls. While being dragged down the stairs, his face was scarred into your mind. Your cries get more frantic, movements more hysterical but the man doesn't budge and you're met with a heavy slide door that leads down to the basement. 

Not much time passes before you're hooked with your tied wrists to the ceiling. “Stay still. This will only hurt for a minute”, the man wears a smug smirk and his voice has hints of mockery. You can tell this amuses him. You've run dry on tears and energy to fight back, so your response to his demand was a mere defeated bow of the head. The man lifts his knife to your throat but before he is able to slice, the same slide door reopens and the beast is stood by the entrance. 

“I'm almost done here, boy. I'll be up in a second”, his voice now irritated by the interruption. The beast takes heavy and confident stomps towards the two of you while letting out deep grunts. He halts in front of the man, still holding a knife to your throat. He finally lowers his knife and you feel it nick you, drawing some blood. “What's the matter with you, boy?!” the man snaps. The beast gets closer to him as if to intimidate him, or at the very least, making himself clear of his intentions without using his words. He gets in front of your hanging body, blocking and getting between you and the man wanting to kill you. “Oh I see, you want her to yourself?”. The beast nods and you're confused by the strange interaction. Other than the weird display and protection from the beast, you're left feeling eternally thankful for him saving your life. You're not sure how long the luck will last but for the moment, you let out a sigh of relief. 

“I'll leave for you to take care of her after dinner. Let's go before the old man makes a fuss”. The man heads up the stairs but before the brute follows along, he walks over to you. He is looking up at your exhausted expression and you manage to make eye contact. He was wearing the same expression from earlier… It was kind. He lays his large hands on either side of your waist and unhooks you from the ceiling. Although he had rough and large hands, his touch was soft and movement gentle. He slowly brings you down to the floor and you feel like a feather the way your feet were carefully placed onto the cold stone surface.

He continues holding your waist while you're drowned into each other's eyes. “...thank you”. You finally break the silence. Your voice is soft and quiet, like the squeak of a mouse. He lets out a low grunt and to your surprise pulls you in for a hug. Your eyes widen at the suddenness of it all, he didn't say anything, he keeps you in his arms and gives you a squeeze almost as an apology for what you've been through. That's how you interpreted it, and you let him hold you as you’re absorbing his warm apology. All too soon, his warmth is gone and as he walks away and shuts the sliding door behind him. You're left missing his touch.

After what felt like ages, you hear the sliding door open back up and your heart skips a beat, scared it might be your kidnapper. You feel a wave of relief hit as you’re met with the large figure of the gentle giant. You hadn't moved much since he had left. With your time in solitude, you were thinking of ways you could thank him and as the man was walking towards you, your thoughts grew wilder. You’re sitting on your feet with your hands on your thighs, looking up at him towering over you. You look like a dog greeting its owner. As if he read your mind, he rests one of his large hands on your head, petting you as he admires your beauty. You lean into his touch and it feels good to feel something other than fear For once, you feel safe.

You slowly make your way back on your feet, all while never breaking the alluring eye contact. Your hands travel up his body as you stand up but his body seems somewhat stiff, confused- but not complaining. “I wanted to thank you for saving my life”. Your voice is sensual and very suggestive. As your hands make your way to his big bulge, you feel him get stiffer but this time he also pulls away with a disapproving groan. He looks down and shakes his head slightly. "It's okay… I just want to express my gratitude”. Your voice is gentle as you reach for his bulge again, now growing due to your touch. Once again he hesitates and pulls away with the same disapproving grunt. 

The room you're in had a mattress leaned up against the wall. It had some signs of usage in the form of mysterious spots and holes, but given your situation, you didn't think too much of it. You pull on it, making it fall to the ground with a thud, letting some dirt and dust fly into the air. The giant watches you curiously as you prop its edges parallel to the wall. You turn around and watch him still standing behind you. You scoot over to sit on the mattress with your back leaned against the wall, hands resting on either side of you. You look up at him as you tilt your head and smirk slightly. You’re spreading your legs slowly, letting your skirt reveal your panties to the man in front of you. He looks completely stunned but you can tell he doesn't want you to stop what you're doing. “Just watch me then”. Your words escape you somewhat desperately as your attraction to the beast grows like an uncontrollable virus.

You let your hand find its way to your aching clit over your already soaked panties. You slide your panties off of you and leave your wet slit exposed to the air. You feel your spine arch and head shoot back as your fingers come in contact with your nub. You start to slowly rub your clit and move your hips in circles while making sure your legs stay spread for the man to have the best view possible. As you pleasure yourself, you have your eyes shut focusing on the stimulation, until you hear the man grunt and move around. You bring your head back and see him kneeled down at the end of the mattress. He continues letting deep groans escape his throat and he inches closer to you on all fours, slowly, and without breaking eye contact. You watch as the giant is moving towards you, his big body casting a dark shadow over you, making you feel smaller than you've ever felt. His eyes narrowed like he was finally seeing you as the prey you were meant to be. You rub your clit harder, as the view of him in this position made it impossible to tame your wild mind. 

He stops right in front of you as he watches you pleasure yourself, licking his lips as if he was tasting your sweet pussy. You can't handle his lack of action so you grab his hand. He's confused by your touch but curious about you, allowing you to hold it. You hold onto his hand and start pulling it down to your pussy. You feel him protest and pull back again. "It's okay… you saw how I did it? Just do as I showed you and you’ll be fine” you try convincing and swaying his opinion with your gentle and sensual voice. You pull his hand but once again, he tries pulling away. “Look, I'll help you. Just please… I want you to touch me”, your voice is desperate and you want his long and thick fingers to fill your tight pussy. 

You consider him defeated as you feel his hand soften. You pull his hands towards your sensitive cunt for the third time and this time he allows you. You wrap your whole hand around his middle and index finger. His hands were so big and that's all you could really fit in your small grasp. You bring his hand closer until you feel his rough fingertips come in contact with your clit. Both of you let out a gasp as a result of the contact. You use his fingers to rub your nub and fuck, it felt so much better than your own fingers. You continue rubbing harder and faster and the beast's wonderful grunts fill your ears as if he was feeling pleasure himself. 

Without any direction from you, the beast unexpectedly pushes his index and middle finger into your hole. You let out a loud moan, making your own ears bleed. He doesn't understand what he's done but your reaction was something he was starting to get addicted to. He pulls his fingers back out and you hold his wrists, pulling on them to let him know that you wanted more. He pushes them back in, this time a little harder and you let out the same moan. You feel as the beast goes from hesitant and held back to him becoming progressively hungrier in his movements. He forces his big fingers into your hole, abusing it and you encourage him with your hysteric cries. He sees your white cream coat his fingers, confused by it, he brings it to his mouth and tastes your juices. You see his eyes widen as he's tasting you, licking his fingers clean before sticking them back into you to coat his fingers again, then licking them clean again.

He continues doing this many times until he realizes the best way to get the most of you was to bring his mouth to it. And that's exactly what he does, he lets his mouth find your pussy and immediately starts licking. He starts by giving you small licks, but the more he tastes you, the bigger the licks get. Until he finally started sucking as much of the juice as he could. He uses his hands to spread your pussy lips and sees your red and swollen clit stand out. Curious by it, he sucks on it and hears as your moans get as intense as ever. You grab his hair with both your hands and pull a little. That was all the signs he needed, now he was laser-focusing on your clit. He’s obsessed with your reactions and he sucks hard, he licks fast and sucks even more. “ff-ffuck mm gonna cum, please”. Your words escape in a broken scream but the beast doesn't stop. You feel your walls tighten and you cum in his mouth. He shows no signs of stopping and once he sees even more white cream leak out of your pussy, he licks it all clean. He shoves his tongue as deep as he can to taste as much of your sweet pussy as possible. You taste so good, he could never get enough and you moan loud as his tongue explores the inside of your sensitive hole.  

His mouth is killing you. The air is heavy and the scent of your wet cunt is filling the room, making him lick his lips again. Once he calms down you pull away from him, knowing he could stay between your legs for hours. You position yourself to sit back on your feet. You touch his bulge again and he watches you, giving you groans of approval. You start stroking the outside of his pants. He was already hard but you could tell it wasnt to its full potential, yet it felt massive. You subconsciously take a gulp, anticipating and preparing yourself for his big size as you pull his pants and underwear down at the same time. 

When his cock was fully exposed to you, you found yourself floored by his enormous size. Not only was it long, but the real shock was the thickness and girth of it. You've never seen anything comparable, just staring at it made your pussy throb. You can tell he’s fully confused by what you're doing, he has no idea about the purpose of the thing between his legs. “I wont touch it if you don't want me to. But can I please watch as you stroke it?”. Your plea is desperate and you're begging the gods above to have him accept your prayer. He looks down and a deep grunt escapes his throat and you can tell he’s confused by your request. He looks into your eyes as if to say ‘how?’ and you let a small giggle escape your lips. Has he really never done it before? 

“Alright big boy, I'll show you how”. You give him a comforting smile, showing that you're not judging him. If anything, this made it even better. You grab one of his hands again and wrap it around his own dick. You see him grasping his cock and you can't help but bite your lip, being presented with the sight of his big hand wrapped around his big cock. You hold his hand with both of your hands and start to slowly stroke alongside his shaft, up and down. The skin on his cock moving with your rhythm, massaging his member. He looks into your eyes and his breathing gets heavy. Once he gets into the rhythm you created for him, you let go all together. 

He continues stroking his cock, up and down, just like you showed him. “There you go, honey”. You see his eyes narrow and fill with hunger. He starts experimenting with different speeds at his own pace and you feel proud of him. You lean back towards the wall and spread your legs. You lick your fingers while looking into his eyes and bring your fingers back to your aching clit. You resume playing with your pussy and for the moment you sit in front of each other, both of you pleasuring yourselves as you watch each other. The beast gets more and more aggressive, the new sensation had him hooked and his movements were desperate. As he’s breathlessly stroking his cock, you grab his wrist with your hand, canceling his motion. He looks at you with lust filled eyes, excited for your next move. 

You remove his hand from his dick and replace it with both your hands. You squeeze it in between your hands and admire his full size, it was beautiful but intimidating. You're stroking his cock and you feel it twitch as you move up and down, twisting, pulling and massaging it. Occasionally, you let your soft fingers circle around his tip, giving him an unreal sensation. The beast lets out groans like you've never heard before… but you weren't done here. You feel your aching and neglected cunt scream and beg to be filled. You decide it's time to finally give her what she wanted. 

You pull on his shirt and direct his back to lay against the wall. You spread your legs and hover your opening over his cock as you rest your hands on his broad and strong shoulders. He holds your waist with both hands as he watches you grab his cock and align it with your entrance. Without giving him any time to prepare for you, you sink down on his cock. Both of you release loud gasps as you’re shocked by how well his tip alone filled you, and as he feels your warm and slippery insides. You don't go all the way down, you can't go all the way down but you continue bouncing up and down his tip, getting yourself wetter and slowly stretching yourself out for him. He lets out deep groans and you love how he's letting you know exactly how he feels. As you let your entrance play with his tip you take off your shirt. He looks at your tits and you see his eyes widen. You giggle a little to yourself and guide both his hands to play with your nipples. He gets the hang of it immediately and squeezes and pulls on your nipples. He didn't know what it felt like to you but by the way you moaned louder, he knew he had to continue doing it. 

You hear the brute let out a frustrated groan, he's growing impatient with you teasing his tip and wanting to feel you all through his length. You let out a loud moan, bordering on a scream and he forces you to sit on his cock. You look into his eyes with your mouth agape, surprised by his action. You're not nearly ready for his full length and girth but he doesn't care. He pushes you all the way on his cock, forcing himself deep inside you. You feel your eyes roll to the back of your head and you go silent for a moment, trying to adjust to his size. He slowly pulls out, veeerryyy sloowwwllyyy and you feel every single inch of him as he's exiting your tight little pussy. With only a small bit of his tip still inside you, he thrusts back into you, hard and quick. You let out another scream and he lets out a deep grunt. 

After a couple pumps, he starts getting more consistent and regular with his thrusts. You're amazed by how naturally it came to him. You’re hovering over him and he forcefully bucks his hips into you, sliding in and out as the sounds of skin slapping echoes in the empty basement. “fuckkk, just like that. You're doing so good”, your voice is weak and breathless but he had to know how good this felt, how good he felt. He lets his hips rest back on the mattress and you sit all the way down on his dick. You feel full of him, his girth pressing against your tight insides. You move around a little and cup his face with your hands. He's still wearing that mask but all you see are his stunning eyes and beautiful lips. You can tell they're soft. 

As his cock is buried deep inside you, you lean in and kiss him. He's shocked and doesn't know what to do. He keeps his eyes open as he kisses you, but after seeing your closed eyes, he shuts them as well. He places his hands on your hips, squeezing it, feeling your tight pussy throb around his cock. He gets into the rhythm and you feel each other’s soft lips play with each other. You press into his face while still cupping it, your kiss gets increasingly more desperate as you start sliding up and down on his cock again. You continue riding his dick at a brutal pace, going faster and harder by the second. He helps you by pushing you down further everytime you bounce back up. You introduce your tongue to his mouth and he welcomes it, sucking and swirling it around his mouth. 

You break the kiss and press your forehead to his, not slowing down from the bouncing on his cock. “I'm so proud of you, big boy”. You smile and you look down on the base of his shaft being completely drenched with your pussy juice, and his cock pounding in and out of your soaked cunt. The pitch black hair around his balls being white because of your white cream coating it. The wet and sloppy sounds of his dick thrusting in you is filling the room, you're surprised by how it's still audible over both of your moaning, screaming and panting. The way he's pounding into you makes you question his virginity, you don't believe it, there is no way. His eyes are too confident, his thrusts are too perfect and his dick is way too good. 

He lifts you up from his cock and it makes a quiet ‘pop’ sound as his dick gets released from your pussy’s tight grip. He lays you down on the mattress and climbs on top of you. You can tell that he now knows what sex is, he knows exactly how to do it and you smile to yourself thinking of how the student has become the teacher. He slides his hands under your knee crease and let your legs fall over his broad shoulders. This way, he had a perfect view of your face as he pounds into you. He aligns his cock with your entrance and gives you a quick peck on the lips to prepare you for his cock. You smile at him, letting him know you're ready and you feel like you're about to burst. Every second without his cock inside you, was a second too long. 

The beast didn't believe in slow and steady. He wanted rough and hard and that's exactly how he entered you. As he forces his cock into you, you're shocked by how much deeper he could get from this position. You didn't know the female body could have something this deep inside her but you learn something new everyday… You lay your hands on his chest as he pounds into you and you feel your walls tighten. “F-fucckkk…I-mmm… Imma cum!!!” You can hardly breathe, let alone talk as he's deep inside you. He's making up for years of not feeling this sensation. He’s furious this feeling has been kept from him and he's channeling all that frustration into drilling his cock harder into you. You feel his cock twitch and you can tell he’s close as well. Even though he doesn't say it, you're slowly learning what his different grunts mean. The ones he's letting out right now definitely meant ‘I’m gonna cum in your tight pussy’. 

He lets out one last deep groan as he fills your pussy with his warm liquid. Continuing to pump into you to empty every single drop of himself. You moan so loud, it made your head spin and feeling his cum shoot deep inside you was a feeling unlike anything you've felt before. He slowly pulls out and you feel as the mixture of both your cum is leaking out of your abused hole. He watches as you squirm and shake from the trauma of the intense pleasure. 

He lays down next to you and you get on top of him, resting your ear to his chest, listening to his fast and irregular heartbeat. You hug his massive body and close your eyes. You lay in silence for a while, catching your breaths and soaking in each other's presence. You look up at him, giving him a passionate and soft kiss. “Thank you for saving my life”. 

credit for dividers: @y-onb @animatedglittergraphics-n-more @roseschoices <3

[graphedpaper]

Modern-Day Vampire Yandere

This is kind of crazy but after watching that tiktok about a Lyft driver claiming to have seen these attractive vampires in New Orleans I couldn't stop thinking about a realistic and modern vampire lover. I usually don't like non-human yanderes at all, but here me out plsplspls, this is what I've been fantasizing about before I fall asleep.

You two first meet when you're moving into your new apartment, near your university. When you pass him by, you admit he's attractive with his tall frame and regal aura, but nonetheless a man with an odd sense of style. Not his clothes per se, or even his hairstyle which is messy black hair tied back low, but his strange coloured contact lenses that were currant with a white-blue ring around his black pupils and, his overall vibe... it was odd. You two keep bumping into each other and his strange mannerisms are short glimpses through his charming act. He seems to have taken an interest in you, inviting you to all sorts of different outings, which you refuse because first of all, you're busy with studying, and secondly, he seems sketchy. However, he doesn't get the hint and he persistently asks you to hang out with him until you finally succumb to agreeing.

He takes you to a rave, which you've never been to. You're overwhelmed by the crowd, the lights, the loud electronic music. You cling to his toned arm as he pushes through the people to introduce you to his friends. To no one's surprise, his friends are also just as attractive as they are odd. All of them, with similar eye color to your neighbour. They comment on how much they've heard about you before you're even able to introduce yourself, to which you look at your neighbour, confused for clarification. However, the atmosphere makes it impossible to dwell on one subject for long, and you forget about it, deeming it as insignificant. You observe how all his friends aggressively flirt with the people around them, dragging them away to an unseen part of the dark space only to return without them, a euphoric expression spread upon their faces. You prudishly turn away from this sight, assuming they were getting high or hooking up for a quickie. All of them do this throughout the night, except for your neighbour, who remains next to you, his arm always protectively wrapped around your waist or shoulder.

You soon start to feel exhausted, and tell him you're going to retire for the night. His face turns into an odd expression and insists he'll leave with you. As the two of you trudge home to the apartment, one of you clearly drunker than the other, you confront him about why he invited you, and if it was out of pity that you seemed like a loner. He smiles down at you, his godly features shining in the bright streetlights of the city. He shakes his head no, and you can see his mouth moving, yet his words seem incoherent to you. His attentive gaze falls upon your inebriated state, and he scoops you up with ease, bridal style, all the way to the apartment. When he realizes you're unable to open your door, he takes you to his place, and lets you sleep in his bed for the night.

When you wake up, you realize that he carried you to his own bedroom to let you sleep, and you thank him immensely. You still feel slightly drowsy, memories hazy, and your neck is a little sore from a cut that you got in the rave, but you feel grateful to your strange neighbour for taking care of you like this.

Day by day, thoughts of him invade your mind, playing with your heart, until you realize you've developed a big old crush on him. It was so sudden and so confusing that you couldn't wrap your head around the concept. He wasn't that weird, and everything about him was just so, so, so attractive to you. His caring nature, his flirtatious yet respectful tone of voice, even his odd red eyes. Now, whenever you see him, your smiles are no longer out of amicable politeness, but a deep longing for him to notice you in the way you notice him.

Amid your own blinded attraction for him, you have no clue that your crush on him isn't one-sided, but mutual, and the fact that he's fallen for you eternally the moment he saw you moving in on that fateful first day. If you loved him the size of the ocean, he loved you the size of a thousand infinite universes. It felt like this attraction was written in the stars, pre-destined, a fate woven by the gods.

You're shyer around him, a little bashful and embarrassed, and he picks up on your obvious shift in behaviour immediately, no matter how careful you think you're being. The next time he asks you to an outing, you reject his offer, causing a pitiful expression to form on his face. When he starts to turn away from you, you hurridly grab his hand and laugh, clarifying you'd like to go somewhere with him a little more calm, and a little more private, to which his face lights up.

[grandlinedreams]

[First request! Warnings: cursing, mentions of blood/gore, body horror, death, unreality]

“Babe, check this out.”

Ace’s call makes you turn from where you’d been staring at a cloak, finding him holding something that he tosses to you for inspection. Catching it, you inspect it and find it to be a mask – made of smooth white plastic with deep, dark spaces for the eyes and a macabre, wide yawn of black for the mouth. 

“Creepy,” you remark as you toss the mask back to him. “Like a kabuki mask, but way worse. Why do they have something like that for sale?”

“Dunno,” Ace answers, still studying the mask, tugging at the stretch of black fabric that covers the back of it. “Maybe it’s for some kind of festival. This island feels like they’d enjoy something like that, you know?”

“Maybe…” You trail off. Indeed, the island that the two of you have found yourself on is undoubtedly strange – from being undetected by the log pose to the almost too friendly attitude of the townsfolk that you’ve come across, something doesn’t sit quite right with you. Or perhaps you’re just being paranoid – if there were really something wrong, Ace would have picked up on it too, right? Shaking your head, you dismiss your thoughts and step away from the high-collared cloak you’d been examining. “We should probably find somewhere to stay.”

Ace doesn’t respond, still staring at the mask. You frown, approaching to snap your fingers in front of his face and he jolts, jerking back as if scalded. “Huh?”

“I said we should find somewhere to stay,” you repeat, studying your boyfriend’s expression with mounting concern. “Are you feeling okay?” 

“Yeah,” Ace answers, and you don’t miss the way his gaze drifts back to the mask for a moment. “Just – yeah. Let’s go find somewhere to stay, okay? And something to eat.” 

There’s the boyfriend you know and love – thinking with his stomach. You roll your eyes fondly, grateful when Ace finally lets go of the strange mask in favor of hooking his arm around your shoulders. Without the presence of prying eyes and people who recognize you, affection is easier, and you lean into his embrace. 

Though the strange behavior from him is forgotten by the time you find accommodations for the night, the sense of unease about the island has returned, even as you watch Ace dig into the food before him with his usual gusto. It takes him a minute to realize that you aren’t eating, and he looks up. “Something wrong? Do you feel sick?”

“No,” you answer, though you set your fork down and lean back in the chair with a sigh. “Doesn’t this island just feel…off to you? I mean, the log pose didn’t even pick it up.” You gesture to the cuff around his wrist. “Is it still acting weird?”

Ace glances down at it, watching the shuddering spin of the needle with a frown as he swallows the food in his mouth. “It’s not the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen,” he says, “and besides, the grandline is full of odd things.”

He has a point, but the sinking feeling of wrong won’t dissipate. “I don’t like this,” you say, brow furrowing. “Not one bit.” 

“You worry too much.”

“You don’t worry enough,” you counter, and Ace grins before his expression sobers. 

“I agree that this place feels weird, but–” He pauses as a smiling waitress sets down another wide platter of plates laden with steaming food, “it’s probably nothing. Just try to relax, okay? We’ll leave in the morning, and hopefully the log pose will have reset by then.”

Maybe you are being too paranoid, too accustomed to watching over your shoulder wherever you go, mindful of who you talk to and what you say for fear of inciting the Marine presence – but no matter how hard you try to buy into Ace’s reassurance, the unsettling feeling just won’t let up. 

No longer able to stomach the idea of eating food, you scoot back and stand, Ace’s eyes following you. “I’m going to go explore a little more,” you say, “meet up with you in a little bit, okay?”

Swallowing another mouthful of food, Ace thumps his fist against his chest and exhales before he gives you a look of concern. “Just be careful,” he tells you, and you hope the smile you offer conveys confidence you don’t quite feel.

“I will, don’t worry.”

The sun has begun to set by the time you make it back into the center of town, the sky a melted blend of pastels that’s admittedly beautiful. Maybe Ace really is right – your paranoia has gotten the better of you, imagining problems where there are none. 

You still as the unmistakable chill of being watched washes over you, tensing as you place a preemptive hand on the pistol at your hip. Training kicks in as you force yourself to resume walking, listening for signs of a presence other than your own. 

Cold sweat beads at your temple as you force yourself not to spook at the skitter of rock beneath your feet, gaze carefully sweeping from side to side as you move to turn the corner – and come to an abrupt halt as the sick-sweet smell of rotting fruit reaches your nose.

It’s nauseating as you move to cover your mouth, searching for the source – an overturned trash can perhaps, a forgotten basket, groceries gone bad before they could be eaten. It’s a handful of steps before you spot the culprit – indeed, an overturned trash can, black plastic bags spilling their contents onto the ground. Half-eaten apples, strawberries white with mold, and –

Your stomach lurches. 

The skyward jut of bloodied fingers, poking out of another bag that flies cluster around in dark, buzzing clouds. You know that smell too, of sun warmed blood and the bloat of decay – 

Ace. You should go get Ace, figure out what to do, come up with a plan – you move forward, aware of the staccato beat of your heart in your ears as you approach the trash bag for a morbid inspection.

Nudging the mouth of it open further, your stomach finally gives a hard rejection, the swell of saliva the only warning you get before you’re forced to lurch away, hands and knees slamming against the ground hard as you vomit. 

Your stomach doesn’t let up until you’re retching around nothing, gasping raggedly as your mind finally catches up with what you’ve just seen. A corpse, but not just any corpse – the face of the waitress who’d dropped off food to your table less than an hour ago, her eyes foggy and unseeing, coagulated blood at her hairline and lips. But how? There’s no way she could have been killed and look like that in under an hour – your stomach rolls again and you press the back of your fist to your mouth.

Something is very, very wrong with this island, this town – 

Ace. You need to get him and get the hell out of here. Adrenaline filters through your veins as you scramble to your feet and turn, darting back in the direction that you’d come from. You don’t miss how the sky has darkened considerably, that most windows are dark now – snuffed out like candle flame and mocking you with the distortion of your own pale, frightened form as you dart past. 

‘Gotta get out of here,’ you think, ‘even if it’s just to the other side of this fucking island–’

You collide with someone, hard. You let out a startled noise as you stagger back, correcting your balance and looking up, a reflexive apology on your tongue before relief floods you as you find yourself staring at your boyfriend’s back. “Ace,” you say, relief clear in your tone, “we need to get out of here, I just found–” You stop, realizing that he hasn’t turned to look at you. “...Ace?”

He finally shifts to turn towards you at the same time that you realize the back of his head is covered by black, gauzy fabric – and the dying sun gleams off of smooth, white plastic as your stomach drops. 

It’s that fucking mask from the store. 

“Ace,” you begin shakily, “take that off and listen to me, okay? I was right about this island, something is seriously wrong here, I just saw our waitress’ dismembered corpse in a trash can–” You pause, scowling as Ace’s head only tilts. “Aren’t you listening? I said to take that stupid thing off.”

You reach to yank it off, only for him to catch your wrist before you can touch it. There are a thousand situations you’ve been in where Ace has grabbed your wrist like this, but never has he gripped it so hard – hard enough to bruise, hard enough for it to hurt. 

“Ace,” you snap, struggling to free your hand. “Let go of me!” 

His head only tilts further, the tip of the mask now at an unnatural angle with the length of it – and you struggle harder as his other hand slips down to the leather sheath of his dagger. What is wrong with him? Surely he isn’t going to do what you think he is – there’s the flash of dying sun against gleaming silver, and your eyes widen. 

“Ace, no!” Your shriek is desperate as you finally wrench yourself free of his grip in time to avoid the upward arc of the blade, stumbling backwards before you turn on your heel and bolt. You almost half expect him to pull ahead of you in a whirlwind of flame, but he doesn’t – and when you chance a glance back, he’s still standing there, knife in hand. 

Your mind races as you duck into an alley, back pressed against rough stone as you try to catch your breath. What the hell is going on? That can’t possibly be your boyfriend – he’d never raise a hand against you, let alone a blade – had something happened to him while you were gone? Poison? No – mind control? Another devil fruit user? 

Above your harsh breathing, you can hear something – and you jolt as you realize it’s your name, being called in a childish sing-song. “Where are youuuuu~ Come out and play~” 

You clap a hand over your mouth and tuck yourself further into the alley, eyes narrowing as you watch the opening, reaching for your pistol once more. The idea of using it against your boyfriend makes you feel sick – but you can’t just let him kill you.

Ace moves to pass the alley way and you slink closer as quietly as you can, waiting until his back is to you to lunge forward, just as he turns. You collide, momentum sending you both to the ground – but you aren’t fast enough to pin his arms properly, the flash of silver the only warning you get before he’s sinking the dagger deep into your shoulder.

Blinding pain sears through you and you bite back a scream, struggling to swipe at the mask on his face. “This isn’t you,” you manage, fingertips hooking around white plastic. “Ace, you don’t have to do this–”

The mask comes free. Though the shock of black hair is Ace’s, the face that stares back at you is not your boyfriend’s. It’s a comical caricature made from the stuff of nightmares – dark, hollow holes where his eyes should be, a wide, gaping maw of black where you’re so used to seeing his bright, dazzling smile. 

“What –” Your voice falters. “What are you? What did you do with Ace? Tell me, right now! Tell me what you did with him!” 

Whoever – or whatever is wearing Ace’s face laughs. It’s far from his laugh, cruel and mocking as it twists the blade into your shoulder, using your recoil to its advantage as you find yourself pressed into the ground, the horrible thing above you. 

“I killed him,” it rasps, voice unholy and making you want to do nothing more than to get away from it, though your efforts are greatly hindered by the amount of blood you’re losing, making your head spin and your limbs heavy. “And now I’m going to kill you.”

Helpless. You’ve never been so helpless against an enemy, unable to do much but writhe in pain and fear as the creature pulls the knife free, bringing it up to its wide, gaping mouth – and dragging a black, rotted tongue against the smear of bright red blood. It leans over you, reeking of rotten flesh and wet earth. 

“You never should have come here,” it taunts you. “This island has become your demise, as so many before you.” There’s hard pressure at your throat, tight and making it impossible to breathe, sending your head spinning further and your vision darkening at the edges. So this is it, this is how you die –

“Wake up!” 

The cry is sharp, familiar – and you lurch upright with a gasp, eyes wide and wild as you turn to find Ace watching you, his expression one of unfiltered concern. “There we go,” he says, “hiya, sleeping beauty.”

You stare for a long moment, becoming aware of the warmth of the sun on your cheeks, the soft grit of sand beneath your hands – you’re on a beach, Ace’s striker bobbing just a few feet away. Overhead, there’s the distant call of birdsong, high and sweet. 

“Ace…” You lurch forward, his startled yelp of surprise in your ears as you latch onto him, arms locked tight around him as you tuck your face into his neck. “You’re okay.” 

“Yeah,” Ace answers, “I’m perfectly fine. You’re the one I should be worried about.” His arms wind around you. “I went to take a look around here and when I came back, you were out cold in the sand. I thought somebody attacked you.” There’s audible relief in his tone, though he stills when he hears you sniffle. “Hey, hey, you okay? What happened?” 

You press yourself further into him as much as physical limitation will allow, soothing your frayed nerves with the steady thump of his heartbeat. “Nothing,” you finally mutter. “Just a nightmare.”

[kodared]

Hello, u do requests for WH? If so!

Can I request a angst Howdy x gn!reader? U can add sum fluff at the end if u like!

I would be more than happy to !! I run this Blog to take Requests and Oneshot suggestions on the side while I work on my Ao3 Chapters! 

(to keep yall tame….) /j 

So heres a good and Angsty 

Howdy x gn!Reader 

- Angst/Comfort

Word Count: 1682 !!CONTENT WARNING FOR BRIEF MENTIONS OF BLOOD!!

—--------------------------------

The day started as all days did with you and Howdy, he would open and run the front of his store while you went out in search of various flowers to decorate and sell. You found yourself adjusting to the abnormal life quicker than you would have imagined, If you went back and told your past self,

“Hey! Prepare to live with puppets the rest of your life!”

…You probably would have admitted yourself to a mental ward, the thought making you giggle as you carefully picked at a patch of babies breath you had found. The human mind worked in marvellous, but interesting ways you supposed, the thought leaving as soon as it entered though and before long you found yourself gathering your collection for the day and beginning the trek “home”. 

Howdy was kind enough to offer you a home in his shop when you first arrived, and you quickly grew to like the bug even if he had his weird habits and hobbies, they charmed you. 

He had expressed how he enjoyed cooking but had no one to share the food with, it being hard to eat at all as a puppet, so you took on the role of taste tester and since then had been helping Howdy at any chance you could. 

With the town drawing closer as you walked, you thought about what you would both cook tonight, the thought of being able to guide Howdy as he cooked making you feel a sense of comfort you often felt when thinking of him. 

The shop sign was still flipped to its usual “Open”, so as you entered you flipped it to finally say you were closed for the day, If it wasn't for you flipping that sign Howdy would never get any rest you supposed. 

…

      … And this only cemented itself when you saw him asleep on the counter, passed out cold. 

He unlike you had no need to eat or even drink, so without thinking you went into the downstairs home you and Howdy shared to grab a blanket, ideally letting him get his much-needed rest. 

After covering him with his favourite blanket, you went back downstairs to organize the Flowers you found into a neat bouquet, Howdy always loved when you made him one custom. 

With a day's work completed you turned in for the night, not without of course going back upstairs to check on Howdy, giving him a light shake to tell him it was time for bed. 

“Mmhg. How..?”

You knew what he was going to ask, the poor man never wanted to give himself a break,

“You’ve been asleep for a few hours now Howd’s, Dont worry I already flipped the sign,”

You expected his face to go back on the counter as it usually did, often times you had to beg him to come to the actual bed.  …But this time his eyebrows creased with worry and his mouth dropped its usual grin, 

“What time is it?!”  

He used both sets of hands to push himself up and off his counter, stumbling upright, barely missing the shelf behind him with his head,

“It's about 10 o'clock at night now Howd’s, what's got you so twisted up?!” 

Your voice was laced with genuine concern as Howdy just shook his head and tried to smooth down his hair, seemingly preparing himself to be seen by others,

“No! Im gonna be late for Poppys Party! I promised her I would bring a cake!”

You had moved your hand to rest on his shoulder reassuringly.. 

  “Howdy, you are tired, im sure Poppy would understand if-” 

…before he hit it off and walked swiftly to the cooler connected to the wall, 

“I need to be there Y/N! Im gonna be late as it is, you might not be neighbourly enough to understand why I need to be there but Poppy is!” 

The look he gave you struck a cold metal spike through your heart as he continued,

“Maybe you would understand better if you actually socialized with them.” 

At that final remark, he left, the chimes on the door dinging loudly as his second hand pulled it shut behind him. 

…You felt like you just messed up big time, even though you were just looking out for his health. 

You knew Howdy wanted you to talk and meet the other neighbours, it was just hard. Being a human in a puppet world doesn't exactly lead to the most pleasant small talk, Howdy was the only one who understood this and made sure you didn't feel pressured to talk to them, 

Until now you guessed. 

Without much else to do you resigned yourself to an unrestful sleep full of tossing and turning, the space Howdy usually occupied feeling cold and empty in the dark room. Your heart ached for him to return, but as the grandfather clock strikes signifying it was now 2 am, you didn't think he was coming home anytime soon. 

—--------------------------------

…Howdy had not returned the next morning either, leaving you to make breakfast alone in your pyjamas. He normally would be the one opening the shop bright and early, but seeing as he wasn't here you wondered if it was your place to do so anymore,

…Or if he even wanted you around. 

The knife you were once using to chop onions sliced into your finger after you had that thought, drawing you back to reality. 

You felt endlessly stupid as you ran it under the sink water, you couldn't even cook breakfast right without Howdy here. That chilling feeling of panic burrowed and stayed deep under your skin, in your free hand you picked at your nails. A habit you once kicked coming back in full swing. 

You had finally made the decision to leave Howdy alone after sitting on the couch for a few minutes as the cut stopped bleeding, you didn't want to burden him after all. 

With not many items to your name, it didn't take long to gather them all together in a small tote bag you found lying around, However, as you began walking up the stairs to leave, one thing caught your eye. 

The bouquet you made Howdy still sat on the coffee table, untouched from the day prior. Tears gathered in your eyes as you remembered Howdy receiving the flowers you would bundle for him, he would dry them and hang them in the shared bedroom. 

It was only fitting to leave them you supposed as you left, the sun rising in the sky painting it a lovely orange as you left for the forest, chills wracking through your frame as you felt tears chilling your cheeks. 

Little did you know however Howdy had confided in Poppy what had happened the previous night before, with Poppy offering him a solution. 

—--------------------------------

As Howdy returned home after a long night of baking with Poppy, he was shocked to see his sign wasn't flipped to its usual Opening position, he had assumed Y/N would have been up by now, 

He supposed it only made the surprise all the better as he walked through and made his way down the steps.

Only to find you were nowhere to be found. 

He had searched high and low for you, you weren't in the bathroom or the bedroom, or even in the kitchen, though one thing did catch his eyes. 

The red stain on the cutting board with an abandoned plate of onions sitting beside it. 

The red flags immediately went off in his brain, his upper set of hands clutching firmly on his antennae as he anxiously set down the cookies he baked and ran upstairs. What if you were injured and he didn't know? What if someone had come in and harmed you?? 

He knew he should have stayed home. You were right, and you always were when it came to his well-being. 

The eye bags that were under your eyes the night he yelled at you were permanently etched into his vision. He couldn't sleep knowing he hurt you, yet he still stayed away. 

He was a dumb bug and knew he didn't deserve you. As he collapsed outside of his shop it was only cemented how useless he was to you. He couldn't even protect you from himself, he had to go and mess up the one good thing he had. 

—--------------------------------

Additional comfort for people who enjoy comfort after angst! 

You hadn't made it far into the woods before you slipped on a particularly slippery rock in the river and scraped your knee all up to hell. The sight of the blood made you dizzy as you stood and walked out, you knew you had to head home, you had tried to escape the neighbourhood many times. 

All of which led you to walk in circles, so you knew it was pointless. 

The previous adrenaline and self-doubts seemed to have been washed away after you scraped your knee, your mind felt clearer than ever and ready to confront what happened with Howdy the night before, 

You just hoped he was home already, you missed the big dork in the Shop. 

As you approached Howdys store you couldn't help but shake the sounds of�� Sobbing? Coming from the side where your flowers were located, 

And it sounded awfully familiar to your favourite dork. 

“Howdy?” 

The crying stopped for a moment before you heard frantic shuffling and the sound of someone falling and rising again, as if they tripped on their own feet. 

“Y/N! Your okay!” 

You were met with Howdy gathering you up in his arms and pulling you in for the tightest hug imaginable, All four of his arms moving to support your arms and legs as he held you. 

“I.. I was so worried, i didn't know where you went and i saw the blood, i don't know-” 

Words tumbled out of his mouth rapidly as he held you, you found yourself saying nothing as you just held him back and consoled him, 

You both were going to be alright after all. 

------------------------

As Always my Request box is open for anything your heart desires! Turnaround time is a week so please be patient!

~ Till next time ／ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ／

[builtbybrokenbells]

belladonna | iii (pt. 2)

too beautiful to resist, and too deadly to survive; the tragic tale of belladonna in all its glory.

masterlist | taglist

Pairing: Danny Wagner x f!reader, f!reader x OC

Word count: 21k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, sorta rough sex, oral (f!receiving), fingering (f!receiving), dirty talk, slight dom/sub, slight brat/brat tamer dynamic, praise, multiple orgasms, mentions of orgasm denial, degradation, name calling, pet names, biting, mentions of toxic/abusive parents, mentions of/toxic relationships/emotionally abusive relationships, mentions of criminal activity/criminal records, poverty, mentions of homelessness, mentions of physical violence, mentions of blood, mentions of AA/NA, NA meetings, heavy descriptions of addictions, use of/mentions of drugs, mentions of relapsing, mentions of OD, mentions of drinking, painful amount of flirting, mentions of hookups/sex, smoking, depression/anxiety, mental health struggles, swearing, sorry if I miss any!!

my favourite part so far 😁 finally some confidence from the two lovebirds. as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🤍

You had never felt so good. You had never felt so alive. You wondered, if his company felt so rewarding even after such a short period of time, what would months feel like with your heart and soul entangled in his. For once, the unknown was exciting rather than paralyzing. As gravity pulled you closer, you began to believe that you could live in the unknown with Danny until the end of time, and it would be inexplicably better than existing within the known without him by your side. He was so close, and it was hard not to jump. You wanted everything all at once, but savoring him seemed like the only option. His lips were nearly brushing against your own, and despite your earlier efforts at shoving the feelings away, you needed him to close the gap between you. You needed it like water, but you were so parched that you couldn’t speak the words nor go in search of it yourself.

You knew how foolish it was to leave your fate in the hands of another, but for once, not even your own psyche seemed to be able to ruin the moment for you.

“Hey, guys. I’m gonna take Rose outside, seems like—oh… sorry.” Sam’s voice cut through the static silence in the room, causing you to immediately shy away from Danny. You peeked at Sam, mostly hiding behind the boy standing before you. Your cheeks were crimson, incriminating you further. Danny dropped his hand to your arm, giving it a gentle squeeze of reassurance as he noticed the look on your face. Then, he turned to face his best friend, giving him a smile but shooting daggers with his eyes.

“Sure thing, we’ll meet you out there.” He said, keeping his tone light so you wouldn’t notice his upset. Sam gave a sympathetic look, mouthing another ‘I’m sorry’ at him before he backed out of the room. Danny stayed in the position for a moment, almost too embarrassed to look back in your direction. His hand was still on your arm, sending shivers down your spine while you hoped things would not become weird between you two. “Sorry, y/n.” Danny said, finally managing to place his fear to the side as he turned to look back at you.

“No, don’t be sorry.” You shook your head. “Really, it’s okay.” You wanted to tell him how badly you wanted it, to express your desire to follow through with the earlier idea, but you could not force the words out of your mouth. You hoped that he could see it in your eyes, that if he looked hard enough he could understand exactly how you were feeling without you having to say anything at all. He studied your expression for a moment, a small smile crossing his lips as he nodded. He understood, and because he understood so well, he didn’t feel the need to force you to say it.

“You wanna get going? We can head to that park you were talking about?” He offered, knowing that a change in environment might help you to forget about the lingering embarrassment.

“Yeah, that sounds good to me.” You nodded. He gave you another smile, one that was more reassuring than the last. He made a move to step away, but you reached out and grabbed his hand to hold him in place. “Wait.” You said, your stomach taken over by a nervous flutter.

“What’s up, Utah?” He asked, looking down at your hand in his. He didn’t need to say it for you to know that he also believed it felt right.

“What’s your favorite color?” You asked. He cocked his head to the side, but the smile remained on his lips.

“Yellow or orange, I guess. Reminds me of summer.” How fucking fitting that his favourite colour was the same colour as the sun. To you, he was the sun. Bright and beautiful, warm and inviting, but dangerous if you got too close or stayed near without any protection. “Why?”

“I was just… curious, I guess.” You said, feeling stupid for asking such a childish question.

“What’s yours?”

“Purple.” You replied without hesitation. “Every shade.” You clarified. “What’s your middle name?”

“Robert.” He chuckled. “You want to know me better or something?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Is it a crime?”

“No,” he shook his head, unable to express how happy he was that you cared to ask the questions at all. “When’s your birthday?”

“June 28th.” You grinned. “You?”

“December 29th.” He said, holding on to your hand a little tighter.

“Favorite album?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. “Careful, now. This might be a dealbreaker.”

“That’s a tough one.” He sighed, noticing you making a move towards the door. He followed, still holding your hand in his. “Harvest was a good choice. I’ve always been a fan of Neil Young. Rumors is obviously another good choice.”

“Cop out answers.” You scoffed, teasing him as you led him to the main door of the building.

“What?” He asked, laughing as you brought him outside. “You said Harvest, did you not?”

“I did.” You nodded, your smile beginning to hurt your cheeks. “So that would make you a bit of a copycat, hmm?”

“Zeppelin III, then?” You thought about it for a moment, then eventually gave a nod of your head.

“I’ll accept it.”

“Thank you, I guess?” He opened the passenger door for you as he spoke, making your blush return to your cheeks with full force.

“You’re welcome.” As you climbed in, you saw Sam walking back over to the car. Rose was pulling on her leash, stopping to inspect every growing weed and yellow dandelion as they passed by. Spring was coming with full force, and Rosie was not the only one enjoying the season change. Danny closed the door as you settled in, catching Sam in a small conversation as he made a move towards the backseat. You didn’t have enough energy to read their lips as they spoke, and you definitely didn’t care to dwell on Sam’s apologetic expression as your phone began to ring in your pocket.

You grabbed it, looking quickly at the contact and feeling your whole body food with dread. John was calling, and for once in your entire life, you could not bear the thought of going in early. Before answering, you looked out the window, catching sight of Danny’s side profile. The sight was so beautiful that you couldn’t fathom the idea of walking away from it if you did not have to. Being with him made you happier than you had been since you moved to the city, and it was a feeling you weren’t comfortable letting go of just yet.

Then, you were pulled back to reality for a moment. You looked back down at the phone in your hands, realizing that you had not known Danny for long enough to choose him over OT pay at the diner. Logically speaking, the extra four hours of work you would get paid for could go towards an extra grocery bill you usually could not afford, or more importantly, two packs of cigarettes to enjoy. Four hours of work and a hangout cut short seemed like a fair trade for the luxury of smoking as many cigarettes as your heart desired rather than smoking them halfway to make it to the next payday.

You stopped your train of thought, looking away from your phone and out the front windshield.

Were you really comparing a living human being to a pack of Marlboro Reds?

You feared that you lost your humanity, trading human connection with substance in an attempt to protect your heart. After your relentless heartbreaks from Vincent, you were stingy when it came to handing pieces of yourself to others. It was understandable to feel such a way, but absolutely not to feel such a blatant lack of regard for others. You looked back out the window, lingering over Danny’s smiling face for a moment while he conversed with Sam, wondering how you could ever feel such a way about him in particular. He was worth more than a thousand packs of cigarettes, and made you feel a million times more in an hour than a cigarette ever could.

The ringing ceased, making you look back at your phone. You had been deliberating so long that John had hung up the call. “Shit.” You muttered to yourself, unlocking your screen to call him back. Before you could, it was already ringing again with another incoming call. You did not hesitate to accept it, pressing the phone to your ear as you thought out an apology for not answering the first time. “Hey, John.”

“Hey, darlin’.” He said, stress clearly laced within his tone. Suddenly, you were plagued with guilt at just the thought of declining the extra hours. Never once had you turned him down when he asked you to help, and the more you thought of it, the more you realized that he depended on your extra hours just as much as you did. The whole situation was conflicting and cofusing, mostly because you had never been in a position where taking extra hours was a conflict of interest. “Sorry if I woke ya’.”

“No, no, you’re okay.” You assured him. “Did you need me to come in?” He let out a long chuckle, and you could hear him rubbing his chin in his hand through the speaker.

“No, actually. For once, that’s not why I’m calling.” Your stomach dropped, hoping that he was not calling for an even worse reason. You had never done anything bad enough to make him question your employment, but every time he called and seemed to be in a poor mood, you feared he might fire you. The last thing you needed was to lose your only source of income, especially when you were already poor and struggling to survive. It would be a one way ticket back to Utah, where your mother would forever hold it against you with reiterations of ‘I told you so’ and ‘I knew you wouldn’t make it’.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, what isn’t wrong when it comes to this place?” He asked, exhaling a long sigh. “Don’t worry about coming in tonight. Pipe burst in the kitchen this morning, and the plumbers won’t be able to fix it until tomorrow. Took us about an hour to get it under control, so it’s a mess in here.”

“Oh, shit.” You sympathized, breaking your concentration for a moment when you heard the car doors open and the boys get inside. “Did you need an extra hand? ‘Cause I can come in and help clean.” You offered, hoping he would say no yet too nice not to extend the offer.

“No, honey, that’s alright.” He chuckled, stunned at your eagerness to go in early. “Dylan and Vincent came in to help out. We’re trying to make the dining room into a dining room again,” he paused. “Right now, looks more like a swimming pool. You take the day, and I’ll let you know how it’s looking tomorrow.”

“If you’re sure.” You said, hesitant to accept it.

“Positive.” He affirmed. “Enjoy your day, darlin’.”

“Thanks John. If you need an extra hand, just call.”

“You know I will.” He sighed. After that a few seconds of awkward silence ensued, and just as he ended the call, you could recognize Vincent’s voice in the background, presumably yelling at Dylan for something so minor he’d forget about it as soon as the words left his lips. Your stomach sank at the sound and you glanced at Danny through the corner of your eye, feeling a flash of remorse for Vincent who had no idea what you were up to.

Even if you did not want to be with him—no, could not be with him, breaking his heart was not something you were happy about, and you knew that if he had any idea what you were up to, heartbreak would be the only thing he felt.

“Don’t tell me you have to head into work?” Danny asked, a smile on his face but disappointment was shining in his eyes.

“No, actually.” You chuckled, shaking your head. “Don’t have to go in at all. Pipe burst in the kitchen, so they closed the place down ‘til a plumber could take a look at it.”

“So you’re free for the rest of the day, then?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Seems so.” You grinned. “Want to check out the park?”

“Lead the way, Utah.” He said, relaxing back into his seat. You reached to the cup holders between the two of you, grabbing one of the candies. You stuck the wrapper in your pocket and popped the little ball in your mouth, squeezing your eyes shut immediately. The sour sensation spread across your tongue, making your mouth water. The sudden shock of the bitter coating immediately seemed to restart your brain; Vincent was a far away thought, as were all of the things that came along with it. After a few seconds, you pointed your finger in the direction that would lead you to the park, and he followed without another word.

You watched him as he turned on the moderately busy street, focusing specifically on the large hand wrapped around the steering wheel and his elbow nestled comfortably on the door. His other hand, seemingly not knowing where else to go, was resting on his leg while his fingers tapped a small beat into the denim of his jeans. For a split second, you found yourself in a daydream, wondering how it would feel if he reached across the vehicle and rested his hand on your thigh instead. The feeling of his palm draped carefully over the limb, his fingers resting just barely on the inside of it. You imagined the warmth his skin would cast over your naturally cold body, and the strength behind the action, even if he aimed to remain gentle. The more you dreamed of it, the more you wanted it, even if you felt ridiculous about it.

You tried to make yourself believe he didn’t want you in such a way, but the moment you shared surrounded by records that told love stories similar to your own forced you to believe otherwise. Every now and again, you caught him glancing over at you, the sunglasses failing to conceal the sneaky looks. The smile that blossomed on his lips was breathtaking, and it grew even further when you hummed along to a song on his playlist, or when you laughed at a joke Sam spewed from the backseat. There was a twinkle of adoration on his expression when you turned around in your seat, just as willing to give Rose the love she was desperately searching for. You wanted to believe he was looking for a friend, but it was easier to accept that he thought of you the same way you dreamed about him. The only difference was that he allowed himself to feel such things in blatant consciousness, whilst you did all you could to block it out only to succumb to the feelings during deep sleep.

He was a person who was capable of love and being in love, but you were only capable of breaking and losing. He had the skills and ability to make something beautiful, and you only had enough skill to turn a beautiful thing ugly. You’d been so good at it your entire life that it was harder to believe that you could change than it was to live with it, and it killed you to know that you could not offer him all he could offer you.

“Take a left up here, and there’s a big empty lot. You can just park there.” You explained, trying to hide the strain in your voice as you pulled yourself from the wretched thoughts. Your own mind was your worst enemy, constantly pulling you down and holding you back, even when there was nothing to be upset about. Danny hummed an agreement, carefully following your instructions. Within moments, you were stagnant in the aforementioned lot and Rose was nearly breaking down the door to get outside.

The three of you tumbled out of the vehicle and back into the crisp spring air. As soon as the sun hit your face, uninterrupted by any barriers, you felt a weight lift off your shoulders. Danny gave you a smile, walking to join you as Sam tightened the leash in his hand. The smile on both of their faces made you want to smile, too.

So you did, blinding and dazzling as you sprung forward, leading the way for the other two. It didn’t matter if it was partially fake, because you knew that with time, it could become genuine. You slipped the small energy drink in one of your large pockets and the bag of candy in the other as you walked. Somewhere between the parking lot and the gated entrance to the park, Danny’s hand landed on your lower back. It was weary on his part, as if he was afraid you would recoil, but it was more than welcome. It made you pause your previous dread for a moment and wonder if life could genuinely be so simple, or if you were just exceptionally good at finding every possible way to over complicate things.

“Sometimes things are just as simple as apple juice, y/n, not the big complicated mess that you try and turn everything into.” Liam’s words bounced against your skull, louder each time the memory rang. He was right, and you had a terrible habit of making things so much harder than they needed to be. He had meant it in the sense of your addiction, but as you had come to realize, your addiction was the biggest part of your life, inevitable who you were down to the core. His words applied to you as a whole, rather than a specific topic at the time. Perhaps the NA meeting served a further purpose than just keeping you sober, and Liam’s (mostly) unsolicited advice stretched far beyond your usual troubles. Sometimes, and specifically this time, it was just apple juice.

You didn’t need to keep Danny at a distance, nor did you need to push him away. At the same time, you were not required to tell him your life’s story right then and there. You could simply enjoy the moment without ever having to worry about it, because for now, it was all that mattered. You were wasting your energy wondering how to explain NA meetings and your messy parental relationships, because there was no need to tell him such things right away. You could worry about those bridges when it was time to cross them, and as you located the old swing set with park benches placed neatly beside them, there was no bridge in sight.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Danny asked, snagging the opportunity of alone time while Sam was led in the opposite direction by the curious dog. You looked over at him, smiles still lingering on your faces as you sat down on the mostly dry park bench.

“Not worth a penny, I don’t think.” You replied, happy he chose to sit closer than he needed to.

“Agree to disagree?” He asked, watching as you pulled one foot up under your knee, making yourself at home on the bench. The sight was wondrous to him, making him realize that no matter the circumstance or condition, you could make it comfortable and more importantly, inviting.

“Sure.” You chuckled, reaching in your pocket and grabbing one of the double chocolate muffins you had been dreaming about all morning. “I guess… just pondering. I do that a lot.” He relaxed back into the wooden bench, laughing to himself at your choice of words. “Must be a writer thing.” You shrugged.

“And this pondering happens to be about…?”

“You,” you answered, honest enough. “And how things don’t always have to be complicated.”

“By that you mean, like, us?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I’ve got a really good way of making things way more difficult than they have to be. Like right now, we’re sitting on a bench, sharing a muffin?” You posed the words like a question, simultaneously extending the muffin towards him. He looked to your hand, then back at your face, then at the muffin again. There was an amused expression on his pretty face, making it incredibly hard not to stare.

“We are.” He agreed, reaching forward and breaking off a piece of the baked good.

“And that’s just that.” You shrugged. “Just two people, sharing a muffin on a park bench.”

“As opposed to?” You laughed, finally giving in and catching his eye. The sight seemed to take your breath away, but you tried not to let it deter you from the topic at hand.

“As opposed to two people who almost kissed at a record store, and the girl being so nervous about it that she’s making herself sick. As opposed to a waitress who spends all night wondering if that cute guy she met at work likes her back, because she really likes him and it would fucking suck if he didn’t.” You explained, finding the light in his eyes shine a bit brighter as he listened. “But it’s never that serious. We’re just two people, sharing a muffin, watching their friend get dragged around a park by his dog.” At that, he let out a real laugh. It echoed through the empty air, rivaling the beauty of the birds chirping and the wind singing hymns. In an instant, the sound of his joy became more important than two people sharing a muffin, and much more important than an almost-kiss in a record store. It was everything, and you wished to hear it all of the time. If it were possible, you would shrink to microscopic size, riding through the air within the sound waves of the most entrancing sound on earth for eternity.

“We are,” he agreed, nodding at your sentiments. It was a statement the two of you seemed to be bouncing back and fourth between each other, but it didn’t matter that it was futile and lacking substance, because he was the person saying it. You would hang on every word and faint whisper until your insanity took hold. He looked down at you, his long lashes casting a shadow over his sharp cheeks. You met his gaze, craning your head upwards to meditate the height difference. “But I think we’re also two people who almost kissed in a record store, and a beautiful waitress who’s insane for thinking that guy in the booth was cute.”

“We are.” You agreed, strikingly similar to how he did moments before. You wanted to disagree with his last point, yet you didn’t have the strength. His stare was too powerful, taking over every aspect of your life and holding you hostage in the moment.

“I don’t think she needs to worry herself sick, though. She also does not need to wonder if he likes her, too.” You let out a small hum at his words, barely noticeable, but a response nonetheless. In an instant, you became the two people at the record store once more, but this time you were atop a park bench, muffin in hand.

“I guess we’re still those people at the record store.” You said, your voice barely above a whisper. The closeness of his face to yours was much less scary than the last time, and you had more confidence when you thought about leaning forward and closing the gap between you.

“We’re also two people on a park bench, sharing a muffin.” He said, making sure you knew he wasn’t trying to prove you wrong. It was almost strange, how he was so cautious with his words so he did not give you the wrong impression. He cared, and he cared more than anyone ever had. Your words were important to him, as well as your heart. He didn’t want to cause any hurt, but rather add to your current state of content. You felt his arm around you, resting on the back of the wooden plank, yet closing in around you further the longer you sat there. It felt good. It felt right.

It was funny how twenty three years of consistently feeling wrong suddenly disappeared, and all it took was a single smile from a curly headed boy tucked neatly into a corner booth at the Fox.

You didn’t believe in fate, but you were certain this was the closest you could get to it without submitting to the feeble idea.

“We’re a million different versions of ourselves all at once. I think it’s pretty cool.” As much as it was true, you wished you could learn when it was time to stop talking, because you knew that sharing philosophy anecdotes was not the best way to pass your time. Not with his heavy-lidded eyes staring into your soul, and especially not with his gentle touch lingering barely over your shoulder. Definitely not when his lips were so close to yours, tempting you further the longer he remained in place.

“Do you think every version of us eventually ends up on a park bench, sharing a muffin?” He asked, clearly unbothered by your nervous rambling as he continued on with the same conversation. In his mind, kissing you came second to talking, as he could spend hours listening to ramblings coming from the deepest depths of your mind. He wanted to kiss you, but not nearly as much as he wanted to hear what you had to say.

“Fuck no,” you giggled, your mouth upturning into a smile. He was so close to you that the motion nearly made your lips brush his, but it did not make him move away. He noticed the corners of your eyes crinkle as you did so, drawing his attention to the freckles dusted like constellations on your tired skin. The hue of sleep deprivation painted your under eyes, and the threat of a blush pulled the picture together in perfect harmony. “I’m sure at least three versions of me suck.”

“Me, too.” He agreed, smiling as he watched you notice the same details on his face. “But even the worst versions of me think that you’re the prettiest girl he’s ever seen.”

“Does every version of you have the same cheesy pickup lines?”

“They wish.” He scoffed lightly. The both of you fell into a laugh, making the act of kissing that much more simple.

His arm resting on the back of the bench slid forward, wrapping around you with little force but ample amounts of energy. Your entire body felt abuzz with emotion as his hand cupped around your upper arm, pulling you closer into him. With a laugh still stuck between your teeth, he brought his other hand to your cheek, similar to how he was holding you at the record store, yet much more comfortable. In an instant, you understood that all of your earlier fears were pointless, because the feeling of his lips meeting yours was much more extraordinary than anything you’d ever felt before.

The tips of his fingers laced in the strands of hair covering your ear, the sweet touch knotting around the locks and ensuring the memory would remain indefinitely. On his lips, the faint taste of chocolate matched your own. His cologne, which was all the more intense with every encounter, seemed to close in around your throat and flood every one of your senses. The warmth of his palm felt like home, and home was something you had never been familiar with before. Your heart was thudding against your chest, trying it’s best to escape and showcase exactly how it bled just for him. In a split second, he became more to you than anything else had ever been, and the longer his mouth moved against yours, the more at peace you felt with it.

You were happy to be important to him, and you were happy that he could be important to you, especially when not much else in your life held a candle to the importance of him. Your many thoughts, which had never really been anything worthwhile, were once again obsolete. The conclusions you drew and hoops you’d jumped through to justify your liking and relationship with him meant nothing, because it was as simple as two people, who were once sharing a muffin on a park bench, kissing on a park bench. It was never as complex as you tried to frame it, and you were fine knowing that you were two people who would happily intertwine your lives for a while. For how long, you did not know, and you did not care. All you cared about was the sweetness of kissing him, and how you never wanted it to end. After that, all you would worry about is when you could do it again.

Some things are as simple as apple juice, and falling for Danny, as it seemed, was even simpler than that. If you had to guess, you would think it was the easiest thing you had ever done.

When he pulled away, you thought you would grieve the loss, yet somehow your chest seemed so much lighter than usual. A cloud of content surrounded you, and it had never been easier to fill your lungs with air. Kissing Danny seemed to cure you of all of the problems constantly looming over your head, and even if it was only temporary, you were thankful he could alleviate it at all.

“I can kiss you again, if that version of you is still worried I don’t feel the same way.” He offered, his face still so close to your own. Despite the distance, you could still feel the lingering ghost of blissfulness that came from such close contact with him.

“Just to be sure.” You said, a smile pulling at the corners of your lips.

“Right.” He agreed, moving forward and placing another delicate kiss on your lips. It was soft, short-lived, but still as beautiful as the last.

You quickly learned that the only thing better than kissing him for the first time was getting the chance to do it again.

“Is she convinced yet? ‘Cause I can keep going, if she wants me to.” You let out a laugh, leaning forward and repeating the action once more before drawing back entirely.

“I think so,” you assured him. He let his hand linger on your cheek for a moment longer, his thumb drifting gently across the soft skin before he pulled away, too. You saw his eyes flicker past you, a smile still lingering on his face. You turned your head, noticing Sam meandering near the swing set, Rose’s leash tightly in hand. “And I bet that version of Sam is really happy he didn’t screw up your chances this time.”

“You’d be right.” He nodded, noticing that the two were approaching. You picked away at the muffin, suddenly remembering the carbonated beverage in your pocket as you tried anything to forget the feeling of his skin on yours.

It was a terrible thing to be an addict, because the danger extended far beyond the simple claws of substance. You knew that a feeling as good as the one he could give you was more dangerous than anything you’d ever tried.

“You think I could let her off her leash?” Sam asked, approaching the two of you. He didn’t dwell on what he witnessed, but you could see a gleam of emotion in his eye, happy that the two of you had finally seemed to make the move (without another rude interruption from him).

“For sure.” You nodded, swallowing down a mouthful of the artificially flavored drink. You winced slightly at the carbonation, clearing your throat before speaking again. “Nobody ever comes through here, and the road isn’t really busy. If she’s got good recall, I wouldn’t worry.”

“Good,” he sighed, crouching down to unbuckle her harness. “She just wants to run. I feel bad keeping her on the leash.” When she was free, she trotted around the bench a few times, sniffing at the budding dandelions and dead grass. When she looked back up at you, she had a speckle of mud on her nose, causing you to giggle at her. Sam reached in the bag he had slung over his shoulder, quickly finding a tennis ball inside. He flashed the brightly coloured ball in front of her, immediately catching her attention. She watched his hand, waiting for him to throw it for her.

He tossed it, not too far but enough for her to run after it. Within seconds, she was off to retrieve it, and Sam was pulling a pack of cigarettes from the same bag. As he lit the end of it, Rose was already on her way back with the ball. Instead of dropping it at Sam’s feet, she turned to the two of you, watching Danny carefully. He chuckled, reaching his hand out for the ball. She dropped it in his open palm, her tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth as her tail wagged with a fervor.

“You mind if I play with her for a while?” Danny asked, looking between you and the tennis ball in his hand.

“Not at all.” You grinned. He smiled at you, giving your shoulder a slight squeeze before he stood. “Gives me some time to get to know Sam.”

“Of course.” He agreed, nodding his head. “Not too well, though.”

“No need to worry, Michigan.” You promised, your tone soft as you watched him stand. You knew he was only joking, but you couldn’t help but feel your heart tug at his words, wondering why that thought ever crossed his mind in the first place. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

Wordlessly, he stood. A stupid smile seemed permanent on his lips as he stumbled forward, drawing his arm back as he walked. The tennis ball soared through the air, and Rose took off in a run, chasing after it. Danny spared one last look over his shoulder, admiring your face before he jogged in the direction he’d thrown the ball. You sat in silence long after he was out of earshot, not sure how to get him off your mind so you could think of something else. Thankfully, Sam took a seat on the bench beside you, further away than Danny once sat. His movement seemed to break you from your trance, and once he knew he had your attention, he began to speak.

“I’m glad I finally got to meet you,” he said, pausing for a moment. “Utah.” He smirked, looking over at you as cigarette smoke billowed around him. The nickname was different coming from Sam’s mouth, definitely not as endearing as when Danny said it, but certainly not unwelcome. It was nice feeling like you were a part of something bigger, rather than your previous impression of only being a girl working at a shitty diner. You didn’t know Sam well enough to believe he thought of you as a friend, but you didn’t mind the idea of being a friend. As the nickname rolled off his tongue, you understood that despite knowing the boy for no longer than a cigarette, you existed as more than a stranger within the frames of his mind. “He talks about you a lot.”

“Does he?” You asked, intrigued at the statement. You looked over, pulling a cigarette from your own pack as you waited for a response. Sam looked too, catching your eye as he let out a soft chuckle.

“Oh, yeah.” He nodded, glancing back over at Danny for a moment. “Came home from the diner that day with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on his face.” Your cheeks heated, but not too extensively. You felt less embarrassed about the prospect knowing that Sam had seen the same lovestruck look in Danny’s eyes.

“I, uh… I was there that first night, when the two of you came in together.” You confessed, striking your lighter and placing it to the tip of your cigarette. You inhaled deeply, pursing your lips and puffing your cheeks as you exhaled the brunt of the smoke. As you gathered your thoughts, you let the rest filter out of your nose, the harsh chemicals stinging your sinuses. “I was too scared to introduce myself, so I’m real glad he decided to come back.” Sam nodded slowly, looking down at his hands as he took in your words.

“He tells me you’re an author?” He raised an eyebrow, flicking the growing ash to the ground as he spoke. “And a damn good one, at that.”

“I am.” You confirmed, feeling your heart flutter at the thought of him speaking so highly of you. “Maybe not as good as he says, but a writer for sure.” You hummed, swallowing down another mouthful of the energy drink. “I moved here from Utah, thought maybe a new city would help me get where I want to be.”

“Did it work?” You closed your eyes at the question, unsure of how to respond. In some ways, it did. In others, not so much. You felt like you had a head start, that you were exactly where you needed to be, and then you threw it away. The first few months, before Vincent managed to take over every aspect of your life, you were better off than ever before. Once he wiggled his way into your heart, you had been to distracted to care about anything other than the sound of your own breaking heart.

“Yes, but I think it might be wearing off.” You confessed. It was the first time you said it aloud despite thinking it a million times.

“So you’re a floater?” You liked Sam; he didn’t seem fond of small talk and fillers. He got straight to the point, and you could appreciate that. As a poet who felt like the best way to know a person was through the soul, the bourgeoning intensity of his questions felt real, rather than invasive.

“Always have been.” You admitted, picking at a hangnail that was bothering you. “What’s the point of free will if you always stay in the same place?”

“You feel that way about people, too?” He turned towards you now, his stare burning and his expression firm, but not menacing. As he sat before you, his words still ringing in your ears, you understood that he did not ask that question on behalf of himself.

“No.” You shook your head, smiling softly despite his heavy statements. “Loyal as a dog, even if it hurts me more than it helps me.” He didn’t break his eye contact, appearing to be very concerned about your answer. He didn’t want to not believe you, but he wanted to be certain you were telling the truth. You couldn’t blame him, so you didn’t.

“I have to look out for him.” He explained, his eyes softening as he realized your transparency was honest, rather than faked. “It’s nothing personal.”

“Didn’t take it as such.” You assured him. “He’s your best friend, and I’m just a girl who he met at a diner.”

“You’re more than that, Utah.” He chuckled. “But he’s my brother.”

“I get it.” You promised.

“He likes you, and I guess I’m just… I hope you like him the same way.” He continued, losing his rigidity the more he explained himself. “He loves with his whole heart, and it’s gotten him hurt before.”

“You’re floaters, too.” You reminded him, not as a defense, but as insight. “He told me you travel a lot, but you guys seem pretty loyal as well. Especially to each other.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He nodded, smiling at his own stupidity. “Maybe it’s too early to be having the ‘if you hurt him, I hurt you’ talk.” He chuckled.

“Maybe, but better too early than too late.” You took another drag from your cigarette, letting the words hang in the air for a moment. “I can respect someone who cares about his friends so much.”

“Thanks,” he grinned, rubbing his face in his hand for a moment. “I like you too, if that counts for something.” He added, wanting to ensure that you knew that. You smiled at the words, liking the feeling of being liked. “Killer music taste.”

“Thank you. Was the only good thing my family ever gave me.” You joked, prying a laugh from him.

“I hope you guys stick it out,” he confessed. “I’ve known you for a few hours, and I already like you better than the last one.”

“Real piece of work?” You asked, heavily interested but hesitant to tread too deeply. He scoffed, giving an exaggerated nod of his head as he closed his eyes.

“You have no idea.” At the sound of his response, you figured it was best not to ask and rather learn with time.

“I’m happy being liked, and I’m okay with being hated if I hurt him. He seems like a great guy. I’ve never really met anyone like him.” You confessed, looking out across the park. Your eyes landed on him, grinning wildly as he threw the ball yet again for the hyper dog. As she ran to fetch it, you caught him looking back over his shoulder at the two of you, making your stomach twist in a knot. “He’s sweet, and he’s… real. Hard to find someone genuine, and hard to find someone who cares about more than just themselves.”

“He is great,” he agreed. “You’ve never met anyone like him cause there isn’t anyone else like him. He’s one of a kind. Obviously, I’ve never been in love with the guy, but I can see the appeal.” At that, you let out an echoing laugh. The sound wrapped around the trees, as warm as the sun and as big as the sky. It felt good to laugh like that, and you hadn’t in a very long time.

“You could’ve fooled me.” You teased, still feeling the ghost of the laugh tingling on your lips. “Are you a musician too?”

“He didn’t tell you?” Sam asked, gazing curiously over at you.

“What do you mean?” You questioned, cocking your head to the side.

“We’re in a band.” He said, shocked that the fact was unbeknownst to you.

“Oh,” you shook your head, trying to recall all of the conversations to see if you missed anything. “No, he told me he played a lot of instruments, but never really said he did anything with it. I thought it was just for fun.”

“No, we’ve released some stuff. We’re planning on taking it further, actually. The reason we came here… we were headed to Nashville, figured maybe it was the right move. Before we took such a big step, we decided to take some time, find some inspiration.”

“Oh, wow.” You hummed, impressed but not necessarily surprised. You figured they had to be artists of some kind, especially for how well you got along with Danny. “He told me about the inspiration part, but not much else.”

“Yeah, my brothers Josh and Jake, went to Nashville early. They wanted to get used to the city, explore a bit. Danny and I figured we’d travel a bit, get a taste of the world so we could write about it, you know?”

“Yeah, I get you.” You nodded, realized you had in essence done the same. “That’s really cool.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, smiling as you spoke. “We only really planned to stay here for a few weeks, but I think we might stay for a little while longer.” You couldn’t help but feel your stomach sink at the sound of his words, dread seeping in faster with ever second that passed.

“A few weeks?” You asked, trying to stay calm.

In all of your earlier internal brooding, you never expected the timeline to be that short.

He looked to you, finding your anxious expression saddening to see. He felt guilty for framing the words so poorly, realizing that he made you worry for no real reason at all. “Don’t worry, Utah.” He assured you, giving you a soft smile. “We were only planning to stay here for a few weeks, but things never seem to go to plan. A waitress at a diner or something like that… seemed to make him want to extend the stay.” His voice was calm, soft and reassuring. You felt better almost instantly, letting out a little sigh of relief. “We managed to book the Airbnb for the rest of the summer. We were going to go to a few different places, but we realized New York has lots to offer.”

“It does.” The smile reappeared on your lips as you squeaked the words out. Even though he would be leaving eventually, you were grateful that a few weeks turned into months. You made a pact with yourself to cherish every minute with Danny, and to live in the moment. It was something you’d never done before, but for him, you wanted to try. There was no room for fear in the short time he would be in New York, as it would do nothing but take away from all the good that you could do.

The sound of paws on wet ground made you turn away from Sam, seeing Rosie barreling towards you two with the ball in her mouth. Danny was not far behind her, although he wasn’t moving nearly as fast. He had a glowing smile and eyes that only wanted to focus on you as he approached. Sam didn’t say anything else, but the look in his eye told you all you needed to know. He liked you, and would continue to like you as long as you didn’t hurt Danny. Lucky for him, you had zero intentions on doing such a thing. You only ever knew how to break things, but this was something you could not bear the thought of damaging. He was someone that you couldn’t bear to break.

“You have fun?” You asked him, your tone changing slightly as he continued to watch you. You weren’t sure if you were being less of yourself around him because of how different you were feeling, or if he was the only person in the world that could make you aware of such parts of you.

“You have no idea.” He joked, resuming his earlier position on the bench. Sam reached into his bag, pulling out a bottle of water and a cup for Rose to drink out of. “He tell you all of my secrets?” Danny asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Not exactly,” you chuckled. “Why didn’t you tell me you were in a band?” You questioned, finishing off the last of your beverage and sticking the cigarette butt in the now empty can.

“Oh,” he uttered, seemingly a bit flustered at the question. “Guess I never thought it was that important.” He shrugged.

“I think it’s very important.” You said, brushing off his nonchalance. “If it means something to you… it means something to me.” Your voice was quiet, and you couldn’t believe you’d let such a sentiment slip into the conversation. A small smile turned up on the corners of his lips, your words touching him and making his heart speed.

“If that’s the case, I’m sorry for not saying anything sooner.” He chuckled.

“I’ll forgive you this time, as long as I get to hear you play sometime.” You said, deciding not to pressure him too much.

“I suppose I could make that happen.” His smile continued lingering on his cheeks as he looked over your face once more. He wanted to sear the sight in his memory just so he never had to forget the moment.

You realized quickly that Danny loved the version of you two on a park bench, sharing a muffin just as intensely as you did. He did not say the words, but you could see it in his eyes, and the appreciation for the moment was radiating from him.

He made it incredibly hard not to fall for him.

The afternoon passed without any warning, the sun sinking further in the sky as conversation steadily filled the air. Laughs were plentiful, and the sunlight shining down on the three of you made it all the more remarkable. None of you wanted to part ways, but when the temperature started to nip your skin with cold and the wind tousled your hair, you knew that the fun filled day was drawing to a close. You tried to ignore the sadness plaguing you as Sam packed up Roses’ bag, but it hit you full force as he clipped her leash back to her harness. As he did so, you could feel Danny’s hand still lingering on your thigh, where it had found home not long after his return to the bench. It felt just as good as you imagined it would, and if possible, even better as the time went on.

You gathered the garbage you had accumulated, starting with the muffin wrappers and the empty can. You shoved it all in your pocket, making a mental note to throw it away when you stumbled across the nearest trash can. When you all stood, unspoken that it was time to leave, your limbs felt like lead. Your feet wanted to remain cemented to the ground, hoping that maybe it would draw the moment out longer. You weren’t ready to be alone, and you weren’t ready to part ways with Danny. The day had been so wonderful, fulfilling and beautiful in ways you never expected or imagined. You had a hard time coming to terms with it being over in an instant.

“You ready to go?” Danny asked, his voice quiet as he noticed your refrain.

“O-oh,” you mustered out, nodding your head. “Yeah. All good.” You cleared your throat, knowing in your soul how unconvincing it truly was. He watched you for a moment, and when you caught his eye, to your disbelief, you saw the same emotion in his own gaze.

“How about this,” he started, his face softening ever so slightly, despite already being as inviting as possible. “Why don’t you come with me while I drop Sam off, and then I’ll take you back home.” It was a last ditch attempt to spend an extra ten minutes together, and to him, ten minutes was worth the world.

“I don’t want to waste your time.” You said, feeling guilty at the idea.

“You’re never a waste of my time.” He said firmly, assuring you that he was telling the truth. After a moment of silence, you nodded your head.

“Yeah, okay.” You agreed. “I’d like that… a lot, actually.”

“Me too.” He said, his hand returning to your back as he guided you away from the bench. You were certain if he continued to touch you in such a way, you’d be in love before you ever got back to the car.

The walk away from the bench left you closer together than you were when you walked towards it. For once, you were so thankful for park benches and the stale NA meeting muffins, because you felt like it had given you the opportunity of a lifetime. It was a combination of things you’d experienced a million times before, yet it had never been so memorable to you. You felt as though you could live a million lifetimes and never forget how it felt to sit together and share the stupid double chocolate muffin.

Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, you were not sure.

Sam and Rose were at the car first, waiting patiently for the two of you. You stopped at the garbage can at the edge of the lot, tossing all of the trash away. Danny waited patiently for you, unwilling to go any further and leave you behind. When you joined him, he guided you towards the passenger door, opening it for you yet again. You climbed in, still somber at the idea of having to part ways soon enough, but feeling better at the knowledge it wouldn’t be immediately. Once everyone was inside, Danny quickly filled Sam in on the plan, which he agreed to without complaint. Not long after that, Danny backed out of the parking spot and began the journey back to the Airbnb.

He handed you his phone, telling you the passcode and allowing you to choose the music. You looked over at him for a second before turning back to the phone on your lap, stunned at the thought of him caring so little about it. Nobody had ever granted you such access to their personal business.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, noticing you staring at the unlocked phone, unmoving. You looked back over at him, blinking a time or two before responding hesitantly.

“Did you… did you want to open Spotify for me?” You asked, grabbing it and offering it back. He looked away from the road for a second, furrowing his eyebrows as he chuckled at your question.

“No…?” He shook his head. “I gave it to you for a reason, Utah. I don’t have anything to hide.”

“Right.” You nodded, still trying to digest the fact.

“Is something wrong?” He asked, finding your concern a little misplaced.

“Vincent would never have let me—“ you cut yourself off, your lips forming into a tight lipped smile. “You have nothing to hide.” You repeated the sentence quietly to yourself, relating the two thoughts together. “Right.” You nodded again, feeling your chest ache just enough for you to notice. Danny stayed silent for a moment, feeling guilty for bringing up a sore spot he did not know existed.

Vincent would grab his phone in haste and hide it from you, not because he just felt like doing so, but because there were things he did not want you to know. Your own naïveté led you to believe it was just a quirk, but Danny’s lax attitude when it came to sharing his phone with you opened your mind to months worth of red flags you should have been privy to. Actually, spending the entire day with Danny seemed to open the door to a whole new way of thinking.

For a man you did not actually date, Vincent seemed to fuck you up beyond what any actual boyfriend had done in the past.

You felt like an idiot for being so blind to Vincent’s behavior, but you felt that way even more so for bringing his name up in the front seat of Danny’s car. You knew you shouldn’t be thinking of him at all, no matter if it were at home or with company, because you and Vincent would never be together.

You weren’t sure why the thought tugged on your heartstrings, but it did nonetheless.

Amidst your thoughts, you picked a song so the tension in the air would lessen. When things seemed to go back to normal, you returned to the deepest parts of your brain to mull over the topic one more time.

You wanted to hate Vincent, and some part of you did, but you felt like it was not for the right reasons. You didn’t hate him as a whole, but rather only in the ways that made it impossible for you to let him in. You hated his obstinate attitude and his lack of empathy for anyone or anything. You hated his harsh words and anger-first mentality. More than anything, you hated the addiction that turned him into a monster. You believed (or wanted to, at least) that Vincent was good underneath the pile of shit life had thrown at him, and you aimed to believe it with your whole heart. You tried to believe it so strongly because despite the pain he caused, he also did a world of good for you. He hurt you more than most people, and nearly on a daily basis, but he was the only person you shared so much of your life with. He had moments of sweetness, warmth and kindness, but it was rare. Even so, the fact that it was so few and far between to experience such things at his hands, it made it all the better.

Because he was rarely good to you, the moments of good were better than all the bad combined. The bad things beat you down so much that when an hint of praise was sent your way, it was euphoric.

Had you cared to look a little deeper, you would have recognized it was abuse you suffered at his hand, even if it was not physical. You were defending someone who was doing nothing but trying to harm you. Even if it was not lethal, he was doing so in attempt to make you stay with him. He knew your intentions were too good to ever pick up on it.

Well, until that moment, at least. Until a certain someone had shown you it was not normal to be treated such a way.

You looked over at Danny for a moment, guilt plaguing you as you wondered if the reason you had clung to him so quickly was for the right reasons. Did you want him because he encased every trait that Vincent did not have? Did you want him because he did not use anger and cruel words to get you to do as he pleased? Was liking him just an escape from the life you were living before you met him, or was it more?

As you watched his face, listening the soft lull of the Eagles playing in the background, you knew none of those things were true.

Well, none were true in the sense you had previously perceived it as.

Danny was not Vincent, and he never would be. He didn’t have any of the toxic traits, and you were certain he would never speak to you even close to the way Vincent had grown comfortable with. You did not search for Danny in hopes of distracting yourself from Vincent. He walked into your life on a whim, finding you at the right time and for the right reason; chance. He was attractive, funny, and incredibly attentive. You did not kiss him on the park bench to bury your feelings for another man, and you did not kiss him for any other reason than want itself.

Danny was not Vincent, and that was a good thing. You knew your liking for him had nothing to do with anything other than simple things. Danny proved in an instant what Vincent could not in a year, and you needed to stop feeling guilty on behalf of someone who couldn’t care less about you. Even If he did, he had a lousy way of showing it.

Danny showed you the simple fact that you had been trying to avoid for eighteen months; you needed to get Vincent out of your head, or he would be your downfall. Even then, after such a beautiful day shared with a beautiful boy, it came right back to him as soon as the sun went down.

“I’ll see you later, Sam.” Danny said, catching your attention. You looked around, realizing you were parked in a driveway. You felt guilty knowing you had wasted the entire drive being lost in thought over a lost cause.

It was not very ‘live in the moment’ of you, nor was it very ‘apple juice’ of you.

Old habits die hard, it seems.

“See you, Sam. It was really nice meeting you.” You said, turning back to give him a smile. You tried to feign some sort of normalcy as you bid your goodbye, wishing you hadn’t met him on such an off day. You worried you had given him a poor impression, but as he smiled back and reached over the seat to place a hand on your shoulder, your fears seemed to wash away.

“Likewise.” He agreed, giving your shoulder a slight squeeze. “Happy I can finally put a face to the name, Utah. See you soon?”

“For sure.” You agreed, reaching back to pet Rose one last time.

“I’ll see you when you get home, Daniel.” Sam said, his eyes lingering over Danny’s face as if to tell him something non-verbally. You did not know either of them well enough to decode it, so you didn’t attempt to. Danny smiled, nodding once as Sam opened the car door. He helped Rose out, and within minutes, he was standing at the front door, typing in the code to unlock it.

There was a moment of silence, but as you learned, silence was never abundant between the two of you.

“What’s on your mind, Utah?” Danny asked, unable to hold his curiosity. “And don’t say nothing, because I know it’s not true.”

“It’s nothing important, really.”

“I thought we were past that?” He pressed, a small frown decorating his face. As you took in the sight of it, you realized that it was something you never wanted to see again. “Is it about Vincent?” You froze at his name coming from Danny’s mouth, the sound unfamiliar and completely misplaced.

“I… we are past that,” you agreed, nervous that he was getting the wrong impression. You wanted to tell him the truth. You wanted to tell him everything, but the time was not right. It was too early, and you feared that it would only send him running.

You could survive plenty, but Danny walking away suddenly seemed like the one thing that would put your foot in the grave.

“You told me there was nothing going on between you two.” He stated, his tone less than accusatory. He wanted to understand, and he would never be able to if you did not tell him. Words were failing you, and you had no idea how to respond without telling him the entire tragic tale. “I’m not upset, y/n. I just need you to be honest with me, ‘cause I really like you, and I’d hate for things to be… different than what I thought they were.” He phrased his words carefully, not wanting to attack, but rather meet on middle ground.

“There’s not.” You shook your head, denying the claim immediately. You realized how suspicious the quick response was and you let out a groan, collapsing back into the seat. You rubbed your face in your hands, wishing things could just be easy. With Danny, you wanted it all to be as easy as it was when you fell for him. “It’s not… it’s so complicated.”

“It wasn’t that complicated last night… what changed?” A sparkle of hurt in his eye shattered your heart and filled your stomach with lead.

“You drive, and I’ll talk, okay?” You offered, giving him a hopeful look so he wouldn’t get the wrong idea. He nodded, thinking it was a fantastic idea. “It’s not complicated between Vincent and I. We’re both extremely complicated people that happen to be in each other's lives. I don’t want you to think that I was lying.” As you began, he backed out of the driveway slowly, checking the street for oncoming traffic. “I can’t tell you everything right now, even if I want to. Can you… can you promise me that it’s okay, and when I’m done talking, that’s that. When I finish telling you, I can’t keep going.”

“Okay,” he agreed, hesitant to go along with the idea. “You’re not a serial killer, or like a mob boss, right?” At that, you let out a laugh, the heaviness in the air becoming easier to handle with one small humor filled comment.

“No, Michigan. Not a serial killer, not a mob boss. Just a regular person who works at a diner, who happens to have baggage that is heavier than some people can carry.” You breathed.

“We’re all a little fucked up, though.” He offered support as he took his time pulling onto the highway. A sad smile crossed your lips, knowing from that comment alone, he would never be able to understand.

“Right.” You agreed, forcing the word through your teeth. “I was telling you the truth last night. When I first moved here, I was alone, and worse than that, lonely. I got a job at the Fox, and I met Vincent there. He was funny, and he was nice to me, and that’s something I’m not particularly used to. We got along, and even had some things in common. We got to talking, more than anyone else at the time, and it snowballed into something bigger. We were something, like I said last night, but not anymore. It didn’t take long for him to show his true colours.”

“What happened?”

“What didn’t?” You chuckled. “Katie, the girl that served you the first night you came to the diner has a thing for Vincent. When she realized what the two of us were up to, she didn’t take it well, and she told me a whole lot about Vincent that he was trying to keep hidden. That he had anger problems, and lots of trouble with the law. She told me he loved the chase, but never seemed to want to keep anything after he got it.” You paused, knowing the next fact was the one that would make or break the situation, proving if Danny meant his promise of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’. “She told me he was an addict, and he was an avid attendee of Narcotics Anonymous mandated by his probation and enforced by his parole officer.” You muttered. Danny didn’t speak, but nodded as he listened.

“I moved to New York to start over, not get caught up in someone else’s shit.” You explained, giving him half-truths to avoid the most pressing issues. “But I liked him, so I talked to him about it. He admitted to all of it, and it sucked, ‘cause after all the weeks of talking and getting to know each other, I realized he was lying to me about nearly everything.” You muttered, feeling your chest ache at the idea. “If he had been truthful, we wouldn’t be here, but I was already in too deep. Cared about him, or whatever.” You brushed it off as if it were no big deal, but it was, and such a big one that it bothered you still. “I told him it was best we stay friends, and he agreed at the time, but it didn’t last long. He backed off for a little while, then he tried again.”

“I’m not a strong-willed person, and I gave in a couple times, but it never went any further. I cut it off the next day… or a few days later, until the next time he tried, at least. We got into this habit of acting like a couple, but never actually being one or doing anything a couple would do. Was just the way we treated each other, like we cared so much but we had no idea what to do about it. After so many months of the same routine, we got to know each other pretty well, which is why it’s so hard to not care, now. We haven’t… not in a long time, but he knows me better than most people. He knows I care, and he knows exactly what to say to keep me on the hook. It’s complicated to explain, because I can’t be with him, and I don’t even really want to be with him, but there’s some part of me that’s still… clinging to him, for some fucking reason.”

“Okay,” Danny said, showing he was still listening.

“I told him that I would never be with him unless he got clean, and after a year and a half… I know it’ll never happen. He tells me he will, and then he acts like he never said it at all, then spins it on me as if it’s my fault. We talk at the diner like we’re best friends, and it’s fun and lighthearted and enjoyable, until I say something he doesn’t like and he snaps. He’s good most of the time, but when it’s bad, it’s terrible. He’s so mean and unpredictable when he wants to be, and I never know if he’s telling me the truth, or if he’s just saying it so I’ll do what he wants.” You paused, taking a deep breath to gather your thoughts. “He knows we’re not together, and he knows we won’t be together, but he acts like I’m his. It’s not in a romantic way, and definitely in no way nice. He treats me like property sometimes, and I don’t get a say in it. Like last night… I’m sick of his shit, and I have no intention of being with him, so I started talking to you, cause I’m single and I’m allowed to do it.”

“Yeah,” Danny agreed, looking over at you with a flicker of concern in his eyes. “You are.” Under the surface, with every word that left your mouth, a flame grew bigger in his chest. He quickly lost his liking for the man he met the night before, even if the emotion was not large to begin with. He was sickened at someone treating you such a way, and more importantly, that you felt like it was what you deserved.

“When you left, he came out to talk to me. He was still pissed off, and when he’s like that, he just says whatever he—“ you cut yourself off, getting more worked up about it the longer you thought about it. You knew it was not the wisest idea to tell Danny the shitty things Vincent had to say about him, but it slipped out without second thought.

“What did he say?” Danny asked, staying calm even if he felt like begging you to continue.

“He was asking me about you, like he had any right to do that. He was acting like I was cheating on him, like I just gave up on him and moved on to someone else, like I’m not the one who’s taken care of him and cleaned up every mistake he’s made for the last eighteen months. I’m not like that, and I have never been. He knows that.” You spoke through clenched teeth, furious as you recalled his accusations and the tone of voice in which he said it. “He told me that I could never be with someone like you, and that you’d leave because I’m too much, that I’d run back to him, ‘cause he thinks he’s right for me. Like I don’t deserve more than that, or more than lies and someone who can’t fucking commit. Like I don’t deserve someone who cares.” Your chest was aching and your head felt like it was going to explode. The simple thought made tears fill your eyes and your stomach sick.

The real reason for your impromptu NA meeting finally surfaced, and it had nothing to do with Danny and his sunshiney personality. Like always, it came back to Vincent and his venomous nature, always doing what he could to kick you down and make you want to stay with him. Vincent did as he intended; he beat you down enough to make you think that Danny would never be with you, and it took all day for you to see the truth to the situation. This time was different, because his insults finally pushed you further away rather than forcing you back to him.

Silence became the two of you for a moment, emotion thick in the air as one word rang through both of your minds.

Abuse.

Of course, you couldn’t see it that way, because you were stuck in it. The hateful words felt deserved, and you felt wrong for liking Danny so much, even if you did not need to. You didn’t want to be with Vincent, and you weren’t in love with him, but his love for destroying your ego caused you to continue running back to him. You weren’t sorrowful on behalf of hurting him, but because you felt like a monster for finally taking a step back.

“You deserve someone who cares.” Danny whispered. The soft tone broke you free from the mental turmoil for a moment. “I care.”

“I know.” Your voice was just as quiet as his. “It feels nice.”

“It… it can keep feeling nice, Utah.” He said, his eyes steady on the road in front of him. “I would like to keep caring. I’d like it a lot, actually.”

“I would like it, too.” You admitted, looking down at your hands in your lap. “But it’s complicated, and I get it if you don’t want to. I get it if it’s too much.”

“What? No, y/n.” He shook his head, shocked that you got that impression from his words. “I don’t think it’s nearly as complicated as you made it seem.” You looked over at him, a flicker of hope in your eye. It had been a long time since you felt an emotion like such. “Sounds like he’s an asshole, and you’re trying to get away from it.”

Your first instinct was to defend Vincent, much like you had every other time someone had said something harsh about him. Instead of jumping right away, like a little guard dog for a man who would never do the same for you, you digested the words Danny had to say, and you agreed.

“Y-yeah,” you nodded “but it’s a whole lot more than that.”

“Not really.” He looked over, catching sight of your confusion. “Are you in love with him?” You thought about it for a moment, eventually shaking your head.

“I love him, but I’m not in love with him.”

“Right.” He said. “If he changed tomorrow, if he did everything you asked of him and he stuck with it, would you be with him? Even after all the shit he’s already done?” The idea had never crossed your mind before; you were stuck in the vicious cycle of hoping he’d change, yet never considered the fact that deep down, he would still be the same person. Even if he was clean, it could not erase the pain he’d already caused, and it would not take back the mean words already spewed in moments of anger. It would not change his lack of commitment, nor his lack of respect for you as a person.

If Vincent got clean tomorrow, even if the addictions were the cause of his vile behavior, there was not enough time in the world to atone for the mistakes he had already made.

“No.”

One single word seemed to be a pivotal moment in your life. It was something you hadn’t mustered the courage to admit, even if deep down you knew it to be true. You and Vincent would never work, no matter which version, or in any lifetime. You spent eighteen months wishing to see in him what you saw from Danny in a day.

All it took was the right person to show you how wrong the last one was.

“Then I don’t think it’s that complicated, Utah.”

As if some stroke of fate, as he said it, you neared the Fox on the highway. You looked out as you passed by, noticing first the empty lot, then Vincent’s old Pontiac parked in front of the entrance with the door open. Dylan and him stood side by side, sharing a cigarette. Even in the brief passing, you looked at him as you drove by and for the first time in your life, you felt nothing.

Well, nothing in comparison to what you felt for the boy sitting next to you, at least.

“I guess it’s not, Michigan.” You agreed, finding it easy to pull your eyes away from the diner if it meant you could look at him.

“Thank you for telling me.”

“I’m sorry if I made you second guess anything. I just… I was worried, that's all.”

“You don’t have anything to be worried about.” He assured you. “I’m happy I know, because I understand it now.” Your heart warmed at his words, never experiencing such sweetness from another person. “Plus, if it helps you feel better, I’d listen to you all day.”

“You’re pretty good, you know that?” He let out a small laugh, looking over with confusion on his face.

“What do you mean?”

“At getting people to fall for you. You’re good at it.” He let his eyes linger over you for a moment, unsure if he was understanding what you meant. When you gave him a small smile, he felt his cheeks tinge red. You didn’t notice it much under the golden glow of the setting sun, but that was mostly because it was framing him in an ethereal light that made it difficult to pick out small details, rather than admire him as a whole.

Normally, attention to detail was your specialty, but he was so special that it felt inherently wrong not to admire all of him.

“Yeah… you are, too.”

The confessions were indirect, yet meant a great deal to the both of you. It was telling of all you were feeling, but not enough to be overbearing on the first date.

“Where do you live, Utah?” The question you had been dreading for many reasons finally surfaced. You licked your lips, your entire mouth suddenly going dry at the thought. You looked around outside, trying to figure out where you were so you could give him directions. You had been too immersed in him to care about what was going on outside of the vehicle. You weren’t too far away from your apartment, and you were thankful that the instruction wouldn’t be too complicated.

“Um,” you hummed, pausing before giving him any direction. “Take a left on this street.” You pointed to the next turn, watching him as he clicked on the signal light and did as you said. “You’re gonna see a shitty old house that’s half burnt down. Take a right there.”

“Alright.” He nodded. You tapped your fingers against your leg, growing more nervous as he began to drive closer. The buildings grew more tattered looking with each passing moment, and you felt like you were going to explode. Nervousness plagued you as you wondered what he was thinking, or what he would think when he saw the state of your tiny little subdivision. Eventually, it grew to be too much and you had to speak.

“It’s not a very nice neighborhood… I’m sorry. I hope it doesn’t scare you away. It’s not half-bad once you get used to it.” You blurted out, immediately wishing you had bit your tongue and stayed quiet. He drummed his fingers against the leather steering wheel, looking around outside. His silence was a killer, and it only made you feel worse about the fact.

“I don’t think it’s bad at all.” At first, you thought he was lying to lessen the blow of what was to come next. When he didn’t continue, your nervous jitters seemed to wear away.

“R-really?” You stuttered, shocked at the response.

“Really.” He confirmed. “When I asked you to hang out, I wasn’t doing it in hopes you had a mansion or anything like that. I asked you out cause I like you, Utah. You don’t have to worry so much.” You wanted to respond, but you saw your complex out of the corner of your eye as he turned down the street.

“My building is right next to that bar. You can just park on the street. Nobody really drives down here unless they have to.” You explained, pointing it out to him. “And… thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for being nice.” He whispered, parking right in front of the front door for you. When he put the car in park, he looked out the window for a while, realizing the extent of what he said and hurting at the thought of you feeling like you needed to thank him at all. He hated the idea of you feeling lesser, because he thought you were the best thing the world had to offer. It only took a day to know that you were everything, and knowing someone made you feel like nothing was sickening. “I should be thanking you for such a fantastic day.”

“It wasn’t anything much. I’m sorry for forgetting this morning, and I’m sorry I didn’t have something better planned.” You paused, feeling an ache in your heart before you spoke again. “Money is pretty tight, as I’m sure you can tell, but I hope you still had fun.” You knew your fun-filled day was likely nothing in comparison to what he was used to, and a wave of insecurities washed over as you thought about it.

“Are you kidding?” He said, astonished at your lack of awareness of the situation and oblivion to his feelings. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Utah. I had a great day, and it had nothing to do with where we went or what we did. I had a great day because it was with you.” He looked over at you, finding his heart speed at the sight of your face. He’d been looking at you all day and he was certain he would never get sick of it. “I’d sit on a park bench and share a muffin with you every day if I could, ‘cause I think that version of me is the happiest.”

God, why did he have to be so cute?

“I think that version of me might be the happiest. If not, it’s a close second to the version of me kissing you on that park bench.” You smiled, not daring to look away from him.

“Right, how could I forget that? That version of me is the happiest for sure.”

You were beginning to question if someone like him could even be real, or if you were stuck in a grand hallucination about someone you’d always wished to meet.

“I think I’d also like the version of us kissing in your car before I have to go inside.” You whispered, finding a newfound confidence after hearing all of his sweet words.

“I think I’d like that too.” He agreed, but did not make a move. He wanted you to do it on your own time, when you were comfortable.

“You think there’s a version of us that sits here all night, talking until the sun comes up?” You asked, leaning across the center console so you could be closer to him.

“If you’d like that, I’m sure there is.” He breathed, nodding as he moved towards you, too.

“I think I’d like any version of us, Michigan.” You confessed, a soft smile crossed your lips. He was close now, the warmth of his body radiating through the air and wrapping you in an aura of comfort.

“I know I’d like any version of us, Utah.” With that, his hand reached out to cup your cheek and he moved forward, closing the gap between you. You closed your eyes, a wave of blissfulness washing over you as his mouth moved against your own. You stayed like that for a long while, neither of you seeming to want to end the moment. When he did feel like he was going to pull away, you raised your hand to his arm and pulled him closer.

That seemed to be the permissive nature he was waiting for, and his hand dropped from your cheek to your hip. If he had one more shred of courage, you thought he might pull you across the console and into the driver's seat with him. He didn’t, but there was a part of you that so desperately wished he would. Now that you had him freely, with no guilt or shame looming over you, you wanted all of him. His large hand felt good on your hip, like it was always meant to be there, and the taste of him on your tongue was intoxicating.

You had never felt a touch nearly as good as his, and you’d never had an addiction that left you feeling so sick.

He was the best thing to ever exist, but all great things come with risk, and you feared that the risk that accompanied his love would be catastrophic.

He was lucky he caught you on a day where your self-control was greatly lacking.

Or maybe, you were the lucky one for once.

“Is there a version of us that goes upstairs together?” You asked, rushing the question out without thinking about the consequences. Thankfully, he seemed just as impulsive as you did in the moment. Without a response, he unbuckled his own seatbelt and climbed out of the car. Within seconds, he was opening your door for you and helping you out of the vehicle.

When your feet hit the ground, your hands found him immediately, already missing the feeling of touching him. In a fit of giggles and wandering touches, you managed to pull your keys from your pocket and unlock the front door. Danny stepped forward, wedging his foot between the door and the frame so it would not shut and lock itself. Then, he pulled you into him by your hip, seemingly unable to wait until you were upstairs to kiss you. You raised your hand to his cheek, cupping it gently and tangling your fingers in the locks of hair hanging over his cheek.

If you weren’t so enamored with the curly headed boy promising to be all that you once wished for, you would have noticed the old, rusted Pontiac Tempest sitting just down the street by the door of the Pony.

If you weren’t so concerned about your own happiness, you might have noticed the grief stricken expression of a broken boy sitting in the front seat, trying his best to disappear into ripped leather and the rotten body as tears stung his eyes.

Maybe, if Vincent cared enough to hold his sharp tongue and sober up, he would have been the boy carrying you home, rather than the boy watching as someone else swept you off your feet. He wanted to be all that you needed, but he did not know how.

Instead of trying, he waited for your will to bend so you would accept him as he was.

When the front door of your apartment complex fell shut behind the two of you, Vincent understood that waiting had never been the answer, and your will would never bend for him.

A bloody fist and a broken heart screamed into the night, knowing that his spot in your bed was finally filled by someone more willing to give than take.

Inside the apartment complex, the two of you ran up the stairs in a mess of lingering touches and excited jitters. You unlocked your front door, kicking it open while turning to Danny as you stepped backwards inside. His hands found your hips as soon as the door closed behind you, and his lips met your own with a whole new ferocity. Now, without any restrictions and no onlookers to bother you, you felt a type of freedom you hadn’t felt in your entire life.

Thankfully, he was too immersed in the feeling of your body pressed against his to care about the peeling paint and exposed brick on the walls.

Then again, after everything he had said that day, you were beginning to believe he wouldn’t have cared either way.

You were so focused on him that your keychain fell from your fingers, clanging against the floor but nowhere near loud enough to distract the two of you. Without breaking your kiss, you led him backwards into the ‘kitchen’ (the whole apartment was pretty much one big room anyway, so you were really just leading him to the part with a table). He followed your lead, uncaring for where he ended up as long as there was a promise of you.

The ache between your legs was so strong that you felt like you might die before he could relieve it. He parted from you only for a moment to take in his surroundings. His lips were swollen, blushed with pink darker than usual from the moment of intimacy just moments before. His chest was rising and falling, trying to catch up on lost air, and his eyes had darkened significantly compared to what you were used to.

If you thought Danny was stunning before, it had no comparison to how he looked then.

He looked past you, his gaze settling on the table filled with notebooks and pens. He looked back at you with a hint of an apology in his eye, then he reached around you. With one swipe of his arm, the surface was cleared of any clutter. Even if you were upset over it (which you certainly weren’t), his hands were already on your hips again and he lifted you onto the table before you even had time to form a complaint about it. If there was any hesitation about the action, it was long gone when he lifted you so easily, and your stomach was twisting with knots at the thought of him using such strength again. When you were settled atop the shaky table you’d found outside on the side of the street (which was a score in your option), you took it upon yourself to toss your jacket to the floor to join the keys.

His hands snaked up the sides of your sweater, his cold fingers settling on the warm skin. The touch sent a shiver down your spine, and an entire day of trying to hold yourself back from how you felt about him dissolved into the most pointless battle you’d ever fought. You needed him, and you needed him more than the starving needed food, and it felt better than water to the thirsty. You needed Danny in every way possible, and you could not will yourself to wait. After weeks of texts and phone calls, visits to the diner where you avoided working as much as possible, to today when you shared kisses and sweet sentiments and tortured yourselves with endless flirting.

“Is this okay?” He asked, his breathing still heavy as he looked over your face for any sign of discomfort.

“God, yes.” You nodded, looking up at him towering over you still. There was a clear look of desperation in your eyes, and upon discovering it, it seemed to drive him near insanity. “Please, don’t stop.” If the look in your eye sent him spiraling, the words pushed him over the edge. The slight whimper in your tone was kryptonite to him and the way your lips formed into a pout as you spoke nearly forced him straight to his knees.

He brought his hand to your cheek again, more power behind his touch than the last time. His desire for you had thrown the gentle touch and hesitancy into the garbage. His other hand, still resting just under your shirt, slid to your back. He pulled you closer to him, settling between your legs in an instant. He leaned down, kissing you softly but with a force behind it that made your head spin. Just like every other thing he’d done that day, it felt no less than perfect. No less than right.

You reached up, brushing the jacket off his shoulders, feeling unequal in the fight of taking each other's clothes off. He let go of you just long enough to toss it to the floor, then resumed his position without any further interruption. Your tongue swiped over his bottom lip, begging him for a taste of something more, a taste of the one sin you could indulge in without it ruining your life. If you had to bet, you would have wasted your life savings on the fact that it would be better than anything you had ever felt before.

He lifted your sweater, exposing you to the chill of the air. You did not flinch, nor did you give it a second thought, knowing that soon enough he’d be warming you up again. Before he slipped the sweater over your head, he left a trail of kisses down your jawline, settling his lips just under your ear. You felt his teeth graze over the sensitive spot he’d discovered, making you shiver under his touch. “I need you, Danny.” You muttered, your fingers grasping around his bicep. The muscle flexed in response to your touch, and you were unsure if it was involuntary or purposeful.

He let out a hum at your words, the sound husky as it rattled through his chest, settling somewhere deep in your bones and making home there. He pulled away, slipping your sweater over your head and adding it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. You sat in front of him, your bra the only thing standing between you and being exposed to him. The reality began to catch up to you, but it did not scare you away. The care and appreciation in his eyes was something new, and something you were desperate to get used to. Every touch was laced with caution, yet firmly accentuated everything he’d been feeling for you since the minute he laid eyes on you. His need for your comfort was beautiful, but nothing was more precious than him as a whole. You thought you would chicken out, that you would run after the reality of being so intimate with someone new after a year and a half hit you, but the feeling never came. It didn’t scare you, and it didn’t make you want to run; it drew you closer to him, and you wondered if it could feel this good all of the time.

“We can keep doing this, if that’s what you want.” He said, his fingers tickling your back as they trailed upwards, settling on the clasp of your bra. “It doesn’t have to just be tonight. I don’t want it to end after tonight.”

“Were you reading my mind?” You giggled, feeling the tension of the straps lessen as he unclipped the hooks.

“What do you mean?” He chuckled, looking down over your face. The simplicity between you two was astounding.

“I was just wondering if life could feel this good all of the time. Guess you just answered that for me.” You smiled up at him, lost in the sweetness of his eyes. “I don’t really want it to end after tonight, either.”

“Then it’s settled.” He said, dropping your bra to the floor. “We can spend lots of days sharing muffins on park benches.”

“And kissing on park benches?”

“And even better things… on kitchen tables.”

“I like the sound of that, too.” You breathed, talking fast in hopes that it would speed the process up. You began to notice that despite your lack of clothing, his eyes had yet to leave your face. You were afraid for him to look further, to inspect every flaw and insecurity that was in perfect display for him. You didn’t want him to look downwards, finding the sense of desire fleeing him as he picked up on every detail that you had grown to hate. As his eyes lingered on your face, he made no attempt to break the stare.

He cared about you more than he cared about your body. He’d grown to appreciate every small detail of you before ever taking your clothes off, and his opinion did not change for something as feeble as scars and imperfections. To him, less than perfect could not exist within you.

You gave him a smile. It was small, but it was reassuring. He returned the expression, letting his fingers drift carefully over the soft skin of your stomach. The light tickle distracted you from your internal thoughts, bringing you back to reality and forcing you to realize that Danny was not like the people that came before him. He was kind, he was sweet, and he cared. Even if you were not used to it, you knew it to be true.

He guided your upper half backwards slightly, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your shoulder. Your eyes fluttered closed as the warmth of his lips spread across your entire body. His tongue delicately drifted over your collarbone, stopping momentarily to suck marks into the skin that would remind you of him in days to come. He continued downwards as his hand reached your chest, cupping one of your breasts in his hands. He let his thumb drift over one of your nipples as his tongue found the other.

“O-oh, fuck.” You squeaked, looking down at the top of his head as his tongue circled around the sensitive nub. It was an unfamiliar feeling, not because you’d never had sex, but because you rarely had sex that was more than just penetrative. Most often, it was treated as a race, but from the time you stepped into the door to where you were now, you weren’t even fully undressed. Normally, you’d already be turned on your side and begging yourself to fall asleep so you could finish Vincent’s job in the morning after he left.

Vincent was not bad at sex, but he certainly didn’t care about your pleasure more than his own.

Unless he was trying to apologize for something, which was rare in itself.

As he continued on, you found yourself moving your hips downward on the table, desperate for the friction as he continued his tirade. The first few times, he managed to ignore it. As it continued, he found it much harder to keep himself distracted, thinking too much about the mess between your legs he was responsible for.

“What’s wrong, baby?” The pet name seemed to shatter your psyche, forcing you to let go of what little self-respect you had left. “You want me to take care of you?” Even his filthy side was sweet, and it was just as addicting as the rest of him.

“Yes, please.” You nodded, watching intently as he unbuttoned your jeans. As he pulled down the zipper, you lifted your hips from the table. He hooked his fingers through the sides of your underwear, pulling both down in one swift motion. When you placed your hips back down, the coolness of the surface came as a shock, causing you to gasp. “I don’t think this is fair.” You said, trying to recover from the cold.

“What’s not fair?” He asked, clearly trying his best to only focus on your face. Having you completely exposed before him was something he had been waiting for, but he didn’t want to make it glaringly obvious.

“That I’m naked and you’re not.” You said, pointing out the obvious.

“Right.” He chuckled, nodding as he grabbed the hem of his shirt in his hands. He pulled it over his head, tossing it away. It was a mannerism he picked up from you, finding you saying the word more often than not. He thought it was cute, and so much so that it quickly infiltrated his own vocabulary. “Better?”

“Almost.” You said, wanting him to take the rest off, too.

“Impatient?” He raised an eyebrow.

“No,” you scoffed, denying the accusation almost immediately. “Okay yeah, maybe. So what?” You rolled your eyes.

“Some things are better if you wait.” He said, stepping towards you. He reached out, letting his hands skim your thighs. The touch sent jolts of electricity throughout your whole body, almost making you forget your argument. You, unlike him, could not hold back your stare. Your eyes were studying every available inch of him, from the broadness of his shoulders, to his strong arms, to the patch of hair on his chest. You swallowed hard at the sight of his stomach, and found your mouth watering when you reached the treasure trail, leading to the leather of his belt. The peek of a v-line enticed you further, and eventually you forced yourself to look back at his face. His lip was upturned into a smirk, but he didn’t comment on your blatant staring.

“I don’t know if that’s true. I’m not a big fan of waiting.” You disagreed, frowning only slightly. Instead of responding, he sank to his knees between your legs, looking up at you through his lashes.

“Some things, Utah.” He repeated, his arms hooking underneath your legs and his large hands landing on the outside of your thighs. He guided one leg over your shoulder, slowly running his hand down the limb to keep up the morale despite your disagreement. “Not everything.” With that, he placed a small kiss to the inside of your thigh, drawing back for just a moment to admire you, too. His eyes raked over your upper half, taking an extra moment to seat the memory into his mind forever. Then, his gaze dropped, looking over your stomach. You wanted to shy away, to hide yourself so he did not pick up on any rolls or stretch marks that made the picture less appealing. He seemed to notice your refrain, his eyes flickering back to your face. “You’re gorgeous, y/n.” He said, his tone firm. Your cheeks reddened at the words and you could not seem to formulate a response. “The prettiest girl I have ever seen.”

“You, too.” You squeaked, your cheeks turning crimson now, incriminating you further. He let out a chuckle.

“I’m the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen? Thank you.” What would normally leave you in an anxious mess seemed to melt the tension away further. Your silly comment didn’t bother you in the slightest, because it struck a smile on his face. That was something that outshined anything else.

“Your heart swelled with affection for the man between your legs, and your insecurities seemed to melt away. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” He shook his head, happy that it seemed to lessen your anxiety. His lips dusted over your thighs again before his eyes settled on your cunt. The muscles in his jaw tensed and his eyes darkened further. You were aching for him, dripping with arousal and it was glaringly obvious how badly you needed him to touch you. After taking the time to appreciate you, he guided your other leg over his shoulder. Then, he leaned forward, letting his tongue connect with your core.

“Fuck,” you hissed, your eyes closing and your hips moving forward to meet his mouth. He barely touched you, but it felt like he’d given you the whole world. It had been too long, and you had been waiting for him for a long time. He let his tongue run through you, focusing first on your entrance to get a taste of the arousal he’d caused. He took in a long breath, humming a noise of pleasure from the sweetness of you. Eventually, his tongue moved upwards, circling around your swollen clit to give you a little relief.

You reached down, tangling your hand in his hair as your back arched, begging for more without even saying a word. From your reaction alone, he could tell how badly you needed it and he was nothing if not generous. He flattened his tongue against you, licking a solid stripe for one last savoring moment before returning his focus to your clit. He suctioned his lips around the sensitive bundle of nerves, the feeling of pleasure quickly spreading through your entire body. Your abdomen tensed in reaction to the sensation, finding it unfamiliar yet familiar all the same. It was something you did not experience often, and something you hadn’t experienced in a very long time. You couldn’t remember if it normally felt so good, or if Danny was just good at what he did.

As you thought back, you knew nothing had ever compared to what he was doing to you now, and Danny was most definitely just good at what he did.

You were embarrassed at how good you were feeling, unbelieving of the knot already tightening in your belly. Your fingers tightened in his hair, drawing him closer as his tongue continued to work at you. A whine left your lips, laced with neediness and only encouraging him further.

“Feels so fucking good, baby. Please don’t stop.” The pet name did the same to him as it did for you, filling his stomach with an unfamiliar feeling and making his head spin. He groaned against you, the vibration furthering your pleasure as you gripped onto the counter with force to hold yourself steady. Your head fell back between your shoulders, a moan tearing through your chest as a wave of euphoria ran through you. You wanted to cum, but you didn’t want him to stop. It was a Catch-22 for you, but either outcome was going to be good no matter what.

His hands tightened around your hips, pulling you closer to the edge of the table for easier access to you. He wanted all of you, in any way he could have you. The taste of you on his tongue was something he never wanted to forget, and the feeling of your legs trembling in response to his own actions was thrilling. He quickly learned that making you feel good was the best feeling in the whole world.

“Oh, god.” You whined. He felt your leg tightened around him, drawing him closer without any intent at all. The sound was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard, but he knew what it meant. He drew back, quickly slipping his thumb in place of his tongue so he did not completely ruin the moment for you. You looked down, desperation in your eyes as you silently pleaded with him to keep doing what he was seconds before.

“So close already?” He asked, only slightly teasing you as his thumb drifted over your clit. It felt good, but nowhere near how good his mouth felt.

“I-I know, I’m s-sorry.” You stuttered, feeling yourself clench around nothing.

“Don’t ever apologize for that.” He muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. The domineering tone of voice he was using sent a rush of emotion straight to your core, making it even harder to hold on. “Do you want to cum for me, baby?”

“I do,” you gasped, feeling the burning in your belly reach an intensity you’d never quite felt before. “Please, baby. I need it so bad. Please.” You groaned, your knuckles turning white from your grip on the edge of the tabletop.

“Sound so pretty when you beg for it,” he muttered, taking a deep breath. You felt his fingers slide down to your entrance, slowly pushing inside of you as his eyes focused intently on his hand. The look on his face nearly drove you over the edge alone, but when his fingers curled upwards, hitting the sweet spot inside of you, there was no more holding back. “Cum for me, baby. Wanna hear how good it feels.”

As he spoke, you realized that his tongue was more beneficial when it was talking you through it, rather than doing the work. The sound of his voice was like a blanket of comfort and the filth of his words daring you closer to the edge. You felt yourself clench around his fingers, the muscles in your stomach tightening as your legs began to shake. You weren’t sure if you had ever felt so good in your life, and you wondered how it was so fucking easy for him to do such things to you.

“Fuck, Danny.” You cursed, a whimper falling from your lips as pleasure plagued your entire body.

“That’s it, beautiful. Just like that.” He encouraged, keeping his thumb in time with the pump of his fingers. You let out a moan in response, but it got stuck in your throat. You wanted to cry out, to tell him all about how good he was making you feel, but you could not even do that. It felt so fantastic that it made you forget how to. “Tell me about it, gorgeous.” He whispered, desperate to hear the beautiful noises fall from your lips. At the sound of his voice, the moans grew louder and more desperate, easily telling him of all he wanted to know.

You did not remember how to do it, unless of course he was telling you to. You would do anything he asked of you.

The sensation became too much, all of your nerve endings searing with pleasure. Your stomach felt like it was engulfed in flames and your limbs ached with the tension of your muscles. You descended into the climax, euphoria surrounding you as your eyes squeezed shut. It felt so good, so intense that you feared you might fall if not for his strong hand holding you steady. “There you go,” he hummed, his eyes glued to your face as it twisted into an expression of pleasure. He normally thought you were stunning, but in that moment, he thought it more than ever.

As you began to come down from the high, you were still delirious. So much so that you barely noticed him standing, unbuckling his belt and tossing it to the ground. You only came to when he kicked his jeans to the side, taking post between your legs once again. “M’sorry, baby. I don’t think I can wait any longer.” He admitted, regretful that he seemed to be rushing.

“It’s okay,” you promised, now more excited at the idea of fully having him.

“I can give you more later, but right now, I need you.”

Oh, how fantastic it felt to be needed by him.

“S’okay, Danny.” You reiterated your point, finding no need for him to feel bad at all. “Please fuck me.”

“If you insist.” He chuckled, placing his hand on your back as he prompted you to lay down on the table. “Would you like me to make it more romantic? Could I find a candle or something, really set the mood?”

“Shut up.” You giggled, wincing as your back hit the cold table. The temperature made your nipples harden even further, and his eyes scanned down to your chest as if he was expecting it, or waiting for it, even.

“Aw, come on. No need to be mean.” He said, lifting your legs and wrapping them around him. By your thighs, he pulled you to the edge of the table to make it easier for you both. “Just thought I’d offer.”

“Not a big romance fan.” You confessed, grinning up at him.

“No?” He raised an eyebrow, resting the tip of his cock on your entrance. The feeling was enticing, but you didn’t want to rush into it. “So what? You’d rather me fuck you like a whore?” The switch in tone made your blood run cold, but not because you didn’t like it. The change in his voice was incredibly appealing, and you wanted him to use it more often. He could see the expression in your face change, going from amused to intrigued. A smile blossomed on his lips as he ran his tip through the wetness still pooling between your legs. “Is that it, baby?” He questioned, continuing to tease you. An intense sensation spread through your stomach as his cock brushed over your still sensitive clit, driving you crazy the longer he let it linger there.

“Yes, please.” You nodded, feeling him line himself up with you again.

“What was that? Didn’t quite hear you.” He asked, pushing his hips forward only slightly. Just his tip rested inside of you, the feeling worse than torture. You let out a sigh, wondering if it would encourage him if you moved down on him yourself.

“Please fuck me, Danny.” You repeated, growing more desperate by the second.

“One more time?” He pressed further, trying his best to get on your nerves.

“Oh, come on.” You scoffed, growing irritated with his teasing. “You want me to sit here and beg for it all night?” You didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh, but at the same time, you were more than ready for him to fuck you. As the words left your lips, he seemed to take it better than expected and slammed his hips forward. A cry left your lips at the suddenness of his actions, the sensation painful but so pleasant at the same time.

“I liked it a whole lot better when you were.” He said, honest enough. He was mostly saying it just to keep up the act, but you had pressed a button, even if it wasn’t very long lasting. The feeling of being inside of you atoned for the moment of annoyance.

“I’m s-sure you did.” You gasped, squeezing your eyes shut as he pulled your hips down on him and slammed back into you.

“Didn’t take you for a brat.” He commented, smirking down at you as he fucked into you. It was so good, something you had dreamed about, yet even better than you imagined. A fictional fabrication of the scenario did not even come close to the feeling of the real thing. The sound of skin on skin, the sweaty bodies sticking together, the heavy breathing ringing through the room was all too much, yet not enough at the same time.

“I am not a brat,” you argued, reaching out to touch him. Your fingers settled on his arm, the warmth of his body familiar and comforting. It reminded you he was still him, and he would be long after the act was over. Sex was nice, but the touch was grounding, ensuring you wouldn’t fall too far from reality. “Just because I don’t say exactly what you want me to say doesn’t make me a brat.”

“I think it does, baby.” He chuckled, loving the fact that even during sex, there was that fiery little part of you that still existed. It was the very thing that drew him to you in the first place. “Where’d the arguments come from? You were so good just a few minutes ago.”

“What, you only want to fuck me when I’m being good for you?” You asked, gripping his arm a little tighter as you felt his cock brush against your cervix. “Bit self-centered, don’t you think?”

“No, I still want to fuck you.” He said , his fingers digging into your hips in the most delicious way. You could feel the sting of bruises already begin to form, and you were excited to see the dark shadows the next morning to remind you of his generous nature. “Makes it more fun, actually.”

“Why is that?” You rolled your eyes, finding the role of a brat more fitting with each second that passed. It was comfortable with him, and your personality continued to shine through even while experiencing such new things.

“‘Cause I don’t have to feel bad when I tell you to shut the fuck up.” He stated, delivering another forceful thrust of his hips. This time, you did not have an argument for his words, because a sharp yelp sounded through the room, echoing off the walls and hanging heavy in the air. The roughness felt so good, addicting almost. Everything about him was, and you weren’t surprised about it anymore. “You want to be good for me again, baby?”

“Why should I?” You said, trying to keep your voice steady, but it proved difficult. Your words were shaky, strained with the knot tightening in your belly again. He let out another chuckle, finding your fight endearing. You did not take him as dominant, especially after how sweet he’d been to you all day, but it was good. Now that you saw the difference, it seemed fitting.

“‘Cause you want to cum again.” He stated as a matter-of-fact.

“And if I’m not good, you won’t let me?” Your eyes closed, the pull of pleasure calling your name as sweat began to head on your forehead. You were calling his bluff, but there was a small part of you that feared he really would not let you.

“I’d definitely consider it.” He said, a knowing look on his face. He would consider it, and he would go through with it.

“I’m sorry, baby.” You muttered, feeling breathless at the abundance of emotion coursing through your veins. The feeling was so intense it was making your head swirl, and you couldn’t risk letting go of it.

“Are you?” He asked, letting his hand trail up your stomach. “Or are you just saying it to get what you want?” His hand settled over your breast, firmly squeezing it in his hand and showcasing his desire to move on from the topic.

“Oh, does it really matter?” You exclaimed, nearly delirious from your need for him. Talking was a dead-end, and as much as you liked the sultry tone of his voice, there were more pressing matters at hand.

“It does,” he nodded, letting his thumb drift over your hardened nipple. The sensation raised goosebumps across your skin, combining with the feeling growing more intense in the pit of your stomach. It was maddening, the longer it continued the more you feared for your life, but you couldn’t bear the thought of him stopping. When you didn’t respond, he pinched your nipple between his fingers, sending a shock through you.

“I mean it, I’m sorry.” You rushed out, hoping his impatience wouldn’t affect his desire to please you.

“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” He asked, looking down at you with adoration sparkling in his eye. Even with his mind clouded by desire, he couldn’t help but appreciate you and all of your beauty. Your eyes glistening with annoyance and the way your skin wrinkled by your eyebrows when you furrowed them caught his attention, but your flushed cheeks and parted lips locked him in for eternity. The thin layer of sweat over your forehead and the messy hair gave him a sense of confidence, and your hands reaching for him, grasping desperately to touch him filled him with a warmth he’d never quite felt before.

Fucking you felt right, but so did the feelings blossoming in his heart. You were right to him, no matter what baggage you came with or how adverse you felt about falling in love and opening your heart. He could see that you felt it to, making the falling much less scary. Knowing you were falling to meant he had someone to hold along the way, rather than experiencing it by himself.

“Can you keep being good for me?” He teased, dropping his hand from your chest. His fingers ghosted down your stomach and eventually settled around the front of your thigh. He used the grip as leverage to pull you back onto him as he kept a steady pace with his hips. “Or is that too much to ask of you?” The playful banter was comforting, and with every word he spoke, it seemed like you were closer and closer to your second climax. Even though his words were rude at times, clearly used to put you in your place, you knew it was an act. Beneath the surface, there was still ample amounts of care, ensuring that even if his words were harsh, you knew he did not mean them.

“I can,” you nodded, feeling too good to test his patience. As much as you enjoyed teasing him, you enjoyed getting off much more. You would be a fool to say anything that might cause him to stop.

“Are you going to cum for me, baby?” He asked, noticing the look in your eye. It was familiar now, a sight he was certain he’d never forget. His tone was sweer, doting on you as if he hadn’t just spent the last few minutes throwing indirect insults your way.

“Fuck yes,” you whimpered, feeling your walls tightening around him, drawing him in even further in hopes of locking him there for eternity. “So close, baby.” You warned, feeling his hand snake between your legs. When his thumb landed on your clit, tracing slow circles in time with his hips, he did not need to speak for you to know what he wanted.

“Come on, baby.” He encouraged, but it was a plea disguised as something else. He needed it just as much as you did, finding himself barely hanging on. You looked up at his face, finding everything you were seeing drive you even close to the edge. His curls were sticking to his neck, his head tilted back ever so slightly as he staved off his own pleasure. His adams apple stood prominently, drawing your focus to his throat and in turn, the columns of his neck leading down to his collarbones. He was a work of art, and you felt discrepant in comparison to his beauty. The curl of his lip, holding back a groan that was begging to be spoken made you wonder what you did to deserve such a relation with him. Every detail of him was more extravagant than the last, and you knew that nobody would ever compare.

He looked down, noticing your lack of words, noticing immediately that you had been staring at him. His thumb moved faster with more pressure behind the action as a smirk turned his lips. Your face flushed, realizing that he was getting off at the knowledge of you watching him. For some reason, the idea turned you on even further. Unfortunately, you did not have much of a threshold to withstand any more, and the passing thought sent you spiralling into euphoria.

You came hard, the entire world seeming like it would disappear from sight, leaving only you and him in an endless cycle of chaos. But, his chaos was addicting, and you couldn’t think of a better way to spend eternity. Your chest ached for a breath of air as your legs locked around him, holding him close to you as he helped you through the high. It felt so good that your mind went awry, delirium settling deep in your bones as your skin was set ablaze with pleasure. In reality, it only lasted a few seconds, yet the intensity made it feel like a lifetime.

“There you go, sweet girl.” He hummed, his thumb loosening up on the pressure as your body began to relax against the table. The term of endearment sent you spiralling in a whole new dimension, this time not accredited to sexual gratification. Not only did he make you feel good physically, but continued along with emotional fulfillment to cement the memory in your brain forever. “Being so good for me, baby.” He said, clearly fighting the urge to let go himself. With a clouded mind and heavy eyes, you looked to his face, finding the sight the cherry on top of the best night of your entire life. “Did that feel good?”

“So good, Danny.” You whimpered, the intensity of the orgasm still lingering over your entire body. His eyes fluttered closed, his heartbeat rapid in his chest as he felt his own climax begin to take over. He continued with his pace for a few seconds, savouring every last bit of having you so close to him. When he knew he could not wait any longer, he pulled out in just enough time. Your grip on his arm remained steady as he spilled his release onto your stomach, his jaw tense as profanities lingered in the air.

The two of you remained in the same position for a while, heavy breathing and the memory of the night lingering in the air even long after it was over. Your hand remained on his arm, loosening into a soft touch as you clung to every bit of closeness the moment had to offer. His large hand still holding your thigh was comforting, and the warmth of his skin offset the chill of your apartment. Slowly, you reached up, cupping his face in your hand. You let your thumb drift over his cheek, gently caressing the skin and pulling his attention back to you. There was a smile lingering on his lips, his chest still rising and falling as he tried to catch up on his breathing. You smiled too, telling him everything that was on your mind without even needing to say a word.

Then, you spoke. One tiny little word that in reality, meant little to most people. To the two of you, it was everything.

“Stay.” The word was so quiet it barely reached his ears before it dissipated in the air, but he caught it. He would strain to listen for every word that left your lips, never willing to miss a single thing even if you thought it was unimportant.

“Was never going to leave, anyway.” He promised, turning his head ever so slightly to place a kiss to the pad of your thumb. The small action made your heart race, but his words did more for you. You couldn’t comprehend the idea of someone wanting to stay, but he wasn’t giving you any opportunity to disregard it. “We should get cleaned up, though. You’re freezing.” He noted, reaching up to grab your hand in his own. He closed his hand around your fingers, warming the cold skin immediately.

“Okay,” you nodded, but you didn’t really want to. If you could, you would have lived in the moment forever. “I should shower.” You said, glancing down at your stomach. He gave a light chuckle, his eyes apologetic as he nodded, too. Then, after a moment of shared silence, an idea struck him.

“Showering together saves water, you know.” He offered the idea, nervous to overstep.

“I do care a lot about the environment.” You grinned, hoping he knew he could never overstep with you.

“Let’s get to it, then.” He said, moving back from you just for long enough to help you off the table. You stood, careful not to make a mess, but quickly realizing you did not care. “Lead the way, Utah.” It was a phrase he’d coined that day, and would live to follow for the rest of his life. He never felt uncertain or worried as long as you were there to guide him. With a matching grin plastered on your cheeks, you grabbed his hand, taking off into a sprint down the short hallway to lead him to the bathroom.

For once, your sorrows seemed to be far away, and instead of screaming with loneliness and poverty, your old, run down apartment finally had a lingering sense of home.

You weren’t sure how long it would last, but you knew you would savour every minute of it until the fleeting moments finally disappeared. Or, until he disappeared. You tried to bargain with whichever would come first, but you knew that the two went hand in hand. The feeble relief of happiness was fully accredited to him, and you knew it would come and go along with him, too. Thought of the end pained you, even if it was only the beginning. It lingered over your head, a constant threat you felt the need to be weary of, because you knew that not only would you lose Danny, but also the feeling of finally being happy after an entire lifetime spent searching for it.

TAGLIST: @imleavingyoufornewyork @itsafullmoon @bladenotblaze @jessicafg03 @dont-go-home-without-me @peaceloveunitygvf @torniturntomyarrow @lostoverseer @clairesjointshurt @jordie-gvf @lallisonl @smoking-jakelane @gretavangirlie @hollyco @aintthatapity

[httpsv33]

Why won't you ask me out? (Shinichiro Sano X gn reader)

So this is my first short story! I have a particular liking towards Shinichiro so I thought using him to start would be safe. Bare in mind that english is not my first language, therefore I am open to any feedback. I hope you enjoy!

Trigger warnings: MDNI, nsfw, mentions of sex, cursing, physical touch, shower sex.

Category: fluff

Others: the characters Shinichiro and Benkei belong to Ken Wakui, no proof read

You slowly fluttered your eyes open as the shifting weight on the mattress next to you pulled you out of your slumber.

"Shin?..."  You mumbled with a raspy morning voice. "Morning" he gave you a sleepy smile "did I wake you up? Sorry" he apologized as he played with your hair softly.

The clothes laying around the room helped you recall last night's events "it's okay" you stretched your limbs as you took a look at the clock on the bedside table -5.30 a.m- "gotta get to the shop early today?".

His lanky figure searched in the closet for clothes to put on after a quick shower "Yeah, Benkei asked me to take a look at his bike's carburettor" you couldn't help but admire his naked body, just like you had done for more than a couple of times now. In fact it had been going on for more than month. As much as you enjoyed the sex and all the time spent next to him, the fact that he didn't seem to have any intention to have a serious relationship with you bothered you incresingly every night that passed by.

"He said it was pretty urgent" you finally shifted your attention to his face, he still had that sleepy expression you were used to look at most mornings "I should get ready too, I have to buy groceries before my shift".

Shinichiro chuckled softly "you can jump in the shower with me then" he couldn't help but draw a snarky smirk on his face.

"Sure" despite the bitter sweet feeling the offer awoke in your chest, you managed to lift yourself up and walk toward the bathroom, knowing damn well what was about to come.

You walked out of the shower with shaky legs, holding onto Shin's arm with one hand. The man had a satisfied look on his face as he pulled you closer to him to wrap the two of you in a towel "was it too much?~" he said sheepishly "shut up" you flicked his forehead playfully as he giggled.

After you both were ready he offered you a ride home, wich you refused, you needed to clear your head. You needed some time away from his infatuating charm to finally be able to think staright. Where were you going with this? How long could you keep up with that weird situationship that never seemed to end? "Ugh" you grunted to yourself. You couldn't quite wrap your head around the fact that he had asked about 20 other women out without hesitation, and wouldn't ask you out for the world. The fact that you had been friends since highschool perhaps made things more delicate, however, ever since you first kissed him in his shop after the closing hour more than a month ago you both had been acting like a couple. Texting each other every few hours, cuddling, kissing, fucking. What upset you the most, however, was the fact that when anyone was around his arms would unwrap from your waist and he would act like a normal friend once again.

You didn't think Shin was one to play around with women, no, he wasn't that kind of guy.  Your decision was solid. That same night you would talk to him, you would ignore his lustful manner, or perhaps it was your own that you had to avoid, and you would have the serious talk you'd been practicing for weeks now.

Nearing his shop's closing hour you dropped by, breathing in deeply before pushing the door open. "Welcome, what can I do for you-" he said, still focused on the bike he was working on, before turning around to look at you "-hey 's you" he stood up with a warm smile spreading across his lips. A smile so charming that made you knees weak and so sweet that left your tongue numb.

"Hey-" you smiled softly "-you done for today?" "Nearly" he pulled you into a warm hug and pecked your head softly "how come you came by? We didn't have any plans for today, did we?".

Your hands were sweaty as you played with the rings on your fingers in an attempt to calm the anxiety that corrupted your whole body "Can we talk?".

The black haired guy looked at you surprised by your words, the seriousness on your face made him worry, fearing that you were bringing bad news with you "Of course, come, take a sit".

You sat next to him on the couch he had in the back of the shop "Are you okay?" he asked placing his hand on top of yours "Yeah... well... yeah..." The speech you had been rehersing for a while now had been completely erased from your mind by the fear of ruining your relationship with him for good.

"Hey, 's okay, talk to me" you swallowed harshly, his reasuring words helping you process your thoughts a little more clearly. "Why have you never asked me out formally?" you blurted breathlessly "you've never seemed to have a problem asking women out, so why are you doing this with me? It makes me feel like you just want something to do with me when you're needy and, fuck, Shin, I have liked you for years now and you seemed to pursue anyone but me-" your rant was cut off by the hand the guy placed on your cheek "y/n listen" he stared at you with his obsidian eyes and a serious expression as he tried to organise his thoughts "I didn't ask because I simply thought you wouldn't want something serious with me, I thought I couldn't aim higher than that"  he smiled awkwardly "you are gorgeous in every way possible, I just didn't think you could ever be into me like that".

After a few seconds of silence that felt like would never end you finally spoke "you are stupid" you tried to stay serious but you couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdness of the situation. He followed you, slightly giggling although still a bit confused about what was happening. "Well, you should try, I might say yes" you said playfully as you stood up. "Oh yeah?" he smirked following you "then I might try".

You pulled the door to exit the shop "hey, were are you going?" he held the door, confused "to enjoy my time as a single womam, hopefully it will end soon" you smirked sheepishly looking his way "good night, coward" you whispered against his lips before giving him a soft peck.

The next day you had just come out of the shower whem the sound of the doorbell echoed through the small appartment. At first you had it was your roommate, who had forgotten their key once again, however, you couldn't help but smile excitedly when you looked through the peephole. "What are you doing here?" you grinned as you opened the door for him "just closed the shop so I thought I'd  drop by" you noticed how his hands shifted behind his back "oh really? What for?".

The warm grin spreading through his face melted your heart completely, how could he be so gorgeous? "I thought maybe it was time to ask" he pulled a bouquet of red tulips from behing his back "Would you be my girlfriend?" he spoke softly as he tried to stay calm, although the both of you knew what the outcome would be, the excitement was overwhelming.

Without hesitaton you pulled him in by his collar and crushed your lips together in a sweet but eager manner "It was about time" you whispered "of course I will".

His heart fluttered as he felt your lips against his, it never failed to warm his heart like nothing else could. He was happy, the happiest he had been in years, it showed im the way his lips danced softly with yours and his free hand caressed your cheek in a loving manner.

"I love you" you muttered as you rested your forehead against his "I love you too". These words weren't unfamiliar for you both, in fact, it wasn't the first or the second time you shared them, but they now felt as truthful and caring as ever.

That was all for today, I hope you liked it as much I did writing it aaaa. Have an amazing day!

-Vee

[jonathanthetranswriter]

Why School Should Be A Safe Place- Another Rant

Everyone's experience at school is different. It depends on where you live, how old you are, what teachers you get, ect ect. Most kids hate school- waking up early, doing work, being told what to do. It's most kids' nightmares, and it can be hell if you're somehow atypical. However, school should be a place where people feel safe.

Speaking from personal experience, elementary and middles school was hell for me. I didn't understand why I was so frustrated- why I needed to be perfect. I didn't comprehend when my friends were using me. I didn't know why every teachers making good examples out of me still made me feel awkward. Nothing made sense, so I went with it. I just assumed school was torture and pain and nothing else. For everyone. Ever. Seeing people who had fun in those years made me feel like I was doing everything wrong. Like there was some sort of code I was missing. Then I got to high school. Covid made for a rocky start, but once I was able to get there, I realized I had been so wrong about a lot of things. Once teachers started using my name and pronouns, I felt human. Once they stopped telling students to be like me, I felt comfortable. I now had teachers who listened. I didn't have to suffer in shame wondering what was wrong with me- they understood without me saying a word.

Then I made friends. Friends who didn't want me because I had the answers to the test. Friends who didn't want to dump feelings and emotions on me without asking and without being willing to listen in turn. Friends who didn't talk shit behind my back. I could joke with them, laugh with them. I could tell them how I felt and they'd respond. We could set boundaries and respect them. I was finally able to let go. In the back of my mind, everything kind of stuck, but the thoughts were whispers rather than yells. I had a support system. I didn't have to worry anymore. I was fine. I could be myself. That's huge. When I go home, I have to place everything about myself in a box. My gender, my sexuality, my self expression, my fixations. Everything that I can share, do, BE when I'm at school, I have to pack it up. I have to change myself entirely. I can't bring up LGBTQ+ topics- too many arguments. I can't stim- I'm weird or on drugs. I can't talk about my interests- no one wants to hear that.

What if I had to do that all day? What if I had to keep myself in a box day in and day out? What if I wasn't safe anywhere?

That's the issue, sadly, in too many places. Boxes can only hold so much for so long. They give out eventually. That's why there are so many suicides. Boxes break and no one has the energy to tape it up. No one should have to. You need to be able to be yourself somewhere that's not online. The internet can be a wonderful outlet- that's true- but nothing compares to being able to be yourself out in the world. Your childhood- as in from the moment you're born to the moment you're legally an adult- is meant to be a time of discovery, love, and enjoyment. It's not supposed to hurt all the time. Bumps and bruises here and there are expected- but you shouldn't always have a concussion. If you can't find yourself, you're going to have a hard time adjusting to adulthood. Dealing with the guilt and self-hatred that comes along with seeing everyone else being so sure in their identities is not a great feeling.

I don't even know if this rant made sense- but the takeaway is this: Grades aren't real, school's for self discovery and if you're not safe to do that then it's bullshit.

[kyupidos]

hii i really love your works !!! i would die for you if you'd write something like about fem!mc dating vil, but with friends she's silly and uninhibited and stuff and with vil she IMMEDIATELY gets humble and starts to shy away cuz he's too pretty and gorgeous and she kinda feels insecure around him :( bonus points if she's chubby eh

(SORRY if it sounds weird lol also my english is kinda bad)

7/09/24’s delivery 🏹✉️ twisted wonderland

the way she is with me!ヽ( ･∀･)ﾉ_θ彡☆Σ(ノ `Д´)ノ,ヽ( ･∀･)ﾉ_θ彡☆Σ(ノ `Д´)ノ ;; summary. ‘you’re vil schoenheit’s lover—hey you don’t know how but you are. albeit, you can feel a little undeserving of it…of course, he disagrees.’

characters. pomefiore : vil schoenheit ( separate ) ;; romantic . 🖇️ tags. reader is gender neutral ( you/your ), reader is yuu, romantic fluff

📡 _a/n. oh how i love this ask <33 sorry this took me a bit, given it’s the school year’s end i’ve had to deal with things like my younger sister’s graduation, joining the volleyball club…but i hope this reaches you and you enjoy it!! ( btw i don’t write for fem readers, so i made this gender neutral ^-^ )

v. schoenheit

— “hehe..honestly, he’s seriously the best boyfriend i could ever have… not like i’ve had any others,” you giggled wistfully to your first year friends, some more willing to listen than others ( guess who ). deuce smiled at your ramblings, betting tails as ace betted heads on a bet you didn’t know anything about ( though jack, sebek, and grim all seemed invested ), while epel joined you, albeit, clearly less on the fact of giggling to partake in vil’s praise.

— epel tilted his head with a sigh, “i don’t get how you never stop finding a way to praise him. sometimes you’re kind of like rook, y’know?” at that you just scoffed playfully with a chuckle, messily taking a largely portioned bite out of your food. ace turned to you just to pinch your cheek lightly to tease, “maybe clean up your face as you talk about him too, huh?” you swatted his hand away though, sticking out your tongue at him with a grin as he turned to grim who also started to place bets, but instead with his tuna, the others deciding to do the same ( not like you noticed ).

— you just shrugged your shoulders as epel awaited a response, “i’m just happy, i guess. i lucked out big time to be able to have a lover like him, y’know?” you grinned, and epel smiled at your comment. “maybe, but’cha know, i bet he lucked out with you,” he spoke with his usual expression of tongue slipping slightly as he messily ate his own food, not leaving a lick untouched.

— one final snort of amusement to yourself, you played with your food for what barely felt like a second before taking a larger bite out of it than before. no, you definitely lucked out more, and you know because vil invited you to spend time after school in his dorm room.

— you just barely moved a tad with your nose scrunched, laying in vil’s lap as he pampered you and gave you skincare as you laid in his face. the most he did, unlike before you started dating when you were simply well acquainted and nearing the unspoken terms of friendship where he calmly scolded you for making unsavory facial expressions, was tap your nose to relax it, and you in the process.

— “really my dear,” vil smiled down at you handsomely, “you should do your best not to move.” you wanted to respond as he continued to fufill his task of completing your facial routine for you, but you got lost in his ethereal eyes, as you usually did. a part of you was always unsure how you managed to even score the first date with him. after all, you were merely a speck of dust compared to the vil schoenheit. you knew he loved you for a fact, but you couldn’t help but feel yourself paling in comparison to him.

— you looked up at him from where you laid, still practically at a loss for words from your awe as he looked back at you relaxed but concerned by your expression given you were never one to be able to hide your feelings without strain. “sorry, it’s just,” you finally managed to get out the words with the feeling like your throat was just barely managed to spit them out as your heart twirled, “vil, you’re so…pretty. i don’t know how i’m able to call myself your lover like this.”

— just then, his shoulders relaxed as he’d taken a break from his pampering to listen to you closely, his face adorning a calm and understanding smile as he did, before closing his eyes to laugh your words off. “my love, i’d argue how much i feel the same. you’re pretty just the same, i’ll always be in love with your beauty, do you understand?” he cupped your cheek lightly, as to not make his efforts to care for your face useless. “not to mention how much of a lovely person you are, i feel lucky to have you beside me.”

— you had half a mind to turn your face away to not have to look him in the eyes in your sudden shyness, but you forced yourself not to as you know it’d get rid of his hard work. “heheh… i’m glad.” and to reflect that, vil put down his cosmetics beside him and leaned down to hug your figure where he could from his position ( it read mostly as him cradling you ), you gaining the confidence do to the same.

— “don’t forget how much i love you, dear.”

( EXTRA. )

— you giggled through a breath of relief as you sat with your friends at lunch again, “i guess you were right epel,” you turned to him as he held a breath in his pride with his shoulders stiffened slightly to show it, “he was lucky to have me too, i guess.” you were barely able to register the way jack and sebek looked at the other three with one proclaiming it more calmly than the other,

— “guess we won the bet. told you the both of them would be vocal about their luck.”

— “[y/n]’s always vocal and vil’s not one to lie, it was an easy bet to make!”

— “hey, what the hell?!”

[tired-teacher-blog]

Hi! if you don’t have too many requests, but if you do dont worry about this. Hawks with a s/o who doesn’t have much self worth, always criticise’s them selves. him comforting them after their therapist ghosts them (totally not self indulgent)

I hope you're feeling better sweetie, and here I have our precious Hawks ready to soothe your heart ❤️

Title : A night stroll

Characters : Hawks/ Gender neutral reader

Genre : Angst/Fluff/ One shot

Trigger Warning : Anxieties/ Low self esteem/ Mental therapy

Masterlist|Second Masterlist

"This is weird, why isn't he picking up?"

You muttered as you tried calling your therapist for the fourth time that day. You were supposed to have a session two days ago but when you showed up at his office as per the appointment agreed upon, his secretary told you he was too busy to see you, and didn't even have the courtesy to reschedule for you, even after you politely asked her to.

Her response was as ambiguous as her boss's behavior when she asked you to call him yourself for a reschedule.

"Should I call again? What's going on?"

Your heart sank as your mind wondered to the worst case scenarios.. was your doctor not feeling well enough to see you? was he bored of you already? did he give up on the possibility of you getting better? were your problems too much to handle even for a professional?

As farfetched as that last part might be, your growing anxieties and non-existent confidence and self worth made it seem like a reasonable point..

_ "Ah.. hello!" finally he picked up.

_ "Yes, hello." his assistant answered instead, even though you were calling his personal number.. strange.

_ "It's y/n calling to reschedule please."

_ "Right, sorry but Doctor (name) will no longer be able to see you, so he will forward you to one of his trusted colleagues, let me pass you their phone number, they're already aware of your condition and agreed to take you in."

_ "Another doctor?" you couldn't understand the issue, neither could you find it in yourself to ask.

You simply thanked the woman and hung up the phone before collapsing on the couch.

So it was true, he gave up on you for some reason and didn't even have the decency to give you an explanation.

Honestly though, why would anyone bother explaining themselves to you? Why would you think that you deserve any kindness right now when your whole life has been a constant reminder that you don't?

It's shameful really, you genuinely thought that you were doing well with your therapy, even Keigo thought so too.. Keigo..

Will he ever leave you too? He had never given you a reason to suspect that he would, neither had he ever missed a chance to remind you of his undying love, and as happy as it should make you feel, knowing that he could easily do better never left your brain.

You felt like you were drowning, that maybe it would be best if you just disappeared, even Keigo's life would definitely be better without you..

_ ".. you okay?"

You flinched as a familiar warm hand held yours gently.

_ "K.. Keigo" how did he manage to get in without you noticing? How long had he been there? Were you so lost in your self pity to notice him approaching?

_ "What's going on beautiful? I've been calling your name for a while but you were too distracted to hear me." his eyebrows furrowed and his signature smirk was nowhere to be seen.. yeah, that was your doing, you managed to trouble the one you loved the most, and the realization felt like a spear piercing your heart.

_ "I'm fine, really, it's nothing I promise." you lied through your teeth and he knew it.

_ "It's me y/n, you know you can talk to me about anything right? I know you're only pretending to be alright so you wouldn't worry me, but all I want is for you to talk to me freely." his hold on your hand tightened, and you knew you owed him at least that much.

You started talking, not only about your doctor abandoning you, but also about everything his action inflicted on you.

And for once, you held nothing back and expressed in great detail your fears and your overwhelming low self esteem, your shame and your feeling of unworthiness, and especially the suffocation that comes when all those dark thoughts battle inside your head.

He listened to you carefully, gently wiping your tears away and kissing the back of your hand reassuringly, but never dared interrupting you because it was the first time you spoke so openly to him.

He knew how you felt already even if you didn't say it outright— of course he did, but hearing you finally talk straightforwardly was a definite step in the right direction.

You looked up hesitantly, only to be met with a big smile that strangely soothed you a lot more than the countless sessions you had with your doctor.

_ "I'm happy you're finally able to talk to me with no hesitation, but first, wanna go out with me?" his smile remained and you found yourself nodding instantly.

He stood up, pulling you along, but instead of walking to the front door, he went straight to the balcony, "oh yeah, we're gonna fly."

You opened your mouth to protest but a yelp came out instead as he picked you up in his arms and jumped out of your fifth floor appartement.

Your screams were buried in his neck as he carried your tense body.

_ "You trust me don't you?" he whispered against your temple before placing a soft kiss on your skin.

You nodded fervently but your face remained deep in the crook of his neck. You felt his chuckles rumbling in his throat, "then look up."

It took you a moment to do so, but when you finally found the courage to open your eyes, you were met with the most beautiful sight in the world. The big clear night sky decorated with countless stars, the city lights underneath your feet, the soft clean air fanning over your face, and most importantly, you were sharing all this with him.

_ "Keigo, this is amazing!" and for once your heart felt lighter.

_ "Take a deep breath honey," he urged and you obeyed, immediately regretting all the times he begged you to go out with him like that and you refused, "your doctor is a jerk, I cannot believe someone like that is allowed to treat people, but you know what? you're actually lucky he did what he did, I'll pull a few strings and find you a much better one in no time I promise."

_ "You would? really?" though it shouldn't come as a surprise that your boyfriend has some influence— being the number two hero and one of the most powerful people in the country.

_ "I would do anything for you, no matter what it is," his bright smile never failed to soothe your heart, "listen carefully y/n, because I'll say this as many times as it takes for you to believe it, and then some.. I love you so much and I always will, so please never doubt.."

You didn't know what came over you all of a sudden, but you had the urge to kiss him and so you did. You felt him smiling against your lips before nibbling on your lower one playfully, you were so lost in him, that you didn't realize when he landed on top of a building until your feet had finally touched the ground.

_ "I'm proud of you y/n, you are truly strong even if you fail to see it," he took your hands in his and kissed them as you two stood at the edge of the tall building, "I have no doubt that you are capable of overcoming any obstacle that faces you, and I will be holding your hand while you do it."

_ "I don't know what to say Keigo except, I love you," you smiled as you tilted your head to the side, "you've always believed in me when no one else did, I'm sorry for constantly pushing you away when all you've ever wanted was to see me happy." your smile suddenly disappeared as the overwhelming feeling of guilt took over you.

_ "Of course I believe in you! you've been fighting your whole life while counting on no one but yourself, you've accomplished so much and that's admirable," he cradled your cheeks while gently lifting your head up, "there is no reason for you to apologize because you did nothing wrong, I'm just happy you're finally comfortable enough to share everything with me, and to allow me to support you just as you've always supported me."

_ "I'm happy too! I just wish I did a lot sooner." you placed your hands on top of his and squeezed them gently.

_ "Well, nothing is lost beautiful, we have all the time in the world."

And he was right, opening up to him was the best thing you allowed yourself to do.

That night, on top of that tall building, you made a promise to never push him away again, a promise that brought you both happiness.

[cheeriecherry]

I AM LOSING MY MIND THINKING ABOUT THE WEIRD ROOMMATE VIKTOR FIC I NEED IT NOW ASAP

With most of the school closed down because of the weather, there’s next to nowhere you can go to avoid Viktor: nowhere that would make sense, at least. He’s already caught on to the fact that you’ve been ignoring him, so if you were to up and disappear again, it would certainly damage your friendship, if it wasn’t already. You manage to get a couple more hours of sleep after initially waking though, tired after so many early days and late nights, but there comes a point when you’re not able to deal with laying down anymore; the stillness and silence becomes suffocating.

Viktor is in the same place you last saw him before your nap - sitting comfortably at the desk across the room, lazily going over his various notes and studies. He doesn’t notice you sit up in bed, too engrossed in whatever he’s working on, and you take a moment to get a good look at him. The circles under his eyes are darker than they usually are, and his complexion is more pallid and sunken. It hurts your heart to wonder if you’re the cause, knowing that your absence has likely been one of his sources of stress. And when you’d canceled your lunch meetings, had he actually eaten those days? It kills you to think that you have such an impact on him, both physical and mental, and you internally scold yourself for being so stupid about everything. So what if I have romantic feelings for him? You think, as you watch your friend scribbling furiously on a piece of paper. Having him as a friend is more important. Making sure he takes care of himself is more important. But you know that you’re not going to be able to be his best friend if your head is always filled with the question of ‘what if?’. What if there was a chance? What if there wasn’t? You wouldn’t be able to rest until you knew for certain.

“Vik?” you say quietly, your voice halfway to broken. The man in question looks up from his work, his expression at first perturbed, and then concerned when he sees you staring at him with tears in your eyes. His soft utterance of your name, followed by his immediate rush to your side, is enough to make the tears bubble over. “I don’t want you to hate me,” you sniffle, as he sits down beside you on the bed. He doesn’t even need to ask you what the matter is; you’re so pent up with emotion that everything comes falling out before you’re able to stop it. “I don’t want to lose you! I don’t want my stupid feelings to drive a wedge between us and make it so you’re not my best friend anymore! But I can’t be a good friend to you if I’m so caught up on wondering if you could also have feelings for me, but if you don’t then I don’t want us to drift apart, and-” your voice cracks and you stop, wiping furiously at your eyes while you glare at the floor.

And then a warm pair of hands tenderly encircle your face, pulling you ever so slightly closer, thumbs gently smoothing away your tears. You risk looking up at Viktor, risk seeing his ire, but find nothing of the sort - instead you find his kindness, and his care, and the warmth he held only for you, shining bright in amber eyes. “You care for me?” he asks, a wide smile barely contained. You nod, begging him to not let your feelings ruin your friendship - but his smile only widens. “Zlatíčko,” He mumbles, leaning forward. You’re confused for a split second, until his gaze darts down to your lips: without thinking, you meet him halfway. The kiss is a little awkward, with neither of you really knowing what you’re doing: you’re both grinning like idiots, and you bump your nose into his by accident at one point, too. But regardless of your personal experience, when you finally pull back, you’re glowing and breathless. Viktor releases his hold in your jaw, and instead wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you down onto the bed to devolve into a fit of mirthful laughter. You’re not sure how long you lay there on top of the blankets, tucked up in his arms and listening to the beat of his heart: minutes, maybe hours. Despite the frigid weather outside, you’re warm and content and happy with Viktor.

[cjsinkythoughts]

The Shield

Paring: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 5595

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, John Walker, Emotions, Character Death, Mentions of Blood, I know people had a hard time with that last scene so please take caution because it is in this part! GIF at end is the ending scene, so be careful when you get towards the bottom! I feel like I’m forgetting some, so just know this one’s a bit more than the others.

A/N: Here it is, folks! The Part we’ve all been waiting for! It’s the longest one I’ve written so far but so much happened and I couldn’t find a better spot to end it than where the episode ended. Thank you all for being patient with me today. I know I didn’t get this out as quickly as I would’ve the past few weeks, but you guys are so awesome! Seriously! I love that you understand I do have a life and work comes first! Thank you, thank you!

This Part is a doozy, guys, and…I’m sorry? But not really. I’m SUPER excited to see where this is gonna go, especially considering Episode 5 is supposed to be the real tear jerker. I can’t believe there’s only two more episodes! I’ve grown so attached to these characters just in the past month! I’m so glad I’m able to share some of my thoughts and feelings with you guys, too! You’re honestly the best!

I’ll be doing more One Shots this week, so look for those on the Masterlist. I’m still taking requests for them, so if there’s anything you want explored about the reader and her relationships that you don’t think will be explored in this Series, just ask and I’ll try to add it to the One Shot list.

As always, this isn’t beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you for reading, be kind to yourself and others, enjoy this part and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

(I couldn’t decide on which GIF to use because there are so many good ones! Thank you Tumblr Creators!)

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

“Doll…hey. Doll. C’mon, sweetheart. We gotta get moving.”

You cracked your eyes open begrudgingly, squinting up to see Bucky’s amused grin, head tilted and eyes soft. “Huh?”

He chuckled as you rubbed your eyes, confusion lifting an eyebrow. “The funeral. Zemo said we’ve gotta go if we’re gonna make it in time.”

“Wait, but…huh?”

Sniggering again at your reaction, he held up your phone. “You passed out in the middle of a chapter, sleepyhead.” He teased lightly, grabbing your hand and gently pulling you to sit upright. “It’s almost been an hour.”

You huffed tiredly, stretching and placing your feet on the floor, taking back the phone he held out to you. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“You haven’t been sleeping well.” He stated, like it should’ve been obvious. “How’s your arm feeling?”

“Better than earlier. It’s just sore. That’s all.”

He studied your features for any hint of a lie. Not finding one, he nodded, holding out his hand. “Okay. But tell me if it starts bothering you.”

You placed your hand in his, marveling for a split second at how big his hands were compared to yours - something you noticed every time but still it never ceased to astound you. He tugged you up, and you looked up to meet his worried eyes, remembering his question.

“I will, Buck. Promise.”

He nodded, tilting his head towards the door. “C’mon, cuddle bug. We don’t wanna miss this.”

A groan passed your lips, but you nodded and followed Bucky out into the main room, where Sam chuckled at you from his spot at the table. “Sleeping beauty has finally awoken.”

You flipped Sam off groggily. “Are we going or not?”

“Do you wanna wake up s’more first?”

“No.” You answered the one armed brunette. “I’ll just splash some water on my face or something. I’ll be fine by the time we get there. Where’s-”

“Looking for me?”

Zemo strolled out, now dressed in that coat of his, that smug smirk on his lips. You scowled. “I wish I wasn’t.”

Sam stood up, standing subconsciously between you and Zemo. “Let’s head out.”

You nodded in agreement, shooting the Baron one more glare, before following him out the door and into the city, Bucky right besides you, shoulders brushing as if you weren’t ignoring him just hours prior.

The walk was mostly silent, a few jests between Bucky and Sam plus a couple comments from Zemo here and there. You talked about strategy, with Sam bringing up the fact that he wanted to try convincing Karli to step down. Zemo didn’t look pleased with the arrangement, but both you and Bucky relented, agreeing to let Sam at least try.

It wasn’t until you were close to your destination according to Zemo that anything exciting happened.

“Karli Morgenthau is too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit!”

Hell. No. 

The moment the voice registered in your brain, your jaw tightened, your teeth starting to grind together as you held back the very not nice things you wanted to say. 

“Ah! How’d you find us now?” Bucky called out, tucking you into his side protectively, and a little possessively you noted, as Walker and Hoskins came down the steps, the two groups nearing each other.

You were relieved when the subject of Zemo escaping jail went by relatively quickly, Walker latching onto the fact that you were going to talk to Karli instead of focusing on the escaped fugitive in front of him.

You very nearly punched him when he ran in front of you after Sam told him the plan, making the four of you stop in your tracks, but Bucky’s arm tightened around your shoulders, holding you in place next to him.

“You’re gonna let him do this?” Walker questioned Bucky in disbelief, self righteous judgement practically dripping from your tone. “You’re gonna let your partner walk into a room with a super soldier alone?”

Bucky’s jaw ticked. “He’s dealt with worse. And he’s not my partner.”

“And you?” Walker narrowed his eyes towards you. “I expected more from you; the last original Avenger.”

You snorted, shaking your head. He obviously didn’t know how chaotic the Avengers were. What Sam was proposing? You’d seen it a million times with Steve alone. Not considering Nat, Clint, Thor, even Bruce and Tony. All of them willing to try to negotiate before running in, bullets raining and hell rising. “First, I’m not the last original. I’m technically not even an original. Second, I trust Sam with my life and I’m standing by his decision. He’s my brother. As a soldier, I would’ve thought you understood that.”

Before he could respond, Sam stepped around Bucky. You saw the reluctance in Walker’s eyes as he admitted a temporary defeat once Hoskins agreed with Sam. The fact that he was so unwilling to try to save more lives - including Karli’s - made the truth that he wasn’t, and would never, be your Captain harden deeper into your heart.

Ignoring Walker’s confusion as you followed the little girl Zemo befriended - which was weird, you’d admit, but it was getting you closer to Karli - Bucky’s arm slipped from your shoulders, hand sliding across your back and skimming down your arm to grip your hand. Even through your jacket, you felt goosebumps erupt along his fingers’ trail.

You finally came to your destination and you let out a small breath. If everything went smoothly, this mission could finally be over and you could go home and take a bath, get take out, get out a bottle of wine, watch TV, and just relax.

What a dream.

“Hey.” You stopped Sam before he could go through the entrance of where the girl said Karli was, holding his forearm. “You want me to come with you?”

He shook his head. “I think it’ll be better if I go alone.”

You nodded, letting go without any hesitance. “Okay. Be careful.”

“Always.” And despite all you’ve been through, no matter how many times he’s followed Steve’s lead in doing something stupid, you knew he meant it. You nodded again, before he disappeared around the corner.

You leaned back against the wall, Bucky once again wrapping an arm around your shoulder now that you weren’t walking - he liked having mobility on the move, hence the reason he held your hand instead - leaning besides you and pulling you against his chest.

Ten minutes. You tried looking at Bucky’s watch, which was on the wrist of the arm around you. He noticed and turned his wrist slightly, bending his elbow more, which brought you even closer to him, showing you the time.

Giving a small sigh, you nodded slightly and dropped your head back against his bicep, your hands shoving in your pockets, one of your feet coming up to rest against the wall. Bucky shifted to your other side so he could stand in front of the doors to where Karli and Sam were, pulling you against his back, arms wrapping around your shoulders tightly.

It was a long ten minutes. You kept eyeing Walker, and you couldn’t help the anger burning through you as he held the shield in his hands. That damn shield. It wasn’t his. It would never be his. And he would never understand it. The fact that the shield didn’t make Captain America. The shield isn’t what made Steve a good man. Not even the Serum did. He already was one. Steve made the shield what it was, not the other way around.

But then you remembered a conversation you had, years ago, and your eyes flitted up to Bucky’s hardened face, the brunette staring intensely at the ground.

~

You didn’t get it. You were confused. You knew how important Barnes - Bucky - was to Steve. But apparently you didn’t understand it quite yet.

You watched from the entrance of the hallway, leaning against the wall, as Bucky went under once more.

Steve stood there for a moment longer, before turning and walking towards you. “Why’d you do it?”

He raised an eyebrow at you while you turned to walk with him down the hall. “Do what?”

“Give up the shield. And don’t say it doesn’t belong to you. It does. Howard gave it to you. You’re the reason it’s…a symbol.”

He hummed. “And what exactly is it a symbol for, honey?”

You scoffed. “Uh, freedom? Justice? Resilience? The defense of the whole life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness thing?”

He stopped, facing you with a strange expression on his face, thoughtful. “I dropped it because I can’t be that anymore. Not right now. People don’t have the same beliefs they used to have. How can I stand up for freedom and let the Sokovia Accords track every person they deem a threat, just like HYDRA tried doing? How can I be a symbol for justice and let Bucky take the fall for something that he wasn’t in control of? I can’t. And until the world is ready to change…I can’t be Captain America.”

~

And suddenly, it seemed to click. Steve gave up the shield for Bucky because the world wasn’t ready to admit it was wrong. Just like Sam gave up the shield for himself and his family because the world wasn’t ready for the truth that would come with him becoming Captain America.

God…when did a metal circle become so complicated?

“What’s goin’ on in that pretty lil’ head’a yours?” His whisper in your ear startled you out of your thoughts, his nose brushing against your temple tenderly as he placed a chaste kiss on your cheek.

You looked up at him and shook your head. Of all the things Steve gave up, he never gave up Bucky. And it used to confuse you, but you understood then. His blue eyes sparkling with curiosity and slight concern, his fingers tracing patterns along your collarbone with a barely-there touch that was so light it didn’t seem to exist. You finally understood. Not just Steve’s decision, but Sam’s too. And maybe you didn’t understand it fully, and that was okay, because you weren’t them, so you never would, but you understood a little bit.

“Nothing.” You shook your head, keeping your voice down so the others couldn’t hear, the conversation being a private one, “I’m just waiting for this to be over.”

He hummed, nodding in agreement, setting his chin on your head. “Me too.”

Walker started pacing the room about half way through, getting too antsy for your liking. “Shhh.” Bucky mumbled under his breath, feeling you tense as Walker started talking. “It hasn’t been ten minutes, John. Just sit tight.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t patronize me.”

“He knows what he’s doing.” Bucky stated confidently, straightening slightly from his leaning position, arms falling from your form. The two of you exchanged glances as Walker checked the clock over on the far wall, blocked from your view.

“I’m going in.” Walker strode across the room, heading for the entrance, no doubt willing to steam roll anything - anyone - in his way.

Bucky stopped him with a hand on his chest. You glanced back and forth between the two as Walker spoke, arms crossed tightly over your chest. “Buck…we promised him ten minutes.” You reminded him, seeing his resolve crumble a bit. You could guess he was thinking of the nightmares. The people he couldn’t save. The blood he already considered on his hands.

Walker used his moment of hesitation, shoving past him roughly. “I’m not waiting.”

“John!”

“Walker!”

You followed after him, you and Bucky arguing with him and Hoskins about giving Sam more time, but it was too late.

“Karli Morgenthau! You’re under arrest!”

“Fuck.” You hissed out when you saw Sam’s panicked expression, looking at you confused. Walker was flown across the room when Karli punched him, Bucky shoving Hoskins out of the way to run after her.

“Y/N-”

You threw your hands up. “I tried, Sam! C’mon!”

You and Sam ran over to some stairs, turning corners and trying to remember what the building looked like from outside to cut her off, but you only ran into Bucky again. 

“I wish we had the layout or something.” You grumbled. “We were that close-”

“We’re not done yet, doll.” Nodding, you followed the boys out, Bucky pausing every so often to try to hear anything. “I’ve got gunshots.” At that, the three of you took off towards the sound, Bucky leading the way.

Just around the corner from where Bucky heard the gunshots, you thought you saw a couple people slip around another bend. Noticing you had stopped, Bucky backtracked. “You okay?’

“Yeah.” Deciding it wasn’t worth the pursuit, you turned to him and nodded towards the doorway Sam already went through. He gave you a look, but nodded and the two of you jogged into the room.

You sighed heavily, seeing Zemo knocked out on the floor, Walker standing over him and broken vials that were previously full of, what you assumed was, the Serum. Hoskins ran in right after you, meaning no one but Walker and Zemo knew what happened. Meaning you would probably never get the full, true story.

What fun it is to work with manipulators and liars.

********************

“I don’t like him.” Bucky grumbled, the two of you walking up to the place you were staying in, Bucky holding the door open for you.

“I know you don’t, Buck. I don’t either.” You had asked Bucky to go with you to get some fresh air once you got back, Zemo having woken up a few minutes after and Walker and Hoskins had to make a call or something official like the good soldiers they were. “He’s hiding something.”

“You think?” Bucky scoffed, giving you a look.

You rolled your eyes. “I mean…I don’t know. When we found him and Zemo…my gut twisted.”

He nodded in understanding, his face twisting into a scowl. “Yeah. Mine did too.”

You stopped him before you could walk through the door to the main room. “Do me a favor?” He nodded again with a little hum. Catching his chin between your fingers, your free hand moved to smooth out the creases between his brow. “Stop brooding so much. It makes me worried.”

His tongue darted out to wet his lips, features softening slightly. “Are you really gonna leave in the morning? I know you’ve had a lot of people telling you to take a break, and it’s selfish for me to ask you to stay, but…I dunno if I can finish this without you.”

“I-” You sighed, ducking your head as you thought of a response, before looking up in his wide eyes, begging for you to stick around longer. “Let’s just finish the day and see what happens next. Okay?”

He bit his lip, nodding slightly. You gave him a smile, before tugging on his hand. “I need a drink.”

He chuckled at that. “That I can fix, doll.” He, again, opened the door for you, and the two of you walked in.

“What a gentleman. Straight outta the 40’s.” You joked, making him roll his eyes.

He took off his jacket, heading to the kitchen, while you sat on the opposite side of the island. “Somethin’s not right about Walker.”

Sam gave you two an amused look. “You don’t say.”

“Well, I know a crazy when I see one.” He opened the lid of the bottle he grabbed, starting to pour two glasses of whiskey for the both of you. “Because I am crazy.”

You rolled your eyes as Sam responded, “can’t argue with that.”

“You shouldn’t have given him the shield.”

Giving Bucky a disapproving look over the rim of your glass, you sipped your drink, narrowing your eyes when he ignored you. “I didn’t give him the shield.”

“Well Steve definitely didn’t.”

Your glass slammed down on the counter. Why did he have to bring this up right now? Seriously? You were just having a nice conversation about places you wanted to visit while taking a walk outside. Why was he suddenly snapping?

Before you could scold him, the doors burst open, making your head whip over as Walker stormed in, “ordering” you to hand over Zemo.

You stayed sitting, leaning on the counter and facing the opposite wall as Sam told him off, giving an amused snicker as you sipped your drink. Bucky sat besides you, facing Walker, and you recognized from the angle he was positioning himself that he was blocking you from Walker’s view, whether intentional or not.

You raised an eyebrow, turning in interest when Walker put down the shield, knowing Sam wasn’t about to fight the man. What an ego the blonde had.

Before anything could happen, however, a spear pierced through the air, lodging in the pillar next to Walker’s head.

Your frustration with Bucky’s comment flew out of your head as Ayo and a few other Dora Milaje walked in. Bucky sat up straighter and you stood up, leaning ever so slightly against his arm.

You nearly facepalmed, a sound of complete disbelief leaving you as Walker introduced himself. Sam looked over at you two, an entertained, slightly incredulous smile on his face.

Sam tried warning him. He really did. But Walker, you’ve come to find, was an arrogant, egotistical narcissist who only wanted to win and would do whatever it takes to do so. Even when there wasn’t really a winner. At least, not in that situation. It seemed that Walker liked ignoring the gray area in the world, which wasn’t good. Not in the least.

Which is why you couldn’t really feel sorry for the man. You saw it coming as soon as he told them they didn’t have jurisdiction. And the moment he touched Ayo?

You put your chin on Bucky’s shoulder - who had stood up from his spot - watching the Dora Milaje kick Walker’s ass, wincing and cringing mockingly at the right moments, making Bucky smirk at you.

“We should do something.” Sam said, although he didn’t look thrilled about the prospect.

Bucky crossed his arms. “Looking strong, John!”

You gave a slight snort, not wanting to encourage anything, but unable to hold in your amusement. Bucky winked at you, clinking his cup of whiskey with your own, before taking a gulp.

“Bucky.” 

You huffed and stepped back at Sam’s tone. “C’mon, Buck.”

“Fine.” Bucky grunted. “But ‘M not happy about it.”

Soon, the three of you, plus Walker and Hoskins, were all occupied with a member of the Dora Milaje. You knew you couldn’t take them; they were on a higher level that Natasha, and you could barely beat her. But you weren’t necessarily trying to win.

It was a strange fight, knowing that no one - except Walker, probably - actually wanted to hurt anyone. Of course, that didn’t stop one of them from exploiting your injured shoulder that she spotted rather quickly. The hits were quick and precise, the tip of her spear cutting along the graze, hitting the spot just perfect enough to reopen it. The stitches that had been placed only a couple days ago ripped, making you wince and clutch your now bleeding shoulder.

“Oh fuck.” You groaned. “You were always good with those things.”

She gave you an almost apologetic look, before she looked over to Ayo, who stepped through the room towards the bathroom where Zemo had locked himself in during the chaos.

When you caught sight of the shoulder thing she did to Bucky, his metallic arm now laying on the floor, his eyes wide and his stance stunned, your jaw nearly dropped. You guessed it made sense that they had a way to do that, but, still. None of you were expecting it.

“Did you know they could do that?” Sam asked once they started leaving, Bucky picking up his arm and connecting it to his shoulder.

“No.” The arm whirred as he swung it, getting it back to normal.

You couldn’t help the little giggle that left you, making Bucky raise an eyebrow at you. You tried holding in more laughs, but they just kept coming. “She-she...she disarmed you!”

Bucky rolled his eyes as you chortled, holding your stomach and bending over. “Ha ha. Very funny.”

“Oh come on!” You straightened and wiped your eyes. “That was good! Wasn’t it, Sammy?”

Sammy chuckled and nodded. “I’ll admit, it was pretty good. This, however, is not.”

Your laughter died as Sam made his way over to the bathroom, the light air that came with your cackles dissipating as quickly as it came.

“I can’t believe he pulled an El Chapo.”

You stared at the drain that was uncovered - large enough for Zemo to slip inside and escape. He did it. The son of a bitch finally did it. It took him long enough. You would’ve betted against him days ago.

“I can.” Bucky turned and grabbed your hand. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

*********************

“I thought you told them.”

Bucky looked up from wrapping your shoulder, an eyebrow raised. “What?”

“I thought you told them. The Dora Milaje. Wakanda. T’Challa. I thought you told them about Zemo.”

He leaned back with a sigh. “It was kinda a last minute decision. You know that. You were there.”

You nodded. “I do. But I also know what they’ve done for you. Shuri and Ayo. I was there for that, too. And you know what he did to them. To their country. Their king.”

“I know, I know. I almost died several times because of it.”

Your eyebrows pinched in confusion. “So why-”

“I thought it’d be quick. I thought, maybe, I could do it without them finding out and then we could get to Karli and they wouldn’t be disappointed. Win win.”

Your cheek caught between your teeth as you thought. “You could’ve just asked-”

He shook his head. “They would’ve said no. You know that.”

“Okay. Fine. Yes. I know that. But…but giving them a warning would’ve been better than this.” He hung his head, closing his eyes. “Bucky. Hey,” hooking a finger under his chin, you tilted his head back up to look at you. “I know it’s been hard for you. Everything has. And I’m sorry I dragged you into this. I shouldn’t have let you come along. You should be healing, and it’s my fault you’re not.” He opened his mouth, face scrunching up in disagreement, but you shook your head. “It’s true. I just…I didn’t know it would come this far.” You gnawed on your bottom lip studying those captivating eyes, before sighing. “Which is why I’m not leaving.”

He perked up, those pretty eyes going wide, jaw slackening. “You-you’re not?!”

You shook your head. As much as you wanted to run away, you couldn’t. It wouldn’t be right. “It wouldn’t be fair to you or Sam. I promised to help, and I brought you into it. So I’m gonna stay.

“Are you, uh…are you sure? You don’t hafta if you don’t wanna, doll. I know I kinda pushed you earlier, but-”

“I’m sure Buck.” You nodded firmly. “Just…do something for me?”

“I dunno if I can promise not brooding, sweetheart.”

You giggled at his words. “Not that. Just…stop giving Sam a hard time. About the shield. Please.”

His soft features hardened and he scowled. “If he didn’t give it up-”

“He thought it was going to the museum. I told you about that, remember? I told you we’d go when I got back.”

Giving a slight nod, he sighed. “We never did.”

“We will. But, I’m serious, Buck. Please. It’s not his fault. He did exactly what Steve did.” At Bucky’s confused look, you pursed your lips, looking down at his hands, starting to play with his fingers. “Remember how I was thinking during those ten minutes we had?” He nodded. “I was thinking about how Steve gave the shield back to Tony. After saving you. In Siberia. You remember that?” Another nod was given, so you continued. “It was for you, James. Because you made him realize that he didn’t want to be the face of a country that preached one thing, but did another. And that’s what Sam did. He did it for his family. For himself. Because no one wants to fight for a country that goes against your personal beliefs, no matter what they say.”

“I-I don’t understand.” Bucky’s eyes squinted, his brow creasing as he tried processing what you were telling him.

“That’s okay. Not everyone will. Really only they can understand their own reasoning. But you have to try to understand that he did what he thought was best for himself. For Steve. For the shield. And I know - dammit do I know - that it’s the last thing left of him. But it is just metal. Isn’t it? Steve’s the reason it is what it is. No one else. And no one is going to change that.”

Bucky took a breath, glossy, worried eyes meeting yours. “Walker’s going to ruin it. I know he is. I can feel it. Everything Steve worked for. I don’t care about Captain America. I care about the kid from Brooklyn who wanted to make a difference, no matter how little he was. I trusted him. I followed him through bullets and blood, with only that shield between us and them. He was home on a battlefield in Italy across the ocean from New York. And that shield was the welcome mat. It doesn’t matter what it says, what it looks like…but it protected my home when I couldn’t. But now? I feel like it’s tearing my home down. Pulling out the bricks. And it hurts. It was never about the shield, Y/N. It was always about the man it protected when I couldn’t be there for him. And now?”

Gathering him in your arms as he trailed off, you gave a couple little sniffles, pressing your face in his hair, nails scratching the nape of his neck lightly. “I’ll be your welcome mat, Buckaroo.” You offered.

He shook his head, pulling away to hold your face between his hands. “No, sweetheart. You’re not the welcome mat. You’re the new bricks replacing the old. You’re…you’re my home, now, doll.”

You swallowed thickly, unable to handle the rush of emotions that just poured through you, the sudden change in topic making you feel more vulnerable than you’d like. You leaned forwards, placing a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth, feeling him go lax in your arms. “And you’re mine.” You murmured softly, before getting up and heading out for the room, unable to stay any longer. You still had a mission to do. One that became even more desperate with Zemo loose, Walker unhinged, and Karli being so close.

******************

There was a silent agreement to not bring up your conversation. Not yet, at least. Sam had eyed you both when you came out of the room, saying you were ready to get moving, but he didn’t say anything either.

None of you really knew where you were going, only what you had to do. Find Zemo and get to Karli before Walker could. Both of which were a lot easier said than done.

Until Sam got a call from Sarah, who told him Karli contacted her personally and threatened her and her sons. She left a contact number for Sam, evidently wanting to meet. His phone dinged not a minute after he texted the number.

“She said come alone.”

“Well that’s not happening.” You opposed, crossing your arms.

Bucky nodded with your sentence. “We’re coming with you.”

Sam didn’t say anything against it, the three of you exchanging glances, before heading out to the location, changing into your tactical suits along the way.

Karli didn’t seem to mind you and Bucky tagging along, and you understood why the moment she mentioned not killing Sam because he wasn’t hiding behind a shield. It was a distraction. They were going after Walker.

It was confirmed only moments later when Sharon contacted Sam. “Looks like he found them, or maybe they found him.”

As soon as Sam announced that it was Walker, you jumped into action, Sam disabling Karli for just the right amount of time for you to get a head start. “I’ll send you the location. Go.” He told Bucky, who nodded and took off in his super soldier sprint. “You hitching a ride?”

You rolled your eyes at his slight tease. “I hate this so much.” You grumbled, catching his hand as he took off in the air with his bird costume. He held onto you tightly, like the millions of times you’d done this before, although it didn’t make you any less dizzy, traveling that fast, that high, with only his hold keeping you from dropping. “You’re lucky I trust you so much!”

He gave a small chuckle at your shout over the wind. “We’re landing! Brace yourself!” You followed his order, just in time for him to break through the glass ceiling of the building Walker was in. The both of you landed on a platform on the staircase just as a Flag Smasher was thrown through double glass doors, down the stairs, and into a power box. Your eyes went wide as Walker strolled down the steps, oozing a confidence that made you nervous. The moment Walker stopped the Flag Smasher - the Super Soldier - from hitting him with the pipe, you knew even before he twisted it like a pretzel.

“Sam.” You breathed out. You couldn’t even do anything, only watching as the Flag Smasher got up from being thrown again, and running down a hall.

“What’d you do?”

“They got Lemar.” Was the only reply he gave, brushing past you and Sam. You gave Sam a look, but he just jerked his head down the hall, in the direction the Flag Smasher went and the way Walker started heading. You nodded, willing to drop it for now to save someone’s life, but you were so bringing it up once this was done.

Jogging into the room, you should’ve expected the ambush in the room, but, to be honest, they didn’t take as much advantage as they could’ve, so it wasn’t too difficult of a fight. You had trained with Steve millions of times before, so you knew how to go against a Super Soldier. Granted, your Cap wasn’t trying to kill you while training, but it was better than nothing.

You protected your shoulder, knowing that was your weak point, while trying to disguise it so whoever you were fighting wouldn’t realize your Achilles’ Heel. Something you often found while dealing with Steve, and even Bucky, was that Super Soldiers, as quick as they were, tended to favor the super strength side of their enhancements. This made it easier for you to dodge the attacks, knowing most of your blows wouldn’t do much.

Knowing you wouldn’t be able to stay on the defensive for long, you decided to try to get an advantage over them. Disarming them and taking their knife was easy enough. A small advantage, yeah, but now you had a weapon, and you could work with that.

You weren’t exactly sure when Bucky joined the fight, but he did, immediately coming over to you when you body kicked your opponent, helping you up. “That was a Steve move.” Your eyes caught sight of the Flag Smasher behind him and you shoved his shoulder down, throwing your knife, making it land solidly in the man’s shoulder. Bucky looked up at you from his crouch, impressed. “And that was a me move.”

You shrugged. “I’m a visual learner.”

You, Sam, and Bucky were about to go for another round with the guys when a sickening crack sounded behind you, and you whipped around. 

Hoskins was against a split pillar, a crimson streak running down his forehead, head lolling to the side, lips red and cracked. The fight stopped as Walker rushed over to his friend, but you knew there was no way he survived. A punch from a Super Soldier? That hard?

Eyeing the Flag Smashers, you turned to Sam and Bucky when they started dispersing, Karli running out as well. They nodded towards you and the three of you took off after her, not wanting to let her get away again and, for you, at least, wanting to give Walker some time.

You weren’t expecting his grief to turn into such raw hatred. 

Running up to the city square, you didn’t actually see it happen. Just the aftermath. Which was good, considering you nearly threw up just seeing that.

You heard the change in Bucky’s breathing, barely recognizing the way he stepped in front of you, only realizing you stepped closer when you felt his sleeve against your palms, fingers tightly wrapped around his forearm. A choked sound came from somewhere, but you didn’t know it was you, even as Bucky reached his arm around to hold your waist, keeping you behind his shoulder. 

Tears leaked down your face silently, eyes unable to look away as Walker straightened, sliding the shield on his arm, too nonchalantly for someone who just murdered another in front of a crowd full of people, cameras pointed towards him.

The shield. That piece of metal you had been wondering so deeply about the past couple of weeks. The link to the first person you’d ever loved. Ruined. Tarnished. Stained.

You could barely breathe, your throat clenching so tightly it was a wonder you were able to get anything out at all.

“James…”

[hotcoffeetransformation]

Jason swore loudly and had to resist the urge to throw his controller down, pissed that he kept dying cause of the game's stupid glitches (Also known as own mistakes). Still, he regained his composure, and smiled before saying

"Alright chat, we're gonna finish up this one and then we're gonna move on to another game. There should be a poll on top for what we do next"

Jason was a moderately successfully game streamer, averaging about 200 to 300 viewers a night, entirely based on his wit and skill. He knew for sure that they weren't coming for his looks, given his weedy, thin frame, overly pimpled face and large, nerdy glasses. Still, it was enough for him, and he was happy with the progress that he'd made.

As Jason got himself set up for the next game, he heard a shocking sound from above him. The victory theme from one of his favorite JRPGs was blaring through the speakers, and he came up, staring at the screen in shock. He knew what that sound meant. That meant someone had tipped him one thousand dollars, completely out of nowhere.

He looked in shock at the notification on the stream, seeing that it was from someone named JockBro69, with the simple message "Can't wait to get to know you better, cutie~"

Jason was completely stunned. Not only had someone actually redeemed the donation goal that he set as a joke (That being that whoever was stupid enough to tip 1000 dollars got to have a 15 minute private chat with him), it was also someone that he'd never seen in his chat before.

Thoroughly weirded out, but knowing that he had to honor his commitment, he sent the guy a quick private message.

"Dude, I don't know how to thank you enough! Guess I'll see ya pretty soon!"

With that, he sent the man his private zoom link, and said goodbye to the chat, who were still going wild over this turn of events, before pausing,the stream and hopping over to discord for the call.

Not two seconds after his stream stopped, he got a requested video call on discord from the guy, and he opened it up, giving a second for the video to load, but when it did, he was completely dumbfounded again. He was expecting the mysterious donator to be some fat, sweaty silicon valley nerd with too much and money on his hands, but instead what met him was possibly the hottest man he's ever seen, standing up and looking down at his webcam with a friendly expression.

"Fuck, bro! Its so good to finally fucking meet you, I've been such a big fan for a long time, and this is a really big deal for me~

The man had a deep, rumbling, pleasant voice, that shot straight down Jacob's spine and left him feeling strangely... inadequate. Like the fact that his voice wasn't as smooth or melodic as this guy's was his fault, and he should be ashamed of that fact. Still, this guy was pretty pleasant to look at, Jason had to admit. He wasn't gay, definitely not, but he could acknowledge when another guy simply looked good.

Jason scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, not entirely sure of what he should do or say. Still, this guy spent 1000 dollars on this meeting, so he had to try anyway.

"So, umm.... I see your username is jockbro69... What's your actual name thought? I don't think I've ever seen you in chat before..."

The other man actually laughed at this, before looking confused and saying

"What are you talking about bro? Its me, Ethan! I'm in your chat all the time! Man, I guess what they say about playing games so much is true, huh?"

At this statement, Jason actually went pale with shock. THIS was Ethan? This was the guy who's username used to be runningLink? Who was an active fan of the zelda series, constantly begged Jason to play them, and bemoaned the fact that no would date him? It just didn't seem right...

Still, Jason, ever the semi professional, continued on, pretending that he wasn't shocked at the news.

"Well, thanks for supporting me so much! Seriously, this means a lot to me... Ummm... so I guess tell me some of your favorite things about the channel then!"

The man laughed again, the sound coming out in a slow, dumb chuckle, before saying

"What's my favorite thing? Do I even have to say, bro? Its the amazing piece of eye candy I'm looking at right now. You're super hot, bro~"

At this, Jason was shocked, but he chuckled awkwardly while blushing, and said

"Really? I don't think I've ever heard a single person say that before. I guess I consider myself slightly below average..."

The guy looked confused at that, before pressing on

"Really, bro? You look super hot to me, you got those bright, blinding blue eyes that you can just get lost in~"

At this point, Jason knew the man was just messing with him. His eyes have always, and will always be a dark, muddy brown, hidden behind his massive frames. Jason was about to respond, when Ethan continued

"Yeah, and you got that super stylish haircut too, really makes you look super masculine~"

Now Jason was REALLY confused. The guy was right, he did always get complements on his eyes, the bright, shocking blue visible and striking even through his huge glasses. But his hair was always a long, unkempt greasy mess.

"Ethan, are you sure you're okay, you're not just seeing things? Cause I don't know what you're talking about"

Ethan ignored the comment, just continuing to press on

"And you've got that hot, manly face, with your strong jaw and amazing profile"

Jason was confused again. Sure, his stylish haircut did help him look much better, but his face had always been pretty androgynous, with hints of baby fat still present in his cheeks. Again, before he could interrupt, Ethan continued,

"And you've got that smooth smooth skin, that hot stubble, that sexy smirk of yours. You're the full package bro~"

Jason laughed at this. Ethan was clearly being way too complementary. Sure his face had a great shape to it, with strong cheekbones and a square jaw, but his skin was still acne marked as hell, his smile was crooked and awkward, and he'd never been able to grow any facial hair, no matter how much he tried.

"I really have no idea what you're talking about Ethan. Sure I've got some good features, but the overall package isn't much to write home about~"

Ethan smirked again, his eyes lighting up with humor, as if he knew something I didn't.

"Nah, bro, you're underselling yourself. Plus, you've got that body~"

"What about my body? I think its pretty average, though I guess I'm a bit on the skinny side..."

Jason looked down at himself, trying to contemplate what Ethan meant. Sure, he'd been blessed with an attractive, manly face, but it didn't change the fact that his body was still below average at best.

"Again, bro! Putting yourself down. You really think those massive logs you have for arms are below average?"

Jason looked down at his skinny arms, and said

"More like logs than twigs man, seriously."

"And what about your legs? You've spent so long working on em, you've got thighs and glutes to kill for~"

Jason laughed again

"I dunno man! Most people say the exact opposite. They say I spend too much time on arms and not enough on my torso and legs. What can I say though? I love having big, beefy arms."

"Of course you do, bro? Who wouldn't? Especially when right in between em, you got your big, pillowy chest, your sexy abs, and your super toned back~"

Jason was seriously starting to wonder if Ethan was on something. Anyone could clearly see from first glance that Jason's body was badly proportioned, his arms and legs being massive from months to years of work, while he neglected his back, pecs and ab muscles. Still, he thought he looked pretty alright honestly.

"And I especially love how you're not only super sexy, you know it and flaunt it~ I don't think I've ever seen you once wear a shirt. The most you'll wear is a necklace, and even then, not like that covers anything, bro~ Only makes you look sexier"

Now here Jason had to disagree. He knew that he had cultivated and developed an amazing body over his years of going to the gym, but that was all for his own personal satisfaction. He never flaunted it unnecessarily, especially not during a stream.

"And I love the fact that you're such a fucking bro, bro. Every other word out of your mouth is bro and dude, you can't go even five minutes without flexing and thinking of fucking, or going to the gym, or hanging out with your other hot bros. We all know that your brain is basically only good for working out and looking hot. No smart's up there. And you've got your deep, sexy voice, too. Makes it even hotter that you're a gay bro, just like me"

Jason HAD to laugh at that. What the guy was saying was just so ridiculous.

"What the hell are you talking about? Look, I know that I like to show off my sexy body a lot, but that doesn't mean I'm some kind of dumb jock. And I'm definitely straight, dude. Don't know why you'd think I'm gay"

Ethan pressed on, completely unabashed by Jason's last comments.

"But you know the best fucking part, bro? Its that power of yours. The fact that any weak ass nerd who looks at you and your huge fucking muscles grows into a hot, dumb bro like us within seconds~"

Jason was busy flexing, staring at his own bicep in awe, as if he was shocked by him impressive he was. He looked up at Ethan blearily, saying

"Sorry, bro, what'd you say? I guess I got a bit fucking distracted. Huhuhu. But who could blame me~"

"Nah, it was nothing bro. You don't need to worry about it. Now should head back to the stream?"

Jason gasped in excitement, having forgotten entirely about the fact that there was a whole stream audience full of lame ass nerds, just ready for him to make as sexy as he and Ethan were.

"You got it bro~ This is gonna be so fucking hot~"

Jason left the call, going back to the stream and restarting, glad to see that a full 300 people were still watching, even through the extended break. The second he turned his camera on, he could see that people were confused for some reason, saying a stranger broke into his house. How stupid could these people be? How did they not recognize him? Still, not like it would matter for long...

"Hey bros! How're we all fucking doing? Welcomes to today's stream..."

He trailed off, looking blankly at the camera, before saying

"You know what? Fuck video games! Who needs them when you can do this~"

And as his pecs bounced and bounced hypnotically, the chat slowly transitioned from messages like "What the fuck is happening?" or "Who is this dumb jock?" to "Fuck, bro! Your pecs look so fucking hot today!" and "Huhuhu, I love making my pecs bounce like Jace's~"

And so the stream continued, Jace showing everyone all the amazing things his body could do, while anyone that was watching, whether they wanted to or not, began to copy him exactly. And as the stream went on, the viewer count rose, and rose, and rose...

[yandere-sins]

Hello! Can i request a yandere bully! Bakugou, locking a darling in the locker? I may leave You there for a while, and comfort you when the reader is begging you to

Continuation of this one here! Thanks for requesting ^-^

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

You couldn’t deny that the feeling wasn’t new.

Being roughly shoved into the barely big enough locker, you both felt scared and, at the same time, knew what to do. Braking your fall with your back, you kept your head forward so you wouldn’t hit it again, the mild concussion you had last time having been learn-experience enough. You had closed your eyes out of instinct when Bakugou gripped your shirt, but they snapped open immediately, trying to help you. However, Bakugou, too, had honed his skills, slamming the door close before you could squeeze your fingers in its way.

You’d rather have a broken finger than suffer this ordeal again if you were honest.

“No!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, knowing it was futile since no one else was around. Still, a part of you hoped that you might be able to intimidate Bakugou to think this over. “Shut. Up,” was his angry reply, his fist hammering into the locker door with every word. You had to fear he might actually break through the door by force, but it would have been in your favor.

It was so damn frustrating. You always thought you had done something to Bakugou, apologized over and over to him, so maybe he’d stop his bullying. But after finally talking to someone about it, you had decided that you wouldn’t engage with him anymore, and well... it just so happened you found comfort in the arms of the new student who finally treated you well as the only person ever since you came to UA. Everyone had always been too scared of Bakugou once he started targeting you. Of course, you couldn’t blame them either...

You and the new student started to hang out at any time, so you could avoid being targeted, and you spent some of the most wonderful hours by his side. The bullying did seem to stop now that a witness was always around, and you were so sure it was finally over, and you could move on. What could have caused Bakugou to explode the way he did? Not only did he punch your new boyfriend - and possibly broke his nose - no, he also carried you off without permission, bringing you to your most hated place on planet earth.

The annex had always been sparsely visited by students and teachers alike. There were just some clubrooms around, but since it was already late in the afternoon and a sunny day, most members were out in the fields or back in the dorms already. But strangely enough, even the weirdo Bakugou had a locker here; one big enough to fit a person in it.

“You can’t-- Ah, damnit, Bakugou! Stop locking me in this damn locker! It’s not funny anymore! What did I ever do to you?!”

Perhaps you were feeling especially feisty that day. You never had screamed at him like this, except if you were pleading for mercy. But ever since your boyfriend convinced you to see the guidance counselor, you had started to come out of your shell. Everything had been so good. Why was it coming back to bite you in the ass now?

Bakugou didn’t respond. No mocking comment, no snide remarks. Not even threats or insults belittling you, even as you started hammering your fists against the door. Out of experience, you knew someone would come. You were sure your boyfriend already contacted the teachers and people were searching for you, and latest when someone passed by, you could reach out and ask for help. But were you really going to fall back into old behavior and just sit it out? Wait for the time to pass and life to go on like before?

“... like you,” you suddenly heard from outside, a tiny voice compared to the usual boom and vibrato that Bakugou had. “What?!” you hissed, annoyed that once ‘his majesty’ decided to talk, he did it so you couldn’t understand. A long groan escaped him, furious and raging. “Just listen, you idiot! I said I like you!”

This time, the ‘What’ echoing in your head was left silent. Your mouth hung open as you stared at the blonde tuft of hair through the slits in the locker, Bakugou standing there with his back turned towards you. “... the fuck...” you finished your thought, accidentally saying it out loud and quickly realizing it, but it was already too late.

“What’s your problem,” Bakugou grumbled, annoyed, and part of you was glad not being able to see his face. You wouldn’t have known how to come to terms with him blushing or nervously fidgeting around like someone who just confessed usually would. “Just tell me what your fucking answer is.”

“No,” you replied instantly, without even a moment of hesitation. Perhaps it would have been a good idea to think it over before blurting it out but never. You could never imagine yourself at the side of your bully, the person who made your life a living hell. Someone who’d lock you in a locker to confess to you. What kind of joke was this?

“No?” he mumbled, suddenly turning around, you two staring eye to eye through the slits. “What do you mean ‘no’?!”

“Is this a joke?!” you barked back. “Tell me it’s a joke, ’cause there’s no way I could be together with you!”

Bakugou opened his mouth to say something, but instead, his eyes only grew redder, expression growing mad and furious, and you heard the unexpected crashing of fists against the metal, making you flinch back. The whole situation seemed so surreal, but it was very, very real. Standing up for yourself made you feel strong, but when uncomfortable silence befell you two, you started to overthink again.

“Bakugou...” you mumbled, placing your hand against the door. You were back to only seeing his hair, but you knew he was leaning forward, probably starring daggers into the ground. Maybe not everything was too late. Perhaps you could fix this, appeal to him one more time. “Just let me out, okay? You and I... that doesn’t work, but we can stop being children and scream at each other and just go our separate ways.”

You couldn’t think of a better way to talk to him. After all, you couldn’t understand what was going on inside of him at all. He had been bullying for god-knows-how-long, yet, he thought he liked you? Couldn’t he see the contradiction in his statement and actions? But this cruelty had to end at some point and now was as good as any. Going different ways would help him too, you were sure.

“Children?” he whispered, finally snapping upwards again to stare at you with a mocking expression. “Do you think my feelings aren’t real?”

Weirded out by his behavior, you only shook your head.

“I don’t think you know your position in this. There is no ‘no’ when I ask you if you like me.”

“Bakugou...”

“It’s that guy, isn’t it? He’s in the way, right? He’s been stealing you from me, taking up all your time that you should spend with me, isn’t he?”

“Bakugou, please, we’re never spending time together--”

“He’s making you say no because you’re guilty, am I right? I can take care of that, you know?”

“Wait!” you interrupted his speech, sudden panic rising inside of you. You were well aware of Bakugou’s strength, but attacking your boyfriend wouldn’t make any of you happy! “If you go, I’ll scream! They’ll find me, and I’ll tell them what you’re doing! That’s criminal! Aren’t you studying to be a hero?!”

Your appeals were met with a cocky grin, his eyes shining as if you just challenged him. “Who says I can’t be a hero and still beat the shit out of that bastard?”

“Everyone! Everyone will know what they did! I will tell them!”

“Try it,” he hissed before pushing away from the locker. You threw yourself against it, but the door must have jammed when he kept bashing into it. Slapping your palm and hammering your fists didn’t help as you had to watch him walk away after looking at you in this typical, belittling way he used, always looking down on you. “You can have some time to think about your answer while I’m taking care of some business. Remember what day it is?” Bakugou yelled back over his shoulder, and you could hear the smug grin on his lips.

“What day...? Friday?” Your eyes widened suddenly as you realized that there were no clubs on the weekend due to the new regulations for safety, and you began to panic and scream Bakugou’s name after him. If you’d just have to spend the night, that would be manageable, but with the strange mood he was in, you couldn’t bring yourself to trust him to come let you out anytime soon. A whole weekend inside the locker would kill you for sure, and tears rolled down your cheeks as his footsteps slowly faded.

What a monster.

How could you ever like him back?

What more would you have to endure because of him?

But truth be told, what else could you do but tell him you liked him? You just wanted to get out of the hell that was this locker. Save yourself from the embarrassment and torture.

"I like you! Bakugou, I like you!" you screamed.

But the footsteps didn't come running back.

[rouge-variant]

Hi! I was wondering if I could request something? I have big breasts that I’m really insecure about. I mean they’re not big enough to hurt me so I’m not getting surgery or anything, but I feel like they look weird and out of proportion with the rest of my body (which is smaller). I mean I know lots of people would say I’m lucky but I really hate them. Anyway I was wondering if I could get hcs of Levi w his so dealing with the same issue? If not I totally get it. Love ya 💜

I love you too!!! You use purple hearts like me 💜💜💜

This is something we don't see a lot of and I feel like we need to express this more. I'm the opposite of you, no curves and I have a similar feeling. So, let's embrace your wonderful self because in all honesty, I think Levi wouldn't mind and would adore you to bits! Hopfully this is what you were hoping for and advanced apologies if the title offended you. Please let me know if it did because that wasn't the intent and I will fix it for you!! So sorry for the wait!! Thanks for your request and I hope you enjoy!!

Levi with his S/O with Large Breasts Headcannons:

Trigger Warning: Mentions of attention drawn by noticble body features. Please keep this in mind while you read.

Out of all the things Levi is protective of you, your pride and self love is one of the top priorities. He wants to make sure that while he loves you, you also love yourself. So he'll be there to chase away the insecurities that float around you while you stand in the mirror or when clothes are just being a pain in the butt. He adores every aspect of you and couldn't care less if you suddenly sprouted a tail or a second head.

He's also very protective of your comfort level and your personal space. He knows that such features like yout chest tend to get unwanted attention from creeps so he's going to make sure that people act mature and respectful when they're with you. If anyone gets out of hand, ge'll deal with it so that you can finally be able to act normally.

Levi is the type of person to learn everything he can about bras, chest-taping, anything he can to help make things more comfortable for you. He knows that having a larger chest can strain your back muscles so don't be afraid to tell him your sore. He'll rub your back and find away to limit movement so that training isn't annoying and more painful than it should be.

Levi will be a flustered little bean for the first little while when you start dating. He'll apologize every time he accidentally looks at your chest for longer than two seconds. He doesn't want to make you uncomfortable and he also has very little people skills...the poor bean needs some reassurance too, just so he knows hes doing ok.

That being said, if you guys are both in a playful mood, he will lie his head on your chest and stay there. If you ask him what he's doing, he'll respond with: "Sleeping on my pillow". Or sometimes, if you're heart beat is very calm and he struggles to hear it, he'll give you a pouty look and complain about not being able to hear it because your chest is not cooperating. Its playful little banter that is special between the two of you.

Personally, I think Levi would have learned how to sew so that he can fix his cravat so we're going to use it here. If buttons or seems rip on your clothes, he would fix them for you. He know it can get embarrassing to have have to go places and explain why your clothes are roughed up. So if there's anything that he can't fix, he'll take it to the seamstress himself and let the secret stay between you two.

Levi makes sure to remind you constantly that he loves your chest just as much as he loves you without it. People constantly say that they love someone even without the aspect that causes the insecurity but your kind can easily twist that saying into something where you're now undesirable because of your chest size and smaller body proportions. He likes that it's different, because it's you. It makes it easier for him to recognize you. It adds a sense of individuality to you instead of you having the same body type so everyone else. You're special as a whole as well as individual parts.

You are amazing to Levi. He knows that struggles that you have to overcome when you stand out from the rest but you do it in style and that's something a lot of people can't do. They would be knocked down and just chose to stay down. But you get back up and it makes him so proud of you. You could handle yourself even without him but he chooses to keep helping you so that he can continue being the cheeky, beautiful and destructive person he fell in love with!