#like the chaotic mess i am
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You are everything I aspire to be

If parenting has taught me anything, it is the importance of getting down on your hands and knees and teaching not just facts, but love and enthusiasm for the natural world.
This is my son Q and me. I have dozens of photos like this by now, even though he is just two years old.
Every chance I get, I will kneel down with him and show him the little creatures all around us. Especially when they are frogs. He loves frogs for some reason. No idea why.
It is important that we all see this together. It is beautiful. It is magnificent. We are here. It is improbable to the highest degree. It is fleeting, but it is everything we get. And we can get so, so much of it. If we just get our faces into it and really absorb it.
So that's what l'm trying to do here, I guess. Get all of you to join me in the reeds. And I am so happy to have so many of you along for the journey.
#tumblr#lifestyle#advice#life#nature#animals#answers by mark#anon#anonymous#yes the tumblr scientist named his child Q what of it#also you should not aspire to be me#or like me#at all#I am a hot mess#totally chaotic and extremely stressed#months behind on my emails#and badly overcommitted#but of course when all you see are cute frogs I understand why you would feel that way anon#just letting you know that I am struggling just as much as the next person#though of course as a very privileged person it is substantially different than most#my troubles are largely of my own making#anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk
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Husk: *pointing to a high shelf* Can you reach that for me?
Angel: Awww, Whiskers! You need me in your life after all.
Husk: I could replace you with a step ladder.
#husk: fuck why am I even thinking about this I HAVE WINGS#Husk: …#husk: Vaggie- would you#Vaggie: nope#Husk: ladder it is *turns to see Angel getting the jar down* ???#Angel: *embarrassed* Well I was already standing and it’s not like it’s that high and I didn’t have anything BETTER to do#husk: thanks Legs 😉#Angel: 😳#Cherri: *from another room* JUST FUCK ALREADY FOR SATAN’S SAKE#*they’re already dating they just like to mess with everyone*#huskerdust#husk: fuck this shit i’m going to sleep in angel’s room#Angel: me too#they’re in love your honor#they’re chaotic together#loser baby#hazbin angel dust#hazbin husk#husk/angel#angel hazbin hotel#husker hazbin hotel#Hazbin hotel#incorrect hazbin hotel#angel dust needs a hug#consensually#preferably from husk#incorrect quotes#they’re both losers#and call each other pet names FIGHT ME#Angel: You’re not my real ladder!
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Me, sitting with my keyboard and an extremely detailed layout of my OC's house: ok how do I describe a room
#i am STRUGGLING#my ass literally thought of everything EXCEPT how to describe one singular messy corner#the rest of the room? lived in. a couple shelves with mini sculptures and books laying around. a messy blanket from when the boys woke up#BUT GOD FORBID THE BOYFRIEND HAVE A CHAOTIC WORKDESK#how does one describe the absolute CLASH between the desk and it's meticulously kept mess and the rest of the room#that has recently been vacuumed?#like in my mind it is a very visual thing. like you see the desk and then you have about two inches of leeway where it's still messy#and then the rest of the room is thoroughly cleaned. because while boyfriend may be a mess he is considerate of what is his space vs shared#kind of to a worrying degree#LIKE HOWWWWW#ughhhh
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Found these in YouTube comments
Just more proof that even if you're romancing him, you should probably not listen to this shortsighted idiot all the time haha!
#unless you want a chaotic run of course#in which case you should listen to this shortsighted idiot#astarion#bg3#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate iii#baldur's gate spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#astarion ancunin#bg3 astarion#I am a fervent believer that you should mess a bit with astarion when you romance him#at least that's how I like to play it#chit chat
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Considering 2.4 for hsr just came out today. I must say!-



IF WE CAN GET HANYA AND XUEYI ANGST THEN WE CAN GET ARGENTI ANGST C'MON HOYO LET'S DO THIS
#AUHGGHH#ARGENTI ANGST C'MON WE GOT THIS#okay wait I wanna talk about some stuff#1. uhh I'm gonna be gone more and more because schools coming up for me and tumblrs a bit chaotic#just politics popping up more and I am NOT trying to mess with that#if politics had a number 1 hater it would be me#2. I'm still like three patches of hsr behind so hopefully this strike will help me a bit😭#if you don't know. there's a strike going out for games and vas!! please support#i think that's it tbh#I think idk I'll add more if I need to#uhh ok bye I'm gonna go on picmix (I finally learned how to use it and I'm abusing it)#honkai star rail#hsr#hanya honkai star rail#xueyi honkai star rail#argenti honkai star rail#honkai star rail 2.4#hsr 2.4
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…would anyone here be interested in home brew subclasses and monsters stats for constructs and whatever world-building nonsense I happen to feel like posting?
#dnd5e#dnd5e homebrew#subclass#monsters#dnd#d&d 5e#cause I mean I got a ton of ideas#like a stupid amount of them#that’s being generous#I got a couple#like a wizard who specializes in toys#a ranger who uses fungus#a golem made of magic plastic#an evil red crystal plague#a sorcerer hag bloodline#idk#whatever else I feel like doing#might make a separate blog for it though…or not#I mean this thing is already lovingly chaotic#what’s MORE MESS am I right!#plus I mean rambling in the tags is going to keep happening#what are you still doing here?#reblog if you are coming down here
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Classic Who explores ideas, New Who explores morals
classic who is like 'i see this trend, lets explore what might happen if that trend continues and let the audience figure out what it's talking about and come to their own conclusions.'
new who is like 'this trend is BAD and i'm going to PREACH A SPEECH about why it's going to RUIN EVERYTHING' and it's so much more exhausting
#wren rambles#doctor who#this brought on by me watching orphan 55#which had SUCH a fun concept#and then absolutely FACEPLANTED with the doctor moralizing at the end#like yes doctor who has ALWAYS explored topical and political issues#but never is there a definitive I Am Telling You This Is Right message#whereas now I just had to sit here and watch 13 preaching at me?#ughghg#explore the idea but don't shove it down my throat#classic who had an episode (Ice Warriors) exploring climate change as one aspect of the story#talking about how all the plants were removed and that messed with the atmosphere etc.#but that was just a SMALL PART of the whole episode and it was never outright condemned (it was made clear it was BAD and the root problems#but that was never the BIG ISSUE the Doctor Lectured His Companions about) (not that victoria or jamie could do anything lol)#plus this feeds into my issues with 13's run (which started during 12's somewhat but less so)#where the Doctor is painted as the Narratively Right one#where when she says something that's what the narrative wants you to BELIEVE#which coming from Two and Three's run is WILD#because Two is chaotic and murderous when he thinks he's right#and he's manipulative and deceptive at times#and Three is selfish and pouty and rude#and don't get me wrong Thirteen has her issues and I lvoe them#HOWEVER. she's pretty much always RIGHT she's the Word Of God when it comes to moral things#and this more than anything is my biggest issues with Modern Who#mostly 12 and 13's eras#so i hope we move out of that somewhat in the new era but i'm not super holding up hopes (especially after star beast)#maybe one day i'll write a proper full article about it but GOSH#i don't watch this show to be preached at. I watch it for a fun/tragic scifi romp and also to see interesting ideas explored#and reflect the climate of the world and how society influences media#explore the idea of climate change turning the world into a post apocalypse! that's such a fun idea and topical!
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not even done with my durgetash fic yet and this gale and durge idea is worming its way into my brain
#shut up kit#my wip are some of the most chaotic nonsense you have ever seen#i am honestly tempted to post a video of part of one so i can explain my thought process#cause idk not trying to be 'im not like yall' but just to show how much of an absolute mess it can be when drafting and that it's okay! idk
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So like I am very, very, very late to the dating apps shit and I was so worried about not having enough photos and shit but honestly ...
Does ... anyone? Put effort into their profiles? Like at all? Sure heaps of photos but then it's like Bio (and this is a real example): I like dogs :) Interests: Dogs MA'AM THAT TELLS ME NOTHING ABOUT YOU. MY ENERGY RESOURCE IS PISS I AM NOT WASTING TIME ASKING 50 QUESTIONS TO SEE IF WE'RE EVEN COMPATIBLE.
Idk maybe I'm the weird one out here with the goddamn essay profile but man ... give me something to work with here. Like physical attraction is great and all but that is not going to carry it for me just going off photos and jack shit. 🤷♀️
honestly where is my tumblr dating. the tumblr girlfriend. I feel I could tell heaps from someones tumblr, sick of this 500 word limit deserted page shit
#kerytalk#kery tries to date#lol idk maybe an ongoing tag#I am not having high hopes#either my bar is so high it's on the roof or like ... regular people are boring?#problem is I clearly gravitate towards more tomboyish athletic women who spend a lot of time outdoors attraction wise#in reality I have the energy quotient of a cat I could not keep up#and none of them play videogames 😔#also jesus christ why are these apps so fucking EXPENSIVE for basic fucking features good lord. Really feeling the tech dystopia here.#I guess no love for you if you're poor#... think only tumblr gf that'd be a near no for me is exclusively aesthetic shit and nothing else#I ... cannot relate#I mean look at this chaotic mess I run lmao#but it's pretty accurate to the inside of my brain so 🤷♀️
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actually idk. waiting to see for 100 percent sure but probably fuck this game and its lack of understanding of basic fucking concepts.
man i hate how f e handles the annas sometimes. like yea its a running joke ha ha they all are sisters named anna who are related thats fine enough or it would be if the h eroes version wasnt such a colossal dipshit tool, or how like. the 13/14/ect versions can literally be married to someone. like theres a difference in seeing someone and being like “oh thats so and so’s spouse” and “thats the npc who helps me sometimes”. and like yea maybe for a lot of people its not a big deal but theyre still different people. honestly. props to 17 for making their anna really distinguishable as in a lil bean, or even 16 having theirs have a different hair length and color. like now i should be excited/happy/hyped abt anna getting a cute variant but now after looking at the shitty ass meet the heroes thing i feel like its just going to be npc anna even tho that makes no sense as the theme is clearly supposed to be the robinsexuals, but itll be that bc this fucking games writers have no idea how to do literally fucking anything
#im actually mad abt it#like. i dont mind if it is the npc version#good for her. but like. dont fucking act like the two identical twins who are clearly different people are the same fucking person!!#i hate this game and series so much sometimes oh my fucking gosh#its esp bad since i was actually getting hyped yesterday night abt it#and now it looks like its just a stupid fucking nonsense. honestly the npc doesnt deserve this she did nothing wrong#fuck this shitty game and its braindead people who write/translate it who keep screwing over every fucking character#me scrambling to make sure theres no holes in my fic: i can make this work#honestly the two of em messing with people by pretending to be the same person is peak anna behavior and i live for it#like thats something straight out of a mozartean opera and like. more pls#expectation: time travel story. reality: oistin fan tutti#i wish i was joking but this would be awesome#also see me in the tags going from pissed out of my mind to cracking up bc of opera references#i am. easy to please lol#just give me peak chaotic characters and good fic material and im good
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can't stop thinking about the fact that in my performance review yesterday, my bosses spent 90% of it talking about themselves and their father, and the other 10% with one of them telling me the words i use that he personally doesn't like
#im so tired#like buddy we're both writers. we're allowed to have differing opinions on writing.#also dont tell me 'you cant call nature ''pristine'' because it's not'#its marketing. nobody wants to hear 'the ravine next to your house is a chaotic mess of wilderness'#also they gave me 2 compliments in the entire thing and one of them was 'you always come to work on time'#and the other was 'we think youre doing a good job'#(for reference. i carry the entire department and am incredibly reliable to the point where my coworkers panic when i take vacation)#IM SO. TIRED.
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was so totally inept and awkward at interaction today but I got through it!
#Basically messed up a presentation at this national event hosted at the community college because only 2 people showed up on time#and then I was like how do I start this session just provide them with coffee and tea and make it a small session but then#everything went wrong because of course I forgot there are no regular mugs for coffee or tea anymore plus they didn’t have access to the#vending machines so once I solve that mess being chaotic as hell running around I stared the session with a delay#then stutter through out the session keep on trying to find the right words the whole time#I am so embarrassed I just wanna hide#only then to go into a next meeting which also didn’t go smoothly#I’m 10000000% overworked I just don’t know how to compose myself at this point#but at least I can get some sleep now
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@lee-sol sent:ㅤ[ COOKIES ]: the sender and the receiver spend the night in the kitchen decorating cookies together.
wintery promptsㅤㅤ∘ ˚ ( accepting-ish )
ㅤwith no real idea of how he convinced them into this aside from vague memories of batting lashes and those dark eyes of his staring up at them pleadingly, byan is seated at the kitchen table with a tray of warm sugar cookies set before them. hair all pulled back into a haphazard ponytail and a piping bag full of icing in one hand, they're hunched over the first of the desserts and very carefully frosting colourful designs onto them. fortunately, sol was kind enough to compromise and allow them to use some less christmas-oriented colours, thus the star currently held still between their index finger and thumb is being decorated with a soft pink inside an outline of white.
ㅤㅤ" only done this once before. "ㅤthe words a murmur as most of their focus remains on keeping their hand steady, the tip of their tongue briefly pokes out between their lips in all their concentration.ㅤ" wasn't for christmas though, it was... —damn, what was it? "ㅤeyebrows furrowing in thought, they pause their work, eyes drifting toward the ceiling as they searched around for the memory.ㅤ" ...bake sale? —nah, that was the foster mom with the godawful pies. must'a been that one foster sister's birthday party, then. "
after another second of thought, they nod, more certain of the somewhat blurry memory. it was a long time ago, something they'd actually forgotten until the bag full of icing in their hand brought it back in a flash.
ㅤ—part of them wants to ask if he ever did this with his mom while he was growing up. a louder part of them thinks better of it, not wanting to potentially bring the mood down.
ㅤㅤ" pretty sure i kept eating the icing an' tryin' to make the bag of it explode, so i got kicked outta the kitchen, like, fifteen minutes in. "ㅤlaughing a little despite themself as they continue, byan shifts forward again and resumes their work on the cookie, a smile curving their lips. it's far from the worst memory to have resurface during the holidays, a funny enough one to look back on now, so long as they don't venture to anything too far before or after that moment in time.
ㅤㅤ" joke was on her, though, "ㅤthey go on, referring to the foster mother who had enlisted their help,ㅤ" i didn't wanna help anyway. and i ran outta there with one'a the cookies that was already frosted while her back was turned. "
pulling the piping bag away from their now fully iced star, byan reaches with their other hand for the pink and purple sprinkles they chose to counter sol's green and red ones and shakes a healthy dusting out to complete the cookie's design. they look satisfied with themself for one moment, then somewhat disheartened the next as they look at the eleven other cookies still awaiting decoration, and the twelve more that their boyfriend brings over to the table, fresh out of the oven.
ㅤㅤ" god, this is gonna take forever. "ㅤslouching down in their chair with a melodramatic sigh, they swipe a finger over the piping tip to collect a bit of frosting and pop it into their mouth to cheer themself up. in moving to grab for the next cookie, however, something sly starts tugging at the corner of their mouth.ㅤ" ...it'd be pretty bad if i tried to make this bag of icing explode right now, huh? "ㅤgrin almost threatening as it spreads wider, eyes darting in sol's direction as he takes the seat next to them, byan's finger returns to the icing-dispensing tip.ㅤ" or— "
without awaiting a response, let alone giving him any real warning, they reach over and smear frosting over sol's bottom lip, a mischievous glint in their eye.
ㅤㅤ" oh nooo, "ㅤthey croon, voice dripping with unnecessarily dramatic concern, their fingers creeping beneath his chin as they lean in his direction.ㅤ" how clumsy of me... guess i better help you clean that up, huh? "
biting back a laugh over how ridiculously transparent and even kind of cheesy their move is, yet certain that it'll provide distraction from decorating the cookies for at least a few minutes, they urge sol closer with the very loose grasp they have on his chin until their noses are almost touching. pressing in the rest of the way, his lip is caught between theirs, and byan's eyes close over, the tips of their fingers slipping up along their boyfriend's jaw. it's a gentle kiss, made sweeter by the sugary icing, and even their devious smile softens within it.
they aren't done messing around just yet, however. while they have sol successfully distracted, the hand still clutching the piping bag slowly raises. one eye peeks open to make sure their aim is correct and, pressing just a little more into the kiss to really make sure he doesn't see it coming, they squeeze a line of frosting out across his cheek.
ㅤㅤ" oops. "ㅤsnickering against his lips as they break off, their features scrunch in amusement when they lean back and get a better view of their work. it's dumb and it's silly, and it's really only going to make decorating the cookies take longer, but sol looks cute with a smear of pink on his cheek. the bafflement in his eyes that melts into warm amusement only helps.
ㅤㅤ" man, i dunno what's wrong with me tonight. i'm just— "ㅤthey dot his nose with yet another bit of icing,ㅤ" —gettin' this stuff everywhere. i can't be trusted. y'might have to wrestle it outta my hands for your own sanity. "
#lee-sol#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ answered: ic ⋮ i am a vulture that feeds on pain.#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ verse: college ⋮ here to change the vibes; a game changer.#can u tell that i was just coming up with this as i went#and then i kept building off the ideas bc i couldn't figure out how i wanted to end it lmao#i could try to edit it down to a more reasonable size but tbh i think the rollercoaster of it is suitably chaotic#for what decorating cookies with byan would be like#also i have no self control esp when it comes to this ship so pls accept it as the mess it is ♡
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Going to watch Pride & Prejudices (2005) and work on my exams / thesis, my brain is nothing but a thick, mushy texture similar to purée, and I once again want to annihilate all of my tumblr accounts and destroy any form of online presence that I may still have here or anywhere else
#i am not happy i am not sad#in fact i feel nothing#my emotions are playing in the background like music that you hear from another room on a record player#except the record is just screams and incoherent words#the artist is called Chaotic Anxious Mess and the album is entitled Fuck I'm Slipping Again#anyway#personal#there are just days where you just feel like turning into a slug and being swallowed by the mud#today is a day like this for me
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Manwhore Roommate - gojo s.
synopsis. After a string of failed attempts to find a new place to live, you reluctantly agree to share an apartment with Satoru Gojo—a cocky, flirty, and insufferably attractive guy known for his endless roster of hookups and carefree lifestyle. From the very first day, his personality clashes with your grounded, no-nonsense demeanor. You’re determined to keep things strictly platonic and avoid getting caught up in his games, but Gojo thrives on breaking rules
+ warnings/content. Roommate! Satoru Gojo x fem! reader - roommate AU - gojo is a manwhore - pinning - MNDI/mature themes - suggestive - teasing/touching - reader is described to have an big ass - gojo is annoying - eventual smut - not proofread
+ wc. 9 k
The apartment smelled faintly of old takeout, worn leather, and something warm and musky—like cologne. Not an overpowering scent, but the kind that lingered, deeply embedded in the fabric of the place. You paused in the doorway, fingers tightening around the handle of your suitcase, staring at the chaos ahead.
The living room was barely holding it together. A hoodie—black, probably expensive—was slung haphazardly over the back of a couch with stuffing poking out of one armrest. The coffee table was an explosion of clutter: unopened mail, a stack of coasters that clearly weren’t being used, a half-empty bottle of water lying on its side. Sneakers were scattered like an afterthought near the door, and one single sock lay abandoned under the TV stand.
You inhaled slowly, letting the air out through your nose. “So…this is it?”
Behind you, Satoru Gojo leaned lazily against the doorframe, the picture of smug satisfaction. He didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed about the state of his apartment. If anything, he looked like he’d just scored some kind of victory.
“Welcome to Casa Gojo,” he said with a grin, spreading his arms wide as if presenting a five-star hotel. “Cozy, huh?”
You gave him a flat look. “Cozy isn’t the word I’d use.”
He laughed, shameless and loud, brushing past you into the living room. “Don’t worry, you’ll warm up to it. It’s got character. Charm. A certain je ne sais quoi.”
“It’s got a mess,” you muttered under your breath, dragging your suitcase inside.
Gojo either didn’t hear you or pretended not to. He was already in the kitchen, yanking open the fridge. The door creaked ominously as he surveyed its contents, completely unfazed by the questionable state of the shelves. From where you stood, you could see a carton of eggs that looked suspiciously close to their expiration date, a pizza box taking up an entire shelf, and…was that a single slice of cake just sitting there, uncovered?
“You hungry?” he asked, grabbing a soda and cracking it open with one hand. “We’ve got, uh…” He leaned in for a closer look. “Eggs. And, uh, mystery leftovers. Oh, wait, there’s pizza.”
“I’m good,” you said quickly, already regretting this decision.
-
You never imagined your life would lead to this—standing in the doorway of Satoru Gojo’s chaotic apartment, wondering if you’d made the worst decision of your life. Just a few weeks ago, things had been fine. Stable, even. You had your own one-bedroom apartment—a tiny but cozy space that you’d worked hard to afford. Sure, it wasn’t perfect. The shower had a slow drip that your landlord swore wasn’t “worth fixing,” and the heating was practically non-existent in the winter, but it was yours.
Then the pipe burst.
You’d come home after a long day to find your kitchen under several inches of water. Your landlord, of course, didn’t pick up your frantic calls until hours later, and when he finally showed up, all he could offer was a half-hearted apology and a shrug. “It’ll take a couple weeks to fix,” he’d said. “Maybe more. I’ll call someone.”
“Where am I supposed to go in the meantime?” you’d demanded, trying to wring water out of your socks without screaming.
He’d just looked at you blankly, as though it wasn’t his problem.
The next few days had been a blur of packing, moving what little you could salvage into storage, and hopping between temporary places to stay. Your best friend let you crash on her couch for a while, but she lived with her boyfriend, and you felt like a third wheel every time you stayed too long. Hotels were an option, but they were expensive, and your savings were already taking a massive hit. Every apartment you found online was either laughably out of your budget or in parts of the city you wouldn’t visit during daylight, let alone live in.
You were running out of options—and patience—when a mutual friend brought up Satoru Gojo.
At first, you thought it was a joke.
“Gojo?” you’d asked, incredulous. “Satoru Gojo? The guy who can’t take anything seriously? The guy who’s practically a walking HR violation?”
Your friend had laughed. “I mean, yeah, that’s one way to describe him. But his old roommate moved out, and he’s got an extra room. Rent’s dirt cheap, too. He could probably use the help.”
You’d bristled at the idea immediately. Satoru Gojo was infamous—not just for his looks, which, fine, you could grudgingly admit were objectively attractive, but for his personality. He was the type of guy who could charm the pants off anyone—literally. A shameless flirt, perpetually smug, and somehow always the center of attention, Gojo wasn’t exactly what you’d call roommate material. The thought of sharing a living space with him sounded more like a punishment than a solution.
But the more you thought about it, the more you realized you didn’t have many other choices.
It wasn’t like Gojo was a bad person—annoying, yes, but not bad. And the friend who suggested him had insisted that, beneath all the arrogance, he was actually pretty decent. “Besides,” they’d added with a grin, “it’s not like you’re gonna fall for him or anything, right? You’ll just be roommates.”
You weren’t so sure. You’d heard the stories—how Gojo had serenaded someone’s girlfriend at karaoke, how he’d once flirted his way out of a parking ticket, how he never seemed to take anything seriously. But your savings were dwindling, your patience was running thin, and no one else was offering you an affordable place to stay.
So, against your better judgment, you’d dialed his number.
“Yo,” he’d answered after the second ring, his voice casual and teasing, as if he’d been expecting you. “Calling to confess your undying love for me? Finally?”
You’d rolled your eyes so hard it almost hurt. “No, Gojo. I need a place to stay. Someone said you’re looking for a roommate.”
“Oh?” His tone had shifted slightly, curiosity laced with amusement. “And here I thought you hated me.”
“I don’t hate you,” you’d replied through gritted teeth. “I just don’t like you. Big difference.”
He’d laughed, loud and unbothered. “Well, lucky for you, I don’t need my roommates to like me. I just need them to pay rent on time and not steal my snacks or. So, what do you think? Wanna shack up with the great Satoru Gojo?”
You’d hesitated, gripping your phone tightly. The logical part of your brain screamed at you to hang up and find another option, but logic didn’t have a flooded apartment and a rapidly draining bank account.
“When can I move in?” you’d asked finally, your voice resigned.
“Tomorrow, if you want,” he’d said, sounding far too pleased with himself. “But, uh, fair warning—my place is a little messy. I wasn’t expecting company.”
“How messy are we talking?”
“…You’ll see.”
-
Now here you were, standing in Satoru Gojo’s living room, suitcase in one hand, a growing sense of regret in the other. The place wasn’t just messy—it was alive with chaos. The kind of chaos that didn’t just happen overnight but had clearly been cultivated over weeks, maybe months.
Gojo sauntered back into the living room, his soda can dangling from his fingers as he leaned against the counter separating the kitchen from the rest of the apartment. He tilted his head at you, a crooked grin tugging at his lips.
“You look tense,” he said, taking a sip of his drink. “What’s wrong? Not a fan of the open floor plan?”
“It’s not the floor plan I’m worried about,” you muttered, eyeing the lone sock under the TV stand. “Do you even own a vacuum?”
“Sure do,” he said, pointing to a closet near the hallway. “It’s, uh…in there somewhere.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “Do you ever use it?”
He grinned, shameless. “Why bother? You’re here now. I’m sure you’ll whip this place into shape in no time.”
“Excuse me?”
“Relax, I’m kidding,” he said, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “Mostly. But hey, it’s not so bad, right? It’s got character.”
“Character,” you repeated flatly, glancing around at the cluttered surfaces, the mismatched furniture, the pile of laundry peeking out from behind the couch. “Right.”
Gojo didn’t seem the least bit bothered by your disapproval. In fact, he looked like he was enjoying it. His blue eyes sparkled with amusement as he watched you take in your surroundings, his grin never wavering.
“Come on,” he said, pushing off the counter and gesturing toward the hallway. “I’ll show you your room.”
You followed him reluctantly, dragging your suitcase over the uneven floorboards. The hallway was narrow, lined with a few framed photos that looked like they’d been thrown up haphazardly. One was crooked, and you resisted the urge to straighten it as you passed.
“Oh, heads up—the walls are kinda weird. My old roommate had this thing for, like, anime posters or whatever. I didn’t bother taking them down.”
“Great,” you muttered,
“Here we are,” Gojo said, stopping in front of the last door on the left. He pushed it open with a dramatic flourish, stepping aside to let you in. “Home sweet home.”
You stepped inside and stopped in your tracks.
The room wasn’t bad, exactly—it was bigger than you’d expected, with a decent-sized window and a closet that didn’t look like it was falling apart. But the walls…
Gojo hadn’t been kidding about his old roommate. The walls were plastered with posters—bright, garish, and all of them anime-themed. Characters with oversized eyes and gravity-defying hair stared back at you from every surface, their poses dynamic and exaggerated. One corner featured a particularly dramatic sword-wielding figure, while another was dominated by a group of girls in school uniforms mid-pose.
You blinked. “What…is this?”
Gojo leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, clearly trying not to laugh. “What? You don’t like anime? My old roommate was a big fan.”
“This isn’t a room,” you said, gesturing at the walls. “It’s a shrine.”
“Hey, don’t knock it. You might learn something.”
You turned to glare at him, but he was already laughing, the sound echoing down the hallway.
“If it bothers you that much, you can take them down,” he said between chuckles. “Or leave them up. Maybe they’ll grow on you.”
“I’m taking them down,” you said firmly, setting your suitcase down by the bed.
“Suit yourself,” he said with a shrug, straightening up and heading back toward the living room. “Dinner’s on me tonight, by the way. Consider it a ‘welcome to the madhouse’ gift.”
“Generous of you,” you called after him, already making a mental list of everything you’d need to clean, fix, and replace.
As his footsteps faded, you sat down on the edge of the bed, letting out a long sigh. The apartment was a mess, Gojo was insufferable, and you were pretty sure the next few months were going to test every ounce of patience you had.
But at least it was a roof over your head.
For now, that was enough.
-
You spent the rest of the afternoon settling into your new room. The posters came down immediately, but not without a fight. Whoever had put them up had used enough tape to secure a small building, and by the time you’d peeled off the last one, your fingers were sore, and you were pretty sure you’d taken a chunk of paint with you.
The bed was another ordeal. The mattress wasn’t terrible, but the sheets Gojo had left on it were…questionable. They smelled faintly of old laundry detergent, with an underlying note of cologne. You made a mental note to wash them tomorrow and just threw your own blanket over the top for now.
The rest of the room wasn’t much better. The closet door creaked ominously when you opened it, and the lightbulb in the ceiling fixture flickered every time you turned it on. But it was manageable. Barely.
As evening rolled around, you finally emerged from your room to find Gojo sprawled across the couch, a gaming controller in his hands and the volume on the TV set way too high. Some kind of fast-paced shooting game flashed across the screen, the sound of gunfire and explosions filling the living room.
“Hey,” you said, stepping into the chaos. “What happened to dinner?”
“Huh?” He glanced over his shoulder at you, one hand still expertly working the controller. “Oh, yeah. About that…”
You narrowed your eyes. “Don’t tell me you forgot.”
“Forgot? Never.” He grinned, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “I ordered takeout.”
As if on cue, there was a knock at the door.
“See?” he said, pausing the game and hopping to his feet. “I’m a man of my word.”
You rolled your eyes but followed him to the door, curious about what he’d ordered. When he opened it, a delivery guy handed over two large bags of food, the smell immediately filling the apartment.
“Hope you like ramen,” Gojo said, setting the bags down on the coffee table and plopping back onto the couch.
You eyed the bags suspiciously. “That’s a lot of ramen for two people.”
“Is it?” He pulled out a container and handed it to you with a pair of chopsticks. “What can I say? I like to keep my options open.”
You sat down on the far end of the couch, making a point to keep some distance between you. The ramen, at least, smelled incredible, and you had to admit you were starving.
“So,” he said, between bites, his voice annoyingly casual. “First impressions? How do you like living with me so far?”
You gave him a look, setting your container down on the coffee table. “Do you want the truth, or should I sugarcoat it?”
“Truth,” he said, grinning like he already knew what you were going to say.
You leaned back, crossing your arms. “Your apartment is a disaster. You’re loud, you don’t clean, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to regret this decision within a week.”
Gojo didn’t look remotely offended. In fact, he looked downright entertained. “Wow. rough. Just the way that I like it”
You groaned, picking up your ramen again. “I don’t know how anyone puts up with you.”
“Oh, plenty of people put up with me, if you know what i mean—” he said, winking. “But you’ll see. By the end of the month, you’ll be begging for more of me.”
“Don’t hold your breath,” you muttered, though you couldn’t help but crack a small smile despite yourself.
Dinner turned into a strange, semi-comfortable routine faster than you expected. Gojo, despite being an objectively messy person, was surprisingly good company when he wasn’t actively trying to annoy. The conversation shifted effortlessly between lighthearted topics—like his absurd stories from college—to things you didn’t expect to discuss with someone you’d just moved in with.
“So, why’d you move out of your old place?” he asked suddenly, leaning back on the couch with his half-empty ramen container resting on his stomach.
You hesitated, chopsticks frozen in mid-air. “It’s not like I had much of a choice,” you admitted, poking at your noodles. “My landlord is incompetent, and my kitchen turned into a swimming pool. Not exactly livable conditions.”
Gojo raised an eyebrow. “No kidding. And he didn’t offer to put you up somewhere? Like, isn’t that his job?”
You snorted. “You’d think, right? But no. He told me to ‘figure it out’ and just…disappeared.”
He shook his head, muttering something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like “asshole.” Then, after a moment, he said, “Well, his loss. Now you’re here, and let’s be honest—you’ve upgraded.”
You gave him a pointed look. “This is what you call an upgrade?”
“Obviously.” He gestured vaguely at the cluttered living room. “I mean, come on—free entertainment, great company, world-class ramen delivery and if you want— someone to keep your bed warm.“ he smiled at you,“What more could you ask for?”
“Clean floors,” you deadpanned.
“Touché.”
He grinned, unfazed, and reached for the TV remote. “Alright, you’ve earned your place on the couch. Let me properly welcome you to Gojo’s world.”
“What are you doing?” you asked warily as he scrolled through a streaming service, the remote clicking in rapid succession.
“Movie night,” he said matter-of-factly, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s tradition. New roommates get to pick the first movie. Consider it a rite of passage.”
You opened your mouth to protest, but he cut you off with a dramatic gasp. “Wait—don’t tell me you’re one of those people who’s never seen Star Wars. Or, God forbid, Lord of the Rings.”
“Relax,” you said, rolling your eyes. “I’ve seen them. And I’m not watching them with you.”
“Fine, fine,” he said, mock pouting. “Your call, then. But choose wisely. This moment sets the tone for our entire roommate relationship.”
You sighed, leaning forward to grab the remote. “No pressure or anything.”
Eventually, you settled on a movie—a rom-com you’d seen a hundred times but couldn’t resist—and to your surprise, Gojo didn’t complain. He sprawled out on the couch like he owned the place (which, to be fair, he did), one arm draped lazily over the backrest, the other digging into a bag of chips he’d somehow produced out of nowhere.
“This is cute,” he said about halfway through, his voice dripping with faux sincerity. “Do they fall in love in the end? Kiss in the rain? Ride off into the sunset?”
You shot him a glare. “If you’re going to talk through the whole thing, I’m turning it off.”
He held up his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. No more commentary. Scout’s honor.”
But, of course, he didn’t stay quiet for long.
By the time the credits rolled, he’d managed to make at least three sarcastic remarks about the leading man’s haircut, two unsolicited critiques of the soundtrack, and one entirely unnecessary comment about how he would’ve handled the grand romantic gesture at the end.
“For the record,” he said as he turned off the TV, “I could totally pull off that rain scene. Probably better, actually.”
“You? Running through the rain for someone?” You laughed, shaking your head. “I don’t buy it.”
“Hey,” he said, feigning offense. “I’ll have you know I’m a very romantic guy. People line up for the Gojo Experience™.”
“I don’t doubt that,” you said, grabbing the empty ramen containers to take them to the kitchen. “But romance and whatever it is you do are two very different things.”
“Oh, you wound me,” he called after you, his voice light and teasing.
In the kitchen, you rinsed out the containers and stacked them neatly on the counter, trying not to think too hard about how easy it had been to banter with him. It was strange—living with someone like Gojo, who seemed to thrive on chaos and charm. You’d expected to be annoyed, and you were. But there was something oddly comforting about how effortlessly he filled the space.
When you returned to the living room, he was still lounging on the couch, flipping through his phone. He glanced up as you walked in, a lazy smile spreading across his face.
“Not bad for a first night, huh?” he said.
You shrugged, suppressing a small smile. “I’ve had worse.”
“Don’t worry,” he said, sitting up and tossing his phone onto the coffee table. “I’ll grow on you.”
“I wouldn’t count on it,” you shot back, heading toward the hallway.
His laughter followed you all the way to your room.
As you shut the door behind you, you couldn’t help but feel like, for all the chaos and noise, this arrangement might not be as terrible as you’d thought. Maybe.
But oh. How wrong you were.
The morning started off deceptively quiet. When you emerged from your room, the sunlight streaming through the blinds made the living room look almost…peaceful. The kitchen was spotless, the couch was miraculously free of clothes and clutter, and the faint aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air.
For a brief moment, you thought Gojo might’ve actually cleaned up his act overnight.
Then you saw him.
He was leaning against the counter, sipping coffee like a walking ad for morning perfection. His silver-white hair was damp, his loose hoodie hung just right, and his sweatpants rode low enough to remind you he probably didn’t own a single pair of fitted jeans. He looked like someone who just woke up that hot—not a single ounce of effort needed.
“Morning, sunshine,” he said, flashing you a grin that was as disarming as it was infuriating.
You ignored the way his voice sent an unwelcome shiver down your spine. “Do you ever not sound smug?”
“Nope. It’s part of my charm.” He smirked, leaning back against the counter. “Coffee?”
You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. “You made coffee?”
“Of course. What kind of host would I be if I didn’t caffeinate my lovely new roommate?”
“The kind of host who leaves his socks on the coffee table,” you muttered under your breath.
He pretended not to hear that, holding out a mug. “Come on. One sip, and you’ll see I’m full of surprises.”
Reluctantly, you accepted the mug and took a cautious sip. To your utter annoyance, it was good. Like, really good.
“You’re welcome,” he said smugly, reading your expression.
You gave him a pointed look. “Don’t get used to this dynamic. I’m not falling for your weird, ‘charming’ roommate routine.”
“Who said anything about charm?” He tilted his head, a mischievous glint in his eye. “I’m just being myself, baby. If that’s irresistible, it’s not my fault.”
You nearly choked on your coffee. “Did you just call me baby?”
“Hmm?” He feigned confusion, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, sorry. Roomie. Same thing, right?”
“No, it’s really not,” you said flatly, setting your mug down.
„By the way, just a heads-up—I have someone coming over later.”
You frowned. “Someone?”
“Yeah, you know. A friend.” He smirked, the word friend dripping with suggestion.
You set your mug down on the counter. “You couldn’t even wait a day?”
“Hey, don’t judge me,” he said, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I’ve got needs. And besides, You knew from the start—this is who I am.”
You stared at him, incredulous. “I moved in less than twenty-four hours ago, and you’re already—”
“Relax, it’ll be fine,” he interrupted, brushing past you to grab a bag of chips from the cabinet. “You won’t even know we’re here.”
By the time his “friend” arrived that afternoon, you were safely holed up in your room, pretending to be engrossed in a book. You had already resigned yourself to enduring Gojo’s antics, but as the knock sounded at the door and his voice rang out in greeting, you felt your stomach twist.
Her laughter echoed through the thin walls—a bright, bubbly sound that grated against your already frayed nerves. You couldn’t make out their words, just the ebb and flow of conversation, the occasional rise and fall of her giggles mixing with Gojo’s smooth, low voice.
They moved to the living room, and the indistinct murmur of their voices grew louder. It was maddening—like trying to tune out a conversation happening right outside your door. You couldn’t tell what they were saying, but the rhythm of their tones was unmistakable. The lighthearted teasing, the easy banter—it all set your teeth on edge.
You clenched your book tighter, trying to focus on the words in front of you, but your eyes kept darting to the wall as if you could somehow will the noise to stop. It wasn’t your business, you reminded yourself. You didn’t care what Gojo did with his spare time, or who he brought over. It didn’t matter.
But when their voices softened, becoming more intimate, you felt your chest tighten with dread. The murmurs grew harder to distinguish, and soon, all you could hear was the faint rustle of movement and the occasional low chuckle from Gojo.
And then the real noise began.
At first, it was subtle—the creak of the couch, a muffled laugh that was cut short, followed by a sharper sound, like something hitting the floor. You froze, dread pooling in your stomach.
When the rhythmic creaking started, punctuated by the occasional muted groan, your heart sank.
No. No, no, no.
You pressed your hands over your ears, as if that would somehow make it stop. But the thin walls of the apartment offered no escape. Every sound seemed amplified—the shifting of weight, the faint hum of voices, the occasional laugh that broke the tension.
“Unbelievable,” you muttered, tossing your book onto the bed and pacing the room.
For a moment, you debated knocking on the wall or even storming out there to put an end to it. But the thought of interrupting whatever was happening made your skin crawl. Instead, you grabbed your headphones, shoved them over your ears, and cranked up your music.
But it wasn’t enough. No matter how loud you made the playlist, the creaking and muffled sounds seemed to filter through, like an itch you couldn’t scratch.
When the noise finally stopped, you yanked your headphones off and slumped back onto your bed, letting out a heavy sigh. The room felt unnaturally quiet now, as if the apartment itself was holding its breath.
The front door opened, followed by the woman’s voice, light and cheerful.
“Thanks for today,” she said.
“Anytime,” Gojo replied, his voice dripping with charm. “Drive safe, gorgeous.”
You cringed at the sound of the door clicking shut and the silence that followed. A beat later, you heard Gojo’s footsteps padding toward the kitchen.
Summoning every ounce of patience, you stepped out of your room, determined to at least get a glass of water. You found him leaning lazily against the counter, a smug grin plastered across his face.
“Well, look who’s finally out of hiding,” he said, his tone dripping with mock innocence.
You ignored him, walking to the sink and filling a glass with water.
“Rough day?” he asked, clearly enjoying himself.
You slammed the glass down on the counter and whirled around. “Seriously, Gojo? Can you not keep it down? I could hear everything.”
His grin only widened. “Everything, huh? Guess I should’ve warned you about the acoustics in here.”
You glared at him, crossing your arms. “You’re impossible.”
“Aw, come on,” he said, stepping closer. “Don’t be mad. If it makes you feel better, I’ll keep it quieter next time.”
“Next time?” you snapped.
“What can I say?” He shrugged, his eyes glinting with mischief. “I’m a people person.”
You rolled your eyes and turned to leave, but his voice stopped you.
“Hey, for what it’s worth,” he said, leaning casually against the counter, “you’re more fun to talk to than she was.”
You froze, your face heating. “Don’t even try it.”
“Try what?” he asked, his tone playful. “I’m just saying, if you ever want to hang out, you don’t have to hide in your room.”
You glared at him over your shoulder. “In your dreams, Gojo.”
He chuckled, watching you retreat to your room. “Every night, sweetheart.”
You slammed the door behind you, but not before you heard his soft, self-satisfied laugh echo through the apartment.
A week passed, and life in the apartment settled into a grudging rhythm. You’d managed to avoid another direct confrontation with Gojo, though the memories of that first encounter still made your skin crawl. You convinced yourself you could manage this arrangement if you just kept your distance and stayed in your lane. To his credit—or maybe just your luck—he hadn’t brought anyone else over since that mortifying incident.
The apartment remained mostly quiet, aside from his occasional antics: music playing at odd hours, the clatter of snacks in the kitchen when you were trying to focus, and Gojo humming to himself as he wandered around like he owned the place.
But living with Gojo wasn’t just about tolerating the noise. It was about tolerating him. His overwhelming presence. His insufferable teasing. The way he seemed to enjoy pushing you just far enough to elicit a reaction, like a child poking at a caged animal for fun.
Case in point: the morning you stepped out of your room to grab breakfast, still half-asleep, only to find him lounging on the couch, shirtless, with a bag of chips balanced precariously on his chest.
“You know,” he said without looking up from his phone, “it’s rude to stare.”
You blinked, your brain taking a moment to catch up. “Excuse me?”
“Don’t worry,” he said, flashing you a lazy grin as he finally looked at you. “I get it. I’m irresistible.”
You narrowed your eyes, resisting the urge to smack the smugness off his face. “Or you’re just in my way,” you shot back, walking past him to the kitchen.
He craned his neck, following you with his eyes as you moved. “Feisty this morning. Didn’t know you had it in you.”
“Maybe because I’ve been trying to avoid you,” you muttered, rifling through the cabinets for your coffee mug.
“Aw, you wound me,” he said, clutching his chest dramatically, which sent a few chips tumbling to the floor. “I’ve been nothing but welcoming to you, and this is how you repay me?”
“Welcoming?” You scoffed, finally finding your mug and filling it. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”
He grinned. “Of course. Didn’t you feel welcome when I made breakfast last week? Oh wait, never mind—you hid in your room.”
You ignored him, stirring sugar into your coffee and silently counting to ten. He thrived on attention, and you weren’t about to give him the satisfaction.
“Hey,” he called again, his tone turning almost conversational, like he wasn’t intent on annoying you. “Do you ever, like, not wear sweats?”
You glanced down at your oversized hoodie and joggers, then shot him a pointed glare. “Do you ever, like, mind your own business?”
“Ouch,” he said with a mock wince. “Just saying, you’ve got potential. Might even clean up nice if you tried. You‘ve got an big ass.“
You rolled your eyes so hard it was a miracle they didn’t get stuck. “Good thing your opinion means nothing to me.”
His laughter filled the space as you grabbed your coffee and headed toward your room, your patience wearing thin.
“Oh, come on,” he called after you, his voice taking on a teasing lilt. “You’re not even going to hang out? What kind of roommate are you?”
“The kind who values her sanity,” you shot back without missing a beat.
His laughter followed you as you reached your door, hand on the knob, ready to escape his relentless teasing. But as you glanced at the clock on the wall, a realization hit you. Your eyes widened slightly.
You turned on your heel abruptly, nearly colliding with Gojo, who had apparently taken the opportunity to stand and stretch—still shirtless, of course. His smug grin faltered for a second as you stopped dead in your tracks.
“I’ll be late today,” you said quickly, sidestepping him to set your coffee down on the counter.
Gojo tilted his head, his grin returning with full force as curiosity flickered across his face. “Late? You? Didn’t think you had a social calendar.”
You rolled your eyes, opening the fridge and pretending to look for something. “People can have plans, Gojo. Even me.”
“Plans?” He leaned against the counter, his tone dripping with mock surprise. “Wait a second. Are you… going somewhere exciting?”
“I don’t owe you an explanation,” you replied, focusing intently on the fridge shelves as if the milk carton was suddenly the most fascinating thing you’d ever seen.
His eyes narrowed slightly, amusement dancing in them. “You’re being cagey. That means it’s something good.”
You grabbed the milk with more force than necessary and shut the fridge door with a pointed look. “Or maybe I just don’t want to deal with your incessant need to pry into my business.”
“Touché.” He chuckled, watching as you began pouring milk into your coffee. His voice softened slightly, the teasing edge giving way to something more casual. “But seriously, where are you going? Work? Errands? Hot date?”
Your hand faltered for the briefest second. It was the tiniest movement—so small you hoped he didn’t notice. But the sharp glint in his eyes told you he absolutely had.
“Just out,” you said, keeping your tone neutral. “Don’t wait up.”
Gojo raised an eyebrow, straightening from his lean. “Out, huh?” He crossed his arms over his chest, the picture of exaggerated skepticism. “You’re not denying it’s a date.”
“I’m not confirming it either,” you shot back, grabbing your coffee and brushing past him toward your room.
“But you didn’t deny it!” he called after you, his voice full of glee. “Come on, who’s the lucky guy? Is he tall? Handsome? Rich? More charming than me?”
“Literally anyone is more charming than you, Gojo,” you replied dryly, not even turning around.
His laughter followed you down the hall, loud and unbothered. “Oh, you’re killing me, sweetheart! At least tell me if I should warn him about your sweats obsession!”
You slammed your door shut before he could say anything else, but his laughter still echoed faintly through the walls.
Inside, you set your coffee on your desk and let out a long sigh. Gojo was insufferable. But even as you tried to focus on getting ready, his teasing words stuck with you.
It wasn’t his business, you reminded yourself. He didn’t need to know about your date—or the nerves twisting in your stomach at the thought of it.
Still, as you changed out of your usual oversized hoodie and joggers, you couldn’t help but wonder how Gojo would react if he saw you now.
And for reasons you couldn’t quite understand, you hated that the thought even crossed your mind.
The minutes ticked by as you debated between two outfits: a casual but flattering dress or a sleek, semi-formal ensemble that screamed confidence. You settled on the dress, deciding it struck the perfect balance—nothing too over-the-top, but enough to make an impression.
You checked your reflection in the mirror, smoothing down the fabric nervously. Your hair was styled neatly, and you’d even put on a bit of makeup—not something you usually did unless the occasion called for it. This definitely qualified.
Gojo didn’t need to know the details of your plans. Still, his voice echoed in your head, taunting and teasing. Hot date, huh? You clenched your teeth and took a steadying breath, determined not to let him get to you.
Stepping out of your room, you found Gojo still sprawled on the couch, now munching on what appeared to be a chocolate bar. His phone was perched on his knee, and he scrolled through it lazily, not even glancing up when you walked past him.
For a second, you thought you might actually escape without another comment. But then his head snapped up, his sharp blue eyes locking onto you like a predator catching sight of prey.
“Whoa,” he said, sitting up straight and letting his phone drop onto the cushion. “What is this?”
You froze mid-step, your heart sinking. “What’s what?”
“This,” he said, gesturing broadly at you. “You. Looking like that.”
You crossed your arms, trying to appear unfazed. “It’s called getting dressed. Some of us do it properly.”
He smirked, standing up and sauntering closer, his eyes raking over your outfit—not in a leering way, but with an exaggerated flourish that made you bristle. “Are we sure this isn’t a completely different person? Because you clean up way better than I expected, Roomie.”
“Gojo,” you warned, your voice clipped.
“Relax.” He grinned, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “I’m just saying you look… nice. Stunning, even. Makes me feel all tingly. The kind of nice that makes me wonder who you’re trying to impress.”
You stepped past him, heading for the door. “It’s none of your business.”
“Oh, it is my business,” he said, following you like an oversized shadow. “If you’re going on a date, I have a responsibility as your roommate to make sure this guy’s good enough for you. Do I need to give him the talk?”
You snorted, pulling on your shoes. “The talk? What are you, my dad?”
“Worse,” he said smugly, leaning casually against the wall near the door. “I’m your roommate. I see all the little things he doesn’t. Like the fact that you leave your underwear all over your room—”
You glared at him, your cheeks flushing,“Wh— were you in my room, you pervert?!“
He smirked, but you quickly turned around and grabbed your bag, not letting him ruin your mood. “Don’t wait up.”
“Oh, I won’t,” he said, his grin turning sly.
“Wait—,” he started, his tone light but laced with something almost mischievous, “if you are going on a date, you know the rules, right?”
You rolled your eyes, ignoring him. “There are no rules because it’s none of your business.”
“Wrong,” he said, pushing off the wall and stepping closer, his grin widening. “Rule number one: if the guy so much as breathes wrong, I’m allowed to deck him.”
“Gojo—”
“Rule number two,” he continued, holding up two fingers as if this were a serious negotiation, “if he breaks your heart, I’m always here to fix it.”
You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. “Fix it? What, with chips and bad jokes?”
His grin turned downright devilish, and he leaned slightly closer, his voice dropping just enough to send a shiver down your spine. “Not exactly what I meant, sweetheart. But if you know what I mean… well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
Your face burned instantly, and you glared at him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a flustered reaction. “You’re disgusting.”
“Hey, I’m just offering my services,” he said, backing up with a mock-innocent shrug. “I’m a giver like that.”
You threw your bag over your shoulder and turned toward the door. “Thanks, but I’ll take my chances with the real world.”
His laughter followed you, low and teasing, as you pulled the door open.
“Don’t come crying to me when the real world disappoints you!” he called after you. “But seriously—don’t let him screw this up. He’s lucky to have your attention, even if it’s temporary.”
For a moment, you faltered, caught off guard by the unexpected sincerity buried in his words. You glanced back at him, but the cocky grin was already back in place.
“Goodnight, Gojo,” you said, stepping out and shutting the door behind you.
As you walked away, his last comment replayed in your mind, a mix of genuine care and infuriating arrogance. You hated how easily he got under your skin. And worse, you hated that part of you couldn’t quite stop thinking about it.
-
The date had started out decently enough. He’d been polite when he picked the restaurant, complimented your outfit, and pulled your chair out for you when you arrived. For a brief moment, you thought this might actually turn out okay. Maybe, just maybe, you’d get through the evening without regretting every decision that led you there.
But it wasn’t long before the cracks began to show.
He started checking his phone a few minutes into the conversation. At first, it was subtle—a quick glance here, a soft buzz there. You told yourself it was probably work, something urgent that couldn’t wait. But as the evening progressed, it became increasingly obvious that it wasn’t. His chuckles at the screen, the way he tilted it away from your line of sight—it all screamed disinterest.
Still, you gave him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was nervous. Maybe he didn’t realize how much it bothered you.
But then came the comments.
“You don’t seem like the type to like action movies,” he said, after you mentioned your favorite film. His tone wasn’t curious or surprised—it was dismissive, like he already had you pegged as someone who wouldn’t understand explosions and car chases.
“Wow,” you said, forcing a polite smile. “What type do I seem like?”
He shrugged, smirking as he leaned back in his chair. “I don’t know. Rom-coms? Something light and fluffy.”
You bit back the urge to roll your eyes. “Right. Because girls only like light and fluffy things.”
He laughed, completely missing the edge in your voice. “Hey, I didn’t say that. But, you know, it’s not a bad thing. It’s cute.”
By the time dessert arrived, you’d had enough. His phone buzzed again, and this time, you didn’t bother hiding your irritation.
“Do you need to get that?” you asked, your tone sharper than intended.
He glanced up, finally noticing your expression, and smiled sheepishly. “Nah, it’s nothing. Just some friends in a group chat. You know how it is.”
“Right,” you said flatly, setting your fork down. “Well, don’t let me keep you from your important group chat.”
For a moment, he looked genuinely confused, like he couldn’t figure out what had gone wrong. But then his confidence kicked in, and he leaned forward with a smug grin.
“Come on,” he said, his tone dripping with self-assurance. “You have to admit, I’m a pretty great catch. You’re lucky I’m even single.”
You blinked, stunned by the sheer audacity of his words. “Lucky?”
“Yeah,” he said, laughing like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I mean, how often do you meet someone like me? Smart, successful, good-looking—”
You stood up, cutting him off mid-sentence. “Thanks for dinner,” you said, grabbing your bag. “But I think we’re done here.”
“What?” He gaped at you, his grin finally faltering. “Wait, you’re serious?”
“Completely,” you said, throwing some cash onto the table for your share of the bill. “Good luck with… whatever this is.”
You didn’t wait for a response. You turned on your heel and walked out, leaving him sitting there, stunned and silent.
By the time you got back to the apartment, your irritation had morphed into something else—a mix of regret, exhaustion, and the dull buzz of the wine you’d downed at dinner. You’d stopped at a bar on the way home, hoping to wash the memory of the date away, but all it had done was make your head spin.
You fumbled with your keys at the door, muttering under your breath about arrogant men and wasted evenings. When you finally managed to unlock it, you stumbled inside, kicking off your heels with a groan.
The living room was dimly lit, the soft glow of the TV illuminating Gojo, who was sprawled on the couch in his usual carefree manner. A bowl of popcorn sat in his lap, and he turned his head at the sound of the door opening.
“Well, well,” he said, sitting up slightly and smirking at your disheveled state. “Look who’s back. And drunk, no less.”
You glared at him, wobbling slightly as you made your way to the kitchen. “Not now, Gojo.”
“Oh, I think now is exactly the time,” he said, following you with a smirk. “Let me guess—date didn’t go so well?”
You grabbed a glass from the cabinet, filling it with water and drinking deeply before slamming it onto the counter. “You could say that.”
He leaned against the doorframe, watching you with that infuriating grin of his. “What happened? Did he turn out to be a secret serial killer? Or worse—a guy who calls movies ‘content’?”
You snorted despite yourself, grabbing another glass of water. “Worse. He thought he was God’s gift to women.”
Gojo let out a low whistle, shaking his head. “Ouch. Tough break, sweetheart.”
“I don’t need your pity,” you muttered, brushing past him toward your room.
He caught your arm gently, stopping you in your tracks. “Hey,” he said, his voice softer now, his usual teasing tone replaced with something almost genuine. “I’m not pitying you. Just saying you deserve better.”
You looked up at him, your vision slightly blurry, whether from the alcohol or the sincerity in his words.
“I know I do,” you said quietly. “But it’s not like guys like that are exactly rare.”
He frowned, his grip on your arm tightening ever so slightly. “Then maybe stop wasting your time on losers who don’t know what they’ve got.”
You snorted, pulling your arm free, as you entered your room. “Oh, right, because the perfect guy is just going to fall into my lap?”
Gojo grinned at your sarcastic remark, that infuriating spark of mischief lighting up his eyes. Before you could process what was happening, he moved quickly, closing the distance between you in a couple of long strides.
“Gojo, what the—”
Without warning, he gave you a gentle push, and your knees buckled, sending you backward onto your bed. You landed with a soft bounce, your protest cut short as he followed, dropping down beside you in one smooth motion.
But instead of stopping there, he shifted lower, placing his head directly in your lap. His face nestled against your thighs, his hair brushing against the soft fabric of your dress.
Your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding in your chest. “Gojo!”
He tilted his head to look up at you, his grin widening as though this were the most natural thing in the world. “What? You said you were waiting for the perfect guy to fall into your lap. Here I am.”
You stared at him, half in disbelief and half in a panic at the heat creeping up your neck. “Get off me!”
He didn’t budge. Instead, he made himself more comfortable, his arms casually draping across your waist like he belonged there. “Why? Your thighs are pretty nice. You’re comfortable, and I’m saving you from wasting time on all those losers out there.”
Your hands hovered uselessly in the air, unsure whether to shove him off or cover your face to hide the blush spreading across your cheeks. “You’re insane,” you finally managed, trying to ignore the way his breath tickled your skin.
“And you’re cute when you’re mad,” he murmured, his voice dipping into something softer, almost teasing, as his head shifted slightly against your lap.
Before you could snap back, he turned further into your thighs, the movement deliberate, nuzzling deeper as though testing just how far he could push you. Your breath hitched, caught between outrage and something you didn’t want to name.
It wasn’t until you felt the warmth of his breath, hot and steady, against the thin barrier of your panties that you froze completely. The realization hit like a jolt—your dress had ridden up when he pushed you onto the bed, leaving the bare skin of your thighs pressed against his face.
“Gojo,” you said, your voice coming out sharper than intended.
He didn’t immediately move, his lips quirking in a way that told you he knew exactly what he was doing. There was an unmistakable smugness in the way he exhaled, a low hum vibrating against your skin.
“You smell nice,” he remarked lazily, his words sending a shockwave of mortification through you.
Heat flooded your face “You’re disgusting!”
He raised his hands in mock surrender. “What? I’m just being honest. You should be flattered.”
Before you could fire back, he leaned in again, catching you completely off guard. His tongue dragged a slow, deliberate line up the fabric of your panties, the warmth and pressure sending an involuntary shiver down your spine.
Your breath hitched as your hand shot out, fingers tangling in his hair. You yanked, forcing him to pull back slightly. “Gojo—what are you doing?” you muttered, voice barely above a whisper, your cheeks burning hot enough to rival the sun.
His eyes locked onto yours, half-lidded and teasing, as his hands rested firmly on either side of your thighs. “Satoru,” he corrected, his voice low and smooth. “Call me Satoru.”
You couldn’t tell if it was his tone or the way he said it, but something about the moment sent your thoughts scattering. His gaze, piercing and unrelenting, didn’t waver as you tried to form a coherent response.
“Satoru,” you repeated, the name slipping out more out of shock than agreement.
He hummed in approval, the sound vibrating through him and straight into you. “See? That wasn’t so hard.” His grin softened, still playful but laced with something heavier, something you couldn’t quite place. The weight of his gaze was nearly unbearable.
“What are you doing—?” you asked again, your voice catching in your throat. Your eyes stayed locked on his, searching for any hint that he was joking, that this was just another one of his games.
Instead, his expression softened further, the teasing edge of his smirk shifting into something far more deliberate. “Remember what I said before you went out?”
You frowned, confused and thrown off balance, but before you could respond, he reached up. His hand closed over yours where it was still tangled in his hair, his touch uncharacteristically gentle as he pried your fingers free. You let him guide your hand down, watching in stunned silence as he brought it to his lips.
The kiss he pressed to your knuckles was warm, lingering, and shockingly intimate. The sensation sent a jolt through you, your breath hitching as his lips brushed against your skin.
“‘If he breaks your heart, I’m always here to fix it,’” he murmured, his tone lower now, almost a whisper, like the words were meant for you alone.
His eyes stayed on yours, and for once, they weren’t filled with amusement or mockery. There was something raw there, something that made your stomach twist painfully, though whether it was from unease or… something else, you couldn’t say.
You couldn’t find the words to respond, your voice caught in your throat. Your heart hammered in your chest, and your head felt too foggy, too clouded with alcohol and the heat of his touch.
“So…” he said after a moment, his thumb brushing lightly over the back of your hand, tracing absent patterns into your skin. “What do you say? Will you let me fix your heartbreak?”
His smile returned, slow and deliberate, but it wasn’t as infuriating as before. This one was softer, almost tender, though it still carried that maddening confidence that was so inherently him.
The room seemed to shrink around you, the air growing heavier with every passing second. You felt his free hand move, his palm sliding to rest against your thigh. His touch was steady, the warmth of it searing through your skin.
You knew you should say something—anything—but the words wouldn’t come. Your mind was spinning, and it felt like all the blood in your body had rushed to your face. Every instinct screamed at you to pull away, to break whatever spell he was weaving.
And yet, before you even realized what you were doing, you nodded. It was subtle, hesitant, but unmistakable.
His smile widened, a glimmer of triumph flashing in his eyes. “Good answer,” he said softly, his hand squeezing your thigh just enough to make your pulse quicken.
You swallowed hard, your breathing uneven as he leaned in closer, his face still pressed near your lap, his thumb still tracing lazy circles into your skin. Your thoughts felt muddled, trapped somewhere between disbelief and the hazy warmth spreading through your body.
Somewhere deep down, a small part of you screamed to stop this, to regain control of the situation. But in that moment, with the alcohol clouding your judgment and his touch grounding you in ways you couldn’t explain, you didn’t move.
You barely had time to register what was happening before his hands found your shoulders, gently pushing your upper body back against the mattress. The soft give of the bed beneath you made it impossible to resist as he shifted your position, leaving you staring up at the ceiling.
His movements were deliberate, slow enough to let you protest if you wanted to. But you didn’t. You felt the brush of his hands against your thighs, warm and confident as he worked your dress higher, inch by inch, until it bunched at your waist. The cool air hitting your skin made you shiver, and you became acutely aware of just how exposed you were.
Your damp panties were now on full display, the fabric clinging to you in a way that made heat bloom across your face. A small voice in your head begged you to snap out of it, to push him away and demand he stop. But the alcohol’s haze dulled that voice into a faint whisper.
The you from a week ago would be screaming at you right now. She’d call you an idiot for letting this happen, for giving him this satisfaction. You knew Gojo—he’d never let you live this down. Tomorrow, he’d smirk and tease, and you’d be left trying to figure out why you hadn’t stopped him.
But none of that mattered right now. You were too drunk, too tired, too overwhelmed to care.
Just this once, you thought. You’d let him have this one, even if you knew it was a terrible idea.
His fingers slid over the damp fabric of your panties, his touch cold enough to make you shiver but firm enough to send a spark of something foreign racing through you. He pressed his palm against the growing wet patch, massaging gently, as if testing your reaction.
“So wet,” he murmured, his voice low and almost reverent. His thumb brushed over the edge of the fabric, dangerously close to your bare skin.
Your breath hitched, and you bit down on your lip to keep from making a sound. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, your gaze glued to the ceiling as his words hung in the air, taunting you with their boldness.
You should have stopped him. You knew you should have. But instead, your body betrayed you, your hips shifting just slightly into his touch. It was all the encouragement he needed.
a/n: get cockblocked loser ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜
© fvsm4x : do not translate, plagiarise or steal my work.
#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#satoru gojo#jjk gojo#jjk x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#gojo angst#jujutsu kaisen gojo#gojo saturo#geto suguru#gojo smut#gojou x reader#satoru x reader
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SLYTHERINSLUT0’S KINKTOBER
october 18th. mattheo — hate fucking / enemies.

KINKTOBER MASTERLIST. | 2024.
summary: “at least her favourite form of foreplay isn’t an argument…” “or being a bitch her kink..”
warnings: 18+ MDNI, dubcon(meh), ex bf/gf trope, toxic behaviour, mutual manipulation, these two are chaotic as fuck, mentions of blood, gagging, degradation, rough sex PIV, hate fucking, spitting, spanking, uhhh i think that covers it. this one is a ride. can you tell this is my fav trope?
"I'm so fucking sick of you.”
"Get well soon, princess."
"Get fucked, Riddle."
Three sentences, three venomous insults that cut the room in half—heavy enough in their intensity to make you want to tear through dungeon walls, splintering stone and mortar with bare hands if it means sparing yourself another second in this blasted room, with him.
Detention at midnight—on a Friday, no fucking less—is unheard of. But leave it to your dickhead ex to make the impossible a reality. His fault, of course. Like always.
Snape had turned a blind eye for months. It was only a matter of time before something had to give. An hour unsupervised was as good as you'll get.
Sulking defeat, you sink back in your chair, rough wood digging into your spine as you eye Mattheo with a glare that could rival a bullet. He looks like hell, and it's infuriating how even in that state he manages to look so nonchalant, so maddeningly unbothered—like even exhaustion makes a home on him and he's comfortable with it. Bags under his eyes, scar cutting across the bridge of his nose, those dark curls falling messily over his forehead, white dress shirt wrinkled and open at the collar.
You roll your eyes, a gesture that feels like your only act of rebellion left.
And he notices. Of course he does.
"You haven't changed a bit," he spits, and you know it's an insult. You scowl as he swipes the blood off his chin with the sleeve of his shirt. "Always a bitch to me over something."
Bitch. The name strikes you, but you won't let him see it, won't let him know that it lands. You've bled too many times at his feet for him to draw blood again tonight.
"Am I not allowed to be pissed off that you dragged us into detention? We should be at the party, Mattheo. We should be anywhere but here." You hear the frustration rising in your voice, like it's boiling up from somewhere deep, somewhere you can't quite reach. It's hard not to let it slip, especially when he looks at you like that. "This is so fucking typical of you. You mess up, and somehow I'm the one who pays for it."
For a moment, there's silence, and it almost feels like a victory until you realize he's only biding his time, waiting to strike back.
"You really want to get back there? To that party?" He leans forward, elbows resting on his knees. You long for the chair to break from under him. "After what your new man was caught doing with Lovegood?"
You snort before you can stop yourself, the sound slipping out like a reflex. You hadn't expected that. And quite frankly, it's amusing—no, downright hilarious—that he's clearly been keeping tabs on you and "new man", and now here he is, trying to play it off like he doesn't care. Like it's nothing.
"I'll spare you the insults this once," you mutter, fingers loosening the tie around your neck with a tug. "Because, clearly, you're ignorant to the truth, even if you think you know every goddamn thing." You pause, ripping out your earrings. "He's not my man, so I don't give a shit what he does with who. He ended it last week. Good fuck, sure—but other than that..."
You trail off, making a mocking noise with your lips, a derisive puff of air, as if you could blow away the memory of him as easily as dust off an old book. A Ravenclaw. Brilliant in all the wrong ways—sharp mind, yes, but utterly thrill-less, like he saw you as just another page to flip through, a textbook he was annotating.
It is what it is.
A moment passes and then Mattheo grins—slow at first, but spreading across his face like fire, destructive in its consummation. It unsettles you. He looks more intrigued than he's been in months.
"A good fuck, huh?"
"That's what I said," you reply, clipped, your tone offering no room for him to crawl inside.
"And why didn't it work out? Too good for you?" He says, twisting the knife just because he can. "Too clean, maybe?"
Your eyes scan the room, searching for something within reach to throw at him, anything to break this unbearable tension. Insufferable. Every inch of him, insufferable.
You find nothing, so you throw words instead. "You're an asshole, you know that?"
He nods, as if that's the truest thing either of you have said all night. Of course he knows.
You barely suppress a dry laugh at his idiocy. "Like I told you—he ended it. If you're so fucking interested in why it didn't work out, then why don't you go ask him?"
There's a pause—he's chewing the inside of his cheek as he stares at you. You imagine chewing his head off as you stare at him.
"I'm sure you gave that bookworm the ride of his life," he says, voice half-dry, half-sarcastic, as if he's already bored of the conversation. As if he knew all of this information already. "Everyone knew that was temporary. Your first rebound, congrats."
And just like that, your blood is boiling. He knows how to needle you, how to get under your skin with the slightest flick of his stupid fucking tongue. Your eyes trace the cold stone of the dungeon walls, desperately trying to find something—anything—to distract yourself.
But it's no use. Mattheo's an asshole. He's always been an asshole. That's why you left. All the two of you did was fight and fuck, a chaotic spiral that was as thrilling as it was destructive. Now, he's easily your enemy—dragging you into his messes, never letting you get too far without ruining your life somehow.
And yet—
If you said you didn't miss the sex sometimes, that'd be a lie. Or at least a half-truth. The kind that slips out when you've had one too many glasses of firewhiskey, the kind you'd regret in the morning.
"What about you, dickhead?" You cut through the silence, ignoring his obvious attempt to rile you up. "That Hufflepuff you were seeing—why'd I see her all over Theo tonight?"
He answers far too fast. "They're friends."
You snort, disbelieving. "Right."
You rise to your feet, crossing the room to the bookcase as if it's the most natural thing in the world. The books feel safer somehow, less volatile.
"You're bored of her, aren't you?" You don't care to look at him. You can imagine the way his jaw tenses at the question.
The silence is telling. He doesn't answer right away. You know him well enough to understand what that means. Then, finally, he speaks, a half-answer that doesn't really answer the fucking question at all.
"At least her favourite form of foreplay isn't a fucking argument." He stands, slow, pushing his hair back from his forehead with one battered hand. You glance at him, pulse quickening. "Or being a bitch her kink."
"Does she even have kinks?" It slips out, a knife thrown without aiming. "Sounds like you're bored, Matty."
You watch as he blinks, his eyes darken. That nickname—you know you don't have the right to say it anymore, and that's exactly why you do. It's an insult wrapped in familiarity, and it hits its mark by the way his shoulders tense, jaw tight.
He steps toward you, one calculated step, and you feel it—that chaotic pull, the gravity that's always drawn you both in, no matter how far you try to stay away. A smile pulls at your lips, a cruel thing.
"How cute." He tilts his head just enough to inspect you, eyes dragging over you like he's searching for something to confirm what he already suspects. "Looks like you're jealous."
Your hand grips the bookshelf, eyes locked on him over your shoulder. Jealous? There's not a soul on this planet who could make you jealous. She may be the hero of this story, the girl that gets the guy, might even be everything you're not—
"Looks like you're learning the hard way," you're inspecting him now, too. Every piece of him you once touched. "When it comes too easy it's never gonna' hit as hard, babe."
Another pause from him—something dancing in his eyes. Anger? Maybe. Or something more, something twisted that you don't care to name. You've already lit the match, and now you're just watching him burn.
"You're so clever, huh? So full of advice," he sneers, ripping off his tie and chucking it on a desk. "Go on then, tell me more about how I feel, professor. Since you know everything about me."
You can't help the smirk that curls on your lips. Oh, he's pissed. And that means you're winning.
"What? You don't like hearing the truth? Too much for your delicate ego?" You take a step toward him, savouring every second of this. He hurt you, over and over, the scars from those days still fresh, still bleeding beneath your skin. This has been a long time coming. "You think I care about your new girl, Matty? The one you let your boys fawn over in the common room?...she kissed Theo tonight." You pause, letting that linger. "You think you're doing something, but I see right through you. You don't give a fuck about her. If you did, no one would dare touch her like that. So don't sit here, accusing me of jealousy, like I'm the one hung up on you. You're projecting. And it's pathetic."
He doesn't waste a goddamn beat—his laugh is bitter, sickeningly so—and he advances again, his shadow moving behind him, the space between you now barely there.
"That's amazing, truly. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were a goddamn oracle. All-knowing, all-seeing." His voice is infuriating. The look on his face more-so. "What's your verdict then, my lord? You think this is all an act? That everything I'm doing is just to spite you?"
Your heart races, breath catching in your throat as he steps closer. This is a dance you both know too well, the kind where neither of you win.
"I know how you operate." Your chest heaves, anger rising with every breath. "It's all a game to you, Matt. A sick, twisted game to keep yourself entertained."
"That's rich, coming from someone who played it just as well." He takes another step forward. You could reach out and touch him now he's that close. His grin grows. "Too bad your Ravenclaw figured it out before you could sink your teeth in too deep. Next time you see him, make sure to tell him I said you're welcome."
Your brows pinch—the blood in your veins screeching to a halt, backing up like New York traffic at a standstill. You feel it, hot and furious, rushing toward a place it can't go, clogged behind the wall of rage building up inside you—
"You're welcome?" You spit, a sharp snarl caught between clenched teeth. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
He's watching you, his eyes darting over your shoulder, fingers brushing over his lips like he's trying to dull that familiar smirk, that cruel little game he's always played.
Your stomach sinks, drops to your feet.
"Mattheo—" you snap, cutting him off just as he opens his mouth, before he can throw another snide word. "Spare me the cryptic bullshit for once in your life—“
His eyebrows lift at that, but there's a nod, a hint of something deeper in it. You taste the smugness in the air between you, can almost feel it slithering through his silence.
"Looks like you don't know everything after all. Isn't that ironic?" He straightens up, letting the moment breathe before his face hardens into something almost serious. "Your rebound came to me in the courtyard about two weeks ago. Had some questions about you."
"What?" Your nerves are vibrating, every cell in your body on edge. Your blood is so clogged, you swear you're seeing red. "What questions?"
"The usual sort of normal stuff. Your birthday. Your favorite colour. Childhood traumas. Our downfall. You know."
The casualty in the way he says it makes you sick, bile rising in your throat, a bitter burn at the back of your mouth. It's all starting to come together now. This stupid motherfucker—
"You're lying." The words feel weak, frail. He wouldn't—no, he couldn't. "You're fucking lying."
"Am I?" His fingers brush your cheek, but your skin's gone numb, your blood too frozen to feel anything but the cold burn of your fury. "Or, is the truth just…too much for your delicate ego to handle?"
Oh, fuck off—
Your wand is in your hand before you even realize you've grabbed it, instinct, pure reflex. There's barely a second of rational thought before you're casting, the spell hitting him square in the chest, sending him flying back into the chair he once sat in. His eyes flash, anger igniting there, and he scrambles for his wand—but you're faster.
"Expelliarmus."
One word and you're across the room before you even know you've moved, chest tight as you slam the tip of your wand against his throat. There's a cut on his lip, blood trickling down his chin for a second time tonight, but that stupid fucking smirk is still there, showcasing rubies for teeth and carved into his face like it belongs.
"Tell me what you did." Your voice cracks, but not from fear—it's fury, burgling through you, burning hot enough to make your whole body shake. You half want to cut him open just to bury your rage inside him, let him feel it. "If what you're saying is true, he ended things just days later. Tell me what the fuck you said to him."
Mattheo’s leaning back, hands raised in mock surrender, eyes glinting with the same smug amusement that's always haunted him. He's daring you, taunting you. He knows you never cared about that guy, not really.
You both know it. He was boring, easy.
This—this is something else.
His tongue swipes at the blood on his lip. "He didn't tell you—"
"Don't." Your wand digs deeper into his skin, cutting off whatever he was about to say. The pressure makes his breath hitch, but not enough. Not nearly enough. "I said tell me."
"Merlin—okay—I told him nothing, nothing really," his voice makes your grip tighten on your wand. He stares at you for a long, hard minute before he adds; "except that he should show me some fucking gratitude."
Your jaw slips, confusion rushing in like a flood. But before you can even question him—
"I told him he should be thanking me." Another pause. "When he's fucking you."
He laps at the blood seeping from the cut on his lip for the second time in only a minute and you barely notice the movement—the words hit you like a brick, but it's deeper than that, something visceral that crawls under your skin and settles in your bones. It's sharp, raw, cutting through the wall of rage so fast it leaves you breathless. You don't know how to explain it, this feeling that twists through you, something far too complicated to be named.
And then, you become aware of everything at once.
His legs, spread wide on either side of yours, the space between you so small, your chest just close enough to his face that his breath feels like it's fogging your skin. You're towering over him, wand pressed hard into his throat, your heart hammering in your chest like you're ready to ruin him—but his eyes, the way he looks up at you, says he'd let you.
"I may have even added that although you're with him, you'll always think of me. Both you and him know it’s true.“ That stupid smirk is gone, replaced with something you've never quite seen before. He pauses, before he continues. "You miss it. Us." Another pause. There’s something victorious in his tone, something that's almost breaking you. "And no matter how many times you try to forget, you never do, do you?"
Salazar save you—you should hex him. You should fucking hex him. Every nerve in your body is screaming for it, begging for it, but you can't. You can't fucking move. Your wand is still pressed to his skin, but it feels like you're the one pinned down.
"Shut up," you finally manage, but your voice is meek, thin, nothing like the fury you want to feel. "You...you're being—"
"I'll shut up," his hand finds your wrist, pressing your wand tip against his neck with more force—enough to make himself wince. "If you make me."
You blink, stunned, and you can feel your anger slipping, slipping faster than you can catch it. You don't know what's happening to you—it’s just him—his sick twisted insanity that disarms you. Time and time again. An endless fucking cycle.
"I could ruin you," you whisper, but it sounds more like you're trying to convince yourself than him. You press the wand deeper, just enough to draw a grunt from him, but the look on his face—he's not afraid. No, he's enjoying it. "I have more reasons than most to leave you here bloodied for Snape to find in the morning."
You say the words but the conviction is gone, swept away in the flood of heat between you—the dizzying proximity, the way his lips curl, almost smiling but not quite—
"What are you so afraid of?" He whispers, and there's something fragile in his voice now. "That you might actually want this?"
"I don't want this." You force the words out immediately, hoping they will make it real. Hoping they'll stop this spiral. "I regret ever wanting this."
He’s silent for a moment as he lowers his hands, dark eyes falling to trace your lips—
"I know you hate me, the feelings mutual...but I know. I know I'll always be your favourite regret," those chocolate curls shift, his head tilts closer, too close. Not close enough. "You're still my weapon of choosing."
Merlin. Merlin bloody forgive you—
"…to hurt yourself with?” It's half a question, but you already know the answer.
He nods, and that does it.
Your lips are on his, fast and hard and bruising—and the reaction is immediate, visceral. All that backed-up blood—all that rage frozen in your veins rushes forward in a single, scorching wave. It crashes low, between your thighs, a heat so sharp it aches. The shame comes with it. So does the disgust. A sick knot of self-hatred pulsing through you as you taste his blood on your tongue while his hands are under your skirt, grabbing you like he owns you, pulling you into him. It's only a moment before your wand clatters to the ground, and your hands are tangled in his hair, yanking hard, hard enough to hurt.
You want it to hurt. God, you want it to hurt.
He growls at the sting on his scalp—and then, everything flips.
His fingers tug at something, and you realize it's his own wand, the one you tucked into the back of your skirt—and before you can even think, he's got it, casting a spell that sends you flying back onto the desk behind you. You groan—the world spins, but you don't even have a second to gather yourself before he's advancing toward you, casting another spell on his tie.
Within seconds it's slithering across your lips and tying itself around your head, gagging you.
He steps between your legs, parts them with the ease of someone who's done it a thousand times before—rough hands gliding up your thighs, eyes wild. His fingers slip beneath your underwear, through your slit, and you try to hold on to any shred of control, but it's gone. You can feel it. The way you forget everything except the way he leans down, breath hot in your ear.
"Look how fucking wet you are," he spits through a sneering grin. "You're goddamn shameless, aren't you?"
You roll your eyes, but your thoughts scatter the moment his fingers shove inside you, curling hard—so hard you gasp into the tie, your back arching violently off the desk.
"He ever get you this wet?" His voice is like gravel, each word grinding into your bones. "Nod your head if he did."
Your body reacts before your mind does, arching against him, but you don't move your head. As much as it hurts your pride to give him that win. You dig your fingers into his hair and pull—hard enough to make him grunt, hard enough to hurt.
His hand comes down hard on your thigh in response, a sharp smack that stings, a warning. You squeal, and his fingers start pumping faster, deeper.
He huffs. "That's what I thought."
His fingers make quick work of you, relentless, and his thumb presses to your clit, rolling circles in a rhythm that has your blood on fire, shame licking at the edges of your vision, but it only makes you burn hotter. This is all wrong. Everything about this is wrong, something you'll regret with every fiber of your being tomorrow, but right now, it's an ache you need.
It's the wound you keep reopening, the pain you crave because it's the only thing that ever feels real.
"Fuck, you're close, aren't you?" He sounds almost shocked, like he can't believe how easily your body betrays you, but you feel it too, the disbelief crashing through you as fast as the pleasure does. Too fast. Far too fast. "Did he ever make you cum? Huh? When's the last time you fucking came?"
You can't answer, just groan, yanking at his hair again. His response is immediate, another stinging slap to your inner thigh, sharp enough to make fluid prick your eyes. Your orgasm is right there, teetering on the edge, ready to tip over—but then he slows his pace, dragging it out, torturing you.
You whine. A pitiful, desperate sound you hate yourself for.
"Look at me." His voice cuts through the haze, and begrudgingly, you do. "He didn't make you cum, did he?"
Your face burns, not from his breath or his fingers or even the astronomical amount of shame you feel—but from the truth of it. You shake your head.
"How long?" His voice shatters the air between you. "A week?"
You shake your head again, biting into the fabric of his tie as his fingers curl deeper inside you.
"Two weeks?"
Another shake. He curses under his breath.
"You poor little thing." His words are venom, but the second they spill from his lips, he pumps his fingers into you again, massaging at your walls, and your vision goes white. "Can't even cum without me."
You would've slapped him if you could, would've torn him apart, but the orgasm hits you like a freight train, ripping through you with violent force. You clench around his digits, thighs trembling as you ride the wave of pleasure, convulsing, moaning into the tie as he watches you like he's won.
"So fucking easy." He withdraws his fingers, and immediately, his hands go to his belt. "We'll make up for lost time."
Everything about this feels like a rerun. The same scene playing out on loop, again and again—a cycle of self-destruction you know too well, like running headfirst into a burning building, certain you can handle the smoke only to choke on it.
He's taking off his belt, ready to fuck you stupid, and by morning you'll be back to the same familiar hatred, tearing each other apart in new, inventive ways. Your hands move sluggishly to rip the tie from your mouth, but you're slow, too slow, still dizzy from the release that blindsided you, one that you haven't felt in so long—the fabric barely grazes your fingers before Mattheo catches your wrists, yanking them back, dragging you to your feet in one rough motion.
The spin disorients you—arms pinned behind your back, his cock sliding between your thighs.
"You've done enough talking today," he hisses at your ear as he drags along your slit. "You want this, don't you?"
Your mind screams for you to shake your head, to end this here and now. You know he'd stop—he's an asshole, but not that kind of an asshole. You know it. You almost do it, almost say the word that would shatter this madness. But then he drags his tip against your clit and you moan before you can stop yourself.
Your head nods with a wanton moan, and it's so full of shame your eyes sting with tears.
"Yeah, I know, baby." He's taunting you, every syllable smug, condescending. "This pussy missed me so much, huh?" His hand tightens on your wrists until your skin burns, the other hand finding its way around your thigh, pulling you closer to him. "Fuckin' lost without me. S'all it's good for, isn't it? Taking my cock."
You groan, shaking your head in defiance, but even that feels like a lie. You hate him. You want him. You hate yourself for wanting him.
"No?" His fingers inch toward your clit, ghosting over it—you squeal, hips jerking for more. "Maybe we should call this off then?"
You blink once and his fingers are gone—wrenching a whine out of you, pathetic as you push your ass back against him, shame burning through you as you shake your head. Fuck him. Curse him. But you need him inside you, need him to fill the aching void that gnaws at you.
"That's my slut," he growls, and before you can process the words, he's inside you—one long, brutal thrust that spears you open, the stretch burning deep. The sting mixes with shock of his fingers returning to your clit, rubbing circles that make your knees buckle. "You know you're the only girl I've fucked raw? This pussy will always be mine."
He's fucking insane. Completely insane. And the worst part is, you're just as insane for wanting him. For needing him. You can't fight it. You don't even want to. Not now. Not when his voice drips like poison and he's tearing you apart in the only way you understand.
"Mmmf—" you groan into the tie and he's matching you, his teeth grazing your shoulder, marking you in ways that will last for days.
"I hope it hurts," he grumbles against your skin, his breath ragged. He's lying, you can feel it in the way his fingers are moving, coaxing you to cum, even as he pretends to wish you pain. "I hope it fucking stings."
Your hands ball into fists, trapped in his grip, and you imagine clawing at his back until you draw blood, sinking your nails in until he feels every ounce of your anger.
"I want you to feel it—fuck—I want you to remember this," he pants, his voice barely more than a growl as your climax crashes toward you, unstoppable now. "Remember how weak I make you. How much of a slut you are for me."
Another harsh thrust and then, you're there—falling into the void—pleasure is so strong it bleeds out of you, forcing your cunt to clamp tight around him, legs trembling, barely able to support you through it. Mattheo’s curses slip through clenched teeth, but this only fuels him—his rhythm picks up, brutal, hips slamming against your ass with a pace that borders on unhinged.
"Fuck. Oh, fuck." The words are barely audible, grunted against the shell of your ear. You're whining, still twitching with aftershocks, but he doesn't care. His hands are on your hips now, fingers digging deep as he thrusts you forward, slamming you over the desk. The wood bites into your palms as you try to brace yourself, but his anger is palpable, drilling into you— "you wanna bitch at me now?"
The moan you release is automatic, instinctual. You can't stop it. Can't control it. His fingers curl around your throat, shifting the tie down to shove two into your mouth.
"Hhhhh—" you're trying to form words around his fingers, but it's impossible. The garbled sound is pathetic, but he knows exactly what you're trying to say.
"You hate me. I know." It’s smug, punctuated by a sharp smack to your ass, the sting of it making you yelp. He pulls his fingers from your mouth, wiping the spit across your cheek before he grips your jaw, forcing your head to turn, to meet his eyes. "Open your mouth."
There's no time to process the demand. His eyes are molten, crazed, filled with something raw and uncontainable. His next thrust is punishing, slamming into your cervix, making you sob—your mouth parting just enough—
He leans in close, and then he spits into your mouth.
"Swallow it." His fingers dig into your cheeks, pressing the order into your bones. "Be a good girl for once."
You choke out a laugh, even as you're panting, even as he's splitting you stupid.
"Never." The word barely leaves your lips before you’re spitting back at him—your entwined saliva landing across his chin and lips.
For a second, you expect the worst—you brace yourself for the retaliation—the slap, the insult, the way he'll tighten his grip and take back control. But to your surprise, instead of anger, there's a grin—wide and feral, big and crazed enough to reach his eyes.
You smile back. His cock twitches inside you.
"Fuck me," he mutters, then crashes his mouth to yours.
You taste the salt and bitterness of mingled spit, a mess of his and yours, and it pulls a moan from somewhere deep inside you. He devours it, greedy, his hips growing erratic, sloppy as his high nears.
His hand drops to your clit, fingers pressing with a precision that obliterates every last shred of sanity—and it takes only moments before the pressure builds again, fast and furious. Your third orgasm rips you apart, your body clenching tight, muscles seizing as you're lost in it. You're not sure where you end and he begins—your breath congealing with his, your moans swallowed in the space between you.
His release follows right after, crashing over him as he buries himself deep, spilling into you with a groan that reverberates through your bones. You hate the way it feels. You hate the way he fills you. But you also can't deny the twisted satisfaction of it—the way you sought this punishment, needed it. The shame consumes you, but it's comforting in its familiarity.
He pulls out, and the silence between you is easy, broken only by your ragged breathing. The room feels impossibly small now, your body still thrumming with the aftermath, but the moment is over. You both start to move—piecing yourselves back together, pulling clothes into place, avoiding the weight of what just happened.
You don't understand how it came to this, how it always does, but you're not surprised. Not anymore.
After a long, silent moment, he looks at you. “I don’t regret what I did.”
You know he doesn’t.
“I know.”
He blinks. “I won’t apologize for it.”
You know he won’t.
“I know.”
He nods, now, a smirk on his lips as he watches you fix your skirt. You note the hair sticking to his forehead, how he’s still catching his breath even though he’s pretending he isn’t.
“You aren’t mad.” An observation.
“I’m not.” You reply. You know you should be, but the relief you felt when that Ravenclaw ended things tells you everything you need to know. “Just, never do it again.”
He nods again. “Sure.”
You’re pretty sure he doesn’t mean that—but, at least now, as you glance over at him, there's a small comfort in knowing you no longer want to kill him.
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