#like the book started off ehhhh

[sohya]

the ritual

[six-eyed-samurai]

SUMMARY: A letter from Urokondaki has Giyuu flying back - not knowing he'd wind up back to you who he loves and rejected. A/N: This is possibly the most cliche thing I've written about but enjoy the twist WARNINGS: Reader is female and has a sister because I said so. TAGLIST: (lemme know if you wanna be removed or added): @abadonkori @therabbitthatpostthings MASTERLIST/PREVIOUS FICS

What were you both, exactly? This one Giyuu couldn't answer, because as cliché as it sounded he didn't know.

What were you? This was something Giyuu could answer, although he'd never tell you…or anyone. It was cliché, but you were an absolute goddess he was head over heels with and if he could worship you day in day out, he would. It was cliché, but he wanted to be the one you first set those bright doe eyes on every day, the first you head to when you were hurting emotionally or physically - your first love and he fantasized about being your last.

(A lot more than he should be, Giyuu realized, when Kocho caught him staring off into space and smiling a little too “lovesick-y”, she claimed, and asked who was he so down bad for.)

How you both met sounded like something out of a romance novel too. A romance novel in an ugly world of death and demons, true, but just as romantic and cliché as any story. He had been sent to go help a group of slayers faced with an adversary far beyond their level and when he had arrived it was an utter disaster of blood left, right and center.

Giyuu had made quick work of the demon and turned to check on the exhausted, collapsed slayers. He had been told there were six, so why were there only five?

“Tomioka-san! (y/l/n) ran off to go fight the other demon, where is she?” Other demon? Giyuu whipped around to go after-

And then you arrived, like some goddess of the hunt, leaping from the air and decapitating the lunging demon's head right before its talons could touch him. His eyes widened.

How did you still smile so brightly, like you were genuinely delighted he was here, despite being splattered in blood and bruises? Maybe that was one of the things that made him fall from the start. “Oh, hey, Tomioka-san! You're finally here!”

That should've been that. Giyuu would've been content with that mental snapshot of you in all your heroic glory forever.

But out of the blue you once again showed up suddenly, abruptly, at his Estate with a bento box and persistent knocking at his door.

“Tomioka-san! Are you home? I really wanted to thank you for saving us that day, so I brought you some food. I hope you like it!”

You had saved him, why were you thanking him? Giyuu was too stunned to do anything but let you in and just gape, completely unaware this wouldn't be the first time you would barge in and liven up his pathetic lonely life.

He had assumed you would leave the moment he collected the bento, but…no? You just sat there and chatted away about anything and everything that came to your mind: a recent book you read, the bout of rain lately, demon activity, training, your family. You pushed him to talk about himself too and he found himself opening up subconsciously, heavily infected by your energy - his favourite meal so you could make it next time, something he'd like to do in the future, any hobbies? Giyuu thought you probably knew a lot more about him than the rest of the Hashira after just that one meal.

“Well, it's been nice eating with you - oh no, is your haori torn?”

“…yes. It was from the fight but I hadn't had time to fix it yet.”

“Ehhhh, no worries about that! I'm not too bad at sewing and I'm sure you're very busy, so I could do it for you if you'd like.”

Then it went on for months, a push and pull from the both of you coming up with various excuses to see each other beyond brief lunches. Mostly you suggesting them, true, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't jumped on them as eagerly as a puppy, embarrassingly. You returned with his repaired haori and to thank you he bought the next meal, then you asked for some slaying tips and he awkwardly realized the only way he could explain properly was through practical work, then you brought him salmon daikon for the extra training. So on and so forth.

Even if he had tried to push you away, you were too stupidly stubborn and kept coming like some train of friendliness; something he fell a little more for, other than your care for even the most useless of slayers, your determination to keep training no matter what, your quiet reassurance when grief still clouded his days…no amount of paper in the world could cover all the things he loved about you.

It went on for so long that Giyuu could call you the highlight of his days - his friend. His only friend, not counting Kocho (she doesn't count).

But he suddenly knew when he wanted to be more than that when he apologized for not being as talkative. You blinked, then laughed. “Don’t be! I like challenging myself to get a reaction out of you!”

The corner of his lip half turned up. “What reaction?”

“Y’know, when you smile like that. It’s cute to watch.”

“I’m not smiling.” His face heated up and he busied himself with slurping up the rest of his soba.

“Or when you blush like that,” you added. Giyuu nearly fell into the soup as you laughed.

Luckily he didn’t, but he fell for you even harder.

It was just as cliche then, when it was abruptly at some point Giyuu realized he had no idea whatever it was the two of you were. “Friends” sounded a little too dishonest - did friends turn up in the middle of the night because they couldn’t sleep and decide to stargaze together? Did friends somehow wind up holding hands and falling asleep against each other during said night?

Did friends rush to say goodbye to other before missions and fret so worriedly about their safety? Did friends get flustered so much around each other? Did friends get teased by Kocho, giggled at by Kanroji, be asked when the two of them had started dating by Kamado?

No. Giyuu didn’t have much experience in this but he knew that every day it was getting harder for him not to simply blurt out those eight letters to you.

The problem wasn’t that he thought he was going to get rejected - Giyuu wasn’t as obliviously blind as everyone thought, he’d seen the way you glanced at him to see if he found the joke funny, the extra effort you threw in for his bento when cooking for everyone. He held back because he was afraid. Terrified the moment he’d ask to be yours the gods who had tormented him for so long would awaken and strike you down. He was cursed, jinxed, hexed to never have anyone he cherished, not when the list was so extensive - Sabito, Tsutako. If he were to ever allow you to get close to him he’d just have another grave to cry over.

Giyuu knew he’d have to break it to you one day but he’d never thought it’d be so soon.

“Hey…Giyuu.” You tugged at your hair nervously, something he found endearing. He nodded in acknowledgement. “I…this is so silly and cliched, really, saying something like this under -” you breathed an anxious laugh “-a sakura tree under the moon, but…I think I really like you. Beyond just friends. I’ve never looked at anyone like I do at you before and some days I think I’m going to have to go to Kocho because my heart’s beating at an unhealthily fast rate around you. I - you don’t have to feel the same, but I hope you’ll accept my confession. It’s cliche, like I said, but there’s no one else I want to spend my life with, however short in the Corps.”

“(y/n)…”

You looked at him hopefully and he looked at you blankly. You weren’t to know how hard he was going to cry over this later on.

“I apologize, but I don’t feel the same.”

If he couldn’t push you away, he’d pull away, with distance and the silent treatment. Giyuu never realized how different the both of your worlds were until he made the effort to avoid you at all costs. They spun on different axis, and if you didn’t seek him out or he didn’t go to find you, you both would never run into each other at all.

For the best, right? For your own good.

***

It was hopeless.

You tried and tried to go on being friends but Giyuu didn’t make it easy for you at all. He trained all day to use it as an excuse for being too busy and reject all your invitations. He politely informed you you could stop cooking for him as to not trouble yourself. You were going to break yourself into a million, emotionally shattered pieces if you continued to chase after someone who didn’t want you, you knew, but it was Giyuu, for god’s sakes. You both had poured so much into your friendship, how could you just leave it be?

A small voice still nagged that you were just hung up on him and that he was the one being mature about this whole affair, which led you to finally decide to take a break away from everything for a while and head back to your hometown - your sister had been begging you for a visit for some time. But you still wanted to make the effort, so you wrote to Giyuu that you’d be away from the Corps for maybe a fortnight.

He made a curt reply barely lasting a paragraph and that was that. You balled it up and threw it into the trash, restraining the tears that were going to spill, then resumed packing.

Heading home was the break you had needed after all. Meeting your old village friends and catching up on the times, recounting childhood memories with the people you used to know. After spending so long running around from village to town to slay demons it was just…relieving to set your bags down in your old home and finally have a place to return to again. Your mother and great uncle were beyond delighted you had returned home and needless to say you were coddled and spoiled and stuffed with homecooked meals. Even the chores that once seemed exhausting were nothing to the brutal training you had gone through - absolute bliss, really.

They took your mind off your recent rejection.

Yet somehow your younger sister Yumiko wormed it out of you anyway as you both sat under the giant tree you both used to spend countless days frolicking under when you were kids, watching her grow even more flustered the more you teasingly pushed her about her love life.

“Come on, I’m your big sis, I need to know who’s caught your eye!”

“No, we’re nothing official - he - hey! Sto - oh - op tickling me! Fi - fine, I”ll - heh - tell!”

You sat back, satisfied. “Well?”

“His name’s Sanekhiro…” Yumiko got a little dreamy-eyed. “He’s really clumsy and forgetful, but really sweet! He got me this hairpin the other day; he said it reminded him of me and had been saving up money to buy it.”

Your hand unconsciously reached up to finger your own hairpin - the one Giyuu had gotten you not too long ago. He’d been so funny about gifting it to you, nudging it closer and closer to your soba bowl until you noticed it and asked. Maybe he panicked, maybe he was trying to be cool, but he blanked for a moment before saying “Oh, isn’t this yours?”

The corner of your mouth twitched. It was a very cute memory…although all he did now was walk past you like you were a ghost he couldn’t see.

(If only you knew how Giyuu feared you really would become one.)

“- and then we…nee-san? Are you even listening?” Yumiko pushed her head closer to yours, snapping you out of your daydream. She grinned mischievously. “Who are you thinking of?”

“Eh, no one!”

“Where’d you get that hairpin, then?”

Damn Yumiko and her observant nature. But even she couldn’t have foresaw you suddenly bursting into tears, the heartbreak and hurt you’ve been suffering silently through the past few weeks building up like pressure until it exploded and you were left a sobbing, miserable mess curled up on your sister’s lap while she stroked your hair comfortingly and waited for you to calm down and tell her who’s “head I’m going to cut off - he must be a demon to make you cry like this”.

So you told her everything, ending it with a “He doesn’t even want to be my friend anymore! Giyuu won’t even acknowledge me now.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you, nee-san, don’t think that!”

You cried anyway.

***

Giyuu had been taking on a lot of missions lately - he barely spent a day of rest in between, Shinobu had confided in Mitsuri as they both watched the stoic Water Pillar limp out of the Butterfly Mansion from afar, no doubt off to go ask Oyakata-sama for another.

Something had happened, Shinobu had concluded, citing that Giyuu had been even more sour-faced and gloomy lately - “Well, even more than he used to be. I wonder if he failed to save someone on a mission? That might be it. I would ask his friend but I haven’t seen her around.”

Mitsuri immediately lit up. “What friend?”

“He used to eat with a female slayer every day until recently; I don’t know her name or who she is though. Tomioka somehow managed to make a friend even with that wet cat personality of his, but as I haven’t seen her around much.” Shinobu chuckled to herself. “He probably drove her away with that despondent attitude.”

“Hmm…” Mitsuri considered it, then clapped her hands together excitedly. “He must like her, Shinobu! Oooh, that’s so sweet, I never thought Tomioka would ever fall in love!”

“Him? In love?” Shinobu scoffed. “If he is then I am an insect.”

“Maybe he’s just sad she had to go on a mission or something,” Mitsuri suggested. “Oh, I know! I’ll invite him out to lunch with me and Obanai. That should cheer him up, and I want to know all the tea about his love life!”

Shinobu hid her laugh and turned around to leave. “I wish you the best of luck, Mitsuri.”

“I’ll let you know how it goes!”

With that Mitsuri sprang off to go hunt for the elusive Water Pillar, determined to kidnap him to lunch if it came down to it. Obanai would surely approve of her plan, he probably wouldn’t mind someone extra tagging along if she apologized.

It turned out she didn’t quite have to kidnap him, but it would be stretching the truth to say Giyuu had given a response to her question, having just stared blankly with wide eyes. But he didn’t object when she grabbed his hand and pulled him along, so it must be alright!

(Obliviously the both of them didn’t notice the purple, shadowy waves of indignation and jealousy rolling off the Snake Pillar, but he managed to bottle it up pretty well in front of Mitsuri.)

“So, Giyuu, I heard from Shinobu you’ve been hanging out with a slayer these days! Is it true?”

“Uh…yes…” Yes, a slayer who I fell in love with and promptly rejected when she said she reciprocated, Giyuu finished in his head. Obanai glowered.

“KYAAAH! That’s so cute! What’s her name? What’s she like? How long has she been a slayer? When did you both meet? Do you like her?” Mitsuri leaned forward, practically quivering from anticipation. Next to her a certain snake brightened up not so subtly; Tomioka wasn’t going to steal Kanroji after all! …not that he believed someone like Tomioka would, nope.

Giyuu’s mind was stuck on the last question.

Do you like her?

Cliche, but he didn’t like her. He loved her. Which was why he let her go, right?

But Giyuu was tired. Tired of never being able to be happy, always mourning Sabito and Tsutako. You made him like he might one day see the world in vibrant colors once more, but he was so afraid of never seeing again he’d rather never see it all. You liked him despite his bland, hard personality. Of course he was a sucker for you, absolutely down bad, whipped, whatever it was that Tanjiro had used to describe the blond nuisance’s behavior towards Nezuko.

But on these past missions…all those couples he had seen wandering the streets together hand in hand. You both used to do that - well, almost, if hands brushing hands counted (on idle days he tried to clasp his own and imagine what your touch would feel like). He wanted to be that couple with you. He wanted to be that family he had saved not too long ago, comforting each other despite the demon attack. He wanted to be that elderly duo at the table next to them, still together even after who knew how many years.

Iguro and Kanroji had only added on to it. Giyuu knew Iguro disliked him intensely and in turn he had not much love for him but watching his actions around Kanroji made him miss you terribly - he had that same look Giyuu was pretty sure he had on his face whenever he spoke to her…if only because you had pointed it out to him once. And when Kanroji started gushing about how happy she always felt whenever she received a letter from Iguro…how long had it been since you sent that short letter informing him of your vacation to your hometown (and subsequent abandonment of him? …he did deserve it, he’d admit, but it stung anyway).

Can’t he be allowed to be happy for once? Be in love once? He wouldn’t be able to take it if you died…yet Giyuu couldn’t take it either if you weren’t here. What a conundrum…

“Tomioka?” ”What’s so great about being in love?” He blurted. He had to be sure. Obanai snorted but Mitsuri, though taken aback, eagerly replied, just not what he’d thought she’d reply with.

“That’s something you’ll have to find out yourself, I suppose! Maybe you’re afraid of pursuing it - her - for now, Tomioka, but you should be more afraid of not finding out no matter what happens. Go ahead, shoot your shot!”

“I need to go.” Giyuu stood up abruptly and ran off.

“-eh?” Mitsuri stared after him, startled, then slumped a little. “Aw, guess he didn’t want to have lunch with us.”

Obanai would rather have Kaburamaru strangle him then defend Giyuu, but if it was to cheer Mitsuri up…”I think you just spurred him to go confess to the poor sod he’s besotted with. Maybe he’ll be less sloppy on missions now.”

“You really think that? I’m happy my advice came in handy then, heh!” Mitsuri beamed at him.

“Mmm,” Obanai hummed, averting his eyes. “Do you want another bowl? I’ll pay.”

***

Giyuu had a plan. A really good one, if he could say so himself. He’d go find you and explain, apologize for how horribly he’d been treating you and pray to whatever gods left on his side that you’d find it in you to forgive him and give him a chance to love you like he didn’t before.

A plan that evaporated the moment he got back to his Estate and realized not once had you mentioned where your hometown was.

Giyuu sat on the engawa for nearly the whole evening, trying to recall if you’d ever said anything about your childhood home. He knew you had a sister and your father had died a few years ago, but that was about it. Crap. Thwarted by the crime of not knowing you as well as he had thought.

(He assuaged the nagging little voice saying how could he even hope to be your lover if he didn’t know such a simple thing by promising to get to know everything about you when he found you, right down to what you ate for breakfast.)

As a desperate last resort he sent his old crow Kanzaburo to go scout villages up north, where your letter had come from - not expecting him to return the next morning squawking himself hoarse.

“UROKONDAKI INJURED! GO TO ASAGIRI NOW! UROKONDAKI INJURED!”

Double crap. His search for you would have to wait then; Giyuu would be there in a heartbeat at his old mentor’s side if he could, but as he couldn’t he took off running at once.

Although…strange his crow went to Urokondaki instead of you.

***

Yumiko glanced back at where you lay, silent but inhaling through your teeth painfully. She and your great-uncle had done all they could to alleviate the pain in your broken ankle. The rain from a few days ago hadn’t completely dried up and left the mountain a slippery mud mountain, causing you to accidentally lose your balance and roll down. You were lucky nothing else had happened.

And the mountain wasn’t done causing trouble yet. Your mother had long gone out to go fetch a doctor but with the trails slick and blocked it would take a long, roundabout route for two elderlies. You were handling it well, but with every minute that passed Yumiko verged on a panic attack.

Then that stupid crow had shown up, screeching and cawing at the window. Yumiko narrowed her eyes and approached it, intending to chase it away with a piece of her mind for disturbing you until - oh god, it could talk.

“Tomioka looking for (y/l/n)! Tomioka looking for (y/l/n)!”

Tomioka? Wasn’t that the name of the man you had cried yourself over, the one that had broken your heart so bitterly? What right did he have to come looking for you now? Yumiko scowled. She was going to give him something to look for alright.

Then you groaned and it gave her pause. You had talked about the insane skills of a Hashira before - this good-for-nothing Tomioka would be able to arrive far faster and navigate the dangerous paths easily. Surely Hashira would have some basic first aid knowledge too? He could bring you down to the village, if nothing else. Fine.

“Yumiko! What are you doing?” Your great-uncle appeared behind her, voice laced with worry.

“This crow belongs to a Hashira, a friend of (y/n) or something - we could get him to come here and help bring nee-san to the village. Even if the doctor got here they’d never be able to bring her down!”

His face betrayed nothing, but he nodded and turned to the preening bird. “Kanzaburo, tell Giyuu to come to Mount Asagiri now. A message from Sakonji Urokondaki.”

***

Giyuu made it up the mountain in record time.

He rushed to the old house where he had spent his childhood training with Sabito, opening the doors in a hurry. Of course, if Urokondaki had gotten injured outside, he should go look-

“You!” The both of your mouths dropped open and uttered the same word in the same shock.

“I - (y/n)? What are you - what are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” You countered. Giyuu’s eyes were wide as saucers and you had no doubt yours was the same.

“My crow told me Urokondaki was injured -” Wait, but you were clearly the one injured here: pale face and horrible bruising on your foot. And his crow was old, not unknown for getting messages mixed up. But if so, that meant - “You never told me you were an Urokondaki.”

“He’s my great-uncle. You’re the one he trained?” How did your brain never make the connection before between Giyuu and the boy from your great uncle’s training back then? For that matter how did you both somehow never mention it?

“And you’re only here to get nee-san down to the village to get treated!” Yumiko darted into the room, hostile and clearly mistrustful. “She broke her ankle and we can’t get her down, so if you want to make up for making her cry over you every day you’ll do something about it!”

Your face burned at your sister’s words but Giyuu felt like somebody had stabbed a katana into his heart. Had you really? He felt like a horrible person. An actual demon. He should probably commit seppuku right now for making an angel like you weep - one thing at a time, he had to help you now.

Without a word Giyuu suddenly scooped you up in his arms, pressing you close to him and carefully adjusting his hold so that it was both tight and comfortable before making his speedy (and hopefully safe) way down the mountain. There would be a time to confess what he’d been holding back all along another time.

Yumiko watched from the doorway skeptically. “Is this really who nee-san fell for? He already broke her heart once. What’s to say he won’t do it again?”

Urokondaki stepped out from the shadows, observing the retreating form of his former student. He laid a hand on Yumiko’s shoulder. “I’m sure Giyuu won’t.”

***

“Why’d you come back?”

“…maybe we should talk when you’re not in pain.”

“Giyuu, I’ve got enough painkiller potions and herbs and things inside of me to subdue Muzan himself. Just - if you’re not going to tell me, don’t - don’t give me false hope.” You rolled onto your side, away from him, so he couldn’t see your expression.

“Do - do you want real hope then?” Giyuu said weakly.

“What?” You twisted your head around slightly.

“I -” Giyuu half smiled, half winced awkwardly. “I think I fell for you from the start. I just didn’t know it until later. I don’t have a lot of friends and I thought after that lunch we had together you’d be driven off too, but you kept coming back. Again and again. You just - invaded my brain and I couldn’t do a thing without you on my mind.”

At least you turned around fully now, even sitting up. “Go on.”

“But…you know what happened to Sabito, my sister. I was so afraid - so afraid the one bright thing in my life would get taken away because…I know I don’t deserve you. Or even worthy of you. I was even more afraid that you’d die because I wasn’t there, or I wasn’t strong enough.”

“Giyuu-”

“Then you told me you liked me and - maybe we both could’ve been happy, but I couldn’t…I couldn’t bear it if you died. You were too close. I’m not supposed to be happy. I’m so, so sorry I pushed you away like that so cruelly, but I didn’t know how else.”

“What made you change your mind, then?” Giyuu had never spoken so much before. Your fingers crept closer and laid on his.

“…I’m not sure, honestly. Kanroji, probably. I just saw everyone and I wanted…I wanted to hold your hand and go walking. I want to get married with you and…whatever married people do. And then if we don’t get killed by demons I want to grow old with you - no, no! Wait, don’t cry!”

Giyuu leaned forward, hastily wiping roughly at your cheeks. You hiccupped but giggled. “Don’t worry, I’m just - you always surprise me and I think I’m so happy I could actually explode.”

“Please don’t.”

“That’s not the end of your big speech is it?” Your hand closed around the one cupping your face.

“No,” Giyuu admitted. “One more.”

“And…?”

“Cliche, but I think I love you.”

“Let me make it more cliche.”

You grabbed his face and kissed him.

***

BONUS:

“And your dad and I lived happily ever after!”

“Waaaah! That’s so rom - rom -ah -tic!” Your younger daughter, Sumire clapped her hands and giggled, snuggling closer into Giyuu. “I wanna be like that when I grow up!”

“Ew. You kissed after saying that?” Koji rolled his eyes, throwing the pillow he had been hugging down. You snorted and yanked at his black hair playfully.

“Why, don’t like that?”

“Maybe he thinks girls still have cooties,” Giyuu offered, poking Sumire’s chubby cheeks.

“Do not! I just meant - argh! Dad, why didn’t you kiss Mom? That’s not manly at all!”

You broke into a peal of laughter at both Koji’s words and Giyuu’s face. Sumire joined you but stopped when she noticed her dad hiding his pink face. “Who taught you what was manly?”

“Uncle Nemi!”

Giyuu looked at you beseechingly. “I told you we shouldn’t have visited Shinazugawa.”

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Could I get an interaction between Riddle and Gidel please?

I imagine that maybe Gidel sneaks off while Fellow is busy schmoozing the other students during a croquet match or something and finds the kitchens and proceeds to just devour the beautiful strawberry tart in the fridge with his hands. But then, poor Gidel gets caught red-handed (lol) and with stuffed cheeks by none other than Riddle himself? Thank you!

Riddle and Fellow duke it out in a passive aggressive croquet game :DD

So tell me, do you wanna go?

Gidel had never been to a party before. When Fellow told him that they’d been invited to one, his little heart vibrated with excitement. He had heard many stories about the dancing, the music, the chatter, the games, the food—and longed to live those tales.

“You don’t have to do anything, Giddie. Leave the schmoozin’ to me and just enjoy yourself,” Fellow had told him.

And so here they were now, in a lavish rose garden.

Gidel was seated toward the front--a guest of honor, according to the dorm leader--but he was too short to properly reach the table, so the students had stacked a few books to boost him higher. He kicked his feet back and forth, taking in the liveliness around him.

Gidel was used to crowds (they were where he and Fellow often found their victims), but there was a fresh energy to this one. The conversation was giddy and effervescent, like the sugary drinks that came in metal cans and tickled his nose when it went down.

Above his head were strings of little flags and lanterns, and the tablecloths were so clean and free of holes. Few of the chairs and silverware matched, like the patterns in his clothes and the few items he owned. Such a thing, he had learned, was a source of shame and ridicule. "People don't like things that stick out. They look at 'cha dirty if you are," Fellow would grumble. Yet no one here seemed to be bothered by it. They lounged casually in those chairs that didn't match and drank tea from cups that had completely different designs.

More food than Gidel had ever seen in his life appeared as if by magic. It was served on tiered stands and in fancy pots. Finger sandwiches, elaborate cookies, cupcakes, clotted cream, jams, scones, and tea in various shades. An older boy in a hat and glasses had even ferried in a massive upside down cake, wider at the top and tapering into a narrow bottom. It defied all laws of gravity and had live sparklers stuck into the top. The server caught the curious glint in Gidel's eyes and offered a crooked grin.

Not the look of someone seeking revenge for almost being turned into a puppet. but the look of a mischievous older brother.

"Haha, excited to dig in? I'll cut you an extra big slice then," Trey whispered, "but remember to brush your teeth well afterwards. We'll get started after they finish up the croquet game."

Gidel followed his gaze to the open lawn.

Several students had gathered there, each grasping a live flamingo. Fellow casually leaned on his, talking in an animated manner with a short redhead in a crown. Riddle was angling his mallet on a curled up hedgehog--the ball--to force it through a series of grounded hoops.

He swung. His ball rocketed, clearing five hoops. The other player's jaws dropped. Fellow’s, most of all.

Riddle smirked. "Naturally."

“What the heck, how are you that good?!” Fellow demanded. He looked again, just to make sure that he was seeing things correctly.

Yup, that ball had still cleared 5 hoops.

“These are the results of much studying and practice. I do not lose.” His cold stare cut right to two boys—one with a diamond painted on his face, and the other, a heart. “Unlike some people, I do not sneak off of campus on school nights to seek thrills at an amusement park.”

Ace coughed into a fist and refused to meet his dorm leader’s eyes.

“Ehhhh~ No way, Riddle-kun! Who would do that? Sooo irresponsible of them!”

“D-Diamond-senpai, upperclassmen shouldn’t blatantly dodge responsibility like this…” Deuce muttered.

Riddle rapped his mallet against an open palm like a gavel tapping patiently before a sentencing. "In any case, Fellow-san… Would you care to go next as one of our esteemed guests? And to be clear, I will be keeping a close eye on you. There will be no foul play on my watch.”

Fellow gulped, but kept his cool. "Sure thing. Let’s have an honest and fair game, gentlemen!”

"Go easy on the poor guy, Riddle," Trey called to him. He left the table and wandered onto the field, clapping his friend on the back.

“I don’t see why I should,” Riddle retorted. He sounded vaguely irritated, but there was the trace of a held back laugh in his words.

Gidel smiled to himself. It was nice, the two’s camaraderie.

The sky was clear, the sun was shining, and the birds were singing. The roses were in full bloom.

It was a lovely day.

Gidel practically melted in his seat. He could stay at this party forever.

Bright blue fluttered in his vision. A tickling sensation filled his nose, and he rubbed at it to dispel the feeling. Had a piece of the sky fallen onto him?

Flap, flap.

A butterfly lazily floated off of Gidel.

The boy sat up straighter.

It was mesmerizing, that butterfly. With the sunlight streaming through it's papery cerulean wings, it almost resembled stained glass.

Pretty...

Gidel extended his arms out toward it, attempting to cup the bug in his palms. It evaded, dipping in the air and heading toward the Heartslabyul dorm.

He hopped out of his seat and trailed after the butterfly, waving his arms in an attempt to coax it back. But no--it vanished inside, and Gidel, like a foolish child being lured to a candy house in the woods, followed.

Gidel didn't pay any mind to where the butterfly led him. He only knew that he wanted to catch it, and so he would tread wherever it went.

Soon enough, he had wandered into the kitchen, fumbling around for the butterfly in the dark. For a heartbeat, the creature landed on a handle and rested there. Gidel pounced--but missed, and the butterfly, startled, hurriedly flew away.

He tried to go after it, but his sleeves, ensnared in the handle, caught and tugged something open. Cold light spilled out from the inside of a box, and Gidel knew this was called a refrigerator.

He peered in, wondering if the older brother from before had stored more goodies inside. Indeed, there were more sweet treats stashed away. Tall trifles, wobbling jellies, and...

Gidel's eyes fixated on a beautiful strawberry tart. Its crust, golden and ruffled like intricate lace. The custard filling, thick and creamy. Glistening red fruit had been sliced thin and meticulously laid out, the strawberries shaping into a blossoming rose.

His mouth watered.

He reached for the tart.

Before Gidel realized what he was doing, he had plunged his fingers into the innards. Scooping out custard and strawberries by the handful, he deposited them in his mouth, chewed, swallowed, then went back for more.

So sweet, so delicious. He wanted more and more.

He broke off a chunk of the shell and bit into it. It was tough and crumbly. Gidel decided that he liked it better after dunking it in custard and eating it with a slice of strawberry.

Right as he had assembled a piece, a person appeared from the hallway. They stood in the doorway to the kitchen, their figure shadowed. Gidel squinted.

Whoever it was, they were short and wore a crown on their head.

The kitchen lights flickered on.

Riddle Rosehearts came into view. He wore a stern expression as he approached, steps brisk and sharp. "So this is where you ran off to. You had your guardian so worried he dropped his flamingo to look for--"

He skidded to a stop, staring at the mess of juices and crumbs at the feet of the fridge. Gidel crouched nearby, hands and clothes sticky and red or covered in traces of his crime.

Rage hit him like truck--speedy and sudden. Rules, broken? Decorum, ignored? His entire face turned crimson, steam threatening to pour from his ears.

Riddle's voice came, low and menacing. "You ate the strawberry tart meant for the unbirthday party and you made this mess?"

He advanced on the boy, raising his scepter.

Gidel blanched. Trembling terribly, he shrank into his oversized clothes like a turtle retreating into its shell. Warm wetness prickled his eyes. He whimpered without a single sound.

Riddle's scepter froze, as did his resolve. The fire that was his anger came in and out like the flame of a candle exposed to wind.

A sad little child. Scolded for having eaten a forbidden tart. Apologizing, sobbing, begging to not be punished.

Now who does that remind you of?

A dull pain radiated from the recesses of his heart. The plant called Pity had germinated, its roots opening a home for itself in his chest.

You aren't in the right here.

Riddle sucked in a breath through his teeth.

Like his therapist had advised him to do, he started at 10 and slowly counted down from it. Slowly, slowly, his fury subsided, like air being released from a balloon. Anger management magic.

When he spoke again, he was softer, gentler.

“… You are forgiven."

He wasn't used to it.

Riddle awkwardly offered a hand. “Come. Let’s get you cleaned up in the washroom. We can’t have you returning to the unbirthday party in this state.”

Gidel stared inquisitively at it. At him. The stranger with the temper, the stranger now asking for his trust.

But he had tried, hadn’t he? Tried, and succeeded in controlling his anger.

A moment’s hesitation, and Gidel slipped his strawberry-stained sleeve into Riddle’s palm. He nodded to the dorm leader.

Let’s go.

To where everyone is waiting for us.

[kindestofkings]

nepobaby² [pt.2]

elijah hewson x pop singer! reader

description: people hate to see a hot girl killing it, so much so that tmz starts rumours that spread like wildfire.

authors note: heyy this is a random part two to this ! so go enjoy and tell me what you think :))

tmz

liked by inhalerfan1 and others

tmz 🚨 Scandal Alert 🚨 TMZ exclusive: Shocking photos reveal yourusername caught in a steamy affair with a Saltburn's heartthrob Barry Keoghan, despite being in a relationship of over 3 years! 😱💔

Stay tuned as we uncover all the juicy details behind this explosive cheating scandal.

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inhalerfan1 omg what a slut! always knew she was no good for Eli

inhalerfan2 she's so fame hungry going after the most popular irish celeb, watch out paul mescal

ynfan1 nooooo girl nooooo

ynfanupdates

liked by ynfan1 and others

ynfanupdates ehhhh guys did you see all this?? yn and eli were spotted together like a week ago what the hell is going on??

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ynfan1 I refuse to believe this is true, she's not like that

inhalerfan2 oh and you know her so well do you? ynfan1 maybe not but I do know tmz have lied in the past! they have no journalistic integrity

ynfan2 she must of really REALLY enjoyed saltburn

inhalerfan1 I will never listen to her again disgusting behaviour

deuxmoi

liked by inhalerfan1 and others

deuxmoi just hours after the news broke that his girlfriend of 3 years is cheating on him, elijah hewson is the picture of heartbroken at his show and their interviews :(

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inhalerfan1 omg baby, #ynisoverparty

inhalerfan2 this is crazy, how could she do this to him while they're touring !

ynfan1 we don't even know if the rumours are true!! inhalerfan1 evidence is pretty stacked against your girl

inhalerfan3 can't wait for the single Eli era !!

yourusername just posted on their close friends!

this is hell there was 6 other people at that dinner and we got in separate cars home

replies:

bobbyskeetz yeah didn't think you fucked with barry like that

↳ ...... bobbyskeetz too soon? yeah just a bit man

taylorswift they are ruthless! please call me gorgeous, you're not alone in this xx

trumanblack are you in LA right now?

↳ I am yeah why does that matter rn matthew trumanblack just wanted to make sure I booked the flight to the right place. ↳ matttttt I'm gonna cry (even more)

ynfanupdates

liked by ynfan1 and others

ynfanupdates THIS IS NOT THE FACE OF A CHEATER. Also look how in love those two are !!! I dont not believe tmz on bit. ALSO people are being so mean to her. LEAVE HER ALONE!!!

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ynfan1 couldn’t said it better myself

ynfan2 people hate to see a hot girl slay.

tmz

liked by 1975fan1 and others

tmz big brother to the rescue ? looks like the Healy siblings are sticking together through thick and thin. our cameras caught the eldest Healy sibling rushing to the states to support his little sister amidst her massive cheating scandal! 👀

looks like getting cancelled runs in the family huh...

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1975fan1 oh he looks pissed

ynfan1 omg the poor girl she looks in bits 💔

inhalerfan1 consequences of her actions ynfan2 WE DONT EVEN KNOW IF ITS TRUE NONE OF THEM HAVE COME OUT AND SAID ANYTHING inhalerfan1 you are clearly unhinged babe xxx

inhalerfan1 great job playing the victim girl, what about eli x

elijahhewson

liked by yourusername and others

elijahhewson stop making shit up to sell you papers. this is the love of my life who was at a group dinner, leave her be.

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bobbyskeetz ready to go to war for my favourite couple

ryanmcmahon_15 me too !

inhalerfan1 holy shit eli's is off private oh my GOD

inhalerfan2 it’s happening! everyone stay calm

trumanblack fair play mate

denisewelch its all so silly, clearly haven't seen how in love you two are !!

taylorswift glad to see her smiling again <3

ynfan1 I KNEW IT my parents could never .

ynfanupdates hope she's okay people were so mean to her..

yourusername

liked by elijahhewson and others

yourusername please learn to be nicer while I disappear x

comments have been turned off.

ynfanupdates

liked by ynfan1 and others

ynfanupdates it’s officially been a year and a half since we’ve heard anything from or even seen yourusername 🥲 I really respect her taking some time after that crazy barry situation but this is HARD

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ynfan1 noo I’m the same, I do be missing her bops

ynfan2 fr feels like we’ve been put in the worlds longest time out

ynfanupdates especially with that last insta post 😔

yourusername posted to their close friends!

replies:

charli_xcx yessss queen the world is not readyyyy

↳ AHHH thank you C <33

rass75 AOTY pending?

↳ heheh idk ! genre change pending tho …

taylorswift cannot wait to hear what you're working on !

↳ and what if you hopped on a track?

yourusername

liked by elijahhewson and others

yourusername is there anyone out there?

come spend some time with me within the echoes of solitude, there might be some familiar faces x

// this is me trying  / the lakes / mad woman / my tears ricochet / mirrorball / slut! (feat. Taylor Swift) / let the light in (feat. Elijah Hewson) / both sides now (feat. Joni Mitchell) / coney island (feat. Matty Healy) //

out in TWO weeks !

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jackantonoff lets fuckin GO

trumanblack so moody, almost emo?

yourusername coming for your gig big bro x

gabriette woooo they are not ready !

charlixcx AHHHH so buzzed (for all the sadness)

ynfan2 ah a sad album?? yourusername im sorry to confirm its not very pop 💔 ynfan2 so heartbroken ! but can't wait to hear it all, welcome back <3

elijahhewson so proud of you beautiful

ynfan1 OMG SHE'S BACK

ynfan2 oh no she looks so sad :(( slut! is gonna break me

ynfanupdates okay queen is back to dominate a new genre !

vogue

liked by yourusername and others

vogue our next edition unveils an exclusive interview with our beloved pop sensation! emerging from a year of solitude, she opens up about her toughest career moment yet and her newfound carefree spirit, crediting the unwavering support of friends, family, and the love of her life! don't miss out on the latest scoop - grab your copy and dive into her inspiring journey!

view all other comments

yourusername ahhhhh thanks for having me !!!

ynfan1 oh she slayss

ynfan2 bless her, the part where she talks about how nervous she is about not releasing a new pop album broke my heart

ynfan1 fr she doesn't get how much we love her ! yourusername AWH you guys !!!!

inhalerfan1 the love of her life .... her and eli are the cutest

yourusername

liked by trumanblack and others

yourusername HI again ! soooo I felt a tinnie bit bad that I'm abandoning my roots, espically so close to summer sooo....

espresso a certified bop* is out now xxxx

*certification is from my boyfriend so possible bias there ..

view all other comments

ynfan1 holy shit I LOVE YOU

ynfan2 eli is so in love im OBSESSED

charlixcx so hot omfg

bobbyskeetz man is whipped

yourusername isnt it that sweet?! bobbyskeetz i guess so 🙄 elijahhewson espresso

finished

hehehe this is so dramatic and for WHAt?! but I love and had so much fun making it. ENJOY <33

ALSO requests are open aswell so it me up xx

[avionvadion]

Honestly, I totally agree with you about the Skully thing. On top of the card thing you mentioned before, how would that even work? Halloween is an ANCIENT PAGAN holiday. Wouldn't he have to be from the Age of the Gods for him to do that? Even the first Halloween event acknowledged that, so this completely contradicts what was set up before. Him being a kid from their version of Victorian times, who was just trapped in the book and gets out after the events, like you are planning makes a lot more sense.

RIGHT!????? It just doesn’t make sense.

Like I think they’re trying to say he started the “act” of celebrating Halloween all over the world, rather than just carving turnips/pumpkins to ward off ghosts, since Crowley does mention Halloween used to be a very minor event, but… ehhhh, I dunno.

So I might make it like he (Halloween King, Skully’s Dad in my version) started encouraging NRC students to dress up after experiencing the book (having escaped successfully unlike his son who remained trapped for centuries) and decorating their dorms to emulate the experience he had with Jack Skellington. I’ll have to reread everything that talks about Halloween to be sure, but that’s my thought process at the moment.

[princess-peregrine]

10 Most Read Authors

Thanks for tagging me @godzilla-reads

"what are your ten most most read authors? and how many books have you read by them? also tag someone who you would like to do this!

instructions: scroll to the bottom of your goodreads shelves and most read authors is listed underneath."

I don't use goodreads but here's what ibknow from my personal collection

1. Seanan McGuire (21 books) Seanan McGuire is an amazing writer and one of the hardest things to do is put down one of her books once you start, it's always a captivating adventure to read one of her books

2. Kay Hooper (16 books) I'm not done with her Bishop/Special Crimes Unit books but oh my gosh, she writes good. If i had to give a short and sweet summary of what she writes, it would come off as a trashy genre. But she writes possibly my favorite romances I have ever read. Once a Thief and Always a Thief are my favorite romace books of all time, and the reason I read them was because of a ML fanfic called Once a thief Always a Thief by, I believe, Saijispellhart, I think that's right, if you read that fic and liked it then you will love Kay Hooper

3. CJ Cherryh (12) this is possibly my favorite writer of science fiction full stop and i can't even get into it here because i would talk for ages, the message here is to read CJ Cherryh's books, for the love of Goddess read them

4. Jimmy Gownley (8 books) Amelia Rules is my favorite comic of all time with a close secomd being the planet Sakaar arc in the hulk comics

5. Diana Rowland (7 books) people just love her white trash zombie books, and foe good reason, but personally i loved her Mark/Blood of the Demon books a whole lot more

6. Victoria Laurie (7 books) i loved the first book in her ghost hunter mystery books, then 2 and 3 were a slog, and then the rest were good again, not sure what happened to the second and third book

7. Marrion Zimmer Bradley (7 books) ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew what the fuck is up with her ew ew ew ew ew ew this is what passed for feminist writing back then?! I've read incel rants with more respect for women than some of the stuff she writes!

Anyway she's an ok science fiction writer with a way of writing really engaging stories with a strong narrative voice, don't read her books, they really are not kind to women

8. Michelle Tea (5 books) go read mermaid in chelsea creek, go do it, right now, this is a demand, read mermaid in chelsea creek, cry about it and then come back to me and tell me what you thought about it, do it now

My favorite book from her is Valencia btw, an excellent memoir

9. Kim Harrison (4 books) don't ask me anything about her books, i could not tell you, i know what happened because i read them but the memories are jumbled up with details from the October Day novels

10. Stephen king (4 books) Stephen King is, ehhhh, i read him more for the status that he was a prolific writer and had a lot of popular books, the first one i read, which is still my favorite by the way, is The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon

Honorable mentions that i just recommend you go read because i love their books

Eileen Myles shouldn't need and introduction and if she does then you are living a worse life for it

Rob Reger who wrote the Emily The Strange books

Clive Barker who i have read quite a bit but excluded him for the same of smaller names (but you included stephen king) shut up

Wendy Holden, she didn't write many books but the ones she wrote were good

Dana Fredsti, her plague books are like brownies

Jeanien Frost, imagine if Kim Harrison was more memorable

Now i'll tag @scham-wcan @vivaciousarcanist @zerm2v0hg @far-side-skies @grimm-the-6th @overlordneon @transgressivepistoleer @mx-kit

[carbonh1ck4]

Divergent is the worst book I have ever read, and I couldn't get past the second book

The factions are dumb as shit and I haven't a clue how those were made. "Ok, you're 16 now, time to leave your family and choose between smart, brave, self-hate, honesty, or happy and kind farmer!"

Like, what? Oh, looking in a mirror, wearing bright clothes, doing things you enjoy, having birthdays, all prohibited because it could make you actually like being alive? Crazy shit, how does that even get incorporated into a government? Bullshit, selfless faction is definitely the dumbest.

Honesty makes sense to an extent, I guess? Not really the strongest personality trait, like, what? Ok I guess? You don't lie, good job, good work.

Happy and kind farmer, you get to just be happy! And kind! And you get to farm! This is all fine and dandy, farming is important! But, does being kind have anything to do with this? To an extent maybe?

Brave. Just, jump off trains with blind faith that no one is lying to you about the net. Go to war. What do they even fight? Like, why is the city so cut off from the world? What is with the rest of the world? Maybe they answer that in later books, but ehhhh. We're coming back to this one.

Smart. Yeah, advancing technology is important, but it's so... Broad? Like, smart, learning, knowledge. Do they have it split up more? Tris' brother went here, what was he learning? Idk, also seems sorta reductive, is this just like choosing to go to college in a way? I guess.

Back to the Dauntless faction, it's so weird? Let me backtrack.

Tris chooses to go to the edgy ballsy faction at 16,has no family, friends, or self respect (she comes from the self hate faction), and also not really a personality (for easy marketing and projection!) She meets a guy only two years older than her, but he also is highly regarded in the new society she lives in for being having four fears, and being called Four. He's her teacher and really buddy buddy with the faction leader. No, definitely no power imbalance.

Also, I didn't like reading about her anxiety and fear about being intimate with him. It just, didn't sit right? Especially since I read this in 6th grade and with the definitely their power imbalance, even if it wasn't used against her directly, still there. Gross.

AND it was one of her six fears, which a bunch of grown adults were giggling about. Wow, 16 year old scared of intimacy. Haha, funny Tee hee. Gross-er. Somehow, even more icky.

Also, dauntless is just so.... What are they protecting the people from? Do they state that out later? And, if they're protecting the people, shouldn't they be outside the city with the farmers? Wouldn't they intermingle more? The farmers would be in the most danger and are pretty god damn important, and would probably make the dauntless seem less... Child torture-y? "This teenager is disobedient! Start throwing the knives!" This also makes no sense. Like, yeah, ok, throwing weapons at the children will make them stop flinching away from weapons being thrown at them because they want the weapons to stop being thrown at them. Wtf.

I liked the farmers. They made sense and weren't gross at all. Just, yeah, kindness and farming! Yippee!

Also, they just ship 16 year olds off to different factions to potentially never see their family or anyone they know again? Like, why? Doesn't make sense.

I don't understand how a government like this could even be formed. It blatantly would never work long term, and I sorta wanna know more about the world outside of the city and about how this society and government formed, because it makes zero sense. It doesn't seem like there's some sorta threat or societal collapse that led to them completely reshaping society?

Anyway, piss poor book series, piss poor romance, piss poor world building. 0/10, hate that shit, gross

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

We are so fucking back, baby! Since my birthday weekend is coming up, I decided I’d put up a poll so we can see what absolute mess of a movie I’ll have to sit through! And since it is my birthday, I’ve decided it should be a movie based off of one of my favorite authors: Stephen King.

1. Stephen King directed his own story while high off his ass on coke. It’s about killer trucks and has a soundtrack comprised of AC/DC songs.

2. The contentious compressed adaptation of King’s most ambitious series, starring world’s sexiest man Idris Elba.

3. A movie about incestuous vampire werecats which features a slew of cameos from people like Ron Perlman, Clive Barker, and child murderer John Landis.

4. Imagine if Alien was delirious and the chestbursters went up your ass and were also called “Shit Weasels,” also everyone is psychic and Morgan Freeman is there. That’s this movie.

5. It’s a movie about a killer laundry press. This might be the greatest concept of all time.

6. Cheap-looking killer bat movie at a textile mill. I think I started watching this one once and got really bored.

7. You know what everyone loves? Remakes of beloved classics! How does the second theatrical adaptation of the book that put King on the map fare? Considering this is probably your first time hearing about it in years, not well!

8. You know what’s generally a better idea? Remaking movies that aren’t bonafide classics! The original was good but had room for improvement, so did this film deliver? Ehhhh…

9. This movie has so little to do with King’s story he demanded his name be taken off it so they couldn’t bank on the King brand.

10. King has had vampire stories adapted to great effect, but werewolves? Decidedly less so. Roger Ebert went as far as to say he thought this was a parody of the original novella… but he still liked it, so there’s hope.

[ursafootprints]

6, 18, 19, 29 for the ask game ✨

6. the word that appears the most in your current draft

It's a three-way tie between "fix," "scent," and "all!" (I wondered if it might be "scent," lmao-- there's omegaverse for you!)

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

HMM I checked my earlier version histories for double-blind to find something because I knew I had made big changes there! The original scene where Tony cleans Peter up (and takes the opportunity to get him off again) in chapter 2 was longer/more detailed and had Tony being a little more invasive with his cleaning-up, but I ultimately decided that the scene was dragging on too long for something that wasn't the main focus of the chapter and trimmed it down to its posted version. So, a few sentences from the original, expanded version:

Tony had been doing his best to ignore it and focus on Peter's needs, but Peter wasn't the only one getting worked up from all the soft petting and kisses and bared skin, and he had to fight to keep his breath steady at the intimacy of Peter allowing him this. And he was. Peter had started to cry weakly again, overcome with sensation and his conflicting wants, but one of his hands was still fisted in Tony's shirt to hold him near even as he covered his face with the other, and he turned his face towards Tony's sweet kisses and sweeter words.

19. the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

Uhhh hmm! I researched the biochemical mechanics of sex/orgasms for Naturally, I double-checked my intuition for how long I thought it would take Tony to recover from his injuries in YNYD… I do a lot of research for stuff I'm not planning to actually use just out of curiosity, too, like I looked into how far in advance you have to book the top names in the biz for a highly-customized cake like Peter gets for his birthday in YNYD, even though I knew that I was going to use that detail regardless of the answer due to "Tony Stark can get whatever he wants on whatever timeline he wants," etc.

29. how easy is it for you to come up with titles?

It is Not. 😭 I usually forget entirely about needing a title until it's time to post and then end up scrambling frantically to find a word/phrase/lyric that seems like it at least vaguely connects to the themes or plot of the story, lmao. Titles are my least favorite part of posting-- I actually love writing summaries, and then I'm ehhhh about tags, but titles are the worstttt.

(I do love Pyrite and double-blind as titles, though, those are ones where I felt really satisfied once I landed on something in my frantic scrambling!)

Thank you for playing!! 💖💖💖

[slashingdisneypasta]

Harper Alexander x Fem!AFAB!Reader || Smutshot

Note: Y'all can thank @darlingpassion for this! It was inspired by her recent 18+ Harper Headcanons (Oh my lord, go check them out. I read them in the middle of class and- I- 😅 lets just say we're lucky I'm still unwell otherwise the colour my face turned woulda been sus XD )

Plot: You (A would-have-been victim if you hadn't have been so cunning and wormed your way into Harper's good books) teach Harper what a lady in this day and age expects from her lover 👍👍👍

Warnings: Cunnilingus and begging, and slight hate fucking?. Plus both parties are dominant so there's a sort of ongoing dispute involved. Not super hot at the start but trust me- it heats up XD

"You want me... to put my mouth... down there?" Harper never looked so confounded when he finally understood what you were getting at- that sweet accent of his growing thicker and his judgemental eyes flickering from the dead-serious look on your face- to your parted legs.

"I promise this'll be a hit with the gals that come into town for the jubilee... " You insist, smirking at his reaction and crossing one of your legs over the other thigh once again, now that he got the picture. Then you hold two fingers by your head, like a scouts oath. "I guarantee it."

Rolling his eyes, Harper takes a seat on the edge of the bed next to you, before leaning forward in order to look at you. "You know, when you said y'could teach me a couple'a things... I was thinkin' a long the lines of interestin' role-plays... and knots."

"Yeah we'll get there," You brush him off. "But this is essential, my guy! If you cant do this, you're really only worth the length of your little mr- and I've seen him. Now, I don't wanna emasculate you, Harp, but... ehhhh, he's average."

Harper's jaw drops. "Avera- "

"Which is why this is such a good idea, that I have had! You can thank me later- now go get on your knees."

He just squints at you, not moving an inch except to squeeze the edge of the mattress on either side of his hips; frustrated by you.

Lord, this guy is always frustrated with you. All you want to do is help- and maybe survive, also- and all he has for you is arguments and a stink face. Huffing, you set your hands on your hips and twist your upper body to fully face him. Lets see how his ego fairs with this manoeuvre. "Should I ask Buckman, then?"

... His eyes narrow. "... Why?"

"He's, like, your pimp right?" Harper mouths the word 'pimp', like he doesn't recognise it - adorable country boy that he is, - and you huff. Okay, lets try that again. "He looks like the kinda man that gets it- maybe he can talk to you about the importance of a ladies pleasure, instead of me? Is that what you want Harp? Is it?- "

Harper cant take any amount of teasing from you, it annoys and frustrates him, and before you can even finish what you were saying he's got one of his hands curled around the back of your head and his mouths crashes into yours.

He's not really the most skilled kisser, he kisses like an old man who believes its just a stepping stone to get a woman to suck his dick, but fine, damn, it does the trick!~ And besides- you can work on it with him later.

After a moment you lean away from him, too far for him to follow you, and flick your eyes from his- down to the ground in front of you.

Hm?

For a moment he sits there, his perfect workman's hand still a comforting - almost affectionate, - weight on the back of your neck as he thinks, grumpily to himself. Then he sets his jaw and goes to kneel down in front of you. "Fine- teach me howta do it already."

"... You know, that sour face is not doing you any favours. Some men like this kinda thing- " He cuts you off, picking lazily at the waistband of your pants while you stop and just blink down at him. You watch him take out a blade from his back pocket (And first of all, WHY does he have that back there?? God, this man- infuriating and hot at the same damn time), and consequently let out a yelp.

"Hurry up, or I'm gonna slice these things off myself."

"... Rude."

That makes him smirk; An unfairly devastating smirk for such an asshole-... but pleasant. So pleasant. When he does that, the rest of your life stuck here doesn't look quite so grim.

Even though he's a dick-

~

"Am I doin' this right??"

Giving a sigh, with your back on the bed and your legs spread wide for Harper, you roll your eyes. "If you're talking, no... "

"... You're sure wet enough... " He mutters back under his breath, and you promptly get up onto your forearms to spit some facts at him.

Ohhhhh this guy. That smug look on his face as his eyes move slowly from your core to your face. Infuriating!! You're gonna kick him. In the face- "Hey- you. Barn-Boy. For your information, that is because I've been picturing Granny Boone this entre time- now stop staring at it and do something." You exclaim, before plopping back down on the bed, blowing hair out of your eyes. His eyes only seemed to light up with me yelling at him, you think, rolling your eyes. And he says the kinky thing is all an act...

Pfft. I see your soul, Harper Alexander.

While you're lost in thought over Harper, he seems to decide on taking another crack at this- and leans his head in towards your pussy. You don't feel any breath, because he's dead and he doesn't breath, but you definitely feel a presence. A tingle. You just know something's about to happen, and its maddening- you wanna arch your hips, slip the heels of your feet into his shoulder blades and push him forward, or buck up- anything to just feel his lips on you- but you curl your fingers subtly into the bedsheets, instead. No need for him to know the effect he has on you. That wouldn't do.

When his lips do touch you, its not without skill. He has been kissing for a long long time, so he isn't unfamiliar with using his lips, but there's just something missing. Its nice, but... not amazing. As he presses his face into you, slowly taking his tongue all over you, you think back to moments in the past when men have touched you like this. When its been so good your toes curled and you couldn't help but grind your cunt against his tongue.

... What was the difference?...

Biting your bottom lip, you rack your brain over this for a few more moments as Harper continues to explore; Even using his thumbs to rub up and down the outside of your lips, leaving lovely tingles in their wake. Still, you wonder... what's missing...

Maybe... he's not... really into it?? If not, you really shouldn't make him-

Wait.

Suddenly your whole body goes stiff, remembering. You hope he doesn't notice, which he mustn't because he doesn't stop his ministrations at all, because you have had an epiphany. Even the first time you two were together, he was like this. Without a spark. But he warmed up and it got really- really, good.

Because you started begging him.

Getting up on your elbows again to see him, you glare... even though the sight of this beautiful man with his face in your pussy does send butterflies all the way up through you. Because, god... This narcissist. Of course. Of course- he gets off to you begging him. You're not surprised, but you are irritated.

... well. Its worth a shot anyway.

Shifting, you slide your legs slowly up over his shoulders, caging the beautiful man between your thighs and allowing him a better angle, and transform your face- closing your eyes, parting your lips, and tipping your head back. When he leans in some more and licks a particularly broad stripe through your lips, gliding his tongue fully over your clit, you let out your moan. One of your heels digs into his back, and you push your core out a little bit closer to him, biting your lip and bunching up some more of the bedding into your fists. "Damn... " You whisper, putting on a performance- even though your pleasure is real.

Harper stops. He disconnects from you, and leans back on his heels, and when you crack your eyes open ever-so-delicately, you see him raising a brow at you. "What in the world was that??"

"That was encouragement, Harper."

"Y'think I need it?" He asks, though one corner of his mouth quirks up.

You just give a wink, before laying down again on your back. There's a secret smirk on your lips as you look at the ceiling. "Please... just do that again."

The pleased lilt to his voice is clear, and you're expecting to just put it on for the rest of this, for his benefit. "... hm. Well, your wish is my command I s'pose. Get comfortable, Miss Y/N."

... But when he comes back in, you're immediately shocked at the sudden change in him- you actually let out a sudden yelp of pleasure, feeling his thumbs spread your lips wide open for him now and his tongue dart deeper inside your core then you thought he could. You very nearly slap a hand over your mouth because of the very unintentional gasp- and then- "Oh god!- "

Your hips jolt forward, too, into his soft lips and immediately feel him chuckle against you. It make sit even worse, the vibrations directly against your clit. "Fuck!- fuck, fuck, fuck- "

Harper presses his mouth hard against the outside of your cunt and devours you, shoving his tongue into you as deeply as he can get and thoroughly tongue-fucking your most sensitive parts- making you whine, and yelp, and buck into him like a desperate, needy bitch.

The sounds he's making, too, are hot. Groaning into your pussy like he's eating something fucking delicious, your taste on his tongue exactly what he was looking for as he rubs his mouth more securely into the crevice between your thighs.

When you're so close to a very sudden, very violent orgasm- Harper takes the moment away. Starts giving you slow, language strokes that are just not deep enough- the bastard even takes one of his hands away from you in order to hold your calf on his shoulder. Tight.

Stopping you from pushing him in again.

He chuckles once again against your poor, throbbing and now tragically empty cunt, and gently rubs his nose against your mound. It would be sweet, affectionate; if you didn't hate his guts for it.

Giving a whine crossed with a desperate, frustrated sob, you throw an arm over your eyes so as to hide from the shame of outright begging this asshole. "Harperrr, plee-eesseeeee... "

"Don't you worry, Miss. Heh, I aint done."

"... Wh- Ah!" When he suddenly slips a long finger into and starts torturously rubbing at your inner walls with it you really do slap a hand over your mouth- afraid of the noises coming out of you, now. Another finger goes in, covering more area as he ruthlessly attacks your deepest, most private, most sensitive spots.

Your hips aren't just arching anymore, they're following his rhythm; Grinding into his evil fingers now, rolling so they move inside you just the way you need. "Y'like that, Miss Y/N?"

"More Harper, please Harper- "

"I gotcha."

Then he leans his head in between your thighs again, and he struggles, but he manages to lick you while his sopping wet fingers thrust in and out of you fast.

With your most embarrassing sound yet and one more roll against his face, you cum right into his damn face.

~

While you sit up with your hand on your chest and a pillow between your legs, just trying to calm down from that ridiculously amazing high, Harper gets up and sits down next to you; A hand on your knee and a smirk on his face. When he speaks, you give him a bemused look, while you continue to feel your racing heart inside your chest still. "So... how'd I do, then? Did I master the importance of a ladies pleasure, then? Or do we needa' do that again?"

For a moment you consider telling him to shut up, but the horny outweighs the need to wipe that look off his face. So instead you lean in, eyes half lidded, and look at him down your nose; A finger under his chin to make him look back, though he isn't looking away from you. "Practise does make perfect, Harp."

"I couldnta' said it any better myself."

[skygemspeaks]

your jarra breaks up with fian au is something im soooooo excited about (have been since you first started talking about it)!!!! it's just such a brilliant idea especially since fian gets a bit ehhhh to me as a character (especially once the amazing raven comes in!!!!) is there anything new you've thought of adding to it since reading the drago series?

I'm glad you're excited for it! It's something that's been on my mind ever since I first thought of it, but the main thing that's been putting me off actually writing and posting it was that I knew I was missing a lot of context before, since I hadn't read any of the extra content.

Fian continues to annoy me, and at this point idk if I just have a negative view on everything he does because I already disliked him, but that one part in Earth Prime with Jarra's skintight made me SO upset. Jarra's body had "developed" during her time in the regrowth tank, to the point that it caused the skintight to be smaller in the chest area, and the stretching of the fabric made her breasts more visible. And instead of informing Jarra about this, Fian just decided to enjoy the view? Wtf? He said that he didn't think it would matter because she usually wore a robe over her skintight but....he has to know there's always a chance others will see her in just her skintight. In literally the first book during the Solar 5 reacue, the two of them and Cassandra 2 were around each other in just their skintights when they were resting.

This au is so self indulgent for me because I'm just working out all my frustration with Fian in it and gushing over Raven the whole time 😂 Also, I haven't decided yet if I'll introduce Dalmora into the relationship but I think I might.

Anyways in regards to your question, yeah there are a few things I was thinking of adding to it, after having read the Drago 2781 series. There'll be multiple povs from Riak and Drago, and I'm hoping to find a way to bring Jaxon and Gemelle into the story because I love both of them so much.

There'll be a couple mentions of what happened during the Hera blockade, since we know that Raven's a big fan of Drago, and I feel like that might have to do with it 😂 Raven having more knowledge about the Tell Clan I think would really help Jarra come to terms with her Betan heritage a lot easier and would help facilitate a closer relationship with her family.

Also, we all know I'm on that doting grandfather Riak agenda. On God I'm gonna find a way to bring it up early on.

Oh and Playdon's thing with Jerez is really cute, I might throw in some hints about that too.

[angevinyaoiz]

Watched this Henry II docudrama while working on stuff yesterday and as u all know I love seeing what ppl do with the reenactor drama while Dan Jones walks around like a badboy at Chinon.

The thing is I've been so spoiled by the ugly haircuts and colorful stage camp toot toot music of The Devil's Crown that going to this SUPER grey and gritty modern realism filter is a whiplash haadjdjdidid. Also I realized they recycled a lot of this footage into the Secrets de Histoire video about Eleanor lmaoooo

The narrator talks in very serious voice about how THIS FAMILY DRAMA IS MORE BLOODIER AND DRAMATIC than FICTION which true I suppose but also to me it's Funny. It's Bathos.

We have Eleanor being the Evil Woman in the Yaoi shot here between Henry and Becket

Becket looks EVIL in all his shots and they play like the most foreboding haunting music it's like God damn u guys don't have ANY lighting whatsoever. Bc he comes across so sinister when they get to the part about Young Henry's dadson marriage coronation and they talk Abt Becket being uninvited it sounds like he's Maleficent or something..should show up in announced just to CURSE him (tbh he kind of did that with the excommunication lmaooo)

We get to see Henry Junior ofc which I'm always like yayyyyy it's my glup shitto...this doc really leans on that "Criticizing Henry re his interpersonal faults and internal personality" kind of motivation for his actions which I'm like ehhhh ofc things are more complex politically and I can't help but feel after reading Strickland's TYK book it's more hmmm. But anyways this distracts from the important things which is:

Narrator sticks pretty much to Actual Factual things that happens and the actor scenes follow suit BUT THEN! THERE IS SUDDENLY A FANFICTION (preceded by narrator going "one could only imagine what the heated conversations were like")

The dark ass lighting is annoying as hell but basically Young Henry bursts into Henry's room to be mad about Chinon (Mirabeau and Loudon) being given to John and they argue for a bit and then Henry gets mad and starts choking him???

But then he stops and then they're both like crying and hugging with this foreboding music. Anyways thanks timeline for the completely made up dadson bait for Me Personally

Blabla blah rebellion etc it's very truncated ad most of it is about bullying Henry LMAO

But ofc we get Eleanor helping da Boyz rebel and being mad Abt Toulouse and then there's the obligatory intimate shots w Richard (this also was recycled in Secrets de Histoire)

Also this series ofc follows the grand tradition of letting you know who John is by giving him a smirk and fancy lil fashion accessory in this case his cunty hat

Anyways pretty fun intro and overall generally factual. I nitpick bc I've just come off my reading ofc but djskjf the psychological narrative of "Henry grew up fighting for his throne in disordered times (the Anarchy) so that led him to want to reassert order and control in the lands and also not relinquish control in his family" feels oversimplified modern psychoanalysis storytelling rather than based in the reality, surprised there wasn't really any brief mention of the whole thing Abt the king of the English still being subject to Louis for the French lands thing bc that feels very central??? To the conflicts?? To me??? but it's a fun intro. At least there were no Party City Wigs like in Secrets de Histoire

[nikethestatue]

I feel like if SJM was going to do a crossover she should’ve stuck with the “original” school of thought from way back when where it would be a rowaelin x feysand crossover. Idk haha. I’m not a TOG girl or a rowaelin girl but I can’t deny the appeal of SJM’s two best, OG series crossover between her two main heroines and heroes. I feel like Feyre x Aelin is what people always wanted to see. I don’t think people ever cared as much about Bryce or Quinlar, and I doubly don’t think they cared as much about Bryce meeting with Nesta and Azriel. Just odd choices all around. People wanted the mains. If Bryce had to be there, people wanted Bryce and Feyre, or Bryce Feyre and Aelin. A part of me thinks SJM loves the stories she crafted for Rowaelin and Feysand so much that she didn’t want to introduce something new to it, she just wants to leave them as is. Whereas maybe she doesn’t care that much about Bryce or how Nesta’s story left off, so shes like, sure, I’ll have them meet.

I honestly think that that's coming. I think there will be a crossover between ACOTAR and TOG, because she already started it back in ACOSF and the last TOG book. So i think that's going to be expanded.

My assumption is that she is gonna bring in the Valgs to ACOTAR. Or Koschei is Valg and once he gets released it will be a wild and crazy time.

And I think there will be further involvement with Bryce and CC characters (ehhhh).

I dont think she wanted to crossover Bryce and TOG. I think she'll want to do a BIG crossover with her faves.

And it's like-Rhys hates Nesta? Just you wait till he meets Aelin! LOL

[ridiasfangirlings]

1/2) The former unnamed member of Homra learns that the Sarumi are dating and asks Yata WHY IS HE? What do you see in it? Is he an asshole!? And at this moment, he does not notice how the main part of Homra is trying to gesture to him that he should shut up. Yata says he's glad he asked, and pulls out of nowhere a 500-slide presentation "why Fushimi Saruhiko is so cool", two films, a theatrical production of a couple of books, and a bunch of other things.

Yata just has to explain to the uninitiated (also poor unnamed Homra guy, he probably properly hated Fushimi back when Yata was telling everyone what a total traitor asshole Fushimi was and then post-ROK hits and oops dating now). Like imagine this poor unnamed Homra guy who’s had a crush on Yata forever, he thinks Yata’s just super cool and strong and all that. Homra guy has been hesitant to actually admit to his crush though, because everyone knows that Yata is, uh, not the most experienced when it comes to love and all that. However the guy has been trying to bond with Yata when possible, and since Yata spends a lot of time complaining about that jerk traitor of course Homra guy also decides that Fushimi is indeed the worst most awful traitor. 

Then post-ROK Yata and Fushimi start dating and unnamed Homra guy is crushed, like he thought Yata hated Fushimi and now all of a sudden Yata’s dating him. One day Homra guy stops by the bar and it happens Yata’s waiting for Fushimi to get back from handling some Strain situation so they can go on a date and he’s chatting about it with Kusanagi. Unnamed guy can’t believe that after all this time Yata’s decided Fushimi is great and he can’t take it anymore, unrequited feelings and frustration welling up so he finally snaps what do you even see in that asshole, he’s just a skinny nerd who works for the Blues, you’ve really fallen Yata-san. Yata doesn’t even notice that he himself has been insulted as he’s like ‘eh? Ehhhh?’ and leans in really close, like he’s ready to fight. Homra guy clenches his fists but then Yata’s like let me tell you asshole Saruhiko is really fucking cool and around them the rest of the Homra guys sigh because Yata has launched into a tirade about Why Saruhiko Is The Coolest.

At some point a couple Homra alphabet boys sneak out of the bar to go help S4 handle the Strain issue so Fushimi can be freed to go get his boyfriend and the rest of them can be freed from hearing about how much Yata loves his boyfriend. Imagine Fushimi shows up just as Yata’s going over a list of all the amazing things Saruhiko has done and Fushimi just sighs and grabs Yata’s wrist like come on idiot you promised me a date right. Yata supposes he can let unnamed Homra guy off the hook now, Fushimi claims that Yata didn’t need to go so overboard but imagine there’s the slightest blush on his face.

[k1tt13sbl0g]

Head cannon for Jeff;

❗❗❗ART ISN'T MINE 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝘼𝙍𝙏 𝙄𝙎𝙉'𝙏 𝙈𝙄𝙉𝙀, I'm using this for visuals, I'm too tired to draw anything out but yea credit to these artist❗❗

So for mr jeffy boy, I like to use BanningK's jeff. If you haven't heard or read the story and know of the time line, PLEASE check out Mr.creepypasta's videos for it, they are the SHIT.

So anyways, Jeff in this timeline by the original author, he doesn't carve a smile into his face, doesn't magically turn white because of being burned. Instead of that happening, the three boys still gang up on him. 𝘽𝙪𝙩, the main one, I forget his name, his mom and Jeff's mom decided they should get to know one another, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘑𝘦𝘧𝘧'𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘓𝘪𝘶'𝘴 𝘣𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴. Granted, Jeff beat the shit out of the kids but whatever. Cops knew and were friends with the asshole crotch goblins families so they were on their side for the most part. 𝘼𝙉𝙔𝙃𝙊𝙊𝘿𝙇𝙀, Jeff goes over to this kids house, and they actually get along ang bond over some stuff. Eventually, their moms' leave, 𝙊𝙊𝙊 𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝙉𝘼𝙈𝙀 𝙒𝘼𝙎 𝙍𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙔, and Randy tells Jeff to follow him. They go into his garage and he eventually shows Jeff his flare gun. Jeff, not wanting to deal with more fighting, tries to leave, but Troy and Keith show up, and Randy's saying basically to let them beat Jeff up. And Jeff, losing it, beat the fuck out of all them basically. Randy's and Jeff's mom eventually come back, they hear the car pull up. Randy freaks out and tells them he needs to put the flare. Everyone starts putting stuff away, and as Jeff goes to pick up magazines, Randy actually accidentally drops the flare, it goes off and shoots Jeff in the face. So, now half of his face is burned, and he's blind in his left eye. Doesn't turn any shade of color, it's just burned skin now. He doesn't kill his brother either in this one, his brother actually goes on to write books about his brother. I think it's called "friend, brother, killer. By Liu Woods" some shit like that.

𝘽𝙐𝙏 𝙉𝙊𝙒 𝙁𝙊𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙐𝘼𝙇 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿 𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙉𝙊𝙉-𝙎𝙊𝙍𝙍𝙔 𝙁𝙊𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘽𝘼𝘾𝙆𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙍𝙔 𝘾𝙍𝘼𝙋 𝙄 𝙅𝙐𝙎𝙏 𝙉𝙀𝙀𝘿𝙀𝘿 𝙄𝙏 𝙁𝙊𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝙏𝙊 𝙎𝙊𝙍𝙏𝘼 𝙈𝘼𝙆𝙀 𝘼𝙉𝙔 𝙎𝙀𝙉𝙎𝙀

So, Jeff sees certain members of slender's proxy and acquaintances, (such as LJ, Jason the toy maker + Candy pop, Hobo Heart, and others), as family. Especially since his actual family was ehhhh not the best. Granted, he killed his parents but if they actually acknowledged their children and what was 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 going on, maybe they'd be alive. He views Sally as a little sister, and he has mixed feelings about her. Not in a bad sense, just, he feels awful. Especially since Jackson (EJ Goes by Jackson for my HC since LJS there and he tends to prefer it anyways), filled him in on what happened to her exactly. (𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙤𝙢 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙝𝙤𝙩 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙪𝙩𝙚 𝙙𝙤 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙘𝙝 𝙗𝙧𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙚) He likes Jackson, but has no idea how he'd even approach a person, er uh, demon? Like him. He knows he has emotions and feeling like a "human" but obviously he's not human anymore. With Ben and Toby, they're like his weird gbf's (Ben and Toby do be gay tho), but Jeff doesn't mind them dating. He's actually the reason they said anything to each other in the first place.

With jinx, it's weird. He met her one time just doing his crap in the forest. She attached him, because she needed to eat. Jeff having experienced junk like this, threw her off and they kinda had a stand off. Jeff was v e r y confused. I don't blame him, she'd be wearing a floor length dress, similar to mortica adams, but more Victorian goth. Eventually though the develope like a bro, sibling type bond. She's imortal and almost as old as Jack (LJ) so he didn't try to pursue her in anyway, plus he had *hinted* about it to her one time and she made it clear they wouldn't work out, but she was flattered non the less.

Uhhh yeaaaa. I'll make one for Jinxs as well, especially because she's like my sona and I plan on writing a story about her background and how she became a vampire. It's sorta similar to Luis in "Interview with a vampire". But y'all will hear about this as I go hehe

[cylidae]

A Detailed Consideration of Every Peter Ship

I ship Peter from Divergent with literally everybody. For the sake of this, I'm throwing out my own version of Peter (for the most part) because my version is gay, and that'd eliminate a lot of people on this ranking. I wanna give my thoughts on the ships in terms of chemistry, not just say "He's gay, no." to every ship with a girl. The girls may rank lower due to this bias, though. I'm skipping over people who are significantly older for obvious reasons along with skipping people Peter's never met because I'd have nothing to talk about. Without further ado, let's start.

PETER X TRIS:

No. Just no. I despise this ship so much. We get to see inside Tris's mind, and not once does she ever have a kind thought about Peter. My headcanons about Peter associating Tris with his sister really doesn't help with my distaste for this. I don't like Tris and I adore Peter.

PETER X MYRA:

I almost didn't put this one on the list because I'm not sure that Peter and Myra had any notable interactions, but I included every other initiate from their group, so it felt rude to leave Myra out. I don't like this idea, sorry. In my Edward is abusive AU, I can imagine them bonding and comforting each other over that, but it's platonic for me. I've never been a fan of the trope where characters escape an abusive relationship and can only move on and feel okay again by dating somebody else. As if you need a partner to "save you." Plus, trauma isn't a great relationship foundation.

PETER X ERIC:

This is a hard one for me. On one hand, I go off of the books, and in the books, Eric is 18. On the other, he's 24 in the movies, and some part of me still sees him as that. I also don't love shipping things with a huge power imbalance. It's essentially teacher x student, and I'm not comfortable with that. I do use this pairing occasionally as a situation where Peter is being abused/groomed, but other than that, it just rubs me the wrong way.

PETER X CHRISTINA: I have to admit that I don't care much for this ship. While I'm all for enemies to lovers, Christina doesn't have object permanence for Peter after the first book. If there was more of an arc to their relationship or if they continued being bitter to each other throughout the whole book series, I could get behind this. As is, though, it feels like they slowly fade out without any fanfare.

PETER X MOLLY:

Ehhhh... See, this is where my gay Peter bias shines through. I do like the idea of these two absolutely atrocious people just chilling as the world's worst couple, but I just can't quite get behind it. No real reason, but it doesn't appeal to me.

PETER X FOUR: Technically, this has the same teacher/student problem as Peter and Eric, but due to the facts that Four is 18 in both the movies and books, Four is just a trainer while Eric is a faction leader, and after book one Four has no power over him, this is better. I can't say I love this ship or that I'll ever make any content for it, but it's serviceable. I can think of a few good ideas.

PETER X AL: I've never considered this one before making this tierlist for some reason, but I'm fond of this idea! I like the idea of putting Peter, an absolute wreck, with a total sweetheart. It's even more interesting when you consider that he helped Peter try and toss his friend off a cliff. Perhaps there was a bigger reason than rankings he tried that?

PETER X WILL: Another one that I never considered before this list, but I like it a lot for some reason. I'll always be a slut for enemies to lovers, but enemies and lovers at the same time is even better. I'd love to see Will talking with Tris and co about Peter and he say something like "Well, he's not that bad..." and everybody just stares at him in horror. I can't rank this any higher due to Will's early death, but it has potential.

PETER X EDWARD:

This is the first ship on the list that I actually use regularly. These two have huge bitter ex boyfriend vibes and I'm here for it. The situation also isn't as black and white as it seems. Edward claims that the reason Peter stabbed him was a physical altercation that Peter did not emerge the victor of. What... what did you do, Edward?

PETER X MOLLY X DREW: I had to edit to add this. Don't know how I forgot it considering I loved this ship for a while a couple years back. Anyways, this is awesome. I love the idea of these three demons just casually and happily dating. Fantastic.

PETER X DREW:

Now this. This is where it's at. Drew is the person who sticks by Peter and the only person who I feel genuinely likes him. He's constantly taking the fall for Peter's actions without complaint. I love framing these two as an unrequited love situation, where Drew will do anything for Peter to notice him, and Peter takes advantage of that again and again. Drew gets hurt for it and Peter never has to grow as a person since Drew will never give him consequences for his actions. It's terrible for both of them and I love it.

PETER X CALEB: Anybody who knows me knows where this is ranking. C'mon. These two are awesome together. Throughout the entire second book, the two would have been in Erudite together without the rest of the cast. Anything could've happened. Not to mention, Tris sees them together chatting on the plane, and when Four tries to talk to Peter, he mentions that he and Caleb are in a "Tried to kill Tris club." You just know that these two are bonding over their shared guilt at being horrible people. Plus, Caleb volunteered to go turn off the memory serum (and died in the process) and that's when Peter did the Divergent equivalent of committing suicide without ever knowing Caleb backed out. Maybe things would've been different if he had known.