#like thats gonna change the way society is huh
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the juxtaposition of the name hotguy vs writing superhero angst is making me lose it but like what do i do. change his name??? no. anything to avoid having to come up with superhero names.
#im already contemplating changing cuteguy's name#bc i am so. ehh. about whether or not grian would willingly choose the name cuteguy#especially if he didnt know scar personally#like i could rationalize it but im Thinking ok#i also have no fucking clue what grians powers are here LOL#im going boring for scar sooo#OH GOD#i have not been factoring in superpowers in my superhero au oh god#like thats gonna change the way society is huh#wuh oh!#world building huh#anyway. my head hurty#physically and metaphorically
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Also don't think anyone has said this (thats a joke) but like, art styles aside:
The animation, expressions, movement, everything of ATSV is IMPECCABLE.
Like insanely, ridiculously, almost mind bogglingly good.
[This is a MEDIUM length post]
The main strength is the Emotion -
In terms of animation, the range of emotions Miguel is capable of expressing is like... crazy good. Gwen's emotions ARE UNSPEAKABLY IMPRESSIVE.
LIKE...ANIMATING HER FUCKING BREATHING???? AND BLINKS!! AS AN EMOTIONAL CUE. HELLO???!!
And the movie hinges on this - almost every scene has an emotional cue that HAS to hit. Whether is Jess's looks of hesitation or Peter B.'s looks of horror.
And this may seem like the most ridiculous comparison ever made but like...
The Bee Movie and Across the Spider-Verse came out FIFTEEN YEARS APART.
THE BEE MOVIE...THIS MONSTRASITY that has plagued humankind - was made less than two decades from THIS:
The fact that we progressed that far as a society (pun intended) in that short of a time will never not baffle me.
I genuinely cannot name any other animated movie that:
Has multiple styles throughout the duration
Can seamlessly change styles without the viewer immediately noticing (like Gwen returning to her universe)
Show two or more animation styles on screen at the same time (and no, Roger Rabbit and Space Jam don't count - that's half live action lol)
Just off the top of my head - ATSV shows up to three styles in one scene: I'm mainly thinking of the scene that shows Hobie (customized - style 1), Peter B. (standard - style 2), and Miguel (a light stylized - style 3).
It can be brought to four if you want to count Miles/Gwen, though their style isn't visible.
I can think of a couple scenes that genuinely blew me away in terms of animation -
One being Rio's 'What-EVER?!' because of the little stance correction and head bob she does, because it's such a natural thing to do. And it adds so much to an already perfect line.
It's something someone would genuinely do IRL without even noticing.
Another I LOVE is Pavitr and Hobie roughhousing.
Like, I can't yell about these five seconds of animation more.
It's SO fluid it looks like Motion-Capture and I left the theatre googling is any Mo-Cap was used in the movie (and from what I can tell - no, it's all original animation).
The way Pavitr falls to the side and bumps them - This not only being a natural reaction to Hobie and his weight, but it also LOOKS natural. So much so you can see it affect Hobie's model too. The movement has kinetic energy on both models -
Which is AMAZING CONSIDERING THEY'RE ANIMATED ON LIKE FOUR DIFFERENT TIMES.
In this shot alone, there's the guitar, vest, AND Hobie, all of which have their own animation rules. Plus the outline on his guitar AND him. And then there PAVI too, who's running at a higher frame rate, touching and interacting with Hobie.
So much so that Hobie's model nearly wraps himself around Pavi. Pavi's hair is moving, Hobie's guitar is moving, there's movement in the background - and it looks GREAT.
PLUS THE CAMERA IS MOVING AND GOSTLING. IT'S NOT A STATIC SHOT. The models and camera are moving AS IF THEY'RE REAL when they're not.
That's - My..I CAN EVEN COMPUTE THAT.
But by far, I think the range of expression used on Miguel is like... Chef's kiss.
(of course I was gonna trick you into reading another post about Miguel. Uh-huh that's what's about to happen)
Like... are you kidding me?
NAH DEADASS ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????
The whole later half of the movie hinges on Miguel looking buckwild crazy insane and they NAIL that. And like-
Oh my god what the actual fuck
?????????????????????????? I........ I have nothing to add. After that picture......Nah... LMAOOO
(left: actual photo of Moche watching this happen)
But Anyway chile, This movie is like.. genuinely a modern marvel.
If Marvel gave Tim Gunn 4 billion dollars and five years, whatever live-action rendition he would have made would not even compare to ATSV on any conceivable level - that's how good it is so jot that down.
And like...don't even get me started on Hobie..his design..his representation...girl I will start crying in this Arby's do not play with me
I just felt that needed to be said.
you get what I'm saying yall know what I mean iight coo
Here's a picture of Hobie to cleanse your palette.
Bye.
#spiderman#atsv#spider man#marvel#hobie brown#across the spiderverse#spider punk#spiderpunk#gwen stacy#miguel ohara#miguel o'hara#miguel o hara#pavitr prabhakar#pavitr#pavi#astv#across the spider verse#miles morales#spiderman 2099#spiderman atsv
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intuitive messages from your person (really specific so probably not gonna resonate lol)
first time doing this! a bit of practice, since im not good with listening to my intuition. but were trying new things this new year. lool lets get started :D
m tellin u its like super SUPER specific ;D
pile one:
things that could have significance : genshin, but more specifically, wishing, debate clubs, when you wish upon a star, steven universe end credits (love like you), lavender or mint, milk, the name sofia?, sweaters or oversized clothes, telephone (the song or the object), dial/tone, closet
hello dear. have i been away for too long? apologies, work is very hard nowadays and i find that ive been losing myself more and more. but ive been thinking about you quite a lot. especially at night. dreaming of you. ive been irresponsable, not answering your calls quickly enough and leaving things to pile up between the two of us. but please know that im working very hard and trying the best i can. you must be furious with me, and i can understand that. give me more time, and i promise i wont let you down. id never let you down. i love you too much to ever be able to do that. ive been losing sleep, and thats tiring because i get to see you when i sleep so i find that ive been taking meds more often to help with that. thats stupid, and id know you tell me the same. god, i wish you were next to me right now. then id fall asleep quicker than a light flicks off. music. ill speak to you through our favorite songs, and ill listen for things you say to me in yours as well. its time for me to say good bye though. know that nothing has changed between us, and i care for you as much as ever before.
signed, yours.
pile two:
things that could have significance: grocery stores at night, denki kaminari vibes honestly!!, mixtapes (like old cassette ones), guitar, dog or pets, crescent, artic monkeys, blasting music super loud, summertime, you get me so high - the neighbourhood, electric (or electric love)
gee, its really been a while since we’ve talked last. you’re my best friend, ill love you forever, yknow that? you’re super cool. cooler than popsicles on a summer day. cooler than penguins in the north pole. wait-- penguins live in the south pole? no one told me that?! hey! its not my fault, i never knew that. jeez... still teasing as ever, huh? sometimes i wonder how it would have been if i hadn’t moved away/transferred schools. we’d be tightknit! and we already are. there are so many stupid pictures of us in my camera roll that i jsut scroll through them when i feel like i miss you. nahh im just playing! i always miss you! we should totally hang out sometime soon! lets race grocery carts!
see ya! - your best friend
pile three:
things that could have significance: notebooks, preppy or academia aesthetic, fandom or into dnd, pearls or pearly whites, ‘shade’ colors (white, grey, black-- but emphasis on grey), 505 by artic monkeys, classroom, bunch of school imagery
dear you
why do you have to be so perfect? ive always been top of my class, such an overachiever, but with you, its like all of my accomplishments are suddenly fade away. you’re awesome like that, you know. stop letting your parents control your life. you’re a super smart person, dont let anyone EVER tell you otherwise. oh, and you can let your hair down too. im not gonna judge you, and plus, i think you look nice without your hair all tight like that. meet me at our spot. the spot that’s only ours. a place where we can just be ourselves. what? stop playing around, trying to get me to tell you again. what if someone sees this letter?! its just something between you and me, and i know i can trust you. id trust you with my life, pile three. im serious. stay the way you are. dont become a product of society. you’re absolutely perfect the way you are.
from, yours
pile four TW: Harsh truth! Please don’t read unless you’re ready and willing
things that could have significance: floating, or sinking(into a mattress, or in water), bath/bathing, milky way or space in general, being loved by a ghost, anxiety/confusion, salt or minerals. lots of comparisons here, so that could be something too. also francis forever - mitski and last words of a shooting star -mitski
this person didn’t have a letter to write to you. they were very blocky and choppy and took long pauses in between of answering. also, these are just sentences, so everytime there’s a period, its a sentence ending, and a new idea beginning
i dont need you. i have everything i need. so why are you here? what am i missing? what do i not understand? stop getting into my head. ive been thinking of you. you look nice. (dont) call me. please trust me, i can keep my promises. that, i can swear. bandaids cant heal my scars. sometimes i just want to fall asleep for a long time, and you cant stop or save me. they mean more to me than you. forever. i still care about you. they lied. im getting bored. you used to be the sun. what dont you understand? i still loved you. goodbye. (bonus message: they wont last)
#pac#intuitive messages#pick a pile#tarot#tarot messages#psychic messages#i really dont know if this will resonate#hopefully it does!#have a lovely day#or night#either way#dont lose ur light <3
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ok so she IS planning on staying alive and in society, just not with the undersiders... worrying
discreet is a funny word when it comes to bugs, while its difficult to feel a mosquito land on you, it's certainly visible so a group will usually always know when theyre being checked out by skitter
parian really is just doing the bare minimum interaction with the villain community huh. honestly i dont blame her but i am sad we'll never get to see her and skitter work together to make better costumes
when did this change happen? it wasnt long ago she needed a layer of cloth between her skin and her bugs, now she's doing stuff like this where they live on her, move throughout her hair, and clean her skin (that happened in the post sex scene but im not bringing bits from that up because i dont care about these peoples sex lives)
de-escalationary practices! way to go girl!
oh thats interesting, theres a second layer of statements underneath these.
miss militia is sub-asking what the contents of the bags are,
skitter is sub-responding that in vague terms, the contents are something she brought with her, possibly as a precaution (theyre filled with bugs)
FASCINATING (this might be boring to you but im ok with that)
translation: gunsfucker was being pissy about it
i cannot get a solid read on this girl, whats her deal?
im a little confused on what taylor thought would happen if she freed dinah, if she wasn't gonna work under her, obviously she'd try to use it to help the most people (via the heroes and PRT)
so while miss militia is psychoanalysing skitter, skitter is psychotherapising fletchette, and in turn fletchette is sapphically mourning/yearning about parian
funniest possible brunch (they dont have any food so its not really a brunch but the word helps define the tableau)
name change?
ok heres some suggestions
Concourse
Mindfang
Apiary
Critter
Ananse
Vriska
Compound
Weevil
the girls are CONSPIRING
is it just me or does taylor ride up a lot with the concept of necessity
she does stuff noone can or wants to do a bit too frequently for this not to be one of her motifs
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an incomplete list of things fukimono barely fucking touched on that NEED AND DESERVE additional depth:
- abeno being "strangely cruel" to humans/disconnected from humanity/more youkai than human culturally speaking
- also his FAMILY?? WHERE ARE THEY ????
- the three powers. give me more underworld laws and politics. i want to know wtf ashiya and them were stamping when rippou called for help. i want to know how you have a whole court system and yet cutting ppls arms off in the streets as an example to whoever happens to be shopping that day is the way to deal with thievery. what are the laws here exactly run me the documents
- the three powers and aoi and whatever wholesomely fucked up youkai coparenting situation they had going on with baby abeno. we only got a few panels and i need MORE
- the mononokean + the princess + yahiko/their whole tri-power underworld/human world balance connection thing. i get it in the vaguest sense but whats going on there
- THE MONONOKEAN. THE FUCKING MONONOKEAN. BRO YOU CANNOT HAVE SUCH A COOL FUN INTERESTING YOUKAI BE SO INTEGRAL TO THE STORY AND ONLY GIVE US THE BAREST INFORMATION ABOUT IT PLEASE THE LORE DROP THE FUCKING LORE
- influence
- influence taking on the will/spirit (?) of the person it once resided in post-mortem (??) (is influence itself a demon that possesses humans??? like wtf why does my mc power gain consciousness when i die wtf wtf wtfff)
- nah im sayin it again what the FUCK is influence and how does it work. Yeah Uh The Thing That Lets Me See Youkai And Also Suppress Their Will With My Own And Also Kills Them If I Want And Also Forms An Identity/Steals Mine (During The Time I Used It) When I Die If It Doesn't Die With Me. You Know. Influence. like huh what huh ?????
- parasite shrubs and the sea of trees. they were both explained well enough but the fact that all of youkai society is contained within the bubble of the princess's power and everything outside of it is a lawless death sentence is SO COOL. conceptually. like how many square miles can she cover? what does the youkai population number even look like? the three powers all have "bases" in different locations but what about the regular citizens? are there multiple towns? cities? how would living near the border of the sea of trees be handled? is the sea of trees ever used as a means of capital punishment? do they have any kind of guard or patrol ? im not gonna edit it sorry but this is bled into my next point, which was
- youkai society
- sakae and nara
- sakae and aoi
- sakae in general. we know bros family got squadwiped by youkai, he killed them indiscriminately with his influence as revenge up until he met aoi who (SOMEHOW we dont fucking KNOW because we dont know shit about aoi EITHER) changed his heart enough to have him secretly working for the mononokean, at some point he started a family, and he died trying to save aoi. and thats it. how did he fall in love with nara?? why was his hair gold the first time they met and then black after that even though he could still see youkai?? how did he meet aoi?? what was his personality like beyond traumatized and exhausted??? we will never fucking know :D
- aoi in general. all we know about them is they were the previous master of the mononokean, if you bully haruitsuki they will kill you <3, they saved him from youkai as a itty bitty kid and probably kidnapped (????) him to the underworld for child employment training, theyre the coolest strongest cat ever and everybody thought they were dead, and theyre probably gonna be the next underworld princess (#nongendered). what does their human form look like? whats their personality like beyond "loves abeno"? why did they become the master of the mononokean? how did they and sakae become friends/partners? what made them risk everything by letting sakae work for the mononokean in secret rather than just killing the walking youkai murder machine? WE WILL NEVER. FUCKING. KNOW. :D
- that one youkai who was studying their school to implement some kind of standardized education in the youkai world. we shoulda checked back in on them fr
- KINAKO. WE SHOULDA CHECKED BACK IN ON HER FR
#posts#fukigen na mononokean#abeno haruitsuki#ashiya hanae#ashiya sakae#aoi#like what the fuuuck the most interesting parts of the whole manga were the ones that got glazed over the most what the fuuuuuuuuuck
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bbl thots zoomed from my brain
ONE. i keep waiting for the explanation of the humancentricity of the backgrounds- CUPS WITH STRAWS. BUNK BEDS. **MICROSCOPES FOR HUMAN EYES**. esp when bird vs human society is such a big topic in game- even the birds who want to be free of humans still measure themselfs by human yardsticks.
-from osmosis ithought hitori and the teacher were in love. but they were the same person. and nageki's brother ;__; it was brotherly grief that hurt him actually....
-*******shuus actual real largest shakespearian fatal flaw is that he failed to consider that other birds aren't as thrilled about murder as he is******
-TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-he lost nageki that way and his whole project was a bust because ryouta didnt want to kill people!!!!
-haha shuu unrequited crush on ryuouta's dad
-they really only call his voice actors for mlm roles of some degree of eviltude huh
iwant to believe he was still into the killings even then. on the down low or something.
-ryouta and hiyoko rookie mistake wishing for a world where birds and humans 'dont fight' as oppose to 'live together in peace'. wish stories 101
-i think i was expecting much more of like.... a 'mystery' rather than 'a lot of twists thrown at me in rapid succession', but i would love to redo bbl and see if it is in fact 'solvable'. i hope so!!
-even if its solvable tho you have to admit its silly. i was expecting 'a silly game thats actually serious' but got 'a silly game thats actually silly in a different way'
-which isnt bad!!! just talking expectations vs reality
-so the doves party (pro human_) is willing to use humans unethically to power their robots and the hawk party (pro bird) is willing to create a situation where hundreds of bird students are huirt/killed to get the human killing bird out into their midst. politics is hell.
-with full full context shuu route is even funnier he didnt just risk the dome he risked the dome while THROWING OUT HIS EXPERIMENTAL SUBJECT HES WORKED ON FOR YEARS. cause she annoyed him into killling her. his other fatal flaw is choosing short term satisfaction over long term goals. risk it all.
-so lets get this straight. isa x ryuoutadad unrequited Feelings Of Some Kind (lets assume it was a crush) -> ryuoutadad dies -> hey if you see my kid [i was threatened.mp4 voice IF you see him like dont go out of your way] <- thats canon by the way that he was told not to go out of his way about it im p sure .
ANYWAY. IFFF you see my kid can you help him out with stuff -> just hoppin along down the street evilstyle when i see his kid and his bestie crying for the girl's dead parents -> oh ryuota is there anything i can do to fulfill a wish -> [FAILS WISHMAKING 101] ->
shuu searches for the deadliest disease -> nageki you will help me kill everybody -> he hates this -> kills himself -> hitori finds out -> changes name and becomes teacher to find the rest of nagekis body -> ryouta hows your tummy pretty good it doesnt seem -> turned into the charon carrier -> nagekis in ryoutas liver now -> i dont wanna murder people -> is ok i can brainwash u into wanting to murder people -> noo rly -> nageki brother has a shadow evil moment about it -> shuu lives and rejoins the gang as their evil gay uncle i hope -> also hiyoko's brain and ghost are there and she and ryouta are gonna explore alt timelines in their brains with alarming accuracy while they wait for things to get fixed.
i think.
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Midnight Gaming: If a vampire comes along, You must whip it!
So last night I played Castlevania on NES and Super Castlevania past midnight, checked socials later to find.... Ghost in the shell japanese voice actress Atsuko Tanaka passed away.... aw.
So Ghost in the shell is a pretty, pretty big deal, given its a contributing factor to a lot of the cyberpunk genres notable features as well as projects such as the matrix. The original 1995 film blew the minds of audiences that year and showed what adult animation could accomplish.
Well, the voice actress for the main character was confirmed to have passed away at the age of 61, a woman by the name Atsuko Tanaka. Kindest regards are given to her family on what is a sad day.
Bit of a bummer way to start a post huh? Well that cant be helped I suppose. If you havnt looked into the Gits series, maybe consider giving a look.
So Konami has a pretty bad reputation nowadays, since they've ended up ostracising one of their most notable and well respected developers for... reasons Im not entirely sure, and burning the bridge on gaming to focus on gambling machines, only to start to come crawling back. I wonder about the management of that company and what led them to make such awful decisions. I suppose the release of the castlevania and contra retro bundles and the upcoming silent hill 2 remake looking like it may be good is starting to change some minds but I do hope people never forget the shit they pulled.
So Castlevania? On NES? Generally regarded as a classic on the system and there were times were I've played a bit here or there but never got further than the 2nd stage. I decided for last night, i'd try to beat it without using save states and try to beat it legit. I got to the 3rd stage before I decided to abandon that. Castlevania is hard, of course it was, a lot of games back then were hard. And some folks may try to chime in saying that "gamers" back then were a different breed and had skill.
Thats a fucking lie and I hope enough time has passed that we as a society admit that. It was never about skill, it was memorization, going through sections of a game repeatedly until you learn where all the enemies spawn, where the best items are and whats the best route to take until you're able to complete a game without dying once.
And this was possible because you had more time to dedicate towards beating a game as child, along with having not many games to play at the time. Being an adult with more responsibilities along with a wider selection of games to choose from, means you're not gonna spend a lot of time learning one game. I sure as hell cant, even with save states.
Since the game was on NES, you only had two buttons and a dpad. So naturally you can only whip left and right with using items requiring you to hold up and pressing b. The game does demand some precision since a good number of enemies in the game tend to be small like the medusa heads, ravens and the hunchbacks. Those bastards were an absolute pain to deal with, especially since the whip has a slight delay in the attack animation. It doesnt come out immediately, belmont does a wind up first then a whip so if a projectile was coming towards and you whip too late, you'll get hit before you whip and you'll feel like a twit.
I made it to Dracula phase one before I just gave up, I didnt feel like banging my head against that wall tonight. Since it was yet midnight at that point I decided to switch to Super Castlevania from the SNES, A game I first played on the wii through Virtual Console. And man, Super Castlevania just feels so much nicer to play.
A main arguement for why older games were difficult was due to the rental market. If you rented a game and beaten it, you werent likely to buy it which does mean less revenue for the publisher. And games were fairly short to complete if you knew how to beat them so upping the difficulty seemed like a nobrainer way to pad the length. But overtime games got bigger, stories more grander and worlds more expansive. So I guess overtime that necessity was being used less and less overtime, as developers were able to build bigger and bigger games. Atleast thats what I think.
But Super Castlevania just feels a lot nicer to play for two big reasons. One being that the difficulty was toned down a bit and feels a bit more fair. Before, you had to know where turkey legs were hidden to recover health from your mistakes but here, you can also get a small chicken leg either from a candle or dropped from an enemy to recover a small bit of health. Less than the wall turkey but still health recovery nonetheless and therefore, a bit more allowance for mistakes. Still has its challenge though especially in the platforming but there were less occasions were I felt it was bullshit.
Second is that it controls way, way better since you can whip in 8 directions. EIGHT. Left, right, straight up, diagonally up on left or right, you can even jump and whip down. And if you held the button down, you can keep the whip out and twirl it. Lil noodle. Lil vampire killer noodle.
Items in both games are useful and becomes situational in some cases. The crosses and stopwatch were essential to get through a lot of sections in NES were in Super, I just stuck with the crosses especially since I have the upgrades for them. On the subject of items, it becomes another challenge just to keep an item you wanted. If you end up dying, you lost that item and if you got it before a checkpoint, you aint getting it back unless you game over. And if not that, its when you whip a candle and another item drops, you'd need to be careful not too stand too close to a candle and wait for the item to despawn before you go foward.
I stopped Super when I was at the clocktower because it was already past midnight and I didnt want to spend more time up just to finish it but I atleast feeling pretty pleased. I didnt feel that way when I dropped Castlevania on NES.
One final note before I wrap it up, the Castlevania retro collection I have on switch has a number of the classic games before Symphony of the Night, the nest trilogy, Super castlevania, the genesis game and the Game boy ones. The game boy being regarded as not being too great The sames one that got remakes on the Wii through wiiware but never got ported anywhere else, not even for this collection. You know what you got instead? Kid Dracula... Kid Fucking Dracula......... Konami is Konami I suppose....
Anyways, thank you for reading, I will see you tomorrow. Feel free to leave game suggestions and/or feedback, anons are currently on.
#midnight gaming#gaming#castlevania#konami#ghost in the shell#anime#super castlevania iv#fucking....#kid dracula
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Companions discovering that Sole is like… 14? And that somehow this terrifying force of nature (and possibly one of the scariest people they know) is a literal child? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It started with little things... Aggressive intimation, blackmail and even a bit of some good hearted brawls. That they were okay with, but what really caught they're attention was when sole decapitated a group of Raiders and put their heads on pikes just for trying to rob them.... Thats when they knew they were following the scariest, most cutthroat person in the commonwealth...
That's why after the battle they got in their head to confront sole, but little did they know or expect that mid conversation sole's helmet would be removed revealing their ...... baby face?
Maccready
"What The hell!?"
Oh. my. God. They were a kid? what the hell were they doing dragging around a merc at their age? not that they needed it given the past display.... Once he got over his initial shock he'd realize they weren't that different from him at 14
"Huh you kinda remind me of me when I was your age..."
He'd be brought back to his memories of little lamplight and hed probably bore the shit outta sole with his non stop stories. On a more serious note he's gonna keep them safe with all of his being because becoming a parent really changed his veiw on kids in the wastes.... Even if they are pint sized badasses.
Hancock
"Well look at you... just barely big enough to hold a gun and you got the world figured out? better than most folks I reckon."
Hes impressed. At soles age he was still hiding jet under his mattress, sneaking outta his house in diamond city to make-out with the girl next door and being an all around menace to society in the way only a preteen can.... he wonders if they'dve been friends if they had met back then? nah sole would've probably kicked his ass and he'dve probably deserved it.
Cait
"Well aren't you something ya little shite. remind me not to piss ya off.... christ"
She thinks it's hilarious if not a bit terrifying. The most deadly person in the commonwealth is 14 and 5ft.... says a lot about the state of things in her mind.
Danse
"What the hell was that!?
His heart would drop when he saw their tiny face. They were barely old enough to start having responsibility let alone be wandering the wastes.... how did they get out here? no wonder they were so violent they're probably used to people taking advantage of them.
"Listen, I don't know how you ended up out here, but I think you should consider training with scribes your own age. It's important to not take life to fast to avoid.... Discrepancies such as earlier. Train along side your brothers and sisters hone your raw talent into something more than just survival of the fittest.
If they agreed hed personally take them under his wing and teech them all he knows. He would feel a strange sense of pride everytime he fills our a report of their latest accomplishment. proud doesn't do justice to how he feels.
Curie
She'd be rescued by a masked individual in vault 81. Only as they took their helmet off to administer the cure to Austin, did she notice it. They were a child themselves maybe 13/14. A sense of fear for the child's saftey came over her that's why she wanted to go with them. A feeling she would all too soon realize was in vain.
"Oh was decapitation really necessary? Are all children so violent these days?"
After watching the kid make quick and grusemon work of a particularly cut-throat group of Raiders shes very weary of the kid, but also kinda glad to be on their good side? I mean there's nobody else she'd rather have watching her back, but she's scared to get on their bad side.....
Deacon
"There was the old pre-war film called children of the corn..... ya kinda remind me of that"
He thinks they're terrifying. He knew since before he met them that they were only a kid, and his opinion had been the same then, as it is now. He knows what a fucked up childhood can do to someone, but damn.... This was another level... and he was gonna do everything in his power to keep this kid on his and the railroads good side.
Piper
"Well that's just wrong on so many levels...."
She gets the wastland makes people grow up fast, but there's no amount of desensitization that will get you used to an emotionless cut-throat preteen.....
Nick
"Look kid... I get it. Life's hard, but you get back what you give and right now what you're giving is all sorts of messed up..."
He believes wholeheartedly in karma... and this.... He couldn't just watch this kid continue down this self destructive path. especially when he knows first hand what it takes for a person to get to that point..... he'll try hard to mentor them and get them to soften even if just a little...
Preston
"General! That's not how we represent the minutemen. You're acting more like a raider."
he understands anger and resentment, but something about this person's violent tendencies made him feel uncomfortable.... Like everything about it was just all wrong
Thats when they'd take their helmet off cheeks flushed red with anger. He would would freeze. The general of the minutemen was..... a child? I mean it's not like he had them fill out an application, but he had expected them to be older.
"Where are your parents!?
It would slip out of his mouth before he'd have time to fully think it through.
"Where are yours!!
They'd retort with the same harshness the raiders had seen earlier. They'd go on like this for a while before Preston would realize he wasn't wining by fighting with them and would chose to kinda adopt them instead.... They clearly needed guidance after all.
X6-88
"I like you"
If all kids were like this he may just consider adoption.
#fallout#fallout 4#fo4 companions#fallout 4 companions#maccready#deacon#paladin danse#hancock#john hancock#rj maccready#robert joseph maccready#deacon fallout 4#fo4 deacon#cait fo4#cait fallout 4#fo4 curie#curie#curie fallout 4#fallout piper#piper wright#preston garvy#fo4 preston#fo4 nick valentine#nick valentine#fo4 x6 88#x6 88
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Oooh, an idea has struck. The brothers reacting to Dom Male!MC reuniting with his childhood bestfriend in the Devildom, only their bestfriend is now a high ranking/powerful incubus who has a fuck ton of influence & money. (Not nearly as powerful as any of the brothers or Diavolo, of course, but you get the point)
And while normally a simple childhood friend wouldn’t be enough to bother the brothers, DM!MC’s Femboy CH!Bestfriend is the optimum of gorgeous, with a lithe & toned body and an “innocent” charm to him.
Spoiler Alert, CH!Bestfriend has been in love with DM!MC since they were kids (though it was just puppy love back then) and is determined to never let him get away from him again, resulting in him being extra clingy and needy.
Another Spoiler Alert, DM!MC’s childhood bestfriend may or may not be a mix of a “Worship” & “Self Sacrifice” Yandere.. (Look up “The Dere Types Wiki” if your confused)
You have some very interesting ideas😂 im so sorry this took so long, I didn't want to post it until I was back up to my full working capacity after getting injured and after breaking up with someone😁
Anyways, without further ado, here ya go😘
The Brother's Reactions to M! MC'S Yandere Childhood Incubus! Friend
Warnings: Violence, Language, Blood, VERY SLIGHT sexual themes, some non-consentual touching in Levi's section, brief mention of drugging in Beel's
Lucifer
At first, didn't think twice of MC having a childhood friend
But when he heard the word incubus
He got the smile on his face
You know the one
Lucifer "innocently" is around whenever the incubus is around
Its starts off small
Little poisoned glances from the incubus here and there
But eventually it escalated and turned into him putting a possessive arm around MC's waist
Lucifer snapped
The second the Incubus was alone, Lucifer followed him down an alley
Slammed that fucker against the wall and held him there by the throat
The incubus started laughing, even when Lucifer tightened his grip
"You'll never get rid of me. I have connections to everyone, Fallen Angel. I've loved him since before you even knew he existed, and a prissy peacock like you isnt gonna stop me from making him mine, even if I have to drug and kidnap him"
Lucifer only smiled and released him
The incubus smirked, daintily dusting off his lithe figure
Thinking he won, he shouldered his way past Lucifer
Only to stop short in horror
Deep growls greeted him
Lucifer didn't even bother hiding the screams of the incubus as Cerberus ripped into him
After a while, he signaled Cerberus to stop
As the incubus lies on the ground whimpering, Lucifer calmly says:
"Now that I've shown you just what I'm willing to do to protect MC, I'll make you a deal. MC cares about you, as a FRIEND. But his heart belongs to me and me alone, and mine belongs to him. If you can understand and respect that, I'll allow you near him. But one wrong word, one wrong placement of a hand, and I won't hesitate to finish you off myself. And believe me," he says with a dark chuckle "I won't be as gentle as Cerberus."
Mammon
This man immediately is on high alert
Someone trying to take what's HIS?
The incubus makes him more greedy than ever
Decides not to leave MC's side for a second
Even when he's sleeping
When Mammon can't help the incu-bitch (his nickname for the childhood friend) being around, he acts sort of like a child, which makes him look like a dick in comparison to the incubus's calm and innocent facade
Mammon tries to tell MC there's something up, but he just chalks it up to Mammon being Mammon
One day, MC randomly receives news from the human world that his mother contracted something contagious and was placed in ICU
The incu-bitch was, of course, right there when MC started tearing up, letting him cry into his shoulder
Mammon sees this and starts to protest
This leads MC to snap and tell Mammon he's being a child
Mammon leaves them be and thinks hard
Comes to the conclusion that maybe MC is right, and he begrudgingly decides to apologize to the incubus
As he approaches him, Mammon catches a glimpse of the Incubus's *expensive* phone
Unable to resist, he throws a coin against the wall in the opposite direction.
When he turns to look at the noise, Mammon snatches the phone and yeets off to his room
When he gets there, he opens the phone- no lock- and is startled by what he sees
A fake texting app, along with the messages telling MC his mother was sick
Mammon was about to run to find MC, when he heard a slight chuckle
Looking up, he saw the incubus...holding a knife
"You just couldn't stay away, could you? You've been a pain in the ass ever since I got here. But no matter, once MC sees how *cruel* you are to his defenseless childhood friend, he'll want nothing to do with you. And he'll be mine to fuck and own as I please."
Mammon gritted his teeth and ground out "Making MC think his mother was gravely ill just to get close to him when he's vulnerable? You're disgusting. I actually care about MC, and I respect them more than you ever will."
The incubus snorted, and raised the knife.
"Oi! What do ya think you're doing with that?" Mammon yelled
He raised the knife....and slashed it across his own arm
He then threw the knife towards Mammon, threw himself to the ground, and yelled out in pain
Suddenly, MC burst into the room
Mammon sputtered out a panicked explanation, but MC cut him off with a stare
He kneeled down next to his friend, who reached up with a bloody hand to cup MC'S face
MC put his hand over the incubus's....and sharply bent it backwards
He leaned down and whispered into his ear: "I heard everything, you little shit. Now, get the FUCK out of my house and away from my boyfriend, and don't even THINK of defiling my life with your presence ever again"
After he left, Mammon cautiously said "boyfriend, huh..?"
"Shut up mammon"
Levi
Oh, this won't do
Immediately feels threatened and triggered
He is the avatar of Envy, after all
His response?
Prove to MC nobody can know him as well as he can
He does this every single time the incubus is near
"MC, I got you your favorite drink!"
"MC, I ordered you some food. Don't worry, I already know what you like"
Flinches whenever the incu-bitch touches MC. It literally makes him cringe
His suspicions are confirmed when the incubus shoots Levi a malicious glance next time he touches MC
Levi snaps
Challenges the incubus to a video game duel
He surprisingly accepts
He cheats like hell and beats Levi
Levi goes into his demon form and rages
But MC thinks he's just being a sore loser
He tells Levi to back off and to go cool down
Once Levi storms off, the incu-bitch thanks MC for standing up for him
Then, he promptly tries to make a move on MC
He reaches out a hand to unbutton MC'S shirt
MC slaps his hand away, but not before noticing writing on the Incubus's hand
Before he can pull away, MC snatches his hand and sees cheat codes written on them
Gets super upset and tries to get up to apologize to Levi
The incubus pulls him back down by his wrist and pins them to the couch
"MC, don't you realize? You're all I want, all I need. I WORSHIP you, MC. And you're going to be mine. Nobody else can have you. And you're going to love me, whether you realize it right now or not. You'll learn with time to need me just as desperately as I need you"
Starts to take off MC'S clothes in spite of their fighting and protests, the incubus shushing him
"Shhhh, I know you don't see it, but this will make you see."
Levi slams open the door, tail lashing and face white with rage
"Get your normie hands the fuck off of my human. Now."
The incubus nopes the fuck out. He may be a high ranking incubus, but he still isn't as strong as one of the seven demon brothers.
Levi holds MC tightly as they fumble over an apology
"Shhh MC, its okay. I'm here now. Let's watch some anime and calm down together, yea?"
Satan
Do I even have to explain this one?
Is hostile as soon as MC even MENTIONS a childhood male friend, let alone an INCUBUS
Honestly, the Incubus is a bit scared of Satan
But, he decides he wants MC more than he fears Satan
So, he swallows his fear and patronizes Satan in tiny, unremarkable ways
Ways that would only be noticed by Satan
A stray hand here and there that lingers a LITTLE too long
Wiping a crumb from MC'S lips during a meal
Tucking a stray hair behind MC'S ear
Every last one of these actions makes his blood boil
It gets so bad that Satan is just in a perpetual state of rage, never leaving his demon form
Satan starts passive aggressively insulting the incubus's intelligence
"Oh, you mean you don't know how disestablishmentarianism impacted the overall congruence of Midwest society? Thats odd, its fairly simple. Practically common sense."
Is shocked when MC got livid at him, because he was being condescending for seemingly no reason
Starts to get angry at MC
"Can't you see? He's trying to turn you against me. Just LISTEN, DAMNIT!" He says as he grabs MC'S shoulders
The incubus barges in and shoves Satan away from MC
"Are you ok, MC? Did he hurt you?"
The amount of white hot rage in the room was tangible
He can't do it anymore
Slams the incubus against the wall
Knocks him to the ground
But when he falls down
A bunch of photos fall out of his jacket
Not normal photos
Horrifying ones
One of MC while he showers
One of MC sleeping
One of MC changing
Even one of MC and Satan having a steamy moment
MC goes still...and then SLAPS the shit out of the incubus.
He wordlessly turns to Satan, eyes pleading
"It would be my pleasure, MC" *evil grin*
Cue Satan dragging the incubus off by his hair
Asmo
P A S S I V E A G R E S S I V E
He sees this lovely incubus with NEARLY perfect hair, a lithe and toned body, and a seemingly innocent attitude, and he just wants him gone
He's been with plenty of Incubi, so he knows what they're like
Because of this, he doesn't want this one anywhere NEAR his darling MC
Comes up with a plan to use all his fashion design connections to outdress the incubus
He knows they're vain by nature, so he comes to the conclusion that this is the best course of action
But there's a problem
"Is that a statement piece from Priya Lacroix? She hasn't even released her collection yet"
Asmo.exe is not responding
He knows that HE is the only one Priya would ever give an early release to
So why does THE INCUBUS have her statement piece?
And WHERE is his phone?
Complains to MC, but MC doesn't take him seriously because he's too busy catching up with his friend
Asmo gets jealous and storms off to do a stress relieving skin routine
As MC and the incubus hang out, the incubus's phone goes off
Only...the ringtone is sinful indulgence
Mammon storms into the room
"AHA! I FOUND YA ASMO, YOU ANNOYING LITTLE- huh?"
"I/N? Why do you have Asmo's phone?"
"MC, you have to understand, I just want you to realize I'm the only right one for you. You NEED to realize you can't be with anyone else. Because you're mine, MC. You always have been."
Screeching could be heard in the distance, then footsteps quickly getting closer and closer
"THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY" Asmo yells as he slams open the door
"As if MC would choose a crusty, obsessive, STEALING, lying, probably STD having Incubus like you over me! Now give me my phone back and get out of here. And while you're at it, take off that Priya piece. There's a reason I'm the only one allowed early access."
Beel
Honestly doesn't think that much of it at first
He thinks its nice MC reunited with one of his childhood friends, and an Incubus at that
But when he meets the friend, something just feels off
He gets a weird sensation, and its not hunger
Its like his senses are on red alert
The incubus was nice enough to Beel, seemingly charming and genuine
But Beel couldn't help but feel rubbed the wrong way, with a sensation similar to seaweed against legs in the ocean
He doesn't want to mention this to MC, because he's convinced he's just overreacting
He feels a little sad that MC is too busy for him, but he does his best to give them time together
One night, he had made some food in the kitchen and decided to bring MC and I/N some
When he neared the door, he almost dropped the plate
He heard a loud thud, and MC saying "Hey, I said no, okay?"
He gently opened the door and looked at MC, who immediately forced a smile to his face
"Hey MC, I brought you guys some food. Is everything ok?"
"Thanks Beel, that's sweet of you. Everything's fine, I promise"
Beel relaxed a bit, although he still knew something was off.
The incubus excused himself to use the restroom, encouraging MC to eat without him
Beel and MC sat down, and Beel scarfed down his portion
Chuckling, MC offered his plate to Beel, who gladly accepted
The incubus opened the door shortly after with an expectant look on his face, as well as rope and a gag in his hands
Upon laying eyes on MC, a shocked expression came onto his face as his eyes darted between MC and the empty plate
"How are you still conscious?" He blurted
Confusion flashed across MC'S face. "What do you mean, I/N?"
"You drugged it, didn't you?" Beel spoke up.
"I thought it tasted odd," Beel continued "but I never would have guessed you would actually drug MC. I'm guessing you couldn't handle that MC rejected your advances, so you drugged the food while MC was distracted talking to me. Am I right?"
The incubus chuckled. "Guess I was wrong about you. You are more of a threat than you seem. Heh, I guess you're not just a talking stomach after all."
A loud smack could be heard shortly thereafter.
But the devastating blow didn't come from Beel
It came from an enraged MC
"Trying to drug me I could keep my cool over. If thats all you did I would have just told you to stay the hell away from me. But the SECOND you spoke to Beel like that, you signed your own death warrant."
Before he could react, MC summoned the brothers one by one, Beel explaining the situation.
"Well, MC, perfect timing as always. I was just beginning to get bored" Satan drawled
*screams*
Belphie
It takes a yandere to know one
Belphie doesn't want to alarm MC though, so he decides to outmaneuver the incubus without him noticing
It starts small, with I/N reaching out to put an arm over MC'S shoulder, and Belphie's arm already being there
Eventually, they start glaring daggers at each other the second MC looks away
After a while, Belphie decides to up the ante
Religiously falls asleep on MC when I/N is trying to spend time with him
Goads the incubus so much that he corners Belphie when he snaps and can't take any more
"Listen, I know exactly what you're doing. But if you think that YOU can take him away from me, you're sorely mistaken. MC is mine whether he likes it or not. And if it turns out to be the latter, well, let's just say he won't have much of a choice in the matter, nor will you have any control over it. Got that?"
Belphie does the one thing he knows will get the outcome he had painstakingly built up to the past couple weeks: he laughs
"Ah, you have a good sense of humor, know that? Funny stuff. All kidding aside, MC already belongs to me. So your child's play isn't gonna cut it. Got THAT?"
With a choked cry of fury, the incubus pulls out a knife and stabs Belphie
Belphie, having planned this, falls to the floor just as the door opens to reveal a shocked MC.
"BELPHIE! Shit, please be okay! What the FUCK is wrong with you, I/N?"
The stunned Incubus could only stammer out a couple words
"I- he...was gonna...tried to take what was mine. Tried to take you..."
MC laughed bitterly and shoved him to the floor.
"I don't know what sick world you're living in, but I belong to Belphie. I love him. And I hate YOU. Now I'll leave you be so you can deal with THAT. Ta ta." He says as he scoops up Belphie and heads out the door
"Deal with what?" I/N nervously asks after him, backing up warily
The incubus stops when his back hits something hard.
Gulping, he looks up...
"Hello, I/N, I'm Beel."
"Nice to...meet you? I imagine you're one of the brothers?" He replies shakily
Beel smiles. The light doesn't reach his eyes.
"Yes, I'm one of the brothers. You see, I'm Belphie's twin."
Across the house, Belphie smiles at the faint screams, MC curled up next to him after patching him up.
He succeeded in protecting what was his. He deserves a good nap. Holding MC tighter, he goes back to sleep.
#obey me#obey me headcanons#beel obey me#leviathanobeyme#lucifer obey me#mammon obey me#yandere#yandere belphie#asmo obey me#obey me asks
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ok here is my jojoposting masterpost part1! already seen everything in the manga but it was a while ago (like 1 and a half years) so i might've forgotten stuff, i'm noting other things as well! i get really hyped so i might lose my sanity and act more hyper and childish than usual so yeah. so cringe warning i guess :/
part 1 i guess, featuring episodes 13-14
araki you really gonna make ur florida prison guards look like that huh...
!!!!!!!! THEY CHANGED THE ENDING OF THE INTRO!!!!!!!! NOW JOLYNE LEANS AGAINST JOTARO'S BACK!!!!!!! AND THE FROGS AND THE DOVE!!!! AND THEY DON'T SHOW IT BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THE POSE JOLYNE DOES WHILE HOPPING ON JOTAROS BACK IS BASED ON THIS THIS
OUGHHH THE 3D PENS WHILE 2D ERMES JUST VIBES THERE... YES...
I FORGOT THIS WAS ERMES AND PUCCIS FIRST INTERACTION... OHHH NOOOO....
FOOF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE'S HERE!!!!!!!!!!!! FOOF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
'i feel like others don't accept me here' girl you are plankton. BUT ALSO JOLYNE DEFENDING HER BESTIE... SLAY...
foof i love you so much but this is NOT how you do things girl. eating rice and eating food with your left hand even tho your body is right handed and wants bread is NOT going to help you fit in with society.
omg foof loving salmon because she's plankton... I CAN'T I LOVE HER...
I CANT HANDLE THIS why is she dragging people INTO the line I DONT REMEMBER THIS I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE'S TRYING SO HARD- OH WAIT NOW THEY'RE ALL ARGUING GOOD JOB FOOF GRAB THE FOOD AND RUN
jolyne sounds so offended at the fact that ermes is stalking a man. like girl are you jealous. you fucking lesbian
oh my god yes ermes backstory! i remember this! man.
man ermes really out there tryina go to college...
GLORIA WAS SUCH A GIRLBOSS ACTUALLY... AGHGHHGH... :(
oh i hope this fucker burns in hell
dude the photos... thats so fucking creepy but also a good tactic...
holy shit ermes on full genocide mode
oh shit.
oh shit she fucked up
oh shit
i forgot about this stand jesus fucking christ i hate it.
NOOO THEY CHANGED IT IT'S NOT CALLED FLACCID PANCAKE ANYMORE?!?!?!??!?!? WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
girlie this is a two parter this ain't over yet
oh shit it ate mickey mouse
dude this is so fucking creepy. invisible corpses attacking you? like what the fuck
i love how when most people lose their leg it's like oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ough!!!!! uauhgughuh!!!!!!! but since foof is plankton she's like damn. why did you have to do that >:T
VIBE TO THE INTRO TIME!!!!!!!!!
OH I MISSED THE FACT THAT IN THE INTRO JOLYNE IS NOW RUNNING ON THE WATER WITH HER STRING... FUCKING AWESOME...
no yeah she's 100% doing that pose with jotaro
jolyne's smart as her father as always...
'an invisible corpse has no concept of up or down' YEAH UH NO SHIT. DID YOU THINK INVISIBLE CORPSES WOULD OBEY THE LAWS OF PHYSICS???
OHHHHHHHHHHHH GO FOOF POP OFF!!! SHOOT YOUR HAND TURNED INTO A GUN!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE AWKWARD THUMBS UP EVERYONE GIVES EACH OTHER... man...
dude foof is such a great medic. like imagine being glued back together by plankton. that's so fucking awesome
OHHH FUCKING. DIO'S BONE. THAT'S RIGHT I REMEMBER
OHHH WAIT HE'S DEAD EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T REALISE IT... THAT'S SO COOL ACTUALLY. OF COURSE!!!!!! BECAUSE HIS STAND POWER IS CONTROLLING INVISIBLE CORPSES SO HE DOESN'T REALISE HE DIED... THAT'S SO EPIC...
no that's so funny this bitch doesn't realise this guy is unconscious and being controlled by an invisible ghost... damn...
AND THERE'S THE REALISATION THAT HE'S DEAD... MY GOD
oh this man is fucked up. ough he really is a zombie. fucking eating brains
i literally DO NOT remember this WHAT
THIS IS SO COOOOOOL
dude he's dead of course he can bite the shit out of someone without consequence
FUCK
oh that stand catch is epic
ermes let your bestie help. come ON
NONONONONONO FUCK WHy are they HERE fUCK
GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!
'revenge is the way to settle the score with my fate' my god. she's so awesome
WHERE did your medic go. like maybe i lost track but where tf is foof
OH GOD SHE DED
nevermind
oh i LOVE how the copied head doesn't follow the real heda's facial features... oh god...
speechless im just watching this battle in awe of ermes. holy shit what a girlboss
korebo might as well be her stand cry now /j
im clapping. you cant tell but im clapping
jolyne just sat there the whole time like What the Fuck did I just watch
OHHHHH GOD
THERE'S THE MEDIC. FOOF HELP YOU MISSED OUT
why do they show the to be continued AFTER the credits. man
leaving it at here because i have too much to say and there are too many episodes and i don't have time to watch any more tonight but holy Shit AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#termina rambles#long post#jjba spoilers#stone ocean#jjba#Jojo's Bizarre Adventure
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oh gosh this is like the fourth ask ive sent you in maybe a few hours, but now im wondering how bronte was treated when he manifested as an inflictor. like. from what we know, there have been no other inflictors before or after bronte (until sophie) and like. it mustve been...pretty wild to develop an ability whose sole purpose is to hurt and inflict pain onto others in a society that is completely averse to violence.
and also i had a though recently- what if elves werent always averse to violence? weve had hints dropped that elves have done some pretty wild shit (i think theres a mention in a book somewhere that insinuates elves have a lot of power and have used it in battles before) and now im wondering if the damage caused by elven abilities getting out of hand led to the matchmaking system (in the way that the matchmaking would ensure that the "no violence" gene passed onto more people- and maybe it was even entirely artificial?) although im not too sure about that one.
BUT BACK TO BRONTE, i find it really interesting since like...i mean, people mustve done some studies on him, right? like, theyre not just gonna let a threat....wander around or something. especially depending on the age he manifested (and i dont think sophie unnaturally manifested her inflicting, so it seems to be brought upon by emotion and stress, which means that he couldve manifested at like. literally any age. i mean sophie was, what, really young? idk where im going with this since sophie's inflicting is artificial but yeah) so im just. what did they do????? i mean, there had to be something bronte was basing his lessons for sophie off of, so im assuming either he or others did some looking into how inflicting works, but honestly all the scenarios i can think of for that are. uh. kinda really awful?
idk where im going with this but. yeah. huh. thats a weird thing to think about. and something were never getting answers to. thats fun.
- pyro
(also it is very late so apologies for any misspellings and stuff!)
welcome back, pyro my beloved!! you're welcome to send as many asks as you want whenever you want--your insights are always fascinating
i feel like inflictors and mesmers might be treated similarly in elven society--grady did mention an interaction he had with Bronte where he received some advice about his ability once--because they hold a certain level of coercive power over others. it's like they're treated like a threat just because they have the potential to be one. the same way people assume grady mesmerizes others to get whatever he wants, they may assume Bronte would hurt anyone who doesn't give him what he wants, if that comparison makes sense
as for him being the only inflictor, we're left with the option that either he really is the only one, or there was someone else once who has since bit the dust, kicked the bucket, flown to close to the sun, some other strange idiom for dying. both have a lot of negative implications, but I'm gonna stick with the "he's the first and only" one for rn.
also, you're idea about elves not always being averse to violence prompts a lot of thought! what were they like before that? were there more volatile, destructive abilities? what was the world like back then that necessitated those abilities? what happened to those people and their abilities--i'm assuming they're dead now. and since elves are now averse to violence, those abilities are like dead abilities (like dead languages), as no one has them and no one will have them ever again. they're bodies couldn't handle it anymore.
kinda ties into the idea of matchmaking--although instead of the "no violence" gene I think they might've also tried to specifically keep the really powerful abilities from being passed on, things like Bronte's inflicting that appeared to be rooted entirely in violence. or! idea: what if there was something so horrific that happened as a result of elven violence that it permanently changed how they perceive it, becoming an instinctual need to get away from it. my brain is trying to relate this to the uncanny valley effect, like how it's this instinctual discomfort.
if i'm remembering correctly, sophie naturally manifested her inflicting when she was nine, so as long as bronte was stressed enough--and he wasn't living during a time of peace. i don't think the treaties had been established yet--he could reasonably manifest even younger. and this is an ability no one has seen before! here is this elven child, this small kid, just absolutely loosing it and hurting everyone around him. i think the only way Forkle got Sophie to stop was by inflicting back on her, but there wouldn't have been anyone able to do that for Bronte. I can't imagine he likes his ability, every time he's used it it's hurt someone. it was probably trial and error to teach him, maybe even him just abandoning what others were saying--because no one else had a violent ability and could understand--and just figured it out on his own. i'm fairly sure the knot of threads under the ribs trick Sophie uses is one Bronte developed himself, so I've just always thought he was using personal experience to teach her.
i also don't know where I'm going with this, but bronte as a whole is a very interesting character! there's so much about his backstory we don't know and probably never will. just inflicting as a whole stands out as an ability because it just doesn't make sense for an elf to have. if i don't stop now i never will, but those are some of my Thoughts !!
#the elves said they demonstrated power through their wealth essentially i think#that's what oblivimire was for (i don't think i spelled that right)#both through the threatening outward appearance and whatever they kept inside#maybe people#but i think the idea of powerful elves is also intriguing#oh that reminds me of vespera. what if the powerful elves were just elves gone wrong?#there's so much to that too#pyro you are excellent#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#long post#quil's queries#pyrokinetic-loser#councillor bronte
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tales from the smp: the village that went mad ft. salt losing his goddamn mind
“im jack. and. im a farm person, and i like p o t a t o e s”
starting the stream well i see. ponk coming in with generic potato boy and i love him for it
=
QUACKITY
QUACKITY
“my name is helga, wife of badboyhalo” QUACKITY
=
karl: “bad, explain your character other than person that beats up their wife”
bad, immediately: “well, i do declare that my name is jimmy and im the mayor of this town”
and then bbh just fucking starts spinning around when hes asked what the name of this town is, theres a pause, and then he fucking hits us with “not a very good town, town” like BAD
this is why i love this man
this is why i fux with this man
he is unparalleled
=
but as much as i love bbh and would literally murder god for him, he still canNOT match the quiet theatricality of mr corpsehusband saying “im gonna turn around and itll all make sense” and then he has a fucking CAT TAIL
corpse “choke me like you hate me” husband is a fucking CATBOY ladies and gentlemen
hes a fucking catboy which further proves something which we already knew was true all along: furries exist in minecraft and are, in fact, accepted in society and treated no less differently than humans
this is why fundy and antfrost can just walk around without anyone telling them shit
this is why wilbur can fuck a salmon
corpse “catboi” husband paved the fucking road and drove down in a custom vintage jaguar so every other furry on the smp could fucking drive behind him in a second hand porsche
i salute you mr corpsehusband
truly amazing
=
miles memeington, connoisseur of steak and bob, “bob the builder” need no explanation
=
CORNELIUS COMING IN WITH THE BRIGHTASS NEON GREEN BODYSUIT EVERYBODY
GIVE IT UP FOR CORNELIUS
BEST RPER ON THE ENTIRE SMP
CORNELIUS GREENBODYSUIT EVERYONE
=
tubbo with the very cute ‘i am robin, i am an orphan child” being IMMEDIATELY ruined by karl sayin
“dont let technoblade hear about that”
i love this already
i love this already
feed me technoblade lore. the man never fucking uploads so i have to get content adjacent to him
i wanna hear about technoblade the orphan killer. i want that backstory lore
and also i wanna protect robin the orphan boy because hello???????????
that skin???????
let me adopt you mr orphan boy
=
i love quackity just very casually going “my husband and i had intercourse” at the fucking TOWN MEETING BY THE WELL
truly
quackity’s comedy is unmatched
“hes into lots of weird stuff. he taught me this one thing called dunderhead”
and IMMEDIATELY someone (cant tell who, i have auditory processin issues) fucking goes “i DO NOT know this woman” and tbh if i were in that fucking town hall listening to my fucking weirdass neighbour casually lay out all her family secrets, id fucking say that shit too. id fucking disown this bitch as my neighbour. id fucking pretend she doesnt exist
like
imagine your fucking next door neighbour siddling up to you in the fucking w*lmart while youre just minding your own goddamn business trying to buy a fucking banana and your next door neighbour helga is dressed in a fucking bikini going “my husband fucked me so hard i couldnt walk” and even though you are clearly not interested and trying desperately to get away from her and her wackass gossip, helga goes ahead and fucking LISTS OUT HER HUSBANDS KINKS IN THE FUCKING FRUIT AISLE AT FULL VOLUME
id die
id just fucking die
id uninstall life right then and there
id pack my fucking bags and take a fucking extended vacation to guatemala and never return. id fucking change my goddamn name just to ensure that people never associate me with this woman.
thats what quackity is doing and i am very thankful this man exists and has given us the treasure that is helga
=
cOuLd iT Be iN ThE nAMe oF SaTaN???????? 🤔
karl
bruh
bustin out the fucking OLD conspiracies huh
“or could it be in the name of content on karls stream”
and hes just casually breaking the 4th wall too huh
kinda stealing techno “ill read donations in the middle of rp bc i need a distraction” blade’s go-to method there huh
its fucking funny tho. hes narrating this all serious-like but then he just goes “content on my stream uwu” and unrepentantly shatters that suspension of disbelief (in a good way)
but it wouldnt even matter bc apparently, satan and karls content have no difference
=
does protection exist in the smp? im worried for helgas health
the woman visited 3 different fucking houses in one night
=
i love how the rp just stops dead in its tracks around the campfire
no one was using any of the names
corpse was out here calling everyone by their actual names and not the names of their characters
=
this might just be bc im a pathological liar whos seen and heard shit but
i love him but
i mean
bbh cant lie
the man cannot lie
his voice is off, pitch wrong, tone sus
he is deffo a murderer
being accused of something hes not would make a person defensive/angry and bbh is not either
the man is LYING
and his argument/defense was LITERALLY tubbos
man cant lie
send this murderer to hell
=
tubbo can lie, but imo hes not. his voice is the voice of a person whos telling the truth
man is legit the doctor
a doctor who chose to fucking lay on the LORE
father killed in the red-eyed village wars????? mother taken from a young age?
motherfucker brought the LORE
motherfucker brought the SOB STORY
motherfucker legit said “here is my canonical in-character reason for being a doctor fuck you”
and honestly
what is bads defense?
karl asked if the town should kill an orphan over a mayor and there is legit no right answer to that
there is no good rebuttal
so bad straight went “you make a great point. just execute me”
amazing
10/10
=
idk who said it but “orphans just suck up resources” whoever you are i love you
i was eating my chips in peace but then i almost choked
thank
=
I FUCKING KNEW TUBBO WASNT THE MURDERER
his voice did not match
=
my bets on fucking ponk
=
its fucking DREAM
DREAM MURDERER
my respect for this man
motherfucker
shouldve known
he was kinda quiet at first but then he suddenly started talking a lot
son of a BITCH
gg dream
=
round 1 wasnt very rp heavy but
i can excuse that
=
who in the FUCK is making choking donald duck noises
who
bbh got a new skin cool
WHO IS MAKING THE CHOKING DONALD DUCK NOISES
=
corpse, about dreams death: “they killed him in front of me”
the town: “who was it corpse?”
ladies and gentlemen corpse, without a moments hesitation: “im also blind”
=
so the murderer is deffo not corpse. deffo not tubbo. probably not lazarbeam probably not bbh
that leaves quackity, george, and ponk
=
MY PARTNER WAS KILLED
MY PARTNER WAS KILLED
i knew corpse was a catboi but i didnt know that mr dream “i went on a date and almost married a fox” wastaken partnered with a fucking catboy
what is this
dnf is out, dream corpse is in /j
bruh
MY PARTNER WAS KILLED
bro
the tragedy
=
CALM DOWN WENCH THE BOY DID NOTHIGN
CORPSE
CORPSE
STOP
CORPSE
standing up for tubbo like that
corpse
please
my heart cannot handle this
=
okay so its deffo not corpse and tubbo. most likely not quackity after that fucking disaster at the campfire. probably not lazarbeam or bbh. still think its george and ponk
=
CORPSE
he got executed trying to console tubbo who legit WENT IN THE PRISON TRYING TO LOOK FOR HIM
BRUH
WHAT THE FUCK
=
TUBBO
no
TUBBO
technically its robin but
TUBBO
he lost his father so quick what the FUCK
i will murder god for robin
the little shaking head he does after corpse got killed. going completely silent as he lost the one family he had left.
bruh
robin bby no
=
I KNEW HE WASNT THE MURDERER
tubbo
im sorry
=
I KNEW IT WAS PONK
was wrong about lazarbeam/george tho
=
bruh
what the fuck
tubbo/robin honey i am so so sorry
catboi corpse i am so so sorry
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fuckin rambling about jamie & gender at 2:30 am bc im mentally ill
i always think about nb jamie but probably bc im projecting but isnt that what fiction is for anyways?? i wanna talk about she/they jamie slash why she kind of is nb but also is into she/her nbism bc she fought so hard to be a woman tbh
i think shes rly proud of being a woman in a feminist way and in a lesbian way. the way her brother blamed the women in the family for their problems. being dehumanized/defeminized in prison. being a woman doing physical labour. being a masc woman. the community of women she was most likely around in london when she was struggling to survive. finding safety in other women. finding pride in being one of them, in loving them. the world wanted her to be ashamed of being a woman, and a woman who likes women, and she fought so hard against that to stand her ground and be exactly that.
but she is so... idk, not defined by her gender? shes like Not A Girl. politically a woman. maybe im projecting but its how i feel too. ur adling along being genderless and suddenly ur up against men and heteronormative society and you want to oppose it and stand up and say im a woman what are you gonna do about it???? yeah i can look like this and act like this and deeply threaten your masculinity for reasons you cant grasp and then shove my womanhood in your face about it, and you cant even have me the way u want to have other women, nor do you want me. you cant figure out how to dominate me because im not really a woman, but making you perceive me as a woman fucks you up harder.
thats so powerful. i think thats so jamie.
we get so much of jamies head and heart but we dont get anything in relation to her body or her sexuality which is so interesting.
with dani we tackle her sexuality and femininity head on, she expresses her gender in a feminine way.
we get none of that with jamie because honestly when she's dealing what she's dealing with in the present of the show, it doesnt matter. only matters up against peter. and with her back story.
we dont know her relationship with her body and physical gender and sexuality in that way. and i suppose thats to say its not important to her. she doesnt really pay it any mind. which is why she wouldnt actively go by she/they or seek it out. but if she happened upon it she'd be like oh yeah i suppose thats me, huh. and then move on. doesnt change anything for her.
and i can sculpt this entire complex JAMIE out of all this, and obviously it doesnt matter, but the only piece i have no clue about right now is her dynamic w sex. i just find it interesting to dig into a character through every aspect, see them through every lens.
i think she likes it. she was SO intense in that first make out with dani it was kind of beautiful. she is so much.
yeah i suppose shes as sexual as anyone else. probably vanilla honestly. she likes boring.
i like the idea in fics that she's talkative. it fits. she talks a lot when she feels safe around someone or when she cares about something a lot. shes good at talking. shes also good at listening.
anyways in conclusion im in love with her what else is new
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Kaer Morhen shenanigans (but mostly Lambert’s) part 6
.
Here is: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 and Daily Lambert
also Keira & Lambert’s love story, Aiden & Lambert’s love story and… this.
.
Lambert: I need an adult.
Eskel: You ARE an adult.
Geralt: Eskel now you have exaggerated.
***
Vesemir: I love you son.
Lambert: Unrealistic. Unbelievable. Lies. False.
***
Vesemir: Lambert! Don’t make me come over there and be a parent!
Lambert: FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING, HUH?!
Berengar: BUUURN!
***
Vesemir, a tired dad, trying to teach the next witcher generation: Okay, let’s try this one last time. Forest, corpses everywhere, Leshen attack. What do you do?
Geralt:
Eskel: …
Lambert: Call the witche-
Vesemir: YOU ARE THE WITCHERS!
*later*
Vesemir: *launches the witchers into Leshen’s forest*
Eskel: Vesemir, where is the rest of the guys?
Vesemir: I'll tell you where they're not... safe.
*in the forest*
Geralt, fighting with Leshen: Lambert, quick, think! What would Vesemir do in this situation?!
Imaginary Vesemir in Lambert’s head: *walks away* Bye, Lambert!
Lambert: I'm beginning to think I have issues.
Geralt: *fighting* Lambert, support!
Lambert: Well your hair looks terrific. Grey is a lovely color on you. And frankly, you're the only one on this team I can rely on.
Geralt: I meant hit him!!!
*after defeating Leshen*
Geralt: Luckily all that violence and gore had no disturbing side-effects on our decent childhoods-
Lambert: *quartering Leshen while drinking blood from it’s skull*
Geralt: ...
Lambert: I'm sorry, I have to do that every twelve minutes.
Vesemir: I’ve never felt such an odd mixture of pride and mortal terror.
***
Eskel: Hey, Lambert, how are things going with Vesemir?
Lambert: I dunno, lets see. HEY DAD, YOU WANT TO TRAIN WITH ME!?
Vesemir: *in the distance* FUCK OFF!
Lambert: Why are you acting like this? I’m your son!
Vesemir: Yeah and are you as disappointed as I am?
Eskel: Wow, you are just the Grand Central Station of disappointment for him, aren't you?”
Lambert: Yup. Thats me.
***
Vesemir: Lambert, if I die before you, I want you to lower me into my grave.
Lambert: Aw, da-
Vesemir: So you can let me down one last time.
Lambert:
Lambert: Eskel, do me a favour, if I die before him, cremate me and throw my ashes in Vesemir’s face.
***
Eskel: Don't you miss the vivid imagination of childhood?
Lambert: I never had one.
Berengar: An imagination or a childhood?
Lambert: ...
Geralt, mockingly: Oh, what, not gonna tell us your tragic backstory? I thought you loved to talk about that shit.
Lambert, completely deadpan: If I felt like talking about my childhood trauma, I'd go to therapy. Murder is way less emotionally taxing.
Eskel: ... I can't tell if your childhood was that fucked up, or you're just okay with killing people.
Lambert: It's less of an 'or' and more of a 'one lead to the other'.
***
Eskel: Lambert! Are you drinking again?
Lambert: Yep.
Eskel: You said no more alcohol!
Lambert: I said “no, more alcohol”.
Eskel: Do you live in your own little world?
Lambert: Yes. But unfortunately I have to share it with all of you.
***
Lambert, drunk as shit: Give me my sword!
Geralt, also drunk, handing him a plastic butter knife: Here you are, my liege.
Lambert: Thank you, peasant.
Lambert, pointing the knife at Eskel: SURRENDER OR FACE MY WRATH.
Eskel, late and sober: Are... Are you kidding? You’re joking right-
Geralt: DO NOT INSULT M’LORD.
***
Lambert: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?
Berengar: You're a hazard to society.
Geralt: And a coward, do twenty!
Eskel, to Berengar: Have you ever just looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead?
Berengar: Everytime I look at these two.
***
Geralt: Taco cat spelled backwards is still taco cat.
Eskel: I don’t know what to do with this information.
Lambert: Dog food lid spelled backwards is dildo of god.
Eskel: I don’t know what to do with this information either.
Berengar: Crack? Is that what you two smoke? Do you smoke crack?
***
Lambert: *does something selfless without making a joke of it and genuinely being nice*
Eskel: So you do have feelings after all?
Lambert: *shrugging* When I have the time.
***
Geralt: They call me coffee because I grind so fine.
Eskel: Oh my God.
Berengar: They call me coffee because I keep you up past 2 a.m.
Eskel: Stop.
Lambert: They call me coffee-
Eskel: Please don’t.
Lambert: -because I’m dark and bitter and most people don’t like me without changing some aspect of who I am.
Eskel: Oh.
Lambert: Sorry, thats just my train of thought.
Geralt: Or as we like to call it-
Berengar: The Anxiety Express. Don't worry, I have one of these too. I thought I was in a bad mood, but it’s been a few years now. So I guess this is just who I am now.
Eskel: Am I the only normal child here?
***
Berengar: Being a pessimist is great. I'm always either right or pleasantly surprised.
Eskel: That’s an awfully optimistic take on pessimism.
***
Lambert: Oh, are you *covers Eskel’s ears* kidding me?
Berengar: That... wasn’t a swear word.
Lambert: It’s not? *sighs* Ah, shit! I swear so much, I don’t even fucking know the difference anymore!
***
Berengar: At my age, do you know how I’m statistically most likely to die?
Geralt: At the hands of your brother?
Berengar: An accident.
Geralt: That’s how I’m going to make it look.
Berengar: You can’t kill me if I kill myself first.
Vesemir: WHAT KIND OF LOGIC IS THAT?!
Geralt: Actually, yours.
***
Geralt: Has anyone ever told you to keep your damn mouth shut?
Lambert: Everyone. All the time.
***
Lambert, drunk: Hold on! I’m having one of those things… a headache with pictures?
Berengar: What the fuck?
Eskel: He's having an idea.
***
Geralt: *Can’t find Lambert in a crowd* Shit, we lost him.
Eskel: This calls for drastic measures.
Eskel: VESEMIR IS A GREAT FATHER!
Lambert: WHAT?!?!!
Eskel: There he is.
*meanwhile*
Berengar: Excuse me. I lost my youngers brothers, in a crowd. Can I make an announcement?
Store Clerk: Of course.
Berengar: *leans into mic*
Berengar: Goodbye, you little shits.
*later*
Berengar: All in all, a 100% successful trip.
Vesemir: Berengar, you lost all your brothers!
Berengar: All in all, a 100% successful trip.
Vesemir: Prepare to feel really bad about yourself!
Berengar: Oh yeah? I’ve been prepared for that my whole life.
***
Vesemir: There will come a moment when you have the chance to do the right thing.
Berengar: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.
Vesemir: There are always lessons in failures...
Berengar: Ah, yes, this must be why you are very wise by now.
Vesemir: Yup, I have four of you.
***
Lambert: *throws open balcony doors at 6am*
Lambert: GOOD MORNING WORLD!
Berengar *from the lower balcony* Shut the fuck up!!!
Lambert: YOUR LITTLE RAY OF SARCASTIC SUNSHINE HAS ARRIVED!
Berengar: Lambert, let me ask you a question.
Lambert: Shoot.
Berengar: Is there any part of “shut the fuck up” that you don’t understand? 'Cause I’d be happy to explain it to you.
.
#witcher#witcher 3#witcher 3 wild hunt#tw3#kaer morhen#kaer morhen shenaningans#lambert#witcher lambert#geralt of rivia#geralt z rivii#eskel#witcher eskel#berengar#witcher berengar#vesemir#witcher vesemir#wiedźmin#wiedźmin 3#wiedźmin 3 dziki gon#dziki gon#incorrect witcher quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect witcher
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damn allowed myself to want things for a day and all i want is a van to live in, knowledge, freedom, weight loss, and a bass guitar.
im. happy with that i think. im proud of me, no jokes. im proud of being able to want things and care about them and vibrate towards them with longing. im... pleased with that. its fulfilling in a way Not Wanting For Anything isnt, because thats... kinda hollow. empty. in a vacant, lonely, yearning and grieving and SAD way. maybe because i Couldnt Want then. i Couldnt Desire or it would be used against me or taken away. that sucks. that sucked.
and now. im free to want again. and comparatively???? i think im very much never going to aim for buddhism or that weird Not Desiring Not Attached Nirvana mindset. like good for u but been there out of trauma and its not fun theres no reason to truly Live. u just float endlessly and experience and it aches so badly!!!! it hurts to want to want and not be able to. and i guess that is different from not wanting at all but... its not different enough for me to justify ever going back to that. or going forward to that. i just got this back and screw enlightenment if it means i have to give up on my passions i dont think life is worth living without it.
and anybody who looks down on that from a spiritual tower has yet to examine their own pride and how empty they feel without it.
anybody who looks down and smiles and wishes me luck on my journey? good for them. im glad theyre living their best life, on their journey as they see fit.
and i feel the need to protect myself because ive been hurt by the pride- the arrogance of others before. a lot of my hurts and traumas stem from my mother being too prideful to recognize that she can be wrong and someone under her power could be correct over her. and it was an uncomfortable truth. so she denied it was one at all and hurt me. i know the reason could be elaborated on. she didnt want to confront her own internal logic. or trauma. or even doublethink. that doesnt excuse her hurting a child for the sake of her sense of pride, of comfort, of self-worth. a child under her power, that she claimed to be parent of. teacher of.
not owing anyone anything is not the same as not hurting anyone. i havent reconciled that yet. oppressors should be held accountable for their mistakes, and give reparations if the harm is physical at LEAST. and i think that applies to politics, yes. privately though? if i beat up a nazi, i dont want to pay for his hospital bills. my personal philosophy struggles between equating people and ideas as a worth measurement, and realizing that that line of thinking is... similar to oppressors. but. its based on something people can change. the question is, do i think "if given the opportunity" is a good enough reason to stop and question a racist that runs their mouth? and do i think pre-emptive violence is okay? if say, a nazi walks into a bar and doesnt say anything but is wearing all the red flags and bells and whistles. i dont think that justifies a beatdown. being asked to leave, sure, but the beatdown doesnt start til the first remark flies.
once the intent is given OR the action is taken, the line is drawn. doesnt matter if they Havent Had The Chance. if theyre starting shit outside of debate spaces like that, and not, say, asking questions, theyre not looking for new perspectives, and it is NOT my job to educate people. its not my job to Show People The Light. a quick fucking google search could tell them why theyre wrong. if they havent put even the most basic energy into questioning their beliefs, thats on them.
it sounds like im trying to absolve myself of blame here. largely because. i think i should go out and help educate people because theyre inherently complacent if theyre, yknow, in a position of power. aka white folk and men and rich folk and cis folk and on and on and on. these people dont live my reality. they dont live the reality of a gay black man in the south, or a genderqueer lesbian in the west, or an indigenous woman whose nation is being targeted, or a muslim woman who cannot wear her headcoverings in the face of danger of death, or an asian immigrant who cant get a job because of COVD age discrimination resurging. we will never live each others realities, but we can become aware of them.
they wont come into awareness without someone asking or telling, and then doing something to change them.
we shouldnt need to go running to people in power for them to be aware of problems in the populace, govt is supposed to help and solve issues like this. like. actively. thats the whole point, make life better for the countrys citizens. and individuals in a position of social power...
are individuals who didnt take on a responsibility to protect and serve or otherwise care for the populace of a nation. i personally think they SHOULD care, but they are not obligated to. i cant make them care about others.
and honestly, on some of them, it would be a waste of time. there are people who want to change or question things and yknow what? they seek out answers. in people or places or online usually. stats and stories.
so like. i dont think someones Potential as a person matters when theres a throwdown about to happen. it really isnt my responsibility to save people from themselves or try to change their sides against their will. if they want to chat about it they can ask questions first.
not throw insults or punches or hatred.
what people have been taught is worth analyzing and trying to correct IN SOCIETY but i cant fix every broken white boy that comes to me. PSAs, fliers, outreach, online videos, debate spaces. those are things i already have access to and can be a part of if i really want to go around changing minds. or yknow. get involved in legislation and be myself around others to change their perceptions of whats socially acceptable or normal. maybe protest, maybe call congressfolk, etc.
but not every comment has to be analyzed or a learning opportunity. im allowed to shut it down, and people can respect that or stop talking to me. this isnt my parents house where i had to justify everything that i said or did when scrutinized, and doubly justify any criticism i had of mother, or any joke i frowned at instead of smiling.
these people dont have that power over me. they arent my mother. they arent my boss, and if they are i can fuck off and get a new job if necessary. they dont have financial control over my living space and food and schooling and physical control of where i can go and with who and for how long. I CONTROL THAT. I do.
Huh. maybe thats why i want a van so bad. i mean... when this lease ends if nobody is gonna end up living with me...
i could just... live in my car and shower at truck stops. get a storage unit for my stuff. save by driving jobs. like 40 to 60 a day. tear out my cars back, insulate it, and install my mattress pad there. water on the floor, cooler next to it, wooden cutting coard, knife, single camping plateware set, and another little shelf for spices. maybe a hot plate i can hook up to the car battery? get a long enough usb and it might be doable. i could go camping and open the trunk to just... vibe.
because yeah, honestly? i dont plan on having a solid apartment for a bit. like a long bit. and i still have like 70000 miles on my car before itll want to go. and by that point, even at like 100 miles a day, thats like 2 years, less if i go cross country in that vehicle. i could save up SO MUCH for a better vehicle, or like. college. live on campus, get some credit, continue working after i figure out want i want to do.
i think thats a solid plan, even if i dont get another apartment and put everything in storage. work as i need to instead of all the time for rent, really only paying for gas, car repairs, car ins, food, and phone data/hotspot internet... that would bring my monthly expenses down to like 500 a month max instead of like 1400. id only need to make some 1000 a month doing contract stuff to save for taxes and stuff. anything extra would be just that: extra for savings and things. holy shit.
depending on how this next month goes for my friends, holy s h i t.
i. i might do this. legitimately.
i. dont think i can yet. i need proof of address to get my license im pretty sure? but hey, thatll be my 21st this year, so. once i have that i wont need a new address for a While. i dont know if ill want one, really.
i could always just ask a friend or family member if i could use theirs for mail that cant go to a PO box.
anyway. yeah. wow.
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Love Is Blind: Chapter Two
A: You know it really just sounds like your sister really cares about you
C: She does but she’s making this such a bigger deal than it needs to be. I just want to be able to sort my feelings out without feeling like I’m obligated to do something with them immediately
A: I know that feeling so well. My friend asked me if I was still in love with my ex and I don’t know how to answer her
C: I mean your relationship was unfinished so I could understand the possibility. No closure makes it feel like things never ended. They just stopped
A: you put it in much better words than I ever could.
C: Coming from an emotionally challenged man, sometimes the right thing doesn’t always feel right at the time. It hurts. Caring about anyone comes with that risk but sometimes you have to see it from their side before you can heal. People tend to enter situations expecting others to be like them and we hurt ourselves by doing that. Your ex may have loved you but he didn’t know how to love you anymore and felt it was better to let you go than ruin you. It couldn’t have been easy for you to watch him struggle
A: No but I felt like he never gave me a chance to help
C: People don’t always want to be fixed. Being damaged may have been too comfortable for him
A: I wish I could’ve known if it was. He never really talked to me. I think something happened that he couldn't deal with it and he shut me out because of it
C: thats always possible especially if he wasn’t like that before
A: You ever think about getting into another relationship?
C:Thought about it? Sure but I think I only got enough love in me to take care of my daughter. I haven’t quite rebounded back either.
A: Did you and your ex-wife have the child together?
C: No, I”m in the process of fostering and adopting. I got Anesa when she was one years old
A: That is so cool.
C: You ever consider having a child?
A: It was a part of the plan when I was married but we never quite made it that far
C: Same here but there’s always alternatives
A: I’ll think about it. I am getting up there in age
C: If from any indication of your photo, you’d have no problems. Many women are having babies at your age
A: Why thank you for the ego boost
C: You ever consider dating again?
A: No. I think I am way too damaged to not ruin somebody else
C: Ah, I know the feeling
A: You’re a good listener, Chris
C: Thanks. You too. So what’s your night looking like?
A: A movie and a glass of wine. You?
C: Grading papers
A: for a music class?
C: They still have to do research papers for me. Allows me to gage how they grasp concepts and detect their style
A: Hmm...that’s interesting
C: Part of my class is songwriting and music composition, at least a basic level teaching of both. I have separate sections that go into each more in depth but only a few students are selected to be invited to take those classes. This is my main selection pool outside of those who audition
A: that sounds extensive
C: it can be but I like it
A: Do you only teach major classes or can students take you as an elective?
C: They can take me as an elective but most end up dropping the class by the second week
A: Really? Why?
C: It’s more work than they intended to do in an elective especially if you’re like a business or science major. It’s not exactly contributing to anything but your credit requirement
A: True. I can understand that
C: Anna?
A: Yes?
C: You ever think about us meeting one day?
A: I’ve considered but I don’t know if I wanna ruin the mystery of you, yet. You?
C: Same lol
A; Well I got some wine and a movie to get to and I’ll leave you to your papers. Have a good night
C: You too
Robyn logged off and pressed her head into her pillow. Was it weird for her to start to like this guy? Honestly, they’ve never met so she wouldn’t know him from a hole in the wall yet she feels close to him like they’ve been friends forever. The fact he didn’t turn away when she started talking about her ex and even tried to help her understand some things was really deep for her. Her friends and family had tried but so much of what they said just seemed so biased and sympathy-ridden for her ex. Like where’s her sympathy? Did nobody care about how he acted affected her? Somehow Chris understood her and it was the craziest thing.
Chris turned to the next paper for one of his students and after a few moments acknowledged his mind was with Anna and not on his work. He could sympathize with her struggle to move on and the fact that she was probably still in love with her ex. He didn’t hate his but he was too damaged to love her like she deserved. A part of him hates that he wasn’t man enough to tell her that when he left. She probably had a hole in her just like Anna or maybe she had moved on just fine. It’s not fair to project his life onto her.
“Daddy, are you going to sleep soon?”
Chris turned to see Anesa standing in the doorway of the kitchen with her teddy bear in her arms. He opened his arms and she climbed into his lap, “Hey Love Bug, what you doing up?”
“It’s raining.”
Chris glanced over at the window and nodded his agreement, “you got scared, huh?”
“Yea.”
“Well there’s nothing to worry about, Daddy’s right here.”
“Daddy, am I ever gonna get a mommy?”
“Well Sweetheart, that’s a very complicated question.”
“Is it?”
“Yea, see I don't’ know if I wanna share you with anybody else.”
Anesa giggled, “well if I can share you, you think you can share me?”
“I’d have to think about it really hard. Is that something you’re nervous about?”
“I just don’t want you to be all alone.”
“I know, Love Bug but I’ll be just fine.”
“Auntie Jessica said you were married before.”
“I was.”
“What happened to her? Did she die?”
“No. Things just didn’t work out. I wasn’t exactly the right guy for her.”
“Oh. So she left?”
“No, I did but I really thought it was the best thing to do at the time.”
“Do you miss her?”
Chris sighed as he leaned his chin on the top of her head, “sometimes I do. Sometimes I do.”
“Does it make you sad?”
“It can but I’ve learned to deal with it.”
“Do you think you’d ever go back to her?”
“I don’t think that would be the right thing to do either.”
“Oh.”
“You sound so sad, Honey.”
“I’m sad for you, Daddy.”
“Why? I’m happy. I’m exactly where I want to be. Here with my Love Bug and my work. Daddy’s just fine.”
Anesa turned and hugged him as Chris blew out a breath over her shoulder.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Robyn washed her hands then sat down in her office. She had steady appointments all day, luckily mostly check ups but she was still tired. Being the head vet and the owner and shelter organizer always took a toll on her body. She twisted her neck from side to side to relieve some tension just as her office door opened, “Hi Beverly.”
Beverly, her trusty assistant, was always ready to rain on her parade, “Ms. Fenty, we just received a really huge invitation in the mail.”
“We?”
“Well you but you know what I mean.”
“What is it for?”
“The New York Society Charity Awards Gala. They want to recognize the shelter for its success.”
“That’s nice. Tell Ashley to go in my place.”
“Wait. What?”
“I don’t feel like rubbing elbows with the rich, that’s Ashley’s forte, let her do it.”
“Fenty, this is a huge opportunity for donations and connections. You cannot send your shelter manager in your place.”
“Why can’t I? She’s dealt with these people before. She even knows most of them. She has an Ivy League Degree, why can’t she go in my place?”
“The award is for you.”
“So?”
“Robyn, you can’t be serious.”
“I am in no condition to be bothered with anyone.”
“The gala isn’t for another month, you can’t muster up some give a fuck in a month.”
Robyn glared at Beverly, who simply folded her arms across her chest in response, “I’m not doing this.”
“You are doing this. I will schedule your appointment with your stylists for fittings and hair tryouts. We’ll see about getting you an escort and get a speech written for you.”
“I’m not going, Beverly.”
“You will go even if I have to get your entire family from Barbados to make you. This is a perfect opportunity and you will not squander it being anti-social.”
“Get out of my office, Beverly.”
“I will add the appropriate appointments to your calendar. Your 2:30 appointment canceled so you’re free until 4.”
Beverly promptly walked out of her office and Robyn tossed her head down on her desk. She couldn’t do this. She hadn’t been to an event like this since she was married to Chris. He’s a well-known architect and had a hand in a lot of buildings in the city. The circles aren’t that large in this tax bracket so she’s sure to run into people she knew back in California. She wasn’t ready for the questions and the stares if she showed up and especially if she showed up with someone else. They had kept their divorce quiet for several reasons mainly because she didn’t want to be embarrassed. Robyn Fenty, veterinarian extraordinaire, can’t even keep her marriage together. Some of those people would be colleagues, alumnus of her alma mater, people who whispered that once Chris got a taste of the good life, he wouldn’t stay with his middle school girlfriend long. Sadly, they were right. They barely made it three years before he walked out. She wasn’t going to this gala.
C: I really think you should attend. It’s for business.
A: It’s business that I don’t want anything to do with. I have associates specifically for things like this
C: Why is it so bad for you to go?
A: These parties always have people I knew back when I was married. Many of them don't know I’m divorced
C: Well people get divorced all the time
A: Yea but they normally don't have to be around the same people who said it wouldn’t last
C: Anna, you can’t be embarrassed about something so common.Things happens
A: That’s easy to say
C: Besides I would love to see a photo of you in your gown
A: Lol, is that the real reason you want me to go?
C: Well considering we aren’t meeting anytime soon, it’d be nice to see
A: it wouldn’t be a face shot.
C: Not changing anything for me
A: I mean I could just get dressed, post the picture and you’d be none the wiser
C: You could but I sense you’re a little too honest for that
A: Lol, I’ll take that as a compliment
C: Good, because I meant it as one
A: lol
C: are you writing lol because you’re actually laughing or because you’re smiling?
A: both
C: they do make emojis
A: Yea but I feel silly using them
C: Ah, I guess
A:You know what, I will go to the gala if you agree to go on a virtual outing with me
C: Like VR
A: More like a video meet up but no cameras
C: Just voices?
A: automated voices
C: you really wanna hold onto this mystery thing, huh?
A: I feel so comfortable with you, probably because I don’t know you but I feel like once you remove the mystery, shit gets too real
C: That’s a good rationale. How about this, my job has some assistance programs that can do text to speech. I can send you a few options, you choose one, we pick a date and we have our little blind date so to speak
A: you would do that for me?
C: Absolutely. I really like you, Anna
A: I like you too, Chris
“So you really like him but you won’t go on a real date with him?” Melissa asked.
“Mel, if I do that then this becomes way more than what it is.”
“Which is?”
“Two people just getting to know each other.”
“Without having to really know each other. You haven’t told this man your real name.”
“Because it doesn’t matter. That’s what I like most. The little things don’t matter.”
“So if he was using a fake name too, it wouldn’t bother you.”
“No. He’s not obligated to give me anything he doesn’t want to.”
“You are petrified of commitment.”
“I’ve been hurt enough, I don’t want to go through that again.”
“And you think by withholding basic information yet spending time with this man will prevent that.”
“The longer he remains a stranger, the easier it will be to walk away. I’m not looking for love or to move on. Just a new friend,” Robyn replied as she held a dress up to her body, “what do you think?”
“It’s nice. You really want to go long sleeves for this?”
“Either that or get a nice jacket. It gets cold at these things.”
“That’s true. So who’s your escort?”
“Nobody. I told Beverly that I’d go but I am not taking anybody with me.”
“Not even me?”
“Do you want to go? I can send in for a plus one.”
“Not really but it was nice you offered.”
“You sure Sis?”
“Very sure. I got a boyfriend to do things with on the weekends so I’ll be busy.”
“Oh rub it in. How is Juan anyway?”
“He is good. We were thinking about doing a friendcation next month. Go back to PR to see his family.”
“Oh that’s nice. I’m sure Lele and you will have a great time.”
“You wouldn’t come?”
“No. Hard pass.”
“I’m really tired of you ducking us, it’s not like we’re gonna fix you up on a blind date or something.”
“I know but I also don’t want to be the fifth wheel. No thank you.”
Melissa sighed, “I guess. Maybe if you’d get your life right with this new Chris, you could bring him.”
“I don’t want to meet him, Mel”
“I really don’t understand why not, y’all seem to have great chemistry.”
“Yea but I really just wanna leave it at that. I’m too fragile for anything more.”
“Have you ever thought to talk to your ex-husband?”
“Why? So he can make me feel even worse?”
“Or maybe so you can heal. Robyn, y’all had a really abrupt situation. You both were in a bad space. Maybe you just need to talk things out so you can move on.”
“Why do y’all coddle him so much? Why is it nobody’s mad at him but me?”
“Because we love both of you. Clearly, neither of you were in your right minds. Nobody thought you should've gotten divorced but neither of you were happy.”
“I did not want one. He wanted out and nobody seems to be lying that at his doorstep. It’s almost like you know something that I don’t.”
“Robs, that is most definitely not the case. We just don’t think being mad at anyone is gonna solve anything. Chris was hurting, from what we don’t know, but we all knew something wasn’t right with him. You were hurting, we all knew that too. Neither of you needed the extra weight of anyone else’s judgment.”
“It doesn’t feel very neutral.”
“Because you don’t want neutral, you want us to pick sides and that’s not gonna get any of us anywhere.”
“Well have you spoken to him?”
“We texted a few months ago but that was it.”
“Oh.”
“Do you wanna see him?”
“No because I’m still angry. Seven years later and I’m still fucking pissed. Seeing him would do me no good.”
“Robs, I think it might.”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m thinking the navy blue, what about you?’
Melissa sighed, “I love it.”
“Great.”
Robyn grabbed the dress and headed to the cash register.
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