#i also have no fucking clue what grians powers are here LOL

[made-nondescript]

the juxtaposition of the name hotguy vs writing superhero angst is making me lose it but like what do i do. change his name??? no. anything to avoid having to come up with superhero names.

[funky-lil-ghost]

Official™ Hermit Species Classification System

so grian decided that hermits are a species and i said no. no way docm77 and pearlescentmoon are the same species. but like. species is just one level of classification. long story short i gave myself a crash course in taxonomy and spent a whole day making this diagram. (im not a biologist tho, scientists please be nice to me. im just a small boy trying his best)

full explanation under the cut! also this link lets u view the diagram as a webpage

first thing, here's a handy chart of the standard biological classification system (image id in alt text). also btw I took a lot of inspiration from this post when i started figuring out how to apply this system to the hermits

after a lot of trial and error with different sorting criteria, i decided to put the "hermit" classification at family level. it made the most sense to me. also cause. the hhermits they r a family :( they., family . sorry my demons

As a family, the hermits' common traits are as follows from my diagram:

Members of the family parvihabilis have a genetic propensity for hybridization. All of these creatures are hybrids of some kind, although some are morphologically ambiguous and may not display obvious hybrid traits. Additionally, most are smaller than the average humanoid.

Let's break that down.

Hermits are creatures whose genetic makeup is well-suited to hybrid stuff. For this concept, hybridism is uncommon in most humanoids because it causes too many genetic conflicts and just kinda dies off before it even exists. Hermits have uhhhh. squishy genes. They're highly adaptable. This adaptability comes with a few specific characteristics, one of which is reduced size (thanks for that, grian. does it make sense? no clue! fuck it we ball).

I did a bit of research about scientific naming and cobbled together some Latin, hopefully it works lol. The family name parvihabilis should roughly translate to mean small + adaptable.

Next!

There are two genus categories in the parvihabilis family: Aedifex and ingeniator. Aedifex means "builder" and ingeniator means "engineer" (which I have used in place of "redstoner").

The builder and redstoner genera aren't hard and fast "this is what this person does all the time forever" categories, because there are a lot of hermits who work with both. Rather, these terms describe a genetic leaning that usually results in certain specialties.

For example:

Anyone can be a builder, but those of the genus aedifex are genetically predisposed to building-related behaviors. They gather and/or horde various materials, using them to create all kinds of structures. These structures can sometimes be homes for the aedifex, but they often abandon a structure soon after completion. Aedifex are known to be somewhat mysterious, following their instincts to different environments where they become attached to a certain area and set of materials until they feel ready to move on.

Similarly, anyone can learn redstone. However, those of the genus ingeniator have a natural affinity for logic problems and a genetically-wired fascination with redstone as a material. That last part is basically "oooooh Shiny Red Thing! i will put it in my box of Shiny Red Things because it is Shiny and Red". Ingeniator can sometimes become lost in their own contraptions, unaware of time slipping away as they work.

Finally, I put the hermits in species classifications based on whether they display hybrid traits. While all hermits are hybrids, they may not have traits that are obvious or clearly definable. Kinda like superhero universes where everyone has powers, but some people don't know what theirs is because it's some obscure thing like idk. folding sheets quickly.

Hermits are like this in the presentation of their hybrid genetics. Some have obvious traits like wings, glowing eyes, etc. Others do not. The corresponding species names are spectamistus, which should mean "visible mix", and secludimistus, which should mean "hidden mix".

Spectamistus will use their hybrid traits in accordance with their genus: Aedifex spectamistus could include a bird hybrid using their wings to safely build high in the air, a dog hybrid sniffing out the materials they need, etc. Ingeniator spectamistus may use traits such as fire resistance when mining for quartz in the nether, or specialized hearing when testing delicate machinery.

That’s all i got! Hopefully it makes sense, i spent pretty much all day on it lmao.

[votederpycausemufins]

me: you first started writing this story 12 days ago, take a break also me: CHAPTER 16 BAYBEEEEE

@petrichormeraki

Grian realized waiting was easy. No one was running around or trying to hurt him. People were trying to give him seeds and played music! And the voices liked how nice people were being too. But at the same time, the Watcher couldn’t help but worry. Why wasn’t Tommy back? Maybe he should go through himself. But it was a small portal. An enderman could barely fit, and to a watcher, those mobs were rather short.

What if you just got smaller? But he looks so dope like this! maybe he’s like a… i forget the animal but if he can get his head through he can get the rest through. Why’s he trying to go through anyway?; he’s basically a giant monster who’ll be attacked if he goes through. But he’s powerful. He’ll be fine!

Grian had move voices talking, and one seemed very convincing about going through the portal. Yes, it was a perfect idea. He just needed to squish himself through the frame. A number of Hermits tried to stop him as he started to move. He shook a wing as a lead caught on it. Another tried to catch him, but he moved out of the way and it managed to tie Mumbo up. Oh! He could bring Mumbo as well. Two heads would be better than one. He gave a chirpy laugh as Mumbo seemed to scream as he went through the portal. Grian followed behind, though he struggled squeezing everything through. There was a flash of white light, and then nothing.

Dream could feel the Watcher enter the world. He made sure that Tommy had no easy escape from his current prison before the former admin left the room. He walked in the direction of the portal. Everyone was here and his new piece of leverage had arrived. All that needed to happen now was destroying the portal and having the powers of admin returned to him.

Mumbo’s face hit grass as he ended up on the other side of the portal, tied up in the rope of a lead. He started to look up and had to squint at the bright sky. Had he blacked out and the storm had passed? But looking around, the only familiar thing in his vision was the infinity portal and Mumbo realized he had gone through it.

There was a squawk as Grian came through the portal. Mumbo tried to get up and reach his friend, but the fact that he was tied up had slipped his mind and he ended up just essentially wriggling around. Grian leaned down to look at him and Mumbo met the Watcher’s eyes with a gasp. Mumbo remembered when Grian was using his watcher powers, he could see how the eyes almost never looked at the same place, always focused on watching everything. The two main eyes may have just looked purple, but Mumbo could always see the symbol of the Watchers that seemed to have imprinted itself within the pupils.

But right now, all the eyes looked down at Mumbo. They all looked glossy and somewhat unfocused. Instead of their purple color they had a reddish-magenta hue and the symbol of the Watchers was absent. “G-Grian? Are you okay?”

I mean, obviously he’s not. Yessss, stare into his eyes! If Grian’s a bird, does that make Mumbo some kind of-

Mumbo immediately started to try and get out of the robes that tied him up. No. No this couldn’t be happening. He had told them no. They said they wouldn’t try again. Grian had made it very clear that Mumbo was under his claim as a Watcher. He shouldn’t be hearing voices.

After a bit more struggling, Mumbo was free. He was able to stand up and brush himself off, then start to put Grian towards the portal. “Alright Grian, back in the portal.” Grian just moved out of the way and chirped at Mumbo. “Don’t be such a spoon of a bird! In the portal!” He tried again with no luck. He was about to try again when he noticed someone approaching. Mumbo had no clue who they could be or what they might do. He had heard some of the horror stories Tommy had told, so Mumbo decided his best option was to hide.

Using Grian as a wall between him and whoever was arriving, the redstoner stayed quiet, trying to listen. He could hear them approaching, walking on the grass, and then they stopped. Mumbo nearly peeked out from behind Grian, but then they spoke. “No clue why the Watchers put up with you. You’re clearly out of your element Grian. But that being said, you’re useful. And now you’re in a world with people more like you than any of those Hermits. No reason to leave.”

Mumbo’s heart dropped as he heard what sounded like a beacon powering down and then the magic of a portal shattering. As if living in an unknown world wasn’t bad enough, now there was no escape. 

And we’re stuck here. Mumbo’s a genius, he can fix it. He’s only a genius at redstone, it’s hopeless. Maybe he-

Mumbo forced himself to stop listening. Grian had started to move and he needed to follow to stay hidden. Until they reached the nearby forest, there was no other place to hide. Mumbo slowly kept in step with Grian, creeping his way until they finally reached a tree. He used that as cover instead and to finally see what was going on.

The redstoner recognised the man donned in lime green that stood next to Grian. He was the one to show up in Hermitcraft and come after Tommy. One that many of the horror stories had been about. And for whatever reason, Grian was following behind him. Mumbo wanted to shout, to reason with Grian, but his fear for his own life kept him hidden and quiet. 

Mumbo watched as the two left, and then he felt safe enough to move. Grian had made Tubbo the admin, right? And he had made… someone else one too. But he couldn't remember their name, and Tubbo’s communicator still likely wasn’t working. Nonetheless, he tried, only to get an expected error message. Who else could he contact?

Tommy! Ranboo. Fundy might work? Tommy might be with Philza so either of them. Wilbur or Techno? Quackity! Sam. Why would you ever try Quackity? Because you can, lol. 

Mumbo didn’t know all the names, but Tommy and Philza seemed the most reasonable. Mumbo sent each of them a private message, summing up what was going on and trying to give a warning. There was no error message, but also no reply, so the redstoner could only hope they saw the messages. And then he started moving, hoping to find something to help him, like a place to stay or materials.

Dream toyed with Grian’s addled mind. If only he knew how easy it was to capacitate the dream slayer. He could hardly believe that this was what he had been terrified of for so long. He could enjoy this for a while, but right now, he needed to do what he planned to from the start. He had summoned Tubbo and Ranboo, knowing they would have their guards down. As far as they were concerned, Dream couldn’t do anything and they could do anything as admin. Oh how wrong them were.

Dream walked to another room and sat at the table, leaning back in his chair as he waited. It only took a few minutes before Ranboo and Tubbo appeared in the room. Tubbo seemed a bit disoriented from the teleport, but Ranboo as an enderman took it well. “Tubbo, Ranboo, how good to see you.”

“You should be in the vault Dream.”

“You two have something that doesn’t belong to you.”

“Grian made me the admin.” Tubbo spoke up, sounding confident. Dream smiled at it, he had no ideal anything he tried would be futile. Anything either of them did.

“Well, he doesn’t have to keep it that way.” Dream stood up, walking to the doors. Tubbo and Ranboo looked ready to attack, but then he opened the door.

“Grian?” Tubbo sounded hurt and worried for the Watcher. The essentially mindless beast gave a trilling coo which left the admin pair unsettled.

“Now, you have something that belongs to me.” Dream spoke. He filtered his own thoughts into the mind of the Watcher and then he could see the watcher magic flow around Tubbo and Ranboo. Dream felt energized as the admin powers were given back to him and he saw the pair grow exhausted from the energy being drawn from them. Now everything was just how it should be.

Mumbo kept chopping at trees with his netherite axe, gathering resources. He Put down an ender chest and was glad to see all the usual contents were there. He used some of the diamonds he had to craft a chestplate, thinking that would be a bit more useful. One shulker box was cleaned out of items Mumbo wasn’t completely sure he would need and instead house more essentials.

As he cut down another tree, there was a wave of energy leaving Mumbo looking around. There was nothing obvious that it could have been. It still left him on edge, and he put his supplies away, switching to his sword.

Creeping through the forest, Mumbo was prepared to attack. Even if he wasn’t the best fighter, or really a fighter at all, at least he might have an element of surprise. Above him, the sun was starting to set, helping him even more as his black suit and hair blended into the shadows. Mumbo was starting to wish he had gone to False’s sparring sessions more, but there always seemed to be one redstone project or another he thought was more important.

Light caught Mumbo’s eye and ahead he saw a fire. For a moment he thought it would be a lava lake, but there were blocks all over the place, some of sorts that couldn’t generate naturally. That could be someone’s home. Or possibly even former home. If it were the first, then Mumbo hoped it would be someone to ally with, if it were the latter, the land being abandoned could do well as a shelter.

Mumbo continued forward until finally he reached a place that seemed to be a crater. There had been some sort of explosion, destroying the place. While it made Mumbo sad to see what was likely a very nice build destroyed, it also gave him hope that it would be safe now. That was until he heard someone speaking.

“Stupid stupid stupid. Now I’m stuck here and have to rebuild and-”

Mumbo knew that voice. “Tommy!” He ran towards the blond.

“What the fuck?” He heard Tommy say before he slid down into the crater and stood next to the boy.

“Tommy, that Dream guy, he got Grian and-” Mumbo started to explain before freezing.

“Grian?” Tommy asked, staring at Mumbo with magenta eyes.

“T-Tommy?” Mumbo drew his sword. Was this some copy? A trap? What?

“Yeah, what the fuck do you want?”

“I… What’s going on? Who are you really?”

“Oi, I’m gonna ask the fucking questions.” Tommy crossed his arms. “Who are you and what are you doing in Logstedshire?”