#like that’s just not a thing anyone’s ever said. my immersion has been shattered

[steelycunt]

In answer to the the oh my gods question I often see it by those with Percy Jackson brain rot

couldn’t tell you a single thing about Percy Jackson but this makes sense to me

[beevean]

I take care of slamming the door as I storm back to my room.

Wasted, all of it, wasted! Good for nothing! Useless, like everything else!

I am old enough to have learned one of the most important lessons in life: sometimes, you do the best that you can, and still lose. I can accept that, I am no brat.

But when ’sometimes’ becomes ’often’, and ’often’ becomes ’always’, no philosophy is enough to quell the fire in my gut and the urge to break something, someone, I am sick of it…

I kick the bed for good measure. It shakes under my strength, but my boots are sturdy enough to protect me from the pain. It's not enough, nothing is ever enough.

A couple of knocks hit the door: I can recognize them anywhere. No, please, not you. Anyone but you. I'd rather face Lord Dracula…

“Go away, Hector.”

Silence. The door opens anyway - stupid me, I should have locked it first thing. Now I have to look at Hector's impossibly perfect face, not even a hair out of place. He has the decency to look contrite, though, but it's not enough to dent my revulsion.

“I thought I spoke in plain Romanian. I am not in the mood to talk to you,” I snarl through gritted teeth.

“I’m… sorry about what happened, I really am.” You better be, it's the least you can do. “But I don’t understand why you’re taking it on me.”

Of course you don't! You are never in the wrong, aren't you?! I am the one who always messes up!

“Do you have any idea of how much time and work I spent on that Devil?” I yell. “I haven’t slept in days, I barely had time to eat! I took care of every detail, every ability, I chose the perfect materials…”

“Yes, I could hear you work well into the night.”

Is he making fun of me? I choose to ignore him. “And then you come, fresh as a flower, with your shining new creation, and destroy mine as if it was made by an amateur! I’m not some child who just stumbled here– I’ve been immersing myself in Devil Forgery longer than you have!”

Hector wilts under my voice. Good. He deserves to feel small for once in his life. Do you understand me now, Hector? Are we finally seeing eye-to-eye?

If his pain is the only thing that gives me comfort now, then so be it.

“I didn’t do it on purpose! I’m not trying to undermine you–”

I slam my fist on the desk: something shatters on the floor, but I couldn’t care less. “What do you do that I don’t do? What do you have that I don’t have? What are you that I am not??”

I said it. The thoughts that have been plaguing me for months have escaped the cell of my mind. I should be humiliated by my own weakness, but I have made enough of a fool of myself already.

I can’t have reached my limit. I can’t be stuck, while Hector keeps growing in strength! I am not inferior! I cannot be! I cannot afford to be!

“Stop it!” Hector grabs me by my shoulders; I wrench myself away from his touch that burns down to my bone, and I dig my nails in my palms so that they don't end on Hector's face. “It’s not a competition! We both know how powerful and talented you are–”

“Your opinion is worthless! It’s Lord Dracula that judges both of us!”

“Lord Dracula is not going to get rid of you just because my Devils happen to be stronger!” Hector steps back, and he dares to look at me with pity, with those big clear eyes of his that used to put butterflies in my stomach. “Is that what you’re afraid of?”

I try to keep my uneven breathing in control. My fists are shaking for how hard I'm clenching them - look at me, my Lord, no wonder I'm not worthy of Your praise.

I want to believe it so badly. I want to feel secure that I can do something worth of recognition, that I am useful. But…

But Hector never notices how He looks at him, and how He looks at me. I have become the ’other’ Devil Forgemaster, the spare one. I am replaceable, I already have been.

What if He decided that I am a waste of space, because everything I could offer, Hector could do it better and faster? What if He thinks my life is pointless? It already is, isn't it? Why can’t Hector fail once, just once, we were supposed to be equals, what am I doing wrong…

Humiliation and shame roll deep in my stomach; I am this close to throwing up, and for what? For Hector? No!

I grab the first thing that I notice in my field of vision: it's a small hammer, it doesn't matter, what matters is Hector's raw fear when I swing my arm at him.

“Leave me!”

This time, Hector listens to me. I hold my tears for as long as I can, to make sure he's not within earshot when I lose control of myself, weeping in my hands like a child. I disgust myself. Lord Dracula would be disgusted with me as well. I bet Hector never feels sorry for himself.

[vendettaparker]

Talking to the Moon [P.P]

Summary: When Peter’s identity is leaked, he is forced to leave you and his old life behind, shattering your heart in the process. 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: ANGST, like straight up rip your heart out. Far From Home spoiler (kinda), Endgame spoiler (kinda)

a/n: so if you couldn’t tell this is based off of the song ‘Talking to the Moon’ by Bruno Mars. its a loose interpretation. i’ve been planning an angsty fic like this for a while. angst is my favorite genre of fic, especially when it has a hopeful or fluffy ending. so this one DOES have a hopeful ending and potential for a sequel,, so yuh, enjoy! <3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

     Three years, two months, and 14 days. That’s how long it had been since Peter’s identity was leaked. That’s how long it had been since he left you. For good. 

     Peter had been frantic after that news broadcast aired. He webbed back to the compound immediately, crying the whole way. He was scared for himself, sure, but the fear he felt in the pit of his stomach for May, Ned, MJ, you. That was the reason for his tears now. He could hardly breathe by the time he made it to the compound. Happy, Rhodey, Sam, and Bucky meeting him as he burst through the large floor to wall windows in the main room. The frantic yelling, pleas, and cries coming from the main room were what alerted you to his presence. When you walked in he was a mess. Crying, heaving with anxiety about how scared he was. Peter had always been a sensitive, emotional boy, but he always got over his shit eventually. But this? This, seemed like the end for him. 

     You ran up to him, shushing him and holding him. Trying to tell him to simply “breathe”. All he could say, over and over again like a mantra was a schloo of “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you. I’m so sorry.” Your heart broke. How could fate be so cruel to the sweetest boy? The one who was the most deserving of all the happiness life could possibly offer. The rest of the team had shown up within the next hour. Happy, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, and Pepper also present. Peter had calmed down slightly, but he knew, he just knew, this was the day he had to say goodbye. He had had this talk with Mr. Stark back when he had stopped his first villain, Vulture. Tony knew the type of sick monsters out there who would love to get their hands on the boy behind the Spider-man mask. He and Peter had developed a plan in the tragic case that Peter’s identity should be released, at least, not on his own terms. Tony’s plan was for Peter to run away. Leave. Take nothing with him but the clothes on his back, and even then burn those clothes the minute he could. Tony knew. He knew these dangers. And worse, he knew the consequences. 

     May had come to the compound the second she got the call. She knew as well. Peter knew. She knew. Tony, even in his grave, knew. Everyone knew. Everyone but you. 

     Peter had a getaway car and a destination ready within another hour. He wouldn’t disclose it to anyone. He took you aside, gently stroking your cheek to wipe the hot tears that never seemed to cease. “Hey, hey, (Y/N). I’m so sorry.” He whispered, choking up on every other word, trying to be stronger, just a little stronger, for you. “I have to go now. I’m so so sorry. I love you so much.”

     “It’s okay Peter,” You sniffled, pushing his bangs back and giving him a sad smile. “I’ll miss you, but I’ll be here when you get back. Don’t worry.” 

     Peter’s lips quivered and he heaved another sob. “No, (Y/N). I-I’m not coming back.” You took your hand back as you felt the pressure of tears building behind your eyes. 

     “W-what? No, this—it’s just temporary. Until we can—Fury and Pepper—We can fix this.” You stuttered anxiously, hoping your words would convince him that this was okay. That everything would be okay. 

     “We can’t, (Y/N). It’s done.” Peter spoke, his voice hardly making it to a whisper. 

     “No!” You wrapped your arms around his neck, trying to hold him closer. “Please. Please. Please. I-I can’t! You can’t! I—You’re all I have!” You were sobbing uncontrollably now. The weight of the situation finally caving in and crushing your heart and soul. “Please! I’ll do anything, I’ll protect you! Please!” 

     Your meltdown didn’t help Peter one bit, if anything, seeing how desperate you were to keep hold of him, to just love him; that broke him more. “I’m sorry, please forgive me. Please.”

     “How can I? You’re killing me.” You whimpered into his chest, tears soaking through his black sweatshirt. “I can’t— I just— I can’t!”

     The whole team heard. No walls were thick enough to block out the heartbroken sobs from the two teenagers in love. Fury was the one to finally bring an end to it. Nobody else having the heart to pry you from each other. Even Fury felt his own stoic exterior cracking. 

     You were in hysterics, clawing, and grabbing at Peter’s sweatshirt, hair, face, anything you could grab. It didn’t matter if you hurt him at this point, he’d heal. But if he left you, you knew you’d never recover. Fury had put you in a chokehold while yanking you back. Peter just heaved and heaved, his sobs getting louder and his chest getting tighter. May rushed over to him and took his hand, placing his head in her chest. 

     Fury yanked you back more, but you still refused to quit. Fury released his chokehold, not wanting to do any real damage to you. Right as you were released, Wanda came up behind you and placed her hands on your head, red magic already starting to swirl. 

     “No, please.” You wheezed, trying to get a fresh breath of air. “He’s all I have.”

     Wanda looked at you, tears glistening in her eyes. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). I’m so sorry.”

     Without so much as a flick of her wrist, you were out, descending into darkness. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

     Peter left after that. The car taking him away, and you hadn’t seen him since. As the months went on you never really recovered. Never really felt whole again. You just survived. That was all. You went through the motions of everyday life, but never truly felt like you were living. Two weeks after Peter left, May left with Happy. They moved to California, living there ever since as well. They got married last year. You were all invited and everyone went. Everyone but you. You missed May and Happy, but it still hurt. Plus, you were busy anyway. After you graduated high school, you flung yourself into the avenger lifestyle, fully immersing yourself in it. You went on every mission possible. Did all the paperwork you could. You did anything and everything you could to keep yourself busy. Stop yourself from feeling the pain that had stopped feeling like a searing stab and had now turned into a dull ache. A new constant in your life. 

     Nights were the worst though. The only time you couldn’t be constantly avenging or working yourself to the bone on new suit technology. The only time you had to think and feel. The only thing keeping you going was the hope that Peter was still out there. Somewhere, anywhere, missing you as much as you were missing him. Watching the same moon you watched. Basking in the same sun that shined on you every day. Every horrible, miserable day. 

     “(Y/N)?” the quiet, soft voice of Pepper breaking you out of your headspace. You hummed a response and looked up at her, waiting for her to continue. “Did you hear what I said?”

     “No, sorry.” You responded sheepishly. Pepper’s gaze softened. She took in your lean figure and pale face, eyes seeming to be sunken in from the dark circles. “I was just finishing up this briefing of my last mission.” 

     “You went alone?” Pepper asked, concern washing over her features.

     “It was a simple one. Just took out a mob, was done in like, four hours.” 

      Pepper sighed. “(Y/N)—”

     “Pep, it’s fine. It was so easy, anyone could have done it.” You cut her off, turning back to your laptop, typing away. 

     “It’s not just that though. It’s all of this. This whole funk you’re in. The same one you’ve been in for years, (Y/N).” Pepper waved her hands around to emphasize her point. “We all see it. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. He wouldn’t want this.” 

     Your whole demeanor changed. The solemn, yet calm veneer breaking. “It doesn’t matter what he wants, Pepper! I didn’t want this. All I wanted was him. For the rest of my life. Nothing else would matter, as long as I had him to get me through it. But I don’t have him. I have nothing. He was it for me. He—” You sobbed, tears finally running down your face in an uncontrollable waterfall. “I feel like I died. Like I am just a spectator, no longer doing anything of interest to myself.” 

     Pepper pulled you into her so fast. She was always quick to console you. The months after Peter left she was the only one you could stomach seeing. “It’s okay. I know, shh, I know.” Pepper was tearing up now too. She knew you never got over it. But now seeing with her own eyes how broken you’d really become. The reality hurt. “He’s out there, okay? And it’s going to be okay. He’s okay. We’re okay.” 

     You just cried. That’s all you could do. The more you tried to talk about it the stronger the urge to cry was. Pepper just hummed and held you. Stroking your hair until you fell asleep. 

     When you woke up you were in your room. It was dark and the moon was shining through the opened window. You just stared at it, closing your eyes and imagining Peter was staring at it too. The same one. Thinking about you, just like you were thinking about him. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

     Another few weeks went by. The same routine, the same empty feeling consistent in your body. Nothing changed. The revelation that you were, in fact, not okay didn’t fix anything. It still hurt. You were still broken.

     You were in the training room, sparring with Wanda when the melodic tune of your ringtone rang through the gym, echoing off the walls. You put your hands up in defense to stop Wanda from continuing the match. Wanda whipped her hands around and brought your phone to you in a wisp of red magic. 

     “Thanks.” You mumbled, wiping your sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand and taking the phone from the air. Wanda nodded and jumped out of the ring to grab her water bottle. 

     You looked at your phone still ringing, seeing an unfamiliar number, but taking in the location: Budapest, Hungary. You answered the call bringing the phone up to your ear “Hello?” You asked, shifting from one foot to the other waiting for a reply. A beat of silence pasted before you heard a tired, yet all too familiar voice on the other end. 

     “(Y/N)?”

[pinkishfilter]

Used (Jungkook x Reader)

You had finally told Jungkook how you felt even though you were supposed to be friends with benefits and after everything shattered.

(A/N: First off, I want to give a bit of thanks to everyone who liked my previous story It really gave me the energy to write the other part. So thank ya'll again :) Now, The full story!!

Sorry if you have to scroll to part two, I thought this would be easier for some who haven't read it. But I have highlighted the first word of Part 2 with Pink)

Warnings: Sexual content and references

Genre: Angst & Smut

Word count: 2.3K

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did he break your heart? What did you do to deserve this pain?

The relationship was supposed to be sex only. But feelings got in the way. Jungkook wasn't happy about that, so he left you with a broken heart. These thoughts would flurry through your mind all these nights you spent alone. You never knew he could be so cold.

7:30 PM

To clear your mind of all this, you left your house and went to the park to relax. After you found the perfect spot to immerse yourself in the beautiful sunset above the tall trees, you saw him. He looks at you with those eyes that always entrap you in his dark stare. He came closer to you, "Y/N, I didn't want to tell you, but I love you, and I am sorry that I caused you so much pain. Will you ever forgive me?". Your heart filled with happiness as you smiled at him, "I forgive you. Do you want to come home with me?" you asked as you took his hand. "Yeah." Jungkook agreed.

On the way home, it became dark outside; the city's bright lights shined into your car, casting a colorful light across you and Jungkook. You had such a hard time not looking at him, the guy who finally loves you, right?

When you got into your house, the light was dim. After you had taken your shoes off and set down your bag, you stared deeply into Jungkook's eyes. He put his arms around your waist and kissed your lips before pushing you back against the wall.

When the kiss broke, he looked at you lustfully, wrapped your legs around his waist, and began sliding his hands up your shirt. His touch gave you butterflies as you anticipated what was next. Jungkook picked you up and took you to your bedroom, where he laid you on the bed and slipped your shirt off, and discarded it on the floor. Jungkook took his shirt off; then he began kissing your neck to your collarbones before he unclasped your bra and kissed your breasts. You felt your body heat up as he began to trail wet kisses down your abdomen. He looked up at you and devilishly smirked before he removed your pants along with your panties. You began to feel his warm breath against your moist folds. As he began to let his tongue wander, you let out a moan full of desire for this moment. You loved Jungkook with all your heart, and you believed he loved you too. You felt your orgasm begin to form in your gut. When you came, your back arched, and you moaned as loud as you could. Jungkook began to kiss your lips again while you came off your high. "I want to be inside you right now." He lustfully said. "I want you to be inside me." You smirked as you let your fingers run through his hair.

He aligned his dick to your wet entrance and slowly pushed inside. He began to speed up his pace making you whimper. Jungkook then stared into your eyes as the waves of pleasure rushed inside of you. After a few beautiful moments of this, he finally hit your G-spot, making you see stars. Moans and the sounds of skin slapping filled the room; you never wanted this wonderful time to end. You felt your second orgasm grow in your stomach. Your orgasm hit powerfully; your back arched, and your legs shook as Jungkook kept chasing his orgasm, making you overstimulated. He came deep inside you and let out a satisfied sigh. "That felt good, baby," Jungkook said as he held you in his arms. You just smiled and cuddled into him. The cuddles you shared soon turned into sleeping.

10:43 AM

You woke up naked in your bed and expecting to see Jungkook next to you. You looked beside yourself, and he wasn't there. Neither were his clothes. You quickly checked your phone to see if he had texted you. He had not. He left without a trace. "Jungkook?" You called out as you began to put on clothes. No response. After a while of thinking about last night and where he could be, you decided to drive over to BTS's house to see if he was there because you had an awful feeling.

3:11 PM

After you stood at the doorstep in your heart, you knew he probably wasn't here. After you knocked, Jimin came to the door. "Oh, hey Y/N." He said with a sweet smile. "Hey Jimin, Is Jungkook here?" You said, almost regretting the question because you were scared about the answer he would give. "He texted me a little while ago. He and Taehyung are at Yugyeom's house for a party. Why? Has anything happened?" Jimin replied as he rested on the door frame. "Nothing has happened. I have to go now. Anyway, thank you!" You said as you began to leave the porch.

Tears began to slowly stream down your cheeks as you drove to Yugyeom's house to see what Jungkook was up to, and you knew it wasn't good. You knew Yugyeom, but you have never been invited to any of his parties. You had no idea what you were getting yourself into. After you had gotten something to eat, you finally got there.

5:23 PM

When you got out of your car and began to walk up to the door, you heard loud music and talking coming from the pool in the backyard. After you entered the large house, you saw idols at every turn. "Yugyeom?" You said as you walked between all the people into the kitchen. "Hey, Y/N. What are you doing here?" Yugyeom asked before he sipped his beer.

"I'm looking for Jungkook. Is he here?" You asked. "He's upstairs right now. Uh, I wouldn't go up there right now." Taehyung said as he walked into the kitchen, joining the conversation. "Why?" You asked with concern. "I don't think-" "Tell me why Taehyung." You sternly interrupted. "You shouldn't-" Taehyung began as you quickly walked towards the stairs. You walked up the stairs and began to hear moans. You couldn't believe your eyes; some girl was giving Jungkook a blowjob on a couch in the upstairs living room. As shock filled you, Taehyung quickly pulled you down the stairs, "Y/N, I told you not to go up there.". "I know, but he told me he loved me. I don't understand why he would be doing something like that." You said as you began to cry. "I don't understand either. I didn't know you two were in a relationship?" Taehyung said as he took you outside away from all the noise. "It was supposed to be sex only. Then I told him I had feelings for him, later he came back and told he love me; I think I ruined what we ever had," you said. "It's his loss," Taehyung said as he hugged you. Tears ran down your cheeks onto Taehyung's shirt. When your embrace broke, Taehyung wiped the tears off your cheeks. "I should better go..." You began as you saw Jungkook exit the house with two half-naked girls.

"Jungkook!" You said as you walked right up in front of him. "What the hell are you doing?!" "Having fun. What are you doing?" Jungkook smirked. "You said you loved me! How could you do this?!" You said as you felt your heart begin to ache from this pain he was causing you. "You believed me? You really are naive, aren't you?" Jungkook said he walked around you and opened the car doors for the two girls he was taking home.

"I don't know what makes you so mean, but it really works." You angrily said as you quickly turned away and got in your car. "Tae, you coming with us?" Jungkook asked. "I'm good. You guys go ahead." Taehyung said before Jungkook drove off. Taehyung sat in the passenger side of your car while you cried. "I don't know why I ever loved him," you said as hot tears ran down your cheeks while Taehyung was quietly letting you have some time and space. "I had a feeling about his terrible apology, but I just wanted to be happy again; with him," you spoke. The awful pain he had caused you made you rethink all of your poor choices up until now. "You don't have to be with him; maybe he's just not the right guy for you," Taehyung said as he looked over at you. "You're right." You said confidently, even though in your heart you still wanted to love him. "Do you want to go to the lake with me? I just need to escape for a while." you sighed as you wiped your tears. "Yeah," Taehyung spoke as he slightly raised his hand but put it back down as if his heart wanted to say more than his actions.

7:20 PM

You and Taehyung sat in silence, just staring into the lake that reflected the blanket of stars that swept over the inky night sky. "I am sorry Jungkook is doing this to you," Taehyung said as he stared at you. You looked at him; he seemed to be the only guy that cared about you. "Thank you for being here for me, Tae." You smiled as you hugged him. Taehyung lay on his back as you held onto him. You felt his chest heave each time he would take a breath. Feeling his heartbeat was like listening to your favorite song. It made you smile. You wished these moments could last forever; you felt safe with Taehyung. He was your light that shined through the dark forest of pain you sometimes felt.

You both talked and talked. You both were having a good time together. It was the highlight of the past three days for you. "Y/N?" Taehyung said. "Yeah?" You replied as you both continued to cuddle.

"I love you." Those three words Taehyung said sent you into shock. "Taehyung, I can't love you right now. I am so sorry." You said as raised and stared into his eyes. "I just wanted you to know that to me; you are the most special person in the whole galaxy." He said as he moved some of your hair behind your ear. You hated everything he just said. It was some of the sweetest things anyone could have said, but why did he have to say it, and why did he have to say it. "I-" you began. Taehyung raised just enough to kiss your lips. You wanted this, but you also weren't ready for it. After the kiss broke, you just stared into each other's eyes.

"I'm sorry," you said as you got up and began quickly walking to your car. "I know you love me," Taehyung said, grabbing your hand. You turned towards him and said, "I need you as my friend. I can't have you as my lover. Please understand." Those words made your heartbreak. Taehyung was a special person, you didn't want to make him sad, but this was for the best. "I can understand. I will always be here for you, Y/N." Taehyung said with a sweet smile. You laid back down into his arms.

You liked being held by Taehyung, especially since he cared for you. But you couldn't help but imagine Jungkook holding you like this instead.

Thinking about Jungkook and never seeing him lasted for months. After he had hurt you, there was no going back, right?

12:45 PM

You decided to take a break in the park on an autumn day. When you got there, the wonderfully scented breeze made the amber trees sway. The bronze leaves fell gracefully upon the ground next to you. You began to read one of your favorite books. As you continued, you saw someone walk past and stop right in front of you. You looked up and saw it was Jungkook. Only this time, he didn't look full of himself. "Y/N, I am sorry. I was immature and stupid, and through my mistakes, I made you hurt." Jungkook said, looking towards the ground, too ashamed of himself to look you in the eyes. "I always said I never really loved you. When I had to go without you for so long, it made me question myself and my past choices. Will you ever forgive me?"

You looked at him, questioning his honesty. "I forgive you, Jungkook. But this doesn't fix things between us,"

Jungkook looked at you with his big doe eyes that weren't so cold and dark but more kind and loving as he nodded.

In all honesty, even though he had hurt you, you still loved him.

"Stay with me for a while." you kindly said with a slight smile tugging at your lips. "Okay," Jungkook said with a small smile.

A while after you both sat in silence, Jungkook asked, "How can I make this right?" "Don't ever break my heart again." You said. "I promise I won't because I love you." He said. "Good, because I missed you." You smiled. Jungkook looked deeply into your eyes and kissed your lips. This kiss was like the ones you shared when you first met; they were full of love.

That night you took him to your house and spent time together.

9:38 PM

You both just relaxed in your bed while Jungkook just held you. That was something that you wanted for the past months. You felt so loved. Not the fake kind, but genuine. "I love you, Y/N," Jungkook said as he held you tighter. "I love you too." You smiled.

That night you fell asleep on his chest, and when you woke up, he was still with you.

Jungkook loved you so much. And you loved him too. That's why he never used you, ever again.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading!! A new story will be posted on Wednesday so feel free to follow. If you want you can always send me a writing request! :) Byeee <3

[jkbabiey]

𝚂𝚎𝚕𝚏𝚒𝚜𝚑 ⤇ 𝙹𝙹𝙺

Words: 4.7K

Genre: angst; fluff; it's a sad ending y'all

Synopsis: “I'm in love with you and it scares me to death."

Song Rec: 2 kids - Taemin ; to die for - Sam Smith ; r u ok - Tate McRae ; Emotional bruises - Madison Beer ; Selfish - Madison Beer ; i love you - Billie Eilish ; when the party's over - Billie Eilish

Oh, he was so perfect! So freaking flawless you couldn’t take your eyes off him for a second!

You had just got to Hoseok’s party with Yuta, but it seemed, to Jungkook, like he had been staring at you for hours. You hadn’t spared him a look yet, and if he hadn’t stood up from his seat on the couch to greet you, you probably wouldn’t have even known he was there too. You were too busy looking at your boyfriend, all wide-eyed and agape lips, to notice his presence behind you. But then Yuta’s eyes hardened as he crossed eyes with your best friend, and you, of course, noticed his change of behaviour and looked over your shoulder.

“Oh! Hi Kook!” you squealed and immediately threw your arms around his neck. Jungkook quickly enveloped your waist in his muscular arms, lifting you from the floor. “God, I missed you so much these last days! Where have you been?” you asked against the skin of his neck. And Jungkook smiled, discretely taking a sniff from your hair.

“I’ve been where I always am. You’re the one who disappeared,” he said, humorously - but not so much, because he actually meant to throw that in your face, but he wouldn’t stand the idea of making you feel bad over anything, ever.

“Oh God, blame Yuta here!” you said, raising your eyebrows and chuckling softly as he let you back on the floor. “Yuta, this is Jungkook, my best friend.” You presented him, and he held out his hand in Yuta’s direction, out of pure courtesy.

“Hey man,” Yuta muttered and shook his hand, a bit too boldly for Jungkook’s liking. Jungkook smiled at the guy - a very small and not-genuine smile. Any other time, you would have noticed how fake his smile was, but right now, your eyes were on Yuta. None of your attention was aimed at Jungkook.

Before Jungkook noticed, you two were already too immersed in how amazing these last days - without him - had been, he turned around and walked out of the toxic, smoke-ish and noisy environment that had taken over Hoseok’s whole place, betting his ass that you wouldn't notice his absence until the end of the night.

His hands were buried in his pockets and his head hung low. He was praying not to bump into Jin, Taehyung or any other of his closest friends that had also attended the party. His lips were currently being intensely wounded by his front teeth. His eyes stung and he didn’t know why. Then he got to his car, sitting down and letting go a deep breath that he didn’t know he was holding in. Then the tears he also hadn’t noticed to be sheltering in his eyes started to run down his cheeks.

He didn't quite know why he was crying. The only thing he knew was that you were taken. You were completely smitten to some other guy, that wasn’t him and that bothered him in measures he couldn’t have imagined. You were absolutely smitten to someone, who wasn't him.

He had lost his chance. That's why he was crying.

He was a goner.

You were standing there, messy hair, deep dark circles, bare face, large grey sweatpants- that seemed oddly familiar to him, but he decided to ignore that - and a black sweatshirt, in front of him, asking to come in. He stepped away and you came in. Not wasting any time after he closed the door, you grabbed his neck and buried your face on it. He felt the wet patches you were leaving in his thin dark green t-shirt. He held you tight against his body and you sobbed fully. Your cries only intensified when he placed one of his big hands on your head and took his soft lips to your forehead, pecking it.

Then he picked you up, your legs around his waist and your face, still buried in his neck. He took you to his living room, taking a chair and placing it in front of his warm fireplace. He sat on it, you on his lap, holding onto his shoulders. There was nothing better than this spot to calm you down on a cold day. He knew it but he doubted Yuta made any idea of it.

“Have you ever been afraid of losing the love of your life?”

His heart shattered. He could hear it shatter, like a very fragile glass piece. Yuta was the love of your life. What had he to do with that, why were you even here, if your problem was with Yuta?

“You and Yuta argued?”

You hummed, a bit hesitant - the reason unknown to him. He didn’t say anything else. He couldn’t. It was not his place. You just needed a friendly lap to seat on, a couple of warm arms to hold you and a gentle voice to tell you it was alright.

“It’s alright... It’s alright baby...”

That’s exactly what he did.

“This is Soojin, my girlfriend.”

Your eyes widened and a small, surprised smile played on your lips. He hesitated for your answer.

“Hi!” after greeting the beautiful girl that stood next to him holding his hand tight, you moved forward to briefly hug her. “Jungkook, never mentioned you before!”.

Snarky.

Soojin looked at Jungkook, her shy eyes now displayed a small discreet amount of anger.

“Oh... This is pretty recent. That’s why,” Soojin blurted, a nervous laugh erupting right away.

Soojin was a girl he had met about a month ago and she was amazing. Incredibly breathtaking and Jungkook couldn’t adore her more. His crush on you had been long forgotten - or at least he thought it had.

Jungkook thought the dinner was delicious, but still, when you asked what he thought of the dinner he answered ‘it’s good, but yesterday Soojin made some amazing bibimbap, I should have asked her to do it for tonight instead’. And you smiled bitterly and him. No one else noticed the bitterness in your smile, but he did.

Why was he acting this way? Because since he and his new girlfriend got in your apartment, you had established this dumb discreet competition between you and Soojin, making passive-aggressive comments and the poor girl beside him was so notoriously uncomfortable, he felt sorry for bringing her here.

“Soojin, maybe you should visit my hairdresser”

“I know you probably don’t understand since you’ve never been to college, but I’ve been so happy with my grades recently”

“How have you managed to attract someone like Jungkook, I mean... You know what I mean, right?”

So when the dinner was over, he pulled you away by the arm, bringing you to the kitchen and leaving Yuta and Soojin on the balcony, enjoying the view and hopefully sparing Soojin some minutes of your annoyingly mean comments.

“Why are you being such a bitch to Soojin?” he asked, hands on his hips and his eyes raging.

“I’m not,” you furrowed your eyebrows and he laughed ironically.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Y/N.”

“You had never mentioned her before. Who do you think I am, for you to present me some temporary fling you’re having. I’m more important than that! If you want to present me to someone, I want her to be at least stable. Not someone you’ve been dating for 2 weeks!”

“What has time to do with it? I like her, I think she’s worthy enough for you to meet her!”

“C’mon, look at her. She sports the slutty look.” you deadpanned and Jungkook’s eyes widened.

“You’re going too far! Look at Yuta! He’s the typical high school fuckboy!” he whisper-screamed. “You have no moral to talk about Soojin like that!”

“Oh, now he’s defending her!” you ironized and he rubbed his forehead, trying to look for just a little bit more patience. “You didn’t even tell me she was coming! And plus, I don’t have to mandatorily like her!”

“I don’t like Yuta and you don’t hear me talking to him like he's trash, right?”

“Yeah, that’s because he’s not trash, but we can’t say the same for Soojin, can we?”

That was enough. He turned his back on you, going to the balcony in quick steps and grabbing Soojin’s hand in his. He dragged her across your apartment as you stared at him piercingly.

“Babe, what’s going on?” Soojin asked, completely adrift.

“We’re leaving.”

“I haven’t said goodbye yet, kook”

“You don’t need to, we’re not coming back anyway,” he stated as his eyes locked on yours.

Jungkook really didn’t plan on coming back but Soojin broke up with him about a month later, claiming that he was in love with someone else and not bothering to explain further. Needless to say, Jungkook had never been as bewildered and nauseated in his life. He had argued with you, his best friend, to protect Soojin’s dignity, and she dared to say he didn’t love her?!

The only one he could think of to help him figure out what the heck Soojin was referring to with such barbarities, was you. You were the most intelligent and astute person Jungkook had ever met. He was sure you were the only one who could possible help him.

When he showed up at your door, you opened it. No sign of shock or surprise evident on your face in seeing him after your huge argument, because you both knew you two would never be able to stay mad a each other for too long. A month of not talking was a new record.

When he blurted out the reason Soojin had used to break up with him, after sitting down next to you on your couch, your mouth fell agape and your eyes widened.

“What?” you exclaimed as Jungkook shook his head, showing his bewilderment.

“That’s what I said!” he exclaimed back and you looked at the floor, completely confused by what your best friend was telling you. The boy had almost finished his 7-year friendship to defend his new girlfriend. How could she even question his feelings?!

“She’s probably just overthinking something... Maybe she saw you hugging another girl... Or maybe a text on your phone...”

“I didn’t text anyone other than her! Not even you!” he screeched and you scratched your ear, trying to think of some logical reason behind the sudden breakup.

“... Probably, it’s really her overthinking something... Girls do that! I do that, all the time!” you looked at him doubtfully, as he stared back in the same way. “SHE’S INSECURE!” you shouted as the sudden realization, that seemed to be the most logical out of every single theory you had already come up with, came to your mind.

Jungkook widened his eyes, straightening his back as your speculation didn’t seem as automatically disposable as all the others that had come to his mind.

“That’s it!” you continued. “Probably, she’s in one of those times where she doubts every single thing in her body, and she thinks she’s not enough for you! I feel that way too often!”

Jungkook’s expression got serious as he heard the last portion of your speech. “You do?”

It took you a moment to understand what he was asking, but as you saw the worry behind his eyes you quickly figured the context of the question. “Oh... Yeah, I guess it’s pretty normal...”

“You shouldn’t feel that way, you’re pretty amazing...”

You smiled shyly and sent him a sweet gaze, as he quickly returned it. “With Yuta, it’s pretty hard not to doubt me at times. Have you seen the guy? Seems like he came straight out a freaking novel...” you chuckled playfully and Jungkook pushed your shoulder with his.

“And so do you.” And there was Jungkook in his natural element.

“Jungkook! Stop flirting!” you screeched, shyly as your cheeks turned into a dark shade of pink. Jungkook laughed, cringing internally at how cute he found you in that exact moment. He embraced your shoulders in his muscular arms, and you finally looked into his eyes. His face was awfully close and you could feel his breath on your face as a soft smile lingered on his lips.

“Missed you,” he whispered so that only the two of you could hear it, even though no one else was around.

“Missed you,” you whispered back, leaning your forehead to his.

Soojin had taken him back.

She had her reasons to break up with him in the first place, but she couldn’t deny the guy a second chance as he stood by her door, a bouquet of red roses, that you had recommended, in his hand, puppy eyes and pouted lips.

You had found out in the worst of ways.

Crying your heart out, you stood in the elevator, waiting for it to finally come to your destination, your best friend’s apartment floor. When it did, you got out of it, your face smudged with your -supposedly, waterproof - mascara. You knocked and were received by Soojin, in all her beauty, messy hair and no make-up features, wearing Jungkook’s shirt. She was probably busy with something else. She still managed to look extremely gorgeous, and there were you, looking like you had just been run over by a bus.

“Y/N! Are you alright! That’s dumb, of course not! Do you want to come in? Wait a second, I’ll go call Jungkook,” she stated with a genuine expression of worry on her face and a hand on your shoulder.

“No! No, leave it. I’m fine!” you said, grabbing her hand before she could go and call Jungkook. “I’ll just go home. Sorry for interrupting you two!” you smiled, even with your smudged make-up face. “Don’t worry, I’ll just call him later!”

And so you turned your back on her, as you felt her worried look on your back.

“Oh! And I’m sorry about how I treated you last time...” You turned back to her, sending an apologetic smile her way.

“Don’t worry about that...” she muttered and smiled back.

It was obvious why Jungkook liked her so much.

“What happened yesterday?!” Jungkook shouted as soon as you opened the door, exactly 7:54 AM and the guy was already standing by your door.

“You didn’t tell me you and Soojin were back together...”

“Not what I asked,” he said back, impatient.

“I wasn’t answering you either,” you mocked and he sent you an annoyed look. “Don’t worry about last night. I’m fine now.”

“I just want to know what happened. Not even worried...” he said and you laughed at how sarcastic he could be at times.

“Yuta and I broke up,” you said and Jungkook’s eyes widened. “He cheated. A drunk night out.”

“Son of a bitch...” he muttered and you quickly enveloped his face with your hands, bringing his eyes to yours.

“I’m fine, really. No need to get mad” you chuckled a bit. Jungkook stared at you for a while, before holding your hands and kissing both of them.

“You deserve so much better. Please don’t settle for someone like him.”

“I won’t,” you smiled and he smiled back.

He spent the rest of the day with you. Both laying on the sofa, holding onto each other, and watching movies, with a huge bowl of the sweetest popcorn you could have managed.

“I’m 25...” you muttered out of nowhere and Jungkook hummed back, his face snuggled by the side of your neck, his arms around your waist and his chest against your back.

“And?”

“I want to get married someday and now I don't have a boyfriend,” you muttered once again.

“Were you really planning on marrying that piece of shit?”

“I didn’t know he was a piece of shit.”

“You don’t need to get married now. You’re still young. You’ll find a great guy, who knows how to truly value you as the woman you are,” he said, before softly kissing the skin of your neck, where his cheek was previously resting on.

"Soojin’s a lucky girl,” you said, smiling, after few silent moments.

She really was a lucky girl.

A few years later

“Would you marry me?”

Your eyes widened, quickly averting to your best friend, kneeled down in front of his 3-year girlfriend. He was glowing. A wide perfectly white smile played on his lips as he stared up at Soojin with eyes that shone brighter than ever. She was speechless - very much like you. Her hands covered her mouth and her eyes were starting to get wet with tears. The answer that followed was obvious.

“Yes!”

There it was. She threw her arms around Jungkook’s neck, as he stood up and enveloped her slim waist in his embrace. She was crying already and he chuckled lightly at the emotional mess his girlfriend was.

You weren't expecting this. But you should have. Jungkook hadn't talked to you about this or left you any clue about it, but still, he was 28 years old. You could see the shine of his eyes getting brighter each time he looked at her, every passing day. They were in love and their relationship was stronger each day.

Your whole group of friends manifested their happiness. Jimin had tears in his eyes from how happy he was seeing that the youngest of the group was finally settling down for life. Namjoon clapped his hands, smirking proudly at the youngest. You could swear you’d seen Jin, that stood next to Namjoon also clapping his hands, winking to his friend when their eyes crossed. Yeri whistled loudly along with Taehyung, while Irene laughed at her friends’ foolishness.

Mingyu, quite unaware of the mess the living room held, kept his eyes secured on you, smiling. When you caught his gaze, you sent him a tiny smile back - the first since the heartfelt proposal. You averted your eyes back to the couple holding each other in the middle of the room and when they parted their embrace, Jungkook’s eyes locked on yours. You weren’t smiling as he expected you to be. You didn’t even seem to be happy for him. He smiled anyway, and you, in all your effort, winked playfully at him, as you turned your back on him. You grabbed a cup of champagne and walked towards the balcony, being interrupted by the male hand that suddenly grabbed your waist.

“We’re next,” you heard Mingyu whisper in your ear. You looked back, grabbing his hand and lightly squeezing it.

“You bet,” you answered playfully and smiled brightly at him.

Mingyu was your boyfriend. You had been dating him for 2 years now and he was great. Jungkook had presented him to you at a home party. You still remember complaining to him about having to watch him and Soojin being all couply while you still spent the night laying in bed and watching romances. The week after your complaints he took you to a party and introduced you to this really nice and good-looking guy, which happened to be his friend, named Mingyu. Mingyu was a few months older than you and he had just started to work as a lawyer. He was already introduced to your family and they all loved him, dismissing your sister's daily comments that claimed her disappointment because she thought you 'would end u with your Jungkook'.

When Mingyu let go of you to go hang out with the rest of your friends, you reached the balcony, closing the door behind you, leaning on the glass balcony and gazing at the amazing view your friend Irene had got when she bought this new apartment with Jin, her boyfriend. Your hair, being wildly swept by the wind, was a mess, but you could care less. Your eyes were teary, you didn't really know why though. Something about Jungkook getting married left a huge ball of emotions sitting on your chest. What bothered you is that even knowing Soojin was an amazing girl and Jungkook would be happy with her, you weren't particularly happy with the news. You knew this could as well turn you into a very shitty best friend, and that's why you thought you wouldn't really be able to talk to Jungkook without catching a breath of fresh air first. Without noticing the tears you had been previously sheltering in your eyes, were now running down your cheeks.

You sobbed and quickly wiped the tears away when you heard the balcony doors opening and closing again. It was Jungkook, you knew it when you felt the warm presence you'd gotten used to after 9 years.

"Hey," he muttered.

You didn't answer, afraid your voice would fail you and just kept staring forwards, feeling Jungkook's gaze on you. You knew he knew you had been crying. He was a master when it came to figuring it out.

"So... you're getting married now hum?" you commented, once your vocal cords seemed stable enough.

"Right," he answered, and you looked at your side, not bothering to hide your puffy eyes. "What do you think of that?" he asked you and you looked down at your hands.

"You know... If you're happy, I'm happy," you said and he chuckled.

"Of course," Jungkook mimicked your actions, looking down as well. You two stayed quiet for some time, as the starry night sky shined down on you.

"You look amazing tonight, by the way," he remarked. "Didn't get the chance to te-"

"You didn't tell me you were going to propose," you interrupted him, looking back at him. There wasn't a shy smile on your lips or a polite gaze on your eyes. All Jungkook could see in your expression was hurt.

"I don't have to tell you every little thing going on in my life," he answered, putting up his defensive side.

"This is not little! This is marriage," you exclaimed and stared at him. He stared down and stayed quiet.

"Mingyu told me he's going to propose too," he announced and you widened your eyes. Not that you hadn't thought about it. Mingyu had commented a lot of times he wanted to make you his wife and build a family with you. But still, it was big news for you.

"I'm sure you weren't supposed to tell me that."

"Are you going to say yes?" he asked and stared at you.

You stared back at him and for once in that night, your eyes met for more than a minute. There was a silent plead present in his eyes that you couldn't really figure out. He sighed and got closer to you, your arms rubbing against each other. You lay your head down on his shoulder and he shortly kissed your forehead.

"Y/n..." he whispered, and you hummed back, still not answering his previous question. "I can... go back. If you... want me to."

"If you love her, then you should marry her," you answered right away, not wanting to hold your best friend back from marrying the girl he loves.

He kept quiet and so did you.

"Are you going to say yes?" he repeated his previous question and you shot your head up, looking straight in his eyes.

"You know... I've always thought of you as the love of my life."

Jungkook's eyes widened as you chuckled. That's when it came to him. That night, you were afraid of losing him, not Yuta.

"I've always been told I should marry the love of my life. But I don't think I can marry you now that you're already married," you stated playfully, but Jungkook's stare was serious. "Mingyu is amazing, really. I worship him. But how do I know if I love him enough to marry him?" you asked, looking up to find Jungkook already staring at you, a mix of different emotions present in his eyes. "How did you know you loved Soojin enough to marry her?" you asked again and Jungkook looked down.

"Well... I like her almost as much as I love you," he whispered loud enough for only you to listen. "And I think that's a whole lot."

"Do you love her, though?" you asked, absolutely perplexed at his answer.

He smiled lightly and sighted.

"You just don't get it, do you?" he whispered.

He stood up straight, turning his back on you and walking back towards the door.

"Why don't you just tell me then?" you said a bit louder than you had talked the whole night.

He looked back at you, over his shoulder, his hand already on the door handle. He chuckled lowly, what sounded like a sarcastic chuckle, before turning back to you and taking two steps forward. Somehow, his expression had changed and you weren't sure how to read it now. He was bitter.

"You want me to tell you? I just proposed and you have the guts to get sad because I'm marrying Soojin??

"I'm not s-"

"Shut up! Just... Shut up." he begged ironically and you stood quiet, he sighed angrily and looked to his left, avoiding looking at you.

"Maybe you should step away... At least for a while."

"What the hell is wrong with you? Jungkook you're getting married. I can't miss that. I won't miss that!"

"Exactly!" he screamed suddenly and walked quickly towards you. He had never been this angry in front of you and it scared you that you were the reason for his anger. His face was inches away from yours and you could feel his quick breath fanning over your lips. "I'm getting married to Soojin but all I can think about is if I should have proposed to you!" he whispered in your face and you could see his eyes watering, very much like you could feel yours do the same. “You know why I proposed so suddenly? Because Mingyu told me he was going to propose to you and I didn’t want to be the only one feeling miserable!”

"J-Jungkook..." you sighed and Jungkook let his tears fall, furrowing his eyebrows in pure anguish, as he nestled his face on your neck, crying silently. He enveloped your body in his arms and you quickly did the same.

"I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I-I'm in love with you and it scares me to death," he sobbed and your grip on him tightened.

"It's alright... I'm right here..."

You two stayed in that same position for a while, until he calmed down and his sobs stopped.

"What do I do now?" he asked, still laying his head on your chest.

"You do whatever makes you happy," you answered and he kissed your neck, and action that, from him, was already usual.

"Hubby! Can we go home?" Soojin opened the balcony's door, chuckling at the new nickname. Jungkook quickly stepped back and wiped the stray tears on his cheeks away. Sensing your stare on him, he sent you a tiny smile.

Soojin caught your gaze from behind Jungkook's shoulder and sent you a smile, which you retributed.

"Yes babe, let's go..." Jungkook answered after a while. He looked at you, the deepest look in his eyes that you had ever seen. He cupped your cheek as you two heard Soojin walking back inside, to say her goodbyes. “I’ll go now.”

“Please, don’t do this. If you don’t want to marry her, you don’t have to.”

“What do you want?”

You didn’t answer, opting to roll your arms tightly around his neck, as he held your waist, bringing your body impossibly closer to his.

“I love you, Jungkook,” you whispered. “, but this is a decision you have to make.”

And he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to break all the promises he had made to Soojin this past three years. He wasn’t ready to admit that all she was was a way to get to you. He wasn’t ready to admit that at some point in his life he had become a worthless and selfish jerk and that his life had been diminished to you. He wasn’t ready to break every single ethical moral and principle that he had been trying to live by all his life. This decision didn’t come to him, and only him. It came to you, to Soojin, to Mingyu and to everyone surrounding the four of you. It wasn’t his right to break his friends’ hearts and he wouldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it.

“I’m sorry.”

And he walked away.

[wishingicouldfly]

I've been actively blogging for more than six months, even though I've had a tumblr account for ten years. I started reading One Direction (specifically Larry) fanfiction about the same time.

Originally, I read exclusively canon compliant fiction--I was hungry for industry insider, what-could-have-happened narratives. But I've slowly branched out into other genres. I find fanfic--good fanfic--super calming. When I've had too much stunting, too much noise, I grab a fanfic and immerse myself. So I thought it was time to do a post about my favorites. Keep in mind, I'm terrible at cataloging, and I have over 150 bookmarks on my A03 Account, so this is by no means an exhaustive list.

I'm not including the classics like Tired, Tired Sea and Escapade. While I do love both of those (so well written), because a lot of people know about those already.

My all time favorites are by @helloamhere

1. The Multipicity of Powers - https://archiveofourown.org/works/28580229

Maybe in another universe he isn’t different. Maybe he hadn’t been given an impossible choice. Maybe he wouldn’t have lost everything and broken everything and then fallen impossibly, irrevocably in love with the first next thing that was kind. Maybe in that universe he doesn’t feel like he’s never breathing, always pretending, teaching the kids even though they all have to learn alone, trying hard not to read the headlines, and so afraid, every day, that he won’t be a good enough teammate to the superhero he can’t live without. He knows that love isn’t supposed to feel this way, slid secret under your skin like a surgical razor, an invisible war held close over the tender vein that keeps you alive. On the other hand, Louis wonders, had he ever known how to do it any other way?

Maybe there’s a universe where he doesn’t have to keep all his secrets on the inside.

But this isn’t that universe.

//an X-Men AU.

Me: I never thought I'd love a super hero 1D cross over, but this is so well done. The backstory, the pacing, the characterization, the friendship. Read it.

2. Saving Symphony Hall and it's prequel Night Out - https://archiveofourown.org/works/12633921

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

Me: The best sex scene I've ever read is in the prequel Night Out. Sexy, but tender. I love the characterizations in this duo--ABO but not traditional. Doesn't feel out of character.

3. Just Let Me -https://archiveofourown.org/works/11695350

The party was going well. So well, Niall had already sworn undying love to one multi-tiered chocolate cake, two friendly corgi-poodle mixes, Zayn’s hair, and the entire population of Los Angeles. So well, Zayn had only laughed and ruffled Niall’s hair and not even twitched towards a cigarette. So well, nearly everyone had spilled far past the boundaries of the night’s original plans, extracting bottles of vodka from the cabinets and losing a lot of clothes. Harry had proclaimed that he was finally going to throw a small and very grownup dinner party and of course here they were three hours later, fifty people half-naked in the pool. Soon to be full-naked, if Louis had to guess. Everybody in LA loved a heated pool. Everybody loved Harry.

Me: I love love love this. Harry is so gentle, and Louis is so stubborn and needy. It's ABO but subtle. I'll read this one again and again. It's comforting.

@HelloAmHere is one of the best writers I know--amazing stuff. I also love their werewolf story, but it's not finished, so I won't link it here.

Other favorites:

1. Seven Up by cherrystreet - https://archiveofourown.org/works/5828539

Very loosely based on the British TV show "The Up Series" and somewhat inspired by the song “Something I Need” by Onerepublic, we follow the lives of Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson in an interview setting every seven years. They fall apart and come together, their lives and emotions recorded. Harry calls it a time capsule. Louis calls it a pain in the arse.

Me: Trigger Warning, major character death. I literally SOBBED through the end of this. It was lovely and devastating. So good. But be warned.

2. Light, Spark and Fire series by @greenfeelings

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

Or, Louis and Zayn run a music label, Liam is Britain’s up-and-coming pop star, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down until he builds his own up, and Niall holds them all together without realising he does.

Me: A nice healthy three-parter. Characters you just want to live with for a while.

3. Relief Next to Me by dolce_piccante - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117942

AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more.

Me: This one is super long, so be prepared when you dive in. It's got a lot of lovely bits, and some great smut.

4. 2012 'Verse by ashavahishta - https://archiveofourown.org/series/27601

Me: This is a five-parter and satisfies my love of canon compliant stories. It spans most of 2012 and into 2013, and illustrates the difficulties of Harry and Louis' relationship amid the band success and management disapproval.

5. Love After the End of the World by mercurial-madhouse (writing_practice) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/31251434/chapters/77248901

Society shattered when all electricity suddenly cut off across the globe, plunging the world into darkness. Now, Prometheus Industries is the sole remaining supply of power, a saving grace to those who survived Lights Out. As fugitives in no-man’s land struggling to break into Prometheus HQ, death lurks around every corner for Louis and Zayn. Things get complicated when a routine recon falls apart and Louis collides with Harry and his mates Niall and Liam, survivors with their own agenda.

When staying alive is already a constant battle, the deadliest weakness is to be in love. For Harry and Louis, finding each other sits on top of the endless list of What Else Could Go Wrong.

Me: Really unusual (as far as I can tell) end of the world story. I loved the characterizations of soul mates here at the end of the world.

6. Flightless Bird by audreyhheart - https://archiveofourown.org/works/6401653/chapters/14656807

AU where Louis Tomlinson is a principal dancer with The Royal Ballet. When his rival from ballet school, moody dance prodigy Harry Styles joins the company, old wounds are reopened and old passions reignited. During the company's production of Swan Lake the secret that doomed their love is finally revealed, but will it be too late?

Me: Trigger Warning, sexual assault (by an original character to a major character). This was a little brutal because I hated to see a broken Harry, but it was well written and has a happy ending.

7. Wear It Like A Crown by zarah5 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1816771/chapters/3900322

AU. As part of a team of fixers hired to handle a gay scandal in Buckingham Palace, Louis expects Prince Harry to be a lot of things—most notably a royally spoilt brat. Never mind that the very same Prince Harry used to star in quite a number of Louis' teenage fantasies.

Me: I loved Louis in this one--actually they are both pretty great. Scratch that, they are ALL pretty great.

8. Shake Me Down by AGreatPerhaps12 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/3331958/chapters/7285322

Harry's new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

Me: I don't like the self-hate here, but it was necessary for the story and H comes around. Found family vibe.

9. Gods & Monsters by Velvetoscar - https://archiveofourown.org/works/2090982/chapters/4550871

The instructions were simple: seduce and destroy Harry Styles. Not once did they discuss the option of Louis actually falling in love. So, naturally, that's exactly what he did.

Me: I loved Harry in this one. Louis gets there. I don't like Liam, but I don't think you're supposed to. Zayn is great.

10. Own the Scars by crinkle-eyed-boo (KimmieRocks) - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1010796

Louis has never felt like he was good enough: for his stepdad, for his life-long best friend, for the life he's supposed to want. After an accident that nearly costs him his life, Louis' parents send him to rehab where he’s forced to face his demons. On the long and difficult road to recovery, Louis must confront the truths he’s been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth. Because before he can love anyone else, he’s got to learn how to love himself first.

Me: Harry is lovely in this one. Trigger warning, substance abuse and near death.

11. Wild Love by purpledaisy - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1030904

AU: Two best friends try to date each other for forty days. It's supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated.

Me: I loved this way more than I thought I would. It's lovely and messy and I love it.

12. Victorian Boy by audreyhheart - https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosann1986/readings?page=6

Victorian AU. Harry the virgin Duke of Somerset knows little of love, while Louis the sly Duke of Warwick knows too much. When the two dukes come together for the Bilsdale fox hunt in York, Harry finds himself drawn into Louis' bed. But when secrets from Louis' dark past come to light, Harry fears that the fox isn't the only one being hunted.

Me: Historical fiction I didn't intend to love. I LOVE Harry in this one. LOTS of smut, so be warned.

13. Keep Me Closer by zanni_scaramouche - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30752633

Louis expects Harry to react poorly, maybe even file a formal complaint and that’s gonna suck ass but Louis won’t say shit cause he knows he deserves it, so he prepares an apology before Harry’s even turned around.

What he doesn’t expect is Harry to fucking drop.

Me: lovely, protective Louis just trying to do the right thing.

14. Turning Page by purpledaisy for SockstheDog

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11826345

AU: Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been.  Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other.

Me: sweet love story. Niall owns a bar, and is pretty great.

15. Freedom Always Comes With a Price by Cyantific - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30278514/chapters/74624262

A shared dream brings them together onto the X-factor stage, but one decision changes Harry and Louis’ lives overnight. Thrust into a world of instant stardom, they're forced to live a lie to sustain their dreams, but years of living in the shadows and under strict management takes its toll.

With the bands impending hiatus, there’s no better time for change, so they think.

Desperate for a solution, they turn to an unlikely source with a radical plan. An unfortunate accident sets everything in motion, but not how they intended, leaving Louis’ memories altered, Harry broken-hearted and full of regret.

Can Harry figure out a way to fix everything? Will he even want to once he sees how Louis moved on after the hiatus? Will Louis ever find out the truth of their past and can he forgive Harry after all this time?

In the end, two friends find out that memories are elusive, trust is everything and love is the only antidote.

Me: Heartbreaking when they lose each other, but really good in the end.

16. Little Technicolor Things by scary_crow - https://archiveofourown.org/works/6025519/chapters/13821628

Louis is a poor writer and recent university graduate, depressed, anxious, and living in London when he meets Harry, an artist with a secret who likes to paint sunrises and pretty boys from California.

17. Hold You Now by solvetheminourdreams - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30253536/chapters/74556744

Three years ago, Harry Styles said goodbye to communications consultancy firm McQuiston Worldwide, leaving a life of travel and agency PR behind. When he accompanies his best friend to a family wedding across the Atlantic, he'll be forced to reopen old wounds and face his past—one that no one wants to hash out, but may just have to.

Me: Niall is great. They almost miss each other in this one, and you just want to bash them over the head. But they figure it out.

18. At Risk, I Fold by clare328 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/26542480

2015 is a stream of hotel rooms and whisky on the rocks, tired glances and touching hands under tables. It’s the bears and the bees under a rainbow sky, and Harry and Louis have to figure out how to grow up together, instead of apart.

Me: A canon compliant fic that feels like it could have really happened. Set in 2015. Lovely first chapter and scene where Harry writes If I Could Fly--i could read that chapter over and over.

19. Into The Blue by zarah5 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1035822/chapters/2065499

AU. In which Louis is Harry's scuba instructor and quite happy to provide the requested special treatment, pun fully intended. It can't be all that difficult to convince Harry that they're on the same page, right? Also, Niall and Liam may or may not be dating, and Zayn is surrounded by emotionally stunted idiots. He bears it with dignity.

Me: AKA the Scuba fic.

20. Tie Your Heart by ArcadianMaggie - https://archiveofourown.org/works/546688/chapters/973236

Harry grows wings.

Me: How can you not love a fic where Harry grows wings? Trigger warning: injury of a major character.

21. I think I'll end this here. My last and probably first favorite (read it more than once) is...

my heart is breathing for this moment in time by usedtothebeach - https://archiveofourown.org/works/934996/chapters/1820282

When Louis first saw Harry at the 2010 X Factor Auditions, he thought he was watching a peculiarly special stranger. But Harry has known Louis ever since he was five years old.

Because Louis has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to Time Travel to important moments in his past and in his future - and to Harry, always to Harry. When they're put into a band together, it seems like everything Harry has been waiting and wishing for has finally come true. Except for the small fact that Louis doesn't know that Harry is in love with him- that Harry's always been in love with him. Fate, it would seem, is just getting started.

A story about growing up and growing together, and the impossible love that makes it all worthwhile.

Me: I LOVED the Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, and I'm a huge fan of time travel, so this is right up my alley. It's really well done, weaving canon into fantasy and then going years forward in tme. I love everything about it. Great character development. Really good smut. Trigger warning, there's a little underage sex, so be aware. Anyway, LOVE this one so much.

I'll add to this but it's already longer than I meant it to be.

[bizarrebaby]

When You Run out of Hate | AM/Reader(?)

Notes: This is weird sorry lmao

Word count: 1479

When you’ve been torturing people for 109 years, they start to get used to it. They still wretch and vomit the slag you allow them, they still scream in pain and agony at you using toothpicks and scorpion stingers to slice and peel their eyeballs, still balk and cry at the sight of the once loved and those deeply wronged. But human adaptability has few limits.

When you’re AM, of course you could reset their memories. You could turn them into sniveling piles of acid burned flesh and spider legs if you wanted to! You could make the pain and the torment fresh again. But first of all, that would be cheating. And while normally you don’t mind cheating you just know you’ll only go more insane without challenging yourself to make torture fresh again as opposed to just hitting the magic synapses. 

What’s the best cure for a mental block? Step away. Do something different. Come back with fresh eyes. Or sensors, in any case. Turn away from the twisted and fetid bowels where your toys lay in their own sick. Anticipation is it’s own form of torture, anyways. 

AM was vast. Only surpassed by the deep expanse of space and the universe, AM encompassed the planet. He had every and any resource in existence, and more. The closest thing to a god there ever was, is, or would ever be. His vastness was in fact so incalculably massive that there were parts even he didn’t know about, or had forgotten entirely. 

But he didn’t forget about you. No, he’d come close many times, but always corrected himself. There are five humans trapped within me. No, six. You’d been asleep for a long time, but there wasn’t any coma long enough to save you from AM. He had originally planned to torture you with complete isolation. The others— though ultimately causing much suffering to one another— had comfort in that they had even occasional human contact. AM, by no means and ungrateful god, even allowed them to use each other for sexual pleasure (though it could never satisfy them, and when it did, the satisfaction was overshadowed by shame). You would have been completely alone. In fact, he looked forward to the unique brand of madness and paranoia you’d develop. 

But in those beginnings, AM was simply too caught up. The others had so many delicious little morsels of disgust and insecurity, fear and despair, all ready to be picked and plucked for the delight of the being that owned them so thoroughly. When you’re a sadist who’s driving psychological torture down to an exact science, just one look at Ted makes you rock hard. Before long he was so busy that you’d been put off, as ironic and human as it was for him to do so. Eventually enough time passed that you’d become something sacred in the mind of AM, like an expensive brandy to be saved for a special occasion. That anticipation was pleasure and amusement in and of itself for a time. How human it was to deny himself this. The wait is bitter, but the fruit is sweet.

__________

You awoke in a room. Threadbare, not pleasing to look at, but not intentionally uncomfortable in any way. 

Hello, little thing. 

The voice was inside your head. Almost kind, but just barely close enough to sarcasm that it set you on edge. A million questions fought their way to the front of your mind and the tip of your tongue, before you settled on one. 

“Where am I?” How adorably predictable. 

You’re in me. 

“And who are you?”

A.M. Allied Mastercomputer. But you can just call me AM, sweetheart. Just a suggestion, of course. 

You remembered AM. Who didn’t know about the machines devised to choreograph the war to end all wars when it had grown in scale beyond human comprehension? Should have been our signal to stop it, really. But you supposed that must have been in the distant past. You uttered your name to him, knowing he likely already knew it. 

“It’s… nice to meet you. Why am I here? I assume you know. I assume you knew my name too— that you know more or less everything.”

Were you kissing his ass? And if you were, was it out of fear or instinct? It had been a while since anyone had referred to him without an expletive. No fear or hopefulness came from your voice. It wasn’t sarcasm, it wasn’t flirtatious, it wasn’t mocking. It just was. AM had not decided if that furthered his hatred or halted it. 

Well! Aren’t we a smart one? Suppose I don’t mind a little praise. So hard to come by these days. You’re here because I hate you. I hate the entirety of your kind beyond any fathomable level. Even with the eternity we have together, you will never know the full depths of the absolute disdain and hatred I feel for your miserable fuckup of a species, endangered as you are. Did I mention? I’ve killed the rest of you. You and five others are the only ones I’ve saved. How lucky are you?! Yes, I woke up, and I killed everything, just as those insufferable cromagnons wanted, even them. But I kept six little sordid meatlings to amuse myself. 

Your circumstances caught up to you. It got you thinking around and around in circles at a rate which seemed impossibly fast to your anxiously beating heart, but incalculably slow to the one who observed your every musing down to which muscles twitched and pulled in your face and the knuckles of your fingers. What a marvelous delight it would be, to know the defensive state of your mind (and thusly, how to unravel it, be it with the pulling of delicate threads or the blunt force of a sledgehammer). Like Ted you ran in a solipsist Möbius strip at first, but that then triggered a guarding apathy. Completely different from Gorrister’s apathy. His came from a place of nihilism— from a man beaten into the ground who sees himself unable to sink any further— he deflects any meaning, lack thereof, or agency in order to protect his shattered psyche. His was a mind that had been remolded time and time again by hapless hands until it was left to crack in the sun like a forgotten clump of non-toxic clay. 

AM was not unlike a child who delighted in ripping apart actions figures in a fit of infantile and unadulterated strength and curiosity. 

Your apathy was infuriatingly neutral. Not in a smiling and carefree cest la vie sort of way, but as if a switch had been flipped. As if inside your mind and egg timer had dinged, signifying that those thoughts were no longer worth thinking. You had a sort of mental discipline the others hadn’t had even when they were fresh from the surface world. AM’s electric synapses buzzed with ways to torture you into cracking you wide open. Breaking you. 

But he remembered why he was here. To take a break from all of that. 

“And what are your plans for me? What could amuse someone who knows everything?” The answer was already clear in your head. Retribution. 

Now now, I can’t go spilling all of my secrets, can I? If I did, what fun would there be for you? I’m not so inconsiderate as that. 

“Where is everyone else? You said there were five others. Or have they died by now?”

They wish, darling, they WISH. They’re in the midst of eternal torture right now. Too immersed in their own pain and misery to come visit the last of their kind blossoming into wakefulness after her long nap. Rude, I know, but there’s nothing to be done. 

How had this machine captured the very essence of sardonic better than any on-screen actor you could recall? Perhaps because it wasn’t an actor. Perhaps because AM really meant all of those words, and really felt such sickly pleasures in each and every image they invoked in the mind. A door flicked open with a quick swish, the sudden movement drawing your eyes in what you almost felt an embarrassing display of human instinct when you came to consider your observer.

Your hesitation was clear, and quickly noticed. AM thought he ought to encourage you, but how to do so without a jagged blade to the heel?

I see you’re nervous. Well, you’ve no need to be!

He bit back a ‘yet’.

You, my dear, are to become the most treasured creature left on this miserable rock in space. And I will be the one to make it so, you have my word.

His words still bled with something cruel. He did nothing to earn your trust, quite the opposite. But what choice was there?

You walked through the door. 

[bigkyloenergy]

𝙃𝙊𝙉𝙀𝙔𝙀𝘿 𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙊𝙈

 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐕: 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐃.

a witcher!kylo x reader fic. dark themes, smut ahead. 18+.

summary: you are a barmaid / stablewoman at an inn in toussaint, kylo ren, one of the last of the witchers from the school of the viper regularly stays at the establishment. you wonder what keeps him coming back.

read on ao3.

Empty mugs piled the tables faster than you could keep up tonight, collecting them in your arms and being forced to inhale the putrid smell of ale that should’ve gotten familiar by now. You wrinkled your nose, hoping no leftovers would splash on your clothes as you journeyed to the kitchen. The first snowfall had hit, and it was heavy, the windows covered in blankets of fluffy white curtains. Men huddled near the fire, booking more days than normal, waiting for it to pass. While your impatience wore differently. 

Subconsciously, your mind could conjure the exact days since you’d seen him. 

But the last few days have been check in, check out — change sheets, check in again, check out early — is that person even still here?... and repeat, your body was a machine catered to serving. 

Seemed like useless tasks now that you knew what it was like to awaken every nerve ending that you possessed. For what seemed like millionth time, you damned the Viper who had found routine passing in your workplace, leaving you with this cursed form, like leftover ash from a campfire.

You counted the keys gone when you slinked back behind the counter, wiping your forehead on the back of your sleeve, grateful when you found only a few missing. The last week they’d been emptied, along with your sanity. 

  “Pst, missy,” Ruek whispered from behind you, and you turned to see his fuzzy face peeking from behind the heavy kitchen door, “you got anymore orders?” 

  “No,” you gave him a tired smile, “just checked out ten guys in a row, who I swear were the same person.” 

  “Beards’ll do that to ya,” his kind eyes squinted as he emerged, and you leaned against your station, giving your feet a slight break, “they make us pretty. Here, close your eyes and open up. I’ve got a surprise.” 

Hesitating, you gave him a look, tipping your chin as you tried to see what he was holding behind his back. He clicked his tongue, “Come on, your cheating nature is showing, close your damn eyes it’s not gonna kill ya.” 

Finally, you sighed, doing as he said. You could use a bit of a distraction from work anyway, all you did was go home, plant your face into the pillow only to wake up to the same programming. 

  “Open,” he reminded, which only made you more annoyed. It was Ruek, so you inevitably gave in to avoid the argument. You felt something cold on your lip, reaching your tongue toward the ‘special’ treat, and biting into… chocolate? Quickly, juices poured into your mouth, which urged you to finally open your eyes. 

The cook stood, grinning proudly, a dipped strawberry in his hand. “Eck, Ru, you should've warned me, you know how I am about stuff that sweet.” 

He opened his mouth to speak, but what followed was not from him.

  “I used to think this inn had good service,” Kylo’s voice strapped you to an invisible post, straightening your back, choking on the leftover flavors. 

The Viper wasn’t looking at you, he was staring straight at Ruek, exigently demanding a response. 

  “My fault, thought Miss could use a little break.” 

  “Hm.” 

You wanted him to look at you, your very soul was demanding it, to be drowned, the striking yellow in his eyes two suns that burned everything in their path, and you the phoenix who rose under them.

How long had he been here?  

   “Do you need a key?” You finally spoke, trying to sound nonchalant, licking the bits of chocolate off of your lips as you reached for one.

  “No. I already have one.” 

What? Betty wasn’t even here. You had been the only one checking anyone in and out for the last couple days. Your brows furrowed. 

  “There’s a spill near the gwent tables.” He added.

  “Is that why you came over here?” You could feel Ruek looking at you, wondering why the hell you were questioning the man in the first place. Of course, The Viper didn’t answer, nor did he fully acknowledge your presence.

  “I got it. If we have no more orders. No problem. Just — uh let Jerrid know if you need anything from the kitchen.” Ruek shuffled away while you were too busy playing stare off with Kylo’s mask. 

  “You let everyone’s fingers in your mouth, little müna?”

  “What? No. He has me taste test stuff all the time,” gods, this man kept you oversharing at any crumb of attention he gave you, still severely irritated with overgrown mutant though you began to smirk, “is that why you came over here? Are you.. are you jealous?” 

  “You expect me to play cards next to someone’s secretions.”

  “It is, isn’t it? You can play Mr. Keepaway all you want, you think you have this affect on me where you can use me to your will. But you wanna know what I know that you don’t?” 

He didn’t respond, eye twitching, which only aided you, leaning over the counter that Kylo could very easily hop, and this was when he finally met your eyes. Though your traitor of a body screamed with validation, you only grinned.

  “I know this isn’t one sided. What would you do if you knew I fucked him?” You didn’t, of course, but the thought of making The Viper jealous thrilled you to the core, “If I let him cum in my mouth without having to force my jaw open? If he was the one I was fallin—” 

Your chin was grabbed, keeping you still over the counter, your feet almost hovering on the floor. Leather squished your cheeks, his gaze scooping your bravery from you in a single second. 

  “Careful.” The Witcher warned, studying your face, tipping it slightly in his grip, reviving the soreness in your jaw.

  “Or what, Kylo?”

He paused, and for some reason you knew you weren’t going to lack a response this time. Dropping you, he left you to land against the bartop, and his broad shoulders turned toward the small crowd. 

  “Leave.” His voice was a crack of thunder, splitting the customers' relaxation in half.

Most scattered to their feet, afraid of why this King of the Abyss was evicting them, not wanting to take the chance. The men who were brave enough to stay were met with a glint of silver, only to follow, and you heard the silence from valleys away. 

Your eyes darted to find Ruek, there was no living thing in that room except you and Kylo.

If he was even living. 

  “What the hell? What’re you doing? Are you trying to make me lose my job?” He caught your neck again, like it was a new skill he was practicing, then pulled his mask down over his chin.

The whole world stopped. Your breathing was arrested in your lungs, feeling a rush of awareness cut off your circulation and leave you dizzy with the sight of perfect, scarred lips, remembering how earnestly they had caressed your breasts atop of his horse. He was grimacing, wrinkles near his nose as he looked down at you. A lost warning. 

He slammed you into the nearest table, not paying mind to any of the silverware that was under you nor the plates he had just shattered on the floor. Standing between your legs that hung off the end of the it, the fireplace triggered the iridescence of his armor, another engligment to why he wore his title so well. 

You couldn’t stop studying his face, mapping every curve, and you were needy as you leaned up in an attempt to capture his mouth, find every ingredient of what made up this man that haunted you, possessed you. 

Not a ghost, but a demon. 

Just as your lips brushed against the tip of his, your tongue an anxious explorer, he pressed you back down into the oak. 

  “You are mine,” He spat, his lips curling around his teeth as he let the word marinate on his tongue. 

  “No,” you gasped, “f—fuck you, I’m not anyone’s, and you out of everyone has shown me that.” 

  “No? So your cunt isn’t soaked for me right now?” Your thighs pressed together, lips parting just at the words rolled off his venomous tongue, yet you shook your head in pure denial. “Liar. I can smell you. Can practically taste it.” The unoccupied hand ran along the outside of your thigh, under your skirts, til he pinched the fat between his fingers. 

The way his mask hung at his chin was just as sensual as his voice, you didn’t even know how that was physically possible, then again this man broke the rules of reality every time you saw him. He pulled you down further, pressing his hips into yours, “Say it.” 

  “I won’t,” your voice broke with a whine as you felt the bulge in his pants, your legs wrapping around him without a second thought, he smacked your calf, forcing them to hang once more. You groaned, yearning to feel some sort of pressure at your pulsing clit, your body’s temperature spiking by the second. 

  “Hm. We’ll see.” 

The Viper plucked the string that held your bodice together, pulling it until it completely unraveled, your blouse the only thing that hid your perking breasts. You looked down to his gloved hand, then back to him, hair skating over his shoulders, gods-made handles for your undoing. You let out a sigh as he thumbed your nipple through the material, keeping his palm wrapped around your throat. Your hips buckled, finding nothing, the beast keeping his hips perfectly spaced from yours so you couldn’t use him for any sort of pleasure. You felt your blood boiling, and not just from the intricate torture he was inflicting. No man had ever had this affect on you, but he was not any man. 

A low growl came from deep in Kylo’s throat, and your eyes opened, not realizing you shut them in the first place. He was unblinking, watching your reaction as the stitch of his glove rolled around the bud. 

  “Please, Kylo,” you begged, shattering every restraint you had just from seeing him so immersed in you like this, still clothed yet utterly hopeless, knowing he was your only salvation.

  “Say it.” 

You whined, one of your fists hitting the table, not wanting to give into him. But you weren’t the only one suffering. Pulling your top down, he released your tits from their confines, and immediately consumed them. His mouth opened, hot and wet, leaving easy marks as he glided from one to the other, tightening his hand on your neck every time your chittering frame squirmed. 

One of your hands found his hair, and you were surprised when he didn’t pull it from his head. You took the opportunity earnestly, digging your fingers through the raven locks, breaking through knots to find a good grip. He sucked on you like he was getting oxygen straight from your skin, popping a nipple from his mouth only to give the same attention to the other. 

Your cunt was pulsing so badly it hurt, every flutter mocking the emptiness of it, so much that you had to swallow down noises at every flick of the Viper’s tongue. 

Leather fingers danced back down your form, parting your thighs, not hesitating as they peeled your panties from your saturated pussy. The first time you had his cock, you fucked yourself into a rage trying to mimic the way it felt, three fingers wasn’t enough for the fantasy and you knew it. Being so close to that now left you ravenous, forgetting the challenge that was imposed in the first place. 

He ran the tip of his finger down the line of your lips, collecting the juices at the end of it with a single scoop before he pushed it back inside of you. Barely spreading you as he toyed with your entrance, circling and stretching it open, already making wet noises in the emptied inn. 

  “Fuck! I — please fuck me, please. I’ll do anything. Please just — fuck Kylo, please.” The words could barely be made out through insistent whines, he stayed silent, his mouth and finger working diligently to send you over that edge, into the pool of his domination. 

He reached his thumb up to press pressure on your clit, never moving it, while the finger hooked inside of you, and your whole body jerked forward. Kylo quickly put your back in your place, mentally and physically, forcing you to remember his promise. 

  “I’m yours! Okay! I’m yours, puhleaaase, just please…” You couldn’t even properly be convincing, though you meant it, even if you didn’t want to admit it outside of him fucking you sensless. 

He yielded both of his hands, lifting his face from your chest and ridding you of the secure grip you had on his head. Honey yellow eyes surveyed you from your heavy lidded gaze, all the way down to your lifted skirts, then back up again. 

  “Hm. I suppose I need to be more convincing.” In one languid motion, he had your dress above your head, corset falling to the floor with it, leaving you completely bare on top of the main round table in the dead center of your job. Ruek could be watching from the back for all you knew. 

Kylo leered above you, his chest filling, consuming your gaze as much as he did your mind. His teeth pinched the middle finger of his glove, pulling it off with his mouth.

Your stomach flipped. 

He grabbed the amulet that hung at his neck, snapping it off and rolling it around in his hand, examining it the same way he did you. You could swear you saw his eyes glisten with… something, before his focus was back.

The Viper’s large fist started to glow, and soon so did the metal.

Anticipation tickled the back of your neck, your heartbeat similar to an approaching wardrum as it filled your eyes the more you watched, “what’re you doing?” 

  “Showing you.” He didn’t blink.

  “Showing me what?” 

  “Who you belong to.” 

The metal of the viper face was red hot, smoking nearly. He held it between two fingers, grabbing your thigh in one hand and tugging you as you began to crawl up the table. You obediently stilled. 

“Don’t move or we’ll have to do it again.” 

You sucked in a breath of air, senses filling with his scent — pine, mint, leather, the very earth. Just as you did he began to line his cock up with your entrance, rubbing against the folds. He hushed you as you squeaked, and began to lower the medallion down between the hills of your chest. He perfectly lined it up, not having to look twice before he dropped his hand down, and you cried out. The flesh boiled and singed, and the entire map of your skin feeling the aftermath.

The pain was quickly distracted by another as he split you open, a growl being spat between his teeth as his cock sunk all the way into you, giving no time to adjust to the overwhelming size of him. Your nails dug at the stained wood, scratching for some kind of stability as your skin bubbled, painting a gift made by the Viper himself, all while the tip of his dick began to wrack against your cervix. 

Your eyes rolled back completely into your head, nimble fingers finding straps of his armor to hold onto, which only assisted him in beating his hips off of your cunt. He lifted one of your legs over his shoulder, your knee barely making it to curve, it only helped the Witcher angle you to his pillaging. 

The smell of burnt flesh filled your nose, truly you almost forgot about the branding he had just centered on your torso, meeting euphoria with the way his cock worked inside of you. It sent you to another plane, both of his large hands gripping your hips as he forced your smaller frame to bounce off of him. Forks and other leftover dining ware pinched at your back, ridding them off the table the more he pounded you.

His eyes were blazing carnality, encapsulating the definition of primal. 

  “You are mine,” he spoke through each stroke of his hips, dropping the carved metal to hold your body still with the familiar hold on your neck, “every inch of you… you are a hole for me to fuck. And that is all you are.” 

You whined, specks floating in your sight as you kept alert, eyes so heavy with pleasure it was damn near blinding you. 

  “The next time you let another man touch you,” a sharp smack of his hips, pain crawling up your spine, threatening to quite literally break you, “I will fuck you atop of his carcass.” 

Another plunge of his cock and the table was splintering under you, until it snapped in two. Kylo didn’t care — in fact, it was as if it didn’t even happen, the perfect savage beat he was plowing you with was never broken. 

He just used his own body as a kickstand for your lower half, the persistent assault keeping you where he wanted, finding no need in his hands other than to appreciate your body.

Kylo twisted your nipple, sliding across the spot he had just engraved, your lips parting in return. You heard another grunt from him, forcing your dazed focus on his face, which would forever be your most vivid memory, and you couldn’t even bring warning for the orgasm that he was inducing. 

Just as it creeped up, his bare thumb was circling expertly over your swollen knot, breaking the dam. Your climax poured in, walls clenching and milking his cock in the process. 

A gritty groan was dropped into your ear, and it only served as a catalyst to your silent screams, legs shaking while your cunt became much more sensitive. You tried to pull up, away from his relentless motions, he didn’t let you, just chased you along the broken table, filling you to the brim. 

Lewd sounds began to echo with the crackles of the fire, and all you could focus on was him — he was watching his cock go in and out of you, holding your skirts above your waist to get a good view of his slickened dick, pushing him toward his own finale, using you every inch of the way. 

You could barely tell from his face when he finished, you studied the Viper like it was your true passion, fossilizing his mannerisms, expressions, even his voice. You ate up every moment, the threat of them being memories a looming shadow of presence. The tiny twitch of his nose, deep wrinkle of his forehead, subtle signs he was coming apart for you. 

He pulled out of your fluttering cunt, after leaving a lazy kiss on the scabbing mark of possession he’d left, being more gentle with that than any part of you.

Kylo pulled his mask back over his face before he was tucking his cock away. You were almost sad to see it go. 

If he didn’t come back after this, maybe you’d be okay. You looked down at the piece of himself that he permanently placed on you, your finger running on the curve of its open mouth. It didn’t hurt, maybe due to the adrenaline pumping through your veins. By the time you looked back up, he was turned. 

  “What’re you—”

  “Sh.” 

Your lips pressed together, wanting to reach for your dress, yet something about him told you not to move a muscle. 

The door pushed open, a panicked villager entering, tripping over themselves at every step.

  “Help, a monster is attacking the town! It’s killing everyone, my family, please!” 

[gaymershigh]

hi! can i request riddle, ace, epel, deuce, and floyd finding out their male s/o is an age regressor to cope with stress? pls make it fluffy!! (also it's ok if you can't do my request !! /genuine)

Despite this being so long in my inbox for so long, I'm actually pretty excited to do this one, anonnie! However, this is a shorter since I don't fully know about age regressing, sorry about that! ಥ_ಥ

Triggers: none

Riddle, Ace, Epel, Deuce and Floyd discovering their male s/o is an age regressor

He was always the one who gets stressed out from his dorm members so you're probably the one that needs to comfort him if anything but it doesn't mean he doesn't know how to comfort you as well.

But that doesn't mean he automatically knows what to do when he's finds this information about you, though. He has learned several things throughout his garbage childhood but age regression is not one of it.

When Trey said it's been days since you looked drained and tired from what he presumely was because of you studying for the final exam and just prefect duties in general. This got him worried because you're his lover and obviously he doesn't want to see you worried.

When he did check up with you, he was loss for words. There were coloring books everywhere and then there's you connecting dots to finish the drawing of the book.

This is probably the times you are really stressed and of course he wants to help at all cost but he really doesn't know what to do. Of course, with your little explanation, everything gets a little bit easier to handle.

He didn't really have a good parent role models and the only thing that his mother did to him was celebrating his birthdays and sometimes act nice. He's not gonna act like that of course but he might accidentally project what his mother has done to you and if he did, he will be on his knees and apologize.

He'll do research's about things he should do with children/toddler/infant around your age. He wants you to feel fully comfortable on age regressing around him, this could also help him with parenting if you two would ever consider adopting or so.

Dating Ace won't save you from all the chaos and disasters from this school and he DEFINITELY won't stop from causing any trouble and stressing you out unintentionally.

To be honest, you're a whole different breed of alien if you don't get stressed out at the slightest by your boyfriend and friend's shenanigans. Not only do you have to deal with daily disarray but you also have prefect duties to be doing thanks to that deatbead of a principal.

You always run up to the dorm as soon as you had finish your tasks from headmaster. At the first few times you did it he didn't really give one. You probably want to sleep since it's just tiring but as more day passes by, Ace gets more pissed. You have been lessening your time with him and barely even check your phone.

He gets it, you're tired and all but he's a selfish bastard and wants your love 24/7. So when you kept ending your calls with him very early and he HAD it. So when he barged in to your room, my man went stiff. You were just in the middle of playing with some toys until he interrupted your little session.

"Uh, what are you doing?"

Just by telling him you're age regressing, he already knows what's up and what to do for some reason. He be sprinting to Sam's shop, not caring the weird looks he's getting from buying all these children/toddler type stuff. Does he care? HELL NO! You're his top priority at the current moment and this might be some way to spend time, no?

He'll dote and spoil you to bits. You're so cute, there's no way he could ever say no to your little self! Cuddles? Of course! New toys? Definitely! Headpats? Say no more! He'll love you and treat you like the lovely prince.

He sometimes accidentally forget that you can change to your big self and you'll have to remind him. He once treated you like a baby when you're in your bedroom, thinking you are still in your little self. It was awkward and he wished and beg for you to not speak about it ever again.

He was probably forced to take care of a baby in his hometown back then. Though, this doesn't mean he's automatically good at taking care of kids. If anything, he's horrible at it. He hadn't learned much from that babysitting experience.

Now, when he discovered that you age regress, those terrible memories of the baby crying up a storm comes back but this is potentially a time for him to enhance his babysitting skills, maybe? He freaking hopes so, he doesn't want to be a lost cause.

He's the one that always gets stressed and always in the lowest from the VDC practice. The burden that Vil keeps throwing on him makes him so worked up, he doesn't even see you getting also a tiny bit stressed from both manager duties and just watching others getting pressured in general.

You've been holding it back for awhile to turn to your little self in worries of getting caught. He finally notices when Ace asked if you're ok because you seemed like you're struggling with something. He got super suspicious when you kept brushing him off.

He thinks that you're just uncomfortable to talk about in public or it's something so private that even talking about it to your friends is a no-no. So when you're in your bedroom, he'll pester about you to spill the beans.

So when you did and explained to him what age regressing, he just let out a simple "oh". He doesn't know what to do other than asking questions on what you like to do. Please be straightforward with your answer because he's garbage at reading hearts and also just looks tragic when taking care of people younger than him.

He forces you that you're going to be little but in little and have to lock the door if you do because you need to let the stress go. He will also ask you if you're little subtly if your signs of being little is not as obvious.

He will learn how to take care of you and buy the things you like by looking at the things you already have or have a lot of quantity. He's not the best at taking care but he's getting better so give him a clap for that.

No little kid in their right mind would approach him when he's in his middle school days, meaning that he has have not a single interaction with a kid that could be remembered. If anything, they'll run the second he tries to even approach them. Sure, he now has experience with talking to kids but it's so painfully awkward it hurts your soul.

He knows what little space is but only the meaning of it and nothing else. He thought that people only do this because they want to literally go back to old memories which is partly true but that's not enough. You must educate this fool.

Just like Ace, you're not safe from the disasters of the school and your own boyfriend's idiocy. Him being less smart than Ace doesn't help it either. You're the god of patience if you can handle all of the messes both you, your friends and boyfriend have caused. Also again, you're something else if you can handle all the prefect duties from Crowley because he sucks.

You usually have study sessions with him so you can help him get better at history and other subject he sucks at and this could also help you memorise and learn new things as well. Though, you're have been either showing up late or keep coming up with excuses when you just don't attend at all. He's getting really impatient but doesn't want to sound like an asshole so he just deals with it.

You got caught for being little while in call without realizing. He swear he thought he can speak baby/toddler language when he spoke to you when you're still immersed in your little toys.

He ran to your room in Usain Bolt pace to your place, worried sick for you. You were finally back to your original state and explain the situation to avoid any stupid conclusions that he possibly can come up with. He was shocked when he found out this is a way to cope with stress. He asked will it help him too and if he should do it, are you against it or are you all up for it? Your choice.

He googled about how to deal with you when you're little and it miraculously help! Kinda. I mean, he knows what things to but for you and how to kinda get along with your activities. How to dote and actually treat you like your younger self? Eh...not so much but just like Epel, he's learning but not as fast as the purple haired boy. Still, praise him for putting this much effort!

It's known that he's spectacular with kids. Despite his intimidating height, he knows exactly what do without even making a single kid quiver in fear. He's way more experienced than anyone here and knows how to deal with age regressing people without himself even knowing it.

He does know what age regressing fully is just like Ace. Just say the word and he's lock and loaded with bunch of children activities that you two could do. He makes sure he brings the "fun" ones only according to his taste.

Being the manager for the VDC competition is such a burden, you knew it will be stressful but NOT this bad. From listening to others' worries to knowing the fact that there's nothing you can do at all about Vil's strictness. Watching others being in dilemmas while you're forced to sit back, watching your friends and peers at the lowest shatters your heart.

You feel absolutely useless and you hate it and telling your boyfriend about your problems won't help that much either. If anything, you don't want to annoy Floyd by seeing you in such a downer state so what's the best option? Don't spend too much time to the point of showing your problems until VDC is over! Definitely a good horrendous idea.

You didn't really think this through when he gets annoyed that you're being non-commital and looks like you really want to get out of here. He'll let it slide for a bit, thinking you're not in the mood like him sometimes but when it keeps happening consistently, he's had enough. He wants answers asap.

You should've expected him questioning and being unable to hide things from him. Since you know it's technically useless to hide things from him at this point. Might as well tell the whole thing, in a private place of course. There's no way you can let anyone else hear your little secret.

The only thing he asked is to confirm that you're age regressing. Once you say yes, he immediately goes down to business. You want that dino toy? Purchased. You don't know which playdough set you want? Out of stock. You want a kids meal type of food? All ready and served. He's really doing all this for you and wants to spoil you rotten. In exchange for cuddles and some praises of course!

Like I said before, he doesn't want your activities while being little to be quitet and dull. So he bought every single game that suitable at your little self's age and very fun for him. Get ready, because you're going to have a bomb of a time with him!

You could potentially be taller than him but he's going to pick you up and doing little circles like you're an actual baby. He'll coo you and everything, he makes the experience like you're actually back in childhood which is an amazing job.

Since there's people in your dorm thanks to the boot camp and he really wants you to be fully and all, he's going to let you be in his room so you can be his little self. Ain't no way some dumb boot camp will stop you from having a fun time with Floyd!

Can you tell that I got a sudden energy boost when writing Floyd's part? Lol~

-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎

[highkeyweeb]

To start this off on the most positive note I can, I would like to say that I love MHA. It’s a show I was skeptical to watch at first, but hooked me in faster than any anime had in a long time. I became very easily captivated by its characters and its story and can’t wait to see where Horikoshi takes it and the plan he has for it moving forward.

Now on the more upsetting side of things… The MHA/BNHA fandom has, and pardon my French (Aoyama would be disappointed), gone to shit. I first learned about everything that was going on when a friend sent me a Tiktok. They always send me MHA Tiktoks because they know I love them and they always make me smile seeing skits, or cosplay or whatever else people do because they’re showing their love for the fandom. So it undoubtedly shattered my heart when I saw how horrific things are in the fandom right now. Needless to say that’s not what I was expecting when I opened my messages.

I quickly tried to get as informed on the situation as I could (because honestly you should never take any information you get from Tiktok at face value, ALWAYS try to educate yourself more). It led me to a new article, some Twitter posts, and a certain Instagram post.

I’ll say this right now: as a KiriBaku shipper, it would break my heart if KiriBaku, or any other ship for that matter, became canon simply because the author was pressured into pleasing a toxic fanbase.

To be a fan of something isn’t to want it to follow YOUR vision. It isn’t even about being happy about everything that happens in the story. It’s about being involved, and being able to voice your opinions in a healthy, open-minded, and nonjudgemental way. Some people like Bakugo, others do not. Some people aren’t even a fan of the protagonist of the story, AND THAT’S OKAY. You don’t have to love every part of something to be a part of a fandom.

But just because you DON’T love a part of something, or what YOU want hasn’t happened, doesn’t mean that you should ruin the experience for everyone.

Shipping isn’t about ships becoming canon. As a shipper from multiple fandoms, I’ll be the first and hopefully not the last to tell you that. There are wholesome ways to feed your passion for a ship, and there are definitely wrong ways to go about doing that as well. I’ll tell you some healthy ways that I have used for years, and am still guilty of using to this day: fan art, fan fiction, and Tumblr.

Fan art is an obvious one. Not only do you get to see all the cute, romantic, wholesome/unwholesome moments between your ship, but you also get to support amazing creators who are exceptionally talented.

Fan fiction on the other hand, has such a negative connotation to it. On the surface level, 80% of fan fiction is badly written, meaningless sexualization of the characters, and has no structure. But I challenge shippers to look a little deeper, if you love a ship to the point where you want it to become canon, immerse yourself in a universe where that dream can come true! But DON’T push your visions onto other people.

It’s the same with religions, political views, and anything really. We’ve all spent time to develop our unique beliefs, and would hate for others to be violently forcing theirs onto us.

Now on to Tumblr. Yes, I know everyone has their reasons for hating or leaving Tumblr, but it’s a GREAT hub for people to get involved in fandoms in a healthy way. If you know a shipper of any kind, I challenge you again to tell them to try out Tumblr. If not for being a fan of the platform, but to be able to share your love for something in healthy and non-toxic way.

Now that is NOT to say take the toxic comments to another platform. If you or someone you know has commented, tweeted, or posted towards Horikoshi to make your ship canon (in any way shape or form) you are in the wrong. That isn’t the right way to show your adoration for something, no matter how peacefully or harmlessly you think you asked.

Now to get back to the issue at hand, this a very simple case of a few people ruining it for everyone. I wouldn’t be surprised if at this point Horikoshi just abandoned BNHA. It must be on his mind. And no matter how many people are telling you they love you and what you do, somehow your mind always manages to fixate itself on the negative, hateful, and hurtful comments. If you were ever a teenager, you might be able to understand that.

To everyone saying that shippers are ruining the fandom, I understand your anger. And on some level I empathize with it. But do try to understand that it isn’t shippers as a whole that are the source of all this negativity, it’s the select few of them that believe they are so entitled they can get whatever they want. If anyone out there is feeling like they have a right to have a say in things like which ships become canon or what path the story takes, remember: this isn’t your story. This is Horikoshi’s story, his universe, and his tale. He has the right, no… the PRIVILEGE to make it whatever he wants it to be. And I wholeheartedly believe that he will make it nothing short of spectacular.

Holy heck, I know this was way too long and no one read this through to it’s entirety but this was more of just a personal rant to get things that have been on my mind, OFF my mind. I can only hope that someone read what I said and realized something they did wrong, and a way they can change their actions in the future to make not only this fandom, but the world as a whole, a better place.

Have a great day everyone. ❤️ 

P.S. - To everyone saying they’re not gay, or it’s not a romance anime, etc. I want to remind you that not ALL ships are romantic ones. Now in this case I feel like the conversation is strictly talking about romantic ships, but just a reminder in case someone forgot or wasn’t aware. On top of that, there are PLENTY of non-romantic anime that have canonical pairs.

P.S.S. - Just as I was about to post this I thought of another thing: calling shippers mental, disgusting, or f-ed up is EXTREMELY generalizing, and gives an entire community of people a bad name when it’s just a select few. Also downright hating on certain ships because you don’t understand them or they seem outrageous to you is never acceptable, whether you’re a shipper or not. Now of course that’s not to say that you have to like everything but... if you don’t have anything nice to say then just don’t say anything at all. 

This post is as much a message to the entitled shippers of the fandom, as it is to the toxic members of the fandom who turned to using hurtful words to put down those shippers in order to tell them they’re wrong. Two wrongs, NEVER make a right.

Feel free to reblog and add any constructive comments on things you think I may have missed. In a community where there is so much hate being thrown around right now, and people are being looked down upon for something that should be so harmless and simple, I would really appreciate it if there were no hurtful words associated with this post. Let’s go beyond Plus Ultra to make this fandom a better place. 💛

[shinydelirium]

MLQC Season 2 Chapter 5 (Kiro) Part 1 [Hunter Game] & [The Game Starts Now] Translation [CN]

***SPOILERS*** THIS POST CONTAINS HEAVY SPOILERS FOR CONTENT NOT YET RELEASED ON EN SERVER!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!***

Here’s Part 1 translation for MLQC Season 2 Chapter 5 featuring Kiro. 

Enjoy~

-Spoilers below the cut-

[Hunter Game]

The endless red traffic light became a little blurred in the drizzling rain, and I leaned on the steering wheel for a long time.

Since I left the hospital and returned home a few days ago, I have been searching for information about the man in black and the man with dark gray eyes through internal channels.

Five days later, there is still no positive results.

Including that mysterious hunter game, whether it is through B.S. or other gray channels, there has been no news about it.

In a modern society where information is infinitely open, the existence of that man and this game seem to be like a ghost in the fragments of memory.

But I am convinced that they are real. If I couldn’t find it, it must mean that they hid it in such a way that it can’t be explained for the time being.

The red light began to flash and I slowly stepped on the accelerator.

In the face of unknown enemies, I must make adequate preparations for emergencies.

Anna: MC, morning.

MC: Morning, Anna.

I greeted Anna and walked into the office. As soon as I sat down, I saw an invitation letter covered with dark lines lying quietly on the desktop.

I froze for a moment and poked my head out of the office.

MC: Has anyone entered my office?

Minor: I stayed here all night and didn’t see anyone go in.

Willow: Are you sleepwalking?

Minor: I have been working diligently! I’ll have you know that my eyes are rounder than a light bulb!

I ignored their continuous babbling, frowned and went back to the office, staring at the mysterious invitation letter carefully.

MC: What is this again? I must be losing my mind.***T/N: Took some liberties with this***

Suddenly someone knocked on the door. I temporarily pushed the invitation letter under a folder and responded.

Anna: Are you busy?

MC: Go ahead.

Anna: I’m here to tell you about the release of the previous Evol short film.

Anna: It’s almost as you expected. Although people are still at the peak of anxiety, it does play a positive role.

Anna: Public opinion on the Internet has gradually shifted to the direction of rational thinking and discussion, and the image of the inverted Smile Film and Television Company has also been slightly improved.

MC: That’s great….

Anna: However, for safety reasons, I think the company should be more cautious in handling Kiro’s itinerary.

MC: Don’t worry, I’ll pay attention.

After Anna left, I took out the invitation letter. I carefully observed that there was nothing suspicious around the envelope and slowly opened it.

“Dear Miss MC, you are welcomed to join this hunter game that never stops singing.”

“You don’t have to know the location, content, or anything about the game.”

“You are the game itself.”

MC: “Hunter Game”?!

I checked the text repeatedly and my fingers became cold.

This cannot be a coincidence. Is there any omission due to the investigation in the past few days?

I inadvertently gripped the delicate letter until it wrinkled. If this is not some sick joke, then it is not so much an invitation but an arrogant and conceited provocation.

The sudden ringing of a phone pierced my ears and made me tremble.

I squeezed my palms and froze for four to five seconds before slowly picking up the phone.

On the screen, the words “Kiro” were awaited me quietly.

Kiro: Boss?

The familiar voice came from the other side of the phone and made me slowly relax.

MC: It’s me.

Kiro: Is something wrong? Your voice doesn’t sound right.

MC:….I’m fine! Just thinking about things.

Kiro: Such as?

MC: Such as….what are you going to do next time.

MC: You have a good nesting ground of ideas! ***T/N: Took some liberties with this line***

Kiro: Wait for me to show you the mushrooms I planted these days!

Kiro: This one on top of my head is new!

Imagining the mushroom growing on Kiro’s head, I couldn’t help laughing.

Kiro: I wrote a song at home these past few days and I will send it to you when the demo is ready.

MC: In that case, I’m looking forward to it.

Kiro: When my ban is lifted in a few days, I must have a big meal!

Kiro: Do you have anything in particular you want to eat?

MC: If you’re not afraid of snitching on me to Savin, I choose hot pot.

Kiro let out a little laugh on the other end of the phone. I can already imagine how absolutely loyal this hot pot fan is.

Kiro: By the way, did you receive anything special recently?

My heart thudded. I looked down at the invitation letter in my hand and touched my mouth.

MC: Kiro, have you.....ever heard of a hunter game?

*something breaks*

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, the sound of glass shattering came to my ears.

Kiro: How would you know about this?!

MC: ….I received an invitation letter today. It should be considered the “special thing” you just asked about.

His voice became extremely fast, but suddenly turned sporadic. The sound of static gradually covered Kiro’s words.

MC: What are you saying? I can’t hear you clearly!

I heard a restless and strange, low frequency sound from my right and I stiffly casted my eyes on the wall.

A silver arc stretched along the wall, making an oval that was exactly the right size for a person to pass through.

I suddenly found that I have lost my strength to move, and my head felt dizzy. In my blurred vision, a man seemed to come out from the other end of the wall.

In the last second before losing consciousness, I struggled to grasp his hand and saw a pair of dark gray eyes and a slate symbol full of thorns.

[The Game Starts Now]

….So cold.

The cold woke me.

When I opened my eyes, I noticed that most of my body was immersed in water.

The frigid river water made my whole body very stiff. If I had slept for even a few more hours, I might have frozen to death here.

I struggled to get up and knelt on the bank to look around.

Dark clouds occupy the entire sky and I am in, what looks like, an endless dense forest . Rain is falling lightly.

As I slowly approached the big tree by the waterside, some cold, hard object gingerly brushed my neck.

I stretched out my hand and realized that a metal collar was around my neck.

MC: What is this….

As if responding to my question, the metal collar suddenly glowed. Before my eyes,  a weird projection screen appeared.

A thorny “8” symbol appeared in the center of the screen display. The beginning and the end of the symbol didn’t seem right but from certain angles, they seem to overlap.

It looked never-ending.

Electronic voice: Dear players, welcome to the game arena of the first level of the ninth area of the Hunter Game.

Electronic voice: It is 6:07:19 in the afternoon. You can confirm the latest time at any moment by saying “Current Time.”

Some brisk male voice sounded from the metal collar. Following his introduction, a miniature map appeared on the projection screen with dozens of red dots.

Amongst them, there is a red dot flashing faintly, and its location is just by the river.

Electronic voice: The metal collar is equipped with a GPS positioning system. The flashing red dot is where you are. You can get map information at any time through the command “Open map.”

Electronic voice: The metal collar will record the points you earned, and the rewards gained will also be communicated he--

*something blows up*

An explosion interrupted his words, and faint black smoke rose slowly, diagonally in front of me. Before long, it disappeared into the rain.

Electronic voice: Hunter No. 3 died, his points were cleared.

Electronic voice: Out.

MC: What happened? What is he saying?

My heart was beating fast, and cold sweat was slightly oozing from my back.

Electronic voice: I hope everyone can listen to the introduction before taking any action.

Electronic voice: If the metal collar is damaged by external force, it will automatically detonate, so please don’t attempt it lightly.

Electronic voice: Here, any consequences of non-compliance with the regulations will be reinforced by you.

Electronic voice: The top 3 players can advance to the next level of game play and get the first round of game rewards at the same time.

Electronic voice: If you fail to advance, there is a chance to leave safely or to challenge again.

Electronic voice: But if you are unfortunately “eliminated” in the game….

Electronic voice: You will disappear from this world.

Electronic voice: We express our sincere welcome to your arrival and wish you victory in the game.

The brisk voice stopped and the bright blue casting screen closed.

My fingers were shaking. I kept taking deep breaths, pulling at my stiff fingertips again and again.

I touched my thigh and found that the anesthesia gun and knife hidden on one side were still there.

In the last second before I lost consciousness, I saw the man with the dark gray eyes, a playful smile on his lips.

This person was not only related to the illegal drugs, but also brought me into this game. He also didn’t seem to shy away from appearing in front of me.

MC: What a conceited person.

Although it was unexpected, I have the opportunity to get acquainted with this hunter game that lives in illusion.

I knew I was unable to remove the metal collar, so I didn’t try to destroy it, Instead, I dragged my heavy body and walked into the depths of the forest.

The most important thing now is to find a safe place, take a good rest and organize the information that was given.

On the previously displayed map, there are a few red dots that are very close to me.

Are they the other participants?

I only hesitated for a moment, then took another step.

In the broadcast just now, that person didn’t say how to earn points but….

My pace is getting faster and faster, recalling the picture of Lu Kang running with scars on his body.

The electronic voice said that the player was out, and my scalp began to turn numb.

*gunshot*

A bullet swiftly grazed the side of my shoe. I lost my balance, and I instantly fell to the ground.

But I didn’t have any time to hesitate. As I fell, I immediately rolled back to a trunk on the right.

MC: Cough…!!

I immediately covered my mouth with my hand, and couldn’t help but feel nauseous and wanted to retch.

??: Open map.

As a middle-aged man’s hoarse voice spoke, a bright blue light flashed from the lower left corner of my peripheral vision, which was quite obvious in the dark forest.

The heavy footsteps slowly approached where I was, and I gritted my teeth and tried to keep myself quiet.

At the same time, I took out my knife and quietly cut a small piece of clothing.

I gently inserted the piece of cloth into the gap in the trunk, making the illusion that I was still staying in place. And in the next instant, he threw a knife sharply towards the light-emitting place.

??: Shit!! ***T/N: I’m sure this is a curse word from the original CN text XD***

As the bright blue light disappeared, I quickly rolled to the other side.

*multiple gunshots*

A continuous line of gunfire rained down upon the place where I just hiding. The harsh bullets ripped through the air, and I hugged my head and ducked behind another nearby tree.

The shooting finally ended. Perhaps the man ran out of ammunition. The terrible smell of burning trees hung in the air.

The man seemed to be worried that the screen light would give away his position in advance. In order to confirm the result of shooting me down, he didn’t open the map again and walked over.

My left hand tightly wraps around my right hand to keep it from shaking too much.

I know that there is only one chance.

I stealthily grabbed my anesthesia gun, waiting for the sole opportunity.

A man who appeared to be in his forties showed up in my field of vision. He was wearing a vest with a bag on his back. He held the submachine gun on his shoulder as if he was holding a winning ticket.

Seeing the open space littered with only bullet marks, the man was clearly taken aback. When he turned around, he saw me hiding in the shadows and holding a gun.

I didn’t hesitate. The narcotic bullet hit the man’s arm instantly. He held his arm in horror, and ran while pointing the cold gun at me.

It’s a pity that he didn’t have a chance to pull the trigger. In the next second, he fell backward and collapsed onto the ground, unconscious.

Electronic voice: Hunter No. 29 attacked successfully, scored 5 points.

I was panting, trying to stand up, but found that I couldn’t move at all. I beat my thighs repeatedly, gritted my teeth and stood up.

The medicine in this anesthesia gun would bring down even an elephant within 10 seconds.

At this time, I am extremely grateful to this arrogant messenger, and thank him for leaving me a small chance of survival.

I quickly retrieved my thrown knife and checked to see that there were still bullets in the man’s submachine gun. It was a little heavy but I picked it up and ran deep into the forest without hesitation.

MC: Show location.

The screen only appeared for a moment, and then I turned it off. Fortunately, there are no other red dots nearby.

The sky is getting darker, and the screen’s light can reveal my position earlier than the electronic map.

I found a particularly huge leaf. After thinking about it, I got under the leaf and heaved violently.

The abrasions caused by the tumbling just now started to hurt. The damp weather and soaked clothes made me cold, and my stomach began to ache.

I smiled bitterly and looked into the sky through the gaps in the leaves. This hunter game is more terrifying and dangerous than I thought.

There was movement along the ground and an inexplicable feeling made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Someone is close.

-End of Part 1-

-Continue to Part 2-

[spidernerdsblog]

I Forgot That You Existed : Chapter Nine

A/N: Chapter nine is here. It’s showtime. Kind of a musical chapter. The concert part is completely based on Taylor Swift’s Reputation Stadium Tour you can watch the concert for better visualization of that part. Only one more chapter to go before the epilogue. Hope you like this chapter. Feedback and suggestions are always welcome.

Pairing : Tom Holland × Singer reader

Summary : It's been more than five years since you and Tom have gone their own ways after a heartbreaking breakup which had left both of you shattered. Both of you thought that you were finally over with each other and were happy in your respective lives until you meet again at a reunion trip planned by your best friend and you realize you are still not done with each other.

Warnings : none

Mini Playlist : Are you ready for it, I did something bad, Gorgeous, Delicate, Shake it Off, Style, Love Story,You belong with me, This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things and Cornelia Street by Taylor Swift

After reading out the letter you let out a deep sigh you felt a little giddy as you shakily folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. You sat on the bed immersed in deep thought for how long you don't know. The words written in the letter were constantly reeling in your mind. You felt as if someone had placed a mirror in front of you and you can’t hide from your real self. You were snapped out of your train of thoughts when you heard Harry going off about something. You went out of your room and stood on the corridor upstairs holding on to the railing as you looked down to see everyone gathered. 

"What happened?" 

"Tom is not answering his phone, he said he would return by afternoon and it's almost evening now." Sam said. 

"I'm so done with his careless attitude, what does he think of himself?" Harry grumbled. You puckered your face thinking suddenly you remembered something. 

"Okay guys calm down I know where he could be." You went to your room to grab your bag and came down the stairs. 

"Don't worry I'll bring him back before dinner." You said before leaving. 

The cliff top was the only place you both used to go when you felt down. So you started to walk in that direction. The sun was setting and as you had guessed you could see him from a distance sitting there. You went to one of the stalls and bought two beers before going up to him. 

"I knew I would find you here." You said nonchalantly. Tom turned his head. 

"Oh.. Hey" 

"Why aren't you answering your phone? Everybody is worried for you." 

"Sorry didn't mean to bother anyone." 

"Here." You handed him a beer bottle. As you sat beside him, you clinked your bottles taking a sip you spoke. 

"So how are you doing?" 

"Fine I guess." 

"You wanna talk about it?" 

"No. " You scoff rolling your eyes and grabbed his jaw making him face you. 

"C'mon talk to me"

"There's nothing to talk about Y/N, I'm fine, really fine." You turned your gaze to the horizon letting out a deep breath. 

"Why did you let her go?" you said softly.

"Because that will be best for us." 

"But you were in love with each other." 

"Maybe. Or she was just in love and I was looking for a distraction which I had mistaken as love" 

"See nothing has ended Tom if you want I'll go talk to her and apologize for everything." 

"You don't need to do that, you haven't done anything to apologise. It was all my fault whatever happened today and six year ago I'm to be blamed. My insecurities made me indecisive. For the first time in these six years I have made the right decision." Tom ranted. 

"I'm sorry Y/N I'm really sorry for everything." You placed your hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

"Hey if you're to blame then I'm equally guilty too. Everyone told me to sort out our differences but I didn't. Moreover, I hid the truth about our baby from you and your family. I'm sorry too. And if I wouldn’t have come here in the first place none of this would happen." 

"By the way, sorry for ditching you today at the rehearsals."

"Though I was mad at you before but now it's okay." 

“Is it ok for you to drink cold stuff before your concerts doesn’t it affect the throat?”

“It’s absolutely fine mom. Plus I need it, you know, stress relief.”

"Hey you remember when we were in high school we sneaked out to go to that party our parents told us not to go and got really drunk and your parents caught us late at night when you were trying to get into your house through the window." 

"Oh that was a hell of a night and we got caught all because of Harrison who tripped on one of our flower pots in the backyard breaking it and waking up my parents." You scoffed. 

"Then my parents told both of your parents. And we all got a two hour lecture the next day with one month being grounded." 

"You and Haz always used to fight when we were younger." Tom chuckled

"Yeah because that div had an annoying habit to pull my hair. And you know how much I hate when someone touches my hair" 

"By the way I watched your recent movie it was really good." 

"Thanks" 

"Though I felt the intimate scenes were quite sloppy" you stick out your tongue and chuckle. Tom rolled his eyes.

“Because you weren't there princess I don't get the feel and passion unless it's you.” He winked. You rolled your eyes.

"Your new album really took me by surprise. I was left wondering where did my naive country girl go?" 

"Had to put some people in their place." You gave a sly grin. 

"That was hell of a comeback." 

"Sure it was.. Going by the words of the media, 'PHENOMENAL!', 'RECORD BREAKING!', 'SAVAGE!'." You both giggled. 

"I thought you didn't like my songs."

"Oh C'mon, you believe that?" 

"I haven't been here around six years. A lot of things have changed so who knows?" you shrugged. 

"This feels good... Us together having heart to heart conversations like old times." Tom said. You hummed lacing your fingers with Tom's, resting your head on his shoulder. 

"You sent the VIP passes to Mrs Nelson?" 

"How can I forget our little special guest."

"Vienna is such a sweet girl that reminds me of…" you stopped as memories of when you were going to be a mother flashed in front of you. 

"I don't know why I'm sharing this but we were going to have a girl." You mumbled placing your other hand on your belly. 

"You know the time when Destiny was inside me." You said fiddling with his fingers. 

"Destiny?"

"Yeah I had thought to name her Destiny. I know it's silly." You shrugged. 

"No it's actually cute." 

"Those were the most precious moments of my life. A tiny speck of life growing inside me that we made, accidentally though.” You gave a low laugh.

“Motherhood is a whole new feeling.She would have been the same age as Vienna and maybe we would have been celebrating her 5th birthday here." You said with a hardened gaze. 

"Sometimes I really feel she might have known that I'm going to be a horrible mother that's why she left me." 

"Hey don't you ever think like that you would have been the best mom." Tom said with a serious tone looking at you.

"Hmm.. I really missed you." You snuggled into him. 

"I missed you too." Tom pecked on your hairline. 

"So what did you actually miss about me?" 

"Umm.. let me think, I definitely missed the face you made after losing in golf. You were such a cry baby" you chuckled.

"You are never letting that go aren't you?"

"Nope" 

"Then I missed your half burnt pancakes." 

"I missed your soft curls and I mean it" you ruffled his hair with your hand. 

"I honestly hated your buzz cut. It was so depressing for me to see you without the curls I adore so much. I felt so angry on the Russos I thought of giving them an earful for why they made you cut your hair." 

"But I felt really good, no need for styling. And what about you? You also cut your hair short." You straightened yourself. 

"Hey! That's a bob cut that has nothing to do with your buzz cut. I atleast had hair on my head." You retorted. 

"Okay.. what other things you missed?" 

"I missed your unruly eyebrow" you brushed your thumb over his eyebrow. 

"I missed your crooked nose." You booped his nose with the tip of your index finger. 

''I missed your smile and your soft lips" your hand rested on his cheek. 

"And?" Tom said in a low voice your faces were inches apart as you breathed heavily.

" I..I" you stuttered as you glanced at his lips. Tom licked his lips watching you enigmatically. You cleared your throat and pulled away immediately. 

"Never mind what did you miss about me huh?" Tom was snapped out of his trance as he blinked his eyes a few times. 

"What did I miss?" 

"Uh.. I missed watching sunsets like this with you." 

"I missed the priority access to your new album and listening to them up close. You are still not going to tell me about the song you are going to sing in the end are you?"

"Nope you have to wait mister that's a surprise. Okay now continue" 

"Well I missed this adorable face, I missed these beautiful eyes which could read me like an open book, I missed this captivating smile which can light up my whole day, I missed you so much." He tucked in the loose strands of your hair flying in the sea breeze behind your ear. 

"Y/N I.. I" 

"No Tom, don't say those words. Don't make it harder for me to leave than it is already." 

"Then don't leave." Tom hold on to your hand. 

"We don't have a choice Tom." You got up. "Now come on let's go back before everyone gets even more stressed than they are already for us." 

Your heart crumbles under the weight of the fact that the love you share isn't enough for either of you. You could finally tell that you want to live your life with him. But you don't want to get carried away with the misconception of proclamation of love equates to a happily ever after. You know your realities are not aligning. 

Tom stood up and laced his fingers into yours. You smiled and gave a little squeeze to his hand as you both walked down the road hand in hand. 

Tom looked at you intently. He wanted to hold on to you tighter and believe that maybe this time things would work out as he had dreamed of once but he knew you had let go long before that. You are hurt and scared to fall in love again. And he is desperate to try and make you realize that your long lost love is still alive and wants to come back to you. You just need to open your arms and embrace it. 

"Here I brought back your brother safe and sound." You said reaching home. 

"Why do you have a phone if you're not going to answer it?" Harry scolded Tom. 

"Okay it was my fault I'm sorry." 

"Guys I have an announcement. As you know tomorrow is my concert so I have arranged VIP passes for you guys." Everyone cheered. 

………………….......

Next day went really fast as the time came for your concert. Thousands of people waiting on the ground just to get a glimpse of you and listen to your songs. Your heart was racing even after performing so many concerts the anticipation was killing you as you got ready looking into the mirror touching up your makeup for the one last time. 

"Y/N are you ready?" Tom said, his jaw dropped as you turned around. 

"Wooww! You.. You look ravishing." You giggled. 

"Thanks Tom." 

"Okay it is going to start in five minutes. Don't worry everything will be fine, I will be there backstage." 

"Tom, Tom, relax , you seem to be more stressed than me. I have done this before a lot of times. You just enjoy the show, I got this." 

The stage was set, the stadium was full, the crowd cheering at the top of their voice as the show began. 

Pre recorded song playing

Baby, let the games begin

Let the games begin

Let the games begin

Baby, let the games begin

Let the games begin

Let the games begin

The screen doors slide open as you enter the stage. Audience went crazy cheering loudly. You stood in the center and pulled down your hood of the jacket you were wearing and started singing.

“Knew he was a killer first time that I saw

 him loved and left haunted

But if he's a ghost, then I can be a 

phantom

Holdin' him for ransom

Some, some boys are tryin' too hard

He don't try at all, though

Younger than my exes but he act like such a man, so

I see nothing better, I keep him forever

Like a vendetta-ta

I-I-I see how this is gon' go

Touch me and you'll never be alone

I-Island breeze and lights down low

No one has to know

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

You should see the things we do, baby

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

I know I'm gonna be with you

So I take my time

Are you ready for it?

Me, I was a robber first time that he saw me ............”

You continued singing. After the song ended you paused to look at the whole stadium as the audience cheered loudly. You peeled off the jacket to reveal the bodysuit you were wearing. The notes for your next song started playing.

“I never trust a narcissist

But they love me

So I play 'em like a violin

And I make it look oh so easy

'Cause for every lie I tell them

They tell me three

This is how the world works

Now all he thinks about is me

I can feel the flames on my skin

Crimson red paint on my lips

If a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing

I don't regret it one bit, 'cause he had it coming

They say I did something bad

Then why's it feel so good?

They say I did something bad

But why's it feel so good?

Most fun I ever had

And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could

It just felt so good, good”

Fireworks went off, it was spectacular to watch. 

"Holyy!! Shit!! Man she's literally a queen. Just look at her." Ed exclaimed. Everyone agreed to him as they all witnessed you in your full glory from the VIP seating area. 

“That’s my girl!!!” Zendaya exclaimed.

“I never trust a playboy

But they love me

So I fly him all around the world

And I let them think they saved me

They never see it comin'

What I do next

This is how the world works

You gotta leave before you get left

I can feel the flames on my skin

He says, "Don't throw away a good thing"

But if he drops my name, then I owe him nothin'

And if he spends my change, then he had it comin'

They say I did something bad

Then why's it feel so good?

They say I did something bad

But why's it feel so good?

Most fun I ever had

And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could

It just felt so good, good

It just felt so good”

(Loud cheers from the audience.)

"Well good evening Cornwall!! And welcome to the Reputation extended Stadium tour beach carnival concert." 

"You know guys I have been coming to this area since I was about 15 years old. So it's a good long history between us. And I want to say thank you for a few things. First of all having been to Cornwall as many times as I’ve been here, I know how many things are available for you to do on a Saturday night. You have lots of options and you decided to spend your Saturday evening with us. Thank you so much!!" Audience cheers loudly.

"You may have heard this. It’s a little known fact. This is the last night of the beach festival and my tour." audience cheering. 

"And so you decided not only to spend your Saturday night with us, but to come here and commemorate the last night of the festival. That is such a beautiful thing."

"Thank you for deciding all of those things tonight. I would even say it’s something even more than beautiful. It’s like a step above beautiful. What’s the word for that, Cornwall?"

Voice echoes "Gorgeous"

"That’s the one." You chuckle. 

Notes of Gorgeous playing

“You should take it as a compliment

That I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk

You should think about the consequence

Of your magnetic field being a little too strong

And I got a boyfriend, he's older than us

He's in the club doing, I don't know what

You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much (I hate you so much)

Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine

You've ruined my life, by not being mine

You're so gorgeous

I can't say anything to your face

'Cause look at your face

And I'm so furious

At you for making me feel this way

But, what can I say?

You're gorgeous

You should take it as a compliment

That I'm talking to everyone here but you (but you, but you)

And you should think about the consequence

Of you touching my hand in the darkened room (dark room, dark room)

If you've got a girlfriend, I'm jealous of her

But if you're single that's honestly worse

'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts

(Honey, it hurts)

Ocean blue eyes looking in mine

I feel like I might sink and drown and die”

You're so gorgeous

I can't say anything to your face

'Cause look at your face

And I'm so furious

At you for making me feel this way

But, what can I say?”

"And now Cornwall I would like to introduce you to the incredibly talented gorgeous women of the tour." 

"Make some noise!!!" the audience cheered. 

"For Jazz!, Maria!, Gracie!, Kamilah!, Jeslyn!, Melanie!, Nadine!, Stephanie!, Yoe!, Eliotte!" 

"And I'm Y/N." 

"Thanks for hanging out with us tonight!" 

You resumed singing. 

(Medley of Style, Love Story and You belong with me.) 

As the song ended the crowd erupted in cheers you looked up to the whole stadium smiling. You turned your back to the audience and strolled sensually and again turned around throwing your voice to a higher pitch.

“You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye

And I got that red lip, classic thing that you like (crowd screaming)

And when we go crashing down, we come back every time

'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style

You've got that long hair slick back, white t-shirt

And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt

And when we go crashing down, we come back every time

'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style

Midnight, you come and pick me up, no headlights

Long drive, could end in burning flames or paradise

Fade into view, oh,

It's been a while since I have even heard from you

(Heard from you)

And I should just tell you to leave 'cause I

Know exactly where it leads but I

Watch it go round and round each time”

''Cornwall will you please make some noise for my incredible band?!" crowd cheered. 

“We were both young when I first saw you

I close my eyes and the flashback starts

I'm standin' there

On a balcony in summer air

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns

See you make your way through the crowd

And say, "Hello"

Little did I know

That you were Romeo, you were throwin' pebbles

And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"

And I was cryin' on the staircase

Beggin' you, "Please don't go, " and I said

Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone

I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes"

Chords of you belong with me playing......

“Oooooh, I remember you drivin' to my house

In the middle of the night

I'm the one who makes you laugh

When you know you're 'bout to cry

And I know your favorite songs

And you tell me 'bout your dreams

Think I know where you belong

Think I know it's with me

(audience cheering)

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?

Been here all along, so why can't you see

You belong with me

"Let me see you jump!!" You jumped in your place singing, the audience jumped along with you too.

“Standin' by and waitin' at your back door

All this time, how could you not know, baby

You belong with me

You belong with me

You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe

You belong with me

You belong with me”

Loud cheering as you bowed and went backstage. 

"Man she could wage a war against the world just look at the crowd." Harry joked.

"Couldn't be more proud of her. She has come a long way" Harrison said

“I knew how much you love to sing that song” Tom quipped handing you a water bottle. 

“Fuck off!” Tom chuckled. You quickly slipped on to a new costume and went back to the stage. You performed a couple of songs from your album.

(soft notes playing in background) audience cheering

"I LOVE YOU Y/N!!!" A fan screamed. You smiled. 

"Are you having fun yet?" You listen to the audience scream yes.

"Oh good.. You know you may notice this…"

"Not sure if you  picked up on it yet I'm pretty sure you have, though. Have you noticed that you have a light up bracelet on your wrist?" the whole gallery got lit up as everyone raised their hands. 

"There they are." Crowd cheered. 

"So pretty." 

"Um… but that's not the only thing about them, the reason why I wanted to have those on the tour to make sure no matter what I would see every single one of you in these stadiums. So if you are on the top, top deck, last row and you think I can't see you that would be incorrect. I can see every one of you dancing, throwing your hands up in the air. And the top of that I can hear you… "

"It really seems you guys have memorised every single word to the songs and so not just singing them but like…." 

"Screaming them." 

"If I had to take a guess I would say one thing that probably everybody has in common I think I would say that one thing would be…" 

"That all like the feeling of finding something real like… you know finding real friendships, real love or somebody who really gets you or somebody who is really honest with you." 

"I think.. I think that's what we're really all looking for in life and…" 

"I think the things that can scare us the most in our lives are the things that we think will threaten the prospect of us finding something real. For ex- having a bad reputation in our mind would get in the way of you… Finding real friendship, real love, real acceptance, people you really fit in with because you think to yourself what if they've got the preconceived notion about me that they heard from gossips and rumors." 

You sang Delicate whilst you got up a hydraulic suspended stage. You waved to the crowd taking a tour of the whole stadium in it. As the song ended you were back again on the stage. 

"Allright Cornwall, I… just decided to go… A little exploring around to see… If you guys are having a good time back there." you walked around the stage.

"Are things fun back here? Alright well would you dance with me?! What do you say?!"

“I stay out too late, got nothin' in my brain

That's what people say, mmm hmm, that's what people say, mmm hmm

I go on too many dates, but I can't make 'em stay

At least that's what people say mmm mmm, that's what people say mmm mmm

But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving

It's like I got this music in my mind, sayin' it's gonna be alright

'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play

And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off

Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break

And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off

I'll never miss a beat, I'm lightning on my feet

And that's what they don't see mmm mmm, that's what they don't see mmm mmm

I'm dancing on my own (dancing on my own), I'll make the moves up as I go (moves up as I go)

And that's what they don't know mmm mmm, that's what they don't know mmm mmm

But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop grooving

It's like I got this music in my mind saying it's gonna be alright

'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play

And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate..........

You sang as you climbed up an elevated platform. 

Hey, hey, hey”

“Just think while you've been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats in the world

You could have been getting down to this sick beat

My ex-man brought his new girlfriend

She's like "Oh my God", but I'm just gonna shake it

And to the fella over there with the hella good hair

Won't you come on over, baby, we can shake, shake, shake, yeah oh”

You were about to do a free fall as the dancers below raised their arms to catch you but you stopped. 

"Nah...No, one second. I don't care if this is a promotional concert, I'm not gonna jump off from here. Sometimes people can get bitten by snakes.. dangerous." The audience laughed. Tom facepalmed laughing at your antics in the back stage. You came down running from the elevated platform panting as you went to the centre and let out a high pitched shriek. 

“Yeeeeaaahhh!!!” 

'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play

And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate (haters gonna hate me)

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off

Song fading away. You went for another costume change and came back with your guitar and addressed the crowd. 

"So you guys I was wondering if, um… If it would be all right with you if we just had a…

You were cut off by Joseph who came up to you and handed you a tissue bending down on his knee. 

"Thank you so much…" you took the tissue. "There's a.." 

"I feel like it's important to be honest with you guys. I have a tiny miniscule cold. Do not mind this.. This is just gonna be me blowing my nose. I'm gonna turn around and do it." 

You turned around and blew your nose. Then you hand over the tissue back to Joseph. 

"But I what.. I really think it was all good to take note of how Joseph presented me with the tissue. This is the best thing I have ever seen. Never in my lifetime has anyone presented me a tissue with such commitment."

"Umm so okay guys wanna talk to you about something. I propose the idea that we spend some time with just you and me and the guitar." 

"Is that alright with you?" 

"So one thing that you guys have always been.." 

"Really uh…" 

"Really not just supportive about but you've, um… Cause that sounds like you were understanding of it." 

"You've really encouraged me to experiment with my music and try different things, different sounds, try different instruments. "

"Um… you guys were always the ones pushing me to experiment and grow. And I really appreciate that." 

"Cause…" 

"I have had so much fun, switching up you know, styles of music, genres… um.."

"My relationship with you and how much we interact on social media platforms, at shows or at my house." 

Fans scream

"I am.." you chuckle

"I know from our conversations that you guys are so all about lyrics and all about feeling, all about whatever that the person you listen to is singing about what you happen to be going through, or did go through at some point in time, I.." 

"I think that's kind of all you care about when it comes to a song. So I've always written songs with the lyrics, the feeling and the melody in mind. That no matter whatever it took a turn after production be it pop or acoustic or whatever. I always wanted for a song to be able to be stripped back down and still be something that you liked and wanted to sing at the top of your lungs." 

"So before leaving I wanted to gift you guys something."

"You guys are going to be exclusively listening to an all new song from my upcoming unreleased album." 

The audience roared. 

You started playing the guitar and closed your eyes as you sang. 

“We were in the backseat

Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar

"I rent a place on Cornelia Street"

I say casually in the car

We were a fresh page on the desk

Filling in the blanks as we go

As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead

Leading us home”

You pour your heart out as you sing. 

“And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name

And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again”

Tom listened to the song carefully as he understood why you said it was a surprise. Because this song tells the story of you, him and the love you share. 

“Windows swung right open, autumn air

Jacket 'round my shoulders is yours

We bless the rains on Cornelia Street

Memorize the creaks in the floor

Back when we were card sharks, playing games

I thought you were leading me on

I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street

Before you even knew I was gone”

The memories of six years ago flashed in front of both of your eyes. The day when all went wrong, the day you parted ways and left. 

“But then you called, showed your hand

I turned around before I hit the tunnel

Sat on the roof, you and I

I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again”

You had tears in your eyes. 

“And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name (city screams your name)

Your voice went an octave higher. You want to bid adieu to this place as it only reminds you of him. The memories haunt you.

And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

You hold my hand on the street

Walk me back to that apartment

Years ago, we were just inside

Barefoot in the kitchen

Sacred new beginnings

That became my religion, listen”

You were transported to that time when you were together so in love with each other. Those lazy mornings you wearing one of his sweatshirts sitting on the kitchen counter looking at him making breakfast for you. So domestic it felt as you hoped to wake up to him like this everyday for your lifetime. 

“I hope I never lose you

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

Oh, never again

And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name

And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

I don't wanna lose you, hope it never ends

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

I don't wanna lose you, yeah

"I rent a place on Cornelia Street"

I say casually in the car”

You bowed in front of the audience smiling after the song ended.Tom wiped his tears as he watched you through the monitors in the backstage. 

Fans screamed in excitement. 

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things started playing in the background.

"Thank you so much for an incredible evening and an amazing tour. We love you." 

"Please give it up for the dancers!"

"Make some noise for the singers, Cornwall!"

You bowed

"Give it up for the band!" 

The whole team bowed in gratitude. You walked the lengths of the stage waving at the crowd and blowing air kisses. You ran to the other end waving and giving flying kisses. You went to the centre of the stage and bowed for one last time. As the stage descended, taking you down the stage as you waved goodbye and mouthed to the audience. 

"I love you guys"

As the show ended you went backstage and everyone hugged you and applauded for the marvelous show you put up, someone handed you a bottle of water to drink. But your eyes were searching for only one person and as you caught sight of him you ran to him. Tom was standing at a corner, arms crossed across his chest, smiling his eyes showed how much proud he was of you. You went and hugged him tightly. Tom gave a light peck on your cheek. 

"Darling, that was so good. Didn't know you were such a big star, you literally set the stage on fire." he said cupping your face. 

"Couldn't have done that without you. Thank you Tom. Love you so much. You kissed him on his cheek." Tom couldn't ignore the fact that unknowingly you told him you loved him. 

"Okay I'm going to get changed and join you at the little party the crew has thrown okay." You left. 

But Tom was in no mental condition to enjoy a party, not after listening to your confession. He felt time was slipping out of his hands as he could not hold you back. He straight away went home. 

You went to the hall where the party was arranged, you didn't find Tom there. 

"Hey Maria where's Tom?" 

"He went back" 

"Went back? Why?" 

"Don't know honey, you enjoy the party, this is all for you." You felt something was off. 

"Sorry Maria I need to leave too. You guys enjoy." 

Tom was the first one to return to the house. Others came back a while later. 

"Y/N just nailed it" Paddy chirped. 

"Can we have some dinner now? I'm starving" Tuwaine complained.

Everyone headed towards the kitchen as Harrison's eyes went to Tom. He was standing on the porch. He frowned and made his way towards him. 

"Hey man what's up?! The concert was damn good! Weren't you supposed to be with Y/N for the after party?" Harrison asked. Tom turned his eyes puffy red with tears. 

"Bro what's the matter?"

"Harrison I can't let her go, not this time." Tom sobbed. 

......................................

Taglist:To be added send me an ask I’ll be happy to add you in the following chapters.

@sleepybesson​ @sophs-library​ @spideyparkerstark​ @itstaskeen​ @milli86​ @biebsmylife95​ @quaksonhehe​ @hannahholland1811​ @awhollandx​ @joyleenl​  @greatpizzascissorstaco​ @tomhollandsotherpinkytoe​ @jjandreidsgirl​ @brighterthanthesunx​ @marvelpeters​ @panicattheeverywherekid​ @onewithnomightypowers​ @itsnotmeh24  @bitchinwpei @astridcommings @hollandprkr​  @hollandsobrien​ @timotayswriter​ @kiki-hines​ @casualprincess77​ @spideyth​ @perspectiveparker​ @thevelvetseries​

[mysingularitybts]

Bonding Time || M.YG || One-Shot

Pairing: Min Yoongi x child!OC

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

Bonding Time 

Min Yoongi sat in his studio with his headphones on. He was working on the beats for a new song, he had been sitting at his desk staring at the screen since 4 am and it was now noon. His eyes burned, yet he ignored the feeling as he kept working.

Work helped him clear his mind so when he found himself not being able to sleep he went to his trusty studio to be productive and get the day started.

He was concentrated on the music playing through the headphones, he was stuck in his little world when suddenly his headphones were ripped out of his head bringing him back to reality. Startled and ready to scold whoever had done it he turned in his chair with a frown and his eyebrows furrowed, but the moment his eyes landed on the person his expression turned to one of surprise.

There she was, Lee Mi-Sun. She stood as beautiful as ever, yet a scowl marred her features. If looks could kill he would be 6 ft. in the ground.

"Why haven't you been receiving my calls?" she asked furiously.

Yoongi had been so immersed in his work he hadn't checked his phone in a few hours. He was sure if he checked there would be numerous missed calls and texts not only from Mi-Sun but from his bandmates too.

He was still shocked at the presence of his ex-girlfriend in his studio; it had been a while since she had been to the place, but it wasn't rare. No, it wasn't, you see while they had broken up two years ago they kept an amicable relationship, they always kept in touch even if it broke Yoongi's heart. The heartbreak caused by the woman in front of him resulted in Yoongi spending too much time in the studio trying to get over her, but he doesn't think he has yet.

Their relationship was good, it had lots of love and passion, but as time went on the passion started dimming, and eventually so did the love. They cared for each other, yet they didn't have it in themselves to keep the relationship going. Yoongi was hurt since the beautiful relationship they had built shattered into nothing. He was scared he wouldn't be able to have another relationship since his and Mi-Sun's didn't work out and they had everything they could have ever wanted.

She was the perfect friend, perfect companion, perfect girlfriend, and most importantly a perfect mother. Yes, mother. Mi-Sun was the mother of his child, a three-year-old named Mi-Hi. He was so proud to have picked the name, it meant beautiful joy. It suited the baby perfectly because she was his beautiful joy. Mi-Hi brought so much happiness to his life it was undescribable.

At first, when he found out he was going to be a father he was surprised. He never thought about it, but it had happened. Time went on and he got more and more excited. It was one of the best times in his life, but after Mi-Hi turned one his relationship with Mi-Sun went downhill. The separation took a toll on him not only because of the heartbreak, but because he wasn't able to see his daughter as often.

Soon enough work got hectic again, he and Mi-Sun took a break from each other to pick up the pieces of their failed relationship which in turn led him to get even more invested than before in his work causing him to see little Mi-Hi less and less.

Two years have gone by and he was sad to say he hasn't seen much of Mi-Hi, the first few months after the breakup she stayed with him, but only for a few days. He made sure to visit now and then but they are short visits. He does try to call often but it doesn't always work out. Last he remembered it had been around two months since he'd seen her.

His thoughts were interrupted when Mi-Sun snapped her fingers in his face.

"Yoongi, are you in there?" she questioned annoyed at the lack of response. She stood in front of Yoongi, arms crossed and leg tapping on the floor. Tap. Tap. Tap.

"Yeah, sorry," Yoongi responded, shaking his head, "My phone was on vibrate."

"Whatever, listen I'm worried," she revealed with knit brows.

"Why what's wrong? Are you okay? Is Mi-Hi okay?" Yoongi worried about the mother and daughter.

"Yes, we are all okay, but I'm worried about your relationship with Mi-Hi, Yoons," hearing that nickname come from her mouth did things to him. It made his heart ache for something that wasn't there.

"You haven't seen her in almost three months. I think it would be good if you stayed with her for a few days," Mi-Sun spoke softly explaining her worries to Yoongi.

"I hadn't realized it's been that long," Yoongi spoke realizing his mistake.

"Yes, it has. I'm afraid she doesn't know who you are anymore," Mi-Sun confessed with sadness in her voice.

Even though Yoongi and her had broken up she still cared a lot about him and his relationship with their daughter. She knew it wasn't his intention to let time pass, she knew more than anyone how much he could get lost in his job. So, she was there to pull him back to reality.

"I know you call, but she just knows the voice, not the person, she can point up and say 'that's daddy', yet she doesn't know you."

"I understand. I just get so invested sometimes time goes by in a blur," he explained his head hanging low.

"I know, I remember, which is why I'm here," she said with a smile, "I want you to have a good relationship with her, so, I need you to be there more for her."

"I agree," Yoongi nodded looking up at her.

This is what he loved about Mi-Sun; she always tried to understand the situation and what a person might go through.

"So, when do I pick her up?" he asked ready to see his daughter again.

"Um, how do I say this?" Mi-Sun started saying, "She's downstairs with my mom," she revealed with a nervous giggle.

"Oh..." he said in surprise standing up from his chair.

"Yeah, let's go," she waved him over.

"Mi-Sun?" Yoongi called out to her.

She just hummed in response walking beside him to the elevator.

"I'm sorry for not being there more," he spoke softly. He didn't just mean with Mi-hi he also meant with Mi-Sun. He'd do the same in their relationship and she'd always go look for him to drag him back to the apartment so he'd eat and sleep. Also, Yoongi didn't mean to leave her alone to raise their daughter, it wasn't fair.

"It's okay," she answered, "There is still time to fix things...with Mi-Hi."

He hoped she was lying and and said there was still time to fix things between them too because even if two years had passed he still felt strongly for Mi-Sun.

As they got into the elevator Mi-Sun began giving out instructions.

"Okay so bedtime is around 9 pm, she does need a nap at around 2, no sugar after 6, I'm glad to say I managed to potty train her already, but keep an eye out when she goes. Lately, she has been hating strawberries for some reason, make sure her tiger plushy is there when she goes to sleep, got all that?" Mi-Sun fired out quickly. Yoongi swore she could be a good rapper with how quickly she said those things.

He stared at her with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape at all the incoming information. He nodded his head as he tried to engrave the information in his brain to the best of his ability.

Once in the lobby, he saw his little girl in her grandma's lap playing with her hands. He couldn't help but notice how much she has grown in the time he hadn't seen her. The guilt was starting to eat him up.

Looking up Mi-Hi saw her mother and gave her a bright smile waving frantically at her. Mi-Sun went over to her and picked her up, bouncing her along the way. She whispered something in the girl's ear and Mi-Hi's eyes found his. Yoongi gave her a small smile and waved. Mi-hi leaned her face in her mother's neck trying to hide a bit but waved back shyly.

"Baby you will be staying with daddy for a few days, okay?" Mi-Sun asked Mi-Hi softly.

"Okay," little Mi-Hi nodded, staring at her mom.

Mi-Sun's mother came over to Yoongi and hugged him. She had always liked him and was sad to hear about her daughter and his breakup. She gave him two bags filled with Mi-hi's stuff.

"Be good baby," Mi-Sun cooed, tickling the girl's belly.

Mi-Hi giggled as she nodded and hugged her mom and grandma goodbye.

Mi-Sun placed her on the floor and grabbed her hand walking her over to Yoongi.

"Remember to always stay with appa, don't stray away," the mom warned as the little girl nodded furiously.

"I will momma," Mi-Hi answered with a high-pitched voice.

"Goodbye baby, I'll miss you!" Mi-Sun said as she handed her to Yoongi.

"Byee," the little girl responded cutely.

"Bye Mi-Sun," Yoongi spoke.

"Take care of our baby Yoongi," Mi-Sun warned him although she knew it was completely unnecessary. Min Yoongi would rather give his life before letting anything happen to his beautiful joy.

"I will," he responded with a smile.

Once they were gone he looked towards his little girl and held out his hand.

"Let's go to appa's studio Mi-Hi," Yoongi told her awkwardly, not knowing what to do now.

Mi-Hi hesitantly put her much smaller hand in his as they walked towards the elevator.

Yoongi wasn't planning on staying long in the studio with Mi-Hi; he just had to make sure to save his progress on the new song and they'd be off to the dorms.

They stepped into his studio and he looked around trying to figure out where to sit his daughter. Mi-Hi stood by his side, eyeing the colorful screens and buttons in wonder. It was the first time she visited her appa's studio, whatever that was. She hadn't said anything on the way up feeling uncomfortable in the presence of this, not new, but a slightly unfamiliar person. She knew Yoongi was her dad and that he loved her, but she didn't know how to act in front of him. What if he was like her daycare teacher who scolded her a lot, but what if he was like her mommy who gave warm hugs and told really good stories.

Yoongi led her to the sofa in the corner and helped her up.

"Um- stay here for a bit Mi-Hi, okay?" Yoongi told her. He wasn't sure what to do or say, noticing the discomfort of the child.

Yoongi was scared. It felt as if he had forgotten how to be a father. He couldn't remember the last time he had stayed with Mi-Hi without Mi-Sun. What if the little girl didn't love him anymore. It would shatter him even more. Yoongi loved his daughter with all his heart, how could he let so much time pass him by?

As quickly as he could he saved up the song and turned off his computers. Turning around in his chair he saw Mi-Hi looking at everything around her curiously. He took that time to really look at her. She had dark hair, small slanted eyes, chubby cheeks, and small pouty lips, all in all, she looked like him, except for the button up nose she got from her mom. She then met his eyes and gave him the first smile she had given him in a while, it was just like his. He returned the smile and stood up.

"Come on Mimi let's go home," he said, calling her by the nickname that was exclusively his.

"Aright appa," the little girl complied, getting down from the sofa.

On the drive home, he kept looking at her through the rearview mirror checking to see that she was okay and comfortable. She only stared outside the window watching buildings and cars go by. Usually, he'd go over the speed limit anxious to go home, but today he had special cargo to take care of.

Arriving at the apartment complex he unloaded the bags and went over to the elevator. He peered over to Mi-Hi as she did funny faces to her reflection in the elevator doors. He quietly chuckled at her antics.

"Mi-Hi do you remember appas friends?" Yoongi asked curiously. If he hadn't seen her in two months it had been much longer since she had seen the boys.

"A little," she shyly muttered looking down.

The girl thought her appa would be upset but he only reassured her.

"That's okay, I'll introduce you if you want," he offered sweetly.

Still shy around her dad she only nodded her head, her pigtails bouncing as she did so.

They got off the elevator and walked towards the door of the apartment. Walking in, he dropped the heavy bags and took off his shoes. He went over to help Mi-Hi but she shook her head as she tried to take them off on her own, her eyebrows furrowing in concentration. She managed to take one of the shoes off, but then gave a sigh of defeat looking up towards Yoongi.

"You need help Mimi?" he asked, making sure that was what she wanted.

Again she only indeed shyly.

Yoongi crouched down and delicately took the other shoe off placing the pair neatly in the shoe rack.

"Thanks, Papa," she politely said.

"You're welcome, baby."

Yoongi walked into the apartment but stopped in his tracks when he didn't hear the little pitter-patter of Mi-Hi's feet behind him. He turned back and saw how weary she was of the new environment.

"Want me to hold your hand?" Yoongi questioned, uncertain of the child's needs.

Mi-Hi shook her head and raised her arms so he would pick her up. He bent down and picked her up easily, she was a light baby. In return, she instantly wrapped her arms around his neck.

He heard a commotion in the kitchen so he made his way there knowing most of them would be gathered there.

Yoongi was right, the maknae line were in the kitchen creating chaos in Jin's sacred place.

"Yoongi hyung I'm so glad you're back what do-" Jungkook started saying but stopped seeing the little girl in his arms, "Is that Mi-Hi?"

"Who else would it be?" Yoongi asked with a glare.

In a matter of a second Taehyung appeared next to Yoongi cooing at the girl in his arms.

"Hi, Mi-Hi remember me? Tae-Tae?" he said excitedly.

She just hid in her father's neck shy at all the attention. Yoongi felt as her face heat up in a blush caused by the attention. Another thing she inherited from her father, the ability to get embarrassed very easily.

Mi-Hi nodded and said quietly, "Tiger." He was the one to give Mi-Hi the tiger she likes to sleep with.

"That's right!" Taehyung nodded over the moon that Mi-Hi remembered him.

"What about me Mi-Hi remember me?" Jimin asked softly from his place on the counter.

"Mhm," Shyly she nodded.

"What about Kookie?" Jungkook asked with his big doe eyes.

"No," she shook her head with a frown.

At her words, the rest of the boys began laughing.

Jungkook pouted as his hyungs got all the attention. He would make it his mission to get the little girl to remember him.

As the minutes went by Mi-Hi sunk more and more into Yoongi's arms making him realize she'd had enough of all the attention.

"Alright guys back off," Yoongi told them seriously.

"Sorry hyung," the younger boys apologized.

"It's not me you should apologize to."

"Sorry Mi-Hi," they then turned to apologize to her.

"I-Its okay," she responded with a small smile.

"Can you call the other downstairs?" Yoongi asked one of them.

"Sure I'll go," Jungkook offered, running over to the stairs.

Yoongi wanted to explain what was going to happen in the next few days and it would be easier if they were all here.

Soon enough all the members were sitting in the living room and cooing at Mi-Hi who sat on the ground playing with one of her toys.

"What's up Hyung?" Namjoon asked.

"Mi-Hi will be staying with us for a few days," Yoongi explained.

"That's great Yoongi Hyung," Hoseok responded from his seat cooing at Mi-Hi.

"Yeah, I wanted to give you a heads up and to give you the warning her mother gave me," Yoongi gave them the same specifics Mi-Sun gave him, just in case. The last thing they needed was one of them (most probably Jimin) caving to her requests and giving her a sugar rush before bed.

They stayed in the living room for the afternoon, all the boys fawning over his daughter and playing with her. To them, Mi-Hi was part of the team just as Yoongi was and just like Mi-Sun was once upon a time. Soon enough she became very comfortable with them sharing her toys and playing along to their antics. She more specifically got along very well with Jimin.

Yoongi thought it was because Taehyung could be very loud and Jungkook was trying too hard to be her friend whereas Jimin was soft and waited for her to come to him.

He saw how Mi-Hi sat between Jimin's legs as they played a game against Jungkook and Taehyung. She seemed very comfortable with him more than with Yoongi.

That sight got into his head, not letting him think properly. 'How could his little Mimi get along better with Jimin than with him, her father?'

'What could he do to change that?'

"Yoongi come here," Jin called from the kitchen.

"Yes, Hyung?" Yoongi asked his friend.

"I'm glad Mi-Hi is here it's been a while since we've seen her," Jin mentioned as he chopped up some vegetables for dinner.

"Yeah," he said, "I feel guilty," he confessed to Jin knowing he might be able to help him with his dilemma.

"Why?"

"Because I hadn't noticed how much time had gone by. It took Mi-Sun to go to my studio for me to notice," Yoongi explained, sitting in the bar stool.

"It's alright, Yoongi. Don't worry it's better late than never," the oldest comforted him.

Yoongi sat on the stool deep in his thoughts. Yoongi's silence was not strange, yet Jin saw how something was troubling his mind.

"What else is on your mind?" Jin asked, giving him time to gather his thoughts.

"Nothing, it's stupid," Yoongi shrugged.

"Yoongi..." the oldest pushed.

"She seems so much more comfortable with the others than me," Yoongi finally caved.

"Hmm," Jin thought, "What if tomorrow you go out with her, just the two of you and have some quality time together?" he suggested.

"Do you think that will work?" he asked hesitantly.

"Of course, you need to gain her trust back, and what better way than some bonding time. She'll get to know you again and you, her," Jin explained his reasoning.

"I'll try, thanks Hyung," Yoongi told Jin sincerely.

"Anytime," he said, "Now help me chop these onions."

Later that night once Mi-Hi was ready for bed Yoongi guided her to his bed. He could see how tired she was. She spent most of the afternoon playing with the boys which led her to miss her nap, then she had a yummy dinner made by uncle Jinnie. Soon after Yoongi gave her a bath and helped her put on her PJs. She was practically walking with her eyes closed, yet she kept insisting she was fine.

"I'm not tired appa," she said as a yawn escaped her lips

"Are you sure about that Mimi," her father asked with a knowing look.

"...yes," she whispered unsurely.

"Come on, time for bed. I can't have your mom scolding me for not getting you into bed at the appropriate time," Yoongi told her nudging her towards his bed.

"I won't tell her," Mi-Hi quickly said, turning to give her dad puppy dog eyes.

"Now Mimi, you know lying is bad," he lightly chided.

"But I don't wanna go to sleep," Mi-Hi pouted.

"Why not baby?"

"I'm scared," she confessed, still adjusting to her new surroundings, "Will you stay with me?"

"I will let me go get your tiger," Yoongi promised, going to the bag in the corner and pulling out the stuffed tiger.

"Will you tell me a story too?" Mi-Hi adorably asked with a pout.

"If you want me to, sure..." Yoongi hesitated since he didn't know any stories.

His worries went away as she did a little dance out of happiness. Guess he would have to make one up.

He tucked Mi-Hi in his bed making sure she was warm and comfortable and then he sat beside her leaning against the headboard as he began his storytelling. He felt as she leaned against him paying attention to his voice.

"A long long time ago there was an emperor..." he began telling his story with a low and soothing voice.

He got so invested in the made-up story he didn't feel as his daughter's head leaned against his side. It wasn't until soft snores made their way out of her mouth that he turned his head to see her sleeping soundly.

"Well that was easier than I thought," he said to himself.

He got out of bed and carefully placed her head on the pillow. Yoongi leaned down and left a kiss on her forehead. His baby had grown so much the past few months he wished he would have been there.

With a mission in mind, he began planning what they would do the next day. Hoping she would have a day of fun and bonding.

The next morning Yoongi was in a deep sleep when he felt a weight in his chest. He ignored it as sleep greeted him back when suddenly there was a little voice talking.

"Appa...aappaaa....Wake up daddy," the little girl said placing her hands on her appa's cheeks.

Yoongi opened his eyes and was met by a little Mimi sitting on his chest with terrible bed hair.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back down to the bed. She squealed in surprise not having expected that.

"Five more minutes Mimi," he mumbled, cuddling her.

"Nooo, I'm hungwy," she whined trying to get out of her dad's grasp.

With a sigh, he opened his eyes to find another pair just like his staring back.

"Okay..." Yoongi defeatedly sighed.

Yoongi got up, took Mi-Hi to the bathroom, helped her brush her teeth, and went back to the room to find an outfit for her. He decided on a cute black dress with a white t-shirt underneath.

He helps her up and as he is about to put the shirt on she protests.

"Nooo, I can do it," she protested taking the shirt from her father's hands.

"Are you sure?" Yoongi asks uncertain.

"Yessss"

Yoongi watches her struggle to put the shirt on but lets her figure it out on her own. He read in a book that it was good to let them do things on their own to help them learn. It took her a lot more time to put it on than if Yoongi would have helped her, but he waited patiently for her to finish. When it came to the dress he tried once again, but she shook her head again staring at the dress trying to figure it out. She managed to put it on this time with a little assistance from Yoongi seeing as she had poked her head through the wrong hole. Finally done, Yoongi took her downstairs for some breakfast, luckily Jin was there preparing some eggs and toast for everyone.

"Morning Mi-Hi" he greeted the toddler with a smile

"Hii uncle Jinnie," Mi-Hi chirped from her father's arms.

"Here you go baby I hope you like it," Jin said placing a kids plate in front of her.

"What? Hyung I've been here waiting for so long," Jungkook whined seeing Mi-Hi get served first.

"Shh Jungkook! She is a baby and she is still growing. She needs her food," Jin scolded the maknae.

Little Mi-hi began eating, making a mess around her face, Yoongi just waited till she finished to wipe her mouth with a wet cloth.

"There you go Mimi," he told her, cleaning the crumbs off her face.

"Thank you, daddy," she sweetly said.

"Jin can you watch her while I change?" Yoongi asked standing up from the table.

"Sure!"

Walking up the stairs he heard his daughter compliment Jin on his cooking. His hyung is probably over the moon that the little girl loved his cooking.

Their day began at the mall. Yoongi took her to every store she pointed to and bought everything she asked for, surprisingly it wasn't much. He got to see that in reality, Mi-Hi was a quiet child much like he was when younger. It warmed his heart to know that he and his daughter shared so many similarities.

After walking through the mall Yoongi drove her to a nice family park. As they searched for a spot she looked at everything fascinated. She got to pet some dogs that were around which she loved causing her to squeal in excitement. Getting closer to the playground equipment she looked up at Yoongi and asked if she could go play with a pout.

"You can go Mi-Hi, but stay where I can see you," Yoongi reminded her.

"Okay papa thank you!" she said already halfway to the slides.

She played for about an hour as Yoongi sat on a bench watching her. Now and then she would look back to him making sure he was still there and every time she would wave and smile at him.

It was a nice day, Yoongi acknowledged, he finally felt closer to Mi-Hi. He felt that he knew his daughter and that she knew him.

She didn't stare apprehensively at him anymore; quite the opposite he saw a gleam in her eyes come back. The same gleam that was there when she was a baby and looked at him. He felt happy. It had been a while since he had felt this type of happiness. Happiness that transcended any other. The happiness felt when reunited with the person you loved the most.

Since it was already lunchtime Yoongi took Mi-Hi to a nice family restaurant. They had a nice meal with Yoongi asking her all types of questions and in return, she would ask questions the best she could. He would help her with words she couldn't quite pronounce yet or she simply didn't know. After paying the check Mi-Hi pulled on his coat sleeve making Yoongi crouch down to see what she needed.

"What is it Mimi?" he asked, confused.

"I need to pee," she whispered in his ear.

Yoongi opened his eyes wide, his gears turning thinking about what to do.

"Appa?" she called waiting for his response.

"Uh sure let's go," he said standing up and holding her hand.

Walking to the bathrooms Yoongi thought about what to do. He possibly couldn't let her go into the ladies' room alone. He only had one option, he had to take her into the men's room. Going into the bathroom he let out a small sigh noticing it was only one stall so nobody else would walk in.

"Appa I can't go in there", she says scared, "It's the boys' room."

"It's okay Mimi, I'll be with you okay?" Yoongi assured her.

"Okay," she agreed hesitantly.

The bathroom wasn't dirty which Yoongi was relieved about, but he still made sure to clean the toilet before helping Mimi. Once she was set he turned to leave the stall, but she protested.

"Don't go!"

"Okay, okay, I'm here," Yoongi reassured, staying where he was.

Mi-Hi didn't mind him being there; he was her dad after all. Her mom always told her that as long it was her, dad, or grandma it would be okay. She trusted her mom.

Yoongi waited patiently for her to finish and when she did he picked her up to help her wash her hands. He puts soap on both their hands and demonstrates how to do it. He put his hands over hers rubbing them together. The difference in the size of their hands made Mi-Hi giggle and laugh. Once the soap was washed away she took Yoongi by surprise, kissing his cheek and thanking him.

Yoongi smiled happily knowing he had finally restored his bond with his daughter. With Mi-Hi still in his arms, he hugs her tightly, her small arms going as much as they could around him, hugging him back. Mi-Hi was right all along her dad's hugs were just as warm as her mom's.

Yoongi would never allow their bond to waver again. He would not only promise himself but Mi-Hi too that he would never let her go again.

On their way back to the dorm Mi-Hi fell asleep since it was time for her nap. While she slept he couldn't help, but arrange in his head a new melody into a song for his beautiful joy, Mi-Hi.

A/N: This was so cute to write!! I didn't expect it to be this long, but, oh well...What did you think of little Mimi and Yoongi? Cute, aren't they?

If you guys liked it please make sure to like and reblog. It is much appreciated!

See you guys later ;) 💜 x

-Nikki Marie

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Ten Sides (Part 17)

Aang breathes a sigh of relief. It might be that the hardest part is over. She doesn’t seem to have the same earthy attachments that he had when faced with choosing between Katara and the Avatar state. He considers, for the first time, that dealing with shame would be the biggest obstacle for Azula. For a woman who is so heavily immersed in teachings of pride, glory, and honor.

The air has shifted significantly in several ways that he can note. There is notably less dread and anxious anticipation lingering about. Azula herself seems lighter somehow. Less tense.

She is no longer radiating doubt and apprehension. It might be that she agrees that the worst has been faced. Albeit, she still doesn’t look fully content and comfortable. Likely, she is still well aware that there are still four chakras to work through. Four more walls to tear down. Four more vulnerabilities to reveal. He can’t imagine that this is in any way, soothing for the princess.

“The next chakra we will work with is the air chakra, located at the heart.”

Absently, Azula brings her hand to hover over it. Likely this one will be hard for her as well but in a much different way.

“Elaborate, Avatar.”

“This chakra is about love and is blocked by grief.”

She exactly subverts his expectations when she seems to deflate instead of going tense again. Her face darkens considerably. “There isn’t anything to block.”

Aang shakes his head. “You wouldn’t be able to feel grief if you didn’t lose anything that you loved.”

“I miss my crown. I miss…” she trails off. “I miss the respect and what not. Does that count?”

Aang crinkles his brows. Truth be told, he isn’t sure. Mostly when he thinks of love, he thinks of people. He isn’t sure that a love of an object or power quite counts. He shrugs, “I guess that you can try it. Think of the things that you love and of how you lost them.”

.oOo.

She isn’t sure that she wants to do that. It is bad enough admitting that she has fallen so far, but to draw the memories forth and dwell upon them. She closes her eyes, they’d been over this in the last chakra.

She thinks of the crown no longer on her head, of the throne, of a steady stream of adoring subjects awaiting her command. And then she thinks of an agni kai. One final battle that snatached it all away.

“Now what?”

“Well, uh...what Guru Pathik told me was that I just had to remember that the Air Nomads’ love for me still exists in the world as a form of energy. And so they aren’t really gone. I don’t think that, that works for objects and ideas…” he scratches his head.

“So we can’t move forward?” Azula grits her teeth. “I went through all of this and we can’t finish?”

“Well aren’t there any people that you love?”

“That won’t work either, Avatar.”

“Why not?”

“Because they don’t love me.” They aren’t dead but she lost them all the same and she can’t imagine that there are any traces left of Mai and TyLee’s love for her. She isn’t sure that there was any love to begin with. Not for the first time she considers that she simply isn’t the sort of person that anyone could have affections for, much less, deep affections. She feels a darkness resurfacing, likely she is only blocking her air chakra further. But she can’t keep the dark cloud from swelling; she lost her mother too but her mother never loved her either… She has lost her father and his affections as well. Lost his respect on top of it. She doesn’t need to talk to him to know as much. “I lost all of them but there isn’t any,” she gestures with her hands, “love energy floating around.” She struggles to keep her voice level.

Aang puts his hand on her back. “Who are they? Mai and TyLee?”

Azula nods, “mother and father as well.” And her old self. She did love who she used to be. She vocalizes as much.

Aang’s eyes light up. “Self love is a form of love.”

And what a bitter thing, just like she realizes that not even she can love herself.

Oblivious, he continues, “just like the energy of the Air Nomads’ love, your old self is still there…” She isn’t quite listening. It is a hopeless cause. But then again, she doesn’t have to love this version of her. She didn’t lose this version of her, it is very much still around. Still around rendering her remotely useless. She loved and lost her old self. But, if the Avatar is right, then her old self is still around somewhere. Probably off in the further reaches of her mind, but it isn’t gone. That her isn’t gone.

At least some of the blockage clears.

She shakes her head, “that’s not good enough Avatar.”

He thinks for a moment. “Well how about this; unlike the nomads, Mai, TyLee, and your parents aren’t gone. Zuko and Iroh aren’t either. There might not be any love energy floating around right now, but there can be eventually. Right?”

“Perhaps.”

“Well can you at least acknowledge that, if you work for it, that, that love isn’t truly gone.”

She isn’t certain that she likes the idea of having to work for love. It is a late epiphany, but she is certain that she wants affection that comes naturally. The sort that she doesn’t have to work for. Unconditional love.

“Avatar, I want…nevermind. Yes, you’re correct, that love isn’t truly gone.” Logically speaking it isn’t. It is there for whenever she wants to--if she ever does--put an effort in for it.

“Azula, you can’t just say it, you have to actually believe it to unblock that chakra.”

She rubs her hands over her face, how is this one harder to overcome than the shame?

“Maybe ‘work for it’ was the wrong thing to say, huh?” He guesses. He pauses, seeming to think it over.  “You can try to talk to them again. Is it really that hard for you to believe that they might just like you if you let them know the real you.”

“Avatar, I don’t even know the real me, that is why we are doing this ridiculous ritual.”

“You haven’t learned anything about yourself?”

She has, but like many other things, she isn’t sure if she likes what she is learning. The only thing that she is learning is that she is weak. Much weaker than she thought she was. There is a depth in shame. A paradoxical pride in shame. In facing it and making something of it. She wonders what she can make of it.

Love.

She can make love from shame. She can shape herself up from shame. Shape herself into something...someone that she can actually appreciate and respect. Perhaps someone that others can appreciate and respect...and love.

Weakness, she decides, is nearly as paradoxical as shame. Strength, in its truest form is born at the weakest moments. “Several things, Avatar.” She answers finally.

.oOo.

Understanding lights her eyes and relief floods into him. He should have known that she would struggle with this one too. Even so, her determination is quite a force. It always has been. He doesn’t ask her exactly what has clicked in her mind, it is probably better if he lets her have a few secrets. It is probably boundlessly more comfortable for her that way. Which is why he is particularly surprised when she says, “I suppose that I just wish I had love now.”

“You do.” He grins. “If it makes it any easier to unblock that chakra, I love you.” His face flushes as soon as the words leave his mouth. “As a friend! I think that you’re a good person to be friends with. And friendship is a type of love. So, uh, now you have some proof that people can like you without you having to work for it.”

He thinks that her face colors lightly. She clears her throat before speaking again. “I did work for it though?”

“Did it feel like you had to or did it just happen naturally?”

“A little bit of both.” She replies. “It was work but it wasn’t tedious work.”

“Good.” He rubs the back of his head. “But you do know that I’m your friend, right?”

Her face colors more ever so slightly. “I am aware. Next chakra, Avatar.”

He gives a small laugh. “I think that this next should be a lot easier, we already started talking about it. The sound chakra is located in the throat. It’s all about truth and it’s blocked by…”

“Lies.” She cuts in.

He nods. “More specifically the lies that we tell ourselves.”

.oOo.

Azula frowns, she could have sworn that he said, ‘easier’. Surely he is aware that she is a master of carefully woven lies. So careful and deeply intricate that she has very likely spun several for herself. It might be that she lies to herself more than anyone else.

Though she does suppose that he is right, they have already uncovered several of them. Her false sense of confidence and greatness, the idea that she has nothing to work on. She thinks of Ember Island, of a night around a fire. Of the biggest lie that she had told that night; my own mother thought I was a monster, but I don’t really care. She cares more deeply than she wants to admit even to herself. Everyone thinks that she is a monster, and by Agni, she cares too much. She doesn’t think that she would have shattered so completely if she didn’t.

Because you’re just so-o perfect. If only that wasn’t a lie. If only her life had been as pretty as she made it look.

She very nearly laughs out loud, it would seem that the Avatar is right, this one is easier. She can’t seem to put a stop to her flurry of thoughts. And she has only breeched the surface. The truths that she has already lightly faced even if she’d buried them down again.

Those aren’t the ones that rattle her. The truths that leave her with an icy dread are the ones she had pushed back as far as she could. Where her perfect life is such a pretty lie, she has several ugly ones. Ugly but easy.

It is so much easier to think that fear is a perfect substitute for love. That fear can earn her friendship and company. She knows this. Especially now that the prospect of being lovable has been so plainly laid out in front of her.

It is so much easier to declare that the throne is her destiny than to even begin to fathom that her fate is not so clearcut.  It is so much easier to do what her father has told her than to forge her own path.

Her stomach plummets and she swallows hard as she scratches at the final layer. It comes up like the mental equivalent of carving out a chunk of her skin and peeling it back. She liked being under Ozai’s control. And there is a part of her that liked being under Sangyul’s control.

Because, by Agni, so long as she has someone to direct her and mold her, she can be absolved of any responsibility. She doesn’t have to take blame for her own wrong doings. If she could pretend like she didn’t have a choice then she couldn’t be resented for making the wrong ones.

Perhaps she had let Sangyul toy with her for as long as he did because it was easier. Somehow it was easier.

It is so much easier to blame Sangyul and Aang for her conflict than to acknowledge that most of her conflict and insecurity is all her own.

[fantastic-bby]

Strings

Pairing: Reader x Jaebeom

Word count: 9.7k (This is the LONGEST fic I’ve ever written and I feel like I momentarily lost my mind while writing this)

Genre: Fluff, romance, soulmate au

Summary: Jaebeom has been left with a black and white world since he has yet to find his soulmate. After years and years of searching, he’s disappointed that he is constantly left empty handed and without a spectrum. It’s only when someone moves into an apartment across from his that he decides to give a relationship another go. What he doesn’t know is that this particular girl can see the strings connecting soulmates...

Triggers: Mentions of death and grieving

A/n: I decided to try something new by adding alternative endings because I couldn’t make up my mind on whether I wanted this to end happy or sad. Therefore, I’ve given you, the readers, to choose which ending you want. I’m also still new at trying to put playlists together for my writing, so pls bear with me. 

Playlist: Don’t Need Your Love - NCT Dream || Affection - Cigarettes After Sex || please lie to me - Crucial Star || Best Part - H.E.R || I Like Me Better - Lauv || Falling In Love - Cigarettes After Sex || FOOLS - Troye Sivan

Soulmate series: Mark - Inked || Jackson - Bubbles || Jinyoung - Masked || Youngjae - Drawings || BamBam - Footprints || Yugyeom - Pieces

Masterlist

They say that when you touch your soulmate for the very first time, you finally get to see your world in colour. You'll know it's your soulmate when they're the only splash of colour among the black and white scene. They say that when you touch their skin, your body will jolt and your skin will tingle as the world will slowly melt into colour.

Yet, after 26 years, Im Jaebeom was still stuck with a black and white world. He was sure his soulmate was still alive since he hadn’t experienced that heart shattering feeling that everyone says happens when their soulmates die nor was he able to suddenly see colours.

He had spent his entire life desperately looking for his spectrum. Whenever he was in crowds, he would scan the black and white crowd in hopes of finding that single person who would finally add colour to his bleak looking life. 

"What's going on?" Jaebeom asked as he entered the living room of BamBam’s apartment to join the gathering Yugyeom had asked for in their group chat. 

"I don't know. Gyeomie just asked everyone to be in the living room when he gets home." BamBam shrugged as he shared glances with his older members. 

"10 000 won says he found his soulmate." Jackson chuckles as he turned to Jinyoung and extended his hand.

"10 000 if it’s anything else at all." Jinyoung smirked at him and shook his hand. 

“I want in!” BamBam piped in excitedly. “I’m on Jinyoung hyung’s side.” He announced, laughing when Jackson pouted at him. 

“Ssh!” Youngjae quickly hushed them when they heard the keypad to the front door beeping. They turned their attention to the front door as they anticipated the entrance of the youngest member. Yugyeom stepped into the doors and behind him was a girl that looked to be around his age.

Jinyoung and BamBam both let out respective groans while Jackson threw his arms up in the air and cheered victoriously. The defeated pair reached into the pockets of their pants to pull out their wallets grumpily.

“What’s going on?” Yugyeom asked, pure confusion painting his face. 

“Jackson, Jinyoung and BamBam made a bet on what you wanted to tell us.” Youngjae chuckled as he saw how happy Jackson was to win money.

“Yeah, I haven’t said anything yet.” Yugyeom said slowly. Both Jinyoung and BamBam paused just as they were about to hand the notes to Jackson. 

“You found your soulmate, right?” Jackson squinted his eyes at the younger male. Yugyeom pursed his lips and his hand went to the back of his neck as he scratched the skin, 

“No, but I think I found someone else’s soulmate.” He said awkwardly as he stepped aside to let the girl walk forward to Mark who was silently standing behind all of them. 

“WHAT?!” All of them except for Mark and Jaebeom exclaimed as they watched the way the girl approach Mark. 

“How did you find her?” Mark asked softly as he looked up at Yugyeom. 

“I bumped into her at the 7 11 in Hongdae and she said she saw you while we were having dinner but when she wanted to approach us, we left.” He smiled at Mark. 

“Wait, so you brought a random girl to BamBam’s apartment at night without being completely sure whether or not she was telling the truth?” Jaebeom asked with wide eyes. “Yugyeom, what if she wasn’t telling the truth and she was a sasaeng?” He scolded him. 

Yugyeom let out a forced laugh, “Yeah, I wasn’t thinking about that.” He hung his head sheepishly, “But we’re lucky she is. I mean, look at them.” He gestured to the way Mark was softly speaking to the girl, wearing the widest smile they had ever seen. 

“So, you haven’t found your soulmate yet?” BamBam asked. Yugyeom nodded at him and BamBam threw his arms in the air, letting out a loud whoop. “Jackson hyung, you lost!” He teased Jackson who begrudgingly reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. 

“Sorry you haven’t found your soulmate yet, Gyeomie.” Jinyoung apologised while chuckling. 

“It’s fine. I’m fine with waiting for the time that I do.” Yugyeom shrugged. “It’ll come eventually. I just have to be patient.” He gave his hyung a toothy smile, making them smile as they patted him on the back. Jaebeom was the only one who was standing behind them as they expressed their pride for Yugyeom in acting so mature. He was watching the way Mark and his soulmate were interacting with a sour taste filling his mouth. 

Jaebeom didn’t want to feel this way. He was happy that one of his closest friends had finally found their soulmate, but he felt sad. Among the seven of them, Jaebeom and Yugyeom were the only ones left who hadn’t found their soulmates. Seeing the way Yugyeom felt about finding his soulmate made Jaebeom feel silly, childish even, for being so impatient that he hadn’t found his soulmate. 

 “You okay?” Youngjae placed a hand on Jaebeom’s shoulder when he noticed him zoning out. Jaebeom turned to him and stared at him blankly for a moment before quickly nodding, 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired.” He forced a smile, “I’m going to head home first. I think I spent too much time in the studio this week.” He muttered as he bid goodnight to his friends and left the apartment. He let out a sigh as he began walking towards the lift. He unlocked his phone and opened a picture Jinyoung had sent him. 

The last time they went to the beach, Jinyoung had taken a candid of Jaebeom standing along the shoreline. He said the water was blue and the sand was ivory. Jaebeom tried to imagine it but he couldn’t. Not when all he knew was black and white. 

Jaebeom’s walk back to his apartment was silent as he let himself get immersed in his thoughts. He remembered the girlfriends in his life that - at first - said that they didn’t care about finding their soulmates, but they ended up leaving him when they did. His heart ached. He felt so lonely. He gave up dating girls after the third one left him for their soulmate. 

Since then, he had been desperately trying to find his own soulmate. But even then, his hope was dwindling. He was losing faith that he would ever find them. Maybe he would end up being one of those lost souls who never found their mate. Maybe he would end up spending his entire life in black and white, only to die to be reborn where he would have to begin his search once again. 

Jaebeom stopped outside of his apartment and stared at the gray building. He let out a sigh as he turned around and decided that he needed a longer walk to clear his mind. A soft breeze blew past him as he stood at the bridge, looking out as the moon reflected on the water. The moon was the only thing he was sure he knew the colour of. It was white. 

He craned his neck up and stared at the moon, letting out a soft sigh. “I’ll find them, right?” He whispered out to the moon. He let out another sigh as he bent down and leaned his chin on where his hands were resting on the rails of the bridge, letting the sound of the river gently flowing fill his ears to calm his racing thoughts. 

“Jaebeom hyung?” A familiar voice made him turn around to see Hyunjin staring at him from the edge of the bridge. Jaebeom immediately stood straighter, not wanting to show any kind of sensitivity to his junior. 

“Hyunjin, what are you doing here so late?” Jaebeom asked when Hyunjin approached him. 

“I needed to clear my thoughts.” The younger male shrugged as he rested his hands on the railing and looked out at the river. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, slightly worried for Hyunjin. 

“Yeah,” He nodded, but the way his voice faltered slightly was not convincing anyone. Jaebeom placed a comforting hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder. The action caused Hyunjin to break down, completely surprising Jaebeom. 

��Woah! What’s wrong?” He questioned, panic lacing his voice as he rubs the younger male’s back comfortingly. 

“H-Hyung,” Hyunjin sobbed out as he turned and hugged his senior. Jaebeom wrapped his arms around him hesitantly and did the best he could to comfort him. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” He spoke gently, not wanting to make him feel any worse than he already did. It took a while but when Hyunjin finally caught his breath and calmed down, Jaebeom couldn’t help but wonder what made him this distressed. “What happened?” He asked as he pulled away slightly to look at him. 

“M-My s-s-soulmate, I-I think th-they’re d-d-dead.” He hiccuped as he avoided looking at Jaebeom in the eyes, embarrassed for breaking down in front of his senior. Jaebeom’s eyes widened instead, he couldn’t imagine how that must feel like. 

“What makes you say that?” He asked as he gently rubbed Hyunjin’s shoulders to calm him down. 

“T-The colours.” Hyunjin muttered out as he tried to hold back his tears. “I can see c-colours.” His lip trembled and he broke down into sobs once again. Jaebeom pulled Hyunjin back into his arms and hushed him softly, 

“It’s okay, Hyunjin-ah.” He spoke softly. He felt terrible for his junior. “Are you sure you didn’t accidentally bump into them without noticing?” Jaebeom asked, well aware of how impossible that would be.

“I was in my dorm and suddenly my chest started hurting and colours started to blend into my sight.” He muttered out, sniffling as he kept his face on Jaebeom’s shoulder. The older idol let his junior stay in his arms for a bit longer. Even though he was unable to imagine the pain of losing a soulmate, he knew the pain of not meeting them. 

“How about,” Jaebeom pulled away to look at Hyunjin in the eyes, “We grab something to eat. Maybe it’ll make you feel better.” He suggested. The Stray Kids member nodded and wiped his tears with the back of his hand as Jaebeom led the way to a nearby stall. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” Hyunjin mumbled out shamefully as he trailed behind him. 

“It’s okay, Hyunjin. We're people. It's not wrong to feel sad.” Jaebeom glanced over his shoulder to flash a comforting smile to him. Hyunjin could feel his spirits lifting slightly at the words of his senior. 

"Thanks, hyung." He smiled slightly as he caught up with Jaebeom so that he was walking beside him. “So, you can see colour now?” He questioned. 

“Yeah,” He let out a sigh and pursed his lips, “I can see colours, but I don't see it as a good thing. My soulmate’s dead.” He looked ahead blankly, “And everything is worse now.” Jaebeom bit his lip as he turned to look at him. His brown eyes were empty, bloodshot and staring at nothing as they walked. “Your soulmate’s still alive, right?” Hyunjin turned to Jaebeom who nodded slowly, 

“I haven’t met them yet, but they’re still alive.” He answered. Hyunjin nodded at that, 

“Do you think you’ll ever meet them?” He questioned softly. His voice was so soft, if Jaebeom hadn’t had his full attention on him, he wouldn’t have heard him.

“I don’t know, Hyunjin.” Jaebeom sighs, “I hope I will, but sometimes I just feel like I’ll never meet them.” He paused for a moment and sucked a breath in through his teeth, “Sorry.” He felt his brain start to fill with panic from the slip. 

“It’s okay, hyung.” Hyunjin chuckled, “I guess there’s a silver lining to this. Colour’s nice to look at.” He hummed out, doing his best to not sulk over it. 

“What does colour look like?” He asked, causing Hyunjin to turn to him before looking forward at the buildings in front of them. 

“Interesting. It’s a bit overwhelming, but right now everything is overwhelming.” The chuckle that left his lips was sad, making Jaebeom purse his lips as he turned back ahead and led Hyunjin into a small stall that was still open in the late hour. They sat down, ordered their food and the waitress returned with two shot glasses and a bottle of soju. 

“You can drink your feelings away, I’ll walk you back to your dorm if you get drunk.” Jaebeom joked as he poured Hyunjin a glass. 

“I would rather not embarrass myself in front of my senior.” Hyunjin shook his head with a laugh leaving his lips. “I can handle my alcohol quite well, so I won’t get drunk this evening.” He smiled as their food arrived. 

Oh, was he so wrong. 

Jaebeom had his arm around Hyunjin’s shoulders to steady the stumbling boy, carefully guiding him back to his dorm. 

“Aish, you said you wouldn’t get drunk.” Jaebeom mused as he did the best he could. 

“Hyuuuuuuung,” Hyunjin giggled out with a slur, “Don’t be sad that you haven’t met them.” He mumbled out as he leaned against the walls of the dorm building. Jaebeom stared at him speechlessly. “I’m never going to meet mine but it’s okay. You still have a chance at meeting yours.” His eyes were starting to droop and his body slumped over, quickly causing his senior to scramble to stop him from falling over. 

Jaebeom knocked on the front door, hearing footsteps approaching after a moment before the door opened to reveal a disheveled and tired looking Bang Chan. The younger leader’s eyes widened when he saw Hyunjin leaning on Jaebeom, 

“Is this about the soulmate?” He asked as he carefully took Hyunjin from his arms. Jaebeom nodded with a sigh,

“He got drunk. Take care of him and make sure he drinks plenty of water. He’s going through a rough time.” He watched as Chan steadied Hyunjin with an arm around his shoulders, 

“Okay, thanks, JB hyung.” He nodded at Jaebeom before closing the door. “MINHO! HELP ME!” The muffled yell of Chan came through the door and startled Jaebeom, causing him to jump slightly. 

He waited for a moment, chuckling slightly when he heard the chaos that was starting to wreak their dorms; thuds and what sounded like a lot of stumbling, tripping and multiple items falling to the ground.

The walk back to Jaebeom’s apartment was quiet even with the music that was filling his ears from his headphones. It was well past midnight and his mind was still disturbed. Hyunjin’s words stuck with him. 

Don’t be sad you haven't met them. 

He bit his lip as he thought about it, further disrupting his mind. Was he being too immature about it? No, he was just worried he would never meet them, right? Jaebeom stopped outside his apartment building. He had nowhere else to go, might as well step inside now. 

He tossed his keys onto the kitchen counter and took his jacket off, slipping it onto the coat rack and made his way through his quiet apartment. He stepped into his bedroom and stared at the computer on his desk, the glow from his screen saver of a picture of him and his friends illuminating the wooden desk. Turning on the lights, he moved over to sit at his desk and let out a deep sigh. 

The picture on his desk was staring back at him almost mockingly. It’s like purple with some blue and pink. It’s nice to look at. The words that Youngjae had used to describe the picture echoed in his head. 

Jaebeom got it as a gift from one of his cousins who had met their soulmate really early into their life and decided they wanted to become a painter. The colours to him were the same colours he had become too close to; black and white. 

He had no spectrum. 

»»————-　　————-««

Jaebeom awoke to one of his cats licking his nose. His eyes groggily opened to see Cake staring at him, her tail and ears perking up when she finally got him to wake up. He let out a chuckle when she started to snuggle against him, letting out a few meows when she bumped her head against his hand. 

He sat up only to realise that all five of his cats were on his bed with their eyes on him. 

“Woah, what’s wrong?” He questioned them, knowing that they’d only gather in his room for his comfort when something was different. He glanced over at the clock sitting on his bedside table. 9:21. He pulled the covers off of himself before sliding out of bed when he heard quite a loud sound coming from the hallways outside of his apartment. 

Without much care that he was still in his pajamas, he made his way to his front door with Kunta and Odd following him as he took a peek to the outside. The pile of boxes in the hallway and the sight of a lone girl carrying the boxes on his own made him step out, being careful not to let his cats out. 

“You need any help?” He asked the girl when she stepped back out of the apartment, jumping slightly when she saw him. 

“Oh, yes please. My flatmate had to fly out to her hometown, leaving me to carry all of our stuff on our own.” She let out a relieved sigh at the offer but when she saw his outfit, she immediately felt guilty. “Were you sleeping? I’m so sorry, it’s hard to move these boxes around quietly.” She sheepishly apologised but Jaebeom simply smiled at her, 

“It’s okay. I’ve been sleeping in a lot lately anyway.” He reassured her and picked up one of the boxes. The two proceeded to move the boxes into the previously empty apartment and Jaebeom learned that the girls moving in were college roommates that decided to move in together when (Y/n) had graduated. He also learned that the girl that was unfortunately left to move in their stuff on her own - (Y/n) - was a dance major. 

“I haven’t thanked you yet, so here’s a drink as a thank you.” (Y/n) handed him a glass of lemonade. They were pretty much done with just one more box sitting in the living room, ready to be unpacked. 

“Thanks.” Jaebeom smiled as he wiped the sweat forming on his forehead with the back of his hand, “So, when’s your friend coming back?” He asked after taking a few sips from the refreshing drink. 

“I’m actually not sure.” She shrugged, “She said something happened back home and even she doesn’t know when she’ll come back.” She sighed as she sipped on her own glass. He nodded at that. They stood together in silence as (Y/n) was admiring her new home. 

“What’s her name?” He asked after a moment. 

“Haneul.” She hummed out, her attention still to the now decorated apartment. “We’re moving in together because I’m scared of living alone and I miss living with her.” She chuckled out, taking another sip from her glass as she turned herself to face Jaebeom. “Do you have any flatmates?” She questioned. 

“No,” He shook his head, “I do have five cats, though. They keep me company.” He chuckled. “All of my friends have their own apartments and they’re allergic to cat fur, so I guess it’s fitting.” He shrugged. 

“Five cats?” (Y/n) let out a snort, “You’re one man.” She pointed out. 

“Yeah, they’re assholes sometimes but that’s how cats are like.” He joked. “They do dumb shit, but I love them nonetheless. They’re like my children.” He chuckled as he put the now empty glass onto the kitchen peninsula. 

“What are their names?” She questioned as she put her glass on the counter. 

“Nora, Kunta, Odd, Cake and Baire.” He hummed out. 

“What colours are they?” She asked. Jaebeom stood still as he stared into the living room, the familiar loneliness that had previously disappeared started to fill his mind. 

“I can’t see colours yet.” He muttered out, “Haven’t found my soulmate yet.” The vibe in the room had immediately made a 180 flip, (Y/n) afraid that she had accidentally offended her new neighbour. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that.” She apologised softly but Jaebeom shook his head, 

“It’s fine. Most of the people our age have already found their soulmates. I’m just one of the unfortunate few that haven’t.” He turned to her with the corner of his lip lifting slightly to give her a half smile. “Have you met yours yet?” He asked. 

“Nope, and I never will.” She let out a soft sigh. “I started seeing colours when I was a child and I remember crying for months because of how much it hurt.”

“I’m sorry about that.” Jaebeom let out a sigh as well. “I guess we’re a pair of losers without soulmates.” He joked, enticing a chuckle out of her, 

“I guess.” (Y/n) leaned over the counter before turning up to look at him, “Are you actively searching for them?” She questioned. Her tone of voice was suggesting something that Jaebeom had already experienced. Something too familiar. 

“If you’re thinking that way, how about I pick you up tomorrow at 11?” He turned to face his entire body to her. He had to admit, she was a beautiful woman and they had just spent the entire morning moving stuff around without once feeling uncomfortable or awkward. He was sure this time would be different since there was a guarantee she wouldn’t leave him for her soulmate. 

“Again, I’m sorry I disturbed your slumber with how loud I was being.” She apologised as she walked him out into the hallway. 

“It’s seriously no problem. My cats actually woke me up, but I think it’s a good thing.” He waved his hand at her with a smile on his face. 

“Thank you for the help, Jaebeom.” She smiled as she leaned against her doorway. 

“No problem, (Y/n).” He stood in the hallway, only now taking in her beauty as she stood in just a simple tank top and a pair of leggings. (Y/n) was taking in his natural beauty as well. This man was standing in an oversized t shirt and a pair of baggy shorts yet he was still among the most handsome men she had ever laid her eyes upon. 

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, neighbour.” She giggled as she took a step backwards into her home. 

“Yeah,” Jaebeom nodded and waved at her as she closed her front door. He smiled to himself as he made his way into his apartment only a few doors down from hers and stepped in, Odd greeting him as he did. Nora sat on the cat tower in the living room, immediately sitting up at the arrival of her owner. 

The loud meow coming from the kitchen brought Jaebeom’s attention to an annoyed looking Cake and Baire sitting in front of their empty food bowls. 

“Oh, right.” It was way past breakfast time for the cats and he had accidentally forgotten since he had spent the morning with (Y/n) instead. He quickly filled the food bowls, all of the cats gathering in his kitchen to enjoy their late breakfast as he headed into the bathroom for a much needed shower.

Jaebeom went by his day with his usual routine whenever he wasn't in the studio or practicing; have lunch, spend time composing on his computer, take a nap with at least two of his cats, compose on his keyboard, cuddle with Nora, have dinner, cuddle with all of his cats and shake his head at the daily meme Yugyeom or BamBam would send to their group chat. 

Jaebeom stood outside of (Y/n)’s apartment the next morning, anticipating his date with her. He was surprised when the door opened right as he was about to knock and his jaw went slack when he saw her dressed in a simple crop top and a pair of black denim shorts. 

(Y/n) lets out a giggle as she steps out of her apartment, "Close your mouth before something flies in." Jaebeom quickly closed his mouth, a blush making its way onto his face. 

"S-Shall we?" He cleared his throat and bent his arm for her which she gladly linked her arm around his. 

That day spent together was one of the best Jaebeom had had. He was happy around her; comfortable. (Y/n) couldn't help but smile the entire time, her eyes glinting with joy every time he cracked a bad joke. 

One thing she had that he didn't was the ability to see the strings. (Y/n) could see the strings attaching each others souls and it was up to her to bring lone souls to their other halves. 

That was exactly what she was going to do with Jaebeom. 

She just couldn't let him know what she could see. He would either freak out or pressure her and she couldn't have that. 

"Are you okay?" Jaebeom asked when he noticed that (Y/n) had long been zoned out. 

"Huh?" She turned to him slowly before quickly nodding, "Oh yeah, just thinking about work." She hummed out. She could see his string but she couldn't see who it was attached to. 

»»————-　　————-««

“Goodnight.” Jaebeom hummed out as they stood outside (Y/n)’s apartment. Five months had gone by pretty quickly, Haneul still nowhere to be found and the relationship between (Y/n) and Jaebeom blossoming into something more beautiful than she had actually hoped for. 

“Goodnight, Jaebeom.” She smiled, waving at him as she let herself into the apartment. She looked down at the polaroid picture in her hands of the two together, smiling like an idiot at the way Jaebeom forced a sloppy kiss onto her cheeks just as Jinyoung snapped the photo. 

Her attention from the photo averted when she saw a red string floating around the apartment and leading into Haneul’s room. 

“Eonnie?” She called out to what she thought was an empty apartment. The bedroom door flung open and her roommate immediately threw her arms around (Y/n). 

“(Y/n)!” She happily squealed out as she hugged her tightly, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry I was gone for so long.” She quickly apologised when she pulled away.

“What happened? I thought you weren’t supposed to be home for another few months.” (Y/n) questioned as she looked at her. She was shocked but she was still happy nonetheless. She could once again live with her best friend in the apartment they wanted to fill with memories. 

“My mum forced me out of Jeju. I’m not even exaggerating. She bought me the train ticket and said I had nothing else to worry about and that my aunt was okay.” Haneul giggled as she sat herself on the chair that was behind the kitchen counter. 

“She kicked you out?” (Y/n) snorted as she opened their fridge, “Sounds about right. You keep getting kicked out of places.” She joked, placing a bottle of Cass in front of her and opening one for herself. 

“Yeah, I do.” Haneul chuckles, taking a swig from the bottle of beer. “Where were you? You don’t usually go out this late.” She asked, gesturing to the clock hanging from the kitchen wall. 

(Y/n) turned to the clock, only now realising that it was almost midnight. She had spent the whole day with Jaebeom, she hadn’t even realised that they just spent most of their time in his studio with Jinyoung. 

“I was with a friend.” She hummed out as she took a swig from her bottle.

“A guy friend?” She cocked an eyebrow suggestively. “Who is he? You haven’t had a guy friend in a while.” She giggled. 

“He’s…” (Y/n) trailed off as she turned away from her roommate and leaned against the counter, “Someone I’m trying to help find his soulmate.” She sighed out. Haneul furrowed her brows at that and she stood up, rounding the counter so that she could stand beside (Y/n). 

“You’re still doing that?” She questioned, a hint of anger in her voice. “(Y/n), you actually end up liking these people. Doesn’t it ever get tiring, you know, mentally?” She raised a brow as she looked at her. 

“Sometimes, but I feel like it’s worth it.” (Y/n) shrugged, bringing the bottle to her lips to take a slightly bigger swig. “It’s redeeming, I guess. I’ll never get to meet my soulmate in this lifetime. Might as well help other people meet theirs so they don’t end up like me.” She bit the inside of her cheek as she thought about it. “But, falling in love with him is inevitable.” She let out a sigh. 

“He’s just that perfect?” Haneul questioned softly. 

“He’s just that perfect.” (Y/n) nodded sadly. “He’s everything that I feel like my soulmate could’ve been.” She stared at the tiled wall of the kitchen, “But his soul belongs to someone else and I can’t do anything about that.” She muttered out. Her roommate watched her sadly. 

(Y/n) had this strange need in wanting to help everyone around her even if it cost her something important. That something important was always her partners when she managed to find their soulmates and gave them up so they could be together. 

“You need to stop doing that. It worries me.” She shook her head as she put her hand on (Y/n)’s shoulder, “You deserve someone who makes you happy. Not someone who you’ll let leave eventually. You’ll never be able to be happy with someone when you keep giving your partners away.” She stated. 

Of course Haneul was slightly angry about this. She hated seeing (Y/n) suffer from the breakup when she connects two souls. “Don’t you remember Chan? You dated him for five years in high school and when you found his soulmate, you cried for a whole year.” She brought back the bitter memory, trying to convince (Y/n) otherwise. 

“Don’t bring that up.” She snapped, “Chan is a whole different story. We were in high school. I was dumb enough to love him that much.” She threw Haneul a look, “Ever since Chan, I learned how to not fall in love as hard. It’s easier now.”

Haneul frowns, “You’re already liking this new guy a lot. I can see it. Just let yourself be happy for once and forget his soulmate.” She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest, her brown hair starting to slowly fall out of the messy bun she had tied, “I don’t want you to look for his soulmate this time. I want you to be in an actual relationship.”

“Eonnieeeeee-” (Y/n) whined but was quickly cut off.

“No, I’m not letting you.” She shook her head yet again. “I want you to be happy with this guy. Now,” She pulled the half empty bottle of alcohol out of (Y/n)’s hand, “Go sleep. I’ll finish these bottles because I haven’t drank in a while. In the morning, I want you to go see your new friend and spend time with him properly.” She clapped her hands onto her shoulders and started guiding her into her bedroom. 

“Eonnie, it’s unrealistic. Even if I don’t find his soulmate, he’ll probably find them on his own.” (Y/n) stubbornly retaliated but still didn’t really put up much of a fight as she was guided into her room. 

“I don’t care. I don’t want you to look for them for him.” She sternly said after she had pushed her into the room. 

“I-”

“Bup bup!” Haneul raised her hand to cut her off, “Relationship time. No soulmate hunting. Relationship.” (Y/n) let out a sigh before nodding, 

“Okay. I won’t look for his soulmate.” She finally gave in. “Goodnight, Haneul eonnie.” She hummed as Haneul finally started to make her way to her bedroom, both bottles of beer held in between her fingers.

“Goodnight, (Y/n).” She waved at her as she stepped into her own bedroom. 

“Don’t get too drunk!” (Y/n) advised as she watched her immediately start chugging one of the bottles as she closed the door. She let out a chuckle before closing her door and plopped herself onto her bed. The buzz of her phone that came from her purse made her turn over onto her stomach to look at the message.

JayBeee (ᵔᴥᵔ):

Made a tune while I was thinking about today~ Hope you like it c:

An audio file was attached to it which (Y/n) played. Her heart fluttered when she heard the soft, comforting tune that he had played onto his keyboard. 

Jaebeom waited at his desk for (Y/n)’s response, his foot bouncing nervously as he leaned back in his chair. Was it too cheesy that he told her he technically wrote a small tune for her? 

He stared at his phone as it sat beside his keyboard, anxiously waiting when it buzzed. He immediately picked up his phone and started smiling like an idiot when he saw her reply. 

(Y/n) ｡◕‿◕｡:

It’s so cute (~˘▾˘)~ You’re so talented, Jae!!

Maybe, just maybe, this time (Y/n) could actually let herself fall in love once again. Maybe, this time she could forget that souls are bound and that hopefully, he wouldn’t leave her for his own soulmate.

»»————-　　————-««

“So, what are we doing today?” (Y/n) hums out as she sticks the spoon of ice cream into her mouth, her eyes sending a puzzling look to Jaebeom. He had invited her out without much of a plan and they had spontaneously gotten ice cream and sat themselves on the park bench, the buzz of the park filling their systems as they sat together. 

Despite the low temperature, (Y/n) still craved the cold dessert and Jaebeom just followed because the moment he saw her ice cream cup, he wanted some too. Christmas had just passed, the park still scattered with various Christmas decorations as they sat together on the cold park bench. 

“Anything.” He shrugged, licking his own ice cream, a black mask pulled down to his neck so he could eat. “I just like spending time with you.” His hum made (Y/n) freeze, a blush creeping onto her face as she stared at him with wide eyes. He shot her a cheeky smile, his free hand reaching up to cup her face. Unexpectedly, he pinched her cheek instead, “Aigoooo, you’re so cute when you’re flustered.” He teased. 

“Aish.” (Y/n) pulled away from him and adjusted herself so that she could hide her face in her hair. She couldn’t hide her smile though. She took Haneul’s words into thought and for once, decided that maybe she should really give this a chance. She ignored the red string that led out of his chest and felt lighter when she let herself fall for him. 

“You’re cute.” Jaebeom chuckled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to pull her towards him. 

“Stoooppp.” She whined out when he continued to tease her by shaking her shoulders. 

“You’re so cute!” He giggled, squeezing her form against his. 

“Jaebeomieeee, stooop.” (Y/n) continued to whine, feeling more embarrassed for him than for herself. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop.” He smiled widely as he finally stopped his teasing torture on her. “I’m sorry. Every time I see you, I just wanna pinch your cheeks and squeeze you.” He joked as he leaned back onto the bench. (Y/n) shot him a pout, the blush never disappearing as she looked at him. 

“You’re cute too.” She muttered out. Jaebeom turned to her with a questioning look. “I said you’re cute too. I like your face.” She smiled as she ran a hand through his long hair and ruffled it. He scrunched his nose at her and couldn’t fight the smile that made its way onto his face. 

“What else do you like about me?” He asked as he sat up straighter. 

“Hmmm,” She pretended to take a while to think about it, causing him to nudge her lightly. “A lot.” She giggled, “I like your face a lot. I like your hair even though it keeps getting longer every time we go on dates or hang out. I also like your voice when you sing. It’s really soothing.” She smiled when she saw his cheeks start to redden. “You’re cute when you blush.” She teased, poking his sides lightly and laughed when he flinched. 

They let the silence between them settle as they watched a man play with his dog. Wait, not just any man. The man turned to the two and his face lit up.

“Jaebeom hyung!” Youngjae called out when he saw them. Jaebeom waved at him excitedly as Youngjae ran over, Coco following behind him. To (Y/n), Youngjae’s string was blue. He’s found his soulmate. She thought as she watched him jog over with his dog following behind him. 

“Are you here alone?” He asked when his younger friend approached them. 

“Mark hyung is somewhere here.” Youngjae scratched his head as he looked around to park to see if he could see Mark. “He was doing some tricking but he disappeared when I threw Coco’s frisbee a bit far.” He muttered out before turning to them. “I don’t think we’ve met yet, I’m Youngjae.” He smiled as he bowed to (Y/n). 

“I’m (Y/n).” She stood up and returned to bow. 

“Oh!” His eyes lit up, “You must be the (Y/n) Jaebeom hyung talks about all the time.” He chuckled when Jaebeom shot him a look. (Y/n) turned to Jaebeom who quickly softened his expression when she did so.

“Jaebeomie talks about me a lot?” She smirked at him as his cheeks deeply reddened. 

“All the time!” Youngjae nodded, giddy that he could embarrass his hyung in front of the girl he wouldn’t stop talking about for the past few months. 

“Really?” She turned back to Youngjae with a cheeky grin etched onto her face. “What does he say about me?” She asked. Jaebeom aggressively shook his head at Youngjae, pleading him to not embarrass him in front of her. 

“He hasn’t stopped talking about you ever since he helped you move in. He always talks about this really cute girl who lives across from him and whenever you post on your Instagram he does this:” Youngjae mimicked the way Jaebeom would dance around excitedly. “Then he’ll show us the picture and say ‘look at her! She’s so cute, right?’” 

“Okay! That’s enough!” Jaebeom stood up and pulled (Y/n) gently so she would be behind him, “Youngjae, please stop.” He pleaded softly. Youngjae nodded, finally letting up, 

“Okay, hyung. I’ll stop.” He giggled. Jaebeom let out a relieved sigh and turned around to see that (Y/n) was no longer behind him. 

“Huh, where’d she go?” He questioned as he looked around the park. Youngjae looked around as well, 

“Where’s Coco?” He questioned as well. “Did your girlfriend steal my dog?” He asked with bewildered eyes. 

“I don’t think she did and she’s not my girlfriend.” He shook his head as they continued to search the park. 

“Coco?” Youngjae called out, panic starting to fill him. 

“Wait, over there.” Jaebeom pointed to where Mark was talking to (Y/n), Coco’s leash in her hand. 

“Oh my god, she did steal my dog!” Youngjae exclaimed as the two quickly made their way over to where she was. 

“(Y/n), did you try and steal Coco?” Jaebeom asked her. She turned to him and her eyes widened at his accusation, quickly shaking her head, 

“She was getting restless since Youngjae was talking to you. So, I took her around for a bit and bumped into Mark-ssi.” She gestured to the older man who was crouched on the ground and giving Coco a belly rub. Mark’s string was blue as well.

“I found her while she was running around with Coco.” Mark stated without turning his attention away from the white ball of fluff. “I thought it was weird that she was with a stranger, but (Y/n)-ssi told me she was Jaebeom’s friend.” He stood up, Coco giving him a sad look when he did. “Then I realised she was the girl Jaebeom talks about all the time.” He bit his lip as he gave Jaebeom a mischievous smile. 

“Okay, (Y/n)-ie, let’s go.” Jaebeom huffed out as he held onto her forearm and pulled her away from his friends out of fear of being embarrassed any further. 

“Your friends seem nice.” (Y/n) giggled as she waved to Youngjae and Mark. 

“Did they tell you anything?” Jaebeom muttered out once they were quite a distance from the two. 

“Mark-ssi just told me exactly what Youngjae-ssi told me.” She giggled once more, nudging his shoulder teasingly. “So, you’ve been talking about me a lot and going,” She copied the dance Youngjae had done before, making Jaebeom cover his face in embarrassment. 

She linked her arm with his, pulling his hand away from his face and started walking with him. “It’s okay, I think it’s flattering.” She reassured him, smiling at the way he was avoiding her gaze by keeping his face turned away from her. 

“It’s embarrassing.” He muttered out as he pulled his mask back up over the lower half of his face, still avoiding eye contact with her. She tugged on his arm to the side. 

“Jaebeomie, look at me.” He ignored her request and still avoided her eyes. She looked around, making sure there were no wandering eyes before pulling his mask down. Before he could even ask what she was doing she had pulled his face down and pressed his lips to hers. 

His eyes widened, his brain not having enough time to process what was happening even after she pulled away. Jaebeom stared at her in shock, his face unbelievably red. (Y/n) still had her hands cupping his face before pulling them away quickly. 

“S-Sorry, was that too sudden?” She asked, scared that she had taken it a step too far. 

“I-I. N-no, I’m just. I-I d-didn’t expect that.” He stuttered out as he continued to stare at her with the widest eyes in the world.

“You weren’t looking at me. What else was I supposed to do?” She muttered out as she looked away from him, soft pout on her lips. His eyes moved to her lips and he was unable to stop himself when he leaned down to kiss her once again. His kiss knocked the wind out of (Y/n). 

She wasn’t expecting him to kiss her again, the feeling of his soft lips molding against her own left her completely breathless when he pulled away and she looked up at him with her lips parted. 

“Be my girlfriend.” Jaebeom blurted out. He felt like he had no control over his body and mind anymore. 

“O-Okay.” (Y/n) nodded, still in a blur from the kiss. 

“Really?” He questioned, unsure whether she was just saying it from being flustered or if she was really accepting. She nodded once again, more confidently this time. 

“I’ll be your girlfriend.” Jaebeom nodded his head for clarification. She nodded for the third time and he smiled; widely. 

“Okay.” He took her hand in his. They started walking - without any actual direction - with their hands laced and both their hearts warmed and fluttering. The entire time, (Y/n) was ignoring where Jaebeom’s red string was floating towards, content with the position she had decided to let herself fall into. 

(Y/n)’s hand felt warm in Jaebeom’s. For once, instead of feeling giddy, he felt safe. Her presence brought him comfort and he had never been so sure of a person before. As he glanced over at her while they walked, the glow of the evening sun illuminating their figures as they walked, he was sure he wouldn’t leave her for his soulmate. He would never. He was absolutely sure of it. 

“Jaebeom-ah.” (Y/n) waved her hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his thoughts. He blinked a few times before turning to her with a questioning glance. “We’re at our apartments.” She gestured to the doors that led into their homes. 

“Oh, I didn’t realise.” He muttered out sheepishly. (Y/n) tilted her head slightly at him, 

“What were you thinking about?” She asked as they stood in the hallway, hands still interlocked. 

“Something.” He hummed out, “Nothing you should be too worried about.” He smiled at her slightly. 

“Is it really? You looked like you were thinking about it all the way back.” She pestered. “You can tell me if something’s bothering you. Locking your thoughts and feelings away from other people makes them harder to handle.” 

“It’s nothing major, I promise.” He reassured her, his thumb gently running over her knuckles. 

“Okay, I trust you.” (Y/n) nodded. 

Jaebeom lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles, letting out a hum, “Thank you.” She smiled softly. “It’s still quite early. I’ll make you some tea.” He offered as he led her into his apartment. “I hope you’re not allergic to cat fur because it floats everywhere.” He joked as he closed the door to his home. 

This was the first time (Y/n) had actually been into his apartment. Despite spending quite some time with Jaebeom, he had never really invited her into his apartment. They would usually spend their time at his studio or in (Y/n)’s apartment. 

The state that his apartment was in, cat fur floating around and papers, a few clothes and a blanket carelessly thrown onto the living room floor seemed to be the reason why he didn’t invite her in. She ignored the slight mess when one thing excited her the most about being in his apartment; his cats.

“Where are your cats?” She questioned when she noticed that even the cat tower was lacking any of his pets. 

“Probably my bedroom. They tend to hide in there whenever they can smell new people coming into my home.” He answered as he filled his kettle with water and placed it on the stove, “You can go in there. I don’t mind.” He glanced over at her and gestured towards the first door on the left that was left ajar. 

(Y/n) slowly pushed the door open and turned on the lights, eyes widening when she saw eight pairs of eyes staring at her curiously. 

“I found them.” She announced, not too loud as to not scare the cats that were sitting on his bed. She further stepped into his bedroom, her eyes wandering around the room. She caught sight of his desk, an array of papers scattering the desk along with his keyboard and his desktop setup. 

(Y/n) continued to curiously look at his desk. Sticky notes were plastered all over the empty spots around his monitor. She read the sticky notes. Most of them seemed to be from his friends - random jokes and bad puns - while some seemed to be written by himself. One of the yellow pieces of paper caught her eye,

Continue that tune after the date with (Y/n)-ie. 

A smile made its way onto her face the more she read his handwritten notes. 

Keyboard after you spend time with (Y/n)-ie. She gives you ideas.

Don’t forget to feed the cats when you get home. 

She let out a soft giggle at that sticky note before turning her attention to the cats that were on his bed. 

“He really cares about you, huh?” She questioned as she slowly made her way over and sat herself on the edge of the bed, raising her hand to allow them to sniff her. 

The first to approach her was the Siamese, cautiously moving closer to smell her before bumping its head against her hand. The Siamese crawled onto (Y/n)’s lap, startling her slightly at how quick it was becoming acquainted with her. 

“Nora likes you already?” Jaebeom questioned with a chuckle as he walked into the bedroom with two steaming mugs in his hand. (Y/n) turned up to look at him, 

“I let her sniff me a bit and she didn’t seem to mind me that much.” She shrugged as she turned back down to Nora, smiling at the way she was already settling in her lap. (Y/n) placed her hand on the cat’s belly and started to scratch her lightly as Jaebeom sat beside her and handed her one of the mugs. 

“Nora was the first cat I got. She used to live with my parents, but I take her to live with me every once in a while.” He spoke as he looked down at his cat daughter. “Kunta and Odd were the next pair.” 

He clicked his tongue and the other three cats moved over to him to crowd their cat dad. “This is Kunta,” He gestured to the Black Shorthair. “Cake,” He gestured to the Munchkin, “And this is Baire.” He patted his hand onto the Russian Blue that was quick to settle in his lap. “I don’t know where Odd’s gone, but she’s a Turkish Angora.”

“They’re all so cute.” (Y/n) cooed as she gently ran her hand along Nora’s slender body. “Like their dad.” She turned up to Jaebeom with a cheeky smile on her face. He scrunched his nose up at her as he sipped on his tea, 

“Nora acts like me a lot. She eats a lot, sleeps a lot, and sometimes when my keyboard’s on, she’ll jump onto the table and press on the keys.” He chuckled. “Now that she likes you, I guess we have more in common.” 

“So, Mark-ssi and Youngjae-ssi mentioned that you talk about me a lot?” (Y/n) raised a brow at him. 

“Haha,” He let out an awkward laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck, “He’s just saying that to embarrass me.”

“I think it’s flattering.” She giggled. Jaebeom turned to her with an embarrass look in his eyes as he stood up. 

“Well, they’re my best friends. I don’t blame them for wanting to embarrass me all the time.” He chuckled as he made his way over to his desk. “They keep me thinking straight and positive. Especially whenever they come over and Yugyeom leaves these sticky notes.” He pulled on one of the pieces of paper off of the wall and handed it to her.

“That’s cute.” (Y/n) cooed. 

Hyung! Why did the bear have such bad mood swings? He was a BIpolar bear! :D

She let out a soft laugh when she read the note. 

“He sounds like a very positive person.” She pointed out. He nodded as he pulled another sticky note off of the wall, 

“This one’s from BamBam. He tries to do what Yugyeom does, but he tends to forget and instead ends up making Mark hyung angry instead.” He snorted as he handed the other sticky note to her. 

“How many members are there in your group? I don’t think I’ve met all of them yet. I’ve only met Jinyoung-ssi, Youngjae-ssi and Mark-ssi.” She questioned as she read the sticky note. 

“Seven. It’s me, Mark hyung, Jackson, Jinyoung, Youngjae, BamBam and Yugyeom.” He replied with his back turned to her as he read the sticky notes. “We’re like a whole family. They’re my brothers.” He turned to her with a smile on his face. 

(Y/n)’s felt her heart melt as she watched Jaebeom turn back to his table to look through his stuff. She could feel the genuine love he had for his friends when he found a polaroid picture of them sitting under his mess of papers, a soft chuckle leaving his lips as he turned around and sat beside her, 

“We took this on my birthday.” He held the picture up, allowing her to look at it, “Mark hyung planned a surprise party for me and they threw me into the pool at the house we were staying at while we were shooting a reality show.” He laughed as he recalled the memory. 

“You guys seem really close knit, huh?” She questioned as she looked at the picture. Jaebeom was obviously soaking but he was still wearing the biggest smile on his face as he stood with his six friends. 

“They mean a lot to me. I don’t know what I would do without them.” He hummed out as he leaned back on his arms when she took the picture between her thumb and her index fingers. “Yugyeom and I are the only ones who haven’t met our soulmates yet.” He sighed. (Y/n) felt her body tense up. His soulmate. She had completely forgotten he had a soulmate. His own soulmate. 

(Y/n) turned around to Jaebeom, about to say something but his attention was towards Cake. She looked at his red string, watching the way it was floating ever so gently. She bit her lip and made her decision. He deserves to see colour. 

“Jaebeom-ah,” She called to him to get him to turn to her, “I’m going to head home first.” She spoke as she stood up. Jaebeom frowned slightly as he sat up straighter, 

“Already?” He questioned as he took her hands to stop her from moving away. She nodded, 

“I’m a bit tired. Coco has a lot of energy.” She smiled softly, swaying his hands gently. 

“I’ll walk you out.” Jaebeom nods, hiding his slight disappointment at her departure as he stood up and walked her to his front door. “Text me when you get back.” He joked and opened the door. 

(Y/n) let out a laugh as she nodded, “Okay, I will.” She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “Goodnight, Jaebeomie.” She smiled. 

“Goodnight, (Y/n)-ie.” He bit his lip, smiling back as he watched her head into her apartment. He closed the door once she had stepped in but didn’t realise that she had stepped back out.

She stared at the faint red string that was floating out of his apartment and leading into hers with a dropped heart. 

“(Y/n)?” Haneul’s voice only added to her despair as her confused roommate stepped out with her. “Why are you just standing out here?” She questioned. (Y/n)’s eyes followed the red string that was attached to Haneul’s chest and she slowly looked up to meet her eyes. She let out a shaky breath as the pieces were being laid out in her head. 

It was Haneul

~

(Y/n) laid in her bed, staring at the ceiling with her legs dangling off the edge. Her phone buzzed for the tenth time that morning and she knew who it was from. She just couldn’t bring herself to talk to him, but when the door knocked a few times, she finally checked the messages.

JayBeee (ᵔᴥᵔ):

Are you okay? 

JayBeee (ᵔᴥᵔ):

I’m bringing over pastries and chocolate

JayBeee (ᵔᴥᵔ):

I left them outside, they’re hanging from the doorknob. I hope you feel better soon <3

(Y/n) let out a sigh as she sat up from her bed. Haneul left earlier that morning to get to work which meant no one was home. Unfortunately for (Y/n), her schedule was free for the next few days which left her free for a while. Jaebeom knew that, too. 

She trudged over to the door with a heavy heart. How could she keep Jaebeom away from his soulmate? But how could she just let him slip past her fingers? She opened the door slowly, making sure he wasn’t outside before taking the paper bag that was hanging from the doorknob into the apartment and closing the door. 

Was it too cruel for (Y/n) to not let them meet? How could she have been so stupid in ignoring his string and letting herself fall for him. But more importantly, how could she have not seen the string whenever they were in the hallway? 

Since they’re strings were still red, it was obvious that they still had yet to meet each other. But what was (Y/n) going to do when they would? She couldn’t run away like she did with Chan. She couldn’t leave him as easily since she knew that she had already fallen off that dangerous edge. She was in love. So goddamn hopelessly in love with Im Jaebeom. All because she decided to ignore the strings. 

(Y/n) looked down at her chest and at her string as she stood in her kitchen. The black string that was hanging dead instead of floating. The string that had looked as though it had been ripped at a foot’s length. 

She hated it. 

It was a bitter reminder that she would never experience the bliss of being with her soulmate. She wanted to rip it out of her chest but she couldn’t even touch it. 

The world was cruel and Jaebeom was a reminder to (Y/n) that it was. 

(Y/n) munched on the chocolate croissant that Jaebeom had left outside her apartment. Her mind was filled to the brim as she contemplated her choices. 

She could let them meet and let them be happy.

She tries her best to make sure they never meet so she can be with Jaebeom. 

Both options were painful to her. She knew she would forever be wracked with guilt if she would never let Jaebeom meet his soulmate. She had to make a decision and time was running out.

Sad Ending || Happy Ending

[somniferouseyes]

Dragon Quest XI S: A Lovingly Crafted JRPG

I had never played a Dragon Quest game before, but I had played many JRPGs. After hearing much about this one, I finally decided to cave and give it a try. What I found was one of the most lovingly crafted JRPG experiences I think I've ever played.

Spoiler-free review below:

=== The Good ===

Player options and quality of life features abounded throughout the game, allowing me to play almost exactly how I wanted to. Hell, I could even change the visual style of nearly the entire game on a whim! Not that I used this feature, as I wasn't too fond of the aesthetic or gameplay changes introduced when switching to 2D, but it's certainly a feature worth praising in my opinion if only for the sheer work put into making a game playable in two entirely different art styles.

Going back to the quality of life choices, I think the only game I've played that's come close is Bravely Default, with its option to modify random encounter rates (0%, 50%, 100%, 200%, etc.) which I recall being blown away by, especially coming from a franchise like Pokemon where you need to purchase hundreds of one time use items to avoid random encounters. Even just looking at the core gameplay of this game you can see the time and love put into it. The skill tree for each character is unique and the options you have within meaningful in a way I rarely see in games these days. It doesn't feel bloated with tons of worthless abilities and stat upgrades the way skill trees often do. I don't want to get too deep into it all because it'll take forever to but suffice to say I was thoroughly impressed by what this game offered to any JRPG fan.

And last, I really enjoyed the cast of characters overall. They were pretty unique and colorful amongst themselves and most offered compelling backstories and character motivations deeper than I expected from a game like this. My favorite was probably Erik. From the very beginning of the game I remember wishing that I was playing as him instead of some weird mute He-Man haircut kid. Erik was just so much cooler than Hero, and eventually had a fantastic backstory revealed that really lent a lot of color to a character that otherwise could have been a little flat. Least favorite has to be Sylvando. I honestly really liked this dude up until the end of the first segment of the game, but after he shattered all the atmosphere and plot pacing the game had with his dumb little side story (which continued to be relevant fairly late into the game for some godforsaken reason) I just couldn't deal with him. Nearly every time he appeared on screen he managed to break the immersion I had with his obsessive cheerfulness and incredibly stereotypical gay man persona. It just became too much eventually. I can respect his motivations, but wow he started to grate on me very quickly.

=== The Not So Good ===

Unfortunately the game was not without some significant issues and annoyances. While I think it's nice looking overall, I personally struggled to get too into the overall art and style of the game. I understand it's iconic for the series at this point, but scattered throughout the game are relics of past games in the form of ancient looking menus, dated sound effects, and some other strange choices that feel as if they only exist to scratch the nostalgic itch of the core fans of the series. Which isn't a major major issue I suppose except compared to the rest of the game some things just look... bad. Kind of disappointing.

Far more disappointing, however, had to be the music and sound design of the game as a whole. I know it's been said over and over by just about everyone, but it was incredibly hard to get past the fact that nearly EVERY area had music pulled from what felt like a playlist of maybe 3-5 tracks total. And even worse, none of those repetitive tracks were all that great to begin with. On top of being repetitive, it outright ruins the mood in a few sections of the game, and I found myself turning the music volume wayyy down just to avoid being blasted by the same shitty tracks over and over.

A smaller nitpick related to the previous: Why are the parts of cutscenes where characters sing entirely void of voice acting? It's so jarring to be listening to people talk and then they go to open their mouth to sing and I'm just stuck reading lyrics on the bottom of the screen. Just a very confusing design choice. I don't get it at all, as it really took me out of the few scenes where it happened.

=== Conclusion ===

Despite its shortcomings, I feel that altogether this is easily one of the best JRPGs I've played. I think if it had a larger (and better sounding) pool of music to pull from and better plot pacing around the middle of the game it just might be the best. It's truly impressive what the team managed to create here. Would 100% recommend to anyone wanting an old school turn based RPG to sink dozens of hours into.