#like that man has a lot of issues but i did not have the energy to point em out
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The Worst Part of Loving You (Sumeru Guys)
A/N: weeeee back in angst hours friends🎉🎉
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Tighnari won't call you his or let you call him yours. You've been flirting back and forth for a while and he's more affectionate with you than anyone else, letting you get closer than any friend would. And yet, that's all he ever calls you. You've never heard him refer to you as more, even though you both act like it. What you don't hear is his conversations with Cyno when no one else is around, those nights when he expresses his true fear is overwhelming you. He is fully aware of his monogamous nature as a fennec fox and the moment he allows that dam to break, he won't be able to let you go, regardless of what either of you want. He can't- no, he won't make that choice for you, so he pulls as far back as he can let himself, not realizing how this borderline behavior is hurting you more.
Cyno doesn't want you to hide anything from him. Of course he understands you have a right to privacy and he respects your boundaries, but he also knows about the wary looks he receives from everyone else. Ever since he became the General Mahamatra, he has caused unease and secretiveness in those around him, and he couldn't stand for you to see him the same way. You shouldn't fear him, you shouldn't have to hide anything from your partner, so he tries to know everything he can. He always asks about your day, and follows up on his follow up questions, until it almost feels like an interrogation. If you hesitate to answer, he urges you to continue, wanting you to feel safe and heard, yet his pursuit of honesty may cause the very anxiety he is trying to prevent.
Kaveh is perfect, too perfect. The Light of the Ksharewar and genius architect behind the Palace of Alcazarzaray has a reputation to live up to after all. What kind of man would he be if he couldn't make his most beloved happy? He works so much harder than before, both to earn the money to spoil you(even if you insist you don't need it) and to make sure you never see... the less likable sides of himself. Can't have you worrying about him after all. He's not stressed about work, and no, his living situation doesn't bother him a bit! Not a trace of exhaustion or self-doubt to be found here! After all, what could ever concern him when he has you?
Alhaitham is single-minded. It's one of the traits you admired most in him in fact. The day he decided to pursue you, no distraction or obstacle could dissuade him until he was yours. These days however, you feel like less of a goal and more of an obligation. Everything has it's place in his life, and now that wooing you is no longer a priority, he's shifted focus to other things. Anytime you try to see him outside of your scheduled date nights, he brushes you off with explanations of being busy. Of course, he still spends time with you and is never late to or forgetful of your dates, so what's the issue? What's making your heart ache at the thought of him?
#genshin impact#tighnari#cyno#kaveh#alhaitham#tighnari x reader#cyno x reader#kaveh x reader#alhaitham x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#fun fact: this was going to include wanderer but i got tired and ran outta ideas#like that man has a lot of issues but i did not have the energy to point em out#anyway thanks for reading!! i appreciate you internet nerd!!
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so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.
full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.
oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.
i'm starting off with the things i liked
the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.
combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less
the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.
your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.
the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.
speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.
bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.
varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.
the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).
rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.
and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately
the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.
tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???
there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.
i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.
that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.
for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol
in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.
the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.
this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.
when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.
morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.
dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.
on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.
really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.
for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.
rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.
speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.
the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything
#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#oh wow i hit a limit typing this#anyway to tie this up a bit: the good and bad to the environmental design being that well-known architecture like minrathous and dwarven#ruins look fire and remind me a lot of the previous games#but newly added locations are very... generic... very bland#i was very excited for rivain. i thought we'd get to see ships. not a bunch of ruins and a fighting pit and that's it#and why did i say to ignore a certain guy's review? bro because he was complaining about taash being ace and that taking up their screentim#and them being too up in your face about their identity. he did all this while she/her'ing them constantly#but my man they're trans. nb. not ace.#y'all need to be careful about bad reviews. they're coming from people who are upset about gender identity being handled as a topic in this#game. meanwhile they have no clue what they're even talking about. i don't think matty knows the difference between ace and trans#and neither do the hundreds of people who are one star rating this game currently#i liked this game. it's not top tier. it's not something i'll sink hours and hours and hours of my life into#it has tonal issues and it's moving away from what made dragon age stand out for me#but i do think that it's a genuinely fun play and people who are very invested in dragon age will squeeze joy out of it wherever they can#i had a hard time warming up to the new characters (taash and lucanis being the exception because they have an older bioware air about them#but solas's and varric's story (and don't get me wrong that's what veilguard is about) is GOOD. that is how bioware used to be.#and i wish they'd given us that energy all over the game. that direness. that grit. serious and mature writing.#that consistency is lacking#and whether you're gonna enjoy this game or not is entirely dependant on what you came here for and how well the game delivers on it#i think their weakest points are ironically the thing they advertised the most: the new companions and their writing#you won't find nuanced and good enemies here (i already reblogged something about this. you can go scroll around a bit and catch up on that#really the only thing that had me super invested and emotional was the main quest.#so make of that what you will. ultimately i was more frustrated with the game than i got enjoyment out of it. i was close to just put it#aside for now... until i went to minrathous to end ghila'nain's and elgar'nan's ritual. that all blew me away. still on a high off of it.#anyway yeah that review got cut short by the character limit maybe i'll add more to it tomorrow but rn... i am heading to bed#thanks for coming to my ted talk. also i'm sorry. zevran REALLY isn't in this.#dragon age
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went to bed early and woke up before 8am today! pretty cool. except I woke up with a bad headache and eventually had a very long nap.
I'm just so damn tired! like, no matter how much or how well or when I sleep, I'm still tired all day. so it's just pointless trying to fix my sleep schedule (when I'll just be asleep most of the day anyway).
#and also.#my mother in law just very sternly told us to fold our clothes after washing them#for some reason she just. started washing our clothes when we got here. no one asked her to. she didn't ask us. just did it#and then acts like it's such a burden. yes and no one asked you to do it 🤔#anyway no I will not be folding my damn clothes because they are going right back in an ikea bag because there is nowhere else to put them#we have one tiny wardrobe in 'our' room and there's lots of things that have to go in there so that the cats don't eat/destroy them#and. I am so fucking tired all the time no folding my clothes (to put them right back in a bag) is not a priority right now#guess what? our clothes usually stay in a laundry basket until we wear them (bc I don't have the energy and my husband just doesn't care 🤷)#it's not an issue. we are adults. we don't wear fancy shit that would look awful and wrinkly. our t-shirts will be fine.#I don't know man. it's only been a week and I already feel like peeling off my skin because of how she is#genuinely I cannot handle being treated like this. I couldn't handle it when I was an actual child and I sure as fuck can't handle it now#I don't know why I thought this would be fine. why did I let him convince me that she'd be different this time.#I know it's no big deal! she's just so judgmental and mean about everything. like the most inconsequential shit#like - last week on the day my husband worked from home he took a few breaks. as he normally does. obviously.#and she kept telling him to go back to work??? what the hell man he's a fully grown adult who has been working for years and at this#particular job for over a year. HE knows when he can take a fucking break.#like. she's never joking. she never says something casually. it's always serious and judgmental and negative.#I feel like I'm suffocating#anyway. only 49 days left. I can do it. I can get through this (knowing that I won't have to see her/them more than a few times a year afte#we move)#(I feel like an ungrateful piece of shit bc it IS very kind and generous that they are letting us live here for free for two months. and I#am grateful! but it's just not good for me mentally. that's all I'm saying. the problem is me.)#personal
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I'm Here on Business
Wayne is a regular at the bookstore Steve works at and badgers Steve into going on a blind date with his kid.
For @extocancer Happy New Years!!! I hope you enjoy your presents ◡̈
***
It's a quiet night in the little bookstore on the corner of Brinks and Williams. Steve is sitting behind the check-out counter flicking the leaf of a potted pothos placed next to the register. Soft music plays from the radio behind him.
Steve likes taking the evening shifts at the shop just to see the place warmly lit up by all of the eclectic and ornate lamps that Amber, the owner, has collected. The store doesn't give him migraines from obnoxious fluorescent light, which has been an issue at previous jobs.
Ever since Robin moved out of their apartment for Grad school, it's been upsetting to be at home alone at night. Without her company, the couch feels longer. And without her unhinged apartment decor, the walls feel taller and colder. Consequently, Steve has taken on more work hours instead of being home.
Plus, he has kind of fallen in love with reading. It came as a shock to him that he could enjoy it as much as he does. It started when his all-female team of coworkers began ranting to each other about these romance novels they were all into. He felt a little left out and decided to give one of them a try. It turns out that reading was actually a really great coping mechanism for dealing with his temporary loss of Robin.
The nicest, and most surprising thing to come out of this job though, is probably Wayne. A one-time customer turned regular, turned tentative friend for Steve. He's got a caring, parental energy that Steve's own parents never had.
The guy looks like he'd have a gruff or standoffish personality. His face naturally rests in a frown and he's got receding grey hair. He wears a flannel every day without fail; he's got a million different colors of them and Steve has even made a game of predicting which one he'll be wearing when he comes in.
"Did ya guess right today, boy?" Wayne will ask.
"No," Steve often admits glumly. "The universe told me you'd be wearing your green and blue one."
So anyway, Wayne comes around a lot to make small talk. He often mentions how he misses his son, Eddie. He's so stiff with personal information about his kid, but one time he let it slip that Eddie was on tour with his band. Steve had a field day afterward colluding with Google to find out exactly who Wayne's son was.
Eddie Munson, lead singer and guitarist of rock group Corroded Coffin.
Steve hadn't heard of ‘em but they certainly have a following. He listened to some of their stuff, to give himself some context for the next time Wayne brought up Eddie's music. It was nice enough, the guy has a good voice.
Steve's been waiting for Wayne to come in tonight. He's later than usual and it would be ridiculous for Steve to worry about a man who probably just thinks of Steve as that one kid who works at the bookstore. He may not come in at all tonight, and that would be fine too. Steve's still holding out on him pulling up in his... yellow flannel.
Steve's about to cave and start the next book in the current series he's reading when the door jingles. Wayne pushes inside in his mother fucking yellow flannel.
"Yellow Flannel!" Steve exclaims. Wayne chuckles and drops a book on the counter followed by a receipt.
"You got me right today?" Wayne asks fondly.
"Yup. It's been a while. I was aching for a win." Steve starts returning Wayne's book for him without giving him slack this time. Wayne treats the store like a library and Steve doesn't have the heart to tell him it's not allowed.
"Was this book any good?" Steve throws Wayne's receipt back at him and starts moving around the counter to put it back on the shelf for some other historical fiction lover to purchase.
"It was just alright." Wayne follows behind him languidly, eyeing the rows of colorful book spines for something that catches his eye. "But actually I'm here on business tonight."
Steve leans on the shelf and waits impatiently for Wayne to tell him what sort of business he's on.
"I think you ought to go on a date with Eddie. I think you two'd compliment each other."
Well, that's... not what Steve was expecting to hear.
"That's business to you? You came here to set me up on a blind date with your famous kid? I think he's gonna be a tad underwhelmed by a bookstore employee, Wayne." Steve's not gonna lie, he's a little intrigued by the prospect of dating a musician. He read a romance novel about one, not that long ago. Concerts, greenroom intimacy, targeted lyrics: Steve could be into it, in theory.
And ultimately, Steve did see photos of Eddie on Google and he's attractive. He looks good holding a guitar.
"He's gonna be home for a while so I figured now's a good time. Just go on one date. He's a big softie, you'll like him." Wayne pulls a book off the shelf and squints to try and read the title. He holds it further from his eyes before giving up and pushing it back into its slot.
"What happens if he doesn't like me? Will you still come around?" Steve runs a nervous hand through his hair. It wouldn't be the end of the world if Wayne stopped showing up, but it would probably hurt a little. It might fan the flame of his fear of abandonment.
"Of course, unless you break his heart. I know where you work, young man." Wayne pats his shoulder good-naturedly.
"Okay old man, you need my number to hand off?"
***
A day later, when Steve feels his phone buzz against his thigh, his instincts already know who it is. His heart gives that anticipatory squeeze he often gets before a first date with someone he finds attractive.
The text reads:
Hi Steve, this is eddie. Wayne swears we're soulmates. Wanna get dinner on friday?
It's a funny text to receive out of nowhere. Steve doubts Wayne actually used that word, but he imagines that Eddie is probably getting more of an earful than Steve got about this whole blind date. He also wonders what kind of person calls their dad by their first name.
Hi Eddie. I'd love to get dinner on Fri and discuss our soulmate status. I'm pretty sure he expects us to be married by the end of the night. Should I bring my tux? Also do you have a time and place in mind?
The master of puppets (Wayne) suggested we go to Maggiano's, are you okay with Italian? 8 maybe??? Tux optional but I think I will not be wearing one.
Haha. That sounds good Eddie, it's nice to hear from you. I'll see you soon.
***
Steve has to ask Amber to change his shift for Friday to work in the morning instead of the evening.
"Steve has somewhere other than work to be on a Friday night? Unheard of!" She slaps her palms down on the book display she was laying out.
"I know. I'm surprised too." Steve fiddles with his lanyard and gives her a 'please say yes' smile. She sighs.
"Yeah, I'll cover you. You can take my morning slot."
"Thank you! I owe you, boss."
***
When Friday arrives, Steve has the nervous jitters. It's been about a year since his last date, it didn't go very well. He's flattered that Wayne thinks highly enough of him to set him up with his kid.
Steve picks up a few small gifts for Eddie on his way home from work. He always brings his first dates a little something. He likes to see the way their faces light up. He thinks maybe he should get Eddie something music-related. So he walks into a little music store he's never been in and asks for small gift ideas for guitarists. He walks out wearing a smile, and hoping Eddie digs what he bought him.
And he's all smiles and confidence until he pulls up to the restaurant at eight and realizes he didn't send a confirmation text this morning. That's like, a rule, right? What if Eddie doesn't show up?
Steve steps out of the car and is equally anxious and relieved to find him leaning artfully against the restaurant near the front door with his hands in his pockets.
His curls are haloed by the warm light spilling out of the restaurant window. He's wearing a dark button-down with the sleeves rolled up to reveal tattoos on his forearms. And yeah, okay, he's hot.
The fact that Steve's going on a date with someone sort of famous hasn't fully sunk in. He's not sure he needs the added nerves though. He approaches as casually as possible and smiles when Eddie looks over.
The man does a double-take when he sees Steve. His eyebrows shoot up and he pushes off against the wall to stand straighter.
"Hi, Eddie?" Steve steps up onto the curb with a little wave. Eddie gives him a thorough once over.
"Oh, damn. Hi." He pulls a hand out of his pocket to shake Steve's.
Eddie is pretty up close. He's got long eyelashes and a bridge of little freckles across his nose. Steve notices all the little details that the on-stage photos didn't capture. He wonders if Wayne described what he looked like to Eddie who was at an informational disadvantage.
"I don't know what I was expecting you to look like, but my uncle didn't mention you were model pretty." Eddie tucks one of his big curls behind his ear and then steps forward to open the door. Steve's face gets warm at being called "model pretty", but he's terrible at taking compliments. He tries to redirect the conversation.
"Your uncle?" Steve asks.
"Wayne? My uncle?" Eddie motions towards the open door and follows after Steve once he's inside.
"Oh. You know he tells people that you're his son?"
Eddie's face softens and he scratches at his cheek. "Oh. Yeah well, I basically am. Maybe I should start calling him dad, I don't know."
"We don't take walk-ins." The hostess of the restaurant announces, breaking up their small talk. Steve looks over to see a tall woman with a slicked-back ponytail mad-dogging them. She has a cold demeanor, she kills the mood with one look between them. Steve knows the look, he's sure Eddie does too.
"Good to know! I have a reservation, though." Eddie responds.
"What's the name?" The woman pulls her iPad closer to herself like a shield.
"Munson." Eddie glances at Steve nervously.
"Hm. I don't see it." She pretends, tapping around meaninglessly. Eddie is getting agitated and maybe embarrassed too. He's scratching at his arm, unsure of how to proceed. First dates are already so awkward, especially blind ones. And if there's one thing about Steve, it's that he's gonna try to lighten the mood.
"Don't you know who he is?" Steve asks offendedly. Eddie whips around to look at Steve with wide, panic-filled eyes. The hostess raises an eyebrow and looks more closely at Eddie. It makes Steve chuckle. "I'm just kidding, let's go get burgers or something." He grabs Eddie's hand and pulls him back out the door.
"Holy shit, you scared me. I didn't know you knew who I was." Eddie has a hand on his chest and a wild grin. "She definitely didn't."
"I was just messing around. She did not want to seat our gay date." Steve sticks his hands in his pockets and then remembers Eddie's gift. "Oh but hey! I got you something."
Steve pulls out a nice bar of chocolate and a little tin of black pearly guitar picks. He offers them to Eddie with an open palm.
"Oh, what? You didn't have to do that." Eddie grabs them eagerly and slides open the tin. "This is so nice! How'd you know I've been needing picks? Now I feel doubly bad about dinner falling through."
"Hey, if I'm honest, sit-down dinner dates kind of give me anxiety. Too much pressure to keep the conversation going." Steve pulls out his keys, "You like burgers?"
Eddie huffs dramatically. "My palette is far too sophisticated for greasy burgers, Steve. I'm a chicken nugget man, obviously."
"That makes sense. You look like one." Steve teases. Eddie pouts.
"I'm taking that as a compliment."
"If you want nuggets we can just walk down the street. Unless you want me to drive?" Steve points in the direction of the row of fast-food restaurants.
"Yeah, let's walk."
Steve slowly turns and starts walking, glancing invitingly over his shoulder.
"So you know me." Eddie rattles the tin of guitar picks and looks a little worried by the prospect that Steve is some sort of fan.
"Only through your uncle, really. And maybe a short Google search. Sue me." Steve holds up his hands guiltily.
"Oh yeah, Wayne's my marketing manager. I send him out to spread the good word."
"Well I don't know who you've been instructing him to market to, but he's spending all his time in my store making me read book summaries to him because he conveniently forgets his glasses every time he comes in." Steve deadpans. Eddie chuckles and shakes his head knowingly.
"Yeah, It's this new long-con form of marketing. We decided to go all in for just one new fan." Eddie's got these sweet little dimples on either cheek when he smiles.
"Kinda worked, I dunno. I'm charmed by the Munsons." Steve and Eddie are veering towards each other as they walk. They're set to collide like two little asteroids. When they do end up bumping shoulders, it's soft. They stay close after that.
Steve hears a truly horrible sound coming from a bar a few meters ahead of them.
"Oh shit! Karaoke bar!" Eddie exclaims and speeds over. Eddie stands in front of the fenced-off patio and looks in while someone butchers Guns N' Roses. He looks absolutely delighted.
"What, you want to go show off in front of these poor, tone-deaf drunkards?" Steve rests his arms on the little fence and leans forward. Eddie vehemently disagrees.
"God no, I just like hearing all the very talented Midwestern voices." Eddie wiggles his eyebrows to express his sarcasm. "In other words, I enjoy making fun of bad music. I'm only human."
They sit there and give each other pained looks at the bad voices for a few minutes until someone starts trying to drunkenly stumble over the verse to a Nicki Minaj song and then Eddie drags Steve away in anguish.
"Can't take it anymore, Steve. Spare me."
***
The two of them have a good rapport, Steve thinks as they sit on a curb and share a big box of chicken nuggets. Maybe Wayne was right. It's playful. He can see how Eddie and Wayne share a handful of mannerisms and a sense of humor.
"Let's intertwine our arms like newlyweds do when they drink champagne," Steve says with a ketchup-covered chicken nugget in his hand. He wraps an arm around Eddie's and then takes a bite. Eddie follows his lead and giggles.
"I didn't know they did that. I've never been to a wedding." Eddie swallows and reaches for his soda.
"What? Never?"
Eddie shakes his head and looks up at the night sky. It's too cloudy to see any stars, unfortunately.
"My tux is in the car, by the way, should things pan out tonight." Steve jokes.
"I think they're panning." Eddie winks and leans in slightly.
"Oh yeah? Have I lived up to Wayne's description of me?" Steve bats his eyelashes and gives Eddie a sweet little smile.
"You've exceeded it, sweetheart." Eddie picks up Steve's hand and presses a chaste kiss to the inside of his wrist. Steve's heart jumps. When Eddie pulls back, he doesn't pull back far.
"Do you ever kiss on a first date?" Eddie whispers and squeezes Steve's hand. He glances at Steve's lips.
"Mmm, I could be persuaded." Steve feels a heady rush at the fact that he has somehow won the interest of a successful musician who probably meets loads of people every day. Steve reaches forward and tugs at one of Eddie's loose curls. He twists it around his finger and looks up with big doe eyes.
The tension is cut from Eddie's body when Steve looks at him like that. The move has a pretty good success rate at this point. And it doesn't fail him tonight. Eddie rests a hand on the base of Steve's neck. He strokes his thumb back and forth against the hollow of Steve's collarbone and leans in slowly.
Eddie's warm lips press against his own gently, experimentally. Their lips make a sweet sound when the suction is broken and Eddie's immediately reseal against Steve like he's irresistible. It's been forever since Steve kissed anyone, especially anyone worth kissing. He forgot how sweet and floaty it feels.
The hand on Steve's collar slides up so it's lightly holding his neck, it feels quietly possessive. It makes Steve's face heat up. Eddie's free arm wraps around Steve's waist pulling him closer. He lets himself be pulled.
Eddie starts getting more confident and hums softly when Steve weaves a hand into his long hair.
Steve could keep this up for hours, he wants to. But as dark as it is, he doesn't love the idea of continuing this so out in the open. He pulls back with regret.
"Damn, how are you not already taken?" Eddie wipes at Steve's shiny lips with his thumb.
"How are you not already taken? You're the accomplished one." Steve counters, squeezing one of Eddie's knees.
Eddie gathers their trash around them and stuffs it into the paper bag. "Well, I'll be home for a while if you'd want to do this again sometime. I can take you to a nice restaurant next time, I promise." He stands to throw away the trash. "Damn, I don't want the night to be over..."
"It doesn't have to be, you're welcome at mine." Steve leans back on one of his hands and bats his eyelashes up at Eddie.
"My New Year's resolution was to not do first date hookups, though."
"We don't have to, just come hang out." Steve holds an arm out to be pulled up to his feet from where he’s still sitting on the curb.
"Oh, yeah okay. You want me to?" Eddie pulls him to his feet with more force than necessary. It sends them both stumbling and giggling.
"Obviously I want you to."
***
The walk back to the restaurant is much faster than it was at the start of the night. They regretfully have to split at the parking lot, each having their own ride.
"Wait, call me so we can still talk on the way there." Eddie requests before jogging off to Wayne's truck. There really isn't much need to talk on the phone since Steve lives so close, but it's kind of cute that he wants to. Steve hits the call button on Eddie's contact.
"Hello, to whom am I speaking?" Eddie asks in a formal, over-the-top voice.
"This is Steve Harrington. I'm contacting you regarding your car's extended warranty." Steve backs out of his spot and waits for Eddie to do the same before driving out of the parking lot.
"Oh wow, what a coincidence. I was just wondering if my car had an extended warranty." Eddie always plays along, he digs into all of Steve's jokes and finds his own spot to grow there.
Steve drives slower than he normally would so that he doesn't get separated from his date. Eddie doesn't appreciate the sentiment.
"You drive like a grandpa. Has anyone ever told you that?" Eddie laughs and honks his horn. Steve hears it both over the phone and from his window.
"I'm only driving slow so we don't get separated, asshole."
"There's barely anyone on the road tonight to separate us, but it's fine, Steve. I value your safety. Drive at your comfortable geriatric pace."
When they pull up to a red light, Eddie instructs Steve to roll down his window so they can stick their hands out and play Rock Paper Scissors. Steve is so distracted watching Eddie's hand through his side mirror that he misses when the light turns.
"It's green, honey," Eddie alerts him softly through the phone, and Steve apologizes.
He's smiling real big the whole way there and when Steve eventually gets out of the car, Eddie comes up and grabs him from behind.
Eddie plants a few eager kisses on the side of Steve's neck. "You're fun, Steve."
"I'll show you real fun some other time." He jokes and pulls Eddie towards his place.
As soon as Steve opens the door to his apartment, he feels self-conscious about how dull it looks inside. Eddie looks around quietly. His eye catches on a picture of Steve and Robin.
"That's my best friend, Robin." Steve clarifies, just in case Eddie reads it wrong like dates have in the past.
Eddie smiles and pulls Steve back against his chest. "She looks nice."
"Looks can be deceiving." Steve laments which has Eddie chuckling into his shoulder. Eddie rubs at Steve's tummy.
What Steve really wants, what he's been desperate for, for months and months is human touch. He just wants to cuddle so badly. And Eddie doesn't seem the type to cuddle, but looks can be deceiving, so Steve's gonna ask anyway.
"Wanna cuddle and watch trash reality TV?" Steve's shoulders rise to his ears, it's a defensive gesture and he's expecting to be rejected. Eddie looks slightly amused by his offer, but he nods.
***
"So you liked him alright?" Wayne asks smugly patting the counter. Steve nervously watches the back of the store where Amber is reorganizing. Steve shouldn't be having a conversation like this at work while she's around.
"Yes, Wayne." Steve rolls his eyes. "Your nephew is lovely."
"I told him he should come here with me next time. Maybe we'll both visit ya." Wayne looks happy. The corners of his default frown have been pulled upwards by the return of his nephew. He's a good man. Steve thinks if his kid was only home a few weeks he'd want to hoard all of his attention, surely not set him up on dates.
And that's the thing about Wayne, it seems like he puts the people he cares about first. Steve wonders if Wayne is all that lonely when Eddie's gone, or if he just comes into the store so often because he knows Steve is.
"I'd love that." Steve hopes things work out with the Munsons.
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A Promise
Brady had been unenthusiastic about going to the gym. Actually, “unenthusiastic” may have been a light way to put it. Although he should have had the typical confidence of a college senior, his low self-esteem and horrible body image rendered him unable to socialize with others. Brady had made a promise to himself that visiting the gym would solve his problems. He hoped working out would at least combat his issues with body image, and then eventually friends would begin to magically come to him.
But now, standing in the massive gym, Brady could not help but let his eyes widen as he scanned the room of all the machines. Why were there so many–did humans truly have so many body parts to further develop? It was insane, overwhelming in a way that Brady was beginning to feel suffocated.
“Previewing all the options?” a male voice caught Brady by alarm.
“Uhh…” he swung around to greet the mystery person, immediately having to trace his eyes up along the rippled chest before him. Thanks to his smaller, hairless body, Brady appeared like a boy next to this man. “Yeah,” Brady stupidly replied, holding back a blush. He had not meant to lie, but the handsome jock twice his size caught him completely off guard.
Unfazed, the muscular jock stuck out a hand with a pleasant smile, “Michael.”
“Brady.”
“The gym truly has everything a bro needs. It’s so great that the college focuses on funding areas for the majority of students, unlike other schools,” Michael remarked. Obviously there was a backhanded comment in that remark, but Brady was a little too infatuated to notice.
“It is impressive,” Brady agreed. “There’s just so much to work with, I don’t know where to begin.”
Michael chuckled, jabbing a bit at the shorter male. “What? A guy like you! By the looks of it I’d bet you follow a pretty rigid routine.”
“Huh?” Brady peered down at his baggy sweatshirt and sweats, confused.
“Don’t think your pump cover can fool me,” Michael poked. “A bro like you should only wear tight, revealing stuff anyway.”
Brady suddenly felt extremely self-conscious. There were too many places his extra weight hung off him weirdly. “Uhhh…I…I don’t really-”
“What's the point of working out if you don’t show it off.”
Brady had an argument, but it suddenly left him, replaced by: “I mean…I don’t want to seem rude.” Subconsciously, he rubbed the back of his head, flexing his huge bicep almost on reflex. Brady did not realize just how much his veins were bulging out, squeezed by the tight black tee.
Michael laughed. “Bro who cares, you’re an alpha male! Take up some space–it’s your right after all.”
Brady thought back to how people had treated him all throughout life. People did look up to him, followed him around like helpless puppies. He had received high grades without even putting in the work, gotten one-night stands with pretty boys by a simple wink. Being ripped had its privileges.
“C’mon, stand a little taller bro. Put some hair on that chest.” Michael gave him a rough, playful pat on the back. Brady straightened back out after a moment, standing eye-to-eye with the other attractive jock. “There ya go, men like us are born superior. I bet you could even crush skulls between those thighs.
“I’ve cracked open a few watermelons in my day,” Brady showcased the glorious muscles underneath his short shorts. He could not help but take a moment to admire his legs, carved beautifully all the way down to his great stompers. It made Brady feel really good; he did deserve to enjoy his muscular body and display it for all to see.
“You got a girl yet?” Michael suddenly asked, pulling Brady back in.
“Uhhhh…” a flash of concern paused Brady.
“You gotta be kidding!” Michael announced with an exaggerated amount of shock. “Who’s gonna keep you in check, bro? You probably work up a sweat beating all those fags back into place, so how else are you gonna relieve that pent-up energy if you aren’t smashing any pussy?”
The statement was a lot. Brady did not have a response immediately, but eventually his face softened, releasing a dumb guffaw. “Yeah bro, you’re probably right. It’s hard being the top dog all the time without getting any thanks.”
Michael smirked, “Course it is! Tell you what, flex those pumps for me and I’ll send them to a few of the chicks I know. I promise you’ll get some action by the end of the day.”
“Really?” Brady could not believe this steal rubbing happily at his beard. “Thanks bro!” Eagerly, he pulled up the lower half of his shirt and pumped his massive arms into the air.
“Oof, I guess you really do work up a sweat. Those pits are ripe, man!” Michael applauded. “Now, let’s get you laid!”
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i actually admire lan wangji's character development a lot more when i acknowledge that prior to wei wuxian's death, he isn't actually as "righteous".
teenage lan wangji is regarded highly because he is upper class, has strong cultivation, and obeys his family and society's strict expectations. his rigidity and responsibility are more guided by the idea that his duty (the "right thing") is rule-following rather than doing actual good, even against those rules.
he's not a perfect stickler for the rules. he can be stubborn and petty, but even the few times he does transgress (e.x. kneeling before the gentian house) he doesn't get very far.
anyway... even with all his manpain struggling-- maybe even because of it, and because of his own lack of political power compared to people like lan xichen or lan qiren-- young adult lan wangji was honestly pretty entitled, even with his genuinely good intentions towards wei wuxian.
instead of doing the more difficult (yet right) thing of speaking up against those persecuting wei wuxian-- calling out his elders and the other clans as wrong, unjust, unrighteous, and acting against them (see jiang clan motto "do the impossible", which wei wuxian embodied very well)-- lan wangji was constantly trying to get wei wuxian to change himself and fall in line with society's expectations to avoid dying.
true, he eventually fights 33 of his family members... but by the time nightless city even happens, once jiang yanli dies, it's far too late.
yes, resentful energy is dangerous, and yes guidao is deeply misunderstood, and yes lan wangji didn't know about the golden core transfer. but even without knowing wei wuxian has no alternative, lan wangji knew that others were incorrectly labeling wei wuxian as evil. he knew the major clans kept attacking and provoking him, and while harder to realize, he could've reasonably seen how wei wuxian's actions are always twisted to demean him as a servant's son.
lan wangji wanted wei wuxian to come back to gusu so he could keep him safe, lock him up. but what would that have even helped in the end? love is a sympathetic cause, but locking up the one you love and never truly addressing why they're in danger is a selfish sort of love that doesn't reach the heart of the issues at hand.
only after wei wuxian's death is lan wangji able to let go of that. wei wuxian owed him nothing, not even change. lan wangji intentionally, purposefully chose each and every single day for thirteen years to remember wei wuxian by embodying what the man stood for, and acting accordingly. despite his grief and pain, he truly does become a good and righteous person.
contrast that with jiang cheng's reaction after wei wuxian's death. of clinging to everything he felt wei wuxian owed him. of vocally, violently demanding retribution after wei wuxian comes back to life. how dare you, why did you, you should've, you must... cattily justifying his aggression with equal parts resentful indignation and unhealthy "love" of their imbalance, of what they used to be.
lan wangji does none of that. by the time we reach the present day storyline, lan wangji, like wei wuxian, lets the past stay past and chooses to do good. even if that means going against the grain of society and expectations. he's a phenomenal person and character. i love him so much
#lan wangji#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#wangxian#CAN YOU TELL WHY I LOVE THIS NOVEL & LWJ SM. I LOVE THEM. mxtx packed SO much into these books i'll always be mentally chewing on it#keri chats#keep twisting junior all you get is clicks
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˗ˏˋ art deco ࿐ྂ "you're not mean, you're just born to be seen"
summary: kokonoi hajime unwillingly has front-row seats to sano "mikey" manjiro's descent into darkness and now he unknowingly watches the start of a new obsession with something a lot prettier that owns one too many mini skirts
pairing(s): kanto!mikey x f!reader
notes: told through koko's eyes and the beginning of yandere!mikey and pre-bonten. heart divider by cafekitsune
warnings: canon typical violence, mentions of weapons, mentions of murder, implied mental health issues, slight bimbo!reader, suggestive themes, mentioned voyeurism, obsession, future yandere(?), not edited we die like my potential
word count: 1690
Sano “Mikey” Manjiro was no longer the man he used to be. Perhaps after killing a bunch of people, part of him had gone numb. Or maybe most of him. He doesn’t feel the same way anymore and it’s clear to everyone around him. His black Toman jacket had been long changed to white and he’s got an appointment with a tattoo artist soon. Kokonoi wonders when it will be his turn to get tattooed next. He wonders when the matching jackets will be changed to suits and their flimsy pipes and bats will be replaced with guns. Kokonoi isn’t sure if he’s looking forward to it or not. Many things have changed quickly and so has Mikey.
Kokonoi Hajime accidentally got front-row seats to Sano “Mikey” Manjiro’s plunge into darkness and it’s not something very fun to watch especially since nothing he does can get the latter out of it. It was almost like Mikey wanted to burn. Like he enjoyed it. Kokonoi Hajime glanced up from his laptop, the soft glow of the screen illuminating his tired eyes. The rain outside pelted the floor-to-ceiling windows, a rhythmic drumming that filled the otherwise silent penthouse. Mikey stood motionless, staring out into the storm as if it held answers to the questions he never voiced. Kokonoi had grown used to this silence, the heavy, unspoken tension that seemed to hang over them like a dark cloud. “Mikey— Oh hi Koko!”
Maybe the only thing stopping Mikey from fully going crazy was you and your damn mini-skirt. You twirl into the room with that infectious energy of yours, your sneakers tapping against the marble floor. The rain pattering against the windows is almost drowned out by your cheerful presence. You greet Kokonoi with a bright smile, your eyes sparkling with a naivety that seems out of place in the world of the Kanto Manji Gang— in Sano “Mikey” Manjiro’s world. “Hi Koko!” you repeat, a playful lilt in your voice
Kokonoi can’t help but crack a small smile at your enthusiasm, the glitter in the inner corners of your eyes shining under the artificial light. You always manage to bring a bit of light into these dark times, even if you don’t fully understand the shadows lurking around you. Mikey, however, doesn’t move. His gaze remains fixed on the storm outside, his reflection a ghostly figure in the glass. Kokonoi watches him, the unease gnawing at him. Mikey's transformation from the once lively, mischievous leader of Tokyo Manji Gang to this silent, brooding figure of Kanto Manji Gang is unsettling. You flounce over to Mikey, your hips swaying with each step. You wrap your arms around him from behind, resting your cheek against his back. “Mikey, come on. You promised we’d watch a movie tonight” you whine, trying to coax him away from the window, glossy lips shifting into a pout
Mikey finally shifts, his shoulders relaxing slightly at your touch. He turns around, and for a moment, Kokonoi catches a glimpse of the old Mikey in the way his dark eyes soften when he looks at you. “Yeah, I did, didn’t I?” he says, his voice a low rumble.
Honestly speaking, in Kokonoi’s opinion, you were kind of a bimbo— in some sense that is. You were top of your class with the goal of getting into law school but here you were in a damn mini skirt, your bruised knees knocking against Sano Manjiro who is a literal fucking criminal. Maybe you have one of those weird fantasies of representing your criminal boyfriend in court. The problem with that though is you and Manjiro weren’t together. You were just a pretty distraction, someone who brought a flicker of life into Mikey’s darkened world, a role you played with such unknowing perfection that even Kokonoi found it admirable. The darkness that enveloped Mikey was thick, suffocating, but you… you seemed to be the only one who could penetrate it, if only slightly with your stupid mini skirt that hugged your hips and thighs so well. “Not feeling it?” You ask him innocently, the tips of your white sneakers knocking against his boots
Maybe you were a little stupid but other than academic smarts, you were emotionally smart too. You didn’t realize just who you were hanging around and what the penthouse you waltzed into was but you knew when Sano “Mikey” Manjiro wasn’t feeling well. Kokonoi admires that because he as well as the other top members of Kanto Manji Gang were yet to figure out Mikey’s emotions. “Not really” Mikey says, his fingers curl around your hip in an almost possessive manner, pulling you closer to him.
Kokonoi watches the exchange, feeling a pang of jealousy mixed with something he can't quite place. Maybe it's envy at your ability to reach Mikey in a way he can't, or perhaps it's frustration at Mikey's apparent detachment from everyone else. Kokonoi watches you wrap your arms around Mikey’s neck. The contrast between Mikey’s brooding presence and your bubbly aura is almost comical, like a scene from a twisted romantic comedy. Kokonoi can’t help but shake his head at the irony of it all. “What’s wrong, Mikey?” you ask softly, your voice laced with genuine worry.
Mikey’s gaze softens as he looks down at you, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone. “Nothing you need to worry about, sweetheart” he murmurs, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead.
Kokonoi watches the exchange, feeling a twinge of envy mixed with a hint of admiration. Despite everything, Mikey still had the ability to care for someone, even if it was in his own twisted way. You pout slightly, not satisfied with his vague answer. “But I do worry about you, Mikey. You know that,” you insist, your well-manicured fingers intertwining with his bruised fingers.
A small, almost invisible smile tugs at the corners of Mikey’s lips. “I know, babe. And I appreciate it” he says, sincerity ringing in his voice.
He leans down to press a lingering kiss to your lips, a silent promise of reassurance. Kokonoi can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at the intimacy between you and Mikey. It’s not that he harbours any romantic feelings for Mikey himself, but rather he envies the connection you two share, a connection that seems to elude him in this world of darkness and violence. As you pull away from the kiss, a bright smile graces your lips once more. Your lip gloss is now transferred onto Mikey’s lips and he doesn’t seem to mind as he licks up the artificial taste, his eyes never leaving yours as he does. It was weird though— You and Mikey weren’t dating but you still kissed and cuddled and did other things like normal couples did. Mikey called you sweetheart, babe, baby, doll, angel and any other sweet endearment his tainted mind could think of but you both weren’t dating. You both aren’t dating but Kokonoi knows the bruises on your knees are from when Mikey’s got you on the floor between his legs and the scratches on Mikey’s back are from you being pinned beneath him. “I’ve been a little stressed though. Come help me out?” Mikey says to you, thumb rubbing away some of the lipgloss that smeared onto your chin when he kissed you
Kokonoi can imagine it clearly— you down on your knees on the hardwood floor in front of Mikey, your pretty eyes wide and watery with drool running down your chin and mascara smudged; your stupid mini skirt hiked up around your hips as Mikey made you take it. “Hm, m’kay” You answer a little too innocently for what Mikey was suggesting at
As Mikey guides you to another room in the penthouse, he looks over his shoulder. “Koko, make sure no one disturbs us”
“Got it boss” He answers, trying to sound as apathetic as possible
The lock on the door clicks and Kokonoi is already scrambling to find his headphones. He’s been a victim of getting hard off listening to your breathy moans and helpless whimpers too many times already and he’s still got work to do. Kokonoi wasn’t a huge fan of being a voyeur like the rest of the sickos and perverts Mikey let into Kanto Manji Gang after all. He barely gets his headphones in when he hears a breathy groan come from the other side of the locked door. He tries to focus on his work, to lose himself in the lines of code scrolling across the screen, but his mind keeps drifting back to the scene unfolding behind the locked door. He can almost picture it—the way you kneel before Mikey, your eyes wide with anticipation, your lips parted in a silent plea. He can hear the soft rustle of fabric as Mikey guides you, his voice low and commanding. It’s a scene that plays out in his mind with disturbing clarity, one that he wishes he could erase but finds himself unable to look away from.
Kokonoi Hajime unwillingly has front-row seats to Sano “Mikey” Manjiro’s descent into darkness. But it seems he’s watching an obsession grow as well.
An obsession that owns too many mini skirts and with a smile as bright as the sun.
Kokonoi wonders how long it will take for that obsession to grow into something unhealthy and something that starts to hurt you. But even as he wonders, a part of him knows that he’ll be there to witness it all. Because in this world of darkness and violence, there are few constants, and Kokonoi has unwittingly become one of them. So he continues to work, his fingers flying across the keyboard as he loses himself in the safety of his own little world, a world far removed from the chaos that surrounds him.
As the night wears on and the sounds from the other room grow louder, Kokonoi can’t help but feel a sense of resignation settle over him. Because in the end, he knows that you’re just as trapped as the rest of them, prisoners of their own making in a world where darkness reigns supreme.
#tokyo revengers#mikey sano#mikey x reader#sano mikey manjiro#tokyo rev#tokyo revengers fandom#tokyo revengers x reader#sano manjiro#sano manjiro x reader#manjiro sano#kanto manji gang#kanto mikey
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Not that anything's a for sure bet but my read on the general situation re: Harris-Walz is that there's going to be a lot less headwind to fight for Harris specifically as opposed to Clinton because the amazing right wing media hasn't had twenty years for poison to seep into the layperson's thoughts about Clinton's "worthiness"
Well, that and the fact that the MAGA crowd are just really, really bad strategic planners (especially since a solid 75% of their strategy is "lol we'll just cheat and win it that way, we don't need anything else.") They howled for 3.5 years about how Biden was too old to serve and should step down, and then when he did, they had zero plan how to run against Kamala and Trump is now practically begging Biden to magically get back into the race and save him. They ran an anti-Shapiro influence campaign by encouraging the antisemitic online left and planning to exploit the issue among Democrats divided on Israel/Gaza, then furiously melted down when Walz was picked and had no plan to deal with him either. Fascism is a helluva drug, kiddos. Don't try it at home.
The reason Harris has been able to rocket so high is simple, which is that she's channeling Obama 08 energy in more ways than one. Obama also came onto the national political scene four years before (with his speech at the 2004 DNC) and four years later, he was the party's nominee. It didn't even matter that he was a skinny brown guy named Barack Hussein Obama, because people were so tired of the chaos and war and incompetence of Bush Jr that they latched onto a simple message of hope and change and the historical nature of his candidacy felt like an optimistic risk worth taking. Why couldn't it be time for the first African American president? Yes, of course, there was incredible vitriol and we are still dealing with that backlash in some ways now, but still.
As I have said before, Trump is technically not the incumbent, but the last 8 years have been dominated by his hatred, chaos, division, rage, and treason in a way even Bush could never quite manage, and when people get to that point, there's a lot of coiled-up energy that has at last come bursting out. We needed Biden's old-moderate-white-man cred to defeat Trump as the sitting president in 2020, when most of his worst scandals hadn't even happened yet, but this is not 2020 (or 2016) and the dynamic is different. We are now on offense and playing to win, people have readily and eagerly embraced the absolute god tier karma that would come from a black female prosecutor finally ending the Orange Menace's reign of terror once and for all, and the Republicans are spitting smoke and spinning gears running frantically through their usual tired old stupid cliche attacks. GAY TRANS EVIL BIRTHERISM SWIFTBOAT FOREIGN FAR LEFT COMMIE LIBERAL HEATHEN!! they scream desperately, trying to find something that sticks. Except this time, no matter how hard the corporate media tries to help them out, nobody is listening. Nobody is buying it. We know exactly what BS they're trying and we're just shrugging and going "Yeah, no. Weird."
It absolutely helps that Kamala is not dragging the ball and chain of 20 years of Republican smear attacks, yes. But there are a lot of reasons why the GOP is imploding before our eyes and it's probably now more statistically likely that there is a blue tsunami than it is that Trump wins. I still cannot, CANNOT, believe it has been barely three fucking weeks. If this is a dream don't want to wake up, etc. Let me goddamn stay in this timeline just a little longer. And if we do the work, we can in fact make it that way, and Yeah. Yeah.
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365 Days from Rot to Hot (Pt. 2).
Your word is your bond. You make a promise to yourself; you keep it. You tell yourself you’re going to do better, you do better, and you keep moving forward and doing better no matter how hard it feels at times. You can’t change yourself out of hatred; you have to do it out of a deep love and devotion to yourself. I cherish my body, I love my soul, and I consider my mind to be one of my best non-physical attributes. When I put all three to work and focus all of my energy on something, it’s hard for me to fail. I would urge you to consider making a promise to yourself to do better and focusing all the good energy you can on making sure that you don’t let yourself down.
Small things make up the larger picture. You have to remember that each piece of the puzzle has to fit, and you have to know that if one thing seems or feels out of place, everything will feel off. Imagine you’re getting ready for the most important interview of your life, and you’re done up to the nines; your hair and nails look great, your outfit is stellar, and you step out and see that your perfect dress isn’t so perfect because you didn’t iron it. Take care of the little things and watch the big picture start to make sense. This doesn’t just apply to physical changes; it also applies to emotional and environmental changes.
Watch who you let around you. If you’re unable to completely remove toxicity from your life or limit your interactions with people, control the amount you tell them. For example, I grew up taking care of my younger brother and sacrificed a lot for him, and we are not on good terms at the moment. I’m not able to just not see him, so what I do is limit the amount I tell him about my personal life, keep our conversations bland but polite, and prevent him from judging my life choices. I’d recommend looking up the gray rock method if you’d like to know more about disengaging.
Take the time to write things down. I find that I’ve made the most progress when I’ve taken the time to write things down and reflect upon them later. I had a serious issue with binge eating for several months, and I began writing about the way I felt when I wanted to binge. I was able to track my feelings, recognize when I was beginning to spiral and figure out what had triggered the spiral, and stop my binge eating in its tracks. This wasn’t all I did, but it helped me identify a behavior that negatively impacted my overall welfare and help to stop it. I do the same with people; I take notes of how I feel after spending time with them, and I also take note of how I feel when I visit certain places.
Don’t focus on meeting a man at the beginning of your journey. The first few months of your leveling-up journey should be solely dedicated to building up your confidence, focusing on your career or your education, gathering more skills, and learning to be independent. You shouldn’t start bettering yourself, immediately jump into a relationship, end it when it becomes clear that you two don’t work well together, and then have to start your leveling up journey from the beginning. Pour into yourself during those first few months, learn how to establish boundaries both with yourself and with others, and devote yourself to your journey. Relationships, both with partners and friends, are better when you’re on stable ground and feeling good.
Pt. 3 will be about creating your own aesthetic/brand.
#richarlotte x#hypergamous heaux#hypergamy#leveling up advice#leveling up tips#hypergamy advice#hypergamy tips#hypergamous woman#black women in leisure#black women in luxury#hypergamous mindset#hypergamy journey#hypergamous lifestyle#hypergamous#leveled up black woman#spoiled black women#black femininity#leveled up woman#leveling up journey#leveled up mindset#leveling up#spoiled heaux#spoiled gf#spoiled girlfriend#splendida#vindicta#diabla#becoming an it girl#becoming her#becoming that girl
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pls shoto / hawks type of women
MHA CHARACTERS TYPE IN WOMEN
#2 Keigo Takami - Hawks
KEIGO TAKAMI - PHYSICAL
He likes his women a lil shorter 😌🫶 Like 5'2 - 5-6 buuutt will GLADLY take on a model height baddie ANY DAY OF THE WEEK "what's the point of wings if I can't use them to fly up and kiss you??" 🤧
AN ABSOLUTE ASS MAN he loves the legs, the butt, all of it and in between but besides be a total tweaker for a nice ass he has a special place in his heart for boobs 🫶 specifically b-c cups though 🌚 he doesn't know why but he likes a smaller size 😉
Siren eyes are his ULTIMATE WEAKNESS something about someone who looks so intense and like they're about to eat him alive bc hes so fucking annoying GETS BRO GOING 🤩 He can tease you all day any day but if you act like he's just another guy to you HE WILL CHASE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE DAMN EARTH ‼️‼️
Sucker for dimples 😌 Loves to see some chubby cheeks with the cutest dimples 🫡 AND SMILE LINES OMFGGG 😍😍😍🙏🙏🙏 he doesn't even know what it is about them but it makes his heart SKIP A BEAT
He LUVS a sun kissed skin look 🌞 like a slightly tanned face with some redness left over from a sunburn, freckles starting to pop up everywhere HE LOVES IT 💥💥💥
Short and stout or tall and skinny he loves it all 🫡🫡🫡 Bro is NOT PICKY 😭 As long as ur face cute hell love you until hell freezes OVVVERRR BRO 🌚🌚🌚
KEIGO TAKAMI - MENTAL
Literally just someone he can vibe with 🙂↕️ If you match energy he will worship you like THE AIR HE BREATHES 😍 Just someone laid back and chill but also can have a fub time and a positive outlook on the future "pessimists are my worst enemy" was once scratched from an interview 🌚
While he loves an optimist and like minded folk realism is the most important thing he could ask for -- Someone who understands his job and the things he has to do 💯 (this stems a lot from the twice incident which i will touch on at the end of this)
Can we all admit he's fs got mommy issues ✋ he would die for a lady who will hold him in her arms at the end of the day and just let him exist in the peace and quiet of his home with her 🙂↔️
SMART WOMEN 😍 he loves someone smart, youre working to get ur PhD? SMASH‼️ A teacher ?? SMASH‼️ Literally any job or skill that requires emotional strength and a BIG BRAIN and he's weak in the knees 🤭
KEIGO TAKAMI - RANDOM
Blissfully unaware people who will lounge in bed all day reading a magazine then running up to him as he gets home from work peppering him will kisses is like a very specific want of his - 😭 bro just wants someone to love him fr ✊😔
Has a weird thing for teachers -💀 Anytime a girl is like "Oh yeah I never told you? I'm a Pre-K teacher!' his eye twitches and he feels like he's going insane 😶🌫️ (in the best way possible)
You're the only person he's ever told this or would let do this to him - but give him back scratches at the base of his wings AND HE EVAPORATES 🫠🫠
NERDS 💯💯💯 A secret fangirl???? He's never living it down. EVER. He'll bring you home limited edition, u released, ect ect merch for, not only him, but ALL THE TOP HEROES bc he gets first dibs from being so high in the charts 😌
Going of off nerds again, IF YOU CORRECT HIM ON SOMETHING (literally anything...it's concerning) HE GETS SOOO HOT AND BOTHERED he's never been able to figure out why but being out in his place by someone so intellectually advance does something to him 🧍♀️
THATS THE POST!! (but here's some end credits and comments rq 😉)
About the twice situation, although he recognizes what he did was wrong, he doesn't regret it, because it truly changed the tide and outcome of the war, and he needs someone who sees that and defends him whole heartedly ✋
ANYWAYS I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THIS REQUEST ‼️ I've never been a huge fan of hawks so it was SO much fun coming up with stuff and diving more into his character ‼️‼️ I hope y'all enjoy 😉
also...idk if y'all can tell... but I NEED HIM AND FUYUMI TO BECOME A THING PLEASE HORIKOSHI ID GIVE YOU MY LIFE (the head cannons have nothing to do with that shit it's all separate it just happens to line up VERY well) 😍
BYYEEEE THANKYOU ‼️
#mha#bnha#mha hawks#keigo takami#mha takami keigo#bnha keigo#keigo x reader#keigo tamaki#hc#headcannons#bnha hawks#hawks x reader#hawks headcanons#hawks#my hero academia#boku no hero academia
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Are SKZ genuinely good people?
I’m gonna preface this by saying I do not know them and am not affiliated with them. This isn’t fact, take this as speculation. This is just a tarot reading for fun. Dont @ me if they have some crazy insane scandal.
ALSO, why did this end up as a psych evaluation? 😭
Probably my most draining reading to date. Like by the end I could barely type.
Overall
They’re all generally and objectively at least decent people. Albeit, it depends on what lense they’re viewed through and what you find acceptable and what you don’t. They act like you’d expect from Koreans culturally except the things like…Thatre genuinely insane and go against human rights, obviously. But some of those things may make them seem like bad people. Some of them also may be morally ambiguous, and easily swayed by their friends this way or that.
Chan
Generally yes, despite his issues, he’s an objectively good person. But he can be very harsh and aggressive, and so blunt that he hurts people and doesn’t necessarily care? Because he’s developed to a point where he’s starting to realize he can’t fault himself when other people complain about things that just aren’t true but it’s also blinded him from the fact that sometimes he has to look at their perspective and explain his reasonings and actions, which can make him seem like a bad person to others. He also overthinks things and forms opinions based on those things. Meaning he can glance at one person and judge/stereotype them very very heavily, and run with that completely. He can also criticize people to the point it’s flat out cruel without realizing it. He’s also very sensitive and emotionally immature. So generally he’s a good person objectively, but subjectively others may beg to differ.
Minho
He’s objectively a good person. He’s solved a lot of his character issues by a lot of inner exploration and thinking deeply about his failed relationships and the reasons for their failure. He’s tried and failed things and he’s learned from what he’s failed. He can be a little vain and moody but he’s compassionate and graceful in the face of those he loves, which is honestly a good thing. He has a strong will and a strong mind, and is constantly growing and probably has someone in his life inspiring this growth. His spirit is very tied to his finances. He likes to be financially stable and independent. Probably the type who wants to be on the level where his family is set for generations. He’s very lucky in that aspect. He also does a lot of charity. But he’s also an overthinker who scrutinizes and judges people a lot. His mind is restless and honestly is probably the type who cannot sleep because his mind is constantly working and working and he’s always thinking. (I can honestly relate. My parents used to get mad at me for it because I’d be trying to sleep then next thing they knew I was in their doorway asking them a random question that came to me. He was probably the same growing up.) he’s never satisfied though. He doesn’t particularly like or find joy in much of anything. (Can relate) and nothing can hold his interest for too long an/or satisfy him. He’s very lucky and probably trusts in the universe a lot. Also I randomly started crying reading this and I was wondering why he’s so uncharacteristically chatty and his energy isn’t as stable as usual so like…Do with that information what you will. He’s, despite what most may think, mildly optimistic. Or at least by nature he is. But that has probably been hammered down into the ground. He’s also very lucky did I mention that? He loves those around him very fiercely and unconditionally. It’s hard for him to even like let alone love someone or something. But once he does there’s no letting go. His love is deep and it’s strong. And he’s always there for others.
Okay I’m getting sidetracked but like some of these cards I don’t think are even on the subject this man is like going through it emotionally. Like he’s DEPRESSED DEPRESSED. I’m talking sobbing, unable to even move or think having a mental breakdown heart racing blood pressure rising whole body trembling thinking he’s dying panic attack. So.
I feel bad.
Despite how volatile and turbulent he is inside, outside he’s serene and is extremely good at keeping secrets. This is the Scorpio coming through. People, even family and friends, only know things about him he wants them to know. Nothing more.
He’s happy with friends and loved ones though. And…Pleasure.
This man can’t go from having mouth diarrhea to having a panic attack to being horny that’s not how that works. Between him and Hyunjin I’m pretty sure I’ll be a leaky faucets the entire reading because WHY AM I CRYING AGAIN? I’m not even sad.
Also Laffy Taffy by D4L randomly came to mind. Dunno if that’s me or him.
Either way we’re done here before III end up with an existential crisis.
What’s also interesting is I started with him not because I necessarily wanted to but I was physically incapable of reading for any of the others first and reading for him kept calling to me.
Do with that what you will.
Changbin
He kind of is. This is another thing where he’s more morally gray because of cultural things. He’s optimistic and compassionate with a lot of trust in the things around him, and the Korean…Bubble in general. He’s also very very lucky. Another whose spirit is…Connected to more material things. But here I think it means worldly attachments, desires, etc. like money and relying on the people around him to feel good. He’s very destructive. Things he does, has done, will continue to do, and will do have, will, and are ruining things for a lot of people. He destroys. I’m getting here he might’ve done something in the past or will do something in the future that may put the entire group at risk. But I’m not about to go into detail about that because I don’t wanna know.
Randomly thought of Beomhan. Which…Coincidentally he had an incident.
He’s a courageous free spirit with a love or life. He’s easily excitable and very very easy to please and make happy. He has a lot of secrets, though, even if he doesn’t outwardly seem like the type who does. He’s very volatile and secretive.
I’ve also been getting some odd hyper fixation with Hyunjin vibes this entire time. Like some parts had that underlying ‘Hyunjin, Hyunjin’. This isnt even the Hyunjin stan in me speaking because I’m never like that and it’s more…Detached. This is coming from Changbin. Either he’s currently obsessed, has done or will do something to him, or has done or will do something with him; either one.
He’s another that’s not easily satisfied. He constantly wants more and more and more and more. He craves it. Specifically affection and attention. I’m getting he may be insecure and craving validation.
He’s very very intelligent and theoretical.
He takes a lot of things for granted and is quick to throw them away for the thrill. People, things, anything. He gets bored when things are too familiar. He loses motivation when things are too easy.
He’s working through some of these issues though. Probably in therapy. (Unwillingly.)
This card popped out with another Hyunjin like underlying energy. Specifically two of chalices. And I’m getting a strong love indicator.
Man why are we hyperfixating on Hyunjin today don’t come for me for this this isn’t even my doing 😭
Hyunjin
True neutral. The good and the bad balance out. I’m also getting compromise here. Like he would’ve been entirely one way or entirely another if he didn’t have one particular person to tell him not to engage in certain behaviors.
So.
Getting this person may have had a Libra moon but that’s not important.
(Got a specific thing here but I’m not about to start shit so imma mind my business 💆🏾♀️)
He sees himself as an absolute failure and I’m going to pretend I didn’t get the vibes I got but like…Can someone get this man therapy before he goes off the deep end?
LITERALLY?
Imma shut up now
Anyways, he’s so loving and naive and impulsive. TOO loving and naive and impulsive. To the point where his morals are so easily swayed by those around him. The company you keep is a reflection of you is strong in this one.
He can be more on the conservative side.
He had solid foundations in life and is very very materially secure and values that. He spends money Willy nilly and throws it everywhere not because he’s not good with it but because he simply has the means to. I get the vibes he probably has some very good investments going.
He moves from one thing to the next quickly. He can never stick around. He likes challenges but if he doesn’t perfect it quick enough he throws it away. He doesn’t like things to be easy but he hates when things are hard. It’s like there’s a constant push and pull nothing can ever quite meet.
He’s wise, fair, and open-minded. He cares about how he’s perceived, and is very shockingly very perceptive. He’s also manipulative because he cares so much about how he’s perceived.
He values equality and unity. He also values balance and his close bonds, specifically with his friends.
It reminds me of that lyric that’s like “Cause you only listen to your fucking friends.”
And it’s not a Hyunjin reading if he isn’t oddly horny.
He has a lot of fantasies and delusions. He will make up an elaborate scenario of his partner cheating on him and will become so convinced its intuition he’ll quite literally gaslight himself into thinking he’s right and any and everything the s/o does or says from that point will be twisted into confirmation. This goes for every relationship he has though.
He’s very kind.
He’s healing a lot from old wounds and trauma right now. But healing is also making it all surface and suffocate him. Probably restoring old bonds he probably shouldn’t have
Very impulsive and generous.
He’s been happier because of his group.
And sex. Because of fucking course.
Can you tell I’m already fed up with this reading? 😭
Han
He is. A very generous one at that. Just a very insecure one with 0 self esteem who needs the validation of others to keep himself from being severely and debilitatingly depressed.
He’s helpless and exhausted and can’t focus on anything anymore. His self esteem is probably getting worse and worse. Reminded me of when he had to stop and lay down on stage from what I assume is exhaustion just based on the vibes and body language.
He’s in pain and he’s suffering and there’s a lot of bitter truths here. He also probably wants people to break free of their delusions about him to relieve that pressure. May possibly do something stupid to do that.
But he’s lucky and convinced whatever the hell he believes in will deliver and everything will turn out for the best.
He’s patient, being careful, and working hard in the meantime. Just barely keeping himself afloat. He’s waiting for his chance to be happy.
He has no motivation. He’s burnt out, and taking things for granted and taking unnecessary risks. Which is directly contradicting the earlier statement. I think before is what he thinks he’s doing and this is what’s actually happening.
There’s such heavy emphasis on the sorrow and the pain and the suffering. He’s probably really really depressed right now.
Getting he’s on his knees crying and sobbing and begging for something.
Now I’m crying. I didn’t think he’d be another one to make me cry but I’m crying now and it’s most definitely just from this.
His hope is gone, he’s losing money for some reason, he invested so much into something and it failed, and nothing seems to be going right for him.
He’s impulsive and generous and life is going way too fast for him.
He’s very open and honest and knows how to channel his energy into things.
He’s finding happiness in the group, again. I feel like I’ve gotten this for all of them so far.
Felix
He is, and he hopes he is. Even if his energy is very scattered.
He’s going through a lot of difficulties right now, mentally and physically. There’s a threat to his security in some form.
Someone’s being extremely cruel and aggressive towards him and he’s feeling a lot of shame and guilt because of it, or maybe even doing so to someone he cares for and loves.
He’s trying to heal and lick his wounds but it’s so hard.
Getting heavy Bible and religious imagery here. He strives to apply that to his life because he believes it’ll help him be a better person. Probably praying a lot for the situation to get better.
He’s trying to solve all his issues as well as everyone else’s.
Definitely hiding something though.
Someone’s been indulging in more and more debauchery and it’s scaring him. Overindulging, always drunk and intoxicated. As a form of escapism. And he’s tried to help but he feels so out of control. And the person is probably addicted by now.
He’s restless and anxious. His mind is hyperactive.
He’s feeling more creative though. His will is stronger. So is his enthusiasm for his work.
Again, finding joy in his group.
Seungmin
He is. He’s healing and he has a renewed enthusiasm for life. He’s also reaching more of his potential. But he’s afraid. He’s sabotaging himself and he’s so acutely aware of his limitations:
He’s another whose heart and soul is connected to more worldly things. He’s also very opportunistic and money smart.
He’s lucky and all his wishes usually end up fulfilled, so he’s trusting in the universe at the moment that it’ll deliver for him.
He’s also very compassionate.
He’s content and satisfied with where he is, and I’m getting specifically that he feels very blessed at the moment. And even more generous than normal.
But he’s restless and his mind is running rampant.
He’s also being impulsive.
And I’m getting more of that debauchery and escapism influence here, but more vague because it’s Seungmin.
Jeongin
And finally, Jeongin. He’s a good person.
He knows you always need a balance and compromise in life. He’s balanced with a stable head on his shoulders. But he also stalls things and can be overly passive.
He’s feeling lost. There’s secrets and hidden truths and he’s being forced to hide things he’d rather not be involved with let alone be part of keeping under wraps.
Another who’s probably turning back to religion but not as much as Felix is.
He feels more liberated and rejuvenated now, though. More revitalized.
He’s ambitious and achieving a lot in his work due to his efforts. It he’s also struggling with balancing work and his personal life.
He’s in a lot of pain and suffering right now and there’s a lot around him.
Another who’s very money oriented but good with it.
He’s bored and taking life for granted because it no longer has the same risks.
He’s also being oddly vague which he usually isn’t.
There’s a lot of new things in his life. New feelings and maybe a new s/o. A lot of cameaderie and happiness with his group.
He’s trusting himself more and knows he’s going to overcome. Very disciplined and enduring. Determined he’ll get far.
#kpop tarot#stray kids tarot#skz channie#skz bang chan#stray kids channie#stray kids bang chan#skz minho#stray kids minho#lee know#changbin#stray kids hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#stray kids felix#lee felix#skz felix#han jisung#seungmin#jeongin#i.n stray kids
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Moxxie Redesign! (2/4)
You didn’t think I forgot about this did you? ‘,:/
I wanted to base Moxxie off of what his name actually implies, having nerve and determination. Ive almost entirely changed his personality in certain ways. He is still an assassin but he takes his job very seriously and struggles with his inner morals because of this. Being berated by Blitz often leads to him pushing aside his concerns with his job and causing internal conflict instead that he typically only ever talks to these issues about Millie. She is trying to get him to consider therapy but he doesn’t want to lose his “sparkle” (he gives in eventually and goes and it goes fine, this would be around season 2 but definitely after episode 6)
Moxxie also doubles as a medic for any potential injuries at I.M.P (this happens often). Moxxie was also born in greed so he has the more aquatic qualities of a greed imp such as the little headlamp, frills, and gills. And for any fish nerds, yes I know only female angler fish have headlamps, thats the point. Viv has literally no main trans characters so I guess I have to do everything myself. Plus I’m tired of the super straight shit that happened a few years back, Millie isn’t any less straight for dating a trans man. I think Moxxie certainly struggles with his masculinity and also takes his job so seriously as a way to prove to himself that he’s meeting some sort of “masculinity criteria” however he’s fully aware of how silly the mindset is (hes working on it). I think som trans imps may definitely paint their horns like Moxxie, but with certain days I really doubt he gives much of a shit considering it probably gets chipped a lot anyway.
Moxxie still hates his upbringing and the greed ring leaves a sour taste in his mouth, however he prefers to use his knowledge and features from greed in his work. For example, preforming minor surgery under his headlight, it’s goofy as hell and I think any show benefits from some extent of stupid silliness like that. It’s also good for distractions!
Moxxie isn’t always super serious like in this art either, he’s still a bit stupid but still respects himself. Tough nut to crack because of his past but is very kind underneath somewhere.
Heres some notes I went off while working!
- glasses (REQUIRED. Give him those stupid little circle spectacles)
- Get rid of the stupid suit
- Maybe some interesting horn stuff?
- Make him look a bit more like his voice, not sure how to describe this
- Write a boyloser properly
- Probably doubles as a medic? I think he’d be interested in medicine with all that errrm akshully energy he has
- Make him actually look like an adult (I tried)
- More of a fishy tail
- Born in wrath but both parents are greed imps so he has those features + moved back when he was like 6 idk
- Or idk maybe imps change the longer theyre in a certain ring? Could be fun
I have a lot more I could talk about with this guy but I’ll save it for some other posts :3
#helluva boss#helluva boss critique#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss critical#helluva moxxie#moxxie helluva boss#helluva boss moxxie#moxxie#helluva boss rework#helluva boss rewrite#helluva boss redesign#helluva rework#helluva rewrite#helluva redesign#my art
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can you maybe do Ler Swansea headcannons :3 (if you’ve already done that sorry I haven checked your blog💔)
Was gonna make a whole headcanons list for all the characters, so it thought I'd just answer this here. 🙏
Mouthwashing tickle headcanons.
♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎
Curly
LEE
🧡 this man loves tickles but will never admit it.
🧡 his tummy and ribs are his most sensitive spots.
🧡 gets embarrassed when tickling is brought up in convo.
🧡 would always lose tickle fights to jimmy when they were kids. Sometimes on purpose
🧡 will try to keep his laughter as quiet as possible before it becomes too much, and it turns into deep cackles.
🧡 "noho, wahahait! wahaHAHAHAIT-!"
🧡 hadn't been tickled in years until Daisuke, in Daisuke fashion, found out.
🧡 blushes a lot.
🧡 doesn't try very hard to get away as he doesn't want to hurt the person tickling him.
LER
🧡 as a ler, however, his confidence is brought back.
🧡 will want revenge if he's playful and will chase you down to get it.
🧡 this man will tease you the whole time. he likes to play innocent as if he isn't wrecking you underneath him.
🧡 "What? what's so funny? me? tickling you? i have no clue what you're talking about!"
🧡 "Geez, you must think I'm hilarious if you're laughing so much..!"
🧡 he's strong. the strongest guy on the ship aside from Swansea. so pinning you down won't be an issue for him. no matter
🧡 he doesn't want to hurt you or take it too far, so he will check up on you afterwards.
🧡 he's actually very good at tickling. knows everything in the god damn book to get you screaming.
🧡 his favourite thing to do is the claw with his had on the lee's stomach.
🧡 he'll also give killer raspberries. Also, the only reason he attempts to grow his beard.
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
Anya
LEE
🩵 she isn't overwhelmingly ticklish but still is.
🩵 she's ticklish all over, really. but the spots that really get her are her underarms, neck, and her feet. (not in a weird way obviously.)
🩵 she's a giggler in the beginning. but get one of her worst spots, and she'll be squealing.
🩵 her laughter is soft in the beginning, but after a while, she's howling.
🩵 "nohoho, plehehease..! ple-! PLEHEHEASE!"
🩵 she actually doesn't mind tickles. she finds it strangely comforting. but I didn't tell you that.
🩵 will squeal loudly if you surprise her.
🩵 she squeaks. she once did it when Curly was tickling her and was so embarrassed.
LER
🩵 she gives big sister energy when it comes to tickling honestly. her tickles can be either soft or rough depending on what they're for.
🩵 she'll be gentle if she's cheering someone up or if you're, i don't know, not Daisuke. Curly isn't off the hook either.
🩵 however. if you've pissed her off, it's war. Daisuke is a frequent victim.
🩵 she teases no matter if it's soft or rough tickles. either way, she has a way to make you flustered as hell.
🩵 "Come on, it's only a little tickle. It's not so bad... you sound so cute..!"
🩵 "Too much? maybe don't cheat then, you little asshole!"
🩵 her nails are a killer.
🩵 will feel bad if she's taken it too far, which is often the case during board games.
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
Daisuke
LEE
🩷 MY BOY!
🩷 this mf is ticklish everywhere isn't not even funny. more so where there's muscle or bones.
🩷 his worse spots are his tummy, thighs, and hips.
🩷 be ready to give chase if he's not sitting or lying down. cause this man will run for his damn life.
🩷 he'll be giggling before you've even started. he hates anticipation. It makes him very flustered.
🩷 hates it when people blow in his ears. He'll squeal.
🩷 that's why he'll annoy and provoke anyone around him.
🩷 he secretly gets in lee moods a lot. its makes him very flustered and has a hard time asking for help.
🩷 was also very confused when he first got one and was freaking out.
🩷 on the very rare chance he has asked for tickles. he's very, very embarrassed about it.
🩷 he's very weak to rib counting and raspberries.
🩷 has a very loud and high-pitched laugh. you'll think someone is being murdered.
🩷 "NOHO, STAHAHAHAP! IHIM SOHOHOHOHORRY!
🩷 is sensitive to any and every form of tickling.
🩷 will giggle like crazy at soft tickles.
LER
🩷 like Anya, he's giving older brother vibes.
🩷 he's surprisingly strong, not Curly level strong, but can pin you down well.
🩷 knows where everyone is ticklish and it's scary.
🩷 his teases are ruthless. knows exactly what will make you flustered.
🩷 "Aw! right here? it tickles right here, right? I'll have to stay right here then!'
🩷 "At this point, i may never stop!"
🩷 he definitely knows every trick in the book, and one hundred per cent tells jokes to make it seem like you're laughing at them.
🩷 will sometimes take it too far. but will always try not to and make sure you're okay.
🩷 will get excited if anyone asks them to tickle them. he'll act like he's just been asked to serve the country.
🩷 teams up with Anya on occasion.
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
Swansea
LEE
💜 I can't really think of much for Lee Swansea.
💜 I'd say he's a little ticklish on his tummy and sides.
💜 but will quickly swat you away before telling you off. (Daisuke 👀)
💜 has a very wheezy and gruff laugh.
💜 "h-hey-! enohough yohohou..!"
LER
💜 now ler Swansea is different.
💜 he raised two daughters, to he used to play tickle monster with them both.
💜 and ever since Daisuke came into his life, the intern is like the son he never had. so poor Daisuke gets it the most.
💜 when he's in a playful mood, he'll tickle Daisuke for anything. not listening, to cheer him up, to wake him, or just because.
💜 he knows every technique in the book, too. He was a former tickle monster, after all.
💜 he teases a lot. like, this man's will make sure to make you feel even worse better than you already do.
💜 "Listen to ya! squealin' like a damn girl."
💜 "Maybe if ya had gotten your lazy ass up, we wouldn't be here, would we?"
💜 always knows when to back off or when you've had enough.
💜 sometimes will laugh along with you. Only if he's feeling playful.
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
Jimmy
(I know, I know it's jimmy, but let's just pretend he's normal... ish. he's still mean, but he doesn't do any of his crazy shit he did in the game. 😭)
LEE
❤️ he's definitely ticklish, yet he'll never admit it for as long as he lives. he claims it's weak.
❤️ Curly is the only one who knows where he's ticklish and is the only one allowed to tickle him.
❤️ he's a fighter and will kick or punch.
❤️ the only spot he's really ticklish and will get a laugh out of him is his knees.
❤️ squeezing them will get a yell out of him. he'll kick and do anything to get you off.
❤️ his laugh his wheezy and grumbly.
❤️ will swear and insult you through his laughter.
❤️ "g-gehehet the fuhuhuHUUCK OFF MEHE-! FUHUCK YOHOHOU!"
❤️ i wouldn't try to tickle if you're not Curly. you will not survive.
LER
❤️ he's evil. very evil.
❤️ this man is not letting you go until you physically fight him off you. or you're in tears.
❤️ the only two people he's tickled before are Curly, who he's more careful with. but Daisuke? Daisuke had learned his lesson way too many times not to poke fun at Jimmy.
❤️ rough tickles. Damn rough tickles.
❤️ this man will hunt. you. down just to teach you not to mess with him.
❤️ is mean even when he's tickling.
❤️ "It tickles? that's kinda the point, dumbass."
❤️ "Jesus, just how sensitive are you? its kinda embarrassing..."
❤️ will fight you just to pin you down.
♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎
Absolutely loved writing these. They were great fun! 🙏 you can tell who my favourite character is. 💀
Make sure to send over your own headcanons if you wish.
#mouthwashing tickle#mouthwashing tickles#tickle headcanons#mouthwashing headcanons#mouthwashing daisuke#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing swansea#mouthwashing jimmy
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What does the person you can’t get off your mind want to tell you? 𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊
PIle 1 ᶠᶸᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ! PIle 2 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 Pile 3☆𓆏𓍊𓋼𓍊
Choose the pile that resonates with you the most in whatever way you see fit. I ask my spirit guides to place this upon the collective of people that need to see it, and those only. I ask that you are truthful with yourself. So if you are seeing this is a pick-a-pile reading it is for a reason, pls don't take it for granted. Whatever pile you choose and most guided to you is exactly what you need to hear. Always remember roles can be reversed.
** ⚠️TRIGGER WARNING IF YOU DONT WANT TO HEAR THE TRUTH THESE READINGS ARE NOT FOR YOU!!!⚠️
Pile 1
This pile is VERY VERY harsh
The Chariot reversed, Death, The Devil reverse, Judgement reverse, 10 of swords
Pile one this person wants to tell you its over. I don’t know what happened between you guys for the energy to be so harsh, but they are done and they aren’t looking back. Point blank period. You may have been over giving to this situation where a person was keeping secrets from you. It seems this connection was very in and out. They are exhausted from the constant back and forth and power struggles here. They felt like no matter where they turned with you, the connection just would not go right. It was constant pattern of toxicity here that they want to be released from. This connection has really hurt them bad and taken toll on them, they feel that its finally time to take their energy back and heal parts of themselves you might have had a part in breaking. This is a very painful ending for the both of you, but its no turning back. Whatever happened here changed everything. They are in immense pain, I see a lot of tears and releasing. They feel you guys weren’t right for each other but the toxicity was very addicting. This may have gone on for a long time, maybe even years and its finally on its wits end. This person really felt like you did them wrong. You may have cheated on them or they cheated on you. It feels very karmic. Release
1010 | 111 | 11 | 1011 | XX | XV | 3 years
“love aint got to shit to do with me and you“
“Don’t take nothing for you to love me babe”
“All these b*tches don’t wanna be cheated on, but all these b*tches want to cheat”
**alot of little Kim songs were channels this may be a femme fatale, lilith energy.
Pile 2.
3 of swords, 6 of wands reversed, hanged man, the star, emperor in the reverse
This maybe someone from the past that you disconnected from because they didnt take any action towards you. They are still trying to figure out where their emotions lie with you but there is a feeling of despair. I feel like this pile feels like you left them hanging when they really wanted you, and this cause their confidence and self esteem to plummet. You may have ghosted this person or they ghosted you because they didnt have the courage to come forward. You make them feel small and powerless and they constantly overthink how the this connection ended and what they could have done to change the outcome to something better. They really saw a future with you in the past but lack of confidence is what held this back on either party. They wish they could show the depth of their emotions but I don’t see them coming forward with this information and just keeping it within their head. They are working on healing their own confidence at this point. You both may have been waiting for each other to make the first move but nobody ever did. They seem to have a low self-confidence in general or aren’t as mature. They might have trust issues as well and its hard for them to even trust in the first place. You might have declined their calls or didn’t respond to their message, they might have thought that there was someone else.
Pisces Aquarius Aries
“Dont you be holding back your love, don’t you be holding back
Pile 3.
3 of swords, Hanged man reverse, 7 of wands reverse, 3 of wands, ace of swords, 9 of wands
Pile 2 and Pile 3 are very similar. I HIGHLY advice that if you chose this pile to read pile 2 as well. I feel this person is very afraid to tell you some sort of truth. There is a lot of pain being experienced here form this person and I feel it is because they are afraid to take action towards something they really have to say to you. This connection seems to be divinely guided by your spirit guides and whatever happened here was supposed to happen in both of you guys’ life to teach you a valuable lesson, no matter how painful it was. Although this person is very afraid, they are gaining confidence to come in and tell you some truth. They are standing up to their fears and freeing themselves from shame. They are feeling very empowered in the moment. This person felt like they got a false start with you and they now want to reintroduce themselves, for what they really are and be truthful about their true character. They may have came off as a player. They are taking huge strides within themselves to come correct. They seem to still be stuck on hurt and regrets of the past. They are completely re-inventing themselves as of right now and working on how they can be as brave as possible. I see them wanting to come in very bold and direct, they are just looking for the right time. They would like to tell you that whether it works out with you or not they are in a place where they are happy just being the best version of themselves.
“I work to please me cause I can’t please you, that’s why I do what I do”
Fire sign energy heavy
141 | 144 | 414 | 114
Dallas
“Blocked me from your phone, im still loving you"
#Spotify#pick a card#pick a pile#pick one#channelled message#tarot#tarot cards#divination#tarot reading#lgbtq#intuitive readings#intuition#music
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Coven: @fraugwinska @minkdelovely @sugoi-writes @macabr3-barbi3 @synamartia (banners by Syn!)
Masterlist for Kinktober (Thank you Syn!)
Kinktober 2024 - Day 13 - Handcuffs
Charlie naively thinks handcuffs will make her father-figures come to see how much they have in common.
꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷
「warnings/promises: RadioApple, handcuffs, blowjob, handjob, ex wife was hot so what can he do, Luci had a fantasy ready to go for this which is super sus」
꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷
MDNI ⛓️🔥
The handcuffs were meant to make Lucifer and Alastor spend time together. Surely, Charlie thought, if they just got to see how similar they were they’d become better friends!
So with a little magic and fast hands, she trapped her father and her hotelier into her newest activity.
It began horribly, the two nearly ripping off their limbs to separate from each other. But after a few hours and with a lot of Charlie’s high pitched pleading, they settled.
Alastor being right handed and Luci being left handed meant every time Alastor turned the page of his paper he yanked the other man’s phone from his range of vision. Every time Luci picked up his tea up Alastor was wretched forward and to the right.
The tug and pull went on all day. When it was time to prepare for bed, everyone having their rituals, Charlie was nowhere to be seen.
Of course she isn’t, they thought in unknown unison.
Alastor suffered through Lucifer’s indulgent bubble bath, sitting on a foot stool beside the claw foot tug. His fur got wet and soapy every time Luci ran his hands into the water.
He had his revenge though, Lucifer sitting in a modest wooden chair beside Alastor’s own plush reading chair.
Then an argument came over whose bed to use.
“Mine is bigger.” Lucifer stated.
“Mine is here.” Alastor pointed at his bed in front of them.
“Mine is bigger.” Lucifer arm’s stretched out for emphasis.
“And mine has never had you and your former wife in it.”
That did it.
Lucifer was unhappy to be on the right side of Alastor’s bed, the left was his side, but it wasn’t possible like this. Unless they both wanted to sleep on their stomachs, which Luci could manage but Alastor refused the position. He claimed it was an issue of security but Lucifer was sure he was just being difficult for difficult’s sake.
Alastor’s sleep came easily, but was interrupted by the pull of his arm and a jingle of metal links. In the darkness of the room, he needed several seconds to recognize the motion.
He yanked his arm back, “What the living hell are you doing?!”
Luci whined, tugging in turn, “I was almost done.”
“Why did you start?!”
His pout was hidden in the dark, “It just got like that and…It wouldn’t go away.”
“They don’t just get like that. I do have one, after all.” Alastor held his right arm high in the air, therefore holding Luci’s dominant arm too.
“You mentioned her. So… I was thinking about… better times in our bed.” Luci let his body be pulled up with the force, muscles slack with an overwhelmingly pathetic energy.
Alastor crossed his arms, keeping Luci from returning his hand to his lap. He tried to fall back asleep, but a small whimper made his ears turn and tore him back from rest.
“Use the other hand!” He snapped.
“But it can’t keep the pace even and it’s gets tired faster.”
“Fuck, fine! Just make it fast.” Alastor dropped his hand, and Luci’s, heavily into the other man’s stomach.
Luci’s eyes shined in the shadows, quickly wrapping his fingers around his shaft and returning to stroking at the thought of his estranged wife.
Barely 90 seconds later Alastor growled, “Why is it taking so long?”
“Well now I know you’re awake! For hell’s sake can you stop being such an asshole?”
When the up and down movement started again, the clinking and shaking of the chain moved to the cuff itself and began to irritate Alastor’s wrist. He was at his wits end when the metal tugged at his fur and he entirely lost his patience. Smacking away Luci’s hand, Alastor sat up and took over with languid strokes.
Luci stiffened in every sense of the word, a choked out, “What the fuck are you doing?” barely escaping.
“What does it look like? Speeding this up. I’m tired.” He chided, “Turn on the lamp.” When Luci waved his right arm around dramatically to show it was too short the taller man rolled his eyes, “With your magic, sire.” A respectful moniker wrapped in a seethingly disrespectful tone. Luci snapped and a bedside lamp lit up.
With his sight restored, Alastor watched Lucifer’s shiny cockhead disappear and reappear as his foreskin glided over it. He didn’t need to see to do this, but he was curious.
The king wasn’t so large, but he was getting heavier and heavier with every swipe. Soon his skin was drawn back and no longer offering Alastor any help. Running his thumb over Lucifer’s weeping slit he spread as much precum around as he could to lubricate his fingers.
Luci twitched, his free hand drawing up to his chest to grip his pajama shirt. He hadn’t meant for Alastor to help, he just had been thinking of happier times with Lilith.
But as he closed his eyes to focus on finishing this for both of their sakes, he found Lilith melting away. The royal bedchamber was gone entirely, replaced by a blue toned bayou and bright red eyes beaming down at him. He could imagine how they got there, perhaps a camping trip to help the group bond. Alastor sneaking over to his sleeping bag, wanting to please his king for the perfect choice of location…
His first moan was loud and long, taking Alastor by surprise. His ears folded forward and followed his eyes to Luci’s face. He was chewing on his bottom lip, eyes clenched shut as he whimpered a much lovelier version of his earlier whine.
Releasing his shirt, he shifted to get his right hand under his hips and ass. Alastor watched, hand slowing slightly since his attention was now divided, as Luci began prodding and rubbing circles around his hole.
Alastor had momentarily forgotten handjobs were a sexual act, and that sometimes one act led to others. He picked up his speed, rubbing his palm over Luci’s swollen cock as a finger slipped into him.
“Alastor,” so softly spoken that for a moment Alastor thought he’d just imagined his own name. In Luci’s private show, Alastor was roughly preparing him. A second finger pushed in beside the first, Luci’s hips rising off the bed as he sang out another, “Alasto- aah!” Cut off by a more vigorous moan.
The sinner’s ears were twitching, turning to Luci’s mouth and back to the sharp wet sounds of his lap and ass. He wasn’t thinking about Lilith anymore, clearly.
Why was Alastor’s mouth watering? He caught his breathing before it could run away from him. He watched somewhat mesmerized as those two small fingers pump in and out, deeper and deeper and matched the pacing of his hand to the rhythm. A high pitched noise sounded from Lucifer’s throat.
“Put in another finger.” Alastor instructed.
Luci’s self fucking stopped, finally opening his eyes, “What?”
“You heard me,” Alastor reoriented himself to kneel between his king’s legs and widened them with his thighs. “Another.” His eyes were trained on Luci’s “free” hand. Luci’s ass ground down as he squeezed a third finger in. The stretch was more than he needed to cum, a burn that grew as he restarted his thrusts. “Now you can call out my name,” he said it low, static popping in the tense air between them.
Lucifer didn’t close his eyes again. The fantasy was trash compared to the reality before him. Alastor’s eyes fixed on him in the low light of the room, and he could have sworn he saw him lick his lips. “Aaah! Ha, Alastor-,” Luci’s hips began to rock up into the tight fist working him with a suspicious skillfulness. “Nngh!” Alastor brought his other hand to hold his balls, almost testing how tight and heavy they felt in his palm.
But when that hand then gripped the base of his cock hard, Luci’s knees drew into Alastor’s sides. His cuffed hand grabbed the radio demon’s wrist and stopped him. “Slow down— it’s, it’s too much.”
With an audible and clearly for show, “Tsk,” Alastor took Luci’s left hand and pinned it into the pillows above the smaller man’s head. With both of his hands now preoccupied, Alastor looked down at the bright red cock between them. A line of precum dribbled out and onto Luci’s snow toned skin. And then he remembered he was a cannibal, who’d not yet eaten every essence of his fellow sinners. Let alone that of someone as pure as a fallen angel.
Alastor scooted his hips closer and closer to the headboard, raising Luci’s lower body up and over just a little until he could get his lips around his majesty’s dick.
“Unholy hell—,” Lucifer’s fingers quickened. There was an eroticism in pretending he couldn’t just rip his hand back down and pry Alastor off of him. Three fingers? Was that close to how it would feel if they— Something in the idea of someone, anyone, in hell having the true upper hand on him made his pleasure crescendo, as quickly as his core could tighten that cord of tension in his gut snapped. Lucifer came hard into Alastor’s mouth, feeling his tongue jump and undulate to swallow all he was giving.
Alastor lifted his head and began coughing, black eyes narrowed on Lucifer, “You could have fucking warned me!”
The sound of Alastor’s voice was drowned out by the hum of his own blood pounding in his eardrums. He couldn’t have, though. He was rendered entirely mute by the sight and sensation of Alastor sucking his cock to form any noises at all let alone words.
Through a blissed out haze Luci sighed and pulled out his fingers. He motioned with his chin to Alastor’s lap between them, “Seems like you have a problem now too. Should I lend you a hand?”
⋅˚₊‧ ଳ⋆Masterlist.ೃ࿔*:・
˖ ݁𖥔.Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult.𖥔 ݁ ˖
@eris-norwega @reath-solia @catticora , @angelicribbons , @xalygatorx
@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @moonmark98
, @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog ,
@thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies
@howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @fizzled-phoenix , @star-kujo-platinum
, @a-case-of-attachment, @multifandomfanatic02 @watereddownmilk , @bontensbabygirl @smoky000
@hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain
@harley2223-blog , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima ,
@ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby
@dontfuckbutimfab @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12
#hazbin hotel#radioapple smut#Radioapple#hazbin hotel fanfiction#hazbin hotel smut#kinktober 2024#covenworks2024
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Sweet Escape
Pairing: Rafe x single mom reader
Summary: Moving to Kildare with your best friend and daughter was the perfect move. The little island is perfect, the people are nice, and you are finally at peace. Then Rafe comes in with his perfect smile and charm, sweeping you off your feet. The only issue is if you are ready to let someone else in.
Warnings: None
Wc: 5.1K
series masterlist
Chapter 2: Oh Baby
“What are you all mopy about?” Jo asks with a mouthful of her breakfast. “You got flirted with last night, you should be happy.”
You hum at her as you help Violet with the mess she’s making. All morning you’ve been in your head thinking about Rafe. Since you found out you were pregnant and the dad left you, the only thing on your mind was just Vi. So when a handsome, full of himself, sweet talker of a man made you want more of him it was a shock.
It’s not like you haven’t had the attention of guys before or after having a kid, but none of it seemed important to you. So why are you so bothered about last night? Jo’s right you should be happy but all you feel is stressed. “I don’t know. I think I just need to focus on me and Vi right now.” Jo drops her fork and looks up at you. “Haven’t you been doing that the moment you found out about her? Can’t put your life on pause because you have a kid. Yeah it’s great that you want to focus on her, she should always be first, but think about yourself too.”
You are thinking about yourself. Last night you had alcohol in your system so you didn’t think properly. Drunk you was into him only because of the fact you were drunk and nothing else. He was rude when you had met him earlier and the sober you didn’t like him. So there’s no need to really dwell on it.
“He was just flirting, he probably just wanted me to give him that flower order. It didn’t mean anything.” You can feel Jo’s eyes staring you down, you look her in the eyes. “Plus I’m not looking for anything. I like things the way they are.” Violet shoves a piece of her pancake in her mouth. “Ywah.” She comments as if she knows what you are talking about.
Jo really doesn’t say anything else, only telling you that you shouldn’t shut something down before it even happens. After breakfast you got Vi and yourself ready. When the two of you were ready, you headed off to the shop. You had made sure to bring the toddler with you as a buffer. Jo and June could tell what you were doing, the duo whispering about how ridiculous you are being. Last night June waited up for the two of you and got the whole run down.
She basically told you the same thing her grand-daughter did. Rafe is super rich and has a history of violence with others and cops. It was shocking because he looks so well put together, guess looks really can be deceiving. June saw the look of disappointment on your face when she finished talking. “People can change so who am I to judge? The boy seemed to have changed after his dad died.”
You shake the words out your head, willing yourself to just forget about last night. Everything is fine because no man in their twenties wants to be with someone who has a kid. You’ve found out that every time you tell a guy you had a kid, they run away just like her dad. It’s something you’ve come to terms with and it doesn’t bother you.
Violet runs right into the shop once you open up the doors. You keep the close sign on so no one tries to come in like yesterday, he can just knock. For a little bit, you chase her around, avoiding the flowers so they don’t fall. For someone who didn’t get a lot of sleep last night she has a lot of energy this morning. June said that she had woken up once and took her a little to go back to bed. But after you checked in on her, she kept getting up and wouldn’t go back to sleep.
By the time Rafe is supposed to get there, the little girl is slugging around the store rubbing her eyes. You looked at the clock and saw that it’s almost twelve, he should be here soon. Looking at your daughter you can see her tiny yawns as she tries to keep playing with you. Vi usually has a nap around 1 but since she can barely keep her eyes open you take her to the office so she can nap on the couch. As soon as her body hits the cushions she’s out, her light snores making you smile.
It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve seen her sleep or put her to sleep, her snores are your favorite sound. You still remember the nights where you would just sit there and listen to them because they let you know she was fine. She looks so peaceful sleeping, your baby that needs to be protected at all costs. Closing the door to the office you made up your mind, no boys, even the really cute ones.
Right on queue, there’s a knock on the front door. You walk over and open it to let him in. “Hey. I didn’t know how you like your coffee but I just put some milk and sugar in it.” Sure enough when you look at the hand extended towards you there is a cup in it. “Hi. Thank you, that’s really sweet. You didn’t need to get me anything.” You lead him further into the store, to the back open room.
Most of it is empty since this is where you set up all of the flowers to display. “Think of it as my apology for running off on you last night.” Rafe watches as you fidget with some of the petals of a flower, avoiding the topic of the previous night. “I wanted to stay but I had to help my friend out with something.” His eyes track your movements, noting how tense you look in this moment. “It’s okay really. I figured you had somewhere to be.”
Rafe is getting ready to say something to you and changes his mind. He must have read things wrong last night, he thought you were into him. Setting his own coffee down he walks closer to you, leaning on the bench where you are looking at some flowers. “I’m being straightforward here aren’t I? Sorry I just thought you were also into it last night.”
Your eyes scan his body, gliding up his chest and his face to see his eyes. “I was. It’s just.” There’s no need to finish your sentence, he moves away from you to put some distance. “Don’t have to explain, You woke up and realized it was a mistake, no worries.” The way he says it makes you feel guilty, an undertone of something you can’t place. He won’t look at you know, the rejection feeling raw to him. Sure he’s been rejected before but he really thought there was something more.
It’s crazy to think that a person he just met can make him feel this way. His whole life he’s been rejected, every chance of happiness ripped away. For heaven's sake even his own mom left him with someone who hated him. Even at the young of eight his parents knew he would be a failure. That’s the reason why his mom up and left all of them, he’s heard Ward yell it at him plenty of times. Then right when he feels like he got Ward's approval he ran off with Sarah and died just to get away from him.
So yeah, being upset about some random girl rejecting him is crazy. He wishes he could go back to when he was giving you a hard time about the flowers, maybe if he was nicer you would have given him a shot. Everyone on the island has written him off already and just a few days of moving here so have you. “What flowers do you have? Rose said I need to get Lily’s and maybe another flower. So what would go well with that?”
Rose?
He was flirting with you when he was already seeing someone? This is exactly why you need to focus on yourself. The slight hurt feelings you are feeling right now shouldn’t even exist but here they were. “Pansy’s are always a good choice and even roses, It’s up to you honestly.” It was a little awkward showing him the ropes of what he needs to do. It was like the two of you didn’t know how to act around the other once flirting was off the table. Another crazy concept because you just met.
For an hour, you two work on the center pieces. The first few Rafe made weren’t the best, he couldn’t seem to get the right number of flowers in each. They were over crowded but after your help they looked good. “You need to add more greenery to break up the flowers. Also try not to add too many, it takes away their beauty.” Rafe just nodded along taking notes.
After a while he got the hang of it and you didn’t need to help him. If he wasn’t super rich you might have offered him a job that you couldn’t pay him for. It was good he got the hang of it because that meant you could focus on making more. You were so focused you didn’t hear the bang in the office door.
“What was that?” Rafe asked, looking around as he holds scissors and a flower stem. You look up to question him and hear the bang this time. “Momma.” Rafe gives you a puzzling look and you get up to let Violet out of the room. “Sorry it’s my daughter.” His look just gets deeper. “You have a daughter?”
You ignore him and keep walking. When you open the door Vi’s arms automatically wrap around your legs. “Did you have a good nap baby?” Your hand brushes the back of her head, taming the rouge pieces. “Mhm.” She rubs her head on your thigh. It was something she picked up over the years. You would nuzzle into her when you would wake her up, you guess after some time she decided she wanted to do it too.
She grips your hand as you walk her to the backroom. Rafe’s been watching the door like a hawk after you left. What do you mean daughter? Does this mean you have a boyfriend? Fuck of course you have a boyfriend, that’s why you were backing out of last night. What a poor sucker, can’t even keep his girlfriend happy enough so she doesn’t flirt or cheat. Rafe bets he would be able to keep you happy, show you what that little boyfriend of yours can’t.
He watches as you walk in, your head is bowed to look at the little girl next to you. Rafe’s blue eyes jot down to see a smaller pair of blue eyes looking right back at him. It takes him a moment to actually realize you weren’t kidding, you have a daughter. The whole time he processes he can’t take his eyes off the little girl. Which seems to also be the case with her.
Violet has only ever really been around the same people her whole life, but she does well with strangers. She just doesn’t know what to make of the giant of a man standing in front of her. He cracks a weary smile at the toddler as she cowers behind your legs, somewhat scared of him. But like a hero you crouch down and soothe her. “It’s okay. This is my friend Rafe, can you say hi?” Your nose nuzzles her cheek making her giggle.
“Hi.” It’s small, her voice still growing along with her. WIthout a second thought Rafe bends down, sticking a hand out to the girl. “Hi. What’s your name?” She looks at you, seeking permission to answer his question. When she sees you nod her eyes go back to him. “Wioleth.” Your laugh catches his attention, he likes how it sounds. He liked it last night and hearing it directed at your daughter with love makes it better.
“Her name is Violet. She still has trouble with v and sometimes with the t.” The smile on your face lights up your face, crinkles forming in the corner of your eyes. “Like the flower?” Seeing your smile directed at him makes his own shine on his face. “Like the flower. She’s my little petal.” She sticks to you like glue when you get back to work, sparing a few glances at Rafe to see if he was still there.
You were in the middle of snipping some stems when you heard Violets laugh. Turning to the sound you see her next to Rafe, who is currently tickling her with the lily in his hand. Stunned from the sight, you stand there and watch. Even while he’s sitting down he towers over her, her neck must hurt from looking up. Another laugh erupts in the room but the culprit this time is his fingers tickling her side.
You know he’s whispering to her, his mouth is moving but barely any sound is coming out. It’s like the two of them forgot you were there, too engrossed in the other to care. What surprised you the most was when she threw her arms uo so he could pick her up. He did it in an instant like it was second nature to him. The second his eyes met you after setting Vi on his la you unfreeze. “She seems to like you.”
“Glad one of you does. She seems pretty cool.” He gives you a teasing smile, the tension in your shoulders drops. You don’t get why he’s upset, he has a girlfriend. But seeing how he was with Vi right now wished there wasn’t another girl named Rose and you didn’t make stupid rules for yourself.
The rest of the time went smoothly, in the middle the missing flowers were delivered so he got to choose some extras. Then he set up the tuck time and left, leaving you and Vi with a quick goodbye. After the truck got the flowers you tidied up the place, getting it ready for tomorrow’s opening. By the time you got home the two of you were beat, barely talking during dinner.
“How was it with you know who?” You snicker at Jo’s words. “Why are you saying it like he’s Voldemort?” She shrugs at you and takes another bite of food. “I don’t know, maybe he is. You were acting like he was this morning.” Here we go again, she already texted you while he was there. Is he still as hot in the daytime? Are you two flirting? Don’t do anything in front of my precious baby, she’s innocent. The text went on for a little while longer. It’s like she feeds off you ignoring her messages because she knows you’re annoyed.
“I just want to focus on me and my daughter, not on some random guy I just met. Plus Rafe has a girlfriend.” Vi’s head shoots up when she hears his name. “Ra?” Jo looks at her in bewilderment. “Looks like the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. What’s this girlfriend's name? Clearly she needs to keep him in line.” You fidget with your food, knowing that Jo clocked the jealousy in your voice. “Rose.”
June who has stayed quiet all dinner chokes on her iced tea, spilling it everywhere. Violet laughs thinking it’s a fun game and tries to imitate her with no success. “Sweetheart, did he say girlfriend or just Rose.” You give her a questioning look. “Just Rose.” In all of your years of knowing June you’ve never seen her laugh like that. She was practically off her chair and on the floor crying with laughter. “Wow I never thought I’d see the day when Jo was smarter than you.”
“Hey!”
“Sweetie, Rose is his step-mother. She stuck around after the dads death to help him take care of his little sister.” Little sister? He takes care of his little sister with Rose, who is his step-mom and not his girlfriend. “Oh.” Jo and June just give eachother a look and shake their heads.
For the rest of the night you just think about how he actually doesn’t have a girlfriend. The only thing stopping whatever it was between you two is well you. The whole point was to protect Vi but she seems to love him. Throughout her bath and bedtime routine she kept asking for him. Letting out a small “Ra?” or “Whew Ra?” not really getting to saying his full name. He seems to be good with her, but that doesn’t mean anything. You go to bed thinking about what the hell you are going to do.
The next morning goes the same as the other. You get up, start breakfast, get Vi up, eat breakfast, get ready, and go to the shop. Everything was running smoothly, the shop was open and all the flowers looked perfect. You were even able to plant some seed in the greenhouse that’s connected in the back.
Customers have been coming in all morning, buying bouquets and individual flowers. Everyone has been so nice, even talking to Violet as they shopped around. She was having a blast chatting with them and running around the store. Around twelve you decided it was time to get lunch and grab Vi. As you're locking the door she keeps tugging at your hand. “One second Vi. I just need to lock up okay.”
THe impatient toddler keeps pulling at her hand. “Momma wook.” She’s pointing down the street but the key is giving you trouble. You’re struggling with the lock when her hand slips from yours, she’s running down the street screaming. “Ra! Ra!” Sprinting after her you see what she was pointing to.
Rafe
She rams into his legs falling in the process just before you could stop her. Rafe is distracted by the sudden feeling of being hit in the leg. He looks down to see Violet on the floor and you running up to the two of them. “I’m so sorry.” You exclaim to him as you pick her up and check that she’s okay. The people behind him are waiting for him to unblock the doorway. He places a hand on your arm to move you both away from the way. “Ra!” She squeals at the man in front of you two.
“Looks like someone’s a dinosaur today.” He chuckles at the girl. “Hi Violet. Hi.” He says your name, the heat from his hand leaving as he retracts it. You greet him back, stepping a bit closer to him. “She’s actually trying to say your name. She kept asking for you after you left.” A smile forms on his lips, he feels proud that he made an impression on the young girl.
“She asked about me?” There’s something in him that can’t help but poke a bit. “I bet dad found that strange.” Satisfaction fills him when your face changes at the mention of dad. It was subtle but he could see it, see how it made you uncomfortable. “He’s not in the picture. Just us.” His face drops, he felt smug thinking he called you out for not telling him the truth.
Looking at the two of you he can’t see how anyone could do that. You seemed so nice and funny, Vi was just a baby. How could someone do that? “Shit sorry I didn’t know.” His face scrunches when he realizes he just swore in front of a kid. “Shith.” Vi repeats, bouncing in your arms.
Rafe gives you a guilty look. “I’m sorry. Didn’t think before talking.” You giggle and shake your head. “It’s okay. Jo and I swear a lot around her. But I swear she gives Vi too many ideas.” The breath he was holding when you mention Jo is released when you paired she was a girl. He really thought for a second that maybe he didn’t have a chance. Maybe he still doesn’t but it doesn’t hurt to try.
“Dang I need to get back. I didn’t get to lock the door, she was so excited to see you that she couldn’t wait for me to figure out the lock.” It’s nice to know that the girl in your arms wanted to see him. After he left he seriously thought he wouldn’t see you again. He doesn’t know when he got to be so sentimental but he wants to know you and have you like him. The same goes for Violet.
“The door was giving you trouble?” He walks along with you as you make your way back. “Yeah it was giving me a tough time to lock it. It wasn’t perfect before but now it seems impossible.” You demonstrate it for him, twisting the key only for nothing to happen. His hand wraps around yours, twisting toughly and successfully locking it. “I can fix it for you.”
“You don’t have to do that. It’s just jammed.” Vi squirms her way down from your arms to make her way to him. “Ra come.” She waves her hand at him. He kneels down and pulls the sunglasses up to look her in the eyes. “I’m here.” The interaction is strange to see. She has always been social but this is different. She actually really likes him.
He interacts with her like they have always known each other. As if they didn’t just meet yesterday. It’s confusing seeing it all play out. “I think she wants you to come to lunch with us. We were just about to leave.” The sun is kind of overtaking you as he looks up. “Is it Violet or mama that wants me to come?” He stands up and takes a hold of Vi’s hand. “I can do lunch. Then we can go get you a new lock and I’ll set it up.” You two just stare at each other for a second, not wanting to break first. “Okay, know any good places?”
“Come on, I can take you to the country club. They have a great chicken club.” As id on instinct he shifts Vi to the other side of him, blocking the two of you from the main road. A simple gesture that means a lot. “I don’t have a membership to one of those. Plus I don't even know how to get there.” The crosslight sign changes to stop as soon as you make it to the crossing. You’re fishing for your keys when Rafe’s hand stops you. “It’s okay I have a membership, they’ll let you in. I was going to drive anyway so you don’t have to worry about it.”
You look at him and then at Violet. “So you just always carry a carseat around?” There’s a blush that forms on his cheeks from the teasing. He looks down at the young girl and realizes he completely forgot about the fact she was so young. “Right, my bad. Umm we can go a little further down, there’s a restaurant there. The hardware shop is close to there.”
Vi seems content with just sticking by Rafe. When you got into the restaurant she sat directly beside him, sitting as close as possible. “Sorry I can take her.” He just picks up a crayon they gave her and started to color along with her. “It’s fine, I don't mind.” She forced him to color with her the whole time. She even had him help her with cutting her food.
It was so surreal seeing this all play out. He was so natural with her and their connection was effortless. It made you think back to the night in the bar. The conversation was so easy and nothing felt forced. Seems like you and Vi have that in common, both falling for his charm. “How old is she?
He’s rustling around with some locks finding the perfect one for you. You shake your head as he shows a different one. “Two, her birthday is in October.” Her ears perk up at your voice. “Birdday?” Rafe laughs and shows you a different lock. “That one.” Vi giggles as he tickles her neck when he passes by. She starts to chase after him and he runs off, turning up and down the isles. You chase after them making sure she isn’t getting hurt or god forbid stolen.
People are giving the three of you weird looks, jumping out of the way so as to not get trampled by a 6”2’ giant. You had to keep apologizing to people as you passed by them. Finally he gave up and let her catch him. Violet was laughing hysterically, throwing her arms up so he would pick her up.
He gives you a surprised expression, not knowing what he should do. You were just as confused as he was, you don’t know if you should let them get that close. Who knows who he really is and if he would just disappear the next day. Rafe picks her up when she starts to whine, holding her as he pays for the lock and some other tools.
“You didn’t have to pay. I could have done that.” The three of you are walking back now. He’s still holding Vi who now rested her head on his shoulder, rubbing her eyes. Pulling out your phone you can see it's a little past one. She most likely is waiting for her nap time. By the time you are trying to open up the door she’s out cold in his arms.
When it’s open you turn around to grab her from him. “I can lay her down, so she doesn’t wake up.” It makes sense so you show him your office and he lays her down on the couch. “I’m going to go start the lock.” He walks away and fiddles with the lock. It’s as if when Vi isn’t around there’s nothing for him to say. It was the same yesterday after you tried to say it couldn’t continue he was closed off.
Crap did he want it to continue?
You walk to the front door and see that he got the old lock out. “Hey.” Looking over his shoulder he can see you standing there. “Hi.” He goes back to put the new lock in. “What I was trying to say yesterday is that I need to focus on Vi and I. You’re new to our lives and I can’t take any risks. It’s not just me I have to look after.” The tension in his shoulders can be seen from even where you’re standing. “I get it. At first I thought it was because you regretted it. But I get it now, she’s more important.”
You stand there as he finishes up. When he’s done he packs everything up. “If it was just you, would you still feel the same?” That’s a great question, would you feel the same? Simple answer is no you wouldn’t. “No I wouldn’t.” His eyes meet yours in a hopeful way. “But it’s not just me.” It’s illogical to feel upset about this, realistically he knows why you can’t. “Well the lock is all set up. I should head out.”
“Rafe please.” He just packs everything up and goes to leave. “Rafe.” He looks over his shoulder. “Bye.” The way he says your name is like a dream. It was airy as if it hurt to even say. It did hurt, he felt regretted. You don’t even fully know him and you already shut him out. You may be new but even you knew to stay away from him. He spends the rest of the day thinking about you.
Yeah sure he isn’t the best. He’s just getting over his addiction and trying to keep his temper down. But at least he’s trying, he wants to be better yet all anyone can see is how damaged he is. It has never been an issue letting it go and ignoring people, he’s done it his whole life. This time he’s finding it harder to ignore the pressure in his chest.
Without really thinking her\ gets into his truck and is driving back to the shop. He doesn’t even know if you are still there but he has to try. As he’s pulling up he can see you and Violet exit the shop. He’s getting out of the car when you turn around and see him. “Rafe?”
“Okay I’m just going to say this and get it off of my chest. I meant it when I said I didn’t want to leave the other night. I was a dick about the flowers that day and I regret it.” He cringes when he remembers there’s a kid right next to you, she doesn’t copy the word so he’s in the clear. “I thought that yesterday we would pick up where we left off. Probably a stupid idea but I’ve never been known for being that smart. There’s just something about you and I can’t stop thinking about you. I get it you have Violet and you need to think about her. Just, just give me a chance. All I’m asking for is for you to get to know me.”
He’s waiting for your response when Vi walks closer to him and grabs his hand. “Okay. Under one condition.” “Anything.” He says fastly. “ We take this at my speed. I can’t have her getting attached to someone and have her get crushed if you decide this is too much.” He wants to be upset that you could think that. You hardly know him so he can’t, at least you are giving him a chance.
“We’ll take it as slow as you want. How about we go out this weekend? You can bring Violet along too, I don’t mind.” She jumps at hearing her name. “Out!” She shouts “See, even she’s excited.” You smile up at him. Maybe this isn’t such a bad idea, he seems nice and caring. “This weekend sounds great. I could probably get Jo to watch her”
He walks you over to your car, standing back as you get Vi into her carseat. “I never really thanked you for helping me with the flowers. Really saved me from having to deal with my annoying step-mom.” You laugh at him, cloning the door and making your way to the driver's side. “It’s no problem. I guess you’ll just have to make it up to me this weekend.” He smiles down at you. “I’ll make it special then.”
Before getting into your car you give him a kiss on the cheek, leaving him there to watch as your car drives away. The smile he has can’t leave his face, too happy that once again he got what he wanted. This time he promises to himself he won’t fuck it up.
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