#like thanks for fucking nothing i guess

[fitpacs]

,

[momentomori24]

Please stop supporting Project Eden’s Garden. The whole staff is toxic and problematic, especially considering the new doc that’s come out about their actions towards a fan and their friends. You’re better off not associating with it altogether.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Can we talk about how fcked up Charles can be sometimes? Can we talk about how Charles can sometimes be actually scary as a person? Like he can legit be nefarious sometimes, but those moments are not as talked about as Erik's warcrimes (aside from the holocaust visions from TAS)

girlfriend i promise we're all very aware about how wack charles xavier can be and i assure you his nefarious moments are talked plenty from what i run into. like outside of this inbox most times you breathe charles' name to someone they'll be prepared to start swinging

[sysig]

Is this small and pixely enough that it’s not a spoiler

[borgialucrezia]

i'll never get the antis who come into your gifsets of your favorite characters and ragingly add false low IQ takes/narratives in the tags like...why are you making yourself angry over scenarios you made up in your head instead of enjoying gifs of the stuff you like lmao

[loderlied]

sharing some thoughts about deactivating here because it’s been difficult pondering idk.

[boom33713]

projecting my aroace experience on my fav character is hilarious actually. not only because using them as a lens for my own experience is highly entertaining but also because it fits so fucking well im not even kidding.

[kizzington]

Not aiming this at anyone specifically, but I’m genuinely so disappointed & annoyed at the fact no one in my real life circles bothered to reach out to me to check up on me regarding the recent Liam Payne/One Direction news.

[ken-katayanagi]

It’s What’s Inside is a solid 4.5/5 for me because I actually didn’t play Cookie Run during it and I took out a piece of paper to write notes. - .5 for being mean to Brooke.

[seventh-district]

Are you sad? Are you miserable? Is your life falling apart? Is your body falling apart? Does your head feel like it’s full of cotton, or perhaps TV static? Does it feel like the world is crumbling around you? Is it getting harder to force yourself through the daily motions? Is happiness getting increasingly harder to find?

Why not consider making a large, hyperfixation-fueled impulse purchase?

They won’t tell you this, but all of the happiness and satisfaction you’re searching for, along with each of those little chemicals that make your brain feel good, are all hidden within your very next large, hyperfixation-fueled impulse purchase!

So why don’t you go on ahead and grab that credit card, throw caution to the wind, and chase that good feeling? You certainly won’t regret it. No one has ever regretted making a large, hyperfixation-fueled impulse purchase! Never!

[trueloveandyxo]

me and my sibling in the car today went back and forth like "thank you bad twin for creating world peace" "thank you bad twin for ending global warming" or whatever. like things like that. we did that for a solid 10 minutes before my dad came back from the hardware store. absolutely wild. nothing else happened. it was just. thank you bad twin for doing objectively good thing.

[thediktatortot]

Gotta love when your therapist of three appointments brings up the autism spectrum and why it might be something to be looked into 🤪

[blackvahana]

Thankyou for answering my question about mindscapes and mental spaces. A follow up question:

How would one go about creating a portal from your mindscape to the astral then? You mention ‘birthing’ it of sorts, would that be a lengthy process? If I don’t set up a portal, can I still make like a temporary one?

The last question is, people mention having homes and pocket spaces in the astral, is this the same as mental space but in the astral, how does one go about obtaining an owned space in the astral that they can alter and change like a mindscape.

Sorry for the lengthy ask, I appreciate your time 💙

No problem at all! Hope it helps, and I'll try to answer this best I can.

I think... it's important first and foremost to solidly understand the difference between the two, and what both feel like.

The issue with answering questions like these is that... well. Look at magic on this plane: One person's answer to "how do you curse" would be rotting froth sea water and whispered sea goddess curses, and another's would be to write their name on fire and burn it. One, both, or neither - more likely neither - is going to suit the person asking especially if say the person asking is a nature witch. Well, they could make it work, both saltwater and fire strangle nature, but... The ways to get things done naturally involve pushing your own self and elements to the cliff between you and the world at large, and another persons way of pushing themselves is probably not going to be yours - especially because elementally, energetically, we all have very different selves

That... Is amplified in the Astral. This is why I sort of... have a "dont teach people unless its in person and in a way I can possess and give visions to directly show" - part of why I made my realm lmfao. I can give you a basics rundown answer to your questions, but its not really... its not like giving baking steps where we both have flour and both have cups and both have ovens

the Basic answers are: yeah. First and foremost practice getting a solid grip on what is astral and what is mental. both exist in the same ALL/universe, like fire and oil, disparate but transmutable into one another if you know how to rearrange atomic structures and... many other things. or you could just set fire to the oil lmfao. Anyway.

Birthing the portal: When you grasp both astral and mental, it's important to understand the link. This can be done through existing in the astral and trying to manifest things, taking thought and idea and weaving it into reality. In the astral, you believing you can fly wont make you be able to like what happens in the mental, to birth wings out of yourself you need to stitch thought with substance. You need to give reality programming - which means you need to be able to grasp reality and walk the path between mental and real.

It's... yeah. hard to explain to someone if theyre not already used to portal work (maybe you are! Im just presuming a baseline level of understanding because i dont want to miss any important details). But the idea is... there is a point where the mental and astral touch. There is mental in the astral. The mental - referencing for a second how i talked about reality shifting and mindspaces and such - is very... accepting of programming. The key issue though is that if you programme "a door to the astral" in the mental without actually literally linking it to the astral, you'll end up with "a door to the astral" that takes you to a simulated astral reality. Thats why i say understanding what the astral feels like and the differences is key

The idea is... to birth a nothing. The astral compared to the mental is a lack of mental. Theres a phrase that Hermes impressed on me with great importance lmfao regarding the mental: "Do not assign features to it." This is essentially saying... just that, if you assign it personhood it will become a person. If you assign it reality it will become real. If you assign it a doorway itll become a door - and you will still be interacting with unreality, just now with a mask. But if you grasp both mental AND astral, and use their shared elements, you can birth a point in reality rather than the mind where... the mental gives way into externality

its. yeah. Its rough to explain. You basically want to create a place where the mental stops having a say in things, and you want to create that in the mental, which means you dont want to Create anything you want to more so make your mindspace a sighing body with you as the breath.

Is it a lengthy process? No, it can take place in an instant if you know what youre doing - Ill say when you know what youre doing because it genuinely is just a matter of practice and getting familiar with the two things. It can happen in an instant because mindspace is... extremely reactive, and mental creation can happen even backwards in time - you could have a portal to the outside thats built by your future self lmfao

I just. would recommend really to leave this kind of thing and just try more so to project or bilocate. The reason I have a portal in my mindspace is uh. it actually goes to the sky in mongolia, which it to say the gelatinous-crystalline window in between God and Creation, which is why the portal exists in the first place. Its way easier - and better for the brain to avoid becoming confused - if one just projects from real to real aka physical to astral - the portal is specifically uh. theres a psychological benefit to going from unreal to real wrt this portal specifically

Yes, you absolutely can make a temporary one! To be honest as much as this might sound counterintuitive, i think its actually both easier (that parts not counterintuitive) and more effective to make a temporary one. Itd be way easier to skirt the mentals tendency to take on the properties of the external (as in to stop it from making a pretend portal outwards) by making it temporary and purely for utility. The mental would probably react more "yes on it boss ill collapse and invert" if you arent trying to forge something mental.

Homes and pocket spaces... I personally - just so we're on the same page, you dont have to agree w this use of the word or use the words like this - i see pocket realms/spaces and realms proper differently. Not even based on size, but function. Effectively.... Theres more types of spacetime than atomic, realms are their own sort of... realities with their own spacetime, pocket realms/pocket spaces are... specifically sort of... uh. Realms are dresses, pocket realms are pockets on those dresses. Dens under trees, in that they tuck into spacetime thats tucked into spacetime

Its definitely possible to realm weave or pocket space weave. I.... im gonna be honest I wont recommend it at all before one's familiar with astral-mental spectrum things. Specifically if you cant tell with pretty high certainty when somethings mental youll probably end up weaving a mental realm which. is. devastating or can be. its devastating to find out your entire territory, people you know and love, and so on are all masks of the mental lmfao ie nonexistent. part of why i want to shoo people away from reality shifting before they have a huge grasp on the mental and the "reality" creation function.

Theres several ways to do it though. My realm is actually woven through... what im going to call gateworking, and chronomancy. Using reality itself as a system of gates, utilising my aspect of the fabric of spacetime to stitch a pattern on my own fabric.... insert one of my selves answering to Yog-Sothoth here, I Am That Which Is And Is Not. Knowledge/data/code-weaving and shit. this is to say that my own experience is. not. going to be applicable to everyone. Ive seen others weave tapestries, or plant seeds in the folds of reality, but at that point you need to know how to programme thread and seed.

I think seeds are... not necessarily the easiest method (realmweaving a stable realm beyond a mental flimsy movie set of a place is already not easy lmfao) but i find them actually the most intuitive type of magic to teach others - as in someone brought it up and im like "huh, yeah, thats good actually". But... then you need to know legitimisation and shit. The process (in my eyes) would be programming a seed, slipping it between the cracks of non-spacetime where theres a necessary gap and set of substances, and "watering" it - this is a good method because it allows the ability to grow something one cant more consciously guide and grow and allows magic to spread virulently into a self-sustaining realm...

But - you specifically asked how one may obtain one... I would really just suggest getting a realmweaver to make you one or... making a claim on someone else's territory lmfao. Obviously that last one is a human social faux pas at best, horrifically selfishly violent at worst, but look. we gore others for their territory all the time over there lmfao

Either way... im sure theres more beginner guides to making these things? But... I genuinely dont recommend beginners get in on this. I kinda do, Ive said before and Ill say it again that for certain species (fae especially, and I am part Void Fae so that checks out) its a third function like growing ones own body and conceiving/growing a child, and... people have a right to their own bodily functions without having to be super knowledgeable on shit

however... theres so much that can go wrong that its... it is possible to grow a realm/pocket reality without -

actually. hold a minute. I hate when people presume competence and skill levels over text. I need to actually clarify what Im talking about here because Im not presuming youre "just some lousy beginner haha im soooo much better than you" type shit I loathe that. So specifically: Im presuming you dont have access to libraries of information in the astral with records of realmweaving + what realms are + the differences between mental and astral, i presume you havent been brought through testing learning by spirits to show you the differences between mental and astral, and i presume you dont have the ability to talk with spirit teachers to have them guiding you along the process... Which is all absolutely possible to get, its just this is basically the level I would suggest being at before realmweaving, and uh. when youre at that level - hence why i presume you arent - generally you learn from those means rather than tumblr. Meant totally neutrally here, i still learn shit from tumblr (and hey i mean clearly im ON tumblr im typing on it right now, this isnt a bad thing)

The dangers specifically are just... Hermes' warnings were specifically about the Mental and oh my god did he impress that on me and boy do i get why. The astral? Worst thing you can go through is probably for the average person being hunted down and having your family slaughtered in front of you and then being killed and having to come back to your body and live with it. Worst thing on average for that same person mentally? Ohhhhh fucking boy. way worse. You could go through all that and have to cope with it not being real - or never find out it wasnt real, and then keep going through it, and then start becoming psychotic irt hallucinations, and then completely lose yourself, lose your ability to interact w any reality, etc. the Mental is..... If you lose your body, you still have your mind. If you lose your mind, you have nothing - and youre still forced to live through having nothing, because if you cant sever your connection to your reality because youre no longer able to tell what reality is... its fucked! Mental is extremely dangerous lmfao

Dont take this as discouragement. Chemicals in a lab can do horrible fucking things to you and fuck you up for life, but you can learn chemistry quite easily if you just. take the steps to do it lmfao. Same with this, skill here is just. learning to navigate risks. Also honestly if you do fuck around to find out you probably wont have anything hugely awful happen, its just... when you get stuck in the mental and cant tell the difference between simulated reality and the mental - which are, 100%, indistinguishably, identical because we perceive reality through the mental, the feeling of and experience of "real" is a mental function uh. anyway

[seventh-district]

not even gonna try to contain this vent post within the tags bc i can just feel that i'm gonna yap

for the first time in a very long time, i'm watching an old video of me, age 13, playing with my dog on the kitchen floor. and i can barely handle the envious sight of how absolutely free i was. like, i know i've rewatched this video at a few other points in time in the nearly 12 years since i recorded it, but i've never really watched the full thing, paying as much attention as possible to every single detail.

i initially dug it up the other night because it's one of the only videos i have of Sassy on my current phone, and i wanted to.. see her again. but while i was analyzing every frame of the 3min video trying to drag as much of her memory out of the past as i possibly could, it dawned on me in a way it never has before just how unbelievably free i was behaving.

i was on the floor. touching it, sitting on it, putting my hands down on it and then (to my current self's horror and disgust) putting them on my cheeks, touching my face. i sat my drink down on the floor next to me. i picked Sassy up over and over again and then touched my face and drink and then i picked her up again and actually put my mouth on the top of her head to give her a little kiss. i did all of it without a second thought. it obviously came so naturally to me. i was moving around, interacting with the world around me in such an unbelievably normal way that i barely even recognize myself. and i was doing everything so quickly, too. i had energy. i moved (what seems to me now as) recklessly (though to a normal person it is probably just. normally.) and i just touched anything and did anything and. there weren't any consequences. it was fine.

that was roughly 1.5 years before Sassy dropped dead with zero warning and zero explanation and i developed severe OCD.

my memory is too far gone for me to figure out if the two events were cause-and-effect, or simply happened to take place around the same time in my life. it's not like i kept any sort of detailed log of my developing symptoms so i don't know if i'll ever be sure.

regardless, all i can focus on is how nowadays i wouldn't be able to do any of that. nothing aside from my shoes can come into contact with the floor. and i cannot come into direct skin contact with my shoes. if i find myself in a situation where i have to sit on the floor, as soon as i can get up, i have to remove all clothes that touched it and put them in the dirty laundry, and wash my hands, and if i had to touch my phone after touching the floor, i have to disinfect it. i will under no circumstances touch my face after contacting the floor until my hands are washed. i cannot touch or pet or hold either of my pets without washing my hands and preferably removing whatever clothing they came into contact with.

they are not allowed in my room nor my bed. Sassy slept in my bed with me every night. i never put my mouth on their fur to give them a kiss. i gave Sassy head kisses without a thought. they are not allowed to lick me. i used to find another one of my past dog's 'kisses' on my hands to be very endearing and unproblematic. now if it happens i have to wash it off immediately. anything that gets touched between my hands contacting either pet and being washed, i have to disinfect it.

i mean it with my entire fucking heart and soul when i say that OCD is an insidious disorder. having lived with it for a decade now, i couldn't be more aware of this. but, therein lies the exact point i'm trying to make. in spite of knowing that it has wormed it's way into every single aspect of my life, brain, and personality, it's entire nature is defined by the fact that it will do so, and it'll do it in such a way that the disordered mindset becomes your new normal. it had managed to completely overwrite a lot of my pre-disorder memories of how i used to... operate in the world around me. it has entirely altered the way i do every. single. thing. to the point where i just can't even fathom how it used to be any different. if i didn't have videos like this one to serve as proof that things did used to be different, i wouldn't have any basis for what my "normal" ever even was. it robbed me of those memories entirely.

let's fish one example out of the thousands of different ones i've got siting around: i've spent years trying to figure out how i used to take a shower that didn't take me an entire hour. i have no video of something like that obviously, so it just feels like.. like when i try to envision how i used to bathe myself it literally just goes black in my brain. there's no memory or mental images left in there. i can't fathom it. i mush have just been walking around halfway clean. i don't know. i don't understand how anyone can take a "quick" shower and get out feeling clean. my brain just absolutely cannot grasp it because the OCD is all that's left. it snuck in and completely rewrote the code of who i am and how my brain functions and how i perceive the world and i am never going to get my old self back. no amount of medication or therapy can truly, fully undo the damage it's done to my mind and body.

i mean. i have learned to live with it, barely. i wouldn't really call what i do 'living' but i am. surviving. and some of my obsessions and compulsions have the tendency to fade in and out over time, so i've been able to CBT myself out of some of the most disabling ones. showers take 1 hour now instead of 1.5 to 2.

i can read normally again now, after that period of time around uhh 2018 i think where i could barely read since i had to count the letters of every single word i saw. that was a pretty miserable time and i eventually forced myself mostly out of it. but i still slip back into it when i'm exceptionally stressed, which makes written communication difficult. but it's not like you can just explain that to people and expect them to believe you. but the uh. idk what to call it. OCD cranked the pattern-seeking part of my brain up so far that the metaphorical knob broke off and so the uh. like. the ability for me to notice which words have what amount of letters is always there, i'm just good at overriding it now. that's what 'learning to live with OCD' is like for me. the tracks that it carves into my brain never go away, i just get better at overriding them. but certain stupid little rules never really leave you, like if i'm lengthening a word like turning 'no' into 'noooooo' or 'holy' into 'hooooly' then the new lengthened form of the word has to have a 'good' number of letters like 3 or 7 or whatever my brain deems fit.

i can sit small objects down now without compulsively checking that the surface i'm about to sit them on is clean. ...most of the time. that got really annoying but also embarrassing to be seen doing it. having to re-wipe the counter down every time i'd pick up my water bottle and put it back down. trying to do Anything in the kitchen was an absolute nightmare. and yeah it still takes me a long time to cook anything, and there's countless other compulsions that make me dread the kitchen, and yeah i still can't sit large objects down without thoroughly inspecting the surface below them, and. sigh. there's no making this one sound like it's much improved at all. cause it hasn't

at least the compulsion to re-live and commit to memory every possible detail of my dreams immediately upon waking has left me. that's one rare example of a compulsion that has totally left instead of just adapting to be less intrusive. it was so miserable laying there for ages every morning trying to force any shred of memory out of my dreams and then panicking when i oftentimes couldn't remember anything.

anyways. i could and would have to write a literal book to fit in even half of all the examples of every single compulsion i've ever had in the last 10 years. most of them are still with me. some of them are very.. evolved, but most of them are still with me in one form or another. there isn't a single aspect of the way that i interact with the world around me that isn't heavily influenced by my OCD.

i don't expect to ever get to be that 13y/o kid again. and even back then, i was far from neurotypical. mental things were already starting to spiral for me around 11 or so. but none of my other (numerous) illnesses hold a candle to the disabling effect that OCD had and has on me. it's one of the WHO's top 10 most debilitating illnesses in the world, physical health issues included. i think i heard it ranked at #7, ironically enough. that stat might not still be accurate but i can't help but constantly want to quote it because i think one of the most tortuous aspects of OCD is the inability of those who don't have it to truly grasp how much you're struggling. how bad it is. it's taken so unseriously by the majority of those who don't have it, that trying to get across to someone how much you're struggling feels like this constant uphill battle that you never asked to fight.

one of the most difficult things for me to live with is the knowledge that most people just aren't going to understand. or believe me. and feeling unseen while suffering through immense pain is just. it's maddening. and dealing with that exact issue of struggling so much, both in physical sorts of pain and with mental illnesses, and having everyone around me never take it seriously enough.. it has been such a prevalent part of my life for so long that it just. it's slowly driving me fucking insane lol. not to be dramatic. i know i've got a relatively easy life. but there is always gonna be this invisible, bleeding wound on my soul that gets torn open a little wider every time i have to look someone in the eye and try, exhaustedly, to explain the absolute dumpster fire shitshow that i have to live with in my brain 24/7, only to get some fuckass excuse of a response like 'haha yeah i know what you mean! i'm a little OCD too!' and they just like. like seeing things organized neatly and sometimes experience a passing worry that they left the stove on.

and i just wanna say that 'we are playing life on two very different difficulty levels and i don't think i'll ever be able to get that across to you' but no i have to be nice and downplay it and get along bc it's just not worth it. i'm so fucking tired. OCD is exhausting enough to live with, let alone trying to educate other people on it.

maybe one day ill post that stupid excuse of a poem i wrote regarding my frustration with that exact experience.

but like i said, i don't ever expect this to go away. medication only treats the symptoms and i can only force myself to suffer through so much CBT. this will be with me forever, in a significant capacity. i just hope that before i die, i'll get to know what it's like to have someone look me in the eye and understand. not necessarily from personal experience, but to at least know me well enough to be able to understand how serious i am when i say that OCD ruined my life.

but it might turn out that the only place i'll be able to find that level of understanding and acceptance, is when i look in the mirror.

that might just have to be enough.

[tacitusauxilium]

Hap hap hap mama daaaay

Thank you dear.

Honestly? It sucked yesterday. Didn’t get no flowers, card, and/or chocolate. Didn’t have breakfast in bed nor was dinner cooked. My MOM made us dinner. The little one slept for half an hour while I tried to nap and husband was playing Baulder’s Gate with his friends. Which pissed me off as a mom because why aren’t they with THEIR moms!?

I did not get no time to myself like I wanted and just focused on props for Momocon when the kid was asleep for bedtime cause can’t expect my husband to do shit for me but for himself. My mom took the kid to the park for half an hour AND bathed him! I didn’t have to tell her to do anything—she did it. And wished she told me what she wanted for Mother’s Day.

So I went to bed angry and pissed off and sad.

So, uh, yesterday was not the best day.