#like sometimes people say shitty things
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Ok one last thing… again Taylor never lets it show but if you don’t think that her safety is constantly under considerable threat and that she has a target on her back by certain groups that unfortunately is likely to become more pronounced in coming years and that this open derision is only the tip of the iceberg… well, you’re not paying attention.
And that is driving so much of what we’ve seen and will continue to see. Nothing exists in a vacuum. And what we are going to see is going to come right out of the playbook. (And not just directed at her; it’s going to be at all Hers.)
#waves makes waves about discourse#I’m sorry but i just cannot take any jokes about it seriously#nor can i abide by any of bad faith discourse about what people close to her are saying#like sometimes people say shitty things#but the larger picture informs why shitty things happen sometimes#AND IT WAS ALL TO DISTRACT AND GUESS WHAT IT FUCKING WORKED AND PEOPLE FELL FOR IT
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i really do think the desire to paint ten as unambiguously The Worst™️ when it comes to his relationship with martha is out of this desire to uncomplicate their relationship. to decouple them as friends and people who profoundly impacted each other’s lives. it’s just an easier narrative to swallow: that ten was Awful to her and then martha kicked him to the curb when she realized she was too good for him. easier, maybe, then dealing with the troubles of unrequited affection don’t have to be anyone’s fault, or that ten shut martha out in a lot of ways but let her in in others that he wouldn’t let any other companion near, or that they were still friends, they still wanted to see each other and be around each other, even though it was messy and sometimes hurt. you know?
#sometimes the doctor is shitty. this is not news we know this. this is part of the package. its what makes their relationships with their#companions so interesting so important.#like. how do i put this. i see posts sometimes about how ten was ‘leading martha on’ implying that he was taking advantage of her feelings#to keep her around. and. okay. so. putting aside how that’s a weird thing to say about anyone period.#its also just. from my viewing experience. not true?#the doctor is just sort of Like That. he’s too intense he’s too quick to grasp for emotional intimacy he’s too messy.#but he’s not leading her on. he really is just Like That.#like i feel by getting caught up in the fact that martha is hurt by being compared to rose and is hurt by the fact that the doctor can’t or#won’t return her feelings. and like. yeah. of course that hurts.#but in being caught up in that. i think what im saying is that it feels like people sometimes forget that he’s. not required to do that.#like just because she has feelings for him doesn’t mean he needs to get over himself and return them or else he’s using her. that’s. that’s#not how relationships work. people can have romantic feelings and still be friends and not have anything come of it and that’s not a#terrible outcome. thats just how friendships are sometimes.#thats the core of it to me. they’re friends. the way people post about ten & martha sometimes i wonder if everyone’s forgotten that they#are friends. that they last parted as friends. that martha doesn’t hate him or secretely resent him for how he treated her.#like. she’s got complicated feelings about the whole thing. but they didn’t stop being friends.#i tell you what: if the doctor was in trouble and called for help. you could be damn certain that martha jones would be one of the first#people to answer. that’s what i know.#doctor who#the doctor#tenth doctor#martha jones
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I am actually. I am so emotional over the Salazar parents and I need to share this to tumblr too.
A lot of stories where the MC is adopted I feel. Either dismiss the biological parents and the impact they have on the kid's life, or makes them evil and abusive, framing the loss of the bio parents as a good thing, or at least something we shouldn't think about just look at this new family.
But Genrex doesn't do that. From the start, Rex wanted to find out more about his parents - it's one of his primary character motivations, next to helping people. He loves them, even though he doesn't know them.
And the more he finds out about them, the more he realizes they loved him. Rylander is consumed by guilt but as Rex's first connection to his pre-Event life, the first thing he does is hug him. And when he tells Rex about his parents, the two things Rex knows is that 1) they were scientists, and 2) that when he was in danger, they were desperate enough to use their secret, experimental technology to save him. Technology built from their desire to help the world, to save countless lives and end countless suffering.
And then. When he finds out that they were dead, he doesn't stop caring. It'd be so easy, too, to tie it up there - his parents were good people, he got his answer about them, the end. But they don't. He doesn't. Because the show is saying once again that they are his parents. He still calls them mom and dad, even as the show makes it clear Holiday and Six adopted Rex as their son. Even as the show even parallels Six and One with Rex and Six (and I will talk about that more later if I don't forget, trust me), to really drive home how much they're family. Rex even says he considers the two of them family, and later that he considers Noah, Claire and Annie family.
He has new family, the show tells us, but his old family still matters to him. He's upset that he never has the chance to meet his parents, that everything he hears about them, about his time with them, is secondhand knowledge. It tells us clearly that not only does Rex still love them, but that he still wants to know them. And everything we find out about them reinforces the love that they had for each other.
We see Abuela and the family in Mexico, who connect him to his birth family and tell him that he was so loved back then, and still is now. We see their office in Abysus through Rex's eyes. The picture of him and his dad on his desk. The drawing Rex drew, proudly pinned to the wall.
We see it in the familiarity of the drawing. That that robot, that build, was what Rex created when he was lost and scared and alone - that it was made to keep him safe. That it first appeared in his mind in a place he felt safe.
The show says, tenderly and softly, that the love is still there. That the fact these people died was nothing but a tragedy, that their love is a big part of what made Rex who he is today - that every molecule in his body is filled with their final gift to him. That every time he cures someone, every time he uses a build, every time he makes a machine - we see the love that they had for him.
And the way he quietly absorbs his father's face. The way he freezes and whispers "Mamá?" when he finds out Zag-Rs has their mother's voice. The fact that she even has her voice as a testament to Caesar's love, too - that it was meant to bring comfort and safety. The way Rex yells at Caesar when he finds out they have a family property, a connection to their past, the way he fights to protect it.
And, none of this takes away still from Six and Holiday being Rex's family too. None of this removes the work either set of parents did for him, the love either set has - the show says that it was unfair that the Salazar parents were lost. That Six and Holiday are not replacements, that they still love him as parents but play different roles in his life. They can not, and have no desire to, replace the Salazars. But Rex needs parents, he needs protectors, and so they will do what they can for him - at first out of necessity, to keep this kid they barely know safe, but then out of love. They aren't replacing what was lost, but are doing their best to do what Rex's bio parents would do. And they do mess up in it - they mess up in ways Rex's bio parents might not have. Six is clearly bad with showing affection, affection we saw the Salazars give Rex so easily, and Holiday is overworked and stressed constantly, sometimes breaking under the pressure and snapping at Rex and Six, things we never saw the Salazars do.
It's just. It's about how sometimes things will not be the same. They will be different. That doesn't mean the people you lost aren't still with you.
#This is also. Why I dislike the 'Rex was secretly made for the nanite experiments the accident was a lie' theory so much#Bc it assigns malice where the show says over and over again there was only love.#That this was only ever a tragedy of good people whose good intentions were manipulated and twisted.#And I think giving them something shitty to have done in the past especially goes against the message of the show's perspective on adoption#The family we choose is not always stronger than the family we are born to. Sometimes they are equal in different ways.#Rex's bio parents are gone but not replaced. They have also shaped who he is#Six and Holiday are just picking up where they left off. Because they have to.#Also I don't like the theory that Rex's parents are EVOs somewhere bc I think it diminishes the impact of the tragedy too.#I get. Wanting them to have a happy ending. But I think it's important to realize that this is the closest they can have to a happy ending.#Some things cannot be replaced. Or fixed. Sometimes life takes what we love and what loves us. And that is okay.#It is okay to be upset at that and it is okay to never fully move on.#'What about Caesar?' I have. Another post's worth of thoughts about him.#But I think he's also a character who is defined more by Rex by their relation and defined by the story by his guilt#I think he is the closest thing Rex has to a shitty bio family member and he is shitty in plenty of ways#But he's also a parallel to Rex in a lot of ways. He fails where Rex succeeds bc of it.#generator rex#genrex#Anyways. Sorry for the big post.
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I don’t know what I want and I don’t know what I need but I’m glad I’ve got therapy tomorrow
#kinda… down#feeling sort of broken#and I appreciate all the help#but I feel ignored sometimes like my problems are boring#it’s be nice if someone wanted to help me fix them#it’s just my brain being fucked I know#because I sound so ungrateful and shitty and horrible#horrible enough that it’s like?? I don’t deserve nice things!!#but sometimes I say I’m sad and I get a pity like and told it’s ok#I say I feel lonely and unliked and people say ‘aw’#others might get a long discussion or an outpouring of ‘I like you!!’#and i think I’m just missing out on that because I can’t make connections deep enough#also I’m needy and confused and never really feel like I’m anything to anyone#and that people don’t actually like me#and that me constantly feeling like this makes them like me even less?#but I can’t help it :(#and I wish I knew how to not feel like that and be normal#I think I’m gonna take a little break because I’m in a really deep hole#i'm sorry im like this#and I’m a little bit afraid for myself#finnie shouts into the void
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To be clear. I hope that George is torn up about this. I hope he feels awful and learns from this. I hope he knows he fucked up and that he has to work to get his place back- that it will not be given but can be earned. I also hope that his friends do not abandon him and that his heart is in the right place to grow and change. Nobody deserves to do life alone.
#as my tok teacher says: i have faith that the sun will rise tomorrow because it always has#i have faith that things will be ok because they always have#people make mistakes and sometimes you have to feel like a shitty awful monster and then you have to move on
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Sometimes the way people talk about missing social cues is so over the top 😭 people will really say stuff like "how can someone live such a soulless joyless existence that they don't understand my joke" and "if you don't laugh at this are you even human" and "I can't imagine being such a miserable asshole that you think this is serious" and "how stupid do you have to be to fall for this 💀" and on and on like. I promise autism isn't a moral failing
#godsrambles#actuallyautistic#i see posts that say things like this almost word for word all the time on here#and on the one hand. i too think its funny when someone doesnt realize theyre being pranked#but sometimes people go from 'lol gottem' to 'lol only a bad person would fall for this'. somehow#and yeah it also happens in relation to pranking people who are genuinely shitty for legitimate reasons#but its like with calling shitty people ugly yknow? theyre not missing social cues Because theyre awful. theyre not ugly Because theyre mean#and yeah sometimes being gullible isnt related to being autistic. can also just be lack of knowledge in various areas#but that doesnt mean it isnt at the very least annoying to see these traits be linked to being a Bad Person lol#probably plays a small part in people being like 'lol ford is so full of himself for trusting bill' like.#how is being gullible and susceptible to manipulation the same as being conceited
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hate when i see a youtube video that's like 'analyzing why [thing] is bad!' and you watch the video and they just say nothing for twenty minutes
#random thoughts#watched a video on why a specific character was poor representation for survivors of assault#and it was such a nothing burger of a video#'this character is bad because children might see them and think their behavior is okay' okay?#i learned how to block out memories from finn adventure time but that doesn't mean memory suppression shouldn't be addressed in media#plus hazbin hotel. i'm talking about angel dust btw if that wasn't blaringly obvious. is an adult cartoon. for adults#adult cartoons shouldn't have to restrict their subject matter because kids could see it#and angel dust being a male queer SA victim using hypersexuality as a coping mechanism could be good!#and the fact he hits on other people despite it making them uncomfortable isn't exactly a problem a la his character?#it could be a control thing. i used to do something similar (pushing other people's boundaries and complaining when they pushed back)#because it made me feel some kind of control over my life#it could start off as a really shitty joke and then grow into 'oh god is that why he does that??'#but anyway their second main point was that the songs were bad? and that poison being an upbeat song makes it bad#like despite listing many other songs which are upbeat with heavy lyrics. but somehow poison is the exception because it's a cartoon?#like again that could be a character thing. angel dust using obfuscation as a coping mechanism to distract himself from his shitty life.#。・゚゚・the lyrics are upbeat to distract you from how dead i feel inside・゚゚・。#and their reading of the second song seemed really mean-spirited?#like as 'everyone has problems so you're not special because you're a whiny baby' rather than 'you're not as alone as you think you are'#and like if op wanted to just complain about a show they watched then yeah go off i do that all the time#but don't parade it as character analysis???#and they say 'oh reading it as a feelgood you're not alone message doesn't work because these characters' struggles are not equal'#but like. sometimes rape needs to feel like it's not some special trauma. it's not unique and you're not uniquely fucked up for it#two characters' traumas don't need to be directly comparable for them to bond!!!#and im not like. defending hazbin hotel btw. never seen it not going to see it no thanks#i'm just complaining about a mediocre youtube video that i'm going to forget about in a week#god i hate that brand of youtube video. where they just complain about things without going into depth about why they're bad#especially if their complaints are shallow and don't have to do with like. the actual structure of a character or story#like it's so easy to say 'this character is bad because theyre a predatory stereotype' but like. go into some depth at least#i think i hate these videos so much because they're fueled purely by hate. no love for the source material or even a desire to learn#or a love for storytelling even
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I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing
#yrtalk#young royals#personal#especically in the first two weeks of a new release everyone is feelings lots of intense emotions ranging from ecstatic to angry#everything in between is a part of it and i know i'm also feeling very strongly about it right now#i always try to stay levelheaded and rational and see things from an objective pov and be diplomatic about discourse#i don't want any of what i say drift off too much into meaningless hate instead of the constructive criticism it's supposed to be#but when you feel so strongly about something and sometimes you really just wanna say yeah i fucking hate it lol#but i always try to explain why and give understandable arguments and not just blindly hate on something#for example - I'm aware there are fans who have some problems with s2 and don't love the season whereas i do and it's my fave#and there is a difference between expressing some criticism and justified concerns which you can understand where it comes from#and those who are just like 'oh it's a horrible season. it was so shitty and we should get rid of it' which is dumb hate and just not true#and i can't support people like that and take them seriously#i can have my own issues with s3 from a subjective pov which can also include some justified criticism as well#but also still acknowledge it as a truly good piece of tv media and the quality is top notch#and that's why you have such high expectations and have critique because it is so good and sets such a high standard#with that being said i understand ppl not wanting to see any critic about it if they are riding the high of happy wilmon endgame#but that doesn't mean that i can't express my own opinions on my own blog and i will continue to do so#and maybe one day i will feel differently and accept or even like the ending who knows#but it doesn't have to happen. it's fine if it does but it's also fine if it doesn't
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The concept of queerbaiting annoys me. I was told that it refers to a work of fiction pretending to cater to a queer audience but then pulling back from it to avoid alienating homophobes, which is an incredibly specific thing. But a lot of people seem to think that it instead means "any time there's any gay subtex, metaphor, or ambiguity" or "whenever something from 1995-2012 was being a normal amount of homophobic for the era."
#I've secondhand seen the way Sherlock...was.#And yeah that's very pointedly cruel to the audience.#But not everything is that aware of its following to point by point mock them for half an hour.#And I think people forget that for a period there was a unique combination of awareness of gay people and homophobia bad#and a severe need to avoid being perceived as gay (and sometimes homophobic) at the same time#while it was ALSO very acceptable to treat the existence of gay people and homophobia or discomfort with both as a joke#so that whole wink wink nudge nudge dance was a huge thing in some of the 90s and earlier 2000s#and sometimes by doing that people accidentally made it seem even more fucking gay.#Or on purpose. People also forget that yeah gay people could exist as a joke but they couldn't be casual protags or w/e.#It wasn't really done like that.#I think what it's really proof of is that the 90s/early 2000s is long enough ago that people have become illiterate to the cultural cues.#When comedians complain 'you cant make jokes anymore' sometimes this is the exact thing they're referring to.#Gay people being on TV or in books isn't some funny joke you make anymore. Just being gay or seen as gay isn't the punchline it used to be.#People are shitty about it still but it's in a different way now. Being gay isn't as much the big embarrassment it used to be.#Gay tv shows and books are a whole market now. And stuff like Sherlock or supernatural were made right in the middle of that shift.#It's the only way you could position a strategy like this. I don't know if that cultural moment really exists anymore.#Audience backlash is also more massive and in real time.#Now instead of mockery at the idea of idk Dr house md being gay conservatives would see it as a 'culture war' thing.#And non conservatives are more vocal and more liable to criticize. TV shows are seen as keepers of culture in ways they weren't before.#I don't know how to describe it exactly. I'm not an expert and I know I'm missing some pieces or things I wanted to point out.#But yeah I just think people kind of. Forgot how people treated gayness as some kind of cootie disease you had to say#You didn't have really hard all the time. People are still sort of like that but idk the language changed.#A lot of talk about homophobia and queerness is very pseudo-academic now. The distancing happens with different signifiers.#But. Yeah.#☠️#I also think queerbaiting requires a specific kind of intent as a marketing strategy.#Instead of the more likely 'well we have an unintended gay following now so I guess we can throw in some fanservice#the network would literally never allow us to do anything with it even if we wanted to though.'
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Yes. Because Tommy and Billy are the pinnacle of reliable characters and not at all people who 1) aren't privy to the details of someone else's relationship and 2) aren't trying to get under Steve's skin.
Steve and Nancy were absolutely in a grey area after their argument in S2. The fact that there's wiggle room to infer cheating at all makes it inherently unclear whether or not the characters were broken up. At the very least, they weren't on the same page at all.
Hell, I'd say it's completely in character for Nancy to cheat in this moment because we've repeatedly seen how she's impulsive and doesn't really consider other people's feelings when they conflict with whatever goal she has in mind.
#can we stop saying nancy didn't cheat and admit that actually people just didn't care that it was cheating#because the show clearly wanted you to root for j@ncy?#like. yeah back in 2017 when S2 aired I also didn't care about the cheating because it was clear that nancy and jonathan were a better matc#but the fact remains that neither character actually said they broke up#or even that they THINK it was a real breakup#and even if we do want to say that their argument was for sure a breakup and they were both aware of it#nancy had been pining for another guy for the last year. and emotionally cheating is still not okay#sometimes nancy does shitty things and actually it's more interesting if the narrative acknowledges that#strangerthoughts
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am I wrong? genuinely, I'm asking. would it not come off extremely condescending?
#she blocked me after saying that it wouldn't be talking down to because POC are my peers and it's like...#that's not how talking down to someone works?#yes they ARE my peers. so are the white people I'm explicitly talking down to#they are my peers and thus i respect that they have a lot more experience and knowledge than i do about this topic#and i decide not to condescend to them about it or slap them on the wrist for saying something i think is in poor taste#like idk man#I'm trying to talk to people who might actually listen to me rather than people who have no reason to#is that so bad?#like i was literally talking to a mixed guy about this and he was like#yeah i do mostly agree with you in reality but it's hard to not bask in a little shaudenfreude when it happens#and i was like yeah i think that's whatever and you should feel however you feel but perhaps the basking should be kept private#like... idk we're all human we all have shitty emotional responses sometimes and need to vent sometimes.#sometimes you do say something off colour to your friends when youre pissed off and hurting#but i DON'T think we should be encouraging this behaviour publicly. because it emboldens people#you say your shitty things in private to your friends who get it or you keep them in your mind and then you get up and try to help people#regardless of if theyre shitheads or not you should be feeling compassion and you should be offering them your hand#THAT'S what i have to say to POC who have been venting like this.#what do i have to say to white people who are venting in this way? shut the fuck up and go do some work.#stop self victimising and celebrating racist violence against people you see as your enemy#grow up#there IS a difference between lateral violence and punching down and that difference matters in the discussion of how to stop it.#the system speaks
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FINALLY I DRAW SOMETHING!!!!!!!
some Joseph, both young (around 1980 i'd say, when he was traveling w Stan a few years before the portal incident) and old (~2017, now an art teacher at Westchester High). i like to think the first one is a picture Stan took of him while they were traveling and the second one is his staff photo at WH. the more things change the more they stay the same. i might give em backgrounds and foregrounds to look like that
he's had that jacket since the 70s. real leather will last you.
no glasses alts + the first sketch below
#[holding him in my hands like a tiny baby bird]#idk if hes hiding something on his neck. he might be. those neck covers just happened. probably less embarrassing than Ford's tattoos thoug#also im not super interested in “what if Stan had a romance partner who helped him run the shack” type Stan/oc buuuuuuuut#unfortunately i am not immune to old man yaoi and have been thinking “ok BUT what if Jojo helped Stan run the shack” during this rewatch#i think theyre not super open about their relationship so Dipper & Mabel have no idea until the manotaur ep when Mabel realizes “woah......#“Grunkle Stan do you have a crush on Grunkle Jojo???”#[Joseph so called Grunkle Jojo bc “we've known each other long enough hes basically family”]#anyway Mabel tries to “fix Stan up” to help him ask him out & Jojo is fully aware its happening and says nothing bc Funny#they do tell her and Dipper at the end of the day bc since she went through all that trouble trying to set em up they should know#plus kids these days tend to be a lot nicer about gay people sometimes#also good: Jojo giving Stan A Look every time he's shitty or sexist but otherwise not caring about any other morally dubious/bad thing#like Jojo can excuse regular tax fraud/stealing/scamming people but he draws the line at almost getting Waddles eaten by a dinosaur#hes the worlds most “not my circus not my monkeys” moral compass#hes said that before. and Dipper points out that it IS his circus bc he helps run the shack#to which he responds “hah. yeah :)” bc he helps do the fraud and scams <3#fuck i have to draw that as a comic or fake screenshots or something#anyway im not planning on focusing on a Mr's Mysteries AU but i may talk about it occasionally#ANYWAY ANYWAY i wanna talk about him i love talking about him send some asks let me talk about him <3#oc: Joseph van Dyke
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Okay this is the *actual* last comment, for real, but I just found out Spider is now smearing me as a convert and accusing me of being involved with drama I was not involved with because he mistakenly attributed my apologies for his public temper tantrum as being about something unrelated.
THIS IS A FALSE ACCUSATION and I do not appreciate having yet another bit of fake malicious intent falsely ascribed to my actions and* attributing a completely unrelated attack to me.
Also, it's very sad and disappointing whenever a Jew gets mad at a convert because something else is going on in the Jew's life and the convert happens to be in the splash zone and the Jew falls over backwards to smear the convert and invalidate her faith.
Just....the childish aggression is making me so, so sad and disappointed, from someone I used to think very highly of, who is now lying about me and publicly smearing me with false accusations based on a conflict he started because he misinterpreted something I said and I went out of my way to give him the benefit of the doubt when trying to clear up the mistake HE MADE that led him to decide bullying and attacking me for three fucking days was appropriate and okay and that I'm the bad guy for saying it's wildly unprofessional to behave like this in public to a former customer face.
Sorry, but facts, reality, linear time and the truth of what I actually said and did are on my side here, and I will not stand for being smeared and attacked and shat all over because I had the gall to try to kindly resolve his uncalled for, unjustified temper tantrum.
I am also not sorry that I left a side note in the tags that it was also unacceptable for HIM to drag his daughter into a stupid internet slapfight based on his own reading comprehension failure. Because it was and is unacceptable, and she needs to hear that message from someone.
End of story. Keep digging that hole as long as you like, Spider. It's not helping your case and is continuing to make you look progressively worse and more unreasonable, and the only person you have to blame is yourself.
youtube
*revised for clarity
#don't buy from nerdykeppie#all receipts are under this tag#if you're so offended because my reporting on the things you say and do makes you look bad maybe the problem is you#this whole thing was completely needless#and yet he is continuing to DARVO me because he's pissed that his usual method of smugly lashing out at people over their poor reading#comprehension doesn't work when it's him who failed to comprehend what I wrote in the first place#also REAL FUCKING INCHRESTING that he's lying about me being involved in the jewvestigation of him so he responds by......jewvestigating me#lol#lashon hara. maybe he should study it sometime.#and maybe he'll learn warning others about poor behavior from a business so they don't waste their money there is not lashon hara#but honestly I doubt it because he's never going to let go of his desperate complex about always being the smartest raddest dude in the roo#it looks pathetic and I think he realizes that or he wouldn't have had such a dramatic extended meltdown over the things *he* said to *me*#I also still find it funny that he has conveniently forgotten to address the whole “hey bud your timeline doesn't add up” part#and I think that's because he knows if he were to address the proof that he didn't remember it correctly he would be forced to admit that h#threw a massive shitfit at someone for no reason because his memory got mixed up#so so funny that he can't come up with an answer for that#almost like! he knows he fucked up bigtime and is scrambling to make himself the victim!#also funny that “worrying about someone who was dragged into a fight by a bully” got twisted into sneakily scheming to turn her against him#I'm not a scheming plotter I'm worried because the behavior you showed your child in public was wildly inappropriate TO HER.#it's sad! It's fucking sad and embarrassing and hypocritical and immature and SAD!#but the pretend me other people are attacking because they made shit up is none of my business#if he wants to keep writing fanfic about me he can go right ahead#because again#the more he talks the worse he looks#the more he digs this hole the deeper he gets mired in his own muck#and it's not my job to bend over backwards to keep him from experiencing the natural consequences of his actions.#I really should learn the lesson that people who are snide assholes in one situation are usually snide assholes across the board#really the worst part is knowing I defended him when he threw tantrums like this before#that's what I regret and feel guilty about: that I backed up his shitty behavior and gave it legitimacuy#that was wrong of me and I'm sorry for every time I jumped in as one of his flying monkeys
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I aspire to be a lover not a hater. but
#long heavy exasperated siiiiiggghhh#I love seeing ongoing discussions around my blorbos#except for the fact that people canNOT stop being little haters#people talk about your favorite stan twin without bashing the other one challenge (failed. SO many times failed)#I get it people have favorites#but I think everybody should just stop. stop trying to compare the shit they've been through and arguing who had it worse#please I beg of you#first of all we don't have the full story for either of them and we never will#second of all. while their external experiences are very much important and some were very damaging#it's ultimately INTERNAL conflict that drives them both#and guess what sometimes internally you can be doing shitty even if everything seems fine on the outside#hell brain chemicals can go haywire literally because of bad luck and no other fucking reason#'oh Ford got everything he wanted out of college despite going to BMU he has no right to complain'#'oh Stan had somewhere to live for those thirty years and people who liked him for some of them'#okay maybe those periods of their lives were more stable than their respective drifter years#doesn't mean everything was automatically peachy#hell we don't know that Stan didn't occasionally secure a better job/place to stay at some point between pines pawns and gravity falls#we don't know if some of the dimensions Ford visited were more peaceful and hospitable#I'm not necessarily saying either of these things are true I'm saying WE DON'T KNOW#ugh I was going somewhere with this and then I got lost in a rant#ultimately neither of them would have settled if given a chance because they were after something more#I do think there's potential in exploring the moments of good that happened in the bad times and the moments of bad that happened in the#good times and I think that's actually way more compelling than 'everything sucked all the time for X twin for Y years'#nope still haven't quite gotten back to my original point#which is STOP IT WITH THE OPPRESSION OLYMPICS. STOP STOP STOP STOP#okay rant over
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#one day I will get brave enough to set boundaries about the number of times people can promise to show up for me and then just *not*#one day i will be brave enough to say hey this hurts me actually#that you said you would do x/be with me for y/help me with y#and have not followed through#and i get it sometimes people forget things#sometimes real life gets in the way#irl sucks and the nature of being an adult means other things take priority#that's fine#and ig sometimes the things i am asking for are inconsequential in their eyes#they're small tiny things that to them don't mean much or they don't perceive them as that big of a deal#so like#yeah i guess im being whiny and childish by saying hey this tiny thing actually means a lot to me#i get it#but its hard to feel valued and important when its happening consistently#and i am used to just being#forgotten#im easily overlooked#easily ignored#and i never say anything because i am here also convincing myself I have no right to kick up a stink about these tiny things#that in the grand scheme of life are not that important#none of these things im asking for are life threatening so maybe I should just#stop being upset that im not getting them#but then also im like. it's not even about the thing. it's about the consistent promises#and then the consistent inability to meet those promises#because im not important enough to make that effort for ig#sigh#im just venting into the void apparently#1 week anniversary of me moving back into my shitty home situation with my parents and my mental health is in the toilet#can you tell lol#sorry for being sad on main again
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actually on a similar vein i hate how if people go 'um this kind of sounds like a symptom of a neurodivergency actually' to explain less than stellar behaviour people come out in droves to be all 'HOW DARE YOU SAY NEURODIVERGENT PEOPLE ARE [insert value judgement version of common symptoms (eg. lazy - executive dysfunction)]' and it's like?
for one, you're the one saying that symptom makes them 'bad'
and two. some of us do have that fucking symptom! it's part of the diagnostic criteria a lot of the time!!! it's the reason we empathized with that person you're vilifying in the first place and asked that you take a step back and ask yourself if you're truly being fair to them or just speaking from a place of hurt!
we aren't the ones saying autistic people are 'rude' because your maybe-autistic-but-unconfirmed boyfriend didn't respond to your social cues the right way. you're the one saying the only possible reason for that symptom is rudeness despite it possibly being something they either can't change or have never had appropriate guidance to change!
fuck you! :)))
#i am rude when i can't mask or convince myself to relax and unmask#i'm forgetful of people's boundaries and needs#i have to REMIND myself to give a shit about other people in the ways they want#i'm shitty to be around unless i'm actively ripping myself to pieces to make myself palatable and i'm tired!!!#so tired!!!#of people acting like saying that sometimes disabilities DO make people difficult to be around#(especially if neither of you understand that's whats happening)#is somehow the most ableist thing in the world#when I'M THE DIFFICULT ONE TO BE AROUND#because my BRAIN doesn't WORK THE SAME WAY AS YOURS
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