#like something is going to go down at the end :/// and then we're gonna have to hang on a whole week for it to be resolved just you wait
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Hi there, I'm SO HAPPY YOUR BACK! I was wondering if you could maybe write a Tom Holland Peter Parker x fem Stark reader based on this prompt?: You’re unconscious after a mission gone wrong, and Peter’s voice shakes as he desperately calls your name, when Tony comes. If you don't want to do it, its ok
stay
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w/c: 2,005
warnings: mentions of blood, angst (happy ending!)
a/n: hi lovely thank you sm! you guys know i love my angst so i felt very in my element with this one hehe, thanks for the patience while i get used to writing again! feel free to keep sending in your reqs and chatting, i love hearing from y'all and will answer asap ♡
"y/n? it's over, i got him. i’ll come find you, okay?"
you don't answer.
"y/n/n? can you hear me?"
there's only silence on peter's end of the headset. peter isn't worried, not at first. he figures maybe you just got disconnected.
"y/n?"
nothing.
now that peter hasn't heard from you on the third try, he is starting to worry. the two of you had gotten separated during your mission. the plan was for you to distract your opponent and peter to web him up, but you lost him somewhere along the way. it was hard to stick together in the dark, twisty tunnels. he'd thought it would be best to take care of your opponent himself and find you after.
tony is going to kill him if he let anything happen to you. it's okay, though. he can just use his suit to track your location.
"friday?"
"yes, peter?"
"take me to y/n."
peter swings through the tunnels to get to you faster. friday guides him, which he's grateful for because he doesn't have a great sense of navigation as is. it's even more difficult underground. peter lands where friday tells him to, but he doesn't see you.
"are you sure this is where she is? i think she might've lost connection... maybe her location didn't update."
"y/n's watch is online, peter."
peter notices something on the ground, its blinking light catching his attention. he picks it up. sure enough, it's your stark tech watch, but where are you?
"would you like me to check again?"
peter makes out a figure a few feet away. it isn't moving. he takes a few steps toward the figure, reaching for his mask.
"that's okay. thanks, friday."
he removes his mask to see better, brows knitting together. something doesn't feel right. peter's senses confirm it, the hairs on his arms standing up and eyes focusing harder in the darkness. in peter's head, he already knows it's you. in his heart, he hopes it isn't.
peter crouches down and puts a hand on the figure's shoulder, rolling them over to face him.
it's you.
your spandex suit has some rips in it, and dirt is coating your back. your mask is pulled up part of the way. peter takes it off, revealing blood dripping down your forehead, your eyes just barely open. tears roll down your cheeks. peter cups your face tenderly in his hands, eyes desperately searching for yours.
"oh my god, baby, what happened?"
"that guy."
your voice comes out weak. despite the blood and tears staining his gloved fingers and the tightening in his throat, peter does his best to stay calm.
"what guy? the one we were fighting?"
"yeah."
"he did this to you?"
you hum in response. peter props an arm behind your head for support.
"it's okay. everything's gonna be okay."
"but... it hurts."
"i know, baby. but you're gonna be okay. we're gonna get you home and..."
your eyes flutter closed.
"hey, hey, hey. look at me."
peter strokes your cheek, willing you to stay awake. you grunt.
"tell me where it hurts so i can take a look. can you do that for me, y/n? where does it hurt?"
"my head. on top."
peter carefully parts your hair, searching for the source of your bleeding. there's a damp patch of hair near the top of your head. he moves it aside and finds a gash. it's small, but fairly deep. he doesn't think he can handle this on his own; he needs to tell tony.
"i’m gonna call your dad, okay?"
you don't respond. your eyes are closed when peter looks for them.
"y/n? you have to stay awake."
you don't say or do anything to indicate that you hear him. tears prick peter's eyes, threatening to spill over. he doesn't know much about head injuries, but he knows this isn't good.
"please wake up, y/n/n."
peter grabs both your shoulders and shakes, hard enough that it should wake you. nothing. you seem to have slipped into some sort of an unconscious state.
your watch starts to beep with an incoming call from your dad. peter accepts it with a shaking hand.
"friday tells me your vitals are suspiciously low, little lady. what's going on?"
peter fights to keep his tears at bay. he cradles your head with one hand, placing his other on your heart. he needs to feel your heartbeat to remind himself you're still here.
"it's me, tony."
"kid? where's y/n?"
a quiet sob escapes him, tears finally falling. tony doesn't need to hear anything else.
"i’m on my way."
it doesn't take long for tony to get to you and peter. he comes whirring through the tunnels, retracting his iron man suit when he lands. you lie on the ground, your head in peter's lap. you'd woken up shortly after peter spoke to your dad, but you aren't really responsive. peter is cradling your head gently in both hands and whispering words of reassurance.
he's so focused on you that he doesn't even notice tony is there until he feels a hand on his shoulder.
"what happened, kid?"
tony kneels down next to peter.
"i... i don't know. the guy we were fighting... i didn't see, i think she hit her head."
"okay, okay. let me see the damage."
tony uses his watch to illuminate the dark area. there's dry blood all around the crown of your head, in your hair. it's worse than he expected. he doesn't let it show, though. he doesn't want to alarm you any more than you already are, or peter for that matter; he's a mess.
"i found this."
peter moves your hair to show your dad the wound on your head. tony shines the light on you to get a better look. concern flashes in his eyes briefly, but long enough for peter to see it.
"friday, call the med bay. tell them it's my daughter."
"yes, boss. it appears y/n may have a concussion. i've detected a large contusion."
you bring a hand up to your head, trying to feel the wound. peter coaxes your hand away with a don't touch, baby. you try to say something, but you can't. you're in too much pain. your dad and peter share a knowing look.
"we'll be there soon, fri. make sure they're ready for us. and call happy, tell him to pick us up asap."
"i’ll let them know right away, boss."
a bright light shines directly in your eyes, making you stir a bit in peter's lap. you whine and squeeze your eyes shut. fresh tears fall down your cheeks.
"it's okay, it's okay. it's just your old man."
you squint your eyes open.
"dad?"
"hey, y/n/n."
"what... what're you doing?"
"just gotta take a look at something. look up?"
you try to open your eyes again, but your eyelids feel heavy. tony holds one of your eyes open himself, then the other. he clicks his tongue.
"what's wrong? is she okay?" peter asks your dad.
"pupils are bigger than they should be. still reacting to light, though. that's good."
"what does it mean if her pupils are too big?"
"friday's right. she could have a mild concussion."
the light turns off, your body finally relaxing. peter's body stiffens.
"that's serious, isn't it?"
peter looks from tony to you, stroking your hair and cupping your cheek, then back up at tony. tony can see the fear in his eyes.
"it shouldn't be, the bleeding just gave us a scare. we'll know more when we get her home."
you grab at peter's knee. he places his hand over yours, thumb smoothing along the back of your hand. you look around the tunnel with blurry vision.
peter doesn't like the uncertainty of this. they don't even know the extent of your injuries, just that they might be serious. he knows you're going to be okay, that tony and the med bay team know what to do and you'll bounce back from this because you're you, but he's scared. you've never been hurt this badly before.
"happy's got our location. he'll be here as soon as he can," tony tells you, voice uncharacteristically soft. you blink your eyes in response. "how long is that gonna be?" peter asks.
"i’m not sure, kid."
hot, frustrated tears fill peter's eyes.
"we can't just wait around anymore. she's been like this for a while."
"trust me, pete. i don't like waiting either."
"then let's just bring her back ourselves."
tony gives peter a stern look.
"let's not."
"why not? it's faster if one of us takes her. i’ll swing her there right now."
peter is already scooping you into his arms, preparing to pick you up. you groan at the sudden movement. tony removes you from peter's arms and takes you into his own protectively.
"i said no. we're not flying her home, and we're definitely not swinging her. it isn't safe."
peter stays quiet, blinking back tears.
"you've gotta remember, y/n isn't like you. she doesn't have powers. for the stark's, it's just us out there."
he knows tony is right, of course he is. he forgets how vulnerable you actually are because you're always so strong. riding home with happy may take longer than peter wants it to, but it's safer for you. he needs to think about your best interest. putting other things first caused all of this in the first place.
if peter had found you earlier instead of finishing the fight, maybe he would have been able to get you help sooner. maybe you wouldn't be in this bad of a condition.
"i’m sorry, tony. i’m really, really sorry."
"no biggie, i get it. you're just looking out for her."
"no, that's the problem. i wasn't."
"what're you talking about?"
peter can't hold back his tears any longer.
"i wasn't there when y/n got hurt. it must've happened when we separated. when i found her, she... she was already like this."
"hey, kid. don't do that, don't blame yourself. you didn't know."
"i could've known if i paid more attention. i could've heard, or... or maybe she said something."
peter avoids tony's gaze, too ashamed to look at him, and too guilty to look at you.
"everyone gets caught up, pete. hell, you know i do. but you know what? you're here for y/n now, and we're taking care of her. that's what matters."
"you mean, you're not mad at me?"
tony surprises him by outstretching an arm and pulling him into a side hug. peter manages a small smile, wiping at his watery eyes.
"do i seem mad?"
"guess not. thanks."
tony pats him on the shoulder.
"time to go. happy'll be here any minute."
"okay, i’ll go ahead of you guys so you can see where you're going."
peter starts to collect your things while your dad helps you up. you're disoriented, head pounding, and you stumble a bit because you don't quite have your balance. tony is quick to catch you.
"easy, y/n/n. you're alright, yeah?"
"i want peter."
"he's right here, just leading the way. i’m gonna help you."
"no, i want peter."
peter's heart clenches. he looks to your dad for permission.
"alright, parker. i'll trade you. but be careful, she's precious cargo."
tony lets go of you, but he stays close just in case. he takes your things from peter. you fling yourself into peter's arms, hiding your face in the space between his neck and shoulder. peter hugs you to his chest. tony smiles at peter and nods in approval, making peter smile back.
"i got you," peter coos. "are you gonna need help walking, or you got it?"
"i dunno, i'm dizzy. carry me?"
"sure, baby."
peter picks you up bridal style, one arm secured under you and the other supporting your head. you loosely wrap your arms around his neck.
"can you stay with me when we get there?"
peter kisses the side of your head lightly.
"i’m not going anywhere."
tags (join my new taglist!)
@spidermans-gf @sacharinee @thollandsgirl2013 @pettypeety
#peter parker angst#peter parker fluff#peter parker fic#peter parker fanfiction#peter parker imagine#peter parker writing#peter parker x reader#peter parker x stark!reader#tom holland angst#tom holland fluff#tom holland x reader#tom holland x you#tom holland writing#tom holland fic#tom holland fanfiction#peter parker x you
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"Flustered" || Short-Fic
XO, Kitty - Min Ho Moon x Fem!Reader
Note from Nat: "Back to back Min Ho fics??? Didn't expect to get so much positive feedback. Thanks for going easy on ya girl, I'm still a bit rusty! Enjoy and make sure to wipe that drool off your face babe!"
Warning(s): Spoilers for "XO, Kitty" seasons 1 & 2, A little bit of Smut, Language, Sorta Proofread
As the fall semester came to an end, with everyone not wanting to part ways even for a just a month, Min Ho decides to invite the entire friend group for a winter getaway.
“Where’s Y/n?” Asked Dae which made everyone’s heads turn before the sound of snow crunching was heard.
You approached the group that was currently enjoying the hot tub, arms crossed to keep your robe shut. Min Ho suggested that the hot tub would be best way to relax after a day of travelling
“Hi! Sorry I’m late to the party,” you smiled whilst kicking off your slippers, then sliding your robe off your shoulders.
“Hot damn girl,” Q said, overcame with astonishment. "Drop the workout routine asap please," he joked as everyone's eyes lingered on your figure.
“Oh stop it,” you laughed and rolled your eyes. “This old thing isn’t worth the hype,” you insisted, but everyone would’ve begged to differ.
The navy blue two piece you were sporting hugged all the right places. Your ass and tits looked like they needed saving. The sight was definitely giving body tea.
Everyone watched as you made your descent into the tub and sat in between Kitty and Min Ho. Kitty had given you a small wave whereas Min Ho could barely make eye contact. Various conversations continued but Min Ho remained in an unlike-him-silence.
He wondered how he had not noticed how hot you looked until now. Not saying that looks are everything, but Min Ho felt stuck on how he never gave you a second glance.
"-Right Min Ho?" Dae asks, turning to his best friend who was clearly zoning out.
"Sorry what?" Min Ho replied, snapping out of his trance.
"We're gonna be able to go skiing first thing tomorrow, right?" Dae reiterated, a slight tiredness in his voice due to Min Ho's lack of contribution to the conversation.
"Of course," Min Ho nodded before his gaze back on you, who was too busy chatting with Yuri and Kitty to realizing anything else.
"Woah okay, this is new," Q teased, as his eyes followed Min Ho's. "The bikini has got your eyes lurkin'" he says, making Jin snicker at the observation.
"What are you guys talking about?" you ask with an unaware smile on your lips, Min Ho's eyes instantly looking down.
"Min Ho here seems to have-" Q began.
"Shut it," Min Ho tsked before moving to leave the hot tub.
"Hey, we were just joking," Jin called out as Min Ho shuffled back into the house.
"What was that about?" Yuri questioned, all conversations now put on pause.
"Is Min Ho okay?" Kitty asked, looking to the other boys occupying the hot tub.
"He's just a little flustered," Dae replied, the feeling of worry instantly overcame you.
"Did I do something?" you say wide-eyed but to no response. "I'll go check on him," you say before making your way out of the tub and walking towards the house. "Min Ho?" your voice echoed throughout the home.
You noticed a light coming from inside the kitchen and chose to investigate. There stood Min Ho, chugging a bottle of water with his slim yet toned physique being illuminated by the refrigerator light. He began to cough up said water after realizing your presence.
"Bloody hell, you scared me," he coughed, covering his face with the inside of his elbow. "What is it Y/n?" he asks while shutting the fridge door.
"What's with you?" you quizzed, "Ever since I joined you guys outside, you've been quiet and when I tried to converse with you-you run back inside!" you add with a hint of frustration in your voice.
"It's not my fault-"
"-So it's mine? What did I do wrong?" you cut off, urgently wanting an answer as to why your friend was avoiding you.
"Y/n, it's because y-you literally look like t-that!" Min Ho exclaimed as if it were common knowledge. "How else is a guy supposed to act when you decide walk around wearing something like that?" he questioned.
"Is what I have on not okay? Was there something in my hair?" you blabbered in response, instantly being overcame with the self-conscious feeling.
"It's fact that when I saw you earlier, I wish you didn't have anything on" Min Ho muttered in an almost whisper like volume.
The realization finally hit you, Min Ho had been eyeing you since you stepped into the hot tub. You face flushed a bright red, clearly flattered by the words that just came out of his mouth.
"So what you're saying is-"
"What I'm saying is that you look almost too good," Min Ho said, his voice deep and eyes darkened like a lion about to pounce on his next prey.
The small distance between the two of you shut in almost an instant, his hand cupped the side of your face gently. You could've sworn that the beat of your heart could be heard from miles away.
Your lack of response gave Min Ho time to lift you up and place you on the kitchen counter. Accidentally, you let out a small whimper at the feeling of the cold tile touching your skin. Min Ho felt as if he could've finished off that noise alone.
Standing between your legs, Min Ho's hands traveled all the way back down to your ass. You watched his eyes really take in your body, as if he could drink you up like a glass of water.
"Tell me to stop, and I will" Min Ho whispered as he gave your plump skin a squeeze.
Leaning in with your lips close to his ear, finally you replied, "I don't think I want you to stop".
Min Ho took this as his green light and you felt as his hands unclasped your bikini top. Grabbing the piece of clothing, he tossed away fand his eyes settled on your breast.
Biting his lip, Min Ho took one of each into his hands. "Beautiful. You are so beautiful Y/n," he said with is his accent thick, almost like he was about to melt at the sight of you.
You gasped at the feeling of his breath on your tits, causing a domino effect of butterflies and goosebumps to cover you. Min Ho chuckled at this, rubbing your nipples with his thumb in a circular motion.
Eyes closed; you threw your head back at the sensation before feeling something foreign come in contact with your breast. Min Ho's tongue began exploring your chest. It was as if he was trying to paint a picture.
His grasp on your tits became slightly more secure as he was egged on by your moans. He was marking his territory all over you with bright red hickeys.
Your half assed attempt to stifle your moans was with the palm of your hand. Min Ho however loved how loud you were getting for him and yanked your hand away from your face.
"I want to hear you," he insisted, pulling his lips away from your chest for a mere moment. "I want to hear you all night," he smirked, leaning in for a kiss.
"Uh guys?" a voiced that belonged to Yuri called out. "Is everything alright?" she asked, her voice trailing off into the hallway probably in search of you both.
Min Ho looked down with a smile on his face before getting your swim top from the ground. You quickly put it back on then pulled your hair to the front to cover the marks Min Ho left behind.
"W-we're here Yuri!" you replied hopping off the counter and walking out of the kitchen with Min Ho right behind you.
As Yuri came walking back towards you guys, her head tilted to the side in confusion, "What were you guys doing over there in the dark?"
"Just got some water," Min Ho replied, which seemingly convinced Yuri enough for her to walk back outside. "I'm not done with you yet," he whispered in your ear, giving your ass a slap.
JAN 2025
#xo kitty#minho oneshot#minho fanfic#minho moon#minho xo kitty x reader#minho moon smut#minho moon x reader#tatbilb#to all the boys i've loved before#min ho moon#min ho x reader
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ROs reaction to MC dressing slutty for the first time? Doesn't matter if they're going out or just in the privacy of their room 👀😚
I only have two done so far, for some reason my mind really ran with it. (I'll finish the others eventually, but Cam/Ardents are down below)
❤️ Cam - Oh you know he's down bad. (When isn't he?)
"Wow," he says, his eyes so large as he takes you in. He should be wondering why the change, not that he cares, but his curiosity can get the better of him. But Cam's brain, for the most part, is playing catch-up. Like a video stuck on buffering.
He flicks his tongue across his lips, the glint of his piercing catching in the light, and shakes his head. "I don't know what I did to deserve this."
What you think he means to say as a compliment - is actually Cam cursing his luck.
"Are you going somewhere?" he asks as his hands brush over the clutter of your dresser.
"Not tonight. I just wanted to have something to wear for when I go out with Kara and Isaac."
He doesn't say much, but a brief nod is enough to let you know he heard. His lips jutted out into a pout. "Wow, didn't even offer to take me. I feel replaced." You know he's joking, but the slightest crease between his brow almost says otherwise.
"Come on, Cam. You're stuck with me, the faster you accept it the better." You tease, but he doesn't smile. Instead, he walks closer, his hand brushing along your shoulder. His fingers linger for a moment, brushing against your skin as if it's accidental - just enough to make you feel the heat in his touch.
You think it's just a speck of fuzz he's brushing off, but you're wrong. He wants to touch you - just for a moment.
"I wouldn't have it any other way, Red. I've always been yours-" Cam's eyes widen comically large, and his voice trails off. You gasp, your eyes going wide in disbelief. Did he just -?
"Cam!" you exclaim, your heart skipping a beat.
"Uh -" He stumbles over his words, clearly realizing what just slipped out. "I've always been yours to fuck -"
Another loud gasp falls from your lips, eyes wide. Cam panics, his face turning bright red as he tries to save himself. "To fuck with! You know, tease… annoy the hell out of!"
He punches you lightly on the shoulder in his awkwardness - but a bit too hard. "Ow!" you cry out, wincing from the force.
Cam's face flushes even more with embarrassment as he stumbles back. "Shit, sorry," he mutters immediately trying to shift the energy, clearly wishing the ground would swallow him whole.
You blink, your jaw-dropping as the realization hits. "Oh, that’s what you meant," you say, half amused, half incredulous. A small, tiny part of you, one you’re going to ignore for now, feels a little disappointed.
Cam quickly turns toward the door, eager to escape the awkwardness of the situation. Before he leaves, he pauses and glances back at you, his gaze lingering on you for a beat longer than it should.
"Hey, you look hot as hell, by the way. Better take me with you when you wear that."
"Why? Gonna be lonely by yourself?"
Cam shrugs, his voice trailing off as he mutters under his breath, his lips slightly pursed, biting back the awkwardness. "Yeah… and so I can kick the first person's ass who tries to lay a finger on you."
🖤 Ardent - You could feel Ardent's eyes on you before you even turned around. And once you did, you weren't disappointed. You don't always get to see a flush of color in his face - it's fleeting, but damn, does it look good.
He was drinking you in, watching as you finished prepping yourself in the mirror. It was a sight to see, he always said so. Even when you two weren't getting along. Ardent never held back how attractive he thought you were.
"Watch yourself, old man. I would hate for you to get too heated and end up spending the night home alone," you tease, cocking your head with a smug grin, watching as he rolls his eyes.
"Stop pretending like you could even keep up. Or do I need to remind you -"
"Oh, would you look at that we're going to be late." you cut him off, not bothering to look at the clock, but enjoying how easy it is to get under his skin.
You tap a finger to the tip of his nose, letting him think he has the upper hand for just a moment. But before he can pull you closer, you step away with a playful smile. His game of cat and mouse has only just begun, and you're not ready to let him win.
As soon as you walk into the restaurant, the eyes aren't just on you - they're on both of you. And knowing Ardent he's always shooting daggers with his eyes at the attention. He admires the way you look, but you know that jealousy starts to rise in him. One patron is so taken with your outfit that they gawk at you the entire time you're ordering. Ardent leans in close, blocking their view with his body.
"Can you fucking not?" he hisses, his fingers intertwining with yours, a warning glare directed at the stranger.
Ardent's tense, his body like a coiled spring and ready to snap. A combination of you looking too good, and the eyes staring at him. "Come with me," he says, voice rough as he stands and offers you a hand.
"Wh - where to?" You raise a brow, already mourning the foot you'll not get to eat.
"Just follow me," he growls.
You smirk and fall into step behind him, not asking questions. He's not led you astray before, and you doubt he'll start now.
But maybe you should've been more cautious, at least you think, as he pulls you into the coat closet. Without warning, he presses you against the wall and slams his lips against yours, biting your lip in a way that drives you crazy.
"Here, really?" You gasp, as his fingers press into your sides, a comforting weight behind his grip.
"You know I'm yours, right?" Ardent mutters against your skin, his voice dark and gaze heated.
You blink, confused by the softer tone. "Yeah," you whisper, not because you're worried you'll get caught, but because of how his eyes are burning into you. Like you're the most important person in the world.
"And… " he trails off, raising his hand to rest against your neck as he brushes over the pulse there.
"What's the matter?" You taunt, your breath hitching slightly. "Cat got your tongue?"
Ardent's gaze flickers, then hardens, as his fingers tighten slightly on your neck, enough to make you shiver but not as rough as you like him to be. "You're mine," he growls.
Without warning, his other hand grabs your wrist, pinning your arm above your head. His chest pressing against yours. His lips trail down your neck, and he bites down, sucking hard. A groan rumbles from deep in his chest, making your pulse quicken in response.
"So," you tease, your voice breathless as you glance at him, a smirk tugging the corners of your lips. "You like my outfit, then?"
Ardent pulls away just long enough to look you in the eyes, those brown eyes filled with hunger. He grins, the scar on his lip somehow making him look more handsome. "Let's find out when it's on the ground."
💙 G -
💚 Kara -
💛 M -
💜 Isaac -
#love and leases#loveandleases#cam#ardent#cams was originally much more possessive had to tone him down a bit
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hanahaki au. but the disease/curse is built so that if its strong enough it'll like, give symptoms to whoever is the cause of the thing in the first place.
jason has hanahaki. his hanahaki is caused by his self hate, and jealousy. he's deep deep down envious of dick. he wants to be loved so, so badly. he wants to have a family. and yet he was betrayed. the bats dont like or trust him. he hates himself so so much.
and the hanahaki seizes him then. making him cough up blue flowers (im unsure which yet, this is just like base idea)
its so strong that *dick* coughs up flowers - marigolds. and he's like. wtf. he contacts and talks to raven abt it who tells him the curse isn't within him - whoever that flower represents is the one dying right now. and dick being dick finds out its jason and tries to save him. he tries to like. hang out with jason more. he tries to be there for him. and jason is aggresive and annoyed and finally ends up coughing up bloody flowers and dicks like please, jay. you know i love you. and jasons like. no, you don't. not in the way i need you to.
what jason means; you don't love who i am now, you love the dead kid i was. you don't trust me now. you wish i was still dead and that i'd never come back to life.
what dick *Thinks* jason means: i'm in love with you, but i know you see me as only a brother and that you can't reciprocate.
and dick thinks to himself "oh god. jasons in love with me." and decides then and there, that he's gonna beat the curse into the ground with the affection that jason needs, because the curse will "wilt" away if it's tricked into thinking the love is returned. he's gonna have to act like an interested lover, he thinks, or else jason will die.
he starts out slowly. initiating more body contact. he has to be slow or else jason will realise whats going on and then he might die quicker. it takes him weeks but jasons drunk and they're together drinking and dick kisses him, pretending to be drunk (he's tipsy but nowhere near as drunk as jason is) and jasons like ? dickie? what're you...doing? we- you shouldn't do this, we shouldn't- we're siblings- and dicks like shh sh it's okay jaybird, i got you it's okay
they kiss but it turns into making out and dick *loathes* that he can just do that while jason is all blushing and kinda innocent/confused, that he can do this to his *Brother* - and jasons like you cant be serious, you want to- to have sex? with *me*? and dicks like well, if you want to. we can also not. and jasons like why would you want to do that with me. we're siblings. and dicks like "you're a crimelord, jason" and jasons like yeah but also have you seen me? im more scar tissue than flesh. i have a pussy, im big and hairy and-
and dick hasn't looked at jasons body naked like that. he hasn't studied him. he couldn't bring himself to. and jasons still like. going on about how he doesn't understand how anyone, much less golden boy dick grayson, could look at him and see something attractive. and dick feels so, so guilty abt doing this but he can't stop, he has to keep going to save jason's life.
in the smut scene it's like... dick is trying to tell jason he's gorgeous and what not bcs it doesnt sound like jason has a lot of confidence, which is a surprise to him, and instead of letting himself think too much about it, he.. hotdogs? him is that the term, and jasons just flushed and pliant and needy and dicks like... i got condoms and lube... if you want to? and jason says ok. but uh. i dont know what im doing.. im..ive never done this. before. so, uh. yeah. and dick screams inside himself at the fact he's taking his little brother's virginity but outside just nods and assures jason its okay, they're safe here this is okay-
i havent decided yet if this is purposeful or not but the condom is broken. and jason ends up getting knocked up. and dick is so confused bcs the curse should be done but it's *not*-
and he realises...
he may... not have any idea about who jason is. because red hood, the man he thought he knew, is a dramatic, extremely talented fighter & assassin who is cunning and a masterplanner, self assured and a hardass.
but the drunk jason was just a mess of self-hate and maybe- maybe the curse isn't because he's in love with dick, but because he's in love with what dick *has*, because jason hates himself and dick-
dick just fucked his little brother and he may or may not have fucked their entire relationship up.
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𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫
A/N: Just a lil piece I wrote AGES ago and I figured because it's getting close to the end of winter I'd post it :D
"No, no, I'm sure that Alyn was staying anyway. Anna definitely is, but I'm sure Alyn was too-"
"Students, may I have your attention please?"
James sat up quickly as Professor Weasley's voice rung through the Great Hall. He, Poppy, Alvin, Tori and Theo were digging into breakfast quickly so they could have some time in the snow before classes started.
"Fortunately, Headmaster Black has granted me permission to make this announcement." Professor Weasley continued. "For fear of pupils being unable to concentrate in lesson due to the cold weather, all classes will be postponed for all students for these last two days before the Christmas break. Do be careful out there, it is rather icy and we wouldn't want any students going home with broken bones."
The entire Hall erupted in a loud cheer. Tori whooped, punching James' shoulder.
"Snow day!" Poppy cheered, and Tori kissed her cheek.
"As usual, the quidditch pitch is open despite games being cancelled, if students so wish they may indulge in snow activities. However I must ask that you all please do use your wits and do not perform any stunts that I would class as dangerous."
"Alvin! Theo!" Matty rushed towards the Hufflepuff table looking flushed and excited. "Mum just gave me permission to stay in Hogwarts for Christmas break!"
"Yes!" James gave an excited air punch. "That's almost all of us, minus Cassie, Damien, ermm, Val, I think? Oscar's staying, I have no clue about Freddie, I think we're also missing a confirmed answer from Luci and Alyn. All we have to do is convince a few more adults and then we'll have the BEST Hogwarts Christmas ever!"
"Cassie's staying here." Alvin said quietly as Matty sat beside him. "Trouble at home." James gave Alvin's shoulder a squeeze to try and comfort him.
"Anyone got any news on Freddie?" Tori asked.
"His dad still refused to let him stay, but Freddie said he wouldn't get on that train home if his life depended on it." Jo said as she joined the conversation, sitting herself down. "I do hope he isn't punished for it. You know what his dad's like."
The rest of the group filed in. Val was grinning when she sat down, and she placed a sheet of parchment on the table.
"Professor Hecat herself wrote my parents a letter explaining why I have to stay. I have no clue what the letter says, but Hecat must've been persuasive because my mother let me stay in Hogwarts!"
Everyone cheered, and Matty hugged Val tight.
"Damien! Any news?" Luci asked with a smile.
"I'm allowed to stay" Damien said with a slight flush, though he didn't elaborate.
"Oh good! I had hoped so after-" Ellie cut off as Damien shot her a subtle death stare.
"What about Roan?" Damien asked quickly.
Roan raised a hand. "Easier for me to stay here, anyway"
"Gah, where the heck is Alyn?"
Jo replied, "I'm sure she woke up early, she wasn't in the dorm this morning"
"Alyn said she was gonna miss breakfast. Had something to take care of in the library. But I'm pretty sure she's staying" Luci furrowed her eyebrows.
Val nudged her, "d'ya think she's with-"
Luci quickly shushed her.
"I'm assuming Alex is staying if Alvin is" Val said casually. Cassie immediately perked up, sitting up a bit straighter. "What about the other set of twins?"
"Oscar's still checking things off his apology list. He's trying to make up for the damage he caused in fifth year" Cal explained, "Kiel is staying though. Him and Alvin are practicing for Quidditch"
"In this weather?" Jo furrowed her eyebrows. "I do hope they don't catch a flu."
"They'll be okay" James assured her.
"Jamie, where's Ren?" Cassie asked suddenly. Florence raised a hand from his seat at the end of the table. His nose was buried in a book as always, and he had a dark blue shawl wrapped around him, his pale nose pink from the cold.
"Before you ask, yes I'm staying here" Florence said sounding bored. "And yes, I've heard every word of your conversation. Reading doesn't make me deaf."
James grinned, moving to sit next to Ren. He threw his arm around his shoulder, and Ren shrugged him off pretended to ignore him, but everyone was certain the flush on his face was no longer from the cold.
"Is that everyone? Me, Ren, Cassie, the twins, the other twins, Poppy, Tori, Ellie, Luci, Val, Ale, Roan, Cal, Matty, Freddie, the triplets, Damien-"
James paused, eyes widening. "Damien? Is Sebastian staying?"
Damien flushed. "I... I did manage to convince him. I think he is."
James grinned knowingly. "I think that's all of us! Now, let's head outside because I've been itching to get my fingers on that frozen good-ness all morning"
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line seven - cold shoulder m.list
atsumu sits in the station's break room, legs crossed on another chair as he sips on an espresso. the spike of caffeine is the only thing keeping him awake as he waits patiently for sakusa to get there. ever since his discussion with you, he's wondered what happened to the spark that sakusa seemed to carry. the way he joked with you, talked as if he knew your coffee order and how you made the bed.
sakusa sat across from him at the dinner, rather than beside him. he sat next to you, knees touching, hands brushing. and atsumu found himself watching the two of you around work the next day, both acting like you didn't know each other. so, all atsumu can do is wait patiently for sakusa to come and give him the answers he desperately needs and desires.
he's tried messaging him relentlessly about the situation. 'why was she upset?' 'why didn't you make her happier?' 'what did you do?' atsumu always knew that sakusa wasn't good with getting close to someone. he pulls back and isolates himself so that he can't be hurt. but in the end, atsumu can always tell, he's hurt nonetheless.
"what are you still doing here?" atsumu is pulled from his thoughts when he looks up to see sakusa standing in the doorway, hand holding a decorated mug.
he gets up from the chair, tossing his empty cup into the nearby trash can. walking over to sakusa, he peeks out the door and immediately gets to talking, "waiting for you! what happened with y/n? you haven't been answering any of my messages."
"i haven't been because it's none of your business-"
"you're my best friend of course it's my business. you two looked like you were having fun, like actual fun! something you never seem to indulge in. and then all of a sudden you're icing her out?" atsumu watches as sakusa sets a pod into the coffee machine, setting his mug below the spout.
sakusa's jaw tightens and he keeps his eyes on the machine, unable to look at his friend. "we did have fun, but it's nothing more. i'm telling you now, nothing happened. we just had fun for one night and now we're coworkers again," he finally looks over at atsumu, noticing the way he immediately laughs, unbelieving.
"you're a fucking liar, sakusa. a fucking liar. 'nothing happened' you do know i know you by now? that i know when you've pulled away?" atsumu meets his gaze, making sure the two of them are on the same level, that they both know how unbelievably scared he is.
"what do you want me to say atsumu?"
"that you'll talk to her, give it a chance. you’ve closed yourself off for far too long and it’s time to actually indulge in your feelings… which i know you have,” he grabs one of the bags of chips off of the counter, popping it open.
sakusa looks back down at his mug as the coffee finishes flowing. there’s a part of him that knows that atsumu is right. that that night with you made him feel so free to be himself. to talk about things that he normally wouldn’t discuss with just a coworker. and yet he can’t help that bewildering feeling that forces him to back away before it gets too serious.
“i’ll try.. if you promise not to say anything else. you speak a word of this to y/n and i’m never going to onigiri miya with you again. and i’ll convince osamu to stop giving you free meals,” sakusa grabs a hold of his mug, listening to atsumu dig into the chips.
atsumu narrows his eyes and nods, “okay, but if you pull away again, then i’m gonna hound you again. i’ll even shout it to the whole office.”
rolling his eyes, sakusa gives atsumu a short wave and heads back to your booth. he walks down the same hallway he always walks but there’s an energy to him that he doesn’t normally have. he can feel his legs carrying longer strides, eager to get back to his seat. sakusa’s hands feel jittery, like he’s already had the full cup of coffee. however, he knows it’s because he’s still scared.
he’s still scared to get to know you, to break down his walls and finally let someone in. it’s terrifying. yet he knows how freeing it could be to finally have someone to love. his hand grabs the door’s handle, a static charge shocking his finger, not helping with how fast his heart was already beating.
entering the booth, he looks over to where you typically sit. and there you are, some notes sprawled across the desk as you scroll through your computer’s list of songs. there’s a way you look so intriguing when you’re focused. fingers holding up your head from your temple to your cheek, biting your lip incessantly.
sakusa almost thought he got out unscathed from looking at you for far too long, however, you quickly look up and meet his gaze. “good morning,” he nods, pursing his lips before heading off into his sound room.
you let out a short sigh, eyes narrow as you look back at him, “good morning…”
he wants to pretend like your cold demeanor isn’t his fault. however, sakusa tends to get a moment of clarity after his closures, realizing just how cold he can be towards others. and now, he’s just receiving the same treatment. doesn’t mean that he doesn’t look up at you every few seconds. from the moment you start the show to when you take your first break, sakusa is sure that you can feel his gaze boring into your face.
much to his dismay, it seems your response to leave the room as quickly as you can, avoiding him at any and all costs. “i have some making up to do…”
taglist (open): @eggyrocks @causenessus @applepi25 @softpia @bakery-anon
@jadeoru @yessimo @lale-txt @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @sugacor3
@quikhs @todorokiskitten @mollyrolls @honeyfewr @pookiebearcave
@phoenix-eclipses @madiexuberant @kameyyy @cr4yolaas @asrichin
@bakugouswh0r3 @bakingcuriosity @zazathezaer @diorzs @urslytherin
@ghostreader0307
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#hq#haikyuu fic#haikyuu fanfic#hq x reader#hq fanfic#☆ talk it out#sakusa x reader#sakusa kyoomi x reader#hq sakusa#sakusa kiyoomi#haikyuu sakusa#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#art by @/zhang.tattoo
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@storm-ismyusername
I think I'm leaning toward "The Lost Signal Ending" if we're gonna be fancy about it.
Definitely. Alastor can't stand not being able to communicate, and writing takes too long given how much he likes to talk, so sign language would be his best option. It's infuriating for him when someone doesn't know it and they're stuck at an impasse though.
Oh, he loathes them. This is one incident that Vox is never going to forget. He wants revenge, but right now his priority is helping Alastor recover. He struggles to retain details about the Vees themselves due to the directive that bans him from remembering them, but the fact that they hurt Alastor is burned into his mind. They aren't really individuals in his mind, just two halves of the same entity: the enemy.
The Vees definitely aren't satisfied (maybe if they finish the job and kill him, they'll feel better! Right? Right??), but they don't really have time to grapple with the morality of their actions. A full-on war has broken out amongst all the different overlords due to this development, and that's taking up most of their brain space. Their "plan" for this scenario has also gone screwy because whenever they pictured themselves successfully capturing Alastor, they assumed Vox would be safely in their care. They might've taken him too when they snatched Alastor (Vox would not react well to waking up in his old "prison" and hearing the sound of Alastor in pain over their shared frequency), but Charlie sure as hell wasn't going to leave him behind when she came to rescue Al. Knowing that Vox is out there, tending to Alastor's wounds, with his loyalty to him increased ten-fold... it's worrying, to say the least.
Husk doesn't know what to do. He isn't 100% sure whether Alastor still has the power to keep him here, but his gut's telling him to run while he can. He doesn't want to end up dying for Alastor of all people, but he can't abandon the rest of the hotel crew in good conscience. Husk knows he's not going to be able to convince Charlie to just throw Alastor to the wolves, so it feels "abandon your friends" and "possibly die for the person who's kept you enslaved for the past twenty years" are his only options. In terms of how he feels about Alastor as an individual though... I'm can't decide if Husk is mature enough to pity him or bitter enough to think Al got what was coming to him. Maybe both.
Vaggie's just disoriented at first. The truth about Vox and Niffty hadn't come out yet, so she had no idea why Angel's boss and his business partner abducted Alastor to torture him live on the air (or how they'd even accomplished such a thing since Alastor had been hiding the injury from his fight with Adam for the past several weeks/months). She was actually scared for him and felt real empathy when she saw the state he was in, as well as the effect it had on Vox and Niffty. And then she found out why this all happened. Vaggie feels like a fool for ever letting herself care about Alastor's wellbeing and is grappling with all the same stuff she has to deal with under normal circumstances when the truth is revealed. There might be a conflict between her and Charlie where the shock of the situation makes Charlie double-down and refuse to believe that this was all in retaliation for something Alastor did to Vox, while Vaggie struggles to make her accept reality. Could probably do something interesting with Vaggie and the whole "eye for an eye" thing, given how this is all taking place after she chose not to take revenge on Lute...
Um... this whole situation is... a lot, to say the least. They're relieved to have their dad back, but that relief doesn't last long. No matter what they do, they can't get Vox to calm down– he's beside himself with panic and grief and fury– and he flees back to the hotel with Alastor at the first opportunity. He might not even recognize them when he sees them, they've been apart for so long.
Fineas was 100% on board with the Vees revenge plan from the start. He didn't take part in it, but there's no doubt in his mind that it was deserved. Ondine went in when the Vees first captured Alastor and tried to get him to explain why he did all this. He may or may not have given her a truthful answer. Either way, she was so disgusted that she walked off and left him to his fate. She genuinely thought the Vees were going to kill him and might start having second thoughts when he escapes, though. The kid versions are basically the same, just slightly less involved.
The Vees don’t truly believe they’ll ever be able to accomplish this, but they’ve agreed that if they ever manage to capture Alastor (and are confident they can keep him from escaping), they want to put him through exactly what he did to Vox, and more. Days of torture, broadcasted live on television+livestream for all of Hell to see, until he completely snaps. They don’t know what he did to Vox to rewire his brain, but if they can, they’ll do their best to use their own methods of mental manipulation to humiliate him in the same way before finally killing him.
They’ve also promised each other that if they’re ever able to do this, no matter what Vox says or does, they won’t relent until the job is done. He can hate them all he wants; they’re taking revenge on his behalf whether he wants them to or not.
#alastor (ram)#vox (ram)#valentino (ram)#velvette (ram)#husk (ram)#vaggie (ram)#charlie (ram)#vox's family#randomly accessed memories#dark#endings#misc. endings#storm-ismyusername
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you ever miss your comfort character so bad you gotta go outside about it
#idk i've been pretty stressed that's probably why i randomly got rly sad abt it#and by it i mean the uh. gestures vaguely at fandom i guess#either nobody's there or it feels like i'm not exactly welcome. or both! which tough shit i'mma take up the space regardless but like#this weird sense of elitism I get in a space that's built by and nurtured by people whose MO is 'caring a lot' is.. hm.. interesting#idk just got reminded this morning that some people view critique as a free pass to drag a creator through the mud#when what you SHOULD be doing is uplifting them so that they can improve and reach their maximum potential. you clown. you absolute buffoon#it wasn't targeted at me or anything it just made me so angry/sad. smad. i'm smad about it#i just get hit with a wave of what's the point. what's the fucking point nobody cares abt things made with passion for the love of the game#we don't have time/it's not good enough/it doesn't matter/it's been done better/why x when we have y#and you know what fair enough everyone's entitled to their own emotional responses of course.#if you think your opinion is reason enough to tear it down then we're gonna have to agree to disagree on that one i think#just keep in mind that you could have loved what they made. other people could have loved it. it could have changed something for someone.#i personally know artists and have worked with artists who have put so so much effort into making something work over and over and over#only to have no audience and get back up saying guys let's give this just one more try.#hell back in the day I was an accomplished writer kid who was told that you may be good but nobody gives a fuck#artists who use up all these resources just to bring something new into the world and nobody's looking. what's the point. what's the point#anyway. i'm gonna go wade through the snow for a bit maybe sink my bare hands into it you guys want anything#started the post thinkin abt my blorbos ending it crying putting my shoes on alright I'm going I'm GETTING the FRESH AIR fuck off#i'll be god once i've gotten a bottle of coke and some mozzarella sticks. wait am i pmsing. fuck#god i hate that i don't drink sometimes.
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I always get so angry but then I play video games and I'm no longer so angry
This is a problem when it comes to wanting to leave my shit ass job
#speculation nation#i was absolutely ranting with my coworker about this shit#if either of us leave we're both going. straight up.#boss was threatening to fire them and im like. if he does? im quitting on the fucking spot.#i dont have a job lined up yet but im gonna start seriously looking#and if it comes down to it i dont think itll take too long for me to find Something. not with my qualifications.#might not be the best paying job right away but so long as i have Something & it doesnt make me utterly miserable#itd still be better than this fucking shithole.#i used to love this place but everything has soured because of him.#ive toughed it out for Far too fucking long. and ive finally reached the end of my Fucking Rope.#8 years total of my life ive given to this store. but no more.#it's not a matter of 'if'. it's a matter of 'when'.#and once we leave at least 2 of the other seasoned employees will be leaving.#4 out of 6 of the fully trained drink makers. gone.#and the other 2 are leaving at the end of this semester Anyways.#so what are ya gonna do Boss Man? if our labor has really been that worthless to you then surely this will be no big deal!#right? right? right? from how youve treated us it's clear! it's clear you take us for granted and dont give a shit about us as people.#so youre gonna get a rude fucking awakening Very soon. have fun cleaning up the wreckage of your mockery of our lives.#anyways hi yeah shit's about to blow up at work and im jumping ship as soon as i can make it work#i also got caught in freezing rain and had to walk home (took an hour of walking when itd usually take 25 mins!) bc i Could Not Bike#may or may not have to go into work tomorrow and if i do i may just take a hammer to those fucking windows [joke][this is a joke]#its gonna ice all night and i voiced these legitimate concerns for my safety and got told#'well we'll follow what the city standards are' or whatever the fuck. and got told to take the bus.#WELL COME ON SHITSTAIN I STILL HAVE TO WALK TO THE BUS STOP NOW DONT I??????#plus i just dont like the idea of going out rn at all. it's so dangerous. im for serious Everything is ice.#even on a salted road my bike still slid out from under me. i Had to walk it home#walking very very carefully with very ginger steps. lord help me on any inclines bc gravity was pushing me Down.#it was awful. one of the worst commutes of my life. and this fucker has the audacity to tell me to just Take The Bus?#hes getting on my last Fucking nerves. oh yeah and him completely dismissing my coworker's concerns about passive aggression#ran out of tags (lmfao) so ill stop ranting here. but just. i am so Fucking done with him.
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hmm our brain has made the jump from "wow cooking earlier was awesome! I can't wait to do that more when I have the energy for it again" to "if I can cook every so often people are going to think I should be able to cook for myself all the time and not take me seriously when I'm too fatigued/in too much pain/etc and we're gonna be expected to do stuff we can't do" and started getting anxious and like, hopefully that's not gonna be the case because yeah as much as I want to I definitely can't do this every day so now I'm just trying to reassure or brain that we're not gonna suddenly be expected to do a bunch of stuff without assistence
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#currently zooted#vent post#<- kinda? it's more just me trying to process some anxiety#our brain's ability to turn a fun experience into something to be anxious about is incredible#I mean in this case it is something we've experienced a lot because of our disabilities so it is a reasonable fear#but I think we're alright. our mum seemed pretty understanding about us not normally having that much energy#also I think I'm more anxious than I would otherwise be because when we feel really good for a while#we end up getting drop and feeling like shit for a while afterwards#it's like the feeling after you've been to a concert and you get that ''post-concert depression''#so yeah I think that's making our brain a little bit more susceptible to getting freaked out over stuff#we'll be alright. I'm gonna go eat some candy or something and maybe lay down and get cosy for a while to see if that helps
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me, the symptoms experiencer, experiencing symptoms: wow gee i wonder what the fuck is happening right now i have no context for why i could possibly feel bad, surely i'm not experiencing symptoms. me, when i figure out it's the symptoms:
#gif warning#medical stuff#man getting labled as a hypochondriac at a formative age (any) was a hell of a kick to the balls#i don't even have those#and yet#me when i've been told all my symptoms can't be real and that i was makign it up for attention so i started just not talking about them#even though in private without anyone around i was still experiencing the symptoms i decided i just Wasn't#because why would my parents be wrong about that - they loved me right?#so if something was concerning they'd be worried if it was a real thing - i wasn't making it up but maybe i was#no one should have taught my father the term psychosomatic#he's the reason it's had to go up on the shelf#mom flat out telling me it was impossible that [redacted] because i was quote ''too young'' for it to be happening#so now i'm old and it's a Real Big Fucking Deal I guess#i'm experiencing the flare/crash i was anticipating and - thank fuck - my brain isn't going down the tubes with it#which is a fucking miracle because this is the lead up to my period and *normally* that's when the PMDD hits real fucking bad#but in a stroke of luck (???) my body decided it was just going to smash itself into the ground Krillin-style#and as i lay here in the crater of my own body's making i'm just like. well at least i don't want to die#which is truly the most throwing thing of everything actually#anyway....#got hEDS put on my medical file for reals though so like#that's in there#that exists#also the look of HORROR on the nurse tech's face when i showed how much distance my hips spread *every month* for my period#i'm LITERALLY going into labor monthly and i've been doing that since i was 11#no fucking WONDER my body has collapsed out from under me if we even just go by that fucking metric like godDAMN#ugh anyway.... i'm. this was NOT the stuff i wanted to focus on this year for personal growth and healing but we're doing it now i guess!#fuck! goddamn! piss in a cup#i have also... failed to do the task i was meant to today and technically there's still time but it's uh. i. i'm gonna need to ask for help#and i HATE asking for help especiallywhen i need it most#another thing my parents have to answer for when they greet whatever judge they find at the end of their lives
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I'm so scares of the volunteer roles due to lack of confidence 🫠
So the food serving thingy has two roles: cooking/prepping food, and writing orders and keeping track of who got food.
The first I'm not very confident in but would like to try eventually. The second one is compared to another kind of volunteer role, which is greeting ppls at the food bank and maybe serving stuff if requested and just helping ppl out in front of the building/outside. It says strong customer service skills are necessary for the role as well as being able to work with a diverse amount of ppl 🥺
And I would wanna do that if it's similar to the other one if it'll help me out, since the food serving thing is only two other ppl helping out the manager. But I have no experience with customer service and my social skills are SHOT! Also de-escalation and understanding of trauma are mentioned as helpful for the role 🥲 Idk if I'm good with de-escalation, best I could do was my family and even then they RLLY liked to NOT LISTEN to me when I gave em advice to calm down (like separating physically while they were both pissed off--I swear mom was rlly immature about it when I was trying to help my bro because HE IS A CHILD!!). And trauma. I mean I have *experience* but do I know how to handle **others** with trauma? No, no not rlly 🥲
Hhhhhh telling myself I just need to jump into it. Doesn't help that I watched a bartending video thing. Sink or swim. I'm so scared of sinking ;-; I'm scared of if they see me as pathetic and useless despite it being a volunteer thing!!
Fuck I just need to like. Work on the days that they're not serving ppl, not open to the public. So 3 specific days. And then I need to go from that to working on days that ARE busy, but I'm still not interacting with the public public yet. And then I need to ease into working with the public via the front of house roles. And then I can do whatever I want at that point ig-
God I want to start doing stuff now but I can't because I haven't been told if I need to do anything specific 🥺 I have shifts scheduled for after the event, bc it's in a week, and that's for the one role I feel like is probably rlly easy? Probably? And I just. Hhhh. The most info I have actually comes from a training video for a semi-unrelated role, bc it shows what I assume is made/left by the role I signed up for?
Hhhhh a lot. A lot is going on rn. A lot of serious planning and preparation and I'm trying really hard to not be a tight little ball of rubber bands (incredibly stressed out) about it. But it's hard not to. Especially when half of my stress comes from my roommate(s).
Fuck I just. Need to wait. Because that's what EVERYONE says. That things take time. I just need to wait for the time to do these things. Wait.
As if that hasn't been detrimental to me my entire life.
#sepiasys.txt#I'm so so so scared man I need. I need to like. choose other roles TwT As much as I/we RLLY wanna work with ppls; we need to get USED to#other people FIRST. Its hard to deal with other people as someone who is autistic and was shut in 24/7 (not entirely by choice until it was)#Back of house to front of house to hot food. It sounds so simple but it's really not. and I have to walk there in shitty shoes but its. fine#Study study study study I need to study the training videos again again again again#AAAAAGH I hate this I hate society I hate life and existing like a normal person BECAUSE I'M NOT T-T#But it's so easy to mask It's so easy to feel like I've never been stressed out or anxious at all when I'm there because that's always how#it goes with me. Going to a new therapist? Anxious bc alone. Actual therapy? fine. good even maybe. go home? decompress.#Going to a job interview? Jittery and nervous and pissed off and everything. Actually doing it? Jittery in one place but otherwise perfectly#fine! atleast emotionally. Ig. idk. AFTER interview? Go home and try to calm down and chill out w/a reward for myself to help.#It's always fine DURING and I try to tell myself that. Try to say remember that I'm in the moment!! And IN THE MOMENT things turn fine!!#But it doesn't really rid me of my anxiety. It just gets. blocked out. I would say masked but I genuinely feel it at minimal levels to zero#God why do I have to be built like this why is this how I function why does the rubber bands just get thrown into a box while we play w/smth#else temporarily before pulling the rubber bands out again? Why do I we have to be anxious and stressed until we're not and just#Why do emotions have to be so fucking stupid and weird and like a fucking light switch all the time#I FUCKING HATE THIS I HATE NORMAL PEOPLE I HATE THIS STUPID SOCIETY WE LIVE IN SO MUCH AND I JUST WISH I COULD STAY ALIVE AND EVEN LIVE#WITHOUT HAVING TO DO ALL THE STUPID SHIT YOU'RE EXPECTED TO DO AND EVEN SHAMED FOR NOT DOING OR NOT BEING ABLE TO DO#I hate it so much. God I want to fucking die in a HOLE. I'm so tired of this shit (I'm not 🦊 I'm just. crashing out? Idk but I'm like. havin#g a bad time and it's just kinda like lashing out in my depression spiral or whatever this is. idk. If u saw me physically you'd see how#depressed I look/feel. (and maybe empty too bc yk. But still).#OK RANT OVER I'm gonna go draw something :3 Or maybe try and figure out what was written from before (IW) even if it doesn't end up working
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shhh, I know I talk about my children too much. but you can't stop my love
forgot to include this at first, whoops, but I also added a little daily par tracker so I can see it all in one place! there's a separate sheet where i update my word count every time i think about it, and then this table uses a vlookup to find the most recent word count and show it as a percent and a daily par to finish by the listed due date. (the par column compares between the overall goal and the subgoal and lists whichever par is higher between the two)
#really excited i broke 40k on that first one!#but i'm def struggling with not having anything to post#i think i'd have more motivation if i had some more oneshots ready to publish but uhhh#i'm ngl i don't#every time i try to work on one i get too excited about the series and end up back over to it#which is probably good!#because i'm back up to ~1k/day across three of those fics#but 1k a day could get me SO MANY oneshots in a month you know?#feels like i'm losing out#also don't look too close at that whumptober project#as always the prompts are excellent but of COURSE i'm struggling to come up with anything i'm excited to write for them#also now for the true cruelty#i've been spending so much time writing that i don't even want to scroll through The Used lyrics looking for titles for fics 3 and 4!#like dude i already KNOW i want everything in this series to be The Used inspired so i have that narrowed down#i just can't get myself to do it!#fic 2 is also still stuck with a different title i originally considered for the same reason#also yes the used technically breaks my typical fic titling rule#they're too well-known and it hurts my hipster heart to show you all that i'm basic#but they have SO MANY good lyrics that i couldn't resist anyway#ANYWAY final vent:#i really want to write right now but i've gotta clock in in six minutes so i'm just gonna cry while i work instead#(but my side work project is going really well right now so i'm excited about that too)#(like we're meeting to discuss the timeline today and i think we're gonna be able to hit our milestones a few weeks early now)#(since i just had a major breakthrough on something i projected taking 3 weeks)
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If your vision for the deradicalization of right-wing men begins and ends with "other men telling them that that's gross and to stop it" then I'm sorry, you do not understand how masculinity works.
"Men who hold patriarchal status" and "men who are feminists" are two groups who overlap less than you want them to. I'm sorry. That's not solely because men are so happy with patriarchal status that they don't want to risk it by policing misogyny/queerphobia/racism, It's because being misogynistic, queerphobic, and racist, end expressing other forms of toxic masculinity(and often abusively so) are part of how people establish and maintain patriarchal status. The men who have the ability to stop this via nothing but peer pressure are the very people who are doing it. That's by design. And engaging in feminist intervention is, in and of itself, usually the abrupt end of that status and its associated power to persuade misogynistic men.
Like, I have worked in blue collar jobs as a notably queer person. It was pretty much a constant deluge of verbal abuse. In my experience, most blue collar work environments are exploitative, abusive, and bigoted, and very gleefully so. On the occasions I have spoken up about someone saying something that was super fucking out of line (asking me which of the girls walking by was hottest. We were installing a portable classroom at a middle school), believe it or not, they completely failed to be shamed! Because nobody else on the crew gave a fuck. *I* was the weird one. They ghosted me. A full blown company ghosted me. I suddenly didn't have a job anymore because they just straightforwardly stopped telling me where the next job site was.
Like, this doesn't mean that it's your job to do it, but this vision you have of these big groups of men where everyone is on the fence and there is precisely one shit stirrer who can be shut down by a brave feminist man who can single handedly set the example for all these other guys...you are high. You are describing an "everybody clapped" level absurd scenario. Most of these truly virulent misogynistic guys either have zero friends, because, you know, our society is atomized to fuck, or they are in a group where the feminist guy is actually the weirdo who can be shut down and ostracized much, much easier than the misogynists, because there is no such thing as a man misogynists respect who stands up for women.
You might be saying "well, we're talking about longstanding personal relationships, actually. Like, they need to have to want to spend time with you and then, as a side effect, you can mind control them out of being a threat to us."
Problem with that being:
1: Many feminist men also have no friends, see the atomized society above.
2: Feminist men already stopped hanging out with men who make rape jokes because why the fuck would we want to spend time with them.
3: That isn't just because we respect women so hard. We are in many cases talking about men who are also deeply queerphobic, heirarchical, violent and abusive to other men. What initially drew me to feminism and women was a lack of heirarchical squabbling and constant bullying, and the ability to be openly queer. A lot of men who came to feminism did so because they knew that the patriarchy was not a place they would find success or acceptance. These are not the men who are gonna be able to change right wing minds.
4. Men do not view themselves as a monolith. There is no universal brotherhood of men. The actual meaning of the term "Fragile masculinity" is that men are constantly expected to prove that they are deserving of the status of being a member of their own gender. There are large swathes of men--including most of the men who you'd look to as examples of good, feminist men who you want to undertake this project--who are considered failed men, sissies, f****ts, soyboys, ect. They are. Not. Going. To. Convince. These. Men. Of. Jack. Shit. Much less successfully *shame* them. Jesus.
I know all of this sucks. I know it would be cool to be able to just point at a group and have them be responsible for the work. But nah. It's gonna have to be a societal project, one that will probably outlast all of us. Sorry. The thing you want these men to do is, absolutely, the morally correct thing to do. But presuming that it would be effective is, and once again I am so sorry about this, just ignorance of how these social groups function.
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do you think my characters hate me for loving them and hateing them and putting them thru it?
#i wrote this and immediately thought#its not that serious go to sleep#but i noticed i have a kinda insert in a couple of my stories and the thought came to me#im like god in those stories but i hate having me in stories so i dont name them after me but deep down i know they are me#its werid. all of my ocs are me or someone i feel like i would like#like tobi i love that dude#idk im gonna sleep#this always happens when i go outside and then am forced to part with large sums of money because life#“im gonna go on my stupid walk for my stupid health”#“sure love that. btw you have to pay this btw. give me ur money. ur not using it right? promise i wont take it all”#*takes it all*#its so fucked too because i end up spending more because im so fuck it done#“i only have 24 dollars and 37 cents for the rest of the week even tho i got paid literally yesterday...i have to make it last...”#“whatever if i die i die im just gonna spend it on lunch idc anymore”#and lunch is like. chiken tenders. because i wanted hot food. and it sucks because i cant like. ask ppl for money.#because im sure there are ppl who need it more than someone who cant budget. i think they think i make more than i actually make.#i think thats why they keep taling so much. they dont account for taxes that get taken out because. i cant count. i will not lie. but i sai#i told them i get paid an amount hourly. and i timed that by the 40 not including what gets taken out. and then i#counted how much they keep taking from me and if i dont get taxes taken i would have a whole 100 extra to my name!#idk it would be awkward and difficult if i aired my grievance to them because then we wouldn't have a place to sleep anymore. or whatever h#whatever house we're supposedly saving for.#idk i dont procces my emotions deeply and im tired of sleeping in a hotel but its our cheapest option right now.#its better than staying in that house with the lights and water cut off because it was too expensive#idk. its not bad tho. i can get to work. i can take a bath. everyones crammed in one room but theres internet. i can go on my phone#lisyen to music or something. im sure i#thankfully. i dont want for things. so im not like ordering clothes and stuff we dont have room for. i just have a bed. which is nice.#oh no it turned into a vent
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atsumu who goes above and beyond to impress you, his crush and classmate of four years, in all definitions of “impress.”
honestly how the fuck isn't it obvious to you by now, he might as well be walking around with “i like y/n” tattooed on his forehead.
you mention you like guys that can cook once and holy fuck atsumu who still doesn't know how to use the microwave without quite literally burning the food, who's never chopped onions before without ending up with enough cuts to bandage his whole hand— that atsumu practices for weeks and stays up till 2 am to prepare for the lunch he'll make for himself, because osamu said said no and then because you bring homemade lunch to stay and eat in class with your friends— he'll casually just plop down on the seat next to you, his friends will then very obviously willingly talk loudly about his lunch and he'll just throw in a, “yeah, made it maself, 'm a solid chef, who do ya think taught 'samu?”
okay if that didn't get your attention, no worries, what are his friends there for?
if atsumu gets lucky in a day and catches you chatting away with your friends in the hallway, then he instructs his friends to walk past you, hover in the corner, just within your earshot— “'kay, so when we pass her by, ya gotta speak ma name real loud, loud enough so she can hear it, but don't annoy her”
and so for the time you stand there, trying to hold a conversation with your friends, all your mind can really focus on is the, “atsumu was so fucking good in practice today, if we're gonna win, then it'll be all him”
and then you hear the subject of the conversation speak, “nah, we're a team, every time we win, it's all thanks ta you guys,” because you also mentioned you like modest, humble guys.
god forbid the days you're absent in class.
atsumu who's sulking all day, doesn't know what the fuck is going on in classes, he's half in and half not in every conversation, even his passes are sloppy and weak. to the point osamu and suna are concerned, well, in their own ways, “are ya constipated or something, yer missin’ your spikes and yer passes as clumsy,” osamu says off-handedly.
“i heard y/n didn't come today, i think her friends said she's sick.” suna chips in, and atsumu shrinks in his spot like a grumpy cat.
“i already know that, wouldn't have come today if i knew she wasn't comin’.”
“you'd miss practice then.”
“don't care, don't talk to me, don't wanna do anything, what's the point.”
“down fucking bad,” suna muses, and atsumu glares at him.
atsumu's day is ruined and his disappointment is immeasurable. why did you get sick? how could you get sick? now he's worried and half of himself and his passes are shit and god, he wants to see you. he feels like he could die.
then when you finally show up the next day after what felt like eternity to atsumu, you find on your desk a pile of snacks with a little note— banana milk, everyone knows it's your favourite, the bar of chocolate they only sell down the convenience store near the school, the glazed donuts that you're always eating in class, and a lot of bubblegums that only one person in class knows you like— atsumu's handwriting is rushed and barely comprehensive but you know it by heart because he doesn't know you saw him slip the note you found in your locker this morning, and countless other mornings—
“i hope you smile because of this”
atsumu as a secret admirer is... not so secret because he's still unaware that you see him every morning, and let him giggle to himself as he slips the notes and the strips of bubblegums in your locker— you don't even like that flavor.
but he gave them, so you think they might just be your favourite.
then again, maybe atsumu doesn't want to be a secret admirer.
atsumu has a crush on you and you know that— he's very obvious. but he's also very dense and doesn't realise that everyone besides him can see you like him too. he doesn't know the only reason you bring homemade lunch is because he had started to eat lunch in class with his friends. you stand in the hallways with your friends pretending to talk so that when atsumu's walking past you, his friends will practically yell his name and you'll see him blushing shyly. he still doesn't know you come to his every match, cheering for him and scream with joy at every one of his scores.
atsumu makes it obvious he has a crush on you but is stupidly dense that you reciprocate all the same :'))))
© yuquinzel 2024 [ plagiarism is a violation of moral rights ! ]
POSTING BECAUSE WHY TF NOT HUH HUHHHHHHHHH
@kyoghurts hi bbg
#❀˖° ─ hana writes.#ATSUMU IS ME ME IS ATSUMU#suddenly remember everything i did to impress my crush LMAO never again#if i had a dollar for everytime i wrote “atsumu”#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader#miya atsumu#miya atsumu x reader#atsumu miya#atsumu x reader#atsumu fluff#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#atsumu x you#atsumu x y/n#atsumu drabble#haikyuu drabble
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