#like sirius dying to have his mothers approval but he will never get it

[del-stars]

and if i said sirius and walburga….?

[atlasdoe]

THE HOGWARTS CLASS OF 1978 - pt 13

REMUS LUPIN

Name - Remus Lupin

Blood status - Halfblood

Date of birth - 10th March 1960

House - Gryffindor

Academic achievements - Prefect

He fought in both wars as a member of the Order and the Advanced Guard before dying during the battle of Hogwarts with his wife, leaving his newborn son orphaned

Cannon

Was turned into a werewolf by Fenrir Greyback after his father said that werewolves "deserve nothing but death"

Despite their past prejudice, Remus grew up with loving parents

Remus failed to find employment after his education because of his affliction as a werewolf. However, James used his wealth to financially support him

By the time of Voldemort's downfall, Remus' mother had died but his father still lived. In between wars Remus refused to move back home, fearing that doing so would threaten his fathers "peaceful life" However, he still saw Lyall from time to time. which made his father happy

By the early 1990s, Remus was living in poverty, in a tumbledown semi-derelict cottage in Yorkshire

After his death he was awarded an Order of Merlín first class. He was the first werewolf ever to be awarded this title

The example of his life and death played an important role in lifting the stigma on werewolves among the wizarding society

Headcanon

Bisexual

Welsh

Imma go off cannon here so you'll have to bare with me

Remus had an older brother called Romulus. When the boys were young Hope and Lyall divorced but remained good friends. Hope then later got with her childhood friend Paris Meadowes, who was also a witch and had two daughters of her own, Dawn and Dorcas. The two women and their four children lived together above a pub they owned called "The Howelling Wolf"

Remus and Dorcas were childhood besties to step siblings and i love them

okay divergence from cannon over

I'm sorry y'all he loved chocolate and had to e biggest sweet tooth known to man

Remus was an average student until his third year, when during a Hogsmead visit Remus and his friends witness a werewolf being shunned from a shop that he was applying for a job at. Seeing how the werewolf was being treated made Remus realise that he would have to work twice as hard if he wants to make any sort of career for himself. Since that day he took school extremely seriously and prioritised his education

He always wanted to be a teacher

THE LITTLEST SPOON

Also has never had to live his life without forehead kisses and secretly never wants to

He hated Quidditch, literally every part of Quidditch he hated

He cried when he found out he made Prefect

He didn't care to keep his books in good condition. He would dog eat them, write in them, crack the spins and sometimes use them as coasters for his tea. So long as he could see the words he didn't care what they looked like

His family were good friends with Newt Scamander

His friends were James, Sirius, Peter, Lily, Mary and Dorcas. He didn't speak to anyone else unless he needed to

Despite this he did get along with the younger years after becoming a Prefect and although he was awkward at first Lily helped him be more confutable around them.

He never approved of Dorcas being friends with Regulus, Barty and Evan but didn't say anything because he didn't want to argue with her

This boy would avoid confrontation like it was the plegue. You could spit in his face and he'd thank you

Remus was sooooo desperate to not be seen like other werewolves. He knew that he secret would come out eventually deep down so he made it his job to make sure that nobody had any problems with him ever. He refused to get mad, would never argue back and bottled up every negative emotion he had

[cyandreamsinwords]

Why would walburga die from a broken heart did she think Sirius killed Lrya

(This question is in refrence to the Cut and Run AU, so might not make much sense if you're unfamiliar with that).

I like to think of Walburga as this awful woman who feels the same complex emotions as any other person. I still think she's capable of feeling abandoned and left behind, even if it's by people she didn't necessarily approve of and pushed away. At the end of her life, she's lost her husband and both her sons, and in the case of Cut and Run, her granddaughter. Even for a woman like her, that's going to take a toll.

I sort of mentioned this in a different post (this one here), but Walburga felt she had no choice but to take Lyra when Sirius went to jail. She did this as a way to "clean up after him" and in a twisted way keep that part of her son. Not out of pure, familial love, but out of a need to have control and show him no matter what she is his mother and he needs her. Then, in the context of the AU, he severs that last connection she has with him without ever speaking to or acknowledging what she did and she's once again completely alone. Sirius fixates in part 7 of Cut and Run about never having that last argument he gets to win with his mother, but he did the very same to her months earlier and just didn't know it.

Her eldest son will never come back to her, her youngest will never be found, her husband is dead, and Lyra, her one last familial burden is ripped away. And I don't feel even screaming harpy Walburga Black can feel absolutely nothing at that. She was already a few years from dying, this just speed things along a bit.

And that's not to say she deserves sympathy or forgiveness. She's still a neglectful and abusive woman who didn't deserve her son or granddaughter. Purely evil characters don't make good habitats for brain worms though.

[marvelslut16]

Idiots in love

Pairing: William ‘Bill’ Weasley x reader 

Synopsis: (Y/N) has been in love with Bill ever since she met him their first year at Hogwarts. Will she finally tell Bill how she feels, like Mrs. Weasley hopes she will, or will Fleur and Ginny’s assumptions about (Y/N)’s love life get in the way. 

Word count: 2.9k+

Warnings: Angst. Dumb asses pining after each other. Fleur, if she counts lmao. Brief mentions of death. 

A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for months, I wrote it as a self indulgent piece since I can’t date Bill in Hogwarts Mystery and I wasn’t sure if anyone would actually read it. It's cannon divergent. Also, tell me if you want a part 2!

My first fic of the new year! Hopefully I'll be way more consistent and inspired this year. Thank you to everyone reading any of the fics I write, I love you all!

“Molly, he’s happy with her,” you roll your eyes at the older woman who had become like a mother to you over the years. 

You met her at Kings Cross Station the morning of your first year, she helped you cross the barrier, your parents are muggles who are afraid of anything different. You were in Bill’s year, the two of you becoming fast friends on the train ride. Through your years at Hogwarts you two became inseparable, both becoming Head Girl and Head Boy together. You two always studied together, explored the castle together, went to Hogsmeade together, you did everything together. Well, except one thing, you didn’t fall in love together; you fell for him, and he fell for that foul, loathsome Emily Tyler and now Fleur Delacour.

You spent almost every Christmas Holiday under the burrow’s roof, along with most of your summers. The burrow was your real home, and the Weasley’s were your family. After you and Bill had graduated Molly and Arthur insisted you use their first names, both convinced you and Bill would finally get together. But that didn’t happen, you both went separate ways, barely even owling over the years. He went on to be this fantastic cursebreaker for Gringotts, getting sent all the way to Egypt. And you, you became the astronomy professor at Hogwarts, you thrived in the subject and Professor Sinistra transferred to Uagadou.

“But you’re perfect for him,” Molly nags. You loved the women with your whole heart, but she really needed to learn when to drop matters of the heart. Especially when the topic of discussion was set to arrive soon. 

“Not everything works out how we want it to,” you sigh as you hand her a clean dish to dry, you had wanted to clean the dishes the muggle way. “Especially when it involves one's heart.”

The two of you are waiting for everyone to arrive, Arthur is picking the kids up from the train now that it’s summer holiday. You had apparated to the burrow after the students boarded the train, now officially a part of the Order. Dumbledore and Sirius are dead, but that just means that everyone needs to fight harder. 

“I just want you to be happy,” Molly’s eyes are soft and sad as she looks at you. 

“I am,” you smile through the lie. There’s a pop from the living room, assuming it’s just Charlie you continue. “I don’t need a man Molly, my students make me happy.”

“Mum,” the unmistakable voice of William Weasley calls as he walks towards the kitchen. “I have great news, Fleur and I are engaged! We want to get married this summer!”

You accidentally drop the plate you're washing back into the soapy water, causing some to splash your shirt. For a split second you see Molly’s face fall before she puts on a bright fake smile as she turns to her eldest. You refuse to turn and see him, you thought you had enough time to prepare yourself to see him again, but you didn’t. He refused to see you after he got hurt during the battle of the astronomy tower when he was in the hospital wing and ignored you in the few weeks following.  

“Oh, wow,” Molly tries to come up with a response that won’t upset him. “This quickly?”

“I can’t take the chance, not now,” his mood is hard to read from his voice. He almost seems too defensive when he responds. “Not with everything happening.”

Your heart stops its thumping for a second, you didn’t realize it would hurt this much to see him happy. You want more than anything for him to be happy, but you also know that his mother and sister will never approve of Fleur. And he’ll never be fully happy because of that. But maybe you're wrong, maybe you don’t really know him. Maybe you never did. 

“I can’t believe I signed up for bloody astronomy again,” you can hear Ron complain through the open window before Molly can respond.

“You know you love me,” you holler out the window as Ron and Ginny get closer to the house. They’re the only two at Hogwarts now, they’re growing up so fast. 

“Yeah, yeah professor,” he mutters as he walks through the door before grinning widely at you. 

Even though you had seen Ginny hours ago, the younger girl runs up to you and throws her arms around you. You laugh as she pulls back and makes a face as some of the soap suds transferred to her shirt. 

“You just saw (Y/N),” Ron rolls his eyes at Ginny’s actions.

“Yeah but that’s different,” Ginny defends. “At Hogwarts I can’t talk to her about boys, or eat dinner with her, or ask for Quidditch tips.”

“I’m always up for talking about boys,” you grin down at the red headed girl. You laugh and apologize to Molly as Ginny pulls you from the kitchen and up to her room. 

You don’t glance at Bill, you can’t. You’re too scared that all of the feeling you have bottled up will resurface with just one glance. You miss the way his eyes soften at your interaction with his sister, and how they trail after you as you get pulled past him. You sit with Ginny as she fawns over Harry for close to an hour, interjecting occasionally when she asks for your opinion. This is what you always imagined having a younger sister would feel like. 

“What about you?” she asks with a teasing tone in her voice. 

“What about me?” you laugh lightly as your eyebrows furrow in confusion. 

“You and professor Snape,” she’s smirking. 

“Severus?” you laugh before your face pulls into a disgusted look only Ginny can see. “We’re coworkers. Dare I say friends. And he’s a part of the Order, we have to at least tolerate each other.”

“Mhm,” she sounds unconvinced. “He smiled at you the other day! In the Great Hall, where people could see! He never smiles!”

“Ginny, we’re friends,” you try to get through to the stubborn teen. “Plus he’s known me since I was eleven, that would be gross.”

Before Ginny can respond there’s a knock on the open door, you turn around and see Bill for this first time in years. His red hair still falls to his shoulders, and he still has that fang hanging from his ear. There are scars down his cheek now, those and the fang make him look bad ass. Your heart stutters as your eyes meet his, the heartache that disappeared when you were gossiping with Ginny resurfaces with just one look.

“Dinners ready,” he says before turning and walking back down the stairs. 

Dinner is loads of fun, the two eldest Weasley’s joining the group since there’s a small Order meeting afterwards. Dinner is full of Charlie joking with you, something you're happy about since Ginny wouldn’t be able to bring up Severus again. You ignore the giggles and the French accent that poke holes in your heart as Bill only pays attention to Fleur, who showed up at the Burrow when you were upstairs. 

After dinner you agree to show Ron and Ginny some Quidditch moves you had picked up over the years, borrowing an old broom left behind by one of the other boys. Remus and Tonks appear in the front yard, signaling that the meeting would start momentarily. Ron thanks you as he continues to practice the moves as you fly to the ground. Ginny follows you, wanting to get a drink from the kitchen before it's closed off to the youngest two. 

“Are you going to take his last name, or is he going to take yours?” she teases. 

“Ginny, not now,” you sigh, not sure how to get it through her head that you have no feeling for the potions master without revealing that you’re in love with her oldest brother. You aren’t sure who’s worse, her or Molly. 

“Alright, whatever you say Mrs. Snape,” Ginny wiggles her brows in your direction as you head for the kitchen. 

“Mrs. Snape?” Severus’s monotonous voice comes from behind you two. Ginny’s eyes widen before she takes off running, and a strangled sound leaves your lips.

“Ginevra Molly Weasley, that’s a month of detention next year!” you yell after her. You take a breath before turning to stare into Snape’s obsidian eyes. “Ginny saw you laugh at my stupid joke in the Great Hall a few weaks ago and now she’s convinced you have feelings for me.” Severus raises his eyebrows at you before looking in the direction Ginny ran off in. “She’s just a kid Sev, don’t hold her delusions against her.”

“Weasley’s,” he mutters before heading to the kitchen himself. Dumbledore had told a select few in the Order the plans for Severus to kill him so Draco didn’t have to, and since the Headmaster was already dying nobody was as mad as expected. “Don’t you have feelings for the oldest one?”

“Be quiet!” you hiss, as look to make sure no one heard. He smirks before walking into the room where the meeting is to be held, leaving you standing confused in the hallway.

The meeting is small tonight; Remus, Tonks, Charlie, Molly, Arthur, Sev, yourself, Bill, and Fleur. The rest had prior engagements unfortunately, so it was essentially just family and Severus. 

Molly uses her magic to pour you a glass of tea as you sit beside Sev, the only open seat. You smile a quick thanks before lifting the cup to your lips. The warm liquid soothing your tired throat, students liked to talk over you during the last week of school so your throat was a little raw. 

“Do you want a cookie with that, love?” Snape’s monotonous voice is slightly louder than it normally is. The term of endearment comes as such a shock that you spit out the tea that's in your mouth, landing across the table on Fleur. 

There was no denying that Severus’s question was directed at you, he’s holding the plate full of Molly’s cookies right next to your face. The room goes deathly silent as the seconds pass by. Ginny, who was getting herself some pumpkin juice, drops the glass she was holding, it shatters when it hits the ground. Molly, Arthur, and Charlie abruptly stop their conversation to stare at you and Sev in shock. Remus furrows his eyebrows as he looks between you two, Tonks looks like she's holding back a laugh. A flash of pain seems to cross Bill’s face before it goes blank, and horror crosses Fleur’s when your tea lands on her. 

“I’m so sorry!” you cover your mouth, thankful the liquid wasn’t warm enough to burn. Bill doesn’t even turn to look at his fiancee, just stares at you. 

“Are you alright?” Snape has a small smile only you can see. You aren’t sure how to respond, especially as you stare at the amusement dancing in his onyx eyes. 

“I knew it!” Ginny yells, finally breaking the few seconds of silence, seconds that felt like years. You flick Sev’s leg under the table, and he has the audacity to grin larger.

“Thanks honey,” your eyes narrow slightly as you grab a cookie off the plate, passing it to Bill without looking away from the man in all black. 

The rest of the meeting is awkward, and as soon as it’s over you pull Sev out of his chair and outside. The cool night air cools your burning cheeks and he lets out a laugh that he had been holding in.

“What was that?” you pull at the ends of your hair. 

“We made your precious Weasley jealous,” even though he’s smirking, there’s no change in his inflection. 

“And now they all think we’re together!” your voice is high pitched and squeaky. 

“Good luck with that,” he disapparates before you can respond.

“I hate you!” you yell at the spot where Severus was just standing.

“You and Snape, huh?” Charlie’s voice cuts through the silent night. 

“Not bloody likely,” you roll your eyes, before plopping onto the ground. Charlie joins you as you lay and stare up at the stars. “He heard Ginny saying she thought he liked me, and he knows who I like, so he decided to run with it. He’s actually fun when you break through his cold exterior.”

“You still love Bill,” it isn’t a question. No matter how many times you denied it while you three went to school together, Charlie never believed you. 

“Yeah,” you sigh, turning to look at him. He’s already facing you so you continue, “your mum kept going on about how I should be the one with him this afternoon. She won’t drop it.”

“I love my brother,” Charlie makes sure you keep eye contact with him as he continues. “But he’s being stupid. I agree with mum, you should be the one marrying him.”

“He’s happy without me,” your voice comes out sadder than you thought it would, guard finally down. “We’ve barely talked in years, and he wouldn’t even let me see him after the attack. He doesn’t need me, nor does he want me in his life anymore.”

Charlie just sighs, annoyed that neither you nor Bill could see the truth starring you both in the face. You love each other. Charlie just lies next to you in comforting silence, staring at the night sky until he has to head back to Romania and you off to bed. 

A single tear slips down your cheek as you lay down in the bed that once belonged to Charlie. Ginny enters the room without knocking, and you quickly wipe away the tear. 

“Why didn’t you tell me!” she practically screams. 

“There’s nothing to tell, he was messing with you, Gin,” you look her directly in the eyes so she knows you aren’t lying. 

“What aren’t you telling me?” she sits beside you on the mattress. 

“I’m in love with Bill,” you whisper, finally saying the words out loud. Sure you had agreed with Charlie earlier, but you had never said the five words out loud before. It feels like a weight is lifted off your chest, until a new wave of heartache hits you. “I have been since we were in school, and it hurts Ginny. Fleur, she’s perfect, I couldn’t possibly compete with her.”

“You’re so much better than her, (Y/N),” Ginny grabs your hand, causing you to look up at her. “And he’s a fool if he doesn’t see that.”

“Thanks Gin,” you smile sadly, squeezing her hand before she heads off to her room. 

--

“Zank you,” Fleur’s French accent is the first thing you hear in the morning. Ginny comes up behind you as you stand in the hallway, and puts her hand on your shoulder. Today is the day you forget about all of this foolish childish love you have for Bill. 

Molly watches you closely as you sit down at the breakfast table, Ginny plopping down beside you. As you talk to the young girl about Quidditch over breakfast, a black owl flies through an open window. You roll your eyes as it plops a letter beside you, you give the owl some of your toast before it flies out of the window again. Ginny looks over your shoulder as you open the letter, the rest of the Weasley’s not-so-secretly watch you read it. 

The letter isn’t anything special, just Severus letting you know that you had left a book at Hogwarts. You know full well he’s being his dramatic self, going out of his way to send an owl, just so he can say he was right. He even added a p.s, asking if Bill had gotten jealous yet. You laugh at the ridiculous question, causing Bill to excuse himself and walk outside. Fleur doesn’t move from her seat, causing you and Ginny to make a face at each other.

A few moments pass before you decide to follow your old best friend against your better judgment, but someone should check on him. He’s in the backyard pacing like a madman, running his hands through his long hair and pulling on the tips. 

“Bill?” you ask softly. He whips around and looks at you, once again his face is hard to read. Your eyes, however, soften as soon as they see what Fenrier Greyback did to him. “What’s wrong?”

“You and Snape?” his voice is hard and cold. “He hated us growing up, and you just pretended that never happened and you're with him? He hated you!”

“It’s none of your business William!” your voice is high pitched, you’re angry. He doesn’t talk to you in ages and now all of a sudden he thinks it’s okay to judge your relationships. “We were annoying kids back then, of course he hated us.”

“You could do better than him!” his anger seems to rise at the use of his full first name. 

“We’re just friends!” your voice is shrill, and you're sure everyone inside can hear you two clearly. “Not that it’s any of your business anyway! Severus was letting me know I forgot some of my belongings at Hogwarts. You have no right to judge who I choose to spend my time with and who I befriend, not when you haven’t tried to talk to me in years Bill!”

With that you turn and head away from the burrow, not wanting to face anyone right now. Especially any of the Weasley's, and most of all, Molly. Bill calls your name as you walk away from him, but you don’t turn around. You can’t. William Weasley has broken your heart multiple times since you met him, and you aren’t about to give him the satisfaction of watching himself break your heart all over again.

Part 2

Permanent tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen​ @rexorangecouny @mrs-malfoy-always​

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Hair Dye

A/N: Another conversation with @dreamer821 and another fic is the product of it. I’ve been dying my hair for over a decade now, and JJ and I were discussing the colours we had been and it spiralled into this. It’s short but honestly it’s just self-indulgent fluff! I hope you all enjoy!

Summary: Sirius dyes your hair.

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

Warnings: some swearing, but honestly it’s a load of fluff

Word count: 1k

“Love, you do know you are magic right?”

“Sirius, I love you but please shut up and mix the bleach. My roots need doing.”

The smell of the bleach has both of your noses crinkling but Sirius is, as always, determined and works his way around your head, applying the bleach onto your roots, making sure that they are well covered before taking a step back.

The bleach burns as it develops; a sensation you had become used to over time. You sit on the toilet with cling film wrapped around your head; the heat helping the bleach to take quicker. It’s a sight to see – Sirius grins as he leans against the sink.

“Do you think you’d ever dye your hair a different colour?” You wonder.

Sirius takes a moment to think it over, “I don’t know. I don’t trust a lot of people with my hair.”

You laugh, “I know you don’t, but curiosity you know?”

“I do know,” He starts, “Why don’t we try it?”

“Try what?”

“Dye a bit of my hair? We can match then.”

“Are you serious?”

“That’s my name, but yes, I’m being serious.”

With the left over bleach in the bowl, you apply it to single chunk of his hair – right behind his ear in a place that can be covered easily but would show if his hair was tied up.

Sirius is nervous all the way through the process. He hardly ever touched his hair – he’d have the occasional trim but had never done anything as drastic in this. His trust in you at this moment was implicit.

As you’re sectioning his hair off and applying the bleach, you’re slightly overwhelmed with the trust he was placing in you. Sirius was the first to admit that he was quite vain when it came to his looks and his hair. He made it his mission in Third Year to grow it out, and he had kept it long – enjoying the looks he got off boys and girls whenever he tied it up.

You enjoyed playing with his hair; he’d let you plait it and style it, but he had never let you make such a permanent change. It scared him, but he trusted you with every inch of his life.

---------

You towel dry his bleached strand as Sirius towel dries your hair. He wraps the same towel around your shoulders, pulling you in for quick kiss before sitting you back down on the toilet.

“I’m assuming you’re staying purple.” Sirius murmurs, emptying the tube of dye into another bowl.

“You assume correct, sir.” You laugh, “It’s only my roots that need touching up and I’m not in any rush to change this colour. Let’s do your strand first, that way I don’t use too much on my hair.”

Sirius chuckles, but lets you apply the dye to his now freshly bleached lock. He watches you in the mirror; your tongue peaks out of your mouth as you focus on making sure his hair is entirely covered.

Once you’ve finished with his strand, he works his way around your head, painting the purple dye onto your lighter roots.

Idle conversation is made through this; plans for the weekend, whether Remus was finally going to ask the girl at the coffee shop out – he had been pining over her for two months now, it was time he did something, you felt, and Sirius agreed with a smile.

He leans back against the sink and crosses his arms as the dye develops on your hair. The conversation continues, and by the time you need to wash the dye, you’ve come up with a plan to get Remus to ask out the girl from the coffee shop. Sirius thinks that it’s an extravagant plan but he’s happy to go along with it as it’s your plan, and he’d go to the ends of the earth for you.

By the end of the afternoon, you had both finished with the dyes, happy with the final result. Your hair had returned to its bright purple, no root showing to lessen the effect and Sirius was happy with the singular purple streak now running through his hair.

He didn’t think he would ever change his hair, but he realises that there isn’t a lot that he wouldn’t do for you. He tucks his hair behind his ear, liking the way the purple sits with his dark-brown-almost-black hair. He chuckles to himself as he thinks of how his mother and father would react to see his hair like this.

The Marauders don’t notice a thing until Sirius ties his hair up around them. Then they see the bright purple streak behind his ear.

“Sirius,” James gasps, “You let (Y/N) touch your hair… but no-one is allowed to touch your hair.”

“(Y/N) is.” Sirius states in a matter-of-fact tone, “I wouldn’t trust you lot with my hair even if you paid me.”

“Ha bloody ha.” Remus laughs, “What made you decide to do this?”

Sirius shrugs, “I wanted to match.”

James looks at Sirius with his mouth open, “That is possibly the sweetest bloody thing I’ve ever heard.”

Sirius rolls his eyes. “Seriously,” James continues, “I want that. Do you think (Y/N) would bleach a section of my hair and dye it red to match Lily’s?”

Remus laughs at James, “How do you think Lily would respond to that?”

James shrugs, a glint of mischief alive in his eyes, “I don’t know but I’m willing to try.”

Sirius chuckles, “I’ll talk to (Y/N) and see what can be done.”

James beams, thinking of Lily’s reaction, “Sweet, thanks mate.”

--------

Sirius is still thinking of James’ idea when he falls onto the couch next to you hours later.

“How are the lads?”

“James wants you to bleach his hair like mine and dye it red for Lily.”

You gasp, “With their wedding this close? I’m not risking my maid of honour title for that man.”

“I told him you’d think about it, but I’ll let him know it’s a definite no.”

You lean into Sirius’ side, “Maybe for their first anniversary – where Lily can’t kill me.”

“What do you think then? Do you like the colour?”

Sirius hums as your finger curls around the coloured lock of his hair. He catches your hand in his, bringing it to his lips. He nips one of your knuckles before kissing the back of your hand.

“I do, but I have something to ask you.”

“And that is?”

His eyes shine bright as he asks, “What colour is next?”

*********

General (HP) taglist: @chaotic-fae-queen @obsessedwithrandomthings @harrypotter289 @dreamer821 @kalimagik @heloisedaphnebrightmore @nebulablakemurphy @the-hufflefluffwriter @figlia--della--luna @bforbroadway @idont-knowrn @summer-writes​

Sirius Black taglist: @approved-by-dentists @fific7​

[harpyloon]

little red

Pairing: Harry Potter x Ginny Weasley (BUT this is more of a Ginny Weasley and Sirius Black friendship HC if you will)

Summary:  “Excuse me, but I care what happens to Sirius as much as you do!” said Ginny, her jaw set so that her resemblance to Fred and George was suddenly striking. - Chapter 33: Fight and Flight (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

Warnings: Small battle scene, minor mentions of blood and injuries, small mentions of death... I think that’s about it? Mostly fluff and humor.

Word Count: 6.8k+ (oops)

A/N: hello! This is my first time posting an HP fic here so I hope you'll be kind! This idea has been an itch in my brain I've been wanting to scratch ever since I re-read OOTP. It's mostly canon apart from the ending (y'all know what ending I'm talking about lol). Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!

Order of the Phoenix missing moments

Read on AO3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sirius always knew. He thinks he's known from the very beginning, but even more so when he chanced upon her creeping down the rickety stairs of Grimmauld Place—clutching a hand full of round mud brown pellets that looked all too familiar—with a mischievous glint in her eyes and lips pursed in strict concentration. With as little noise as she could possibly yield, she made it to the bottom of the second landing, eyeing the offending door with the equally offending Silencing Charms casted to muffle whatever it was the "children" were not allowed to hear.

Leaning over the bannister to get a good view of her target, her fiery red mane tumbled over one shoulder like a curtain, concealing half of her determined face from Sirius who was gazing up at the show with amusement; he was suddenly in no hurry to get back to the meeting that was getting fouler by the day. Although the sounds were muffled, he knew exactly how riled up everyone was behind that door, the very reason he had to step out in the first place.

Fighting in the first war, Sirius knew that every moment for members of the Order of the Phoenix was as good as their last. "We might as well seal our deaths," James's voice echoed through his thoughts at the distant memory of him and his friends officially joining the Order that one bleak winter evening. He could still feel Lily's grip on both his and James's hands as she sat between the two, not once glancing at anyone as Dumbledore spelled out every possible danger being a member of the Order would entail.

"Might as well," Lily breathed out and looked at Dumbledore straight in the eye, "Count us in."

Dumbledore didn't need to look at the rest of the gentleman for approval. Lily might have been James's woman, but whatever Lily Evans said the Marauders always followed.

Almost always.

"Ah, crud."

Sirius is yanked back into the dreary hall of Grimmauld Place, just as a putrid ball of manure bounces off the charmed kitchen door and zooms past the cobwebby chandelier, straight for his startled face. Times like these made Sirius truly grateful for his canine instincts, as he stepped aside just in the nick of time.

The mud brown ball splattered onto a worn-out tapestry, right beside the large troll’s leg umbrella stand.

"Oops."

He glanced back up at Ginny Weasley who was grinning sheepishly down at him from the second landing, "Sorry, Sirius."

"Good aim," said Sirius, winking up at her, "Although I believe your mother has the door Imperturbed, little red."

Ginny scrunched up her nose and it reminded him too much of another red head he knew, "That's no good. Well if Dungbombs won’t work then it's a long shot for Fred and George's Extendable Ears."

Sirius quirked an eyebrow, "Extendable Ears?"

Ginny waved a hand, "Eavesdropping contraptions they made up over the summer—" she stopped short and eyed Sirius warily, "Will you tell? Because if mum finds out, you didn't hear it from me."

Sirius grinned. As if anyone would expect Sirius Black, 1/4 of the Marauders, to ever tattle about anyone's mischief. "Bound me by oath, I shall tell no living soul."

Ginny sighed in relief and tucked her hair behind her ears, leaning over the bannister even further. If Sirius didn't catch the tips of her shoes hooked through the railing, he'd be afraid she'd fall flat on her face.

"What are you doing out here?" she inquired curiously, "That door may be Imperturbed but I'm almost positive I heard yelling."

"Precisely why I'm not in there," he sighed and glanced at the kitchen door. He didn't feel like going back inside the chaos at all.

"Really?" Ginny looked even more interested than she was a minute ago. "Don't tell me it's boring?"

Sirius nearly scoffed, "No, little red. Quite the contrary. But being in a room discussing plans for a war you cannot participate in can get quite stale."

He grimaced at his own tone. Sirius wanted to stop feeling sorry for himself, truly and largely through with all the pitiful stares Remus kept sending his way (although discreet) every time Dumbledore so much as shrugged off his requests at lending a hand (or paw) to anything the Order might need. He knew he was being overbearing, which was the last thing he wanted to make anybody feel with his presence. Although being stuck in his wicked mother's house filled with nothing but forbidding memories did no good to his sanity or his morals. He glanced back up at Ginny who was chewing on her bottom lip, deep in thought.

"Anyway, little red, up you go before your mother finds ou—"

"Wanna play Quidditch?"

Sirius blinked.

"Quidditch?"

"I need to practice."

"Trying out for the team are you?" he asked.

Ginny shrugged, "I think Ron wants to have a go, but he's always been Keeper. Just staying on my toes in case Angelina needs a new Chaser this year."

"Chaser, eh?" said Sirius smiling. "Was Keeper myself back in the old days. James, however, was—"

"Chaser, I know. I also knew you were Keeper," said Ginny impatiently. "So do you want to play?"

Sirius peered curiously up at her once again. He wasn't sure even his own godson knew of his Quidditch history. "How did you know I was Keeper?"

Now Ginny had the nerve to look shameful.

"I've been walking past the Trophy room on the third floor to all my classes since first year," she blushed, "Charms was always fun. Professor Flitwick never really minded if I took too long in the loo."

Her embarrassment ebbed when she saw Sirius's proud grin.

"Anyway, all the Gryffindor teams over the years are listed on the Quidditch board," she said.

"And you have them memorized?"

She ignored him. "So? Will you help me practice? Or were you no good?"

Her eyes held a glint of a challenge and was filled with outpouring mischief Sirius hadn't felt in years.

Dreadful meeting forgotten, he asked, "And where do you propose we are to practice? I've played quite a few years to know we need more than a grimy hallway to fly, little red."

Ginny's eyes were filled with mirth, "I know just the place."

 ----—-----

 Ginny Weasley was a fantastic flyer. Her small but built frame made her agile and quick enough to score a couple (more than a couple) past Sirius, who, admittedly, was rusty on a broom, but could neither deny the fact that the girl was akin to a zapping ball of flame, whizzing past him zealously.

The small alcove behind Grimmauld Place (that Sirius previously remembered to be a dump for old furniture the Black family disposed of ) was cleared and mowed into a backyard of sorts; although the grass was a dying shade of brown, weeds scattered the soil, and the lone shrub by the fence seemed to be in its last breath.

"Mum had Bill and I clear it out just in case the kitchen got too full," explained Ginny. "But nobody's used it yet, and we've still got room. Mad Eye had the surroundings Disillusioned so we can fly as high as the attic."

Sirius spent the next couple of weeks training with Ginny on a Comet Two Sixty they borrowed from Tonks. It was the highlight of his days, superbly scheduled right after Order meetings. An angry Sirius coming out of the kitchens to practice was something Ginny looked forward to (and often hoped, although she'd never admit), only because he wouldn't have the mind to hold out on blocking her Quaffles— almost saving every attempt she had at a perfect goal. There were days when the twins and Ron would come out for a match, three-on-two, and Sirius would give Ron tips on how to Keep.

“You’re fast,” he told Ginny at one point, trying to catch his breath after her third goal of the day; the Quaffle zoomed behind his broom and into the makeshift goal post after her clever diversion of swerving around his front. She raised her eyebrows at him as if to say Duh. He rolled his eyes.

“Have you ever considered Seeking?” he inquired.

“Seeking?” she frowned. “Nope. Never. Besides, that position’s not up in the air anytime soon anyway.”

The perpetual loneliness was in no hurry to crawl back into Sirius's mind. Out of all the members of the Order (children included), it was Ginny Weasley (apart from his godson) who made him feel the most welcomed into the world once again; treated humanely, and not some fugitive on the run. She even managed to find the time to occasionally rally him with a game of Exploding Snap.

One particular night that summer, Molly walked in the living room carrying a tray of sandwiches which she set down beside the two.

"Would you know where the extra sheets are, Sirius?" asked Molly, "I need to prepare Harry's bed for tomorrow."

Sirius doesn't miss the way Ginny paused the slightest, then carried on with playing a card down. He swiftly taps the top card with his wand, his opponent only seconds behind. He grins at her cheekily. She missed.

"That point was mine thank you— Ah yes, Molly, of course. I'll have Kreacher bring the sheets up to Ron and Harry's room."

"Harry's arriving, mum?" asked Ginny behind her cards, seeming as though she was deciding which one to play next.

But Sirius could register her unfocused eyes.

"Mad Eye and the rest are leaving at dusk tomorrow. You best tell Hermione and Ron as well. Like twitching worms those two are, can't stop asking when Harry'll be arriving," Molly sighs wistfully, "My poor boy."

Although he hadn't been in the best moods with Molly these days, Sirius couldn't help but grasp her hand to give it a light squeeze.

"No need to worry, Molly. You know Mad Eye. He'll be very thorough."

"Oh, I suppose you're right," said Molly, squeezing Sirius's hand back and reached out to rake her fingers through her daughter's hair.

"Not tired yet, Ginerva? You spent the whole afternoon flying," she looked back at Sirius reproachingly.

He merely shrugged with a small smile.

"I'll sleep when I beat him," said Ginny, finally looking up from her cards.

"Fat chance, Weasley," said Sirius.

Molly sighed tiredly. "Oh why do I even bother," she grumbled as she gathered the empty mugs on the coffee table and walked back into the kitchen.

"Love you, mum!" Ginny yelled after her mother as she grabbed a sandwich on the tray and started nibbling.

"You haven't drawn," she said with a frown.

Looking from the cards piled on the floor and back to the ones she held, "It's your turn. Go draw."

But Sirius didn't draw.

He gazed at his cards instead, as if concentrating hard.

"So," he spoke casually, "my godson will finally be gracing us with his presence. About time."

Ginny didn't answer.

He looked up from his cards to see her shuffling with her own, mumbling to herself.

"I suppose you two are friends?" he asked.

"Hmm? Oh yeah— er — well, sort of..." she trailed off, clearly having no intention to confirm nor deny.

Sirius waited two beats before realizing she wasn't going to elaborate, "Sort of?" He never really saw much of Ginny around the trio while he tailed them restlessly in dog form through Harry's third year.

"Aren't you going to draw?" she snapped irritably, making a show of how annoyed she was that he was interrupting their game.

"Are you?" he spoke slowly, "Friends with my godson?"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "I heard you the first time."

"But you haven't answered."

"I have! I said yes!"

"Actually, you said 'sort of'."

"Well, I meant 'yes'!" Ginny huffed indignantly, her ears were turning pink. "Are we still playing or not?"

"Fred said you never talked around him," he said casually.

At this remark, blood swiftly rushed to her cheeks and her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Did he now?"

Sirius no longer bothered to hide his grin.

"George said you fancy him even."

Ginny was so red, her freckles were more prominent than ever before. She seemed to be debating whether or not to abandon their game and flee to the safety of her room, or abandon their game to run off and hex her tattle tale twin brothers.

"For your information," she finally spoke, swallowing a lump in her throat before proceeding, "I used to fancy him a little bit. Not anymore, not for a very long time now actually."

“Oh?”

“Over him. Done. Moved on.”

A pair of cards exploded between them, emitting red and orange sparks.

“You’ve done it now,” groaned Ginny. She glanced up at Sirius whom she saw was smiling knowingly at her, his cards abandoned.

“You know what?” she said, “I’m going to bed. Good night, Sirius.”

“Oh come on,” he laughed as she gathered the cards and neatly put them away in a box, “Is Harry that bad? Can’t be as bad as James can he? That git never had the balls to man up to Lily until our 7th yea—"

“I’m seeing someone,” Ginny announced suddenly, which shut Sirius up quickly.

“Seeing someone?” he blinked up at her as she stood from the carpeted floor where they sat and began to gather the cushions around her.

“Yes. Michael Corner. He’s in Ron and Harry’s year, but in Ravenclaw. He's cute. We met at the Yule Ball and been writing at the start summer,” she had a small smile as she mentioned their exchange of letters, as if she had a nice little secret tucked inside her pocket.

Sirius’s brain, however, seemed to have stopped working.

Michael Corner?

His godson was losing a battle to a boy who did his homework? And who maybe even enjoyed it?

"Although I haven't heard from him since we moved here. Can't owl to him now either," she said with a frown, as if she didn't like the thought. "Maybe I should ask Dad to check if I've got post at the Burrow..."

Sirius's head continued to spin at the outrageous thought, but he looked at Ginny calmly.

“Yule Ball, eh? A dancing chap then,” he swallowed the profanities doing somersaults in his brain. “So, a Ravenclaw...”

Ginny eyed him warily, “That’s right.”

He forced an excited grin, “Splendid! Does he play Quidditch? Bet we can invite him over sometime.”

Impossible, Sirius thought. First of all, he was still a fugitive. He reckoned Michael Corner wouldn’t want to be tossing Quaffles with a man who escaped Azkaban; and second, wanted or not, he didn't think he’d ever let Harry get away with letting a girl like Ginny escape from his fingers. He didn’t let James cower away, he sure won’t let Harry either.

He heard her sigh and focused on keeping his face devoid of any inner turmoil.

“He doesn’t play Quidditch," said Ginny.

DOESN’T PLAY QUIDDI—

“Doesn’t play Quidditch?” Sirius raised an eyebrow, keeping his tone neutral. “Interesting.”

What’s she going to do with a bloke who doesn’t play bloody Quidditc—

“So what does he do?” he clears his throat, “in his spare time? Any hobbies?” He seriously should consider an acting career once his name got cleared.

Wrapping the quilt she was sitting on around her shoulders and balancing the tray of sandwiches her mother left on her hip, Ginny pursed her lips at Sirius and huffed, “Nothing that would concern you, Mr. Sirius Black. After all, what other hobbies did you have back in the old days? Other than stirring up trouble?”

She gathered the trail of her quilt with her spare hand and started walking towards the stairs, up to the bedrooms.

“Oh, come on, little red!” said Sirius exasperatedly, “What did I say? Tell me more about Michael Corner! What does he do? What sort of lot does he hang out with?”

He blanched at a sudden thought, gaping at her retreating back in horror.

“Michael Corner doesn’t hang out with Madam Pince does he?”

Ginny trudges up the stairs and doesn’t look back, but her steps progressed louder and heavier.

“If you stop saying his name like that, maybe I’ll think about answering your questions!” she growled and was out of sight.

 ----—----

  Dear Padfoot,

You were right! I did get Seeker! But only because Harry received a lifetime Quidditch ban from Umbridge. I’m sure you’ve heard. That old hag. Fred and George got banned too. I wasn’t supposed to tryout till next year, but Angelina was desperate. You should’ve seen her face. Nearly close to tears every time I see her at breakfast.

I’m sorry you can’t floo anymore. I kept everyone out of the common room the last time. Pavarti left her Herbology homework by the fire but I convinced her to pick it up in the morning instead. I also told the Creeveys that the house elves were cleaning out the common room that night. Nobody wanted to bother them and welcome a bad breakfast. I hope you got to talk to Harry enough. If that old toad didn’t barge in, I’m sure he would’ve told you more about the D.A.

He’s a really good teacher Harry. REALLY good. He reminds me a lot of Remus, the way he teaches. Did you know he can produce a corporeal Patronus? I’ve known of course, from Ron, but seeing it up close was bloody brilliant. You’d be proud. Especially since his Patronus is a stag. Didn’t you say his dad was Prongs?

He’s also seeing this girl, Cho Chang. She’s nice. Very pretty. A Ravenclaw. She plays Quidditch as well. I guess we both have a thing for Ravenclaws? She always cries though, I’ve noticed. It must be hard for her, dealing with Cedric’s death. They were a thing before he died you see. I hope she doesn’t make Harry too sad at least. He’s been looking a lot gloomy these days. Always BROODING. And don’t get me started on his temper.

Anyway, this will likely be my last letter before Christmas. They don’t bother monitoring my owls as much as they do Harry, Ron, and Hermione’s, but it’d be best if you didn’t write back till after the holidays. Hopefully I see you for Christmas. I’ve already got you a present.

Don’t go sulking around too much!

With love,

Ginny

 ----—----

 Never in her life has Ginny ever seen Harry Potter as broken and desolate as he was now, right before her eyes. That is to say she's seen quite a bit of his dismal days. But it was nothing like this. Although, of course, she knew she couldn't feel the extent of his pain, but pain she still felt; the hollow ache in her chest reverberated, first through her arms, paving way for gooseflesh to rise up to the very tips of her fingers, then down her legs and she felt her knees wobble desperately, as if they were telling her, We can carry you no longer.

With her sprained ankle and failing knees, she gripped the bed post nearest her so tightly it croaked beneath her weight. She watched as Harry did his very best to stand back helplessly and watch the healers fuss around Sirius's frail and pale body, casting stabilizing charms and fixing various droughts by the bed where he lay in the Hogwarts hospital wing.

It almost hit him.

Ginny whimpered at the memory of waking to Sirius's barking voice echo through the Department of Mysteries. Despite her busted ankle, she dragged herself up and registered Luna and Hermione passed out cold, while Ron struggled through the binding tentacles of thought wheeling out of the brain that held him captive. Neville and Harry were nowhere to be found.

"RON!" she yelled at her brother, who seemed to have finally snapped out of the laughing jinx he was in. "Hold still—"

"I HATE BRAINS!" screamed Ron. He managed to have pierced a tentacle with the tip of his wand and the bindings around his torso pulsated, as if the brain yelped in pain although no sound came out.

"GINNY, NOW!"

"Diffindo!"

The brain's tentacles weren't severed as Ginny would have hoped, but it weakened its hold on Ron most definitely that he succeeded in wiggling his way out.

"I've got it," mumbled Ron when she bent down to reach for him, "It might get you too." He finally kicked the tentacles of thought away and it trembled furiously on the cold floor, flashes of memories fluctuating.

Both siblings were panting heavily as they paused to catch their breaths. Ron's right knee jutted out in an odd angle that didn't look particularly natural. He shifted his weight to his left backside, scanned the room, and spotted Hermione lying across the room from him with her eyes wide open. His face paled.

"Hermione," whispered Ron weakly.

Ginny glanced over at her and Luna's lying forms.

"They're stunned," she said. "We need to get them back to school. We all need to get out of here."

She wouldn't have known if Ron heard her for his eyes were fixed solely on Hermione, but he gave a quick nod, "Yeah we—," his eyes suddenly darted around, searching, then he looked back at Ginny in panic.

"Where's Neville?" his eyes were filled with fear, "Where's Harry?"

A deep booming yell echoed from the open door, and Ron's face first scrunched up in confusion, then suddenly turned to a hopeful expression.

"Is that— is that Moody I hear?" his voice was almost weepy.

"Yes," said Ginny, struggling back up on one foot. "And I think I heard Sirius too."

She tried helping her brother up to his feet but to no avail. His right knee was most definitely not okay.

"I'm going to get help," she said. "Stay here and look after the others."

Ron looked like he was about to protest but swallowed the argument quickly. "Wait—" he quickly glances at Hermione then at Ginny's angry and swollen ankle, "you can barely walk."

"Compared to you I can," she said and winced as she shifted her weight. "Look after the others."

Ron swallowed painfully but nodded, his eyes finding Hermione again. No one would dare doubt Ginny's hexing skills, but as the older brother it was instinct to worry.

"Hurry back, yeah?"

Ginny stared at her youngest brother and felt her heart swell almost as much as her throbbing ankle (the pain intensifying to the point of numbness, which made it easier to ignore). People always thought it was Bill that she favored the most among her brothers, them being particularly close as the eldest and youngest. But while their closeness was unquestionable, there was one brother whom Ginny revered the most. Sheer—although closeted—admiration.

Ron always wore his heart on his sleeve, no matter how much he tried to clam it up—which Ginny admired profusely, if not envied at times. While he regularly complained under his breath about the state of poverty their family lived in, his face often falling behind his mother's back whenever he found out he'd be inheriting something of his older brothers' (like Charlie's old set of school robes instead of getting fresh, personally tailored ones from Madam Malkin's)—it was exactly this that made him all the more benign.

It was Ron who always lent Ginny his hand-me-down broom after an afternoon of spitting out tantrums all over the Burrow when her other brothers refused to let her play along, Ron who merely huffs in annoyance every time she barges in his room, plopping down on his bed as she talked his ear off—though he let her anyway; Ron who was just so selfless despite all his lamenting, never thinking twice about giving.

You're my hero, Ron, Ginny thought to herself as she gave her brother a nimble nod.

"Wand out," she cautioned him, and he snorted.

"I'll give those Death Eaters a Bat-Bogey hex in your honor."

Ginny had to swallow back her tears. She didn't know why she was getting emotional at this point. Perhaps it was the thought of death not very far from where they stood, as Death Eaters swarmed the Ministry. She pointed her wand to his knees to distract him from the glassy sheen forming in her eyes.

"Ferula."

Bandages spun up Ron's leg, strapping it tightly to a splint. He winced as they secured themselves and then he heaved a grateful sigh. "Thanks. Hold out yours."

Ankle patched and throbbing dulled to a minimum, Ginny limped out of the Brain Room, wand out and ready.

If Sirius and the others are here, we'll be alright, she thought, fighting down the growing panic that if the Death Eaters didn't get to him first, the Ministry would capture him instantly. He was, after all, still a mass murderer on the lose. She refused to think about Harry, who was god-knows-where, probably being impulsive and angry and careless with a helpless Neville on his toes.

Ginny evaded all abhorrent thoughts and swiped traitorous tears from her cheeks angrily.

He has to be okay. They all have to be.

She headed straight to the only other door still open, the one through which the Death Eaters themselves had come. Gripping the frame tightly as she fought through the pain on her ankle, she saw—to her horror—Mad-Eye lying on his side in the middle of the room by the dais, bleeding from the head, his magic eye spinning across the floor near a paralyzed Dolohov; Kingsley was swaying across her field of vision, battling with a now mask-less Rookwood, and she saw Remus, who had successfully disarmed Lucius Malfoy.

Her eyes scanned the room in panic, but was suddenly swept with utmost relief at the sight of Harry and Neville hobbling up the stone steps towards her.

Ginny stopped the scream from bubbling out of her throat, noticing the glass spherical prophecy tightly clutched by Neville's hand, not wanting to draw attention to them any further.

“Come on!” she heard Harry cry desperately, hauling at Neville’s robes. “Just try and push with your legs —”

Something hot like liquid heat was suddenly melting down Ginny's ankle. She looked down to see that the bandages Ron had given her were glowing a deep purple. It's not the bandages, she realized, it's my foot— the glowing stopped.

What the—

"It won't last, Ms. Weasley, but it'll do long enough."

Ginny turned, wand raised, to see Albus Dumbledore standing behind her, his own wand equally aloft, his face white and furious. She felt a kind of electric charge surge through every particle of her body—they were saved.

"Professor," she stammered, "I—"

"Mr. Longbottom is in need of your assistance, dear one," Dumbledore said with no preamble. "Go. The spell on your ankle won't last long."

She wasted no time.

Running down the stone steps, she ran into Neville, clutched him by the arm, and he almost sagged on top of her completely if it weren't for Harry holding him up.

"Ginny!" Harry looked at her in panic. "Where's Ron?"

"He's fine," she panted, hitching one of Neville's arms over her shoulders, "They're all fine. Harry, listen. Dumbledo—"

Announcing his presence was futile, she realized, as screams of fury suddenly rang throughout the chamber.

All three of them turned back to see one of the Death Eaters running for it, scrabbling like a monkey up the stone steps opposite. Dumbledore’s spell pulled him back as easily and effortlessly as though he had hooked him with an invisible line.

Only one couple were still battling, apparently unaware of the new arrival. Ginny saw Sirius duck Bellatrix’s jet of red light: He was laughing at her. “Come on, you can do better than that!” he yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room.

The second jet of light barely missed his head. Sirius staggered backwards in shock. Ginny saw Bellatrix's face erupt into a triumphant smile as she raised her wand, pointing straight for his chest—

She heard Harry yell to her right but she had no more time to think, adrenaline and desperation pumping through her veins. She grabbed the prophecy from Neville who's grip had slackened in fright. This is way lighter than a Quaffle, a voice spoke in the back of her head as she let go of Neville, though unaware of doing so, shifted her weight back for a split second and released the glass orb with all her might, aiming for the space between Sirius and the tip of Bellatrix's wand.

"Avada Kedavra!"

It almost hit him

The jet of green light flashed through Ginny's memory, colliding with the the spherical orb of the prophecy instead of Sirius's chest, although its force was so strong that it knocked him off his feet, he passed out cold on the Death Chamber floor....

"Ginerva? Ginerva, dear, I told you to lie back down— Oh, my sweet," Madam Pomfrey's voice shook her out of her painful daze. She was back in the hospital wing, hand numb from clutching the bed post so tightly; the pain from her ankle was making her dizzy that she didn't realize the tears pouring out of her eyes.

"Is," she sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeve messily, "is he going to be—"

"The healers are doing everything they can," Madam Pomfrey murmured quietly although her face was grim. "Let me have a look at your—"

"I'm okay," said Ginny stubbornly. She wouldn't move an inch farther away from Harry and Sirius than she already was.

"Ginny, I swear if you don't let Madam Pomfrey look at your leg I'll hex you myself," she heard Ron growl, although tiredly, from the bed behind her. "There's nothing you can do just lie back down."

Ginny gritted her teach so hard they almost hurt as much as everything else. She stared at Sirius's lying form helplessly from afar, then shifted her eyes back to Harry who now had a tired-looking Remus guarding him from shaking his godfather awake.

She gave a defeated sigh and let the school matron lead her to bed, sleep consuming her instantly no matter how hard she fought it.

 ----—----

 It's been almost a week. A week. And Sirius still hasn't woken.

Ginny was finally discharged after four days; Madam Pomfrey casted final charms to fully mend her ankle and prescribed her with the Potion for Dreamless Sleep to help her with her shock and nightmares.

Ron and Neville had to stay for two more nights, and Hermione for another week—the curse Dolohov had used on her, though less effective than it would have been had he been able to say the incantation aloud (Hermione had cast a Silencing Charm on him before he attacked), had nevertheless caused, in Madam Pomfrey’s words, “quite enough damage to be going on with.” Hermione was having to take ten different types of potion every day and although she was improving greatly, was already bored with the hospital wing.

This gave Ginny every excuse to drop by everyday without fail. She brought everyone Honeydukes sweets, some pastries from Dobby, and fresh flowers for Sirius's bedside. She's also piled his stash of Pumpkin Pasties so much that she heard one of the healers attending to him scoff in disdain.

"If the rebound curse won't kill him, those sweets will, deary," said the healer in disapproval.

But Ginny didn't care, of course, she merely hid the stash under his bed, away from prying eyes. He would thank her when he woke up. For a laugh (more for her than anyone, really), she also hoarded volumes of The Quibbler from Luna, specifically the editions flooded with speculations of Sirius being the innocent singing sensation Stubby Boardman, lead of the band The Hobogoblins.

"You have to wake up now," she told his sleeping form, making sure to sound as miffed as she possibly could. Dumbledore said that talking to him might help, although she suspected he only said so for Ginny's sake. She sat on the edge of his bed one Hogsmeade morning. She barely went anywhere besides the hospital wing these days—despite Dean Thomas's efforts in coaxing her a trip to the Three Broomsticks. "You haven't even seen me play Seeker, Stubby, what happens when your godson takes it back next term?"

But she was only met with Sirius's steady breathing. Which was a good thing, at least is what the healers from St. Mungo's said. The collision that the Killing Curse and the prophecy made was enough to block the curse's intentions, but was able to emit some kind of stunning aftermath, knocking Sirius out cold. She remembered when they all thought him dead, Harry shaking with fury as he dashed out of the Death Chamber after Bellatrix Lestrange.

"You should've seen him, Stubby," she whispered, her eyes roaming all over Sirius's pale, gaunt face. "He looked like he would've killed for you."

She thought she saw a hitch in his breathing, a change so subtle that she held her own. But the following breaths after that were as steady as it had bin, making her convince herself it was only her hopeful imagination.

"Ginny?"

She was so focused on studying Sirius's breathing that she didn't hear privacy curtain open behind her.

Harry Potter, skinny, pale, and hair mussed up as ever, stood awkwardly by the foot of his godfather's bed, his hands holding a bowl of what smelled like onion soup with sides of sliced bread. His glasses were askew and misty from the spring wind and he looked like he just shimmied out of bed and put on the first jumper he saw, because he was wearing one with a big 'R' on his chest.

It was then that Ginny realized that she hasn't seen much of Sirius's godson in the long period that he's been lying in the hospital wing. Every time she visited, even when the others were still around, Harry would've already left to god-knows-where, or she would have had classes and missed running into him. Even sightings in the common room or at the Great Hall were rare.

It's not as if you've been avoiding him, Ginny thought to herself as she stood up to leave, it's just bad timing is all.

"Harry," she smiled at him and nodded at his bowl of soup, "That for the dog?"

He gave out a laugh that made her insides thump erratically. She hasn't seen a smile on his face for so long and she's missed it terribly.

"Yeah," he said with a small smile, and looked at Sirius. "Looks like he's not hungry still."

His smile still held its place but his eyes were almost cheerless.

Crossing her arms dramatically, Ginny turned to glare at the benumbed form before them, "Hear that, Stubby? Your godson's been bringing you breakfast and this is how you repay him?"

Again, they were met with silence and she heard Harry chuckle, "Maybe that'll work," he said, "I've been spitting praises all over to try to get him to wake."

She rolled her eyes, "Don't spoil him," she warned although she smiled fondly down at Sirius, "he might be enjoying it too much."

Harry let out a tiny laugh once again, making her warm all over. She loved seeing him not brooding. It was a rare sight this term, and now that Umbridge was gone, she hoped she'd see more of it.

"Well," she started as she scanned the floor for her book bag, "I'll leave you with the rascal then—"

"You don't have to leave," said Harry and she looked up at him to meet his alarmed gaze. "Really, Ginny I—," he stammered, "you don't have to go."

Ginny stared at him worryingly, "Are you sure? You don't have any secrets to talk about?"

He chuckled, "Yes. I mean no. No—we— I have no secrets," he was surely flushing now, and Ginny sniggered.

"Well alright then," she said, hoisting herself back up on the edge of Sirius's bed. "Is that onion soup I smell? Haven’t had breakfast."

Harry sighed with relief and rounded the bed, grabbing two spoons from his godfather's bedside drawer and sagged down the chair beside Ginny's legs. They sipped the onion soup in silence for a few minutes before Harry cleared his throat and glanced up at her.

"I—," his face was red and she was sure it was because of the soup, "I never got to thank you."

Ginny raised her eyebrows at him questioningly before slurping loudly from her spoon. Harry burst out laughing.

She grinned cheekily at him, legs swinging back and forth on the edge of the bed, "What for?"

He shook his head, "What do you mean 'what for?' You saved Sirius."

It was Ginny’s turn to look embarrassed. Seeing as this was the first time they were actually talking about what happened at the Ministry (the first time talking at all after the Ministry), the subject of the prophecy that Ginny so careless sent flying (quite literally) was never mentioned, not even by the others. She didn't think anybody even knew about it—apart from Harry and Neville and other members of the Order present in the Death Chamber. She had little thought for it, all her worries focused on her friends and her brother getting better.

"Barely," replied Ginny, shrugging nonchalantly at the boy in front of her. "To be honest, I could've thrown something more durable," Harry laughed at this, "but balls are the only thing I'm good at aiming with and that was the closest thing." She frowned after a thought, "To be honest, I wasn't thinking at all."

Harry shook his head again and looked at her with something she could've described as awe, "Well I'm glad you didn't think," he said and a hint of despair flashed in his eyes, although quickly appeased. "I don't even want to think about what would've if you did."

They were quiet for a moment, both now focused on Sirius's rhythmic breathing. Ginny chanced a deceitful glance at the boy she so perplexingly pined for for so long. She couldn't deny that her fourth year in Hogwarts drastically changed now that Harry was more to her than just her brother's best friend. She could actually call him her friend. She couldn't believe it took her this long to woman up and finally start talking around him, realizing how much of an awkward bloke he was.

Well, I won't miss out on you anymore, Harry Potter.

She smiled wistfully at the fact that his hair was as unkept as ever, not realizing that her own hand was reaching out in a foolish attempt to tame it...

"Hey, I was thinking!"

Ginny gave a startled jump, Harry's voice slicing through her shameful haze, and reared back her hand so fast that her elbow hit Sirius's knee.

"OW," she yelped, clutching her joint closely.

"Wha— are you okay?"

"What in the—what is this man made of? Steel?" She rubbed her elbow, wincing, and hoped Harry took no notice of her mortifying intentions.

He merely laughed, "No, I don't reckon Sirius is much of a Superman."

"A super what?"

His eyes were full of amusement as he gazed a Ginny's disgruntled face. "Never mind. Listen, what do you think about trying out for Chaser next year?"

She blinked at him.

"Chaser?"

Harry blushed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah I mean—er—I know you're Seeker now," Ginny was smirking now, "but uh, you have really good aim and— well, that's not saying you're not a good Seeker already. I mean— I don't even know if next year's Captain will take me back in if—"

Before Ginny could stop herself, she grabbed a piece of uneaten bread from the meal they just shared and flicked it straight for Harry's face.

It hit him square in between his eyebrows, nudging his round glasses even more askew.

His expression was priceless.

She laughed boisterously at his stunned look. He was gawking at her.

"That aim good enough for you, Potter?"

It took him a beat to recover, a wide playful grin spreading across his face. "Pretty good, Weasley," he admitted, then tapped on his forehead mockingly, "Could definitely use some practice though, you missed the scar."

Nothing but absurd and ridiculous banter issued after that, their conversation flowing with so much ease, that Ginny swore to herself she would never allow her foolish feelings to keep her from Harry ever again.

And if she wasn't so enamored by his breath-taking laughter, she might have noticed the impish ghost of a smirk from the patient lying on the bed.

[digitalta]

( you probably get these a lot but...here i am)

i've read antithesis about 3 times, i always stopped reading around chapter 66 because it was too painful, but it's one of my favorite works in fanfiction. i convinced my sister to read it (it's like...the second fanfiction she's ever read) and she's absolutely engrossed, and today is the day i finally finished reading this tragic masterpiece. (now there's a void in my heart).

what i mean to say is...thank you (for the angst, for the drama, for the comedy, for everything). i don't know what to say or even how to say it, this is such a humane and tragic story that touched me so much that i can't even formulate a semblance of what i really want to say and what it means to me. so, thank you.

oftentimes i found myself so entranced in your writing that i feel like i didn't register the best pieces of writing and identified what could be some quotes to add to my all time favorites.

by chance, do you have a compilation of antithesis's best quotes or poetic tidbits you can share with us please?

and thank you, really ♡

So, I got this Ask a few days ago, and I’ve been sitting on it and looking at it constantly.

First- no. The number of messages never EVER take away from the meaning behind them. I could receive four messages, or four hundred, and I treasure each and every one. You are an individual with completely unique experiences and views. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, not thrown into a list of messages from nameless people.

Reading the story isn’t easy for some people. It’s all a matter of perspective, and how we can connect with it and how we can hurt from it. I am so proud of you for finishing it, and finding meaning at the end. 

There are...sections? Of the story that I am incredibly proud of. Pointing out quotes from memory is impossible based on the insane length of the fic.

So I tried to find individual portions that meant a lot to me, as an author and writer. I have a style of writing that I started to refine much further in the story, which appears often in the end. Surrealism and lyrical twist that is more akin to poetry than standard literature. Those lines are the ones I’m most proud of.

A few more popular quotes are those I still enjoy.

Truth be told, moments I actually enjoy appear in the middle and towards the end.

Ch. 36: "I could have been raised to kill Potter." Adrian tried again, desperate in his attempt to scare the man.

"You could have been," Remus agreed, with the faintest glimmer of sympathy, "And if you were, I would give you freedom to live away from expectations or requirements. I would give you an opportunity to follow what you want to do, and not what you were raised to do."

"It wasn't your fault Adrian," He repeated carefully, "and I'll tell you that every day for however long it takes for you to realize that. You weren't abandoned because of who you are. It wasn't your fault."

Ch. 37: He had never thought of her as someone with individual dreams and desires, an individual life that everyone would mourn and miss and remember.

She hadn't...she hadn't (or had she always been?) a person, in his eye. She was just an object, a possession of the wrong side…He had left her behind, left her lying in a pool of water too weak to stand or speak. He had turned his back on her and left her on the floor.

Ch. 38: The man's eyes were bulging, his hands were gasping against his torn and butchered chest.

"He is prey," Nagini simplified, "Prey are eaten."The man gasped something wetly, it sounded faintly like a plea.

What had he done. What had he done?

Ch. 40: "I know, I just...I do things on my own." Adrian paused, trying to elaborate but struggling with the words.

"Ah, I know how you feel." Remus smiled slightly, something nostalgic and yet so terribly pained, "We all have our own burdens to carry."

Ch. 40: Luna noticed, and she smiled something soft and sad."You know, I think you'd be a wonderful thestral.”

Ch. 44: She turned, opening her mouth and displaying saliva and venom soaked teeth, as long as dinner plates, "And do you, Cerastes, have anything to your name that make others cower? Or are you a hatchling child who dreams of prey far too large for his teeth."

"That's not true," Adrian shook his head in denial, knowing his face was flushing ugly with his anger. His scars itched and his eyes were burning and his nose was filled with disgusting snot.

"Are you crying?" Barty asked, sounding like he was going to burst out laughing, "as if the Dark Lord would find you useful!"

"Master," Lutain unhooked from Barty's leg, slithering across the distance, "Master that is not true,"

"It is," Adrian swallowed, a lump the size of a walnut was lodged in his throat.

Ch. 45: "That's why you wore this dress." he realized, speaking out loud as the epiphany struck him. "So people would stare at you. Instead of staring at me."

"People always stare at me," Luna offered dismissively, "I'm different and people don't like that. I think it scares them, like thestrals do."

Ch. 46: Luna smiled enchantingly, "Adrian you're good at spells."

"I'm really not," he automatically blurted.

Luna's eyes searched his, flickering from one back to the other, "Why are you arguing? Why do you think you're so...mediocre?"

"Because I am!" Adrian blurted, face feeling warm as he flushed against his will. Luna's spell faded out. She whispered it once more, squinting into his face as if looking for something in particular.

"I don't think you are," She confided, "I think you're brilliant."

Ch. 46: Adrian's throat moved three times as he nervously swallowed, "I...I'm not good enough n-"

"I'm afraid you're going to do something stupid for the approval of someone that doesn't matter." 

Ch 50:  "I tried, but the little demon went savage on Mundungus again, stabbed him with a fork and looked right happy with it." Sirius grimaced.

Ch. 50: "How was your summer?" Luna asked curiously. "You look terrible."

"You know, most times you're supposed to compliment me first." Adrian dryly commented, "It's wonderful to know you're so sweet."

Luna shrugged, "You look like something's eating you."

Ch. 50:  Skylar's jaw flexed, twitching as he refused to look away from the window, "Cedric really...I saw Cedric die. I saw him die, and you saw someone die, right in front of you, years ago."

"I was young," Adrian swallowed, his throat felt dry, "I barely remember it."

Skylar gave a single bark of laughter, bitter and sharp, "You don't- you don't just...just forget about it." 

"Yes you do." Adrian blurted, not even hearing the slightly pained whine in his voice. 

Skylar looked haunted, "I...I remember his eyes. They...Merlin, his eyes."

"I don't think I'll ever forget it," Skylar admitted quietly, "What Cedric looked like. Laying there, on the grass. He, he was just...alive, and then… and then he wasn't."

"It wasn't your fault." Adrian spoke, his voice a hoarse whisper.

Ch. 54: “You’re not unlovable, silly.”

Ch. 56: “I could set this entire room on fire,” Adrian mused quietly. “I could burn this entire house down and kill you. burning people smell a lot like burning meat.”

Sirius realized, that he was afraid. He was quite afraid actually.

Ch 57.: Adrian stilled, pausing as if in thought. He looked at Remus with half lidded eyes, the yellow far too bright to be anything but alarming. "Do you like me, Remus?"

Remus felt as if he was mourning for the loss of something gone, which was impossible. Adrian was right there, but he felt so far away. He felt as if he had changed truly, as if something hideous had condemned him to something so foul, he had accepted it.

"Of course I do," Remus spoke, voice strained and distorted through his distress, "Adrian, you know I do. Why would you ever think I wouldn't?"

Ch. 58: "I thought I was insane." Adrian mused without much emotion, "Disturbed. Psycho. Spastic. Mad. Mental. Thick. Freak." Adrian's body twitched in a small spasm, "Loony." he practically hissed out.

Remus breathed through his nose carefully, "Who called that to you?"

"Nobody," Adrian murmured quietly, "Everyone. They think it, everyone does. Selwyn has a few screws loose. Selwyn is a freak."

Remus gently set aside the comb and scissors. He ignored the few scraps of hair, and instead slid forward slightly so that his weight was a nearby presence for Adrian.

"That isn't even my name," Adrian whined, shaking across his shoulders, "I- I just want to be good."

"You are good, Adrian." Remus assured him, "You're exceptional."

Ch. 60:  "Oh I know," Adrian hummed back, carefree as if truly it was barely of importance, "my life is a tragedy. I think I hadn't cared to truly involve myself to my full capabilities. Now...now with a deadline, I think that It's time for me to step forward."

Ch 60.:  "You love me," Adrian whined out like a dying animal. (Which, he supposed, he was).

Ch. 63: I know what it is like, to be unmade.I know what it is like, to be nothing.And through that, I know I am not.

Ch 64.:  "I'm surprised you never noticed, in all honesty." Adrian mentioned with a wry smile, "after all, professor. I have my mother's eyes."

Ch 65.: For now, all Adrian had was himself.In the sweet smelling heather and deep earthy peat bogs out of sight, in the moonlit shadow of a moss covered mountain which towered over an isolated cobblestone road cut from the mountain itself; Adrian found peace.

Past Chapter 65...honestly, each chapter is filled with absolutely gorgeous one liners. I pulled out small quotes above that I found really stuck out to me, or had some sort of important meaning. It would be impossible to pull out every single quote, basically because it would take so much time.

What’s your favourite?

[runnfromtheak]

hide your soul out of his reach (soldier keep on marchin’ on)

New fic I posted on ao3 already, but I figured I’ll post it here too!!!!

What better for Dumbledore than a child with no sense of self-worth? What better than a child willing to throw his life away for any to show him kindness? What better for Dumbledore than a child who knew no love, burdened with a world of lives he’d value above his own? What better for Dumbledore than a child who lived only to die?

After all, the only difference between a victim and a martyr was how far they were willing to go, and by the time Harry had walked to his death for the final time, he’d had nothing.

“He accused me of being Dumbledore's man through and through."

"How very rude of him."

“I told him I was.”

 -Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

* 

Tom Riddle made him a victim, but Albus Dumbledore made him a martyr.

 His existence has always been defined by tragedy, by death and destruction at a power-hungry creature’s – not man, never man – hands. His earliest memory to this day is colored by a green brighter than his mother’s eyes, voiced by Lily Potter’s begging and then her screams. From the moment that bloody prophecy had been uttered he’d been a target. From the moment Severus Snape betrayed his childhood friend in hopes of saving her, he’d been a casualty. From the moment Voldemort killed his father, the moment he’d ‘marked Harry as his equal’, Harry had been a victim.

He’d survived, saved by love, only to live a loveless life surrounded by hatred and anger for nothing more than breathing.

He’d survived, by virtue of the endless parade of corpses shielding him from his delayed fate, leaving guilt to fester within his heart.

He’d survived, but to some (him), the cost had been too high. He lived with Voldemort in his head, in his soul, with nothing but that haunting green color to remember his parents by.

 “…a power he knows not…”

 Before he could walk or speak, the entire world knew his name. Before he had his first friend, the entire world had a picture-perfect image of the Boy Who Lived – who he was, who he would be, and who he should be.

Nobody expected a knobbly-kneed child half-starved with a cupboard under the stairs as a bedroom. Nobody expected a Slytherin playing at Gryffindor, with the mind of the former and the heart of the latter. Nobody expected him, and that’s why he’d had such a hell of a time making friends.

Real friends, friends who didn’t give a shite about his name and called him out for being a git. Friends who were there in the hard times as well as the easy ones and didn’t run at the first sign of Voldemort.

 At the end of the day, he didn’t have many real friends, as the Second and Fourth Year had made abundantly clear.

 Harry James Potter had all the ‘mates’ a bloke could want, but Harry could count his actual friends on one hand. Because they expected things of him, they each had this image in their head of what he was supposed to do and who he was supposed to be. What magic he was to know and who he was supposed to know.

 To them, he was a hero, a savior, but he’d always viewed himself as a victim.

 By the time he came to Hogwarts, he’d been starved for love more than he was for food, desperate to cling to whatever scraps he could get. He’d needed proof he wasn’t a freak, proof he was important. The absence of parental love or guidance instilled him with a certain abandonment complex, a certain need for approval no one seemed able to satisfy. All he’d wanted was to belong, for someone to care, and that played perfectly into Dumbledore’s plans.

  “Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There’s talent, oh my goodness, yes — and a thirst… to prove yourself, now that’s interesting. . . . So where shall I put you?”

 Malfoy had been cruel, cruel to someone who had only shown Harry kindness, so he turned from that cruelty towards kindness. He’d had enough of cruelty with Aunt Petunia’s indifference and Dudley’s taunts and Uncle Vernon’s rage.

 “Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it’s all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that — no? Well, if you’re sure — better be GRYFFINDOR!”

 Privately, he wonders if Dumbledore would’ve been as approving if he’d been sorted into Slytherin, as the hat had desired. He wonders loads of things about his old mentor, few positive. There’s a wisdom that comes with age, and a bright-eyed first-year fresh from an abusive environment didn’t have the distance eighteen-year-old Harry has.

But Harry hadn’t had that wisdom at eleven, hadn’t had it until seventeen staring into that same green light.

 “…I’m ready to die…”

 He hadn’t known it until he’d stared at the faces of those he loved, those who’d died for him, and Dumbledore never crossed his mind.

 Lily and James Potter, who died in his place the first time (his fault)

Sirius Black, who died to save him (his fight)

Remus Lupin, who died in a battle he prolonged (his war)

 He’d always been Dumbledore’s boy, through and through, but as he faced his destiny, as he faced the end to his suffering and the end of his curse on others…

 “So when the time comes, the boy must die?”

 “Yes…yes. He must die.”

 He realized some things, some lingering questions he’d never been brave enough to voice. Times where he’d thought Dumbledore completely barmy, mad, and never gained any insight on his brilliant plans.

 First-year, where Dumbledore guided him towards Voldemort, towards confrontation, for his destiny.

Second-year, where Dumbledore lied to him to preserve his childhood when he’d already almost died twice.

Third-year, where Dumbledore encouraged him to use the time-turner in place of an adult.

Fourth-year, when he still did not tell Harry his ultimate fate and allowed him to participate in a competition designed for adults that killed hundreds.

Fifth-year, where he kept Harry in the dark until it killed his Godfather, and even still did not reveal the death coming.

Sixth year, where he died and left Harry with a half-baked plan and a suicide mission he didn’t know about.

 He hadn’t had time for anger or grief with the guillotine handing above his neck waiting to drop, the expiration date written in his blood, body, and soul approaching zero. He hadn’t had time to process, which is exactly how Dumbledore would’ve wanted it.

Harry didn’t get a chance to understand anything other than his death, and his role in ending the war.

He’d been raised as a weapon – a sacrifice – gathering the necessary skills under Dumbledore’s careful instructions. Forced into a home that was no home because it left him vulnerable but made him protected. It left him desperate for approval, for Dumbledore’s approval.

 “You’ve kept him alive so he can die at the proper moment… You’ve been raising him like a pig for slaughter.”

 “Don’t tell me now that you’ve grown to care for the boy.”

 Dumbledore gained his trust through mystery, through kindness and distance and the appearance of being more than he was – caring more than he did. He made Harry think he cared, think he valued him, to earn his loyalty. The Dursleys insured Harry had no sense of self-worth, no sense of restraint, and what better than a weapon with no limits?

 From First Year, walking towards Quirrell and what he believed could be his death without hesitation, eyes narrow and trust and faith all he needed to straighten his spine, to every year after it.

He didn’t hesitate, didn’t question.

He’s walked to his death countless times in countless ways, sustained solely by the belief that Dumbledore knew best, and that the information he didn’t know was for his own good.

But then Sirius died, because Harry wasn’t given the right information.

Then Dumbledore took him on missions, still withholding information.

Then Snape revealed the truth, the real truth, with his dying tears

 “He must die… and Voldemort himself must do it. That is essential.”

 Walking to his certain death with eyes wide open and no faith left…

Staring into the creature that killed his parent’s malicious red eyes, watching his lips mouth the incantation Harry knew all too well as the world seemed to still…

 He hadn’t had the time to process what being raised as a weapon meant, to see why Snape had seemed so disgusted at Dumbledore’s words.

 But then, he lived.

 And he watched the memories again and again, until they were seared into his own mind.

 Maybe Dumbledore hadn’t known how the Dursleys would treat him, maybe he hadn’t known how miserable Harry would be…

 Or maybe he had. Aberforth said Dumbledore didn’t know how to view people as opposed to chess pieces, and Snape’s memories showed a colder side of Dumbledore Harry had never seen.

 “What will you give me in exchange, Severus?”

 What better for Dumbledore than a child with no sense of self-worth?

What better than a child willing to throw his life away for any to show him kindness?

What better for Dumbledore than a child who knew no love, burdened with a world of lives he’d value above his own?

What better for Dumbledore than a child who lived only to die?

 After all, the only difference between a victim and a martyr was how far they were willing to go, and by the time Harry had walked to his death for the final time, he’d had nothing.

 No parents, no godfather, no uncle figure, no family.

 Everyone he cared for died, without exception. His death spared many, but his hesitation cost many too.

 His death had been welcome, at that point. The Boy Who Lived had wanted to die, and that had been a difficult pill to swallow.

“Must be difficult to cope without Dumbledore’s favoritism,” Zacharias Smith says with a snort, looking at McGonagall from the Eighth Year table. “Can’t earn points just for breathing anymore.”

 Harry stiffens as the table goes silent, feeling Hermione’s hand clutch his wrist in a death-grip.

 “He doesn’t understand,” she murmurs, tracing patterns into his skin to calm him. “None of them do.”

 Harry grits his teeth, silent.

 “Come off it, Smith,” Ron fires back, “Just because a cowardly ponce like you can’t earn points doesn’t mean there’s favoritism.”

 “Like anyone buys that.” Nott crosses his arms and glares at Harry’s lightning scar. “We all are aware of Dumbledore’s… preferential treatment towards Potter and Gryffindor.”

 “You say that like I bloody well asked for it,” Harry snaps, hissing a little when Hermione’s fingernails dig into his arm. “You don’t know a damn thing about me, so don’t act like you do.”

 “Such a hardship that must be,” Smith fires back, and Hermione releases Harry’s hand with a small gasp as if burned. “Never-ending hero-worship that you don’t even have to ask for—”

 Harry’s burning, he must be, because his skin feels like an inferno and his heart’s beating as fast as it had when he died.

 “I was Dumbledore’s fucking pawn, Smith, that’s why he practically handed us the cup every year! He had me raised by fucking muggles that hated me so I’d be his perfect bloody soldier, his perfect weapon! He wanted me loyal to a fault even if it fucking broke me, to the point where I willingly walked to my death to get it over with!”

 And he stands, pulling away from Hermione and Ron because he just can’t deal with this, and his magic is hard enough to handle when he’s not on the verge of exploding—

 “You, all of you, seem to think that being the Chosen One is something I should be honored to be, that it’s something to want to be! I never fucking wanted to be special! I never wanted to die or to lose my parents and anyone who got too close because some sociopath with no nose said so! I never asked to be Dumbledore’s man, but I was because I trusted the man I knew, and now I don’t because he had me bred to walk to my fucking death! Do you want a walkthrough, Smith, of what the Chosen One actually is?! Do you want me to tell you how I can still hear my mother pleading with Voldemort to not kill me, that I can see her die every time a dementor gets too close?!”

 Smith’s face pales, and he doesn’t have to look at the staff table to feel the Headmistress’s eyes, to see Hagrid’s pity. The fight and the anger and rage leaves him all at once because he’s so tired. He’s tired of the grief and the pain and the suffering. He’s tired of the eyes and the judgment and the condemnation and the praise.

 “He is just a boy!”

But he’s never been just a boy.

 “Do you want me to tell you about the loneliness? About growing up either hailed as a Saint or hated as a madman? Do you want me to tell you what it’s like not being able to trust anyone, because they might use you, or they might betray you to make a quick buck? Do you want me to talk about loss, and grief, because everyone you love, everyone you care about dies? Do you want me to tell you about my Godfather taking a killing curse to the chest and falling through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries because of my mistake? What about death? Being marked for it, having to deal it out? Because that’s what the Chosen One is too. It’s death and pain and grief and loneliness, it’s self-hatred and martyrization and a bloody parade of trauma. What is it you want, Smith? An apology?”

 And Harry snorts because as much as he sometimes wants to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness, beg for redemption for his fuck ups and failures, Smith has never deserved an apology. Smith has never been a victim, not by his hand at least.

 “You don’t deserve one, you cowardly git. I have many things I regret, and none of them involve you so shove off.”

 The Great Hall shakes as he runs, runs to lick his wounds and hide in peace, in the place where he lived and died and where he first saw Voldemort come back.

 It’s cold.

 Not as cold as before, when he’d carried the Resurrection Stone into the clearing and felt okay for the first moment since Sirius died, but cold still.

 The leaves crunch beneath his feet, and he can feel the draw of the resurrection stone, the remaining power trying to attract him. It’s tempting… tempting because he misses Sirius with a fierce longing, but he knows better. He does.

 Harry treads the familiar path, watching the clearing open towards where he felt peace, where the familiar curse corrected itself.

 “Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived… come to die.”

 He shivers, holding his too-thin school robes tight to his chest. He hadn’t had the foresight to wear a jumper underneath his robes or anything beyond the thread-bare shirt he’d bought while on the run.

 They don’t understand.

 They don’t know.

 They don’t know what it’s like to be hated for years in a home you never asked for.

They don’t know what it’s like to watch everyone you care about die and suffer for nothing more than knowing you, caring about you.

They don’t know what it’s like to crave death, to want to die, and then have to come back.

 He still doesn’t know he is outside of that death, outside of Voldemort’s death. Outside of Hallows and Horcruxes and a fragmented soul that never felt whole and still doesn’t. Outside of the titles he doesn’t want – Boy Who Lived, Master of Death, Chosen One – and the things he’s lost.

 Because he’s a victim, not a hero.

 He’s an orphan shaped by trauma and grief and hollowness, desperately chasing after love and affection to make up for what he’d never experienced.

He’s a child shaped by manipulation and misplaced trust, seeking approval and guidance to redeem himself for sacrifices he didn’t have a say in.

 And above all else, he is as Albus Dumbledore intended:

 A martyr.

 Too bad he didn’t stay dead.

[fredweesleyismyslut]

Trash mouth   Draco Malfoy x reader(kinda fluff idk)

A/N: Okay, so this ended up being a lot longer than I was expecting but dude i was bored sorry.  I hope this is enjoyable and expect a part 2 to the sirius babysitter series on like Tuesday because I’ve written it up but need to add some little tweaks here and there because it didn’t come out as good as i wanted so I wrote this instead for this weekend...  Anywho this intro is getting too long just enjoy this little(really long) writing lol.  Love you guys!!  

It was snowing on the Hogwarts grounds as you looked out the window at the white wonderland that was still untouched.  You felt a warm hand shake you slightly, “Did you hear me, y/n?” said your boyfriend, Draco.  “Ummm...something about Christmas?” you answered, shrugging your shoulders timidly.  He chuckled slightly at your response, “Well, I’ll say it again since you weren’t listening.  I was asking if you’d like to come to my family dinner this Christmas?”  You felt the heart flutter slightly at the question but it also made you nervous since you knew how his parents, specifically his father, viewed muggleborns.  “I-I don’t..” you were avoiding his eyes while replying so Draco placed his finger under your chin and met your eyes, “I was just asking because I want you to visit and meet my parents, they’re dying to see you.”  His eyes crinkled in the corners as he smiled down at you, “Ummm...do they know that I’m a...muggleborn?” you questioned.  “Well, no...but.”  Standing up from the chair in the library you said, “Well, I’ll let you know.”  Draco nodded as you walked off not wanting to continue thinking about meeting his parents.  You knew how Draco had also viewed muggleborns, largely due to his upbringing, but that had changed when you two became friends in your second year and started dating in your fourth year.  You guys were now sixth years and still dating but you had never met his parents largely due to your fear of what they would say and make you two separate due to the fact that you were a muggleborn.  You walked to the common room of your house to find your friends since they would’ve finished dinner by now.  Walking in you found two of your best friends talking over their homework and obviously trying to do it last minute.  “Hey, can you spare a minute for a friend in need?” you asked situating yourself next to your friend Marissa who has curly blonde hair with striking blue eyes and was a muggleborn just like you.  “What is it?” she asked as your other friend , Tara, scooted closer whilst setting her homework down that was bound to not get finished.  “Well, it’s about Draco?” Suddenly, Marissa’s grip on your hand tightened, “Did that piece of scum break up with you?” she questioned a little loudly as some second years turned their heads.  “No...Marissa calm down.  It’s anything but that.” you stopped hesitating a little as you wrung your robes between your fingers,”Draco wants me to meet his parents this Christmas and you know what they think of m-muggles.”  Marissa looked at Tara slightly for support as she said, “Well, do they know you’re a muggleborn?”  You shook your head at her question while staring at the ground.  “I’m afraid that they’ll make us break up.  I mean I-I love Draco and he was so sweet to my parents when he first met them last year during summer break.”  “Well, as a friend, I’m gonna give it to you straight.  If he loves you as much as you love him he’ll convince his parents to be okay with it and if not oh well you guys are your own people.”  You nodded and leaned into her shoulder as Tara moved to your other side and had a small group hug.  

The day of Christmas you smiled at your parents and hugged them, “bye sweetie and have fun.”  your father said as he kissed your forehead.  Your mom came running around the corner, “Darling, remember to take this to Draco.  I remember he loved this last year, that sweet boy.”  You nodded as you looked at the food your mom had packed for Draco and a pair of knit gloves she had made for him to keep him more.  Honestly, sometimes you wondered if she loved him more than she loved you.  As you grabbed your floo powder and shouted, “Malfoy manor!” You felt your body feel a gutted pull as you were transported to the Malfoy manor and came toppling out of their fireplace.  “I’ve been waiting, y/n.” said a familiar voice as you looked up and saw the silver haired boy you loved so much.  “Wow, even your fireplace looks expensive.” you joked.  Draco chuckled at your gaping mouth as you looked around the living room, “Here, let me grab your bags.  We’ll go to my room and then eat dinner, my parents are waiting.”  Your stomach lurched, whether it was from just going through the floo network or nervousness you weren’t particularly sure.  As you walked back down the flight of stairs to the dining room you saw a familiar face, Lucius Malfoy whom you had never spoken to but seen around and heard of.  Next to him sat a smiling lady who had a friendlier looking face than Draco’s father.  “Hi, my name is..”  Lucius cut you off as he coldly said, “y/n l/n.  We know our son told us.”  You nodded and swallowed nervously.  Draco pulled the seat out for you and then sat in his chair.  “So, what do your parents work as?  We’ve never heard of your last name before.”  Your grip on the fork tightened, “Well, my mom is a surgeon and my dad works from home as a therapist.”  Draco’s father seemed to let the words sink in as his brows furrowed, “can they do magic?” he asked.  You looked over at Draco sheepishly as you tried to wipe the sweat from your hands, “Well, no.  They’re muggles but they’re supportive of me being at Hogwarts.”  You watched as the crease in his brows increased as he listened and saw Draco’s mother look slightly uncomfortable.  “So, you’re a mudblood in other words.  Draco, why’d you bring her here?”  he asked directing all his attention to Draco as if you were a dirt stain he wished would just wash away.  Draco stared his father down and replied, “Be..Because I love her.  I don’t care if her parents are muggles they’re amazing people.”  You felt a swirl of pride in your heart at Draco’s words but watched as his father set his utensils down.  “Well, you can tell her to kindly leave the house.  Oh, and Draco I don’t know what happened for your tastes to become so low to love a mudblood.”  He stood up and was about to walk off but you looked at Draco’s saddened face and didn’t know what came upon you.  You stood up and pushed the chair back, “Excuse me sir but I don’t think it’s Draco’s tastes that have become low but it’s your intellect.”  Putting the utensils down you grabbed your jacket, “Oh, and don’t worry I don’t want to spend another second in a house full of people who think that they’re better due to their blood status when all they do is spit trash from their mouths as if they’ve never been educated.”  Draco’s mouth gaped open and you saw the shocked expression from his mother’s face.  You pushed the chair back and bowed your head slightly to his mother, “Thank you for the meal. I’m sorry that I couldn’t finish it due to losing my appetite at your husband’s rude words.”  Lucius Malfoy looked like he was about to say something but you turned around and marched up the stairs to grab your things and pulled out the little pouch of floo powder you had brought.  Walking up to the same fireplace you came out of you held the powder in you hand and was about to speak until a hand grabbed your shoulder.  “y/n, darling.  That was the most brave and amazing thing I’ve seen anyone do.” said Draco with a brightness you had never seen in his eyes.  “Well my parents, even if they are muggles, told me not to let anyone ever put themselves on a pedestal above me and to stand up for myself.”  you said smiling but then felt sorry, “I’m sorry that I kind of ruined the dinner.  this isn’t what I..”  Draco cut you off as he pulled you into a deep kiss that felt as if he was expressing all his love into.  “No...I would never want you to sit their and let my father belittle you.  He may talk bad to me but I’d beat myself before I let him do that to you.”  He stared into your eyes for a moment before he whispered so softly you might’ve missed it, “I-I love you y/n l/n and I don’t know what I’d do if I hadn’t met you in second year.”  You chuckled, “I love you too, Malfoy and I don’t know what I would’ve done if I hadn’t stopped to kick you in the shin in second year.”  Draco laughed at the memory and kissed you again before pulling away, “You should go home now and tell your mother I’ll be coming to visit soon to eat her cooking.”  You nodded and shouted the name of your house as you went through the floo network again.  

The week after Draco had visited to have dinner with you and your family.  He helped your mom cook dinner as you watched from your chair.  Draco had told you that after your previous family dinner his father was surprised at your response and had said that even if he didn’t exactly approving of his sons choices, which you and Draco could care less of his opinion, had said that he had liked your fierceness and would like to have dinner again and although you would’ve decline for the sake of Draco you decided to give it another try.

[chicagocityofclans]

Vincent Kane → Theo James, Joseph Morgan, Scott Eastwood, Jai Courtney and Yusuf Gatewood → Human Shifter

→ Basic Information 

Age: 300

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

Birthday: August 28th

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Religion: Atheist

→ His Personality To most people Vincent may seem like a loner, despite that, he is not anti-social but rather he is very caring and protective of others, shown by his decision to join the police force to help save lives. Although Vincent does tend to isolate himself from others, he is hardly uncaring and is quite compassionate towards other people, even non-humans, whom he was initially hostile towards. Vincent is not nostalgic, and lives firmly in the present. He has only vague notions or thoughts about old age and retirement, which he does not seem to think he will live to see. He enjoys pushing himself to the limit, both mentally and physically. Vincent's stress levels drop when the stakes are higher. He is prone to boredom and mild depression when not challenged. Even with his sarcastic nature and wry features, his quiet, borderline brooding, demeanor is outshined by his humor and ability to brighten the room around him.

→ His Personal Facts

Occupation: Human Shifter 3rd/Liaison and Lieutenant of Police || Recently transferred to Internal Affairs

Scars: Multiple Hidden Scars 

Tattoos: Multiple Depending on the Shift

Two Likes: Home Improvement and Workingout

Two Dislikes: Slobs and Country Music

Two Fears: Death and Dying 

Two Hobbies: Working and Chillin’

Three Positive Traits: Intuitive, Humble, Enduring 

Three Negative Traits: Restrained, Workaholic, Uninterested

→ His Connections

Parent Names:

Oohhotep Hunra (Mother): Oohhotep was Vincent’s queen of a mother. Born and raised in Egypt, Oohhotep was defiled by her local human shifter clan leader. Gravely injured, she had to choose between aging and healing or remaining to prevent pregnancy. Vincent, who was named Rsmses Hunra at birth, is forever grateful for her choice and more so for the love she had for him. Losing Oohhotep just before their trip to the new world was the worst feeling in Vincent’s life. 

Unknown (Father): The Egyptian human shifter pack was wiped out a few years after Oohhotep ran with Vincent. Vincent never got his father’s name from his mother. 

Sibling Names:

None

Children Names:

Vero ‘Vincent’ Hunra (Son): Vero and his mother died of complications during birth. Thii went into labor early and Vero was a stillborn. To honor his son and fiancee, Rsmses Hunra became Vincent Kane that night. 

Romantic Connections:

Thii Kane (Ex-Girlfriend/Fiancee): Thii and Vincent were fools in love. It was love at first sight and Vincent knew she was the one. They rushed into their relationship, Vincent proposing months into their relationship and Thii purposely became pregnant weeks after their engagement was announced; they were both eager to start a family together. Vincent completely lost it when both Thii and Vero died. Oohhotep, Sirius, Robert and Arthur helped him put the pieces back together but Vincent has been missing a part of himself without them.

Platonic Connections:

Churchill Darling (Best Friend): Vincent has known Churchill for approximately 180 years. They have formed a bond stronger than most people Vincent has known for a much longer time. 

Jev ‘Patch’ Cipriano (Good Friend): Vincent and Patch grew up together. Vincent sees Patch and his family as the extended family Vincent has never had the chance to know. 

Robert J. Fischer (Best Friend): Vincent and Robert grew up together. In the past they would take on sibling forms and live as brothers. Robert, Churchill, Vincent and Patch all shared one apartment until recently, when Robert was tasked with running for mayor. 

Sirius Cobic (Old Friend): Sirius, Vincent and Oohhotep met in Greece. Oohhotep knew of Sirius and had met him a few times in Egypt. Vincent was only a few months old and had been with Sirius and his clan ever since. 

Arthur ‘Art’ Milligan (Friend): Vincent has been friends with Arthur since his parents sent him to live with the Cipriano family. Vincent has always been there to help Arthur put the pieces back together when he screws things up or after a particularly bad fight. 

D.W. Colt (Friend): Vincent does not approve of D.W’s mission. This has made their friendship frosty at times, though they do get along.

Montgomery ‘Monty’ Wilders (New Friend): Monty seems like a good kid that was given a tough life. Vincent thinks he can flourish within their clan. 

Winston 'Sticks' Abioye (Old Friend): Winston and Vincent go way back. Winston was there when Vincent lost his family.

Darren Shaw (Friendly): Darren and Vincent are on friendly terms. They do not talk much outside of work but they are on a first name basis. 

Kylo ‘Nada’ Rajui (Liaison): Vincent is always straight to business and at times curt. Nada has never taken it to heart, knowing how secretive human shifters are in general. They have crossed paths outside of liaison business but nothing more. 

Sarah Harris (Liaison): While Sarah has known Vincent for many years, recently she’s had Shannon take over communication with him. 

Shannon Harris (Liaison): Vincent is Shannon’s go to person when the Jackals need to talk to the higher ups about the campaign or in general about the relationship between the Jackals and Human Shifters. 

Maxine Vanes (Liaison): Max has only recently reached out to Vincent after hearing about the increased hostility between Clan Rat and the human shifters. Vincent and Max have met a few times and Vincent is hoping she can talk some sense into her superiors before Sirius declares Clan Rat as hostiles.  

Isla Johns (Unsure): Vincent is one of Isla’s main sources of information. Vincent has been nothing but kind and professional. He usually has all the information she needs neatly placed in a file. She seems to want to form some type of friendship or bond but Vincent is unsure why and finds her unbeneficial.

Ryan Cleirigh (Frequent Podcast Guest): Vincent comes on to inform the supernatural public of their findings and what can be done to help them out.

Hostile Connections:

Amy Colt (Unsure): Douglas and Winston keep Amy around for some reason whenever they go out for drinks. Vincent cannot let his guard down around her.   

Pets:

None

→ History

Rsmses Hunra was born during a famine in Egypt. His mother, Oohhotep, had him right outside of Faiyum while traveling to Cairo to seek passage aboard a vessel leaving from Alexandria. Ramses does not remember much of traveling as a child with his mother. Oohhotep and Sirius have both told him that they met in Greece when Rsmses was only a few months old. Rsmses childhood and young adulthood were on the road. They were moving from city to city and country to country. Rsmses met Thii in Croatia while they were on the road to Italy. She was an Egyptian beauty, Rsmses could not help himself; it was love at first sight. Rsmses did not push about her past since he was more worried about their future together. They continued their journey with a small clan of followers, refugees, rejects, and more. During their journey, Rsmses had clung to Oohhotep, Thii, and Sirius, eventually working his way up ranking and becoming Sirius’s right-hand man.

When they finally reached Italy, Sirius had made up his mind of leaving Europe for the New World. Rsmses proposed to Thii when they settled in Italy. Thii was pregnant just weeks after Vincent and Thii’s engagement was announced; they were eager to start a family together before their journey continued. Rsmses, Thii, Oohhotep, and Sirius instantly attached themselves to the Cipriano family and became good friends. They saw them as an extended family they never had. His happiness was short-lived because Thii and their son died of complications during birth. Thii went into labor early. Unable to control her shift or switch forms cause her to bleed out in Rsmses arms. To honor his son and fiancee, Rsmses Hunra became Vincent Kane that night. He took Thii surname and Vero’s middle name. To make matters worse for Vincent also lost his mom days before they were due to sail away.

That started their journey with nearly 60 other human shifters towards Ruperet’s Land where Sirius had planned to join the Hudson’s Bay Company in the fur trading business. They also establish homes in the mining and industrial towns across Canada and the United States. Vincent buried himself in his work as second in command to Sirius and aided in managing their growing numbers and keeping their clan stories in order. It was Patch and Arthur who became friends with the Cleirighs that promoted their move to Chicago. It was a new city that the Cleirigh family had hinted towards their large number of different species and lawlessness. Their reformed family of 213 human shifters slowly traveled to Illinois. They acted as mediators when they first arrived. Taking payments to privately help solve supernatural on supernatural crimes, street robbery, murder, petty thievery, prostitution, rape, missing children, and poaching. Taking a note from New York, Philadelphia, and Boston, Sirius pushed to establish and form the Chicago Police Department.

→ The Present

Vincent was one of the first to push Sirius and the local Human Shifters towards a bribe free working environment. Once they accepted bribes to cover up a gruesome death, or chains of shifter and vampiric changes went wrong from the human and supernatural communities. The Supernatural community has grown over the centuries resulting in harder cover-ups without implementing punishments. Vincent had pushed until taking bribes was no longer accepted. He is still aiming towards stricter regulations and a private prison for Supernaturals; especially since sentencing results in banishment or death.

Away from work and the public eye, Vincent has been slowly spiraling down an endless pit. Vincent completely lost it when both Thii and Vero died. Oohhotep, Sirius, Robert, and Arthur helped him put the pieces back together, but Vincent has been missing a part of himself without them. Vincent has recently come to terms with the fact that his life will not be complete without them. He has done his research and plans on bringing his case to Ronan Cleirigh. Hoping the necromancer can resurrect his wife and son.

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome (again) to the Order of the Phoenix, Karli!

You have been accepted for the role of ANDROMEDA TONKS! I really enjoyed how you didn’t shy away from showing us how much Andromeda’s upbringing not only shaped her but continues to influence her today, and how choosing to leave her family wasn’t an instant (magical, heh) cure-all for her messed-up beliefs and prejudices. I think her perspective is going to make for a fascinating addition to the game!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Karli

AGE: 28

TIMEZONE: CST

ACTIVITY LEVEL: Same as current

ANYTHING ELSE: Nothing - but anyone reading this, know that I will not be part of the decision for Andromeda’s application. This will be outsourced to the other admin.

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Andromeda Tonks (née Black) 

AGE: 29

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cisfemale. She/Her. Andromeda would just give you a look if you were to ask about her sexuality before saying with a bit of ice that she has a husband, thank you very much - but the truth is, her sexuality has always been a bit more fluid than that. She can recognize the way a woman’s curves can be beautiful, with a slight desire to be touched. She doesn’t stray from seeing that beauty - but she has never allowed herself to think about being with a woman and probably never would. Even without Ted, men have always gained her attention a bit more. Doesn’t mean there’s not curiosity. (Aka bisexual with a leaning preference towards men).

BLOOD STATUS: Pureblood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Slytherin

ANY CHANGES: None, I wrote the bio! haha

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY: 

Andromeda fits as a Slytherin because of herself - not strictly because of her family. She’s ambitious, shown through her career. She’s been working for the Department of Mysteries for years - a department of the Ministry that typically hires much older wix than when she began. She’s curious and likes to see how things tick. It’s why she began Project Lykos - why she believes in harvesting all the parts of something negative to understand how to make it better. The way she sometimes can see things in a different way makes her creative.

Being raised by Druella made her strong, but also stubborn. She doesn’t back down easy - especially if someone isn’t explaining it to her from a curious mindset. When a person just claims they are right with no external evidence, Andromeda will not come down to their side. It’s why she’s married to Ted - why most of the Order would never trust her, if she were to reach out to anyone other than Sirius.

Though a bit quieter than her outspoken sister Bellatrix, and a bit warmer than the Ice Queen Narcissa, Andromeda can also be mean. She’s not against laughing right at someone’s face because she disagrees with them or thinks they look unsightly. She takes pride in the way she looks, but not overly - she wants to look put-together, after all… not like she’s trying too hard! She can be loving to those she cares for - Ted, Nymphadora, her sisters, her cousins - but is not overly affectionate. People sometimes find her stuck up, but she just finds that weak-minded.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY: 

Growing up in the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black meant there were a lot of expectations on Andromeda. She grew up in a house (nearly) full of strong woman - poor Cygnus never truly counted for much, it was Druella who ran the household, though others might not see it that way from the outside - and Andromeda was proud of it. Behind every wizard is a powerful witch, her mother would tell her daughters. Andromeda listened, learned beside Bella and Cissy. And she loved her sisters more than anything because they were hers. They would be together forever.

Druella taught her how to keep her chin up - and how to look down at people while doing so. Andromeda never truly found any harm in doing this for years. She had her father wrapped around her finger - she knew how to mimic her mother’s coy grin. There was absolutely nothing wrong with being a Black - and that knowledge made it easy to grin widely when she joined Slytherin and others stared. Another snake, they would say, the houses mostly united outside the green-and-silver.

She was unashamed, she didn’t care what they had to say about her or her family. Andromeda knew she was better than them - Druella had taught her that. Taught her what it truly was to be a woman. She stayed close to her sisters all throughout Hogwarts, giggled with Narcissa about the ridiculous rumors involving Lucius - hexed anyone who called Bellatrix a nasty name. And, when Ted Tonks caught her eye during their seventh year of Hogwarts (okay, so maybe he’d caught her eye a bit before that, but honestly, he was proper peng!), Andromeda felt guilty not telling them about her crush. They were supposed to tell each other everything!

Andromeda had never planned on developing actual feelings for the mudblo - muggleborn! It was all supposed to be fun… something to get the edge off when stressed about classes and extracurriculars! She was supposed to take what she wanted and let him go - just like Druella taught her! But Ted weaseled his way into her life. Even with that, Andromeda fully planned on ditching him after graduation - love was just love, a silly little thing! - but when she wound up pregnant a month before she ended school, she knew things wouldn’t be so simple.

She told her family - of course she did, she couldn’t keep something like this away from them - and put up her defenses when they revolted. A mudblood? A child? Cygnus seethed, Druella threatened… and Andromeda grew stubborn. She’d been considering a potion to make her not pregnant any longer - it would make things so much easier! - but when her parents demanded and her sisters sided with them, Andromeda changed her mind. Druella had taught her to be a strong witch, after all. 

No one told her what to do.

She told Ted they should marry and he agreed and she silently let her world explode with her chin up, looking down at everyone else. 

OCCUPATION:

Andromeda is an Unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic. She spends all her time on Level 9, the deepest floor of the Ministry. She has nearly full autonomy in her work - there is hardly any approval needed for projects and there is little hierarchy in the Department of Mysteries. The Unspeakables have a lot of freedom to research whatever they feel connected to. While many others choose things like love and death and happiness, Andromeda’s most recent project has been a bit more sinister. She became interested in werewolves when she learned about their quick healing process. If there was something in their infection that could heal them, of all people - what could it do for others? Surely there would be a way to harvest the natural side-effects of lycanthropy without infecting innocents. 

She’d dedicated the last three years to what now is known (in the department, of course, nowhere else) Project Lykos. Sometimes this means a bit of field work after full moons - looking for dead half-breeds, bringing in their bodies as subjects. She has consulted with St. Mungo’s to collect samples from live, registered werewolves. And things are going well. She believes she is close to making a break. Potions are easier - but there must be more that these creatures can help with.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER: 

Andromeda is an affiliate of the Order of the Phoenix. It’s a recent thing - after she started seeing more of her cousin Sirius, who is very obviously a member of the rebellion (how the Ministry hasn’t caught him is beyond her!) She doesn’t know what made her start to help - mostly passing information, bits and pieces… nothing too important from her department yet - but she was bored. This hadn’t been where her life was supposed to end up - with a husband and a daughter since she graduated Hogwarts!

She doesn’t really have any passion for the Order, but it’s keeping her curious mind at bay. What are they doing? How are they doing it? Is any of it really working? (She thinks the latter question is a no, given the Dark Lord has only risen in his ranks, while Sirius says people keep dying in the Order). She would like to become more involved, if only because she wants to know these things. She’s not worried about the repercussions - she’s a Black at heart. She’ll find a way out, even if she ends up getting herself entangled. 

SURVIVAL: 

Ted and Andromeda live in a nice little cottage in a half-muggle, half-Wizarding town only a floo away from the Ministry. For the last eleven years, Andromeda has been the only one bringing in money for their family, while Ted stayed home with Nymphadora. Her little daughter could sprout whatever sort of body part she wanted, after all - they couldn’t exactly keep her in public! Andromeda is used to more lavish things, but what she has now is alright too (okay, so, she likes looking at the glittering objects in shop - doesn’t mean she plans on buying all of them!) 

She survives because of her blood status and her family ties. Ted survives because of his protection through her. Nymphadora survives through her mother and school. They have been able to stay under the radar for the most part because the Dark Lord isn’t keen on spilling pure magical blood. Ted may be more of a target than she - but they’ve made it work. She has her job, which pays incredibly well (though it’s no Black vault) and she has Ted (who is a fine husband, all considered) and she has her daughter (something she never asked for, becoming a mother, but loves all the same). Compared to many other people, Andromeda has it easy. 

RELATIONSHIPS: 

(All of these are just ideas that can be changed once discussion with players has happened!)

Andromeda’s main connection is to Ted Tonks. She loves him, of course, but it’s not that desperate sort of love they once had. When they were sneaking around at Hogwarts, meeting up in the stacks of the library, letting him touch her underneath her robes… that was undeniable passion. Once upon a time, Andromeda had lust for her husband - now she’s stuck with old married love and the occasional scheduled shag because it’s Tuesday. She doesn’t know Ted has joined the Order - he’s already decided to get a job! - and she doesn’t plan on telling him about her decision to help out her wayward cousin. It puts a dull on things - a strain. But she’s not cheating on him or anything. That’s something in her world!

Sirius Black is the person from the Order she speaks to most. No one else really knows she’s helping out - but she meets up with Sirius once every other week to pass along information. He’s been trying to convince her to take the next step and join in on a meeting and she’s considering it. Maybe there’s a bit of Gryffindor in her, after all! While Andromeda wouldn’t say they’re particularly close any longer, Sirius is family. And since she can’t have Bella or Cissy, he’ll have to do.

(The next few things are for when she becomes more involved in the Order and sees who else is there…)

Andromeda doesn’t trust Ainsley Abbott. They girl is hiding something - someone in the Order who’s sister is marrying a Rosier, of all people? Andromeda doesn’t buy it. She also doesn’t bat at eyelash whenever people call her a hypocrite for it (Your sister is married to a Malfoy, Andromeda, come off it!) because she knows she’s right. 

Isla Selwyn-Macmillan is a strange addition to the Order, but not an unwelcome one. Finally someone who gets where Andromeda is coming from! And, after all, hadn’t Druella taught her daughters that pureblood witches should be strong, independent women who made their own choices? Isla is just a walking description of that. 

Andromeda could care less about Quidditch, but maybe shouldn’t have told Lucinda Talkalot that. After all, the girl is nice, but she really shouldn’t take her name so literally - Andromeda just wanted her to shut up! 

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: I have no set ships for Andromeda. She is obviously coming into this roleplay married and I’m guessing that will stick around for awhile. There is love for Ted - but that doesn’t mean things will always work out. Her love isn’t very passionate anymore - there is no longer that sort of desperation when they were sneaking around at Hogwarts and she wanted him so badly. He’s still gorgeous, she still feels something. But it’s not nearly as obvious as it used to be and it wouldn’t be surprising to me if someone strayed. They are already keeping secrets from one another, after all.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Andromeda has a lot of privileges - she comes from a white, wealthy, pureblood family. She grew up in classic pureblood society, with one of the most well-known surnames of all time. When she was sorted in Slytherin, no one batted at eye - not like her cousin only a few years later. Even as a woman, though treated differently than her male family members, she was told how important she was - how proud she should be to be who she was. She did not have it hard growing up and didn’t care to really be aware of what it was like to not be her. It wasn’t until Ted that she truly began to understand why things looked different to other people not in her same position. But, even then, it has never truly sunk in.

She knows not to call people mudblood (sure, she slips up sometimes, but it’s an accident!), but doesn’t really get what the big deal is. After all, she’s heard muggleborns say that about themselves before. Ted has! And then there is the money situation. Now that they actually need the money, she’s lost the privilege, but still eyes those expensive toys that she wishes she could have - annoyed she can’t. Ted has helped her see the world in a different way, but old habits die hard. She was with her family a lot longer than she’s been with him and those views still fit with her sometimes. She misses her family - something Ted will never understand - but she left them for him! She left her privilege to make a family and that should be enough.

She’s biased about a lot of things - she’ll never understand muggleborns or why they just don’t assimilate more. She doesn’t realize it’s her blood status that gives her husband protection - not the fact that he can just act like a wizard. Forgets that “acting like a wizard” implies he’s not actually a wizard - which he fully is, just like any other muggleborn.

Half-breeds are beneath her. She won’t tolerate werewolves thinking they deserve more rights when they’re already allowed to kill children. She thinks what they do deserve is a cure - and she’s working on it! - because it’s crass the way they behave otherwise! There’s a lot she doesn’t understand - and a lot she’ll never try to understand.

But, on the other hand, the people that she now surrounds herself with out of necessity don’t get her, either. And they also don’t try to. Instead of trying to help her educate herself, they often shame her - and why would she want to change then? It makes her miss her family more. They, at least, thought she was a person of value.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 

What brought me here is that I started this rp! All silliness aside though, I am having so much fun within this roleplay already. The players are amazing - the activity is great! And I just wanted to bring another character into such a wonderful group. I really love all the ideas that flow through the ooc and I’m truly humbled to see this group grow. 

What I’m most looking forward to Andromeda, specifically - getting her more involved in the Order, Ted discovering her secrets, the conflict with her family. And the fact that she is still incredibly prejudiced. The Order aren’t a bunch of non-biased saints… I want to show that explicitly with her. Also - they aren’t really teaching her. They’re just lecturing her, berating her, getting angry with her… and that doesn’t create change. If anything, it’ll only make her dig her heels in more. I want to play that out!

PLOT DROP IDEAS: Anything with Andromeda’s prejudice, please! Also, Andromeda getting more inducted into the Order, since we can’t just have Sirius as her main contact!

ANYTHING ELSE? None.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Alive Again Part 3

Harry Potter AU 

Link to Part two

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: T

______

You were the first to wake up the next morning. Turning on your side, you were relieved to see Regulus lying beside you. You smiled, resisting the urge to gently kiss him. He looked so peaceful sleeping. You reached out, stroking his cheek.

“You're staring at me again, aren’t you?”

Regulus asked, not opening his eyes. You giggled and finally pressed a kiss to his cheek. The two of you had finally fallen asleep around four am. You prayed that Astaria would sleep in. If only an hour or two later than normal would be fine. You needed some time with Regulus alone. Judging by his own desperation to keep you under him, he needed this time just as much.

“Maybe I am.”

You replied tracing your finger over his lips. He threw an arm around you to pull your body back to his.

“You’re too far away. Keep me warm, woman.”

He said opening one eye with a smirk. You threw your leg over his hip to prevent either of you from moving too far from the other.

The sound of Evan’s voice coming from the dining room got both of your attention. Regulus poked his head up first hearing his best friend.

“You know he won’t believe anything.”

You said, darkly. It didn’t take being Evan’s sister to know how he would react. Evan would believe anything that Voldemort told him and nothing Regulus would say. It didn’t matter that Regulus was his best friend and had put together some secret that the dark lord didn’t want to be figured out. Your prior thought about Evan grabbing an ankle for Voldemort returned.

Regulus stood up and began to dress.

“I know he won’t. I also don’t think my mother will enjoy being told that her way of thinking is wrong either. My suggestion, my love, is to be ready to go at a moment’s notice.”

You were fixing the bra that Regulus had torn off of you before you looked up.

“Where will we go?”

Regulus’ eyes flickered in your direction before giving you his best scowl.

“Just do what I say.”

Regulus kept his eyes on you as if silently pleading with you. He would never be the begging type and you knew it. It didn’t take growing up together to know what Regulus was and what he was not.

“Fine.”

You replied. Regulus quickly closed the distance between your body and his. His right hand tilted your face to him.

“You're still such a stubborn girl. It's no wonder that I fell so hopelessly in love with you. Like I said last night...it's time to see how brave you really are.”

Regulus followed you downstairs to the dining room. From your place by the door, you could see Walburga watching Evan interact with Astaria with an expression of approval. Evan was the closest thing that she had to Regulus when he “died.”

Astaria meanwhile was busy playing with a stuffed owl that Evan had given her. She sat happily in her uncle’s arms and would smile up at him coyly every few moments. Astaria, being only two, already knew how to work her uncle to her advantage. When Evan was around, if she wanted something then she knew who to go to. If she squeezed out a few tears and lip wiggles then BAM instant whatever it was.

“She looks so much like her father. I feel like Regulus is looking back at me sometimes.”

Evan said with a sad smile.

“Daddy’s sleeping with mummy.”

Astaria said as she continued to pet her new stuffy. Walburga’s eyes fell to her granddaughter. The older woman hadn’t said anything to Evan about Regulus being alive. She was going to leave that to her son as she still had questions that needed to be answered too.

“What did you say, sweetpea?”

Evan asked, wanting to make sure that he had heard his niece right. The little girl looked up with a sassy frown. At two years old, she didn’t like repeating herself.

“Daddy is sleeping with mummy.”

Regulus nudged your forward when Evan’s face went white. He had heard his niece right. What did that mean? There was no way…

The moment that Regulus walked into the room with you, Evan nearly passed out. He rubbed his hands over his eyes a few times. Evan wondered if this was actually some drunken dream and not reality.

“See?”

Astaria said, not bothering to look up at her uncle’s stunned face. All that she knew was her daddy and mummy were right across the room. That was all that mattered other than petting her new toy.

“Regulus…”

Evan stuttered. You knew your brother was within an inch of losing it.

“I felt the same way, Evan. This is no joke.”

Regulus didn’t meet his mother’s gaze. He kept his attention locked on Evan’s petrified face.

“How are you alive? The dark lord said…”

Regulus motioned for you to get Astaria. He was ready for this conversation to go south very quickly. When Evan Rosier was backed into a corner, he would be the first to last out at anyone that was nearby. Now he was about to be told that he was in the wrong on everything...he would resume his “ready to kill” temper. Regulus would make god damn sure that Evan wouldn’t lay an unloving hand on you or Astaria.

“You need to find new friends.”

Regulus said, casually. Evan’s shocked expression turned into confusion.

“What is that supposed to me?”

“Exactly what I said. I didn’t stutter.”

Regulus snapped as you returned to his side. Evan stood up as his mind was finally able to begin to work again.

“Are you saying that you doubt our master?”

Regulus chuckled.

“He isn’t nothing to me of that nature.”

Walburga was the next one to speak. She was tired of her youngest son ignoring her and she was not to be ignored anymore.

“Regulus Arcturus Black, what are you saying?”

Regulus turned his attention back to his mother. He was about to rock her world and for once he didn’t care. This time Regulus would not try to calm his mother so she wouldn’t lose her temper. Walburga could go crazy for all Regulus cared. She could scream, throw things, cry like a baby if she wanted but Walburga was about to be told.

“I’m saying that everything you ever taught me, everything that I ever believed is wrong. Both of you are foolish for believing in a thing that Voldemort has to say. Evan, if you were smart you would grab something valuable and run for it.”

Evan looked disgusted by his best friend’s words.

“What happened to you while you were at the bottom of that lake? Did almost becoming an inferi teach you nothing? The dark lord is not to be messed with and what you are saying is a one-way ticket to death...that you won’t escape from.”

Regulus only blinked.

“Are you threatening me? I suppose you are going to run right to Voldemort and tell him everything? I guess I should be frightened. Tell him that I said hello and know his secret.”

Evan’s surprised expression had turned furious.

“Y/n, get away from him. Get Astaria and come to me at once.”

You looked between Evan, Walburga, and Regulus. Stepped closer to Regulus, you let him wrap his arm around your waist. He gently took Astaria into his arms tucking her head against his shoulder.

“My place is with my husband.”

You stated defiantly. Evan was seething.

“You’ll be hunted like animals. If you think that I won’t tell him the truth...you’re both mistaken.”

Evan started for you but was stopped when Regulus hexed him.

“Do what you have to.”

He replied before turning his attention to his mother.

“Au revoir, mere.” (good bye, mother)

Regulus quickly apparated the three of you from Grimmauld Place. The next thing that you knew, you were standing outside of a small brick home.

“Reggie, where are we?”

You questioned as he placed your daughter back in your arms. Astaria was looking around, totally confused herself. Regulus glanced over his shoulder before knocking on the door. He chose not to respond. Regulus could have told you that you were about to see him “kiss ass” but decided not to.

“Somewhere safe.”

A moment later, Sirius opened the door. His mouth fell the moment that he saw his younger brother, whom he thought was dead on his doorstep. Sirius blinked a few times before being able to close his mouth.

“Please tell me that you are real.”

Regulus reached out and pinched Sirius’ arm hard causing the older brother to yelp.

“Is that real enough for you?”

Regulus questioned. Sirius nodded before meeting your gaze. The two of you haven't spoken since before you married Regulus. He had tried to persuade you to say no to the engagement. There were no romantic intentions (you knew that he was happy with Remus) instead, it was Sirius worrying about your safety.

“Y/n!”

His eyes finally fell on the niece that he didn’t know that he had. Sirius didn’t have to ask questions. He knew that was his niece.

“Can we come in?”

Regulus finally asked. He was getting the hint that Sirius was still in a state of shock and the whole “being safe” thing was beginning to evaporate.

Sirius quickly moved aside. This was something that he never expected. After he received your owl about Regulus dying, he couldn't get back to you. It was exactly what Sirius said would happen.

“Sweetie, he is so in deep with the death eaters that you will end up a widow by 20.”

Now it appeared that he was wrong about everything. His little brother was alive. He still looked as cocky and arrogant as he did the last time that Sirius tried to talk him out of joining the death eaters. Sirius tried not to let his mind go there but he couldn't help it…

“Don’t do it, Regulus. I’m begging you. You can come to our side. No one will hurt you. You're my brother and I can’t let anything happen to you.”

Regulus stood with his hood up. All that Sirius could see was his mouth and chin. Regulus did everything that he could to conceal his identity.

“I am no one to you. You made that perfectly clear years ago.”

Sirius wanted nothing more than to grab Regulus and shake him.

“You know that isn’t true. I begged you to come with me. I could have taken care of you.”

Regulus sneered.

“No, you wouldn’t. You would ignore my existence just like you do at school. Don’t you dare say you won't because you fucking do. It's too late anyway.”

Sirius was going to regret asking but he had to.

“What about Y/n? Do you want to make her a widow by the time the two of you are 20?”

Regulus chuckled.

“We have an understanding.”

He quickly unbuttoned the cuff of his shirt enough to pull the sleeve up. Sirius looked ill the moment that his eyes landed on the dark mark...just like that his innocent baby brother was gone never to return….

It was Remus that pulled Sirius from one of his worst memories. Remus had been reading a new book but was staring at Regulus. He too was clearly stunned and confused by the youngest Black brother’s apparent existence.

“I’m confused.”

Remus stuttered. He met your gaze then froze the moment that he saw the little girl in your arms. He had no idea that you were pregnant. Sirius said nothing about it. From the heartbroken expression on Sirius’ face, Remus knew that his lover didn’t know. Had he known, Sirius would never have missed this much time in her life.

Regulus sighed.

“I am going to say this once and will never speak of it again. You all were right about the dark lord.”

Sirius blinked. Had this situation been different, he would have said something snarky. Today he couldn’t.

“It's taken you a long time to figure this out.”

Remus said, calmly. Regulus smirked.

“This long and lying at the bottom of a lake nearly drowned helped me come to my senses.”

Remus winced and found that he was unable to meet Sirius’ gaze. Sirius had blamed himself for Regulus’ fate since the day that he got the letter from you about his death. There had been many nights that Sirius would cry himself out of tears after drinking all of the alcohol in the house. Only Remus knew this fact…

“I don’t think Astaria should be hearing this.”

You said, gently. Sirius nodded. The little girl was looking intently between her father and Remus.

Sirius stepped forward and knelt down to Astaria’s level. You had sat her down a moment before. She had waddled over to Regulus’ leg and was holding onto his robes.

“Hi, there sweetheart. I am your uncle Sirius. Do you like ice cream?”

Astaria nodded but didn’t let go of her father. Sirius smirked. There was no DNA test needed on who this child belonged to. She had that same calculating reserved expression that Regulus wore 95% of the time.

“It's alright.”

Regulus said, gently to the child. Astaria finally nodded. Sirius met your gaze with a smile.

“I have some ice cream if you want to go to the kitchen.”

You stepped forward and picked the little girl up.

“That will be nice. I’ll let you all talk. It's nothing that I don’t already know.”

Sirius waited until you were out of the room to face his little brother. He had to fight the urge to hug the little jerk until he begged for mercy. Sirius motioned to the couch.

“Sit down. I want to know what you have to say before I go buy myself a world’s best uncle mug.”

_______

@fairywriter-oracle

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[wormtales-archive]

if the marauders were anything like yall i understand why peter joined the death eaters KIDDING ILY & I’M SO EXCITED TO BE HERE anyways i’ve been playing peter for uh five yrs now ? he my problematic fave son.

— is that TARJEI SANDVIK MOE wearing that GRYFFINDOR scarf ? no, it appears to be PETER PETTIGREW who happens to be a SEVENTH year and a HALFBLOOD !! HE is CISMALE, and i heard they’re INTUITIVE and FACETIOUS, but might also seem FOOLHARDY and SELF-DOUBTING. they appear to be leaning towards the side of the ORDER OF THE PHOENIX, but this is a conversation we should be having somewhere else.

pinterest board

aesthetic: laughter breaking the stillness of a suburban summer night, coughing on whiskey and cigarettes, running a restless hand through messy blond hair, the soft ticking of a grandfather clock, bruised knuckles stuffed in the pockets of scuffed jeans. the golden rays of the late afternoon sun. quick glances seeking approval, a cheeky grin once it’s been earned. dog eared comic books in a cardboard box under your bed, feet dangling over the edge of the roof, staring down the stars, wanting to be a hero but not quite knowing how.

PETER PETTIGREW. born in sheffield, england to a muggle father and a magical mother. he lived in a small brick house with old fashioned furniture. his family has always been catholic so he dressed up and went to church every sunday. he was an only child, and it showed – his parents adored him and coddled him from the moment he was born.

perhaps because of this, or perhaps because he was a wizard, he didn’t really click with the muggle kids in his neighbourhood. he was more a mama’s boy, helping his mother dust and vacuum and fold the laundry and set the table for supper every day. his parents were worried that he wasn’t a very social child, and that he wouldn’t make many friends at hogwarts. they even considered holding him back a year, but ultimately decided against it.

but lo and behold, when he went to hogwarts he made friends! remus, sirius and james to be specific. and it was gr8 and they brought out this whole other side of him that he’d never shown before

this mischievous, snarky boy who’ll “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am” your mum to her face but just as soon make a “your mom” joke when she’s out of earshot. his smile is either shy and endearing or the cheekiest lil shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen. he’ll laugh at the worst of jokes. fluent in sarcasm. he’s great at seeming more innocent than he is ( a power used for pranks now, but much darker things later ). and yeah, he’s an enabler - his friends do stupid stuff and he doesn’t stop them. but so what? he’s a teenage boy. 

his room is surprisingly neat. would never admit it but he kind of likes cheesy cliches ( he’s watched gone with the wind with his mum enough times he can quote it off by heart ). he wants to be a dashing hero like in the dog eared comic books he still has in a box under his bed. wants to sweep a girl off her feet. wants to be something more than the sidekick, at least once. sometimes he’s trying just a bit too hard to impress other people because he cares a lot more about what other people think of him than he likes to let on. slightly self conscious because he had a growth spurt over the summer – he used to be really short but now he’s all long limbs and stupid grins and dimples and tousled blond hair and he’s grown quite attractive but doesn’t realize it thank god. and hey – that’s just part of his charm. because he is charming. he just doesn’t realise it, compared to james and sirius.

he compares himself to james and sirius a lot. peter has always been prone to insecure thoughts and nervous tics – during exam season his nails are always bitten down to stubs and his skin breaks out. and in the times he’s feeling particularly unhappy with himself he looks to his friends. and this can go either one of two ways – either they make him better and build him up. and really he should be able to do that himself but he’s always been dependent on other people. always. first his parents, then the marauders. or he’s feeling insecure and he looks to his friends and sees how much better they are than him. how unattainable their status is. and he feels like a useless burden, dragging them down. those are his bad days. but they’re relatively infrequent – at least for now.

he has ways to dispel these thoughts. for one, he drinks. not the best coping mechanism, granted, but whiskey burns his throat and the inside of his chest like the fire he always wished he had burning inside of him, and it makes him feel stronger and it makes him feel braver and his friends are drinking with him and soon they’re all laughing and doing stupid shit together and then the alcohol washes away any doubts peter has. and it’s good.

and sometimes he gets into fist fights. he’s gotten better at it over the years, ever since sirius taught him that your thumb isn’t supposed to go inside your fist. he feels strong when he fights, he feels a reckless sort of freedom that’s as close to confidence as he’ll ever get. and sometimes he picks fights he knows he can’t win, but hey, that’s part of the thrill, right? because he also knows that his friends can bail him out, and he also knows that the black eye he’s going to have in the morning will make him look tougher, and people will fuss over him and ask questions. and it’s good.

if you asked peter what the most important thing in the world is to him, he would say his friends. and he would say his family. not once would it ever occur to him to say himself, or his own health or happiness. and i’ll get into this more later, but when the war begins, peter doesn’t betray his friends for himself, at least not at first. in a weird, twisted, misguided way, he does it for them. but again – i’ll get into that later.

he puts a lot of value on interpersonal relationships. and sometimes, that’s a good thing because he values those relationships and cherishes them, and he’s a wonderful friend and very intuitive. he can always tell if someone’s upset, and he’s a great listener. but also sometimes it’s a bad thing how much value he puts on those relationships. because he builds his own personal value off of them, and off how much people like him and support him. like i said – he’s always been dependent. he doesn’t know any way else to be.

and deep down, peter is an optimist. it’s his fatal flaw. how? because no matter how badly things are going, he thinks to himself that it’ll all turn out fine, in the end. something will happen, in the end. someone will save him, in the end. for instance – he has no idea what he wants to do after hogwarts. and sometimes that worries him, but most of the time he pushes it to the back of his mind. he can think about that later. it’ll turn out fine. and when the war starts, and he gets deeper and deeper involved with the death eaters, he refuses to admit how much it scares him and how big of a problem it’s becoming. because in the end, it’ll turn out fine. it always does for the good guys. he never considers that he may not be one of the good guys.

this probably won’t happen in the course of this rp – but he gets involved with the death eaters when it’s looking darkest for the order. and victory is looking certain for the death eaters. so he joins them because he has this stupid, stupid, naive hope that if he joins the death eaters, he can convince them to spare his friends when they inevitably win. he does it for them. and deep down, he knows that that’s not gonna happen, but he pushes it to the back of his mind. because it’ll all turn out fine.

this year is the year his insecurity complex starts to come into play – when everything starts to unravel. it’s a slow process, and it begins with peter’s father. see, peter’s father is dying, but he doesn’t know it yet. no one does. it’s during a doctor’s appointment, a month from now, that william pettigrew will be diagnosed with stage ii pancreatic cancer. he won’t make it. he will die before peter graduates from hogwarts.

peter’s mother will not deal with it well. she will retreat into herself, mourning the death of her husband, and peter will be forced to spend most of the summer after his last year caring for her, while struggling with his own grief. suddenly, peter will go from the doting, loving support of both parents to the support of neither.

so he’ll turn to his friends, desperate, seeking validation and support, but they’re each starting their own lives. there’s a war starting, they’re all beginning their own independent lives but peter – remember, peter has always been dependent. and suddenly, his insecurities are making a surprise comeback. the golden years at hogwarts, what peter will later realize were the best years of his life, are gone, and so is the carefree boy peter used to be.

but anyway. that’s in the future. right now, peter is just a teenage boy like any other, goofy and impulsive and self-conscious.

[marlmckitten]

#2 "He looked at her the way all women want to be looked at by a man" with blackinnon

Thank you~ Same thing as the rest, I am keeping these short since I got more requests than expected. This way I can get to all of them in a more timely matter. Also, I apologize and do not know how this happened but it also turned into a cute little Remadora story as well.

(Prompt list is here and open for any ship or character that I may possibly write for.)

Grimmauld Place was dark, cold and unwelcoming no matter how hard Mrs Weasley had tried to lighten it up. She baked and cooked and put up as many photos as she could, and it hardly seemed to make a difference. Sirius, himself seemed to refuse to go through the house. He never stepped foot upstairs and instead chose to sleep on the couch. Remus watched as his best friend struggled, never once pushing him to visit the rooms upstairs, knowing that may only further trigger his hatred and misery of the place.

However, Remus did ask eventually if he could clean out upstairs, see what he could do to liven the place up, or see if they could find anything actually useful to them. Sirius agreed on the one condition that no one enters his brothers room for any reason at all. Remus nodded and made his way upstairs, an eager Nymphadora Tonks trailing behind him as she tended to do quite often. it was something Remus was still unsure of, but Sirius had given her the approval as well saying that hopefully she will do enough damage to destroy any evidence that the Black’s ever lived here. Of course, this prompted a short playful argument between the two; Tonks claiming that she was clumsy, but not reckless, while Sirius countered saying at least he got to choose when he tore things down.

By the end Tonks was giggling, climbing the stairs with Remus and excitedly entering Sirius’ childhood room. Immediately both Remus and Tonks laughed, there were countless pictures of nude muggle girls plastered to the walls and women on motorcycles and other such things that only a teenaged boy would want glued to every corner of his room.

“I think it was mostly just to piss off his mother,” Remus stated, wandering to the windowsill where there were framed pictures of Sirius and his friends, he picked them up one by one, just to see the smiling faces of the people he had once known so well.

Tonks rolled her eyes, “I don’t blame him, I’d do anything I could to get on her nerves too.”

“You do plenty simply by waking her up with that ridiculous umbrella stand on a daily basis,” Remus retorted, a flirtatious smile on his lips.

She pushed his arm playfully, causing him to stumble onto Sirius’ old bed, one of the photo’s still in hand.

Tonks took a seat next to him, peering at the photo he was holding onto, “Who are they?” She asked curiously of the group of girls. “Well, besides Lily Potter.”

“Anyone in the wizarding world would recognize Lily in a heartbeat, wouldn’t they?” Remus mused to himself, knowing full well that Tonks never would have met the talented witch. “These were some other members of the order, but this was taken while we were still in school. I’m kind of surprised he has this one actually.” Remus looked sadly over his friends faces. “This was taken in our fifth year, judging by Mary’s haircut, I don’t know why she thought she could pull that off,” he pointed to the girl on the edge, before naming them in the same order the appeared in the photograph. “Dorcas Meadowes, she was one of my favourite people to talk to. Lily, as you know. And that one on the end is Marlene McKinnon.”

“I’ve seen her before,” Tonks stated, “McKinnon. You had a bunch of photo’s of her one day, didn’t you?”

Remus’ bittersweet smile faltered and he nodded, “You’re nosy, aren’t you?” He teased, but his heart wasn’t in his words. “I brought all the photos I had with her in it to Sirius one night, after he asked if I had any. Those two were a force to be reckoned with. It broke his heart when she died.”

“Who was she?” Tonks asked quietly, almost afraid of the answer.

“She was the only person I have ever seen Sirius fall so deeply in love with. He had his share of women- and sometimes men- but once him and Marlene started going together, his eyes never even noticed anyone else. He looked at her the way all women want to be looked at by a man. And she absolutely adored him. It was all in their eyes though, both too proud to admit their feelings and too arrogant to see how badly they needed each other. It took an obnoxiously long time before they even told to the rest of us that they were seeing each other and even then they said they were ‘friends with benefits.’” Remus shook his head at the memory. “It wasn’t until the war started that they finally admitted that they loved each other. The fear of our friends dying all around us, forced the truth out. Unfortunately her and her whole family were taken though. I think Sirius blames himself. He seemed to have this idea that if she hadn’t had been dating him, then the Death Eaters would not have been so determined to get to her. We were all in danger then though, it did not matter who you were.”

“I could have done a better job protecting her though.” Sirius’ voice came from the doorway. He was leaning just barely into the doorframe as if entering the room in front of him would transport him back to his horrible past. “I know you’re going to say there was nothing I can do, Moony, but I have had twelve years in a cell to think about it.”

Tonks watched Remus open and close his mouth, deciding that it was not worth it to fight with Sirius on this one. Finally he came to a different conclusion, “She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”

“Bitch McKitten? You sure about that?” Sirius chortled, “She told me that if she died I had better think of her every day for the rest of my life. That I should get a tattoo of her and die bitter and alone.”

Now Remus laughed as well, the tension in the room breaking, “That sounds like her. But I’m sure she didn’t mean it, Sirius.”

“Nah, of course not. But how would I move on anyway? I had the most perfect woman in the world, why would I want anyone else?”

There was silence, Tonks felt like she should not be there at all, but it did not stop her from talking, “She is really beautiful. Why don’t you ever mention her?”

She felt Remus’ eyes on her, questioning why she would have asked something like that. But Sirius didn’t seem to mind. “It hurts,” he shrugged simply, “Just thinking about her hurts. You know, I was gonna propose to her, on my birthday. Thought it might take her by surprise. But she was murdered, plus I was arrested by then so I guess there really was no chance of us ever working out. I should have at least told her how I felt though, properly. But I was never very good at that back then.”

“She knew though,” Remus interrupted Sirius’ thoughts. “There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that you didn’t love her with everything you had. You two were meant for each other.”

Sirius shook his head, his tongue running over his lips as his eyes fell down to examine his hands. Tonks could tell that he was done talking about her now, his eyes twitched and glazed over with tears threatening to fall. But he took a breath and looked Remus straight in the eye. “I should have told her. You shouldn’t leave your love unspoken. There is never a good enough reason.”

Sirius took his leave after that and Tonks felt something else in the air. Remus moved awkwardly and Tonks chewed on her lip, “You know… I think he was talking about-”

“He gets very emotional talking about Marlene. I’m going to go and check on him.” And he left just as quickly as Sirius had, leaving Tonks alone in Sirius bedroom. She looked at the picture of the girls, smiling happily, thinking they had their whole lives ahead of them. And she knew that her thoughts should be with them and with Sirius after hearing about his past. But the way he left the room, her mind switched right back to Remus and wondering if he would ever acknowledge the connection the two of them shared. By the sounds of it Sirius on on her side, the last thing Tonks wanted was for them to wait until it was too late like the beautiful blonde haired girl in the picture had done with the love of her life.

[pettigrw]

whats up fellas, its bee again, bringing to You my son peter pettigrew !! i am , ,... v v soft for this boi, i have been writing him for .. over 4 years now ?? wow ???? and im super super excited to bring him to you so !! please love him ( & me ) and without further Ado find out more under the cut  

the trees unloose their soft arms from around ( peter pettigrew ) — ( he ) reminds me of ( laughter breaking the stillness of a suburban summer night, coughing on whiskey and cigarettes, running a restless hand through messy blond hair, the soft ticking of a grandfather clock, bruised knuckles stuffed in the pockets of scuffed jeans. the golden rays of the late afternoon sun. quick glances seeking approval, a cheeky grin once it’s been earned. dog eared comic books in a cardboard box under your bed, feet dangling over the edge of the roof, staring down the stars, wanting to be a hero but not quite knowing how ). a ( seventh ) year ( gryffindor ), the ( escapist ) is known for being being ( intuitive ) & ( facetious ), however ( foolhardy ) & ( self-doubting ). rumour has it that the ( seventeen ) year old ( tarjei sandvik moe ) doppleganger is seizing their moment by siding with the ( order ).

pinterest board !!

character insp includes xander harris ( btvs ), adam parrish ( the raven cycle ), peter parker ( mcu ), ron weasley ( am i using a harry potter character as inspiration for another harry potter character? maybe )

peter pettigrew. born in sheffield, england to a muggle father and a magical mother. he lived in a small brick house with old fashioned furniture. his family has always been catholic so he dressed up and went to church every sunday. he was an only child, and it showed – his parents adored him and coddled him from the moment he was born.

perhaps because of this, or perhaps because he was a wizard, he didn’t really click with the muggle kids in his neighbourhood. he was more a mama’s boy, helping his mother dust and vacuum and fold the laundry and set the table for supper every day. his parents were worried that he wasn’t a very social child, and that he wouldn’t make many friends at hogwarts. they even considered holding him back a year, but ultimately decided against it.

but lo and behold, when he went to hogwarts he made friends! remus, sirius and james to be specific. and it was gr8 and they brought out this whole other side of him that he’d never shown before

this mischievous, snarky boy who’ll “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am” your mum to her face but just as soon make a “your mom” joke when she’s out of earshot. his smile is either shy and endearing or the cheekiest lil shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen. he’ll laugh at the worst of jokes. fluent in sarcasm. he’s great at seeming more innocent than he is ( a power used for pranks now, but much darker things later ). and yeah, he’s an enabler - his friends do stupid stuff and he doesn’t stop them. but so what? he’s a teenage boy.

his room is surprisingly neat. would never admit it but he kind of likes cheesy cliches ( he’s watched gone with the wind with his mum enough times he can quote it off by heart ). he wants to be a dashing hero like in the dog eared comic books he still has in a box under his bed. wants to sweep a girl off her feet. wants to be something more than the sidekick, at least once. sometimes he’s trying just a bit too hard to impress other people because he cares a lot more about what other people think of him than he likes to let on. slightly self conscious because he had a growth spurt over the summer – he used to be really short but now he’s all long limbs and stupid grins and dimples and tousled blond hair and he’s grown quite attractive but doesn’t realize it thank god. and hey – that’s just part of his charm. because he is charming. he just doesn’t realise it compared to james and sirius.

he compares himself to james and sirius a lot. peter has always been prone to insecure thoughts and nervous tics – during exam season his nails are always bitten down to stubs and his skin breaks out. and in the times he’s feeling particularly unhappy with himself he looks to his friends. and this can go either one of two ways – either they make him better and build him up. and really he should be able to do that himself but he’s always been dependent on other people. always. first his parents, then the marauders. or he’s feeling insecure and he looks to his friends and sees how much better they are than him. how unattainable their status is. and he feels like a useless burden, dragging them down. those are his bad days. but they’re relatively infrequent – at least for now.

he has ways to dispel these thoughts. for one, he drinks. not the best coping mechanism, granted, but whiskey burns his throat and the inside of his chest like the fire he always wished he had burning inside of him, and it makes him feel stronger and it makes him feel braver and his friends are drinking with him and soon they’re all laughing and doing stupid shit together and then the alcohol washes away any doubts peter has. and it’s good.

and sometimes he gets into fist fights. he’s gotten better at it over the years, ever since sirius taught him that your thumb isn’t supposed to go inside your fist. he feels strong when he fights, he feels a reckless sort of freedom that’s as close to confidence as he’ll ever get. and sometimes he picks fights he knows he can’t win, but hey, that’s part of the thrill, right? because he also knows that his friends can bail him out, and he also knows that the black eye he’s going to have in the morning will make him look tougher, and people will fuss over him and ask questions. and it’s good.

if you asked peter what the most important thing in the world is to him, he would say his friends. and he would say his family. not once would it ever occur to him to say himself, or his own health or happiness. and i’ll get into this more later, but when the war begins, peter doesn’t betray his friends for himself, at least not at first. in a weird, twisted, misguided way, he does it for them. but again – i’ll get into that later.

he puts a lot of value on interpersonal relationships. and sometimes, that’s a good thing because he values those relationships and cherishes them, and he’s a wonderful friend and very intuitive. he can always tell if someone’s upset, and he’s a great listener. but also sometimes it’s a bad thing how much value he puts on those relationships. because he builds his own personal value off of them, and off how much people like him and support him. like i said – he’s always been dependent. he doesn’t know any way else to be.

and deep down, peter is an optimist. it’s his fatal flaw. how? because no matter how badly things are going, he thinks to himself that it’ll all turn out fine, in the end. something will happen, in the end. someone will save him, in the end. for instance – he has no idea what he wants to do after hogwarts. and sometimes that worries him, but most of the time he pushes it to the back of his mind. he can think about that later. it’ll turn out fine. and when the war starts, and he gets deeper and deeper involved with the death eaters, he refuses to admit how much it scares him and how big of a problem it’s becoming. because in the end, it’ll turn out fine. it always does for the good guys. he never considers that he may not be one of the good guys.

this probably won’t happen in the course of this rp ( and honestly ??? maybe hopefully never happens -- who knows, its an au rp .. ,,,... ... ) but he gets involved with the death eaters when it’s looking darkest for the order. and victory is looking certain for the death eaters. so he joins them because he has this stupid, stupid, naive hope that if he joins the death eaters, he can convince them to spare his friends when they inevitably win. he does it for them. and deep down, he knows that that’s not gonna happen, but he pushes it to the back of his mind. because it’ll all turn out fine.

[ TW CANCER, DEATH ] this year is the year his insecurity complex starts to come into play – when everything starts to unravel. it’s a slow process, and it begins with peter’s father. see, peter’s father is dying, but he doesn’t know it yet. no one does. it’s during a doctor’s appointment, a month from now, that william pettigrew will be diagnosed with stage ii pancreatic cancer. he won’t make it. he will die before peter graduates from hogwarts.

peter’s mother will not deal with it well. she will retreat into herself, mourning the death of her husband, and peter will be forced to spend most of the summer after his last year caring for her, while struggling with his own grief. suddenly, peter will go from the doting, loving support of both parents to the support of neither.

so he’ll turn to his friends, desperate, seeking validation and support, but they’re each starting their own lives. there’s a war starting, they’re all beginning their own independent lives but peter – remember, peter has always been dependent. and suddenly, his insecurities are making a surprise comeback. the golden years at hogwarts, what peter will later realize were the best years of his life, are gone, and so is the carefree boy peter used to be.

but anyway. that’s the canon future. like i said, au rp, who knows what’ll happen?? could order!peter emerge???? will peter be able to deal with his growing insecurity complex in a healthy way??? stay tuned folks

either way though, right now peter is just a normal teenage boy, impulsive and goofy and self-conscious 

[pcttigrew]

its bee back again with the ball of insecurities and sass that is peter pettigrew wyd 

did someone just say they saw KEIYNAN LONSDALE on the hogwarts express ?? never mind — it’s just that SEVENTH year GRYFFINDOR, PETER PETTIGREW. he’s pretty INTUITIVE + FACETIOUS, but one of the portraits whispered to me that he’s also FOOLHARDY + SELF-DOUBTING. anyways, i hear they PLAN ON entering the tournament!

(    laughter breaking the stillness of a suburban summer night, coughing on whiskey and cigarettes, running a restless hand over close-cropped hair, the soft ticking of a grandfather clock, bruised knuckles stuffed in the pockets of scuffed jeans. the golden rays of the late afternoon sun. quick glances seeking approval, a cheeky grin once it’s been earned. dog eared comic books in a cardboard box under your bed, feet dangling over the edge of the roof, staring down the stars, wanting to be a hero but not quite knowing how.   )

PINTEREST BOARD ! 

been playing pete for over 4 years now but this is my first time playing him with a keiynan fc so be gentle sjflkdsjf

PETER PETTIGREW. born in sheffield, england to a muggle father and a magical mother. he lived in a small brick house with old fashioned furniture. his family has always been catholic so he dressed up and went to church every sunday. he was an only child, and it showed – his parents adored him and coddled him from the moment he was born.

perhaps because of this, or perhaps because he was a wizard, he didn’t really click with the muggle kids in his neighbourhood. he was more a mama’s boy, helping his mother dust and vacuum and fold the laundry and set the table for supper every day. his parents were worried that he wasn’t a very social child, and that he wouldn’t make many friends at hogwarts. they even considered holding him back a year, but ultimately decided against it.

but lo and behold, when he went to hogwarts he made friends! remus, sirius and james to be specific. and it was gr8 and they brought out this whole other side of him that he’d never shown before

this mischievous, snarky boy who’ll “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am” your mum to her face but just as soon make a “your mom” joke when she’s out of earshot. his smile is either shy and endearing or the cheekiest lil shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen. he’ll laugh at the worst of jokes. fluent in sarcasm. he’s great at seeming more innocent than he is ( a power used for pranks now, but much darker things later ). and yeah, he’s an enabler - his friends do stupid stuff and he doesn’t stop them. but so what? he’s a teenage boy.

his room is surprisingly neat. would never admit it but he kind of likes cheesy cliches ( he’s watched gone with the wind with his mum enough times he can quote it off by heart ). he wants to be a dashing hero like in the dog eared comic books he still has in a box under his bed. wants to sweep a girl off her feet. wants to be something more than the sidekick, at least once. sometimes he’s trying just a bit too hard to impress other people because he cares a lot more about what other people think of him than he likes to let on. slightly self conscious because he had a growth spurt over the summer – he used to be really short but now he’s all long limbs and stupid grins and dimples and he’s grown quite attractive but doesn’t realize it thank god. and hey – that’s just part of his charm. because he is charming. he just doesn’t realise it compared to james and sirius.

he compares himself to james and sirius a lot. peter has always been prone to insecure thoughts and nervous tics – during exam season his nails are always bitten down to stubs and his skin breaks out. and in the times he’s feeling particularly unhappy with himself he looks to his friends. and this can go either one of two ways – either they make him better and build him up. and really he should be able to do that himself but he’s always been dependent on other people. always. first his parents, then the marauders. OR he’s feeling insecure and he looks to his friends and sees how much better they are than him. how unattainable their status is. and he feels like a useless burden, dragging them down. those are his bad days. but they’re relatively infrequent – at least for now.

he has ways to dispel these thoughts. for one, he drinks. not the best coping mechanism, granted, but whiskey burns his throat and the inside of his chest like the fire he always wished he had burning inside of him, and it makes him feel stronger and it makes him feel braver and his friends are drinking with him and soon they’re all laughing and doing stupid shit together and then the alcohol washes away any doubts peter has. and it’s good.

and sometimes he gets into fist fights. he’s gotten better at it over the years, ever since sirius taught him that your thumb isn’t supposed to go inside your fist. he feels strong when he fights, he feels a reckless sort of freedom that’s as close to confidence as he’ll ever get. and sometimes he picks fights he knows he can’t win, but hey, that’s part of the thrill, right? because he also knows that his friends can bail him out, and he also knows that the black eye he’s going to have in the morning will make him look tougher, and people will fuss over him and ask questions. and it’s good.

if you asked peter what the most important thing in the world is to him, he would say his friends. and he would say his family. not once would it ever occur to him to say himself, or his own health or happiness. and i’ll get into this more later, but when the war begins, peter doesn’t betray his friends for himself, at least not at first. in a weird, twisted, misguided way, he does it for them. but again – i’ll get into that later.

he puts a lot of value on interpersonal relationships. and sometimes, that’s a good thing because he values those relationships and cherishes them, and he’s a wonderful friend and very intuitive. he can always tell if someone’s upset, and he’s a great listener. but also sometimes it’s a bad thing how much value he puts on those relationships. because he builds his own personal value off of them, and off how much people like him and support him. like i said – he’s always been dependent. he doesn’t know any way else to be.

and deep down, peter is an optimist. it’s his fatal flaw. how? because no matter how badly things are going, he thinks to himself that it’ll all turn out fine, in the end. something will happen, in the end. someone will save him, in the end. for instance – he has no idea what he wants to do after hogwarts. and sometimes that worries him, but most of the time he pushes it to the back of his mind. he can think about that later. it’ll turn out fine. and when the war starts, and he gets deeper and deeper involved with the death eaters, he refuses to admit how much it scares him and how big of a problem it’s becoming. because in the end, it’ll turn out fine. it always does for the good guys. he never considers that he may not be one of the good guys.

this is far far in the future and almost definitely wont happen in this rp but just to talk abt the motivation behind his betrayal --- he gets involved with the death eaters when it’s looking darkest for the order. and victory is looking certain for the death eaters. so he joins them because he has this stupid, stupid, naive hope that if he joins the death eaters, he can convince them to spare his friends when they inevitably win. he does it for them. and deep down, he knows that that’s not gonna happen, but he pushes it to the back of his mind. because it’ll all turn out fine.

[ TW CANCER, DEATH ] this year is the year his insecurity complex starts to come into play – when everything starts to unravel. it’s a slow process, and it begins with peter’s father. see, peter’s father is dying, but he doesn’t know it yet. no one does. it’s during a doctor’s appointment, a month from now, that william pettigrew will be diagnosed with stage ii pancreatic cancer. he won’t make it. he will die before peter graduates from hogwarts.

peter’s mother will not deal with it well. she will retreat into herself, mourning the death of her husband, and peter will be forced to spend most of the summer after his last year caring for her, while struggling with his own grief. suddenly, peter will go from the doting, loving support of both parents to the support of neither.

so he’ll turn to his friends, desperate, seeking validation and support, but they’re each starting their own lives. there’s a war starting, they’re all beginning their own independent lives but peter – remember, peter has always been dependent. and suddenly, his insecurities are making a surprise comeback. the golden years at hogwarts, what peter will later realize were the best years of his life, are gone, and so is the carefree boy peter used to be.

but anyway. that’s the canon future. but like, au rp, triwizard tournament, who knows what’ll happen?? could order!peter emerge???? will peter be able to deal with his growing insecurity complex in a healthy way??? stay tuned folks

either way though, right now peter is just a normal teenage boy, impulsive and goofy and self-conscious, excited about the tournament like the rest of the school, dreaming of glory and adventure