#like seriously youre doing a job that actually impacts peoples lives and you get to lighten the days of those who might really need it

[tony-andonuts]

Wouldnt it be fuckin wild if i wasnt bullied and threatened to the point of losing all opportunities into college and instead of workblogging i was schoolblogging?

[newobsessionweekly]

Diamonds and dreams

Tim Bradford x Buckley!reader

Crossover The Rookie x 911

Fandoms: The Rookie, 911

Summary: Tim teams up with your brother, Buck, to plan the proposal. You get hurt in the process, unintentionally, but it's for a good cause.

A/N: Another crossover, and I don't think I'll stop here. I love so much both Tim and Buck. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this and I'm open for requests! I'm sorry if I made some mistakes while writing, english is not my first language, but I'm trying to improve. Thank you so much for your support so far. Take care of yourselves, bubs! I appreciate everything single one of you! Lots of love! ❤️

Warnings: Swearing ? Maybe. Bunch of fluff and banter anyways. Not proofread yet

Fluff | A bit of angst

Requested: No

Words: 4.9k

Requests are open for Tim and Buck.

GIF not mine, credits to the owner.

For the past three years, your life took unexpected twists, one after one. You didn't know back then how impactful a police officer doing his job would be to your life. You never expected to fall for the all-so-serious officer, whose indignation spoke volumes in the presence of firefighters.

Tim had only one opinion about the other branch of first responders — reckless, not so sharp, and definitely idiots, but they mean well. That was before meeting you.

After a massive earthquake hit LA, the chaos that followed can't be described. People running around looking for the close ones, screaming, and a lot of pain. LAPD was sent on the streets to maintain order while LAFD rushed to rescue everyone in need. They were hand in hand and, for the first time in his life, Tim was following the orders of a firefighter— you.

He complained at first, but when he understood you were more than a reckless woman, he obeyed. Back then, Tim saw in you a seriousness that made him eat his words. The way you pushed yourself aside for the safety of the civilians, the way you disobeyed the book in a risky situation, questioning everything you knew for the people. You allowed him to help, and he was there by your side the whole time, mesmerised by the way you gave everything you had, pushed away any fear and doubts and crawled into wrecked precincts to save every single one of them.

There was a huge difference between the two branches of first responders. LAPD was trained to save the law, maintain order, protect the vulnerable and punish the guilty, while LAFD was trained to protect and save regarding the guilty and they've seen unimaginable things, making them aware the life is short and you need to cherish it every second.

And when you showed him that ugly side of your job, Tim never saw you the same again. Drawn by your determination and dedication to save every soul and by your love and beauty you carried around, he fell for you, hard.

But he never accepted the real dangers of your job. Actually, he never accepted that your dedication was so profound, that you'd give your life to save another without second thoughts. He couldn't bare the thought of losing you some day due to your 'dedication'.

You’re both standing in the middle of the living room, the air thick with tension that’s been building for weeks. Tonight’s argument was inevitable, ignited by the underlying fear and frustration that’s been simmering beneath the surface.

Tim’s heart pounds in his chest as he looks at you, his concern turning into frustration. He knows that firefighting is dangerous, but seeing you take unnecessary risks feels like a constant weight on his shoulders.

“Damn it, Y/N!” he exclaims, his voice loud and filled with anger. “You can’t keep ignoring orders and putting yourself in danger! You’re a firefighter, not a one-woman hero team!”

You clench your fists, feeling defensive, his words sounding like an accusation. “I know what I’m doing, Tim. Sometimes you have to take risks to save lives.”

“Fire isn’t something predictable,” Tim interjects, his voice firm. “When you're dealing with an armed suspect, you can see the next move in his eyes. But with fire? It's nothing like that and, when it happens, it's probably too late."

His words cut deep, and tears fill your eyes as you try to make him understand. You feel misunderstood, judged, and it hurts.

“Predictable or not, I trust my instincts,” you shoot back, your voice shaking. “Sometimes you have to go with your gut, Tim, not just follow orders blindly.”

"But at what cost?” Tim retorts, his face flushed with frustration. “How many times do we have to argue about this before you realize that you’re not invincible?”

Your eyes fill with tears, the weight of his words hitting you hard. “I’m not saying I’m invincible,” you reply, tears streaming down your face. “I just believe in doing whatever it takes to save lives, even if it means bending the rules sometimes.”

“Bending the rules?” Tim’s voice cracks, hurt evident in his expression. “Y/N, this isn’t a game. Lives are at stake, including yours!”

You’re openly crying now, the tears blurring your vision as you try to make him understand. “I need you to trust me, Tim. Trust that I know what I’m doing.”

“I need to be able to trust that you’ll come home safely,” Tim says, his voice softer now, filled with genuine concern. “I can’t keep worrying every time you’re on shift, wondering if you’re going to make it home in one piece.”

"But this is who I am, Tim. I can’t change that.”

Tim’s thoughts swirl with a mix of love, fear, and frustration as he watches you, torn between wanting to protect you and knowing he can’t control your choices. “I need some time to think,” he finally says, his voice filled with resignation.

Without another word, you grab your bag and head for the door, leaving Tim standing alone in the living room, his face a mask of regret and worry. As you make your way to Lucy’s apartment, the weight of the argument pressing down on you, you can’t shake the feeling that something has changed between you and Tim, something that might be impossible to repair.

You stand before Lucy’s door, eyes red-rimmed and cheeks streaked with tears. With a shaky breath, you knock softly as your heart is pounding in your chest. The door swings open to reveal Lucy’s shocked face, her eyes widening at your disheveled appearance.

“Y/N? What the hell happened?” Lucy’s voice is filled with concern as she wraps you in a comforting embrace, feeling the tension in your body.

Tamara rushes in, eyes wide with worry. "Are you okay?”

As Lucy's comforting embrace envelops you, a mixture of relief and despair washes over you. You lean into her warmth, grateful for the solace she provides amidst the chaos of your emotions. Tamara's worried expression only adds to the weight of the situation, highlighting the gravity of the rift between you and Tim.

"I’m so sorry,” you stammer, tears threatening anew. “I didn’t know where else to go. I can't go to Buck like this and –"”

Lucy steps back, creating space for you to enter, "You're always welcome here, Y/N. You know that."

Lucy leads you to the couch and wraps her arm around your shoulders as you found a small measure of comfort in her presence. The unspoken understanding between you eases some of the ache in your heart, reminding you that you're not alone in this struggle.

Tamara places a comforting hand on your knee, her eyes filled with empathy as Lucy spoke, “Come on, tell us what happened."

You take a shaky breath, trying to steady your voice as you recount the intense argument with Tim. “We had a fight, a really bad one. He said he needed some time to think.”

Your love for Tim is boundless, a deep-rooted connection that fills your heart with warmth and joy. Every moment spent with him is a treasure, each shared smile and whispered promise a testament to the depth of your affection. And being so far from him, it was a nightmare. Leaving so abruptly, both of your anger and frustration bottled inside, this tore you apart.

Tamara’s eyes narrow, her tone incredulous. “Tim said that? What could possibly have happened?”

“He thinks I’m reckless, that I put myself and my team in danger,” you explain, the sting of his words still fresh in your mind.

The pain of your fight weighs heavily on your soul, a sharp ache that refuses to fade. His words cut deep, leaving you reeling with a sense of loss and betrayal. The thought of losing him, of facing a future without his love, is almost unbearable.

Lucy shakes her head, her eyes filled with empathy. “Tim’s always been by-the-book. He values rules and order. But being a firefighter isn’t always black and white.”

You nod, wiping away tears with the back of your hand. “Exactly. But he just won't listen.”

Lucy sighs, her eyes softening with understanding. “Tim loves you. He’s just scared. Scared of losing you.” She can see the pain in your eyes, the uncertainty about the future of your relationship.

“I know,” you sniffle, trying to hold back the tears. “But it’s not just about him being scared. It’s about understanding who I am and what I do.”

Tamara nods, her expression thoughtful. “Sometimes love isn’t enough, Y/N. Sometimes two people can love each other deeply but still be incompatible in some ways.”

“I don’t want to lose him,” you say, feeling the weight of her words. “But I also don’t want to lose myself.” You grapple with the conflicting emotions, torn between love and self-respect.

Lucy chuckles softly, trying to lighten the mood. She stands up, heading to the kitchen to prepare some tea. “You won't lose him. He’s stubborn as hell, but he loves you. You know that."

Tamara smirks, leaning back on the couch. “Well, men are from Mars, right? We’ll never fully understand them.”

Lucy laughs, raising her hands in mock surrender. “True that. But hey, if anyone can knock some sense into Tim, it’s you, Y/N.”

Tamara smirks, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she leans back on the couch. “You know, Y/N, I like you more and more. Just so you know, everything you’ve said tonight will be used against Tim tomorrow.” She winks playfully, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. “Lucy’s going to make his shift a living hell.”

Lucy chuckles, her eyes dancing with amusement. “Oh, you bet I will. He won’t know what hit him.” She laughs, the tension in the room further dissipating with their playful banter.

You can’t help but laugh along with them, grateful for the light-hearted moment amidst the emotional chaos. “Just promise me you’ll go easy on him. He’s still my guy, after all.”

Yet, even in the midst of your despair, your love for him remains steadfast. It is a beacon of hope in the darkness, a guiding light that keeps you tethered to him, even when the distance between you feels insurmountable.

Tamara raises an eyebrow, her grin widening. “No promises,” Lucy says with a playful shrug.

You shake your head, chuckling at their antics. “Alright, alright. Just remember, I’ll have to deal with him after you two are done.”

After a moment of silence, Tamara's face brightens, an idea forming. “You know what we need? A girls’ night. We could all use a little distraction, right?”

Lucy grins, nodding in agreement. “Absolutely. Some wine, some movies, and some girl talk. It’s just what the doctor ordered.”

You smile weakly, grateful for their support. “That sounds nice.”

Meanwhile, across town, Tim and Buck find themselves in the comfort of Tim's living room. With beers in hand and the soft glow of the TV providing background noise, both men seem to have left the weight of the day behind them, engrossed in their own world of laughter and banter.

But Tim's thoughts are consumed by the image of you, tears staining your cheeks as you walked out the door. Each memory of your tearful departure cuts him deeply, a sharp pang of guilt and sorrow gnawing at his heart.

Buck takes a swig of his beer, glancing over at him with a curious expression. “So, how did the fight go?”

Tim sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I think I overstepped a little. She was crying and she left. It broke me to see her like that and let her go."

Seeing you hurt because of him breaks him in ways he never imagined. He would give anything to erase the hurt he's caused, to mend the fractures in your relationship. But he knows that sometimes love requires sacrifice, even if it means bearing the weight of your pain.

Buck nods understandingly, setting his beer down on the coffee table. "It's all part of the plan, Tim. We knew it would be tough, but it's for the best." He tries to reassure Tim, understanding the struggle his friend is going through.

Tim looks at Buck, gratitude in his eyes. "I know, I know. It's just hard, you know? Seeing her hurt and knowing I'm the cause of it, even if it's for a good reason."

Buck places a comforting hand on Tim's shoulder. "At least this will buy us some time. Where's she now?"

Tim smiles slightly, the tension easing from his shoulders. "At Lucy's. She texted me when Y/N got there. She'll be crashing on Lucy's couch."

Buck chuckles, picking up his beer again. "Good, at least she's safe. Lucy will take care of her. She always does."

Tim nods, a grateful smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, Lucy's been great. I'm glad she's there for Y/N."

The two men sit in companionable silence for a moment, the weight of their secret plan hanging in the air between them. It's a plan born out of love and a desire to create the perfect proposal for you, but it comes with its own set of challenges and emotions.

Buck's voice is filled with excitement. "You know, once all of this is over, and you've proposed, it's going to be amazing. Y/N is going to be over the moon."

Tim smiles, the vision of his future with you filling his mind. "I know, Buck. I can't wait to make her my wife."

Amidst the pain, there's a profound love that anchors him, a love so deep it eclipses the darkness of your current strife. You're more than just his partner; you're his rock, his solace, his reason for waking up each day with a smile. Your laughter brightens his darkest moments, your touch soothes his weary soul, and your presence fills his life with a sense of purpose and joy he never thought possible.

The two men raise their beers in a toast, their smiles reflecting the hope and love that fills their hearts.

Tim glances over at Lucy, his voice filled with concern. "How's Y/N holding up? I haven't heard from her since that night."

He can't shake the self-loathing that grips him, the regret for letting things escalate to this point.

Lucy raises an eyebrow, a playful smirk on her lips. "A bit pissed at you, but she's safe."

"I hate myself for that. I really don't like this whole...situation. Especially letting her go and forcing her to sleep on your couch."

He never wanted to hurt you, never intended for things to unravel like this. And the idea of you sleeping on Lucy's couch, away from him, fills him with a sense of emptiness he can't bear.

She chuckles softly, her tone teasing. "You could've called, you know. Women like that kind of thing."

Tim lets out a sigh, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, I figured as much. I just thought... well, some space might be good."

Lucy's teasing only adds to his discomfort, her playful jabs hitting a little too close to home. He knows he should have done a lot of things, but fear and uncertainty held him back, clouding his judgment with doubt.

Lucy raises an eyebrow, “Space, huh? Sounds like a classic Bradford move. But you might want to pick up the phone. Y/N deserves to know you’re not pushing her away.”

Tim chuckles, shaking his head. "Trust me, I plan to. I just needed some time to... you know, plan everything out, to get it right."

Lucy grins, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "But you better make this worth it, you hear me?" She nudges him playfully. "And soon. She might love you and might be willing to wait for you, but don't test her patience."

Tim smiles, gratitude evident in his gaze. "I will, Lucy. And thanks, for everything."

Lucy waves him off with a chuckle. "Don't mention it. Just remember to thank me after she says yes." She winks at him, her smile warm and supportive.

You've been camping on the girls' couch for the past three days. It wasn't all that bad; some time off work was just what you needed, and your fight with Tim allowed you to sort through some old stuff.

When you were about to drift off to sleep again, Lucy burst into the living room. "Alright, couch potato, time to get up!”

You groaned, pulling a pillow over your face. “Five more minutes, Lucy.”

With a chuckle, Lucy yanked the pillow away and extended her hand. “Come on, Y/N. It’s time to get some fresh air. You can’t stay on my couch forever.”

Reluctantly, you accepted Lucy’s help to sit up. “What happened to ‘you’re always welcome here’? My free stay at Hotel Lucy is over?”

Lucy laughed. “Exactly. It’s check-out time, Missy.”

You smirked, slipping on your sneakers. "Well, send the bill to Bradford; he's the only one at fault for this."

With her keys in hand, Lucy grinned. “How about a ride along? A little patrol action might be good for you.”

Raising an eyebrow teasingly, you countered, “Trying to get rid of me, Lucy?”

She chuckled. “Just trying to help you get some fresh air. And maybe a little distraction.”

As you reluctantly rose from the comfort of Lucy's couch, a whirlwind of emotions churned within you. The past few days had been a rollercoaster of hurt, confusion, and a desperate longing to mend things with Tim. But amidst the chaos, there was a glimmer of hope – hope that today could mark the beginning of reconciliation, of healing the wounds that had torn you apart.

“Alright, alright. But only because I’m craving some fresh, questionable coffee from the station.”

“Deal. But you’re buying the donuts!” Lucy teased.

“Deal. But only if they have sprinkles.”

Suddenly, Lucy stopped and appraised you, shaking her head. “Oh no, no. You can’t possibly leave the house like that. Off to the shower with you, you’re starting to smell like my couch.”

Stepping into the shower, the warm water washing away the remnants of doubt and insecurity as you made a silent vow to yourself. Today would be the beginning of a new chapter for you both, a chance to rebuild what had been broken and to forge a stronger, more resilient bond.

You returned to find some of your clothes laid out on the couch, courtesy of Lucy and Tamara. Raising an eyebrow, you turned to Lucy. “Don’t you think that’s a little bit extra?”

It wasn't exactly what you'd wear for patrolling, but considering Tim probably handed them to Lucy, you couldn't really complain.

Just then, Tamara emerged from her bedroom with a smirk. “You should be thankful I didn’t pick the outfit.”

You chuckled, wondering why she wasn’t at school. “Fair enough. Shouldn’t you be at school by now?”

Tamara waved it off, pulling out her makeup kit. “I’ll miss the first period to do your makeup. You owe me.”

Sighing, you looked between Lucy and Tamara. “Come on, girls. It’s just a day of patrolling. Nothing special.”

Lucy shook her head, her eyes serious. “No, hun. Today you’ll be right next to Tim. Breathing in his neck. You need to show him what he’s missing.”

The engine's soft hum reverberates through the car as Tim navigates the streets, the tension inside as thick as the fog rolling in from the bay. Lucy rides shotgun, her mischievous glances back at you adding to the palpable unease. Seated in the back, you stare out the window, attempting to distract yourself with the passing scenery, anything to escape the suffocating silence.

Lucy's voice cuts through the tension like a knife, her cheeriness a stark contrast to the heavy atmosphere. "Hey, Bradford," she chirps. "How about we make a quick stop for some coffee and donuts? My treat."

Tim's eyes flicker to the rearview mirror, briefly meeting yours before he nods. "Sure, sounds good."

Pulling into a local coffee shop's parking lot, Lucy practically leaps out of the car, leaving you and Tim alone for a fleeting moment.

"You could've called," you murmur softly, finally breaking the suffocating silence. "Three days, Tim."

Tim's grip tightens on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. "I know, Y/N. I'm sorry. It's... it's complicated."

Before you can delve deeper, Lucy returns with a tray laden with coffee and a box of donuts. She hands you a cup before settling into her seat, her eyes glinting with an inscrutable knowingness.

As Tim lifts his coffee to his lips, you notice the slight tremble in his hand. "Everything okay, Tim?" Lucy inquires, her innocence a thin veil over her ulterior motives.

Tim clears his throat, averting his gaze. "Yeah, just a bit tired, I guess."

Lucy's smirk is unmistakable as she reaches for a donut. "Well, these should help with that."

Taking a sip of your coffee, you feel its warmth spreading through you, but it does little to dispel the tension in the air. However, there's a shift—a subtle change in the atmosphere. The silence is no longer suffocating; instead, it's pregnant with anticipation, each breath heavy with unspoken words.

Finally, Tim speaks, his voice laced with vulnerability. "Y/N, about the fight... I never meant to hurt you. I just needed some time to sort things out."

You meet his gaze, the sincerity in his eyes tugging at something deep within you. There's a weight to his words, a heaviness that speaks volumes about the distress he's been wrestling with.

As the shop continues its journey, the tension remains, but it's tempered now by a sense of curiosity and cautious hope. Unbeknownst to you, Tim's anxiety isn't solely about your relationship, and Lucy's scheming grin betrays her satisfaction with how her plan is unfolding.

Throughout the day, Tim's behavior had been perplexing, he carefully avoided any calls that hinted at danger. It felt as though he was intentionally shielding you from harm, a protective barrier wrapped around you even as you yearned for the adrenaline rush of the job.

But the tranquility of the day shattered with Nolan's urgent call for backup. The gravity of the situation hit you like a sledgehammer, sending a jolt of adrenaline coursing through your veins.

“Dispatch, this is Officer Nolan, requesting backup at my location. Officers under fire, need immediate assistance,” Nolan’s voice is clear and urgent.

Without hesitation, Tim accepts the call, urgency in his voice for the first time that day. “Roger that, Nolan. We’re en route.”

Tim accelerates towards the scene, the Griffith Observatory coming into view. The iconic building stands majestically atop the hill, its silhouette against the clear blue sky adding a surreal beauty to the unfolding situation.

As you arrived on the scene, the deafening sound of gunfire filled the air, drowning out any semblance of normalcy. Lucy and Tim sprang into action, their movements swift and purposeful as they navigated the chaos.

"Stay in the car, Y/N!" Tim's command pierced through the chaos, his tone leaving no room for debate.

But as you sat there, the abrupt silence that followed sent a chill down your spine. Lucy's panicked cry for Tim shattered the stillness, sending your heart into overdrive, “Bradford!”

Ignoring Tim's orders, you bolted from the shop, desperation fuelling your every step. The scene before you was a tableau of chaos and confusion, the beauty of the Observatory juxtaposed against the violence that unfolded within its walls.

You searched frantically for any sign of Tim or Lucy, all you found was Tim's abandoned radio, a silent witness to the turmoil that had unfolded.

The setting sun cast long shadows, casting an eerie glow over the scene, a reminder of the fragility of life in the face of danger. And the tension is electric, like the calm before a storm. Tim’s voice crackles through the radio, cutting through the silence.

“Y/N Buckley, can you hear me?"

Tim's heart races with anticipation as he waits for your response. He's nervous, hoping that you'll hear him clearly. He wonders if you'll be able to sense the nerves in his voice, hoping that you'll understand the significance of what he's about to do.

Grinning, you grab the radio. “Loud and clear, Bradford” you replied, your voice steady but your pulse quickening with each passing second.

A pause stretches out, thick with anticipation. “Close your eyes, Buckley. And this time, try not to defy a direct order.”

Rolling your eyes but intrigued, you humor him and shut your eyes, taking a deep breath of the crisp air, feeling a rush of excitement coursing through your veins. You focused on the sound of Tim's voice, letting it wash over you like a warm embrace as he began to speak.

"You and I, Y/N, we’re a wild ride,” Tim starts, his voice unexpectedly tender. “Who would’ve thought our journey would lead us here, to this crazy, beautiful moment?”

As Tim's voice crackled through the radio, a surge of nervous energy swept through him. He had rehearsed his words a thousand times in his mind, but now that the moment was upon him, he couldn't help but feel a pang of doubt.

The weight of the ring in his hand served as a reminder of the gravity of the situation, filling him with both excitement and trepidation.

A soft touch grazes your hand, sending a thrill up your spine. Your heart pounds in your chest.

“You challenge me, drive me nuts, and somehow make me a better man,” he continues through the radio, a hint of a smile in his voice. “And damn it, I love you for it.”

You can’t help but smile, a warmth spreading through you. As you listen, you feel tears prickling at the corners of your closed eyes. Tim's words resonate with you, stirring something within yourself that you can't quite put into words.

You want to open your eyes, to see the man you love more clearly, but you also want to savor this moment a little while longer.With each word, you feel your heart swell with love for Tim. His vulnerability, his honesty, it all takes your breath away, leaving you utterly captivated.

"Open your eyes, sweetheart," Tim's voice breaks through your reverie, pulling you back to the present moment.

With a flutter of excitement, you obey, slowly parting your eyelids to reveal the sight before you. There is Tim, his eyes filled with love and longing as he slowly kneels down before your eyes, a small velvet box in his hand. The sight of him, vulnerable and trembling, fills you with a sense of awe and gratitude as the setting sun casts a golden halo around him, the cityscape stretching out behind him in a breathtaking panorama.

Tears of joy well in your eyes as you take in the sight of the ring in his hand, your heart overflowing with love for the man who means the world to you.

“Y/N Buckley,” Tim’s voice wavers just a bit, “will you marry me?”

For a moment, you are stunned into silence, your mind reeling with the weight of his question. You feel a surge of emotion welling up inside, threatening to spill over at any moment. This is it, the moment you've been dreaming of, the moment you've been waiting for since you laid eyes on Tim, few years back.

Tim chuckles, a nervous but endearing laugh. “I’ll take that as a yes?”

"Yes, Tim. A thousand times, yes!" your voice choked with tears, as your words ring out into the night, a declaration of love and commitment that echoes through the air.

With a trembling hand, Tim slips the ring onto your finger, sealing their promise with a simple yet profound gesture. As your eyes meet once more, you share a moment of perfect understanding, a silent acknowledgment of the love that binds you together.

Without another word, you're in each other's arms, holding onto each other tightly as if trying to make up for all the time you've lost. In that moment, nothing else matters but the overwhelming love you share, a love that has weathered every storm and emerged stronger than ever before.

Tim's lips meet yours in a tender kiss, a sweet yet passionate embrace that speaks volumes more than words ever could. You cling to each other, lost in the intensity of your emotions, your hearts beating as one in the darkness.

As you pull away, breathless and flushed with emotion, you share a smile that lights up the night. In each other's arms, you find solace and strength, knowing that no matter what the future holds, you'll face it together, hand in hand, heart to heart.

Nolan chimes in through the radio, his voice filled with laughter. "Bradford, are we breaking out the champagne or what?"

Tim's smile widens at Nolan's words, and he glances over at you with a playful twinkle in his eye. "Hold off on the champagne, Nolan," he replies, unable to suppress a laugh. "She said yes."

Murmuring softly, Tim leaned in close to your ear. "I guess I didn’t mess this one up, huh?"

You chuckled softly, leaning into his embrace. "Not this time, Bradford."

[chayannesegg]

do people realize you can dislike the jokes someone is making, and find them inappropriate, and want them to stop, and still not frame a gay man as "disgusting" and "disturbing" for messing with straight men doing gay rp in minecraft. like, that's actually just a bad thing to do!

yes, there is a very real tension in the jokes tubbo makes and in the words and rhetoric he mocks. (and yes it is clearly jokes)

but that's exactly why the fact he is gay matters. it matters very much. tubbo is gay. homophobia is going to affect him his entire life. 

fact is, fit and pac can do their little gay rp (and they do a good meaningful job! i love fitpac) and get given money and attention and accolades for it and then walk away from the computer and go about their lives completely unaffected.

the same is literally not true for tubbo (whose sexuality has been under intense public scrutiny since he was a child). he does not get to walk away from it. he will never get to walk away from it.

fit and pac, even if they do a sincere job at it, are very much playing at a gay relationship (and profitting!) in a fake world where nothing about it is ever going to seriously affect them (not even qtubbo's "homophobia"). this is completely juxtaposed to the real world, where tubbo lives, where homophobia very much has a real impact on queer people

it's that tension that tubbo is trying to eat at with his jokes. it's that tension that he finds funny. it's that tension that he enjoys making the straight creators aware of. that's the basis of it and it's completely rooted in him being a gay man.

don't get me wrong, it is an EDGY form of humour. it's meant to be jarring and uncomfortable and it's not the most appropriate for the wider qsmp audience. he doesn't always succeed with the tone or format. and i totally understand people who don't like it and are uncomfortable with it and who want to ask him to stop. i really do

dislike it. dislike him for it. ask for it to be stopped as much as you want. but painting it as tubbo randomly making "disgusting" and "disturbing" light of a real world issue is simply not accurate. removing the very real context as to why he can make these jokes and why he makes these specific types of jokes is not fair. you can do better with your criticism!

[lyss-sketchbox]

My thoughts on Inazuma vs Natlan so far. Is that Inazuma dropped the ball. There's no questioning that. It was rushed and the resolution lacked weight, and it almost definitely needed a lot more space to breathe and probably would've benefited from the 5 act structure instead of speedrunning with 3 acts (such as needing actual time spent with the Watatsumi Resistance rather than spending like 30 minutes tops).

HOWEVER. I feel like the initial Act I-II of Inazuma did a great job established the STAKES. It showed us the very real damage being caused by the various unjust decrees and why people are fighting. Natlan I kinda felt like did a lot of telling instead of showing, and any potential stakes feel kinda... Unserious? Because no one's really seriously hurt and even if they're saying Natlan will explode soon, I'm not really feeling like it's as dire as they're trying to sell it.

BUT IVE BEEN INFORMED YOU CAN DO NATLAN OUT OF ORDER??? Like you could in theory do Natlan BEFORE Inazuma thru Fontaine (with the quick-start function) which is why Natlan is more 'self-contained' which is absolutely insane to me?? Like HELLO???

Overall, I feel like the concepts and plot presented in Natlan is fine. But they didn't do a good enough job of selling to me these things. Like the whole child soldiers stuff kjadf like we actually dwelled on it for longer than a millisecond, we'd probably realize that's super fucked up!! But instead we gloss over it, making the whole quest seem fairly light-hearted despite everything.

Rubs my hands together ok anon lets talk cuz yeah i have thoughts

About inazuma

I definitely agree with you that Act 1-2 (especially 1) of inazuma did well setting up and showing how much negative impact the shogun's rule has impacted the people:

Vision holders literally losing a chunk of themselves (or worst, their lives) from their vision being confiscated.

Non-vision holders risking their lives for helping said vision holders (the resistance)

International traders being stuck in the nation, repressed by local government, and scammed by local traders just to keep business alive.

Local government bloating the price of everything!!! (And being able to get discounts only if you have connections)

Corruption even in the highest positions (gestures at the Kujou clan)

Fatui meddling that lead to the deaths of many for profit

The shogun literally programmed her robot to be that heartless because she herself dont give a shit about any of these issues. As long as her eternity stays.

Fr after venti and zhongli, getting an archon that acts as a proper ruler of a nation AND an antagonist sounds COOL AS FUCK. The booba sword scene while yeah, boobs wooo, also was a wonderful show of her authority over her nation.

After that they tripped and fell in Watatsumi. While i appreciate the environmental story telling of Watatsumi's and Shogunate's bases during the war, we barely get enough time to do... ANYTHING of substance. If i remember correctly, we became team captain, then do a bunch of training and defeating vagrants (on our own because friendly npc fighters didnt exist yet) and thats it. Where is the plotting? Wheres the planning? It was all just an anime training montage we barely get to see or feel. I genuinely feel like we couldve just replaced the entire Watatsumi arc with 'the fatui is selling delusions to people with confiscated visions to help them cope with the lost so traveller go to the delusion factory' and NOTHING wouldve changed. Hell it wouldve made ALOT more sense why yae came to save us at the end if the whole thing happened in Narukami.

Also after all that SHOWING they did alot more TELLING about wooo how smart kokomi is she is so smart and cool and the savior of the resistance. Like girl the fatui had their grip on your soldiers to the point they almost didnt want to surrender their delusions what are you on about. While you can argue she was only a priestess before the war and had no war intellegence skills, the people prop her up as such, kujou sara took her seriously. So she has to have some merit. Well im not seeing any (fight me on this i dont fully remember what happens in watatsumi)

Also at the end we fight the literal dictator of the nation with the power of friendship then everyone and i mean EVERYONE forgave said dictator...... cool. They would definitely benefit from an extra act so that watatsumi adds to the idea that this civil war and the shoguns current decree is causing damage.

About AR

The thing is that the requirements for you to start Natlan AQ is to be AR 28 and finish Liyue AQ (which requires AR 29 for the entire thing). While starting Inazuma requires AR 30, Sumeru needs AR 35, and Fontaine needs AR 40 (highest AR requirement by far).

Id argue that each nation is supposed to be a self-contained story. Even so, based on AR requirements theyve been chronologically in order because you NEED to complete the previous AQ to start the next. EXCEPT for Natlan.

While this is obviously to be more open to new and returning players, it really.... decreases the stakes, like you would assume the more we progress the tougher challenges we will have to face. But Natlan? Nawww you can go to Natlan without fighting the dictator 👍

About Natlan

I AM ADDRESSING THE CHILD SOLDIER THING FIRST BECAUSE YES. THEY DEFINITELY DID ALOT MORE TELLING THAN SHOWING HOW THIS CHILD APPARENTLY CAN BE SENT TO WAR WITH A REAL CHANCE OF DYING!!!!! I talked about this before because they ironically did alot more showing how child like Kachina is which adds more to the FUCKING CHILD SOLDIER THING.

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY WITH THIS??? Oh its our nations culture, its just the culture shock, OKAY YEAH BUT THE TRAVELLER AND PAIMON ARENT NATLAN NATIVES AND THEY DONT FEEL ANYTHING ABOUT THIS????? Wow yey cheer for the child to go to war! BRO SHE DIED AND WE WENT JACOOZIING WHILE WE WAIT FOR HER TO RETURN FROM WAR...............

ITS VERY OBVIOUS INFANTILIZATION BECAUSE IANSAN DIDNT FUCKING GET THE SAME TREATMENT. You know, the other small girl character there, nah she went to war just like Kachina, lived, and stood by the Archon and WAS READY TO THROW HANDS WITH A HARBINGER IF THE ARCHON DIDNT FUCKING FIGHT HIM HERSELF.

Everything just feels so.... chill? So relaxed with no stakes at all. I mean yeah the Abyss is creeping into the nation's roots but instead of sending armies we make it a tournament. Yeah people die in these excursions but we can revive them so we can ignore the horrors of experiencing death. Yeah the flames are dying so the archon has to give up some of her power to keep it lit but its okay! The harbinger is a gentleman that wont take this opportunity to do some scheming. We need the power of the chosen one of each tribes to save natlan but hey cant rush it! We got a year after all teehee.

Man. Head in hands. What the fuck.

Not even gonna go into the whole the archon is human but mavuika is the one that got reincarnated to retake the role just in time to solve a national crisis thing. Because i dont even know if THAT is accurate.

If they somehow trip and fall worse than inazuma id actually be amazed because the bar is very very low.

[beesmygod]

There aren't many careers that do make the world a better place or fulfill some unmet need tbh. I've worked on a lot of farms and that's heart-rending because it's all profit based (even when we were growing to sell to the county foodbank) and I'm currently a teacher and you can imagine the ulcer I've gotten trying to make education worthwhile in a parent-panopticon/ test heavy world. You just have to do what you can with your career without working for a defense contractor or the bloodmongers of freer sackler and try to live life outside of work as an activist (communist) too. Which I think everyone who follows your work sees that commitment. You should check out Gran Fury's oral histories about A Day Without Art and their days of action.

i want to be more clear so we arent talking past each other: both of the careers you cited are both careers i would view, regardless of their profit motive or bureaucratic nightmarishness, are jobs with visible and inarguable immense material impact on the world. a farmer grows food, a teacher is a surrogate caretaker for 6 hours a day with the additionally difficulty of needing to impart information to their wards. these are not small or inconsequential jobs.

im not talking exclusively about political impact; i think aiming to make political waves this as an individual is extremely out of touch with reality. i literally mean material impact. i also am not discounting the importance of art creation individually as a balm for the human soul. like, im not saying art is not important, esp the creation process. but im seriously questioning the monetary and mass societal/political value of it. which sounds really extreme i guess lol. i am really cynical and a lot of the talking point conjured up by my peers explaining their dedication to the arts read like self-congratulatory fanfiction based on how they think art should impact the world, as opposed to how it actually does.

let's be honest: i post for a living. some of my posts are higher effort and include paneled images, but its posting. at best, the art i make is a luxury product in a world where luxury is becoming increasingly unaffordable and unjustifiable. its getting increasingly more difficult to enjoy what i do when i know the ppl who support me are people with real jobs, doing the material improvements, who live paycheck to paycheck

[sotteoks]

More Than A Helping Hand | 🔞

──★ ˙pairing: Shownu x Fem!Reader ──★ ˙warnings/contents: SMUT, p*rn with just a crumb of a plot, established relationship, roommates!au, college!au, rich girl!reader, friends to lovers trope, dom!Shownu, sub!reader, simp shownu...lowkey..., masturbation (female) , dirty talk !!!!, some degradation, 'princess' as a nickname, tiny bit of choking, very minimal impact play/reader gets a small slap, let's assume reader is on the pill bc of the creampie, there's a sprinkle of fluff kinda, soft aftercare bc why not, ... please let me know if i missed anything ! ⸜ (｡˃ ᵕ ˂) ⸝ ──★ ˙word count: 6.9k ──★ ˙ a/n: this is literally so self indulgent im so sorry ──★ ˙summary: your university roommate Hyunwoo is everything you wanted and then some.

right now, in this room i'm saying i can't take it any longer

You never wanted a roommate. In fact, what you were actually in search of was a housekeeper or personal assistant; your friends had made you aware of that fact when you described what you thought was the ideal roommate. However, when your parents shipped you off to attend university in the city, they made it very clear that you needed to learn how to live without all the luxuries you were accustomed to at home while you attended school. They had made it through their early adulthood without all the nice, shiny things. Everything they currently had, they attained through hard work after finishing school.

It was your turn to experience that.

Your friends offered you two solutions to your problems after growing tired of your complaints: get a part time job or get a roommate. Having a part time job seemed out of the question to you because you could barely manage your busy social life along with school work. Naturally, having a roommate was the option that was most appealing. Initially, trying to find someone who met your impossibly high standards for a roommate was difficult. The people who responded to the flyers you posted around your university campus were always too much of something for your liking. Whether they be too talkative, too quiet, too boring, too obnoxious, too stingy; they were never just right. 

Until Son Hyunwoo, the pride of the music and dance department, came along.

 

On top of being an ace in all of his classes, he was incredibly attractive, very nice, and just the right amount of talkative for your tastes. But being honest with yourself, you probably would have accepted him as a tenant just because of how hot he was and he left a good first impression on you when he let you copy his notes back in your freshman year. He moved in fairly quickly and the two of you seemed to mesh well due to his helpful nature and you...well, often needed help.

 After a few months of living together, he easily gained the title of your right hand man as you two did everything together. Even if most of the time, your idea of bonding together was running errands with him while you delegated what to do. Perhaps it was because of the attraction he felt toward you, he had no problem doing the silly little tasks you would ask of him which led to the situation the two of you were currently in.

Sitting at the foot of your bed, phone in hand, Hyunwoo was taking pictures of you as you tried on various outfits from a recent shopping spree you went on since you finally had some spending money. 

“This skirt looks a little short.” You comment as you examine yourself in the full length mirror in your bedroom before striding over to Hyunwoo. “What do you think?” You give a little turn and pose as you present yourself to him.

Looking up from his phone screen and shifting his gaze to you before slipping his phone into his pocket, he purses his lips in thought; giving you the impression he was seriously contemplating the details of your outfit. Yes, he did think the short was incredibly short. When you twirled around to let Hyunwoo see your attire from all angles, the simple movement caused your skirt to lift just enough to expose the cheeky thong you were wearing. But, Hyunwoo wasn't going to let you know that. Simply because he wanted to be able to enjoy the sight of you prancing around wearing that miniskirt during some sort of outing you would inevitably make him join you on. 

“It looks fine. It makes your legs look longer.” Hyunwoo tells you with a plain expression to mask how he truly felt. While your attention goes back to observing your own reflection, his eyes are quick to fixate themselves on the perfection that he views you as. With every turn and pose you make in the mirror, Hyunwoo has to make sure not to stare too long in fear of being caught but the sneaky, longing glances are barely enough to satiate the feelings of desire that lay seated deeply within him.

Giving yourself one more look in the mirror, you sigh in dissatisfaction before calling over Hyunwoo to help you undo the zipper on your skirt. He hears your request but the words don’t process to him immediately due to his ogling so when he finally realizes what you had just said, he’s thankful he didn’t blow his cover by literally jumping up at the chance to help you undress. Approaching you slowly, cautious hands start to reach toward your body.

“Be careful with the tags, I still don't know if I wanna return this.” You warn when you feel his hand hold on to the hem of your skirt while the other pulls down the tiny zipper. Once the zipper is undone, you casually begin to strip out of your outfit before changing into a plain hoodie and leggings. 

It was just a tiny bit fucked up how after you had gotten comfortable around Hyunwoo, you seemed to constantly neglect the fact that he was a healthy, young man with an ample interest in the female form as you had no qualms about changing around him or walking around the apartment in just your underwear. One time, you had even called him into your room while you had a fever and asked him to administer your suppository since you couldn't see yourself in the mirror well enough. That event may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back and caused Hyunwoo to start having lewd thoughts about you; but he would never admit that because it made him feel like some sort of sexual deviant.  

However, the truth was that had you done these things with any other man, they would take it as you purposely tempting them and teasing them. But that was just something that never seemed to cross your mind whenever you behaved the way you did. 

Initially when you first started to show you were getting comfortable, Hyunwoo actually did think you were coming on to him. Alas, that idealization was quickly shattered when he learned that due to your upbringing, it was simply second nature to you to always have someone ready to assist you with the most basic tasks such as getting dressed. It bewildered him that you managed to live on your own for as long as you did. But Hyunwoo couldn’t judge you because university was the place where one was guaranteed to meet people with vastly different upbringings.

When you're done changing clothes, you go to sit on your bed and motion Hyunwoo to give you his phone before he hands it over to you then begin looking through the pictures he took of you; a pleased hum falling from you.

“Not bad.” You mumble mostly to yourself, praising how well your outfits photographed. “Send these to me.” You tell the male, tossing his phone back to him. He easily catches the cellular device and obliges to your request; your phone vibrating on your nightstand and hitting your ears with an obnoxious clattering sound, indicating you received the pictures. You reach for the device to look over the pictures once more and decide which one to post only to panic upon realizing the time; scrambling to your feet then dashing to grab your handbag. 

You say something about a nail appointment to Hyunwoo on your way out of your bedroom, nearly tripping over all the shoes in the entryway of your apartment while digging in your purse for your car keys. The front door opens then promptly slams shut; seeming to echo louder than usual as your roommate stood in your bedroom alone, trying to process the flurry of activity that had just happened. 

 In your absence, he tidied up the leftover mess from your fashion show earlier and placed the brand new items with tags in the shopping bag they arrived in. Noticing that there were even more clothes sporadically placed around your bedroom floor, he took the liberty of collecting the small piles of worn clothing before dumping them in your hamper.  

Now, it was almost as if the Lord was testing Hyunwoo; seeing if he was being sincerely nice and doing you a favor by cleaning up or if he was just seriously down bad waiting for you to give him some sort of reward for being a decent human. The calm composure he usually maintained on the outside in order to keep his less pure feelings under tight wraps had nearly faltered when he caught sight of a pair of lacy panties peeking out from under your bed. Initially, when he reached to toss it with the rest of your clothing, he didn’t think too much of it. However, once he picked it up he not only got a whiff of your feminine scent lingering on the fabric, he noticed the way that the crotch of it was slightly dry and caked with what he could safely assume was your arousal. The little devil on his shoulder urges him to pocket it for himself and use it as erotic fodder for his imagination since you probably wouldn’t even notice it was missing; and on top of that, parting with a single pair of panties was the least you could do for him. But alas, his rational thinking overpowered those thoughts in the end and he quickly tossed it into your hamper.

Hyunwoo eventually retired to his own room and you returned from your nail appointment; picking up dinner on your way back as a small gesture of gratitude. When you announce your arrival after unlocking the door and swap your shoes for a pair of house slippers, Hyunwoo comes to greet you, fondly reminding you of the puppy you had to leave with your parents. Taking the bag of take out food from your hands, he brings it over to the dining table and you follow him excitedly; practically skipping over to the fridge to fetch some beverages before sitting down at the table. 

“Look at my new nails!” You exclaim gleefully, going through a series of poses to showcase the jewel adorned acrylics that now decorated your fingers. “Gyaru style has been trendy recently and I can’t remember the last time I had a manicure this Instagram worthy.” You continue to babble as Hyunwoo takes the seat across from you, untying the knot of the plastic take out bag then spreading out the containers on the table and opening them to reveal fried chicken from a place the two of you frequented often.  

“Aren’t your nails a little long? How are you gonna get anything done?” He questions in a teasing tone, reaching over for the cans of beer you brought out and opening a can for each of you. 

“I can do things just fine.” You tell him, a small pout forming on your face as you sift through the take out bag to retrieve a pair of plastic gloves and putting them on with ease before finally grabbing a piece of chicken and proceeding to eat as if you were trying to convince him of your capabilities. 

The rest of dinner is filled with casual conversation and lots of laughter over several cans of beer. When the two of you finish eating, you follow Hyunwoo’s lead as he starts cleaning up; which had become a common practice for you after he made a joke about not being able to help you forever. It was just a lighthearted comment and the two of you knew that at some point in the future the two of you would stop being roommates, but you couldn’t help but feel saddened by the idea of not having Hyunwoo around. Besides the fact that he did things like take off your makeup when you were too drunk to remember, take all your outfit of the day pictures for you and finish your food for you when you went to cafes solely for the aesthetic, you genuinely enjoyed his company. 

Hyunwoo was the one who babysat you when you would get blackout drunk at all the frat parties you went to together. He was the one who went with you to all these random outings with you just so you could maintain your silly little instagram persona. He didn’t just help you out with your stupid errands and chores, he also taught you how to get accustomed to living on your own. During the time the two of you lived together, you felt like you grew up a lot thanks to his nurturing behavior towards you and that was something that would be impossible for you to pay him back for. 

When the two of you finish cleaning up after dinner and part ways, going to your respective bedrooms, you find yourself tossing and turning unable to get any sleep. 

You tried counting sheep, imagining little fantasies of you on vacation, and even got up to make yourself a nice cup of special imported chamomile tea that your mother had swore by; but none of those things worked. So, you found yourself laying back in bed watching long YouTube documentaries that you thought would bore you so much you would just fall asleep. 

But even that didn’t work and it was time for one of your last resorts. 

Leaning over the side of your bed and  yanking open the drawer of your bedside table, you rummaged through its contents before pulling out a bullet vibrator. It was a rose gold device with a textured pink silicone tip, the entire thing was small enough to be concealed in your fist so when you pressed the power button on the bottom and heard the toy roar to life you flinched slightly. Quickly turning it off after checking that it still worked, you spend a few minutes trying to get comfortable in bed.

Once you’re relaxed, you slip your pajama shorts off and let them get lost in your bedding, tentatively holding the toy in one hand then turning it on once again before bringing it to your panty clad center. The strength of the vibrations are felt before you even make direct contact with your clit so once it does, your inner thighs tremble ever so slightly at the intensity. Eyes falling closed and your lips parted in a silent moan, you use the toy to massage gentle circles over the sensitive bundle of nerves. It doesn’t take long for your climax to build because of how powerful the toy is. 

Your body covered in a light layer of sweat; silk sheets clinging to your skin as you roll your hips against your own hand holding the toy, desperately trying to get more friction and finish quickly but it seems like the universe is against you as you notice the vibrations start becoming weaker and weaker the closer your orgasm gets.

 Then, right before you were able to finish the toy dies completely and you let out a loud groan of frustration. 

Now, on top of not being able to sleep, you were now sweaty and angry about your ruined orgasm. You weren’t really thinking rationally at this point, your mind was only focused on two things: getting your big O and then going to sleep. So, when you text your roommate asking if he was still awake, you’re pleased when he replies quickly and you immediately ask him to come to your room. 

“Is..something wrong?” Hyunwoo asks once he arrives, awkwardly standing off to the side of your bed frame.  For the few moments he’s in your presence, you count him yawn at least three times and realize that he was either sleeping or very close to falling asleep prior to you texting him. Feeling bad that you cut into his time to rest all because you couldn’t satiate your own desires, you pat the empty spot in your bed, silently instructing him to fill the space beside you; and of course, he obliges. The only source of light in your room comes from a small lamp on your nightstand and casts a soft golden glow as the two of you sit in silence for a bit while you try to string together the words of your proposal.

“I have a favor to ask you.” You start off demurely, giving Hyunwoo an expression of neediness he’s never seen until now. Blinking away the remainder of sleep in his eyes, he further examines your expression to try and figure out what you wanted from him at this hour. With the way the light and shadows danced across your face, Hyunwoo could have sworn he detected your eyes looking at him with lust but he could only chalk it up to him being tired and imagining what he wanted to see. 

“I was gonna go back to bed, I don’t know if I wanna go to the convenience store for you at this hour.” He laughs to ease his nerves but the expression you wear on your face turns serious and he begins to feel on edge again. 

“No, I don’t need you to get me anything.” You tell him, your brows furrowing as a frown grows on your face. 

You’re beating around the bush and both of you know it.

 It creates a mutual feeling of unease between the two of you but for different reasons; Hyunwoo being nervous about what you could possibly ask of him at this hour and you being embarrassed about the next words that were going to leave your mouth. 

“Would you sleep with me?” You ask in a meek voice as you avoid making eye contact with him, idly twiddling your thumbs; trying to mentally prepare yourself for him to reject you.

“Isn’t it a little childish to need me to comfort you after a nightmare?” Hyunwoo chuckles in response which makes you even more frustrated than you were before. “I mean-”

“No, not like that.” You cut him off hastily. “My vibrator died on me.” 

The silence that falls over the two of you is so loud and creates a tension so thick, you could have sworn it would suffocate you if you opened your mouth to say anything else. In that moment, you had started to regret asking him for such a favor; knowing that you asked him for too much and crossed the line this time. All you had wanted now was for him to reject your request and go back to his room like nothing happened.

“See? I told you those nails were gonna make it more difficult for you to do things.” Hyunwoo teases, alleviating the awkward atmosphere and making your cheeks feel warm at the implication of his words. “How do you want me to help?”

The sound of his question makes your breath get caught in your throat, causing you to get choked up and cough a little to clear it. 

“You’re messing with me, right?” You respond in disbelief at how casual he is, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Hey, you’re the one who called me into your room this late. Do you want my help or not?” Hyunwoo quips back; rendering you silent for the time being. You know he’s just heckling you for the fun of it but there’s a slight sharpness in his tone that you’re not used to hearing from him. The remnants of your ruined orgasm already has you so hot, it’s hard to tell if him talking to you like that is what further excites you.

Your mind no longer has the capacity to think of words to say to Hyunwoo and you let the primal feeling of lust fully overcome you as you slowly close the space between the two of you. Your lips make contact with his for the first time and the sensation of his plush lips on yours has you craving more contact. Though you were the one who initially called him to quell your frustrations, Hyunwoo kisses you back with such intensity, it leaves you breathless. He makes it difficult for you to want to pull away but at some point, you need to replenish your oxygen. When you break the kiss, your lips are slightly swollen and you’re panting very softly. Along with the mortification that came with you basically asking your roommate to fuck you, you were now embarrassed by the fact he literally took your breath away and had you wanting more. 

“Having second thoughts?” Hyunwoo asks gently, genuinely concerned about if he had come on too strong or made you uncomfortable. Though he was elated to finally experience kissing you, he was getting nervous all over again. There were so many things to worry about like you not liking the experience or if the two of you went any further-

“No, it’s fine.” You quietly reassure Hyunwoo which effectively snaps him out of his anxiety ridden engrossment. 

After that, everything progresses so fast you can’t even recall who kissed who, who started tugging at the clothes or anything. But it wasn’t like that mattered as you and Hyunwoo were finally getting what you both wanted. Sprawled out beneath him with your camisole hiked up to expose your chest, Hyunwoo’s pajama pants and underwear were thrown together in one piece somewhere, and your soaked panties decorating the floor waiting to be collected as a souvenir later for Hyunwoo. Whoever said nice guys finish last probably had some other fatal flaw holding them back because here Hyunwoo was; one of the nicest guys at your university, getting something he wanted just for being a genuinely kind person. 

As eager as he was, he was still a romantic at heart and had tried to convince you to partake in some foreplay before getting to the main event; but as soon as he peeled the lacy fabric off your body to reveal the way your arousal clung to your skin, creating a translucent trail between your center and the panties— he understood why you were so impatient and insistent on having him fill you immediately. Kneeling between your spread legs, one hand guides his cock to your sopping hole while the other idly settles on your inner thigh. Just the feeling of the tip of Hyunwoo’s cock grazing your folds as he spreads your arousal is enough to make you start squirming beneath him and trying to get him inside you. 

“What’s taking so long?” You whine out. “If you’re gonna tease-”

Your bratty tangent is cut short by Hyunwoo finally slipping the tip of his cock into your cunt after taking a moment to mentally prepare himself for the sweet heat that was between your legs. 

“Don’t worry, I'll take care of you.” He reassures you.

Maybe he’s being dramatic because he had been too busy for hookups. Maybe he was just a major simp for you. But the wet, warmth you encase his cock in as he ventures deeper into you is something beyond his wildest dreams. Hyunwoo thanks the heavens that you needed some time to adjust to his size stretching your taut walls because at this point he was worried that if he moved, he would bust too quickly. And it wouldn’t just be quick, it would be an obscene amount. 

The slight sting of your cunt stretching to accommodate him seems to further excite you as soft moans fall past your parted lips as he bottoms out and you’ve finally taken him to the hilt. Just the feeling of having Hyunwoo fill you like this is enough to quell your impatience from earlier as you bask in the feeling of being so full. Your eyes flutter closed as you brace yourself for whatever sexual frustrations you knew Hyunwoo was going to unleash upon you. Even if you were totally unaware of the less than pure thoughts he had about you, you knew he wasn’t meeting up with any sneaky links in his free time; how could he if he willingly spent almost all of his time outside of school and work with you?

“Fuck—” You hear Hyunwoo mutter. 

Curiously, you open your eyes to see how he’s fairing but instead of being greeted by him looking at your face or your chest,  you find that his eyes are fixed where your two bodies meet and he’s admiring the way your cunt greedily swallowed his cock. And of course, your gaze follows his and the sight sends a rush of heat straight to your core.

The sight only becomes more enticing when he slowly pulls his hips back until only the tip remains inside of you and both of you see his length slicked in a thick, shiny coat of your arousal. Though the juicy image is something you don’t mind having imprinted in your memory, gawking at the sight wasn’t doing enough for you. 

It almost scares you when you realize how in sync you and Hyunwoo are; right when you’re about to forgo your pride and beg him to fuck you like the needy slut he somehow managed to awaken in you, he speaks up first. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t hold back anymore. I want you so bad.” He hastily confesses before his hands migrate to your waist, getting a firm grasp on you as he lifts your hips from the mattress and pulls your ass onto his lap starting to thrust into you. Almost immediately, your hands go to reach for his strong arms and hold on tight, hoping that you would be provided with some sort of stability.

You gasp in surprise about how rough his movements are, feeling just how sincere his words were. Hearing the verbal confirmation that Hyunwoo was just as needy as you allows you to finally get out of your head and just focus on what was happening in the moment. And as your sense of touch zeroes in on the way his cock was rubbing against your walls just right, the rest of your senses and thoughts also become infatuated with anything to do with Hyunwoo. 

The euphonious sound of his groans and grunts that make you clench around him, effectively causing him to make more noise. The fresh scent of his bath products mingling and mixing with the smell of sex that hung in the air. The familiar taste of the vanilla chapstick you loaned him as he closes the distance between you and his lips finds yours once again. 

Though he was consumed by the feeling of being one with you at this moment and adored all the positive feedback he was getting from you, Hyunwoo was still aware of how late it was in the night and knew if you got too loud, you could expect an angry note on your front door. 

“Kiss me properly.” Hyunwoo growls lowly against your lips; obviously irritated with the way your jaw fell slack as more obscene moans poured from your throat. “You’re too loud.”

“S-sorry.” You stammer after you feel him give a particularly deep thrust into you. 

Another moan threatens to leave you but desperate to please Hyunwoo, your lips find his again as an attempt to silence yourself. Engaging in a slow, sensual make out that contrasts starkly in comparison to the way he was roughly rutting his hips against yours, you manage to stay quiet for a little longer but you eventually end up pulling away from him when your lungs start to burn in need of air. 

“Please don’t stop.” You whisper breathily into Hyunwoo’s ear, holding on to him for dear life as you feel every thrust he gives you bringing you closer to that sweet, sweet finish you were deprived of. 

“I said I’d take care of you, did you think I wouldn’t follow through on that?” His question is rhetorical and normally you would complain about him being so mean to you. But in this context, it’s so much more exhilarating. “I just wanna please you.”

The salacious sound of skin slapping against skin seems to put you in a trance— eyes rolled back and lips parted as you find yourself getting lost in the feeling of being fucked so thoroughly. Light bruises vaguely resembling the shape of Hyunwoo’s fingerprints bloom across your hips but they go unnoticed by the both of you even when he starts moving you around to adjust your position. Remaining on your back, your legs were no longer uselessly dangling on either side of Hyunwoo and had been hoisted over his shoulders, allowing his cock to stimulate you from a different angle. That same tight hold he had on your hips resumes on your thighs as rough fingertips latch on the meaty flesh. And any bruises that were to result from this vice grip were going to be eagerly accepted. 

The new angle combined with Hyunwoo picking up the momentum of his movements has you seeing stars beneath your eyelids as you squeeze your eyes shut to fight back the tears stinging the corners of your eyes, overwhelmed by waves of euphoria just on the horizon and threatening to sweep you away. A few tears manage to escape anyway as Hyunwoo’s cock consistently stimulates a particularly soft and sensitive part within your pussy, making it hard for you to think.

You want to let Hyunwoo know just how good he’s making you feel and how much you love having him stimulate all your senses; but there isn’t a single coherent thought in that pretty little head of yours so forming words and sentences is out of the question. All you’re able to do is let out these pathetic moans and gasps as you’re being split open by probably the best cock you’ve ever had. 

“You look so pretty like this, princess—” Hyunwoo muses as he looks down at your dazed expression, the sound of his voice breaking you from the spell he had temporarily put you under. “So pretty and so cock drunk.” Once his words register to you, you’re only able to giggle like a ditzy lovestruck high schooler in response because of how true his statement was.

“It’s so hot when you’re mean to me. Keep talking to me like that—” You urge him, a broken moan leaving you as he gives you a particularly rough thrust that makes your entire body shake. 

“Yeah? You wanna hear me tell you that you’re just a horny brat who can’t do anything on her own and needs me to help her cum?” He rasps, your cunt clenching around him again confirming his words. “Fuck you for teasing me and making me wait so long.”

Pulling his hips back, Hyunwoo slides out until only the tip of his cock remains inside of you and before you could even whine in protest, he slams back inside of you causing a choked out gasp to fall past your lips. 

“So cute and needy for my cock. Tell me, is it really that good?” Hyunwoo laughs breathlessly. 

“It’s soo fucking good.” You obediently reply back. You’re ready to beg him to just fill you with his load already but the words get lost in your head while more moans pour from your tired throat as his thick cock stretched you with every snap of his hips against yours. 

Hyunwoo places a hand on your sternum that trails up to your neck, fingers giving a light squeeze to your throat before he cups your face. He stares down at you with such a domineering expression, you feel so weak beneath him as your lips part in a soft moan. Seizing the opportunity, Hyunwoo swipes his thumb over your bottom lip and forces you to suck on his thumb as a means of quieting down.  It works for a bit as your tongue eagerly swirls around the lone digit. With your moans silenced for the time being, Hyunwoo relishes in the wet squelching sounds being created by him pummelling your soaked cunt. But when the head of his cock kisses your cervix, a small whine rumbles in the back of your throat. Removing his thumb from your mouth, he gives your face a light slap for being so noisy.

At this point, you felt like that wave of euphoria had not only come crashing over you, it had also carried you out to the sea with no lifejacket. You were drowning in bliss and it was turning your mind into goo. 

Just when you thought Hyunwoo couldn’t outdo himself, his hands took a hold of your legs and pushed them against your chest as he leaned in; practically folding you in half and fucking you deeper at this animalistic pace that has you clawing at his arms. You probably left some serious scratches on him with your nails but that didn’t matter at the moment. The only thing that mattered was the feel of Hyunwoo’s cock dragging against your walls and fucking into you like he was training your cunt to mold against him and only him from now on.

And quite honestly, the idea of him being the only person you slept with didn’t sound so bad. In fact, it sounded like the most ideal scenario. It was just so good it could make you-

“F-fuck, cumming—” You barely manage to get out before your walls start to flutter around his swollen cock before soaking him in even more of your  juices in hopes of spurring his climax. 

Your hands reach for his shoulders as a feeble attempt to get him to ease up on your sensitive walls, but you’re too wrapped up in these overwhelming sensations hitting you all at once and your words get lost once again. Thrusting into you like a dog in heat, Hyunwoo has you digging your nails into his once flawless skin while you’re unable to do anything but patiently wait for him to finish. Considering how long it’s been since either of you had gotten some action, you had no idea when he would decide he was done. With his cock working your overstimulated pussy, it triggers another wave of ecstasy to wash over you as another rush of your juices gush over him as the squelching sounds of him filling your cunt get even louder. 

More than pleased with his handiwork , Hyunwoo has you in a mating press, fucking into you even deeper as he finally lets his own climax rapidly build and overcome him after suppressing his own desires just so he could focus on pleasing you.

“Where should I cum?” He asks you urgently, feeling his release creeping up on him. 

“Please, just cum. Anywhere.” You beg, tears brimming your eyes as your sensitivity was starting to get the best of you and you were finding it hard to remain still underneath him. Even with his body firmly pressed up against yours, you were a blubbering, writhing mess. 

The squelching of your slick cunt paired with your needy plea was more than enough to make the coil in his stomach wind tighter and tighter until his hips stutter; thick ropes of cum spilling into your womb as he poured every bit of his sexual frustration into you. The feeling of him finally releasing within you was enough to trigger one more orgasm within you and your walls clenched around him, milking his seed out of him as his thrusts slowed down but increased in depth until they eventually stopped. 

Carefully slipping out of you, trying not to further overwork your lady parts, Hyunwoo makes a dash for your en suite bathroom. With laundry being a chore the two of you switched off on frequently, he was familiar with where you kept your things and quickly located a fresh washcloth before running it under some warm water. Returning to your room, Hyunwoo finds you lying in bed on your side in your usual sleeping position that consists of your arms under your pillow cradling your head while your legs are outstretched. Luckily for him, it’s easy to wipe away the lewd mix of bodily fluids that was leaking from your center before it could stain the sheets. As much as he wanted to stuff his cum back into you, he figured it would be better not to push his luck with you since he had already been blessed with you fulfilling a desire he had since he moved in with you. 

After cleaning you up, Hyunwoo covers your naked lower body with your comforter that was previously kicked to the side before attempting to locate his pants and underwear. He does a quick survey of your bedroom floor and only sees your lone panties in plain view. Still not forgetting that he intended on pocketing those. He checks under your bed only to come up with nothing. The last place that would make sense to check would be the mix of blankets that you were currently tangled in but you looked so peaceful sleeping; he would feel so bad if he woke you up after wearing you out like that. Realizing there was no real reason for Hyunwoo to be so urgent about finding his pajama pants since being totally naked around each other was no longer uncharted territory, he could find his clothes later. Now that he had finished his job of making you cum and helping you go to sleep, he collected his prize and proceeded to see himself out so he could rest in his own bed. 

Throwing on a new fresh pair of boxers as soon as he was in the comfort of his own room, Hyunwoo slipped underneath his covers and fell asleep with a smile on his face, pleased with the events of tonight. Knowing you, he assumed that you would just treat tonight as another one of the many favors you often asked of him. Though, if things did get awkward it would probably be a first for the both of you because he couldn’t think of any other instances where there was obvious mutual tension. Letting his thoughts settle down, Hyunwoo finally gets some shut eye.

Maybe about an hour or two after falling asleep, he ends up waking up for the second time tonight. But this time due to the fact he felt so parched. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes so he could get up and go to the kitchen, Hyunwoo slowly sits up in the dark. 

Something feels off but he can’t quite place his finger on it.

He wanted to think that he was just feeling the lingering excitement from earlier, but there was something seriously different about his room. Shrugging it off, he reaches for the water bottle on his nightstand and quickly unscrews the cap; drinking from it ravenously until the bottle is empty. Carelessly tossing the bottle onto his nightstand, he lays back down to go back to sleep. 

Until he realizes that the water bottle he just drank from was still cold like it hadn’t been out of the refrigerator that long. If Hyunwoo left the water bottle near an open window while he slept, the cool temperature of the water wouldn’t have been questioned; but that wasn’t the case. And the most concerning part of this whole thing was that he didn’t even stop by the kitchen on his way to his room earlier.  

Looking around in panic, everything looks fine. 

Nothing seems out of place. 

Maybe he’s just overreacting from the lack of sleep.

Settling back underneath his blankets, Hyunwoo rolls over to the cool, empty side of his bed. Or at least, he tried to. And that’s when he realized there was a second body in the bed with him that caused him to panic internally as he sat up in bed again.

“Ouch.” The familiar sound of your voice surprises Hyunwoo just as much as it quells his nerves. Pulling back the covers to reveal you laying in his bed with his boxers that he was looking for covering your once naked lower half, he looks at you in astonishment as you groggily turn your body to face him.

“What are you doing here?” He laughs softly, trying to mask the fact he just about damn near pissed himself because he thought that you were some type of strange intruder.

“You left me alone,” You pout as you pull the blankets back over yourself. “And you left me alone in a bed with soaked sheets.”

“I thought you were sleeping.” Hyunwoo reasons, laying back down beside you and feeling you curl up against his side, making yourself comfortable as you lay your head on his chest. 

“I was, but leaving me by myself in those conditions is so mean.” You tell him as your hand comes up to pinch his nipple in annoyance. “I’m a nice girl who likes nice aftercare, I expected cuddling from you since you’re usually such a gentleman.”

So of course, Hyunwoo would spend the rest of the night cuddling you; as well as many other nights from now on. 

[the-witchhunter]

So a lot of what I’m about to say has to do with my preference for character driven storytelling and is pretty much just me putting down my thoughts. Feel free to leave your thoughts on this but don’t take this too seriously

I think a lot of the side characters from Danny Phantom are hard to incorporate into a DP x DC crossover, especially on their own

Because most of them are pretty normal teenagers and are harder to fit into a superhero story. They tend to be somewhat flat and their interesting traits tend to be how the relate to Danny or each other

Like, I’m not inherently interested in Paulina just being in DC because she’s a pretty shallow popular girl stereotype. There’s not a lot to her that makes her an interesting addition on her own to the setting, which is probably why a lot of people default to essentially make being from amity Park a superpower. I don’t think it adds a lot personally, but that’s a completely different rant

Dash being in DC on his own isn’t that interesting because he’s the archetype of a jock and a bully. So to compensate you see people make him insanely competent like the rest of Amity Park, or actually give him a superpower.

But the thing is, their actual character gets neglected to make that happen, which is kind of disappointing

I just think it would be nice to see who they are as a person matter more. Paulina, spoiled former popular girl now living in the real world on her own for the first time? Coming to terms with her popularity no longer mattering? Or chasing that high by trying to get famous because she needs that external validation

Dash, jock and former bully. He’s living a life where the fact he played high school football doesn’t matter, he doesn’t get the specialized treatment that it used to give him. Or he’s playing at a higher level and where he was really good before he now is dealing with the fact that everyone else is just as talented. He’s no longer THE star quarterback. Or he’s unpacking his baggage regarding his former bullying. Internalized homophobia and coming to terms with his own sexuality? Actively trying to change for the better? Seeing his old behaviors in others and trying to do the right thing?

I just think who they are should impact the story if they’re involved. If you could change the name and I wouldn’t be able to tell who it is, then why should it be this character? What about the character makes them different in this role than inserting any other character? How does who they are affect their situation for better or for worse?

Let’s take an example: Paulina becoming a reporter in metropolis. Regardless of how good she might be at the job, what character traits does she have that might affect how she does. Well, first, she was popular, that’s her big thing. She knows how to interact with people, make them like her when it suits her interests. This probably means she turns on the charm when doing interviews but is maybe a little bitchy the rest of the time. Based on her personality in the show she would probably gravitate to the society pages, wanting to cover stories involving the rich and famous, galas and all that.

See, in this example, she can still be good at her job but her character traits affect how she does things. She’s a more complicated character, and she might not handle things the same way Lois Lane does, but she can still use her abilities to get the job done through charm and manipulation. This could also lead to conflict because she can be rude to people she doesn’t need anything from, which if she does that to the wrong person, putting on the charm and batting her eyes at them isn’t going to work

Again this is largely based on my preference for character based storytelling. Characters and who they are matter and are what drives the plot. This is in contrast to plot based storytelling which is events happen to the character without their thoughts and decisions impacting the story. Plot based storytelling is an older style which you see a lot in old legends and fairytales, where things just kind of happen to the character. It’s not inherently better or worse but modern taste overall leans more towards character driven stories

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hello, my dear friend! 😎

I hope you're having a wonderful day. I've come to fulfill my noble quest, as promised.

So, we've already had pregnant MC, which I adore and cherish, like all your works. What you do is amazing, and I hope you know that. You bring the kind of joy into our lives that I think does wonders for our weary souls. On top of that, you're one of the kindest souls I've ever met, and I'm lucky to have you in my life and be able to call you my friend. Seriously, you're a miracle and you make the world a better place.

But to my actual request. Could you please do headcanons about the M6 being pregnant? Seahorse dads are very much encouraged 👀 I often think about having children with Nadia, but I don't really like the idea of being pregnant myself (although our dear Countess does make me want to consider it every once in a while. The baby fever is very strong with her.) Plus, I'm certain there are other people like myself who prefer not to get pregnant or they simply can't for various reasons.

Thank you! Hugs to you and much love 🤗❤

Ps.: I'll kiss you if you do it (in a friendly but still very gay way)

The Arcana HCs: When M6 get pregnant

@theintrovertbean I'm here to collect my platonic but still very gay smooch, please :3 (In all seriousness though, I keep rereading your kind words and trying not to cry, that means so much to me. I'm so glad I get to call you my friend too!!)

-- CW for mpreg (obviously). for headcanon purposes, all members of the M6 want to have a child with MC and are happy with being the partner to be pregnant. whether this happens by natural means, depending on what reproductive system you headcanon them as having, or by *magic*, said baby is 50% your DNA and 50% theirs. --

Julian

Did the two of you take active steps to make it possible for him to carry your child? Yes. Did he think he would be fortunate enough for it work? No. Is he surprised now, even though it's planned? Yes

The most freaked out about what his body is in the process of doing. Again, this is something he agreed to and genuinely wants, but it's just so surreal to him that he keeps needing to rationalize it

His way of rationalizing things is to study them

This does not help his ever-present anxiety, especially when he has to limit his caffeine intake and his mood swings are even more intense than normal. He is going to bury himself in research

And then completely freak himself out with the assorted random weird facts, unhinged medical theories, and pregnancy horror stories that he encounters. Which isn't good for the baby

Speaking of, he keeps swinging wildly between being hyperaware of the tiny creature he's growing and completely forgetting about his state. Suddenly his self-care directly impacts someone else

Spending nine months with limited caffeine intake and 0 alcohol was actually very good for him. (even if it made him cranky at first)

The overall process was fairly smooth for him - he didn't have a lot of awful symptoms, and the only health scares were his own anxious "what if" spirals after reading horror stories before bed

Kept working the whole way through (though with considerably fewer hours so he could get more sleep), and generally did a great job whenever he wasn't thinking too hard about it all

Asra

They never actively envisioned this happening in their future, but when you brought up having kids in the first place they were already fairly open to the idea of being the one to carry the baby

There was definitely magic involved in the conception. He's too extra for there not to be (plus, a little boost never hurt anybody)

For such a normally chillaxed person, they did not take this decision lightly. Everything from planning, to conception, to preparing to raise a kid is full of intentionality

He wants to ensure that his kid gets a childhood that lasts as long as they need it to and a happy, safe environment to grow and explore. His baby fever wasn't intense but his nesting habits are

They get in several last crazy adventures before they start to feel the pregnancy and then spend the rest of it either sleeping, getting the baby's space ready, or eating the most unreal food combos

Seriously, you expected weird cravings, but considering how unusual his tastes already are you didn't think it could get much weirder. It can get so, so much weirder (he even managed to finally pry open that jar of kool-aid pickled garlic and put it in custard)

Between their parent's enthusiastic support and Nadia and Julian providing full medical backup, they are well looked after

Not to mention the pregnancy glow. He makes it look ethereal

They aren't fond of physical discomfort, though, and it makes them unusually broody and cuddly. Please give them snuggles

They spend weeks creating the most whimsical nursery

Nadia

She was actually the one to bring it up when she started talking about her expectations of marriage with you after proposing

For how strained her own relationship with her family is, she's more excited about starting one of her own with you than you expected. When you tell her that you want kids too, she's all for it

Sets a rule as soon as she tells her family that she won't be accepting more than two visitors at a time. Namar nearly revolts

Her pregnancy was not easy, at all. It was months before she could keep a full meal down, she was in near constant pain, and the fatigue was unrelenting. And she never let on in public, at all

Seriously, the only people who knew how hard it was were her close friends, trusted Palace people, and doctor. From the outside it was as if she couldn't feel it at all and life carried on as usual

The biggest noticeable difference (aside from her growing bump, which she somehow managed to make her draping clothes look even more regal with) was having Portia deliver speeches for her

Towards the final few months, it caught up to her enough that she couldn't be nearly as active as she used to. She turned one of her side chambers into her office and took all her meetings there

It also became evident how much the Palace staff loves their countess - the cooks worked tirelessly to find easy meals for her (and satiate every craving beyond the laws of culinary art)

Not to mention that the garden was immaculately kept

The amount of gifts for the baby took up several small closets

Muriel

He didn't bring it up. No, you brought it up, because of how out of hand his baby fever was getting. He'd gone from begrudgingly letting kids climb on him to actively offering to help watch them

Which turned into a lifestyle - he started spending all his free time carving toys so he could carry them in his pocket in case some shy toddler looked like they wanted one. You're running out of firewood

He offered to be the one to carry the baby, if you didn't want to

The psychological aspect of it is much harder for him than the physical. He knows his own body, he knows his strength and capacity for survival, and he's comfortable with what he's doing

But that is a whole other person-to-be he's growing, they deserve the best they can get, and he's not convinced he's the best

Is this ... selfish of him? Is this greedy? He knows he'll put everything he is into being a good parent, but what if someone else's best is better than his? MC, what are we doing??

These anxiety spirals happen frequently, either when he's gone too long sitting by himself or when the pregnancy insomnia makes it impossible for him to sleep the amount he normally likes to

On the plus side, the mood swings actually make it easier for him to express what he's feeling (and for you to know what's going on with him) so that you two can navigate it together

Asra is so excited to have a nibling that they stop by almost every day with baby gifts (and supplies from Nadia, once she knows)

He full body freezes every. single. time the baby moves

Portia

Oh, she's wanted to have a house full of kids since she was a kid in a house full of kids. She brought this up with you as soon as she started talking about a future together and she is so pumped

Literally nothing about the concept of it fazes her. She's helped with plenty of pregnancies and births, she's seen the good, the bad, and the ugly, and she is fully confident with you by her side

In her mind, this is the first of many (assuming all goes well, which she fully believes it will) so this is her chance to take things as they come and note them down for future reference

Keeps a daily journal with all her pregnancy observations, plus doctor's notes from weekly check-ups and plans for the baby

You didn't know pregnancy could make somebody more powerful but somehow she's done it. You expect it to catch up to her at some point and for her to take time off to rest, but she doesn't

The pregnancy glow is real and it is named Portia Devorak. You've never seen her hair so bouncy and full (shedding increases x10)

The biggest downside is that she can't stand the smell of cooking or baking anymore, which has long been one of her comfort activities. You'll have to manage meal prep (or partner with a chef)

Speaking of, half the Palace is asking for updates on a daily basis (which she happily provides). Nadia's showering her with more supplies and maternity leave than Portia wants to accept

Julian panicked about being the doctor until Mazelinka shoved him aside and took over as midwife. Portia's in skilled hands

Lucio

This was not planned. This was a happy accident. (Though Bob Ross never painted such a surprised, panicked, violent tree)

Whether because protection didn't work, or because Lucio saw a glowing orb in a weird dream and decided to mess with it while he was sleeping next to you, neither of you were remotely prepared

It doesn't really compute for him at first. The growing thing in his stomach is about as real as the tooth fairy - it's a concept that people tell him about before he goes back to daily life

It's a concept he's fiercely protective of and wants the best for

On a practical planning level, you two take advantage of his relatively easy first few months to take on a bunch of high paying jobs and revisit villages that seemed like a good spot to stay in

He's almost symptom-free until the bump really starts growing and his body starts adjusting for the extra weight. Thankfully by then you've found a place to settle down and reliable income

Lucio, understandably, becomes a complete diva once you do

He's pretty darn proud of what his body is doing, and he's relieved beyond words that he's having an easier time than what his mother described, but he does not like the way he looks

Or the aches and pains, or the breathlessness, or the way his whole body feels swollen and sore. (at least his hair looks nice)

You've never had such a hard time keeping him to his intended budget. He sees one (1) baby item and his wallet flies open

His sweet tooth gets 1000 times bigger than it already is

[maybeamiles]

Okay so something happened in the Honkai Star Rail community that really bothered me and I'm trying to put into words what makes me so upset about it.

So Hoyoverse recently hired a new voice actor named Chris Niosi to voice one of their new characters. He is no longer voicing this character. The reason he is no longer voicing this character is because a bunch of people found out that in 2019 Niosi released a shitty internet apology for being abusive to people in his personal life in response to callout posts on Twitter and Tumblr. During this time he also violated an NDA about a role he played in Fire Emblem 3 Houses, and was replaced with Zach Aguilar. He did not face any criminal charges for this behavior, but it is a thing that happened. Naturally people are upset about this and kept asking for him to be fired, and some VA's stood up for him claiming he'd changed, and fans began to lash out against them too. Niosi ended up resigning, and Hoyoverse will hire a new voice actor.

So far, it seems this controversy has not affected his work. Since 2019 he's played Reigen Arataka in Season 3 of Mob Psycho 100 and was an NPC in Genshin Impact.

Now I have a few problems with the community reaction to all this:

Problem number 1: I spent way too much time in the Dream SMP fandom, and have heard way too much bullshit about people being abusers in their personal lives to be ok with any of this. Like part of the reason Dream SMP was so awful is that every other week there would be a new post along the lines of "Dream is the Worst! Here are 7 Heavily Censored Screenshots To Prove Why!" This stuff instantly activates my "I don't like this" senses, I have a very bad reaction to these things.

Problem Number 2: He's a fucking actor. Just because he now has a bit of fame in the community doesn't mean he's somehow more worthy of criticism than he was before. Hell, he still has work in the industry. Just go look up his IMDB. The only reason it matters more in Star Rail is because a lot of the Hoyoverse VA's make extra money off of being Hoyoverse VA's, like how Dan Heng's VA gets the other Star Rail VA's together to do music covers. Even then, he's WORKED WITH HOYOVERSE BEFORE. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THAT HE'S NOW VOICING A PLAYABLE CHARACTER INSTEAD OF AN NPC.

Problem number 3: Personally, I don't see what online abuse allegations from 2019 have to do with his role as a Voice Actor. Would working at McDonald's or in a less flashy job stop him from hurting people? No! Now, if I was hiring him, I would be nervous about that NDA violation, or that the abuse allegations might flare up into a PR disaster (like they ACTUALLY DID). I might not hire him for a major role. I might take concerns about his mistreatment of his colleagues more seriously. He might not be a Good Face for my company. But, at the end of the day, he is still a Guy Doing a Job, parasociality be dammned, and not doing This Job will not make anything better for the people he hurt.

(Also your (and my) favorite game has like, one not-pale dude in it and is made by a huge dev team that probably has shitty people in it just because that's what happens when you get a large enough group of people together but like heyyyyy let's all jump onto boogeyman of the week now shall we?)

(now, concerns about parasociality I do respect. Hoyoverse VA's are VERY parasocial, and tend to make a bit of extra money from fans by doing cool Hoyoverse VA things. But most people are like ABUSER = BAD AND GROSS and... ugh onto the next slide).

Problem number 4: ABUSER = BAD AND GROSS is a stupid black-and-white mindset and I think everyone who has this mindset should grow the fuck up. People can and do get better, I know people who have gotten better, people who it would be really fucked up of me to stop speaking to because of things I wasn't even alive for, when I don't even know the people who were hurt. People who have already had enough guilt and now need the space to live again. Hell, I've hurt people. You can't divide people into "good" and "bad" and you have to make room for change because if you do not you will hurt someone badly and that mindset will either break you with guilt or turn you into one of the "bad" people without even realizing it. (i reblogged earlier a comic about this exact phenomenon go read it)

At the end of the day I do think it was a good thing Niosi resigned because jesus fucking christ this was a PR disaster, and I would have hated to see him do something like Elliot Ghindi and use the parasociality of Hoyoverse fans to hurt more people (which is just a possibility, not something Niosi has actually done), but I don't think the internet Hate Mob was a good thing. I think bringing up someone's irrelevant personal details into their work life is a universally bad thing and even though he's a semi-public figure, nobody's private life should be exposed like that. There are court systems for a Fucking Reason and I know that they are flawed but also I genuinely believe that this whole internet tradition of making "callout posts" and stuff is incredibly toxic and abusive and I don't want it to keep happening in the fandoms I'm in.

[duskcourse]

Duskcourse Controversial Takes - 3

There is actually nothing wrong with "fakers" or endogenic systems using DID/OSDD-1 resources.

Yes this includes therapy for DID/OSDD-1

Yes this includes specialists for DID/OSDD-1.

Yes this includes community made resources.

Yes this includes them using resources for Systems.

Yes this includes products made to aid people with dissociation and DID/OSDD-1.

Yes this even includes the ability to take part in studies, events, and support groups.

At first upon seeing this post there are many people who would quite frankly refer to me as a monster who wants to see everyone with my disorder suffer and hurt. A lot of people (especially those who are able bodied) have preconceived notions about the impact of resources being used by a variety of people including those who may have no relation to the condition whatsoever. Yeah I'm saying singlets can also use our resources.

As someone who's physically disabled and lives with my partner who is also physically disabled I am deeply acquainted with ways to make treatment and aid for our conditions more accessible and ways we can contribute to aiding others. First of all most people live in a capitalistic society to some extent. Things cost money and there needs to be a demand for things. One small thing that can lead to more prevalence of mobility aids is simply for more people to buy them. The more often they're bought the more use they get- the more available they become.

Im the case of someone not needing a mobility aid, buying one can in some small part help accessibility. This is true even when the intentions of the purchaser are not good and they're planning to fake a disability for attention. Faking itself is a massive problem and horrible to do, but it doesn't take away resources. It doesn't destroy the lives of the disabled people around them- it makes them a fraud and a liar, but we are not destroyed nor swayed by frauds.

I take these principles and apply them as well to mental health. If there's a higher demand for education on DID and specialists to treat it, how could I not see that as a win? Even if it's because of "fakers" or endos or malingerers, or anything you want to call people who may technically not fit the bill of "needing" it. Sure there's some people who will take the prevalence of "fakers" and endogenics and use that as an excuse not to treat patients but they're the type of person who shouldn't have their license in the first place considering a refusal to treat their own clients due to being easily swayed and influenced by things like social media is a glaring display of an inability to actually take their job seriously or be mature enough for their occupation.

As much as you may want to complain that "this doctor wouldn't treat me!" you blaming the failure of the system to allow such a terrible person into the line of work on the people your own failure of a doctor balmed for their inadequacy and inability to treat you. I've been groomed by a therapist before, but I don't refuse to believe that there's any such thing as a good therapist! Not for I blame any of the people they blame for their actions.

When my psychiatrist refused to test me or even consider medication for my psychologists concerns of Bipolar, I didn't blame people faking or being over medicated on it. I don't have to blame innocents for my psychiatrist being weird about medication and wanting me to speak to a health professional during my next manic episode and wait to treat it until a massive disaster happens next time instead of just a few hundred page manifestos on people I was convinced were evil who were literally just normal.

Endos and people you might consider "fakers" using resources make those resources more common and more accessible.

If you want to see things get better then you need to accept that you're not special and if something helps someone that's AMAZING no matter why it helps them. I would love to see treatment be more and more accessible, I would love to see more and more studies come out both on DID and those who don't have it. I would love to see so much, and live in a world where our condition isn't so stigmatized that some therapists will refuse to even take on a client with it when they're not going for DID treatment.

[bonesandthebees]

Hi bee! hope you're doing well <3

I was on a long plane trip yesterday and forgot to pack a book so i ended up rereading the stars and their children because i had it downloaded on my phone.

while i was rereading it, i felt so immersed and it was almost like i was transported back to an earlier time, to when i was first reading the fic and i would get so excited seeing a post on this blog about a new chapter coming soon. your character work and writing is just so amazing, and i'm glad i got a chance to experience that again. i think stars- its world, its characters, their dynamics- is forever going to be one of my favorite works of writing

anyways, there wasn't much of a point to the post, i just wanted to share that :) i haven't been in tune with the mcyt community for a while now but i still have really fond memories of how it got me through lockdown and how it was my first big connection with an online community, and your fics were a big part of that, so thank you!

i think i'm gonna go revisit and reread some of your other works as well now because like i said, i just really like your style of writing and how intricately you develop your characters <3 i am sure the fics will be awesome!

Have a nice day!! don't forget to put on sunscreen if you live somewhere sunny :)

aaaaa this means so much to hear! seriously it's so sweet that even after not being in the community anymore you still get so immersed in the story. I'm still so proud of what I was able to do with stars. for what it was, I did a really good job telling that story and I still don't know how I managed it while finishing my senior year of uni lol

I'm so happy that my fics made that kind of an impact on your memories in the community :) for as hectic as it was at some points, being part of the mcyt community at its heyday was truly special and I'm so glad I was able to experience that and give so many people good stories to look back on

hope you enjoy the rereads!! I've actually been rereading a lot of my own fics lately too and it's been very nice. especially when I haven't looked at the fic in ages and I've forgotten a lot of the details I threw in. it's almost like experiencing it as a reader instead of the author haha

hope you have a good day!! <3

[pr0serpinas]

Some wee writer thoughts on chapter 7 of oceans brawl.

Man, I agonized so hard over this. I actually ended up combining two shorter chapters into one very long (for me) one because I just needed Sebastian to get on the road to picking himself up and was sick of dwelling on it myself. Haha, sorry, Sebastian.

But really, for how long I have been working on this (I actually started writing it in June and didn’t publish til August), it’s really…not as long as I thought, and I’m feeling a bit disappointed? I’d tell you the word count, but I’m on my phone. I had the very stupid (seriously, very stupid, don’t do this) idea to put the entire fic in one document that I just continually add onto, and it’s got to the point where the app hates it/me and won’t give a word count anymore, I’ve got to be on my computer. But I have, eh, maybe 4 chapters already written and an idea for more. I guess I just started with the aspiration of writing to the scale of some other works in the fandom, ones that have 6-figure word counts, and I’m not going to get there, most likely. If I had to guess, I’d say I’m somewhere between half and 3/4 done, which would be 34k-50k? I understand this is still a perfectly respectable number! It’s just like, man, the amount of brain space and time I have put into it doesn’t translate into a word count as much as I thought 😭 I digress!

Really struggled with the decision over whether to include Anne. My impression is that a lot of people in the fandom prefer that she is dead, either showing it for plot purposes or having it offscreen. And it was a decision that made me a little nervous because I don’t want people to be disappointed. But I’ve just spent some 24k words showing that Ominis can’t be Sebastian’s anchor. This is because of my own personal feelings and experiences: someone can love you more than anything (and Ominis does, whether he fully realizes it or not), and it isn’t enough to pull you out of your own head. For me, this is especially true if it’s someone whom I know will always be there for me: my mom, my fiancé, etc. When I’m in a certain mood, words from near-strangers are almost more impactful because they’re least expected. Because Sebastian has had this incredibly fraught, tenuous correspondence with Anne, actually seeing her in person would be incredibly powerful in ways that Ominis’ gentle consistency isn’t. But what I mostly want to show going forward is Sebastian making the choice to take ownership over his own life and being responsible for his actions. Bring alive is a choice—sometimes a conscious one. He has to reconcile that he cannot erase his past actions or magically wave a wand and get rid of his addictive tendencies. Ominis will have to learn to live with the fact that he can’t be responsible for Sebastian’s self-esteem, and the unconditional trust that he always placed in Sebastian as children is going to look different now.

I also felt nervous about cursebreaker-Ominis and Unspeakable-Sebastian. Cursebreaker-Ominis has been really well received! The people I’m close to are really, really good about not imagining sebinis to fit any one binary (top!seb and bottom!om, for example). That said, I see a pretty solid preference for Sebastian to do work that’s more physical and Ominis to do work that’s more cerebral in nature, and I know quite a few people who love the idea of Unspeakable-Ominis. Here, I’ve totally reversed it. Sebastian will possibly have the opportunity to explore the nature of dark magic and his addiction (he’s still very much an addict, albeit a non-practicing one), and Ominis can use the skills honed in his family to undo some of the damage they’ve done. It also adds another layer of “things they do not talk about.” Unspeakables can’t talk about their jobs—unless I’m mistaken, I don’t think they’re even really allowed to say they’re Unspeakables. Some readers have pointed out that Ominis has never actually told Sebastian what he does. They are correct, and this is on purpose. It will not get better any time soon.

These two really don’t communicate well, do they? My dearest and most excellent Plums made a very compelling argument that the relationship between them in oceans brawn is toxic. I didn’t intend for it to be, and it has a happy ending. But I can definitely see how it is, at least right now. Their lack of communication will continue to be an issue for a while.

[sanguinechaos]

cant believe i was so fucking delusional about Flamebringer and Enforcer interacting in some way that it came into existence

actually can we talk about that

listen i already Hortus de Escapismo would be a treat because its a Laterano related event and it involves my wife. actually he got an alter even i knew it i KNEW IT I WAS AN EXALTER TRUTHER AS SOON AS I SAW THAT BOUJEE WINCHESTER 1887 MY FUCKING WIFE IS HOME MY WIFE

and then they dropped the operator records for the Notarial Hall trio and for anyone who has not read those yet tl;dr from somewhat dubiously google translated chinese text:

in Insiders oprecs theres almost an all out brawl over a family heirloom donut recipe. its so funny to me that we all made fun of him cause his halo looked like a donut and he really is Donut Man™

actually his personal donut recipe is so sweet and greasy that the doctor nearly chokes to death on it. im pretty sure if you eat it you can physically feel your arteries popping shut

apparently he likes sweets so much because when they picked him off the streets in some small town bordering siracusa and brought him to laterano they gave him some candy and it just left such an impact on him

do all of you have dead parents is that like a requirement

he has donut pajamas

Executor oprec is kinda cute honestly. this guy is autistic. he has joined the war on autism on the side of the autism. anyway what we learned is that apparently his lack of empathy (as in the sanktas 6th sense) is something hes had from birth and not in fact due to his job as an executor

and also he has always had a black halo and wings. according to the manhua they also dropped his entire extended family has black halo/wings it has absolutely fuck all to do with him being willing to kill sankta if his job necessitates it its just genetic

he doesnt actually have that much of a problem recognizing what people are feeling, its more that he has trouble piecing together cause and effect or what those emotions mean to people. and his parents (before their tragic demise) taught him to like draw shapes on paper matching different emotions to parse it? cute

anyway the other executor that was on a mission with him when he was still a rookie bites the dust and Executor takes it so so so seriously and fucking tries to eat 100 scoops of ice cream because his senpai made a joke and he was just like "okay so that can count as a last will and testament i guess" like babe. babe. he applied for executive gelato funding

and they leave us hanging but i genuinely wonder how many he managed to eat before he probably vomited and couldnt see gelato for the next 3 months

Federico Giallo? no. Federico Gelato

also hes only around ~25 as of Exalter

Enforcer goes around asking various sarkaz about Kazdel cause obviously hes intending to go look for Cecelias dad with her

actual live reaction as soon as i saw 炎客 BEYONCE?! FLAMEBRINGER?!

Flamebringer is a wanted criminal the Notarial Hall has his mugshot on the office notice board (which tells me that there is NO WAY that Executor doesnt KNOW him or about him please i am so delulu rn Lowlight i fucking beg you let them interact kiss. violently suck face, even. "Dino wasnt this a 炎见 post?" if you were paying attention to my Twitter youd know i really like 葬炎见 in that exact order but ill take any combination of just two of them) and also he absolutely does not give a shit he just keeps watering the plants while Enfocer talks at him

Enforcer gets slammed against a wall and maybe choked a little unbelievable and Flamebringer is like "go bug someone else, blood is not for watering flowers" like oof ouch the edge on this guy

Mudmud helps Enfocer in the end tho :)

also he might be like 19 while my conservative estimate was at least 25 i THOUGHT the Notarial staff had law degrees now i get why everyone in Guide Ahead was like "waow, so young :o and already an executor!"

[baddygab-bi]

1. Anyone legitimately wishing death to her was maybe overstepping a little, like I get the anger completely, but let’s not do stuff that would allow her to play a victim card. That said…

2. What is this apology?? Firstly, she posts this with a picture of herself (?). Like you can’t just post the text, you wanna show yourself off too.

3. “And maybe it was insensitive after all” what did you think it was? I’m cis and was offended by it because I have a shit ton of trans friends and I’m also just not a shit person. It was very obliviously insensitive.

4. “It’s not how I intended it.” The emoji she used in the story following the words “Good one” (😅) was an interesting choice. I’m not up to date with all my emoji meanings, but this seems like one she purposely choose. IF she posted it and meant “good one” in a mocking way or you intended to post it to… I don’t even know… Bring attention to something stupid… Wouldn’t you make your position super clear? I don’t think there’s any possible way that spreading that post would be a good thing, but IF you were doing it to bring negative attention, you should bring damn negativity to it. “This is disgusting! Shame!” Clearly she had an intention that now she’s worried is gonna bite her.

5. She doesn’t follow the account. That means the image was either one she saw from someone else or she’s liked stuff like it, so it came up on her feed as a recommendation. If she didn’t mean what we all think she meant, then where did that picture even come from? I don’t know about you, but my FYP and recs are pretty well tailored to me. So, if this was a “misunderstanding” how did she even come to see this post?

6. I’m a working professional actor. I just had a conversation with an influencer trying to turn actor. The influencer is a major republican with offensive views — Yes, everything you think — and I literally told him that if he wants to seriously work, he needs to stay quiet because his views are wrong and offensive and can get people killed. He hated that. Said it took away his freedom. Actors are fully aware they are in the public eye. Everything you post is thought about because you know people will see it. She’s trying to cover her ass because she knows she’s gonna face backlash and if this spreads, it could truly impact her chances of finding more work, because our industry doesn’t put up with this bullshit. We don’t stand for hate. We don’t want people around who promote hate. If you have beliefs and views that are disgusting and you have a large fanbase, you better lock that shit down. Never voice even a bit of it. The second you start sharing those views, you’re putting lives at risk. She will cry on her live stream. She’ll claim anything and everything she can to save her job.

7. “I’m sorry to those who felt offended” She didn’t apologize for the post. She also didn’t acknowledge why people were offended, just that people could feel offended. I studied law, language is a big part of things and she is walking a line that sounds good on first pass, but then you realize she said nothing. If she was actually apologetic she would say so. She didn’t.

Sorry, this is all making me super heated because as an actor and just a good person I can’t stand people who have power to influence, promoting stuff that can ruin people, can hurt people, can kill people. It’s not a joke. This wasn’t a mistake she made and is trying to play victim of by throwing it on us. This is a big deal.

[gayofthefae]

People need to learn that some shows are "group of people get into hijinks!" and those can go on for 20 years. Some are "group of people get into hijinks! (but the hijinks are traumatic)" and those can go on for 20 years.

But many, many shows are singular arcs too. One huge story with smaller arcs inside it. Season arcs that make up a show arc. Character arcs that interact until they sync up and end. An arc planned from the beginning.

Just because Seinfeld wasn't planned out doesn't mean shows like The Good Place and Stranger Things weren't. They're different categories. I could go on a nerdy rant about how the transition from cable to streaming services impacted the structure of shows but that's not what this is about.

Unplanned, episode by episode or season by season even is a type of show. Not the definition of a show. For that reason, some shows shouldn't be renewed and I respect it when the showrunners know that. And for that reason, sometimes your idea wasn't the "better direction they could have gone but picked something else dumb on the fly". It can still have a meaning even if it wasn't the one you anticipated.

The Good Place is my favorite example of this because I will always respect the integrity they had to say "the entire point is that there is no meaning to life without death so it would undermine that completely if we refused to let the show die".

Shows can be planned or not planned. "It's not that deep" yeah sometimes it's not. sometimes it is. Just like how some things are comedies and some things are dramas so if you go online and go "Bob's death: Zero stars. Did not laugh at all. Actually, it made me cry. The writers are terrible at their jobs" you will sound like a fucking idiot.

The Good Place is not Seinfeld just because it's funny. Stranger Things is not Supernatural just because they fight monsters. And saying artists who worked their whole lives to get a platform in a very competitive business would never put in the time and effort to plan a story ahead of time or, dear god, take joy out of adding little details is illogical and just kinda mean. You sound like a "all people in Hollywood have no souls" conspiracy theorist. If viewers are able to be excited about background details, so are directors. Do you seriously think writers and directors aren't giddy little cringefail nerds?

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

So, with all the horrid stuff coming your way, Ange, I'm going to sit and counter it all.

Now, to those of you who seem to be convinced that she owes you interaction, know this: Nobody helped her get any interaction when she started. She did it all on her own. Ange is a phenomenal writer, and a lot of us in the fandom know it.

Now despite this, she chooses to be supportive of new writers that she happens across.

Exhibit A: ME.

I started writing here in the fag end of March, so that's like 3-4 months that I've been here. Now I need you guys to know this - I'm 21 and I've just started my career as a writer [I plan, curate and write content in the digital marketing space in ENGLISH] and there have been many times over the last few months where I've been ridiculously insecure about my capabilities, and I've doubted whether or not I'm good at my job many times.

This has to do with the fact that I come from a non-English speaking country. I speak three different languages a lot more than I speak english - meaning, I'm bound to make mistakes. But there's not a lot of room for that when you're a professional.

Now, my english is not shitty by any means. Some may say it is really good. But here's the thing - there is a lot of colloquialism in the way I speak. There is the Indian way of speaking, and there's the native, international way of speaking. The Indian way of speaking is not far off - but I am a professional who writes content for an international digital space. I'll have to better myself. That's why I came here. I wanted a fun way to practice writing!

Now, enter Ange - for those of you who may not know, she's a native english speaker who writes for a living too, with considerable experience if I'm not wrong. She's my beta. She proofreads the ever-loving shit out of my work, and whatever you guys read - believe me. It was not that great when I sent it to her.

With every correction you make, you makes my writing better. I learn from you each time, and I freak about my stories with you. I literally do by side-by-sides for fun, just to see what you've changed and mentally kick myself coz "HOW THE HECK DID I NOT SEE THIS SOONER?"

I was hired at my job because my employer saw potential, but it was under the promise that I get better with each day. And you have no idea how much of an impact the kinks you iron out in my work have had on me and my writing. I trembled about posting here when I did for the first time, and now I'm confident enough not to beat myself and actually feel proud. Not just here, but at work too. A lot of it has to do with you, and I'm so glad that I write here because this was supposed to be a silly little hobby - but now it's more.

So NO. You guys are wrong. Not only is she insanely supportive of new writers on the block, she also goes above and beyond for anyone who wants help with their fics. She always takes care to give my work her very best, because I believe it's just who she is.

But you know what I had to do for it? I had to approach her. Nicely. Because what you give is what you get. I was nice enough to her, and she's given it back to me. There are many writers apart from me who'd gladly talk about how she's supported them too. Nice people, who were good to her.

So no, you don't get to feel entitled to her time and expect good treatment from her. Not when you never tried.

Now, to those of you who seem to be intent on being mean to her for no reason, saying stuff like she may not be cool IRL-

I have been ridiculously anxious and painfully self-conscious my whole life (thanks mum and dad.) It has seriously affected my outwardness, which is why I keep to myself here unless I have something nice to say about someone's writing.

I only regularly talk to a handful of people here because I like sticking to those I'm comfortable with, and Ange is easily one of those few. She's insanely understanding my timidness and makes it very easy for me to talk to her. She's part of the reason why tumblr is a safe space for me, and she is one of the few that I seek out to talk to here. She supported me when I had fandom drama, and I am more than thankful that I have her in my corner here.

Now I like to think that if she's that nice here, she could only be a 1000 times better IRL.❤️

So yeah, that's my piece. I'm glad you turned anon off ange. You deserve a happy space here, and I hope all the way to the moon and back that you get it. For all that you've been put through here, you deserve nothing else. Ilysm bb, have the day you deserve. You are so loved here.❤️🫂

Sam, this made me tear up. Thank you so much for your sweet words. You are truly one of the kindest souls I have ever had the pleasure of meeting on this hellsite, and I will gladly be your beta for as long as you're happy to put up with the glacial pace I edit at. I love you <3