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boqvistsbabe · 2 years ago

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#like see what I mean I left stuff out #I did it on everyone #but like #in shock #Sam draws #Tyson Jost #devon levi #tage thompson #peyton krebs #Jack Quinn #buffalo sabres

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aroanthy · 11 months ago

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i love how fraught and complicated discourse around various utena characters ‘dying’ is when anthy is literally stabbed to death eternally by a million swords imbued with human hatred. and then utena gets stabbed to death by them also. like. ‘death’ is incredibly interesting in rgu because most of the time it’s this ambiguous figurative thing that has interesting implications re: ohtori as a closed-off world one can escape. we are all trapped in our coffins. mamiya is the only named character with a grave. nemuro memorial hall functions as one all the same. ruka is implied to have died in the hospital— was he dead all along? who was the boy we saw for these two episodes? is this dead boy the same boy, or is this just another coincidence from the shadow girls, cutting like a knife? it’s heavily implied that akio and anthy murder kanae by poisoning her, adding to the previous implication that they were poisoning mr ohtori too, but there are no perceptible consequences of this. kanae’s absence is not felt. she’s fed an apple slice. what happens to the bodies? we know what happened to the 100 boys, but what about everyone else? and so on and so forth. ‘death’ is a tricky thing in utena, i think it’s constantly functioning on figurative and literal levels in very different ways for very different purposes. dios died. dios was dying. dios didn’t die. he grew up. etc etc

#what am i trying to say here?#idk! think about all of the pieces you have #dying is complicated in ohtori in countless different ways #and i find it boring to see so much ‘this character is dead and that’s it’ stuff #when death is used farrrrrrr more figuratively than some ppl give credit for #and i think the movie too does wonderful things with death #and what ‘dying’ really means #being disbelieved. being forgotten. being rejected. haunting despite this #much more interesting to think about wrt commentary on abusive relationships than it is #to think about what?? oh me when my brother died but plot twist he’s alive and can walk on this road all cool. like?????#akio doesn’t have the power to make himself revenant #he THINKS he does and he absolutely has power when he’s alive and he imbues that power with such meaning that it does live on after him #but ANTHY. anthy is the one struggling with herself and her feelings and the impact of trauma and abuse (that power!!) in aou #he’s dead? he died? she brought him back through her memories? or she’s left him (metaphorical death) and he’s haunting her??#all such interesting interpretations #i haven’t mentioned touga bc i don’t have the energy today. if dead and just illusion of others memories then why active. why awful #like in aou akio is only Obviously scummy when he’s alive. his illusory self is based upon anthy’s love for him #if anime!touga is nothing more than nanami/whoever’s memories of him before he died……. why does he actively choose to suck again and again #like nanami wouldn’t do that. unless it was meant to be a subconscious thing like ooo he’s dead all along but that’s not what her arc is #it’s not ‘he’s been dead all along’ literally or figuratively. it’s ‘he’s unsafe and i don’t want him’#sigh. once again i am asking people to think about nanami and touga’s dynamic through touga’s eyes #it’s so interesting to me how people forget to consider his motivations or feelings on ANYTHING #like sure his motivations and feelings are scummy but they’re interesting!!!!! they intrigue me!!!!#compel me even #anyway ignore how i said i didn’t have the energy for this and then typed it all out anyway #dais.txt

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moonlit-orchid · 1 year ago

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Sitting here wishing my ADHD was more severe just so people could realise I actually have a problem-

#adhd #probably adhd #undiagnosed neurodivergent #undiagnosed adhd #stuff like this makes me doubt if i have adhd at all #i tried to explain how when i was doing my gcse preparations i would take a day to do an essay #“oh it takes us a whole week”#NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEAN #I HAD A WEEK TO DO IT BUT I LEFT IT TO THE LAST DAY #ON THE LAST DAY I COULDNT PROCESS THE QUESTION #I KNEW WHAT IT WANTED. I KNEW WHAT I SHOULD WRITE. BUT I ALSO DIDNT #i love english. both language and literature #but it would take me hours to even work out what i was supposed to write unless it was under timed exam conditions #when it was timed the panic would put me into hyperdrive #but i only realised last night that maybe taking a full day to work out what to write on a simple essay might not be normal #but then people point out that this kinda thing is normal and i just. dont know.#do i have adhd or am i just giving myself excuses for being slow #or do i expect others to be so much faster and see myself as slow in comparison #im so sure i have adhd but i dont know either

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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years ago

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set out to create a serious, canonesque drawing with which to say "feel free to go in my lackadaisy tag and help me mystery speculate" but only got going when i made it bowling and the rarepair agenda

#not that i imagine anything w/mordecai's Rare so much as: diluted range of possibilities lol. probably someones on that mordecai/virgil life #when it turns out it takes several tries to start to get more solid footing at drawing characters for the first time: What The?????#i actually don't think i ever tried drawing lackadaisy before; against all odds....if i had i would've had a head start lol #lackadaisy #corned beef #any collectively used pairing name here? mordenico? nicodecai? in absence of otherwise Knowing:#nicodeme savoy #mordecai heller #me in '07 going oh my GOD this ART!!!! me in '23 going oh my GOD this ART!!!! & guess how i've always felt years in between #goddd perusing the gallery bonus art afresh recently just like WOWWW i'm SOOO #the collages of full-body drawings for book purchases i think like my GOD i love to see it. plus that the Extra Stuff gallery means there's #such a variety like. stuff that's clearly noncanon; stuff that could be / kinda is; jokes; portraits; story / characters insight....waaughh #also shoutout to everyone behind all the mordecais in KS Backer Art 1 & 2 like ''sexy mordecai please'' apparently lmao. hell yeah #anyways my Marigold Bowling Team headcanons are simple and straightforward: nicodeme w/the muscle can get a strike from the force of having #hit one pin that smashes into all the others; but don't underestimate his versatility. mordecai with the precision / method & absolutely #who you want trying to hit the only pin left on the lane. serafine's got like serpentine curveballs changing velocity halfway down the lane #and they've All got pointing a gun at the people setting pins / returning balls b/c that wasn't automated back in the twenties #back when everyone had customized printed tees....oh fun fact. a real live kitty cat crinkled that first pic's paper by jumping on it #or really; ricocheting off of it. classic #also the ''i want people to seriously consider nicodeme/mordecai. but also sillily'' purposes have me using Close Contact as a shorthand #it's earnest and can sure be [longhand] too but you go ''You Could Never HC Datingly Affection ft. An Always Touch Averse Character'' & i?#well i scoff derisively and slowly swivel my chair around to face you; arms crossed; smhing....hah. how greatly you underestimate my power.#you're throwing [hcs for a romance ft. an autistic character] & [that ft. an asexual character] & i'm grabbing them midair & Sips Them #ha ha why these replenish my health And experience bars....#Never Be Afraid To Forget To Draw Mordecai's Glasses Or That You Also Put Your Thumb In A Bowling Ball....he's warming up. or w/e.#nicodeme w/the boxing experience shoulders massage trope. giving that pep talk #or you can go ''get a strike or we kill you'' b/c you never have to find out if he's joking or not #mordecai unfazed b/c that's the stakes in this business (bowling) & he's autistic so always having to ignore Everyone being weird/confusing #haven't come up with a lackadaisy's team bowling pun name lol.#still feel free to go in my lackadaisy tag and help me brainstorm mitzi n mordecai's murder mystery ;w; enrichment

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ahalliance · 4 months ago

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how do i turn qantoine’s spontaneous marriage proposal to qetoiles into evidence of his early-days fear of qfrench drifing away and keeping secrets from one another

#the conversation takes place in antoine’s vod: L’ANNIVERSAIRE DE TALLULAH at 41 mins ish #like . okay . its such a fucking crazy moment to me that still lives in my head bc it’s a a joke . but it’s also not #he asks etoiles directly after spiderbit wedding . ‘don’t you want to get married?’#after it gets mentioned*#etoiles turns him down bc he ‘doesn’t have time to fuck [he] needs to kill everyone’#and antoine says ‘well but— just a marriage’ like it’s the act itself that is the most important to him not anything that could come with it #the confirmation of partnership . of having someone to rely on . something that feels to him maybe more certain and solid than the #friendships antoine had at that point . like if he felt things were slipping and he was being left behind he wanted the certainty of #something like a marriage that is traditionally considered More important and certain .#and i think the end of their conversation is notable in how antoine brings up the notion of betrayal — he getting betrayed by others and how #he’s fed up with it . after etoiles says no to the marriage (though specifying that he’s gonna think about it) antoine brings the whole #betrayal thing up after a pause . he doesn’t necessarily consider etoiles as having betrayed him but it’s that lack of certainty #certainty that etoiles has refused to give him that makes him start to open up about how he’s tired of people promising him things (or #seeming to promise him things) only to leave him out and in the dark . and there’s an insecurity there that really shines if you take this #moment into consideration with the Larger Shifting his character is going through .#like tldr ; qantoine has begun to realise that his friends are starting to form deeper bonds with other people and thus keep secrets with #them which to him means leaving him behind . taking notice of this he brings this up to his friends in . not exactly direct ways . he #talks about how he doesn’t like secret keeping but doesn’t seem to push much further and he also tries to remedy the issue #of feeling left behind by doing shit as discussed above ^ however on account of the InHuman i’m not sure he understands what he’s doing very #well . and as we know antoine doesn’t make much progress and ends up retreating into himself and beginning to keep his own secrets . to do #his own shady shit . to work in the shadows and not be honest with any of his friends either . to hold them at arm’s length despite how much #he still cares . the only person he puts his full trust into anymore is pomme . not ayp who he deems too underhanded . not bagz who he sees #as having started the whole ‘secret keeping’ stuff in the first place . and not etoiles who’s actively going down a path with the codes and #resistance that he cannot follow #that was NOT a short tldr . why the fuck am i writing dissertation length tags about MINECRAFT BLOCKS #god whatever who cares i get joy out of this thats what matters #anw if you read this far holy shit ur insane . thank you #i am going to bed now godbless !#jay rambles #qfrench.posting

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maliciousalice · 4 months ago

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Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.

#the 'time travel' makes no sense when you think on it. What happened to Prime Chakotay? He got killed they showed that.#At the end s1 Janeway finds an 'alternate chakotay in an alternate timeline' and that's the one they go and get #we saw the original get merc'd in the message. That ACTUALLY happened. Lmao.....#They didn't prevent THAT death because they didn't go to THAT Solum with the Infinity and stop it from happening #instead it was 'ALTERNATE #' implying other.#OG Chakotay wasn't taken over by the alternative one either nothing suggests that was the direction for him in s2 #they didn't do anything like 'well you see chakotay because at the end of s2 when we converged timestreams you have merged with your other'#if they did want to recover the original from s1 then keep that clear instead of being convoluted dont use an alternate timeline wtf #instead the plot was focused on gywns stupid fucking paradox plot and her being fixed #chakotay was the one in a paradox too did that not matter nah dw about it he had to die for this outcome or someshit lmao why #In the extended message given to admiral janeway it shows him clearly getting left behind and surrounded. Sadly no one intervened.#I dont understand why they couldnt have just made s2 about his rescue alone IF they took their time it wouldnt be so difficult #to follow #above that the one they rescued was ruined by the 10 year gap so he wasn't 'saved' at all. God i hate s2 when you break it apart #I dunno the more i look at s2 Janeway and Chakotay the more upsetting it is. Janeway would NOT have settled for an imposter.#everyone going goo-goo gaa gaa over s2 but it's sloppy af imo and undermines a huge portion voyagers struggles #id really like them to flatly lay out their ideas because literally nothing ive heard explains the story or choices of s2 with conviction #instead it's oh clap for wesley or the new vulcan and other references yay #describe to me your timetravel clearly and i'll happily take a seat on it (there is still other crap stuff mind you)#this is the most repressed shit i my head i swear #im angry because s1 is so clearly mapped out to a brilliant degree and for whatever reason it's not in s2 #i can see through it #insultingly people are eating it up and claiming it's better than ever nah dawg embarrassing #there are nice ideas inside s2 but they arent adequately rewarded #it doesnt compare to the timetravel in other trek because they kept it clear #i mean it could have been an interesting parallel to endgame but in the end janeway didnt even rescue him lmao they dropped her #why bother building up this mission only for her to give up and go 'i'll hand it over because im told to'. Janeway had fuck all this season #let alone settle for not fixing her own timeline and her own friends deadly circumstance dw just grab another one from the shelf i guess #the emotional fallout was absolutely missed because they didnt elaborate on anything. Plenty of show but no substance from the characters

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phagodyke · 4 months ago

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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man #thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking #mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they #dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done #listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life #i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this #once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i #dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this #ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be #i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about #how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being #given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out #entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please #its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have #to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once #and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general #feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this #but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is #i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired #i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if #i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore #i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr #and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning #my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better #it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood #my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it #cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen #.vent #ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.

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late-night-vocaloid · 2 months ago

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VVV Music Live live reaction that I'm calling a recap | Day 2 | Part 2

Last part, let's wrap it up!

I wish I knew what they were all saying

Okay now this is what I’m talking about

Also this is the power I’ve been missing from Ritsu’s voice. I guess I haven’t been keeping up

Dramatic!!

NO WAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!! NO WAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

UNREEEEEEAAAALLLLLL!!!!

She’s so happy to perform it

I’m loving her expressions, is this what it’s like when you can understand the lyrics

They matched the drama!!

"RIP" is right!!

"Synthesizer V"? "Vocaloid"?

I really like the shape her ponytails give her with this outfit

Oh boy

Wow

Rivaling IA

RIVALING IA

Omg???

He’s going wild!!

He can put his hand in his pocket? He threw his hat off a second ago!

Yeah, you Are “Frimomen”

Wow they put everything into that

He’s playing the crowd

They should let him be in Guilty Gear

*Head in my hands* every Vocaloid man has some competition

Oh my god

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I knew he was coming

Well that was the highlight

NOOOOOOO I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA DO THIS

YOU CAN’T MAKE MY MAN GO ON AFTER THAAAAAATT

My poor guy. I believe in him

They better have a performance together now

Gakupo you have to serve

It’s so funny how casually they talk after their songs

Let’s go sword (I saw this beforehand)

VVV didn’t let Gakupo and Frimomen perform together because they knew they’d be too powerful

I like how they pushed his model’s expressions

Vocalooooiiiid

Her V6 ?

Her choreo on this one feels appropriately silly and happy for Gumi

Cute

Let’s go Unaaaa

This is who we had before Zundamon

They’re going to perform all of Kinoshita’s songs with all these concerts Una’s in

The void of space white noise……

Who is talking

And that’s day two!

VVV music live is always very long and packed with performances. I was looking forward to the choreography this year based on last year's and they didn't disappoint. I hope they can keep doing shows, they're always a lot of fun! That's all, thanks for reading!

#at this point there's like a day left in japan that the concert'll still be available to buy a ticket for/stream (as of dec 7th. 8pm EST)#it's called vvv music live 2024 and you can buy/watch by googling it and going to zan-live.com #it's like 5-6 hours so keep that in mind #they Did restream vvv music live 2023 this year so if you missed it and you see this late that is a possibility #aah I just hate when ppl miss stuff they wanted to see. but since I've been busy I had to stream it like the second to last day #I spent yesterday watching it and today documenting lol. I mean what would I rather take a hit to this or finals? finals will be okay.#I have dented the size of the screenshots folder #I looked back and it turns out I was making a post with several pics for each singer for 2023 so maybe I'll do that actually. later #thoughts #vocaloid #utau #synthesizer v #otomachi una #megpoid gumi #kamui gakupo #namine ritsu #tsuina-chan #frimomen

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i-havenothingelsetopost · 2 months ago

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genuine question, do you like maths?? i have a vague feeling i saw your post of tags or something that said something about it but i cannot figure out if it was in fact you or if it was even positive ahahah

Yeah that was me! I don't go looking for math problems, but when I happen to do them, I tend to enjoy it. Wasn't always this way — elementary school math was about speed and memorization and I hated that — but I had a really good teacher in upper secondary school, and it became about creative problem solving. It feels the same as writing a poem in meter or managing to untangle a really bad knot in a ball of yarn.

#i can't do math in my head or memorize formulas #and i'm not precise‚ which is bad for questions that are only numbers. like. 5+6=? type of stuff #because if all you need to is write the final answer‚ then if that answer is wrong‚ youve failed. don't get the points for the exam question #but! upper secondary school math! my beloved! (specifically lyhyt matikka‚ idk what pitkä is like)#there's a book that has all the formulas in it and you can use it and look them up even during exams. no memorization #it doesn't explain *how* the formulas are used but still #and there was more time than there ever was in my previous schools. and finishing fast did not mean you were better. i could take my time #and there were so many... worded questions? like instead of pure numbers they present the problem to you in words. phrases. prose #here is a situation. solve it #and you get to choose HOW to solve it #sometimes i could not remember how a formula worked‚ or hadn't quite figured out a recently taught technique yet #and i just. figured out a different way to solve the problem #can't remember the answer to 5x8? let's count 5+5+5+5+5+5+5+5 instead #38/7? lets draw 38 little balls in the margin and separate them into groups of 7 and see how many there are and how many strays get left out #like that but applied to lots of stuff #and it was enougj! it was fine! it was a valid way to solve it! i got the right answer!#unless i messed something up! a + turned into a - by accident somewhere in the middle of the equation #but! part of this level of math was that it was encouraged to write our whole thought process down #and i‚ unable to do it off the paper anyway #i wrote down ALL OF IT #and the teacher saw where i went wrong and that it was little precision things but that i had the techniques down and #i still got most of the points for those questions instead of losing everything because of an incorrect number at the end #these differences have meant everything #math is puzzles. puzzles can be fun #some of my first memories of math class are of me sobbing under my desk #i cried a few tears in all my matriculation exams too‚ even for my favourite subjects. but not math #one of the most important questions was a geometry one. i shine in that area #i grinned doing it

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strawberry-cowmilk · 4 months ago

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oh no somebody I do not want to know about my online presence might have found this account luckily I didn't find anything suspicious in my follower list but oh my god

#nana talks #its literally my dad too I'm not gonna get into the whole lore of why I genuinely don't like him but he's an awful person #I hope nobody has to deal with somebody like that ever not even my worst enemy I'm not kidding #so like I'm hoping he's not stalking this blog #like literally what can he do not like its gonna drive me off of the platform I literally don't care about his opinion of me #but its still unsettling if he is trying to keep track of his adult daughter like this #anyways I don't know if I should reach out to tumblr support because like they probably can't do anything #literally up until I was like 15 he had stuff installed that would let him see everything I do online #eventually that app or something of his shut down and I was free hehe #like this man did and said the most horrendous things under the sun and he's like omg why does nana not want to spend time with him #I don't even care if he's reading this he knows that I don't like him #best thing you can do if you have someone like this in your life is just do whatever you want don't let them bother you that much #eventually they'll realise they can't bother you anymore #like literally for the longest while I thought he would never shut up with the insults directed towards me #but like a couple of months of not caring about it and not talking to him later and he left me alone #so like if anyone reading this can relate I am proof that it does get better my dad is the most stubborn and mean case too #so I promise you it will be okay

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supersecretnerd · 7 months ago

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Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean

I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch

#goodbye volcano high #i dont have the money to buy it but god i need to watch a playthrough when i have time it's so interesting to me #like; the theme of 'yeah we're going die but that doesn't mean we can enjoy what time we have left' sounds amazing to me love that #its so funny i was actually watching a review of it that was basically 'this game sucks and here's why'#and then it just started listing off shit like- 'the characters designs are pastel they're nonbinary you die no matter what'#and then my neurons just went off and went '👁️👁️ oh! sounds amazing i want to see more'#fuck yeah pastel nonbinary dinosaurs lets go #well i think its just fang thats nonbinary and then two other trans characters #i saw a cutscene! and it was about the experiences of being an apart of a family as sec-gen immigrant and trans-#and i thought that was cool as hell dont recall ever seeing that in any of thr arts ive seen before (but there's lots of art out there!)#heard it got some glitches tho (havent looked in depth of what those glitches are) hopefully it got patched out #also im so fucking pissed i saw the gator game before i saw this 😮‍💨 (context; apparently made by people who made a fangame where they #the mc of this game a datable side character and they only have a happy ending if they detransition? which fucking yikes😬)#i saw people say 'oh but they did it empathetically' like how the fuck is taking a canon nb character and making them only happy through #detransitioning empathetic that sounds super fucking shitty and gross #i think a character that detransitions can be done and would be interesting to see- but this just reeks of people being transphobic for real #oh also purple dino has a slug or worm or something apparently! seems cute! just a lil thing #apparently its a rhythm game; listened to some of the songs and it sounded good! sadly i suck at rhythm games #but apparently failing doesn't affect the story? kinda wish it would but honestly better for me lol-#pink one and fang end up dating i believe- from what i saw pink is like- soft spoken artist? dunno if accurate but she's cute #all the characters are cute just look at them!!! awesome #also they have to just continue school like normal before they die and honestly thats so real #also saw people dislike the fact you dont see the characters actual die or the meteor #which is ??? dunno i just think some things are better left implied than shown-#anyways man i keep trying to find neat stuff about the game and all i see is people bitchin about it or praising the shit fan on instead 😔#man if i had two nickles for a time i grew to become obsessed with a media only for loads of people to hate id have two nickles #first nickle is kat elliot she's such a cool character Internet wasn't ready for her #also yes i saw obsessed i can just tell this is something ill go bonkers for #i mean god look how much text is in my tags for this already! and i still need to see the game in it's fullness!#im sure there's other cool shit

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adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy · 11 months ago

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home from work

#if I speak…#one of the girls walked out yesterday #the best worker we have is on the verge of blowing up on this bitch’s leaders bc since he can do everything quick and efficiently already #they’re putting 3 to 4 ppl’s workloads on him to see how far they can extend his worth and then they’re over his shoulder the whole time #micromanaging him so today he almost lost it and was literally walking around mumbling about his disrespectful they all are (facts)#and how if they don’t think he’s doing it right then they can do it and I know for a fact one of the ladies heard him #bc he wasn’t even trying to hide it at this point and like this dude is cool he has a lot of patience and helps out any way he can #so if HE’S on the brink of snapping then the rest of us don’t stand a chance LMFAO #anyways today was a fucking mess those leaders know nothing about our store yet so they have us making less than what we need until we need #it so we get behind constantly and they made prep a disaster bc again they think they can just prep a bunch of stuff in the morning #and it’ll last the whole day and yes that works in theory but the reality of the situation is every day is different and today #we sold double what we did yesterday so they had to move me to prep to fix their mistakes bc we were running out of stuff 4 hours in lmfao #and I’m the only one left who knows how to do everything on prep bc the other girls had never done it before #we’re supposed to prep 20 mac n cheese trays in the morning for the whole day #we open lunch at 10:30 tell me why I go into the cooler at 12 put more in the oven and there’s only 5 left #it’s been less than 2 HOURS and you’re already running out of macs which means those idiots prepped barely anything just to try and save mo #*money to cut down waste but that gag if you’re losing money bc now you’re short on everything and customers are leaving bc they’re having #to wait a long time for their food #and macs take 40 minutes to cool LMFAO #I get over there they’re out of parfaits they’re out of fruit cups they’re out of kale salads the front is coming in and having to take #stuff as I make it bc they keep getting orders and it’s all just a fucking mess #I have to make a custom wrap and what happens?? those morons didn’t pull the flatbreads out of the freezer like they’re supposed to every #night so now we have no flatbread and I had to run back there and put them in the warming drawer to defrost and we lost an order bc I had #nothing to make the wraps with <3 #I go back there to get more cold chicken SPOILER ALERT they didn’t have anyone make any this morning so now there’s no chicken for the wrap #and salad and it has to be grilled and then chilled for 2 FUCKING HOURS before it can be used #they’re a fucking disaster like 😭#was the store perfect before?? ofc not but it ran quickly and efficiently as it should and now it’s literally just a mess #this bitch hasn’t even owned it for a full week yet and has already fucked it all up #womp womp!!!!!!

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technicolorxsn · 10 months ago

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love how there are pretentious video essays that just repeat the book and meander and ramble about house of leaves. it's what zampanó would have wanted. it is not, however, what I want

#anyway i finished the main portion of the book #all i have left is the poems and a few other small things i think? ive read pelafinas letters #im thinking of getting the full book of her letters #but also they severely messed with my head so we'll see #i will say. i do get why ppl say the book is pretentious and frustrating #there was a lot of stuff where i couldnt tell if it was supposed to be satire or if it was genuinely just that dense and pretentious #and a lot of the codes were rly obtuse imo?#like... idk. some of them were super obvious like the sos stuff or pelafina outright saying what to do #but others like. man how am i supposed to know johnny waxing poetic about pussy was coded #i mean that one is also pointed out though much later but i know i missed a lot just like it that werent pointed out #and ive heard theres a lot of shit where the message you get is just danielewski????? which gonna be real. kinda dumb.#but i did also really enjoy the book #there was a lot of stuff in it that was just so compelling or poignant or whatever other word #the minotaur stuff is good (ofc id say that though i love me some minotaur themes)#also a lot of the scenes with johnny just...... christ #idk how ppl say to skip them hes so fascinating #yeah i could do with him talking about his possibly hallucinated sex life a bit less but also his story is just plain interesting #i still think about the part where the girl he was talking to runs over a dog they had picked up........ it was fucking chilling #and his hallucinations of dying are so descriptive in just the right way to get under my skin #the uncertainty with him and his family..... did pelafina try to kill him? did his father just send her away for being a bit too overbearin #over an accident? was there something else? what was the deal with his foster family? with lude? gdansk man and kyrie?#how did it get published? who are the editors? why did the band know of the book before it should have been published?#why does his journal section end with a story from a man he admits to making up completely? the doctor from seattle doesnt exist #the chronological end is more hopeful with him saying things will be okay but then he puts a previous entry after that?#i think the burning of the book parallels the story nicely #johnny said his piece; he nurtured the book as much as he could; but it was hurting him and he had to give up on it #idk!#this book does make me feel a lil dumb ngl

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crimeronan · 1 year ago

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ugh i really am kind of fucking devastated about shadow and bone. it's not even about wanting to see specific book moments with specific blorbos, even tho there were in fact So Many storylines that the varying actors never got to play with the way they deserved to..... i just.

i liked the writing so much.

:(

#like i have the books i don't need to see a 1 to 1 of the book stuff on the screen. I Read Them Already #but it was SUCH a joy to see how creatively pieces of book canon were being fleshed out and updated and rearranged #you could TELL how much the writers and directors love storytelling and love this story specifically and now. :(.#luv what s2 did for-fucking-ever tho. For-Fucking-Ever. i dont care that every single storyline was left unresolved #WHATTA SANDBOX. i guess this means i have free rein to write 'dark alina has two hands' fic #that does cheer me. no canon hollywood thing would involve polyamory bc we arent there yet #THE KITKAT VERSION THOUGH. IN MY HEAD IT'S SO OBNOXIOUS #shadow and bone #negative #i suppose

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tardis--dreams · 4 months ago

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Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care

#i have 14 hours overtime #collected within 2 weeks lol #you know how it's apparently mandatory for companies in germany to have a way track employees working time? yeah we're #the only company in the whole fucking country who doesn't do that (obviously that's not true there's probably plenty more but it's #still not right.) so we don't get paid overtime nor does it get acknowledged in any way #so technically we're not allowed to even it out (which most people try to do anyway because tf do they think they are asking us to work for #free) but I'm dedicated to not collect any more unpaid working hours so i take the liberty to leave work early this week #so today i left at 12pm (and then got home 4 hours later because another person decided to kill themselves by train. they should call me #first. or anyone else taking the train. I'm sure there'd be plenty of volunteers to do the killing if it means not another miserable day #stuck in a disgusting train). and i logged in again at 6pm today to see if i have anything important messages (stupid i know)#and i saw the missed calls and that there had been an email exchange with me in the cc talking about the 'changes' made in one of the #articles and that someone else could do that for me since i couldn't be reached and at first i felt ashamed and scared #but now it's honestly just pissing me off. that asshole can't write emails and communicate requests like normal people can he #he already called me last week about something completely stupid and acts like his matters are the most important shit in the world #fuck you if you can't wait one day you should have sent this a month earlier because i won't stay online everyday #just to see if there might be an 'important' change you want me to make Immediately. bitch.#also missed two calls from my colleague but she didn't send any messages about what she wanted so i asked her because i felt bad for not #being online and turns out she wanted Nothing. just hear how i was. JUST TEXT ME THEN???? I HATE IT HERE FUCK YOU #seriously i don't get paid enough for this to bother me so much. she probably gets 12-15€ more than me per hour #of course she doesn't care about her overtime as much as i do. i get minimum wage which is less than what I'd get if i still worked at uni #as a student assistant so fuck this shit it's really not important or worth it. from now on i'll only put in minimum effort too #sorry got carried away. rant over now i guess #void screams #work stuff

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ashfdhfgdsfk · 2 years ago

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might remake to a new account entirely and change the name i go by

#depresso rant incoming skipp all this if you dont wanna hear it #txt #el/ena might have to become a deadname for lack of a better word sjdhfg #putting the slash because im beyond paranoid now #nothing on this earth is sacred i feel like ive lost the only safe space i had left #would you guys call me some silly name if i asked :-( fuck #shit im so hurt this is the worst #trying to be positive so im not just a huge drag but im so isolated in my real life and as stupid as it sounds #tumblr was becoming a little home id carved out for myself #and i feel like im never going to feel safe here again #but in order to tell you guys about a new blog url ill have to post about it which means they might see it too and uagshfg #and god it doesnt even matter bc my arts out there anyway and a few random 10k+ note posts so theres a chance theyll find me no matter what #and shit i loved so many of my old urls but i cant ever reuse them and i feel like im seriously losing my fucking mind trying to hide #like tumblr and having you guys was the only thing keeping me going through all this shit and it feels like ive lost all of that comfort #this is gonna be the worst fucking birthday ever dude just for that extra cherry on top like i seriously have nothing going for me rn SJDHG #denver and a few lovely mutuals to keep me kicking but oughgf #i feel sick #feel like i need to shower and scrub my soul raw to get this vile ass feeling out #god im sorry to be negative i rlly am i try to keep things cheery round here but im styeadily reaching my limit #and i want to reblog stuff to comfort myself but i dont want to reblog anything in case theyre watching and fuck im so dfjsfgjksfjkgsfkdgh #i could really go for a hug right about now s'all

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