#like plenty of people i know choose to live alone but that doesn't mean they are introverts/solitary

[prismaticsaltedink]

Scoria and Sakura are best friends! It's so cute when I see the things they do together, and it makes me so beyond happy that they both came to live with me so that they could share their lives with each other. They absolutely insist on it, and does so much good for the other.

I can't imagine how else they could have found happiness if things hadn't worked out exactly as they did. Scoria has basically been Sakura's "emotional support snake" while she worked through things from her past I'll never fully know that caused her a lot of issues with panic and fear. Sakura knows this too, and looks out for her sister, the only one she truly trusts and feels completely safe with.

The moment they wake up they both want each other to snuggle and play with. Scoria loves to be affectionate with both me and her sister who seems to have not had this earlier in her life- but Scoria is showing her how nice it is not only directly but demonstrating with me and Sakura also trying, copying what she has seen her sister do.

Sometimes when one goes to check on the other they'll join in on... I'm not even sure what they were doing. But they had a good time while taking a mandated union break from digging tunnels for the isopods.

So happy I get to share in the adventures of these two best friends! It makes me so happy to see them living their best lives together, and being beyond content snuggled together with their found family.

[starcurtain]

A Look at Ratio and Aventurine... and Ratio/Aventurine

I was morally obligated to use this picture.

Anyway, I got an ask about my understanding of Ratio and Aventurine's relationship both in canon and as a ship that I have been holding on to for a while now because... phew, there's like... a lot to talk about there... But I felt I should at least give it a try, so here is my attempt to comment on the intersection of two of Star Rail's most complicated personalities. Long post is longgggg; you have been warned.

First, Aventurine's canon relationship to Ratio:

In the interest of not hitting tumblr's image limit, let's just throw out some of the information we have in one go:

It's pretty complimentary. (Yet somehow...)

The implication of the infamous "Keeping Up with Star Rail" video is that Ratio understands Aventurine better than anyone else, and Aventurine knows this. At the very least, putting all shipping aside, Ratio is the person who can explain Aventurine's behaviors best. He's the person Aventurine chooses do so. This suggests significantly more knowledge of each other's lives than the game first led us to believe.

Other people (read as: my GOAT Owlbert) perceive respect from Aventurine to Ratio, and although I read them as a bit sarcastic, the 2.1 mission logs not only repeatedly confirm that Aventurine views Ratio as smart and reliable, but that Ratio is reliable "as always," again indicating a longer and closer history of collaboration than we get to actively see in game. The devs were working hard to tell us "Penacony isn't Ratiorine's first rodeo," which is interesting--given Topaz's voiceline recommending the Trailblazer avoid working with Aventurine whenever possible, we're led to believe through 2.0 and 2.1 that not many people will willingly work with Aventurine more than once, let alone many times.

While going through psychological scrutiny from the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come his Harmony-infused self, the "Future" Aventurine suggests that Ratio and Aventurine are quite similar, and that Aventurine puts a surprising amount of trust in Ratio, to be willing to hinge such a dangerous plan on something as untested as Ratio's ability to act. At the very least, Aventurine's own psyche is pondering on Ratio and whether or not their connection has any emotional meaning.

But despite all this evidence suggesting Ratio and Aventurine spend significantly more time with each other than we get to see in game, Aventurine's own thoughts cast strong doubt on whether he and Ratio are actually close.

Aventurine's "About Dr. Ratio" voice line suggests that Aventurine believes Ratio does not particularly like him. He seems to think that Ratio would prefer to stay away from IPC operations where possible, and it's "unfortunate" for Ratio to be stuck with Aventurine as a conversation partner. He's tolerated, rather than enjoyed. His overall impression seems to be that Ratio mostly views them as distant coworkers.

When the "Future" Aventurine suggests Ratio did not betray Aventurine willingly, actual Aventurine immediately pushes back:

(Personally I'm on the fence about whether this was real doubt or just a ploy to continue sussing out Sunday; see my other post about this scene for some more thoughts.)

But if we take this statement to be played straight, it implies that Aventurine doesn't fully believe Ratio will side with him, even (maybe especially) in dire circumstances. If this statement is real doubt, then despite considering Ratio the person who best understands him, despite building an entire life or death gamble around Ratio's loyalty... Aventurine still doesn't think Ratio even likes him.

Aventurine's not stupid or blind, so theoretically he should be able to read the situation better than that. But actually, there's plenty of evidence both in the game and outside it to suggest that Aventurine is not the most accurate judge of his own relationships to others and is a down-right terrible judge of his own worth as a person.

"Future" Aventurine suggests that one of Aventurine's deep inner flaws--the truths that he rejects about himself--is a massive inferiority complex. This is backed up well by the mission text, where Aventurine's thoughts about himself spiral into self-harm, and the scene in the maze, where "Future" Aventurine taunts our Aventurine with the unforgettable fact that his entire life was only worth pennies:

There's also pretty consistent self-deprecation, with both "Future" and real Aventurine noting several times that he's a pathetic mess of a person that other people don't trust or like.

The overall impression 2.0-2.1 left me with is that Aventurine is perfectly capable of respecting and caring for others, but virtually incapable of accepting other people genuinely respecting and caring for him.

Part of this seems to stem from the directly-stated sense that he's a failure whose only worth is in transactional exchanges, using and being used by others (there's so many layers to this--internalized racism even), but I also suspect that much of his inability to accept genuine connection from others is defensive behavior.

Aventurine's true self, Kakavasha, is deeply hidden away, like the ghost of the child that manifests from his Harmony delusion in the Dreamscape. Although Aventurine clings to that person, claiming that he has "never changed," he actively coats over his beliefs, his kindness, and his authenticity with the mask of a "cavalier gambler," with glitz and glamor and showy distractions. No one gets to see Kakavasha. No one gets to know him, because being buried deep in the dirt is the only way to remain untouchable, and fiercely keeping one's distance is the only safe bet. (For both Kakavasha and any fools who would doom themselves by daring to care for him.)

So: Canon is telling us that Ratio is one of, if not the, closest people in the world to Aventurine. But canon is also telling us that that still means absolutely nothing at all, because Aventurine won't let himself be close to anyone living.

Aventurine's senses of self-worth, trust, attachment, and safety have been warped so badly by ongoing and untreated trauma and mental health issues that, at least until the end of 2.1, I just don't think he was capable of even accepting genuine friendship from Ratio, let alone anything more.

(Interesting side note here: Ratio is actually one of the people Aventurine calls "my friend" the least. He only says it directly to Ratio a single time in all of their lines of dialogue across 2.0 and 2.1, and even then, does so only when right outside Sunday's door, while almost certainly being spied upon by the Family. Anyone who knows how often "my friend" is peppered into Aventurine's dialogue otherwise should know that the absence of the phrase is actually pretty telling. It almost feels like canon Aventurine's not even sure he can call Ratio his friend, at least to Ratio's face.)

Which makes Ratio's canon relationship to Aventurine quite sad and ironic:

From start to finish, Ratio canonically esteems Aventurine more highly than almost any other character in the game. I'm not even talking about shipping when I say that there is no character Ratio is closer to in the entire game.

At present, Ratio has only four voice lines about other characters, and of those four, Aventurine's is the only one that isn't someone from the Genius Society. The only one. Ratio's voice lines are also notably, uh, not very complimentary. Herta is "talented but not helpful to others" and "sees no one as her equal" (read as: she's self-absorbed). Screwllum is a "monarch, rather than a genius" (with the vague implications of being a tyrant), and Ruan Mei is overly ambitious and "fooling everyone."

Meanwhile, Aventurine is "our man" (who is "our" Ratio? who?) whose success "can't all be chalked up to luck," implying that part of Aventurine's success must come from skill. Ratio notes that Aventurine questions his own ability... but as far as Ratio's evaluation goes, he seems to doubt that Aventurine will ever experience a downfall. For someone who thinks 99% of the people he meets are mediocre failures scrambling around in the filth of existence, to be recognized as skilled and unlikely to fail is quite obviously glowing praise.

Then, of course, there are numerous moments that echo Aventurine's hints, implying that Ratio spends significantly more time with Aventurine than we see on-screen, that he knows Aventurine extremely well, and, although he tries (vainly) to pretend he isn't, he's clearly quite concerned with what Aventurine thinks of him.

Especially this last one. "No wonder that gambler likes you so much" is pretty intentional on the devs' part, confirming that Ratio and Aventurine are having off-screen conversations we players are not privy to, which obviously would indicate a closer relationship than the in-game cutscenes could cover.

Then, Trailblazer has the option to flat out ask Ratio to "rate" Aventurine. (Star Rail ship bait is not even subtle.)

At first, this line might read as all over the place:

"The bosses say we're partners but I wouldn't say that" -> Read as: Ratio wants people to know how their relationship is classified but doesn't want to admit to being actually invested.

"I see myself as the teacher to everyone I meet" -> Read as: Ratio at least pretends that he doesn't view anyone as his equal; everyone is either above him--geniuses--or below him--students.

"Aventurine is not that bad of a student" -> High praise; even Ratio can't pretend Aventurine's untalented.

"Actually, Aventurine's probably in metaphysical danger" -> Read as: Ratio is aware of the "void" Aventurine is experiencing and his mental struggles.

The ultimate takeaway of Ratio's "rating" actually says more about Ratio than Aventurine. When it comes down to it, Ratio's choice to answer this question for the Trailblazer instead of dismiss it tells us that Ratio has spent time quantifying and trying to define his relationship with Aventurine, is willing to at least discuss that relationship with other people (when we have no evidence he ever discusses any other personal/non-academic matters with anyone), and that Ratio pays attention to Aventurine's mental states.

Canon Ratio is not beating the allegations, I'm afraid.

But actually, I think the biggest tell about Ratio's canon relationship to Aventurine is that Ratio's behavior completely changes the moment Aventurine appears in the game.

In every single one of Ratio's other appearances, two facts are hammered home again and again:

First, Ratio hates interacting with fools and "noisy" people. He wears his plaster bust so that he doesn't even have to see them. Canonically, we're informed by both March 7th and Argenti that Ratio brought and was wearing his headpiece in Penacony. Curiously though...

The players never see it throughout 2.X--probably because 90% of Ratio's scenes are with Aventurine, and Ratio is never shown wearing his bust on screen with Aventurine--even in their very first meeting in the Final Victor lightcone. Aventurine clearly knows of the bust, but despite Ratio verbally going on and on about how Aventurine is the most "flashy" and "devoid of logic" person Ratio knows... the devs deliberately send their message: Ratio has chosen not to cut himself off from Aventurine.

Aventurine can be more "clamorous" than a screaming peacock, but Ratio will still not put up walls against him. This isn't accidental. The devs had every opportunity in the world to go the opposite route and make jokes about Ratio refusing to take the bust off in Aventurine's obnoxious presence; instead they decided that Ratio apparently has a glaring, Aventurine-shaped exception to his "I don't want to perceive you fools or be perceived by you" life rule.

This "willing to tolerate shenanigans only if Aventurine is involved" behavior continues basically throughout all of Penacony's plot. In 2.3 for example, if you turn around and talk to Ratio again on the Radiant Feldspar, he flat out says:

But there's no actual explanation for why he's there in the first place. He mentions he was assigned to watch over "the IPC's ambassadors," which theoretically should apply to Jade and Topaz, yet we never see him interacting with them in any capacity. He's never even shown in the same room as Jade or Topaz, and he's not shown doing any other form of business for the IPC on the Feldspar either. Theoretically, he could have been on the Feldspar to meet regarding the Divergent Universe... except Screwllum wasn't there yet, and Ratio doesn't mention a single word about the Divergent Universe to the Trailblazer.

The only person Ratio talks about in his dialogue on the Feldspar is Aventurine, and the only non-Trailblazer he talks to in 2.3 at all is also Aventurine, replying to him and only him in the group chat.

He looked like he might give it a shot to try to befriend Boothill and Argenti at the end of 2.3... but immediately changes his mind and leaves without saying a word to them.

It's not really a stretch to suggest that the only reasonable excuse for Ratio to attend the party on the Feldspar was if he was there for Aventurine, a behavior that he himself notes is out of character. ("A waste of time" he says, as he stands there anyway.)

But, second and even more importantly: Ratio's single most defining character trait is that he believes people need to pick themselves up. The entire point of his debut appearance in the game was to present his philosophy that if the powerful or privileged intervene to continually "save" the mediocre, ordinary people will never learn for themselves or get the chance to grow. It is in times of desperation, he says, that fools exceed their limits and reach greatness.

This is why, in 1.6, he insisted on Asta and the Trailblazer being the ones to solve the attacks happening on the space station, without relying on Screwllum or the other geniuses. Although Ratio did actively intervene a little (using the phase flame to save the researchers from death), he did so only from behind the scenes, where his actual help would not be noticed by those affected and where it had no impact on their decision-making or their struggles to solve the mystery.

He let Asta and the Trailblazer panic. He let them flounder. He even deliberately misled them at points, claiming that Duke Inferno must have kidnapped the researchers (when it was actually Ratio himself who re-routed them).

Ultimately, Ratio let Asta and the Trailblazer grow from their experiences.

This is also why he lets the Trailblazer go blazing in to fight Ruan Mei's faux emanator of the propagation, despite knowing that Trailblazer was not actually strong enough to win. Ratio watched and was ready to intervene... but in the end he did not, because it was the Trailblazer's fight to lose.

Ratio's most defining character trait is that he believes standing back and observing is the true kindness, rather than inserting oneself and denying people their autonomy or opportunities to grow.

Buttttt... then there's Aventurine, and suddenly the story is completely different.

Suddenly, Ratio isn't an observer but becomes essential to the plan. He's even walking around making big claims about being the manager of the task, flexing all of his C+ acting ability to actively carry out their mutual ploy.

In 2.3, he claims he was just there to watch, and his Penacony sticker asserts he's only "a supporting character"--yet we have never seen Ratio take a more active role in the entire game. Unlike with the Trailblazer in 1.6, he's not primarily watching events unfold from shadowy corners. He's in Penacony as Aventurine's active partner in crime.

And, even more telling--he later jeopardizes their entire mission just to ask if Aventurine needs help.

What? Huh? The character who is famous for the voice line "You look distressed. Is something troubling you? If so, you can figure it out for yourself" is suddenly offering his assistance entirely unprompted?

The guy whose motto might as well be:

Is suddenly out here throwing his own core philosophy out the window to solve Penacony's mystery for Aventurine and save him from himself in Aventurine's hour of greatest need?

A lot of people get hung up on the second half of Ratio's letter, the part about staying alive, which of course is very sweet. But I think the second half causes people to forget that the first part of Ratio's letter is, quite literally, the answer to Penacony's mystery.

Ratio gave Aventurine the answer.

This is like if your professor just gave you and you alone the score key to the final exam and then turned around to insist he "doesn't play favorites."

Of course, Aventurine is brilliant and didn't need Ratio's answer about dormancy, which makes the fact that Ratio went out of the way to give it to him even more odd. Ratio despises unnecessary repetition. If he wasn't dead worried, he would never have given Aventurine an answer that Aventurine had the power to find on his own.

And, as far as canon tells us, Ratio has never done this for anyone else.

The difference is night and day. It's literally the Gordon Ramsay meme, with everyone else in the entire game being the "fucking donkeys" to Aventurine's "Oh dear. Gorgeous."

So: Even if we entirely put aside shipping, if we look strictly at what we're given in canon:

Ratio treats Aventurine with more respect than he treats most other characters in the game.

He involves himself in Aventurine's struggles in a way that he flat out refuses to do for anyone else.

He compromises his own beliefs purely out of concern for Aventurine.

So, at least as far as we've been shown in canon, it is accurate to state that Aventurine is the closest character to Ratio--and unlike Aventurine (king of self-gaslighting), Ratio isn't even good at acting like he doesn't care.

Frankly, the whole thing is a little sad. Ratio's behavior is so blatantly out of character that a smart person like Aventurine should easily be able to determine it is genuine, but Aventurine's personal hang-ups and ongoing trauma make it difficult for him to even see that authenticity, let alone put faith in it. Even in canon, Ratio is mostly unable to help himself when it comes to Aventurine, which is especially unfortunate given how badly skewed Aventurine's perception of himself and others is by the start of Penacony's story.

PHEW! I finally made it through canon content!

Now there's just... everything else... 🫠

Well, to be honest, I don't think I could ever manage to put all my thoughts about this ship into one post. Probably not even fifty posts.

So rather than trying to say everything there is to say about Ratiorine, what I want to focus on is how fantastically these two characters just fit together. Like puzzle pieces that need to be mirror opposites in order to link, these two characters parallel each other while also perfectly filling in each other's voids. It's some of the best character pair writing I've seen in a long time (though I'm still sort of convinced it was at least 50% sheer luck on Hoyo's part), and my perspective on their ship can really be tied to my underlying perception of Ratio and Aventurine's characters as remarkably similar individuals:

It's obvious that Aventurine is not a healthy or well-adjusted adult man, but like... neither is Ratio.

Both of these characters are "not quite right" marginalized people who, at least in my interpretation, have essentially given up on even faking normality and are now just vaguely play acting their way through being functioning members of a universe that is entirely unequipped to accept them for who they are. In a world full of cyborg cowboys and people with wings growing from their heads, the game still manages to somehow convince us that Aventurine and Ratio are odd ones out.

Kakavasha can't even exist in the dystopian capitalist hellscape of the IPC's machinations. "Aventurine" isn't even a real person, just a never-ending performance, a slick, devil-may-care persona without a single ounce of substance.

Ratio, meanwhile, is a world of one, rejected from the only place he thought he could find validation and acceptance but unable to lower himself to fit in anywhere else.

Aventurine is so bad at making genuine connections that he turns everyday conversations into gambles because he doesn't believe people will care enough to keep talking to him without tangible incentive.

Ratio's insistence on treating everyone as students, not as equals, also means he has an excuse to never emotionally engage with anyone he meets. (This is not at all a textbook method of intentional avoidance to prevent any chance of social rejection. Not at all.)

At the end of the day, Aventurine and Ratio both come across as desperately lonely, and so caught up in their own situations that they really don't have the ability to climb out of that hole on their own.

Preventing them from even being able to maintain any form of relationship is also the fact that neither one of them can even find justification. Neither one of them has a reasonable answer to the question "Why am I alive?" anymore, because Aventurine's reason died on Sigonia and Ratio's reason died with an IPC invitation instead of a Genius Society letter. Though their differing perspectives have led them on opposite paths pursuing their own answers to that ultimate question of "Why should I keep living?" (Aventurine was headed toward giving up before the end of Penacony, while Ratio has invented an immeasurable, impossible goal to distract himself from feeling purposeless), both of them are pretty much miserably unfulfilled in their current lives.

They're also both violently allergic to emotional vulnerability and to having any of their flaws or true desires actually be perceived. Both of them put up insanely high walls. Aventurine pushes boundaries with everyone he meets to provoke their hatred in advance, before they can come to disdain him for his "real" flaws. He acts out harmful racist stereotypes to use others' preconceptions for advantage, manipulating every situation he's in--incidentally affirming the stereotypes against his people by doing so.

Ratio puts a physical wall of plaster between himself and others, but the plaster bust actually doesn't have anything on the mental and emotional gymnastics he's engaged in to justify his isolation from the world, doing everything in his power to convince himself that he's isolated by choice, that it's perfectly logical for Veritas Ratio to have nowhere to truly belong, no one to truly belong with. He's so mundane after all. Of course the geniuses don't want him, that's just commonsense. But everyone else is so... different, so foolish, so illogical... It just wouldn't be reasonable of him to try to become one of them either, to be their friend instead of their distant educator. (You know, if you never try to integrate with others, then they can't reject you. Ratio has learned his lesson.)

Somehow, Aventurine and Ratio are two of the most competent and successful people in Star Rail's entire universe and simultaneously also two of the most misfit, reject, dysfunctional messes in the game. Like... Blade has a better support network than Aventurine and Ratio combined. The 7000-pound murderous mech with a disabled, genetically-modified war veteran who never got to live a normal human life hiding inside it is more capable of making friends than Aventurine and Dr. Ratio.

Which is why I love that the devs decided to make their canon backstory: "Some absolute treasures in the IPC and the Intelligentsia Guild had the galaxy-brained idea of pairing Ratio and Aventurine as strategic partners." The game's writing really said: "These two characters are so socially stunted, they have to be assigned a relationship like it's homework."

They may not have it all figured out yet, but the fans see the design: Now that Ratio and Aventurine have each other, they're not alone anymore. I have never seen two characters better fit the "Is anyone going to match my freak?" meme only for the actual answer to be "Yes."

Ratio is "plays chess with himself" levels of loner weird? No problem--Aventurine is "Wanna take bets on who's going to die today?" weirder. Ratio wears a plaster bust to ward off idiots? Aventurine transforms into a monster on command, which is pretty much guaranteed to achieve the same effect.

Ratio wasn't chosen by Nous? That's fine, Aventurine's one job as a "chosen one" was to save his people and now they're all dead. Nobody can keep up with Ratio in conversation? Watch a single comment from Aventurine turn him into a fumbling mess on live television.

Ratio's inability to relate to the experiences and development of any peers his own age have left him extremely isolated and with a permanently scarred sense of self-worth? Wow, I wonder if Aventurine knows exactly what that feels like.

They just... fit.

And, changing focus a little here at the end: While I personally think that recovery from trauma requires internal motivation and self-kindness foremost, I also think that Ratio and Aventurine's relationship should be considered from the perspective of how they help to fill each other's gaps.

Unlike any connection at the Genius Society who will always evoke unpleasant memories of Nous's rejection, Aventurine isn't going to make Ratio feel intellectually inferior. Aventurine has nothing but good things to say about Ratio's intelligence, and it's even apparent that Ratio felt comfortable enough to at least mention his Genius Society woes to Aventurine, something he explicitly does not do with anyone else.

Even when it comes to social interactions, Aventurine isn't going to make Ratio feel inadequate, because honestly? Aventurine's almost as bad at them as Ratio. Aventurine is much better at faking it socially, but when it actually counts? When he's trying to be real with others? A solid 70% of the people who meet Aventurine still end up wanting to strangle him. The guy tried to apologize for threatening to detonate the Trailblazer like a bomb by buying them a model train...

Then there's this:

Aventurine is the only character explicitly called Ratio's equal in game, and more than just treating him respectfully as an equal, Aventurine also exhibits one extreme appeal that no one else in game has ever shown to Ratio: Aventurine makes Ratio feel needed. For Aventurine, Ratio is not a forgettable after-thought as he is to Herta and most of the other geniuses. He's not just "some weird guy who scolds me about school" like he is to the Trailblazer. Ratio's intellect and skill were integral to Aventurine's plan from step one to the very end. Ratio has a place in Aventurine's plots. For a character who directly assesses worth by how beneficial a person can be to others, the fact that Aventurine can make Ratio feel wanted and valued probably produced some of the strongest personal fulfillment Ratio has had in years.

On the opposite side, Ratio's in a unique position. Out of every relevant character in Aventurine's story, Ratio is the only one who has nothing to lose by choosing Kakavasha over "Aventurine." Ratio doesn't profit off Aventurine or take any expensive gifts from him, like the Trailblazer does. He doesn't need Aventurine's luck for anything at all. He'd be able to work for the IPC even if Aventurine wasn't in it. Ratio certainly doesn't want the glitz and glamour of a shallow gambling hustler persona. His work doesn't require Aventurine's continued involvement like Topaz's and Jade's does. He'd probably prefer not to know any Stonehearts at all, thank you for asking.

Outside of deliberate-acting insults about Sigonians for Sunday's sake, we're not told that Ratio has any connections to--and therefore has no preconceived biases against--Sigonians. Being a person who values self-determination and a refusal to live in mediocrity above all else, he would have nothing but esteem for how far Aventurine has managed to come despite the harsh circumstances of his life. Ratio probably wouldn't even think Aventurine's belief in Gaiathra is that strange; one of Ratio's doctorates is actually in theology.

Unlike literally everyone else in the universe who needs "Aventurine," we have every indication that Ratio's respect and admiration will only grow when he finally gets to meet "Kakavasha."

Loneliness, rejection, betrayal, a lack of understanding from others--all of these can leave wounds that only genuine, deep bonds with others can heal.

On death's doorway, in the darkest shadow, when Aventurine had to make the choice between passing on to be with the family that loved him and choosing to return to a reality without them... Ratio's letter was there, telling Aventurine the exact thing he needed to hear to choose life: Someone is waiting for you to come home.

If the resounding rejection of Star Rail's Nihility is belief in humanity's power to make meaning in our own lives through our connections to others, then the ultimate message of Ratio and Aventurine's arc in Penacony is that no one needs to be alone. The world is not as empty as you fear.

And that is a message that Ratio and Aventurine can learn best through each other.

(I just... love them so much...)

[mlbigbang]

2023 Marichat & Ladrien Fic Rec List

It’s the end of the year which means it’s finally time for the ML Big Bang’s yearly fic rec lists! We’re really excited to bring you our contributors’ favourite fics started this year to supply you with plenty of reading material while you’re waiting for the Big Bang fics’ publication in January.

Boulangérella by @aidanchaser

Once upon a time, magic was wild. The two princes of the kingdom have been tasked with choosing their brides by the end of their 21st birthday celebrations. Crown Prince Adrien Agreste will have to choose between a woman who can protect his kingdom, a woman offering the power to wake his sleeping mother, and the woman he has loved and admired for the past year. Then there's also the seamstress that he is suddenly falling for. By the time he realizes he doesn't have the power to choose at all, it may be too late.

It's a creative Cendrillon retelling with the kwamis as fay, Adrien as the kingdom's prince and most wanted thief, and Marinette as the seamstess and superhero partner stealing Adrien's heart twice over.

Scary, like a little black purring kitten by @h-sunnywet-d

The calendar just turned into October, and Chat Noir has to make sure that his Good Friend Marinette appreciates the new season wholeheartadly. It sure won't backfire on the long run.

Just An Ordinary Girl by @kasienda

Chat Noir and the other heroes are in a bit of trouble, and Ladybug wanted just one weekend off! But luckily they know someone who can help. Someone who is just an ordinary girl…

you will never sleep alone (i'll love you) by @ladyofthenoodle

Marinette had saved up for months to be able to afford this vacation. Not only that, but she’d spent months trying to convince herself that it was okay to even take a vacation, that Monarch was really and truly gone. Which was why Tikki was at home with Alya, so that Marinette could actually relax and enjoy the plush amenities the hotel had to offer, such as a bed that looked like it cost five times her monthly salary. Or, she would be able to enjoy it, if she wasn’t standing in the middle of the villa she’d booked over a month ago, fighting for the bed with freaking Chat Noir, of all people.

May I introduce myself, Your Highness? by @chocoluckchipz

Whether picking up a stray animal off the streets or saving a dying child at the market, Adrien had always strived to be the best version of himself. Truly, he would've been the perfect candidate to be snatched up by a kwami, were he an orphan, dying somewhere remote after a short life full of nothing but suffering and misery. Yet as it stood, the sole heir to the French throne had little to complain about. Apart from, perhaps, a complete absence of a love life. That is until a mysterious girl, wandering around his gardens at night, catches his attention.

This fic has it all - Ladrien, royalty, fairy tale elements, magic and disguises! It's an enthralling read and one of my absolute favorite fics from 2023.

The Perfect Date by @peachcitt

“I dare you to ask this special someone on the date you just described.” “I totally will,” Adrien says with confidence, looking into the camera and nodding resolutely. “Scout’s honor.” He holds up the kitten as if swearing an oath. There is a space of silence. “Right now,” Hanna says. Adrien stares at her. “I’m daring you to ask that person out right now,” she says. or adrien has a little slip up during a live interview, and ladybug hears. for the golden hour zine!!

reserved by @luckyyoyo

“Don’t you think,” he coughed, a blush creeping up his cheeks, “this kind of thing should be.. reserved for my girlfriend?” He gestured to their poses. A squeak came from her mouth and her knees buckled, but surprisingly still had no struggle keeping Adrien up. “You know, you could always be my girlfriend.” Ladybug, saviour of Paris and local damsel-in-distress Adrien Agreste, suggests he gets a fake girlfriend to ward off his zombie fans. While lovingly holding him in her arms, of course. Adrien, far too comfortable in her arms, suggests it could be her. Introducing your superheroine pretend-girlfriend to your strict, uninterested father is a bit harder than Adrien realises.

Displaced by @kasienda

Adrien loosened his tie and dropped his suit jacket unceremoniously across the back of the sofa that was already cluttered with unopened boxes, mail, and unfolded laundry. He really should have listened to Nino and hired a maid or cleaning person of some sort. But well, he still had a secret to keep, and keeping that secret was more important to him than ever. He moved to his bedroom on autopilot without turning on the light, intending to collapse into bed immediately. But when he tried to slip into his space, he found it was already occupied. He flipped his phone flashlight on towards the ceiling to light the room in a soft glow. In his wife’s place, Ladybug lay sprawled diagonally across the bed.

here comes the rush before we touch (come a little closer) by @ladyofthenoodle

When an akuma attacks during Adrien Agreste's beach themed photoshoot on a dreary day in Paris, Ladybug is on the scene immediately. Unfortunately, with a glimpse of Adrien's alluring abdomen and without her partner, it's not long before she's hit, and Adrien with her—but maybe Ladybug can afford a little vacation with the boy she loves. He's certainly not complaining.

On Borrowed Time by @miabrown007

The life of Paris’ Golden Boy is all shine and glamour; blindingly bright smiles, neverending parties, bargaining for just a shard of time for being happy. But that’s alright; Adrien has long given up the false hope that someone will get it. That is precisely why it’s a spectacle when she does, when she barges in like a hurricane in crimson and turns his life upside down. Heaven knows, it’s time for the wind of change.

[multifanhoe99]

Kinktober Day 10- Public Sex

I am basing this one off a true story please don't do this it's so risky and unsanitary.

Paring: San x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Sex in a port-a-potty, FWB, degradation (calls reader a slut), he likes the reader but doesn't know how to tell her so he's kinda mean cause she likes his bad boy act.

=Let me know if I missed any.=

18+ MDNI

PROMPT LIST

MASTERLIST

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wondered how it was exactly that you found yourself in this position. Never in a million years did you think that resident bad boy Choi San would even glance in your direction much less have you bent over for him on the regular. The truth is though that San is about as close to a real bad boy as a puppy is. His cool demeanor and sharp gaze always seemed to convince people that he wasn't up to any good but to those who knew him best he was a big softie. He lived to cuddle and was a real romantic and he truthfully had the biggest crush on you.

You were so sweet and beautiful and always seemed to make whomever you were talking to smile. He's been playing into the bad boy act for so long now though that he has no idea how to ask you out properly or even get your to see the real him. His best friend Wooyoung tells him that he just needs to do it but is he's being honest he's scared. That's what got him in this mess in the first place. He was finally going to ask you out. He was preparing himself all week but when the time finally came he chickened out. Then, he saw you at a party. He decided he was going to tell you then, after plenty of liquid courage. Maybe, he had a little too much because then next thing he knew was that he came up to dance behind you and instead of asking you or properly like he planned he ended up saying, "What is a pretty little thing like yourself doing all alone?"

"Um, well I w-was just looking for my roommate. She's here somewhere," you stuttered feeling hot with San being this close to you. You had no idea why he was choosing to talk to you but you couldn't deny that it made you feel good to have this resident bad boy all over you for the moment.

"Forget her, let me be your roommate tonight yeah? I'll make you feel so good you'll be begging me like a desperate slut by the end," yeah he definitely had to much. Be want supposed to say any of that but his mouth was moving faster than his brain. That is how you both ended up in your friends with benefits relationship. He would come over and fuck your brains out, saying the nastiest things to you and you loved it. You assumed that was all it was but to him, he used it as a twisted chance to get to know your and spend time with you. Unbeknownst to you that is why he so often chose to stay at your place even though he said it was just because he was to tired to go back to his dorm.

One day he invited you to go to a concert with him. He said he got the tickets for free from a buddy but he had actually bought them and planned on taking you because you're favorite band was headlining. You played it off very cool but on the inside you were screaming you were going to see your favorite band and with none other than Choi San. You couldn't get your hopes up to much though this was definitely not a date even though it did kind of feel like one.

Soon it was the day of the concert and right on time at 4:30 San was at your dorm ready to pick you up. You got there early even though you had seats but you didn't want to miss any of the openers either. Everything was going well and you were having a great time. You and San jammed out to the music and you were dancing and having fun.

"Hey," you said after a while, "I'll be right back I am going to get another drink."

"Wait," he replied also getting up, "I will go with you there are so many people I don't want you getting hurt." You thought it was strange that he would care but you couldn't think on it too much or you would stay deluding yourself into thinking he actually liked you. In his mind it was now or never. He had to confess to you before things for any further and his chances are ruined. He wasn't exactly thinking straight he just needed to get you somewhere he felt he could talk to you without so much distraction. He grabbed your arm and pulled you into the closest room he could find and that just so happened to be the wheelchair accessible port-a-potty. It was not his best option but it'd do for now. What he didn't expect was to feel you so close and he couldn't help himself. He kissed you deeply and passionately. It had you morning into his mouth.

He pulled away saying, "I am sorry I just couldn't wait anymore."

"Neither can I," you replied reaching to palm at his cock above his pants.

"God, you are just a desperate slut for my cock huh? Can't get enough that you're willing to let me fuck you right here and now," he said while turning you around so he could grind his bulge against your ass. None of this was part of the plan but you seemed to be enjoying yourself there for her just went with it loving the feeling of your body against his. Luckily for you both you decided to wear a sundress with no panties. You knew how much that drive him insane.

He lifted your dress bunching it together at your lower back. There you were bent over holding on to a guard rail in a port-a-potty with no panties and dripping wet just for San. That was it for him, the congestion could wait he needed to be balls deep in your beautiful pussy right now. He wasted no time using his pants and pulling both them and his underwear down to his mid thigh letting his cock spring free. He guided his tip to your entrance tubing his tip up and down your wet folds. Them, he started to push in.

"Fuuuuck you're always so right for me. I love fucking your pretty little pussy. That's it take it like my good little slut," he said. Officially lost in the high of pleasure he just said whatever he thought. He began to move faster slamming his hips into yours. One of his hands on the same guardrail you were holding on to the other covering your mouth muffling your sweet sons so you don't get caught. You were surprised you didn't get cause already though with the way the whole thing seemed to be shaking. Eventually he moved his other hand from the rail to snake around your body and start rubbing your clit. Your mouth was still covered but you still screamed that you were gonna cum and hopefully he'd know your were close. Which he did, he could feel it.

"You gonna cum for me little slut huh? You gonna cum all over my cock? That's it, cum for me go ahead," he encouraged. The feeling of his cock and his hand and then the words he spoke had you coming undone. He was not far behind and when he was just about to cum he pulled out of your letting it all drip onto the floor. When all was said and done and you were both satisfied and clean, at least as clean as you could get, he finally spoke the words he's been waiting ages to say.

"Y/N, I really like you and I have for a while and I'm not good with my words really but I want to ask you out on a real date. Honestly I've been wanting to do that for a long time. I want to make you mine for real."

You were too stunned to speak you thought it was a joke but he seemed so sincere. You decided to agree under some conditions.

"Okay," you began, " you can take me out on a real date. I really like your top but you should know that if I get any sense that you're playing me at all I'm done and this whole thing will be over. I won't let myself get heartbroken like that."

"You don't have to worry about that," he said, "I don't even plan on letting you go now." You two say back in your seats and enjoyed the rest of the concert. It was amazing and you couldn't wait to see where this will go.

A/N: Yes, this situation was a thing. No, I will not be doing that ever again. Highschool was a wild time and that is all I will say. Anyway once again don't have sex in a port-a-potty it is not great but it did give me the inspiration for this so at least it was good for one thing. Asks are still open and I am ready to get writing.

[kinardscake]

hi, sorry. i just wanted a place to rant and uh. this got away from me. feel free to ignore this! sending love to you and all my fellow bucktommies! <3

can i say this: "playing the field" is a bullshit argument. if you (general) had to experience Every Single Thing in life until you are "wise enough" to make choices and have commitments as a grown ass adult, none of these couples could be together. wdym athena didn't sleep with tons of women and trans people before choosing bobby? she cannot possibly know that she loves bobby, a person with a penis, because sHe HaSn'T pLaYeD tHe FiElD enough yet! because what if her "last" is actually not bobby? bobby could die tomorrow. it's not unlikely. athena doesn't know when he might die. bobby doesn't know when athena might die. they don't know if maybe some hurdle will break them someday. and still, we see them treat each other as "their lasts" and investing in their shared future. that is what humans do.

the fact of life is this: you have billions of human beings on this planet and thus plenty of options every day that you have to choose from. that also means that when you made that choice, your are aware that you forfeit the opportunity to get a different outcome. that goes for every single friendship, relationship, hookup, job offer, hobby, place to live, and so forth. realistically, none of us will ever have it all. that is not possible. buck is a firefighter and thus forfeits the opportunity to be a teacher or a zoologist. buck is living in his loft, thus forfeits the opportunity to buy a house. buck buys a couch, thus forfeits the opportunity to have a different one.

that is LIFE, baby.

if the 911 writers think that one must have lots of sex to know when one is in love, well! good news! buck did that already in season 1! buck went through multiple "updates" to learn what he wants. "love" is not suddenly a completely different and unknown concept to buck. he has loved before. he is loving people right now. he has lived through more things than any other person ever will in their lifetime. has experienced eye-opening trauma that clearly says that life is fucking short. and you tell me that after all this he just accepts that others tell him what he supposedly feels? nah fam. this is once again feeling like buck is just "going with the flow" because despite 7 seasons of development, he still seems to let others tell him what he thinks and feels and wants. i'm pretty sure he knows what he wants. buck told tommy that he thinks what he wants could be with tommy. he said it from the beginning. but then the show suddenly pulls a 180 and decided that, actually, buck is unwilling to put in any work.

bobby's first wife and mother of his children died, and nobody questions that his love for athena is real. eddie's wife and love of his life died, and everybody is still hoping he finds another great love after her. you can never know what happens in life, and none of that diminishes the fact that love is real and meaningful and worthy to fight for when you are feeling it! just like chimney went after maddie and pushed to support her despite maddie herself telling buck to not tell chim where she is (which buck respected and got punched for as a thanks). chim explicitly went against maddie's wishes because he knew this was a moment to fight for and support maddie.

just like the old tommy said: "you make it". and that's exactly it! buck has tons of options nd he could find "the one" in multiple people. until buck is dead, he will continue to have options. and it will be a continuous choice to stay in a committed relationship regardless of the other options that will always be there, no matter who he ends up with in the end. that is how life is. he could sleep with thousands of women and men and still be alone because sex with strangers is an investment into something "fun", yes, but not something that is a committed relationship. buck has learned that lesson in season 1. at some point in life, you either choose one person and put effort into that relationship, or you will never make any choice at all and thus never have any of "the ones" that you could have had.

buck can choose to invest his time in meaningless hookups. that is a valid choice to make. however, we know that buck was unhappy with that. why are they trying to reheat a 6-year-old moudly soup?

bucktommy is not even a "the one that got away" story for that reason. we know that both tommy and buck actually want commitment. they are literally on the same page. and instead of fucking committing, of intentionally choosing each other day after day after day, communicating about their insecurities and feelings and needs some more... they suddenly pull back completely? what the actual fuck is that logic? either you want to be in a committed in a relationship or not. make a choice. most people literally talk about that on the first date. making tommy pull back like that after 6 months is horrible, but making buck accept this without any pushback is frankly stupid. THAT would have been the moment to fucking fight for this relationship and point out that "yes, i could easily go fuck other people with different genitalia and guess what, i have been aware of that option existing this whole time but the point is that i INTENTIONALLY CHOOSE to be WITH YOU". but for some reason... nothing. poof. done.

and then i think back to red's story and how it affected buck tremendously... how red put his work first for decades and that he always regretted not investing more into his true love which he met when he was young... red did not choose the person he loved. he chose his job. he did not put in the effort to build a relationship, did not take any risk, and was thus had to live with the consequences of his own actions (living utterly alone after retiring because colleagues are not forever). and that is the thing: there will be what-ifs and consequences in all our lives. you can only be on one (1) path at a time. there will be chances missed. lives you maybe could have had. but this is not how real life works. so you either start making intentional choices and accepting the fact that all of life includes risk and potential heartbreak, or you will regret living as if you are paralyzed.

just. sorry. i didn't plan for my rant to be so long but i'm still so mad at this bullshit take that they gave to tommy of all people. i love tommy, he isn't at fault here. i love buck, he isn't at fault here. the writing in the last episode, however, is really making me fucking mad. it's so condescending and disrespectful to buck as a character but most importantly to bisexual/pansexual people. just because "there are more options" for bisexual people does not mean that the dilemma isn't the same for every human being. if you want love, you have to choose it. you have to work for it. you have to fight for it. you have to communicate what you want and need. you have to be a team with your partner to deal with hurdles together.

this has nothing to do with the size of the dating pool. it's about knowing what you want. all characters in a committed relationship, namely athena, bobby, chimney, maddie, hen, and karen, all have a big potential dating pool. they could all sleep around forever if they wanted. they could test every kink under the sun. however, they do not want to sleep around. it's as simple as that. and there is nothing wrong with you if you intentionally pass by certain opportunities. people know what they want. this is like men telling women that their life will never be "complete" if they don't have children of their own. like how fucking condescending is it to assume that you know what's best for another person when they are mature enough to form their own opinions?!

with how they have written buck for the past 7 seasons, it seemed like he wants commitment. this was established in the pilot episode. but if he just "accepts his fate" and sleep around now, no strings attached? well. okay. so what i am hearing is that either buck still does not know what he wants in life or that the past 7 seasons are a lie and actually his key to happiness is fucking strangers. either way, he has been stagnant for years in this endeavor.

buck and tommy could have easily fought for this to work. this was the perfect opportunity. but they didn't. and now i really think that they have truly lost the plot with buck's overarching storyline. very saddening.

You took the words right out of my mouth, Nonnie.

Sending you so much love as well, and, please, keep speaking your truth. 🫶

[spinningbuster98]

Since yesterday we talked about my *favorite* story: I think what really confuses me about the NFCV fans who defend Hector's writing by praising his final action, letting Lenore go, as the rightful conclusion of his character arc... is that it only works if you completely memory hole S3.

Hector is introduced as someone who burned his own parents alive after a childhood of abuse, bitter enough to believe humanity needed to be culled. From this perspective, him learning to forgive Lenore, or at least granting her mercy and dignity, could be a good character development. But Hector through the show was not written to be bitter, vengeful and violent: that was Isaac.

Or alternatively, Hector's biggest flaw is that he needs to be loved, so much that his favorite spell is reanimating dead animals so that they could love him unconditionally. He forces those creatures to him. He keeps this behavior by clinging to Dracula, then Carmilla (he could have ran away, he chose to stay with her after Dracula's death), then Lenore (after Carmilla's death and Isaac making him live, Lenore became his only certainty in life). From this perspective, him not forcing Lenore to live an existence she didn't want to live, but accepting her decision, could be poignant. But Hector never actively sought anyone: he was swayed and lured in. Besides, his pets stopped being relevant after S2.

Hector's arc was one of passivity. You can't miss it: even Isaac points out that Hector lacked agency. Hector spent his entire arc being thrown around left and right, lied to, beaten, humiliated, dehumanized, and he simply... existed. He has no objective, he barely has any negative emotions. Hector in S3 was a blow up doll, and we audience were meant to laugh at his stupidity while jerking off over the submissive and breedable peggable guy being called "good boy". S4 pretends he grew, with his working behind the scenes to resurrect Dracula, but it's not enough, for all the reasons we know. That's why him letting Lenore go feels like the last spit in the face for him: not only Hector is the only character in the season who is left with a bittersweet ending at best, but... he didn't do anything to affirm himself. He didn't choose to leave Lenore: Lenore chose to leave him, and he simply nodded to that. He didn't talk to her about their problematic relationship, now that nothing was between them. He didn't take the chance to recognize his own self-worth in the same way Isaac did. We don't know what he plans to do with Isaac, we don't know if he plans to leave the castle at some point. The pattern of him going "sure why not" at everything thrown at him was not shaken.

(I don't need to tell you that as someone who loves the original Hector's story precisely for the way he seizes agency for himself, this pisses me off something fierce. More idealistic? Maybe, but also encouraging.)

I'll be honest: Hector as a character is so empty that I feel his fans simply project themselves into him, especially victims of abuse who see the way he crawled back to Lenore and think that it was an intentionally nuanced representation of the way abuse twists your mind and priorities. And if his story resonates with you, I can't take it away from you, but I can assure you that the guy who spent a whole episode writing his puppy fetish for no reason other than fanservice does not give a single shit about the realism of abuse, let alone the things he was accused of.

And I wonder if the same can be applied to other aspects of the show, like Trephacard's friendship that straight up doesn't exist on screen, or Isaac's "development" which might resonate with people similar to him. Just a lot of projecting and filling in the holes, of which the show has plenty because it would rather waste its time with pointless filibustering and people being mean and crass to each other or piss jokes.

This is gonna sound very cynical but the main reason for the show's success is, essentially, that it's superficially deep and insightful.

Superficial presentation can go a very, very long way in hiding very egregious writing flaws, stuff like great fight scenes, emotional music and dialogues that sounds very cool, philosophical and deep can easily convince people that what they're watching is far more than it really is. These are cases where, if you don't pay attention to the finer details, you would really be led to believe that it's exactly what the show is presenting itself as

As another example: Sonic fans, even after all of these years, still like to parade Mephiles around as the best written villain in the series, even though his plan makes less than zero sense. This is because he looks cool (?), has cool powers, has a cool voice and the game consistently presents him as a mastermind...so folks fall for it, it's all about the vibes and how they emotionally impact the viewers, who in turn don't tackle the material with actual critical thought. Some seem to do so, given the plethora of in-depth analysis of characters like Isaac, but, and I know this is really offensive of me to say, I think they are still being influenced by the emotional impact of the way the story likes to present itself, preventing them from truly being 100% objective

People see Hector's pseudo philosophical speech to Lenore, they see her killing herself with the beautiful cinematography and music, and they mistake it for actual art, because it makes them forget or reinterpret the likes of S3. The reason why so many undermine or even justify Lenore's treatment of Hector in S3 is not, I believe, out of genuine rape apologism, but rather becaus people have a subconscious need to have everything neatly fit into their view of events

The ending of S4 looks so beautiful and deep and meaningful, but their relationship in S3 is in direct contradiction of that, so instead of recognizing that they twist the facts in their own head in order for all of it to make sense, because if you admit the existence of S3 as it truly was to yourself, then S4 and it's "beautiful" emotional impact falls apart like a ton of bricks

This is sounding very arrogant if not downright misanthropic I know, as I'm essentially saying that people don't know how to consume the media they like and that they don't even truly know what it is that they like. I feel a bit ashamed in saying this because it's the type of reasoning that would anger me usually, especially if directed at me, so in a way I guess I'm being hypocritical...but I truly don't see any other way to explain this phenomenon

Isaac is, of course, another good example: it's "easy" for most people to forget his hypocrisy because the show puts such a laser focus on his "development" and emotions and philosophy etc. It's like dangling keys in front of a toddler in order to distract them from some other thing

Something like Other M could have had the same effect, but the difference I feel is that Other M is far more egregious in its superficial dialogue: Samus sounds boring and stupid even at a surface level, she can't fool the audience, and Adam's character doesn't feature nowhere close as many "distractions" from his shitty behavior, especially since the authorization mechanic is pervasive throughout the whole game, so people immediately see what a douchebag he is and how self contradicting the story is about him.

[northwest-cryptid]

Jumping off the anon from earlier: I don't think anyone likes the new world set and I've seen plenty or people call out the devs for it so your def not alone there. Also I thought the Ala mhigan gown was African American patterns, since that is what they take inspo from?

Also as a certified zenos simp he calls even himself savage and while I sympathize with you having it used against you I dont think its as deep as you're making it out to be, zenos is a villain of course he's going to say rude shit to the wol

Anyway I dont go here and I don't doubt you'd block me for this if I wasn't on anon and I don't feel like being attacked for an opinion. So ✌️

A. The fact "no one likes the New World Set" isn't good either, the thing I dislike about it is the headdress specifically. As I said the actual outfit itself feels very "Party City Native" but it's the headdress that's actually offensive. Everything else about it is fine, at least more or less.

B. "He's bad so he's gonna do bad things it's not that big of a deal" I'm gonna say it again, SAVAGE IS A SLUR THAT HAS BEEN USED AGAINST MY PEOPLE FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS, DENIAL OF IT BEING A SLUR DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY LESS OF A SLUR. This is exactly what I'm talking about when I say people don't listen to Natives. I don't care if he's a bad person doing bad things you're REALLY missing the point, he's not real, someone at Square wrote that shit into the game thinking it's okay to use a slur and you are living proof that people do not care, congratulations you are part of the problem. Again people wouldn't be saying this shit "isn't that deep" if he used a different slur, you just don't think Native problems are worth worrying about unless they're cookie cutter shit like the New World Set which you still miss the point about.

C. You thinking the Ala Mhigan gown was African is exactly what I'm talking about, Natives aren't given any recognition when our culture is being stolen and profited from. I literally told you I'm Deer Clan Lakota and those very same patterns are on clothing passed down from my father's grandfather to him, and from him to me; patterns on clothes made by our people.

D. The entire ending of your message shows you don't know me but assume your opinion would upset me enough to block you rather than correct your misunderstandings, what do you take me for; some kind of savage? (See I can make that joke.) Ask yourself why you think I'd block you and ask yourself why you would be "attacked" for your opinion.

I genuinely do mean people like you when I say I wish people would listen to Native voices. A lot of people don't actually know squat about us, our culture, or our problems. Since you were so confident in making an assumption about me, allow me to do the same; you would not say these things about other minorities. Because you feel safe telling a Native that slurs that have been used against us aren't that deep, but you sure as hell wouldn't tell a Black person that the N word isn't a big deal, and before anyone says "well you can say one of them and not the other!" Yes I can, savage is our word, the N word is not. If I were Black it'd be the other way around for me.

People do not want to accept what we as Natives have to say unless we specifically say what you want to hear. This is specifically a big reason why most people don't know about our history, our culture, and our problems; it's not that we're not sharing them, it's not that we're not trying; it's that most people don't care enough about Natives and would rather get up in arms about FFXIV.

Do you realize how little I care about FFXIV?! There are Natives being raped, and murdered every day. The government has told us that if we cannot keep the blood of our people pure enough for them to consider us Native we won't be able to inherit our land and the American government will just take what little we have left because Native American people will no longer legally exist, our options are inbreeding or choosing to give up our very existence and we don't want to take either opinion.

And you want to argue with me about whether or not a slur is a slur because you're horny about a fictional video game character who says a slur.

I don't even have to say "people aren't listening to Natives when we try to tell you something is bad" because not only do people STILL think this is about FFXIV but people are willing to tell me it's "not as deep as you think it is" yeah alright cool thanks, let's not pay attention to the fact that it took until the 70s for Natives to be able to practice our culture and religion off the res, and even then where my father grew up, if a Native was off the res past 8 pm they would be violently beaten by cops. On my father's res the young men were taught how to survive in the white man's world of business while our young women were taught how to please the white men and not make them angry so they wouldn't be murdered or worse. Our culture was literally taught out of the youth because we are being forced to conform or die.

Let's ignore the decades of hate crimes committed upon my family alone, let's ignore every time I've heard the word savage while being beaten, mocked, and harassed. Classmates would try to hold me down and cut off my braid because they heard it would dishonor me. Classmates would grab me in the hallways and beat me, if I defended myself at all I'd put up with the parents of these kids screaming about how "this savage hurt my son" and when I'd explain I was just trying to get to class and was jumped by 3 kids with sharp objects even the principle would say I shouldn't have used force only to remark how he realizes "my people often don't handle conflict with words" so sure yeah, you can deny racism all you want.

Because it doesn't hurt you, and it's easier to look away and pretend this is all about some MMO than some actual real world problem that I was literally just saying the MMO exemplifies in its use of our culture and the use of a slur, and sure you can continue to defend it, to be mad about the wrong things because listening to Natives is hard.

But hey maybe it's just not as deep as I think it is, right? Perhaps all the racism and rape and murder and erasure of a whole people isn't that deep, because after all "savage" is just a word.

Look you're going to need to excuse me here, because yes I am upset; you have no idea what it's like to never be listened to when you try to explain racism and the problems your people are facing. Only for it to get some traction and then every inbox message I get completely misses the point, okay fair I'll explain things, no one has been offensively misguided until now; but to get this in my inbox first thing in the morning is like waking up to someone saying "no one cares about Native shit, shut up it's not that deep" and then ending it with the most passive aggressive "you're just gonna block me anyways and I don't want to be attacked for my opinion so ✌️" that tells me your not listening, you don't care to listen, you didn't want to learn you just want me to shut up.

This whole answer isn't for the Anon who sent me this message. This answer is for you, the individual who's actually taking the time to read it, because I do appreciate that you're actually reading what I have to say, even if it's easier to say it's not that deep; even if it's easier to look the other way and pretend we don't exist. I say these things in hopes my message reaches you and that you are aware of the kind of shit we deal with. I want for a world where the needs, concerns, and racism against my people receive the same coverage and care that other minorities get. We're being ignored, we're being intentionally forgotten, swept under the rug by anons like this who can't accept that our problems are real.

Do not be that person. Be better.

[utilitycaster]

your takes are usually so interesting so i wanted to ask what similarities/differences you see between loveletters and imodna and how developed they've become

bc i can't help but feel like fcg/frida is a little bit like what some fans wish (and honestly a few insist) imogen/laudna are

some that i can think of include the stable (albeit rushed) closeness, the intimacy that's conveyed through magical means (e.g., spiritual guardians that look like frida) and the willingness to learn more about the other (even when it may disrupt the relationship)

Covered to an extent here, specifically in relation to what people claimed Imogen and Laudna's conversation in 3x49 was vs. how FCG and FRIDA's pre-first-kiss conversation went.

The thing about FCG and FRIDA is that this absolutely is a ridiculously rushed relationship...but it also makes sense. They're both the first aeormatons the other has met! They're going to feel a particularly intense connection on that basis alone - I don't know if the relationship really has staying power, but it feels quite reasonable that they'd dive into something very deep and intense very quickly. As for the other things you mention, I think those are valid elements but the magical indications of intimacy is pretty universal in relationships with at least one spellcaster in D&D; and the willingness to learn more about each other is because, well, they haven't known each other long. I think that last bit is also important because they both have other people playing major roles in their lives. If the relationship doesn't end well, FRIDA still has Deanna's friendship and Jaquoby; FCG still has Bells Hells.

There are plenty of things I take issue with re: the fanon of Imogen and Laudna, but I think the biggest one is that it tends to pose an "us against the world" codependence, even when canon outright contradicts it (I remember it being popular fanon very early on that Laudna didn't want anyone to touch her but Imogen even though Laudna repeatedly happily let Dorian carry her when he'd fly over obstacles) and the thing is, I believe the only path forward for them actually being able to begin a relationship with each other is them first developing stronger connections with the rest of the party. Their unwillingness to resolve conflicts because it would mean not having each other is also, I believe, why they can't take the step from friends into romantic partners. Choosing to become romantically involved is a massive risk in which they could lose each other in the process, and they'd rather not take it.

Getting back to my first point, I also think there is an artificial attempt at drawing similarities between Imogen and Laudna to force something like FCG and FRIDA's connection. The problem is that while they have things in common, it's not as obvious nor unique as FCG and FRIDA: Imogen's power set is much closer to that of FCG, and her typical discomfort due to a chronic condition is something Ashton can better relate to, and her parental issues are also closer to those of Ashton or Fearne, and Fearne is also Ruidusborn. Laudna and Ashton have extensively discussed their own similarities - physical alteration due to trauma, loneliness, complicated relationships with evil women from their pasts - and Laudna's hobbies give her a lot in common with Chetney, she goes to Fearne when she wants to explore her magic, and she has similar experiences to Orym in being a commoner whose life was tragically altered as collateral damage to people going after those in power. So they're stuck in this position in which they see each other as each other's bulwark against loneliness while finding a lot more to talk about with the rest of the party. That "tether" feels like an elastic band that snaps them back when they go too far from each other, which means they're held back from the growth and change that would be necessary for them to actually start a relationship. FCG has no such limitation. (I think this is one of many reasons why some shippers have developed such intense and bitter resentment for FCG over this arc, which I've discussed already as well.)

Anyway this is all to say I think that separating Imogen and Laudna and forcing them into more independence is, ultimately, good for them and for the future of the ship. I don't think they will ever be able to become romantically involved unless they have stronger networks outside each other and feel comfortable enough to question each other; FCG and FRIDA, though they rushed into a relationship extremely quickly, have those networks and do have a connection that truly can't be found elsewhere in the party.

[lumi-klovstad-games]

On Shadowheart's faith and how it mirrors my own (some heavy topical talk of religion and faith, FYI)

I've seen Shadowheart get dragged for her faith and her cagey-ness and unwillingness to talk about herself and especially her religion, and on the one hand, YES, she does worship a deity who wants to dissolve creation back into primordial darkness out of a petty and childish grudge. Like, that isn't nothing.

But when I hear Shadowheart talk about what her faith means to her, what this goddess who everyone else calls evil (and from our outside perspective, rightly so) means to her... to be honest, I hear my own spiritual journey in her words.

I was raised a Christian and now primarily worship Lilith, one of many names Christianity considers a straight up demon. But... because my family and community doesn't share that faith, I have to live in their world. So I've gotten practiced at keeping quiet about this fundamental part of myself, at playing the game with my cards close to the chest. When the topic of my faith comes up, I do my best to deflect the conversation or give a diplomatically worded non-answer, and yeah, I do get flustered and irritated when pressed if I didn't choose to reveal these details on my own. After all, one's faith is a DEEPLY personal thing, a core function of who they are that in many ways defines them.

While I have the wonder and the pleasure to know plenty of folks for whom my faith means exactly nothing, or is at most an unorthodox point of curiosity and vague interest, that's not how things started. The first few years after I found my own faith were.... rough. I wasn't sure who I could trust with that part of me, who I could trust to not ridicule me or accuse me of doing it for attention. I can only imagine what it would be like for Shadowheart to live life as part of a cult that is actively suppressed and hunted, where, in fact, "they" ARE in fact out to get her.

My divorce from my parent's god came when I was disillusioned as a teenager. The incredibly likable and charismatic pastor who had overseen my Confirmation had moved on to a new church, and I realized that when I prayed, there really wasn't... anything there. Nobody on the other end, or at least nobody interested enough to listen. I don't think Pastor Dan was a bad guy or a charlatan or anything. I think he really had meant to help. But in his effort to make his faith accessible/relevant, etc., he'd oversold it, and without his likability to reinforce things, I found myself in a reality that was significantly darker and less caring than I was led to expect, and I was left feeling that kind of alone you can only feel in a room full of people who don't even acknowledge you. I can't speak to whether the Christian God is real or not, only that it never once spoke to me in all my years of praying to it.

And while Shadowheart isn't remembering fully or accurately, and she has been manipulated by the Cult of Shar far more than she's initially ready to accept, that doesn't mean how she feels is incorrect. We are the sum of what we can remember, after all. Our feelings and opinions in large part are determined by what we have experienced and can recall. When she talks about what Shar specifically means to her, and how through Shar she found meaning in her moments of greatest darkness and pain, I get that. Like, that's literally where my faith was found: when I was at my lowest point, in a period of incredible darkness, self-harm and nearly worse. And in that moment of darkness, I had an experience: "I am not the one you prayed to, but I will help you, if you let me."

To say that was a transformative moment isn't doing it justice. It's the kind of moment that changes a life.

And that's what happened to Shadowheart, at least by her recollection, her truth. The objective truth in-game is of course more complicated and tells a much more dramatic story, but to be honest, Larian could have left it there and had Shadowheart's account be 100% correct and true and found some other way to use her faith to challenge her and it would have worked just as well, because Shadowheart's tale is a realistic one at its core: a lonely, suffering, desperate child finds a VERY unlikely savior. To boot, said savior is an incredibly dark being that others purely have cause to fear and mistrust, one not known for compassionate action. Of course Shadowheart plays it close to the chest. Of COURSE she assumes others won't trust her if they know more about her. All she's ever known of sharing her faith with outsiders has been fear, mistrust, and even persecution. Their experience with her goddess is so, SO incredibly different from hers, they literally cannot understand why she would find meaning in or be loyal to such a deity. I know what that's like because I've lived that, if to a far less extreme degree.

And it was SO NICE to have a character who made my lived experience feel seen — even if the writers DID pull the rug out from under me later, the fuckers.

[sakuraswordly]

Connect to this

Sonic, Punch and Gilgamesh are the same. Because they are Punch. Or as my research, Sonic, Punch and Gilgamesh are not actually alike....they're technically the same. I designed Punch a long time ago and even created her own personality, but when I compared it, I found that her personality and demeanour were the same, even her body language.(Announce9 #: design analysis part 1 and part 2) The year 2023's results were considered a success for Sonic, making me more certain that they are the same and that it was the right decision to choose Sonic. I'm very thankful to you for the hard work of the Sonic team. Because Sonic's work is considered very good, I revealed that in fact, I brought Sonic to study in the first place because I was studying Mesopotamia and was checking to see if Gilgamesh really had a personality similar to Sonic and Punch. Or this is a really coincidence?(Seems that way) As my research so far I chose Gilgamesh from Type-Moon because I really sure that he's similar to the real King Gilgamesh from Epic the most.(Also, I don't believe every story in the epic of Gilgamesh for someone who wants to know. I felt like this wasn't right if the real King Gilgamesh would do that. That doesn't make sense.) That's why I need to put history or even their owner not only because they don't know about this even other cultures but because I tried to find the truth in history world that garden Babylon or even King Gilgamesh or King Arthur real in this world? I felt like these two kings did connect somehow.

Sonic: As much as I try to look like I have things under my control, everyone still worries about me as always..........Hey Syaoran...

Syaoran: Hmm?

Sonic: Do you still remember when Bandit captured me and you jumped to protect me when I couldn't walk?

Syaoran: Yes, I do remember.

Sonic: I was different back then. My whole life I have liked to do things by myself. I don't like having anyone else busy, even Tails. And I knew I would be alone.

Syaoran: And that is why Shadow is always so violent towards you.

Sonic: I'm a selfish that don't like to listen to my friends. But in that room, when you rescued me and took the damage from me and even called like I was part of your friends. The story is even more shocking than that. Velvet gave me the title, "Sonic Crowe". You guys even treat me like I am a part of this family. At that time with fight Exeller, when you shout, you're not going to abandon someone you love, it just....shattered the wall that I'd built up around me.

Syaoran: I mean.....I can't let you die at that time, sorry.

Sonic: To be honest…because until that moment, I'd seen you as a means to an end. I thought of you as a way to be strong and to obtain Excalibur. But after that time when Bandit captured me and you jumped to protect me, one time became two and before I knew it, you'd call me your family. It didn't matter that we were different. You cared for me as you would any other people. Before then, I'd never even dreamed I could have my "real family" on my own.

Syaoran: Sonic...................*Smile*

Sonic: I didn't want any of my friends to die because of my power. But I also didn't want to live if it meant you would all die in my place.....But then I realized...I'd only think of myself the entire time. Amy was right all along...

Syaoran: I know you can walk your path alone and it must be hard sometimes. But I swear I'll be there with you. Until the very end. This time I'll never let you go, I'll always take your hand no matter whether we are gone or go on a new adventure.

Sonic: Thanks......no....thank you...it's such a strange feeling. I know that we've still got plenty of fighting up ahead. And it's for me and Punch.

Syaoran: You're worth fighting for. That's why I don't regret if this path is wrong.

Sonic: And as always, I believe in you, Syaoran.

----------------------------------------------

Punch: Danny...Homura....I'm not like the rest of you.

Danny; Of course you are! But No! You're not! I'm serious. Back when we first met. I think maybe then I did think we were different. But I now I know that isn't true! You and I are alike in more ways than you know. You made me think of this and made me to accept my ghost form too.

Homura: Everyone has their own pain that can be hard for other people to understand. I get that you must have a lot circling around the head of yours. And that's okay, I am not like you. But regardless of all that, I'm......we're here for you, Punch. You're not alone.

Punch: Homura I.......

Danny: That goes for me too. We all want to be there for you. If you lose your way and can't find your dad and mom, I will guide them to you.

Punch: Umm.....but the earth's so big to find you know.

Danny: But they still stay on Earth and never vanish right? Even though the earth's so big the earth still has a place to return to unlike the universe, right?

Homura: I agree with this one. I can think of this place as home now because of you, Punch. I mean....that's what friends are supposed to do, right? I learned a lot from Madoka.

Danny: I'll always be with you, Punch. Remember, even we're not here in front of your eyes. You're not alone.

----------------------------------------------

Gilgamesh: I need to protect Mesopotamian Civilization for the next generation to continue my work, which will happen immediately I must exist.

Peter: Gil....why are you care so much about this country?

Gilgamesh: Because....they're my treas---

Peter: Because Amy...hasn't it?

Gilgamesh: Heh. I can't hide from you can't I.

Peter: *Smile*

Gilgamesh: Amy did tell me once...palm tree is all the memories we've made around that tree. ........I took her advice even though she was a little corny. So yeah....that's why I call this place Uruk "home". This place...this country...this earth is the place where I made my first best friend and no one can replace him.

Peter: Really.....I don't know, but Amy, she sounds pretty great.

Gilgamesh: Of course....she really is.

Fate/Extra CCC SG 3: Home: Uruk “Ah, right. If I answer as a person, I suppose it would be my city, Uruk.”

Why do you need home?

It provides us with a sense of belonging, comfort, security, and stability. It is where we create memories with our loved ones, learn important life skills, and express our style. The importance of home in our lives cannot be overstated. It is an essential aspect of our well-being and a source of comfort and joy.

Sonic: But I'll never forget the most important places.

Chris: Really?!

Sonic: Yes, of course. You can always trust me from now on, Chris.

Princess Elise: Sonic, if you leave here to go on another adventure.....remember this place?

Sonic: Definitely.

Danny: Punch, if everything is over, will you still remember this place with everyone here?

Punch: Definitely, I'll never forget them.

Even Sonic did say this once, but home and friendship were different to them. From the beginning Sonic, Punch and Gilgamesh never had a place to call "home" or a place to return. They're like a star that doesn't need a "home" for them to shine....but...

They are okay to be alone….but because they learn so much about this "earth" place. They still need someone very special for them to travel together. And when Peter said "I know you can walk your path alone and it must be hard sometimes. When you need a reason to keep going I'll remind you. And if you want to be the star in the sky. I can be your earth". They need someone to guide them back to "home", the earth, the place where the memories can be shared together.

Gilgamesh: Still.....if that's true......then it's all the more reason I have to do this......but.....I can't tell them......there's no way I could.....I can't let them die because of me again.......Punch.....what am I supposed to do?

"Many times....I let them go even if that meant saving their freedom"

Syaoran, Peter, Danny and Homura: "But this time I won't let them be alone!"

What does took in my hand mean? phrase. If you take something or someone in hand, you take control or responsibility over them, especially in order to improve them.

Take my hand = reach out and clasp your hand with mine. Hold my hand = take my hand and continue to hold onto it.

"Home" is also the place to listen with your heart: Feel the emotions of the speaker. go through things that we observe and feel Including the intentions and desires behind those words. Even though he might not have said it directly. Why are hugs so important?: It builds trust and a sense of safety. This helps with open and honest communication. Because hugs, it helps in healing some negative feelings such as loneliness, isolation, and anger.

Sonic: But when you reached out to me and gently took my hand, I felt the warmth I'd never known before. That's the "love" I never thought I would discover by myself. You make me understand human emotion and this "love"......even I fall in love with Velvet....but still....

Syaoran: ...........you won't have to worry about that for much longer.

Sonic: You think so.......?

Syaoran: Sonic....I......

Sonic: No. You can tell me when we defeat Exeller. Okay?

Syaoran: *Soft Laugh*Yeah. Okay.

Sonic always lets their hand go even his friends every time he saves them but this time Sonic can't let his hand go from Syaoran because Syaoran will always take his hand and save him no matter where he goes. Syaoran knew where to find Sonic even though he didn't fast as much as Sonic. This is an unbreakable bond. Even Tails can guess where Sonic went but when danger comes Tails can't protect him fast like Syaoran. The same way for Danny and Punch as well, Danny knew where Punch went even when she got lost, and Danny knew where to find her even without ghost form. The same way for Peter and Enkidu with Gilgamesh, they love him. They know him. And they respect him. And that knowledge that he'll be okay works out, just like they knew it would. Watch the change in their expressions and body language as he stand back up and smiles at them.

Announce10

I study petroleum as hard as possible to find the truth of Mesopotamian even mechanics. I finally see my comic can save people that I can't reach them. That's why this year will focas on Syaoran, Peter, Punch and Gilgamesh more as promised. Hope that my Windows 8 will hang on or age much longer.

Did King Arthur fight the Vikings? The Viking raiding and settling of England took place between the 9th and 10th centuries. This predates the stories of King Arthur created by Geoffrey of Monmouth, which inspired most of what we now think of as Arthurian Legend. So the short answer is No. The Viking presence in England was finally ended in 1066 when an English army under King Harold defeated the last great Viking king, Harald Hardrada of Norway, at the Battle of Stamford Bridge, near York. The vikings were from Denmark and Norway(the swedes went east to Rusland) but before that the danes went to England together with the germans, they were known as the angles-saxons. They were from the Holstein area, which have been a part of the Denmark in a few periods of history.

But the Vikings didn’t come until the 700’s, and King Arthur lived in the 500’s. How could King Arthur fight the Vikings when they didn’t overlap? True but if King Arthur did live in 700’s or more than that and never had a fight with Vikings. This should be interesting as an alternative timeline. The same as I wrote about Marie Curie. Even if this is not Marie Curie you know but can connect to real life. Even though I made up a story that was not true, but remember this. I can bridge reality. I tried to study Leonardo da Vinci as well so he will appear someday in Tsubasa of Phantasia. (And will add meditation too)So my talent for drawing and story was similar to the Geological time scale.(Well I need this to study petroleum too so don't mind if my comic will be style idea like this)

Geologic time is, in effect, that segment of Earth history that is represented by and recorded in the planet's rock strata. The geologic time scale is the “calendar” for events in Earth history.

P.S. I can't let A.I. copy my art. Because if A.I. can, I would not be able to discover the truth in history and study geological time. You have to study the rock and its structure. Texture and structure are the techniques that I learned from petroleum and I used to find Sonic's true personality.

Don't be surprised why I have to practice drawing in detail because they or those in petroleum taught me that.

NASA also used the same study method as well.

[deputygonebye]

@hauntcdsouls asked: 🍳

Random Acts of Service Symbol Prompt || (Sender) makes breakfast for (Receiver) || Beth Greene

Shane smelled the eggs before the plate had even arrived. Fried and crispy around the edges, the yellow yolk still firm and unbroken, just the way that he liked best. It was a breakfast of champions, simple though it was. More than what others were welcomed to - cans of beans and whatever meats that could be hunted down - a reason to consider himself blessed in the grand scheme. What Beth had done was sweet. Was far kinder a gesture than what the rest of the Greene family had shown Shane in recent; Hershel and Maggie always staring at him, unfairly angry over what he had done and what he had yet to do. An unjust punishment that wasn't warranted, least so was thought by the former deputy, everything that was done was done for the good of the group, the family who lived in blissful ignorance on their little farm with their chickens and wildflowers. But still was he denounced as a problem. Shane and all of his woes, best left to the company of himself and his own mind, alone.

Little Beth, as was evident by the plate of eggs, the glass of orange juice that only filled half way, what could be spared from stock, didn't dwell on the worries of her kin, their opinions were of little influence to her own. She didn't despise Shane as Hershel and Maggie did. She didn't openly show her disdain. Rather, through hospitality that was all her own, her own choosing, her own making, she cooked him breakfast. An act that Shane would return in due time. No kindness ever gone unnoticed nor unappreciated. Jean had raised him well.

Sitting at the lawn table just near Dale's RV, Shane took his meal with thankful hands. Sat the plate down and began to feast, slurped the juice from his glass like a man who had been starved. Nothing would ever taste as good as Beth's homecooked breakfast eggs.

"Thank you, Beth." Shane said, lifting his gaze from his running yolk to her bright blues, fork prongs dripping. "This is a darn good breakfast. A real good breakfast. I appreciate you doin' this for me. I really do."

Shane mumbled, scooping up another buttery chunk and popping it into his mouth without hesitation, "I know what your family thinks of me, and I have plenty of thoughts about them myself, but I just want you to know that I do care about this place and the people on it. I wouldn't ever try to upset anyone, and I am sorry if I've ever upset you. I don't mean to. I just wanna keep everybody safe. Your dad doesn't think so, and I know he thinks I'm a fool, but it's the truth. I care about you all, Beth."

[chaoticpinetree]

Sooo huh MAG 200, am I right?

That will be a bunch because I just had a whole ass essay of thoughts that I also shared with my friend so now just time to do it here as well lmao

(by the way, fun fact, she was in denial for a long time, she was so certain that they were sticking to the plan, that Martin was there, that he was sneaking on Elias from behind or something, meanwhile Jon was there alone the whole time)

But yeah he went alone and :C And they could've done this whole shit without their maybe-deaths because in the end it doesn't matter, what Jon wanted to do didn't work so the fact that he went alone just made it worse for them and :C I mean it's like aghhhh That situation obviously had no good solution, Jon thought okay well let's sacrifice our world to make sure the Fears die with it, others were like no actually fuck other worlds, let's save ours

And it's hard to blame any of the sides really for wanting to do what they did, like, 'oh wow Jon would you really doom this whole world' vs 'oh wow others would you really doom all the other worlds' like pots kettles doesn't matter it's the apocalypse, countless people are gonna suffer and the only thing to decide is who And it might be selfish to want to pass the Fears on to another world but how could they be blamed? Their whole world ended what are they supposed to do? Accept that their whole world is gonna die?

And on the other hand Jon's behaviour, running off by himself to kill Magnus and become the pupil of the eye, if we think of it just in that one world then oh wow he's the worst person alive! He literally wants to kill all the other people in the world! But well we're talking about someone who became very familiar with everybody's suffering throughout their journey and someone who understood more than others what it would mean to unleash the Fears onto other worlds. The fact that he's more aware doesn't make his choice the better one, there are no good choices, but it does explain why he chose that.

Besides, when he asks others if the suffering of other people is better when they can't see them, that was... A fair question. Again, not one that makes either of the options better, but it was a fair question, because here's the thing. It is easier to make that decision when they will never see the other's suffering. Like, they know other worlds exist because Annabelle told them so, but they don't know how many, they don't know how these worlds look like, what the people who live there are like, nothing, they're just these hypothetical 'worlds' in their head and now that the Fears are not in their world anymore... Well, 'out of sight, out of mind' is a cruel way to do things, but that's the thing that it does work and they can keep on living, maybe worried, maybe feeling guilty, but ultimately still able to lie to themselves that oh well maybe the apocalypse will never happen in the other worlds; never having to confront the people that they have doomed, whose lives they've destroyed.

Because like, the Fears were hurting plenty of people even before the apocalypse. The only thing is that before the apocalypse the fears were sort of picking on the weakest or most curious/stupid, most... Unlucky, I suppose. But like, all of these statements we've heard, they're just a fraction of all the stories that must exist, people who never went to the Magnus Institute, and hell those people who survived and never gave a statement are still just a fraction of people who just died, who weren't lucky enough to get away from that with 'just trauma' and just, well, objectively speaking, by saving their own world, they did ensure that so many more people will die. It will take more time, but they will die. So there's that.

But like again, who in their right mind would look at their own world being just overtaken by suffering and choose not to fix that, I mean clearly Jon, but well

And you know, if I were there, in these tunnels, immune to the fears in a way they were, having to make that choice, I too would probably choose to save my own world. Because ultimately that's how we're built, humans, that is, aren't we? Besides, our brains are not built to comprehend big numbers and that's an important factor. People really cannot understand how big a difference between a million and a billion is. They see three more zeroes and go oh well just a bit more! No, a thousand times more. And we have eight billion people in the world. That's already a number we can barely understand. When more and more billions of people from thousands of other worlds come into that, we simply cannot comprehend that.

Like, human brains literally count certain numbers up as 'a lot' you know. And that's not without its impact right now! Because if you see the amount of suffering you will bring to other worlds as 'well a lot, just like we have right now', it's... Easier to make that decision.

So I guess that's it for the morality and philosophy part

I think there's something they could've done better in season 5, as much as I love the whole thing overall

Because season 5 had a lot of episodes that were in the fear domains, spent mostly on the statements, but I think if the plot happened a bit faster so that they'd reach London faster, then maybe it would've been... Idk, better? Because by the end there were a lot of revelations that the characters didn't really have the time to, well, deal with them? Like, hey, Jonah is there, one option is that Jon takes over. Hey huh other worlds exist. Hey Jon remember that spiderweb lighter you had? Yeah well Web was literally using it to manifest tape recorders around you. Hey guys we need to decide whether we'll killing our world or all the others. And, ye, a bunch of stuff that I feel it would be cool to force them... For example if the journey back from Hilltop Road was a bit longer, maybe, a few episodes that were at the beginning of s5 to put there instead.

And another thing is that this 'other realties' thing very much was foreshadowed, but out of 200 episodes, it was I think in 2? Well mostly one but also as far as I know, a little bit in another one as well. And it would be too obvious if they did too many statements on it, yes, of course, but if they did at left a few more hints lying around in other episodes, I feel like it would feel like it was coming towards this end the whole time

Granted, it still definitely felt like it was coming towards an unhappy end because happy would just feel, it just wouldn't feel, you know?

And I guess those two things are my only 'major' complaints and I wouldn't really necessarily call them major... I mean it depends how you see it. I just think that a little bit more hints and a slightly different pacing of s5 could've maybe worked better. Maybe. But it still worked damn well and just. Yeah damn. Shit. Well.

So, uh. Let's just hope they're Somewhere Else and get some therapy they definitely very much need :C

[allie-scstudyabroad]

'Twas the Night Before Study Abroad

Eeek! Tomorrow at 11:55 my first flight will be taking off. How crazy that it's finally time to go to Italy! It doesn't feel quite real yet, but I'm sure once I'm on that 8 hour flight I'll definitely feel it.

It is a bit scary knowing that I am going to be flying to Europe, an entire continent I have never been to. On top of that I literally do not know a single person in my program or really anyone in the country. Well I mean there's that one girl from 6th grade soccer in Florence, but I'm not sure if that really counts.

I have obviously been thinking about this experience a lot as it will literally become my life for the next four months. Since I am leaving in January as well, this semester is going to come with some resolutions. First off, I am excited to be back on a schedule and have some structure and things to do. It is hard for me to stay motivated and going when I am home for winter break, especially since this one was a bit longer than usual. Next, I had some rough patches with old friends last year and coming home I feel like I have grown apart from people who were past friends. Therefore, I really want to make some friends this semester and be open to meeting new people. I want to be authentic and make real bonds and memories with these people whom I will share a semester with like none other. I already know study abroad friends will be special because when else do you go live in Europe with a bunch of strangers! Third, I want to chose experiences. Study abroad is obviously an expensive time, but I hope to spend my money on great experiences and trying new things. Finally, I am going to work on loving myself and time with myself. I set up my class schedule so that I have no Monday classes and my Tuesdays start late (also no one has Fridays but that is university standards not me). I hope to use these free times to do things for myself that usually slip away when I am in America. I want to walk around the city every Monday morning and sit by myself sipping a latte and reading a book. I want to love those moments of being all alone that seem scary and like you're failing because you have no friends by realizing I am choosing this and enjoying my time and this is relaxing and not a reflection of if I have friends or not.

I have thought a lot about these personal goals that go beyond just my bucket list for sightseeing or budgeting. (trust me I have plenty of those though) Study abroad is a great time to experience life and really grow in ways that I will be able to take home as well.

So my suitcases are packed (mostly) and I have a travel day outfit picked out. These next four months are going to absolutely fly by. So while I am a bit scared and sad to leave, I am also hopeful and excited for what's to come. (I think positivity and being flexible will be key to this semester) Stay tuned for what's to come when I touch down in Rome on the 24th at 10am!!

[mysticstarlightduck]

🧶 - Do they do any arts, crafts, or creative hobbies?

🐺 - How does this oc deal with solitude?

🚷 - Tell one difference between yourself and this oc!

- for OC(s) of your choice!

Thank you for the ask, @diabolical-blue! Gonna go with Jack Tithus, Renn Atrius, Augustus Grimmure, and Lyorna Quarr!

🧶 - Do they do any arts, crafts, or creative hobbies?

Jack Tithus - He is terrible at drawing, and never really had time to practice, however, in his spare time sometimes Jack does scrapbooking and he also knows how to play the electric guitar, though he hasn't played music in a while.

Renn Atrius - Renn loves making art, especially drawing. He has a travel sketchbook and pencil case he takes with him at all times. His all-time favorite things to draw are flowers, studies of mythical beings and portraits of his friends.

Augustus Grimmure - Augustus considers necromancy and forbidden magic as an art, and dedicates his time to perfecting it to help others. He also knows how to play the piano quite well.

Lyorna Quarr - Lyorna makes sculptures out of recycled materials for fun - her sculptures look like tiny action figures and cute collectibles. She also makes DIY jewelry.

🐺 - How does this OC deal with solitude?

Jack Tithus - Um. Not well, to say the least. Jack is the type of extrovert who needs to be around people, talking and having fun, to feel at peace and recharge. He also devotes a lot of his life to others and only feels "useful" when he's helping someone. Being alone for too long just makes him anxious and quite depressive, as he starts being alone with his thoughts with nothing to distract him from the sadness or pain he may feel deep down.

Renn Atrius - He doesn't mind. He's been alone for way too long most likely and has had to become used to it in order not to spiral into panic. That doesn't mean he likes it. While he is an introvert, he considers the company of people he trusts comforting, even if they're just spending some time together in silence, that's enough for him to feel at home.

Augustus Grimmure - He embraces solitude. When he is alone he can think clearer, he can study his inventions properly and come up with new spells for his necromancy tome. He can learn his magic without being judged by others, something he has grown to fear due to past experiences. Usually, he does not like the company of too many people or being in crowded places - if company is required he prefers that of those he cares about and loves. He adores his friends, especially Harriet, his love.

Lyorna Talli - She doesn't mind it but doesn't like it. As long as she isn't bored or trapped, she has enough energy to keep herself entertained and be happy with it. But she loves to be around others who match her energy levels - and with whom she can ramble on and on about her special interests without being considered annoying.

🚷 - Tell one difference between yourself and this oc!

Jack Tithus - His personality is quite similar to mine in some aspects: he is extroverted, likes smoothies, is protective of his friends, tries to be polite whenever he can but is also sarcastic. He is Asexual, I am Asexual. I think the main differences between us are: 1. he is a guy, I'm a girl, 2. he's an older brother, I'm a younger sister, 3. he lives in a futuristic space dystopia, I live in modern-day Brazil.

Renn Atrius - We share a few personality traits, namely a love for reading and drawing, a dislike of oppressive systems, a wish for adventure, we both adore animals, etc. But the main differences between us are: 1. he is a half vampire/dhampir I am a human, 2. he is a guy, I'm a girl, 3. he lives in a dark fantasy medieval setting and I live in modern-day Brazil, 4. he is an introvert

Augustus Grimmure - The only similarities we share is a strange sense of humor, the love for reading, knowing how to play the piano and wanting to make the world a better place for all. There are plenty of differences between us though, too many too count. If I had to choose a few, they would be: 1. he has no qualms about killing and is a cold-blooded necromancer, I couldn't hurt a fly and am terrified of death, 2. he knows magic, I don't lmao, 3. he is a guy, I'm a girl, 4. once more, different settings where we live in, etc

Lyorna Quarr - We're pretty similar when it comes to personality! She's bubbly, I'm bubbly, she likes to make her friends happy, so do I, she has anxiety - SO DO I lmao. She also would collect cats if she could and I adore cats IRL. Differences would be: 1. She is an alien, I am a human, 2. She knows how to fly a spaceship and how to fix a robot, meanwhile I take eons to grasp some technology, 3. Once more, we live in very different places, 4. she has horns, I do not.

[signalwatch]

X - 2022

Watched:  10/27/2023

Format:  Paramount+

Viewing:  First

Director:  Ti West

A xerox of a xerox of movies you've seen before, the greatest sin of X, the 2022 horror smash, is that it's fundamentally boring.  

Look, I don't make the movies, I just watch them, and when you're drawing obvious comparisons to your own movie, in the movie, and you choose to draw the audience's attention to Psycho (which I happened to have just watched), you're soft-breaking the cardinal movie rule of not showing a better movie during your own movie.  But, yes, the movie is a slow build for literally the first hour of people making a porn film in a rustic cabin on some farmer's property in the middle of East Texas nowhere, with some light hints that something is up with the elderly owners of the farm/ ranch-land where the filming is taking place.

The problem with this, imho, is that Writer/ Director Ti West is under the impression that by borrowing Psycho's slow build and pivot, which he calls out, he's doing the same thing.  But we're 62 years on, we've all seen a lot of movies, and at this point I was looking at my watch instead of the movie when we don't get our first kill til 58 minutes into a 105 minute film.  I don't know how to tell Ti West - my man, Hitch did this 30 years into perfecting tension in movies.  This ain't that.

The actors are good enough, with only one of them doing anything resembling a Texas accent, and the rest doing movie-southern.  I won't get into the nuance of Houston accents, because that's tedious, but I will point out the suggestion is that they're in Houston at the start, but Ti West means Pasadena, where they filmed Urban Cowboy around the same time.  

Weirdly, the movie is filmed in New Zealand, doubling for East Texas, and it's a surprisingly good match, if you've driven through that region.  Flat with patches of tall trees and plenty cleared for farming and ranching.  What I can't buy is that a building built in the 1920's, let alone during the Civil War, would still be standing without major restoration effort, given the weather and mold of Texas anywhere within 3 hours of the Gulf.  

The pitch of the movie is essentially "old people are scary, and more so if it's clearly low-budget old-age makeup".  What drives the elderly woman, Pearl, to murder, is that she's horny, and unable to sate her endless desire as she once did with her husband, and, we assume, many other lovers.  I'm unsure if we're supposed to find old people having sexual desire frightening - I personally don't, and am perfectly aware old folk's homes can basically have the the same amount of hanky panky happening behind closed doors as freshmen dorms. 

Why lust turns to homicide, I can't say.  And the movie doesn't care to make it clear.  But we're told that seeing Maxine, played by new indie film darling Mia Goth as both Maxine and Pearl (under makeup) and catching bits of the filming, her desires are stoked, and when she's rebuffed, she gets stabby.

It's an interesting decision.  The way Pearl is played is as a frail old woman, and its kind of tough to buy she or her husband can do much but shuffle around the house hoping not to break a hip.  There's no magic or anything, just a misdirected libido and a too-understanding husband.  

But, yeah, you'll watch the movie and say "huh, that's Boogie Nights.  That's Lake Placid.  That's Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  That's Psycho." and so on and so forth.   In it's way, it's just another "ooooOOOoooOOoooo people who live in non-urban places are creeeeeepy" movie.  But the cast is small, they're all written to be morons.  It takes *forever* to get from death to death as the movie *finally* gets around to being a horror film.  But none of its that interesting (I did have a laugh at the reference to the actual farmer's daughter joke reference in the movie, even if it made literally no sense).  

I think maybe West is trying to say something about sex, but it's kind of like - nothing particularly interesting.  So.  

Anyway.. it's fine.  If all you're looking for is a movie where people get murdered, this is that.  I won't watch it again, but go nuts on your fandom here.  I found the pacing absolutely deadly, and the attempts to repackage better films kind of ill-conceived.  

Oh, yeah, this also has Jenna Ortega, who is having her breakout year, and she's pretty good!  As is the entire cast, I guess.  

[casspurrjoybell-25]

November - Chapter 4

*Warning Adult Content*

- Oliver -

"You ready to go?" Oliver asks, sticking his head around the corner from the bathroom.

The young man frowns when he sees Brad at the hotel room desk with his laptop out.

"Babe, I'm sorry but something came up at work and I need to handle it."

"But you're on vacation. Isn't there someone else that’s supposed to be handling it, while your away?"

Brad just waves Oliver away, dismissively.

"Just go without me. I don't want you to miss out."

"It's a waterfall hike and it's not long at all. Can't we just do this first and then you can spend a couple of hours working?"

Brad looks up and gives Oliver that cold stare, the one that means he is starting to get fed up with him and his disturbance.

"It's time sensitive. And we have plenty of other days to hike together."

"But Brad, this is really important to me," Oliver pleas.

"It's about spending time together. I want this trip to be just about us. No work, no friends or other people. Exploring new places together, great food, maybe even greater sex, you know just us being together."

"We spend plenty of alone time together."

"No, we don't, Brad. You're always working or you want to go out with your friends or you've got some Special event to go to."

"My career is important to me. My friends are important to me. So are my hobbies and the way I choose to relax when I'm not working."

"Am I important to you?"

"Oliver, I don't have time for your dramatics," Brad says, his voice stern and growing louder with each word.

"I'm tired of having this same argument, over and over again. I'm on a trip with you for two weeks. I'm sacrificing all of those other things, in order to be with you, how can you think that you are not important to me."

Oliver can feel himself shutting down.

He hated when Brad raised his voice and got angry with him.

Oliver hated when his boyfriend made him feel like he was the one who was wrong and like Brad was making a huge sacrifice to spend time with him.

‘Like spending time with me was a chore, just another box he had to check on his to-do list. Just something else he had to fit into his schedule.’

"Okay, I'll see you later, then," Olive says, grabbing his backpack and walking out of their hotel room.

Oliver didn't wait for a reply.

He could go on the hike by myself but he wasn't familiar with the area or with hiking, since he hadn't done a lot of it in California.

And the young man wanted someone by his side to experience it with him.

Frustrated, he stood by the rental car and pulls up the aerial map of the ares so he can get directions to the trail head.

It was then that he remembered Cooper, his adjacent seating partner from the plane.

He did say he live around here and he'd been so friendly to Oliver on the flight.

Oliver knew that they had talked about him reaching out if he needed information but still would it be weird if he actually did?

Deciding that he didn't have any other options, Oliver figured it was at least worth a shot.

Hey, it's Oliver from the plane flight. I planned on Mary-mere Falls today but Brad can't come with me. Are you interested?

Oliver sends the text and then immediately second guesses his decision. Cooper could be working.

Or be with his family.

Or be doing anything else.

Oliver probably wouldn't even get a response for hours.

Even worse, they'd only talked about him reaching out for recommendations.

Asking Cooper to hike with him was a lot more than that.

‘Would he even remember me? Would he want to meet up with a stranger?’

Oliver sighed and leant against the car, preparing to wait a few more minutes before he gave up and take a walk around the harbor instead.

He hoped that somehow this day would get better.

 - Cooper -

Cooper’s cell-phone vibrates on his coffee table.

When he picks it up to look at the caller ID he doesn't recognize the number but he then sees the name 'Oliver' within the text.

Hey, it's Oliver from the plane flight. I planned on Mary-mere Falls today but Brad can't come with me. Are you interested?

He smiles but then that smile fades as he reads his message.

His douchebag of a boyfriend had already ditched him.

It doesn't take Cooper long  to respond to Oliver’s text message with his own.

Okay.

You sure? Hope I'm not bothering you. I can go anytime today.

Not bothering me. A hike sounds great. Meet you there in an hour?

See you then and thank you.

Cooper gets up and grabs one of his hiking backpacks.

It was half packed already and all he had to do was throw in enough water, some food and anything else the thought, he might need.

It would be nice to see Oliver again and to get outside for a hike.

It was turning out to be a beautiful day, with more blue sky than clouds.

As Cooper pulls into the gravel parking lot he slows down and drives slowly.

He doesn't know what kind of rental car Oliver has.

Worst case, he'd wait for the younger man on the sidewalk near the bathrooms.

Cooper parks my pick-up truck and gets his back-pack out from the back seat and then he spots a brunette guy getting out of a car a few spots away.

Oliver is so much cuter than he remembers.

His medium brown hair was perfectly styled and his chestnut colored eyes were large, soft and warm.

They were eyes Cooper knew he could get lost in and then he reminds himself that Oliver has a boyfriend and he is only visiting for a short time.

The cute young man was off limits in more ways than one.

When Oliver sees Cooper and smiled, the dimple appeared in his left cheek.

‘Even if he wasn't off limits, he was way too cute for me. I imagined he'd go for a guy who looked like a Ken doll, rather than a bearded, tattooed guy who looked like a lumberjack.’

Cooper forces himself to stop thinking of Oliver as a potential boyfriend and walks over to the young man.

"I'm glad you texted. I was just hanging around the house today, so I'm happy to get out and do something."

"Oh, good," Oliver says. "I was worried if I was bothering you or that maybe you were working, today. I didn't want you to feel obligated to come out with me."

"I'm not working yet and I won't have another fishing job for months. Usually I help out at my dad's logging business in the meantime but I wanted to take a week off, sort of as my own vacation."

"Well, thanks for doing this. Brad had something come up with his work and said he couldn't go. I could have gone by myself but I'm kind of a beginner when it comes to hiking."

"You would have been fine. It's an easy trail and it's only two miles but I understand wanting to go with someone. I can be your personal tour guide."

Oliver smiles at him.

"That sounds great."

They start down the path, going by the shore of Lake Crescent before walking through a small tunnel under the road to gets to the forest on the other side.

Cooper talks about the lake as Oliver stopped to take a few pictures.

He seemed interested in hearing about Olympic National Park and the climate around here.

"It's so different from California," Oliver says, looking around at the trees and moss.

"It's all so beautiful."

"The rainforests on the peninsula get over one hundred inches of rain each year. You're going to see a ton of moss."

"It makes everything look so green."

Oliver stops in front of the tree on the other side of the road.

"Woah, this tree’s branches are covered in moss. And there are ferns growing right on the tree."

Cooper couldn't help but smile at Oliver’s cute reactions.

The older man loved to show people the beauty of Washington.

He knew he was lucky to live here and he wanted to share it with as many people as he could.

Oliver marveled at the giant, old-growth trees in the forest.

Some trees still had yellow leaves hanging on, so there was a bit of autumn in the scenery among all the green.

Cooper noticed a few rays of sun filtering through some nearby trees and he drew Oliver's attention to it.

"Wow, that's gorgeous," he murmured, as he took a few pictures with his cell-phone’s camera.

Cooper wanted to talk with Oliver but he let the young man enjoy the nature around them instead.

It was the reason Cooper was visiting Washington.

He led Oliver across the bridge over the creek and then they took the steps up to the viewpoint for the waterfall.

Marymere Falls wasn't huge.

It had an almost delicate, fairy tale-like presentation.

The water came down in a long, thin cascade and then gently fanned out as it hit the rock beneath it.

Bright green moss clung to the rock, framing the waterfall.

"This is incredible," Oliver breathed, transfixed by the scene before him.

Cooper leant on the railing next to him, watching Oliver more than he watched the waterfall.

The young man had a lightness to him, a cheerful and kind temperament that made Cooper want to be near him.

He yearned for a man in his life.

He wanted someone to come home to, whether that was after a long fishing trip or after a hard day of logging work.

Cooper wanted a man he could hike with or sit on a beach with as they watched the sun set.

But Oliver can't be that guy, Cooper reminds himself.

Yes, he met a cute guy but he can only be a friend.

He has a boyfriend.

He's only visiting.

Cooper would have to be careful.

He couldn't let himself feel anything for him.

Besides, Cooper probably won't see Oliver again after today.

This was a one-off hang out and it only happened because his boyfriend couldn't be here.

Oliver turned to Cooper and smiled.

"You actually grew up here?"

The older man nods.

"Born and raised right on the peninsula."

"I'm jealous. What a magical place to grow up."

"Magical is a perfect way to describe it," Cooper agrees, hold out his right hand.

"Let me get a picture of you in front of the falls. I'm sure Brad will appreciate seeing you with them."

"Yeah, that'd be great,"Oliver says, handing Cooper his cell-phone.

The older man takes a few pictures of Oliver from different angles and when he gives him back his phone, the younger man asks if Cooper wanted a picture.

"I've been here quite a few times, so I don't need one of myself but let's get one together. It's not the first time I've played tour guide and it'll be a nice memory for me."

Leaning in close to him, Cooper makes sure to bend his knees so they looked like they were the same height and was amused by the contrast between their appearances.

"You're much prettier than me," Cooper jokes.

Oliver snorts and Cooper gets a picture of him laughing, his eyes shut and his smile wide across his face.

"I like having a funny picture for every normal one I take," Cooper tells him, letting him see the photos.

"I like your beard," Oliver says, still smiling enough that his dimple shows.

"Thanks. It keeps my face warm when I'm out at sea. Here too, since the mornings can get pretty cold."

"I can only grow a struggle beard," Oliver continues.

"The goatee part looks okay but my cheeks are patchy. I'm kind of jealous of your full beard."

"You look great without a beard. Why cover up that face when you can show it off?"

Oliver blushes a bit and Cooper knew he needed to pull it back a bit.

He was being sincere but he was also crossing the line into flirting.

He didn't want to give the young man the wrong idea or make him think he didn't respect his relationship with Brad.

"Thanks," Oliver says and then quickly changes the subject.

"I'm not really ready to go back yet. It's such a nice day. Is there a trail around the lake?"

"In some areas but if you want to keep hiking we can go to Mount Storm King. It shares a trail with the falls and we'll pass the turn-off for it on the way back."

"Mount Storm King? That's quite a name."

Cooper laughs.

"It's not as intimidating as it sounds. It's about five miles, if you're up for it?"

"Sure, let's do it."

Cooper smiles as they leave the falls and head out to their next trail.

The older man was happy to have more time with Oliver and to make his trip to Washington even better.