#like people don’t understand why self control isn’t enough

[alicecanthang]

Last night my bf pissed me off so I had to explain to him the thought process and rationality that goes through your head when you have an eating disorder and he was like “that’s not healthy” and I was like no shit???????

[slayfics]

Katsuki picks you up after a fight with your boyfriend.

700 words

The hum of the engine filled the silent car, the sound of the road was like an angry beast under the tiers.

“I don’t need any more negative energy you know,” you stated to Katsuki.

His knuckles were white from death gripping the steering wheel. He knew you were going through a lot, but that did little to put out the overwhelming rage inside him.

Katsuki sucked in air through his teeth. “It’s taking everything in me not to blow that fucker up. You understand that right?”

“I know, that’s why I didn’t want to call you. But I didn’t know what else to do. My phone was going to die, and you were the closest one around,” you explained.

You had called Katsuki early in the morning, after a heated fight with your now ex-boyfriend. Too many drinks led you both into an argument that you couldn’t even remember. Your only memory was waking up in an empty hotel room with no way to get home. Phone on its last legs, with no charger in sight being that your boyfriend had packed it before he left.

“What the hell you two even fight about?!” Katsuki asked, pinching the bridge of his nose before running his hand down his face.

“I told you I don’t remember,” you answered.

“How fucking much did you drink?!” he questioned, his anger filling the aura of the car.

“Too much,” you responded honestly.

“So, you’re telling me you were black-out drunk when that fucker left you alone?!” He barked.

“I was in a hotel room not on the street,” you tried to rationalize.

“I DON’T GIVE A DAMN! HE DIDN’T TAKE CARE OF YOU!” Katsuki yelled.

“I’m the one that drank that much, I’m responsible for my alcohol consumption. And I’m not a child that needs to be taken care of. Besides, I’m sure I said some nasty things to him while I was drunk.” You spoke.

Katsuki scoffed; it took every ounce of self-control to keep himself contained. “So?! You said some mean words to him? Boo-fucking-hoo. Is he such a pussy that he can’t take a few words?! I don’t give a fuck how mad you made him. HE. LEFT. YOU.”

“You’re being unreasonable. This is why he never liked you,” you stated matter-of-factly.

“Oh, he’s going to like me even fucking less the next time he sees me,” Katsuki spat with an almost sinister chuckle.

“Kats stop.” You pleaded.

“No! You stop defending him! This isn’t fucking ok! And I’ll fucking kill you if you forgive him and take him back! You understand that right?! YOU called me! YOU got me involved. So now this is how things are going to go. You’re going to get your shit, then you’re gonna get your ass back in this car, and you’re never going to see him again,” he concluded.

“What?! No take me home! I don’t want to see him yet!” You argued.

“Fuck no. If I do that, he’ll give you some sob story when you two are alone and you’ll take his sorry ass back. You’re ending this NOW.” Katsuki said authoritatively.

“It’s going to make more problems if you show up dropping me off!” You exclaimed.

“Good. Let that asshole see that when he leaves you alone other men are willing to step up. It’s his funeral if he’s got something to say to me,” Katsuki spoke, words laced with venom.

You breathed in trying to find words to break through to Katsuki, when you noticed your ex’s place coming into view. “Wait, I didn’t tell you where he lived. How did you know where to go?!” You questioned.

“Oh, don’t give me that shit. I’m a top pro hero, of course, I watch out for the people I give a crap about. You told me enough shitty stuff about him already… I knew it was only a matter of time before I got a call to come to rescue you,” Katsuki explained pulling up into the driveway. “Now go get your shit. You have 10 minutes before I come blasting in to check if you’re ok.”

“Wow. My hero,” you said sarcastically rolling your eyes before getting out of the car and slamming the door behind you.

“Always,” he smirked.

sinners: @queenpiranhadon @unofficialsapphire @maddietries @fiannee @i-heart-carlisle @derangedmango @matchat3a @bakugouswaif @reneinii @peachsukii @pastelbakugou @abadbitchblogs @b134ch-m4h-ey3z @pinkpurpledreams @that-one-fangirl69 @dreamcastgirl99 @jays-adventure3 @bythevay

[asterafroditis]

𐔌 . ⋮ not enough for you .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

☓┆Idia Shroud x gn! reader

𓏵 857 words

ᝰ.ᐟ 3rd person POV, no pronouns used, established relationship with reader, angst, hurt/comfort

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ᝰ.ᐟ masterlist

Idia didn’t feel like he was worth your time—your love, your affection—any of it. He was just some pathetic, introverted otaku, a guy who barely scraped by in real-life interactions and spent more time talking to NPCs than actual people. Why would someone like you, someone with so much potential, choose to get close to someone like him?

It ate at him, this gnawing doubt. He could brush it off with self-deprecating humor in the moment, but when he was alone with his thoughts, the weight of it settled in his chest like a heavy stone. Maybe it was shame, or maybe it was fear— fear of admitting that you were the only thing, besides Ortho, keeping him tethered to the outside world. The only reason he’d even consider speaking to others beyond his hyperfixations on games, anime, and the endless sea of glowing screens.

And yet, here you were. You had so many other options, so many other things you could be doing with your time. But instead, you were sitting cross-legged on the floor of his room, surrounded by controllers and snack wrappers, laughing softly as you beat him for the third time in a row.

He didn’t get it. He didn’t understand why you stayed.

“You okay?” you asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. You paused the game, tilting your head to look at him, concern flickering across your face. “You’ve been kind of quiet. Did I go too hard on you this time?”

He shook his head quickly, pulling up his hood like it could somehow hide the flush creeping up his neck. “N-No, it’s not that,” he mumbled, voice barely above a whisper.

“Then what’s wrong?” you pressed gently, setting the controller aside. You scooted closer to him, your expression softening in a way that made his chest ache.

Idia hesitated, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. He didn’t want to say it. Didn’t want to ruin this, whatever this was. But the words slipped out anyway, quiet and trembling. “I just… I don’t get why you’re here. With me. I mean, you could be anywhere else, with anyone else, doing something actually… I dunno, meaningful.”

Your heart sank at his words. You reached out, placing a hand on his knee, grounding him before he could spiral further. “Idia, why would you think this isn’t meaningful?”

He let out a bitter laugh, avoiding your gaze. “Because it’s not. Look at me! I’m R-rank material at best, and you… you’re SSR. Top-tier. S-tier, even. You could speedrun life and still 100% it without breaking a sweat, and I’m just here struggling through the tutorial. Why would you waste your time on a noob like me?”

You blinked at his outburst, startled by how much he seemed to believe his own words. He laughed again, bitter and self-deprecating, pulling his hood further over his face like he wanted to disappear. “I mean, seriously. You could be out there living your best life, but instead, you’re in a shut-in’s room, playing games with someone who can’t even grind for basic social skills. It doesn’t make sense. I’m not—” He stopped himself, biting his lip. “I’m not enough for you.”

His voice cracked on the last part, and it broke your heart. You squeezed his knee gently, leaning in closer. “Idia,” you said softly, “you’re not a noob, and you’re definitely not R-rank. You’re so much more than that.”

He didn’t respond, his shoulders hunching as he tried to make himself smaller, but you weren’t about to let him retreat into his shell. “I’m here because I want to be here. I could be anywhere else, sure, but none of those places would make me as happy as this. As you do.”

His eyes widened slightly, finally flickering up to meet yours. You smiled, brushing a strand of blue flame-like hair out of his face. “I don’t care if you think you’re ‘just some otaku.’ You’re thoughtful, smart, and funny— yeah, you are,” you added quickly when he opened his mouth to argue. “You make me laugh. You make me feel safe. And honestly, I love spending time with you, whether it’s gaming until dawn or just sitting here, talking.”

Idia’s lips parted slightly, but no words came out. He looked stunned, like he didn’t quite believe you but wanted to so badly.

“You don’t have to be perfect, Idia,” you continued, your voice barely above a whisper. “You don’t have to be anyone but yourself. That’s enough for me. You’re enough for me.”

For a moment, the room was silent, save for the faint hum of his computer monitors. Then, Idia let out a shaky breath, his eyes glistening as he quickly wiped at them with his sleeve. “…You’re like, ridiculously OP, you know that?” he muttered, his voice thick with emotion.

You grinned, reaching for the controller again. “Yeah, well, someone’s gotta keep you in check when you’re feeling down, right? Now, come on, rematch. I’m not going easy on you this time.”

For the first time that night, he smiled—a small, timid thing, but a smile nonetheless. “You’re on.”

[amourdivine]

୨ ♡ ୧ WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO DATE THEM?   ઉ

Hello lovelies, welcome to another PAC! This is mostly an intuitive reading about what it'd be like to date the person on your mind. This can work for a crush, a friend or someone you know and are romantically interested in - it does not work for celebrities or strangers. If you liked this reading, please consider tipping me at @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.comvia paypal! xo ♡

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HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR PILE.  take a few deep breaths and look at each picture separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later!

PILE 1

I feel nostalgic. You may be asking about an almost lover, someone you never really got off the ground with. Something failed. A failed talking stage, someone moved away, someone chose something or someone else. Maybe a childhood best friend who never looked at you in the same way, but the longing never really left, did it? Perhaps you’re asking about a same sex relationship and the other person is attracted to a different gender than yours.

You probably (still) love this person and your heart aches with what could’ve been, but the truth of it is that you always loved them more. If you were dating, you’d be left with the bittersweet feeling that there has to be more for the both of you… that maybe this isn’t enough, that maybe they don’t love you enough. Insecurities could arise, tears pricking at your eyes. You could feel like you’re too much and not enough for them, simultaneously.

The truth of this realization would be painful, but it would set you free. You’d finally understand why you were never meant to be with this person in the first place. Sometimes when we get what we want, we find out it isn’t what we need. If the two of you dated, you’d realize they’re not all that and that maybe you always deserved more than what they could offer. It’d be a painful realization, because none of your fantasies came true. After all, they were just fantasies about this person… and the unrequited love was best left that way… unrequited. 

It reminds me of a quote I saw a couple of weeks ago. When you find out you’re on the wrong train, you get off immediately. Don’t waste your precious time taking the train which will lead you to the wrong destination.

PILE 2

There is calm here. A lot of peace and understanding. I don’t know if either one of you would be ready for this love, somehow. It sounds like someone could still be stuck in a chaser-runner dynamic, maybe one of you feels like love has to be earned, that love has to hit hard and violently. Maybe chaos feels safer than, well, safety. I also heard “the calm before the storm”.

Either way, this relationship would teach you calmness, tranquility. It would teach you the gentleness of routine, of self-control and discipline. This is not the kind of whirlwind romance people speak of in movies, but this is the kind of steady, strong love that builds over time. Very strong Saturn energy. Reliable, firm. There is nothing unpredictable or unstable about it – even though some people fantasize about the kind of love that sweeps them off their feet, this relationship would ground you like a tree growing from its deep roots.

“Soulmates are not born, they’re made”, it may be something that resonates with this pile. You’d learn about each other and stick through thick and thin. It isn’t the kind of flashy, ultra romantic love that’s seen on Tiktok or Instagram. There is something beautiful and quiet about it, like a safe haven, a cozy cabin in the woods where you go when you need to clear your mind. It is wise and soulful, something like a dead language spoken between only two people. 

PILE 3

I always think of Romeo & Juliet when The Lovers comes to mind. Not in a tragic way. This is the kind of relationship where two people compliment each other. Their differences might make things rough, but that’s where they grow. You are too different and too similar at once, you challenge and learn in each other’s presence because you are almost like two sides of the same coin. That can be amazing, but it can be really difficult if neither are willing to compromise or listen.

This relationship would require maturity. It’d be fun, but daring. Dating them could be amazing only if you are on the same page about your goals, desires and feelings. A lot of communication is required, but the love is there. The intensity, the longing stares and the ache to be with one another is far too real to be forgotten. Even if it didn’t last for long, dating them would be something like once in a lifetime. This pile may resonate with the concept of a divine counterpart. For you, it’s something deeper than a soulmate, almost. 

There’s a ride and die energy to it as well. You’d do everything together, for better or worse. This is the confidant, the best friend and the sensual lover all in one. If not handled carefully or maturely, as I mentioned, it can backfire. Remember that the lovers also appear in The Devil card, so it’s important to approach your love in a pure, honest and genuine way in order to benefit from everything this relationship has to offer you. The choices you make in regards to this person matter.

PILE 4

Lonely, it’d be lonely. Dating them would leave you more than just unsatisfied. This person would abandon you halfway. They’d make promises they cannot keep, based on insincere and vapid feelings. They’re good at crafting illusions and would likely change their mind – shallow, impressed by meaningless things.

Dating them would be a lesson – unfortunately not in a happy way. You’d enter this relationship as a page and leave as a hermit, much more aware of your own surroundings, of your habits and inner self. However, it would be isolating and depressing to go through so much pain for so little joy. If you are not involved with this person, chances are you should be grateful that things didn’t work out. The benefits wouldn’t be worth it in the long run. You can go through this journey of self-discovery without all the pain this person would put you through.

I see puddles, I see crying. Sad playlists and the word ‘lonely’ keeps playing in my head. Although they may have seemed promising in the beginning, like a prince charming, like a fairytale come true, this relationship would be nothing but disappointment, deceit and heartbreak. They can’t even compare to the fullness of your heart and the love you are willing to give. This person only knows selfishness and you are best away from them.

amourdivine 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content!

DISCLAIMER. tarot is a divination tool, it’s not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i don’t take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings. be mindful ♡

[cloveroctobers]

RODEO — Javi Rivera.

A/N: got the chance to see twisters on my birthday and it ofc inspired me to finally write something for Anthony lol. This isn’t going to be anything big since I still want to be on break until late September early October. Am I going to give Javi the love his deserves or am I going to be messy? What type of summer is it? A brat girl summer…whatever that means 😉

WARNINGS: language + stepping out of relationships, mentions of another character from challengers, reader and Kate don’t get along, mentions of minor smut/sexual relations, and ended up different than I originally planned. Enjoy!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

A text on short notice never bothered you.

Granted you had to take a ride from Brooklyn to Manhattan but majority of the time Javi was considerate, letting you know when he was going to be on your new side of town—you were a South Carolina native—and the both of you would make it work. He had this experiment that he worked on with his old friend Kate that actually proved to work this time and with some other guy that had the widest laughter lines you’ve ever seen. A classic cowboy—you deemed him as—that looked awfully familiar when you met him in passing at a dinner you didn’t know you were “imposing” in on.

Kate’s words not Javi or the cowboy’s.

The trio were going back and forth to the city, mostly Kate and the cowboy you learned to be named Tyler but once Javi learned you were in the city too? (Apparently Kate found a home in New York also, working in Mahattan after what went down in Oklahoma five years ago.) He had no problem trying to get to you. You learned that Kate didn’t approve of what you two had going on (Javi let it slip one night as he smacked on some chips and you sipping on some terribly made Kombucha around the outside of the usual meet up spot once he touched down in NY), considering that you were engaged to someone else and that someone was slowly rising in the public eye, Patrick Zweig…you may or may not know him.

Tyler did.

To keep it short, this wouldn’t be the first time that you didn’t give a fuck about what Kate Carter had to say about you. Back in college the both of you tried to get along but it’s just the common case of two people not being able to mesh well. You didn’t appreciate how Kate always felt like she was right, sure the girl was crazy intelligent but she didn’t enjoy your sarcasm or want to listen to your opinions on anything, she found your lack of drive for storm chasing to be confusing on why you bothered to hang out with the group when that was their sole connection, and didn’t understand the relationship you had with her boyfriend, Jeb who was actually your friend first and you were the one who introduced them at a party—it was childish sure but even years later you didn’t need her judgment.

Which is why you and Javi were always discreet. Moments with your college friend in the present never felt like enough but reminded you that you often wondered what it would have been like if you had a different ring on your finger given to you by someone else. Javi always made it his mission to take it right off, slamming it in the drawer beside the bed before interlocking his fingers right with yours as he rocked you into the temporary mattress.

That never lasted long since you loved to be on top. Just ask Tyra’s problematic self! And who was Javi to say no, having you above him like this? like the true goddess that loved to be in control, you never left his mind, even when he struggled to keep his eyes open at the rotation of your hips. His fingertips would leave bruises but you never complained, you liked him leaving marks. Javi felt like this should be wrong, of course he cared about you, maybe even more than that, always did but he had his head turned in a different direction once upon a time. He wasn’t sure if your feelings were genuine or just something to pass the time but he was the first person you told that you didn’t want to marry Patrick after accepting his proposal.

People pleasing was never something that you often did so why were you settling for a man who was fucking around with not only his ex but some strangers on tinder? Javi did his research on your fiancé, some tennis athlete that didn’t have the best stats which was odd since it seemed like he was in his prime in college, Javi would give him credit on that, it was evident that this Patrick guy knew how to play yet something was missing in his gameplay. It was also safe to say that Javi didn’t think Patrick was even your type to be honest…but maybe you had other people in your head too much about where you should be in life.

When it was time to have those deep conversations, like you were nineteen again, present you didn’t want to hear it majority of the time with your fingers in his curls and another hand feeling a part of Javi that was always ready for you. Javi always cursed himself for folding every time you got your hands on him, he wanted to know what was going to become of this relationship but he couldn’t help it.

A piece of your heart was okay for a little while.

There was something about you that he never wanted to let go. You weren’t with the crew when that tornado touched down in Oklahoma that day, you got into an argument with Jeb that day for putting you on the back burner for their project, and as usual Javi checked in on you the best that he could since he was also part of the experiment. You brushed it off like you always did, tired of being the main one to put your frustrations out there; since you were basically the black sheep to the group and clocked into your shitty part time job with Javi promising that he would come check you out once they were done out there. The aftermath of it all also whipped through the friendship that was once there. There was tension no doubt, misdirected anger of course, your unresolved feelings for Jeb, Javi wishing he could have been at two places at once—as if he could have saved his friends from something so destructive with just his two hands. Kate became a ghost, you actually didnt have much to say to her like you thought you would, she was a walking frostbite, with a limp so prominent, disconnected, and leaving a numbing coldness trail behind her everywhere she went the longer she stayed in Oklahoma. It was sad because you knew she had to witness it all and that would forever haunt her.

Unfortunately that bitterness gave you joy. Javi dropped out of college but you kept at it, to distract you from the what if’s along with the great loss and when he thought the military was his best option, you tried to beg him to stay with a kiss that wasn’t the answer to your shared pain. He’s done the dissociating shit before as a way of grieving, he just hoped that you being with him now wasn’t your way of escaping whatever you were still running from.

Storm chasing wasn’t really your thing, don’t think you didnt try but Kinesiology and bull riding was more of your passion. Javi liked to trace and kiss those scars on your body because of that old hobby when you allowed him to hold you afterwards but he had them memorized just like you with his freckles. Yet you still kept coming around which really confused Kate but you got along with everyone else for the most part. The dance parties and stick and poke tattoos with Addy, the 150 questions the hypochondriac Praveen had for you about body horror stories he caught himself reading and watching! And wanting to know what proper care he would have (as if you were suddenly a doctor and not a kinesiology major) to take if that ever happened to him—getting struck by lighting wasn’t enough to get him to stop storm chasing but it was his life and he lived it how he wanted, and then there was Jeb. You used to be able to catch each other’s eyes from across the room and send each other ridiculous facial expressions before carrying on and eventually finding each other later. The shift in your friendship changed once you got left outside of the team. You began to connect with party-man Javi once Jeb started to slip away and build something more with Kate.

It’s always funny how that works out in friend groups isn’t it?

Coming in sync was always something you made your priority. Knowing Javi’s ticks and studying not only his face but his body always made you kick it up a notch, just crossing a boundary that you knew he would try to tap out but you proved to know his body better than he did himself and Javi honestly wanted to hate you for it but couldn’t.

He didn’t think anybody could lock you down—not even your fiancé—and it was something he always thought of when you put your back to him and let him to hold you while you briefly checked your phone.

No new messages from the Fiancé!

Javi peeped.

This Patrick guy didn’t give a fuck about you, just liked having a place to rest his head in instead of his car that you probably paid majority of the rent on. That’s right, Javi always remembered your blabbering once you had too many aperol spritz and what seemed to open you up more on a personal level lately.

“Want something from the café downstairs?” You asked, turning your phone face down to peek back at Javi who was still panting.

Javi slowly blinked, lifting his head in search of the alarm clock to find out what time it is.

[1:40 am]

You were making it your mission to try everything at least once on the menu every time Javi flew in. It was your usual hotel with a delicious café and you just about finished everything on the lunch and dinner menu except for two items that didn’t seem that appetizing to you. This time around you snuck up behind Javi and his laptop while he was downstairs about to dig into one of the dinners he wouldn’t share with you at one of the high rise tables…you were onto the breakfast menu.

He slips his free arm to caress the bone by your ear, “I want you.”

You snort, “I’ll give you another round when you can handle it, preferably in the shower since I’m meeting the girls at 8 for hot yoga. Breakfast can come as early as 6.”

The freckled face man fought the urge to roll his eyes at this. Since when the hell were into hot yoga of all things? The rough around the edges person seemed to be morphed into something else but Javi knew you were still in there somewhere. Don’t get him wrong, Yeah people grow and you’re into what you want to be into but he would have never guessed you hanging out doing yoga or brunch or even having a routine. Maybe axe throwing but he guessed he better be thankful for the yoga since you seemed to be more flexible every time the both of you tried a new position.

Javi tossed in, “is your bitch of a soon to be husband, Patrick joining in on that session?”

You quirk up a brow at this energy but don’t work to defend him, “…never mix business with pleasure.”

Which meant that you never brought multiple parties into your relationship together. He did his thing and you did yours. Patrick was never faithful to you, you knew it and Javi knew it too, you couldn’t be upset about it because you never truly wanted to marry him. There was no wedding date set because frankly the both of you were still young and trying to figure it out. It was selfish since you were still holding out hope that Patrick will actually make something of himself but you both weren’t sure if you even liked each other besides having nightcaps or getting people off your backs when you were seen together. The both of you were lonely, him more than you—if you wanted to make it a competition but it’s what worked and it didn’t need to make sense. It just made Patrick’s family (who were a lot to handle and always kept referring to two of his exes before you in front of you) happy that he had a “stable” person in his life for once and it got your parents off your back—some—but not without their own sly comments.

“Is that what your relationship is?”

You shrug, “yeah.”

“And what about us?”

You turn your face away to reach for the card, “i think you’ll like the BLT French toast or even the prosciutto toast—

He nudges your face back to meet his sunlit honey eyes and there wasn’t an ounce of humor in them. “Listen, I’m serious. We got too much history to keep downplayin’ this. I’m moving back to Miami by the end of the summer and I just want to know how much longer we’re gonna keep doing this. Is this only just sex for you or what?”

Javi’s thumb burns into your skin now and his stare is sharp. You try not to get lost in his eyes and the tightness in your chest isn’t the most pleasant. You’re scared and have been scared before with Jeb but there’s no risk without action. Or whatever it is they say.

“…if you’re in love with me, just say that.”

Javi blinks, “What I know is that you won’t be marrying Patrick Twig—

“That’s not—

“I’m not done.”

Javi ignores the tilt of your head at his command, “You’re better than this and I know you see that when you look in the mirror. Maybe you didn’t fully heal yet and that’s not me tryin’ to disrespect you or nothing but I’m just callin’ it like I see it. I could give you the world besides just this or shit, as least try to but only if that’s what you want because I know what you need and it definitely ain’t a bozo who can’t even take care of what he thinks is his.”

You can always count on Javier Rivera to tell you exactly how it is. He was on your case about your feelings for Jeb just like you were with his with Kate but that all changed once the two started dating. It would have made sense for the both of you to gravitate towards each other then but the need to compensate for what you both missed out on wasnt fulfilling that void with forced love. It was platonic then but what was it now?

“…Do you think I’m yours?”

Javi puffs out a breath at this, “respectfully, imma need you to stop answering me with questions and just be honest with yourself and me. I don’t know how much longer I can keep holding out.”

“But you don’t, not unless I say so anyways.” You wink reaching to caress the back of his shoulder blade but Javi isn’t budging, which makes you sigh, “…okay fine. I hear you, you don’t want to be in a situationship with me anymore.”

Javi nods and awaits for you to say more but the glazed over look in your eyes, tells him that you’re trying to get out of this and he won’t lie, it stings.

“Here’s the thing,” you start with an intake of breath, “you’re right, I’m probably never going to marry Patrick. We’re equally each other’s placeholders, as fucked up as it sounds it’s true. As for this…”

Javier swallows the lump in his throat, just waiting on you to break his heart.

“You’re not the first person to pull this. It’s not my first rodeo…and no that doesn’t mean I’ve been with anyone else outside of you. I wouldn’t do that, not to you. You’re too important.” You admit, “and if we’re gonna do this…I just need you to be patient with me.”

A grin splits onto Javi’s face then, “so that does mean you love me?!”

“…I didn’t say all that.”

He smooches your cheek multiple times that makes your nose crinkle, “you didn’t have to, I can just tell.”

“How?” You ask as he rests his head back on the cloud-like pillow beside yours.

Javi hums, “I’m real in touch with my feminine side you know? Raised by my mom and aunties, got a sister that really wants to meet you—

“Huh? What?”

“Baby steps though,” Javi promises seeing the smidge of panic in your eyes, “I just need more confirmation that you’re going to try this with me. And that you’re not gonna run away since that is kinda what we all do.”

It was your turn to be vulnerable like Javi knew you could be. So you turn to face Javi, face to face and take a moment. “…I can’t say that I’m not scared and not of you but just the idea of actually being loved more than the intimacy and I’m sure you’re more than capable of giving that to me…it’s just that I get in my head a lot.”

Javi nods, “well it’s okay to be scared…Rome wasnt built in a day. We’ve been diligent—

“What if this doesn’t work—

“Nah, we’re not gonna back out when we just started.” Javi slips his hands down to clasp your hands in his, “We keep going, we love, we share—

“Just like your sandwich last night?”

Javi snorts, “we’re all works in progress, don’t hold that against me, baby.” He pecks your hands while you laugh a little, “we do what feels right and I got to ask, does this feel right to you as it does for me?”

You press your forehead against his, “every time I’m with you it does…as much as I try to block you out when we’re away from each other…I can’t. I wont.”

Javi pulls back to kiss your forehead, “bet. Feelings mutual and i just needed to hear you say it so…now that we’re on the same page…go ahead and order me that prosciutto and meet me in the shower.”

He’s kicking the covers back as you sit up on your elbow, “I’m not debating over which asscheek of yours is bigger than the other again.”

Javi sucks his teeth as leans against the doorway of sliding bathroom door in all his naked glory, “you pointed that out, I just wanted to know if the freckles on my left asscheek were also shaped like a palm tree like the ones on my chest.”

Scrunching up your nose, you hold your hand up in the air as if that defense was any better. Javi’s laughter suddenly turns dark as he takes in your appearance and slowly steps back as something stands to your attention.

“So…you joinin’ me or are you just going to continue watching the show?” He points behind himself, slowly stepping back.

Sighing you fold your arms back behind you, “ah…I’ll think about it finster.”

Javi sucks his teeth, stomping right back into the room to yank the tight hotel sheets back from the bed making you hiss at the coolness of the AC. “No way you just compared me to a rugrat.”

He pulls you right into his arms, limbs locking around him easily as you toy with the ends of his curls as he spins you around to lead you right into the bathroom, “did I?” You tease, bumping your nose against his before pulling back, “wait! You didn’t let me order.”

“Guess we’re skipping breakfast now and you might be late to yoga, sorry not sorry.” He mutters before slamming his lips right against yours.

Your thighs alone clench right around his hips as Javi slips his tongue along the shape of your lips while feeling around for the shower latch.

This time around, as sure as you are of the racing of your heart, you’re willing to let Javi lead this round…for now.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

read more twisters anthology fics here.

[baddiewiththebook]

Over the Years | e.m x reader [18+] | p. 12

-> The origin story of Eddie Munson, and how he fell in love with the worst person he possibly could - his best friend.

-> eddie munson x you (she/her)

-> friends to lovers, slow burn, angst

-> warnings - strong language, suggestive themes, smut [18+]

-> <-

September 1983

Strands made up of perfectly woven thread laced in deep desire of longing and hope. Fresh spring water dances down the rocks wetting them with her tongue. The ocean is somehow bare.

It’s like one day you fall ill. A sickness so terrible that no doctor knows what to do - there’s no medicine to cure this. Falling deeper into a pit of self-distraction, Eddie rolls onto his back. The only comfort he has is the tattered blankets that are too thin to keep him warm. A set of headphones drape over his head with music drowning out his deepest thoughts. Or, so he thinks.

With these headphones, Eddie spends less time worrying about you. What you’re doing? Who you’re with? That’s bullshit. Eddie knows who you’re with.

A viper bites at his leg when he’s not watching. Venom consumes him, and Eddie is now frowning once again. The way Eddie thinks of Gareth is poison enough.

Don’t get him wrong, really. Somewhere. Buried deep below. Way below. Way way below. There has to be a single drop of joy that you are happy.

Eddie tries to sort through the millions of pieces to the puzzle. Of course, he’s blurry to all of the signs that Gareth even showed a slight interest in you. Things begin to make more sense when Eddie finally understands why you’re much more giddy about coming to band practice at the least.

It’s his mistake to ask of you to get along with Gareth in the first place. His friend. Or, was he? Whatever. Gareth better not mess up this relationship he has with you. What’s worse? Him being with you? Him breaking your heart?

Eddie’s stomach flops around like a dead fish. That's about right. He hasn’t eaten much today - if anything at all. A bit too consumed by thoughts of you. The idea of eating makes him queasy.

When the cassette tape stops, and his music pauses, Eddie is agitated. He peels open his eyes for the first time and blinks away the crust built up in the inner corner of his eyes.

There’s a hum that doesn’t come from his headphones. A tapping. A heavy thudding.

Eddie pulls off his headset, and the banging on his front door gets only louder. Whoever it is would learn a hard lesson in “going away.”

Visitors are less than welcome at the Munson trailer. Aside from the select few of his favorite people, Eddie hates when people come to the door uninvited. The religious nuts have got to stop harassing him and his uncle. They won’t join any sort of cult leadership that they are apart of. No amount of pamphlets and pleading would persuade either Eddie or Wayne to join their “congregation.”

The whole concept of church baffles Eddie. They’re organized leaders, so call them that. Their beliefs are there to control the masses. The communities swarm at them like bees to pollen on the flowers of springtime - just to be told what to wear, where to go, and who not to talk too.

Organizations like that are where Eddie Munson wants to be least of all.

Don’t get him wrong, Eddie won’t denounce religion in its entirety. Jeff goes to church on Sundays, after bouncing up and down on a guitar in Gareth’s garage the night before. Metal music is in his blood. The religious thing finds a home there too. Jeff isn’t crazy like the others. Eddie has learned to have some respect for God, only because Jeff begs Eddie to not speak too harsh on His name.

Eddie can respect a man, who stands for what he believes in.

“Alright, alright!” Eddie curses at whoever is on the other side of the door. He lets them get in a few more trashes on the front door, before he’s sure they’re not just going to go away. Then, swings the front door open.

On the other side, you’ve flinched back a few steps. Eddie is in one of his moods. Now, you expect the crassness only because that’s how he always answers the door. However, Eddie isn’t particularly peachy since he found out that you’ve been seeing Gareth a few nights ago. It’s not as though you weren’t going to tell him, right?

You’ve already told Gareth that you’ve made up your mind, and you’re going to speak to Eddie today. Gareth would rather you give Eddie some space - seeing as he tracked him through a parking lot and had almost gotten ran over by him last night.

The core of you knows that Gareth is right. Usually, after a few days of Eddie being pent up and angry over something, he’ll calm down and the theatrics will pause for a moment. This is different. Eddie is hardly ever upset with you. You don’t know how to react. A part of you wants to curl up in a ball and sob. The other part is thinking too logically, and demands you stand at his porch and bang on his door until he answers.

Eddie hates how stubborn you are because he is just as stubborn. Only when it comes to you, Eddie will quickly change his mind at the site of your trembling jaw, and your glossy eyes filled to the brim with tears that are just about to break the dam and flood the surface below. Boy, if that dam breaks. It just might not stop!

“I’m sorry?” You’re apologizing, but it comes out more as a question than anything else. Again, you’re whimpering like a lost pup searching for it’s mommy.

Eddie doesn’t take much to fold onto you. Over you. He envelopes you into a tight hold without much to say. The way his eyes roll back into his head tells you everything you need to know.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he hates the way he caves so easily for you. Every word that ripples off of his tongue is just an admission to what he already knows. Then, he adds (stupidly), “Gareth is- nice.”

There it is. The fully guilty conscience that sucker punches him in the gut. In spite of being completely and totally jealous of what Gareth has to dangle in front of him, Eddie also knows that out of all of his friends - you just have to pick the nicest one.

Eddie can feel your smile across his chest. The dimples. The blush. You push him away a bit harshly, and gasp.

“You’ve never said anything nice about my boyfriends before.”

“Your boyfriends before were assholes,” he’s not shy to share that opinion.

You point a finger to his chest, “admit you like Gareth.”

“I never said that.”

“You said he was ‘nice.’”

“He’s better than, Ricky,” Eddie snorts.

“Who?”

“Er- Rodney.”

It is in that moment, where you're sewn up and dry from tears, that Eddie decides love is a bitch. He can't help, but adore your fresh rosy cheeks. The way your mouth blabs. Only, he wishes you would talk about him that way.

-> <-

October 1983

Eddie is already headed down a slippery slope. This last hour, his teacher has informed him that if he keeps slacking off that he won't be getting a passing grade. Eddie's flunking his math class. So, he missed a math quiz or two? A few homework assignments?

It’s his last year in high school - a senior. Wayne spends most of his time putting pressure on Eddie by speaking of nothing, but a graduation party with all of his friends. How could he possibly disappoint his uncle?

“Hi, baby.”

There’s that rancid nickname again coming straight from your mouth. This follows a wet smacking sound when Gareth kisses you. Ugh, has everyone lost their decency?

Eddie should have put up boundaries when you came to him that day. Rule one; no making out in front of him. Rule two; Eddie theorizes as a wide spread grin stretches across your face; Gareth isn’t aloud to be funny.

Slamming his textbook shut, the crowd at the lunch table jumps.

“Rough morning?” Gareth asks.

There you go laughing again. Head tilted to the sky - Gareth basks in this.

-> <-

December 1983

Trees are bare of their leaves. The hours in the day that are bright become next to none. Eddie still finds time to work on his truck, before nightfall. The break pads are in need of replacement, and he should also be changing the oil too.

Eddie would rather wrestle with his car in the dead of winter where his fingertips could frost off, than to deal with the hot heat from summer time.

Besides, it hadn’t snowed yet.

In the afternoon, Eddie was hoping to see your car pull in the driveway. It’s Christmas Eve. The least he could do is hand you the gift he’s gotten you. Like every year, Eddie takes the time to splurge some extra cash to get you exactly what you want.

Eddie toys with the bow atop the messily thrown together wrapping paper. The reindeer are smushed together awkwardly next to each other. But, they’re all still smiling. Eddie hopes they don’t mind. It’s the same paper Eddie uses every year. Every year, he’s getting a bit worse at wrapping gifts than the year before that.

You don’t declare any sort of discomfort by the way he wraps the gifts. If anything you find the attempt quite charming. It’s tradition to each give your gifts on Christmas Eve; and it has become tradition for you to come to his house for dinner.

Your mom hasn’t been home much.

As per usually, Eddie gifts you another journal. Something for you to do, other than sit around waiting for the rainbow to come after the rain. Maybe one day, you'll show him what you've filled in those pages with. He hasn't asked.

Out of the corner of his eye, he catches himself glimpsing at the other gift he has sitting on top of his dresser. It’s too late for you to receive this now. Out of sight out of mind, Eddie decides it’s best if he shoves the little box inside of his socks away from the world. The charms jangle against the metal chain, as he pushes that tiny square box as far back as he can.

It’s forgotten about for now.

-> <-

(to be continued)

tags -> @leelei1980 @sheneedsrocknroll92 @jesuisbuginette @starrywhitenight @meetmeatyourworst @munsonburn3r @5tud10-54r4h @pvdulmol @loveryanax @am0iur @naatggeo

[theegemini92]

I’m repeating myself again… don’t say you fuvk with Tamlin and don’t fully see or understand him. I have never seen a post where someone would call Rhys a narcissist when he is the perfect example of it.

Narcissism involves self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, and a lack of empathy.

This is the definition of Rhysand lint butroller

People’s view of Tamlin is Formed from feyre POV especially when he has people to look after, an army at his border, less equipped people to fight. I have seen a mother of triplets before now imagine 100s and thousands of people relying on you right after a deadly curse.

I’d like to know where Tamlin criticized anyone. He never expresses disapproval of another aka feyre. blamed her, correct her, nitpick, or fix her. As we all recall he didn’t pay close attention to her enough to even do that. Is that not the whole point?

Exploitation? You mean the tithing? Or the part that he gave enough to the archerons to be able to afford three war ships? How do you exploit someone socially when she closes herself off or when the king of hybern wants her? Emotionally yes I can admit that but it went both ways when the other didn’t open up?

What friends did Feyre have to isolate her from? She didn’t express her willingness to visit her family either.

Support networks by the abuser? Boundary violation? Did Feyre set any? Remember when she came back from NC tried to get Lucien by flirting and never once did Tamlin even initiate anything with her…

Blame shifting? Are you fuvking kidding me? So this male had no right to blame Rhysand for his illirate gf leaving? Knowing he has mind controlling powers and hates him?

I’d be in an emotional roller coaster if I have children to look after with no support and a country to run.

I can admit Tamlin has his faults. I will never say he’s innocent. But when you haven’t gotten his side of the story this conclusion will never ever be accurate. Until tam which I know sjm will make him look bad, admit his faults he will never be a narcissist or lack empathy. Because where is the empathy for Tamlin? Why does no one care for his feelings? Why is he suppose to bend and break for others? If he lacked empathy he won’t have gotten blood on his hands for Lucien, taken refugees in. Give alis and her nephews a place in his home.

I can admit that Tamlin is the person that has followed the rules and yet came up short and doesn’t understand why. He is the typical look of the hero, fair upright, just, RULE FOLLOWER and Rhys is the dark bad one. So it goes to show that because Rhys is “bad” everyone is expects his mediocrity while Tamlin is STILL being punished for not holding up the mantle when he after all is still flesh and bone. So as readers, even those who claim to see him are still condemning him.

I can partially agree to this where life isn’t always order and can be chaotic However the world is still full of order and laws. Especially as a leader. There are structures in prythian just because we see the NC look easy going doesn’t mean all the other courts don’t abide by rules. Then the lady of autumn has wasted her life since it was so easy for Feyre. Again Tamlin is the “hero” trope but giving what Spring was going through at that time was not picture perfect.. like what are you saying? 🤣 velaris was untouched had no army knocking at the door how was that perfect?

What about him?

Again how would he when his people needed him when Hubert was there, you don’t even know what he was doing when the twins were over. WE DONT KNOW EVERYTHING…

So why is this even a point if she was also doing it to him?

I will end by saying to me Tamlin did his best. He is no innocent but that is only for his perspective until then he is innocent and I stand by that. If Rapesand girlies can stand 10 toes for a narc like him I will for Tamlin. To me he did what many of us would’ve done in his situation or worse. He and feyre are a typical example of double standards in a relationship. Where she ain’t even held accountable for her actions towards him.

If my country is burning I don’t expect my president to be cuddling his depressed traumatic wife. I know that will sound harsh to people but he is in power for my needs not his and that’s a fact.

After all Rhysand can cause the genocide of the winter court and feyre can commit war crimes to the sc but godforbid Tamlin locks her indoors. He’s labeled a freaking narcissist 🤦🏾‍♀️

He needs no redemption just a family a home warm and filled with love. He deserves that.

[nayatarot777]

PSA For Those Who Don’t Understand That Shit Ain’t Always Sweet Out Here In This Spiritual/Tarot World

I’m not one of these “love and light” tarot readers/spiritualists. You’re going to hear shit about yourselves in my readings that you don’t like, if that’s what Spirit wants to come out. Idgaf if it’s based on personal topics, relationships, work, health in any aspect - a lot of us self-sabotage. A lot of us are in situations with people and environments due to our own doing (partially). I’m not the reader that’s going to enable your perpetual victim complex and tell you what you want to hear to protect your ego from seeing a side to yourself that you don’t like. I’m not one of those readers who help you to lack accountability over what you allow into your own life despite having the option to do better. Of course I’ll try to put it in a delicate way where I can, but if a difficult pill to swallow is presented in a reading, I’m going to point it out.

I’ll point out your control issues that I see (no matter how much you try to hide or deny them). I’ll point out where you’re betraying yourself, where you’re disrespecting yourself, and where you’re disrespecting another. If you want to focus on love and light, then by all means - do that. But that’s the reason why so many of you are still unstable and imbalanced with no idea of how to balance and ground yourself. You think any of us could exist without darkness and negativity (which isn’t always evil and “bad”)? You think that you can exist only paying attention to the good parts of you without the bad? Go ahead and see how that turns out for you.

So many of you wonder why your intuition is thwarted and why you feel like you can’t connect to your higher self or the spiritual world without a “middleman” (such as myself). It’s because you’re not ready for that. Because you’re not ready to explore darkness within yourself in order to clear out a lot of the bs that’s clouding your vision. Why do you think that so many people who are great intuitives go through some of the darkest manifestations of life itself? Major abuse, betrayal, childhood wounds, just complete chaos - and they STILL come out to be some of the strongest and well-balanced people you’ll ever meet. They’re people who are strong enough to transmute darkness into light. You’re not going to do that by ignoring shit that you don’t like. And the darkness is terrifying. Exploring space, the deep sea, or any type of unknown is terrifying. But what would society look like if not one of us decided to do that? Where would we be as a human race if people with courage didn’t venture into those spaces and bring back a bunch of knowledge for us to expand our consciousness with? We all owe doing that for ourselves. Not doing so is self-betrayal and stagnation.

Intuition is represented by the moon. Does the moon emit light? No. Mother Luna is a dark entity and she lives in the darkness - which is the core of everything. And if you’re a woman/a feminine, you’re doing yourself even more of a disservice. Because darkness is pure, feminine energy. We come from our mother’s dark ass wombs. This entire universe began as a dark ass body of space-and-time before it formed physical planetary bodies and light sources. Reject yourselves all you want, but you can’t complain that you’re out of whack energetically if you choose to do so. Or when what you’re manifesting doesn’t come through (which also stems from the darkness btw). Don’t reject the darkness but expect to be able to use it when it benefits you. Sounds like shit that masculines have done to the feminine for centuries, huh? And so many feminines are doing that same exact shit to themselves. It’s sad.

We’ve seen entire groups of people with weak egos follow the same path of rejecting darkness/femininity and we see how difficult they are as people to co-exist with: ignorant men who have egos as big as the sun because they don’t want to face the hidden sides of themselves - that often times houses some ugly traits because of what they’ve allowed to fester in the dark corners of their psyche. Ignorant, male-centred religious people who identify so much with their religion that they only want to focus on the light, happy parts of their religion while ignoring how much harm that same religion can cause to others (especially feminines/women). Thats just to name a few. If you walk around with this idea that you’re nothing but “love and light” then just know that you’re another ignorant person in this world who is no doubt ignoring very real and human negative effects that you have on yourself and/or others - no doubt. And the darkness doesn’t always have negative effects (obviously) but it will when it’s suppressed and therefore forced to come out in uncontrolled, unconscious ways. If that’s what you want to do, then I’m not the reader for you.

[dysfunctionalupsidedown]

Mike Wheeler: Trauma, Insecurity, and "STurn" (Analysis)

In "From the Hair Chair: Finn Wolfhard | Stranger Things", which is available on the official Stranger Things YouTube channel, Finn Wolfhard addresses the question, "What's going on with Mike Wheeler in Season 4?"

Mike Wheeler’s behavior in S4 has confused many, especially general audiences. However, if you look at the bigger picture, his progression (or regression) into the Mike Wheeler we know from S4 does make sense. To get a clear idea of what’s going on with him, we must look at the four seasons sequentially and with a more subtextual eye. We have a few physical puzzle pieces, and for now, we need to fill in the rest with our imagination based on evidence. A Mike point of view isn’t particularly needed to fully understand this, although it would be helpful for the GA and is something I want from S5.

In relation to this particular interview, I’ll examine Stranger Things (2016) for the past and present and “STurn” for the possible future. “STurn” actually does tell us a bit about how Mike’s self-identity arc will potentially continue in S5 and wrap up.

Also, I understand that “STurn” isn’t factual and is not even confirmed to be related to ST5. Though I don’t believe this entire analysis is instantly negated by my use of the playlist, as its only purpose here is to assume a hypothetical future. Aside from the Finn interview, everything else comes straight from the show and holds a reasonable explanation for Mike’s behavior up until the end of S4.

Remember, this post is for fun and speculation, and "STurn" is the best we have right now. Just keep in mind that I’m going into this analysis assuming it’s related to Mike Wheeler in S5. I could be entirely incorrect. Similarly, this interview isn’t wholly factual either, as it’s not what’s in the show, but it relates enough to what we’ve been shown of Mike for me to comment on.

This might be a lengthier post. Be warned.

If you’re still here and interested, I’ll get right into it.

Trauma

Finn first addresses how each of the characters are dealing with their past trauma, and that is a perfect way to describe Mike’s behavior in S4. I think a lot of people, especially the general audience, forget that, yes, while these are all characters, trauma does have the ability to affect them and change their behavior. There was an entire “Your original character before trauma vs. after trauma” trend on TikTok a minute back, and that wasn’t for nothing. 

Mike, just in S1, witnessed one of his best friends go missing, watched this best friend turn up apparently dead (as well as see his “body”), went to his funeral, jumped off of a ledge, saw his other newfound friend disappear, and so much more. Don't even get me started on the following seasons.

Mike is afraid of losing. That’s what happened to him in S1. He lost. First Will, then El. 

His fear of loss and determination to keep things in his life are significant parts of his character and have been since S1. That’s why he was so intent on finding Will. That's why he checked his walkie for El every night. That’s why he acts out in S3-S4. This isn’t an excuse for his behavior, but an explanation. It’s part of his trauma, and we see this in S4 with his fear of losing Will and El again: “Maybe I feel like I lost you or something,” and “I can't lose you,” respectively. I theorize that he fears being out of control regarding these things.

A lack of control also explains why he was so volatile to Will and El during and after Rink-O-Mania. For Will, Mike addresses this directly to him when he apologizes. It’s made evident to the audience that he acted cold in part because he thought Will was slipping away, but truthfully, he wasn’t aloof. He noticed everything about Will’s behavior and even managed to make the tragedy of that day about their friendship. Now, back to the apology, “About the last few days… You didn’t deserve anything… The truth is, the last year has been weird… Maybe I was worrying too much about El… And, I don’t know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something.” His defensiveness during the argument at the rink seems more like a trauma response than straight-up disinterest, which some people apparently think.

For El, I think this translates into him wanting her to need him. If El needs him, then there’s no way he can lose her, right? We know from the show that she doesn’t need him anymore. Mike also acknowledges this multiple times, and that thought terrifies him. In the last episode, he explains this to her, “... The truth is, El, I don’t know how to live without you… I can’t lose you, okay?”

Before Will shows Mike the painting in the van, Mike explains his dilemma. Will tries reassuring Mike, telling him that El will be fine, and Mike says he understands that. Mike then explains his true concern, “But what if after all this is over, she doesn’t need me anymore?... The truth is, when I stumbled on her in the woods, she just needed someone. It’s not fate, it’s not destiny, it’s just simple dumb luck. And one day, she's gonna realize that I’m just some random nerd that got lucky that Superman landed on his doorstep. I mean, at least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for The Daily Planet.” 

Will continues to comfort him, focusing more on the loss aspect of Mike’s trauma, which is made evident here. But those lines also make it clear that Mike is afraid El will realize his inferiority to her and abandon him. This is a good transition into Mike’s insecurity.

Insecurity

I’ve seen people argue against what Finn says here because Mike is part of the somewhat “outcast” group at school. I don’t think trying to argue that takes away from the fact that Mike did, does, and will continue to try and lead a “normal” lifestyle. He’s a teenage boy with a girlfriend and a friend group he fits into. That’s normal. He’s trying to get by. 

It was the same in S3. Mike was a kid with friends, a girlfriend, and a new want for maturity. It’s not unrealistic that the character is aging out of or into specific behaviors, especially ones that he’s previously exhibited. That leads us to his insecurity. 

We’ve had hints of it starting as far back as S1E3, when Troy injures Mike, and he initially lies about it to El so that he doesn’t seem like a loser. Similarly, these themes pick up with Will in S3E3 during their fight in the rain, “...We’re not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?”

Curiously, Mike is shown to be especially “normal” in California. He dresses differently than he does in Hawkins and acts more aloof. As Argyle says, “It’s a shitty knock-off.” Skipping forward to the “... She's gonna realize that I’m just some random nerd that got lucky that Superman landed on his doorstep… at least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for The Daily Planet” line, and we have a good enough view of Mike’s internal conflict.

He is deeply insecure, and it seems particularly so around El. I don’t know if this was addressed in the show, and I wish we had seen some of Mike’s letters, but does El even know about the Hellfire Club? I don’t believe we’re given any indication that she does, which could imply that Mike kept it hidden from her. It wouldn’t be surprising, considering his complete attitude change in California. Also keeping in mind that Mike stopped playing D&D when he was with her in S3 and only continued to play in S4 while El was away.

Mike also displays this insecurity by choosing to distance Will. For what reason, I can’t say for sure, but it’s probably something “abnormal.” 

Regardless, his insecurity ties into his fear of loss. The more normal he is, the more things he can maintain in life and the less he has to lose. Especially when it comes to El. It all stems back to his fear, not genuine malintent, and I see too many viewers misunderstand this. 

It also works the opposite way, to a different and lesser extent. If he’s out of Hellfire Club, he loses his “normal teenage clique.” Aside from losing El completely as someone he profoundly cares about, if he loses El as a partner, he loses his girlfriend. That’s a blow to his normality. 

Will is confusing to me. If he “loses” Will, just like he felt he did at the beginning of S4, he falls more into the pattern of trying to be normal. There’s no impact on his normality. By keeping Will at arms-length, Mike gravitated more towards his “shitty knock-off” version of himself. Something about Will brings out what Mike feels is abnormal in him, so by distancing himself, he could avoid it altogether. That’s likely in part what caused such a conflict at the beginning of S4: Mike’s inability to be “normal” while fully keeping Will in his life and vice versa, his inability to lose Will just to maintain normalcy.

"STurn"

We’ve focused on trauma and insecurity. Now, it’s time for self-identity. I think that's a theme in store for the future. I'll refer back to the “STurn” analysis I previously did.

Many of the songs on this playlist contain themes of a false identity. I’ll start with “Angst In My Pants” first. To quote my "STurn" analysis:

This song is about a person attempting to be someone they're not, suppressing who they really are, and it ultimately leading to dissatisfaction. The lyrics, "You can dress nautical / Learn to tie knots / Take lots of Dramamine / Out on your yacht" describe a faux lifestyle one lives that only serves to hurt them in the end: The idea of putting on a self-harming persona. This could be what Mike is going through in S5.

Next, we have "Substitute":

This track is about an idealized version of someone being put in place of their true self. The narrator describes a scenario in which their partner sees a version of them, "I'm a substitute for another guy / I look pretty tall but my heels are high / The simple things you see are all complicated / I look bloody young, but I'm just back-dated, yeah", that is unrealistic and put on, as seen in the lyrics "Substitute your lies for fact / I see right through your plastic mac / I look all white, but my dad was black / My fine-looking suit is really made out of sack"... The concept of a guise applies well to Mike, as referenced in Angst In My Pants. A recurring theme of hiding oneself really makes me think Mike is going to completely abandon his interests for a different lifestyle. I believe Finn has also mentioned that Mike wants to be as "normal" as possible, so I can't wait to see [how far] they take that idea. It could also be him realizing how he's been acting, and admitting that this "romanticized" version isn't true to him.

Finally, "The Rebel Kind":

Like The Better Side, I couldn't find any lyrics, so I'm doing it by ear. Though, I'm happy to say that this song is about a desire to embrace differences and rebellion. "We'll be free to run with the rebel kind" and "It's not easy, but I don't mind / I just want to run with the rebel kind" establish that. The track appears to tie into Mike's insecurity struggles throughout the playlist. It could be the narrator's struggle to keep up with societal norms before finally giving in to their truth instead of trying to conform, read as "they call us rebels but don't get how hard it is to for us to keep up." On the other hand, it could be the narrator commenting on how society doesn't understand people like them, and, by embracing their true selves, it proves more about who they are than conforming ever would; read as, "you think we're the rebellious ones, but you don't understand that we're more self-secure and strong than you'll ever be." I can see both of these interpretations working for Mike and his connection to the Party. The progression of insecurity in Angst In My Pants and potential realization of this guise in Substitute is wrapped up by Mike's self-acceptance here. I really hope this is how it plays out in S5.

Conclusion

Mike's brewing insecurity, paired with his trauma of loss, seems like it may boil over in S5. I theorize that he’ll drift even more into his “shitty knock-off” self, even if just on the surface, and do whatever he can to maintain normalcy in his life. Whether this leads to more conflict with Will, we’ll have to wait and see.

Besides that, Mike might eventually accept his "differences." He also may be willing to cope with loss for what it is, even if it’s the loss of the normalcy he tries so hard to maintain in certain situations. I can see Mike having a heavy emphasis on self-identity in S5, and as I said earlier, I can’t wait to see where they take that.

Thank you for reading; I hope you enjoyed!

As is customary with all my posts, if anything here is incorrect or you believe there’s something I should add, feel free to let me know. I’d love to have more conversations about Mike and read all the predictions for S5 I can.

[sparkles-and-trash]

todobaku ft Izuku who loves his friends so much!

Listen, Bakugo understands that watching him and Shouto dance around each other for years have been annoying.

He understands that they’ve both been thick idiots who both refused to believe the other could like them back.

But they’ve finally worked it out, a little while ago actually, but the just shared the news last night, and fuck him, he kinda expected people to be sorta happy for them.

And to be fair, most people have been.

So why the fuck is Izuku looking like he’s about to tell Bakugo that they both fell off the charts and are getting their hero licsenses revoked?

Bakugo isn’t scared of much, but when Izuku gets like that he’s fucking terrifying, okay?

At least the fucker still has tje decency to knock, even though all the walls are glass and there’s really no need, but that one is forever polite.

Bakugo gestures for him to come in, and Izuku walks solemnly up to him and sits in the chair on the other side of the desk.

«Kacchan, we have to talk.»

Bakugo huffs.

«What, ya gonna dump my ass?» he asks cheekily, but Izuku doesn’t humor him.

«I understand you’re finally dating Shouto-kun?» he asks instead, and Bakugo only nodds, and Izuku contuines.

«You have to be good to him, Kacchan.»

Bakugo blinks.

«Wha- the fuck you sayin’ that for, huh?!» Bakugo asks, highly offended.

Izuku doesn’t even flinch.

«He’s so *good*, Kacchan,» he says instead.

«You can’t hurt him.»

Bakugo rolls his eyes, but he feels a little flustered at this point.

«Tch, you think I don’t fucking know that, huh?» Bakugo shoots back.

«You think I haven’t thought about it for every goddamn day since we were sixteen?»

Izuku’s face softened a little.

«I know, Kacchan, but Shouto’s my best friend,» Izuku says, still serious, but a little softer now.

«He’s the kindest person I know, and I know a lot of kind people.»

Bakugo just «tch’s».

«And what, knowing me since we were kids isn’t good enough for you? You think I’m gonna fuck it up?»

Izuku sighs.

Dramatic ass.

«I don’t, Kacchan, but this is just something I felt like I had to do,» he explains, and Bakugo crossed his arms.

«If you hurt him, I will kill you.» Izuku says seriously.

Bakugo shivers.

«I believe that,» he says earnestly, and Izuku smiles.

«It’s not just me, you know?» Izuku says, and Bakugo raises his eyebrows.

«Kirishima is over at Shouto’s office doing the same thing right now.»

Bakugo shoots up from the chair before he has time to think.

«That idiot is WHAT?!» he shouts, and bursts out of the office, heading for Shouto’s own down the hall in record speed, not noticing Izuku’s chuckles as he goes.

It takes all the self-control he has to not use his explosions tl go faster, but as he comes to a halt in front of the big glass walls in front of Shouto’s office, he realizes the situation he has to save Shouto from is very different than the one he just faced with Izuku.

Inside the office is a very stiff and awkward Shouto, awkwardly patting Kirishima’s (thankfully) not styled hair as the red haired hero is fully sobbing on poor Shouto’s shoulder.

Bakugo can hear his sobbing from out there, and in between he catches some words like «so happy» «finally, man» and worst of all, «bro-in-law».

When Shouto spots Bakugo his wide eyes softens a tad, and hus posture relaxes as he points down at Kirishima with wide eyes, clearly asking for help.

Bakugo only grins back at him, but Shouto knows him and makes that stupid pouty face he knows is Bakugo’s biggest weakness, and -

Well, if both Bakugo and Shouto has to walk around for the rest of the day with Kirishima’s snot and tear stains on their shoulders for the rest of the day, then that would be a small price to pay, after all.

//

ahh my first tdbk piece ever?? I hope y’all are okay with me branching out a little on my ships, but I promise the dabihawks stuff won’t suffer from it!

[sepublic]

Given Luz’s arc in the Boiling Isles was about expecting fantasy only to encounter reality underneath, I find it fitting her villain follows a similar trajectory. We are introduced to the enigmatic Emperor Belos, a strange and mysterious villain wielding arcane magic. Many of us understandably speculated that he was some sort of lich or other type of demon, and in the end…

He’s just some guy; Just another bigoted human. Even with his human persona Philip Wittebane, he attempts to frame himself as some tragic character unfairly hurt by society…

But again, there’s the simpler truth; He’s just an immature jerk. That’s why he’s disliked. And it’s interesting, how instead of the romanticized, sympathetic, larger than life villain, we have one closer to reality, and accurate to the actual people in power that Belos is based off of; Entitled (wo)manchildren with delusions of grandeur. It’s fittingly mundane and literally what Luz struggled with back home.

Belos is every conservative politician who thinks he’s been deeply wronged by minorities, and blames them for “taking away” a loved one who clearly made their own choice and was happier for it, because self-perceived victimization provides a handy excuse for their banal actions. They say they’re maintaining the sanctity of society but really they just want to control their perfect little worlds, and have more than enough devil’s advocates. Think of guys like Elon Musk; Some mediocre white dude who thinks of himself as particularly exceptional and self-made, when really he just stood on the shoulders of others and stole, and throws a tantrum whenever he doesn’t get his way.

He’s the suburban middle-class white dude who’s bored and thinks shooting lions in Africa makes him a big man. He’s the sweet little brother who started watching a misogynistic streamer and is now a raging bigot who refuses to grow out of it, worshipping other mediocre white men. He’s a mundane bully among Luz’s peers with no greater reason than that it’s easier to hurt others and put them down to make himself feel taller by comparison; Not so much because he’s been hurt (if at all), but because he doesn’t care.

He’s the bully who cheers for Dumbo because he lacks the self-awareness to realize he’s the villain onscreen. And people like that often don’t accept help, and sometimes they never needed it to begin with because their issues don’t come from a lack of compassion from others. You should try to understand others, but sometimes all you’ll find in some is banality. Belos isn’t some type of made up creature, at his core he’s the exact kind of person you’ll encounter in real life, hence his mundane parallel in Jacob Hopkins; He’s the jerk online who wants to debate.

And this is all very fitting for Luz’s arc; Luz went to the Boiling Isles expecting some form of escapism, but in the end, the exact same problems she encountered at home followed her there. The same type of person that contributed to Luz being deemed deviant in the U.S. also plays a role in Luz feeling unwelcome in the Demon Realm; A Puritan white man, one of the progenitors for the founding fathers of America, and its evangelical culture. And just like the jerks online who want to debate, Luz realized the only response to give was silence.

The friends Luz meets, and the people she resolves conflicts with (some of whom do fulfill the sympathetic antagonist niche), are just like you and I. There’s no real difference between witches/demons and humans. What Luz learns in the Boiling Isles still applies to her human life; She didn’t succeed in running away, but actually unwittingly grew to handle it and meeting new people. She developed the self-awareness needed to avoid becoming like those who originally hurt her, and after helping so many others was allowed to realize she was also entitled to setting boundaries and prioritizing her own health.

Luz finding the isles is fundamentally no different than a person in real life moving somewhere else, and/or finding a community of other humans like them, with the presence of kids like Masha and their friends displaying how that applies in real life. Luz still learned how to deal with reality, she had it in herself all along. She didn’t ignore her problems in the Boiling Isles, she faced them there with support. The Demon Realm and Luz’s problems there aren’t all that different from her ‘real’ life, they’re just as real and that’s why they still matter and are good for Luz. It’s all one big metaphor in the sense that it’s equivalent and applicable, and Luz figured that out like the audience did; Her ‘escapism’ was just her life back home but with a different coat of paint, and that’s good.

[psicheanima]

Confused by your response to the other ask. Makima's lack of an inner world and her refusal to linger on her feelings means she's not depressed? I can understand her having no inner world even if she watches so many movies because of her creative sterility making it impossible for her to create but how is her being unaware of her feelings enough to not make her depression? Depression isn't just sadness, it's a constant feeling of emptiness.

What I meant in my earlier response is that “depression”, as we define it for humans, hinges on a human understanding of an inner self. Most people who are depressed experience it not due to external circumstances (as many believe) but because of their internal emotional landscape— something Makima fundamentally lacks. While she may seem as someone settled into a years long acceptance of it, her lack of an inner world and her inability to process emotions as humans do make it hard to classify her experience as “depression” in the way we understand it.

Makima’s existence is intrinsically tied to her nature as a Devil— a manifestation of the fear of control and dominance. She doesn’t process or linger on feelings of emptiness or loneliness because she is, quite literally, built differently. For Makima, her lack of emotional depth or inner turmoil isn't a deficiency; it's simply her existence.

This isn’t to say she has no personality, obviously she does (or else I wouldn’t be here). But her capacity for introspection or emotional growth is fundamentally constrained by her nature. Humans fear control as unyielding, detached, and unfeeling—and that’s what Makima embodies. Even Nayuta, raised with care and love, struggled to fully express affection (in an aggressive, more bratty, spoiled, childish manner of what Control looks like) , reflecting the inherent limitations of what Control represents.

A human, by contrast, is a blank slate. We can grow, change, and adapt. Makima’s existence doesn’t afford her that flexibility. For her, there’s no true “emptiness” because this is simply her state of being. It’s not that she overcomes her feelings; they just don’t exist for her in the way they do for us anymore due to her upbringing, however cold, sterile or government-funded it was implied to be.

So, while I understand why one might see her as depressed, I personally can’t categorize her that way. Her existence doesn’t align with the human concept of depression, at least in my view. But it’s presumptuous of me, I know that. It’s just how I see her. For Makima, this is her life, her purpose, and her identity— complete. There is not a permeating sense of sadness. She has a goal. She controls this goal.

I think, from our outside perspective, her existence is very sad, though. That’s what I always loved about her character. It is an empty life, no matter her view.

This is just my interpretation, though, based on how I understand her as a fictional, inhuman character. As someone diagnosed with a severe form of depression since childhood, I’m not dismissing the concept, nor do I not understand it, so please don’t imply such a thing— I’m only applying it differently here. If you interpret her differently and see her as experiencing depression, I respect that perspective and even agree with it on some terms myself. Fictional characters are open to varying interpretations, and this is simply mine.

[imagionationstation]

So here’s what went down…

Ah, yes.

The infamous “Splinter passes on the mantle of Sensei” scene.

Possibly the most misinterpreted scene in the history of 2012turtle scenes. (Perhaps I shall get to the others someday.)

I’ve always assumed that the verdict for this scene was the same for all, and I never knew people hated, or even disliked, Splinter for his choices in this until recently. And it has been eating away at me, because I don’t think ya’ll understand what’s going on here.

Maybe you do, but…

Can I point out exactly what I saw happen here?

Yeah?

Thanks. 🤎

1: Splinter is not sleeping and is ‘distant’, making Leo worried enough to inquire about his health. He’s clearly spending every second agonizing over what’s coming, and meditation is probably his only solace from the burden of his fears. (I do the same thing when I’m anxious. Distract and distance, it helps me feel a sense of- control, I guess.) 2: Splinter does not address Leo’s question. He’s already tried to tell Leo what was going on before this, and now he wants to focus on what he feels is important. His family. He immediately changes the subject (limping in a way that has me suddenly concerned because GUYS HE HURT AND OLD AND GOING TO FIGHT FOR HIS LIFE PLEASE NO-) and asks Leo why he made him leader. 3: Leo awkwardly repeats what he said, “Because I asked to be… You said it wasn’t because of my skills…” (THAT’S ONE INTENSE OF A WEIGHT TO CARRY IF YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT, THE HECK-) and Splinter corrects, “I said that only to temper your ego at the time. I knew even when you were a small boy, that you would one day grow up to be the leader of this team.” -Can I just add that he’s not saying this literally. He’s the cryptic, wise, know-it-all sensei. He’s not saying, “I planned to make you soldiers and for you to lead the fight”. He’s saying, “You have always been the one to teach, protect, and lead your brothers, and there was absolutely no one else as perfect for the job.”

Seriously. Lookit baby Leo guarding them while daddy’s away. 💙💙

4: And then he throws everyone watching through a loop: “And when I pass on, to be like a father as well.” And just like us, Leo’s got a whole lot of “EXCUSE ME, WHAT?!” going down.

5: But Splinter’s going stay his cryptic self by clearing no air. (Okay, but let’s think about WHY for a moment. We know our leader in blue by now. If Leo knew exactly what he knew, martyr instincts would kick in hard core, and he would do everything it takes to make sure their father survives. And Master Splinter isn’t going to sit here and let Leo go on a suicide quest. From his POV- He’s old. He’s lived his life. He can try to accept his own death. He will not accept Leo’s.)

6: Splinter imparts this saying that I love with everything in me. “Leonardo. If I can only impart one piece of wisdom that will remain with you forever…” (Ergo, Dude, this is Important. Pay attention to what Imma about to say) “Remember. Giving guidance to your brothers and friends does not come from here…”

“It comes from here…”

THIS IS DEEP, YO. IT SAYS SO MUCH AND IT’S SO SIMPLE-

And people are MAD AT HIM FOR THIS?!

Sorry, sorry- emotions. I’m breathing. I’m breeaaathing… Okay. Yes, I get the gist of the arguments. ‘Splinter made Leo head of the household and that was a terrible thing for him to do. Leo’s too young for that responsibility, he already has the weight of being leader on his shoulders, and that’s a burden his mourning heart can’t carry. It’s cruel for him to do such a thing.’

Or-

And-

@tmntforeverinmyheart and @stardustartist, everyone’s opinion is built off of observations, beliefs, and their own POV on events, and every opinion matters. Thank you for yours. 💚

Now onto mine-

I don’t know what this quote from Splinter means to you guys, but to me, it’s his way of trying to fix things!

I think he finally realized that he done messed up. He knows that he put Leo in a position of ‘I am leader, and mission always comes first’. He’s had plenty of time to see the damage he’s done, and he’s worried of what will come off his family if he doesn’t fix it.

Leo is too far into his head. He isn’t thinking with his heart- “what will happen to my family with me gone?”. He’s thinking with his head, “lives are at stake and I’m the leader- self sacrifice it is.”

Every mission, every step, every choice is a plan, and his life is simply a factor in it. A pawn to be thrown away to complete the important task. It doesn’t hold meaning because of what Splinter told him all the way back in season one, and his father is finally realizing it. (ABOUT FREAKING TIME-)

He’s not telling him “don’t think”.

He’s saying, “Think another way.”

I feel you, @sr200916. A friend of mine said this exact same thing, and I wholeheartedly agree. And here’s some depth into why.

Kids without parents attach themselves to role models. Mother figures, father figures- kids need to be guided, and led, and hugged, and need that one person who can say “it’s okay” and magically the world is a little less dark.

And they’re just. KIDS. They left the sewers three/four years ago! Everything is still so wide and new and confusing and there’s still so much they haven’t learned or experienced- they’re kids.

And yes. Leo is a kid too. But who else are they supposed to turn to?

Karai?

She’s not a parents. She’s gone from enemy, to somewhat friend, to sister-in-college-who-drops-by-sometimes. She’s living her own life. They aren’t going to see her as anything more than their equal. Much less look upon her as a guardian.

April and Casey?

Best friends/honorary siblings. They aren’t going to fit that role.

Mutanimals? Leatherhead? Bishop?

Friends. Equals. People that they trust. But not anyone that they’re immediately going to lean on as a guardian. They need someone who they already look up to and trust to lead and guide them. They need someone who already has their well-being as a number one priority. They need someone who they can feel comfortable going to talk to when he can’t be there to lend advice.

-And I know what some of you are still thinking. But what about Leo?! He’s just a kid too!

And, hey, I’m not arguing. He absolutely is, and in a perfect, fair world, he would continue to have an adult to teach and guide him- but their world is neither perfect nor fair.

All his life, he’s had two solid goals: Make sensei proud. Protect my brothers.

He’s seen as the most mature brother for a reason. He’s had to grow up in a world where finishing school and getting/keeping a job isn’t his main concern. For about three years, he’s spent every night making sure that his brothers stay alive. In fact, he starts doing it almost unconsciously- taking responsibility of his brothers and their missions without filling Splinter in, as shown in Annihilation: Earth! Part 1, when he’s laying out the plans, and Splinter straight up asks, “What is going on?” and Leo brushes him off, essentially just telling him that there’s trouble, but they have it covered.

Splinter is speechless for a moment, but then consents, telling Leo that he’ll be near the cheese phone if they need him.

This is a huge change if you really think about it, and done very subtley. They show us how their relationship has changed- Splinter no longer has the control to give the okay. Leo no longer feels like he needs Splinter guidance or permission. He’s grown up, and he’s leading with a firm hand, just as he was born to do.

And Leo also has experience raising his brothers- who do you think was acting sensei while they were in space?

Fugtoid was Donnie’s mentor, sure, but it was Leo who the brothers turned to when things got out of hand. It was Leo who had to talk sense into them, who always has the last word, who seemed on edge 24/7 as the season progressed, seeing the dangers space held and sending away his team when the evil space station was sent to go boom.

Whether fans like it or not, a leader, a sensei, is simply who Leo is.

There’s a reason he always gets heated and offended when he thinks his place is being challenged-

Leo thrives under that sense of control, and his brother thrive knowing that the control lies in someone else’s hands.

Now, with their father gone, it’ll lie in the hands of the brother that they trust with it most (whether Raph admits it or not) because he’s proven himself time and time again to be able to handle it.

Splinter isn’t stupid. He knows his boys. He knows exactly who Leo’s younger brothers are going to turn to after he’s gone for good this time, and he needs Leo to realize this too. Perhaps he hopes the burden will be easier to bear if it’s given slowly, instead of chucked out of nowhere.

Splinter was not purposefully ‘parentifying’ Leo. There’s a reason he waited so long. Maybe he was never going to say anything at all. Maybe he was struggling with the choice, and when Leo walked in to ask if he was okay, he made a last-minute decision.

Splinter knew it was going to happen. Leo was going to become head of the household, whether or not he said anything about it. It’s how their family dynamic always shapes out- there’s a reason the fans call Leo a mother hen!

It was always going to happen. So instead of standing by and letting fate play out, Splinter decided to interviene.

He wasn’t putting the burden on Leo’s shoulder. He was reassuring his son that he could handle it. He was giving advice on how to take care of his brothers. He was trying to help, not to hurt.

Obviously Leo is going to end up hurting. Obviously, it’s going to be hard. Obviously, it’s going to be a lot to adapt too. For Splinter’s sake- their father is going to die!

But his brothers will be there for him. He may be acting sensei, but we’re shown that they have his back. (Raph’s talk with Mikey on the rooftop is a very prominent piece of proof.)

Splinter knows that no one else can do the job better, and by voicing that he’s sensei, no one else should be able to take Leo’s family away from him. At the end of the day, as the eldest, he will be the one who bears the Hamato legacy (remember, Karai is busy shaping the Foot legacy anew), but unlike Yoshi, Leo will not be alone. He’ll have family and friends to back him up when things get difficult.

It’s a heavy title, but one that Leo is ready to carry.

Except… For one pretty major flaw. A flaw Splinter encouraged, and a flaw that he knows cannot stay.

The martyr complex.

That, is what I believe the “use your heart and not your head” phrase is meant to squash. And I believe with everything in me that it does. Leo’s life is no longer just a chess game. If this pawn doesn’t come home from a mission, his team suffers. His brothers suffer.

He is no pawn, and he can’t afford to see himself as one. He cannot afford to treat his life like it’s expendable. There’s more at stake then just the mission, and deep down in his heart, he knows that. He’s no longer just a leader. He is a father, and he has a family to live for.

And… Can I just add that Splinter’s not just up and abandoning him?

When Leo doesn’t know what to do next after his father is gone- Splinter is there. When it looks like he’s been defeated by the Shredder- Splinter is there. When they face their first real threat since his passing, and Leo is in the dojo struggling with what to do- Splinter is there.

“Leonardo, I know you feel the weight of leading your family, but remember, I am always with you.”

I mean- come on! Even in the afterlife, he’s looking over him!

He knows the burden on his son’s shoulders, and he’s come to help and warn to relieve it, if only a little.

Should he also have appeared to his others sons? ABSOLUTELY!

Could he…?

Well…

Don’t get me wrong- They’d have every right to be upset if they find out that Splinter appeared to Leo and not to them. But I’m sure there was a good reason- Leo mentions “meditating for weeks” after his father’s death at one point, so his spiritual strength, place in front of the altar, and need to speak to his father could have urged down “Mr. Higher Spiritual Plane”.

That’s why Donnie couldn’t see him when he walked in. This wasn’t a ghost doing his own thing, this was a spirit summoned down by Leo. When Donnie startled him, Leo lost concentration, and Splinter disappeared.

But, it’s still going to hurt, knowing he appeared to Leo and not them…

And should he have told his other sons that he was going to die?

….No. Just, no.

For one: He only hinted at the fact with Leo because he felt it was necessary to pass on certain information, to help him prepare for what’s coming. He didn’t give him specifics, no matter how much he begged.

If he told any of the brothers- Donnie would not rest until he pressed him for every ounce of information, Mikey would not have been able to handle the thought of something happening to Splinter, and Raph probably would have died that night on the rooftop trying to stop the prediction from becoming reality.

All of them would have wanted to stay with him after the warehouse fire, and I believe Splinter separated them for a reason.

As the youngest brothers, Donnie and Mikey needed to be shielded from memories that their analytical and photographic minds would not have been able to handle. It would have broken them to see their father die.

Leonardo would spent the rest of his days hating himself for being there and not preventing it. He’d drown in the guilt and fear- because if he couldn’t doing anything, how can he be certain that he’ll be able to keep his brothers safe? How can he be trusted with their lives when he couldn’t even save their father?

This way- Leo knows he’s been sent away, and he knows Splinter’s the reason that he couldn’t protect him. The blame isn’t as strong because he wasn’t there, and that was Splinter’s fault. It’s easier to manage when there’s another to pass on the blame.

Splinter didn’t let him protect him, and by doing so, protected Leo.

Now, Splinter’s sons would have put up a fuss or gotten suspicious if one of them didn’t go with him, so he made an educated choice.

Raphael is the strongest of the brothers. Out of all of them, he’s the most likely to mentally and physically survive the battle. He doesn’t let guilt swallow him like Leo does- he turns it into anger, and uses that anger to defend his family better next time. Out of all of them, Splinter hoped that Raph would be able to handle the memories, and the show basically tells us that he does- his maturity to accepting Leo as sensei was both shocking and relieving.

Now, I’m not saying every choice made here was inherently a good one. There’s a lot of choices made in Splinter’s life that are questionable- but every choice he makes is only in his sons’s best interest. At one point, Splinter was going to run the last of his clan. He was raised to prepare for war. His sensei could have groomed him with a leader mentality, and the notion to never put his life over the sake of his clan’s, since he was supposed to lead them one day.

He’s a single dad living in the sewers who doesn’t understand the internet and fears human contact- the only way he knows to raise his children are based off experiences with his own family, and his culture. Making Leo a martyr was a mistake, and he sees that now.

So to summarize:

No one was being made a parent. Leo is a verified mother hen, and he will lead. Period. It was always going to happen, and Splinter was trying to help lead the way. He probably would have given a lot more advice had his other children not interrupted.

Yes, he made a huge mistake years ago, but now he’s trying to fix that with a simply offering of advice. Follow your heart, not your mind, because at the end of the day, the heart will always lead you and your brothers home.

No, the entire family should not have known. They would have done everything in their power to stop what could not be prevented, and that could have gotten them killed. Splinter would never allow that. Their time was not up. They would not needlessly suffer because of him. Not his boys.

Just a side note: Taking care of his brothers might not be the worst thing for our mourning boy. Not only does it give him something to focus on, but, as an older sibling, I know it sometimes brings me comfort to comfort a young sibling. Maybe it’s some buried instinct in my being to keep them happy and healthy taking over, maybe it’s because I have a tiny bit of control in the moment, or maybe it’s a feeling of accomplishment that helps battle against the aching hurt eating away at me- but it helps. It really does.

It’s not like their infants, or little kids. His brother’s can fend for themselves, and they understand their place in the world much better than they did years ago. They can protect each other.

In reality, the only thing that will change is the hovering knowledge that someone is missing.

Holy chalupa, I just wrote an essay…

Back to the episode!

The rest of this isn’t too deep. So have some reactions:

“I don’t understand… You’re fine, father-”

🎶I can see what’s happenin’ here🎶

HE CALLED HIM DADDY IN A DOJO SETTING AFTER ASSURING HIM THAT HE WAS WELL!

POOR BABY BLUE KNOWS BUT IS STUCK IN DENIAL- 😭❤️‍🩹

“Is there something you’re not telling me?”

Leo, he is trying to tell you! And he could have! If not for literally MILLISECONDS after he asks, Mikey interrupting. Splinter might have clarified! He might have said more! Hinted how he knows! Said he was so proud! Given advice! Cleared the air! THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS-

Ah, these poor naive boys and their bad timing….

Okay, but like, how am I supposed to be annoyed at these faces. AND WHY IS RAPH OH-SO JOYOUSLY COPYING MIKEY- AND DONNIE WHAT IS THAT DEAD-EYED STARE- 🤣🤣🤣

YA’LL ARE MESSING UP MY EMOTIONS IN THIS FREAKING SCENE, YO

I’M TRYING TO BE SERIOUS IN THE MOMENT

BUT EVERY TIME THEY POP UP- 🤣

Okay, but is Splinter immediately taking the invitation to spend time with his sons because he knows that he doesn’t have much longer not the most wholesome thing ever?

He can’t continue this talk with the brothers present, and they’re clearly excited to go, so why not attend and make a few more bright memories before he’s gone?

Also, I deem it illegal for rock music to be this ominous-

I blame Leo for looking despondently after them and triggering bad things are about to happen emotions. Poor blue boi.

Anyway

Splinter is not a bad father. He is imperfect, but every choice he makes is for his sons’ good. They are his world. Their lives will come before his every time, even if that means giving heartbreaking advice before he has to be taken from them. He only wants what’s best for his family.

They are his sons. He is their papa.

And that’s all there is too it. 💚❤️💜💙🧡💚

I freaking love this show…

Thanks for reading!! I did my best to double-check everything that I wasn’t sure about, so that I could be as accurate as possible! Even if I didn’t change stubborn minds, I hope I gave you guys some things to think about!

Every opinion matters! Thanks for checking out mine!

[neat-crows]

For some reason I've seen a lot of people disliking the way Jessica Jones season 1 ends. The vibe I've seen is that it wasn't epic enough, it was underwhelming, and that it was too simple and fast and Killgrave would be too smart to fall for it. etc etc.

I think these takes miss the point though. This is the only way he could have gone out, BECAUSE it wasn't an attempt to outsmart him at all.

The whole point is that Killgrave wasn't an epic villain, he was a weird misogynistic little control freak that was obsessed with owning Jessica because he couldn't stand that she was her own person.

The whole season is a game of cat and mouse between them, and you can see just how smart both of them are - they are both equally powerful and intelligent, BUT killgrave literally didn’t need to be doing this at all! He could have left ANY time, he didn’t have to send Hope after her, he could have left before the house, or after he escaped, or after the nightclub, literally WHENEVER

His obsession with controlling Jessica was always his downfall

She was the executioner, but in the end he brought it all on himself

He didn’t get an epic ending because it’s not ABOUT him and because he didn’t need one. It was never about outsmarting or overpowering him, it was about his incessant need for control and Jessica making a decision.

And it works SO WELL not just because it makes good commentary, but also because it mirrors exactly how Killgrave tried to get her to bend to his will; both of them aimed for each other’s emotional weak point - but killgrave failed because he doesn’t actually know or understand Jessica at all, just the version of her he made up in his head and made her play act like a little doll for him

He thinks her weakness is a hero complex, because the first time they meet she’s saving Malcolm from some muggers and killgrave asks her if it felt good to beat up those men, she says yes, and when he asks why she says

“Because I helped someone”

And he’s such an inherently selfish person that to him that translates to a hero complex - He can’t imagine a person who just wants to save people, not to bolster their self worth or to in some way help theme selves. He’s spent his entire life only doing things because he wanted to, because it brought HIM satisfaction, that the idea that someone might willingly do Anything that’s not to make them feel better doesn’t even cross his mind.

And that’s why at the house he shows her the (curated) videos of his childhood, why he “respects” her wishes about not hurting the nosy neighbor, why he goes and saves that family with her, and is genuinely helpful. His tactic to get her to stay with him is to show her how his powers can be used for good, show her he’s also a person who can experience pain and love and joy, and then make her ‘realize’ if she stays with him she could make him a hero and good person. Because he thinks she will sacrifice herself for him and for society if he presents it as a way to atone and heal her guilt.

But Jessica refuses. She betrays him and takes her own route while knowing if she had given up all her autonomy she could have made him a good person and saved countless lives. (I don’t think this was ever actually achievable but she believed it was so the point stands)

Jessica jones has a lot of problems, but a hero complex isn’t one of them.

But Jessica jones DOES know his weakness, his real weakness, her. Controlling the only person who could defy him. And yes it is an obvious and see through plan - Killgrave even calls it out! But then in order to prove she’s faking what does he do? He assaults Trish - and when she continues following his orders he FULLY believes it and completely lets down his guard.

Why? It’s such an obvious trick! He’s supposed to be clever!!!! Well it worked so well because he clearly WANTED to believe it so bad (self admittedly), he was drunk on his own power, he wanted to believe his own strength and he wanted to own Jessica again. But also because again

He thinks Jessica has a hero complex

Her allowing this to happen to her friend ? Jessica jones would never do this! He knows her so well! She just Can’t Help but Help people! If she was faking her helplessness this would have broken her out of it! (Also there’s the whole level of the jealousy he has of Trish and the love Jessica and Trish share but that’s for another post)

And so he dies, small, unable to speak, not being told he’s loved, with a simple snapped neck from a cheap, unplanned ploy, that was thought up on the spot. Just as he deserved.

[devilsskettle]

i think everybody should think about how much of a privilege driving is before they judge people who don’t drive for being immature or whatever. like do you not realize that not everyone had a high school with driver’s ed or parents/older relatives who could teach them, not everyone had time to learn when they were younger, not everyone can afford a car and car insurance and any repairs that a car might need, not everyone lives in a place that is drivable anyway, and not everyone has good vision or a healthy enough brain and/or body to drive. and nobody needs to explain to you why they don’t drive! all you need to know is that the can’t, don’t want to, or it doesn’t make sense for them at this current time in their lives. fuck off!!!!! the response to inadequate public transportation isn’t that everyone should drive instead!!!!!! also everybody complains about bad drivers but people are incentivized to drive regardless of their actual driving ability because it’s shameful not to drive even if it’s a personal choice. and like maybe some people are just not self aware about their own driving abilities but some people just don’t understand that they are in control of a large machine that is dangerous if they don’t operate it properly and they have to be more responsible for the people they’re putting at risk because they don’t care enough to pay attention or follow the rules of the road or keep their tempers under control while they’re behind the wheel. anyway not everyone can or should drive, that’s all

[maxdibert]

OMG, I also love the idea of Severus having a partner. Whenever I think about a post-war Snape, I can’t help but imagine him forming a small family. It doesn’t have to involve a child—a kitten or a parrot could be the little one of the house, or even a guinea pig. Someone small to care for.

But beyond that, what kind of partner would Severus have? I’ve always thought that if he did have a partner, it would be a Muggle. He’s tired of the magical world and wants to step away for a moment, which would lead him to start moving within Muggle society, inevitably meeting a Muggle. Although this also creates a conflict for me, since the only Muggle in his life up until then was his abusive father. But then again, he also put up with a lot of crap from many wizards. I don’t know—it’s a topic with so many layers, depending on the time period in which the story takes place and how the culture of both societies is portrayed.

Right? Like, let the man live peacefully. Let him have a quiet life with a house and a garden full of magical plants where he can research his stuff, read his books, and not be bothered by magical world nonsense or political intrigues anymore. With kids or without, it doesn’t matter—just let the man be at peace; he’s been through enough already. Honestly, I’m fully behind this idea. Because Severus wouldn’t care about being considered a war hero—he’d just want to be left alone.

As for the rest, Severus is a guy with a lot of issues, but mostly with a terrible personality. He’s got a strong temper but is also very repressed, though he can’t fully control his temper because he’s emotionally volatile. While I think a post-war Severus would be calmer due to less pressure, I also believe his emotional scars wouldn’t magically heal, so he’d still be a jerk, a git, and generally difficult to deal with.

That’s why I always picture him with a partner who also has a strong temper and enough backbone to handle his tantrums without being intimidated. Someone who’d tell him to go to hell and calm down before talking to them when he explodes. Probably someone used to dealing with emotionally and mentally unstable people, or someone who wouldn’t take his outbursts seriously and would just ignore him until he chilled out. I also see him with someone extroverted because he’s extremely introverted and would never make the first move in a million years. The other person would have to be the one to approach him and make him feel safe about the decisions he makes. Severus is incredibly insecure when it comes to emotional matters and would probably think no one could ever like him, mainly because certain people spent his entire adolescence calling him ugly and greasy, and that stigma followed him throughout his teaching years. That, and deep down, he has awful self-esteem and probably sees himself as a failure in general. So, I can’t picture him making the first move—it’s very hard for me to imagine. That super-confident, Byronic hero version of Severus in some fics doesn’t fit with how I see him. He’s insecure until someone proves there’s nothing to fear.

He’d benefit most from a confident, extroverted partner with the guts to take the initiative. Someone who understands he has a lot of baggage but doesn’t fall into a maternal/paternal role, because your partner isn’t supposed to be your parent. Your partner is your partner; they can understand and support you but aren’t your therapist. Especially for someone like Severus, who needs to work on himself, not rely on others to patch up his wounds. They can help him heal, but he has to do the work.

I actually started writing a Severus fic with a Muggle!Reader because I love the dynamic and found it really interesting. It’s fascinating to explore, especially since he grew up in a Muggle environment and clearly knows some things about that world. But I’ve always imagined that he completely distanced himself from it once his parents died, and probably didn’t have much contact with the Muggle world after becoming a Hogwarts professor, except when strictly necessary. By the early 2000s, he’d be totally out of touch with many modern advancements.

I also like that dynamic because Severus is a well-known figure—he taught nearly twenty generations of students, which is insane given how small the magical community is. Practically half the population must have had him as their Potions professor. Then there’s the whole "he killed Dumbledore" thing, being a Death Eater, and later revealed as a double agent. In a post-war AU where he survives, he’d basically be a magical-world celebrity, sparking very divided opinions. And that would give him massive anxiety. Like, on top of surviving (when we all know he wanted to die because he was so fed up with life), he’d have to deal with that nonsense? I 100% see him being much more comfortable with someone who knows nothing about him, has no preconceived notions or judgments, and gives him a chance to just be himself—or explore a side of his personality he couldn’t show due to his spy role and all the deception he had to maintain.

There’s also an interesting theme of cognitive dissonance—having prejudices against Muggles (which all wizards have, even the good ones, because they treat Muggles like idiots) and then being confronted with the reality of what Muggles are capable of. Especially given that he was a Death Eater and deeply hated everything Muggle due to his experiences with his father and the poverty he endured as a child in that world.

So yeah, 100% your headcanon because it’s mine too! 😂