#like once i tried *talking* about my triggers with my dad and he acted like i was so unreasonable for being triggered by my abuse

[uncanny-tranny]

This whole "you're responsible for your triggers, nobody else >:(!" argument is weird to me because it's like... we know that ultimately, we are in charge of our trauma and our trauma responses, and I don't think everybody genuinely thinks that they have no agency over how their trauma can impact their life and the way they navigate it. So it's weird to me when peoples' first response is to remind us that our trauma is only up to us.

To me, it comes across like people are upset that traumatized people and people with triggers have boundaries related to their triggers and that it would be an asshole move to be like "fuck your boundaries! I do what I want around you!"

It is completely understandable if you're not able to accommodate somebody's triggers, but you don't have to put up a veneer of putting the blame on everybody else. It's okay to have conflicting needs, and that isn't really anybody's fault. Just move on, and don't engage with that person. There doesn't always have to be a Bad Guy in every situation.

[finnzhal]

@averagetoyakinnie asked.

Romantic male match up for Hazbin Hotel and Helluva boss !

FINN answered.

I love how detailed your informations are, the more i read it the more i see you as a wonderful person. This is my first match-up, i hope you love it <33 ! 31 headcanons in one request, holy.. but i'm afraid it's not the best.

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I will not be showing the deep informations about the people who asked for a match-up.

Reader : MALE!READER

Characters : HELLUVA BOSS - FIZZAROLLI / MOXXIE & HAZBIN HOTEL - ANGEL DUST

Mentions : fluff, a bit angsty, I tried

Links : Masterlinks + MATCH-UP for requesting !

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HELLUVA BOSS : FIZZAROLLI & MOXXIE !

FIZZAROLLI

I find you guys similar to each other and i thought why not put two silly people together–

He would be confused on what to call you as you have alot of names but he would be happy to call you by all of them, asking you if what preferred name you want to be called each day

When you first met, it was awkward but Fizzarolli can easily make up conversations to make you feel comfortable with him. Small talks turned into philosophical ft. Fizzarolli's out of pocket sarcastic jokes, you guys would be kicked out by how loud you guys were talking –

he would give you a stink eye whenever you use deeper words, asking for a simple word that have the same meaning

Rule breaking at night with him will be a blast, just make sure not to get caught. Both being curious about something will lead you both into trouble, You guys would have endless of entertaining stuff to do.

Your optimism brings him joy and reassured that he's being to be safe around you and/or with you at all times.

You being like a dad and caring, he knows how ready you are to take care of him. Just by a small bruise he's already over reacting just for you to take care of him, chance to get affection.

Late nights, having a self-doubting boyfriend because of his broken horns.. he needs his boyfriend to say sweet things to him, he doesn't need to act like his persona up stage whenever he's with you. He's a bit dependent on you.

Misuse of phrases can bring you both to silence, he too misuse alot. If you talk to him in different languages, he swore you're just cursing him because he doesn't understand them. Maybe you can teach him a thing or two

He loves how you dance, especially if you're just dancing for him. He asked you one time if you can do flexible types.. and leading you to a broken bone, realizing you're not like a sling toy like him

Seeing you have fun with kids (he adores kids) makes him so gleeful, He once learned sign language for his favourite child fan and you helping kids in need? Muahmuahmuah

Singing. You guys would sync randomly and it would sound so beautifully but if you have to record, it would have endless of laughters. Your laugh made him laugh even harder til you guys stop recording and redo it again. Hey why does the other video have you guys smothering kisses all over each other's faces? Weird.

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MOXXIE KNOLASTNAME

You guys would be like the father and Papa of the group, Him being concerned and you having a ready aid kit in your bag when something bad happens.

Hearing and listening to you talk about something you like for endless of hours while he's laying on your chest, hearing your heartbeat is voice makes him happy to know that you're here with him.

Your mischievous, curious, and rule breaker traits makes him worried.. only to have him get involve in your troubles in order to make you safe but if it's rumors and gossips, he would make you stay away from getting involved.

He's surprised to see how many stuff you got in your bag based on how small it is, why is there a shotgun?

He'll help you calm down whenever someone triggers you or when you get provoked, talking maturely and listening to both sides right after he comforted you.

He dislikes leaving you behind during missions knowing how you get deep and start questioning alot of things. Don't worry, he'll come right back with needing affection from you. Whenever there's a crowd he'll hold your hand, reminding you to squeeze them whenever you're uncomfortable

You get so confrontational towards Blitzo too many times when the imp gets too harsh om your boyfriend, Moxxie had to calmly stop multiple times. Leading you both in a private room to have your sweet reassurance

He's the type of boyfriend who writes songs, giving you homemade goods. Seeing you so happy with what he made makes him so glad to have you as his, smothering him with praises and kisses oh boy you got him wrapped around your finger.

You guys comfort each other during rough mental health days, giving him ice cream and is patient enough just for him to tell his feelings.. he couldn't be more happy and lucky than he already is. He cries how much you love and care of him

Celebrating each other's small successes is common in your relationship, Loving each other so comfortably. Anyone with you would be so lucky. He loves you so much.

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HAZBIN HOTEL : POLY!ANGEL DUST & ALASTOR

Chaotic boyfriend + chaotic boyfriend + a silent chaotic boyfriend trio. Iloveitbwshdhfjfn

with you three confessing to each other at the same time was something that other people in the hotel never expect. Having you three is like a warning sign that something is bound to happen, for good and for worse.. always trouble.

Talking with Alastor and saying deep words with Angel dust just in the middle confused as hell on what the words meant and making you both explain what it meant in order for him to know what's happening.

Being Angel dust's new make-up artist and just a bag because of you brining alot of stuff when Alastor can just summon it in one second –

They both love how helping and hardworking you are, it shows so much that you cared about others around you. You somehow influence them into being like that a little too, even more as for standing up for them. Makes them fall in love with you even more.

Seeing Angel Dust lock himself in his room and crying is common, You always come in just to comfort him. He is never afraid of telling you how he feels, while Alastor is there to give you both the physical affection.

Alastor buying you so much stuff in order to see your reactions, he gets so geedy whenever you look so happy about receiving them. You feeling comfortable and safe of course being loved is their top priority.

You guys would have endless of activities to do based on your hobbies whenever you three have free time. Especially Arts, Alastor would hang both of his lovers' art works up the wall even if people find them ugly.. don't worry those people are now missing.

Midnight baking is common, Angel Dust loves baking apparently and what he makes always taste so good. Alastor would deny but you can see him devouring it after.

Jokes are endless too, Good or Bad you guys always laughing and smiling to each other. One time you slipped while you guys were walking down stairs, One of them is laughing like a hyena before he slips too while the other is trying to hold it in as he helps you both.

the misuse of phrases you give them, Angel Dust always had something out of pocket to say. Most inappropriate or most random thing while Alastor tells Angel Dust to stop before joining in

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©Finnzhal. Do not steal someone else's works and claim it as yours.

[misc-obeyme]

Random suggestion about Lucifer or Beelzebub doing/saying something that triggers MC's daddy issues

And like they try to act cool and like nothing happened but in one point they break down

Hello, anon!

So okay, I kinda feel like there are many ways to interpret daddy issues and many ways in which those issues might be triggered. So I went with the idea that MC's father was just not good at saying nice things to them in general. And so when Lucifer says something that MC wishes their dad had been able to say to them, that's what triggered the break down. However, it could've gone the other way where Lucifer said something that was too much like something MC's dad would say. That just seemed more angsty and we all know I have a tendency to go with fluff, so here we are. Also I chose Lucifer because he just always feels like the dad character to me lol.

Anyway, thanks for the suggestion!

GN!MC x Lucifer

Warnings: some hurt because of the daddy issues, vague mentions of MC's father

Once again, Lord Diavolo decided it was time to put you in charge of some massive school event. You were busy for weeks, planning things, coordinating people, and generally just working hard. When the day finally came and went, you couldn't believe it was actually over. You were so tired, all you wanted to do was go home and rest.

There was a bit of a mess to clean up, but Lucifer noticed how tired you were. He told his brothers to clean up at RAD while he took you home. The minute one of them began to protest, he got an ominous look, which he followed up with a threat. Instantly, all of his brothers began to clean up.

Lucifer escorted you out of RAD and through the campus. You were doing your best, but it was obvious that you were overtired.

Lucifer offered you his arm and you took it gratefully, leaning on him as he kept you upright and moving.

With Lucifer's help, you reached the House of Lamentation, too tired to do much of anything aside from tumble into your bed.

The next day, you found Lucifer in his bedroom and thanked him for helping you get home.

"My brothers actually managed to clean up fairly well," Lucifer told you. "After all the work you've done for this event, I felt that you deserved the rest."

You sighed and sat down on the sofa. "I think it went well… right?"

Lucifer chuckled. "It did indeed. I'm proud of you, MC."

Those words pierced you right through the heart. You should have been happy to hear them and you were, but it also hurt. How many times had you wished to hear those words from your father? Words he could never manage to bring himself to say.

You covered up the pain by starting to talk to Lucifer about the event. He had plenty to say about it and the two of you managed to have a normal conversation for a little while.

And even though you were focused on what Lucifer was talking to you about, you couldn't stop thinking about how bittersweet it had been to hear him say he was proud of you.

"You should know that I have been watching you," Lucifer said. "I saw how hard you were working. I am truly impressed with the outcome. Well done, MC."

It was too much. Hearing him continue to say these things was just too much. You felt the tears filling your eyes, the heat of them as they fell down your cheeks. You turned away from Lucifer, unable to look at him.

Lucifer put his hand on your shoulder and turned you back toward him. He brushed away some of your tears with his fingers and frowned. "What is this? Are you still tired?"

You only shook your head, unwilling to speak. If you tried, you'd only cry harder.

To your surprise, Lucifer didn't press you on it. He simply put his arms around you, holding you close to his chest. You returned his embrace, burying your face against him, gulping in heaving breaths as you tried to slow your tears.

One day maybe you would explain to Lucifer why his words had such an effect on you. For now, you simply let him comfort you, knowing you were safe in his arms.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[thecluelessdoctor]

a review of Gravity falls from someone who had never seen it before.

Alright so I've meant to make this post for a while but then I got... sidetracked *glances at my fucking au* ANYWAY

I'm basically unbias to the show, due to the fact I have no nostalgia for it. Ill only be talking about the show it's self for the main review.

Anyway, now that that's out of the way, let's talk about Gravity Falls.

Oh yeah, and spoilers for gravity falls. Im sure most of you have seen it but- yk just in case.

I watched the show 2 times in a row. One time mostly just for me, and the other time with my little sisters. Somehow both times made me cry it's fine.

Let's get my praises out of the way first before I begin to criticize the show (yes, I do have things to say)

Number one, the actual mystery. Genuinely so fucking good. Like going in I already knew Ford existed, and I knew Bill existed, but that was it. And I thought the mystery wouldn't be a mystery to me due to this but I was WRONG. BRO WHEN STAN FUCKING PULLED UP WITH THE PORTAL I WAS F L A B B E R G A S T E D. I WAS BAFFLED. OR OR- FIDDLEFORD NOT JUST BEING A CRAZY OLD GUY BUT INFACT A ONCE GREAT SCIENCIST THAT TRIED TO DESTROY HIS MIND- it was insane.. I only had the parts, but I didn't know how they fell into place, and it was BEAUTIFUL. Hell the mystery even had my little sister theorizing.

Stan, Dipper, and Mabel's arcs. Say what you will but I think they were done perfectly. Especially Stan's. You don't even realize how he has grown as a character until the end and it's AMAZING. Dippers arc of learning how to not grow up so fast (relatable ...) and Mabel's arc of accepting that she will grow up (ALSO RELATABLE?)

The character designs. We all know, I eat up a good design. And these guys are no exception. I love how Mabel has a different sweater at least every episode, very fun. Dippers design screams nerdy kid I would bully or be friends with in 6th grade, and Stan is.. yeah I really like Stan okay. He's perfect. His design reflects his eccentric nature really well. Also Shriner fez. We need more characters with a Shriner fez. (Fun fact: I didn't know what those hats were called until watching this show.) bill is a very simple design but I love it.

Also, I love alot of the foreshadowing the show does, even if at times unintentionally. Such as with Stan and how he sadly goes out. Every representation ends up being destroyed in some way.

I also really like Ford as a character. Idk if it was intentional, but he portrays a lot of narcissists rather accurately. I live in a family of narcissist, and a lot of them act directly like Ford (especially my dad and my ex-step- grandpa) but Ford I feel like is a good representation of how a lot of people, especially narcissists, actually change. Yes, shockingly, they can. Usually being the one to pull the trigger on something they love tends to do something. Not all the time but it happens. Idk.

Also I feel like I need to talk about Mabel and Dipper more. Starting with Mabel. Mabel is fun. She reminds me of my sister, both good and bad. Though I don't understand the amount of Mabel hate there is. Like seriously she's just a 12 year old kid. I was the same way when I was 12. I was a trashy kid. Hell, I'm a trashy teen!!! And Dipper? Yeah he's dipper. Shockingly I don't have much to say about him other than the fact he reminds me way to much of the guy friends I've had since 3rd grade lmfao.

Next is the animation. The animation is pretty consistently good, I like it. Especially in some of the more dramatic scenes. All of not what he seems, a tale of two Stan's, and weirdmeddon (I can't spell) are especially well animated.

There's a lot more i wanna say, but those are the major things.

From now until when I say, it's gonna me my personal criticisms of the show. Course I am no professional, I'm literally [AGE REDACTED] minor. So yeah.

Number one: the timeline. Oh my god the timeline. As a fun thing to do on the side, I tried to sort out the timeline- IT TURNED INTO 2 HOURS OF ME SITTING THERE, PIECING THIS SHIT TOGETHER. it's not as back as some fandoms (looking at your FNaF) but STILL

The lack of Ford. I wish Ford has been introduced earlier in season two, or they had a few more filler episodes involving him as a center (similar to the episode D, D, and more D.)

The ignoring of the fact that Pacifica is borderline abused??? She's AFRAID of her parents??? She flinches at the bell??? Like what the fuck-

The lack of in show development between Bill and ford. I kinda wish it showed a bit more of their relationship in show.

Those are all my major criticisms. I don't have anything other than those that aren't more personal tastes than anything.

But ultimately, I fell in love with this show from the get go. It was the weirdest thing I'd watched in a while, and I loved it, hated it, and cried because of it. Truly on of my favorite shows I've ever watched, and I really wish I knew what it was when it was in its hay day, because truly that would have been great. However in 2012 I was only like- 3-6 so- yeah

Very much a ten outta ten show, and if you somehow haven't watched it, please do.

[lokisprettygirl]

Lose me to Love you (Loki x Female Reader) (AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 22 here / Series Masterlist

Chapter 23

Summary: Loki isn't the only one fighting with his inner demons. People from your past continues to turn up.

Trigger Warning: 18+, Description of rape and assault, panic attack, violence against women, Extreme dark themes, Sexual abuse, physical abuse, public sex, Rough violent sex, 18+, Steamy stuff, age difference ,Rough language, mention of suicide, talk of virginity and slut shaming, manipulative behaviour, mention of trauma, smut, toxic relationship between main characters. Dark themes, cult stuff

His palms felt clammy, he had been standing outside the orphanage for half an hour and you were taking your own sweet time coming out, as he noticed a girl approaching him he was slightly surprised. For some reason he kept picturing the eleven year old sweet girl that he knew instead of this fully matured grown woman that he probably would have fucked if he met her at the club. Just 18, he had to remind himself that you were barely an adult.

"Hiiii" you smiled at him and he snapped out of his thoughts.

"Y/n"

"Lokii..how are you?" You were the reason he was even alive today, for a moment the feeling overwhelmed him so he grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to him to hug you.

"Thank you darling, thank you..I'll take care of you I promise" the gratitude slipped past his lips and as he felt your arms around his waist his nerves went calm for a moment.

"So it was your birthday a few days ago, want to do something?" You looked at him as he said that.

"Not really..Where are we going?"

"Ummm my place" you hummed as he answered.

He drove you to his house and you looked around as you both entered the studio apartment he was renting in Brooklyn. It wasn't enough for you two but that's all he was able to do at the time, the divorce settlement has ruined him even further.

"It's cozy, I like it" you placed your backpack down on the couch and smiled again.

"Well you can take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch, food is in the fridge, here's the..umm some money..you can go grocery shopping or get whatever you need..the girl stuff and all" he passed you a few dollar bills so you took it from him, everything was awkward with you two and he felt it in his bones.

"What do you do for work?" You asked him and he sighed

"A small gig at a club"

"What type of gig, are you a bartender?" He combed his hair with his fingers as he tried to avoid your constant gaze.

"A bouncer..you ask too many questions" The job always paid okay, that's also how he met Jolene as well, she frequented the club he worked at and she finally asked him out one fine day. When they got married she got him a position at her accounting firm but he was fired while he was resting after the wrist slitting incident. Now he wished that he never ever met her at all.

"That's hot..i like bouncers..they're soo strong and so manly" his brows furrowed as you said that, how the hell you had even been in a nightclub? He wasn't sure if he wanted to know that.

"Well I have to go meet someone..when I come back we can discuss your uhhhh future plans…if you want to get into college or–"

"No discussion required..I want to become an actor..we should probably move to LA" you mumbled nonchalantly before you proceeded to raid the fridge that was mostly empty.

"Excuse me?" He looked at you all perplexed, getting you into acting business didn't seem feasible to him.

"LA? Los angeles?"

"I know where LA is ..are you serious about this acting thing?"

"As serious as Joker was before his dad carved his face" he looked at you all confused again as you quipped "Really??never?? Oh my god we are definitely going to watch the dark knight once you come back.. Don't worry we don't need to watch the first part.. honestly 60 percent of people skipped the first part and went straight to TDK and somehow it makes perfect sense ..it's like you're not even missing anything important or worth knowing…you know…"

Your voice faded in the background as you continued to speak gibberish to him. However your sweet voice also filled his empty sad apartment and he liked that. Alot. That was the moment he knew that life wouldn't be the same from then, he knew he'd have to make several adjustments and since he had taken the responsibility of taking care of you, your dreams and aspirations became his as well.

His eyes opened to your shaking form and he absolutely abhorred that, every time you had a nightmare he felt afraid that you'd slip past his fingers like that one horrible time. It had happened a few days prior to your mother's anniversary during the second year of living together. He never talks about it because you don't seem to have any recollection of those two days, at first he wasn't sure how to deal with you, how to bring you back but on the third night you went to sleep and came back absolutely normal. You had a bad dream last night too but it was about Thor and he just knew this one was different from that. He knew you'd probably not remember this one because it involved your mother.

"Hey sweetheart" he turned the lamp on to see you properly. His heart rendered as he noticed the tears running down the corner of your eyes,

"Loloooo …mommmyy .. I want mommmy" you sniffled, your voice reminded him of that little girl he had left at the orphanage.

"I know baby..it's okay.. open your eyes..I'm here..im here" he shook your body a little and you woke up gasping for air,

"Lolooo mommyyy ..I need mommmy"

"Shhhhhh baby.. everything is okay..you're safe" he mumbled softly as he wiped your tears, his lips lingered over your forehead before he wrapped his arm around your waist and made you sit up so he could embrace you, you felt safe that way.

He leaned against the headboard while you clutched onto him and cried your heart out.

"I'm here baby, my sweet girl, come back to me, I'm right here, you have me i promise" he mumbled mindlessly

"Don't send me away ..they sent me away every time I had a nightmare..they sent me to that place I hated" you sniffled between your words and his eyes welled up.

"You have me okay? I got you baby, I got you i promise" you hugged him as tightly as you could and your foggy grief stricken mind lulled you to sleep but he couldn't sleep that night, next morning as usual you didn't remember the outburst like always, a few years ago he had asked Steve about that place you kept talking about after such nightmares and Steve told him that it was a psychiatric hospital where they sent you whenever you relapsed or whenever you showed the signs of dissociative Amnesia.

"What are you making?" You hugged him from behind so he smiled.

"Guess" you opened the lid of the pot and all the excitement disappeared

"Porridge" your face scrunched in disgust and it made him smile.

"Well you wanted to eat healthy remember"

"Just take me to the gym again, it's been months" you groaned as you moved around the kitchen to make tea

"I will.. as soon as he's caught" You hummed as he said that "Are you feeling okay sweetheart?" He asked you softly and you shrugged

"Yeahh why?" He sighed as you said that. He wanted to ignore it like he had done before but after last night and the way you were trying to help him cope with his trauma, it had made him reflect upon your own situation, you didn't get away unscathed from his father's abuse, sure he wasn't able to harm you irrevocably but the damage was already done when he had hurt your mother.

"Because of the nightmare? Do you remember what you saw?" He asked you and you stopped doing whatever you were doing.

"Nooo.. i .. I didn't have a nightmare last night..it was the night before remember?" You walked over to him to kiss him on the cheek and he hummed in response. He can't just dump it on you, that would only make the matters worse, he had to find a way to talk to you about this.

"Take me shopping today daddy, it's my birthday in a few days"

He picked you up and sat you down on the counter as you said that. Your birthday. He promised to fuck you senselessly on your birthday but the approaching date had him feeling someway, he couldn't decide if it was a good feeling or not, a part of him wanted to ravish you and enjoy every second of it. The other part though? that bastard wanted to keep himself away from your precious body as far as possible, he didn't deserve to fuck a girl like you, he was one of the reasons why girls like you lost their lives, he was the reason why their dreams got broken so how come he got so blessed as to have someone as pure as you saving herself for him.

"What else would you like to do? A party perhaps?" You thought about it as he said that.

"Or we could just spend it together..just the two of us" you answered him while your fingers played with his chest hairs so he kissed you.

"Aren't you bored of seeing my face all the time?" He chuckled after speaking.

"Ask that girl who spent 7 years without seeing this angelic face. She'd always say no" his eyes softened as you said that.

"For this to happen it had to be that way"

"For what to happen?" You asked him confused so he cupped your cheeks.

"For this to happen.." he kissed you passionately, it wasn't a touch and go type of kiss either, his tongue slid into your mouth so you sucked on it, he tasted like peppermint. Delicious "It had to be that way" you inhaled sharply as he finally decided to allow you to breathe.

"Does it bother you that I was into you way before you were into me?" You asked him

"You were just a child sweetheart, you didn't even know what you felt"

"Well I knew I wanted to kiss you, I was ten when I knew that I wanted to kiss you and –"

"Shut Up.. that's inappropriate as hell" He pressed his thumb onto your lips but his digit couldn't really stop you from smiling or talking even

"It's just the truth, and to this date you are still the prettiest boy i have ever seen in my life"

"Well i'm no boy now my darling" he wrapped your legs around his waist to pull you closer to him and his mouth travelled down from your lips, you moaned as he sucked the soft skin of your neck.

"Some parts of you is still the boy i met"

"Uhhhuh like what?" He chuckled condescendingly so you held his cheeks and kissed him lovingly, as lovingly as you could.

"Like these eyes, still as gentle as I remember, mommy always told me that you could judge a person fairly well by the look in their eyes, you have the kindest eyes lolo" his eyes teared up as you said that. He thought you'd give him a break after last night but you were hell bent on coddling him like a baby.

"Well your mommy wasn't really the best judge of character"

"Take it back" your voice broke because the meanie in him came out again so he kissed you again.

"I'm sorry baby" he murmured against your mouth and you almost melted into a puddle because of how tender he seemed at the moment "You're forgiven" He smiled as you whispered. He wondered how badly he'd have to hurt you to make him unforgivable in your eyes because no matter what he did or said you always forgave him and that too pretty easily.

"What else?" He asked you and it confused you for a moment before it finally dawned upon you. He wanted to know more about those boyish parts of him.

"The smile, still the same, everytime I felt scared at the orphanage I would just think about you and your smiling face, that calmed me down immediately" he kissed you again instead of responding with words "And your voice hasn't changed in the slightest either"

"You are such a sentimental little girl"

"Is that bad?"

"Not at all, I just don't want to disappoint you with my stoicism" a smile graced your features at the blatant lie.

"You're pretty sentimental yourself mister "

"No I'm not"

"Yes you are"

"Shhhhhh"

After force feeding you that unsavory porridge he took you shopping like you had asked him to, you also had to be at an audition tomorrow, you needed to find work or you knew he'd try and find other works, like that thing he used to do at the club, you hated not having him at home all night.

You picked a dress but you didn't want him to see it just yet. You both spent the whole day out, it was a peaceful day but it didn't stay that way. Ofcourse it didn't. It came crashing down on you.

Your soul almost evaporated as someone ran in front of the car, you both watched a woman lying unconscious in the middle of the deserted road and you wondered if she was alive.

"Is she…oh gooddd" you mumbled under your breath so he looked at you

"Stay in here okay?" He asked you so you nodded. She had long blonde hair so it wasn't Jolene, you hated that it was your first thought. Your worries didn't cease there because as Loki rolled her over, it was someone you knew, someone you both knew very well. He picked her up hurriedly before you two could get caught by a passerby or something. After laying her down on the backseat, he quickly got in and drove towards the apartment as fast as he could.

"Ummm is that uhh--"

"Yeah and I don't trust the bitch so we are going to take her home and you're going to help me tie her up as securely as we can okay?" You looked at him all perplexed and he glared at you so you nodded.

The cops on the patrol tonight asked him about her so he lied that she was a friend that had gotten drunk out of her mind. As soon as you all reached the apartment you helped him tie her up onto a chair.

"Lokiii what are we doing..is she even alive?" you asked him nervously so he walked towards you and grabbed you by the shoulders.

"She's alive and breathing, it makes no fucking sense that she'd end up right in front of our car of all people"

"We should tell Steve "

"No not after Thor's situation, I'm already on his radar"

"But what if this brings us more trouble?" he wiped the sweat beads from his forehead as you said that. Ever since his bastard father has escaped your lives has turned into a rollercoaster that just doesn't seem to stop rolling.

You both waited for her to come back to consciousness and when she did she started to struggle against the binds almost immediately.

"Why the fuck are you here?" He asked her as he pulled up a chair right in front of her, you dragged another chair from the kitchen table, it almost looked comical as you tried to be as quiet as you could but the situation wasn't funny at all.

"Lokiii? Y/n?"

Well no memory loss it seems.

"Why the fuck You have me tied up Loki? I know you enjoyed that one time I had--" your eyes widened as she said that. He fucked her all tied up? Again you hated how your mind couldn't move past the jealousy

"Shut up.. shut the fuck up okay? Why are you here..answer me" he glared at her and she looked at you, she then gave you the sickly sweet smile that you remembered really well.

"Oh look at you now, turned yourself into Loki's pretty little girl huh?? Dreams do come true i guess"

"Sister Natasha–" Loki glared at you so you corrected yourself

"Natasha..what are you doing?"

"I don't understand, do you guys like own LA now that I can't be here?" She chuckled and Loki's teeth gritted in anger, he was so close to doing something awful

"Are you here to do his bidding again? He sent you.. didn't he?" she started laughing as he said that.

"You are still so naive loki. You know if he wanted to be here and eat her heart he'd be here, he won't need me" He stood up and all of a sudden there was a smacking sound that you heard, you looked at him shocked as he slapped her. Her lower lip split open at the force he used, your eyes teared up because you weren't expecting him to just go off like that, he never lost his control like that with you. He wasn't like that. Not with women. Not outside of consensual bedroom shenanigans.

"Ohhh I have missed that" her reaction wasn't shocking though, you knew they fucked, you just didn't know they indulged into this, though you should have guessed considering the sexual history of the cult.

"Don't make me kill you Natasha, just tell me the truth, for once in your life, tell me the truth"

He heard you sniffling so he turned his head to the side to look at you, the look on your face was enough to kill whatever shred of self esteem he still had left in him.

He walked towards you and grabbed your arm to take you to the bedroom.

"Stay here" he warned you before he turned around to leave

"This is not you loki" his eyes teared up as you said that.

"That's me sweetheart, that's the real me..still want to believe that bullshit you had made up in your head about me? This is me..the monster I keep warning you about"

You shook your head as he said that, you wanted to stop him and hold him, tell him that he wasn't a monster but he didn't give you a chance, just an hour later cops raided the house, they were tipped off. Natasha told them that he had kidnapped her, she told them that you had no involvement in all of this, you begged Steve to not believe her, you asked him to not take him away from you but he said that he was helpless. All the evidence was against him.

They wanted to take him away to lock him behind the bars, he was to be questioned later on about his motives.

And that's when you were finally able to understand why he went crazy on her, he knew her. You didn't.

You didn't know that she was as rotten as Odin. He wasn't wrong, she was there to do his bidding and she got what she needed. You without him by your side.

@annoyingsweetsstranger @whylokiissocute @loki-s-wife @fraoid3 @siggytumbles @crzyplantladyvibes @stupidthoughtsinwriting @vickie5446 @wheredafandomat @mcufan72 @xxntiimulti @loz-3 @dishahaldar @mcdesij @scram1326 @elthreetimes @army24--7 @sinsandguilt @holotacopeely @huntress-artemiss @blog-the-lilly @ultraviolencexxss @disneyismyworldforever @bunny24sstuff @kats72 @somewiseguy @asgardianprincess1050 @multifandom-world8 @loki-laufeyson-1054 @daddylokisqueen @lulubelle814 @itsybitchylittlewitchy @rogerrhqpsody @praq123

🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

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[nerves-nebula]

I gotta say it’s definitely a Choice decision to have the brothers come across THAT memory immediately after the last memory of Leo acting like a major dickwad to Donnie

The absolute perfect storm for hella mixed up emotions that’s for sure

tho I gotta ask do at least ONE of the turtles attempt to immediately kill or attack Splinter as soon as the memory debacle is over? I know Leo of course would stop them, poor kid is still unfortunately very attached the Bastard but like still? would the others make that attempt? or at least trigger “The Reason Why You Suck” speech we’ve all been waiting for?

i’ll be honest i just really want see the boys finally knock their shitty shitty dad down a couple hundred pegs, push him off his high horse for once even if nothing meaningful changes afterwards between their dynamics

oversharing a little but many many times i’ve had screaming matches with my family and sometimes it would feel oddly cathartic because occasionally i would actually feel somewhat listened too afterwards?? and then would actually get better and be peaceful???

unfortunately that peace was almost always short lived and then everyone (i’m not above admitting that I include myself in that statement) would regress back to the same old shitty habits that makes living together so hellish for us all (

yea i just think its fun to hit em with the one two punch of Leo Being The Worst and Leo Being Abused. Just to really hammer home how much this situation SUCKS lmao.

I don't think anyone of them would try to kill Splinter, or even attack him tbh. but I can see Mikey blowing up at Splinter over supposedly unrelated shit afterwards. Like, he's mad at Splinter and he's mad at everyone but they all just kind of unspokenly agreed to not talk about it. And it'd be unfair and cruel to leo (no matter how shitty leo is) to bring it up.

Mikey is the most confrontational when it comes to Splinter. Raph is the one who tries to reason with their dad, but they're all pretty scared of him, so Mikey is really the only one who, like, SCREAMS at him. and this memory adventure shit would probably make Mikey furious at him for weeks afterwards so. it'd be unpleasant hah.

honestly tho it'd be a bit hard for me to write that cause im more of the Shut Down and Wait For It To Be Over because I'm Scared Of Yelling type of person. my siblings did the screaming matches. At most I would have a slightly heated/frustrated argument.

[pecanwriter]

Hired Help (WG story) part 4

Themes: near-immobility, non-sexual weight mentions

Words: 1703

Part: 4/?

“This was a terrible idea,” Marty muttered under his breath. He was wearing a shirt that used to be very flattering on him, but apparently, that was only true up until ten pounds ago or so. Hoping he wouldn’t pop any buttons, he got out of the car and walked up to the door. The house was small and very far from the city centre, but Marty had to admit it was quite charming. The presence of kids was evident by the toys scattered on the porch and a swing he could see in the yard.

He rang the bell and that immediately triggered shouting, thumping of several sets of feet and a dog barking inside. The door opened and he looked down at a brown-haired girl staring up at him with blue eyes identical to his own. 

“Who are you?” She asked, with much more sass than Marty would expect from a five-year-old. 

“That’s your uncle, Sarah.” Hadley appeared at the door looking ridiculously in shape and somehow even better in the “suburban dad” clothes than his “freelance music producer” swagger he used to wear when they were still speaking to each other. “What have I told you about opening the doors by yourself?” Hadley scowled at his tiny daughter. 

“That I shouldn’t do it!” She sing-sang, already running away. Soon, they heard the backyard door open and slam shut again. 

Hadley gave in to a tortured sigh and then he looked at Marty with an expression Marty couldn’t decipher. 

“Well, come on in.” 

Marty followed his brother into the house. They walked past a wall of family photos and Marty tried not to feel bitter about the fact he wasn’t in any of them. Hadley led him into the kitchen where they could see the kids playing in the yard through the window. He sat down at the table and soon Hadley joined him with two cans of Orangina. That small glimpse of familiarity threatened to melt the bitterness in his throat away. Somehow seeing those two cans reminded him that they were brothers with an almost painful clarity. 

“Angie is out with her girlfriends so we have time to talk until the kids get bored and then I’ll probably have to take care of lunch.” 

Marty said nothing, twisting his can around on the table.

“I was happy to hear from you, bro.” Hadley continued. 

“Really?” Marty couldn’t help making a face. 

“Of course, we haven’t talked in five years!” 

“And who’s fault is that?” Marty crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair. His gut strained against his shirt and he leaned back forward to conceal it, at least somewhat. 

“Huh?” Hadley looked genuinely flabbergasted “What the fuck are you talking about? YOU stormed out, YOU told me to stop calling you, YOU cut me out!” 

“Because your reply to me coming out was, and I quote” Marty did the air bunnies and gave a very inaccurate impression of his brother “What the actual fuck, man?!”

“Is that…” Hadley’s brows flew up, and for a moment he seemed to fumble for anything to say “Is that why you fucking stopped talking to me for five years?! What the fuck, Marlow?”

“Stop calling me that, you know I hate it. Can’t you accept anything about me? Not the fact that I’m gay, not even the fact I prefer to be called Marty?” 

“I’m calling you that because you’re acting like an idiot. I can’t believe this…” Hadley rubbed his face “Bro, I was just shocked, I wasn’t expecting you to come out. I genuinely had no idea you were gay. Of course, of-fucking-course I accept you, what the fuck are you talking about?! I don’t have a problem with gay people, not to mention my own fucking brother! Marty, for fuck’s sake, I was just caught by surprise, if you’d pick up the phone from me at least ONCE and let me explain you’d fucking know that!” Hadley got up and went to the sink, turning his back to Marty. He could only see his brother’s hands clenched into fists so hard his knuckles were completely white. 

Marty stared at his brother’s muscular back. Was Hadley a really good liar or was he telling the truth? Marty could see his brother’s reaction, he could see how furious he was, but how could that be true? 

“What? You’re just saying that because I’m here.” 

“Seriously?!” Hadley turned around “Well, why don’t you go to your spam messages folder.” 

“What?”

“I’m guessing you had me blocked before you called me on Thursday.”

“Well…”

“If you unblocked me, you can still see all the messages I sent you in the spam folder.” 

Still sceptical, Marty took out his phone. 

He opened the spam folder and came face to face with five years of texts. Came face to face with his own stupidity. The last few messages were just how are yous, hope you okays and happy holidays, but the older ones were exactly what Hadley claimed they were.

Marty threw his phone to the table, it scattered and fell to the floor on the other side of the kitchen. He rubbed his face, completely unable to sift through the mess of roiling emotions hitting him from every direction. 

Hadley’s chair creaked as he sat back down.

“You always do this, bro, you jump to conclusions and people get hurt.” 

“I’m…” Marty dropped his hands into his lap, shame and anger burning a hole in his chest. “I’m sorry, Hare.”

It took Marty an embarrassingly long time to look up, but when he did he came face to face with his big brother giving him a tired, but genuine smile. 

The backyard door opened and a gang of children fell in accompanied by a cocker spaniel. 

“Daddy, I’m hungry!”

“Dad, can we have pancakes?!”

“Dad, I want blueberries!” 

“Alright, everyone!” Hadley masterfully gathered up all four kids and redirected them to what Marty presumed was the bathroom. “Wash your hands first and let’s use our inside voices, okay?” 

When the kids disappeared into the bathroom, Hadley turned back to Marty. 

“Wanna stay for lunch?” He asked, the tired smile still on his face. 

“I’d… I’d really like that.” Marty said, returning the smile. It felt shaky, but he didn’t remember the last time his smile was this genuine.

*

Marty huffed and puffed fighting against the familiar outside staircase. He was pretty sure the 210lb he saw last time he stepped on a scale had transformed into at least 220lb recently, but at this point, he was too embarrassed to even check. 

He gave himself a moment to catch his breath before ringing the doorbell. 

It took the usual five minutes for the floor inside the flat to start creaking and soon Donovan’s sweaty face appeared in the crack. His eyes widened in surprise and he shuffled back to open the door all the way. 

“Marty! I didn’t think I would see you again…”

“Hi, I, uh… Can I come in? I think we need to talk…” He shifted from one foot to the other, feeling his stomach tighten. 

“Sure, come on in…” 

Marty grimaced seeing how Donovan struggled to turn around in his tiny hall. He was still slightly out of breath after climbing the stairs and he was just 200lb, Donovan was at least three times that, if not more. Every move had to be so much effort for him… Marty trailed after Donovan in awkward silence as he waddled towards the living room breathing loudly and resting heavily on his cane. His body jiggled and shook and there was a slight sweat stain on his back. Marty’s face was starting to feel hot while his palms felt cold and sweaty. This man was clearly in pain, if Marty was that big he would probably just accept being bedbound, he wouldn’t even try moving around. But Donovan, despite being barely able to move and having to suffer the humiliation of hiring someone to help him with basic care, was still friendly and accepting despite Marty clearly judging him and acting like a dick. 

By the time Donovan managed to waddle up to the couch and fell into it with a huff Marty was so nervous and embarrassed he barely remembered what he planned on saying. 

“Sit down, don’t just stand there” Donovan waved him into the armchair. 

“I, uh…” Marty fidgeted. 

“Are you okay? You’re pale.” Donovan’s brows furrowed. 

“I…” Marty squared his shoulders and started talking“I’m sorry, Donovan. I was unprofessional and I was a complete asshole to you. I had no right to behave the way I did. You don’t deserve to be treated the way I treated you just because of your size, regardless of the reason behind it.”

“Damn… Thank you, for apologising, I appreciate it. But you were not that bad, I’m used to people being dicks about my size…” Donovan looked away, straightening his shirt over his massive belly. Marty stood up, suddenly feeling anger stirring in him again. 

“No! I was that bad, I was terrible to you. You shouldn’t just accept that!”

Donovan looked up at him, slightly startled. 

“Okay, yeah, you were an asshole to me. It wasn’t cool.” 

“No, it wasn’t cool. I’m really, really sorry, Donovan.” Marty rummaged through his bag and pulled out a poorly wrapped tube. “Here, this is for you.” 

“You got me a present…?” Donovan looked genuinely confused. He took the package and ripped the paper off. His brow furrowed again. “A reusable water bottle?” “I… Well, I know this hiking trail that’s always completely empty, and I thought… I thought that maybe we could go there together sometime. Of course not to walk the trail, I think we’d both die, just to move around a little bit. If you wanted.” 

Donovan’s eyes were wide and Marty couldn’t decipher his expression. 

“You would do that…? Why? Why would you care? We’re not friends.” 

“We could be…?” Marty shifted from foot to foot again, his face feeling hot “I think you… I think you need a friend. And I think I need one too.” 

He smiled hesitantly and felt infinite relief when Donovan’s face reflected the same sentiment.

[argentangelhelps]

MAISIE PETERS STARTERS

starter prompts from maisie peters’ discography

“i still haven’t got my driver’s license” “and i am sorry to make it about myself again but you signed up for this“ “you signed up for this” “please don’t give up on me yet” “i know i’ll get better, i’m just not better yet.” “i only drink to get drunk.” “nothing like i thought would happen happened” “it didn't work like i thought it would” "i resent you just a little if i'm honest” “you swore you would do better this time” “if i'm being frank, i want a "sorry" but i'll settle for a handshake” “not friends, no, we're somewhere in between” “'cause you're awful and i miss you and i killed you in my dream last night, even then you didn't care” “i should be the one you’re dancing with” “i was gonna act surprised even though i knew you wanted me” “maybe if i'd reined it in you wouldn't wanna kiss somebody else” “you don't owe me anything”
“i'm just gonna walk home by myself” “you look right through me every time you walk by” “‘cause if you don’t want me then you’re not the one” “guess i misunderstood, i thought you liked me too” “she could tell i was so obsessed with you” “hope i don’t wake my dad up” “well, tell me where i went wrong” “and you only kissed me once, nothing changed at all” “i could see a bloodbath coming” “everyone else can have him but i won’t” “loving you’s not fair” “you kept me as your favorite secret” “it’s funny how everybody but me knows” “you’re losing your mind” “you wanna talk? not ideal.” “i feel like you feel nothing, that’s fine.” “baby, who has two phones?” “you don't want me at all, but you don't want me to fall for anyone” “i heard you had a lot of therapy when you were seventeen for your anger issues” “if i had a pound/dollar for every hole punched in a wall i’d be a rich girl/boy” “it got progressively harder to miss you” “you're a serial cheater” “when i told you you were funny i lied” “i can tell that you've never been hugged” “if i was the last girl on earth, you'd still be weighing up your options” “you're obsessed with your father” “red flag and a half” “you're kinda sociopathic” “i wasn't broken till you tried to fix me” “i was yours until you let me down” “you said this is something that we both need” “you left me hollow” “are you happy now?” “we never struggled for a conversation till you couldn't find the words to say” “now you’re somebody else with somebody you swore was not your type” “i just miss my friend” “how do you think i’m dealing?” “i'll burn this house, i mean it” “well, what does that make me then?” “i'm your villain” “whole town's gonna hear how you messed me up” “oh, i'm out my mind and i said some shit, but i miss you more than i meant any of it” “he’s fit, go for it.” “if you want to take her out, you're gonna have to ask me first” “she's in brooklyn with me” “you gave it all and i gave it up” “you were always on my mind” “i've got no right to miss you” “easiеr to tell myself we'd mess it up instead, so i left” “but i still wish things were different, don't you?” “'cause i get not evеryone sees you the way that i'd like” “you pulled a lot of shit” “thought i'd be a cool girl, but turns out i'm livid” “all or nothing, you chose nothing” “you are one tough act to follow” “you forgot how to miss me” “i hope i’m one tough act to follow” “now everything is through, it's you i wanna call though” “it was all out my hands when you pulled the trigger” “i kissed your friends 'cause your friends said you kissed her” “you were my no sleep, cried for weeks, favourite ex” “i was good to you” “did i just not do it for you, superficially?” “i can’t help thinking she’s got a better body” “has she got a better body than mine?” “were you sorry like you weren't at the time?” “the worst way to love somebody is to watch them love somebody else and it work out” “when you're twisting up all her sheets, do you suffer?” “was i just an idea you liked?” “was i just an idea you liked? a convenient use of time with obedient blue eyes” “i thought it would be us for life” “will you tell me just one more lie?” “didn't say it in those words, but i know how your tone works” “i'm hurting but i'm certain it's still true” “i'm the best thing that almost happened to you” “one day, you're gonna wake up and, oh shit, you lost the brеakup” “i'm thе greatest love that you wasted” "oh shit, i won the breakup" “just assumed i was your favourite” “what do you do when the good guys change their mind?” “'cause i used to think that if i tried my best, i'd always win” “now you're asking for a pardon 'cause i'm a good time pound for pound” “i was good, just wasn't good enough” “i never said i was perfect just thought i was perfect for you” “did you meet my brother?" “will we ever get together?” "how can i know you're for sure? it's only been a summer" “nothing more frightenin’ than a woman scorned” “baby, if you thought that i was trouble, then you're gonna hate what's comin' next” “i don't think you knew just what you'd done” “i'll fuck your life up as a blonde” “i'm gonna make your friends say, "man, you messed that up”” “you'll rue the day you did me wrong” "oh, goddamn, not another rockstar" “they got a lot of unexamined father-son baggage” “aren't i lucky 'cause he could have chosen any girl to fuck with?”

[lenteur]

random thoughts about castaway diva, episode eight

(read more because i always get carried away lol and this post might contain spoilers)

First of all, I can't imagine how bo geol feels when his brother asked him to recount the day their father hit woo hak with a chair. He's the only one who remembers everything and he's had to hold all of that in for his whole life. I can't begin to understand how that must have felt for him. He's such a strong person and I admire him for his perseverence and strength. I'd love it if he talked about his feelings more in the future. I know the story is focused on mok ha, but like the first episode showed, mok ha and ki ho have formed a super strong bond. All of that to say bo geol's feelings/story are a crucial part to this drama so it'd be nice if we got to know a little bit more about bo geol's feelings.

With that said, I also understand how difficult it must be for bo geol to be vulnerable around anyone. Ever since he was a kid, he's had to fend for himself and act as if nothing happened. He's protected himself by wearing this armor and now that he's grown up, he doesn't know how to act differently. The saddest part is he's tried numerous times to escape from his father. He even went as far as to call the police on his own dad (a police officer himself) for ab*se. But guess what? The police did nothing! The only time he's asked for help, the people that had the power to help him abandoned him and didn't believe him because his dad couldn't do that. Mr Jung seems like a nice man. He's a good police officer. "Plus, it's your dad ki ho. How could he do that to you?" All of that made being vulnerable impossible for him. He couldn't trust anyone. He was away from his loving family for years so the only person he could count on was himself. He was along for quite some time. He cried to himself, he had no one to hug/comfort him. No wonder being vulnerable and open about his feelings is a hard task for bo geol.

So I was right, ki ho and the "father" living in chunsam island happened after the chair incident. It's heartbreaking to see him being dragged with his father with no one to help him. What's even more heartbreaking is the mom's words "For the time being, don't provoke your father." There's an uncertainty in what she's saying. She doesn't even know if he'll be able to be him back home once the older brother is okay. The desperation in young ki ho's eyes is unbearable to watch. You want to stop that from happening. Then they hatched up a plan and ki ho was finally able to escape from his father. The reunion was wholesome. I must admit I shed a tear or two :')

Lee Uk really is an angel. This man is the living proof that love does move mountains 🩷 I'm so happy the mother found him. Thank you lee uk for what you've done for the family. You're a real man.

I'm sick and tired of woo hak wanting things to go his way and ignore everybody else's feelings. He annoys me sometimes.

It's so refreshing to see bo geol finally being ready to live as ki ho (at least to mok ha) because he's got tired of living in fear. I can't pinpoint what exactly triggered him but it's great to see.

AGHHHHHHHHHH!!! I'd love to be able to express myself clearly but my brain goes literally BBGRFEDECYGHTGFDFGHJ when i see how bo geol cares about mok ha. He knows that she doesn't want to pursue her dream after meeting with mr jung, yet bo geol is trying to convince her that becoming a famous singer would help the family. He's trying his hardest to not make her feel guilty and that proves he's her number one fan. He never stopped believing in her, even when she no longer could do so for herself. ALL IN ALL BO GEOL CARES 💖

On a completely unrelated note, chae jong hyeop has such a beautiful voice 😍 i'm falling in love with him,

Seeing mok ha and bo geol enjoying their time together is oh so sweet because it's the first in a looooooooooooooong time they get to be carefree and enjoy the moment. They've always had to endure the pain of being ab*sed so it's nice to witness them sharing memories with each other now that they know who the other is.

The camping scenes made me an emotional mess 😭😭😭 i think everyone in the family needed that moment to calm down and have fun. Also, it's beautiful to see that the family wanted to share with mok ha the first moment they reunited together without mr jung. It was a nice touch.

So happy to listen to dream us park eun bin version. She has such a beautiful voice.

All families deserve a dad like lee uk. The fact that he listened to bo geol being concerned about a nightmare he had that involved mr jung and acted upon it immediately shows how much he cares and loves his family. That man is an angel.

I- I'm not sure about the McD*n*ld's product placement. Even though it was funny how they accentuated the "th" sound in drive through lol

I feel for ran joo. All that pressure to keep being active and popular just so her mom's condition improves must be a lot to carry on her own. Once again, she's dealing with this alone. Thinking back on it, the years where she fell in disgrace must have been twice as hard for her. She's not only fighting for herself, she's also fighting for her mother.

Now why did ki ho go back to chunsam island and meet up with the man who betrayed him many many times and sided with mr jung? I know he has a plan but I'm scared for him.

I know bo geol wants to confront his dad but i'm scared for him. I don't want him to be harmed.

I really hope they catch mr jung. If not for the ab*se, at least for the car acc*dent.

It's interesting to see how ran joo got tired of mok ha giving up only once when she did it so many times to mok ha. I find that to be unfair! But at the same time, I understand she has a lot on her plate: her mother, the pressure to reach the 20 million album sales goal, the disgrace she's in right now, the realization that she is no longer the trend, the manipulation from her company. All of that is too much for one person. I know I'm contradicting myself but I can't help it.

I was a little frustrated with this episode so i'll give it an 8/10.

[unmeisenshi]

This entire act is going to delve into very, very heavy topics, like self-harm, suicide, depression, anxiety, PTSD, and hallucinations (though these hallucinations are in a dream). If these things trigger you, I do not advise reading beyond this point.

This act also has elements that are reflective of my own mental health journey and struggles. My hope is that anyone who reads this, and is also struggling, knows it's okay to talk about these things. And that you aren't alone. And always remember: if you or a loved one are struggling with mental health, there are various places to go, and numbers to call.

- Cayne

-

Solaris was bawling his eyes out, as the smaller shadow formed into an open space, with several graves in front of the Charizard. The larger shadow walked around behind one specific grave, staring at Solaris.

"The members of the guild you ran all died during the Bastille riots... Something you could have prevented..." The shadow grew bigger as it talked.

"No, I... I did the right thing... I couldn't have saved them... I was busy fighting..." Solaris squeaked.

"You can tell yourself that all you want... But you know you think differently... No matter the mask you put up, and no matter how deep you bury your feelings..." The shadow then shifted the scene to the next grave over, this one having Zane's name written on it. "Then there's Zane... Poor Zane... Who left you before they could even tell you what was happening. I wonder... Did they not have time... Or did they secretly hate you, and refuse to tell you...?"

"Shut up!" Solaris shouted. "Zane loved me! Of course they would have told me...!" The Charizard's voice faltered ever so slightly. Something that the shadow caught on to.

"You can't even say it with confidence... Then... There's this one..." The scene shifted again, coming to a grave that had Solaris' dad's name on it. "The one death that still haunts you..."

Solaris looked up at the shadow, and for the first time could clearly make out its face. It had a slit on its neck, and blood running down his body. "Dad..."

The shadow chuckled ominously, a second equally large shadow forming into Solaris' mother. "I think it's time for Zane to have a word with you..."

"What!?" Solaris could barely get a sentence out, before the smaller shadow appeared, and grabbed Solaris by the neck and began to choke him.

"What are we, Solaris? Are we the one bright speck you cling to in your pathetic life? Or are we your guilt? The guilt you feel because you feel responsible for our deaths, and that you can't let go of us and move on?" The shadow of Zane slammed Solaris to the ground. "What are we? Why are you fighting against us?!"

The Charizard looked at the shadows with tears in his eyes, and a freaked out expression. He grunted, trying to speak his answer, before the shadow slammed him again, and several smaller voices began to speak into Solaris' head. "ANSWER ME!"

"Because the three of you are the most important things in my life!"

Solaris finally shouted. The shadow let go of the Charizard's neck, and stepped back. Solaris took a moment to catch his breath, tears running down his face before continuing. "Mom... I should have stopped you... I'm so sorry I didn't... And I'm so sorry for making you feel worse..."

He paused once again, and looked at his dad. "Dad... I should have been more careful... I should have tried to de-escalate the situation... Instead of throwing something at Sirius... And... I should have told you about Mom when it happened... I was... I was scared..."

Finally, Solaris turned to Zane. "And Zane... You were my one bright spot... My light through the darkness... You were... Everything to me. You... You all are." Solaris wiped his eyes, though fresh tears stained his cheeks.

"If I let you all go... I'll be in the dark again... I'll be smaller than nothing... And I won't have anything left..."

The shadows assimilated back into one, and the darkness disappeared from around Solaris. The Charizard looked up at the forms, which were disappearing. A voice boomed from above him.

"Solaris... You can never truly be rid of us... We will always be a part of your psyche... However, you've made a tremendous step in your grieving... As long as you continue to have the willpower, you can move on... While also keeping us in your thoughts... And in your heart."

Solaris looked down. "It's... It's hard... It feels impossible..."

"As do most things that are thrown at you. You've faced down bigger threats... Bigger impossibilities... But you always came through. Do you know why...?"

Solaris thought for a moment, before his eyes lit up. "My friends... My family..."

"Rely on them. They can help you move past this rut." The voice disappeared, and Solaris was left in the white void, all alone.

"Rely on them..." He said over and over again. He sat in silence for some time, just repeating the word.

"...solaris..."

The Charizard looked around. "Hello? Who's there...?"

"...Solaris..."

The voice grew louder and louder. He eventually recognized the voice, and he tilted his head. "Zappa?"

"Solaris!"

END

-

Endorphin - a peptide hormone released in the brain. Endorphins act as the body's natural painkillers when we are stressed or in pain. It also makes us feel good, and promotes our well-being. There are about 20 different types of endorphins our body makes, with the most common one associated with a runner's high. Endorphins also release from much simpler reasons, such as laughing, having sex, being exposed to Ultraviolet light, playing or listening to music, and even after eating a good meal.

END PART IV: SYNAPSE

[egg-emperor]

The haters can't bring even a single receipt against ya because they ain't got none . All they have is rumors on their side. They're the modern Regina but far worse. At least Regina George never tried to be "Captain Puritan: Defender of Drawings" like these assclowns.have.

lol yeah they're never gonna be able to produce a single one. I'd literally dare and encourage people to share my private messages/messages in servers because instead of having receipts and proof of being terrible, all they'd get would be proof that I'm actually very considerate of tagging and people's comfort. slipping up once and fixing it the next day doesn't make me an evil criminal.

if someone sees me post something that is potentially triggering and I forget to tag certain themes, they should ask for it to be tagged to avoid that from happening any more, not immediately jump to accuse me of being a terrible person that loves abuse and triggering people. it's just because they don't like my takes and writing about the evil villain really, it's not about protecting people clearly

besides that it's just them wondering what else they can use to make me look bad as an excuse to hate on me so they go "uhhh well he also talks to people I don't like so that means he must know all about it and support it and endorse it and he's responsible for their actions!!!" and most of the time I literally don't even know what the fuck they're taking about because I never saw it/it isn't even true what they're saying about them

and people infantilizing and woobifying Sage and acting like they need to protect her from me acknowledging and writing that Eggman is a bad dad towards her and all his other creations, which I made a 13 minute video showing all the proof that it's canon that speaks for itself, is just silly. especially because they think it's appropriate to express a desire to kill me over it.

and like if I'm gonna learn something and become a better person like they claim to want, why aren't they showing me what it is I've done wrong and what I'm supposed to do instead? all they say is "omg you're a piece of shit and a monster and an asshole go on meds and get therapy". oh wait it's because they don't have genuine reasons to hate, so they don't have solutions either :P

[spookysprings]

Here’s lore about Eugene’s mother, Nabi :3 (Eugene is the name of skids dad in my AU)

THERE IS SOME TRIGGERING TOPICS LIKE ABUSE AND CHILD DEATH AND DEATH SO BE AWARE!!

Nabi and Nari were born in Korea in 1941. But by the time they were 7, North Korea was established. Before things got rough, in 1949 their father had managed to get their family out of North Korea, technically making them defectors I believe. So, they left when the Ryong twins were 8.

They managed to get to America by age 12. Though, at first, it was difficult for the Ryong family to fit in and get around without going completely homeless. But, their father managed to start a business which turned out to become really big, making them pretty wealthy within a few years.

When the girls were 19, their family was invited to a big party that the mayor was throwing (Their father practically became best friends with the mayor at the time.) At this party, this is where Nabi would meet Harold Seymour.

A city official, age 21, was standing in the corner of the ballroom, alone with only a glass of wine in hand. Nabi had noticed him from the corner of her eye, it seemed like she felt mesmerized by him just by first glance. She made her way over to him, and the two started to talk.

They seem to hit it off right away, when it came time that the party was finished. Harold took Nani’s hand and placed a kiss. He told her that he hopes to be “graced by her beauty once more in the future” and said his farewells, leaving Nabi absolutely love-strikten.

Only a couple of days later they had ran into eachother again when Nabi was taking an evening stroll around the town. Harold and Nabi went back to her house so Harold could ask her father for permission to take her out on a date, which her father eagerly granted.

To the entire Ryong family (expect Nari), Harold came off as a young, charismatic, handsome, intelligent gentleman that had a good job and would be the best suitor for their sweet Nabi. Though, unfortunately it was all just an act. Unbeknownst to them, Harold was a heartless killer, a cult leader, a manipulative mind-controlling monster underneath his charming smile. He was only trying to wed Nabi for his own benefit, since he had the incapability to feel love.

2 weeks later, after Harold had spoiled Nabi in riches, compliments, and caring attention. He had asked her father for her hand in marriage, which unfortunately, Mr. Ryong granted him with his permission yet again.

Thus started a marriage that started out wonderfully for Nabi, but soon was turning dark as Harold started to show his true colors. Basically, for their entire marriage, he basically brainwashed Nabi into thinking that she was meant to serve him, be the loyal companion for him, made her think she would be nothing but dirt without him, forced his beliefs onto her, physically and mentally tortured her. Harold got under her skin in multiple ways and practically made her go insane with the shit he was doing. He practically made her submissive to anything for him, making her scared to even stand up for herself or He’d beat her.

However, despite their awful marriage, they had about 3 children before they eventually had Eugene. Keyword, had. Nabi got pregnant after her and Harold’s honey moon, giving birth to a beautiful baby boy. The poor boy only lived up to 5 years old before his body was found brutally mutilated in the forest just three days after he went missing. The Seymour family was grieving, well, Nabi was, unknown to her. It was her “loving” husband and the “caring” father of the now dead body who had committed the murder. He was just putting on the act of a father who had lost a child he had loved and cared for. But, He had tried to sacrifice the child for his little cult. The same thing happened with their 3 year old boy, who they had 2 years later. His head was found in a pond, his body was never discovered. Then about a year later, they had a girl, who Harold had sacrificed just when she turned 2 weeks old. Her body was never discovered.

Nabi didn’t have children for 10 years due to the grief and sadness she had been struck by. But, Harold managed to convince her to try one last time. That’s when she became pregnant with her 4th child, Eugene. However when she was pregnant, she discovered the horrible truth about Harold. She was mortified, but she couldn’t run. She grew up around others who were heavily against divorce. She didn’t want to give birth to another child, only for him to kill and sacrifice to that..THING. She couldn’t get an abortion, because again, she grew up around people who were against it. And, she still somehow loved Harold.

So, she had to give birth to what was to her…”a demon baby.” Which turned her to basically force Eugene to be the perfect “holy church girl” and tried to pray the evil and demons away from her precious child. She did certainly care more for him than Harold did, but still. She was emotionally abusive towards Eugene. She had only gotten physical with him a few times, but usually she let Harold do the beatings. “Pain was good for the soul” in her eyes.

Nari, who was against Nabi and Harold’s relationship from the start. Harold had given Nari such awful vibes from the second Nabi pointed him out to her. For years she had tried to convince her sister that Harold was no good and was awful, then she realized she was basically getting no where with her sister. She had to watch her own sister become just as evil and awful as Harold was. So, that meant that she was the only real family Eugene had. Despite realizing her sister was an awful mother, Nari still wanted to save her from Harold. Nari still believed that her sister, the one she once knew was still in there. So, she still defended her with her life and soul.

After finding out about the affair Harold had in 1990, which sent her sister into a depression. She confronted Harold and they had an argument. Nari ended up blaming him for everything that Nabi and Eugene went through, yelling and screaming at him for ruining a girl who once had dreams and a life. Soon after, he had stabbed her to death and fed her body to eyes. Nari is still labeled as missing since Nabi was adamant about finding her and bringing her home, and there was no trace or evidence that she could be dead, but there was no evidence that she could be alive either.

After losing so much and causing havoc on her son’s life. He had ran away at age 18. 4 years later her husband was killed. Then, 6 years later, she found out where her son lived then tried to kill him and his newborn child, thinking that the only way to get the devil out now was to kill its vessel.

Lila had gotten home early and knocked her out, which resulted in her being taken into custody and sent to a mental institution, where she stayed there for years until she was deemed sane again, released when she was 72. It is unknown where she is now….or…is it?

Lawl will post more about Eugene’s family and life in the future!!!

[maxanddogspike]

My life part 3/?

Before reading ; make sure to check the previous parts ^^ The loose connection between me and my siblings got even worse. They even start to drop their bonding with our dad. Knowing it is all my fault, my suicidal thoughts return from being in the background. Always wondering what went wrong, and why everyone has to be in pain due to my issues with my mother.

Months pass on, while we try to survive our lifes. At some point the brother of my father passes and we're all invited to the ceremony. I remember clearly to having to pick up my brother, whilest he's wearing his dirty suite. Stinking of beers and puke, hungover as he'd just came back from a party. In the church whilest the ceremony was ongoing I see my dad break and cry.. Whispering to his kids that "They'd just stop and go love eachother before it's too late".. As it just hit him that his brother passed away.

It did nothing..

Months go by before I get another phonecall, it's my mom telling my her dad might pass away because of a surgery.

I told her "ok" and hung up, the next day she sends me a text that he did pass away as the surgery failed.

As I didn't respond to it ( fyi. He wasn't veeery kind.. see part 1) .

At night I get a phonecall from her, saying once more he passed and all I could answer was " Sorry it wasn't you.". As I was filled with fear and anger.

Quickly after that moment, my siblings broke all contact with me and our dad, the whole side of my moms family started reaching out and trying to get me to visit the ceremony for my grandfather. But I just couldn't nor wanted to go there.

After the ceremony I did receive a card from it, as it's common here to send them to people close to them. I noticed the writing on the envelope and it took me days before I could even gather enough courage to open it..

The following months the interaction slowed and died down again.

Up untill it was the marriage of my sister, suddenly she was there ( well I did know as it was expected). And at the end of the evening I had my brother beg me to go talk to our mom.. With fear and anger in my body, luckily dosed down by the beers. I went to her and she tried to play it all off as if nothing had happened and we were just "long lost mom and son"..

Hoping it would help reconnect me with my sibling and them with our dad.. Only to see that we'd all still act platonic as fudge when we meet.

Around this time I went to lock myself down for anything that could come from my mom, I removed all social media, new address once again, I contiplated about a new phone number but that wouldn't work anyway as she controls my siblings like her spies.

Time went on, and it was quiet.. Well it still is.. But my mind can't stop racing and being alerted by anything that can happen. I surrounded my house with cameras, hidden everything I can just to try to give myself a calm state of mind. But deep down I know it won't be long till something happens.

It's all a matter of time till she starts. And until then I get the pain from knowing and noticing my dad being forced into this. AS they still are platonic towards him, after all those years and nothing but trying to do the best he can.. He still can't just see and enjoy his family overcome this..

Meanwhile I try to continue my life, find people I do want around me.. But the scare of them leaving or scarring me like I have been before, it is weighing down so heavily.

My days up till now are either good days or bad. When the meds work, I have an OK day, till something triggers me and it turns bad.. I believe due to all this, I have my mind as my biggest enemy. The voices in my head just trying to talk me down constantly. I noticed that when I am surrounded by people I care about and care about me the voices slow down. But after a bit my lone-wolf comes back and I'd need time to recharge my social battery.. Till the voices come back.

[hxzxrdous]

The Avengers

Platonic Natasha Romanoff x teen!reader

TW: ANGST, abuse, S. abuse, hurt/comfort, don't read if it triggers you!

Summary: You're an exchange student, working at the Avengers compound. You have a nightmare and an unlikely person comes to your aid.

NOT YOUR FAULT

You've been working as a science exchange student at the Avengers compound for about 5 months now. You mostly talked to Mr. Stark, Ms. Potts, and Bruce who teaches you science. You two became so close he was practically like an uncle to you. You got along with everyone as you have a kind personality and people loved your calming presence but you never got close to the redhead of the team. Natasha Romanoff. You were slightly intimidated by her and she was intimidated by you and your kindness. She always thought she was like a rose with thorns and everyone who got close to her were accidentaly stabbed by her strong character, and you were a daisy, gentle and fragile.

It was January when you came back to the compound after a long holiday you spent at home. Peter Parker greeted you joyfuly alas you ignored him and headed straight for your room which used to be the guest room. You were so damn tired from your family and you didn't know how to trust an adult about your family problems that drained your energy, causing you to be depressed. You lied down on the bed after you closed the blinds and simply stared at the wallpaper. How ironic it would be if it was yellow. You heard a knock on the door. »Y/N, are you alright?« Bruce was worried. »Just tired from the plane ride, thank you.« You lied. »Can you tell Peter I apologize because of the way I acted?« You added. »Sure thing. Get some rest.« you heard him reply. Tears fell down your cheeks. Your heart ached for comfort but you were so afraid and ashamed so you cried and cried, and eventually you fell asleep.

Natasha Romanoff was never really a good sleeper, demons haunted her the most at night so she prefered being awake, her mind occupied with television. The woman was pouring herself a glass of water when she heard screams, your screams to be exact. She ran down the hallway and turned on the lamp when she entered your room. You were facing away from her, still crying in your sleep. »Wake up, baby« the redhead whispered, gently holding your forehead. »Don't touch me.« you jolted awake and after noticing it was only Natasha calmed down a bit. The calmness didn't last long though as you remembered your nightmares and the cause of it. The women sat by your side watching you and your bruised eye. »Can you tell me what happened, Y/N?« her hand caressed your hair. You hugged you knees and closed your eyes. Would she believe you? Could she help you? You didn't want to be a burden yet at the same time you wanted to get it out of your chest once and for all, after all she already saw the bruise and you were never really a good liar. You opened your mouth but nothing came out. You tried, you really tried. »Your parents?« Natasha simply asked when she saw you struggling. You nodded. »My mom. And dad… he get's drunk sometimes and acts different. Disgusting. It makes me sick to my stomach« you blinked. »Has he ever touched you, Y/N?« »Yeah« you blinked again, not daring to look the older woman in the eyes. »H- has he ever done anything worse?« You knew what she hinted at and you could only let out a sob. Natasha immediately wrapped her arms around you. »It's not your fault« she rocked you. »Let it all out, Y/N, let it all out« You continued crying as she gently held your head against her chest.

-

Sorry for any grammar or/and spelling mistakes. Hope you like it! :)

[it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream]

After the bite - Derek Hale x Reader

WARNING : TRIGGERING - MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

Word count : 1.1k

-Stiles POV-

“I don’t know man, she’s changed, she’s different. I don’t know why or how or what’s happened, I just know that she’s not the same as my big sister who left.” Stiles was frustrated.

You’d been home a few nights now and in his soul he knew something was different, he couldn’t put his finger on it. Was it because you were back in Beacon Hills? Was it because Derek was back too? Is that the reason you hadn’t left your room since being home? Even though you were older, Stiles had always had a fierce drive to protect you and if anyone knew you, it was him.

-Your POV-

Leaving Beacon Hills and going to college should have been the start of something.. new. It was, in a way, but never did you think the change would be a bite from a werewolf.

You ran as fast as you could, legs carrying you through the dense woods. You’d only been walking home from the library, up all night studying sucked. It was when you heard the growl that you panicked. In one night your life changed, you watched as the beast changed from animal to man, you were assaulted and then to top things off, the assholes face contorted and teeth sank into your flesh, then you were alone. All alone, bruised, bloody, lying on the cold floor with shreds of your clothes strewn around you.

Mellisa Mccall was the only person who knew what happened to you that night. When your mum died, she became sort of a motherly figure for you and Stiles, it was hard growing up having lost a parent, but as a girl, there were certain things you knew you couldn’t talk to your dad about. Thats where she came in.

When you turned up in her clinic a few days ago she was shocked to see you, but instantly knew something was wrong, you couldn’t hide anything from her and you broke.

Now you were trying to keep yourself together in front of your family. You hadn’t left the house since being home and you knew Stiles was being overly protective even if he was trying to act like his normal goofy self.

You knew you couldn’t stay in your room forever.

The sun was setting and you didn’t know how long you had been walking for. The woods were something you should have feared but your wolf didn’t allow you. Before you realised, you were standing outside the old Hale house, it sat there creaking in the wind. It looked worse off than it did before, if that was even possible.

The air around you seemed to shift and you heard a crack which shook your from your walk down memory lane. Someone else was here. You didn’t have a chance to turn before you were knocked over by a huge force. You scrambled to find your footing and turned, snarling at whatever, whoever it was that attacked you. The air caught in your throat.

Derek.

His face was like yours, full of shock, recognition, bumpy and rigid where your wolf made itself known. Both of your features softened. It had been years. Years since you said goodbye to each other. Now you were back at where it all began. Your legs were carrying you toward him and within seconds you were in his arms. He couldn’t have held onto you tighter if he tried. He held you by the shoulders looking into your face, looking you over, once, twice, three times to make sure you were okay. He was so confused. So were you.

“How, I mean, when.. who..” You sensed he was angry. You couldn’t help but laugh. What a fucked up situation. You smiled as you looked into his red eyes. Alpha Derek Hale.

“Theres a lot to talk about.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Derek had driven you back to his new apartment. Apparently the hunters liked to check the Hale house from time to time so it was time for him to find a new place to lay low. It was a good job he stumbled across you when he did, you didn’t like the sound of the Argents.

His place was nice, spacious. The old railway depo converted into storage and a huge loft, it was the bachelor pad he deserved. You were surprised to be met with growls when you entered the large unit. Three teenagers your brothers age were flashing their canines and their eyes were glowing. You scoffed, kids. It lasted seconds, Derek saw to that.

“She’s an old friend, have some respect idiots.” You were sure that one of them whispered something about you being Stiles sister, come to think of it, the kid with the bushy hair and dimples looked kind of familiar.

Finally alone Derek turned and looked at you. You couldn’t help but smile when you saw his beautiful face. He’d been your best friend since you were kids, then through high school, a little something more after Paige had died. He had never really gotten over her death though and started holding you at an arms length, he didn’t want you to end up like her, dying in his arms. You understood now, but it was too late, you weren’t dying but you certainly were a werewolf.

“You might want to sit down Derek.” He looked at you with a tilt of his head. “And maybe remove anything within your vicinity you find valuable…” He sat, worried.

“It was like any other night, being the overachiever you know I am, I was at the library all night. I packed up and started for home early hours of the morning, it was dark obviously, no one else was around. The route I take goes past a dense woods but It was okay because there was a path, streetlights, normally pretty safe. Only this time I wasn’t the only one out.

Something started chasing me, cornering me so the only way I could run was into the woods, I don’t know how long I ran for, but I had no idea where I was, I’d dropped all my things, I even heard growls…”

Dereks jaw clenched, his hand was holding yours now, your voice slightly shaky. “Go on Y/N/N”

“I remember tripping, rolling down an embankment, covered in wet mud and debris, my clothes slightly ripped, cuts up my hands and legs, then an almighty pressure. Someone, something was on me.”

Dereks hand tightened around yours and you were grateful in that moment that you weren’t human. A stray tear rolled down your cheek and using his thumb he wiped it away in one motion, his hand lingering on your cheek.

“I screamed, I screamed as loud as I could hoping someone could hear me, but I was in the middle of no where. My torn clothes, they were torn even more, I might as well of not been wearing any. Then I lay there, frozen, as a monster violated me, to top it off, he left his mark. He bit me and left me alone to deal with the aftermath.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me know what you think, I know it's got some touchy subjects in there. Obviously looking to make more parts for this one.

[erodasfishtacos]

can you write something about cheating harry and yn acting like a proper couple in front of anna, like harry with his arm around her and kissing her head and stuff, and anna is just standing there fuming and maybe tries to get physical with yn

Love Your Broken Pieces

-

warnings: cheating; mentions of trauma and domestic abuse

if you enjoy please consider donating $3 to my ko fi.

(any donations over $15 get a guaranteed blurb written of their choosing!)

reblog, like, comment, & come chat!

-

YN really really didn’t want to go out.

She wasn’t going to tell Harry that because it was a celebratory dinner for him because he’d just won Entrperur of the yearand she wasn’t going to ruin it.

It’s not that she didn’t want to celebrate his achievement.

She was so so proud of him but her therapy session had got moved up a day because the therapist had to go out of town.

YN didn’t want to bother him so she had went herself without telling him.

It was trauma-focused therapy which meant it was intensive, draining, and overall triggering at time.

Today had sparked a new memory that she had suppressed and she was really struggling to get through the day without his support.

She shouldn’t need him for everything. It wasn’t fair to him.

So she’d sat on her bed for thirty minutes before she managed to pull on a nice dress before curling her hair - zoning out and accidentally burning herself lightly.

Harry had to pick up Anna, offered to pick up YN.

“Hey pup, y’want me t’pick you up on the way?” Harry had called while she was swiping on mascara.

“No, I’ll just Uber,” YN try to keep her tone light but couldn’t stomach sitting in the car with that disgusting woman right now.

“No, let me come get you,” He insists, always preferring to drive her around over some stranger.

“I really don’t want to be in the car with Anna, okay? Just drop it,” YN replies a bit too tersely.

There’s a pregnant pause.

“What’s wrong, puppy?” Harry knows her much to well.

She couldn’t help but bristle, “Nothing. I just have to get ready. Okay? I’ll see you there.”

YN shouldn’t have hung up like that but her hands were shaking and it was taking all of her might to pull herself together to go.

“It’s all your fuckin’ fault your mum hates me,” Her dad had spat at her, right in the kitchen after dinner.

“Fuck,” She mumbles to herself as she drops her lipstick and it rolls under the dresser.

—

She canceled two Ubers before she found a driver who didn’t seem intimidating.

It made her fashionably late, everyone already seated, and it doesn’t make it any better when Anna greets her.

“About time. Can’t even make it at a respectable time for your supposed best friend’s dinner.”

Anna and Gemma both make a grimacing face at the rude comment but Harry interrupts before they interject, “S’okay, Uber’s can be a pain in the arse.”

“Er, yeah. The Uber…” YN mumbles lowly, there was an empty seat across from Harry that had been saved for her.

She could feel Harry’s eyes following her, studying her as she kept her head down and looked on the verge of tears.

“You look too much like your goddamn mother.”

“What d’you want to drink?” Harry asks softly, tapping her foot under the table.

“God Harry, she’s not a child,” Anna rolls her eyes as she glances over her menu.

Harry glares over at her with a strict warning glance that she needs to change her attitude or there is gonna be an issue.

“Just water,” YN replies, swallowing hard.

He knows somethings wrong when she doesn’t bite back at her, instead looking down at the menu like it’s the most interesting thing ever.

Harry had already known by the phone call.

There were quite a few people at the dinner, constantly engaging him in conversation as YN kept to herself.

It’s after the appetizer’s arrive that he can’t stand her fake smiles and attempts to seem like she’s enjoying herself.

“Outside, now,” Harry says firmly, not a question but a statement.

“Harry, don’t,” Anna huffs, not liking the private attention her enemy is about to get.

“I don’t remember askin’ you,” He hisses under his breath before following YN’s retreating figure to the main entrance.

They end up in the small alleyway, “Tell me what’s going on.”

YN’s eyes are moody, putting back on a nonchalant expression that would work for anyone but him, “I’m fine, I don’t know why you’re making a big deal. Let’s go enjoy your dinner.”

Harry backs her up against the brick wall, hand over her shoulder, “We’re not goin’ anywhere until you tel me. M’not stupid.”

It triggers something because she starts sniffling, whispers, “You’re going to be mad at me.”

His hard facial features relax, pressing his forehead to hers, “Please pup, y’know I love you no matter what.”

“My therapist moved our session to today. I went and uh…” YN begins to full on cry, burying her face in her hands.

“C’mon, tell me,” He encourages softly.

“It triggered a repressed memory. I…I didn’t want to ruin tonight for you. I fuck up everything for you already,” She chokes out, letting him pry her hands away.

“Puppy,” He murmurs with a laugh of disbelief, “I fuckin’ wake up everyday because of you. You make my life worth livin’. I’m not happy unless y’are.”

“I just…didn’t want tonight to go like this,” YN sighs quietly, “One night without my trauma.”

“Hey, hey. We’re workin’ through it together, yeah? It takes time. Y’made the effort to come and that means more to me than anything else,” He says truthfully, tilting her chin up.

Harry melts a bit when she leans up to give him a lightening fast peck, “I am so proud of all your accomplishments.”

“Wouldn’t have done any of it without you, sweet girl,” He rubs a thumb under her eye to wipe off a streak of makeup.

They stand outside for a minute longer in a tight hug.

-

When they walk back into the restaurant, Harry quietly asks Gemma to switch YN seats which she graciously agrees without a fuss.

Anna is shooting daggers at YN while the change happens and Harry pushes in her seat for her.

The whole dinner consists of Anna fuming and hanging on every single movement between the two despite her hand on Harry’s thigh.

When he scoops up a bit of his mashed potatoes and feeds them to YN, laughs when she makes a face at the amount of chives mixed in.

It’s like he doesn’t even noticed the casual arm he occasionally throws around the back of YN’s seat as they chat.

“Harry,” YN scolds with a small smile when he steals a shrimp from her plate when she’s not looking.

Anna had shrimp too and he didn’t look once to do that to her.

“S’good, here, have a bite of m’steak. Know Y’don’t like it rare but s’good. I promise,” He encourages, cutting her a thick piece.

How the fuck did Harry know how YN liked her steak?

He didn’t even remember Anna’s favorite color.

“Y’gettin’ sleepy?” Harry whispers to YN towards the end of the meal, his lips are nearly brushing her ear and Anna pinches his thigh hard.

“Fuck,” Harry replies, flinching away from the pain as he turns to his girlfriend, “Wha’ did you do that for?”

“Can you pay at least a little bit of attention to me? I’m your girlfriend despite how much YN wants to pretend she is,” Anna says haughtily, loud enough for her to hear.

Harry is about to snap on her but instead YN speaks up first, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know jealously was on the menu. Eat up, Anna.”

Anna begins to sneer but Harry says, “Why don’t you go take a second in the bathroom? Then we can talk, okay?”

With a little stubbornness, she does - stomping away from the table without looking back at YN who had rolled her eyes.

“Y’on my menu tonight? A bath and cuddle sounds nice,” He offers to his love, thumbing her upper thigh.

“So nice,” YN agrees, “Can we use that sugar cookie bath bomb?”

“Of course, anythin’ you want, m’pup,” Harry hums sweetly, kissing the top of her head.

Anna is walking back when she sees it.

He’s cheating on me.

It flashes through her mind but she pushes it away because she reminds herself that YN is a pathetic little clingy girl who Harry wouldn’t ever like that way.

—

Later that night, Harry holds YN as she recount her memory.

Praises her for being so strong.

Kisses her because he loves her so much it hurts most days.

Assures her that he’ll love her even if she’s never ‘fixed’.

Promises that he’ll never let anyone hurt her again.

—

I’d love feedback 🥺

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