#like ok fork found in kitchen
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free me from kat’s drama for 5 seconds please 🙏🏻
#litg#litg all stars#litg s9#litg spoilers#litg kat#im so over it#fusebox there are other islanders#please u could have used them for a plot twist#oh no!!! kats snakey!!!#like ok fork found in kitchen
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do you guys think daigo had to make an apology video after his company got called out or whatever
#infinite wealth spoilers#fucking i guess id ont know#snap chats#no one touch this post im drawing it later at some point probably#im still thinking about how stupid this is but im also laughing#like Im So Sorry This Company That Was Publicly Founded On Rehabilitating Yakuza Has Ex-Yakuza In It#said by th ex-chairman. who was on tv.#like i dont imagine theyd try to hide this fact tf even there to expose. Fork Found In Kitchen we know we're hiring ex-yakuza#im p sure he said there were rumors. would be great if we saw those rumors or saw how bad they were so i could believe this !!#like with ichi and the gang we saw how their shit was manipulated i can buy it but i just gotta believe it here. OK.#anyway wheres daigos apology video im gonna throw up. do you think it was majimas idea to make one#jk of course it was
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this is silly and vent-ish but good lord i am sick of this shit T_T you get used to never seeing myanmar or burmese culture on the internet unless you go looking for it (it's a small country, not super surprising, this isn't the problem here) but. the ONE time i get jumpscared with a mention of it in a youtube comment section. it's from a rando writing a burmese side character into their story who's talking big shit about giving him a traditional name (this is another conversation what the fuck do you mean traditional name??????) but is like. his whole focus is being burmese but "he's just too asian right now like i think readers are just going to think he's just asian" WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
#shoutout to the one (1) reply saying “hm. i suggest maybe go and talk to a burmese person in real life?” because yeah#this feels like an overreaction but also. it's not#sigh. maybe it is a little bit. anyway i'm still a little pissy about it bc it's my god-given right#“i need him to mention it and i don't know how to write him as burmese without him mentioning it :(” MAYBE IS THAT BECAUSE#YOU HAVEN'T DONE A SINGLE MODICUM OF RESEARCH?#WHITE PERSON PUTS POC IN WORK FOR DIVERSITY POINTS? FORK FOUND IN KITCHEN? MOTHERFUCKER?#tristan rambles#hi! i am doing ok!#actually doing better than ok because i got an extremely sweet email just now but this is separate from the issue at hand
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if your wondering, the Kirby fandom’s a lot worse recently. People were talking about porn in the presence of minors and some people were defending the people doing that. Also, dddaio (shortened the actual username)is apparently abusive partner/friend
Honestly. I’m not surprised. Kirby fandoms all like 🩷✨🌹🌸 and everyone turns out to be toxic.
Man 13 yo me had it rough. Got groomed on steam, cancelled from kirblr, fell in love and got dumped. Lowkey was thinking about ending it then lmaoooo
#I’m definitely not bitter about how they all ganged up on me when I was an emotionally unstable 13 year old#not at all#kirby#kirblr#I remember crying typing out a messy apology but everyone had already blocked me by then so what was the point#rule number one: never trust a Kirby artist#especially the popular ones#it’s a bunch of older teenagers picking on younger teens/preteens#like it’s ok if a teen makes a sex joke cuz like. fork found in kitchen#but it’s not ok to send images like that to kids#found my first girlfriend on kirblr. Didn’t last long bc everyone jumped to tell her about the unspeakably evil things I did as a 13 yo
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we need to get garly neutered or something oh my god
#garly staring romantically at his teammates: fork found in kitchen#so nobody was gonna tell me abt this huh??#guess it’s like. another day in the office but… Good God This Dude Is Insane#HE was the one who scored the goal NOT LINDY… does he know that???????????????!!!!??!????#i garlypost enough to know that this is not new behavior but it truly just leaves me gagged a bit…. like ok#might gif in the morning as it might be my duty as the resident garlyhead. we’ll see
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the politics of ragtime suck a lot obviously its lib fodder unfortunately i do enjoy it because of nostalgia mostly
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Kinda controversial, but I'm so happy that mojang has continued to add cape designs.
Mostly because then that allows for elytra customization
#fork found in kitchen#tumblr user hidden-elytras likes the ability to customize elytras#i mostly use the cherry blossom cape rn and the migrators cape#I may add the twitch one to my roster depending on my mood#idk about the tiktok one though#not a fan of the stripes on the elytra#although it would probably look ok when open idk
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A LOSS IS A WIN // KENAN YILDIZ
summary: husband! kenan is left devastated after turkey lost against portugal and you can only provide him with the best news he could get on that gloomy day
genre: angst, comfort, fluff
warnings: pregnancy i guess
words: 1885
a/n: realised this pookie didn’t have a lot of imagines and took matter into my own hands 😈 (i didn’t forget requests i’m working on them i’m just slow 😔)
After a long drive back Kenan and you arrive at your home. Kenan is fuming with anger and frustration to the point he is banging his hands against the steering wheel of the car, while you attempt to calm him down. Finally after a few deep breaths and some silent praying, he unbuckles his seatbelt and get out of the car, slamming the door. You get out the car in a much calmer fashion and walk into the house with Kenan not far behind.
You quietly close the door and flick on the hallway light. Kenan is still grumbling and kicking off his shoes. He walks to the sofa and falls into the cushions, burying his head in his hands.
You hover in the hallway, not sure whether he is ready to be comforted just yet, but still you want to make sure he is ok. You think back to countless nights like these. You know how to comfort him after years, caressing his hair and rubbing his temples always helps to relax him. However, today the match seemed to rile him up more than ever before. He didn’t even seem to notice that you were stood behind him.
Sitting down beside him, you reach down and run your finger through his hair. He still has yet to turn and look at you. Slowly his breathing slows and he leans closer to your touch, as your hand massages his scalp.
Now he is at least breathing normally and seems to be relaxing. He still keeps his face in his hands and continues to stare at the floor, taking deep breaths. You pause your caressing for a moment and watch him carefully, waiting to see if he will say something first.
Kenan stays with his face in his hands for an agonisingly long time. The air in the room feels heavy, like there is a storm coming. You continue the caressing, your fingers moving back and forth through his hair. He lets out a long and dejected sigh, and pulls his head up. He still doesn’t look at you, the disappointment etched onto his face.
Kenan suddenly pushes himself up from the sofa. He mutters something about taking a shower and heads to the bathroom. He is still annoyed and frustrated from the game. Once he grabs a towel and clothes from the bedroom, he enters the bathroom and closes the door. You can hear the shower starting and the banging of clothes being discarded around the room.
With Kenan occupied in the bathroom, you make your way to the kitchen. You decide to prepare some dinner to distract your mind from the events of today. You make something quick and comforting, a simple meal that you often eat after a particularly stressful day.
You are just finishing plating up the food, when Kenan exits the bathroom. He is dressed in an over sized t-shirt and pyjama pants, his hair still wet. It’s a look that you’ve always found adorable, but today his usual cuteness is overshadowed by his obvious annoyance.
He walks into the kitchen and flops into a chair. He sighs loudly and you bring the food to the table, placing a large plate of pasta in front of him. He looks up and gives you a weak smile.
You slide into the chair opposite him. He still hasn’t said anything but has began slowly picking at the food. He is taking slow bites with a lost look in his eyes. You can’t tell if he is going to say something or break down in tears.
Silence pervades the room, as you two eat your food. Every now and then you hear a slurp or clink of a fork against a plate. Kenan suddenly speaks up, his voice quiet and emotionless.
"You know, I really thought we had a chance," he mutters between mouthfuls. He isn’t looking at you, just staring down at his food, a look of disappointment on his face.
You say nothing, just continuing to eat, waiting for him to continue to speak. He takes another bite of pasta and then mutters bitterly, "But we were just never good enough."
He pushes the plate, full of half-finished pasta, away from him. He rests his head in his hands and groans. He mutters “I wasn’t good enough…” under his breath, his voice barely audible.
Your heart aches as you watch him. You know how much he loves football and how hard he works every day to be better. You know this is eating away at him inside, as it does with every loss.
As you walk around to his side of the table, you see tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. You place your hand on his back and start to rub it softly. He takes deep, shuddering breaths, trying to hold back his tears, but it’s all too much. He suddenly buries his face into your stomach and grips your hips tightly.
You thread your fingers through his hair and rub his back slowly and speak soft and sweetly, saying “Baby, it’s ok, it’s ok, I’m here.”
Kenan buries his head deeper into your stomach, breathing heavily. He still grips your hips, as if you are a rock for him to cling to in a storm. “I wasn’t good enough,” he mutters. “We weren’t good enough.”
Softly, you take his face in your hands and make him look at you. You brush away the tears on his cheeks as you say, “Listen to me, you are the best football player I know. You work so hard every day and give your all to be the best. Just because you lost tonight, doesn’t mean that you aren’t good enough.”
He is still breathing heavily, but seems to calm down slightly as he looks into your eyes. “But I wasn’t good enough for this match. I should have done more. I let all of Turkey down, I let them all down.”
You continue to hold his face in your hands, as if to keep him grounded and focused. You continue speaking, “You didn’t let anyone down, I promise. You have done so much for your country. You are amazing at such a young age baby, win, lose or draw.”
He is still breathing deeply, but the tears have slowed. He leans his face into your hands, his eyes watery. He says softly, “I just, I wish I could have won. I wish I could have made everyone proud.”
You gently caress his cheeks, trying to console him as much as possible. “You do make everyone proud. You make me proud, my love.”
He shuts his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. He’s is leaning into your touch, and seems to finally be relaxing. He mutters quietly “I love you,” and grabs onto your wrists, wrapping your fingers in his.
You smile slightly and say back softly, “I love you too, baby.��� He is holding onto your wrists like a lifeline, like if he lets go you’ll disappear.
You take a deep breath, knowing this the perfect moment to reveal the news. You look him dead in the eyes and say gently, “You know who else will love you?”
He looks back at you, blinking in confusion. He tilts his head to the side, still a little dazed from his emotions. He is still holding on to you like a lifeline, still not letting go. He says quietly, “Who? Who else will love me?”
You try to calm your beating heart. You say softly, but firmly, “Our baby.”
Kenan is silent for a moment, staring at you intently. His grip on your wrists tightens slightly. He blinks a couple times, clearly not having expected to hear that. He is completely shocked, trying to process what you’ve just said. He mutters out, “What did you just say?”
You smile slightly, trying to calm yourself. You repeat softly, “Our baby. You’re going to be a dad.”
Kenan’s eyes widen in disbelief. He takes a shaky breath, still not quite believing what he’s hearing. “I’m gonna be…I’m gonna be a dad?” he stammers. His voice breaks just slightly, still not letting go of your wrists.
You nod and let tears of joy stream down your face. Kenan’s expression is slowly lighting up, his eyes becoming wider than you’ve ever seen them before. He says back to you in a stammering voice, “We’re having a baby? You’re having a baby? I’m going to be a dad?”
You nod again and a smile begins to cover your face. “Yes, we’re having a baby. I’m going to be a mom and you’re going to be a dad,” you say. Tears are streaming down your face, but they are tears of complete joy.
He suddenly grabs you around the waist and lifts you up into his arms.
You laugh joyously as he swings you around the room, your feet not touching the ground. He is laughing and whooping so loudly you think he’ll wake the neighbours. Even though he was so upset at the result of the game earlier, he is so ecstatic that you are going to have a baby together.
He spins you around and around and you cling on tighter to his shoulders to stop yourself from getting dizzy. He finally comes to a stop, holding onto you so that your feet are off the ground. Both of you are still laughing and holding each other tightly, the atmosphere having completely changed from half an hour ago.
You reach down and kiss him softly on the lips. He responds by holding you closer to his chest and pulling you into the kiss.
He deepens the kiss, holding you close to him. His arms are wrapped tightly around your waist, keeping you from slipping down. His lips are soft and warm against yours as he kisses you passionately.
Kenan breaks the kiss and looks at you, his arms still wrapped tightly around your waist. He rests his forehead against yours and says softly, “I don’t care if I lose every match from now on. This is the best gift I’ve ever received.” He then begins to pepper your face with kisses, your cheeks, your nose, your eyelids, showering you in affection.
“I love you so much. I am so, so very lucky to have you.”
You wrap your arms around his shoulders, holding him close as he nuzzles into your neck.
Kenan bends his knees and slowly lowers you to the ground. Once your feet touch the floor, he bends down himself and places a firm kiss against your stomach, directly where the baby is.
He rests his forehead against your stomach, as he would often do whenever you feel unwell. He takes a deep breath and then whispers softly against your stomach, “Hello little one, it’s daddy.”
He presses another kiss against your stomach, before slowly rising back up to his full height. He wraps his arms around your waist again and pulls you close to his chest. He gives you a kiss on your forehead as he says quietly, “I love you both so much.”
You rest your head on his chest, your head tucked nicely under his chin. You say back quietly, “We love you too, so much.”
#kenan yildiz#kenan yıldız#kenan yildiz x reader#juventus#juventus x reader#turkey#footballer x reader#footballer x y/n
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opposite • aa23 ੈ✩‧₊˚
she looks nothing like me so why do you look so happy? now I think I get the cause of it, you were holding out to find the opposite.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ pairings || alex albon x singer!reader, alex albon x lily muni he
ੈ✩‧₊˚ genre || social media au
ੈ✩‧₊˚ summary || based on sabrina carpenter's opposite. after an abrupt break up, alex begins to show of his new relationship while reader reflects on their relationship.
alt. he was holding out to find the opposite
ੈ✩‧₊˚ warning || sad, kind of alex hate but also not idk
ੈ✩‧₊˚ a/n || ok ok first ever alex fic i hope u guys like! also absolutely no lily hate, she’s my fave fr but anything that seems like lily hate is just plot purpose i love her! i also never use blonde face claims but for the purpose of the song narrative i thought it made sense x
liked by georgerussell63, alex_albon, and 198,028 others
yourusername 😋
tagged alex_albon
username34 the cutest couple evaaaaa
williamsracing our favourites💙
⤷ yourusername love you admin
username72 mum&dqd frfr
carmenmmundt linda 🩵
alex_albon candid 😍
⤷ yourusername fuck off
georgerussell63 resorting to shirtless pics. shameless albono 😦
⤷ alex_albon taking a page out of your book georgie
⤷ yourusername im not complaining 🙃
liked by williamsracing, logansargeant, and 109,992 others
yourusername recent flicks
tagged alex_albon
username71 y/n in the studio!!!
⤷ username18 are we finally getting new music?!
francisca.cgomes 😍😍😍
username2 alex on the vespa w his helmet 😫
landonorris ugly shoe twins
⤷ yourusername ugly papaya twins @oscarpiastri
⤷ oscarpiastri wtf-
rachelzegler u finally got ur ass back in the studio 🌟
carmenmmundt eres hermosa 🩷
⤷ yourusername 😘😘😘
alex_albon my beautiful girl
⤷ yourusername gag
⤷ alex_albon ig ill just fuck off then
⤷ yourusername also so you are on ur phone…
⤷ alex_albon my phone is on dnd baby 😩
liked by charles_leclerc, albon_pets, and 309,028 others
alex_albon lately with my lady 😋
tagged yourusername
username17 albon winning everyday
francisca.cgomes run away with me @yourusername
⤷ yourusername im coming baby
⤷ username10 fork found in kitchen
danielricciardo albon.jpg when?
username4 she’s so cutieful
username12 height difference 😫
username6 backwards cap alex u do things to me
liked by yourusername
yourusername this is really sweet ☹️
⤷ alex_albon gag
f1 the dynamic duo of our dreams 🏎️🎤
liked by username8, username91, and 24,098 others
f1updates happy 6 year anniversary to our fave couple!
tagged alex_albon, yourusername
username1 holy shit SIX YEARS?!
username23 all the people who said she’s only with him for money and fame finding out she’s been with him since b4 f1 and they’ve known eachother since high school
⤷ username4 he dropped out so…?
⤷ username23 sorry i should’ve clarified i meant like teenagers bc it was when y/n was in high school, they met bc her brother did karting with alex
username46 alex and his peace sign are unstoppable
username3 their height difference has moved me
⤷ username8 tall bf and his 3x🍎 tall gf
username61 betting on a 💍 this year
⤷ username43 same they’re sooo endgame
username12 if they break up love is dead
liked by georgerussell63, patrickh_coach, and 450,982 others
alex_albon happy anniversary bunny 🐰❤️
tagged yourusername
comments have been limited by creator
yourusername love u loser
yourusername my honey bear 🥰
⤷ alex_albon your duality
liked by francisca.cgomes, susiewolff, and 309,092 others
yourusername happy anniversary to my favourite person, six years around the sun with the love of my life. to the person who makes me laugh and smile,, i will never stop writing songs about my eternal muse. to forever with you ❤️
tagged alex_albon
username81 oh god i’ve never felt more single
carmenmmundt my faves ❤️
username9 parentssss
francisca.cgomes happy anniversary to the most talented brilliant amazing wonderful person i know and her chauffeur 💝
georgerussell63 how’ve you dealt with him for that long? 😳
⤷ yourusername he’s been your boyfriend much longer x
username8 i will never stop writing songs about my eternal muse GOD WHEN IS IT MY TURN
⤷ username71 oh to be y/n y/l/n’s muse
username44 SIX YEARS?! i remember her first tour when she adjusted all the dates to follow the f2 calendar 🥹
username02 wish my camera roll looked like that
⤷ williamsracing ours lowkey does 😅
albon_pets happy anniversary y/n🐰 and alex 🐼! let’s get nandos to celebrate ❣️
natalie_pinkham question finally popped?! 😍
⤷ yourusername not yet! hahaha
⤷ username19 six years and no ring…
username92 come on albono put a ring on it
username7 don’t know how albon pulled it off but he better lock it down soon
username5 bro propose already
username42 i feel bad for y/n
⤷ username16 she should cut her losses
username16 how has he not gotten down on one kneee yet jesus
username63 STILL NOT RING?
2 weeks later
liked by carmenmmundt, luisinhaoliveira99, and 320,828 others
yourusername know it’s for the better 🫤
username71 waiting room lyrics? i fear parents have divorced
username23 do we think they broke up?
⤷ username63 don’t even joke lad
username11 have they broken up?
username17 they haven’t posted or been seen together and they unfollowed… i think it’s over
phoebebridgers 🩶
luisinhaoliveira99 pretty girl ❤️🔥
username45 she’s in the studio so on the up side new music?
⤷ username12 remember when she said no more break up songs bc shes over the past and has nothing to be sad about in her relationship welp
francisca.cgomes banger song…
⤷ yourusername tiktok fix you mashup is even better 🙃
username27 NOOO THIS IS NOT FOR THE BETTER
username3 all i can think of is y/n commenting about the coldplay remix bc like “tears stream down your face when you lose something you can not replace”
⤷ username81 gonna end it all
liked by williamsracing, landonorris, and 309,727 others
alex_albon abu dhump ✌️out team ✌️we UP
tagged williamsracing
landonorris she broke
⤷ alex_albon 🤣
⤷ username1 wtf.
⤷ username17 this is not the same man that said y/n was the light of his life and sometimes the only good thing about it
username17 all men are the same.
username13 i reckon he’s salty y/n wouldn’t wait for him to be ready
username6 u were meant to be different ALEX
username52 could commit to a six year relationship but not marrying her… yeah ok
username17 yeah YOUR up
georgerussell63 congrats on the season mate must’ve had a great support system 🙂
⤷ username10 man is livid
⤷ username67 he’s basically lost one of his closest friends bc his best friend strung her along for over half a decade
⤷ username2 hmm i agree obviously it seems alex was the reason they broke up but acting like he didn’t love y/n is kinda crazy
liked by landonorris, yukitsunoda0511, and 450,029 others
alex_albon tis the sea-sun 🎅
landonorris all those bags for one?
⤷ alex_albon don’t pack light 😉
⤷ username82 there’s no fucking way
username81 guys it’s probably just a friend lol
username15 weird but ok
username17 they broke up let him move on 🙄
⤷ username27 two weeks ago…
username09 rip
username8 no way he’s already moved on
username27 guys this could just be a friendly trip like there are other people there as well
username61 y/n’s gone MIA and alex is out posting his thai land holiday
⤷ username7 people process things in different ways
liked by emmaraducanu, alex_albon, and 120,982 others
lilymhe 📍🇹🇭
username81 this is the girl in alex’s post?
username11 pretty!
username23 liked by alex albon…
username09 slaying the off season 😍
username7 who is this girl?
⤷ username4 she’s an american pro golfer in the lpga
carmenmmundt 😍
⤷ username71 rip parents are divorced and i think alex got gr and carmen
liked by lilymhe, landonorris, and 309,091 others
alex_albon new year new goals
username45 new year new gf lol
username6 albon tryna soft launch?
landonorris simp
username11 i wonder how y/n feels…
⤷ username3 this has to be a blow to the heart
⤷ username17 hope she has him blocked
williamsracing ready for the new szn albono 💙
username11 lily wearing his helmet ☹️
⤷ username4 same one y/n used to use…
⤷ username88 how do u know it’s her
⤷ username13 just guessing
username18 fucking hell
username61 and they told me people grieve in different ways…
liked by carmenmmundt, alexandrasaintmleux, and 408,928 others
yourusername happy new year 🌟 been locked in the studio 🤍
username72 girl tryna play it cool but the tolerate it lyrics giving her away fr
username25 SIX YEARS
username42 she’s been locked in the studio while alex is out soft launching his new relationship lol
⤷ username7 new album about to hit
francisca.cgomes dress 😍
username61 “some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world”…
username7 some people making it sound like alex never lived y/n
⤷ username63 no i think it’s that he seemed to love we so much but his actions compared to y/n are very odd
carmenmmundt feliz año nuevo 🩷
⤷ username71 phew they’re still friends
username71 y/n out of hiding!!! 🥹
username6 rep era 🖤
⤷ username23 more like ttpd 😳
albon_pets happy new year y/n 🐰🥳
⤷ username18 she’s still their bunny 😖
liked by carmenmmundt, alex_albon, and 183,093 others
lilymhe ❣️
emmaraducanu wag duties ✌️
⤷ lilymhe 😂🥰
username17 yeah this really hit,, lowkey missing y/n
username7 she’s in bahrain?! welp
username55 awww she’s wearing his merch 🥹
⤷ username6 so cute she’s wearing the merch his ex gf helped design xx
username12 ok i love y/n but lily is soooo pretty
username63 new wag!
carmenmmundt love
williamsracing 💙
liked by username23, username16, and 23,099 others
f1updates new f1 couple confirmed! pro golfer and rumoured girlfriend of alex albon spotted in the paddock for the first time seemingly confirming the couples status. there is a lot of discourse among fans regarding how quick the williams driver has moved on from his last relationship with singer y/n y/l/n, the pair were together for six years after abruptly splitting following their six year anniversary.
tagged alex_albon, lilymhe
username63 i mean they’re cute but i miss y/n
username17 so cute 😍 much better suited to eachother
⤷ username82 i love that they’re both athletes so they understand each other more
username99 she matches alex’s energy 😍
username44 he looks so happy 🥹
username13 cute couple
username1 they will last i think
liked by lilymhe, williamsracing, and 299,928 others
alex_albon bahrain tested: car ✅ food ✅ greens ✅
tagged lilymhe
username71 HARD LAUNCH
lilymhe need to work on that swing
⤷ alex_albon yeah you should
⤷ lilymhe oh!
lilymhe pretty sweet caddy 🥰
williamsracing things we like to see 💪
username2 awww they’re so cute
username14 couple goals
username23 parents ❤️
username2 they’re perfect together
landonorris 🔥
liked by francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc, and 309,727 others
yourusername if i don’t laugh ill cry xx
francisca.cgomes sabes q és linda?
⤷ yourusername i love u
username1 prettiest
username09 stop she defs saw alex’s post
username23 all men do is lie
carmenmmundt ❤️❤️❤️
logansargeant sunscreen?? 🧴
⤷ yourusername so funny logs
⤷ username2 their friendship 🥰
username7 i feel so bad for her
username16 everyone breaks up she should get over it
username12 six years…
liked by alex_albon, williamsracing, and 239,029 others
lilymhe triple M dump 🇲🇨🇨🇦🇺🇸 with some ⛳️ in between
tagged alex_albon
username71 oh my god she’s the most beautiful girl in the world
alex_albon my beautiful girl
alex_albon wow 🤩
alex_albon prettiest in the universe bunny
⤷ lilymhe 🐰❤️
⤷ username62 THEY HAVE HIT THE PENTAGON
⤷ username3 he’s so?! not the bunny nickname… have some shame albono
username45 rip
username82 she is out of this world 😍
username43 idk if anyone knows what im talking about but i remember this interview a couple of years ago where alex said his celeb crush was this one tv actress, ive forgotten her name but i remember she looked exactly like lily does
⤷ username6 his perfect type 🥰
⤷ username47 remember who he was with then…
⤷ username82 my girl y/n catching strays all the time
liked by oliviarodrigo, iamrebeccad, and 451,928 others
yourusername i scream inside to deal with it like AHHHAEGEGBDBDHEHJEJDNXNJE
tagged oliviarodrigo
username45 girl is going through it
username22 “you’re the only girl i’d ever want” yeah ok liar
liked by yourusername
oliviarodrigo girl-
⤷ yourusername happier, pretty isn’t pretty, & stranger is a lethal lineup. don’t ask why i know… 💜
⤷ username42 wooh deadly combo
⤷ username25 just two ‘teenage’ girls who make the most gut wrenching twisted experiences sound like fairy dust
liked by oliviarodrigo, yourusername
username5 bunny nickname was sacred i can’t believe this 😖
username16 last slide is so real girl 😩
francisca.cgomes validddd
username11 i really don’t think she’s taking all of this very well
⤷ username18 u think?!
liked by lilymhe, patrickh_coach, and 230,838 others
alex_albon happiest with my girl
tagged lilymhe
username23 day b4 y/n’s birthday…
⤷ username45 he knows what he’s doing
username28 he’s never looked happier than with lily 🥰
lilymhe my silly boy
landonorris whippeddd
username67 pinterest couple 💌
username18 i love that they seem like best friends as well
username61 i want what they have ☹️
username77 his girl awwww
liked by luisinhaoliveira99, georgerussell63, and 509,983 others
yourusername opposite out now 🌟🐰
username23 the golf fit and bunny emoji SHES MESSY!
alexandrasaintmleux trop belle 🩷
username8 nah not the golf outfit when his current gf is a pro golfer…
username17 “she looks nothing like me so why do you look so happy?” after his ig post rlly hits
username13 i wanna hug her 🫂
username62 really her eternal muse….
username37 does she step out the spotlight so u bathe in it? GAGGED HIM
⤷ username2 righttt like especially since when they were together she was always the more famous one and he was the bf
georgerussell63 🤩
⤷ username11 alex may be his best mate but he hast to stan
username16 “i’ll never stop writing songs about you” well she didn’t lie-
username34 them always joking about how alex was a bad texter but now he’s with lily he’s suddenly the fastest replier ☹️
⤷ username9 “oh so u can reply just to not me” 🫤🫤
carmenmmundt so good ❤️
⤷ yourusername ily
francisca.cgomes TRYNA TAKE IT AS A COMPLIMENT ITS KINDA FEELING LIKE THE OPPOSITE
⤷ yourusername my best friendddd
username8 u were holding out to find the opposite is CRAZY
username92 “you knew i would see that” 👹👹
username6 “face like that other girl your in love with” OH OH OH
username63 “i know now even if i tried to change that somehow you’d end up with her anyway” alex albon when i catch you
username77 “when you said i’m beautiful was i bein lied to?” SHUT UP
⤷ username6 when he’d call her the prettiest in the universe…
username23 just rip my heart out and stomp all over it
2 years later
liked by carmenmmundt, francisca.cgomes, and 1,340,982 others
yourusername recents flicks x
username17 oh my god that dress is everything
username4 her and drew 🥰
drewstarkey 😍
username8 i really think she’s finally healed and that makes me so happy
alexandrasaintmleux can still hear charles singing sky fall 😭
⤷ yourusername remind me to never give him the mic at karaoke again
⤷ username45 so happy they still keep in touch
⤷ username92 yeah same but i also miss her and carmen&george
⤷ username67 what happened? 🙃
⤷ username92 well nothing specific but they stayed friends after her and alex broke up but i guess it just got kind of complicated and now the only interactions were really see of them is them liking each others posts
francisca.cgomes that dresssss lindaaa 🩷🌟
username62 pretty
username17 awww her and drew look adorable
⤷ username4 idk i still think she’s trying to find someone to recreate what she had with alex and it still hasn’t work but drew is the closest she’s come
⤷ username23 all while he’s still with the girl he got with like two weeks after they broke up
liked by williamsracing, georgerussell63, and 1,098,993 others
alex_albon she said yes! i can’t believe i get to marry my dream girl, as soon as i saw your face i knew i was gonna marry you. forever us, i love you 🐰
tagged lilymhe
username81 WHAT?!
username62 oh my god i would hate to be y/n rn
username12 after 2 years… but strung y/n along for 6 with not even a hint of a ring
⤷ username1 when yk yk i guess
georgerussell63 congrats mate x
carmenmmundt ❤️
username72 y/n y/l/n found screaming crying
⤷ username3 y/n is unbothered,, she has a man and is sooo over alex
lilymhe can’t wait to marry you,, to forever with you ❤️
⤷ username17 “to forever with you” i want to kms that’s exactly what y/n said on her last post w alex
alexandrasaintmleux congrats you guys ☺️
⤷ username4 oh to be in kika alex and y/n’s gc right now
landonorris ggggg
username71 this has to be slap in the face to y/n
albon_pets congrats alex 🐼 and lily 🐰 we love you guys ❤️
⤷ username44 albon pets using the bunny emoji for lily now when it was always for y/n is heartbreaking
username5 yellow cab light theory 🙃
⤷ username77 ??
⤷ username5 i just remember in satc miranda saying men are like cabs: “When they're available, their light goes on. They wake up one day and decide they're ready to settle down, have babies, whatever, and they turn their light on. The next woman they pick up — boom! That's the woman they marry.”
⤷ username14 yeah it also about how love isn’t about commitment but rather timing lolllll
⤷ username77 ohhhh so alex’s ‘light’ turned on after breaking up with y/n and it’s not that he’s more committed to lily but rather the timing is better for him than it was w y/n?
⤷ username5 basically 😳
liked by carmenmmundt, oliviarodrigo, and 1,997,928 others
yourusername you were holding out to find the opposite 🙃🐰
username61 they have hit the pentagon (again)
username1 oh my girl i thought we’d moved on
username73 she’s still at the restaurant 💔
username9 posting this while she has a whole ass bf 😭
⤷ username88 she gafff about that man in comparison to alex,, alex hung the stars for her
username23 “how am i supposed to close the door when i still need the closure?”
username14 “i saw you met somebody and im jealous as hell that i can’t even stomach loving somebody else” farkkkk they still kill me
⤷ username9 it’s been 2 years and she still can’t stomach it 🫤🫤😫
francisca.cgomes ❤️
username18 people using lyrics from emails i can’t send rn is making me want to cry ☹️
alexandrasaintmleux belle 🩷
username42 THE BUNNY NOOO
username16 everyone saying she’s moved on and doesn’t care obviously doesn’t remember how hard the break up hit for her like she was in love with that man
⤷ username45 they were meant to grow old together ☹️
⤷ username33 “i care but i don’t”
username62 he did end up w her anyway….
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
first alex fic!!! definitely not the last but pls let me know what you think xx
#alex albon#alex albon imagine#alex albon x reader#formula 1#f1 x reader#lily muni he#social media au#f1 social media au#williams racing#williams f1#george russell#alexandra saint mleux#francisca cerqueira gomes#george russell x reader#lando norris x reader#2019 rookies#logan sargent x reader#alexander albon#aa23 x reader#aa23
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ok yknow what i’m gonna say it
no matter how “bad” logan has been or how “little” he deserves this 2nd year or how he’s a “pay driver” or whatever else y’all always say
he doesn’t deserve this. any of this
since the very first moment he stepped in a f1 car, he’s been treated as a joke. first it was the wtf is a kilometre jokes then rah rah eagles and now logan in the wall / fork found in kitchen / deuxmoi memes. every weekend, the commentators compare him to his teammate, ignoring the difference in experience and the way they aren’t even driving the same car and that logan was literally running last years specs multiple times. they compare him to oscar, who has driven multiple times f1 cars during test runs and is in a mclaren and the situations are not even remotely similar, ignoring that logan was promoted early, that he didn’t have much opportunity to drive f1 cars even for testing, that he was literally tossed into the deep end without any help and told to survive.
the only time they were even remotely kind to him was when they gave his car to alex. which thanks for the support or whatever but that is so backhanded i don’t even have the words to describe it.
i think we’re all coming to the terms with the reality that this will be his last year in f1. and i don’t think that’s fair for so many reasons. you promote him early, you give him a shit car, you talk bad about him in the media and you don’t promote him (lap of legends hello?) and you openly court other drivers for his seat. you disrespect him and allow others to disrespect him and that’s not right.
formula 1 is the dream for so many people. imagine achieving your dream, even if it’s in a joke of a team, even if it’s too early. but then you become the joke of a joke, you become the american, which is a bad thing. the outsider, the one who doesn’t belong. they make fun of you each weekend. they ask every day when you’ll be replaced.
(and yeah i agree. he does need to improve to have any hope of keeping his seat, f1 is brutal and it’s never been kind, and i’m not being naive and thinking oh it’s his dream and so he deserves it despite it all. i’m not saying that. what i am saying is that is a human being, just like nicholas latifi was, and some of you are too comfortable being cruel.)
speaking of being the american. they make fun of you as though that will punish the fia for putting 3 us races on the calendar. as though that will punish all the american fans who came to f1 through drive to survive. as though that will keep f1 pure and european and whatever the fuck else - they do the same to yuki and zhou and checo and lewis and even if logan’s situation is not even remotely similar to what they’ve experienced, there’s a bias to f1 that cannot be ignored.
but that’s not the point i’m trying to make. not today
this was your dream. this was your dream. and you were never allowed to enjoy it because you became the punchline of a joke the minute you accepted the seat. it was always going to end like this. you knew that.
so yeah. congrats to logan for achieving his dream of driving in f1! it’s unfortunate that he was never allowed to live it.
#logan sargeant is just nicholas latifi in a different font#the joke the north american the scapegoat in a williams#the nicest people ever. the sweetest#and you ruin their lives again and again#williams#logan sargeant#f1#i’m just tired ok. like i think i’m gonna go cry for a little bit#its so tiring seeing him as the joke when he’s a person ok!! he wants to be here! he wants this just as much as everyone else#like imagine achieving your dream and then hating it. you get everything you every wanted and then you wish you never got any of it#i can only hope he does actually chose to accept a seat in indy car or some other motorsport#and not disappear like nicky did. bc that’s what happens when you break someone#and when you make them doubt all their talent and ruin their dream
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PART TWO
summary: by chance you and your emotionally unavailable husband meet a friendly couple that invite you stay at their farmhouse in scotland. however the time spent there with johnny & kyle has you questioning if there’s a dark side to them you didn’t see before.
a speak no evil au - masterlist
notes: manipulative johnny & kyle, piv, noncon, somno, never explicitly acknowledged abusive relationship between reader and her husband (financial, physical, emotional, coercive control), drinking, murder, it’s dead dove horror people!! heed the warnings
despite your best efforts, elliot’s words had gotten to you the night before and it had made you cautious to sit downstairs for breakfast; hyperaware of yourself and what kyle and johnny must have thought of you.
you decided to nip down to say good morning - it was only polite - and while you were there you could grab two coffees for yourself and elliot.
you ran into gaz as soon as you got down the stairs.
“morning, sleep ok? johnny said you weren’t hungry last night,” kyle said as soon as he saw you walk into the kitchen, a little concerned frown and pout pulling at his pretty face. “can i make you an omelette? pancakes?”
“pancakes?” you couldn’t help but ask with a smirk.
“johnny likes ‘em.” you snorted.
“an omelette would be good, thanks.”
kyle immediately got up and got to work in the kitchen, letting you take his seat so you were sat closest to the kitchen counter he stood at.
“where is johnny this morning?”
“out with the donkey, loves the early mornings. don’t think his body can get out of the habit of them,” kyle said with a fond roll of his eyes. “means i get to stay in bed and extra thirty though, so i don’t complain.”
he grabbed a mug from the cupboard when the electric kettle clicked off and made a quick drink.
“coffee?” he slid it onto the table next to you. “husband can’t knick this one, eh?”
“oh, thanks.” you took a long sip despite the heat.
“how’d you sleep?” kyle asked again, watching you.
“yeah, good, slept right through,” you lied. you’d tossed and turned all night with elliot groaning in his sleep and you knew you had bags under your eyes to prove it.
kyle nodded and turned back to the eggs he was scrambling in the pan alongside the grated cheese and chopped vegetables he’d chucked in.
“johnny had a great idea last night, and i don’t say that often,” kyle joked. “we thought we could take you out to this little restaurant, up near ballo reservoir and the ruins. it’s ran by an old mate of ours.”
“that sounds fun, yeah,” you agree. you smile a little wider when he turns around with your omelette and sits next to you. you look down at the plate and gawp. “bloody hell, that’s a big omelette.”
kyle laughed. “yeah i figured why make more pots to wash when we could just share,” he said and revealed two forks.
“oh.” you blinked. “…ok.”
kyle didn’t wait for you to change your mind before he was using the side of his fork to cut a mouthful of the omelette off.
“second day in the highlands, what were you thinking of doing?”
you finished chewing your own bite before answering. “elliot will need help during the day i think. hopefully he’ll be able to get a stable enough wifi connection to check his work emails.”
“fuck that,” gaz scoffed. “you should help me in the garden. johnny will sort out your husband if he needs a hand; soap’s got odd jobs around the house he’s doing to keep his hands busy anyways, so it’s no trouble for him to keep an eye on elliot.”
you hesitated, knowing elliot wouldn’t appreciate johnny’s rough handling, but you found it nigh impossible to say no to kyle’s big kind eyes. especially when he was leant in so close.
“then i guess i’m gardening today,” you said bashfully.
---
he showed you around the chicken coop first, let you throw a bit of grain down so the hens would swarm closer as you squatted down among them to pet lightly at their feathers.
“made the henhouse myself,” kyle told you smugly, his chest puffing out further when your head snapped towards him.
“no you fucking didn’t,” you said, your eyes raked over it as if seeing it fresh.
“alright, maybe i had a bit of help from a friend, john - not my johnny - was always handy in his time off during the service. gave him a call an’ he helped me figure it out when my first attempt didn’t go so well,” kyle admitted sheepishly.
you snickered and walked up to the small shed-like structure. you could see it was lovingly made, each decision during its creation had a practical use.
“you and johnny ran into any hobbies or skills you’re not good at?” you joked.
kyle huffed a laugh and tugged you out towards the vegetable plot across the garden. “can’t say we have, love.”
“oh, fuck you,” you laughed and shoved him as you came up to the first raised bed, knocking him of kilter.
“hey, hey watch for the onions,” he laughed as his knee bumped into the wooden side holding the budding vegetables.
“god, this place is huge,” you said wistfully as you rounded to the next bed and noticed the handmade markers.
carrots
tomms
tatties
gaz’s awful radishes
you grinned before running your hands gently along the beans growing high intertwined with the arches joining the raised beds to create a path down the centre towards the greenhouse.
“have some if you’d like,” kyle said and gestured to the pea pod resting on your fingers.
your gripped it tighter and tugged, pressing at the seam gently until it popped. the peas inside were huge, but it was always the crunchy casing that you enjoyed. you took a bite as gaz led you to the greenhouse and let out a deep hum at the refreshing taste.
“just wait until you try the strawberries,” he said teasingly, sliding open the the glass door.
he grabbed a clean empty bowl from the side and handed you it as you crouched to look at the strawberry plants lined up to the right of the spacious greenhouse.
“go ahead.”
you grinned and started picking the ripe ones, sneaking one or two to eat when kyle leant over your shoulder to steal his own.
you dropped the bowl off in the kitchen to rinse later on your way down to the barn.
“weren’t we gardening? why are we going to the barn?” you asked as he led you across the gravel and around the back of the garage.
he pulled open the barn doors with a grunt.
“to grab an extra pair of gardening gloves, but also to check up on marmite. she’s been a bit ill recently, caught her foot on something sharp in her paddock the other day so we’ve been trying to keep her still while she recovers,” kyle said and led you to the stable on the right.
you frowned before you saw the sweet little donkey stood, chomping at its bucket of hay.
“oh my god,” you whispered. “you actually have a donkey.”
kyle frowned at you, confused. “said so earlier didn’t i?”
“i couldn’t tell if you were pulling my leg or not.” you reached out and she slowly lumbered over to you, an obvious limp in one front leg. “will she be ok?”
“oh yeah, vet said she just needed to rest it, nothing major,” he reassured you. “plus she’s been through worse, she’s tough.”
you made an inquisitive noise as you gently petted between her ears and down to her nose.
“when we first found her she was pretty sick, left to rot in a field nearby, so we took her in. took a while for her to get back to full health, but now marmite gets to relax in her own paddock with the few sheep the neighbours let roam. sometimes we take her to the farmer’s market on the weekend when it’s good weather. she likes the work and the kids like to pet her, increases sales when people realise we’re authentic.” he scruffed roughly, but lovingly, under her ear before patting her neck. “give her another month and she’ll be back pulling her cart.”
you cooed, heart melting at the thought of her pulling her own cart with kids petting at her sides. “wait you called her marmite?” the donkey lifted her head at her name.
you bit your lip trying not to laugh as kyle turned an offended look towards you. “it’s a good name,” he defended.
you shook your head.
“this place is so fucking wonderful, kyle,” you said. “i think i could stay here forever,” you whispered.
he pulled you into his side and kissed your temple. “could if you wanted.”
you laughed at his joke and rolled your eyes. “oh yeah the commute to elliot’s work would be fine,” you teased.
kyle shrugged. “i’m sure we could find a solution to that.” you grabbed the gloves and a trowel and headed back towards the garden on a slow walk, waving to johnny through the kitchen window as you passed. “let’s get started on the garden, johnny’s wanting the rhubarb up.”
“making pie?”
“we were planning on going to the market in a couple of days time, if you wanted to come with us,” kyle offered casually. “it’s not like the overpriced shit they do in the city.”
you grinned and nodded. “do they always run it mid-week?”
“mid week every other week and the first weekend of every month,” he said. “you’ve missed the weekend one, which is a shame because it’s always busy and more vendors come.”
“i’m sure i’ll have a blast either way,” you reassured him. “will i be given free cheese like at the place des lices?”
kyle grinned, sharp and teasing. “i’ll bring a block with us if it keeps you hovering by me and johnny’s stall.”
you snorted and elbowed him as you reached the garden again. “behave.”
you dropped to a squat and started rustling through the large green leaves of the rhubarb until you found the base, twisting and pulling until it popped loose.
you chucked it into the bucket between you and gaz and grinned as he started to work beside you.
---
you spent the rest of the afternoon with him in the garden, only stopping to have lunch on the outside table - sandwiches johnny brought out with a teapot and two mugs on a tray - and gathered all of the vegetables and fruit that needed picking, whether to cook for themselves or for the market.
“do you go every week then?” you asked as you finally headed back to the house with your hands full and mucky from the soil.
your forehead was sweaty from the hard work but you didn’t feel uncomfortable, it felt good to have been useful and busy again.
“the market?” you nodded. “nah, we don’t have a big enough plot for growing. and it doesn’t bring enough in to make it worth it to expand. we just find it fun, enjoy getting out and seeing the locals every so often.”
“yeah you could probably go crazy staying out here alone for too long,” you laughed as you walked ahead of him into the house. “with sheep as your closest neighbours.”
kyle bit the inside of his cheek but you didn’t notice his silence.
“hey, good day?” you called out to your husband sat in the next room as you placed the vegetables on the table. when he didn’t reply you went through, careful to take your shoes off first so not to track mud inside. you leant over the back of the sofa and kissed his cheek, frowning when he sharply pulled away, glaring forward at the tv. “elliot?”
he stayed silent.
you slowly stood back up straight and waited for any sort of reaction for him before heading back to the kitchen. you knew how he got when he was in a foul mood, and you could see this one a mile off, there was no reason to push your luck.
stuck in your own head you were taken by surprise when johnny suddenly grabbed you by the hips, his bright eyes and toothy smile an inch too close to be casual as you looked up at him.
“fuckin’ hell, yer glowing, lass,” he boasted. “farm work looks good on ye.”
he patted one hip and winked before letting you go to clung to his husband. leant over kyle’s shoulder at the sink where he was rinsing the soil away from his hands and the root veg you’d picked, johnny pulled his husband’s chin towards him and kissed him.
you felt rooted to the spot as the pair opened their mouths wide enough to slip their tongues against the other’s, spit slicking lips and connecting what little space was given in thin strings as they swapped soft moans and heavy breaths. it was a private moment, intimate, but you couldn’t pull yourself away even as your stomach tightened and your throat became dry.
they pulled away, barely an inch, but enough for gaz to speak.
“don’t forget about that restaurant tonight, love,” he directed at you. “dress up a little, it’s like a chef’s table.”
your husband perked up from the other room at the mention of a chef’s table - never one to pass on an opportunity that made him look rich and important like the man he worked for, always searching for another story to brag about to his mates.
“what time? is the chef anyone i’d have heard of?”
johnny stifled a mocking laugh into kyle’s shoulder, one hand wandering beneath gaz’s jumper.
“nah, mate, he’s a bit lowkey this guy. doesn’t do social media or the like. invite only to his place.”
elliot’s eyebrows raised and he leant further over the sofa arm to talk. “and we’ve been invited then?”
“aye. we have.”
“do you want help changing, elliot?” you asked, but before your husband could find fault in your offer, johnny interrupted.
“i’ll help the wee injured lad, hen. you go get all bonnie for the meal, take your time getting all fancy f’r it,” he said, finally detaching himself from kyle.
“oh, ok.” you nodded when elliot didn’t immediately complain and headed upstairs, grimacing at the soil beneath your fingernails that you still hadn’t washed off. you sniffed yourself and grimaced at the thin layer of sweat clinging to you. you grabbed your towel and headed to the bathroom.
“fancy,” you’d scoffed to yourself in your bedroom after a quick shower.
you weren’t sure you could count anything you’d packed for the week as fancy or pretty enough for an invite-only restaurant.
you pulled out a black dress you’d packed in case you and elliot got some time alone. now that you were here you knew how unlikely that was but you were appreciating the foresight now.
the dress wasn’t anything special, not something you’d have chosen to eat out in if you had access to your other clothes at home; it went below your knees but the plunge of the neckline would have elliot grinding his teeth if you wore it around gaz and soap.
you bit your lip before making the split second decision to wear it anyway. a voice at the back of your head whispering insistently and repeatedly that kyle and johnny would love it.
you finished getting ready before considering the shoes you’d brought with you.
your hiking boots, trainers, and a pair of floral patterned wellies. “fuck.”
hadn’t thought that far ahead when you’d packed the dress, clearly. you sighed and headed down the stairs anyway. smiling when you caught johnny and kyle’s eyes.
“trying to kill us, hen? where have ye been hiding this little number?”
“give us a spin,” kyle ordered, and you followed suit without a second thought.
“yer a lucky man, elliot. very lucky indeed.” johnny patted your husband’s shoulder. “go get yer shoes on, hen, and we’ll set off.”
you felt your cheeks heat. you pointed down to your trainers next to the door. “i don’t have anything i can wear with them except my trainers,” you winced.
“oh that won’t do, what size are ye?” johnny asked, waiting by the door until you answered. “same size as my sister then. she’s left a few bits here when she’s visited before, i’ll see if i can find anythin’ in storage. she’d nae mind.”
he was gone and back again in a flash and you were handed a pair of black heels to step into. you thanked him and shakily stood, the heel far taller than what you were used to and the strap thin and barely providing support.
“oh god,” you huffed as you wobbled in place.
“need a hand?” johnny offered his arm and you clung on as you headed towards the door.
“christ, it’ll take all night to get to the car with her like this,” elliot complained behind you, kyle supporting him under his arm.
“i don’t think you’re one to talk right now since she’s still looking steadier on her feet than you,” kyle said bluntly. elliot’s ankle had lost the swelling and was simply wrapped beneath his socks and shoes for support, but he’d never been good with pain and you knew he’d take an extra few days to make sure his suffering was known.
you were inclined to agree with kyle that the injury was small, just needed a bit of rest to heal, but the bruising around the bone had you worrying about elliot driving at the end of the week and wondering if it had been worse than gaz had figured, and whether a sprain - or god forbid, a break - would need seeing to sooner rather than later.
johnny’s arm had gravitated to hold you around the waist as you drifted in your thoughts, leaving you to grip his wrist and his other hand for stability as he led you towards the car over the gravel. you felt your life flash before your eyes a handful of times as your ankles struggled not to cockle and keep you upright on the short walk, and you sighed in relief when you finally got in the car.
next time you’d wear the bloody wellies if it meant not having to wear shoes like this. god knows how johnny’s sister managed it.
---
kyle and johnny took the time during the drive to boast about simon - the chef and an old friend of theirs - and his restaurant; focusing on his cooking skills and mentioning only that he was a take-no-shit type of bloke, so not to be offended when he wasn’t particularly chatty.
“think the most i’ve ever heard him talk was when i asked what was in that soup he made last time,” soap snorted.
kyle parked up next to the single car parked by the side of the road, his headlights shining on the ruins a few hundred yards ahead of them.
to the right along a small cobbled path was a two story building that looked more like a house from the outside than a restaurant.
behind it sat the reservoir, black and still in the low moonlight.
the location was gorgeous but solitary and you wondered how he kept his lights on without foot traffic before laughing at your thoughts. it’s invite-only, this guy - simon, you reminded yourself - obviously didn’t need foot traffic to get by.
you held on to johnny tightly once more as you walked towards the building and found that its outside looks deceived you when you stepped inside and found the front room had been renovated into the dining area. it sat only one table in the centre but it was cosy, welcoming, professional. you assumed the back section of the old house’s ground floor had been adapted into a professional kitchen and storage space.
johnny led the group towards the lone table, big enough to seat four, and pulled out your chair, taking his seat opposite you after.
you’d been sat barely a minute before the door to the back swung open and a large, hulking man wearing a surgery mask and an apron walked over. he untied his apron once gaz stood up, holding it in one hand when the shorter man leant in for a hug, slinging his trunk of an arm over kyle’s shoulders.
“good to see you again, simon,” gaz said as he pulled back. “how you been doing?”
“good,” simon grunted, with a nod. he waved johnny forward with a weary flick of his wrist, but you could see the fondness in his eyes when johnny clapped his back and clung on.
“cannae wait ta see what you’ve got planned fer us t’night, si,” johnny said as he pulled back.
“wait ten minutes an’ you’ll find out, won’ ya?” simon said.
johnny huffed.
“simon, this is the couple we were telling you about that we’d met last month,” kyle said.
“french riviera.” simon nodded.
“nice to meet you,” you said. “these two were singing your praise on the way over so i’m excited to be here.”
simon smiled at you before flicking his towards kyle and johnny with a raised eyebrow.
you felt like you were being made fun of, talked about despite the silence, and you didn’t like it.
“when’s first course then simon?” johnny asked.
simon sighed. “was waiting for you to turn up, wasn’t i?” he said before slinking off to the back, barely sparing a glance for your husband during the entire exchange.
you’d quickly forgotten the uneasy feeling when the food came out; stuffed mushrooms for the starter and lamb served with smoked aubergine and caramelised onions and a robuchon-style mash that you’d practically inhaled after the first bite for the main. now you were just eagerly awaiting dessert.
it was overall one of the best meals you’d ever had, only highlighted by the fruity cocktails simon had impressed you all with and the silly jokes he’d told when he poured them. you didn’t know how he managed it all alone; or you assumed he was alone, with no conversations bleeding out from the kitchen when the doors opened and no face other than simon’s seen.
you slouched in your chair, wholly satisfied with the evening, and reached to hold elliot’s hand on the table at the same time that gaz looked to johnny lovingly.
he leant in and gently kissed his cheek, pulling back to stare in one another’s eyes and share the moment just between the two.
elliot sniffed at the display, looking down at his plate. “so you two, how’d you meet again?”
“met officially when we were put on a mission together, but i’d see johnny around base and at the nearest pub on our days off before that,” kyle said.
“he didnae have the time of day fer me at first,” johnny laughed, his arm moving under the table as he rubbed at kyle’s thigh.
“saw him strike out with half the men and women in the bar, gave me the ick,” gaz joked. “asked me out more than a dozen times.”
“an’ yet he was the one that got down on one knee all teary eyed in the end,” johnny disclosed.
“realised thick-headed scot’s were my type after all, came to my senses,” kyle cooed.
“sorry, you said men and women?” elliot asked, suddenly visibly invested in the conversation.
his eyes were sharp and you new he was thinking back to your conversation in france when you’d reassured him neither man would be interested in flirting with you. you were still convinced they were just tactile people, especially given how they had greeted simon, but you had to admit that the last few days had been filled with odd moments that had you questioning your own feelings. either way you knew elliot would be like a dog with a bone after this, would try and use it to cause an argument after such a great evening.
“aye. he did.” johnny nodded.
“so you’re not… gay then,” elliot hedged.
you kicked his leg beneath the table and gaz snorted.
“nah mate. we’re not,” gaz said.
“so then…”
“elliot,” you hissed. “stop prying.”
“i’m bi,” kyle said with an easy shrug before elliot could react to your reprimand.
your eyes flickered to johnny, meeting the bright blue head on as he was already watching you before he looked at your husband.
“i don’t put labels on things, limits me,” johnny sniffed. he looked back to you as he spoke next. “i like pretty people with bonnie accents and big doe eyes. like gaz here.” he turned to his husband with a cheeky grin.
gaz snorted again, mirthfully this time.
“cannae say no to him ever, jus’ ask him,” johnny said and you silently agreed.
“like you ever want to, i’m full of good ideas.” gaz pouted.
“why ye asking anyway, elliot? feeling the urge to join us?” johnny licked at his teeth, predatory as he stared down your husband.
elliot choked out a startled ‘no’ and shook his head, making the couple laugh at his urgent insistence.
“for the best i think. i dunno if you’d be able to keep up, no offence,” gaz said condescendingly. “we don’t tend to play vanilla.”
your eyes widened as a sudden slew of scenarios involving the two handsome men in front of you flashed before your eyes. you did your best to keep your face straight even as elliot frowned and scoffed.
“what, you like to tie each other up?” he rolled his eyes with a huff of a laugh.
kyle didn’t rise to the bait. “we do all sorts. don’t think there’s much we haven’t tried at this point.”
johnny grinned at him.
“even like… gags and spanking?” you asked, sudden and unbidden, the words needing to be answered even as you felt your entire body heat in embarrassment.
“yeah, hen, we’ve tried those a few times,” johnny said gently but eagerly. his foot knocked against yours beneath the table and you fought not to jump or flinch. “what we’re into at the moment though is roleplay.”
“can have a lot of fun with it,” kyle agreed.
“you’re kidding me,” elliot said, disbelief colouring his voice.
“not at all, watch,” johnny said before standing, hooking his napkin over his arm and holding it in front of him like a waiter. he cleared his throat before lilting his voice slightly higher, like he was using his ‘phone voice’. “was everything to your satisfaction tonight?”
“it was fantastic,” kyle said, immediately playing along. he slouched into his chair. “the dessert though, was a little lackluster. i wanted something with a bit of a bite.”
johnny raised his eyebrow. “i might be able to help with that, sir.” he leant forward as though to grab his plate, but instead knocked his fork to the floor. “oh no, silly me.”
“you better grab that, hm?” kyle asked, spreading his legs as johnny immediately fell to his knees, crowding close.
kyle looked over at you and elliot and grinned at your shocked, engrossed faces. he lifted the table cloth and covered johnny’s head and curved back. he hid one hand beneath, resting it on the back of his husband’s head, scratching through his mohawk.
your breath started to come short as you heard the fly of kyle’s trousers go and then suddenly it was all you could do not to squirm and add to the noises coming from the other side of the table. the room was silent, not a word from your husband for the first time in years, and the kitchen seemed to have stilled while johnny hummed and gagged.
kyle groaned and huffed, his smiles tilting the breathless noises into half laughs as johnny seemingly sucked the life out of him.
you’d never held yourself so still, not daring to check what elliot’s reaction was as you stared between kyle’s pleasured face and johnny’s bobbing head beneath the cloth.
suddenly the pair stopped, and johnny threw the table cloth up with a grin, laughing alongside kyle as you and you and your husband tried to catch your bearings at the reveal of the unconventional joke.
“just fuckin’ with ye,” johnny said as he sat back in his chair.
you shakily laughed along, avoiding eye contact as you pressed a hand to one cheek, hoping to ease the heat you could feel emanating, knowing that between your legs was no better.
“don’t worry we’d ask before including you in anything,” kyle said. “even if we just wanted you to watch.”
“though when we open up the relationship it’s usually to get the third person involved. cannae help but touch, watching’s nae enough,” johnny added, heated as he glanced at you.
“i’ve never done that before,” you said softly, too brusk to be a whisper. “be with two people at once that is.”
you hadn’t realised elliot had spoken at the same time, his words only just registering as you watched johnny’s gaze simmer.
“we’re not interested.”
we.
there he went answering for the both of you again.
“right?” he pushed.
you looked at him out of the corner of your eye, fearful of what his reaction would be until johnny’s foot knocked yours again. you felt a sudden surge of confidence.
“i think this might be the first time you’ve ever said no to having sex with someone that wasn’t me, elliot.”
your husband sputtered, only embarrassed further when gaz whistled low and soap shook his head, privy already to the failings of your relationship and at a loss as to why your husband could have ever made the choices he had.
“well, if yer not up to it, elliot, we wouldnae push,” johnny said. “in fact it’d mean you’d have the entire bed to ye’self while we kept bonnie company for the night. more room fer you to spread out as ye sleep.”
you felt your body run cold as you thought back to your first night; you’d thought perhaps one of them had overheard elliot’s thoughtless comments but you hadn’t realised they’d heard the entire conversation.
you laughed awkwardly at johnny’s suggestion as elliot insisted a little too seriously that nothing of the like would be happening.
simon thankfully interrupted the stand off between the three men at the table as he brought through dessert; a light chocolate sorbet with fresh raspberries.
you thanked him and took the opportunity to share the joke you’d been trying to remember since simon had shared his first pun when he’d brought out the starters.
“how does a french chef respond to bad egg jokes?” you asked and waited for simon’s shrug. “oeuf..."
you saw his eyes crinkle and assumed that was as close to a laugh that you’d get, feeling quite pleased with yourself.
“that’s a shit joke,” he said, but the amusement was clear in his voice. “enjoy your dessert.”
“thank you.” you took a big bite, groaning deep at the rich taste and tartness of the fruit. the prospect of brain-freeze unable to slow you down.
“fucking hell, would you behave?” elliot hissed in your ear.
gaz dropped his spoon with a clatter, and sniffed harshly, looking across at elliot with clear disdain.
“you need to stop disrespecting her, mate. she’s an adult, she’s enjoying a meal; leave her alone.”
“was i talking to you?” elliot said back, eager for the fight. “you don’t see me interfering with your relationship.”
“yeah, exactly. your lips were sealed when you thought johnny had my dick in his mouth at the table, but now you think you can get snappy?”
“she’ll learn her manners even if she does insist on being friends with you two,” elliot said.
you felt anger bubble at being ignored, talked about as though you weren’t there by both men.
johnny noticed your discomfort and nudged gaz, his posture loosening when he saw your lowered head, jutted jaw and the embarrassed purse of your lips.
“maybe we’ve all had too much to drink,” johnny said appeasingly. “more than we’d realised. simon’s always been a strong pour.”
“i agree. not that the cocktails weren’t lovely, but they must’ve gone to everyone’s heads quicker than expected. they were moorish,” you laughed, though it sounded thin and fake to your own ears.
gaz huffed through his nose heavily. he nodded and looked at you as he spoke. “i’ll go settle up with simon. if you need a hand walking back to the car you could wait with me?”
you nodded when elliot didn’t protest and johnny got up to help him.
you waited with gaz near the back of the room where simon had set up a little till station, a bowl of mints to the side that you felt swell of fondness for as you looked at them.
simon picked up on the awkward air immediately when he came out from the back, watched with keen eyes as you shuffled from foot to foot and sent anxious glances out the window in between compliments to the food.
“‘m making a cake soon,” he said out of the blue as gaz tapped his card, and you turned back to him, interest piqued. “any recommendations on flavour? bit tied at the minute.”
“oh.” you blinked. “i had a lemon poppyseed cake a few years ago that was to die for.”
simon watched you steadily for a moment before humming. he handed kyle his receipt. “tell johnny it was good t’see ’im.”
“you too, si.”
kyle offered you his arm to walk back to the car and you took it gladly, letting him help you to keep your footing until you were situated in the back with elliot.
the drive back felt exponentially longer in the silence. the lack of music, johnny’s chatter, or even your own ramblings had you on edge.
the silence from elliot continued into the house as he winced and hobbled up the stairs alone, refusing any more help than he’d already been forced to rely upon.
you followed behind him dutifully, mouthing a soft ‘thank you’ to gaz and soap at the stairs before disappearing into your room.
elliot waited for the door to close before he rounded on you.
“‘i’ve never done that before’,” he simpered, pitching his voice higher to mock you.
“elliot, i—“
“go ahead try and explain your way out of that one, hm? practically threw yourself at them,” he spat.
you scoffed.
“its not like i said yes to fucking them,” you reminded him, not mentioning the urge you’d felt at the time to do just that.
“didn’t say no either, did you?” elliot asked, his voice raising. “i think they were planning on bloody bedding you tonight in fact.”
“fucking hell. you’re being dramatic and- and silly,” you said in disbelief. “they were playing around. christ knows if i can get over what you did, then you can deal with them flirting a little.”
he moved swiftly despite his ankle and grabbed your arm tightly, ignoring your sharp gasp as he glared at you. “you need to start listening to me. we’re married, if you remember? so start behaving like it.”
“you’re hurting me, elliot.” when he didn’t let go you nodded quickly and spoke again. “i understand.”
“good.” he nodded and bent down to kiss your lips chastley. “then let’s go to bed.”
he let you go and limped over to the bed. you joined him a moment later, shaken as you tried to calm yourself enough to lay next to him and pretend to sleep.
---
johnny had set up breakfast outside the next morning while kyle had sorted out their few animals and checked for any stray sheep that needed to be shepherded closer to their neighbour’s land; taking their truck around the edge of the property.
“hey, got some brekkie outside if ye want to join? kyle’ll be back any minute now.”
you nodded and helped elliot across the garden as johnny brought the fresh orange juice with him for the table.
you thanked johnny for the broad spread and plated yourself some of the mixed fruit. when you heard a door slam, you turned to the driveway and saw kyle making his way down the side of the house to reach the garden. he waved when he caught you looking, readjusting his cap so his face wasn’t hidden by the brim as he came closer.
he bent to kiss johnny’s scarred temple before taking his seat and stealing a sip of his coffee, wincing at the bitterness.
“you tell ‘em yet?” kyle asked johnny in a low tone, putting the mug back and pouring himself a juice.
“not yet,” johnny replied. he cleared his throat when elliot lifted an eyebrow in question, having stayed stubbornly silent with johnny and now kyle. still moody from the evening before.
johnny sighed, almost awkwardly. “look, we didn’t mean to overhear, but conversations echo in an old home like ours,” he started. you immediately went cold. “there’s been a few things we’ve both heard over the last few days—“
elliot jumped in, finding his voice suddenly in the face of his reputation being squandered, even if it was just johnny and kyle. “whatever you heard was between myself and my wife. it’s an old mistake and we’ve worked through it to heal any wounds caused. we’re happier than ever now, aren’t we?” he threw his arm behind you to rest in the back of your chair, the picture of a perfect couple. you nodded placidly. he turned back to them. “our therapist is fantastic.”
“therapist?” kyle asked.
“yes, a couple’s therapist, but you see her a couple times a month alone too, don’t you, darling?” elliot said.
“we needed someone impartial to help us see through the fog,” you said, repeating the words elliot had used over a year ago to convince you to stay. “we were just running in circles about it.”
kyle nodded. “how’d you find this therapist then?”
“elliot found her,” you said.
“lucky she was such a good fit if she was the first one you tried,” kyle said mirthfully.
“well she’d helped me before so i knew she was good at her job,” elliot let slip.
you stiffened and slowly turned to face him. “what?”
“she just gave me some advice, helped me out of a few toxic relationships when i was younger, darling. nothing serious like us. i haven’t been married before if that’s what you’re thinking,” elliot tried to joke.
it was not what you were thinking. it was not what you were worrying about.
“when you were ‘younger’? you’ve known her for years?” you questioned. “she was meant to be fucking unbiased and you’re telling me you’ve used her to get you out of relationships before? what the fuck, elliot?” you seethed, your voice raising.
“darling—“
“you told me she was trustworthy!” you laughed mirthlessly as you thought back to your first session. “you said you’d never met her before, just another fucking lie for the tally is it? it’s feeling pretty endless at this point,” you scoffed.
elliot’s lips thinned as he pulled his arm back and looked at you, debating his next move.
“we went to university together,” he admitted. “we’re just friends.”
“oh christ, ‘friends’. good to know the woman i’ve been telling my deepest, darkest thoughts to has more personal loyalty to you and whether or not she’d keep my secrets is one too many drinks away,” you spat.
“she takes her work very seriously, she wouldn’t break confidentiality like that. she’s never told me anything you’ve said in a session that i wasn’t there for,” elliot pressed, reaching to hold your hand.
“and why should i believe you?” you yanked your hand back and stood, storming off towards the woodland at the back of the garden.
“always with the dramatics.” elliot shook his head. he stood and took a step to follow you but winced when the pressure on his ankle spiked a sharp ache up his shin.
soap and gaz stayed seated, watching him struggle silently.
when he slumped back into his seat johnny spoke up. “why don’t we take ye back inside? give her some space.”
elliot bit the inside of his cheek but knew disagreeing wasn’t an option. he jerkily nodded once.
kyle kept an eye on you as you stopped near the tree line, smiled, amused, when he saw you kick at a nearby tree trunk. you weren’t going any deeper into the start of the trail so there was no need for them to bother you, you needed time to process and work through your initial anger.
he grabbed a plate for himself and started to eat, grabbing bits he knew johnny would want when he got back. there was no point in wasting a dewy fresh morning and good food just because elliot was a moron.
they’d finished majority of their share of the food when they heard your footsteps heading back. you hadn’t lingered at the end of the grass for long, deciding to join them once more with a ducked head and an embarrassed hunch to your shoulders.
“are ye ok?” johnny asked carefully.
“yeah, yeah. fine. just annoyed, more than anything. embarrassed i made such a scene.”
“don’t be, if it were me ah’d ‘ve gone bananas hearing all’a that.” johnny waved you off.
“there’s only so much someone can take,” kyle added.
you nodded and felt a stray tear slip and in a flash the pair of them were tugging you out of your seat to wrap you in a warm hug.
“thank you, guys,” you said as you squeezed them back. you sent a weary look towards the house as the one thought that had been going around your head for the last half hour - the last year if you were being honest.
you were going to divorce elliot.
“you’ve done so much for us, for me, these last couple of days. how about i cook for you guys tonight? i make a pretty mean lasagne if you’ve got the stuff?”
the couple grinned. “i think we could find what you need.”
you finished your breakfast and headed back inside after the couple waved of your offer to help clear the table.
“we’ve got a bit to catch up on around the farm that we’ve put off since you arrived,” kyle said. “we’ll be back later on, but feel free to go where you like on the property, do what you like.”
“make ye’sen anything from the fridge if ye get hungry,” johnny added.
which left you with a slow day to entertain yourself. with kyle’s. words echoing in your mind you headed to the large bookcase on the living room and grabbed the first book that caught your eye. sitting in the armchair diagonal to the sofa where elliot was watching their tv from, you curled up and silently began to read. you weren’t ready to talk to elliot yet, but you knew he’d need a hand throughout the day and you didn’t want to add onto johnny and kyle’s already long list of things to do.
you caught gaz and soap nipping in and out throughout the day and when it timed right, you refilled their flasks with steaming tea before they were off out again.
the book lasted you the day, thoroughly engrossing you in the story, and elliot played nice for once, giving his p’s and q’s when you handed him a fresh cuppa and even cautiously squeezing your hip in appreciation when you passed by towards the end of the day.
“i’m making lasagne,” you said as he waited for your response.
“sounds lovely, darling.”
you were still angry at him, but it turned to despondency when you saw that johnny had taken the time to set the ingredients aside for you on the counter and in the fridge. elliot had never done that for you.
such small things were missing, it wasn’t just his cheating, but that had been the linchpin for this longwinded realisation that you just weren’t happy together.
you lost yourself in the preparation of the meal, not noticing your company as you started layering the sauces and pasta sheets. johnny and gaz came lumbering in, clearly tired but obviously satisfied with the work they’d completed in the day and hovered by your side.
“ah hen, that looks good. think i could eat the lot t’ ma’sael,” johnny groaned.
“you bloody dare,” kyle threatened, leaning ober his shoulder to see what you were doing. “we’ll clean up upstairs and leave you to it.”
“it should be cooked in the next 40 minutes, so take your time,” you said, gently elbowing them away so you could put the tray in the oven.
they nodded, and you got to cleaning up after yourself.
a nudge at your hip what felt like only a few minutes later had you looking up in surprise and smiling at kyle as he dried the dishes you’d washed. it was painfully domestic and you looked over your shoulder to see johnny wiping down the countertops.
“has kyle told ye ‘bout the market?”
“yeah, in two days’ time right?”
“aye, you should come with us when we go. will be a right laugh,” johnny offered.
“i’d love to,” you agreed, not sparing a thought for how elliot would deal with the journey or get around the market once he was there with you. you wanted to be selfish about this. “what are you thinking of taking?”
“got a fair bit of fruit and veg lined up, some pickles stuff i’ve been working on, a few woodwork projects gaz brings along,” johnny listed.
“you sell your work?”
“just small stuff like fence signs, ‘welcome home’ plaques, small coffee tables,” kyle said bashfully.
“you should bring your charcoal drawings too, johnny, i bet people would love to see their countryside lovingly captured,” you suggested.
“ah, maybe,” he hedged. you huffed, surprised that this was what got the pair shy. “should’ve brought some’a yer own paintings to sell, bon.”
“oh fuck, i forgot my paint set at home,” you said, deflated. “i was really looking forward to painting sometime. in fact today would’ve been perfect for it.” you pouted, annoyed at yourself doubly.
“ye can just borrow some of my stuff,” johnny said easily. “what’s mine is yours, yeah?”
you blinked. ���uhm, sure.” you cleared your throat. “thank you, johnny,” you said a little more gratefully.
“think that lasagne might be finished,” kyle said as he stood. “i’ll set the table.”
you nodded and went to help elliot while johnny pulled out the dish and scooped it onto four plates.
“looks delicious, you’ve outdone ye’self here,” johnny cooed. you grinned and felt pride bloom when all three of the men sat at the table groaned at the taste.
“can i make a toast before you all finish in one bite?” you asked playfully. kyle was quick to nod and put down his fork, swapping it for his glass of water. “to lasting friendships and new starts.”
elliot frowned but lifted his glass.
“cheers tae tha’,” johnny said, taking a quick swig before shovelling another spoonful off his plate.
---
with dinner a certified success and your mind made up about your marriage, you found it easier to forgive your husband for what he’d let slip at breakfast.
you headed to bed, peaceful in your decision, and smiled at elliot as you changed into your pyjamas.
“darling…” he started, hesitant for one of the first times in your relationship. you sat next to him on the bed, ignoring the way it squeaked beneath your weight. “i truly am sorry for not telling you— for lying to you about sarah. she’s the most qualified person i know in the field, i just wanted the best for you, for us. i didn’t think about how it would look in the long run.”
of course he didn't, because he never thought about how you felt. you took his hand and rubbed your thumb over his knuckles.
“i forgive you, elliot. mistakes happen,” you said simply.
“yeah?” he asked, his grin and confidence growing. he slipped his hand free to cup your face and pulled you in for an eager kiss. “thank you, darling. i knew you’d understand.”
his eyes darkened as he looked at you, his hand dropped from your cheek to your shoulder and trailed down the long sleeved shirt you slept in.
“you know, you were right at dinner the other night,” he said, and plucked at the bottom of the shirt. “we haven’t had much time for each other recently. maybe we should rectify that.”
of everything you could've guessed elliot would have said to you after everything, that wouldn't have been one of them.
“your ankle,” you reminded him stiltedly. “you’re meant to rest .”
“i’ve been resting,” he said impatiently. “but either way, i’m sure we can work around that.”
“the walls are thin,” you said, hoping it came across as shy instead of reluctant. you were disinclined to fuck your husband now that you’d accepted you wanted better, more.
but you supposed you could give him a quick handjob and call it a night, his complaints be damned. you saw the frustration bleed clearer in his expression with each excuse.
you pushed him back into the pillows and climbed over him to settle in close at his side. guiding his chin up you kissed him in soft little pecks that led across his cheek until you could nuzzle along his jaw and gently nip and lick at his neck. you lifted your palm up and licked a broad stripe across before slipping it beneath his boxers, soaking up his groan as your slick palm wrapped around his base.
you always were a sucker for knowing you were doing a good job, even now when you weren't too invested.
you pulled him free from his boxers and tightened your grip as you moved in deliberate, slow pumps. keeping your eyes low, you watched the first spurt of pre dribble down before it was quickly gathered by your fingers and spread laxly over his head and back down the shaft.
“oh fuck, that’s it, darling. just a bit quicker and tighter for me, go on,” he encouraged.
you did as he asked, twisting your wrist and pressing your thumb to his slit. you felt him shudder and the arm he’d wrapped around you tightened incrementally.
“feel good?” you asked and squeezed tighter on your next pump. he was leaking enough that the glide was slick and easy, the friction causing him to groan.
“fuck, i think im gonna- gonna cum,” he whined and you took that as a hint to focus on his head, swirling your palm in tight motions until his hips were lifting off of the bed to push into your sticky grip. he came with a low gasp, his breath hot and damp across your forehead.
you waited for him to hiss in sensitivity before you let him go and sat up, keeping your palm away from your clean pjs.
“just let me wash up then we can go to sleep,” you said.
elliot sleepily nodded, his eyes already half closed. you sighed.
---
with a jolt, you suddenly woke with elliot hovering over you; he was already dressed, though the lack of light itching to burst past the curtains let you know it wasn’t yet morning. you were disoriented and confused as he whispered rushed mutterings.
“elliot?”
“shh,” he held his finger to his lips, eyes flickering to the bedroom door. “you need to pack, we have to go.”
“what? no, what time is it?” you sat up and brushed his hands away from you. he stopped tugging at your arm and instead pulled away the duvet.
“there was an emergency, we have to go. now.” elliot repeated. “please darling, quickly.”
“an emergency?” your ears pricked even as you read the time, 5am, on your phone. “what emergency?”
“i’ll explain on the way,” he said vaguely, finally pulling you out of the bed and hissing when he pressed too much weight on his ankle.
“elliot, slow down. just tell me what’s happened, im not leaving here without saying goodbye to—“
“shut up. for once just do as i say,” elliot rounded on you suddenly and gripped your neck tightly. you reflexively pulled at his wrist to ease up the pressure and nodded as best you could with his broad palm pressed snugly against your throat, his thumb and fingers hooked at the edges of your jaw. “we’re leaving. we have to go, and i mean now.”
he let you go and you stayed quiet, muffling your coughs into your elbow. he was hasty in his own packing, rushing you along all the while and stumbled with his bag on the stairs, irritating his injury enough to let out a sharp gasp.
you ducked under his arm and helped him hop to the car, sending pensive looks behind you the whole time, guilt churning in your gut.
“are you sure you can drive, elliot?” you asked finally, hesitating to put on your seatbelt once you were sat in the passenger seat.
he shushed you rudely and gritted his teeth as he pressed on the clutch.
the drive back down the winding lanes towards the main road was rough, the car stuttering every time elliot’s ankle succumbed to and crumbled under the pressure he needed for the clutch, his leg flinching up and the seatbelt catching you before you jerked too far forward.
“where’s my phone? i need to call work, i need— where is it?” he hissed, patting his pockets and checking the holders in the car, hardly watching the road.
“you don’t have it?” you asked, confused.
“it was charging on your side of the bed,” he reminded you impatiently.
“then how did you know about the emergen—“ you realised with a sudden sick roll of your stomach, that he’d lied. again.
he was pissy you had a few days left of the holiday, that he wasn’t enjoying himself but you were. you had two days left but he he didn’t want to be around them anymore so he faked an emergency, because surely he’d have had his phone if that were true. fuck, no wonder he was being vague about it all, he wanted time to make up something detrimental at work or perhaps even to do with a friend that would be fine with lying to you. he certainly had his pick of them.
he span the car around angrily and you held on to the door handle as the tyres squealed. “you’ll need to go in and get it as quickly as possible.”
“sure,” you said blandly. you were sick of trusting him and getting fucked over for it every time. would you ever learn?
yes. the divorce would make this the last time you let him walk all over you.
you didn’t bother trying to quieten your steps along the gravel back up to the house. part of you hoped johnny or kyle heard your steps and came down to stop you leaving while the other half worried what elliot would do if you dawdled.
you mumbled to yourself, pissed off and chuntering, as you walked into the kitchen, expecting it to be empty and to be able to nip upstairs and grab elliot’s mobile and be gone again, an apologetic text already drafted in your mind for johnny and kyle.
however the pair of them were already in the kitchen, a third man stood with them. johnny jumped from his chair and wrapped you in his arms immediately, causing you to squeak when he squeezed tight.
“we were worried you’d left,” gaz said from where he leant against the kitchen counter, the mysterious man stood silent opposite him. “fretting we’d done something wrong.”
johnny let you go finally so you could reply, his big blue eyes staring down at you intensely.
“oh, uhm, i’m sorry,” you started, stuttering through an explanation. an excuse. “we uhm, we did go but it’s because i woke with bad stomach pains.” you felt yourself retreat into your shoulders, hunched and embarrassed with such focused attention on you. “elliot was worried, said we should go to the hospital maybe, uhm, so we left without saying goodbye. in a hurry. sorry.”
you noticed the third man staring at your neck and reflexively lifted a hand to cover the area, hoping to feel whatever he was staring at, thinking your shirt might've had the tag stuck out at the front given how dazedly you'd dressed earlier. instead you sucked in a thin breath when your hand pressed against sensitive bruising.
you broke eye contact immediately and dropped your hand to your collar bone, felt your cheeks heat in a putrid mix of anger and humiliation.
“we found his phone in yer room still,” johnny said and pulled elliot’s mobile from his back pocket. “glad ye came back fer it, but if yer ill was it really so important?”
you floundered for a moment, eyes glued to his hand, before gaz spoke up.
“might’ve just been the booze from last night, yeah? sometimes it doesn’t settle well, simon forgets what the average person can stomach,” kyle said. he winked. “it’d be especially rough for lightweights.”
you rolled your eyes playfully but didn’t deny it.
“it still hurting?” johnny asked, his free hand drifting close so his fingertips could trace your stomach lightly in the opening of your jacket.
you clamped your own hand over your soft tummy and nodded, feigning a stomach ache.
“let me make ye some chucky eggs and a chamomile tea to ease it off,” johnny offered and dropped elliot’s phone on the table roughly. “a light hangover cure coming right up, don’t figure you’d want a hearty, greasy brekkie like what i do fer me an’ gaz when we’re hangin'.”
gaz pushed off the side and gently corralled you into a seat, pushing it in for you afterwards and letting his hands linger on you shoulders. you couldn’t help but nod and go along with their sweet touches, even as you thought of elliot sat waiting in his car. they were being nicer than anyone had been in a long time when you’d been ‘ill’.
it felt like they were being careful with you. it almost made you feel even guiltier for lying to them.
the third man coughed and looked at kyle with raised eyebrows, his heavy facial hair hiding any mirth that might have hidden around his mouth.
“ah, where are my manners? love, this is price, our pest control guy,” kyle said as he hovered by your chair. “sometimes when we’re too busy to handle it, we get price in to shoot the foxes that are eating the hens. we’d called him last week since we’ve been having a few issues, completely forgot after you arrived.”
you nodded along, though you couldn’t remember seeing or hearing any foxes over the last few days, even on the late evenings.
“he’s a good man, won’t be a bother,” johnny added. “in fact it was good that he arrived when he did or we’d have had no clue ye were gone.”
“it’s nice to meet you,” you said, and took his meaty hand when he offered it. as you looked into his pale eyes you saw something mean to him. hidden behind his soft, placid smile and easy nod there was a sharp glint in his eyes he couldn’t hide.
you knew without asking that he enjoyed his job, enjoyed hunting, and you were suddenly glad you wouldn’t have to witness it going by johnny’s promise that he'd be out of the way.
johnny handed you a earthy smelling cup and you slowly sipped and watched him hover by the toaster as the eggs boiled in their pan, waiting to butter then slice the toast into dippable pieces.
he’d just scooped the eggs into their little cups and played them beside the toast when your husband limped in, stumbling at the unexpected sight of gaz and johnny. he sent you a baleful look as he took in the scene before him and you ducked your head back towards your boiled eggs.
“we were wondering when you might turn up, mate,” kyle said, finally taking his seat next to yours. “was just introducing the missus to price.”
“poor girl said she was ill?” price said and elliot clung on to the excuse.
“ah yeah, she’s always been a drama queen this one. wanted to head home as soon as she started feeling a little under the weather,” he said. he looked down to your plate. “feeling better now, though, i see.”
price’s gaze turned frigid as he stared at your husband. he looked to johnny for a moment, who nodded once, before turning back to your husband.
“you ever gone hunting before?” he asked. “do a bit for the lads here when they’re tied up in more important things, could take you out when i go looking for foxes today.”
elliot jumped at the chance, even with his ankle.
watching price, you felt rude for the voice in the back of your head that was telling you this man was not to be trusted. he was nice from what you could tell, charming even, if not commanding. you assumed he perhaps had a similar background to johnny and kyle with how he held himself, that his gruff exterior was likely earned from years in the service, but despite that something in you bristled all the same in a way it hadn’t so far. looking at elliot however, you realised he felt far differently; price’s casual dominance had managed to bring your husband to heel.
“great, we’ll keep bonnie company for the morning and if she starts to feel faint again, we’ll look after her,” johnny said and clapped elliot on the shoulder.
---
the couple hardly gave you time to let your breakfast settle before they whisked you off onto a trail behind their house again and after a short walk you got to see the view kyle had shown you on his phone originally in france.
“said you wanted to try painting it, so here we are,” kyle said.
“i don’t have my stuff with me.” you frowned, remembering speaking about it before.
“ahh, we came prepared.” johnny took off his bag and rooted through it, pulling out three small drawing pads and a water colour set. “no wine this time,” johnny teased. “an’ we’ll have tae share the paints.”
“then what’re we waiting for?” you asked excitedly.
barely twenty minutes in you quickly found that this was the one thing the pair of them couldn’t do.
gaz struggled the most, claiming after barely ten minutes that he was going down an abstract route with his, and despite his teasing, it didn’t take johnny much longer after that to admit that his skill lay in charcoal.
you had spent the better part of the morning on your painting, but at the last minute painted over the same branch until the colour was too dark, overworked and leaking a little into the leaves.
“fuck,” you huffed and dabbed it with your sleeve. elliot would scowl at the mess but you were distracted, worried about what johnny and kyle thought of your lie earlier that morning and your rude almost-exit. “i’m sorry about this morning,” you said finally.
“there’s nothing to apologise for,” kyle said immediately. “you’re still here, right?”
“still, i just—“
“hen, please. you’re fine, you’re forgiven if that’s what ye need t’hear.” johnny smiled. “maybe we should head back, ahm craving a hot choccy like nobodies business sat out here in the cold.”
"we can get lunch started," gaz suggested before turning to you. "What are you craving, love?"
---
you had reached the garden when you heard a shot echo from the woods.
“must’ve found the den,” kyle said in response to your tense shoulders, but your husband's scream following a moment later had your head whipping across the lawn.
with wide eyes you watched the tree line, stubbornly still even as kyle and johnny tried to encourage you further down towards the farmhouse. you felt your hands twitch as your husband burst from the overgrown bushes, pushing out of a trail you’d have never known was there otherwise.
at his desperate, fearful face you turned to kyle for support automatically, johnny nowhere to be seen, but found his eyes were dark and hooded where he watched elliot struggle to hobble over to you. his stance was lazy; you’d almost think he was uninterested if you hadn’t noticed the way he’d not blinked since your husband’s running figure had breached the bushes, but you could tell he was entirely focused on elliot.
as he got closer you noticed the blood streaking down his face from a large cut across his forehead and his broken nose; evident from it's quick bruising.
he looked like he’d been hit with the solid flat side of something head on. at the sight of tears in his eyes you suddenly jumped into action and met him halfway, helping hold him up as he tried to move quickly away from the forest behind.
“he’s trying to kill me, he’s going to— he attacked me, he wants to kill me, we need to leave,” he babbled, nasally. “we have to go, please.”
“let’s take a second to breathe, mate, yeah? come on, sit down inside and tell us what’s happened,” kyle said reasonably.
“no! i’m not fucking staying here, you’re all crazy,” elliot said and tried to pull you along passed the kitchen door. “he’s a fucking psycho, he attacked me with the fucking— the thing, the gun!”
“i’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding,” kyle insisted, but you recognised a hint of impatience to his tone and it had you continuing to walk with elliot to your car. “if you slow down, we can figure this out.”
“kyle… even if this was an accident, i think someone should look at the cut,” you said. the blood had dripped far enough to begin to soak into elliot’s collar and stain the material.
“no, no, no,” elliot suddenly mumbled and you turned forward to look at the car. your eyes locked onto the flat wheel and you felt your stomach drop.
“elliot…” you whispered.
“get in the fucking car,” he ordered and pushed away from you to round to the passenger side.
dread spread like ice to your fingertips and toes and you flinched out of kyle’s hold when he reached for your arm from behind. you span around to face him and stumbled back a step towards the car, only breaking eye contact with kyle when you saw movement from the garage.
johnny. he was dusting off his hands as he walked and you felt your panic rise and thrash. you’d not lent a thought as to where he’d gone when elliot had appeared bloody and frantic, but in the back of your mind you supposed you’d thought he’d continued on to the house; whether for a first aid kit or to start those hot chocolates you didn’t know.
looking at him then, trousers freshly scuffed on one knee with mud where you supposed he must’ve knelt to slash your tyre, your head suddenly felt heavy and your breath came short.
you were just confused. they were so kind to you, understanding, and now elliot was hurt and something in your gut told you they were involved, too casual in the face of such a graphic injury and accusation.
kyle was eerily quiet as you slowly started to piece it together. you swallowed nervously.
“what— what’s going on, kyle?”
“it’s nothing you need to worry about, love,” he said softly. “come on, come inside with me and johnny’ll sort out elliot.”
it felt weird hearing him say your husband’s name for the first time, especially in this situation. it raised your hackles when you’d have thought it would ease your worry.
“aye, just a spot of bad luck, nothing we can’t fix,” johnny said as he edged closer.
“get in the fucking car, what are you waiting for?” elliot yelled.
“don’t do it, love,” kyle warned.
you shook your head and scrambled for the front seat, locking the door behind you. it had been years since you last drove; moving to london meant it wasn’t necessary and on the odd trips you took with elliot he’d always insisted on driving. pushing on the pedals now felt like learning anew, especially with the flat.
kyle and johnny watched you reverse with frowns on their faces, arms crossed and stood tall.
“speed up, fucking hell, get on the main road already before they catch up,” elliot hissed, eyes wild.
the gears grinded as you tried to speed up down the short road that led to their house, the steering wheel fighting against you on the uneven road and flat tyre. you glanced in the rear view mirror at elliot’s words, worried they were already on your tail but they were still stood still.
you wondered briefly if they really were just trying to help when you suddenly spun out on the gravel leading up to the barn.
your head smacked into the wheel as the car slammed to a stop against the fence and you groaned as you sat up, panting and clinging uncomfortably tight to the steering wheel as you tried to blink the stars from your eyes and gather your bearings. everything was going too fast, the afternoon turned upside down so quick.
elliot clambered out of the car, limping towards the barn without giving a second look back towards you. with weak hands you pushed open the door and followed him, shaken but uninjured.
you followed him into the barn and he slammed the door behind you, slotting the latch down as though that would do much good to keep anyone out for long.
“that man, price, he tried to shoot me,” elliot whispered, fresh tears mixing with the blood on his cheek. “when i fought him he punched me and then hit me with the gun. i had to run for my life, i think ive bloody broken this ankle, if it wasn’t already.”
“what do we do?” you asked, voice wobbly and quiet. “where can we go? they’re— they’ll be outside already.”
“we need to hide,” he said. you clenched your eyes shut. that didn’t sound like much of a plan.
“what if kyle and johnny aren’t in on it?” you asked hopefully. if they weren’t that gave you more options to escape price at least.
elliot went to speak but the sound of another door opening had you freezing in place like deer. you’d not thought about other entrances, not thought about how you’d come in a completely different door when you’d visited marmite.
hide, elliot mouthed before diving behind a pile of boxes, covering himself with the loose corner of tarpaulin.
you moved further back into the barn and watched as johnny came in to view. he whistled as he let his eyes wander around the large barn, winking across to marmite.
“where could he be, marm? eh?” he asked rhetorically, stopping beside elliot’s hiding spot. you noticed belatedly that the awkward way your husband held his ankle to ease the pain meant it stuck out glaringly, his expensive trainers clear as day.
you wanted to call out, give him a chance to make a break for it, but your voice failed you and you watched as johnny stomped his heavy boot onto elliot’s ankle.
you sobbed at the scream he let out as it echoed in the barn. shivering at the pain in his voice as you muffled your own cried behind your palm.
johnny yanked him out of his hiding spot and dragged him back outside through the open door, laughing at elliot’s gasps and whines of pain.
you spotted a shovel opposite you and grabbed it following close behind, careful not to make any noise. you raised the shovel high with gritted teeth, ready to swing, when kyle’s arms wrapped around you, tight and restricting.
he stole the makeshift weapon from your hands too easily and threw it out of reach as johnny watched with wide, impressed eyes focused on you, elliot whimpering at his feet.
one second you were struggling in kyle’s grip and the next you were winded, wrestled to the ground at johnny’s feet with kyle pressed to your back.
“ready t’watch, hen?” johnny asked gleefully, kicking elliot out of his feral position before kneeling over him. he glanced at you to make sure you were watching and kyle’s broad palm came up to cup your chin, his fingers digging into your cheeks to make sure you were facing towards them.
“doin’ this f’r you,” johnny said earnestly before bringing his fist down in a heavy punch, hitting elliot’s cheek hard enough it recoiled into the solid ground below him.
you watched with bleary eyes as johnny beat your husband until his face was sunken, didn’t blink as he grabbed a nearby rock to continue until elliot’s arms stopped prying at johnny’s chest and face and his breaths eventually stilled.
“please stop, please, you’re hurting him, please stop.” you hadn’t realised you’d been mumbling, begging and pleading, while johnny’s hands dripped red.
“you’re ok, pretty,” kyle cooed against your temple, his lips brushing softly against your skin like light kisses.
he nuzzled your cheek where his thumb dug into the squishy flesh as you heard footsteps.
“need help cleaning up?” price asked.
“only this one as planned, sir,” johnny said as he pushed himself back onto his feet, groaning at the pressure on his knee.
“could’ve been a bit cleaner about it,” kyle complained.
“you saw how he was treating her?” price confirmed. “right then. and you’ve both spent time with him alone, know he’s fucking insufferable.”
gaz huffed a short breath through his nose. “being polite with that one, cap.”
“i think i did well lasting the full mornin’ with him,” price said haughtily, grabbing your husband by the collar and hefting him up halfway off the ground while johnny grabbed one of his arms to help. “let him run this far, did ya?”
“was fun watching him tire himself out,” kyle said and you clenched your hand trapped beneath your body.
“doesnae matter now, the jobs done,” johnny said. “we can fix this.” he waved to you and kyle and you shivered.
kyle eased up on your back and let go of your face as you watched them drag elliot’s body towards the back garden and the woods, presumably where the shallow grave they'd prepared for him was.
“right, love,” he started, and you took advantage of his slip in concentration and the looser hold to swing your elbow up and back into his face. he reared back and you rolled him off of your hips the rest of the way, scrambling up onto your feet and sprinting away as soon as you were free.
“fucking hell,” he swore loudly.
you didn’t dare look back, already feeling like your steps were too slow already as you aimed for their car instead of your own.
you imagined finding their keys magically in the ignition or in the drivers seat visor and being able to drive off without a bump, find help and—
you were suddenly hit from the side, johnny's full weight heaved into yours as he shoulder barged you against their car door so roughly your head bounced off of the truck’s window with a crack.
your knees crumbled on impact, all strength leaving your body and replaced with pain as you slumped to the floor.
your vision swam as he laughed excitedly and crouched before you. “fucking’ wily one, you, hen,” he crowed and reached out to pat your face. “c’mon, up ye get.”
he hefted you up, gripping you under your arms even as you tried to wiggle away, pain flashing across your eyes when you moved your head too quick.
“christ almighty, yer stunning,” he gushed. he opened the door with one hand and slipped in backwards, leaving his feet planted on the edge of the door as he dragged you to lean over the seat and his lap until your toes were just scraping the ground. “such a beautiful wife.”
you whined at the uncomfortable position, the pressure the edge of the seat put on your tummy, but you couldn’t move due to how harsh his grip on your arms was as he rested your head in his lap. “lemme go,” you groaned.
he scratched lightly at the back of your neck and grinned at the goosebumps that flared up.
he’d only just gotten you settled fully into position when you felt a second pair of hands at your arse. you jolted in his grip, but the firm body behind you stopped you from moving too far. pressed completely between them like a pinned butterfly.
kyle didn’t hesitate once he saw you were unable to move far, didn’t bother to ease you into it, snaking one hand to your front to release the button on your jeans and then pulling both your jeans and pants over your arse to tangle at your knees. he palmed at the bare skin revealed, nudging a knee between your thick thighs when you tried to kick back at him.
“fuck you,” you seethed. “get the fuck off of me.”
“you don’t have to play pretend anymore, love, elliot’s not here to get mad,” kyle said. he squeezed your hips and groaned. “fucking hell, bet you’re wet already, drooling in johnny’s lap like that.”
you gritted your teeth and tried to gain some firmer footing but the shift of your legs only encouraged the pair and the breeze against your pussy had you tensing.
“oh baby, you’re really desperate for it, yeah?” kyle cooed meanly. he lifted his hand to johnny, sticking two fingers out. “get these wet for me, eh, soap?”
you couldn’t look up from how johnny held you close, but you felt him lean forward, heard the eager, wet noises as he sucked at kyle’s fingers with abandon.
kyle pulled them free with a slick pop and trailed them between your legs, slipping one inside your pussy even as you winced at the too-dry stretch, johnny's spit not lending enough give to kyle’s long finger.
“gonna thank us for getting rid a’him?” johnny asked, squeezing your neck.
you felt your lips wobble and hid further into his lap. feeling humiliated as they laughed. endeared by your cowed behaviour.
gaz was quick to get with the program, knowing he wouldn't get much further and slipped his finger free with a gentle shush in your ear. he tilted your hips up and wedged his arm between you and the car seat, planted his spit-slick fingers over your clit instead and rubbed in sharp circles until you were squirming.
“there ya go,” johnny said. “that’ll do ‘er.”
“shh, be a good girl for us,” kyle grunted. “c’mon, don’t fight it, love, make it easy on yourself.”
you felt your hips twitch against his hand as he focused meanly on your clit until your pussy was clenching and creaming around nothing.
you let out a ragged gasp, your voice breaking as kyle continued to pinch and play with your throbbing clit for a moment longer until you felt a whine build in the back of your throat. you clenched your teeth to hold it back and pushed your face into johnny's solid thigh.
when kyle saw your resistance he ran his fingers lower until they met the hot slick leaking from your cunt and grinned with accomplishment up at his husband.
“don’t worry love, it’ll feel good. i’ll make sure of it,” kyle promised against the sensitive skin of your neck.
he slipped his finger in again, easier this time, and followed it too quickly after with a second. you groaned at the stretch, your hot panting breaths damp against johnny’s tented trousers. the instinct to bite his cock through his jeans and not let go like an untrained dog flashed through your mind as the start of an escape plan, but johnny gently stroked the apple of your cheek and it distracted you enough to lose the thought and chicken out last minute.
“no need t’worry, bonnie. ahm no’ gonna make ye take my cock at the same time, not today,” he said soothingly. “ah know how overwhelming two at a time can be.”
you felt sick as you identified the feeling blooming in your chest as relief and gratefulness. felt worse when you thought it could just be pure pleasure as kyle’s fingers learned the shape of you.
“so bloody tight, don’t know how i’ll fit, johnny,” kyle complained good-naturedly, a sly smile plastered across his face.
“she’s made fer it, gaz,” johnny insisted, mumbled a gruff, our good girl as he looked down at you. “test her out already.”
“no,” you whined, knowing he’d barely gotten his third finger in.
kyle took johnny’s encouragement as blanket permission and pulled his fingers free, chuckling at the rhythmic clenching of your pussy.
“christ if you could see this, john,” he said with awe. “look at that pretty pussy, just begging for me. eager to please, aren’t you?”
you tensed at the sound of a zipper, thrashed when you felt the head of his cock push between your glistening lips, slicking it up not nearly enough before he prodded a little more insistently.
your hands gripped at johnny’s leg and the car seat as he pushed the head in, your brows furrowed as he panted behind you.
“there ye go, hen, give it all t’him,” johnny cooed, eyes molten as he watched kyle fuck into you for the first time.
“need to try your arse next time if this is how tight your pussy is,” kyle moaned. he pushed in a little further and you whined, sucking in a sharp breath when he pulled back out again. johnny chuckled, lifting one hand to wrap around kyle’s neck, his thumb petted softly at his adam’s apple as kyle bit his lip and leant into the pressure.
he thrusted in and out slowly, going deeper with each push back in and testing your resolve as you tried to bite back your sounds.
“let us hear ye,” johnny pouted, pulling his hand back to push two fingers into your mouth. he held it hinged open on kyle’s next thrust and you let out a deep gargled noise.
kyle huffed, his cock leaking pre inside you.
“how’s she feel, garrick?”
“like sin,” he sighed. “tightened up as soon as you got your fingers in her mouth.”
“dirty little slut,” johnny said, delighted. “maybe not so much our good girl after all.”
your orgasm crept up on you, focused as you were on staying quiet and still, when kyle’s hand drifted from where he’d been palming your arse it barely took a moment of attention to your clit to have you reeling.
“there we go, fuck. look at that,” kyle groaned as you tightened up, a flood of slick leaking out with every pull of his cock and gathering at his pubes on the thrust back in. “give it to me.”
you gasped and moaned around johnnys fingers, drooling down his palm and into his lap. you saw through hazy eyes how his cock jumped in its confines, eager for attention and the pleasure gaz had described.
kyle moaned, his thrusts getting rougher, uneven. “keep cumming, love, take it.”
“fucking temptation incarnate,” johnny whispered as you pushed back into kyle’s hand and cock trying to prolong your own pleasure.
kyle folded over you and thrust in his cock hard and shallow, hips bruising your butt cheeks as he groaned. he stilled and you felt the flood of his cum settle deep and heavy, a sudden spark of anxiety kicking through your afterglow.
you didn’t acknowledge the part that gleefully thought of the possibility of a baby, finally.
you shivered, slumped in johnny's lap as he held you up when gaz slipped out, whistling in appreciation at the sight of the pair of you. you felt gaz lightly tap his cockhead against your butt cheek with a wet plap before he tucked himself away again.
“don’t let it drip,” johnny reminded gaz before too much of his cum could dribble out of your puffy hole. kyle was gentle as he tugged up your pants, even when he patted the gusset crudely before bending low for your jeans. he pulled you back up against his chest as johnny shuffled forwards and out of the truck cab, plastering himself to your front once he was on the ground.
you ducked your head to avoid his kiss and he chuckled. “still so shy after tha’?”
they shuffled you back to the farmhouse, pressed so close to your sides that it made it impossible for you to lose your footing, both of them keeping you upright even as your legs felt like jelly.
they got you laid down in their bed, the room closer to yours and elliot’s than you’d realised.
it felt like a herculean task keeping your eyes open despite the mid-afternoon sun shining through the window. if you could bring yourself to string more than two thoughts together you’d think it was the shock or the adrenaline crash. but for the moment you could only think about how pretty gaz looked stood at the corner of the bed smiling or how warm johnny felt kneeling between your legs.
at the feeling of your jeans being removed again, you frowned.
“what’re y’doin’?” you slurred, a second away from passing out.
“shh, bonnie,” johnny whispered. “y’r fine.”
you felt his fingers tease at the opening of your cunt, playing with the cum trickling out, tacky and sticky where some had dribbled down your thighs.
he groaned and stuck his fingers in his mouth as kyle laughed.
you drifted in and out, barely registering the feeling of his cock rubbing through the mess and nudging at your clit, his own leaking pre only adding to the smooth glide.
you passed out finally to the feeling of his teeth at your neck, his groans in your ear and kyle’s eyes watching over you both fondly.
---
you woke up slowly, your head thumping and it took you a moment to recall where you were and what had happened. you sat up slowly and saw you were alone in their room.
you cringed at the dried cum between your legs and the way your skin stuck to itself and the sheets. if it wasn’t for the physical proof crusting on your skin and the smell of their aftershaves on the duvet, you think you might’ve been able to convince yourself none of it had happened.
your threw back the duvet when you were sure they weren’t about to jump out at you and grabbed your trousers from the floor.
you hesitantly pushed open the door to the left of the room and found an en suite bathroom.
with a sigh of relief you closed and locked it behind you and started cleaning yourself up in the sink with hurried movements. a shower would've been preferable but you weren’t willing to risk the noise or the time, so scrubbing away the cum, sweat and tears with your hands and some soap would have to do.
it took all of your energy to keep yourself calm as you felt sticky globs of cum drip from inside you and replace what you’d just cleaned on the inside of your thighs.
you got dressed hastily and peeked out of the window to try and spot johnny or kyle prowling outside. when you saw no sign of either, you held your breath and cracked open the bedroom door. when they didn’t appear from nowhere waiting to catch you trying to leave, you crept down the creaky stairs, sucking in a tight breath as if it could make you lighter and the stairs any quieter.
you cringed as you made it down and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw the kitchen empty.
your eyes zeroed in on the knife block and you scampered over to it and grabbed the biggest one, sufficiently sharp.
you snuck out the back way to avoid the sound of your trainers on the gravel out front; given your last escape attempt you figured they’d have their car locked and keys kept safe so there was no point attempting the cars again at the front and you weren’t sure you’d be able to outrun them all the way to the main road out in the open. whereas the forest out back would provide enough cover for you to make your way to… well, you didn’t really know where, part of you thought you could maybe find their elusive neighbour while another thought you’d more likely get lost in there trying.
better the devil you know, the traitorous voice whispered.
you shook your head and looked around frantically, your head on a constant swivel as you jogged across the garden, eyes peeled for a hint of any of the three of them. you slowed as you neared the veg plot to the right and the open grass and shed to the left.
you headed left, despite the lack of cover it proved, it was closer to the woods trail you knew and although there was nowhere for you to hide it meant there was also nowhere for them to be lying in wait, unlike all the tall climbing veg you’d originally been impressed by on your first day.
“think we should probably ring him later to see—“
you span around at the sound of their voices drifting on the wind, and saw them making their way from the front of the house. panicking, you jumped towards the nearest hiding spot - the little shed.
it was unlocked, but you were too worked up to wonder were the thick lock you’d seen days prior had gone. despite the sun shining through the little windows, it was dark in the little shed. you cursed not having your phone on you for the light but figured you’d have not wanted to garner the attention either way.
you could tell it was clean from the smell, whatever was stored in there was well looked after. shelves were pushed against the back and right side of the shed, full of boxed items.
johnny’s sister’s items, you remembered.
you stepped forward quietly, dropping the knife onto a lower shelf when a stack of photo albums caught your eye. you picked one up at random and flicked it open to find a picture of soap and gaz, younger and stood in their fatigues. You flicked further in and saw another of them in their civvies, then a third of them in their wedding suits.
why wouldn’t they keep this in their house?
the next book answered your question as you looked at kyle and johnny wrapped around a woman in a wedding dress. you paused, your breath hitching before you looked at the next few photos quicker, the unknown woman was dressed casual for a few pages, then replaced by a third unknown man in a suit.
there were less photos of him dressed casually before he was replaced by another woman in the same dress as before; then another, a man in a suit. they kept changing, never lasting more than ten pages in the albums as kyle and johnny got older through the photos.
their third never reappeared once they’d disappeared.
you breathed in shakily, understanding that you weren’t their first, likely wouldn’t be their last if they caught you trying to escape again. christ, how many were like you that would be killed before they were forced to put on the wedding dress or suit.
you put the book back with shaking hands and grabbed your knife again. you weren’t going to sit there and wait for them to come looking for you, but you’d foolishly gotten distracted and hadn't heard where they’d gone when you were looking at the photos. you pressed close to the door and held you breath while listening out for them on the other side.
when it had been quiet for long enough for your legs to feel tired, held rigidly still in the cold shed, you pushed opened the door slowly and stepped out. you stopped mid step when you saw kyle and johnny sat patiently at their garden table just opposite, staring at you with wide smiles.
“mornin’,” johnny called across and you reflexively brought up the knife in front of you.
“what’s the knife for?” kyle asked, amused, his lips pulling up at one side as he glanced at it lazily. “got the jitters, love? it’s normal, i still get butterflies and we’ve done this how many times now, johnny?”
“countless. but ah’ve got a good feeling about this one.” johnny’s grin turned salacious as he looked you up and down.
“me too.” kyle let his smile spread.
you stared for a moment, debating running. “what are you going to do to me?”
kyle’s grin stretched and he dipped his head to take a drink of his tea to hide it, laughing a little at your shaking hands.
“it’s our wedding day hen, you forget already?” johnny cooed.
you frowned, gripped the knife tighter.
“price was good enough to agree to officiate today instead of the end of the week, last minute changes cannae be helped though,” he added with an easy shrug. “hopefully simon’ll be able t’make it too.”
“the cake…” you mumbled, feeling betrayed at how many people they had in on it. how long they’d planned this and played pretend with you.
“she caught on quick. smart one this time, think we’ve made a good choice.” gaz stood as he spoke to johnny causing you to stiffen in unease. you lifted the knife up high in front of you again where it’d dropped to your side.
“now now, come on. you think you know what you’re doing with that, love? think you could kill me if you had to? johnny too?”
you stared at johnny behind kyle’s shoulder; the picture of relaxed, but you could see how sharp his eyes were as he watched you threaten his husband.
“sas, remember? even if you did manage to knick me, and that’s a big if, love, johnny would have you laid flat before you had a chance to blink. he’s broad but he’s bloody quick even with the knee.” he pointed to your bruised temple as he took another step. “but you’ve already experienced that. let’s just think about what you want to do here, yeah?”
frustration welled inside you and you blinked as tears ran down your cheeks. “i want to go home,” you whispered.
gaz smiled softly, the mean glint in his eyes gone when he nodded. “we can do that.”
“you just have to put down the knife first, hen.”
you shook your head, working yourself up as you felt your fight or flight turn to freeze as you stared them down another minute longer, desperate to find a way out.
gaz took another step and you swiped desperately to stop him from getting too close, but flinching back yourself when johnny barked out a sharp, “hey!”
gaz ducked out your reach but lifted his arm under yours to control its trajectory, elbowing you in the nose with his other arm. you felt a crunch and stumbled back, the knife falling from your grip and into kyle’s.
“guhh!” your hands flew up to your aching nose as you gasped, the pain sharp and ferocious, pinpointed to your sinuses as you bent forward to instinctively protect your face.
“ah shit.” you heard kyle sigh.
“bit bloody rough, garrick,” johnny chastised as he finally came closer, kneeling before you, keeping one hand tight on your calf to keep you close as the other gently, but insistently wheedled your hands away from your messy face.
“used to manhandling you aren’t i, soap?” kyle groused, but sending you worried looks all the same. he stepped away to drop the knife on the table, grabbing the small tea towel they’d had folded next to their plates and handing it to soap when he got close again.
you hissed as johnny cleaned you up as best he could with the scratchy cloth, sucking in a ragged breath through your mouth and gagging at the rancid taste of your own blood.
they herded you back to the farmhouse and sat you in kyle’s lap in the kitchen.
you took a sick satisfaction when he grunted at your weight on his legs, but the firm squeezing of your hips had you wiggling away. his grip was firm however and he kept you from hovering above him as johnny wiped at your nose with a wet rag.
“this is gon’hurt, cannae lie t’ya,” he said as he cupped either side of your face, his thumbs pressed along your nose. “wee bastard broke it, but i’ll make it good as new.”
kyle grumbled and johnny huffed, corrected himself. “wee bonnie bastard.”
you whimpered and jerked in kyle’s hold when johnny pushed it back into place, wiping it down once more.
“ye play nice and forgive each other, now, yeah?” he ordered. “close contact always helps w'that i've found.”
gaz nuzzled in close at that, hummed against your cold skin. “i’m sorry, baby. been a while since we played with someone so delicate.”
you stayed silent and johnny tilted your head to get a better look at your nose with the bleeding slowed down.
“looks good as new, bonnie,” he confirmed, ducking down to kiss you.
you winced when his nose knocked yours and felt his grin against your pursed lips.
suddenly, deliriously, you thought of the wedding photos they’d want to take. they’d be ruined, you thought with glee.
you told them so and watched as gaz pouted over your shoulder. johnny hummed.
“we have plenty of time to make memories together,” he settled on saying finally.
“you’re better than they were,” gaz agreed. “you’ll be better.” last longer, went unsaid.
you shook your head but they ignored it as they pulled you to stand up between them.
“now, you better start getting ready, price will be here soon and so should simon. we want to get this done quickly so we can get to the good part,” gaz said.
“consummating the marriage,” johnny winked.
you let them guide you back to your room where you saw the wedding dress laid on the bed, matching shoes on the floor set neatly.
sat on the bed next to the dress you ran your hand over the silky material, the intricate sewing and beading.
your head pounded, the injury from what you now knew was the day before and now the nose had your ears ringing. you grabbed the glass of water from the side table and downed it, uncaring if it was from two nights ago, suddenly parched as you thought of the amount of tears you’d shed.
when you could finally bring yourself to put on the dress you marvelled at the fit, the way the material looked draped over your curves.
like the sisterhood of the travelling pants but for two psychos’ fucking wedding, you thought and snorted.
you were truly connected to all their victims before you now.
you slipped on the shoes and let yourself hide your face in your hands as your hope finally crumbled. this was happening and you weren’t sure how to feel about it.
christ, whether it was the bump to the head or maybe elliot’s treatment for the last few years had done a worse number on you than you’d realised, but you couldn’t help but wonder if this would still be better than how you’d be living in london.
you wiped your face and headed for downstairs. it was like a sick repeat of the night you’d all gone out as they cooed and fawned over you when you got to the bottom. and once more you liked it.
liked it the same way you’d liked their attention every time they focused on you, complimented you. a slut just like elliot had spat. like johnny had moaned.
you swallowed thickly and hid your shaking hands behind your back.
they led you outside and you took the time to try and think of elliot’s face as he was beaten to death not twenty-four hours before; hoping to get a wake up call from these tumultuous, traitorous feelings. but you could only think of the lipstick mark on his neck and the photos of his cock on his phone that you knew he’d never sent to you, the texts he’d hide, the video you’d finally found of him fucking another woman.
you thought about how kind and gentle kyle and johnny had been over the last few days and bit your cheek harshly. switched to thinking of johnny using you while you slept, kyle taking you half inside their car, but it didn’t horrify you like you’d expected it to.
the gut clenching panic you’d expected to feel was absent as you remembered the feeling of their hands on you and instead you were ashamed to feel yourself grow wet.
were you so fucked up, so lonely and starved that you were going to willingly ‘marry’ these men and let them treat you like that?
if you took a moment to think about it, were they even a step up from elliot?
you looked up and ahead and saw price get out of his car, a genuine smile puffing up his cheeks as kyle waved. you assumed the ceremony would be starting soon enough.
kyle leant in to kiss your temple and johnny removed his hand from your shoulders and instead took yours in his own with an excited squeeze.
well, you knew the answer to the first question at least.
want to email johnny? click here
#dog meat fic#final part!! hope you’ve all enjoyed over the end of the spooky season#this was a lot of fun#and poor reader - very much out of the frying pan into the fire with getting gazsoap after elliot#this really well and truly isn’t edited as well as it should be but it’s 2am right now so who cares!!#johnny soap mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish x reader x kyle gaz garrick#kyle gaz garrick x reader#soap x reader x gaz#soap x gaz#soapgaz#soapgaz x reader#kyle garrick x reader#gaz x reader#cod smut#soap x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#fat reader
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CHRISTMAS SPIRIT — JESS MARIANO
masterlist
pairing: jess mariano x reader
description: decorating luke’s for christmas reminds you how far from festive jess is. but it might also lead to confessions that put him much more in the christmas spirit.
warnings: little swearing. fluff !!!
author’s note: shoutout to i’ll be home for christmas in this imagine is because it’s my all time fave xmas film and i had a HUGE crush on jonathan taylor thomas as a child because of it. it’s also not super long but i made sure it’s not too short… anyway ENJOY! <3
“Y’know, I don’t see why you have to be such a Grinch,” you pulled the candy cane from between your lips as Jess scoffed, “All Luke asked was for us to put up a few decorations. Even he has more fucking Christmas spirit than you!”
Jess rolled his eyes, “Oh sure, because I’m usually so enthusiastic about stuff like this. How out of character of me,” he paused to touch his forehead with the back of his hand, “I must be getting ill.”
You tutted, placing the last of your candy cane back into your mouth with a crunch! and folding your arms across your chest.
He quirked his brow, waiting for a snarky response that never came.
Instead, you turned on your heels and headed over to the stereo, flicking the switch and resuming the Christmas CD you’d been listening to before he’d grumpily trundled down the stairs into the diner.
“Oh God,” Jess groaned, “Do you seriously enjoy torturing me?”
You scoffed, “Do you want the honest answer?”
It was at that moment Luke briefly poked his head round the corner, “What are you two bickering about now?”
You crossed your arms over your chest as Jess did the exact same thing, except with a huge wad of tinsel now attached to his sweater.
He waved his arm around frantically as you burst out laughing at his desperate attempt to rid himself of the sparkly red decoration, “For fu—,”
“Ask Ebenezer Scrooge over here,” you teased, freeing Jess of the tinsel by yanking it away as Luke rolled his eyes, “Just help her out, Jess.”
“What does it look like I’m doing?”
“Being a moron.”
“Fork found in kitchen,” you mumbled, earning a glare from Jess, “We’re nearly done, c’mon.”
Jess fought back a smirk, folding his arms again and shaking his head, “You’re a pain in the ass, Y/N.”
“At least I’m a festive pain in the ass,” you sing-songed, twirling tinsel around the cash register as he laughed at you, “Hey, I can see a smile there! He can smile! What a heartthrob. I could almost mistake you for Jonathan Taylor Thomas in I’ll Be Home for Christmas.”
“I look like who from what?” Jess contorted his face in confusion, unsure whether what you were saying was a compliment.
Kirk appeared out of nowhere beside you both, an inquisitive expression on his face, “Jonathan Taylor Thomas from the 1998 Christmas movie I’ll Be Home for Christmas. I have to say I think you’re wrong though, Y/N. He doesn’t have nearly as much of his boyish charm.”
You burst out laughing again, clasping your hand to your mouth as you watched Jess blush just a little as he stood slack-jawed.
“Boyish charm? I’ve got plenty of boyish charm,” Jess scoffed, puffing out his chest, “Why do I look like him anyway?”
“Oh, you don’t,” Kirk shrugged, “Y/N just has a crush on him and a crush on you.”
“Ok that’s quite enough from you Kirk,” It was your turn to blush crimson now as you gestured towards the tables, “We’re not even open yet. You—uh— just go sit down.”
“A crush on me, huh?” Jess was smirking now, and you couldn’t tell if the bubbling in your stomach was sheer embarrassment or excitement at the way he was looking at you.
Obviously, it was both.
You shook your head, “Oh, ‘cause you should totally trust Kirk.”
Jess quirked his eyebrow, “When it comes to town gossip, I’d say I do.”
You looked down at your feet, cheeks still incredibly warm and your heart palpitating so hard you were sure it’d burst out of your chest at any moment.
“You know, you’ve gone bright red. So red in fact that I think it’s put me in a festive mood,” Jess quipped smugly, elbow on the counter as he leaned a little closer to you.
You scoffed, “It took me being embarrassed to feel festive?”
Jess shook his head, and said nothing for a moment.
You wondered whether he was about to embarrass you even further, but his expression softened so much that it confused you.
“No, it took being told that you do like me,” he shrugged, but he was clearly not as nonchalant about it as he was trying to appear, “To save me the embarrassment of a not so festive rejection under the many, many Christmas lights— seriously why do we need so fuckin’ many?”
Your heart swelled at his initial words, but you rolled your eyes yet again at his grumbling about the Christmas lights, “It’s Christmas, Jess. And so pretty.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Jess was quieter as he spoke now, his eyes twinkling as he moved even closer to you, “So pretty.”
Now you were certain that every drop of blood had rushed to your cheeks, the intensity of his stare making you bite your lip and look away again.
His hand lifted up to touch your cheek, drawing your eyes back to meet his.
Your mouth had gone dry, and you couldn’t help but notice how carefully he watched your lips as your tongue swiped over them.
“You—I—We need to finish decorating and open up, Jess,” you stammered, but Jess wasn’t letting you get out of this conversation now.
“If it wasn’t for Kirk, I’d really like to kiss you right now,” he looked briefly away and saw that Kirk had seemingly entirely disappeared, “Oh, it might be my lucky day. Now I’m really feeling festive.”
You giggled, “Then what—what’re you waiting for?”
He didn’t waste a moment after that, immediately capturing your lips with his as you leaned into his chest.
The kiss was short lived, but you almost didn’t mind because your mind was racing at the fact that it was actually even happening at all.
Jess beamed across at you as you pulled back, your eyes locked on each other for a fair few moments of silence.
“I’m finally in the Christmas spirit, Y/N,” he sing-songed as he finally broke the silence, still staring intently at you as you shivered under his gaze, “So much so that I think I’d like to go watch the town Christmas lights being switched on tonight. If you’re up for it. If not, like, whatever. Just a suggestion. Since you love Christmas and—,”
You laughed, placing a hand on his bicep to interrupt his rambling, “I’d really like that, Jess. Even if you are going to drive me nuts complaining about the lights, it’d be nice to go. Like, together.”
Jess seemed pleased with that answer, a broad smile overtaking his face as he leaned in even closer, “It’s a date, then. And now we can get back to decorating.”
You bit your lip, “A date. Woah, Jess Mariano is taking me on a date to see the Christmas lights getting switched on. If I didn’t know any better I’d think I was still tucked up in bed dreaming.”
“I’m in your dreams a lot then, huh?” he teased, the smirk back gracing his features as you gently nudged his arm, “My nightmares, maybe.”
“Hm, guess you dream about that John Tyler guy more then,” he feigned offence, and despite mistaking the name you found his pout incredibly adorable.
You laughed, “Jonathan Taylor Thomas?”
“Mhm.”
“Don’t be jealous, Mariano,” you hummed, leaning into his side as you teased him.
“I’m not jealous,” he grunted, “What does he even look like anyway?”
You giggled, and he didn’t seem impressed by the way you went straight into your head thinking about the actor, “You’ll find out later when I force you to come back to mine and watch it with me after the lights are on.”
“No fuckin’ way!” he shook his head, and you forced a pout until he sighed, “Fine. Only because I like you. And I’m choosing our takeout if I’m going to be third-wheeling you and the TV on our first date.”
You grinned, “Fine by me. It’s a date!”
“A date? Finally, kid,” Luke reemerged for a moment again, poking his head around the corner of the kitchen.
“He’s taking me to see the Christmas lights being switched on,” you grinned, watching Luke’s brief shocked expression being quickly replaced by a small smile.
“The lights?” he repeated, and you nodded.
“I knew he liked you, I mean the whole town did. But it looks like he must really like you, huh?”
“Yeah,” you basically whispered, looking over at Jess for a moment and seeing him smiling softly at you despite his irritation at his uncle poking his nose in, “I guess he does.”
———
happy festive season guys!
this has been in the drafts for a couple weeks near finished but i’ve finally got it done now <3 might write some more festive imagines so if there are any characters you’d like to see that for then please let me know.
as usual — thanks for reading, here’s my masterlist if you’d like to read more of my stuff!
#jess mariano x you#jess mariano x y/n#jess mariano#jess mariano imagines#jess mariano x reader#jess mariano imagine#gilmore girls imagines#gilmore girls#gilmore girls imagine#milo ventimiglia
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The getaway pt.1 - Emily Prentiss x fem!reader
ALL OF THESE CAN BE READ AS STAND-ALONES
summary: you and Emily have been dating for several months now. When you finally get a free weekend, you decide to go on a little secret romantic getaway. tw: nothing yet, just fluff, a tiny bit of suggestive content but it's literally just a conversation, nothing else. secret relationship. a/n: you guys seemed to really like the idea so here it is! this first chapter so it's mostly to set the mood
Your leg shakes under the dinner table, waiting for Emily to finish up cooking dinner, her body swings around the kitchen, moving fluidly and confidently at the rhythm of the music she had chosen to play to set the abience.
You know she loves cooking, but you also know after getting home from a week-long case, this is the last thing she wants to do.
She always insists: "no baby, i'll cook, you can just sit there and look pretty, let me take care of it" and you loved her for that, but it hasn't been 12 hours yet since you had chased an unsub for three blocks.
She deserved a break. You both did. You had already decided that.
The pasta plate she sets in front of you with a big smile takes you out of your head, you smile back, it smells amazing, there's no doubt about it.
"I'm starving" she says, dropping on the seat in front of you, grabbing a fork and rolling up the spaghetti.
You move the pasta around, looking at her eat, trying to decide how to phrase it.
"what?" she asks mouth-fulled, noticing your stare.
"I wanted to ask you something" she leaves the fork, slurps up one last spaghetti hanging from her lips, and wipes her mouth with the napkin. Now you have her full attention.
"ugh, I'm... flattered, but-" she says in a sarcastic tone, but you cut her.
"relax, Em, I'm not asking you to marry me" she chuckles "i was thinking... you know how, if no case comes in tomorrow by five, we are having the whole weekend for ourselves, right?" you start.
"yeah, why?" she asks impatiently.
"well, I was talking to Penelope the other day, about how she had found this amazing hotel with Kevin, how they had had the best time, with activities for couples, good food, a big pool, you know, all that" she listens carefully at your words, without interrupting you, takes a sip of her wine, and nods, considering the idea.
"ok look" you grab your purse, taking a booklet you had printed out specifically for this conversation, hoping the images would convince her, you hand it to her so she can take a look.
She runs her eyes, scanning the photos on the booklet and reading over the information.
"it's been a long week, you deserve a break. We deserve a break" you conclude.
"Ooh- each room has a hot tub, and full time room service! and a steam room too?" she points out, looking at the pictures.
"And a balcony with views of the pool from every room! this could be it, Em, it's perfect for us." you add, after spending the whole trip back on the plane looking at their website, you had pretty much memorized it.
Emily angled her head to meet your eye. “If I have my way, you’ll be too occupied to appreciate the views.” the playfulness of her words making you smirk.
"So is that a yes?" you sigh in relief.
"Of course, sign me up!" a wide smile of excitement crosses her face, you let out a triumphant sound, shooting from your seat, walking up to her to grab her face and kiss her lips.
She grabs you by the waist and pulls you to sit onto her lap, your arms surround her neck, her grip tight on your hips to hold you in place.
"Oh, this is gonna be so nice! Think about it, no kids, all inclusive hotel for couples, no more hiding, nothing to worry about, just swim, and sex, and food" she grins at your words, her thumb traces slow circles on the skin left uncovered your shirt
"I could get used to that" she says kissing you again, this time longer, lovingly.
"honey?" she says, pulling away. "Yes?"
"You have already made the reservation, haven't you?" her profiling skills really never fail to amaze you.
"they had an excellent limited time offer, and i was pretty confident you were gonna say yes once I'd show you the booklet" you admit, and she chuckles, instead of getting upset, she just smiles at you and pecks your lips
"what have i done to deserve you?" she says, the dreamy sound of her words making you blush.
"well, dinner just now, and i believe i heard you say something about that balcony? with the views?"
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
She frowns at her computer, sitting on her desk, she has been staring at the screen for a considerable amount of time now, you quietly walk behind her.
"exciting, isn't it?" she doesn't hear you coming by, your words startle her making her jump in her seat
"you scared me" she mutters so no one can hear the conversation.
"sorry" you sit on her desk, right in front of her "i just thought if you're gonna spend the last fifteen minutes staring at the clock, we should do it together"
She tries to fight the smile that threatens to spread on her face, she bites her lip and gives you a loving look with her big doe eyes.
"you know, this room is full of profilers, if they saw you here in my desk only a couple of minutes far from five, they might suspect something is going on here"
"something like what? no one has even noticed i'm here, i seat on your desk everyday, nothing new" you say, her eyes leave the computer screen to look at you now.
"oh, i don't know, something like: we have been dating for three months and as soon as we leave this building we are driving two hours to spend our weekend on a hotel resort for couples?" she says sarcastically.
"i just thought it would be fun to watch when the clock strikes 5:00 together, you know, just like in new year's eve, but without the kissing for obvious reasons. Although there will be plenty of that this weekend" she bites her tongue at your words. Teasing Emily has always been so much fun for you, since it's usually the other way around that she teases you.
"the last thing i want you to remind me is how we are actively lying at the people we care most about" she argues, trying to keep her cool
"well, no need to worry about that anymore" you say, and when you both look at the screen, the clock has turned. 5:00 pm, no case has come in, we're free" you state. You stay there, sharing a moment, you stare at each other's eyes.
"god, but how i wish i could kiss you right now" she mutters breaking the silence, her eyes move down to look at your lips, and just for a moment you consider the possibility of sending it all to hell and kissing her senseless right then and there.
"y/n, any plans for the weekend?" Morgan's presence takes you by surprise, he comes behind you carrying is bag, so close, it had been so close, but you'd have to pull up with your coworker's teasing too.
"uhm, yeah, well, not much, no, just, a movie maybe, but who knows really?" you say, Emily tries hiding her grin, but fails.
"did you hear about Prentiss' weekend?" Morgan asks, you shoot a look at her
"ugh, no, big plans?" you say looking at her, lifting an eyebrow in faked confusion
"She, is going away with her girlfriend" he teases, a cocky smile on his lips.
"a girlfriend?! Prentiss! who is the lucky girl?" you say, a little louder than intended. She looks annoyed now that you're joining the teasing from you coworker.
"it's a secret, apparently" Morgan explains, Emily opens her mouth to speak, but only a defeated sound comes out.
"what? really?" you keep up the play, but she shoots you a look of warning, one eyebrow up, her arm on her hip.
"ok, you know what? I'm gonna leave now, you guys can speculate all you want" she takes her bag, and walks to the elevator, you and Derek follow her closely, she does her best to hide her smile.
"hey, I myself feel pretty offended that she won't tell us, after all we've been through, don't you think I deserve a little better?" he says, holding his hand to his chest, while you three wait for the elevator.
"Now, I'm having some ideas of what you deserve right now" the slightly threatening tone of her voice makes your heart throb. You just want to let her push you against that elevator door, let her do whatever she wants to you.
"you know what, I think I'm gonna keep it to myself, just this one time" she concludes, getting out of the elevator, Morgan whines, but she doesn't let it go.
"ok, this way for me" he says, turning right to go find his parking spot
"I'll walk with you" you tell Emily, the corners of your lips curving into a smile. You both say goodbye to Morgan, he leaves with one last "i hope you have a nice one, Prentiss!" and leaves.
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Entering the room, you realize how more spacious and comfortable it is that you though, although you should've guessed, considering the fact that i could fit a hot tub on one corner, a full bathroom and the king-sized bed without making it feel narrow.
The hotel bellboy opens the room for you, hands you both of your keys, and leaves. Emily had already taken it upon herself to carry the bags, as they aren't all that heavy. Plus she loved doing those kinds of things for you, carrying your bags, the kind of things you would tease her about for being the chivalrous kid of girlfriend.
After all, you're only staying for a weekend, even if Emily didn't really understand that you don't actually need that many pairs of shoes for only just two nights total.
You look around everywhere, walk to the bathroom, the shower is perfectly big enough to fit you both, and two sinks. You check the hot tub, nd finish your tour by walking to the windows and opening the curtains.
The broad balcony has two chairs, and direct views to the pool, you're high enough to go completely unnoticed by anyone who looked up from it.
You drop to the big bed, star-fished out, meanwhile Emily leaves both your bags right next to the bed.
You sit up, standing to meet her as she looks around the room herself, appreciating the size of it.
"wow, this is almost bigger than my living room" she says, still surprised.
You walk up to her, grab her by the hips and pulling her to you "what do you think?" you ask, she surrounds your neck with her arms, and kisses you sweetly.
"mh, i love it" she purrs, a soft smile on her lips, and kisses you again, this time softer, longer, her lips soft and reassuring, making sure you knew how much she loved it.
"and I love you" she says, her hands running through your back now, "even if you just spent a considerable amount of time mocking me" she adds, and you chuckle.
"it was perfect, he doesn't suspect a thing!" you try to defend yourself, but she's already kissing your neck, finding your pulse point that she knows drives you crazy
"yeah but you didn't think i'd let you just get away with it just like that, mh?" she says, trapping your earlobe between her teeth and biting it softly.
"well, as much as you know i want this, we have to go down for dinner, because someone claimed she didn't need any directions to find the parking lot, and that took about, half an hour" you say teasingly, giving her a soft swat on her ass, unwrapping your arms off her waist to hold her hand.
Emily pouts at the loss of contact, interwining her fingers with yours "well, i found it didn't i? yes, it might have taken me a little longer than expected...."
"half an hour, Emily! We are gonna miss dinner, c'mon, and you can think about how to 'not let me get away with it' when we get back" you grab the room key, and pull her with you, walking out and heading to the elevator door.
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
okkk what are we thinking? this was an introduction more than anything, just to set the story.
Feedback here would be greatly appreciated, specially because if you guys have any ideas on how i should continue, or any specific scenarios, i'd be happy to try to add it!!
Like & reblog as always, I'll be publishing the next chapters as i write them so stay tuned for that <33
#emily prentiss#wlw#emily prentiss imagine#emily prentiss x reader#criminal minds x reader#lesbian#emily prentiss lesbian#lesbian pride#wlw fanfic#wlw smut#emily prentiss fic#emily prentiss fluff#emily prentiss fanfiction#emily prentiss x you#emily prentiss x female reader#emily prentiss x y/n#emily prentiss x fem!reader#emily prentiss smut#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds x you#criminal minds#lesbian emily prentiss#paget brewster#lesbian headcanon#derek morgan
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Absentminded
“Good morning, love,” Civilian beamed.
Villain slumped groggily on the stair rail, rubbing the leftover sleep from their eyes. “What’s got you so chipper?”
“I don’t know.” Civilian threw themselves around their neck. “Just woke up extra happy I guess.”
Villain trudged toward the table, but Civilian didn’t loosen their grip, stepping with them until they plopped into a kitchen chair.
“You going to give me any breathing space?” Villain said, even as they gathered Civilian into their lap. They were always a little resistant to affection first thing in the morning. Civilian was pretty sure they got shy. Almost like each day was a restart of their first, like they had to be sure Civilian was talking to them. It was sweet.
They shook their head into their collar. “Mm-mm.”
Villain gave them a gentle squeeze around the waist. “Just how happy are you?”
“Brimming. Overflowing. Oh! I made breakfast!”
They hopped out of Villain’s arms and swept a great plate of chocolate chips pancakes from the counter.
“You’re pancake happy?” Villain said a little surprise in their tone. “You usually only get pancake happy on your birthday or our anniversary.” They stiffened. “It’s not our anniversary is it?”
Civilian smiled, placing a reassuring hand on Villain’s shoulder. “No. It’s sort of weird I suppose. I just woke up early this morning and I was looking at you—“
“Creep.”
“Shut up.” Civilian punched them in the shoulder. “I was looking at you, and I just started thinking how happy I am that I found you. You know from the moment we met…it was like I knew you. Like I’d always known you. I guess that’s how I figured it out.”
“Figured out what, my heart?”
“That we were meant to be together.”
Villain’s smile froze, thawed into a sort of grimace, then froze again wider. A sort of thin, strained thing, like a wash rag wrung out too many times.
Civilian backtracked. “That’s cheesy isn’t it?”
“No! No! It’s wonderful! I just feel guilty! You knew much sooner than I did. I let you chase after me for far too long. I don’t…I don’t always think I deserve you.”
Civilian grinned. “I didn’t mind. You’re just more cautious. I like that about you.”
They kissed Villain’s cheek and plopped down in the seat beside them, dividing pancakes between their plates. Villain’s eyes followed their movements as they slathered the stack with butter and cream and doused it all in syrup.
“How’s work? Any schemes planned for the day?”
Villain cut their stack in section and skewered three pancake pieces on their fork. “Not until evening, but I have to leave in a couple hours to organize it. It’s a museum heist, so I’ll be home a little late.”
Civilian nodded. “Are things smoother for you without Hero around?”
Villain choked on their breakfast. Civilian leaped for the pitcher, messily pouring a glass of water, and shoving it into Villain’s hand, then rubbing their lover’s back as they chugged it down.
“Hero?” Villain croaked once they had a hold of themselves. “Why are you thinking about them all of a sudden?”
Civilian didn’t stop rubbing their back. “I saw on the news they’re putting up a memorial statue in the park this afternoon. It’s been three years since they went missing, right? How well did you know them?”
“Fairly well.”
“Oooh?” Civilian rose their eyebrows.
“Not like that. I don’t know. We just fought. It wasn’t like we actually knew knew each other.”
Civilian nodded idly. That was about what they had expected. It was just their reactions around mentions of Hero were somewhat guarded. They supposed one didn’t have to be close to somebody to be struck by their loss. “What do you think happened?”
“They probably just settled down.”
“You think they’re ok?” It was the first they’d heard that theory, most everyone thought the vigilante was dead or kidnapped or undercover.
Villain nodded. “They weren’t the type to let someone get the jump on them. Besides they were always miserable as a hero.”
Civilian cocked their head.
“They were just always exhausted and angry and breaking down. I don’t think they liked being a hero, even if they were good at it. Anyway…” Villain ate the last bite of pancake and stretched their arms over their head as they rose. “I better get dressed and get going. What are you doing today?”
“Just grocery shopping,” Civilian said. “I’m going to make orange chicken for dinner.”
“Stop spoiling me,” Villain said, kissing them first on the head.
“I guess I just can’t help it. …I love you.”
Villain hesitated, but eventually, they took Civilian’s face in their hands and pressed a long kiss to their lips. “I love you too.”
***
Civilian swung the grocery bags in rhythm with their steps. The music blasting from the speakers in the square had them swaying and skipping like a dance more than a walk. A crowd of people were gathered across the street, some dressed in blue masks and capes.
Right. The unveiling.
Civilian idly crossed the street toward the crowd. They couldn’t stay long—they had ice cream in their bag—but they couldn’t say they were uninterested in this memorial. Hero intrigued them. What sort of person was willing to sacrifice so much for other people? Even after they disappeared, they were still making an impact. There was something sort of amazing and sad about all that.
The music died down and the microphone squealed in the hands of a smartly dressed woman in a grey pencil skirt and puffy, white blouse standing on the steps in front of the covered statue.
A dull pain started behind Civilian’s eyes. Was getting up so early affecting them?
“Welcome, everyone. I appreciate you all coming out this afternoon for Hero’s statue unveiling. Hero was my friend. No, more than that. They were my mentor. And I was with them the night they disappeared. You've probably all read the story. We got a call for help at an old factory, and Hero ran ahead.
“I was only a few feet behind when I saw a flash of light through the windows. When I got inside, Hero was gone. I never saw them again. Sometimes I still expect them to turn a corner or walk onto our old training grounds. To come back into my life.”
The pain spread up into Civilian’s forehead and temples, a throbbing sensation like someone knocking on a door to get in. Or maybe to get out.
Civilian clutched the side of their face. What was going on? A really bad migraine? They probably should just head home for some pain medication and lie down. And yet…they couldn’t seem to move. They picture the scene the woman had described clearly. Almost like each painful throb was focusing the picture clearer in their head. Had they been to the same factory? Maybe they’d seen a picture in the news when Hero first went missing.
The woman stared out across the crowd.
"It left me wondering, what do we do when the person who does the saving needs saved?" She paused. "We step up. We become the heroes. Hero inspired me to be better; they wanted all of us to be better. And today we honor their belief that ‘everyone possesses a little bit of heroism; they just have to be brave enough to use it.’”
Another stab of pain, worse than the others. Almost like their skull was being ripped in two. A scream pushed up their throat, lying threateningly just behind their teeth.
Villain. They should call Villain. They dropped one grocery sack and fumbled for their phone.
“Hero was always secretive about their identity,” the woman continued in the background, “but for the first time, I would like to share with you all the face of a hero. I would like to give them the honor and credit they deserve. Ladies and gentleman…our Hero.”
The sheet dropped.
Civilian’s scream was lost in the ecstatic shouts and applause. They dropped to their knees, legs and heads and bags blocking everything the bright spots flashing across their vision did not. For moment all they could do was tuck their head into their chest against the concrete and wait, trembling fingers still a button click away from calling Villain.
After what seemed like forever, the pain dulled and they were able to stumble upright.
Slowly, they blinked the blur from their eyes, taking in the horror of what they now already knew: the statue wore their face.
***
Villain flicked on the hall lights just after midnight.
Hero sat at the center of the room, kitchen chair dragged right into the entryway.
“Sweetheart?” Villain blinked a few times. “What are you doing sitting in the dark?” They seemed to quickly read the wrongness in their face. “Is this about missing dinner? I’m sorry, I should have called, but—”
“I’m Hero.”
Villain froze. Reddened. Paled. Ever the chameleon.
“Ah, so you did know.” They weren’t sure if that was better or worse. If Villain had fallen in love with them as a civilian maybe Hero could have excused them and saved some of the aching, quivering shards of their broken heart. But knowing that the deception had been intentional, well, now Hero had the freedom to explode.
“How did you…?” Villain swallowed. “Do you remember everything?”
“Not everything, but I remember you. And I remember me. And enough events between us to know this never should have happened.”
Villain took a step forward, and immediately, Hero stood to take a step back. Another step forward. Another step back. Forward. Back. Forward. Back. Until Hero was up against the wall and Villain only an arms length apart.
“We can talk about this,” Villain said, outstretching their hand.
Hero only stared.
“In what world is this getting solved with a talk? Our entire relationship, the entire three years we’ve been together, are a lie.”
“But you’re happy! You said it yourself! You’re brimming with happiness! Overflowing with happiness! With me!”
Hero slammed their fist into the wall behind them.“Happy? You took advantage of me! Manipulated me!”
At that, Villain looked affronted. “I didn’t manipulate anyone! You approached me that night! I tried to send you away; I tried multiple times to avoid you; you didn’t want to. And when I did give in, I never pretended to be anyone other than I am. I even told you what I do, and you were all too accepting, like you’d dealt with it every day.”
“Because I had!”
“Then what was I supposed to do?” Villain cried, throwing their hands in the air.
“You could have told me!”
“That would have defeated the point!”
Hero went rigid. Villain covered their mouth. Their eyes plead for mercy Hero was not capable of giving.
“You did this?”
Villain’s lip trembled. “It was meant to be temporary. A few hours. I didn’t know it was going to last three years! I tried to make it right at first! I tried to trigger memories or to come up with some sort of reversal machine, but I couldn’t figure it out, and meanwhile, you kept coming and coming and you just seemed happier this way! And things got so good, I got scared of ruining it!”
Hero stared them down, waiting for the ramble to sputter out. Their reply was slow and cold.
“You gave me amnesia and then made me love you!”
“I didn’t make you love me.” They took Hero’s chin. “It just happened.”
And that was what hurt the most. Hero couldn’t deny it. No matter the false circumstances or how their returned memories rebelled, the feelings had been real. But veracity did not make any of it alright.”
“Then I guess this is where it ends.” Hero smiled weakly. “Goodbye, Villain.”
They felt past feeling as they edged around their lover ex-lover nemesis’s shocked form, picking up their bag, packed and ready for the last six hours, at the door.
“Hero!” Villain lurched forward, seizing them by the wrist and yanking them around. Their other hand tangled in their hair as the pulled into a desperate kiss, gruff and noxious and pleading.
Hero stomped hard on their foot, ripping away as Villain yowled and fell back. The criminal barely allowed the pain a second thought, scrambling after Hero’s determined stride.
“Hero! Hero, I love you! I love you, I love you, I love—”
“You do not!” Hero shouted. Regrettably some emotion edged in on their fury; a few tears slid down their cheek. “You loved a version of me. A dead one. A made up one. Maybe I made them up. But they are not me.”
They stormed out without another word, leaving Villain crumpled and weeping on the floor.
Master Taglist
@moss-tombstone @crazytwentythrees-deactivated @just-1-lonely-person @the-vagabond-nun @willow-trees-are-beautiful @cocoasprite @insanedreamer7905 @valiantlytransparentwhispers @whovian378 @watercolorfreckles @thebluepolarbear @yulanlavender @kitsunesakii @deflated-bouncingball @lem-hhn @office-plant-in-a-trenchcoat @ghostfacepepper @pigeonwhumps @demonictumble @inkbirdie @vuvulia @bouncyartist @lunatic-moss-studio @breilobrealdi @freefallingup13 @i-am-a-story-goblin @ryunniez @rainy-knights-of-villany @distractedlydistracted @saspas-corner @echoednonny @perilous-dreamer @blood-enthusiast @randomfixation @alexkolax @pksnowie @blessupblessup @wolfeyedwitch @thedeepvoidinmyheart @cornflower-cowboy @bestblob @a-chaotic-gremlin @espresso-depresso-system @prompt-fills-and-writing-spills @paleassprince @takingawildbreath @yindonessy @psychiclibrariesquotestoad @harpycartoons @pickleking8 @urmyhopeeee @goldenflame2516 @tobeornottobeateacher @talesofurbania1 @sweetsigyn
#hero x villain#heroes and villains#creative writing#heroes and villains community#writing snippet#writblr#villain#writeblr#angst#hero x villain community#amnesia
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Ok so another part to your yandere alastor series?! Im like obsessed with them, i love the way you write Alastor!!
So an idea i guess? I love the idea Alastor slowly corrupting his kids and reader trying her best to correct them? Obviously she can’t. Idk, i can see Al wanting his son carry on his legacy while his daughter is becomes a sweet but strong woman who can probably destroy your life in a matter of minutes. I just want his kids to get corrupted to become like him!! 😭
IN A MOURNING WARNING, NO ONE HEARD
[hold up! read the rest of the story first!]
— day by day, alastor ruined your children with his malicious thoughts, while you set them straight. it’s as if evil and good decided to fight their battle in your house.
every day in this house was a headache. sleeping beside the monster called husband every night, him cuddled up to your side as if he hadn’t broken your hopes for years. acting in front of your children as if everything was fine— that they had parents who were madly in love with each other. and, raising your children. of course, raising them in itself is difficult, but alastor seems to just enjoy making your life a hell on earth.
implanting evil thoughts into your babies’ minds, and there was no one else but you to fix his mess. to instill morals in their minds, and to make sure they grow up to be diligent and kind.
sitting down at the dinner table seemed to grow harder and harder each day. resisting the urge to vomit as your son told you and alastor of how he found a rat at school, and how he had cut its’ tail off to see if it’d regrow like a lizard. the image of your little boy being so cruel made you sick to your stomach. and, alastor, he’d done nothing but laugh. “oh, my! quite the experiment, my boy!” he chuckled as he took another bite of his food. “now, dear… that isn’t very nice, don’t you think?” you frowned. “mmh, but dad said that i should feed my curiosity!” noah pouted.
“well, dad is true on that. but, you shouldn’t feed your curiosity if it hurts other people or animals.” you said, lecturing him. “au contraire, my love.” alastor interrupted. “id say that curiosity is one of the most important human emotions! how else do you think mankind discovered to hunt and cook chicken, pork, beef…” he rambled. “they are good for the body, aren’t they? they give the body protein so that they’re strong and so they can protect the people they love! don’t you want our little boy to protect his friends and family?” he raised an eyebrow. “yeah, momma! so that i can protect you and emilia!” noah said.
you felt your heart crack at his words. it seemed as if there was no hope in undoing what alastor had done. as if the little boy you worked hard to raise died. but, maybe there was still hope for your daughter.
“oh, and dad!” noah said excitedly as he looked to alastor. “my friends think its so cool that we go hunting, and they wanna join too! can we bring them, please?” noah begged, bringing alastor’s amusement. “aw, they want to join us? hm, i suppose we could, but only if they’re as well-behaved as you!” he hummed, to noah’s delight. “really?! you’re the best, dad!” noah grinned, running to alastor to loosely hug him by the neck. “yes, yes… now, go finish your meal. your mother worked hard to cook that, and it won’t taste so good when it’s cold.” he said, patting his son on the head.
you zoned out, staring at your daughter in her chair, playing with her food, and scratching the bowl with her little fork. she giggled and talked to herself, before blood started flowing from her nose. “oh, dear…” you muttered under your breath, running to the kitchen to get a tissue paper. “eww! momma, emilia is drinking her own blood! yuck!” noah called out, scrunching his face in disgust. and, when you returned, emilia was, indeed, drinking her own blood— licking her top lip as the blood leaked, and smiling at the metallic taste in her mouth. “oh, emi, sweetie… don’t do that. blood is yucky.” you scolded your daughter as you wiped the blood from her nose.
“yummy!” she shouted, licking her lip for the remains. alastor grinned at her comment, “i couldn’t agree more, baby!” he laughed, swaying the water in his glass. “not right now, alastor. emi is bleeding.” you huffed out in a frustrated manner. “ah, i suppose you’re right, darling. emi, baby, are you okay?” he cooed to your daughter across the table. “i’m okay, daddy!” she grinned, going back to eating as per usual, despite the roll of tissue in her nostril.
“are you okay, my love?” alastor asked, his eyes moving to you. “i’m alright, just exhausted today.” you let out, keeping your emotions and intentions to yourself. “hmm, then why don’t you rest after dinner, dear? noah and i can wash the dishes.” he assured you. “wah?! but, dad, i wanna go play!” noah huffed and pouted. “now, son… protecting also means to help others when they are tired. don’t you wanna help momma?” he asked your son. and as noah thought it over, alastor spoke again, giving him more of an incentive. “now, i hate to do this… but, if you don’t help your mother, i won’t bring your friends to hunt.” noah’s eyes widened at the unfairness. “what?!” he frowned. “guh, fine, ill do the dishes!” he pouted, gathering the cleared dishes and bringing them to the sink. “hmph, good boy.” he grinned. “go rest now, dear.”
and, as you went up the stairs, that moment finally dawned on you. that hunting with his friends and father meant so much to him, he was willing to do household chores. it shattered your heart as tears filled your eyes— why couldn’t you go back to a simpler time? when it was just the two of you. when all you had was each other.
“momma, i missed you!” noah said hugging your legs as you returned from work. “aw, i missed you too, baby!” you smiled at your precious boy. “c’mon! i wanna play with you!” he said, attempting to pull you by your wrist. “in a second, sweetie! momma has to take off her heels!” you laughed.
that memory was 6 years ago.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor#alastor x reader#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#hasbin alastor#alastor hazbin x reader#alastor hc#alastor headcanons#human alastor#alastor the radio demon#yandere alastor#yandere hazbin hotel#yandere
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I saw that insane buddie shipper on X telling a journalist to kys cause they dared to write positively about bucktommy. And all the toxic buddies replying to them saying the journalist is delusional and ‘they let anyone write articles now’.
They’re upset cause um, he’s reporting on a queer couple who were part of a huge storyline last season? Cause um he said there were cute and explained the scene? So people can’t even just say what is happening on screen and be happy about it now. They’ve reached peak delulu toxicity.
Also that journalist is exceptionally experienced and respected and their reviews are well-liked. But they have an issue with him cause he’s not feeding their delulu. But they’re cool with badly written clickbait and journalists posting interviews that are basically badly edited transcripts of a whole convo instead of a curated story. Ok then.
like i said, fork found in kitchen
awww sorry that an actual tv journalist is covering canon events and being a little snarky, why don't they crawl back to their usweekly buddie-baiting "journalists" and give them the clicks that are the only thing keeping them writing about buddie
i guess if you're not writing about buddie you're not allowed to add a little flavour to your articles, no everything has to be dry facts and pessimism.
i hope they throw fits over his reality-driven articles every week until they realize the truth they've been deluding themselves against seeing
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