#like obvs i washed them in the shower but like idk

[yourworldiseternallycomplete]

literally im crazy so this probably isnt relatable but i'm working on becoming more embodied and less neck up and smth that has genuinely helped is washing my feet every day and also doing my fingernails and cuticles n such

[im-yn-suckers]

♡back hugging +×+♡

pairing- ot5 bf txt x fem reader said to be a lot shorter in soobin's (def not my 5"4 ass being salty)

warnings- kissing, yj on his flirt agenda, kinda , gyu being gyu, back hugging obv, swearing l think that's it

i haven't posted abt txt in a looooong time so here we go

•yeonjun•

he was making ramen bc ramen. you come out of nowhere, back hug him and then u ask,

-"babyyyyy, can u make me one pls?"-

-"do one thing for me and sure"-

-"god what do u want now?"-

while he's busy stirring the ramen, he sticks out his lips in ur direction. and ofc u kiss him.

u both let the ramen sit and after a few minutes, u go to check on it. he comes up out of nowhere js like u did. boom, like that he's behind u. let's js say that he scared the shot out of u.

he puts one arm around ur waist and one on the counter next to u. night ending its a kiss and food.

°soobin°

who knows what tf he was doing but u hugged him. ur cheek was on his back, occasionally u turned ur head to kiss his back. he looked over at u but u were so goddamn tiny next to his 6ft ass. he turned around to have u face him and him face u

he rubbed ur cheeks and kissed them lightly.

-"why binnie?"-

-"because"-

he ended up having to sit u on the counter bc he is giant asf and u are tiny asf. anyway, he kissed u and u kissed him, end of story

♧beomgyu♧

his first reaction was,

-" what the fuck are u doing?"-

-"showing u that i love u but since u wanted to be a bitch"-

u walked a way, but he grabbed u again. he'd probably blush ngl

later in he'd ask and u'd have no idea why u did it

-"why did u hug me earlier?"-

-"uhm, cuz ur my bf and cuz I can and bc I love you, idk. how should I know?"-

-"you're the one who did it!"-

-"mkay and? what tf does that have to do with anything?"-

-"ykw, I don't even care anymore, wanna order takeout and watch a movie"-

-"eh sure, why not?"-

after a while, u two ate and u were crying cuz of the movie.

-"baby~ don't cry, it's js a movie."-

js imagine he said that in a teasing way, dw lots of kisses cheered u up

♡taehyun♡

hybe gym, after workout and after shower. u tagged along while he worked out and u were on ur phone, or u worked out. ur decision

u dried his hair, he kissed ur stomach in his effortlessly cute taehyun way. u back hugged him while he grabbed his stuff from the locker. u told him he smelled good.

-"thanks, now that i don't smell like ass, kiss me"-

u kissed him bc any sane(delulu) person would. he asked for like five more, which u gladly accepted.

◇huening kai◇

lil baby, he built a fort for u two while u were in the kitchen being the adult in the relationship. (sometimes) he walked into the kitchen and sat next to u.

u stood up to get water, and back hugged him, after u washed ur cup. no. he's pink, red all those colors. his ears, hischeeks, neck, and even his nose. he turned around and kissed u.

dw guys ended up sleeping in the fort. and tons of cuddling.

the end

bdjdbdks, anyway bye. ur friendly reminder to take a break from slaying all day ✨️

[why-the-heck-not]

how do you study/code everyday? Genuinely asking, like how do you maintain focus and not get distracted or stop when it gets hard? Ignore the following question if you live your major and school and all that: how do you not get sad? And if you do what do you do when that happens?

With love and admiration, a fellow computer science student who is struggling so much

Heyy and thank you for the ask!

Honestly, I get very distracted a whole lot. Like 50% of my days are procrastination bc I don’t want to do things. And I don’t study every day, but most days just bc I’m bad at taking full days off bc of The Guilt lol. Waking up early has helped me a ton, bc even if I procrastinate the morning bc don’t want to start doing things, it’ll still be early. The annoying thing to say, but it rly does feel like u have more hours in a day that way.

For stopping when it gets hard: I have this one playlist that’s like 30mins long, and everytime I wanna give up, I put that on, and it’s like a ”okay just gotta work until this playlist stops”-thing. And sometimes I do just stop after bc I’m getting nowhere, but sometimes that ”permission” to stop doing things actually makes me want to get them done. And sometimes u luck out and figure out the thing in that 30mins. (Sure a timer would work as well but I time my time with music a lot of times idk)

And yeah I get sad, bc like who doesn’t. Idk, I feel like the key is to try move on the second u can. You had ur bad days and can’t do anything abt that now, so wallowing & feeling guilty about that is not gonna do anything. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, and a week or so won’t ruin things. Trying to not get stuck in it, the cycle of ”I’ve fucked this up ohno” and getting more depressed from that and then continuing to not being able to do anything is very real. At that point, u gotta remind urself that any little bit helps (if that’s either towards the school things or like washing piled up dishes; anything to move anything along helps to get urself out).

Also big thing that has helped me; no social media when it gets bad !! All that ”respect the grind” ”that girl” ”grind mindset” etc. makes it feel way more shitty. But also the mental health awarness side sometimes makes it too easy to be ”yeah so im sad, im not going to even try to do anything” (it’s fine obv when u just can’t, but when u notice 2 years have gone by bc ”i’m just having a bad day today” everyday, it’s no longer selfcare). So idk, what helps for me is to have the bad days just by myself in the bubble and at some point getting up and doing a thing. Which sometimes/usually snowballs into a couple things. And never underestimate the power of taking a good long shower. Everything seems more doable after a shower idk why. Also I think I say this in about every ask but WALKS !! Are so good !!!!! For everything !!

[spacemancharisma]

Hey you said feel free to ask hygiene questions. How often should you be doing stuff? Like showering, washing hair, washing bedding? Washing re-wearable clothing like jeans or jackets or bras that I think you can wear multiple times without needing to wash?

Idk other esp hygiene or cleaning activities that you need to do sometimes.

Like they tell you brush your teeth twice a day but not how often you need to wash other things.

yeah this is a really good question! I’m putting it under the cut since it got p long lol

so showering is ideally every day, but that can be difficult for some people, so as close to that as you can manage is good. if you have days that it’s too much, wiping down with a rag or a baby wipe is good. be sure to thoroughly clean your genitals/butthole every night before bed, just for your health. on baby wipe days, i get that whole zone really clean, and also my armpits, feet, and anywhere my skin folds over bc sweat tends to trap there. wash your face well at least once a day (I do it in the shower) and if you’re up to it, give it a good scrub with just water at the other end of the day. there’s no hygiene gain or loss from shaving any part of your body, so do that as much or little as is your preference. I put on deodorant at least twice a day (when I wake up & after I shower), or whenever I’m feeling sweaty/stinky.

washing your hair really depends on its length and texture and I can only speak to white person hair care, but as far as that goes- I have thick, curly hair, and I wash it every 2-3 days. people with greasier hair tend to wash it more often. like with most things, a good test is to wash whenever it starts to have a smell, or more frequently than that lol. comb your hair out when you wash it to keep it from getting matted. people with straight hair brush it dry, too, but that isn’t something I do personally.

clothes go by the smell principle too, mostly. shirts can get two or three wears unless they’re sweaty/stained/stinky. pants made of a thick material can usually last a week, though some people stretch their jeans out even more if they’re good material. again- if it starts to have a smell, put it in the laundry. bras are also good for a week or so at a time as long as they’re not stinky. jackets and stuff go by the same principle, and they last a long time usually, since they don’t touch your skin directly. underwear should be changed at least once a day and not reworn, same with socks.

washcloths should only be used once, but bath towels can get two or three uses. hand towels should be switched/washed about once a week.

people tell you to change/wash your bedsheets once a week but I don’t know anyone who does that lmao. changing your sheets every two weeks or so is usually good; you might want to do so more frequently though if you’re sick or eating in bed or having a lot of sex or something hfbggjg

like you said, brushing your teeth is standard once in the morning and once at night. if you want to do a bonus one halfway through the day, that’s probably good for you, but most people don’t. brush your tongue when you brush your teeth- it only takes a couple seconds and it does a lot apparently. get a new toothbrush at least every 6 months, if not more often.

body chores: clip your finger/toenails as often as works best for you. I can’t stand having long nails so I trim them once a week, but that would obvs be different if you like long nails. floss as often as you can, but don’t feel bad if you’re not consistent- very few people are. put lotion on your body if your skin gets dry- I recommend aveeno, it’s not greasy and it works really well. if you have sex toys, clean them before and after every use (it’s a pain but you do Not want to fuck with any kind of germs down there).

household chores: clean toilet- once a week. clean bathroom sinks/tub: once a month (clean mirrors while you’re at it). empty trash cans- once a week. clean kitchen counters- every time you cook. clean stovetop- once a week. dust- once a month but this one’s kinda optional lmao. laundry- before you run out of clean clothes/towels. dishes- before you run out of clean dishes. floors- my family vacuumed/swept once a week growing up but as an adult I just kinda follow my heart here lol. change pet litter- at least once a week.

health: you’re supposed to see your GP once a year for a regular health check, and that’s good to get blood work done to make sure your hormones and such are all balanced, but it’s okay if you don’t keep a super strict schedule with that. dentists you really should see once every 6 months, or at least once a year. if you have a uterus, get a pap smear done every 5 years. get checked for STIs with each new partner, or once a year. keep track of your period if you have one so you know if there are irregularities; change tampons/pads as needed, you know best, but remember to never sleep with a tampon in. give yourself a breast self-exam at least once every few months, if applicable. drink water consistently throughout the day, listen to your body and eat when you’re hungry, try to have at least one fruit or vegetable a day (doesn’t have to be whole/raw, just get those nutrients where you can). the average number of times in a day to pee is apparently 6-7, but I’d say anywhere from 5-10 is normal, idk I’m not a pee expert. either way, stay aware of your body and it’s needs and don’t hold your pee if you have literally any other options- your kidneys are important and that hurts them. you should poop 1-2 times a day, not accounting for any health conditions that might change that. do your best to get 8-9 hours of sleep a night, and get your body in motion for at least 30 minutes a day- this could be a gentle walk or even doing household chores, the important thing is to keep your muscles and joints flexible. do some basic stretches once a day.

and some closing remarks- I’m really proud of you for reaching out to ask, cause I know it can be really hard to talk about this stuff. there’s absolutely no shame in ignorance, and similarly, there is no shame in being dirty/smelly. as humans, we tend to keep ourselves and our surroundings clean because it’s better for our health and our sensory experience, and it makes us more pleasant for others to be around, but it’s important to remember that none of this is a moral imperative. I grew up in a house that made it seem like you were a bad person if you were dirty or you smelled like BO, and that’s not a healthy or accurate approach to things. keeping proper hygiene when you can is important, but because it makes your life more pleasant to live, not because it’s a sin or a slight to do otherwise. just do your best to take care of yourself, and you’re doing great 💜

[3spurrrr]

Do they shower? Weirdly detailed :)

Yuuji: yes! And suprisingly he IS very particular about his hygiene. Like he does use soap and and a washcloth and makes sure that everything is clean. Lowkey I think he sweats a ton and he is quite socially aware so he wouldn't want to be embarrassed about smelling badly around others and make them feel awkward as well

Megumi: girl he will show you that you actually DONT know how to shower. This man uses some techniques and products you have never even thought of. He also takes frequent baths with cute oils and salts and just soaks cuz it's good for his muscles (he likes the warmth of it cuz he is too shy to ask for a hug)

Nobara: lowkey, I think she showers like twice a week (to each their own) but she never smells bad or has any other problems but I can 100% see her shaming you for not showering like everyday/every other day even though she doesn't do that herself hahahaha average nobara based moment

Also she is a brush teeth, do skincare and solve world hunger, beef with imaginary scenario everything all at once in the shower kinda gal

She does fuck heavily with her skincare and haircare routine tho. Like don't fight her on that shit.

Maki: just. Like. Megumi. Don't ask me why or how. It's purely intuitive and I am right. I can see her carrying a weapon into the shower for sureee, that woman is ALERT

I feel like she takes extra good care of her hair. She probably just uses soap on her face cuz she's just that ❤️❤️ and not that her hair is shit but I feel like she secretly likes to do a hair mask and put some special treatment on that scalp

Inumaki: he does shower. He probably is an average shower person. Doesn't take long. Does clean himself properly tho. Maybe he will forget his ass from time to time. I can see him being a tad bit in the "bruh, that's some gay shit" area of thought and belief hahahaha but if so, it's a short short phase don't worry

Panda: .... he smells like the sun 🌞

Inumaki splashes some water on him from time to time or they'll go to a river/ hot spring place and panda would have the time of his life lol

Todo: I can see him being like megumi and he has way too much self respect to let himself not be clean and tidy at all times. Imagine military man.

Idk why but I can imagine him with such a fruity nice scent. Like todo the type to smell like hello kitty perfume or strawberries and watermelon lmaooo

Gojo: yes. But he likes baths for the same REasOnss as megumi, would never admit it tho. He'd be like: baths take too long bla bla bla, showers are 100 times better and efficient

Gojo.... we know. Stop hiding its okay...

Weirdly also puts a lot of emphasis on skincare even though we all know that man can just regenerate himself down to an atom and not let any bacteria touch him ever lol

I also think one of his love languages would be to put his fave EXPENSIVE face masks on you lol cutie 💓

Geto: ....mmmmmmmmmm yeeessssss he can wash you too ;))))))))))

Idk I recently started liking geto and anything he does is just shmexy now

He obv showers very thoroughly and is super super keen on cleanliness in general

Shoko: soaks in baths all day with her wine and cig. Regenerates herself to make her skin go back to normal and would go to work (idk why I feel like gojo and shoko would arrive together :) maaan I just want gojo to have some friends lmao I can imagine shoko just picking up gojo everyday while gojo gets some pancakes for breakfast lol)

Nanamin: do I even have to elaborate ? Of course bro DUHHHH

He showers or takes a bath every night. It relaxes his muscles and helps him sleep better.

Also would know a lot about the chemicals in common products so you will only find some niche brand products that are ethically sourced and mostly natural organic. He doesn't like anything he can't pronounce as an ingredient.

Utahime: yeesss. Only bathes tho. Idk why but I feel like she'd be super condescending about the debate between baths and showers. She'd be all like MIMIMIMI, BATHS ARE SO MUCH BETTER FOR YOUR SKIN AND DIRT ACTUALLY COMES OUT OF YOU MIMIMI

She is quite annoying in my eyes sometimes but I still love herrrrr

Takes good care of her skin, nails and hair and frequently gets massages on her body and face. Uses a gua Sha and rollers and shit to promote blood circulation and keep her looking delicious

Choso: my baby Is just there for the baths and he secretly has a bath duckies collection. He doesn't play with them in the bath but he just collects them around him cuz he always gotta play the big brother father figure SOMEWHERE

I think out of all the people he really WOULD wash his ass hahahaha like choso seems so responsible and reliable I'd trust my life into his hands and my ........ nvm 🙂

Mahito: idk if cursed spirits and stuff can have a smell like humans do, I don't think so, so there is no need for him to Shower tbh unlike choso who still has human traits due to being half human.

I'd think that mahito is either FILTHY AND REEKS or is suupperrrr anal about being clean

Toji: *cue shower panel*

Only showers when there is visible dirt on him lol and since he is a killer he showers every damn day multiple times. Not out of will but out of necessity. Just a bar of soap and his big juicy claw hands. I can't see him using a washcloth sorry

Megumi would have to teach him lol

Norithoshi: yes!!! He is also very particular and I feel like he'd be ocd too about his cleanliness. A mix of nanami and megumi. Sometimes he does too much tho and once damaged his skin barrier but nothing shoko couldn't fix and he couldn't learn from hahaha

Sukunaaaa: I'm extra delusional and hedonistic and indulgent when I think about Kuna. Sooo idc what the fuck you have to say or what the evidence suggest. I don't care that he is a cursed spirit thing too, he is SO SO CLEAN and diligent with his cleanliness

He smells so good too. His hair is nice and soft and his skin is to die for. Literally, truly A GOD, A KINGGGG

Let's you paint his nails often and sometimes you draw dumb shit on them and he scolds you for it but doesn't take your designs off hihihihihi

Mid fight smiles cuz he noticed those nails hihihiihiviviivksdjfjsnakka God help me 😭

[easyboi]

that makes sense, I prefer to let people see me coming anyway, the reactions are cuter ;p

I'm 5'4 with my shoes on so like, any taller than you and the height difference starts to present a serious barrier to kissing, and esp my ability to initiate a kiss, which is unacceptable /hj

does that mean cig smell like, accumulates inbetween showers like bo does? I never thought about that before, and I've never been with anyone who smokes around me so idk how much it bothers me, but it would be sad if that was the only thing you smelled like. pits aren't really a thing for me as far as I know (altho if anyone was going to convert me it would probably be you lol), and also not into like, bad bo? but if I like you and we're fucking I do tend to get attached to however you smell thats like, a good smell (to me). also the way boys rooms tend to smell the same way they do but more intense is definitely hot. maybe also kinda gross but like, sex is gross, so whatever.

thats fascinating tho in terms of like, thats the line between good disgusting and bad disgusting for you. kinda like, the good kind is 'wow thats gross, why do I still want you'?

also thank you, I'm glad you like it, because it *is* genuine, like, appreciation for some real, quality, grade A weirdness, like you don't see that every day. and being as into that as I am is what makes *me* a freak lol - S

there's always pulling on a shirt to get them to bend down for you 👀

nah it def washes off, but i smoke inside so it's in my clothes too, and lots of ppl find it (rightfully) nasty. like i think it does affect your smell permanently for as long as you smoke, but the worst is clothes and mouth but brushing ur teeth before kissing obvs helps. no idea what i smell like Naturally since i'm used to it but hopefully not too bad lol

also i mean bad disgusting def has a place too, don't get me wrong, but there's something to be said for that balance if that makes sense

there you go again with the perfect mix tho ��� freak for freak i guess lmao

[starshipsofstarlord]

Dark Inside

Pairing | Wanda Maximoff x reader

Summary | she’s locked away, by the orders of the government. And you are the guard that is chosen with the responsibility of taking her to shower. Surely nothing unprofessional could unfold...

Warnings | nudity, smut, its a little dark I guess idk, shower sex, brief mention of infection, oral sex (fem receiving obvs), fingering, swearing

Requested ✖️

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

“Maximoff, get up.” You barked at the convicted avenger, whom kept her head down, staring at the cement floor of her cell. You rapped your hand against the door of her cell, as her head tilted towards you. It was her fault she was here, not yours, there was no reason for you to pity the strange woman, for her actions had come with consequences, and she knew of them before she decided to stand against the governement. “Now, I won’t ask again.”

It was a warning, and she fully understood that, no matter if her ability to read minds was restrained. That collar, metal and encrusted with a luminous red light, prohibited her from bewitching any one or any thing. Her arms were also bound together, limiting the possibility of her escape. She was the perfect prisoner, pretty and withheld, unable to exhume damage across the world, as she previously had done.

Wanda slowly came to stand, her eyes filled with emptiness as she slowly strode to the door, which you came around to. Hastily, you pulled it ajar, watching as her teammates converted their protective eyes towards you, wary for their friend. You hardly paid them mind as you escorted Maximoff through the walls of their holding, and through the corridors.

She plodded, like a barren mare, eyes sullen and downcast as you escorted her past the empty halls, and towards the shower room, where you lightly shoved her forward, lightly smirking as she did not struggle against the pressure you enjoyed roughing her up with. Out of all the government official inmates, she was by far your favourite. Her mouth remained shut, no sounds left her defined cheeks, all emotion was tucked away, in that blue suit that constricted her.

“Alright Maximoff, let’s get you out of this tight number.” You smirked at your own words, your hands pulling at the blue gear that kept her arms folded. As you stripped her, you could not help but let your hands scrape her pale sides, running down her waist as you pushed the navy suit down, keeping the collar on of course, as you reached behind her, watching as her breasts lightly bounced from the action.

Next to be removed were her panties, her feet shuffled as you dragged the material down, feeling as your eyes bore into her pussy lips, though you didn’t keep your gaze up for long. Instead of staring at her pretty cunt, you stood and tapped her ass. “Forwards girl.” She obliged with the action, moving slowly under the shower head, wrapping her arms around herself as you reached around her, your covered breasts pressing against her back as you turned the spray of water on.

As you moved away, you noticed how she tried to keep her modesty, not changing her stance of having her back turned to you. Her hands slowly raked through her dark hair, stroking the grease out of the strands as you watched, as was your job to do. Her back was thin, yet strong. She had held onto so much throughout her life, supporting her team, and that amounted to nothing more than declaring her a sentence.

People saw Wanda as a danger to society, here she was safe from causing more pain upon the world, restrained from reigning damage upon the earth. It had been ten minutes of her pathetically grazing her body with her shy fingertips, her attempts to cleanse herself were poor. “We don’t have all day inmate, if you want to actually be ridden of all that sweat and dirt that you’ve collected whilst being contained in that bag that clothes you, I suggest you get to scrubbing. Quickly.”

From you words, Wanda gulped, though nevertheless began to massage her knuckles on the midst of her chest, down to her stomach, and... she felt almost sick as she was about to wash the most private part of herself in front of someone. But she had no choice if she didn’t want to guarantee herself the severe cost of an infection down under.

Taking in a calming breath, that did little to actually calm herself, Wanda cupped her mound, lightly rubbing, her body jolting at how sensitive she was. A shuffling alerted her ears from behind, and she watched you kick her restraint suit lightly, her head prompting its gaze over her shoulder.

“Time is up, get dried and dressed.” The words sounded like a curse free falling from the curve of your lips. She didn’t want to be returned into that box, until the next time she required to use the lavatory, or her every other day shower. It was more constructing than the clothing that she was forced into, the four walls caging her in like a wild animal on show for children to see.

“Can’t I just have a couple more minutes?” Her voice was rough, sounding like seething sandpaper, for she had not used it in weeks. She usually spoke to no one, and thus it was a surprise when she finally did, more so when it was you.

“I have a tight schedule.” Your teeth gritted as you tutted deliberately at her enquiry. “But if you want my help to allow you bask in there a little longer, it’s gonna cost you, baby girl.” The sound and context of your voice made the young woman shudder, aware that your silent suggestion was an invitation for something deeper, and not one for the light hearted to take up on.

But she never considered herself weak at the knees from emotions, not anymore. There had been too much pain, and too many losses to think of herself as such. She could get through this, coil into your offered whim, or she could keep her dignity in tact, though it wouldn’t be complete for she would still remain tangled with her own dead skin clinging onto her for dear life.

“What do you want?” Her accent, which had somewhat faded a smudge, rang through your ears, making you curiously squint at her. But you said nothing, instead, pulling your shirt over your head, cocking your neck at the woman as her eyes went wide, seeing you be so forwards with your intent.

“I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate Maximoff.” You spoke as you kicked your boots off, toying with your belt, as your eyes denied to leave her bare skin. “Why don’t you turn around, so that I can see that lovely little bush I expect you’re growing.” She wasn’t sure if your words brought her somewhat comfort, or had her skin crawling, there was now a thin line between the two.

Nevertheless, the woman turned, blessing your eyes with her full silhouette. She was admittedly beautiful, especially out of her restraints, except of course, that heavy metal collar that forbade her from using her scarlet witchery. “Come closer, I’m not the one here that supposedly bites the hand that feeds.”

As her body spiralled around, to give you a clear and overall view of her body, you couldn’t admit to yourself that you were impressed. You had been right, there were hairs beginning to peak out of her skin, and her breasts, well they were like balanced bowls of water, awaiting for someone to drink from them.

At your words, Wanda gulped, though she did not stop moving, she instead, paced her feet forwards, not withholding her motions as came to stand before you, nervously licking her lips as she watched you toy with the waistband of your bottoms. It was uncertain if you were teasing her or yourself, though she figured that she best not complain, you were the one in charge here, and one step out of line could leave all her efforts for nothing.

Eventually, after moments of nerve wrecking and pent up expense, you dragged the cargos down your legs, showing her the blankness of your grey underwear. Grey was an understated colour, she saw it all around; from the falling of her country, to the walls that the government had encased her within. But this particular shade, encompassed quite literally against your skin, making her no longer envision it as a dull exterior, but instead an exciting barrier that concealed all the goods beneath its plain material.

Without instruction, Wanda dismissed herself unto her own knees, collapsing her weight down upon the back of her thighs as she tucked her hands around the back of your shins, her green eyes boring up at you, as she pressed an experimental kiss upon your thigh. “Go on Maximoff, earn yourself that extra shower time.” You kicked your panties off, leaving your bottom half bare to the enhanced woman, rolling your shoulders back as you took a steady breath through your nose.

Your fingers cascaded through her long locks, gently tugging her closer, forcing her to breathe in your scent, before her tongue darted out, licking a fine line along the outside of your lips. A frown settled upon your face at her obvious lack of knowledge when it came to pleasing a woman, though you allowed her to continue to explore herself, holding your lip between your teeth as you hungrily stared down at her.

“Good girl.” You coaxed her as she allowed her eyes to lightly flutter, her fingers, small and agile, reached up to part your pussy open, allowing her more access to what was behind its curtains. “Focus on the clit Maximoff, uses your fingers too.” Instead of your instructions leaving you as orderly, as you had planned them to pass in your head, they heaved from your chest in a breathy whisper.

Wanda complied with your verbal assistance, circling her warm and wet tongue around your special bud, rotating it around in her mouth as she pulled the pink ball of flesh into the confines of her mouth, striking it with rolls of her spinning saliva. Her hand trailed down from your lips, rubbing the pads against your slit, as you leant your head back, her nailed digits moving towards your entrance.

Her fingers fumbled, as one tried to surpass the entrance of your pussy, but slipped, only for her to try once more, succeeding to have your cunt swallow her digit into its lubricated depths, suctioning it within the confines of your walls. “Fuck, you’re not terrible at that inmate.” It wasn’t supposed to come across as a compliment, rather it was a noted observation to yourself. Though Wanda still muffled a moan against your mound, pumping her finger in and out of your walls.

Her administrations sped up, causing you to clench around her ravaging fingers, that albeit messy and irregular with their movements, were bringing you closer to fulfilling your satisfaction. It was wrong, to get off using the aid of an inmate, but she was far too compelling to just leave to her own innocent devices, alone in that little cell of hers. “Fuck.” You came over her face and fingers, rutting your hips as she lapped up your sweet nectar.

Once you had rode your orgasm out, you shoved her head away, falling down onto the tiles, and laying her down, spreading her legs wide as you by palmed at her perfect breasts. “Such a gorgeous little cunt. I knew that you’d get off on this, there’s a tantalising darkness to you, and that is what pulled me in.”

Your palms caressed her thighs, stroking soothingly down the parting of her legs and her centre piece, throwing your face between her revealed boudoir, trailing your tongue in quick motions up and down the expanse of her cunt, your fingers running languidly upon her swollen clit.

The fuzz from her growing hairs rubbed against the bottom of your face, but you cared not about the natural order of her body; in fact, it was kind of sexy. Your tongue entered her, slipping through her folds as you tasted everything that she had to offer you, tracing the shapes of figure eights within her flushed walls, your cheeks pressing against the insides of her cheeks.

“Oh my gosh.” Another few words that fell from her open mouth, her hands grasping the solid slate of the floor, as her hips lightly bucked up into your mouth, strings of moans dribbling off her tongue. “I- I-“ you soothed her thigh, confirming that it was okay, and all she had to was release all the tension building up within her.

And with that, she spilled, her swarm of essence falling onto your tongue, as your tongue eased out of her cunt, raking up the length of her pussy, cleaning up the mess that you had made of her.

“Looks like you’re gonna need another shower Maximoff.” You smirked, as you pulled your mouth away from her dripping cunt, her juices painting your rabid smirk in the most beautiful resolution. “I’ll let you have that extra time now.”

[cyrsed]

top surgery stuff // drugs ment ///

it’s so nuts that i finally got top surgery, i’ve wanted it since i was like 14 and it’s finally done 🥺 i still have a ways to go to finish healing but it’s just so weird to think about 🥺🥺🥺 i’ll finally be able to wear like, tank tops and go swimming easier (altho obvs now there’s scars to explain and idk yet how wide my hips are gonna look now that my chest isn’t there to “balance” it)

i’m also very thankful that my healing is going so well ghslkfj everyone i have either known personally (or who my wives know personally) who’s had it done was like totally out of commission the first few days but i’ve feeling pretty much fine except the pain on the day i got surgery + the day after, and i’m hobbling around bc i’m worried about the bandages/ace wraps coming loose or pulling on something wrong or hurting me somehow lol. 

but i haven’t needed pain meds since the middle of the 2nd post-op day i think (and i just took tylenol), and my drains are technically at a level where they could be removed but there’s no availability for getting that done before my post-op appointment on friday.

i was super worried that the opiates i was prescribed wouldn’t work properly bc of me having only quit kratom a week before surgery, and i read some guy’s post about that happening to him and being in excruciating pain but thankfully that wasn’t an issue. i’m not taking the pain meds anymore but i also haven’t taken kratom yet, we’ll see if/when i try taking any (probably gonna go for at Least a full month off if not longer idk yet)

i can’t pick up my cats rn though smh i just have to have my wives pick them up for me so i can hug them lol :). & getting dressed is annoying. i did take a sponge bath and my wives helped wash my hair today but i still feel really gross ghsklfj can’t wait until i can shower for real and not have these bandages/drains anymore

also no post-op depression (so far) *fingers crossed* 

[crzytwn]

Alishander

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

Leander. He’s dramatic and is screamy even in the best of moods.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

Leander again

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

Bro idek Alicia? She’d come back tho, obvs.

Who trashes the house?

Leander would. ACCIDENTALLY.

Do either of them get physical?

no.

How often do they argue/disagree?

Once they get together I can’t imagine it being THAT often

Who is the first to apologize?

Cash?

Sex:

[Redacted because I refuse to consider threesome mechanics at this time]

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?

Ya, probably.

If so, how many children do your muses want/have?

IDK

Who is the favorite parent?

Cash is just BUILT to be a fun dad.

Who is the authoritative parent?

Alicia?

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school?

Leander

Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around?

Cash???

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children?

All of them, duh. But Leander specifically would STAN their kids in whatever they wanna do.

Who goes to parent teacher interviews?

Cash and Alicia. Leander probably got banned for being That Parent.

Who changes the diapers?

All of them. Duh. But Leander probably less because he’s such a diva

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby?

I have no idea how one wouldn’t be able to wake up without at least one other waking up too.

Who spends the most time with the children?

All of them? But Cash probably because they’d all watch trolls or whatever.

Who packs their lunch boxes?

Are any of them particularly foodies? Leander inexplicably stans goat cheese tho, so I hope it’s not him.

Who gives their children ‘the talk’?

It’s a group endeavor!

Who cleans up after the kids?

Leander would do it magically

Who worries the most?

Cash? Alicia?

Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?

Leander

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle?

I wanna say Cash the MOST but they all do

Who is the little spoon?

Cash again, only because I feel like Initially Alicia would not be trusted to try and scurry away to try and give the boys “space” so she’s squished into the middle.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

Alicia is the most Adventurous 

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?  

Leander

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Forever, jk it’s three of them so idk I feel like it’ll get hot fast

Who gives the most kisses?

Leander

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

Spending time with each other idk

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?

Probably in bed?

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other?

Leander

How often do they get time to themselves?

I don’t knooow

Sleeping:

Who snores? If both do, who snores the loudest?

I think it would be funny if Leander snores in his sleep and no one clues him in so he can’t fix it

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

Share!

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

Cozy

Who talks in their sleep?

Uh feels like a Cash thing?

What do they wear to bed?

Leander naked, Idk about the other two

Are either of your muses insomniacs?

No? Right?

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

idk

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

Some wrapping and draping, they don’t come off like they’d lay in bed like 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️

Who wakes up with bed hair?

Alicia and Cash, Leander would rather die

Who wakes up first?

Uh? Alicia?

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

????

What is their favourite sleeping position?

???

Who hogs the sheets?

Feels Alicia-like

Do they set an alarm each night?

Probably?

Can a television be found in their bedroom?

No because Leander would be worried about getting tricked into having to watch a movie.

Who has nightmares?

Cash?

Who has ridiculous dreams?

Leander or Alicia idk

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

Leander

Who makes the bed?

magic

What time is bed time?

when they wanna sleep idk

Any routines/rituals before bed?

No?

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

Leander is a little bitch

Work:

Who is the busiest?

Uhhh Cash or Alicia

Who rakes in the highest income?

Cash or Alicia?

Are any of your muses unemployed?

Leander likes performing but doesn’t have a specific goal for that yet so most likely him?

Who takes the most sick days?

idk

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?

I don’t KNOW

Who sucks up to their boss?

Cash?

What are their jobs?

I sure don’t know? Cash does directing and Alicia’s into…archeological…things? Right?

Who stresses the most?

Cash

Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

Idk

Are your muses financially stable?

Ya

Home:

Who does the washing?

magic

Who takes out the trash?

magic

Who does the ironing?

magic

Who does the cooking?

idk

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

Leander

Who is messier?

Leander but he can clean it up so

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?

Leander also, but at least he can magically replace it when Cash and Alicia scream

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

I don’t know?

Who forgets to flush the toilet?

No one

Who is the prankster around the house?

I could see their magic kiddos being pranky

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

Uh Alicia???

Who mows the lawn?

Magic

Who answers the telephone?

They have cellphones

Who does the vacuuming?

Magic

Who does the groceries?

Imma say Cash idk he feels the most competent

Who takes the longest to shower?

Leander or Alicia

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

Leander

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?

Nah. 

How many cars do they own?

Two. I’m almost certain Leander doesn’t drive.

Do they own their home or do they rent?

Own

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside?

Probably the coast since Alicia’s a lil merlady

Do they live in the city or in the country?

City, I’m guessin.

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

They’re surrounded with each other so duh.

What’s their song?

Today I’m saying It’s Sleeping With A Friend by Neon Trees

What do they do when they’re away from each other

Text or Facetime like crazy

Where did they first meet?

Auradon Prep or whatever high school they all attended

How did they first meet?

They all tripped over each other on the track field!

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

Leander

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?

Leander

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

Leander because he’s the jerkiest but aww memories of how they met

Any mental issues

Surely, but i’m not looking into THAT

Who’s terrified of bugs? Who kills the spiders around the house?

Leander keeps them

Their favourite place?

Idk

Who pays the bills?

Idk

Do they have any fears for their future?

Probably

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

Leander

Who uses up all of the hot water?  

Leander

Who’s the tallest?

?Leander?

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

All of them

Who wanders around in their underwear?

All of em?

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

Leander because he thinks he’s the best at it

What do they tease each other about?

Idk lots of things

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

Leander is really a whole jackass

Do they have mutual friends?

They ARE the mutual friends

Who crushed first?

Uhhh? It’s a fight between Cash and Leander cuz Cash MIGHT HAVE but Leander’s been incredibly vocal about it this whole time.

Any alcohol or substance related problems?  

No

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

Alicia, queen of the gutter

Who swears the most?

???

[thefivecalls]

Things I associate with each of the sides for no reason

Logan:

I understand he's supposed to be dark blue or indigo. Regardless, he will always be teal. This teal:

For some reason when I got detention that one time I got a Logan vibe so yeah theres that

"Space... The final frontier..." But uhhh just the opening has his vibes

Why is he always whereing a neck tie and not a bow tie? If anyone has necktie vibes its Janus not Logan

Logan also has chaos incarnate vibes that are only in check because of his last shreds of humanity one of these days he'll break and when he does thomas can and will set something on fire using bill nye the science guy tactics

He is waking up early and going to bed late

He is framing posters

He is dancing in your bedroom to awesome music that has never been such a vibe before that moment and will never be again.

Broken clocks

Beaker from the muppets? I don't quite get it but yeah

Rock of ages

Getting a pitcher of soda or tea or whatever and setting it on his desk, then getting 23 straws and taping them together so he can lay in bed on his phone and safely drink it without spilling

Grilled cheese

Kahoot music

Remus:

Death waltz. Not the synthesia no the one that takes 14 people to play.

Canoeing

Obviously he has close combat weapons but have you thought about giving him a bow and arrow? I have and yes thats a vibe because he is one of three people I've ever met with those vibes ok

Portable speakers

He is bonfires and fireworks.

He is hyperfixating on something and writing a story until 4 in the morning.

Potions!

The fact that witches ingredients are actually just named strange things but are edible somethings? Like mustard seeds being newts eyes and the like

Acid

In my human anatomy class we dissected deer hearts and when we found the blood clots we called them the Forbidden Jellies.

The county fair

The circus that comes around at fall festival time

Homecoming game in football/rugby

I feel like if he played an instrument he'd be a baritone

The lime green smoke Disney villians have

Roman:

Zootopia the movie

Hopping. Or bouncing in place.

My family's crest?? I think its because of his crest but he had those vibes before the outift upgrade???? Idk

The ponytail thing that give you a unicorn horn when you've got short hair but bangs that are beginning to grow out

He is picnics at the park

He is also going shopping

He is also dancing in the rain at four in the morning with the outside lights on and the music blaring but its ok the neigbors are four acres away and they sleep like the dead.

When I went to my first metal concert and I saw the mosh pit? The exhilaration that comes with wanting to join but not wanting to get crushed is a Roman thing.

Pancakes

Cold pizza at midnight

Succulents!

Fire and cane whiskey

The warm smiles that the bearer never gets to see because they don't get the chance to see it in a reflection

Butterscotch

Janus:

Springtime showers that makes snowmelt rivers

Prom. Dont ask this is just a him vibe ok

He seems like the guy that would make a blanket cacoon/nest when his bedsheets are in the wash and can I say mood

Sunlight

Looking off my back porch and seeing the feilds of corn beginning to dry out in late fall every three years.

Pumpkin soup

Apple cider

Lemonade

Not only is he snowmelt rivers he is also the first thunderstorm of summertime

Sun tea. Not the brand the stuff that you make via harnessing the suns power

Cucumber facemasks

Wildflower honey

The person who youd never guess goes to comic con but is actually the one who wins first place in the costume contest every year

Oversized sweaters

German Sheppards and yellow labs sunbathing after playing for hours

Antique mirrors

Burlap canvas bags

Oil paint

Espressos at ten at night

Late night chinese food runs

Dragons

Spice. Not the average spice either I'm talking could eat a carolina reaper and yes he'll be more red but he could still talk and thats more than I can say for myself

Virgil:

The red rubber balls from kick ball in elementary. By god I can smell the plastic just thinking about it

Flappy stims! Almost every time I flap he comes to mind I never really questioned it

The weighted blanket my dad got that I steal from him all the time

'He's a Mary poppins in a world of hasselhoffs" my friend once said that not even talking about Virgil but like. Come on.

Basically all of Star Lord's vibes are Virgils

Deadpool

Jack Skellington (kinda obvs)

Sample perfumes that are like the size of a pinky

Telescopes

Not writing an essay but instead learning all about world history or astronomy or psychology

Earings. Specifically hoops

Black pearls

Boardwalks that have tiny shops along them with a bunch of food.

Going to a club or a party with flashing lights and even though you're kinda nervous you have fun and live like tomorrow is still a dream away.

Ripped movie posters that the theater is selling

Tying ropes together to make nets.

Fairy lights

Taping movie theater tickets to your wall after you've gone and seen it

Scarecrows sitting on bales of hay at sunset next to my willow tree and the cicadas are on their 13th year so they're the loudest they'll ve until another 13 years have passed

The glint in someone's eye when they think of something mischievous

Bang by AJR

The corpse bride's tale/song

Patton:

The lazer eye meme. This one

Graham Crackers. Not smores, not candy crack-just the cracker ok

Pep rallies

The pet store??

Sugar sculptures

Corn pits (strictly midwestern thing)

Driving for hours upon hours and seeing the strange statues some towns have as you pass them by

Silver sparkles

Art herpes glitter

Photo booths

Riding in the back of a pickup truck on the county's main road

Wedding crystals cabinet where you put the fancy china you're going to give to your children that never gets used once but is probably worth half your house

The chubby bunny challenge

The moment when you tip your chair back too far and you know it but you can't do anything because you'll be on the floor in a second anyway

The thing maya did from Girl Meets World when she slammed lockers closed and caused the chalkboard to let its dust fly

Dusk.

That moment when everything is going by so quickly so you step back and watch the world go by for only a few seconds but then you're back in the present laughing with your friends

Snow cones melting and getting the syrup all over your hands

Orange Side:

All things citrus but especially lemons no not oranges lemons

Sunglasses

Men in black 1 not the rest just the first

Pineapple too hes got a lot of pineapple vibes

Combat boots but with spikes

Also lace?

And tea. Like, all kinds of tea but especially the really expensive stuff that I've only tasted like twice thats imported from Ireland

Himalayan salt lamps.

Sensies. the wax melting things

Candles too

Once we meet him I'll have more but this is it for him for now

Thats it! If this gets notes I might do emile remy and thomas but I think I'll leave this be for the moment. Have a great day y'all!

[syfynjvall]

OTP ASK GAME - farah & juliette

tagged by @havennly thank u!! i’m gonna tag @agentnatesewell @bryceslahela @agentfreckles @serafinedupont @agentnats if youve done it already i apologize ksks

(long post warning)

DISAGREEMENTS.

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

juliette, but it’s honestly never anything serious. more often than not its just bc she gets very competitive during game nights

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

neither, even kidding about it kinda hurts each others souls

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

neither

Who trashes the house?

i cant see either of them doing it

Do either of them get physical?

never in a million years

How often do they argue/disagree?

not often, and when they do its mostly about petty things like leaving empty containers in the fridge

Who is the first to apologize?

both are good about it

SEX.

who is on top? Who is on bottom?

hmmm they switch

any kinks?

welllll jules put on her old cheerleading uniform from college as a joke once and farah was into it. theyre both into roleplay

who has the strangest desires?

jules

who’s dominant in bed?

it’s a pretty even split

is head ever in the equation?

yes

if so, who is better at performing it?

probably farah

ever had sex in public?

once. under the bleachers at the football field. pretty cliché

who moans the most?

uhh both

who leaves the most marks?

farah

who is the more experienced of the two?

definitely jules. she had a LOT of fun in college

do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

make love. it’s very special for both of them bc they know they’re gonna last

how long do they usually last?

it depends but both of them can usually go pretty long

rough or soft?

typically soft, but rough if theyre in the mood

is protection used?

no

does it ever get boring?

no

where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

dont know? maybe in an empty room in the agency? idk lol

FAMILY.

do they plan on having children/or have children?

oh yeah definitely

if so, how many children do they want/have?

juliette loved the look on farahs face the first time they talked about it and she said she wanted ten kids. it was a joke obv but they probably end up having three or four. jules always wanted siblings growing up and she was sad she never got that wish so she doesnt want her own kids to be lonely like she was

AFFECTION.

who likes to cuddle?

both of them are huge cuddle bugs and they get cozy almost everywhere

who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

juliette

who struggles to keep their hands to themselves?

both

how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

their cuddles can last a while but farah probably wiggles away first

what is their favourite non-sexual activity?

they love girls night out and its even more fun when tina joins them. put the three of them together and its basically nonstop chaos, but so fun

where is their favourite place to cuddle?

predictable, but the bed. jules is one of those extravagant mattress people so her bed is basically a giant pillow and its very comfortable

SLEEPING.

who snores?

both

if both do, who snores the loudest?

jules, and you better believe farah teases her relentlessly

do they share a bed or sleep separately?

jules WAS a very picky sleeper until she got together with farah, now she gets pouty if they dont share a bed

if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

they cozy up, but juliette is a blanket hog so she usually ends up with most of the covers

what do they wear to bed?

jules usually just wears a top, farah wears pajama sets

are either of them insomniacs?

no

can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

not before everything that went down in book one, but since murphy, yeah. jules has a hard time falling asleep now

do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

definitely cuddly sleepers

who wakes up with bed hair?

both

who wakes up first?

farah. she’s usually the one to rouse juliette when she’s about to be late

who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

neither of them can cook so... neither lol

what is their favourite sleeping position?

farah loves being the little spoon and jules loves making her feel safe so

do they set an alarm each night?

jules does but she hits snooze at least six times a morning

who has nightmares?

juliette, and farah has no problem soothing her back to sleep when she wakes up

can a television be found in their bedroom?

yes. they’re both obsessed with trashy shows

who has ridiculous dreams?

farah!

who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

again, juliette is an unfortunate bed hog

who makes the bed?

farah. juliette is cute but she’s not always that tidy

what time is bed time?

whenever jules feels like it, and farah will follow her lead

any routines/rituals before bed?

other than the typical going to bed things, no

who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

farah probably

WORK.

who is the busiest?

both are pretty busy but since juliette has two jobs i guess she is a little bit more

who rakes in the highest income?

juliette probably?

are any of them unemployed?

UB gets paid right? so neither then? lol

who takes the most sick days?

juliette. her “bend the rules” stat is at 88%

what are their jobs?

detective and agent

who sucks up to their boss?

definitely not jules. farah might a LITTLE bit since rebecca is juliette’s mom but i think we know how that turns out lmao

who is more likely to turn up late to work?

despite juliette’s aversion for rule following she’s usually pretty puntcual at least, so im gonna say farah

who stresses the most?

im gonna say neither

do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

farah loves hers for the most part, jules feels like hers is more of a chore but she does love interacting with people.

are they financially stable?

yes

HOME.

who does the washing?

farah. once again juliette isnt super messy per se, but she is a bit cluttered

who takes out the trash?

both

who does the ironing?

jules is pretty good about that

who does the cooking?

neither. they both try but they’re both disasters so they order out mostly (more than they should)

who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

it’s about equal because again, they’re disasters

who is messier?

juliette

who leaves the toilet roll empty?

farah

who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

neither

[redacted] you are not going to miss this question.

who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

both

who answers the telephone?

juliette

who mows the lawn?

they dont have a lawn

who does the vacuuming?

probably jules

who does the groceries?

when they remember to do it, they like to go together

who takes the longest to shower?

jules

[redacted] you are not going to miss this question.

MISCELLANEOUS.

is money a problem?

no but farah does love buying stuff

how many cars do they own?

just one

what’s their song?

it changes but rn lucky by jason mraz fits them so well

do they live in the city or in the country?

juliette LOVES city life and farah thinks it would be fun too so they plan to move to the city one day

do they own their home or do they rent?

rented for now, for juliette anyway

do they enjoy their surroundings?

jules has a nostalgic fondness for wayhaven but again, really she’s itching to live in the city. farah likes it too but it’s a little too mellow for her liking sometimes

what do they do when they’re away from each other?

oh my god, theyre both clingy babies so they’ll be pouty and sad and constantly just text each other

where did they first meet?

juliette’s office

who spends the most money when out shopping?

probably farah

who’s more likely to flash their assets?

jules, but farah will too

any mental issues?

juliette definitely has ptsd after book one, and then its worsened after the trappers (she saved farah so she had to see sanja die)

who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

they both do lol

who’s terrified of bugs?

im thinking farah

who kills the spiders around the house?

juliette

do they have any fears for their future?

they’re both afraid of losing each other, mostly. juliette also worries a bit that maybe farah will get sick of her because she’s a “lot,” she was always told by past bfs/gfs that she was a handful or too wild or whatever so she worries she might scare farah off but when she voices that thought farah is very quick to very seriously assure her thats not going to happen

their favourite place?

the bar, also the forest to stargaze or picnic

who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

jules, but it’s definitely at a restaurant lol

who pays the bills?

definitely juliette

who’s the tallest?

jules is 5’9, farah is 5′4

who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

farah

who wanders around in their underwear?

jules

who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

both!! theyre both so goofy about it

what do they tease each other about?

pretty much everything, they’re bantering almost constantly

who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

neither of them are exactly fashion experts, so

who crushed first?

juliette

any alcohol or substance related problems?

no, jules enjoys drinking but she knows her limits

who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

jules

who swears the most?

both

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Cornelia Street (7/9)

A/N: oh my god they were quarantined

yes. It’s one of those fics.

AU, obvs

I’m posting as I go and idk how many parts this is going to be, likely won’t be very long but I literally don’t know what I’m doing and should i be starting yet another WIP? definitely not but fuck it lets fucking go

Title is from T-swizzles Lover album, I’m OBSESSED

Summary: Three years ago, Kurt and Blaine went on a disaster of a date and never quite got off on the right foot. Now, just before they graduate from NYADA, there’s a national outbreak and they’re both self-quarantined in a mutual friend’s apartment.

Read On AO3

On Tumblr: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Part 7

Kurt runs his hands through his hair, shaking off the last suds of his shampoo out of it before shutting off the water. Sara Bareilles’s voice is still leading him to thoughts about Blaine, and how he led him in the dance yesterday with the gentle swing of his hips. 

It had been nice, to say the least. Dancing with Blaine in his arms had felt like he’d finally found the missing puzzle piece he’d been searching for his whole life. Waking up next to a still sleeping Blaine should’ve been awkward, but only felt like the most normal thing in the world, a routine that was way too easy to settle into and—

Shit.

He is in way too deep and he hasn’t even kissed Blaine yet. 

Woah, yet? That’s a little presumptuous of you, isn't it? 

If he’s going to. If Blaine even wants him to.

Kurt needs to stop thinking about Blaine ASAP, but his brain has made it clear that that’s not quite an option at the moment, so instead, he just turns the cold knob on the shower.

He heads to the kitchen when he’s done, and he’s met with the sight of Blaine humming along to Despacito while he finishes cleaning the dishes they’d used for dinner last night. Kurt can’t keep from cracking a smile.

“Having fun?”

Blaine, obviously a little surprised by Kurt’s presence, lifts his head and his mouth twitches up into a grin. “Actually, yeah. I used to hate doing the dishes when I was a kid, but then I got this job at a fast food pizza place. I realized that as long as I was washing dishes, I didn’t have to deal with customers. It sort of pavloved me into liking it.”

“God, that's such a mood.”

“The other explanation is that I’m training to be a fifties housewife.” Blaine shakes his head and makes a face, placing a plate on the drying rack. “Sorry, that was dumb,” he mutters.

“No, it was funny,” Kurt raises an amused eyebrow. “And if we’re going by the fifties’s standards, I suppose that makes me the workaholic husband.”

“Well, have fun at work, honey!” Blaine calls out, face twitching up into a grin as he holds back a chuckle.

Kurt walks up to the door as if he’s going to head out (which, they both know he can’t actually do) and pulls a coat still hanging on the rack by the frame of it. He drapes it over himself and waves to Blaine. “I will, make sure to pick up the kids early from school today!”

“Oh yeah, little Feta has a soccer tournament this afternoon, doesn’t he?”

“Feta?” Kurt raises an eyebrow. 

Blaine shrugs. “Yeah, like fettuccine Alfredo? Alfredo is a valid name.”

“Okay, if you get to name our son that then I’m naming our daughter Audrey, as in Audrey Hepburn.”

“I support that.”

“Now that our kids have proper names, I suppose I should be getting to work, huh?” Kurt asks. “Those taxes aren’t going to file themselves. And I have a long commute from here to the computer.”

He turns to leave, but Blaine laughs and quickly grabs the nearly empty box of cereal on the table and holds it out towards Kurt. “Wait! Don’t forget your briefcase!”

“Silly me! How could I forget, thank you!”

Kurt doesn’t even think about it—he’s too into this strange and weirdly fun game they’ve set up. As Blaine hands him the cereal box in lieu of a fake briefcase, Kurt tucks it underneath his arms and leans forward to press a quick peck to Blaine’s lips. Blaine reciprocates, lightly placing a hand behind Kurt’s neck. 

It isn’t until they pull away that Kurt realizes what he’s done.

They go absolutely still for a moment, eyes locked, neither daring to move any closer or further from the other.

Kurt wonders for half a second if he accidentally crossed a line he shouldn’t have.

And then the next half of the second Blaine’s lips are on his, hands grabbing desperately at his waist, so sudden and intense that the momentum sends them stumbling backwards a little. They don’t stop until Kurt’s back hits the table, and he sinks his hand into Blaine’s satin soft curls. 

The gesture elicits a small gasp from Blaine, who slides his hands down Kurt’s back and tugs so that their bodies are flush against each other’s. Kurt reciprocates, pulls him closer, kisses him harder until they’re just this chaotic bundle of bumping noses and roaming hands.

They finally pull away, Kurt’s blue eyes wide as a prairie because he had wondered if Blaine was picking up on the same thing he was and… well, he certainly doesn’t have to wonder anymore.

“Sorry,” Blaine mumbles, shaking his head with a sheepish smile on his face. “I uh, don’t know what came over me.”

Kurt doesn’t hesitate to pull Blaine back in for another embrace. “Me neither,” he breathes. And in all honesty, he doesn’t really care. All he knows is that this quarantine thing just got a lot more bearable. 

*

“I don’t think you’re playing this right.”

“Nonsense, I used to play this every day at lunch with the New Directions. Cards were easily the best way to pass the time. Santana even showed us this one game called Chingasos… which is surprisingly violent for a card game…”

After making out for… quite a long time (like, a really, really long time, not that Blaine’s complaining), they’d set some blankets down in the living room floor and exchanged card games. 

Kurt is currently sitting across from Blaine, cross legged and explaining the rules of Spits as they play. There are two piles, and the point of the game is to get rid of all your cards by placing them on top of either pile, but only in numerical order. If both piles have the same number card, you could slap the top of the piles, say “spits”, and the opponent would have to take all the cards.

They both place 2s on either piles of cards, and Blaine jumps to press his hands flat on top of them. Kurt has been playing this game for years, though, and is too quick for Blaine, so his hands land on top of Kurt’s instead of the cards. 

“Eat ‘em and weep,” Kurt says with a cocky grin, shoving the pile of cards towards Blaine.

“Isn’t it read ‘em and weep?”

“You’re stalling.”

Blaine mocks a scoff, mostly because he is. “Are you implying that I’m causing a distraction in order to prevent my loss?”

“Okay, nobody talks like that, you’re definitely stalling.”

“No, this is stalling,” Blaine says. He tugs Kurt’s hands and rolls backwards on the blankets, pulling Kurt on top of him and leaning up to kiss him and abandoning their card game. He can feel the smile in Kurt’s lips and can’t contain a grin of his own. 

When they finally release each other, Kurt lets out a contented sigh and rests his head on Blaine, draping his arms over his body, fitting in in every space Blaine didn’t even know was waiting to be filled.

“This is gonna sound weird, and kind of random… but I feel really safe with you,” Kurt says.

Kurt’s head, resting on Blaine’s chest, lifts when he laughs. 

“Heard that, coronavirus?” he jokes. “Actually,” he continues, starting to absentmindedly trace shapes on Kurt’s back with his finger. “It’s funny that you say that, because you kind of make me feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff.” He realizes that may not have come out exactly as he wanted it to. “I mean, like, in a good way. Not in a I’m worried you’re going to push me off way.”

“You’re probably just about the only person I can stand in a ten mile radius, currently, so I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

“What about Adam?” Blaine finds himself asking. His heart is a canon in his chest, and he wants to pretend he doesn’t know why he asked that question, but he knows exactly why. 

He’s falling fast and hard for Kurt, and if he runs back to Adam the moment Blaine stops being his only choice, again, it’s going to suck. He’s heard stories about people who got stuck in elevators for twelve hours and then eloped the second they were rescued. And then the inevitable divorce that followed.

Blaine doesn’t want Kurt to want him because he’s bored; he wants Kurt to want him the same way he wants Kurt. 

“Adam and I over for a reason,” he finally replies calmly. 

The urge to just stupidly blurt out Which is? is so strong, and Blaine’s honestly surprised he doesn’t. Apparently, though, his silence is enough of a cue for Kurt to continue.

“I—and feel free to stop me… if it gets too weird or too–if you don’t want to hear this.”

“You can say anything to me,” Blaine answers without hesitation. Kurt’s cheeks pressing harder against Blaine’s chest tell him that he’s smiling.

“Okay… I think I just got swept up in the idea of finally being in a relationship, or of finally having someone who wanted me that I didn’t care if we weren’t necessarily right for each other. I mean, at the time I certainly didn’t have enough experience to know that it wasn’t right.”

Blaine hummed in encouraging agreement, urging Kurt to keep going.

“I think we were both hoping the other would evolve into the person we wanted them to be, if that makes sense. Like, I’m… I’m pretty naturally guarded. I don’t always wear my heart out on my sleeve and I think that bothered him.”

Blaine nods. Though he doesn’t feel like Kurt is particularly withholding around him, he can see why people would think that. Kurt has told Blaine all about what he endured during high school. That would be enough to make anyone a little wary of the world.

“And I don’t know if there are just parts of me I wasn’t willing to share because I’d be sharing them with him,” Kurt continues. “But there were parts of my life—little things, I’m not in like organized crime or anything—that were just for me. I’m fairly social, but if I needed an hour alone after he had friends over, he took it really personally.

“On the other hand, I always thought he took life way too seriously. Every single show or song we listened to had to have some sort of profound deeper meaning or else he labeled it as trash. What an exhausting way to live!”

Blaine chuckles. “I know what you mean. I dated Sebastian for a while, and he would constantly talk about his summer trips to Europe, which was interesting at first but after a few weeks I realized that that seemed to be the entire focal point of his personality.”

Kurt laughs. “Yeah…”

“Anyways, you were saying?”

“Oh, right... well, back in December I was watching When Harry Met Sally with Rachel and it was that scene where Sally says “We never do fly off to Rome at a moment’s notice”. And I just… realized. I went to get things from his place that night and applied to live in the NYADA dorms again for the next semester.

“I guess it was just never right with Adam. It took me way too long to figure it out. I think I might’ve figured it out sooner if we’d finished our date,” he mumbles absently, like he’s just thinking out loud.

Blaine has to bite his cheek to keep from smiling so damn hard.

They lay in easy silence for a moment, holding each other until a high pitched tinny noise interrupts them. Kurt whips out his phone and Blaine sees the Snapchat notification.

“Oh my god,” he sputters out incredulously.

“They really made a Quarantine filter,” Kurt says in awe.

Kurt unlocks his phone and presses the button to access the filter. It’s greyscale, with a blinking red dot in the corner, like it’s supposed to mimic a found footage movie. At the bottom of the screen is written “Day ___ of Quarantine”.

“Come on, let's take a picture,” Kurt says, casually hiking an arm behind Blaine’s neck and settling his head higher up in Blaine’s chest. He quickly snaps the picture of them cuddled up together.

Blaine watches Kurt, grinning when he types out the caption in two separate blocks of text.

Do you have your quarantine buddy? 

Yes, I have my quarantine buddy.

Part 8

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

Skincare/ makeup culture ☕️

oooh. i’ll divide this post into two parts: makeup culture and skincare culture.

(1.) makeup culture.

i think everyone knows that I’ve never liked makeup, mostly because I had relatively bad cystic acne throughout high school, that reacted badly to all of the makeup that my sister used (but most particularly her l’oreal foundation). I think makeup culture is particularly harmful to young girls, like the makeup youtube channels that are run by the parents I suppose of 8 year olds, where the 8yo is the actual youtuber.

like don’t get me wrong, i know young girls like playing with makeup (I actually did when I was that age, funnily enough)….. but the fact that professional or just plain fucking ridiculously expensive makeup palettes are now being marketed to girls in bloody primary/grade/elementary school, is just fucking wrong. and yeah there’s the post on here about how some younger girls are finding themselves ugly when they don’t wear properly applied makeup or something like that. and that breaks my heart. why the fuck should a young girl be made to feel ugly if she can’t blend like josiemaycosmetics (I made that up btw idk any makeup channels besides Jeffree star, James Charles and that tatti woman tbh) and can’t afford the bullshit Too Faced $98 powered foundation, $65 Sunday Riley blush (I roughly remember the price of this particular blush bc my sister bought it for me for my 20th birthday so that I could according to her “look good for uni” but I never actually used it lmao… and it’s no longer sold here in australia) and Kylie Jenner’s overpriced lip kits and idk Smashbox “photo finish” primer priced between $AU23-$AU55????

like I had this bad enough in fucking HIGH SCHOOL with my sister telling me that I’d “never get a boyfriend” or “never get a date for the formal/junior prom” if I didn’t spend hundreds of $$$$ for a good face of makeup and didn’t spend hours and hours learning how to do my own makeup. or how last year for my uni grad, she made out that I’d ruin my own uni grad if we didn’t spend $250 on the makeup artist we got for me….. where I unfortunately found out that my skin reacts to MAC products 😭😨 bc the MUA used MAC concealer and foundation. my sister also expected me to remember the setting spray the woman used for my makeup, when I was there from like 4:30am till like 6:45am and i was barely fucking awake. the setting spray probably could’ve easily cost over $100. let’s be real here. like why am I expected to remember shit that early in the morning???

one of my least favourite things with makeup culture is that you’re not meant to fuck it up in any way, shape or form. like when my sister did my makeup for my two high school formals/proms (year 10 & year 12) she constantly told me not to scratch my face while she was doing it (but it made me itchy, hooray for L’Oréal being shit lmao)…. not to fuck it up while I ate at those events….. and she didn’t let me eat before my uni grad last year bc “you’d definitely fuck up your makeup. don’t you dare scratch your face at all today!” like for someone who has hypersensitive/highly reactive skin that she has to scratch when it’s itchy….. and also loves fucking stuffing her face with food….. expecting me to never touch/scratch my face and to practically starve myself to preserve the integrity of my makeup (that i ended up paying for some in the end anyway) for an event is fucking stupid and over-restrictive.

like i always hated the way that the kardashians ate on KUWTK bc it looked so fucking mechanical and whatever bc they had to obvs preserve their makeup while shooting and also look nice for the camera. like why the fuck am I expected to eat ~like that~ when I have a faceload of MU on???? FUCK OFF. I will scratch it off. I will smear the food all over my face (ok not really) and eat however I motherfucking want, thank you very fucking much. like for my uni grad last year I was up from 4am and my grad ended at like 12:30pm….. so I didn’t have food til about 12:35 when I left the hall. and the whole time while I was eating my sister kept reminding me to not fuck up my makeup that we’d spent $250 on. JUST LET ME FUCKING EAT WOMAN, I SWEAR TO FUCK. lmao.

the last thing I hate the most about makeup culture is that like….. I absolutely hate makeup like I said above….. but once I have it on I feel pretty and cry a bit bc I’ll just never learn to do it myself…. mostly bc I couldn’t be bothered…. bc I save hundreds, if not thousands of $$$$ from not buying all the bullshit essential items you need just for a ~basic no makeup, makeup look~, and bc my hands have never been steady enough to use some of the things, like false eyelashes and eyelash curlers or liquid eyeliner/normal eyeliner….. 

but yeah. I just hate that it makes me feel pretty???? but I also feel good and more natural without it???? and I’ll never like my sister’s comment that: “you’re the prettier one out of the two of us…. but if only you hurried up and learnt to do your makeup, you’d be even prettier” or some dumb semi-condescending shit comment she’s said to me like that before. like why is the only way a woman can be pretty (other than some clothes that make her feel good) by smearing 100s/1000s of dollars worth of makeup on???? like why the fuck am I expected to spend all that money when a good bulk of men will never bother with the male makeup trend anyway???? like why am I expected to act differently when I basically just have grown up face-paint on lmao???? I’ve never felt natural in makeup, I’ve always felt awkward and like…. not sound like an cringey edgelord emo kid…. but i never felt ~real~ wearing makeup lmao. just yeah.

but yeah I also understand makeup is an art and I appreciate that. makeup culture is so fucked on all sides for women.

(2.) skincare culture:

now skincare culture is different for me. considering that, like I said before, I had relatively bad cystic acne…. and I’ve since also developed eczema during the winter months….. so I’ve had to develop a good skincare routine over the years to keep my skin under control. but again, there are parts that I don’t like about skincare culture…. like women are typically meant to spend, again, hundreds and if not thousands of dollars on super expensive skin creams (some of which I’ve tried) to fix their fine lines, their laugh lines, their crows feet, their blemishes, their birth marks and cellulite…… the list truly goes on and on….. and on top of that (well this hellsite which isn’t entirely accurate) I’m, or we as women, are expected to teach all of that to men in their 20s???? like fuck off. why and how the fuck didn’t they get the fucking memo to look after their own goddamned skin???? like my 20s are already tiring enough, and now I gotta pass on important skincare advice to men, who could easily fucking find it themselves online???? lord help their asses lmao.

but other than the men bit…. yeah skincare culture is just as bad as makeup culture. like when Cosmo mag was still running in australia, more than half of the shit the women at Cosmo were advertising as part of their skincare routines were literally $300 night treatment creams or moisturisers; $150 facial cleansers; or $500 skin peels, or $600 appointments at dermatologists and skin therapies like electrolysis that I’ll probs never be able to afford. like one of the luxury brands that I LOVE (💖) is Mario badescu bc the two pimple treatments that i sometimes I use from them (the drying lotion and the anti-acne serum) are the ONLY two acne treatments that have NEVER made my face turn red and my skin peel off (besides a really good neutrogena one that Neutrogena discontinued 😭). every other chemist bought pimple treatment cream makes my skin peel off/itchy/turn red. but sadly the two Mario badescu treatments are priced over $50 if bought together (ones now $31 (formerly $28, this one’s great bc it dries clear), the other is like $26, this one dries pink). so the chemist bought ones like the ones by Clearasil or OXY10 are my saviours at $11.99-$12.99, even though they dry out my skin to buggery and leave big white marks on my face bc they both dry white lmao. but I’ve gotta suffer that for the price of beauty lmao.

also there’s expensive face washes (or skin care program packs etc) from Paula’s choice that I love.... but again they were like $35 for a 400ml bottle and $25 for a fucking 150ml or 250ml bottle. now the one i like is $20 for 177ml, which is a rip off. some of the other luxury things that I’ve tried (via free samples) that don’t work, like Kate Somerville (priced at like $65 and over), Philosophy and god knows what else that i’ve bought from Mecca Cosmetica, which is the Aussie version of Sephora in the past. and yes, for acne treatments, i’ve used pro-activ before. it was ok… but i never used it in high school, after the awful time we had trying to cancel our subscription to it back in the day for my sister lol.

also can we talk about the ultrasonic face brush systems that are still raging strongly??? like they’re also super rip offs, especially with buying replacement heads for $35 a pop. like I’ve had a Clarisonic for years (that I’ve stopped using, admittedly)…. the model was roughly $250 when I got it for my like 19th birthday. now they’re even more expensive at like $315 for the latest “clarisonic mia fit cleansing system” which is linked on the $315. or now there’s the foreo that costs anywhere between $75 (the cheapest model) to fucking almost $400… ie $395. the replacement heads for the clarisonic and i suppose replacement like pads or something for the foreo are meant to be replaced every three months “for optimum cleansing” or whatever. like $35 every three months is a lot to maintain after a while. also using the clarisonic added like 10 extra minutes to my showers/general skincare routine bc you’re meant to use it for five mins or whatever and then spend another 5mins washing it out to make sure that it doesn’t collect mould and buildup too much soap residue. it was just a lot of effort to use, even if it did make me feel like i had a better and deeper face washing routine.

and yes, i know there’s Lush. both my sister and i (but more my sister) were obsessed with Lush back in high school, after one of our sydney cousins introduced it to us. but Lush’s skincare stuff for pimples just never worked for us. it made me breakout more, actually. but their old apple pie and choc-orange lip balms were the BOMB. it’s a pity that they no longer make them tbh. their jelly soaps were fun to use and smelt nice too. i can’t remember much else about lush tbh lmao.

for face masks, i’ve found that store/chemist bought formula 10.0.06 or whatever works the best for my skin. but the push, especially again in cosmo and other places, to buy more expensive face-masks and like designer FMs that you should really ask a professional to use first imo, is fucking harmful, especially when you’ve got ones that take off the whole top layer of skin from your face (like the famous and the overly popular charcoal face peel masks), or so i’ve read. like it’s yikes out there. please be safe with these masks, ya’ll. and the same goes for making your own organic face masks, considering that i’ve seen posts on here about using lemon juice which is bad for your skin??? idk anyway. i also hate how with the face masks i buy, there’s about 6 different “skin-illuminating”/“skin brightening”/”skin detoxing” etc masks, that all essentially do the same fucking thing. just keep it at one and fucking go; for gods fucking sake lmao.

but yeah, skincare culture does suck just as much as makeup culture, considering that is heavily focused on women’s self-esteem and wallets…. and barely ever focuses on men. like it’s a double-edged sword tbh.

also as side notes: why the actual fuck are makeup companies still giving their makeup shades or makeup lines sexual names???? like i just found a fucking blush shade by NARS, in my research for this post, called “Orgasm”???? like what the FUCK is wrong with ya’ll??? like y’all actually have the fucking AUDACITY to really make 8 year olds say that in their makeup tutorial videos as well??? “our best selling orgasm collection” sweet lord. that sounds bad. y’all need to sort your shit out, and so do the people who name nail polish shades.. 

the other worrying general beauty trends that i keep getting on my facebook newsfeed are the teeth whitening systems like hismile and at home laser treatment machines… and then also the charcoal toothpastes to whiten your teeth. oh and also the facial skin “vacuums”, that suck out dirt/oil and your blackheads/pimples etc from your pores. stay safe out there everyone, and do your bloody research. don’t believe the reviews and the hype.

also finally: take your skin type and skin condition/(s) into account if you want to use any of the things that I’ve mentioned that I use/have used on this post. or that I’ve just generally mentioned, like the Clarisonic and the foreo. because what works for me, might not work for you. I’m not a skincare expert or dermatologist. check with your doctor or a skincare professional or whatever before you start using some of these things, even if you might think that it’s stupid & pointless to do so.

[madeoath]

ik i said i wouldn’t be on today much but i’m thinking about stan’s ocd and particularly like. i think most of his compulsions are mental. we get some sense that his obsessive thoughts are skewed towards contamination (the poison ivy bit!) and obv his fastidiousness in the movie is meant to be read as a sort of “just right” ocd scenario, which i think is fair to an extent, but like. idk, we see him do things in very particular ways (when he’s washing the window in bev’s bathroom) but he’s never repeating the actions until he gets them “”correct,”” and the repetition is sort of integral to it being an ocd Thing, at least from what i’ve read. i think stan’s also just naturally a very detail-oriented and orderly person, and for a very long time he can’t really draw the line between what’s a normal amount of attention into arranging something & what’s a result of him trying to ease the feeling of “not right.”

we don’t really get anything on his contamination obsessions which, like, makes sense since we’re already getting that from eddie, but. that’s where i think his compulsions are largely mental. it’s definitely not the stereotypical repeated hand washing or showering; instead, he’s scanning thoughts, replaying past situations, trying to dissect the meaning behind his thoughts and emotions (these also apply to other anxieties he has). i think if he has any physical compulsions linked to the idea of contamination, it’s like, checking his body for signs of disease.

[taco-bellamy]

Another tag game!

Answer these then tag 10 followers you'd like to know better!

Tagged by @dxrkartifices

1. Have you ever been in love? IRL? no. With characters? Yes.

2. Who is your favorite artist? Imagine Dragons

3. What is your favorite musical genre? Alt rock

4. Have you ever had a pen pal? Nope.

5. Are you in a relationship? No and I'm thirsty

6. What color are your eyes? Green

7. What is your favorite word? Fuck

8. Do you play any instruments? Nope

9. What is your favorite color? Blue

10. Do you have any nicknames? Kate, katya, Tater/ tater tot, pookie, etc.

11. What is your favorite flower? I...have no idea

12. What qualities do you find attractive in a person? Their smile and eyes

13. Do you have any pets? No

14. Have you ever traveled outside of your country? Yep! Went to the UK last summer!

15. What language do you speak? English

16. Who was your first crush? Sokka from atla. Real life person: This kid named Caleb I was friends with in elementary & middle school

17. Do you wear glasses? I have glasses, but I mainly wear contacts

18. What is your favorite pastry? Anything with lemon

19. Do you prefer swimming in the pool or the ocean? I've never been swimming in the ocean, but I feel like I'd enjoy that more than pools

20. Bright, dark, or pastel colors? Yes

21. What is your favorite social app? This hellsite and facebook (I know, I know)

22. What is your sexuality? Bi, bitch

23. Do you have any siblings? Yep. One older sister

24. What is your favorite scent? Vanilla-cinnamon ❤

25. Where do you want to travel to? Greece, Iceland, and India

26. What is your favorite film? *Tina Belcher groan* idk. There are lots I love.

27. Who do people say you look like? No one famous. Once in highschool I was in the passenger seat in the drive threw at an Arby's and the dude at the window said, "hi, Ashley!" So, I guess there's that.

28. Who is your best friend? My bitch Crissy!! We went to high school together and she lived with my parents and I during our senior year. I love her so much

29. What is your dream job? Being an entrepreneur/ owning my own cafe that's 100% gluten free (not bc I want to be trendy, but for people like my sister who have Celiac's disease and other gluten intolerances as well as the peeps who just don't eat gluten)

30. Do you know how to drive? Yep

31. Who is/ was your favorite teacher? My 9th grade science teacher. She was so chill and awesome

32. Are you a feminist? Obvs

33. What is your zodiac sign? Aries

34. Do you enjoy reading? Yep!

35. Do you have any talents? Isolating myslef I can turn my elbows forward like the models in the catalogs, but much farther forward so my arms are parallel to each other.

36. Have you ever dyed your hair? Ohh yes. I've had bright pink underneath, blue underneath, blonde-ish ombre, and red.

37. What is your favorite thing in your room? My bed

38. What is your biggest fear? Never finding love.

39. Can you whistle? Yes

40. Do you make your bed every day? Not every day, just on the days I wake up severely swaddled after my sleeping self decides to become a damn burrito 😂

41. Do you have any tattoos or piercings? Just three earlobe piercings which all closed years ago I do have a few tattoos in mind that I want, but...no money.

42. Have you ever been on a rollercoaster? Yeah. Not a junkie, though

43. Surfing or skateboarding? Neither, for the safety of myself and those around me. I'm as coordinated as an electrocuted gumby.

44. Are you a dog or cat person? Kinda both? I've only ever had dogs, but I want a cat some day

45. What is your favorite animal? Penguins

46. Do you have a skincare routine? Uhh.... I wash my face in the shower, and occasionally do face masks, but I don't have a routine.

47. What time do you typically go to bed and wake up? Too damn late, and too damn early

48. What is your favorite memory? Being on the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland. It was fucking euphoric.

49. How tall are you? 5'7"-5'8"? Somewhere in there.

50. What is the best gift you ever recieved? My sister crocheted a giant blanket for me for Christmas 2 or 3 years ago. It's just the right amount of heavy for those cold nights 😍

51. Do you have a garden? Kinda. My parents live in an apartment and my dad built planters that fit over the railing of our porch. We have flowers and butterflyweed in them 😊

52. Do you like bugs? Noope.

53. What is your natural hair color? Brown

54. What is your favorite food and drink? Sea food. Wine.

55. Do you want kids? Yes

56. What is/ was your favorite class? 9th grade science. My teacher was so chill, I loved her.

57. What color shirt are you wearing? Blue

58. If you could time travel, what year would you go to and why? 1587 to stop the execution of Mary, Queen of Scots

59. What is your skin color? Pasty white

60. Hugs or kisses? Depends on the person

61. Have you ever drunk alcohol? Yep

62. Have you ever done drugs? Illegal- no, prescription- yes (responsibly)

63. Netflix or YouTube? YouTube

64. Ice cream or frozen yogurt? Froyo. It makes me feel less guilty even if it's not actually healthier

65. Succulents or flowers? Succulents

tagging: @vintage-bellarke @fictionisalwaysbetter @imnotcrying-ipromise @the-natblidas @yourereallyhere @captainwilldameron @-oh-darling- @sly2o @clarkgriffon @bellofthesky

[bitchronan]

Shit Slytherins Say

Nottgrass, Dransy

Non-magical, college, texting AU

For my wife @daphnegreengrass

ao3

Pansy to fuck bitches get money: What in the name of merlin did I do last night

Astoria to fuck bitches get money: Honey what didn’t u do

Pansy to fuck bitches get money: Someone pls enlighten me, all my shoes r in the shoer

Pansy to fuck bitches get money: *shower

Pansy to fuck bitches get money: I need to wash my hair but

Pansy to fuck bitches get money: I cannot move them

Daphne to fuck bitches get money: lmaoo u pushed draco into the pond

Daphne to fuck bitches get money: Hes super pissed at u

Pansy to fuck bitches get money: Whoops lmao is that why I facetimed him at 5am

Pansy to fuck bitches get money: Lil bitch didn’t answer

Millie to fuck bitches get money: He texted me at 7 that he found a small fish in his ear

Millie to fuck bitches get money: I’m p sure he was lying

Millie to fuck bitches get money: But the point stands that he is very mad at u

Pansy to fuck bitches get money: Pls it’s just a pond it’s not like I killed his mum

Millie to fuck bitches get money: He told me to tell u that his Gucci shoes r ruined and ur buying him new ones

Pansy to fuck bitches get money: lmao as if I am

Pansy to fuck bitches get money: Has anyone heard from tracey ???

Pansy to fuck bitches get money: Is she even alive

Astoria to fuck bitches get money: She texted me like an hour ago ‘imf atill durnk’

Pansy to fuck bitches get money: Oh that’s good

*

Pansy to dragon boi: Heard u fell in the pond

Draco to satans accomplice: Fuck u

Pansy to dragon boi: Rude

Draco to satans accomplice: U fuckin pushed me in

Pansy to dragon boi: You have absolutely no proof I did

Draco to satans accomplice: Blaise filmed it

Pansy to dragon boi: Smug bastard

*

Pansy to tall dark and ?? handsome: omg send me the video of draco falling in the pond

Blaise to short and vindictive: Y’know.. I heard he was pushed

Pansy to tall dark and ?? handsome: Pushed? Idk her

Blaise to short and vindictive: Video Attachment

Pansy to tall dark and ?? handsome: Have my children

*

Draco to satans accomplice: You owe me new shoes

Pansy to dragon boi: Draco there r people that are dying

Draco to satans accomplice: Don’t quote the kardashians ar me u shoe ruining hussy

*

Theo to fuck flops: I would just like to state

Theo to fuck flops: That anything I may or may not have said alst night is inadmissible in a court of law

Tracey to fuck flops: Wat??

Daphne to fuck flops: She lives!!

Blaise to fuck flops: Would u happen to be

Blaise to fuck flops: Referring to that thing that u said to me

Blaise to fuck flops: About

*

Theo to blaine: Shut ur whore mouth

*

Blaise to fuck flops: Cantaloupes?

Draco to fuck flops: Cantaloupes???

Theo to fuck flops: Yeah cantaloupes

Daphne to fuck flops: I thought u hate melon??

Theo to fuck flops: I lied. Melon is my lifeblood

Pansy to to fuck flops: Wtf

Daphne to fuck flops: Traitor

Pansy to fuck flops: In This House we Hate Melon

Tracey to fuck flops: I like melon

Pansy removed Tracey from the group

Theo to fuck flops: Savagery

Pansy to fuck flops: Watch out ur nect

Pansy to fuck flops: Cantaloupe whote

Blaise to fuck flops: Whote

Pansy to fuck flops: Watch ur tone

Astoria added Tracey to the group

Tracey to fuck flops: Melon is the grossest

Pansy named the group kill the cantaloupes

Theo to greenAss: Are you coming to class today?

Astoria to Nott Cool: As if I would miss it

Theo to greenAss: You didn’t come last week

Theo to greenAss: Or the week before

Daphne to Nott Cool: Special circumstances

Theo to greenAss: You went shopping

Daphne to Nott Cool: It was important

Daphne to Nott Cool: I needed shoes

Theo to greenAss: You have a whole closet of shoes?

Daphne to Nott Cool: Nott physically but emotionally

Theo to greenAss: Oh of course, I get you now

Theo to greenAss: So ur coming??

Daphne to Nott Cool: Ya On my way!

Theo to greenAss: Okay nerd chill out

Daphne to Nott Cool: Autocorrect ffs

*

Theo to blaine: Help she’s coming to class today

Blaise to TheHo: Bro chill tf out you two are friends

Blaise to TheHo: You literally have this class together every week

Theo to blaine: Yeah, but we haven’t been alone together since the other week

Blaise to TheHo: It’s nott like she knows

Theo to blaine: Doesn’t she? ? Aren’t girls psychic or something

Blaise to TheHo: You’re beyond help

Theo to blaine: Fuck you.

Blaise to TheHo: How would Daphne feel?

*

Astoria to pansie: So you know how

Astoria to pansie: Draco has a crazy embarrassing crush on you

Astoria to pansie: And you’re like

Astoria to pansie: Completely obsessed w him but u think ur lowkey?

Astoria to pansie: That’s like how Theo n Daph are

Astoria to pansie: Ya feel?

*

Daphne to Nott Cool: I don’t get it

Theo to greenAss: I’m literally right next to you..

Daphne to Nott Cool: God forbid we talk in class

Theo to greenAss: We are talking

Daphne to Nott Cool: We’re texting

Theo to greenAss: Okay smartass

Daphne to Nott Cool: That’s me

Theo to greenAss: Oh, guess you don’t need me to explain what she’s talking about then?

Daphne to Nott Cool: No wait!! Come back !!!

Theo to greenAss: Still right next to you

Daphne to Nott Cool: :)

*

Pansy to daphne 2.0: what The fuck.?

Astoria to pansie: You didn’t know Theo and Daphne liked each other??

Astoria to pansie: Are you blind?

Pansy to daphne 2.0: I wish, at least then I wouldn’t have to read ur stupid ass messages

Pansy to daphne 2.0: I would agree w ur insight if it weren’t completely flawed in the fact that Draco does not have a crush on me

Astoria to pansie: Didn’t deny yours on him :)

Pansy to daphne 2.0: Come back when you have a brain and we’ll discuss this further

Astoria to pansie: This being..? You and Draco or Daph and Thee?

Pansy to daphne 2.0: I’ve hired hit men. They’re on their way

Pansy to daphne 2.0: I wish I could say it was nice knowing you

Draco to satans accomplice: We still on for tonight?

Pansy to dragon boi: Oh I can’t tonight, I have an essay due. Raincheck?

Draco to satans accomplice: Since when did you actually turn in work?

Pansy to dragon boi: Haha, sorry! It’s like half my grade!

*

Draco to blaze🔥: Look what pansy just said to me

Draco to blaze🔥: Image Attachment

Draco to blaze🔥: She’s being weird right? I’m not imagining it

Blaise to DracHoe: Oooh boy, punctuation and everything!! What did you do?

Draco to blaze🔥: Nothing!! She just started being rlly strange w me

Draco to blaze🔥: Since when did she take a raincheck on downton???

*

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Daph

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Daph

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Daph

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Daph

Daphne to pants: Pans wtf I’m just trying to mind my own business

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Ur little sister

Pansy to astoria 2.0: I s2g she’s fucking w me on purpose

Pansy to astoria 2.0: I just had the most awkward convo w Draco

Daphne to pants: Did he confess his feelings for you?

Daphne to pants: I woulda thought he’d at least do it in person

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Daph fuck off

Pansy to astoria 2.0: I swear this is a conspiracy

Pansy to astoria 2.0: I’m seriously

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Tori told me Draco likes me which is obv a lie but now idk what to say to him???

Daphne to pants: Pans idk if you’re blind, stubborn or just actually idiotic but that boy has been head over heels for you since we were in 9th grade

Pansy to astoria 2.0: What?

Daphne to pants: Girl

Daphne to pants: You’re beyond help

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Says you

Daphne to pants: ???

Pansy to astoria 2.0: I’ll get my act together when you and theo do

Daphne to pants: What about me and Theo?

Pansy to astoria 2.0: You Know

Draco to kill the cantaloupes: Guys we haven’t all hung out in a week

Draco to kill the cantaloupes: I’m starting to forget what you all look like

Draco to kill the cantaloupes: Blaise you’re white right??

Pansy to kill the cantaloupes: Some of us are studying

Pansy to kill the cantaloupes: Finals are soon

Draco to kill the cantaloupes: Who?? You wouldn’t know studying if it gave you a lap dance

Pansy to kill the cantaloupes: 🙄🙄

Daphne to kill the cantaloupes: Draco’s right tho

Daphne to kill the cantaloupes: I miss u all

Theo to kill the cantaloupes: Aw we miss you too Daph

Blaise to kill the cantaloupes: 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Millie to kill the cantaloupes: ????

Astoria to kill the cantaloupes: I want burgers

Tracey to kill the cantaloupes: plural?

Astoria to kill the cantaloupes: Did I fucking stutter?

Draco to satans accomplice: Pans wtf is going on?

Draco to satans accomplice: Are you mad at me?

Pansy to dragon boi: No, why?

Draco to satans accomplice: We haven’t spoken outside the group chat in over a week and you pretty much ignored me at dinner the other day

Pansy to dragon boi: No I didn’t

Draco to satans accomplice: You did! What’s going on??

Pansy to dragon boi: Nothing

Draco to satans accomplice: I’m coming to your room

Pansy to dragon boi: I’m not in

Draco to satans accomplice: You posted on your sc story 3 minutes ago

Pansy to dragon boi: Stalker

Daphne to pants: Are you and Draco holding hands under the table??

Pansy to astoria 2.0: No

Daphne to pants: You moved your hand to text me..

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Maybe

Daphne to pants: B I T C H !!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Nothing

Daphne to pants: Fucking. Spill

Pansy to astoria 2.0: He called me out for bein awkward af w him

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Bc I didn’t know what to do when I found out he liked me

Daphne to pants: I recall. Vividly.

Pansy to astoria 2.0: And he came to my room and was like ‘whats going on?? Why are you being so weird?’

Pansy to astoria 2.0: N I like skirted around it but eventually I was like Tori told me you like me and idk what to do??

Pansy to astoria 2.0: And he got kinda?? Angry?? Like not angry but he was like ‘why is that such a big deal??’

Pansy to astoria 2.0: And I was like….. It’s not?? I just? Didn’t know if it was true

Pansy to astoria 2.0: And then he was like, I’ve been in love w you since we were 13

Daphne to pants: Aw!!! Aw !!! Awwwwww !!!!!

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Lmao don’t tell anyone he’d kill me for #Exposing him

Daphne to pants: No he wouldn’t, he looooves you

Pansy to astoria 2.0: And I was like …….

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Then he was like ‘Okay.’ Really slowly and started to leave

Pansy to astoria 2.0: And I was like ‘wait! I guess.. I love you too’

Daphne to pants: ‘I guess’ im FUCKINF 😂😂

Pansy to astoria 2.0: 😊😊😊

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Honestly though

Pansy to astoria 2.0: I swear im stunted emotionally

Pansy to astoria 2.0: But it worked out

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Hence the hand holding under the table

Daphne to pants: !!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so happy for you !!

Pansy to astoria 2.0: I kept up my half of the deal

Daphne to pants: Huh???

Pansy to astoria 2.0: I said I’d sort myself out if you and Theo did

Daphne to pants: That’s different

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Name 12 of their songs

Daphne to pants: 🙄🙄

*

Pansy to dragon boi❤️: I told Daph

Draco to satans accomplice💘: I know I literally read the entire conversation over your shoulder

Pansy to dragon boi❤️: Stalker

Draco to satans accomplice💘: You love it

Pansy to dragon boi❤️: You love me

Draco to satans accomplice💘: Shut up

Pansy to dragon boi❤️: ❤️

Daphne to pants: Consider the deal kept

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Daphne what the fuck

Pansy to astoria 2.0: Where are you?? I lost you at like midnight?? Smh.. white girls

Daphne to pants: I’m .. a t theos

Pansy to astoria 2.0: WHAT

Daphne to pants: In his bed……..

Pansy to astoria 2.0: WHAT X2

Pansy to astoria 2.0: THAT WASN’T EXACTLY WHAT I MEANT

Daphne to pants: :) shit happens

Pansy to astoria 2.0: I’m so done w u

Daphne to pants: U told me to

Pansy to astoria 2.0: 🙄🙄🙄