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the-poets-are-screaming · 2 months ago

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you're a good writer and I love your adrian x reader snippet for you, I apologize,

I'm not a writer nor do I know proper eng grammar

(After taka and sumi betray adrian, reader is there to help him, they are angry at him for trusting taka and sumi even after being warned of how they could be dangerous. Reader is mean and frustrated and irrational)

Tw: fight, yelling, crying, mild description of blood, jealousy

"you could have died! Your loneliness made you blind to their intentions, and you didnt listen to me once!" you pointed your fingers at him, with your brows furrowed, your shivered, limbs rigid like a bow ready to shoot.

"Every day, seing them scurry around the castle, and you seemed too happy to ignore the glances they gave eachother, the way they were all too happy to enter the armory, all because of the false promise of connection and love" your breathing was erratic and you were almost crushing the salve you were applying in his wounds between your fingers.

Adrian seemed... scared and mortified, like a child being chastised, his eyes were brimming with tears. He didn't mean to... it looked like he wanted to say something, to speak. Maybe even to beg for you to not be so upset with him and you knew it, your words seeped like venom into him, the adrenaline coursing your body and the stickiness of the two guest's blood dripping from your skin.

"And I told you so... I told you! And you didn't listen... and the worst part? You want to know what's the worst part?" A reflection of his fear flashed on your face, your eyes foggy with tears as the real reason of why you were upset crashed on you, you finished applying the salve, which you let fall carelessly onto the floor.

Adrian tried to reach you, to grab your hand but he was shaking too much, his body was weary and stinging and your words stuck onto him. Whimpers and sobs left his body he said three wobbling words "Please...I just..." the rest of his phrase died in his throat.

You grab his shoulder and bring him closer "the worst part is that I tried to keep you company, and as much as you were happy to spend your days training and eating with them, you were just as happy to ignore me, it's like you never cared for my company. You needed those two wretched, lying vampire hunters to full your heart... why? Why ask me to stay in the castle in the first place if you didn't see me as someone you'd want as company..." you wanted to fall to your knees as time seemed to slow, the high of adrenaline leading to a crash of exhaustion. Adrian too, his beautiful face was sullen and tears fell from his eyes unrestrained

Two people sobbing could be heard in alucards room, the moonlight reflected in the glass shards of the broken window lit their tears like stars falling into the crumpled bedsheets.

"...you know... Trevor and sypha might be traveling on their own,but I'm still here... I want to be here and not be like a ghost, adrian"

Your head fell on his shoulder when you pulled him into a weak hug, where neither of you had enough strength to do anything more

"...let me be here for you... please" you mumbled

(IM NOT GOOD AT WRITING AT ALL BUT I TRIED CUZ I LOVE HIM AND I WANTED TO TRY TO DO ANGSTY STUFF, I HOPEFULLY DIDNT MAKE YOU CRINGE. THIS IS A SMALL SNIPPET OF A BIGGER IDEA AAA)

Your writing astonished me darling, i absolutely love it!! Allow me add some bits on my part, will that be alright?

“I’ve got my eye on you.”

——————————————————————————

After the tragic night, you doted on him like royalty, he averted to touch after such event but yours, you held no malice to your touch but he know long ago your touch never held ill intentions, nor did you.

Though, he didn’t have enough energy to even bother making food for himself, but he wanted to make food for you, hopefully as an apology but you digressed, you focused on him, you note to him that you could take care of yourself and you had long forgiven him, he was vulnerable, lonely, in which it lead to such a tragedy.

Your hands held his gently, always caressing him when he needed, assisting on healing those nasty silver wounds etched by the greedy bastards, your mind was filled with fury towards the two, yet your hands remained tender, with love. Whenever he cried, he felt guilty for ever shunning you, but thank whatever deity out there that you have a heart, you held and vowed with no hatred to his weeping soul.

——————————————————————————

It was a day after hunting, the tragedy happened atleast a week or two, ago, you were trying to bring his energy back up, in which it was working cause, of course, alucard hated it when he felt weak the whole time, if belmont was there, he would’ve taunted him for it.

…

“I can feed myself you know..” he murmured, a hint of playfulness in his tone, or sarcasm. nonetheless, it brung you relief.

“Shush.” You probed the spoon into his mouth, his lips parted allowing the spoon access to his mouth, he loved the stew you made for him, rabbit stew, it motivates him to hunt more just to get a hold of that..

You slowly reached out to gently tuck a strand of his hair to his ear, his eyes met yours, gods.. he has such long lashes, you were almost jealous.

Your gaze softened as you met his vulnerability, you placed the spoon down before slowly pulling him into a hug, despite being aware of your gesture always remaining of no ill intentions, you still made sure to slow your gestures, giving him any time to move away, and he recognized that, and he never felt safer.

His cheek rested onto your clavicle, his safe haven is always near your face, perhaps your body, the body he felt comfortable attaching himself to, the body that healed his own.

You rest your cheek atop his head, pressing a gentle kiss around his temple, you reached up to massage his tension-filled scalp, your thumbs rubbing circles onto his temple, a soft sigh spilled from his lips.

He looked younger with his eyes closed, the tensions fading off his face, your heart shattered at that mere sight, a sight that nasty people find an advantage in rather than caretaking.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, hoping the tears rimming your e/c eyes don’t stream down your cheeks as he drifted to a short nap.

Oh sweet angel..

You vowed to hold him, even if he sleeps for centuries, you remain in the same position, if it means to keep him in a peaceful state.

When there are visitors, perhaps with ill intentions, you’re aware he could defend himself, but now, you hold far more hostility than hospitality, and you vow to yourself (and possibly him) that if you catch any scar on him, the one that had scarred him will leave without a head.

——————————————————————————

#seems like alucard is the one with a protective bulldog now (/j…./hj…/srs.)#i still love rereading this ask #very lovely writing #castlevania #adrian tepes #alucard castlevania #alucard tepes #alucard tepes x reader #adrian tepes x reader #alucard x reader #castlevania alucard #yes yes indeed oh yes alucard is strong but can we please have a reader that treats him like a pretty princess and they’re the knight???#he is a pretty princess after all #alucard attempting to conversate with villagers while you lurk in the back like a protective demon

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taradactyls · 21 days ago

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So I could be totally wrong but, I believe it was sort of expected that men/gentlemen lose their virginity before marriage in regency times. But I also there’s some fandom ‘debate’ about whether or not Mr Darcy would’ve had sex before getting married. So I was just curious about what your canon for Mr Darcy in T3W is. Is he a virgin or not?

I knew someone would ask me this eventually, haha. I've actually had really long conversations with my beta reader about this trying to figure it out. It sounds like this might all be stuff that you’ve already seen discussed in the fandom, but I’ve never thought about it deeply before and so these are new thoughts to me.

I keep going over the historical real-world likelihood, the authorial intent, and the text itself but I’m still not 100%. I’ll explain my thinking and what I find most likely, but here’s your warning that it’s not a clear cut yes/no.

Because on one hand, at that time period it was most common for men in his position to have seen sex workers or have casual encounters/mistresses with women from their estates. Though I do absolutely believe not all men did that, no matter how much wealth and power they had. To go back some centuries, William the Conqueror seemed to be famously celibate (no hints of male lovers either according to the biography I read) until his marriage, and there's no evidence of affairs after it either. The best guesses as to why are that it was due to his religious devotion and the problems that had arisen from himself being a bastard and not wanting to recreate that situation. Concerns over religion and illegitimate children would certainly still have been applicable in the regency to men who thought that way. And in modern times I've seen sex workers say that when an 18/21yo is booked in by his family/friends to 'become a man' often they end up just talking and agree to lie about the encounter. After all, it’s not like every man wants casual sex, even if they aren’t demisexual or something in that vein. But, statistically speaking, the precedent of regency gentlemen would make Darcy not a virgin.

On the other hand, just how aware was Jane Austen, the very religious daughter of a country rector, of the commonness of this? There’s a huge difference between knowing affairs and sex workers existed (and no one who had seen a Georgian newspaper could be blind to this) and realising that the majority of wealthy men saw sex workers at some point even if they condemned the more public and profligate affairs. The literature for young ladies at the time paints extramarital sex - including the lust of men outside of marriage - as pretty universally bad and dangerous. This message is seen from 'Pamela' and other gothic fiction to non-fiction conduct books which Jane Austen would have encountered. Here's something I found in 'Letters to a Young Lady' by the reverend John Bennett which I found particularly interesting as it's in direct conversation with other opinions of the era:

"A reformed rake makes the best husband." Does he? It would be very extraordinary, if he should. Besides, are you very certain, that you have power to reform him? It is a matter, that requires some deliberation. This reformation, if it is to be accomplished, must take place before marriage. Then if ever, is the period of your power. But how will you be assured that he is reformed? If he appears so, is he not insidiously concealing his vices, to gain your affections? And when he knows, they are secured, may he not, gradually, throw off the mask, and be dissipated, as before? Profligacy of this kind is seldom eradicated. It resembles some cutaneous disorders, which appear to be healed, and yet are, continually, making themselves visible by fresh eruptions. A man, who has carried on a criminal intercourse with immoral women is not to be trusted, His opinion of all females is an insult to their delicacy. His attachment is to sex alone, under particular modifications.

The definition of a rake is more than a man who has seen a sex worker once, it's about appearance and general conduct too, but again, would that distinction be made to young ladies? Because they seem to simply be continuously taught 'lust when unmarried is bad and beware men who you know engage in extramarital sex.' As a side note, Jane Austen certainly knew at least something about the mechanics of sex: her letters and literature she read alludes to it, and she grew up around farm animals in the countryside which is an education in itself.

We can also see from this exert that the school of thought seems to be 'reformed rake' vs 'never a rake' in contention for the title of best husband, there's no debate over whether a current rake is unsuitable for a young lady. And, from Willoughby to Wickham to Crawford, I think we have a very clear idea of Jane Austen's ideas of how likely it is notably promiscuous men can reform. This does not preclude the possibility that her disparaging commentary around their lust is based more on over-indulgence or the class of women they seduce, but it's undoubtedly a condemnation of such men directly in line with the first part of what John Bennett says so it's no stretch to believe she saw merit in the follow-on conclusions of the second part as well. Whether she would view it with enough merit to consider celibacy the only respectable option for unmarried men is a bit unclearer.

I did consider that perhaps Jane Austen consciously treated this as a grey area where she couldn’t possibly know what young men did (the same reasoning is why we never see the men in the dining room after the ladies retire, etc) and so didn't hold an opinion on men's extramarital encounters with sex workers/lower-class women at all, but I think there actually are enough hints in her works that this isn’t the case. Though, unsurprisingly, given the delicacy of the subject, there’s no direct mention of sex workers or gentlemen having casual lovers from among the lower-classes in her texts.

That also prevents us from definitively knowing whether she thought extramarital sex was so common, and as unremarkable, as most gentlemen treated it. But we do see from her commentary around the consequences of Maria Bertram and Henry Crawford's elopement that she had criticism of the double standards men and women were held to when violating sexual virtue. Another indication that she perhaps expected good men to be capable of waiting until marriage in the way that she very clearly believed women should. At the very least, a man who often indulges in extramarital sex does not seem to be one who would be considered highly by Jane Austen.

She makes a point of saying, in regards to not liking his wife, that Mr Bennet “was not of a disposition to seek comfort for the disappointment which his own imprudence had brought on, in any of those pleasures which too often console the unfortunate for their folly or their vice.” This must include affairs, though cheating on a wife cannot be a 1:1 equivalent of single young men sleeping around before marriage. However, the latter is generally critically accepted to be one of the flaws that Darcy lays at Wickham’s door along with gambling when talking about their youth and his “vicious propensities" and "want of principle." Though this could be argued that it’s more the extent or publicity of it (but remembering that it couldn't be anything uncommon enough that it couldn't be hidden from Darcy Sr. or explained away) rather than the act itself, or maybe seductions instead of paying women offering those services. I also believe Persuasion mentioning Sunday travelling as proof of thoughtless/immoral activity supports the idea that Jane Austen might have been religious enough that she would never create a hero who had extramarital sex.

So, taken all together this would make Darcy potentially a virgin, or, since I couldn't find absolute evidence of her opinions, leave enough room that he isn’t but extramarital sex isn’t a regular (or perhaps recent) thing and he would never have had anything so established as a mistress.

I’ve also been wondering, if Darcy isn’t a virgin, who would he have slept with? I’ve been musing on arguments for and against each option for weeks at this point. No romantasy has ever made me think about a fictional man's sexual habits so much as the question of Darcy's sexual history. What is my life.

Sex workers are an obvious answer, and the visits wouldn’t have raised any eyebrows. Discretion was part of their job, it was a clean transaction with no further responsibilities towards them, and effective (and reusable, ew) condoms existed at this time so there was little risk of children and no ability to exactly determine the paternity even if there was an accident. It was a fairly ‘responsible’ choice if one wanted no strings attached. In opposition to this, syphilis was rampant at the time, and had been known to spread sexually for centuries. Sex workers were at greater risk of it than anyone else and so the more sensible and risk-averse someone is (and I think Mr Darcy would be careful) the less likely they would be to visit sex workers. Contracting something that was known as potentially deadly and capable of making a future wife infertile if it spread to her could make any intelligent and cautious man think twice.

Servants and tenants of the estate are another simple and common answer. Less risk of stds, it can be based on actual attraction more than money (though money might still change hands), and is a bit more intimate. But Wickham’s called wicked for something very similar, when he dallies (whether he only got to serious flirting, kissing, or sleeping with them I don’t think we can conclusively say) with the common women of Meryton: “his intrigues, all honoured with the title of seduction, had been extended into every tradesman's family.” And it isn't as though Wickham had any personal duty towards those people beyond the claims of basic dignity. Darcy, who is shown to have such respect and understanding for his responsibilities towards the people of his estate and duties of a landlord, would keenly feel if any of his actions were leading his servants/tenants astray and down immoral paths. Servants, especially, were considered directly under the protection of the family whose house they worked in. I think it's undoubtable that Mrs Reynolds (whose was responsible for the wellbeing - both physically and spiritually - of the female servants) would not think so well of Mr Darcy if he had experimented with maids in his youth. It would reflect badly on her if a family entrusted their daughter to her care and she 'lost her virtue' under her watch. Daughters/widows of others living on the estate not under the roof of Pemberley House are a little more likely, but still, if he did have an affair with any of them I can only think it possible when he was much younger and did not feel his duties quite so strongly. Of course lots of real men didn't care about any of this, but Darcy is so far from being depicted as careless about his duties that the narrative makes a point of how exceptional his quality of care was. Frankly, it's undeniable that none of Jane Austen's heroes were flippant about their responsibilities towards those under their protection. I cannot serious entertain an interpretation that makes Darcy not, at his current age, at least, cognizant of the contemporary problems inherent in sleeping with servants or others on his estate.

A servant in a friend’s house would remove some of that personal responsibility, but transfer it to instead be leading his friend’s servants astray and in a manner which he is less able to know about if a child did result. That latter remains a problem even if we move the setting to his college, so not particularly likely for his character as we know it… though it wouldn’t be unusual for someone to be more unthinking and reckless in their teenage years than they are at twenty-eight so I don’t think having sex then can be ruled out. Kissing I can much more easily believe, especially when at Oxford or Cambridge, but every scenario of sleeping with a lower-class woman has some compelling arguments against it especially the closer we get to the time of the novel.

Men did of course also have affairs with women of ranks similar to their own, though given Jane Austen’s well-known feelings towards men who ‘ruined’ the virtue of young ladies we can safely say that Darcy never slept with an unwed middle- or upper-class woman. Any decent man would have married them out of duty if it got so far; but if he was the sort to let it get so far, I think it impossible Jane Austen would consider him respectable. Widows are a possibility, but again, the respectable thing to do would be to marry them. Perhaps a poorer merchant’s widow would be low enough that marriage is off the table but high enough that the ‘leading astray’ aspect loses its master-servant responsibilities (though the male-female ‘protect the gentler sex’ aspect remains) but his social circle didn’t facilitate meeting many ladies like that. Plus, an affair with a woman in society would remove many layers of privacy and anonymity that sex-workers and lower-class lovers provided by simply being unremarkable to the world at large. It carries a far greater risk of scandal and a heavier sense of immorality in the terms of respecting a woman’s purity which classism prevented from applying so heavily to lower-class women.

I think it’s important to note here that something that removes the need to think about duties of landlords towards the lower-classes or gentlemen towards gentlewomen is having affairs with other men of a similar rank. But, aside from the risk of scandal and what could be called the irresponsibility of engaging in illegal acts, it’s almost certain that Jane Austen would never have supported this. For a devout author in this era the way I’m calculating likelihoods makes it not even a possibility. But if you want to write a different fanfiction (and perhaps something like a break-up could explain why Darcy doesn’t seem to have any closer friend than someone whom he must have only met two or so years ago despite being in society for years before that) it does have that advantage over affairs with women of equal- and lower-classes. I support alternate interpretations entirely – it just isn’t how I’m deciding things in this instance.

I keep coming back to the conclusion that, at the very least, Darcy hasn’t had sex recently and it was never a common occurrence. It wouldn’t surprise me if Jane Austen felt he hadn’t done it ever. Kissing, as we can see from all the parlour games at the time, wasn’t viewed as harshly, so I think he’s likely made out with someone before. But in almost every situation it does seem that the responsible and religious thing to do (which Jane Austen values so highly) is for it to never have progressed to sex. I also don’t think it conflicts with his canon characterisation to say that he wouldn’t regard sexual experience as a crucial element of his life thus far, and his personality isn’t driven to pursue pleasure for himself, so it’s entirely possible that he would never go out of his way to seek it. So, I’m inclined to think that the authorial and textual evidence is in favour of Darcy being a virgin even if the real-world contemporary standard is the opposite. (Though both leave enough room for exceptions that I’m not going to argue with anyone who feels differently; and even if you agree with all my points, you might simply weight authorial intent/textual evidence/contemporary likelihoods differently than I do and come to a different conclusion).

Remember that even if Darcy is a virgin this wouldn’t necessarily equate to lack of knowledge, only experience. There were plenty of books and artwork focused on sex, and Darcy, studious man that he is, would no doubt pay attention to what knowledge his friends/male relatives shared. Though some of it (Looking especially at you, 'Fanny Hill, Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure') should NEVER be an example of appropriate practice for taking a woman's virginity. Darcy would almost certainly have been taught directly or learnt through exposure to other men talking to make sex good for a woman – it was a commonly held misconception (since Elizabethan England, I believe) that women had to orgasm to conceive. It would be in his interests as an empathetic husband, and head of a family, to know how to please his wife.

Basically, I’m convinced Darcy isn’t very experienced, if at all, and will be learning with Elizabeth. But he does have a lot of theoretical knowledge which he’s paid careful attention to and is eager to apply.

#sorry for how my writing jumps around from quoting sources to vaguely asserting things from the books I only write proper essays when forced #if anyone has evidence that Austen thought a sexually experienced husband was better/men needed sex/it's a crucial education for men/etc #PLEASE send it my way I'm so curious about this topic now #this is by no means an 'I trawled through every piece of evidence' post just stuff I know from studying the era and Austen and her work #so more info/evidence is always appreciated #I had sort of assumed the answer was 'not a virgin' when I first considered this months ago btw but the more I thought about it #the less I was able to find out when/where/who he would've slept with without running into some authorial/textual complication #so suddenly 'maybe a virgin' becomes increasingly likely #But the same logic would surely apply to ALL Austen's heroes... and Knightley is 38 which feels unrealistic #(though Emma doesn't have as much commentary on sex and was written when Austen was older so maybe she wasn't so idealistic about men then)#but authors do write unrealistic elements and it's entirely possible that *this* was something Austen thought a perfect guy would(n't) do #and if you've read my finances breakdowns you know I follow the text and authorial voice over real-world logic because it IS still fiction #no matter how deftly Austen set it in the real world and made realistic characters #pride and prejudice #jane austen #fitzwilliam darcy #mr darcy #discourse #austen opinions #mine #asks #fic:t3w #I'm going to need a tag for 'beneath the surface' but 'bts' is already a pretty popular abbreviation haha #just 'fic: beneath' maybe?? idk

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