#like no one is asking you to like any other versions

[fierceawakening]

There is ALSO the thing where when people are unhappy with an incumbent they vote for the opponent.

This is very likely a factor in what happened here as well. It’s stupid because Trump is not a normal candidate, but it’s how things usually work, so it’s not especially surprising.

Personally (and my opinion is worth as much as anyone’s which is very little) I think we should’ve been more sparing with “fascist” and freer with “weird.”

The problem with words like “fascist” is they’re so intense that people defend themselves against hearing what you meant by telling themselves it’s hyperbole.

It’s a common thing that happens when people are taken in by sociopathic con men (this post is NOT me saying anyone with a particular diagnosis is destined to be a con man, it’s talking about a pattern in people who are both things. How often they go together is a topic for a different post and if you want that discussion I’ll have it but not here.)

Such people have a tendency to tell whoppers. Big lies, not just little ones. “The election was stolen and we all know it” rather than “I heard about some funny business in Burpass County, maybe we should recount there?”

When a very obvious lie is told with confidence, people tend to tell themselves “no one would make that up. There must be something to it I don’t see.”

I know this is a thing because it happened to me.

I had an online friend who claimed to be intersex and to have and need constant expensive medical care related to menstrual bleeding that wasn’t fully exiting hir body.

The few details ze gave did not match anything I knew about any specific intersex condition, and I’ve heard of several of the common ones and know how they tend to work, so I should’ve thought “that sounds odd. I should ask hir what the diagnosis is.”

Instead, I thought “I don’t know everything about intersex conditions. It’s far more likely that there’s a condition I haven’t heard of that does this particular thing than that my friend is pretending to be intersex. That’s a super weird thing to pretend.”

It came out later that these supposedly elaborate expensive doctor visits were just zem driving off for a few hours and returning with tall tales.

Worse, it came out that there were many other lies, “I paid the rent” being one of them.

“Vote for me! I’m trying a radical new strategy to make things better for you because I come from a non political background” is much more comforting than “Vote for me! I have no idea what I’m doing, I want to oppress and harm you for my own gain, and I don’t care how many of you die.”

I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t lived through my own smaller version of it and experienced just how much of a heel you feel like when you knew better but didn’t say anything because no one would do THAT.

If your democrat friends start muttering about stolen election conspiracy theories, the time to have a sit down with them and express your concerns is NOW, while you still have a chance to reach them, not 6 months from now when they're fully conspiracy-pilled.

Here's some of the talking points and why they're bullshit:

'10 million votes don't just disappear!' -> Joe Biden's 81 million votes were a statistical outlier, sparked by the recent experience of the Trump presidency. The democrats failed to maintain that sense of urgency, but Harris still got more votes than Hillary Clinton, more than Obama and more than any previous democratic candidate. These numbers are not weird at all.

'The Republicans tried to infiltrate election- and vote counting organizations!' -> yeah, they did, and yet hundreds of independent legal observers didn't see anything go wrong enough to raise any alarms. Independent exit polls are also very consistently similar to the counted votes. Tons of international organizations specialized in this stuff observed the election and didn't see a reason to raise the alarm.

'But I know a dozen democrats whose mail-in votes were not counted!' -> In any election a certain number of votes are registered as invalid because something was wrong with the ballot. In a country the size of the US, that translates to many thousands of votes. The internet allows these people to find each other, creating the false impression that a suspiciously large group of voted was not valid.

'Musk used Star Link to mess with electronic voting!' -> Electronic voting machines are not connected to the internet and dozens of independent media have already debunked this myth. It is absolutely impossible to use Star Link to fake election results.

'There is voter disenfranchisement!' -> This is true. This has always been true, for every election. It's an issue worth talking about but it's not a special secret conspiracy that's unique to this election.

But just as importantly as the facts: sit down with your friend and talk about the anxiety that's behind their conspiracy leanings. Acknowledge their pain and fear. Help them find ways to feel less powerless and regain their sense of agency. Take them to a mutual aid event, involve them in a fundraising event for a marginalized group, invite them to a local community effort. If they spend more time feeling connection and empowerment and less time doom scrolling online, they're far more likely to stay in reality.

[pseudophan]

PHANNIE COOKBOOK SIGN-UPS!!

Do you have a really good recipe you think Dan and Phil would enjoy? Consider submitting it to this collaborative phannie cookbook that will be given to DnP at a meet & greet! It will also be available to everyone to download as a PDF.

Family recipes or your favourite dish from your country/culture is a bonus, but it doesn’t have to be that personal. All I ask is that you don’t go rip something random off the Internet right now just to be in the book, I want food you genuinely enjoy!

I’ve decided the most efficient way of doing this is to let you submit up to 3 different options, that way if there are any repeats (and I’m certain there will be) I won’t have to message everyone it concerns to ask if you have any alternatives. Besides, that way I can choose which version gets in based on your other options rather than which one “sounds better” to me, cause I think that would be a little unfair. I also have no idea how many people will actually participate in this yet, which is currently the biggest hurdle in terms of planning. If only a few sign up there is a chance we’ll end up using multiple recipes by some, and if somehow we get too many I’ll have to pick and choose. I do really want to include as many people as possible, but until I actually see the recipes it’s hard to tell what will end up happening.

The main focus of this will be actual food, but we obviously need to include a few desserts, so feel free to submit those as well just be aware the chances of those getting picked might be lower. The same goes for soups, I assume a lot of people have soup recipes and we might include a couple, but for obvious reasons it's a low priority.

Some key things to keep in mind:

Phil is a bit picky and has some dietary restrictions! He shouldn’t have dairy or chocolate and he doesn’t like cheese or mushrooms, among other things. That doesn’t mean you have to avoid these things entirely, but maybe your grandma’s mac and cheese recipe isn’t the best choice

While neither of them is vegan they do eat a lot of vegan food, so we definitely need some vegan dishes. I also think it would be really great if you suggested vegetarian and/or vegan substitutions you know work well with your recipe! That isn’t a must for every dish, but it’s a nice addition where possible

Tragically, Dan and Phil are British, meaning they won’t necessarily have access to all the same ingredients as you. Luckily they are also rich and live in a major city with a lot of options so they aren’t limited to what they can find at their local Tesco, but since the aim of this book is to encourage them to cook we probably shouldn’t be sending them on a scavenger hunt either. I don’t think this will be a huge issue, but if your recipe calls for something you think might be very niche or local to you it might be worth googling it or asking around

The final book will be using UK measurements, but if your recipe doesn’t then don’t even worry about it for now. We’ll get to that later. You also don’t have to worry about typing out the whole step-by-step in detail in the sign-up form, I just need a list of the ingredients and roughly how to prepare it to gauge whether it’s a good fit.

I promise I’m almost done yapping but lastly, about some of the questions on the form - you don’t need to know exactly how long the dish takes to prepare, that will depend on the person or people making it anyway, but we do need a rough estimate. The difficulty level is obviously quite subjective, but I just want to hear how you personally would rank it, and if there is a specific part of the process you think someone who doesn’t cook a lot might struggle with. As for the last question about photos, I’m asking both if you have the time and opportunity to make the food and if you are able to take a good photo of it. Obviously it doesn’t have to be anything professional, a phone camera is fine, it just needs to be well lit and decent quality.

Okay, I think that’s everything-

Here's the sign-up form

The deadline is in a week, at midnight Thursday to Friday CET :)

(I also made a blog for this @phookbook for information and updates! A lot of it will probably still be on this blog, but I'll try to post/reblog the most important things on there for those who want to keep up with everything but who may not want to deal with all the chaos of pseudophan)

[jaal-ama-daravv]

With Emmrich's romance which version do u prefer lich or not? And why?

Oh this is a hard one for me, I am very torn on which path I prefer.

Thank you so much for asking!

Allow me to explain why I am torn -

Lich Path

This path holds a place in my heart. On one hand, Emmrich has achieived his dreams of lichdom and averted his fear of death. We love an ambitious king who remains irrevocably in love. But he has not faced his fear, he averted it. Emmrich's fear of death most likely stems from his parents and with being apart of the Watchers since he was a child - similar to Rook Ingellvar. If Emmrich takes up lichdom, his fear of death does not dissapear, it transfers to Rook.

Whilst both mortal and lich Emmrich fear Rook's death quite heavily, when Emmrich is a lich, this fear is based around Rook's death and Emmrichs inevitable grief that will follow for eternity. I am of the mind where I believe that Emmrich would 'go rogue' if Rook were to pass on. Purely because of the type of love they share, Emmrich's past, and that he would not be able to cope with the loss of the flame of his heart. The most magnificant thing to ever happen to him.

In saying that, when Emmrich takes up lichdom, Rook states that Emmrich has everything he needs to tackle Lichdom. (i.e., you can accept the death of others, including Rook). Incredibly wrong, so incredibly wrong as seen throughout the rest of the romance following. A) His argument with Rook about death and living without them for eternity (man would go rogue due to who he is as a person), B) He is found by Davrin crying in his room, alone, after the death of Manfred. C) Throughout the banter in the game, Emmrich avoids and/or is cold to the topic of Manfred's death. Dismissing and avoiding any claim that he misses him.

Emmrich is not equipped to take up lichdom because he feels so deeply, and loves so deeply. So fucking deeply. He borderlines being an empath with OCPD if you wanna get literal. His obsessions and compulsions being death, affection, and magic.

Whilst I believe that both paths embody the soulmate trope, I adore this path because it transcends reality and they would, Emmrich would, find Rook in each world. Through any means neccessary. Yes - Emmrich is about rules and order, and is gentle and kind, but this man (now lich lord) is a powerful mage. A very powerful mage who can speak to the dead. There are hints throughout his romance that he would go unhinged should his weakness (Rook) be exploited (aka, dead). Read about and see more below -

See cinematic here, and dissection of the romance here.

Mortal Path

View Cinematic

dissection of mortal romance path scene

I am yet to dissect the mortal argument & romance scene, however they will be coming shortly, but for now I will expand my thoughts here. You can find the intial romance dissection here .

Mortal Emmrich path is incredibly wholesome and fullfilling. Emmrich gives up his dream for his love for Manfred. Whilst this is heartwarming to others, it does not tick my boxes personally. I wouldve preferred Emmrich consideration of mortality to be a mixture of Rook and Manfred. In saying that though, Emmrich's lichdom path has a significant amount of more romance-esque dialogue. Particularly in the romance and lichdom decision scenes. So it's an odd choice for the developers, or an oversight. I think I am turned off by it a tad because there is minimal fear towards Rook's death. Whereas Lich Emmrich is devastatingly scared. Idk, I'm in two minds.

I really do love the mortal path as I believe it adds more depth to Emmrich, it adds a layer of resilence instead of avoidance. Thinking of the romance scenes, the mortal scene is about love and wanting eachother, whereas the lich path is about desire and acceptance. Both are remarkable. God this is hard.

Emmrich's fear of death does extend to Rook during the argument scene and this is evident throughout the rest of the game and romance. Stating that he is afraid he will die and be a burden to Rook. These romance argument scenes are flipped in retrospect - In the mortal scene, Emmrich fears his own death will hurt Rook, and is terrified of that because he loves her so much. In the lich scene, Emmrich is terrified of Rook's death and the pain it will cause him because he loves her so much. My one grivenance with this scene is that Emmrich can say, "At your age?" in a condescending tone which I think it very out of character. But aso backs up my point that he has a fire to him.

However, the mortal romance has a significant amount of benefit to it. A) Emmrich somewhat learns to deal with his mortality, B) He has Manfred, C) They can spend their post-game days enjoying their life together, instead of the fear that will forever creep on Lich Emmrich.

I implore you to also remeber that it is evident that mortal path Emmrich believes that he is 'too old' to enjoy this type of love. He never thought it would come to fruition. This is evident by the banter, dialogue, and flirt options throughout the game. "its gratifying a fresh faced adventurer noticed me at all" and more. Hence his fear and feelings of burden towards Rook being evident in the argument scene.

Additionally, Emmrich grew up poor. This would impact his view on society and love. But more impactfully, it would impact his view on himself. His self-worth. Emmrich likely thinks he doesnt deserve this type of love. Hence the attempt to push Rook away and act over-suave at times. I'll break this down more later.

Give The Eternal Flame a read.

At the end of the day, Rook was right. Things would be easier to deal with if Manfred were around.

Verdict

I really, really, really love both and Im really torn between them because they are both fantastic and have individual meaning whilst remaining true to the concept that Emmrich and MW Rook are made for eachother. Soulmates. It honestly pains me to say, but at this point in time - I think at the end of the day, as much as I love the Lich romance, and the more content it posesses. Like, love love love the lich romance. Unless there was a canon way in the future for Rook to join him in Lichdom, I prefer the mortal romance path.

This is due to 3 reasons -

A) Whilst the romance content in game is better for his Lich romance and appeals more to my favourute tropes, becoming a lich lord is not something Emmrich is equipped for. He would need a romanced Rook to join him to be 'fine', if that. Inevitably, Lichdom is his way to avert his fears, not face them.

B) Mages can live for an incredibly long time. Especially ones that are entwined with the Fade. Even more so ones that can speak to the dead. I think there is some meaning for that we will uncover in future game adaptions.

C) Emmrich states that he is happier with Rook and Manfred and would not give it up for anything. Whilst both romance scenes are incredibly powerful and romantic, the mortal romance scene is a masterpiece with facial expressions and tension. You can feel the love. Whilst you can feel the love in the Lich romance scene, it is centered around acceptance. See below.

At the end of the day it comes back to the question of what would Emmrich's parents want for him? The question that confirms his romance. They would want him to be happy, with someone who cares for him. That person being Rook. Emmrich would be happy for the rest of his life. Emmrich has yearned for this love his entire life. Lich Emmrich would be happy, for a time. Then descend into madness, leaving him unhappy and distraught.

[peppermintquartz]

If you're still taking prompts, I want someone unexpected to yell (or gently berate, whatever) some sense into Tommy. Like Eddie is the obvious person, but what about, like, Hen? Actually, I was going to suggest others, but now I kinda want to read Hen's version, especially in light of that "intentions" conversation...

"You're a dick. I get why you did what you did, but you're a dick."

Tommy glances up from the magazine he's holding. The dental clinic's mostly empty, and the receptionist only spares them a glance. "Hey, Hen. Wasn't expecting to see you." He takes in her loose stance and relaxes slightly. "You look good."

"You look like shit. Bet you feel like it too." Hen sits down next to him. The silence is weighted. "I know where you're coming from, though. When one really bad experience makes you afraid to trust." She sighs. "With Eva... Well. I got Denny out of it."

Tommy can't pretend to look at his magazine any longer. "How is he?"

"Pretending he's fine. The way you are." She pats his shoulder. "And who knows? Maybe one day you both would be fine for real. But do you really want Buck to be the one you regret, Tommy?"

That question spears right through all of Tommy's shields. He swallows, his jaw twitching.

"Tommy."

"Yeah?"

"I remember you said that you were going at his pace. But it's your relationship too. If he was going too fast, you had every right to tell him to slow down." Hen drums her fingers on her knee. "Be honest with him. That's what's fair to you both. Figure out what you both want, okay? But don't let your fear keep you from what could be real happiness."

As if giving him an example, she tilts her phone screen at him - Karen, Denny, Mara and Hen, big smiles on their faces.

"Say hi to Karen and the kids for me," Tommy says. He smiles up at her. "Thanks. And, uh, sorry. About Buck."

Hen snorts. "If you're not doing major dental work later, you can buy me lunch after this. And then, you text him and you ask to talk."

The receptionist calls out, "Mr Kinard? Dr Bay will see you now."

"I'll wait," Hen says, taking the magazine from his hands.

[tloaak]

@endless-demon thank you so much for asking! it's a little complicated but I think simplification does a disservice to the issue and is exactly what people like David Seymour rely on to spread lies about historical context and current consequences. I'm putting this in a reblog because it's long, and I'm putting it on this post because I'd rather this video be the one to get seen. as always I'm pakeha and also not an expert, so I'm very open to corrections on details but im confident of the broad strokes.

so when the English first arrived to build settlements in aotearoa, they formed a treaty with Māori (te Tiriti o Waitangi), the people already living there, that the English can govern their own settlements, as long as they allowed for continued māori sovereignty (tino rangatiratanga). there exist two versions of the text, English and te reo Māori, which do not perfectly match. after this, the English settlers began acquiring massive swathes of land by legally questionable means, and asserting absolute sovereignty over these areas. these culminated in the land wars, which then lead to massive land confiscation as a form of both political punishment and colonization. the end result is that now the crown own nearly all land in aotearoa and claim absolute sovereignty over it.

now, the Māori text does not claim sovereignty over the property that the crown recognizes Māori own. the text promises, among other things, self determination for Māori, which is essentially impossible under a westminster system of government because they are currently a demographic minority. it's only very recent in our history that the crown has acknowledged the legitimacy of the te reo Māori text, and even more recently that we began to actually implement any of its principles. one of the biggest ways the treaty is used in modern day is to guarantee Māori have an opportunity at the table for major national decisions (particular those of environmental significance), and to defer organizational power for Māori issues to Māori communities.

the treaty principles bill seeks to water down these promises by allowing these rights to all new zealanders, "democratising" the treaty and removing those guarantees that have been so hard fought for by Māori. but, more importantly, it seeks to seed division and racism within this country to gather more support for the ACT party who are sponsoring this bill.

this bill was part of the coalition agreement by our current 3 party right wing government. the national party agreed to sponsor this bill to first reading (allowing public submission on the bill) but no further. I personally believe, along with many others, that when the time comes to vote for the second reading the act party will threaten to pull out of the coalition if the bill is not passed again, and our prime minister will not have the strength of character to stand up to his deputy. regardless, the relationship between the crown and Māori has already been damaged, both by the simple introduction of the bill as well as all the changes our current government has implemented.

as Paul Goldsmith, Minister for Treaty Negotiations outlined in his speech during the bill, the National party believe that te Tiriti must be killed, not in a single action, but by a thousand cuts, like the removal of references to the treaty from our legislation and curriculums, and the disestablishment of agencies like the Māori Health Authority, cuts to Māori advisors to govt departments, removing māori seats from local government, etc.

there's so much more to this issue, like the centuries of abuse and mistreatment of Māori by the crown authorities, how this abuse is ongoing to Māori children and adults today in state care, how iwi voices are our last line of defence against environmental and ecological damage by industry, the unilateral natural of the treaty reparation settlement process... but this is why this protest was staged in parliament today.

(in fact, there is a much larger protest taking place nationwide, scheduled to arrive the day the bill was supposed to be introduced. the bill was in fact introduced a week earlier, in a move many suspect was done to prevent exactly this kind of protest.)

as far as I'm concerned though? I think te pāti Māori achieved exactly what they wanted by this protest. they forced the government to drop the mask of civility, and force the protestors out of the building. and they showed their supporters that their protests are working - they felt threatened enough by this that they lashed out, felt a need to retaliate by suspending hana-rawhiti maipi-clarke from the house for 24 hours. the coalition are getting nervous

much better footage of the haka that shut down parliament today

[spacecasehobbit]

After seeing yet another popular tumblr post with thousands of reblogs bemoaning the state of comments on fanfics these days - more specifically, the supposed lack of commenting these days, as opposed to The Good Old Days - I have decided that this is in fact a hill I am willing to die on. I'm making a separate post about it rather than reblogging the latest iteration, though. This is hardly the first time I've seen these types of discussions, and my issue is with the mindset in general, not any of the specific people who hold it.

In the most recent version, the entire post with all its various arguments and assertions was plenty frustrating across the board, but it included one line in particular that cut beautifully to the heart of my issue with this type of discussion. The line in question:

"fanfic authors now are treated like content mills, and not like valued members of a creative community who thrive on interaction."

Once I read this bit, I had to stop, take a few deep breaths, and then go make my own post before I imploded over the sheer level of NOPE this line inspired. And okay. The thing is... I want to say this as gently and kindly as I possibly can, but I need to be real blunt for a minute, too.

That line I quoted sounds like a wannabe social media influencer.

It sounds like a person who thinks fandom is - or should be - comprised of fanfiction writers, aka Valued Content Creators, and their respective communities of readers, aka Content Consumers, a strictly distinct group from fic writers, for whom they create fanfiction content and who in turn pay them back with attention and validation in the form of comments and praise.

It does not sound like a fanfiction author who enjoys the creative hobby of writing stories based on characters and worlds from existing stories, engaging in their hobby within a community of other likeminded creators of fan content.

Frankly, fandom has always been worst when it starts obsessing over Big Name Fans who wind up treated like elite fandom social influencers, instead of hobbyists engaging in a fun hobby together based on mutual interests. A shift towards the idea that every fanfic writer should be effectively a social media influencer whose community consists of fans reading the content they oh-so-lovingly create (but only if they get enough positive attention from passive consumers, presumably readers who don't write their own fic or expect comments back from the author in return) sounds like an absolutely awful direction for fandom to take.

I don't want fanfiction and fandom spaces to turn into another social media space full of Our Valued Content Creators, all fighting to build the largest "community" of passive consumers turned devoted followers.

Again, that sounds frankly fucking awful.

The people who only read fanfiction are not your fanfiction community, because they are not engaging in the shared community hobby of writing fanfiction. Your fanfiction community is, perhaps, the other people who are also writing their own fanfiction based on someone else's original work.

So perhaps if comments really are declining on fics these days, instead of asking why passive readers aren't heaping praise on every fic they read and making sure it all happens where the Valued Creator can hear it, you should ask yourself how many other fanfics you've commented on recently, and then go comment on another one if you're still feeling down about your own work.

Or, I dunno, find a fic author you admire and send them a message on tumblr, if you've already commented on all of their fics that you read and enjoyed.

Or start your own discord for likeminded fans, or find a way to set up your own fandom forums centered on your personal fandom interests and invite other fic authors to come join.

Or, like, anything that involves reaching out to the actual community of hobbyists you can reasonably consider to be a community you are actually a part of.

Aka, other fanfiction writers.

[magickpancakes]

Finished the ref for Technologickal_Flapjacks :3

extra info on her below

she / her the "Evil Version" of MagickPancakes. Some weird protogen-cat-naga creature. Same person as MP, in the sense that her sexuality and opinions remain largely the same, however has a snappier and more sarcastic personality

Face, belly diamond, and inner ears are screens. and can display images. those images are not limited to the black and green color palette usually displayed, however she tends to stick to those colors (could play Bad Apple, good luck gettin her to do that tho)

All of the bright green markings all over her body glow, her neck and tail stripes being the least bright and her "core" and face being the most bright

ears are purely decorative, she mainly hears through her antenna, and through a mic placed under her chin (like, the underside of her snoot, yknow?)

the "core" on her chest is also decorative, with the backwall of it being LED lights, its covered by a green piece of glass with a cat sticker stuck on the inside of it, there is also a loose wire hanging near the top of the "core"

Doesnt like and will not wear any type of clothing, however, will tolerate stickers and some hair accesories. only temporaraly tho, mainly because she "doesnt want to look like some stupid kid's toy" and would "rather look professional and sleek, just how i was designed"

constantly checks her appearance for that reason

tail spike/sword/whatchamacallit is solid and sharp, like a knife (sharpens and maintains it often)

Hair is synthetic, and connects to the ears, kinda like a hood of sorts yknow? like, if ya took off the hair, ya would end up uncovering her ear mechanics and the back of the screens

obnoxious, loud, and rude. will take your stuff without asking, leave empty containers instead of replacing them, but is annoyingly passive-aggresive about you doing your share of chores (this is only if you happen to be living with her or smth, which is unlikely)

resting bitch-face, and tbh, just bitch by default

wont pay attention in conversations (unless its important), will like, check her nails, check herself in a mirror, fix her hair, all while going "uh huh.... thats crazy..." 5000 times

acts very aloof and snobby, even around people she'd consider "acquaintances". will make fun of you if she notices smth.

has standards to her belittling however, will not make fun of: race, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, pronouns, loss of loved ones, weight, appearance, disabilities, boundaries, etc. (shes an asshole, but shes not gonna make u feel terrible about shit ya cant control (at least not a lot)

will still mock ya for this but it wont be as fierce: interests, skills/skill level, crushes/love interests.. shit people close to u might comment on

hates physical touch, will not touch you, definitely wont let you touch her (mainly due to her wanting to remain clean and presentable, however, as noticeable she dont like other beings all that much)

this is probably gonna get added to or smth, or ya may find more snipits of info in future art, but ima be here for 3 hours if i dont stop now lol

[mer-acle]

i know i should not ask this but, what are your Athena ig wump headcannons :3 dont worry i have alot of time on my hands

okay okay okay

I think I'm gonna make this mainly trauma/whump potential themed. Like think, how do you break the owl? lol

Pain: I don't see Athena as scared of pain in general. She wouldn't mind being nicked in battle or something (she would bc of pride and being told she has to be perfect, but not the pain) I am willing to bet she's cut herself out of curiosity of what it feels like. Now if there's pain on top of other stuff, that's when she starts to fall apart. She's not used to dealing with physical pain, and if she's otherwise compromised (read: God Games) it becomes a problem.

Breathing: That's more of a general god hc I decided for whump purposes. The gods do have a breathing reflex and while they don't die from lack of oxygen + don't have negative effects if they actively choose not to breathe (like underwater), but like... yes gods can hyperventilate... or have trouble breathing... do with that what you will (like i do, I reaaaallly do stuff with this factoid)

Water: It's a winged!Athena specific one for me, but could be applied to any version. Athena's not a fan of water in general and afraid of being fully submerged in particular. She got somewhat used to it after a while living with Triton, but since Pallas' death, it's gotten worse and she hasn't really been in the water since. (This all came to be bc I found out that owls are actually terrible swimmers bc their wings aren't waterproof so they just have to get to shore to dry off... and wings weighed down by water sounds pretty scary

Control: Kinda vague, but shapes my entire approach to her. Athena is all about control. Anything that messes with that is BAD. Fever? An injury that you can't just push your way past? Drugs, medical or otherwise? She would literally rather be in excruciating pain. Like... if she's mentally not well, having shaky hands or dropping something might already be cause for a negative spiral it's that bad. Speaking of...

Mental health (Pt. 1) (to be continued) Ah I posted accidentally okay wait I'll make a part 2 and link it 😖

[jiraivampdoll]

jirai to me...? this won't be for everyone. some of these might seem too surrealist to be about anything but I promise they very much are deeper than just "trippy dreamscape". if you love abstraction (like me) you'll probably know these movies. if you don't enjoy the bizzare, I've included some here that are straightforward. cw for gore, suicide, abuse, rape and exploitation. much love fellow landmines, take care of yourself please. though i personally loooove watching movies that hurt me because it's how i feel alive

TAG (Real Onigokko or Riaru Onigokko) 2015 is a subtle movie about rape, sexual exploitation, lack of access to abortion and suicide. these are themes and not overt depictions, but it is VERY graphic (gore)

it had to be subtle because it is taboo to talk about. it is a wild adaptation of a book (Riaru Onigokko) and is hardly related to the book and therefore the other film adaptations of the book as it's interested in exploring a different thesis and was targeted at the sort of men who enjoyed the original novel & movie adaptions. it's sort of surrealist and therefore confusing, but it is definitely talking about very important shit.

Perfect Blue (Pâfekuto Burû) this movie created Black Swan. Black Swan is a Westernization of Perfect Blue. I have SO MUCH to say about this movie, PB is one of my top 3 fav of all time, but I refuse to clog this post up with too much babbling. cw for rape depicted. this movie is about dealing with trauma via dissociation, not a choice (as it isn't) but as a mechanism for surviving horrific events.

Paprika (Papurika) 2006. if you can't handle Perfect Blue, please do not watch Paprika. it's PB on hardmode. Paprika is about the psychiatric institution and it's politics, as well as trauma (dissociation) repressed memories and the ideal self vs the actual self. if you like SEL (Serial Experiments Lain) you may enjoy Paprika. it is very abstract (like PB) but still very on the nose.

Pearl. This movie wouldn't exist without Perfect Blue, but it is a whole separate beast. It's SO good. this is about dealing with an abusive mother, with allusions to an incestuous father. as someone with both & as a result, many mental health conditions, Pearl feels like a VERY BPD & maladaptive daydreaming disorder character. some argue that she's not, it's all interpersonal/interpretation, so if she isn't to you, that's cool.

Black Swan. the Perfect Blue adaptation you've seen everywhere on tumblr, and likely even seen. it's a tamer version of PB and less surrealist, but still dealing with the same topics and even some new ones (sexploitation in ballet, repressed homosexuality) as a former ballet dancer, I really love this movie. it speaks to me.

Hard Candy. this movie is everything to me, but a bit too much for most. cw for pedophilia, child sexually exploitive material, sexual abuse of children and suicide. this is a revenge film. as a victim of CSEM and childhood sexual exploitation and abuse, I love this movie. it's so fucking satisfying.

please feel free to send me asks or DMs about movies, I'm a huge movie watcher as I love analyzing the themes in art. to date I've seen thousands of movies. international, Hollywood blockbuster, indie, horror to slice of life, I love movies and I collect them as a hobby. if you want a more thorough dissection of these or any other movies I recommend, drop by and chat because I have so many movie recs that aren't really jirai but are adjacent!

jirai media recommendations (feel free 2 suggest more)

some r still ongoing btw

-Young Adult Matters

movie (2021)

tw: sh, substance abuse, bullying, violence, gore, prostitution, death, sa, homelessness, sexual content, abuse, profanity, unwanted pregnancy (prob more im forgetting)

-Tomorrow I’m gonna be someone’s girlfriend

manga (2019-2024) and tv show (2022-2023)

tw: sh, profanity, sexual content, violence, substance abuse (again prob more im forgetting)

-Kairiki Bear

musician

song suggestions: darling dance, bug, failure girl, villain

-Isana

musician

song suggestions: Menhera Janai Mon!, Loved Smoothie

-Sensitive Boy

manga (2022-2024)

tw: sexual themes, sa, sh, violence (prob more i still need 2 read it ngl)

-Sentimental Death Loop

video game (2023)

tw: death, partial nudity, sexual themes, profanity, sh, suicide, violence, gore,

-Needy Streamer Overload

game (2022)

tw: sh, sexual themes, violence, substance abuse, blood, profanity, death, cults, vomiting (prob more that im forgetting)

-Strawberry Painkiller

musician

song suggestions: Bloodsucking Dreams, Grave Skull, Thousand Knives, Sugar Truth, Pharmakeia

-Candye Syrup

musician

song suggestions: idol of death, sweet suicide, C♡S.I.S

-Hookah Haze

game (2024)

tw: death, terminal illness, stalking, substance abuse (its just hookah im pretty sure but still gonna include the warning lmao)

-Magical Girl Site

anime (2018) and manga (2014-2019)

tw: bullying, violence, suicide, abuse, blood (prob more i havent finished it)

feel free 2 suggest more! out of all of these i suggest young adult matters, kairiki bear, nso, and strawberry painkiller the most!

[utopiastri]

hiiii!

soooo i read and reread all your f1 fics.

since they are all so effing amazing, well written, funny when needed, you must have a great taste in fics. sooo do you maybe, perhaps have any landoscar fic recommendations??

have a mega day!

-💫

hi 💫 anon!!! this was. the absolute loveliest ask to wake up to this morning so thank you SO much for sending it 💕💕💕💕💕

you are so kind and please know all of these compliments have absolutely made my day!!!!!

and GOD i would LOVE to give some landoscar fic recommendations, there is nothing i love more than talking about authors i adore

i very much started rambling about these fics so i'm putting my recs below the cut!

ok immediately we're off to a rogue start because i'm going to recommend a fic that isn't posted yet but @1425fivefive's upcoming fic Learned Behavior is just honestly going to be one of the best things you will ever read - i have been honoured to receive SO many wonderful snippets from it and every single one is just as amazing as the others and i am SO excited to see the full thing

i am legally and contractually obligated to put three-sixteenths by @ipleadbritney on here because i am actually three-sixteenths' biggest fan and as part of that it is in fact my job to make sure everyone has read one of the most DELIGHTFUL magical realism fics of all time, one that fills me with such joy every time i think about it, let alone read it

by love remembered by @lellabellas is just. i LOVE fairytales so much and the way this is such a gorgeous homage to fairytales whilst also being one of the most wonderful fanfics you will ever read is honestly just. a sign of talent of truly the highest degree!!!!

brevity is the soul of wit by a_new_anon because i absolutely have to recommend one of the absolute CUTEST texting fics i have ever read. i grinned my entire way through reading it and i cannot recommend highly enough oh my GOD

the devil in me by @its-all-papaya because who am i as a person if i'm not constantly Obsessed with the idea of jealous oscar piastri. GOD this fic has everything - including one of my favourite final lines of any fic like. ever

AND on top of all of these, because i am a firm believer in showing love and affection to tumblr drabbles as well, please have a few of my favourites of those as well:

I'll Wait (I'm Sorry) by @wanderingblindly because liquid reblogged this again recently and this version of landoscar has NOT LEFT MY BRAIN SINCE!!! i reread it and had to sit down lest i faint. concept of all time i fear!!!!!!!

fireworks - prompt by @foggieststars because every so often i think about what landoscar will be like when they're no longer teammates and then i remember it doesn't matter because i can just think about one of the Sweetest drabbles i have ever read about lando and oscar dealing with oscar leaving and i am calm again

immortal - osctober prompt by @nyoomfruits because sad immortal vampire oscar has actually been haunting me for the last month and i am still SO SAD ABOUT IT (but like. in a good way obviously)

ok i will cut myself off there but !!!!! anon thank you so much for allowing me to ramble on about all this writing i love so much!!!! and thank you again for the kind words 💕💕💕

also if anyone would like to not be tagged, please let me know!!!

[killallxys2]

The EasyPeasy Way to Quit Make-up

Chapter 1

Introduction

This open-source guide will help you stop relying on makeup immediately, effortlessly, and permanently—without willpower or any sense of loss or sacrifice. It won’t place any judgment, embarrassment, or pressure on you to make drastic changes.

In fact, there’s no need to reduce or "cut back" on your makeup use while reading; attempting to do so prematurely can actually be counterproductive.

You might be hesitant at the mere thought of quitting makeup or be one of the countless individuals who have tried but struggled. If that’s the case, some of what you’re reading may seem counter to everything you’ve been told—but if what you’ve been told had worked, you wouldn’t need this guide.

Ask yourself if any of the following resonates with you:

Do you spend more time applying and perfecting your makeup than you originally intended?

Have you struggled to stop or reduce your use of makeup despite efforts to do so?

Has your reliance on makeup interfered with or taken priority over personal or professional activities, hobbies, or relationships?

Do you go out of your way to keep your natural appearance hidden (e.g., avoiding photos without makeup, feeling anxious without it)?

Has using makeup caused significant issues in your personal relationships, such as impacting your self-confidence or sense of authenticity?

Do you find yourself in a cycle of excitement and enjoyment while applying makeup, only to feel less satisfied or even disappointed afterward?

Do you spend a lot of time thinking about makeup, even when you’re not wearing it?

Has using makeup had other negative consequences in your personal or professional life (e.g., feeling uncomfortable without it, taking extra time each day, feeling financial pressure from makeup purchases)?

If you find yourself depending on makeup to feel confident or attractive for any reason, all you need to do is keep reading. If you’re here for a loved one who relies on makeup to feel complete, all you need to do is encourage them to explore this book. If they’re hesitant, you can read it yourself. Understanding this approach will help you communicate with them effectively and guide loved ones, such as children, toward self-acceptance before they rely on makeup.

About the Book

This book is inspired by Allen Carr’s EasyWay method, adapted for those who want to quit makeup. It’s open-source, licensed under CC-BY-SA, and it’s free. The approach here is structured to work best if you:

DO NOT JUMP CHAPTERS

Think of this journey like a combination lock, requiring the steps to be followed in sequence. Breaking free from reliance on makeup is no different.

Personally, the original version of this method completely changed my perspective. If you’re like most, you probably began using makeup at a young age and have been using it regularly ever since. Maybe you’ve experienced occasional confidence in going bare-faced but find yourself returning to makeup. I’m happy to report that this method works differently; it’s been the only approach that truly led me to embrace my natural self.

Or perhaps a friend recommended this book to you, and you’re skeptical. Thank you for considering it. This will be expanded upon shortly, but for now, think back to the first time you wore makeup—before it became part of your routine.

Did you ever imagine that you’d rely on makeup for the rest of your life? Based on my informal experience (convincing friends to read this book), this guide works equally well for both occasional makeup users and those who rely on it heavily. It’s not very long, but the potential for significant personal growth is high, so I urge you to keep reading.

The approach shared in this guide is:

Immediate—you can start today.

Effective for everyone—whether you're a full-glam enthusiast or prefer minimal makeup.

Free of withdrawal discomfort—you won’t feel “naked” or uncomfortable without makeup.

Requires no intense willpower—it’s about changing perspective, not forcing habits.

No shock treatments or gimmicks—no drastic measures or expensive replacements.

Won’t substitute one habit for another—you won’t feel the need to compensate with other habits or products.

Lasting—this method is designed for a permanent shift in mindset.

1.1 Warning

If you’re expecting this book to “scare” you into quitting makeup by highlighting any potential harm or pointing out that society’s standards of beauty are impossible, you may be disappointed. Those fear-based tactics don’t work effectively, and if they were going to help you, you’d have stopped using makeup already.

Conventional methods for quitting makeup often suggest “weaning off” or “makeup detoxes” like using less makeup over time. Some sources offer scientific insights into self-image and social psychology, which can be useful, but many people already understand the pressures to wear makeup and continue to use it anyway. Simply labeling it as a “bad habit” doesn’t address the real reasons people use makeup. Ultimately, treating it like a “forbidden fruit” doesn’t help to stop reliance on it.

This approach, called EasyPeasy, works differently. Some things discussed here might be challenging to believe at first, but by the time you’ve finished reading, you’ll not only believe them—you’ll wonder how you ever felt pressured into seeing makeup as essential to your identity.

There’s a common misconception that we choose to rely on makeup. Makeup dependency is often no more a conscious choice than any other deeply ingrained habit. It’s true that we choose to buy makeup, apply it in front of a mirror, and step out feeling like we’ve “put on our best face.” But did any of us choose to feel incomplete or “less than” without it? Did we decide that our natural appearance was inadequate?

It started innocently enough—maybe we wore makeup out of curiosity, to have fun with our appearance, or to fit in. But few of us would have started had we known it might lead us to question our self-worth without it, to feel insecure without the “mask,” or to believe that beauty is only skin-deep. How many of us thought, the first time we picked up mascara or lipstick, that we’d end up feeling pressured by beauty standards that undermine our confidence and personal happiness?

Take a moment to reflect: did you ever consciously decide that you must have makeup to feel beautiful or acceptable? That you need foundation, eyeliner, or lipstick to feel confident at work or in social situations? That you couldn’t fully enjoy an evening out or feel as attractive in photos without it? At what stage did makeup shift from a fun, optional part of your life to something you felt you had to rely on?

Like countless others, you’ve been drawn into one of the most subtle yet powerful traps created by societal expectations, compounded by industries profiting off of women’s insecurities. None of us would want our daughters to feel they need makeup to be valued or admired. This reflects a truth that many know deep down: no one needs makeup to thrive, be respected, or be loved.

At the same time, many women feel hesitant to stop. There’s an internal conflict—the feeling that while we don’t want to feel pressured to wear makeup, we also feel uncomfortable going without it. If there were a magic button we could press to wake up tomorrow feeling secure in our natural beauty, few would hesitate to press it. The only thing that truly holds us back from embracing our bare face is fear—a fear instilled by the belief that without makeup, we’ll face insecurity, loss of confidence, or won’t measure up to beauty standards. These fears stem from irrational beliefs, perpetuated by societal and media messaging:

Beauty is essential for self-worth.

Makeup is the only way to look “professional” or “put-together.”

Makeup helps us compete with unrealistic, edited images of beauty.

We need makeup to hide “imperfections.”

More products and routines equate to a “better” appearance.

These beliefs lead to irrational behaviors and self-perceptions:

Feeling inadequate or incomplete without makeup.

Comparing ourselves to airbrushed images and feeling like we “fall short.”

Believing that our worth is linked to our appearance.

Becoming hyper-critical of our natural looks.

Wearing makeup out of habit rather than desire.

It’s fear that drives us to think we won’t feel as comfortable in our skin, that people might perceive us differently, or that we’ll never be as confident without makeup as we are with it. This fear stems from learned beliefs that suggest beauty equals worth, but it doesn’t have to control our lives.

This guide is about freeing ourselves from those expectations and reclaiming our self-worth, beauty, and power on our terms.

But most of all, there’s the fear that “once a makeup user, always a makeup user”—that we’ll never feel fully free, that we’ll spend the rest of our lives needing that makeup crutch for confidence at certain times. If, like me, you’ve tried the conventional ways to feel okay without makeup and endured the struggle of the “willpower method,” you’re probably familiar with that fear and may even believe you can never feel secure going without it.

If you’re feeling apprehensive, anxious, or think now just isn’t the right time to quit, let me assure you: those fears aren’t relieved by makeup—they’re caused by it. No one sets out to become dependent on makeup, but like all traps, it’s designed to keep you feeling insecure without it. Ask yourself, when you first started wearing makeup, did you decide that you’d rely on it for life? So, if not now, when will you stop? Tomorrow? Next year? Stop kidding yourself! This trap is designed to keep you in it for life. Why else do you think countless others don’t break free, even as they begin to realize they’d rather not feel “incomplete” without makeup?

Imagine a magic button that could instantly make you feel as confident without makeup as you do with it—EasyPeasy works just like that magic button. Let me make it clear: EasyPeasy isn’t magic, but for those of us who’ve found it easy and enjoyable to step away from makeup dependency, it certainly feels like it!

Consider this as a “chicken and egg” situation: everyone who wants to quit relying on makeup can actually enjoy doing so. The only thing holding you back is fear. The most significant gain from this process is freedom from that fear. But you won’t experience it until you complete this journey. In fact, your fears may even increase as you continue reading, but don’t let that stop you.

You didn’t decide to fall into this trap, but let’s be clear: you won’t escape it unless you choose to. Whether you’re eager to quit or cautious about the thought, keep in mind: YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE!

If, by the end of this journey, you still choose to use makeup, nothing will stop you from doing so. You don’t even have to cut back while reading this book, and remember—there are no harsh tactics here. Quite the opposite—I have only good news for you! Can you imagine how it would feel to step out, makeup-free, with confidence as radiant as ever? That’s how I felt when I broke free from the makeup trap, and that’s how others who’ve used this method feel too. By the end of this journey, that’s how you’ll feel as well. Go for it!

Finally...

Everyone can find it easy and enjoyable to quit makeup dependency, including you! All you need to do is read the rest of this book with an open mind; the more you understand, the easier it will be. Even if some ideas feel challenging, following these steps will make your transition smooth. Most importantly, you won’t spend life yearning for makeup or feeling deprived, and by the end of this journey, you’ll likely wonder why you felt you needed it for so long.

With EasyPeasy, there are only two reasons for failure.

Failure to carry out instructions. Some may find the book annoyingly insistent on certain recommendations, like avoiding “cutting back” or using substitutes. While some people can quit using makeup with half-measures, they often succeed despite those strategies, not because of them. Like cracking a code, the steps here need to be followed in order for the easiest success: moving one chapter at a time, without skipping.

Failure to understand. Question not only what you’re told here, but also your own beliefs and what society has ingrained in you about beauty, self-worth, and makeup. For example, if you think it’s just a habit, ask yourself why other habits—even ones you actually enjoy—are easy to break, while a habit that costs energy, time, and money is so difficult to stop. If you feel that makeup makes you happier, ask yourself why things that are genuinely enjoyable, like hobbies or favorite activities, don’t make you feel dependent. Why does your self-esteem feel tied to makeup, with insecurity setting in if you go without?

EasyPeasy is about to give you the knowledge of just how easy and enjoyable it is to step away from makeup dependency. Like many others, one of my greatest triumphs in life has been breaking free from the makeup trap. This is not a journey to feel apprehensive about; on the contrary, you’re about to accomplish something that many people yearn for: FREEDOM!

REMEMBER, DO NOT SKIP CHAPTERS.

I’d wish you luck, but as you’ll soon come to learn, you don’t need it.

[revelboo]

First sounders is here! I got the shining version, his visor lights up! Literally the coolest thing I own right now

Look at him! Yours has Lazerbeak, too!

Mass displaced mech 18+ 🌶️

Everything Is Alright Pt 57

IDW Starscream x Reader, Soundwave x Reader

• Staring at you as you hide your face against his servo you’re still clinging to, he’s frozen. You like him? As in a friend or something more? Needing to ask, but afraid of the answer. Months ago he would have scoffed, likely said ‘of course, you do.’ Now? It matters, you matter. “You like Soundwave, too “ he mutters not meaning to say it, but unable to stop himself. Remembering the other’s scent on you and how at ease you are around the communications officer. Your little face gets even redder, hands going white knuckled at how hard you’re holding into his servo. Wants to stop, let it go instead of trying to find a problem. Sabotaging himself like he always does.

• Throat dry in a mix of humiliation that you’re almost sure he didn’t quite understand what you meant and embarrassment because you do like them both and you have no idea how to explain it to him when you can’t even understand it yourself. Wanting them both, falling in love with them both for different reasons. It’s not like you can help it, you didn’t ask for any of this. But he’s just staring at you, disappointed or angry. You’re too afraid to look up and find out.

• Your silence is answer enough and he tips his head back. Remembering Soundwave’s offer to share. Is that why? Doesn’t want to imagine you in Soundwave’s berth, but can’t help it. Jealousy twisting through him as he mass shifts even knowing fully well he doesn’t have the energy reserves to go back later. That he’s going to be stuck and at the mercy of whoever finds him, but needing to touch you. Needing you. You make a startled noise as he catches you to him, burying his face against your throat. “Star, I thought you said you couldn’t,” you murmur words trailing off when he kisses you, servos fisting in your hair. Needing to feel you against him, to prove to you and him both that you’re his.

• There’s nothing gentle about this kiss, his mouth bruising against yours, all heat and demand that you feel yourself respond to. An arm curling around his neck as one of his big hands grips your butt to crush you to him. Denta nip you bottom lip as he rumbles, dragging you down with you him and shifting over you. There’s no hesitation when you spread your thighs for him and he stretches out on top of you. That mouth leaving yours to press kisses and bites against your neck before pulling away. There’s an angry edge in his optics, in the faint trembling of his wings, that mixes unease with anticipation. Then he’s pulling your pants down over your hips, not even bothering with the closure or your shirt. Just reaching to cup you, stroking with his servos until you tremble.

• Servos sliding against you, he frees his spike and shifts between your thighs to bury himself deep in that welcoming heat. Hips rocking as he lets his head drop against your shoulder, enjoying the way you feel under him. Wanting so much more. Has Soundwave had this? Felt your tight heat gripping his spike? Those little noises you’re making as he props himself up and lazily thrusts, have you made them for anyone else? For Soundwave? Your hands find his wings, stroking over them as he ruts against you. Calming himself with the feel of you under him. Sharing? This is his. You’re his.

• Head thrown back, lips parted you lose yourself in the feel of him moving against you, stroking deep inside you. His venting growls, snarls and hitching groans twining with the wet sound of his spike stroking inside you. His mouth brushes your jaw, your mouth, the crook of your neck as you cling to him. Feel his hand gripping your hip as he goes up to sit with his legs folded under him, dragging your hips up, servos tightening as gets rougher, more urgent. Feeling every deep drive of his spike inside you hitting right there at this angle until you’re crying out.

• Wings shuddering as you tighten on him, milking his spike, he manages a handful more thrusts before he’s coming apart and driving deep to fill you. One of his hands hitting the berth near your head as he bows over you, the exertion of mass displacing and then this catching up and dragging at him. Venting raggedly as you curl your arms around his neck, trying to draw him down to you even as he’s trying to not just collapse on top of you. “Star?”

• Something’s wrong, he’s shaking against you, optics glowing dimmer than normal. Head sagging until his helm is pressed against your shoulder and he mutters what you suspect is profanity in Cybertronian before he’s pulling away enough to slump beside you instead of on you. Head turning to stare at you as panic claws up your throat.

• Rumble and Frenzy still haven’t returned from patrol. Servo tapping idly on his desk, Soundwave glances at where Ravage and Lazerbeak are resting. Knowing the two likely know more than they’re letting on. He’s about to wake them and ask when your panic crashes into him, a living thing tearing through his processor. And he’s on his feet, his chair falling back as he strides from his quarters and down the hall. Not running, but focused on that panic realizing it’s not for you. You’re safe, but terrified. Needing him.

• Hands nervously fluttering over him as he raggedly vents, you don’t know what to do or even what’s wrong. He’d said he didn’t have the energy before to mass shift, but he’d done it anyway. Does he just need energon? You have no idea where to get that and can’t even get down from the berth anyway. Hating being so small when all his stuff is so big. “Star, tell me what to do,” you murmur, leaning over him as his optics shutter, open, shutter again at your touch.

• Drifting from energon deprivation, it’s the sound of his door sliding open that rouses him. Tears a snarl from him as he tries to get up, hooking an arm around your waist to drag you behind. Or to try anyway. And then he realizes it’s Soundwave, because of course it is. Baring his denta at the other Decepticon, because like this? He can’t defend himself. Can’t defend you. Can’t stop Soundwave from ending him and just taking you.

Previous

[archive-of-wax]

I don't even know where to start with my love for this post, I've literally been rereading it over and over all day. This is by far the best interpretation of Trudy's parenting I've ever seen. It really captures the complex family dynamic we see onscreen with the twins, both with their mother and each other.

It's easy to focus on Trudy's evident abuse of Bo in the opening scene, but I think this is the first time I've seen anyone really analyse her interaction with Vincent. It's also one of the few times I've seen anyone speculate about his perspective or thoughts regarding his mother and her parenting, and I think you're spot on. Vincent wasn't showered with unconditional love while Bo got constant abuse. He was smothered with overbearing attentiveness that probably caused more issues than it fixed. Helicopter parenting certainly lines up with many traits fans have inferred from Vincent's portrayal, such as perfectionism, overdependence, and an anxious disposition.

I also felt that his perception of their mother wasn't as idolised as Bo's, and would go as far as to say that during his and Bo's kitchen convo I felt a hint of...exhasperation? Even weariness. At Trudy, at Bo's idolised view of her that he seemingly can't reject out loud, maybe even the purpose of their murderplot. I always imagined his feelings towards her to be something like 'I love you but please stop I'm begging you, why are you like this, why can't you be better for us', and I feel like part of that frustration came from knowing that none of the hovering and fussing was ever really for him as much as it was for her to feel better about herself, so any conversation about his feelings on the matter would have been pointless. If not immediately dismissed it would have just caused an argument, and this family has enough of those already, right? No need to rock the boat.

I have also never seen that newspaper clipping about Victor?! Could I ask where you found it? It completely throws loads of backstory theories out the window. Your version makes the lead-up to the murderplot make so much sense too. Bo and Vincent didn't just wake up one day and choose violence for no reason, but rather the pressure slowly built up: their father passing, the mill shutting down and all the jobs disappearing, then the town's inhabitants leaving, and lastly their mother's death. I imagine they found themselves alone in their now dead hometown, feeling washed up, lacking the practical and social skills to set off on their own (Vincent in particular), grieving the most pivotal person in their lives, and fit to burst with rage at the world. With their minds already cracked from their upbringing, and nothing to lose, it's easy to imagine how one thing led to another...Maybe some lost jackass gets a little too cocky with Bo at his mechanic shop, a fight ensues, Bo doesn't quite pull his punches like he knows he should and accidentally kills him. And then all it takes is a 'Yes, I know this is bad, Vince, but listen. You know how you've been having trouble sculpting like mama used to...?'

Anyway yes all this is to say this was a fantastic read! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, hope you don't mind me going on a mad ramble on your post haha. (Also could I ask you to link that study of a similar conjoined case? I've been looking for a real life counterpart to the twins' condition and could not find one for the life of me!)

Trudy refills Vincent’s cereal. He’s 2-3 years old and blind in one eye. He doesn’t need more cereal, he just needs his bowl rotated so he can see the cereal that was left over on his blind side. Not that we necessarily know how Vincent communicates without speech, but she hardly gives him time to answer her question about more before she’s refilling the bowl anyways. This is her approach to parenting her boys in general.

There’s no interest in fixing their actual issues. Rather than help Vincent to see what he already has in front of him, she’d rather add more, inadvertently also adding more onto the side he can’t see. At some point, this would just add to the issue. Overcompensation into overwhelm. Bo is brought in for breakfast kicking and screaming and it’s sort of evident why Trudy puts all her love into Vincent to the point of it being suffocating and unhelpful. Sure it could be a simple case of favoritism, but with the aspect of overcompensation specifically, it seems that she wants to balance her guilt over failing to parent one of her sons by pouring more effort than necessary into Vincent. Rather than giving the extra attention to Bo, it’s refilling a non-empty bowl of cereal.

I don’t think that necessarily mean she loves Vincent more. She finds him easier to parent. Fill the bowl whether or not he needs it because that’s easier than unpacking where Bo’s massive emotional outbursts are coming from. It seems more like love-bombing than genuine kindness. He’s “being such a good boy today,” but the implied part is an unsaid comparison to Bo. As twins, and conjoined twins at that, they’re not independent of each other. Vincent’s behavior exists only to contrast Bo’s, from her perspective. “Fix” his needs, and she can fix them both. Hence, preferring just to duct tape Bo to a chair than help him any.

Then Vincent grows up to become her protege, starting in his childhood but lasting until even after Trudy’s death. Over thirty years have passed since they were toddlers in those high chairs, but Bo gives a hint about why Vince got that ‘special privilege’ to not be as physically abused. “She always said that your talent would make up for what God took away from you.” Only, God didn’t take anything. Victor Sinclair doing illegal, unqualified surgery on his babies is why Vincent lost half of his face. Trudy only uses God’s name and religion as a shield for her own guilt about how her boys turned out. But it’s more likely she included Vincent in the wax business because she again, was dumping affection onto him over and over as her strategy.

Otherwise there isn’t as much favoritism between the boys. In their childhood photos, they both play piano, both play pool and baseball, both get to sit at the table with their birthday cake (without highchairs or bindings) and they play on the floor together. It's not entirely divisive between them, though it’s still obvious from which brother she’s slapping across his face and which brother she’s love-bombing which she’d prefer to deal with. Just not which she actually cares for more. Vincent wasn’t somehow spared from abuse in a house like the Sinclair household.

Interestingly, when Bo tells the story of Trudy and Victor, he mentions that once the Doc died, they were alone. Except, there’s at least one version of a prop newspaper stating that Trudy created a wax memorial for Victor. So this is just a false version of events most likely. Sure it could be that a decision changed, but there’s also the fact that, in the guns and ammo store, there’s a sign that says “Trudy’s Town or Wax.” And Bo tells Vincent, “We almost finished what mama started.” She’s also much older than the Trudy we see in the family photos and articles (even with the amount of cigarettes that woman smoked.) Ambrose is confirmed to have been abandoned for a decade, but to be turned into wax, Trudy would’ve had to die sometime between the abandonment of Ambrose and the present. Else she would’ve been properly buried most likely. The plan to fill Ambrose was hers, it’s just Bo that suggests using real humans (according to his apology to Vincent, he takes credit for the idea anyhow.)

Which makes her boys at least in their mid twenties when she died. In an older version of the script, Bo had killed her and Victor, but knowing it would put them all in foster care, that doesn’t quite make sense unless they were older. So the order of events is, Doc dying, the sugar mill closing, Trudy planning to reimagine Ambrose, and then dying herself.

The reason that’s important is because it’s emblematic of just how much pressure she was putting on both of her boys. And that’s not love. With two mentally ill, abused sons, (maybe three, since Lord only knows how they treated Lester once he came along,) that’s just manipulation. Victor and Trudy aren’t cartoon super villains for being bad to their boys. But when you can’t even just rotate a bowl slightly for your half blind little one, it’s shallow. Trudy has her cigarettes right in the boys faces in the opening and in most of the photos. Smoking was in one study linked to about 1/3rd of conjoined pregnancies, and in a similar case of conjoinment to the boys, one of the twins had lost an eye and had a prosthetic, but with minimal scarring because of the surgery being done in an actual legal hospital. It’s not about God taking anything, or about which is a little monsted and which is a very good boy- it’s about Trudy and Victor both messing up from the very beginning and causing the boys losses, then refusing to take accountability for it. Or, in the symbolic sense, to just do the right thing and turn a damn bowl of cheerios towards your blind kid.

[rhiannonsknife]

thinking about sub!rhiannon tonight…

now that we’ve talked about dom!rhiannon, allow me to introduce you to: sub!rhiannon. i think this applies most to the version of herself from when she’s still relatively new to killing. a version that, after a long night out, just needs to fall into the arms of somebody who can take of her properly. sub!rhiannon who trusts you enough to let her guard down as much as this. sub!rhiannon who gets so whiny when she first lets you have your way with her: grinding her hips and begging for your touch the moment she’s got the courage to let herself want. to let herself be taken by another. she has learned to be in control of things, to take a life with one practiced stab of her knife. but with all that newfound control comes a longing to put it into your hands, from time to time. something about it turns her on so much…to be on the receiving end of things, to have someone’s full attention on herself, to be the one who’s controlled, in an environment safe enough to.

sub!rhiannon who shyly admits to a fantasy of hers once, half hoping you’ll forget about it and never bring it up again in the aftermath. sub!rhiannon who eagerly lets you blindfold her when you do bring it up again, because you’re attentive like that. she allows you to put the blindfold on, always checking in with her to make sure she’s as into this as the had hoped she would be -which she is.

“you’re still good?” you gently whisper into her ear from behind. rhiannon is leaning against your chest, a shiver running down her bare back.

“mhm, yeah” she nods, licking her lips in anticipation.

“can you see anything?” you question, running the tip of your fingers down the length of her arms. you take pride in the goosebumps that rise underneath your slow touch.

“no” she shakes her head after tilting it experimentally, testing the blindfold you’ve wrapped around her head. “no, i can’t”

“good” you hum approvingly and kiss down the side of her neck. her breath hitches underneath the firm pressure of your lips.

you keep trailing your fingertips down rhiannon’s arm, caressing the inner side of it, over her wrist, to where she’s clutching her knife in her firm white knuckle hold. it’s trembling.

“and you know you can stop at any time?” you ask, again. you’re just as new to this as she is, but rhiannon had been quite vocal about this specific fantasy of hers.

as if on cue, she whispers “mhm” and nods her head in the direction from which your voice had come.

you nudge your index finger between the palm of her hand and her tense fingers. like this, you ease her fist open until she’s barely holding onto the knife anymore. that’s when you take it from her. rhiannon gasps at the loss of contact with her beloved weapon. it is what keeps her confident, striding the streets late at night, eyes set on a potential victim. and now, that exact knife is in your hand, instead. just like that, she's passed all her power onto you.

you hush her and take it experimentally. she’s allowed you to hold it beforehand, of course, just to get an idea of the weight of it. to get a feel of the thrill each use brings to rhiannon.

your silence must’ve alarmed something in your girlfriend, whose head darts back to where she suspects you, quietly calling out your name. “i’m still here” you assure, as you gently squeeze her shoulder with the other hand. “i told you i got you”

rhiannon opens her mouth, looking like she wants to speak, but then shuts it abruptly when she hears the scratchy noise of the blade unfolding. she audibly gulps when you carefully guide her back until you’re both leaning against the pillows comfortably. with your mouth close to her ear all over again, you ask: “is this what you wanted?”

she nods in response, about to verbally agree when you suddenly press the blunt side of the blade to her thigh. it’s not sharp, nor is there any risk of harming her, but the cold sensation punches a ragged breath from rhiannon’s lungs anyway.

“o-oh!” her fingers tighten around your free wrist, her whole body tense as you gently drag it along her skin and upwards. like this, there’s no risk of breaking skin at all. you -being less experienced with guiding the knife- wouldn’t trust yourself enough to do that. not that you’d ever mean any harm, but even hurting her by accident is too risky for your own liking. and, besides, it’s not like rhiannon can tell -with her eyes covered and closed underneath the blindfold.

you doubt that it’s about that at all: about the possibility of causing pain. no, it’s about the control. control that’s usually in rhiannon’s hands at all times. control that she can only give up on when she passes it on to someone else. that someone, who she has enough trust in, happens to be you.

with that in mind, you run the mental up her body, relishing in the way she shivers when you press the flat of her knife against her lower abdomen, then follow the thin trail of hair all the way up to her belly button. rhiannon shakes in your hold when you play with her breast with one hand -gently rolling it between your index and your thumb- whilst the other carefully pushes the same part of the blade against her other nipple.

she’s always been sensitive there and so she cries out at the sudden cold, arching her body in a beautiful bend. you hush her and guide her back against you with the free hand draped over her stomach. rhiannon's muscles jump to the touch. each comes to her as a surprise, without being able to use her vision in order to detect any motion like she usually would. she’s panting by now and tosses her head back against your shoulder breathlessly.

rhiannon has grown stronger over the past couple of months: her biceps has grown -not an excessive amount, but enough to be hard to the touch when the muscles flex instinctively. the gain has not gone unnoticed; she could have her way with you so easily if she wanted to and yet.

yet you’re the one holding the blunt side of her weapon to her skin. yet she lets you.

carefully, in order not to startle her, you let your hand slide upwards, over the valley between her breasts, up her throat, before finally being able to hold her chin and gently force her to lean her head further back.

„look at you“ you whisper, genuinely mesmerized by the sight. you can feel rhiannon’s pulse racing underneath your palm, you can hear the way she’s forcing each breath to come from her lungs. with ease, you work the knife up to trace her jawline with its flat. she’s holding her breath, now, not daring to move in your grip.

once you’ve had enough of trailing the entire shape of rhiannon’s outline with the metal, you set it aside on her bedside table, careful to fold it beforehand.

when you bring your hand between her thighs next, it is your turn to gasp in surprise. she’s wet. she’s so wet, your fingers slide right through her slick folds. rhiannon is dripping for you...

[visualtaehyun]

Hello~ um, hope you don't mind the bombardment of sudden notifications from me, but after reading more on your linguistic analysis posts for Love Sea (THANK YOU btw; they're really really adding to my enjoyment of the show and I didn't think I could love the show even more but here we are), it got me thinking of a question I have regarding LITA and Prapai's way of calling Sky.

Mostly I'm wondering if you had any insight about Prapai testing out different ways of addressing Sky at the end of episode 9. The subs say Prapai tests out "Sky krub" and then "nong Sky krub", but it sounds to me like Prapai is saying "khap" the at first and "khrap" the later which sounds distinct to me. Is there a difference? The way the music swells seems to indicate some other meaning, so I'm curious.

I'm also wondering at the implication of Sky asking Prapai to call him "just Sky" in episode 10? I just thought it was interesting since Prapai in ep 9 says "isn't that too curt" about calling Sky just by his name. Also wondering why this request from Sky makes Prapai go feral nearly kiss Sky?

Hope its okay to ask you like this! If its not please feel free to ignore me; I hope you've having a great day! ^w^;;

Ohhhh I hope you realize the monster you've unleashed cause this might get long 😂 Hi though first of all!! Loved reading all your tags in my notifications hehe

My usual disclaimer applies: I'm not a native Thai speaker, just a passionate learner 🙏

First things first: I'll be using screenshots from the Viki version, simply because I highly recommend re-watching the show with those subs for all who have a base level understanding of there being different levels of speech, pronouns, particles etc. in Thai. Back when LITA got re-released on Viki with weekly episodes all over again, my Thai was still in its baby shoes lol but since I was actively following the main cast at the time, I therefore followed a handful of fan translators on twitter too! One of them, midknightmoodz, still translates for BossNoeul's fandoms to this day, has been involved in several Thai BL sub teams on Viki, and got to be the translation editor for LITA's re-release on Viki. Her subs therefore give a little more insight where possible and, as a fan herself, come from a place of wanting interfans to gain a better understanding of some of the intricacies of the language used. Long story short- if the subs look unfamiliar, it's because they're the Viki ones!

If my pre-explanation already got this lengthy then... 🤡

Color-coded for ease of understanding: Prapai, Sky, Plerng, Rain, particles

Pai testing out ways to call Sky

I'll try to faithfully transcribe the way he pronounces the particles but only for this scene here because it establishes a lot of things about how Pai thinks and acts:

สกาย สกาย = Sky... Sky. ห้วนไปไหมวะ สกายคับ¹ น้องสกายค้าบ² /huaan bpai mai wa? Sky khap. Nong Sky khaap/ = Is it too curt? Sky¹. Nong Sky². มันขาดอะไรไปอย่าง น้องสกายครับ³ /man khaat a rai bpai yaang. Nong Sky khrap/ = It's missing something. Nong Sky³.

¹สกายคับ /Sky khap/ This is a pretty standard informal pronunciation of the polite particle ครับ /khrap/. Without it, he feels like he sounds too brusque, the addition of it makes him sound more polite, formal, sweet and honestly pretty flirty!

When they first meet, Pai defaults to informal พี่/น้อง /phi, nong/, since Pai is older and Sky clearly younger, and he uses typically masculine polite particle ครับ /khrap/ A Lot already. We know he's a huge flirt and sleeps around a lot so none of this is surprising to me lol

In the scene after the freshie orientation thing, the contrast to how Pai and Rain talk to each other really puts Pai's use of ครับ /khrap/ with Sky into perspective lol He does not use it with Rain, of course. If my boy wasn't such a walnut, Rain would've clocked right away that Pai is intent on pursuing Sky! Because using ครับ /khrap/ so much when addressing him, makes Pai sound flirty-sweet.

Back to the differences you correctly heard between the ways to pronounce this particle though!

²น้องสกายค้าบ /Nong Sky khaap/ The emphasis on elongating the vowel, the sweet tone of voice, the more endearing น้อง /nong/ + name? This man is laying it on thick lol In ep.10 especially, you'll hear him speak this sweetly and อ้อน /aon/-ing Sky a lot!

In the following scene at Sky's dorm, Pai actually already starts calling Sky น้องสกาย /nong Sky/:

แล้วชัดพอไหมครับ น้องสกาย /laaeo chat paaw mai khrap, nong Sky?/ ชัดพอครับ ว่าพี่ตั้งใจจะมาจีบน้องสกาย หือ /chat paaw khrap? waa phi dtang jai ja maa jeep nong Sky? heu?/ = Is it clear enough? That I intend to be pursuing you? Hm?

Crystal clear 🫠

At the beginning of ep.9, we see Pai getting feedback from his younger siblings re: just "name" vs. Nong "name" and the effect he intends it to have:

- เพลิง = Plerng. - ครับ /khrap?/ = Yes? - น้องเพลิง เรียกนี้เขินไหม /nong Plerng. riiak nee, kheern mai?/ = Nong Plerng. Does calling you that make you feel shy/fluster you? - ถ้าเป็นพี่พายก็ไม่อะ /thaa bpen phi Pai gor mai a/ = If it's you, then nah.

Many of Pai's moves are intended to make Sky shy or get his heart racing. He keeps saying so too, for example here in ep.10 after 'claiming ownership' via the wind symbol:

นี่พี่ทำขนาดนี้แล้วเนี่ย ไม่เขินบ้างเลยหรอครับ /nee phi tham kha-naat nee laaeo niia, mai kheern baang loei raaw khrap?/

³น้องสกายครับ /nong Sky khrap/ This last one is pronounced really properly and clearly, you can hear the rolled ร /r/ in there. It's giving well-mannered or gentleman, basically. This guy is really bringing his A-game, trying to prove to Sky that he's serious about him! And can you believe this utter simp? Playing dress-up, practicing in front of the mirror, testing it out again on his little brother- only to what? Go ambush his crush at his dorm to take him out for a meal during which he talks a mile a minute 😂

Sky asking to be called "just Sky"

Again giving you the entire exchange first, as faithfully as everything's being said:

- พี่พายเลิกเรียกผมว่า น้องสกาย ได้ไหม /phi Pai leerk riiak pom waa "nong Sky" dai mai?/ = Could you stop calling me "Nong Sky"? - แล้วให้เรียกว่าอะไรอะ /laaeo hai riiak waa a rai a?/ = Then what would you have me call you? - สกายก็ได้ กาย⁴เฉย ๆ ก็ได้ /Sky gor dai. gaai/Ky⁴ choei choei gor dai/ = Sky is fine. Just 'Ky⁴ is fine too. ขอแค่ไม่มีคำว่าน้องอะ ฟังแล้วตอแหล⁵ /khaaw khaae mai mee kham waa nong a. fang laaeo dtaaw-laae⁵/ = Just please not the word "nong". Sounds like bullshit.⁵ - สกาย สกายค้าบ² /Sky. Sky khaap²/ = Sky. Sky.²

⁴กาย /gaai/ or /Ky/ Sky's name is สกาย /sa-gaai/ in Thai but among his friends, they mostly all just call him กาย /Ky/ or ไอ้กาย /ai'Ky/. That's clearly too casual for our resident sweet-talker though lol

⁵ตอแหล /dtaaw-laae/ This is a bit of a rude colloquial expression akin to 'bullshit', meaning- being deceitful, pretentious, lying, insincere, duplicitous, fake etc.

It actually comes up once before in this episode when Pai swears he only had 3 hookups after he met Sky lol:

พี่สาบานเลยว่าพี่ไม่ตอแหล /phi saa-baan loei waa phi mai dtaaw-laae/

Pai doesn't always call Sky น้องสกาย /nong Sky/ before Sky asks him not to, though. And the moments he doesn't, honestly go to show that Pai's aware of how that's mostly an act to get Sky to fall for him or at least get him flustered. It does sound fake!

When Pai accidentally triggers Sky by saying "Love makes me blind" in ep.9, he pulls him back out by calling him just สกาย /Sky/:

Same again after being on the phone with Rain and rushing to Sky's dorm:

สกายอยู่ไหน /Sky yuu nai?/

And again while looking after Sky:

สกายจะคิดนะ ว่าพี่ต้องการแค่เซ็กซ์ /Sky ja khit na waa phi dtaawng gaan khaae sex/

His other fallback is the pronoun เรา /rao/, and not just with Sky. Bit of a tangent but- before the freshie orientation thing where he hands Rain that useless coffee receipt lol Pai and Rain talk a bit differently to each other.

Between these two instances, Rain becomes more chill and casual, going from constant ครับ /khrap/'s to only using it when strictly required (whenever you'd ไหว้ /wai/ 🙏 basically lol so hello/bye/thanks/etc.), and Pai goes from calling him เรา /rao/ to just เรน /Rain/. The pronoun เรา /rao/ as a 2nd pers. pronoun is used by people more senior/older to refer to someone younger, it can both be endearing as well as come across as treating someone like a little kid, depending on context.

And this little pronoun is exactly what Pai sometimes switches to, here in ep.9 with Rain for example:

พี่สัญญาว่าจะไม่ทำอะไรเพื่อนเรา /phi san-yaa waa ja mai tham a rai pheuuan rao/

And in ep.10 with Sky as well:

เมื่อคืนเราไข้สูงที่พี่เกือบพาไปโรงบาลอีกรอบแล้วนะ /meuua kheuun, rao khai suung thee phi geuuap phaa bpai rohng baan eek raawp laaeo na/ ใช่ครับ พี่อยากพาเรามาเดท /chai khrap, phi yaak phaa rao maa date/

As you can see, it mostly comes up when he gets serious. Being the eldest sibling, I guess he can never quite turn off that caretaker mode (or maybe it's his factory setting?).

Circling all the way back 🥴

²สกายค้าบ /Sky khaap/ Here he goes again: full-force puppy eyes, sweet voice, long vowel on the particle, leaning in as if to kiss him- he's trying to tease and fluster Sky again. And this time? Ohoho, the evidence is unmistakable!

I wouldn't necessarily say this request drove Pai wild lol it's more how this scene so nicely mirrors the first meal they shared in ep.9 where Pai shared all the most important info about himself against Sky's will 😂 Whereas here Sky is the one asking questions, engaging, showing interest- he's finally opening up to Pai :>

สกายของพี่ /Sky khaawng phi/

Hope my rambles made at least some sense but I'll gladly answer any follow-up questions~ Thanks for giving me an excuse to re-watch some LITA and thanks for reading ✨

[thydungeongal]

can you think of any mid-sized, easy-to-get-into ttrpg you'd like to see me dig into? Failing that, is there any way to get rolemaster for free?

Oh, I can think of at least a couple I'd love to hear you talk about!

Ironsworn and Flying Circus would be fun to see you tackle, and both are definitely on the mid-sized side, but both are also very interesting to me because they very much represent very maximalist applications of the PbtA framework. Ironsworn is very easy to get access to since the base game is entirely free.

There are ways to get Rolemaster for free, but they involve piracy. I'm unsure about your personal feelings about piracy but I understand if it's not something you can exactly talk about openly on your channel. There are also a few free Rolemaster-likes, Lightmaster being the most meticulously crafted one. It's weird, because it's basically an exercise in taking the OGL and D&D 3.5 system reference document and trying to build a d20-based simulacrum of Rolemaster 2e from the ground up. It's a neat product and the one I always end up coming back to when people ask for a free sampler of Rolemaster without having to put money down.

(By the way, if you decide to look at Rolemaster, I don't want you pulling any punches: I know I am very loud about my love for that dang game, but it is a game that I love almost in spite of itself.)

And finally I would really appreciate seeing you tackle something like Mythras or RuneQuest! (For the record, Mythras effectively is a legacy version of RuneQuest but stripped of the RuneQuest branding and rereleased as a toolkit game.) Based on what I have understood about your tastes in RPGs I think both of those games may very much be emphatically not your cup of tea, but speaking only for myself I have only very recently started delving into the history and many incarnations of Chaosium's old workhorse Basic Role-playing System (that has powered RuneQuest, Call of Cthulhu, and Stormbringer, among others) and have been especially taken in by Mythras's meticulous approach to verisimilitude and trying to provide GMs with tools for creating world's which feel real. This has partly been due to one of my good friends hyping up her homebrew setting (some of which she's posted on her blog @mythratica) and I have also caught the worldbuilder's disease simply through reading the rules of Mythras.

Sorry, that got very long. But yes, I love listening to you talk about games :)