#like no i think hes neat actually i am going to analyze the fuck out of every scrap of content we get about him

[autisticjoshrusso]

all im saying is that buck is too used to assuming he's the problem and is the one that needs to change to work well in a relationship with someone with an avoidant attachment style. like he will absolutely internalize criticism that is coming from a place of his partner being triggered and trying to reassert their independence or make buck's behavior align with what they believe is "correct"/"safe". it's a toxic dynamic in the making and they BOTH need someone that's a better fit for them.

[iouinotes]

Show-off | Mike Ross

pairing: Mike Ross x female!reader

show: Suits

genre: smut word count: 2,9k

summary: you and your co-worker Mike dont get along very well. But when you have something that he needs, suddenly everything is different.

a/n: Just watched the first two episodes of "Suits" and something about Mike is really attractive-

Working in a well-known office as a lawyer has it's advantages. Such as being respected by business people or being able to afford a lot of things, you spend all your evenings analyzing documents rather than meeting actual people.

Nevertheless, sometimes there are also negative factors. For example, my co-worker Mike, who really believes, that he is with his ridiculously skinny tie and sarcastic humor better than the others. Or right now, better than me.

"God, I cant believe you. Can you behave for once?" I use my fingers to push my hair back in frustration, noticing how my head starts to hurt. Its 10 pm and I'm currently trying to stay calm, though because of one man in particular, my nerves seem to be getting thinner within seconds. Valuable time is wasted that I could spend somewhere else instead of with him.

"Now it's my fault, that you don't have the documents with you? Sorry, I can't help you being organized in your own workplace." His voice irritates me. Everything about him is so frustrating.

"I told you, I didnt get the message! How am I supposed to know, that you need something, when you don't tell me anything about it? Maybe you should stop being so childish and ask me in the first place, instead of running to Rachel!" If our job had nothing to do with justice and we werent literally standing in a law company right now, I would kill him. And then I wouldn't hesitate to go to court and say it was self-defense, because I didnt want to hear any of his miserable excuses anymore.

"So what do you think, I should do? I need these documents for tomorrow. Please, I know you don't like me, but it is really urgent." Why does he has such blue eyes? The look he is going me is even more irritating than his voice.

I sign, exhibit my laptop and try to put the pens back, that are laying all over my desk.

"Okay, fine. As I said, the documents are at home, so-" I don´t even get to finish my sentence.

"Great, so I'll meet you there. And I wont even tell anyone, if your place is a mess." His eyes wander over my messy desk, and even If I don´t like to admit it, it's a bad habit of mine. But, he shouldn't make any assumptions about the neatness in my apartment.

"I hope you loose the documents on your way home." At my words, he grins smugly.

"Well, then I could lie and say you didnt found them anymore and I hadnt had the chance to go through them." He leans towards me.

"I'll run you over with my car." He raises his eyebrows at my threat.

"You sure should do something that makes you smile more often. Is that even something you know how to do?" I show him my middle finger and turn to left my office. When I close the door, I hear the laughter in his voice.

"The next storm should be named after you as quickly as you left the room." He follows after me.

"Can you shut up for once? Oh, I forgot. You don´t last one second being silent. Thats a shame, the world could finally heal." His hand rests on his heart, his features fake a hurt expression.

"Ouch. You really don´t like me that much, huh?" His eyes try to search mine.

"You get on my nerves on purpose every fucking day. Should I thank you for that?" I turn my head to look at him.

"Yes, you should. Your life would be so boring without me." He grins at me again from the side, that typical grimace that is always adorn on his face.

"You wish." When I tell him my address, he raises his eyebrows, but before he can make an unfavorable comment, I get into my car.

Darkness surrounds me and when I see him going away, I lower my head to the steering wheel. He really is the best at confusing my emotions.

~~~~~

I turn off the lights of my car and get out of it, so I can finally make my way to my flat. Its not something special, I mean I have a living room, which is quite big and connected to the kitchen, a bedroom and a bath. But I am very lucky, because I have a small balcony, from which I can watch the stars at night. But I usually only do that when I can't sleep.

So, when I enter my apartment, I let my eyes wander over the manageable mess, I put some clothes back in the closet and the dishes in the washing machine. The place almost looks decent, when I hear the doorbell.

As I open the door, I'm nervous for some reason. I let him in and turn to my office drawers, looking for the document.

"Nice place. You live here alone?" His fingers trace my bookshelf, I see him reading the titles.

"No, my wife is still at work." When I look at him dead serious, I see him laugh in surprise.

"So, you do have humor. I thought, you were one of those exceptions that wouldn't be able to do that." He means it as a joke, but something in my chest hurts.

When I reply with a monotonous voice, I see his eyebrows pull together. "I live here alone. That's what you wanted to hear?" I'm getting more frustrated again with every second he's around me.

"No- I didnt mean it that way. I'm sorry. My intentions were good, I promise." When I look at him for a moment, I see his honest expression.

It would be so easier for me to hate him, if I didnt know, he was a good human. Well, most of the time.

We are silent for a moment, but when I hear his footsteps, I tense up.

"What are you doing?" He's now standing right next to me.

"Helping you. You seem a little, tense?" I glare at him for a moment and he raises his hands in defense.

"Just pointed out the obvious. But dont worry. You still look lovely." I stop in my movements at his words.

"Thats such shock for you?" His voice shows surprise and a certain curiosity.

"Only that you say it." I look into his eyes.

"Well, you may think I'm dumb, but I'm not blind."

He just called me beautiful, sort of. It´s confusing me.

When I finally find the documents, I hold my hand out to him.

"I don´t think you are dumb. I think you're annoying. And a show-off. I don´t like that." His eyes follow me.

"What do you like then?" His question surprises me. He slowly takes the documents out of my hand, his finger gently brushing mine.

"I don´t think that is any of your business." I try to clear my voice. His touch makes me shiver.

"Come on, tell me. Would that be so bad?" His whole presence is making me nervous and I feel my hands start to shake.

At work, I can always hide behind a mask, pretend that nothing he does affects me. I can act like I truly hate him, even though I catch myself looking at him, from time to time. Especially when he shows off his intelligence without realizing it, impresses his clients and -I would never admit it- me too. It's a certain charm about him, the way he always knows how to answer, while being mischievous and clever about it.

But now, that he's in my apartment and so close to me, it's suddenly different. And I don't know how to react to him being nice.

"I look for someone who isnt afraid of commitment. Someone who is honest and kind, but who also challenges me. I want to feel safe, so I can put my trust not only in myself."

He nods and is quiet for a moment, I begin to feel stupid for telling him all of that, when he responds.

"I get that. Someone whose shoulder you can lean on when things get too much. Someone who meets your needs, who wants to be in your life. For longer than a one-night stand." He smiles at me and I see for the first time, why I possibly could like him.

"Also, statistics show higher rates of being robbed or kidnapped, when you have one-night stands." This remark almost makes me laugh, even though it's frightening.

"Well, who would even notice, if I would disappear? Probably only my clients, because they need me." I lower my head, being completely honest with him for the first time.

"I would notice."

When I look at him, he takes a step towards me. His fingers gently slide over my shoulder and brush my hair aside, the touch makes a warm feeling bloom in my chest.

"I couldn't annoy you anymore. My life would be pretty boring without you. And it's not so bad to be able to look at such a pretty face every day, even if it always looks at me annoyed, like all the time." I quietly laugh at that, feeling surprisingly good because of his compliment.

We look at each other, now being really close. My eyes travel to his lips and I don´t even know how it happens, but suddenly he is all over me. His lips on mine, his hands on my waist, lifting me up to sit me on the desk. I moan softly when his hands tangle in my hair and he pushes himself closer to me, so that he's standing between my legs. One of his hands gently wraps around my neck and I feel my loud pulse.

My hands move too, stroking his back and holding him closer to me by his tie. As he pulls his lips away from me, he lifts my chin with his finger. Now, looking down at me with widen pupils. I hold his eye contact, forgetting all about my issues with him, when he speaks to me with a deep voice (which I suddenly don´t think sounds irritating anymore).

"Be angry at me tomorrow and mine for tonight. I bet, all your frustration from work and your thin nerves can catch a break, what do you say?"

Not much. Because I pull him towards me by his tie and kiss him again. I don't want to stop at all anymore. He returns the kiss with the same enthusiasm and his hands find their way to my waist again to lift me up again. When he crosses the living room with quick steps and lays me down on the sofa, I already feel out of breath and clearly turned on.

His kisses become more intense, his lips move from my mouth to my neck, leaving marks there. But it feels too good to make him stop.

"I will gladly hear your excuses, when someone asks you about your hickeys tomorrow. Because you will be all flustered, when you think again about this moment. Where you are ready to be fucked by your colleague, who you despise so much." I whimper as he pushes up my dress and his hands pull my tights down to my knees. The cold air hits my skin, but I don't really notice it, because his lips are on my neck again and his fingers connect first with my stomach and then further down. I hold my breath as his lips touch my ear and his fingers stroke my folds.

"So wet for me. Didnt think, I would turn you on this much." I kiss him to shut him up.

"You are-" I moan, when he finally puts a finger in me. "-so annoying." He laughs at me.

"Am I? But you seem to like it." I feel myself getting wetter, his fingers feel so good as they move gently but firmly inside me. One of his hands moves to push my dress further up and somehow, he manages to pull it over my head. Now, I'm lying in front of him in just a bra, his hands slowly find their way over my body and to my back, which I lift slightly so that he can open the clasp.

When I lie naked in front of him and he massages my breasts, his lips touch mine and his fingers stimulate me, I feel like I'm in heaven.

He breaks apart, so he can look at me and I draw my eyebrows together, when his fingers increase in speed. My mouth opens and the sounds that escape me echo in the apartment.

"I'm- god, I think I am going to come-" at that he starts to tease me, going slower but a lot deeper. My eyes almost roll back as he hits a certain spot inside me.

"That feels good? What do you say, when you want something?" You stupid idiot.

"You stupid-" I begin to say as his lips graze my nipple and his finger scissor and stretch me out further.

"One word, darling. Say it." And because I feel this knot inside me (and maybe this side of him turns me on, like a lot), I finally open my mouth to please him.

"Please, Mike. I-I need to-" My sentence is cut off as his fingers speed up and I moan loudly.

"Thats a good girl, you can be so good to me, if I make you." His lips search mine as I finally come. My breathing is heavy and when I come down from my high and look at his face, I see the satisfied expression.

"You are done-" I can't maintain my strict facial expression and suddenly have to start smiling. His eyes widen in surprise and I raise my eyebrows, still smiling softly.

"What?" I quietly laugh at his expression.

"Nothing, its just- I have never seen you smiling so happy." I roll my eyes gently. As I look at him closer now, I see the bulge in his pants and the loosened tie. As I lean forward, his eyes shift to my body.

"You still are fully clothed. A bit unfair, don't you think?" I watch him swallow and my hands move to his chest to slowly unbutton his shirt. As I also remove the tie and slip the shirt from his shoulders, I sit myself on his lap. Rocking my hips forward and seeing his eyes close. His hands move to my hips and begin to control the movements, my eyes close too and my head leans into the crook of his neck as the movements become faster.

Sighs and heavy breaths leave his lips and once again, one of his hands moves to grab my breasts, lightly grazing the nipples.

I look at him, noticing his swollen lips and his flushed cheeks. His hair is a mess and his forehead is furrowed, but he tries his best to pull himself together.

I groan as I look at him and suddenly think back to todays afternoon, when he was on a phone call and I heard how he listed one reciting fact after another, without any difficulty.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"N-nothing" I'm definitely too embarrassed to admit how much his intelligence and the way he seems to know everything, turns me on.

One of his hands moves to my entrance and teases me by just circling around it. When I try to push myself down, he pulls his fingers away.

"You tell me, whats going on in that pretty head of yours and you'll get me." My body feels so hot, I can't think properly anymore.

"You where on a phone call today and you just- you listed without any effort every single point that will help you win the case. You just said it like- it's nothing."

When his fingers dig into me again, I bite my lips. I try to control my moans and not pay attention to the fact, that I just gave him every opportunity to make him be more complacent than his usual self.

His fingers pump into me and I feel slightly overstimulated. But I wouldnt want to stop now.

"You get off by the thought of me, saying memorized facts? Who would have thought that my intelligence would turn you on so much." God, his ego probably doesn't fit in this apartment anymore.

"Don't think too highly of yourself, you still annoy me." Now I'm really just trying to get myself out of the situation. I lean towards him, so he can't say anything anymore and pull on his blonde hair to distract him.

Moans escape my lips and when I notice that his noises are also getting louder, I pull away from him. He looks at me confused.

"I want you inside me." Thats all I say, but he quickly complies with my request. I slide off his lap and wait for him to take off his pants and boxers until he's finally on top of me again. His fingers find my bottom lip and while maintaining eye contact, I open my mouth so he can insert a finger. My tongue brushes against his and after a few moments of him pressing on my tongue, he lets his fingers move back to the spot that needs him the most.

He stretches me for a few minutes until he finally guides his cock to my hole and slowly penetrates me. My eyes close and I hear his breath in my ear as he pushes further.

"You are so tight- good thing finally someone fucks you." I nod without thinking and hear his laughter in my ear.

"You think so too, huh. Would you let anyone fuck you then?" My stomach tenses, I feel the pleasure growing again and every movement of him. This feels so good-

I try to shake my head, but I'm too lost in the sensations to pay much attention to his words.

"No? But I thought, you hate me. Why would you let me fuck you, if you don´t even like me?" His thrusts become faster and more uncontrolled, I feel him getting closer to his own high.

"I-" I try to stutter "d-don´t hate you." I feel myself getting closer and reach into his hair, pulling at the roots and feeling his lips on my shoulder. His thrusts become more powerful and as he moves his hand and massages my clitoris, suddenly everything goes white in front of my eyes and I come.

I feel every inch inside of me, feel his fingers brush over the visible bulge in my stomach and think to myself: god I feel so full

When he comes too, I moan so loudly that it's impossible that my neighbors didn't hear me. His hand finds its way around my chin, he slides a finger into my mouth and I feel my vagina tighten because of it.

He hisses and his thrusts slow down until he finally pulls out of me, trying not to fall on top of me. As I give him some space next to me, he falls halfway on me, but pulls me on top of him in the next second and I can hear his strong heartbeat. With his outstretched hand he pulls the blanket over me, that had fallen to the floor.

We both try to catch our breath and as the minutes pass, only the wind outside is heard. He is the first to break the silence.

"So, you don't hate me?" I lift my head from his naked chest to look at him.

"Only sometimes." He shakes his head and smiles, gently stroking my back.

The evening went by quickly, we ordered a pizza and ate it (clothed) on the terrace. We were going over his documents for tomorrow, I blushed at the thought that this was the real reason he came here, but he just hugged me from behind after we finished and continued watching the stars.

It's not really clear what this evening means for us, but I don´t want to get into that, not yet. Because I'm not sure what it means anyway.

Because now, I have to get used to the fact that his voice no longer irritates me, that his jokes no longer annoy me and that he as a person, is actually not as bad as I imagined.

"Who thought, I was the one to get you relax."

But he is still a show-off.

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2024: October Wrap-Up.

Gr8 news: I am no longer very far behind on my NaNo prep reading!! I had to drop JUST LIKE HOME (reread) and HOUSE OF LEAVES, but I got through the rest of my Haunted House and/or Aliens and/or Parasite/Fungus TBR. Here they all are!

Photos and/or reviews linked:

SHRIEK - ★★★★ I think SHRIEK Is my favorite volume of the Ambergris trilogy, taken as a whole--the one-way conversation Duncan was having with Janice was a really neat narrative choice, and then the reveal in the Afterword's Afterword was, in true VanderMeer fashion, mind-blowing.

FINCH - ★★★★ I was actually surprised by how much I liked this one. It helped me figure out a LOT about what kinds of power dynamics I enjoy in borderline-dystopian fiction, and what intrigues me most about limited agency. It wrapped the story up almost too neatly, for a VanderMeer, but I did still have a good time and blitzed through it quickly. Given this one and SHRIEK, I'm counting the Whole Series as a Four-Star read--I'd like to reread it someday, now that I know what's going on.

LEECH - ★★★★★ (reread) STILL ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVES, OFFICIALLY!! It's very gothic and heavy and fucked up, but it does FASCINATING things with POV, and worldbuilding, and storytelling frameworks. PLEASE check the content warnings, but if none of those are hard no's for you, definitely pick this one up. I suspect anyone for whom Animorphs was a Formative Influence will adore this (but so far my sample size is really only 1)--please prove me right.

A HOUSE WITH GOOD BONES - ★★★½ This was fun! Not my favorite Kingfisher (that award still goes to HOLLOW PLACES), but I had a good time--I laughed, I squealed over vultures, I blasted through pages to get to the end.

STARLING HOUSE - ★★★★ Alix E. Harrow always manages to write exactly my catnip, somehow. Maybe it's the ADHD, but I'm constantly finding connections to my own writing projects in her work, and STARLING HOUSE was no exception! I liked that this one was more modern, and the sibling dynamic was precious, and I love weird sentient houses where space is more of a suggestion than a hard and fast rule. I'll probably reread this one for Driscoll purposes!

WOODWORM - ★★★½ So much rage in such a tiny volume, and I was Absolutely Here For It. I don't tend to read much lit fic, but I do try to read a lot in translation, and I thought this one did very cool stuff with Spanish--the prose felt natural in English, but I loved the linguistic details the translators left in Spanish and how much depth that added. I feel like this one might be a good fit for Carmen Maria Machado fans, too.

HOW TO SELL A HAUNTED HOUSE - ★★★ Call this a low 3, from me. It was Fine, I guess. I liked what he did with the act structure (labeling parts as stages of grief was very cool), and I liked the family dynamics and history, but a lot of the humor didn't land for me (I got a few sensible chuckles, but a bunch of it wasn't funny), and the "oh this author is A Man, huh" moments made me roll my eyes (seriously: Who thinks about their ~breasts~ when an angry taxidermied squirrel is clawing down your shirt?? No One With Breasts, Mr. Dude). This book did at least teach me that I'm not really interested in gore (it's just boring, unlike body horror, my beloved). I might still pick up HORRORSTOR, but I probably won't look into most of his other stuff, if this one is indicative of his general style. Meh.

THE ART OF EXCESS - No rating (didn't read the whole thing). At the end of ALWAYS COMING HOME, Richard Powers mentioned this book as the reason he finally committed to ALWAYS, so I was curious what this Tom Leclair dude had to say about it back in 1989. I had a heck of a time tracking down a copy (it's very out of print, and my local library had to source it from the Library of Congress for me), but I didn't want to buy it to read just the preface/intro/epilogue, because I haven't read any of the other texts he analyzes. Leclair's style was very readable, and I was intrigued by his framework, but I found some of his conclusions eye-rolly, given his sample size. I posted this one because I think Library of Congress books are fun, but I didn't add it to my Goodreads.

BLACK TIDE - ★★★½ This one had me rolling my eyes in the first couple chapters, and I was afraid I wasn't going to like it, but once Fucked Up Shit Started Happening, the momentum really picked up and didn't stop--I blitzed through it way past my bedtime on a school night. It was fucked up and weird and tense and bloody pull-no-punches horror, but it ALSO made me laugh, and I loved our two fuck-ups surviving the apocalypse together. NOTE: Dogs (and Gulls) Are Not Safe, and the cast is small enough that it matters a lot :( if you can't stomach animal harm/death, skip this.

A HALF-BUILT GARDEN - 81/338 pages read; will report back. Enjoying it so far! Glad I put it on my NaNo prep reading list, though not quite for the reasons I planned--the reflections on motherhood as well as parenting outside the binary have been interesting, so far (and that's relevant for my own haunted house endeavors!). A much gentler ride than BLACK TIDE, and the immersive tech reminds me of Murderbot's world, just Earthbound.

Overall! Fabulous month for reading! Anytime I think "wow I need A Break™ from writing or life," this is the type of reading I mean--where I can spend a couple weeks annihilating books within a day to Refill the Words Reservoir.

Under the Cut: A Note About ~*★Stars★*~

Historically, I have been Very Bad™ about assigning things Star Ratings, because it's so Vibes Heavy for me and therefore Contingent Upon my Whims. I am refining this as I figure out my wrap up posts (epiphany of last month: I don't like that stars are Odd, because that makes three the midpoint and things are rarely so truly mid for me)(I have hacked my way around this with a ½). Here is, generally, how I conceptualize stars:

★ - This was Bad. I would actively recommend that you do NOT read this one, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, not worth the slog. Save Yourself, It's Too Late For Me. Book goes in the garbage (donate bin).

★★ - This was Not Good. I would not recommend it, but it wasn't a total waste or wash--something in here held my interest/kept my attention/sparked some joy. I will not be rereading this ever. Save Yourself (Or Join Me In Suffering, That Seems Like A Cool Bonding Activity).

★★★ - This was Good/Fine/Okay/Meh. I don't care about this enough to recommend it one way or another. Perfectly serviceable book, held my interest, I probably enjoyed myself (or at least didn't actively loathe the reading). I don't have especially strong feelings. You probably don't need to save yourself from this one--if it sounds like your jam, give it a shot! Just didn't resonate with me particularly powerfully. I probably won't reread this unless I'm after something in particular.

★★★½ - I liked this! I'll probably recommend it if I know it matches someone's vibes or specific requests, but I didn't commit to a star rating on Goodreads. More likely to reread, but not guaranteed.

★★★★ - I really enjoyed this!! I would recommend it (sometimes with caveats about content warnings or such--I tend to like weird fucked up funny shit, and I don't have many hard readerly NO's). Not a perfect book for me by any means, but Very Good. This is something I would reread! Join me!!

★★★★★ - I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS, IT REWIRED MY BRAIN, WILL RECOMMEND TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION (content warning caveats still apply--see 4-star disclaimer). Excellent book, I'll reread it regularly, I'll buy copies for all my friends, I'll try to convince all of Booklr to read it, PLEASE join me!!

[dephirium]

Dephi's predictions.

Hello. A bunch of people a lot smarter than me have already analyzed aspects of the prologue but I am bored and I want to get my thoughts out. General who I think survives or kills, ideas of what is going to happen, questions set up, directions of character arcs — That kind of stuff. It is just word vomit.

This is going to age like milk fast, I bet (I wrote this after the prologue was released). Also warning I have bad memory so correct me if I got a fact wrong or something, I rewatched the prologue sleep deprived so I am bound to make mistakes.

Spoilers for the prologue and stuff. Duh...

Also beware swearing, unfunny humor and the obligatory ''I am not above biases and personal taste'' warning.

Holy shit this took a while to make.

Miscellaneous hopes / guesses

(Considering the game's heavy ties with religion, here's a small blurb on that) I am not into religion and I have enough religious trauma as is but I think it would be very cool if there was a trial that paralleled the Ark of Noe situation; Someone saving only themselves, who god has deemed worthy, and leaving the sinners to drown is kind of similar to the death game premise. Also a case paralleling the Adam & Eve situation would be a neat but obvious pick considering the game's emphasis on it in their symbolism and themes. Just. The murders having some kind of tie-in with religion itself would be so interesting even if only on subtext.

Wonder why they didn't try to break the windows in the whole ‘Panicking bcs the gas’ bit (I mean yes it is necessary for the narrative for the characters to be put unconscious but it seems weird that nobody even attempted it or addressed it after-the-fact, nonetheless. Specially considering that they specifically addressed how helmet-wearing Jett was knocked out). Though Damon was very quick to fall, so maybe they did try it after he was knocked unconscious. Ah also it is very unlikely they were out for more than a day or two (because there are actually a lot of semantics involved in taking care of someone who is unconscious / unresponsive — and none of them are pretty y'all). Or maybe they did. Who knows with Danganronpa logic /shrug

Also the train was mentioned to be worse for wear than expected. Chekov's gun tells me it wasn't the actual train for Eden's Academy and they just yoinked the cast before the real one could arrive. As to the people Grace saw, it is likely that they were the mastermind group (The paintings depict many animals which could mean a group instead of a individual / the deadass confirmation we get with the tree of ignorance folk), hence why the knocking agent was planted beforehand.

What if Eden's garden is literally just a facade for talent yoinkers to kidnap and make ppl kill each other and who survives gets roped into the group lol. /hj

THE FUCK IS THE LIQUID ON THE BASEMENT??? It is not water, as it appears to be non-conductive, is way too much to seem like oil... Just. That whole sequence in the boiler room was so fucking weird, man. Is it water but doesn't touch any electrical wiring (Despite, I believe, the cables being mentioned as exposed)? is it NOT water? WHY IS THIS RELEVANT. IS THE DEATH GAME BEING HOSTED CLOSE TO WATER?

How fucking long did Damon and Eva take to get to the kitchen lol? Because they saw Akire on the floor (That was Akire, right? I remember the shoes looking like formal-wear...) and bee-lined to the kitchen afterward. Even supposing that canonically Damon checked every basement door to spite Eva (which isn't very long because Damon kind of gets bored after a bit of checking each room / is actually very on character so probably he did thinking about it), that leaves like... 10 minutes, tops. It just reads as weird in my opinion. Wonder if that is going to be mentioned later on.

I saw the walkthrough because my laptop had a aneurysm trying to load the game, but like. The tree of ignorance room has these... Egyptian hieroglyphs (?) Looking things that make me think that that's what going to open after each chapter / death. They look like mall stores what the fuck is this place (also it appears to have a second floor for what I remember ?)

Mara and Cara are very similar names. Wonder if they are related or something (they also both share a motif of guns) lol.

It is very likely that this isn't the first killing game, as per Cara's situation. However, it is very likely that it was a student council situation (meaning a "no trial just kill each other'' kind of deal), which would explain why Cara had a gun (because so far we haven't seen anywhere on the killing game ground that has access to fire weapons) and how the fuck the killer got away with such a simple killing plan.

Also considering the fact that all the cast calls Cara's murderer a man (idk why if gender neutral pronouns exist but ok) and that Tozu exists, it could be likely that he was Cara's murderer, and he won his killing game. or something. This also could explain why Tozu wanted them to solve how the culprit did it and not who the culprit is — He probably already knows who it was.

Considering what I said about Mara and Cara being similar, it kind of fits. That or he's related to a character of the cast. Maybe Wolfgang, considering his sheep-adjacent mask. Or both idk

It is very unlikely there's a mastermind amongst the students (kind of duh considering Tozu's whole ordeal, but still). However that doesn't remove the possibility of a traitor.

Speaking of, the death game grounds seem... Small? Like sure there's the living quarters, the "outside" and the tree of ignorance and they are somewhat big in their own right, but it just feels. Small in the context of official Danganronpa games. It is likely a engine limitation / self-imposed limitation for the devs sanity, probably, because doing a bigger environment would be more troublesome, but nonetheless I'm excited to see how they utilize the space. Maybe the areas that will open up in the tree of ignorance will help freshen things up.

GUESSES I HAVE FOR KILLING THINGS:

The locks in the living grounds are likely to become relevant in a trial (Probably the first), likely locking the cast out while the murderer is still inside? For what I remember the people who woke up on the tree of ignorance are not aware of the locks existence (Living quarters / outsiders are, however - Toshiko used them after all) and that could be weaponizable information in the trial.

I am super sure a death happens in the outside's fancy marble thingy and it will be beautiful and tragic.

Damon Maitsu

The vent connecting the boiler room to the kitchen is SO fucking obviously to be used as a killer's escape route I almost expect it to not be used just to spite us.

Start of prologue: Togami kinnie?

End of prologue: DAMON STOP UNLEASHING YOUR INNER TOGAMI GODDAMMIT

I have seen people speculating that Damon is going to die and there's going to be a Kaede / Shuichi protag switch, but honestly? I don't really see that happening considering the prologue already set up a very interesting character arc for him. BUT, I do see likely that there's a Komaeda chapter 4 situation where there's a POV switch for a bit with either Eva or Akire, most likely Eva because of her status as co-protag and/or sidekick.

Nonetheless, it is obvious that Damon is going to go through a character arc so he stops being such an ass to people. I love the guy but yes he needs to be knocked down that unhealthy mindset of his.

Because of his isolation from his peers it is likely that his motives to kill, if there are any, are family driven (It is also likely the fuck has heavy family issues because he kins togami too hard and that asshole didn't have a good relationship with his parents neither) the killing motives are likely to give us the context as to what nurtured this fuck’s god/inferiority complexes. Also because of this he would have the "protag doesn't have that big an incentive to kill" motive detachment like mister I Pissed The Bed Makoto Naegi.

Also people who are unable to see a nuanced / different take on the protagonist like Damon or Teruko on Despair Time without calling them names or misreading their characters pisses me off SO much, specially with Damon (Teruko is a different can of worms I am not opening today tyvm) because I am able to sympathize with him as someone ND who at some point decided to isolate from others and put this front of being a purely logical zero puny emotions individual because logic was just easier than facing complicated emotions I wasn't taught how to express and / or would be berated for. He's a interesting character a great deviation of the goody-two-shoes protagonist trope. I can't wait to see what they do with him and see him suffer and earn friendships with the cast.

Eva Tsukasa

I could go into detail but I am not that eloquent and other people have talked about it better. Here is a blurb-analysis of Damon in general and here is a analysis of him through the neurodivergent lens. Any opinion I have about the bastard is vocalized better by those two ngl (Eternity's Damon fics are also very good!) . I'll probably do my own separate blog about him if I have the energy, but I feel like I would just repeat points made better by other people.

Start of prologue: Pls don't be Kirigiri

End of prologue: PLS DON'T BE KOKICHI

Eva had a rough beginning because the first impression she gave was Kirigiri kinnie vibes and fun fact i fucking hated kirigiri on dr1 so i wasn't liking where this was going. That changed around 5 dialogues in with her saying she bridal carried Damon, which made me less prone to hate her on pure instinct. She's interesting! I like her a lot. I like the way that she and Damon share their pessimistic pragmatism and are the only two to shut down the whole buddy-buddy prospect; They both are very similar in a lot of ways, almost like character foils (but not quite — That's Akire) in a certain way. I cannot wait to see what they do with her talent, one of the most interesting ones I have seen in any fangan (though I do find it kinda dumb and a bit on the nose in a light hearted way).

Now onto the biased opinions — I think they shoot her shot way too early. While, yes, I found it very interesting that they didn't beat around the bush and didn't do the "ult ???" thing (I kinda find that troupe obnoxious at this point), I do view the fact that Eva's ultimate was revealed this early a very odd writing choice (and the reveal a bit clunky in personal writing taste). A good way to create intrigue and tension since the prologue to get the audience hooked, but I do wonder how do they plan to utilize her and this early reveal. In fact, if anything, this early reveal and her Eve motif - who doomed both her and Adam out of heaven's gates, and is literally implied to be bad since her conception out of Adam's left rib - make me wonder if she's being set up in a Rantaro fashion, and she'll be the reason the game starts (probably victim). I kinda hope not. She's an interesting character even if I believe that the most relevant part of her narrative was given far too early (although I do want to know how tf is Liar an ultimate talent).

Diana Venicia

Start of prologue: animal crossing character core

End of prologue: ... Are you a traitor lol?

She's a sweetheart and I don't trust it. With her sweet persona and her chameleon theming, she just screams killer red flags to me. I am unsure when exactly would she crack, but I think it would be kind of early on, like chapter 1-3 type of early. I think bears mention that everyone and their mom has called out the fact that Kara's dummy is way too realistic and her talent would enable to pull out that feat.

I don't see her being a particularly important blackened on the grand scheme of the narrative (unless she's in kahoots and she's like a traitor or whatever) but it would serve to show everyone the severity of the environment and how even the nicest person can crack against it.

The idea of yassifying a corpse to hide/obfuscate details of the cause of death or whatever is literally so so cool and I want it to happen so bad. But her and Kai's possible blackened situations (spoiler I do view both as killers as it makes the most thematic sense) seem a little too similar so probably if one is a killer the other will not.

Toshiko Kayura

Start of prologue: Hiyoko looking ass

End of prologue: Is your mouth fucked girlie

SIMILARLY, I don't trust the child. I am not sure why. She's good tho! I find her interesting enough for the setting and the prologue has set up enough with her character that I look forward whatever they want to do with her (and her formal way of speech is charming haha). I just hope it isn't a generic ''oh the kid is actually insane lol'' kind of deal as I am honestly tired of the Monaka twist, but I do see her being traitor adjacent at the very least. I don't see her killing (or, well, I hope™ she doesn't kill) but I can see her as a victim, probably in around chapters 3-4. I think the cast would try to be careful with her because she is the youngest of the group and that ends up being, partially, one of the reasons of her death. Everyone will be horrified if she does die.

Drawing it in the sand that her parents hated each other or something (or divorced), one had a meltdown and hurt her for whatever reason, hence why she uses her fan on her mouth. It'll probably become relevant later in her respective trial. Also this is the reason why she's a matchmaker.

Something something the bible story of Abraham being told by god to kill his child Isaac to prove his faith something

Cassy + Wenona

Start of prologue: Communism? / YOU'RE SO PRETTY

End of prologue: Oh so MrBeast then / Step on me!

Putting these two together because 1) I don't have much to say about them and 2) they are probably being used as character foils of one another so because of that my thoughts about them are interconnected. Here's my opinions of them:

Cassidy is... Okay. I like her well enough, she had her witty lines (the ace attorney reference was fun), and she feels cohesive enough for the setting and the other characters to not feel entirely out of place. Nonetheless, she is somewhat... irrelevant? Like, all her cards were played on the prologue itself, and there's no real way I can see her character becoming more relevant on the future or have any interesting development; She is a fun character, but not one I find interesting or relevant for the narrative. More like needing to fill lines because people need to die, probably. Her theming with spiders and that one sprite can prove me wrong, tho. Not saying she will kill, but that probably there's something else I am missing? (Addendum: this has taken me so long to write I had time to sit on my thoughts on Cassidy and I realized I kinda don't like how offhandedly mean she is lol. You know. Calling Damon bargain bin lawyer like that isn't an insult to his entire line of work and personhood and disguising it as a joke and all lmao. Wonder if this will be called out further down the line? Could be an interesting point of development for a otherwise stagnant character)

Wenona is interesting! Her design caught my eye since the train fuckery, and it made me deeply interested in her (also I like women so I am biased probably lol) and what her talent would be. While I kind of don't see how her appearance would convey the “ult entrepreneur” title all too well, I do forgive it because otherwise it is so fucking interesting and I am absolutely obsessed (and it's not fault of the writing and probably just personal taste of mine). Her possible character arc is a lot more obvious than Cassidy's, and ironically mirror Damon's "stop treating people like shit" own (Damon asking what is her deal when they are both assholes about talent and worth is very funny). I hope we get more information about her job and how she got where she is now are revealed because I am genuinely interested in her character trajectory and the parallels to the protagonist. Or maybe she stays in girlboss mode idk I wouldn't mind either way she can step on me regardless

I guess that in around chapter 2-3 Cassidy and Wenona are going to start to clash badly because of their different economic ideals (they probably clash on chapt 1 too but it is after a murder that things get worse as everyone becomes paranoid as hell). My guess is that they either end up killing each other or someone else uses the animosity to frame the kill on one of them.

I see Wenona having more chances of survival because so far Cassidy is kind of a (relatively) flat comedic character and doesn't have that many notes of character development / interesting said pieces. But I wouldn't be against her surviving to be honest. She's fun.

Grace Maddison

Start of prologue: SOYBEAN

End of prologue: You're literally a pacing risk huh

She's... a mixed bag. For one part, I like the fact that she raised a valid point in the trial despite the fact that she has been considered nothing more than the hotheaded, "stupid" vulgar one of the group. It gives her a decent amount of depth so far and makes me interested to see more of her. In the other... She's like disguised-Mukuro in dr1 for me, ngl. She's interesting, I can admit that, but definitely not a character I get too excited about (she's a bit annoying to me). Except I worry about how are they going to deal with her on trials, considering the fact that they had to literally knock her out on the mock trial so it could progress in a decent pacing (Which I kinda called out when I first saw her in the kitchen, but I thought she would've been a mukuro situation, details). Or maybe she dies first, which would be a shame ngl.

Wolfgang Akire

As she stands she seems to me like a pacing-risk character and it makes me worry about how they are going to use her going forward, although the fact that she was literally almost killed will probably chill her the fuck out while on trial. I just hope the writers manage to balance the fact that she's vulgar but not stupid as fuck. Oh and her and Akire's dynamic is very funny I love that

Trailer: Oh you get pegged™

Start of prologue: [Lost my shit laughing when I found he was called Wolfgang lol]

End of prologue: Unhinged bitch!! /pos

I like the parallelism of him and Damon! The attorney and the prosecutor, emotions and logic, the leader of the group (seemingly) and the social pariah. Akire is a character that works because in any other Danganronpa setting, he would be the protagonist. But the thing is this: He is not, here. This allows us to see raw sides of him that otherwise we wouldn't have — or that, in turn, we would have context for.

The mock trial meltdown works because we, as an audience, are seeing him through another person's (probably biased) perspective. The lack of interpersonal context of his thoughts or actions makes the slip of his calm demeanor to yelling—begging, almost—for reasoning of the killer's actions all the more jarring.

Anyhow thesis out of the way here are more thoughts:

This set up could not be achieved without Akire being the role he is, an antagonist for the mere factor that his entire existence is an antithesis of Damon's persona. But unlike the debater, who hides the fact that he cares and craves human connection, the lawyer hides a far uglier underside that he doesn't expose unless he is in familiar territory — His area of expertise, in fact — The courtroom. Quite literally, his territory, his area of expertise, his playground; He is confident in his abilities until he is quite literally denied the closure he craves for a killer's despicable actions against a ultimate.

In more ways than one, he, like Damon, probably has a god complex because of his title / the ultimates. He just demonstrates it... Subtly. He is the textbook example of a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Akire ends up killing I am like 70% sure of this. He's too unhinged, and we never had a rival who did commit a murder themselves on DR so it would be interesting? (Kokichi doesn't count). Also the "28 STAB WOUNDS" man committing a murder himself would be a interesting prospect, with the wolf in sheep's clothing themes he has going on; Specially considering that he is most likely going to become one of the surrogate leaders of the class.

Calling him out as the killer would probably generate a Mikan-esque situation (Not like Kai's levels of bad but more born out of respect and lie-ridden logic than pity/empathy hard emotion bait) of nobody believing Damon and it sounds fun. It would be an interesting prospect considering Damon's possible "getting people to trust me after isolating myself and overcome my own biases" character arc. What better way to make a climax for such than to go against the leader of the group and getting people to trust you despite the odds?

Oh also it is very likely a relative of his (probably his dad) killed a important woman in his life (probably his mom. Or like, someone else killed her and was never caught or something idk pick your poison mom dead either way) and that's why he became a lawyer / has such strong sense of justice and the reason why he had that more-or-less breakdown on the mock trial.

Some other stuff I won't go into detail

This is the dump of other things I wanted to mention but I am too low energy to dwell onto and I don't want to procrastinate on this draft more than I already have (ITS BEEN A YEAR SINCE I STARTED THIS)

Anyhow:

I view that Kai would also be a killer, using his charisma in the same way Diana would (in a very Mikan way, as he's used to playing his audience like a fiddle and fishing out emotional responses) but in a more hardcore manner. That and the fact that Kai has latched to Damon from the first second of the prologue, it's probably setting up the fact that Damon will need to bring down Kai for the sake of the truth - and probably the first example of hesitance as Damon will probably grow to be "friends" with the guy, having to fight puny emotions he never had before (not particularly romantic, but like. Damon purposefully isolated from peers, so having friends would be odd to him, especially since I think that Kai is getting close to him for self interest). I deem this happening very late, and probably a chapter before Akire kills, as it would be a decent pacing from progression of severity ("friend" social person using the group -> the literal leader of the class)

Jett and Mark are also being set up as foils to each other (or at least the closest thing to that. A really pronounced character dynamic I guess), and the fact that just like Toshiko's mouth Jett off the suit is not shown in the prologue nor any outside material makes it obvious that it'll be a plot point later down the line (if I recall the most popular theory - or maybe mentioned in the prologue, I don't remember - is that he got burned to hell in a car accident mid race?), which makes me think that Jett is not going to be a survivor for the same manner - specially since those two are in the path of having a character arc together and the tragedy of demise needs to be written. Mark is maaaybe going to survive in his stead. Similar to Cassy, Jett reads to me as a comedy character mostly so he's more expendable in that regard. Without mentioning the fact that Mark had the bitchface(tm) look in the train scene, which implies that something is going on with the guy (either referent to the train/the kidnap group, or Mark knows Damon from somewhere. It'd be funny if they were classmates or someshit and Mark couldn't stand Damon's ass back then please p:eg team it would be so funny)

Jean has so many death flags (WHY ARE YOU SWEARING TO PROTECT THE GROUP YOU ARE THE BIG CHARACTER IN A FANGAN YOU'RE NOT SAFE) and I am literally so fucking sad because I actually really like the guy. Like, I don't have any relevant notes of how he's written or implied of him or anything (although I have personal thoughts of his backstory which I included in the fic I made of Damon and the guy), he's a decent character. I just wanted to scream about the fact that I am 80% sure he doesn't survive and I will forever cry about it. Same with Ingrid.

Ulysses is being set up as relevant as a notekeeper (which is really cool!!!! I haven't seen that in a fangan before I don't think), but I sadly do think that anything relevant from his notes might be discovered post-mortem, either relevant to the killing game as a whole or the case that might have him as a victim. My dude is literally falling asleep standing I am deadass so worried for his safety.

I don't have anything remarkable to say about desmond or swan girl (I forgot her name sorry) besides the fact that swan girl is being kinda set up as the "oh the cinnamon roll killed someone", and "the shy girl is actually very dangerous" which I am not particularly mad about even if I deem a bit cliché at this point. I hope Desmond doesn't die tho he is cool.

That's everything. Sorry for taking forever on this shit I am not the greatest writing consistently

[thatonebirdwrites]

Soft asks: 4,11,15,28. ♡ Also, I know you answered 21 in the notes. So if it's okay to ask do you have any tea recommendations? and how do you prefer your tea?

4. Whats your favorite feeling?

A favorite? I'm not sure if I've ever really thought about it that way.

I'd say introspective. Not the introspective where I hyper-analyze everything I do, but the introspective where I let myself ponder the fact that I exist at the same time as all of you. That we are on this Earth together, and we are chatting in this manner, sharing thoughts and dreams and creativity. Where despite all the evils of the world and the horrors, we still find ways to show love to others, to show we care. That even in times of disaster, people are more likely to go out and help one another survive.

And I think of how, despite the horrors we face, many of us persevere, we fight the good fight, and isn't that lovely?

Isn't that the ingredients for hope? Where we plant that hope, tend to it together, and build it up? That even when we fuck up, we can hold one another accountable and do better? Isn't that growth marvelous to experience?

To exist in a time with you, the asker, and be able to hold this conversation is an incredible honor.

I don't know what to call that feeling, but I tear up when I think about it.

Maybe awe of the world and our existence?

11. Do you have a comfort item? Tell us about it!

Dog. I wrote about him here. I'm actually scared of large dogs, but I've had this husky plushie since I was three years old. He always sits by my pillow, regardless of where I am, and always will. The link is to a nonfiction tale detailing his life story.

My other comfort item is books. There's a few that I have read over and over: Tamora Pierce's Circle of Magic series, Diane Duane's Young Wizards series, Nancy Garden's Annie on my Mind, J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, Ryko Aoki's Light from Uncommon Stars, Nnedi Okorafor's Binti trilogy, Madeline L'Engle's A Ring of Endless Light, N.K. Jemisen The City We Became....

I can't choose between these books, hence why it's a list...

15. Comfort food?

Pho or Miso Soup. Seriously, these are the best ever.

Miso is one that is easy to learn how to make, but I have no idea how to make Pho, so I have to go to a local Pho place for it. (We have a large community of Vietnamese and Thai people in my city, so there's a lot of good Pho here.)

21. Infodump on tea for this question! I hope I don't scare you off with this, but I just LOVE talking about teas!!!

For tea recommendations, it depends on what flavor profile the person seeks. I'll cover tea from the typical tea plant, then dive into some of the herbal teas that come from different plants. This will be a massive infodump, so settle in I guess? lol

First we have the tea categories: Pu'er, Black, Oolong, Green, Yellow, and White.

Pu'er

Pu'er is from Yunnan, China, and often called the Emperor's Tea. The tea leaves are parched and then fermented, and thus have a fairly strong taste. It's also expensive. (Seriously, one rolled up ball of this cost 40 dollars, and that is just one teapot!)

If one can score good quality Pu'er, then be sure to have a glass pot, as many styles of it come as a ball that unfurls as it steeps. It's neat.

Black

Black tea is a more oxidized version of tea leaves than oolong, green, yellow, and white. The type of Black tea is named after the region from which its grown and produced.

There's the Chinese Black Teas:

Fuijan (has a bit of honey after taste and a favorite of mine)

Lapsang souchou (strong smoky flavor),

Keenum (has hints of fruity, flowery, or pine-y flavors and one of my favorites)

Yunnan (dark malty flavors),

Yingdehong (has an almost cocao-like aroma and sweet taste),

Red Plum (long, smooth after taste).

Taiwanese Black Teas:

Taicha No. 12 (starts bitter then smooths out to an almost sweet taste)

Taicha No. 18 (hint of cinnamon and mint, not as bitter as 12)

Sun Moon Lake (honey-like tones that's almost minty at times, one of my favorites).

India

Assam (full-bodied and very strong malty tones, and one of the more common teas. When people think of Black tea, it's often Assam they're thinking of.)

Darjeeling (thin-bodied and more floral/fruity tones than Assam. Tho these days it's processed with Black, green, and oolong tea leaves, so finding a pure Black Darjeeling is hard).

Kangra (kind of similar to some of the Taiwanese teas but with more vegetal aromas)

Munnar (brisk and fruity)

Nilgiri (intensely fragrant and one of my favorites)

Nepali Black tea is from Nepal and tastes a bit similar to Darjeeling, but with a stronger finish I think. Another one of my favorites.

Sri Lanka produces the Ceylon tea, which is another very common Black tea. A lot of the cheaper Black teas in stores will be a mixture of Ceylon and Assam. Now the flavor of Ceylon depends on the altitude in which its grown. High altitude as a lighter flavor than low altitude, which is a stronger flavor. Mid altitude is between the two in taste.

Kenya produces a Black Tea with a rich and aromatic profile, and is a favorite of mine.

Korea, Turkey, and Iran also produce Black teas, but I have yet to try them, so I'm not sure of their flavors.

I know everyone has heard of the Earl Grey, Lady Grey, British or Irish Breakfast teas -- but those are actually blends of several different Black teas with specific oils. I still love all of them though.

Oolong

I love me a good oolong tea. It's a semi-oxidized tea.

For Oolong, it's classified more on how it's grown rather than just the region that produces it. So for example, the Fuijain Oolong teas actually have a variety of Oolongs depending on if its grown the Wuyi Mountains or Anxi County, China.

Wuyi Mountains makes the most expensive of all the Oolongs, and are often called Si Da Ming Cong teas, where they are variations of lighter colorations and smooth flavor tone. The two that aren't a Si Da Ming Cong tea is the Rougui and Shui Xian, both of which are very dark teas with rich overtones. I wish they weren't so expensive as I want to try them all! But alas, I am too poor for these teas.

Anxi Oolongs have milky tones, such as the Iron Goddess (a favorite of mine) and Huangjin Gui, which is more fragrant than Iron Goddess. I honestly love all of Anxi's teas.

Phoenix Mountain Teas rarely are seen outside China, but they tend to have flavor profiles that imitate other flowers and fruits. They are so expensive that I've only done a taste test at my local tea shop as I could never afford them. They are also seasonal.

The vast majority of Oolong teas are Taiwanese teas. These are more affordable for one thing, which is likely why people may think of Taiwanese Oolongs when the term is mentioned.

Dong Ding "Frozen Summit" is one of my FAVORITES. Has a light but distinct fragrance and a smooth finish. I just adore this tea.

Dongfang meiren "Oriental Beauty" is another favorite, and it has potent aromatics. It's typically a seasonal tea.

Alishan is seasonal and I've yet to taste it. It's also harder to find as it's only grown at very specific intervals of the year.

Lishan is like Alishan in how its grown, and I'm told Lishan tastes as sweet in tones. I've only ever had a taste test since it's hard to get this one.

Baozhong is the least oxidized Oolong, so it's lighter in tone than most oolongs and have almost a floral aftertaste. It's a favorite of mine too!

Ruan zhi is a lighter oolong that tastes a bit like an orchid tea. I never know what to think of it.

Jin Xuan is often nicknamed the "Milk Oolong" because it tastes so smooth and creamy! I honestly love it.

Black Oolong is a bit of a funny name considering it's not a Black tea since it's produced like an oolong, but it has a strong bite like a Black that some compare to coffee almost. I don't like it.

High Mountain is a family of Oolongs actually (Alishan is part of that family). They all have similar flavor profiles, which is why they are often grouped together I think. The oolongs that are not seasonal, like Alishan, are fairly expensive. From the taste tests I've done, they have a sweeter tone. I really enjoyed them, but sadly, can't afford most of them.

Taiwanese Tieguanyin is a variation of the one from Anxi, China. It's flavor profile differs in that they are less milky but still have smooth finishes. I think their aromatic profile is stronger too.

Four Seasons Oolong is the most well known of the Taiwanese teas as it is cultivated all year long. This is the one that people think of the most when Oolong is mentioned, and the one most likely to be in stores. It's okay. Still flavorful with a smooth finish, but it lacks the sweet profiles of the other teas.

Darjeeling Oolong and Assam Oolongs are made by oxidizing the Darjeeling and/or Assam teas in the same methods of Chinese Oolongs. Darjeeling Oolongs tend toward a more floral finish I think, while Assam Oolongs tend toward a more smokey finish.

A few other countries produce Oolongs as well, such as Vietnam, which has a full-bodied taste with a milky finish.

Oolong teas are also a bit harder to find. But I HIGHLY recommend them. I think they have the most rich flavors of all the teas.

Green

I admit, I am not well-versed in Green Teas, mostly because they tend to be very acidic if oversteeped and lack the smooth finish I love about Oolongs.

The Chinese Green teas range from a more grassy finish to a plum-like flavor to a flavor punch (like the Gunpowder Green tea). I'll drink them if I have no other choice, but I'm not much of a fan. Chinese greens also tend to either be pan-fried or sun-dried, which is what gives them their distinct flavors.

Japanese Green Teas are my favorite Green tea. They are steamed dry. I know these ones the best.

Sencha is has a bit of a grassy finish I think, but it's also the most well known of Japanese green teas.

Genmaicha is my FAVORITE green tea. It's green tea with toasted rice, and has a rich and aromatic flavor.

Bancha is picked after Sencha, and has a very bold, intense flavor. It's considered a "lower grade" tea.

Gyokuro is grown under shade at first, and this gives it a sweeter taste than most of the Japanese Greens. It's one of my favorites!

Hōjicha is a roasted Japanese tea, generally roasted with Kukicha twigs.

Kabusecha is shaded for only half the time of Gyokuro, so I think it tastes like a mix of Gyokuro and Sencha. So if Gyokuro is too strong, then this is a good alternative.

Kukicha is a blend of Sencha and twigs. I don't like it as much.

Matcha is probably the most well known. It's shaded at first like Gyokuro, but during its processing it's ground into a fine powder. It's this powder that gets marketed as the green tea. It's often used for Tea Ceremonies actually, as there is a specific way to steep and pour the tea. I really love matcha tea, but it's hard to find authentic matcha. I'm not sure how to describe the taste though. It's a unique bite to it but a tasty one.

Sincha is often called a 'first plucked' tea due to when it's plucked in the season. It's very expensive, very hard to source outside of Japan, and because of this, I've sadly never been able to try it.

Korean Green Teas are also very popular, but I know very little about them. They are categories as to when they are plucked and how they are prepared. I'm not sure if I've ever tried them to be honest. I tend so much toward Japanese Greens that I have sadly neglected Korean Green.

Vietnamese Green teas are the Green tea you are most likely to encounter in a lot of Asian restaurants. (Well, at least where I live there's a lot of Vietnamese and Thai restaurants, and many of them tend toward either a Japanese Green or a Vietnamese Green.) Vietnamese Greens also include scented Green teas, as in the tea is scented with a flower such as Lotus, Jasmine, or Chrysanthemum.

I admit I absolutely adore Jasmine tea. It's one I often have on stock, and fairly cheap to buy.

Yellow

Sometimes included with Green teas due to the light oxidation, but the difference is they are often "encased" as in sweltered to give the leaves a more yellow tone. China and Korea are the main producers of Yellow, but I've never had a chance to try it mostly due to how difficult it is to find an authentic yellow tea.

White

There isn't an international definition for this. Usually it refers to tea that has little to no processing (as in isn't oxidized hardly at all). it has the lightest flavors of all the tea types, and I cannot stand them. I feel like I'm just drinking faintly scented water. No thank you. Won't even discuss the types because I am so not a fan.

Rooibos

This is a herbal tea grown predominantly in Central and Southern Africa, so as for the taste profile, it depends on which country of origin. The plant is quite different from a typical tea plant, in that it is a bit more reed-like. It's often an earthy taste, but depending on origin can sometimes have a honey-like aftertaste.

I really love it because it pairs well with other flavors such as vanilla, raspberry, etc.

Herbal mixes

There's a lot of flowers and fruits that taste great when brewed! Some of my favorites tend to have mint leaves in the blend OR ginger.

Yaupon

This is a caffeinated plant unique to South-western United States. It has earthy tones and a smooth finish. I absolutely love it, and prefer to buy it directly from the Indigenous people who grow it.

Anyway, now that I infodumped on teas, I will share how I make them.

Black teas: I boil the water at around 200 Degrees Fahrenheit and brew for three to five minutes. I will sometimes add a teaspoon of sugar.

Oolong teas: I heat the water to 190 Degrees Fahrenheit and brew from 1 to five minutes (usually three, but some teas require only a minute of brewing while others can be up to five). I rarely add a sweetner, but if I do, it's a few drops of honey.

Green Teas: this depends on the type of Green. Matcha is a powder so its swirled into the water. Genimatcha is only brewed for 30 seconds to a minute at most. Other greens are brewed from 1 to 3 minutes. I heat the water to 175 Degrees Fahrenheit, though for Genimatcha it's okay to heat up to 190. Honey is the sweetener of choice, but I only do that for the grassier teas. I don't use any sweetener for matcha teas.

Yellow and White teas: I'm not entirely sure the heating temperature or how long to brew them. I do know that for White teas in particular it doesn't seem to matter how long I brew them, the flavor is just lacking and it makes me sad.

Yaupon: I heat water to 190 or 200 degrees Fahrenheit and brew it between 3 to 5 minutes, depending on if I want a stronger or lighter taste that day. I either use sugar or honey as a sweetener.

Herbal Teas: I heat water to 200 or 212 degrees Fahrenheit. Then brew the tea for about five minutes. I add a dollop of honey.

The only time I do NOT brew a herbal tea for five minutes is when there is hibiscus in it. Then it gets brewed one minute at best. In fact, I suggest avoiding hibiscus. That flower takes over the taste profile; it is like drinking a punch to your mouth. Why people keep adding it to herbal blends is beyond me.

Anyway, due to the nuances of how the temperature of the water can affect steeping and taste, I find it crucial to either have a tea-momenter (get it? tea thermometer?) or an electric kettle with multiple options.

The electric kettle I use has a setting for each of the main types of teas. That way I have ultimate control of the brewing method to get the best batch of tea.

Final thoughts on teas:

To be honest, I think this is why some people think they don't like tea. They often have it oversteeped at the wrong temperature which can ruin the drink. (Do Not Trust Starbucks and Cafes that Leave The Tea Bag In. That oversteeps it and ruins the flavor. If they actually knew what they were doing, they'd time that shit and take the tea bag out to avoid oversteeping.)

I try to buy from the source when possible. Otherwise, I try to go local, as in buy from a locally owned tea shop. One of my favorite tea shops to order from is Gong-fu.

28. What are you proudest of?

I want to say my stories, but I also struggle with self-worth and doubt a lot. But if you do like my writing, check out my AO3.

It's art that I find myself proudest of, simply because I'm working in a medium that requires steady hands, and yet I have a hand tremor, so it feels like I conquered a mountain with each piece done. I rarely keep anything I make. I like to give the art to people I care about to bring them a smile, and to remind them that they aren't alone. That someone does care, even if it's little ole me and Quark.

Here are a few of the pieces I've done. One for each category.

For a friend who really liked eagles. (This is only 2.5 inches tall by the way.)

For my Legendfire chosen family, they each got a copy of this:

For a friend who ran a Legend of Zelda campaign:

I think most people here have seen the fanart I've done. I recently posted a piece with Lena and Kara, and if you go to my Tumblr blog, I have one of Korra and Asami. :)

Thanks for asking! And I hope I didn't scare you off with my tea infodump!

[littleravenette]

Welcome to the "i have finished the tged novel and is going insane" club! How do you feel about Kim Suho being Lloyd frontera and Lloyd Frontwra being Kim Suho? Also, how do you feel about the reunion scene at the apartment in the end?

eyyyy thank you thank you, also im gonna answer below read more because there are spoilers

IT'S A LOOP!!! that's what i was screaming when i read that part. i like it but i actually don't have a lot to say about it? it's like a neat detail that i go insane from time to time. i wanna analyze the shit out of it though but honestly i really can't put it into words, so i'll sit out on this one. just know i go insane over og!lloyd's promise to be diligent.

THE REUNION SCENE!!! PROBLABY MY FAVORITE THING OUT OF THE NOVEL!!!! THAT WHOLE CHAPTER HAS MY HEART!!!!

kim suho realizing the fact that all he did for the frontera estate as lloyd was all for nothing? kim suho who thinks it's so unfair for him to go back like it's nothing? kim suho punches a mirror out of pure hurt? kim suho checking iron-blooded knight to see there are no traces of himself? kim suho going to the namsan tower to see the love lock railing and to see that it's still there? kim suho eating kimbap alone in his gosiwon and realizing that he's gonna rot in there for the rest of his live? mwah perfection

and the reunion oh my god. javier crying and saying "i miss you lloyd" my fucking god. brain worms are wiggling because of them my god.

i have some other alternations i wanna make of that scene because i am like That™ but those are secrets~ also planned fics~ so you won't ever see them. aha.

thanks for the ask! goodbye

[jessrising]

clanhart story

ok so i came onto tumlr today to talk about a story i still enjoy from clanheart. i was pretty active in the clanheart alpha because tbh i thought the concept was neat and i wanted to see it get somewhere. i was pretty actively posting threads and giving feedback. then i noticed the dev and owner stopped replying to me. keep in mind the dev replied to EVERY bug report thread made within a few hours during regular working times (aka not overnight). but i noticed mine starting to go under the radar. not be responded to when 5-10 threads would be answered. someone else would post my problem and it'd be acknowledged very quickly. i was like... am i cr*zy? am i analyzing this too much? but then it happened a few more times and i'm like hmm. hmmmmm. that's weird. granted i was also a little clout chaser that responded well to praise also but i'm fairly certain i wasn't overt about it. i just like being given gold stars to show i did good today ok

eventually the site kinda slowly dies because shit keeps happening, the dev leaves, etc etc it's a mess. however true to pet site tumblr there was a drama blog. and there was a post on the drama blog mentioning slash as the owner of the website. if you don't know slash he's made several pet sites over the last 15ish years and they're all kinda notorious for flopping or not delivering on certain things.

anyway that's when it clicked

well at first i was like, no fucking way, i actually like this person, how could it be slash. then i went on whatever the big petsite forum was and found the thread about it. and yup. slash is the owner. this is his idea. i'm over here pissing myself. why? because at some point within a week or two prior to me noticing i was being ignored, someone posted a thread titled "what pet sites do you not like?", paraphrased. and i posted a whole got damn rant about aywas. how much i fucking hated aywas for being a trash site. (i still hate aywas for being a trash site, if it's even alive still.) if u don't know. aywas was slash's biggest success. i straight up talked shit about this man's work to his face and i didn't even fucking realize. and believe me he was very active on the forums and reading every thread posted, because it's not like there was much being posted between like 30-50 people. and i thought to myself well gee that makes sense now and i don't necessarily blame you for ignoring me but i'd still appreciate if you weren't petty to someone actually trying to help you

so yeah i still think about that from time to time. once every 1 to 2 years. and get a good laugh out of it every time

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, Vigilantes 81, Replies Part 2

1) ���Anyway, I bet this would make a really cool animated scene, but we definitely will never get an anime out of this manga, and that makes me both sad and happy.”- I dunno, I think there’s defiantly potential for one- certainly a lot of free space in that timeskip for a filler arc or two to flesh out everybody’s character, you know? 2) “you fuckers are worried about analyzing the lyrics and rhythm of it when she`s about to be turned into a roast?”-They had to dumb it down for those of us who can’t hear the music playing in our heads as we read. 3) “RACHEL I STILL CAN`T BELIEVE ANY OF YOU REALLY THINK THAT POP JUST DISAPPEARED FOR A FEW DAYS AND THEN COME BACK AS A CRAZY VILLAIN AND THAT THERE ISN`T ANY SORT OF SUSPICIOUS THING INVOLVED

THERE`S ANOTHER THREE GUYS IN THIS VERY SAME ROOM WHICH GOT KIDNAPPED AND TURNED INTO RAMPAGING VILLAINS, WHY DON`T ANY OF YOU THINK THE SAME APPLIES TO HER?”- I mean, they probably suspect, but they don’t have any definite proof, you know? Phelps is probably erring on the side of caution here from his prior experiences with trigger, which is why he wants her brought in alive, but that’s not really an outcome discount-endeavour has in mind. For the support group, all they really know is what they’ve seen and experienced, and none of them can really provide evidence that Pop’s been Triggered to be like this without getting samples of her blood and such, which the parasite likely isn’t going to allow. 4) “Pop please, piss off, you literally didn`t go through anything that would justify this behavior, but the story is really set into pushing that the Parasite just let you act in the darkness in your heart”- It does somewhat undercut the transformation, that’s there’s no real inherent ‘darkness’ within Pop to manipulate and mould into a villain, unlike with Tenko and his childhood abuse steadily building up until the breaking point. But on the other hand, that emphasises the ‘tragedy’ aspect more, because whilst Tenko was steadily coaxed into accepting evil by what he thought was choice, Pop is being brute-forced into the role by Nomura and not being given any true say in the matter, yet brainwashed into believing that she wants this outcome. 5) “KOICHI WHAT IS THAT

ALTHOUGH I AM GLAD YOU`RE KEEPING YOUR DAD`S TRADITIONS ALIVE WITH YOUR OWN GRAPPLING HOOK”- At least one practical piece of training Knuckle imparted onto Koichi was how to properly use a grappling hock in action to web-swing, even by example, which is a pretty neat  comparison to be made between Izuku and Koichi now that they both have the powers the gravity defiance (or will do in Izuku’s case whenever he manages to unlock it) and the power of swing. 6) “Oh it is actually his old grappling hook, oh wow. Can`t disagree that is essential to have a backup plan when the first one goes down the hole but

KOICHI YOU HAVEN`T EVEN USED YOUR FUCKING QUIRK”- The grappling hook is actually an extremely fitting tool for Koichi should he master it enough to make it his own, letting him keep in the fray and moving around buildings when his ‘Quirk stamina’ runs out and recharging it, then allowing him to start using it against after the brief ‘rest’ period. 7) “Actually no, he was the most “normal” person there, when you stop to think about it.

Also Puto, you saw him doing that like once, twice at most, what the fuck do you even know?”- He knows that with even a little application of his Quirk applied to this tool, Koichi would be able to pull off parkour stunts that would make Knuckle’s usage of it seem amateur in comparison. 8) “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

HE`S FGOING FOR ITFUCKYEAH THE CRAWLER TOOK TO THE SKIES ONCE AGAIN!”-Maybe not the full-scale rocket blast he pulled off before, but the ‘double jump’ (or triple in this case) is a good in-between measure to catch up to Pop on her own playing field.

9) “FURUHASHI JUST FUCKING DECIDE ALREADY IF SHE`S IN CONTROL OR NOT FOR FUCK`S SAKE”-

Again similar to Tomura, Pop is convinced at first that society will never forgive her for her crimes, or accept the circumstances behind them, so she may as well accept being a villain and let the parasite have its way, but seeing Koichi chasing relentlessly after her and still willing to forgive her despite it all is just enough to make her realise that if he alone will never turn his back on her, then maybe that’s enough reason to actually fight back…which is precisely why Nomura steps in at that moment. I can see something similar happening with Tomura down the line- maybe himself not being actually ‘redeemed’ in the eyes of the public, but getting to choose to stop being the villain and start accepting help from Izuku when he needs it.

10) “but again, I am happy. At least I got my hope in things actually getting better written being renovated. It was far from perfect- in fact it was so far that light would take around a week before it could reach perfect, but we can still make it, this story still can make good use of all its potential so at least the ending is good.”- “Crossing the finish line with a broken leg is still finishing the race” @thelreads

[bonnieura]

honestly.... I dont really know it doesnt. really. look THAT promising like to me at least it just looks like a copy of the second season and i mean. I guess its expected since the trailer's so short and we havent seen anything of it yet? I dont know its weird.. i was never really an advocate for a season 3 anyway because i felt like. It was waayyyy too early? I dont know im still recovering from season 2 at least 😭😭 also I DONT WANT MORE COUPLES!!!!!!!! There are already so many in this show you might as well call the whole cast a polyamory relationship ((which is sick btw shout out to all my polyam folks)) like it just seems redundant at this point. You know what i want? I want an episode of Abraham Lincoln freeing the slaves. Or the Civil rights act of the 1960s how about that. Or about Egyptology. Or ancient France. <---- these were all just a mix of jokes and wishful thinking </33. Also just a prediction but i feel like we might see an RFK cameo this season (also not a prediction just wishful thinking <\33). But honestly i think they should because? if youre reviving the 35th president might as well clone his brother too?? the attorney general????? the senator????? presidential candidate???? the guy who also got shot???? robert f kennedy????????? come on this is just blaaatant favoritism on their end. Actually blatant favoritism from EVERYONE . as much as i (somewhat) understand all the focus and attention towards john f kennedy ((obviously since he was the fucking president of the us) and all the things he did and whatever ((which are honestly not that known to be fair ,, he didnt really live long enough in his presidency to ACTUALLY do anything even if its like 2.5 years. the things he did werent that known or they didnt have TTTHAT strong of an impact IN THE MOMENT that his assassination overshined everything. which id understand too because, believe it or not you may as well call JFK's assassination a black swan event-- because i am a firm believer that JFK one way or another had a cultural and social effect on the USA . in fact you might as well call president kennedy the first '''pop''''' president )) but honestly i just wished people also were. willing to learn about the rest of the kennedys. because they did great things too! and you can very well study the '''kennedy curse'' too i find that super interesting. they were all interesting men and women who are fun to morally analyze (but can never TRULY analyze because we werent there and the vast majority of us arent psychologists , and even if we were its not really. clear. even in video. their personality traits can be glorified or villainized ,we will never TRULY know because its word of mouth and in the grand scheme of things these people are Strangers to us. Thats why i (personally) dont like theorizing on like jfk's sexuality or some shit like that because it doesnt matter to me!!! i dont know this man and im not even AMERICAN for gods sake . so why should it matter . like if its shits and giggles sure i dont give two flying fucks but if we are actually getting heated its like Ummm.. its reallynot that serious? like queer history sure. first gay president or sometjing. of course forgetting JAMES BUCHANAN? but tbf a lot of people think he just didnt like his wife. Whatever hes the closest thing we can get to a fully homosexual president. Like other than that neat piece of trivia what does it matter to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So like i just wish people didnt focus so much on john f. kennedy and maybe focused kn other ghings idk go drink water or go outside you have a bright future ahead of you son . (hypocrite speaking)

CLONE HIGH S3 TRAILER 😭 what do we think yall???

[dendrite-blues]

For a relatively short exchange, this scene is jam packed with characterization for Loki. 

It’s also our first reliable look into what Loki was like before Thor 1. Not as described by others, but first hand and from his own mouth. I think that deserves a closer look, to see what we can learn about Loki and how he thinks.

This scene is significant because it tells us what Loki’s personality is like when he’s not running for his life. It tells us who he was before his trauma and what his core beliefs are underneath those layers of humor and bravado.

Better yet, since he’s alone we can assume that every line in this scene is presumably true, or at least Loki believes it to be true since he has no audience but himself. 

The dialogue centers mostly around the statement “You deserve to be alone, and you always will be.” I’m not going to focus too much on the “alone” motif since I already dedicated an entire meta post to it.

What I think is more interesting about this scene is actually the looping, and the stages Loki goes through in trying to deal with it. There’s a lot of really interesting character traits on display in that progression.

Loop 1: A Warm Bath and Glass of Wine

The first loop entails Sif lecturing Loki about cutting her hair, kicking him in the balls, and storming away. Loki kneels on the floor and he gives us this great line:

“A bad memory prison? How quaint. Some punishment. I remember exactly what I did after that. I went and had a nice, hot bath and a glass of wine, and I never thought about it again. Because it was just a bit of fun.”

So we can take this to be Loki’s default reaction to pain and criticism. When put into an unexpected conflict without any forethought or outside influence, this is what he says/does.

1) Downplay the damage/threat. How quaint. 2) Dispel/soothe the emotion. Nice hot bath. 3) Minimize the impact. Never thought about it again. 4) Deflect responsibility. Just a bit of fun.

Keep those in mind as we move forward, since we’ll be using them to make sense of what else Loki says in this scene.

Loops 2 and 3: Okay, Sif, Hang On

This bit is about Loki realizing just how bad his predicament is.

L: Okay. Okay, Sif. Hang on. S: No, you hear this. You deserve to be alone... And I always will be. L: Alright, I get it. Listen. You are a reconstruction of a past event created by the organization that controls all of time. So you need to trust me and you need to help me escape. Yeah? S: Pathetic. (she kicks him again) L: (winces and groans)

As we all would expect from him, Loki’s first impulse is to try and talk his way out of it. What he says to achieve that goal is pretty revealing though. Because he doesn’t try to ease Sif’s upset by apologizing or explaining or offering to magic her hair back. 

Any of these would have been more likely to save his nads in the given circumstance, right? The present threat is Sif, and she’s mad about what Loki did to her hair. But Loki doesn’t really see that. Rather, he treats her as a means to an end.

“So you need to trust me and you need to help me escape. Yeah?”

To me, that choice reveals something of a blind spot Loki has to the feelings of others. Even if he doesn’t actively like hurting people, he does prioritize their problems below his, and quite shamelessly. And at least on his first impulse, he doesn’t seem to feel much remorse or empathy for them.

Usually in fanon we attribute this callousness to his trauma. He’s learned that no one can be trusted and no one cares, and so he doesn’t allow himself to care for others. 

But between his Loop 1 sentiment of “It was just a bit of fun” for an event which caused real hurt to Sif, and his Loop 2/3 behavior of “you, stop being mad and help ME” I think it’s reasonable to say that selfishness/low empathy are traits Loki possessed pre-trauma.

Loop 4-????: Happens Off Screen

It’s unclear how many times Loki loops while the camera is following Mobius, but the implication is clear that it was been many, many repetitions. Somewhere in this his denial and deflection must break, because we come back to a much humbler, more pleading Loki.

The Final Loop: I Crave Attention

S: You conniving, craven... L: Sif. Sif. S: ...pathetic worm. L: Please, please, no more. Please, I beg you. I'm a horrible person. I get it. I really am. I cut off your hair because I thought it'd be funny. And it's not. Uh... I crave attention... because I'm... a narcissist. And I suppose it's... It's because I'm scared of being alone.

HOOO BOY, so this is quite a tough bit to analyze. There’s a lot of interpretations you could make, and a lot of topics to delve into. For the sake of focus, I’m going to ignore the narcissism question. That one really needs an entire post, and I want to focus on something else here.

That being, Loki’s way of processing conflict/punishment.

I’ve always found it strange how Loki takes such pride in being called a liar and cheat when he simultaneously has this chip on his shoulder about how nobody likes him. 

Those two traits don’t seem to play well together, and I always scratched my head over how they coexist in his character. If he wants people to be nicer to him, maybe he should stop antagonizing them? Yeah?

Well, here we’re finally given a clear reason. Loki craves attention, he hates being alone. So how does he avoid it? Pranks and mischief. 

Fair enough.

But then, if all his pranks lead to this outcome--outrage, retaliation, insult--why doesn’t he ever learn? How is it that after 1000 years of this behavior, he hasn’t found a better way to get the attention he craves? 

Loop 1: Downplay, dispel, minimize, deflect. He accepts zero accountability for the impact of his actions, and doesn’t think at all about how they affect other people. Just a bit of fun. I had a hot bath and a glass of wine, and never thought about it again. 

The only reason he reaches the level of self awareness on display in the Final Loop is because the looping forces him to contemplate his actions and the impulses within him that lead to that behavior.

This is projection on my part, but to me he acts as though this kind of deep reflection is a new thing for him. He sounds like someone sharing a revelation that he’s just had about himself. We’re being shown that Loki is a man of action. He will always move forward if he can, possibly because looking back to so painful that he can’t bring himself to do it.

Circling back around to the pride Loki has for his knavery, let’s suppose that he’s been on this negative reinforcement cycle since childhood. He’s always acted out to get attention, then received retaliation and insults for it, and then pushed the bad feelings out of his mind with creature comforts and mental gymnastics.

What happens over time, when you’re being constantly told that you’re a pain in the ass and no one likes you? Most of us would take it to heart, but Loki doesn’t. He has a big ego, big enough to resist that constant barrage of hate coming at him.

So how does he marry these two conflicting realities? 

He turns it into an identity, the God of Mischief. 

In his head, Loki excuses himself of blame by shifting the culpability to his moniker. It’s not that he’s immature and petty, he’s just a “trickster.” It’s in his nature to cause trouble, so he can’t help it. You wouldn’t dangle a steak in front of a tiger and blame the tiger for striking, would you? And if other people can’t take a “joke” then that’s not his fault, that’s on them for not having a sense of humor. It was just a bit of fun.

Here we see the union of these two halves of Loki, the lonely ice runt and the mischievous scamp. (And a little bit of the original Loki who Thor accused of being incapable of growth!) 

By refusing to think about others, and excusing himself from responsibility, Loki successfully preserves his self worth and insulates himself to most of the negative emotions he experiences.

Pain, embarrassment, and grief aren’t pointless emotions though. They are vital feelings that serve to regulate our behavior, and that push us to conform to the ways of our social circles. Without them, we annoy and upset others. Be annoying for long enough and you will eventually find yourself, well, alone. As Loki is.

Thus “Mischief” is a self-defeating loop, and Loki is just as caught in it as the cell Mobius trapped him in.

In order to be free of both traps, Loki has to stop running. He has to take a deeper look at himself and realize how much he is getting in his own way. The entire scene is one big parallel between these two “loops.” Pretty neat, huh?

Sadly these kinds of thought loops are really difficult to break, they’re buried so deeply in our personalities and habits that we usually don’t notice them until life forces us to address them.

The cell is Loki’s wake up call, and thankfully he does seem to rise to the occasion. He tells Sif quite clearly what his problem is, and he does it with beautiful, painful honesty.

Which is why it’s so fucking awesome for Mobius to acknowledge that, and to finally give Loki a taste of positive attention. 

You don’t deserve to be alone. I believe you can be anything, even something good. Whatever you two did, it was powerful enough to bring this whole place down.

It’s a beautiful scene. Well written, meticulously acted. The clarity of vision in the pacing and shot selection, it’s really something special.

[peachsayshi]

Chapter 13 - Spinning

Tags: Friends with Benefits, Smut, Angst

Summary: You and Gojo are caught up in your feelings and he unintentionally breaks another rule. 

A/N: (18+ / minors and ageless blogs dni) New chapter! This is a bit of a filler chapter but I am working up to some dramatic things (smut and angst coming up!) plus revealing some of the secrets that happened in the timeline 👀 I hope you enjoy it! And as always comments are appreciated ☺️

- - - 

Sitting cross legged on your bedroom floor, you proceeded to fold the fresh laundry into perfectly neat piles. Music enveloped your room, the bass from your speaker bouncing off the walls as you mindlessly hummed along to the track that was playing. This is how you were choosing to unwind after a long work week, by organizing and cleaning up your apartment. There was something completely cathartic about resetting your space and you found yourself having plenty of free time on your hands recently.

Gojo has been exceptionally busy. At first there was an itch when you began seeing less of him, the two of you would plan to get together but that consistently kept getting cancelled. Eventually those plans transitioned to you agreeing on catching up with one another once things settled. Now it seems the only time you managed to hear from your friend was with sporadic phone calls and random text messages that he would send you at weird hours. The itch slowly turned into an ache, that familiar knot in your stomach making its presence known more often than usual.

There was something about the way he managed to fill the silence. You always gave him a hard time about talking your ear off but realised that he actually entertained you with some great conversations.

Even though half the time he was talking about ridiculous subject matters…

You had to hand it to Satoru though, he always spoke with such enthusiasm he would make the concept of paint drying seem fascinating.

He was fascinating.

Eight years of friendship have taught you that but you were smart enough not to feed his ego. Despite the two of you being close, Gojo still never fully let you in. You couldn’t deny that you were intrigued by him, curious to know more about the strongest sorcerer who seemed totally unphased by his own title whenever he was around you. You wanted to know more about how he fought off curses and protected people from the evils that seemed to be invisible in your eyes. Although he consistently evaded your questions, he did slowly open up about other things. You particularly loved the way his face let up when he talked about his students and it made you realise that if there was anything Gojo Satoru had committed himself to, it was his role as an instructor to the next generation of sorcerers.

Still, you usually tried to pry information out of him when the two of you would get lost in deep conversation, noticing the way Gojo would drift in his own thoughts whenever the subject seemed to focus on him.

Clearly there was an extent to which the man loved talking about himself.

There was a point when he spoke where you saw his face grow pensive as he brought up an old friend. He referenced him in passing but the way his mouth fell pained you just as much as it seemed to hurt him. Your question was on the tip of your tongue, eager to learn more about the people within his own circle, but Satoru immediately shifted the conversation onto something else.

That wall, much like his infinity, is impenetrable.

Unfortunately, the dynamics were in his favor. You wished that you could conceal your own emotions as easily around him but it was impossible. Gojo had the capability of knowing exactly how you were thinking and feeling at any given second. His incredible perception was his advantage, that’s why he is able to gauge your reactions so well.

You smiled subconsciously to yourself, goosebumps floating up to your shoulders when you realised how much you wanted your arms wrapped around his neck, your body pressing into his chest while breathing that spicy, sweet cologne…

Stop it.

You paused your action, the jeans on your lap in a mid-fold as you froze in place and your brain instantly turned off those dangerous ideas.  

You swallowed your own emotions, your abdomen tight when you realised that you had just spent the last ten minutes having intimate thoughts about Gojo.

You really shouldn’t but there was something about the way he acts around you that made you the slightest bit curious as to what he was thinking and how he was feeling.

How often did you cross his mind and did he even miss you as much as you did him?

At some point the two of you were going to have to stop this little game you were playing. Even though you weren’t seeking it out at the moment, you do want to settle down eventually with somebody you love. Satoru made it perfectly clear where he stood on relationships. He had no desire to get involved with anybody and the concept of marriage was something he completely rejected.

You recalled having a conversation with him about: 

“Are you really telling me that you’re okay living as a bachelor for the rest of your life?”

“Happily, actually…” Gojo replied, while you both continued your heated debate on the prospects of love.

“But why are you so against it?”

"I have my reasons,” he replied with a shrug.

Satoru always seemed to have a reason for everything but he was not willing to share it with you, leaving you in moments like this to analyze the little things he says to try and put the pieces together yourself.

Truthfully, you don’t want to stop as you found yourself fixated on this new…friends with benefits-ship…

Everything about it felt so good that you couldn’t even remember what things were like before you started hooking up.

How could you go back to just being friends after he’s seen you in your most vulnerable state? How were you supposed to pretend that his hands haven’t unraveled you into submission time and time again? How could you sit next to him without thinking about kissing him for hours on end? How were you supposed to listen to him talk without remembering the moments where he would whisper angel in your ear?

How the hell did you manage to keep your hands off him before this even started?

There was always the unspoken fact that you found each other attractive but since this new dynamic has started the two of you were like magnets whenever you were in close proximity to one another.

Well, you were able to keep the barrier because you were in a happily committed relationship with Haru, you interjected and suddenly you found yourself slumping your shoulders.

Haru was in love with you. He gave you the companionship you needed, he filled the silence with mindless conversations and was the one who held you when you needed him. He was the one to swallow your cries with soft kisses, that made you laugh in hysterics when you needed to boost your mood…

Your heart stopped, realizing that you were seeking out what Haru gave you with Gojo. Your gut wrenching at the idea of you using your friend to fill the emotional gap that Haru left. This ache that knotted your insides meant nothing and you were letting your thoughts confuse you into thinking that you were missing Gojo.

All you needed was to get your distraction back.

After all, Gojo is just your friend.

You had no reason to think anything else could come of this and burned any other thought about Satoru from crossing your mind for the rest of the evening.

If you even thought for a second that you might be falling for him, you would cut ties immediately. You weren’t going to put a strain on your friendship because you’re silly ideals were getting in the way of your agreement.

The two of you were just fucking.

Nothing more, nothing less.

***

Gojo studied the woman before him, acknowledging the fact that she is one of the most stunning individuals he had ever laid his eyes on. She was older than him by ten years but if it wasn’t for the age on her online profile, he wouldn’t have been able to tell.

She was tall, meeting his own towering height, give or take a few inches. Her long, pin straight hair flowed to her hips, accentuating her curves and covering her supple breasts. Her face could strike down any man that looked at her with those deep eyes and he was tempted to nibble on her full lips. Seeing her in person made Gojo realize that her price was high for a reason and totally justifiable.

Anyone would pay extra to fuck a goddess.

Somehow, he wound up here thanks to his own frustrations. His desire for you was driving him wild and his own hands weren’t enough to solve this problem. He still respected the rules that were unbroken and knew that as long as he didn’t go too far with Ami, he was fine. He wasn’t going to have sex with her but that didn’t mean that she couldn’t help him out with his current predicament in other ways.

Besides, you did tell him that he was allowed to see other people. However, that didn’t stop his stomach from twisting at the thought of climbing into bed with someone other than you. He couldn’t quite figure out what this awkward sensation was or why he was bothered by his own decision to meet up with Ami in the first place.

Gojo stripped down to his boxers before sitting on the edge of her satin covered mattress. She was admiring him with amusement, the tempting smile on her lips telling him that she was also enjoying what she was seeing.

“You paid for a full hour but said that you might not be here for that long. Did something urgent come up?” she questioned, her voice sensually low and sending a shiver up Gojo’s spine.

My she is dangerous, he thought to himself, knowing full well how this entire experience would go under different circumstances.

The circumstances being, well, you.

“I don’t plan on sticking around too long...” he explained.

“I’ll have to adjust your pay accordingly then,” she replied, taking a few steps forward until she was standing in front of him.

“I don’t mind paying for the full hour,” Gojo teased with a grin, his free hand moving to touch her silky hair as he rubbed it between his fingers.

She smiled, nearly taking his breath away as she brought her finger to the blindfold covering his eyes.

“I don’t like accepting money for free,” she  stated, tracing her touch down his chiseled jawline. “I bet you’re handsome but I am guessing you don’t plan on taking this thing off to show me what you really look like.”

“Yep,” Gojo smiled as Ami proceeded to slide across her bed next to him. "And you guessed right, I’ve got an exceptionally pretty face.”

“Cocky too,” she purred, “there’s a special way I treat guys like you…”

Gojo hummed, switching his position so he was lying back against her pillows. Ami crawled her body over his lean torso, her hands rubbing up and down his thigh as she glanced in his direction.

“Oh, yeah? I would love to see how...” Gojo insisted, his breath growing heavy as she guided her hand all the way to his mouth.

She traced his bottom lip with her thumb, a devious mask highlighting her stunning features as she spoke, “Be a good boy and lie back while I take care of you…”

He fully caved, allowing this sultry siren to take control by touching and teasing his body however she pleased. Gojo usually enjoyed relinquishing his power every now and then but for whatever reason it was taking some effort for him to fully immerse himself with what was happening. Ami straddled his cock, before proceeding to press her mouth against his. Her lips were working fervently over his own as she deepened the kiss, but the spark that he needed just wasn’t igniting.

When Ami flicked her tongue over his, he would only think about the sensation of yours. The taste of you in his mouth lingered like an addictive poison. One that he craved every single time you crossed his mind. The sound of your moans played in his ear and the sweet way you called out his name when he touched you between your legs filtered his brain. He was only brought back to the reality that it wasn’t you pushing your body against his, when Ami wrapped her fingers around his throat. He tried to erase you and focus on the woman before him but was persistently failing.

She could see that something was off from how he was responding to her caresses. “Are you sure you're up for this tonight, baby?” Ami teased, whispering into his mouth as she snagged his bottom lip between her teeth. “You don’t seem ready for me...”

“Fuck…” Gojo grunted out of frustration, knocking his head back as he pressed his fingers to his temple. “It’s not you, I’m just distracted…”

“What’s on your mind?” she continued, stroking his broad chest lovingly to try and coax him out of the daze he was in.

“Not what...who…” he responded shyly, his cheeks blushing ever so slightly by his admittance.

“I see…” she cooed, “Wife? Girlfriend?”

Gojo scoffed, a comical laugh escaping him as he shook his head.

“Definitely not.”

Ami pressed her lips together, her nail doodling along his upper body with random figures as she continued to question her intriguing client.

“Tell me about her…”

Gojo froze, his hands digging into Ami’s thighs upon hearing her bold question, “she’s just a friend. There’s nothing to say...”

“Is she beautiful?”

“She’s gorgeous,” Gojo exhaled, his words passing his lips faster than he could process what he had just said. Ami tracked her hands down between her legs, stroking his boxers as she massaged his length.

“Tell me what she looks like…”

He described you in detail, from your sinfully sweet lips to the beautiful sound of your laughter and how soft your skin felt in his hands. She continued tricking him into revealing the intimate thoughts that swirled in his mind when he thought about you. She heard the way Gojo’s voice wavered as he swelled between her hands, the tip of his cock poking through his underwear as the pre-cum stained the material of his boxers. Ami pulled the clothing away from his hips, hands returning to grip his member as she continued stroking up and down his shaft.

“Do you think about fucking her with the other women you meet?”

“Yes,” Gojo revealed through gritted teeth, swallowing hard as she played with his tip by circling his thumb over the slit of his cock.

“How often?”

“Too often,” the sorcerer hissed, his hips bucking into her hands.

“I bet you wish you were fucking her right now, don’t you?”

She saw how turned on he is and how easily the thought of you brought him close to his release. Ami spread her legs, adjusting her stance until she brought the tip of his cock to her entrance. Gojo hesitated, knowing that he needed to stop what was about to happen. This wasn’t supposed to go this far. He was only here for a quick hand job or blowjob, but he couldn’t suppress a satisfied moan as she slid down to take in his length.

“F-fuck, wai-...”

“Shh, baby, close your eyes and think of your sweet angel…” Ami whispered in his ear, making Gojo roll his blue irises to the back of his head as he relaxed into her touch.

She didn’t speak after that, fulfilling her promise of taking care of him but also ensuring that his focus was solely on the mental image of you. The sound of her skin bouncing up and down his length took over the entire room. The way Ami stated that you were his was enough to send him over the edge and it didn’t take long until he climaxed at the thought, quickly pulling out of her and releasing hot ropes of cum all over her stomach but imagining that it was you the entire time. She immediately cleaned herself up after they finished, before giving Gojo some privacy and allowing him to get himself together.

After he got dressed, he pulled out his phone to transfer the payment. He doubled the amount he was supposed to give, totally aware that she didn’t reach her own release and was disappointed in himself that he couldn’t pleasure the remarkable temptress before him.

He slipped on his boots, his mind racing as the guilt rushed right through him. He hated that broke another rule, especially since this particular one was a boundary you set for your own comfort. He was angry at himself that he disrespected that and was annoyed for crossing the line in the first place.

What the fuck is wrong with me?, he thought to himself.

“I told you I don’t get paid for doing nothing. I don't accept money like that, not even from spoiled rich boys like you,” Ami stated, her words stung but she spoke in such a gentle tone that didn’t offend the sorcerer. She was leaning against the wall as she appeared before him, her body now covered with just a pink robe.

“You got me off but I did nothing to reciprocate. I tell all the other girls to charge double if that happens.”

“How considerate,” she mused before arching her brow in delight at him, “but for the sake of my own conscience I feel like I need to give you something in return…”

Gojo stood up from his seat, smoothing out his clothes before approaching her slowly. Even though he got what he wanted out of this arrangement, he was feeling worse about himself the longer he stayed in this room.

“How about a piece of advice before you leave and we can call it even?” Ami questioned.

“What is it?” the sorcerer wondered, hearing her feet patter against the carpet as she followed his footsteps to her front door.

She paused when she reached for the handle, before tilting her face and directing her full attention towards his covered eyes.

“Tell your friend how you feel or cut off whatever it is you’re doing. If you don’t tell her then you’re fucked, plain and simple.”

“Look, what happened just now doesn’t mean anything…”

She raised her fingers to his lips, stopping him from even attempting to defend what transpired.

“Don’t take this the wrong way but you’re easy to read. I have had clients come here trying to forget their lovers and those who come to see me because they can’t resist their own primative urges. I see the ones who are lonely, who only visit me for companionship and nothing more. Then there are the ones who are like you, who will bury themselves in any cunt they see just to pretend that they aren’t in love with somebody else…”

Gojo clenched his jaw, squeezing his hands together as the heat rose up to his face.

“You don't know what you're talking about. Besides, wanting to fuck somebody and being in love are two very different things.”

“True, except those two things are tangled up in one person when it comes to you…”

Gojo pressed his lips into a thin line, unsure as to why her accusation made him so irritated.

“Awww, don’t get angry, pretty boy. It’s unbecoming for somebody as handsome as you are…” Ami whispered, before kissing him on the cheek as she said her goodbye. “It’s okay, I promise that your secret is safe with me…”

*** 

CHAPTER 14: JEALOUSY

[pennylanewrites]

I got seven different asks about the College AU so here are some headcanons I have about them! (imagine aiura is in the picture I couldn’t find a good one with all of them)

I definitely didn’t mean to make this so long but I can’t help it I love them all so much<3

~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~

Saiki Kusuo

→ marine!!!biology!!!major!!!!!!!!

→ doesn’t need to study but he still does bc he finds marine life so fascinating

→ read all of his textbooks on the first day bc he was so excited eeeek

→ always wears his germanium ring in class so he can stay hashtag focused

→ him and aiura have to bail toritsuka(didn’t go to college) out of jail once a month

→ speaking of aiura, she somehow has convinced him to go on a date on five different occasions

→ i think after high-school he realised he didn’t mind a kind of casual not-relationship with her

→ lets her hug him to greet him and sometimes he hugs back bc college boys stare a lot and he is just worried for her okay?

→ maybe I’m just projecting bc I kin aiura

→ does not go to parties unless he absolutely has to

→ if he does go to a party he’ll drink something quietly in a corner, just watching the crowd

→ a perv laced Teruhashi’s drink and almost lured her up the stairs so of fucking course Kusuo sprinted to help her, holding her on the way home bc men are drawn to her like bees to honey

→ she didn’t let him live it down ever

→ he rented a studio apartment and keeps it super clean, minimum clutter but enough to look lived in

→ cooks amazing food that Nendo smells from upstairs and next thing you know, they’re all bringing chairs to Kusuo’s apartment and have dinner

→ nothing excuses the fact he makes at least eight servings every time–

→ such a dad to everyone honestly

→ usually studies at a library or teleports back home if there’s a big test

→ mrs. saiki was banned from visiting every two days but she still ends up there somehow

→ not that he minds bc he’s the biggest mama’s boy ever

→ probably graduates a year early

→ doesn’t move away even though he got a job at the aquarium at the other side of the city help–

Kaidou Shun

→ fine arts major you can NOT change my mind

→ doesn’t do good in theoretical subjects but mans can draw some good bowls of fruit

→ wears those stained from the paints t-shirts all the time bc ‘no they’re not dirty it’s art!’

→ him and aren have small designated spaces in their apartment so they can focus on their hobbies/studying

→ his corner at the living room has newspapers on the floor to protect it from the splattering paint, some canvases propped up on the wall and a lot of unfinished projects

→ hides all of them when Nendou comes over

→ can not cook or clean to save his life

→ so he calls his mum to help clean up when Aren is at work

→ got over his 8th grader syndrome at some point

→ still wears red bandages bc he’s edgy

→ volunteers at the neighborhood exhibit centre

→ got asked to showcase his own works for a night and hasn’t shut up about it since

→ goes to yumehara for relationship advice and braids her hair as a thank you

→ couples sleepovers with Yumehara and Teruhashi (yes they’re dating shut up)

→ always makes something for Aren at special occasions (birthdays, anniversaries etc)

→ at first he went back home every saturday bc he missed his family :(

→ Aren helps him get over it though!!!!

Nendou Riki

→ got in on a sports scholarship

→ we already know he couldn’t be accepted in a college otherwise

→ in the chiropractic major bc he wants to be one of those athlete doctors

→ has failed way too many exams and classes

→ Hairo helps him so much though!!!

→ the last one in the group to graduate but somehow gets a job first (excluding Saiki)

→ him and hairo get up at 5 am for jogging or to hit the gym

→ and then he goes and gets noodles bc ‘if noodles aren’t for breakfast why do shops open at 6 am?’

→ hasn’t stepped foot in class in months

→ he gets decent grades after failing the first semester and it’s totally not Saiki’s doing

→ he ends up signing up for way too many clubs

→ attends all of the meetings and has so many friends through them

→ I would be his friend too in college honestly

→ a fraternity wanted to get him bc he’s so good at sports

→ he declined bc he does not understand how fraternities even work

→ is the life of EVERY SINGLE PARTY change my mind you can’t

→ whatever you do don’t imagine nendo surprising his boyfriend with flowers after every practice

→ *dies cutely*

Kuboyasu Aren

→ SOCIOLOGY MAJOR

→ idk I just think he would enjoy Marx’s Capital

→ debate club? hell yeah

→ gets in philosophical conversations at the school yard for HOURS

→ kaidou has to drag him away

→ only shops at thrift stores and makes coffee at home bc “capitalism is not accepted in this household”

→ rides his motorcycle to college even though he lives five minutes away

→ grew his hair out in a mullet again and he looks *chef’s kiss*

→ thought he would be moving too fast if he asked Kaidou to rent an apartment together

→ aiura convinced him it was fine

→ cooks kaidou’s favorite foods every day

→ participates in student rallies, human rights protests etc etc

→ comes home with bruises and kaidou thinks he looks so hot but still yells at him

→ Aren’s favorite place to study is his balcony or at a coffee shop

→ always with kaidou! cute boyfriends who do everything together!!

→ gets so drunk when they go out

→ drunk karaoke with kokomi yes yes yes

Hairo Kineshi

→ did someone say Athletic Training?

→ does every single sport and is amazing at it

→ will cheer for his bf if they have a game at the same time though

→ it was his idea to move in together bc ‘hey we’ve been dating for three years now might as well’

→ volunteers at a nearby elementary as a coach for the kids

→ SO GOOD WITH KIDS

→ wants to be a P.E. Teacher and he’s going to be great at it

→ does everything he can at campus

→ helping random clubs, making posters, cleaning up the hallways, helping the cheer squad with their new routine

→ dances ballet as a hobby even though he’s so good at it that he could be a professional

→ makes everything a competition with Nendo so they never get bored

→ once made everyone get up to jog with them and they ended up sleeping on random benches while Hairo and Nendo were halfway across town

→ will punch someone if he sees them catcalling a girl

→ doesn’t drink at all and eats super healthy

→ designated driver for the group’s outings downtown

Aiura Mikoto

→ THEATER MAJOR

→ is so good at stage acting it’s unreal

→ lands the lead role almost every time

→ is also an amazing singer so she gets great roles in musicals as well

→ doesn’t have to get a job bc she gets all her money from doing readings on campus

→ gets coffees and pastries from all the coffee shops around campus and sits Kusuo down so he can taste them

→ they have a little taste-testing date in his apartment until they decide none of them are as good as the ones at Cafe Mami

→ she totally doesn’t make him teleport there every morning and he totally doesn’t listen to her

→ moved in with chiyo bc they wanted a nice place that they couldn’t afford on their own

→ teruhashi told them to move in with her but they already loved their little place

→ aiura’s bedroom is the most comfortable and cozy room ever

→ their apartment is also the hang out spot for the group bc it’s just so homey

→ hangs out with her theatre group a lot, especially after class

→ they can’t compare to her friends though:(

→ everyone goes to her when they’re worried and she loves it bc she’s the mummy of the group

→ she makes everyone coffee and their comfort food before big exams:)

Yumehara Chiyo

→ psychology major one thousand percent

→ you know how they say that people choose psychology bc they don’t know what major they want?

→ that’s exactly what happened except she fell in love with it immediately

→ such a good student!!!

→ always does her assignments on time and still manages to have a social life

→ teruhashi asked her out at the end of their first semester and that’s the first time chiyo missed a deadline

→ practically lives with teruhashi, insisting it’s just to leave aiura alone

→ she’s just IN LOVE OKAY?????

→ would want to be a sorority girl at first

→ changed her mind when she realized how much shit they all talked

→ her and kaidou drink wine and talk about their relationships and studies

→ she’s so sleep deprived it’s unreal

→ she doesn’t need sleep anymore though

→ coffee is her best friend

→ makes asks Aiura for readings twice a week

→ brings all her psychology friends home and they analyze their textbooks

→ once she got the hang of it, she decided to examine Kusuo

→ she told him he needs actual medical evaluation

→ he almost threw her out the window when she offered some Xanax for his nerves

→ chiyo is a neat freak one hundred percent

→ hates when Aiura throws everything on the floor, but she loves cleaning

→ opens her own office after school

Teruhashi Kokomi

→ PRE-MED

→ lesbian doctor :)

→ just wanted to get away from her perv brother at first

→ she always wanted to be a doctor though, preferably a neurosurgeon

→ she’s super duper smart and hates when she gets good grades bc of her good looks:(

→ makes it her goal to show her professors that she’s more than a beautiful girl

→ hasn’t failed a single exam

→ helps everyone with their studies even though she’s drowning in work

→ drops the perfect girl image at college and decides she should try and aim for something normal

→ gets invited to every single party

→ in a knitting club bc it would get disbanded without one more member

→ knits!!!matching!!!sweaters!!!for all of her friends!!!

→ asked Chiyopipi out while drunk

→ never regretted it though

→ her and aren get so drunk when they go out with the group

→ it’s honestly unreal how much they can drink before passing out

→ has to get carried home

→ wakes up after getting drunk and runs to her class before remembering it’s Sunday

→ her penthouse has the perfect view of the sunset and sunrise and is all she could ask for in life

→ does get lonely so she’s practically living with Chiyo and Aiura

→ once she realized she didn’t like boys she made it her goal to get Saiki and Aiura together

→ people wonder how she has so much time to play matchmaker and volunteer while she’s in premed

→ does her internship at a hospital

→ ends up working there as a neurosurgeon after her Doctorate degree

~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~

[goodnightmemes]

DEXTER SEASON ONE SENTENCE STARTERS

❛ You're mine now, so do exactly as I say. ❜

❛ Open your eyes and look at what you did! ❜

❛ I'm a very neat monster. ❜

❛ Pretty fucking please with cheese on top. ❜

❛ You have a morbid sense of fun. ❜

❛ What happened changed something inside you. ❜

❛ If God is in the details, and if I believed in God, then he's in this room with me. ❜

❛ I can kill a man, dismember his body, and be home in time for "Letterman." But knowing what to say when my girlfriend's feeling insecure...I'm totally lost. ❜

❛ Neither you nor I is in complete control of our destinies. ❜

❛ There are no secrets in life, just hidden truths that lie beneath the surface. ❜

❛ Keeping my face pinched in sorrow for two hours straight is a real chore. ❜

❛ A whole life reduced to ashes. ❜

❛ I can't help it. I kill things. ❜

❛ When you take a man's life, you're not just killing him, you're snuffing out all the things he'll ever become. ❜

❛ Killing must serve a purpose. Otherwise it's murder. ❜

❛ You don't play by the rules. Why should I? ❜

❛ If I had a heart, it might be breaking right now. ❜

❛ I'm all for sending the message, but this ain't the way. ❜

❛ Scream and lose a tongue. ❜

❛ Death isn't the end. It's the beginning of a chain reaction that will catch you if you're not careful. ❜

❛ If I let someone get that close, they'd see who I really am, and I can't let that happen. ❜

❛ I like it here with you. You're the only person people hate more than me. ❜

❛ Sometimes, I'm not sure where _____'s vision of me ends and the real me starts. ❜

❛ Everyone hides who they are at least some of the time. ❜

❛ So I'm neither man nor beast. I'm something new entirely, with my own set of rules. ❜

❛ Stop grinning like a fucking psycho and get back to work. ❜

❛ Freedom's just another word for one more way to get fucked. ❜

❛ Maybe you should just learn the basics before you reinvent the damn wheel. ❜

❛ The problem with acting normal is normal people get into stupid situations like this. ❜

❛ Maybe if I don't blink, my eyes will tear up. ❜

❛ Under normal circumstances, I'd take that as a compliment. ❜

❛ Keeping the truth from the people closest to you is how you'll survive, and how you'll protect them if anything goes wrong. ❜

❛ Every time something goes a little bit right, something like this happens. ❜

❛ God, I feel like I need a shower just looking at this douche bag. ❜

❛ ____ will forgive me eventually. That's who she is - bighearted, kind, nothing like me. ❜

❛ The only sound I hear, the only sound in the entire world...is my heart beating. ❜

❛ I swear, after this case, I'm submitting your ass for psychiatric evaluation. ❜

❛ We hit the motherfucking mother lode. ❜

❛ When did you first notice it? This darkness inside the guy you fell for. ❜

❛ God, this is such a mess, and I've dragged you into it. ❜

❛ Just let me grab my heart up off the fucking floor. ❜

❛ Goddamn, you are fine when you're mad. ❜

❛ Fascination with serial killers is an American pastime. ❜

❛ All the expectations I had, all the promises of greatness, wiped out. ❜

❛ My circle of friends is down to one. ❜

❛ Don't kill anyone who doesn't deserve to die. ❜

❛ I'm empty...but I found a way to make it feel less bottomless. ❜

❛ You pretend the feelings are there for the world, and for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be. ❜

❛ I always prided myself on being an outsider, but now, I feel the need to connect with someone. ❜

❛ Why do bloodstains always look like crustaceans to you? ❜

❛ To some people, death makes perfect sense. Life - now, that's the puzzle. ❜

❛ This is the only way I know how to keep you out of an electric chair. ❜

❛ It feels like... I hate saying this. It sounds so fucking cheesy. It feels like making love. ❜

❛ I do have another motive. It's called a paycheck. ❜

❛ For the first time in a long while, I saw how easy it would be for me to fall back into my old life. ❜

❛ I guess this matters to me. So if I talk about it and it goes away, I'm actually losing something. ❜

❛ There must have been a time in your life when you felt powerless. ❜

❛ I'm gonna tell you something that I've never told anyone before. I'm a serial killer. ❜

❛ You're awake. Shall we analyze your dreams? ❜

❛ Trauma can distort the memory. ❜

❛ Well, thanks for the vote of fucking confidence. ❜

❛ Death is the great unifier. ❜

❛ My fingerprints were all over it. I figured it was prudent to get rid of the evidence. ❜

❛ I know I should be sorry that we met under these circumstances, but truthfully, I think it was the best way to get to know you. ❜

❛ My concrete foundation is turning to shifting sand. ❜

❛ Something finally got to you. I guess you're human after all. ❜

❛ You can talk to me, you know? Just got to open your mouth and move it. ❜

❛ I can always see other people's problems more clearly than my own. ❜

❛ What'd the freak do this time, boil your goldfish? ❜

❛ Thanks, but unless you know an expert in repressed memories… ❜

❛ You are all the family that I have, and I barely know you. ❜

❛ How often does someone get a chance to help catch a bad guy, huh? ❜

❛ You've been a problem. It's time for you to go away. ❜

❛ So, this is doom. I've been the architect of so much of it. It's only fair I should know what all the fuss is all about. ❜

❛ Don't you dare! Not in front of my baby! ❜

❛ Close your eyes, _____. ❜

❛ I've never had much use for the concept of hell, but if hell exists, I'm in it. ❜

❛ It climbed inside me that day, and it's been with me ever since -- My dark passenger.

❛ Don't struggle. That never helps. ❜

❛ I'm compressing your carotid artery, and that is cutting off oxygen to your brain. In about 10 seconds, you'll be unconscious. ❜

❛ Does that make you feel anything? Anything at all? ❜

❛ If I'd have known that this would get you back in the same room with me, I would have gotten stabbed sooner. ❜

❛ I put myself out there. I set myself up to get hurt. ❜

❛ No wonder I felt so disconnected my entire life. If I did have emotions, I'd have to feel...this. ❜

❛ You're not a parent. You don't understand. You do anything to protect your kids. ❜

❛ It's who you know and who you blow. ❜

❛ If you came for an apology, you wasted a tank of gas. ❜

❛ I mean, a real hour, not one of your "let's stretch this out till 2:00 a.m. you might as well stay and have sex" hours. ❜

❛ I don't often make mistakes, but when I do, they haunt me. ❜

❛ So desperate to fall in love. ❜

❛ I've lived in darkness a long time. Over the years, my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. ❜

❛ Surprise, motherfucker. ❜

❛ Spin me a story, asshole. ❜

❛ This is not the way I envisioned our family reunion. ❜

❛ You don't ever have to apologize to me. Not for who you are or anything you do. ❜

❛ Imagine how I felt when I tracked you down and found out you were exactly like me. ❜

❛ You can be yourself with me. Your real, genuine self. ❜

❛ You can't be a killer and a hero. It doesn't work that way! ❜

❛ I was so scared. I was so scared. ❜

❛ What am I, one of your victims now? ❜

❛ You should know this isn't easy for me. ❜

❛ You're the only one I ever wanted to set free. ❜

❛ Sorry. I can't hear any more...'cause you're right. ❜

❛ My devil danced with his demon, and the fiddler's tune isn't over. ❜

❛ I wonder what it would be like for everything inside me that's denied and unknown to be revealed. ❜

❛ This is what it must feel like to walk in full sunlight, my darkness revealed, my shadow self embraced. ❜

[kuroo-shitsurou]

Bestfriend (College!Childe x College!Reader) PART 1

note: hello! i'm going to be making an entire college au series for the genshin characters ehe. this is a pretty lengthy one so i had to cut it into two parts. i hope you enjoy!

word count: 4.4k

"Why can't I get this shit to work?!"

You checked the clock.

3:28 AM.

Great. You had a half-seven morning class with professor Cyrus, and yet, here you were. Baking cookies at 3:28 AM. Although, baking wasn't really the appropriate term for it. Maybe... burning was a better fit.

You weren't a culinary arts major; Far from it, actually. You were in a college course that needed immense analytical and critical thinking skills: Accounting. You loved your course. You were always amazed by how numbers can always add up properly if you analyzed all the transactions properly beforehand. It also gave you more patience to thoroughly understand each problem presented to you so that you'd end up with the right answer in the end.

Which is why you were so dumbfounded when your cookies looked like pieces of charcoal the moment you took them out of the oven.

You followed the recipe, didn't you? Why don't your baked goodies look like those gorgeous gooey chocolate chip cookies on the website?

That was the... fourth batch of cookies you made that night. Frustrated, you carelessly threw the still-hot baking sheet in the sink. You didn't even mind that there were crumbs and burnt cookie residue in your damp sink. Like, there were burnt cookies on your counter, on your dining table, and even on your stovetop. Why be bothered about the sink, right? You could clean it up in the morning, anyway.

"Why am I even doing this?" You sighed, eyeing how there was a bit of black smoke coming out of your oven. You opened a window and fanned it out to prevent the smoke detector from going off. You didn't need more nuances adding to your already dwindling patience.

Taking in the sight of the flour, sugar, and egg-coated workstation you had, you realized that baking just wasn't your forte. If only your boyfriend was interested in receiving his complete financial statements for the year, then maybe you'd have an easier time in thinking of a present for his birthday.

You looked at the calendar.

July 20th.

It was the day of Childe's birthday.

He informed you yesterday that his friends had invited him to go to a party the night of the 20th to celebrate his birthday, and you politely declined his offer for you to be his plus one. Of course, he was disappointed. You could notice by how his cerulean eyes drooped to the floor and how his thin, pink lips pushed themselves into a pout.

"But... You have to be there, _____." He whined, taking your hands in his.

"I know, Childe. But you know that I have to review my presentation for professor An's class. It's going to make or break my term grade." You were disappointed. You wanted to spend the entire day with Childe, maybe cuddled up in bed, eating hot pizza and watching Netflix. However, you knew how much he loved partying and hanging out with his friends- Kaeya, was it? and the other boys in their fraternity. You disapproved of his frat-boy party-going lifestyle, but you didn't want to impose, so you just kept it to yourself.

"But it's my birthday," He reasoned, voice laced with sadness.

"I know, darling. I know. We can still spend the entire afternoon together before you head out to party with your friends... If you want. You're free for the entire day, right?" Your voice faltered a bit, unsure of whether he'd accept your proposal or not.

"Mhm! I'd be more than happy to spend the whole afternoon tomorrow with you, babe. We can hit the amusement park, or maybe watch a movie, or maybe have a picnic, or..."

As Childe continued to ramble on about all the possible plans you could do tomorrow, you couldn't help but smile at him. How his demeanor changed, and how he could never seem to hold a grudge against you even if he was upset. He spoiled you so much and you wanted to let him know that you appreciate him as much as he loves you.

And... Here you were.

You didn't expect baking to be so hard. You thought that following a simple recipe would lead to a great outcome the first time around.

Look how that turned out for you. Your tokens of appreciation for Childe were there. In the sink, on the counter, on the dining table, and on the stovetop. All burnt and inedible.

"Fuck this baking thing, I'll just get Zhongli to help me before lunch." You muttered, taking off your apron and retreating to your couch. You didn't want to sleep in your bed because your clothes were still messy, but you were too tired to clean up (too pissed to even care, to be honest).

And so, you flopped on the couch and set an alarm for 6:00 AM before you drifted off to sleep, dreaming of burnt baking pans and noisy smoke detectors.

-

The annoying sound of your alarm rang in your ears like a never-ending mockery of how your life is going. Why do morning classes exist? Why do alarms exist?

You groggily rubbed your eyes and rolled off the couch, landing on the carpet with a soft "thud". You blindly felt around the coffee table to look for your phone. Upon feeling the silicone texture of your case, you pulled it towards your chest and squinted your eyes as the bright display of the lock screen glared against your eyeballs.

You opened your phone by using the passcode (0720, go ahead and guess what that means) and tapped on the green message icon to open your texts. You then quickly typed out a message for a certain history major.

[ Hey, Zhongli, mind if you help me out before lunch later so I could bake some cookies for Childe? ]

Sent 6:04 AM.

You looked up at the ceiling and waited for a while, already planning out your itinerary for the day. The ding! of your phone was heard, waking you more than you already were.

[ I don't see why not. I have a vacant period right before lunch. I'm off at 9:00 and I'm vacant until noon. Are you free then? ]

Received 6:06 AM.

You couldn't help but grin. Zhongli was so kind. He was Childe's friend since high school, and although you found him somehow... creepy because of the knowledge he possesses (Seriously, was his brain implanted with a computer chip or something?), you still considered him a good friend.

[ Thank you so much! Yeah, I only have one class today anyway. I'll meet you in front of the main building by 9:00. ]

Sent 6:08 AM.

You got up from the carpet and stretched for a bit, wincing when the small burn on your arm stung. You had a few cuts and burns on your hands, fingers, and arms because of how clumsy you were in the kitchen, but it was fine. Who doesn't fuck up from time-to-time

You headed to the kitchen to clean up. You dumped all the burnt biscuits into a large garbage bag, wiped the counters, and put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Most of the mess was already gone and disposed of, and you whispered to yourself that you could probably deep-clean later that evening after reviewing your presentation.

The ding! of your phone brought your attention back, and you smiled at Zhongli's response.

[ I'll see you then, _____. I appreciate you doing all this for Childe. ]

Received 6:15 AM.

You quickly made your way to your bedroom and grabbed different pieces to throw together a decent outfit. You assumed that Childe wouldn't let you go by the time that your little date would begin, so it's best to be prepared.

You hopped in the shower and did your morning routine, making sure to use your favorite body wash, which happened to be Childe's favorite scent. You dried your hair afterwards and threw on the outfit you prepared earlier. You checked your phone.

6:45 AM.

There weren't any new messages from Childe, so you assumed that he was still asleep. After all, it's his day-off from uni. The lucky bastard got to get one whole day without lectures, and the freest day you had still required you to attend one morning lecture.

"I have to rush to McDonald's if I want to make it in time," You whispered, grabbing your bag and slipping your shoes on before rushing out the door.

You wanted to buy Childe a nice breakfast before heading to your own class. So, you sprinted to the McDonald's just a corner away from your dorm and stood in line. You ordered his favorite breakfast meal: A big breakfast deluxe set with hot chocolate, five-piece nuggets, and a side of apple pie. You also ordered a McGriddle for yourself that you could sneakily bite out of in class.

Childe's apartment was right beside the McDonald's you went to, so it wasn't any trouble reaching where he was. You checked your phone again.

7:10 AM.

Crap. Twenty minutes until your lecture with professor Cyrus. Childe still seemed to be asleep, so you decided to leave his breakfast with the receptionist, Verr Goldet. She already knew who you were because of how often Childe invites you to his apartment.

"I'm really sorry to leave this with you, Verr. But I have to get to class in twenty minutes and I think that Childe is still asleep." You said sheepishly, placing the paper bag on her counter and fiddling with the strap of your bag.

"Oh, _____, you act as if I'm a stranger!" She laughed, taking the paper bag and placing it behind her. "Don't worry, I'll keep it warm for him. Would you like to leave a note?"

"Ah, yes please!" You took a piece of paper and a pen from your bag and scribbled a short message for the ginger.

Happy birthday, Childe! Have a hearty breakfast, I got your favorites. I'll see you later for lunch, okay? I love you! ♡

You tried to make your handwriting as neat as possible, and even added a messy doodle of the man himself. Although, it did look more like a potato than the man you were trying to draw.

"How cute you are." Verr sighed, "It must be nice to feel the wonders of youth."

"Thank you so much, Verr! I really have to get going if I want to get to uni in time."

"You're welcome, _____!"

You bid your farewells and headed out of the apartment's lobby, walking towards the shuttle stop nearest to you. You had at least fifteen minutes before professor Cyrus' class. The shuttle was about ten minutes away from uni, and it would take you a little over five minutes to get to his lecture hall. While waiting for the shuttle, you quickly tapped out a message for your boyfriend.

[ I left something with Verr for you downstairs. You better get it as soon as you wake up ♡ ]

Sent 7:15 AM.

The shuttle arrived as soon as you hit send. You showed your ID to the driver and scrambled for a seat, shoving earbuds in your ears to drown out the rest of the world with a bit of music. Fortunately, the shuttle ride was quicker than usual since there were lesser stops for that day. You gave a light bow to the driver before you rushed out of the shuttle doors and bolted to get to your lecture hall.

It was on the third floor of the left wing of the main building. You were desperately trying to catch your breath as you felt a burn rising in your lungs. You wanted to puke because of how hungry and tired you felt so early in the morning, but you brushed it off.

You sprinted down the hallway to professor Cyrus' lecture hall, seeing that nearly all the seats were occupied. There were still a few vacant seats at the back, but you were glad to see your friend, Xingqiu, waving you over from the middle row.

"Thanks for saving me a seat," You thanked your blue-haired friend, fixing your hair and disheveled clothes. You sat down just in time as professor Cyrus walked into the lecture hall and began setting up his laptop to present.

"No worries. I knew you'd be late. It's Childe's birthday today, no? You've been talking about it all week. I already expected that you'd do something for him this morning." He said, not even batting an eyelash as he carefully opened his laptop in front of him.

"That predictable, huh?" You chuckled, placing your own laptop on the table and taking out the McGriddle you shoved in your bag earlier. Professor Cyrus seemed to be tweaking a few things on his presentation, so you decided to use the spare minutes to eat the sandwich you purchased.

You scarfed it down in a few bites, leaving Xingqiu confused and a bit scared. He thought you were going to choke.

"Didn't you have breakfast before you left your dorm?" He asked, marveling at how you managed to eat the McGriddle in- four, maybe five? bites.

"I mean, I bought this," You said, motioning to the crumpled up wrapper in your hand. "It was getting late since I dropped by Childe's apartment to leave him his breakfast."

"How charming of you, _____." Xingqiu chuckled, slipping on his glasses.

"I wonder if he's awake now," You mumbled, loud enough for Xingqiu to hear, but he didn't react to it.

You opened your phone and saw seven messages from your dorky boyfriend.

[ _____ you're gonna make me cry ]

Sent 7:28 AM.

[ Where are you now? Are you already at uni? ]

Sent 7:29 AM.

[ God, I love you so much, _____! You even got me nuggets!! ]

Sent 7:30 AM.

[ I love you sooo much!! You're so cute it's unreal!! Btw, is this supposed to be me?? Do I really look like that??!! ]

Sent 7:31 AM.

[ I'm so lucky to have you, _____. You really are the sweetest!! ]

Sent 7:31 AM.

[ I'll see you later at noon. I'll pick you up at your dorm, okay? ]

Sent 7:32 AM.

[ You must be in class now. Good luck!! I'm already eating. Thank you so much, darling! I love you!! ♡ ]

Sent 7:34 AM.

You couldn't help but smile at how his aura radiated even through the screen of your phone. You clicked on the notification from Instagram and it opened to a video on Childe's story. It was a boomerang of him making a winky face and then showing his meal neatly placed on his table.

There was a caption beside a heart sticker which read:

What a great way to start my birthday. Thanks to my lovely @_____. I love you so much! ♡

A familiar warmth spread throughout your chest and you couldn't help but smile at how sweet he was. It was amazing, really. Childe's words and actions always had such an effect on you, and it didn't even matter how you were the one who did a romantic gesture for him because you were here all blushy and gushy over his sickeningly sweet messages of affection.

You put your phone away as soon as professor Cyrus soon started his lecture on the different trading policies limited by oversea regulations- or something like that.

The lesson itself was interesting, but you couldn't help to nod off and daydream about your wonderfully dorky boyfriend and his beautiful eyes, his cute button nose, his slim cheeks, his pink lips.

Childe sneezed.

-

As soon as the last bell rang, you quickly gathered your things and shoved them in your bag. You nodded a swift goodbye to Xingqiu before running off to the entrance of the main building.

Zhongli messaged you that his lecture ended earlier than expected, and that he was waiting for you by the entrance already.

You saw the brunette sitting on one of the benches, a thick history book in hand and reading glasses firmly sitting on top of his nose. You noticed a few girls just a couple of feet away from him. They were eyeing him up, probably drinking in the sight of this beautifully constructed creature.

You chuckled. It was common for you to be more aware of people fawning over Childe and Zhongli. They were a couple of incredibly hot males, you knew that. You got used to the sight of other people gawking and eye-fucking your boyfriend and his bestfriend that it was just hilarious and amusing at this point.

"Zhong!" You called, earning the attention of both Zhongli and the group of girls.

"Ah, _____. Glad you're finally here." He closed his book and tucked it away in his satchel (This man owned a satchel) before he stood up to greet you.

"Were you waiting long? Sorry." You said sheepishly.

"No, not at all. I was enthralled by this one chapter on the Ming Dynasty and their more underrated feats. History never fails to amuse me." Zhongli replied, a glint sparkling in his amber eyes.

"Hey, um," You inched yourself closer to him, "Mind if we go on ahead? Some of your fangirls are scaring the hell out of me." From the corner of your eye, you could see how they were drilling holes at your head from staring too hard. You could've sworn one girl was even holding her phone up, as if taking a photo.

"What?" The taller man whipped around to look at the girls and they scurried off upon seeing the intimidating glare in his eyes.

"You and Childe really attract attention everywhere you go, don't you?" You chuckled, walking towards the shuttle station.

"Childe, certainly. He, along with his... fraternity brothers do attract quite the crowd whenever they are together. As for myself, I doubt it. I'm more of the silent-type compared to him, anyway."

"Are you kidding me?" You bit your tongue to hold back the thought.

"I see."

"Those girls look familiar, though." He mentioned.

"Oh? Maybe history majors as well?"

"_____, if they were history majors, I would've at least recognized their faces more clearly. I feel like I've seen them somewhere."

"Ah, my bad. You and your eerily accurate memory." You teased, climbing onto the shuttle and sitting on one of the empty seats.

"It is not eerie, thank you very much." He retorted with a snarky tone, joining you on the seat.

"Of course it isn't. You remember what I said to Childe when we were watching that one movie Rex Lapis: Revenge of the Fallen?"

"Indeed I do. You said, "Rex Lapis would be hot if he was a human, don't you think?" and Childe replied, "Yeah, but I could probably beat him up. I'd be way hotter than him." It was comedy, really. Rex Lapis, although a fictional figure, has far more capabilities than Childe could even dream of."

"Do you... not see the eerie part of that?"

"What? That Childe thinks he can beat up an actual Archon?"

"No... Zhongli, we watched that movie three years ago."

"Your point is?"

"...I can't even remember what I had for lunch yesterday."

"Childe bought you some sushi."

"See what I mean?!"

"That means you have a poor memory, _____." Zhongli laughed at your face curling into a frown. "Anyway, while you were entertaining me with your banter, I recalled why those girls are so familiar."

"Do tell."

"They're part of Childe's posse."

You could've sworn your heart leapt to your throat. You knew that your boyfriend was pretty much sculpted by the Archons themselves, but, really? a fucking posse?

Zhongli noticed how the lump in your throat bobbed, and he decided that it was better to calmly explain how and why he knew about it.

"See, it was during the first year of university. Childe started hanging around Kaeya and his other fraternity brothers. There was this one occasion where Childe was nearly black-out drunk in a bar. If I didn't see on Kaeya's Instagram story, I wouldn't have known," You noticed how Zhongli's face visibly darkened, "These girls were hanging off him like koalas to a strong tree branch. It was unsightly."

"I... see."

"Although he was about to pass out, he pushed them away. Charming, really. He was already crazy about you even during the first year of uni. Even though you weren't together yet, he didn't want to "cheat" on you by entertaining other females." A soft smile made its way to your face upon hearing Zhongli's confession about how your boyfriend felt about you.

"I'm determined to make these cookies a success," You said determinedly.

"Glad to hear it. It seems we're already at your dormitory. You still have enough ingredients for the cookies, right? I assume you failed quite a few times yesterday."

"How did you even know?"

Zhongli once again laughed as you stepped off the shuttle, "Lucky guess."

Unbeknownst to the two of you, three figures were following you the moment you left the campus.

-

"_____ is so sweet! They got my favorite breakfast this morning." Childe mindlessly gushed over his significant other.

Diluc wasn't really one to listen to other people ramble on and on about feelings and love and romance, but it was his friend's birthday. He'd let it slide.

"Bro, that's just gross," Kaeya spat, taking a chug of his beer.

"Oh, shut up, Kaeya. Just because you don't plan on committing to anyone doesn't mean the people around you are obligated to do so as well." Diluc rebutted, without even looking up from his journal.

"You're in college. It's the time when you're supposed to have a shit ton of flings, no commitment. And yet you're here being loyal to _____?" Kaeya glared at Diluc, but the redhead only flipped him off.

"I don't see the problem with that." Childe spoke up, toying with the bracelet on his wrist. It was a gift from you during your first anniversary. You said you made it yourself, and although Childe could purchase all the expensive jewelry and accessories he wanted, this particular bracelet meant more to him than anything.

"The problem is _____'s going to hold you back!" Childe knew that Kaeya was half-drunk and it was still before noon, so he didn't really take his words seriously. "They aren't going to the party later, right?"

"No, unfortunately. They have to review a presentation for professor An's class."

"Hah! Review my ass. If I knew any better, that little toy of yours is just messing around with some other dude."

"Watch yourself." Childe stood up from his seat. He knew that Kaeya disapproved of their relationship because it wasn't really a "frat-boy" thing, but he didn't care about that. He cared about you more than a stupid reputation, and definitely more than a stupid lifestyle of partying, getting high, and getting drunk.

"Back up, softie. _____'s pussyness rubbing of on 'ya?" Kaeya's words were slurred, but Childe knew that there was malicious intent behind them.

"Look, I don't care about what you say about me. Call me a softie? Call me a pussy? I don't really give a shit. But the moment you start shitting on my _____? Don't even consider that I'd just stand around and let them be slandered, you piece of fuck." Childe was a few centimeters taller than Kaeya, and he always used that to his advantage when he wanted Kaeya to understand his point.

"Whatever you fucking say. It's your birthday, I'm not gonna fight with you on your birthday." Kaeya lightly pushed Childe away from him before downing the rest of the beer can in his hand.

"Don't mind him," Diluc spoke, staring into Childe's eyes. "He never thinks straight, whether drunk or sober."

"Yeah, I kinda got the message." The ginger chuckled, watching as Kaeya nearly tripped over his own feet while walking towards the case of beer supposedly for the party tonight.

"I'm glad that you and _____ are still getting along. It's refreshing to see normal people once in a while."

"Well, when you put it that way." Childe could only laugh.

"Where's the tall brunette at? Isn't he always with you?"

"Ah, you mean Zhongli? I don't know, actually. He has a lecture this morning and I wanted to meet him for a light meal before lunch, but he isn't answering my texts."

"I see."

As if on cue, Childe's phone emitted a soft ding!

He typed in his password and the screen faded into a photo of you. You were wearing one of his hoodies (it was way too big on you) and he could've fainted because of how absolutely adorable you looked.

He received a few Instagram DMs from Ellin. Ellin was a member of their posse. Childe would rather refer to them as "fraternity friends", but she insisted otherwise.

[ You're seriously praising _____ for being a good partner? Poor you, dear. ]

Received 9:41 AM.

He frowned.

[ What are you talking about? Mind your business. ]

Sent 9:42 AM.

[ Oh? It's not my business, sure. But you might wanna see this. ]

Received 9:44 AM.

[ 3 Images Attached ]

Received 9:44 AM.

Childe's eyes widened. Ellin sent three photos.

The first one was a photo of you and Zhongli standing awfully close to each other in front of the university's main building.

The second one was of you and Zhongli sitting beside each other in the shuttle.

The last one was... you and Zhongli entering your dormitory building.

"What the..."

He checked his messages to see if either you or Zhongli texted him about the ordeal. However, he was only greeted by messages wishing him a happy birthday from some of his family and friends back in their hometown. No messages from Zhongli, and no new ones from you.

"What the hell?"

He quickly typed out a message for his bestfriend. He didn't jump to conclusions; He trusted both of you, but what was this feeling in his gut? It felt icky, gross, and disgusting.

[ Where are you rn? Answer me. ]

Sent 9:46 AM.

His foot tapped against the floor at a rapid pace. Diluc wanted to question him, but the worried look on the ginger's face made him bite his tongue.

Childe wasn't the type of person to jump to conclusions, nor was he the type of person to get upset immediately over trivial things. But upon receiving an irksome reply from the amber-eyed bestfriend he knew and love, his blood began to boil.

[ None of your business. ]

Received 10:05 AM.

[terrm9]

you give it to me anyway (Tatum X Lina)

Set immediately after the ending of chapter 13.

Update (after the events of chapter 14): in this little series, Tatum does not go back to the army but is relocated to work as a bodyguard for some random politician in Rutherland. That's why this goodbye of theirs is not as heartbreaking as it was canonically. Therefore, shall the two other parts happen, they will not follow canon because I have them planned and I refuse to make new plans

WC: 3 600; rating: M (mature)

Warnings: swearing, making out, mentions of smoking, alcohol consumption, adult situations; hurt/comfort

Author’s note: my first Foreign Affair fic - it was so much fun to write I forgot about my two idiot doctors for a while. This is supposed to be part 1 of three-parts mini series, but 1) I have no idea when those two other parts will happen and 2) if it goes by plan, they will be all completely okay to read as stand-alones so hopefully this will be enjoyable no matter what.

She could feel it. She could swear she could; she could pinpoint the moment her mind stopped working and all the energy normally divided between the gears in her head and the beating of her heart suddenly focused solely on the latter.

Her mind stopped working and her heart drummed against her ribcage twice as hard.

Lina doesn’t remember much after that, after bursting through the door and demanding an answer (“Why the fuck would you take Tatum off the team?”), her memories a messy blur of shouting (hers), a voice trying to calm her down (Demarco’s) and the one that mattered in the end.

“Lina,” Tatum put his hand on her shoulder, his face stoic – but she knew better, she could see his eyes, eyes pained, eyes pleading. “Get inside. I will be with you in a moment.”

“But-“ she opened her mouth to protest, only to be stopped by Tatum’s gentle squeeze and eyes more pleading.

Just get in and wait for me, he whispered and that’s how she has gotten here.

Pacing back and forth in her room, biting her lip so hard she feels blood. Her brain is working again, thinking and analyzing (overthinking, overanalyzing) and she needs a cigarette, a shot of vodka, she needs to punch something (someone), needs to just do something.

The tremor in her hands violent and she clenches them in fists, telling herself that it’s anger, a rage running through her whole body, but there is that traitorous voice that whispers – no, screams – that she knows this is more than that, that it’s fear.

A lump in her throat formed and unmoving and Lina swallows once, twice, keeps swallowing until she cannot catch her breath but the fucking lump is still there and tears are threatening to fall from her eyes and-

No.

Line Monroe does not cry. She has learnt not to cry, hasn’t cried since-

She does not cry.

Tries to take a deep breath but it’s completely useless and Lina knows how she feels. Like a crystal vase in the middle of a big wooden table, beautiful and shiny and protected at all costs – all of it worth nothing when an earthquake comes. This is her personal earthquake, every second pushing her closer to the edge, sobs threatening to cut her open, to leave her mouth and never stop and she wonders if falling over the edge and just break into million pieces would be such a terrible thing.

She could beg. She would beg, if only that would help. She only begged once in her life.

(Lina has never been the picture of a perfect child – well, definitely not after Tatum left. No, she lived for making her mother’s political career an actual hell, she laughed into her face in the middle of a scolding. The First Daughter of Rutherland couldn’t give less fucks about what her mother wants, needs, asks for. Nobody ever asked what she wanted, needed, asked for.)

She only begged once in her life – she was seven and desperately wanted a puppy. (She could do it again at the age of twenty-two and desperately wanting her Tatum.)

Mom, I promise I’ll be good. (Mom, I promise I’ll be good.)

I will take care of him. (He will take care of me.)

I won’t eat sweets. (I won’t smoke. Won’t get drunk.)

I will do all of my homeworks. (I will go on as many fake dates as you want.)

I won’t watch TV. (I won’t cause another scandal.)

I will clean the whole house! (I will attend all the summits, I will, I will.)

Mom, please. (Mom, please.)

She never got the puppy. (She knows that no matter how much she begs, she will not get to keep Tatum, either.)

An earthquake and she is starting to accept her fate, awaiting the final shake, the strongest vibration that will make her fall from the table and shatter.

There is a soft knock on the door and she feels it coming, the magnitude strong enough to stir fear inside of people.

Tatum walks in, closing the door behind him carefully – and the Richter scale does not have enough values to describe how dangerous this earthquake has gotten.

“Lina,” he whispers softly, stretching his arms towards her and that’s it.

The crystal vase falls to the ground (into Tatum’s arms) and the shards cut skin (and the sobs cut Lina open).

It is easy after the first one – like the blood spilling out of the cut, like a plug removed and water pouring, flooding, destroying, the sobs leave her mouth and her shoulders shake and Lina hasn’t done this in four years, hasn’t shed a tear for so long but Tatum’s arms encircle her, strong and firm and safe and no, breaking into million pieces is not such a terrible thing after all.

She thinks she screams in one moment and Tatum only hugs her tighter, slowly dropping to the soft carpet, pulling Lina with him, his arms never (never, never) leaving her shivering body – and she holds onto him tighter than she holds onto her own life (own dignity, own worth, none of it more important that holding onto Tatum), hands still clenched in fists. Lina’s grip on his perfect white shirt must be uncomfortable and she is sure she is ruining the fabric, if not with her nails then definitely with her mascara-tinted tears.

For a long, long moment they stay like that – Tatum kneeling on the floor and Lina curled up against his chest, sobs wrecking her body and his hands drawing soothing circles on her back.

“We will make this work, Lina,” he whispers when the room falls into silence, the only memory of Lina’s ignominious breakdown being Tatum’s soaked shirt and her throbbing temples. “You are strong and the other bodyguards are capable. Demarco is a good agent, they will keep you safe.”

“I don’t care about being safe,” she scoffs. “All my life, everyone has only cared about me being safe. You are… You have always been the only one to care about how I am feeling. If I am happy. And now you are leaving again.”

Tatum pulls back a little – not enough to break the contact of his hands on her shoulders, just enough to look her into eyes – and with a voice that is quiet but firm, leaving no room for doubts, he says: “I am not leaving you, Lina. I won’t be returning to army, okay? I am going back to Rutherland tomorrow and only then I will be informed about this move – maybe I am only being taken off for some time. This is not the same as the last time.”

“I cannot lose you again,” she whispers, not meeting his eyes. As if she was not sure about her decision to share such moment of vulnerability with him.

“You will not. Who is my toughest galyetas here, hm?”

Lina looks up at him at that, the initial shock from hearing the old nickname (the one she hasn’t heard in years, the one she has missed for years) soon replace by her smile, however faint and it’s like the sun peeked into the room all at once.

(Eyes puffy and red, cheeks wet from tears and lips swollen from biting and has she always been this beautiful?, Tatum wonders.)

“I am,” she chuckles before Tatum demands the answer and encouraged by the moment of clarity that has settled over them, she manages to stand up and open the closet.

Impulsive would be a great word to describe Lina. Unpredictable. Fierce. Mostly fierce, Tatum thinks and it should not be a surprise for him when Lina takes off her skinny jeans and light blue blouse, carelessly throwing them over the chair and it should not be a surprise when she follows the motion to take her bra off, no, it should not be a surprise for him and yet-

The heat in his cheeks is inappropriate, for God’s sake, and he should – he must – tear his gaze off her naked back, but he cannot (and how many nights he wished he was granted this? how many days?). He stares and stares as she ruffles through the closet and it’s his time to clench his hands into fists to stop himself from reaching out to her.

“I should… I will leave you to change,” he finds his voice and it’s low and husky and inappropriate, but Lina just smirks as she turns slightly to face him better and he needs to avert his gaze, he must not stare at the curve of her breasts, so perfect above her ribcage.

“You have already seen me naked,” the smirk widens. “And besides, you should get out of that wet shirt too.”

Getting out of his clothes does not sound like a good idea to him, not in the slightest, but it gives him a reason to look down and unbutton his shirt – and that motion gives him some time to take a deep breath and respond.

“Yes, I have seen you naked. When we were five and swimming in a lake.”

He can swear he heard Lina mutter ‘time to check how much has changed in those fifteen years’, but Tatum doesn’t trust himself enough to engage in that conversation and so he carefully slips out of his jacket and the stained shirt and switches his radio off before putting everything in a neat stack on the top of a drawer.

Tatum sits down again after that, his back leaned against Lina’s bed and soon she joins him, soft grey cotton shorts and tank top on. She mirrors his position and they share a private smile, because it is their position, the one everyone knows them by – knee to knee, shoulder to shoulder, (heart to heart), Tatum’s arm wrapped around Lina’s shoulders and her hand resting on his right knee. It is always this position for them and Lina can’t count how many photos they have together, where they sit exactly like this.

“Are we going to be okay?” she whispers, almost not daring to break the comfort they bring out of each other. But she needs to. She needs to know that they are going to be okay.

“Of course,” he nudges her knee with his own softly and smiles down at her. For a moment, she pretends she does not see the panic swirling in his eyes, giving away that he does not know, that there is no of course for them.

She nods, her fingers drawing mindless patterns on his leg and she is sure they are not that mindless, she knows that in a language only known to them she is writing her confessions, she is writing a love letter.

More mindless patterns and Lina feels Tatum’s eyes on her, caring and loving and worried, definitely worried, but she doesn’t look up at him because the emotions his gaze can stir inside of her are enough to send her into another breakdown.

“Do you remember Scott Diaz’s party?” she asks into the silence.

Tatum chuckles loudly and squeezes the shoulder he is hugging. “Of course.”

“It was the first time I got drunk,” Lina says as if it was an explanation itself, when in reality this conversation was not making any sense so far.

Scott’s party was the one which only Lina attended when she was sixteen – Tatum had to stay home to help his father with something (it was not important to Lina back then) and Lina didn’t mind that much because she liked Scott and she believed there were higher chances of her charming him without Tatum’s alert gaze directed at her.

“Yes, I remember,” Tatum decides to play this game that makes no sense with her. “It was my toilet you threw up into that night.”

“I remember getting drunk with Scott and his stupid friends and realizing that they were a group of idiots, with Scott being the greatest idiot of them all. But I was drunk and he was my first crush and I just wanted him to like me and I was ready to do anything.”

“Yes,” Tatum says again, this time much more quietly, though. “I remember your phone call at 2 AM. You were crying and asked me to come and rescue you because you are drunk and nauseous and Scott is a dick but you might sleep with him if I don’t come.”

There is a long pause and Lina thinks he might not continue. Even worse, she fears he might ask why she is bringing the story up now.

To her utmost surprise, Tatum laughs and continues: “I stole my dad’s car so that I could get you out of there faster. You threw up in the backseat and my dad almost killed me because he was supposed to take your mother to the airport the next morning.”

Lina laughs with him shortly and the room falls into silence once again.

Once again, Lina makes sure to interrupt the comfort it brings.

“And then you left and there was nobody to rescue me anymore.”

She is not sure why she said that. No, Lina does not want to tell Tatum about those years he has been away. She is scared (and she has never been that scared in her whole damn life), scared to share the failures and slips of her past, scared that he would get up and leave-

(Because that’s what he should do)

-scared that he would see what she sees every time she looks in the mirror and Lina does not care about the opinion of the others, she does not care if someone sees her as someone worthy or not, as long as that someone is not Tatum.

Deep down, she knows he would not, he will not leave, she knows Tatum - the same Tatum that strokes her upper arm now, giving her the space to sort her thoughts – will stay with her even in the moments she does not want to stay with herself.

And there is one fear that is bigger, greater, more terrible than the fear of being left – fear of hurting him. The idea of her past being the reason of his hurt, being the thing that puts the haunted look into his eyes, makes her want to throw up.

She will need to tell him eventually because if somebody deserves her honesty, it’s Tatum Mendoza, her best friend, her savior, her Tatum.

Eventually does not mean now.

Tatum wishes Lina could say something, anything, he wants her to share her demons with him and he almost asks her to tell him everything but before he can do so, she turns abruptly and looks at him, her eyes no longer puffy or red – glossy and bright and beautiful now and she doesn’t say a word.

She just looks at him like he is the only thing in the whole world worth looking at.

"It's your eyes," she says quietly, reaching to cup his stubbled cheek with her left hand.

"My eyes?" Tatum asks, surprised by the sudden statement.

Lina nods, tracing his left eyebrow with her finger before moving to stroke the skin under his eyes and finally reaching the bridge of his nose.

"There's no one else's eyes that could see into me," she whispers and her finger traces circles around his right eye now, soothing the wrinkles - reminders of their earlier laugh.

(She doesn't know those wrinkles are hers; nobody makes him laugh like she does)

Her gaze doesn't leave those eyes, not for a second and and the intensity she looks at him with is far more intimate than her naked form, bare torso and soft skin she shared with him moments ago.

Tatum is sure he must be blushing.

It’s the moment her thumb traces his lower lip when they snap.

The atmosphere of fear and uncertainty and mutual understanding so deep it ignites further fear changing into the one of passion and need and fire, fire, fire, burning inside and outside, the moment their lips meet.

He has kissed many girls and he knows Lina has kissed many people too and fuck, they even kissed each other before but this kiss is different, filled with more than just years of friendship (years of love) – filled with years of separation, years of longing, years of pain.

They kiss as if the pressure of their tongues against each other’s could be their private painkiller.

A moment later they are on the bed and Lina is not sure how they got there, she can’t remember they mouths parting but it must be so, because she is laying on her back, her hands firmly against Tatum’s shoulder blades to pull him closer and it still feels like he is not close enough, one of his hands next to her head and the other tangled in her hair, pulling on them and massaging her scalp all at once as he kisses her the way she has never been kissed before.

Lina’s hand moves from his upper back to his shoulder, caressing the old scar there and moves to his chest and his stomach and she feels him growl against the skin of her neck at the touch, the vibrations sending shivers over her whole body; she reaches his waistband and her finger fumble on the button of his trousers as he kisses her collarbone.

His fingers circle her wrist suddenly and he moves her hand away from him, gently (as he always is with her, gentle).

“You don’t want-?” she doesn’t know what to say. Me? This? Us?

“I want everything with you, Lina,” he sighs and it’s almost painful sound. “But I cannot take an advantage of this situation. You are – we both are – worried about your future, exhausted and uncertain and I don’t want our first time to happen under such circumstances. You deserve much better.”

There is a part of her that wants to cry again. Sob again and punch someone, because of course he is right.

(It is every single part of her, actually. Every single part wants to cry and sob and punch)

He is right, as he always is. He knows what she needs even when she doesn't know it herself – he always had known. Five years apart did nothing to change that.

Lina traces the lines of Tatum naked torso with her eyes and perhaps it should scare her how familiar it feels. She knows his body, every (almost every. Almost, she reminds herself) scar and every freckle, his flexed muscles and long fingers, she knows his body, even though she grew up getting to know a body of a boy and now her fingers are caressing a body of a man.

She hates how vulnerable she feels and how much she wants to share everything with him. But that's now what she has taught herself, no.

And so, despite the disgusting feeling of tension in her throat, she smirks and asks: "Why do you care about the first time so much?"

Tatum chuckles and makes a show of rolling his eyes (not leaving his position above her, not even now), biting his lower lip deep in his thoughts.

When he looks down at her again, however, his gaze is tender, too tender and intense and Lina has to avert her eyes because surely he can see into her, he can see all that she has done, all that she has caused while he was gone, not there to save her, to take care of her.

"It's not the first time I care about," he speaks softly and any hints of amusement are gone. "It's the first time with you."                                                                    

She almost asks him about his first time – she knows it must have happened after he left. There is the part that is Tatum’s childhood best friend and is simply curious. They shared everything with each other – first crush and first kiss and first platonic love, she knew his and he knew hers. Of course she is curious about his first sex or how many firsts there were, how many people that got to know him in the way she has never gotten.

There is another part of her, a bigger one, she realizes with dread, that hopes he would tell her that he has lost count, that his five years in army were filled with infinite excesses and that he would rather not talk about it – maybe then her deeds would be justified.

She cannot ask him because it’s Tatum and he would ask back.

What would she tell him?

She laughs to herself, a sardonic sound lacking any hint of joy it is supposed to carry.

I have no idea. I am not sure about the first nor about the last time. I cannot count them, I will never be able to count them because I do not remember.

I do not remember.

“Lina,” he whispers, still hovering above her. “Don’t do that. Stay here with me.”

“I-“ she opens her mouth – for what, she doesn’t know. To explain or to apologize?

“We do not have to talk, mahal. We can just lay next to each other until the morning comes, alright?”

Tatum lays down next to her and wraps his arms around her without further questions and as she puts her head on his chest and listens to the steady beat of his heart, she feels calm for the first time in weeks.

“Alright,” she whispers back.

They lay next to each other through the night, listening to each other’s hearts and breathing and Lina thinks that even though they don’t talk, there are novels of conversations exchanged between them that night, written in the softest of sounds they make.

  *** *** ***

Ever since finding out that Tatum is Filipino, I felt this desire in my heart to throw some (nick)names for Lina in his native language here and for him to use them. I can’t see him calling her darling on daily basis, but I can see him muttering it in the language he grew up with when the moment asks for it

galyetas = cookie, biscuit (Tatum’s nickname for Lina since forever)

mahal = darling, sweetheart

 I am not exactly happy with how the ending turned out but it’s not going to get better so you have to suffer through it with me

Thank you for reading!

[sweetcheol]

college boyfriend!wonwoo

—genre: fluff

—au: college

—pairing: jeon wonwoo x reader

—song to listen to while reading: falling for u — seventeen

—word count: 2.9k words

—warning(s): mentions of sex, a bit of cursing. also i feel like this is a bit of a mess but so am i when thinking of wonu so

never, in your two years of university, had you actually met your best friend’s roommate

his name was wonwoo, and according to mingyu, he spent most of his time either in class or working as a waiter at a diner downtown

the only times he seemed to be home was either late at night, after you had either gone home or passed out on mingyu’s bed while he slept on the couch, or early in the morning, after you had gone to your own classes

which was weird considering how most of your days were either spent in class or in mingyu’s flat, as it was bigger and way more comfortable than your tiny dorm

you knew he existed, of course, because sometimes you’d come to find a hoodie of his lying on the couch

or a book neatly placed on the coffee table with a bookmark stuck somewhere past the middle

sometimes you’d even find a cup of half-drank coffee resting on the sink, a rarity considering just how neat mingyu’s roommate seemed to be

you’d seen him in pictures

he would be tagged in some instagram story drunk mingyu had posted when coming home from the club, the roommate rolling his eyes at the taller boy for making a mess as he entered the flat

or he would be smiling in a group picture taken at some birthday dinner with the rest of his and mingyu’s friends

and you had seen him in the portraits that hung in their living room; some of his and his family and some of his and his friends

and you had heard of him

oh boy had you heard of him

mingyu never really stopped bringing him up, blabbering about how wonwoo had accidentally opened the door to the bathroom while mingyu was showering (which was a big deal since mingyu had... broken the shower curtain a week before and still hadn’t gotten a replacement)

or talking about how he had almost choked on his soda after he was told his photos were selected to be exhibited at a showcase

and at that point, you were sure you were pretty much acquainted with him ... without even having said hello

but you had never actually seen him

and the first time you did, it was so rushed and chaotic, that it was almost as if you hadn’t (or at least, that’s what you would have wanted)

because you and your friends had gone out clubbing

and you had ended up drunk off your ass

which caused your roommate to call mingyu, the only person she could actually trust with your well-being in such a state, to pick you up because she was going off with someone for the night

and mingyu, being the loyal best friend he was, was left to deal with you and your nonsense

which included you practically screaming a very slurred “hey! you’re the roommate! dude, you’re cute!” to wonwoo as mingyu ushered you to his room

poor wonwoo was just coming out of his room when you had walked (kind-of) inside the flat, hair a mess with a big grin on your face (despite your now-ruined lipstick)

and it was a bit astounding at first

because wonwoo had never actually seen you either

he’d always thought it was weird, of course, because of the way mingyu always talked about you... he had always thought you two were pretty much a thing

it’s not like mingyu had ever spoken about you in that way, but the thought had planted itself in wonwoo’s head and now there was no way to shake it off

and the fact that he’d walked outside his room to find you and mingyu laughing and cooking breakfast together next morning didn’t help

because you had music playing and were lip syncing and smiling at each other

and wonwoo only whispered a quick “good morning” before he walked back inside his room with a glass of water in his hand

because well ... you were cute

but you were also with mingyu

and weirdly, after that night, the two of you started seeing each other almost everyday

turns out you shared not one, but two classes, and had not once noticed because you sat in opposite sides of the classroom

and you frequented the same coffee shop, almost always stopping by for your daily caffeine fix at the exact same time

and you were usually around the same spots in the library, faces way too deep in a book to ever notice the other

and well... you thought he was cute too

but he sort of, kind of, definitely avoided you whenever you saw him

he wasn’t rude or anything, but he’d never spend more than five minutes around you whenever you ran into him

not even when you laid in mingyu’s couch eating pizza and watching re-runs of your favorite dramas, because wonwoo basically chose to eat cold cereal alone in his room than to be around the two of you together

he was very observant, and in those few weeks, he had noticed you

like, really noticed you

and how you both enjoyed the same kind of books, drank your coffee exactly the same, listened to the same type of music and even had the same kind of humor

he noticed how similar you two were

he noticed how perfect you two went together

but you were with someone else already

except you noticed all of those things too

but once again, wonwoo avoided you like the plague

so that had to mean he didn’t like you, didn’t it?

it broke your heart when thinking about it

and you tried to ask mingyu but he was always like “nah, he doesn’t hate you. i think?”

so you were back to staring at him in class and hoping he wouldn’t turn around and catch you in the act

little did you know that you were slowly falling for each other

but being so similar, you tried your best not to think about the other

and as finals came around, it wasn’t that hard, because again, you both immersed yourselves in your academic lives so much it basically became your sole focus for that one period of time

until the boys went out to celebrate soonyoung’s a+ in his calculus test

and wonwoo saw mingyu make out with some girl in the middle of the dance floor

his hands balled into fists by his sides almost unconsciously, and he was 100% sure he would’ve gone and told mingyu off if only he wasn’t entrusted with dealing with a very drunk seungkwan, who was doing a very good job with keeping him occupied

because he kept trying to pick random sing offs with every single person his eyes fell on

and just because the rest of seungkwan’s roommates were equally drunk, he and jun had to spend the night at their place to make sure they were going to see the next day

but as soon as he went home the next morning and ran into a ... very shirtless mingyu, he went off

and boy did he go off

“how could you do that to (y/n)? do you even know how lucky you are? fuck, mingyu, you’re such an idiot. i swear, if you don’t go and apologize your ass off - no, actually don’t do that. you don’t deserve (y/n), you know? after what you did?”

and he just kept ... going

and poor mingyu was just staring at wonwoo as he blabbered whatever was on his mind at him and he was ??? so confused

“what the fuck are you even talking about?”

“i saw you! i saw you making out with that girl last night! and you brought her here, didn’t you?”

“well, yeah, but i-”

“see! that’s what i’m talking about! you cheated on (y/n) and go about it so casually, as if-”

“wait! cheated on (y/n)? wonwoo what the fuck?”

and mingyu ... he looks so lost that wonwoo would probably had just left if only he wasn’t so mad at him

because he was so, so, so head over heels for you

and the thought of you being hurt made his blood boil

“what does (y/n) have to do with this?”

“you’re their boyfriend! and you brought a girl home!”

“jesus fuck wonwoo, you got it all wrong! (y/n)’s my best friend! that’s it! we’re not dating, oh my god.”

and wonwoo was just ??? standing in the middle of the kitchen, face red, hands balled into fists and just about ready to swing at mingyu to defend your honor

and so it dawned upon mingyu. why would wonwoo even care? did you two even know each other?

“wait! do you like (y/n)?”

and wonwoo basically rolled his eyes at mingyu as he walked away and left the taller boy in the kitchen by himself

and well ... wonwoo didn’t know what to do

because he had tried to keep his feelings to himself for so long

and now they were basically fighting, with all their might, to come out

and he felt as if he was dreaming, or in some sort of daze, because before he could even realize, he was walking back into the kitchen and to a (still) very confused mingyu

“can you give me (y/n)’s number?”

mingyu nodded, still analyzing the situation, and handed him his phone with wonwoo’s yelling still buzzing in his ears

“i’m sorry, by the way”

and it must have been the remains of his sudden jolt of adrenaline, because his fingers were basically gliding over the keyboard as he texted you a sweet hi, it’s wonwoo. mingyu gave me your number, hope you don’t mind :)

you didn’t see the text until a little after when you woke up

because well... you’re so not a morning person

but when you looked up your phone you nearly passed out

because it was a text from wonwoo

your crush, who you could’ve sworn hated your guts before that morning

and you also had like 15 missed calls from mingyu and a very confusing text you didn’t even understand (something about him being scared? and demanding you to go to his apartment? in all caps?)

so you took a shower, got dressed (slightly more elegantly than you usually did when you hung out with mingyu) and went over to his flat

and to your surprise, it wasn’t mingyu who opened the door

it was wonwoo

he was smiling at you, and it was the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen

but then you heard mingyu’s voice from the kitchen

“thank god, go somewhere else and sort out whatever it is that’s going on before wonwoo actually punches me in the face”

and you were really confused

but didn’t fight wonwoo when he took your hand in his and guided you away from the apartment and to your usual coffee shop for you to have breakfast together

he told you everything over a plate of warm croissants and two iced americanos

his cheeks were tinted pink and he’s smiling in embarrassment, but his voice didn’t falter

because talking to you felt natural, as if he had been doing it for a long time

and you feel the exact same way

so you didn’t say anything when he held your hand over the table as you both talked about how funny mingyu must’ve looked when wonwoo went off at him

his cheeks were tinted red the whole time

that doesn’t change as you start going out

because even when he’s your boyfriend, you so much look in his direction and his face is flushed red

talking about that, nobody knew the two of you were dating at first

except for your (now traumatized) best friend

so when the boys were hanging out at mingyu’s apartment and you came out of wonwoo’s room with you very flustered boyfriend walking behind you, everybody was like ???

and it didn’t help that mingyu saw the two of you and went “not when i’m around for gods sake”

the boys looked so confused when wonwoo was like “oh, we’re dating”

because some of them knew you

“wait so... mingyu’s best friend... and his roomate...” followed by a giggle from the one and only yoon jeonghan

and a very loud whine from mingyu hehe

the tall puppy you call your best friend lays off it a few days afterwards

he’s still a little scared of wonwoo but it’s okay to him, because your boyfriend often uses it to his advantage

like the the time the two of you were cuddling on the couch, each with a book of your own, and mingyu kept going on and on about how the three of you should go out for some ice cream

and wonwoo stared at him like he did that one morning

“you know what? maybe jihoon wants to go get ice cream, enjoy the rest of your day”

but anyways

your relationship with wonwoo is really, really, really domestic

like the two of you spend way more time just cooking together and having deep-ass conversations in his bed while cuddling than anything else

one of your favorite things to do is laze around in sweatpants and hoodies while reading and listening to music

because if you basically lived in wonwoo’s apartment as mingyu’s best friend, you spend even more time there now that wonwoo’s your bf

he even cleared out one of his drawers for you because you kept on leaving clothes there every time you spent the night

mingyu even added you to the “neighbors!” chat after declaring you their unofficial third roommate lol 

you also go on plenty coffee dates

especially before class

and then when you get to your shared classes, hand in hand, people are like ??? were they dating ??? but don’t dwell on it too much bc you two do go along like two peas in a pod

study dates in which you two DO study but also have a great time

because you’re listening to music and helping each other revise over some snacks

talking about music, he’s always making you playlists

he’d literally be listening to any song and think of you, so he’d have like 15 playlists full of songs that “sound like you”, as he says

you’re always cracking jokes around the other

and people don’t get it sometimes

but you always do

so when you’re around the guys and woo cracks a joke that no one laughs at but you, he feels rather happy?

i mean he’s always like 🥰🥰🥰 anyways so

boy dresses so comfortably

that if you ever get to wear something of his, you’d be in heaven

he’s pretty tall ? and broad ? so his clothes fit you so so comfortably

and he gets super shy whenever you do but it also makes him so happy

especially if someone else notices

like if you go out late for dinner with him and gyu and wear something of his and mingyu goes like “isn’t that wonwoo’s hoodie?”, boy goes like 🥰🥰🥰 once more

i feel like the two of you don’t necessarily flaunt your relationship

since he’s pretty shy i don’t think he’d be into pda

but you’re always super close to each other

and if he feels comfortable enough, he’d hold your hand or put his arm around your shoulders

if you ever go on a night out together though

oh boy hehe

prepare for wonwoo’s hands to be on you at all times

especially when you’re both a little tipsy and in the middle of the dance floor

all of the guys would look be low-key scared at how close wonwoo and you are grinding dancing, completely lost in the music (and each other)

because it’s so much closer than what they’d ever imagine coming from the two of you

which prompted mingyu to be super awkward around you two for the following days hehe

talking about that, mingyu basically flees the apartment he hears even the faintest noise coming out of wonwoo’s bedroom

and idk i feel like, opposite to his usually quiet nature, he’d be pretty vocal in bed

super into dirty talk don’t even fight me on this

it’s more like super amped praising than actual dirty talk but still

loves it when you ride his thigh

loves it when you ride him in general

idk i feel like the two of you would have a sex playlist

and the songs on there are suuuuuper sensual

so it’s not like you’re going at it wildly but it’s... really intimate and ~spicy~

super into holding hands and kissing you so damn hard as he gets close

he once tried to give you a strip-tease but went super shy right in the middle of it and you never spoke of it again lmao

i feel like wonwoo would be a super romantic lover

not the type of romantic that recites poems and buys you flowers every day or anything

but the way he kisses you when there’s nobody else around, and you feel like it’s only the two of you in the whole world

and the way he looks at you, with so much love and adoration it almost makes you cry

and the way he holds you at night, so close to him you can literally listen to his heartbeat 

and the way he opens up to you when you’re alone in his apartment and goes “i just... i never thought a love like this would even be real, you know?" 

he literally never gets enough of you

but it’s okay, because you don’t either