#like lately it does seem like somebody has it out for me personally

[ebbarights]

.

[sistertotheknowitall]

Some guy finds Red Hood annoying.

Masterpost

All Danny wanted was one peaceful day. That was all. What does he get instead? A 6’ foot, jacked, vigilante crime lord. (Anti-hero, is that what he is? Danny wasn’t sure.) Now Danny’s not gonna say that a tall, built, hot as hell morally gray bad guy isn’t always unwelcome. It was just this one. (Unless, apparently, you’re Jazz. “Seriously?” “Look I don’t need saving but if he wants to come to my rescue, who am I to complain.”) They have gotten into many fights since Danny first moved to Gotham. ( He had chosen to live in a crime alley despite being able to afford slightly better. The money from his college fund was dumped entirely into said school and the money he earned went to bills and groceries.) Said screaming matches weren't even really fights; they were closer to the squabbles he’d get into with Jazz as an annoying way to express concern for each other. (A habit they, unfortunately, learned from their parents.) So having these types of arguments with said morally gray crime lord had Danny wondering if it was too late to cancel Jazz’s flight. (She boarded an hour ago.) He didn’t want them meeting, actually he’d like to keep her as far away as possible.

That’s why it was really inconvenient for these guys to kidnap him today. He had to get his sister from the airport and now he had to deal with Red Hood? Really? Other than Dickwing, Red Hood was the last person Danny wanted to see in a kidnapping situation. At least the others didn't make him feel like he was disappointing them. Only Jazz was allowed to make him feel the sting of disappointment at being reckless (and occasionally Sam and Tucker). Now, Danny thought he had decent common sense (“Shut up, Jazz.”), but he would gladly admit that he didn’t have Gotham common sense. He wasn’t afraid to go out at night just because the Riddler got out of Arkham. Honestly, he didn't see why he had to be afraid given any time of day. Danny was pretty sure he was basically immortal. (“Immortality is not dying and coming back as a full ghost.” “Then what would you call it, Jazz!?”) This seemed to frustrate Red Hood to no end as Danny lived in his part of the city and Danny was prone to finding trouble. (It actually seems to find him, Danny’s not actively going out and looking for it. He’s just trying to get on with his life.)

Anyway, yeah, Jazz was flying in for the weekend and somebody had kidnapped him. A perfectly normal Thursday. So, in perfectly normal Thursday fashion, Spoiler and Red Hood had swooped in while Danny was in the midst of a really intense staring contest with the kidnapper across from him. (“You know the staring is flattering when Tim does it but you make me feel icky.” The man didn't move and his hard stare barely wavered. “Alright, but I warn you I’m really good at this game.”) A flash of purple and the goon was no longer standing. Red Hood had come in guns blazing and made quick work of the other two kidnappers as Danny waited patiently to be untied. He could have phased through the chains he was hanging by but he didn't see a reason to. Just because they knew he could turn invisible didn’t mean they needed to know about everything else. (“That’s gaslighting, Danny.” “Technically, Sam, I think it’s lying by omission.” “Tucker.” “Right, not helping.”)

“Sooo,” Spoiler sang once Danny was free. “Who’s Tim?” You know what? Maybe it was Spoiler he should have been dreading. Red Hood made his way over, “yeah, kid, you got a boyfriend you didn’t tell us about?” Mm no, he regrets being in both their presence. Danny waved their questions away as he turned in a slow circle looking for the door. He wasn't quite sure of the time, but he was positive he was late to pick up Jazz. He answered as he made his way to the unconscious body of the guy who lost the staring contest, “a friend, well, a customer - a regular really. Nice guy, cute, has a staring problem.” Danny stooped down and started digging through the guys pockets, “do either of you know where the exit is?” Thankfully the guy was the one with his phone, he didn't want to search all the kidnappers. Turning it on, Danny saw that he was late and Jazz had already caught a taxi back to his place. The text had got increasingly more panicked the longer he hadn’t responded along with an alarming number of missed calls. 

Danny shot her a quick text as he followed Spoiler out of the building. Sorry, got kidnapped, am fine now. Please don't call. Will explain later. Love ya <3 He quickly added a selfie that Spoiler photo bombed over his shoulder holding up a peace sign. 

The screen immediately lit up with a facetime call. Danny turned it off and stuffed it in his pocket. He really didn't want Jazz meeting Red Hood.

He turned to face his “saviors.” “Okay, this has been fun. Thanks for the rescue, sorry I can’t stay and talk but I am needed elsewhere.” Throwing a quick salute he started down the street. After a block and a half he stopped at the opening of an ally. “You know I hate it when you all just stalk me from the shadows, it's very Babadook of you.” Hood appeared first behind Danny, “what's Babadook?” “A gay icon,” Spoiler drops in front of Danny. “Very true,” Danny high fives her as he hears Red Hood sigh, seeming to mutter to himself, “this is going in the folder.” “Okay,” Danny says, addressing both of them, “you don't need to walk me home.” Red Hood crossed his arms, “you’d rather your ‘Tom’ walk you?” Danny really really didn't want Jazz to meet Red Hood. Danny sighed, “His name is Tim and he’s just a friend and I’d rather nobody walked me home, I’m a fully capable adult.” “Capable huh? That’s what you call last week’s fiasco?” Last week’s fiasco being an incident that may or may not have involved a cult trying to sacrifice him. (He was insulted that they were trying to sacrifice him to a low level demon. He was the king of the infinite realms and they were using him to summon Craig? Really? Not that they knew any of this but still. Rude.) Spoiler placed her forearm on Danny’s shoulder to lean, as if he wasn't a few inches taller then her. “Not to mention tonight's kidnapping.” Danny shrugged her off. “And you two saved me,” he started slowly backing away into the alley behind him, “so, danger avoided.” Red Hood's hand shot out and grabbed Danny by the back of his shirt collar, “uh-uh, you're not pulling the disappearing act tonight.” Danny had indeed been intending to disappear and fly home, now he was being scuffed like a kitten. In hindsight he had pulled that move fairly often with Hood. Crossing his legs Danny refused to be set down on his feet so Red Hood dropped him. “Ow!”One peaceful day, was that too much? (Luckly, they didnt follow him into his building and just watched him enter. Unluckily, he had a worried and very annoyed older sister to face.) (“A selfie, Danny?! Really!?” “I wanted to assure you it was really me!”)

Part 7

[random-potat]

˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ heads up

pairings: ni-ki x reader ft. danielle of new jeans and mentions of jake

synopsis: sometimes getting hit on the head by a baseball can be something to bond over.

word count: 1063

warnings: mild swearing, poor attempts at humour

a/n: as somebody who has always been hit in the face by a sports ball growing up, hopefully this is a meet cute that can actually happen to me but thats probably still unrealistic lol. anyways here's a short little ni-ki oneshot!! i still dont know how i feel about it but its good enough ε-(ｰдｰ) will most likely be posting my jongseob smau soon so that will be my main focus :)) so oneshots may not be posted as often cause this writer cannot multitask :p

Sitting in class, you continuously check your phone, counting down the time until class ends. 

You feel a nudge on your shoulder, waking you up from your daze. Turning to the person beside you, Danielle whispers to you. “Mr. Hong may be smart and nice, but why does his voice have to be so gentle?” She puts her head down on the desk. "Like, it makes me sooo sleepy.”

"Agreed,” you say as you check your phone again for what seems like the 127th time.

“Why do you keep checking your phone? You got a hot date?” Dani teases.

You roll your eyes and respond, “I wish. More like a date to the dentist. Have to leave as soon as class ends, or else I'll have to wait thirty minutes for the next train.”

"Well, that sucks,"  Dani sighs. "Honestly, knowing you, you may not be able to make it considering how slow you run.”

You slapped her arm. “Hey! So not true. I’m just preserving energy.”

“Mmhm. Sure.”

Five minutes before class ends, you start to pack your things, getting ready to dash outside the classroom.

As the bell rings, you quickly run down the stairs, saying a quick goodbye to Dani as well as Mr. Hong. You couldn’t really care as people gave you odd looks for rushing towards the train station; some people may have thought that you just really needed to take a shit.

On the way to the train station, you have to pass by the sports field. Being completely unaware of your surroundings, you fail to hear someone shout toward you.

“Hey! Heads up!”

All of a sudden, a hard object hits you square on the side of your head, making you lose balance and fall to the ground. 

Aware of your position on the ground, a wave of embarrassment took over. You lay there for a bit, not wanting to make eye contact with the people around you. “Not gonna lie, you would think somebody would come and ask me if I’m alright,” you thought.

As you start to get up from the ground, the sound of footsteps can be heard running towards you.

"Hey, are you okay?” A tired yet deep and husky voice says

You look up from your position, seeing a boy around your age with a baseball mitt around his hand. “Why is this man so freaking tall?”

You watch as he mouths words, but no actual sound is coming out of those plumped, nevertheless sort of chapped lips.

He shakes your shoulder lightly. “Excuse me, are you okay?”

You shake your head, getting out of your daze, although that may have been a mistake, seeing that it made you more dizzy.

The boy reaches his hand out, and you grab them as he hoists you back up.

“I’m so sorry, that was quite a hit; it must’ve hurt,” he starts. “Normally Jake has better aim, and when he doesn't, I can normally catch it,” he says as he scratches the nape of his neck.

“It’s completely fine; it totally doesn’t hurt at all.” You respond nonchalantly. 

“Do you want some ice? I can get someone to get you some," he says as he grabs your hand and pulls you towards the practice field. “Here, just come sit on the bench and I’ll grab you some ice,” he says as he ushers a team member to get some ice.

“No, no, it's okay. I'm good. Kind of running late for something anyway, plus it really doesn't hurt.” You attempt to stand up.

The boy gently pushes you back on the bench. "Look, I'm sure whatever you have to do can wait, cause even if you say it doesn't hurt, the side of your head is definitely saying something else.”

You reach up to where the ball hit you, feeling a swollen bump starting to form. “Fine, you can give me ice, but after that, I'll be on my way to the station.”

He gives you a stern look. “Um, no, we still have to go with the standard precautions. You could have a concussion right now.”

"Look, I'm sure if I had one, I would know.”

“No, you're staying here. Practice ends in fifteen minutes anyway. So stay put.” He hands you a plastic bag of ice that his teammate got.

Being left with no choice, you watch as he runs to the center of the field. Watching as he throws and catches the ball around.

Not really knowing anything about baseball, you plug your earbuds in and slowly close your eyes to rest. “I'm already late at this point; I might as well rest.”

Little did you know, resting your eyes caused a little misunderstanding with the boy that had helped you. As he practiced, he took small glances at you every now and then. Seeing your eyes start to close caused him to immediately think you were about to faint.

Worried that you just became unconscious, the boy was unaware of the baseball that was being thrown towards him.

With history repeating itself, the boy fell face flat to the ground, a swollen bump starting to form on his head.

Waking up from your quick nap, you look beside you to see the same boy holding an ice pack on his head, similar to you.

“What the hell just happened?” You questioned.

“You know it turns out Jake over there really does have bad aim,” he jokes. “Or maybe I was just a teensy bit worried about you.”

“Worried about what?”

He explains, "Well, you closed your eyes; I thought you had fainted.” 

"Well, I didn't.”

He sighs. “Yeah, I can see that now.”

The two of you guys sat there with an awkward silence surrounding you. Feeling a bit better, you decide to grab your things, turning toward the boy beside you.

“You know, I never got your name. It would be nice to know who my hero is.”

“I'm Nishimura Riki, but people just call me Ni-ki. You?”

“I'm YN. Nice to meet you, Ni-ki, and thanks for helping me.”

He smiles, “Anytime.”

As you begin to turn away, a faraway voice can be heard.

“Hey! Heads up!”

You turn around and see Ni-ki in front of you with a baseball in his hand.

He screams towards his teammate, “You know Jake, you really do have shit aim!”

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[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Practice On Me — Part Nine — Azriel x Reader

Summary: Roza’s arrival in Windhaven brings some home truths crashing down on Reader. She just needs a hug, someone to talk to, but it all goes very, very wrong…

Word Count: 3k.

Warnings: None.

Chaos evades logic.

There is no rationality to be found here. No sense to be made of the ample feelings that begin to chew you up and spit you out.

All you know, as you lace your breeches up and correct yourself, is that you feel like you’ve been punched in the gut.

“Are you decent?” Roza calls, her back still to you.

You tie the last lace. Clear your throat. “All good.”

The closest person you’ve ever had to a mother figure turns on the spot. She’s absolutely beautiful — fucking glowing — her swollen belly visible through her thick coat, and her eyes alight with a quality you’ve never seen before.

Rhysand really is the mirror image of her.

“I actually cannot believe I just witnessed that.” She grouses. “And just when I thought the morning sickness had finally come to an end, too. My poor, poor eyes.”

Cassian makes a noise. “Roz, that’s a bit dramatic—”

“You be quiet.” She points a finger at him. “Your mouth has done quite enough tonight, thank you very much.”

The two of them stare at each other — Cassian wanting to be a little shit and push his luck, and Roza wanting to…

Well, to gouge her eyes out with a rusty spoon, probably.

But then Cassian cracks a grin, and he’s bounding over to the female like an excitable pup. “Fuck, I’ve missed you.”

“Watch your language.” Roza scorns, but she happily accepts the hug that Cass yanks her into. “Gods, you’ve grown even more.”

You…you are rooted to the spot. Unable to move.

You want to go over there, too. To embrace her. But…but just seeing Roza makes the previous couple of months come hammering down on you in an unwelcome downpour of unwanted realisations.

You think: Roza caught me fooling around with Cassian.

And then you think: Fucking hell, I fooled around with Cassian again.

And then you’re wondering how — how you’ve let the recent events of your life veer down such a beaten, broken path.

It’s like Roza’s appearance brings a clarity that has been very much absent as of late. She’s always been a figure of reason and wisdom, always stopped you from spiralling.

And now she’s here, you’re looking at Cassian — your damn friend — and wondering just how much damage you might have caused.

He’s mid-conversation with Roza when he seems to notice you staring at him. Roza notices, too.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” She says.

You open your mouth, unsure how you intend to respond. All that slips out is a rasped, “I’m just…so glad you’re here.”

Cassian snorts. “Tell that to your face.”

You can’t bring yourself to laugh at the jibe. And it would seem that Roza can’t, either. She’s studying you in that assessing way you’ve seen her wear a thousand times before — the one where the motherly instinct kicks in, and she’s sensing something is wrong. It seems to be a subconscious act, the way she slides her hand over her bump.

“So what are you doing back here, anyway?” Cassian asks her, slinging an arm round her shoulders. “I thought the High Lord wanted you to stay in Velaris for the pregnancy.”

“He does.” Roza says. “But then I found out Y/N had somehow ended up homeless and that he hadn’t bothered to help, so he and I aren’t on the best of terms right now.” She eyes you again. “I’ve come to move you properly into the cottage — including retrieving your belongings from your father’s house. I will not have you freezing your ass off in this dump.”

Gods, you love her.

She’s so fierce, so passionate. This is a female who housed three lost, rowdy children under her roof and offered them the same amount of love as she felt for her biological son. This is a female who does what she believes is right and damns the consequences. This is a female who doesn’t hesitate — not for one second — to help somebody in need.

She’s the exact kind of female you want yourself to be. And she’s the only person you wish to see in that moment.

“Perfect.” Cassian chirps brightly. “I’ll help. Let’s go fetch Y/N’s stuff from the bastard’s house right now.”

He takes a step towards the door, but Roza is laying a hand on his arm. She doesn’t look away from you once. “Cassian, my darling, I love you endlessly. And so, I say this with the greatest of adoration — fuck off to the mead hall, or something, and leave Y/N and I to have some girl time alone.”

“What?” He squawks in outrage. “But you just got here.”

“And I promise you we’ll catch up properly later. But right now, Y/N and I need some time alone.”

“But—”

“Do you want to stay and discuss the ins and outs of childbirth?”

Instantly, he falters. The change of tune would be comical if you were actually capable of feeling anything but despair in that moment.

“You know what?” He cracks a grin. “The mead hall sounds great right about now.”

Roza chuckles. “I thought it might. I’m taking Y/N back to the cottage. I’ll come and fetch you when we’re done. And if you see Az or Rhys, be sure to tell them to stay away, too.”

Oh.

This is going to be a serious talk.

You can’t remember the last time Roza was so insistent about it just being the two of you.

Probably when you got your first ever cycle, and she held and soothed and bathed you through it.

Will she still be so tender when she hears of the full scope of the mess you’ve created for yourself? You’re not sure you’d deserve it.

“Go easy, Cass.” Roza warns. “Don’t get into any fights.”

“Pff. As if I would.” Your friend lands a kiss on her cheek. “You look beautiful, Roz.” He says, and then he’s bustling out of the door without a care in the world.

You stare after him. Wish you could be that carefree. It feels…it feels impossible.

Gods, you just want to fucking cry.

Roza can see that. She holds a hand out.

“Come, my little dove.” She says. “Let’s get you home.”

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

It kind of feels like walking into the cottage for the very first time, all over again.

You remember that night like it happened only yesterday. Remember how the cold had felt as you’d followed Azriel through the snow. The noises of bickering coming  from behind the door.

Even at eleven, Az had always seemed so much taller than you. You’d noticed that as he’d strode ahead and led you inside.

Roza had been standing in the kitchen, and she’d turned to you with a curious expression. “Oh.” She’d chirped, with more warmth than you’d ever heard from your own kin. “What have we here, then?”

You, Azriel had explained to her, had been set upon by a group of males far older than you. Az had defended you, and then he’d invited you to share his dinner.

Roza had taken one look at the dirt packed beneath your fingernails and told you to thoroughly wash your hands before taking a seat. You’d done just that.

And it was at that very table that Rhysand had introduced himself.

“I’m Rhysand. My father is the High Lord.”

Roza had scolded him for showing off.

And it was after that that Cassian had eyed you with a wild, feral look and simply said, “I bet I could beat you in an arm wrestle. I beat everyone.”

“Not at my dinner table, you don’t.” Roza had put a stop to that immediately. And then she’d placed a steaming pie in the centre of the table, and High Lords and arm wrestles were all but forgotten, and Azriel had been quiet and shy at your side, but dutifully offering you different foods before he took any for himself—

Standing at the threshold of the cottage, now…it’s like watching that entire scene play out before you. The ghosts of your younger, wayward selves feast greedily on a wholesome meal that lets you forget your harrowing experiences for a little while.

How things have changed.

You finally step in. Kick the door shut behind you. The smells and warmth of your sanctuary envelop you, and you know — you fucking know that you won’t be able to keep a lid on your tears for long.

“Don’t know how many times I’ve told those idiots to put the fire out before they leave the house.” Roza mutters, but she goes striding straight towards that burning fire and welcomes its warmth. “Although, I must admit, I’m a little impressed. I expected this place to be far messier in my absence than it is. Don’t tell me they’ve actually been cleaning—”

“Roza.” You cut in, your voice shaky, desperate. “About what you saw—”

She turns back to you. Says nothing as concerned, violet eyes sweep the length of your body. She’s letting you speak, but you don’t know what the fuck to say.

You open and close your mouth as though the act will make some sense of…any of this.

It doesn’t.

“I didn’t realise you and Cassian were…” Roza clears her throat. Pauses. “I just…what of Azriel, Y/N?”

You blink at her.

Roza’s very good at knowing things she hasn’t been told, but for her to know about you and Az when she’s been in Velaris this whole time, and when, as far as you’re aware, these things have been strictly kept between you and Azriel only—

“What?” You breathe.

“Perhaps I’m wrong, I don’t know.” She frowns. “But I always suspected that you and Az would be…something more. Your connection with him has always run a little deeper than with anyone else. That’s why I was so shocked when I found you…and Cass…”

Is she wrong?

No.

And fucking damn you for taking all these years to see it. Fucking damn you for only realising you wanted Azriel as more than just your friend when somebody else began to recognise his brilliance.

Fucking damn you for all of this, and damn Azriel, too, and damn everyone.

It all comes showering down on you in an instant, harsh and unwelcome.

You love Azriel. Not just in the way you love Rhysand and Cassian. You’re in love with his soul, his spirit. Who he is will always be tethered to who you are, even though he isn’t yours to cling onto. It’s been that way since you were old enough to harbour such feelings, and you’ve been burying it all these years, burying it under bad choices and regrettable actions, because all of that seemed easier to face, than…this. The fact that you were never able to control your heart, stop it from feeling such things, and now you feel them so intensely that it hurts.

Had your deal with Az ever really been about helping him, or had it been a selfish ruse under which you could have some small experience to remember him by when he inevitably gave his heart to somebody else?

Because you are just Y/N. You’ve always just been Y/N.

You are not Kaeda — Kaeda with the wings, and the strength, and the excellence.

Just Y/N. Just Y/N—

“Speak to me, my love.” Roza steps closer. “I’m worried about you.”

Your eyes blur with tears. Your legs buckle, and you’re bracing one hand on the back of the couch while the other flies up to cup over your mouth.

“Oh, gods, what have I done?” Your voice breaks.

“Speak to me.” Roza says again.

“This is all such a mess.”

“What is, Y/N?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I don’t know what—what to do!”

“You need to breathe.” She responds firmly. “Deep breaths. Now.”

You try. Gods, you try. But your chest is constricting, and the air won’t reach your lungs, and all you can hear on a constant loop inside your head is one, bellowing sentence.

Everything is irreversibly changed.

Roza closes the gap between you and cups your face. The touch is soft, but firm. She forces you to look at her, and her face is blurred by your tears, but you know she’s looking at you how she’s always looked at you — with love.

“Tell me what’s going on, and I can help you through it.” She pleads.

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” You sob back.

She yanks you close, arms wrapping around you. She’s held you like this through so, so much. This is no different.

But it feels different, in that it feels worse. Not only is it possible that your actions could change your relationships with both Cassian and Azriel, but also that they could change their relationship with each other, too — change the strong, steadfast dynamic between your three closest friends.

You tremble, clinging to Roza like you may just collapse. Your heartbeat gallops in your ears like rhythmic footfalls.

“Y/N—”

“It all turned into a total mess.” You choke out. “I was feeling things — I am feeling things — and then Azriel had Kaeda and I was jealous and stupid and I — I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have slept with Cassian.”

“You did what?”

Those three, outraged words are not spoken in Roza’s voice. The sudden interjection of Azriel’s is enough for your sobs to catch in your throat.

Every single inch of your body goes cold as you step back to look at him. Blink at him. Roza fights to keep hold of you.

Normally, he would have hurried over to embrace her. But he stays rooted to the last step of the staircase. He’s staring at you. Only you.

You’ve never seen him look so pale.

“Az.” Roza sighs softly. “We didn’t realise you were home.”

He doesn’t look away from you — not once — as he asks, “What did you just say?”

Roza inches towards him. “I think we all need to sit down and talk about this—”

“You fucked Cassian?”

Tears spill over, roll down your cheeks. Your voice doesn’t want to show itself as you croak out, “Az, I can explain.”

“You fucked Cassian?” He’s repeating it like…like he needs to. Like it won’t get into his head any other way. “You had sex with him?”

“Yes, but—”

“Around the time you and I were doing similar things?”

Roza’s head whips round to you in surprise. You’d failed to mention that bit. After a moment, she rights herself once more. “Azriel, you should let her speak.”

“I can’t fucking believe you.” Letting you speak is the last thing on his mind as he steps down, storming past the two of you. You reach out for him, but he’s jerking away, heading for the door.

“Azriel, please.” Your voice cracks. “Let me explain.”

“Explain that you fucked Cass? At the same time that I was sharing such…such huge things with you—”

“At the same time you were sharing them with Kaeda!”

He falls still, hand faltering on the doorknob, shoulders hunched.

And then he glances over his shoulder at you with an expression so bleak, you’d do anything, make a bargain with anyone, to wipe it from his face.

“Except that I’ve never touched Kaeda like that.” He says. “Not once. I couldn’t.”

Before you’re capable of summoning an answer, he’s yanking the door open and thundering out into the snow.

Shock pulses through you, ice-cold and harrowing. You blink, and blink and blink and blink, and you think Roza might be saying your name, but you can only choke out another sob that grates against your throat, and then your legs are moving forward, stumbling out of the door.

“Az, wait!” You cry, but he’s already striding far into the distance. “Please!”

You try to move, but it’s like the snow is binding your ankles, grounding you firmly to the spot. You sob. Try to move. Fall. Get up. It’s cold and wet. You’re hurting. Everything’s hurting.

And somebody’s yelling — yelling at you.

“Hey!” You know the voice. It’s a voice you don’t like. But you can’t put a face to it until its owner is stopping in front of you, sneering at you. Lord Devlon. “What did I tell you about staying away from these parts, girl?”

You’re incapable of answering him. You’re not even looking at him. You just stare and stare in the direction that Az disappeared in, fat, hot tears rolling down your cheeks.

“I’m talking to you.” Devlon grabs your chin between his fingers, hard. “Insolent female—”

“Remove your hand from her face at once.”

He blinks at the sight of Roza stepping out of the cottage. Clearly, he had no clue she’d returned. And even he won’t speak out against the High Lord’s pregnant mate.

He drops his hand immediately.

Roza steps up to your side and narrows her gorgeous eyes at him. Her hand sits on her swollen belly. “Look at you, Lord Devlon — following orders like a good dog. Now, go on. Fuck off.”

There’s a slight twitch of a muscle as he clenches his jaw. He hates every second of it, but he obediently turns away from you.

“Oh — Lord Devlon?” Roza calls after him.

He stops. Turns. “Yes, lady?”

“I decide who can and cannot live in my house.” She stares him down. “That call is mine and mine alone. And if I hear of you giving Y/N any more trouble? I’ll rip your fucking throat out.”

She turns her back to him with utter dismissal. If you weren’t so devastated, you might laugh at his stunned expression.

But Roza sees the pain in your eyes, and she pulls you into her arms.

“Come, my love.” She murmurs  softly. “Let’s get you inside.”

az tags: @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @sirenpearldust @queercodedcharacter @azriels-shadowsinger @ruler-of-hades @demi03 @magicaldragonlady @abrielletargaryen @ralsieq @v3lv3tf0x @achase2002 @feyretopia @hayrunnwr @don’t-feed-the-hipsters @brekkershadowsinger @piceous21 @bloodicka @acourtofinkandpapyrus @riri-is-agirlie @siriusement @4valyries @socmono @azriels-mate123 @acourtofbatboydreams @katherinearcheron @nesemi @lupinswolfsbanes @dreaming-unafraid @dxnniiix @cyrygher @liddyr03 @lmllsl @nightless @teenageeggscissorslawyer @brighterthanlonelythoughts @blitz-fall @maybefoxysouls @mschanand1erbong @juiceboxreads @bangtanbecks @florencemtrash @hyemishii @obixix @thenovarose @meshellexplosionmurder @angzlxna @lissy31xoxo-blog @supernatural99 @positivewitch @art3-m1ss @milfhunter-pdx @bbuckysbeardd @coralseacourt @towhateverend87 @sspookz @bird-on-the-wire33 @morrie-rose @megwan @catscanteleport @sevikas-whore @thickthighs-sadeyes

[fckeddiemunson]

Blurred Lines

Part Two Here:

Summary: Rusty takes a liking to his personal assistant.

Warnings: cheating, so much cheating, smut, coercive sex, maybe dub con elements. fem reader.18+ NO MINORS

Words: 3657

Notes: Omg i've had this idea ever since i saw the first episode. Kind of proofread

You weren’t quite sure of the exact moment the lines were crossed. You couldn’t place your finger on when things changed. Of when the lines became so blurred between a lawyer and his personal assistant that you were on your knees for him, mouth open and waiting eagerly for him. You’re not sure if it was his intense charismatic persona, or his incredible manipulation techniques that made him such a successful lawyer. But here you were, all concerns of repercussions thrown to the wind.

Rusty had hired you because as brilliant as a lawyer he was, he needed somebody to keep track of all the cases and his personal life and keep him in line. And you were an overachiever in every sense of the word. Keeping him on time for meetings and all familial appointments etc etc. In a way, you were like his minder, making sure he didn’t get too carried away and in time he wasn’t late to a single meeting, doctors’ appointment or baseball game thanks to you. You worked hard and often worked late into the nights, on big cases you and Rusty would often eat dinner together in the office. It didn’t seem to bother your fiancé as he was a police officer who worked the night shift regularly. He was going through the cases, and you were keeping on top of his calendar and emails etc. In all honesty, you could’ve done this from home, but you secretly think Rusty was thankful for some kind of company to bounce his ideas off. Or at least so he didn’t feel he was speaking to an empty room all the time.

You kept his life so together, in fact his wife, Barbara, had invited you and your fiancé, Dom, over for lunch on the weekend. At this point you had been working for Rusty for several months and were keen to make some more friends in the city, even if it was your boss who was 10-15 years your senior.

That first lunch could’ve been the first broken line, the first toe into the grey area your life had become. Everything went lovely, you got along with Barbara, or B as she asked you to call her. You two were throwing back cocktails at speeds you shouldn’t have for a midday barbecue.

“You’ve got to tell me how you managed to keep Rusty in line all these months?” B said as she mixed your next cocktail, throwing in sweet fruits and ice before shaking it. Dom and Rusty were out supervising the barbecue and playing catch with the kids.

“Honestly, it’s a lot but I’m very good at organizing and I think I’m very stern with him. Seems to be working otherwise he would’ve fired me.” You shrugged and giggled.

“It’s a very demanding job though, what he does and then of course how you manage it all” B slid your cocktail across the bench.

“It is, I guess my social life has suffered a bit, so I’m thankful for this.” You gestured to the cocktails and B smiled and nodded.

After lunch you and B ended up in the pool, very drunk and giggling like high school girls. It was like hanging out with a cool older sister. Something you didn’t have growing up.

“Dom, baby why don’t you get in? It’s so lovely.” You said to your fiancé as he walked up to your pool.

“No, I can’t. We’ve got to go; I’ve been called in for an emergency.” You pouted at him and swam over to the edge about to get out.

“No, please stay I have so much to gossip about – we haven’t gotten to the juicy work stuff yet.” B called out behind you, and you got out of the pool to be met with a very shirtless Rusty.

“I can drop you home later if that’s okay?” Rusty who was much more sober than you were asked, and you nodded vigorously and told Dom to go and not to worry.

The rest of the afternoon was spent trying to sober up but then being coxed into drinking more with B when she popped open a bottle of red. You hadn’t been able to take your eyes off Rusty since the pool. You knew he worked out but had no idea a man in his forties could be so toned and look so eye wateringly good. You knew it was all the drinks going to your head and the fact that you and Dom had barely had any time to be intimate lately. You pushed the feelings deep down inside of you.

“Looks like you and my wife got on like a house on fire, sweetheart.” Rusty broke the silence on the way home, sometimes it was hard to not talk about work so silence was all there was.

“She’s great, my new best friend in fact. And don’t call me sweetheart its sexist of my boss to do that.” You giggled, looking over to him, smirking.

“Please, we are off the clock. I’ve never seen you like you were today. Sweetheart.” His tone mocked the last word and you giggled again, still drunk.

“I don’t have much of a chance to let loose like that, almost never. So thank you I had a lot of fun.” You reached over and grabbed Rusty’s right hand and held it briefly. It was like little shocks of electricity went through your body; you never had much physical contact with him. Rusty sighed and squeezed your hand back before placing it back on the wheel. A warm fuzzy feeling settled in the bottom of your stomach. Rusty pulled into your driveway, Dom was still out, and the house was dark. Something took over you and you leaned across the centre console and kissed Rusty on the cheek. He was warm and you could smell his cologne being this close.

“Sorry, just wanted to thank you for today.” You whispered when he looked at you. You didn’t move away, his eyes staring at you bewildered. Rusty sighed a smirk and looked down briefly seeing you fiddle with your keys, “you’re so drunk, I better help you get in the door”.

Rusty helped you out of the car, his arm linked with yours as you went up the porch steps to your door. You managed to get the key in the lock, “yep, got it I’ll manage from here.” You turned back to Rusty standing with his arms crossed, seemingly amused.

“Do I get one more for the road?” Rusty pointed to his left cheek, and you rolled your eyes, taking a shaky drunk step towards him. You looked up into his gleaming eyes before closing your eyes and peaking your head around left to meet his cheek. Your eyes sprung wide open as his soft lips connected with yours. His arm slung around your lower waist as he backed you up against the front door. You broke away from the kiss, “Ohmygod I’m sosorry I’m so drunk. Fuck” spilled out of you in a hurry, you opened your scrunched eyes to see Rusty smirking. He kissed you again, breathing you in, his tongue teased at your bottom lip, teeth softly nipping as you let out a small whimper his tongue slid in, feeling your bottom lip and mouth. He pulled away, releasing you and taking a step back. You didn’t give him a chance to speak, you turned around and unlocked the door and shouted, “I’m drunk its fine it was an accident ohmygod don’t fire me I’ll see you Monday.” You slammed the door behind you and ran through your dark house to the bathroom.

You laid in the bath half an hour later, feeling mournfully sober and replaying the kiss in your head again and again. “Yeah, I absolutely keep him in line, you fucking idiot. This is all my fault.” you murmured to yourself and slid under the water and screamed.

Yeah, that was when the lines were first crossed.

*

That Monday, Rusty treated you as normal, the kiss wasn’t even mentioned. Everything seemed to go back to normal. Except, a few weeks after that, Rusty suggested that the two of you work at his house instead of the office on late nights.

“Why not?” He had said, “You and my wife get along so well, and I know she would love you over more even if we are working a bit.” And how could you say no? You had to push down that crushing guilt from that night and chalk it up to pure drunkenness and that it wouldn’t happen again. Despite the shame you felt, you were excited to see B more. From then you were over at his house, several times a week in fact. If B was angry about it, she didn’t say anything, and you felt welcomed as almost part of the family after a few times over. You often helped the kids with their homework when you had a spare moment away from Rusty’s home office. That was where you mostly worked, you deliberately made sure you were on opposite sides of the room. There was always an air around the two of you now when you were alone. It was palpable, made you nervous and you thought Rusty had to have noticed it as well. But if he did, he remained nothing but professional. Professional apart from the fact he was bringing you to work in his home almost every night. You had become more than a PA and had started helping him also prepare for cases, doing more legal work than you were probably allowed to. That’s how Rusty justified it to get you to work with him at home.

You sat at home, alone one night with a glass of wine, enjoying a crime show on TV. It was one of the rare nights Rusty didn’t ask you to work late and you decided to not even look at your work emails until the morning. Dom was already at work, not that his presence these days added much to your life, you had drifted drastically with your busy schedules. You knew it was a rough patch and you would work past it. That fact didn’t make you feel less alone though. There was a soft knock at the door shortly after nine that startled you. You got up from the couch slowly, deep down you knew it was Rusty. The thought somewhat thrilled you of being alone with him and the other part terrified you.

“Hi sweetheart. Are-are you alone? Or busy?” Rusty had a small stack of files in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. You suddenly felt very naked in your shirt dress when he was still in suit pants and dress top.

“No. Thought this was my night off?” You gestured to the stack of files in his hand and he shrugged and chuckled.

“That’s why I brought wine? I have a couple of things I’d like to run past you” You opened the door for him and walked back to turn off the tv. You got Rusty a wine glass and sat down on your couch again. The court date for this trial was a few days away. It was the murder of a woman; she was found dumped behind the bar she worked at. Most of the evidence was circumstantial for the main suspect but you continued to bounce theories off one another.

A couple of glasses down, you both seemed to have edged closer to each other. Your knees knocked together, and hands brushed over one another as you gestured to photos and pieces of evidence. Something clicked in your brain, you grabbed a couple of photos and looked at him. “Rusty! I’ve got it! This is how you’re going to nail him.” you were excited and shuffled even close to him, any closer and you would be sitting in his lap. Your eyes beamed as you explained your theory and he got more and more thrilled and scribbled notes down on a pad on his knee.

“You’re fucking brilliant! This is it!” Rusty grabbed your hand and squeezed it. The wine seemed to hit your head all at once. The edges of the room became fuzzy, and everything felt too warm and too close. You stood up and took the bottle of wine back to the kitchen, Rusty followed you silently. You felt his presence behind you, his large frame looming. Rusty’s hand reached out and rubbed it from your shoulder to your hand. You shivered and leaned into it subconsciously and Rusty grabbed your hand and spun you around to face him.

Your eyes met his, his eyes had darkened, and a wanton look had filled them. His warm hand ran back up your arm, his knuckles brushed up your neck and put a lock of hair behind your ear. Your eyes fluttered shut, you enjoyed his touch and you hated yourself for it. His hand lingered and held your face, tilting it up again, forcing you to look at him. Rusty’s thumb ran along your jawline to your bottom lip and pulled, caressing it lightly. Your breath was caught in your throat, you felt frozen in place. You were both dancing on the line, daring the other to jump off. You felt yourself reach out to him, allowed your hand to run through his hair, slightly tugging as you did. A soft growl like sound escaped him and, in an instant, he crushed the distance between you two and his lips were on yours. You bit his lip first, in an attempt to gain more control. He smirked against you and lifted you up onto the benchtop. You bit his lip again, harder and his mouth opened in a soft deep moan was swallowed by your mouth as you pulled him closer, he settled between your legs, his tight jeans pressed up against you. His spare hand ran up your thigh, up past your waist and cupped the underside of your boob. He squeezed lightly, you leaned into his touch, and he squeezed harder, coaxing a moan from you, the first one of the night.

Your hands landed on his belt buckle as your fiddled and struggled to undo it and he chucked against your lips, pulling away to look at you.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said it so quietly, if he didn’t repeat it again more firmly, ‘you’re so fucking beautiful” you may have hallucinated it. His hand ran slowly up your thigh, squeezing and scratching as he went. It made you feel weak. His kissed soft pecks at first at a spot beneath your ear, then his teeth grazed your neck right as he pulled down your panties roughly. You shivered, a hand caressing his head, hand buried in his hair again.

“Rusty, this is so wrong.” A moment of clarity. Your mind cleared for a moment, you pulled his head away from your neck.

“Yes, it is.” His hand pressed against your clit, he rubbed small, taught circles and your eyes fluttered shut again.

“We shouldn’t be doing this, Rusty.” Your voice came out in nothing more than a mewl, Rusty chuckled as his fingers moved down to your cunt, you gasped as he slid two fingers inside of you, curling them immediately. He shifted his hand, his fingers going deeper inside of you as you let out a breathy sigh.

“If you think we should stop, then why are you so wet for me?” Rusty curled his fingers again, caressing that spot you can never seem to reach and started fucking his fingers into you slowly but deeply. It knocked the breath out of you, you hadn’t felt this good in a long time. The kitchen was silent except from the small whimpers escaping your mouth, the sound of your utterly wet cunt and the satisfied chuckle from Rusty as he licked and nibbled at your neck. Rusty picked up the pace and you were rendered useless on the counter, a slave to his touch. You felt your stomach pinch, a low rumbling, tingling feeling took over you.

“Rusty, I’m-I’m going to cum.” You whimpered, his thumb found your clit and rubbed firm tight circles, sending you over the edge. You moaned out loudly, unable to keep quiet, the pleasure vibrating through you, taking you by surprise.

“That’s it sweetheart.” Rusty whispered, his hand working you through it. Every nerve ending exploded, writhed in pleasure as he pulled the orgasm from you. He pulled away and your clit pulsed, and cunt twitched from the lack of touch.

Well, that’s how you ended up on the knees, eagerly awaiting your boss’s cock.

You slid to the ground, looking him in the eyes the entire time as you finished unbuckling his belt and slid his pants down his legs. You pulled his cock out of his pants; he was painfully hard. The veins protruding and the tip was red and smeared with pre-cum. You looked back up at him his breath caught in his throat, as if he was trying to maintain unfazed by the interaction. He let out a sigh of relief when you gripped him firmly, bringing your hand back and forth a few times. He felt heavy in your hand, your eyes flashed between his dick and his eyes.

“Open up for me.” Rusty grabbed the base of your neck and pulled you even closer to him. you opened your mouth, stuck your tongue out and narrowed your eyes up at him. He gripped his hand on the back of your head tighter and brought your lips to the tip of his cock. You licked the tip before eagerly sucking down on it. He released his hand, and a moan escaped his lips, it was low and sweet. You sucked in a breath before reaching his base, your nose almost touching his stomach. His hand went back to your head, almost steadying himself from the pleasure. Rusty started moving your mouth back and forth over his dick, making you take it all the way in and then out again. Your eyes watered and you blinked it away, your vision blurred of the man above you. Rusty pulled you off his dick, you looked up at him again with glassy eyes, he looked down with lust filled ones and bent down to help you up. Before giving you time to breathe, he kissed you again, his tugged your waist toward him.

You started walking backwards to your bedroom, a flicker of thought went to your fiancé but it dissipated as Rusty’s hand snaked down and grabbed at your ass, pulling and spanking as you entered your bedroom. You let him push you back on your bed, standing over you as he stripped down to his underwear. You watched through lusty eyes, unable to stop yourself from biting your lip as you saw his abs. You sat up and tore off your shirt, you weren’t wearing a bra, so you covered yourself out of self-consciousness as Rusty crawled to you on the bed and grabbed your thighs, pulling you closer to him. He pinned your hands above your head and admired your boobs, kissing down your chest, to your belly and kissed once on your cunt.

“Do you have a condom?” You asked in a rush, like this wasn’t your place.

Rusty shook his head as he hooked your legs over his shoulder and lined himself up anyway. You had stopped taking birth control a while ago, not that it mattered as you and Dom hadn’t been intimate in more than a month or two. You sucked in a deep breath as Rusty pushed in slowly, a gasp was knocked from you as he bottomed out, moaning as he did. At the angle he was at, he only had to thrust slightly, and he was so deep inside of you. His dick brushed your g-spot easily and you moaned out, urging him to thrust deeper and harder. You moaned, pulling his closer to you as he thrusted faster into you.

“I’m not going to last long.” He groaned in your ear, you only moaned back, not caring, he felt too good you just wanted as much as he would give. He sat back on his calves and grabbed your hips, lifting and them towards him as he thrusted into you. You moved your hips back against his, meeting his thrusts with your own. You swore when he crushed his body back against yours, he thrusted harder into you. It took you by surprise, you didn’t expect him to be gentle, but his brutal thrusts knocked the wind out of you, all you could do is lie there and take it. His hand slithered down to your clit again and you tensed, feeling the coil in your stomach getting ready to snap again, you whined, spurring him on.

“Come on honey, I know you’ve got another one for me.” He was so sure of himself, it made you believe him. And how could you not when he felt so good inside of you, he rubbed once more before pinching your clit and you whimpered. He did it again and you almost screamed, the elastic snapped, and your orgasm washed over you. It was more powerful than the first and your cunt throbbed as Rusty thrusted into you for the final time before he groaned, lazily thrusting as his seed spilled into you. He stayed inside of you for a minute, catching his breath.

Everything dawned on you at once. Tonight had to be a one-time thing. But you knew with Rusty it was never going to be that way. You weren’t even sure if the lines existed anymore.  

[e-vay]

so… i turn thirty this year & after two failed relationships, im unsure how to have hope i’ll ever find my “person”. Ive been following you for a long time… how did you have hope that you’d eventually find someone and have a happy relationship?

If this is too intense or personal to ask, dont worry i just,,, i dont know. Its a struggle to feel like i’ll ever find The One and i know you went through something similar so… maybe you’d just have advice?

Thank you,,, i hope youre having an amazing night ❤️

I don’t mind you asking me this. If talking about the hard times I went through can help others get through it, I think it’s worth discussing. 

Like you said, I also struggled with love for a long time and after a few devastating relationships I gave up on dating altogether for a while. But, in hindsight, that ended up being a blessing because I was able to spend time bettering myself and—most importantly—learn to love myself. Yes, having a partner can make our lives richer, but I think it’s important to be able to enjoy your own company. Before, I thought the void inside of me needed to be filled by another person, so I would go out of my way to find somebody to do that without actually worrying whether or not they were the correct fit for me. Having time to focus on myself made me a better person (I think), and it ultimately ended up being for the best because I no longer felt like I was less than. Of course, I would still feel lonely from time-to-time and I’ve always been a romantic so I love the idea of love, but I got to the point where I felt fulfilled enough on my own so that when I met my now-husband, the feeling was significantly different. It wasn’t “I need to put this person in the hole that is my heart so that I can crawl my way up out of this pit,”... It was instead “Oh, this person significantly ADDS to the joy in my life” and that’s one of the reasons why he stood out to me as a partner. Though I would have liked to have met my husband sooner in life, honestly? Had we met sooner, before I matured and improved myself, we likely wouldn’t have worked out. I'm not saying you need to improve yourself. I'm just saying that that's what helped me and ended up giving me hope.

I also think society gives us too many unrealistic expectations and goals that we’re expected to meet by certain “deadlines”. Everybody moves at their own pace and has their own journey that’s unique to them. We can’t all be expected to follow the same linear path; humans are just too different. I was my husband’s very first girlfriend and he was 36 years old when we started dating. But when I’ve asked him if he’s upset/disappointed he never had a relationship before meeting me, he’s told me “No, I think we met when we were supposed to.”

Lastly, I want to address my personal beliefs on “The One.” Y’all know I’m a romantic and I do believe in soulmates, but I also believe we’re capable of having more than one soulmate. The world is too big for us to be limited to the chance of only ever finding one single person who is compatible for us. And if we miss out on meeting that one person, our chance of love is shot??? I just don’t believe that. When widows/widowers remarry, does that diminish the love they had for their late spouse? Of course not. It doesn’t mean their first love wasn’t just as important and meaningful as their new love. So, maybe you could find it helpful if you adopt this mindset as well. I think it makes the idea of romance seem less impossible.

I don’t know if this makes you feel any better but at the very least I hope you don’t feel worse for having read it! I don’t know you personally, but I wish you absolute happiness.

It's going to be okay 🙂

[niningtori]

to know him is to love him, and i do | chapter three: i'm not all bad, right?

pairing(s): choi beomgyu x you, kang taehyun x you

summary: you love beomgyu more than anything. you just wish he loved you, too. or you finally break up with beomgyu and move on, but as for him? maybe he's starting to realize too little too late.

genre: romance, angst, angst with a happy ending (?)

word count: 2.1k

notes: hi friends! i don't have much to say this time around besides the fact that i just want to thank user zzhyuu for helping me edit this (´∀｀)♡

if you were to ask beomgyu if he loved his ex mere months ago, he'd say he didn't know for sure, but probably. they ended things rather messily, which seems to be a trend for him, but if he really thinks about it, he doesn't know what he liked about her after all. if he had to pinpoint it, he liked the thrill of the chase and the idea of never knowing how explosive things would inevitably get between the two of them. he liked the toxicity. he liked the idea of breaking somebody and being broken in return. only now does he understand that that wasn't love at all, but some sort of sick game of hurting and being hurt he doesn't — he can't — play anymore. he doesn't want to hurt the people around him any longer, especially not you, but it would appear that that sentiment has presented itself a little too late. 

there's always been a lot to love about you. always. you're so kind and so incredibly patient, at least with the people you love. you're thoughtful and intentional with your words and actions. you're not perfect, but you try your best to be a good and fair person. and you listen. like, really listen. the kind of listening where you're not just waiting for your turn to talk, but the kind where you genuinely want to know what the other person has to say. even if he didn't know it at the time, beomgyu always did love you. was it in the way you deserved? obviously, with the way things are now, it's perfectly clear that it was not. 

even if he does bump into you, it's completely pointless. you made it perfectly clear that you want nothing to do with him anymore. the last thing you said to him echoes in his head with an unspeakable viciousness. "i'm sorry you feel that way." he didn't realize just how cruel those words were until they were falling from your lips instead of his. he didn't realize just how cruel he was in general. 

he ponders over how succinctly you summed up your entire dynamic: "i don't understand why i have to explain basic human emotion to you and i really don't understand why i have to beg and plead for you to care about how i feel!" to be honest? he doesn't understand why you had to do that, either. 

contrary to what one might suppose about him given his overall shitty personality, he had actually had a pretty good go at life. he was innately able to make the world sit and watch him go, and he wouldn't let anyone forget it. but what should he do since you don't want to watch him anymore? what should he do since you don't want anything to do with him anymore? 

as he sits in the extremely uncomfortable chair of his new least favorite bar, he's confronted by this truth over and over again. he's not completely sure why he's even here — he hates this place, but he remembers you mentioning you liked to come here. in hindsight, there's no doubt that that was a way to hint that you'd like to come with him, but what use is it to recognize it now, after all this time? 

not much, apparently. or at least that's what his conscience is telling him. he should leave, he thinks. he should stop coming here every night hoping he'll run into you because it's wrong to make you uncomfortable when you've said in no uncertain terms that you don't want him anymore. he should, he should, he should. and he will, really. in just a minute. that's what he tells himself, but he just watches the door as he drinks himself dry.

he's on the brink of literally passing out when he hears a sound he'd recognize anywhere: your laugh. he actually thinks he's hallucinating just because he wants to hear it so fucking badly, but it takes the sound of your voice to convince him it's real. you're actually here. he's incredibly drunk, so the idea of being tactful escapes him. he can't miss this chance.

-

you try, and try, and try some more, but you can't seem to forget beomgyu's last words to you. he loves you? you scoff at the idea. does he even know what love is? it doesn't feel like it. truly, it doesn't. if that's what his love feels like, you'd rather not feel it at all. 

that's what you keep trying to hammer into your head along with the idea that you're doing well. and you are doing well. seriously. things with taehyun are better than ever and you can really see yourself building a life with him. everything feels so pure and brand new. your feelings for him may lack the intensity that you felt with beomgyu, but you had known him for years. it's only fair that you nurture the love that's blossoming between the two of you while smothering out the embers of what used to be with beomgyu. it's only right, right? it should be, but the way you're so torn makes your brain hurt.

so you decide to go to your favorite bar and forget about everything for the night. it's been a long while since you've let loose and you're excited. you're surrounded by your friends and you're ready to let go. it's only when you excuse yourself to get some fresh air that you realize fate has other plans. 

when you're walking to the curb to take a seat, you feel a tug on your elbow and whip around. if there's some creep trying to get with you, there will be hell to pay. 

"who the f—" you stop dead in your tracks as your eyes meet with beomgyu's misty ones. the ones you used to love so much. 

"hey," he says weakly.

"what do you want?" you ask venomously while harshly yanking your elbow from his grasp. his lips purse and even in the dim lighting outside of the bar, you can see his eyes water even more. he's always been such a baby when he's drunk. 

"i just wanna talk," he pleads. he sounds so out of it and looks so pathetic you almost feel bad for him. almost.

"i have nothing to say to you," you reply coldly. 

"but i do." he sounds desperate to a degree that you sincerely never thought you'd hear.

"what, are you gonna tell me you love me again?"  you retort with a roll of your eyes. you're obviously being sarcastic, but all he can think in his drunken state is how pretty your eyes shine, even when they're impatient to look away from him.

"if you're not gonna say anything, i'm leaving —" you snap, turning away, but beomgyu is awoken from his daze and gently pulls you back.

"n-no! i mean, yes. i love you, b-but that's not what i wanted to say."

"well, what did you want to say?" you ask, tone laced with annoyance. seeing that you'll actually give him a chance to hear him out, he scrambles to pull out his phone. you're confused for a few seconds before he pulls up his notes app and you see an alarmingly huge chunk of text. what the fuck?

"i-i wrote this for you," he says tremblingly — so anxious that the hand that holds his phone is visibly shaking. you cock your eyebrow when he clears his throat and begins.

"i was so, so inconsiderate of how you felt, and didn’t treat you with a lot of respect as a person, let alone as a partner. i didn't understand how hurt you would be by the things i did or didn't do. in a way, i still don't think i understand just how fully how i treated you affected you. especially when you were so hurt by me. especially when you’d hold onto those feelings for so long, whether you wanted to hold them or not. it's unbelievable to me that you stayed with me for as long as you did, a-and it’s a testament to your willpower, your resolve, and how much you really do — or did — love me. i don’t think i ever appreciated your love like i do now. i... i don’t know if i appreciate it fully even as i write this. 

when i last saw you, i thought you were being cruel, but looking back, i can’t blame you. i can only admire you for not being worse, actually. roles reversed, i definitely would have been. i-i'm starting to understand how you must have felt, and why you probably want me to feel how you felt in the past. i know you think i am the one who owes you, and i do. i really owe you a lot. i owe you more than you ever asked me for.

so i want to make it up to you. i really do. and i'm hoping that i can really change. i'm – i just miss you so much i can't stand it anymore. i-if you don’t feel the same way, or don’t care, or however it is, i understand. but i meant it when i said i love you, and i mean it now when i say that i'm so, so incredibly sorry," his voice cracks as he finishes and hot tears threaten to find their way down his face. 

"beomgyu..." you begin, not really sure what to say. what can you say? and any hope he has of being with you is almost extinguished when he sees how much you pity him in this moment, but he'll hold on for as long as you'll let him.

"you said you saw the real me. you know i'm not all bad, right? i'm a piece of shit, but i can't be all bad," he pleads, tears now streaming unabashedly from his eyes. maybe if he can just find the right words, you won't leave him.

"beomgyu," you sigh, "i've never thought that about you. i know you're not all bad," his face perks up at this and he's tempted to bury his face in your neck and sob in pure relief. the pain he's been feeling for the past few months is about to be over because you understand him. always have. even though he's like this, you can still see the good in him. just the thought alone is enough to fill him with pure ecstasy. he goes to close the distance between the two of you to pull you into his embrace, but you gently place your hand on his chest before he can come any closer.

"thank you for telling me how you feel, beomgyu, but if you think you can fix everything with a few words from your notes app, you're delusional." his face crumbles at this and a sense of panic and dread pools in his stomach.

"w-what? b-but you said —" 

"i know you're sorry and i know you'd probably try to make it up to me if i let you, but that's not enough. you really hurt me, okay? and it's just, you know, i'm finally happy now. and i have taehyun. i really like him, beomgyu. and he really likes me," you say with a fond smile, as if you're thinking of taehyun right now, and his heart shatters into a million pieces. the former him would probably be throwing a tantrum right now, but he said he'd change for you, so he says what you'd never expect him to.

"it's okay," he smiles bitterly, tears still flowing freely. "i... i understand. i just want you to be happy. i want you to be so happy. you deserve it."

"but..."

"go back in," he sniffs. "you don't need to stay here with me anymore." he swipes at his eyes with his sleeve and tries to send you off with a smile, but it's so forlorn you wish he'd just keep frowning.

"... okay." you turn away, and even though he told you to do it, he can't help but feel an even bigger lump in his throat now that you're actually listening to him.

"beomgyu?" you say softly, before you enter the door. 

his damned heart can't help but flutter again against his will. 

"yes?" 

"don't wait for me anymore, okay?" how are you so cruel but so merciful at the same time? he should say okay, but the ugly and selfish part of him refuses to lie, so he just shakes his head and waves you off. his love is ugly and his heart is broken, but it's still yours to have. 

"I'm sorry," he murmurs again to nobody but himself as you enter the bar.

notes pt. 2: the next chapter will be the final chapter. it will probably be relatively short, so keep that in mind. anyway, feedback is always appreciated :)

masterlist

[bluebedo]

I can't stop imagining all of the robins as parents so I'm gonna make y'all cry with me:

Dick, finally with a baby of his own rather than ones Bruce latches on to, is perfect. He knows how to soothe them, how to love them, and he will stop at nothing to protect them. His babies almost never cry in his arms, he's a master of changing diapers, and he even manages to balance being a father with being Nightwing. To anyone on the outside, he is perfection, as the first Robin always has been. Inside, he feels his heart break every time his baby trips and he stays up, late at night, watching the baby monitor, terrified that he'll lose it forever. Somebody will reset the timeline or the Joker will find his apartment or he'll simply blink and they'll be gone. He's so scared of losing another child - like how he lost Jason and Steph and Damian. He can't let that happen to this precious ball of sunshine.

When Jason first makes eye contact with his baby, he isn't sure how he feels. Sure, his heart flutters and his eyes start to tear up, but he's not sure that paternal feeling has kicked in yet. He tries his best (he may not be as outwardly perfect as Dick but he tries) and he acts as the good dad that he never got, in both Willis and in Bruce. As much as he learned that they loved him, they never did it the right way. Jason's always seen his way as the right way, in both crime and parenting, and he'll be damned if this kid gets involved in the vigilante business. Even if he isn't sure he loves the kid yet, he's protective. It isn't until a rogue makes a throwaway comment or his young daughter finds his guns for the first time that he realises that is love. His way of loving is simply protecting, not doting. He loves his baby. He finally cries when he realises.

Tim has no idea what to do. Jason seems to have eventually gotten the hang of it and Dick seemed to have always been a great dad from the moment his kid was born, but Tim? He sees that baby in the crib and, though his heart lurches to reach out and hug her and pepper her face with kisses, promising her the world, he finds himself frozen. Because how is that baby his? How did he survive long enough to live? His baby is solid proof that he can make a difference in this world outside of being Red Robin and that terrifies him. He's given a chance to be Tim Drake-Wayne rather than just the third Robin and he doesn't know what to do with that. He tries, like Jason does, but he's certain he fails where it matters. Raising a kid isn't maths and logic it's compromise and emotions and Red Robin wasn't trained for that. Tim wasn't trained for this.

Steph has been a mother much longer than the others have been fathers. Dick may have been the first to show Batman his child, to give his baby a name, to learn how to change a diaper, but Steph was the first to be a parent. If she ever has another kid (because it's not a definite for her like it may be for the others, she refuses to let it be a definite) she knows exactly how she'll care for them. She'll hold them, she'll love them, she'll kiss them goodnight, she'll take them to all their dance or karate lessons, she'll go to every recital, she'll take embarrassing pictures on prom night, and she'll be there through thick and thin, highs and lows. If Steph ever let herself go through that pain again, this time, she's never letting go.

Damian... Something clicks. He looks at his baby for the first time and the frown that was stuck on his face the moment he learnt he was having one melts away. In one singular moment he understands why Bruce was always so harsh on him, why Bruce tried his hardest to keep Jason around, why Bruce never ever gave up on any of the rogues, nor any of his fellow Bats. The moment Damian got something as precious to him as the robins and batgirls were to Bruce, he understood. And he never looked back. If he happens to adopt his own personal army of children, a carbon copy of his own father with a couple amendments, then that's future Damian's problem. Well, or Alfred's.

[wellmetmat]

There's a post from a couple of years ago which I was reminded of and wanted to add to today, about nobody wanting to take the supplicant role in courtship, but it's unrebloggable due to some constraint the OP put on it, so I'll just quote my bit:

Being attracted to someone is distressing. I think the largest part of it is hunger to know someone (?); but when you can’t get to know them well, it ends up a stunted obsession: all that drive-to-know - enough to build a deep, detailed model of another personality - chewing over scraps of phrases and trivial actions, until you’re snappishly bored with your own mind. Your skin feels hungry and there’s nothing you can do about it: “touch starvation” is a phrase that comes to mind. The person’s absence and their presence both hurt: absence obviously, presence because once you’re there you find that there’s still distance, you still miss them. It’s rather like homesickness. Courting someone is wretched. It’s frightening and humiliating and full of agonising waiting periods and jarring mood switchbacks. It feels something like being dragged along on a fishhook, with the line attached to another person’s little finger. Liking someone more than they like you is a position of low power. The incentives are to be servile. You have nothing to bargain with: whatever they decide, you agree to with a smile. You always try to sound happy, because that’s what’s most appealing. You give up on areas of confusion instead of trying to understand, because asking questions annoys people and any annoying act pushes you closer to the cliff-edge of losing them. Any small disagreement feels like a large risk, so you distort your own opinions a bit. You can’t be spontaneous; your inner voice is always tallying accounts: how many days since the last message, too few, you mustn’t bother them yet / how many days since you came up with something interesting, too many, they may forget; don’t intrude so much, but simultaneously what have you done for them lately, how can you provide value to justify remaining in their life. It seems bad that we’re like this. I don’t imagine humans are especially badly formed or anything, it’s probably just as subjectively rotten for every animal that does courtship displays. But if anyone eventually makes robots with emotion-like motivational systems, they shouldn’t include anything like attraction. It’s so silly.

I feel like resurrecting this today to celebrate being out of it. In the last two weeks, somebody has given me the double gifts of liking me and of having the generosity to say so, and show so. All I want to do is be glad and be grateful, and try never to cause this person to experience anything described above.

But I stand by the description, it is a correct description, and we are so badly made it is infuriating. @nohoperadio's good post on the tragic stupidity of pain incidentally also works as a discourse on eros: if there'd been any intelligence involved in the design process, distress signals would come with an off-switch! (Hence my blog tagline.) But instead, evolution is a pitiless idiot, love is humiliation, nonviable attachments take years to starve to death, and there is no moral of the story. Absurd. A baboon could design a better emotional constitution.

Delightfully, this week ACX introduced David Pearce ("For centuries, philosophers have praised suffering as a necessary part of the human condition. For decades, David Pearce has told those other philosophers that they are bad and wrong"), who is doing his best to make a better emotional constitution available, and I approve of such a project so highly that it's been necessary to stack new levels of approval above my previous maximum to encompass how right he is. It's really exciting that any intelligent and active person considers progress of this sort possible and is working on it.

[eeunoia]

ENHYPEN Series

sinag — psh.

chapter seven

pairings: park sunghoon x reader

synopsis: waiting for a great plot twist in your life, the ruthless and powerful mafia boss park sunghoon forced his way in to it.

word count: 2.6k

warnings: contains harrassment, violence, guns, killings, abuse, obsessive love & other stuff. if you can't take this stuff, feel free to scroll away. let me know if i missed some.

note: i’m not sure if the story is slowburn, but i wil take my time with sinag. anyway, thank you so much for reading. replies & reblogs will be appreciated. ily, stay safe.

eeunoia 2024 © all rights reserved.

“I admire your dedication and how brave you are, really. At a young age you managed to start building your empire. Honestly, I’m impressed.” he stated and then took a puff from his thick expensive tabaco.

“But we’ve been in partnership with the Kwons for years already, Mr. Park.” the old business man with so much influence stated while sitting in front of Sunghoon.

The young mafia boss smirks, back leaning over his swivel chair. He looked relaxed and confidence ooze from him, mainly why despite the age difference, the men he gathered today gave him respect. He’s known for being so impulsive and often take risks when it comes to business. Wreckless, if someone will describe it at one word. But God, is he good at it. He clearly knows what he’s doing.

“Exactly...” he starts and tilts his head while eyeing each and everyone of them. “you’ve been partnered with the Kwons and yet no development. You are still there. Making money, yes. But not growing.” his words were precised making them speechless.

They eyed each other and that statement obviously left something in them. He was right anyway. The silence stretched for five minutes before one reached over his pen and signed the contract in front of him. The others watched with utter shock on their faces.

Sunghoon’s smirk grew in victory before he stood up to shake hand with his new investor/partner. With the lead of his first alliance, the others gradually followed and signed his contract as well. It was a sure victory for him again. Another gain for him and a lost to the Kwons. He won’t stop until he stripped them off of everything they have. They kept on going on his way and so he needs to get rid of them.

The meeting ends smoothly and after everyone left the conference room, Sunghoon stood in front of the big clear windows and stared at the view of city lights beneath him. It was relaxing, makes him forget about being frustrated in the continuous failure of searching for you.

“There you are," he craned his neck and looked over his shoulder when he heard somebody talked.

Jake stood by his door, his coat off and only left with his white longsleeves polo that he wears under it. It seems like his friend had a long day of work as well. What else does he even do other than bury himself with paperworks and make more money despite having many of them already?

“I thought you’re in Italy?” Sunghoon turns back and once again looked over the view while asking his friend.

He heard the sound of a chair moving, maybe he sat down.

“That was the other day. I got back last night.” he stated and he only responded with a nod.

Sunghoon has a lot of things in his mind lately. His plan on making the Kwon fall apart, expanding his empire and of course, to find you. That’s the most important thing in his list. The most highlighted one, the priority.

“Do you think I’m really losing my mind like how they’re implying?” he suddenly blurted out that caught Jake’s attention. He watched how his friend blankly stared outside the windows.

He wanted so bad to tell him that he had found you. That you aren’t just a hallucinations created by his mind, but a true person. But he knew well more than to distract him from what he should acquire first.

Freedom.

Sunghoon may seem like he’s free as he usually do everything he pleases, but no. He knows that himself. Even if how many times he reject and deny it, he’s in fact attached to his Father’s shadow. He’s part of his dark past that will always find a way to hunt him. He needed to be even more successful without being aligned or connected to him. He needs to stand up on his own feet, til the day that his Father won’t be mentioned every time he succeed on something. Until he proved everyone he don’t need his glorious name and influence in the mafia world to be well known. To be feared.

Jake sighs and stood up before trudging closer to his friend. He clapped his shoulder once before sliding his hands inside his pockets then joined him on watching the busy city beneath them.

“No.” he simply answered.

It was just a one word answer. It may mean nothing or unsincere for some, but for Sunghoon that means a lot already. Jake Sim is the type of person who never lies. His honestly in terms of business had been applied even outside his workplace. He knew Jake won’t say words just to make him feel better. He’s his friend. He will say the most hurtful things if he knew Sunghoon needs to hear it.

“But I’ve searched everywhere already. Maybe they’re all right? That I’m insane for looking for someone who might actually didn’t exist.” his eyes dark and sad.

Jake was there ever since day one. Since the day he started to look for you. He’ll be honest, before he can even found you he thought his friend was just hallucinating. Or maybe he mixed someone’s face with someone and suddenly came up with a new face if that’s believable enough to stop him from searching.

But the way his eyes looked so hopeful and excited whenever a new information about your whereabouts came, indicates how serious he is with you. He’d never seen his friend like that ever since. He never looked more alive. And so he believed and he never failed.

He claps his friend’s shoulder. “The world is bigger than you think, Sunghoon. We’re going to find her.” he stated seriously.

“You’re going to see her soon.” he added, eyes looking at him meaningfully.

Sunghoon nods his head and smiles a little. “You’re right. I’m going to see her soon.”

Sunghoon is busy reviewing some paperworks when someone suddenly burst his door open. It was so hard that it made a loud sound. He seemed unfazed about it and lifts his head up to meet the person who dares to disturb him.

A grin appeared his face as he settles the folder down his office table. The view of raging Mr. Kwon just makes him feel funny.

“I don’t think you set an appointment with me today, Mr. Kwon.” he taunts that made the man even more mad.

“How dare you steal my investors from me?! Is this your way of starting a war with me?” he sighed heavily, trying to calm himself even if its no use. He was obviously very mad, face red and hand clenched into fists.

“You are just a kid. You don’t know who you’re dealing with.”

His statements almost made Sunghoon laugh at his face. He looked pathetic in his eyes. It didn’t even made him scared.

He sighs and slowly leans his back over his swivel chair then sat comfortably in a dominating position. He saw how it added fuel to the firing rage of Mr. Kwon.

“I already warned you, didn’t I?”

Sunghoon’s smirk faded and he stared at him with blank face. He stood up and struts closer to him and he stopped infront of Mr. Kwon. He puts his hands inside his pocket and stood proudly. The amount of power and confidence oozing from him are unmeasurable. It made Mr. Kwon a little anxious, but he tries his best not to look scared. After all, fear is what makes the hunt for predators more fun.

“Get out of my fucking way my way.” he said sternly that left the older man speechless and stoned to his position.

Sunghoon tilts his head, “Take it as a warning.” he turns his back and went close to his table to click on the intercom.

“Escort Mr. Kwon out of my office. We are done talking.” and he gave another look on him before going back to his table.

On the other hand, Jake and Ni-ki are on their way to the company where you’re working at. It’s been almost three weeks since you started your job and he just wants to check on you. Make sure everything is all right and smooth for your advantage.

“Are you really sure its her, hyung?”

“Riki, you’ve checked it yourself. You already digged some informations that clearly matched her with the same girl Sunghoon was talking about back in that country.” Jake sounded like he’s slowly losing patience with his friend.

The younger one nods, “Ah right. It’s just still fascinating for me. She did really exist.” he says amused.

“Sunghoon hyung is not crazy!”

Jake grinned and scoffed before swatting the younger one's shoulder. He whined a little, but still pull his teasing grin.

“He might actually go crazy if he don’t see her.” Jake added after a big sigh.

“This is a slap on Jay hyung’s face. He always teases Hoon hyung about her.”

“You cannot tell him.”

“I won’t, don’t worry!”

“You better.” Jake says as a warning.

Ni-ki raised his right hand and even crossed his heart in joking way. He looked extra excited so Jake reminded him that they won’t really show themselves to you. They just went there to observe and to check on how are you doing lately.

“When do you plan on making them meet?” Ni-ki asked, again curious to what’s about to unfold.

Jake shrugged his shoulders off. “Probably soon.”

“Next month?”

“Not that soon. Sunghoon still have a lot of things on his plate.”

The younger one nodded, understanding the situation despite feeling impatient. He couldn’t deny it but he wants so bad to know how will his Sunghoon hyung reacts once he saw you.

“So our job is to babysit for him?”

Jake chuckles on the way he describe what they’re currently doing.

”Yes.” he answered.

“What do I get in return?” the sly smirk on his face obviously shows why he’s their maknae.

Jake rolled his eyes. “Do you always need something in return? He’s our friend.”

“Business is business, hyung.” he shrugs his shoulders. “And besides, you got a check from hyung!” and even knudge his shoulder.

Jake chuckles. “Let’s first make sure she will be safe until the time they meet and maybe Hoon will gift you something.”

“Do you think he will give me another private plane?” he wonders.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Good morning, Aelia!” your head lifts from fixing your uniform and search for the person who greeted you.

A wave is what you respond to them with your warm smile. It’s been weeks ever since you started and so far you’re enjoying your work. The people in the office are nice and friendly. You can say you have a better office environment compared to your previous workplace.

“Hi, Aelia!” another one greets you and stood still beside each other.

“Hello, good morning.” cheeks tinted a bit red, feeling shy.

“How’s your sleep? I saw you going out from the building pretty late. Overtime?” he asks, eyes never leaving you. As far as you remember, he’s part of the Finance Department. Their floor is just below yours and he oftens visit your floor whenever they have to breakdown some office expenses.

“Yes.” you shortly replied.

He didn’t seem bothered by your response and was about to ask more when a bunch of other employees enters the elevator.

When his floor tings, he glanced at your direction one last time then waved. You gave him a nod and he left. It’s not that you’re being rude or anything, you just really don’t know how to deal with men right now. It still make you uncomfy and anxious sometimes.

The moment you arrived your floor, a crowd of early employees are gathered over by the side. A pout made its way over your lips as curiosity struck you. They seemed so hook to whatever that is that they’re talking about. You have to walk by them in order to go to your office and when you’re near enough, one of them noticed you.

“Ohh! Miss Aelia!” she called and smiled brightly over you before heading your way.

You waved because she’s so adorable. She’s part of your team and you can say that she’s very nice.

“I told you to just call me Aelia, Clara.”

She giggled and stalked behind when you walk towards your office, ignoring the crowd of employees all circled early morning.

You sets down your things at your office table before taking off your long coat. Clara watches you with a small smile.

“What’s with the crowd? It’s very early for that, don’t you think?” finally found the courage to ask about it.

“Oh!” she exclaims and glanced over them once before looking back at you. “Should I tell them off? I can go and—”

“No, no!” you are quick to refrain her from doing so. She stopped her tracks and faced you with a little surprise look.

“It’s fine, let them be. Its not yet office hours anyway, so its totally fine.” and you end it with a warm smile. She nods and eyes settles over you.

“They’re actually watching the footage of the shootout that happened last night.” she suddenly says.

Your brows narrowed and glanced at her direction, confusion mirroring your expression.

“Shoot out?”

She nods again, “Yes! There’s a lot of people who died last night. I bet its because of those mafia families again...” her eyes looked terrified just by the mere mention of that word. She held her arms together, like giving herself a hug and shivers.

“I still can’t believe mafias really exists. It gives me chills.” she mumbles and you fell silent.

Memories of that night starts to flows back in your mind. Suddenly, you can remember that cold, silent night that still gives you nightmares from time to time. You cleared your throat and glanced back at Clara.

“Why isn’t it on the news? What did the goverment even doing?”

She pouts and shook her head, “The government can’t do anything about it. Those families are very powerful that even the police doesn’t want to get involve.” she states in a low tone.

“I heard it was Park Sunghoon last night.” she added and her eyes flashes fear. “Even by just hearing his name, I’m already shaking.”

You’ve heard his name before and never once with a good news. A lot of people fears him and often describes him as someone ruthless. Well, that ain’t a surprise from a mafia. Sometimes, you wonder how he looks like. Is he old? Probably, right? If he’s this powerful and influencial already then he must have been aged.

“I just really hope I can avoid encountering any of them.” she states.

You pout and nodded in agreement. That’s the best way to avoid trouble and to keep your precious life. They said there’s a lot of temptations that comes along with getting involve with people like them. Money is one of the common temptress. Something that people cannot ignore instantly.

“Me too, Clara. I will do my best to avoid getting involve with them.”

main master-list

permanent taglist:

@rubyanne @map-of-border @hwangjangmi @love13tter @candewlsy @simpforniki @classicroyalty @bridgebridgebirdiebridge @hime98 @moonsclassyslore @ddeonubaby @yeoungie @acciomylove @mymeloem19 @jvngw0n @dreamjerky @minamoons @clar-iii @herasalvatore @nyfwyeonjun @rcveribin @yizhoutv @one16core @soobin-chois @kyutiepeachy @chareadingpurposes @hwalllllllelujah @solelyenha @90sni-ki @nourhan-8 @nikipedia07 @yangbreads @drunkjazed @kimmchijjajang @hoonbrry @axartia @all4haru @sta-rie @hiqhkey @purplepuppychild @iceeee @wtfhyuck @tobiosbbyghorl @nikililmj @moonlightisland @ayayiiie @aeyeree

sinag taglist:

@heeseung-min @lovingvoidgoatee @dimplewonie

[daughterofcain-67]

🅦hαt 🅞ncє 🅦αs 🅜ínє

(Dean Winchester x Reader)

(Part 2) (Part 3)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You and Dean have been close for the past couple of years but you have hunting with them for the past few. You notice that he has seemed off when he came back from Purgatory and all you wanted to do was help. After an argument breaks out- you leave for about a year with a secret you can’t afford to tell.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: some spoilers - some may be MAJOR spoilers, read at your own risk (seasons 6-8, I believe: MAY NOT BE ACCURATE), a brief mention of a night of intimacy but no graphic detail. This story does not follow along with any specific episode

Your heart raced with adrenaline from the last hunt you were on with the Winchester brothers. It was a tough one too and it didn't help that you had been worried about Dean the entire time. You had been with the Winchesters for the past three years. However, there was a shift between the two of you ever since he came back from Purgatory.

You noticed that he had become lost in a way - especially since Cass was gone. You knew that Purgatory was almost like a Hell for Dean since he seemed to feel a sort of guilt. But he wouldn't talk to you about it and you couldn't read his mind. You felt like you were drifting apart.

You remembered the night that Dean finally came back. You knew that Sam had moved on and tried to make a life for himself. But you couldn't move on so easily. You knew at the time he had just moved on from Lisa, then the job got busier and busier with the Leviathan. Then the next thing you knew he was in Purgatory for so long and you never got to tell him how you truly felt.

At least, not until the night that he finally came back.

You remembered the way he looked all roughed up after he came back. How handsome he was, but maybe it was just because you were just so glad that he was back. One thing lead to another and you ended up spending a passionate night together and it was a night you could never forget.

Even if at this moment you were trying so hard not to, especially considering the current circumstances you were in personally. For the past several weeks you were carrying Dean's child. You didn't know how to tell him and a part of you knew he couldn't handle it with everything going on.

"Dean, what the hell is going on with you? I know you went through a lot of crap in Purgatory, and I know you must be missing Cass a hell of a lot right now. We all do! But if you can't get your head on straight or at least talk to somebody, you might end up getting yourself killed one day because you can't focus!" You tried your best to explain.

"Don't act like you know how the hell I handle what's in my head, Y/N." He stated with a growl. "You don't know half the shit I've been through. You weren't there when I was in Hell. You weren't there when Lucifer took over Sam's mind. I know what I'm doing so why don't you stay the hell out of it!?"

"I can't stay out of it because I care about you! Sam cares about you! You know if Cass were here, he'd-"

"Don't you dare bring him up. You know, I should have just listened to Sam when you first came onto the scene." He said and rolled his eyes before he poured himself another glass of whisky.

"Listened to Sam? What was it that he said? Dean, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying you're nothing but a liability! You do nothing but get in the way! We should have never brought you on that very first hunt!" His words broke you to pieces. How long had he felt this way towards you? And everything you went through, did all of this mean nothing to him? You had done your best to be there for him and he just thought you were in the way the whole time?

You saw the instant regret on Dean's face after he said what he did but it was too late. You looked away from him and your eyes started to burn with tears that were starting to form

"Y/N, wait, I didn't mean-"

"Forget it, Dean. You want me gone, then I'll leave. I won't be in your way. You want to self destruct, fine. You have Sam to worry about you."

Then you packed your bags and left.

*************************************************

All of that happened about a year ago.

For a year you went through a pregnancy and a birth alone. You didn't have all of the answers. You didn't know how the hell you were supposed to take care of your little girl on your own. But you were doing everything you could by taking it one day at a time. That was all you could really do at this point.

Throughout the pregnancy you were working at a Walgreen's and you were living in a small apartment and trying your best to get by. You were doing well for the most part though. Better than living on the road and hopping from one hotel room to another.

Luckily, tonight you were able to have your day off. So you spent your time with your beloved daughter, Y/C/N. She had Dean's forest-green eyes and your hair color. She was only about three months old but you wanted to protect her from everything that was out there, especially since you knew what dangers were out there. If any demon, angel or monster found out there was a little Winchester- who knew what kind of horror would be after the last piece of Dean you had.

Once you had finished giving your baby girl her bath and gotten her dress on, you noticed some lights flickering in the room. That was instantly a red flag in your mind. Of course you knew all the ins and outs of hunting and keeping your home safe because of your experience with the Winchesters. And there were some occasions when it really was just a blown fuse and there was no sulfur left behind. But you were always cautious, and understandably so.

You held the baby close as you went to your room and you watched as the lights started to flicker again. You took the can of salt on your dresser and used your free hand to open it up and you put it on your windowsills, beneath the door, anywhere to prevent demons from coming in. And even if they did, you had a rug in front of your bedroom door that had a devil's trap beneath it so it wouldn't get to you or your daughter.

Suddenly, you hear your apartment door bust open and you start hearing all kinds of commotion like a fight was happening only for a demonic cry to be heard. You covered Y/C/N's ears and held onto her and you wondered what the hell was happening out there. Soon, though, you started hearing voices.

"I think that's all of them. Let's get back so I can be ready for work at the station by Monday." Was that Jodi? What are was she doing all the way out here.

"We have to see if she's here though. Who knows what can be out there looking for her." That sounded like Castiel. When did he come back? How did he come back!? Your mind was swirling with so many questions.

You slowly got out of the bed and walked over to the door. When you opened it you saw Cass and Jodi look towards your direction and you watched Jodi's eyes light up and a smile showed on her face.

"Y/N! You're safe! It's so good to see you." She said as she walked over and that was when she saw your little bundle of joy in your arms, "And who's this precious thing?"

"Jodi, Cass! It's really good to see you guys! This is Y/C/N. She's mu daughter." You introduced.

"Daughter? When did that happen? Do you have a boyfriend here?" Jodi began to ask and you shook your head at the last question.

"No boyfriend, and I found out about a year ago, and Half Pint here is three months. I've just been here trying to lay low so nothing finds us." You explained and you could feel the angel's gaze. When you glanced over, you knew he could tell what happened. And who knew what Dean told him when he came back. If he even went to Dean that is.

"Does Dean know?" It was an inevitable, and reasonable, question that you knew was bound to come up from Castiel. He knew of your feelings for the older brother, and he knew there seemed to be something unspoken between you two for a while before he went to Purgatory. Other than that, you didn't know if Dean filled him in on anything else.

"I didn't get the chance to tell him. I left after a fight we had. Something about how he shouldn't have let me tag along on the first hunt." You felt a soft hand on your shoulder and knew that it was Jodi.

"Why don't you both come and stay with me? It'll be a lot safer that way and at least you won't be on your own. Plus you wouldn't have to worry so much about monsters coming in without backup." The sheriff said and motioned to the salt on the windowsills.

You thought about it for a few moments and looked down at your daughter who was rubbing her eyes like she was tired. You had to think of what was best for her. You knew she didn't need a mom who was stretched thin with work then having to worry about hunting. It would be great to have the help. No one said that being a single mom was easy.

"Yeah, that would be great, Jodi. I appreciate it." You nodded

~

So much had been going on since you've left and it was like Sam and Dean couldn't get a rest. After Kevin took a Word of God from Crowley and have him translate the tablets to Sam having to complete certain trials that Dean knew he shouldn't be doing anyway. And that was the current thing on the Winchesters' agenda.

Too much has been going on and Dean was already getting so tired of all of it. There seemed to be no end to it but he knew he had to stay determined through all of it at least for his brother's sake. He's pretty much left behind the idea of retiring from this gig. He tried that once and of course the Apple Pie life fell through for him.

What sucks about it is that Dean didn't have you in his back corner anymore. You weren't there to be his 'new eyes' on a situation or bring some kind of positive to a situation. You weren't there to have little drinking competitions with him, remark on crappy television with him, you weren't there to take his mind off this job he was raised in.

And pushing you away was another item on his never-ending list of regret.

But of course, with all of the things he had on his plate and having to save the world yet again, he couldn't exactly showed just how much he had been thinking about you even if you've never left Dean's mind. And Sam knew it too.

Dean was sitting at one of the tables in the Bunker since that's where he and Sam have been living. He knew if you were here you'd probably make it a little more home-y. Lately he had been focusing on the trials that Sam had to face. He passed the first one but he knew this was going to take a toll on Sam. If he could trade places than he would, but Sam could be just as stubborn as Dean sometimes.

Dean looked over at the bottle of whisky before he picked it up and poured himself another glass before he opened up his laptop to do some research outside of these books. The first trial that Sam completes was bathe in hell hound blood. The next one was saving a soul from Hell. The final was to cure a demon and that would be a whole other ball game when the time came up. One thing at a time. He wasn't sure how his brother was supposed to do the next trial but he knew that Cass said Sam's health would decrease almost at a subatomic level.

While Dean was deep in his thoughts of this trial business, his phone started to ring unexpectedly.

Dean glanced over at his phone and saw Jodi's name and picture show up on his screen. An odd surprise since it's been a while since he had heard from her but he picked up the phone wondering if something was wrong and she needed some kind of help.

"Jodi? What's up?" He asked and took a sip of his whisky before setting the glass down on the table.

"Dean? It's Y/N... we need to talk."

Thank you all for reading!

This is my 1st mini series for Dean Winchester so thank you for taking am interest in reading this! If you liked this little story please feel free to comment or like it! Especially if you’d like to see a second part to this story to see if the reader will tell Dean about their daughter in the midst of what’s going on. 🖤

Tag List:

@chriszgirl92 @wildernessflora

[pearwaldorf]

I have been trying to write this on and off for a while. I figure the second anniversary of the show is as fine an occasion as any to shove it out into the world. It is not everything I want to say about it, but I think the important bits are there.

It is a human impulse to be seen. To be told, through art, you are not alone. It is universal, but of special importance to people who are not well-represented in media (i.e. everybody who isn’t cis, white, able-bodied, skinny, and conventionally attractive).   

This show speaks to me as a queer person who figured things out later than most of my peers. (Not quite as late as Ed and Stede but not terribly far off either.) It’s not super common to see queer media address this, and I didn’t realize how much I needed that reassurance until I got it. That it’s okay to find these things any time in your life. To be told “A queer is never late, they’re always fashionably on-time.” 

They’re not my first canon queer ship. But they are the first ones where I knew it was true from the get-go. Multiple people assured me this was the case. And yet, I still didn’t believe it until I saw it with my own two eyes. This experience is not unusual for fans around my age.  

After I finished up season one, I laid in bed and cried. It’s not something I thought would affect me so much, but it feels like a weight I’d carried so long I didn’t realize it wasn’t supposed to be part of me is gone.

One of the reasons people unfamiliar with the fandom seem to think it’s absolutely crazy (which some of it is, to be fair, but every fandom has that) is the way fans of the show get extremely super intense about it. It took me a few weeks to realize this is a trauma response. I’m not even sure “trauma” is the right word. It doesn’t interfere with my day to day function, but it lasted for years. Decades. So it was definitely something that fucked me up. And in the way you can only start to see something as you’re moving past it, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to get my head around this. (I don’t know if I have anything to say about it yet. Maybe I need more time to sit with it.)

I know this sounds contrary, but I’m really glad David Jenkins does not come from fandom. Sometimes it’s good to know where a line is, and others it’s better to not know there’s a line at all. And this is, sad to say, remarkable to somebody who has had to deal with this for so long. With so many writers and showrunners aware of the line, and getting right up next to it, but never crossing it.

Imagine doing a show with a queer romance and not understanding why this was received with such emotion and fervor, because it’s just two people in love right? What blissful ignorance that this needed to be explained to him! And then he listened to people’s experiences with queerbaiting, and went “Oh my god you thought I was going to do WHAT?” And then you go “Huh. That is really fucked up.” 

The problem with being told something enough, even though you know it’s wrong, is you start to believe it regardless. All the excuses and hedging. It’s so very difficult to do they tell us, when we hear from queer creators how they had fight tooth and nail to make it as gay as it already was. 

And then comes Jenks, just yeeting it out there: majority queer and (not and/or. and) POC cast, an openly non-binary person playing an openly non-binary character. The ability to not have to make one queer (and/or) POC character speak for everybody, so you can inject a tiny bit of nuance into the conversation. The way you can tell more kinds of stories, like the one where the smol angry internalized homophobe comes into his own with the support of a queer community, even though he was a giant fucking asshole to them before.

So many people were like “You can just DO that? It’s really that easy?” And wasn’t that a fucking Situation, to have that curtain pulled aside. What next? Majority POC casts with stories about POC written by POC? Absolute madness. (Please please watch The Brothers Sun on Netflix. It’s so fucking good.) 

And people will scoff and say “Of course a cishet(?) white man would be able to get this pushed through.” But do they usually? The thing I don’t think people understand about allies is they use their privilege to wedge the door open. You still have to do the work to get through, but at least you have a place to start. And it really fucking matters.

The press keeps trying to tell me The Completely Made-Up Adventures of Dick Turpin is the OFMD substitute we need while we float in the gravy basket. I’m sure it’s a perfectly fine show, but I don’t know who has watched OFMD and decided the itch we needed scratched was anachronistic historical comedy.

I want stories written by people that reflect their lived experiences, with actors and crew committed to bringing that to life. And I would like streamers and studios to commit to giving them a chance, and marketing them properly so people know they exist. 

You can keep people satisficed with scraps for only so long. At some point, somebody is going to give them a whole seven course dinner and people will wonder why they’ve been putting up with starving this entire time.

[middlenamesage]

MARS, the planet of ACTION: What type of exercise Mars in each sign makes me think of

Note: this is not necessarily advice about exercise to consider based on your Mars sign. So many things in the chart and the individual’s life will tweak the picture. Being that I’m a 6th house Mars who’s making it a goal lately to exercise daily (or most-daily😆) because I see the benefits for my mental and physical health of having intentional physical activity in my routine, this is just my musings on the type of exercise that comes to mind first/strongest when thinking about the archetypes of each sign. ✨

Mars in Aries- lifting weights/strength training 🏋️‍♀️ Mars at home! I thought about maybe also going with martial arts for this one! ❤️‍🔥 Mars/Aries does have a strong purpose for defense. As the first sign in the zodiac, Aries’ archetype is also that of a straightforward, more simple and direct energy. To simply get buff seems like quite the way to pay tribute to this potent combined yang energy! 💪

Mars in Taurus- Yoga 🧘🏽‍♂️ Taurus needs something at a bit slower of a physical pace, and the very conscientious attention yoga places on your relationship with your body is very Taurus/2nd house. Plus every Taurus rising I’ve ever known has been into meditation and/or yoga. 🤷‍♀️ Always looking for the calmest ways to do things! 🧘‍♀️

Mars in Gemini- Running 🏃🏻‍♀️ idk this just seems like a flighty Mars sign! 🏃‍♂️🚀💨

Mars in Cancer- In-home exercise, regardless of type, is what immediately comes to mind! Maybe a really pimped out Mars in Cancer would have an in-home pool.💧😂 🏊‍♀️🏠

Mars in Leo- Dancing! 💃🏻🕺🏼This is my Mars sign and never been a dancer, so this goes to show how I’m just thinking about the archetypes of the signs. But the Sun’s gotta shine/will get noticed 🌞 and dancing also is so highly CREATIVE. ♌️

Mars in Virgo- Gymnastics 🤸🏿‍♀️ I’m just so impressed with the precision♍️ in the routines of gymnasts. Perhaps Pilates is another example, that’s a little more common place. I personally avoid any exercise that requires attention to precise detail as it gets my Mars worked up in a bad way😤… so more power to anyone who’s built to like this type of exercise!

Mars in Libra- Ballet 🩰 The pure archetype of Libra is grace. Enough said.

Mars in Scorpio- whichever combat sport or martial art is the slyest. 😂 Mars at home I think could be quite motivated to be fighting somebody; but Scorpio’s gonna be concerned with technique, not in it to make a big bold scene. 🤺

Mars in Sagittarius- Hiking 🥾🌄🌲 Or biking! 🚴🏻‍♀️ The sign built for exploring. Hiking is always an adventure. You never quite know what you’ll see even when you’re hiking nature trails you’ve hiked before. And it tends to be a popular activity when visiting new places. ✈️

Mars in Capricorn- Climbing 🧗🏽‍♂️ Climbing has an obvious association with Capricorn. 🐐🌄 And Caps could always use inspiration to reach some pinnacle! 🙏 Also, fun fact, Saturn is the planet that rules the skeletal system and muscles in medical astrology. 🩻 Climbing works basically every muscle in your body!

Mars in Aquarius- some eccentric aerial sport. 😂 I don’t know much about anything in this area, I just know something that’s done in the air 🌬️ and something that’s unusual makes me think of Aquarius! ♒️

Mars in Pisces- Swimming 🏊‍♀️ I’m giving the final water💧sign, the one most like the vastness of the whole ocean, this official association with swimming. Related fun fact: my Piscean🌞 grandmother was the one who taught me how to swim (and was very delighted to do it). 💙

Bonus thoughts, from a Mars conjunct Venus: it’s really worth considering exercise that puts you in nature if you too have this conjunction, or Venus in harmonious aspect with Mars!🌲🌷 On this note, I’d think of Mars-Mercury being suited for things that are also exercise for the mind, Mars-Sun being suited for daytime outside exercise, Mars-Moon being a good fit for nighttime exercise, and exercise in new places or that doesn’t follow a set routine being suited for Mars-Jupiter!

[midnight-melancholiaaa]

a hasty follow-up to my earlier post, where i questioned why sol had told fake-osha that he was ready to come clean to the jedi council about what happened on brendok, and yet switched off his comms and jumped into hyperspace to avoid the incoming jedi team. doesn’t seem like coming clean to me…

few key things here 1) sol made those remarks to somebody he believed to be osha, and now he knows it wasn’t her, his priority has switched to finding her, rather than post-mission exposition on coruscant. 2) we’ve already seen sol’s frustration at the jedi regrouping in meetings instead of pursuing an urgent ongoing situation. sol is likely avoiding asking for permission he knows he won’t receive, so he can find osha and qimir as soon as possible. the fact that he does this by avoiding the jedi altogether, inadvertently placing even MORE suspicion upon himself as a fallen jedi, is….. ouch………

so why restrain mae and monologue to her? i’ve seen posts arguing (very well) that his incoming explanation of brendok will be a self-centred emotional unloading, rather than anything useful for or considerate of mae. i totally agree there’s an element of that at play, but i think there’s something else going on as well, linked to sol’s mission for the rest of the show.

a couple lines stick out to me. “you and i have work to do” is, i think, a fairly obvious statement that mae will be roped into helping sol rescue osha. but the other is hiding in an earlier scene: “you found him”. as i explain in my other theorypost, i think this line is said after sol has realised mae is pretending to be osha. within a double meaning, it could allude to mae’s relationship with the master. she’s found qimir once — why can’t she do it again?

so yeah, i don’t think it’s super out there to say that sol is planning to recruit mae and use her to find qimir, and osha along with him. why the table restraining then? on a purely practical level, he’s keeping her cuffed until he feels in control of the situation and as though he can rely on her allyship. and getting to that allyship? sol’s going to try his damndest in this explanation monologue to convince her onside, and he doesn’t want her struggling or arguing until he’s said that full pitch.

i think all this really speaks to the level of desperation sol is experiencing. he’s just watched the other jedi he cares deeply for get massacred in front of him, and failed to save any of them. and it turns out the one person he thought he’d saved, osha, is still in danger, and that he’s failed his ex-padawan again. no wonder his responsibilities to the council fall by the wayside when sol, a person clearly motivated by love for those close to him, has one final chance to do right by ANYONE in this clusterfuck situation. sol also feels extremely out of control in this series of events, so is grasping for whatever control he can salvage — hence his desperation to do whatever it takes for his mae-saves-osha plan to work and his… questionable methods in accomplishing it.

the implications for sol giving into fear and a need for control like this are certainly juicy. dude is on the struggle bus lately, and this particular struggle bus has a few dark-side-themed stops. also, the irony of sol behaving like this indirectly digging his grave re: the council’s inclination to believe in his dark-sidedness…….. makes me want to lie in a ditch for a while. can’t wait for next week where my theories will probably be proven wrong and also i get to cry on the floor!!!!!!! i <3 the acolyte!!!!!!!

[stargazer-sims]

Moving In

Clancy: How’s it going, kid?

Forest: Okay, I guess.

Clancy: Got all your stuff unpacked and set up?

Forest: Yeah, mostly. I still have to organize all my art stuff. I need to decide where I want to put my easel.

Clancy: You’ll figure it out. Do you like the apartment?

Forest: It’s great.

Clancy: But…?

Forest: Just thinking about Dad.

Clancy: Oh?

Forest: He didn't seem too bothered about me moving out. Even the day when he caught me packing, he didn't try to stop me.

Clancy: Why do you think that is?

Forest: Probably 'cause he wants to get rid of me.

Clancy: Or because he thinks it's what you need right now.

Forest: It kinda is. I mean, living there was getting pretty bad. Nobody over there understands me. At least when I'm by myself, I won't have people looking down on me all the time and rubbing it in my face that they're all so much better than me.

Clancy: Well, this will give you the chance to figure out who you are and become your own person.

Forest: Exactly.

Clancy: Anyway, now that you're all set up, we should go over the apartment rules.

Forest: Come on! There are rules? I thought i was supposed to be independent now.

Clancy: Sorry to shatter your fantasy about adulthood, but everybody has rules to follow. We have rules at work, and we have regulations and laws in everyday life. You have rules at your job, don't you?

Forest: Yeah.

Clancy: And there are rules at school?

Forest: Okay, point taken. What are the apartment rules?

Clancy: The first rule is that rent is due on the first of the month. If you think you can't pay it or you're going to be late, you need to let me know in advance, and I'll give you five extra days to get it paid. No coming to me on the first and being like, 'Aunt Clancy, I don't have rent money'. Got it?

Forest: Got it. As long as my boss pays me, you'll get the rent.

Clancy: Good. The next rule is no parties, and no overnight guests that you're not related to. If your brothers and sisters want to stay over, that's fine. You can have a few friends at a time over if you want, and I don't care what you do together in there, but try to keep the noise down and let them know they they need to be out by midnight.

Forest: Okay.

Clancy: Next one is laundry. You can go to the laundromat or you can use my washer and dryer. If you want to use mine, we'll work out a schedule.

Forest: Is that it?

Clancy: That's it. Basically, you're on your own. I'm not going to be telling you what to do from day to day and I'm not going to be making any decisions for you. If you need help or advice you can ask me and I'll help you, but when all's said an done, every choice is going to be yours.

Forest: You know what? I can respect all that.

Clancy: Good, because I'm not above evicting you if you don't.

Forest: Seriously?

Clancy: Seriously. That's what happens in real life, and if you do manage to get yourself evicted, I'm not explaining it to your parents. That'll be up to you, too.

Forest: Don't worry, Aunt Clancy. You won't have to evict me.

Clancy: That's what I want to hear.

Forest: Oh, somebody's texting me. Sorry... not trying to be rude.

Clancy: It's fine. Is it your parents?

Forest: No, it's somebody from school. It's a girl.

Clancy: Ooh, interesting.

Forest: Her name is Nora. She's in my class. Her parents kicked her out too, during the first week of school if you can imagine that. She's living with somebody in an apartment downtown. Apparently her mom is way worse than my parents, but she likes living on her own and she makes a lot of money with her online job.

Clancy: What kind of job does she do?

Forest: No idea, actually. She doesn't really like to talk about it.

Clancy: I see.

Forest: She wants to know if she can come over. Is that okay?

Clancy: It's your apartment. That's up to you.

Forest: Cool. I'll tell her she can come.

Clancy: Okay, I'll leave you to it. Have a good night

Forest: Thanks, Aunt Clancy. It's gonna be all good, you know. You won't regret letting me move in.

Clancy: Remember you said that.

Forest: It'll be great, I promise.

[1-800anklebully]

That girl Jude Bellingham x black female oc

Summary: You are one of the best female players in woman football. And for some odd a reason a certain Dortmund player had taken a liking into you.

Warnings: Swearing, and use of alcohol, and just Jude being Jude. Also for sake of this imagine Trent plays for Borussia Dortmund. And probably more things I cant think off the top of my head.

Excuse any errors

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚

It was a hot day in England to be exact it was about 28 degrees, you could not spot a single cloud in the sky it was as clear as day. The sun was the only thing out today.

Along with the female and male England teams they unfortunately had to train on this beautiful note the sarcasm. They were on separate grounds the men on the other and the woman on the other.

Simply just doing drills and works out as the men had a game approaching this week which meant the ladies had to attend it was mandatory.

“Girls are you mucking around? You’re meant to be working on your kicking skills. Especially you Gretchen.” Coach Martin pointed her out and she went a bright shade of red. He was wrong for that.

But hey that was Coach Martin for you he didn’t care who he offends or humiliates. He was honest and like it or not that’s who he is. The whole team have all came to the conclusion that’s who he is as a person.

He was so nonchalant to everyone including his wife. I think the only time he actually cracked a smile and let himself loose was when the woman had won their World Cup.

“Oh then you come fashionably late l/n. Maybe you can teach these girls how to kick a fucking football!” He seethed throwing his clipboard to ground and he stormed off the field to where the men were gawking in disbelief.

You on the other hand, had just arrived and were beyond perplexed on why he was so grouchy in the morning. Maybe he woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

“What did you guys do to piss him off.” You sighed crossing your arms. You were the youngest in the ground yet you felt like the oldest.

“Nothing just practicing our kicking and he just flipped.” Gretchen sighed rubbing her face now recovered from being called out.

You raised a eyebrow.” I get what he means though. You’re lazy Gretchen.” She said making the men gasp and some say ‘oh shít’.

��E-Excuse me.”

“You heard me you kick like a pre-schooler and lack putting in effort when performing. I know we’re better and bigger than that. That goes for all of you we can’t be slacking off just because we won a cup.

It doesn’t mean anything it’s a new which means we have to try harder for another 4 years. Understood. Now let’s started.” You explained and they all nodded in agreement paring up with somebody to pass the ball back and forth.

A speaker was on, Burna boy was playing on the speakers some of the girls were dancing and the others were chatting while actually doing what they were told.

It was not surprising as they had respected their captain you and could never disagree with what she says due to her always knowing what’s best for their team.

“I wonder why Coach M was so mad at them they seem to be kicking efficiently.” Trent analysed joining Jude who was on his break watching the girls train. Not in a creepy way.

“I agree. Who is she.” Jude didn’t tear his eyes off you as you laughed handling the ball with so much skill and it was effortlessly too.

“Who?”

“Number 9.”

Trent furrowed his eyebrows, but once his eyes landed on you he smiled and waved at you and you blew him a kiss jokingly making him laugh.

“That’s Y/n L/n. Their captain. She’s a damn beast on the field you should see her.” Trent ranted amazed by your work.

“What’s so good about her.” Jude shifted uncomfortably not liking how doe eyed Trent looked at you.

“She has won countless medals and not to mention she’s the captain of her team at only 19 like you it’s incredible.”

“Oh yeah well how do you know her?” Jude couldn’t help but question. Trent then began explaining that your sister was dating one of his brothers. Tyler.

And you guys stood together at the wedding of one of his cousin wedding. Ever since then you made it your duty to tease him. Partially because you use to have a crush on Trent, but the crush faded as soon as you saw his dance moves that night.

It shocked you that someone that was mixed with Caribbean had no rhythm at all. Stiff as a board.

“Well she seems cool.” Jude expressed as he kicked down on the grass with his boots. Trent stared at him funny. There was no way…

“Do you fancy her?”

“No?!”

Trend rolled his eyes at how defensive Jude became it obviously meant that he found her some what attractive . Yet he couldn’t blame him. You were a sight for sore eyes.

“I’m just going to put this out there if you choose to pursue her, you’re not going to be 100% successful. She’s a tough one. Wants her eggs cracked.” Trent tried explaining but all Jude could see was love-hearts.

He wanted to get to know her, heck if he had known about her earlier he probably would’ve shot his shot.

You pivoted your right foot so that the ball had hit the inner side of your boot and boom the ball had went into the goal square.

Your team cheered as you run around the field screaming they had jumped on you which made you tumble down. However when down your eyes landed on a familiar pair of brown ones and they twinkled with delight.

You felt like you were in trance with this stranger and for whatever your eyes couldn't seem to drift away only until your teammates had carried you away to the locker-room and you loss sight of him in the crowd.

''Jude.'' Trent spoke a wide shit eating grin on his face he could beyond a doubt see that this youngin was already plotting your whole life together. That's how Jude was.

He falls in love to quick and believes in love at first sight. This is how he always tends to end up broken heart as he dates the first girl he sees.

''BOYS WE'RE RESUMING ARNOLD, BELLINGHAM!''

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊

Your point of view

Time had now passed and the girls were done with their practice most were showering and others were chatting getting ready to leave. You stood against the wall typing mindlessly on your phone to your younger brother who was claiming there was no food at home.

Which was a lie because your mother always cooked at home for your father however your brother wasn't interested and only wanted fast food. So being the good old sister you were you would always buy him something when you could.

Lori, your teammate and best friend had came over and bit into you shoulder causing you gasp and flip around while she laughs toppling over.

"Girl you're weird as fuck you can't be doing that shit.'' You berated clutching your shoulder as she smiled goofily. She was always doing strange things to make her presence known.

She simply shrugged ignoring your statement.'' Who are you texting.'' She peers over your shoulder and scrunches up her face, when she sees your brothers name on the screen.

''Not that little brat.'' Her and your brother didn't exactly get along as he had a attitude problem according to her which wasn't exactly false.

''Not too much Lori. How are you beefing with a 16 almost 17 year old and you hanging onto 20.''

''That boy's a menace don't even.'' She waved you off for defending your brother and eyed Emily's arse as she walked by which made you roll your eyes at how she was not being subtle at all.

''Anyways, I saw Mr Bellingham eying you earlier on the pitch what's up with that huh.'' She nudged you knowingly as if you knew what on earth she was going on about.

''Who the hell is that? And piss off would you.'' You scoffed pushing her away to stop her hassle.

Lori's face had dropped there was no way you didn't know who Jude was he was all over tik tok and Instagram you name it. He was everywhere and for you not know who he was astounding.

Most 13-17 year old girls would be shaking their head at your lack of knowledge.

''Are you bloody serious? Number 22 that guy that was gawking at you that's Jude Bellingham.'' She stares at you alarmed at how un phased you were that he even glanced your way.

Quite frankly you weren't interested as the last thing on your mind was a boyfriend you already were one step ahead of Lori. She was probably already jotting down ideas on how to purposely make you two bump into each other.

''oh that's cool.'' You go back to texting your brother laughing at the text he sent you. Unaware of how badly she was glaring you down.

''I hate you sometimes you know that.''

'' I know.'' You chimed and began walking off to shower.

" You know he's feeling you!" She yelled out not caring who heard she just wanted to get her message across.

"NO HE'S NOT NOT!''

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊

LATER ON THAT NIGHT

While on your drive back home after spending some time with the girls, the traffic to your house was absolutely bizarre. Especially at this time of the night since it was around 8pm you didn’t expect that much people to be out and about.

Sighing, you knew the best thing that you could was scroll on your phone to by some time. Adjusting your seat, you went on Instagram catching up on everything you had missed due to being a practice. Eh it was same same.

Insta models, DMS being flooded with messages from random people most positive but some could be quite nasty.

For some reason a random cloud had propped over you and it was encouraging to scroll through this Jude Bellinghams page.

So you did. Oh he took some nice photos. Mainly about football not really into posting his social life. That’s great.

Accept why were you stalking his page if you weren’t interested. You mentally scolded yourself and hopped off his profile going to something else.

You will give it to Lori though, he is quite majestic and definitely does have the looks. But of course you would never admit that out loud.

“Finally, you’re here.” Your brother exaggerated dashing up from the living room. He didn’t even greet you, he just finessed the bag of Maccas from you.

Your mother scolded him and he just hummed.

“Tobias.” She tutted him as he just took a bite of the burger and his eyes widened.” OH- thanks Y/n!”

You waved him off with a tired smile and just collapsed on the couch next to your mother who was knitting.

“Hey mama.”

“Hey sweetie. How was practice?” She never tore her eyes off her thread. It still marvelled you at how she threaded so efficiently even though she was approaching her late 40s.

''Practice was the same. Accept the girls were taking it lightly as they won a championship.'' You voiced your frustration making your mother tut her head.

''You're being so hard on them Y/N let then relax its only been 2 weeks. Lay off.'' Your mother insists knowing how uptight you could be fun was not in your vocabulary. Only when you were intoxicated which you'll see what I mean eventually.

''I agree stop being a tight arseeeee Y/NNNNN.'' Tobias sung getting all in your face causing you to shove him away and he falls backwards making your father let out a belly full laugh.

Tobias groans in agony getting from the ground clutching the back of his head, a grimace on his face.'' You're so damn aggressive.''

''Karmas a bitch ain't it huh.''

'' Y/N language.'' Your father reminded you.

''See this is why you don't have a boyfriend.''

The smirk had dropped from you face quicker than a ice cream on a hot day. You stood up from the couch and began tying your hair up. Sure your brother was almost a whole foot taller than you and had longer legs.

But you could take him down any day with your strength. He'll always be little bro, and respectfully he's gonna learn today.

''Y/N IM SORRY-"'

He screamed out and began running like a mad man you followed his lead.

"Whatever you do don't kill our son Y/N!''

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚

Authors note: And just like that I have published another imagine this has been sitting here for awhile so I am glad its out there. I hope you all liked it!🤎