#like kill me now it doesnt get better than this

[gay4carver]

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

I have a few terms Inuse to self Identify but I vibe the most with just Alterhuman. They are: fictionkin,PAI umbrella, holothere of sorts,Soulbond+fictotype secret mix, demihuman of sorts, draconic of sorts...Ig that's it. LIES I remembered: Polymorph, Otherlink, Otherhearted, Copinglink, starseed of sorts.

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

- Isaac clarke from dead space

- Luke Arcanjel from my brain, I made him uo and he gained semi-conciousness™

- Kelvin from Sons of the forest

- Sly fox from William and Sly series

- Nimona

- A gelfling. Probably a Stonewood gelfling, new type.

- Dragon dog thing. Green.

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

I used to more when I had just figured out my nonhuman identity. Nowadays I only feel phantom limbs and get dragon/fox zoomies.

And Luke shifts (kin or not) when I listen to starset or get pissed but its hard to tell who is who from how similar we are.

And Gelfling shifts when I feel connected to the world. My strongest shifts are dream shifts nowadays, from all of my kins.

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

That's a though one, I actually don't know how to answer that. It is a bog part of me but it is something so personal and like in my soul and brain that I barely recognize how it affects my life because like, I kinda just am like this and i'm used to it. I guess I feel stronger than usual connections to nature and certain aspects of it that are related to my kins, that longing for my hearthomes and for freedom I know I'll never have, that weord feeling that you feel when you watch or read some piece of fiction and you figure out you've found a new thing to call "home".

The feeling you could never disingage yourself from those "characters" and thoae creatures and this part of yourself or else your life woulf be miserable and you know that probably other nonhumans could survive without that perfectly fine. Or missing people you "never met" missing places you "never got to" and onowing you probably wont now but somehow fundong thoae exact places and people on earth and feeling whole.

5/ What do you think of the community?

it's 50/50 either the shittiest crap I ever got into or the safest place I got into. Depends on plataform, group, user base age, and the kind of kin the userbase is. In my experience the most toxic spaces have been (in order):

- Draconic discords because: dick measuring, trauma olympics, "who is the most OP" olympics, "I started a war in my past life and I cannot deal with the pain. "Bro I destroyed UNIVERSES that's NOTHING!!"" Suicidal ideation normalization and even glamorization of suicide to "go back on living as a dragon again".

- Fictionkin/KFF discords because of younger users fighting over doubles, "problematic" kins, fakeclaiming people who doubled their friends and talking the utmost shit of that person who did NOTHING to them, "anti this anti that", trauma olympics.

- Bluesky in general because in my country the theriam community got famous and now its a trend to hate on it and tell people to kill themselves.

- Tumblr because of the amount of grilling, "activism" that is actually just policing, fake claimojg and so on.

- The off date othercon server because no one seems to be able to listen to someone else's experience without giving their opinion on it saying how wrong it it because it doesnt fit their definition of x label, because apparently "you gotta fit the box" and not "the box has to fit you" is more important. They also know better about you than you know yourself. No one can stfu about themselves and listen to other people either it was always a "me me me" competition when I was there.

These places might have changed idk I no longer am there, sometimes I pop up on tumblr still but I avoid it. I have honestly lost most of my interest to engage with the community because it is most of the time unpleasant and stressfull or I read stupid shit that makes me too angry. Now I just hang out on a server I mod with other friends.

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

Nature, space, looking at stars, drawing, singing and listening to music, when i'm out in nature, when the day its so beautiful I want to cry. Rain. Gear sometimes. Playing my game sources. Witchcraft, beijg around my friends and especially my partners. My shifts.

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

Somtimes it is as bad as my gender dysphoria but that's mostly because most of my kins are men or another gender. I don't like to be percieved as a human sometimes and it angers me i'm not percieved and treated as a mystical being.

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

DO YOUR RESEARCH AND DONT TRUST TIKTOK AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT GO DOING QUADROBICS AS IF IT'S NOT A SPORT THAT REQUIRES PRE-TRAINING AND AS IF YOU WHERE A PROFESSIONAL. Please I know a kid that git kicked by a horse and the other dislocated their wrist because they tried jumping from a sofa to another. Quadrobics can be dangerous and it's not everyone that can do it cus it can mess up some health conditions more. Do not grill people or mistrear thwm because you dont understand them. Dont use your kins as an excuse to being an asshole or misstreating others. You are a amalgam of yout kins and you are not them individually, dont try to act like your past life because you feel like you should because it feels "more legit" and throw away the person you are nowadays, you are still your kin and valid even if you sound, act, look nothing like them. Don't post thinga about yourself online that could potentialy harm you, like triggers, your face, your city etc, seems obvious but people still post a lot of things like that and end up regretting it later.

There is nothing wrong ig your identity isn't 100% involuntary and some aspects of it are not subconciously imprinting but rather copinh mechanisms. I used to lie to myself a lot on this and it only hurt me further. Try to see everything with a grey area, not everything is a us vs them thing like it seems online. Your nonhuman identity is yours only, doesnt have to look like anyone else's or has to look like what people tell you it should. Its ok to not know yout kins at first, dont rush things, its also okay to realize you were wrong about a kin or if your identity changes over time, nothing is ever in vain or lost you are just living your cycle, life and nature works in cycles, honour yours and live it to the fullest and freely.

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

I have 2 tails, I want wings and a RIG now.

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

Trauma imprinting and trying to actively cope with it. I was also technically raised my my childhood cat. I dunno! I just am! for me it doesn't matter much but it feels sacred somehow! Also autism.

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

@darksou07

If you are a alterhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

[a-very-sparkly-nerd]

When I tell you my heart stopped and I have never taken a screenshot so fast in my LIFE-

[xxplastic-cubexx]

personal happiness or what the fuck ever

bonus:

[monotone-artist]

[id in alt]

some idw redraws

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

Is this canon? Technically no.

Is it even In character? Absolutely not!

Do I care? Not really!

Locus is my blorbo and i can put him in annoying situations, like having a small squad of annoying but just-good-enough-to-not-kill-them Feds, if i want to

[qiu-yan]

in MDZS the novel, the innkeeper in Yunping mentions that people are too scared to go petition Yunmeng Jiang for help because someone once walked in on Sect Leader Jiang whipping a guy in the main hall, supposedly because the guy was a demonic cultivator.

[t8oo]

there is some symbolism iv never considered in that one episod of pt5 where zenigata rescues fujiko before she kills lupin

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[toytulini]

me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts

[acourtofquestions]

"You'll come back," Manon said.

It sounded like more of a threat than anything

Dorian smirked. "Would you miss me if I didn't?"

Manon didn't reply. He didn't know why he expected her to.

He'd taken all of a step, when Asterin clasped his shoulder. "In and out, quick as you can," she warned him. "Take care of Narene." Worry indeed shone in the Second's gold-flecked black eyes. Dorian bowed his head. "With my life," he promised as he approached her mount and grasped the dangling reins. He didn't fail to miss the gratitude that softened Asterin's features. Or that Manon had already turned away from him.

A fool to start down this path with her. He should have known better.

The hours that passed were some of the longest of Manon's existence.

From anticipation, she told herself. Of what she had to do.

Abraxos, unsurprisingly, found them within an hour, his reins sliced from the struggle he'd no doubt waged and won with Sorrel. He waited, however, beside Manon in silence, wholly focused upon the gate where Dorian and Narene had vanished.

Time dripped by. The king's sword was constant weight at her side. She cursed herself for needing to prove-to him, to herself-that she refused to let him go into Morath for practical, ordinary reasons. Erawan wasn't at the Ferian Gap. It'd be safer. Somewhat. But if the Matrons were there … That was why he'd gone. To learn if they were. To see if Petrah truly commanded the host there, and how many Ironteeth were present. He had not been trained as a spy, but he'd grown up in a court where people wielded smiles and clothes like weapons. He knew how to blend in, how to listen. How to make people see what they wished to see. She'd sent Elide into the dungeons of Morath, Darkness damn her. Sending the King of Adarlan into the Ferian Gap was no different.

It didn't stop her breath from escaping when Abraxos stiffened, scanning the sky. As if he heard something they couldn't.

And it was the joy that sparked in her mount's eyes that told her.

Moments later, Narene sailed toward them, making a lazy path over the mountains, a dark-haired, pale-skinned rider atop her. He'd truly been able to change parts of himself. Had made his face nearly unrecognizable. And kept it that way.

Asterin rushed toward the mare, and even Manon blinked as her Second threw her arms around Narene's neck. Holding her tight. The mare only leaned her head against Asterin's back and huffed.

Manon hadn't dwelled long on what she'd say.

And as the three hundred Ironteeth witches filed into the hall, some coming off their patrols, Manon half wondered if she should have. They watched her, watched the Thirteen, with a wary disdain.

Their disgraced Wing Leader; their fallen Heir.

When all were gathered, Petrah, still standing in the doorway where she'd appeared, merely said, "My life debt for an audience, Blackbeak."

Manon swallowed, her tongue as dry as paper. Seated atop Abraxos, she could see every shifting movement in the crowd, the wide eyes or hands gripping swords.

"I will not tell you the particulars of who I am," Manon said at last. "For I think you have already heard them."

"Crochan bitch," someone spat.

Manon set her eyes on the Blackbeaks, stone-faced where the others bristled with hatred. It was for them she spoke, for them she had come here.

jacket, then hoisting up her white shirt. Rising in the stirrups to bare her scarred, brutalized abdomen. "She does not lie."

UNCLEAN

There, the word remained stamped. Would always be stamped.

"How many of you," Asterin called out, "have been similarly branded? By your Matron, by your coven leader? How many of you have had your stillborn witchlings burned before you might hold them?"

The silence that fell now was different from before. Shaking shuddering.

Manon glanced at the Thirteen to find tears in Ghislaine's eyes as she took in the brand on Asterin's womb. Tears in the eyes of all of them, who had not known. And it was for those tears, which Manon had never seen, that she faced the host again.

"You will be killed in this war, or after it. And you will never see our homeland again."

"What is it that you want, Blackbeak?" Petrah asked from the archway.

"Ride with us," Manon breathed. "Fly with us.

Against Morath. Against the people who would keep you from your homeland, your future." Murmuring broke out again. Manon pushed ahead, "An Ironteeth-Crochan alliance. Perhaps one to break our curse at last."

Again, that shuddering silence. Like a storm about to break Asterin sat back in the saddle, but kept her shirt open.

"The choice of how our people's future shall be shaped is yours," Manon told each of the witches assembled, all the Blackbeaks who might fly to war and never return. "But I will tell you this." Her hands shook, and she fisted them on her thighs. "There is a better world out there. And I have seen it."

Even the Thirteen looked toward her now.

"I have seen witch and human and Fae dwell together in peace. And it is not weakness to do so, but a strength. I have met kings and queens whose love for their kingdoms, their peoples, is so great that the self is secondary. Whose love for their people is so strong that even in the face of unthinkable odds, they do the impossible."

Manon lifted her chin. "You are my people. Whether my grandmother decrees it so or not, you are my people, and always will be. But I will fly against you, if need be, to ensure that there is a future for those who cannot fight for it themselves. Too long have we preyed on the weak, relished doing so. It is time that we became better than our foremothers." The words she had given the Thirteen months ago. "There is a better world out there," she said again. "And I will fight for it." She turned Abraxos away, toward the plunge behind them. "Will you?"

Manon nodded to Petrah. Eyes bright, the Heir only nodded back. They would be permitted to leave as they had arrived: unharmed.

So Manon nudged Abraxos, and he leaped into the sky, the Thirteen following suit.

Not a child of war. But of peace.

[carcarrot]

well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job

[phagodyke]

wanted to go to the gym social tn but as I was getting my stuff together to go out, a friend said smth that rly pissed me off and now I'm too fucking angry to go out. fucks sake man

[comradecowplant]

so things are not going well with my new elderly socdem friend unfortunately.

[bobasnonbeliever]

only posting this here because i dont think anyone will see it. i need to get this out

im so fucking tired of my life. im tired of caring, like, in general. as stupid as it sounds, i was watching kitchen nightmares, and gordon said something about a chef or an owner, i dont remember exactly, he said; "losing hope is a scary thing to do, when theres just no more light at the end of the tunnel, it takes you down dark paths." or something like that. and ive been suicidal/depressed since i was 9, but i thought to myself "im not hopeless, am i?". the more i thought about it, the worse i felt because, god no, im not hopeless. im helpless, or maybe i wallow too much in my own self pity. i dont know the difference. every goddamn day feels like another waking nightmare, im sick of living with my mom, im sick of her not letting me get a job. i dont want my name on the damn electric bill because shes over $1,000 in debt to the power company anymore. shes already ruining my credit, and i dont even have a damn job! not to mention her fucking kid, her 5yo fucking kid, im taking care of. the product of the man who beat me over and over again, threatened to kill me, and then he took a greyhound bus out of our lives. why didnt she protect me? he never once hit her, or anyone else, why didnt mom help me? i was only 13 when he first pulled me by my hair and slammed me into the stairs because i let moms ice cream tub melt on the kitchen table for half an hour. it took him till my brother was 3 to leave. she valued him over me, and even now. im always taking care of my brother, even when he screams at me, cusses at me, throws things at me, spits on me, hits me, kicks me, claws me, bites me, and more. you get the point. she never even tells him to stop, she doesnt have to scream, or hurt him, or anything. just please, please tell them to stop hurting me. i still take care of him. i take care of him when she takes 20 fucking benadryl and passes out for the full time shes at home between shifts. i sacrificed my education to "help her" take care of him. and she gets mad at me when i parent him, when i tell him off, or even more mad when i have to cry and beg him to stop hurting me. she says "youre 22 years old, get a grip" when im covered in bruises from the 5 year old "hes five!" she will scream when i tell her he hurts me. "he is five, hes supposed to listen to you" i said once, and she just stared at me. im always fucking things up, she never fails to let me know, when she looks at me like that i know its my fault. i cant even begin on my relationship, i shouldnt, he might see this. i just want to give up, im so tired of caring, i want to let it all go. my dog died, i ruined him too, i couldnt take him to the vet i couldnt help him. hes gone because i failed. my baby, im not saying that in the cringy melinial way, he saved me from suicide. so many times, it was "hell be so confused why im gone..", "hes gonna miss me", "whos gonna take care of him?" but now hes gone and im still here. my baby, is gone and im so selfishly still here. why wouldnt she let me get a job? i couldve taken him, i couldve at least got him put down so he didnt have to suffer in his favourite spot on my bed till his kidneys put him down for us. if i didnt know, my boyfriend would kill himself too when he comes home from classes tomorrow, and i was dead, i would take the entire 160 count bottle of benadryl i stole from moms room. i want to see my baby, he never ever missed on helping me, i owe him my life and couldnt even give him that when he passed. but not for lack of trying.

but even so, i dont feel hopeless. maybe only yearning, but it feels enough like hope. when i use my right hand to stroke my left cheek and neck, it almost feels like someone else. i get a glimmer of a thought, "one day, i wont have to beg to be taken care of. someone will do it because they want to.", but still, it hurts worse. i dont know how i can possibly derive so much gut wrenching pain from that little bit of hope, but i do. and still, i cant help myself, i cant blame anyone else. i can only hope someone will come save me. if i could handle this all on my own, i wouldnt be here typing this.

i want to decompose.

writing this after that monster of a textblock in the tags, but if you were wondering. im not exaggerating about the mess, and i wouldnt normally judge. because i have had worse bedrooms, mental illness is a bitch. but its in the common area, and she absolutely does make the 5yo live in it. she moved out to the living room after their room was too trashed for her to even walk in, so she toated her 50" fucking tv right out there and hasnt moved, accept to go to work, since. everyone pray or cross your fingers or send me some good energy to hope she gets sliced into a million pieces at work instead of accidentally oding on bennies so i can raise my brother with her life insurance money.

[widevibratobitch]

so i am singing that vitellia in the end... but at what fucking cost.

'you gotta sing this softer'

'what'

'this is mozart'

'this is vitellia'

'this is mozart'

'im singing about how much i hate this mf and want him dead before the end of the day'

'this is mozart'

'i wanna murder a guy'

'this is mozart'

'...'

'softer. gentle. mozart'

'...ok'

[girlcockholmes]

now that my PI is like hey you should actually be sitting in the lab to write instead of doing it at home im shooting one million lasers at his head in my mind. fuck off