#like it's largely because i like most of the current top players there and feel bad about (and relate) to their first round struggles

[starrstruckcanuck]

Been thinking of making a tierlist of my thoughts on all the teams for a while so here it is!! As you can see, I am indifferent to or hate most of the league... 😶‍🌫️🫣 which is why I generally say I'm more of a Canucks fan than a hockey fan lol

[cuteandhughesy]

Baby Please Come Home | Vince Dunn

summary: you used to have a crush on your best friends older brother even though you’re pretty sure he wasn’t that fond of you—that is until he breaks your heart after he kisses you during a game of spin the bottle. years later, when your parents flight gets canceled while they’re away on holiday, you are graciously invited to spend the christmas holiday with your best friends family - vince and his sour attitude included.

[word count] 20.5k

warnings: NSFW! enemies to lovers | slow burn| best friends older brother | angst | rude!vince | alcohol | mature themes | kissing | smut | thigh riding | grinding | unprotected!p in v intercourse | read at your own discretion!

a/n: the beginning of cute and hughesy’s christmas special! hope you enjoy the first week 🎄

🎵christmas (baby please come home) by mariah carey

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2014: freshman year of highschool

the noises around you are distracting - a mixture of loud laughter and singing, combined with the bass riddled music vibrating through your bones on top of the various conversations happening around you.

you eye the mingling crowd around you, watching as teenagers older than you easily chat to one another. they don't look worried or anxious - they look nothing like you're feeling.

"I didn't think they still played games like this in highschool." you best friend sammy says into your ear, her tone hushed as to not attract attention to either of you.

"me either." you admit gently. "but clearly they do."

she huffs, crossing her arms over her red top. sammy has been your best friend since the first grade when her mom and dad moved their family down the street from yours. obviously you both attended the same small town school, and since then you two have been inseparable.

sammy has always been the type of girl that everyone loves. she's the sweetest soul you've ever known, but she's not afraid to stand up for herself and tell somebody off if they need to hear it. not only does she have the most amazing personality, but she's ungodly beautiful. with her thick and shiny dark hair, as well as her naturally tinted lips, and long lashes framing her large, green eyes - she's ethereal.

ever since the two of you started your freshman year of high school four short months ago, she has been getting lots of attention, especially from the senior boys. to be ultra specific, the high school hockey team in particular was the most fond of sammy - regardless of how she was related to the assistant captain.

much to sammy's older brother vince's dismay, the hockey team had invited sammy to this party that the two of you were currently at. you weren't technically extended an invitation, but sammy would've never gone to her first high school party without you - so here you both are.

you don't know what you were expecting at a high school party. sure, the alcohol and weed was something that was a given, but sitting on the floor with various hockey players and senior girls while you all took turns spinning a bottle - well that was surprising.

the game of spin the bottle happening in front of you was definitely the cause of your growing nerves. because not only did you have to spin the bottle and kiss whoever it landed on - but you and sammy were informed you'd be spending '7 minutes in heaven' with said person, where the kiss would actually take place, rather than infront of everyone.

so that had your nerves dampening slightly - but the kissing part of it all was still having you feeling anxious - the mere fact that you haven't had your first kiss yet was the main contributor.

"do you think jake and I will end up in the closet?" sammy giggles softly, her eyes drifting to the other side of the circle where jake matthews is chatting with vince, leisurely sipping his beer - paying no mind to the game happening right in front of him.

you shrug, your eyes also trained in their direction. "well if he spins and It lands of you - those are the rules right?"

sammy then starts to get giddy like she usually does when thinking and talking about jake matthews and she immediately starts whispering to you about how he's her future husband and how much she's in love with him.

at the same time, as if he can feel your stare from the other side of the circle, vince's eyes flicker to yours. thankfully his conversation with jake doesn't stop because jake is the one who's doing most of the talking, so nobody takes notice to the way vince is looking at you.

sammy's words are falling on deaf ears unbeknownst to her - the gaze you are locked in with her brother has completely captivated your attention.

like usual vince doesn't smile or acknowledge you in any way, he just keeps his eyes on you, almost as if he was assessing you through the strangers dimly lit living room.

you squint at him accusingly - as if to ask what's his deal. you're not expecting any type of response because you've never gotten one from vince in regards to his grumpy persona - the grumpy persona he seems to only have around you.

"are you listening?" sammy elbows you in the side. your black knitted sweater provides no cushion as her elbow smacks against your ribs, and it effectively has you breaking eye contact with vince.

"what?" you hiss, rubbing your side.

"it's your turn." sammy's eyes widen and her gaze frantically switches between you and the empty beer bottle sitting in the middle of the carpet.

you can feel your face pale and heat up all at the same time. it shouldn't be as big of a deal as you feel it is - but you can't help your mind and heart from racing, your blood pumping loudly through your ears.

almost everyone in the circle was looking in your direction, waiting for you to take your turn.

"right." clearing your throat, you push up off your butt and do an awkward crawl combined with a reach to grab ahold of the empty bottle.

you give it a good spin, watching it swivel with momentum on top of the fuzzy textured rug. you move back into your seated position, not once taking your eyes of the direction of the spinning glass.

it slows and only makes it around one more complete circle before stopping. when sammy gasps quietly and the group all wolf whistles around you, your nerves max out. you don't want to look up and find who your spin has landed on - you're scared to see who it landed on and the reaction around you wasn't helping.

reluctantly you follow the direction of the bottles neck, looking upwards until you are met with the familiar green eyed gaze of your best friends older brother.

your face falls in shock - mimicking the expression on vince's face who too looks very unimpressed with the outcome of your bottle spin.

you attempt to spin again, asking if it was possible with these seemingly strict rules set by the hockey team - but no. much to your and vince's dismay nothing works and you're both ushered into one of the empty bedrooms for your required '7 minutes in heaven.'

the door clicks shut behind you, and your nerves have you feeling slightly wobbly and lightheaded. this wasn't the situation you were expecting tonight and you certainly weren't prepared to spend 7 minutes in heaven with your best friends older brother.

but vince doesn't seem to be too bothered with the situation now that he's in the room, his earlier shocked expression faded away. vince sits down before he flips backwards onto the perfectly made bed, closing his eyes and loudly exhaling.

you knaw on your lip, trying to think of something to say. he's clearly annoyed with this whole situation, because he seems to always be annoyed with you - you swear you could polish his shoes and cook him his favourite meal and he'd still give you that dead stare.

in a desperate attempt to try and ease the thick tension that's everlasting between you (even though you've never had a clue as to why), you move towards vince and nudge your foot against his.

one eye opens as he peeks up at you, a questioning raise to his eyebrow. he doesn't say anything, and he doesn't move - his foot still touching yours.

"i'm sorry," you start, "I should've tried harder to convince everyone to let me spin again. i've never been to a party before though and I didn't want to upset anyone - especially because I wasn't technically invited and only came because sammy wanted me to."

vince still doesn't say anything. he pushes up with his elbows, back into his original sitting position at the end of the bed. he looks up at you blankly, and like usual he's not giving away any of his emotions.

the position has you feeling awkward - you looking down at vince while he silently and lazily blinks up at you. you wring your hands out and take a seat beside him, the mattress dipping until you're sliding into his torso.

your nervous ramble continues. "although maybe I should be happy the bottle landed on you instead of some other asshole who probably would've started groping me by now - like how embarrassing would it have been turning down evan russell because I haven't even had my first kiss yet, never mind hooking up-"

"you've never been kissed?" vince interrupts you.

you heat up, a bright pink hue covering your cheeks and up to the tips of your jewelry decorated ears. "no...and obviously these lips won't be touching evan russell's anytime soon. at least not until I can properly and confidently go into a situation like this-" you gesture between the two of you wildly "-without my stomach falling down to my feet."

vince hums quietly to himself, and his eyes dance over your face slowly - analyzing you. "you talk way too much."

your head snaps completely over in his direction, and your eyebrows pull together in irritation. "excuse you. I don't talk too much, what are you even saying right now-"

vince kisses you.

he confidently pulls you closer towards him with a guiding hand on the back of your neck, his fingers sliding through your hair in a way that gives you goosebumps. his lips are soft and taste like cheap beer, but the way he licks onto your bottom lip expertly has you completely captivated and not even the reality of the situation could snap you out of it.

vince kisses softer than you expected - a complete contrast to his hard exterior. the way his lips move against yours is almost comforting and relaxing and although you have absolutely nothing to compare it to - it feels good.

you breathe shakily against him, the unexpected pleasure from a simple kiss taking you by surprise.

the door opens and you both jump apart. vince immediately gets off the bed and walks out the room, brushing past a few of the guys from the hockey team - mumbling something to them you don't catch. vince doesn't spare you a second glance as he leaves, and that has you feeling very uncertain and confused.

you get up, ignoring the guys snickering and eyes as you walk down the hallway and back into the main area of the house. even though you'd technically been caught making out with vince, nobody had seemingly saw anything that proves it and by the bored look on everyone's faces from sitting through another 7 minutes of waiting around, they don't suspect anything.

you return to the circle, taking your original seat beside sammy, she instantly turns to you with her eyes blow wide. "are you okay? did anything happen?"

you can only pray your best friend doesn't notice your rose tinted cheeks or puffy lips - incriminating evidence that contradicts your shaking head. "no. nothing happened."

sammy laughs with relief for you. "thank god - my brother is so disgusting."

"yeah." you laugh softly.

the rest of the night, vince doesn't meet your gaze.

it has you feeling very icky and....confused. is this a usual occurrence after making out with somebody you've known your whole life? was vince kissing and not following up with any sort of interaction a normal thing for him?

so hours later, way after vince's mom had picked you all up from the party and brought you back to the dunn house (vince had hockey practice early, of course), you were determined to figure out what the hell happened in that bedroom and what it meant.

getting out of the creaky bed, you sneak out of sammy's room, leaving her and her loud snoring behind in favour of quietly making your way down the upstairs hallways - down towards closed door of vince's bedroom.

you knock once - quietly - on his door, praying that he's not yet gone to sleep and he heard your knock.

thankfully, vince answers. the door opens just a crack, his brows pulled together in confusion as he catches sight of your familiar stature through the gap - his face falls.

he pulls open the door fully, revealing his shirtless torso and pyjama pants that sat dangerously low on his chiseled hips. momentarily you're distracted. you can't help it - your teenage hormones are out of whack after that toe curling first kiss.

"what?" he huffs, crossing his arms.

you mimic his actions subconsciously. "are you going to talk to me after that?"

his brows raise questionably. "after....?"

"after you kissed me, vince."

he hums. "right, the kiss - why would I want to talk about it?"

you shrug, exasperated. "maybe because you and I have never done that before - I've never done that before."

"and?" he's looking at you expectantly.

"and," you huff, "I don't know what it means."

his face changes into something you can't decipher - maybe guilt, or possibly anger. it could even be a new version of his usual bored expression - you're not sure. vince exhales, and his arms uncross in favour of running a hand through his messy curly hair.

he meets your unsure eyes. "it means nothing, y/n. you're my little sisters best friend, okay? nothing will ever happen between us. and I know it was your first kiss or whatever, but it wasn't mine. I only kissed you so you'd stop talking, so don't be weird or annoying about it 'cause it's going to piss me off."

vince's words have you taking a visible step back, your face pulling uncomfortably as embarrassment crawls up your chest.

even though vince has never been your biggest fan, you've always liked him. there was something about vince that always has you feeling drawn in, and you always find yourself spotting him in a crowd or looking for him in a room full of others.

he was your first real crush and ever since you met him back when you were 8 and vince was turning 11, you've found yourself completely smitten with him - regardless of his grumpy and rude attitude directed towards you.

so hearing those words hurt. because after the kiss - a kiss that he initiated- you thought there could've been a small possibility that he changed his opinion of you...that he liked you back.

but clearly not.

"it doesn't matter what I do because it will piss you off regardless." you spit out, looking at him with a completely different view than you ever have before.

all vince does is roll his eyes - and that is the final nail in your coffin.

you should've given up on trying to crack vince dunn a long time ago, but the way he turned such an amazing first experience for you into a heartbreaking story is something you'll never forget- vince will forever be apart of you, no matter how badly you try to change it.

"are you done throwing a hissy fit now? i'm tired."

"yeah," you send him a sarcastic smile, the anger towards him and the situation practically vibrating off you, "i'm done."

you walk away, back down the hall in the direction of sammy's room. from this day forward, you vow to yourself to never treat vince with any less disrespect than he shows you.

you will never like vince dunn again.

christmas: 2024, december 21st

"are you guys serious right now?"

"yes honey, there's nothing we can do." your moms burnt skin is practically blinding you through the facetime video, and you can hear her beaded braids clicking against one another as he peeks over your dads shoulder.

through the phone, your dad sends you a guilty look. "because of the island's location, they only have flights once a week and due to the storm down here all flights have been cancelled for today and won’t make it out until next week."

you make a disgruntled noise, "but that will be after christmas. so i'm just supposed to spend christmas alone? - my first christmas since evan dumped me, let's not forget that mom and dad."

"i'm sorry dolly," your mom pouts, "we are upset about it too."

"yeah well at least you get to be together and spend time on a tropical island. i'm stuck in a constant freezing temperature by myself."

"don't make us feel bad honey." your dad scolds gently. it's a reminder that it's not your parents fault for their flight getting cancelled regardless of how upset you are.

you're still a little salty towards them for not bringing you on their vacation so close to christmas though, so you're allowed to feel a little annoyed.

you sigh gently, "I know i'm sorry, this just sucks." your eyes drift past your phone, finding the twinkling lights of your childhood christmas tree. your mom insists on having all the shitty ornaments you made when you were a kid still on the tree, accompanied by twinkling red and green lights that she's had since before you were born. the angel on top is missing a wing and the tree skirt is ripped but you wouldn't change it for the world.

another wave of sadness hits you as the reality sets in - you're about to be alone on christmas.

"I know - ah crap my phones about to die." your dad curses, and through the screen you watch him attempting to get rid of the low battery notification.

your mom rolls her eyes at your dads antics before she looks back at you through your phone. "we love you honey, we're sorry."

"I love you guys too."

"keep in touch, okay."

you give your parents a small smile, resting your cheek against your palm. "I will."

your parents hang up - you're not sure if it was them pressing the button or if your dads phone died, but your screen returns to normal as your mom and dads faces disappear.

you sigh gently. the house feels more empty than it did when you answered the call, knowing that you'll now be alone in it until after the holiday season is just...depressing. if this was any other year you would've invited your boyfriend over for the holiday, or perhaps you would've stayed with him and his family - but evan russell broke up with you four months ago after your college graduation.

dating one of the guys on the senior boys hockey team in high school was one of those things you weren't expecting to happen, but it just weirdly did and it worked. you two started seeing one another not long after that party where you and vince kissed - which still sends your blood boiling, by the way. evan has asked you out one day after class, and dating one of his friends pissed vince off even more.

you and evan dated for years - all through high school and college. but two weeks after your graduation, he called it off and said he needed to explore being himself and wished you well. although the breakup hurt and felt very unexpected, you respected evan and wanted what was best for him. that was until a week after the breakup you saw him posting pictures with his new girlfriend - and the respect vanished.

you open your text thread with sammy and click on the camera icon. you take a picture of yourself pouting in front of the christmas tree, looking very alone and very sad in your elf pyjamas.

y/n

these are my new christmas plans

sammy

what? wearing pyjamas still at 3 in the afternoon ?

y/n

no.

y/n

being alone on christmas. my parents flight got canceled and because the island is super remote they can't get another flight in until boxing day

y/n

so leave me and my christmas jammys alone

sammy

I love your jammys

sammy

but WHAT omg - you're not spending christmas alone

y/n

nothing I can do about it sammy

immediately after she reads the text, you get an incoming facetime call from sammy - the picture of her when she was 15 with spaghetti sauce all over her face you saved as her contact photo flashing on the screen.

you slide the answer bar, already expecting the brazen look she'll be sporting. but oddly enough, she's got an unsettling smirk on her face and you're immediately groaning. "why are you looking like you're planning on kidnapping me?"

"because I'm going to kidnap you," sammy laughs, and through the camera you watch as she sits up into a more straight position on the family couch. "mom says get over here."

just then tracy dunn pops over her daughters shoulder. she's got her apron on and you can spot the explosions of flour on the christmas cover up - she's clearly been starting early on her holiday baking. tracy gives you a stern look, "y/n honey you're not spending christmas alone - especially when you have family right here in this house. pack a bag and one of us will come get you."

in your junior year of high school sammy and the dunn family moved. thankfully, they stayed in your small southern ontario town, but instead of living two houses down from you and your family, they became a twenty minute drive away.

the garland in the doorway above sammy's head twinkles, and another pang of christmas blues hits you. a warm and inviting home with some of your favourite people was something you definitely couldn't pass up.

you eye sammy and her mom and a smile begins to grow at your lips. "okay, I'll put some stuff together for a few days."

"you're staying until your parents get back - sammy said boxing day, right?"

sammy's such a little snitch, you think. to prove your point, your best friend sends you a triumphant smile through the phone.

"yes but I don't want to oppose-"

"that's ridiculous," tracy interrupts, "you could never. sammy hang up the phone and stop distracting her, she needs to pack."

"alright." sammy moves the phone so that only she's in view, that cheeky smile still on her face. "you better go."

you nod, "if you think i'm changing out of these pyjamas though you'd be wrong."

she laughs, "i'll see you soon."

"see you soon, sammy."

she hangs up and you're immediately pushing off the couch. you pack your things as quickly as you can, gathering a weeks worth of clothes, toiletries and your favourite one direction pillow - you figure if you forget anything you can just steal sammy's.

just as you've double checked everything unnecessary is unplugged from any of the outlets, a horn honks outside - two quick beeps that alert you. you peek out the front window and see sammy's blue toyota idling in your driveway.

you grab your bag, pillow and your house keys before slipping on your winter gear over your movie themed pyjamas - the bottoms bulking up around your boots in a way that makes you look wildly non put together.

you walk wearily through the icy snow coating your driveway. you've never been good at removing snow, and you honestly should've left it and not attempted to shovel the driveway - because now you're walking on uneven, slippery, half completed snow piles.

you get in the car quickly, rubbing your hands together to create some friction - attempting to warm up your already freezing fingers. you pause to shut the car door, as well as buckle your seat belt over your puffy jacket.

the car is pulling out of your driveway before you can even fathom your surroundings. sammy has always been a nervous driver, especially in the winter, so her speedy take off has you frowning in confusion.

as you finally look towards the driver's side of the car, your face falls and suddenly the driving style makes sense.

vince eyes you quickly before finding the snow covered street again. "nice pyjamas."

"what are you doing here?"

"what am I doing here?" he repeats your question with a stupid smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, and he uses one hand to turn onto the main road. "i'm picking you up."

"no I mean what are you doing back home?"

vince shoots you an inquisitive glance. "you kind of just answered the question - it's my home."

"no," you correct, "seattle is your home."

"you keeping tabs on me, y/n?" he's clearly trying to get a rise out of you and you know him too well for that tone to fly under your radar. since that dreaded kiss between you both in high school, vince's attitude towards you changed - well, sort of. instead of the quite and bored attitude vince had for you, it has turned into something more mocking and insulting where he seemed to go out of his way to annoy you and push your buttons.

but you vowed to not give him the satisfaction of your ignorance and just ignore him - absolutely not. so you made sure you were just as petty and reciprocated every comment, action and insult. "I don't have to keep tabs on you to know you've been in seattle for a few years vincent - did you get injured again? is that why you're here?"

he tongues his cheek, rolling his eyes at your jab. "no, my schedule worked out so I can be home until boxing day."

your eyes widen, "so you'll be here the entire week?"

"don't sound too excited." vince breathes out a laugh, eyes flickering to yours again. "or I'll start to think you like my company."

"like is a very strong word." you sigh irritatedly and cross your arms. your coat makes that awkward friction noise, and all that does is further your annoyance. you turn your head to watch through the window - the sights of snow covered branches glistening in the sun, combined with the glowing lights of christmas light up the dimming sky.

you hear vince move after he makes the turn off the highway, and the sound of some shitty country song gets louder over the cars speakers. vince has always loved country, which has obviously ruined any kind of country song for you - you pray for a day when you can listen to old taylor swift without thinking of vince dunn.

the loud music has you huffing and you break your silent treatment in favour of turning down the radio - blanketing the inside of the toyota in silence.

vince shoots you an unamused look and before he has a chance to speak, or worse, turn the song back on, you interrupt him. "it's christmas, at least play something festive if I have to be trapped in this car with you for another 10 minutes."

"by all means, go ahead and get out of the car. i'll even slow down a bit so you don't hurt yourself too bad jumping out." he gestures to the car door beside you, his eyes darting quickly between you, the road, and the door.

"oh wow and here I thought you enjoyed being in here with me - I'm hurt, vincent, really." you hold your heart for a petty affect, pouting sarcastically over at him.

he laughs, a deep grumbling noise that has your smile faltering slightly. "oh please it's not like i'm here voluntarily-"

"that's a big word - who taught you that one?" you interrupt him, furthering your closed off position by crossing your pyjama covered legs. you merely miss the dial on the radio with your foot, and your anklet slides up your calf awkwardly.

the new position has your pant leg shifting so your leg is somewhat exposed. you feel momentarily embarrassed at the sight of your pale and prickly leg and instantly have the urge to change your seating position. but you don't, because you don't want vince to think you're uncomfortable- you can't give him that sort of satisfaction.

"nobody else could pick you up. that's why I'm here." vince continues right from where he left off, before you interrupted him about his 5th grade vocabulary.

you had already assumed that was the reason for vince's suprise arrival. with tracy always elbow deep in baking this time of year, john working the late shift this week and sammy's hectic winter driving - vince was the only option (even though you didn't know he was an option until he showed up - you figured he'd be in seattle like every other year).

"well If I knew that I would've stayed home." you huff.

vince eyes your boot covered foot as you anxiously shake it - with every jump it almost hits the volume dial. he mimics your deep sigh and rolls his eyes. "I wish you would've."

you don't say anything and keep your eyes trained through the front windshield. as dinner time approaches, the streets are starting to become enveloped in darkness, leaving you with that blue christmas light longing.

you can feel vince's gaze switching between the side of your face and the road, and you know it's only a matter of seconds before he spews some more nonsense that will leave you wanting to actually throw yourself out the car.

like predicted, vince starts to speak again, his unfortunately familiar voice filling the quiet rumble in the car. "how come you're not spending christmas with evan anyways? I saw that he was back home."

your head snaps in vince's direction so quickly you think there's a high possibility you've given yourself whiplash. you attempt to read his expression- trying to figure out if he was egging you on with bringing up your failed relationship or if he actually didn't know.

you decide it's the latter based on the way vince isn't even looking at you while he waits for a response, and his eyebrows are pulled together as he focuses on driving through the deep snow - he’s not watching you for a reaction.

you clear your throat quietly and look back to the road. "spending the holidays with my ex and his new girlfriend would've been a bit awkward, don't you think?"

he looks at you quickly, an unreadable expression on his flushed face . "I didn't know."

"why would you know? it's not like you would've asked about me for anything besides trying to benefit yourself."

you don't give him the opportunity to say anything else and you reach over yourself to turn the volume back up. to your surprise, vince has christmas music in his playlist and the familiar melody of michael buble fills the car.

the rest of the car ride neither you or vince say anything and choose to stew in the slightly awkward silence - the awkwardness being from the bombshell you've just dropped that you're no longer dating his friend from high school. thankfully he doesn't turn off the music like you'd done to him earlier, and the songs provide a comfortable white noise over everything else.

once vince pulls the car into his families driveway, you're immediately jumping out, grabbing your bag and pillow you'd left at your feet and booking it up the small set of stairs and into the cinnamon scented home.

you spot sammy who is still lounging in the same spot that she was in when you answered her call 30 minutes ago.

she meets your eyes and sends you a mix of a guilty and sympathetic smile, as if she was apologizing for the pain she knew you would've endured with vince picking you up without warning.

"you dick." you huff towards her. "no warning or anything?" your words have no bite as you're plopping yourself between the back of the couch cushions and sammy, cuddling into your best friends side.

she laughs, "If I told you, you wouldn't of gotten in the car."

you shrug. "would that have been so bad?"

sammy scoffs, "yes because we need you here with us for christmas."

you emit a grumbling noise and tuck your face further into your best friends side. sammy laughs again, patting your head sympathetically.

sammy has never been bothered by your ongoing battle with her older brother. in the beginning, she was just as confused as you were about his seemingly unwarranted negative attitude and sammy would often try and change his mind about you. but as the years went on and you and vince got more heated, she just accepted the fate and chose to be blissfully ignorant towards any negative situation or argument that brews between you.

vince walks through the front door with you purse clutched in his hands - you must've forgotten it in your rush to leave the tension stewing in the car.

he shoots you an unimpressed look and tosses the bag near your outstretched socked feet. you have the tiniest urge to pick up your purse and throw it back right in his face, but your contemplation is halted as tracy enters the warmly lit living room, a matching smile on her face.

"you guys hungry?"

you look away from vince and his condescending smirk - like he could read your thoughts - and force a smile.

"starving." sammy jumps away from you and off the couch, her sock feet bounding around the corner and down towards the kitchen nook.

your cheek hits the cushion, smooshing your face into the fabricated sofa. vince snickers from where he's lounging on the lazy boy, and you're pretty sure his snickering is directed at you and your awkward pose.

you sigh, pushing off the couch with the palms of your hands until you can manoeuvre back onto your feet. you tug down the hem of your pyjamas top, pulling it back into a more appropriate position from where it had risen up.

you follow in your friends footsteps and make the short journey down the wide hallway until you reach the large archway entrance of the cosy kitchen. the sight before you is memorizing, and you pause to look around. tracy had completely decorated the kitchen for the holidays - faux trees and garland lining the countertops, along with red plaid hand towels and table cloth. ribbons, dried orange garland, and the scent of gingerbread are all apart of making the kitchen feel like the warmest, comforting, festive space.

"looks amazing tracy." you say, your eyes still walking throughout the room. "like seriously."

tracy smiles, adding another platter to the just as festive kitchen table - it looks like perfectly crispy bite sized potatoes and your mouth is already watering. since you're parents have been gone on vacation you've only been eating take out or frozen meals. you've never been a good cook - one time in college you almost set your microwave ablaze trying to heat up some pizza...you still don't know how that happened.

you hear vince's footsteps approaching behind you. he must've not been paying attention, because he runs right into the back of you, sending you stumbling a few steps forward.

you spin to face him, already feeling the irritated pull on your face.

vince huffs like you're the one who ran into him - which makes you want to knee him - and pockets his phone. clearly, you were right and he wasn't looking where he was going.

"vince," sammy's teasing voice calls from the stove, where she is dipping her fingers into the squash soup and sucking the creamy vegetable liquid off them. "better get out from underneath the mistletoe or else you'll have to kiss her."

her eyes gesture between her brother and you.

much to your dismay, there is some mistletoe delicately hung onto the archway above vince.

vince raises his eyebrow in question, but his face stays flat, not giving away any thoughts or emotions.

you turn away and finally walk further into the kitchen, immediately offering help to tracy with setting the table. after all, it's the least you could do after she invited you to stay with her and her family until christmas- plus it's gets you away from vince and his punchable face.

john gets home a few minutes later, greeting you all warmly. he doesn't even seem shocked by your presence in his home, and when you tell him you'll be staying for a few days - he's not at all fazed.

thankfully dinner doesn't leave space for you and vince to get into any type of tiff. you're too busy catching up with the rest of the dunn family to even look in vince's direction, which means you remain with an appetite for the entirety of dinner.

"oh!" tracy exclaims, jumping off her chair to gather a small jar set aside on the counter. it's ceramic and red, shaped like a gift. "I almost forgot, we have to pull the names for secret santa - and y/n honey don't worry i've slipped your name in here."

"oh, you didn't need to do that." you breathe, watching tracy take off the lid of the jar.

she dismisses you with a wave of her hand like she always does - a true mother like fashion. tracy makes her husband go first, and john digs around the pieces of paper for a few seconds for dramatic affect - tracy tuts her tongue at his antics.

john emerges with one slip, taking a sneaky peek at the name he pulled out. he groans playfully, thumping his palm against his forehead jokingly. it makes you and everyone else laugh, which was obviously johns goal because he snaps out of character to join in.

soon enough it's your turn and you take one of the only remaining pieces of paper. nobody has pulled their own name yet, so you're praying you keep that streak going so it doesn't have to start all over again.

you pull sammy - her full name written in bold black ink across the rectangle piece of paper. you celebrate internally, always happy to buy things for your best friend.

vince goes next, and he reaches into the almost empty present shaped jar. from your turn you know there's only one remaining name to be picked, so there's no shuffling around for the name. vince pulls out and reads his name. immediately his eyes flicker towards his sister.

sammy gasps, pointing to him like she has it all figured out. "you so have me."

tracy scolds her, "don't guess samatha, you're going to ruin it."

"he looked at me," sammy defends herself, "not my fault he can't keep a secret."

vince smirks, "you're so easily gullible."

"enough you two." tracy scolds gently, looking between her two children quickly. "or i'll make you pick new names."

you know for a fact that vince didn't pull sammy's name because you did, so you're a bit confused at what's he's trying to accomplish here. if you try and think of an answer you'll just be more annoyed with vince, so you you disregard his behaviour.

you tuck the slip of paper between your phone and the case, keeping it close and away from samantha nosy and wondering eyes.

soon enough you're all getting ready for bed, and even though there's one bathroom upstairs between vince and sammy - you thankfully don't run into him while brushing your teeth or washing your face.

you slip into bed beside sammy who's already snoring away - you swear she's the heaviest sleeper who will always fall asleep immediately- and turn off her beside lamp.

being in this house is so comforting and familiar and it's soothing the longing ache you'd felt earlier when your parents broke the news to you regarding not coming home for christmas. you're so thankful for your best friend and her parents for immediately offering you a seat in their home for the holidays - especially considering holiday was time reserved for family.

the only thing that keeps you from falling into a quick sleep was the lingering thought of vince. you can't stop replaying your conversations from today and all his snarky, petty comments and arguments and the way he looks down at you as if you were nothing to him.

you think you'll continue to try and keep yourself in control and try your absolute hardest in not letting your irritation get the better of you and lash out at vince - especially infront of tracy and john. you don't think they'll appreciate you and their son arguing after they invited you into their home.

december 22nd

the dunn's have always had a real christmas tree. when you were younger you used to beg your parents to get rid of the plastic one they'd had for 20 years and to take you to a christmas tree farm and pick out a real one.

but you never got one because your parents didn't want to deal with the mess, so you lived vicariously through sammy and her families real tree. sure, it was messy and you had to take care of it, but the smell of fresh pine made it all worth it.

yesterday when you arrived at the house you were too overwhelmed with the news about your parents and vince's suprise arrival you didn't notice the lack of that christmas tree smell you’d grown so accustomed to.

"well, we had to wait for vince to get home. once he told us he was going to be here for a few days, I thought it be better to wait and that way it would be like when you were both little - when we'd pick out a tree together." tracy smiles warmly, her hand clutched to her chest as she reminisced when her kids were younger, running through the tree farms.

"you're insane, mom." sammy says with a mouthful of milky cheerios - red and geeen coloured for the holidays.

"not insane," tracy squeaks, "just feeling sentimental that my babies are all grown up." she wraps her daughter in a hug over the kitchen chair, almost smacking sammy in the jaw in the process.

you smile, glancing over your shoulder at them. sammy is wide eyed, staring at you in a silent way of asking for help - you giggle gently as tracy starts to rock her back and forth. your attention is brought back to the toaster as you patiently wait for your waffles to pop.

"go hug your other baby, he's the one who's never home." sammy grumbles, scooping another spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

"where is vince anyways, we have to leave soon - vince, honey come downstairs!" tracy shouts out, her voice echoing out through the kitchen and up the stairs.

the thought of the oldest dunn sibling has your face pulling in disgust, and the idea of spending more time with him is already having you feeling worn out before the day has started. thankfully, your waffles pop and you concentrate on transferring them to your plate without burning yourself, rather than vince and his stupid face.

vince rounds the corner into the kitchen and surprisingly he's not in his pyjamas still - he’s wearing some nice light wash jeans and a black hoodie, which isn't very festive compared to your leggings and red reindeer printed sweater. thankfully tracy is matching your holiday spirit, and her sweater has a big gold bow on the front that shimmers in the sun - so at least you’re not the only one looking extra.

"honey, we are leaving soon. have you eaten?" tracy asks her son. she's currently packing her purse for all the things she thinks she'll need for the day, which you're not sure how a beatles cd will come in handy - but who knows. you are thankful for the extra socks though, because the chances of you shoving vince into a snow pile are very high.

"I'll have an apple." vince says.

you finish spreading the butter over the ridges of the waffles, the solid topping turning into a delicious liquid pool in each square of the waffle. you open the cupboard above your head where the syrup is kept (because who likes cold syrup?) but it's not on the reachable shelf it usually sits - it's on the very top shelf.

at first you don't think it'll be a challenge, you're not short by any means, but as you first attempt to reach the syrup, you come up short and you can't quite reach the bottle. you huff, pushing up on to your tiptoes to try and get ahold of the syrup- but somebody beats you to it.

vince is chewing the contents of his apple completely unfazed as he comes up beside you and grabs the syrup bottle. he places it beside your plate of waffles, and you have to take a deep breathe and tune out the sound of him crunching on the apple or you may just loose it.

you eye him, "I could've gotten it."

vince’s eyebrows raise and he swallows the chunk of apple. "oh well I can put it back up there and you can try and grab it. I found it quite amusing to watch you struggle."

"but yet you helped me?"

"thought Id try and spread some christmas cheer." vince shrugs and takes the last editable bite out of his apple, now left with only the browning core. instead of walking around to the garbage can sitting on the other side of you, vince tosses the core of his apple between you and the counter.

it merely misses you and getting sticky apple juice on your festive sweater, landing in the bottom of the garbage can with a loud smack.

you inhale loudly, shooting vince another pointed look. "could start by not attempting to hit me with something covered in your saliva."

vince smirks, crossing his arms. even his bulky hoodie can't hide the thick muscles he's maintained through the season, and you catch yourself staring. "you're the only girl I know who would protest that."

you make a gagging noise, turning you attention back to your waffle - which you haven't even attempted to dress with syrup yet.

john then walks into the kitchen, clad in his winter coat and boots. "the car is brushed off and the christmas tree farm is calling our names." he claps his hands together once, rubbing them together in anticipation. "everyone excited?"

tracy immediately answers her husband yes - just as cheerful as she's been all morning. sammy immediately drops her bowl in the sink, still full of milk, and runs off as she shouts something about needing to find the perfect coat for the farm.

amongst the slight chaos, vince turns to his father and grins suspiciously large. it already has your stomach bubbling with irritation, continuing to dread the day ahead. "so excited." vince expresses.

as his dad and mom start going over their mental check list for the day, vince looks back towards you - his vision pointed and teasing.

you only hold his gaze for a few antagonizing seconds before tearing your eyes away. the way vince can so easily irritate you, and know exactly what he’s doing is so frustrating to watch. you try and mask the scowl growing on your face by taking an angry bite of your syrupless waffle.

——

"vincent i'm one second away from shoving your head into the snow." you huff, sending him a pointed look over the puffed shoulder of your coat.

"do it," vince snickers, "because then I don't have to hear your voice anymore."

you grumble his words under your breath, deeply mocking him. vince doesn't seem to hear you though because he doesn't mumble anything back in retaliation. the silence gives you a moment of peace, saved from the tangent vince had just gone on - arguing with you about the height of the tree his mom wanted (it’s 7ft ceilings - there’s no argument.)

the smell of fresh pine trees and sticky sap is the only thing keeping you sane - truly. without the scent and christmas festivities all around you, you surely would've slammed your head in the door of john and tracy's minivan by now.

after a good half hour drive to the christmas tree farm and trying to not react to vince's overly expressive comments on the way, you figured you'd be free of the oldest dunn sibling for the next couple hours - but no.

sammy's boyfriend, logan, ended up showing up and sammy was quick to totally abandon you in order to spend time with him. which you don't resent her for obviously - she never really gets to see him since he's still away at college, but without sammy as your tree picking partner, you're left with vince.

obviously this is your worst nightmare.

vince follows a few steps behind you with his hands shoved in his front jean pockets. he doesn't seem to even be looking at the trees, which only irritates you further - because why was he so adamant about arguing with you about the height of a tree if he wasn’t even going to properly look for one.

you weave through another row of trees, slowing in your steps to look over each one - inspecting every pine and bristle. because it's so close to christmas the supply at the farm is slowly dwindling, and although all rows have trees, it's looking a little sparse - the amount and the trees themselves.

you let your previously crossed arms fall, and you complete stop your steady pace. the tree in front of you looks pretty good considering the options available, with almost perfectly green bristles and that full look tracy loved so much. you eye back at vince, a questioning raise to your eyebrows. "here's a good one."

his brows pull together tightly, forming a v shape above the bridge of his noise. vince takes a step closer to the tree you’re stopped at, and after a long silent moment he just shrugs.

"what's wrong with this tree?" you huff pointedly.

"it's shit."

"it's not shit - you don't like it because I picked it and you know it's the best one we've seen so far and there's a high chance it's the best one period."

your attitude is on full display, with your hand resting on your hip as the bone juts out towards the left. your face is pulled in a mixture of confusion and frustration, blinking quickly up at vince like you're trying to literally blink him away.

it has vince biting back a satisfied smirk - he's always so amused at how easily he can rile you up, even when you try so hard to hide it. "I bet I can find a better one."

"it's four days before christmas vincent, you're not going to find a better one." you grab ahold of the rope holding the tree and follow the natural line around to the backboard behind the trees. it's hooked into some weird latch, and you quickly try and maneuver the metal clasp off the loop - desperate to get the tree and get out of there.

"you have to push before you pull." vince is much closer than before, and he reaches towards the clasp as well. his words are warm against your frost bitten face, and the press of his body against your side is an oddly chilling feeling - underneath your clothes, your skin prickles with goosebumps.

"yeah that's what i'm trying to do - but now your hands are in my way."

he huffs, "you're only pulling - I can feel it, y/n."

"I can only pull because you're not letting me push." you argue. you both don't let up, and there's a confused mix of hands trying to pick over and around one another in a competitive match to unlatch the rope from the hook on the wooden plaque.

it’s only a few more moments of battling one another before vince's uses his strength advantage to forcefully move you out of the way and pushes your body off to the side with just his hip. your hands release the hook reluctantly, which gives vince free will to fiddle with it solely.

in a surge of anger, from not only his ridiculous strength but also your lack of, you kneel down and grab a pile of fluffy snow from the base of the cut tree stumps. you quickly and messily pack it into a ball shape and before you can think otherwise, you chuck it right at vince.

it hits him square in the chest, and the snow explodes from the impact, coming up his coat and splashing against his jawline - some of the snow even slipping past the neck hole of his sweatshirt and soaking his shirt.

slowly, he looks in your direction - his face pulled in such a way that you can't tell if he's going to scream or say nothing at all. vince is met with only the sight of your wide, shocked eyes - mitten covered hands covering your grinning mouth.

"I don't know why I did that." your words are quick and muffled through the pink gloves.

vince eyes squint accusingly as he fully turns to face you. he lets go of the hold on the lock that was still very much clasped in - but he is too shocked to even begin brushing snow off himself. "are you laughing?"

you are giggling - just a tiny bit and clearly your hands aren't doing a good job at hiding it. "no."

"I obviously have to get you back for that." vince grabs his own scoop of snow in his bare hands - because he claims he's too cool for gloves - and slowly begins packing it together.

"what? no." your hands drop from your face quickly, just as much your growing smirk. "I was just in the heat of the moment and I couldn’t help myself."

he shrugs nonchalantly, and the snow ball is getting tossed between his two bare hands mockingly - teasing you. "okay? and I'm also in the heat of the moment and I don't think I can stop myself."

"vince I swear to god if you decide today is the day you choose peace and put that snow back on the ground i'll forever be in your debt - why are you looking at me like that?"

the snow ball is still, lightly clutched in just one hand as vince looks at you. he's got an unreadable expression on his face, and it's one you've never seen before - he looks approachable and soft and so unlike the vince you've known since your freshman year.

you swallow gently - nervously - eyeing him curiously as you try to read his next move and understand his next actions before they happen. “you haven't called me vince since you were 14."

you're confused and vince can see it written all over your face. the downwards pull at your lips and the way your brows crease as you try and wrack your brain for an explanation. vince continues, his words firm but not rough. "you always call me vincent...It just made me think of the real you."

you're taken back from his words. the real you - what could vince mean by that insinuation. sure you've changed since high school, especially since vince broke your heart outside his bedroom that friday night freshmen year - but you're still you...you hope so anyways.

your mouth opens but no sounds come out - you're too busy reeling in your own head that you can't yet speak anything that would remotely make sense.

"there you are!" tracy's joyful voice interrupts as she and john make their way down the isle of trees you’re both in. "we've had no luck, unfortunately."

they come to a stop beside you, oblivious to the way you've gone completely internally crazy.

"any luck for you two? sammy and logan are at the hot chocolate stand waiting on us." john states, looking between you both.

"yeah," vince clears his throat and turns back towards the tree that you two had been attempting to unlatch. this time he's able to release the christmas tree from its rope in one try. "y/n found this one."

tracy immediately starts fussing excitedly, praising your eye. she goes on about how it will look wonderful by the fireplace, and how it's branches are so full and will compliment her home made ornaments perfectly - but you don't even feel like rubbing in the fact that you were right. you don't send vince any vindictive look, or some snarky smirk that says 'I told you so.' you can only focus on what vince's statement means.

thankfully sammy is a good distraction, and when you all meet up for the first time since arriving - vince lugging the tree behind him - and all share some hot chocolate and cider, you momentarily forget about it.

after another hour or so exploring the farm, you all decide to head back home - with a surprisingly perfect christmas tree and stomachs full and warm of hot chocolate.

sammy ends up passing out on your left quickly into the drive, her head resting against the cool glass car window with gentle snores passing through her lips. she must've been feeling tired, because she faught you for your previous seat - now you're stuck in the middle.

vince's arm is pressed into yours, and with every turn or bump in the road you can feel the way his muscles contract and move - even through the material of your puffy jacket.

you keep discreetly glancing over at him. you wish that you could read his mind or pull the thoughts right out of his head and understand them - but you can't, so you stealing glances will have to do for an attempt to understand him.

with tracy and john talking with one another in the front, voices blending with the holiday music they've turned up to block out sammy's snoring, you take an opportunity to get vince's attention.

"what did you mean by the real me?" your words aren't very loud as you don't want to draw the attention of vince's parents or wake sammy - which would ruin the chance of getting an understanding of vince's earlier words.

vince’s eyes flicker over to you, reluctantly pulling his attention away from where he was watching the road ahead through the gap between the passenger seat and car wall. his eyes dance over your wind kissed face and curious eyes, analyzing you. "it meant nothing."

you blink. "nothing? i'm going crazy here thinking that i've totally morphed into this super awful human and -"

"y/n." vince interrupts you roughly, his normal bored face making an appearance. "stop." his voice is almost pleading, like if you keep talking about it he'll become overcome with pain - vince's eyes flutter closed, and his head gently falls back against the head rest.

you don't say anything else because you're too hurt to further the conversation. you purse your lips, nodding in a bitter understanding before turning your face away from vince. you focus on the winter scenery outside sammy's window, doing your best to not feel further upset by vince's words - but you can't help the nagging feelings that swirl around your stomach, and the avalanche of emotions weighing in your head.

you don't even feel angry - just confused and left wondering what you did to make vince dislike you so much.

when did he become a stranger?

december 23rd

the santa day market in your town was always one of your favourite things about the christmas season. there was something about how all the shops decorated for the holiday, the streets put up garlands and lights, and how everyone came together to celebrate the most festive time of year never failed to put you in the christmas mood.

this year was no different, and with vince's mom being the one to always make sure you and your family all went together, here you all were - obviously with the lack of your parents, but that goes without saying.

the smell of snow and apple cider flows through the busy sidewalks, further adding to the festivities all around you. there's only an hour and a bit before the annual santa clause parade kicks off, and sammy had suggested that you all take the time to find secret santa gifts - if you haven't already.

you're happy for her suggestion, because with your and vince's tiff yesterday, buying a secret santa gift has slipped your mind.

the rest of the car ride home from the christmas tree farm was very quiet - well, you and vince were quiet - sammy's snoring and the music continued as loud as ever. the vibe between you and the oldest dunn sibling had changed, but not in the way you were now realizing you wanted it to change.

for the rest of the night, if vince did talk to you it wasn't with anger and irritation like you'd grown used to. instead he sounded more disappointed? maybe guilty? but then again, maybe your brain is trying to turn vince softer than he is, and he's not feeling any sort of remorse or guilt about how the conversation in the car went between you and it’s all in your head.

you push open the glass door of one of the boutiques lining the main street, the holly decorated wreath swinging against the window as you do so. inside is surprisingly busy considering all the attention seems to mostly be outside - but thankfully it's a relatively big store - full of cute clothing, accessories and anything in between - meaning you can browse freely without feeling overwhelmed.

it doesn't take long to start spotting things sammy would like, and you begin to make a mini collection of things in your arms. shopping for your best friends has always been so easy. sammy loves knitted sweaters, and you know she'd always wear one. she's also into perfumes and decorative tote bags. graphic baby tees, comfy pyjamas and lip gloss were also apart of sammy's never ending arsenal.

but with that being said, you can never pick exactly what you want a to give her. you always want it to be a perfect gift, and you have a hard time trying to pick one perfect thing - hence the heavy armful of various gift options.

something partnered catches your eye, and you find yourself double taking in its direction. it's beautiful throw blanket, and the soft material is decorated with vintage looking holiday homes, greenery and snowflakes- it's beautiful. with your free hand, you reach out and touch the front of it, gliding your hand across the baby soft blanket. you're immediately in love with it, and the urge to scrap the whole secret santa thing and spend your entire budget on the - no doubt - expensive throw is very strong.

but obviously that's not an option, and you'll have to just dream about the blanket longingly while your best friend enjoys her secret santa gift.

"your boots undone." you look away from the shelf loaded with various holiday blankets and in the direction of the voice.

it's vince, and you curse yourself for not registering the familiarity of his voice sooner. he's not holding any shopping bags, meaning he either previously bought his secret santa their gift, or he hasn't found anything yet.

you look down to your winter boots, which you can barley see over the monstrous pile of things still tucked against the crook of your elbow. vince is right - your left lace isn't tied up and is hanging dangerously, very close to causing you to trip.

"okay," you hum, eyes flickering back up towards him. "and what am I supposed to do about that right now?" it's a bold and snappy response from you considering the awkward and unknown vibes that have been circulating around you and vince the past 24 hours - but you can't help it, and falling into the original pattern between you is very easy.

vince still hasn't moved from a few feet away from where you had been looking at the blankets. his eyes dance between your face, the present options in your arms and the undone shoe lace.

suddenly he’s on the move and he walks towards you wordlessly. before you can register what he's doing, vince is tying your lace back up. he's down on one knee, which would usually give you the ick, but it seemingly doesn't - vince even double knots the lace, which is the cherry on top of your guilty ice cream.

once he returns to his full height and sends you a closed mouth smile, you further regret your snappy response about the undone shoelaces.

once again, vince's eyes wander down to the pile in your arms and his brows pull together in what looks like concern - whether that concern is for your arm strength or the amount of things in them...you'll never know.

"don't worry vince i'm not your secret santa."

his eyes change, a flicker of something you recognize but can't put your finger on - but it has your weird nervousness settling down. vince snickers softly, almost like he was laughing to himself. "thank god for that - I don't think those clothes would fit me."

your chest flutters with something like relief, and although you know you shouldn't so easily forget about vince's cold shoulder yesterday, it's hard when his gentle laughter warms your belly unexpectedly. so for now you decide to forget, and a small smile pulls at your lips as you eye vince teasingly. "mhmm I don't know, I think you could rock these pink frills."

his brows raise slightly, pleasantly surprised at your playful expression. "just because I would, doesn't mean I should." vince picks up a bedazzled set of salt and pepper shakers nearby and inspects them closely. you think they're gaudy and clearly vince thinks the same - he glances at you and pulls a face, putting down the set of sparkly condiment holders.

"oh, you think you're hot stuff?" you tease him further, the comment about the pink frilly sweater still prevalent on your mind.

vince snickers one more, gently prodding the side of his cheek with his tongue to stop his smile from growing any further. he doesn't answer your question but the look on his face is enough of an answer. "you're not getting sammy all of that are you?" his gaze shifts back towards the pile in your arms, and he even reaches out and tugs on one of the arms from a patterned top.

"wha!" you stutter a mixed sound of huh and what passing through your open mouth - your eyes blown wide as you eye him questionably. "how do you know I have sammy?”

vince smirks, "process of elimination."

you squint at him accusatorially, trying to decide if he actually has done some process of elimination in his head, or if vince is just trying to trick you into telling him who you’re secret santa for. "fine," you hum, admitting defeat. "no i'm not getting sammy all of this! I just....cant decide."

vince smiles victoriously - obviously he knew he was right. "you're so indecisive."

"no, i'm not." you sing song.

vince matches your pitch, mimicking you. "you are."

"you don't even know what you're talking about." you breathe gently, a small bubble of laughter following.

"okay, then go put some stuff back if you're so sure and not indecisive." vince eyes you challengingly, gesturing towards the bustling shop.

"fine," you chirp. "don't miss me too much."

"oh," he laughs, "I won't."

you walk back through the store, slowly putting the random things back into appropriate spots. you don't even remember picking up a zebra printed scarf, but there it was in your arms - and you can't help but pull a face as you hang it back around a mannequin.

"y/n y/l/n is that you?" evan's voice is practically engraved in your memory at this point, and you'd recognize it even over the cheery christmas music blaring through the stores speakers.

you turn towards the direction of his voice, and unfortunately your mind wasn't playing tricks on you - your ex boyfriend was in the shop, looking at you with a bright smile and snow dusted coat. to make everything 10 times worse than it already was, his new girlfriend was wrapped around his arm, just as happy looking as evan.

your face pales, and you slowly finish putting away the sparkly handbag on the shelf in front of you - previously stopping once each called your name. "yeah, it's me."

they walk right up to you, clearly unbothered by the whole situation. evan looks like he's greeting an old friend from highschool - one that he wasn't in a loving relationship with for years and broke up with only weeks ago. it stabs at your chest, even though you don't love him anymore. "wow, I wasn't expecting to run into you here." evan exhales, eyeing you with a curious gaze.

you wonder if he’s analyzing you - looking for damage he caused after your breakup. you’re happy that you washed your hair this morning and put on some proper makeup before coming out, and that you look - hopefully - somewhat presentable - you don’t want to boost your exes ego by letting him think he has any affect on you.

how evan wasn't expecting to see you in a town you live in and always have lived in is beyond your thought process - but evans never been the sharpest tool in the shed, so it makes sense. he continues, "are you here by yourself? or is your mom around here somewhere? I swear I was just telling jen about how much your mom used to love this store -" you zone out - oh so she has a name?

"hey I was wondering where you went." vince's words are a shock, and the way his large palm touches your lower back and slowly wraps around to the front of your torso even more so. "thought we agreed to meet back up outside the store - not inside."

you blink, looking back at vince. "what?" ever so slightly his eyes widen as if he's trying to tell you to go with it.

"dunner? holy shit" evan's voice brings you back to reality. "what are you doing home?"

vince looks away from you, and an easy going smile takes over his face. "my schedule worked out and was able to come home for christmas. thank god because I was missing y/n/n too much."

"you were?" you gawk.

vince’s teeth are clenched tightly, but his smile never waivers as he looks down at you once again. "of course babe." his fingers pinch your belly gently, another reminder to play along.

babe. oh.

"babe?" evan questions. his blue eyes flicker between you and his old friend, and you can practically see as the puzzle pieces in front of him piece together - the hand around your waist, the pet name, the look in your eyes he's never seen before. "you guys are together?"

you nod once and you sort of resemble a robot with the almost reluctant movement- vince has to take a deep, calming breath and resist the urge to die at the cause of your awful acting. "yeah, we are together."

your conformation has evan smiling - which you don't think would happen. you expected a grimace or even some sort of negative outburst at his ex and his old friend dating - but no. "I always thought you two secretly liked each other - all that hating each other crap wasn't believable."

vince goes stiff behind you, and even though he recovers quickly, you still feel it. you can't believe this is happening. you think the world might swallow you up and save you from the awkwardness that is this conversation.

completely oblivious, evan continues. " isn't it crazy how we both found our true matches after each other." the look evan sends jen has you feeling even more embarrassed and miserable, and you can't decide if your going to laugh, cry, or throw up - or all three.

"we should probably go," jen pats evan's peck affectionately. "your parents are already at the parade spot waiting for us."

"it was nice seeing you guys - you look great together." evan smiles at you both, wrapping an arm around his girlfriends shoulders as they steer through the crowd inside the shop, and make their way towards the exit.

evans words continue to ring through your head as you check out at the cash register. you ended up choosing the very first thing you picked up for sammy, because your first option is always the one you go back to.

you leave the store quickly after getting the gift receipt, and vince is close on your heels as you two make your way down the busy sidewalk.

"are you okay?" vince almost sounds cautious with his tone, and you can feel his eyes flicking across your side profile - trying to find the answer to his question before you tell him.

you glance up at him quickly. “If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were worried about me." your attempt at humor isn't working, and vince doesn't crack even a half smile at your teasing. your face falls, and you sigh gently, "i'll be fine."

he nods thoughtfully, but doesn't seem all that convinced by your words. it's silent for a few moments between you, walking together down the sidewalk back in the direction of where tracy told everyone to meet back up at - right under the clock tower for the parade.

"it’s okay if you're feeling hurt after seeing evan and his new girlfriend. just because you don't love him anymore, doesn't mean it's nice to see that." after a few beats, vince sighs. "do you remember amanda?" he asks you curiously.

your nose scrunches unpleasantly - how could your forget amanda? amanda was vince's awfully short-term girlfriend in the summer going into your sophomore year of highschool - his first year of college. she was very picky, rude, and always made sure to remind everyone that she felt that she was superior to them. you make a noise between a gag and a scoff. "I hated her."

vince laughs once, shoving his hands in his pockets as continue to walk through the busy sidewalks. "I could tell. honestly, she didn't like you either."

"I knew it." you cheer vindictively, because you knew you weren't crazy for thinking that - even though sammy disagreed. "she used to give me these dirty looks - specific ones like she was trying to burn me alive using just her eyes." your gaze flickers back to vince, and your brows pull curiously. "why did you break up? besides the obvious….witchy reasons."

he smiles softly and shrugs. "amanda was never shy about expressing her feelings about anything or anyone, which I never faulted her for even If i disagreed. but when she started talking badly about you, I broke it off."

"oh."

vince continues. "I never let anybody talk about you negatively, y/n. ever. and amanda wasn't an exception to that." he swallows gently, eyes dancing over your face. his expression is soft again, and familiar. it’s a look that makes you forget that the vince in front of you right now is the same one who broke your heart in high school - the same vince you thought you hated.

you now notice that you've both stopped walking and are standing still in the middle of the sidewalk. the sky is practically enveloped into darkness now, only lit up by the buildings light glow and christmas lights decorating the street.

you feel so seen in this moment - you feel completely normal. vince is looking at you in a way you've never seen before, and you can't help but wonder if he's always been looking at you like this but you've been too blinded by words to notice.

vince clears his throat, and a breathy chuckle passes his lips. "I mean after all, i'm the only one who gets to be a dick to you…right?”

his words feel like a slap in the face. is vince admitting that he only defended you to amanda because he was upset somebody else was being mean to you besides himself? - rather than the sole purpose of defending you because he cares about you? you don't let yourself outwardly show how vince's words affected you, and you force a gentle smile. "right."

you don't want to get upset and ruin the relationship dynamic between you and the vince standing infront of you - because something has undoubtedly changed. you're not sure what it is yet, but you like this version of you and vince better than any version from the past 10 years.

you also don't know what vince means with his last comment, and you're not sure if you want to know. so you choose to ignore it - just like you ignored the situation between you yesterday and how you've ignored the unspoken and underlying issue of your and vince's relationship for years.

december 24th

"stop moving or the walls are going to fall."

"the walls are going to fall because you're not using enough icing - it's going to fall weather i'm holding it together or not." vince expresses. to prove his point, he loosens his push on the gingerbread house wall, and it immediately wobbles and begins to collapse inwards.

vince brings his thumb up towrds his mouth and sucks some of the store bought vanilla icing off the digit. his eyes don't leave you as he does so- trying to fluster you with his actions. you narrow your eyes pointedly, which makes a smirk appear on vince's flushed face. he laughs at your attempt at looking annoyed all while trying to keep the sad gingerbread house from completely collapsing.

vince's mom had magically pulled out two separate gingerbread kits in the late afternoon after she put the honey ham in the oven. sammy was up on her feet immediately at the sight, her competitive nature coming to a tilt - which meant that she needed the gingerbread building to be a competition, and claimed her boyfriend as her building partner.

logan doesn't protest the partnership, which leaves you and vince no choice - if this was the beginning of your stay with the dunn family, having vince be your partner would've sent you to the grave, but now with some of the negative air clearing, you don't hate the idea, but quickly into the start of your timed - yes sammy insisted the building to be timed - gingerbread house competition, vince is proving to be rather difficult to work with.

vince seems more interested in teasing you and trying to push your buttons in a almost flirtatious way, and if he's not talking, he's completely trying to change any of your previous work and alter the look of the gingerbread house - claiming 'it looks too similar to theirs, c'mon y/n/n we gotta step it up.'

"just get the gumdrops out." you dismiss him, looking away from his intense gaze and back towards the gingerbread. thankfully you've managed to get the house back into its original stature, and the house is looking less sad and lopsided than before - although some of the icing has glooped and dropped off the seams and made a sticky mess on the candy rock path.

vince snickers at your demand, finishing up with the icing residue on his thumb - because he knew if he passed you a sticky, icing covered gumdrop package you'd loose your mind. "where do you want them coach?" vince's words are softly spoken against your ear as and attempt to try and keep your discussion from being overheard by his sister and logan across the table.

you hold back the pleasant shutter that wants to take over your body, and keeping your eyes on the gingerbread house is the best way to stay calm and collected - if you look at vince right now you may crumble. what is wrong with you right now? "I think under the windows? a boarder around the house will bring it all together."

you gesture to the part of the house where the brown cookie meets the flimsy plastic base, which is only covered in icing and is severely lacking decor.

vince hums. "really? I feel like the roof is the only thing that looks incomplete. I think the gumdrops will look better there." he runs one of his fingers on the ridge where the two pieces of cookie meet, mimicking the point of a roof.

"what?" you screech slightly, gaze flickering between the cookie creation and vince. "I think the roof looks cute how it is - with the peppermint swirls"

"yes but look at logan and sammy's -" you do as he says and let yourself finally look at your friends gingerbread house. you can tell logan has had absolutely no say in the design of the house, and it's clearly the cause of a sammy dictation. vince continues, "all they've got on the roof is peppermint swirls. adding the gumdrops to our house will make it stand out. you want to win right?"

you look back at vince and nod definitively. "yes, I want to win."

he smiles. "atta girl, wanna put them on?"

you flush a deep red at his words. "no, you do it. If I do it you'll end up moving them anyways."

your teasing doesn't go unnoticed by vince, and he clicks his tongue in a playful manner, "yeah because you probably wouldn't of done it right."

the wine you've been sipping all afternoon and into the evening is definitely tinkering with your emotions - vince the same. it would explain how the evening between you is flowing so smoothly, and any teasing dig is met with laughter instead of anger. you giggle quietly, "you're so annoying."

vince ducks his head to keep your eye contact once you begin to smile downwards into your chest. his smirk doesn't dissolve, and if anything, it changes into a more sultry one. "I know you love it y/n/n, you can't deny it." he licks his bottom lip, wetting the pink skin so it glistens. vince chuckles, "now move your hand...unless you want to be covered in gum drops."

he then proceeds to add a single file line of gumdrops on the roof, sticking the widest part of the gummy candy into the dewy icing that holds the pieces in place. in the most obnoxious and high pitched voice you can manage, you repeat vince's words back to him. you watch as vince smiles and a few laughs bubble up his chest at your teasing - he doesn't look away from the task at hand and continues decorating your gingerbread house.

you feel like you're in freshman year again, stealing secretive glances at your best friends older brother while he wasn't paying attention. vince looks almost the same as he did when you were younger, but his teenage features have chiseled out, leaving him with the most sculpted and attractive profile. god this wine is really changing you - your fluttering heart and butterfly filled stomach are really a recipe for disaster.

"okay kids one more minute left for your houses, then dad and I will come in and judge them." tracy tells you all from around the corner, not quite yet coming fully into the kitchen to avoid spoiling the houses for herself. you hear sammy curse from her moms warning, and she starts frantically looking for the mini snowflakes to icing glue onto the window sills of her and logan's gingerbread house.

vince looks back towards you, and once he catches your gaze already on him, his smirk slinks back upwards. "any finishing touches?"

you're not even embarrassed at being caught, and you don't mind how smug vince looks at the sight of your clear attraction. you shake your head, "no...it's perfect."

vince can't help his eyes from flickering down to your lips, lingering on your wine painted flesh for a few moments before dragging his eyes back up your face. his brow quirks curiously, but the smile he's wearing never wavers. "I agree."

tracy and john come in after you've all cleaned up the area and presented your respective gingerbread houses in a viewing manner - displaying them proudly on the kitchen island. it doesn't take long for them to decide their winner, and when the dunn couple gestures to your amd vince's candy land themed house, you cheer. vince squeezes around your waist, pulling you into his side, exclaiming that he knew you could beat sammy.

that has her scoffing, "you two are so annoying." she's not being serious - the tiny smile on her face giving it away. logan kisses her temple reassuringly, promising that her gingerbread house is his favourite.

"don't be a sore loser." vince laughs, eyeing his sister victoriously.

"now, vince you're not one to talk." tracy corrects him, and a small smile pops on her face. she tries to hide it behind her hand as she continues. "you used to get so upset when you were little if we picked sammy's house. you'd cry like a baby and beg for us-"

"alright mom." vince stops her with laughter.

"oh my god, so you've always been a big baby?” you look up at him teasingly, a challenging lift to your eyebrows.

"oh, always." you laugh at that, allowing yourself to further lean into vince's side. he smells like grape wine and cinnamon, completed with a hint of store bought icing - an interesting combination by somehow its smells exactly like him.

it's an odd place to be - next to vince and so willingly giving in to the urges you've been suppressing for years. allowing yourself to be wrapped up in his presence and the comfort of all things vince - his almost always flirtatious smirk, the spicy scent he's always bathed in and the way his gaze always seems to linger.

you don't hate vince dunn - you never have. even when he broke you heart in freshman year and left you to cry silently beside his sister in bed, you didn't hate him, you just hated how he made you feel. you had a hard time accepting that vince didn't like you back - whether it was because you were too young or because he simply didn't feel that way for you, you struggled with that fact, which lead to your own feelings converting into a more harsh and negative outlook towards vince.

you realize now, even after 4 or 5 hefty glasses of warm wine, that you were wrong in the way of dealing with your feelings - and by no means does that excuse the way vince has behaved, but you are willing to hear him out....that is if he wants to talk about it. perhaps when you're both a bit more sober tomorrow - your brain reminds you quickly.

after a few classic movies - the grinch being sammy's pick and christmas vacation being johns - tracy had mentioned that santa won't come unless you're all in bed. her sing song tone has everyone giggling in the dim family room, only illuminated by the twinkling christmas tree in the corner, the laughter coming easy with your stomachs full of honey ham and wine.

it's not long after that, and a few more minutes of meaningless conversation, you all slowly head to bed. there's a good 5 minutes that sammy makes you lay face down in her bed while she wraps her secret santa gift (the queen of last minute). anytime she curses and you can hear the wrapping paper tear, it has you giggling into the pillow - which then leads to sammy trying to scold you but her giggles vito any kind of rebuke.

you're still not ready for bed by the time sammy finishes gift wrapping - which ended up being way longer than 5 measly minutes. as soon as she allows you to get off her bed, you're instantly calling dibs on the bathroom and you quickly grab your snowflake patterned toiletry bag and slip out of the room.

the bathroom is steamy, and the mirror along with the damp floor mat indicates somebody is not long out of the shower - presumably vince since he's the only other one on the upstairs floor.

you wipe the condensation off the mirror with the palm of your hand, cleaning the glass so you are able to properly see yourself while you unwind for the night. you begin going through your skin-care routine, granted with the alcohol pumping through your bloodstream, it isn't as skillful or in depth as it normally would be - when you wipe your face with the towel, there's black marks of mascara left behind.

you dig for your toothbrush in the clutter of your toiletry bag, excited for the last step in your night routine before you're able to get back in bed. you locate it and let out a triumphant breath - taking the tube of toothpaste out of the holder as you do so.

a knock on the open bathroom door stops you, and through the mirror you look up and see vince. you were correct in assuming it was him in the shower as he stands there now with damp hair, and fresh cologne scented skin - you're pretty sure there's still a few drops of water sliding down his pecks, because of course he's only got pyjamas bottoms on right now, leaving his torso completely bare.

"I forgot to brush my teeth." he says warmly. vince holds your eye contact through the mirror, watching the way you blink at him all flirtatiously - god this wine is really doing a number on your suppressed feelings.

you glance over your shoulder. "I don't mind company."

vince walks further into the dewy bathroom, rounding to the other side of you. he quirks a brow in your direction. "even mine?"

you watch him pick up his own toothbrush, gliding a dollop of toothpaste over the blue bristles. you put your own minty toothbrush in your mouth, holding it in your cheek momentarily. "even yours."

vince's smirk can't even be hidden by his toothbrush, which he shoves in his mouth - brushing his perfect teeth around his undeniable amused grin. his firm brushing movements, combined with his lack of shirt give you the perfect view to watch his muscles as they shift and flex beneath his soft skin, creating a much unexpected sensation to run through you.

vince catches your stare, the movements of his toothbrush coming to a slow pause as he looks back at you. you don't feel the need to shy away from his sensual gaze like you normally would find yourself doing, but instead you hold the eye contact - your own smile forming around the handle of the toothbrush.

you lean forward to spit into the sink, rinsing your mouth with some running water from the tap before rising back to your full height.

vince follows suit, spitting his excess foamy toothpaste into the sink, letting the water wash away any remnants down the drain. you put your toothbrush back into its respective holder and shove it back in your toiletry bag. you tuck your bag under your arm just as vince stands back up, wiping his mouth of any leftover water.

there's a moment then where you're just looking at one another through the foggy bathroom - your eyes locked together say enough than your mouths could ever. regret, apologies, uncertainty, teasing, flirting, the unkown...the gaze you're locked in says it all.

your belly swoops, and this time you know it's because of vince - it's always been because of vince. "goodnight vincent." the use of his full name is only used as a playful and amorous parting, and you blink towards him slowly and innocently. you turn away from him just as slow as your fluttering eyes.

his bottom lip tucks between his teeth as he watches you - vince knows that you know exactly what you're doing and it has him acting before his brain can even comprehend itself.

he grabs your wrist and spins you back around before you even step foot outside the bathroom. your bag falls to the floor from the sudden movement, and you know you didn't zip it properly, so you're not looking forward to dealing with that mess - but the way vince grabs your face roughly and kisses you has you forgetting all about it.

the kiss is immediately rough and fast - a mixture of longing and desire stemming from many years of doubt and fear, crumpled into one explosive kiss. you're both instantly grabbing at one another, desperate to feel one another to a greater extent. vince's hands are all over your body, like he can't decide where he wants to touch you most. he's running his fingers through your hair, gently tugging the roots at the base of your neck in a way that has you groaning into his mouth. his hands glide over your body, paying attention to every curve and dip as he holds and grabs you.

you’re no better with your hands frantically running over his toned exposed skin. your nails gently rake over his abs, and you can feel the affect the feeling has on vince as goosebumps form right under your fingertips. you're holding the budge of his biceps, keeping him close to you as you both continue the electric kiss. the room suddenly seams as steamy as ever, the thick and hot air surprising you, further contributing to the hurried movements and messy tangle of lips.

vince spins you around once again, so your back is towards the vanity mirror. your lower back bumps the edge of the ceramic countertop, and not even the bruising sting can register in your mind over the way vince is kissing and touching all over your skin. smoothly as ever, vince's lips pull away from yours, giving you the time and space to collect your laboured breath. his kisses move down from the corner of your mouth and across your warm jawline. you gasp and wither against him, eyes fluttering shut as the sensation of his sloppy kisses move towards your neck.

vince reaches the junction of your neck and shoulder, and he wastes no time in suckling the soft and flushed skin. without pulling away from you, he uses his foot to shut the bathroom door and the gentle thud echos throughout the hallway.

"is this okay?" he speaks against your skin, his mouth detaching from the blossoming hickey he'd been working on. vince fully pulls away from you, much to your dismay, and meets your gaze - a questioning haze in his eyes, reflecting his question.

you sigh, "yes. more than okay."

this time, you're the one to reach for him, and you pull his head down so you're able to meet for another heavy kiss. vince's tongue swipes against your bottom lip quickly, asking for entrance to further explore to kiss once again. you let him, again, letting your tongues glide and slip around one another in the midst of your make out.

vince uses his leg to gently prod your thighs apart, which you had previously been desperately clenching together in search of the tiniest bit of friction. as soon as vince's chiseled, defined leg muscle settles between your legs, providing a deliciously sharp and satisfying touch to your fluttering core, you're moaning.

instinctively, your hips begin to move against him, searching for that release. one of vince's hands leave its spot from where it was previously holding around your neck, and slinks down your body until he's landing on your ass. with a guiding hand, he firmly grabs ahold of one asscheek and begins to pull and push you over his thigh - helping your grind against him.

you pull away from his mouth as you become too built up with the empending release that is on the horizon. you breath heavily, and your eyes are screwed shut as vince continues to drag your clothed core against his covered thigh. you're sure your thin candy cane printed pyjama shorts are drenched in your own arousal, leaking onto the plaid material of vince's pants - but you don't even care or feel embarrassed...if anything it's turning you on further, and from the hard bulge pressing against your leg, it seems to be doing the same for vince.

vince's forehead falls against yours, bringing you back to the reality of the situation. through your lashes, you look up at him, only to find he's already watching you - watching every single twitch of a reaction on your flushed face. "I'm close." your sighed words are quickly morphed into a moan as vince's grip tightens on your ass.

"fuck. wanna come like this?" he questions quickly, continuing to move your hips forward and backwards against him.

you mewl slightly, and if you don't stop soon you will end up further soaking his pyjamas bottoms as you cum. "I want you to be inside of me."

"yeah?" vince breathes out, his guiding movements coming to a slow stop at your words. you nod against him, and your hips continue to jut over him at just the mere thought of vince filling you up. "fuck okay, let's turn around yeah?"

you let him handle you easily, vince spinning your body until your belly is pushing against the counter top. with a firm hand he pushes on the middle of your spine until you’re naturally lying flat on the counter, and your legs spread automatically.

vince is immediately pulling down your shorts and you moan out at the feeling of the material sticking to your seeping core, no doubt dripping with your edging release. the bathroom is burning hot, and the mirror has gone completely opaque from the steam caused by your and vince's interlocking lips and steamy touches. it has everything feeling much more sensual and sexy - and the tension of your impending release is becoming almost painful.

you wiggle your hips around, pushing as far back as you can with the limited space in search of vince's hips. "be paintent." vince tuts his tongue against the roof of his mouth, and then you feel the press of his torso against your back. he presses a kiss to your exposed shoulder from where your oversized shirt has slipped down. "I was admiring the view." to further accentuate his words, two of his fingers slide through your wet folds, moving to collect your arousal.

you bite your lip, sighing pleasantly at the feeling of pressure from vince's fingers prodding your entrance, moving up to flutter over your throbbing clit. "you can admire the view another time, vince - please fuck me."

vince's large palm comes down and smacks the round of your ass. you let out a breathy laugh, the sound almost resembling a squeal at the feeling. it has vince smirking as he soothes the sting by rubbing over your reddening ass.

your laughter quickly shifts into a deep mewl as vince's head prods your entrance, almost immediately slipping into your opening from the dripping arousal. you push your hips backwards and he fully slides into you, filling you completely. your ass brushes against vince's hipbones, taking the length of his dick completely.

"shit." he curses, twitching inside you. vince grabs ahold of your hips, and immediately starts to pull out of you. just before his head has a chance of leaving your tight entrance, vince pushes his length back into you fully, igniting another round of moans from you both.

"keep doing that." you are practically begging him as you try and look over your shoulder and attempt to catch the sight of his length plummeting in and out of your pussy. you bite your lip, trying to hold onto some of the moans you're desperately wanting to let out. "fuck i'm not going to last long - you feel too good."

vince moans, and his eyes flicker away from where your bodies are frantically moving and connecting together in favour of meeting your eyes. "you're so hot, fuck the way you look at me - i'm trying really hard to not destroy you right now."

"you think you're hot stuff?" you challenge him, unable to resist the temptation of being playful with vince.

vince bites into his lips at your comment, holding onto his sultry smirk. without stopping his thrusts into you, he lets go of his grip on your hips and reaches up to your biceps. vince pulls your body off the counter, back until your flush against his warm chest. one of his hands wraps around your torso, keeping you in place, while his other reaches past you to wipe the sticky condensation off the mirror - giving you a hazy view of your intertwined bodies.

the sight of his dick nestled so far into your pussy is instantly making you moan, and you clench around his length automatically. vince curses at the feeling, and his hand that he used to wipe the mirror with now comes up around your shoulders and neck, wrapping around you to further keep you pressed to him. vince continues his forceful and steady thrusts into your entrance, and with the new angle of your bodies, they feel even deeper and better than before. "holy shit, vince - yes, just like that."

"can feel you squeezing me," he huffs into your neck, pressing a quick kiss to your salty skin. your shirt has slipped further down your arm, and has left your boob exposed, bouncing roughly against you as vince pounds into your pussy from behind.

it looks like something straight out of a porno in the bathroom mirror, and even through the fog that is building back over the mirror, you can see the way you're dripping onto the floor as your orgasm approaches.

your hand reaches up and grips vince's forearm, grounding yourself from his eye-rolling thrusts up into you. "you gunna cum, pretty girl? fuck you're making a mess on the floor."

"yes, yes, yes." you chant breathless, and your eyes begin to flutter shut as the coil in your stomach begins to snap. your head lolls backwards, falling against vince shoulder and as he continues his feverish pace into you, the band snaps and your orgasm comes to a hilt. "i'm cumming." you whine, your nails digging into the skin of vince's arm as you ride the high of bliss.

behind you, vince begins to chase his own approaching release. his hips smack against your ass at a frantic speed and he continues to thrust into your slippery, sopping pussy. his movements soon become less organized and in sync as he comes close. vince tilts you back down towards the counter, laying you down flat once more as he approaches his high. with only a few more rough pumps into you, vince pulls out of your warmth and blows his load onto your red ass, spewing up to your lower back and creating a sticky, hot, white mess on you. "holy shit."

"holy shit." you repeat.

a few beats pass until vince is cleaning his load off your body, delicately wiping away all traces of his cum with some tissue before immediately flushing the evidence down the toilet.

the bathroom is ridiculous hot and sticky, and no doubt your hair has turned into a frizzy and disgruntled mess. the thought of having to put your soaked pyjamas shorts back on is detrimental, and you're so worn out from vince taking you to pound town that you debate falling asleep on the counter - naked from the waist down and everything.

vince laughs gently at your lack of energy, and he lightly taps your ass cheek to grab your attention. he's pulled his pants back up, and there's a visible wet mark from your earlier grinding - but he doesn't mind one bit. "you need help getting up?"

"yeah." your muffled whine has him laughing further, but he doesn't ignore you. gently, vince helps you off the counter and into a standing position. your knees wobble slightly and vince's smirk grows. you eye him pointedly. "don't smirk - you did this to me."

"you asked for it." he reminds you gently. you scowl slightly, and that has vince's soft laughter continuing. you can't be upset when he helps you pull your pyjamas back on, letting you use his shoulder for balance as he makes you lift one foot at a time into the leg holes of your christmas jammies. "need help getting into bed?"

you walk slightly and although you're a bit shaky, you can still move somewhat normally. you look at vince, "no, i'll be okay." you look towards the mess on the floor caused by your spilled toiletry bag - various things of makeup and skincare scattered in the tiles. you don't think you have the capacity to bend down and pick that up right now.

as if he can read your mind, vince bends down and begins to gather your things. "I can clean this - it's the least I could do." he looks up at you from one knee and sends you a quick wink. for a second you have the dirty thought of vince on his knees in front of you, except of cleaning up your things he's got you pushed against a wall, your legs spread open as he attacks your pussy with his mouth - licking and kissing against your heat until you’re screaming.

unfortunately you don't think your trembling body could handle that right now - it can barley handle standing. so instead of that, you smirk down at him. "goodnight."

"goodnight," his smile widens.

after one more sultry glance, you hobble back down the hall and towards sammy's room. you gently open the door, trying your best to keep quiet. like you hoped it would be, the room is completely dark and the sound of sammy's light snoring alerts you to her sleeping state.

you celebrate internally, happy that you don't have to answer a line of questions about why you've been in the bathroom for 30 minutes when you should've only been gone for 10 max.

you slip into bed gently, allowing your racing heart to have a chance to finally return to its normal beating pattern. thoughts of vince and the activities you've just participated in together - in the childhood bathroom no less - running through your mind. as much as you enjoyed and loved the sex you just experienced with vince, the question about your relationship still remains.

you're not sure if the sex will change anything between you, negatively or positively, but you know the conversation needs to happen. as you're falling into a slumber, dread as well as excitement is flowing through your veins - the unknown of it all very much present.

december 25th

"we have arrived - merry christmas!" sammy's voice is rather cheerful considering the early morning, but it is christmas so that's definitely a factor to her tone. you follow behind her down the stairs as you both descend into the family room, both in your christmas pyjamas and slightly hungover - you in different pyjamas than the ones you ruined last night.

"merry christmas!" tracy cheers from the couch, a steaming cup of coffee in her hands. she looks not long awake, with her eyes still squinty and smile still sleepy. it's only 8 o'clock , but the tradition in the dunn household on christmas morning was always an 8 a.m. wake up call, and that wasn't going to change this year.

it seems like you and sammy are the last ones downstairs with the sight of tracy on the couch and john beside her, his own steaming mug sitting on a santa face coaster on the coffee table. just then, vince emerges from the kitchen with two mugs in his hands. you can smell hot chocolate, so you can only assume that's the contents of the coffee mugs.

"oh vince, are those for us?" sammy is instantly bounding over to her brother. she leans in and sniffs the drink, and a bright smile grows on her face as she does so. she takes her gnome design mug out of his hands, and skips over to the couch with her hot chocolate - merely missing spilling the entire drink on the rug.

vince passes you the other mug wordlessly. it is hot chocolate, completed with mini marshmallows and tiny pieces of crushed candy canes - a christmas morning classic. you look up at him gently, and you can't help the bright smile that grows on your lips at just the sight of vince. "hey, thanks."

vince nods and...that's it. he walks passed you and around the reclining chair that lines the entrance of the family room. your face falls with disappointment, and you can't help but feel embarrassed regarding the hopes following your actions last night. it's fine if vince still doesn't want you in any way thay you've been wanting him, but not even a 'you're welcome' or a 'hello’ stings.

you take a seat beside sammy, who once you're seated , immediately starts pitching to her parents on why she should be the first to open her secret santa present. your best friends voice helps you stay distracted in not looking over at vince adjacent from you - sitting silently in the recliner.

the lights from the tree twinkle is your peripheral vision, a constant in your eyes as you try and focus on the present and not dwell on the unknown with vince. as tracy moves across the tree in retrieval for her daughters gift, you're blinking back into reality once again, the light pattern changing is what brings you back. once her mom passes her the santa wrapping paper covered box, sammy is immediately tearing it apart. you smile automatically, always pleased with how excitable sammy gets when it comes to holidays and opening presents.

she pulls out the lilac fuzzy robe and matching slippers that you'd wrapped between layers of tissue paper in the box, and she's immediately gasping out. "I love it - somebody clearly knows me well."

"okay, we'll save your guess until the end." tracy reminds her daughter, but she's looking between all of you as she says it. "don't want to ruin the surprise for anybody else." tracy ends up going next after john suggested it, and she ends up opening a beautiful set of holiday mugs filled with different teas, coffees and treats - cookies, candy canes and chocolates all stuffed into the mugs. she of course loves it, and instantly tells vince that his next trip into the kitchen she wants to try one of her new teas.

you're the next one to open a present, and a rather large box is sitting on your lap. it's wrapped in reflective silver wrapping paper, and a large red bow sits on the top corner of the present. curious about the gift inside the stunning and well done wrapping, you tear it open.

"you're not doing it fast enough - rip the damn paper cindy lou." sammy grunts beside you, obviously impatient. you giggle just as you finally unwrap the box. saving sammy and yourself from the curiosity of the contents of inside, you lift the lid off the box. at the sight of the gift, your face falters slightly. under a layer of red tissue paper, starring back at you in the christmas blanket from the boutique downtown.

the soft christmas blanket decorated with vintage homes and snowflakes that you had fallen in love with only two days ago. you know there's only one person who could've known about the blanket and that's the only person in this living room who was in that store. your eyes flicker towards vince. he's still not smiling - he's not even looking at you.

tracy gasps, "oh wow that's beautiful!" you feel your face heat up with a mixture of disappointment, disbelief and sadness. you feel overwhelmed and confused by the contradictory messages of vince's actions, and you feel like the room is shrinking as you continue to look between vince and the blanket in your lap. without wanting to make too much of a scene, you put the gift on the coffee table. "sorry, I just need to step away for a moment."

"oh, okay - are you alright?" tracy questions gently, her warm eyes following you as you walk through the family room and towards the stairs.

"yeah, of course. please continue, i'll be back soon." you quickly make your way back up the carpeted steps, trying your best to hold in all your confused thoughts and emotions until you're in a private space - to top everything off, your feel ridiculous and the guilt is starting to sink in that you’ve ruined christmas.

you step into sammy's open bedroom and place a hand to your burning forehead - an attempt at doing something to calm down. you let your eyes flutter to a close, and take a few deep breaths. you feel so uncertain and overwhelmed with this weird unknown tension lingering between you and vince, and you're scared having sex with him last night did the complete opposite of what you hoped for. you're scared that vince doesn't view you as anything more than just a stranger - a body he's been moving around for years and disregarding because he's got no real connection or feelings for.

with the sex last night, you had the impression that it would act as that changing factor you've been searching for for years. this christmas seemed to be the very top of the tall mountain you and vince have been chasing each other up for years, pushing at one another to see who would be the first to break that climb - but now you think you may have fallen backwards instead of coming down the other side with vince beside you.

"are you okay?" vince steps into the room, the floorboard that sits directly under the doorframe creaks from his weight. when you were younger you hated that floorboard, it made for sammy and you to sneak out very hard, and most of the time it was the reason you'd just stay home instead of going out and partying with the senior boys team back in high school.

"no, i'm not okay - what are we doing?" your hands fall, and the pure exhaustion of dealing with your own scrambled thoughts is seemingly catching up to you. you feel like complete jello, even more so than after last night - your nerves about this whole ordeal at an all time high. "why do you hate me, vince? what did I do to make you hate me?"

vince is confused, naturally. he walks further into sammy's bedroom, closer to you. "you think I actually hate you?"

a mixture between a disbelieving laugh and a scoff forms in the back of your throat. "you're not giving me many reasons which tell me that you like me, are you? and no, fucking me against the bathroom counter really doesn't count as a good reason, at all." maybe your latter comment was uncalled for, sure, but your head is still reeling with a jumbled collection of thoughts and insecurities, that you really don't care.

vince runs a hand through his hair, his fingers almost frantic like he's not sure what to do with them. he licks his bottom lip gently, and he slowly looks around your face. you feel yourself wanting to blush - needing to blush - under his intense gaze, but you don't allow yourself to get flustered. vince sighs gently, and his brows dip in disappointment. "I don't hate you, y/n - I could never hate you." vince is disappointed in himself for treating you so poorly to the extent of which you thought he hated you - that was never his intention.

"then why did you act like you did?" your bottom lip trembles with emotion, and you hate that feeling. you don't want to seem weak or affected by his behaviour, even if it has made you upset - especially if he's about to tell you that you mean nothing to him...again.

vince sighs gently, his large eyes swimming with a hundred different emotions of his own. "because i'm a dick...and I was confused and maybe even a little scared." he pauses, swallowing his nerves as they begin to creep up his throat. you still look unsure, so vince continues. "I would act a certain way around you because I didn't know how else to act - or what to do. anytime I was mean or rude or acted this nasty way towards you it wasn't because I didn't like you, it was because I liked you too much. every petty comment, look or action was a bad attempt at me stopping myself from kissing you."

you inhale sharply, "what?"

"back in high school I was confused by my feelings for you. god, y/n I was constantly thinking about you and everything you did- it was consuming me. I thought nothing could happen because you were my younger sister's best friend...so when I kissed you at that party and I felt my feelings intensify, I pushed you away because I was scared." he takes a step closer, now in arms reach from you. you watch him curiously, intently listening to vince's words.

“so I would be mean and act like that kiss meant nothing - that you meant nothing because I let my pride get in the way. I thought I couldn't get hurt if I was the one who was hurting you - that turned out to be bullshit. I hate what i've done to you and how I've acted towards you. this christmas was the first time I let myself love you the way I always have and - can you please say something here because i'm totally freaking out.”

you blink once....and then twice. you're sure your mouth is opening and closing like a fishes would, but you're not even focused on that right now. the shock confession from vince is the only thing you hear - the only thing you've ever wanted to hear from him and he just said it. you blink a third time, "why did it take so long for you to say that?"

"you had a boyfriend - you were dating my old friend and you seemed happy. I didn’t want to jeopardize your relationship by being selfish and telling you how I feel...even if seeing you with evan killed me."

you nod in understanding - it makes sense, it's starting to all makes sense. although, you still can't be too sure. if vince is telling the truth, which you're pretty positive he is just based on how distraught and flustered he looks standing here now and telling you this - but there is one lingering comment that hasn't left your mind since the christmas tree farm, one that you need clarification on. "what did you mean by the real me?"

vince sighs - not an irritated or angry sigh, but rather like he knew the question was coming. "the real you means before you needed to put your guard up around me - before I turned into a complete idiot and you turned into a stranger. I meant it in the most sincere and positive way, and the comment stemmed from my own guilt and actions...i'm so sorry, y/n. for everything."

"evan was right," you start quietly, your voice still timid. "all that hating each other stuff wasn't believable. vince i've loved you since you moved here and i've never stopped."

he exhales in visible relief at your confession and for the first time this christmas morning, vince touches you, gently taking ahold of your warm cheeks between his palms as he cradles you in his hands. his thumbs stroke your cheeks soothingly, a much needed comfort you've been needing from him. "seriously?"

you nod against him. "seriously...and i'm sorry too."

"you don't need to apologize to me." vince is interrupts you softly, the beginning stages of his usual smirk tugging at his lips. "you've never done anything wrong or unwarranted that makes me deserve your apology, okay?"

"okay." you sigh.

vince smiles and slowly, his thumb moves down your face until he's gliding over your bottom lip. it's swollen from you constantly biting it, as well it's bruised from the pressure of his kiss last night. he gently pulls your bottom lip down with the pad of his thumb and the he leans down towards you open mouth and kisses you.

your lips pops back into place as his thumb releases it, and it immediately morphs around vince's mouth to complete the perfect kiss. this kiss is different from the one last night - even from the one many years ago during 7 minutes in heaven. there's no rushing or uncertainty, and the way your lips mold together and pass over one another is nothing but magic.

you sigh pleasantly against his mouth, pulling him impossibly closer by his hoodie. you can feel vince smile against your lips, the feeling of you so desperate and pleased as you slip your hands under the bulk of his sweatshirt and run along his bare skin, is the best feeling vince has ever felt - you are the best thing vince has ever known.

"are you guys coming downstairs or what?" johns voice is teasing as he calls up the stairs, and you can practically hear the knowing smirk just through his tone.

"yeah, stop making out and lets open these damn gifts." sammy sounds farther away than her dad, like she's still sitting on the couch as she calls for you and her brother.

you and vince pull away from one another, slightly breathless but grinning. "she's your sister." you brush past him, gently poking him in the side as you pass by.

immediately, vince grabs a bowl of your wrist and pulls you back towards him. it has you squealing slightly, letting yourself be pulled back into his embrace effortlessly. "she's your best friend" vince brushes the tip of his nose along yours, giving you a soft eskimo kiss.

your face scrunches at the tickly sensation. "yeah well, your sister and my best friend is going to kill both of us if we don't go back downstairs."

vince groans and reluctantly releases you from his tight grip. after all, if sammy is irritated with you both for holding up the present opening, could you imagine how mad she'd be if vince fucked you on her bed. you giggle slightly at the thought, walking out of sammy's bedroom and back down the hallway.

just before you can make the descend back downstairs, vince pushes up behind you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he whispers in your ear. "I love you." to further his point, he kisses your cheek, sending butterflies loose through your entire body.

you will always love vince dunn.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

[haveyouseenmyhat]

Hot take but… Lance Stroll is one of my top 3 favorite drivers.

Lance Stroll is such a strong example of the human character, lance stoll is me if I was on a F1 grid and not a fanfic writer.

A lot of people have complaints about Lance being a nepo baby but this is ridiculous because almost every single one of the F1 drivers bought a place on the grid including Max Verstappen the current world champion. And if not most are now wealthy from their time in F1 and not doing anything significant with that money.

Notable exceptions to Lewis Hamilton and Sebastion Vettle, but really that's so 2012.

No, the reason most ‘F1 bros’ out there don't like Lance Stroll is because he was given the thing every F1 fan ever wanted, a place on the grid, and is doing nothing with that despite having talent and yet continues to race despite looking bored out of his mind. These ‘F1 bros’ are envious, plain and simple.

Which is incredibly hypocritical because Lance Stroll cannot control the circumstances of his birth any more than you can. And to critique someone for not taking advantage of every single opportunity provided to them requires a person to exist on a plane of existence where they also took advantage of every single opportunity ever presented before them. Have you? Based on the demographic of English speaking social media users, even you must have been given a start in life that someone else would kill for.

A person reading this might say the opportunity to use social media, go to school, to read, and write is normal, whereas the wealth to buy your way on a F1 team is not. However, literacy is only normal for people in wealthy countries and is determined by your social peers. The same way Lance Stroll might view the wealth of billionaires normal and insignificant, as those are the peers he grew up with.

So if we remove the fame and wealth superiority complex that some people give celebrities for merely existing, what is left behind with Stroll is something I deeply relate to: gifted kid syndrome and parental pressures. Stroll only races because it was his father’s dream to be in F1. As Stroll's father became more and more involved in Stroll's career his driving suffered. Every race is a constant evaluation of Stroll's own performance by his dad who is also his boss. Imagine the pressure you would feel if every aspect of your job was scrutinized by your parents? And if those same parents expect you to be the best in the world at that job? I would struggle too.

Furthermore, after Stroll's dad bought a F1 team, something unseen by the other F1 nepo babies until now, social media freaked out. Now instead of backroom deals hinting at wealth, Lance's dad is the owner front and center. Leading to a large online hate group for the driver.

Imagine showing up to your incredibly public job every day knowing everyone watching hopes you will fail. I think this might be my worst nightmare.

People talk about how Lance Stroll is rude to his Team and other F1 drivers. These people clearly know nothing about PR. In competitive sports it is difficult to be humble, when you are not one of the better players. This is because the world's best football player can be humble and everyone will still understand their value, but the worlds worst football player being humble makes them look unconfident and unworthy of playing. Although, I personally would argue to always be humble, F1 is primarily a male dominated sport, with male dominated press and employees, and men are not known for their emotional maturity. More important I am not naive to believe everyone puts others before themselves like I do. In which case humbleness would severely limit an individual's opportunities.

Furthermore, not a single person on the grid who tries to be nice to Lance Stroll. And yes that is Stroll's fault, but at this point in time I can no longer blame Stroll, because the other drivers are so childish to continue to act this way. However, I will concede that most of the grid fails to have any sort of emotional intelligence, case and point Lewis Hamilton isolating himself from making friends with the younger drivers. (you know why).

The internet talks about how cowardly Lance is to be unable to stand up to his dad and the public and quit F1. All I can see is how fearful Lance must be. People have a hard time quitting normal jobs and announcing normal things to their parents. You want Lance Stroll to quit his highly competitive, highly lucrative job, run by this own father and fail to see how hard it is to logically call that a good decision? People across the world struggle to realize their dreams and fight against societal expectations. I don't see Stroll continuing his F1 career as cowardice, I see it as human.

So many celebrities nowadays are expected to present a caricature of themselves to social media, because they expect them to act a certain way. So maybe I like when one of the few celebrities I know brutally shows all of the down sides to fame. Despite the constant criticisms, Lance never hides his apathy for F1 or his moody childishness. Which as a moody childish person I can significantly relate to. I like Lance Stoll simply because he is an interesting complex human celebrity, something that is often washed out and fake in the modern world.

Finally, one more food for thought. People act definitely in different settings. I for one act more childish around my parents because that is the society role I play. Lance stroll is constantly around his dad in the workplace, as well as, has been around the same workplace for 9 years so maybe give him some slack for acting like the 18 year old he was when he joined F1. And to date Lance is only 26 years old, an age that I would consider 1 year into being an adult.

Lance was quite easily too young to have any solid opinion on what he wanted to do with his life when he joined the sport.

Lance is one of the most interesting drivers on the grid, but don't mistake me, I would still give up his seat for Daniel Ricciardo any day.

[triptychgrip]

New fic: Yuuri vs. Yuri on Hot Ones Versus 🔥🔥🔥

Yura loudly exhaled then sat up straight. 

“Ok, so back in February 2017, there was a local hockey team that began renting the ice for the slot right after this geezer would “coach” his then-fiance,” he began, jerking his head in Viktor’s direction and making a big show of his air quotes. “Notice I used air quotes because 90 percent of the time he was flirting and hanging all over him and it was the most loose definition of coaching possible.”

Kenjirou gave a hysterical sort of giggle and then immediately clapped a hand over his mouth. Feeling slightly defensive of his husband, Yuuri didn’t even have to think much about the words that left his lips.

“Vitya’s unorthodox methods worked, though, didn’t they?” he chimed in, not bothering to tone down his smugness. “Remind me, Yura: who was the gold medalist at the 2017 World Figure Skating Championships, again?”

Viktor and Aasha barked delighted-sounding laughs and out of the corner of his eye, Yuuri saw Mila whip her phone out. Presumably, to capture the flush that had begun to stain his opponent’s cheeks.

“Yeah, well…anyway,” Yura resumed in a grumble, doing a pretty poor job of masking his flusteredness. “Most of the players– ”

“It was Yuuri-senpai! Yuuri-senpai was the 2017 World’s title holder!” Kenjirou interrupted in a shout, very unnecessarily. 

Yuuri bit his lip to suppress the mirth bubbling up within him and made a concerted effort not to look over at Viktor.

“As I was saying!” the Ice Tiger huffed, shooting him a nasty look, as if he could read his mind. “Most of the players kept to themselves, and other than some very questionable tastes in cologne that we were subjected to in the break room and locker room, they were fine to be around. But then there was the team captain, Sergei…who just straight up sucked.”

Yuuri decided to adopt a neutral expression.

While he hadn’t been the biggest fan of Sergei, he’d also never known what to make of his love’s opinion that the man had had a crush on him. It was true that Sergei had sought him out for conversation more than a lot of Yubileyny’s other skaters, but he’d chalked this up to the fact that at that point, he had still been extremely new to Russia in general, and had probably seemed starved for friendly faces. 

And, if Madame Baranovskaya had shot laser beams out of her eyes whenever she was in Sergei’s general vicinity, Yuuri had suspected this was due to her distaste for hockey, and not anything to do with a sense of protectiveness over him.

“There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to explain all the assorted means of suckage, but it was sometime in May that I snapped,” Yura continued on, looking impressively impassive. “Sergei had the most douchey hairstyle by the way…this platinum blonde, dyed sort of swoopy-thing that was his entire personality, to the point he never stopped talking about it.”

---

The above excerpt is from my newly uploaded fic (which I teased in this post), detailing Yuuri and Yurio facing off against one another on Hot Ones Versus. Taking place during the 2021 off-season, the two of them are currently the top two seeded skaters in the world, and their rivalry is heightened by the fact that they are both Viktor's students.

Just like my Vanity Fair Lie Detector fic, I had such a blast writing this, and am really excited to work on the final chapter, which will be from Yurio and Viktor's points of view. (Mila and Kenjirou also have large roles in this story, as they have tagged along for the episode filming for moral support, LOL).

If you read this WIP and enjoy it, PLEASE tell me what you think; I love receiving comments!

🔥 You can read Chapter 1, here 🔥

Oh, and as I mention in the pre-notes, this story marks my 20th Yuri!!! on Ice fic. Maybe it's about time I made a pinned post, lol...

[ranchstoryblog]

Nendoroid Dreams

With the recent release of the Claire Nendoroid, the natural question I've seen asked on social media and in our own Discord is what could we get next? Granted, usually only really big series get multiple Nendoroids, but it's nice to dream... So, let's get dreamin'!

The Bare Minimum: Pete

Honestly, if any other Story of Seasons figures are going to happen, it'd feel wild to me if Goodsmile didn't make Pete. Claire going first makes sense, the most popular figures tend to be the girls, but, well, I'll let Pete himself say it:

So, while trying to imagine what he'd come with, we'll use Claire as a basis: Two animals, a crop, and a tool. Since Claire came with the watering can, I feel like the obvious choice for Pete is the hoe. They're the two most essential tools for a farmer, since you can't till soil without one, and you can't water crops without the other. The most iconic animals Claire didn't bring are also easily the dog and horse, which most players are likely to get even if they never set foot in their barn. All that's left after that is the crop. My first idea was probably the carrot, since it'd fit well with the horse and could easily have the same gimmick as Claire's turnip by letting you plant it in the ground, but the power berry is a tempting option too.

My Ideal: Pete + Candidate Pair

The most important aspect of the series outside the farm is the townsfolk, and the most important townsfolk are the marriage candidates, so it'd be nice to get at least one pair of them. Getting four Story of Seasons Nendoroids sounds impossible, but, let's have fun trying to imagine how they'd do it anyway.

It feels like the "safest" way to look at it is from a marketing perspective: Who, in such a large series, would most easily get fans to open their wallets? The cast of FoMT/64 are still easily the most iconic, and we already have Claire, but are the FoMT designs iconic? That seems like probably the most important question. Largely because, at least in my observations, Gray is far and away the favorite among the male candidates in Europe, US, Japan, China, and Indonesia, with Cliff trailing somewhere behind him. The girls are a much closer race, but if the pairing is with Gray, we basically only have two options here:

With Gray as the constant, the remaining question to answer ends up being between Popuri or Marie depending entirely on Gray's design. Personally, I find it a really hard choice to make. The 64 designs are more iconic, but Claire already being sold as a Friends of Mineral Town character kind of sets a precedent if they're aiming to make a set. There's always the possibility of 64 getting a remake, or perhaps celebrating its 25th anniversary though...

There's also accessories to consider, with both possible sets feeling pretty different. 64's version of Gray is a rancher, so he could do with more animal stuff while FoMT's could deal with more mine related items, and both 64 Popuri and FoMT Marie have a lot of association with plants, so maybe they could have non-crop plants like herbs and flowers. Items from their heart events would be a good idea, too... Regardless, someone needs to have the Blue Feather. If I had to rank the most iconic items in the series, it'd easily be at the very top, so it's wild to me that Claire didn't come with it in the first place.

Endless Possibilities

I kind of intentionally narrowed the scope for the sake of making the article not go on forever, but there's honestly a ton of routes they could go if we do actually get more figures though. I know tons of folks would go crazy for A Wonderful Life characters, and even just sticking with protagonists from past and future games could reasonably cover all the possibilities for animals, tools, and lots of crops.

Currently it looks like the Claire figure sold out on Goodsmile US's store, so hopefully that's a good sign that she was decently popular. Goodsmile Japan lists her as "few left in stock," so she seemed to sell decently well over there too. If you want more Story of Seasons figures enough to read this whole dang thing, be sure to let them know by using the request form too! We made a guide on it a while ago:

[treason-and-plot]

Get to Know Me- Sims Style

Thank you for tagging me @bool-prop and @autonomousllama!

What’s your favorite Sims death?

It would have to be the Guinea Pig virus from Sims 1. That was amazing, and the way Will Wright snuck it into the game was pure genius (or evil, depending on your perspective!)

Alpha CC or MaxisMatch?

Mostly Alpha.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

As someone who uses the Sims primarily as a storytelling medium, I have to say yes. Some most of my dinner scenes require a lot of takes to get exactly right, and my Sims have no choice but to stuff themselves for hours at a time and often bulk up as a result. The least I can do for them afterwards is to slim them back down again.

Do you move objects?

I think it's mandatory for storytellers?

Favourite Mod?

The Sims 3 would be unplayable for me without a whole slew of mods, but top of the list would be Master Controller.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

The Sims: Livin' Large

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing

It's the same pronunciation as aLIVE, and I will unALIVE myself on that hill.

Who’s your favourite sim that you’ve made?

I have not technically made many Sims, the vast majority are downloaded from other Simmers a lot more talented than me, or have been born/ created in game. And the few I have made are all pretty meh.

Have you made a simself?

Yes! She is currently hanging out in @gaiahypothesims' game and just like me she is the epitome of style and sophistication, as you can see from the pic that Gaia sent me below.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

Probably the strawberry blonde.

Favorite EA hair?

This one:

Favorite life stage?

Young Adult

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

Gameplay/ storytelling.

Are you a CC creator?

No.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

I have a couple of Simblr friends that I message regularly and who have even entrusted me with their phone numbers, so I feel very blessed.

Do you have any sims merch?

No.

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Next.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I can't really answer this because as stated earlier I very rarely create Sims.

What’s your origin id?

I don't have Origin. The best thing I ever did back in the day was to heed the advice of the doom merchants and not upgrade my TS3 game to patch 1.69. Patch 1.69 forced players to use Origin to launch their games. I always used the TS3W shortcut to open my game and I continue to do so to this day. I'm so, so thankful when I hear about all the issues other Simmers are experiencing with Origin and the EA app.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

I hate to play favourites but I'm going to use this opportunity to give shout-outs to Sandy from @aroundthesims and @spladoum because they have both gone out of their way to create beautiful things for me- check out Sandy's beautiful objects here and Splad's gorgeous poses here!

How long have you had simblr?

Since November 2010.

How do you edit your pictures?

I use Picasa, and Pixlr if I'm feeling particularly creative.

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite?

Nothing has ever compared to the unadulterated joy I experienced playing Open For Business for Sims 2. Nearly every single one of my households either owned a home business or a retail outlet and the gameplay, challenges and fun were just phenomenal.

I would like to tag @gaiahypothesims @wannabecatwriter @petrolstationflowers @oasislandingresident @imaginary-sims @hurricanesims @hancyan @brannewjoint and @windermeresimblr!

[anim-ttrpgs]

Vote on How You Want the First Chapter of the Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy Rulebook to be Structured.

We have recently finally finished fully copy-editing the first chapter of the Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy rulebook, and have also redone its structure. We will be redoing the structure of each chater as we finish fully copy-editing them. (Also we moved the Skills section down to the Character Creation chapter.)

This chapter contains all of the core game rules except for combat, as well as the “gameplay philosophy” of Eureka, and is about 115 pages before formatting. (Every chapter is going to be way fewer pages when we actually format it to look like a TTRPG rulebook and not a big text document.)

The core rules are, obviously, core rules. They tell you what dice to roll, what the numbers mean, what succeeds and what fails, etc.

The “gameplay philosophy” sections tell you what kind of “philosophy” the actual rules and mechanics for Eureka were written based on, and therefore how to approach it for the best possible experience. This section tells you what we had in mind when we wrote the rules, gives guidelines on how a GM should run Eureka, what kind of PCs players should make, how both players and GMs should approach the game, what kind of situations should call for dice rolls and why or why not, how to handle PC mortality, etc.

It is my opinion that the “gameplay philosophy” sections should come first in this chapter, and then the core rules come second, and my reasoning is that the way Eureka wants to be approached is actually quite different from a lot of the current dominant TTRPG zeitgeist, and I think that reading and understanding how Eureka’s “philosophy” differs from most more popular “philosophies” on TTRPGs will be helpful in internalizing why some rules are written the way they are and how this is supposed to work in practice when you then read the core rules. I also feel that reading the core rules before you read the “gameplay philosophy” sections will have them memorizing internalizing Eureka’s rules through the lens of Current Most Popular TTRPG, which may cause some core rules to come off as off-putting, bizarre, or stupid—or even just not work in practice because their intent runs counter to the intent of superficially-similar rules in Current Most Popular TTRPG.

However, many people express that they hate it when a TTRPG rulebook buries the introduction of the core rules like 30-60+ pages into the rulebook, and some have said that putting these “gameplay philosophy” sections up front may turn off would-be fans.

So, I’m asking the fans to vote. You’ve heard my arguments for why I want to put the “gameplay philosophy” parts first, so what do you think? Vote in this poll.

Here is how the first chapter is currently structured, with the "gameplay philosophy" parts coming first:

(Do also keep in mind that the Eureka rulebook includes a “What You Need To Read” section that tells you the bare minimum sections to read in order of importance in case you just want to jump straight into playing without reading the entire 300+ page book cover-to-cover first. It also includes the "Quick Terms" section at the top that gives one-paragraph explanations of almost all of the core concepts, including how to roll what dice and how to define success and failure before you read anything else.)

Because I feel quite strongly about this, and it’s my rulebook, I may still put the “gameplay philosophy” sections first even if putting the core rules first wins by a small majority. If it wins by a very large majority, then I’ll listen to overwhelming fan preference and put the core rules first, but I might not be happy about it.

Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is going to launch on Kickstarter on April 10th and we need all the help we can get. Set a reminder from the Kickstarter page through this link.

If you’re interested in a more updated and improved version of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy than the free demo you got from our website, there’s plenty of ways to get one!

Subscribe to our Patreon where we frequently roll our new updates for the prerelease version!

Donate to our ko-fi and send us an email with proof that you did, and we’ll email you back with the full Eureka prerelease package with the most updated version at the time of responding! (The email address can be found if you scroll down to the bottom of our website.)

Or, if you can’t afford any of that, join our TTRPG Book Club and then just ask. At the time of writng this, Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is the current game being played in the book club, and anyone who wants to participate in discussion, but can’t afford to make a contribution, will be given the most updated prerelease version for free! Plus it’s just a great place to discuss and play new TTRPGs you might not be able to otherwise!

[what-the-fluxxation]

So I had a boss OC idea thing..

This is ALL words currently. I plan to sketch this out, as I’m very very fixated on this idea. This is a long read, feels very bare-bones, and is kinda boring, you have been warned.

COPIED FROM A DISCORD SERVER, FORMATTING IS WACK.

Name and explanation: Aberrant Enforcer: Xuanfeng.

It seems most of the names in Nine Sols have roots in Chinese, specifically in mythology. I wanted to both mirror the naming schemes of other minibosses in terms of sound (Baichang, Jiaoduan) along with having an actual meaning behind the name that correlates to the nature of this boss. I chose Xuanfeng because, as far as I've seen, it translates to "Whirlwind", which is fitting in accordance with the mobile and fluid nature of this boss' moveset. The Aberrant Enforcer part has to do with its projected lore background. Aberrant means a deviation from what is standard or normal, and enforcer is self explanatory.

Lore background

I have specifically latched onto the transmutated soldiers, Battlelord Project, and Sky Rending Claw in this game due to their status as organic/mechanical weapons created with little morality in mind. As a robot fan, Nine Sols has very much enamored me with it's design and worldbuilding, and how ethically bankrupt a lot of its conflict seemed to be. I think it would be reasonable to assume, in the early days of experimenting with transmutation, other horrific inventions and tools of war aside from the Battlelord Project would be created. I'm a bit rusty with the lore specific Era titles, so the projected origins of Xuanfeng would be around the start of Jiequan's mass production of the Tiger Legion soldiers for the Jie Clan. Xuanfeng is a mixture of old-world combat technologies powered by rhizomic energy, like the Sky Rending Claw, and the transmutated soldiers we see present in the game, specifically in resemblance to the Turtle Legion machines, like Great Miner Tianshou, where large masses of transmutated flesh appear woven throughout machine frames.

In-game location, questline, etc

Xuanfeng would reside within the locked vault section of the Boundless Repository, in the very back of the room behind all of the chests. Upon opening the vault door and approaching the back, a massive container, similar in design to the Battlelord cradles, but rectangular, and much, much larger would sit dimly lit in the back of the vault, a lore entry collectible on a small terminal in-front of it. This would provide insight to the origins of the machine inside. Upon talking to Ruyi, he would offer more vague instructions about the Aberrant Enforcer project. From this point on, the questline is stalled until the defeat of Yanlao and the Sky Faring Claw. Upon entering Yanlao's vital sanctum, a key-like card can be swiped from one of the piles of various machinery. It's description mentions usage, once again, for the Aberrant Enforcer Project. If the player is somehow Not Smart enough to immediately return to the vault and attempt to use it on the giant box, Ruyi will discuss it's probable usage in opening the container. Upon using the key on the container, it will activate, lights flickering on as whatever is inside the container rumbles around a bit, radiant lenses visible through the small glass segment near it's top. This serves as teaser of sorts for the container. The container remains this way for now. The questline is then paused until defeating Jiequan, a second key lying within his Vital Sanctum. Once again, if the player is stupid enough to not immediately rush to use the key, Ruyi will prompt them to go and do so, but will offer a warning as well. Upon using the second key, the container will open, alarms blaring throughout the vault as it locks with Yi inside to contain Xuanfeng. More lights will flash on across the vault, likely red as a result of being warning lights or something, and the fight will begin.

Fight, attacks

Xuanfeng will exit the container with a low, droning roar, slowly locking its gaze on Yi as it brandishes its Shaung Gou, traditional Chinese hooked swords. Generally, the first phase alternates between frantic, frenzied swings, and slow, odd-tempo'd combos, somewhat mirroring the feel of Xingtian.

Overhead slash: Xuanfeng raises its left Gou, arm shuddering for a moment before lunging forwards and swinging down, a slight delay following the attack.

Double slash: This starts like the overhead slash, the delay absent with Xuanfeng instead slashing upwards with its right Gou.

Frenzied leap: Xuanfeng raises both of its arms, shuddering a few times before leaping forwards in an overhead slam with both Gou(s??), this attack is slow and predictable, good practice for the newly acquired Unbound Parry. If the parry is missed, the ground surrounding Xuanfeng will be ignited with Crimson Flames, Xuanfeng rapidly raising both Gou and slamming them towards Yi in a secondary attack.

Blazing gaze: Xuanfeng will stumble around, falling to one knee as it projects a barrier, similar to that of Jiequan, around itself, looking towards Yi as its middle, larger lens glows with crimson light, firing 3 pulses of Crimson energy towards Yi. These can be Tai-chi kicked/unbound parried to break the barrier if any of them hit. Crimson flames engulf the ground near Xuanfeng. making approaching it during this attack a foolish choice. Even once the barrier is broken, the machine will not be staggered from any attacks, meaning that deflecting all 3 crimson energy pulses will net good damage. The barrier (if still unbroken) and flames will vanish as the machine gets back to its feet, allotting some time for it be hit.

Phase 2

Upon its healthbar reaching zero, Xuanfeng will have a series of crimson explosions ripple from its side, blowing one of its arms clean off, spliting its torso open, and removing a lot of the armor from its head, smoke wafting from its form as it falls to its knees, destroyed arm clattering to the side. It remains still for a few moments, healthbar sitting ominously on the screen at zero. After a few seconds of this, it shudders back to life, lenses reigniting, with its central lens cracking, and upper lense remaining off. It then reaches down, bringing the ends of both of its Gou together, where they click. It raises the combined weapon as it stands up, flicking it back as it enters a more agile fighting stance, Gou now extended into a dual-ended naginata of sorts. The healthbar refills and the fight continues.

Overhead slash + thrust: Now with much more fluid movements, Xuanfeng does an overhead slash with its new weapon, a brief pause coming before it thrusts the weapon in a stab downwards towards Yi, able to be dodged by simply being in the air, making for an easy Tai-chi kick parry.

Triple slash: Xuanfeng steps forwards in a twirling three-hit combo using its weapon, at the same tempo as its previous double slash, but with a third hit after a minor delay.

Enraged leap: Xuanfeng bends its legs before vaulting into the air, slamming its weapon down. This can still be unbound parried, but failure now results in a large crimson explosion on contact, with Xuanfeng raising its weapon upon landing, slamming it down in a second, just as parryable crimson attack, this one without an explosion, still spreading flames if it lands.

Radiant gaze: Xuanfeng staggers and falls forwards, shuddering violently as its remaining lenses grow bright, firing two sweeping crimson beams, which move from the floor and ceiling towards each other, then shutting off as they swap positions, effectively making an X shape. The floor is now longer ablaze below Xuanfeng, although the barrier still exists. The best way to evade this attack is hugging the machine, breaking the barrier with a charged attack/cloud piercer shot, and then whaling on it for free damage, as an unbound parry is nigh impossible against the slow beams and results in being hit anyways due to their constant and slow movement.

Upon depletion of its equally large phase 2 heathbar, Xuanfeng staggers and falls to the ground, landing on its front as it goes still, lenses shattering and thick smoke wafting from its corpse. It'll drop a lot of Jin and probably a new Jade. It will most likely reuse Yingzhao's theme, Crossing Blades, if it doesn't outright have a new theme. As an optional boss, I doubt it would.

Exact health numbers are not decided currently, but itll likely be designed around being a similar length to the Yingzhao fight, best done as soon as it is unlocked in terms of difficulty, about on par with Yingzhao in terms of difficulty for it's place in the game, a midpoint between simpler minibosses and the Sols. It counts as a boss in technicality, but doesn't feel on par with the learning curve involved in the fights with Sols. The attacks are moderately erratic, likely reminding players of Xingtian, drawing on previously acquired knowledge to make the fight slightly familiar. After its defeat, Ruyi will offer some sort of conclusion, outlining the horrific nature of organic weapons and the horrible misuse that the Aberrant Enforcer was likely subject to after its creation before being sealed away. The entire questline is meant to be short, draw attention to the database capabilities of Ruyi, and the true power of the transmutated weapons of old.

Why did you read all of that? DID you read all of that?

Anyways, drawings of phase 1+2, container, arena alterations (to allow for leaping attacks), etc coming whenever I actually have time to do said drawings/sketches. I legitimately had to type this all out or I was going to explode.

Okay bye.

[muppet-chaos]

⭐ also for a fic of your choice!

Okay we're getting a little bit silly with it, I'm gonna try and do a full directors commentary for You Were My Fool. This one is very long so, under the break!

This was the first fic I ever started writing for Woe.begone, I believe. (Not the first I ever finished and published but whatever). I was (and am) not normal enough about Ryanball to finally make an AO3 account and write and publish fic for the first time in actual years. It's also the first smut I ever wrote. I'm interested to see how that holds up now that I'm much more comfortable with it.

I ended up going with the 5+1 style of story structure because that's a fanfic thing that I really enjoy and I thought it would be interesting to apply it to something uh... unconventional. Anyways, let's dive right in.

"Toph… have I ever told you that you have a very wringable neck? I think it's probably the way players have killed you most often. People just really like to wrap their hands all the way around you, I guess." Ryan smiled at Toph, looking up from his computer, like what he'd said was the most normal thing in the world, which, by Ryan's standards, maybe it was. He did spend a lot of his time making people cut off limbs. What was a few strangling deaths?

Oh boy, off to... a start. I think it's kind of funny that I just went write in with the strangling because that's usually not my thing but the fact that Ryan literally says in the show that Topher has a very snappable neck was too good to pass up.

I don't know what the fuck "people just really like to wrap their hands all the way around you" is supposed to mean. That sure sounds kind of horny but in a way that actually makes literally no sense. That's fine. It works.

Topher was pretty sure that Ryan had never killed him, himself. Pretty sure. He wasn't sure that Ryan didn't want to, but if he knew him at all he knew that he usually preferred his victims to remember the horrible things he put them through, and Topher certainly didn't remember Ryan ever personally wringing his neck.

I feel like this is a pretty important detail for how I characterize Ryan, and also their relationship in this fic. Despite everything there's at least some trust between these two.

He felt himself subconsciously lifting his shoulders up, bringing his neck and chin closer into himself. Ryan reached over and patted him on the back. "Aww loosen up Toph. No time for that. We've got work to do."

Toph's body language is definitely an important theme throughout.

“Hey Toph, does this message for the player match up with the current Aliza Shultz blog?” Ryan plopped the laptop screen down in front of him leaning over Topher’s shoulder to watch the screen while he read it. His chest was pressed up against Topher’s back and his chin could practically have been resting on the top of his head if he chose to lean over. Topher tried to tune it out and focus on actually checking the player message for continuity errors.

I never have any idea how to actually describe what Topher's work on Woe.begone is. I mean, he's definitely doing something. Is this it??? Also first example in this fic of Ryan having absolutely no sense of personal space which is my most dearly held headcanon about him for sure.

“You ever thought about trying it out yourself?” Ryan’s arm snaked around his back, tapping out an idle pattern on Topher's opposite shoulder and his attention was wrenched from reading the message script and back into his body.

Every once and a while whether or not Topher actually ever played Woe.begone comes up and I'm largely of the opinion that everything he told Mikey in season one about playing was in fact a lie. I don't think Ryan made him play to get the gig.

“The second challenge.” He wasn’t looking at Ryan’s face but he could hear the smirk in his voice. He could picture the exact expression. It was searing itself in his mind's eye even as he stared dead ahead at the computer screen. He opened his mouth to ask why he would ever do that but Ryan gave his bicep a squeeze and he shut it again. “Lot to get through here, think you could do it?”

"Built like a brick shithouse". Enough said.

“You’d bring me back, right?” Why was he even asking this? He was not going to cut off his arm. Not for Ryan. Not even for an actual prize.

Oh Toph you are down so bad buddy.

It had to be a stakeout. Why couldn't they just use the tech for this stuff? Ryan had assured him that it was necessary to do this in person, even pulling out the technobabble explanation for it, not that Topher could understand any of it. And anyways, Ryan was here too. He doubted he would have found himself standing next to Topher in the dark cold alleyway waiting for one Ty Betteridge to pass by if it really was just an excuse to fuck with him.

I'm sure I had some idea what they were doing to Ty here and why when I wrote it but I definitely don't remember now.

Ryan chuckled, taking another step towards Topher. Unless he wanted to blow their cover and book it out into the road he was well and truly penned in now. Ryan chuckled, reaching out a hand for Topher's and sung under his breath. "Once, upon a time, your heart would skip…"

At least according to the Q+A's Topher was the one who came up with the Cut Off Your Hands challenge which I didn't know when I wrote this bit but adds a fun little layer here I think. Taste of your own medicine Toph. And also Ryan is paying attention to the things Topher likes, awww.

Ryan leaning over him with the saw… it had always been the electric type when players did it… or at least when any player who actually succeeded, but in his mind it had become a hand saw. Slow. Brutal. He could imagine the feel of the teeth cutting into his skin. The sound of metal and bone. Ryan pressing down on his chest to hold him down and cut.

...hot

“C’mere Toph.” Topher stayed where he was, swaying slightly on the side of the dumpster. Ryan frowned briefly and then sighed and repeated in a more strict tone. “Topher. Come here.”

Uh oh Ryan is getting the dom voice out.

Topher turned back around to face the road. He could feel Ryan's stare boring into the back of his head but he tried to stand still and not let him see that he was still uncomfortable. Slowly Ryan stepped around him, standing in front of him also looking out into the road… frankly, blocking Topher's view. Ryan wasn't exactly a small guy even if Topher was taller than him.

Trying to figure out the relative size of these characters is interesting. A lot of the men in Woe.begone (especially introduced in the begining of the series) are very large which fair. I can't complain. Big beefy masc guys doing horrifying violence 🥰. As previously mentioned Topher is "built like a brick shithouse" and Ryan is apparently Mike's type so likely also pretty big and pretty masc. I tend to imagine Ryan as more of the gym rat body builder type and Topher as more naturally large and, as obvious here, slightly taller than Ryan.

"There…" Ryan grumbled. "Are your hands warm yet?"

I will never get over the fact that Ryan is the one who points out Topher has bad circulation. Real no one is allowed to bully him except me energy.

“I think I’d start with breaking his fingers… that’s easy to do but it hurts a lot. That moment where it’s pulled back, just too far, right before it snaps.” Topher’s fingers twitched, he clenched his fist and tried not to squirm too visibly. Don’t draw attention to yourself Topher. Don’t draw attention. His stomach twisted. Ryan leaned back further until his head was in Topher’s lap, dragging his hand across his chest as he moved to lay it behind him on the couch. “Maybe crawl on top of him and break a few ribs. Not enough to puncture a lung. Just enough to make the pain white hot every time he breathes. Then maybe go for a few organs… none of the important ones you know but, just mess around in there for a bit.”

I don't know why I was so fixated on breaking fingers at this point but "Climbing" has that in it too (the fic I published before this one. Also more Ryan having literally no sense of personal space.

"Topher?" He couldn't place the tone in Ryan's voice. Confused but fond… Ryan sounded unsure of himself, which he never did, but also with an undercurrent of excitement, if Topher could call it that. He started to sit up, his elbow digging his weight into Topher's thigh. "Are you jealous?"

Yep.

The hand that wasn't pressing Ryan's weight into the meat of Topher's thigh came up and grabbed his face by the chin, turning Topher back towards him. There was no hiding how flustered he was, his face turning bright red, Ryan just about half sitting in his lap now. He tried to keep from making eye contact but all that got him was staring at Ryan's lips and that stupid evil hot smirk. "Topher? Do you want me to hurt you?"

I described Topher as turning bright red like three times in the last couple of paragraphs oops. On the bright side, this paragraph also has one of my favorite little things to do while writing from a specific characters point of view, subtly changing the way that they refer to a specific thing in their thoughts over the course of the story. Topher thinks about Ryan's smile a lot in this fic and this is the first time he just outright calls it hot, earlier its implied but he skirts around it.

Another example (not in this fic) is in "The Change" where over time Mikey just eventually starts referring to his nest as a nest without really acknowledging that. I wanted that to be subtle and a little disconcerting.

Topher swallowed. He wasn't actually sure he could open his mouth with Ryan holding it like that. Ryan leaned in, and for a moment Topher was wide eyed thinking that he was going to kiss him. He brushed against his cheek and then whispered in his ear. "There's a lot I could do to you, Toph. With the fail safes we have you would just come right back to me. I could cut your heart out right in front of you."

For some reason I remember really not wanting to write kissing in this fic. It was definitely one of the things about writing smut that I took a while to get comfortable with. Also, once again... hot.

Topher let out a low whine in the back of his throat. The attempt to hide this from Ryan was all but gone… the attempt to hide this feeling from himself. He could imagine the blood dripping from Ryan’s hands, his blood dripping from Ryan’s hands, and he didn’t understand, but shit he wanted it. “You’d like that would you?”

Here's another thing I struggled with when I got started writing smut. I was okay at dirty talk from the dominant partner but... not great at it from the submissive one. "Cowboy Up" definitely helped me break out of that pattern but in this fic particularly Topher just kind of, immediately gives up on talking when things get heated. I think I realized it didn't quite work and tries to pull back a bit later in the fic.

Ryan had a cute little smile where his chin rested on his hands on the table. A smirk… it was still a smirk, but it was a cute smirk. “Aww… you’re not exactly a good actor… Cannonball.” Oof. “It will work better if you’re actually in pain I think. Would a broken bone be easier? It would make it less likely that you’d bleed out before they found you. Or maybe I could cut off a couple of fingers?”

Honestly whether or not Topher is a good actor is something we have conflicting information about. In season one he seems to do a perfectly passable job playing the Cannonball role. He fools Mikey for just about as long as he's supposed to. In season four though Mikey dunks on his acting chops pretty hard. I imagine it might be a case of level of preparation.

Topher nervously stepped away from the counter and sat down. He leaned his elbow on the table, laying his hand out on the table in front of Ryan as naturally as he could manage (not that he was really managing to make it seem natural at all). It wasn’t his fault if he was bad at playing coy. At least as Cannonball he’d had the chance to practice some of his lines. Ryan chuckled and reached out for Topher’s hand pressing at the flesh of his palm where it met his fingers as if he was sizing up how he would go about taking one of them off. “Now you’re really just teasing. How’s that going to convince anyone that I was injured in a fight?”

Oh lol apparently past me was also already thinking about that contradiction.

Topher took a deep breath trying to keep himself still, he could feel the words that were about to come out of his mouth in the moment before he said them and he thought if he let himself he might turn and run before they ever got out. But he didn’t want to run. He was as sure as he’d ever been that he wanted this. “Are you just going to keep teasing me forever? Or are you actually going to hurt me, Ryan?”

HOT!

Topher had some questions about how in depth Ryan seemed to have thought all of this out. He supposed thinking of elaborate ways to hurt people was sort of what Ryan did with a lot of his time, but this wasn't Woe.begone, this was different. Was this all for him? Or was he just the first unsuspecting man to say yes to something like this? Was he even the first? He wasn't sure he wanted to hear about it if Ryan had talked some guy he met on Scruff into a similar situation but in the meantime thinking about it was a great way to keep his mind off of what was about to happen to him. It wasn't that he didn't want to think about it, but the anticipation was just about to drive him insane. And he didn't want to lose his nerve before it had even started.

I didn't actually consider the answer to this when I wrote this I don't think. I imagine Ryan was probably involved in some pretty hardcore kinky sex pre Woe.begone but probably not anything quite this extreme. The ability to use time travel tech opens up a lot of avenues of pain that would be a lot more of a hassle or just down right impossible/unsurvivable without it... which is largely the point of this fic lol. And I imagine he hasn't actually slept with any players so this planning probably really was all for Topher's benefit.

"Uh. No. Not happening." Maybe he should have talked a few more of these details over before he let himself be tied up. "What? Don't want to stick a sock in it Toph?" Ryan dangled the gag in front of his face with a laugh and Topher scowled. "Not funny." "Fine, no gag." Ryan put it back down and gently patted Topher on the cheek. "I want our neighbors to hear your screaming anyways."

I put so much thought into this bit. Topher doesn't want to be gagged here and he also doesn't end up reciprocating oral sex later in the fic this guy is not okay with things being stuck in his mouth post getting kidnapped by Mike. Interestingly, my other smut fic with Topher ("Employee Benefits") is set in the season ten timeline where Mikey never kidnapped Topher and so he doesn't have any issues with performing oral sex in that one.

Topher wasn't sure what the intended response to that was supposed to be but the idea that someone out there might hear all this sent a thrill through him. Ryan raised an eyebrow. "Oh you liked that idea, did you Toph? Maybe I should record some of this next time." Next time. Well. "I know a few circles online that would positively just eat this up. What do you think?"

One day I'll write the Ryanball snuff film fic.

Ryan licked his lips and Topher let out a whine. "Jeez, Topher. I'm not even doing anything yet. At least try to use your words." He was more amused than annoyed.

Self callout lol.

“I never took you for being so… adventurous Toph,” Ryan took a step back, pulling his shirt off and tossing it aside. “I really can’t complain though.” Surely someone with more acceptable tastes or morals would have left Ryan to his own devices long ago, powerful time travel technology or not.

Genuinely the core of their relationship.

“I hope not.” Topher grumbled. He was sitting fully naked and tied to one of their support beams. He was not in the mood to start hearing complaints about his behavior.

Support beam??? I know I wanted him to be tied to something and on the floor with his back to whatever that something was but I have no idea what I was picturing the room looking like lol. Having kinky sex in your minimalist open concept living room with wood beams I guess???

Also, gotta love sassy Topher. He's a loose cannon guys ;)

Topher didn’t get the time to finish asking himself whether or not Ryan was going to give him a warning or not because in an instant he stepped forward, his hands taking hold of either side of Topher's left forearm and then his boot came down on it hard. There was a moment of pressure where Topher wasn’t sure what was about to happen to him and then a sickeningly loud crunch and a wave of burning pain radiating up from his arm, intense enough his vision whited out for a moment and he felt more than heard himself scream. His vision cleared to Ryan leaning over him and grinning, one hand cupping Topher’s cheek, the other one still clutching the wrist of his broken arm, which settled into a dull but pervasive thud. “You still with me Toph?”

I distinctly remember googling how much pressure it takes to break a bone to figure out if this was possible or not, also how a breaking bone sounds. I don't remember if I actually looked up what breaking a bone feels like though.

Also I just realized how Topher is tied up here is not consistent at all he mentions his wrists being tied a couple paragraphs ago... oops? I will choose to assume that Ryan untied that arm while he was distracted from the pain, or something.

“Good.” Ryan said, stepping back into Topher’s space. He was holding something small in his hand but Topher couldn’t see what it was yet. And his focus was dragged away from trying to figure it out as Ryan knelt down so he was standing even with him and reached for the hand of Topher’s injured arm with his free hand, weaving their fingers together. Even the small motion sent a few more pulsing aches up past his shoulder, a strange contrast to how gentle Ryan’s touch actually was, as his thumb brushed over the soft skin of Topher’s wrist.

Genuinely kind of obsessed with this juxtaposition. Good move past Fortune.

“You do seem like you’re enjoying yourself.” Ryan licked his lips again, (Topher wasn’t even sure he was conscious of that motion), and stared down at Topher’s cock, a look not all that different from when he’d been about to hurt him. Like he was thinking of devouring him whole. Topher, admittedly, hadn’t even realized he’d gotten this hard. There were, a lot of things having an effect on him but, his attention had been elsewhere, with his body's other responses. Ryan leaned in closer, nipping at the base of his jaw and whispered, “you want some help with that big boy?”

Ryan calling Topher 'big boy' here was certainly a choice. Also I'm not sure it's obvious to anyone else from this description that I was not at all comfortable yet with trying to describe Topher getting hard but it's definitely obvious to me.

It was hard not to get lost in the sensation of Ryan going down on him. He was good at this, not that Topher had really expected anything else. Maybe he was a bit biased at the moment but it seemed like Ryan was good at everything he did. Whatever part of his mind wasn’t focused on the pleasure of Ryan’s lips, and tongue and throat, and the breathy little noise he made as Topher threaded his good hand into Ryan’s hair was otherwise still just as distracted by the pain in his broken arm.

Okay... his other arm is untied too I guess. Oops. Also once again, definitely not comfortable with describing a blow job yet when I wrote this but this way of writing around any concrete descriptions of what Ryan is doing by just describing how Topher feels about what Ryan is doing does a good job of masking that fact.

Ryan walked around him for a moment as if he was looking for the best possible plan of attack and then stopped, standing over Topher with a vicious grin. A beautiful vicious grin. He reached down and undid his pants, letting out a groan as his cock was freed. Topher watched him pour some lube into his hand and jerk himself a few times, eyes fluttering closed, bottom lip caught between his teeth. Topher wanted to hold onto this moment, this picture in his mind for a while. There were some other things, more urgently he wanted to hold onto right now though, and he whined a little intent on letting Ryan know that he was starting to feel a little ignored.

The evolution of how Topher thinks about Ryan's smile continues. Also I'm clearly finally getting comfortable talking about dicks finally at this point in the sex scene.

Ryan leaned back taking an appraising look at his handy work. "What do you think Toph?" Topher looked down at his chest, and snorted, a motion that sent pain ricocheting through him. Ryan, the bastard, had carved an R across his chest.

This was uninventive, but in my defense Topher is the artist between the two of them and Ryan definitely does have a big enough ego to do this.

Ryan slumped a bit, and with him no longer pressing down, Topher was able to shift until he willingly slipped off of his chest, moving to kneel beside him. Topher ran a hand over his own chest smearing together cum and blood. He looked over at Ryan, covered in his fair share of it as well and smiled, despite any of the pain. Ryan leaned over kissing him on the forehead, a surprisingly gentle gesture after all of that, and said, "Alright. Let's get you cleaned up big boy. I’ll go hit the switch for the failsafe code."

Doubling down on the big boy choice apparently. Also that image of Topher smearing together blood and cum on his chest does still live in my head rent free and I imagine, probably Topher's.

"Oh." A little bit concerning, but Topher could roll with it. He moved his arm, experimentally, expecting a flash of pain but finding none, a feeling that was both relieving and disorienting. He reached his hand down to press on his leg. Nothing there either. Ryan pulled down the covers and both of them stared down at his bare chest for a moment. Topher had seen this kind of time travel trick work on players dozens of times so he didn't know why he felt surprised to see it work on him. He was almost a little sad he didn't get to spend a bit more time reveling in the feeling of being soaked in sweat and blood and cum but he would just have to think of that for next time. Next time. There was going to be a next time. Ryan had clearly enjoyed that as much as him. He had enjoyed that right?

Mike Walters coded. Also... Ryan isn't like, great at after care but it seemed out of step with his characterization in this fic to not have him do any of it at all. Despite everything he's pretty protective of Topher.

"Well if I just left you to fend for yourself after all of that you'd probably be useless for a while and we do still have a job to do. This murder game isn't going to win itself." Ryan rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. Was that nervousness?

Yep. Definitely completely pragmatic. Mhm.

Ryan looked at him conflicted for a moment and then climbed into the space next to Topher in the bed, easily slotting into being the little spoon. Topher buried his face into Ryan's hair and breathed in the scent of his shampoo. Soft. He could get used to this.

Aww I forgot Topher finally got to put his face in Ryan's hair after he avoided doing that earlier in the fic. That's cute. I don't know if this is like... a thing for anyone else but it's a pretty strong sensory image for me and it's very comforting.

"Don't expect this sort of treatment all that time." Ryan grumbled. "I know." Topher mumbled. "You have to be the big scary game runner. Let's get some sleep now though."

Topher too sleepy to take any of Ryan's shit is very funny. Shut up and cuddle.

[itsfirecat]

20 questions for fanfic writers tagged by @graham-cracker-guillotine I'm so sorry I missed this for like 2+ weeks XD. I forget I have a tumblr except for those few moments every few months when I spam reblog a bunch before crawling right back under my internet rock.

How many works do you have on AO3?

67! (Which is wild to think about, considering I've written all of them in the last two and a half years I think?)

What's your total AO3 word count?

I'm still a little astounded by this, but it's 203,676 as of December 15th 2023

What fandoms do you write for?

I largely write for DC at the moment, though I regularly write crossovers w/ Marvel, and I've got a not insignificant amount of Danny Phantom, White Collar, and Criminal Minds crossover fics too

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Falling Like Dominos (2363 kudos, Gen, a DPxDC crossover fic I wrote for DPDC week in 2022)

2. In the Pits (1914 kudos, Gen, again a fic I wrote for DPDC week 2022

3. Echoes of the Past (1755 kudos, Teen, More DPDC crossover stuff, but this time in 7 chapters)

4. Without a Compass, Without a Map (1452 kudos, my current longest fic, and main WIP, Teen, A Marvel/DC crossover, Tim Drake/Peter Parker)

5. Mass (1230 kudos, Gen, White Collar x DC crossover, Birdflash)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I haven't really in a while. Not because I don't want to, but because I look at my inbox and I feel overwhelmed XD. I really just need to set aside an hour or two sometime and go through to respond to them all. University has been eating a lot of my time this year.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I really don't end up writing a lot of angst, and when I do I really like making sure I know they're all going to be okay, but I think of my finished fics (because there's one I know the ending is going to be angsty as hell for, but that's yet to be written XD). But if I had to pick something from the limited selection I have, I think I'd choose Legislation, which is a White Collar x DC crossover fic, though I think you could argue it's bitter-sweet rather than angsty.

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happy endings in a fic are hard for the opposite reason that angst was XD. I have so many. But right now I think if I had to pick a favorite I'd have to go with my most recent fic, Sunflower, just because I'm still really happy with how that one. It's Superbat, and just pure fluffy getting together.

Do you get hate on fics?

I've had one or two, but tbh those comments were so cartoonish they made me laugh before I deleted them. In general my readers are pretty great, and I'm really happy with where I am in writing and posting online.

Do you write smut?

Not normally, I have one smut fic posted, and another floating in my drafts, but it's not normally what I go for. I like tooth rotting fluff most of the time, and being ace-spec I always feel like the "how do you do, fellow kids" meme when I write smut XD.

Do you write crossovers?

So many XD. So so many. I mean, all my top fics are crossovers, I think that speaks for itself

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, but if anyone happens to see my stuff floating around outside of Ao3 please give me a heads up, I'm proud of the work I put in, and don't really want others just taking it and claiming it as their own.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I haven't, mostly because it's not something I'm generally comfortable with. As someone who grew up bilingual, I'm keenly aware of how much meaning can get lost in translation, and while I'd be flattered if someone wanted to put in that tremendous amount of effort, I would struggle with not being able to check that the intent behind the words stayed the same.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't, and tbh I don't think I'd be too great at it. I have pretty strong ideas in my own head for where I want something to go, and I'm not always the best team player XD.

What's your all-time favorite ship to write for?

There's too many fun ships to pick from, I really enjoy switching it up and trying different things. Such is the curse of a multi-shipper I fear.

What's A WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I- I'm not sure. I know I have so many ideas in my notes for my Marvel irondad fic series, and while I really do want to still execute all those (especially because it was those fics that got me to posting my work in the first place), my brain is too deep in the DC headspace to write anything purely Marvel at the moment.

What are your writing strengths?

I like to think that I'm pretty okay at setting up story lines, and hinting at/building up towards a finale. I see people try to guess where my plot is going to go later on in the fic, and it always makes me happy when people are able to guess accurately. Ideally I don't want a reader to read a decision I make at the end of any of my fics and be confused as to where the idea came from, I want there to be things readers can find when the go back and read for a second time that they missed before.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I get pretty wordy, especially in moments like this when I'm also doing a lot of academic writing (because I kind of need to be). I'd also like to work more on my dialogue, and I'd like to get better at planning/plotting my fics before hand and gauging how long they'll be before I start.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it's okay if it makes sense, and you can still understand the fic without knowing what the dialogue says. I've done it for Tony and Peter, and had them speak to each other in Italian, but I usually did that more-so to show familiarity and comfort, what they were saying wasn't particularly important (and it was also in part so I could practice my own Italian XD)

First fandom you wrote for?

I think it depends? First on Ao3 was Marvel. First in posted fanfic was years ago on Wattpad, and a PJO/HP crossover fic. And before that back when I was like 11 I wrote Harry Potter fanfic without knowing what fanfic was.

Favorite fic you've written?

Picking a favorite fic feels a little like being asked to pick a favorite child. I think I don't have a definitive favorite, and how much I like any of my fics really depends on the day, my mood, my headspace, and any number of other invisible and unknowable factors. But I think for the purposes of this, I'm going to go with either, Assuming Makes an Ass out of You and Me, which is a White Collar x DC crossover fic, Gen, with minor JayRoy, or Half a Secret which is a Criminal Minds x DC crossover, Teen, and was one of my longest ever writing projects when I posted it.

Now to pass this along (though feel no pressure to do this if you don't want to ofc) @cassandrasdreamworld @notherdeadrobin @marirah

[cardfight-casual]

There’s no word on an official English release of Touken Ranbu -ONLINE- 2023 yet, but I’m hyped anyway, so I wanted to kick things off with a deck list for all the ride lines from Touken Ranbu -ONLINE- 2021. Here we have Kashuu Kiyomitsu, the ride line from the trial deck.

Deck Log Code: C1D6 Ride Deck: -x1 Kashuu Kiyomitsu Kiwame -x1 Kashuu Kiyomitsu Toku -x1 Kashuu Kiyomitsu Sentou -x1 Kashuu Kiyomitsu Main Deck:     Grade 3 -x3 Kashuu Kiyomitsu Kiwame -x3 Ishikirimaru     Grade 2 -x3 Shokudaikiri Mitsutada -x2 Ookurikara -x3 Kuwanagou -x4 Yamatonokami Yasusada -x3 Heshikiri Hasebe     Grade 1 -x3 Hyuuga Masamune -x4 Hakusanyoshimitsu -x2 Fudou Yukimitsu     Grade 0 -x3 Gotou Toushirou (Critical Trigger) -x4 Atsushi Toushirou (Critical Trigger) -x4 Hakata Toushirou (Draw Trigger) -x4 Gokotai (Heal Trigger) -x1 Kashuu Kiyomitsu Shinken Hissatsu (Over Trigger) Of the five ride lines, Kashuu Kiyomitsu is probably the easiest deck for players new to Touken Ranbu to build, if only because most of his pieces are available in the trial deck. Kashuu himself mainly checks the top of the deck to try to guarantee triggers or specific draws, and the ride line skill also allows you to search out his main support unit, Yamatonokami. A few units benefit from having all damage face-down, which Yamatonokami can help achieve by counterblasting as many times as you like to gain 10k power each time as long as Kashuu Kiyomitsu Kiwame is your vanguard. Most of the other support units also either let you manipulate the top of the deck or just help get your damage face-down. A few possible alternative choices for the deck would include: -Mikazuki Munechika     Potentially one of the most powerful rearguards currently available in Touken Ranbu. He has three possible abilities depending on how much damage who’ve taken, with five damage giving him the ability to restand for multi-attacks. The main reason I didn’t include him was because of how expensive the card can be, but if you happen to have him, he could take Shokudaikiri’s slot. -Front Triggers     Touken Ranbu can have trouble with shield value at times. While I chose draws to increase the chances of getting needed pieces, if you find that getting the units you need isn’t an issue, then swapping them out with Midare Toushirou or Akita Toushirou for the extra shield value is the better choice. -Sanchoumou     This particular card isn’t a great fit for this deck, but it could have its utility. If you find yourself consistently able to persona ride, but also with no damage to use for skills, then Sanchoumou’s your man. He’s more consistent than Kuwanagou since the only requirement is that you persona ride, but the reason I chose Kuwanagou was instead for his potential to soul charge. It’s up to you which you prefer, it largely depends on how you use your resources. -Ookurikara     The main unit I would consider entirely optional for this deck is Ookurikara. He can hit big numbers as long as he’s not boosted, but he was mainly only added to have another counterblasting unit. If you wanted to remove him, you could increase Heshikiri Hasebe, Hyuuga Masamune, or Fudou Yukimitsu to make up the difference.     Alternatively, if you really like this unit, while I wouldn’t recommend it, you could reduce Yamatonokami by one copy to increase the chances of getting him. Remember, these deck lists are for fun and not necessarily optimized. If you have another card that you think would make a better fit, then go for it and test it out. And with that, we’ve pretty much reached the end of what I have to say on this particular deck. If you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to send me a message! Next time I’ll start covering the ride lines from the set proper with Kasen Kanesada.

[stereax]

seems like other teams have started their off season moves early. *coughsinleafsimplodingtheirFO*

what’s your hope for the devils? a top 5: either signing, trade, free agent acquisition, and a wild card (something unexpected)

Hmmm. I mean, I'm just waiting for what Fitz does. I trust that man. but let's go through signing, trades, wildcards, and the current prospects. I think that's what you want, yes? (Also, glad we're keeping Lindy, at least for another year or two. Not the time to fuck with that.) Or did you want top 5 most important things that need to happen? I'll put them in Devils red for you.

I've said many times that this offseason is CRUCIAL for the future of the Devils. We mess this up and our contention window can be screwed. We get this right and we could win it all next year.

I. RFA resignings

Bratt: Bratt seems to want 8M AAV. Fitz probably is more around 7M AAV. Whatever happens there, happens. If they can't agree on a deal, flip Bratt's RFA rights. Obviously you want to keep him, though, and it seems he might want to be kept too, so that's a good sign.

Meier: Get it done. Offer plastic surgery for the nose. Whatever, just do it. I think Timo's staying, especially because he seems so happy around his Swiss buddies and the team at large. Just figure out the contract and sign it.

Sharangovich: Shango is good at things, like the penalty kill and defensive play. Problem is, he's very streaky. We can get him a decent deal and bridge him into UFA or trade him. Either is honestly fine by me. We have a MASSIVE pipeline of rookies. I think he stays another year or two. We'll see.

McLeod & Bastian: I'm going to get so much flack for putting these two in red (these two, because we know they're inseparable), but honestly, after the playoffs, Mikey's shown EXACTLY why he needs to be here, whether it's 3C or 4C. I like him on 4C if only to keep Nate on his wing (as I don't see him going 3RW with our current pool of players), but either is fine tbh. Nate, for his part, is a crucial "glue guy" - just look at the Bastian Effect stats (where we had an over 80% points percentage with him on the ice versus 55% without him). I'd love to see them with matching like, 3-4x1.420M contracts (get it, because their jersey numbers- I'll shut up now). I'm sure this will happen, so it's not something I'm worried about.

Boqvist: Cheap and solid team-controlled bottom-sixer. Keep him but for cheap.

Bahl: You can keep him for like 900K or so, I think. DO THAT. Man has blossomed slowly into a solid defenseman.

Blackwood: Blackwood is not a bad goalie. When he's good, he's GOOD. The problem is, as some of my friends say, "he lacks the most important ability - availability". There is no goalie in the NHL better than Mac... at getting on the injured list. I think after the Caps game where Akira stole his net and turned the game around, and then the playoffs where Akira showed he's probably our top goalie going forward, Blackwood is done.

II. UFA resignings

Tatar: I love him but he's generally a nonfactor in the playoffs. And expensive. Unless he takes a pay cut I think he's out, and I think he knows he's out.

Wood: Unless he loves NJ so much he'll come back for a 1M-ish deal, he's on the move. Maybe the Isles. Meet Lou again.

Haula: RESIGN THIS MAN ASAP. It's not a Meier/Bratt thing where one can set a price for the other. Do it, Fitz. 3x2M. Figure it out.

Severson: Old Man Sevo :') He loves us and we love him. I suspect it's the end of the road for him soon. He might get extended - maybe like 4 years at 6M or something - and traded in a year or two, that's totally possible. As an RD though and one of the top D-men hitting the free agency market, it feels like he'll get a better deal from someone else that we won't be able to match. Again, though, prospects out the wazoo. It'll suck to see him go but if that's how it goes, that's how it goes.

Graves: I love him but even he seems to know he's gone :( But I don't trust any other team with this man!!! Can he stay? Just for emotional support? (Also, Gravy has this thing where he tends to clutch the fuck up at the most necessary moments, like scoring the 1.4 seconds left goal against the Blue Jackets that kept Bedard out of the East. For that, if nothing else, keep him, pretty please?)

Bernier: He's on LTIRetirement. Possible he sticks around the organization, though, a lot of people seem to like him.

III. Trades and Acquisitions

Honestly, I don't see too many trades happening. We have prospects. Prospects will fill whatever spots we lose. Blackwood should be traded if possible to a team that wants to take that risk.

Hellebuyck: I see the rumors. I don't think so, though. You'd have to basically ship Vitek, Mac, and a bunch of other stuff for one year of Hellebuyck. Would be great, if we were the Bruins and this was the LAST year of our window (push all the chips in kind of deal). I genuinely think Schmid can be our long-term future in net, barring injury (see: Schneider, Blackwood). I don't see why we need to get Hellebuyck.

Clifton: Connor Clifton is usually mentioned only because he's FROM NJ. We have WAY too many d-men. Nah.

I don't really know too much about what's available on the market, but if there are trades, they're probably going to be low-key like the Lazar acquisition. If there are any trades or UFAs you're thinking of, let me know, and I'll think about them.

IV. The Rookies

Filmon and Gritsyuk: I think they both get a year in Utica at least, unless they impress at training camp.

Foote: Fitz mentioned Foote a LOT in his exit interview. Fully possible we see him on the fourth line - could be Foote-Lazar-Bastian or Foote-McLeod-Bastian. Seems to be the Wood Replacement by now.

Geertsen: I only mention him because we all love him. Obviously a career Comet at this point. But like. Keep him pls.

Holtz: 23-24 is his last shot. If he doesn't work his ass off and prove at camp that he deserves the fourth top-6 winger spot (Mercer, Meier, Bratt are the other three), he's not going to make it in our system and should be traded while he still has the possibility to crack an NHL roster in another team. Hell, with Haula often on Hughes's wing... Holtz REALLY needs to improve (especially skating, and I think ice vision is big too) if he wants to stay here. Otherwise, he's done in Jersey. He's a 7OA, we shouldn't resign him to career AHLing.

Nemec: He'll be a training-camp decision, I think. But also, I think that Sevo's resigning or lack thereof will say a lot. Sevo gets resigned, Nemec is DEFINITELY staying in Utica another season. (You're not scratching Dougie, Marino, or Sevo.) Sevo doesn't get resigned, Nemec likely hits the NHL. Only likely, because...

Walsh: Reilly Walsh also exists. And if he impresses at training camp, we could see him instead of Nemec for next year. I don't know a lot about him, but he sounds NHL-ready? At least for a third pair, like - Siegs/Dougie, Luke/Marino, Bahl/Walsh could slap. This also lets Nemec develop more in Utica.

Daws: Will be the third-string goalie, going to the NHL level if/when Schmid or Vanecek get hurt. I see him tandeming with Schmid after Vitek's contract is up. Fuck, our net will be SOLID if so.

V. Wildcards

Mercer and Schmid: Both Mercer and Schmid come off their ELCs in 24-25. The earlier especially Mercer is extended, the cheaper he'll be. Akira will probably want to see how the 23-24 season goes before a deal is inked. (Also, I want to see if Akira sticks with number 40 or goes to 93, which he used in Utica.)

Vanecek: TANDEM HIM WITH SCHMID. Vitek can get a 30-win season but he's not built to be a starter a la Sorokin or Shesterkin. VV's confidence is DESTROYED after the playoffs; I hope for his sake that the team can get him a sports psychologist or something to help with the mental aspect of the game.

---

Is this what you wanted, anon? Let me know :)

(this is the stuff I do instead of focusing on my finals :') )

[ilistentogirlinred]

okay my thoughts on chk chk boom:

i like it! it's not my all time favourite stray kids title track but it's fun. they tried something different and it turned out well. it kinda sounds like an ateez song, largely because of the last chorus, but it does have a somewhat ateez-y sound - which i like!

the instrumental is fun and the song is structured well. the verses are good and i like the topline melodies. not a huge fan of the prechorus but i like the chorus a lot. i don't think it has the best line distribution but everyone seems to have the same amount of cool/memorable bits? i like the choreo a lot. also good for them for getting ryan reynold and hugh jackman in the MV!

i'd give it a 7.9/10? id say currently it's in my top five skz title tracks? in 5th place, below thunderous, maniac, god's menu and back door.

thoughts on the ate EP as a whole:

i really liked mountains! b-sides that could've been title tracks are always my favourite skz songs (i.e megaverse). it's VERY stray kids. i'd give it a 7.5/10? i liked the refrain bit (head above the clouds etc) more than the chorus and the chorus was the low point in the song for me.

i don't like jjam that much, it feels like a messier version of item. i do think it would be very good live, and i think my thoughts on it could change. but i found the lyrics kinda cringey and annoying. it's a 5/10 sorry

i like it is very radio friendly. i didn't playlist it and the chorus feels a little funky. i do know that this is one of the songs that they were trying something different with, and i think they did well with something that's quite far from what they're usually used to, but skz has done pop-y songs before that i like more than this one (see like half of han's solo songs). 6.5/10, it's not cohesive enough for me. instrumental is cool though

runners is a lot like domino honestly, until the chorus. it's quite good but it's not playlisted. the production is fun! i bet it'll have super fun choreo. it kinda reminds me of social path too? it's very season two shounen anime opeing. 7/10 i think

twilight is amazing obviously. han's songs always slay. sonically, it's like if want so bad (lee know and han) and that song by jeonghan and wonwoo from seventeen that i forgot the name of had a kid and the kid is friends with mingi and yunho's song. (i need the skz player/replay/whatever the heck it's called songs on spotify). solid 9/10 hanpop never fails us

i... don't like the self titled song much. for a song called stray kids, it's not the most stray kids sounding song. this song also reminds me of social path and is giving last season of a sports anime opening when they're in their third year and are going to nationals and its sad but also happy or whatever. the references to their older songs were cute. 7.5/10, it's a nice sounding song but it's also not playlisted. fitting that it released just after the contract renewal news came out! i hope they're all happy with the contracts and stuff

the chk chk boom festival version is garbage. what the fuck happened to the instrumental. it sounds sped up but its not and its what panic and fear sound like. i want it removed from my memories. 2/10

overall, it was a good project! it's a solid EP and i think it'll be good live (hoping i can get tickets lol). from the mini documentary thing they did, it seems like they were a bit creatively burnt out and also quite tired while working on this, and i think they wanted it out sooner than it was? regardless, it's a great release and considering how busy they've been the past year, it's very good. i would give it a solid 7.5/10 overall.

[northwest-cryptid]

you know, the idea of a virtual world has always interested me too, something like a mini planet that truly feels connected. but I've always found a single problem in particular.

for the scale I'd want to see, there's simply no fucking way a single server, regardless of how strong, could handle it. you'd need the most god tier server farm possible to simply keep up with processing for everyone who'd be there, and by the tike you get it you'd probably be bottlenecked by stuff like the laws of thermodynamics and the amount of data that can fit through your cables.

I do have two key solutions in mind, one of which being a stargate like system that'd honestly defeat the point, but the other idea is that it could be more feasible if we managed to make room temperature superconductors a thing. less resistance means less heat, higher bus and R.A.M speed, and overall being able to handle more updates for more players on the equally sized world.

I don't mean this in any kind of rude way but I don't think we're the same on this one. I don't say anything here out of mockery, nor do I mean any disrespect.

I really don't want to seem rude but it doesn't feel like you're speaking from a realistic point of feasible action. Like, why do you need all those bells and whistles? Why bother trying to create something so cumbersome and large that it would require future tech we literally don't have? Or that the common person couldn't obtain?

I mean sure it's always cool to think about the future or to think in terms of "what if" sci fi scenarios. But the tech we have now allows for so much creativity and I feel strongly that you could achieve a reasonable approximation of what you want in our age if you didn't rely on it being so grand scale.

I mean the other big thing is you speak of it needing a massive server because of how many people will be there, but there's no way to assure that there will be that many users.

A big thing with what we currently have these days is that users need a way to connect with the world in question, VR allows a pretty solid entry point for that. However it's not without it's flaws, even the cheapest VR headsets aren't, you know; cheap. They take a reasonable amount of computing power as well so even if you can afford a nice headset you're still running the problem of needing a computer that can keep up with VR resolutions and graphic outputs. We're talking essentially either a dual monitor setup or a simulated dual monitor set up being projected from your computer on resolutions typically around 4k on modern hardware. That's not exactly easy for a computer to just, do.

So then what about desktop users? Surely desktop users could connect to a VR world via something like VRchat right? Well yea but as a good friend of mine put it "it's like you're all at recess and I'm just watching through a drone." The interaction, immersion, and capabilities of someone viewing a world via Desktop mode are going to be wildly different. Primarily lacking compared to something like VR that is capable of really immersing someone.

If you really could pull off something like this, and you don't want to use a hosted service like VRChat that already has a userbase, you're asking your users to obtain hardware necessary for accessing your world, and a computer that can handle that hardware; and then on top of that you're asking them to discover and sign up for your own thing.

I mean to even create a world of that scale would take quite some time to put it lightly. It takes entire teams of people to create things like Elden Ring which are massive games, even if you cut out all of the mechanics and just focused on world creation, if you wanted to make something genuinely quality in nature you're going to need a lot of time and effort. You wouldn't be able to waste time developing your own servers and backend processes or the hardware to run something like that and still actually have time to create a world of that scale.

I apologize if it sounds like I'm just sitting here shitting on your vision, I don't intend to do that. It's not that I think either of us are "right" or "better" or whatever. Without people who dream big we wouldn't have half the advancements in tech we already do. I just think that your visions are a tad too big for us to be on the same page.

My idea is to create a world using what we have available to us in today's age. Where the biggest hurdles I may encounter are learning how to script in UDON or figuring out how Unity works on a deeper level. The hardware exists, the software exists; I'm not asking for a super computer or a stargate.

I don't have anything against you or the interest you have in world creation, the idea of such a thing would be fascinating; but it really feels like you're hung up on the needs of a problem you don't even have yet. You want to scale at such a degree that you've created an impossibility for yourself. I just can't really get behind that.

When it comes to things like this I'm often quick to tell people that they should break their problems down into smaller steps, rationalize a solution; and just focus on taking the first step.

However, here I feel like you're just aiming significantly too big; to the point I don't really see a reason for it. I understand that the idea of such a scale would be impressive and really cool sure, but why? How? What would such a scale truly achieve that you couldn't do with something more manageable? Why not simply start small and work up to something larger? Break down the issue, use current tech and start figuring out how to develop the world you're dreaming of?

I mean I think it would be really cool to see someone with your ambition working on VR worlds and the like with the hardware and software we have now. If you haven't already, which I assume you probably have at least somewhat; wouldn't it be better to just start learning to use applications like Unreal Engine or Unity or something, start making worlds; start uploading them to places like VRChat or other hosting services so you don't need your own servers.

There's a million solutions to server problems, host it somewhere else; host it across multiple servers; downsize until it works. I mean, it feels like you want there to be a problem. Your solutions are futuristic in nature, they don't feel realistic at all. The scale you want is unfathomable to a degree I don't see a need for it.

If you started development on something you could maybe secure funding to further your work through something like patreon or donations, you could use that funding to secure various server farms and such and little by little you could maybe actually achieve this. Instead of feeling like your solutions need to come from stargates and thermodynamics.

Sorry this ask sort of blind-sided me. My opinion ultimately doesn't matter to your life, so please don't let my words bring you down or anything. Perhaps I can't understand your grand vision, that's not sarcasm; that's not mockery. It's entirely possible that you have some kind of vision in mind that is truly a spectacle that the world would be bewildered to witness within our lifetime and should it be something you believe feasible at all I genuinely only wish you the best of luck on it's creation. However I cannot say myself that I would aim for such excessive need for scale. We've seen scale without substance before, time and time again the flood of "open world games" that have over-saturated the market with empty worlds and needless scale are a perfect example of what I mean when I say that I don't wish to create maps/worlds without purpose and reason to them. I'm not saying you would necessarily do that, but I fail to understand how any person or even a team of people could handle such a scale without relegating work to some kind of procedural generation. When you take into account just how long it really takes to create even small worlds, you can begin to see that there are cracks in your plan that have nothing to do with server space and sci fi computers. I would love nothing more than to see you succeed. So I genuinely hope you're a more intelligent individual than I am, and have some kind of idea how you're going to pull it all off, granted I'm not actually very smart to begin with but you know what I mean.

Just because I see this as something needlessly excessive and impossible doesn't make that opinion or view true; it just means it's my opinion. If people only believed the voice of a single individual all the time we'd never get anywhere. I only ask you be gracious when proving me wrong, because I would love to explore the world you some day create and experience your vision; maybe then I will understand the need for such scale and we can see eye to eye.

Hopefully you don't view me negatively for such an opinion, though I wouldn't necessarily blame you for not being thrilled at my response.

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 556

I’ve talked in the past about the need for tutorials for games, and to not depend on the previous knowledge of the audience to fill in the gap, even if that game was intended for that audience. 

However, I’ve never talked about the game mechanics that aren’t supposed to have a tutorial. Unspoken game mechanics are weird because they depend on a player’s observation skill, and curiosity in order to be learned. Anyone who has created anything that is meant to be interpreted and consumed by an audience knows this is an exercise in frustration. 

I will fully admit I am not the most observant person ever, and if I play a game where it’s easy to fall into a routine (like most farming games that exist) it might not occur to me to do something different. For players who may be very goal oriented, if there are supplementary bits of lore to read, they might not read it and as a result miss important context for the game. Resulting in a completely different gameplay experience.

Most of the time, my gut reaction to this is that these mechanics should be made more obvious, that you shouldn’t always trust the player to just get it. In part because you risk the player having a suboptimal experience.

However, what do you do when understanding the unspoken game mechanics is part of the fun? I’ve currently been in the middle of playing Garden Life, which is not the most intensive game ever. It is a gardening game, very chill for the most part. However, minus the basic gardening tutorial, there are a number of unspoken mechanics in the game. Well, technically there is only one large mechanic, and that is, how were the plants coded to grow? 

For example the game explains to you that you can prune every plant in the game. That’s how you get clippings of flowers in the game to sell or to craft into other items. It also tells you that it’s fine to clip the plants they will grow back. However, the game does not tell you how pruning will affect the plants. Specifically, pruning a plant will encourage growth. This is important for climbing plants like ivy or morning glory, because if you don’t prune them they won’t grow to climb up the trellises you planted them against. 

But then this begs the question, does pruning also affect the other plants? Like I have a sneaking suspicion that trimming the top of my bushes will get them to grow taller, because it’s coded to grow where you trim them. It’s a theory I have, but one I haven’t fully experimented with. 

There’s a few other things in the game I would like to experiment with. Like I think my climbing plants maybe should only be planted one per trellis side and that would encourage them to grow outward and cover more of the trellis instead of straight up and down. My theory behind this is because I had planted two Fatsia bushes side by side, and one of them grew at a straight 90 degree angle so it wouldn’t collide with the other Fatsia bush. So I had actually dug up all my ivy plants and replanted them, giving one plot per trellis to see if I can get better coverage.

And here’s the thing… This is fun, because I get to discover a mechanic on my own. That feels good as a player. Like I got joy out of figuring out how to effectively use the storage system in the game. However, I do know from the forum for the game that there are some aspects that people are finding frustrating and that is a problem. This is unfortunate.

Which brings the question, should the game make these mechanics more obvious?

[rev-levitz]

Below the cut is personal journal-esque stuff, talking about my experience creating for ttrpgs and art in general.

I have been running D&D for the past 17 or 20 years. Definitely since high school, but more concretely afterwards, when I became the de facto Dungeon Master of my older cousin's friend group at the advent of 4th edition. It came at a time in my life where I desperately needed control over literally anything to save myself, so it ended up being a good fit. I adored 4th edition as much as I abhorred 3.5, largely because the people I played and ran 3.5 for didn't really know the rules and when we did learn them things turned very quickly into a shit show with the kind of immature semantics and rule bending/breaking that I think were common to a bunch of people fresh out of high school getting into table top. So I started playing with these older folks, at best 8-10 years my senior. They came with their own bag of foibles, but 4th edition as a system was largely an improvement for my life. It had a system structure that wasn't as easy to bust open, and didn't suffer from the glut of expansion book bloat that 3.5 did. More than that, 4e felt more readily like a more ready transition from games like Final Fantasy Tactics, and it became a space that was very comfortable for me to experiment with in terms of home brew. That group had its own problems, as I said, and I was DMing for a few groups while working slightly less than full time at a grocery store for meager money, an eventually some groups merged, we moved to 5th edition. Chemistry's didn't work, etc etc. Long story short it has now been close to, I think, 7 or 8 years that I have been running with my current group. All good friends, all in my age group and of like maturity but... There are problems. Largely, it feels like, with me.

Part of the reason that I became the de facto DM was that I had the most free time of all of my cousin's married with children friends and while I did my due diligence to ensure I was prepared for sessions I did a lot of making things up week to week rather than really planning a campaign. This kind of winging it became the way I did things, relying on the fact that for the most part, there was almost no overlap with the things I enjoy and my friends. So I could cherry pick ideas and run with them without being called a fraud. I think I also got really burnt out as the things I was "trying to create the right way" (with proper pre-planning, trying to build long term campaign ideas and see them through) never really landed. I didn't at the time think my ideas were difficult to interact with, but I kept running into a wall with these older players where they simply didn't want what I was putting down. They also wouldn't offer me guidance on what they did want to play, so I relied more and more on just throwing out bullshit. Which became my habit. As my life got more complex and busier, as I started therapy and started going back to college my feelings about creating for tabletop, and for writing fiction, and for drawing (even as it was a newly discovered love) turned into such great anxiety. Even now, on SSRIs and in a relatively stable place, I feel such intense anxiety about running. I made big changes this year, and one of my friends was kind enough to take over running for me so i could focus on that and plan a campaign and I just... didn't. for like 6 months. I understand that part of it is that I was burnt out on every aspect of my life, and part of it is this developed anxiety from rejection piggy-backing on insecurity from other sources. I really love playing table top, and I really love running games. Not just DnD but my experiences with Monster of the Week, Star Wars SAGA, and Pathfinder, but it has become so... paralyzing. I have made some progress though. One of my players went to India for work, so I bit the bullet and bought a Foundry VTT license. Getting myself to work on sessions is still kind of like pulling teeth, but I am getting stuff done but... I hate this anxiety around creating. The second guessing about whether or not my friends are having fun and the frustration around building what feels like mediocre, uninteresting combats. I want to recapture the excitement of working on 4e, but it still feels so monumental a task to get into and start working. To plan out the campaign's story and get my ducks in a row. It feels like there is so much I have to learn and it feels so much bigger than me - Like I will not be able to make something as good as the moving goal post of quality I compare myself to. I'm going to keep trying though. I want to feel like I am a good game designer and story teller. I gotta throw myself into guides, conversation, find a way to get help about how to build the things I want in my game, and in my writing. I should start with an outline tonight, at least for the next few sessions.