dailyrandomwriter

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 802

I apologize to the rare person who follows me and got an alert of a journal page and a blurb about it. That was supposed to be for my Pretending I’m a Cottage Lady blog, which is where I post all my journaling shenanigans.

Even though the February setup had been done for a week, due to the fact it’s in the middle of Canadian winter, I haven’t had good lighting to take pictures of my journal as of late. It doesn’t help that by the time I’m done working it’s often not enough light for good pictures. So I took all the pictures super late, tried to adjust the lighting the best I could and then queued everything in the wrong blog.

And there’s no way to switch posts to a different blog, so yea…

It’s been a pretty busy week of me working and then trying to fit everything I want to do in my life after work. Something that can be a bit difficult with the added complication of the occasional mind wandering and doom scrolling. Though I will say it’s been a vast improvement compared to last year.

Though at some point I am going to have to sit down with myself and accept there are certain things that just aren’t high enough priority to upkeep. Like I love Santae, but to play the way I want to play the website requires a solid hour of my time that sometimes I would rather spend doing something else.

Or should be doing something else.

I just have to sit back and accept that I don’t have the time or at times inclination to really take part in the community events the way I want to. In large part because I have no desire to fight with other players over resources at the moment.

Especially because I started another blog called Clicks on a Whim so I can post Infinity Nikki pictures and reblog whatever Infinity Nikki thing I find, which reminds me, I do need to talk more about that game at some point.

That’s a future me problem.

Anyhow back to mopping because today is housekeeping day.

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 801

Today, while in the middle of a good work day (meaning my brain did minimal wandering), I got a message from one of my managers. Asking if I wanted to work some extra hours.

Now, for once, I didn’t feel the need to work extra hours. My workload isn’t killing me now that I can focus for several hours at once instead of 10 minutes for every 30. 

I should have said no.

I knew very well working extra hours makes me miserable and cranky.

It’s less time to write, and do the things I want to do out of my life

But the devil spoke to me, and it whispered this was money I could use to get a new glass pen. A new, shiny glass pen to play with, surely a few extra hours would be worth it. Besides, it was a set project instead of me playing catch up and the deadline was two weeks.

Surely… surely…

The glass pen I wanted, and now that Canada Post is back I wouldn’t have to pay the extra shipping for a private shipper. I ran the mental calculations in my head. Imperfect calculations because I didn’t know how much of that extra pay would be taken in taxes and knew even less how much extra money I would make because they were extra hours which meant premium pay.

Also, the task that was asked of me surely couldn’t take that long (I say forgetting that this project requires me calling doctor offices that will certainly put me on hold). I could make it work, and with a deadline of two weeks it meant I would only have to do it for two weeks.

I checked my current pay rate, the cost to ship the pen I wanted, the cost of the pen… the cost of all of this in Canadian dollars.

I could do this, this project would take at least 5 hours tops (we’ll see if future me agrees with that estimate).

So I agreed and we’ll see if future me will want to murder past me.

[dailyrandomwriter]

This has bothered me, but that's also because at some point in the HOPA history, for reasons I still don't really know they began to use live actors in HOPA games. It was one of the things I absolutely fucking hated, and the reason why the Drawn HOPA series would be my favourite during that time period despite those games being shorter than most HOPA games.

It's a style of gaming animation that had fallen out of favour by the time HOPA came around, but got introduced at some point in 2008, most notably Mystery Case Files: Return to Ravenhearst, which is where you start seeing that very hyper realistic design in the people.

And whether we like it or not Mystery Case Files had an incredibly large influence on the genre. They're the reason why it exists the way it does now. They were the first to introduce the idea of mixing HOPA with traditional point and click adventure games in Mystery Case Files: Ravenhearst, which was at the time incredibly innovated. Especially since they took advantage of the creep factor that was the story line.

As a result a lot of HOPA games followed suit and what we play now is standard. Unfortunately the use of live actors was also a trend that was followed and most of the actors weren't really good.

Fortunately, it's not a trend that stayed, but you can kind of see its influence in the fact that some games continue to attempt to make super realistic characters. I don't know if from a developer point of view if it's cheaper to do it this way, but I tend to hate it.

It's very jarring when you have stylized environments and scenes and then have these people be your characters. And you're right, they're not as visually interesting. But that is why those kind of characters exist in this genre.

So I'm nearly done with the last of the three Phantasmat games on Steam (Crucible Peak, The Dread of Oakville, and Endless Night). I loved Crucible Peak, didn't really enjoy Dread of Oakville, and Endless Nights is fun so far!

However, playing these games made me realizing something, and the Phantasmat series is honestly a perfect example of it:

I tend to favor Hidden Object games that stylize their art and characters. The backgrounds + hidden object scenes can be unique for sure, some have more of the dark + gothic vibe I like, but they're usually the same detailed scenery that it doesn't bother me too much. (Unless they're lazy 3D objects and are hard-to-navigate). I find that the characters are what matter to me to make a game 'special' out of the hundreds of Hidden Objects out there.

Looking at the original Phantasmat game(and Crucible Peak), the characters are stylized, their designs work with their true 'deceased' forms, and their animations look well-done, there's more fluid movement with their eyes and mouths:

But compare this to Endless Night, Dread of Oakville, and other Phantasmat games, where they make the characters look realistic and generic. Nothing about these designs are truly unique - there's no special silhouettes, the expressions + animations are awkward, and there's no real stylization to make it 'stand out' from other games. You'll find dozens that have characters that look like these:

3D models can have good character designs - my favorite HOPA game of all time, Brink of Consciousness: Dorian Gray Syndrome, has their characters 3D-modeled in-game, but the examples above look too hyper-realistic, and it limits their animations and expressions GREATLY compared to just...2D-drawn characters.

Has this ever bothered anyone else?

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 799

There are things I want to do, that I actually don’t want to do today. Games to play, stories to read, stories to write and all sorts of other things.

However, unlike every other Tuesday, I can’t blame it solely on the fact today was my on-site day.

I am right now thinking how fast can I chuck myself into the shower and start my evening routine so I can play Infinity Nikki in peace.

EVEN THOUGH!

I know I will get the best enjoyment out of this game if I take my time. There is a reason why I’m now allowed to play this game until after my night time routine is done, because by the time I finish that routine I normally only get an hour and a half of playtime.

2 hours if I’m really good.

2 and a half hours is pushing it.

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 798

After coming home late from a Lunar New Year celebration last night I decided I was not going to go to the game meet-up. Not just because I had a low social battery, but also there was journaling to be had.

It is a strange thing when you’re trying to fill your day doing everything you want to do and then finding you don’t have time to do things you had time to do previously. 

I’ve mentioned this before, it’s not a bad thing, it’s just different and I have to now choose what I want to do with my time. 

Still, it was great to have a Sunday to myself, did no chores, ordered takeout and just finished up decorating journal pages. I think I’ve found a layout/method that is quicker to set up, but still gives me the highly decorated pages I want. It does mean I won’t have much variety in set up, but I’m fine with that.

All I want are pretty journals to work out, games to play, things to write and a clean home. More or less, I am getting that so I can’t complain. Also I spent way too much time sending up my new blog Clicks on a Whim because I have no chill.

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 797

I have experienced today one of the strangest perks of working at my place of employment. Where I come from there are places called children treatment centres, and these are places that are primarily funded by the government, backed by the public and slightly kept afloat using private services (because the government never gives them enough money). These are places where children can receive speech therapy, occupational therapy, recreational therapy and physiotherapy, along with social work, because navigating government programs are a fucking nightmare.

And depending on how well funded that centre is, and what other non-for profits are around it, it may also have a number of specialty programs, like assessments for wheelchairs, medical strollers, and communication devices. These assessments are important not just to make sure the right fit for the child, but because of funding. There is also a government program called the Assistive Devices Program (ADP) which will pay up to 75% of all medical devices, acknowledging that the government is deciding what is a medical device.

All of this context is important for two reasons. The local Member of Parliament (MP) is holding an open discussion to get feedback on this assistive program. This includes listening to a lot of advocacy groups, community members and community partners, the last one is what my place of work falls under. 

Now, I had no idea this was happening, but I  am an administrator for a lot of the specialty programs, so the announcement of this discussion showed up on my work feed because my manager wanted to get the therapists’ feedback on the program. Since part of the requirements of the program is to have a particular ADP approved personnel sign off on the forms, which some of the therapists are involved.

Normally, this has nothing to do with me and I would have ignored something specific to the therapists. However, I use ADP for my medical supplies, and as an administrator I get to hear from families who are also less privileged than I am. So I emailed my manager and asked, can I give feedback as a user of ADP.

She immediately approved of this and for the first time, I got the chance to actually bitch about a program that while I benefit from it, is not perfect. Specifically I got to bitch about the fact that there is no way to remain permanently with this program without renewing it. Which, on the surface makes sense, these types of funding programs (including the universal health care) is essentially one large insurance company and like all insurance companies run under the assumption you can get better.

Unless I grow new body parts, or get isakai-ed into a “healthier” body, that is never going to happen for me.

Now I am lucky, I have a family doctor who doesn't charge me an arm and a leg to sign anything, and my ADHD isn't so bad that I can't take care of this kind of paperwork on my own. So renewing my application with this program is not a huge deal. However, to families who many not have a consistent family doctor, be low income, or have other things going on in their lives, to renew when they don't have to, is a huge barrier.

So it was really nice to be able to direct my complaints somewhere, and an opportunity I would have never gotten if I didn’t work where I do now.

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 796

As I wait eagerly for evening to come around so I can explore the new Infinity Nikki update, I’m reminded of how much I loved seasonal updates in video games and loved even more watching Youtube content creators get excited about those updates.

The majority of the games I play don’t normally get seasonal events, though a lot of indie games will do small seasonal releases. A sort of thank you to their players (and marketing for their game). But due to the niche nature of those games and the fact they are small, those updates happen with little fanfare beyond the news announcement I get through Steam.

The last time I played a game that had the kind of updates that would send fans speculating what was coming was Animal Crossing over four years ago. When I had a lot less capacity to yoink myself away from my Switch and hadn’t yet discovered the use of timers while gaming. So I burnt myself out on that game, felt a lack of satisfaction and was the start of my journey towards more niche games.

Watching as the Infinity Nikki community speculated over the hints of what was to come in this update and then squealed (for most part) when the announcement was made was a joy. I often ended up watching the shorter Youtube videos going through the to-be updates while exercising because I needed something to keep me occupied while I do my least favourite self care task.

But here is the thing, I too am also very excited. I want to see these new things, experience these events and take pictures. So many pictures, to the point where maybe I should consider a side blog on Nikki. Most importantly though, I want to experience this with other people.

While I’m 99% sure the maintenance for the update is finished at the time of writing this, I am waiting until the evening. For two reasons, one, it prevents me from playing too much (because bedtimes are a necessity) and two, my friend will be online. There’s no multiplayer so we can’t play together, which is a shame, but we’ll either parallel play while being on Discord or maybe she’ll just watch me while I run around like a child on too much sugar in game.

Still figuring that one out.

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 795

Tuesdays are always the bane of my existence and I complain about them all the time (if my entries are of any indication). My mom, after I yawned and told her I was tired, asked me today what would I do when work makes us all go back on site every day.

For a second, a part of me wanted to snark back that “I would just die.”

But the adult part of me won and I pointed out, as I have every single time this has come up in the past four years, that there is no room to put all the administrators even if higher management wanted us back. It seems to be a conversation I have with my parents every fucking year, like they can’t seem to imagine that there is no room where I work to have a department of admin people. 

I work in the public sector, the government has never given us enough money to do what we do. If the choice comes down to spending money for a place to put the admin people or spending money to pay the therapists, the therapists are always going to win out. 

And rightly so, because waitlists are a nightmare. The general public can bitch about the waitlists in any publicly funded service, but we’re not happy about the wait times either here.

However, when I thought more about it after I got home, I realized… while I wouldn’t ‘die’ my quality of life would be very much decrease if I went back on site every single day. This is because when I did work on site, I wasn’t really looking after myself the way I do now. Before journaling, I really did just go home and vegged out every single weekday. I didn’t make time to exercise, clean my home regularly, write, do personal projects or any of the things I enjoy now.

The only reason why I didn’t crash and burn completely was because I food prepped on the weekend, otherwise I would have just eaten frozen foods on the daily.

Working from home has allowed me to take movement breaks and properly exercise. I’m not exhausted from waking up early enough to commute to work. I’m not sore at the end of the day from working in a workspace that has never quite suited my needs no matter how much adjusting is done to the location. I’m not coming home uncomfortable from having to use washrooms that aren’t suited to my medical needs. And most importantly I’m not tired due to all of the previous things mentioned, allowing me to do things.

I normally take one last movement break after work is out. After a day on site, I can’t even bring myself to read or enjoy the hobbies I do as a destresser, nevermind the number of little things I do to keep my life on track.

The worst part about this, is I can almost hear my mother in my head complaining that she had to do all these things and look after my sister  and myself. However, I am not my mother, and I am just going to have to learn to live with that.

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 794

So I’ve recently been re-teaching myself how to play Logic Town, the word puzzle logic game I had mentioned a while ago now. Not because I’ve stopped and started replaying it (it hasn’t been that long since my last entry about this game), but because there is another clue mode that is better than I was using.

Well… better in terms of speed, not necessarily usability if you have trouble parsing large amounts of information.

In the mode I was playing in, the clues are all written with little icons of the different objects on the grid. These clues are presented one at a time, using arrows to go back and forth between those clues. This is great if you have trouble parsing large amounts of information, because it forces you to focus on one clue at a time. It’s not great however if you’re aiming to solve a puzzle quickly.

Logic Town has both a daily challenge mode and a free play mode, both of which score a player by their accuracy, use of hints and speed. The quicker you can solve a puzzle without any errors or use of hints, the higher your score is.

And this is important when considering the second clue mode, which condenses all the clues into a series of infographic pictures. This mode is much better if you’re aiming for speed because it shows you most of the clues all on one page. By being able to see more clues, you can then determine which clues to solve first to provide the quickest way to solve a puzzle. 

Also, for someone like me who sometimes has trouble parsing written information, seeing visually what the clue was trying to tell me is actually easier. However, seeing that much information is also very difficult. So I’m currently teaching myself how to sort that information, which clues to solve first, which then to focus on, and then when all else fails how to read that information in a way that helps me make educated guesses quickly.

The dumbest thing about all of this is that I don’t need to do this. The timed ranks on the free play mode and the daily challenges are extra things. There is no reason to do this, but I get more enjoyment trying to get a higher score and a faster time, than playing the story mode. 

At least it's keeping my brain fresh I guess.

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 793

When people talk about pacing in games, it’s often the rate in which the player can progress through the game. This is especially true for games that have a level up system or where the player has to fulfil certain requirements before something else in the game can be unlocked.

It’s very rarely, if ever, used in reference to how much a player plays the game on a daily or weekly basis. This is not surprising as games that have tried to limit a player’s ability to play the game have been met with attempts to override said restrictions. The best examples are Animal Crossing and Cozy Grove, where the games are designed (in theory) to be played only for a certain amount of time a day by linking the passage of time to the real world. In both games, players either have complained about that restriction, or tried to get around it by ‘time traveling’ that is changing the time on their physical device forward so they could continue unlocking more of the game.

I have always appreciated the limitations within Cozy Grove, the ability to play for only an hour and a half and then having to walk away because there wasn’t anything else to do in the game prevented me from over playing. Can’t say the same thing about the latest release of Animal Crossing, as New Horizons’ Nook Miles mechanic encouraged a player to keep grinding even if it was the same day (and pointless).

But I’ve never purposely limited my play sessions. In large part because when I do play games more often than not I have purposely made time to play very long sessions of a game. In large part because I want to finish the game, want to see where it takes me or how it ends. Until recently.

Because I have other things to do in my day, like my job, journal setups, writing, more writing and other video games I put a timer on Infinity Nikki. I had begun doing this for two reasons. The first is that Infinity Nikki is a live service game, which means it's always going to get updated and there are always things going on, so I try to sign on every single day. However, to prevent the game from taking over my life, I play it before bed, which means I have a bedtime, which means the game needs to be put on a timer otherwise I will not sleep before midnight.

So my reasons for doing this were completely practical in nature. It had become part of a routine, I would take a shower, finish journal updates for the day and then depending on the time left over, set a timer so it would go off a bit before it was time to go to bed. Often this would average out to an hour a night.

The act of doing this though, had an unusual by-product, that is, doing it this way would end up making Nikki a far more sustainable game for my long term enjoyment. Live service games tend to suffer from the problem of trying to continuously update the game frequently enough to not lose their player base who would eventually go off to other games if there wasn’t anything else to play. And it often has to do with how players play those games, we play those games like they’re not a live service game.

That is, we’ll sit and devour the content of a game as quickly as possible.

But once that content is devoured there is nothing for the player to do. Infinity Nikki actually already had suffered this problem with their Chinese player base within a month of release because somehow (don’t know how) a lot of players ran through the whole content of the game. Which I assume includes all the quests, and crafting all the clothes, on top of the main story quest.

I however have not, I am only on chapter 6 (I think), and with three more chapters to go, and averaging only 1 hour a night it is unlikely I’ll finish this before the next major update. Especially since I have a tendency of exploring every nook and cranny of Wish Field. I haven’t even finished all the sub quests, instead letting them pile up as I poke my head into every cave, and jump up onto every ledge the game has to offer.

And as I pointed out to @wereah last night, this is actually really great for me. Not only does this method prevent me from burning out, but unless the developers of Infinity Nikki really slow down their content release, I will probably never run out of content. There are already rumours of a 1.2 release for the Lunar New Year, which probably means a large seasonal event, new features and maybe even another chapter.

I would like to suggest this method of playing a live service game to more people, but I also recognize having played live service games in the past, like Children of the Sky, that there is something about Nikki that makes me chill. I don’t feel the need to continuously push forward, or rush to a location.What I do for Infinity Nikki, I might not be able to do for other games like it, and I frankly don’t know if I could play another live service game. Having one, that I really, really like, is enough for me.

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 792

Tangentially, I always knew my mother hated the first school I ever attended as a child. Hated to the point where she began to misremember what they did and did not do for me. She would claim forever and day that they never advocated for speech therapy for me.. And… It is very possible. I was once a client of the very centre I now work for. For all I know the therapy I received while in school was due to the advocating of my therapists and social worker, not because the school decided I needed it.

However, despite what my mother may remember, I did get speech therapy in my first school, along with physiotherapy to strengthen a club foot that had been corrected when I was in kindergarten. The only reason why I remember this, is because I have a fuzzy but distinct memory of the special ed teacher who ran me through my speech exercises encouraging me to keep the bible the school wanted me to return.

Due to the fact that the school had ‘given’ me that bible as part of my first communion, and then insisted that all the students give their bibles to the school. Don’t ask me why, I have no answers.

My mom’s anger though is not without merit. I was a child born in the 80s and grew up in the 90s. Inclusion Canada notes in their pamphlet on The Delivery on Education Services that the bill (Bill 82) that ensured publicly funded education for all students regardless of disability was signed in 1980.

I was born in 1984, and would attend school in 1990, only a decade after this bill was signed.

So one can imagine the bias and misconceptions that my mom had to face, especially because I was a high needs child. While my family has always had the adage of, “Your body may not work but your brain does,” (undiagnosed ADHD aside), the thing is, for children with high physical needs the ages between birth and five years of age, you’re pretty much always in and out of hospital. As a result, unlike being an adult, where my disability is now hidden, it was very obvious as a child.

Aware of this, I knew tangentially that my first school had issues. What I had not known until recently was that my mom chose that school, or more specifically the Catholic School Board, because they were the first school board to purposely integrate disabled students into mainstream classrooms. There was probably a lot of bitterness in that admission to me. I can only imagine the hopes she had choosing that school board only to have it dashed by a terrible principal and possibly equally terrible teachers.

I’m not unaware that my first principal once told my mom to not have any expectations of me.

What I wasn’t aware of was that my second principal from middle school was apparently my biggest advocate. Not only did he advocate for me while I was at his school, but he advocated for me when I was in high school. Which made me feel bad because I’m not even sure what his last name is anymore.

Especially considering I didn’t attend middle school that much. Puberty had hit my body so hard as a teen that I was in and out of hospital many times until I was 18. It was so bad that sitting was distinctly uncomfortable (and has given rise to the weird way I sit now), and I couldn’t walk far, and it was probably less walking and more waddling. So doing something as simple as walking to the school bus stop was not happening. 

Nevermind the fact my energy levels were shit back then.

It turned out this man had advocated for specialized funding so I could be picked up from my home to go to school. A principal who was no longer my principal advocated for my ability to keep my agency and be picked up like every other student.

My mom telling me this blew my mind, not just due to the kindness of a principal going above and beyond, but also it put into perspective the last time I saw him. Unfortunately he passed away several years ago, but a few months before I left for university I had run into him. When I last saw him he was very pleased at my choice in university, not because it was prestigious, but because it had a very robust accessible learning department. He spoke positively on the size of the campus and the staff at that department. 

Even back then, he was thinking of my well being.

In the face of that, I’m not surprised my mom doesn’t remember anything good about my first school. How can one school with a principal who tells a mother not to have great expectations compare to another school whose principal did everything even when that student stopped being theirs?

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 791

When Animal Crossing New Leaf released, one of the best features they implemented was the ability to take pictures in the game and then (relatively) easily port them to a computer so they could be posted on the Internet, along with the player’s ability to visit the towns of other players.

Not because as a game mechanic it made this game suddenly the best thing on earth (though the ability to visit other towns was great), but because it was free advertising for the game.

Animal Crossing New Leaf did not need to advertise itself very hard because there was a community of dedicated players who loved to take pictures and then share them on the Internet. Rightly so, because it was a lot of fun to do and then you got to show people all these amazing things other people made or designed.

Something that I’ve been thinking about lately as I’ve been playing Infinity Nikki.

However, I don’t think the advertisement is towards gaining new players, but rather towards the already existing ones. See, as I’ve mentioned in the past, Infinity Nikki is a free to play game, but it’s a game, which means it has a gacha (lottery) system for its cosmetics, that’s how it earns money. It’s a system that is standard in free to play games, and one that I have negative feelings on because while I am not necessarily affected by this system, there are people who are predisposed to spending too much money on that system.

But I’ve also mentioned that Infinity Nikki’s actual gameplay is so robust, that you can play through that game, enjoy the game, and not spend a dime. If you are into the dress up portion the clothes that are part of the game are very pretty and not substandard at all, and if you do want the very shiny pretty clothing, the game gives enough rewards that you can reasonably earn a good number of those clothes. So, if you’re not a person who suffers from the fear of missing out, you can very much enjoy this game.

So what does this have to do about photographs and advertising?

In Infinity Nikki, you can take pictures in the game. The camera feature in the game is incredibly well done. Camera mode offers a wide range of poses, lighting, filters and adjustments while picture taking. Best of all, the game automatically dumps a copy of that picture into a folder in your files for easy access. So you could… you know… upload it to the Internet?

Not only that, but the outfits won from the gacha system are more often than not, better for picture taking than they are for running around in. I’m not sure what it is, but I find that full gowns aren’t as satisfying to jump around in the game, but they are beautiful to take pictures of. In fact the limited edition clothing from the gacha seems to be purposely designed with picture taking in mind. 

For example, I had recently won the full outfit of Daughter of the Lake. I had originally meant to stop once I got the veil as that was the item that fascinated me the most. However, my luck… as it were, caused me to win the veil last, after winning all the other pieces in that outfit. So I had the whole outfit, which, if you wear it and then put Nikki in water (like she is a colour changing Barbie doll), scales will appear on her skin.

In gameplay, you will not be able to see this while moving her around. It also takes a second or two, like a real colour changing Barbie doll, for the scales to appear. So it’s a feature not practical in gameplay, but for picture taking… where there are a lot of beautiful places with shallow waters… It makes for an excellent photo opportunity. Photos that other players can then see, both in game and on the Internet.

And when you see those photos, it’s gorgeous, who wouldn’t want an outfit that kind of makes their character a mermaid? So you want that outfit and you may try for that outfit, and because the gacha system guarantees a 4 or 5 star level item after a certain number of pulls, you may find yourself only an item or two short. So you might want to spend a bit of money to finish off that item if the stuff you got for free isn’t enough. 

Now do I think the developers are being malicious by having the camera feature? No, the camera feature was clearly built with a lot of love, but it is good to keep in mind that if you see a picture of Infinity Nikki in one of those really nice dresses, that it’s probably meant for photos, not necessarily play.

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 790

One of the weird things about virtual pet sites that I don’t know anyone ever mentions, but you tend to find your own joy in them. While these types of sites do have games to play, things to earn, quests to go on (so to speak), a lot of the time, the people who get the most enjoyment out of these sites are people who find external reasons beyond the game mechanics to play.

This can be through role playing, story writing, art making, lore discussions and socialization with other players. 

It can also be something as weird as collecting a lot of junk in hopes that it will be of use to someone.

My major thing on Santae is that I camp out in shops to buy items for quests by stocking up on items. I also regularly gather foragable items even if I’m not questing that day. I do this in part so I can just blast through quests, but the other reason why I do that is so I can give them away. I have Discord alert me if anyone is posting in the questing channel, and if I happen to be around and have the item in question, I race to see if I have said item to just give away.

There is no game mechanical reason for me to do this, and I don’t accept payment back for that item. I just like doing that, because if I am going to make my inventory a junk drawer while I listen to a podcast or a Youtube video, I might as well make it worth someone else’s time.

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 789

One of the fun things about doing new things with other people is learning new shit. For example, @wereah is a very large advocate for using drawing references. Which makes sense, even the great classical artists used drawing references, they’re called live models.

However, I never considered what counted as a drawing reference, until I started working on Chimera Academy.

Or until I met Were-Ah, because one of her great talents is teaching herself how to use other computer design programs… such as Blender, which is where a lot of video game models get ported to by hobbyists. She also taught herself how to pull models from video games, which then can be used as a drawing reference. 

In fact, if you know how to use Blender, it can make for a much better drawing reference because you can move the object or model around. What’s even more interesting is that realistic graphics aren’t necessarily better, and not just because the moving parts and textures can make it a nightmare to port to Blender. A semi-realistic but stylized 3D model, especially for backgrounds can make it easier for the artist to parse the visual information needed to use the reference for their own art. 

Learning about this has allowed me to take part in some interesting conversations. For example, Were-Ah and I have talked before about the merits of a game like Tiny Glade for environmental design. Tiny Glade is a toybox building game, where the player can design little cottages, towns and even large complex castles. Despite the random generation of the building parts, you have enough control that if you have an idea for a town, you could design it in the game. While you can’t pull the models for that game (because of the game engine it uses) the game allows for very good picture taking, and you could make a town and then take pictures in the game as reference. 

It’s become such a part of how I think that I even sometimes suggest games to her as a reference point, which is hilarious because I am just the person who writes.

And sometimes run around Infinity Nikki getting sitting portraits for references.

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 788

Several days ago I finally finished the game Journey. I say finally, not because it was a long game (it was only 2 hours long) but because it took me so long to get around to it. Journey is a fascinating game on a lot of levels, especially because it was a game released in 2012. 

It was a game that was lauded for its gameplay and narrative at the time. Not only because it was very good, but at the time it was released it was kind of unusual. The game relies completely on its game mechanics and visuals to tell the story as there is no dialogue or written narrative in Journey. This means it is completely up to the player to build the narrative based on the cut scenes (which are drawn motifs) and on the environment the game takes place in.

But what really makes Journey fascinating is the multiplayer aspect. At any point during the game you may meet up with another player on your own journey. You cannot talk to them, you don’t know who they are, but they will join you on your journey. This part of the game is really fascinating from a social engineering standpoint.

Part of this… I suspect, is due to the game setting expectations. Even in the old marketing for this game, the primary market beat was the fact you would be traveling with other players randomly, not knowing who they were and not able to speak with them. But the other is most likely the game design. You’re traveling a vast and desolate wasteland with only a single marker in the distance to guide your way. Having another person by your side solving the exact same puzzles is comforting and makes you feel less out of your depth.

But it doesn’t explain the most fascinating aspect of Journey’s multiplayer. See, I’ve travelled with four people on this journey, not all the way as people sign off on the game part way through. However, I’ve never been left behind by any of my companions in the game, and I felt the need to do the same thing. 

At one point in the game, I had to run to the washroom because I had too much tea the hour previous. I had been with a companion, and figured I would just finish the game on my own. Instead, I found them, sitting beside me patiently, even though they did not know why I had stopped. Yet they waited for me, and we finished the game together.

That experience probably stuck with me more than all the melancholy storytelling that game had to offer.

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 787

It has been nearly two weeks since I started using a daily log journal, and it’s been a learning process on several levels.

I don’t normally carry around notebooks with me. Not only am I reminding myself to take my notebook with me, but also reminding myself to take advantage of the fact I’ve taken a notebook with me.

The primary reason why the daily logs moved out of my everyday journal and into its own journal was that I was just finding things to write, for the sake of writing so it wasn’t really serving a useful purpose. Though a large part of that problem is that I have shit memory these days, and will often not remember anything important while writing.

The second reason for the change in daily logs has to do with the acceptance of… my memory is shit due to the ADHD. This means accepting that if I hear something verbally there is a non-zero chance I will just forget unless it is written down. However, putting anything in my phone will not help, because I will forget to check my phone and then by extension, forget the thing. Writing things down helps reinforce memory, and after a full year of using an everyday journal, I’ve learnt to check my journals. So I’m more likely to check it for a to-do list, than my phone.

This means I don’t use the daily log journal, like the way I used to use my daily logs in my everyday journal. My daily log journal starts with the things I’d like to get done that day, and the things I’d like to do (as opposed to doom scrolling). And as the day goes on, more things get added to that log.

Sometimes it’s a notation that I need to buy something on the next grocery run, such as freezer bags, calcium supplements and antibiotics. Other times, it’s a note of an appointment book with an additional note of letting my mother know about said appointment.

Every once in a while I have a thought about a blog post that I want to write about, rather than let it slip through my brain matter, I write it down with a notation for ‘write’. 

And more importantly, in an attempt to recognize that there are interesting (granted small) things that happen in life, I often try to note anything that has happened. Whether that is someone at the game meetup giving out maple candy, or the kind of take out I decided to have that day.

It’s a different way of journaling, but one that I do find useful, even if it’s a learning curve right now.

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 786

Within the writing community there is a lot of talk about world building, especially when you’re writing a story not based in the real world. How you need to know a lot about your world in order for it to make sense, even if those are aspects the reader will never read.

However, I think there is an argument for really well done pieces of fiction where the world building is incomplete or even worse, have plot holes. We’ve all read, watched or played stories that we’ve enjoyed in the moment, but have serious questions about after the fact. 

And for all the fanfiction people have written to ‘correct’ those gaps in the world building, there’s nothing wrong with those stories. In fact, as someone who both reads and writes fanfiction, those are sometimes the best stories.

Lately, I’ve been writing shorts about Infinity Nikki as a way to explore the world of this video game. There’s a lot about Infinity Nikki that doesn’t make sense from a practical world building standpoint, however that is not the important part of the game. A lot of the world building was designed to give players a particular vibe and experience. It never set out to set the rules of the world economy, question the reality of making wishes (too deeply at least) and was created to give the player a sense of wonder and joy. Getting into the nitty gritty of the implications of having a class of people who can alter reality to make some mind bending clothes, or the lasting effects of the event known as the Heavens Fall isn’t the point of the game.

That being said, as someone who literally writes for their own entertainment and enjoyment, getting into the nitty gritty is a lot of fun. Especially because I do not need to create the characters, world or even a lot of the concepts on my own. I can use what the game has given me and bounce myself off of that like Nikki bouncing off of a wishing net. It allows me to focus on an idea, or a thought, without the worry of everything else in between.

There’s a reason why writing fanfiction is a pastime for some folks.

So yea, while I enjoy a well built world, I also enjoy a world that just gives me building blocks to work with apparently.