#like it's a thing for a reason. you can project your experiences on someone else and you can STILL be wrong my guy lmao

[felassan]

Podcast: My Perfect Console with Simon Parkin - Episode 98 - 'Corinne Busche & John Epler, game directors, Dragon Age: The Veilguard'

Summary:

"Corrine and John are the director and creative director of Dragon Age: The Veilguard. Corinne Busche majored in digital animation at the University of Utah. In 2006 she joined the studio now known as EA Saltlake, working through the ranks to become a Design Director for The Sims series. John Epler studied English language and literature at the University of Alberta. After graduating, he was selling televisions when he applied to be a tester at Bioware. At the studio he began working as a writer and director of cinematics. Now, the pair have come together to lead development on the latest entry to the beloved Dragon Age RPG series, which launched at the end of October."

[source, two]

Notes/quotes from the episode, under a cut in case of spoilers:

John Epler: thematically, "DA:TV is ultimately a meditation on regret, more than anything else, not just as an amorphous theme, but how the way we deal with regrets shapes our lives. [Solas'] entire arc is motivated by the regret of what he had to do millennia ago". So many of the companions' and characters' lives are driven by regrets (wallowing, or letting it take over their lives, or facing them and taking a step forwards). "Every character has some different perspective on regret". This theme shows up in Solas, companions, side characters, faction stories and side villain stories

Corinne Busche: "When approaching this game, what was right for this game, it was about being really aware of what it means to be BioWare, first and foremost. The focus on characters. Getting back to our singleplayer roots. Really exploring this world, the deep lore that's been built up around this franchise. And, to be completely honest with you, what worked from those past games that caused our players to fall in love with BioWare titles in the first place."

John Epler: "A lot of the focus just came down to being part of a studio that has a very specific and very real strength in character-building, story-telling, and being on projects that maybe didn't center that strength as well as they could have. I personally love Mass Effect: Andromeda but we had open-world - that was a big thing in the industry at the time - and that starts to dilute your focus. We had Anthem, live service dilutes your focus. So for us, it was really, understanding, what it is that A) people come to this studio to do, people work here for a reason, they wanna make big stories that you can play and which allow you to be a hero of your own creation, but also a focus on characters, a focus on that experience of living in a different world. And for DA:TV, we really wanted to make sure that we got back to those things that made the studio what it was, that contributed to what I would call the 'golden age of BioWare', when, you know, there was hit after hit being turned out. DA:TV was a very conscious return to that with the focus on characters, storytelling, and being just this really bombastic singleplayer RPG that allowed you to play through the story as yourself if you want to, or an idealized version of yourself, or someone who's really different to you. That's the joy of a custom protagonist."

Corinne Busche: "I felt very supported through this, by both BioWare and EA. It's intimidating to buck trends in an era where it feels like almost every game must be an open world, to say, you know what, that works for those titles. For us, the way in which we tell the best stories and be true to our roots - a more handcrafted, intimate experience is appropriate. And just to have that support from within, around getting back to those elements we do best, was fantastic."

John Epler: [around 5 years into development, around the time when Corinne Busche joined the team] "The challenge of the game at that time was it was a bunch of different games that were kind of being spearheaded by different people. There wasn't really a cohesive vision or direction at the time. I was narrative director so I had my storytelling corner and I'm like, okay, we need to focus on character, we need to focus on story, but everywhere else there were so many competing ideas and competing priorities that we had, I mean, conservatively, I'd say three different games going on. So Corinne joined the project, and reached out to me on Slack, said hey, you know, I'm joining, I'd like to talk. And I remember coming out of that meeting with this profound sense of relief, like okay, finally. Because, as narrative director, there's only so much you can do to shape the course of a project, and here comes Corinne, very sharp, very clearly understands what we're doing, and is asking all the right questions. It was just this moment of, okay, good, there's an ally here, there's someone here that knows what they're doing, that can pull some of these visions together into something more cohesive. I'll say, working with Corinne from day one has just been an absolute pleasure, because Corinne gets games, Corinne understands how games work, understands how they come together. I think it's something that we take for granted, but not everyone in the games industry necessarily knows that."

Was Corinne Busche nervous when she got the call to join the project, a project that was 5 years deep? Corinne Busche: "You know, I was, but I was also tremendously honored. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment but I love a good challenge. And it's kind of, to be honest, become an aspect of what I do, to join teams and help empower them and get where you need to be. I will say, Dragon Age, we talk about how we don't always get to work on or design the games we play. While it was intimidating, Dragon Age is one of my all-time favorite series. I was one of those people that waited in line outside GameStop until I could get my DA:O copy. I remember walking home with it in hand. So it was surreal, it was surreal. I was aware of some of the explorations, some of the difficulties, what was working, what was not. When I joined we had collectively made as a studio the decision that this needs to go back to a singleplayer game. And I will say, when I picked up the controller, pulled down the build and played for the first time, it was still that multiplayer concept. Yeah, I had that moment where I went, whoa, well, okay, you're in it deep now lady. But what a privilege, and to look back on what makes a BioWare game so special, and to see the talent within the team, it felt very achievable, it did."

What was the main thing that Corinne Busche perceived where the team may have lost their way a lil bit and needed a hand back on track? Corinne Busche: "Well, here's my perspective. I wouldn't even say the team had lost their way, to be honest. There were a number of concepts that had been explored, and there are merits to that. There's a lot of good learnings that come from exploration and indeed failure. In some ways you learn more from that than you do from success. This was a situation where we had an outline of a story, and speaking of my first interactions with John, I had much the same feeling of, okay, this is somebody that knows what this game needs to be, what it can be, that can realize its potential. It was very assuring. It really was looking at, what did we have, what can we keep? And a big part of that was that initial story outline, it was the tech stack that we had, some of the ideas behind the game, about it being more intimate, being true to the deep RPG strategy, the pause and play gameplay, but also an awareness that this is, as with all Dragon Age games, a reinvention, and that intimacy, that immersion, stepping into Rook's shoes was going to be a very important part of this journey for us. So that is to say, we really dissected everything. We took this back down to its studs, whether it's gameplay, progression, mission game flow, I can't think of any rock we didn't turn over. In fact, John, correct me if I'm wrong, but my recollection is, I think there was only one mission that more or less survived in a recognizable form in the game, that being the Siege of Weisshaupt."

^ John Epler: "Yeah, you are correct. That is only mission that I would say looks like it did back when Corinne was joining the project."

[character limit text break!]

Were they given a deadline that the game had to be out by that was looming over? Corinne Busche: "There's always a deadline, and it's important that there is because that creates a sense of drive, prioritization, velocity, you learn what the team can do together. What I will say is that we had tremendous support from within BioWare and EA when we said, look, we've discovered the beating heart of this game, what makes it work, and we're not ready yet. We're not at quality, we think we can do more, we can push it further, we're very transparent with that, because it was important to us that this is a game that is worthy of BioWare and worthy of the title of being a Dragon Age game. So when we go back to that, well, I'm really happy to say that, it wasn't always the most fun conversation, but I'm really happy to say there was a lot of support, commitment and interest in making sure we did get the time we needed."

John Epler and Corinne Busche asked to do this interview together as opposed to only one of them (as DA:TV was a team effort of many people)

[source, two] <- listen to podcast here!

[yashley]

no but it's hilarious to me that imogen herself has been parroted how terrible liliana is, how she knows she’s a bad guy, how she knows she needs to bring her down, and yet still they're like "i mean have you ever thought that your mom is evil and irredeemable????" lmao

[mortalityplays]

You need more free art.

I quit my job yesterday. Well, actually I quit my job eight weeks ago, but they finally released me yesterday for good behaviour. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do - but I do it for the wrong reasons. Working for major charities, you learn very fast that 'I want to make the world a better place' is a phrase you use to ask people for money, not to give them things. I was an ass-backwards fit for that world.

You need more free art. I need more free art. Everyone has felt the shift in our media landscape over the last ten years, away from access and towards nickel-and-diming the human experience. That lack of access is making life and culture worse for all of us, across the board. Paywalled news sites leave us less informed, attacks on the Internet Archive leave us less capable of research. Algorithmic social feeds and streaming walled gardens trap us inside smaller and smaller demographic bubbles, where we are increasingly only likely to encounter ideas that have been curated for us by marketing departments. Hasty efforts to resist AI commodification have only led to more artists locking their work away and calling for even more onerous systems of copyright law. This is not good for us.

We all need more free art.

So what am I going to do about it?

This is a question I have been asking myself for years. It's easy to sit here feeilng frustrated and thinking 'boy I hope SOMEONE does SOMETHING'. It's harder to take action in a world where I still have rent to pay. But hard doesn't mean impossible. Sometimes hard just means time-consuming, frustrating and slow. And sometimes it's worth doing something time-consuming, frustrating and slow because...I want to make the world a better place.

I'm going to do this:

1. From April 1st, I am relaunching as a freelance writer and editor.

This is the one that will (hopefully) help to pay the bills. I am a very good and experienced editor. I've worked on hollywood movies, I'm a member of the Chartered Institute of Editors and Proofreaders, I have clients who have been coming to me exclusively for more than 10 years.

Alongside bigger contract jobs, I am going to refocus on offering my services to small-press creators at a reduced rate. That means you, graphic novelists. That means you, itch and amazon writers. I want to help you develop your work, the same way I help large organisations. You can learn more about what an editor even does and what kind of pricing you can expect here.

2. I'm also going to start giving shit away. Like, constantly.

Next week I'm going to launch a new free shop. If you're unfamiliar, a free shop, giveaway shop, swap shop, etc. is an anarchist tradition of setting up a storefront where anyone can take what they like for no cost. Offline, this often means second-hand clothes, tools, furniture, food etc. Online, I am going to be giving away digital art. Copyright-free, no strings attached. It will (eventually) feature everything from print-res posters to zines, poems, tattoo flash, t-shirt designs and anything else we come up with.

Yes, I said 'we' - while this is a curated collection, it will feature work from a variety of credited and anonymous artists and activists, all of whom have agreed to give their work away to the public domain. Some of it will be practical, some of it will be political, but a lot of it will be decorative or personal. This is, in part, a response to recent difficulty I had finding somewhere that would print a one-off joke poster for a friend that featured the word 'faggot'. Enough. No middlemen - no explaining ourselves. Just print our shit and enjoy it.

I'm very, very excited about this project. I'll have more to say about it closer to the launch, but you can expect it to go live on March 27th.

2.2 I forgot to mention the ACTUAL LAUNCH GIVEAWAY

To celebrate my launch, I am going to be giving away a ton of physical prints. When I went looking for my old stock to see if it was worth setting a new (paid) storefront up, I realised I had way more old work in storage than I thought. This will be announced in its own right on Monday, but this is why I've been hinting you should go follow my Patreon.

On April 1st, I will pick 8 random patrons (from across all tiers including non-paying followers!) and mail them a bundle of assorted prints and postcards. The prize pool includes A3 and A4 posters, packs of A6 postcards, and printed minicomics that I've previously sold for up to £12 each.

You don't have to be a paying subscriber to enter - this is strictly no-purchase necessary. It is purely and entirely a celebration of the concept of GIVING ART AWAY FOR FREE.

3. PORN, YOU PERVERTS

Because I still have to pay to stay alive, I am going to be subsidising all this free art with the introduction of Fuck You Fridays. Starting from March 29th, I will drop a new 18+ short story on the last Friday of every month, over on itch.io (yes I know my page is desolate right now, don't worry I'll get there).

The first edition, Go Fuck Yourself, is about, well - telling your boss where to stick it. Julia has had it with her millionaire man-child manager, and is just about ready to let him know what she really thinks. It's a short and steamy 5k words, with a gorgeous cover illustration by @taylor-titmouse, and you can pick it up for $3 starting from March 29th.

4. ANOTHER BIG SURPRISE

I'm keeping this one under wraps for now, but April 1st will also play host to one more (FREE) launch. If you've been following me for a long time, you might remember the other significance of this date (no not April Fool's day, though that is certainly thematically relevant to this entire effort). That's all I'll say right now. Watch this space.

tl;dr: I'm sick of paywalls and career ladders. I'm literally putting my money where my mouth is. More free art for everyone and I'm not kidding around!!!

[daretoassume]

77 quotes to change your perspective

carl jung

"if the path before you is clear, you are probably on someone else's."

"until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate."

"the world will ask who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you."

"it all depends on how we look at things and not how they are in themselves."

"there is no coming to consciousness without pain."

joe dispenza

"can you accept the notion that once you change your internal state, you do not need the external world to provide you with a reason to feel joy, gratitude, appreciation, or any other elevated emotion?"

"if you want a new outcome, you will have to break the habit of being yourself and reinvent a new self."

"if you were to start investing your attention and energy into the unknown, your body would then be able to follow your mind into the unknown—a new experience in your future."

"if you cannot get beyond your stresses, your problems, and your pain, you cannot create a new future where those things do not exist."

"if you focus on the known, you get the known. if you focus on the unknown, you create a possibility."

eckhart tolle

"the primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it."

"life is not as serious as the mind makes it out to be."

"you find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life but by realizing who you are at the deepest level."

"pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within."

"most of the so-called bad things that happen in people's lives are due to unconsciousness. they are self-created, or rather ego-created."

wayne dyer

"when you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."

"you are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be."

"begin to see yourself as a soul with a body rather than a body with a soul."

"be miserable. or motivate yourself. whatever has to be done, it is always your choice."

"you are what you choose to be today. not what you have chosen to be before."

louise hay

"every thought we think is creating our future."

"i do not fix problems. i fix my thinking. then problems fix themselves."

"you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it has not worked. try approving of yourself and see what happens."

"there is no written law that says that because you once believed something, you have to continue to believe it forever."

"the more we love ourselves, the less we project our pain onto the world."

jen sincero

"if you are serious about changing your life, you will find a way. if you are not, you will find an excuse."

"your life is your party. you get to choose how you invite people and experiences and things into it."

"you need to go from wanting to change your life to deciding to change your life."

"what you tell yourself on a daily basis is more powerful than you know."

"comparison is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life."

tony robbins

"it is your decisions and not your conditions that determine your destiny."

"you cannot have a plan for your day until you have a plan for your life."

"belief in limits creates limited people."

"the only thing that is keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself."

"if i could uncover what beliefs and values control me, i could literally redesign myself."

marcus aurelius

"the happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts."

"our life is what our thoughts make it."

"the best revenge is not to be like your enemy."

"every living organism is fulfilled when it follows the right path for its own nature."

"today i escaped anxiety. or no, i discarded it because it was within me, in my own perceptions—not outside."

jay shetty

"the more we define ourselves in relation to the people around us, the more lost we are."

"actually, the greatest detachment is being close to everything and not letting it consume and own you."

"it is impossible to build one's own happiness on the unhappiness of others."

"if you are satisfied with who you are, you do not need to prove your worth to anyone else."

"the grass is greener where you water it."

mel robbins

"if you only ever did the things you do not want to do, you would have everything you have ever wanted."

"you are one decision away from a completely different life."

"when it comes to change, goals, and dreams, you have to bet on yourself."

"change your decisions, and you will change your life. and what will change your decisions more than anything? courage."

"if you have the courage to start, you have the courage to succeed."

alan watts

"man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun."

"never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command."

"you are under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago."

"a person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts. so, he loses touch with reality and lives in a world of illusions."

"hurrying and delaying are alike ways of trying to resist the present."

ram dass

"the quieter you become, the more you can hear."

"your problem is you are too busy holding on to your unworthiness."

"i can do nothing for you but work on myself…you can do nothing for me but work on yourself."

"free yourself from the illusion of good and bad days. labeling time makes us nostalgic for the past and demanding the future. there is only here and now. let it be."

"no matter what someone else does to you, never put anyone out of your heart."

lao tzu

"care about what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner."

"the best fighter is never angry."

"respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment."

"if you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."

"nature never hurries, yet everything is accomplished."

muhammad ali

"if my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it—then i can achieve it."

"do not quit. suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion."

"he who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life."

"i have never let anyone talk me into not believing in myself."

"i am the greatest. i said that even before i knew i was."

steve harvey

"you cannot leave what is important to you up to someone else."

"stop wasting time looking at someone else's reality while doing nothing about yours."

"the dream is free, but the hustle is sold separately."

"your dream has to be bigger than your fear."

"you cannot tell big dreams to small-minded people."

albert einstein

"i am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. imagination is more important than knowledge. knowledge is limited. imagination encircles the world."

"anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

𓍯 entryfromsane004 (extracted from the old blog two years ago)

[scoobysnakz]

did i add slight fluff at the end bc i can’t bare angst (even though i wrote it myself) ?? yes. but that’s not important

loser!miguel who isn’t at all amused when he first meets you, his new lab assistant who is so insistent on kindness in the workplace, especially in the forms of physical contact.

loser!miguel who has to adapt to you because he’s never met someone like you before. most people avoid him like the plague, intimated by both his personality and appearance. but you don’t care, you just keep pushing his boundaries much to his dismay.

you can’t take a hint, no matter how many times he yells at you or shrugs off your hugs you keep acting the same. yes, you pour countless apologies out of your heart, arms itching to pull him into a sympathetic hug, but for some reason you can’t stop seeking out some form of physical contact.

loser!miguel who slowly becomes accustomed to your high fives whenever a project goes successfully, your good morning hand squeezes as you slide next to him at the desk, the good evening hugs that leave his heart hammering.

loser!miguel who lets you lean on him when the meetings get too long, enjoying the fact that it’s him you chose out of everyone else.

loser!miguel who suddenly can’t get enough of you. he’s gotten that sliver of attention and it’s gone straight to his cock head.

loser!miguel who has experience with women but has never been as infatuated with anyone as much as you. he finds himself thinking of you at the most random moments of the day, wondering if you’ll like certain things, how hard you’d laugh at the crude joke someone on the subway made, how you’d feel pressed between his body and his bedsheets.

loser!miguel who ends up stalking you on instagram, desperately trying not to get hard at the sight of you posing with your friends at the beach. it’s not his fault your swimsuit leaves so little to the imagination.

loser!miguel who gets lost in the way your bare thighs look that he ends up falling down a rabbit hole of impure thoughts.

his mind is plagued with thoughts of your thighs smothering his face as he laps at your aching cunt, the plush skin covered in bite marks and his saliva.

he can’t stop thinking about how easily his cock would slip in and out of them as he fucks your from behind, hand covering your mouth as he pressed you against the wall of the lab, whispering sickly sweet praise that makes your gummy walls flutter around him perfectly.

loser!miguel who has to start rejecting your hugs because the thought of you feeling his erection while innocently wishing him a good night makes him… hard ?

loser!miguel who hates the way you frown whenever he rejects your hugs. you thought you were making progress !! but now he just tells you now is not the time or just simply ignores you.

it stings right to his core seeing your pretty smile falter as you slump away. he can’t bring himself to apologise but he can’t hug you, not when his cock is throbbing from the smell of you.

loser!miguel who palms himself off in the shower to the thought of your hugs, the one he denied just hours ago. how badly he craves the warmth of your embrace, to feel your body pressed against him while telling him to get home safe.

he’s never had someone care about him like this before.

loser!miguel who buys countless fucktoys but no flesh light can mimic the warmth of feeling your cunt, the feeling he’s made up inside his head anyways.

his off days are spent one of two ways: fucking his fist and/or toys relentlessly to your instagram, or simply staking out the coffee shop you mentioned briefly in conversation weeks ago.

loser!miguel who finally can’t hold back when you completely give up on trying to hug him. you don’t even approach him anymore, just look up at him with wide puppy dog eyes as you call out a somber farewell from the other side of the lab.

he walks up to you as you slip your jacket on, gaze flickering down to your chest momentarily before landing on your face. “can i walk you to your car?”

“i get the train.”

“then let me walk you there then.”

> next

[honeytonedhottie]

lessons in protecting ur peace⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🛍️

after reading the book pyscho cybernetics something that rly stuck out to me was that literally EVERYTHING IS UR MIND. and duh, thats what i've primarily based my blog on…💬🎀

but i wanted to talk about the idea that everything that u experience is because of ur mind and that goes into how you interpret things as well. so lets talk about how u can protect ur peace through ur reactions.

CAN WE NOT? ;

first, lets remember that everyone experiences the world differently and reacts to things differently from each other. based on subconscious belief, self concept, upbringing, trauma etc. therefore everyones perception of things is shaped by their own unique brain.

for example lets imagine that theres a rly pretty girl and shes rly sweet. the people around her have an idea in their mind that pretty girls are stuck up and mean, so they look for reasons to categorize her and prove themselves right. they look for ways to make her fit into the narrative that they've fed themselves…💬🎀

i give this example to show that peoples judgement of u is based more on them and their subconscious beliefs more then it is about you. period. someone else's problem with u isnt ur business. when u persist in a belief whether its consciously or subconsciously your reality will prove you right. your literally manifesting a belief that doesnt serve you so can we not?

PROTECT UR PEACE BY NOT TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY ;

taking things personally means, misinterpreting someone's thoughts/actions and believing them to be targeted toward us personally…💬🎀

this is particularly dangerous to our peace because when u take things personally you'll start to adopt what other people tell u about urself as fact. if someone calls u dumb then ur gonna believe them and think that something is wrong with you when that isnt the case.

if u know that ur actually rly intelligent and someone tells u that ur dumb, you won't care because you know that ur smart and you know that they're just projecting their beliefs unto you. you make the facts about you. not others.

YOU DECIDE THE FACTS ;

for a fun journal exercise i want you to write down the facts about yourself (u can also write down new traits that you'd like to manifest and make fact about urself) so open ur diary to a fresh page and write an about-me page. fill the page with positive facts about urself and who you are. these are the facts and if someone tells u otherwise, fact check em.

BE GENEROUS ;

people spew some crazy shit when they dont like you or are envious of you and the best way to respond is to first, not respond at all because they dont even deserve to get a reaction out of you. but if ur lowkey petty, add onto their accusations to make them look dumber.

like if they try to clock you about something and accuse u of something, make the accusation WORSE. ofc with nuance but have some fun with it sometimes.

people can't shame you for made up accusations if u dont care and if ur living in ur truth and therefore their agenda to try and bring u down to make themselves feel better is ultimately squashed. dont waste ur energy arguing with people and just keep that peace protected.

[phntmeii]

♡ Dating Bo and Vincent Sinclair Headcanons:

❝ She always said your talent would make up for what God took away from you. ❝

[SFW Headcanons]

Pairings: Artist!Reader x Vincent Sinclair. FemBimbo!Reader x Bo Sinclair.

Warnings: Slight pervert!Bo Sinclair, Mentions of kidnapping+murders, Manipulation.

A/N: Sinclair Twins are some of my new favs. They are so delectably made I can’t- So here are headcanons BUT with describing what their specific types are instead of keeping it vague. Also, I view Vincent as a selective mute who’s vocal chords are a bit fucked up so he only speaks a few times a day so not a complete mute.

Vincent Headcanons:

✎ Vincent hasn't had any dating experience so much of what he knows is from what Bo has told him which didn't make it interesting in his eyes. But when he sees you, all he wants to do is admire you for whatever reason.

✎ He’d specifically go after you and be the first victim he’d kidnap rather than outright kill.

✎ He tries to convince you he isn’t dangerous (to you) and does little things to prove it. Showing off his drawings, playing music for you, writing notes and letters to you.

✎ Vincent would honestly come off strong because he doesn’t understand how fast or slow a relationship to go. The moment he spotted you, you were already his in his mind.

✎ When you fall for him despite his masked face and silent behaviors, you adjust and get used to him. After all, he wasn’t bad at all. He’d keep you in his room which was tidy and neat as his mother taught him, he’d make sure you were completely taken care of and he was sweet in his little notes.

✎ Vincent’s handwriting is perfect as he was taught to do. His notes would be a little formal but adorable things to find before he slinks away to his studio. “Hello, Y/N. I hope you are adjusting well. :) I wanted to know what foods you like so I can tell Bo to make them. Please write back before lunchtime.”

✎ When he discovers you were an artist as well, he was giddy and excited! Someone who knew what it was like to cycle through ideas and fixate on a project for hours on end.

✎ His few words he’d speak a day would be regarding your own art. No matter what it was, he’d tell Lester to get you the supplies for it and watch over you as you worked.

✎ His ragged and hoarse voice spoken into your ear. “Beautiful…”

✎ He’d randomly gift mini wax sculptures of your favorite animals each week that he worked on between sculptures. Each one better and better than the last.

✎ Vincent thrives on your praise. Sweet boy can’t help but lower his head and blush under his mask at each compliment.

✎ His favorite thing about morning routines were when you’d touch and brush his hair. The massaging at the scalp and tingly feeling he’d get as the brush ran down his black strands felt all too good. He’d also let you do whatever hairstyle you wanted.

✎ Vincent would draw you constantly in his sketchbook. He has pages and pages of different angles of your face, what clothing you wore on a certain day or how you posed during breakfast.

✎ Any and I mean ANY sketches you give him in return? He’s holding onto it like it’s pure gold. He hangs it in his studio where he’s at the most to view it all the time.

✎ Trusts your critiques and observations more than anyone else’s and often asks for your opinion on his pieces.

✎ Doesn’t believe that you like his face without the mask but when he sees you present him with a sketch of his half-mutilated face, he’s stunned. To see him, the truest version of him, as something you deemed worthy to spend time depicting absolutely melts him. He starts to become more willing to remove his mask around you especially if it means he’ll get more drawings like that.

✎ Bo would want so badly to tease Vincent for how he acts around you since Vincent is absolutely infatuated but Bo and Lester find it adorable and are happy Vincent found someone despite everything.

✎ He would definitely want to do those heart hands or hand holding wax molds with you and keep it on his desk.

Bo Headcanons:

> This man’s perfect woman has to be a bimbo, I’m sorry. Someone who is perfectly stupid to overlook some toxic qualities to him and won’t suspect any of his more… violent hobbies.

> Doesn’t have to be the stereotypical busty, all-pink wearing bimbo but just a pretty but airheaded girl.

> He’d originally plan on killing you when you showed up saying your car broke down. You were pretty but so were some other victims who had come through Ambrose. But that dumb factor? Oh, now he’s all in.

> Absolute charmer and reels you in and away from the rest of your group. He’d keep making up reasons as to why you should stay for longer than lie about where your group went.

> He’d keep you sat in the gas station, seeing you so easily entertained. He’d put on that charming smile and tuck your hair behind your ear. “Seems like everyone left you behind, sweetheart. How about you stay jus’ a bit longer, hm? Still need to fix up that car a’ yours, don’t we?”

> He does absolutely use your ditzy and air-headed nature to his advantage to tease because who is he if not a teasing charmer?

> “Aww, sugar, there ain’t much goin’ on in that pretty little head a’ yours, is there?”

> He has purposefully done something to make you trip so he can catch you and make it into a whole romantic scene.

> Absolutely brags to Vincent and Lester about how perfect his girlfriend is.

> He cannot get enough of you at the end of the day. He may have gone into it looking to just use you but consider yourself a charmer as well because he’s soon completely enraptured.

> He enjoys watching you get ready in the morning. Bo will get distracted himself and end up just watch you do your makeup for ten minutes, admiring how pretty you look for him.

> NOTHING BUT PRINCESS TREATMENT!!! He can be toxic and a tease but he likes to be a gentleman too.

> He’s kneeling to put on your shoes on for you, kissing up your leg as he does. He keeps a hand on your back to guide you as you two walk together. Don’t even think about paying for anything because his hand is already in his pocket, ready to pay.

> Bo spoils you rotten. He can’t help it when you smile so sweetly at him that it’s honestly unfair. Sometimes it’s stuff at the store other times it’s stuff he stole from a victim before they met their end. You wouldn’t know, of course, so it’s always a sweet thing.

> If he’s buying you clothes, he’s picking out the tightest options so he can see your body constantly. He’s already turned on constantly by you but he wants to have you all dolled up for him always.

> Although sometimes it can be annoying to have you be so oblivious, he resists any direct insults or rude names since he knows you’ll take it to heart. He never wants to see you upset.

> He knows how much you love his Southern accent and dials it up to 11 with sweet pet names when he needs you for something.

> “Sweetheart, do me a favor an’ pass me the wrench? S’got the blue handle, honey, you know which one.”

> Favorite thing he’s seen you do is when you stole his clothing and became a mini-Bo. Wearing his hat and a jumpsuit all proud of yourself and he couldn’t help but chuckle and claim you should dress like that more often so people know you’re all his.

⤷ divider credits: @cafekitsune

[lgbtlunaverse]

It seems the dash has been talking about the Lan Xichen - Nie Huaisang post-canon dynamics and it's gotten me thinking about how discussion around post-canon Lan Xichen's absolutely horrendous mental state often center around the question of "who is Lan Xichen angry at and who does he feel guilty about" which, at its worst, seperates into 2 camps where according to one side he feels guilty about not protecting jgy and hates the Nies and, on the other side he has completely flipped on jgy and despises him now while being filled with regret towards both nmj and nhs.

And I dislike both of these takes not just because it often feels like people projecting their own Blorbo opinions onto Lan Xichen which is never a fun time but also because that central question is flawed to begin with. It treats anger and guilt like opposing emotions that can't coexist or, if they do, have to compete until one wins and cancels the other out.

And that's not how that... works.

To be clear, the reason why Lan Xichen is so supremely fucked up at the end of the story is that he believes on some level he fucked over everyone in this situation. And, even more importantly, that even with hindsight he can't actually think of what he should have done instead. Every attempt to do better by one seems to involve fucking over the others even more because these people were in conflict with each other and choosing one would mean standing against another

And none of this would actually stop him from feeling angry at any of them. It's not "who is he angry at and who does he feel guilty about" it's: "he is angry at everyone and feels an immediate and bone deep guilt for daring to think badly of them."

Speaking from personal experience here, but feeling like you're not allowed to be angry at someone because you wronged them really doesn't stop the feeling, it just maks you feel like shit for feeling it. And this is all worsened by the fact that what he's in seclusion for is, at the end of the day, a moral question of what he, Lan Xichen, did wrong and every single emotion serves as further proof of the ways he's failed them.

Is he angry at Jin Guangyao, for killing his oldest friend, using Lan xichen's trust in him to do it, and then lying to him about it and countless other things for a decade when Lan Xichen thought of him as the person he trusted the most in the entire world? Yeah. That's a thing people get angry about! Except Jin Guangyao also saved his life and protected and helped him more times than he can count and never ever hurt him and can Lan Xichen say the same? No. He had to clean A-Yao's blood off Shouyue, he has to be haunted by the fact that if he just hadn't listened to Huaisang- hadn't been just like everyone else, in the end, and believed a lie about Jin Guangyao just to think the worst of him- then Jin Guangyao might still be alive.

Is he angry at Huaisang? For orchestrating the death of his best friend? For making him do it? For knowing what the real cause behind Nie Mingjue's death was and never telling him until he found out in the absolute worst way? Absolutely. But didn't Huaisang hide it from him for a reason? Wasn't it his clan's techniques and his personal faith in Jin Guangyao that cost Huaisang his brother? How dare he demand that Huaisang let him in on the secret of his brother's murderer when Lan Xichen is here wondering about how he should have protected that murderer better!

And I do even think he's angry at Nie Mingjue, sometimes I think it's pretty normal to be angry at your friend for kicking your other friend down the stairs and threatening to kill him, even when you know his mind is being poisoned. And years later the last thing he ever saw of Nie Mingjue was Nie Mingjue's thoughtless corpse coming to kill him before Jin Guangyao pushed him away and then proceeded to graphocally snap Jin Guangyao's neck in front of him. And if what he wants to do is protect Jin Guangyao, shouldn't he be mad at Mingjue? Didn't this whole mess start because Jin Guangyao was afraid Nie Mingjue was going to kill him?

Except holy shit, can you imagine? Lan Xichen feels like he personally has Nie Mingjue's blood on his hands. Your oldest friend is killed in front of you and you happily believe it's an accident for 11 years and now you think you have the right to be mad at him? You watched him get worse as he was being poisoned and attributed it to his illness and not to the techniques stolen from your library with the token you give his murderer. Does he think Nie Mingjue knew who he was in that moment and wanted to kill him? That he blamed Lan Xichen for his death? (For the record, I don't. I don't agree with most of what Lan Xichen thinks about himself, but I've been in a self-blame spiral and I know how it feels)

But what was he supposed to do then? Choose Mingjue's side and let A-Yao die? That's also unacceptable. But so is letting Jin Guangyao get away with it. Every single outcome is unacceptable. And really, if Jin Guangyao felt like he had to kill Nie Mingjue to save himself, when it was Lan Xichen who was supposed to keep the peace between them, isn't that another mark of his failure? That he couldn't protect Jin Guangyao well enough that he felt he had to do something so horrible?

But that's not an answer! He's supposed to know what he should have done different, and all he can come up with is "what you were already doing, but without failing this time" He can't pick a side because that means betrayal, but he's already tried not picking a side and it ended like this! There is no right answer, which can only leave him with the idea that he was simply doomed to hurt the people he loved from the start. No wonder the guy looks like shit when we see him post-canon. They put him in a real life trolley problem and gave him the lever as a souvenir.

[eldritch-spouse]

You were being chased by some demented mushroom chef but you were able to get into this “abandoned” part of the building and the chef randomly stoped chasing you. Unbeknownst to you this section of the building has been “abandoned” because Santi realized to late that he was going into a heat and his perfect match decided to cross the threshold into his “domain” but hey at least you aren’t being butchered by a mushroom.

[You know what this smells like? Apocalypse AU.]

TW: Death; Gore

You have no idea you're in the very epicenter of the entire infection. Aka, quite literally the worst place you could hope to be, though not for the reasons that you'd expect.

When Krulu first came down with an illness he himself could not control, it was anyone's guess what might happen. Most didn't expect planetary contamination. Most didn't even understand what was currently unfolding. On the verge of perishing, weirdly ambivalent to it all, Krulu grants to his workers, what he can't grant to himself- Immunity. The Clergy's Eye is the very building that spawned this life-devouring mess, but also the location where none can catch it. Krulu's carcass lies hidden in its bowels, where no one but his most devout chosen accompanied him to an untimely end.

You don't know any of this. You don't know that the only reason you were able to wander in to begin with is because the protective "curtains" Krulu had over the building all but popped out of existence the moment he ceased to live.

All you know is that this place is brimming with resources, and looks suspiciously well-kept, when everything else around it is dilapidated and covered in contamination agents.

Luck graced you initially. Many of the Clergy members spend a good part of their days entirely inactive, mostly to preserve energy as food runs ever more scarce. But one of these monsters who absolutely can't afford to stay inactive for long is Morell. He's the one organizing hunts, deciding when and where and how- Scraping dishes out of whatever's out there that's minimally edible.

He can't afford to lose any opportunities.

Having a pig walk right into his jaws is just the biggest blessing, so of course he's expending every ounce of energy he has to catch you. Snatch you, wrap his terrifying, shaking hand around one of your soft little joints and crack it to pieces so you'll stop running. He's going to make you last, he's going to take itty bitty pieces, everyone will get the most out of you, yes. He can make it work, you're a true god-send!

Which is why he damn near tears the elevator doors asunder when you manage to dart into it. You may think you'll be safer, but Morell knows you'll just have a less effective end. One of the others will get excited and gut you right then and there, will eat you whole, leave nothing for the others.

What he didn't expect, is that you might end up in the floors Santi has most dominion over. The guest rooms. Over there, could the faintest glimmer of hope be seen?

Santi sleeps in all the beds, particularly the ones he can still smell people on, the ones with traces of use, lying on them like a dragon in a nest of pillows. He subsists on the lust of his coworkers, whenever they're well-fed enough to even experience sexual urges, or when they're just so incredibly fucked up that they'll take any distraction offered to them. He's in a perpetual starved state not too dissimilar from his heats, but increasingly more unbearable.

His coworkers lock him in the guest floors with magical wards and powerful minerals when he becomes too much to handle, but Santi knows those locks aren't impenetrable, he knows they'll fail and flicker eventually, and no one can stop him then.

When he hears you, it feels like a dream. Like he finally croaked and his nightmare continues in whatever rotted afterlife his soul projects. Someone just wandering in, after so long, he spends way too much time stalking after you without doing a thing. It feels too good to be true, especially as you start succumbing to the few pheromones he still has enough energy to pump. To permeate these rooms with.

Malnourished as he is, whether or not you're anyone's match goes entirely unnoticed. You're already enough of a miracle for him. He has plans for you, and they're quite different from Morell's, yes. You won't end up on anyone's plate, but Santi will eat off you selfishly. And as he feeds enough, he'll protect you from the rest, surely.

He can keep you safe, so you'll listen to him, naturally. Otherwise it's certain death for you, love.

By the time you hear the door shut behind you, it's far too late, and Santi has trapped you in one of the guest rooms, looking wild and disheveled beneath a very flimsy attempt to look suave.

Would you sit down please, he'd coax, tracking your every motion when you jumped and shook, I'd like to have a talk with you.

[thedivinetarot]

I'm so sorry for your loss

How does he feel after you blocked him?

☆How to chose the perfect pile for you?

1) Close your eyes.

2) Clear your mind (don't think of anything or anyone).

3) take a deep breathe.

4) Ask the question in your head.

5) Open your eyes, and the picture that you are drawn to the most is your pile.

☆Note:

- Thank you guys for 200 followers, we are growing so fast. I'm grateful to have you guys❤.

- In this reading we are going to reveal how your specific person feel when you blocked them and went no contact with them.

- This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Nothing is set in stone.

Stay safe

Arya❤

Pile 1 - Spell book

How is you current energy?

Pile one are you trying to lose weight for a wedding but obviously it is not working out? I see that you may be on a diet to lose the extra weight and to fit in that beautiful dress you bought but obviously you either not seeing any results or you are not taking the diet seriously. You may be falling at losing this weight. Anyways as a nutrition student I advise you to lower the carb intake but never cut it from your diet. And always remember that you ARE wearing the dress and NOT the dress wearing you. That's a thing, also I see that there's someone who is shaming you for gaining that weight. He might be a man from your family or a man you know? Don't listen to them pile 1. Losing weight needs effort, consistency and finally a lot of patience. You can't lose all that weight in a week or a month! Be patient. I see that this pile is so desperate to lose the weight and they are putting too much pressure on themselves to reach that goal. And if you are not trying to lose the weight. You might be working on a project with someone and that project caused you two to lose your money and now I see that it is going to be a short term money loss. Don't freak out pile one money come and go. You can always ask for help, ask someone to lend you some money. You'll repay them one day when they need it. Another thing I'm picking up on is that this pile are facing financial trouble because of a wedding? You might put too much money and effort into it that now you have a problem with finances?. Okay, the dominant energy on this pile are earth signs (Virgo, Taurus and Capricorn) you might have those placements in your chart or just the dominant element (earth) or dominant planet (Venus, Mercury or Saturn).

Now how does he feel after you blocked him?

So, looking at the cards in front of me this person might have been manipulating you emotionally. The cards also are telling me that he is untrustworthy. So please pile 1 don't fall into that trap again. Do not unblock him. I see that after you blocked him he might got it as a sign to move on from this connection. I see that he is taking his attention and dumping it on someone else. He might be a cancer with gemini placements? Be careful those type of men especially with those placements are super manipulative even if they subconsciously do it. I see that he is asking someone to reach out to you just to know how you are doing. This person is literally a border line psycho😂 I can't. Like he act like he is fine and cool without you but he is still watching your social media or taking the tea on you from a friend of yours or a friend of a friend. Anyways, I see that he is addicted to you. Like even your name make him tremble? I don't know why I got this feeling. He might also was dependent on you emotionally? Like he have dumped all his emotions and trauma into you? Pile 1 dear, he is not worthy of that and our job is not to fix those men. He is like in between two states 1) I should let her go because it is over and the other state is 2) but we could've been good together, there's still things I want to experience with her. Anyways, I see manipulation for some reason. He might manipulated you into thinking something about him that is not exactly the truth. I see that he is being childish of his needs and wants. He is like that baby who want to have his cake and eat it too. You see that person who says that he want a specific type of women but the thought of spending the rest of his life with them terrifies him? You might have his lilith in your sun sign. He is incredibly attracted but afraid of being with you.

Thank you for reading this pile 1. Take care and stay safe❤.

Pile 2 - The burning heart

How is your current energy?

Pile two are you walking away from a friend group? I see that you either walking away from a friend group or leaving an online community. That community might be toxic and it left you unbalanced and insecure? You might have lied to yourself that this community or people are going to make you happy but in fact they made you feel insecure and more triggered? You might be someone who was obsessed of looking like a model or like those IG girls but for some reason as you progressed in that group you started comparing yourself and your life to them? I see you conflicting between you and your inner world and vision but acting happy and positive in front of people. You might also got scammed by them? I see that they were promoting a product that should solve all your problems like magic but then you realize it was a scam? That product may destroyed your skin or gave you breakouts. This pile have water placements (Cancer, Scorpio and pisces) and earth placements (capricorn, virgo and taurus).

How does he feel after you blocked him?

Well, this group is hilarious 😂. I think he didn't know that you blocked him so he kept double texting you and there was no reply so he felt like he f up. I see that if this person is living in the same place as you or the same city he might actually take action to come in and see you. And if not then he felt incredibly confused and insecure. I feel like he might be the type of person that if he faced rejection or a block he let all his previous trauma resurface again and blame himself without actually changing. But hey, let's be honest those men demand you to change but he is literally rotten in his own self with his bad habits and emotional immaturity. I see that this person was eager to know you. Have you dated him pile 2? I don't see anything serious to be honest. It looks like a date or a hookup but not really a serious lover or a partner. He feels so insecure and not stable. He perhaps, wanted to give this connection a shot but was surprised by getting blocked? Lol. I can't it is so funny. Sorry pile 2, I think you should clarify things with him. Wait I will pull a couple of cards to see his energy. He might be a young adult, possibly between 20 and 29? I see that he tried to achieve success multiple times but that didn't really happen. He might opened or worked a series of jobs or businesses/projects but none of them worked. I see that he lied about being happy away from you but he is not. He really wanted this partnership he is so serious omg. Well, I think it is up to you if you want to pursue anything further with him but he is broke sooo it is up to you pile 2, if you want to keep in touch with him or unblock him. I don't know why I keep picturing a black man with braids. He might like wearing white clothes.

Thank you for reading pile 2, stay safe and take care ❤.

Pile 3 - Love magic book

How is your current energy?

I see that this pile are finally seeing the fruits of their labor. I see that pile 3 have been doing alot of inner work and practicing self care. I see that you guys might have realized the old patterns that kept you stuck. I see a lot of inner transformation. You may finally broke free from abusive partner/family or friendships. I see that the chapter you are closing made you insecure about moving on with your life. You may be scared and terrified to take action in your current circumstances. The cards are telling me you don't have the courage yet to approach life in a more optimistic way. I see that this pile are being faced with many decisions to make and there's a lot of opportunities that will give you the abundance you need. I see that this pile are not afraid to face their inner demons. Like as I mentioned above, you might started going to therapy or doing shadow work to deal with the darker side of yourself. This pile’s energy is so internal. I don't see you doing anything to be specific, I see you doing the mundane and being afraid to take higher risks. Guys I felt anxious all of sudden. Have you been dealing with anxiety? If you might be then I asked the cards on how to deal with it and they told me that you need to live in the present moment. Stop living in the future, what will happen will happen and you have no control over the outcome. The cards are encouraging you to embrace the moment and enjoy the blessings from the universe. I see that this pile will have an opportunity to improve their life. I see a job opportunity coming in for you and it will make you so happy. Guys I think life is not that serious so please don't overthink the stuff that you cannot control. Okay? Live your life guys. Anyways, I see a strong uranus and pluto energy. You might have those two planets dominant in your chart or you might be an aquarius, cancer or scorpio. That's what I'm picking up on. You don't have to have those placements if the description fit you correctly.

How does he feel after you blocked him?

I see that your person is practical and stubborn. He might be an aquarius, capricorn or have his sun in the 10th or 11th house in his chart. This person is refusing letting you go. The cards are all pointing to the opposite direction, I see that this person is so attached to you like a puppy. This person is boiling inside, his blood is on fire. I feel like he is feeling stuck and frustrated. He might have a lot of female friends or have a lot of sisters or female siblings. Whatever the case he is asking them to help him of his situation or just spending time with them to get over you. I think that he think what is between you two is not done or finished. He is so fixated on you. I feel like after you left he got depressed and sad. I feel like I'm losing hope. This person keeps himself dissociated by imagination. He keep imagining you two together. He didn't expect you to block him. I don't really see any movement, he is not moving at all. And if you are asking about him taking action towards you I don't see that happening honestly. He is just trapped in his head. He might have an IXXJ mbti (ISTJ,ISFJ, INTJ, INFJ)?. This person is not happy of how things are he is still thinking about you. I heard the phrase "you never left my mind/ imagination". I see that instead of healing and moving on he is distracting himself even more.

Pile 4 - The 3 of swords card

How is your current energy?

Honey why are sad? He doesn't deserve it. I feel like this pile is disappointed by someone they felt a connection with. This person might crossed your boundaries and even was rude to you. I don't really feel like you know this person well, like you see when we meet someone briefly and they leave quite a strong impression on us. I see that you expect this person to treat you in a way and unfortunately you got disappointed. I see that this person did not respect your privacy or personal space. I feel like you might have problem socializing with other? Or social anxiety? And that person was the last straw? Anyways give yourself some time to heal from that and move on. I feel like this pile are trying to be more courageous but they are overthinking and scared. You might be someone who do not trust others and feel so overwhelmed by people. I pulled a card for advice and they are telling you to step into your power, they are telling me that you are strong pile 4. You have this duality to you and if it is not about duality then you can switch masculine and feminine energy within you quite easily. Also trust your intuition. I feel like you have a female figure in your life who is very spiritual and connected to earth. Ask her for help and she will gladly help you. This is your pile if you have leo placements or fire placements in general. I see mars as a dominant planet too. So take what resonates.

How does he feel after you blocked him?

Well, I have two scenario cases in my head. The cards are telling me that he already moved on when you blocked him. He might have had a crush on someone so it was easy for him to move into that. I see that he still watch your social media but BUUT out of curiosity not love or because he want you back. The other case scenario is; he might be working on himself to manifest you. I see that this person is so patient and calculated. He might have other life responsibilities, this person might be old like between 25 and 35. I'm not getting any teenage vibes from this group. What he felt when you blocked him was anxiety and longing? You see those psycho people who do not understand themselves? So they confuse others? He might felt like it is time to move on emotionally but mentally he sometimes long and think about you. He doesn't really understand his emotions. He keeps them to himself. This person is done I'm not seeing any movement but what I do see is thinking deeply about you and unfortunately; his thoughts are manifesting or reaching you. He might send you messages telepathically? I don't know if you believe in telepathy, but after all it is physics and spirituality. I mean our thoughts are patterns and they have vibrations and frequencies so yes it can move from one person to another. If this person keep popping on your mind then he is manifesting you.

Thank you for reading this pile 4. Stay safe❤.

Post date: 31st/Aug/2024- Sat

*Feedback is appreciated

[chochuuya]

his muse.

fashion designer mitsuya x reader

disclaimers: slight angst, tension, lots of back and forth.. possessive mitsuya yup yup |･ω･)

word count: 685

“why?” mitsuya asks, not looking up from his sewing machine. “you’re my model. i’m not fighting for your time with another man (y/n).”

he’s always had an obsession with beautiful things. you’re no exception, so you can’t leave him.

all of his designs are catered to you. when he sees you smile, or hears you laugh, he’s already sketching another. he shuts the machine off, looking at you.

“do you not like the clothes i make anymore?” he asks, brows furrowing. because why else would you leave?

you chew your bottom lip as you fidget on your hands. it’s always nerve wracking to talk to mitsuya when he’s tense.

“it’s nothing like that, takashi. trust me, your designs are par to none! it’s just that.. i want to dress more and for others too? i am still your model, yes but i’m just signing up for more houses.”

he frowns.

“my designs are for you and you alone. we established this (y/n).”

you know mitsuya is stubborn, and once he gets an idea into his head, it doesn’t budge easily. he takes his designs seriously and doesn’t like to see his models modelling for other designers. the thought of you modelling for anyone else makes him feel jealous and angry, and he struggles to mask it.

you shake your head in protest.

“takashi. of course you had and have support me enough up to this point, but i just thought i could get more experience if i get myself out there more you know?” you reasoned.

“you don’t need to get more experience, you’re perfect!” he exclaims with eyes pleading.

“my designs are made with you in mind (y/n), and they look best on you! the other designers won’t be able to replicate my work. they’ll probably mess it all up.” mitsuya continues, “you could ruin your reputation modelling for someone else, no one would want your image on their projects anymore!”

he stops, breathless for a few seconds.

“you’re my muse..” he says quietly. “you’re all i’ve got, don’t you see that?”

you sighed in defeat.

“how am i supposed to grow as a model when i’m not getting out of my comfort zone, takashi? i admire you and your talented quality crafts but please, try to understand me!”

he glares at you, anger in his eyes.

“i don’t want you to grow, (y/n)!" he shouts.

“i want you to be mine and only mine. if you can't understand that then- then-" he stops himself before he gets too carried away.

“i understand that you have your own goals and aspirations but i’d rather you keep me in mind too.”

he steps back, breathing rapidly.

“i’m sorry, i- i shouldn’t have yelled.” he pauses, trying to get ahold of his emotions.

“you have other models too, mitsuya..”

“but i want you to be my main model.” he says, a hint of pleading in his voice.

“you’re my best, and i can help you far better than anyone else ever could. you’re my muse and inspiration. i just- i don’t want that to change.” he added.

you thought of what he said so, there was silence for a mere moment before you break the ice.

“there’s something else you’re not telling me. i know you.” you said with your arms crossed.

he narrows his eyes at you, not liking being accused of hiding something.

“and what do you think that is?” mitsuya asks icily. he wants to hear what you think it is, but won’t admit it just yet.

“i don’t know. you tell me.”

mitsuya is silent for a moment, debating over whether or not to let you in on his secret. his eyes scan your face, trying to gauge your trustworthiness. you’d never betrayed his trust before, so why not now?

finally, he speaks, his voice softer.

“i didn’t want to tell you because i knew you’d be upset. but... i’m in love with you (y/n)." mitsuya says quietly, looking at you.

“i’ve been in love with you for years.”

...

maybe hakkai and yuzuha should come by another day.

please do not steal, copy, translate, repost to other sites or claim my writings as your own. plagiarism is real!

ngl that one panel where he fixes takemichi's suit is just *nosebleeds* (＿ ＿*) anyway, i hope you like this one! reblogs & likes are vv appreciated ♡

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

If you sometimes come across the term “banned books” but don’t really know what it means, here’s a simple little introduction to the topic: 

“Banned books” refers to books that have been censored or removed from libraries, schools, or bookstores due to objections from certain groups or individuals.

When we read that definition, I think a really common and understandable response is: „whoa, okay, these must be really bad books full of dangerous ideas!“… and in some way, that’s true. 

Because, you see, to someone with a homophobic worldview, any book with a gay character is really bad and dangerous. And to a child abuser, any book that educates children on consent is really bad and dangerous. 

Among the top reasons for book bans are lgbt+ content, sexual content (including sexual education or education on sexual abuse), themes of racism and themes like drug use or addiction. Over the years, many books with significant cultural and educational value have faced bans - and this continues to be an issue all around the world, including in the US. 

When books are banned, it restricts the access to information people (including kids and teenagers) need to understand themselves and others. This negatively affects queer people and other marginalized groups (for example people of color or disabled people) but it also impacts everyone else. Diversity in literature enriches our understanding of the diversity of real life. It helps to build empathy, compassion, kindness and understanding. Access to different stories and viewpoints is vital for an inclusive society. 

Censoring queer books in particular also normalizes the message that queer experiences are inappropriate or “dirty” - which, again, is really beneficial to homophobes and transphobes. If it feels safe for them to say that queer books harm children, it paves the way for all other kinds of discrimination and harassment of queer people. 

Now you may think “this all makes sense when it comes to books with gay characters! But didn’t you also mention stuff like sexual abuse and addiction and racism up there? These are indeed bad and dangerous things!” 

I think this is another really common thought. These things happen in real life and it can be uncomfortable to even think about them. But that’s precisely why we need books about those “uncomfortable” topics! 

We may not like the idea that a child hears about racism or abuse - but in a world where kids can experience racism and abuse, they also need to be able to read about racism and abuse. They need to be able to say “this is what’s happening to me and this is not okay”. We need to be able to name bad things when they happen to us or when we witness them happening to others. We need an understanding of and a language for bad things. That’s the only way to fight the bad things. 

Another thought you may have is “Okay, and now what? I don’t have the power to do anything about all this anyway”, and honestly I wouldn’t blame you for that one either. Hearing about book bans (on top of all the other negative stuff we hear about) can feel really depressing. But there are things you can do to push back and help keep diverse stories accessible - even if you are young or have limited resources! 

Some ideas: 

use your public library (many public libraries actively resist censorship and make banned books available!) 

use a digital library (services like Libby and Project Gutenberg offer free access to many books) 

look out for online petitions or letter-writing campaigns by organizations that oppose book bans (for example PEN in America) 

look up if there are any “little free libraries” in your area (free book-sharing box operating on the honor system: anyone can take or leave a book for no cost) 

look up if there are any book swapping events in your area 

take part in reading groups, book clubs etc. (either in person or online) 

And of course the big one: if you can afford to buy books - make a point to buy banned books (or more generally, queer books and books from marginalized authors and books on topics that frequently get banned)! As a starting point, you can find lists of banned books online. Wikipedia has one, for example. 

If you have a bigger budget, you could even buy multiple copies and put some in your local “little free library” or bring them to book-swapping events or gift them to friends etc! (You could also ask your local public library (or school library or prison library or youth center or women’s shelter etc) if they take book donations, but you may want to hold off on buying before they say yes - not all of them can accept donations!).

Happy reading and resisting!

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[away-ward]

i cannot for the life of me make a decision about this, so do you have any headcanons on opinions on what banks would've been like if she had gone to high school ?? what tropes or clichés she would've been closest to embodying ?? because we know em was a nerd, that winter struggled for the obvious reasons but ultimately was fine in hs and fairly normal, rika was decently popular but far from the cheerleader level... but banks, i can't place what she would've been like if she'd gone to high school. we know she's very smart, but i can't see her as someone holed up in a library. then, we can also probably deduce that if she had gone to high school, damon would've been crazy protective but i still can't really make a set decision on much else regarding how banks' storyline/personality would've gone if she did indeed attend Thunder Bay prep or some other high school, minus these small details.

i do think she & emory would've got on like a house on fire if she attended TBP as they would've been in the same grade and probably had similar opinions on high school hierarchy and the horsemen and general thunder bay weirdness and extravagancy. they would've dissed people so thoroughly and easily with their quips and banter, for sure.

Ohh I have thought about this.

It can go so many ways, because as same with Emory, the debate is "was she naturally someone different and the circumstances made her this way? Or is it that she survived the circumstances because this is who she is naturally?"

Did Banks do so well in Gabriel's house because that's who she is, or did being in that house make her that way. In Hideaway, she mentions that she never cut her long hair because it was the last part of "Nikova." Additionally, her struggle with Damon is wanting to be her own person and to experience things other teenagers - normal teenagers - experience. But if she were a normal teenager, would she still value those experiences, or would they be mundane and expected?

I chose to think High School AU Banks would fall somewhere in the middle. She'd still be a bit of a tom-boy, and a bit of a rebel. In my AUs, she still lives with Lucinda, but Damon wants her close, so Gabriel pays for her to attend TBP. She's smart, but not without effort. She's not afraid to get involved throw down if she sees something she doesn't like. She's careful, though, and never throws the first punch, so she can always claim self-defense. It's helpful that she's a bit of a sarcastic smart ass and naturally skilled at goading people.

In school, she'd appear to be generally nonchalant about stuff, but she actually has a lot of opinions. It comes as a surprise to the teachers, who were not expecting Damon Torrance's younger sister to be so... outspoken. And argumentative.

Having a bit more freedom, and hopefully a healthy relationship with her brother, she’d probably be known for fighting with Damon in the halls over how protective he is. Like, he can’t even let her project partner talk to her without going all big brother on her.

Seriously, get a life, dude. Maybe if you had as much confidence talking to your little dancer friend as you do telling me what to do, you’d actually have a girlfriend. Newsflash, bro, there are certain things I can’t and won’t do for you.

I don’t see her wanting to participate in any extracurricular activities, but with a school like Thunder Bay Prep, it would probably be expected. I can’t see her wanting to be on a team, so Girl’s Basketball probably isn’t a good match…

Oh. You know, with her being a bit of a sleuth in Hideaway and tailing Kai to get his routine, she’d probably make a good Yearbook photographer. Or maybe working on their school paper. Maybe something along those lines that keeps her out of the spotlight. Though, I don't know what Banks would want to do growing up. Maybe she does go into student government, wanting to make changes that actually make sense and benefit the students, instead of planting a tree as the senior gift for the fifth year in a row (do these people even know what they could do with this much money, or do they only know how to add when it's involving cases of beer and tits?). Maybe she does it because she's tired of seeing Chloe get everything and wanted to challenge her, and then sort of accidentally ended up class president.

Actually, I like that...Emory makes fun of her for it all the time.

Speaking of Emory, they are best friends. Both come from more humble backgrounds, which would naturally make them targets for bullies, but not this time. Because the whole school knows wherever Emory goes, Banks is close by. And wherever Banks is, Damon is close by. And wherever Damon is, the Horsemen are close by. Not to mention, Will is a horseman, and he’s always close to wherever Emory is…

Not that Banks and Em need them. They're pretty good with the tongue lashings, themselves.

Without a doubt, Banks goes to every single one of Emmy’s activities to show support. She hangs out when Emmy’s working on her projects, and helps when she needs a hand. They both have a crush on a Horseman, but they only talk (read: tease each other) about that when they can guarantee no one can hear them.

I headcanon Banks, Emmy, and Elle are a pretty solid trio. Emmy's smart and artsy, Elle's a soft-hearted romantic, always talking about dating but never taking her own advice, and Banks plays the rebel without a cause who loves her two friends.

Anyway, have some pics that would definitely be in Banks' friend's (so Emmy and Elle) camera roll.

that last one's from Banks of will and emmy. (i've never seen love, rosie, so I don't know context. but I know in a willemmy high school au that has yet to be written, this scene will happen)

Let me know what you think! Or if my headcanons helped inspire some of yours. This was really fun, thanks for the ask.

[iwillhaveamoonbase]

For those new to AO3

Authors can see your bookmarks as a default. You have to mark them as private if you don't want authors to see them. There is an argument that bookmarks are a reader's space, but if you don't want authors to see what you are saying, make the bookmark private.

There is no algorithm on AO3. Seriously. It does not exist. Sorting by kudos, comments, length, etc. is the closest thing you will get. It is very much a curate your experience situation. Embrace it because you never know what gems you'll find if you give less popular fics a chance.

Depending on who you ask, kudos are not a good metric to judge a fic on anymore. As to if they ever were is, again, depending on who you ask. There is a spider/web crawler (we call it the kudos bot) who gives a bunch of guest kudos to fics. We cannot summon it and we cannot remove the kudos. At best, we can set our fics to private. So, if you see a fic with way more kudos than views, that's why. Many of us do not want these kudos, but we have to live with them.

Concrit (constructive criticism) is divisive because this is a hobby for many people. There is a culture on AO3 for concrit to be opt-in instead of opt-out, but not everyone subscribes to that. If you do not see an author's note saying concrit is OK, you can ask if it's OK. If they don't say anything, take it as a 'no'. If the author is cool with concrit, great. Concrit away.

Asking for updates is also divisive. Some people want/need that encouragement and some don't. Leaving a polite 'can't wait for the next chapter' is totally fine. If you ask for an update and the author asks you not to, please respect their wishes. You don't know what else is going on behind that screen. We all use fic for our own reasons and it's impossible to tell if that was someone's project to forget about things that they don't want to deal with.

There is a difference between A/B and A&B. A/B is for shipping and A&B is for non-shipping relationships (such as platonic and familial relationships or bullying or work situations). Please tag accordingly and please do not accuse people of writing shippy fic when they tagged it A&B.

Comment totals on AO3 count author responses. It doesn't make a distinction between a response and a new comment thread. Comment thread counts are in the author's stats page only available to them. Authors are not inflating their comment counts by responding to get more views. They are just trying to interact with people who support them.

Not all authors respond to comments. For many older fans, this can be due to years of harassment in fandom, witnessing friends being harassed, not having time, etc. etc. Their reasons are their own and it does not mean you are a bad person or said something wrong if they don't respond to you nor does it say anything about them. Authors do not owe you interaction just as you do not owe them comments. It's your prerogative if you only want to leave comments on fics where the author answers back, but it does not mean the author isn't grateful or doesn't care. You do not know what else is going on.

You cannot take a kudos back. Seriously. It's permanent. If that means you want to wait until a fic is finished to leave a kudos, that's totally fine. To authors, if you see a bunch of comments and views, but few kudos, this is probably the reason. It does not mean your fic is bad; it just means readers are holding kudos back until the fic is finished, which is perfectly legitimate.

Please read author's notes at the beginning and end of chapter updates. This is where authors are The Most Likely to tell you if there has been a change in their update schedule, if they made changes to previous chapters, explained a certain choice they made, etc. Same with checking the tags thoroughly before reading a fic. Most authors take tagging and warning/updating readers very seriously and the spaces they can do it in are the author's notes and the tags.

Because there are so many people from so many cultures on AO3, the categorizing of fics may not be totally even across the board. Tagging might have discrepancies. For instance: some people might view smut as M and not E depending on the level of detail; some might even view it as T. Please exercise caution and look at tags carefully when clicking on a fic. If you come across something you do not like, the back button is always an option.

There is a hard limit of 75 tags on fics, so not all characters that appear in a fic are likely to be tagged. For many of us, we only tag major players, major ships/&-relationships, and background relationships as a courtesy and save the rest of our tags for known triggers and making it easier for people to find our fics by tagging the tropes we use and certain parts of the content (such as 'AU where A loses their voice').

If you hate a character or a ship or a certain trope or have certain triggers, there is nothing wrong with asking a fandom friend for recommendations. If anything, we probably should bring back fic rec lists and you could be doing an amazing service for fandom if you start making one based on your preferences. Don't rely purely on other platforms to lead you to amazing fics; you never know how that person is finding fics and they could be missing out on some really amazing ones.

AO3 currently does not have a messaging system and many users prefer it that way. I am not positive what the future holds, but if any author wants you to get in contact, they will probably leave other socials in their notes or on their profile. They might even tell you to contact them in a comment response. You can absolutely respond to them on other social media platforms and talk fics or art or fandom. The AO3 lack of messaging is a comfort for many people because of previous experiences regarding harassment and, for some, that's the closest thing to a social media that they have. Some fandoms are more than 40 years old and not all of it has been positive for everyone.

Please do not leave 'placeholder' ideas in the fic tags. By this I mean, 'here's an idea I plan to write. Let me know if you like it!' and there's one or two sentences but no actual fic. AO3 is not social media. You can be reported for this and the post taken down as per AO3's guidelines. Fic, meta, and art are welcome on AO3. A plan to write a fic is not.

Lastly, please enjoy your time on AO3. It is an archive that dedicates itself to preserving fandom works, whether we agree with those works or not.

[brainrot-jikan]

im not the biggest alhaitham/kaveh shipper (because im a rare pair ho) but it seems to me that in alhaitham/kaveh getting-together fics tend to be... unequal.

the beautiful thing about alhaitham and kaveh is that they're both equally right and equally wrong and equally dicks about it. but the writers for alhaitham/kaveh much more frequently seem to give alhaitham the burden change (the burden of the character flaw) instead of kaveh.

in any good character arc, the main character has a fatal flaw or misconception, and by the end of that arc they have addressed that flaw in some definitive way. scrooge was a scrooge and learned that being that way was detrimental; merlin from finding nemo was overprotective to a fault and had to learn that he couldn't (and shouldn't) control everything and to let go; the wolf from little red riding hood learns that you should stop while you're ahead.

stories centering around romance tend to lean heavily on character arcs, which makes sense. and since romance generally requires two individuals to be vulnerable and open and emotional with each other, it makes double sense that alhaitham/kaveh authors zoom straight into alhaitham's lack of emotional vulnerability.

this bothers me.

in society, individuals are expected to experience and present emotions in a specific way. if someone dies, you cry. if someone smiles at you, you smile back. if you're at a party, you're supposed to be having fun. if you don't do these things, you're seen as impolite at best and a inhuman freak at worst. when these behaviors are frequent it's often viewed as emotional immaturity, or a lack of ability to feel at all. the inability or lack of willingness to conform to societies emotional expectations of you is seen as a flaw and a reason for exclusion.

alhaitham is canonically disliked and avoided for being the way he is. he prefers it this way, but that doesn't mean the people perpetuating this avoidance are in the right. they are the societal pressure to conform that alhaitham blows off. alhaitham could be the way he is for a lot of reasons: avoidant attachment style, trauma, following someone else's example (eg. his grandmother), or just his base personality. it doesn't MATTER. he is the way he is. kaveh having to accept that should be part of the story.

putting the burden of the fatal flaw on alhaitham, making the way alhaitham treats kaveh and the people around him the problem, feels invalidating. it implies heavily that alhaitham's way of interfacing with the world, alhaitham's very SELF, is incorrect. my suggestion is to flip a larger portion of that burden onto kaveh. kaveh 👏 character 👏 arcs 👏

some examples/recommendations:

- make kaveh project his insecurities onto other people but especially onto alhaitham; he's overly reliant on other people for his own self worth, and he perceives alhaitham's lack of positive feedback as a direct reflection of how alhaitham feels about him. but learns along the way that alhaitham doesn't hate him, kaveh's actual struggle is with hating himself and being unable to his own self as worthy of love. maybe throw in how you are responsible for your own recovery, other people can help but you can't rely on them to carry you through self actualization.

- or, kaveh tries to make alhaitham behave more like a "normal" person, to be more pleasant and emotive and forthcoming, and then realizes he's in the wrong for trying to make alhaitham into something he's not, possibly for all the wrong reasons (not because he likes alhaitham better like that, but bc society says that's healthier and a better/more conforming way to be)

- or you could go ahead make alhaitham's issues the main problem but they're too complicated to overcome in a short period of time, so kaveh has to accept alhaitham is doing his best in his own way and not push for unrealistic and unhealthy changes. he could alter his own behavior to give alhaitham space and time and a safe place to land.

that got sappy so it's past time for me to dip out. go forth and ship things; but maybe consider letting alhaitham be a rude stone-faced bastard if he wants to be.

[rainstormwrite]

The new update is now public.

Hello again, people!

That's it. This is the day.

The new update is now public.

(You're required to start a new playthrough if you don't want any game-breaking bugs, by the way.)

What's done:

All three routes are finished.

All the POVs are rewritten to be in the third person (they actually feel way better than I thought they would be).

Some parts of the first fight scene are fixed and clarified.

Some pronoun bugs are fixed.

What's planned:

…

Writing another update, obviously.

Word count:

Including command lines: 271245 Excluding command lines: 260837

But, I would ask you to temper your expectations in terms of the new content's single playthrough length. I'm going to paraphrase this from my previous post: the actual amount of content that was added with this new update is somewhere between 15 to 25 pages (approximately).

Even though the word count increased from 53k to 260k, the only event to happen in this update is one conversation/confrontation (ridiculous, I know). This is primarily due to the overwhelming amount of variable text that changes depending on your earlier choices and due to the number of routes you can take. If you're interested in the reasons for me to decide to do that, check out my previous post.

So, basically, each reader will experience the new content very differently but may not get as much satisfaction due to its shortness. If that is the case, I can only suggest you make another playthrough with different choices, but, if that's not your cup of tea, I would totally understand. But, overall, the game is very… how do I put it..? Multiple-playthroughs-friendly, I'd say.

Safe to say, the update will be incredibly polarizing, no doubt, but I'm always open to feedback.

And, even though I haven't found any bugs or inconsistencies, I am obviously aware that someone else may find them, so, if you are that someone, please report the bugs to me.

I think that's all regarding the update itself, so go ahead and play it. Hope you will like it!

PLAY THE UPDATE

Now, onto other interesting things…

From this point onward, I'm starting to take writing seriously, and that's why I've finally decided to open my Patreon page.

I've made a free introductory post there that explains what I'll be offering, but, right off the bat, I want to tell you that I can't offer you things that other creators are usually offering: Q&As and What-if scenarios. If we're talking about Q&As, I don't want to do them because I consider mystery to be a big part of my work, so I don't really want to wiggle around every question that people will ask me because it won't be fair to them and won't feel good to me. As for What-if scenarios, I don't want to write out some hypothetical scenarios when I can spend that time to progress the plot forward in the actual story. And, trust me, if I'm going to spread my attention too thin, I'm never going to finish this project… And I don't think you and I want that.

What I will provide, however, are progress updates, sneak peeks, early access, and monthly side stories, which the community will be able to choose by voting.

So, I'd advise you to read through the new update first, decide whether you're willing to put up with my approach to the content, and then consider subscribing if what I offer on Patreon is enough for you. If, after all that, you decide to become a member, I'll be very grateful to you. If not, I will still appreciate you being interested in my work and taking the time to read through it.

Thanks for tuning in, and have a pleasant day or a peaceful night!