#like it’s 7 30 am what do I even do
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i only slept like 6-7 hours but I feel so awake and refreshed like… is this what it means to not have a care in the world <3 yes I got no money atm but I don’t have to work for the next few weeks and I feel so at peace about it lol
#like it’s 7 30 am what do I even do#I’m just kinda laying here waiting for my mama to wake up so we can go to the plaza lol#i woild make breakfast but we don’t really got eggs or pans or anything 😭#i thinkkkk we migjt have cereal and milk but that’s about it l#oughhhh I wanna hot chocolate so bad actually#callate guero#though I do hope the commission money I still have is enough to last me for the 3 weeks I’m here urgh </3
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed
my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.
and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.
anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,
I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me
im going by metro which is quite safe
im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18
she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)
anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm
so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?
anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".
and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.
#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play#till 10:30 at night#she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8#this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house#and now that my brother is in class 7#he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30#he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like#one sentence#yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke#up in the house its all my fault#this is just so damn unfair#like literally insulting#im not a child what is her problem#what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up#my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play#5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30#and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude#with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play#im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi#after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other#she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit#and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12#its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how#like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO#istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy#groceries#i can cycle
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#VENT#VENT TAGS AHEAD !!#so the job is...awful.#i applied for 20-25 hours#they asked if i could do 30#and now theyre pushing me into 40.#i didn't realize that when i agreed to 30 that was NOT binding (i should have known because it wasn't in my job offer. but i am 19 and--#ive never had a job offer letter before. even tho this is just retail)#and i can't adjust my availability for 90 days.#and since i put full availability expecting 25 hours max#now i have FULL 24/7 AVAILABILITY ON FILE for three months at least#and i have no idea what to do because this means i cant commit to any classes coming up for college#but ive been job hubting for months and barely got anything#and if i lose the job i have to move back in with my dad which is almost worse#whats wirse is my leader/boss is so mean. im not saying this lightly#i dont want to get into it but im barely a week in and he's made disrespectful and pushy comments towards me#has basically told me to stay late (which theoretically i cluld say no; but im still on my three months of 'we will fire you if we want to'#and like i said. need the job.#so he told me to stay late knowing i cant really say no#he's given me a frankly absurd amount of work (instock and i get carts filled woth 2-3x their max capacity unorganized and dangerously--#overloaded) and then he pushes me and snaps at me to get it done in an absurdly short timeframe while im still in TRAINING#im afab and present femme as i haven't transitioned irl and he is so ragingly sexist#he often just refers to me and the other girl being trained as 'girl' or 'that girl#and to top it all off#i took this job over a second interview at a place i really liked#because i thought the hours at this olace would be more consistent#nope! full time! surprise!!#and now im kicking myself so fucking hard over it. i feel like i fucked up so hard#and my friend i moved here with has been home for two months and will be this month so im just. alone. and i don't really have anyone to#turn to. im just so very stressed and tired and lonely
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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end
#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask#december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery#and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc#and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh#every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night#oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes#and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester#and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu#oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well#and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite “appointments” i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also#pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc#so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal#honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know#like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc#but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated#also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm#is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is#incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship#so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year#at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately#i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new#my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper#and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been#like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare#idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling#and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa
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this is how we are doing
#chatterye#i'm going to kill this program if they make me wait even after 6 hours have passed#they're like making me wait incredibly long times every single fucking slide#i looked at 4 signs for 1 whole minute like 7 times#IN A ROW#i am aware the state of texas requires you to do this for at least 6 hours which is what they're going for#BUT as soon as those 6 hours are up you better let me free reign because they be out here#forcing me to spend literally 1:30 on a chart#that takes 3 seconds to look at#losing my mind#speedrunning this mf as fast as it will let me
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#GAGGGEDDDDDD#yay omg yay:)#guys i am going to die#oct 27 2024#no cosnlike. in dreams or whatever WHATEVER#sick to my stomach i've literally been hallucinating delusional etc#u don't understand i'm going to die#LIKE FAVORITE PERSON EVER SORRY#the way i cross my sevens and z's and don't leave a space for the smiley face :|#hope she never knows how obsessedddd :)#oct 28 2024#:| idk it's the only thing keeping me going but also i survived six months#oct 29 2024#giggling twirling my hair kicking my heels looking at my phone get a grip...#. no bc my brain#i am having a terrible day but i love her#being delusional works!#i am SO EXCITED lutkkenekenfksnfn i am so excited i've missed her so much#actually soooo sick and twisted the way my irl ummm what do you call... emotional support older white women are actually the best huggers in#the world like it's not my fault#lik i don't i don't i do not i donut even care !#no thoughts head empty#stoppp cos like building it up in my head based on the past etc etc ...... but it always lives up 2 it & more!#oct 30 2024#cointinuing to be insane 🙏#idk there is something so tender ............#waaaah ok waaaaaaaaaaah i cant#just want to go HOME#want to swim in prelude 4ever#girl who is so so tired and just wants it to be 7:30 east
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Oh my god. You know it’s getting bad when you start doing things you don’t even want to do to procrastinate on something you really do want to do.
It would be one thing if it were something like a hobby; but the thing I want to do is also extremely necessary to my life.
#Hhhhhhngh#for three weeks I’ve been doing this#I’ve had all the time in the world#and I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m doing this out of a subconscious desire to prove to myself that I’m actually fucked up in the head#Which is already proof enough that I have that desire in the first place; but I keep going because it’s not enough#I only ever feel like I need care when I’m at my absolute worst#And suddenly after being so exhausted that I fell asleep at 7:00 some days; I’m staying up until 2:30 AM and waking up at 8:00???#and I feel fine and perfectly awake; but still can’t manage to get myself out of bed until 10:00 because Comfy#I sit and I read for an hour; then I go on my phone and emerge at 5:00 PM#If I go in the bathroom it takes forever to get back out because I end up talking to myself in the mirror about god knows what#I feel like I need some kind of… idk… very strong stimulant in me so I can actually care about things#not that stimulants work like that; but I need to have some kind of catastrophic life event… to get beaten up or something#something to put pure fear and concern in my veins#It is summer and there is almost no chance of me getting kicked or catching a football in the wrong place#and I don’t have to run right now either#I could do something#I know how#But even that is a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation; because that ALSO makes me not want to do things#At least then I’d have a palpable (literally) excuse but uh…. I’m still kind of getting over the last time#I am on my phone all day and I recognize that’s bad; but the thing I need to do is to send an email… which is on my phone; so there’s that#hypocritical#idk there’s something about using limited supplies to deal with a problem that needs more and hoping for the best#it excites me#Makes me feel like a big boy who can handle serious situations#But if I create the problem then it means nothing except that I cannot handle problems at all#I should not have all the responsibilities I do because I am not entirely in my right mind#I am thinking about it though#It’s tempting#get behind me satan
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Dating advice for singles for dating intentionally is so... I can't say it's bad advice per se, because it may actually help people who have had long relationships and are newly single but it's so badly applied to someone who's having a hard time finding that one relationship in the first place.
"Live your life as if you're self content and will never find a partner" cool! Been doing that since I was 18! I have a very fulfilled life with friends and activities and all. I'm perfectly content in my own company. Where is my life-mandated boyfriend now /sarc
Jokes aside I am a little jaded about this whole thing so don't mind me, I just find that while algorithms have picked up on my chronic singleness, they didn't pick up on the right reasons so. I get advice that's like "you're one step ahead of me dude" lmao
Y'all get one nero hates dating post sometimes as a treat
#nero's random thoughts#i will laugh at these posts when I'm finally in the arms of a man I'm in love with or something but in the meantime#cue oppossum yelling#what's even scarier to me is the thought that I'd be 30+ and still as inexperienced as i am now 😔#nothing wrong with that but it's not what i want and it's scary#like#8-7+ years more of this shit??? no fucking way i can't do that
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look i think the thing people forget is that My Hero Academia is not a typical shounen. Its purposeful. Its well written. Horikoshi does not DO throw away plot-lines. He doesn't ignore plot holes. Over the past 10 years he has proven, time and time and TIME again that this is an incredibly thought out, narrative-driven brilliant story that has taken popular tropes and preconceptions and turned them on their head.
Have a little faith.
#imagine you're in a horikoshi dick-riding competition and you're up against me#but seriously. with the most recent few chapters i'm continuing to be in AWE of what he's revealing and how he's executing it#so many shounens are like: i'm gonna put my guy in a situation!#haha now i'll put him in another situation! forget about what happened in the last arc that don't matter#the ONLY other shounen i can think of that stands anywhere near this in terms of writing is FMA#look ok drag me over the coals i DO NOT CARE#its truly the king series of 'not original idea but fucking stellar execution'#look and i'm not even gonna TALK about the art (jesus fucking christ. horikoshi.)#or the character creation (how did you make us give a shit about a 30+-character ensemble cast? people here are starting WARS over them)#or the WORLD BUILDING THAT IS SO SUBTLE BUT SO POWERFUL#rewatching season 6 (again) in preparation for season 7#and obviously. i am biased. but. dude.#i trust horikoshi with my life#whatever choice he makes on how to end this is right#because LOOK at what he's built over the past 10 years#...dont worry about the posts i just worked 3 night shifts in a row on an amount of sleep some might call#uhhhh. bad#so. don't worry about it. its the delirium#i love you my hero academia
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minecraft exp that drops if you die being capped at 7 levels is so stupid i hate it so much. what do you mean that from my 600+ levels I only get 7 back? I should at least get to lvl 30 minimum
#it's sooooo stupid. idk when that was decided but it feels like it was made for a different time#clearly they know about players that play a lot and don't die. so. why 7#just make it scale higher and higher the more levels you have. like. how levels work already? hello? hello??#you die with 30. you get 7. you die at 100 you get 10 smth like that#and make exp transferrable somehow. idk. bottles you can fill at the cost of 1 lvl but they contain 7#so you can 1) give your friends exp when they're out 2) store it and use it for later#make villager trades for bottles of exp higher so it's not more convenient and you're done#imagine dying with 100 levels losing all your stuff and you can't even enchant. just store sm bottles with lapis and you're up again#it would be so good. like. tell me what I am going to do with 300 levels before I die and lose everything#I need the 300 levels WHEN I die and lose everything! not before!!!!#minec#rant over. food time
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guys i laurv college like actually. went out w a group of ppl and went to CVS and a mediocre pep rally. had a really sweet exchange w a bus driver. roommates are going out in a large group to have some of that sweet liquid sillies allegedly. i am alone in my dorm despite thinking i'd be the last one awake i am literally the only one here. and i'm happy i think :D
#nightmare.personal#we have to be up at like 7:30 am though so God bless my poor roommates#it's just two of them out person no 3 is unaccounted for#hypothetically i couldve stayed up but the group i was hanging out w are all roommates#so it was just me sititng in their dorm while they were showering and i was like. i think maybe i should go back to my home domain#but college is seriously kind of great bc like. you can just Do Shit. no parental convos about the logistics of hanging out#if i want to knock on a friends door to see their taxidermied rat and then go out w them at 10 pm#i am well within my God given right to do that!!!!!!#also idk when the RAs come bc this is meant to be quiet hours but people are blasting frank ocean which#it's frank ocean so you cannot be complaining about that but still#ALSO I SAW THIS GUY I'D BEEN TEXTING AT A STORE AND THEN I SAW HIM LATER AT THE RALLY#AND THIR=TY SECONDS BEFORE THE RALLY ENDED I TEXTED HIM SAYING I SAW HIM#AND HE MADE DIRECT EYE CONTACT WITH ME RIGHT WHEN EVERYONE STARTED LEAVING#IT WAS SO FUNNY. i am seeing him in SO many places and we haven't even hung out yet#also hope the guy that i recced måneskin liked it i didn't do one of their best songs but hopefully thats cool#i just did baby said bc i was gonna do read your diary but thought it'd be too much in hindsight i'd DEFFO do kool kids#IN ANY CASEEEE. idk what to do now just text my gf i guess
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honestly will never ever get how in the world neurotypicals manage doing so much of things while working all the time esp on good ol slavery low paid jobs- i mean i could partly get it i guess but they somehow manage to make families and kids in the middle of the run, like how, how do you fish out enough of energy and time while on the run??
#blahblah#idk all i can do is to go sleep right after work#i mean even if my energy level were higher i would have no other option than sleep#(going back home when its 9 pm: what can you do except a dinner eating and shower taking idk)#(like you know you have to be there at 7:30 am you gotta be awake so yah)
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What if I just don't sleep. What then.
#it is 11:01 and i just finished taking a shower that was supposed to have been taken at 9:30#look. unless someone (steve usually) forces me to go to bed i will not despite knowing i will be complaining the entire day#“im soooi tiiiiired” well maybe its cause you only slept 6 hours you fucking microwave oven#ik its recommended for teens to get about 10 hours of sleep but if the school system wanted me to be healthy they should not make an entire-#-essay due in three days and maybe consider letting kids have more than 10 days absent or even not starting the day at 8 am what about that#huh??? huh??? wisconsin school system i have a complaint to make#see i get 6 hours of sleep. 7 hours at school. that leaves me 11 hours for personal stuff and a good four of those are spent eating and-#-doing chores and talking to family etc etc. so i get about 7 hours to myself add in showering homework and laying on the floor sobbing#and ive got like 5 and a half hours of free time so excuse me if i like to. yk. do thingsand maybe im not getting the recommended 10 hours#- of sleep.#im regan thank you for coming to my speech i wrote it in 10 minutes it is now 11:12 goodnight of youre going to bed if not?#join me in being a fucking goddamn disaster all the time :)
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@staff i suggest that year in review should include a personal analysis section in our settings.
Like how many people unfollowed me? How many times was I blocked? I need to know how many people I successfully pissed off without trying, okay??
this is vital information.
#tumblr review#year in review#tumblr suggestion#like sure I can keep general track of how many people unfollow me -ish#I know I regularly get unfollowed#but I also amass back that number plus some so my follower count looks like it’s growing#like this week alone I think 30 people unfolled me maybe but also I gained 37 followers so it looks like I just gained 7#it’s the murther post I made I think#why do my merthur posts always do well?? the og content ended over a decade ago#I suppose I can’t be talking tho since here I am a clown also making merthur content#I don’t normally get that many people following me at once#I want a chart graphing the line of posts that were popular vs posts I lost followers over#I’m just curious okay#I’d make the chart myself but I don’t think I can download the raw data to do it#would I change my posts to reflect the data?? nope#the analysis would have no value besides amusement#my blog is for just posting stuff that pops in mind not being popular#that I even have a following still surprises me actually#but I STILL NEED TO KNOW OKAY??#okay so knowing which posts did well would actually be useful information but really I just want to know what I lost the most people over#seriously tho#I don’t actually try to annoy people#it just happens anyway ig
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if my brain could give me like One day where it doesn't spiral into "you're going to end up living with your parents next year" and then "okay very best case scenario you buy a house that's big and new and scary" and then "what if you keep your apartment for another year but in doing so you have to give up so much but at least you still have the personal freedom of not having to hide most of yourself that's also scary"
anyway the future is NOT friendly those old telus ads LIED to me I want compensation and I want it to be enough to erase all my financial worries forever.
#ngl was not prepared for the reality of 'youre nearly 30 and make a good salary and have had stable employment#And Yet cannot afford your own apartment'#i just keep thinking like. what am i gonna do with my furniture. it'll all have to go in a storage unit. how much do storage units cost?#I won't be able to keep my own meal schedule bc mom will be upset if i eat lunch at 2 and dinner at 7#won't have a TV anymore. can't listen to podcasts out loud. will get hell for cooking things i want to cook.#eeeaaaaauuuuuuhhhhhghghgggghh#help i became too much of my own person and I can't squash myself back into something my parents can live with anymore#I don't even do that much!!! my parents are just such sticklers for doing things a certain way and i have#deviated from that and formed my own preferences and routines and such#can the feds pls freeze rent increases again. pls. or like. drop the interest rate. like 3%.
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