#like it went thru so deep.
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#guys im like so scared#so like a week ago my 1 year old cousin she fell and got a huge glass stuck in her hand#like it went thru so deep.#and u know she went hosp etc they stitched it and she’s had a bandage on#but she’s literally been fine???? like it’s crazy how normal she was being after getting hurt so bad#she’s literally an angel mashallah#but she wasn’t putting her ring and pinky finger up#like they were completely down all week and her mum was like she seems fine idk what to do#so she went to change the bandage yesterday and they were like u need to go to this big hospital immediately bc her fingers aren’t moving up#and smth to do w her nerves#they’ve been in the hospital since yesterday 10pm and just came back now#i haven’t slept all night bc i was so worried man#and she has to have a op tomorrow :(((#my little baby i love her so bad she’s everything to me i feel so scared for her wtf#she’s literally my little bestie 😭😭 u know when a kid runs to u whenever they see u…that kind ☹️
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HEY GUYS REMEMBER WHEN CHLOE WANTED MAX TO BE THE LAST THING SHE EVER SAW BEFORE DYING. BTW GUYS. REMEMBER WHEN CHLOE SAID “i’m never leaving you” AND “that’s okay we will, forever” AND “Max, i’ll always be with you”. GUYS GUYS GUYS HOLD ON REMEMBER WHEN CHLOE SPENT YEARS TALKING TO MAX IN HER DIARY BECAUSE SHE COULDN’T LET HER GO GUYS. AND WHEN SHE TOOK MAX BACK IN A HEARTBEAT BECAUSE SHE MISSED HER TOO MUCH. OH AND BTW REMEMBER HOW THEY WERE CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS AND GREW UP TOGETHER AND FELL IN LOVE AND ARE NOT LINKED ONLY BY A ‘trauma bond’. DO WE REMEMBER THAT. COLLECTIVELY.
#life is strange#lis#max caulfield#chloe price#pricefield#feeling like being mad today sorry#it’s just. you just don’t get them.#“max and chloe share a trauma bond” actually they didn’t bond over their trauma. btw#like they’re each other’s first ever friend#first ever best friend#first ever LOVE. (arguably)#like YES. it would make sense if they had only gotten close because they went thru the same trauma together#BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED.#and i need ppl to stop acting like it is#like how can you look at their relationship and not understand how DEEP it goes and just reduces it to#“they’re traumatized so it makes sense that they’d grow apart also chloe was a bad friend”#like just stop. you do not get it. gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.#ANYWAY I’M RAMBLING#life is strange double exposure spoilers
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unsure how to word this but there is something about having ocs with unsavory events happening in their past where it's like. talking about it, even when asked, seems almost gratuitous and inappropriate. and i'd much rather describe it through the oc themself and/or draw Them saying it. which is like. fitting for the subject matter? like of course its weird to talk about somebody else's business...!
and falls back into humanizing em/exploratory writing and development where u consider the impact of words said/words unsaid/HOW those words are said etc etc
#because not all real persons would give u every detail of their trauma obviously#which makes sense but im an overexplainer but also it feels inappropriate to overexplain when it comes to dis#i hope that makes sense#talkys#i once described what went down with al as just directly as possible and it still felt weird. ykwim?? idk why.#well i do know why! i dont want it to seem gratuitous or like That Cheap Writing Element. fine line#same with talon so he'll just keep implying it thru text + dialogue which is how it should be !#the only difference is i think with al i wrote it like he would've said it bc he has more access to that side of himself#and is aware of how it affected him#whereas characterwise talon absolutely would just speak in riddles about and around it#i don't even think he's conscious about the direct effects of it#(but i wouldnt know bc he hasn't made that known to me in my brain)#people respond differently to different things and all that#also im so sorry if half the shit ive said recently is so like. Well Duh. i havent made a new oc in a decade gimme a break LOL#also i realize the. irony? of me even vaguely talking about it in the way i did but 1. i think that's also realistic when you#dont want to do a whole deep dive on someone else's business and 2. people are becoming#curious about my oc(s) and im just thinking about well; significant events and how to handle not speaking about em#FOR them. <- weirdly#idk. they're real to me.#its just so much more interesting to leave it up to them! people can lie people can downplay
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Well, I bugged @ericchristianolsenfans all day to make this post (and she obliged me cuz she's awesome!), but I should probably also share it here before the day ends! 😂 (Plus, I provided her with the screencaps, so it's technically like half my post too! 😂😂)
But Get Real turns 25 today (Sep 8)! I still don't know how I missed this show when it was actually airing on TV. I was totally the right demographic and would've loved it! Thankfully, in the past few years, some wonderful people have put the episodes up on YouTube so I've finally gotten to see them all! Well, all the ones that aired in the US - the show was canceled with two episodes to go, but some of the international broadcasts actually aired those episodes. Maybe someday those will surface again. Till then, if you search on yt you can find the 20 aired episodes and enjoy some young ECO!
There are also a fair number of recognizable faces who guest star in the series, which is fun to see too!!
#get real#1999#25th anniversary#eric christian olsen#anne hathaway#jesse eisenberg#there were a few other things I'd sent her from my deep dark internet searching the she didn't post#which is probably for the best#not sure what eric would think... 😂😂😂#yes I'm being vague but you can msg me if you're curious! 😂#I'd really like them to put it on a streaming something!#cuz why not! 😂#i need it in better quality than bad VHS rips#i realized I posted about the 20th anniversary here too and at that point i hadn't seen a single ep yet - just some ads#two months later i saw the pilot at the Paley center#then the next year the YouTube versions went up#so yay!!#there are bts videos in the insta post if you click thru#Instagram
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hmm i wonder if tumblr user ferncloud likes ferncloud...
/.\ MAYBE...
#LOL#when i first got this username in 2014 i liked her just fine but in a sort of whatever way#over the years ive grown quite attached HAHAHA i love her shes so kitty of all time#her mother is killed horrifically and left outside her home & she immediately offers herself to lead the dogs which is a near death sentenc#& weeks later she participates in a massive battle to the death with bloodclan... these events r often credited as traumatic experiences#explaining ashfurs terrible life choices but ferncloud went thru the same thangs. & then dustpelt.... was an adult hovering over her through#out all of this. & then she just wants to have kittens & if were reading into it maybe she wants to raise kittens the way she wishes she was#raised but many of her kittens die early or make it to adulthood but die b4 her. & on top of just what we know about her life shes hated by#thousands of readers for being a woman who wants to raise kids. & SHES KILLED CUZ SHES SO HATED...#i notice even now ferncloud is still reduced to motherhood by a lot of ppl#& thats ok its not that deep shes a bg character its nobodys job to think about everything. but she can be so personal & special & emo too#she is to me 💗 im proud to be a ferncloud. if ferncloud has 0 fans it cuz i died 😁#Oh i also have the handdrawn comic page from a shadow in riverclan by james that has ferncloud blushing at feathertail LOL#i am sooooooooo sorry for this miles long tags rant#ask
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i have no impulse control and this sound was a vocal stim for like. way too long last(?) year and boom this is happening.
#kwazii: it’s not a real bomb#OR WAIT NO WHAT IF#peso: OH FUDRUCKER-#WHY IS THERE A BOMB IN THE ROOM WHY IS THERE A BOMB IN THE ROOM WHY IS THERE A BOMB IN THE ROOM#barna: it’s not a *real* bomb#peso: SHJDSH WE WENT THRU ALL THIS AND NOW WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH A *B O M B*#kwazii: omg it’s a bomb! :D#the idea being that like#barna is casually chilling in the med bay waiting for peso with a knife or sword or smth still stabbed in his arm#and peso walks in#looks up#and is just like FFS#he is so done with everything#and barna is like peso cub bestie boo coworker doctor son silly my little guy#it’s literally just a stab wound to the bicep#i’m literally fine i just need it sterilized and stitched up it isn’t even that deep#and peso is soooo done with this bs fhjgdghhf#and then kwazii walks past the open medbay door and is like ‘oh my god it’s a knife/sword! :DD’#i’m actually really enjoying this tho#i did something on accident and turns out it was what i needed to do to make my poses less stiff#so i call this an art exercise#plus it’s good for expressions and dramaticized stylization#slay#octonauts#octonauts fandom#captain barnacles#octonauts kwazii#octonauts barnacles#octonauts peso#coral’s silly art
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like out of all the many, many traumas ive given elspeth my favorite has gotta be the deep roads lol. and specifically the way she never really got OUT of them. yeah so maybe her body did but not HER. shes still down there with ruck and helspith every time she closes her eyes. and during future expeditions when she goes down into the deep roads for real, it doesnt feel like some horrible nightmare it feels like REALITY and its the surface and love and warmth and alistair thats nothing more than a pleasant dream. one shes always going to wake up from. bc even in her happiest moments she's never not aware of the darkspawn digging up towards her just a few miles under her feet. and never not feeling the eyes of the deep roads looking at her, gleefully waiting for her, and knowing its not going anywhere
#i love shale but for elspeth's worldstate i dont recruit her bc im so obsessed w the dynamic of it being elspeth/alistair/oghren/the dog lol#oc: elspeth#tay plays dao#she got SEVERE shell shock being down there in the dead trenches after the realization that came from helspith's poem#why shes never seen any female darkspawn and why there apparently arent as many female wardens either#and like. Understanding that death is the absolute best case scenario for her.#alistair had to 100000% step up as the leader because she was completely out of commission. barely able to breathe let alone fight or lead#going from this unstoppable warrior who NEVER loses her nerve or control on a battlefield#to nearly dying to the broodmother bc she was so fucking terrified. bc all she could see was her own fate mirrored back at her#finally FINALLY understanding what it means to be a grey warden. and then trying to reject that reality with her entire body and soul#she pulls herself out of it enough to get out alive but she never had a moment of like... triumph over the deep roads where she had a burst#of courage and saved the day or whatever. thats not usually how trauma works and so alistair carried them thru that#thru the broodmother and the anvil and branka and back to orzammar just as elspeth was beginning to put herself back together#afterwards the lack of closure to what was one of her ''weakest'' lowest moments rly weighed her down with guilt and shame#and its only a year later during awakening when she finally reconciles with having NO choice but to go back into the deep roads#and being able to kill the mother. THAT helped. that restored some small part of her#gave her the strength to start going back down there when the need arose. resigned to an early death but ready to put up a fight#but ye. still such a fundamentally devastating thing she went thru which altered her entire personality to the point where she starts fully#embracing being a warden (bc how can someone who's seen what shes seen and done what shes done be anything else???)#and INSISTING alistair take the throne despite having always been supportive of his desire not to. even if it means she loses him.#bc its a last ditch effort to save him from the fate she's completely surrendered herself to#sigh. this game man.#i need dadw to Confirm that the grey wardens have found a cure and alistair and hof are safe because jesus christ. my girl NEEDS a win
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omg my bf added true love waits to the playlist he made me ......<3333
#i thought i had it on the one i made him but i dont omfg#he doesnt rly listen to this kind of music so he must've dug deep to find it <3#he did take some songs off my playlist like enjoy the silence or selfless but yea that one's not on mine <3#wait wait i just remembered i reposted a tiktok abt that song and he went thru my profile like three days ago..... <3
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Isn't it funny how we never talk about the age difference of Reid with literally everyone else?
Like no matter who he's shipped with theres at least a 8+ years difference between them. I mean he was 24 at the start of the show so it's not a bad thing at all but its still wild lmaooo
And I based all the ages through the cm wikia 😂😂 idk if its correct or not but derek is born in 1973 while reid was in 1981 so like yeah, 8 years difference
#spencer reid#istg i never heard someone talk abt this#its NOT A BAD THING but just very interesting#how does the dynamic work too? everyone else always have a deep job experience while reid was thrown face first to a prominent unit#like in the crime scenes#the others have seen a lot of shit so i get it and reid would have very very extensive knowledge on his field but still#didnt even flinch when he looks at the most gruesome corpse imaginable like what kinda training did captain bambi eyes went thru#e.
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fictional or not, dragon lore is always so interesting.
#I'm watching a DS3 lore video on the nameless king bc i wanted to figure out wtf is the dragonslayer armor's deal#but the greater lore around the dragons is SO fucking good and now I'm thinking about dragons lol#i could watch these dark souls/elden ring lore videos by VaatiVidya all day tbh#i LOVE how deep he goes with it. these worlds and their lore already feel huge but#as someone who's only played the third dark souls it rly makes me appreciate how complex and interconnected it is as a series.#sometimes i wonder if the creators ever watch these vids and think “we didn't mean all that but that's a great idea”#or if they watch it and get super happy like YES that is exactly what our subtle storytelling meant.#either way i have So so much respect for ppl who go and put together these lore videos#going as far as to look at game dumps and early releases/cut content and ALL the dialogue and item descriptions#for any one topic the lore is so scattered about and piecing together any single thing seems like such a massive undertaking.#like lmaooo i can't even follow a single questline without pulling up the wiki#a recent rabbit hole i went down too is how there are different times/realities even just DS3 takes place in?#like how in Untended Graves you see a world without light where darkness rules - and in ringed city when ur fighting those#dragons in the base of that big tree that's supposed to be the original firelink shrine and then the shrine u use is maybe The Past?#the past relative to the other shrine from the world where the flame went out w darkness ruling.#idk how the transition works from being in that one dude's garden in ur world to just walking right into the other one but idc.#just say i got twilight zoned or somethn lol. always. very interesting stuff :^} I'm not smart enough to pick up on anything in the moment#but it's SO fun watching what other people pieced together whose whole thing is that they go thru these games thoroughly.#and in a way it makes me not want to stop playing DS/ER bc there's just so much going on here that's so rewarding??#like. on TOP of the suuper deep lore the gameplay is also just super fun and u get HELLA weapons and special moves#and the modding scene has made some hella streamline tools that are so good these have been the first games I've ever MADE mods for!#like i can't think of any other games that are like this where I'm really encouraged it make it my own with such a helpful and#engaging community. I'm sure there r other games out there that are similarly engaging with deep lore and streamlined modtools#and mod communities but (〒﹏〒) 1. where?? 2. DS/ER are very beloved to me.#it's funny how little u have to know or do to beat their respective storylines. I've played them both a ton and still know so little.#and when i walk away from these lore vids I'm always like Woah 😵💫 yk? anyways.. that's my lil rant :3 back to work now
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kpop obsession has calmed into something sustainable. i could write an entire essay on how i feel abt each skz member bc for each of them, when i see them being hot and being whores, i feel a deep sense of teary-eyed pride that is probably a lot more parasocial than if i just thought they were hot. except changbin i do have an actual crush on him
#p#i love making fun of chan but the other day i went on a whole tangent to my nctzen friend abt the survival show and chan#and how i feel like watching it gives u a true appreciation and sense of what chan went thru for his entire adolescence in pursuit of debut#and she was speechless. like YES deep down i am so proud of these boys!!!!! wolfgang woof woof
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ohhh finished naddpods eldermourne campaign finally.. WHAT A RUSH !!!! the finale was so insane i cried a little i will be Honest
#peach patter#ohhhh emily axford parasocial loml#i owe her everything for making 90% of her characters wlw#actually i dont know if she Has a character who hasnt at least flirted with another woman in canon . slay !!#maybe brimstone billie ? thats all i can think of but she existed for like 3 eps max so *shrugs#ANYWASY !! SO GOOD !!!#im gonna listen to some dnd court and their oneshots before starting the current campaign#so excited tho.... ohhhhhhhh eldermourne was so much fun . so heavy but so worth working thru#love naddpod so much its so silly but so heartbreaking and so fun but so deep and relatable and understandable and AAAAAAA#one of these days ill relisten to c1 <3 i miss moonshine . emily rlly just went unhinged for her its sillyfun
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i think it's just in my nature to get stabbed
if i count this, then this would be the 3rd stabbing i have endured
#speculation nation#it very much follows the trends i saw in my prior stabs#aka tiny lil entry point but Much Blood#& other external signs such as bruising#like listen. she got me GOOD. i knew as soon as it happened that she cut me deep#slapped my hand over it and there was instantly blood. that doesnt usually happen for cat scratches for me.#this wasn't a scratch. this was a stab. i got stabbed in the Cheek.#nonzero chance it will scar. my other two stabs sure did.#also for new followers who have not heard the stories: one was a drink thermometer at work n the other was my machete#dropped the drink thermometer and tried to catch it. slammed it point-first into my palm. went a good half centimeter in. Ow.#machete was bc i was storing it in a random other box and forgot. upended it & dropped it point-first onto my finger#INCREDIBLY lucky it did not like. cut my finger off or w/e. it definitely hit the bone but it was on the backside of a finger#so it didnt hit anything essential. and really just kinda hurt like a bitch.#i have a backwards checkmark scar on my finger from it lol. i was very Very lucky.#also lucky w/ the thermometer that i didnt catch anything bad w/ it bc hands are really VERY incredibly intricate#sooo many things running thru those palms. i think it stabbed into muscle rather than ligaments. aka the less harmful outcome.#bc i still have full function of my hand! couldve been Much Worse.#aka what this means is i am a walking disaster and it really is a wonder i havent ended up in the hospital due to my many stupid accidents#anyways yea my cheek do be stabbed. guess that's why it bruised. crazy.
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First paragraph of Garashir 7yr itch AU: Fuck the colonizers, fuck them racist ass Spaniards, but this ain’t about them, they do nothing for this story I’m just petty and want to follow the movie plot and beats
#you know what scene I’m talking abt if you’ve seen the movie#if not it’s the beginning part about the natives who pretty much went thru this Itch first to help explain the movies plot#I learned a lot within like two hours for a paragraph I had to keep short before I went off the deep end#7yr itch au#I SHOULDNT BE SHOCKED RACIST SPANIARDS ARE ON TIKTOK AND MY PEOPLE ARE ROADTING THEM SO HARD BLESSED BE HISPANIC/LATINX#I’m not saying ALL of them but like…the ones making scenes on tiktok ain’t helping y’all
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okay. so we're doing this again (HEAVY tws in tags)
#i have a word for it now#it was organized abuse - familial organized abuse#my chest is so tight i feel like i cant take a full deep breath#i can feel myself starting to panic#technology facilitated organized abuse and csem material#i hate him so much my stomach hurts#why why why why why#tw csa#csa tw#tw trafficking#trafficking tw#tw oea#oea tw#csa vent#trafficking vent#oea vent#i dont know how to deal with this rn#and i KNOW it sounds like a disgustingly depraved horror story but it was real and it happened to me#for so long i was of the belief that that wasnt my word. that what i went thru cant be classified as that#and now that it is? i feel like im going to have a fucking panic attack#milo murmurs#im sorry im sorry i still feel guilty using it my chest hurts im sorry#the only thing that doesnt apply was that it was not ritualistic in nature for me#yet i still feel like a liar#maybe i really do need to tell someone out loud#i feel like throwing up
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obligatory This Fucked moment that i have to post every time i reread
#my hof is so fun cuz it's like#what if you went thru this life changing experience with this found family#and you DIDN'T bond with them#you DIDN'T make a family out of them#and when it's over your devotion goes not to the people who've earned it but to the one remaining member of your family#because deep down you are forever frozen as that 19yo caught in her underclothes when howe's soldiers attacked your home#canon
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