#like it makes a lot of sense but we don't see it anywhere else!! fucking of course people would try to study the cataclysm!!

[berylcups]

Heya. Can I ask for La Squadra with a shy reader that hides from everyone on their daily basis? Like in the closet, or under the table. Just weird and various places to avoid talking with anyone, so it's really hard to even find them (could be an effect of a Stand).

Thank you 🤭

Hey there! So sorry for the long wait! I hope it’s worth your while! I had a lot of fun coming up with a bunch of bizarre scenarios for each character 😄

La Squadra X Reader that hides and is shy

(Cue Man in The Box -Alice in Chains) 😄

CW: melone being melone, alcohol

Notes: Sorry for the delay everyone! I hope you all enjoy! 💜 Beryl

Y/N was a little unusual…but who in the hitman team wasn’t a little weird? Y/N was very shy, they liked to hide in the strangest of places and tended to have moments where they couldn’t speak…or just refused to speak. It was hard to tell. The team somehow just coped with their odd behavior because out of all the team quirks theirs was the most tolerable! Unfortunately for Y/N, they were needed often by their team for various reasons…

Risotto

“We’re going to have a meeting in 30 minutes. The boss sent in a new hit and I want everyone in here by that time” he announced to the room scanning his eyes around for a head count. As usual, you weren’t there. “And that includes Y/N.” He said it loud enough for you to hear.

He knew you were in the room but he didn’t know where. With your stealthiness and way of contorting your body you could be ANYWHERE.

He could feel a sense of excess iron in kitchen… he look around and—nothing. He would have to start checking the drawers and cabinets again. He checked and checked… until he looked up on top of the fridge.

“Ah, Y/N. There you are. Just in time.” Risotto said, relieved while holding back a snicker. “Come on down now. It’s time. I promise it won’t last long.”

“…” you were curled up with hands on your knees and you tilted your head at him. “..?”

“We are not going to argue over this. It’s time to come down.” He sighed.

You shook your head no.

“I will make sure nobody makes eye contact with you if you come down. And you will get the couch to yourself.”

You finally hopped off the fridge and sat in his chair. Everyone felt awkward and averted eye contact.

“Okay as I was saying…” he began.

Formaggio

Drinking a bunch with the guys gives Maggio the munchies. He was looking through the pantry and moving snacks around only to make eye contact with you.

“Woah! Oh…hey Y/N! Uh…didn’t see you there!” He felt his soul almost leave his body when he saw you. He should of known you’d be in a strange place, you been a gang member forever it feels like!

“*munch munch* …” you just stared at him while eating potato chips.

“Are those the BBQ flavored chips?” He asked.

You nodded your head yes.

“Can I have some?” He asked.

You gave him the bag only leaving him with crumbs.

“Aw come on Y/N. You could have just said no. I don't want no damn crumbs!” He whined.

You pointed at the garbage can and he looked over towards where you were pointing.

“You just gave me your garbage to throw away?! Unbelievable! You’re lucky you are cute Y/N or else I have some choice words for you!” He groaned.

“I’m taking these snack cakes.” He swiped the snack cakes above you, making you frown.

Illuso

You were hiding in the closet today. The guys were getting rowdy and drunk and you didn’t want NONE of that. So you were playing a game boy with a flash light so you could see the screen. You felt a bright burst of light sting your eyes making you hiss.

“Found you~.” Illuso said smugly. “Well I wasn’t looking for ya but finding you is like finding where’s Waldo so I’m pretty lucky today!”

You hissed at him again.

“When oh when are you going to be brave and just come out of the closet already???But no seriously. Jokes aside, I need my jacket.” He said reaching his arm in.

You slapped it away.

“Hey! Let me have my fucking jacket!” He barked and reached for it again.

You slapped his hand harder this time.

“Ow! What the hell?!” He rubbed his hand. “Hey Prosciutto! Y/N won’t give me my damn jacket !” He yelled.

“Well then go without it!” You heard a voice yell from downstairs.

Pesci

Pesci insisted on having a massive fish tank to liven up the base. But nobody wanted to deal with all the exotic fish and feed them daily so it was up to him. If he was lucky maybe just MAYBE Risotto or Sorbet would feed them, but that was about the extent of the care given to these poor fish.

He went to grab the supplies under the fish tank to clean it by opening the drawers to where the cleaning solution was located only to be met with you curled up under the fish tank calmly listening to the aquatic sounds.

“Eeek! Y/N!” His heart almost jumped out of his chest. “ how did you get in there?!”

You simply responded with a yawn.

“D-Don’t tell me you were planning on taking a nap in there?!” He stuttered. He knew you were a little strange, he didn’t judge but that’s no place to nap!

You just rubbed your eyes and made a soft whining noise.

“Ok I’m sorry-I’ll leave you alone. I’ll clean the tank in a few hours when you are done. But can you hand me the fish food?” He asked politely.

You gave him the fish food and turned your back to him and continued with your nap.

“Thank you Y/N.” He whispered and closed the door.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto needed a drink after a long day and went toward the bar to look for his favorite liquor. …it’s missing.

“Which one of you assholes took my shit?” He angrily mumbled as he exhaled his cigarette smoke.

“*cough* *cough*” he heard a noise under the bars’ bottom cabinet.

“I caught you!” He quickly opened the drawers revealing a tipsy you drinking straight from the bottle.

He scrunched his nose in annoyance and quickly snatched it out of your hand.

“Do you realize how much this stuff costs??? More than you can afford clearly.” He sneered.

You hiccuped and gave him the finger, clearly not caring about what he has to say.

“Eugh! How dare you!” He clutched his invisible pearls. “I’m letting risotto know about this!”

“I already know…if it makes you feel any better Y/N taste tested all the liquor we had and is probably going to get the worst hangover of their life.” Risotto said overhearing the conversation.

Melone

You were texting and hiding behind the curtains. It was a nice rainy day out and you wanted to be close to the rain drops but not get wet.

“Hmm… it’s so dark in here. We could use some natural light.” Melone mumbled to himself.

Before he drew the curtain he saw a pair of feet and tried not to snicker. He always thought of you like an aloof house cat.

He went to grab the curtain string and you quickly took a death grip on his hand.

“Ow ow ow - Y/N let gooooo~” he whined in pain. He never knew you could squeeze that hard! But…he shouldn’t be too surprised with you being a hitman and all… you need good hands to strangle with.

“I’ll leave you alone! I’ll just use the shitty lamp instead.” He sighed rubbing his wrist.

“You know those hands could probably give a very goo-“ he got cut off by getting a Nokia phone thrown at his head. You weren’t letting him finish that cursed thought.

Ghiaccio

Ghiaccio was brushing his teeth. His eye felt a little blurry after waking up. He’s a little grumpy since he overslept and somehow slept an hour through his alarm.

“This is bullshit…” he muttered while brushing. You couldn’t understand a single word he was saying through a mouth full of toothpaste and an electric toothbrush being noisy.

He hasn’t noticed yet but you were hanging out in the air conditioning duct. Your eyes were peeping through the vent. Why were you watching him in the bathroom? That’s a good question… you planned on snaking your way back to your room because you didn’t want to be seen. You just needed to wait for him to leave so you could jump out of the air vent and get to your room right next to the communal bathroom.

One of the screws were loose (and probably a few in your head are loose too but we don’t worry about that) and dropped on to his head making him jump.

“What the fuck was that?!” He quickly scans the bathroom…nothing.

“My head is messing with me again..”he grumbled as he spat out his mouth wash.

Another screw fell landing in front of him this time.

“A screw..?” He looked from where it landed it up to the ceiling to air duct to see… two round eyes peering down at him.

“Gesù Cristo!!!” He screeched at the top of his lungs. You never heard his voice crack that hard.

The panel became unstable and you fell through the air duct. You cringed in pain from the short fall.

“Y/N what the fuck?! Why were you watching me?! No—screw that. Why were you in the damn vent?!”

“…”

“You didn’t want to talk to anyone so you decided to go through the air duct to get to your room and you were waiting for me to leave?!”

You nodded your head yes.

“You dumbass! What if I was shitting?! I can’t get no privacy in this damn place! Nobody has any respect I swear to —“ he ranted on and on. You got up and dusted yourself off ignoring him and walked out going to your room.

Finally. All alone now. 😌

[ronearoundblindly]

No pressure at all! But I had an idea for your ‘how would the Cevans characters react’ I’ve loved every installment of this so far 🥰🖤🥰

How would they react if reader was having an off day and for some reason couldn’t get off so she faked having an orgasm in bed.

Is this because of @cevansbrat0007's Ari fic? (which is great, go read that, but I feel like I've seen a surge in this trope since) Because, see, this is very interesting to me, and I really hope you've read other stuff of mine before, nonnie. I don't write everybody as a perfect gentleman...

Warnings for various levels of spice since we are, in fact, talking about orgasms, duh! MINORS DNI. See my Light Masterlist for all-age friendly fics!

James Mace

Ok, I'm not sure it would get so far as for you to actually fake it. Mace is a slow, steady, deep kind of lover. He'd realize you aren't getting anywhere or building up to it pretty quickly, all things considered, and he would make you talk to him while he continues foreplay/touching you. Pretty sure he just wants to be attached to you in some way while you have time together...

Curtis Everett

Curtis gets very intense when he senses you're holding something back, like predatorily intense. Uses his body to cage you in, constant eye contact, probably even pinching/tickling you until you confess.

He doubles down. You fake one; Curtis forces two out of you in return.

Jimmy Dobyne

Shockingly, Jimmy would be super upset if you faked an orgasm with him. (There is one caveat to this: IF HE FINDS OUT.) Jimmy is a straight-forward guy who doesn't enjoy dating games. You aren't into sex right now? Fucking say something. He's horrified by the idea you would just lay there and take it or whatever because what the fuck???

He's got simple rules. If you don't like something, tell him because he can handle himself for one night/a little while or he'll happily do something different. If you never want something he does, then you two shouldn't be together. That's it.

Sex is an important aspect of your relationship, but it ain't the whole thing. Tell him to piss off, or ask for a quiet night of holding each other. Do not lie, cheat, or steal. You lied about being satisfied, you cheated him out of the chance to actually give you what you needed, and you stole his confidence that he recognizes your body's signals. Yes, Jimmy sorta makes it about him, but that's mostly because he feels helpless and a little dirty.

Johnny Storm

Existential CRISIS.

Have you ever faked it with him before? Have other women faked it with him?? Is this a common thing??? Hot shot goes into full-meltdown mode, and unsurprisingly, you end up kinda lost in the narrative there, soothing him instead of yourself.

Oddly enough, you two do end up closer from the experience though because Johnny realizes that he very much values trust and honesty, whereas before he would have thought plain ol' fun the most important thing...

Jake Jensen

Jakey, my beloved, clueless noob... He doesn't really know what to do. He asks a lot of questions. What's wrong? What can he do? What do you want in this moment? Should he have done it differently? Do you need more? Something else? Was it him?

For a dozen times after, he'll ask if that one was real or fake. He's touchy about it, but 90% of his concern is just that you are actually happy. He puts in quite a bit of extra effort for a while after, too.

Lloyd Hansen

I am a broken record when it comes to Lloyd: he does not care. At best, he'd be torturing you to come for his own pleasure. At worst, well, he's there to get off. You don't need to.

If by some magical scenario Lloyd does give a fuck about you or your feelings, I think he'd expect you to take what you needed from him to climax. Otherwise, it's not really his problem.

Ari Levinson

Depends on his own mood for sure. When Ari is stressed or tired, he tends to turn inward and focus on his own feelings, not purposefully ignoring you but still. It reads like he didn't/doesn't notice and just continues on with sleep/the normal routine. If he's got the emotional, energy bandwidth to talk it out with you, he absolutely will. Don't take any offense. Sometimes he's muddling through like you.

Ransom Drysdale

Has no idea. Probably doesn't want to have an idea. Unless it becomes a regular problem, he's just gonna let it slide. He won't bring it up if you don't.

Steve Rogers

On the surface, Steve looks concerned and listens to your reasons for faking, but honestly, on the inside, he hates the idea that you felt the need to. Steve will easily forego sex in favor of literally anything you want to do, so to let it get all the way to love-making and apparently suffering through till he's finished? It makes him a bit sick. He'll get more more restrained and cautious in future, all for want of you never faking again.

Bucky Barnes

Feels like a huge failure as a partner. Spends a good portion of the conversation having you promise to communicate with him better from now on. This is from a man who has so many things going on in his mind that Bucky is often derailed from pleasure/enjoyment during sex. He's just very triggered by the darndest things, and you've been so understanding. Why can't he be that for you, too?

Thank you for asking!

A/N: I know these are a bit short. Let me know if there's one or more you'd like expanded on, but thank you for reading!

[Main Masterlist; 'Who Would...' Asks; Ko-Fi]

[zhuoyichenpretty]

aww yeah ep 20 GOOD

I guess I do (very casual, broadstroke) episode commentaries now, halfway through the show lmao. Spoilers below!!

Bai Jiu BETRAYAL?

Wen Xiao WANTED?

Zhuo Yichen DETECTIVE-ING?

Ying Lei BACK?

*crowd cheers*

The dots are connecting like crazy with the big bad's whole inner core crusade and also with the simultaneous demon case like I did not recognize Ao Yin as the demon Li Lun first released eight years ago but oooh do I enjoy that minor payoff.

Love the repeated use of the demonic-spell-restraining sigils now that we've been introduced to them though I wonder why the Bureau doesn't ever seem to make use of them. Maybe they don't deal with enough powerful demons to need to paint those in their own (very empty) dungeon? Or perhaps just plot convenience. (edit: someone has pointed out the Bureau indeed uses them!! I'm just blind <3)

Anyway I kind of wish in the Chongwu Camp dungeon PSJ fought a little bc she's so cool in action and their bailing was a little abrupt, but it makes sense that they'd have an immediate getaway plan. Also this is an ep 19 comment but that line Mr. 3-Face Mask delivered about PSJ being fated to always be betrayed by her little brother(s) HURT. So good.

Back to the Bureau, I do love me a good framing, and I'm also happy to get a tiny bit of the episodic demon-murder-case style back. WX was v clever to hide out in Situ Mansion, and (small detail but) I appreciate that the others catch her up on the Bai Jiu thing onscreen. As an aside, I also like that the actress for WX got to be double-casted even just briefly. Seeing some of the actors get to play around with portraying various extremes in characterization and costuming is a ton of fun.

And then yay Bai Jiu backstory at last~! It's crazy how much that blood moon fucked up everyone's lives eight years ago huh.

Everything ZYC says to him is on point (and honestly, ZYC is really quite adept at comforting others, he just sucks utter ass at it when it's his fault and he has to apologize lmaooo) but of course my favorite scene in the whole episode is as follows:

The very slight shine in the waterline, the bittersweet smile/grimace as, deliberately or not, ZYC's words indirectly echo everything about the circumstances between the two of them right now??? Whew. They did that for me specifically.

Anyway, this was a good one to chew on for me, packed with plot movement enough that I didn't feel unsatisfied with just one episode. I'm glad that so far it seems like the release schedule bears in mind what episodes should be watched in pairs for maximum effect (eps 16/17, 18/19 specifically) and which ones are okay to stand alone for the day, but I also don't want to speak too soon haha. We'll see how ep 21 fares.

Also since this is a ZYC stan account (lmao) I have some obligatory ZYC thoughts that I haven't managed to fit anywhere else. I've been meaning to comment on this for a while now and was reminded by this episode: I love the fact that ZYC actually smiles quite often. I think it's a bit surprising every time he does because he so easily fits the archetype of stoic broody action hero, but it really is just an archetype he's fit himself into, and it's never clearer than when they flash back to smiley baby!ZYC (how freely and purely he used to give those smiles away...).

On the other side of this is also how caustic and biting he can be with his words, whether sarcastically or otherwise, and how clearly his face telegraphs his emotions in general. I love that he actually emotes quite a lot and isn't cold and unaffected in the least, just pouty frowny and awkward.

The last piece to this for me is probably his age (which I very much appreciated being established super early on) and how convincingly TJR portrays him as young and inexperienced and extremely earnest. He's so sincere in everything he does that it really doesn't take much to move him, which also (imo) makes his arc less overdone.

We all know from the start what direction his development will likely go, how he'll learn he's mistaken about ZYZ and how he'll grow to have a more nuanced view of the world as he creates more bonds with others. But he's so emotional and emotionally aware that it doesn't really take much push and pull to get him there. And actually, it's not untread ground to him—he is moreso thawing, in part returning to the open-hearted nature that he had to very abruptly shutter away rather than fundamentally changing as a person. I think to me, that makes his character more compelling to watch because his cynicism about the world is perhaps the least sincere thing about him. It's entirely learned, and not by choice. Relatable.

[quitefair]

The Temple of Mythal and Greek Sculpture

Or: How Bioware takes from history without any nuance.

--

Picture this. You're me, playing Inquisition for the first time. You get to the Temple of Mythal, the doors shut behind you and you finally get to look around. It's a typical elven ruin for the game, nothing much seems different...

Hold on.

Hold the fuck on.

You know what that is.

You know what that's based on, and for a long time after it tickles you. Oh, maybe that meant something in the grander scheme of things! We've never seen such a blatant reference to a real-life sculpture anywhere else in game (to my knowledge at the time)! Maybe it'll come up later and it'll all make sense!

Here's the deal. I've been bothered by this for years. The more I think about it, the more angry I become. Anger over a single fucking type of statue, you say? There's a lot of other shit to be angry over in this game, and you choose this?

YES! I CHOOSE THIS! AND THIS IS WHY.

--

Picture this. You're me again, aged 14 this time. You're in the Louvre, the first museum of Western classical art you've ever been to. You've grown up in a place where this interest could only be cultivated from extra-curricular reading, and for a kid that age from my country to be ass deep in Greek and Egyptian myth is frankly lmao. Neurodivergent. Anyway.

So we're wandering around the Louvre, I've just taken my parents through the Egyptian section and given them a thorough infodump on everything I know about burial rites.

And then we enter this room. And I very nearly fall to my knees when I catch sight of her.

This is the sculpture the statues at the Temple of Mythal are based on - one Winged Victory of Samothrace.

She is a sculpture from the Hellenestic era, depicting the goddess Nike stood at the prow of a ship. Her head and both arms are missing, save one hand with two fingers (also in the Louvre but displayed separately). She was found on the Greek island of Samothrace, among the ruins of what was known as the Sanctuary of the Great Gods. It seemed like she was displayed at the top of a hill, looming down at all that regarded her.

I’ve had the absolute privilege of seeing her in person twice in my life, both before and after the 2013 restoration. And let me tell you, regardless of which staircase that leads you there, the sight of her will stop you in your tracks.

[Now with people, for scale.]

She is massive. Larger than life, and immediately is the centre of your attention. It's not the fact that she has no head, no arms. No, you will realise the closer you get to her, the more you're able to appreciate the details of this absolutely astounding piece of history.

No. It's because she feels so alive.

The way her robes drape against flesh, wet from sea-spray or rain, yet flowing with the motion of an invisible wind. The wings cast behind her dramatically as her right foot steps forward. Standing tall and proud, unflinching, unbowed against the elements. Even without her arms, you can feel how dynamic the torso and legs are.

You don't need to be an art historian, or even have any knowledge of Greek myth or art history to stand in front of her, as I once did as a young teen, and nearly be brought to tears.

So.

This brings me to the first of the two main gripes I have with the way this sculpture is used in Inquisition.

Compared to the way she's displayed in the Louvre, and also presumably how she was presented to her original audience - larger than life, looming, powerful, beautiful - she is relegated instead to smaller, repeating statues of the same nature throughout the temple.

This diminishes the purpose of the original sculpture, which was to instill a sense of awe and wonder. The singularity that forces you to focus and appreciate the scale and intricacy. The aura, the gravitas of having a single, massive sculpture of such a dynamic figure is completely gone.

And to make things worse, they Mythal-ify her. Adding a helmed head and changing her beautiful feathered wings to leathery dragon wings. They don't even add arms, which is odd because the original sculpture very clearly is missing its arms.

And, may I ask, Why?

It feels cheap, like they saw the Winged Victory and were like 'oh shit this is a cool sculpture, we should add it in game' without giving any fucking thought to what the sculpture means.

Which brings me to the second gripe. The complete disregard for the symbolism of the Winged Victory.

Detail from the Athena fountain, Parliament Building of Vienna, showing Nike the Winged Victory in the palm of Athena's hand [source]

Nike is a minor Greek deity, said to be the daughter of Pallas (a Titan) and the river Styx. Her other siblings by the same parents include Zelus (Zeal),  Bia (Might) and Kratos (Strength).

Yes. That Kratos.

She was one of the earliest gods to pledge her allegiance to Zeus in the Titonomachy, and after the victory of the Olympians, Nike and the other gods that allied with them were allowed to live on Olympus. In her aspect as Victory, she is closely associated with several of the major Greek gods, and in particular, Athena.

There's also her Roman counterpart, Victoria. This version doesn't come with the backstory Nike has, but is more of a general concept of victory. This is the aspect that is present in a lot of the modern sculptures and interpretations of Nike/Victoria:

Left: Detail from the Berlin Victory Column. Right: Detail from the Victoria Memorial, London. Note the similar iconography, of a woman seemingly standing against a strong wind, fabric and cloth adhering and yet flowing against the breeze, wings outstretched.

From this, we can probably extrapolate what our beloved Winged Victory might've looked like. Here's an artist's render of one possibility:

There's some iconography we need to go through before moving on - symbols that are commonly associated with Nike/Victoria.

One is the trumpet as see in the reconstruction above, the sound and symbol of the end of war, of impending peace. Another is the laurel wreath, another Greek symbol of victory and achievement. Famously, laurel wreaths were used to crown victors of the original Olympic games.

This is another conversation entirely, but there’s a discussion to be had about the duality of Elgar’nan and Mythal, in term of vengeance and justice, and how an emotional rage versus a calculated wisdom can be compared to the difference between the two Greek gods of war – Ares and Athena.

If we can compare Mythal to Athena, in the sense of her wisdom in making difficult decisions, then it’s not a stretch to associate Mythal with the symbolism of Nike, and therefore explain the presence of statues similar to the Winged Victory in her temple.

But since Bioware absolutely did not put this in the game for anything other than the Aesthetic, there’s some problems that need to be addressed.

Mainly in the way in which these statues are scattered throughout the temple. If you wanted static, ominous statues to line the walls as your player characters explore, perhaps have like, I dunno. Less dynamic statues that you reference?

Left: Nike of Paionos, Right: Stele 1 of Las Incantadas

Or maybe instead of statues, have friezes lining the walls. Like this one from the equally iconic Pergamon altar, depicting the Giganomanchy.

It’s the same symbolism, the wings, the smiting of foes and victory of good over evil.

And then perhaps, at the heart of the temple... where, y'know Bioware, lay a body of water sacred to Mythal herself, you could've perhaps done something remarkable. You could then have had the most dramatic and beautiful entrance you’d ever seen.

[Nike, at the iconic Daru Staircase, the Louvre]

It was at this moment that Mythal walked out of the sea of the earth's tears and onto the land. She placed her hand on Elgar'nan's brow, and at her touch he grew calm and knew that his anger had led him astray. - Codex entry: Mythal: The Great Protector

Mythal herself strides out of the Well Of Sorrows, the metaphorical tears of her followers that died and kept their knowledge alive in her name. Her (draconic) wings spread out, (restored) hands outstretched to touch her husband, to calm the rage that nearly destroyed this world.

A symbol of victory against the blind rage of a god against His father, the Sun. A symbol of wisdom and grace, against the violence of hatred. A divine sense of something bigger than anything we could imagine.

There's also the lack of iconography regarding victory, instead piling on some cheap representations of what we think of as Mythal. That's another post entirely on the symbolism of the Elven gods, but if Bioware really wanted to hone in on the Athena/Athena Nike parallels, they might have thrown in the trumpet/laurel/palm leaf symbolism with the statues, alongside the dragon wings.

If this were the case, then maybe, just maybe, Inquisition would’ve then earned the use of this sculpture in the game.

Sources not listed above/Further reading if you're interested

https://www.louvre.fr/en/explore/the-palace/a-stairway-to-victory

https://www.worldhistory.org/article/1412/winged-victory-the-nike-of-samothrace/https://smarthistory.org/nike-winged-victory-of-samothrace/

https://smarthistory.org/nike-winged-victory-of-samothrace/

https://www.khanacademy.org/humanities/ancient-art-civilizations/greek-art/hellenistic/a/nike-winged-victory-of-samothrace

[thegutterbunny]

Leftism Tires Me.

I'm just gonna put this here because nobody's gonna see it anyways. I'm just trying to organize my messy ass thoughts. Lately, I've been feeling really disillusioned with leftism, but I don't have the proper words for why. Every time I try to google "leftists are annoying" or something all I get is right wing shit. A lot of this is based on experiences I've both IRL and Online. A lot of this is me struggling to put feelings to words. I feel like my personality just doesn't JIVE right with leftists. I'm pretty materialistic, I love stuff. Mostly books, games, kink gear, and clothes. I drool at other people's wardrobes and goth decorated bedrooms. I don't really care which online stores are the "bad ones". I DO want them demonias. They look cool. I like fan servicey/sexy character designs. They're hot. I want more hot characters that aesthetically appeal to me that I can gawk at. I hate when twitter users and talking heads pretend like they are above such "base tastes". I think people are too uptight about having a squeaky clean record of consuming media. Steering away from problematic artists and art into an ever-shrinking circle of "safe" art and artists. It should depend on what you're personally comfortable with, I think. I've dropped artists that I think are reprehensible. Not ever out of some sense of morality and duty, but because they gross me out and I can't look at them the same. Other artists do or have done terrible things, but that adds to the flavor somehow. Makes them more interesting and worth diving into. Sometimes it even humanizes them. Sometimes the art is SO GOOD I just don't give a shit. The constant emphasis on the collective over the individual is off putting to me. I think rules based on morality always end up having to be made arbitrarily because when building a moral system you ALWAYS run into contradictions and inconsistencies. This is because morality is this thing we made up. We don't find morals in nature. They weren't "discovered". Morality isn't divine. Morality is a TOOL. Which is why this idea that being a small part of something "larger than myself" freaks me the fuck out. Sacrificing pieces of myself... Be it my time, my identity, my aspirations, and my body to a machine called "revolution" is off-putting in an existential way. "Your feelings matter until they don't" is that unspoken leftist creed. Philosophers and philosophy enthusiasts are the most annoying irritating motherfuckers to be around. OH HOW I HATE THEM. NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER VENT OR SPILL YOUR GUTS TO A PHILOSOPHY NERD. NEVER MAKING THAT MISTAKE AGAIN.

Sometimes I feel like leftists are more concerned with defending leftism itself than actual people and their feelings. They sanctify the lens they view the world through other then the people they view through that lens. They can be just as biased, stubborn, and incurious as everyone else. Look, not everyone has the time or energy to look through constant studies or be scholars, I get it, but summa y'all just unthinkingly latch onto narratives and refuse to unclutch only because everyone else around you has latched onto the narrative too. The amount of times I've seen someone latch onto a narrative without even thinking about it... Just based on vibes... FUCK. This last one... Speaking as an autistic person... Is rough. Leftist spaces are SUPER cliquey and ran by the same Social Capital rules as anywhere else. There are the same invisible lines to tread here as anywhere else that torture me as someone who's blind to where they lay. Break and self censure yourself to fit in. Nobody's in disagreement. It's just you, and if you disagree we'll all quietly and silently move away from you without a word like everyone else. It depends on the exact space you're in. Whatever friend group or discord server, the feel can "change". People with the most charisma are rewarded with attention, admiration, and a feeling of belonging. Being awkward, shy, quiet, or having the neurodivergent "stench" makes to ostracized. Just. Like. Everywhere. Else. FUCK. YOU.

OK that's enough schizo posting. There's even more I could touch on, but I'm tired and I wanna play Silent Hill 2. If anyone who's read this has the time, what's the diagnosis? What should I do with myself? Am I beyond saving or whatever? I don't even want to "leave leftism" or whatever the fuck, but there's so much... Pressure... here. So much judgement. I want something better for myself but I look everywhere and I can't find it.

[livingasaghost]

okay i probably should not go down this rabbit hole but i think i deserve to do some andreil proposal/wedding headcanon because who cares!!

this is going to be inspired by these three posts because i cannot stop thinking about them

also the usual disclaimer: if this is bad or goes against your own personal headcanon....so be it<3

when andrew finally accepts that this is a THIS, he and neil do not talk about The Future

both of them know how quickly things can change and how you can't plan for anything in life because shit happens and life isn't fair and people always hurt you...so they just keep living in the present

but after a while it kind of becomes clear that neither one of them is going anywhere, even though neither of them actually believes it

more than that, they keep running into problems

like when neil plays a game for Court and ends up getting crunched against the wall and has to go to the ER and andrew has no idea where they took him because he wasn't fast enough to follow him and then when he finally gets to the hospital no one will let him back there and then when he almost attacks a nurse, kevin finally intervenes and lays on the charm to get the two of them back there to see him

and when they finally get in the room, neil is knocked the fuck out and that's when andrew decides that yeah fuck that we can't keep doing this

he doesn't tell neil he's decided this because neil will probably argue or try to run or come up with a bunch of excuses or worse he'll say yes

andrew asks renee for advice, and she doesn't make a big deal out of it because she knows that's the best way to get andrew to not want to do anything

so she decides to be casual

and by casual she actually just tells andrew that she had a conversation with katelyn that sounded like she and aaron were maybe thinking about getting engaged soon

andrew picks up his phone, intending to ask neil right there, but renee stops him and forces him to reconsider this proposal to at least do it in person

even so, there isn't a lot of fanfare

neil can sense something is off immediately when andrew walks in the door but he doesn't push him because he knows that's not the best way to get anything out of andrew

andrew won't look at him at all, doesn't say a word, just sits down next to him on the couch

neil: "drew?"

andrew:

neil:

andrew: "i don't want to wait for kevin to get me to you"

neil doesn't really know what he's even talking about, so he just kind of stares at him, waiting

andrew, actively staring at the wall: "this is not going to be some kind of fairytale shit and i refuse to get down on one fucking knee so yes or no?"

neil, finally having his lightbulb moment: "don't ask stupid questions"

andrew rolls his eyes because of course he'd get stuck with this one: "yes or no, junkie"

neil: "i already told you. it's always yes with you."

andrew: "this is different"

neil: "not the way i see it"

andrew: "this means no running away"

neil: "i stopped running a long time ago"

andrew really is going to kill this guy one day

they don't discuss real details until a few days later when neil asks if they have to have a "real" wedding or if they can just go to a courthouse and getting the papers signed

andrew was under the impression that that WAS a real wedding and thus it was the only thing they would be doing regardless

the two of them settle on a date — only a few days out because hey, might as well just get it done because "who knows the next time some fuckface is gonna kick your ass and land you in the hospital"

at first they decide they aren't going to tell anybody, but then renee asks andrew if he ever actually talked to neil and so she becomes the only person to know about this weird wedding thing

she keeps trying to convince them to tell everybody else, but that does not go over well

neil decides it's probably best if he dresses kind of nice for his wedding (even though he's a thousand percent certain that andrew is just gonna show up in his usual attire) and since he doesn't want to tell nicky what's going on (for everyone's sake), he calls wymack instead thinking he can just vaguely ask a few questions and wymack'll stay out of his business

wymack: "somebody better be dead for you to be calling me this late"

neil: "what are you supposed to wear to a wedding?"

wymack: "who the hell is getting married?"

neil: "me"

wymack: "are you fucking with me?"

neil: "andrew is sick of asking kevin to get him into my hospital rooms"

wymack: "maybe if you stopped going to the fucking hospital—"

even though neil didn't think he needed wymack there, he unexpectedly asks if coach'll be his best man.....and even though wymack is so sick of these idiot kids shortening his life-span, he can't help but say yes

so that is how the four of them end up at the courthouse, waiting for the judge to make it all official

that is, until andrew gets a phone call

neil doesn't see who it is when he picks up, he just watches andrew as he answers straightfaced

andrew: "we're at the courthouse....getting married.......coach is here.....no."

the others look at each other, but andrew keeps staring at the wall ahead of him

neil nudges his knee: "who was that?"

andrew: "nicky"

[zqmbiescorpse]

𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗧𝗛 𝗢𝗥 𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗘..

kaitlyn ka x female reader

a/n: i've been dying for kaitlyn fics, and just the quarry fics in general, because there's hardly any and that makes me want to cry. anyways, first thing i'm hopefully posting so no bullying pls. no werewolves! also sorry if the ending feels like it could be improved, i just really wanted to be finished with this <3

warnings: nothing serious, some making out

word count: 2.4k

(masterlist)

The joyous, fun atmosphere surrounding the gentle flicker of the campfire quickly disappeared, leaving the mood somewhat awkward as everyone who had remained (being Dylan, Ryan and yourself) turned towards Kaitlyn with a disappointed look.

"What?" questioned the small ravenette, sensing the glares from the three of you while she feigned innocence at the situation she, may have, intentionally, created.

"You totally ruined the party man," Dylan absentmindedly responded, taking a sip of whatever beer was left. All of you were a little tipsy, sober enough that thinking clearly wasn't an issue but drunk enough to feel a warm woozy sensation floating around your bodies.

In all truth, you weren't bothered in the slightest by the absence of Jacob, Abi, Emma or Nick. You did like them, sure, though being with them throughout the summer was often challenging - you typically found yourself enjoying the company of the others instead.

The four of you had stuck together for a large portion of the time, and you felt you'd become pretty close; so close that, naturally, you formed a humongous crush on the confident, very attractive, super cool dark-haired girl that was sometimes a little mean to you.

With Kaitlyn, you could never be quite sure about how she felt about you, there had been a few occasions where you doubted if she even liked as a friend. She was hard to read and you were a bit sensitive so, as you can imagine, things got tricky - having a ton of feelings for her only made you suffer greatly.

Then again, when these times occurred where you were miserable, Kaitlyn would periodically open up to you and let you know that, yes, she did appreciate you. Small moments of affirmation after so much doubt made you feel so unbelievably fuzzy inside. Unfortunately, the pair of you were tremendously insecure, because of this, there was a lot of dancing around each other the entire summer, similarly to Nick and Abi.

Suddenly desperate to relish in what could be the last evening with her, a rapid demand to continue the entertainment of 'truth or dare' came spilling from your mouth.

'Someone's...eager," Ryan chuckled slowly, glancing over at you and then at Dylan with a knowing glint in his eye.

Following this, Dylan offered, "Y/N's just disappointed she didn't get to smooch anyone this evening."

"You and me both, Y/N."

It was such a quiet array of words yet everyone heard Kaitlyn mutter them - nobody said anything back.

You were so hopelessly in love with her, that you couldn't help but hang onto anything Kaitlyn said that remotely resembled a reciprocation of feelings.

Shyly, you lifted your gaze from the muddy floor to your friends around you, careful not to stare directly at her gorgeous face. Whatever you were about to say next needed to be calm, one hundred percent normal and definitely not suggestive of anything.

With a brief amount of consideration and overthinking, you said, "Well, I don't know, what else is there to do right now? We can keep playing without the others."

You needed to stop working yourself up over such minuscule things; with Kaitlyn anywhere near you, you couldn't control yourself. Not being a fumbling mess was incredibly difficult.

"Yeah sure, why the fuck not?" Dylan chimed back in with a sense of glee, intrigued to see what would happen next.

"Cool alright, Kaitlyn?"

Deep down, it was clear to you that she would join back in, but part of you still inwardly thanked Ryan for ensuring that she was interested in continuing.

"I'm in, of course," A short pause. "You're a bit far away from us Y/N, you should get a bit closer, come here..."

Watching as Kaitlyn patted the empty space on the rough log impatiently, indicating you join her, an eruption of warmth covered your cheeks at her attention being on you; her wanting you next to her.

"Yeah, come on over here Y/N!"

Obviously, it didn't feel as special when Dylan said it, though, you appreciated how it got rid of some of the tension.

"Okay okay, yes, I'm coming," You spoke up, giggling, absolutely infected with giddiness that was bursting to show. You're sure it did, a big goofy smile plastered to your face as you made your way to the opposite side of the campfire. Apparently, the delight spread to Kaitlyn since you could've sworn she was attempting to mask an excited grin too.

Immediately, a soft scent of honey mixed with something floral was all you could smell, each and every time you inhaled. It made you feel very comfortable.

"Who wants to start it off this time?" inquired Ryan, yet your attention was instantly torn away from him due to the sensation of a soft, smaller hand brushing over your slightly sweaty one.

There was not a doubt in your mind. You had already jumped to the conclusion that it was intentional. From doing an action so small as turning away from you to face Ryan, how could Kaitlyn's hand touch yours in the process if it were on accident? There was no time to think rationally, you were already freaking out like mad. And she loved it.

"I'll go."

Leaving no room for arguments, Kaitlyn's head whipped back round to face you once more, this time with a playful theme prominent within her features.

"Y/N. Truth or dare," she asked, intently, her pretty eyes trained on your very nervous self.

You couldn't pick a place to focus your line of sight, eyes darting from her straight to the floor and back at your two shaky hands resting in your lap. Not in a million years were you prepared to answer 'dare'. In what world did you have the confidence.

Telling yourself it was the sensible response, you requested 'truth' like the jittery coward you are - to nobody's surprise but to Kaitlyn's disappointment.

"Tryna play it safe, are we, Y/N? I'm not letting you off that easily," was all she said as you sat there, patiently awaiting for whatever abomination that was heading your way.

Finally, you observed as her eyes lit up with a sudden delight; her full attention, once again, solely focused on you, not quite prepared for what was coming next.

"Out of everyone here, meaning me, Dylan or Ryan, who would you be the most interested in dating...and you have to answer otherwise it's no fun."

The situation wouldn't have felt awfully suffocating if it weren't for your stupid crush, which you were starting to suspect Kaitlyn was fully aware of. Her plump lips contorted mischievously into something smug - a perfectly arched eyebrow raised while she continued staring you down.

Because of the intense stare and immense amount of pressure you felt you were under, you missed a faint flash of worry flicker in her eye at your hesitation; uncertain whether or not her question had backfired on her.

Words couldn't describe the newfound urge tugging at your stomach to let her know that you so badly wanted to date her, to be with her, to kiss her. You couldn't handle rejection in the slightest but also couldn't bare the thought of letting this go on much longer - missing your chance when you had it.

You felt yourself tearing apart because of a silly crush on a girl who was way too good for you; evidently taking this unimportant game way too seriously. This time, you locked eyes with Kaitlyn, your heart racing, making an effort to bring any remnants of confidence together to prepare an answer.

"Uhhhh, I'd probably wanna date you, Kaitlyn?"

You had never experienced something simultaneously this underwhelming and overwhelming. Really, your response was very simple, basic, and not that huge. If, by chance, the beautiful ravenette was utterly disgusted by your answer it could be put down to merely a game and everyone would move on. You would be devastated but you'd get over it.

Having said that, repulsion was the last thing Kaitlyn felt regarding your answer, instead, a frantic fuel ignited within her. For a moment, she kind of just gawked at you, a bashful awkwardness radiating from your features.

"Truth or dare," she asked once more, this time the question coming across as more demanding, and a slight shake was apparent in her voice. Desperation spurred over her yet she seemed to be concealing it quite well, aside from the little chew on her lip while she awaited your answer, the nervous habit being the only indication of how Kaitlyn felt.

"Hey, what!" Dylan interjected, "Why are you going again, Kaitlyn? It's Y/N's turn."

Though you had to admit that Dylan's disapproval was amusing, you were too engulfed in whatever was happening between you and her. Nothing but you and her. Bathing in her alluring nature, you really did not mean to take this long to respond, you shouldn't be keeping someone that exquisite waiting.

"Dare..."

To outsiders, the atmosphere didn't appear tense at all. The luminous blaze of the golden camp, flickered and your chest tightened by the second.

"I dare you," Kaitlyn breathed out, her words trailing off implying a wane in confidence. Again, she was doubting herself, even when, at this point, the both of you had been as open as you could about your intense romantic interest for each other without explicitly saying anything.

You observed her complexion closely, each insecurity conveyed on her face made your heart rate increase consequently. You yearned for her to give in and do something to relieve all the built up anxiety, yet couldn't blame her too much since you found yourself incapable of initiating the first move.

An abrupt change conjured. Kaitlyn ostensibly bolder.

"I dare you to kiss me."

Silence. You inched forward but couldn't quite make it all the way. You didn't know what it was, something was holding you back. Also, with the audience of the two boys, you couldn't help your sheepish nature.

As though she couldn't handle it anymore, impatient because of your hesitancy, Kaitlyn took matters into her own hands and closed the gap, her soft lips meeting yours. Certain she would tease you about your failure to for fill the dare, you decided it was best to concern yourself with it later - a highly insignificant worry, really.

The kiss didn't last too long. The bliss you felt quickly overpowered by insecurity, and maybe disappointment too. You had hoped the moment you had been chasing for months would at least be longer than a few seconds. Grateful you got to kiss her, yet, you needed more.

"That was...terrible. I'm sorry," You mumbled bashfully, barely audible for Dylan and Ryan.

"Nu-uh baby, it was good," She whispered back, then tugging your face toward her once more.

Whereas the first peck was delicate, shy and over in a few seconds, in this instance, the kiss was deepened almost immediately. Her gentle hands cupped your flushed cheeks, promoting you to tightly grasp at her clothes. It took all of your power to not let any whimpers or whines escape you, making out with someone while other people were around was embarrassing enough as is.

"Okay...guys..." Ryan, being the first to speak up, broke the immersion, the two of you reluctantly pulling away from each other.

"Totally digging how happy you are right now, but, you know, lodge is empty..." Dylan chimed in, somewhat less awkward than Ryan.

You shared a look with Kaitlyn, your shortness of breath mirrored after your lips had been pressed against one another's for an extended period of time.

"Sounds great, thanks Dylan," Kaitlyn rose from her place seated on the log, enthusiasm oozing from her. "Let's get going huh, Y/N?" She proposed, laced with sultry.

You stayed seated, a little dumbfounded about the kiss and relishing in the electric sensation circulating in your body. Kaitlyn gripped your wrist, gaining your attention as her request caught up with you.

"Uh, yeah...yes we should go," Stumbling over your words, you got up, waved to Dylan and Ryan and began your journey back to the lodge. Incoherent mumbling could be heard from the pair left behind. You ignored it, giggling slightly and walked beside Kaitlyn.

When you arrived, you opened up the wooden door and stepped inside, Kaitlyn not giving you an opportunity to voice your opinion on anything; her mouth soon latched onto yours.

It was hungry, and you returned the passion. Although she may have been smaller than you, she still forced you up against one of the aging walls of the building; her tongue buried in your mouth. There was no fight for dominance, Kaitlyn was in control, not that you minded. It was such a rush, her lips all over your cool skin, your trembling hands in her dark hair, the occasional raspy chuckles from her, and the whines from you. Anything either one of you did spurred the other on wildly.

Eventually, distances had to be created since you couldn't keep going without catching your breath.

"I can't believe it took us that long to do this. We could've been having hot make-out sessions all summer" Kaitlyn beamed with genuine delight, her hands retreating from being all over you to placed on her hips, taking her usual sassy stance.

"I know," You agreed, laughing," I was so scared about being rejected"

"It's okay, I was equally terrified. Better late than never I suppose. At least we know now." The ravenette smirked, gazing into your eyes, entertained by how dishevelled you looked, encouraging her to admit, "I seriously am so fucking attracted to you."

Again, you let out a giggle, a noise that Kaitlyn thought was endearing. "Well, I've been fawning over you for like ages now." You blushed, the confession sparking a wave of heat to pass over you. Even though your actions had already said enough, disclosing the information made your shoulders feel externally lighter.

"It does really suck that it's the end of camp, going our separate ways and all" You continued, dejectedly. You were overjoyed that you were finally sharing these movements with Kaitlyn but hated yourself for holding off this long.

She examined your rapidly declining mood, likewise, she was regretful for waiting, however, not an ounce of uncertainty clouded her mind.

"What is there to worry about? Of course, we can stay in touch, I'm serious about this and...I do want to be with you." She reassured you, offering a loving smile filled with comfort. "Just give me your number, baby."

[flowerslut]

about the last ask you answered, at which point do you think rosalie started to like jasper? (I mean, actually like, and not just tolerate him) Also, isn't it canon that he's her favorite brother? I think they are like the cold pro-murder version of alice and edward but their personal mental issues won't allow them to act like best friends forever and stuff

oh I LOVE talking about rosalie (and jasper) and i'm delighted to see a follow up question about this, thank you anon 🤩

when did rosalie start to like jasper? my guess is in the range of 'anywhere between several months to years', which seems like a pretty wide span of time, but i'm sure the trajectory of rosalie's opinion/feelings on jasper went like: anger at him (and alice) being there, followed by toned-down frustration and annoyance, then a period of her just tolerating his presence that eventually morphed into acceptance, that led to a general feeling of comfort once he became part of the routine, and at one point that feeling of protectiveness she feels over her family probably extended toward him. rose and jasper strike me more as "actions over words" type of people tbh. I like to think that one of them stood up for the other at some point and that sense of loyalty was probably a kick off point for friendship between the two of them

but to analyze rosalie & jasper's relationship you kind of have to look at all of the cullen familial relationships; more specifically, the 'sibling' dynamics

edit: I did not mean for this to turn into a meta-length dissection of their characters, but whoops here we go:

canonically, rosalie is stubborn, intelligent, protective, loyal, vindictive, and fucking hates change. she craves normalcy—specifically the type that lets her pretend like she's not a vampire—and is more affected by, and therefore reacts stronger to, things she dislikes rather than the things that she likes, which is important to note. because that makes her a lot like edward—more like edward than any of her other 'siblings'.

rosalie and edward are alike in ways that cause them to bump heads more often than not—their worldviews are pretty similar, they both have a pretty significant measure of self-loathing/an issue with self-esteem (yes, even though rosalie knows she's hot, she's pretty unhappy with who she is) and they despise anything that messes with the status quo—but they think that they both have very different personalities, which I would categorize as their outward expressions of themselves. (they don't, but stick with me here)

there's a funny line in midnight sun where edward talks about how rosalie's "morbid" sense of humor is more in line with his than anyone else's in the family and, ignoring the fact that we all know edward doesn't have a sense of humor I think that it's because of the fact that they 1) both view the world similarly and 2) as rather 'bitchy' characters, their methods of expression fall in line with each others. in new moon we get to listen to edward cheerfully smash a television in a fit or rage, and in midnight sun edward braces himself for rosalie to fuck up his car because she's mad at him. TheyreTheSamePicture.jpg your honor

if you compare one attention-hog to another, they're going to both get pissy about it. rosalie can't stand edward's know-it-all tendencies and finds him pretty insufferable, and edward thinks she's selfish and shallow. they both view themselves as smarter, more reasonable, and 'better' than the other. ain't nothing is ever going to fix this.

"rosalie and edward are like oil and water" no, rosalie and edward are two types of vinegar that hate being combined in the same carafe because then you can't tell the difference between them and they both individually hate 1) not being the center of attention, 2) being compared to the other one, and 3) themselves 🤐 tbh, I don't think it's a coincidence that the two characters with the lowest self-esteem lowkey hate the character that is most like themselves...but let's move on from that tea ☕️👀

let's shift gears to jasper. jasper is reserved, sensible, intense, and appears to be quite mindful on the effect his presence has on others; probably because he knows what he looks like and he has the added benefit that he can feel how other's react in response to that. this is going to give him a pretty high degree of emotional intelligence and an automatic leg up in any social situation, which is why book jasper is so superior that movie jasper in my opinion 🤷🏼‍♀️ and why I can't read a lot of jasper/jalice fanfiction since people love to characterize him as hot tempered and 'edward-eque'

when you read the books jasper is just so? FUNNY? in midnight sun he's inventing stupid games with emmett. his friends come to visit and they spend their time playing vampire football (SHOW US THE VAMPIRE FOOTBALL SCENE STEPH YOU COWARD). in pre-epilogue twilight outtakes, he's holding hairdriers for alice while she queer-eyes bella.

in twilight/midnight sun he's standing on the steps and abiding by edward's "keep your distance" request when carlisle, esme, and alice welcome bella into their house; he's mellowing out the atmosphere so that these introductions go smoothly and so that bella is full-on VIBING, all while grinning at edward over everyone's head while the little scene progresses perfectly, who thinks "he was laying it on a little thick 🙄" (he even LAUGHS at edward when bella says something to the effect of "what CAN'T edward do?!")

but in bella's pov (and edward's) jasper is portrayed as this miserably suffering little guy who only gives a shit about alice (hot) and is often characterized as 'weak' (ironic). but when you look at the way jasper actually acts, outside of the 'attending high school' bullshit, he seems to be having a pretty good goddamn time.

i'm not the first person in the fandom that thinks that rosalie deserves someone to fight more in her corner, since canon shows us that smeyer is unwilling to let that happen (even emmett isn't allowed to defend her in canon!) the only time we ever see anyone agree with her on a serious issue (minus the renesmee debacle, that we won't acknowledge here) is in midnight sun when she and jasper are the only ones who acknowledge the danger bella poses to them. and I think it would be silly to overlook that!!!!

jasper and rosalie share the same levelheaded ferocity that you would sort of expect from someone who knows that, as vampires, a little murder here and there is necessary to keep you and your loved ones safe. so we get this really interesting framing of their characters via edward & bella and ultimately, via smeyer, where we're supposed to see them as 'less-than' because of this ruthlessness they possess. even stephenie, in interviews, has acknowledged that she doesn't understand why people love jasper and rosalie so much, which is so funny to me since?? they're two of the most interesting cullens?? like steph, you made both of their fucked up backstories central focus in book three? they're two characters ready to kill for the ones they love at a moment's notice, and you think us girls and gays aren't going to LATCH onto that?? you're surprised by that? kdgfhjksdg??? don't admit that out loud girl, that's embarrassinggggg 💀

also it's important to talk about how rosalie is the survivor of a violently traumatic sexual assault that was the catalyst to her loss of humanity and gaining immortality. she joins the family in 1933, is miserable and angry and resentful, but things get a little "better" in 1935 after she finds emmett and he joins the family. then, 15 years pass.

so, imagine this: it's been almost 18 years that you've been immortal. you've been a vampire almost as long as you were a human, and you've had a hard time, but at least you have a little family who loves and cares for you, and you might not be happy but you're content. your life is stressful, but you're safe...when suddenly two strangers show up at the door. you're at home with your surrogate 'parents'—the world's biggest vampire pacifist and his wife, a woman who, like you, was also a victim of intimate partner violence—and now some girl and this fucking ragged-looking dog of a man are standing on your doorstep acting like they're about to move in????

sure, alice can win rosalie over with compliments, make-overs, carefully plotted and expertly tailored conversation, but what's jasper going to do??? in what world would he go out of his way to win someone, who doesn't even like him, over? using his gift is out of the question—rosalie would probably maim him—and the only way he's putting someone else's comfort and well-being above his own is if they're a <5 foot control freak whomst he's obsessed in love with

as far as rosalie is concerned, the facts are this: jasper is from the vampire 'south'. jasper has been through some shit. jasper has, therefore, done some shit (you don't survive in the southern wars for 80 years without committing atrocities). therefore, jasper isn't just scary-looking physically, but he's dangerous and he has a shitty control on his bloodlust. for rosalie, that would be a fucking recipe for disaster. honestly, I can see rosalie getting along better with edward during this period because of jasper. i'm sure jasper was on the receiving end of some nastiness for a good while there, but unlike edward, I can guarantee you he just kind of...let her do it. not in a way where he's like "alas...'tis what I deserve 😞" because again: jasper has that degree of emotional intelligence that a lot of the cullens canonically lack. he knows it's not really about him. he probably lets a lot of it slide off his back; sure, it would be nice if rosalie didn't hate his guts, but hey! it's better than war!

rosalie likely had to warm up to jasper over time, little by little. I can see her easing up after she adjusts to his physical presence, after she realizes that no, he's not as violent as his appearance implies, and after emmett starts getting chummy with him. I think once rosalie realizes she's the only person left who doesn't like or trust jasper, it would have her feeling frustrated or annoyed, and I think this would be when World's Sexiest Number One Schemer, alice cullen, pounces and finally starts creating situations that get them to interact more!!

after all, alice knows what it's like to have to wait a while to approach someone so they don't literally tear your head off 😈

I think alice was probably the architect to whatever helped jasper and rosalie bridge that gap, maybe with an assist from emmett or even edward! it isn't much of a stretch to jump from tolerating/being 'okay with' someone's presence to finding comfort with it or even enjoying it, and again: rosalie is someone who reacts stronger to shit she hates than the stuff she loves (the girl loves to be a hater, and who can blame her tbh?) so you'll probably hear more about her opinion on you if that opinion is negative 💀 (which is absolutely why she's such an antagonist in the series while she watches this edward/bella ridiculousness)

as for jasper being her "favorite brother"? well, it's a pretty low bar. jasper is competing with edward for that title. he wins by default 💀

anyways I don't have a great conclusion to all this rambling, but rosalie probably started viewing jasper as her brother LONG before she ever vocalized anything of the sort. i'm sure there was some sort of conversation or event where rosalie stood up for jasper or just said something complimentary to/about him that probably solidified their camaraderie more than one-on-one bonding or hangouts ever would. maybe her being willing to share her surname with him was that moment!! that action in and of itself is so telling man!!! I love the implications!! idk man their friendship (that we never really see in canon even if it's implied) means so MUCH to meeeeeeeeee. i love the Murder Twins ♡

[kariachi]

Think if you really wanted to even shit out so far as the Pern dragon worldbuilding, like for shit where Thread isn't a matter and the like, you would probably be best served letting dragons and whers take a solid seven-odd years to reach full maturity. This works better with their long lifespans alongside their size and such than the 2 years we see during Passes.

Like, that number works for firelizards, they're the closest we get in Pern to an ecological comparison to small prey species. They take a few years to get started and lay a lot of eggs once they have. Most small prey species reach breeding age faster, but we can balance that out with longer lifespans. I mean, according to MHoP riderpairs can and do regularly live decently into their hundreds, with fuckers still running around in their 110's, so it's not unreasonable to have dragonkin make it to 100 as long as they don't get taken out by disease, predators, or injury.

Though of course the greater dragonkin seem to run on a similar timeframe to the firelizards? I think? In canon? So technically you could make the lifespan for them even longer.

But then we look at MHoP and go 'wait a second, but'. Theory, based on the fucking Interval riders lasting long enough to get governmental recognition on our planet- that severe bond between rider and dragon affects senescence. Think about it, that lifespan is marked as abnormal, because it very much is, in-universe compared to your average folks. And it can't just be a healthcare access thing, because even the fucking Lords and Masters aren't managing that shit. The MasterHealer isn't managing that shit, so far as we know. Meanwhile, the critters the dragons were made from we're supposed to believe might be kinda-immortal. It makes just as much sense that the bond between rider and dragon lengthens the lifespan of the rider (if you're still running around fine at 110, you're probably gonna manage at least 120) and shortens that of the dragon.

('But Achi, Holth-' Dragons during a Pass (which we've already stated we aren't taking into account for this this is for shit where Thread, for one reason or another, is not a concern) are working themselves ragged training for and fighting in Fall. And that's just the fighting pairs, the golds are having to produce anywhere from 15 eggs every other years to 40 eggs twice a year depending on which of the books you're reading. This is the sort of thing we know causes faster aging and deterioration of the body. And even then the riders seem to be making it 70-80 years, and who knows how much longer Holth and Leri had in retirement.)

But then that's all if you want to play with that concept, one could always keep them making it to their 100s across the board. Personally if you do go with increasing the lifespan for greater dragonkin I wouldn't go over 250, with a larger 300 for fuckers who bond to species that live longer than them, but that's just what feels right to me.

Whichever way, it would make sense for greater dragonkin to take longer to mature just in general, and especially compared to firelizards given their higher intelligence. They need time to get those big brains up to snuff.

'But Achi, how would they even physically live that long-' I don't know! They're aliens! Maybe that third DNA strand is dedicated to repairing shit! Could be anything! These fuckers are telepathic, telekinetic, teleporting timetravelers, anything is possible!

If nothing else, it's a fun fucking concept.

[the-solar-system52]

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. YOU'RE FUCKING KIDDING ME.

(screenshot of past theory)

(end screenshot)

WHAT THE SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK.

IM SCREAMING. IM SHAKING.

IM GOING INSANE. IM EXPLODING.

IM ABOUT TO FLATLINE AND DROP DEAD.

I AM A PROPHET. I PROPHECISE.

Okay my insane luck aside, this is EXTREMELY interesting.

It is obviously a reference to the Charlie Chaplin mirror maze from 'The Circus'.

We will also most likely have some Negative shenanigans in this maze. But there's one theory I've been thinking of for awhile that I want to talk about now.

Who owns the House of Lead?

The House of Lead is the House of Paint's equal. Madras used to own Paint House, but then gave it to Hero. Whomever owns the house is able to, subconsciously or consciously, change the houses shape and form with their mind.

When the House was first introduced, I assumed The Butterfly owned the Lead House, since they fled to it after RGB fought them off. But now I'm not so sure. The House did trap them and make the door vanish, but it's clear The Butterfly is hostile and wants to attack them. So if they were able to control the house, why wouldn't they just throw an imaginary weapon at them or something? As of right now, RGB and Hero are just wandering around the house freely. Plus, we haven't seen The Butterfly anywhere in the house yet, and they'd have to be able to see RGB and Hero to manipulate what they interact with.

So, what if, Negative owned the House of Lead?

I've mentioned before how I think the houses are suppose to be metaphors for Negative and RGB, plus they share a similar black and white design.

In this page, the staircase looks a lot like Negative's eye.

This also puts the events of this chapter in new context. We don't know a lot about Negative's personality or motivations, but I'll still do my best to analyse what this means.

I think Negative wants Hero to tell RGB about him.

First, he traps them in the house, which forces them to have downtime to talk. Then, Hero starts explaining about Negative. Then, the aforementioned staircase.

But then, RGB tries to move away from the conversation and move onto something else. The second he does, they appear in the very symbolic mirror maze. Which I'm guessing will force RGB to confront Negative.

Why he want him to know, I dunno, but it does make sense for Negative to be able to see what they are doing, since it's implied he has RGB's memories.

Though, if we think about the theory that The Butterfly created Negative, or is related to him is some other way, then these parallels would still make sense if The Butterfly was the owner.

Its hard to say when we know so little about both characters goals and motivations, but if I had to take a guess now, I'd say Negative owns the house, but we'll have to see.

ANYWAY AAAHAHAHHSKSPAKAMAKAAOSKKSSJ IM SO EXCITED OH MY GOD AOSKSSSPPAPAK

[lovemebutleavemewild]

Leave it to the land - Chapter 7

The world has ended, it's over—except some people can't seem to accept that. Those same people think the cure lies in people like you and your little sister. And they're willing to do anything to find it.

The road to safety is a long one, and you're about to learn that it isn't one you can walk alone.

Read it on ao3

Tag list: @elentiyaiswriting @sxnshinebxcky

"This wasn't part of the plan, Gaz."

Kyle rubs his hands over his face for the hundredth time but Ghost doesn't relent.

"You were meant to get on the inside and see if they were making any strides with research, not invite them all back to one of our fuckin' safe houses."

"Yeah, well things went a bit tits up, didn't they? It took them a while to warm up to me and then the place got overrun. But Ghost, listen-"

Kyle lowers his voice and takes a step to close the distance between them, which isn't hard— he’s got them crammed into what looks like a linen cupboard and it’s cramped enough as it is.

"They are making progress, alright? More than we were managing-"

"Easy to do when you don't care if the people you test on live or die," Ghost gripes.

"You don't think I know that?" Kyle shouts,then stops, taking a breath and visibly calming himself.

"I know how they do things isn't right, but our lot weren't getting anywhere, alright? Not for months." Kyle looks wild-eyed now and Ghost reaches out a hand, shaking his shoulder roughly. That seems to help, seems to ground him slightly. He takes a deep breath and looks steadily at Ghost

"He's not going to test on humans, Si. We were able to take enough of his samples and equipment and he's going to finish his work without all that. He's going to find a cure."

He looks at Ghost fiercely, as if daring him to disagree. Simon, looking down at him, feels pity for his friend. But he also feels ... something else.

"So … that's not why you told her and the kid to come here?"

The pain on Kyle's face is answer enough.

"I'd never do that, never. Fuck, Ghost."

He turns away, running his hands through his hair again. After a few minutes, he looks up, looking even more desperate than he did before.

"You believe me, don't you, mate?"

And he does. But then he looks up at the ceiling. You'd been convinced to hang around, at least for the night, and you'd silently accepted Kyle's offer that you and Dot take his room, while he slept on a sofa downstairs.

"I believe you, mate. I’m just not sure she's going to believe it, mate."

And Gaz' silence is evidence enough that he agrees.

“Everyone pitches in here. That's how it works, no exceptions.”

It's the guy from the roof, Jeremy. He speaks flatly, with dislike in every syllable. Ghost doesn't mind, he's well used to people not liking him.

Except, strangely enough, you don't seem to dislike him as much now. You'd sat next to him this morning, at breakfast,which had been served in one of the other barns, squeezing Dot between you and the wall. Neither of you spoke but it was still the most civil meal you'd had in your time together.

After breakfast, when the room had emptied, you'd been approached by Jeremy. He'd felt you tense up as soon as the man sat across from you, which made sense, considering his eye was still swollen from where you'd hit him. Ghost smirked under his mask—you really had got him good.

“If you're staying, we'll assign you a job, based on your skills. We're trying to get set up to be totally self-sufficient here—running water, vegetable gardens, livestock. And, of course, we need round the clock security.”

He glances at Ghost, then quickly away.

“Kyle's already told us about you—you've been assigned to help there. But you,”

He looks at you and his mouth twitches up at the sides cruelly.

“What can you do?”

You tense up even more, then tilt your chin up.

“You don't think I'm up for doing security? I'm pretty good at holding my own.”

You look at him pointedly and Ghost huffs out a laugh. Jeremy flushes.

“That was a fluke,” he hisses. “You came at me from the side, I wasn't even looking in your direction.”

“Good thing the tier fives always announce themselves before they attack, then,” you say sarcastically.

Jeremy stands up, slamming his hands down on the table. To your credit, you don't flinch, just crane your neck back to keep eye contact.

“You're on security.” He jabs a finger in Ghost's direction, without looking away from you.

“You're on kitchen duty. Food prep.”

He leans in close, face a few inches from yours.

“And don't forget that you're working to feed two.” His eyes flicker to Dot for a second, then back to you. You're rigid now. He taps his hands on the table again, lighter this time.

“No slacking. Kitchen in 10 minutes. You find Kyle.” He points at Ghost and walks off.

“Dick,” you mutter and when Ghost laughs again, you almost smile. Almost.

You don't find another opportunity to smile all day.

The woman in charge of running the kitchen, Maureen, informs you that, with their “new arrivals”, their numbers are at over 50, with meals for all of them being cooked in the kitchen in the main house. That means there’s a lot of work. For both of you.

She's nice enough, gives Dot a brownie and sits her at the table with some sheets of paper to draw.

“This is just for today, y’hear? There’s a bunch of other kids running around here for you to play with. Some folks run classes for them during the day too, to keep them outta my kitchen. But just today you can stay close to your mom.”

“She's not my mom.” That shouldn't hurt, when Dot says that but for some reason, it does. You laugh it off.

“I'm not that old, even if I feel it sometimes. And I think I am here to stay so put me to work!”

You're doing your best to have a can-do attitude and Maureen is nice enough not to laugh at you.

She’s a big talker, jabbering away as you work, you cutting vegetables while she hacks apart a chicken at the table behind you. As it goes, it takes a while for you to get a word in edgeways.

“So, what was this place? Before the visitors came, I mean.”

“Safehouse. For members of the wider 141.”

“141?” you ask.

“You know, your man's unit. Old unit now, I suppose.”

“My m-, you mean Ghost?”

She nods.

“He was an original member, of course. Causing quite the stir, having two members here, I don't mind tellin’ ya’. Plus, Kyle spoke very highly of you at the meeting this morning, from what I’ve heard.”

Your head is spinning.

“Okay, I’m going to need you to explain this to me like I'm five years old. Please.”

You hear her put her knife down and turn around to find her watching you carefully.

“You really don't know?”

You don't know what it is you're supposed to know, which amounts to the same thing, so you shake your head.

“Neither of them told you? Huh.” She appraises you again, pursing her lips, then strolls around the table to lean against it, arms folded.

“The 141 were a military unit before all this happened. They were called in to help control the situation, back when the outbreak happened, but by the time they got back from overseas, that was impossible.”

You nod, following so far.

“They travelled to the main testing centre, I'm assuming to get some idea of what was going on, and when they got there, they were asked to help secure the testing centres, which they did for a while.”

She stresses this last sentence, seeing your lip curl.

“After a while, they started to disagree with how things were bein’ run. What they were doing to the people there-”

You don't know if you imagine her glancing at your wrist, where your tattoo is just visible. You fold your own arms.

“Anyway, they cleared out and started a new programme, still focused on finding a cure, just with different … different methods, I guess you could say. Some a’ the doctors there went with ‘em and this original crowd weren't very happy about that. Don't reckon they'll be happy that we've got a few more on our side now too.”

She glances out the window suddenly.

“Probably for the best your man got here. I got a feelin’ people here are gearing up for a fight—somethin’s brewin’ alright.”

“Argyle isn't on our side. Your side,” you correct. “He's evil, pure and simple and if he's pretending otherwise, it's only because he thinks there's something in it for him.”

Maureen raises an eyebrow.

“People do change, y’know.”

“Not that much,” your retort.

She looks at you for another second, then nods.

“Well, you're entitled to your opinion. Lord knows, I won't try and change it. And if Kyle says you're a good’un, I'll take that to the bank. Good boy, he is. Good head on his shoulders.”

She looks sideways at you, suddenly shrewd.

“He, uh, he know about you and Ghost? Is that why y’all argued?”

You feel your face heating.

“There is no me and Ghost,” you splutter. “We met Ghost and he wanted to find Kyle—I was just … just showing him the way.”

It sounds pathetic even to your ears, but Maureen just hums.

“Whatever you say, darlin’. I sure as hell won't try and change your mind on that neither.”

Dinner is served in the same room as breakfast and you and Maureen are expected to serve it.

“We’d usually have more help but the other girl is sick today,” Maureen tells you in an undertone. “Once we're done here, you're done for the day. There's another crew that does cleanup.”

The last hour of your shift passes in a blur. You dole out bowls of food, keeping one eye on Dot. Maureen had parked her at a table of kids around her age but the whole time you watch her she doesn't say a word. You're not sure what’s worse: the idea of her becoming comfortable around people her own age, with all the risks that come with trusting strangers, or the idea of her not being comfortable with anyone, ever.

When you're done, you hover, not sure whether to pull her away so the two of you can sit alone or not. While you're deciding, you accidentally catch Kyle's eye. He's looking at you from across the room and when you meet his eyes, he makes a gesture, like he wants you to come over. You recognise the back of Ghost's head from where he sits across from him.

You turn your head away, just in time to see that Dot has started talking to a girl sitting next to her. You haven't seen her speak to a kid her own age in years.

You stare for a second more, then plop yourself down at the closest table to eat your dinner alone.

[boilingcowboy]

my post agad head canons:

if these don't make sense or are out of character im sorry lol haven't read the books in a while

-it takes pip and ravi about a year to get where they were before and about two years to make it official to other people

-for everyone else it also takes at least a year if not almost two for pip to restore her relationships with her family and friends, except cara for cara its only about a year

-the hole process of restoring her relationships and why it took that long is mainly cus pip is still pretty cautious about not wanting to raise suspicion

-two years after agad pip cuts her hair (about shoulder length so she can still put it up and out of her face) or rather cara cuts pips hair while they're having a sleepover, its a bit choppy and messy but that's okay (yes this is a hint at the series lol) but also hair has memories and even tho pip knows it's silly but she dose feel a bit lighter

-the first time pip and ravi meet in person its two months after the "hey sarge, remember me ?" text and they agree for ravi to visit pip

-the plan was that they meet up, get food and then go back to pips dorm room to talk about everything they didn't on the phone but the plan kinda goes sideways because both of them end up trying and failing not to cry while sitting in ravis car for an hour after again failing to fully let go of each other after being near each other for the first time in what felt like years

-it takes both of them a while to realise that they can now text, call or see each other if they miss the other person after not being able to but after they realise "oh we are in each others life again like fully" that's when they become the most clingiest bitches to ever exist especially when they start to see each other in person more often

-and when I say clingy I mean CLINGY in like a "somehow they manage to touch each other every 5 fucking seconds" way like they'll be standing next to each other and one of them will loop a finger through the other persons belt loops, bumping into each other while walking, adjusting the other persons clothes/hair, sitting so close their thighs are touching, leaning on each other and that's like only in public it gets worse when it's just the two of them

-they do become less extremely clingy after a few months when they both realise "okay you're not going anywhere, you're not gonna leave me again, at least in the near future" and they feel more comfortable and less anxious (for the most part)

-after pip fully comes back into everyones life again her and cara have a shit ton of sleepovers, both of them sleep better at those sleepovers

-also on that note pip and ravi rarely sleep on different beds, they always end up sharing a bed no matter what cus one of them will wake up during the night and join the other

-the first time ravi stays the weekend at pips he gets one of those blow up mattresses (cus it's like both aren't sure how comfortable the other is and shit and it's all confusing) and they fall asleep talking only for ravi to wake up in the middle of the night to find pip awake (cus one nightmares and two insomnia) and when they notice the other is awake they kinda stare at each other for a sec before pip is like "ah fuck it, can- do you- uh ?" she doesn't even need to finish her sentence

-nightmares!!!! both of them have them and sleeping next to each other helps a lot cus a lot of the time their nightmares are about losing each other so waking up and immediately having that person there definitely helps!!!

-expect that one time ravi got up to get water and while coming back pip woke up from a nightmare and pip still in the nightmare seeing almost nothing but pitch black and a shadow over her punched ravi in the face, they got a night light to turn on whenever one of the got up in the night after that

[millenari]

Give me your mistocavity headcannons pls pls

I like the idea of Misto and Macavity finding something in each other that they don't get anywhere else, even in a platonic context. They share a lot of parallels with each other that the other cats don't have, and I like the idea of them being connected somehow. By fate or the Everlasting Cat or something like that-- I've seen hcs where Misto was made as a punishment or counter for Macavity specifically and I kind of like that.

Also theres something kinda funny about 'this guy was made as a personalized cosmic punishment for my evil deeds & represents everything I could have been if I hadn't decided to be so self-serving and cruel. we bone sometimes.'

Misto can actually be pretty brutal, though you may not get that impression from him if youve read my gold rush fic. He's pretty susceptible to ideas like justice and rightful vengeance, and is rarely upset inherently by the sight of violence.

However if he thinks a situation isn't Right, he'll stop at nothing to prevent it from happening, so Macavity has to be careful about what he lets Misto see. Not because Misto's a delicate flower who'll change opinions of Mac if he sees him Do A Violence, but because Misto will come out guns blazing if he thinks Macavity is being an asshole, and Misto's basically the only cat in London who can rock Macavity's shit if he so desired (without suffering major damage in return, that is)

On that note, by virtue of being able to teleport, Macavity cannot force Misto to do anything or keep him anywhere.

This pisses him off so fucking bad.

This makes Misto very smug.

The only way Macavity can 'make' Misto do anything is by virtue (virtue?) of manipulation, which unfortunately for Misto he tends to be pretty susceptible to. They are constantly playing 4d chess with each other, and Misto tends to assume anything that comes out of Macavity's mouth is at least 30% untrue and 80% said with an agenda.

Weirdly though, he finds that kind of freeing. Misto struggles with implication sometimes and worries a lot about being patronized/misled/etc by his peers pretty much constantly. But with Macavity he knows Mac is trying to fuck with him, so it kind of just takes all of the worrying about if it is happening right off the table.

When Macavity is being Relatively Normal he frequently reminds Misto of Tugger and it kind of freaks him out.

That being said, they tend to enjoy each other's company in good times. They have a similar sense of humor, and Misto's (fairly small) mean streak sometimes lines up with Macavity's.

Macavity kind of has this vision in his head of his Ultimate Relationship which is kind of this unconventional throuple-slash-harem with him, Misto, and Demeter- but he knows it wont ever happen because if he ever successfully captures Demeter Misto will let her go. So if he wanted to keep Demeter he'd have to run Misto off first.

So his options are either have all of Demeter (only if he succeeds in taking her) or have, like, half of Misto willingly. It's a constant conundrum for him.

Due to his particular singular focus and trend towards obsession Macavity will frequently neglect grooming himself (those uncombed damned whiskers) and due to being an insane neat freak Misto will just follow him around and comb through his tail or whatever. so youll have macavity getting a Mission Report from Henchcat #253 standing there Menacingly with his arms crossed but right behind him is this small man who's holding up all 35 billion metric tons of his fluffy tail doing the cat equivalent of giving him a blowout.

Misto frequently joins Macavity for varying jobs but doesn't contribute or anything. Sometimes he wanders off part of the way through but most of the time he just kind of watches. Oftentimes judgmentally. Like so:

[coldflasher]

so me and my friend had to put our flash (re)watch on pause for a while bc she broke her ankle so we haven't seen each other in a while, but we finally picked season 8 back up and. god. i don't even have anything funny or insightful to say about it because it's just bad. it's so bad. and i couldn't even put my finger on why it was so bad at first, but eventually my friend pointed out that like. NOTHING happens. the characters literally just stand in a circle and talk. then whenever something DOES happen they go "hey so this thing just happened, hold on a sec while i describe it word for word in case you missed it." there's no action 90% of the time and there's no meta of the week for the most part so every episode feels samey and directionless as we slowly crawl our way towards a resolution of a plotline that isn't particularly compelling anyway

the characters are flat and nothingy. barry, the main character of the show, does FUCKING NOTHING EVER. there was one scene where he was running down the street, which he obviously used to do in every single ep, and my friend was like "holy shit i feel like we haven't actually seen him RUN in ages" and she was right. the man whose WHOLE SUPERPOWER IS RUNNING VERY FAST DOESN'T RUN ANYWHERE ONSCREEN FOR LIKE SIX EPS STRAIGHT. we see him run in and out of rooms but never see a straight shot of him running TO anywhere. WHY?

then there's the fact that the overarching plots are bad. the characters are split into two factions that don't interact at all. iris having time sickness could be cool and interesting and there's lots of potential for interesting character work there, but instead of making anything happen they have her sit on a couch and not touch anything in case she erases it from the timeline.

at one point she literally GOES MISSING and barry just. DOES NOTHING?? im sorry, fuck whatever else is happening, you know if iris disappeared he'd be tearing the city apart looking for her but all that happens is cecile is like "omg barry i can feel that you're sad, what's going on??" and he's like "iris is missing, im worried about her." WHAT!! THEN FUCKING LOOK FOR HER YOU DINGBAT!! i've said this before but s1-4 barry would absolutely beat the shit out of this version of himself if he found out about this

and don't even get me STARTED on caitlin and her almost husband, the skeleton fire demon who eats grief---again, this had the bare bones (pun intended) of an interesting plotline; a meta that feeds off people's grief could actually be really powerful and interesting to explore, but he's a magic skeleton from another universe who tricks her by pretending to be her dead husband so it's just stupid. at one point the characters like "why are we doing this plotline now, 7 years after ronnie died?" and i'm like yes, why ARE we? because again, having caitlin fall prey to the manipulations of a malevolent force that feeds on grief would actually be very topical and interesting if it had happened in, say, s2, when ronnie had just died for the second time. if her grief was fresh and raw and painful it could be conceivable that she'd be desperate enough to go "well i thought he was dead once and he survived, maybe he did it again", and cling to that, allowing herself to be tricked into believing this evil sentient flame skull was really ronnie. but it's been SEVEN YEARS and she literally just got a new boyfriend who has no personality and who we never see again, so it doesn't make any sense and i don't care. also the show keeps trying to convince you to care by having caitlin go "ronnie was such a valuable member of the team, you knew and loved him!!" and it's like... did we though? did we really? he's never made a big impression on me personally. the only character who was close to ronnie and actually knew him was cisco and he's not here. they added a few flashbacks and a proposal scene to try and make us care more about the caitlin/ronnie relationship but they didnt do anything for me because i was too busy staring at danielle's terrible wig. like babes that is NOT what caitlin's s1 hair looked like, did you even try

the skeleton fire demon stuff is actually kind of enjoyable to watch at times purely because it's so fucking ridiculous, the whole thing is a trainwreck, so i did somewhat enjoy getting to make fun of it but JESUS CHRIST IT'S SO TERRIBLE. HOW DID THE SHOW FALL SO FAR. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

[spurgie-cousin]

I won’t lie, I check the Rod reddit daily just to see what the hell the family is doing, but some of the people on there are…yeah. I saw several people making posts like “Phillip if you happen to read this give the internet a sign” “there are people willing to help you” etc. Like yeah sure those posts could have been made the nicest intentions but it’s clear that none of them thought “why would this kid, who might be in some form of distress, read about all of us talking down on the only way of life he’s ever known and decide that WE are the best people to reach out to” (and also goes against the subs main rule about NOT contacting the family members directly)

That would be like if I was Josie Duggar and I wanted out and away from my family and WOACB was posting “Josie I can help you!”

1. I'm sure some of those people have good intentions, but I'm going to need them to be so fucking for real right now lmao. If Phillip even did a 2 minute search of his name on that subreddit, he'd see people ripping him apart for everything from his appearance to the way he writes to the things he's interested in. It's so common that they even have a special post category for him that's like "Hungary Phillip" or some shit 🥴

So the likelihood that he'd come to those people for help if he was familiar with that sub at all is laughable. Those guys really don't understand how they come off to like, even other people who hate Jill and David like myself, and especially if you were one of their kids, I can't think of a place that would feel less safe to reach out to.

2. Yea reddit and I have an abusive relationship lol, I'm on there a lot because there are some super niche subjects that I just can't find communities for anywhere else. At least not in the sense of being able to like, exchange ideas or thoughts or jokes with a large number of people, so as much as I complain about it I'll be on the site for the foreseeable future tbh. Although I'm going to continue limiting fundie reddit for my blood pressure's sake.

[fiddleturnips]

Bonding

This is an excerpt from a larger, incomplete chapter.

Stanley slammed the door on his way out. He didn't really have anywhere else to go, though, so he didn't go anywhere. He sat on the porch and smoked, staring at these unfamiliar Northwest mountains and thinking about how stupid it was that this dumb argument had apparently lasted decades.

Stan was on his second cigarette when Fiddleford came out. Stan didn't turn around, but he could tell it was him. His steps were trying to be heavy, but he probably weighed half what any Pines did including their Ma, and was barefoot besides. He stomped unmenacingly over and sat on the stair beside Stan.

"Can I bum one of those," he said. He was glaring out at the woods like he wanted to punch the whole mountain range in it's big stupid face.

Stan tapped one out and passed it. He shared his flame. Fiddleford took a huge drag that doubled the volume of his chest and hissed it out.

"Trouble in Paradise?" Stan joked.

"Thought I'd finally talked some sense into that man," Fiddleford snapped. "Always gotta be the smartest in the room, with his twelve cotton-pickin doctorates and his one man research grant, don't he get you can't solve everything with just smarts."

Stan suddenly decided he liked this guy. "Yeah. Yeah, it's always, oOooh, if I'm the biggest genius they ever saw then they have to crown me the king of fucking France or whatever. Everything that goes right, it's 'cause he was just better. Anything goes wrong was a fluke. Like, geeze, man, maybe if your entire future rested in a seventeen year old's ability to break the laws of physics it's the system that's the problem, y'know?"

"EXACTLY!" Fiddleford flung his arms out. It almost hit Stan in the face. "He did good in school, and I'm real happy for him, I really am! But it's like, we were in the same classes, and goshdurn it, I was better than him! So what's this magical force what makes him think everyone who didn't get where he did just didn't try hard enough?"

Fiddleford was starting to lose him now, but Stan got the impression the guy needed to vent from how loud it was coming out, so he didn't say anything.

"I tried, Doctor Stanford Pines, I tried till it almost killed me, and then I help you try til that almost kills me too! Maybe your dreams ain't worth all that!"

"Oh, yeah. And, like, maybe your dreams ain't everyone else's dream, too," Stanley said. It probably wasn't a fair thought, but it was one that came on him all the time in motels and WalMart parking lots: what the hell were dreams worth, if you went one way and he went the other and neither of you ever got to see each other again?

Fiddleford glanced over and huffed a smokey laugh. "Truth. Not sure how many daddies and doctor types need to hear that." Fiddleford wrinkled his nose. "Ack, forgot how foul these are."

"Then why'd you bum one?"

"Hoping to trick myself into thinking it was something stronger, I guess," he said, scraping out the lit end on the porch and leaving it in case Stan wanted the other half.

Stan side-eyed him. "You payin'?"

Fiddleford looked over at him in surprise. Then down.

Stan was peeking a baggie out of his inner coat pocket. It wasn't much, maybe half an ounce, and it was cheap shit. But hey. A sale's a sale.

Fiddleford didn't even ask. He just pulled a fifty, threw it at Stan, and snatched the bag. Stan passed him a box of rolling paper, and Fiddleford rolled first one, than a second, out with astonishing dexterity.

"Shit, you know your stuff."

"I had a social life in school."

He offered one to Stan, who lit them both up. Fiddleford lay back on the porch and sighed deeply.

"So. What's the story here?" Stan asked.

"Oh, Stanford's my best friend," Fiddleford said. "And as much as I hate to say it, your brother really is all that. Not only the biggest genius I ever met, but one of the best academics to boot. Brains alone don't get degrees."

"And now, uh, what's going on?"

"Oh, right. Sorry, we've been awful." Fiddleford sat up and occipied his hands by making more joints, resting his own on the stair between tokes. "Doctor Pines is here on grant money he got after groundbreaking solo research and a very impressive proof of concept at a conference a few years back. Now, I don't suppose you'd know much about academic politics, Mister Pines, but that is what we call a very big deal, especially when you look at what they gave him. And if I'm being completely frank, it's not primarily the work that's good. The man could convince the board to dig a canal in Arizona."

"What? Sixer?" Stanley laughed. He noticed, but didn't quite register Fiddleford's flinch at the name. "Guy never took a date to a school dance in his life."

"Maybe he ought've asked more funding admins."

Stanley chuckled. The weed was definitely helping.

"Anyhow, part of what he was doing here was building this big -" Fiddleford sucked from his joint, gestured lamely, lost his words - "I don't know how to describe it in plain speak. It's a doohickey."

"A doohicky."

"Portal, let's say. Real spaceman bullhockey. Let's just say, me'n him are close on the only ones as could do it, this stuff is mathematically on the edge of impossible."

"You an him, huh?"

"Oh, alright," Fiddleford said, grinning, rolling out the last of his little arts and crafts project. "Me. I'm the only one could build it. I weren't lying when I said I'm better'n him."

Stan coughed laughing. "Got a big head on your shoulders?"

"Hardly. I'm an engineer. Not an academic."

"Yeah, yeah. Smart guys. Look, I'm just a schlub."

Fiddleford's face fell. "Sorry, I don't mean that- oh, shucks, my wife always warned me I gotta watch what I say about that sort of thing. I didn't mean nothing by it. Having brains don't measure a man's worth, I know that more'n most."

"Aw, it's nothing," Stan said, made big-hearted and quick to forgive by the drugs. "You're good in my book."

Fiddleford was out of weed. He tucked what he'd made back into the bag and sealed it. When he gazed out at the woods this time, his anger had softened to irritation. "Anyway, I come out here to help him with his work. And believe me, it's good. He's got a one-of-a-kind opportunity here. But Stanford Pines is one of those Victorian types says discovery is all about taking risks, and let's just say when he takes risks I always seem to be the one who ends up with something broke."

"Aw man. I'm sorry. Seriously."

"First there was the Grenloblin, which is a horrid creature, by the way, then that cat-tannin' shapeshifter he kept as a pet even when it began to talk to us-"

"Wait, what?"

"And the gnome debacle keeps coming back to bite us, can't keep the windows sealed tight enough,"

"Gnomes?"

"And then that FUCKING demon."

Fiddleford abruptly stopped talking. He took another toke. His free hand was clenched into a shaking fist. Stan stared.

"What do you guys research, exactly?"

"Anomalies," said Fiddleford.

"Like, what, two-headed calves and shit?"

"That'd work. But Gravity Falls has gnomes."

"Little men in red hats."

"Little men in red hats."

"You're shitting me."

"I swear to you I am not."

"Don't suppose the bud went bad..."

"You'll see in the morning. I'll show you."

"You just described a bunch of dangerous shit. And also gnomes, I guess. Do I want to see it all?"

"Believe me, the most 'dangerous shit' is in this house."

Stanley, being an idiot but not that much of an idiot, was about to press him further. They were interrupted by the door, though, and his dumb brother's disapproval.

"Are you two smoking cannabis?" Ford demanded. Stanley chuckled at how much he sounded like a pearl-clutching old woman.

"Yes we are, and you're partaking," Fiddleford said, pulling out a joint. "We're making up for lost time, come on."

Stanford glared daggers. "I am not."

Fiddleford fell back on the porch, stretched his legs out in front of him, and stared upside-down up at Stanford.

"You owe meeeeeeee."

Stanford kept glaring. Then he glared at Stanley, who shrugged.

"Did you bring this?" Ford snapped.

"Technically, but I didn't offer. He asked."

Fiddleford wiggled the outstretched joint.

Stanley had no idea the look on Stanford's face was, aside from uncomfortable, but the guy relented. He stepped forward, sat as far as he could from the other two, and gingerly picked up the joint. Stan tossed him the lighter, knowing very well that he wouldn't have his own. The other boys laughed at him when he struggled to get it lit right.

"Don't worry, Doctor Pines, I'm here for you," said Fiddleford in a fond, dreamy voice.

"Very reassuring, thank you," Stanford growled.

It was endearing. It was, hell, it was cute. Despite the blow-up inside, Stan was kind of... glad? that Stanford had apparently made an actual, honest-to-god friend.