#like it makes a lot of sense but we don't see it anywhere else!! fucking of course people would try to study the cataclysm!!

[dreamsteddie]

AITA Steddie Au Part Three

Part Two

Hello! Sorry for the delay! This week was very busy with student conferences and my own midterms so I haven't had a lot of time to work on this. This is more of an interlude building up to bigger things, but I hope you enjoy it!

Also! Get in the comments if you have any ideas of an actual name for this series so I can stop calling it AITA Steeddie Au. I can't think of anything good 😓

------

Eddie takes Steve on that second date.

And then a third and a fourth and eventually he stops counting because he's seeing Steve as often as he can between their jobs and other responsibilities. He feels high off it, giddy with possibility and hope for this new thing that he's never had before.

Eddie has done relationships before, a couple of times. A small handful of boys and girls he took out on dates and tried his best to woo all went up in flames one way or another, but none of those relationships left him feeling so gone so fast. He felt like he was always holding himself back from giving himself up completely, too afraid of falling without a safety net to reach for that deep devotion he's always craved.

Steve makes him feel like they're plunging into that unknown together.

Still, no matter how much he's been trying to avoid it, the looming specter of what the hell to do about his friends is looming over his head.

------

"Are you fucking serious right now dude?" Eddie asks, a complicated mix of righteous anger, humiliation for himself and Steve, and complete disbelief at Gareth's unwillingness to back down from this making it increasingly difficult to keep his cool.

"Look man, all I'm saying is that Steve is like, the complete antithesis of literally everything we stand for. He's a nepo baby business major who's never had an original thought in his life! I would know! I've read one of his papers." Gareth says, forced nonchalance coloring his tone and riling Eddie up even more.

He rears up, shoulders pushing back and hands grasping at the air like he could pull down his frustration from the either and condense it into a solid ball he could lob at Garteth's head to finally knock some goddamn sense into his brain.

"Hey, hey, hey. Okay, Eddie, I'm really sorry about this. It was a fucked up idea, I don't know what we were thinking." Jeff interveins before the frustrated banshy noises Eddie is letting out turn into another yelling match that won't get anyone anywhere.

"I think we just got too caught up wanting to help you get out of this rut and it all turned into something completely insane. You don't gotta forgive us Eddie, but if there's anything we can do to try and make up for it, we'll do it. Isn't that right Gareth?" Jeff pointedly asked with a look that says agree with me right now or else.

Gareth doesn't say anything.

The thing about all of this that Eddie just can't wrap his head around is the why. Why would his friends, his sheepies, do something so cruel? He knows none of them have ever looked kindly at people like Steve. Too many traumatizing high school humiliations behind them all to trust when someone who looks so much like all the guys who bullied them in high school tries to reach out, but Gareth and Jeff have never tried something like this. In fact, it's used to be Eddie doing most of the anti-jock revenge planning back in the day, even if nothing ever actually came from it.

He thought, incorrectly it seems, that they had grown out of the worst of it by now. It's been three years since Garteth graduated, and five since Eddie made his final attempt, and leaving their hometown behind did a lot to heal old hurts.

So why this? Why now?

"Is this seriously how it's going to be man? You won't tell me what the fuck any of this was really about and you're not even going to try and apologize? Seriously?" The righteous anger is starting to seep out of him, leaving behind a bone-deep exhaustion.

Gareth just continues to stare at him defiantly, not saying a word.

Eddie pinches his nose and takes a deep breath, "You know what? Fine. Whatever. If this is how it's going to be then I'm out. Jeff, I'll talk to you later, probably not for a little bit though. Gareth?" The other man lifts his head from where he'd been looking down at his shoes. There were tears in his eyes, just a little bit but enough for Eddie to clock it. Face red from some unnamed cocktail of emotions Eddie doesn't have the energy or desire to interrogate right now. "Call me when you're ready to grow the fuck up. I've got a second date to plan."

With that, Eddie turned on his heel and made for the open garage door.

"What about the band, man?!" Gareth called.

Eddie kept walking.

-------

That was over four weeks ago.

He hasn't spoken to Gareth for most of that time. The first couple of days he blew up his phone with angry to half-apologizing texts that Eddie promptly ignored. After the second day, he sent a single text back letting him know he didn't want to talk unless he had a real explanation and apology to give both him and Steve and that he was going to block his number for a little while. He could let Freak know if he was ever ready to talk like adults. Eddie trusted him to tell if Gareth was being genuine.

In other news.

Waking up to strong arms secured around his naked waist is fast becoming Eddie's favorite way to start the day. He and Steve slept together for the first time last week, and since then it's like neither of them can get enough of each other.

"Hey, baby." Steve rasps in his ear, tilting his head down to smear sleepy kisses onto his shoulder. The hand that was resting against his ribs meanders its way down to the trail of hair under his navel, scratching just a little and making Eddie feel like a contented mutt. He's not sure if he should feel horny or like he could sink into the mattress and sleep for another full 8 if Steve keeps holding him like his.

"Mornin' sweetheart." he says deciding that a couple more hours of sleep is definitely the way to go. Steve, it seems, has other idead.

"What you thinkin' about this early in the morning?" He asks, hand continuing to scratch lazily at Eddie's stomach like he's not completely destroying Eddie's will and ability to focus on anything but the warm body behind him.

But it's been a long time coming, and as much as he doesn't want to, Eddie needs to start thinking about what he wants to do about his friends? former friends? estranged family? band and Steve deserves to be a part of the conversation.

Eddie sits up, bringing Steve up with him to rest against the headboard. "I've been thinking about the band. Gareth and Jeff, that is." He pauses, waits for some kind of reaction that doesn't come. Steve looks concerned, but not in the way he thought he would.

"Ok." Steve responds, waiting for more.

"I guess I just don't know what to do." He looks out into the middle distance of Steve's bedroom. Takes in the display of swim, basketball, and baseball trophies displayed proudly on a shelf, catching the early morning light. "I'm still so fucking mad. It's honestly kind of irritating how mad it makes me to think of what they did. It was so fucking stupid."

Steve hums a little, letting Eddie get it out.

"But at the same time I can't help but fucking miss them. Miss the music and the campaigns and everything else." It's honestly been eating him alive, the mix of anger and longing he's been feeling for his friends. The constant longing to go back in time and stop them from concocting this shit show but also, like, stalk Gareth to his 8 AM Business class so he can run into Steve and they can fall in love at first sight or some shit.

Silence.

Steve shifts. Moves so he can look Eddie right in the face. He looks thoughtful in a way that Eddie had to get used to. Sometimes when Steve is thinking hard about something, he scrunches his face in such a way that it makes him look like he's judging you. He isn't, it's just an unfortunate fact of life that his baby has a resting Judgemental Face™.

Steve heaves out a big breath, bringing Eddie back down to earth. "I mean, I don't want to, like, cloud your judgement or whatever but maybe you should try and talk to them one more time. Jeff appologized right?"

And, ok that's definetly not what Eddie was expecting to hear. It must show on his face because Steve is suddenly looking away, embaraced.

"I just..." He trails off, taking his own turn staring out at the dull shine of his old acomplishments. Eddie watches as his face once again turns pensive as he stares harder at the remnents of his high school acheivements.

"I used to be a pretty shitty guy. Did the same kind of shit your buddies did a couple of times." This isn't necessarily news to Eddie. They've talked a little about who Steve was in high school and how much work he put into himself before he decided to go back to college. It's still a bit of a shock to hear, though.

"So I get how someone can make a mistake like that, y'know? So if you want to try and talk it out, I won't be offended. I know we're in this together, now." Peace said, Steve reaches for Eddie's hand and gives it a squeeze.

It hits Eddie again, just how good Steve Harrington is. It hasn't been long, not really, since they got together but they've fallen together so completley, so easily, that it's easy to forget that there's still so much they have to learn, so many layers for Eddie to peal back. Behind every judgemental remark and complaint about the frequent phone calls he gets from chuldren he used to babysit in his hometown is a man who cares deeply and is capable of great forgiveness, even if it hasn't been earned yet.

Eddie squeezes his hand back.

"Are you sure?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah, it's not we have to totally forgive them, right? But I think you need to get a real answer from both of them about why it happened. Maybe you can find a way past it, maybe they'll say something that puts the nail in the coffin." He responds.

Eddie takes a deep breath, and thinks.

Steve is right. Eddie isn't satisfied with any of the answers he got last time, and he knows that there has to be more to the story than "trying to get Eddie out of a rut" and he's not going to be able to put any of this to rest until he understands.

"Ok, yeah. I'll call them." Steve gives him an encouraging smile at that, rubbing the back of Eddie's hand where they haven't let go yet.

"Good, I'm glad. And I can come with you if you want. Hit em from both sides." he says. Eddie think's he'll take him up on that offer, but right now he had more imporant things to do. Namely, tackling his sweet boyfriend onto the mattress and having a mid morning tousle.

"We'll see. Right now I've got more imporant things to do." He says in his best aproximation of a sultry voice. He doesn't know how good it really is, but it seems to work based on the way Steve's eyes get hooded and he looks down at Eddie's mouth.

Gotcha.

Before Steve can lean down and kiss him, Eddie snaps his hands down to his boyfriend's sides in a well executed tickle atack. Steve immedietly jolts and starts howling with laughter, yelling between breaths that Eddie is "a fucking asshole" as he continues his relentless atacks.

Eventually, Steve manages to regain his bearings and go on the offence, turning them over and trapping his boyfriend's hands beneath his knees so he can atack Eddie's equally ticklish sides.

Once the late morning has passes into early noon and they've both settled back into Steve's signifigantly more rumpled be, Eddie takes one more moment to think about the furute to come before he shelves it. He knows that whatever conversation is to come, it won't be easy, and even if things go as smoothly as possible with Gareth and Jeff, things will never be the same between them all.

Looking down at Steve, who is sporting the most outrageous bedhead in human history, laughing at the stream of reals Robin sent him in the middle of the night, he thinks he'll be okay either way.

Tag List

@wheneverfeasible @the-dark-hearts @sofadofax @wrenisfangirling @whatfinestandsfor @lilpomelito @raisedbylibrarians @ollyxar @mugloversonly @xxbottlecapx @hezaaxdexangelous @kimsnooks @that-one-gay-crow @travelingtwentysomething @shoujo-wizard @stripey82 @live-laugh-love-dietrich @cr0w-culture @notaqueenakhaleesi @bookworm0690 @r0seprincess @estrellami-1 @little-annie @dreamercec @tinyplanet95 @rawrx3ky-txt @bexinator3000 @justalittledrainbamage @scarletyeager @themoonagainstmers @yesdangerpls @mydysfunctionallife @maverickricky @silentiumdelirium @i-amthepizzaman @samsoble @foolishness-and-confusion @dragonmama76 @gregre369 @thewickedkat @lexr86 @martinskis-lydias

[parfaitblogs]

present enough for me ❀ s. reid x reader

in which you're decorating your apartment with your boyfriend, you're all too clumsy, and really, who makes glass baubles these days? 

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: fluff tags: established relationship. decorating a christmas tree. mentions of blood. joking about murder and prison (it makes sense i promise). puts up with your shit!spencer reid.  word count: >1k a/n: short n sweet little thingy to keep us going this holiday season ♡

❄︎ advent calendar masterlist

Everything had happened so fast. 

One minute, you were hanging a bauble on the tree, Spencer's ever so familiar voice reverberating around the room as he recites information you had to applaud him for knowing. 

Facts like, "Did you know Germans celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve? Because technically, Jesus was born on the night of the 24th. It's like this for a lot of European countries, actually." And, "Orthodox Christmas is on January 7, because Orthodox centric countries like Serbia, Belarus and Russia follow the Julian calendar, instead of the Gregorian one we do."

And, unfortunately, Spencer Reid's info-dumping is not annoying, but attractive to you. You oftentimes find yourself keenly listening in as he rattles off facts about things you'll probably never understand to the extent he does. Though, he does love over explaining just so you can comprehend some part of it. 

It had, evidently, led to you becoming a bit too distracted by your boyfriend halfway across the living room, adorning the television with tinsel, and resulted in your hand slipping as it slid a bauble onto the faux snow tree branch. It had fallen, and shattered, shards of it exploding across the wooden floor. 

You curse aloud, taking an instinctual step back, eyebrows furrowing. 

"Are you okay, angel?" Spencer calls, and you cringe at the sight of the pieces of bauble on the floor, though nod your head regardless.

"Yeah. You should see the other guy," you mumble, crouching down to the floor to pick up shards of the bauble. 

"No, don't touch—" he's cut off by your hiss as the sharp edge of the bauble slices your skin, your other hand that was already nursing some pieces, closing into a fist around them.

"Fuck," you seethe again, all the shards dropping to the floor at your — arguably stupid — mistake.

"The first health and safety rule when you drop glass is don't pick it up with your hands," Spencer scolds, his slippers padding against the floor as he heads over to you. His hand wraps around your forearm and he picks you up, shaking his head. 

"Okay, well, what idiot makes glass baubles?" you retort. 

"What clumsy idiot buys them?" he shoots back, and you huff because, well, he's got you there. 

"You're supposed to be supportive and nurturing," you mumble, though you're sure if Spencer overbearingly attempted to console your injured hand immediately, you'd question if he's sick.

"I can multitask," he answers, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Up."

You jump off the ground as he picks you up, carrying your body over to the kitchen stool, where he sets you down, away from the crime scene that is a shattered, bloodied bauble.

"It looks like that bauble tried to murder me," you say, staring at the scene. 

"I'll put some caution tape around the tree until it goes to trial."

"I vote two consecutive life sentences."

"Two? What's the second one for?"

"Conning me," you grumble.

He laughs as he disappears into the guest bathroom, just to reappear with the bright red First Aid kit, placing it on the kitchen counter next to you.

"Hand, please," he says, standing in front of you, and you hold out your palm. "Oh yeah, this is pretty bad, huh?"

"I can handle it," you huff, puffing your chest up. "A soldier never shows fear."

"My brave girl," he says, using baby wipes to clean up the blood, gently. "Did it get you anywhere else?"

You shake your head, wincing at the pressure — however slight — over the cuts on your skin. "Just my hands."

He nods his head, and once the blood is cleaned, he's soothing them with some antiseptic cream, trying to keep his touch as featherlike as possible. 

"I liked that bauble too," you mumble as he begins wrapping a bandage around your hand. 

"It's the same as the thirteen other one's of its design in the pack."

"No. It was special," you reply, shooting a glare at Spencer, who surrenders almost immediately. 

"Okay," he slowly nods his head, only really indulging in your antics to humour you. And maybe himself. 

Once your hand was wrapped up, and Spencer had given you a kiss for your undeniable bravery, you were bounding back over to the tree to finish adorning it with trinkets and other decor. 

"Please be careful," he warns, though abandons his post on the other side of the living room to help you with the three. 

Just in case. 

"I'm super careful."

He shoots you a look, that you match with a shit-eating grin, and then you're delving back into decorating the tree. 

By the time you're done, you are not any more injured, and the tree is lit up with an assortment of colours and glitter, and you're smiling, leaning against the television cabinet to admire it. 

The television cabinet dressed with a collection of candles, candle holders, tinsel, and a festive table runner you forgot you even owned. 

A table runner your hand was resting on.

And Spencer was too late in warning you, and your hand swings forwards, before you trip and land flat on your ass.

He doesn't help you up this time.

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

[ronearoundblindly]

No pressure at all! But I had an idea for your ‘how would the Cevans characters react’ I’ve loved every installment of this so far 🥰🖤🥰

How would they react if reader was having an off day and for some reason couldn’t get off so she faked having an orgasm in bed.

Is this because of @cevansbrat0007's Ari fic? (which is great, go read that, but I feel like I've seen a surge in this trope since) Because, see, this is very interesting to me, and I really hope you've read other stuff of mine before, nonnie. I don't write everybody as a perfect gentleman...

Warnings for various levels of spice since we are, in fact, talking about orgasms, duh! MINORS DNI. See my Light Masterlist for all-age friendly fics!

James Mace

Ok, I'm not sure it would get so far as for you to actually fake it. Mace is a slow, steady, deep kind of lover. He'd realize you aren't getting anywhere or building up to it pretty quickly, all things considered, and he would make you talk to him while he continues foreplay/touching you. Pretty sure he just wants to be attached to you in some way while you have time together...

Curtis Everett

Curtis gets very intense when he senses you're holding something back, like predatorily intense. Uses his body to cage you in, constant eye contact, probably even pinching/tickling you until you confess.

He doubles down. You fake one; Curtis forces two out of you in return.

Jimmy Dobyne

Shockingly, Jimmy would be super upset if you faked an orgasm with him. (There is one caveat to this: IF HE FINDS OUT.) Jimmy is a straight-forward guy who doesn't enjoy dating games. You aren't into sex right now? Fucking say something. He's horrified by the idea you would just lay there and take it or whatever because what the fuck???

He's got simple rules. If you don't like something, tell him because he can handle himself for one night/a little while or he'll happily do something different. If you never want something he does, then you two shouldn't be together. That's it.

Sex is an important aspect of your relationship, but it ain't the whole thing. Tell him to piss off, or ask for a quiet night of holding each other. Do not lie, cheat, or steal. You lied about being satisfied, you cheated him out of the chance to actually give you what you needed, and you stole his confidence that he recognizes your body's signals. Yes, Jimmy sorta makes it about him, but that's mostly because he feels helpless and a little dirty.

Johnny Storm

Existential CRISIS.

Have you ever faked it with him before? Have other women faked it with him?? Is this a common thing??? Hot shot goes into full-meltdown mode, and unsurprisingly, you end up kinda lost in the narrative there, soothing him instead of yourself.

Oddly enough, you two do end up closer from the experience though because Johnny realizes that he very much values trust and honesty, whereas before he would have thought plain ol' fun the most important thing...

Jake Jensen

Jakey, my beloved, clueless noob... He doesn't really know what to do. He asks a lot of questions. What's wrong? What can he do? What do you want in this moment? Should he have done it differently? Do you need more? Something else? Was it him?

For a dozen times after, he'll ask if that one was real or fake. He's touchy about it, but 90% of his concern is just that you are actually happy. He puts in quite a bit of extra effort for a while after, too.

Lloyd Hansen

I am a broken record when it comes to Lloyd: he does not care. At best, he'd be torturing you to come for his own pleasure. At worst, well, he's there to get off. You don't need to.

If by some magical scenario Lloyd does give a fuck about you or your feelings, I think he'd expect you to take what you needed from him to climax. Otherwise, it's not really his problem.

Ari Levinson

Depends on his own mood for sure. When Ari is stressed or tired, he tends to turn inward and focus on his own feelings, not purposefully ignoring you but still. It reads like he didn't/doesn't notice and just continues on with sleep/the normal routine. If he's got the emotional, energy bandwidth to talk it out with you, he absolutely will. Don't take any offense. Sometimes he's muddling through like you.

Ransom Drysdale

Has no idea. Probably doesn't want to have an idea. Unless it becomes a regular problem, he's just gonna let it slide. He won't bring it up if you don't.

Steve Rogers

On the surface, Steve looks concerned and listens to your reasons for faking, but honestly, on the inside, he hates the idea that you felt the need to. Steve will easily forego sex in favor of literally anything you want to do, so to let it get all the way to love-making and apparently suffering through till he's finished? It makes him a bit sick. He'll get more more restrained and cautious in future, all for want of you never faking again.

Bucky Barnes

Feels like a huge failure as a partner. Spends a good portion of the conversation having you promise to communicate with him better from now on. This is from a man who has so many things going on in his mind that Bucky is often derailed from pleasure/enjoyment during sex. He's just very triggered by the darndest things, and you've been so understanding. Why can't he be that for you, too?

Thank you for asking!

A/N: I know these are a bit short. Let me know if there's one or more you'd like expanded on, but thank you for reading!

[Main Masterlist; 'Who Would...' Asks; Ko-Fi]

[zhuoyichenpretty]

aww yeah ep 20 GOOD

I guess I do (very casual, broadstroke) episode commentaries now, halfway through the show lmao. Spoilers below!!

Bai Jiu BETRAYAL?

Wen Xiao WANTED?

Zhuo Yichen DETECTIVE-ING?

Ying Lei BACK?

*crowd cheers*

The dots are connecting like crazy with the big bad's whole inner core crusade and also with the simultaneous demon case like I did not recognize Ao Yin as the demon Li Lun first released eight years ago but oooh do I enjoy that minor payoff.

Love the repeated use of the demonic-spell-restraining sigils now that we've been introduced to them though I wonder why the Bureau doesn't ever seem to make use of them. Maybe they don't deal with enough powerful demons to need to paint those in their own (very empty) dungeon? Or perhaps just plot convenience. (edit: someone has pointed out the Bureau indeed uses them!! I'm just blind <3)

Anyway I kind of wish in the Chongwu Camp dungeon PSJ fought a little bc she's so cool in action and their bailing was a little abrupt, but it makes sense that they'd have an immediate getaway plan. Also this is an ep 19 comment but that line Mr. 3-Face Mask delivered about PSJ being fated to always be betrayed by her little brother(s) HURT. So good.

Back to the Bureau, I do love me a good framing, and I'm also happy to get a tiny bit of the episodic demon-murder-case style back. WX was v clever to hide out in Situ Mansion, and (small detail but) I appreciate that the others catch her up on the Bai Jiu thing onscreen. As an aside, I also like that the actress for WX got to be double-casted even just briefly. Seeing some of the actors get to play around with portraying various extremes in characterization and costuming is a ton of fun.

And then yay Bai Jiu backstory at last~! It's crazy how much that blood moon fucked up everyone's lives eight years ago huh.

Everything ZYC says to him is on point (and honestly, ZYC is really quite adept at comforting others, he just sucks utter ass at it when it's his fault and he has to apologize lmaooo) but of course my favorite scene in the whole episode is as follows:

The very slight shine in the waterline, the bittersweet smile/grimace as, deliberately or not, ZYC's words indirectly echo everything about the circumstances between the two of them right now??? Whew. They did that for me specifically.

Anyway, this was a good one to chew on for me, packed with plot movement enough that I didn't feel unsatisfied with just one episode. I'm glad that so far it seems like the release schedule bears in mind what episodes should be watched in pairs for maximum effect (eps 16/17, 18/19 specifically) and which ones are okay to stand alone for the day, but I also don't want to speak too soon haha. We'll see how ep 21 fares.

Also since this is a ZYC stan account (lmao) I have some obligatory ZYC thoughts that I haven't managed to fit anywhere else. I've been meaning to comment on this for a while now and was reminded by this episode: I love the fact that ZYC actually smiles quite often. I think it's a bit surprising every time he does because he so easily fits the archetype of stoic broody action hero, but it really is just an archetype he's fit himself into, and it's never clearer than when they flash back to smiley baby!ZYC (how freely and purely he used to give those smiles away...).

On the other side of this is also how caustic and biting he can be with his words, whether sarcastically or otherwise, and how clearly his face telegraphs his emotions in general. I love that he actually emotes quite a lot and isn't cold and unaffected in the least, just pouty frowny and awkward.

The last piece to this for me is probably his age (which I very much appreciated being established super early on) and how convincingly TJR portrays him as young and inexperienced and extremely earnest. He's so sincere in everything he does that it really doesn't take much to move him, which also (imo) makes his arc less overdone.

We all know from the start what direction his development will likely go, how he'll learn he's mistaken about ZYZ and how he'll grow to have a more nuanced view of the world as he creates more bonds with others. But he's so emotional and emotionally aware that it doesn't really take much push and pull to get him there. And actually, it's not untread ground to him—he is moreso thawing, in part returning to the open-hearted nature that he had to very abruptly shutter away rather than fundamentally changing as a person. I think to me, that makes his character more compelling to watch because his cynicism about the world is perhaps the least sincere thing about him. It's entirely learned, and not by choice. Relatable.

[quitefair]

The Temple of Mythal and Greek Sculpture

Or: How Bioware takes from history without any nuance.

--

Picture this. You're me, playing Inquisition for the first time. You get to the Temple of Mythal, the doors shut behind you and you finally get to look around. It's a typical elven ruin for the game, nothing much seems different...

Hold on.

Hold the fuck on.

You know what that is.

You know what that's based on, and for a long time after it tickles you. Oh, maybe that meant something in the grander scheme of things! We've never seen such a blatant reference to a real-life sculpture anywhere else in game (to my knowledge at the time)! Maybe it'll come up later and it'll all make sense!

Here's the deal. I've been bothered by this for years. The more I think about it, the more angry I become. Anger over a single fucking type of statue, you say? There's a lot of other shit to be angry over in this game, and you choose this?

YES! I CHOOSE THIS! AND THIS IS WHY.

--

Picture this. You're me again, aged 14 this time. You're in the Louvre, the first museum of Western classical art you've ever been to. You've grown up in a place where this interest could only be cultivated from extra-curricular reading, and for a kid that age from my country to be ass deep in Greek and Egyptian myth is frankly lmao. Neurodivergent. Anyway.

So we're wandering around the Louvre, I've just taken my parents through the Egyptian section and given them a thorough infodump on everything I know about burial rites.

And then we enter this room. And I very nearly fall to my knees when I catch sight of her.

This is the sculpture the statues at the Temple of Mythal are based on - one Winged Victory of Samothrace.

She is a sculpture from the Hellenestic era, depicting the goddess Nike stood at the prow of a ship. Her head and both arms are missing, save one hand with two fingers (also in the Louvre but displayed separately). She was found on the Greek island of Samothrace, among the ruins of what was known as the Sanctuary of the Great Gods. It seemed like she was displayed at the top of a hill, looming down at all that regarded her.

I’ve had the absolute privilege of seeing her in person twice in my life, both before and after the 2013 restoration. And let me tell you, regardless of which staircase that leads you there, the sight of her will stop you in your tracks.

[Now with people, for scale.]

She is massive. Larger than life, and immediately is the centre of your attention. It's not the fact that she has no head, no arms. No, you will realise the closer you get to her, the more you're able to appreciate the details of this absolutely astounding piece of history.

No. It's because she feels so alive.

The way her robes drape against flesh, wet from sea-spray or rain, yet flowing with the motion of an invisible wind. The wings cast behind her dramatically as her right foot steps forward. Standing tall and proud, unflinching, unbowed against the elements. Even without her arms, you can feel how dynamic the torso and legs are.

You don't need to be an art historian, or even have any knowledge of Greek myth or art history to stand in front of her, as I once did as a young teen, and nearly be brought to tears.

So.

This brings me to the first of the two main gripes I have with the way this sculpture is used in Inquisition.

Compared to the way she's displayed in the Louvre, and also presumably how she was presented to her original audience - larger than life, looming, powerful, beautiful - she is relegated instead to smaller, repeating statues of the same nature throughout the temple.

This diminishes the purpose of the original sculpture, which was to instill a sense of awe and wonder. The singularity that forces you to focus and appreciate the scale and intricacy. The aura, the gravitas of having a single, massive sculpture of such a dynamic figure is completely gone.

And to make things worse, they Mythal-ify her. Adding a helmed head and changing her beautiful feathered wings to leathery dragon wings. They don't even add arms, which is odd because the original sculpture very clearly is missing its arms.

And, may I ask, Why?

It feels cheap, like they saw the Winged Victory and were like 'oh shit this is a cool sculpture, we should add it in game' without giving any fucking thought to what the sculpture means.

Which brings me to the second gripe. The complete disregard for the symbolism of the Winged Victory.

Detail from the Athena fountain, Parliament Building of Vienna, showing Nike the Winged Victory in the palm of Athena's hand [source]

Nike is a minor Greek deity, said to be the daughter of Pallas (a Titan) and the river Styx. Her other siblings by the same parents include Zelus (Zeal),  Bia (Might) and Kratos (Strength).

Yes. That Kratos.

She was one of the earliest gods to pledge her allegiance to Zeus in the Titonomachy, and after the victory of the Olympians, Nike and the other gods that allied with them were allowed to live on Olympus. In her aspect as Victory, she is closely associated with several of the major Greek gods, and in particular, Athena.

There's also her Roman counterpart, Victoria. This version doesn't come with the backstory Nike has, but is more of a general concept of victory. This is the aspect that is present in a lot of the modern sculptures and interpretations of Nike/Victoria:

Left: Detail from the Berlin Victory Column. Right: Detail from the Victoria Memorial, London. Note the similar iconography, of a woman seemingly standing against a strong wind, fabric and cloth adhering and yet flowing against the breeze, wings outstretched.

From this, we can probably extrapolate what our beloved Winged Victory might've looked like. Here's an artist's render of one possibility:

There's some iconography we need to go through before moving on - symbols that are commonly associated with Nike/Victoria.

One is the trumpet as see in the reconstruction above, the sound and symbol of the end of war, of impending peace. Another is the laurel wreath, another Greek symbol of victory and achievement. Famously, laurel wreaths were used to crown victors of the original Olympic games.

This is another conversation entirely, but there’s a discussion to be had about the duality of Elgar’nan and Mythal, in term of vengeance and justice, and how an emotional rage versus a calculated wisdom can be compared to the difference between the two Greek gods of war – Ares and Athena.

If we can compare Mythal to Athena, in the sense of her wisdom in making difficult decisions, then it’s not a stretch to associate Mythal with the symbolism of Nike, and therefore explain the presence of statues similar to the Winged Victory in her temple.

But since Bioware absolutely did not put this in the game for anything other than the Aesthetic, there’s some problems that need to be addressed.

Mainly in the way in which these statues are scattered throughout the temple. If you wanted static, ominous statues to line the walls as your player characters explore, perhaps have like, I dunno. Less dynamic statues that you reference?

Left: Nike of Paionos, Right: Stele 1 of Las Incantadas

Or maybe instead of statues, have friezes lining the walls. Like this one from the equally iconic Pergamon altar, depicting the Giganomanchy.

It’s the same symbolism, the wings, the smiting of foes and victory of good over evil.

And then perhaps, at the heart of the temple... where, y'know Bioware, lay a body of water sacred to Mythal herself, you could've perhaps done something remarkable. You could then have had the most dramatic and beautiful entrance you’d ever seen.

[Nike, at the iconic Daru Staircase, the Louvre]

It was at this moment that Mythal walked out of the sea of the earth's tears and onto the land. She placed her hand on Elgar'nan's brow, and at her touch he grew calm and knew that his anger had led him astray. - Codex entry: Mythal: The Great Protector

Mythal herself strides out of the Well Of Sorrows, the metaphorical tears of her followers that died and kept their knowledge alive in her name. Her (draconic) wings spread out, (restored) hands outstretched to touch her husband, to calm the rage that nearly destroyed this world.

A symbol of victory against the blind rage of a god against His father, the Sun. A symbol of wisdom and grace, against the violence of hatred. A divine sense of something bigger than anything we could imagine.

There's also the lack of iconography regarding victory, instead piling on some cheap representations of what we think of as Mythal. That's another post entirely on the symbolism of the Elven gods, but if Bioware really wanted to hone in on the Athena/Athena Nike parallels, they might have thrown in the trumpet/laurel/palm leaf symbolism with the statues, alongside the dragon wings.

If this were the case, then maybe, just maybe, Inquisition would’ve then earned the use of this sculpture in the game.

Sources not listed above/Further reading if you're interested

https://www.louvre.fr/en/explore/the-palace/a-stairway-to-victory

https://www.worldhistory.org/article/1412/winged-victory-the-nike-of-samothrace/https://smarthistory.org/nike-winged-victory-of-samothrace/

https://smarthistory.org/nike-winged-victory-of-samothrace/

https://www.khanacademy.org/humanities/ancient-art-civilizations/greek-art/hellenistic/a/nike-winged-victory-of-samothrace

[thegutterbunny]

Leftism Tires Me.

I'm just gonna put this here because nobody's gonna see it anyways. I'm just trying to organize my messy ass thoughts. Lately, I've been feeling really disillusioned with leftism, but I don't have the proper words for why. Every time I try to google "leftists are annoying" or something all I get is right wing shit. A lot of this is based on experiences I've both IRL and Online. A lot of this is me struggling to put feelings to words. I feel like my personality just doesn't JIVE right with leftists. I'm pretty materialistic, I love stuff. Mostly books, games, kink gear, and clothes. I drool at other people's wardrobes and goth decorated bedrooms. I don't really care which online stores are the "bad ones". I DO want them demonias. They look cool. I like fan servicey/sexy character designs. They're hot. I want more hot characters that aesthetically appeal to me that I can gawk at. I hate when twitter users and talking heads pretend like they are above such "base tastes". I think people are too uptight about having a squeaky clean record of consuming media. Steering away from problematic artists and art into an ever-shrinking circle of "safe" art and artists. It should depend on what you're personally comfortable with, I think. I've dropped artists that I think are reprehensible. Not ever out of some sense of morality and duty, but because they gross me out and I can't look at them the same. Other artists do or have done terrible things, but that adds to the flavor somehow. Makes them more interesting and worth diving into. Sometimes it even humanizes them. Sometimes the art is SO GOOD I just don't give a shit. The constant emphasis on the collective over the individual is off putting to me. I think rules based on morality always end up having to be made arbitrarily because when building a moral system you ALWAYS run into contradictions and inconsistencies. This is because morality is this thing we made up. We don't find morals in nature. They weren't "discovered". Morality isn't divine. Morality is a TOOL. Which is why this idea that being a small part of something "larger than myself" freaks me the fuck out. Sacrificing pieces of myself... Be it my time, my identity, my aspirations, and my body to a machine called "revolution" is off-putting in an existential way. "Your feelings matter until they don't" is that unspoken leftist creed. Philosophers and philosophy enthusiasts are the most annoying irritating motherfuckers to be around. OH HOW I HATE THEM. NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER VENT OR SPILL YOUR GUTS TO A PHILOSOPHY NERD. NEVER MAKING THAT MISTAKE AGAIN.

Sometimes I feel like leftists are more concerned with defending leftism itself than actual people and their feelings. They sanctify the lens they view the world through other then the people they view through that lens. They can be just as biased, stubborn, and incurious as everyone else. Look, not everyone has the time or energy to look through constant studies or be scholars, I get it, but summa y'all just unthinkingly latch onto narratives and refuse to unclutch only because everyone else around you has latched onto the narrative too. The amount of times I've seen someone latch onto a narrative without even thinking about it... Just based on vibes... FUCK. This last one... Speaking as an autistic person... Is rough. Leftist spaces are SUPER cliquey and ran by the same Social Capital rules as anywhere else. There are the same invisible lines to tread here as anywhere else that torture me as someone who's blind to where they lay. Break and self censure yourself to fit in. Nobody's in disagreement. It's just you, and if you disagree we'll all quietly and silently move away from you without a word like everyone else. It depends on the exact space you're in. Whatever friend group or discord server, the feel can "change". People with the most charisma are rewarded with attention, admiration, and a feeling of belonging. Being awkward, shy, quiet, or having the neurodivergent "stench" makes to ostracized. Just. Like. Everywhere. Else. FUCK. YOU.

OK that's enough schizo posting. There's even more I could touch on, but I'm tired and I wanna play Silent Hill 2. If anyone who's read this has the time, what's the diagnosis? What should I do with myself? Am I beyond saving or whatever? I don't even want to "leave leftism" or whatever the fuck, but there's so much... Pressure... here. So much judgement. I want something better for myself but I look everywhere and I can't find it.

[livingasaghost]

okay i probably should not go down this rabbit hole but i think i deserve to do some andreil proposal/wedding headcanon because who cares!!

this is going to be inspired by these three posts because i cannot stop thinking about them

also the usual disclaimer: if this is bad or goes against your own personal headcanon....so be it<3

when andrew finally accepts that this is a THIS, he and neil do not talk about The Future

both of them know how quickly things can change and how you can't plan for anything in life because shit happens and life isn't fair and people always hurt you...so they just keep living in the present

but after a while it kind of becomes clear that neither one of them is going anywhere, even though neither of them actually believes it

more than that, they keep running into problems

like when neil plays a game for Court and ends up getting crunched against the wall and has to go to the ER and andrew has no idea where they took him because he wasn't fast enough to follow him and then when he finally gets to the hospital no one will let him back there and then when he almost attacks a nurse, kevin finally intervenes and lays on the charm to get the two of them back there to see him

and when they finally get in the room, neil is knocked the fuck out and that's when andrew decides that yeah fuck that we can't keep doing this

he doesn't tell neil he's decided this because neil will probably argue or try to run or come up with a bunch of excuses or worse he'll say yes

andrew asks renee for advice, and she doesn't make a big deal out of it because she knows that's the best way to get andrew to not want to do anything

so she decides to be casual

and by casual she actually just tells andrew that she had a conversation with katelyn that sounded like she and aaron were maybe thinking about getting engaged soon

andrew picks up his phone, intending to ask neil right there, but renee stops him and forces him to reconsider this proposal to at least do it in person

even so, there isn't a lot of fanfare

neil can sense something is off immediately when andrew walks in the door but he doesn't push him because he knows that's not the best way to get anything out of andrew

andrew won't look at him at all, doesn't say a word, just sits down next to him on the couch

neil: "drew?"

andrew:

neil:

andrew: "i don't want to wait for kevin to get me to you"

neil doesn't really know what he's even talking about, so he just kind of stares at him, waiting

andrew, actively staring at the wall: "this is not going to be some kind of fairytale shit and i refuse to get down on one fucking knee so yes or no?"

neil, finally having his lightbulb moment: "don't ask stupid questions"

andrew rolls his eyes because of course he'd get stuck with this one: "yes or no, junkie"

neil: "i already told you. it's always yes with you."

andrew: "this is different"

neil: "not the way i see it"

andrew: "this means no running away"

neil: "i stopped running a long time ago"

andrew really is going to kill this guy one day

they don't discuss real details until a few days later when neil asks if they have to have a "real" wedding or if they can just go to a courthouse and getting the papers signed

andrew was under the impression that that WAS a real wedding and thus it was the only thing they would be doing regardless

the two of them settle on a date — only a few days out because hey, might as well just get it done because "who knows the next time some fuckface is gonna kick your ass and land you in the hospital"

at first they decide they aren't going to tell anybody, but then renee asks andrew if he ever actually talked to neil and so she becomes the only person to know about this weird wedding thing

she keeps trying to convince them to tell everybody else, but that does not go over well

neil decides it's probably best if he dresses kind of nice for his wedding (even though he's a thousand percent certain that andrew is just gonna show up in his usual attire) and since he doesn't want to tell nicky what's going on (for everyone's sake), he calls wymack instead thinking he can just vaguely ask a few questions and wymack'll stay out of his business

wymack: "somebody better be dead for you to be calling me this late"

neil: "what are you supposed to wear to a wedding?"

wymack: "who the hell is getting married?"

neil: "me"

wymack: "are you fucking with me?"

neil: "andrew is sick of asking kevin to get him into my hospital rooms"

wymack: "maybe if you stopped going to the fucking hospital—"

even though neil didn't think he needed wymack there, he unexpectedly asks if coach'll be his best man.....and even though wymack is so sick of these idiot kids shortening his life-span, he can't help but say yes

so that is how the four of them end up at the courthouse, waiting for the judge to make it all official

that is, until andrew gets a phone call

neil doesn't see who it is when he picks up, he just watches andrew as he answers straightfaced

andrew: "we're at the courthouse....getting married.......coach is here.....no."

the others look at each other, but andrew keeps staring at the wall ahead of him

neil nudges his knee: "who was that?"

andrew: "nicky"

[autisticalastor]

Southern Slang Guide

If you're trying to write a character from the Southern USA, look no further! We're from Alabama, and yes, we all talk like this.

General Phrases

Y'all — you all. The apostrophe goes after the Y, not the A.

Like to've — almost. As in "That car like to've hit me!"

(Damn) near (a)bout — almost. As in "It damn near 'bout killed me when he told my mama that!"

Fixin' to — about to. As in "I'm fixin' to make some tea if anybody wants some."

Over yonder — this could be literally anywhere. It is the least helpful answer to "Where is [thing/person/place]?" you could possibly receive. You will hear it a lot.

Ever lovin' — replacement for "damn" and its variants, usually. As in "Have you lost your ever lovin' mind‽"

Sweatin' like a sinner in church — If it's hot out, you can take this one literally. But if something "has you sweatin' like a sinner in church," it makes you nervous.

Hotter'n Satan's [body part (most often ballsack)] — it's extremely hot outside. Southerners have a pretty high heat tolerance, so this usually doesn't come out until 90°F/32°C or higher.

Colder'n a witch's titty in a brass bra — it's extremely cold outside (this is my favorite phrase ever). Southerners have a pretty low tolerance for cold, so this one comes out around 55°F/13°C or lower.

Talk proper — If you talk like a northerner/use formal English/etc., you're said to "talk proper."

Heavens to Betsy (& all her sisters & brothers) — mostly used by older people, just a general exclamation of dissatisfaction akin to "oh my god." Add the bit in parentheses if whatever your character is upset about is a real clusterfuck.

What in the Sam Hill — another exclamation of dissatisfaction, this one more akin to "what the fuck." Most often used as "What in the Sam Hill is going on here?" Who is Sam Hill? The Devil, probably. It's usually the Devil.

Knockin' on/at the Devil's door(step) — asking for trouble.

Grown folks' business — anything the adults don't want the kids asking them about.

Pitch a fit — throw a tantrum.

Fit to be tied — incredibly angry. As in "He was fit to be tied after his dog tore up the couch."

All tore up — messed up/hurting. As in "My stomach's all tore up after eatin' that fish."

Like a bat outta Hell — really fast. As in "She took off down that highway like a bat outta Hell."

Having a come to Jesus meeting — you are in SO MUCH TROUBLE. If someone says you're about to have a come to Jesus meeting, YOU FUCKED UP.

I reckon — I guess/I believe. As in "I reckon we might go on over to Mamaw & Papaw's house later."

Wore slap out — you're tired. As in "She was wore slap out after dealin' with them young'ns all day."

Knee high to a grasshopper — referring to when someone was a little kid. As in "Last I saw you, you was knee high to a grasshopper!"

Piddlin' around — wasting time/dillydallying.

Hug [someone's] neck — give a big hug. The bane of my existence as an autistic child in the South was being told "You go up there & hug their neck!" at family gatherings.

Makes you wanna slap your mama — it's damn good food. There's actually a Slap Ya Mama seasoning blend now, but the phrase came well before that.

Insults/Being Rude

Bless your heart — It's just a condescending phrase we use. No one ever says it because they like you.

Ain't got the sense [you/he/she/they] was born with — You're stupid or you lack common sense. Works either way. Regardless of the pronoun used, it's always "was," never "were."

Ain't got a lick of sense — another way to say someone's stupid or lacks common sense.

The porch light's on, but no one's home — we got a lotta ways to call you an idiot, okay.

Fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down — you're UGLY ugly.

Too big for [your/his/her/their] britches — you're too self-important/think you're better than everyone else.

I can't see through shit/muddy water — move, you're blocking my view.

Your daddy ain't a glass maker — same as previous.

Misc. Terms

Young'n — a child

Meemaw/Mamaw — your grandmother

Peepaw/Papaw — your grandfather

Your parents are almost always "mama" & "daddy," even after you're a grown adult.

Chitlins — this is a food nobody actually likes. Literally, everyone talks about that one family member who makes them, and nobody can stand the smell, much less actually want to eat them. If you want to know more about the food itself, look up "chitterlings."

Cattywampus — messy/askew. A stack of books at odd angles could be referred to as "all cattywampus."

Extra Notes

Yes, we really do leave off syllables and ending G. That's why I have so many words with apostrophes here lol. We do just talk like that.

"Sir" and "ma'am" are not optional when talking to people old enough to be your parents. They WILL pitch a fit if you don't use it.

We say "ain't" a lot, even where it isn't grammatically correct in standard English.

If you're ever speaking out loud (say for a podfic or audiobook), you don't say "have." It's more of an "uh" sound. Should've = shoulda. Would've = woulda. This is why so many people from the South write "would of" instead of "would have;" it's based on how we actually pronounce things.

Likewise, Southerners rarely say "I have." It's usually "I got."

We're big fans of running words together. "Lemme" (let me), "gimme" (give me), "wanna" (want to), "gonna" (going to), etc.

Related to above, sometimes we just say "I'ma" instead of any variant of "I'm going to." Especially if you're threatening someone, as in "I'ma slap that look right off your face."

We rarely say we're going to drive somewhere. Usually, it's "ride on over."

This is by no means exhaustive; I just tried to go with what's most commonly used! Any other Southerners are welcome to add stuff I missed!

《sera/al》

[zqmbiescorpse]

𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗧𝗛 𝗢𝗥 𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗘..

kaitlyn ka x female reader

a/n: i've been dying for kaitlyn fics, and just the quarry fics in general, because there's hardly any and that makes me want to cry. anyways, first thing i'm hopefully posting so no bullying pls. no werewolves! also sorry if the ending feels like it could be improved, i just really wanted to be finished with this <3

warnings: nothing serious, some making out

word count: 2.4k

(masterlist)

The joyous, fun atmosphere surrounding the gentle flicker of the campfire quickly disappeared, leaving the mood somewhat awkward as everyone who had remained (being Dylan, Ryan and yourself) turned towards Kaitlyn with a disappointed look.

"What?" questioned the small ravenette, sensing the glares from the three of you while she feigned innocence at the situation she, may have, intentionally, created.

"You totally ruined the party man," Dylan absentmindedly responded, taking a sip of whatever beer was left. All of you were a little tipsy, sober enough that thinking clearly wasn't an issue but drunk enough to feel a warm woozy sensation floating around your bodies.

In all truth, you weren't bothered in the slightest by the absence of Jacob, Abi, Emma or Nick. You did like them, sure, though being with them throughout the summer was often challenging - you typically found yourself enjoying the company of the others instead.

The four of you had stuck together for a large portion of the time, and you felt you'd become pretty close; so close that, naturally, you formed a humongous crush on the confident, very attractive, super cool dark-haired girl that was sometimes a little mean to you.

With Kaitlyn, you could never be quite sure about how she felt about you, there had been a few occasions where you doubted if she even liked as a friend. She was hard to read and you were a bit sensitive so, as you can imagine, things got tricky - having a ton of feelings for her only made you suffer greatly.

Then again, when these times occurred where you were miserable, Kaitlyn would periodically open up to you and let you know that, yes, she did appreciate you. Small moments of affirmation after so much doubt made you feel so unbelievably fuzzy inside. Unfortunately, the pair of you were tremendously insecure, because of this, there was a lot of dancing around each other the entire summer, similarly to Nick and Abi.

Suddenly desperate to relish in what could be the last evening with her, a rapid demand to continue the entertainment of 'truth or dare' came spilling from your mouth.

'Someone's...eager," Ryan chuckled slowly, glancing over at you and then at Dylan with a knowing glint in his eye.

Following this, Dylan offered, "Y/N's just disappointed she didn't get to smooch anyone this evening."

"You and me both, Y/N."

It was such a quiet array of words yet everyone heard Kaitlyn mutter them - nobody said anything back.

You were so hopelessly in love with her, that you couldn't help but hang onto anything Kaitlyn said that remotely resembled a reciprocation of feelings.

Shyly, you lifted your gaze from the muddy floor to your friends around you, careful not to stare directly at her gorgeous face. Whatever you were about to say next needed to be calm, one hundred percent normal and definitely not suggestive of anything.

With a brief amount of consideration and overthinking, you said, "Well, I don't know, what else is there to do right now? We can keep playing without the others."

You needed to stop working yourself up over such minuscule things; with Kaitlyn anywhere near you, you couldn't control yourself. Not being a fumbling mess was incredibly difficult.

"Yeah sure, why the fuck not?" Dylan chimed back in with a sense of glee, intrigued to see what would happen next.

"Cool alright, Kaitlyn?"

Deep down, it was clear to you that she would join back in, but part of you still inwardly thanked Ryan for ensuring that she was interested in continuing.

"I'm in, of course," A short pause. "You're a bit far away from us Y/N, you should get a bit closer, come here..."

Watching as Kaitlyn patted the empty space on the rough log impatiently, indicating you join her, an eruption of warmth covered your cheeks at her attention being on you; her wanting you next to her.

"Yeah, come on over here Y/N!"

Obviously, it didn't feel as special when Dylan said it, though, you appreciated how it got rid of some of the tension.

"Okay okay, yes, I'm coming," You spoke up, giggling, absolutely infected with giddiness that was bursting to show. You're sure it did, a big goofy smile plastered to your face as you made your way to the opposite side of the campfire. Apparently, the delight spread to Kaitlyn since you could've sworn she was attempting to mask an excited grin too.

Immediately, a soft scent of honey mixed with something floral was all you could smell, each and every time you inhaled. It made you feel very comfortable.

"Who wants to start it off this time?" inquired Ryan, yet your attention was instantly torn away from him due to the sensation of a soft, smaller hand brushing over your slightly sweaty one.

There was not a doubt in your mind. You had already jumped to the conclusion that it was intentional. From doing an action so small as turning away from you to face Ryan, how could Kaitlyn's hand touch yours in the process if it were on accident? There was no time to think rationally, you were already freaking out like mad. And she loved it.

"I'll go."

Leaving no room for arguments, Kaitlyn's head whipped back round to face you once more, this time with a playful theme prominent within her features.

"Y/N. Truth or dare," she asked, intently, her pretty eyes trained on your very nervous self.

You couldn't pick a place to focus your line of sight, eyes darting from her straight to the floor and back at your two shaky hands resting in your lap. Not in a million years were you prepared to answer 'dare'. In what world did you have the confidence.

Telling yourself it was the sensible response, you requested 'truth' like the jittery coward you are - to nobody's surprise but to Kaitlyn's disappointment.

"Tryna play it safe, are we, Y/N? I'm not letting you off that easily," was all she said as you sat there, patiently awaiting for whatever abomination that was heading your way.

Finally, you observed as her eyes lit up with a sudden delight; her full attention, once again, solely focused on you, not quite prepared for what was coming next.

"Out of everyone here, meaning me, Dylan or Ryan, who would you be the most interested in dating...and you have to answer otherwise it's no fun."

The situation wouldn't have felt awfully suffocating if it weren't for your stupid crush, which you were starting to suspect Kaitlyn was fully aware of. Her plump lips contorted mischievously into something smug - a perfectly arched eyebrow raised while she continued staring you down.

Because of the intense stare and immense amount of pressure you felt you were under, you missed a faint flash of worry flicker in her eye at your hesitation; uncertain whether or not her question had backfired on her.

Words couldn't describe the newfound urge tugging at your stomach to let her know that you so badly wanted to date her, to be with her, to kiss her. You couldn't handle rejection in the slightest but also couldn't bare the thought of letting this go on much longer - missing your chance when you had it.

You felt yourself tearing apart because of a silly crush on a girl who was way too good for you; evidently taking this unimportant game way too seriously. This time, you locked eyes with Kaitlyn, your heart racing, making an effort to bring any remnants of confidence together to prepare an answer.

"Uhhhh, I'd probably wanna date you, Kaitlyn?"

You had never experienced something simultaneously this underwhelming and overwhelming. Really, your response was very simple, basic, and not that huge. If, by chance, the beautiful ravenette was utterly disgusted by your answer it could be put down to merely a game and everyone would move on. You would be devastated but you'd get over it.

Having said that, repulsion was the last thing Kaitlyn felt regarding your answer, instead, a frantic fuel ignited within her. For a moment, she kind of just gawked at you, a bashful awkwardness radiating from your features.

"Truth or dare," she asked once more, this time the question coming across as more demanding, and a slight shake was apparent in her voice. Desperation spurred over her yet she seemed to be concealing it quite well, aside from the little chew on her lip while she awaited your answer, the nervous habit being the only indication of how Kaitlyn felt.

"Hey, what!" Dylan interjected, "Why are you going again, Kaitlyn? It's Y/N's turn."

Though you had to admit that Dylan's disapproval was amusing, you were too engulfed in whatever was happening between you and her. Nothing but you and her. Bathing in her alluring nature, you really did not mean to take this long to respond, you shouldn't be keeping someone that exquisite waiting.

"Dare..."

To outsiders, the atmosphere didn't appear tense at all. The luminous blaze of the golden camp, flickered and your chest tightened by the second.

"I dare you," Kaitlyn breathed out, her words trailing off implying a wane in confidence. Again, she was doubting herself, even when, at this point, the both of you had been as open as you could about your intense romantic interest for each other without explicitly saying anything.

You observed her complexion closely, each insecurity conveyed on her face made your heart rate increase consequently. You yearned for her to give in and do something to relieve all the built up anxiety, yet couldn't blame her too much since you found yourself incapable of initiating the first move.

An abrupt change conjured. Kaitlyn ostensibly bolder.

"I dare you to kiss me."

Silence. You inched forward but couldn't quite make it all the way. You didn't know what it was, something was holding you back. Also, with the audience of the two boys, you couldn't help your sheepish nature.

As though she couldn't handle it anymore, impatient because of your hesitancy, Kaitlyn took matters into her own hands and closed the gap, her soft lips meeting yours. Certain she would tease you about your failure to for fill the dare, you decided it was best to concern yourself with it later - a highly insignificant worry, really.

The kiss didn't last too long. The bliss you felt quickly overpowered by insecurity, and maybe disappointment too. You had hoped the moment you had been chasing for months would at least be longer than a few seconds. Grateful you got to kiss her, yet, you needed more.

"That was...terrible. I'm sorry," You mumbled bashfully, barely audible for Dylan and Ryan.

"Nu-uh baby, it was good," She whispered back, then tugging your face toward her once more.

Whereas the first peck was delicate, shy and over in a few seconds, in this instance, the kiss was deepened almost immediately. Her gentle hands cupped your flushed cheeks, promoting you to tightly grasp at her clothes. It took all of your power to not let any whimpers or whines escape you, making out with someone while other people were around was embarrassing enough as is.

"Okay...guys..." Ryan, being the first to speak up, broke the immersion, the two of you reluctantly pulling away from each other.

"Totally digging how happy you are right now, but, you know, lodge is empty..." Dylan chimed in, somewhat less awkward than Ryan.

You shared a look with Kaitlyn, your shortness of breath mirrored after your lips had been pressed against one another's for an extended period of time.

"Sounds great, thanks Dylan," Kaitlyn rose from her place seated on the log, enthusiasm oozing from her. "Let's get going huh, Y/N?" She proposed, laced with sultry.

You stayed seated, a little dumbfounded about the kiss and relishing in the electric sensation circulating in your body. Kaitlyn gripped your wrist, gaining your attention as her request caught up with you.

"Uh, yeah...yes we should go," Stumbling over your words, you got up, waved to Dylan and Ryan and began your journey back to the lodge. Incoherent mumbling could be heard from the pair left behind. You ignored it, giggling slightly and walked beside Kaitlyn.

When you arrived, you opened up the wooden door and stepped inside, Kaitlyn not giving you an opportunity to voice your opinion on anything; her mouth soon latched onto yours.

It was hungry, and you returned the passion. Although she may have been smaller than you, she still forced you up against one of the aging walls of the building; her tongue buried in your mouth. There was no fight for dominance, Kaitlyn was in control, not that you minded. It was such a rush, her lips all over your cool skin, your trembling hands in her dark hair, the occasional raspy chuckles from her, and the whines from you. Anything either one of you did spurred the other on wildly.

Eventually, distances had to be created since you couldn't keep going without catching your breath.

"I can't believe it took us that long to do this. We could've been having hot make-out sessions all summer" Kaitlyn beamed with genuine delight, her hands retreating from being all over you to placed on her hips, taking her usual sassy stance.

"I know," You agreed, laughing," I was so scared about being rejected"

"It's okay, I was equally terrified. Better late than never I suppose. At least we know now." The ravenette smirked, gazing into your eyes, entertained by how dishevelled you looked, encouraging her to admit, "I seriously am so fucking attracted to you."

Again, you let out a giggle, a noise that Kaitlyn thought was endearing. "Well, I've been fawning over you for like ages now." You blushed, the confession sparking a wave of heat to pass over you. Even though your actions had already said enough, disclosing the information made your shoulders feel externally lighter.

"It does really suck that it's the end of camp, going our separate ways and all" You continued, dejectedly. You were overjoyed that you were finally sharing these movements with Kaitlyn but hated yourself for holding off this long.

She examined your rapidly declining mood, likewise, she was regretful for waiting, however, not an ounce of uncertainty clouded her mind.

"What is there to worry about? Of course, we can stay in touch, I'm serious about this and...I do want to be with you." She reassured you, offering a loving smile filled with comfort. "Just give me your number, baby."

[flowerslut]

about the last ask you answered, at which point do you think rosalie started to like jasper? (I mean, actually like, and not just tolerate him) Also, isn't it canon that he's her favorite brother? I think they are like the cold pro-murder version of alice and edward but their personal mental issues won't allow them to act like best friends forever and stuff

oh I LOVE talking about rosalie (and jasper) and i'm delighted to see a follow up question about this, thank you anon 🤩

when did rosalie start to like jasper? my guess is in the range of 'anywhere between several months to years', which seems like a pretty wide span of time, but i'm sure the trajectory of rosalie's opinion/feelings on jasper went like: anger at him (and alice) being there, followed by toned-down frustration and annoyance, then a period of her just tolerating his presence that eventually morphed into acceptance, that led to a general feeling of comfort once he became part of the routine, and at one point that feeling of protectiveness she feels over her family probably extended toward him. rose and jasper strike me more as "actions over words" type of people tbh. I like to think that one of them stood up for the other at some point and that sense of loyalty was probably a kick off point for friendship between the two of them

but to analyze rosalie & jasper's relationship you kind of have to look at all of the cullen familial relationships; more specifically, the 'sibling' dynamics

edit: I did not mean for this to turn into a meta-length dissection of their characters, but whoops here we go:

canonically, rosalie is stubborn, intelligent, protective, loyal, vindictive, and fucking hates change. she craves normalcy—specifically the type that lets her pretend like she's not a vampire—and is more affected by, and therefore reacts stronger to, things she dislikes rather than the things that she likes, which is important to note. because that makes her a lot like edward—more like edward than any of her other 'siblings'.

rosalie and edward are alike in ways that cause them to bump heads more often than not—their worldviews are pretty similar, they both have a pretty significant measure of self-loathing/an issue with self-esteem (yes, even though rosalie knows she's hot, she's pretty unhappy with who she is) and they despise anything that messes with the status quo—but they think that they both have very different personalities, which I would categorize as their outward expressions of themselves. (they don't, but stick with me here)

there's a funny line in midnight sun where edward talks about how rosalie's "morbid" sense of humor is more in line with his than anyone else's in the family and, ignoring the fact that we all know edward doesn't have a sense of humor I think that it's because of the fact that they 1) both view the world similarly and 2) as rather 'bitchy' characters, their methods of expression fall in line with each others. in new moon we get to listen to edward cheerfully smash a television in a fit or rage, and in midnight sun edward braces himself for rosalie to fuck up his car because she's mad at him. TheyreTheSamePicture.jpg your honor

if you compare one attention-hog to another, they're going to both get pissy about it. rosalie can't stand edward's know-it-all tendencies and finds him pretty insufferable, and edward thinks she's selfish and shallow. they both view themselves as smarter, more reasonable, and 'better' than the other. ain't nothing is ever going to fix this.

"rosalie and edward are like oil and water" no, rosalie and edward are two types of vinegar that hate being combined in the same carafe because then you can't tell the difference between them and they both individually hate 1) not being the center of attention, 2) being compared to the other one, and 3) themselves 🤐 tbh, I don't think it's a coincidence that the two characters with the lowest self-esteem lowkey hate the character that is most like themselves...but let's move on from that tea ☕️👀

let's shift gears to jasper. jasper is reserved, sensible, intense, and appears to be quite mindful on the effect his presence has on others; probably because he knows what he looks like and he has the added benefit that he can feel how other's react in response to that. this is going to give him a pretty high degree of emotional intelligence and an automatic leg up in any social situation, which is why book jasper is so superior that movie jasper in my opinion 🤷🏼‍♀️ and why I can't read a lot of jasper/jalice fanfiction since people love to characterize him as hot tempered and 'edward-eque'

when you read the books jasper is just so? FUNNY? in midnight sun he's inventing stupid games with emmett. his friends come to visit and they spend their time playing vampire football (SHOW US THE VAMPIRE FOOTBALL SCENE STEPH YOU COWARD). in pre-epilogue twilight outtakes, he's holding hairdriers for alice while she queer-eyes bella.

in twilight/midnight sun he's standing on the steps and abiding by edward's "keep your distance" request when carlisle, esme, and alice welcome bella into their house; he's mellowing out the atmosphere so that these introductions go smoothly and so that bella is full-on VIBING, all while grinning at edward over everyone's head while the little scene progresses perfectly, who thinks "he was laying it on a little thick 🙄" (he even LAUGHS at edward when bella says something to the effect of "what CAN'T edward do?!")

but in bella's pov (and edward's) jasper is portrayed as this miserably suffering little guy who only gives a shit about alice (hot) and is often characterized as 'weak' (ironic). but when you look at the way jasper actually acts, outside of the 'attending high school' bullshit, he seems to be having a pretty good goddamn time.

i'm not the first person in the fandom that thinks that rosalie deserves someone to fight more in her corner, since canon shows us that smeyer is unwilling to let that happen (even emmett isn't allowed to defend her in canon!) the only time we ever see anyone agree with her on a serious issue (minus the renesmee debacle, that we won't acknowledge here) is in midnight sun when she and jasper are the only ones who acknowledge the danger bella poses to them. and I think it would be silly to overlook that!!!!

jasper and rosalie share the same levelheaded ferocity that you would sort of expect from someone who knows that, as vampires, a little murder here and there is necessary to keep you and your loved ones safe. so we get this really interesting framing of their characters via edward & bella and ultimately, via smeyer, where we're supposed to see them as 'less-than' because of this ruthlessness they possess. even stephenie, in interviews, has acknowledged that she doesn't understand why people love jasper and rosalie so much, which is so funny to me since?? they're two of the most interesting cullens?? like steph, you made both of their fucked up backstories central focus in book three? they're two characters ready to kill for the ones they love at a moment's notice, and you think us girls and gays aren't going to LATCH onto that?? you're surprised by that? kdgfhjksdg??? don't admit that out loud girl, that's embarrassinggggg 💀

also it's important to talk about how rosalie is the survivor of a violently traumatic sexual assault that was the catalyst to her loss of humanity and gaining immortality. she joins the family in 1933, is miserable and angry and resentful, but things get a little "better" in 1935 after she finds emmett and he joins the family. then, 15 years pass.

so, imagine this: it's been almost 18 years that you've been immortal. you've been a vampire almost as long as you were a human, and you've had a hard time, but at least you have a little family who loves and cares for you, and you might not be happy but you're content. your life is stressful, but you're safe...when suddenly two strangers show up at the door. you're at home with your surrogate 'parents'—the world's biggest vampire pacifist and his wife, a woman who, like you, was also a victim of intimate partner violence—and now some girl and this fucking ragged-looking dog of a man are standing on your doorstep acting like they're about to move in????

sure, alice can win rosalie over with compliments, make-overs, carefully plotted and expertly tailored conversation, but what's jasper going to do??? in what world would he go out of his way to win someone, who doesn't even like him, over? using his gift is out of the question—rosalie would probably maim him—and the only way he's putting someone else's comfort and well-being above his own is if they're a <5 foot control freak whomst he's obsessed in love with

as far as rosalie is concerned, the facts are this: jasper is from the vampire 'south'. jasper has been through some shit. jasper has, therefore, done some shit (you don't survive in the southern wars for 80 years without committing atrocities). therefore, jasper isn't just scary-looking physically, but he's dangerous and he has a shitty control on his bloodlust. for rosalie, that would be a fucking recipe for disaster. honestly, I can see rosalie getting along better with edward during this period because of jasper. i'm sure jasper was on the receiving end of some nastiness for a good while there, but unlike edward, I can guarantee you he just kind of...let her do it. not in a way where he's like "alas...'tis what I deserve 😞" because again: jasper has that degree of emotional intelligence that a lot of the cullens canonically lack. he knows it's not really about him. he probably lets a lot of it slide off his back; sure, it would be nice if rosalie didn't hate his guts, but hey! it's better than war!

rosalie likely had to warm up to jasper over time, little by little. I can see her easing up after she adjusts to his physical presence, after she realizes that no, he's not as violent as his appearance implies, and after emmett starts getting chummy with him. I think once rosalie realizes she's the only person left who doesn't like or trust jasper, it would have her feeling frustrated or annoyed, and I think this would be when World's Sexiest Number One Schemer, alice cullen, pounces and finally starts creating situations that get them to interact more!!

after all, alice knows what it's like to have to wait a while to approach someone so they don't literally tear your head off 😈

I think alice was probably the architect to whatever helped jasper and rosalie bridge that gap, maybe with an assist from emmett or even edward! it isn't much of a stretch to jump from tolerating/being 'okay with' someone's presence to finding comfort with it or even enjoying it, and again: rosalie is someone who reacts stronger to shit she hates than the stuff she loves (the girl loves to be a hater, and who can blame her tbh?) so you'll probably hear more about her opinion on you if that opinion is negative 💀 (which is absolutely why she's such an antagonist in the series while she watches this edward/bella ridiculousness)

as for jasper being her "favorite brother"? well, it's a pretty low bar. jasper is competing with edward for that title. he wins by default 💀

anyways I don't have a great conclusion to all this rambling, but rosalie probably started viewing jasper as her brother LONG before she ever vocalized anything of the sort. i'm sure there was some sort of conversation or event where rosalie stood up for jasper or just said something complimentary to/about him that probably solidified their camaraderie more than one-on-one bonding or hangouts ever would. maybe her being willing to share her surname with him was that moment!! that action in and of itself is so telling man!!! I love the implications!! idk man their friendship (that we never really see in canon even if it's implied) means so MUCH to meeeeeeeeee. i love the Murder Twins ♡

[kariachi]

Think if you really wanted to even shit out so far as the Pern dragon worldbuilding, like for shit where Thread isn't a matter and the like, you would probably be best served letting dragons and whers take a solid seven-odd years to reach full maturity. This works better with their long lifespans alongside their size and such than the 2 years we see during Passes.

Like, that number works for firelizards, they're the closest we get in Pern to an ecological comparison to small prey species. They take a few years to get started and lay a lot of eggs once they have. Most small prey species reach breeding age faster, but we can balance that out with longer lifespans. I mean, according to MHoP riderpairs can and do regularly live decently into their hundreds, with fuckers still running around in their 110's, so it's not unreasonable to have dragonkin make it to 100 as long as they don't get taken out by disease, predators, or injury.

Though of course the greater dragonkin seem to run on a similar timeframe to the firelizards? I think? In canon? So technically you could make the lifespan for them even longer.

But then we look at MHoP and go 'wait a second, but'. Theory, based on the fucking Interval riders lasting long enough to get governmental recognition on our planet- that severe bond between rider and dragon affects senescence. Think about it, that lifespan is marked as abnormal, because it very much is, in-universe compared to your average folks. And it can't just be a healthcare access thing, because even the fucking Lords and Masters aren't managing that shit. The MasterHealer isn't managing that shit, so far as we know. Meanwhile, the critters the dragons were made from we're supposed to believe might be kinda-immortal. It makes just as much sense that the bond between rider and dragon lengthens the lifespan of the rider (if you're still running around fine at 110, you're probably gonna manage at least 120) and shortens that of the dragon.

('But Achi, Holth-' Dragons during a Pass (which we've already stated we aren't taking into account for this this is for shit where Thread, for one reason or another, is not a concern) are working themselves ragged training for and fighting in Fall. And that's just the fighting pairs, the golds are having to produce anywhere from 15 eggs every other years to 40 eggs twice a year depending on which of the books you're reading. This is the sort of thing we know causes faster aging and deterioration of the body. And even then the riders seem to be making it 70-80 years, and who knows how much longer Holth and Leri had in retirement.)

But then that's all if you want to play with that concept, one could always keep them making it to their 100s across the board. Personally if you do go with increasing the lifespan for greater dragonkin I wouldn't go over 250, with a larger 300 for fuckers who bond to species that live longer than them, but that's just what feels right to me.

Whichever way, it would make sense for greater dragonkin to take longer to mature just in general, and especially compared to firelizards given their higher intelligence. They need time to get those big brains up to snuff.

'But Achi, how would they even physically live that long-' I don't know! They're aliens! Maybe that third DNA strand is dedicated to repairing shit! Could be anything! These fuckers are telepathic, telekinetic, teleporting timetravelers, anything is possible!

If nothing else, it's a fun fucking concept.

[lovemebutleavemewild]

Leave it to the land - Chapter 7

The world has ended, it's over—except some people can't seem to accept that. Those same people think the cure lies in people like you and your little sister. And they're willing to do anything to find it.

The road to safety is a long one, and you're about to learn that it isn't one you can walk alone.

Read it on ao3

Tag list: @elentiyaiswriting @sxnshinebxcky

"This wasn't part of the plan, Gaz."

Kyle rubs his hands over his face for the hundredth time but Ghost doesn't relent.

"You were meant to get on the inside and see if they were making any strides with research, not invite them all back to one of our fuckin' safe houses."

"Yeah, well things went a bit tits up, didn't they? It took them a while to warm up to me and then the place got overrun. But Ghost, listen-"

Kyle lowers his voice and takes a step to close the distance between them, which isn't hard— he’s got them crammed into what looks like a linen cupboard and it’s cramped enough as it is.

"They are making progress, alright? More than we were managing-"

"Easy to do when you don't care if the people you test on live or die," Ghost gripes.

"You don't think I know that?" Kyle shouts,then stops, taking a breath and visibly calming himself.

"I know how they do things isn't right, but our lot weren't getting anywhere, alright? Not for months." Kyle looks wild-eyed now and Ghost reaches out a hand, shaking his shoulder roughly. That seems to help, seems to ground him slightly. He takes a deep breath and looks steadily at Ghost

"He's not going to test on humans, Si. We were able to take enough of his samples and equipment and he's going to finish his work without all that. He's going to find a cure."

He looks at Ghost fiercely, as if daring him to disagree. Simon, looking down at him, feels pity for his friend. But he also feels ... something else.

"So … that's not why you told her and the kid to come here?"

The pain on Kyle's face is answer enough.

"I'd never do that, never. Fuck, Ghost."

He turns away, running his hands through his hair again. After a few minutes, he looks up, looking even more desperate than he did before.

"You believe me, don't you, mate?"

And he does. But then he looks up at the ceiling. You'd been convinced to hang around, at least for the night, and you'd silently accepted Kyle's offer that you and Dot take his room, while he slept on a sofa downstairs.

"I believe you, mate. I’m just not sure she's going to believe it, mate."

And Gaz' silence is evidence enough that he agrees.

“Everyone pitches in here. That's how it works, no exceptions.”

It's the guy from the roof, Jeremy. He speaks flatly, with dislike in every syllable. Ghost doesn't mind, he's well used to people not liking him.

Except, strangely enough, you don't seem to dislike him as much now. You'd sat next to him this morning, at breakfast,which had been served in one of the other barns, squeezing Dot between you and the wall. Neither of you spoke but it was still the most civil meal you'd had in your time together.

After breakfast, when the room had emptied, you'd been approached by Jeremy. He'd felt you tense up as soon as the man sat across from you, which made sense, considering his eye was still swollen from where you'd hit him. Ghost smirked under his mask—you really had got him good.

“If you're staying, we'll assign you a job, based on your skills. We're trying to get set up to be totally self-sufficient here—running water, vegetable gardens, livestock. And, of course, we need round the clock security.”

He glances at Ghost, then quickly away.

“Kyle's already told us about you—you've been assigned to help there. But you,”

He looks at you and his mouth twitches up at the sides cruelly.

“What can you do?”

You tense up even more, then tilt your chin up.

“You don't think I'm up for doing security? I'm pretty good at holding my own.”

You look at him pointedly and Ghost huffs out a laugh. Jeremy flushes.

“That was a fluke,” he hisses. “You came at me from the side, I wasn't even looking in your direction.”

“Good thing the tier fives always announce themselves before they attack, then,” you say sarcastically.

Jeremy stands up, slamming his hands down on the table. To your credit, you don't flinch, just crane your neck back to keep eye contact.

“You're on security.” He jabs a finger in Ghost's direction, without looking away from you.

“You're on kitchen duty. Food prep.”

He leans in close, face a few inches from yours.

“And don't forget that you're working to feed two.” His eyes flicker to Dot for a second, then back to you. You're rigid now. He taps his hands on the table again, lighter this time.

“No slacking. Kitchen in 10 minutes. You find Kyle.” He points at Ghost and walks off.

“Dick,” you mutter and when Ghost laughs again, you almost smile. Almost.

You don't find another opportunity to smile all day.

The woman in charge of running the kitchen, Maureen, informs you that, with their “new arrivals”, their numbers are at over 50, with meals for all of them being cooked in the kitchen in the main house. That means there’s a lot of work. For both of you.

She's nice enough, gives Dot a brownie and sits her at the table with some sheets of paper to draw.

“This is just for today, y’hear? There’s a bunch of other kids running around here for you to play with. Some folks run classes for them during the day too, to keep them outta my kitchen. But just today you can stay close to your mom.”

“She's not my mom.” That shouldn't hurt, when Dot says that but for some reason, it does. You laugh it off.

“I'm not that old, even if I feel it sometimes. And I think I am here to stay so put me to work!”

You're doing your best to have a can-do attitude and Maureen is nice enough not to laugh at you.

She’s a big talker, jabbering away as you work, you cutting vegetables while she hacks apart a chicken at the table behind you. As it goes, it takes a while for you to get a word in edgeways.

“So, what was this place? Before the visitors came, I mean.”

“Safehouse. For members of the wider 141.”

“141?” you ask.

“You know, your man's unit. Old unit now, I suppose.”

“My m-, you mean Ghost?”

She nods.

“He was an original member, of course. Causing quite the stir, having two members here, I don't mind tellin’ ya’. Plus, Kyle spoke very highly of you at the meeting this morning, from what I’ve heard.”

Your head is spinning.

“Okay, I’m going to need you to explain this to me like I'm five years old. Please.”

You hear her put her knife down and turn around to find her watching you carefully.

“You really don't know?”

You don't know what it is you're supposed to know, which amounts to the same thing, so you shake your head.

“Neither of them told you? Huh.” She appraises you again, pursing her lips, then strolls around the table to lean against it, arms folded.

“The 141 were a military unit before all this happened. They were called in to help control the situation, back when the outbreak happened, but by the time they got back from overseas, that was impossible.”

You nod, following so far.

“They travelled to the main testing centre, I'm assuming to get some idea of what was going on, and when they got there, they were asked to help secure the testing centres, which they did for a while.”

She stresses this last sentence, seeing your lip curl.

“After a while, they started to disagree with how things were bein’ run. What they were doing to the people there-”

You don't know if you imagine her glancing at your wrist, where your tattoo is just visible. You fold your own arms.

“Anyway, they cleared out and started a new programme, still focused on finding a cure, just with different … different methods, I guess you could say. Some a’ the doctors there went with ‘em and this original crowd weren't very happy about that. Don't reckon they'll be happy that we've got a few more on our side now too.”

She glances out the window suddenly.

“Probably for the best your man got here. I got a feelin’ people here are gearing up for a fight—somethin’s brewin’ alright.”

“Argyle isn't on our side. Your side,” you correct. “He's evil, pure and simple and if he's pretending otherwise, it's only because he thinks there's something in it for him.”

Maureen raises an eyebrow.

“People do change, y’know.”

“Not that much,” your retort.

She looks at you for another second, then nods.

“Well, you're entitled to your opinion. Lord knows, I won't try and change it. And if Kyle says you're a good’un, I'll take that to the bank. Good boy, he is. Good head on his shoulders.”

She looks sideways at you, suddenly shrewd.

“He, uh, he know about you and Ghost? Is that why y’all argued?”

You feel your face heating.

“There is no me and Ghost,” you splutter. “We met Ghost and he wanted to find Kyle—I was just … just showing him the way.”

It sounds pathetic even to your ears, but Maureen just hums.

“Whatever you say, darlin’. I sure as hell won't try and change your mind on that neither.”

Dinner is served in the same room as breakfast and you and Maureen are expected to serve it.

“We’d usually have more help but the other girl is sick today,” Maureen tells you in an undertone. “Once we're done here, you're done for the day. There's another crew that does cleanup.”

The last hour of your shift passes in a blur. You dole out bowls of food, keeping one eye on Dot. Maureen had parked her at a table of kids around her age but the whole time you watch her she doesn't say a word. You're not sure what’s worse: the idea of her becoming comfortable around people her own age, with all the risks that come with trusting strangers, or the idea of her not being comfortable with anyone, ever.

When you're done, you hover, not sure whether to pull her away so the two of you can sit alone or not. While you're deciding, you accidentally catch Kyle's eye. He's looking at you from across the room and when you meet his eyes, he makes a gesture, like he wants you to come over. You recognise the back of Ghost's head from where he sits across from him.

You turn your head away, just in time to see that Dot has started talking to a girl sitting next to her. You haven't seen her speak to a kid her own age in years.

You stare for a second more, then plop yourself down at the closest table to eat your dinner alone.

[millenari]

Give me your mistocavity headcannons pls pls

I like the idea of Misto and Macavity finding something in each other that they don't get anywhere else, even in a platonic context. They share a lot of parallels with each other that the other cats don't have, and I like the idea of them being connected somehow. By fate or the Everlasting Cat or something like that-- I've seen hcs where Misto was made as a punishment or counter for Macavity specifically and I kind of like that.

Also theres something kinda funny about 'this guy was made as a personalized cosmic punishment for my evil deeds & represents everything I could have been if I hadn't decided to be so self-serving and cruel. we bone sometimes.'

Misto can actually be pretty brutal, though you may not get that impression from him if youve read my gold rush fic. He's pretty susceptible to ideas like justice and rightful vengeance, and is rarely upset inherently by the sight of violence.

However if he thinks a situation isn't Right, he'll stop at nothing to prevent it from happening, so Macavity has to be careful about what he lets Misto see. Not because Misto's a delicate flower who'll change opinions of Mac if he sees him Do A Violence, but because Misto will come out guns blazing if he thinks Macavity is being an asshole, and Misto's basically the only cat in London who can rock Macavity's shit if he so desired (without suffering major damage in return, that is)

On that note, by virtue of being able to teleport, Macavity cannot force Misto to do anything or keep him anywhere.

This pisses him off so fucking bad.

This makes Misto very smug.

The only way Macavity can 'make' Misto do anything is by virtue (virtue?) of manipulation, which unfortunately for Misto he tends to be pretty susceptible to. They are constantly playing 4d chess with each other, and Misto tends to assume anything that comes out of Macavity's mouth is at least 30% untrue and 80% said with an agenda.

Weirdly though, he finds that kind of freeing. Misto struggles with implication sometimes and worries a lot about being patronized/misled/etc by his peers pretty much constantly. But with Macavity he knows Mac is trying to fuck with him, so it kind of just takes all of the worrying about if it is happening right off the table.

When Macavity is being Relatively Normal he frequently reminds Misto of Tugger and it kind of freaks him out.

That being said, they tend to enjoy each other's company in good times. They have a similar sense of humor, and Misto's (fairly small) mean streak sometimes lines up with Macavity's.

Macavity kind of has this vision in his head of his Ultimate Relationship which is kind of this unconventional throuple-slash-harem with him, Misto, and Demeter- but he knows it wont ever happen because if he ever successfully captures Demeter Misto will let her go. So if he wanted to keep Demeter he'd have to run Misto off first.

So his options are either have all of Demeter (only if he succeeds in taking her) or have, like, half of Misto willingly. It's a constant conundrum for him.

Due to his particular singular focus and trend towards obsession Macavity will frequently neglect grooming himself (those uncombed damned whiskers) and due to being an insane neat freak Misto will just follow him around and comb through his tail or whatever. so youll have macavity getting a Mission Report from Henchcat #253 standing there Menacingly with his arms crossed but right behind him is this small man who's holding up all 35 billion metric tons of his fluffy tail doing the cat equivalent of giving him a blowout.

Misto frequently joins Macavity for varying jobs but doesn't contribute or anything. Sometimes he wanders off part of the way through but most of the time he just kind of watches. Oftentimes judgmentally. Like so:

[coldflasher]

so me and my friend had to put our flash (re)watch on pause for a while bc she broke her ankle so we haven't seen each other in a while, but we finally picked season 8 back up and. god. i don't even have anything funny or insightful to say about it because it's just bad. it's so bad. and i couldn't even put my finger on why it was so bad at first, but eventually my friend pointed out that like. NOTHING happens. the characters literally just stand in a circle and talk. then whenever something DOES happen they go "hey so this thing just happened, hold on a sec while i describe it word for word in case you missed it." there's no action 90% of the time and there's no meta of the week for the most part so every episode feels samey and directionless as we slowly crawl our way towards a resolution of a plotline that isn't particularly compelling anyway

the characters are flat and nothingy. barry, the main character of the show, does FUCKING NOTHING EVER. there was one scene where he was running down the street, which he obviously used to do in every single ep, and my friend was like "holy shit i feel like we haven't actually seen him RUN in ages" and she was right. the man whose WHOLE SUPERPOWER IS RUNNING VERY FAST DOESN'T RUN ANYWHERE ONSCREEN FOR LIKE SIX EPS STRAIGHT. we see him run in and out of rooms but never see a straight shot of him running TO anywhere. WHY?

then there's the fact that the overarching plots are bad. the characters are split into two factions that don't interact at all. iris having time sickness could be cool and interesting and there's lots of potential for interesting character work there, but instead of making anything happen they have her sit on a couch and not touch anything in case she erases it from the timeline.

at one point she literally GOES MISSING and barry just. DOES NOTHING?? im sorry, fuck whatever else is happening, you know if iris disappeared he'd be tearing the city apart looking for her but all that happens is cecile is like "omg barry i can feel that you're sad, what's going on??" and he's like "iris is missing, im worried about her." WHAT!! THEN FUCKING LOOK FOR HER YOU DINGBAT!! i've said this before but s1-4 barry would absolutely beat the shit out of this version of himself if he found out about this

and don't even get me STARTED on caitlin and her almost husband, the skeleton fire demon who eats grief---again, this had the bare bones (pun intended) of an interesting plotline; a meta that feeds off people's grief could actually be really powerful and interesting to explore, but he's a magic skeleton from another universe who tricks her by pretending to be her dead husband so it's just stupid. at one point the characters like "why are we doing this plotline now, 7 years after ronnie died?" and i'm like yes, why ARE we? because again, having caitlin fall prey to the manipulations of a malevolent force that feeds on grief would actually be very topical and interesting if it had happened in, say, s2, when ronnie had just died for the second time. if her grief was fresh and raw and painful it could be conceivable that she'd be desperate enough to go "well i thought he was dead once and he survived, maybe he did it again", and cling to that, allowing herself to be tricked into believing this evil sentient flame skull was really ronnie. but it's been SEVEN YEARS and she literally just got a new boyfriend who has no personality and who we never see again, so it doesn't make any sense and i don't care. also the show keeps trying to convince you to care by having caitlin go "ronnie was such a valuable member of the team, you knew and loved him!!" and it's like... did we though? did we really? he's never made a big impression on me personally. the only character who was close to ronnie and actually knew him was cisco and he's not here. they added a few flashbacks and a proposal scene to try and make us care more about the caitlin/ronnie relationship but they didnt do anything for me because i was too busy staring at danielle's terrible wig. like babes that is NOT what caitlin's s1 hair looked like, did you even try

the skeleton fire demon stuff is actually kind of enjoyable to watch at times purely because it's so fucking ridiculous, the whole thing is a trainwreck, so i did somewhat enjoy getting to make fun of it but JESUS CHRIST IT'S SO TERRIBLE. HOW DID THE SHOW FALL SO FAR. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

[spurgie-cousin]

I won’t lie, I check the Rod reddit daily just to see what the hell the family is doing, but some of the people on there are…yeah. I saw several people making posts like “Phillip if you happen to read this give the internet a sign” “there are people willing to help you” etc. Like yeah sure those posts could have been made the nicest intentions but it’s clear that none of them thought “why would this kid, who might be in some form of distress, read about all of us talking down on the only way of life he’s ever known and decide that WE are the best people to reach out to” (and also goes against the subs main rule about NOT contacting the family members directly)

That would be like if I was Josie Duggar and I wanted out and away from my family and WOACB was posting “Josie I can help you!”

1. I'm sure some of those people have good intentions, but I'm going to need them to be so fucking for real right now lmao. If Phillip even did a 2 minute search of his name on that subreddit, he'd see people ripping him apart for everything from his appearance to the way he writes to the things he's interested in. It's so common that they even have a special post category for him that's like "Hungary Phillip" or some shit 🥴

So the likelihood that he'd come to those people for help if he was familiar with that sub at all is laughable. Those guys really don't understand how they come off to like, even other people who hate Jill and David like myself, and especially if you were one of their kids, I can't think of a place that would feel less safe to reach out to.

2. Yea reddit and I have an abusive relationship lol, I'm on there a lot because there are some super niche subjects that I just can't find communities for anywhere else. At least not in the sense of being able to like, exchange ideas or thoughts or jokes with a large number of people, so as much as I complain about it I'll be on the site for the foreseeable future tbh. Although I'm going to continue limiting fundie reddit for my blood pressure's sake.

[kimkhimhant]

I love the instinctual gravitation towards warmth it's one of my favourite pieces of fiction,, I'm curious what inspired you to write it/how did you come up with the premise

(no pressure to answer <3)

ahhhh hi thank you so much for the question and for reading TIGTW! i'm so glad you enjoyed it!!

honestly, there were a few things that inspired the particular plot, and all of it had to do with my own analysis of Kim as a character. if you hadn't noticed, i kind of obsess over him.

gonna start with two canon moments that influenced the direction of the story a lot:

this first one: kim staring at his empty hand after chay gets up, after kim himself was unable to say i love you. i think its a beautiful moment for kim's character – the emptiness and visceral loss. he didn't commit any physical harm, but it still manages to mirror the common trope of a character staring at the blood on their hands after killing someone. and the second one: we only see this scene on reflection and not when it happens chronologically, and it's so briefly shown we don't know what happens before or after, but in this moment, Kim looks wrecked. he's sitting there listening to Chay sing his love song in the studio, and he can't handle it. he looks like he's about to have a panic attack, and he gets up and leaves, and we don't know what happens next.

So TIGTW starts with that scene. the "what happens next."

So that kinda sets the stage for what aspects of canon most inspired me lol. I guess the main inspiration for the premise beyond that is personal experience and projection. We see very little of Kim as a character beyond what he shows to other characters in the show. (maybe that's intentional to the story-telling. we know as little about him as the other characters. we get only a couple brief scenes of him alone, either investigating, or playing the guitar/writing while daydreaming about Chay and smiling). but what we do see is someone who's very isolated and who flounders in the face of affection, but seems desperate for those little moments of warmth he gets with Chay. so in comes projection: here's an isolated and lonely boy with a fucked up family and a childhood that likely lacked a lot of emotional warmth – let's give him all the problems that hit closest to home for me.

An opioid high feels like a jacked up version of love and joy and warmth. Kim can't get those feelings anywhere else, but... he could get them here. He's scared of emotional attachment, he's scared of being Known, but a feeling of love and safety that he's in control of, that he can enjoy in private? he'd cling to it.

Im gonna be honest, I didn't have a full plot when i started writing it. I'd only planned up to chapter 11: Kim spiralling after fucking things up with Chay, and then getting shot saving Chay because he was under the influence, and this being the turning point for him getting clean. Everything after that was just the natural progression that seemed to make the most sense for his continued recovery. because i really really wanted to portray a real recovery process, that wasn't just: oh, he has love now, he has Chay and his brothers and he decided to get clean now and that's that. he's sober and recovered and happy and the story is over. because that's not how it works. by the time i finished the main story, i had about a dozen different updated outlines, because it developed more and more with every chapter i wrote lol.

i guess the short version of this answer would be: i saw myself in him, and i wanted to give him healing and a happy ending, no matter how long it takes for him to get there.

sorry for the huge tangent, and thank you again for reading and your continued interest in the story! it means a lot to me, especially because the story itself is so important to me.