#like in actual value i swear i don't do this on purpose it just happens to me

[the-algebra-thing]

I may be right, I may be wrong—but I'm perfectly willing to swear

found these lines and flats from like last year realized it's never gonna get further than this and cleaned it up to show bc it is too awesome to keep to myself just bc it didn't get properly colored

[theonevoice]

Have a gold star...

I swear, I started this as a wholesome innocent comment on how when Crowley has to think of a prize, after 6000+ years, his sweet head still goes to stars as the ultimate symbol of something beautiful and cherished.

But then I was struck by something: sarcasm.

Both times, when he tells someone to "have a gold star," he doesn't say it with a tone of affectionate irony, like the cool-but-sweet uncle with a rough personality but a soft heart. He says it with a tone of bitter sarcasm, of painful disenchantment.

Because it's not a prize that he is offering; it's a sop, a cruel joke-gift, something that will get you excited at first just because you have a stupid, naive, innocent soul, and you will later realize that it means nothing to the one who assigned it to you, and that they are ready to take it away whenever they want, while the rest of the world laughs at your ridiculous gullibility.

Because this is what stars were for him.

They were his beloved, exciting creation. The star-factory nebula was his cherished task, assigned to him by God, and he believed that it was meant to be a thing of beauty and splendor, and hold value in the grand scheme of the universe... only to discover, immediately after he created it, that it was never intended to have any value at all. It meant nothing to God. It wasn't even planned to last enough to fullfill its purpose. It was a joke, a cruel prank. 

The stars were God's bad pun of giving angel!Crowley something to do, and love, and have hope and expectations for, and then taking it away. Revealing that it was just a shiny piece of gold cardstock that only a simpleton could consider valuable. Of course he can only say "have a gold star" as a dry snarky sarcastic comment on someone who thinks they have achieved something meaningful when it's actually nothing. Be it the Them defeating the Four Horsemen. Be it Muriel being noticed by the Metatron.

Great, sure, have a gold star, be all excited and squealing with happiness, it will turn into ashes before you even know it.

I am not sure that Crowley's snake eyes were ever intended to signal that he cannot see the stars because snakes have bad vision (even ignoring the zoological fact that they are sensitive to UV light though, so they should still see astronomical objects, in the book it says that demons must be able to see at night, and that's why Crowley doesn't need to turn on the lights on the Bentley), but for sure the Fall and Heaven's cruelty has ruined the stars for him, in a way.

Now, in his mind, they are the ultimate symbol of delusion, of naivety, of foolishly investing your love and passion and hopes in something, of stupidly ignoring that the things you cherish will be ruined or taken away from you or leave you on their own accord.

That's also why Aziraphale's "nothing lasts forever" cuts him so deep. That's why his "no... no, I dont' suppose it does" sounds so much like a truth that he is remembering instead of one that he has jsut discovered.

Here you go, you did it again, you thought you had something significant and instead it was just like your stars, you should have known that whenever you find something beautiful it's just a matter of time before you lose it, you shouldn't get too attached.

In s1e6 he says it to the Them, in s2e6 he says it to Muriel. I do hope that in s3e6 he will get the chance to say it again, but this time it will be honest and out of joy, because whatever is going to happen will make him able again to believe that you can be happy, and can hold onto the good things that you love. You can have all the gold stars, for real. They don't always have to disappear and leave you in pain. They can stay with you.

[anxious-lee]

|| Normero Tickle Headcanons ||

A/N: whew oh boy. im getting flustered just thinking about writing this 😳. im like 90% sure no one in this community watches this show but SCREW IT! i didn't make this blog to NOT write content for under-loved fandoms!

-----

alex will swear to kingdom come that he is not ticklish (it is, of course, a lie)

he puts so much value in telling the truth and yet he lies about this

norma will purr "don't lie to me, alex~"

^ alex would never admit it, but it kind of flusters him

he's not VERY ticklish, as he's been hardened by his policework for many years, but id say just a little under average

solid poker face tho. if norma wasn't so adept at reading his expressions, he'd almost be able to sell the "not ticklish" lie

certainly doesn't love it, but it's nothing he can't handle to make norma happy

plus he knows he needs the laugh every now and then

on the whole, id say norma starts the tickle fights more than alex does. he can be pretty serious, and isn't super keen to expose himself.

it mostly happens when norma is teasing or heckling him about something

but, sometimes, alex will feel particularly playful and skitter a hand up her side and strut away with a smug smile

or if norma's being coy and playing keep-away, he'll tickle her to subdue her

the first time norma found out alex was ticklish was when they were making out. it was early in the morning and the two were enjoying a morning in before alex had to head for work. norma was laying on top of him and her hands slipped a little too softly over his sides, and he twitched. norma obviously noticed and asked with zero gentleness what that was. alex tried to brush it under the rug, but norma kept touching the spot until she put the pieces together. she got a predatory look in her eyes. alex tried to slowly ease himself out from under her and stammer an excuse about being late for work, but as norma pointed out: he still had 15 minutes. ticklish cuddling ensued.

after he was released, his first words were "i haven't laughed that hard in years" (norma was now sure that this was going to be a recurring thing)

alex found out norma was ticklish immediately after. after she had stopped her attack, she was laughing to herself about how the "Big Daddy of White Pine Bay" wasn't really that mean and tough at all. to which he grinned and said "oh you want to see mean? ill show you mean."

he then proceeded to tickle her in the most gentle and careful way so like you kind of proved her point alex 😭

alex loves the sound of norma's laugh. he almost hates how much he loves it

he doesn't know this, but norma keeps track of what spots get what reaction out of alex. she has way too much fun tormenting her husband to not do so.

it's not always full blown tickle fights. sometimes alex'll purposely scratch his stubble into her neck just a little bit, or norma will pinch his side to get his attention

norma has never felt safe enough with a partner to actually enjoy getting tickled. it was just something that was thrust upon her that she had to put up with. but she truly trusts alex, and the giggly moments they spend together are when she has felt the most safe.

alex does not know what to do while being tickled, so he just keeps saying norma's name over and over again. it melts her heart

if she gets laughing hard enough, norma hiccups

alex's tickle spot is his underarms

norma's are her hips

norma tends to squirm A LOT, but alex knows exactly how to handle her energy

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 181

Chapter 181: "Beyond Destiny"

I keep thinking how Alex mentioned last chapter that he can only call for help during the spring and of the one panel that showed the snow melting and flowers blooming by the time we reached the scene where he takes Emma to the city, which leads me to believe it's actually early 2050 instead of late 2049. I know I'm in the minority thinking that since this chapter clearly states it's been two years since Emma disappeared, but I personally don't believe they meant that timeskip literally.

Referencing the search she, Don & Ayshe went on is a nice callback, but with both situations having their parallels, why couldn't ya think of this idea sooner sweetie?? Ah well, at least this leads everyone in the right direction in the end. Regardless of any of that, I love Gilda's outfit here.

Sigh. This arc had so much potential to give so many more characters some spotlight and we get crumbs.

I am politely asking the world once more to please let my boy say "fuck." You can't tell me Ray hasn't been swearing like a sailor with how frustrating these last two years have been for him. Also, seeing Phil using the WM pen raises more questions, such as who's pen did that originally belong to? My first bet would've bene that it Yuugo's, as he's really the only one we've seen with a pen aside from Emma (who still has hers), but with how chaotic life at the shelter was moments before it blew up, I have my doubts he would've even thought to give the pen away to Ray or one of the other kids for safekeeping. It would've been a pretty big hint towards him and Lucas not returning as well so I can understand why such a scene was left out, if it happened at all. Anyways, with Norman on the other end of the conversation with Phil, it's obvious he somehow has a pen of his own but how he acquired such pen doesn't seem that surprising to me, since Norman was actually shown to have one in season two and I can easily believe it was another gift from Smee or another supporter. If not, Norman seems like the type who would be able to create another pen just like the original, which could result in the one Phil's group is using, if it isn't actually Yuugo's. Other that than, seeing how the pens are still fully functional (and assuming they're both originals from the demon world and not newly made), I'm going back to my own question I had last chapter about whether or not Emma and Alex have ever tried using the pen she has in her possession. Surely they could've figured something out about Emma's past if they just looked through it.. unless demon god thought that far ahead and deleted all information off said pen.

I know it's the same moment as the previous chapter where Phil's group gets close to Emma without realizing it but it still makes me so anxious! I'd absolutely be yelling at my screen had this encounter been animated.

Now they're teasing me on purpose. Just let them meet, damn it! AAhhh.. at least Ray's looking handsome, even though he's completely worn out.

Oh how very convenient for the necklace to somehow fall off her neck and be found right in front of where she eventually reunites with her family. This necklace also looks like the kind that you just slip on over your head, as there doesn't seem to be a visible clasp anywhere on the chain, so how it managed to go up and over her head without her noticing is some sorta demon witchcraft right there. Look at how that thing is glowing! It's sentient I tell ya. I do like how much Emma values the necklace though despite not having any memory as to why it's so special to her.

Speaking of keepsakes, I'm also very fond that Ray still uses his scarf. More importantly though, this panel is such a relief! I'm so relieved the reunion takes place rather quickly in the chapter so it gives the characters more time to figure out the situation and sort out their feelings. And I may be wrong about this, but it kinda looks like Emma is raising her eyebrow at the sight of all these people suddenly surrounding her with such surprised faces. Hold on tight honey, it's about to get even weirder for you.

And this first panel is darn heartbreaking, for her family and us readers. They probably dreamed of this moment for so long, to finally reunite with Emma and live together again, but they certaintly never imagined her to react like this. Safe to say that our girl was taken off guard by this encounter as well. Here Emma was, expecting a chill day out shipping with her adoptive father and now she's getting hugged outta nowhere by a bunch of strangers. Poor girl looks seriously stunlocked.

I am so incredibly proud of my boy for figuring out that this girl is indeed their Emma. I'm sure anyone could've looked at the necklace in her hands and made the assumption this was her, but the way Ray was able to piece everything together about what exactly happened to Emma and what the real reward was amazes me to no end. He looks so angry and full of regret in that second panel before he reveals the truth too, almost as if he's a bit hesitant to let the words out of his mouth, but he knows this is absolutely something everyone needs to hear and unfortunately for Ray, no one is better at delivering hard truths than him. Once he reveals to everyone the true price of the reward, he looks completely crushed and I seriously need to go and hug him pretty please! I'm certain Ray has been constantly thinking up many possibilities of what the reward could've been over the last two years, but this reveal has gotta be something he never expected. Or perhaps it was, considering he realized it so quickly, but I doubt he'd be happy to be correct in this moment anyway. I can't imagine what Emma must be feeling hearing all this crazy stuff either.

Okay but what if she just said no here instead? Would demon god actually changed His mind or am I being too hopeful? Emma's optimism might be rubbing off on me, but I just want her happy! I don't like that sad look in her eyes or the slight pause she takes before finally answering Him.

She's such a damn sweetheart, I'll literally never get over how big her heart is and how much she loves and cares for everyone, especially over herself. I can imagine the sad tone in her voice for the first couple speech bubbles, but then she'll lighten up as she rambles on about the better future that's on the horizon and will be so grateful she's able to grant such wonderful lives for everyone she holds dear.

It goes without saying but Emma's family doesn't take the news of her memory loss too well. While I am glad that a majority of them were present to hear about the real reward (given how important it was) and that everyone eventually celebrates Emma agreeing to live with them at the end of the chapter, a part of me wishes the initial group who found her was a bit smaller? All the attention is completely overwhelming her and I can't blame her for shoving them aside for freaking out so badly. If it was Ray, Norman, Phil and a couple others from GF who found her first, they could've broken the news to her gently (once Ray figured it out) and then fill in the rest of their family one by one, if Emma still decided to join them in the end.

Phil is so good at picking up on major details, whether it be GF's secret or Emma's anxiety. And then ya got Norman who is just totally relieved to see her again. I had forgot to mention this during ch179, but another reason losing Emma hit him so hard was because he had just reunited with her a couple weeks prior to their arrival in the human world. Norman spent all that time planning his escape in Lambda and ways that would allow him to reconnect with Emma, Ray, and the rest of their family and he finally had a moment of peace when they all arrived at the paradise hideout to feel that hole in his heart being full again. Then you had all that drama at the demon capital that pitted them against each other for a little bit until they reconciled and fought together during the GF raid. He had to be so happy once they finally obtained freedom and to live by each other's side without fear of being separated again, until they split up once more without any indication how long it would last or if a life without Emma was gonna be Norman's new normal. So of course he breaks out into happy tears here because all that matters to him is that she's real and in front of him again.

Hearing him tell her how thankful he is that she's healthy, eating well and injury free is a great parallel to his speech in ch30 right before he gets shipped out, only instead of saying their goodbyes at the end, they can introduce themselves and start all over. I gotta wonder what Alex thinks of all these kids suddenly surrounding his adoptive daughter, though I pretty positive he's chill with it since we do see him a bit later sitting back and watching all their happy faces.

Although it's a real convenient way to tie up loose ends about what's been happening with their family these past couple years, I'm still thankful we get a little insight about everyone's dreams and progress they've made. Naturally I wish could've seen so much more of everyone, but I'll take what we can get. Poor Emma has gotta be so confused on what Norman is talking about though.

This boy is trying is absolute hardest to not breakdown in front of her. It reminds me of how he comforted Emma the night after Conny's shipment despite him being just as frightened to learn the house's secret as she was.

Okay but props to our girl though for sticking around and at least hearing them out. If a bunch of strangers came up to me and started sharing their life stories with me, you can bet I'd make a move to run the first chance I get.

It's crazy how seeing a panel of our favorite girl cry such big tears can make me so happy but aaahh, I'm so thankful that the love she has for her family is powerful enough that it overrides her dumb amnesia. Demon god can be a bastard and take away her memories but he can't do shit about her strong feelings! Also, I always liked how her tears land on the necklace, considering it resembles the dragon's eye, it makes it look like as if it's crying as well.

It took me until now to remember that several pages of this chapter were redrawn since I remember that one fantasy scene of the boys finding her on that beach.. but no way in hell am I gonna go back and rework this to accommodate those changes. I've been writing this post out for far too long already. The sun is no longer up.

It's because of the inner monologue from the previous pages that leads me to believe it's also Emma who declares "screw destiny" here and I will literally never accept anything different because I love that phrase for her. That's the very reason I went nuts during s2ep10 when she shouts "I don't give a damn about that destiny!" at Peter. (Dub had her fire back with "Well I don't give a damn what you say!" if anyone was curious, which is equally good in my book.)

Favorite panel/moment:

Oh, there's.. so many. There would've been more but I did already chat about some favorite moments already, such as Ray's smart mind recognizing Emma and the real reward, along with her expressing how much she's always wanted to meet her family regardless of meeting everyone for the first time. As for the rest however, of course we're starting with Ray's lost family members assisting him with locating Emma. Seeing Conny, Yuugo and Isabella appear one last time was such a welcomed surprise and I could absolutely ramble about them more, but I should really keep the rest of this short considering how long this darn post is turning out to be. I'll place the original review here though for funsies. I will mention something I only thought of recently though, and that's how I think the "Over here, Ray" is actually in Emma's voice instead of Conny, Yuugo & Isabella's like I originally believed. While I do love the idea of Ray thinking fondly about all the people he failed to save, no one compares to Emma and that girl has probably been living rent free in his head the past two years. It would also makes sense as to why he would later comment about how hearing her voice could've been his imagination since he's thinking of her so frequently all the time, as we clearly see as he sprints off chasing that voice.

Eeehehe, Ayshe may not have been around for the reunion but her absence is definitely forgiven with this small panel! I would die for more content about these two and how their complicated acquaintanceship changed over the years, even if only barely. Norman still has to be on his guard around her and I love the idea of her lowkey threatening him often enough so he'll never feel relaxed. So glad all her dogs were able to cross over as well considering the new promise really only affected the cattle children. Rest in peace Vincent!

One of the most important reveals is my boy Chris FINALLY waking up!! It still really sucks how he was knocked out for almost half the story but oohhh I'm so incredible thrilled that he's okay. Poor guy has so much drama to catch up on though. I'm sure once he heard about Emma's disappearance he would've offered to help look for her, but since he wasn't shown anywhere else during the chapter, it makes me believe that his awakening was fairly recent and he's possibly still recovering. I'm fine if that's the case considering he gets to join in all the fun during the epilogue.

Everyone delighted beyond belief to hear that Emma missed them and her adorable face when they return the sentiment. Ah, Ray also looks fantastic. Love that smile on him as he's crying tears of pure joy.

Though I very much prefer the redrawn version of the final page where it includes more of the family joining in the celebration, having Emma accept their offer and wishing to live together will all of them definitely makes for a wholesome ending.

End of volume 20. But one day remains.

[thegreatyin]

arcturus religious arc?? do say more

arcturus is funny because i haven't actually talked about them and the rest of the MCM cast on this blog very much (in fact i don't think i've even namedropped leus?) but they occupy so much of my brainspace. at least 1/339274th of my singular braincell. and lemme tell you that's more than any one OC frankly ever should

anyway! arcturus is religious. like. in the freak sort of way. in the they're Really Fucking Normal about this sort of way. they're so fucking normal right now. you can trust them. they swear. they are soooooooooooooo normal.

to elaborate further would be getting into MCM (and some hints of APF) lore as a whole, which i will do anyway, but under the cut because i like to pretend to respect my follower's dashboard scrolling time

so. the thing about APF and MCM is that they are two wildly different stories taking place at wildly different times in fantasy world history. but they are taking place in the exact same setting with the exact same shared fantasy world history.

this is the full mimue geographical world map, sans cities, primarily made for APF purposes but also featuring MCM's two (unnamed as of right now) focus continents off to the far left. MCM's story mostly spans the northern part of this duo. unlike what i affectionately refer to as "the APF plot triangle" (or eastern mimue, if you wanna get technical) country names are not synonymous with continent names and this is weirdly way more important to MCM lore than you might think.

this is an extremely rough mockup of a "mimue political map". green designating arboret, gold designating sanctus, blue designating requies... and brown designating medeis, with icy blue designating sulia. grey designates a cluster of various smaller border countries that definitely exist but i haven't worldbuilded them as of yet and don't really plan to go in-depth with them because they're mostly irrelevant to anything ever.

MCM focuses on medeis and sulia. and only these two. another crucial element of MCM is that everyone living there is completely disconnected from the other side of the world. the map makes them seem relatively close to arboret but in actuality it's way more like a mutual undiscovered new world situation. the folks in western mimue have absolutely no idea there's an APF plot happening in the first place, much less a cluster. similarly, everyone in APF is unaware of western mimue's existence and they all consider arboret to be the furthest edge of the known world (with just ocean laying beyond that). christopher columbus hasn't attacked mimue yet is what i'm saying.

however. they do share a world history, and setting, and magic system, and hey wasn't there a whole thing with eastern mimue and an angel blessing the world a thousand years ago that encompassed the entire planet in scope and you can go read about it on Ao3 if you feel like it right now?

y'know. that mildly significant part of mimue history that basically overturned the world forever and inspired a new religion in eastern mimue dedicated to following the angel like it's a god. that mildly important minor detail.

yeah, the MCM crew has no idea about any of that. but they were still affected by it. they just... interpreted it slightly differently.

magic in the world of mimue is an anomaly by mimian standards. something New and Weird and Unnatural. eastern mimue, with the context of the blessing angel as a bringer of peace and forgiveness and prosperity, treats it as something to be valued and admired.

western mimue does not do this. western mimue basically got blasted with magic with zero context of what was going on across the ocean, and everyone is CONFLICTED about it. some believe it's a favor from their gods, others believe it's a curse from those that scorn them, and still others shun anyone with "too much" magical ability in the first place.

by-the-by, completely totally definitely unrelated to that above statement, who are those western mimue gods?

well.

while those in eastern mimue have largely abandoned mimue's old ways and barely anyone has any real recollection of The Before Times, western mimue is desperately clinging to those exact same old beliefs. to its old gods, for lack of a better word.

no, seriously. who were these old gods?

dragons, of course. they're the primary subject of worship in western mimue- and a dying one, at that. in modern-day MCM (and by extension modern-day APF, though it takes place a long while before MCM) most of the median and sulian population haven't seen a real "godlike" dragon in centuries.

but they are still very much around. just. hanging out. being worshipped and served by mortals. fully sapient talking dragons held up as gods. are they actually? that's debatable, but also a debate topic that'll get you a lot of stink-eyes in sulia and some especially devout sectors of medeis.

speaking of.

arcturus! remember when this was an ask about them and not just a mimue theological history lesson? yeah i don't either. but lets discuss them anyway.

a lot of what y'all can know about arcturus (without spoiling MCM too much) can be found in their point-of-view story, wherein they admittedly don't spend a lot of time ruminating on their faith but do namedrop their draconic overlords at the very end all dramatic-like.

they briefly allude to their backstory though! that's something!

to keep an even longer rant about medeis political lore short, arcturus is in a position roughly equivalent to the president. their official in-universe title is Honored Exemplary, but in terms of real-world-analogy it's essentially just being president of the united states.

y'know. if the US was an expansionist empire with technology far surpassing anything else in the world and was also powered by a monster kept in the basement that has to be fed live sacrifices weekly or else the entire thing goes to hell. and also the president and the head of parliament had a weird toxic yuri situationship going on and it's probably inevitably going to end in either murder, a double suicide pact, or both.

so, just the US, really.

the funny thing about arcturus is that they aren't actually native to medeis. parallax is! they aren't. their original home was conquered early-on in their youth, and they've basically grown up surrounded entirely by median society and technology.

and they've adapted like a fish to water. they're like if the country mouse discovered cars exist and became an absolute sicko over it. meanwhile parallax is like if the city mouse just really yearned to be eaten alive by moss (neither of these fucks are normal or honestly entirely sane)

worship of the great big questionably-deity lizards was a BIG part of what little they can remember about their old life. and they're like. REALLY into it. they're the guy who insists you have to pray before every meal and spends an hour daily kneeling in front of their dedicated God Shrine asking for repentance. they latched onto dragonology like a dying man in the desert latches onto a water bottle. they're very very very big on punishing themself for the whole technically-being-a-serial-killer-by-feeding-the-basement-monster thing and they see religion as an outlet for exorcising their own sins. which is really normal behavior, im sure.

and also magic tends to be viewed in a really negative light by Hardcore Traditionalist People™ and they were raised in that environment and as a mutant with zero magical ability to speak of they were basically uplifted as a savior and a favorite of god from day one and they've got an absolutely horrible case of hyperempathy + religious savior complex because of it. so y'know. that's also a mildly important factor. just a tad bit.

TLDR;

arcturus does this. but like. for dragons.

[lilyware]

(ignore the eyebrow clipping, it only happens in character creation lol)

i never actually showed pictures of my bg3 character!!! her name is ghilanna silverhand, and she's a grave domain cleric of kelemvor. she owns a mortuary in baldur's gate where she specializes in funeral services and embalming. she has a medical background as well so investigators will also use her services to determine the cause of death of people that met an untimely end. she gets grabbed by the mind flayer's when she has to travel outside baldur's gate for church-related things.

hair mod

more under the cut since this got pretty long

she's extremely dedicated to her work and hardly ever leaves her home (she lives on the upper floor of her mortuary), so outside of her work/usual routine of comforting the dying and the mourning, she doesn't really have a lot of social skills lol. people making small talk, bothering her during her work, or trying to get close to her are usually met with cold rebuttals and the strengthening of the titanium-grade walls she's built around herself. when out of her element (aka anywhere outside of her mortuary) she's antisocial, kinda awkward, kinda looks like a corpse due to lack of sunlight and her being skin and bones. she even forgets to eat sometimes if she's super absorbed in what she's doing. the only reason she hasn't perished is her assistant, who i haven't really fleshed out yet so i don't have much on them yet.

on the surface, she's sarcastic, mean, and unfeeling (the camp sometimes jokingly calls her the ice queen). but her tendency to take the more logical, tactical approach to things is counteracted by what's hidden beneath those mile-thick walls she's built up around herself. she does care, she just doesn't really know how to or how to express that. all she knows is herself, her faith, and her work, and she hasn't needed anything else. why would she want anything else?

by the end of act 3 she slowly warms up and realizes just how much she values actually having friends and how much she actually cares, and she's fiercely, fiercely protective of them all.

she romances astarion (i swear i'm not a bandwagoner i just thought 2 sassy goths together was funny and played this game before seeing the tumblr fanbase lol) which is extremely turmoiling for her at first as a cleric of kelemvor. i like to imagine withers being the one to tell her that her god won't forsake her for not killing astarion, and that she has a greater purpose than that. (something something, "even the lord of the dead can't untangle the threads of fate"). ghilanna hardly sees the sun anyway when she's absorbed in her work so it's not like they're apart for long when he gets his sun sensitivity back. i also like to imagine that with her medical and anti-undead background, that post-game she studies to try to find a proper cure to vampirism.

[evilkitten3]

#unsure how to deal with this as an author so i just pretend the criticism is FINE and cry later#im ok i swear

oh i can help with this!!! (for both fanfic and non-fanfic writing)

ok, so what i do is split criticism into categories. the first and most important (for our purposes here) category is the "this has no actual value bc this person is more focused on being a dick than offering advice" and everything in this category should be tossed out immediately bc it has nothing to do with you; it's someone else's baggage that they don't know how to deal with and are trying to make your problem.

i'm talking things like "this sucks" or "delete your account" or even "if you don't know how to write then don't post stuff" or whatever. there's no value to any of that. even if you operate under the assumption that any of it is true, none of it is helpful, and therefore doesn't matter.

the second category is "pet peeves". these are valid criticisms to consider, but not necessarily do anything about - they have more to do with the critic's personal taste, and that may not mesh up with your own. worth thinking about just for the sake of it, but you can't please everyone.

the third category is the "ah shit g-ddammit you're right" category, which is frequently filled with spelling mistakes and other errors of a similar nature. the stuff that makes you go FUCK I THOUGHT I GOT ALL THOSE and so on. this category is very important bc it's one you partially do yourself. there will be spelling errors. there will be grammatical errors. you will forget things. this is fine. it happens. it's annoying as all get out, but it happens.

the fourth category is "oh i didn't think of that". this is often stuff like formatting suggestions (especially in fanfics) and pacing, but it can absolutely get involved in the plot. things like "ok so why don't they just do [thing]" or "how did they get from location a to location b" and sometimes even "maybe you should develop this relationship more before having them kiss". this category is frustrating, but still important. it is tragically pretty much impossible to think of everything, but it still sucks when other people think of something you didn't. depending on the suggestion, it's up to you what to do with this. if it's a minor plothole, you may just end up accepting it and hoping the audience will suspend their disbelief (they probably will).

the fifth and final category is what i respectfully call the "EVACUATE NEW ORLEANS" category. this is the shitstorm hurricane of disaster, but unlike category one it can't be ignored. maybe there's a serious plothole that kinda ruins your whole story, or the word you made up is actually a very real word and also deeply offensive, or you glossed over something that can't really be glossed over. most likely, it's serious - and potentially even hurtful - criticism that also happens to be true. this is the stuff that no one wants to deal with but happens for a variety of factors both completely within and entirely outside of your control. this category involves heavy editing, frequently very large overhauls of parts of your story, some crying if you need to, and definitely some self-reflection on what you did wrong and how you can do better next time. it's emotionally taxing as hell, but it's better than, say, doubling down on all your bullshit on twitter and becoming the public face for a hate group or something.

there are of course criticisms that don't fit neatly into any of those categories, but as i said, the first one is the most important one concerning handling criticism itself. criticism is important and a good tool to grow, as a writer or as a person, but sometimes the person complaining isn't interested in you or your story, and that kind of stuff should be ignored with extreme prejudice. even if you think they may actually have a point, if they're more interested in being nasty to you, there's very little you can learn from them bc they don't care. some people will start off hostile and calm down if you respond politely (very frequently these people will assume you did something intentionally and the realization that it was a misunderstanding will change their behavior), at which point the criticism can move into a different category, but so long as the person's main priority is general dickery, just go ahead and ignore them altogether.

extremely unsexy of adhd to make me both very annoying and very sensitive to the concept of being perceived as annoying

[aiyexayen]

Ship ask: Xie-wang/Wen Kexing

1. What made you ship it?

this moment. just this. i don't typically give an excess amount of thought to shipping on my first watchthrough of something, especially something i'm so captivated by. but this moment popped on my screen and i was like "HELLO?!"

i'm still entirely lukewarm about the necessity of the scene but i am all here for over the top unnecessary dramatic tension between these two murder babies villains.

2. What are your favourite things about the ship?

the contrast between the things they don't have in common and the things they do.

they're both orphans, they were both raised to be killers, they're both very good at what they do, they both desperately need to be genuinely loved and both have the capacity for intense and terrifying and consuming devotion. they're both leaders in their own right.

but for one, their lives were so different. wen kexing grew up in hell, with no one to take care of him--he had no one to really rely on, even luo-yi. we know about the beatings and we can guess about more. xie'er ostensibly grew up in luxury, with servants and his yifu. with the way he reacts to yifu slapping him, it feels likely that's never happened before. but it's also like--whew, is that a fucked up relationship. manipulative and horrifying. two entirely different types of fucked up, one because of isolation and one because of, well, zhao jing. which puts all their hard and sharp and soft edges in different places, all their hurts in a different order, all their expectations for relationships and concepts of self and their needs.

they both have style, education, an appreciation for refinement and fashion and such. xie'er's grew out of having been raised around luxury and his deep and abiding desire to simply be furen, i swear, and to be seen and accepted and enough and Pleasing. and kexing's grew from obsessively learning about the outside world, about other kinds of people and life and plunging himself into these constructs of importance that had no bearing on any of his lived experience but creating a self that fit into them regardless because he needed something.

and in spite of xie'er growing up more pampered and with access to more people, i think wen kexing has the advantage of him when it comes to caring for someone else. he had a-xiang, after all, and part of the point was that they kept each other human even in a place of ghosts. i think xie'er still has a bit of a journey ahead of him where that's concerned. wen kexing did, too, when he came out of gui gu, but i think he had the advantage.

their motives/purpose also differ considerably in a lot of ways. wen kexing has been consumed with revenge his whole life, with his own plans--and xie'er with his yifu's plans. xie'er has always deferred to yifu, while kexing made a point of becoming gui gu guzhu so he would not be accountable to anyone. they have kind of opposite journeys they need to take where that's concerned. xie'er needed to figure out how to value himself outside of zhao jing, how to see himself as a complete person, how to figure out what he wanted out of his life and where his own ambitions would take him and what kind of leader he was without a leash. kexing needed to figure out how to rely on someone, how to see himself as a human at all, how to accept what he actually wanted out of life and allow himself to have it, even to the point of learning a different kind of leadership as a partner and a subordinate.

these things could lead to such an interesting ship dynamic. it could be chaos and fire and explosions or it could be soft. thinking about where in their stories do they meet, what struggles are they currently having and how do they clash or overlap? in what ways can they help each other or hurt each other? xie'er could be expecting yifu and instead he gets someone who is so straightforward when he's mean and genuine when he's soft and who doesn't hide his sarcasm behind sweet lies or turn any moment of concern or care into a subtle transaction. kexing could, to his complete bafflement, experience the full weight of someone's obsessive jealous devotion. they could make each other so much worse. we just don't know.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

i don't know any opinions about this ship at all. that seems to be a general thing with me. my opinion is that they should kiss.

[gunmetal-ring]

I'm actually looking forward to next week's episode tbh like I know so many of us are dreading it and are having a lot of anxiety but I have a rly hard time believing that Leah will be introduced independent of the reapers, meaning that she'll likely rip off her mask and dramatically be like "daryl... the group that just killed some of your group... They're My Family"

meaning that Daryl will internally be like, in order

A) omg wait Leah is alive?!

B) wtf?!

C) wait why is she with the bad guys?!

D) wait she called them her family?!

E) she's voluntarily with them?!

F) why?!

G) hang on she's been hunting maggie?!

H) oh shit she's probably still pissed that I bounced

I) she's probably double pissed that I chose Carol- uh, um, I mean Rick/and now Maggie over her, even tho it was only temporarily, but she doesn't know that bc she bounced before I came back

J) oo and she's probably triple pissed that I didn't bother looking for her the way I looked for Rick #BromanceOverRomance (and only decided to stop looking for Rick when Carol asked me to, whoops i mean -)

K) hmm alright how am I gonna survive this one

Then, knowing twd, the end credits will roll, and then the next time we resume that storyline it'll be

L) alright well maybe I'll ask how the hell she's still alive where has she been what happened etc you know, all the awkward run-in-with-the-ex catching up they have to do

M) probably gonna get some snarky remark because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and then he's gonna be like well you know what I gotta stay alive for this bc how else will I ride off into the sunset with Carol?

N) so he'll say "hey psst secret is that I hate Maggie too, i was trying to kill her too I super swear, let's join together and do it also I love you 5ever Im totally telling the truth I super duper swear for real pinky promise"

O) and internally he'll be like not only will this keep me alive so I can ride off into the subset with Carol but it will also help me to accept the fact that my value as a person does not rest on whether or not I can save people

P) bc as we know, the girl was cuckoo for cocoa puffs back when they met, and has probably only turned cuckoo-ier since she bounced, seeing as how she's on a murderous rampage with a bunch of dudes in creepy Halloween masks

Q) and then he'll realize that She Can't Be Saved And TBH Wasn't All That Great To Begin With, And It Probably Wasn't A Great Idea To Date Her In The First Place Anyway, Especially Since I Was Actually In Love With Someone Else The Whole Time whoops I mean -

R) and then she'll die or fuck off forever somehow and Carol will be like omg Daryl I'm so sorry that your creepy woodswoman long lost love is gone for good, it's probably my fault to some degree, just like your its-not-like-that long lost love is gone for good also because of me

S) and he'll be like um jsyk when I say "It's not like that" I mean "it's not like that" so no I don't love Connie it just sucks that she went AWOL for all the normal reasons, and also have you considered the fact that the thing I loved about leah was that she had Dog and gave me a sense of purpose while I was failing to find rick bc if I can't find him at least maybe I can save her from herself

T) and Carol will be like OK well and Daryl will be like no okay well just LISTEN to me the main reason I didn't love either of them is because I love YOU always have always will

U) then Carol will start crying and he'll gently wipe away her tears and be like BTW I know you love me but I get it if you can't be w me bc of all your trauma and whatnot

V) and Carol will be like yes I love you I've been repressing it for the last six or seven seasons bc i thought you didn't love me but you know what I'm working thru my trauma as best I can

W) and he'll be like oh great so.... this means I can kiss you right

X) and she'll be like um duh lay one on me

Y) they kiss

Z) they ride off into the sunset and star in a spinoff all about middle aged dating in the zombie apocalypse when it's just the two of you out on the road all alone for the rest of your lives the end

[valdomarx]

*Ahem* don't know if you write prompts or not, but think of this: Jaskier is coming with Geralt to Kaer Morhen, both of them still not in anything romantic/sexual. But it's not Jaskier who's adored and loved by everyone. It's Geralt, their favourite winter bitch. Jaskier stumbles across him being fucked by Lambert, and Geralt comes, looking into his eyes; sees him sucking Eskel off in his bedroom. He had no idea Geralt can be so relaxed and slutty. In the end, they all have some hot group sex.

Anon, you’re a genius. I present to you the Geralt is the slut of Kaer Morhen fic we all secretly wanted.

Jaskier has been waiting months for this, to see the famous Kaer Morhen for himself, to talk with the other witchers Geralt trained with and to hear their stories. He couldn’t believe his luck when Geralt actually agreed to bring him here for the winter, despite the fact Geralt barely seems to tolerate his presence even after all these years.

Walking through the great gate to the crumbling castle takes his breath away, the sad state of the deteriorating walls somehow an apt metaphor for the strong but underappreciated men who live here. And meeting the other witchers is a revelation, each of them throwing Geralt’s character into sharp relief in the way that seeing someone among their very old friends inevitably does.

–

The castle is as homey as one could hope for from a tumbledown ruin, and the witchers have taken care to provide Jaskier with what he might need. Despite their reputation for brutality, they are clearly considerate hosts. The room he is shown to on his first night has a spacious bed, a bowl and a pitcher of water for washing, and even a little tray with some dried fruit on it.

What it is lacking, however, is more than one thin blanket. Witchers don’t feel the cold the way humans do, it seems, and Jaskier lasts bare minutes in bed before he decides that if he doesn’t find something warm to sleep in, he might actually freeze to death before morning.

He does his best to navigate through the twisty corridors and crumbling staircases to Geralt’s room, hoping to beg a spare blanket. But as he approaches the room, he stops short when he hears something unexpected.

The door is cracked enough for him to hear wet slaps and a throaty groan, and Jaskier is not restrained enough to avoid taking a peek. Glancing through the narrow opening, he sees Geralt on his knees, face pressed into Eskel’s crotch, who has his hands twined into white hair and is thrusting down Geralt’s throat.

“Oh, you feel so good, I’ve missed your mouth,” Eskel is panting, and Geralt lets out a high pitched whine which Jaskier has never heard from him before. “Sucking me off so well.”

Jaskier’s pulse races. This is not a side of Geralt he’s ever seen before. Before now, it’s been rushed and infrequent stops at brothels, Geralt disappearing with the occasional adventurous girl in the larger towns. Not this, Geralt pliant and tactile, taking cock down his throat like he’s done it a thousand times.

There’s a thrill of temptation to stay and watch some more, as fucked up as that is. But Jaskier knows how Geralt values his privacy, so he forces himself to turn around and go back to his room.

Once he’s back in bed, the thought of Geralt on his knees keeps him plenty warm.

–

In the morning, Jaskier carefully and deliberately slots the “Geralt and Eskel are fucking” knowledge away and out of his conscious mind, and makes an effort to get to know his hosts. They’re prickly and a little distant, all of them, but if Jaskier can handle that from Geralt he can handle it from these Wolves as well.

He uses his most charming smile to tease a story about fighting a striga out of Eskel, then helps Vesemir prepare and pickle the last of the fresh vegetables to see them through the cold months.

When he heads to bed that night, he swears he doesn’t walk past Geralt’s room on purpose. It happens to be on the route between the kitchen and his room, so it can hardly be avoided. He does, admittedly, slow just a little as he walks past Geralt’s door, left ajar once again.

But this time, he doesn’t hear the deep, scratchy voice of Eskel. This time, it’s Coen’s sinuous tones carrying down the corridor.

And, look, Jaskier never claimed to be a morally upstanding person, okay? And, well, he’s curious. He’s getting a whole new view of his friend. So he takes a peek through the gap in the door.

Geralt is stripped mostly naked and pressed face-first against the wall, with Coen behind him. Jaskier can see by the flick of Coen’s wrist and the way Geralt is practically humping the wall that he has at least two fingers inside him.

“That’s it, good boy,” Coen is saying, voice low. “Gonna open you up nice and loose before I fuck you. Is that what you want?”

“Fuck, yes, I want it, want your cock,” Geralt growls, and Jaskier nearly fucking passes out. He had no idea Geralt could be so… vocal.

He retreats to his room at a clip, and if when he’s in bed he shoves a hand beneath the covers while thinking about the sounds Geralt makes when he’s needy to get fucked, then no one needs to know about that, do they?

–

Jaskier spends the next day very much not thinking about Geralt’s sexual proclivities, thank you very much, and remains focused on ingratiating himself with the Wolves by helping patch up some of the damaged exterior walls. It’s hard, physical work, and by the end of the day his hands are cracked and bleeding, but he’s determined to prove that he can be useful.

Geralt catches his eye at one point and gives him a strange look.

“Do I have cement on my face?” Jaskier asks.

“No,” Geralt says, “you were just looking at me like…” He blows out a breath. “Never mind.”

Shit. Jaskier resolves to be more circumspect in future. He’s going to have to be if he’s going to last the winter here.

Of course, he’s circumspect to a point, but he still has to walk down the corridor past Geralt’s room that evening, his pulse picking up before he even gets close.

This time, the door is wide open, without even a hint of propriety. When Jaskier walks past, there’s absolutely no way he can avoid seeing Geralt naked on all fours on the bed, Lambert behind him using a handful of long hair to yank his head back.

“That’s it, moan for me like the slut you are,” Lambert hisses, slamming into Geralt with deep, hard thrusts. “You know you fucking want it.”

Geralt’s massive shoulders flex and sweat drips down his brow, and he moans in the most filthy way. His eyes are scrunched shut, but when Jaskier’s breath hitches Geralt’s eyes fly open, looking straight at him through the doorway.

Jaskier panics, because even if Geralt having noisy sex with the door open is a bit rich, that still doesn’t excuse his gawping.

But Geralt doesn’t look angry. In fact, he stares at Jaskier in a manner that can only be described as hungry. Jaskier’s heart pounds.

Behind Geralt, Lambert doesn’t let up. He does throw a smirk Jaskier’s way though. “Enjoying the show?” he drawls.

“I…” For perhaps the first time in his entire life, Jaskier is at a loss for words. “Erm.”

He can’t tear his eyes away from Geralt, the way his face is slack with pleasure and his cock hangs huge and heavy between his legs. He’s dribbling seed onto the bed and it might be the most obscene and compelling thing Jaskier has ever seen.

“Best ride this side of the Pontar,” Lambert says, letting go of Geralt’s hair to smack him on the arse. He catches Jaskier’s eye with a devilish grin. “Maybe you ought to have a go at him when I’m done.”

Geralt makes a reedy, whiny noise and comes, messily, spending himself over the bed and staring at Jaskier all the while.

Jaskier gasps. He blushes. Then he turns and runs back to his room as fast as his legs will carry him.

–

The day after that, Jaskier hides out in the library, fussing over the books without reading any of them. He can’t get the image of Geralt being fucked out of his head, and he can’t imagine what the hell Geralt had been thinking leaving the door open like that. Almost like he wanted to be seen. The idea makes Jaskier’s skin prickle.

Vesemir finds him in the library at midday, nodding politely and settling himself in an alcove to read a massive dusty tome on beast classification. Jaskier can’t sit still, worrying his lip between his teeth, wanting to ask for advice but unsure how to proceed.

“Out with it,” Vesemir says after a while, snapping his book shut. “Whatever you want to ask me.”

Oh. He is perceptive. “It’s, ahh, it’s about Geralt.”

Vesemir sighs. “What’s he done now?”

“Nothing! Well, nothing important. I just never realised he was so, umm, popular with the other Wolves.”

“You mean the fact he’s fucking all of them?”

Jaskier swallows wrong and coughs.

“Geralt has a lot of affection to give,” Vesemir says with a shrug. “Though gods know it’s hard to tell from that sour expression that’s always on his face.”

Jaskier fidgets. “And are you and he, you know… ?”

“No, little bard. He’s like a son to me.”

Jaskier lets out a breath. Thank the gods. He want sure he’d have been able to cope with that.

“Guess it’s just you and me being left out then,” he jokes.

Vesemir snorts. “Mmm. I’m sure.”

Jaskier has no idea what to make of that.

–

Jaskier dithers about returning to his room that night. It’s not that he’s been avoiding Geralt, not exactly. It’s just that he’s not quite sure what to say to him so he’s arranged for himself to be elsewhere.

What do you say to your best friend when you’ve watched him being fucked and you both clearly enjoyed it?

Maybe it won’t be a problem. Maybe now Geralt has had three witchers on three consecutive nights he’ll be sated.

That doesn’t seem very likely. Jaskier catches himself hoping it’s not.

Eventually he caves, heading to his room through the drafty corridors and down the crumbling steps, his hands sweating as he approaches Geralt’s room.

This time, it’s quiet. No panting or whispered words or sounds of carnal activity. That’s the tiniest bit disappointing, if he’s honest.

The door is open though, candlelight spilling out onto the floor. He looks in as he passes and Geralt is lounging on his bed, wearing a loose shirt which for some godsforsaken reason is unbuttoned all the way down, and a pair of trousers tight enough to leave little to the imagination. Jaskier inhales sharply.

“Jaskier,” Geralt looks up, smiling coyly, and that’s an unnerving expression to see on his face. “I was hoping you’d pass by.”

“Oh? Right. Yes, well, here I am. And here you are. Though I see you’re, ahh, alone tonight.”

“Not any more. Not now you’re here.” Geralt’s eyes looks almost black in the flickering light.

“I suppose that’s technically true…”

“Did you like watching?” Geralt asks it so casually, like he’s discussing Jaskier’s wine preferences. “Last night, and the nights before?”

Jaskier swallows. He can’t very well deny it. “Yeah. I liked it.”

Geralt smirks. “I thought so. You want to watch again? Or, better yet, join in this time?”

It hadn’t even occurred to Jaskier that joining in could be an option. An image flashes through his mind: Geralt bend over, spreading himself for him, making those delicious noises as Jaskier warms him up. He feels light headed as all the blood in his body rushes southward. “You’d… like that?”

Geralt cups himself through his trousers, stroking the outline of his hardening cock through the fabric and making sure Jaskier sees what he’s doing. “I’d like that a lot.”

Jaskier is still standing in the doorway like an idiot when he hears footsteps and raucous laughter echoing down the corridor.

Eskel, Lambert and Coen come barreling toward Geralt’s room and Lambert gives him a wink. “Back again?” he asks Jaskier. “We were hoping you’d return.”

Coen claps him on the back. “Welcome to the team.”

They’re a team? Jaskier looks back to Geralt, who is leering at the four of them and playing with himself. Apparently, yup, they’re the let’s all fuck Geralt team now.

“Come on, Jask, don’t be shy,” Eskel smiles at him warmly. “I’ll show you how Geralt likes it. We’ll even let you go first.” Lambert scoffs at that but Eskel cuffs him round the back of the head. “Be polite to our guest for once in your life,” Eskel chides.

The three of them push past Jaskier and into the room, laughing and chatting, though Jaskier still stands frozen on the threshold. He looks back to Geralt, who has taken his dick out of his trousers and is ignoring the other wolves to stare at Jaskier.

“Are you sure?” Jaskier asks, quiet.

Geralt grins wickedly. “So very sure.”

Jaskier feels like he has been handed his life’s desires on a silver platter. His heart races, imagining everything he wants to do to Geralt, everything he can do now.

He takes a deep breath and steps into the room.

[alicepao13]

I know they call Eva a libertarian, I see her more as an edgy wannabe anarchist.

It fits. Especially since she wasn't seeking to profit from the website, something that a libertarian would be all for.

I don’t think he was thinking. At least not with his brain.

Agreed.

I relate to Eva’s description of the fog of depression. It’s been a rough year for me in that regard.

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it gets better.

Eva: “According to what your laws allow?” Me: Oh STFU, you live in a society.

Yeah, I don't really get these people. I have issues with certain laws myself but she seems to have issues first and foremost with authority (as a lot of libertarians and/or anarchists) and it always seems to me that people who disagree with the basis of how a society is formed should be the ones to pull away from that society. We cannot possibly get an entire societal system to conform to the demands of a handful of people. Fun fact, libertarians tried to create a libertarian society in a town and they utterly failed. But it was a fun read. https://newrepublic.com/article/159662/libertarian-walks-into-bear-book-review-free-town-project

Random, but I’m pretty sure I drove past that cliff when I was in Newfoundland. (Yeah I know it has a lot of cliffs but I swear it looked familiar.)

They have all kinds of wonderful landscapes, I'm jealous.

I was one of the ones who made one of those comments and my rationale is face value: white male cop, in position of responsibility for the security of this vulnerable (at least we’re led to think so at the time) woman. Did she initiate? Yes. Should he have stopped it? Yes, absolutely and so should Jesse and Sarah but as previously established, none of them were at their finest in this episode. Now, looking at the situation, was Charlie actually the vulnerable one who was taken advantage of? Absolutely. My face value commentary is just about the surface level power dynamics at play that is the main reason this episode gives me the ick.

To me, it's what makes this episode interesting. That a guy who, for all intents and purposes, should have the upper hand in that interaction, gets bested (and I don't mean just the distraction with the kiss) and even Rex, who would in a lot of cases save him from falling for it acts as a vehicle for Eva to gain Charlie's trust, when Rex is there to do the exact opposite, to get criminals and witnesses to open up. A lot of things don't work as well as they should in this episode but it's still fascinating.

Yes to all of this. But apparently we are expecting too much from this show beyond the surface level stuff they give us. We’re the ones who will always want them to go deeper, and I don’t think the writers necessarily get to or perhaps want to explore that depth as much as we would like. Because at its heart the show is supposed to be about super doggo, and not so much the humans’ feelings. But as s4 and s5 have proven, they can do both. And sometimes they do it well.

I'm sure not even the majority of the audience wants them to dig deeper. I can imagine that any writer worth their salt would want to explore the characters further. But the recipe for most long-standing crime shows is that you offer a morsel of information about the character, and nothing more. Or at least the classic ones. Anyway, I wouldn't even go as far to say that all these writers are worth their salt, so the hypothesis about their intentions collapses before it even begins. It's a shame because I've had the chance to witness how a good script and a good writer can actually transform a mediocre production, and if this can happen in Greece, then it can certainly happen in Canada.

Hudson and Rex S04E07 - A Stab in the Dark Web Part B

"We've got a surveillance team in place." That's great. Will you remember this in a few hours? Will they, even? Why were they so "discreet" as to let Eva near Charlie's laptop when they knew she shouldn't be on it?

Sarah is not jealous AT ALL. Nope. Not picking up anything.

"I'm so going to take advantage of this information."

Like, how can I not pin this on the whole team? Joe suggested that Charlie's place was the best place for Eva to be in, when they already thought that they were compromised, which meant that they should have assumed their home addresses were compromised as well. Charlie leaves Eva alone at his house so that Rex can go pee instead of calling either Sarah or Jesse to take him out, which would leave one cop in the van and one guarding Eva, instead of having two in the van (which helps at nothing) and zero in the house. Then we have the house which is supposedly under surveillance by Jesse and Sarah, supposedly watching, but they don't alert Charlie to the fact that Eva touched his laptop. Once Charlie realizes that she's done that, he takes her explanation at face value and doesn't ask Jesse to check his laptop.

The graphic for the disappearing chat messages on the dark web is fun.

I've had some contact with libertarians over the years, more than I'd personally like. All the talk about revolutions and whatnot, and their fondness for the dark web are indeed real. When crypto had first risen, lots of them were salivating at the idea of an unregulated and anonymous form of currency, and even more when they discovered private cryptocurrencies (which supposedly offer an extra layer of anonymity). It's funny, though, that they thought even for a bit that governments and banks would let them do that. Anyway, what I want to say is that Joe wouldn't know how to talk to that person at all. But let's disregard that.

"I can't believe that I left her with a laptop and she opened it! I said no electronics!"

And then he gives her his phone too. Forget Sarah, why didn't Jesse burst into the house?

It's true that the way some drugs are regulated actually hinders some people who could benefit from them, instead of helping. Still, in that moment, Eva is pretty much selling a sob story to Charlie, which isn't even the whole truth since she also needed those drugs for herself, to try to get him on her side.

This is a very appropriate distance.

Sarah looks like she'd fallen asleep and just woke up for the good part. Which would actually make more sense than whatever they were doing in the van with Jesse.

First time I watched this I was like, eh, let the guy kiss someone if it's not Sarah. I hadn't realized he was entering his slut era. Also, yeah, Sarah, they are, this is a very astute observation.

And Jesse is entering his pervert era.

I can't decide if he was thinking "I'm so screwed" or "I wonder if Sarah is watching".

I love that Rex is thoroughly disappointed by that development. Rex was all of us in S4.

And then the ninjas attacked. I'm assuming our surveillance is too busy watching the Charlie Hudson show to see the guy approaching the house?

Dude had knives everywhere. Charlie was lucky he wasn't hit (and I was unlucky).

"I'm having a really bad day. Thank you for letting me get off some steam."

This is the only slightly disapproving look I can find. I mean, given the circumstances, she could have said something.

What a plot twist! She lied and she used you, Charlie. Also, again, where were the rest of you when she was using Charlie's laptop?

More bad news.

I... have questions. Like, where did the paramedics go? Did she make them abandon the ambulance? And was that before or after she tied Rex to the stretcher? This scene was executed sloppily.

Congratulations, you finally figured out why he wouldn't leave Eva's side. I think that played a part in Charlie trusting Eva.

Their brilliant ideas to subdue an angry guard dog is: pet behind the ears, put jazz music... Are you kidding me? At least Jesse thought of food.

I feel like they should have made Mercurius seem more scary and money-hungry or even power-hungry.

In which season?

Sorry, that's just funny. I really don't think he's ever made the first move.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Oh god, he still doesn't get it. Because it was easier for her to manipulate you when you didn't have all the facts!

Bold of you to assume that Charlie would follow, but he's definitely not at his best. This is actually using Rex as Charlie's weakness, unlike the previous episode. Although I don't think Charlie should risk that jump regardless. Also, really, a dog wouldn't have made it? I find that hard to believe, they seem like better jumpers than humans. And have more legs.

Yeah, even at his worst, he will do the right thing.

Oh, yeah, we forgot all the hitmen that might come for her. Whoops.

The more they show that cliff, the more confident I become that Rex would have survived it and Charlie wouldn't.

Angst.

Joe: "There's nothing you or any of us could have done." Except for your jobs, but better?

Poor Charlie. He's definitely not okay. I wish they'd written something deeper about what's wrong with him.

And this is Eva letting Charlie know that she made it and even had time to hack the app to let him know that she's okay.

I like this episode but it always makes me think of what it could have been if it was another show, another production and another network involved.

Once again, I'd like to focus on the fact that after a certain point in the episode where it becomes clear that Charlie's head is not in the game, no one says anything about it. No one pulls him back, no one asks if he's okay or even what the fuck he's doing. I guess they keep all the second-guessing for the last episode of the season. Charlie tried to do his job until the very end but I think the distractions were just too much for him and they're indicative of his state of mind.

And they all made mistakes. I still don't know where to pin the surveillance failure, there were two people in the van. They should have intervened in two separate instances, one to take the laptop away from Eva and one to intercept the masked guy who also might have strolled right next to the van. Am I to presume that they put cameras inside the house and not outside? Where they suspecting Eva more than they suspected someone would show up to kill her? In both cases, they failed.

Again, this less than stellar performance from our characters is a great reason for Adele to show up and say that they need more oversight. But some part of this would have to make it to the reports for that to happen.

I've written thoughts on this episode before. I'd pointed out that Eva notices some sort of kinship and attraction between her and Charlie and she tries to use them to her advantage. Which is why the morality of their kiss is more complex than it seems at first glance. At first glance it might seem like he's the one taking advantage. He's not. Is it still wrong that he let her kiss him, and from the way the scene is shot, for several seconds too? Yes. But I remember from the first moment this episode came out, reading about how he was in a position of power. And in that scene, to me, he always comes off as... powerless. Lost.

I understand the contradictory opinions this episode causes. Personally, I like the episodes where there is an upset. We have too many episodes where everything feels like another day on the job, and it doesn't seem to affect them in either way and the repercussions begin and end in that episode. In this one we do see Charlie visibly upset. I'd have liked to see the rest of the team more worried about him or even frustrated and not understanding his predicament. I'd have liked friction more than getting a mention in the finale. There was something there worth exploring.

I'll say again that it would have been a much better storyline to write something about depression or PTSD for Charlie rather than heartbreak throughout the season. Or a combination. He has been through a lot. Maybe I'm asking again too much of this show and this belongs to fanfictions.

[dragontamer-nia-2]

Olivier [Beyblade theories on crack]

Welcome to my random rants about random beyblade things. I have a lot of things to say about the Euro Team and how tragically underestimated and undervalued they are, as characters, but also as very smart plot devices, so in these posts I'm gonna pick a fight with the writers and yell at clouds while probably drunk. If you want a trip, and you think you don't like the Euro team, then jump on.

This guy. 

I love this guy.

This guy is great and I swear to god they knew what they were doing when they decided when and how to introduce him.

So, from the encounter at the top of the Eiffel Tower in ep 33 we know that this guy is mysterious and that he blades; he randomly starts roasting the Bladebreakers unprovoked, which is always fun, but fucks off before anything interesting can happen. What the writers decided to do in the next episode was split up the team, and have them find out more about Olivier separately: since everywhere they go they meet someone that has at least heard of him, we can't help but feel that this guy is kind of a big deal. From Max we learn that he's bloody rich, from Rei we learn that he's a great cook, from them both (when two guys conveniently share the information right in front of them… anime logic) we learn that he's the best blader in France, and from Takao and Kyouju we learn that he likes art, and… prepare your tinfoil hats, guys, because we're going deep.

The thing is, we know this guy is manipulative, and we know it because he offers Takao lunch in his own super expensive restaurant to distract him from the fact that he just ruined hundreds of people's day. Kyouju even points out that something's wrong when he sees Takao go into the Louvre absolutely furious at Olivier, and then sees them come out like buddies. We also know it because… come on guys, have you seen his face? Have you seen his evil smirk? He's a walking troll face. It's like the animators want us to not trust him. And yet, every background character seemingly adores him, even though we don't really get a specific reason why.

I mean… this is a kids show, I know. And the writing is messy most of the times. But this guy. This guy is shady as fuck. You can take him at face value and assume he's a well-meaning asshole, completely oblivious to normal interpersonal relationships, living in rich people's world where he can just do whatever the fuck he wants. Or. He could be one bad day away from being a chaotic-evil type of supervillain, because it's almost like he's doing everything he possibly can to lure and provoke Takao into battle while holding the façade of smiles and politeness. And the funny thing is that Takao doesn't even notice his intimidation attempts (while Kyouju falls for them at every step)

But, exactly, how manipulative is he? And, more importantly, is he even aware of it? Let's assume the worst about him for a second, that everything he did and said had the purpose to push buttons and provoke a reaction. Then just in episode 34 we have the following:

- He reserves the whole Louvre knowing that the Bladebreakers were going around famous tourists attractions

- He immediately interrupts Takao and makes him waste time on honorifics before letting him speak

- He invites Takao and Kyouju, two guys clearly not dressed for the occasion and who probably don't know proper etiquette, to his high class, really expensive restaurant, serves them delicious food he cooked himself, and even implies that he could kick everyone else out if he wanted to

- He namedrops that one guy from Team Who, in a conversation that really wasn't going in that direction, and then uses the bait to imply that he's much stronger than those guys, knowing fully well that Takao was having a hard time the previous day against them

- He basically corners Takao into battling in the middle of a fucking public park, knowing that there are a lot of people around and everyone wants to see the French champion battle

Now. The thing is, I can't prove he's the Machiavellian mastermind I suspect him to be, and the only way this whole thing works is that, in this episode, Olivier somehow got Takao and Kyouju alone and the rest of the team (Kai in particular) is not there to call Olivier out on his bullshit.

On the Eiffel Tower, at the very end of ep 33, Olivier did mention, among other things, that he has unresolved business with Team Who, and it's Kai that questions him to get more information. And what does Olivier do? He immediately cuts him off with "none of your business" and basically flees. We even get a reaction shot of Kai. Afterwards, Kai goes around trying to find out more information about Olivier on his own, and spies on the battle unseen. What's going on here? Well, Kai is not like his teammates, he's not naive, he knows what manipulation looks like and I think Olivier realizes it. That's why Olivier doesn't even try to play dumb with him like he does with basically everyone else, and that's why Kai circumvents the problem by playing bully with random kids instead of trying to confront him directly.

And I know all of this may be "chemicals are making the frogs gay" level tinfoil, but come on, just look at Olivier's reaction when Takao barges into the Louvre and somehow finds him. What does he looks like he's thinking?

At the end, it doesn't really matter, because Olivier doesn't win like he expects. Granted, at this point he can't lose - because the arc has just begun and Takao needs to work harder, and because Olivier already shit-talked Team Who in two different occasions while the writers want them to be a legit threat for the Bladebreakers. But Olivier can't win either, because we're already at the end of episode 34, we have three teams to juggle, and Takao can't keep losing and having to fight against the same people the whole arc. So they tie… and Olivier is shook. He miscalculated. For some reason this guy, this clueless, impulsive idiot, didn't lose immediately and neatly like he expected. And since Olivier does have honor, and respects people stronger than him, he immediately changes his tone, shuts down the peasants that don't understand these kind of things, and he starts treating Takao like an actual person (kinda).

Option A) Oh, what's this guy doing here while the Louvre should be closed?

Option B) How lucky, I caught him alone

One thing that stands out, though, is that he is the one member of the Euro Team who never loses. They had reasons to make his fight with Takao a tie, but why did they make him tie with Rei? Although I do have my own little theory about this, I noticed that he's the only member of the Euro Team that actually has other things going on in his life other than beyblade. The guy is rich, he is very interested in art, he works as a chef and wins culinary competitions. The fact that he's probably a bored psychopath is balanced by the fact that he seems to have his personal life together, he doesn't put his whole worth into spinning tops clashing against each other, and he has the self-confidence to admit when he was wrong. Which is… more than we say about the other European guys.

So, I'm thinking, because this is called Beyblade theories on crack after all, and there's too much reasonable stuff in this post so far… maybe the writers wanted to use the Euro Team to make a point about not winning, and being ok with it, and they really couldn't make it with the Bladebreakers because they are the protagonists. They can't lose - not permanently. Olivier doesn't win, twice, and… he's shook that he miscalculated, he seems to be honestly confused, his whole drive is not winning, but understand what's going on. That's why he sends the Bladebreakers to Giancarlo, that's why he convinces him to bring them to Ralf, he does want to study Takao, and… is he using the rest of the Euro Team as guinea pigs? Or did he notice something that's missing in them, and subconsciously wants to fix it?

Here's my hot take, and the conclusion to this dumb post. Olivier is not aware of his own machinations. He's a natural manipulator and he has a talent to read people or get info out of them, and he mainly does this by playing dumb and wait until people scream at him who they are and what they want. He reads the Euro Team, he reads the Bladebreakers, and realizes one thing: they could help each other. He baits Takao with the prospect of more beybattles and then follows him to see what happens. If it's chaos, good, if it's some life lesson, better. He manages to get Giancarlo on board and the both of them, combined with Takao, eventually get to Ralf. But what Olivier doesn't realize is that the very thing that he is subconsciously asking Giancarlo, Johnny, and Ralf to fix, is their inability to lean on other people, their skeptical and wary natures, their need to be perfect, without weaknesses, in the eyes of the world; and if Olivier was aware of his own machinations he would have realized sooner that, all this time, all he wanted was to have friends. And if I’m right about anything about this, then the writers will have done a good job with at least one member of the Euro Team, because it’s not only a fucking genius way to introduce the arc, the team, and the theme, but he’s also a damn good character.

I love this guy.

[azenta]

I don't really trust Fe descriptions from most bloggers, because they are Fi users and its shows. Is tertiary Fe considerably different from inferior or is it a situation were what matters is that it's low?

Tbh, any function when placed in tertiary vs inferior, or dominant vs auxiliary, auxiliary vs tert, and so on, will make a considerable difference. So, it is not simply a matter of being low or high, it is rather a matter of being tert vs inf, in this case.

As a general rule, the tertiary function is usually adored by the person, to a point where the phenomenon of loops happen, but we are not so great at it. Also, we tend to get delusional about the tertiary, about how good and in control of it we are. While with the inferior, we dont much appreciate it, or at least push it away without a second thought, and we also suck at it. Grips happen when we feel screwed hard time and we are into auto-destruct mode, while loops happen because of egotistic reasons, to maintain our delusions of self as a poor attempt to protect the self (mainly dominant function). This is why inferior function means last resort and very poor results, and tertiary function means ego boosting with an unreasonable evaluation of it. Therefore, ExTPs and IxTPs really dont share the same view nor do use their Fe the same way, which leads to quite some differences.

ExTPs are renown for being ass because they get overconfident over their Fe. They get amazed by it, but use it poorly. At average to low health/development, tert Fe is a tool to satiate their Pe, so to pick on possibilities and feed their need to have as much possibilities as desired. Thus why it is described as inconsiderate, because it is used for ego purposes (the dominant). When healthier and more developed, they use it much more carefully and actually become considerate but in their own fashion, so more as dedicated perceiver of the multiple factors affecting people involved.

On the other hand, IxTPs do not care about Fe and try the least possible to use it. Or, as any type, they think they do not care, but it is fundamentally any type's weak spot. Fe is their last concern, they incorparate its judgement only when they feel they have explored the most potent possibilities and made sense of them. Then, they incorporate how that fall into an ethical perspective, however they dont necessarily budge their Ti over Fe's conclusions, at least when average to low health/development. They constate their opinions of the world fall in this particular good or right greater category and just wing it. Therefore, it makes them much more aloof and apathetic than ExTPs that willingly exploit ethical rules to bring out more possibilities. In other words, ExTPs playfully follow or use those ethical rules, as they gain something from it, while IxTPs rather feel restrained from it. ExTPs will incorporate some Fe into their Ti framework, they perceive it as rather important to have some of those rules in mind, but IxTPs will judge it as an after thought to deal with, until they further develop their auxiliary and mature up a bit, which will finally make them more cautious and considerate.

Tho, i'd make a nuance and say we still unconsciously care and incorporate the inferior into our dominant, but we tend to use it as an egotistic justification of our dominant sometimes just to show "i know this shitty inf thing is a thing and i swear i took it into account!", even tho it was distorted to serve the dominant. IxTPs like to moralize people with Fe and pointing out how the other person is "worse" than they are for some random ethical reasons, just so their Ti looks even more logical. But contrary to ExTPs, it is not to actually consider the other, but rather to enhance their own Ti PoV. Even tho, arguably, ExTPs are considerate until it doesnt serve them anymore, then their selfishness surface up when immature.

If you want a reminder of what Fe is, it is a general judgement made through a learned set of ethical rules and morals, independent of what the individuals care about or value. Ti is the function in Fe/Ti type that reflect the personal principles the individual abide to. Therefore, Fe type tend to act on stuff "by ethical principal" and not always because they "truly care about". xxTPs are much more transparent about their caringness, they are known to be inconsiderate because they value their own principles and truth over how ethical or good it is for other people, however it makes them more truthful about how they really care. While it is true xxFJs might act as caring out of principle but might feel totally in contradiction with this action. Thus their reputation for being the teenage bratty bitch. Their low Ti think otherwise, but their high Fe (x Pi) tells them how the impact could be devastating and undesirable, therefore they rather be "nice" or at least twist what they are going to say so it is considerate. It has the beneficial to care for the other's sake, but at the price of the high Fe's true feeling sometimes. High Ti are much more brutal because of how they actually let their real thought out, but they lack tact (especially IxTPs) in how to present their truth. One sugercoats too much to the point of loosing some of their truth, while the other should put some sprinkles so people are receptive to them.

I hope it is detailed enough for you, if not you can ask for precision and i'll see what i can add.

[acadstuds]

my first ever year in uni is done! to commemorate, I’ve wanted to share how I experienced college and how I coped through it, with the stress and all. although with the current times, some of these may not be relevant as of the moment since most have transitioned to online classes, though when the time comes and we can all do onsite classes once again, I hope this would help you guys in some way! 😊 this is typewritten in laps lock btw sorry hihi

(note that I said ‘kinda’ since these are all just personal opinions and obviously, we all have different experiences hehe but nonetheless I hope this is helpful ily all <3 also, I put related links in some parts so that you guys can check it out if you want!)

what to expect in uni?

adjustment period. this is inevitable. the length varies to each person, however. some may instantly click within just a day, but others it may take weeks. hey, it's okay. don't beat yourself up for it. it takes time! you'll learn to be comfortable with your surroundings in time.

adapting to new surroundings. like I said, this varies. but personally, it would be great it if you become familiar with places around your uni and all the hidden treasures it has for you within your first few weeks. this will make it easier for you to find a place you can call your own nook, where you can feel comfortable staying while studying, like a hole-in-the-wall cafe or study hub. this helps give you a sense of constancy, having a place that you can always go to.

feeling like an outsider. it happens. being a freshman obviously means that you don't know anything that happens within the campus. the traditions are all new to you and don't be embarrassed if you're not aware of it beforehand. heck, most of them doing it probably don't even know them when they were freshmen either. soon, you'll come to learn about it, and it may even become part of your traditions as well!

how to make friends?

try to at least to make one friend or two during the start, especially when you are given tours or any freshmen activity the uni has prepared, so you won't be alone and risk getting lost by yourself!

if you have a block, this goes the same as well! a simple smile and some small talk can do wonders. then again, it is completely understandable if you can't make the first move. don't fret over it! there will be a lot of friendly and nice people who can do so, and you can start from there :)

but remember also, this people you get to know may or may not be the ones you'll be spending your whole college life with. sometimes by the end of the year, you're not even seeing the first people you hung out with, and that's completely okay! but also remember to have at least someone with you, a support system if you may call it. I swear it will make your life in college 100x more bearable, especially if you're far away from your friends back at home.

(quick disclaimer: I commute my way to uni, so I don't have a dorm, but I have tons of friends who do! so here's what I learned through them, especially during the times I had to stay the night at their place for a requirement or a night out drinking hehe)

having a designated container for everything

this makes everything easier to navigate to, especially if you're running late since you already know what you need to get and where to get it. if you have roommates, this makes it easier for you to know whose is who and avoid mixing all of your things together.

you can buy some cute little boxes for your containers to add some decorations, but if you decide to go with some old brown food pack boxes, as long as you know where you're putting them, go ahead.

how you decide to organize them in the container, however, is completely up to you. to recommend, I would like to follow the ever so famous KonMari method (here’s a good article to understand all about it, with videos!) as this has really made it easier for me personally in my own room, as I have my own containers as well.

stay clean - please do.

for starters, I think it's completely necessary to at least clean your room, like a general cleaning, once a month.

sweeping the floor? at least twice a week.

taking the trash out? at least every other day.

cleaning/organizing your desk? every time before you go to bed or before class. 

this will help not just in making everything more sanitized, but it’s also a good way to practice self-discipline. cleaning is also known to be very therapeutic! (great article links here: x, x) like they say, a clear desk, clear mind. keeping your space clean is the least you can do for yourself.

roommates

it is both a hit or miss if you're roommates with a friend. believe me. this can either strengthen your relationship, or not.

the important thing here is that you both respect each other's privacy, and each other's space. all the better if both of you are on the same page when it comes to how to clean your place, but if not,   the best thing is that you make it clear between the both of you to not interfere with one another when it comes to your sides of the room. i've had friends whose dorm looks like two different places at once, but they made it work!

essentials

my previous post regarding my bag essentials (here) is still the same as ever even in uni, with just a few additions! you can click the link if you want to see the whole length of it, but if you can’t, here’s a summary of what I think is the most needed things in your bag:

water bottle (drink your h2o pls)

sanitary kit + medicine kit

power bank (with a cord ofc)*

extra change

earphones

alcohol/hand sanitizer (!!!)

mask*

umbrella* (side note: the weather whenever I’m in uni seems to be so random I swear, it’s all sunny then after not even an hour passes, it’s so cloudy and looks like it could rain anytime! So yes, umbrella is needed.)

*these are new additions from the previous post I did! make sure those items that have cords have cord holders, too! So it’s more organized 😉

how to organize them

there isn’t really an exact way to organize it, but again, the best thing for me is to make sure that it is accessible for you to get what you need quickly. I personally use small containers to keep those with the same purpose together (like the kits and a pouch for my power bank and earphones)

if your bag has pockets on the side, put your water bottle there and your umbrella to save some space inside!

to avoid any possible theft, put your most valuable items at the bottom of your bag (like for example, your wallet, if you don’t need it and you have some loose change with you, put it at the bottom)

keeping it clean

my only advice for this is that you should clean and organize your bag pretty frequently. like your room, cleaning your bag can also be therapeutic (refer to previous links!). taking the trash out like scrap paper and other junk can be actually be cathartic for you and help release some stress.

importance of tracking expenses

here’s the thing: money can be pretty scary. even though I still live at  home with my parents, balancing my allowance for the week is pretty stressing! what more for those far away from their homes? you really need to be aware of what you’re buying and how much money you’re spending each day so that you can track and find the best way to utilize your allowance.

it's so tempting to spend a lot, especially when you’re with friends. It would be better if you and your friends also keep it in mind on checking your expenses! me and my friends, to save, would just usually go to the same place most days of the week that has a menu that is within our budget. this is so that when we have plans on going out by the end of the week or after a hellish one, we have some money to spare and splurge on!

It’s a good thing to note, especially in countries where student loans are commonly used, that tracking expenses and saving money can be extremely helpful in the long run. (I live in the PH so I am entirely familiar with student loans in the US and other countries so here’s an article that I think could help regarding saving money as a college student: link here)

why you need to save

learning how to save money is pretty beneficial for you and your discipline with handling money. this will definitely let you realize the value of it.

having extra money is extremely important because there will always be times when you suddenly need to spend, whether it be for a requirement or an emergency, and you need to prepared for those situations.

personally, saving money makes me feel independent and that I can manage on my own even if I still live with my parents. for those that are far away from their homes, this can be the same for them, too.

some tips in saving money

budgeting your money. my way of budgeting my money is that I would always take off 10-15% of my allowance first and immediately put that part of my savings for the week. after, I would equally divide the remaining money to each day I have classes for my lunch and commute (I only have classes 4 days a week with a uniform schedule, so I work around that). there would be times that I overspend due to needed contributions for requirements, so I make sure to always check how much there is of my savings and if ever, I would lower the 10-15% savings for that week to about 5%.

If you don’t need it immediately, don’t buy it. my rule for this is if I take more than 5 minutes to think about if I need or not, then it just means that I don’t need it immediately, so I let it go. If you really need that particular item, you wouldn’t spend so much time wondering if you really need to. so, bye and see you when I need you!

group meals all day, every day! sharing meal combos with your friends are definitely one of the best ways to save since you all are saving some extra cash. make sure to plan accordingly with your friends so that you get the best deal, and eat some good food without hearing a cry from your wallet.

student discounts are lifesavers. no matter how small or big the percentage off is, it will sure be a blessing so use it whenever you can! (the psychology students of my college have a organization called PsychSoc and all of us psych students are given these ‘psych cards’ that you can use with a 10% discount to all the stores given in the card, and yes you can say that I am using my card a lot haha)

there are a lot more that I would share that I think is extremely helpful especially to my fellow Filipinos, but I’m planning to make a separate post for that!

importance of managing your time with studies and orgs

admittedly, healthy study habits are hard to keep up with. this is especially challenging if you’re in an org or a club that’s pretty active and you have to split your time with it and your studies. keeping a routine can with help that! it is extremely important that you have a guide to follow so that you won’t feel like you’re swarmed with all of the pending tasks to do, whether it’s for your org or your class.

starting a routine. beginning something is always awkward, and sometimes you don’t know where to start so here’s some simple things I can suggest:

cutting back on your time on social media and streaming websites and adding more to your study time. that series you want to binge-watch? it can wait. set a time in your week where you can watch it and try to pace yourself. that goes for whatever is happening on twitter, facebook, or any social media.

trying the pomodoro technique! old, but gold. here’s a great post regarding it: (x)

doing your papers or other tasks immediately. better start now, than regret not doing so later. finishing a task immediately means you’re already done with one thing on your list, and this will help prevent you from piling up things on your to do list and cram at the last minute!

schedule non-academic or non-org related group hangouts after major activities and not before. you’re friends need to be on the same page with you with this, and it’s better that you are all agreeing with setting a night out on a date that is academic free, so you won’t have to worry about passing or attending something the next day.

understand that sometimes it’s okay to prioritize one over the other. if you have a major exam upcoming, talk to your org officers and tell them the you won’t be attending that much, they will understand! and also, tell yourself that it’s okay to shorten your study time for an important org event. you don’t have to always split your time equally, you just to need to split it based on what is more important for you at the moment.

 And lastly,

why you shouldn't forget to have fun

come on, you’re in college! have fun, meet new people, go out and drink (responsibly) and just feel like a college student. You don’t always have to be studying, you should make time for yourself to take a break and just relax and interact with your friends.

this will make things more bearable. college is an experience and you should experience it to the fullest. make your time count! doing this makes it easier to cope with your college life in the long run.

having fun is okay. don’t forget that! with all the stress coming through, especially during finals week, adding some fun makes it worth it. doing group studies with your friends, with you guys actually studying, is bound to bring some unexpected funny moments you’ll never forget. taking a breather from studying and playing some games can also be beneficial for you to relieve some stress. and like I said, maybe cleaning can help, too! just make sure that you’re not relaxing or studying too much, as too much can be harmful. always remember to try to balance things out, and that you got this! go and kick college’s butt!

thanks for making it up to here! it means a lot! and while we’re at it, buy me coffee? https://ko-fi.com/acadstuds <3

[sun13koi]

🫂🫂

Heres some little rants!

warning- swears

SUNFISH- OH MY GODS- theyre so stupid. they can even fish right. So you see, these things are built like PANCAKES. TEN FEET BIG PANCAKES. They’re so bad at being fish.

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Excepti this big dumb idiot. And it's not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world's largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn't put them where they need to fucking go. So they don't have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn't just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it'll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently!

Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it's basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. "If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators." No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it's so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) "Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!" Do not let that expression fool you, they just don't have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. "Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us." Yes, thank you. "But if they're so bad at literally everything, why haven't they gone extinct." Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT'S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that'll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.

Beta fish- MALES are the colorful ones! Drag queens of the fish world! The females are beautiful neutrals, while the guys are vibrant blues, reds, pinks, and any color under the rainbow! This is so the males attract females, and the females can stay safe while laying eggs!

seals- there’s a kind of seal that can grow up to 11 feet long :0

the first one was a copy pasta on Reddit- I would have said it myself, but this just is something that couldn’t be worded better.

do yall ever just be fine and then look in the mirror and start uncontrollably sobbing

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

HELLO I'M BACK!! GUESS WHO HAS A TERM BREAK COMING IN A FEW DAYS I'M VERY HAPPY :D this ask is Very Long so i'm going to split it up into a few parts

part 1/2

But honestly, it would probably be something like “I’m going to bring a (dead) chicken to class for show and tell and you two need to act horrified and cause a ruckus because it would be fun and it would scare the other kids :)”. (this is probably bullying, so in an effort to make them slightly better kids, an alternative plot is that a stray cat has been coming to their school and in order to make friends with it, they feed it a whole-ass dead chicken Nyo China got from the butchers and was planning to cook for dinner. The teachers are horrified and confiscate Yao’s backpack for fear of germs and salmonella.)

hhhhhh the first idea is SO FUN my gremlin repressed anger eight year old self would've loved it. the idea of bringing a stinking plastic bag to school, opening it, revealing a dead, fly-infested chicken and then maybe playing a small game of lobbing the chicken around for funsies is both simultaneously horrifying and amazing. however the second idea is also amazing, one of my previous schools had stray cats and staff and students would feed and pet them (and i miss it :( ) and it was the Best feeling... or maybe they could do BOTH? but this time they're planning to bring a dead chicken to feed the cat (aw, even if yao probably gets detention. also a lecture from nyo china on what exactly you should feed a cat, including why you shouldn't steal the chicken she bought to feed it.) and the next time they can bring like. a bunch of dead flies to show their classmates but in a not bully way. i went once to this family friend's house in a part of the countryside that had an abundance of flies. (i literally haven't thought of this in years i'm remembering so many childhood things because of this omg) they had this paper covered with glue that the flies would land on and then be stuck on the paper. it was both disgusting and amazing to watch a black mass of bulbous bodies straining with their legs (which were probably thinner than my hair) to escape the paper. i also think that indchuran, being both little sadists in the making and having an abudnace of fascination like many children, would take great delight in watching an unsuspecting fly landing on the glue, watch it still, glancing around eerily similarly to when humans realise they have gotten themselves in a bad situation, and then start struggling with all their might to get out. but fuck the flies tho they landed on our food all the time there and it sucked. they can die :)

THE PROBELM is... how will they get that many flies in what i assume would be a gentrified ass area with frequent fumigation efforts given that nyo china would not accept anything than the best elementary education for her ward?? (i have a solution) maybe indus has friends in the countryside and she goes with aditya to visit them. and while they are talking aditya wanders about and discovers a few pieces of paper filled with flies. because he is a gremlin, he is Fascinated with these pieces of paper, and he takes one out to Further Examine. all the adults yell at him, but he is Fascinated and will not be stopped. and then a Thought occurs to him: who would probably enjoy this as much as he would? duh, his friends of course! good things must be Shared even if they're kind of disgusting! so what he does is he gets a disposable plastic tupperware like container, very gently places the fly paper into it, pokes a few holes for air, sprinkles some sugar because he thinks that'll keep them alive, and wraps most of it up in duct tape he found so indus can't see it. unfortunately most of the flies died on the way home because the container was stuffed into aditya's bag and the paper slid to the side + there wasn't enough air, BUT the dead flies are still a Sight to behold when he visits iran's house (which yao is /coincidentally/ visiting) to show them. then he brings it to school after the weekend, and everyone is Fascinated and thinks it is Very Cool, at least until the teachers see it and start screaming. they throw it away but indchuran get an Idea to put dead flies into the bags of people they hate (this is now just bullying) so that opens up a very few interesting weeks of attempts to collect flies in a fumigated city and Horror for the school. fun times for all!

😔 finding and reading that encyclopedia is probably one of my formative memories now and i wish it wasn't 😔 i bet yao during his teenage years would look back on it and be like "... oh my GOD." but i think he would appreciate her directness even if he didn't absorb all the information correctly or remember most of it lmao because it seems like only a very small percentage of the world has actually good sex ed and i don't think indchuran's school would be an exception. at least nyo china like you said instilled a good sense of consent with them 😔 also the idea of saying fuck in mandarin makes me break out in hives the AUDACITY of saying fuck in your first language but of course he would. he WOULD. nyo china probably wouldn't even have purposely taught him that which is why he doesn't know what it means, just that it's an insult, but once they come up to her to complain all she does is give them a Terrifying Contemptuous Glare and steer yao away from them. yao is her kid and therefore entitled to say fuck whenever he wants.

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First things first I hope you had a good term break! this is... very overdue sorry about that :(

Second, ALSK:FJ:SLFDKSFDLKJSLDF the fly infested chicken is disgusting and I want so badly to intervene,,, they need hELP. Please learn about proper sanitation, children, I’m begging you T-T. Also, headcanon accepted: they’re ostensibly bringing it to feed the cats (which is hopefully allowed) but also they want to terrorize (or awe) their fellow classmates with this discovery. Watch the school call up nyo china about this, but she gets annoyed only because yao wasted human food in order to feed cats, not because he brought an inappropriately dead chicken to school that scared the younger kids and fellow classmates lol; what a great value system. Also this scenario def happened:  School: your child got in a fight. Nyo China: Oh no! Did he win?

I am both fully revolted and half fascinated by the flypaper thing because on one hand I CANNOT stand flies, and killing them is 178% gross. But also the way you described it is... very compelling and I would like to experience that, gross as it is lol. So yea I can definitely see those three nastily observing the flies getting stuck to the flypaper one by one... they all intently watch the flypaper with round and curious eyes and it really looks very cute from far away, three heads of fluffy hair close together and bent over something, carrying on an animated whispered discussion, until you get closer and see that they’re watching flies on flypaper •—•;; An even more gross scenario would be if one of them accidentally squashes one and they crowd around to see what fly guts look like 😭 bonus points if it happens during school. Also YES to Indus’s countryside friend; I feel like India would have a lot of fun exploring over there and would be able to bring back v cool stories for city slicker Yao, and also Iran (although I don’t know where they’d live precisely. I feel like they’d probably have a medium sized house with very nice art and Classy furniture (they got good taste from somewhere), but they’d also knows a lot about how rural areas work and stuff, so uh.. suburbs? Or something like that?)

“then he brings it to school after the weekend, and everyone is Fascinated and thinks it is Very Cool. . .” O—O sigh... three balls of absolute chaos. At least the other kids are fascinated this time instead of apprehensive ^-^ but the dead flies in lockers AL:KDSLFDSJF PLEASE NO me as an elementary student would have been absolutely horrified and I. really hope they get detention for that lol; Please Tone Down kids 😔 (also do y’all get flies in the lights at school? Because every single classroom I’ve been in has either had flies, wasps, moths, or some other black spots in the lights and they’d multiply as the year went on 😭 I never thought about it too much but... what if they linger around to watch the lights get cleaned? o-o)

“i bet yao during his teenage years would look back on it and be like "... oh my GOD."” YEAH there’s always a select few memories that make you realize “what even WAS that” and I think this is one lol. Yao just buries it in the back of his spacious mental closet and makes India and Iran swear not to bring it up again but inevitably they do :))))) they find it rather hilarious, actually. Also yes at least Nyo China did a good job in that department!

“also the idea of saying fuck in mandarin makes me break out in hives the AUDACITY of saying fuck in your first language but of course he would” lol I wrote that thinking he'd call someone a 王八* (because it could technically pass as a regular noun o-o. Who knows, maybe he was insulting someone for being slow like a turtle but it got out of hand due to word choice lol) but... the second scenario is quite something... I don't know whether I should laugh or cry. RIP the other parents who just have to fervently hope that disgraceful kid from next door grows out of his foul mouth soon (he never does, just gets better at pretending his language is elegant and not at all dirty XD)

*for non mandarin speakers 王八 is literally a soft shelled turtle, but is actually a pretty big insult in mandarin :)