#like im sitting here thinking a what the ideal scenario would be

[liverpool-enjoyer]

ooooh man oh man the Asexual Angst™️ is hitting HARD tonight 😭😭

[cussima]

How do I persist in the feeling when I don’t trust the feeling will bring me what I desire 🫨

LOOOONG ANSWER IM SORRY

but it's 3:10 AM and you caught me yapping

omg so i don't think you necessarily have to feel to manifest !! i recently realized this when i told myself i'd manifest somebody being different, and i thought that'd leave me in cloud 9 bursting out with love and it didn't. I thought that meant my manifestation hadn't "arrived" yet and I had to make myself come out of my perspective - bubble and realize that my manifestion was indeed here because that person has become kinder !! (and because I'm working on "manifestion is instant" so by that logic my manifestation is here the moment i said it is) so it was just me who didn't feel any different like I thought I would.

Also constantly making yourself feel something feels exhausting to be honest, I wouldn't want manifestation to become so torturous for me, so I simply don't fullfill myself constantly only when I remember my desire.

I now know there are many times where my manifestion was right here and I didn't realize because I didn't feel the way I thought it would. It took me some time to realize this was possible ! (You can manifest something and not feel like the idealized version you had imaged you'd be when you received it, and frankly that might be due to a lack of self-concept work)

I've been applying the law for a year and a half, I like to intertwine it with psychology and the fact that I radically accept we're humans living a human experience, so I'm used to noticing every little way my mind creates my reality.

Similarly sometimes I'll sit down and fully emerge myself on the feeling that I believe a manifestation will bring me, I'll usually manifest and allow myself feel the scenario in full. but that's just because I like the feeling of it, I don't think my manifestion won't happen if I don't do it.

if you think you might lack courage to know you're manifesting you can manifest things that feel smaller, like somebody mentioning a certain topic or somebody playing a song and work up your way up to bigger manifestations

you can also manifest with doubts (sometimes I'll get really anxious and affirm a bunch of times for an outcome and it'll happen, or believe it won't happen but I'll remind myself "the law is the law and whatever i say goes, and things do happen)

As soon as you understand it'll happen because you said it would, then it'll happen.

Also key tip don't focus on the 3d, i know it can be hard sometimes I also forget it but I see the quickest shift when I just imagine the the thing happening and accept it as a true possibility.

the truth is there are no laid out rules for manifesting, i just trust the law. if it's in my head and i say it'll happen/allow it to then it will !

[ineffabildaddy]

(professional voice) hello esteemed tumblr user who insists on the Just A Guy status, ive got a question. you've got quite the hang on the "body worship" tag, or so i've heard through the grapevine. is there any way you'd, perchance, share a tidbit or two on how you write about this particular topic, especially in how crowley and aziraphale see it? im trying to dabble it myself, and would really like some advice so i may be worthy to use this tag one day. if you'd be so inclined. if you wouldn't mind. or something

this a long winded way to say: i love so fucking much on how you talk about trans bodies especially since im fat and trans myself. any advice on helping others to? ❤️

hello!!! i do insist on Just A Guy status, because i'm fumbling my way through with no confidence in what i'm doing, ever - that said, i'm really really honoured that you came to me with this! body worship is something i really really enjoy writing, and intend to write a lot more of in the near future<3

i think there are three ways i could suggest that you approach this, just from my own experience - but forming my ideas on what to write aren't always this conscious. i'm gonna talk about this in the context of aziraphale and crowley because of course those are the characters i write about!!

1 if you feel comfortable, sit down and think, for a moment, about your own body. which parts of it have not historically been loved, either by yourself or by others or both (as a fellow trans person who's also not thin, unfortunately it's not difficult for me to immediately list a whole host of features i possess which i've been made to dislike, or which others have either shown disdain for or disinterest in)?

then, think about how you would like those features to be treated by a lover. which physical actions might someone perform, which words might someone use, that could make you love them, or at least tolerate them a lot better?

2 think about aziraphale and crowley, and the actors who play them in the show. what do you find beautiful about them? what might not be seen as conventionally beautiful in them by society at large?

once you've got that, it could help to think about how you might want them to express that beauty between themselves, or how you might do that if you had a sexual partner who looked like them<3

3 stepping back a little bit from specific bodily features, think more broadly about how you'd like to be treated in the bedroom. imagine an ideal sexual scenario, in which you are indulged in absolutely everything you want, everything you like - even if no one else currently knows you like it but you - with enthusiasm and care. think about your most cradled desires for sex in the emotional sense, too, not just which specific sex acts and techniques turn you on - would you like to feel taken care of? would you like to be thoroughly and curiously explored? would you like to be given an opportunity to express vulnerability?

or is your ideal scenario providing for someone else? if so, how would you like to do that? of course, most sex is a give and take, but it helps to think in extremes about giving and receiving here, because body worship can be more intense in this manner than most sexual practices.

i've used a bit of all of these in I'm Beginning to See the Light, but especially number 1 in chapter 2 and and number 3 in chapter 3:-)

hopefully at least one of these ideas helps you write some body worship! again, thank you so so much for coming to me with this, i am unbelievably honoured<3 i believe in you! i'd love to read anything you might produce in this vein so do feel free to send it over!!!!

[mrstsung]

My hc mk12/mk1 shang tsung self ship au quotes:

*note i only do my hc version of mk12/mk1 shang tsung. This is also just for fun. So canon divergent extreme. Because i have kollectively decided that the storymode is shit,the narrative is shit,and my hc verse is just a young master shang tsung in outworld during his time under the corrupt regime of edenia and outworld. Under shao Kahn's heelboot. That being said enjoy.*

Cw:language,(also it's mortal kombat you should know better),canon divergence,some nsft implications,some angst,self indulgent to hell. Not an x reader. If there is anything i forgot lemme know so i can properly citation this. <3

Green is shang

Purple is me

💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚

"If you can be anything,be a menace to them my dear,much more fulfilling"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why should i trust you?"

"The question you actually wish to ask my dear,is why not? But also can i afford not to? What alternative is there truly? The emperor cares not for earthrealmers,i should know. I was once one of them."

"Fair point. I don't like anyone here. And i need to get back home somehow. So im stuck with you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're lucky he's dead,he would have eaten you....though you have a sweet little soul. I think he may get cavities" *chuckles*

"Are you always this a sarcastic insufferable dick?"

"No,but for you it's just too fun not to be beautiful"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*scenario: hiding from warrior guards. Me n shang unfortunately are hiding in a compromising position. And he's kinda feelin the cobra rise*

"I think we lost them shang"

*notices somethin be poking me back*

"Wait...is that....*whisperes heavily* SHANG!"

*blushes and turns away* "apologizes my dear"

"Ugh" *blushing*

"Could you really blame a man though?,you do have a rather...pleasing posterior"

*blushes harder and gets more mad n flustered* (look im tsundere af im easy to tease. Shang would have a field day with me)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*shang reading a book. Sees me walk into his bed chambers with nothing on but a big ol shirt.*

*puts the book down*

"Oh my,well well. Don't you look delectable ♡"

"It's nothing really. I mean it's a simple big black shirt i had in my backpack,Nothing special. I mean i packed very lightly before i fell into this weird mess of a realm."

"Even so. It fits you oh so nicely. Shows all of your greatest....assets."

"Stop shang,you're just trying to make me feel better" *looks away,kinda feeling low about appearance*

"No,no i mean it. You're beautiful. You think of everyone but yourself. Take care of everyone else but you. You deserve the best in life. And i wouldn't settle for less than. Neither should you."

*sits me in front of a mirror in his bed chambers*

"My dear look at your curves,your hair how it flows. Your beautiful lips. Your dark eyes with yearning. A fire and passion burns in your soul,waiting to be free. And if you let me,and ask of me. I shall help set it free. Free from worry,pain,never again will you doubt yourself."

"I dunno shang,i just think of myself as well...me. nothin really that special."

*shang thinking he needs a better approach. As he realizes flattery can get so far. Though he genuinely means every word. He thinks to himself "this woman has a worried mind,and has been hurt before perhaps." *

"Nonsense! You look at me *lifts my head with finger under my chin* you are special. I have seen into your very soul. You are unique. Every one is. But you,see me as i am. Not as i say. With you i dont need to hide. No honeyed words can sway you,tho your face blushes red. Nothing that i have done so far strays you from me. Even now i show you my place of dwelling and though i am but the emperors courtly mage i still am forced to live in a more less than ideal home. All the gold and treasures you see before is through tournaments in the Coliseum. Nothing but trinkets either from the emperor for being a "good dog" or from the crowds to see slaughter for the bloodsport of the gods. Yet this doesn't frighten you,or turn you from me. I know that feeling of not liking what you see before you. But believe me when i say. A body will rot. But the soul....ah the soul my dear lives on for eternity. It's the truest of ones self. And within you i see a rose among the gardens of weeds and pompous fools gold. A heart that i honestly and deeply can say is Phoenix like. Noble,beautiful, and rising above such insects below you."

"Shang...i...dunno what else to say,i mean I'm flattered but.... Did you mean all that?"

"Every word my dear,every word. But dont just take my words,believe in yourself. Please. I dont like seeing you be so hard on yourself. A man such as i,can not truly pass. But you do,and can. Wish not for a life not worth lived. And loved."

"Shang,i....thank you"

*embraces shang in a deep hug*

*shang embraces back*

(Oof sorry i got carried away there. 😅 but i thought of a scenario where in all honesty i may feel a lil inadequacy in edenia/outworld. Because everyone there looks "appealing" while i feel like an outsider, which i am technically. But fr it would feel awkward. And basically shang telling me. That my looks dont matter my heart and soul does. And edenians and outworlders have a tendency to be fake af and he likes my honesty and down to earth vibe. In other words shang likes my homilyness and none of that "person who tries to hard to look good but has a shitty personality and only likes him for what he can give them and not him for him,even when he is old and grey and low on souls and not doin so hot. Etc" crap he may have gotten before with others.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You will not fucking dare harm her!"

"Less you lose your head reiko"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Shang....what are you doing?"

"Clearly smoking and pondering the universes secrets" *takes a hit from his hookah*

*snickers* "what does the universe tell you oh wise and deep one?"

"It tells me that if you keep up that snark you may find yourself on the receiving end on my dragon's claws" *gestures with clawed rings*

*blush*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ah fuck, quick! what do i do now shang?!"

"If you Kill their pride they'll usually fall down"

*hits the opponent in the balls so hard that it would make 95 johnny cage proud*

"Not exactly what i ment but that'll work"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*me n shang bathing together*

"You know,I've noticed that your sweet side is you best side"

"Well that's a Good thing to hear,because you're the only one who's seen it"

*kisses my forehead*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*this is suggestive.

So take it as you want.>:3c hee hee*

"That's....like a lot shang."

"Apologizes dear,it's been a while"

"How about i clean that up for you? *flirty look*

"I'd like that very much ♡"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well that's all for now. May make some more later.

💚🐍💋

[octoberautumnbox]

I agree with what you said about her being a constant and warm presence. I think it's like when I see or watch her, it makes me think like "she'll be a great gf" that makes me wanting more. But well I try to distract myself now from her and try to talk to other girls, I just think of her now as an "ideal" one. But for now, I'd like to share one of my "made up scenarios".

It's a stressful day at work and I'll have to do my presentation for my project proposal. Not knowing there are business partners from different countries that are there to watch my presentation, it made me more nervous, but I still did a pretty good job. After my presentation, one of the representatives from a Korean company that was in there approached me and said "how would you like to work in Korea?". I'm a big kpop fan and working in there, how could I say no.

The day I move to Seoul comes. The person that gave me the offer was waiting for me in the airport. He toured me around the company I'll be working in and showed where I'll be staying.

I started working now. During my break, I tried going on the local cafe nearby the company, not knowing Jo Yuri is a regular there. I took my order and looked for a vacant table. There was only one table vacant so I just sat there. Later on, Yuri enters the cafe and takes her order. She looked around for a vacant seat but almost all are occupied. She then saw my table having a vacant seat so she approached and asked if she could sit there. I got too excited finally seeing Jo Yuri and she's asking me if she could share tables with me, but my introverted ass surpressed that excitement to myself only. Then of course I let her sit there, how could I say no.

"I'm Yuri by the way" she said then I exchanged my name as well shaking hands with her, pretending I don't know her so she won't feel uncomfortable. But well I couldn't keep my mouth shut so I told her I know her, but kept it low and added that I just know her and I'm not really a fan, bruh how would I get a chance to her if I tell her I'm her biggest fan. Then we proceed to have a little chat until my break is over. "It was nice meeting you."

Comes the other day, I went to that cafe again and once again, it was only that table that's vacant. I sit there and guess what, it's Yuri again asking if she could share tables. Of course we had a little chat again but a less awkward that before.

Comes another day again, but this time there are a lot of vacant tables. I saw that "lucky table" vacant so I sat there again. Yuri comes by again and instead of taking other vacant tables, she sat on mine and just gave me a smile.

It then becomes a regular thing until a few weeks later when I finally had the courage to ask her out for a date. Well she agrees. It continues until eventually we became a couple. Then the rest will be history.

no yuri again and also unsolicited psych advice in keep reading again (dont read if you're not up for it and dont @ me im not a licensed professional) :D

edit: view post meant keep reading line is erased, so bad internet advice is under the pic instead lol

either way anon if you're up for it I said before that Yuri Writer Land is always hiring :)))) just a bit of fleshing out in the plot and some cleaning up here and there you'd be well on your way to a debut fic!

thats no doubt a nice thought to have anon, tho reading through it I kinda get the feeling that you want a friend kinda relationship with predictability and care more than a romantic one in which case you dont really need someone you'd be potentially sexually interested in, yeah?

in any case like you said taking a step back from yuri content just to get things under control might be a good move for you, even if it does mean spending time away from me and my ramblings on here ://// best of luck anon!

[ciaossu-imagines]

hiiiii im just wondering when your commissions will be open again? sorry if you already answered this!

Hello there 😊 No need to be sorry at all, my dear, even if a question has been asked, I don’t mind answering it again, in most cases! As far as when commissions will reopen, the short answer is not as soon as I’d like. In all honesty, worst case scenario, it won’t be until September. I mean, I will be honest and say that I hope it will be earlier, but that’s probably the best line to go by, unless I desperately need money before then.

The longer answer requires parting the curtain just a little bit. I always try to be really transparent with all you lovely readers about my writing process, about my projects and the things I have on the go, so I don’t really mind doing so here. In good news, I’ve finished both commissions I had owing this weekend, on my days off. Now that those are done, I’m moving on to my do-to list for writing, which is as below. I'm not rushing or overloading myself on the below - I expect a lot from myself, but I am realizing I need some rest and relaxation (or at least time to eat and sleep every day) as well.

I’m working on writing a long-fic that I’m really excited about. It’s a self-ship fic, yeah, but it’s also letting me work with some friend’s really amazing OC’s or self-inserts and it’s been something I’ve been really wanting to get the chance to seriously work on. I’ve been working on it, writing little scenes from it here and there, so now it’s having the fun of doing it from the beginning and stringing everything together. So, I’m treating it like a commission and making it my focus – however, full transparency, I work 50 hours this upcoming week and the large majority of it is in the pharmacy, where we’re not allowed to sit at all during our shifts (because it might make the customers think we’re lazy) so there’s very, very little chance I’ll be able to finish the fic this week due to exhaustion and pain. I’m aiming for having it done within the next two weeks though, ideally, because it really is something I’m just that excited about writing.

Once I’m done with that fic, I’m taking about a week to reply to dm’s and email’s from friends and to send the fic to get approval for posting from the friend's featured in it. It takes about that long because I do write novels in reply to people I love talking to, sorry about that to all those lovelies who talk to me. I’d also, during this time, like to try making a Discord account and start trying to beat some of my shyness and get into fandom spaces to meet and talk to people, make fandom even more enjoyable for me 😊

After that, I’m concentrating really hard on getting the rest of my queue built on the blog, a mixture of one-shots, drabbles, headcanons, and such. I’d like to have at least 100 posts ready, that way I can post twice a day for 50 days, which buys me lots of free time, without any worries about the blog, to work on the things below. Headcanon posts don’t take a real long time to write, at most half an hour to an hour for the most intricate, drabbles at most two hours, so I can get a queue built pretty quickly thankfully, with the one-shots being the things that take me the longest. As teased in the previous post, I’ll also be giving you guys rewritten, updated one-shots from a years old smut collection in that queue.

Once that is done, because it was largely agreed upon that many potential commissioners would feel a lot better about commissioning if I had examples of what they could get, I would like to write examples of each type of commission I accept - I had played around with the idea of using some of the commissions already finished, but to be honest, I don't feel good about everyone being able to have access to something someone paid to have, all their own. However, this also does take some time and to ensure they’re all the same quality I give to people who actually do commission, I want to not rush them.

When that is done, I want to focus on the Patreon I keep saying is coming. My plans are that, for the people buying in on tiers to support my work, I’ll be posting one long one-shot story a month. I have some fun ideas for potential other Patreon perks, because I want at least two perks for the Patreons. So my time will be spent getting at least three months ready for that.

Once that is done, I’ll restock the queue and reopen commissions! And by that time, I'll be approaching the slow season, more than likely so I'll be better able to keep to deadlines and stay up with the multiple things on the go.

[thebluesideofmyworld]

A Good Guy - A Solangelo One-Shot

Summary: Will might be a lot of things. And among those things, Will would dare to say that he’s a good guy. But when it came to Nico di Angelo, would he ever be good enough, though?

Word count: 3900 words || Rating: Teenage and Up Audiences || Read on AO3

Notes:

1. Based on the song "good guys" by LANY 2. My contribution for @after-everything-pjo-zine project. Check out other fics (each fic is accompanied by great fanart so you just HAVE to check it out) in the zine here.

***

Will might be a lot of things. And among those things, Will would dare to say that he’s a good guy. And he would proudly say that it’s because his family raised him to be one. His Mama made sure that he never forgot to say please, sorry and thank you, and his grandma taught him to respect people. Even though Apollo wasn’t around to be an ideal father as Will was growing up in Tennessee, his grandpa showed him how to be a Southern gentleman.

So yeah, he might come across as a young man who with a sassy attitude. But heck, Will knew that he was a good guy. And he’s proud of that.

But here’s the thing. Here’s a thing about being a good guy. Being a good guy might sound like it’s a good thing to do. But being a good guy also sometimes meant that you’re almost as invisible as a wallflower. Because even though you’re good, there were always be better guys. And one thing that Will learned about being a good guy? Good guys never win.

***

“It’s been almost two weeks, you know,” Will said as he kept his eyes at the monthly medical report that he (pretended) to be reading.

“Two weeks since what?” Kayla asked, but didn't bother to pretend that she's actually interested.

“Since Nico went for that quest, remember? Something about Persephone’s parrot or something?” Will said, still trying to keep his eyes at the notes. Because he knew that Kayla might still see the worry in Will’s eyes. (Sometimes it’s almost scary, how his siblings knew him too well).

“Oh? Really? Has it been two weeks yet?”

“Almost,” Will said, decided to leave the detail that it’s actually has been 11 days and since Nico had left the camp early in the morning and now it was almost dinner, it’s been almost twelve freaking days since Nico left the camp for that stupid quest.

“I mean, of course, it might be nothing but well, I thought it was supposed to be a short, simple quest?” Will continued. “Usually if it’s just this small quest, it never took him this long before. Usually it would just be like, three days, five, at the most, and like, a week if he took a detour to impulsively do something unnecessary, but never this long.”

Will lifted his head and turned to look at Kayla, who didn’t seem to share the same worry as Will. Her eyes were still fixed on the glossy pictures of the magazine that she was looking at. A non-committal hum coming from her was the only sign that she was (kind of) listening.

Will tried to focus on the lines of writing in front of him, but the letters were all jumbled and he couldn’t make himself try to read anything. His mind was too busy thinking about different reasons and scenarios of why Nico wasn’t back yet from the quest.

“Do you think I should ask Chiron about it? Probably he’s heard from Nico, y’know. Like, maybe something came up and I don’t know, maybe Chiron knew or maybe even Rachel got a vision or something, or-“

“Or you could have just contacted me, Solace. Pretty sure that it doesn't hurt to try IM me”

Will stood up and spun to face the direction where the voice was coming from. He did it so fast, he got dizzy because of it. It took him two seconds before his eyes could fully focus on Nico di Angelo, who was staring at him. His face looked nonchalant, but his eyes glinted with amusement.

“Uh, hey,” Will greeted, gripping the desk as he suddenly needed to get a hold of himself. “You’re back.”

Nico gave him a single nod, brushing away some strands of hair from covering his eyes. “Yep. I just got back.” He shrugged his shoulders before continuing. “Thought I’d drop by here before I report to Chiron.”

Will tightened his grip on the desk, trying his best to hold himself from closing the distance between him and Nico just to pull Nico into his arms.

“And uh… What brings you here?”

The emotional part of him wished that he was the reason why Nico came straight to the infirmary after the quest. But the rational part of him shushed him. That damned rational part of him told him that hey, it was him who wanted to see Nico, not the other way around.

Nico kept his eyes at Will and there was something in those dark eyes that Will couldn’t really put his fingers on.

“I thought you wanted me to have a check-up every time I got back from a quest?”

Of course.

Will tried to ease the dull pain in his heart by giving Nico a small smile. “Yeah. Of course. Need to make sure that you won’t fade into the shadows again, huh?” Will let out a nervous chuckle. “I mean, I am your doctor, and a doctor only wants the best for his patients.”

This time Nico stayed silent as he nodded. Will gestured to a nearby cot with his chin.

“Now, if you could just sit down over there, please?”

Still saying nothing, Nico strode to the cot and quickly sat there. Will took a deep breath, mentally telling himself to be professional, and let it out in a long exhale. He made his way to where Nico was waiting for him.

The check-up was a regular one. And there was nothing new about how touching Nico made stupid butterflies do some stupid dancing in his stomach. He ached to ask Nico questions about what happened in the quest and why it took so long. He wanted to know whether Nico ever thought of him while he was on the quest the way Will kept on thinking about him while he was away. He wanted to listen to Nico talk to him, with that slight accent that made his voice so melodious, almost like he was singing.

But it would only scare Nico away.

So he kept his eyes at the board where he jotted down the notes about Nico’s vitals.

“So, uhm… This quest was a bit longer than usual, huh?” Will asked, almost proud of himself that his voice sounded normal.

Nico hummed as he put his jacket back on. “Yeah, we had an unexpected encounter with some empousai. Luckily, David is unexpectedly good at fighting.”

At the mention of the name, Will lifted his head up. “David? You mean the new camper? That Athena kid?”

Nico nodded. “Yeah. For someone who never held a sword before, I have to say that I’m impressed.”

A strange, nauseating heat flared inside Will’s stomach. “Really?”

“Yup. In fact, I promised to give him an extra lesson in sword-fighting tomorrow.”

That strange heat swirled even more inside Will. He stretched his lips into a lame attempt to smile at Nico.

“Oh,” Will said. “Nice.”

“In one way, he strangely reminded me of Percy, you know? The way he held his sword.” And Nico continued talking for a while about that stupid new guy. Will listened, humming every now and then just to show Nico that he’s listening.

Half of his mind wished that the harpies would find that David kid to be a nice target for their dinner. The other half of his mind scowled at him for having that kind of evil wish.

“Okay. Everything looks good. Just make sure that you drink enough water,” Will said as he wrote the date and signed his name on the bottom part of the report.

“So I can go now?”

Will nodded. “Yeah, you’re free to go now,” he answered as he walked back to his desk to put the record in the folder.

“And you’re not even offering to walk me back to my Cabin like a good Southern gentleman?”

Will spun on his heel quickly. He stared at Nico with wide eyes, thinking that he might have been hallucinating.

“What?”

Nico snorted and slid down from the cot. “Never mind. I need to report to Chiron first anyway.”

Will blinked, and it took him a full two seconds before he had his voice again.

“Nico-“

But Nico was already one step away from the door. He stopped and looked at Will over his shoulder. The left tip of his lips curled up, just slightly, forming a ghost of a smile. He gave a two-finger salute to Will.

“I’ll see you around, Solace.”

Not waiting for Will to answer him, Nico stepped away. And just like that, he’s out of sight.

Will stared at the open door. There is this hollowness inside his heart that he couldn't explain. Like he just missed a chance.

He always thought that he’s a good guy. Or at least, he’s trying to.

But would he ever be good enough, though?

***

“What are you doing here?”

Lou Ellen’s voice startled Will.

“Me? Uh…” Will scrambled to pick up the book that he just dropped and showed it to Lou, like he was trying to prove something. “I was reading!”

Lou Ellen stared at him with a glint of amusement in her eyes as she gave Will the Look. The ‘don’t-give-me-bullshit’ Look.

“What, am I not allowed to read in peace?” Will said, a bit defensively.

“Hey, it’s cool dude,” Lou said. “In fact, it was nice to see you somewhere else aside from the infirmary,” she added.

Will relaxed a bit, going back to lean his back on the tree.

“I can see why you choose this spot. It’s much quieter than the infirmary on your busy days,” Lou said.

Will hummed.  His eyes flickered to the far left, to the clearing a few yards away, just for a split second before he opened his book.

“And the view from here is also… decent.”

Lou Ellen’s tone made Will quickly look up again at the daughter of Hecate. She’s now grinning at him, like she just figured something out.

“How long have you been spying on those two?” Lou asked, gesturing with her chin to two demigods in the clearing who seemed to just finished sparring.

Will gaped at her. He blinked and quickly shook his head. “What? No! I’ve told you, I was reading here!”

But Lou Ellen didn’t seem to care about Will’s reaction as she waved at the demigods in the clearing.

“Hey, Nico! David!”

Will’s eyes widened in horror this time as he turned his head around, only to see that Nico and the new Athena kid walked towards them.

“Lou!” he hissed in annoyance.

Lou Ellen just gave him a teasing smirk. “What?”

Will groaned and quickly stood up, his book abandoned on the grass as he unconsciously ran a hand over his wild locks.

“Hey,” Nico greeted. “What’s up?”

Nothing’s up aside from his heartbeat, Will would like to answer. But of course, he kept it to himself as he tried his best to school his face into a relaxed, nonchalant, I’m-just-chilling-here expression.

“Nothing much,” Lou Ellen shrugged her shoulders. “You two are sparring together here? Why? Is the arena too mainstream for you?”

The new Athena kid gave a half-smile as he brushed off some hair from covering his eyes. “It was my request, actually,” he said. “I just want to have a...” he waved his right in a vague circular motion, like trying to find the exact word to say. “A more… realistic view when fighting a monster?”

That didn’t really make sense to Will. But it seemed to be an acceptable reason for Lou Ellen as she nodded at him.

“And has Nico been a good teacher for you?” Lou Ellen asked.

Will didn’t miss the way Lou gave him a quick glance.

David’s half-smile turned into a full one. “He is!” He turned his head to Nico and smiled at him, like he was pleased at Nico. “Thanks for teaching me, Nico. You are very good at sword-fighting.”

Nico returned David’s smile with one of his small smiles. A smile that could have filled Will’s chest with warm air. But since he’s not at the receiving end of that smile, it turned Will’s chest into lead instead.

“Anytime. It was a pleasure.”

“You will teach me more, yes? And ah… We also need to talk more. About football.”

This was the first time for Will to really listen to David talking, and he couldn’t help but notice how David’s voice had quite an accent. Especially when he pronounced football, the way he stretched some syllables.

Nico’s face lit up. “Yeah! We should! I know that Cecil played football! Right?” His eyes darted from Will to Lou Ellen, like asking for confirmation.

“Cecil? He does. I can take you to talk to him. Come on,” Lou Ellen quickly pulled the sleeve of David’s shirt and led him away from the other two demigods.

Will watched the backs of Lou Ellen and David who were walking away from them. He could feel nervousness starting to creep in on him as their voices slowly faded away, as he realized that he’s now alone with Nico.

Not that he hated to be with Nico. It’s just… this wasn’t his plan. He wasn’t prepared. And Will hated it when things didn’t go as he planned. He hated it when he was unprepared.

“David played football,” Nico said just when David and Lou Ellen disappeared from their sight.

Will angled his neck to look at Nico. “And when you said football, did you mean soccer?”

“I mean football,” Nico answered, turning on his heels a little so now he was facing Will. “The real football.”

Will snorted and slid down to sit on the grass. “They’re the same,” he said, leaning his back on the tree.

Nico followed Will, sitting on the grass. “It will always be football for me,” he said. There was a melancholic tone lacing his voice. And it made Will wonder, maybe it’s something that Nico used to play. In the streets in Venice, when he was just a kid who had no idea that Greek gods and goddesses were real.

“We, David and I, we were talking about playing here. I mean, it would be great, you know? David said he played midfield. I’m usually,” Nico paused, but quickly continued. “I mean, I used to play as a striker. If we can connect well, that would be really cool.”

Will closed his eyes while his stomach churned with a strange, unpleasant feeling. So, not only was this David kid good in sword-fighting, he’s good in soccer too?

“Do you play too? I mean, you can be the goal keeper. I guess you would be great. I mean, you’re tall and it would be a great asset for a goalkeeper.”

Will huffed. Stuck between the goalposts while watching Nico and David scoring goals? Yeah. No, thank you.

“We’ll see about that,” Will said, still with his eyes closed.

For a while, none of them said anything. Will opened his eyes when he heard Nico sighed. He turned his head, watching Nico stand up. Nico brushed his pants, and gave Will a small smile.

“I’ll see you around, Solace.”

Will wondered why that smile looked a bit strained, but returned it anyway. “Yeah. I’ll see you around.”

He watched as Nico walked away.

Someone would be a good guy for Nico, he thought. And even though Will was a good guy, maybe he just wasn’t good enough. So of course, someone would be a good guy for Nico. Someone else. Not Will.

***

Will didn’t even know why he was here, standing awkwardly near the table where the food and drinks were.

Oh, yes. Because Cecil and Lou Ellen practically dragged him here, to this stupid Halloween party organized by the Aphrodite Cabin.

It’s not that Will disliked Halloween. And it wasn’t like he hated Halloween parties either. What he didn’t like, was seeing Nico talking with David at the other corner of the room. Just looking at the sight made a strange, nauseating fire flame inside of him.

“Pining over di Angelo again?” Lou Ellen nudged him on his shoulder.

“Yeah. How long are you going to act like this Will? Playing it cool while we all know how you wish you’re the one talking to di Angelo instead of David?” Cecil joined Lou Ellen in interrogating Will.

Will only rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what you guys are talking about,” he mumbled, and took another sip of Coke from his cup. He tried to watch the campers who were dancing in the middle of the floor. Some kids from the Hermes cabin somehow got a hold of speakers. And of course, with a little help from the Hephaestus kids, the party had a cool sound system that was now playing pop music.

Lou Ellen sighed. Will stole another glance at where Nico was standing. David was leaning a little to whisper something at Nico. The proximity between those two made it a little bit harder for Will to breathe. He wondered what it was that David was telling Nico. But then Nico turned his head to Will. And no matter how cliché it might sound, Will’s heart skipped a beat when their eyes met. Will quickly looked down to the floor.

Next to him, Lou Ellen clicked her tongue.

“You know what? I can’t take this anymore. It’s been MONTHS. This has got to end tonight,” she said. Ignoring Will’s protest, she grabbed Will’s wrist and pulled him along with her, walking towards Nico and David.

A few seconds later, Will was standing with a flustered face in front of Nico and David.

“Hey, Nico, David! You guys enjoying the party?”

David gave that half-smile again. “Ah, yes. The party is nice.” He angled his neck just a bit so now he was looking right at Will. The half-smile subtly transformed into a knowing smirk. “And you? You… You are the healer, yes? Will?”

Will forced himself to smile politely at David. “Yeah. That’s me.”

David gave a single nod. “Nico talked a lot about you. A lot of good things.”

Will blinked. His eyes darted to Nico, but the raven-haired boy looked away from him. Still, his cheeks were a dark shade of red.

“Is that Cecil over there? I think I want to talk to him,” David suddenly said as he pointed at Cecil with his chin. “Lou Ellen? Come with me?”

Lou Ellen grinned as she nodded and made a 90-degree turn on her heels. “Yeah, come on, David. Let's leave these two idiots.”

And just like that, they left Will again, standing awkwardly less than two feet away from Nico.

“Uh… I didn’t expect to see you here,” Will said.

Nico turned his head at Will, an eyebrow slightly raised up. “Oh? I thought you were the one saying that I need to work on my social skill.”

Will gave Nico a small smile. “Yeah. So. Good to see you here, then. I mean, for your social skills and all.”

Nico stared at Will. And there was just something behind those dark eyes. Something that Will couldn’t put into words. Something that made him unable to look away.

“Aren’t you going to ask me to dance, Solace?”

The question got Will off-guard. Of all the questions in the world, it’s probably the most unexpected one.

“Huh?”

Nico held his eyes at Will’s for another second, but then he looked away. “Never mind,” he said, half-mumbling. His cheeks blushed again into dark cherry color.

“But… do you want to, though?”

Nico’s head turned back to Will. “Want to do what?”

“Dance? Do you…want to?”

Nico bit his lower lip and he looked down for a second. When he looked up back at Will, his charcoal eyes were soft.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“On who’s asking me to.”

Will’s heart started to jump around in his chest.

“What if it’s me asking you?”

The eyes that were staring back at him were now smiling.

“Then I guess, it depends on the song, then.”

Will’s heart was probably doing some crazy somersaults right now, but his lips curled up without him even thinking about it.

“Well, it’s my favorite song that they’re playing right now. I hope it suits you?” he asked, carefully offering his hand.

Nico’s smile was as soft as the look in his eyes. And the moment their fingertips touched, Will’s heart soared high and suddenly his chest was filled with warm, light air.

As Will led Nico to the floor, he thought about how long he has been wanting to do this, to hold Nico’s hand in his.

They swayed along with the music. Nico’s left hand felt perfect in his right hand. Will’s left hand rested on Nico’s hip and Will couldn’t care less about the other people dancing around them.

“Your dancing is better than your singing,” Nico said, a playful smile on his lips.

Will chuckled. “My grandma said a real Southern gentleman must know how to dance. And I remember my Mama dancing with me when I was a kid.”

“Your Mam raised you well, I have to say.”

Will hummed. “I’m a good mama’s boy, I can promise you that.”

“I can see that, Will. Everyone can see that.”

“See what?”

“That you’re a good guy.”

This time Will held his eyes at Nico. “I try to be,” he said. “But… Would I ever be good enough for you?”

Nico huffed. “And you said I was the dense one.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Nico stopped, but his feet kept on moving. He sighed. “Gods, do I really have to spell it out to you?” He asked, sounding exasperated as he looked away from Will.

Hope bloomed inside of Will and he grinned and oh, how he wanted to shout and laugh. He took his hand off Nico’s hip so he could gently cup Nico’s cheek, guiding him to face him back.

“Do you mean you like me?” Will asked.

“Well, do you like me?”

Will chuckled and he could feel a stupid smile creeping in. “Why do you even have to ask?”

Nico shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Because you’re nice to me but you’re also nice to everyone? Because you don’t seem to care even if I talk about someone else? Because you…” Nico stopped again and shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe because I just…don’t know?”

Will squeezed Nico’s hand just a bit tighter. “I was just… I was just afraid that I’m not good enough for you.”

Nico rolled his eyes. But his lips twitched, like he tried to hold back a smile.

“You’re a good guy, Will. You’re a good guy to everyone. But sometimes I hope that you can be my good guy.”

It’s like a thousand birds were singing inside of Will now as he felt like he was floating in this bubble of happiness.

“Then I’ll be yours, Death Boy.”

Will wrapped his arms around Nico, and pulled him into his embrace.

“I’ll be your good guy, then. I’ll be your everything.”

Nico pulled himself a little away from Will. He looked up at Will and the light in his eyes was like the most beautiful star in a dark night.

“Everything?”

“Everything. Anything you need.”

***

Additional Author's Notes: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it :). Reblogs, replies or any other feedbacks are much appreciated. Also please don't forget to check out the zine!!!

[mango-bango-bby]

HIIIIII!!!!!!!! i hope you’re having a beautiful day i love ur writing<333333

I want to ask for Kirishima where the reader sees him for the first time in like his quirk form and she gets scared, then he gets like insecure so she starts to feel bad and tries to comfort him and it ends and cuddles and cute stuff.

love you byeee

♡ Overthinking ♡

(A/N: SO UM LIKE THIS ISNT EXACTLY WHAT YOU ASKED FOR SO I HOPE THATS OK IF ITS NOT IM REALLY SORRY)

Summary: You see Eijiro’s quirk and him fight for the first time on TV, this leads you to overthinking (Yan!Kirishima x GN!Reader)

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You should probably be scared of your captor. However you couldn’t find it in you to be scared of him. Eijiro was so kind and sweet to you, often acting like an excited puppy when he’s with you. Sure, he may look intimidating because he’s tall and muscular, but his behavior was the opposite of intimidating.

Well, you didn’t think he could be intimidating up until today. He was gone, doing hero patrol. But this time while you were home, he let you have the remote to the TV as a reward for being so good for him. You switched through the channels, until you briefly saw Eijiro on the news. Not unusual considering he was a hero, but you still wanted to see him.

You switch back to the channel from before. It was a channel covering a the fight between Eijiro and some powerful villain, the buildings in the background destroyed by this said villain. Yes, you knew Eijiro was a hero, however you had never seen him actually fight or actually be in action. You watch as the camera pans into the actual fight. He looked so... scary. His entire body was rigid, his sharp teeth that were normally endearing now were terrifying.

You’re not exactly sure why this side of him scared this so much. Clearly it was just his quirk but yet you realized he could do this anytime. He could be just as strong as he was there anytime. However he decided to be kind to you. Eijiro just chose not to be that way with you. Meanwhile it was so clear that he could hurt you, badly, at any time. You’re not exactly sure why he seemed so intimidating now, many ‘what-if’ scenarios run through your mind.

You sit on the couch, ideally flipping through channels until the front door opens. “Hey, cupcake!” Eijiro cheers, rushing to the couch to pick you up into a hug. He usually does this after work, just wanting physical affection in someway. “Hey” he whines, feeling you flinch slightly when he touches you, something he thought you had gotten over.

“What’s wrong, sugar?” Eijiro asks, easily lifting you up into his arms, putting your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. You think for a moment while looking at his concerned face. “I-It’s nothing” you mumble “Just overthinking” you continue, getting a relieved sigh from the red head. “Overthinking again, cupcake? Is it about how you got here?” He asks, sitting down on the couch, yet he keeps you in his arms so when he sits on the couch you’re in his lap.

“Kinda” you mutter, Eijiro cupping your face. He looks at you enforce smiling slightly. “Pebble, it’s ok. I know the way you and I got together was less than traditional but that doesn’t mean anything” by ‘less than traditional’ he means kidnapping you and keeping you hostage but you guess in his mind they’re the same thing.

“It’s not that” you mutter, fiddling with your fingers. Then it clicks in Eijiro’s head. One of the biggest problems of having you here was trying to help you get over you fear of him.

“Cupcake, look at me. You know that I would never hurt you. You’re the most precious thing in the world to me! That’s why I keep you here, to keep you safe. I’ll never ever let anything or anyone hurt you”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Thank you for reading, darling!!

[bedtimebrain]

EXO D.O.: A Little Jealous Part 2! (Your POV)

This part 2 took me really long to get it out. I had initially written it in both Ksoo and Your ‘pov’ in one post. But it got too long! So i decided to change it to just your POV(the norm). I still haven’t decided if i should finish the one on Ksoo’s POV.

Edit: I continued Ksoo’s for fun without the intention to finish it, but I think it turned out pretty decent! So His POV’s part is also up now!!

Part 1 Part 2 Ksoo POV Characters: DKS x reader (+exo & random chr)

————-

Back at the team dinner

At the center of the circle, the bottle spun to minho.

‘Truth or dare!’

‘Truth’

‘Ok so, the team has been really curious. WHEN DID YOU AND Y/N STARTED DATING?!’ Ji Hye asked like she has been holding this in for 10 years.

The both of you were a little taken aback at the question, looking over at each other with a laugh.

‘We are just friends, what gave you that impression? We never dated and will never date guys’ Minho answered

‘No way! You guys definitely look like a couple!’

‘Comeon say the truth y/n! You guys are always hanging out together, i even saw you carrying y/n’s bag for you today’

‘yes yes! Weren’t you both holding hands that day?’

Everyone chimed in disbelief.

‘Didn’t know we appeared this way to you guys. Anyway I was just holding y/n hand to shake off this guy who has been bothering her. And I was just helping Y/N with her bag because she looked like she might die anytime just now’

While everyone was sighing and expressing their disappointment, minho made the next spin. You rolled your eyes at minho when it pointed to you.

You picked dare, wanting to divert the team’s attention to something else instead.

‘Ok then, pick from the dare box.’ You reached your hand into it and pulled out a purple strip.

‘Take a selfie with the person from the previous turn and upload to instagram with the caption ‘a cute us’

You almost had a heart attack reading that, this just fueled everyone’s enthusiasm even more.

Although you knew that kyungsoo probably won’t see this since he doesn’t have instagram, you can’t help but feel guilty and worried about it. You’re attached! (Though you can’t say it) and doing this just doesn’t seem right..

There’s absolutely no way you could get out of this. Denying doing this just makes things seem more suspicious between the both of you. 

Making it fast ,you did the dare and uploaded the picture. Totally forgetting the fact that other members followed you with their privates. You told yourself in 10minutes you’re getting out of here and deleting that photo.

-----

As usual, minho sent you back. After such a long day you can’t wait to just take a shower and flop down on your bed.

Heading to the shower, you screamed at the sight of a bug.

Running to your phone you sent a SOS to minho,

‘THERE’S A BUG PLEASE COME BACK AND SAVE ME I DONT CARE WHERE YOU ARE’

Just 2 minutes later the bell rang. That was certainly a little fast, you thought to yourself.

Running to the door, you shouted ‘MINHO YA!’ Opening the door, you were surprised to see kyungsoo’s face instead. 

'Oppa, why you here ? Did your photoshoot end early? You didn’t text me back tho...’

‘Uh are you expecting someone? Minho?’

‘Oh right, speaking of which I dont need him now, let me drop him a text. Oppa come in and kill the bug for me please!!’ You dragged him right to your shower and stayed far away while he rid the bug for you.

After the bug extermination, you can’t help but sense something’s not too right with kyungsoo tonight.

Hoping to loosen his seemingly tense frame, you reached out to hug him

‘Thank you, for killing the bug’ at the same time flashing him your sweetest smile.

Sitting down and linking your arms in his on the sofa, you asked,

‘Oppa, do you have something to tell me? You don’t look particularly excited or happy to be here today’

Kyungsoo looked to you, and for a good while, did not say anything. Instead, breaking the body contact, he reached for the glass of water on the coffee table; gulping it down as if it was his courage portion.

‘I saw that picture. The one on instagram.’ 

Your heart stopped, a wave of guilt washed over you as you started to explain yourself

‘Ah that.. sorry oppa, it was a dare I had to do at the team dinner, I tried so hard to avoid it but I couldn’t say I was attached either.. ’

‘But the string of comments sure made it sound like you guys are the most popular ship in your school?’ Kyungsoo replied with distaste lacing his voice

It dawned on you that you had never shown minho’s picture to kyungsoo, perhaps that’s why he was so upset about this. He must have thought the guy in the picture was someone special to you that you never mentioned.

‘Oppa that’s actually Minho in the picture. And you know we are just really close friends.’

At this Kyungsoo looked a little stunned. You could tell he was in the midst of processing his thoughts as a frown started to form on his forehead.

‘I don’t really like you hanging out with minho.’ Kyungsoo blurted out 

Now, you didn’t really understand the situation. What’s with kyungsoo acting like a possessive boyfriend? 

‘You were always okay with minho and i hanging out. Why does us taking a picture change that ?’ You were a little irritated, you stood up and started raising your voice.

Seeing that you absolutely lost your cool, kyungsoo didn’t hold back either

‘y/n do you know how i felt looking at those comments?! I am not okay with the whole school thinking you both are together when you’re supposed to be my girlfriend!’, he got up from the sofa in frustration

‘Ya! Even if i am not friends with minho, I can’t always avoid such situations! Because i can’t tell anyone i’m attached, guys still hit on me and people think they can pair me up with random guys because they think i’m single! 

To me, they can think whatever they want but minho is just a friend. Oppa, shouldn’t you of all people understand this the most?’

‘You’re asking me to understand when minho actually looks your ideal type? And i never knew about it?’

You were caught off guard at this question. Your ideal type? Tall, well built, sporty , fun... Suddenly realising minho does fit the bill for your ideal type.

Though feeling a little bad now, you were not going to give in to this ridiculous argument. Your friendship with minho was on the line. 

‘My ideal type? If we wanted to get together, we would have long ago ok! Why would I get together with you then him?!’

You both stayed silent for a little while, turning your backs on each other at the peak of the argument. 

Calming down, you told yourself this could go on and on tonight, or you could just take a softer approach towards your boyfriend.

Out of love, you put aside your frustration and hugged him instead. Leaning into his chest, you didn’t know exactly what to say either. 

Dropping to his low voice, kyungsoo muttered ‘When I saw that picture, it felt like my nightmare came true. Every night i get worried that you would one day get tired of dating an idol.. Or even dating someone like me..’ 

You never knew kyungsoo felt this way, he was never particularly expressive in the relationship. You knew he liked you and genuinely cared for you, but you never knew he loved you this much. 

‘we don’t spend alot of time together but you always get to be with minho.. so much that people think you’re both attached..’

At this point, you saw through him. You came to understand the picture triggered his insecurities and manifested as jealousy. 

You pulled him back down on the sofa and started 

‘oppa, i cannot promise you people will stop misunderstanding minho and i, but i will be more careful to draw a clearer line in our friendship for you. 

and i never thought of minho as my ideal type or saw him in a way more than friends. i know it might not put you at ease hearing me say this, but can you trust me? 

I have been friends with minho for many years and have met many guys too. But it’s you for me ok?’ you held onto his arm and looked in his eyes saying this, hoping he sees what you feel for him.

Poking him at his little belly, you continued light heartedly

‘though you may not be the most attractive looking man out there...’ causing him to look up at you as you say it.

Giving him a peck on the cheek you continued

‘but you make me feel comfortable and special all at the same time. saranghae oppa, you’re the only one.’

At your words, he pulled you closer and rested his chin on your head, saying

‘ Though i still don’t feel the best about our situation and about minho, but i know we can’t help this.. Just promise to stay with me please’

Raising your pinky finger and turning up to face him,

‘ i promise you oppa!’

Linking your pinkies together, kyungsoo finally smiled back at you today and said

‘na do saranghae’ didn’t really turn out the way i thought it would for a jealousy story, haha. but still hope you enjoyed it!

on a side note, im thinking of doing this scenario for baekhyun too! i think his might be much easier to imagine, hahha. if you’re a baek fan please don’t expect too much tho! it won’t be as long as ksoo’s if i actually do it~

[muwur]

idk if this counts as an emergency or comfort request but ive been havin a REAL bad body image week nsnnnsnnnsnn could i maybe request headcanons for either oikawa or kuroo (u can pick if u wanna) with an s/o who is rlly self conscious about being chubby/has a really hard time with food and mayb feels like worthless because theyre not the ideal body type? idk sorry if thats dumb aaaah thank u sm if u choose to do this

self-love

♡ scenarios ♡ for oikawa and kuroo

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.7k words

a/n: hey hun, im sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time lately. this kind of request actually rlly hits close to home, and if u ever need anything, ur mor than welcome to reach out to me :) i can also help look for resources for help, anything really. this goes for all y’all! i dont want none y’all to feel alone with anything ur going thru cuz we’re in this together! and no need to thank me, the pleasure is mine luv 🥰💕 nothing about this is dumb, ur feelings are valid. i hope this will bring you n many others some comfort. also,, FUCK BODY STANDARDS MAKIN US BELIEVE THERE’S AN IDEAL TYPE BC THERE IS NONE N Y’ALL R BEAUTIFUL N IF U DUN THINK SO I WILL COME OVER DER,,, ok im done 🥰🥰 (more notes at the bottom of this, i talk a lot n think its important, didnt wanna add it up here bc it was too long lolol) tw: mentions of bad body and implies disordered eating behaviors

 oikawa

♡ Oikawa was pretty keen, so when he observed a gradual shift in your behavior, he definitely took notice

♡ One day when you showed up to lunchtime empty-handed and sat with your two friends, casually chatting, Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave you a questioning look

♡ “Where’s your lunch, y/n?” Oikawa asked

♡ “Oh, I, uh, ate it already, actually.”

♡ Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow and offered you some of his, but you declined, thanking him and stating you were already full

♡ Later that day in class, however, Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the absence of your boxed lunch container in your unzipped backpack

♡ The next day, you came empty-handed again, blaming it on your forgetfulness during your rush to get to school

♡ However, it became a normal occurrence over time, and while you seemed fine, uneasiness began to prick inside Oikawa’s stomach

♡ Those smiles you wore appeared fragile, and the laughter that rumbled from your throat felt restrained

♡ You seemed more tired and unfocused than usual

♡ Preoccupied, withdrawn, and distant

♡ He could sense something was bothering you, no matter how much you may (or may not) have tried to hide it

♡ On his way to school one morning, he made sure to stop by a convenience store to pick one of your favorite snacks, thinking it was a simple gesture to brighten up the somber aura he’s been detecting from you

♡ “I have a surprise for you, y/n~” Oikawa announced with excitement, rummaging through his bag to pull out the snack and show it to you. “Look, it’s your favorite!”

♡ You could only offer him an uneasy smile, “Oh, you shouldn’t have...” You really shouldn’t have...

♡ When he noticed the tension in your body and expression, a frown appeared on his lips

♡ “Y/n? Is something wrong?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder but you swiftly flinched away

♡ ”I’m fine..!”

♡ Surprised at your sudden movement and outburst, you both felt a split second of apprehension crackle in the air before you started to gather your items in a rush

♡ Sighing, you repeated, “I’m fine.”

♡ He wasn’t sure whether you were speaking to him or yourself

♡ “Thanks for the snack, but I’ll pass. Have it for me. You need it more, anyways; you have volleyball practice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Oikawa,” you offered him a solemn smile and left before he could even reply

♡ Some time had passed before he could finally get you to open up to him

♡ And when you did, it crushed his heart to see how much your insecurities broke you

♡ It hurt to hear how low you thought about yourself; how you couldn’t see the beauty in your being; how you deemed food, your body, and yourself as your worst enemies

♡ Thus bringing you to the conclusion that maybe you’d be happy and like yourself if you could just give up that midday snack or your school lunch

♡ Even raincheck a cafe date you were supposed to have together

♡ Maybe also skip dinner, sometimes breakfast the next morning as well

♡ You could manage on just water

♡ Little sacrifices to shed some weight, feel better, and get closer to your ideal body goals

♡ You admitted, however, to questioning whether any of it was worth it

♡ The constant states of hunger, pain, and defeat you lived in

♡ Only to feel as though you were getting nowhere

♡ Oikawa was well aware of today’s beauty standards. I mean, he himself was often praised for his natural charm and beauty

♡ And you felt you could never reach that ideal

♡ “Oikawa, you’re too good for me.”

♡ His eyebrows knitted in concern as he lifted his right hand to caress your cheek softly. “And why do you say that?”

♡ Tears threatened to prick at your eyes. All you could was stare at the ground in silent shame

♡ When you still said nothing, he leaned in closer, his brown gaze softly pleading

♡ “Y/n, look at me.”

♡ When your eyes flickered up to meet his own, Oikawa asked, “You know I love you, right?”

♡ His question was met with a meek, “Yes.”

♡ From your clouded glaze, he could tell that you had a hard time believing in your own response

♡  “Do you know why?”

♡ But before you could respond, he was already answering his own question

♡ “Well...” he began, glancing up in thought and wearing a small smile

♡ “Something about you makes me want to be by your side. I love to see your smiles and hear your laughter, but I always want to be there to hold you when you’re crying and in pain.”

♡ “You’re supportive. You understand what I need, and I don’t always have to explain myself to you. You take your time with me and make me feel like I can be myself. Not many people have stuck around to actually get to know me. Because of that, you’ve never failed to make my day a little better with just your presence.”

♡ “You’re strong and caring. I can rely on you to have my back, and I hope I provide that same comfort to you as well.”

♡ “I love being able to lazy around with you or go on adventures and discover something new. It’s comfortable and exciting at the same time.”

♡ “Your hands feel like they were made to hold mine.”

♡ He reached down to squeeze your hand gently

♡ “Kissing you makes me forget about everything else on my mind. I can just live in the present with you.”

♡ He moved close and gave you a peck above your eyebrow

♡ “You make me want to work hard and be a better person. You help motivate me to try my best, and you never give up on me. Why would I ever give up on you?”

♡  “I learn something new with you everyday. Like right now, I realize that I’ve never met someone who could so easily make my heart race as they could make my heart break.”

♡ “When I look at you, all I can think about is how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you in my life as a partner and one of my best friends. Nobody else could fill the gaps within me the same way you do.”

♡ Leaning over to brush his lips against your forehead, he muttered, “I’m going to love every part of you, inside and out. You’re already my ideal. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I could go on about every detail on why I feel so strongly for you, but I’m here to show you everything there is to appreciate about yourself because you’re worth every ounce of care and effort. And if you can’t see it in yourself right now, I’ll love you more than enough for the both of us until you learn to love yourself. I’m here to help.”

♡ And after crying out your tears into his shoulder as he held you close and rubbed your back, you both went to his house to relax and have some dinner

♡ He was patient with you, taking into account how having a meal may have made you feel anxious

♡ It was something small and simple that you two agreed to prepare and share, after some tender coaxing from Oikawa

♡ He later made a list in his journal about tips to keep in mind:

♡ ‘Check up on y/n often to see how they’re feeling’

♡ ‘Encourage them to eat meals/snacks. Don’t be too pushy, but be patient. Try to have eat with them when you can!’

♡ ‘Remind them they don’t have to earn the right to eat, and that their body doesn’t define their worth‘

♡ ‘Look into some mindfulness techniques!’

♡ ‘Don’t overvalue physical appearance. Also focus on all the other redeeming qualities y/n has! But of course I’m always gonna tell them they look cutee--’

♡ True to his word, he remained understanding

♡ He’s there to listen to you, or to sit with you in comforting silence

♡ During lunch he would share his food with you, reassuring you that it wasn’t something you had to avoid

♡ Some days he succeeds in encouraging you to share a milk bun or your favorite snack with him

♡ And on days you really didn’t feel like it, he never forces anything onto you and instead made sure you at least hydrated

♡ Oikawa spends some time doing research and gathering tips on how to help you

♡ Always reminds you of your worth and how you bring out the best in him

♡ He’ll never hold it against you if you ever become hostile, irritated, or in denial. He knows you’re hurting and doesn’t take it personally

♡ Sends you cute memes with all those emoji hearts

♡ Also some food puns (Oikawa: “I’m soy into you. Please brie mine. We are mint to be. I ap-peach-iate you. You got a pizza my heart. Olive you--” ; You: *puts a hand over his mouth* ; Oikawa: 🥺 ; You: “...olive you, too”)

♡ Always ready to give up what he’s doing to make sure you’re okay

♡ Will stay up with you late at night to talk on the phone

♡ Reminds you you’re beautiful at least 8 times a day

♡ If y’all ever go shopping and you try things on in the fitting room,, Oikawa would be your #1 hype man

♡ One time you tried something on, and you were almost too ashamed to step out and show him

♡ But when you did, you were met with his surprise and excitement

♡ “dfghjklkuyfuh” was all you could process from his incoherent speech before he insisted on treating you by purchasing it for you (Oikawa: “Can you wear this for me, like, everyday?” ; You: *weird look* “Why are you like this??” you love it tho--)

♡ Gushes internally over how cute you are during your movie + cuddle sessions, mostly pays attention to you rather than the movie

♡ Mid-movie be like:

♡ Oikawa: “So, uh, what’s happening again?

♡ You: -.- “You might as well google the whole synopsis instead of watching it”

♡ Oikawa: “...it’s not my fault you’re distracting, babe”

♡ Always politely excuses himself from his fangirls to get to you. Also reassures you he much prefers to be with you than anyone else and that you’re the best catch ;)) (You: “Oikawa, no” ; Oikawa: “y/n, yes”)

♡ Suggested doing some meditation together once

♡ You listened to a recording and you sat side by side on a mat, but Oikawa thought the person’s voice sounded funny so he had a hard time focusing

♡ But it ended with y’all laughing and making jokes as he lay his lead on your lap and you played with his hair

♡ Y’all get better at it tho

♡ Cooking dates! To try to show you that food isn’t an enemy and can bring people together :)

♡ Puts music on so y’all can jam together (Oikawa: “Oh my gosh, y/n, this is my favorite song, you’re not even rEADY to see me perform-- ; You: “Oikawa, t-the food! It’s burning!!”)

♡ Cooking dates also show that you should never leave the stove unattended

♡ Every once in a while he suggests seeking professional help. He wishes he could take away your pain and help you all his own, but he knows this is more complicated and required outside help, too

♡ Has help resources READY

♡ As well as small snacks like granola bars for you if you ever feel faint

♡ He doesn’t hesitate to confront you when he feels it’s necessary and he’s worried about your habits

♡ He handles things well, though, and often convinces you to take care of yourself more, even though he’s there to look after you

♡ Has made it his mission to help you win against your battle with insecurities

♡ Overall, he’s very caring and empathetic, hoping one day you’ll see yourself the way he sees you 💖 : strong, amazing, breathtaking, & perfectly imperfect

kuroo

♡ Occasionally, you would think about the day you broke down in front of him

♡ Your body racked with repressed whimpers as you tried to wipe the tears from your eyes and describe the recent state of your mind through choked sobs

♡ Lately, your thoughts were being especially relentless in making you feel miserable

♡ Oftentimes you’d be able to shove the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and carry on your day as usual, expertly acting as though everything in your life was going smoothly

♡ However, you found yourself fighting a losing battle against your own conscious, heavily preoccupied with thoughts of your own worthlessness

♡ And so you tried to cope

♡ But you were painfully aware of everything you felt was wrong with you

♡ You felt uncomfortable in your skin

♡ Every time you passed by your own reflection, you couldn’t help but mentally recoil at the image looking back at you

♡ Your clothes didn’t fit right

♡ Even when you opted for baggy clothes, you felt like you were taking up all the space in them

♡ Maybe it was the weight gain. You could see and feel it in your face, your arms, your stomach, your legs... everywhere

♡ You just wanted to hide away your shame

♡ Perhaps it was the dessert you allowed yourself to eat the other day. Foolish of you to think then that you wouldn’t regret it as much as you did afterwards

♡ As a consequence of those foolish actions, you made mental notes about anything and everything you ate. What it was, how much of it you had, etc

♡ Trying to restrict so that maybe you would lose some weight and come to like how you look

♡ Your obsessive thoughts of food and weight overtook your mind like a dark cloud

♡ Your favorite foods, which before would never fail to brighten your mood, taunted you with shame and guilt

♡ Exercise? Sometimes it was an activity you genuinely enjoyed. Other times, a chore that made you feel shitty or numb and reinforced your unhealthy desire to lose

♡ And you sometimes found yourself crying over your last meal, one you know you didn’t need. One you didn’t deserve

♡ And each time you released the reins on your self-control, you felt pathetic going against the vow you made to yourself  

♡ At this rate, you’d never be beautiful or be happy with yourself

-You’d remain unworthy, fat, disgusting--

-But before you could continue, your story was cut off by the impact of Kuroo’s embrace

-Your surprise silenced your sobs, and you could only stare wide-eyed at the space in front of you as you felt his arms squeeze tightly around your frame

-You both sat there for a few moments on your knees, with your back lightly leaning against a wall

- “I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing,” he begins softly. “Thank you for sharing with me. It must’ve taken a lot for you to do that.”

-He was right. It was your first time reaching out to another person about this. It was the last thing you thought you would’ve done today

- “I want to let you know that you shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling this way. Reaching out is important and brings you the help you need to get better. I know you might not want help right now or think that these thoughts and behaviors are a problem. However, telling me about all this shows that some part of you is recognizing there’s something wrong and you can’t always handle it on your own.”

-There were many reasons you kept this to yourself. You didn’t want to bother anyone else. Your problems seemed so trivial.  You worried saying them aloud would confirm your beliefs. You were scared people would see you differently. You--

-The intrusive thoughts never failed to make you feel ashamed

-However, it was oddly comforting to release the pent up emotions. To know you didn’t have to bottle up this burden anymore, and that you weren’t alone

-You were about to murmur in response when,

- “Also, you’re an idiot, y/n.”

- “Wow, thanks, as if I don’t already think that about myself,” you bit back in response

-You were about to shove him away just when he released his grip around your body and placed his hands on your shoulders

-His eyes shone with determination and a faint, inviting smile spread on his lips

- “You are the one of the single most important things in my life. I just mean you’re an idiot in the sense that you’re overevaluating one aspect to define your whole self. You’ve forgotten about all your other redeeming qualities that contribute to who you are.”

♡ “Your size, weight, shape; none of that matters. What matters is your health and happiness. Neglecting yourself in order to reach an ‘ideal’ that you’ve concluded is the answer to your self-worth is only bringing you farther away from what you truly want.”

♡ “I don’t mean to downplay any of your emotions or how significant this is to you. Your first step was to put your trust into someone else about this. That’s done. Now, I’m here to help you undergo self-evaluation and serve as encouragement on your journey to self-love and acceptance.”

♡ “I also want to remind you progress is not linear. There will be times when things are harder, and that’s okay; it’s part of the process. If you’re open to getting better in the future, I’m sure as hell going to be there every step of the way.”

♡ And with a soft peck to the forehead and another hug, he nuzzled into your neck and muttered, “I love you. And I want you to love yourself. So, please, allow me to help you through this and I guarantee that by the end of it all, it’ll have been so worth it.”

♡ Unsure what to say, you gripped his jacket tighter, buried your head in his shoulder, and muttered, “Thank you.”

♡ While the negative feelings about yourself remained afterward, you were relieved that your boyfriend was supportive and calm

♡ He treated you the same as always, teasing you over dumb things while making you feel like you stood among the highest peaks on Earth

♡ The day after, he had shown up to your house, weary-eyed and carrying his backpack

♡ “Kuroo? Why are you here? Also, why do you look so tired??”

♡ He stepped into your house with a yawn. He stretched his arms, then reached for his bag and whipped out his laptop

♡ “I stayed up a bit last night to do some research, babe! I also learned a lot about nutrition and molecular gastronomy, so I could help you come up with a meal plan that you’re okay with!”

♡ You were touched he was educating himself on how to help you

♡ But you drew the line at the science jokes-- (Kuroo: “You know you love them.” ; You: “‘Na’ I don’t.” ; Kuroo: :ooo “Did you just-- Marry me.”) (Na = sodium lol)

♡ His nutritional research helped you to learn the contents of food beyond calories; mans explains the vitamins, nutrients, amino acids, etc in them that you need and their benefits

♡ “Trout, avocados, and almonds have vitamin E, which is good for your skin! Oh, and don’t get me started on bananas. Yes, they have carbs (which your body needs anyway as a source of energy!), but POTASSIUM?? Shit’s gonna regulate your fluid balance, maintain heart health, stimulate normal muscle function, AND help your brain to communicate with the rest of your body!”

♡ ALSO cooking dates; just as chaotic (“Aw mannn, the egg exploded all over the microwave!” dont ask y it was being microwaved)

♡ Over time, he’s taken mental notes about your thoughts, feelings, triggers, etc

♡ He’s quick to pick up on your mood and will always ask you how you’re doing

♡ Tries to do something special for you on days you’re especially not feeling well, like taking you on a spontaneous date! (You: “Do you know how to ice skate?” ; Kuroo: “Uhh,,, after today, I will hopefully”)

♡ But will also opt for staying in with you and cuddling when you don’t want to go out (Kuroo: “I heard this movie is soooo bad! ...wanna watch it?”)

♡ Invited you to the beach with his team during the first week of summer

♡ You were unsure about this, since that meant going out in public, potentially with minimal clothing

♡ You initially sat on a beach towel under an umbrella, wearing the security of a T-shirt. He’d been aware of how you felt ever since he asked you to come, so he would sit with you and link an arm around your shoulder

♡ “I’m lucky I get to spend this day with you,” he’d say. “You look gorgeous. You always do. Now, I wanna see you smile and have fun. Let’s go take a dip, yeah?” He offered his hand, which you shyly took, and pulled you up

♡ Then immediately picked you up and started running to the water to get you soaking wet, and you were forced to ditch the heavy, waterlogged shirt

♡ However, you silently thanked him for his sweet words, making you feel secure enough to just forget your worries and enjoy the warm sun and cool water

♡ He also tries his best to lessen your anxieties over food and often shares/eats meals with you

♡ Reminds you everyday how much you’re worth to him and that there’s nothing about you that needs to change

♡ This sweet, protective, n smart boi will treat you how you deserve. It’s a guarantee he’ll be there through thick and thin, and he’s excited for the day you realize you’re just as amazing as he knows you are 💕

a/n: oop this was rlly long lol mb, i just may or may not personally know a bit about this so i went oFF

also neded to some som silly n fluff bc we all need dat

also, these r like kinda hc’s ?? but also a deconstructed oneshot/scenario?? bc they provide some rly brief bg story? one from more  of the character perspective while the other more on y/n before we get  to the hc’s about how he treats y/n. how everyone struggles w body image is different n i wanted to portray a bit of what it felt like and how it could manifest in ppl’s behaviors/thoughts. however, this is not to say that everyone feels exactly like this. what i wrote only represents a fraction of it all.

by providing some sort of bg i hope im not making u feel like this isnt u  or that u cant relate, pls lmk if i need to change anything to make it  right for u <3 ok now im actually done sry long author’s note  rfguhofe this is just rlly important to me y’all  , stay safe n take care, much luv for u <3

[onceuponaloonatic]

surrogate au: im sure teachers cant be the teacher to their kids, especially in schools.. what if sana has to call minayeon and ask if theyre willing to pull saki out of her class bc otherwise she has to be the one changing classes. let's start the drama *evil laughs

When Sana realized who Saki was, she knew she had a problem. Not just because of who Saki was or who her parents were. She knew she had a conflict of interest. There wasn’t technically any rule limiting teachers from teaching their own children, but it was still frowned upon and Sana knew she would make sure Nico was never put in her class. Though in most ways Saki was not her own child. But in a different way, she was Sana’s biological child and there was a good chance she would have a conflict of interest. She could convince herself that she wouldn’t give Saki favoritism. She just knew herself well enough to know she couldn’t be completely unbiased as hard as she tried. And she thought that wouldn’t be fair to the other kids. 

So she faced a dilemma. It wasn’t like she could go up to her boss and just tell him Saki was her biological child she hasn’t seen since she gave her up for adoption. Even if he did approve it they still had to call Mina and Nayeon and explain the situation to them, which meant Sana would have to talk to them through the administrators, which could be a pain. If she had to talk to Mina and Nayeon, she would rather not have the administrators involved, at least in their first conversation in six years. Sana had been too nervous to talk to them over the phone, instead sending them an email. She had received a message from Nayeon back, but she knew it was from her secretary. She handled most of Nayeon’s emails for her, and Sana knew how Nayeon typed. Her secretary had confirmed a time, the whole process feeling very impersonal. The meeting had been arranged for the next day after school, giving Sana some time to think about what she was going to say to Mina and Nayeon. She thought about it a lot, no matter how much she tried to busy herself with her newborn daughter her brain kept drifting back to Mina and Nayeon. Sana didn’t sleep much, she spent the whole night holding Nico’s tiny hand while she slept. She cared for Nico when her little one needed her, but when she was asleep Sana just went through different scenarios in her head. She thought about what to say, how she would say it. She wondered if she should try to stay strictly professional, or if she should talk to them. She didn’t know. Plus she still hadn’t fully processed the fact Saki was back in her life. 

She liked the name Saki. It was adorable. It meant blossom, and Sana had always thought highly of the name. She wondered what Saki’s sisters' names were. She had heard her mention her sisters, and she remembered overhearing the other teachers talking about how crazy it was they had quadruplets at their school and how rare they were. According to the other teachers, two of them were even in the same class, and the other was in a different class. Sana wondered who was the older, who was the youngest. Who was each of the nicknames she had given them when she was pregnant with them. She still remembers all of the little nicknames she had for each of them. Before Sana knew it, it was morning. Momo teased her for being an overbearing mother while Sana sipped her second cup of coffee before work. Momo took Nico to daycare while Sana went to work, and the whole drive to work Sana nerves built. She knew she still had a whole work day before she had to talk to Mina and Nayeon, but that didn’t make her any less nervous. She was incredibly nervous already.

Throughout the day, the nerves built. Sure a class of 20 six and seven year olds was more than distracting, but anytime Sana had a moment to think the nerves came back and hit her harder. Her hands were practically shaking as she waved all the kids bye for the day. While waiting for Mina and Nayeon, she tidied up her classroom a bit. She had to do that everyday, but today felt particularly important. Mina and Nayeon were just as time. Sana knew that was something Mina was always really serious about, and it was cute to her to think Mina still felt it was serious even with all the chaos of having four kids. 

It felt a bit weird for all of them to be in the same room again. Sana was sitting at her desk while Mina and Nayeon were both sitting at the two kids desks right in front of it. 

“Cute kid.” It was then that Sana noticed Nayeon was staring at the framed photo she had of Nico on her desk. Momo had a friend who was a photographer who had offered to photograph Nico for free as a practice to start working with kids, so Sana actually had quite a few good pictures of her littlest baby. 

“O-Oh thank you.” Sana felt the urge to turn the photo away so they couldn’t see it. She didn’t know why, but she suspected it was because she wasn’t sure if Mina and Nayeon knew about Nico or not. “U-um she’s mine.” “I know. Saki talks about it at home…” None of them had been able to make eye contact. Things just felt so awkward between them all. “So you got married?” “Um yeah…” Sana cursed herself for lying. “I don’t wear my ring while I’m working, it can get a bit hard with so many young kids running around.” Sana didn’t know why she was trying so hard to lie. 

“So who is it-”

“We came here to talk about Saki Nayeon.” Mina interrupted. “So let’s talk about Saki, yeah?” “You’re right. Sorry.” Nayeon took Mina’s hand. Sana bit her lip purposefully, she remembered how warm Mina’s hands were, and she cursed herself for missing it. “So, what is it?” “Well, this isn’t technically a school policy, but we generally try to avoid putting kids in classes where they are related to the teacher because well, there’s a conflict of interest and well we wouldn’t want any kind of favoritism here, so I was going to ask if you think there is a conflict of interest. You can easily request Saki to move teachers, I will sign off on it-”

“Why would she change teachers?” Nayeon leaned back in the too small chair. “She loves you.” “Okay, I’ll be a bit more direct. Do you really want me to be this close to her? I thought I wasn’t supposed to see any of them.” Sana asked. “I mean- it’s not ideal.” Nayeon sighed. “But I meant it, she loves you. I always knew you would be a great teacher someday.” “What my wife is trying to say is that we don’t think our daughter would forgive us if we pulled her out of your class. You are her favorite teacher, and I think she would be really upset if we pulled her out without telling her why. The situation wasn’t something any of us ever saw happening, but it would be more harmful for her to get pulled out of her class.” Mina explained. “Just, don’t get too close.” “Don’t worry. She is just another one of my students.” Sana nodded. “We all have our own lives now, this is just a temporary thing. I will treat Saki the same as my other students, of whom I all treat the best I can.” Mina and Nayeon both nodded at that. 

When they left, Sana’s hands were shaking. She couldn’t believe she had just seen them both again. And that she had been able to stay so composed. What she didn’t know was that Mina and Nayeon felt the exact same.

[megatraven]

you know i had do it ya... all of them. all of the watercolors

DSFRGTREDFR i appreciate u so much....... (wont re-answer th ones ive already answered tho)

cadmium yellow; when you think of the word “happy” what’s the first thing that comes to mind?

alex. is anyone surprised? probably not. alex is the biggest source of happiness for me at the moment bc i love them so much and think of them so often vuv

hansa yellow; what’s your guilty pleasure song?

god is a woman by arianna grande!!!!! love it

yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of!

i hope it counts if it’s a fictional band bc Julie and the Phantoms own my ears rn

naples yellow; where do you feel most at home?

in my little apartment, in my bed with bunches of blankets and stuffed animals and snacks vuv

raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home?

i don’t know! i’ve never really thought about it, and thinking about it now, i can’t pick out just one person. any of my friends, i guess!

golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend.

i don’t have just one closest friend, i have a few. but my relationship with them is nice, we’ve made good strides to setting healthy boundaries, i think, and we can talk to each other about anything! :D

cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off?

rest and relax, watch a show or maybe just turn on some music while I play lovestruck or lovelink, play some pokemon, and either write or draw! i also really like to nap, especially since i often wake up early on my days off, and most of my friends aren’t online yet. helps me skip to when they Are online

orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad?

oh, i have many people who would be very supportive, i know. it’s not a matter of having someone for me, though. i just don’t know how to bring it up to them, so i usually just keep quiet about it whenever i am :’)

titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings?

relaxing evenings, i think. slow mornings tend to frustrate me a little, but relaxing evenings are perfect

shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything?

julie! and! the! phantoms!!!!! i mean i already bingewatched it but i keep rewatching it like all at once, that counts right???

red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)?

right-brained B)

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it?

there are many, but i can’t think of any names or artist right now :^)

english red; what animal do you relate to most?

tiger tiger tiger tiger t-

vermilion; what’s your favorite accent?

right now? greek!

cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other?

not really! just. girl or nb, i guess lol

scarlet; describe your current crush/es.

i guess i’m still nursing a crush from a couple years ago, though it’s much smaller now since we don’t talk as much but ummm she’s really sweet and funny, and endlessly kind it feels like. she’s so creative and smart and i love how passionate she gets <3 she’s a really good friend, too, and i really appreciate having her in my life in any amount :D

ruby; what does your ideal first date look like?

some cute little cafe-type place, MAYBE with some light hand holding, as we talk about whatever comes to mind, be it fandoms, our lives, etc.

carmine; what does your ideal second date look like?

just hanging out in the living room or bedroom, really. i don’t care much for going out, but if we went out anywhere at all, it would be lovely to walk down the street after a nice autumn rain vwv

madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date?

no, and i don’t think i will ever really want to kiss anyone, thinking of being kissed kind of squicks me out. unless it’s a kiss on the cheek or hand or something, then that would be okay :)

rose; what’s something really positive going on in your life right now?

oh hm..... well, at work, my coworker has been really nice about letting me play christmas music on the radio all day :) it drives him nuts, but he keeps turning it on for me because he knows i like it a lot. it’s really sweet. it’s not a huge gesture, but it means a lot to me!

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to?

the day that i finally adopt a cat! i’ve been sitting on it since around april but i just keep waiting. the day i do it, though..... i can’t wait!

violet rose; what does your dream house look like?

small house near the base of a mountain. neighbors not too far away, but not too close. i have a big yard, and a great view of the mountains i nthe area, and lots of trees. inside and nice and homey, soft yellows with accents of white paint the walls inside and out, and it’s filled to the brim with little knickknacks and things i’ve collected over the years

violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down?

right now my heart is set on colorado because the mountains there were gorgeous.... i’d settle for anywhere close to some mountains though

blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down?

i’d like to travel a little, visit some of the friends i’ve made, really do something good for the world before i settle

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to?

the rocky mountains!

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it?

i’m in a good mood right now! just getting to talk to my friends while i eat dinner and enjoy the things i love is a pretty good recipe for a good mood!

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember?

i.... hmm. im having a hard time remembering any recent dreams. i had to go look into one of my chats for the last time i mentioned one- i had a dream where i was talking and became friends with Mr Fruit, a youtuber i’ve gotten really into watching recently :)

bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each?

honestly just me, a spouse, maybe a kid that we adopted (Maybe!!!!), and a LOT of pets. cats and dogs, at least one snake, some rats........

blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could?

i’m okay with my name, though i think i’m starting to really prefer meg over megan. if i could give myself a different name w no judgement on what it would be, i think i definitely would tho

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent?

vanilla cupcake candles <3

azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any?

i don’t have a favorite!

turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant?

tiger lilies <3

cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog?

ABSOLUTELY

glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives.

cute. soft. mine.

yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario?

i hear the sound of birds and crickets, and a babbling brook off in the distance. i see flowers that don’t typically grow together doing so for me, shifting lightly in the wind. a few critters bounce over the flowers from time to time- fox kits, rabbits. everything’s at peace.

green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better?

hmm. yes and no? i think a lot of things for me would improve if i could just work up the courage to come out irl. even if i didn’t get the responses i would want.

green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them?

france, cyprus, japan. i think the one i would like to visit most is cyprus :) i don’t have plans for the other two, just dreams vwv

emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn?

not yet! but i’d love to learn french and greek and tagalog!

oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book?

where the red fern grows

olive green; are you currently reading anything? how do you like it so far?

not any books, but i’ve been meaning to start reading cinder!

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh?

ratatouille vuv

burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself?

eat dinner and drink water :) (im doing both rn)

umber; have you drank enough water today?

i think i’ve drank 2 bottles. not as much as normal, but i plan to drink more!

voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent?

my scro friends :) (thats th name of our gc lol) there’s three other people in there and that’s typically where i go to vent if i have to. them, or my MLF friends. both groups always have my back and i adore them 

sepia; name five things that always make you happy.

alex, food, blankets, talking to friends, buying stuffed animals

indigo; what’s the best/sweetest compliment you have ever received?

one of my coworkers once told me that he can see the passion that i have for art, and i don’t think anyone has ever told me that they can see it before. it meant a lot and i hold it close to my heart now :)

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic?

this is too hard my aesthetic is too broad ;( here’s my aesthetic tag tho

black; post a selfie because you are so beautiful!

im eating fried chicken rn so i will not take a new pic. instead, have this older selfie from 4 months ago!

[costellos]

tell me who you’d take on a date and where you would go! — CLOSED

@thisbloghasnoaesthetic​ asked: Id love to take Jotaro on a date. Just something chill. Like getting some good food. Or just sitting together doing nothing. I'd love to just read a book with my head on his shoulder. Just enjoying eachothers quiet comfort :)

omg that sounds like a great date for Jotaro! he definitely seems like the type to want a chill date. he’d probably opt for something that offers takeout if you’re referencing Part 3!Joot, somewhere a little nicer but just as casual if you’re referencing Part 4!Joot. and while you’re reading, you might just catch a teeny, tiny smile on his lips. but don’t say anything or you’ll ruin the moment 🤭💕

anonymous asked: i would wanna take kakyoin out to an indoor roller rink so we could rollerskate together 🥺 it’s one of the things i like to do most and i’d wanna skate around w him while holding hands! also cause he’s tall, i feel like it’d be hard for him to keep balance and prevent himself from falling lolll. but we could go out to an ice cream place nearby afterwards and watch the sun set (if the time is right) 💗

how cute!! sharing something you love with the one you love most... I dig it. Kakyoin would be soooo embarrassed, though! he just wants to impress you but his center of gravity is absolutely awful. rip. at the end of the day, however, he’d be so appreciative that you shared something so personal with him. ❤️ let him pay for the ice cream, it’s the least he can do!! and maybe hold your hand while you watch the sunset 🌅

@lavaicerinkk​ asked: I would ask mista, probably to like a concert or something like that. We'd probably go as homies, then when we get home id be like "what if we kissed haha" and hed be like 😳😳 ok, and then we live happily ever after

LMAAAAOOOOO. I feel like this is v in character for Mista.... he’d be caught so off guard by it! esp since he probably would’ve accepted that you were just friends. not that he’d say no, tho 👀 he’d just be like, “wait, for real?” and waste no time kissing you after you gave him permission. what a happy ending. 💕

@murcx04​ asked: Take someone on a date huh hmmmmm- Josuke is my bet HAHA Hed be so refreshing to be with óuò. And we'd go shopping kfbfjfn And that where- he'll just show his pleading eyes and want you to buy the shoes he wants oh boy-

I agree, he would be a very refreshing plus one! I think a shopping date would be v traditional with him. I’m imagining you both at the mall, where he cackles at all the weird sex stuff at Spencer’s and shares his food court soft pretzel with you. 🥨 he probably wouldn’t explicitly say that he wants new shoes, but he’d nudge you and be like, “hey. if you wanna know what to get me for my birthday...” and point to the Air Force 1′s on display. so subtle. 🙄

anonymous asked: tbh i think i'd like to take kira out to dinner and go on a walk. i know its a simple date but i think he's really neat and i don't really like big or flashy events and i don't think he would either kjfnksnjks. its just sumn that would suit both of us nice

ooo interesting choice, nonnie! I 100% agree with you on this one. Kira would probably take you to one of those restaurants that have private rooms. I think some ritzier places are like that? anyway, he’d want to focus this date all on you. no mindless chatter from other patrons, no screaming children — the more noise he can minimize, the better. and during your walk, I can see him allowing you to take the reins on the conversation. he just finds everything you say so fascinating! 🌷💗

@catnymous​ asked: I'd take Fugo first to just a simple lil cafe then to the park :3

Cat!! I missed you!! you should come into the askbox more often, I always enjoy your replies. in the meantime, Fugo probably overthinks a lot so this date would be casual enough for him to relax. he would probably opt for some coffee and a slice of cake that he can share with you 🍰❤️ and a stroll through the park would be the perfect way to walk off the calories! (plus when you get to a fountain he’ll probably make some corny wish about getting to spend more days with you like this a;sdfkjl)

anonymous asked: Idk if you’re familiar with part 7... but I would bring Johnny to the planetarium; it’s a place that I love, and bringing him to a place special to me would mean a lot, I think. I’d tell him all of my favorite things about space. And, it’s a little mushy, but I’d remind him that just because you can’t always see the stars doesn’t mean they’re not there; every one is special and the same is for people. And of course, it would be a fun day out to appreciate the beautiful things in the world

unfortunately, I’m not familiar with Part 7... :( but thank you so much for sharing nonetheless! this is such a heart-warming confession 💕 I wish there was more I could say; I love that you’d share all your favorite things about space, and how everything and everyone is special. 💫 such a beautiful confession. 

@serenityblaze44​ asked: I would take Bruno and/or Abbacchio to a conservatory or garden, maybe bring a picnic. Nothing too exciting, just time to relax and spend time together. Then go home for cuddles.

por que no los dos? ahaha nah I’m joking... unless 👀 no but for real, this sounds ideal for both of them! ❤️ they would both appreciate the time to unwind. I could see Abbacchio prepping all the food, while Bucciarati handles everything else (packing the blanket, utensils, alcohol, etc.). they’d probably opt for somewhere outside of Naples since it’s far too crowded in the city. afterwards, be prepared for a gr8 nap between two warm, loving boys!!

anonymous asked: I'd take Kakyoin on a date! I think it would be really fun to go somewhere like an amusement park or arcade so we could just kinda be stupid together and forget our problems. Id go on the Ferris wheel and try to kiss him at the top but he'd probably shake the cart the whole time to freak me out 😂😂 After everything he's gone through, he deserves to have a lot of fun and id love to see him smile 🥰😍

aw friend, this is such a sweet scenario! hopefully the Ferris wheel doesn’t give him too many bad memories of Death Thirteen though ope,, anyway, what a lovely way to forget about all the stuff he’s endured! he’d playfully challenge you to some arcade games (and I’m using “playfully” lightly here) and then destroy you. 🙄 but it’s okay, any tickets he gets will immediately go to a cute stuffed animal just for you 🧸

@hadesaedes​ asked: OOOH I’d have to go with either Yukako or Koichi (even tho i have like TWO hands either is fine). Yukako is a very passionate and strong lover which I LOVE cause im shy with affection so being bold with it is MWUAH. While Koichi is also passionate I like to think he enjoys more simple and low key dates which is my type of thing. Having to just bask in each other’s company without having to fill the silence is GREAT. THEY ARE BOTH GREAT!!! In this essay I will-

AHHH A+ CHOICES, FRIEND. Yukako and Koichi would spoil you so much!! they’d handle any date expenses (movie tickets, food, etc.) and would adore having any opportunity to hold your hand 😊 Yukako would probably be more physically affectionate; she’ll either have her hand on top of yours or her feet wrapped between yours when sitting. Koichi would opt for compliments, praising you on how cool and smart you are! wow, what a supportive pair 🤝

anonymous asked: It's very hard to choose, but I'd go on a date with Bruno. Idk I'm just very gay for him. He knows a lot of nice and fancy places in Naples, but since that's not really my world, I'd take him to a small coffee shop or something. Nothing fancy or expensive but still very enjoyable. Maybe some ice cream. Walking through the city and going to a restaurant in the evening. Maybe something fancy this time, or just a simple pizza

how lovely!! Bucciarati would honestly be open to try anything, but I think a small coffee shop would be v enjoyable for him. there’s so much you can learn about someone over a cup of joe. ☕ since he’s been living in / around Naples his whole life, he’d probably share some neat facts about the city while on your stroll! “the Amalfi Coast is best known for its limoncello liqueur. I know a great place to try it if you’re interested.” 🍋

@moloko-tyan​ asked: Hello, little bird💫sending you rays of love and positive energy! This new event is so much fun. Several hours I wondered with who I wanted to go out, ahah. And I think it would be Erina. She deserves to have fun especially after all those awful events in her life. We would go to atelier. We could go through fabrics to choose which fits the best. We would look at lovely laces, buttons, jewels and we would argue about models of dresses and evening gowns. I want her to feel safe🌻 thank u so much!

friend! I always get so excited when you pop into my askbox!! ty for participating 💕 Erina is such a great choice imo. and this is such a creative date! she’d have so much fun running her fingers over all the interesting fabrics. Erina would take the most beautiful dresses and hold them up against you, saying how lovely the color suits you. 👗 although she’d be too shy to try those dresses on herself, she would have so much fun spending the day with you!!

anonymous asked: I hope it's okay to send this (I honestly don't want you to get overwhelmed)! But if it's okay: I would love to take Fugo on a date! I love this boy with all my heart and I would love to travel with him to my country to a town next to the sea and give him a tour of its history (and visit the local art and history museums there)! And later grab some ice cream and walk along the seafront in the evening where there are less people and just enjoy the walk together as the sun sets. -Turtle Anon🐢

oooohh, Turtle Anon!! thank you for your concern. you’re all good, don’t worry! anywho, that’s a wonderful date for Fugo. he would have an absolute blast reading about all the art and history your country has to offer 🏛️ you might have to push him along though, he’s the type to absorb everything n really slow down when reading... but at the end of the day, as you’re walking along the beach, he’d thank you for sharing a part of yourself with him. he’d be so honored! ☀️

anonymous asked: tbh i'd love to take narancia on a super spontaneous date... only the date and time are set, the entire day is just going around town and doing whatever stupid fun random things,, eating street food and going into shops to try on random fits and running around laughing, mayhaps go to an arcade, or do some karaoke. and then wind down at like a mcdonalds late at night, tired but happy and satisfied.. hhh nara is v fun i just wanna hang out w him honestly 🤕😔🤕😔

yeeeess this is the perfect date for Narancia!! he loves spontaneous stuff like this. he’d have so much fun gorging himself on street food and playing around with weird fits. he’d probably put on the stupidest things he can find, like this. and if you go to karaoke, be ready to screech some absolute bangers. he will not take anything less than confident (yet bad), loud (yet joyous) singing. 🎤 n while he might be falling nodding off at the McDonald’s, he’d sleepily tell you how amazing the day was and how he wants to do this again 💕

@tomomi012​ asked: I'm going to share another ideal date idea, but with Kakyoin. I'd like us to go to one of those cat cafes in Japan. I mean, cats, coffee and a cute Japanese boy, is this heaven? and I would tell him: "Nori, today I am in heaven"

ofc, share all you want! omg... I love this idea..... Kakyoin would be so soft anytime a cat approaches him. he’d do a little “pspsps” and hold out his finger for them to smell. and once a cat actually nudges him, he’d just melt! he wouldn’t show it outwardly, but you can see it in how bright his eyes get. I think Kakyoin would be the type to either attract a ton of cats or cats hate him, there’s no in between. 😭❤️ both make for some gr8 scenarios, though! 

@pommmejuice​​ asked: for your post about taking a character on a date :,) i think i’d like to take abba to art museums/cultural centers ,, i’d love to talk to him about my culture and what life is like (if he’d be interested;; lol) n maybe afterwards while we get italian food he can talk to me about what italian culture is like, the parts that aren’t shown in the media 🥺 so uh a date where we’re both learning new things about each other hehe

n maybeeeee take fugo to a café where we can study together n talk about our favorite things in our lives/culture.... n maybe hold hands on the table and maybe stare into his eyes tenderly ... you know because he’s my BFF (Best Friend Forever) .. you know how best friends do.. 😳

ooo Ireeene I figured you’d say Abbacchio :3c but that’s such a cute date for him! ofc he’d be interested in learning more about you!! you wouldn’t see it, but every time you share something you that you love about your culture, Abbacchio’s gaze on you would be so loving... 💖 he adores that you’re sharing so personal with him (of all people!!). and he’d get a kick out of telling you misconceptions about Italy. don’t get him started on how much he hates the Mario Bros.

as for Fugo, he would react similarly. I could see him ask more questions about your culture, while Abbacchio lets you go on and on. he’s so interested in everything about you!! and the moment you hold his hand... wow... get ready to see some intense blushing... he wouldn’t pull away, but his attention would turn to something else and his stutter would be apparent. pull yourself together, Fugo! 😤

anonymous asked: I'd take Rohan on a date, I'm a lil gay for that trash man. Tbh, it would either be an amazing date or a total disaster. I think we'd plan something fun and relaxing, like going to an art gallery or seeing a movie, but we'd end up in an adventure because that's what keeps happening to Rohan for some reason. At the end of the day we'd go to a restaurant to put a normal ending to that strange day

HAHAHA omggg friend this is a pretty accurate description of Rohan’s life. I think he’d be really annoyed that the day ended up this way, but he’s glad that he got to spend it with someone he tolerates. 💕 Rohan would try to push past those feelings once you go to the restaurant. this date is still salvageable!! he might complain a lil, but ultimately, he’d try to focus on you and what you enjoyed 🥰

@xxbluejayxx​ asked: For the Jojo date thing, I'd take Abbacchio. Well not really picky about the kind of date, I feel a nice quiet one at home would be best. It could be a homemade dinner, a movie night, or both. When it comes down to it, for me anytime spent with someone I love is time well spent, and that is something I will willingly admit

this is such a peaceful date for Abbacchio! I agree, a quiet date at home would be best. 😊❤️ as I mentioned in other scenarios, he’d likely take over kitchen duties. no need to worry about anything, just tell him what you want and he’d whip it up for you! and when it comes time to watch the movie, he’d tell you to sit a lil closer to him... he’s not very good with verbalizing affection, but he loves when he can feel your skin against his.

anonymous asked: I reeally wanna take Polnareff on a date. He deserves it sooo much. He's such a handsome sweetie. Id turn on the charm for him for once, like he always does. I have a beautiful image in my head of an outdoor patio restaurant with hundreds of strings of lights. We both dress up and have a lovely meal under the stars and magical lights, and then our favorite song plays and we have a dance beneath the lights. I think it would be goofy and romantic, stepping on toes as we attempt to dance around 😍

ahhh Polnareff would be so flattered to have you flirt with him! he’d probably get a lil flustered since this is nicer than what he’s used to, but seeing you dressed to the nines would make make him go 🥵 likewise, he’d push himself through the situation by just focusing on you. and when you start dancing... wow!! he’d lose himself laughing and being absolutely miserable at showing his moves. but it doesn’t matter, because he’s here with you and everything is okay ⭐

@rat-makes-stuff asked: Ok so I would take Giorno back to my home state of Michigan. Mafia boss has got to be tired as hell, so what's better than walking through the woods and collecting rocks at Lake Huron (I'm biased that's my favorite lake no CAP). We would watch the sun set and then look at the stars when they come out. Wildflower picking, trying to see how many deer we can find, and picnics by the lake? Yes pleaseee

before I start, Tumblr wasn’t letting me tag you in this!! so I hope you still see my response :( anyway, this is such a relaxing date! Don Giorno would love to unwind in nature. he’d probably take some stones he found near Lake Huron and turn them into a bouquet of flowers for you! 💐and since he’s probably never seen the sky without light pollution, he’d be astonished at how beautiful the sky is. he wouldn’t be able to say anything, just pull you close to him and thank you for taking him out here 🌠

[notafrogblog]

Hi you have a s/o right yea what the FUCK is the difference between platonic and romantic feelings?

haha i am definitely not the best person to ask about this but i will do my best! also pls don’t judge me i’m a yearny bastard who hasn’t been able to see my gf nearly enough bc of covid and also the dact that neither of our parents know we’re dating! right, onto what you actually asked:

so, wanting to kiss them. this is not platonic. what i used to do when i was figuring out feels for people in general is imagine kissing them. you like it? huh? you think that’d be good? you want to do it? that’s not platonic. and i’m not talking about light pecks on the cheek or forehead kisses or that. those can count but it really determines what your standpoint and feelings toward platonic kisses are.

cuddling! i am always down for a cuddle session with the homies but if you always end up sitting next to them, putting your head in their lap, etc etc that’s the yearning fam. if you end up being physically close to them more than you end up being physically close to your other friends that’s romantic. now, in corona times, you shouldn’t be physically close with anyone besides those in your household, but the point still stands.

the big one here: imagine being in a romantic relationship with the person(s). would you like to be? and not just in the ‘wow celebrity hot 🥵🥵 my husbando’ type of romance. like the talking every day or most days, texting all the time, sending them things you enjoy or things they’ll enjoy, thinking of them constantly, possible kissing/cuddling/im a minor, etc etc etc. if that sounds like something you would want to do at least semi-long term, that’s romantic attraction.

if you’re not sure, mull it over a bit. in my experience, the best way to figure out feelings is to do some hypotheticals in your head and see what your gut instinct is. if you feel a negative or neutral feeling about most of the romantic stuff/scenarios, that’s probably not romantic. and remember that in the end, platonic and romantic relationships have different meanings for everyone, so i might take some time to figure out what your ideal romantic relationship would look like.

((last note: if yall flirt like all the fucking time in calls or groupchats, thats not platonic my guy. especially if the flirting moves into dms. speaking from experience.))

[yeoldontknow]

🖊️writers tag game🖊️

tagged by *deep breath* @ditzymax @red-exo @kyungseokie @j-pping @blackberrykai and...someone else im pretty sure for this sweet little tag game. thank you so much angels!

1. what is your ideal setting for focusing on your writing?

this confused me for a moment...because shouldn’t it be where? im so sorry. ok honestly...my ideal setting is in my bathroom in the tub with no water. this is ideal but i rarely do it. primarily this is because i do my best thinking by water - lakes, oceans, nature - which has resulted in tubs and sinks. i once wrote a midterm paper in my dorm bathroom in the nook under the tall sink. but because its uncomfortable and impractical, and i am not pressured to finish a paper under a time crunch, im kind of...all over the place? sometimes i write in bed with a few candles lit. other times im on the couch in my living room. i have a desk and i did all of chanvember last year at this desk, but since ive been working from home the writing space has become the work space and im still struggling to get the balance right. in all scenarios, i need a good snack (usually hummus + chips/veggies), water, and music playing is an absolute must. if the music is wrong, i simply cant write. thats how its always been.

2. what is your favorite genre to write?

angst, horror, mafia, historical, science fiction. i love love love writing these genres. romance falls thematically into these, but writing strictly a romantic drama is incredibly difficult for me.

3. do you prefer to write on paper, or digitally?

these days im all digital but when i was working in the office i was a mix of both. id scribble ideas on a piece of paper and rip it out to take it home; if i was on the train, id write ideas quickly into my notes app. several paragraphs of hero, replay, currents, and bloodletting exist on paper which i eventually transcribed into docs. but if im sitting down to write a fic, its generally digital.

4. it’s the middle of the night and you suddenly wake up with an idea. what do you do?

i have to flesh out the idea before i transcribe it. it depends on its its a plot idea or a line. if its a line that hits me or feels important, it immediately goes into the planning doc for whatever fic it relates to or suits best. i will then think about this line over and over until it becomes nonsensical an, hopefully though it is highly unlikely, fall back asleep and dream up something inspired by this line.

if its a story idea, i generally dont forget those so i dont need to immediately write them. those kinds of ideas arise out of dreams (assuming it woke me up, in this scenario) and i rarely forget what i dream. in that situation, i will not be able to fall back asleep. anyone who knows me knows that i struggle getting sleep. at best i will average 3-4 hours a night, simply because im thinking too much. so if this woke me up, ill spend the rest of the night thinking about how i want it to go, who it will suit, making a playlist or thinking about songs, gathering inspiration from my fiction fodder blogs, and only when the sun comes up will i consider perhaps its time for sleep. once i officially begin the day, ill review the vague planning doc ill likely have formed in my brain and actually compile it into a tangible document.

5. who is your favorite person to write about?

i mean....hello lmaooo park chanyeol. hes my muse. i do all my best writing for him, even if its unintentional. in other groups, i adore writing for taehyung and namjoon. their minds compel me. ive recently been thinking about writing some pieces for got7 and i do have an unfinished WIP for @red-exo and in all instances writing for JB excites me.

6. do you like making your own characters, or do you usually write about real people?

i mean...its RPS fic on this blog, so its real people but its a face claim. theyre kind of like my barbie dolls i insert into worlds in my head. so in a sense...theyre my own characters but they happen to look like idols lmao conversely, writing original characters (as in wyrm tamer, asas, theoretically TQIS) scares me. ive written rps fanfic for so long its as though ive lost confidence in writing my own characters. this is why many of my stories have started to see the introduction of other characters to practice it.

7. have you ever written a book, or a story with more than 15 chapters (or 100k words)?

ok the answer is yes but its not published. its 30 chapters, 200k words. it was originally a fanfic and ive toyed with editing it over the years in the advent that maybe one day i would publish it if i liked it enough.

fun fact: hero is about 15K away from 100K words. i will be celebrating when it gets there.

8. how often do you get ideas?

like...constantly. all the time. every time i hear music, or watch a film, or read something in a book, my mind commences the ‘would you like to go to another dimension’ quest and i always, without fail, hit the yes button.

9. do you ever get an idea that you really like, but just can’t seem to finish?

*glances sidelong at my masterlist and my 17 unpublished wips* you must be new here

10. what is your least favorite plot?

like...genre? as i said before, idol!verse is something i refrain from reading. i struggle profoundly writing fluff/romantic fluff which is why i try to practice it. plots, in general, in which someone has to go through a makeover of some kind (appearance wise) to suddenly be categorically enough (this isnt just fic...its how i feel in any media). rape/dub-con is a hard pass. otherwise, im down for pretty much anything.

11. tag 5 or more people

@dark-muse-iris @yehet-me-up​ @jiminiethot @iq-biased @yoonia @jamaisjoons @jenmyeons @fairyyeols @readyplayerhobi @johobi @yixingminseokjongdae @imdifferentshadesofpurple  yall i think everyone and their brother has done this tag. if ive tagged you and youve already done it im real sorry :( as always please only do this if you wish

[taehyungsgrowl]

ILY2 🥺Slut rights for Nate but mean Nate deserves rights too. (Also this is long, I am so sorry)

~~

“Y/N?” Duncan asked moving from the kitchen towards her. He could see in her eyes that something was on her mind, “come here.“ Duncan sat himself on the couch as gently as he could, still wincing as he made contact. He felt better than the day before, but it would be a while until he felt like himself again. Patting the seat adjacent as an invitation, “What are you thinking about?” “It’s nothing. I’ll be okay, I 

am

 okay,” she insisted as she sat down. Y/N didn’t want Duncan to be upset if he knew she called Nate. He’d been in such a good mood today, even though his body was hurting, his spirits were up.   “You only have that look when you’re about to vomit or something went wrong and I don’t think you’d sit here if you were about to do the first.”  “I called Nate,” Y/N sighed, scanning Duncan’s face for any sign of discomfort or jealousy, but there weren’t any. “I wanted to make sure he was okay after yesterday, but he hung up on me.” She sniffed back a tear and rested her head in Duncan’s lap, “I messed up and now he won’t even talk to me.”  “He’s still your friend, just give him a few days.” Duncan said as he massaged her scalp. “You said you’d give him space if he needed it, let him have that.” Last night was the first time he’d gotten to spend the night with Y/N in months. Even though the circumstances weren’t ideal, it brought his mood up to a place his insecurities couldn’t reach. It didn’t matter to Duncan if she’d slept with Nate a few times while he was gone, she chose to be with him. 

—

After a quickie with.. whatever her name was, she left, and Nate was alone.. again. How did he always end up alone? There was a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, he figured it was just a hangover plus it was past noon and he hadn’t eaten yet. But as soon as he opened the fridge he lost his appetite. Y/N made him lunch while he was out yesterday as an apology for sleeping over, at least that’s what the sticky note on top said. Nate ripped it up in frustration, he didn’t want to think about her, about yesterday, about her call this morning. Grabbing a sleeve of crackers from the pantry he headed for the couch.  “Come on Maximus, let go watch some tv,” at least he always had Maxie, that was one thing that wouldn’t change.  Of course when he opened Netflix the first thing to show up was the movie he’d watched with Y/N, it was like he couldn’t escape her. Everywhere he turned there was another reminder of their time together.  Frustrated, Nate grabbed a box and went around taking every trinket from their trips, framed picture of them, anything that could spark a memory, and shoved them inside out of sight. The only thing he couldnt seem to get rid of was the jar of notes she’d given him for his birthday. “For when you need a little pixiedust :)💜,” Nate shoved that one under his bed so it was out of reach. Everything else went in the box, he wasn’t sure what to do with it, but he felt a bit better. Flopping down on the couch with Maximus, Nate turned to look at him.   “At least you love me. I’ll always be your first choice, right?” Maxie took the question as an invitation to lay on top of Nate and lick his face until he was laughing and his hair was standing up in all directions.  — It had been a few days and neither Duncan nor Y/N had heard anything from Nate. Hoping he would at least hear out an apology, Duncan went to his house that evening.  When Nate opened the door to see Duncan there, the sliver of a good mood that he had had, dissipated. “What do you want, Shepherd?” Even though Duncan had practiced this tens of times by himself it was much more nerve wracking when Nate was glaring at him like that.  “I.. I just wanted to say I’m sorry for Saturday,” he was talking so quickly that he stumbled over the words. “I shouldn’t have come at you like that. I miss you bro, I just want to be your friend again.”  Duncan took a deep breath to calm himself before continuing, “I know I made a stupid mistake, I just felt like you were hiding something from me and I went for the worst case scenario. But I know you two hooked up before we started dating, Y/N told me, I’m okay with it. Please say something, Nate?” Nate left Duncan floundering in the doorway as he went to grab the box of Y/N’s things, at least now he knew what to do with them.  “Here, give this to Y/N.”  Duncan looked confused but accepted the package, “so? Are we cool, or…?” “Or.” Nate didn’t want to see Duncan anymore either, all it did was remind him of her. Seeing them walk around campus holding hands, laughing together, doing everything Nate wished he could? Was just too much. “Can’t you two just leave me alone for once? I don’t even understand why 

you’d

 want me around now that you know.“ Duncan was upset, he didn’t understand why Nate was being so difficult, unless he thought this would happen again. “Look man, I’m not mad that you hooked up a few times. It happened ages ago, I get it, but we weren’t together and she said it didn’t mean anything. You’re her best friend, she misses you. If you’re still upset with me, I get it, but at least talk to Y/N, she didn’t do anything wrong.” “I don’t know how to make it any clearer than this: I don’t want to talk to either of you. Id be fine if I never had  to see her ever again. And just so 

you

 know, she’s lying.”  Nate knew the chances of something more coming out of those months were slim. But to hear that it didn’t mean 

anything

 to her broke his heart more than it already was.  “The last time we hooked up wasn’t ‘ages ago.’ Whatever day you asked her out, that was it and it wasn’t some one off event, Duncan. I’ve been inside Y/N more times in the last month than you have in a year. Now can you leave me the fuck alone?” He left Duncan on the porch in shock slamming the door on his way in. Maybe now he could finally get some peace. 

--

hi i am the worst im so sorry!!! its been taking me longer to update :(

--

Duncan stood silent, looking into the box of memories Y/N had made with Nate while he was wasn’t there. 

He tried to replay what Y/N had said to him - she never told him they had hooked up that day. 

Was that why she was so angry at me when I tried to ask her out? Why she kept trying to push me away?

He couldn’t afford to get lost in those thoughts. Not again. 

What mattered was that he was with her now. 

Duncan wanted to say he didn’t know this side of Nate - but that was a lie. He was acting like the same jerk Duncan believed him to be when he first saw him cheating on Y/N. 

With a heavy sigh, he went back to his car, hiding the box in his trunk before going to meet Y/N at her house. 

Duncan hoped he could be enough for her. Enough that she wouldn’t keep seeking Nate out - especially if he didn’t want them around. 

Some friend... 

--

‘It didn’t mean anything’

Each time Nate hooked up with Y/N, he told himself not to expect anything else from it - he was so good at keeping boundaries. 

At least with every other friend with benefits - the difference being he had fallen for Y/N before that. 

He couldn’t help but feel hope. Nate knew how she felt about Duncan - hell, he was the reason Duncan and her were together. 

He knew all of this. He’s a smart man. Too smart for his own good sometimes. Which is why he kept trying to rationalize feelings for things he knew. 

He wasn’t Duncan - he didn’t get all the free passes Duncan got when he fucked up. Which was quite a bit, Nate thought bitterly. 

He didn’t want to care. 

It didn’t mean anything to her, but it did to him. Even if it didn’t give him hope that they would be together - she was his best friend. Didn’t that count for anything. 

But he supposed Y/N didn’t need a friend anymore now that Duncan didn’t let her have that. 

For god's sake, Duncan lashes out of her, punches him - and just like that, she still chose him. 

--

As soon as Duncan arrived at Y/N’s house, she pecked his cheek welcoming him in. 

“Hey, you okay?” she scanned his face in search of an answer. 

“Yup,” 

“Duncan...” she knew him too well, knew something was off. 

He opened his mouth to confront her. Duncan wanted to ask why she didn’t tell him the full story about her and Nate. But as he stood there, in her house, with her soft hands reaching for his, and her worried eyes that looked at him with nothing but love...

He realized it wasn’t worth it. 

He was finally on the path to having things be good between him and Y/N. He wasn’t going to let Nate ruin that. 

“I’m fine.” he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her cheek. 

“What are you cooking? Smells amazing!” he tried to divert her attention. 

“Thanks! I was thinking... if you’re okay with it. I’d like to invite Nate over for lunch too. I think it’s been enough time and I haven’t really heard from him.” She remembered the last phone call she had with him and frowned. 

Duncan froze. 

“Duncan? If you’re not-”

“I’ll call him,” Duncan replied quickly. “Why don’t you finish things up and I’ll give him a call?” 

“You’re the best.” she kissed him and left him alone in the living room. 

Fuck, Duncan thought.