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cherrysha · 4 years

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Uvo’s First Time With You

This is tooth rottingly sweet Uvo because i really cant help myself. im weak fr that big ass boi.

Requests are Open atm

Summary : I have this headcanon where Uvo doesn’t physically punish his girl *ahem* captive fr not wanting him... he just slips her a lil smthn smthn at dinner one night..

Word Count: 3,691

Warnings: dubcon/noncon, Yandere!Uvo, drugs, unprotected sex, cockwarming, kidnapping, tiniest mention of blood, mentions of violence, aaand I think thats it.

As per usual 18+ crowd here. No minors should be reading this.

He just sits there after dinner, quieter than usual as he waits for it to kick in.

His arm draped across the back of the couch and he just feels you slowly start to squirm around more and more, he lets his eyes wander over you.

“Is everything okay sweetheart?”

“Yeah...it’s just.. really hot in here Uvo” you whisper to him.

And you saying his name like that,, already so needy for...something, has him trying to hide the smirk on his face.

“I’ll adjust the temperature for you then.”

And beFORE he even has a chance to get up your whining at him not to leave. (which is COMPLETELY out of character since you usually are uncomfortable just being around this giant of a man who quite literally kidnapped you)

“I just wanna lay down Uvo.. I don’t feel good”

And there it is again. Usually he can’t even get you to look him in the eye but nOW?! Your saying his name and clutching onto his t-shirt like ur fighting the urge to wrap yourself around him.

He nods his head, keeping a straight face as he gruffly replies with “Go lay down then”

You just let out an impatient sigh and bury your face into his side.

And the bastard KNOWS you want HIM to lay down with you!! But he wants to hear you say it. Wants to see that pretty blush on your face when you get flustered.

You whine out “Uvo...” and stare at him, mentally trying to communicate your need without having to say it out loud. Not really understanding what you want, or maybe you do but you’re so far in denial that you don’t want to acknowledge it.

“Tell me what you want or I won’t give you anything at all.”

And he watches as a pout makes its way across your features.

With a huff you crawl into his lap, arms reaching as far up his tall frame as they can to grip onto his shirt again. Pressing yourself completely against him. You make eye contact for the first time that night.

“I - I want you to lay down with me... please Uvo?”

To say he’s shocked is an understatement

The man is beyond words. It’s only been 15 minutes since he slipped you the drugs and you’re already more comfortable with him than you’ve been since he took you months ago.

“All you had to do was ask sweetheart.”

It’s only been seconds from your statement and you don’t even care about laying down anymore. Can’t even really remember that you were having a conversation or what it was even about. All you can think of now is how hot you are, how your clothing is too itchy and constricting. Your skin is on fire.

Uvo’s body temperature is way hotter than yours normally, and even now he’s still very warm. But to you it feels like heaven. His warmth like a soothing balm over your skin.

“Uvo I need.. I need to take this off” you squirm and try your hardest not to fall off his lap as you wrestle out of your shirt.

His grip on your hips tightens a little. You miss the groan that manages to pass through his lips, too distracted with your own mission of getting out of the straight jacket of a shirt.

He watches you for a minute, panting at the way you’re accidentally grinding down on him. So focused on getting comfortable that you completely forget where your sitting, or that Uvo’s eyes are watching you undress.

“L-Lets get you into bed first sugar” and he removes your clenched fists from the fabric of your shirt. He’s playing the part of an innocent man, but his true motive is that he wants to savor this. He doesn’t want to rush through the moment so quickly that he doesn’t have time to truly indulge in it. To drown in it.

At this point the drugs are kicking in HARD. All you can think of is your need for.. something. You just need it. And the frustration from the denial is mixing with the pain in your gut.

“No Uvo! I need it off.. all of it off! Please it hurts so bad. Please Uvo...”

You’re crying now, hitting his chest weakly with your closed fists.

Uvo’s lap us soaked from the wetness betwen your thighs. He’s not sure if you even notice. That along with the way you’re throwing your little hissy fit, squirming all over him has his head leaning back against the couch, stifling the moan that’s threatening to make it past his clenched jaw.

He collects himself, taking a deep breath before standing up, hands firmly planted on your ass to keep you as close as possible to his body.

He’s so tall that he has you pressed against his lower abdomen, your legs wrapped as far around his trunk of a torso as they can.

Your moving harder in his hands, panting as he takes you up the stairs.

At first he thinks youre struggling to get away from him, so used to your rejection that it takes him a minute to realize you’re rubbing your clothed crotch against his stomach, sighing at the friction of it.

You don’t even realize your doing it tbh. The drugs clouding your mind of any awareness you had. All you know is that moving your hips is making the pain in your gut a little more tolerable.

Uvo stops and just watches. Your breathing heavy as you rub yourself against him, little whispers of his name passing through your parted lips.

He realizes in that moment that he’s a goner. He expected this to be different, expected you to fight against it tooth and nail just like you fought against him over the months he’s had you. He knows you won’t stay this needy, but even now the intimacy you’ve shown him is enough to last him years to come. He’s prepared to go through whatever means necessary to feel this again.

You don’t even register he’s stopped or his heavy gaze watching you intently. You grab his shirt, hiking it up so you can feel the dips and curves of his stomach, greedily soaking up the soothing warmth against your hands, your body still unconsciously moving against his now exposed chest.

He listens to you moan in relief, watches as your face contorts in pleasure. Uvo starts walking again, albeit a little quicker this time. His mind wandering to the warm slick you’ve just covered his stomach with. He’s painfully hard, needing it just as much as you do.

And in all honesty I don’t think Uvo could deny you anything besides leaving him ofc.

So he gets you in bed and helps you remove everything besides your underwear even though you tried to take that off too and just waits for it... lays there and holds you, waiting for you to tell him what you want from him.

Yes, he could take you by force if he wanted to but this man craves your love and he knows if you give in willingly you know besides the fact he drugged you you’ll see him as your savior. There for you when your hurting, aching, desperately needing help.

“Uvo.. please.. shirt off” is all he can make out of your incoherent mumbling.

And this fucker

“Your shirt is already off baby”

He’s making it difficult on purpose. Stringing you out so he can see you sob for him.

“No...no. You undress. Please? Please..”

And that’s enough.

His patience is wearing thin. Months and months of craving you. Wanting you to love him but only getting one word replies and scared tears had him yearning for your affection, to the point it made him sick.

He’s never wanted anything as desperately as he’s wanted you. And you wanting him back? He’ll do anything to have his feelings reciprocated.

He takes everything off, even stripping out of his boxers.

You sob when he pulls away to shuck out of his clothing, fat tears sliding down your face at the loss of his touch.

It only takes him seconds but it’s long enough to have you in hysterics

He shushes you, laying you on his chest as he wraps an arm around your waist. Running his fingers through your hair, whispering in your ear:

“It’s okay”

“I’m here”

“I’m not leaving you baby”

Until you’ve calmed down. His skin on yours is a godsend. You actually kiss him first, moving in as he’s whispering to you and catching him off guard.

It’s open mouthed and sloppy, your need making you desperate.

When he starts to kiss you back you whine into his mouth, not being able to stop yourself from moving your hips.

Uvo grunts, letting himself roll up against you; loving the squeak you let out into his mouth as his hands grasp your hips.

He could stop right now and it would still be the best moment of his life. His tongue in your mouth tasting your desire and his hips moving in tandem with yours. It’s heaven.

To you it’s pure ecstasy. You’ve never experienced this type of gut wrenching pain before. A need so desperate you’ll do anything to quell it.

Even if it meant letting your captor fuck you senseless.

You’re unashamed. There is no room in your head to think about such things when your body is on fire like this, burning as your floor muscles clench and unclench so hard it’s excruciating. Trying desperately to squeeze around something and adding to the fire when they find nothing.

The little drop of relief you felt with Uvo was enough to spur you on. If he was the cure then consequences be damned. You were trapped anyway.

You learned you couldn’t outrun him, definitely couldn’t fight him, and now you’d just proven that given a little push you’d actually be with him. You let the thoughts float away

If this was your bed, you’d lay in it.

“Y/n” he lets out a grunt as the spot between your thighs coats his cock through the soaked fabric of your panties.

“Y/n... let me take these off.”

You don’t respond. Instead you grind down harder against him.

Uvo tears the flimsy material off of you body, your bra following soon after.

He’s watching the way your breasts bounce at the force, eyes only ripping away when a high pitched whine leaves your throat.

Your eyes are closed, only focusing on his cock sliding between your folds with every glide of your hips.

Hot and thick, you sob with relief. And still, it wasn’t enough.

“Please Uvo”

“Please what baby? What do you want?”

And with the most conviction you’ve had tonight you beg him “I need you inside of me. Please Uvo. Make it stop.”

He’s breathless. You’ve never wanted anything. No gift would satisfy you, no amount of money could buy your love. And with one measly pill he’s got you writhing on top of him, begging for him to fill you up with his cock.

It gives him a head rush. The only thing you’ve ever asked for is to be stuffed full.

And we all know Uvo is packing some heat right?

Uvo even knows he’s huge, and right now this mans ain’t trying to tear you open unless you wanted him to.

Even though he wants nothing more than to simply seat himself fully inside the tight clutch of your warmth, and god how easy it’d be in this position to just pick you up and sit you down on his length, he flips over. Being careful not to use too much strength in his excited state, so you’re laying beneath him on the bed.

You’re disoriented, and by the time you even fully process what’s happened he’s got his middle finger knuckle deep inside of you.

You arch your back, vision going black and mouth opening into a silent scream with how hard you cum just from one drop of relief.

And he’s trying so fucking hard to keep it together. The way your eyes roll back and your sex already trying so desperately to milk him, tightly clenching and unclenching around his digit.

He’s sure you’re going to drive him mad with desire.

You catch your breath and Uvo’s panting along with you too.

“Did that feel good baby?” And you nod up at him, still too dazed to speak.

“I bet you needed that huh?” smiling down at you, eyes blown wide with lust.

But even though his finger is plenty thick enough, it’s like your body KNOWS that it wasn’t his cock. You still ache for him, the release just pouring gasoline to the flames licking up your spine.

Your voice is just a whisper when you ask him

“More...” you look up at him, lips puffy and trails of tears running down your face. “Please”

And not for the first time tonight, Uvo almost snaps. He closes his eyes, blinking slowly before he takes a deep breath.

“Fuck baby... yeah, yeah I know what you want. Just. Just let me get you ready first okay?”

You give a reluctant nod and Uvo slides a second finger into you.

Any pain you feel at how thick he is, is masked by the spine curling burn in your veins. All you feel from the stretch is white hot pleasure.

And with a shaky breath your thanking him again, boosting his ego as he flicks his wrist to push and pull at the heat clutching around his fingers.

It feels like he’s stuck in a vice. So tight and wet for him... only ever for him. Eyes blown wide he watches as you shake beneath him, chasing any chance of stopping the pain you feel. He scissors his fingers open. He needs to stretch you out enough to fit.

When you start to get close again he pulls out. While he does want to draw this out, he mostly does it out of curiosity. Wants to see what you’ll do when denied your pleasure.

He gets his answer quickly as you let out a scream of frustration, moving your hands from the sheets beneath you to grip his hair, using all your strength to try and get his mouth down to yours in search of any piece of him you can get.

Obviously he doesn’t budge he’s like a thousand times stronger than you. BUT you do succeed in lifting yourself up to meet his lips, biting at them with a low growl in your throat.

For once in this relationship Uvo feels completely in control. He has you right where he wants you. Completely feral for him. Your reward is not only the return of his digits, but also a third finger fucking deeply into you as well.

“Lay back down” he growls out “ be a good girl for me again”

And you do. You’ll do anything for him. A sigh leaves your lips as the pain recedes, replaced with the pleasure Uvo is giving you. It towed a thin line between pain. Any time he slowed down it creeped into your consciousness again. He was your salvation, your only respite from whatever was doing this to you.

He’s your god, and after what felt like forever, he finally answers your prayers.

“S’gunna sting baby. Don’ wanna hurt you but I can’t... I can’t take any more.”

His fingers are gone. In their place is the head of his cock sliding between the soft petals of your pussy.

Uvo moans at the feeling. The feeling of you wanting him, slick and waiting for him.

Such a pretty little thing. He wants to mark you up, leave your body bruised with his signature. To feel the weight of your breasts in his mouth. Wants to bite down gently on your shoulder and taste the iron of your blood on his tongue. To feel your lips swallowing around him, to drown in the taste of your cunt as it clenches on his tongue. He wants every single part of you. But most of all, He wants to ruin you.

You moan, pulling him out of his reverie. “I - I need more Uvo! Not enough, please.”

All of those things can wait for now. His focus in this moment is on making you realize just how much you need him.

Gritting his teeth he slides the tip in, watching with wide eyes as it disappears inside of you.

It’s stretches you out, a whine escaping at the noticble sting of it. Uvo watches your face before slowly plunging deeper within you. You let out a cry as he stretches you out.

after a few pushes and pulls, slowly fucking you open Uvo finally sinks down until he’s fully sheathed inside, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

He’s paralyzed for a moment, his attention solely on how warm and wet you are. It’s firm yet gentle around him. Better than everything he imagined. Like silk, only alive, and he swears he can feel your heartbeat enveloping him.

He buries his head in your neck, licking a stripe up a line of sweat until he’s kissing you again. Swallowing every whimper that slips past your swollen lips.

His mouth stays on yours as he slowly pulls back and ruts his hips against yours completely for the first time. You’re scratching his back and god he wishes you could mark him up. Wishes beyond measure that he could carry the sting of you wherever he goes.

“Yeah..right t-there. Fuck!”

Your shy demeanor is being forcibly torn away. This is the first time he’s heard you curse, the sound of it making him let out a low growl. Thoughts of how he’s awoken some part of you he’d never seen before floating into his mind. his dirty little girl... he wonders how far he can push you until it becomes too much? It’s a question for another day. One where you’re used to taking his hard length, a day he’s not fucking you open.

“Tell me how you feel sweetheart”

You can’t even remember your own name, let alone construct a fully fledged sentence for the man above you. He’s pressing something deep within you that’s making your head even more dizzy than it was before. You clutch him as he rolls onto his back, laying you on his chest as he swivels his hips up into you, lazily grinding against your clit until your mewling.

“You needed this? Needed me? Just too shy to say it...”

He’s rambling, too far gone with pleasure to dice his words.

“Wanted to fill you up for a long time. You love this huh sweetheart? Love me inside of you like this.. so tight, made for me...All mine.” And then he quiets for a moment. His thoughts leading him elsewhere.

He pulls you tighter against his chest, your name falling from his lips like a prayer. Trailing his hand down to your clit, picking up the pace as he feels the beginning of your orgasm approach.

The pain is a distant memory at this point. The only feeling now was the all consuming pleasure Uvo was giving you. You try to writhe against him as the coil in your stomach threatens to snap, but his grip is iron clad on you. You’re so close, so close that your back starts to try to arch against him.

But with grunt he pulls completely out of you, steeling himself against the agonized wail that pass through your lips.

“Tell me you love me y/n.”

The denial.. the pain slowly consuming you once again. Your cunt clenches around nothing, broken cries leaving your dry throat.

“Say it and I’ll make you feel better. I’m the only one who can make you feel like this. “

He’s tense but his words are desperate. Brows furrowed as you try, and fail, to squirm out of his grip.

“Uvo...”

“Say it for me sweetheart.”

You gulp, the choice excruciatingly clear as the seconds tick on.

Uvo I ... I love you.” it’s whisper quiet but the way that his fucks back up into your aching core with renewed vigor is proof enough that he’s heard you.

Delirious with your confession he starts talking again. Mumbles interlaced with his sounds of pleasure of how good you are, how tight, how he’d kill anyone who harmed you, whatever you want is yours just say the word, he’s yours. All of him until he draws his last breath.

As he hits that sweet spot inside of you again and again and again the coil snaps. A pleasured cry wrenches what little voice you have left from your sore throat as you’re hit full force. You can’t help how your body thrashes to escape his grip. He makes you cum so hard you almost pass out, black dots clouding your vision as he stills inside of you.

He stops thinking, stops talking as his mouth falls open at the clench of your pussy around him. You squeeze his length, so hard that he doesn’t have to move to cum. He lets your body finish him as he plays with your clit, turning a deaf ear to your overstimulated whine.

The feeling of your pussy milking the rest of his release inside of you quickly becoming addicting. He’s never cum so hard in his life.

Months of pent of frustration paint your walls, the warmth seeming to soothe what is left of the painful ache of the drugs in your system. You let out a sigh of relief and relax as Uvo moves so he can spoon you, making sure to stay firmly rooted between your legs.

He pets your hair and whispers praises between gentle kiseses to you neck. You must be so exhausted, he knows. You let your eyelids droop, nows not the time to think about consequences. With Uvo’s strong arms wrapped around you, his cock still buried deep, you let yourself be lulled to sleep.

#uvo #uvogin #yandere uvogin #hunter x hunter #uvogin x reader #uvo x reader #reader insert #headcanon #yandere x reader

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bisluthq · 3 years

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this is like really random but i have to vent. so basically i’m 20 years old and in my second-year at a uk university. and like i had the worst first-year of my life, made no friends, and got long covid plus really bad depression so yeah it wasn’t great. and now im back at uni i just am really feeling my lack of experience. iv never even properly kissed anyone let alone had sex and all the drinking games etc revolve around sex. i’m pretty sure i’m bi just like based on what i masturbate to but i’v only ever looked at guys as potential relationships. i just like don’t know how to navigate the social world with no friends and no sexual experience, it just feels impossible. and all my friends from home (1 of which is at uni with me) have boyfriends or at least have had sex. and also clubbing feels totally revolved around sex and kissing. it’s really hard to admit to people that i’m a virgin because people assume i’m a prude or a weirdo when i’m not i just haven’t really had the opportunity. i’m just feeling like such a loser atm. oh aaaand i actually really want a boyfriend rn.

Firstly, this is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. There’s no timeline for these things.

Secondly, so this is going to be a long winded Agony AuNat but sometimes I think my best ones are. In a way, this reminds me of a friend I had like 20-21 at uni. Basically we became friends because I caught her forum role playing and I was like “lmaoooo I used to do that too!” and we like bonded over it and like very quickly I began realizing that she did it on the kinds of sites me and my online friends laughed at because they weren’t ⚡️aesthetic⚡️ or sexy. Like this was some high fantasy bullshit lol - no offense also cool - on like ProBoards when we were already in the Jcink era. Anyway no biggie. This girl - a horse girl at 20 still and not in the rich bitch way - proceeded to like… idolize me and obvi y’all know how much I like attention so I loved it. And one night she asked me for advice on how to get kissed because she had been like… really wanting to lose her virginity but things just weren’t happening. I proceeded to give the worst advice ever because I too was just a young un. I said “don’t worry it’s gonna happen for you!!! Like I’m sure your crush likes you!! Don’t stress you’re so pretty and sweet!” And I believed I was saying the right stuff and it comforted her ngl so I was like 👏🏻👏🏻 go Nat you’re the best at giving advice.

Except here’s the problem - it still wasn’t happening. She was going to parties with me and I was like dressing her sluttier like some weird teen romcom movie where I was giving her a makeover and like… no one was biting.

And then - for those who remember the Nat Cinematic Universe - it turned out that rando from my 21st who I randomly fucked? Ya dudes that was her crush lol and she hadn’t told me because she thought I’d figure it out lol and she was mad at me and we sorta stayed friends until I fucked that guy’s friend which was nbd to anyone involved because my bestie fucked him and tbh I fancied the friend because he was this average sized weedy dark haired boy who was very weird looking and she exploded at me and called me a slut and shit and that was that, friendship over.

Unsure what happened next, but the reason I’ve given you this backstory is from my current POV I gave extremely bad advice so I’m gonna try correct with you tonight.

Unless you’re in high school when friends of friends can go between people and say you have a crush, and then you text them and like bam you’re exclusive, you have to work to get ass or make friends. Okay the other exception is if you’re like SUPER hot idk about that life, but tbh probs even then. Life isn’t a teen movie, and you’re not gonna just catch someone’s eye and that’ll be that. Dressing nicely might be part of it, doing your hair and makeup in whatever style you want, and making it clear up front - especially at uni when imo branding™️ matters a lot - what your interests are and such shit all factor in. I’m not saying change who you are because again that’s supremely bad advice: figure out who you are. Figure out what you want to wear (experiment!), who you want to talk to (strike up convos on campus!), what you like doing (try things out!) and - most importantly - what you’re comfortable with. Try drinking - and if you don’t like it, don’t do it. Try flirting - and if you don’t like it, know that you can go from friends to this and not everyone enjoys that. Try clubbing - and if you don’t like it, know that there are a ton of societies you can join on campus and campus events you can go to that don’t revolve around that, so seek those out and find your tribe.

Fundamentally, college is what you make of it.

Which means that like unfortunately my dude, you’ll make a fool of yourself. Probably more than once.

But know that friends won’t manifest and boys won’t manifest unless you make an effort and put yourself out there. Ask people to coffee. Ask people to the pub. Girls, boys, enbies, whoever.

Re the anxiety about “never having done this before” - I think that’s totally normal. But also like lots of other people haven’t and everyone has had a first time. In drinking games you can lie lol. You don’t need to advertise it’s your first time for anything if you’re uncomfortable with it. I didn’t tell my first kiss he was my first kiss lol because it was unnecessary info for him tbh (it wasn’t hs boyfriend even tho I’m pretty sure I was his lol but he was my third 😌).

But you also don’t need to be shy about it because honestly 2nd year uni is so fucking young. It’s not like you’re coming to me as a 40 year old virgin and asking for advice (again no timeline but I’m not there yet so maybe not the right person to give it). Most of the people you’re hanging out with haven’t had a ton of sexual experience either lmao. On my 20th birthday I had been with exactly two people, my Angel boyfriend (in hindsight) hs ex and the Rabbi’s son (literally no one’s Angel boyfriend but hopefully he and his tiny dick are married now and Mazels if so) who I fucked a few days after we broke up to prove a point. I was a bad lay (and remain so with guys unless they’re into The Hiddles Experience, not for lack of opportunities, but because we don’t have to master all things). I also - unlike you - had never masturbated. I’d never had an orgasm. I liked sex with hs ex but couldn’t explain what I liked or why, it was just fun sometimes and other times it wasn’t. (In hindsight with clit action it was fun and with pure thrusting it wasn’t). So the fact that you have wanked already gives you a head start over many of the girls guys will be meeting.

So like… figure out what’s comfortable for you. Try different things out. Walk away when you don’t like it. Never do stuff that goes against your values. Don’t be overly shy in ways that wind up making you uncomfortable, like with the story that started this, and don’t expect these things to happen if you make no effort. That applies to friendships and ass alike. And sometimes what you think will be ass will turn into friendships and sometimes what you think will be friendship will turn into more. Let it. That’s what uni’s for.

Final point: try reduce the pressure of having a boyfriend. It’s fine if it happens, but since as you say you’re not a prude, it’s fine if it doesn’t. It will eventually. Try go into encounters with the open mindedness of “this could be ass, this could be friendship, this could be more” and like clear eyes full hearts can’t lose tbh.

Final final point: join societies. Join all the societies. The best way to both get ass and make friends and make friends discussing the ass you’re getting is by joining societies.

Good luck, hope this helped, love you lots and enjoy this year and the next (and beyond if you choose Honours or postgrad).

#agony aunat

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charmspoint · 4 years

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Top 5 characters that live in your head rent free 🤔

For this ask meme

Oh god ONLY five??? GOOD QUESTION. This is gonna be hard to both decide on and rank fairly uhoh lets see, this ranking his shifty as hell depending on what I’m into atm obvs

5. Tsurugi Kamiya from Servamp

Does he look like a knock off Izaya? Yes. Is he? Very much no.

Tsurugi is like my no 1 reason for getting back into Servamp, I left right in the middle of his arc and I ;-; IS HE OKAY??? DID HE GET AWAY FROM TOUMA??? DID HE BECOME WRATHS EVE??? NOBODY TELL ME I’LL FIND OUT ON MY OWN.

Servamp was one of those shows where I didn’t really have a fav main character for a good while until this guy showed up. This guy is an absolute crazy little monster I can’t overemphasize on this, his coat is used as a fucking straight jacket I’m not even kiddin

You get introduced to him and he’s scary and terrifying because he’s so strong, like he’s one of those strongest in the series characters and since he and the heroes are on semi opposing sides he is a serious threat. So you get introduced to this guy who seems borderline crazy and feral and then...you get to see him goofing off with his two boyfriends and their kid and it’s just

The domesticity!!!!Look at it!!!! It’s so fucking cute aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, they are so cute together OT3 of C3 ftw, MY SON. Like Tsurugi had a horribly abusive childhood and was basically raised like an attack dog and his previous partner :) well he do be trying to seriously kill him don’t he. But look! He found his own little family he can be semi normal in!! Until is torn apart by his abusive adoptive father figure :D!!! I ABANDONED HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT ARC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im sorry this got so long on this particular character none of the others will be so long i just miss him TSURUGI ILL CATCH UP FOR YOU!!!! Maybe he should have been no 1 hbjhbjh fucking sleeper agents am i right

4. Izaya Orihara from Durarara

Ah yes, the og queen bitch. Has my taste for villains ever recovered from Izaya? No. If your villain isn’t at least a bit like Izaya I’m not interested. Durarara was one of my first serious fandoms and Izaya was the first character I ever wrote for and I think you can explain me as a person if you consider Izaya was my all time fav at 13. I can’t really say anything about Izaya that hasn’t been said thousands of times before, I love how goofy and overperformative he can be, I love how there’s so much in him once you crack him open, I love how good of a villain he is for a messy story such as DRRR, puppeteer villains are really a league of their own. We need more puppeteering twinks, maybe then I’d be more into villains yaknow.

3. Hawks from Boku no Hero Academia

To no ones surprise!Him! I’ve been drifting off from BNHA recently what from catching bad case of JJK what from just reading n watching more other stuff and honestly that’s probably good because I’ve been into BNHA for a couple of years now as my main fandom and I really could have used a break. Not to say I don’t like BNHA anymore tbh I think right now BNHA is the best it’s ever been just ya know, drifting. That being said my love for Hawks will never die, god what a good boy and we got his backstory too aaa ;-;. BNHA was just like Servamp, something I liked but didn’t really have a fav character in until this random support character strolled in and won my heart. God I love how much we got on Hawks. He’s completely different from his initial impression and his unrelenting strive to do good despite being thrown from one horrible situation to the next is just ;-; HES SUCH A GOOD BOY. He’s selfless to a fault, literally putting everyone before himself and putting himself down for not being able to achieve more than is humanly possible I’m just ;-; I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY. He just makes my heart happy, he’s good and warm and hardworking and in a manga where trauma plays such a major role in so many characters it’s so good to see Hawks there, having been through three different types of hell and still coming out unnerving in his goodness. All I want for him is to have a good life and to one day be able to smile for real.

2. Gojo Satoru from Jujutsu Kaisen

Again no surprise since I’ve been so into jjk lately. Satoru is p high up rn cuz I’m mainly into JJK now but god knows where he will actually settle. He’s not even really my favorite character in the show, that goes to Inumaki, but this is a list of who I think about the most (tho all of these characters are either no 1 or no 2 for their shows) and boy my brother and foxy can tell you I’m constantly thinking about this bitch. I didn’t really care about him that much at the start but then I got to Hidden Inventory and OH BOY MUCH TO THINK ABOUT. Satoru is such a wonderfully complex character whos evolution you can clearly follow through the years. He’s under so much pressure as the strongest sorcerer to deal with everything and he has to operate in that system trying to change it for the better while at the same time trying to make sure his students arent sacrificed in the name of that change. He has a very goofy disposition but along side with Nanamin who’s a lot more explicit about it, it’s clear he cares about mental state of his students a whole lot. He knows this world is terrible and that the will come out of it with scars and that he can’t protect them from all of it, but he balances protecting and letting them grow as much as he can. They need to grow so jujutsu society can change after all, but they also need to be protected so they don’t fuckin die before that can happen. This is without all the many many opinions I have on Hidden Inventory and SatoSugu as a whole, how they influenced each other, how differently they reacted to their shared trauma (Funny how everyone on this list is fuckin traumatized) and what resulted from it. How their fucking love story is dramatic enough to be a Shakespeare play. Also I like it when he’s long and goofy ahahah

1. Chuuya Nakahara from Bungou Stray Dogs

Not to objectify men on main but I couldn’t choose a picture

If there is ever a day when I don’t go feral over Chuuya I’ll probably be dead. He not only lives in my head rent free he owns the place.

HES SO UNDERUSED.

BSD has such a great setup with Chuuya, like he’s ex partners with the mentor of the main character who got betrayed and abandoned when the mentor left shared evil organization. Sounds like grounds for drama right? YOUD THINK SO. Like Chuuya and Dazai have such a great and interesting dynamic and you can feel how strained it is from the distance and betrayal and they bicker and fight as their defining relationship trait BUT there is such a strong underlying trust to all the fighting. These two trust each other with their whole lives and that hasn’t changed despite everything, despite how much time has passed and how much that trust had been tested. So you’d think he’d be an important character :) HES STUCK IN SUPPORT HONESTLY HES STUCK IN BACKGROUND UNLESS HES NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING COOL AAAAAA. Chuuya is literally one of a kind, I’ve never seen a character with such a good design and such an cool power and such an interesting relationship to one of the main characters and such a love and support from the fandom BE SO UTERLLY AND COMPLETLY WASTED. Even when we get Chuuya scraps they rarely build on relationship he has in canon but just throw in new random ones at him (tho that’s a broader problem of Kafka throwing new characters at the plot instead of developing the one he already has really). We get a hint of a cool fight with him? Completely cut out, More often then not it just feels like he is benched because he’s so damn strong there would just be no plot tension if he went in and broke some heads (which is also a problem with Satoru, guys stop writing op characters if you’ll just put em on the bus aaa). Anyway he’s completly and utterly wasted by the plot.

And it’s such a waste because he’s such a good character. Like he’s a member if the villain organization and is obviously by that very vicious and violent but also so empathetic and kind to people he considers his friends. He and Dazai have the brawn and brain thing going on and stg Chuuya is like the only brawn I can think of that is classier then their brain. Look at how this guy dressed, he’s high class gay, hat, choker, coat, gloves, he is bringing in the looks. I love how he can actually be completely calm and rational and put together but then put him with Dazai and it’s back to ‘we are 15 and we will scream out heads off at each other’, they are so childish.

Anyway I love Chuuya he deserves to be treated better and I will never stop screaming about Chuuya ever

#anon #lucy rants #ask game #this one was the most fun so far aaa i like to geek out #sorry it took so long anon but i had lots of fun with it <3

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imaginesofeverykind · 4 years

Text

Uncharted: Forged [Re-Write]

y’all the Sam Drake feels are hitting HARD, im replaying all the games atm and I reread my old fic from 2017 and decided I love Melissa so much so we’ll give this a red hot crack! <3 xx Majority of the fic is the same, i’ve mainly updated wording and layout, but of course some lines and inner thoughts have been changed to add more to the fic if you’ve already read the original! <3

OC x Sam Drake

Summary: It always went without saying that where you found the Drake brothers, Melissa Bridges wasn't far behind. More correctly, wherever you found Samuel Drake; Melissa Bridges wasn't far behind. The pair were quite literally as thick as thieves, partners in crime, their very own Bonnie and Clyde. It was short lived between the two of them. Sam's death struck a chord with Melissa, what she chose to do with the grief is the question. Better yet, what does Melissa do when straight from the 'grave' fifteen years later she is reunited with the oldest Drake brother?

Warnings: Swearing(?) Dorky as fuck Sam Drake,

Word Count: somewhere in the high 2000’s

|PART 2| PART 3||

Samuel Morgan had a reputation. Not only exclusive to the Orphanage he grew up in, but also to the sister Orphanage several blocks away; Sister Margaret's. He caused fights, disrupted the peace and was caught doing illicit activities on the building grounds. But believe it or not; he never truly used to be as much of a delinquent. In fact, his behavioural changes can be traced back to ten months ago when he met Melissa Bridges. As innocent she may seem, her bad influence on Sam caused quite a turn of events in his life, some good, some bad, some ugly. But when it came down to it, Samuel and Melissa were always there for each other.

[1] Boston: A Bad Influence

Every day like clockwork, Samuel Morgan would peer out his window, looking beyond the gates of the Orphanage to catch a glimpse of her as she walked by. Her hands always seemingly shoved into a denim vest that looked miles too big for her as it covered what appeared to be a faded pink dress.

On the days he managed to see her while he was out in the courtyard, he spotted smaller nuances and details missed from afar. The boots she wore looked as though they had stopped fitting several years ago, long exceeding their lifespan judging by the soles flapping with every careless step she took. Her hair was always tied up neatly in a ponytail to gather her long dark locks.

Some days — he noted — she was accompanied by groups of girls. Most days she would stride on her lonesome but regardless, alone or not; every day at Midday, Melissa Bridges would pass by the Orphanage in a direction that didn’t quite add up.

It confused Sam, considering Sister Margaret's was in the opposite direction and there was evidently nothing in the direction she was headed. If he wasn't so chicken shit to do so, he would find a way out just to talk with her for even five minutes, maybe even a polite ‘hello’ or ‘how are you?’

He spent an embarrassing amount of time watching her, understanding her routine to the point he questioned if his motives were borderline criminal. His curiosity and infatuation with the mystery that shrouded the peculiar girl always kept him from pulling away from her. When he told himself; let it go for today, he’d catch himself looking out the window at just the right time, like it was a habitual instinct he somehow developed.

On weekends she would walk by not just at midday but once more, later in the evening between seven and nine. The few times he mustered up the courage to finally leave, he got as far as opening the window before deciding against it. Despite slight behavioural issues, he was top of the class, rarely did anything out of line despite the occasional fistfight between other boys in the home.

One night in particular, however, Sam decided he was finally going to do it. Go beyond the gates and finally speak to Melissa, a girl he only knew from the distant affections via observation. Did he know her name? No. Did he know anything about her? Aside from her being in an Orphanage, no. Did he know her eye colour? Not at all, but he would like to.

Despite knowing less than the bare minimum about her, his infatuation with curiosity constantly drove him to the brink of madness, urging himself to find the answers he sought out. He wanted to know why she would walk so braisingly confident, in clear sight of St. Francis undeterred by the Nun’s there and where she was heading that was apparently so important she ditched her classes. What was she doing at said place— if she was even going to a destination. Most importantly, he wanted to know how she managed to pull a fast one on the Nuns, knowing how their eagle eyed scrutinous gazes fell on the boys here.

His watch beeped, displaying the time as seven o’clock. It’s time, he thought to himself, taking a deep breath before opening the window. The frosty Saturday night breeze spilling into the room, the chill bite prickling his cheeks. The boys would be attending dinner in the hall at this time of night which is why he decided now was the time to make a break for it.

Sam had a clean record...ish... He had high hopes that in the event he was caught out, he would only merely get off with a warning and maybe forced to write some convoluted, meaningless essay.

He vaulted out of the window and dangled over the ledge, recollecting the plan he had rehearsed in the forefront of his mind. It wasn't a special night or anything, simply the night Sam decided to finally 'grow a pair' and talk to her, this marking the first night he even got as far as dangling out of the window.

Sucking in a breath, he released his tight grip from the ledge and dropped down a few feet, hitting the brick roof of the lower level. The loose brick slates cracked under the sudden strain, however, absorbing most of the sound which came as a pleasant surprise. His heartbeat quickened as he chuckled to himself, "I'm actually doing this," the thrill of potentially being caught hung in the back of his mind as he scaled the side of the building. Reaching the front chapel and administration block, he stopped momentarily, his arms burning from the sudden intense activity.

On the streets below — like every Friday and Saturday evening — Melissa walked along the dirty streets, keeping her head down and hands jammed into her pockets as she strayed in relative proximity to the street lights. Leaves crunched under her boots, accompanied by the sounds of the loose soles slapping the sidewalk. She hummed to herself a leisurely tune — having listened to the beastie boys most of the day — she rounded the familiar corner where Saint Francis Orphanage stood.

It was always much more peaceful to pass it in the evening given that similarly to Sister Margarets; Dinner was around this time.

This night, however, as she finally strode by the fenced-off Orphanage she couldn't shake the feeling of being followed. Something lingered behind her, more so, someone. She cursed under her breath, not wanting to turn to see the figure on the principle of merely acknowledging it. If she didn’t look, it wasn’t there right?

Many scenarios crossed her mind, perhaps it was a Nun that had followed her out of the Orphanage, they were always watching her like she was on the brink of committing a major felony. Nevermind that their concern wasn’t an underreaction by any means. But if it were a Nun, they’d have her by the ear and on their way back now.

It could perhaps be a drunken stray from the pub she passed a block ago, this occurrence was regular more often than not. Of course, in her experience, the drunkards were quite lovely and just wanted some quaint company on their journey home.

Or... it could definitely be someone not as kind as the drunken strays and not as merciful as the Nuns. That thought crossed her mind too, it often did. Being a young woman, regardless of looks and attire, she was on her lonesome which made her an incredibly vulnerable target.

Or so many people thought.

She was positive someone was tailing her, their footsteps would stop every time she did and would start back up again when she proceeded. Around the corner she rounded, there would be fewer street lights, instantly darkening the streets actively causing them to look far more menacing. This hadn’t deterred her, though, she was hardly bothered by a lot. But the prospect of someone snatching her up from the street was something that bore into her mind and chipped away the panic that simmered inside of her.

Stopping just shy of the safe glow emitting from under the streetlamp, she waited in anticipation, counting quietly to herself before whipping her hands out her pockets. In a swift motion, she spun around, connecting her fist with the lurking figure behind her in an impressively powerful sucker punch. They groaned, stumbling backwards into the light. "Oh shit," She uttered, apologetically after catching a glimpse of the person she punched. Just a kid from Saint Francis.

Despite being punched by her, Sam couldn't deny she was as attractive close up as she was at a distance. Being even prettier than he imagined her to be, glancing through his eyelashes to look at her bright green eyes, tanned skin and plump lips. He had seen a lot of girls in his time, but none that took to him quite like Melissa had.

Samuel Morgan had just been sucker-punched by a girl, that would be quite the story to tell his younger brother Nathan. He was stunned as he held the side of his face in a dazed state, did that actually just happen to him, or was it a dream? Both fortunately and unfortunately for his ego, yes indeed it did happen.

"Crap. I’m so sorry, my bad..." Melissa's face softened as she stepped slowly toward Sam, outstretching a hand to touch his shoulder comfortingly, "I thought you were following me." she stated, a panicked chuckle falling through her lips, the sound was music to his ears.

"Uh-uh, I mean... Yeah, I was — well no, not like that! I mean — just put me out of my misery and hit me again." He stumbled on his words making Melissa laugh, squeezing her hand on his shoulder, offering yet another apologetic smile at the welt forming on the side of his sun-kissed face.

She clicked her fingers once recognising his features in better detail, once the light hit it at the right angle, "you're uh, that kid from Saint Francis, yeah?" They hadn’t met prior but he looked so familiar to her, perhaps they had sat near each other when both Sister Margarets and St. Francis’ homes came together twice a month for communal mass.

He stood upright at her question. Having always imagined what it would be like to finally meet the strange girl surrounded by a unsolvable paradox, none of the scenarios he thought of began with her sucker punching him in the middle of the street. He caught his bottom lip in between his teeth to stifle the minor laugh, scratching the back of his neck nervously, "there's a lot of kids at Saint Francis you're gonna have to be more specific." His tone was laced with a hint of sarcasm, a trait he was blessed with after years of dealing with the Nuns dull and humourless personalities.

Melissa rolled her eyes subtly as a smile ghosted her lips, the way he spoke was seemingly more familiar to her. Then it hit her. She recalled the last communal mass just a little over a week ago where the boy was dragged away by the Nuns for misbehaving during silent prayer. His name passing their holy lips as if it was a curse word while they dealt with him.

"Uh... Samuel something, right?" She tilted her head on the side and shrugged, her memory wasn’t all that great but she did recollect thinking how amateur it was of him to get caught like that. The fact that he got caught at all was amateur in itself.

"Samuel something?" He repeated, a smile pulling on the sides of his lips as his heart fluttered. She knew him. After thinking for quite some time she had no idea who the hell he was, this was a revelation that couldn’t help but make him giddy. His grin appearing more genuine as the palms of his hands began to perspire.

With a nod and a smirk, she quirked her eyebrow at him, "you got kicked out of church last week, yeah? I know because I was thinking how funny it was that you got caught… Rookie mistake,” Her tone was purely in challenge of his efforts, he too recalled being whisked away by the Nun’s and forced to write an essay on something he’d long forgotten.

He mustered up a laugh, bashfully nodding. His mind fixated on the thought of him getting her attention completely unintentionally, but thankful that it happened in the first place. What did she think of me? Was the question that flooded his mind, almost like it was flashing in neon lighting to keep his attention on it. “Clearly we’re not all good at getting away with everything — or does that come naturally to only you?”

The minute the words left his lips, he regretted them. Overthinking the tone of his voice, cringing at how much more sarcastic and blunt it came across than intended. When she merely scoffed at him, he felt relieved that she quite clearly had more tolerance to sarcasm than he originally anticipated, taking up the opportunity to feebly point to himself, “I’m Uh… Sam, Sam Morgan.”

She clicked her fingers yet again, instantly recognising the name, “Samuel Morgan, that’s right… I know you — our history papers get graded together and I know for a fact that you almost got a higher mark than me." She raised her eyebrows, a mischievous smirk on her lips. She drew out the ‘almost’ as it taunted him with her acute sense of pride.

Sam looked at her, in awe almost. He spent many of his waking hours thinking about what she would be like, she was much more confident than he imagined and that factor alone seemed to make her all the more desirable. A history buff and confident, not to mention the way her frame was highlighted by the street lamp behind her made it look like she was otherworldly. He was convinced she was merely a figment of his imagination, but the bruising on his cheek and slight blood nose stated otherwise.

"You must know a thing or two about history to beat me," he chuckled, shifting awkwardly once he found himself staring at her for too long, this night was not panning out like he had planned or visualized. But he wouldn’t have it any other way.

"Only a little bit." She smiled, gesturing with her pointer finger and thumb, attempting to repair the boys already significantly damaged ego. Although she knew based off the report she snatched from one of the Nun’s offices; she had beat him by a landslide.

"What's your name, sorry?" Sam asked, clearing his throat. He ignored the proud smirk she wore as she kept her thoughts to herself, he knew she was a lot smarter than she admitted at the expense of keeping his hubris intact. The fact she hadn’t been caught sneaking out yet also lent itself to her sharp awareness and intelligence.

Melissa perked up, dismissively apologising as she gestured to herself, "Melissa, but you can call me Mel... Follow me, I know somewhere to get your face all cleaned up pretty boy — once again... Sorry."

Pretty boy. His gut twirled in a nauseating fleeting motion, something he hadn’t felt before but he knew it wasn’t a bad feeling. She waves her hand, indicating for him to follow her as she slinked into the darkness of the street they were on.

Sam was stunned— albeit, incredibly intrigued and infatuated with the idea of her. Eager to savour the rest of the evening in her presence, he shook his head but followed her, "So...." He trailed off, walking in sync beside her, "where are we going?" Was all he could think of, wanting to hit himself for asking such a basic question in comparison to the myriad of ones he kept stored away, why was he so mundane? "I uh... I watch you— I mean, I see you...sometimes walking past the Orphanage..."

Melissa looked to her odd new companion, a smile tugging on her lips. "You've never been outside the gates before have you?" Her smile gradually turning into a grin, everything about Sam screamed goody two shoes yet here he was, outside against the strict rules the Nuns abided by.

Sam frowned and put his hands up defensively, "Of course I've been outside the gates before—."

She cut him off, shaking her head, "no, I mean outside the gates without supervision and outside of curfew." Her eyebrows were raised as she waited to get an answer from her newfound friend, he merely shook his head coyly, her grin grew wider and she had a bounce in her step. "Well, pretty boy… when we get you cleaned up, are you ready to have the most fun you’ll ever have living in this shit hole?”

Sam thought for a moment, the nagging at the back of his head, the rules he was currently breaking would have severe consequences, but the rush and thrill of it all was so appealing. Melissa was appealing. And his insatiable need to fulfil his curiosity often always bettered his own moral compass. "Hell yeah." He commented enthused, kicking himself for being a little too enthused. She quickened her pace and motioned for Sam to pick up the pace as well.

Melissa was an addict, a thrill addict. Although she went to Sunday Church every week with the other Orphaned girls and went on bible retreats; it was a facade. She craved adventure, close encounters and thrill-seeking. On this particular night was the night Samuel Morgan's addiction to adventure had begun. Awakening that feeling deep within him, reminding him of the stories their mother would tell them before bed, the artefacts and trips they went on. He was aching to break free, and finally, he did.

And there was no turning back for him.

#samuel morgan #request #imagines #sam drake #u4 #uncharted #one shots #imagine #uncharted 4 #sam drake x oc #sam drake fanfiction #sam drake x reader #fanfiction #troy baker

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sunsetsover · 4 years

Note

give us a rundown of ur thoughts about tonight's ep it's what we deserve

this is cute bc my rambly ass thoughts very rarely make sense and are just me screaming into the void generally but if u want it who am i to deny u!!!! also im sorry i know i promised u this yesterday but i had Stuff going on but anyways we’re here now!!!!

ok firstable let me direct u towards this post bc i have not stopped thinking abt it for the past few days and i cba to type it all out again but... Yeah

and actually i think i have MORE to add bc i just cannot get over how young ben looked throughout the whole scene like!!! and not even just his face (even tho his face looked so young too) but his body language!!! sittin there on his knees with his hands between his thighs looking so emotional and YOUNG and vulnerable like its fuckin me up sm

esp the way ben looked at callum’s hand when he signed ‘ok’ i think it was a moment of clarity for ben like he’s finally realized that callum is committed he’s in it for the long haul he’s willing to adapt and has already started!!! i feel like in a way it was a call back to when ben asked callum to prove that he really did love ben and that was ben realizing that callum HAS been proving it this whole time

and there’s smth to be said abt the fact that he could only allow himself to BE that overtly vulnerable BECAUSE callum had his eyes closed. like you can see the moment callum opens his eyes and looks at him ben catches himself and tries to put his walls back up and move on like none of it ever happened !! bc he’s scared of vulnerability!!! in his life vulnerability has always meant pain!!! but he’s trying!!!! he’s getting there!!! slowly but surely!!!

and the fact that callum knew exactly what ben was doing and why he was doing it and didn’t let him!!! not in a forceful way it was just like look at me!!! it’s fine!!! you’re safe!!! i love you too!!!! which only overwhelmed ben MORE to the point where he didn’t know what to do but kiss callum like god!!!!!!!!! god

callum telling him he loved him in sign!!!! the fact that that means callum has been sitting there in his flat googling ‘how to say i love you in sign’ and watching youtube tutorials and practising his signs wow rip

and everything callum said to even get to that point !!!!!! literally every word out of his mouth !!!! the fact that he apologised and said he didn’t mean to make ben feel bad was so important!!! the fact that he told ben how strong he is!!! and how amazing he is!!! and how amazing it is that he’s handling everything going on atm!!!! and telling ben that phil isn’t anywhere NEAR as strong as ben is and that if he doesn’t want anything to do with ben then that’s HIS problem not ben’s like that’s all i’ve ever wanted ANYONE to tell ben !!! i’ve wanted ben to hear that for so long!!!! and the fact that it was callum telling him those things and in such a beautiful vulnerable moment and the fact that callum assures him that even if he doesn’t have his dad at his side callum is there!!!! and he will continue to be there!!! just fuck off im crying and im never going to stop

i know i said it in my other post but the fact that ben bought so many presents for callum’s birthday and got up in the middle of the night to wrap them and they’re all in different paper........... like once they get more in tune with each other’s love languages it’s over for us bitches

the fact!!!!!!! that ben telling callum he loves him!!!!!! put tears in callum’s eyes!!!!!! it made him want to cry!!!!! bc he knows!!!!! he knows it’s not an easy thing for ben and he knows ben means it and just!!!!!!!!! that has fucked me up sm u don’t even know

and just the absolute poetry in the fact that in that moment callum can’t see and ben can’t hear like they’re restricted and yet they’re communicating anyway and vikki summed it up way better than i ever could but there’s just this undercurrent of just like.... seeing and hearing each other properly and being honest even tho they CAN’T see/hear each other and whew it’s a lot

the way you can hear ben’s breath shaking as he kisses callum like he’s so overwhelmed!!!!!!!! my baby!!!!!!!!

literally i’m never ever going to be over the vulnerability and the love and the honesty in that moment

and the second scene!!! the way they were just laying there looking at each other!!!!!!!!!!! they were just laying in bed and staring at each other until the early hours in the morning like can u imagine being that in love w someone that u just wanna lay there and look at them?? wish i could relate

ben apologising to callum!!!!!!! was so important!!!!!! acknowledging that he’s been a prat !!!!! but then explaining it’s bc he doesn’t really know how to be vulnerable like can u believe it was just 2 scenes but we got so much #blessed

(also callum telling ben he hasn’t been a prat which he HAS but it was callum’s way of saying ‘i know, i get it, i understand, i forgive you’ all rolled into one bye)

the way ben stroked callum’s hair and face as he apologised....... the way callum literally just reached out and touched ben’s cheek bc he needed to touch him....... and the way ben leaned up into callum’s hand....... yeah.gif

callum firmly telling ben needs to learn sign language!!!! he get’s it and he forgives ben, BUT changes have to be made and one of those is ben learning sign language!!! and yeah ben goes to make a (probably rude) sign w his hands (and the way callum instantly reacts tells me that whatever he was gonna do, it wasn’t the first time lmao) but he doesn’t argue or resist he just accepts it which!!!! growth!!!

ben looking at callum like this goodbye

callum’s thoughtful gift!!!! a watch that vibrates!!!!!! best boyfriend in the world award goes to callum highway

the fact that ben was like WELL SEEING AS THO WE’RE GIVING GIFTS and let callum open one of his 15 presents :-(

‘officer highway breaking all the rules ay?’ does he ever stop

it’s just the way the whole bed scene was just so soft and intimate but still THEM u know w the banter and the teasing like it didnt feel ooc it just felt like them :-(

and last but by no means least: ben saying ‘we’ll make a mitchell of you yet’ and the way callum just smiled and looked at ben???? like he can’t quite believe it??? which mood bc i can’t either??? i’m literally gonna be in my grave thinking about it like i don’t know how im ever supposed to move on

ben is going to make a mitchell of callum one day they’re going to get married thank you and goodnight

#ballum #eastenders #im dead serious i've not stopped thinking abt callum mitchell since the ep aired #anon #question

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hwangdol · 5 years

Text

l.jn: just shoot your shot

summary: can jeno just be confident in himself? pls? pretty pls?

pairing: student-athlete!jeno x tutor! (fem) reader

warning: PROCEED WITH CAUTION! GRAMMAR MISTAKES! AND CRACKHEADS! ALSO CURSING! i’m back and i’m not dead so here’s some athlete!jeno that everyone was looking forward too. just a reminder, this is apart of my collab with @huangsren so check out her art-hoe! renjun and childhood-friend! chenle in our dreamies highschool au. i’m not really satisfied with this piece compared to my other two. hopefully, this still slaps. also, there will be for sure a second part to this so yuh. enjoy.

okay so let’s get this straight lee jeno is THAT guy whose in like all of the sports teams on campus

basketball, baseball, football, soccer, track and field, cross country, pickleball, etc he’s on them all

he was deadass about to join the cheerleading team just so he could have the clout of being on all of the teams

ngl imagine a cheerleader!jeno,,,hell yeah that’s my shit

but he didn’t bc he isn’t as big of a crackhead as one like to think

jeno has the reputation of the silent cold guy, but in actuality is a big FLOOF ball especially with his close friends (aka jaemin)

he’s well-liked by everyone bc he’s hecka nice once they look pass that cold exterior and he’s realllly hot.

just picture sweaty!jeno after practice using his shirt to wipe off his sweat allowing everyone to have a glimpse of his abs.

sign me the fuck up

he’s just extremely shy and socially awkward so he doesn’t really know how to interact w people when he meets them for the first time so a lot of people just think he’s that distant, angsty type

it still shocks a shit ton of people when they find out he’s best friends with the social butterfly/ fboi! jaemin but don’t get him wrong bc he doesn’t go around town breaking hearts left and right like his best buddy does

as much as jeno likes to deny it, he is a ROMANTICIST

way back in freshmen year, jeno was captivated by a teenage romance which he blames ara (from fucq-boi! jaemin au) for roping him into all those barbies and chick-flick movies.

like his heart flutters at the idea of his significant other wearing his jersey to his games or sharing a milkshake at the local ice cream parlor,,,he wants to give them his hoodie and cuddle on the couch (hopefully watching barbie princess charm school)

BABY BOY JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED !

but he doesn’t want it to be superficial like what jaemin does

he highly disapproves of jaemin’s casanova ways

jaemin is probably really glad about the bros before hoes rule bc he would have lost jeno a long time ago with all of the girls he goes through

jeno knows that love is a delicate thing and should be treated seriously which is why he’s so against jaemin’s date and ditch

and jeno wants to be in a relationship! but he can’t bc he has like NO time for the lovey-dovey highschool bs (also bc he’s highkey scared that he might ruin any relationship he gets himself into)

the boy has back to back practice from all the sports he decided to take on

on multiple occasions, different practice times interfere with each other and instead of just missing one like he SHOULD, jeno decided to take em both on at the same time

catch him sprinting from the soccer field to the football field back and forth in between break times

one time, basketball and swimming practice collided w each other so jeno thought it was smart to go back and forth from the school’s pool to the gym after he’d finish a 1000M IM set and shot at least 15 3-pointers

let’s just say he flashed a lot of people, running half-naked with only his drag suit on when he forgot to put on his sweatpants in one of his runs back and forth

art-hoe! renjun never lets him live it down much to his embarrassment

“remember that one-time jeno displayed his junk to the whole student body? good times, good times”

cue jeno throwing a pencil at renjun or chasing him down the halls

jeno’s abs were the talk of the school for at least a whole month and our boi had red cheeks every time he heard someone talk about it

because of that jeno double-checks, quadruple-checks to make sure that his pants are on before booking it to the gym to shoot hoops

ALSO

another reason why a lot of people find jeno so intimidating and hard to approach was bc of the fight that happened between his ex-friend! stoner-boi!haechan sophomore year

no one expected that the calm, seemingly unbothered jeno could throw punches that hard. it was like he transformed into the hulk or something

except jeno didn’t like the new reputation he gained over a stupid fight with his once close friend.

there’s one nasty habit that jeno can’t seem to let go of no matter how much jaemin and renjun tell him to fix

the boy holds onto grudges like there’s no tomorrow

there was one time where jaemin had to borrow jeno’s phone for something and he accidentally dropped it

“hey can i borrow your phone to call someone? mine’s dead.” jaemin asked him.

“no, last time i gave it to you, you cracked it”

“dude! it was one time”

“say that to my cracked screen”

“for goodness sake, jeno, i only cracked your screen protector!”

“still you broke it”

yeah, jaemin never got to use jeno’s phone ever again.

someone didn’t give back the pencil he lent them? he doesn’t even look in their direction until jaemin nags him enough to just let it go

which is probably why he and haechan still vehemently hate each other even though renjun and jaemin are ready to go talk things out with haechan

some part deep down insides knows he should just let it go and actually talk things out with haechan on why he initiated the fight bc haechan was once someone jeno considered as a bro

and jeno doesn’t give out bro passes as easily

he just doesn’t know how to approach haechan or if haechan would even be willing to talk it through

it’s kinda sad how the two of them don’t even look each other in the eye or acknowledged each other existence anymore

other than that jeno is practically flawless, jk

as much as he is very enthusiastic in physical education, when it comes to math, science, etc, jeno is basically flunking. like borderline passing in all of his classes

he was for sure failing math though which is a HUGE problem…bc to stay on any team sport, he CAN’T be failing a class

which is why jeno was currently spending his free period, in the library, furiously erasing his wrong answer for the problem he tried multiple times to solve. it was the first math problem on the remedial work packet that his math teacher gave him for extra practice.

even his friend, smartass renjun gave up on helping him and went to go toy around with his telescope, going on a tangent about renjun’s alien conspiracies theories.

if only jeno could have renjun’s genius brain, life would be so much easier

slamming his head on the table, jeno let out a low groan of frustration at whoever decided that it was a good idea to mix number and letters together.

“dude, can you not?” he heard someone say from next to him.

he lifted his head to take a peek…and this is where you come in, glaring at him with murder on your mind

jeno’s just staring at you and the fool does not recognize you at all

NCT High isn’t a big place either so he would have come across you once or twice, but you were simply a new face to him.

you, at this point, grew annoyed at the boy who was just shameless staring at you.

“is there something on my face?” you asked with a raised eyebrow

slowly he shakes his head ‘no’

“keep it down, i’m trying to sleep” you warned him before laying your arms now with your head resting on it, faced away from jeno.

jeno, who was awe-struck for second at your frank personality, decided that it was time to have another go at the problem and looked at it again

yeah there was no way in hell he was going to be able to solve it, he was too fucking lost

atm jeno is like .000000001 seconds away from having a mental breakdown because if he doesn’t pass his test this friday he’s going to be benched and if he fails the class then he loses his status of team captain and his spot on the soccer team which he cannot afford to bc it was SENIOR year and he should be living in all of his sports glory right now

and what if he can’t graduate? he can’t be a super senior like lucas wong like nooo that can definitely not happen

literally, jeno, stop freaking out - sincerely admin minnie

suddenly while he was having an overthinking session, his paper and pencil were taken away from him. he watches as the culprit (you) quickly solve the problems on the piece of paper in record time with wide eyes

letting out a small huff, you gave him back the paper wordlessly before going back to your previous sleeping positions hoping to get back to your precious nap time. your actions leaving jeno’s mouth opened in awe as his eyes glances back and forth between the answer sheets and the ones you provided him, both matching up perfectly with no mistake

he looks back at your sleeping form and wonders if you’re an actual prodigy like renjun

but jeno also feels really bad for disturbing your nap so he lets you be and tries to quietly work on the other problems and review how you solved the ones he had trouble on earlier

except he’s even more confused bc there was more numbers and letters;; no comprendo

jeno’s brain: ajadkf;dskjhg;ajdsvf;

he contemplates ask you for help or a basic explanation since there was no way that jeno learned how to solve that in class (he did, he just slept through the lecture because he was dead-beat tired after a heavy soccer practice from the night before)

jeno’s fear of flunking overweighed his social awkwardness so he pokes you gently with his pencil eliciting a grumpy “what do you want, now?” from you

gulping, jeno mumbles a small “can you help me, i don’t understand how you solved this”

you looked intently at jeno not answering his questions causing the boy to instantly regret asking, but surprisingly you replied

“what don’t you get?” you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and shifted towards the male

“i don’t even know what i don’t know”

i felt that jeno. i felt that.

he pulls the piece of paper between the two of you and points to a problem that you did with ease

“oh, so you’re so supposed to…” you launched off into an explanation filled with math terms that adds more to jeno’s confusion

sensing that jeno still wasn’t understanding, you let out a big sigh

“sorry, it just doesn’t make sense in my head” jeno admitted shyly

at first, you were gonna say something snappy about how even an eighth-grader could do this problem easily, you held it back because you actually felt bad since jeno was trying so hard

you also weren’t going to deny that lw jeno looked quite cute with that adorable slight pout on his face

“let’s just take it slow, i’ll explain step by step”

so you did just that, patiently teaching the methods and theorems to jeno who constantly made that confused noise every time you introduced something new to the table

the two of you worked through five of the worksheets and jeno was actually understanding it! horray!

you were explaining the last problem to jeno when he stops you with a question that was completely off-topic

“why are you helping me?”

it was simple question so you answered it simply.

“because you looked like you need it.” you shrugged “i was trying to take a nap earlier but it was too loud for me with your constant erasing”

“sorry” jeno said looking down at his lap, embarrassed that he was a nuisance to you

you kind felt bad ngl so you quickly reassured him

“don’t worry about it. you remind me of my idiotic friends, not that you’re an idiot though. actually, no comment.”

we love a blunt y/n.

you clicked the pen you were holding and placed it down, “i moved here a couple months ago so i barely know anyone. now that it’s senior year, everyone already has their own friend group so why bother trying to join them?”

jeno makes another confused noised at your blunt statement.

you wondered if that particular noise has some type of effect on you due to the fact that you have a sudden urge to explain your situation to the boy you hardly knew for more than the hour

“i used to go to miroh high, but my dad got a transfer here so he decided to enroll me at this school without my say. i left all my friends back there sadly”

“that sucks,” was all that jeno could say.

damn his inability to socialize like a normal human being.

you nodded, “yeah, it does, but it’s not that bad. my friends make an effort to come down here most weekend and sometimes i drive up there too.” you turn to look at him and jeno freezes at the sudden eye contact “actually, you remind me of my friend hyunjin. he was kind of a ditz in anything that wasn’t sports”

“wait, how do you know that i play sports?” jeno asked confused

“dude, everyone knows that you’re the school’s mvp.” you said as if it’s obvious “you’re not as intimidating as they say you are though.”

damn it

he was hoping you had no idea who he was so that could relieve his guilt of not knowing who you were despite being in the same graduating class.

at the same time, he was glad that he seemed to have made a good impression on you

“don’t worry, i won’t spill your little secret” you gestured to the worksheets which had red pen markings all over it, signs of jeno’s failures. you figured that the school’s star jock didn’t want the school knowing his inability to solve basic 12th-grade math problem

you reached under the table to grab your backpack, causing jeno to reach a hand out to grasp your wrist

“wait, where are you going?”

a part of him was afraid that he was going to forget everything you taught him once you left, but the other part was extremely curious about you and wanted to know more

“i have somewhere to go?” you looked down at his hand and back up at him “you have something else you want to say?”

sensing that his grip was making you feel uncomfortable, he quickly pulled his hand away. rubbing the back of his neck. he avoids your eyes, opting to stare at your feet instead.

“this might be a little weird, but can you please tutor me? at least until next week when i have to take my make-or-break test.” jeno plead, embarrassment rushed to his cheeks in the form of a red blush when he realized how desperate he sounded.

you let out a tiny giggle, totally different from your persona earlier.

you took his pencil that was laying on the table to scribble something on the corner of his worksheet. patting his shoulder, you quickly left the boy staring at the piece of paper.

don’t get confused (127) 312-0325 :)

a stupid smile made it’s way onto jeno’s lips as he quickly packed up his things in haste. he practically skips to soccer practice. maybe he even heel-clicked.

lee jeno is not failing math!

cute tutor acquired!

woohoo!

but also, there’s this weird tingly feeling that jeno has inside.

he doesn’t know what exactly it was but most likely it’s probably the reason why he was a goofy-ass smile on his face

“dude, are you okay?” one of his teammates ask after he gets hits in the head with a soccer ball

jeno, not even fazed by it one bit, just smiles and gives his teammates a big thumbs up

“coach, i think there’s something wrong with jeno!”

anyways, that night he’s extremely excited to text you.

imagine jeno on his bed, laying on his stomach feet up in the air, taking at least an hour to construct a response that doesn’t make him seem lame or a fifty-year-old man like all of his friends say he texts like

jeno is probably the type of person that texts, with all the correct capitalization and actual punction plus awkward spacing and usage of emojis

this time he tried to be chill about it

jeno: hey, it’s me, jeno. sorry for bothering you this late at night, but i don’t understand this problem. can you help me pls?

sent.

now jeno was currently awaiting your response….however, you don’t reply right away like jeno for some reason expects

he takes the waiting time to scroll through his social media and it’s the usual things he sees every day

he sees the juniors’ chenle and his weird little friend talking about some sort of prank they’re going to pull, jaemin’s spam post on how he was stuck making prom decorations to fulfill his community service requirements, etc

however, a sudden post from @/luccasss caught his attention

especially the girl sitting on top of an old blue car with the senior, middle fingers up

his eyes glance at the caption quickly

me and my main bitch fucking it up (pc to our little kiddo)

wait a minute.

jeno could remember you saying how you didn’t bother making friends w anyone, so what are you doing with the lucas wong?

now lucas wong doesn’t have that great of a reputation around campus, especially since he was a held back his senior year. he blows off class and jeno has heard that he’s in cahoots with the stoners on campus too

your account is tagged in the picture and luckily it’s on public, so jeno could secretly and shamefully stalk your page

while looking through your photos, jeno realizes that he really doesn’t know anything about…. you

tbh he didn’t even know your name until he saw your bio and username. (facepalm @ jeno)

scrolling through your photos, he saw you posing with other boys and girls that he didn’t recognize making him assume that they were your friends from your old school

his fingers land on a picture where you’re kissing a cheek of ridiculously good looking guy. checking the tag, he sees that it’s a guy whose username was something along the lines of cb_97

imma miss my ddy chan <3!! owo

as he scrolling through the chan guy’s instagram, jeno becomes more dejected bc maybe he was too deep in his imagination that he got from watching too many dramas with ara

letting out a sad sigh, jeno clicks his phone off and settles into bed. the more he thinks about it the more he feels insignificant to you which he was.

for all he knows, he’s just a random kid in the library that you helped with a few math problems

the next day, jeno walks into school with no pep in his step :(

and as his certified besties, jaemin and renjun drag him into an empty classroom during lunch prying him to confess what’s got him down in the dumps

and jeno knows he can’t hide anything from his besties so he just lets it all out

jaemin, taking a long blink after his bff’s rant to process the newly acquired tea “wow, bro. you got the feels”

“exactly,” jeno groans “i only talked to her once! she doesn’t even know me!”

“she knows you suck at math,” renjun points out

and jeno threatens to throw a chair at his friend, but jaemin quickly stops him

“okay, how about you just take it slow? like get to know her and let her get to know you. it could be that you’re just overthinking her kindness for helping you when you were desperate. appreciation is different from admiration” ngl jaemin was kinda-sorta right

“btw, who is this chick anyway? you haven’t told us who it was” renjun asked, sitting on one of the empty desks

“y/n, she transferred a couple months ago from miroh”

renjun abruptly jumps to his feet, “the y/n l/n? the new math teacher’ daughter?”

“you know her?” jeno quirks an eyebrow

“dude she’s in my ap calculus class and she has the highest grade, but she never shows up to class,” renjun tells him. “she’s a straight, badass genius”

jeno feels stupider as renjun continues to list all of your achievements and the art boy makes it seem like all of them were done effortlessly.

how stupid was he in your eyes when he couldn’t solve regular senior math problems while you were out here solving college-based ones?

now you seem like a person farther and father away from him.

jaemin, his good-ol-buddy knows that jeno is over-analyzing the new information renjun was telling him, and he tries his best to hype is buddy up

“c’mon, you might not be a genius at math but you certainly are on any field, pool, and court. have some confidence!”

deep down jeno knows that he should listen to his friend and that he should just be more confident in himself, but he can’t shake his feeling of insecurity and doubt

so the next time he sees you laying on the empty table in the non-fiction section sleeping, he’s a bit more reluctant to approach you. instead, he quietly sits in the seat next to you as he pulls out his practice sheets to work and miserably fail on

except you don’t wake up for a looong time until jeno accidentally sneezes too loud, causing you to awaken

opening your eyes, you see the boy look at you with wide eyes as if he’s done something terribly wrong by waking you up

“why do you look like i’m about to kill you or something?” you giggled watching as the boy in front of you became very flustered “why didn’t you wake me up when you came here?”

“oh, you look like you were in deep sleep, so i didn’t want to wake you up”

you stretched your arms out, one hand over your mouth as you let out an inaudible yawn, “don’t worry about it. i’m always sleeping”

you blamed all of your fatigue on lucas as it was his fault that you were tired out of your mind from the little night adventure he roped both you and a junior named eun (y/n from childhood-friend!chenle’s au) into.

honestly, if it weren’t for lucas’s annoying ass laugh waking you up from your nap that one day, you probably wouldn’t have befriended the big bumbling bafoon.

“yeah, but apparently i’m failing the twelfth-grade again bc i’m not allowed to just go to homeroom and p.e. i mean, who wants to learn about FUNCTIONS when you could just be looking up memes in the library?!?” - lucas wong, 2019

despite lucas’s overwhelming personality, you were quite thankful to have him as he reminded you of your old friends back at miroh, it was nice.

eun was a soft-spoken child that often had to turn to you or lucas (which wasn’t always a good idea) for advice that you both were happy to give to the underclassmen.

personally, you didn’t care that you only had like two friends, quality over quantity right?

“earth to jeno?” you waved your hand in front of his face as he stayed unresponsive

he mumbles something inaudible and points at a problem

your eyes gloss over it taking in the problem, before quickly grabbing a pen and solving it. you spoke slowly as you explained the step-by-step solution that jeno had to do.

when you look back at jeno to make sure that he was understanding the content, you noticed how the jock is off in his own universe and not paying attention to you.

“please don’t make me repeat that again,” you sigh, catching jeno’s attention. you capped the pen and lightly tossed it on the table, proceeding to stretch out your hands above your head.

“sorry”

“what’s up with you?” you asked, wondering why the boy who seemed desperate for your help yesterday, was now acting like he could care less. “and don’t give me that stupid, generic “nothing” bullshit.”

“sorry, football was tough last night,” jeno said quietly, focusing on the problem.

despite not being involved in the school festivities, you knew that it was well past football season. and that meant that jeno was lying to you.

there was a slight pang of disappointment, but you pushed it aside. what were you expecting anyway? he probably only saw you as a tutor.

you weren’t even his friend for fuck’s sake

“let’s move onto the next problem” you say, quickly changing the subject.

honestly, the two of you were fucking idiots. smh

despite there being awkward tension between the two of you, you’re tutoring was actually very very helpful for jeno. he could actually understand what was going on in math class now.

remember that test he had to take to ensure that he could play for his soccer match? jeno passed that with flying colors thanks to your careful explanations

even after that test, the two of you kept your tutoring arrangement;;;and maybe jeno was falling even harder for you.

he couldn’t help it though! the way you run your fingers through your hair or the way you puff out your cheeks when you’re trying to think of a way to explain something to jeno just makes leaves him star-struck. and every time he gets a problem right without your help, the proud smile that you give him makes his heart leap

it wasn’t like you were safe from the love bug either!!

lee jeno was hard not to like and he was even harder to not fall for.

the little cute noises that he makes when he’s lost, the way his eyes go wide when he finally understands the problem, and the eye-smile he gives you when he gets a problem right.

your heart literally went uwu when jeno offered you his hoodie bc the two of you were sitting underneath the ac vent and you were shivering.

when you tried to give it back to him, he just shook his head and said “keep it, just in case you get cold”

lee jeno was not healthy for your heart. uwu hours 24/7

but the two of you were stuck in this weird relationship bc the two of you weren’t exactly friends, but also not strictly tutoring. you would share laughs here and there, but then quickly it would dial down and returned back to the math problems

some times when he was texting you, he would send a cute gif to show you that he understood and sometimes you would tell him about something funny/stupid lucas+eun or your other friends did.

“just ask him out,” lucas tells you bluntly as the both of you chilled on the bleachers during lunch.

“hard pass”

“fine, then i’ll do it.” lucas shrugs, eliciting a hard smack from you

“don’t embarrass me, you asstwat”

“who said i was asking him out for you? that boy is a fine piece of meat”

“istg, lucas, i’ll actually gouge your eyes out” you deadpanned.

but big ol’ oaf lucas doesn't see you as an actual threat. and he reaches out to grab your cheeks causing your face to form into a fish pout

“can you even reach me?” he teases, shaking around your face

and this the part where you’re pulling lucas into a headlock, oblivious to the fact that jeno was watching your toughy actions from afar

he kicked the soccer ball angrily into the goal causing jaemin to duck with a small shriek to avoid getting his head decapitated by jeno’s fastball

“dude wtf!” jaemin shouts

“sorry,” jeno mutters.

jaemin looks over to where jeno was staring at and saw you and lucas being really handsy with each other. from that distance that the two boys were looking it, it didn’t look like the roughhousing the two of you were actually doing

you pulling his hair to them looked like you were playing around with it

jaemin’s buddy jeno be looking like a kicked puppy rn, muttering under his breath about his shortcommings

jaemin is bout ready to slap him upside down the head for having no confidence or whateves

“can you stop talking shit about my bestfriend now?” jaemin @ jeno but the boy is on a whole ass rant on why he sucks in comparison to lucas

“of course she doesn’t like me. she has a whole lucas wong and he’s 6′0 ft of handsomeness. he’s fun and exciting, i’m staler than a moldy piece of bread!”

can jeno just love himself??????? is that to much to ask?

“i’ll just never be good enough for her. i’m not her type, she can do better than me.”

cue jaemin intense internal screaming

one day, jeno was going to your usual sitting spot in the library when he sees lucas chilling with eun—a girl that he’s seen around with his friend chenle. they were both laughing at something on lucas’s phone.

jeno looks at the sight confused. cause like aren’t you and lucas a thing? like why was this boy looking really chummy with this underclassmen?

so jeno clears his throat to catch their attention and both of them look at him like “who tf are you?”

“where’s y/n? she’s suppose to be tutoring me” jeno says

a look of recognition flashes across lucas’s and eun’s at the sound of y/ns name. the younger female whispers something to the senior causing him to clap his hands.

“oh so you’re, jeno??” lucas says in this voice

and jeno awkwardly nods

“yeah, y/n is skipping school today so she told me to tell you to look over the notes she wrote out for you” lucas pulled out a notebook and handed it to jeno

jeno flips through it carefully, examining the words you wrote in your familiar handwriting; there was also a highlight code system and little side comments to help him

“thanks” jeno about to leave but lucas’s next comments stop him

“you’re lucky that y/n likes you enough to do that for you. she wouldn’t even tell me whats 4x4 when i asked her” lucas slumped into his seat

“that because she thinks you have chronic stupidity” the underclassmen said, giggling

“aren’t you suppose to be on my side you little pipsqueak” lucas says jokily, rubbing her head.

and jeno is watching the exchange, getting more and more confused

did y/n know that lucas was hanging out w another girl without you?

“did you need something else, jeno?” eun asked him

jeno is about to say no, but different words left his mouth

“aren’t you dating y/n, lucas?”

there was a silence that lasted for a good minute, both lucas and the underclassmen giving jeno a blank stare….

until lucas bust out into ugly laughter, bent over his seat delirious and eun was also laughing along but not to the same degree.

was it really that funny? jeno be staying confused

it wasn’t until the librarian came to shush the two did they stop laughing

lucas wiped away tears of laughter from his eyes “that was a good one!”

“what do you mean?” jeno asked

“pffft eun would rather date a rabid animal than me,” lucas said “she’s only friends w me bc i forced her to be”

oh! that was news to jeno

“besides, lucas isn't y/n’s type” eun revealed, shocking jeno

oh really now?

“yeah, you fit her type really well,” lucas stated nonchalantly.

eun is like BRUH WHY WOULD YOU REVEAL THAT but doesn’t say anything and kicks lucas underneath the table. she could already picture the pure anger once her friend found out that lucas spilled her secret crush that easily.

robot jeno is just standing there holding the notebook and deep in thought.

“is he okay?” lucas whispers, looking up and down at jeno. eun shrugs in response

bOOM jeno zoom zooms away and the two high schoolers shrug at the jocks before returning to looking at dank memes

jeno basically charges down to the only female he’s friends with for advice, ara. (go read my fucqboi! jaemin for the backstory!)

conveniently, he finds both his jaemin and ara standing at her locker talking. tbh it looked more like jaemin trying to flirt with ara and her ignoring him.

but right now his friend’s girl problems were the least of jeno’s concerns!

so jeno basically hulk yanks jaemin away from ara and has the most serious expression on his face “i need your help, ara”

“huh?”

and he drags ara off to a more secluded place to explain his current situation to, ignoring jaemin’s whines

“to be honest with you, i think you need to have more confidence. now that you know that she isn't interested in lucas, why don’t you just take the initiative to confess?” ara says once jeno explained to her every juicy detail of his hopeless love story.

“because i don’t think that she likes me. there’s nothing special about me. the only things i’m good at are sports and that’s not very interesting!” jeno exclaims “she probably thinks i’m an actual idiot!”

“jeno, listen, i’m only going to say this once, but please please understand that you’re a very special person, okay? you’re extremely hard-working, nice, and honestly very fun to be around. it would take a fool to not like you, lee jeno.” ara sighed, patting her friend’s shoulder “just shoot your shot. if it doesn’t make it in, it’s okay.”

but jeno doesn’t like leaving things to chance. he wants to be sure and he hates uncertainty.

“when you’re competing or playing against someone, you have no idea how the whole game is going to pan out. all you know to do is to try your best and go all out to ensure the very best result so that you can win. liking someone is like that, you just have to go forward and hopefully, you’ll be able to score a home run or a touchdown.”

that was sum deep shit

after listening carefully to ara’s words, jeno came to a conclusion

maybe

just maybe

jeno will take a chance.

reaching into his pocket, he pulls out his phone and sends a text.

jeno: can you meet me at neo ice cream later? i have something important to tell you.

y/n: yeah ofc. i’ll see you at 4

he had soccer practice today and for the very first time, jeno was skipping practice, his favorite time. the only time where he’s ever fully confident in his abilities, where his stupid insecurities can’t get to him.

this was more important the temporary self-gratification that jeno gets when he’s able to fly through practice with ease

lee jeno was taking a leap, unsure of where he’ll fall.

today, he’ll shoot his shot. and hopefully, you’ll catch.

1K notes · View notes

caandlelit · 5 years

Note

hqb has been trolling us from the start, sticking pictures of oikawas face but not delivering on the seijou chapter this is like queerbaiting i am actually angry

i also got another ask for matsuhana and listen, to both of u and every other matsuhana stan, ive got you. cant believe people got tired of them what do you mean theyre not in the manga anymore shut up and love them

theyve respectively worked so hard to look like slackers and they are

theyre so lazy neither of them have any of their shit together before coffee

hanamaki takes it 'black like my fuckin soul' and matsukawa takes it "like i take my men. sweet as fuck-no ow fuck stop-stop hiTTING ME-"

no one has complained as loud and as full of energy as makki about oikawa forcing early practices

watari, barely breathing: h-hows he even,,,,,,got the fuggin energy,,,to yell as l o u d as that,,,,what is he an animal

makki is lazy as fuck because he doesnt see the fucking point but he is still the most energetic

like iwa will be on the floor and makki will be dragging his feet forward because once he starts hes determined

hes shouting filthy curses at oikawa while doing receives but matsukawa grabs him weakly and pulls himself up to his full height only to drop onto him heavy as fuck

"oW shIT issei what the fUCK"

and doesnt even bother whispering when he says that he'll 'suck you off if you shut the fuck up'

their perfect day is lying in bed together for hours, getting up eventually to brush their teeth and then pancakes, and then netflix and more lazing about and fucking, baking cookies at three am because they cant sleep because they slept all day

theyre spontaneous!! its cute

dates happen on the spot, no planning unless matsuns in a mood and wants to romance makki

but matsukawa in a suit just makes makki's brain stop working and tbh half of the wooing is just the suit

"omg you didnt have to do all this,, hey turn around i wanna see the suit from the back- hOLY SHIT,,,wh,,,your baCK and sh-shoulders,,,,,,fuck,,,,,that flat ass-"

'heY-'

speaking of matsukawa is a saP

you'll hear me shouting this from the rooftops right next to one hanamaki takahiro

"he's actually a romantic its tragic i thought he was a badass fuckboy who rides a motorbike but nope im stuck with someone who feels the need to kiss me goodmorning and text me goodnight-"

"oh fuck oFF you'd cry if i didnt at this point you loser"

'alright stop then i dont care'

"nah you love me. and thats why i wont stop. because i love you too"

'... thERE HE GOES AGAIN, SAPPING THE PLACE UP, WHAT A LOSER'

"yOU CANT HIDE THAT BLUSH FROM ME BABY-"

so they are stupidly domesticated and also very very clingy they are That Couple™

they have a couples instagram and everything

oikawa got jealous and refused to speak to anyone

and then he made an instagram for his dog and matsukawa lost his shit

"babe please lets get a dog please holy shit imagine the likES BABY DO IT FOR THE LIKES

""issei what the fuck we're not married yet we cant have a dog together get a hold of yourself be a man and get through this-"

"...i heard that yet you cant steamroll on i wont let you"

"what are you talking about lmao go away issei,,w-what do you mean i didnt say-"

"ill get on my knees right now. ill even ignore the fact that you said the word 'lmao' out loud"

'whats the catch'

"........just,,,,,,,,,,please lets get a corgi-"

theyre both stubborn but they never fight ever

theyve had onE big fight and it was over a misunderstanding and it was terribly minor and because they were both stressed

they yelled and oikawa and iwaizumi had to pull them away and neither if them spoke for the whole day

and they felt so so bad

neither of them could sleep

matsukawa decided to run all the way to hanamakis house

five streets away but, a truly horrible, dramatic, stupid decision

makki couldnt yell at him for it

because he stopped a few blocks to his house and stared

there he was in all his sweatpants and bubblegum pink bedhead glory

makki was standing there with wide eyes, panting like he'd also been running

matsukawa, dazedly: you hate running

hanamaki, winded as fuck: what the,,,what the fuck,,,,,what kind of

romcom bullshit- holy shit-

theyre walking towards each other and start talking at the same time

"issei you stop right there you fucker dont you dare-"

"technically im more sorry because i started running earlier-"

"-no shut up thats just your long legs im so sorry-"

"-fuck naw you cant have this im the sappy one right let me have my grand romantic gesture goddammit i love you-"

'-issei you'll stop and let me apologize tearily and cry and ask if i can make it up to you with sex if you know whats good for you please i felt so shitty-'

"- that sounds hot as fuck and i love you, im so in love with you, i love everything about you-mMPH"

queue hanamaki stepping forward and leaning up to cup his face in both hands and kissing him quiet

matsukawa fondly recalls it as 'literally the most romantic thing he's done'

hanamaki fondly recalls it as 'the most teary sex i've ever had, jesus christ we were a mess'

ive got more but i dont have it in me to write it out atm ill be back tho

#thankyou for this ask and the other one #sorry its late!!#ask #anon #matsuhana #matsukawa issei #hanamaki takahiro #haikyuu #hq #hanamatsu #hc #hcs

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kotofvi · 4 years

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THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Leo Age: 27 Contact: IM, Inbox, Disco

Character(s) I rp: Canon: Shiro, Sebastian, Dirk, Kyoya, Kurama, Nelliel, Maka, Dwicky. OCs: Hades, Google, Emogene, Dominic, Seirios, Iso, Felix, Reeves, Nyx, Zeru, Ren, Charlie, Dakota, Nemo, Bluejay, Koko, BD, Raven, Cora, Sammie, Lucie, Poppie, Ollie, Alphie, Bambi, Abbigail, Hiraeth, Bonnie, Rei, Rory. Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Nelliel, Shiro, Rei, Bonnie, Hiraeth. Current Fandom(s): Bleach, V/LD, Naruto. (I’m not deeply involved in the fandoms themselves anymore.) Fandom(s) you have an AU for: Uhhhhh.. I basically have an AU for any fandom if I know it well and am asked for it. My language(s): English. (I’m learning other languages but I don’t RP in them unless it’s just a sentence or two.) Themes I’m interested in for rp: Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: Modern, Mythology, Medieval.

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. (I legit love all lengths, tbh, it’s more so with one-liners I tend to lose interest if there’s no substance to further it.) Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?: YES / NO only by Mutuals?: YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?: YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. (I’ve admittedly been v busy, so if you’re fine with me takin’ forever-- YES) Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?: 24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) (It really depends here.) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?: IC / OOC.(I post more IC, but the gaps between IC and OOC make it seem like there’s more OOC at times???) Are you selective with following others?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. (This is entirely because half the fandoms some of my muses come from are absolute shit so I have to be careful.)

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting: IM or Inbox-- tbh, Just kick my inbox in and screech that you wanna plot/rp with me so long as you’re a mutual. I’m honestly so laid back?? Sure, it might take me a minute but this is entirely because IRL things and not because I’m putting anyone off.

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner: Having fun? Having ideas? I guess, just, mutual interest? I mean, I’m here to write! I’m here to have fun! If you’re not interested in that much alone then?? I guess bye?? ‘Cause I’ll become very annoying to anyone who doesn’t have an interest purely because I’ll randomly ambush my partners with excitement and ideas.

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?: Oh I’ll just straight up ask if they want to continue the thread or start a new one! I mean, I get it, you can lose interest or otherwise just not feel it anymore and that’s fine! If you’re not interested in that particular thread, then no worries, we can always start more! If you’re just being one-sided in general, however?? I’m not gonna be interested at all and I’ll likely tell you as such.

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?: Normally it’ll just happen? I’ll do my “Hey what if they ___” thing and then a rapid bombardment of inquiries and excitement later, there is a thread. It’s usually mutual, the involvement of creating this plot, but sometimes it’s just me being excited and them being excited and then suddenly BAM THERE BE THREADS. S’all good over here!

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: I mean?? I’d like to know, yes! But I get that sometimes it’s incredibly anxiety ridden trying to tell someone that you’ve lost interest in a thread. It’s alright if you don’t tell me, but if you can muster up the courage to do so I’d appreciate it! I’m not gonna be upset at you for losing interest/muse in a thread! If I cared deeply about the story, I might poke at you and then you can tell me?? Either way it’s fine and tbh, I don’t mind. However, please let it be known that you can take forever on a reply as well so don’t worry about just hoarding a draft too! Tbh, I had someone reply to a thread literally a year later and I was still excited for it! - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?: Just shoot me an IM or hell, make a list of threads you’re dropping and tag me in it??? Which ever! Or don’t even tell me at all, whatever works for you sugar!

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?: Hmn, being overwhelmed-- I tend to accumulate a lot of drafts and 90% of them are long so sometimes I’ll drop a thread or two to help myself get by. Also lack of muse/interest is a factor. I won’t drop a thread purely out of being overwhelmed unless I just can’t muster up the muse to respond to it. - Will you tell your partner?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. Sometimes I get overwhelmed myself and I’ll drop a thread, forget to tell my partner, etc. Other times I’ll tell them before I even delete the draft!

Is communication in the rpc important to you? YES / NO. - And why?: Yes and no~ Yes primarily! I get that others can take a minute to muster up the courage to talk to others and would just prefer to keep things to a few sentences at first! However, I can and will ambush you with conversation and interest nonetheless. Because communication is important. If you’ve got something you wanna say to me, say it! I’m here for it! - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?: Yup! If you’ve got an issue or something that might come across as criticism to say, say it! Civil discussion is absolutely wanted here and I would like to work out any issues you may have with me or my portrayal. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way? YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?: To write and have fun! To explore in depth the characters I create or take on! I mean, c’mon, lbr here-- my gremlin ass muses require some more in depth speculation and investigation into their characters! I love the creativity, the world building, the constant drive to do better and to make others feel something from words alone. The capability to rend emotion from another living being simply from reading and reacting to something I created is amazing and I want to make others cry, laugh, smile and think. I want to create.

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios: Oh man, there’s an endless supply of things I’d like to do! I want to explore the depths of my muses’ histories more?? Like Shiro, I want to write out the things he must’ve seen, felt, experienced. How Nelliel was when she was alive, how Shiro fared in the Arena when he wasn’t fighting, Seb’s life torn between the various throws of data and reality-- there’s so much! And ALL THE AU’s!!!! All of them!!!

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore: Sure, I work with a lot of darker themes like torture, gore, etc-- but I will not write Rape, sexual abuse, nor will I write child loss.

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: I can work with most starters! However, if I’m randomly given a starter that I can’t work with for the muse selected, I’ll inform the person who wrote it! I appreciate the effort given but don’t expect me to be able to reply to every random starter given! Sometimes, they don’t even show up in my tag.

What type of characters catch your interest the most?: Okay, I’m a sucker for the underdogs, aggressive folks and the villains. I’m not even going to try and lie and say I don’t immediately look at the Aizens and Kenpachis and go ah yes, those fucking gremlins, give me ten. I also love the background characters? The side characters in a show that seem so unimportant but have a crucial role? I love characters that have such an obscure involvement that you have to stop and ask why and how their involvement was crucial. I also love the soft beans? The ones who are so hyped with positivity and gleaming interest that they just can’t be ignored?? But then turn around and whoop some poor sap’s ass with that sparkle sparkle smile. Also love the upstanding moral types that also acknowledge that some things can’t be avoided and that morality is a grey area dependent on the perceptions of the individuals themselves.

What type of characters catch your interest the least?: Hmn-- I guess the kind that don’t seem to have much substance to them? The ones that are just uncharacteristically too kind. Yes, I love the overwhelmingly positive types but?? Also?? The ones that are too kind and without flaw just?? Don’t strike me as interesting. Also the ones that are just cruel for some obscure reason just to give them a reason to be villains. I mean I understand but also?? Villains don’t have to have a reason?? They can be cruel just to be cruel. Idk that’s always just been a thing with me.

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?: I guess that I’m fairly laid back? I don’t mind if you take 10 years to reply, I’m going to get excited if you message me with some random idea, I’m not going to be bothered by any ideas you suggest?? I can also sometimes give u doodles?? I don’t have time to doodle a lot but sometimes, once in a blue moon, you’ll get a random offering of doodled booty for ur blessing. Also gonna hit you up with random HCs, ideas, threads, etc?? Always?? Idk, I’m not too good at thinking about positive aspects of myself lmfao.

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: Hnnn, I’m too laid back at times. I take too long to reply and I’m busy af IRL. I’m often goaded into being irritated by some asshole or another so I can come off aggro af too when I don’t mean to be. Sometimes I can get overwhelmed and disappear for a week, other times I can end up overwhelming someone else by being too excited? I tend to watch how much I do and say because I feel like I might come off as smothering and am too used to being shut down and told to shut up so I just don’t?? Do anything sometimes. I’m also not very good at initiating contact sometimes so I tend to go days and weeks without speaking to others.

Do you rp smut?: YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?: YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?: Usually only if it’s developmental for the characters involved. Sometimes it’s just fun to do! It really depends on the characters involved + if I have any muse in general for it. - Anything you would not want to rp there?: ???? Kinda vague, Idk? I mean if I don’t wanna rp somethin’ I’ll say so.

Are ships important to you?: YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?: YES / NO. Do you use read more?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship — Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?: The relationship, the depth of two muses who can be wildly different or even similar. The multifaceted involvement of others to that relationship, the angst, the arguments, the sad moments along with all the happy things and how hard one might try while the other is cold-- etc. I don’t just want happy dates and sunshine, that’s not how relationships work after all! - What is your smut tag?: Kettledrums

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: I like a lot of pre-established relationships! However, I can be a tad wary of child muses? Aka: The ones who are children of one of my muses. Reason being, sometimes even I don’t know how they’d raise a child so the muse in question would be off putting to me because it’s out of my realm. Beyond that, I’m down for just about everything!

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?: Since I have so many damn muses, I’mma just go with Shiro for all of this-- I suppose what they could find interesting is his very multifaceted dynamic as a soldier, human, technical non-human (Zombae), war worn, space exploring person. He can be rainbows and sunshine but also can suddenly become incredibly aggressive and cold. He’s not one or the other, he’s all and everything that he’s learned and encompassed while still remaining fragile and human in the end. Writing with him can be inspiring and can be soul wrenching, depending on the thread. As for plots, dude your character could be in space in one thread if the otherwise couldn’t be. There’s so many ways to go about writing with him?? He’s such an amazing character and the plots he can be instilled in are almost limitless with just his main verse.

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?: Hmn-- I guess the main one I have issues injecting him into place with would be the ones who are strictly non-tech oriented?? I mean, I can still have him there but getting him to fit is just?? Really difficult. Also with people who RP villains of his fandom and expect him not to be volatile. I’m sorry, but if you’re writing a S.endak or a Z.arkon-- you’re not going to get roses and butterflies with Shiro, plain and simple. If that’s something you can’t accept then don’t approach him with those muses. - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?: He works really well with most anyone! So long as one goes into it knowing he can be hostile with soldiers, Galra, etc; then he can be used no matter what. He’s one of my most capable muses that doesn’t have much of an issue when it comes to responding.

- What interests your Muse(s) in general: Space, mechanics, biomedical engineering, people, freedom, fighting for a cause, flowers, his mother, violin, cats, sparring, getting stronger, constellations, nebulae, engineering, literature, alien languages, cooking. - What do they desire, is their goal?: The safety of others, the freedom of others, the ability to choose, hope-- he wants to make sure those he cares for and all others are free and safe from the Galra take over. - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?: How they look at him. If they show signs of pity, of fear, he tends to walk away from any possible meeting with them. Otherwise, their appearance is what first catches his eye. How they dress, how they respond to him, how they talk and if he can make them crack a smile with an awkward joke. - What do they value in a person?: Hope, Strength, Loyalty, Purpose, Honesty, Patience. - What themes do they like talking about?: Shiro’s more of a listener than a talker, but honestly he’ll talk about anything of interest and question anyone’s as well to get them to talk about it. It’s what makes conversation with him easygoing most of the time. - Which themes bore them?: Himself. He’ll try to avert any conversation about himself if it’s too personal or too close to something. It’s not so much that it bores him but that type of talk is reserved for those insanely close to him. Also talk of command bores the FUCK out of him. He’s never been one to really like rank.

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?: So. Fucking. Much. Between being a prisoner of a war he was never involved with to being told he was a leader of a rebellion for said war, being a prisoner in the Arena and forced to fight and kill others, being held down and sedated as he tried to warn the others, DYING-- this boy has been thru too much. - What could possibly trigger them?: Certain noises, textures, Galra, medical equipment, certain lighting. - What could set them off, enrage them?: Galra, someone protecting him. - What could lead to an instant kill?: Any bloodlust towards him or those he cares for. Most of the time, he has this under control and tries to be merciful, give them a chance; but sometimes, especially during an episode; there’s no stopping him from gunning for someone’s throat if they had any intent to harm another or himself.

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?: Z.arkon, S.endak, L.otor, H.aggar, Druids, himself a lot of the time. - Is there someone /-thing they love?: The paladins, space fam in general, his mother, his friends, people in general.

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: Just approach him? Honestly, Shiro’s one of the easiest persons to converse with and get near. That doesn’t mean his guard is dropped, but he’s very easy going a lot of the time outside of battle. So long as you have a reason to approach him (even simpler ones like: his appearance, his arm, etc) then you’re set. - Where are they usually to find?: Oof, honestly? Anywhere. Space, Earth, other places-- he’s constantly on the move. If you want a set place, just say somewhere on Earth and I can work with that.

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?: Shiro is certainly easy to get along with, but he is not without flaw or issue. He has a plethora of issues even after the fall of the Galra Empire. He’s not without his scars, physical and otherwise. Approaching him is easy but getting close to him is not. Don’t expect him to be an open book. Just because he can talk about war, battle, fighting with a straight face doesn’t mean he wasn’t effected by it. He has suffered greatly and it will show the closer you get to him.

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @skyvar [ <3 ] Tagging: IF YOU WANNA PARTAKE IN THIS INSANITY, PLEASE DO AND TAG ME IN IT SO I CAN READ IT!!!

#Thx Snow I'm dying now #I think I just filled my word quota that I didn't even have #Dash Games;#Long post //#Shiro;#Shiro Tidbits;#But tbh this was fun to do!!

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skeletorific · 6 years

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Hey there, not sure if you're still doing HCs...? But if so, how would the bros (UT, UF, US, SF) react to finding out their s/o's seemingly mundane phobia? Like would some brush it off until s/o's literally having a panic attack?? Or immediately sympathize/console and what would they say?? Having a bit of trouble myself ATM and could use some positive vibes

lets ignore the fact that im stealing @popatochisssp ask format because i think its really good for this kind of thing asdsfadkj also I added the HT!boys because I’ve been thinking about them lately

Brushes it off until things escalate: Sans, Red, Edge

Immediately sympathizes/consoles: Crooks, Papyrus, Blue

Tries to fight the phobia and forgets to comfort you: Black

Doesn’t brush it off but doesn’t know how to comfort you either so is just stuck awkwardly patting your back: Rus, Stretch, Axe

UT!Sans: Sans isn’t great with emotions like fear. He prefers to keep a handle on things at all times, cover it in a thin layer of bad jokes, and then shove it to the back of his mind. He doesn’t write you off intentionally, its more than he kind of assumes that comforting you would make things worse, because that’s how it would make him feel. So, in typical Sans fashion, he ignores the problem until it literally can’t be ignored anymore

UT!Papyrus: Regarding his own weird fears he actually tends close to Sans, in that he prefer to cover them up. However, nothing makes him happier than feeling like he’s his s/o’s protector, so he jumps at the opportunity to shield you from even the most mundane of problems. If anything you might have to talk him down a bit to stop him from essentially bubbling you away from trouble

UF!Sans: what do you mean living with a constant, low level of fear isn’t normal. Chin up buttercup. He’s not intentionally being a dick, necessarily, but especially if the phobia is something small, it can be really hard for him to get it in his thick skull that you’re not just overreacting. The first time it happens he’s almost certainly gonna be teasing you the whole way through....right up until he notices you’re shaking.

The good news is that his behavior significantly improves after the first panic attack. Whether he understands the fear or not, making you feel safe around him is priority one. He’ll still probably tease you about it, but he’ll tone it down and tune himself in a little more to how you’re doing.

UF!Papyrus: Edge also comes from the “toughen up” school of thought when it comes to fears. He’s intimately familiar with what its like to be scared, but phobias are more complex in nature and they can be harder for him to understand. It may even take a few moments of you panicking to get him to stop trying to make you “snap out of it”. Its a bad first time. Like his brother, he learns his lesson, and while he’s never a great consoler, he’s good about getting you away from it, and good about not letting anyone give you shit for it. His ultimate goal will be to get you over it, meaning he’ll be consistently recommending exposure therapy, but if it really bothers you he’ll keep his mouth shut.

US!Sans: Blue’s very high on empathy in general. If it freaks you out chances are he’s gonna be catching some secondhand anxiety, meaning he wants to be away from whatever it is almost as much as you do. His comfort methods are usually touch based, just trying to keep you in close and tight and make sure you feel protected

US!Papyrus: combining Sans’ emotional ineloquence with Papyrus’ desire to be his s/o’s protector is a hell of a cocktail sometimes. He’s not as capable of just training himself to ignore it, but he also doesn’t know how to walk you back. As a result his methods usually tend to be distraction based, whether that’s turning on some music or just making out with you to get your mind off it. He’s stumbling, but he’s trying.

SF!Sans: Nobody and nothing scares his partner. He takes a very Papyrus approach by trying to become your protector, and depending on what your phobia is he develops a habit of being aggressive towards it. Spiders are killed. People who try to get you to go to high places are told off. If its thunderstorms you swear he’ll be trying to fight it. He means well in a way that’s honestly adorable, but don’t say that to his face.

SF!Papyrus: He’s not good with comfort words, much like Stretch, but you know what he is good with? Charming. It is really, really hard to keep your focus on whatever is freaking you out when he’s talking in that particular tone of voice and layering on that many compliments. If the phobia can be removed, he’ll do that first, and there are times when the panic is too great to be taken out by flirting. In those cases he tends to just hide you both away somewhere until the shaking stops. But in general he wants you to be more worried about whether your face is as red as it feels than any phobia

HT!Sans: Needless to say, he’s intimately aware with fear. What it feels like. How to cause it. And how to control it. Axe isn’t really known for his consoling abilities. In general, he’s emotionally closed off. In his world fear wasn’t something you comforted. It was something you either survived, or you didn’t. Even post-Surface its hard to break out of that mindset .But if you’re his s/o you’ve entered into the limited set of people he cares about, meaning he’s at least trying. As he tries to stammer out words of comfort and crush you to his side, its gruff, and its clumsy but.....from him? Its a lot.

HT!Papyrus: Crooks understand fear like Axe does. Perhaps more so, given that more often than not, he was the victim rather than the cause. But all that experience with fear has only served to make him kinder. He’s a grade a consoler. For once, his nervous tremors fade away as he calmly reminds you that he won’t let you get hurt, that you are safe, and cared for. He is able to do it well, because you’ve had to do the same for him so many times. Crooks is always gentle with you, but today its especially so, as he keeps you distracted and happy as much as possible

#undertale #underfell #underswap #swapfell #horrortale #sans #papyrus #uf!sans #uf!papyrus #us!sans #us!papyrus #sf!sans #sf!papyrus #ht!sans #ht!papyrus #phobias #headcanon #Anonymous

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astralaffairs · 6 years

Text

all that glitters ∙ overture | angelica schuyler

you didn't expect that going to college, taking classes there, would mean meeting a siren -- let alone one disguised as anything but. yet, when you did, even after you realized, you were more than prepared to throw yourself overboard into raging waters at her song

word count: 1800

warnings: nada in the overture; also this is NOT a siren au it's j a metaphor; second hand embarrassment

a/n: hope y'all like this, im kinda trying smth different atm 👀

{✨}

THUS FAR, YOU had had exactly four interactions with Angelica Schuyler. Half of them were questionable to even have been counted as such.

First off, let's jump right into the list. You bumped into her getting off the shuttle to the east side of campus. Quite literally. Classes didn't start for a week, you were just moving into your dorm, you didn't know anyone, and the last thing you needed was to be on bad terms with someone before you knew them. You looked up to see the person who your shoulder had just hit, and you froze. That was the day she first caught your attention. Dark, curly hair, a strong, sharp jaw, dimples so deep they adorned her cheeks despite her frown, and high cheekbones. You were slightly mesmerized, if only for a moment, before she cleared her throat, walking past you onto the bus. You mumbled a "sorry" as she passed, she said nothing, and that was that. Luckily for you, campus was big, and you were small, so the odds of having to worry about her were slim.

Less than a week later, your phone buzzed as you were tacking up a tapestry to the wall of your dorm. Not bothering to pause your shuffled combination of soft indie pop, hard rap, and show tunes, you turned on your screen and tapped on your first notification.

Angelica Schuyler (@angelischuy) has requested to follow you.

You frowned. You didn't recognize the name, so you clicked over to her profile, and the first thing to catch your eye was not her profile picture or any pictures succeeding it, but her bio, reading 'Columbia '21'. With the understanding that this was apparently someone who went to school with you as of now, you clicked to her recent, trying to see if you knew the girl.

You inhaled sharply.

The warm brown eyes and soft contour of her cheeks had you recognizing her instantly, despite the fact that you had seen her face only for a split second before. You put your phone down with hands that shook little enough for you to ignore it, and you went back to your task. After that, though, you couldn't ignore the nagging question at the back of your mind: Did she only follow you simply because of your school, or, by some divine intervention, was this girl following you because she happened to recognize you, too?

So that brings us to the first two interactions, in which no words were even exchanged. The third, though, was of a nature ever-so-slightly different. A week and a day after that first interaction marked the first day of classes, and Angelica was in your international human rights law seminar.

It, unfortunately, turned out to be your 8 AM, but as a particular semi-familiar face slid into the seat next to you at the back of the room, bright-eyed and smelling like coffee, you found yourself less able to complain about being there when you were. All she offered you at the beginning of the class was a tight-lipped smile and a nod (you had yet to understand how rare her smiles were, forced or otherwise), and you proceeded like that for the next three classes. The interaction came at the end of the third class when the professor dismissed you all, and she turned to you with a small frown.

"Hey, Y/N, do you know what Professor Von Steuben was saying about the video he had linked on legal qualifications of genocide?" Her dark brow was tightly knit, and you again found yourself frozen. She knew your name. "Like, I get that's what we have to watch to prepare for next class and all, but how did he say we were supposed to access it?"

"Oh! Uh, I don't know." Why did you say that? You did know; you could've just told her. You blinked stupidly. "Sorry."

She just dismissed it with a frown and a hum of acknowledgment as she slid her books back into her back and stood up to leave. You were internally screaming, your gaze fixed on your desk, waiting until she was out of the room to move.

And finally, four.

Four weeks in, as a matter of fact. Four was arguably the worst one; the greater the attempt at interaction the more it seemed to screw you over. Four was the one that left you anxious and overanalyzing, left you considering direct messaging her to apologize for how damn awkward you were.

The day proceeded the same as any other. You showed up half asleep, Angelica found the seat next to yours minutes before the lecture began, and that was that. You took notes on your laptop; she scrawled them in messy script across the pages of her notebook. Ten minutes left, and you were set up to leave class unscathed. Seven minutes had you drumming your fingers on the trackpad of your laptop. Five had you bouncing your knee restlessly, but it was four that really body checked you directly into the brick wall on thr side of a dank alleyway. Four minutes left; four minutes to ruin your self-confidence.

"Now, I have a handout for you," your professor said as she walked across the front of the lecture hall. "An exercise in thought. Due to the nature of this, I want all work, opinions, ideas, etcetera written on the physical paper for this assignment. No laptops will be permitted."

You did your best not to contribute to the collective groan that rippled through the room as you closed your laptop, following suit of many of your classmates.

"Don't sound so excited," Mrs. Knox commented dryly. "I am not going to have you spend the next--" She lifted her wrist, briefly eyeing her watch. "--four minutes completing this, but it will be your only homework between now and the next time we meet."

And then, a quiet murmur of conversation picked back up throughout the lecture hall, people passing papers back, talking about them, packing up to finally get out of there. You let out a short huff at the instructions as the papers reached the far end of your row, making it closer to you. You'd always had a tendency to lose any paper that came into your possession, so you weren't sure this would be a fun time. You pulled your bag into your lap and began stuffing everything but one folder in -- just so you wouldn't lose this this time.

When everything was in, you glanced up to check on the status of the handout, just to see that the pile had reached the row behind you, seemingly having passed right over you, and you glanced at Angelica to your right. She had the back of a pen between her teeth, her expression as nonchalany as ever as she leafed through the stapled papers.

You almost groaned; the packet seemed to have passed you -- but that was when you noticed an extra copy sitting on the desk in front of you, just offset from Angelica's notebook. Had she grabbed one of them for you?

A soft, slightly lopsided smile came to your lips, and you turned to her with slight hesitation.

"Hey, uh, can I get one of those?" you asked, motioning to the papers in front of her with as nonchalantly friendly of an expression as you could pull (you were sure it came off as stiffly as you felt, though).

She stared at you for a moment, blinked, the pen still between her teeth. "No."

FUCK, holy SHIT, what did I do this time, am I really this fucking stupid, oh my GOD, Y/N, what the FUCK are you thinking, oh my god, dumb bitch you really did it this time--

Wait. Somehow, somewhere, in the midst of your panic, you'd managed to take a social cue from that. She was being sarcastic. God, she was actually making something of a joke with you. It was written more clearly than your dumb ass could see, in her smiling eyes and raised brow and at the amused ghost of a grin playing at the very corners of her lips. Maybe you weren't hopeless after all.

OH but GOD, how do I RESPOND to this?? With more sarcasm? What the fuck, I shouldn't have tried to interact. I should've just taken a 0 on the assignment. It's not fine, FUCK--

As her eyebrows rose slightly more, almost as a challenge, you realized you'd been staring at her for a moment too long.

"Thanks, really appreciate it," you replied, trying to match her sarcasm -- but coming off way more dry and annoyed and cold than intended. Fuck, why did pretty girls have to have this effect on you?

She looked at you for a moment longer, before averting her attention back to the paper in her hand. But she did so passing you the extra paper in the process.

You took it wordlessly from her outstretched hand, glancing at her expression warily. She didn't seem to care what was happening with you any longer -- she'd made whatever assessment she was going to make, and you just wanted to get the hell out of there. You tucked the paper into your (only) folder before tossing your backpack onto your shoulder and turning to leave.

You could only think of one thing on the way out though, and it wasn't your plans for the rest of the day, and it wasn't how interesting the lecture had been, and it wasn't the weather, or the question of where your friends were, or what was being served for lunch in the closest dining hall.

I think you can guess what it was.

Because, FUCK, you couldn't believe how oblivious you were sometimes. Had you come off as a total bitch? Was that just how she reacted to people? Had your response to sarcasm not seemed like a joke? Was she going to hate you for the rest of her life now?

Only a small corner of your reasonable mind was there to stop you from DMing her in an anxious panic to explain that you really weren't a mean person.

You didn't stop thinking about it for the rest of your night.

So there they were. The four horsemen of your particular apocalypse, the dramatic build-up to an arguably more dramatic disappointment.

They didn't sound quite as bad as they felt.

But regardless, these were the facts of the case, and this was the only existing premise for the events that were then set to transpire, that were perhaps already even put into motion by some higher power behind the scenes.

You didn't know it yet, but those four events would spiral into something much bigger for you. Don't put them out of your mind yet, because sooner than you realize, you won't be able to.

#hamilton x reader #hamilton fanfic #hamilton #hamilton one shot #lafayette #lafayette x reader #john laurens x reader #angelica schuyler x reader #peggy schuyler x reader #all that glitters #eliza schuyler x reader #maria reynolds x reader #thomas jefferson x reader #hercules mulligan x reader #james madison x reader #alexander hamilton x reader #modern au #college au #coffee shop au

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shytiff · 3 years

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September 2021

1 - MTBS 0 pt. tried out kopsus from jannor coffee with gofood pickup promo (10k). it tasted nutty and yummy even though it seems to use regular milk. but its kinda hot. the ac was not satisfactory. finished up the word for Prof. bought jasuke on the way back. filled out IDI form since i still have energy.

2 - mtbs again but this time its 3 patients at the same time. vcalled with kris. bought some snacks in hypermart. exercised a bit and played badminton with renata. watched 3 eps of nanno.

3 - my body aches and it will be wonderful to sleep again but its already 6:40. usila today. the ac in kamar jaga was no longer cold. finally finished moms box of brownies from like 2 weeks ago. read dear benjamin. got to enjoy some silence because i napped before maghrib and the others slept early.

4 - vaccine in GCD with teh fitri, teh fany and teh rahmi. about 440ish patients. gossiped about cibeber lmao. watched the hitman’s bodyguard. samuel and ryan was hilarious.

5 - morning walk with renata. saw cilegon’s cfd. cleaned up the room accompanied by howl’s soundtrack. made spaghetti with instant bolognese sauce, egg and cheese. o seven with tri nagita. just saw prof’s email from 2nd sept, shit. tried to get some headspace to do ppt.

6 - bp with nessa (originally kia/ugd). except therere some patients in ugd lol. did excision for clavus (1st timer!) and hecting. fried tempe (1st timer!) using someone’s leftover oil lmaooo

7 - BP with zihan. had spaghetti combined with cheese egg and mom’s chicken for lunch. instant bloating :). drank hot matcha to curb the bloat. planked. ate muesli lol. did not do anything significant today :( started the origin of species.

8 - vaccine today except it starts at 10:30 since we’re waiting for the mayor. so i hung out on the screening table since the doctor room was hot. vaccine with dr lutfi. watched homcha and nanno. fell asleep

9 - vaccine with bang esa and other staffs in smp 8 cikerai. its apparently the highest point in cikerai. finished at 12-ish pm and we ate buffet lunch lol. made matcha latte again. this time with almost 1 spoon of sugar so it tastes good. i missss matcha. read 1 webinar ppt so i guess thats a little but its something. rip attention span

10 - usila. tried A BIT of duren from bu Tur for dr isip but its enough to make me retch lmao. was given labbaik chicken by bu oo. Some exercise. rly tried to make some progress but my brain just cant seem to muster

11 - kia/ugd. Some ugd patients. Spaghetti for lunch yay. Originally intended to go to cafe but i ended up falling asleep :) tried to get some progress for PPT. Involved a lot of staring into nothing. Slept at like 00:30ish am

12 - morning walk slash jog. The jogging track was finally open. Went to jannor. Ordered kopsus and meatball potato dish with gofood takeaway promo (spent a total of 30k) . The staff kindly asked whether i want to eat there or to actually takeaway lol. The meatball truly tasted like meat. The mashed potato was a bit dry. The weather was grey and cloudy, exactly my favorite. First time cooking kangkung

13 - vaccine today. 20-ish patients. Alone in kamar jaga since nessa went to mass vaccine. Zoom call with Prof. Dyed my hair blue in flow salon (1200K). got free manicure, It took 5 hrs 😅. another firsts in life. both the nail tech and hair tech said my hair was dry lmao. arrived in mess at 9ish pm. ordered nasgor in front of mess

14 - mi rebus for bfast. not too much patients for vaccine so i finished at like 10 am. napped at kamar jaga. got free rice box from dr arief etc yay :)))) got mochacinno at jannor. tried to do sumn useful but cannot. still no ppt progress aaa. watched homcha ep 6 together

15 - vaccine in al hanif. tried chicken-cakwe porridge near the school. the school was an all girls school, with ppl wearing long veils. tried to fit the placement test from cakap (12-1 pm) during the vaccination lol. had to excuse myself to the ssaem during photo sesh. napped so i could see the 17 pm cakap class but i ended up napping until close to 18 :) saw the 19 am class with lukas ssaem

16 - spaghetti for bfast. usila today. this dumbass forgot to wear komin and wore her rubber slip ons. turns out theres some money from al hanif vaccine. which is great bcs there’s literally no paper money in my wallet lmaoo. rested a bit. dr eva called and she gave me a ppt and chapter book job. sheeet theres no progress yet of Prof’s ppt. a wake up call. whatsapped with frends that planned to go to cilegon this weekend, but it ended up being the next weekend. thank god, because dr eva’s ppt deadline is 24th sept. set myself up on a spot in the vanity table so i can work in a chair (i frfr find it difficult to work on my own bed)

17 - some patients in UGD. Slept while waiting for 2 pm. Held off my sleepiness for zoom with dr Eva. 5pm cakap class. Matcha latte. 7pm zoom w dr eva. Fell asleep after that

18 - bp. Turns out teh imey also dyed her hair. cakap class abt bts' spring day lol. Worked on dr eva's ppt

19 - jogged a bit. had kopsus (20K) and fish fillet rice (27K). finished dr eva’s ppt with the given material so far. napped in mess. dr eva also revised the ppt on the same day so there’s 2 slides left (patient clinical profile and conclusion). took some time for me to get the headspace to work on ppt so i started prof’s ppt at like 7-ish. only got 1 slide. stayed awake until 11ish but i basically stopped doing useful stuff at 9 TT TT

20 - vaccine today, finished at 10 am. lounged around. went to bni to check on m-banking, still system error. transferred 3mil from my BNI atm to muamalat. tried nasi goreng roa and cakalang with added chicken shreds (20K). so goood. conversed with nessa zihan. did not open my laptop at all :) stopped by at rodalink bcs nessa wanted to buy a bike. drank matcha latte in an effort to curb sleepiness. worked on Prof’s ppt. fried the frozen kebab (35K) i bought from teh Rahmi.

21 - vaccine P3K w teh yeni teh rahmi mas oim. 3 patients. Ate some gorengan and talked lol. Did the abstract and ppt for dr eva. Worked on Prof's ppt.

22 - usila w mas oim. Had banana, bolu and protein for bfast. Ordered nasgor roa cakalang from bakuku for lunch. Felt suuuuper sleepy afterwards. Wanted to sleep again in mess but couldnt. Washed my shitton of clothes with washing machine. Heavyyy. Worked more on PPT. Too much denial this week

23 - picked some groceries @ bu rum. Kia/ugd today. Its been a while since i last checked DJJ. Successful first attempt but fail in the 2nd bcs the baby is still floating. Cooked meat and veggies with nessren. Jannor and kopsus again. Worked on ppt til my head hurts. Its a little bit more to gooo.

24 - bp. Made myself bento with nugget and left over veggies. Finished the smol details of the ppt and finally sent it. Watched shangchi @ transmart w chillegone. The film was fun! We cooked soup at mess and tri made perkedel. Watched homcha ep7. Slept

25 - Vaccine but there was no vaccine, so I went to UKK @ villa ternak cikerai with pkm peeps. its like opening a clinic but somewhere in hills area. got treated to bakso and tempe mendoan afterwards. lazed around in my bed, with no info from jkt friends who wanted to visit but suddenly they arrived lmao. went to amaris to catch up with them. thankfully it was not hourly parking. ate at saung bonang near the billiard place with heri joining us. total bill for five was 126 lmao its rly pocket friendly. heri borrowed my motorbike bcs his friend’s place doesnt have car park. thank god we brought the bike

26 - me and racheel went downstairs to get the hotel bfast. packed fruits, tempe and bread upstairs lol. put our stuffs in royal krakatau. took maxim to pulau kecil. turns out pak asep changed his number. it was raining there, so we sat a bit and got mie rebus. had lunch at amirang (my treat). there was only us inside. the food was okay but the meat was rly overpriced for its amount. went back to the hotel. went to indomaret and mess with racheel to get my stuff. my stupid impatient ass dropped atikah’s brand new iphone while pulling the hotel towel from the bathroom rack. im sorryyyyy. racheel and i swam until maghrib. atikah told us abt her boy “friend”. slept early at like 9-10ish with the usual width but longer leg space

27 - and suddenly its time to go to puskesmas. asked nessa to bring my shoes. said goodbye to friends. BP. there were a lot of patients. kanayam for lunch. i bought shades lol bcs i commute against the sun in the morning. cakap club. watched homcha. fell asleep

28 - vaccine. finished at like 10:30. tried to go to bni to install mbanking but the queue was like 20 ppl. did the outline for the red book. liqo with kak kartika. zoom meeting with dr eva. fell asleep again

29 - vaccine in sma 3 cilegon (cikerai) with bang esa and others. finished at like 2-ish pm. got 750K hehehe. mentoring with dr. Arnadi about KKD and HHS. bought rotbak with nessa. showered and cleaned and fell asleeep

30 - cooked tempe with leftover kanayam chili sauce. bp again. saw interesting cases today, such as fixed drug eruption. bought phd from gofood promo. went to jannor and got the usual kopsus with added espresso (since the min amount for gofood pick up promo was 25k). tried to do prof’s script but cannot, so i searched the literatures needed for dr eva’s project

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hybrid-lion · 3 years

Text

*lights cigarette and sips tea like Kermit the frog while wearing green*

File under: wyldling stuff

"You do not want to sell me death sticks… You want to text me and have me do your dishes and sleep on the floor and make art with you.*

~Obi Wan

So let's see…

I'm about 2 months in now to this foray, it's actually genuinely nice out today despite the cloud cover (I grew up in NE so I enjoy grayish days all the same); I live for both sunny days and can be happy in the rain, but prefer not sleeping in the elements considering what I'm working with (as romantic of an idea it seems).

This is very much well known of me—

Oof that hibiscus tea hits just right though..

That hibiscus tea though..

Let's see, was able to consolidate the backpack we're still rocking with the 60 ltr. bag and thanks to the organization and efforts of giving people that showed up for us at St. Paul's here in the community I was able to get a couple things (A ground pad that I might not actually need (( I might be able to give that to somebody and pay that forward, got a sleeping bag, etc), some utilities. You know how that goes.

The past two months have been working with the land, cleaning up around town, reaffirming my lessons and send eof value of my self, holding people accountable and choosing where I place my time and energy.

The folks who organize the cold weather shelter on South Main deserve all the praise, as well as the folx down at the Friendly Kitchen for coming in clutch with regular warm meals. I've dropped some weight out here that I was hoping to keep on walking around but am strong like a taxidermied pachyderm again.

I've mostly been aiming to get out of the state shortly in the coming days and hit the road again which is my goal. I'm excited to extend myself to apply to different environmental jobs as well as bring my best to the table and good opportunities as they present themselves to me.

I genuinely believe people can choose to stop and take the time to start good processes. I'm aware of what I know and my journey and if you would, some of the ideations of that destiny and would believe others will seize their own alongside me, and choose to avoid standing in my way but with me as well in love and defiance of apathy or inaction, which is why I'm such a vocal proponent of my beliefs.

I'm practicing not having to be so vocal so that there is a more contingent balance right now and my energy and efforts are understandably valued as they are similar in weight and goals as other like minded folks.

I've been working out, practicing meditations and forms, and just getting back into the swing of things. My aims and aspirations are clear and I know that my intentions are good as ever.

Where am I is I am currently posted over on one of my favorite benches; don't really know exactly what the day has but I'm looking forward to it—

I have a heart song that I want to sing when I can sing it for folks without being pressured to do so.

In my heart the possibilities I have in mind are made reality, and Im quite resolved in handling things as I am capable best and positively fof what the day could bring us jn our best interests and designs.

I've reached out to a couple folks from my past life if you would.

I am hoping and anticipating that somebody decides to hit me back, as that would be super helpful in not being out. I would ideally find a dry floor to crash on and pull my weight in turn like that Orphans song would echo the sentiment of.

I'm going to be in the area for a little while and it'd be really reaffirming to catch up on some folks if they chose to and if they decided—

I forgot I have Honey and Oat granola bars too.. I have snacks.

This is great.

— as I was if they decided to do so and it was in their best interest as well— Genuinely just my best for mine and me these days and forward.

With my comprehension of oneness and many forms of practicality in reality I'll probably check in to different circles and with others when it's appropriate for me without inviting in tons of unneeded chaos in a negative fashion and moreso in Lightness.

Idk if anyone ever thinks of the lightness of chaos, or as I prefer to put it,

"I loathe constructive dis-order as I choose to see it…"

Planned for a lot of adventures in the immediate future that I want to pan out mostly specifically pertaining to artwork as well as hopefully I have my eyes on the horizon, working with the land as well as maybe doing some tending and traveling.

I would be way better off having somebody with me rather than just solo dolo, physically present.

I got to feed the birds this morning which was super jovial and fun and I've been doing that frequently with meditations on giving and receiving and just for the sake of it.

I just I picture myself atm unwilling to play the proverbial hermit/

I actually still love people and socializing on my best days.

Going to be heading up either Northern New England or maybe down to the coastline.

I would like to see the ocean again.

I was thinking about that the other day which it occurs to me.

Honestly even though I've spent time by the water a lot it occurs to me that I never really like had like an avid passion for hanging out or like experiencing the ocean that much as a young adult or as a kid growing up it wasn't out of like fear it wasn't out of animosity…

(although sharks and things in the depths are very scary you know like stare into as the saying goes into the void the void stares)

Back like there's probably things down there you wouldn't want to be poking.

Same could be said for a lot of things but you know also you know when you go into something with the right mentality you have to bear in mind you know your mentality— like usually attracts like if you can bear that in mind. So again absolutely l o a t h e me some constructive dis order 🖤��❤️💜

Some of my life teachers or guides or a few out me into these and I in turn should fly over there when able and give them a big ol cup of hibiscus tea and mindful of how greatly I value their and my lessons and blessings in turn.

So yeah we're excited to see what the Day brings might be breaking for camp I do have to like my cigarette again apparently even though I'm trying to quit and will be putting it shortly

You only know what you know and where the day is going to take you as you can plan to have and you always hit some small bumps on the road.

I'm only expecting the best from myself and others these days which is really good applying my lessons as I see fit and not getting caught up on other people's interests from me and spending my time wisely.

Speaking of I do need to go to my old house over alcohol and procure some things I have that planned out with a peace officer and I'm just not going to be letting that situation weigh me down.

I'm not going to be associating with my prior abusers from my birth family that can't show up for love.

I'm literally going for some tools and CM and perhaps my yoga mat, which would be more it'd be easier to carry them to the sleeping mat and it'll be able to use it for yoga.

Stretching in the morning, which has again become very very important to me being out and about all the time and just thinking about it now it's like I want to work on my hamstrings but I'm not going to do that atm.

I'm still going to be procuring microphone when I have the resources available, more mobile gear than anything but still quality gear so I can get the podcast going in the meantime we're just doing logs and poetry and writing and patching and selling and things that make me happy little enjoy enjoyable pastimes like journaling.

I've been trying to get back to people as well have met some real ones out here that I would take with me if I was precisely able to, specifically some of the older guys from the shelter and kitchen, a couple of the sisters around my age, a few of my bunkmates and some other seasoned folks who seem like good souls, again focusing on tending to reality of my situation and minding my own.

Very much back to myself as capable as I've grown, when I'm able to despite the obstacles that have been conquered as well as the obstacles that have been accomplished and already overcome.

One door closes, another door opens and there's a time and place to address these kinds of things. Sargeant comes to my house like don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things like— luckily I'm wearing antiperspirant.

Clean as a whistle over here surprisingly enough even though I can't remember the last time I showered.

Which is hilarious even though yesterday was Saturday and I should have.

I should have showered then,

but I've just been mobile and like give myself punk baths here and there like the sink bath. Anybody who's ever been at like at like a camp or a conference knows very much about the same bath or a punk bath if you would whatever you want to call it without being too to non PC.

Going now I'm going to hit back a couple folks see if anybody will let me stash my pack with them for a little bit while I go over to my prior abusers house just so I don't have like a 60 l plus bag on my back all the way over there and yeah just expecting the best for myself in the immediate future and hopefully people will come along for the ride it'll be super fun lots of good s*** be wild wild times.

If y'all like my prior content or want to see more of my future content you can just get at me digitally most accessible for me right now when I have my phone charged until I can procure some more gear.

You can always contact me if you have to light if you want to like WebEx or zoom/ video chat as well as long as it's appropriate timing and I'd let you know but yeah you know if anybody wants to reach out to me feel free you know you again it would be nice to re–meet some folks.

you can look at supporting me or helping me get through this tumultuous time and then I turn I can always of course give back to the community to pull my own weight if you would both literally and proverbial as well as see fit you know what would work best for those involved in the meantime I'm probably just going to eat some granola bars and figure out where to put this backpack because it is lofty the luggage is lofty but manageable and I'm keeping it I also really want to go pick up my echeveria from the house I don't know if I can but something's telling me just carry the echeveria around with me even though it's like not exactly it's not exactly portable right now but how like how perfect would it be if I just have my echeveria like on my head or like on the in the back of my pack like like I don't know like I remember I remember being out in SF and seeing folks with like their cats or like their dogs and their rats just hanging out with them on their shoulder and I'm like I'll just take my complex houseplants with me.

I can effectively do for myself today looks like the sun's coming out peeking out from behind the clouds a little bit and even if it doesn't it's still out there somewhere which is super lovely and yeah other than that many blessings and you know make your day serve you to your utmost potential as only you yourself would know.

You want to get at me or if you want to support my at the time even like the smallest bean of grain–

You can hit the cow like button

you can toss a coin to your shifty cat friend

or you can hit me up on ko-fi so I can then turn by you a coffee however they pronounce that.

I know the value of my content and I'm going to be putting that on lock or at least some of the more special personal things for folks who want to subscribe to that kind of stuff that'll be done.

IG is still going to be getting regular updates along with my personal snap when I'm able to and in the position too and other than that yeah all y'all have a beautiful beautiful week ahead of you.

@hybrid_lion on IG

campsite.bio/hybrid_lion

http://liondaydreams.com/

Also if I was meandering through and stopped to say hai and catch up I might be kind of ragged but clean up nice

Working on this one as well...

#liondaydreams #liondaydr3ams #lionsden #new hampshire #hybridlion #allroads #hybridlionthoughts #deadrabbits #lionshare #hedgewitchproblems #wydlingstuff #LFG #lookingforroomorfloor

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