#like ik the feuds are a little different but STILL

[emily-in-crisis]

obsessed with the kids resolving their feuds after a few drinks and heart to heart/fight with mutual adversaries at a frat party while the grown ass and near geriatric adults are still going on decades now of literally trying to kill eachother over karate terf wars

[cobrasx]

HEEEEY!!! ✺◟( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)◞✺

I'm a little embarrassed to send my question but I really want to interact JAJSJAKSNS

• Why do you like DTMG?

• Can you make a top 3 of your favorite characters?

¡¡¡¡I love your content!!!!

HOLI HOLIIIIISSSS!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA STOPPPP im literally SHAKING rn HELP I LOVE YOUR CONTENT!!! dude ive been meaning to interact w you too, but omlllll I GOT SCARED LMFAO "SMOOTH" N "SAUVE" ARE NOT IN MY VOCAB N REAL TALK UR JUST SO COOL DAWG 😭💯💯 i also speak spanish, pero no creo q se suficiente para mantener una conversacion completa. es q no quiero sonar tan gringa-- como que se me va el avión al abrir la boca AJJAJJSJSAJAASHSX pero si lo se leer muy bien! no te sientas obligada a enviar cosas en ingles, sientate comoda en escribir en el idioma q quieras <3333

reasons why i like dtmg well UHHRRRRRRMM i quite fancy its missed potential ehueheuhrurhur WAIT LMAO LIKE,,, my fondness for the series stems from what could've been, and as for whats already there, i think its just something i can vibe w. truthfully, bjc is what really got me into it, but what keeps me attached is his bond with spencer. i think what they have is special, and ive always adored that kind of friendship where shit just kinda happens, but you n bro just gotta thug it out. you can be at your worst and there'll b someone who can just see through all that and accept you. doesnt mean theyll always agree with you, and sometimes it feels like they gotta put up with you, but they stay. i feel that way with dtmg in a way LMAOAOA

dtmg is very hit or miss w it's humor, but i can't even complain cuz when it's just me n her, dtmg is the funniest bitch in the club <333 ill laugh at literally everything, but dtmg just happens to have that SAUCE. that, and its poor executions sometimes; like sometimes a character can say smth in a certain tone but they're animated to a completely different vibe and that shit just takes me the fuck out. reading too much into it sends me, and just sitting there enjoying the ride blasts me off into orbit. my humor is so ass, but it's great that i can be that vulnerable w a show :3

SHE SAID WHATS UR TOP 3????? STIMMING AND SKIPPING IM STIMMING AND SKIPPING

IMMMMokayokayokay

SO!!!COMIN IN AT NO.3 !!!

MISS BLAH BLAH?!?!!?

. i love me a woman with short blue hair and pronouns <333 AHHHSHAHSHHH i hate how there's so little screen time for her,, like she doesn't even say a WORD, but her impact is so huge she stole the show for me like DUUUUUDE. i like to think that she's one of the only ppl to see billy for all his flaws. i LOVE that feuding with him makes her so happy cause she KNOWS she's getting on his last nerve. i LOVE that bjc feels threatened and offended enough by her to drop several diss tracks ALL to her name. i LOVE that in a world where billy can end careers at the snap of his fingers, shes REMAINED relevant annnnnd looks to be enjoying her celebrity status thru n THRU LIKE OH MY GODDDD IIII LLLOOVVVEEEEE!!!!! AND BJCs STILL MAD YEARS AFTER HIS OWN PASSING MAAAANNNNNEEE HOW CAN U HATE HER IF SHES ON YOUR MIND??? LORD IK SHE A BADDIE,, STAY PRESSED GRAHHH 💙💋

NUMBAH TWO??? YKKK ITS GOTTA B OUR MANNNN

BUCK

. the chillest mf there is. funny asf, a total nerd maximum geekage (i see them pins bbg), ik he rockin it w the lgbtqs, AND a successful businessman with total wi-fri OWNAGE. a fucking DIVA. a fucking LEGEND. the intercom that suspiciously sounds like the 14 year old that frequents the place says free fish tacos for every flyer RETURNED? and his response is "sure, what the hell" yesss YESSS MY KIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGG. REAL KING SHIT. YOU SAW THEM HEELS TOO?? I KNOW U SAW THEM. OUR BOY FRESHHHHH. OUR BOY FLYYYYYYY AND THATS 'CAUSE HES THE GOAT‼️‼️‼️ THE 🐐🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

NOW FURST??? U KNOW I HADDA U KNOWWON

BOBBY

. i think he's pretty tragic as a character; about as tragic as a character can b in dtmg LOLOL!! i like it when ppl r against bjc, and w their own valid reasons. bobby was just a fan who wanted to be like his idol, and in the process he ended up neglecting his own identity to fit the bjc standard. bjc rly set himself up for failure, and i love it when he faces the repercussions of his own actions. billy can't stand to see someone one-up him at his own game, and bobby being so good at being a ghost in such a short amount of time-- YUHHRRRR god that makes me so proud of him. when bobby is great, it's not at the expense of others, and he never showed any signs of intentionally making billy feel bad abt his lack of expertise up until the end of the episode. even then, bobby was never an antagonist for the fun of it. he was able to see the toxicity that billy beared, and i find that him saying "billy's somewhere he can't say mean things about people anymore" speaks volumes for his character. word choice here, "people" instead of the personal "me". he's vile, spiteful and tried to replace billy. he's so FUN. a butthurt and emotionally immature guy, but that's what i find so fascinating. LIKE CHAT THIS ALL COULDVE BEEN A NARRATIVE BEAT

THIS WAS SO FUN!!! thank you for this, i had so much fun talking abt these goobers. hearing from you is always a pleasure pan!!!! KEEP AN EYE ON UR INBOX <33333

[sparkedblaze]

you mentioned york as one of morris’ modern au circle in that response to lilshocker8 and i am now begging you to talk more about them

Okay, so this is a little complicated, and this is also gonna make me explain how everyone kind of fits together.

Bear with me

*

Okay, so the different borough boys all come from different high schools, and that's how they know each other (i.e. the 'hattan boys all went to one, Brooklyn boys all went to one, etc etc etc)

Brooklyn was Manhattan's biggest rival, and that still carries into the present day.

All the kids who are in the group were in and out of Foster care, and they'd all seen each other. They'd become friends... Sort of.

Jack and Spot always had a rivalry. They were both captains of their respective teams. Baseball. Hotshot's the only one that pursued it past high school (as of now)

They still have that playful feud, that's a little more feud than playful, and definitely comes between Racer and Spot as some point.

My Brooklyn boi pairings (not important to this post, but v important to me): Spot, Race, Albert Hotshot, Ike York, Graves Bart, Myron, Crutchie (THEY'D BE CUTE ASF DON'T COME AT ME)

I think that's all of them?

*

York is an MMA fighter

He isn't like... friends with the Delanceys. He's heard the stories, and he knows they weren't good people

But, at the same time, he's seen them at their most vulnerable.

They all get lost in fighting. They can't hide their emotions in the ropes.

They're really good, so he respects them as fighters

He's also seen how much Oscar cares about his little brother, and how childlike Morris is.

He does, however, offer food or games before fights or traveling one venue to another.

When Morris and Oscar start visiting Medda's again, York is one of the first to smile at them, and tell them happy holidays or welcome back.

Morris feels way more comfortable with him at the house with them, because he's familiar, even though he's associated with that violence. Morris can separate that. He knows that how people act in the ring is different than the way they act outside it.

Idk if I have anymore but I'm distracted by my silly little firefighter show

[gellavonhamster]

the eye of the storm, or a still life with pineapples

teen and up audiences (?) || Bertrand Baudelaire/Beatrice Baudelaire/Lemony Snicket + guest starring other ships and characters || pre-canon, canon divergence

ao3 link || originally posted in Russian

As famously said by a famous cartoonist and later by an even more famous musician and before them, probably, by many other famous and not so famous people, life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. For example, less than half a year ago I was certain that in a little while, I would marry the woman I love, and dance with her at our wedding, which would be held in a place called the Vineyard of Fragrant Grapes. A few months passed, and here I was dancing at the wedding indeed, but not as a groom and not with the woman I dreamed to marry. However, she was also attending the party, and radiating beauty in her refined wedding dress just like in my erstwhile dreams. It was her wedding – her and another man’s, and I didn’t doubt that many guests were surprised I was invited and, on top of that, entrusted with reciting one of the wedding blessings. Then again, there weren’t that many guests: only the trusted long-time associates, most of whom both the newlyweds and I had the honour to consider our friends. Some of them were familiar with the events which had resulted in my bride marrying someone else; as to the rest of them, I hoped they were too well-mannered to whisper behind my back. On the other hand, if they decided to spread some gossip, I would not have minded it much. In these latter days, all kinds of things were being whispered about me behind my back, said out loud, and printed in the newspapers. If I had a chance to choose between the discussions of my love life and the accusations of crimes I had nothing to do with, I would have chosen the former without a moment’s hesitation. Unfortunately, in practice, there were two options: either both the former and the latter or just the latter, and I had no choice anyway.             

Even the celebration venue was not what I had expected. The Vineyard of Fragrant Grapes was undoubtedly very lovely at that time of the year, but just like many other gardens, libraries, restaurants, post offices, bookstores, and tailor shops, it had lately become unsafe for the members of our organization. It was far too risky to organize the wedding in a widely known place. That was why the ceremony itself, as well as the celebratory banquet, took place in a small hotel outside the City. It was called The Eye of the Storm, and that name was more than appropriate. “The eye of the storm” is an expression which means an area of calm weather at the centre of a hurricane, both literally and figuratively, and so the present celebration seemed a calm moment at the centre of the hurricane of feuds and treachery that was raging in my life, as well as in the lives of the groom, the bride, and all the guests. An attentive visitor would also notice another eye – the motif used in the design of the hotel, from napkin rings to the moulding on the ceiling. To paraphrase the definition provided above, one could say that the eye of the storm is an area at the centre of a hurricane where the world is quiet.      

“Snicket, wake up!” called the lady I was dancing with. “Do you want us to bump into someone?”

“Sorry. I got lost in thought. And we wouldn’t have bumped into anyone: you’re the lead.”

“And good thing that I am. For a moment I felt like I was dancing with a coat rack or something like that. You alright?”

“Of course I am, R,” I smiled at my partner who was none other than R, the Duchess of Winnipeg. “How about you?”

“I’m fine, L. You know me,” she smiled back, but I saw it in her eyes that just like me, she couldn’t stop her gaze from drifting to the bride, who was dancing with her beloved in the centre of the ballroom. “It’s been long since I’ve come to terms with the fact that this is how it’s going to end. It’s only that when I used to imagine all of this before, it was you, not Bertrand, and it was easier somehow. But it’s nothing.”  

When I first met R, she was yet to become the duchess and the renowned meteorologist and the multiple fencing champion of VFD. Back then she was just the daughter of the previous Duchess of Winnipeg, now deceased; just a little girl who had just got her volunteer’s tattoo and, being confused and a little bit scared, went to explore the infirmary in search of someone who would explain to her where she was, why she was taken away from home, and where her parents were. That evening, she didn’t find the answers to all of her questions, but she found a little boy – me – who, like her, had just been tattooed and didn’t understand what was going on. We were already friends when we met Beatrice, the woman whose wedding we were dancing at today. When we understood that both of us were in love with her, we promised each other that we wouldn’t let that circumstance ruin our friendship. There is an absorbing Gothic novel in which three friends propose to the same girl, and remain friends after she chooses one of them. Similarly, my friend and I both courted Beatrice, leaving it up to her to choose one of us and not expecting that in the end, just like in that novel, there would be three contenders for her heart, and it would be the third one that she would favour. One could only hope that at that point, the similarities with the novel would end, although taking into account Beatrice’s fondness for bats, she would surely be amused by the prospect of being turned into a vampire.        

“I do know you, R,” I confirmed. “And that is exactly why I am worried.”

“Oh, come on. If you want to know, today I feel much better than over the last two months combined. Look around, L: even in these trying times we’re surrounded by noble and trustworthy people. My dear friend got married and is happy. I am dancing at her wedding in a wonderful dress and in an excellent company, and who knows,” she winked at me, “perhaps it’s in that excellent company that I’ll meet someone who would help me to let go of the past at last.”

“You will meet – or you have met?” I asked, intrigued. My friend smiled cryptically. “Who is she?”

“Look to your left. See a beautiful girl in a peach dress standing by the window?”

The girl was beautiful indeed. Something about the features of her face seemed familiar to me but I didn’t know her name, which was what I told R.

“Sally Sebald,” she told me, with the same conspiratorial look. “The little sister of Gustav, our Monty’s new… assistant.”  

If “our Monty” had heard the way R had spoken the word “assistant”, he would have definitely pretended to be offended to the marrow of his bones. However, at that moment he was busy dancing with that very assistant. The music stopped, and the band bowed in response to the applause, then proceeded to flip through the sheets, selecting the next piece to play.    

“I’ll leave you for a while,” R announced. “I must ask her for a dance. Promise me you won’t just stand by yourself ruining everyone’s mood with your long face.”

“I promise. Go for it,” I squeezed her hand, wishing her luck. “And I’ll go grab a bite.”

With that, I made my way to the cold table at the opposite end of the ballroom. “Cold table” is an expression which here means “a buffet-style table with the dishes that the guests are expected to help themselves to” not a table that is cold to touch, although I couldn’t have had any idea if that particular table was cold to touch before I ever touched it. As I was eating mushroom tartlets, I watched the dancers. Here was my brother waltzing with Olivia Caliban, and there was my sister, talking animatedly about something to her partner during the dance – and looking, as I was pleased to notice, like after all the recent troubles and worries she was finally at peace. Some of the guests might have been watching her too and wondering who she was dancing with: Frank or Ernest? That was, of course, the wrong question, while the right question would have been “How many Denouement brothers are there, actually?” I shifted my gaze to R, who was dancing with Gustav’s sister, then to Gustav and Monty and then to Ike and Josephine Anwhistle and so, looking over the dancing couples one by one, I finally met Beatrice’s eyes as she looked at me over her husband’s shoulder. My heart sank. That ballroom was full of people I held in great affection, and still I had to abandon them tomorrow, to flee abroad in order to save myself and everyone who was closely associated with me and could get in the firing line because of that. I didn’t know when I would see all of them again. Just the thought of it made me suffocate with grief.        

“Snicket,” someone said. I turned around. There was a woman standing next to me, one that was different from the other guests for two reasons. Firstly, most of the invitees were the same age as the bride and the groom, while this woman was much older. Secondly, I have never met anyone with a hair as thick, long, and unruly, presently already greying. Even if she had tried to arrange it in some sort of a hairdo on the occasion of the party, all the pins and clips clearly were already lost, unable to tame this natural disaster. “Do you mind?”

“An interesting question. For a well-mannered person, there’s only one answer to it,” I observed, “which could be in equal measure correct or incorrect depending on how much…”

“Snicket,” my chaperone interrupted me, annoyed, “I asked because you’re standing by yourself ruining everyone’s mood with your long face. If you’re fine with being in such condition, I can leave you alone.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you, Theodora,” I objected. “Shall I pass you something? The salmon sandwiches are really good.”  

“Thank you, I’ve enough for now,” she showed me a full plate. For some time we stood there eating and not saying a word, enjoying the music, the meal, and, to the lesser extent, each other’s company. Finally, Theodora said what she apparently wanted to say from the start.  

“I grew wary when I saw you here, quite honestly,” she began. “I knew you were invited, as astonishing as it may be, but I was still surprised you’ve showed up. I’ll admit I feared that at the last moment you’d… pull some trick. I even told Bertrand about it, but he just waved it aside.”  

“Well, that just proves the student has surpassed the teacher when it comes to getting other people,” I shrugged. “I suppose you wouldn’t trust me, but I didn’t even think of ruining the ceremony. Believe it or not, I sincerely wish Bertrand and Beatrice nothing but happiness.”

“You’re a peculiar person, Snicket.”

“Am I? I thought I am insufferable and lack respect for my elders.”

“And that, too. It won’t ever cease to amaze me that you and Bertrand hit it off.”

My brain instantly came up with a couple of presumably witty responses concerning how well we hit it off indeed – the champagne might’ve been to blame – but I restrained myself. There were some things she’d better stay unaware of.

“Life is full of surprises,” I observed instead. Theodora looked at me dubiously.

“I’d like to believe you’re telling the truth,” she said. “That you really came here to congratulate them on their marriage, and not to wallow in self-pity or make them doubt they made the right choice. You’re a peculiar person, Snicket, and that is precisely why I feel I really might be right to believe that. Care to ask the old hag for a dance?”

“With pleasure,” I agreed. This conversation was somewhat upsetting me, and it appeared I was already failing to keep the promise I gave R anyway. “May I have this dance, Theodora?”  

The look on her face told me she was expecting some other answer, in which I would have pointed out, for instance, that I see no old hags here, but she still gave me her hand, and we went dancing.

 ***

 The celebration ended late into the night. Many kind words were said to the bridal couple, many wonderful songs were sung, and the young Quagmire, evidently inspired by the example of his friend Bertrand, seized the moment to propose to his beloved. Finally the time came for everyone to head home. I was hanging around the hotel lobby and making my adieus to the guests: some of them were waiting for their taxis to arrive while some preferred to make use of the secret tunnel that connected The Eye of the Storm to a number of VFD buildings in the City. I was bidding farewell to my friends: sometimes a handshake, sometimes an embrace, and sometimes simply an exchange of phrases which would’ve seemed nonsensical to the uninitiated. My future appeared to me full of uncertainty and loneliness, and the volunteer’s work kept becoming more and more dangerous with every passing day. If I was destined to never meet my comrades again, then I wanted to remember them precisely the way they were that evening: happy, content, elegantly dressed, and with a newly found confidence that we may still be bound to witness the victory of nobility, valour, and erudition over cunning, avarice, and bad taste.                  

“We’ll meet you by the road junction at nine,” my brother said, clapping me on the shoulder. He was obviously worried. I didn’t want him to worry about me – I was doing that myself just fine. “Are you sure you don’t want to leave earlier? You could get there in time to catch the…”

“It is highly likely that our enemies have infiltrated the crew of the Prospero. You know that yourself,” I didn’t let him finish. “I’ll take the train. Don’t fret about me, Jacques. Better try to get some sleep. Or…” I cast a sidelong look at Olivia, who was standing nearby and apparently waiting for my brother, “spend the time until morning the way you see fit.”

It was twilight outside The Eye of the Storm, but I had no doubts Jacques blushed.  

“You’re taking a lot of risk, L,” he said, displeased. “Are you sure it’s worth it? After all, everything has changed now…”

“I know,” I said. Deep down, I wasn’t sure indeed if it was a good idea. If it was appropriate now, no matter how much we wanted to believe it was. But I couldn’t act differently. Firstly, I had given a promise. Secondly, if I changed my mind, then – who knows – I might miss the last chance to feel happy that I’d get in my life. “I am only sure that if I leave now, I am going to regret it. See you tomorrow, Jacques.”  

He frowned but said nothing more and, after hugging me once again, got into the car and left. I headed back to The Eye of the Storm. My brother and Olivia were the last ones to leave; presently the only ones staying at the hotel were the employees and the newlyweds. I sneaked a look into the ballroom and saw them talking about something to the hotel owner. The bride laughed at something and took her groom – her husband – by the hand. I was standing there in the dusk and thinking: what if my brother was right? Wouldn’t it be better for me to leave before it’s too late – just like that, without saying goodbye? I shook my head, chasing these thoughts away as if they were circling me like Snow Gnats, and hurried to the second floor. At the very beginning of the corridor, a bored-looking hall porter was sitting on a chair and cleaning his nails. I approached him.  

“Mr. and Mrs. Baudelaire are wondering if the still life with pineapples displayed in the ballroom is for sale,” I said.

The hall porter raised his head to look at me.

“Unfortunately it isn’t. It’s the only thing our owner has to remember his late grandmother by,” he replied, and gave me the key from the luxury suite. There was no further conversation between us; I took the key and headed to the suite.  

I entered the room, closed the door behind me, and looked around. As it is commonly known, luxury accommodations differ from the regular hotel rooms in the number of amenities and the refinement of the furnishings. In the present case, one of the indisputable advantages of this suite in comparison to the other rooms was a bookcase with a great number of books on its shelves. I looked over the room, checking, among other things, the presence of weapons and fire extinguishing tools hidden under the bed in the event of the enemies of the bridal couple finding out where the wedding was taking place and deciding to pay a visit. Then I took a collection of poems by Oscar Wilde from one of the shelves and immersed myself in reading, hoping for once I wouldn’t get much time for that.          

Indeed, I didn’t have to wait for long. There was the sound of steps and voices, and the just married burst into the room – it struck my eye that they were still holding hands. They didn’t notice me because as soon as Mr. Baudelaire shut the door behind him, Mrs. Baudelaire pinned him against that very door and kissed him. Since she threw off her high-heeled shoes the moment she ran into the room, she had to stand on tiptoe to kiss him, which looked absolutely adorable.

I watched those two who had clearly forgotten at that moment about the world around. Without a doubt, the Baudelaires were a beautiful couple. Beatrice was lovely even wearing an old tracksuit covered in dirt after the annual orienteering competition held in the city sewers – presently, in a white and golden wedding dress, she looked like an angel. Bertrand, handsome and well-built, looked dapper in a cream-coloured suit with a tea rose on the lapel. I was feasting my eyes on the both of them, all the while racked by doubts as to whether I’d better withdraw through the window before they noticed me. I even started to reflect on how wide the windowsills of The Eye of the Storm were, but then the Baudelaire spouses pulled away from each other and finally realized they were not alone in the room. My presence did not surprise them in the slightest.          

“You’re here,” Beatrice said, and her face lit up with such joy that I shook all the thoughts about the windowsills out of my head.

I put the book back on the shelf.

“I asked the hall porter about the painting with pineapples,” I said. “It is not for sale.”

“What a pity,” Beatrice replied merrily, ran up to me, and kissed me on the lips.  

I was not destined to tie the knot and start a family. When I was engaged to Beatrice, I tried to ignore the thought of it but it was always with me, in some hidden corner of my mind. It was there when Beatrice accepted my proposal and in the early days of our relationship and when I was twelve years old and Theodora was telling me that her previous apprentice, the same young man who was half-smiling now as he watched me kiss his wife, would become a husband and a father, while all that awaited me was loneliness. I was not destined to find the happiness harped on about by writers and telenovela characters and the designers of those advertisement posters that featured parents and two children, always a boy and a girl, carelessly consuming cereals or ice cream. But I knew happiness of another kind, and while the creators of cereal advertisements would hardly be able to appreciate it, I suspected that some writers could have understood me. I was kissing the woman that wasn’t mine in the eyes of the law and the society yet still was mine as much as I was hers – that is to say, with all her heart and all her soul – and I was happy. That was more than enough.          

Beatrice pulled away from my lips.

“I was mad the whole evening I couldn’t just come up to you for no special reason,” she told me. “Couldn’t dance with you, not even once.”

“It is important that as many people as possible are sure we’re not together anymore,” I reminded her. “You have plenty of your own enemies, Beatrice. You shouldn’t have to deal with mine to boot.”

“I refuse to believe that any single one of the people who were here today…” she started, but stopped short. Perhaps she remembered how fragile the bonds of friendship can be, and in how much danger they can be put both by ambition and the sense of duty. Perhaps she remembered about the family whose manor she used to visit as a child and about a night at the opera and the poison darts; about the articles in The Daily Punctilio and the stolen sugar bowl. I pulled her close. I didn’t want her to think about those things on the day of her wedding.    

Bertrand coughed. I met his eyes, and felt Beatrice softly push me away. It occurred to me that kissing the wife right in front of her husband’s eyes is extremely improper, so when he approached me I decided to atone for my behaviour, and kissed him too. If Beatrice always kissed with all the fervour of the woman who could fight off a giant eagle with her bare hands, then Bertrand always did it with all the thoroughness of the man who enters a lions’ cage without fear because he has studied their habits in all detail and thought out all the actions required in case the situation gets out of control. I didn’t see Beatrice’s face the moment my lips touched Bertrand’s, but I knew she was smiling.          

I ran my hand over his chest and felt for the tea rose.

“Been wondering all evening if it’s natural or not,” I said. My head was spinning. I still hadn’t fully got used to the effect these two had upon me, and this might have been our last night together.  

“Artificial,” Bertrand said, took the flower out of the buttonhole, and put it into my pocket. “Take it. As a keepsake of this day.”

“Thank you,” I said. As I was looking at him, I hoped yet again that if Beatrice’s children (who were bound to be born one day: she’s always wanted to become a mother) take after their father, they’ll inherit Bertrand’s features, not mine. I wouldn’t mind to pass on the colour of my eyes or my hair, but certainly not my innate tendency to corpulence that created certain inconveniences when it was necessary, for instance, to exit the building through the basement window. As to Bertrand, he was outrageously good-looking from head to toe – I remembered vividly how it used to annoy me back when I had just met him. I used to be itching to hit him even though he never actually provoked me in any way. I didn’t want to admit for a long time that what was hiding behind that was simply the longing to touch him. “But I think that can wait. I am not leaving yet, after all.”      

“Will you stay till morning?” Beatrice asked hopefully.

“I am to meet Jacques and Kit by the road junction a mile from The Eye of the Storm at nine o’clock. They’ll take me to the railway station – not the nearest one, but the one after – where I shall board the train at nine twenty-nine.”  

“It’s five minutes to two now,” Bertrand observed, glancing at his wristwatch.

“About seven hours,” Beatrice said, taking a step towards Bertrand and me, and put her hand on my cheek. “Almost the whole night.”  

“Your wedding night, by the way,” I reminded. “Are you sure that…”

“Lemony Snicket,” she interrupted me petulantly, and slapped me on the lips lightly with the tips of her fingers, “yes, we are sure, we’ve discussed all that more than once, we told you the password that got you the key to our room for a reason. If the world was simpler and quieter, you would’ve been getting married today as well. Consider this as your wedding night too. And before you’ve managed to make some other silly statement: yes, we’ve discussed that as well.”  

I looked at Bertrand. He nodded without thinking twice.  

“The fact that Beatrice and I are married now doesn’t change a thing,” he said. “Remember that when you return to the City. You will return one day, won’t you, Snicket?”

I was about to answer honestly, “I don’t know”, but I just couldn’t.

“I’ll try to,” I said. That was also true. I would have given anything not to leave the people I loved more than anything else in the world, but since I had no other choice, all that was left to me was to make every effort to come back to them sooner or later.  

“All right,” Beatrice said. “All right,” she repeated, and it seemed to me I saw tears glisten in her eyes and I felt scared. She stopped me with a motion of her hand before I could say anything to her. “We’ll talk about that later. Are you feeling sleepy?”

“Are you suggesting I go to sleep, Beatrice?”

“I suggest you accept that you’ll only get to sleep on the train.”

With that she pushed me to the bed – a large bed, the kind that three people would fit on with ease. Beatrice moved towards me and I moved back until I fell on my back right on the blanket. Beatrice lifted her skirt a little and climbed first onto the bed, and then on top of me.    

“Careful, Snicket,” Bertrand said as he noticed that my hands slid under her skirt. He sat on the bed and bent over me. “She’s got a dagger in her garter. Sheathed, of course, but you never know.”

I grabbed the tip of his necktie and pulled him closer.

“How interesting,” I said. Beatrice was straddling me, rising a little and then pressing herself to me again, and I was moving towards her in sync. “Do you also have anything hidden underneath your clothes, Mr. Baudelaire?”

“See for yourself,” Bertrand offered, and kissed me.

The storm was raging outside the hotel, yet only figuratively. Clouds were gathering over all the fearless and well-read people who have dedicated their lives to science, literature, and keeping the world quiet. But I and those two that I loved were in the eye of the storm: literally, because that was the name of the hotel, and figuratively, because that night we weren’t thinking about the schemes of our enemies and the everyday dangers that befell our friends. I was happy in a way the one whose beloved has just married someone else rarely is, and here, in the eye of the storm, nothing could take that happiness from me – at least not until the morning.      

[alwayslilmisstreated]

Alice the Third

*(This is an idea a friend and I played around with once I introduced her to Ike/Rev. It is nowhere near complete but I’m really enjoying making it come to life! Without further delay: (Modern day)If Alice marries Sirius and her sister comes to Cradle.)

The story starts out innocent, but it will build in language as well as content. You have been warned.

Rated: Explicit, 18+

Chapter 1 - Strange Meetings

“Are you, Mari?”

My head snapped up at the sound of a gentle male voice. Slowly I took one headphone out and studied him before answering. 

The circumstances were weird enough, even for me, and I was the only female Major in the English Army. I hadn’t seen my little sister Alice in almost six years, and about five months ago out of nowhere I started getting these letters from her. Although I wasn’t living full time in London anymore, always ready to go wherever the war took me, rumors of her sudden disappearance still reached me.

Naturally when she’d appeared in my flat one night, I was angry as hell at her for not telling me where she had went, but being me, I had shut up and listened. She hadn’t told me everything, just that she’d traveled to another world and she’d found the love of her life and she was getting married, and she wanted me to be there. Are you fucking kidding me?

Alice stayed in London that month and disappeared the next, just in time for my next job assignment in Germany.

So here I was, in St. James Park at eleven o’clock at night, meeting a strange man that Alice had sent to bring me to wherever she was for the next month.

“Are you the White Rabbit?” I tested, standing up straighter and  watching his eyes. I could always spot when someone was lying to me.

The man chuckled, shaking his head and pushing his glasses up his nose. “You’re just like she said you’d be.”

I raised my eyebrow at this. Just what else has she been telling you...?

“I’m Blanc Lapin.” He continued, holding out his white-gloved hand to me.

I shook it firmly, releasing it just as quick, still not sure what to make of this guy. He was impeccably dressed, but very twitchy. I was a female soldier wearing leather pants and boots of all things.

“We should go, we don’t have much longer before the portal will close.” He nodded to my oversized army issue duffel bag strapped to my back, and a small black leather bag at my feet. “Is that all you have?”

Rolling the muscles in my shoulders to loosen the strain from the weight, I nodded. “These are mostly presents, I hope that’s okay. She didn’t really tell me about anything I couldn’t bring..”

Blanc nodded, grabbing the small bag and started quickly walking down the path, beckoning me to follow. “You’ll have to talk to Ray about that when you get to Black Territory, but I think you’ll be alright, as long as strange hands don’t get a hold of any weapons you may have brought anyway.” He eyed the belt at my waist where my issued pistol sat on my hip.

“This is my personal protection.” My tone was unintentionally sharp. “But if it’ll protect my sister, I’ll hand it over...”

I promised Alice I wouldn’t cause any trouble. That included many things, particularly back talking her new friends and family.

“I’ll explain more when we get there,” Blanc promised. He suddenly stopped, holding out his hand so I wouldn’t walk past him. “This is it.”

I didn’t see anything. It just looked like open space to me.

“Just relax.” Blanc smiled, before he stepped forward and disappeared into thin air. 

“What the fuck?!” I spun around, but sure enough he was gone. I pinched myself. “Fuck!” I yelled into the night once more. I took the step.

The world spun upside down and the park was quickly out of sight, replaced by the vast night sky illuminated by a full moon and twinkling stars. I was falling, down a hole that seemed as wide as it was long.

If Alice could travel back and forth I would surely be fine, right? I tried to shake the thoughts away that I may become a pancake at the end of this. Why hadn’t I taken a sip from my flask before we stepped through there?

It wasn’t until I realized everything around me was moving slower, wait, was I floating? I couldn’t see the bottom, how deep was this hole anyway?

When I looked up to see where we had fallen from I was startled to see the exit falling out from under me.

I continued floating through the air, slowly approaching a landscape  unlike any I had ever seen before.

There was a deep, dark forest, a large city to the North and, a sister looking tower that appeared bigger than the Eiffel Tower. Shivers ran down my spine as I glanced it over. Something wasn’t right about it.

How any of this was possible, I didn’t know, but I knew for a fact I wasn’t dreaming.

Moments later, I felt my body growing heavier, and I began to fall faster.

I squeezed my eyes shut and hit the ground with a crouch. The impact was harder than I imagined, but I refused to show any pain, gritting my teeth I rolled to my feet and stood, taking in my surroundings.

I was in a rose garden that looked like it was straight out of a fairy tale. Off in the corner was a large hole with a preternatural light shining out of it from above.

“Are you alright?” I jumped as Blanc suddenly appeared at my side, almost losing my balance in the process. He reached out to steady me before I had even registered his movement. Rabbit like, indeed. His touch on my arm was warm, but I still stepped back, putting a safe amount of space between us.

“I’m better than alright.” I grinned at him lightly. “Let’s go.”

Blanc led me through a nearby door, which led to a huge spiral staircase that appeared to be a housed in the middle of an official building of sorts.

“Did we really just land on the roof of this place?” I asked, pulling my flask from my pocket, unscrewing the lid and taking a deep swig. I passed it to him, but he politely declined.

“We did, indeed.” He smiled brightly.

Shrugging I took another sip as he led me down a hall and another flight of stairs. Blanc opened the front door for me, leading us out onto a moonlit cobblestone street where a carriage was waiting.

Blanc opened the door for me, helping me step up with my bag on my back, sliding in across from me with the rest of my luggage. A voice from the driver’s box called down, “I see you secured the other idiot. Congratulations.” I heard the crack of the whip and we were off.

“Did he just call me an idiot?”

“You’ll get used to it.” Blanc answered, sitting back in his seat to study me. “Just how much did Alice tell you about Cradle?”

I hesitated answering him. What if I knew too much and it got Alice in trouble?

He seemed to sense my thoughts. “I encouraged her to tell you a little actually. That way it might not be so much of a shock.”

I relaxed a little and told him all that my baby sister had told me about her new home. Magic Crystals, 500 year feuds, fictitious characters that are actually real that I may or may not have tattooed on various parts of my body.

“She said something about people from our world being able to repel magic,” I started, not really sure how this would sound. “Can I do that too?”

“Yes,” he smiled. He then showed me the map he had once showed my sister when she first came here. “The West is ruled by the Red, while the East is ruled by the Black. We’re currently in the Central Quarter, which up until recently was the peaceful ground in between. The place where we landed is called the Garden. This is where Cradle’s most powerful figures gather for debates and trials. Usually everyone except for high ranking army officials and myself-- the official record keeper-- are forbidden from entering, but since we are at peace and King Lancelot is Sirius’ best man, some strings were pulled in your case.”

This was a lot more complicated than I originally thought. I just hope I could keep my promise and not cause any mayhem in my time here. Alice had her secrets, and I had mine, but sooner or later they would come to light.

“There’s one other thing,” Blanc said, startling me out of my thoughts as I stared out the windows of the carriage, watching the strange lights from the crystals dance.

“What’s that?” I asked, taking another sip from my flask.

“I have a feeling everyone with the Black Army is going to be quite taken with you.”

“How is that a problem? I’m going to be living with them for the next month, isn’t it best we get along?”

“There is a rumor going around that someone from the Red Army wants to tempt you as well. It’s highly unlikely that some unforeseen difficulties may arise between you and a certain someone. Maybe even myself and Oliver.”

“What are you talking about, Lapin?” My military voice was coming out and my tone was sharpening. “I’m not going to cause any problems for my sister or anyone--”

“Listen well, Mari.” He cut me off. “I gave this same warning to your sister months ago and it didn’t do any good. Let’s see if you’re better at listening than she is. If you want to make it home, there’s one kind of magic you must not fall under the spell of. It’s the strongest, oldest magic in this land-- love."

“Love?” I scoffed, rolling my eyes at him.

“Strictly speaking, love on its own doesn’t constitute magic. But what I just told you wasn’t just some silly metaphor about life either. Only tragedy awaits those who fall in love with somebody from a different world. If you dream of going back to your world, it will remain nothing more than that-- a dream.

Other than my sister I had never loved anybody before. Being in the military, you learned not to get attached to anyone, because you never knew if you were going to live throughout the day. This was going to be a piece of cake. Nobody could fall in love in a month, right? Oh wait, Alice..

“Don’t worry about me, White Rabbit. I’m the last person you’ll catch falling in love.” I turned my gaze back to the window, letting myself get lost in the differences of our worlds. So I didn’t hear the words Blanc muttered under his breath next.

“If I had a tart for every time someone said that to me....”

Little did I knew then that I was about to fall in love with someone from Cradle, the country shrouded in magic and mystery that would be my home for the next month.

Blanc smiled at men and pushed his glasses further up his nose. "It seems we have another problem. I never told you my last name."

13 days remained until the wedding.

And 30 days remained until the next full moon.

[gascon-en-exil]

Ranking FE’s Lords

@paragonred asked for this, possibly as a follow-up to this ranking of the games themselves. I’ll use the same tier format so I don’t have to get so specific as to order everyone into a numbered list.

S Tier - interesting, narratively engaging, and (usually) fun to use

Micaiah - see this post.

Eliwood - ends up mediocre more than half the time, but he’s got a strong character arc with plenty of development and good moments even on Hector’s route. I very much like Eliwood/Hector as a traditional romantic friendship that could feasibly grow into something more between games depending on who they marry and what happens to their wives. Incidentally, I don’t have any very strong opinions on any of those ships, other than that Hector/Florina is rather nonsensical.

Celica - see this post

A Tier - fun unit and may have interesting character potential, but I’m less invested in exploring them

Ephraim - mostly up here because I like lances. His arc is similar to Hector’s with more urgency and the homoromanticism coming from different sources, but his contribution to that questionable legacy has largely been swallowed up by twincest. Or something like that anyway.

Hector - speaking of which, he’s a good unit apart from his promotion (both the class itself and the timing of it in his route) and as mentioned I ship him with Eliwood in a sense, but I don’t like the archetype he spawned. He also feels a bit superfluous to FE7′s main story, though not as much as Lyn does.

Lucina - will be incredibly broken unless you don’t pair Chrom or stick him with Sully. Severely under-served by her narrative despite being a uniquely tragic figure in an otherwise aggressively optimistic game, but she got a DLC campaign and a bunch of shilling outside the series proper so that sort of makes up for it?

Sigurd - the most OP lord ever. I like that he’s an idiot and that he faces real consequences for his mistakes, and I like how he looms large over Gen 2 in spite of his flaws. Even more so than with Hector, I don’t like how his fanbase sees his game performance and nothing else about him.

Alm - already a good unit in the original from what I understand, and he benefits considerably from the distinctive presentation elements of FE15. He certainly offers a more nuanced discussion of class than certain other lords. *ahem* It does suck a bit that it feels like some of his character beats have to compromise Celica’s to make them work, but that’s partially Gaiden’s fault too.

Leif - might move up if he’s relatably more of an impoverished aristocrat in the remakes, but then his particular circumstances don’t really speak to me the way that, say, Almedha’s do. I mostly hated using him in FE5 though he had his moments. Probably benefits from being surrounded by interesting people more than anyone else in this tier, but he really benefits there.

B Tier - either overwhelmingly average, or with both strong positive and strong negative aspects that balance each other out

Ike - yeah, you guys probably saw this one coming. On the one hand, he’s very likely gay; on the other, half the fandom still won’t shut up about the possibility that he might not be and/or that IS was wrong to do what they did with him. On the one hand, convention-defying peasant lord shaping his own destiny is interesting; on the other, he has terrible manners and a shameless insensitivity to foreign (beorc) cultures and yet we’re meant to be rooting for him. On the one hand, a strong unit who plays quite differently in his two games and so therefore doesn’t feel stale; on the other, he and his mercenaries edge out the light magic-wielding Micaiah and her army for screentime and EXP and it’s pretty obvious which unit type I prefer there. I can’t even get all that strongly into Ike/Soren for entirely personal reasons, but at least Ike/Ranulf is still there to pick up the slack.

Lyn - even though she’s the first lord with a same-sex paired ending that fact is largely forgotten. Much of her enduring popularity seems to be based on her sex appeal, and she’s irrelevant to Elibe as a whole. Still, her route is a nice little self-contained story that doesn’t feel too similar to anything else in FE, and she’s got a strong camaraderie with her fellow lords.

Corrin - it’s difficult to talk about Corrin as one entry since they develop differently depending on the route, but as with Fates as a whole I feel like the three iterations of the character average out somewhere just slightly below average. Birthright Corrin is a standard FE protagonist, except maybe a little angrier (Leif, Shadow Dragon Marth maybe?) and with entirely too many death scenes thrown at them. Conquest Corrin has the most missed potential, as with most things involving Conquest apart from gameplay, and one practically has to roll with the headcanon that they and the Nohr royals have been conditioned by years of abuse to make their characters sort of work. Revelation Corrin reminds me unpleasantly of Robin (see below) with the power of cross-cultural friendship stuff and the super special ending. I’m not too fond of the character as a unit either, since they take more work to get as flexibly broken as the other Avatars and their manakete form fails to impress except for tanking.

Seliph - saved from C Tier by the general messiness of Jugdral. His father’s legacy is a complicated one, and about 1/3rd of his campaign amounts to a blood feud with the aim of giving his first cousin a throne for somewhat dubious reasons. He takes some time to get as broken as SIgurd, but he’s all sorts of fun when he gets there. Couldn’t tell you if he’s got any interesting romantic prospects, endorsed by the pairing system or otherwise, because he’s still pretty dull in that department.

C Tier - bland, and usually bad as units

Marth - truly the Mario of FE, in that he’s everywhere with a different personality almost every time. His two remakes did surprisingly little to flesh him out in any consistent way, and by that point over half a dozen other protagonists had diverged from his archetypical lord model in almost as many different ways.

Roy - red-haired Marth with a harem and an obscenely late promotion instead of no promotion at all *yawns* I guess he gets points for having a living parent? Not sure why anyone is a particular fan of him unless they mained him in Melee. Maybe a remake will help him out?

Chrom - Marth with biceps and a time-traveling daughter who coincidentally cosplays as Marth. That’s marginally less yawn-worthy if only because of how strange it all is, and he also borrows from the Hector-type lord as well so he ends up as an unexpected fusion of the buff and the bishonen. Overshadowed in story and in gameplay by his daughter and some random amnesiac he found in a field who he may or may not decide to sleep with.

Eirika - only slightly a Marth clone, but as with Celica the story is unevenly stacked against her and in favor of her male counterpart, even on her own route. The fandom doesn’t like her because she’s naïve, but that could also be said of several other lords. Not really into her as a unit or any of her ships, so...yeah.

Kris - ...do they even count as a lord? Eh, whatever.

D Tier - OP unit, terrible character

Robin - would have been so much more tolerable if endgame didn’t abruptly swerve to becoming entirely about them, at the expense of Chrom and Lucina and everyone else. Somehow the special secret origin type of Avatar grates more than one whose importance to everyone and everything in the story is laid out right at the beginning. I can more or less buy everyone in Fates obsessing over Corrin because of who they are and what they represent for the various players, but not so much Robin whom everyone rallies around apparently for the sole reason that they’re a really friendly tactical genius. Compound that with the fact that they’re meant to be a self-insert in a game with enormous levels of explicit homoerotic denial and it should be easy to see why they’re at the bottom of this list.

[soulfulspontaneity]

first post on tumblr in a while!!! my first impression of Lover (hopefully a thread type thing) bc ik y’all wont judge me❤️❤️

I FORGOT YOU EXISTED: THE PERFECT RESOLUTION TO THE KIMYE FEUD. leave trash where it belongs. out of sight and out of mind. oops. I love the upbeat music and the background vocals. However I can’t see this as a tour opener though but still an amazing song

CRUEL SUMMER: someone once said that OOTW stans will love this song. they were right. I’m obsessed

LOVER: well already heard this but it’s probably my favorite out of the first four songs released before Lover came out. the perfect wedding song. very wholesome and soothing.

THE MAN: SHE SNAPPED. I’m here for this. So badass, so catchy AND DAMN that’s the first time I’ve heard her say bitch. YOU GO GIRL

THE ARCHER: same deal with Lover. another one of my favorites so far. the lyrics hit so close to home. picking a favorite track 5 became even harder

I THINK HE KNOWS: I’m intrigued by the title. the way her voice gets higher is my favorite part and it gives me vibes from music from past decades.

MISS AMERICANA & THE HEARTBREAK PRINCE: damn. Some of these lyrics give me red vibes. I’m not sure why but the fighting/winning part reminds me of tell me why?? maybe I love fearless too much

PAPER RINGS: BRUH giving me 80s vibes. I’m loving the guitar riffs and how her voice sounds sorta distant (a little masked but sounds good and gives a whole new vibe) in the verse? THE CHORUS SLAPS. I love this and this makes me believe in love even more. and the fact that she’s talking about marriage makes me so baby🥺🥺 and the way she says baby boy🥺🥺 easily one of my faves so far.

CORNELIA STREET: I’m not even done listening to this song and I love it so much already. I absolutely love the concept of presenting the dualities of love. I love everything about it and I’m obsessed with the production and instrumentals. ALSO THIS SONG IS TAKING ME TO BRIDGE CITY. that vibrato>>>>

DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS: Wowwww. I have no words. this was one of the songs I was most excited to hear and it exceeded my expectations.

LONDON BOY: I love how she’s using British slang like fancy and mate. also giving me KOMH vibes but it’s so different at the same time. a 100% BOP

SOON YOU’LL GET BETTER (ft. Dixie Chicks): I think we all really felt just a fraction of the pain Taylor was in during these moments. The Dixie chicks sounded very beautiful and soothing and the whole song sounded almost like a lullaby. extremely beautiful lyrics and vocals and I love how raw it is with very few instruments and all the feels. my heart really goes out to you here Taylor. I’m so glad you’ve gotten stronger in the midst of all of your hardships.

FALSE GOD: I love how this song incorporates the idea of knowing, not even in hindsight, that a potential relationship may fail, but you jump in anyway and try to do your best to maintain it. it really shows that we do lose our minds when we’re in love

YNTCD: simple but effective. already heard it so no first impressions here. great MV and love the glaad reference

AFTERGLOW: wow!!!! I love this one. the bridge is phenomenal and probably one of my favorite bridges so far. now I gotta memorize the lyrics

ME! (ft. Brendon Urie): an excellent lead single. it really shows the transition in sound, motifs and color scheme between rep and lover also Brendon’s dancing in the MV is so pure.

IT’S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND: this song is so precious🥺 really highlights the beauty and wholesomeness of friendship

DAYLIGHT: the red reference did it for me and I’m a huge fan of red. An excellent last track. I’m so happy she used more golden imagery which was used in rep a bit. also the fact she said burning red makes me SO excited for the re-recordings if her old albums

[pixelbatsy]

92 things!

yiKes im so late to this but i was tagged by @craighsiao, @kittenmusicals, @pbophelia, @zigisbisexual, and @mermaidwarriorqueen yall are so crazy i love yall thank u w all of my heart :’)))

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: my mom 3. Text message: "dont watch princess bride” w a pic of it buffering from my friend lmao 4. Song you listened to: fetish by selena gomez my newest bop 5. Time you cried: an hour ago bc of my shit eyebrows that got Ruined!

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: lol

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: lol no

8. Been cheated on: LOL 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: hooyeah 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: not yet djfakld

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. millennial pink lol 13. periwinkle 14. maroon

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: hooooo boy yeAH irl and on tumblr!! 16. Fallen out of love: specifically w thomas hunt sry bb 17. Laughed until you cried: me 24/7 18. Found out someone was talking about you: hajdhf yeah but she cried and apologized so we’re cool now 19. Met someone who changed you: omg yes so much 20. Found out who your friends are: yesyeysyes i luv them 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: who still uses fb

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: none?? 23. Do you have any pets: an inside cat, 3 strays outside that we just feed and they just chill out here, and also some fish that are like 6 years old 24. Do you want to change your name: i wanna switch my first and middle name 

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i went on vacation in florida and new orleans with my best friends hfjakdhf 26. What time did you wake up: 12:30 my sleeping schedule is fucked 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching makeup vids lol 28. Name something you can’t wait for: TRR CHAPTER 15!!!!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 30 mins ago idk 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my ability to talk to people bc my anxiety!! ahhaha!!!! 31. What are you listening to right now: FETISH BY SELENA GOMEZ A BOP!! 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no?? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my fukxign eyebrows that the lady messed up ughggjkhsd 34. Most visited Website: is this even a question lmao tumblr and youtube 35. Mole/s: ugh i have one on my stomach and it bothers the shit out of me but i have more in other places im just too lazy to look 36. Mark/s: do cat scratch scars count bc i got a lot of those 37. Childhood dream: my mom told me my 1st grade teacher asked what i wanted to be and i remembered the episode of curious george that i watched before leaving the house and said an ice cream girl in the park but either that or become ariel 38. Hair color: rly dark brown but in the sun it turns rly light like into like honey brown idek 39. Long or short hair: ive had both but long hair is such a chore so short bc i have like medium rn 40. Do you have a crush on someone: who needs that when ur already married to henry cavill but chris powell, drake, the prince, maxwell, dick grayson, jason todd... 41. What do you like about yourself: i DID like my eyebrows smh its ok theyll grow back 42. Piercings: lol i didnt even get my ears pierced so none 43. Blood type: who are u identity theft fuk off m8 44. Nickname: CATLYN, kk, kalina bc me and my friend have a 824 snap streak and its our #goals ship name 45. Relationship status: single married to henry cavill i even had to organize my own wedding for a project in floral design sophomore year 46. Zodiac: cancer im a crybaby ik 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show/s: pretty little liars, grimm, young justice, the big bang theory, two broke girls, sherlock, and family feud lmao 49. Tattoos: i want somethin smol but not yet 50. Right or left hand: i was gonna be a lefty but my daycare person literally treated me like shit and made me use my right hand so now im a righty and she got her ass fired :)) not like i remember anything tho lmao

51. Surgery: ortho surgery bc my mouth was too small and my teeth were so fucked up but braces gave me a glo up lol 52. Hair dyed in different color: omg no but i have these rly cool brown streaks on the side of my head and its also underneath my hair but its rly pretty ppl always ask me about it bc its like genetic idk its cool 53. Sport: i fucking live for watching football om Fg

55. Vacation: im guessing this is where ive been?? so uh hawaii, florida, mississippi, louisiana (and bish i been to shreveport, louisiana home of my boi jake mckenzie dshfjs), texas aka my home, las vegas, california, cozumel, jamaica, belize, and soon the bahamas!! 56. Pair of trainers: oh my god i have like 30+ pairs of shoes i love shoes!!

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: nothing rn i ate steak for dinner tho 58. Drinking: water! 59. I’m about to: start watching a youtube video 61. Waiting for: my bday party w my friends on wednesday (lowkey those choices chapters too i wish my bb chris powell could wish me happy bday :’)) 62. Want: a BIG FAT bank account 63. Get married: to a nice rich husband yuh finished the sentence

64. Career: im a senior in hs and i got accepted into my pharm tech class aaaah were gonna get to go to hospitals and and wear scrubs and shit im so excited i wanna be a pharmacist or like somewhere in the med field bc they make BANK and also they help ppl :’)) 65. Hugs or kisses: from my future bb kisses 66. Lips or eyes: eyes yus 67. Shorter or taller: im 5′5 so im smol and theyre tol 68. Older or younger: mmm i prefer older but only like a year younger if theyre worth it dhfgsk 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: this is so hard but arms bc abs arent a requirement but arms,,,, yes 71. Sensitive or loud: how am i both sensitive and loud (tru) 72. Hook up or relationship: lol relationship i want it all 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant but troublemaker when im feelin big mood

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: uh kinda 75. Drank hard liquor: not yET LMAOOO 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope 77. Turned someone down: jkasjdf lowkey yeah 78. Sex in the first date: no omfg sfdhgj 79. Broken someone’s heart: wym 24/7 lmao jk no 80. Had your heart broken: by many fanfics lord lol 81. Been arrested: nonoono 82. Cried when someone died: im making animals count so yes 83. Fallen for a friend: almost but skrtskrr were still friends

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: if i try really hard YUH 85. Miracles: 11:11 twice a day for extra good luck yuh 86. Love at first sight: lol no 87. Santa Claus: yeah until i was like 14 88. Kiss on the first date: YUH WHY NOT if theyre not shit 89. Angels: meh not really

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: omg irl alina and caroline my bbs and online @evisms i rly love u,, so much 91. Eyecolor: brown 92. Favorite movie: the man from uncle that ive seen 7 times!!, wonder woman!!, ex machina, hidden figures, coraline, and moana

im not gonna tag anyone bc prolly the entire choices population has done this but hit it up if u wanna!!

[lcncastersarchive-blog]

random headcanons.

describe how they would spend a stormy, overcast/rainy day.

depends on his mood, and the temperature. if the day is cold, he’ll probably spend it inside, finding different ways to amuse himself considering he can never focus on one thing for too long. chances are he’ll be lounging about on twitter, watching the telly, playing games, working on his music, or even finger painting should the fancy strike him. he’ll also be wreaking immense havoc as well, considering how messy he can be when left to his own devices. if someone’s around to distract him, that helps. if the day is warm, though, he might actually go out and splash around in the puddles. c: he doesn’t like thunder and lightning – that frightens him, and he’ll undoubtedly be hiding under his bed.

what is the character afraid of?

so many things. so, so many things. mostly of being alone. seems a bit cliche, but he’s always so like… vibrant, so loud, so bright; one of his biggest strengths is his ability to draw people in, his charisma, and how good he is in a crowd/how much he loves being surrounded by others. there’s more to it than that, though, i suppose — more to it than just his tendency to gravitate towards crowded places, or big groups of people. he doesn’t want to be alone emotionally, either. he doesn’t want to fuck up so badly (as he always tends to) that everyone just like…decides he isn’t worth dealing with anymore/wasting their time on. he isn’t a “grown up” and he doesn’t want to be, but he isn’t a child either, and he’s afraid that it’s not something that anyone will cope with.

he’s also afraid of the dark. like, don’t laugh at him, but he’s afraid of just…perpetual, impregnable darkness. he’s not worried when the lights are out, as long as there’s street lamps shining in from outside, or the moon, or just something to break it, but if it’s pitch black? no thank you, not going to happen.

the thing that he’s probably most afraid of is becoming his parents, though, with sort of correlates with internalizing a fear and making it more about his own actions than anything. he doesn’t want to abandon everyone he loves. he doesn’t want to be his cold mother, who cares more about her own ambitions than she does about her family. he doesn’t want to be selfish, and he doesn’t want to be a manipulated push-over like his father. he doesn’t want anyone to tell him how to live his life, but he doesn’t know how to live it on his own either. so far he’s done a shit job of not being just like them, but he still fights. he still fights because that is probably the worst possible outcome.

how do they deal with bad memories?

he ignores them, doesn’t talk about them, refuses to let anyone uncover them. if kai ever tells you about his past, then you are one of the very few people that he trusts more than anything tbh. it’s just easier to ignore that bad things have happened in his life, easier to sweep it under the rug in his mind and pretend it never happened than it is to address them and make them real. even when he feelsl ike they’re crushing him. even when someone asks.

what is their role in a horror movie?

the comic relief, obviously. only issue with that is the fact that he would undoubtedly be one of the first few to bite it, because he’s too busy laughing at his own jokes to care about the axe-wielding murderer.

how do they hide their secrets?

behind smiles, laughter, and generally acting as if he’s fine when in all reality he’s probably one of the furthest people from it. it’s easy for kai to marginalize his own issues and pretend that they aren’t happening/didn’t happen, and it’s easy to fool people into believing it’s the truth. he’s a great actor, really — an amazing actor. to the point of it being a fault.

which of the seven deadly sins do they relate to the most?

wrath. kai is quick to anger, and though he’s even quicker under normal circumstances to be okay again, there are some cases in which he will never forgive you. take his parents, for instance — he loves them, yes, but he also hates them. like he doesn’t know how it works, holding two such feuding emotions inside of him all the time, but he can’t pretend that anything they’ve ever done is okay with him. there are a few other people in his world that have provoked that kind of anger, and it isn’t as uncommon as it might seem.

would they ever wish on a falling star? if so, what would they wish?

as kai would say, “wishes get lost” and stars falling is only beautiful on account of the fact that he believes it’s because they don’t want to be alone anymore. if they hit earth and they don’t shatter, then they won’t be, and he’s glad for that. glad enough to smile, and glad enough to not feel like he needs to make a wish on someone else’s happiness. in short, he thinks it’d be selfish. it’s the star that’s important here, not him

what do they refuse to budge on? what are they stubborn about?

is ‘everything’ an appropriate answer? because that’s pretty much the truth. kai can be incredibly, incredibly stubborn, for no other reason than he hates to admit when he’s wrong. generally speaking, it can happen over even the most petty of things, and with that stubbornness comes his temper. it’s almost better when he’s angry, because there’s a good chance that his feelings will make him see the light a lot faster than he would otherwise. there aren’t any specific things that immediately come to mind that he’s particularly stubborn about (other than the fact that marshmallows are evil and ninja turtles really do live in the sewers), but as a general rule, expect him to argue. a lot.

name one or more of their bad habits.

tapping his feet or effectively ‘twiddling his thumbs.’ kai is in a near constant state of motion, and it can be extremely irritating when one is exposed to it for extended periods of time. he also tends to pick at his clothes and sometimes his skin, and his hair is always being touched/played with, which makes him seem unkempt and/or jittery. another habit of his is rarely to never thinking before he speaks, which tends to get him into a lot more trouble than he would be in if he just took the time to consider what he was saying before he let it come out of his mouth. he always leaves the toothpaste uncapped, and when he’s in the kitchen and getting things out of the fridge, he tends to allow the door to hang open for obnoxiously long periods of time.

any addictions? ( food, sex, power/control, etc )

um, not really on the food front. he eats a lot, but i wouldn’t say there’s anything he’s particularly addicted to, unless you count animal crackers (his favourite snack). sex…sex is a tricky topic, because kai is an extremely sexual person, but i don’t know that it could be classified as an actual addiction? like, if he can avoid it, he won’t go without, but he probably wouldn’t completely come apart if he didn’t have it (don’t quote me on this because he’s never actually gone without for very long, even in situations when he probably should have lmfao, so. idk). i would definitely say he needs to be in control/have the power in most, if not all, situations; if he feels like he’s at a disadvantage, or like someone else is holding the reins, he gets a bit reckless. like, he really, really hates not being in control. that’s the only true addiction i’ve noticed in him, aside from the extra af sex habits.

is there a certain scent that brings about nostalgia? if so, describe a memory this scent brings back.

cotton. lemon. some expensive perfume that he wouldn’t know where to begin to describe even if someone asked him to. it reminds him of his mother, and of the time before work became more important than their family; before his parents were gone more than they were home, and before kai felt so very left behind, even though he didn’t understand the emotion at the time (he still doesn’t). there isn’t necessarily a specific memory so much as a myriad of them, and believe it or not, his mum actually used to tell him that she loves him when she hugged him. talk about nostalgia.

how do they sleep?

kai usually sleeps on his side curled up into a little ball when he’s on his own, though when he falls asleep he’s actually sprawled out to cover as much space as possible. it isn’t until he’s actually asleep that he changes positions without realizing it (this is different when he’s with a partner; if he’s with a partner, he likes to be the big spoon okay). when he’s in a deep enough sleep, like REALLY deep (which happens rarely), he’ll make little noises and sometimes actually say the names of people who are really important to him/he loves a lot. it’s quiet, but it has been known to be heard. he occasionally has “puppy dreams” during which he’ll twitch or kick his feet, and he sleeps so lightly he wakes himself up.

what are their pyjamas like?

kai usually only sleeps in his underwear tbh. or naked, depending on the situation. idk. as little clothes as possible basically. he isn’t opposed to sleeping in sweats, but he avoids it if possible.

what do they dream about usually?

confusing things. kai honestly dreams strangely, more in colors, feelings, sounds — a lot of piano notes, perhaps not so weirdly. most of the time he barely remembers what he dreamt of, but occasionally he’ll have one that’s quite vivid. nightmares, should he have them, will fuck him up for days, and those have been happening more and more; a few times a week, if he’s unlucky.

how neat/tidy is the character?

he isn’t. an absolute mess, really. he isn’t like dirty, but he’s super cluttered and scatterbrained, and the hamper could be directly beside him and he’d still toss his clothes on the floor. he’s terribly disorganized, and while he can usually make it to the kitchen, don’t ever ask him to wash dishes. it’s a miracle he’s even capable of taking care of himself sometimes.

how affectionate is the character?

extremely. like i mean extremely. if he’s with someone that he’s comfortable showing affection to, he’ll probably want to be touching them almost all the time. that doesn’t mean he will be, it just means he’ll probably at least be thinking about it, and everything else is a testament to his self-control. not only that, but he likes to be touched himself, and he will do anything he can to get pets from people. platonic touches on his tummy or his arms or his back help to soothe him, whether it be from distress, or just from his perpetual over-energized state that is constantly hanging over him. want kai to hold even remotely still for you? show him affection. pet him. or, alternatively, accept the affection he’s probably trying to give.

[yahoo-the-dagger-blog]

NCAA tournament viewing guide: Ranking Sunday's slate from most to least compelling

There’s no question which day should be the best of the opening week of the NCAA tournament.

Sunday’s slate features a handful of compelling games pitting highly seeded blue bloods against dangerous underdogs with a chip on their shoulders.

Below is a look at each of Sunday’s eight games ranked from most to least compelling. The list starts with a second-round game pitting two programs that have seen each other in this round before not too long ago.

1. Kentucky (2) vs. Wichita State (10) – 2:40 p.m. ET , CBS: Three years after top-seeded Wichita State fell in the second round to talent-laden, under-seeded Kentucky in an Elite Eight-caliber classic, the roles are now reversed. This time it’s the Wildcats who deserve better than drawing a 31-win Shockers team ranked in the top 15 in every major advanced metric. Kentucky boasts at least three future first-round picks, but the Wildcats will have to be locked in to survive this test. Wichita State has won 10 NCAA tournament games the past five years despite being better than a seventh seed only once. The Shockers will not back down and will not be intimidated.

John Calipari and Kentucky have a test on their hands in Wichita State. (Getty)

2. Kansas (1) vs. Michigan State (9) – 5:15 p.m., CBS: Before Friday, there was little reason to believe 14-loss Michigan State was a Sweet 16 threat this year. Then the injury-plagued, undersized Spartans dismantled Miami, the latest reminder never to count out a Tom Izzo team in March. That performance could easily be the outlier in a 34-game sample size, but it should still have Kansas on high alert. Miles Bridges is one of the few players who can match up physically with Josh Jackson, Nick Ward will be a load for Landen Lucas to handle in the paint and freshmen Cassius Winston and Joshua Langford both are coming off strong performances.

3. Louisville (2) vs. Michigan (7) – 12:10 p.m., CBS: Michigan’s charmed postseason run will encounter its most daunting obstacle. The Wolverines will meet powerful Louisville in a rematch of the 2013 national title game won by the Cardinals. The glamour matchup in this game will pit Michigan’s efficient, torrid-shooting offense against Louisville’s ferocious, disruptive defense. Point guard Derrick Walton Jr. has torched opposing defenses, but the Cardinals will pose a different challenge. They can pressure the ball and deny passing lanes beyond the 3-point arc because rim protectors Mangok Mathiang and Anas Mahmoud provide a last line of defense.

4. UCLA (3) vs. Cincinnati (6) – 9:40 p.m., TBS: They both have won 30 games this season, but UCLA and Cincinnati could not have accomplished that more differently. The Bruins wants to play at a break-neck pace. The Bearcats want to methodically grind out wins. The Bruins rely on a dynamic offense loaded with shooters. The Bearcats’ backbone is a tough, aggressive defense. One factor that could play in Cincinnati’s favor is the injuries that have beset UCLA. Ike Anigbogu, the team’s best rim protector, missed Friday’s game with a sprained foot. T.J. Leaf is still dealing with a lingering ankle sprain and Lonzo Ball took a hard first-half fall on Friday night.

5. Duke (2) vs. South Carolina (7) – 8:40 p.m., TNT: South Carolina won its first NCAA tournament game in 44 years on Friday night. Now the Gamecocks will try to get another and advance to the Sweet 16. Playing about 100 miles from campus in Greenville should give South Carolina a boost, but crowd support may not be enough to make up for Duke’s talent advantage. The Gamecocks will throw their elite defense at Grayson Allen, Luke Kennard and Jayson Tatum. Then they’ll have to hope to find other scorers to support SEC player of the year Sindarius Thornwell.

6. Oregon (3) vs. Rhode Island (11) – 7:10 p.m., TBS: Don’t let Rhode Island’s double-digit seed fool you. The Rams will be a much greater challenge for Oregon than opening-round opponent Iona was. Rhode Island enters this game with plenty of momentum, having finished the regular season on a win streak, won the Atlantic 10 tournament and thumped sixth-seeded Creighton in the first round of the NCAA tournament. The Rams are most comfortable at a methodical pace where opponents have to score against a stingy defense that contests the 3-point arc aggressively yet leans on Hassan Martin to challenge shots at the rim.

7. North Carolina (1) vs. Arkansas (8) – 6:10 p.m., TNT: This looked like a North Carolina romp until Roy Williams revealed some alarming news. Standout point guard Joel Berry sat out practice with an ankle injury on Saturday and is questionable for Sunday’s game. If Berry is healthy enough to play at a high level, North Carolina will be a heavy favorite. The Tar Heels have more weapons and a huge mismatch on the offensive glass as the Razorbacks are 330th in the nation in defensive rebounding percentage. If Berry can’t play, that could make handling Arkansas’ defensive pressure more difficult. Nate Britt would likely be counted on to play a bigger role.

8. Baylor (3) vs. USC (11) – 7:45 p.m., TruTV: Only a week ago, USC didn’t even know if it would make the NCAA tournament. Now the Trojans are a win away from the Sweet 16. Come-from-behind victories against Providence and SMU were very impressive, but USC would be wise not to spot Baylor a double-digit lead. The Bears are an elite offensive rebounding team that gives up almost nothing easy at the rim. They had lost six of 11 games before the NCAA tournament, but they appeared to right themselves with a strong second half Friday against New Mexico State.

More March Madness coverage from Yahoo Sports: • • Missed call, technical foul on Chris Collins doom Northwestern’s comeback bid • ‘Northwestern crying kid on a roller coaster of emotions during loss to Gonzaga • Kenny Smith becomes middle man in Charles Barkley-LaVar Ball feud

Wichita State’s Markis McDuffie (AP)

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Jeff Eisenberg is the editor of The Dagger on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at daggerblog@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter!

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