#like if we're going to make space for people to explore and try queerness on a little without having to like. declare for one side right off

[heavycreamy]

Hey Matt Gazy

This post is for Australian Journalist Matt Gazy.

Apparently you've been contacting members of our feedism/erotic weight gain community in order to discuss our very multifaceted, heavily misrepresented lifestyle.

As someone who has been in this community for 3 decades, has seen most if not all of its forms, understands the ethical connections between Feedism and Fat Liberation, and deeply cares about how folks in our community are represented to the general vanilla public, I hope that you are entering into this project/article/episode with the necessary due respect, empathy, intelligence, and kindness that you would bring to ANY oft-misunderstood and ridiculed subculture.

No one needs another sensationalist piece of journalism wilfully and lazily misrepresentating our community, sexuality, and lifestyle, which only EVER serves to further stigmatise and shame us.

We have been taken advantage of on many occasions, cast as freaks and pathetic fools with mental problems, so neither we nor the general public need more of that.

EVERY time a piece about feedism appears in the public eye, our community experiences a massive wave of trolls and judgemental, deeply fatphobic tourists coming into our online spaces and abusing us.

Please don't debase us nor yourself by making a surface level hit-piece on our community, whether intentionally or unintentionally, due to a lack of thorough research and basic respect for perspectives and life experiences outside the norm.

Feedism is INFINITELY more than simply heteronormative power play. That corner of the community represents less than 10% of what actual contemporary Feedism culture is, and ironically harbours 90% of the toxicity present in the entire culture.

Feedism is so much more than heteronormative, coercive power play. It is extremely queer, extremely feminist, extremely sensual and emotional, and is a major facet of many people's lives and psychologies.

While it may seem like simply a niche genre of porn to the casual tourist, Feedism exists outside of porn. It exists outside of kink. It exists outside of fetish. It can and should be considered an orientation, rather than simply a freaky outlier bedroom interest worthy only of reactive disgust.

Please don't be yet another unscrupulous journalist exploiting our incredibly vulnerable community for shock bait bullshit.

If you're going to try to represent us, do it comprehensively, and do it PROPERLY.

Truly speak to us. Do the work. Don't just find an extremely popular female model and falsely imagine that her experience is a stand in for ALL Feedist experiences.

If you truly want to represent Feedism, you NEED to represent it as the complex, multifaceted diaspora that it is, full of people of all kinds, all cultures, and ALL SIZES.

Should you be committed to pursuing this topic, I can offer links and connections to extremely well informed writers, thinkers, professors, and others within this community who are doing INCREDIBLE work on understanding, exploring, and expressing the deeper truths of this desire and lifestyle. There are people doing the work. You need to do it too.

We're humans. Treat us with respect, dignity, and kind curiosity.

Be better than every journalist who has come before you.

Thank you.

ps. Dear feedist pals, if you feel that what I've said here resonates with you, and mirrors your feelings at all, please feel free to reblog the shit out of this in the hopes that more visibility may help it reach its intended audience. Thanks gang ♥️🍰🍕

[allastoredeer]

No hate, just asking.

So you just personally like bottomAlastor and make every ship with him as bottom because of your personal likes. But this works the same way with bottomLucifer. People liking it and making him bottom in any ship. Or liking topAlastor and making him top in every ship. Maybe there are people who just go with trends in ship dynamics, but a lot of shippers just like it without any 'making mlm into hetero' meaning. Yes even when making Lucifer a bit more feminine since they do it in every ship simply cause more feminine Lucifer does things to them.

Exactly 👉👉 people like what they like and they don't need to defend or give me a list of reasons why they like it. I figured people liked bottom!Lucifer or top!Alastor because it scratches that itch for them (much like me with bottom!Alastor), otherwise they wouldn't be writing/drawing it at all.

It's why I don't seek out fans I disagree with or lurk on their pages/blogs to bombard them with reasons why I, personally, don't like how they depict radioapple (and because that's just a shitty thing to do in general, and no should be doing that. That's a one-way ticket to turning fandom into a very toxic place).

I keep my opinions and thoughts to my blog page for that reason. This is place where I can write about the things I like and dislike, post my art and fics, and interact with fans who share the same thoughts and feelings as I do. I'm sure a lot of fans would disagree, but, to me, most of the depictions of radioapple that I've seen come off as incredibly hetero coded, and a lot of the way Alastor is drawn/written squicks me out, especially when he tops. And that's not in the way that he's overly sexualized or anything, imma gonna sexualize that man to my heart's content, but Alastor's ace identity means a lot to me, and a lot of the time I just...don't feel it with him.

Now there's no "correct" way to write an ace character, as its a spectrum. There isn't a checklist of things you HAVE to follow. But with Alastor, especially when it's in a written work - especially when it's HIS pov - he doesn't feel ace. You can't tell that someone is ace based on how they talk or act - not usually - just like you can't assume a man is gay based on how he runs or talks, or a woman a lesbian because she has a short haircut. But in his POV, we're supposed to be in his head, we're seeing his thoughts and emotions. It's the perfect time to explore what he feels and thinks about relationships, sex, and everything in between, and yet most of the time he reads like any other non-ace character. It's like there's no real thought or consideration given to his identity and the experiences that come with it. Asexuality is more than "don't like sex" or "only like sex sometimes," there's so much more to it than that.

But I also know that this may be the first time some people are interacting or playing with an ace character, and just the fact that they're trying - however unintentionally aphobic it comes off sometimes - the effort is appreciated.

It's a real back and forth thing for me, obviously, LOL fandom culture and spaces can be so frustrating but so fascinating at the same time.

I don't think anyone is intentionally making the ship hetero, nor do they mean to - and besides, this is how I feel, and I know everyone isn't going to feel the exact same way. I'm sure there are people who see it as a very queer relationship, and I'm not going to judge or fight them over it. Everyone has different perspective, after all.

At the end of the day, I don't mind bottom!Lucifer (I see him as a switch, so he definitely enjoys bottoming), I just don't like how he's written/drawn with top!Alastor. It's the depiction of it that turns me off. I've seen top!Alastor and bottom!Lucifer art before that I have liked, but its few and far between, and overall not worth diving into to root out the few pieces I've enjoyed.

I like feminine Lucifer, but not to the extent that I've seen. I like the masculine side of him too, especially because he's a shortie. I like masculine Alastor, but I adore his feminine side. Alastor exudes so much gender, it's insane. He pulls off masculine, feminine, and even non-binary so well. He's versatile ❤️ And it aggravates me when he's depicted as super masculine and all the other stuff is toned down, if not stripped away.

But, like I said, that's why I stay in my little corner and I focus on what I enjoy. Ranting about things you don't like in fandom isn't bad, especially with fans that agree with you. It's very cathartic actually, and I've felt more connected with the fandom than I have since the show aired. it's only when you make your emotions, thoughts, and opinions other people's problems that it becomes a negative thing.

I'm not here to rain on people's parades, so I support, encourage even, that those who do like the things I dislike (and don't enjoy seeing me clown on them) block me. No hard feelings from me. I get it.

Damn, these posts really run away from me. They get so much longer than I intend XD

But anyway, I'm glad people are having fun with super feminine bottom!Lucifer and super masculine top!Alastor, that's the whole point of fandom, but it just isn't for me, at all, and I will likely continue to rant/clown on it with the fans who also share my opinion. I'm not going to shove it anyone's face of course, I'm keeping it to my blog, and I am A-okay with being blocked if that's not something people want to see 😊

[ca-suffit]

im sorry your takes are generally pretty great and i appreciate the space you make in fandom but i find the dismissal around lestat's queerness to be diminishing.

louis is a fantastic gay character and u r right about how he represents his queerness which is fabulously. he is mother he is fashion he is wife, a lot, and lestat is a lot more masc in aspects of their dynamic. louis also struggles with it, had internalized homophobia, and his relationship to his sexuality is fraught. now you can have that complexity and still be a "gay icon" sure but what i see here is a gay man existing. not every gay man existing has to be ~iconic~. louis is working on himself.

lestat is a different person and is going out there to make a mark on culture actively, regardless of why. he's not putting on a dress for five seconds (which btw was still pretty impactful in context but ok), he is being meaningfully gnc and making art. this is what queer culture is. it's frustrating to see this element diminished like it's just a meme or a bunch of people being thirsty.

im all for critiquing fandom being weirdos about it but i think the showrunners are doing something spectacular and pretending like fans are making lestat into something he is not just isn't the vibe.

reading this made me realize that I left out a sentence in this ask, so it did come off differently than I intended. I'd meant to say there's already been a lot of exploration of characters / ppl like lestat, but there's never been a character like louis before. I wasn't rly ever talking about lestat's queerness itself, I was talking about how he's prioritized bcuz he's white.

if u personally identity with him in this then that's ur right to, obviously. no group is a monolith and I was never trying to say one way is more "right" than the other. I rly do apologize if it came across like that, cuz I can see why it did.

"he's not putting on a dress for five seconds (which btw was still pretty impactful in context but ok)"

I don't rly know what u mean here bcuz within the show, nobody comments on the dress. ppl react to the baby but everything we know of the dress otherwise was only revealed by carol cutshall bts. I don't know what impact ur meaning here. to the tv audience, sure, but the NOLA audience?? or is it the fact he designed it in the first place.

tbh the thing I most noticed was that once again a white, european immigrant got to be center stage in an event that louis, as a black, louisiana native, isn't (like the card game lestat already had a place at more favored than louis earlier in S1). he also was able to wear that dress in public without public scorn (being european prbly helped here too, he's "other'd" but not the same way as louis is "other'd" for being black), which is something louis could never have done and actually survived at all. it's not that lestat doesn't experience homophobia otherwise, but he's still got a lot more room to confront it than louis, claudia, or armand would have, as ppl who would be confronting homophobia *and* racism with no access to white privilege (claudia literally dies in the same hour we see lestat confront a homophobe otherwise on his and louis' behalf and "win").

idk what they're going to explore for S3 yet, but what we've seen so far is....not that deep tbh. it's not even especially "queer." we're aware he is so we know it is, but straight men have worn makeup and flashy outfits and done homoerotic shit as musicians before too. very often. nothing we've seen from lestat so far has been pushing any boundary as a queer artist or making any kind of statement. I'm not trying to sound like a total bitch here, but a lot of what ur saying is pushing this white fandom agenda of the "importance" of so much that any white, queer character does that....just isn't. lestat's image and sound is taking a lot from other ppl in real music history who *were* doing groundbreaking things at the time, straight or not, but what he's doing is just wearing it as a costume rn. his lyrics even say "I'm an actor / in my makeup." like I said, S3 in full will bring more to the table, obviously, but for what we've seen so far....this hasn't said anything in any objective way that's "deep." u can still like it and identity with it, but idk how u'd argue that it's doing anything tbh. ur welcome to do it tho, I'm not trying to shut down the conversation here. I'm just giving my perspective. I *do* actually think this is stuff we should talk about exactly *bcuz* fandom rides so hard for it all the time. it should be explored why that is, what's the logic behind it. I rly am interested.

edit: wanted to add too that p much everyone we see in this show is queer and creative so literally why is nobody ever saying all this about louis' photography, claudia's acting and interest in fashion (or her general observations on the world thru so many diaries that are referenced in multiple ways as she's not around anymore to speak otherwise), armand's theatre work, madeleine's dressmaking. that's usually why ppl comment on lestat, bcuz he's the most noticed and praised but he's literally not the only one doing it at all.

[copperbadge]

Sam, how did you find your therapist and build such a good working relationship? Every attempt I’ve made at therapy seems to fizzle out after a few months… and no therapist has ever understood the RSD aspect of my ADHD, which makes it all feel a little worse every time I try.

I mean, I think really we're still building it -- I haven't had her more than a couple of months and functionally it's been an every-two-weeks situation most of the time because we keep having to move/cancel. I don't know that I can really speak intelligently to building a relationship with a therapist because this is the first time I've ever done it where I was an adult and in control. As for finding one...

Chicago has a group called Clarity Clinic, which is like a WeWork for mental health professionals -- they offer scheduling, billing, and IT/office space to local people who I think are mostly independent operators otherwise. They have a directory that is highly filterable, so I found my psychiatrist there by filtering to stuff like Adult ADHD and medication management. He's great, but he didn't want to be my therapist and I didn't want him to. When I decided on therapy, I asked him if he knew anyone he could recommend, since he knew what my deal was in terms of personality, behavior, etc.

So he gave me a couple of names of fellow Clarity Clinic folks and I had a look on the website and chose the one that sounded like she'd get on best with me. I think I struck it lucky to be honest -- she's young (compared to me) and has ADHD, and she's very familiar with disability discourse, spoon theory, etc, even fandom to an extent. If I were to go looking today I might look more at therapists who specialize in twice-exceptional individuals, but she's good enough with what I'm aiming at that I don't want to change.

So the best advice I have is if you're being treated for other stuff by someone you trust I'd ask them, but also look for someone experienced with adult ADHD, and I'd look for someone on the younger side who's more likely to be understanding of neurodivergent needs. (I also recommend filtering to queer-friendly therapists if you can; I didn't necessarily need that but it means they're likely to be generally accepting and probably have more liberal politics. With the caveat that in shady places like BetterHealth, "LGBTQIA" counselors are sometimes homophobic creeps with an axe to grind.)

Building the relationship has taken proactivity on my part -- ensuring that I always have an appointment on the books (we book out about six weeks in advance now, because we know one of us will likely need to cancel/rebook at times), making sure that I have either an aim for treatment or at least something to talk about, etc. I think in your case probably having a list of things you want to deal with, so that you can check some boxes up top, might help.

I would definitely open with "I have ADHD and I need help with [aspects of that]; I also have RSD and I need to work with someone who respects that diagnosis and understands how to help with it." I went into mine saying "I have ADHD and I'm also struggling with some really big emotion, so I'm looking for help with those, but also like...I'm not really sure what therapy can offer. I've had some bad experiences in the past but they were all when I was a child, so I'm trying to explore some options." Her reaction was a combination of sympathy and a discussion of the kinds of things we might work on, which helped a great deal.

But yeah, I think it starts with establishing right from the jump what you want and need, and then spending time making sure that you both stay on top of that until you find a rhythm. We're still finding our rhythm, but it's getting easier as I'm learning to be clearer about what I want and more comfortable with being a participant instead of someone therapy just happens to.

[weewoo-buckley]

going through the 9-1-1 tag after the latest episode is intense. like I really think a lot of y'all need to take a step back, process your feelings away from the fandom bubble that's amping each other up, and then decide if this latest ep is something that disappointed you enough to stop watching. honestly Tommy got way more screen time and development than several of Buck's exes. I would've been happy to see the characters grow into each other, and I'm sad that the writers decided to make them not work out, but it also isn't like. the end times because this one queer relationship didn't work out for buck. I can't imagine Tommy being anything but important to Buck and his story moving forward even if he doesn't continue to get screen time. He's very specifically framed as similar standing to Abby as far as influencing Buck and his growth. I'm glad neither of them was the bad guy in the break up and it was more of a "we're in different places" type of thing

Also, like many fandom spaces, there's a lot of moral accusations going around to try and justify people's opinions. Personally I think an actor saying he wants to kiss and have relationships with a bunch of men on screen doesn't mean he's biphobic. Like exploring his sexuality further would be a good step for buck getting more comfortable in his identity. and we know that boy has always had a libido

anyways, it's fine to hate the new episode, it's fine to love it. do what you want but please don't harass actors and writers about it <3

[mermaidsirennikita]

a while ago i remember you talking about books that felt more like adult fantasy but the writers were probably pushed into ya because it's more marketable, would you say the revrse in happening nowadays or is it still happening?

I still hear about authors who say that their agents ask them if an adult fantasy concept could be aged down for YA, so I think that's happening, but probably not as much as it once did.

I also think that a lot of younger authors are living in a world in which YA fantasy is still king—and for A TEENY fraction of authors, it still is, right? I know of a couple YA fantasy authors who got BIG advances (and good for them, but damn they were huge). But they are very much in the minority there. However, when you're working on your draft, when your agent is shopping your MS, it's easy to get big dreams about how huge your book is gonna be. And it's also easy to twist that into something where it's like, if you don't get it you've been overlooked or betrayed or lost or are they outlier, when in fact you're in the minority in that you got a pub deal, and you're in the majority in that your deal isn't anything mindblowing. This isn't a "your lucky to even be tradpubbed" take, because I also think that putting tradpub on a pedestal helps no one. It's just how I see it.

THAT BEING SAID... I do think that because YA sales are still more trad-dependent than, say, romance (not a lot of teens have their own KU accounts, I imagine) this leads to the toxic idea that there's this AMAZING WORLD where your YA Fantasy makes you famous, and if it doesn't you've lost, and it leads to authors still conforming to the YA is King mentality and producing an MS that would probably work a lot better for adults while selling it as a teen thing.

I can think of one book that I will not name—I respect the author. I tried to read it recently. That book would have worked a lot better as an adult fantasy novel, to me. The heroine was supposed to be this big, heavy, powerful character, and her being the age she was, and her issues and the violence of it all being directed towards teens versus adults (and teens can read adult books and adults can read YA, let's be clear, I'm talking categories and character ages, etc here) felt weird.

I will also add—the character in that book ended up in a poly relationship. I did not find that super well-explored for the two men, personally. But I do have high standards on that front. And I've gotta say; it's not that teens and The Youths can't have poly relationships. But "poly" is not a sexual orientation or gender identity, and I find that sometimes saying "poly rep"... it's true! But it's not "rep" in the same way as "queer rep" is "rep", as "BIPOC rep" is rep. Because to be in a polyamorous relationship is to make a decision, right? You grow into and work into being able to have a functional poly relationship. It takes a special type of person and it takes a lot of WORK, and I frankly don't buy that anyone in their early twenties or below can do that work lmao.

Which doesn't mean they won't try, but when it's in a YA novel—I have NO problem with teens reading it. I'm just kind of like "REALLY. REALLY. A LONG-TERM POLY COMMITMENT BETWEEN 18 YEAR OLDS. SURE JAN." Like, come on. I respect poly relationships, I know poly people, TRUST ME. I think a solid poly relationship is probably one of the most stable types of relationships out there. But holy shit. Trying to sell me on people that young making it work and that being meant to be for them just feels like... WHY WASN'T THIS ADULT???

And hey, I'll say—as I write this, I know that I I love Sierra Simone's Thornchapel series, where there's an MMF relationship between people in their early twenties. BUT THAT RELATIONSHIP... lmao. The way in which the HEA was achieved speaks to how aware Sierra was that these people were MESSED. UP. Same with Lyonesse, which involves Isolde in her early twenties. If we're going to those spaces, we aren't in YA territory. Or even CLOSE.

I think there's still this idea that YA fantasy is more dignified than fantasy romance, and I think that comes from a certain type of YA author and I think it's toxic as hell and untrue. But yeah, I still think some of them are encouraged to age down or choose to, for practical or personal or market reasons.

Then again, I think a book like Road of Bones would've been made a YA novel ten years ago, and it's not, so YAY!

[celestemagnoliathewriter]

I’m honestly sick and tired of people claiming everyone is bi if they find the same sex attractive. JKR wanted us to know who was attractive and who wasn’t, since the story was from Harry’s pov everyone has put a label on his sexuality. Like can we not normalize appreciating the same sex without labels? I remember being teased for being bi if I said a girl or woman was beautiful and it annoyed me because they automatically labeled me without asking me. Does that mean the next time I see a dog and say “that’s a good looking dog” I’ll be labeled as someone who’s attracted to animals? Just because a man thinks another man is attractive does not make him bi. Now if Harry had sexual feelings for the same sex in the book then yes he could be bi, but did we even a hint of that? No. So ppl need to stop claiming this as canon when it’s more of a fan theory.

I think there are a couple of layers to this, anon, and I apologize in advance for a long post as it led to quite the reflection on my end.

On the one hand, there's something to be said about heteronormative readings about texts, in that assuming is everyone is cishet until proven otherwise is limiting, to say the least. I'd like to gently ask you to think about the way you compared attraction to people to attraction to dogs, as that's a big leap. I understand the point you are making, and this reaction you have about being labeled as bi, attached to the reaction over the HC (not actual canon) of bi Harry, gives me pause.

By that I mean I had a very similar, sort of visceral reaction to a lot of the HCs and fan theories I found when I started participating in fandom and joined Tumblr. As the years go by I continue to reflect on these reactions, where they came from, and where I'm going next.

So let's talk about bi Harry for a minute and about some other thoughts I've had.

First, I don't think Harry is bi, based entirely on the authorial intent and the world JKR created. That's not to say we can't read it in other ways but I do think it's important to recognize that the world she created, wrote in, and promotes is fundamentally heteronormative. Yes, Dumbledore is gay, and his sexuality was revealed by JKR directly and not in any concrete depiction. You could argue that she couldn't say anything because of the time period, but let's face it - after PoA, she could publish these gargantuan books and the texts got darker. We also have to remember that just as 'men writing women' is a thing, so is 'women writing men.' JKR has admitted she's bad at writing romance. She calls several men handsome in the text, through Harry's eyes, and we do have to acknowledge the author's voice in the character.

Second, I don't think there's a reason Harry can't be bi. That is, we can definitely say he's into women (Cho, Ginny), and like many many people throughout history, they discover their sexuality later in life. There's no reason why Harry can't figure out later that he's bi. That's not saying that he is or has to be - it's more making room for this reality that I think is at the heart of what these HCs are getting to.

The reason for this is that queerness in history has been largely erased. I think there's value in trying to read texts, even if they were written in a heteronormative context, to make space for queer characters and readings. The sort of visceral reaction I see in this ask, which I shared a couple years ago, led to rethinking a lot of the way I see the role of representation and the diversity of voices in fiction, or broadly speaking, anywhere.

I do think that if we stick with a very strict reading of the text, according to what JKR planned out, then yes, we'd probably find that most everyone is cishet. But as we're occupying this space of fanfic, where we take the characters out of the texts and give them lives in missing scenes, why can't we explore queerness in them or take what we have in canon and sculpt it to find voices that have otherwise been silenced? This isn't to say they're canon - but that they can exist in canon and can be compliant or coherent.

There's another thing I want to very gently point out in your ask, anon. Why does it bother you so much?

If someone asked me that a couple years ago, I'd have said something along the lines of 'well, it's ridiculous. obviously he's straight, and assuming someone's bi or gay because they say or do x, y, z, is nonsense.' BUT, here's where I am a couple years later. Is it not the same concept to assume someone is straight because there's no specific marker that signals them as queer?

What I am trying to point to is that if it's the assumption that bothers you, then it's what (I believe) bothers those who are queer themselves. The assumption of "straight until proven otherwise" and "you must be bi because you find the same sex physically attractive" direct us to a similar pressure point. No one wants assumptions to dominate the way we are perceived, or the way a certain population is treated.

That's why, even if I read JKR's world as heteronormative across many, many categories, if I want to enter that world in a more detached sense and think of these fictional characters as real people, I will find queer characters because I find queer people in history.

Some characters are easier to do this with than others: I find writing canon Harry in the canon timeline as bi to be really hard. This might be my own heteronormativity speaking. I'm extremely aware of how frequently I say the wrong thing or word something in a way that isn't exactly right, but I am trying.

Writing bi Harry later in his life? Easier. Definitely easier, because of our own historical context. It wouldn't surprise me if a teenage boy in the 90s would struggle with, suppress, or even ignore bisexuality in himself. In the 00s? 10s? 20s? Different story.

I'm still not going to write bi Harry though, partly because I don't like writing Harry, and there are other characters that I find more interesting to explore with their sexualities.

But back to your point, anon. Though I understand your frustration, having been there myself, I would encourage you to understand why people say these things. There's a desire for representation, which is sorely needed, and has been historically lacking. There's a desire to normalize--or, perhaps put in a better way--be more accepting/less surprised when queer people simply exist.

If nothing else, like I have gone through my own growing pains of trying to be more open minded (a decade-long process at least), I would encourage you to do the same. I'm not saying you aren't open minded or accepting - let me be clear about that - though the way you phrased some things did lead to my own reflections about how I've thought about this.

Last, but not least, I do agree with the frustration over claiming things as canon versus fanon. There's a layer in the middle though, of canon compliant, that is a hot, hot mess.

Is bi Harry canon? No. Is bi Harry canon compliant? Why not? Why can't Harry figure out that all those times he thought a man was handsome was actually sexual attraction? No reason he can't figure that out and be happily married to Ginny. No reason he can't figure that out and be a devoted father and godfather.

I've been going on and on for a while. I suppose I'll stop here before my exhaustion leads me to say anything I'll regret. I do hope I've given you something to think about, and I'll be continuing to reflect on it as I keep going, as I hope you will do too.

[denimbex1986]

'I expect Andrew Haigh to be a bit bleary-eyed this morning. After all, it’s the day after the British Independent Film Awards and Haigh’s stunning new film, All of Us Strangers, has just walked off with seven awards, including best supporting performance for Paul Mescal, best director and best screenplay for Haigh and the big prize of the night, best British independent film. Surely he was out celebrating? “Oh, I’m too old for drinking and having fun," he laughs. "I was in bed by about 12.30 after a cup of tea.”

Adam, the protagonist of All of Us Strangers (played by Andrew Scott), is similarly partying-aversed – initially at least. As the film opens, he’s alone in his near-empty tower block in London, where he spends his nights gazing longingly across the city or watching archive clips from Top of the Pops while struggling to write a screenplay about the death of his parents. His lonely existence is punctuated one night by Harry (Paul Mescal), his only neighbour, who turns up at his door drunk and horny.

A lonely gay man longing for connection puts us in mind of Weekend, Haigh’s breakout feature from 2012, although a hint of the supernatural creeps into the new film. While researching his screenplay, Adam goes back to his childhood home to find his mother and father still living there, despite having died in a car crash when he was 12. “At one point, I was nervous that people would just see this as Weekend Part 2 with ghosts.” laughs Haigh. “I was like, ‘Oh God, I don't want that to be what this film is.'” Haigh agrees that the films are in conversation in some way, though. “Weekend was 12 years ago, and as I've got older, there were more things that I've wanted to explore about queerness and the nature of love. And I've poured that all into the new film.”

One theme that links the two films is the feeling of being outside of society as a queer person. “As queer people, we're all trying to understand romantic relationships because we haven't had a framework of what those relationships can be,” explains Haigh. “You know, you grow up in a family where everybody is straight, and everyone at school seems to be straight, and you're not, so you're unsure how you fit in with any of that. So I think it can take a lot of queer people a long time to understand what it is that they want. But it is not that you're inherently lonely because you're gay, which is what people used to think. It's just that the world says we are that kind of person.”

All of Us Strangers is based on Strangers by Japanese author Taichi Yamada, which tells a similar narrative about a heterosexual writer. What drew Haigh to the story initially was its central concept of meeting your parents as they were when you were a child and you are now an adult. “The idea of being able to go back and meet your mum and dad on the same level would be an incredible experience,” says Haigh. “Often we think our parents should know everything. But then, when you get older and you look back, you're like 'Jesus, my parents were 32 when I was a kid. I was a mess when I was in my early 30s. Why did I expect my parents to know everything?'”

Haigh suspects that children’s inability to fully see their parents' point of view is what makes family dynamics so tricky to navigate. “If love is, in general, let's say, about truly knowing the other person, it's no surprise to me that familiar relationships can be quite complicated, because there is so much that stops us from being honest with each other within those relationships," he says. "So to me, to have this sort of space, separate from reality, where you can find a common ground feels so appealing. I mean, it's wish fulfillment, obviously, because it’s never going to happen, but it feels like something that would be special.”

All of Us Strangers is undoubtedly Haigh’s most visually complex film. But like all his work it’s centred on great performances. Working with actors is clearly something he relishes and Andrew Scott is an actor he’s wanted to work with for the longest time. “Obviously Andrew has had a lot of lead roles in theatre, and he's done a lot of stuff on television, he has been in a lot of films, but I've never seen him be the centre of a film. And I've always thought, Why? Because he's such a good actor.” Haigh also felt Scott would understand this world. "In real life, Andrew and I have similar experiences," says Haigh. "Andrew is gay, so we understand what that experience was like growing up. Plus he really responded to the script. So it was just a no-brainer, really. He's a really talented actor, he loves the script, and he understands it. It's like the three things you want more than anything else.”

Paul Mescal matches Scott’s performance every step of the way. Haigh points to Mescal’s eyes as being the key to his performance. “It just feels there's a whole world going on behind there that you want to sort of understand; there's a soulfulness to him. And with a role like Harry, you don't know a huge amount about him. But Paul lets you know that he wants him to be compassionate towards Adam, and you also get the sense of his own demons. It’s all there in the eyes and I feel like Paul is so good at communicating two things at the same time, one thing on the surface, and then something else that's underneath. And that's rare."'

[lambishep]

AGE IN BIO/ PINNED. WRITING 18+ DOES NOT COUNT.

Blank/ ageless blogs are blocked blogs. I will not make any exceptions. EVER!

DO NOT INTERACT

if you think any kind of human is better than another,

if you think you have the right to make decisions over another person and their body,

if you struggle with respecting people who are different from you,

if you do not support sex workers, content creators, and artists,

if you do not respect other people's boundaries,

in other words, pedos, racists, homophobes, anti-choice, pro-lifers, TERFs, and other weirdos, just don't even try with me.

Below 18s, please DNI for your own safety and respect for other people's boundaries. Under 21s, learn more about sexual stuff here.

Anyways now that's been said...

Hey there, welcome!

I'm Sheepy

Bisexual, bi-brainial, mostly dumbass, far too kinky for my own good.

He/him/ they, early 30's,

Switch (dom leaning) A mythical creature who lives in Narnia

...

Some House Rules

Do not add comments to my posts unless we're mutuals! Keep your noise in the tags.

Asks are welcome, keep it respectful. If you ask a bunch of dumbass shit, expect a dumbass answer. If you decide to go oversexual and I block you, that's on you.

Submissions are open, however, keep it civil. Don't send me anything you wouldn't want to see in public.

If your partner has not consented to you sexually interacting with others just don't. Nope. I am not the guy, and this is not the place.

Mutuals can ask for Snapchat/ other socials - if I say no, do not take it personally, this is the only space where I live out, and speak out about this side of who I am.

...

FYI

All my posts are meant in gender neutral terms and reblogs/ gendered content are whatever you want them to be (example cock can be strap/ tdick, etc)

Content you'll find here: sex workers, gorgeous people, queer dynamics, soft to hard kinks, somno, cnc, knife/ blood play, oral, choking, gfd, and safe sex/ bdsm practices/ info. Send a tip via Ko-Fi to appreciate the bear bod and encourage more content. Operating on a queue about 97% of the time. I'm chronically online though

Tags

Self explanatory for most part. If you need me to tag something, let me know! Here are a few:

sheepy writes - my content

my gorgeous mutuals/ from my mutuals - mutuals' content

dumb soft doms - things I associate with

nom nom nom - butts

This is a safe space for people to enjoy, and explore themselves. I do not know everything about the lifestyle I'm in, but I educate as I learn.

This blog is my personal diary, I write whatever I feel, reblog posts I enjoy like pinning posters onto a board ... it's MY space. Always will be.

[practically-an-x-man]

1, 4, 6, 10 for Heart in Your Hands and/or Catch and Release?

Ooh thank you!!!

Answers under the cut for space :D

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

HIYH: We're really just getting started so that's hard to answer at the moment... I guess I wanted to play with perspectives a little more, contrasting Lars' modern and scientific worldview with Jimmy's more historic but curious perspective. And I wanted to take a few tropes, like the "true love's kiss" trope, and revamp them in a way that I found more appealing.

C&R: Hm... I think my main goal in this one was themes of grief and family, which I think I accomplished, but I also wanted to play around with this grief-stricken, somewhat guarded antihero character since that was a perspective I hadn't touched quite as much with my other characters. And I had just seen No Way Home three times in theaters and I wanted desperately to try and fit my own character into that world to the point that people would start to forget she wasn't really there in the movie.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

HIYH: Again, not much of a pool to pick from yet, but... this interaction was one of the first that popped into my head, and I just think it's so funny:

“You’re… shockingly normal.” Lars blurted, unable to help himself.  “You’re shockingly British.” the spirit responded, baring him another of those little half-smiles, “Where’ve you taken me, stranger?”

C&R: Oooh, there are a lot of lines to pick from here, I really love Olly's sharp wit. I could write a whole essay on her entrance into the battle with Charybdis, but instead I'm gonna go with this line from the fight on Lady Liberty:

“You like hip-hop? Or is jazz more your style?” Max taunted, lifting his hands. Argonaut kept her eyes on his palms, waiting for a spark. Even as she did, her mouth was running. “I prefer tango.” she said calmly, the only warning before her actuators came flying out at him. One claw slammed him mercilessly into the scaffolding, the resulting screech of metal on metal almost enough to make her wince. With two claws still anchoring her, the fourth and final spiraled outwards, reaching for the reactor glued to his chest. Argonaut grinned. “You had it coming.”

It's the combination of her mouth running on its own, automatically firing off these sharp quips about fighting-as-dancing and all that, while inwardly she's distracted by Peter's good-luck kiss and promise to take her to a Broadway show when everything's over (the "you had it coming" is a reference to the Cell Block Tango from Chicago)

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

HIYH: It's got a lighter overall tone than my other fics, and it's going to stay there. The darkest this one will get is the canon events in Frozen Empire, and even that's brief. Currently Heartstrings is a little fluffier than this one overall, but Heartstrings is gonna have some killer angst once we get to it.

C&R: It's the closest I get to a crossover fic. Usually I stick to one canon or universe, and I am still sticking to the general world of Spider-Man in this one, but we get surprise appearances from Hobie, references to Spiderverse's LYLA, and of course all the multiverse-jumping in No Way Home itself. I have to say, it's a BEAST to keep track of, but I think it's paid off.

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

HIYH: I knew I wanted to write for Lars since he seemed like a really neat character (and he's kinda cute ngl), and while his sexuality isn't ever stated or even hinted at in the movie as far as I could tell, I think his character works well as a gay man and I really wanted to explore the dynamic between his modern view on queerness compared to Jimmy's hidden-in-life/brave-in-death approach.

C&R: I've been a longtime fan of Andrew Garfield's Peter Parker, and I wanted to look at this, like... "two ships passing in the night" sort of romance as brought on by the multiverse. And he's super super bi, so I wanted to give him a partner who is equally bi and have them both be open about those past relationships.

In general, I tend to build my OCs to complement the canon characters, so I can explore some really neat character dynamics and relationships. That's also why I like writing OC x Canon rather than fully canon-character or fully OC ships most of the time, it allows me to build one character as a tool to explore whatever dynamic I want to capture with the other, like an extended character study. It's the challenge of keeping the canon character(s) reasonably accurate to their source material, while putting them into situations where they're interacting with someone completely new.

[aeide-thea]

defending h*rry styles is really, really not the hill i want to die on—i'm not even a fan of his!—but i gotta say, i'm really tired of the line of discourse i keep seeing that's like, 'he hasn't suffered enough to deserve credit for being gnc' or whatever the fuck, as if that were even remotely how these things work. like. there are a lot of good and important conversations to be had about the role of privilege in the kind of press he gets—maybe we could have those conversations without sounding as though we resent that he's not getting beaten up instead, as though that would somehow improve things???

[multiplecomplexes]

(@mashbrainrot since you wanted to know)

Okay, so I guess I should start off with this - I do not see Trapper and Hawkeye's relationship as being romantic, or even physical.

I think they love each other, deeply. I think they were both very important to each other's stability and mental health. But I just do not see their relationship extending beyond the platonic, or even the familial. Which, I would like add, does not dilute, diminish, or detract from the Love shared between them.

However.

I do also see them both as being closeted queer men, perhaps even partially closeted to one another. They both know, but neither has actually said anything outright, so they can dance around it, and joke about it, and try to find a comfortable place to be in it, while still holding on to that plausible deniability lifeline.

But the thing is, because they are platonic queer friends, they can play.

They can just say shit. And because there's no real stakes, there's no problem, it's all a good time and they can just screw around and play with this new (queer) way of being. The 4077, for all its horrors, has created, ironically, a safe space bubble. Klinger can crossdress and explore a new way of expressing his masculinity/femininity/gender, Margaret has a freedom of expression and responsibility that she probably just would not get in any other setting as a 1950s woman, Hawkeye is...the way he is, you see where I'm going with this?

The 4077, in its weird way isn't "real", this isn't the World. This is currently their reality but its not...Reality.

So they can be. They can try stuff, do stuff, explore themselves in ways that may or may not have been open to them in a different setting.

And then, Reality hits.

Henry dies, Trapper leaves, and thus - enter BJ, stage right.

(Further under the cut cause I start to go on)

And BJ....just messes everything up.

Because its real.

Joking and being open about his queerness isn't quite so comfortable for Hawkeye anymore when the guy he's bouncing off of is...earnest.

There is real emotion here, there are stakes, there are consequences. BJ has a family. And if something happens between he and Hawkeye...what then? We know how Hawkeye is about families, about children, the guilt that he would feel would destroy him.

These aren't just playful jokes that mean nothing, aren't serious, and are just meant to tease, the man is actually very much in love with Hawkeye. Its not

So it's not safe, anymore. We're striking too close to home, now.

Calling yourself a guy's missus just doesn't slide off as easily as it does when you know the guy in question wants that to be your reality, even if only for awhile.

Making sex jokes isn't as easy when that is something that could happen, compared to making those same jokes with someone who is like "yeah sure of course, I'd fuck you dude, totally" and then can't even keep a straight (haha) face while saying it because it's just so ridiculous and the both of you know it and are fine with it.

BJ's emotions, and the romantic love and physical attraction he feels toward Hawkeye is real. It's too real, in fact. Add a joke and there's very little space to breathe.

So, Hawkeye pulls back. He's still flamboyant, he still flagrant and out there, but in the face of BJ's reality, his diminishes.

Also something that needs to be taken into account is that, once season four rolled around, the show had gained popularity, recognition was growing. And the tone changed.

In the first three seasons they had several POC in either recurring roles, or singular roles with importance. They talked about racism, war, gay men in the army, civilians being stolen for soldiers, children being drafted, the way foreign soliders (and particularly American soldiers) came in and completely fucked over and subjugated the Korean people, the blatant LIES the army told to cover its ass when they made a mistake, propaganda, ect. it was a gigantic Fuck You to the army, "Regular Army" was the enemy, sometimes even more than opposing forces were.

Seasons 1-3, for all its faults (and it had them) was belligerent.

But season four and onwards was when the money and the attention came in. And that's not to say that they didn't still have a message, or anything like that, no no, not at all. But the studio was paying more attention now and they had to mind their step a bit better if they want to strike deep where it counts, because they have to measure their blows now.

So, by a kind of necessity, their teeth were dulled.

Klinger was in uniform more often, "Regular Army" actually had some good guys in it, and Hawkeye's queerness did not progress much farther from the point it had already reached (not to say that is actually would have before, we don't know, probably not, but you get my gist).

So that's my longwinided point, Hawkeye might have gotten queerer if Trapper had stayed around, I think it's probable even, given that his character is always pushing the envelope of behavior, but with the arrival of BJ and the truth of his emotions and desires toward Hawkeye, coupled with the advent of extra hands on the pen and eyes in the writer's room, effectively set the limit.

[sunlitmcgee]

Hello! I am very sorry if this comes off as aggressive or mean spirited in anyway, but I need to take these tags as an opportunity to educate and inform about the fact that Yes: Platonic relationships Are underrepresented in fandom spaces, and while there's no such thing as overrepresentation for queerness as a whole, it is a simple fact that more often than not, romantic sexual queer relationships are seen as a default. When 2 characters interact on screen, 99% of the time there's going to be an immediate rush of fanart of them kissing on the lips, doing typically romantic actions and NSFW activities, which is fine! But it is also very Alienating to people like myself who do not experience those attractions in the same way allo romantic/sexual queers do.

This post is about how when arospec people try to make content of characters in the relationships we may desire(queerplatonic/platonic), we are often accused of homophobia, told we're erasing the queerness, and are generally treated like shit for wanting to explore ourselves through a relationship in a piece of media.

I am sure you didn't Mean to, but saying that it's "daft" to acknowledge that is a bit hurtful. I hope that this can help provide some insight into the struggles arospecs have in fandom. I hope you have a nice day!

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

I'm obsessed with the latest popcast episode about Harry Styles. Jon Caramanica talks about Lindsay Zoladz in the first half about Harry's music and then Kaitlyn Tiffany come on and they all three talk about fandom (and their experiences of 1D concerts) and everything about it fascinates me.

I always love Jon Caramanica's takes on Harry Styles, from the legendary "Liking Harry Styles music is a symptom of liking Harry Styles". To his very on-brand plot twist that he actually likes Harry's House (and Cinema in particular - although he thinks it should have been about Cinnamon). And he upped that, when he was read the Sony leak powerpoint about the 1D members 'Beautiful, Cheeky and Adorably Slow' he said 'well that person deserves a raise, because they nailed 2022 Harry's persona'. But his takes were only the bonus.

What was endless fascinating to me, is how they kept returning tothe gap they very clearly identified. Lindsay Zoladz was about how much he wants to please and hold up his female listeners and says that she loses a sense of his perspective, and Jon Caramanica says it's the totality of his perspective and she replies "I feel like there has to be more there." And there was this massive space where the elephant may or not be and it was just left there.

And I'm not like 'critics responses to Harry's music proves he's closeted'. But what I do think it proves (to paraphrase Jon Caramanica in a different context) is that what we are noticing is real, that doesn't mean we're right - but it does mean we are responding to something that actually exists.

Although they also compared him to Shawn Mendes and Lil Nas X - and part of me was just like: "Oh come on! Can you acknowledge the spade when you're actively digging with it" (which of course they can't and they absolutely shouldn't - but it shows the impossible bind of the closet).

Jon Caramanica's comparison to Lil Nas X was fascinating - he said that both Harry and Lil Nas X were very good at being a celebrity, but there was something missing in their music which was the pretence of them being celebrities. And Lil Nas X was trying too hard, and Harry wasn't trying hard enough. Which I thought was a fascinating commentary on both queerness as spectacle, and the way queer artists are understood.

**************

And then they brought on Kaitlyn Tiffany and things got even more interesting. I'm not going to go into great detail about Kaitlyn Tiffany's understanding of 1D and the line she seems to walk when presenting herself as a fan and fandom to people she sees as grownups.

What absolutely blew my mind about the episode was that Jon Caramanica asked Kaitlyn Tiffany: "Did fans forsee Harry's interest in fashion and his gender presentation, and if they did did they help make that happen by their interest?"

And her reply was: "The fashion thing did come as a surprise, because 1D dressed quite bad"

I've no idea what was going on for her there. Was she telling the truth, and within the fandom she knew nobody was noticing the nail polish that had been cleaned off, or the signs of exploration in 2014 and 2015? Was she deliberately prevaricating and avoiding the question, because she can't acknowledge what that would mean about fandom dynamics.

I was struck again about how incomprehensible 1D and its fandom are, unless you have some curiosity about Larries. Kaitlyn Tiffany is quite extreme in her investment in presenting Larries as illegitimate. But that perspective has permeated wider discourse about 1D. And it's worth noting that the idea that a group of fans are illegitimate and therefore curiosity is not appropriate is very odd within wider pop culture discourse. And I think it's worth thinking about both the cause and affect of that.

[queerprayers]

hi! i hope you’re having a wonderful day/night. im coming for a bit of advice, but first id like to thank you for creating this blog! faith can be such a difficult thing to struggle with, especially as a queer youth like myself. it can feel so isolating at times, so it’s really nice to be able to get advice from someone who understands what that feels like and will give you honest assistance. anyways now on to my actual bit. i’ve been sort of struggling with my own faith for a few months now, it’s always at the back of my head. i’ve always found religion and christianity really fascinating regardless of whether i believed in it or not. i was raised Lutheran when i was a little kid, but when we moved away from my grandparents i found out that not believing in that was an option and i haven’t really honestly believed since. but these past few months i’ve found myself habitually praying (specifically to the archangels) almost as a knee jerk response to when i go through something hard and need some help. i never confess anything, as even if i did believe i don’t think i would do that, but it’s often times just explaining the problem and asking for help. it often makes me feel better. since then i’ve just not been sure what i believed in. i don’t think i’ll ever fully conform to a christian Capital G God, but maybe religion isn’t as scary and othering as i thought and i might try it out. i know this was mostly just a vent, but i’d love to hear your thoughts/advice for me if you have any. it felt nice to get this off my chest regardless. thank you so much <3

It's been a while since you sent this but hello, beloved! I'm doing well today! Vents are good! You are so welcome for this blog—I created it when I really wasn't sure about anything except I couldn't change myself, and I felt a calling to a God I wasn't sure existed. I've grown so much and I'm in a much better place (although that place is still often scary and always full of questions).

Prayer is such a human response, and a beautiful one—that impulse to ask the universe for help, to admit we're not in control, and that we feel alone sometimes but we know or we hope somewhere deep down that we're not. I totally understand prayer without faith, and we can find prayer-like practices in many secular places, like meditation and art. Talking through a problem helps most everyone, even if we're 100% sure no one is listening! Even in my moments of extreme doubt, I always pray—whether I'm angry at God or sure They're imagined or hateful. 

Also, it's completely normal to fall back to the faith we grew up with even if we're not sure it fits us anymore. The values and practices we were given as a kid come with us, for better or for worse. Sometimes we just want to go back to when it may have been simple to recite a prayer before bed, and not question the whole universe as we're doing so. This doesn't make us weak or brainwashed—it makes us human (nostalgic, perhaps, or hurting, but human).

A verse I always come back to when I'm in those in-between moments of faith is Mark 9:24: "Lord I believe; help my unbelief!" We're allowed to be full of contradictions, and we're allowed to pray to a God we're not sure exists. The scene is of a father pleading for his ill child, and it doesn't matter what he's sure of—he will fall down on his knees and pray through tears. May it be so for us.

I wouldn't worry about conforming—we need more people to question and not conform and find new ways to have a relationship with God! Being comfortable, inspired, loving > conforming. 

It's lovely that you're thinking of exploring religion! I would really encourage you to learn about a variety of faiths and visit local worship spaces—especially faiths/communities that you don't know anything about or would never have considered! You never know where you'll find God. Some religion is scary and othering, I won't lie—but the people who push through that and find or create spaces full of love and faith are the strongest people I know. It can be a lot of effort with a noticeable lack of promised reward, but I wouldn't have it any other way. 

To be a happy queer Christian, you have to want it, and you have to fight for it. While I wish it was easier, it does mean we're here because we don't have a choice, because something/someone called us here, and because we followed love and not the rules. (Didn't mean for that to sound like a T-shirt slogan; please give me some royalties.)

God be with you on your journey, may the universe watch over you on the days when you can't name it as God, may archangels protect and guide you, and remember the world is your home, regardless of whether you ever find/want a faith community.

<3 Johanna

[lokiondisneyplus]

Director Kate Herron calls from her childhood bedroom. She's staying at her parents' home in Southeast London for the summer, having spent the past year apart due to the pandemic and directing her latest series, Marvel's Loki. "It's so surreal seeing the show go out," she says over Zoom, "and being in the room that I was last in as a teenager."

Loki's first three episodes have seen the God of Mischief (Tom Hiddleston) team up with Agent Mobius (Owen Wilson) and the all-powerful Time Variance Authority to track down a fugitive Variant of himself: A female Loki that goes by Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino) who's set on blowing up the Sacred Timeline and, with it, the MCU as we know it.

"My dad, bless him, he was never into Marvel before, but now he's obsessed with it," she says. "When I got the job, he started watching his way through the films, and he's got all these different YouTubers that he now watches for theories, and he tries to get spoilers out of me. He's like, 'What does it mean?!' and I'm like, 'Dad, I can't tell you!' It's very sweet, but very funny."

Now, with three episodes left of the season, she's bracing for their first family viewing experience. "I might not be able to, though. I might be like, 'You have to watch it by yourselves and then we can talk!'" she laughs. "Wait to hear the Loki theme and be like, 'Oh, I can go downstairs now.'"

In the meantime, Herron fielded all of ET's midseason questions about making Loki's bisexuality canon in the MCU, flexing more of his magic than ever before and why Sylvie isn't really Lady Loki or the Enchantress.

We are halfway through the season. Outside your parents, how has the reaction felt so far?

It's been amazing. We had these big ideas in it -- like, about free will and good and evil -- and wanting to [know that] if we're going back in with Loki because he's so beloved, that it's going to be a good story for that character, but some fresh terrain. I think the response has been pretty joyous and it's just so fun seeing what people are liking, what people's theories are. I couldn't be more happy, to be honest.

Being someone who appears pretty online and active on social media, how deep are you going into reading what people say and diving into those theories and all that?

I definitely read a lot of them -- I don't comment on them -- but I used to love Lost and Game of Thrones, and I was on Reddit, commenting, like, "Ooh, maybe it means this or means this," and I think that's the fun thing with our show, right? Our fans are so smart and it's fun seeing what they're getting right and what's not right but is very interesting. The Easter eggs they dig up are always amazing to me. Some of them we put in there, and I'm like, "Well, let's see..." and I'm like, "Oh, they found it!" So, it's really fun tracking it online. It's very weird directing something where you know every frame will be [screen]grabbed by some fans because they're looking for stuff.

I loved your tweet about why it was important for you to confirm that Loki is bisexual in the show. Not really reveal -- because he's bisexual in the comics -- but make that canon. Talk to me about having those conversations with Marvel.

I think it was something very important to everyone. And I felt like, OK, how can we acknowledge this? We have aspects of the story that are there, so how do we build this into the story so it feels earned in the moment? I didn't want it to feel like we were just wedging something in, but we had this beautiful scene where these two characters are being really raw and really honest about who they are, and I was like, "Well, it is a part of who he is and who they are." For me, talking with Michael [Waldron] and Bisha [K. Ali], it just felt like it was the right moment for that line. This episode is really beautiful for me, because it's these two characters getting to know each other, so in that sense, it felt like the right place for that conversation to happen. And I thought it was done really beautifully by the writers.

Obviously, like I've said, it's very personal to me, and I said it was a small step in some ways -- because obviously, he's just talking about it -- but in the bigger scale of things, I'm like, oh no, it's massive actually. If I saw that when I was 10, it would be really big for me. It's been really nice getting comments from people online. Some people were like, "It helped me actually talk about how I feel to my family and helped me come out." And I thought, "Well, if it helped one person do that, then it's worth it."

This is the MCU's first lead character who is openly queer. Did you know that? Were you aware of how big a milestone this would be?

Yeah. Well, in some senses, yes, and in some senses you're never sure, right? Because [Marvel is] so secretive about all their other projects. [Laughs] For me, I was like, I'm telling Loki's story, it's a part of who they are and I just want to acknowledge it. It's canon in the comics and if we can make it canon in the films, that would be amazing. When I came on board, I was like, if there's a way to do this, it would mean a lot to me and, I'm sure, a lot of people. But it was very welcomed, and I think we're all very proud of how we did that.

This may be getting into spoiler territory that you aren't able to talk about, but acknowledging one's sexuality is one important part of representation, seeing it play out through relationships is another. Can we expect to see any further exploration of what it means for Loki to be bisexual in this show?

I'm trying to think how to answer your question. [Laughs] I would say in our story, this is how we acknowledge it. But I hope that that paves the way for deeper exploration.

We're halfway through the season. What were your biggest goals in these first three episodes?

I think the biggest one was obviously, the Loki we're with in this story is on a completely different path, so it was tracking his character in the sense that he basically sees this amazing arc that the other Loki had gone on across the MCU movies, he sees that he reconciles with his brother, but that wasn't him in that moment. He's watching a different version of himself. But seeing that moment and seeing that he has room for growth and change is really interesting with our Loki, because he's in a very different headspace. So, it was tracking, what's familiar about this character from the Loki that we've seen over the last 10 years go from villain to antihero? And what is going to be completely different and completely different sides to this character that we get to now dig our teeth into? That was something really important to me and to Tom and the writing team, and it was really fun unpacking that and what his identity means.

The other challenges, honestly, were just setting up the TVA, because it's outside of time and space and giving that a grounding and a reality and making that feel like a whole new exciting corner of the MCU. That was a big responsibility, and I was really excited by that. And then you have the bigger arc of the story, but you also knowing it's going out weekly on TV. So, how are we going to track this week by week. Where are we leaving the characters and what are we leaving for the audience? Something we always thought about was we knew there'd be discussion week to week, so it was like, "Where are we going to give them certain bits of information across the show?" We wanted to provoke conversation and discussion about even just things like free will, you know?

I will say about the TVA, I'm basically a human Miss Minutes stan account. I think she's the baddest bitch in the MCU. I watch every Miss Minutes fancam that pops up on my Twitter feed.

She's incredible! What I love about it is that she's in our first episode and she actually used to come out of the presentation that Loki watches -- she came out on the screen -- but it was too crazy. We were like, "OK, we can't do that in the first episode. We'll do it in the second episode!" But what I love about her is that we're seeing the TVA through Loki's eyes and it's, like, the status quo, right? And if our status quo is a Southern-talking, Roger Rabbit-style clock, the show is going to probably get quite weird. I think that's what I love about her. And obviously, Tara [Strong] is awesome. Yeah, Miss Minutes is a lot of fun.

You talked about exploring who Loki is and could be. He's always had an arsenal of powers, but in this series, you really get to explore and define what his power set is. What were those conversations like?

That was something else, coming in, I was so excited about. We have six hours of him, let's see some more magic. Because across the comics, he's super powerful, and for example, in the last episode, that's what was so exciting to me about that, the oner at the end of episode 3 was that I've seen a lot of oners but I haven't seen one with magic. So, I was like, let's put loads of magic in there! We get Loki using his telekinesis and his magic blasts and then also Sylvie, as well, and her powers.

For me, it was exciting getting to bring those in in a way that pushed the story forwards. Because I get it, when he first lands in the TVA, they can't use magic, so I know if I was watching, I'd be like, "What? No magic?!" But I think that's the fun thing is, we still have three episodes to go and also it was fun to put him on Lamentis and see him using his powers in different ways. It was definitely something important to me and the team, was to get to show a little bit more of him. But across the films, you can only do so much. Now we have six hours, so it felt like, of course we have to delve into that more.

I don't know if you saw this on Twitter, one of my favorite reactions to episode 3 was someone tweeted a screenshot of Sylvie screaming and her hands glowing and wrote, "she did the meme!!"

[Laughs] That's great!

We've now officially met Sylvie, and we're starting to piece together that this may be sort of a hybrid character of Lady Loki and Sylvie Lushton, the Enchantress. Are you able to confirm that you pulled from both to create your Sylvie? Or is that something that's to be further revealed?

I would say there's more to be delved into. One thing I would say is, like, she's different to the comics. Like, she's a unique character, but obviously, there's things that have been pulled from. I think for her character, she's on the run and she's called Sylvie and she's dyed her hair. The blonde that we associate with Sylvie is played in that sense, but it makes sense for her character within our story. But I would say deeper than that, yeah, there's more to be revealed about her character to comes.

The main thing I would say is: Lady Loki in the comics is a very different character to our character, obviously. I love that character and I think she's got a very different journey. But our Sylvie is a female Loki, in that sense -- because in episode 1 and 2, they know it's a Loki they're tracking -- but I think that's part of the discussion. It's almost like Loki -- as in Tom Loki -- he's like, "Wait, how much of my life have you got? Who are you?" And I think that's the real question is, who is she? So, we will discuss that as the show goes on. Why does she not like being called Loki? What's her past? Where did she come from?

Tom and Sophia have such great chemistry, but how challenging was it for you and Michael and Sophia and the writers to create a character that essentially has to match up with our Loki, who's had however many films to become the fan-favorite character that he is?

It starts in the writing. Because she's a unique creation, and that was exciting and I was intrigued where they were pulling from with the comics. I was like, OK, that's cool. Beyond that, I think it's casting it. Sophia is an incredible actor. I've worked with her before. She has this fire in her and she brings this amazing vulnerability to all her characters, but she's also, like, so funny. It's just, so many of these things she always brings, I was like, they're so Loki. So, I was like, "We've got to get her to read!" And we were just all blown away by her read of it.

She definitely can hold her own. That's the other thing, as well. I know her, and I was like, she will hold her own. I know she will. Because she's going against Tom's Loki and that's such the fun thing about them. Even just on the train, where it's the end of the world and Loki's solution is, "I'm going to have a party and I'm going to have a drink. I'm going to have a lovely time." And her solution is, "I'm not going to have a glass of champagne, thanks. I'm going to focus on the mission of getting off the moon." Those little differences is what's quite fun about them to me. How are they different, and how are they the same?

Was there something you got to do as a director in these first three episodes that you had never done before that you were especially excited or nervous or both to tackle?

I suppose so much of the show, right? Because I've done a lot of drama and a lot of comedy, but they were like, "Here you go! Here's the reins to this massive, genre-driven piece where you have to set up a new corner of the MCU and you're going to have this beloved character." There was a lot to carry. But I'd say in terms of something I was excited about, only because Kevin Feige was teasing me, when we filmed the big oner at the end of episode 3, I was really inspired in the writing, because it sounded like you were really with the characters. I love doing long takes anyway and I remember thinking, "Oh man, this sequence feels like the one that we should do as this oner," because I want the audience to feel like they're with Sylvie and Loki in this moment, and it's also a moment where you finally start to see an apocalypse and it feels more real, because you're seeing the horror and the terror that's going along with that.

For me, that was exciting, but the really cheesy bit that made me so excited is they had these foam rocks that fell on people, but it felt like real movie magic to me. I was so obsessed with the rocks. I was like, "Oh my god. This is like real, big Hollywood filmmaking." And I remember Kevin Feige was like, "You can take a rock home, if you want," and I was like, "Oh my god!" So I have this rock. It's in bubble wrap now, and I'm going to unpack it when I move into my place. But that's probably honestly the most excited I've ever been. [Laughs] I was just so excited by the rocks. Oh, and also, I remember when we were at Roxxcart and Tom gets thrown into those robo dogs, I was obsessed with the robo dogs. He was like, "I think this is the happiest I've ever seen you." So, those are my favorite moments on set. The foam rocks and the robo dogs.

Somebody's going to come into your flat in the future and there's going to be a shelf with just a rock and a robotic dog on it.

Mhmm! And I'll be like, "Yeah, guys, I did something." [Laughs] They'll be like, "What is this...?" But the foam rocks are genuinely amazing, because they look like real, heavy rocks, but they're so light. I was so fascinated with them. I was so excited. I made a lot of low budget stuff before this, so it was a big deal to me.

My favorite part of the first three episodes is the Kate Berlant cameo. How did that come to be?

Basically, I love comedy and my producer, Kevin Wright, does as well, and we were trying to think of people that could be fun. We've got Josh [Fadem] in episode 1, and that was a miracle. I just spoke to her about the part and was like, "This is a very small role, but if you're interested, you're very talented and you're so funny." And she was like, "You know what? That sounds really fun. Renaissance faire? Yeah, I'll come do it." So, it was very kind of her to come down and do that for us. She's so funny, man. She's so funny.

Do you let her riff at all?

We did. We have a lot of alts and a lot of very extended bits of her talking to the Minutemen. I think there's one where she talks about a bird show at the faire. She's so funny. I was very flattered and grateful that she did that for us.

I'm going to start the #ReleaseTheKateBerlantCut campaign. I want a whole episode of her alts. Or she can be the new Stan Lee and cameo in every MCU project. Before I let you go, if you had to choose one word to tease these upcoming three episodes, what is that word?

Hmm. I thought of one word, but then I'm like, it's spoiler-y, so I can't say that. [Laughs] Oh, one word. Exciting? I have to say "exciting," because I can't say the other one I wanted to say!